#(so making note and joke of it felt appropriate)
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ahalliance · 4 months ago
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antoine + étoiles insane moments, p.2. aka the ass saga. p1 here
transcript + context for some of the clips below
[Video Transcript:
[First clip plays.]
Rivenzi: You want to see Etoiles’ ass, of course…
Antoine: Yeah, I’m gonna stare at your ass, Etoiles…
Etoiles: Fuck, what dread, during Popcorn [a talkshow Etoiles had been invited on the previous week], when I went up to the map and you said that, and I thought ‘whoa—‘
Antoine: Sorry
[Second clip plays: the moment during Popcorn]
PA/Domingo: Antoine Daniel has posted a tweet for us: ‘I wanted to look at this map of Africa, but Etoiles’ ass in the shape of a standing bell is driving me crazy. Smiley face with eyes in the shape of hearts.’
[Third clip plays: a continuation of the first clip.]
Antoine: Sorry, bro…
Ponce: Oh but that tweet, besides
Rivenzi: A standing bell…
Antoine: What’s more is that I never tweet and when I do it’s to tweet this sort of shit
Ponce: That’s exactly what I told myself. When PA read the tweet, I thought to myself, ‘but he never tweets!’ And he tweets to talk about Etoiles’ ass
Antoine: There needs to be a good reason, you see
[Fourth clip plays: a clip from the Team du Lundi’s minecraft server.]
JDG: Someone (in chat) said, ‘I can’t tell whether the atmosphere is good tonight or—‘
Antoine: It sucks, it sucks
Florence: You don’t need to ask every time, it always sucks
Baghera: Always sucks. Especially when Etoiles talks about ass [which had been a previous topic of discussion for him that night]
Antoine: Stooop, I enjoy it
Mynthos: You enjoy it?
JDG: It’s true tonight that it’s more weird than bad
Antoine: I like it when Etoiles talks about ass….
[Fifth clip plays: a second and different clip from Popcorn.]
Etoiles: —you’re not allowed to tell me that [Xari claimed to not know much about cinema]. I know you, I studied, because you’re my rival [in pop culture]. I really enjoy what you do in life, Xari, and you’re really knowledgeable about cinema
Antoine: What do you mean he’s your rival? And I’m just shit?
Etoiles: You, you’re my lover
Antoine: Oh yeah, sorry, my bad
PA/Domingo: One of the three is gonna die soon. There’s a whole situation, there’s a whole lore
[Sixth clip plays: a clip from the QSMP.]
Antoine: Don’t you want to get married, dude?
Etoiles: Well, I don’t have the time to fuck
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: I don’t have time to fuck, dude. I just need to kill everyone
Antoine: No but just a marriage, you see. You’ve watched Game of Thrones— you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you can’t know how marriages work in that series
Etoiles: I’ve watched it, but I’m married to the street, dude. I can’t give out my heart that quickly
Antoine: Yeah but you can give out your ass quickly, no?
Etoiles: No, frankly, my ass—
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: Giving out your ass takes time, dude
Antoine: What the fuck…
Etoiles: Then again, I need to think about it. I’ll give you my answer. I need to discuss, and everything
Antoine: I’m tired of getting betrayed. You get married with someone else—
Etoiles: Never in a million years!
Antoine: —it’s like yesterday. Apparently Maximus got the mic from his ass removed while I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be the one to do it
Etoiles: Oh okay, so I’m your second choice?
[Overlapping]
Antoine: No! It was just to help him—
Etoiles: No, but, okay
Antoine: He got— listen—
Etoiles: There’s no problem!
Antoine: Fuck, nevermind
Etoiles: There’s no issue! Oh, so you’re opening my chest and stealing?
Antoine: I was just looking! Out of curiosity
Etoiles: Yeah, that’s it
Antoine: I don’t even understand what’s in it
Etoiles: Yeah, out of curiosity. Dude, your opinion on my cave?
Antoine: Well frankly it’s big
end Video Transcript.]
#antoine daniel#etoiles#étoiles#jay clips#qsmp#<- this is an appropriate tag wait till the end . it makes up half the video too#4/08/2024#le fameux bol tibétain d’étoiles…. traduit pour les inters#and i call it a saga here because the clips here span from early 2021 to mid 2023#you know the first clips are old because antoine is still using twt at that point#not included here; a zlan 2024 clip where étoiles yells ‘fuck me in the ass’ (french) at antoine 👍#also not included ; a serveur du lundi clip where étoiles jokes about antoine having a leash at home#antoine denying this and étoiles saying ‘well i spent a weekend at your place’#????????? yeah sure why not#ALSO re the qsmp clip antoine brought up the marriage possibility after hearing about the upcoming spiderbit wedding <3#bro sounds so fucking needy in the clip it’s sending me . how can i make this into qantoine lore……. this WAS the period where things were#slowly changing within the french dynamic (aka . they were meeting and talking to new people) and qantoine was growing increasingly paranoi#about trusting people then……. him trying to hold onto someone he loves dearly because he’s not sure if he can keep up with him…..#anw some other translation type notes read if ur interested in that:#wasn’t quite sure on the best way to translate ‘l’angoisse’ here . i went with ‘dread’#literally it translates to ‘anxiety/anguish/dread/etc’ but it’s used in a very flippant way in slang#so anguish felt a bit strong here . when someone says ‘oh l’angoisse’ about something it’s usually to mean an uncomfortable or unusual#scenario . but the intensity of that very much varies#OH ALSO : if anyone wants the sources to each of these clips lmk#i may just add them here later when im less tired#insuline & nicotine
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I just wrote an elaborate approx. two page backstory for a new D&D character for a campaign I'm joining.
But I still have not assigned a name, gender, or appearance to the same character.
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darnell-la · 3 months ago
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Sub! Logan would be so fucking hot. And the way you write him is soo good! I'd love to see your ideas about how he would act as a sub.
note: we rushed this BUT we have more. better ones coming soon!
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
“Going to pearls,” a woman spoke as she got into his car. “What’s your name?” He asked to confirm. “Y/n,” she said. The man turned around, realizing that this young lady was alone.
Usually, he picks up a huge group. That’s why he has a limousine, but she’s alone and has no one on her guest list.
“You gonna drive, handsome?” Y/n asked. Logan quickly turned back around and began driving. He was surprised by the nickname, but he let it go. He’s been called everything by now.
Logan’s been driving for ten minutes, music low, and y/n looking out the window. He’s never felt this awkwardness because it wasn’t him and only one person in the car.
“So — Friends busy?” He asked. Y/n slowly turned her head, looking at the man in the mirror. “All canceled. As always,” she added before she looked back out of the window.
“Oh,” he said, feeling a bit bad. He could see she paid one hundred for every hour tonight, and he would be with her for six hours.
“I mean, I can talk to my job, probably give you a refund or somethin,” he said, feeling like he should help her in some way. Usually, the man couldn’t care less, but y/n’s a young woman going to a club alone.
“I’ll be fine — Guess all the drinks I bought will be for me,” she said in a low voice that pained Logan to hear. She seemed sweet, and her friends canceled out on her. All of them.
“What was this for? Like, tonight? What did you have planned for tonight?” He kept a conversation going which confused y/n. His profile says he preferred not to talk and that he wouldn’t talk first.
“Well, it’s kind of my birthday, so — Yeah,” y/n sighed. “Oh, well — Happy birthday?” He said, not knowing if it was appropriate. The woman giggled to herself at his attempt to make her feel better.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna drink? I’ve got plenty and I can’t leave with any bottles,” she said, pointing to the bottles on the table, all hard liquor and only one juice for a mixture.
“I kind of have to drive you back home,” Logan turned down her offer, which he’d never done before. “C’mon! It’s my birthday,” she smiled at the man as she raised a bottle for him to take.
Logan waved her off, wanting to be responsible and think about her life that could be at stake, but he still felt bad about the empty spaces on the couches.
“Fine, but only if you don’t report me,” he joked, making her laugh as she took a bottle herself. “Cheers to me and my only friend who showed up which is the bodyguard,” she raised her drink.
“Cheers,” the man chuckled before raising the drink to his lips. He watched the girl drink, thinking it would be a small amount like any young lady, but her — She had almost chugged half the bottle.
“Woah, bub — Don’t hurt yourself,” he said, making her roll her eyes playfully. “Oh, don’t be mad because I can drink more than you,” she said, wanting to have some kind of fun tonight. Getting her bodyguard drunk and then driving her home sounds like a fun story to tell.
“Trust me, y/n — You can’t,” he said, but y/n didn’t believe him. That was until he shrugged his shoulders and chugged the whole bottle. The expression across her face was stunned. She’s never seen anything like that before.
“What the fuck,” she whispered. “Yeah — Kinda my power,” he chuckled. The man turned around to start his job and stood outside of her closed section until she spoke.
“Wait! I-I’m kind of alone so I don’t mind if you — stay? Please, I kind of feel like shit,” she admitted. She told her friends she was completely fine about their cancellation, but she’s not. She lost a lot of money and her mood was talk.
Logan couldn’t turn the offer down just like the last, so he stayed. The two drank all night, finishing every last bottle. She even got him to dance with her which he wouldn’t have done with anyone else. He had no idea what’s gotten into him tonight.
“God, tonight was fun,” y/n said as the man turned the corner where her apartment was. “Yeah, it was,” Logan smiled as he took a quick look at the young lady who was now sitting in the passenger seat, body turned towards him.
“You don’t understand how much I appreciate you, Mister Logan. You were the best fun I’ve had in like years!” She admitted. He wasn’t scared to drink and dance like most of her friends were.
“You’re the most fun I’ve had in maybe forever,” Logan meant it, but she had no idea who this man was. She was too sad to notice when she first met him and now she’s too drunk to realize.
“Is there a way I can repay you? Maybe like a cup of tea? I don’t fuckin’ know,” y/n laughed with him. “I don’t know, hun, I kind of have to get back home,” he said.
“How far do you live from here?” She asked. “About thirty minutes,” he said. “Oh, no,” she gasped. He’d been drinking because of her, and now she was going to have him drive back and half an hour just to get him.
“Don’t worry, bub. I've been doin’ this a lot,” he said. “Yeah, but I’ll be stressed all night. Please, stay the night. I have a spare room? It’s the least I can do,” she said, sounding like a beg. “God, it’s hard to turn you down. Do you know that?” He said as y/n smiled.
Logan parked the car for the night before y/n got him situated in her spare room. “Still want tea?” She asked. “I think I’ll be fine, bub,” he said. “But a shot would due,” he added. He had seen the liquor drawer she had.
“Comin’ right up, handsome,” she said before walking off. As she did, he couldn’t help but watch her figure. He scanned her dress earlier, but she looked way better just now. Maybe it was the alcohol? He didn’t know.
“You always drink this much?” She asked. “Yeah, and you?” He asked as she handed him his shot before sitting next to him with hers. “As you can see,” she giggled.
“Cheers to a goodnight with a man I brought back from the club?” She couldn’t help herself. “Cheers,” the man downed the drink as he watched her. She’s looked so drinking…
“God, that it’s hard,” she shook her head. “Yeah,” he aimlessly said as he watched a drop of liquor roll down her lip. “Hey, c’mere,” the man said, softly turning her face before wiping the liquor from her mouth.
Y/n was shocked and silent, not knowing what to do after. That seemed so sweet, but at the same time, she was drunk out of her mind.
“They look pretty,” the man spoke, breaking the silence. His thumb grazed her bottom lip, loving the smooth feeling of them. “Really?” She asked low, feeling shy all of a sudden. She hasn’t been all night until now.
“Mhm hm,” he mumbled as he slowly leaned into her. She felt like she was in a trance the way she felt she needed to lean in. Her heart was raising until their lips touched.
At first, it was sweet and slow, maybe a little tongue but after they both opened and locked eyes, they couldn’t help it.
Y/n quickly hopped on top of Logan, now grinding on his hips as he held her up by her ass. The man was shocked at her aggression and dominance but couldn’t complain.
“You taste so good,” she said under her breath as she kissed him. “I’m glad I took you home,” she added before moving down to his neck. She felt this hard urge to mark the man she hardly knew.
“Fuck, y/n,” Logan moaned low. He knew his voice could go that high. Y/n hummed into his neck, sucking long and rough to make sure he was living here marked up.
“Can feel how hard you are. Bet you’ve been waiting for me to touch you all night, hm?” She asked, hands traveling down his stomach until she could palm his clothes cock.
“Mhm hm,” the man whined at her grip. “Words, baby,” she demanded in a soft voice. “Y-Yes, baby,” the man’s mouth went slack at her touch. “So good,” she said before pushing him down in the bed.
“Gonna be good for me tonight?” She asked as he nodded quickly. “Gonna be my birthday gift, baby?” Y/n had lifted her dress before fondling with his belt. “Yes, yes, I am,” he couldn’t hide his heavy breathing.
“Oh god — You’re a big boy, aren’t you?” Y/n pulled Logan’s cock out. He was heavy and huge. “Yes, I am,” he answered, wanting to be good for her. He wanted to make her proud. He wanted to make a woman he barely knew, proud.
“He looks hungry,” y/n stroked the man, watching his pre cum leak from the tip. Y/n spat on the man’s cock, making his eyes widen because no one has ever done that to him before. They’d just wrap their mouth around him or push him inside with no preparation.
“Gonna feel so good,” y/n lifted her hips before sliding all the way down in one go. “F-Fuck,” the man cried out, his already bucking up into her.
“Fuck — Could you be my bodyguard every night?” She jokingly asked but the man nodded back so quickly, she thought about it. Maybe he isn’t too bad. He was fun tonight. He could be fun every night.
“Gonna let me wet you every night, baby?” Y/n asked as she leaned down on his body. “Fuck, yes — I wanna be with you every night,” the man’s hips moved slightly up into y/n, causing her to clench around him from how deep he gets.
“How old are you again, baby?” Y/n asked. “Two hundred,” the man’s hands gripped y/n’s ass, not thinking about his response. “A man with a sense of humor — So hot,”
Y/n rolled her hips, grinding on the man to feel every thick and long inch in her. The way his skin rubbed her walls, made her squeeze around him. He was close but felt embarrassed about how short he was going to last.
“Gonna cum for me, baby?” Y/n asked, seeing the man bite his lip, trying to focus on holding back. “C’mon — I want you to fill me,” y/n whispered in his ear before giving it a light slick.
“Fuck,” the man let out a shaky moan as his legs shook. “C’mon, baby — Cum in me,” y/n began bouncing in the man’s cock, feeling him twitch inside her. She just knew he was going to give her a big and well-needed load.
“C’mon,” y/n rode him harder, filling the room with their skin slapping against each other and her wet cunt coating his cock. “I’m cumming!” Logan warned through his teeth as his hips bucked upwards a few times.
Y/n kept riding him, mixing his seed inside of her until she felt like she had enough. “So fuckin’ good, baby. I wonder if you taste you,” y/n spoke, feeling the urge to suck him dry.
“Fuck, it’s too much,” the old man said, grilling her hips a bit tight so she could slow down, but she wouldn’t. “Oh, really?” She asked, feeling the knot grow in her stomach. She was so close.
“God- Fuck — I can’t take it, baby,” Logan tried begging her. “Yes, you can. Just a few more seconds, baby. You think you can do that?” She asked, looking into Logan’s eyes. They were glossy and full of lust.
The man nodded his head with a shaky hum, feeling the need to cum again. “Good boy,” she spoke as she leaned up, rocking her hips back and forth until she couldn’t anymore.
Y/n released on the man, earning a whine from him. After she came, he couldn’t hold himself in. He had come inside of her again. For the second time.
“Oh god,” y/n breathed out, feeling so full. “S-Sorry,” the man shook as she leaned in front of his face, hands rubbing his cheek. “Wanna feel more of you,” she said.
The man was shocked at how many times this woman could go, but he didn’t want to disappoint her. He wanted to pleasure her and make her happy. He tried to be good for her. And he was for the whole night and many more.
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xiaowhore · 1 year ago
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hydro dragon, hydro dragon, don't cry!
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premise. in which you manage to make neuvillette feel better at the expense of your dignity. (a fair trade, really.)
word count. 1.5k
note. do umbrellas exist at teyvat. i really don't know.
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You've never taken Monsieur Neuvillette as the type to dramatically brood in the rain when he gets sad, but to be fair, you don't know much about him at all.
You clutch onto your umbrella, contemplating. So, uh... Are you supposed to approach him now? Shield him from the rain with your umbrella? That doesn't sound too bad, actually. But then what? Ask him if his pet fish died and now he's mourning his loss? That's hardly appropriate to say to the Chief of Justice... But it would be creepier to just stand there without saying anything, right?
You could leave and pretend you didn't see anything. Of course, that's an option too. It's possible he prefers to be left alone when he's unhappy.
But sulking while standing in the rain just gives “I want someone's attention” vibes, doesn't it?!
With a fit of reckless courage and a “fuck it” mindset, you advance your way forward to where he stands.
Regretting something as soon as you do it is on-brand for you, you realize as you soon come to learn you have to be on the tip of your toes to have the umbrella barely raising over his head instead of hanging from him. You must make a pathetic sight, attempting to shield both yourself and this hulking tower of a man from the rain with a tiny umbrella.
“...What are you doing?” Neuvillette turns around, taken aback when you're in much closer proximity than he expected. Panic flares in his eyes, and like the gentleman that he is, he steps back to create some distance. His head presses against the edge of the umbrella.
“Hey, you shouldn't move away!” You follow his movements, closing the gap. His head is now safely within the umbrella's reach, but you're an inch away from being pressed up against his chest. “I miscalculated. This thing's too small for us.”
When the initial shock wears off, his shoulders slump, a sign of him lowering his guard. “If you know that much, you should use it for yourself and go home.”
That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Appealing, even. You've never felt so silly in your entire life and the option to run away is looking more enticing with each second that ticks by.
Still.
“It's dangerous to walk alone at this hour. Won't you accompany me, sir?”
...Not the best excuse you could've come up with, but your mouth runs faster than your brain. Neuvillette, being the considerate person he is, actually takes some time to think about it, and you hurry to say, “If you leave me alone now, you could have another disappearance case in your hands tomorrow. Would you really like more work on your desk rather than some company tonight?”
He gives you a long, suffering stare that looks suspiciously like the one he gives to Lady Furina when she disappoints him, but he doesn't say no. His hand wraps around the umbrella handle, overlapping with your fingers. It takes another two seconds of that stare before you get the message and you let go, finally able to rest the balls of your feet on the ground as you stand on normal footing.
“I hope you don't make a hobby of coercion,” he hums as you walk together, your shoulders brushing every so often. “Or else I'd see you as a criminal suspect tomorrow instead of a victim.”
“I see that jokes aren't your strong suit, Monsieur Neuvillette.” You laugh awkwardly, your nervousness spiking to an all-time high throughout your entire interaction with him. It's been barely ten minutes.
Silence ensues.
“Do you like showers, sir?”
You should've just kept your mouth shut, damn it.
“I like them the same amount as the average person, I suppose.” The ridiculous question doesn't phase him, and you don't know how he's able to keep a straight face while saying that.
You decide to push your luck. “...Do you prefer bathing with cold or hot water?”
Finally, you draw out a light chuckle from him, the sound deep and pleased. It almost makes playing the fool worth it. “I've been told I'm not the best with small talk, but you seem to be worse than I am.”
Your head snaps up to look at him, affronted. “It wasn't a bad question!”
“Certainly not as bad as talking about the weather. Do you want me to praise you?”
Was the Chief Justice always this sassy? “You're making fun of me,” you point out the obvious, turning away and crossing your arms. “I asked about showers because you were standing in the rain.”
“You thought I liked showers because I was in the rain?”
“Well, I didn't know for sure. That's why I asked.” Even you can tell you're sounding more and more ridiculous by the minute. Was your house always this far? You can't wait to dive to your bed and pretend this encounter never happened. “I think I'll just shut up now.”
“Really, now?”
“Every time I open my mouth around you, I embarrass myself further. I think it's for the best.”
You hear another chuckle as heat crawls up to your cheeks, spreading to your ears. “For what it's worth, you did put me out of my terrible mood. You're quite funny.”
“That's a nice way to say you think I'm being strange.” You hide your face with your hands, peeking at Neuvillette's expression between your fingers. Bathed in the silvery moonlight, he looks straight out of a painting, even with wet hair and drenched clothes.
You've never seen him up close, never even dreamed of standing next to him. Now, you're exchanging jabs at each other like it's the most normal thing in the world, like you weren't just thinking he was someone out of reach when you watched his court trial in amazement. Now, he's so close that you can almost feel the heat from his body, so much more tangible than just a figure you admired from afar.
“But I do have your strangeness to thank,” he admits, looking off into the distance. The stars shine bright in his eyes. “Had it not been for you squeezing me under your umbrella and forcing me to walk you home, I'd surely still be under the rain.”
“...Couldn't you have phrased that better?”
“In court, I only state facts.”
You laugh dryly. “You could spare me some dignity by embellishing the story a bit... Oh, we're here.” You were so occupied defending yourself from his witty comments that you didn't realize you had already arrived home until your door was right at your face. You glance at Neuvillette, who then nods towards the door. If he's disappointed to have the stroll cut short, he doesn't show it.
“Go in. It is rather late.” He closes the umbrella and offers it back to you, a gentle smile on his face. The sight is almost like a reward for your efforts; the small upturn of the corners of his lips makes all the difference, his sharp, cold gaze softening into something more affectionate. The rainbow after the storm. The gratitude for a small kindness.
“You have to get home, too,” you utter, pushing it back to him.
“The rain stopped a few minutes ago,” he insists, gesturing behind him. You blink owlishly, observing the still pools of rainwater. You didn't even notice. Why didn't he say so? You didn't have to squeeze together under such a tiny umbrella, then.
“You should still keep it.”
He raises an eyebrow, inquisitive. “Why?”
You unlock your door, stepping inside, but still not closing it shut. “Well, it gives you an incentive to see me again.” You grin at him mischievously, like you thought of a genius plan. “I work at the cafe in the main street. I'm sure we have some tea that will strike your fancy. Make sure you're not moping next time we meet, yeah?”
Not for the first time, he seems taken aback. But his gaze softens once more, his expression molding into something pleased. “Very well.”
And so, he leaves with a small umbrella in his hand, a smile on his lips, and the clear skies over his head.
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The next time you see Neuvillette, the sun is high in the sky. Compared to that night, you can see him a little better now.
That's how you notice he looks unusually shy with a bouquet of flowers in his arms and a pink blush high on his cheeks. “...Good afternoon,” he starts, his lips curving to a beginning of a smile. “The weather is great today, isn't it?”
You stare. You stare some more. And when the sight finally processes in your mind, your twinkling laughter rings in the air, as sweet as the aroma of freshly baked muffins. “And who stooped so low to talk about the weather this time, huh?”
Neuvillette can't even pretend to feel bad about it, not when you're jumping off the seat in the counter to show him a table for two. “Your silliness is infectious, it seems.”
“Hey!”
(You've never taken Monsieur Neuvillette as the type to be smart-mouthed, the type to be indulgent to your whims, the type to be romantic towards the person he's interested in—
But now you have all the time in the world to get to know him better.)
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joelsmochi · 1 year ago
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Dirty Lies
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SUMMARY: Joel realized how much you matured since he last saw you 4 years ago and can’t resist you. WARNINGS: age gap [reader is 22, joel is 35], smut minors dni, no descriptions of reader aside from having shoulder length hair & having a girly sense of fashion, pervy!joel, shy-ish!joel, needy!joel, reader seduces joel. 18+ WARNINGS: infidelity if you squint (technicalities people), brief objectification, masturbation (f), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, reader was a lying little shit in high school but it paid off WC: 7.3k [please read author's note]
A/N: this was originally going to be a 15k word long smut as part of my LDR series, but........ I figured the more parts I can make out of it the more content I can produce, so here is part one of Us Against The World. Enjoy :) Edit: I’m rereading this and noticing a few typos, I apologize about those! Grammarly isn’t so helpful sometimes…
series masterlist | main masterlist
There you were in your blue tank top and yoga pants laying with your father’s dog in the middle of the front yard. You had just returned from New York a few days earlier from college, which your father amicably told Joel about over a few beers the week before.
Joel was expecting to see your 18-year-old self: long hair, sparkly eyeshadow, dressed in your late mother’s hand-me-downs from the 80s. But that was no longer you.
You dressed more modern and age-appropriate. Your hair was shorter, looked curlier, and you had highlights. Your eyebrows were thinner and your face was free from the loud makeup your teenage self was accustomed to. Joel would make jokes from time to time about how he believed you were just born with glitter all over your eyes.
Joel felt a little silly thinking you wouldn’t have changed. Who doesn’t make a drastic change when they leave high school? He hadn’t found the time to stop by and say hello but he wasn’t necessarily rushing it.
He’d met your father when you guys moved in next door in 1993 and he remembered you introduced yourself the second you saw him and Sarah playing outside despite your father’s protests.
You told Joel about how your dad was only being grumpy because he’d just turned thirty-six. Something about getting old. You didn’t bother to retain that information.
But here you were: all grown up. It reminded Joel of the day he overheard you and your best friend talking about how handsome you thought he was. He wondered if you still felt that way.
You sat up, feeling the sense that someone was watching you; your eyes scanned around until instinct made you look to the same window Joel was standing in.
For some reason, he didn’t feel embarrassed about being caught staring. He offered you an energetic smile and you took in his appearance.
He hadn’t changed much — his hair was a little longer and he had a few more fine lines across his face, but he was still the handsome man you remembered and admired.
You stand up and walk over to the window prompting him to open it.
“Hey, creep,” you teased with a big grin, “how ya been?”
Even your voice sounded different with its blend of Texas and New York. It was sultry with a hint of confidence. He tried not to let his weaknesses show.
“I’m doing all right… Sorry for starin’. Could hardly tell that was you,” he responded.
You just barely saw his eyes glance down to your chest, and it made you smirk.
Had this been any other man you’d have your fist meeting their jaw, but it wasn’t any other man. It was Joel. You hadn’t forgotten that he was attractive, but you did forget just how attractive. Or maybe his sexiness came with his age.
Not like it mattered anyways. It wasn’t like you could make a move.
“I been gettin’ that a lot… Dad tells me you’re a contractor now with Tommy.”
Joel nodded and said, “Yep, hated workin’ for other people, so…”
You were unsure if you were being awkward or if it was just… Awkward.
“Cool. Yeah, no, I get that. How is Tommy, by the way? Is he still really cute?” You giggled.
This made Joel roll his eyes. “Not cuter than me,” he answered begrudgingly. You watched how his eyes faltered again, trailing from your lips to your belly ring. “Your dad let you get that?”
You scoffed and waved your hand lazily as if you were swatting his condescending tone away. “One, Dad can’t tell me what to do with my body. And two, Tommy was always the cuter one.”
“S’that so?” Joel grunted as if he were tempted to laugh.
You gave him a cunning look and nodded. “Yeah. But you were always more handsome.”
Joel found himself blushing at the compliment, trying to wipe the redness away with his calloused palm to no avail.
You let out a quiet teetering laugh and looked back to make sure your dog was okay for a moment. “He get that dog after I left?”
Joel focused on you again and confirmed it once he noticed the dog again. “Yeah. I think your dad likes having something to take care of.”
You looked back into Joel’s eyes and bathed in them for a moment. He seemed more like himself, more certain of who he was. It made you a little sad to know how much time has passed, but maybe it was better this way.
“He was always like that. I think it started after… Well, you know.” You took a deep breath and tried to change the subject. “How’s Sarah? She still my little rockstar?”
“She’s more of a pop star, now,” he said. “She still wears that bracelet you let her have, the… The silver one.”
Your chest swelled with joy and you couldn’t contain your excitement. “Really?! Aw, man, that’s so cool. I remember I would throw a fit if I didn’t have that damn thing on.” The dog barking grabbed your attention once again. He was just barking at the mailman but settled once the worker started petting him. “Sorry!” You shouted before returning your focus to Joel. “Well, Joel it was nice seeing you. We should… Catch up. I could use some… Life advice.”
“I’m free tomorrow night if that works?” He tried to contain his excitement.
You slowly backed away, giving him one more nod and smile. “Perfect. Just come over whenever like old times.”
Joel decided to be respectful enough to not ogle over your ass as you walked away. He turned away from the window wondering how the hell he was going to get over this… Crush?
Is that what this was? A crush?
He decided to not torture himself with his intrusive thoughts.
“Hey, kid,” Joel greeted. You rolled your eyes at the nickname but greeted him back. He entered the backyard slowly trying to get a feel for the mood. He sat next to you in the extra papasan chair and snatched your beer out of your hands. You glared at him, unable to hold it for long when he shot you that infamous smile. “Everything all right?”
He tasted your strawberry chapstick around the rim of the glass and let the taste linger on his tongue. His eyes fell to your lips as he thought about how the chapstick would taste coming straight from you. Raw and unfiltered.
You held your breath, wishing you had enough courage to ask your father these questions. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust your father, you just wanted an opinion from an outside perspective. You were hoping Joel wasn’t as inclined to protect or embarrass you as much as your dad.
“There’s this guy I’ve been dating for a few months now… I…” You sigh frustratedly with the tension surrounding the question meanwhile Joel grew tense and jealous? He asked himself why that was the way he felt about you having a boyfriend.
You apprehensively said, “We had sex a few times before I left and it wasn’t…good.”
“Okay?” Joel asked as a way to tell you to keep going.
“How should I go about telling a guy that?”
He cleared his throat uncertain of how to answer your question. He didn’t want his newly discovered feelings to cloud his judgment as the chances of you two becoming a thing were slim to none. He wouldn’t want to sabotage you or your relationships. Especially when you trusted him enough to ask such a burdening question.
Joel accepted the awkwardness of the topic and put it aside. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. “Well, have you tried suggesting things that he can do to make you—it feel good?” He asked.
“Yeah, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s me,” you admitted.
“Does he do the things you ask him to?”
“Kinda?” Your cheeks flushed and your eyebrows furrowed tightly.
He gave you a look that said come on now.
“He like… Does half of it?” You could just die of embarrassment right now.
“Wh—? How does he do half of it?”
You groaned obnoxiously and chugged some more beer. “I don’t know?! He does what I ask for like five minutes and then just does what he’s used to I guess.” He watched you poke your bottom lip out to pout as you stared into the glass bottle. “I really like him, Joel.”
“Does he like you?”
“Well, yeah,” you said as if it were obvious. “Fuck is that supposed to mean?”
He inhaled sharply through his teeth and stole your beer bottle again. “All I will say is that a man that truly likes you would try harder, especially during sex, and especially if you’ve told him how he could make you feel good.”
“So… What do I do?”
“Do you think he likes you?” He asked again. “Think about it for a second. What does he do for you?”
“Well, he…” Your voice trailed off into silence as your mind went blank. Surely this guy did something for you to make you like him, right? But anything that did happen to come to mind was the bare minimum. You didn’t want to give Joel the satisfaction, so you said, “I think it could work.”
“Who’re trying to convince? Me or yourself?” He saw the frustration on your face and propped a finger below your chin to make you look at him. “If a guy really likes you, sweetheart, you wouldn’t have to ask more than once,” was all he said after he took a sip of your beer.
“What do you mean?”
Joel’s sigh almost sounded irritated. “I mean… A guy that truly likes you and deserves you won’t make you suffer through sex. A real man’ll take care a’you.”
“A real man, huh?” You bantered.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Like you?”
“I’d like to think so.”
“Do you like me?”
Why the fuck did I ask him that?! You thought as soon as the words left your mouth.
Joel didn’t couldn’t answer right away. His voice just stumbled over his tongue and out of his mouth.
“I think you’re a sweet girl,” he finally said, “and you’re smart enough to know who’s worthy of your time and attention. Doesn’t sound like it’s him.”
You couldn’t defeat the growing smirk on your face as he fought the urge to look over your body. He wasn’t so good at hiding it.
You turned your body in the chair slightly and dauntingly lifted your leg to touch your bare toes against his calf. You watched his breath get caught in his throat and your mouth fell open in awe at how easy it was to get him riled up.
He looked at the ground, not moving a single inch of his body. He was overwhelmed by your confidence.
The amount of attention Joel’s given you in the last ten minutes already seemed to surpass the attention your “boyfriend” (can you even call him that?) had given you.
Your foot trailed up Joel’s leg before you rested it upon his knee; Joel’s eyes screwed shut as if he were praying to not get caught like this, but your voice brought his gaze back to you.
“You didn’t answer my question, Joel,” you whispered seductively. Your foot left his leg and you got on your knees in the chair, then you leaned forward, hands around the rim of his own seat, and leaned in devilishly close to his face. “Do you like me?”
He swallowed hard, his fingertips turning white as they pressed into the bottle.
His lack of an answer caused an impatience to grow inside you. You leaned in even closer and strengthened your eye contact with him. Your fingers absentmindedly trailed over his knee to the midpoint of his clad thigh.
His spine shivered and his arms grew goosebumps. “Why don’t you have this attitude with your boyfriend?” He asked lowly in a poor attempt to further evade answering you.
You snickered and looked over his beer-covered lips, craving to taste them. “If I’m being honest he’s technically not my boyfriend… You’re tellin’ me things about men and how they should act. It’s making me feel like… He just can’t handle me.”
He smirked at you, fighting the way his body pleaded to touch yours. “If that’s the case then, sweetheart, I don’t think he’s the one for you.”
“Oh?” You got even closer, your nose touched his and you heard him choke on his breath. “Do you think you could handle me?”
He chuckled rashly and straightened his posture, now sensing you tense up. “I could,” he confidently confessed. “But this ain’t right, sweetheart.”
“Please,” you scoff, “you can’t keep your eyes off of me.”
“If you keep actin’ like a spoiled brat you won’t be able to keep my hands off of you.”
“Maybe that’s what I want,” you retorted, a cocky essence in your eyes.
“That so?”
“Maybe you can show me how a real man should be taking care of me.”
Joel had to stop himself from speaking as it would have potentially led to consequences. His flustered cheeks and wide lustful eyes created a hunger you’d never felt before.
However, you wanted Joel to earn it. Push him to the point of begging for just a taste of you. You needed to know if he craved you. Something you longed for from other men that just could not deliver.
You hovered your agape lips over his so dangerously it tickled his nerves. You gave him a soft kiss on the cheek then sat back in your original position.
Joel was both relieved and disappointed with the kiss. Relieved it didn’t end up with his head buried between your thighs, and at the same time disappointed that it didn’t.
For the next few days, you settled into your room as best as you could and got everything how you wanted it to be. Well, almost. You wanted a shelf to go over your closet so that you could display your most prized possessions.
When the idea sparked in your head you remembered that your dad said he was going to be gone for most of the day. You figured you could hold off for one more day. That was until you heard some power tools and heavy grunting from beyond your window.
Joel.
Joel had followed your lead as best as he could and you had to admit that the lack of physical contact was making it harder to resist him.
You felt a bit strange, however. After all, this is Joel. Sweet, caring, next-door neighbor Joel. You and your friends had a crush on him and his brother, Tommy, sure, but this wasn’t that. And you surely weren’t a child anymore. But still, you couldn’t help but think of how strange the dynamic is.
It wasn’t enough to stop you from taking your sweatpants off and changing out of your t-shirt into a stretchy tank top. You poked your head out of your window and shouted Joel’s name a few times until you successfully got his attention.
“Hey!” You said with a proud smile.
“Hey, kid!” He shouted back.
“Can you build a shelf for me? I wanted to get my room done today, but my old man’s gone!”
“Right now?” He tried to seem indifferent.
You just smiled harder and motioned for him to come over. “Please?!”
He huffed and looked at his half-done project, ultimately deciding to help you instead. The sooner he helps you the sooner he could create distance, he figured. Though deep down he knew that wasn’t the real reason.
You patter downstairs to unlock the door for him. He could see from the corners of his eyes that you were half naked, only in white panties and your top.
“Couldn’t a’put pants on?” He asked grumpily as he walked past you, not giving you the satisfaction of staring. You shut and lock the door before guiding him upstairs.
“Yeah, but I figured since you were doing the job for free I could at least give you something to look at,” you flirted. He didn’t even bother trying to stop you.
“What d’ya need done exactly?” He asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
“I want those shelves to hang over my closet right… Here. I have a power drill here already, I just couldn’t figure out how to get it.”
He was doing a decent job at keeping his eyes anywhere but on your body, but in his mind he had already taken your clothes off and fucked you against the wall.
“S’alright, I can get it for ya,” he said while giving you an earnest look.
“What?” You asked after a moment of silence.
“Nothing,” he answered with a shrug and a smirk. You lightly smack his arm and plop down on your bed.
You lay on your stomach and flipped through a fashion magazine, occasionally smelling some of the perfume samples. You snuck glances at Joel’s broad back as he made sure everything could be lined up, smiling to yourself at how efficiently he worked.
“How’s your boyfriend?” Joel randomly asked after about ten minutes. You looked at him through your eyelashes as he peaked over his shoulder. 
You stifled your laugh and began looking at the magazine again before answering him. “He actually ended things with me two days ago. But like I said, he technically wasn’t my boyfriend. He never asked.”
“Oh… You doing okay? Seemed like you really liked him.”
“I like someone else more,” was all you said. Joel took a second, then just nodded even though you weren’t looking at him anymore.
“This someone have a name?” He asked after a few more moments of silence.
Joel’s internal conflict was teetering between giving in and giving up. He wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to you, but that’s what fueled his filthy thoughts even more.
“Yep, he sure does.”
Your tone was the exact opposite of what you were feeling. You felt hot and desperate, but you (almost) fooled him by sounding bored. He didn’t want to give into your childish game of beating around the bush, so he kept his mouth shut and began hammering a nail into the wall.
Suddenly you had an idea. An awfully sinister one.
You tossed the magazine on your nightstand and sat up in the bed, leaning into a few pillows and angling yourself so that Joel could get the perfect view if he dared to look.
Your hands traced uneven lines and patterns over your clad breasts and you gasped softly at your nipples perking up quickly. He couldn’t hear you over his hammering.
You rid yourself of your wet panties, kicking them to the edge of the bed. You spread your legs and began working big and slow circles over your sensitive clit. You used your free hand to pinch your nipple over your shirt, the combination of stimuli making you give a more audible moan.
Joel didn’t think much of it at first — he figured you were moving around on the bed to get more comfortable. So when the next moan came and he stopped his work to look at you he was taken aback, to say the least.
He said your name, but you shook your head in protest. “Is this okay?” You asked, innocence spreading across your face.
He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe.
“Joel?” You snapped him out of his daze. “S’this okay?”
He nodded and watched your trembling hands dip down into your glistening slit, collecting your wetness and coating it over your clit. Your body was stiff with anticipation, watching him watch you.
He took in all of your beauty like the way your eyes fluttered halfway shut and how you bit your plump lip to quiet your mewls. One hand cupped your breast so gently and the other rubbing steady, taunting circles over your sensitive bud. He watched the way you pleased yourself and let this picture of you engrave itself into his memory.
One day, Joel thought, I’d be able to make her feel as good as she makes herself feel.
He ignored the hardening of his cock pressing against his jeans, not caring enough to touch himself if it meant he didn’t get to feel you. He found the situation quite sexy and the lack of physical contact made him feel good.
You were showing him that he didn’t need to touch you or talk to you. He didn’t need to do a damn thing. All he needed to do was stand there and let you look at him.
Your moans were quiet and soft, barely heard by him. You squeezed your nipple harshly and jolted at the shock of electricity it sent throughout your body, your eyes screwing shut and your legs curling up into an almost fetal position at the feeling.
He saw you swallow the lump in your throat as you looked into his eyes again, soon scanning over his body and imagining how he would feel on top of you. The imagination was more than enough to get you going.
You imagined he felt strong and heavy above you, trapping you with his burly arms and using his lean thighs to keep your legs open for him as he rolled his hips to meet yours.
You absentmindedly curled your middle and ring finger into your creamy pussy, chasing after the feeling of being stretched out by Joel. Your pussy effortlessly squelched as your discharge poured out of you like a waterfall, coating your plump ass cheeks in your juices.
You got a bit louder but remained mindful of the open windows just a few feet away. You watched the movement in his jeans from his cock that twitched, longing for just some fucking relief. But he didn’t move, he didn’t even adjust his pants. He wanted you to know that you were the one in charge and that he was willing to suffer just for you.
“Joel,” you breathed out in between helpless murmurs.
He almost caved at how sweetly you said his name like you were asking for help. You reached even further into your sex, pressing into your sweet spot carefully. You pretended it was him.
Allowing your eyes to shut and your mouth to open, your mind dove deeper into the fantasies of Joel. You imagined him fucking you slowly, steady enough to not make your bed squeak too loud. Your fingers followed your mind, bumping against your g-spot the same way you wanted him to: carefully, yet forceful.
Joel felt awkward just standing there watching you, but you looked so beautiful. Sprawled out just for him with your fingers dipping into your sopping cunt as if you were made just for him. He saw your shoulders twitch and a hiss escaped your lips.
A ripple of ecstasy shocked your nerves, your walls tighten around your fingers, and your clit tensed up with a tickling sensation.
Your face twisted from the overwhelming feeling that began to encapsulate you from your core to your mind. Your moans became shallow and louder. Your clit throbbing beneath your palm motivated your to work your fingers faster. You fucked yourself with more desire than you had before, still twisting your perky nipple between your other fingers.
You were a lot more gentle with yourself than Joel would have expected. You took your time, didn’t overwhelm yourself.
He knew he loved it when the ever-growing pressure inside of you burst into a million flames throughout your trembling body. He saw that the slower you were with yourself the more intense the orgasm was.
He accidentally groaned at the sight of you: clinging to your bedsheet with the very hand that toyed with your breast, eyes refusing to open from the immense pleasure soaring through your veins, curling up into a ball because your body couldn’t comprehend just how good you were feeling.
He noticed how your cum gushed around and below your fingers creating a wet spot on your blanket. He carefully watched as you opened your eyes, still slowly fingering yourself. You continued to feel your orgasm, exploring how much of it you could endure.
You moved your free hand to your clit and rubbed tiny and fast circles around it. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you refused to moan anything but his name.
You shoved your fingers deep inside of you to press against your g-spot relentlessly. Your toes curled at the mix of pleasure.
You knew your orgasm was coming back more powerful than before already, and you braced yourself when your walls flexed against your fingers basically forcing them out; you chewed hard on your lip and laid your stiff fingers flat against your clit to rub from side to side at the arrival of your squirt. You squealed behind your swollen lip and let your squirt splash everywhere.
Joel palmed his rock-hard cock for some relief as he watched in awe at how you came for him. You looked so fucking delicious soaking yourself in your juices. His heart punched against his chest and his mind nearly blank, only filled with you.
Your lips formed an ‘o’ shape as you eased up on your clit. You let out sweet hums of bliss and you opened your eyes again, carefully analyzing his body language.
He practically reeked of inferiority. He was your marionette, your toy, whatever you wanted him to be. He didn’t recognize you in the best way possible. You were an unwrapped present that he couldn’t wait to open and play with. Your confidence grew at his puppy eyes that were low and dark, filled with a need to serve you.
Your fingers collected some of the creamy nectar between your folds before you brought it to your mouth and darted your wet tongue out to taste it.
You never broke eye contact once, observing how his body shuddered at the filthy action. His breath was heavy, his chest heaved in anticipation. You stuck your fingers inside of your mouth moaning at the salty goodness coating every single taste bud.
It wasn’t until your fingers dropped back down to your side and you gave him a shit-eating grin that he finally looked away, sighing loudly.
He felt ashamed of himself.
He’d known you since you were a child.
How could he ever look you in the eye again?
How could he ever look your father in the eye again?
You slipped your panties on again while he wasn’t looking and just grabbed your magazine, flipping through the pages again like nothing ever happened though the wet spot on your bed clearly said otherwise.
When Joel saw you had returned to your previous activities he did the same. Drilling and hammering your shelves onto the wall like nothing fucking happened.
“Here you go sir, you have a lovely day,” you chirped at the customer as you handed him his food waiting until he left. You turned around to straighten up the counter behind you when the bell on the door jingled. “Hello, give me just one moment and I’ll be with you!”
You gave the counter a lazy wipe with the wet washcloth before tossing it into the sink nearby and turning around, being met with a smirking Joel.
“My, my, you working at a burger joint? Never thought I’d see the day,” he teased.
You made a face and told him to shut up. You tried not to notice the sheer layer of sweat that coated his partially exposed chest. “What can I get you, sir?”
His face contorted with arrogance and he placed a hand over his chest. “Sir? You callin’ me sir now? Oh, you are just too cute.”
With a roll of your eyes, you huffed out a stream of air, waiting for him to stop fucking with you.
“Okay, okay,” he laughed, dropping the act. “Can I get a burger and some fries?”
“You don’t want a drink?” You asked before writing his order down quickly and sliding it through the kitchen window.
“Are you tryin’a make me tip you more?”
You shrugged. “Nah, it’s just that the cola here is really good.”
“Mmm,” he hummed as if he didn’t believe you.
“If you want a cola I’ll make it extra cold for you,” you whispered as if you were telling him a dirty secret.
“Mhm, okay. Fine, I’ll take your word for it. Gon’ and get it f’me then.”
“You can ask that a little nicer,” you scoffed. You walked off, breathing in a gust of smoke on your way to the soda machine. “F’here or to-go?!” You shouted.
“Mm, I was gonna get it to go, but I think I’ll stay and keep you company.”
You could just hear the smile in his voice.
“Awe, how thoughtful of you,” you bantered before rinsing out a clean cup and filling it with ice. The cook called out the order was ready and you thanked him before finishing up with Joel’s drink. You grabbed the tray and walked over to the end of the counter where the stools sat, setting the food in front of Joel with a weak smile.
He watched you closely as you leaned onto your elbows waiting for him to try his food.
“What r’ya doing workin’ in a restaurant? Didn’t you graduate for like… Fashion or some shit?” Joel asked, unable to keep his smile down at how pretty you looked in your uniform: a teal skirt and a mustard yellow shirt, but so, so tacky. You hated the fucking outfit, it was everything you would never wear, but Joel thought you made it look good.
“I did,” you confirmed, “but I wanted a humbling job before I truly entered the world of fashion.”
Joel’s thick and somewhat dirty fingers unraveled his greasy burger after he dumped the fries out chaotically. He took an unnecessarily big bite, not seeing how your eyes watched the trail of juice trickle down the corner of his mouth to his chin before he swept it set with his thumb.
“Humbling, hmm?” He questioned before swallowing his barely chewed bite. “You’re a wise girl, you know?”
“So I’ve been told,” you smugly replied. You stole a fry off of his tray and smiled at his frowning face while eating it before washing it down with his fizzling soda. “Best drink that ‘fore it goes flat.”
You walked away momentarily to help a customer that just walked in; she only wanted a dollar milkshake so you told her not to worry about paying. You took a dollar and some change from your tip pocket and put it in the register before grabbing a styrofoam cup and packing her cup.
Joel noticed halfway through you making the shake that whenever you tapped the bottom of the cup against the counter your breast jiggled against your arm. He felt the lady nearby staring at him so he turned his head just enough to see the mix of disgust and concern on her face.
If only she knew how filthy you were for him just last week…
He didn’t care enough to stop though, he just went back to looking at how your clothes hugged your body.
You finished up her shake and popped a lid on it before grabbing a straw and walking back to give it to her.
Joel heard the lady ask if you were okay, and he promptly rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and tried his best to not laugh. You were confused by her question, simply nodding your head and saying, “Yeah?”
She looked at Joel once more, choosing not to say another word before leaving.
“Fuck was that about?” You asked, watching her walk away.
“She saw me starin’ at your tits,” he said between obnoxious bites. “If only she saw—“
Your eyes widened. “Do not finish that sentence.”
“Whatever you say, doll,” he teased before taking another bite.
You pretended to be grossed out by seeing the chewed-up food in his mouth as he spoke, swatting his hand gently. “You’re so gross.”
“You love me,” he quipped with a simper. He took a sip of his drink, humming at how refreshing it felt. “This is good,” he told you.
“Told ya.”
“What time are you out?”
You looked at the door when your manager came in, apologizing for taking longer than she expected.
“You’re fine, it’s a slow day,” you told her as she walked to her office. You looked at Joel and slammed your book and pen on the counter near the register. “I’m out now. Why?”
“Your dad asked me to pick you up.”
You felt a rush of worry. “Why? Is he okay?”
“Yeah, honey, everything’s fine. He forgot about pickin’ you up today and got drunk with his buddies and called me—well, he called Tommy. Said he wouldn’t be back home ‘til tomorrow.”
You raised an eyebrow at the mention of his brother’s name. “Oh? Well, why isn’t Tommy here?” You strutted around the counter and stood next to Joel as he inhaled the last of his food.
“Think you know why,” he grunted.
Anxiety pang inside of your chest, but you convinced yourself it was excitement. You were hoping that he wanted to get you alone somewhere and fuck you into the next week.
But you didn’t want to seem desperate. You kept a straight face, waiting for your boss to come back out before getting your things and punching out.
You followed Joel to his Chevy and thanked him when he opened the door for you. He huffed when by the time he got inside the car himself you were already flipping through his book of CDs.
“I got a good one in already—“
“Is it The Writing’s On the Wall by Destiny’s Child?” You interrupted after you found said CD.
“No, b—“
“Then it’s not what I want to listen to.”
Joel endured your (arguably bad) singing for the ten-minute ride back to your house. He thought about a few things in that ten minutes:
-Sarah wasn’t home, so he didn’t need to worry about food (or getting caught), so this time was optimal to make a move on you.
-If he were to make a move on you, then you two wouldn’t get caught.
-If he were to make a move on you, how exactly would he do it?
Once he arrived in his driveway, you both stepped out of the car and he walked over to your side.
“You not working tonight?” You asked.
“No, we finished early.”
You looked at him with lush eyes and bit the inside of your mouth, a flirty smile coaxing your lips. He looked hopeful for something, anything.
“I was just gonna watch TV all night,” you started, “and maybe make some dinner. I know you just ate, but you and Sarah are welcome to come over.”
“Sarah’s at a friend’s tonight, doing some studying,” he answered. His voice trailed off as if he weren’t finished speaking his thought aloud, but you picked up where he reluctantly left off.
“Do you want to come over, then? Just you?”
He looked around the quiet neighborhood as if he had to think about what he wanted. “Uh, yeah, sure.”
You lead him to your house, kicking your shoes off at the door and he followed. He felt unsure of his decision. He wondered if this night would play out platonically and just be filled with conversation and dinner, or if this was truly the beginning of a secret he’d have to keep forever.
“Spaghetti okay?” You asked him once you both entered the kitchen, decorated with oranges and reds, and yellows, reminiscent of your late mother. You tossed your half apron on the island before making your way to the refrigerator.
You heard his feet patter on the linoleum quickly but before you could turn around on your own Joel did it, pinning your back against the refrigerator and knocking down some of the bottles inside of it.
You gasped when his fingers peacock over the outsides of your thighs, gripping at the hem as a means to pace himself.
His eyes were bright yet lustful as his proximity alone sucked the air out of your lungs. Your chests heaving against each other’s created the only other physical contact you had with him.
He then dropped to his knees before you got the chance to speak; his calloused hands rose beneath your skirt, hiking it up enough for him to pull your wet panties down to your ankles. You stepped out of them for him and he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder before meeting his mouth to your clit tongue first.
You moaned at how he just dove into it, not bothering with kissing or easing you into it. Your digits laced through his messy curls while his tongue coated itself in your juices.
His tongue did crazy laps around your clit and he smacked a couple of firm kisses in between his licks. You tried to watch his work but your stupid fucking skirt was in the way. You settled, however when his eyes opened, the only visible part of him from your view.
You tasted so good to him, he tasted your day of work mixed in with your salty precum and he couldn’t get enough of it. He moaned when you tugged at his hair, burying his face as deep as he could and closing his eyes.
You let out a stream of obscenities while using your calf to push into his back, afraid that if you didn’t hold on tight enough he’d vanish.
He wrote out his full name over your clit like he was casting a spell that anything you or someone else touched you there you would only think about him.
You were amazed at how good he was eating you out — you didn’t think he’d be bad. You just didn’t know it could feel this good. It was like you felt him touching and kissing and licking all over your body, swimming in an endless pool of dissolution.
His touch was decadent through remembering how careful you were with yourself. He wanted to cater to you and to make you feel as good as you made yourself. And on top of that, he just really wanted to eat your pussy.
Savor it.
Taste it.
Drink you until you fucking ran dry and begged him to stop.
Nothing could have torn his lips away from your pussy. Hell, someone could have walked in and he’d still keep going.
“Joel,” you gasped, throwing your head back and grinding on his face.
He loudly moaned, tightening his grip around your thighs and wagging his head furiously from side to side to provide more stimulation.
Your hips bucked into his face roughly and you screeched, pulling even tighter on his hair.
“Joel, oh—fu-fuck!”
He smirked and pulled at the skirt to unveil his eyes again. His dick angered in his jeans, but he ignored it. He’d much rather focus on the way you writhed from his touch. Your panting growing heavier fueled his already intense movements. He began to suck while still shaking his head earning another screech from you.
You never felt out of control with how loud you were before. Every motion sent a million shockwaves throughout your body. You always did a good job at keeping quiet enough so that the neighbors wouldn’t hear, but fucking hell was Joel the one to break that evergreen streak.
You felt his hot breath collide with the fluids coating your sex and his nails leave indents on your flesh.
His tongue darted out to collect a stream of your cum, but his nose butted against your clit as he continued shaking his head making your hips buck once more. Then he realized… He got to stimulate your sensitive bud and lick between your folds.
He loved it.
Your moans became more distressed and uneven; he felt you chasing that high. He wanted you to cum so fucking badly. To let all of your pent-up cum pour over him.
You held the back of his head gently and he angled it just right enough for you to ride his face.
“Use my fucking face,” he moaned loud enough between your legs for you to hear. “Use my fucking face to cum.”
Your body gave in finally at his hoarse voice; your hops sped up, still using his nose and lips to overstimulate yourself. The orgasm was forceful, your moans strident.
Joel felt a pool of your cum leak out and drip down his chin onto his neck. He watched you crumble and curl into him and he was attentive enough to hold you steady while your balance dissipated.
Your head was dizzy and your vision blurred. You slowly halted your movements and just stood there being held by him while he placed light, but loving kisses along your dripping cunt.
He finally pulled his face out from underneath your skirt and carefully put your leg down before standing. He tucked some loose hairs back or behind your ears, then caressed your cheek and gave you a peck.
You wiped some of your cum off of his wet chin with your thumb and held it up to his mouth which he gladly sucked on. He grinned at you afterward and fixed your skirt for you.
The silence was soothing because frankly, neither of you knew what to say. It left you speechless, but that could just be the aftereffect of your climax.
The night was beginning to close in sooner than either of you wanted it to. You two just talked, truly catching up on the past four years. He was a lot funnier than you remembered, your cheeks were aching from how much he was making you laugh.
"You are a real gentleman, Joel Miller. What can I say? Dinner and an orgasm?!"
He lifted you up from your spot on the couch and pulled you into his lap so that you were straddling him. "I don't have to be," he murmured against your lips. His fingers flexed into your feverish skin, holding you upright and close by. He chased you with his lips until you finally let him kiss you. "Be honest with me... Did you really think I was handsome in high school?"
Your face grew warm and you hid behind your hands in embarrassment. "Oh, my God."
"Why are you actin' all shy now?"
"Because you weren’t supposed to know about that."
"Know about what exactly?"
You crossed your arms, deciding to let him win this time. "You want details?"
He smirked and leaned back to get more comfortable.
"Well... I used to lie and tell my friends that we fucked," you admitted.
"Really?" Despite his surprise the smirk never left his face. If anything it grew wider.
You sheepishly nodded. "I used to tell them how good you were. Everything you would do to me."
"What would I do to you?" His cock was already throbbing against his jeans, and just like every other time, he ignored it.
"You would fuck me up against the wall," you explained. "Sometimes, you would bend me over the edge of the bed and spank me for being naughty. Or just 'cause you felt like it. I'd even tell them about how you played with my ass so gently because you didn't want to hurt me."
Every word went straight to his dick, making it jerk and prod your thigh.
"Maybe I do need to bend you over and spank you for all that lyin' you were doin'. Your friends probably think I'm some creep now," he said; his tone wasn’t scolding or cold. He sounded thirsty for more of you. Like his throat had already run dry despite how much of you he drank earlier.
"I'd tell them the truth, but if I were to do that now then I'd be lying again," you whispered against his lips.
"We certainly cannot have you spreadin' no more dirty lies, now. Can we?"
-
Read Part 2 here.
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lilacgaby · 29 days ago
Text
‧₊˚ to kiss or kill.. a vampire?‧₊˚
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you've been a vampire for as long as you can remember. you were going through your day, or night, routine as normal when a noise startles you. a man, katsuki bakugo to be exact, was standing at your door. though, he can't seem to remember whether he's supposed to kill or kiss you...
★pair. knight(?)katsuki x vampire!reader. tags. fem!reader, fantasy!au, vampire!au, amnesia trope, memories, kissing, hugging, dates kinda, blood, daggers, stakes. wc. 2k.
noteღ. i love the memory loss trope but its hard to write it in a way that doesn't seem like lazy(???) idk how to say it, also happy halloween to all who celebrate!
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embedded deep in the forest, vines growing over the bark of the trees, the sun not visible from the impressive manor you called home.
a lake so deep you couldn't see the bottom, the moonlight the only thing reflecting off the darkness of the water.
it was quiet, quaint. only the animals as company for such a faraway place.
you roamed freely around your garden, tending to the black rose bushes and cutting the thorns to an appropriate length. feeding carrots you only grew for the deer and bunnies that had grown used to your presence, seeing the generations of them rest and birth, a consequence of being immortal.
your outfit was dark, camouflaging you against the night sky, the only time you were able to go out. you'd grown used to it, comforted by the night sky and sleeping critters around you.
but a crunch of grass snapped you out of your relaxation. the tuft of blond hair you'd spotted alarming you.
your pot of water was now splashed onto the floor, your red eyes were widened and pupils like a cat as you moved out of vision. vision of whoever was trampling into your long uncivilized manor.
it was a man, donning expensive yet ripped up fabrics and cloths, a beaten up satchel, and bright hair that stood out against the night sky.
you couldn't help but notice though, that he had red eyes just like yours.
he must be a vampire, you reasoned, moving closer to investigate the man who was unmoving at your door. you popped out from behind him. “who are you and why are you here?”
he jumped, seemingly not expecting you to be behind him. “i'm.. lost. i can't seem to find my way. or.. remember what i was doing here.” he turned to face you, his figure towering over yours, his eyes on you. “you don't remember anything? is it possible that you've been hit with a strong spell?”
you kept talking while looking over at his complete attire now, noting the royal emblem on his chest.
“it's possible.. i don't remember what i do exactly.” his red eyes kept boring into you, striking you with a sense of familiarity, though you couldn't place from where. “well, you can stay here for the night. i have spare rooms.”
his eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows raising. “really, you're inviting me in? what if i was a vampire?”
“well, no need to fear one of my own.”
his mouth went agape when he realized. “you're a vampire.”
“yes. does that change anything?”
“i.. guess not.” a hand went to the back of his neck, his eyes averting as he looked up in thought. “it's just surprising. i think.. i feel a connection to the word. to its meaning. i must have been- sorry be- a vampire. don't you agree?”
“let's talk more inside. if you are a vampire as you believe, we'll die if we're outside another hour...” you left it open ended as to ask for his name.
“katsuki. call me katsuki.”
“well katsuki. welcome in, don't suck my blood or something.” you joked.
as he followed you inside, he awed internally at the extravagance of your mansion. it definitely was the home of a vampire, as all the windows were closed and barricaded.
“i haven't had many guests over for a while.. so. excuse the mess.” he followed you as you showed him the different parts of your home. he passed by the kitchen, so gorgeous that he felt upset when you noted how you only used it to make food for the animals outside. you showed him your bedroom, which only housed a single, heavily padded coffin.
you went upstairs finally, your mansion was huge so he began to notice the ache in his feet. when you arrived in your lounge area though, he felt a pang in his head as he eyed a dagger. a silver one.
memories flooded into his head at once, making him hold his head in discomfort.
words. so many replayed in his mind though they were incoherent. sights of blood, of one of those very daggers in his hand, a stake in the other.
“ėřīdɯǎʌ ħ ʇ ľļ ʞ”
he couldn't understand it at all, the visions in his mind were playing and flashing right after another.
training, studying vitals, the word vampire. why did it seem so familiar?
“katsuki. are you okay?” your hands were on his shoulders now, your face of concern went unnoticed by him, his eyes were only laser focused on the sharp fangs of your mouth.
“i–. i– um. i don't know what the fuck happened to me.” he admitted, he still felt weak from the confusion revelations that had unfolded in his mind.
“maybe.. you should head to bed for the day. i have a bed for you in here.”
you took his hand, he almost pulled away, he didn't know why it still felt so bloody. why it felt like he was holding an unseen weapon in his palm. but he let you comfort him slightly anyways.
you laid a towel onto his forehead, closing the door with a, “goodnight.”
you left him resting with his thoughts as you continued your chores outside.
it was obvious he wasn't a vampire like he thought. he wasn't nocturnal like you. the sight of the blood bags you had left cooling in a safe him feel queasy, and he could touch metal just fine. he found himself tracing the details of the dagger in your living room mindlessly, enthralled with it. it felt just as familiar as your eyes did. he was sure it would feel just as right in his hand, he moved to pick it up when-
“what are you doing?” you asked sleepily. your attire from yesterday was gone, replaced with casual clothes that didn't seem to fit you. “..i just got curious.”
he stared at you. the crimson of his eyes confusing you to no end, but you let it go with a sigh. “well, stop messing with that stuff. like seriously.”
he took your warning. but the strange memories never went away. though, he noticed that they'd only really pop up around you.
he'd gotten to know you in the couple hours of the first day he spent with you. your favorite color, food before you turned, your true age, your favorite flower.
and you'd gotten to know the vague things he remembered about himself in exchange. how he grew up in a village, how he remembers training hard everyday to become a knight, how he grew up with the next in line for the throne.
you'd traveled around the forest with him, showing him some of your favorite spots. pointing to nearby towns and taverns, warning him to stay away from spots where werewolves would roam frequently.
you'd gotten him a new wardrobe of clothing that happened to match yours. black button downs and slacks with red accents, something that suited him perfectly, was what you had gifted him.
he tried to gift you things as well. it was unfortunate that his gift for cuisine went wasted on you, who couldn't eat food. he picked you flowers from different regions of the forest you wouldn't venture to. dandelions that he insisted you'd blow out together, red roses that paired perfectly with your black ones, and baby’s breath sprinkled tastefully in between.
the words grew less scrambled over the days of which he spent with you. it'd been a month of living with him at this point, and your life together had become routine. the pangs where he'd keel over for seconds in real time, but hours in his mind happened more frequently too. the same visions of blood on his hands, a dagger identical to the one displayed in your home would always be there. but additions of a torch in his hand and a dagger would change. the memory would change, which confused him.
he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the calm nature of your life together. the tranquil feeling of feeding the bunnies and deers alongside you, the rushing sound of the lake as you sat side by side admiring it.
the feeling of your skin, cold to the touch, on his body that seemed to run too hot.
your open-minded nature, the lingering loss of your presence he'd feel when you were gone.
though, he now could hear some parts of the sentence quite clearly.
“k– the vampire.”
as he laid around on one of the many couches of your manor, petting a black cat, he pondered on what the last word could be. he knew it could only be one of two words, he wasn't dumb.
to kiss or to kill. but what reason was he given to kill you? you'd been nothing but amazing to him, welcome and open when he was vulnerable. the only thing you'd been strange about– the only thing he felt he wanted.
was to hold the dagger in his hand.
he laid the cat onto the side of the couch before standing up. it was like an invisible force was leading him away, taking him right to his object of interest that he had been so hyper aware of since the day he arrived.
every step he took was like a piece of the puzzle being put into place.
he was hit by a memory loss potion while he was out on patrol.
patrol for the kingdom, where he served as a knight. however, after many vampire hunters had gone missing in this part of the forest..
he had been sent out here.
he opened his satchel that he'd thrown into the corner. affirming his thoughts, a dagger, identical to the one on the stand was in it.
next to it was a stake, and a torch with an ignition next to that.
he stood up, the final words given to him. but it didn't feel as good as he thought it would.
“kill the vampire.”
because the order was to hurt someone who'd grown so dear to him.
was it wrong for him to continue acting like nothing was wrong? maybe. but he couldn't help but still continue to be enamored by you, even if it was wrong.
the stereotypes, the horror stories he'd been fed of vampires. as he held you close to him in the comfort of your coffin, he didn't know what to do anymore.
as he guided you to the lake, he wasn't sure of what he would do. he had his satchel with him now, yet he still held your hand in his.
“are you leaving?” you asked, unknowing of the war taking place in his mind.
“no. i just, wanted to bring it along.”
“oh. okay.” you'd shrugged, unfazed by his words. he felt his heart bleed, bleed because you trusted him so much, but also tugged towards his sense of duty.
you'd sat together again, his body facing the same lake that had guided him to you. he felt your gaze on his face, he squeezed his palm into a fist.
“what's wrong?” you asked, your voice low, you held the long sleeves of your black outfit as your eyebrows scrunched in concern. “you've been acting weird.”
“i.. my memory. it came back.”
your eyes shot up, before a small smile came over your face. “really, that's great katsuki. so,
what were you doing out here?”
the words lingered in the air, his eye painstakingly moving to look at you. his mouth was held open for a second, seemingly speechless as he tried to tell you. he finally, just let it slip. “i was supposed to kill you, [name].”
you stilled, he continued to explain. “it all happened once i saw the dagger. it eyed me, and i eyed it. it seemed so familiar, your eyes did too. until it all came back.” he took a sharp breath and continued.
“men, vampire hunters of the kingdom specifically, went missing around these parts. i was sent here to find the vampire and kill them. but i was ambushed along the way by a witch who hit me with a spell.” his hand moved to his satchel, you stayed unmoving as you absorbed his words.
he held the stake and dagger in his hands respectively, the materials that would kill you if pierced glistening ominously in the moonlight. the same moonlight that encapsulated you two.
“i thought it over. a lot. thought about what i wanted, no. what i thought was right.” he gripped them tightly, holding them up.
you closed your eyes, as you heard the words, “goodbye.”
but death, the feeling of wood piercing your heart never came. the splash of the water was the only sound heart by you, who had tearfully looked to face him.
“what?” was all you could helplessly utter, as he kneeled to sit in front of you:
“..i don't want to kill you [name].” he moved to hold your hand, cold as ever, against the beating heart of his chest. “but i'd like to kiss you, honestly.”
you let out a shaky laugh, a tear falling down your face as you sighed in relief. “i think i'd like that too.”
as the last bubbles burst at the surface of the lake, he tilted your head forward, holding your chin in between his fingertips as he gently kissed you. only the grass between your bodies bore witness to the newly born relationship forged by trust ignited.
the full moon now faced you two. he held your hand tightly, encaging you with the broad of his body.
he saw the moon start to slip away and picked you up, taking you to the bedroom you'd gifted him and laying you by his side.
he'd turned practically nocturnal too from these past weeks, the desire to be by your side fueling him.
so as he laid with his eyes half lidded, looking at you in the dim candlelight of the room, he held you impossibly closer.
he wanted to spend an eternity with you. maybe he'd truly cast his old life aside and become a vampire alongside you.
that thought rocked him to sleep that night, your body like a puzzle piece next to his.
who knew all you'd have to do to kiss a vampire is cast your old life aside?
tags. @k0z3me @darhinadadragon @maddietries @exoticrasin @lavendarstarz @hisonlyobsession @i-the-fluffo @uy242c @cookielovesbook-akie @frosted-flakes @irenne-stans @kemziicore
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ham1lton · 8 months ago
Text
summer came like cinnamon (so sweet)
pairing(s): logan sargeant x reader. oscar piastri x reader.
warnings: mentions of mental health, dieting, fractured friendships and constant mention of jim’s ice cream parlour. also different povs, it goes through the minds of all three of the main characters.
summary: after their rookie season, in a bid to repair their friendship, the two drivers decide to take their new paycheques and go explore the sun, sea and sands of greece. what they didn’t anticipate was to bump into you.
wordcount: 5.6k
author’s note: this is my first semi-interactive fic, please give it some love <3 any major issues in travelling and stuff like in terms of logistics? please ignore. also let me know who you’re planning on choosing. team oscar or team logan?
— wanna be updated on the next parts? join my taglist! —
— part one of the summer lovin’ series. —
[ i ain’t a kid no more / we’ll never be those kids again ]
logan didn’t know why he was so overwhelmed with anxiety, when he knocked on oscar’s door on that rainy thursday night.
this was his oscar, the oscar that had practically grown up with him. the one who knew how he liked his toast and that he was fond of a burger with all the extras. that he had a scar on his left ankle from when he was a kid and wrestled with his brother after watching too much wwe.
ever since he had signed to williams and oscar had been a mclaren driver, they had hardly talked in comparison to their pre-formula one days. when he had crashed out during a race, he half expected oscar to text him or come knocking on his hotel door.
he didn’t. logan pretended he wasn’t surprised.
fuck it. bite the bullet. he lifted his hand high and knocked on the door. three quick taps in succession.
“one moment!” oscar called from inside. logan would wait, even if that old lady from room 135 kept looking at him like he was an intruder. maybe he was. he hadn’t been in oscar’s room for a while.
oscar opened the door with messy hair and a shirt that had been clearly shoved on before he opened the door.
“logan? hi.” oscar swallowed. the awkwardness in the space between the two of them felt heavy. “you okay mate?”
“yeah! yeah.” logan fake laughed, rubbing his sweaty palms against his jeans. “just wanted to come see you.”
“i’m here.” oscar grinned, with no teeth, at his own joke. “wanna come in?”
“sure. kinda awkward talking in the hallway anyways. that old lady is about five minutes from calling the cops on me.”
“oh that’s just brenda.” oscar said after leaning out and getting a glance at the woman, who waved at him. he waved back. “she’s harmless.”
logan followed oscar into his room. it was bigger than his and he didn’t know if feeling jealous was appropriate. he had felt many emotions when it came to oscar; happy, sad, angry, and others. he didn’t want jealousy to join the list.
“sorry, my room is a mess. i wasn’t expecting company.” oscar laughed with no heart behind it as he sat down on his unmade bed. “take a seat logan, you’re giving me anxiety just standing around.”
logan immediately sits down on the desk chair.
“so, what are your plans for the summer?”
“mine?” oscar thinks to himself. “probably just to go see my family and my friends back home.”
“i was thinking maybe we could, i don’t know.” logan bites his lip anxiously. “do something together?”
“like what?” oscar is curious now, his eyes focused.
“maybe go on that european holiday we always talked about? we have the money now and no parents to tell us no like last time.” logan speaks in a rush. “but obviously if you say no, dude that’s totally fine.”
logan looks at oscar, who’s actually considering it? he thinks to himself for a moment before turning to logan.
“how many days?”
“as long as you’d like.”
“where would we go?”
“anywhere you’d want.”
“make a decision, logan. i’ll say yes or no.”
“we always wanted to go to greece? how about there? maybe for three weeks?”
“we should go for a month. we can travel.”
wait. so that means? oscar’s face is still impassive. he doesn’t say yes or no, but he is still considering it. that’s a positive.
“that’s fine. i’m flexible.”
“i’ll plan it.” oscar nods.
“so is that a yes?”
“obviously.” oscar finally smiles, open and dazzling. logan grins too, allowing himself to bask in the approval. he was almost 67% sure that oscar would say no. he’d already done the maths, but it wasn’t his strongest subject anyways.
“i’ll text you the details.” oscar nods and logan gets up, running a hand through his hair. giddy with happiness that he’ll finally win his best friend back. this’ll be the trip that heals them. that heals him.
-❀-
oscar gets stressed when he’s not in charge. everything has to go through him. the plans, the schedule and especially the driving. he’s never liked being in the passenger seat. his hands get fidgety and he doesn’t know how to calm them down.
he’s lucky that logan is all too happy to sit in it, his eyes focused on making the perfect road trip playlist. for some reason, they’d decided to drive from london all the way down to munich.
they’d already driven down from london and through the eurotunnel and took a break sightseeing in france - which oscar had already scheduled for. they ate their weight in croissants. they ate steak and frites. logan had bought them matching ‘i ♥︎ paris’ t-shirts and oscar rolled his eyes but packed it neatly in his suitcase anyways.
they hadn’t talked about anything other than surface level topics. logan talking about his favourite sports teams, them both discussing the grid and plans for the upcoming season and the usual small talk about their family’s wellbeings.
they didn’t talk about how they ignored each other unless a camera necessitated a conversation. they didn’t talk about logan’s bad season. they stayed up till stupid hours watching badly dubbed french movies and ordering takeout.
they drove to germany, dropped off their rental car and then got a plane from munich to athens. it wasn’t very long at all but logan still curled up against the window and tried to sleep. they were both connected to the spotify account on logan’s phone - logan using his headphones and oscar with his airpods. their road trip playlist still playing.
oscar didn’t know why he didn’t take them out, even when the playlist inevitably repeated itself.
-❀-
they’d been in athens all of two days when they met you. logan had gone an insanely bright red when he’d forgotten his sunscreen had ran out. oscar laughed at first but then ran to the nearest pharmacy to grab emergency sunscreen and aloe vera for the both of them.
after slathering themselves, they’d decided to seek refuge in a small ice cream store. despite the hot weather, the store was almost completely empty besides the two of them and you. you were fiddling with your phone in the corner as you attempted to hook it up to the speakers.
“fuck’s sake!” you shout quietly, frustratingly trying to make it work. “i can’t do this shift without any music. my thoughts’ll drive me insane.”
“um?” oscar breaks the awkward silence. you jump and turn around. the first thing that they both notice is that you’re pretty. really pretty. even in the unflattering oversized neon green work t-shirt.
“sorry! sorry! i apologise. i didn’t think anyone was in the shop. please forgive me.” you look flustered as you move to quickly wash your hands and dry them. “what would you both like today?”
to be honest, logan hadn’t been thinking about the ice cream. oscar didn’t need to think, he was going to get his usual order.
“can i get two scoops of mint chocolate chip?”
“oh that’s disgusting. i forgot that you eat that.” logan shakes his head in shock.
“it’s good. you’re just a hater.” oscar rolls his eyes. “stick to your boring vanilla.”
“it’s a classic!” logan turns to you and asks for two scoops of vanilla and one scoop of mango. you smile and begin to start their orders.
“you guys aren’t from around here, are you?” you ask.
“nah. the accents give it away?” logan laughs as he slings an arm around oscar’s shoulder. oscar rolls his eyes again but makes no move to push him away.
“yeah. a little bit.” you pinch your fingers together as you say it. “i’m not really from here either.”
“no?” oscar replies this time, curious.
“international student. this was one of the few places that’d hire me with my insane schedule. i’m lucky i have the next month off, thankfully.”
“aren’t you going back home?”
“i could if i wasn’t scheduled to work here practically every day for the next month.” you finish logan’s order and move on to oscar’s. you shrug. “and i need the money. the job could be worse really, i just wish the speaker fucking worked and the air conditioning. luckily i stand close to the ice cream.”
“what do you study?”
“archaeology.”
“best place for that is probably here.”
“yes. i don’t know why but ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to come to greece and study here. this is the less glamorous side of it but i’m here doing what i love.”
“that’s all that matters right?” logan chimes in. you nod as you scan their orders into your till.
“that’ll be €7.62.” you say. “cash or card?”
“cash.” oscar says as he pulls out his wallet. he’s infinitely glad he’d prepared and went to the cash exchange in london before he’d left. logan doesn’t even bother to offer, he picks up his ice cream and starts to eat it.
oscar hands you the cash as logan moves to a booth right by the open door to take advantage of the breeze. you count back the change and place it right in his hand. his heart doubles a beat as your hands touch for a moment but the moment is broken as your phone suddenly decides that now is the time to work.
the speakers start blaring natasha bedingfield’s ‘pocketful of sunshine’. you curse, close the till with your hip and turn to fiddle with the playlist.
oscar thinks he’s a little in love.
-❀-
logan knows that oscar likes you, which is a problem because he likes you too.
this road trip was supposed to be about finding themselves, not finding you. yet, when they find themselves back in your ice cream store the next few days, it’s no coincidence.
“you’re back again! the american and australian.” on day four, you’re not alone this time. you have a colleague, a girl who’s slightly older than you. she smirks at the two of them like she knows a secret they don’t know. “i’m not the only international one here!”
the speakers seem to work normally today, playing elton john as you hum along with it. your colleague decides that it’s time to take her lunch break, slipping off her apron and leaving the three of you to it.
“same thing as every day? or are we changing it up?”
“what do you recommend?” logan asks earnestly. he’s not losing oscar to you, maybe if he charms you enough, you’ll pick him. he doubts you will.
“everything is good here but if you really want my opinion? the chocolate fudge is a real crowd pleaser.”
“i’ll take two scoops of that and oscar’ll just have mint chocolate.” logan pulls out his wallet, opens it to find a mix of euros in there. he takes a moment to pick at the right change when you shake your head at him.
“no, it’s fine. it’s on the house today. i’m in a good mood.”
“why?”
“a lot of reasons. you know what? i forgot that i didn’t even introduce myself. i’m y/n.”
“we know.” oscar is amused.
“how? are you psychic? i used to know a psychic once and i also watched that’s so raven. great show.”
“your name badge.” logan nods at your shirt as he eats a spoonful of ice cream. you were right, it’s amazing. not too sickly but just the right amount of chocolate.
“oh.” you bite your lip in embarrassment as oscar takes his ice cream.
“i’m oscar and the american is logan.” logan smiles and waves his free hand at you. “is the shop always this empty?”
“no. it’s really busy after school and at peak times. you just always come quite early. lucky. it’s hell in here when it’s busy.” you seem relieved for the topic change. “you both here on holiday?”
“yeah. a break from our jobs.”
“lucky. my best friend is back home and i wish she was with me. she’s planning on coming up at some point thankfully. i hate being here without all my friends.”
“i can be your friend.” logan says. then he immediately regrets it. what if you think that he’s a weirdo? but when your face lights up, he realises that regret was a fleeting feeling.
“i’d love that. let me take your number. one of the guys from my class is hosting a beach party tonight if you both wanna come.”
logan looks at oscar who shrugs as if to say ‘i don’t mind if you don’t’. logan turns back to you, who is the middle of unlocking your phone and grins.
“we’ll be there.”
he types his number in your phone and sends a message to himself to save yours.
“i’ll text you the details.”
the speaker interrupts the moment that you have as it starts to malfunction. you curse again and throw your hands up in annoyance.
“stupid fucking speaker! so stupid!”
-❀-
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the party is already well underway, when oscar and logan arrive. logan didn’t bother with buttoning up his shirt. he wasn’t necessarily the most confident man in the world but he was comfortable with his nakedness in a way that oscar didn’t think he’d ever be. oscar was in a undershirt with a loose overshirt.
you finally make your way over to them, panting slightly. you’re wearing a plain white bikini with an open oversized orange and yellow patterned hawaiian shirt. your hair is free from the bun they’ve seen you in work with. you smile, easy and happy.
“my two favourite customers!” you sling an arm around the two of them, hugging them so close that they can smell your perfume. “come on, let me introduce you to the five other people i know.”
you lead them down to the bonfire, where three girls and two other guys are crowded around. they cheer when you arrive with the two of them.
“guys, this is oscar and logan.” they wave politely. “oscar and logan, this is anya, jerome, alex, sienna and jaya.”
the group all cheer and welcome the two guys. it’s clear that everyone is already buzzed. oscar has never really been a big drinker so he declines a beer when offered. logan shotguns it, the residue dripping down his face. you laugh and attempt to wipe it off his face. logan goes lax in your touch and oscar can’t watch anymore.
the speaker that someone played is playing shakira as the two of you giggle in your own little world. oscar turns to jerome? or was it alex? and starts a conversation. talking about some footy game that they were watching earlier. oscar is about as into football as the next guy, but he really needs to focus on something else besides the two of you.
oscar knew that logan had always harboured some sort of inferiority complex when it came to the two of them, but logan had something that oscar doesn’t think he’d ever have - being genuinely likeable.
oscar knew he’d have to win because no one would support him as a loser. logan is just likeable regardless of what position he’s in - an underdog if he loses and a force of nature when he wins.
likeable gets the girl.
-❀-
you decide to walk the two of them to the end of the beach. the night is inky black and the only light is the remnants of the bonfire you’d lit earlier. logan is buzzed, oscar is distant and you’re still vibrating from the fact that logan made the two of you run into the cold water with him in the middle of the night.
“tonight was fun! i’m glad you were both able to make it!” you lean in and hug them both goodbye. logan swears you’d lingered a little longer while hugging him. “i’ll see you both at jim’s ice cream?”
“what is that?” logan asks bluntly. oscar elbows him lightly, not hard enough to cause damage but just enough to wind him slightly.
“the ice cream parlour she works at dumbass.” he turns to you. “we’ll see you there”
“well, i do work there. so yeah.” you laugh. all twinkly and bright. then you’re waving and jogging back to your friends. oscar watches logan look at you and sighs.
“come on man, let’s get you back.”
-❀-
logan wakes up with a hangover the next morning. oscar is a good friend and runs to the continental free breakfast and sneaks him out some waffles, croissants and eggs. he walks to the pharmacy again, paying for some ibuprofen (at least he hopes that’s what it is) with his cash and runs to the corner store to grab some extra snacks.
logan’s eyes are wide with both joy and disbelief. joy that something is there for his splitting headache and disbelief that oscar would do that for him. oscar feels a little ball of guilt unravelling inside. how bad had he let their friendship become?
they spend the day inside for the most part. watching television together. then they go outside to the pool, logan immediately jumps in but oscar sits on the side. he pulls out his phone and scrolls through the texts that he’s been ignoring. the ones from some friends, his mum, and you?
it’s not a coincidence right? that you spent the whole evening with logan and text him the next day?
he holds the phone close to his chest. he doesn’t want logan seeing this. he doesn’t know why that is. he quickly texts you back. then logan shouts.
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“hey oscar! come in! the water is gorgeous.”
oscar grins and slips into the water, keeping his shirt on.
-❀-
the two of them end up at the steak restaurant together that night. they’re both dressed as nicely as possible. oscar in a nice sweater and logan in a dress shirt. the maître d’ smiled knowingly at the two of them and led them to their table.
“he thinks we’re together.” oscar whispers to logan.
“are we not?”
“we are in the literal sense. i meant in the romantic, relationship sort of sense.” logan laughs and bats his eyelashes all coy.
“oh no! oscar are you breaking up with me?”
“obviously. i’m leaving you for my secretary.” oscar’s deadpan voice just makes logan laugh harder.
“i knew it, that skank! i’ll get him fired.” oscar laughs too, breaking out into an easy smile that comes easily when logan’s around.
the sounds of the restaurant move around the two of them as they peruse the menu for a long time. it’s been a while with no conversation when oscar bites the bullet and brings it up.
“hey.” logan looks up. “i’m sorry.”
“for the secretary? don’t be. i’m running away with the pool boy.” oscar shakes his head, smiling.
“no.” oscar says. “for what happened. letting our friendship fall to the sidelines. i didn’t mean it but it didn’t excuse it. i really do like being your friend logan. i wouldn’t jeopardise that.”
logan is silent. oscar wonders if he’s crossed some unspoken line. he bites the inside of his cheek and looks at the wall of the restaurant’s decor. it’s all dark in here. would it kill them to buy some light bulbs? he understands its for ‘ambiance’ and that shit but he’s worried that he won’t be able to find his steak in the darkness.
“i was gonna say i was sorry. i thought it was my fault. that you didn’t want to be friends with,” he cuts himself off, laughing awkwardly. “a loser.”
“no. that wasn’t it. you’re not a loser, not to me.”
“i am. that’s a fact. it’s okay. you’re very nice for that but, it’s just not true.” logan swallows thickly. “now, should i get potatoes or fries as my sides?”
oscar doesn’t comment on logan’s facial expression, that he looks like he’s holding it together by a thread. he knew emotional vulnerability took a lot out of him but it was harder on the person who admitted failure.
“potatoes.” logan grins and nods before calling over the waiter.
-❀-
the next time you saw the two guys was two days after the bonfire party. they came in laughing at a joke that had happened way before they had even walked in. you find yourself standing up as soon as they enter.
“hi! y/n!” logan’s smile is always wide and happy to see you. oscar’s smile is muted but it’s still sweet. “what would you recommend for me? i liked the chocolate fudge.”
“hmm,” you think, running your hand along the counter. “we have a new flavour, chocolate covered raspberry? it’s quite popular. i think you’d like it.”
“i trust your judgement, ice cream girl.”
you crack a smile at the nickname, the smile so big that it momentarily hurts your face for a moment. you turn to oscar.
“and what about you?”
“same as usual, two scoops of vanilla.”
you nod, getting to work on the ice creams. you even offer to pay for them but they argue, threatening to shove it all in the tip jar anyway. oscar pays and when your back is turned, logan shoves twice the amount into the tip jar.
“wanna sit with us in the booth today y/n?” logan asks, taking a spoonful of his ice cream. “it’s not like anyones here.”
oscar looks up at you with his wide eyes, not really eating his ice cream. he just swirls it, until it turns into a sort of thick soup. you shrug and slide into the booth across from the two of them. you don’t have anything else to do and if a customer does decide to walk in? well, you’ll just slide back behind the counter.
“so, what’s your plan for the future?” logan grins. “and i know it’s the worst possible question to ask any young person but i’m curious. what’s the goal? is there one? it’s okay if there isn’t.”
“dream is to become an archeologist and backup plan? i don’t know. work in an office or something? maybe teaching. i haven’t thought that far ahead just yet.” you bite your lip and look out the window for a second. the day is hot, and you’re stuck inside. “what about you two? what do you do?”
“we uh, we drive.” logan looks at oscar.
“oh like uber? cool.”
“yeah, isn’t it?” oscar smiles at you.
“i still haven’t gotten my licence just yet. taxis aren’t too expensive and public transport is decent. also everywhere i need to be is pretty much walkable.” you smile at them. “have you visited all the touristy places yet?”
“not everywhere but we’re here for a while. we’re going to travel to santorini, mykonos and corfu. i’ve already planned them out.” oscar swallows his bite of ice cream. “scheduled to the exact moment we get there and get back.”
“an exotic european vacation.” you grin, waggling your eyebrows. logan laughs despite the joke not being very funny. “i’m jealous.”
“you could come with us.” oscar blurts out, his cheeks pinkening. “you’re probably busy though right? don’t worry about it. it’s weird.”
“no, no. it’s not. it’s very sweet and tempting.” you look outside the window again. “i’m not free for the whole time, but, definitely i could join you for a week? jim won’t care.”
“jim’s a real person?” logan asks, eyes wide. you laugh.
“yeah! he’s british actually. came over here when he retired and bought this place. he was one of the few people that’d hire me. my mum’s british.” you nod. “it’s a pretty decent job. if you ignore these hideous uniforms.”
you pull on the neon jim’s ice cream parlour shirt, face crumpling in disgust.
“you look good.” logan says, shyly, as he tongues the last of his ice cream. “this is good too. the ice cream. i knew i trusted you for a reason.”
-❀-
santorini is exactly like the instagram photos. well, despite being slightly too hot, a little less vibrant and he’s here with you and logan. logan has kept his shirt on this time, a loose linen blue one with a pair of shorts and flip flops. you’re dressed in a white skirt, a cropped tank top with a massive handbag.
oscar wants to do something crazy, like reach out and hold your hand or put his arm around your shoulders. he doesn’t because he’s not insane but he thinks about it for a solid moment. thinks about the way you’d curl into him or the way your shampoo would smell. he shakes his head.
“you don’t like it?” the two of you turn to look at him. fantastic. now he looks weird. his eyes widen.
“no, no! i love it. it’s lovely.” he reaches into his pocket, shaking hands grabbing his phone as he takes a picture. “i was thinking about the best angle to take this picture for my mum.”
“i’ll take a photo of you against the backdrop? maybe the both of you. your mum might like that. logan said you two were childhood best friends right?”
oscar nods. at least you bought his story. he stands against the barrier and smiles, awkwardly. he’s sure that all the other tourists are looking at him and thinking ‘what a weirdo, his crush on her is so obvious. she wants his best friend clearly, why even try?’
after a moment, logan stands next to him. logan dissipates the awkwardness with a wave of his hand and the two of them fall into an easy grin. when logan leans in and tells a joke, oscar finds himself laughing loudly with the click of your camera as background noise.
he sends it to his mother later on, when he’s in his hotel room with logan snoring in the room across from him. she texts him back quickly.
-❀-
— from mum.
well, it looks like you’re having fun honey!
— to mum.
yeah, i am.
-❀-
it doesn’t even feel like a lie when he messages her back in the cooling heat.
-❀-
it’s three days into the trip and two weeks into knowing the guys that you realise that you have a crush. it’s only a small inkling but you know it’s serious because no matter how much you try to dissuade it, it keeps popping up.
when you’re eating, when you’re brushing your teeth and even when you’re picking your outfit with him in mind. does he like blue? is he more of a yellow guy? or is it pink that’ll catch his eye?
the three of you head to a restaurant that night. it’s a seafood place, the three of you laughing and joking about something you’d seen earlier. they look good. smell good too. they even argue over who’s going to pay for the meal and look at you like you’ve got three heads when you offer to pay.
“it’s fine y/n, you’re a student.” oscar says, smiling as logan gives up. he pays quickly, all cash with no fuss. “we can get it.”
“ubering must make you a lot of money.”
“yeah. something like that.” he smiles again. this time with no teeth as he gets the receipt.
-❀-
logan goes to bed early that night, citing something about his family being desperate to check up on him. it leaves just the two of you outside in the corfu evening air.
“want to go for a walk?” you ask, looking at him earnestly.
“yeah. sure.” he’s trying not to be too eager. not to scare you off. the two of you start walking down the street.
“i always like to go for a slow walk after a big dinner. i feel like it probably helps with digestion.” you speak quietly, as if not to disturb the silence of the street. he likes your voice and is willing to listen at any volume you decide.
“i think it does. i try not to eat too much.” oscar responds, shoving a jittery hand in his pocket. “i can’t gain any weight for my job.”
“yeah, logan said. that’s weird. what kind of uber driver has a weight limit?” he shrugs and smiles. “do you miss australia?”
“sometimes. i’m used to travelling though. i’ve done it for so long.” he looks at you. “what about you? do you miss your home?”
“eh, i wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. i wanted to remake myself. i was gonna do it all y’know? a name change and everything.” you look up at the stars for a moment. “i didn’t go through with it. even if i changed my name, i’d still be y/n really. inside.”
“i get that. i think.” oscar looks at the gorgeous landscape in front of him. he ignores all the people milling around the two of you. to him it’s just you, him and the view. “so, y/n-“
your phone interrupts him. a loud, obnoxious ringing noise. you mouth an apology at him when you look at the caller id.
“sorry, it’s my best friend. she wouldn’t call me if it wasn’t important. she’s more of a texter anyways. do you mind?” you point at your phone. he shakes his head with a smile. you disappear to take your call and he finds a bench to sit on. he leans back, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
what was he thinking? asking you out? thank god the world or fate or god or whoever is in charge, stopped him before he made the biggest mistake of his life. you liked logan and he didn’t blame you. he really, truly didn’t.
when you come back, you ask him what he was going to ask. he shrugs. it wasn’t important anyways, he says. he asks what happened with your friend and listens you chatter all the way back about your friend’s current work drama.
-❀-
the next morning, logan and you head down to breakfast together. it’s a continental breakfast that the hotel offer. it’s good, with a wide spread of toast, pancakes, omelettes, cereal, fruit and sausages. you load up your plate, happy to get food for free even though technically you paid for it.
logan’s plate is smaller. you think about what they said earlier about weight limits and feel a pang of sympathy. i mean, your job was not very well paid but at least it gave you freedom in your spare time to do and eat whatever you want.
“is oscar not coming?” you ask, forking a fluffy piece of omelette and hash browns in your mouth. it’s gorgeous and you’re hungry.
“nah. he’s not feeling too good. i’ll bring him some breakfast in a bit.” logan methodically goes through his breakfast. slow, small bites and chews it for as long as possible. “wanna go for a swim later? it’s hot as hell outside. i feel my skin melting off.”
“you are going a little red.” you tease. he smiles again, shyly. his face does go red when you lean forward and press your cold cup against his cheek. “a little better?”
“it’d be better if you’d go swimming with me.” he smiles.
“of course i will. can’t leave you by yourself. who knows what’ll happen.” he laughs this time. “now wanna try some of this omelette?”
he sits politely as you lean over and feed him a forkful of the spinach and cheese omelette. for a moment, the two of you look into each other's eyes as you feed him. he turns away as soon as it’s okay and chews the bite.
“good?”
“yeah. yeah. it’s good.” he smiles at you. “let me just get some more water for us, be back in a moment.”
“is it getting too hot for you?” you tease.
“a little.” he sheepishly grins again. “let me cool down.”
-❀-
it’s your last day with the two of the guys before they drop you back off at the bus stop to go back to athens. your heart is still pinching at the thought of leaving, but you decide your last day can’t be in vain. they’ll be going home soon so it’ll be the best time to admit what you already knew. what you had known for the whole time.
you’d been on the phone with your best friend who had helped you to write a pros and cons list.
— pros - you could be a girlfriend to a great guy. you would be happy. you would have a rich boyfriend (your bff added that). you could touch them in any way they’d let you. you could sleep together. you could also sleep together (bff again). you would have a great time. you would have fun. would it improve your life? potentially.
— cons - they could say no and you’d have to jump off a cliff. they could be dating each other and you’d be embarrassed that you didn’t figure it out. they could laugh at you. they could be disgusted. they could be nice about it and gently let you down. they’re not even from anywhere close to greece. it’d be a long distance relationship. could you even deal with that?
you shake your head and lift your hand up to his bedroom door. the wood is cold under your knuckles. the world still moves around you, tourists laughing in their rooms and people walking around. their voices murmuring.
as your hand hovered there, you thought for a moment. about how this could change everything. was it too soon? too risky? then you remembered, it’s now or never.
take the plunge and with that, you knock.
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liked by anyaaaa, alexjohnson and 183 others.
yourusername: this summer is going well. made two new friends, spent half of my savings and made some new memories and isn’t that what life is all about?
anyaaaa: when are you coming back? miss u girl!!
-> yourusername: soon! i just need to figure something out first.
-> anyaaaa: you’ll figure it out. you always do. can’t wait till you come back <33
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gureumz · 1 year ago
Text
grateful sinners
rating: explicit
member: jake
premise: growing up in a religious community (a cult?), you and your friend jake stumble upon "forbidden" media one day. of course, you know about sex but what the elders taught you was never this dirty. overcome with curiosity, you promise each other to never speak of what you're about to do to anyone.
notes: religious themes, implied cult behavior, slight (?) blasphemy, virgin!jake x virgin!reader, fem!reader, friends to lovers (?), first time, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, desperate touch-starved, jesus loving virgins tryna fuck
a/n: third of my 1k follower special! can you tell i have deep religious trauma? lmaoooo but this was rlly fun to write, if not a little tedious but i enjoyed it nonetheless! hope you do, too &lt;3
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the day was as beautiful as any other.
the early morning sun peeking behind the nearby hill, the smell of wet grass, the gentle breeze blowing through your hair.
you breathe in more of the valley air, letting your eyes close for a moment. everything is so still, hours and hours before the first worship of the day when the whole commune will surely come fully alive. at this moment, you're sure you're closer to God than ever.
a whispered prayer breaks the silence.
"i do not deserve such beauty before me, God," you mumble, eyes still closed. "but you are most merciful and i, a grateful sinner."
a silence, still. nothing or no one responds to your profession of gratitude, but that is to be expected. God works silently, as the elders say.
"i'm deciding if the beauty is on the horizon in front of us or in your face, ________," a voice breaks through, shattering the tranquil veil that envelops you.
you turn and you can't help the jolt in your chest. you grin widely and jake smiles back, hands in his pockets and his pants already soaked with morning dew from the grass.
"don't say that," you warn. "my mom might hear."
jake makes a show of looking around, gazing past you at the squat houses sitting peacefully without movement.
"i don't see her," jake says with a shrug. you laugh.
"you know how she hates it when people make light of God's word. your jokes are definitely her least favorite," you remind him, stepping closer.
jake eyes you. being noticeably taller and broader, it gives him the perfect view of your face as the dawn sun hits your delicate features.
his hair is messy, partly sticking to his forehead with the other half of his raven locks hanging over his eyes. you know his father would berate him for that. children of the pastor are expected to appear presentable in front of the whole commune as a way to honor God and his divine image.
but the commune is nowhere to be seen. it's just you looking.
and jake is used to you looking.
growing up together, with his mom and yours being close friends, your mother's unwavering devotion to the commune, and her undying support to jake's father's cause as pastor, it's no surprise that the two of you have been inseparable.
despite the clear division between the men and women of the commune, you and jake always found your way to each other. sneaking in glances, waving from afar before you start mass, and even despite your own mother's prudish ways, you know she felt at ease when jake was around you.
nothing has been said, but you're sure that when both of you reach the age of matrimony, you'd be wed to each other. you have to be.
"what are you doing out here so early?" you continue with a question, resisting the urge to toy with the wisps of hair on jake's temples.
you're forbidden to touch or be touched by any man that isn't your family. the only exception to this is his father, the pastor, free to lay his healing hands upon anyone he deems in need of it.
jake parts his lips to answer but pauses, as if choosing the appropriate thing to say.
"some of my friends and i wanted to hang out by the river," jake supplies, gesturing toward the general direction of the river just beyond the hill.
"doing what?" you ask. the men are usually tasked with heavy farm work in the morning. in your mind, a leisurely stroll by the river before all that labor seemed hardly reasonable.
jake hesitates again, now toying with his bottom lip, the plump, rosy skin growing even redder with every pinch jake delivers to it.
"you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," you say, flashing jake a reassuring smile.
"i'm not lying," jake replies almost instantly, a nervous spark in his eyes. "we really were by the river. we were...looking at something."
you cock your head to the side. jake comes even closer and the hairs on your arm stand on end, the faint scent of jake's sweat and soap reaching your nose. if you reach out now, you could easily wrap both arms around him, pull him close, and never let go.
"jay's dad brings our harvest to the nearby city market, right? well, jay went with him yesterday and he nicked this...book or something from the gas station," jake rambles, fidgeting with his fingers.
your eyes widen.
"it was glossy and the pages smelled nice. we don't have those kinds of books here, don't we?" jake continues, but your ears have started ringing in alarm.
"jay stole? jake, you know he needs to confess and repent," you whisper, taken aback.
jake gives you a look and you nearly tremble at the intensity in his irises. without warning, jake lets his fingertips graze your arm, instantly pulling away right after. you flinch, cradling your arm against your chest as if you've been burned.
"it's wrong, i know, but...haven't you thought of breaking the rules, even once? some of the people here talk about all the exciting things they've seen or done before, all because they broke one small rule. do you ever stop to think that it could be...fun?" jake questions, voice low. his eyes are wide and shaking, darting to and fro as if committing your whole face to memory.
"i—," you begin, unsure of what to say. you have thought of asking, even begging your mom to let you out into the city for one day. to see all the outsiders and their strange clothes and loud music.
but you could never go through with it. your mom would tell the pastor of your sinful curiosity the minute the words would leave your mouth.
"stealing is not breaking one small rule," you protest.
jake huffs out a breath. "aren't you tired of all of this? all of this forbidden stuff?"
you shake your head, trying to wrap your head around the words coming out of jake's mouth.
"your father's the pastor, jake," you say, voice trembling. "how could you..."
"the book had these pictures," jake cuts in, voice picking up as if it excited him to recount what he saw.
"the women in the book...they were naked."
you take a step back, clamping a hand down on your mouth.
"jake, what's gotten into you?" you question, heart beating wildly.
"i just want to know about the outside world, ________," jake reasons, running a hand through his hair.
"it's not as bad as the elders make it out to be," jake continues. "i haven't burst into flames, have i?"
you merely stare, uneasy at how blatant jake is about his sinful acts.
"do you want to see? i could borrow it from jay," jake offers, voice dropping to an even quieter whisper.
you stand there, a million different thoughts running through you. in all honesty, you wanted to take a look, never having seen any naked body other than your own. but even now, knowing that she was nowhere near, you could feel your mother's burning gaze on you. disappointed, intimidating, warning you to be a good child of God or face the wrath of hell.
you know this is wrong, or so you've been told. jake is treading a dangerous path and he seems adamant on roping you along. and yet...
"yes," you answer before you could stop yourself.
"b-but wait! how are you going to show me? we have to be careful," you hurriedly add, glancing around in case anyone was near enough to hear the atrocities you and jake are talking about.
"there's a secret back room in one of the barns. i go there to rest during breaks or after work and no one else ever goes there," jake hurriedly says, crowding back into your personal space. you notice the slight shake in his hands and the way his ears redden.
"o-okay," you say with a nod. "when?"
"later tonight," jake offers.
"during supper, we can sneak out while everyone else eats," jake continues. you feel his fingers on your arm again and this time, jake lets his whole hand flatten against the sleeve of your dress, his warmth seeping down to your skin.
you gasp, but stay frozen. jake's other hand lays on your waist and you shake uncontrollably, both terrified and excited at the prospect of jake touching you.
jake pulls you close, resting his forehead against yours. he's breathing just as hard as you.
"you know, i thought about...if you would look the same as the women in the book," jake murmurs, eyes closed.
you shiver. you should be appalled, disgusted by how jake is acting now, but all you feel is a warm, bubbling feeling in your abdomen and an insatiable itch to clutch at jake's clothes.
"jake, we can't—," you begin, but the deep toll of the church bell interrupts you, signaling the start of the day.
you and jake spring apart, knowing that the whole commune would be outside in a matter of minutes, heading off to their designated duties for the day.
before you could get another word in, jake rushes forward, kissing you. you gasp, but as if on instinct, your hands grasp at his face. a second later, you thread your fingers through his hair, the strands offering little resistance as you gently tug, just as you've always dreamed of doing. but as quickly as it started, jake pulls away, pushing you back at the same time.
"tonight," jake breathes out, walking backward. "at dinner. the last barn to the left."
you nod once, pausing for a moment as you watch jake tread further away from you. you wave before sprinting toward your house.
your mother would be in the kitchen. you would be assigned with peeling the oranges. or cooking the eggs. or buttering the toast.
to you, at this moment, it didn't really matter.
all your eyes could see, all your heart could feel is jake.
---
dinner was a tense affair.
your mom questioned your uncharacteristic early start this morning, and all you could do was supply a pathetic lie about wanting to see the rose garden started by some of the older women in the commune.
she made a point to warn you to be on time for dinner. you felt an uneasiness settle in your stomach at this, thinking of all the ways your and jake's plan could go wrong.
but rushing out of the mess hall now, legs pumping as you dash through the field toward the barns, all of your worries melt away.
you remember the kiss, jake's fingers digging into your side, his smooth hair in between your fingers.
having separate dining halls for the men and women, you weren't sure when jake would be there, but you decided you had to leave as soon as you can. you feigned a stomachache to your mother, excusing yourself to the bathroom.
you knew this was yet another lame excuse, but you went the rest of the day without seeing jake. you were subjected to teach the younger ones about scripture today at the school, but all you wanted was to feel jake again. to see him. to touch him.
you slow down as you approach the barns, jogging over to the last one to the left. your breathing is heavy, beads of sweat collecting on your forehead. another shiver of excitement goes through you as you push the barn door open.
the barn is one of the unused ones, a single light turned on at the very back. you walk toward the dim bulb, the glass-encased fluorescent hanging precariously by a thin wire.
you realize quite belatedly that jake never gave any specifics on how to find the secret room. but just then, you hear a faint shuffle to your left. despite the darkness, you can make out the faint outline of a head peeking out from behind a stack of hay.
"jake," you whisper, crossing the space between you in long strides.
jake emerges from the shadows, an easy smile on his face.
"it's back here," jake ushers you behind the tower of hay, his hand easily finding yours. "hurry, before anyone sees us."
you tighten your grip on jake's hand, the same feeling of exhilaration building up within you. you watch as jake approaches the section of the wall that's hidden behind the hay, pulling open a flimsy door that's half your height, cleverly disguised as part of the wall. inside, you can barely make out the soft flickering of candlelight.
jake nudges you forward. "it's a tight squeeze but it's comfortable enough inside."
you crouch, laying your hands on the dirt floor to steady yourself. you scurry forward through the door and emerge on the other side.
the space inside the room is enough for two, tall enough for you to stand in. you straighten up, dusting yourself off. jake follows inside, shutting the door behind him.
you look around and spot a metal box in one corner next to the single candle burning. a blanket is spread out on the ground.
"here," jake says, pulling you gently towards the blanket. you sit down, perching yourself right across jake.
jake takes hold of the metal box, unlatching the lid. inside, you can see a number of trinkets and other objects.
"are those...cigarettes?" you ask in disbelief. jake chuckles, brandishing the red and white box.
"found them in dad's safe," jake replies nonchalantly. "this one, too."
jake holds up a glossy rectangle, flipping it so it faces you. you let out an audible gasp.
"a phone? but we're not allowed phones," you say, letting jake place the device on your palm.
"i know. but that's my dad's. you know how the elders are the only ones allowed phones. so, i took his." jake is grinning now, the candlelight casting sharp shadows across his handsome face.
"but, how? doesn't he notice? what's in it?" you rattle off, turning the phone over in your hands.
"i bring it back every night once i'm done exploring what's inside," jake explains. he reaches over, pressing a button on its side. a moment later, it lights up, momentarily blinding you with how close you're holding it to your face.
you stare in awe as the screen comes alive. it dims after it fully turns on, displaying in big, blocky letters the time of night.
6:51
supper would be over soon.
jake takes the phone from you, setting it down on the blanket between you two.
"we can look at that later," jake reassures. "i got the book from jay at lunch today."
you swallow as jake pulls out the book from the very bottom of the box. jake moves the candle closer and your eyes instantly go wide.
the front of the book is glossy, indeed, just like jake said it would be. but the woman pictured on it seemed too lifelike, as if she wasn't merely printed on paper. her tan skin is on full display, with nothing covering her body but a bathing suit, one you've seen outsiders wear the few times you've seen pictures of them.
the bathing suit is black, the neckline going down almost to her stomach. you see the side of her breasts peek out from the garment holding it in place, and from what you can see, her whole back seems to be bare.
your eyes drift down to her crotch, covered by a thin strip of fabric. she stands, legs apart, her hands on her waist, baring her entire naked body to the world.
the longer you stare, the hotter you feel. an ache between your legs starts to make itself known.
"there's even more inside," jake whispers, sidling up to you. he presses his shoulder against yours as he reaches over to flip the book open.
your eyes scan the text on the next page, coming across a word you don't hear or see often.
"magazine," you mumble. a memory pings in your head.
"mom told me about magazines. this is a magazine," you say in mild amazement. "she says they're full of lies and are forbidden in the commune."
"magazine," jake repeats, drawing out the word slowly. he flips through more pages, stopping at one with a woman pushing her naked chest out.
your heartbeat quickens. you trace your finger over the picture, passing over the image of her plump breast, perky with a pinkish hue around the nipple.
you recall the science classes at the school. the teacher had recited the parts of the woman's body in a flat, monotonous voice. nipple. areola. vagina. cervix. she drilled it in everyone's head that these parts are not to be said aloud outside of the classroom.
"mine doesn't look like that," you comment absentmindedly. "they're not as...round."
you look up to see jake staring intently at you. his eyes drift down to your chest and you feel a new wave of heat wash over you.
jake licks his lips as he shifts closer, and as if compelled by his own actions, you do the same, facing jake fully.
you touch the buttons on the front of your dress.
you know what you're about to say and do next is beyond sinful. but you've already crossed the line the second you laid your eyes upon the magazine. a strange desire bubbles up inside you.
"do you want to see?" you ask quietly, watching jake's expression carefully.
"can i?" jake asks back, peering into your eyes. you can smell him again, faint lavender adding to the mix of his scent. you imagine jake in the bath, naked, water and bubbles washing over his skin.
you shudder involuntarily.
"yes," you breathe out.
you start to undo your dress, hands shaking. you've never done this before. you're forbidden to. you know God watches you now with disdainful eyes, but you can hardly find it in you to care.
you undo the last button, pulling the sleeves of your dress down and off your arms. the night is chilly and you shiver as the air meets your skin.
unmarried women in the commune are advised not to wear bras as they are still considered pure and innocent and in no need of such womanly garments.
so you sit, barechested in front of jake, shaking in the cold, in anticipation, in mild fear.
jake's jaw goes slack, taking in the image in front of him. he glances back at the magazine before returning his gaze to your own breasts. you resist the urge to cross your arms.
instead, you reach over, delicate fingers wrapping around jake's wrists. you guide them up, stopping right above your waiting chest.
"here," you whisper, but your voice sounds strangely loud in the silence of the night. "touch me, jake,"
you place his hands over your mounds and you gasp at the abrupt warmth. jake chews on his lip, fingers softly kneading your skin.
"do you touch yourself like this?" jake asks, eyes still wide in amazement and curiosity. he gives a light squeeze and you whimper, covering your mouth to stop yourself from crying out.
"sometimes," you say, voice slightly muffled behind your palm. "in the bath. when no one's looking."
jake exhales, pulling his hands back momentarily. he lines his pointer finger with your nipples, flicking up experimentally. you groan, throwing your head back.
"it feels good," you breathe out. "jake, it feels good all over."
jake pinches your nipples and you yelp, falling forward against jake. he catches you, cradling you to his chest. you breathe onto his neck, a warm stickiness pooling under your skirt.
"touch me, too," jake says right in your ear. he guides your hand on his crotch and your fingers curl around something stiff.
"please," jake implores, voice high and almost whining.
you watch in fascination as jake strains against his trousers. you caress up and down, feeling him harden even more under your touch. jake squeezes his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"sit over me," jake commands, pulling you onto his lap. there's a loud roaring in your ears as something overtakes your body completely.
"keep touching me and i'll do the same," jake instructs, returning his hands to your chest. he curls his fingers into your flesh and your mouth opens in a silent scream.
you take ahold of jake through his pants, squeezing and rubbing. jake is bucking into your hand, small breaths escaping his lips.
your head is spinning, your cheeks are flushed, and a faint guilt tugs at your chest. but you've thrown all care out the window, the only thing on your mind being jake's rough fingers tugging and pinching and grabbing at your breasts.
the bubble of heat in this little room breaks when you hear the dark notes of the church bell ringing, marking the end of supper.
you gasp, pulling away from jake as he does the same. you hurriedly button up your dress, trying to calm your breathing. jake gathers the things strewn on the floor, tossing them back into his box.
you stand, smoothing down your dress and tucking your hair back behind your ear. no words are spoken as jake blows the candle out, pushing the door open to free both of you.
you scramble out of the small space, heart still pumping wildly against your chest. you feel jake's hand rest on one side of your face, urging you to look at him.
"meet me by the river early tomorrow," jake says, now holding your face with both hands.
you blink, unsure of what to say. the rush of blood is still loud in your ears and all you want is for jake to touch you again. to keep touching you.
to touch you forever.
"please," jake adds, running his thumb over your bottom lip. you quiver at the action, stilling only when you feel him press his lips against yours.
your lips part and so does his, and as if guided by something else, your tongues move into each other's mouths, licking and sucking and breathing into and from each other.
you feel dirty, sinful even. but you start to wonder why you cared so much in the first place.
"tomorrow," jake repeats, pulling away.
the bells toll even louder. you run out of the barn without a second thought, eyes dancing with excitement, lips tender, and one single button of your dress undone.
---
you toss and turn all night.
flashes of jake invade your mind, pulling you out of sleep just as you feel yourself drifting. the way he breathed against your face. the stiffness in your hand. the pleading in his voice.
you prayed, too. prayed to God for forgiveness, for mercy. but you prayed for jake, too. to feel his lips again, to have his hands on other parts of your body.
you cry, quietly and pathetically, ashamed in the face of God. ashamed because the arousal hasn't left you. it burns almost painfully and you wish and you pray and you beg for morning to come.
you glance at the clock next to your bed and see that it's half past five a.m. you ran into jake at six yesterday, so he should be at the river by now if you're to go off of that.
you quickly dress yourself, careful to keep your movements precise and quick so as to not wake anyone in your house.
you practically float down the stairs on your toes, nimbly avoiding all the loose floorboards you know would make a sound.
you steal one glance back inside your house before taking off. you walk at first, trying to calm your nerves, but you build up to a run once you pass through the fence's gate, feeling the morning air whipping at your face.
the climb up the hill, usually a strenuous effort on your end, seems like nothing on this day, your legs taking you over it in no time.
you can see the river now, and you see the faraway figure of someone hunched over, sitting on the riverbank. excitement rips through you and you're running, running faster than you've ever had.
jake hears you before he sees you, your breathing loud and labored and your boots stomping against the wet grass. he turns to see you slowing down to a jog as you approach him.
he stands, wordlessly meeting you as you sink into his arms.
you kiss and the roar of desire is back, a single flame flickering in the blue-hued, early-morning world that surrounds you.
jake pulls you towards an area behind a large tree, and you see that the same blanket from last night is laid out on the grass. without parting your lips, jake pulls you down with him on the spread-out cloth, laying you down.
"i watched things on dad's phone last night," jake admits, kissing your jaw. you squirm underneath him, his lips sending a ticklish sensation over you.
"i watched people do it," jake murmurs against your skin, lips dragging down your neck.
"i watched them make love."
you pull jake away from where he's kissing you behind your ear, a questioning look on your face.
"you can...watch people make love? on the phone?" you ask meekly, trying to understand how some people can let such a sacred act be seen by anyone other than themselves and God.
jake nods, hands smoothing up your sides. "yes. and they do it so loudly, so roughly, so vulgarly. not like how we're taught."
you stare, wide-eyed. "what?"
"they curse a lot," jake adds. "and they call on God's name so much. we're told to never do that unless in praise."
your breath hitches when you feel jake smooth his hands over your clothed chest. you feel your nipples stiffen under his touch.
"what if it felt so good to them, they needed to call on God?" you whisper. jake ponders on this for a moment, eyes scanning over your face.
"i want to feel as good as them," jake finally says. he starts to undo your dress, the same way you did last night.
"we're going to...to make love?" you ask as jake slots himself between your legs. you feel the same stiffness from last night press up against your thigh.
"please," jake responds, pulling your dress open. your nipples are taut, begging to be touched.
jake dips his head down, latching his mouth onto one of your nubs, sending your whole body spasming. you moan, a new kind of pleasure coursing through your veins. jake presses his hips onto yours, right between your legs and you nearly cry at how good the pressure feels.
you push your core against jake's own crotch, swiveling your hips around trying to find the delicious friction you felt.
"i want to, please. i want to, so bad," jake pleads against your chest.
jake bunches your skirt around your torso, exposing your lower half and the thin, white, commune-approved underwear you have.
"please," you whine, not even sure of what you're saying.
"me, too. make love to me, jake."
jake groans, sitting upright, hands already tugging at his belt. he undoes the buckle, unzipping his pants before pulling the garments down to his thighs.
you stare half in awe and half in curiosity as jake strokes himself a few times. a clear liquid spills from the tip and you feel your mouth involuntarily water.
"can i take this off?" jake asks, hooking a finger under the hem of your underwear. you nod, cringing slightly as you feel the sticky fabric pull away from your skin as jake discards of it.
"it's so wet," jake observes, reaching down to run a finger between your folds.
"ngh!" you cry out, twitching at the sudden contact. no one has ever touched you down there. you've never touched yourself down there other than to wash.
jake presses the pads of his fingers against your core, rubbing lightly. you throw your head back, thighs already shaking.
"does this feel good?" jake asks, pressing down harder. you nod again, unable to form any coherent thoughts or sentences.
"i saw that they did this," jake says before plunging a finger into your hole.
stars burst right before your eyes when you feel jake push his thick digit into you. the feeling is foreign, a weird pressure but pleasurable nonetheless.
jake pumps it in and out of you, observing your face as he does so. you open your eyes to meet his and you see jake's pupils blown wide, his whole face a light tint of pink.
"still good?" jake asks.
"yes," you gasp, your hips pushing off the ground as you try to chase more of this feeling.
"some of them...," jake begins, pausing his movements. you start to protest but your voice gets caught in your throat when you feel jake push in another finger.
"...use two."
a slight burn at the added stretch makes you wince, your hand coming down to grab jake's wrist.
"s-slowly," you supply, opening your legs wider. jake nods in understanding, moving his fingers at a gentler pace.
you mewl, feeling the drag of his knuckles against your inner walls. you're dizzy with pleasure, overwhelmed with the thought that something could feel this good.
"it keeps coming out of you," jake says in awe. "you're getting even wetter."
"it feels so good," you gasp. "jake, please."
"what should i do?" jake asks, leaning over you. you look up, jake's face right in front of yours. not knowing what else to do, you pull him down to you in a kiss.
jake moans against your lips, speeding up his movements in and out of you. you cry into the kiss, never wanting this feeling to end.
"i-i'll put it in," jake whispers into your mouth.
jake pulls his fingers out of you and you fight the instinct to whine. jake sits back on his heels, watching as you clench around nothing.
you see his gaze darken as he takes in the sight of your dripping core, his hand coming down to pump at his shaft.
"it might hurt," jake warns. "that's what they told us."
you smile weakly. "us, too."
jake grins back at you, scooting forward to line himself up with you. jake presses the tip against your hole, watching for your reaction. he slides a little more in, and you let out a squeak.
"it's much bigger than your fingers," you say, with slight panic in your voice.
"i'm here," jake says, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "you'll be okay."
you feel jake push in some more and your whole body jerks in surprise. tears prickle your eyes but you focus on evening out your breathing. underneath the evident sting, a steady throb of pleasure beats down in your core.
"it feels so warm," jake gasps out. "God help me."
jake sinks all the way in, unable to contain himself, and you bite down hard on your lip, feeling jake deep in you. you're afraid to move in case it starts to hurt more.
"f-fuck," jake curses, hips pulling back before sinking all the way in again. you cover your mouth with both hands, unsure of all the feelings you're having at the moment.
"i'm sorry," jake whispers, kissing your cheek, then your nose, then both of your eyes. "i-it feels too good."
"it's okay," you reply, trying to contain the tremor in your voice. "keep going. it feels better now."
and it does. the more jake moves, the more you could relax. jake hits a spot inside you that completely overrides the nearly unbearable stretch and it takes everything in you not to double over in surprise.
"again," you say. "just like that."
jake stops for a moment before repeating the angle in which he thrusted in you.
there it is again. a jolt of electricity goes through your abdomen and you shudder in delight.
"yes!" you cry out. "m-more."
jake picks up his speed, careful to keep it the same way you like it. it's as if the gates of heaven themselves have opened, showing you a world of pleasure you've never seen or experienced before.
the stretch has dulled now, and the fullness you feel adds to the coil in your stomach, tighter and tighter with each thrust.
you wrap your legs around jake's waist, wanting him, needing him closer.
jake lays himself over you, his chest pressed to yours, his hips moving nonstop. you've started to meet his movements, chasing something you're not quite sure exactly what.
"it does feel good," you manage to say between moans. "so good."
jake pulls back slightly, just enough to look at you.
"have you ever finished before?" jake questions. your eyebrows pinch together and you shake your head. jake slows down, grinding into you shallowly.
"finished?" you repeat.
"yeah, when you pleasure yourself, you finish," jake recounts. you shake your head again.
"we're not allowed to, remember? i've never touched myself that way," you admit bashfully.
"it's okay," jake reassures, kissing you softly. "you'll feel it here."
jake lays a hand on your lower abdomen, pressing down. you inhale, fingernails digging into jake's shoulder.
"move faster," you request. "but keep pressing there."
jake looks at you in bewilderment but follows nonetheless. he picks up his pace again, still keeping his hand on your stomach. you feel a pressure build up where jake is pressing and you feel your whole body shake.
"you're getting tighter," jake says through gritted teeth, trying to maintain his movements.
"s-sorry, feels too good," you apologize.
"i think i feel it," you add. "keep going, please."
this sends jake into a frenzy, hips snapping at a speed you can't keep up with. you let out a sob as you feel your entire being ignite with every push of jake's shaft in you.
"i can feel myself," jake points out. "i can feel myself through your belly, God."
the words confuse you but you look down to see jake protruding through your lower abdomen with every thrust. the sight sends your brain into overdrive and you moan your loudest as a white-hot current rips through you.
you vaguely hear jake groan as he roughly grabs your hips, keeping you in place. he pumps in and out of you a few more times before stopping. you continue to swivel your hips, squirming at the strange sensation that's taking over your body.
eventually, you relax, feeling strangely peaceful. you feel lightheaded but in the best way, as if you're floating on clouds.
jake grunts, pulling himself out of you. the sensation makes you cringe and you feel something drip out between your legs.
"is that—is that your seed?" you ask in mild disbelief, though still too out of it to care much.
"yeah," jake says, nodding, collecting the drops of himself that spilled out before poking his finger back in you.
"jake!" you protest, still much too sesitive.
jake pulls his finger out and grins at you. he settles beside you, pulling you onto his chest.
---
the church bell tolls not long after.
the early morning sun rises above the tree line, and if you were to stand on the other side of the hill, you would have watched the orange glow with amazement and bated breath.
there's a breeze that blows through your messy hair and the smell of morning dew on the grass is mixed with jake's lavender soap.
breathing in the valley air, another prayer falls quietly from your lips.
"we do not deserve your forgiveness," you say . "but you are most merciful and we, are merely grateful sinners."
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throwaway-yandere · 1 year ago
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𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 [Yandere!Dottore/Reader]
a/n: this fic is 100% dedicated to @leftdestiny-posts and they would know just how much they had inspired me in this fic once they finished reading it HAHAHAHAH. P.S.: the classical songs mentioned are actual songs. Yes, the title is half a joke. Here's the spotify playlist if you're curious.
Unreliable Synopsis: You cannot remember your past, but your doctor has been with you every step of the way— and he's more than willing to spend some time with you outside the hospital. Still... did you always have pure white hair?
CW: yandere themes, light body horror, manipulation, its dottore, c'mon LOL.
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Concert II "Tristezza Di Fine Anno", performed by the Morespoke Philharmonic with their conductor, Lady Columbina, began nearly an hour ago. And you had the fortune of hearing their songs for yourself.
The well-dressed crowd filled the seats, behaving in what was appropriate for their high station. It was fully booked. The music overwhelmingly masked anyone's breaths, if they had one to start with. Her program can be felt deep in the audience's bones. Rattling them in each sforzando before it lulls down through the sound of her handpicked musicians— with Lady Columbina as the lonesome soloist when the moment calls for it.
"This piece, Symphony No. 5 in C-Sharp Minor, is not Columbina's own making, she had failed to mention that," your company hummed. "This was by another composer who hid behind the name Safed. They were a self-fulling prophecy. Do you wish to know what they said about this piece?"
You said nothing as Zandik— Lord Dottore— stroked your unnaturally "white" hair.
"They said that nobody understood the piece and that they wish they could conduct the first performance five centuries after their death."
Zandik smiled.
"What say you? Do you think those words are true?"
Your company was a tall and thin man with artificially pale-ish skin and wavy blue hair. His eyes were reportedly bloodshot crimson, although you had not received proof of that in this lifetime. But, you were drawn to his deep ocean-like colors, and that was enough to keep you mildly complacent to his strange remarks.
Zandik is surprisingly a considerate man, but he must've brought you with him for a reason. He told you himself that the reason he brought you out of your prison-like hospital room was a mere experiment on his behalf. Paradigm-shifting consequences of his strange social experiments with you are likely to occur, and he cares not for its ethical debates. He won't ask for rhetorics; these to him are tangible outcomes and no questions will be entertained.
All except his.
"I think… "
The composition had a serene, slightly asymmetrical feel to it. You were certain this was Lady Columbina's creative liberties at play. Something about it did not capture its true authenticities. The show purported to narrate three stories: the first concerned a judge who had to find a loved one guilty; the second concerned a prince who drove their beloved into despair; and the final was a tale of a knight who disregarded his obligation to defend a loved one.
But it felt incomplete. As if there was a missing piece— a secret fourth act hiding between the notes and stage.
"A person can't completely mourn for something they would never experience," you told him. "But even so, if I were Safed, I'd feel like my effort would've been a waste."
His eyes remained trained on your hair as you spoke. Zandik seems to dislike it. Unlike his cells mixed with engineered nanomaterials, yours are uniquely… "natural". His hair has a color intensity, whereas yours was the presence of every color— as physics explained it.
"Something they would never experience…" Zandik repeated, tasting the words on his tongue— a smirk etched on his face as though it tasted like bitter irony.
You continued.
"I have a hunch that Safed put everything they worked hard on all their pieces because Lady Columbina wouldn't have performed it otherwise. Since all the songs on the concert's program are marketed as underappreciated compositions, I would… um… infer that they also questioned their works and ultimately themselves if it all had worth in the end. Hopeless for the lack of attention, they probably thought there's more hope if they lived in another generation."
You wanted to say, though you're not sure where this negativity came from, that they probably despised how their well-crafted works were ignored and their sloppy yet significantly more popular compositions angered them.
But you're not Safed. You don't want to put words in their mouth.
".... Hmm, an acceptable hypothesis— a decent one, even," whatever monotonous response Zandik wished to convey, his voice betrayed his grand satisfaction. "Yet I won't give you any confirmation."
"I know."
Zandik laughed.
"The next piece is Norn's Adagio for Strings Op. 11, before the closing Symphony No. 6, better known as Pathétique Symphony, in B Minor Op. 74."
You tilted your head innocently. "Pathetic?"
"Another piece by Safed. It's a Fontaine-translated title. It's originally named pateticheskaya, which meant passionate or emotional, not at all pitiable."
He crossed his arms, insulted as though he was the one who came up with the original title.
"Roughly half a millennium past, the masses attributed Safed's demise to the strains of their final composition, the so-called Pathétique, a mere nine days preceding their exit from this mortal coil. The prevailing narrative spouts a tale of a tragic surrender to the clutches of undiagnosed clinical depression. I find such simplicity in analysis rather pedestrian, wouldn't you agree?"
You took a while to process his inquiry before hesitantly nodding.
"I… I think so."
Zandik smiled.
It's hard to tell if it's genuine, especially when such a protruding mask hides his eyes. Should its existence vanish, you aren't certain you'd see a soul within his pupils either.
"Safed hated this piece, believing it should be cast aside and forgotten. They were living in the woodlands when they wrote it— and when they decided to live with their benefactor, it was suddenly difficult to tear them away from their work."
You nodded to cue that you were still listening.
"They have an incredibly deep connection with their works. One might say they see in tunes rather than color."
You nodded again.
"Your inclination towards a perpetual affirmation of propositions, presumably to veil any potential lacunae in your cognitive purview, does not escape me. It is, if I may be so bold, your agreement that conceals your specter of unfamiliarity, right?"
You rarely understand a word he says when he is in this passionate state. You just nod as if you knew.
"Adorable," Zandik chuckled.
His voice was chillingly low yet… comforting. 
"Your sincerity constitutes an enchanting facet of your comportment."
He had to be teasing you.
"Although…" Zandik grabbed a few locks of your hair as though it was slimy and unpleasant— quickly retracting them with a disapproving tilt. "You could stand to utilize more (h/c) hair dyes. How is it conceivable that it has returned to white yet again?"
You opened your mouth but Zandik raised a finger.
"No. I am the scholar here. Do not answer."
You giggled. "Understood, Doctor."
He grinned, inadvertently showing off his pointed canines.
"What a good test subject you are, my dear (Y/n)."
Whether good was a subjective or objective assessment or not was up to interpretation.
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The mid-concert intermission began, allowing Lady Columbina's pressured musicians a 20-minute sigh of relief. Zandik ushered you to the back where the Lady Harbinger reposed on a white sofa, her cheek brushing a visibly soft and cloud-like pillow. The bright backstage lighting made her seem ethereal.
She looked like heaven, but Zandik would argue that "(Y/n)" is the true epitome of the word.
"Greetings. As expected, you'd initiate conversation at the earliest convenience." She cooed. "You look younger today, Doctor."
"You know very well that I do not take that as a compliment, Columbina." Zandik scoffed. "How many times will we rehearse this canned script until it is a learned lesson?"
"Perhaps it shall end on the day you refrain yourself from recreating… perspectives."
"Since my encounter with the Dendro Archon, I have not revisited that notion."
Columbina's gentle smile dropped coldly. "You know that your segments are not what I am referring to."
You looked back and forth between the two. Each of them was a distinctively unique person and it's a challenge to take your eyes away from the other.
Hence, when you felt Lady Columbina's eyes on you, you shook and straightened yourself before bowing stiffly.
"G-Greetings, Lady Columbina!!!"
Her gentle smile resurfaced.
"Greetings to you as well, dear Safed."
You blinked.
Dottore clicked his tongue, and Columbina laughed softly.
"Apologies, I meant to say (Y/n)— that is the name you go by in this era of humanity, right?"
You'd rightfully claim that between the three of you, you were the most human. Zandik has his clones, Columbina's origins are of strict secrecy, and you are a mere amnesiac patient. But the way she addressed you was sounding awful like stripping you away with that sense of humane identity.
"Yes? I guess?"
Columbina delightedly buzzed in your reply. "(Y/n)— truly a lovely name. That must mean that you're very healthy! It warms my heart to hear that name again. The other ones had terribly dull names, but if the Doctor had given you this title, then it must mean his research is finally drawing to a close."
Her remarks made little sense. You know little about yourself and trust only the Doctor's judgment. Should you trust her words, then it must mean (Y/n) isn't your real name…
But… that doesn't seem right either. 
"Not quite, the name deserves no celebration," Dottore replied happily. "I merely ran out of translations. Bianco, Wit, Bái— what else is there? Ancient Natlan?"
"Scientists truly make for terrible poets— Why not try Inazuman?" Columbina offered.
Those words must have had a heavy weight to them because Zandik pondered for much longer than expected.
"Hmm. I'll keep that in mind," Zandik muttered. "Although it is preferable it does not have to reach that point."
"May I ask why did you bring them here?" Columbina asked.
"It's a bit of an unconventional experiment, but I've been exploring how to elicit positive associations with certain stimuli. Exposing them to music as I accompany them should cause them to associate the emotional response it elicits with being around me." Dottore hummed. "It would be asinine to put them in a chaotic yet controlled environment such as a theme park. While a racing heart may be effective, I shouldn't risk a (Y/n)'s well-being by subjecting them to roller coasters."
"Are you sure you're not the scared one?" You asked cheekily. Zandik rolled his eyes.
She shook her head.
"What a roundabout way of saying you're taking them out on a concert date…"
Columbina looked at you once more.
"Oh, but (Y/n), you appear unwell, my dear…" she pointed at stage left. "Why don't you fix yourself up in the nearest restroom?"
Dottore raised an eyebrow, which made you want to decline Columbina.
"I'm r-really okay, Lady Colum—"
"I insist."
Columbina smiled wider. Her laced mask cast a gloomy shade on her visage.
You had no other choice.
"O… Okay."
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The halls that led to the restroom were mostly empty. Perhaps it was due to Lady Columbina's performance that made them patiently await the next song.
But there was one young man you encountered along the way. He had blonde half-way braided hair and purple-ish eyes. You paid him no mind as he circled a small rectangular paper, likely the concert's ticket, between his fingers. However, within a second, that paper vanished.
You stopped in your tracks and looked at him curiously, wondering if your eyes played tricks. He laughed, noting your attention.
"Ah! Sorry," he cheerfully gestured a small wave. "Didn't mean to practice in public."
The blonde man approached you with a smile.
"You're #9805, right?"
Immediately, you both got on the wrong foot.
Your nose scrunched, "I prefer (Y/n)."
The man flinched. "Oh, yikes! I'm not making the best first impression— nice to meet you (Y/n)! I have something for you."
You thought he was handing you his concert ticket for a moment but when you took a good look, it was a grayscale brochure.
And a white tulip…
"Um…"
"Needless to say, I'm something of a—"
"Trickster?"
"Magician, but an astute guess nonetheless!" He laughed sheepishly. "I was waiting for you, I thought you wouldn't go to the restroom."
So, did Lady Columbina plan this?
You caressed the binding and skimmed through the pages. "What's this for?"
"Father said you might be interested in its contents," the young man said. "That's all."
You blinked.
"... Are you saying you missed out most of the concert just to hand me this?"
He laughed awkwardly again. "My dear sister says I have a habit of missing a hint of romanticism when it counts, so I guess today's just one of those moments."
"Did you not like the music?" You scoffed, temper rising.
"Did you hate the composition? Did you not understand the e-emotion behind the chords? Don't you understand just how d-disrespectful that was?!"
"Woah, woah, I didn't say any of that." His eyes widened.
He didn't expect your voice to crack.
"I'm so sorry if you're offended— are you one of the original composers?"
You took a deep breath.
… Why were you mad?
… Why did it feel like those songs mean more to you than meets the eye?
"Sorry, I just…" You shook your head. "I guess I'm not feeling well. Oh, no, I'm so SO sorry…"
An unknown part of you thrived to hear him praise the music. That same part pitied the composer who worked day and night to perfect their piece. It's an ugly voice, but it was sincere.
… What was wrong with you? Why did you suddenly lash out? What was going on?
"Oh, well there's no need to be sorry then." The blonde man took his hat off and bowed.
"Farewell, Mx. (Y/n)!" He grinned. "The greatest magician in all Teyvat will take his leave. Thank you for your time!"
With the sway of his dark cape, he disappeared.
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You entered the restroom to wash your face. It didn't do much to soothe your nerves. The lingering dread for your strange emotional mood swing remained.
To distract yourself, you read through the article.
The Enigmatic Legacy of Composer Safed
In the annals of musical history, few figures emerge as enigmatic and hauntingly captivating as the orchestral composer, Safed. Born five centuries ago amidst the ancient woodlands of Sumeru, this ethereal musician seemingly materialized from Vanarama with no familial relations.
Huh… So it's about the one who wrote the previous compositions earlier.
No wonder that blonde man asked if you were one of the composers. He was being a smartass.
A Fiery Finale: The Pathétique Symphony
Legend has it that in their final act of emotional expression, Safed penned the "Pathétique Symphony," a composition so emotionally charged that, overwhelmed with disdain for their creation, they purportedly set ablaze their woodland home. Seeking solace and escape, Safed accepted the benevolent offer of a city-dwelling benefactor.
Safed… burned down their house?
No…
No, that's not how you remembered that.
No.
No. No. No. No. No.
That's not what happened. "Safed" didn't burn their house down.
Suddenly, you stilled. Your thoughts ran wild, but your inner rationale tried to force them to a halt. This peak in anxiety did not make sense.
… Why would an amnesiac like you know what happened?
A Swansong: Il Dottore's Beneficence
Their benefactor, now celebrated as our Lord Harbinger, Il Dottore, welcomed Safed into the city's heart. It was here that the truth unfolded: Safed had been grappling with hearing loss for years, an affliction that fueled their artistic brilliance yet cloaked them in a muffled world. They were unaware of their disability, yet thrived in their field.
Wait…
Before you began to read the final paragraph in Safed's brochure, you hurriedly went back to Dottore and the composer's vintage photographed portraits.
After seeing their face, you dropped the brochure in the restroom's sink.
You saw their face.
You saw YOUR face and Zandik's.
But not quite. That was you, but at the same time, it wasn't. Zandik looked stiff in those photos with "you", likely a product of the time since Kamera photography was used only in rare formalities that required a bit of dress up. But the "you" you saw was sickly way beyond the formal costumes. They had (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair, but yours were all white. 
White…
Safed… That's the Sumeru translation for white, isn't it?
Bianco, Wit, Bái— they're all translations for "white", aren't they? And if Dottore and Columbina's earlier conversations were to go by, the one after you would be named Shiro.
The one… after you?
"Tut tut."
You trembled at the familiar sound.
You slowly turned your head around and there he was, leaning against the restroom door.
"You were in the restroom for too long. It appears my suspicions were not unfounded."
Without waiting for a response, he approached with large strides. His gloved hands seized your stressed shoulders. The grip tightened harshly as he forced you to meet his intense gaze. Blood trailed from the corner of your mouth, and your anxiety heightened. He angrily bared his sharp teeth as he watched it stain his gloves.
And yet Zandik looks…
Sad.
And distressed.
He pressed his earpiece.
"Test Subject #9805 exhibits troubling symptoms. Hematemesis suggests a severe physiological response. Persistent manifestations of albinism in ocular and follicular pigmentation indicate underlying deformities. Immediate isolation is warranted for the researcher and subject's well-being."
His hand was cold. Skin imbued with silver nanomaterials after several operations, reminiscent of the age-old philosophical question: "Is it still the same ship if you gradually replace all of its parts?" 
Then Zandik did something unexpected.
He dropped his hold and you prepared yourself by shutting your eyes as he swung his arm.
To hug you.
"I'm sorry, I have failed you again, (Y/n)," Zandik muttered. "I should not have raised my expectations."
"W… What? Why are you putting me in isolation?" You asked, rattled. "What have I done?! I just— I didn't do anything wrong! What did I—"
He shifted, dragging your arm to hug him back as though you were a little girl's doll. Zandik rested his head on your shoulder, shaking slightly.
"In your innocence, no fault lies. I thought I had accomplished what I had set out to do, and met unfulfilled expectations" Zandik gritted his teeth, voice somber. "Despite centuries of refinement, it appears that I still have room for improvement in perfecting the process… I was right. This deserves no celebration."
The doctor laughed sadly.
"When will I ever be proven wrong?" He asked himself as he wiped the blood off the corner of your lips.
He pulled away, pecking your forehead.
"I'm sorry."
Those were not the words you expected from his mouth, and yet you heard it more than once. I'm sorry. It does not fit his character, nor does the tender yet cold hug he had given prior.
You're scared. You're terrified. You know what was bound to come. You know what awaits you. White walls. Silence. Separation.
Solitary.
Far from a choice. Far from negotiable.
There's no amnesty.
And yet, the words flowed from you naturally.
"... I forgive you."
You have no idea why you said what you said. There's no certainty that you believed your own words. Zandik's lip twitched downward.
"You should not," Zandik croaked. "Why? Why must you always forgive and accept my selfishness? Do you derive satisfaction in seeing me in this state?!"
You opened your mouth to answer but were stopped abruptly as he grabbed your hair.
Zandik had always favored you compared to other patients. You know this very well. He's an evil man and the list of actions he had done that had harmed you in the name of science is at least two pages long upon your awakening. Yet, you were sure he liked you enough for he told you of his new exciting experiments. He scolded you when you left his research institute for fresh air. And he would hold your hand whenever you dreaded those thick injections.
You just didn't know he had it in him to fold from his intimidating facade just to kiss you like a desperate man. 
Breathless under his control, he softly pressed his lips against yours. His lips were chapped and cold, and he took you in gently as though he'd break you. Zandik, as strange as it was, still seemed to prioritize your comfort over his needs. Normally, this tension would've made him so short-tempered. But this will be your last interaction. The doctor tasted your blood in his mouth, and he was nauseous at the thought of hurting you more. But he stopped. Even though he wishes to force all his pent-up desires onto you. Even though he wanted to love you thoroughly that you'd forget your name again.
Zandik whimpered quietly as he pulled away— sounding like a dog that would not sleep that night. What was left in between was a thin disappearing line of saliva and blood that quickly broke off.
The doctor should be happy he finally got to have a proper date with you after 9805 failed attempts. 
But he's not content.
He was about to lean in for the second time but stopped himself. Selfish. To think he nearly saw you two finally walking down the aisle. Why was he always so selfish when it came to you? But those rhetorics mattered not in your head.
You were silenced. You were held.
You were loved.
"No." Zandik breathed in, laughing humorlessly. "No— I am the scholar here. Don't answer."
And you will be disposed of.
"Take them away." He spoke to his men calmly. They had entered long enough to witness what he had done. The men did not hesitate to grab you, thinking Dottore thought you no more than a mere toy.
But calm was deceptive. It does not convey the distress that chokes him.
Maybe…
Maybe in the 9806's trial… he'll have you as he always wanted.
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The Fatuus that escorted you in was gentle. A silent guide. The expression on her face was clear that she wanted to extend her apologies as well but mustn't.
You already have a white tulip in hand.
Arlecchino already sended her regards in advance.
When she opened the door by tapping a card against the lock, she bowed her head. You let yourself enter without a fight. The room was pure white with the rest of the furniture matching the drapes. But Dottore didn't just provide the necessities. There were books, sketch pads, and other recreational materials.
As you were about to approach the center, something was off on both sides.
You looked to your left.
Two clear mirrors divided your room from the others. There's a sign on the left wall. Code #4135.
You stood, shocked, grieving at the sight of your predecessor. They were a mirror of you but with a different name— and an even worse state.
One had made a slight sound coming off their skin— rotting slightly. There's a tube connected to their mouth and you could see yourself— you could see them dripping. They had your face. Their hair and eyes were white. The nose was gone, leaving a gaping hole. Their neck was cricked back at an unnatural angle. You don't know if they're still breathing. They're still bleeding. They must've bitten off their tongue.
There's a lone white blanket that covers the rest of them.
You think they might be dead.
You think "you" might've died more than once.
THUD!
You jolted at the sound coming from the wall behind you. Upon seeing their body, you froze.
Code #032.
They were but a head. You wish you could only focus on that aspect, but you looked lower and your hair raised. They cannot feel the same, for they were almost only a spine left. The rest of them were their skeletal frame, guided by thin lines one can barely call flesh.
Their head banged against the mirror. The thought that the sound was what made you flinch earlier made you unwell.
They seem to be telling you something. Their breath fogged up the glass and their thinned white hair splayed across your view. Their mouth said something urgently you couldn't comprehend because their tongue was paper-like in size.
#032 was shaking. Their pain grew vivid in every movement that the room was starting to spin. You sensed their turmoil.
They looked like death.
You all looked like death itself, both the pretty and ugly ends of it.
"Don't." You whispered, begging as you knelt to their level. "You don't have to speak."
You laughed deprecatingly.
"We're not the scholar here. He is."
In every syllable, you saw the outline of their esophagus strain. The nerves were blueish purple. The little skin they have left on their cheeks is sunken. Their lips were gnawed, likely as a response to the pain they'd gone through previously. Fists of bone tapped against the glass, and you quivered, imagining their pain.
You were not afraid of them. You only mourned their anguish. In fact, you feel at ease to be in the presence of yourself from the past.
It reminded you of what "Safed" had allegedly spoken years ago.
Nobody understood the pieces you made and you wished you could conduct the first performance five centuries after your first death.
And now, here you are.
Seeing two "people" who do understand you.
And they share your face.
"Pathetically", the only one that can understand you is yourself.
You're all flies trapped in a web that the predator refuses to wrap and consume out of pity. Compared to the others, you looked fine.
But your lungs were blistering.
Despite their deathly ill and mutilated bodies, you were the one bound to die soon enough.
His experiments worked.
You love him.
You love Zandik.
And how tragic it was that the person who learned how to love him was doomed to perish.
In your last minutes, you recalled something vital:
As an outsider, your body was not meant for this world, but after encountering the woodland creatures and Zandik, it became tremendously difficult to part ways with it.
You coughed up yet again with a gentle smile on your face. Maybe you're not dying…
Maybe you're just returning home, for every atom in your multiple bodies was once part of the galaxy.
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You are (Y/n) (L/n).
And you were not from Teyvat.
Much like the rest of the descenders, you have a quirk about you that sets you apart from the norm. For the travelers the world reveres today, it was their distinct determination and questionable age that was remarkable. Yours slightly titters to an inhuman level.
You can "clone" yourself.
Zandik and the "original" you wouldn't phrase it in that manner, but it's the easiest way to describe your talents.
"So, it is cloning." Zandik paused. "Mind letting me in on the science behind the process?"
He was an ordinary student when you both met. Far from a doctor, but at least he was a registered scholar in the Akademiya. Zandik didn't have an eloquent tongue as he does in the present, yet his curiosity burned all the same.
Which is why, back then, you thought his questions were cute.
Not dangerous.
"It's not that I can make copies of myself without consequences," you humored with a grin. "I'm just making… fragments of myself. Segments, if you prefer to call it that. It's a common ability for the people back in my world. None of us do it excessively— especially since we're kind of an invasive species." 
Zandik raised an eyebrow, "is that a commendable trait?"
"My kind says so. Whether good is a subjective or objective assessment or not is up to interpretation." You answered noncommittedly. "I don't think that's right. Our soul splits apart until we're just… empty. We lose some memories in the process."
"But functioning?"
"In a sense, yeah, but we lose a part of ourselves like memories and well, hair color, I guess." You nodded. "Why are you so curious?"
"Since you have rejected my confession, I want to try my hand at seducing a copy of yours instead," Zandik said. You couldn't tell whether he was joking with his naturally piercing red eyes. "Until then, you are not allowed to asexually reproduce without my authorization. Understood?"
You laughed. Unaware of his arsonist crimes, you willingly indulged his words.
"I owe you my ears, so it's only right that I'll listen to your commands, Zandik."
"Good." Zandik grinned, shark-like.
"What a good test subject you are, (Y/n)."
Centuries later, that closing sentence will continue to remain true.
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Since then, his life has changed. Multiplied, even. Upon studying your genetic makeup, he found ways to duplicate himself as well. Despite his feats in science, Zandik remained unhappy.
Deep down, all the Harbingers pity the Doctor who cannot save his most loved one. That includes both Columbina and Arlecchino.
No one protests even when harmful orders are given; everything appears fine until the symptoms are felt. Because the organism— the astral descender— has no nerves or voice, he continues to assume that the patient is not in pain.
The patient needs peace but because they are not to speak, they remain silent, and the need persists.
The patient wants to eat and breathe fresh air, but because such desires might hurt the feelings of the doctor who thinks he has done everything needed, the patient remains quiet, contemplating desires out of fear of reprimand.
The original (Y/n) (L/n) suffers in silence. In a white room only accessible by a man who continues to nurse his unrequited love: Zandik.
No one else can enter this room.
He won't allow it. Only he can be obsessed with you.
The thought of you haunts him like a smiling reflection upon window panes— like a gift of a Trojan horse with nothing but your echoing laughter and hospital monitor beeps inside. Your thin limbs were marching clock hands with rusted gears that miraculously function till the end of time.
What is immortality for if every day was a death loop?
It is such a lonely concept…
You ought to be thankful that he's willing to be your eternal company.
"I endeavored to elicit a reciprocation of my sentiments from the latest subject. Regrettably, their discovery of my antecedent experiments transpired prematurely. Nevertheless, as asserted several times, it remains but a temporal inevitability until an iteration of yourself succumbs to having an interest towards me." Dottore hummed.
He held your feet.
He held Test Subject #01's feet.
If you spoke up, he would've bragged about how he was right. How people do love your songs. But no one knows if you can't or won't answer him. This one-sided conversation is the punishment for his hubris.
He took out a sharp knife and cut off one of your toes. You no longer feel any pain as you bleed into his hands. What a kind man the doctor is, for he blocked all your pain receptors years ago. It's a good thing you regenerate quickly.
That's what he loved and hated about you.
You only gave and gave.
But you never ran out of soul. You never ran your heart fully dry— and that left you ill. Zandik could never let you go.
You're already a part of him.
Hence, he must not make clones of exaggerated memories. He wanted your perfect yet healthy replica.
Praise be the white corpuscles extracted from your veins which had brought him new life. You were the reason for his research. You were the breath that gave his segments life. You were his muse, much like he was yours.
"Fear not, (Y/n)," he reassured with a measured tone. "Upon my mastery of the arts, I intend to reinstate your autonomy and awareness. Perhaps then, you shall find the organic inclination to reciprocate affection toward me by the 9806's trial. Until then…"
In other words, give him more time and he'll reinvent love.
He leaned his forehead against yours.
"I'm so, so sorry."
And ultimately, he'll reinvent YOU.
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"Can I have another piece of your scalp?"
"No."
"Do you not understand the weight of this research or must I expound on it further in another three-hour presentation?"
"Alternatively, you could start by saying that you're sorry," you raised an eyebrow. "I'm still not over the fact you randomly cut a piece of my ear when I was asleep, doctor. You know, I heard from the aranaras that white tulips are given to someone when they ask for forgiveness."
Zandik smirked.
"Regrettably, it seems that such an occurrence is unlikely to transpire. Do not expect such words and gifts from me."
You smiled.
"We'll see, we'll see."
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Taglist (pls notify if you wish to be on the taglist for the last two): @average-yandere-enjoyer @pix-stuff @sagekun @vennnnn-diagram @dilucragnidvr @tnsophiaonly @lsleepysimpl
604 notes · View notes
txtaetertots · 4 months ago
Text
meet cute | choi yeonjun
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pairing non-idol!yeonjun x gn!reader
wc 4.6k
genre strangers to lovers, fluff, lowkey crack
summary you meet your best friend’s roommate in the most bizarre borderline violating way possible.
warnings crack kinda wack, swearing, mentioned/implied nudity, yeonjun’s an embarrassing mess, suggestive joke at the end oop
notes this has been a wip for a few months now i thought it would be a funny little one shot to write.. i had too much fun writing it i fear pls enjoy 😅
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most couples have what they call a meet-cute. in other words, a cute or unique situation in which they met. sometimes they’re quirky and awkward. and the way you and yeonjun met was definitely… something of the sort.
“i feel sticky,” you whined to your friend beomgyu. it was a hot day. there were barely any clouds to spare some shade and the sun seemed to have chosen to beam down especially hard on you. you tried your best to dress appropriately but even if you were naked there would have been no escape from the intensity of this heat.
beomgyu rolled over to his side and propped himself up on his elbow, squinting as he looked up at you sitting up and soaked in sweat. he grimaced, “ew. you look disgusting.”
you shoved his shoulder, causing him to fall flat on his back, inciting a cackle from him. the two of you had been friends for a little over six months. and in these six months, he quickly became your bestest most trusted friend.
the day you met, you had just finished settling into your new apartment and decided it was finally time to explore your new city. but, you failed to take into account your terrible navigation skills. you ended up in a random pc bang after trying to look for somewhere to regroup before trying again to find that restaurant you heard such good things about. you must have looked lost enough because a random boy sat beside you, peering over your shoulder to look at the way your thumbs twiddled on the naver map.
“you know,” the boy started, startling you. you jumped back, scooting away from him and staring at him with wide eyes. “if you want to find the soshi bar, you should try spelling it right.”
he looked at you innocently, sipping his cola. you furrowed your brows before looking back down at your phone, immediately noticing your spelling mistake. you shrunk in embarrassment as you corrected it before thanking him quietly.
“you must be new to the area. are you a tourist?” the boy asked.
“uhm, no. i just moved here a few days ago,” you answered hesitantly.
he smiled brightly, extending his hand out for you to take. “wow, welcome to the city! i’m beomgyu!”
you gave him a friendly smile before taking his hand and introducing yourself back.
you could’ve just left and forgotten him. but, considering you had no friends in the city, you took him up on his offer to show you around. and what ended up blossoming from that chance interaction was a friendship you’d both treasure for years to come.
“wanna go back to my place and wait for the sun to go down a bit before going back home?” beomgyu offered, getting himself up off the grass and dusting his clothes off.
you nodded, holding your hands out, asking him to help you up to your feet. he grabbed your hands and pulled you up with more force than necessary, causing you to stumble as you tried to catch your balance. if there was one thing beomgyu was good at, it was teasing you as if he were your little brother.
his apartment wasn’t very far from the park you two decided to take a break in after shopping together all morning. the walk felt like an eternity though. you could feel the sweat beads pouring down from your forehead and temples, finding their way down your neck to the collar of your tank top. you felt disgusting.
you came upon beomgyu’s complex and were immediately met with a smack of ac. the sensation was so satisfying you let out a contented sigh. but, your sweat began matting, making you feel even stickier than before.
“beomgyu,” you exasperated as you watched him punch in his door code. “is there any way i can shower here? i don’t think i can stand being this gross any longer.”
beomgyu shrugged, opening his door and letting you in. “sure, i don’t mind. i’ll get you a towel.”
it wasn’t your first time at beomgyu’s place. you’ve actually been over quite a few times. but, despite this, you’ve never met his roommate—yeonjun. beomgyu has told you about him a couple of times saying he was more like an older brother than a roommate. he always says how he wants to introduce you two since you’re both important people to him. but, yeonjun seemed to always be at work. according to beomgyu, he worked at a dance studio as an instructor. he was usually there all day. with the way beomgyu spoke so highly of him, you were sure you would like him and get along well. whenever it would be to finally meet this elusive boy.
beomgyu walked you to their linen closet, grabbing a fresh towel for you to use. “you can just use my products,” he offered as he motioned to the bathroom door.
you thanked him and walked into the bathroom, taking note of the blue basket of shower products labeled ‘beomgyu’. you smiled to yourself as you saw the rose and peony-scented soaps he had. no wonder he smelled so nice, you thought to yourself.
while you got yourself situated, beomgyu went back to his room, deciding to kill some time by playing some video games while he waited for his turn to shower. he sat at his pc and put on his headset, settling into his noise-canceling gaming world.
it felt so good to be out of your gross sweat-drenched clothes and under the clean running water. thank your luck you bought clothes you could get away with wearing until you got home. and thank the heavens you had a friend like beomgyu.
unbeknownst to anyone involved, however, this should-have-been refreshing shower was about to turn into the single most embarrassing and honestly violating moment of your life.
yeonjun was sloppily running up the stairs to his shared apartment with beomgyu. he really had to use the bathroom.
the ac unit at the dance studio stopped working, so they had to close down for the rest of the day much to yeonjun’s disappointment. he was already out of the subway when the urge hit him. he really had to piss. thank god he was just a few minutes away from his apartment.
he inputted the door code and rushed inside, not bothering to check if beomgyu was home. but, he assumed he was upon walking up to the bathroom and hearing the shower running. normal people would stay out of the bathroom when it’s already occupied, but beomgyu and yeonjun only had one bathroom. they had the agreement that it was okay for each other to walk in when needed if either one was showering or brushing their teeth. the only exception was if someone had to take a number two. that could wait until the bathroom was vacant and free of victims. but, yeonjun just had to pee, so it was fine.
the door was locked, which was unusual considering their agreement and should have raised some flags. but yeonjun just shrugged, easily unlocking it with a swift turn of the exterior locking mechanism with his thumbnail. when he swung the door open, he was met with an ear-bursting scream.
you were rinsing beomgyu’s apple-scented shampoo out of your hair when you began hearing noises outside the door. first, it was the sound of the front door opening and closing. then, it was hurried footsteps coming toward the bathroom. finally, it was the sound of the doorknob unlocking and turning. you peered around the curtain when the door swung open, eyes meeting with the man who had his hand on the knob and the color drained from his face. you screamed, clenching the curtain to hide what you could of your naked body.
“get OUT!”
yeonjun froze in place for a few seconds, trying to process what was happening. he stumbled with the door, forcefully slamming it shut. he turned around and leaned his back against the door, eyes still wide and mouth agape. what the fuck.
“what the hell is going on?!” beomgyu exclaimed, running out of his room and to the scene of the crime.
his face fell when he saw yeonjun against the bathroom door clenching his chest and face bright red. the shower stopped running and he could hear you fumbling around. when the puzzle pieces began coming together, beomgyu turned to yeonjun and glared.
“yeonjun, you perv!” he accused.
yeonjun shook his head furiously, taking awkward steps towards beomgyu. he moved his mouth but no words were coming out. of the thousands of thoughts running through his mind at this very moment, all he could say were splutters of sounds and exasperated breaths.
the bathroom door slowly came open, revealing you with the towel wrapped firmly around your figure and your clothes gripped in your arms. beomgyu looked in your direction, eyes sorry. but, yeonjun turned his back, not wanting to make you more violated than you probably already felt. you hurried to beomgyu’s room to change into some of the clothes you bought and get yourself out of this situation as quickly as you possibly could.
beomgyu turned back to yeonjun, crossing his arms and scowling. “mind explaining what you were doing walking in on yn showering?”
yeonjun’s eyes widened again. yn? as in the new friend beomgyu had been gushing to him about for months? the friend he swore up and down yeonjun would probably get along with really well.
“i thought it was you!” yeonjun finally managed to spat.
“you didn’t notice the smaller shoes by the entrance?!” beomgyu pointed.
“i had to piss, gyu! all i had on my mind was getting to the toilet in time!” yeonjun threw his hands up to his hair, clenching a fist full in each and letting out an embarrassed whine. “why didn’t you text me about bringing your friend over?!”
“how was i supposed to know you were leaving the studio early!?”
as the two continued to argue, you paced in beomgyu’s room and bit at your thumb. so, that’s yeonjun.
this wasn’t exactly how any of you planned to introduce yourselves. you’re just grateful the shower curtain saved you from exposing anything to him. still, it was humiliating and terrifying to be walked in on while in such a vulnerable position.
“yn? are you decent?” you heard beomgyu through the door. you cleared your throat, trying to collect yourself before answering with a yes.
the door opened cautiously, beomgyu slowly peering inside and walking in. he looked at you with an apologetic face, opening his arms for you to find comfort in his embrace. you smiled, making your way to him and wrapping your arms around his waist as he wrapped his around your shoulders. he rubbed your back, apologizing you were put in such an unfortunate situation.
“i’m okay, beom. i don’t think he saw anything. besides, it was a misunderstanding,” you reassured. you weren’t mad. it was just startling. and, you were certain yeonjun didn’t have any malicious intent when he barged in on you naked in the shower. as odd as that sounds to say.
you and beomgyu walked out of his room and met with yeonjun who was sprawled on the couch face down.
“hey, pervert,” beomgyu whistled, knocking on yeonjun’s head to prompt him to get up.
“i’m not a pervert!” yeonjun cried, lifting his head. when he looked up, his eyes met with you smiling down at him trying to stifle a laugh after seeing him so sulky. he gasped, falling off the couch in an attempt to get up. the thud caused you and beomgyu to erupt into laughter, watching the taller and older boy try to collect himself.
yeonjun stood up, shoulders stiff as he held his breath. he tried his best to avoid looking at you too long, choosing to stare at the ceiling instead. he was afraid if he looked at you he’d start imagining you the way you looked in the shower. the mere thought of that made his face flush a bright red again.
“yeonjun.. is it?” you asked, walking towards him little by little. he nodded, still insisting on looking everywhere but at you.
“i’m not upset at you for walking in on me anymore,” you comforted. “it was an honest mistake.”
your tone was so reassuring and gentle. he expected you to give him a piece of your mind (and he wouldn’t have been mad about it). he thought he deserved to get yelled at, but you were so understanding and kind. it made him relax a little. yeonjun released his breath, warily turning his attention to you.
once his gaze landed on you, he felt like he was knocked off his feet. his mouth fell slightly agape, face heating up as he admired the beautiful smile painted over your plush lips. your eyes were so kind, giving him a sense of relief.
“i hope i didn’t scar you back there,” you giggled lightheartedly, trying to brighten his mood.
he shook his head, eyes wide and still glued to your face. “no way! you’re gorgeous!”
the moment those words spilled out of his mouth his hand jolted up and slapped over his lips. you were taken aback but immediately fell into a fit of giggles. beomgyu joined you in laughter, absolutely amused by how clumsily yeonjun was behaving. he’s never seen him so flustered.
“i am so sorry,” yeonjun said, shoulders stiffening again. “i swear i didn’t see anything! i don’t know why i said that.”
you shook your head. “no need to apologize! if it makes you feel any better, i think you’re pretty cute yourself.”
none of this was making him feel better.
yeonjun was so embarrassed and hearing you call him ‘cute’ just made him want to crawl into a hole. just when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, he practically violated his roommate’s new friend. and, to make that even worse, you seemed to be having fun teasing him about it.
“i’m gonna go now,” he quickly excused himself and ran to lock himself in his room.
you and beomgyu could hear him cursing himself and whining as soon as he closed the door. it was amusing, you’ll admit. but, it also made you feel bad for teasing him. he was clearly full of guilt and incredibly apologetic for the incident. beomgyu hadn’t given him a heads up that there was a guest and he obviously was experiencing a bathroom emergency. you understood him and decided to give him a pass this one time, especially because there was no real harm done besides startling you. as quickly as he intruded he left.
yeonjun didn’t dare step foot outside that room until he was sure you were gone. he paced around, debating whether six hours was long enough of a wait before attempting to crack open his door and check if the coast was clear. he walked up to his door carefully, pressing his ear against it, and held his breath, trying to hear if there were any signs of life besides beomgyu. not a single peep. he opened his door slowly, trying not to catch anyone’s attention in case you were still there.
just when he thought he was safe to come out, beomgyu jumped out from the blindspot of his door. yeonjun let out a scream, hands jolting up to his chest and clutching his shirt. beomgyu began laughing, taking enjoyment out of scaring the easily startled yeonjun.
“beomgyu, what the hell!?” yeonjun yelled, his fear quickly replaced with aggravation.
“sorry, it’s just too easy,” beomgyu teased, trying to suppress his laughter.
“did yn leave?” yeonjun asked, relaxing his arms.
“they left hours ago,” beomgyu informed.
“why didn’t you tell me!?”
“i wanted to see how long you’d keep yourself locked up,” beomgyu shrugged, walking back toward the kitchen.
yeonjun followed him, annoyed but relieved. he took a seat at their dinner table, finally able to relax a little bit and eat something. he didn’t know how much longer he could go listening to his stomach growl. beomgyu rustled around their cabinets and fridge, shaking his head and clicking his tongue.
“we need to do some grocery shopping,” beomgyu announced, shutting the fridge and grabbing his phone out of his back pocket. “wanna order takeout tonight?”
yeonjun nodded in agreement. beomgyu took a seat across from him at the table as he placed an order for their favorite restaurant through an app. yeonjun’s leg bounced as he watched beomgyu place the order, hands clasped together over his chin. the silence between them was making him think and he needed answers before his thoughts ate him alive.
“is yn really okay after what happened?!” he blurted, face twisting into displeasure.
he just couldn’t shake it off. no matter what you said earlier, he felt like he had to do something to make it up to you. it didn’t feel right having you forgive him so easily.
“yeah, they said no harm no foul,” beomgyu replied, eyes never leaving his screen.
yeonjun shook his head. he couldn’t accept it. “but, i say yes harm yes foul!”
beomgyu paused his tapping and looked up from his phone with an amused smile on his face. he raised an eyebrow upon seeing how guilt-ridden yeonjun still was. beomgyu admitted it was kind of a messed up situation, but you insisted that everything was okay.
“what do you want to do then? make it up to them somehow?” beomgyu asked.
“i have to,” yeonjun pleaded. “it’s eating me alive how humiliating that was, gyu.”
beomgyu sighed, tapping a couple more times on his phone before shutting it off and putting it face down on the table. he straightened up, folding his arms over the table, and gave yeonjun his undivided attention.
“okay,” he started. “what do you want to do?”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
it was a ridiculous idea, but beomgyu would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see yeonjun go through with it. he thought it was a bit extreme, but yeonjun insisted that it was the only way to match up with the situation he accidentally put you in. it made him wonder why yeonjun was putting in this much effort, but the look on yeonjun’s face when he saw you walking up to them gave him the clearest answer.
beomgyu had texted you asking you to meet them at the park by his apartment. something about yeonjun had gone nuts and you needed to be there or else his feelings would never recover. it was weird and cryptic, but it was beomgyu, so you didn’t question it. though, that didn’t stop your confusion as you spotted the two standing and anxiously looking around. as soon as yeonjun spotted you, he smiled brightly and began taking deep breaths to prepare himself.
“hey, guys? what’s going on?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed as you got a better look at yeonjun’s attire.
beomgyu pointed at yeonjun, a smirk on his face knowing what was about to happen next.
yeonjun sighed, “i had to make it up to you somehow for what happened. and this is what i came up with.”
suddenly, yeonjun removed his sweater and sweatpants, revealing himself wearing a rather small pair of brightly colored swim trunks. your hand slapped over your mouth, watching as he rushed to the center of the walkway where buskers usually set up. he yelled trying to grab everyone’s attention, and once he got it, he pointed at beomgyu as a cue. beomgyu had his phone in hand and a small portable speaker in the other. as soon as he got the cue, he pressed play on his phone and music began playing through the speaker.
park patrons watched in amusement, some laughing and others rather appalled at yeonjun’s act. he was dancing and singing to ‘happiness’ by h.o.t, and rather terribly so. he was out of breath, purposefully exaggerating his moves and singing. despite everyone watching, his attention was only on you. watching intently how you were reacting and whether you were watching him at all. and how could you not? it was impossible to look away, you almost didn’t notice beomgyu on the ground holding his stomach from laughing so hard.
three minutes felt like an eternity in this moment, and when they were finally over, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were keeping in. yeonjun stood in his ending pose for a few seconds, dripping in sweat, skin flushed red, and heaving begging for air. his audience cheered, laughing as he took his bow and rushed back to you and beomgyu. you were speechless as he grabbed his things, slapped beomgyu’s leg prompting him to hurry, and grabbed your hand before running back toward the direction of their apartment.
people on the street stared as you three rushed by and into the apartment building. beomgyu was still in a fit of giggles as you rushed up the stairs and finally into their unit. you stood quietly by the foyer, watching as yeonjun took a moment to catch his breath and beomgyu lay on the couch trying to stop his giggles as he replayed the performance in his head.
“what the hell just happened?” you finally asked, thoughts slowly coming together.
yeonjun stood up straight, still in just his swim trunks. he took one last deep breath, standing before you with his head held high.
“i put myself in a vulnerable, humiliating position to make you feel better for accidentally putting you in one, too,” he proclaimed. “i hope now you can forgive me and feel better about what happened. i’m sorry.”
you stood with your mouth slightly agape, slowly beginning to laugh. beomgyu erupted into laughter again watching you. the embarrassment finally began to settle in for yeonjun, his arms crossing over his bare torso and face turning hot. you sighed, an endeared smile taking over your lips as you reached behind him and grabbed his sweater off the couch. you held it out for him to take, earning a small smile of gratitude from him.
“yeonjun,” you began. “you didn’t have to do all that. i promise everything was fine.”
you paused for a moment, watching the way his lips began to pout. the doe-eyed expression on his face made your chest twist. god, he’s so cute.
“but,” you continued. “i really appreciate you for wanting to make it up to me.”
yeonjun finally smiled, happy to hear you accepted his gesture. you pushed him to go get himself washed up and comfortable while you dealt with beomgyu, who was clutching his stomach in pain.
you plopped beside him, sighing as he sat up and winced. “my abs are on fire.”
“that’s what you get for not talking him out of that!” you scolded.
“i tried to!” beomgyu retorted. “but he was dead set on it. honestly, i think he has a little crush on you.”
beomgyu laid back down continuing to massage his stomach, not thinking twice about what he said. his words were echoing over and over in your head, though. yeonjun has a crush on me? you thought. you bit your bottom lip, hiding the smile threatening to reveal your excitement over that revelation. 
yeonjun walked back into the living room, changed and freshly showered. beomgyu got up, excusing himself to the bathroom to look through their medicine cabinet for a topical pain reliever to massage over his ribs. yeonjun decided to take a seat next to you, finally feeling more relaxed to be near you. but, because he was able to actually look at you, he noticed the way you tensed up as soon as he took a seat beside you. worry began to cloud his thoughts.
“yn? are you sure you’re okay? you seem tense,” he asked, cautiously giving you space in case you were uncomfortable.
you shook your head, placing your hand on yeonjun’s shoulder for reassurance.
“i’m fine, yeonjun! i promise!”
“then, why are you so tense? do i make you uncomfortable? do you not want me here without beomgyu?”
he kept shooting questions at you, wanting to do whatever he could to make sure you felt comfortable and safe around him. you kept insisting that everything was fine and that he didn’t do anything wrong. he wasn’t buying any of it though and begged you to tell him what was wrong.
“you’re gonna laugh,” you warned. “beomgyu said you have a little crush on me.”
yeonjun fell silent for a moment, eyes widened. you stared at him, anxiously waiting for him to respond. an awkward laugh broke his silence, his fingers fidgeting with the drawstring of his sweatpants.
“he said that?” he asked, eyes wandering around the room.
there it was again. he was avoiding making any contact with you. you slowly scooted closer to him, making him freeze.
“well, do you?”
“do i what?”
“do you have a crush on me?”
yeonjun paused, looking at you for a brief moment before straight ahead at the powerless television screen in front of you. he cleared his throat before cautiously answering.
“i mean, i do find you… attractive,” he said. “so… what if i do?”
you smiled, finding his nervous mannerisms cute. 
“would it make you feel better if i told you i had a little crush on you, too?”
yeonjun snapped his head to look at you so quickly you could’ve sworn he got whiplash. his eyes were wide, nostrils flared in bewilderment. he didn’t even try to hide the smile creeping up on his face. he didn’t want to admit it to beomgyu then, but he was smitten from the moment he saw you. your smile, your laugh, your eyes. everything about you was so… pretty. so, so pretty. and it was killing him knowing he might have ruined any chance he had at getting to know you properly because of the incident. who would want to get to know the person who walked in on them in the shower?! even if it was an accident. but, hearing you say you took just as much interest in him as he did you, made him overjoyed. 
“wait, really?” he asked, almost as if it were too good to be true.
“i told you i thought you were cute, didn’t i?” you reminded.
“so, does that mean, if i asked you out, you would say yes?”
you shrugged. “i don’t know. try.”
he laughed, beginning to find your teasing somewhat entertaining.
“yn,” he said, his shoulders relaxed and his voice calm. “would you do me the pleasure of going on a date with me?”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
you loved to reminisce about that moment, even though yeonjun would prefer if you didn’t remind him. it’s been a year, but no matter how long it’s been he will never get over the embarrassment that memory gives him. he still wished you two met in a better manner, one that made him look cool. but, you wouldn’t trade that moment for anything. you don’t think it could’ve gone any other way that would have made him appear more charming than that.
“you know,” you said, playing with his hand as you lay in bed together. “you could have just gotten me an ‘i’m sorry i almost saw you naked’ cake and we could’ve called it even.”
“baby,” yeonjun deadpanned, hand gently rubbing your back. “i was desperate and irrational. it was all i could think of at the time!”
you giggled, nuzzling into his neck and wrapping your arm around his torso. he was still as endearing as ever.
“we’ve come a long way since then,” he said. you hummed in response, closing your eyes as you allowed yourself to begin drifting to sleep.
“because i’m allowed to see you naked now,” he added quickly, suppressing his giggles as you playfully slapped his chest.
endearing and annoying as ever.
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© txtaetertots
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sykesandskittles · 5 months ago
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“ZERO”
Warnings: warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, spanking, marking, implied dom!Noah, BOYFRIEND!noe <3, sir kink, pain kink (reader), reader is called ‘good girl’ and ‘baby’, brat tamer!noah, brat!reader, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, , thigh fucking, Noah spanks reader’s ass edging / orgasm denial, oral (f receiving), dry humping, fingering, Noah does eventually let reader cum <3
WC: 3.7k
Notes) Ngl, I wrote this at like 2am while listening to DAYSEEKER. That being said. Noah will give you whiplash (just like dayseekers songs) he goes from Mean Noah to tease Noah! Hope y’all enjoy 😉
Noah’s patience was about as thin as a strand of hair at this point. When he invited you to his company’s banquet dinner as his plus one, he was happy to have you on his arm all night. He always talked very highly of you at work, so it was only natural that he wanted to show you off to all his coworkers. He had taken you shopping for a new dress specifically for the occasion, and the both of you were looking forward to it. That was until you made your first mistake.
Now, you were a brat. Plain and simple. But the fun part about your relationship with Noah was that he didn’t mind it. He enjoyed the playfulness. He enjoyed the challenge. He enjoyed putting you in your place. What he didn’t enjoy, though, was the roles reversing. He was the one that did the teasing in your relationship, but usually only in situations that he found appropriate. And his company’s banquet dinner was not the appropriate situation for you to be teasing him.
Your boyfriend’s method of warnings for you was a countdown system, and he was generous with it, too. Three strikes? No. He started at five, telling you a number as a warning, and each time you acted up he went down until he reached zero. Then you were in for it.
When you two had arrived to the dinner, Noah was introducing you to the guys from his department. They complimented you abundantly, making your face warm from the attention. Noah’s eyes held sparkles in them, pride blooming in his chest. But when he pulled you into his side and your hand discreetly squeezed his ass, his smile faltered. His eyes connected with yours and then he was leaning in close to your ear. “Five,” he whispered.
Still, you persisted. Not even ten minutes later, you were finding your seats at a round table that held eight people. Noah was the only one at his table that had a plus one, so all of his (single) coworkers were sat around the table. One of them, named Nicholas, had seemed to take a particular liking to you despite Noah’s presence. He joked that the “princess should sit next to him” and you took him up on the offer, knowing very well that it would have your boyfriend fuming. This time you were fully expecting it when he roughly spoke into your ear, “Four.”
After that you had mellowed down, but not for too long. You had started complaining that your feet hurt from your heels. Noah assured you that it would only be about thirty more minutes until you two left. But you continued to pester him, practically begging him to bring you home earlier. Your fingers tugged at his coat pocket, trying to get his attention, but he was busy downing the rest of his champagne. When the flute hit the table top, his hand reached over to your lap and gripped your upper thigh. The action had your eyes locking with his, and he saw the flare of excitement in your orbs. He was already planning what he was going to do to you. “Three.”
Finally, once Noah decided it was time to go, he helped you into the passenger seat of his car. The ride home was quiet for the most part; you knew he was in a mood from your behavior at the banquet, and yet you still felt like pushing his buttons. You feigned an innocent look and set your fingers delicately on the bicep of his arm that rested on the center console.
“Noe, will you take a shower with me when we get home?”
He scoffed. That was it. That was all he gave you.
“Well?” your voice dripped with entitlement. With audacity. You watched his jaw tighten at your question. His knuckles grew pale as he gripped the gear shift harder.
“Two.”
You shut up after that. A wise decision. But you weren’t done yet. Not even close.
Once you were home, Noah did his usual night routine of checking the house. Checking the alarm system and the door locks. While he did that, you went to the bathroom to take off your clothes and start on your own night routine of self care. When he got to your bedroom, you were in only your undergarments, makeup still on your face. You were taking off your jewelry and putting it back into your jewelry box. He stopped in the doorway between your bathroom and bedroom, arms crossed over his chest as he simply watched you. Your eyes met his briefly, and his gaze sent a chill down your spine. Oh, you were definitely in for it.
“Had your fun tonight, didn’t you? Grabbing my ass in front of my friends? Acting like a whiny child?”
You shrugged, “Had to keep myself entertained somehow. No offense, babe, but your coworkers are kind of boring.”
He scoffed again, and once again, there was no humor behind it. He peeled off his coat, tossing it into the hamper beside the door. Then he loosened his tie, leaving it half-tied as he undid every button of his shirt. The two garments were pulled over his head and joined the coat. Then the silver of his belt buckle was clacking together as he unfastened it. The sound had you growing wet between your legs. The strap was swiftly yanked from the loops on his waist and sat, folded in half in his palm.
“Yeah? Need I remind you that you were so excited to go tonight that you had me take you dress shopping? Huh? You should be grateful.”
He had no idea how far you could go. How far you wanted to go. But it was far.
“I am. It will look really cute in my closet. Looks better on the floor though,” you smirked to yourself, knowing he was watching your every move, your every expression, in the mirror. You turned around to face him, and he walked closer to you.
“One.”
This was it. The moment where you decided your fate. It was the last thing you would be able to decide until he was done with you. Until he decided that you had enough. That you learned your lesson.
“Wanna keep talking? You should thank me for taking you out tonight. I could’ve left your sorry ass at home all alone,” he said, his hardened gaze never leaving your own, impish one.
“I probably would’ve been better off. At least then I could’ve gotten off by myself. I’ve wanted you to fuck me all night, and that clearly hasn’t happened.”
In a moment too quick to register, he had you caged against the bathroom counter. His hands held each end of his folded belt, the black leather strap digging into your back as he pressed you against him. You couldn’t escape if you wanted to, but let’s be honest, you didn’t want to. You had him right where you wanted him.
Well, he had you right where he wanted you.
“Zero,” his voice was scarily stern when he commanded you, “Get on the bed. Now.”
That’s how you ended up flat on your stomach, your cheek pressed into the sheets of your bed, his lingering cologne filling your nose. Thoughts were barely forming in your mind as he fucked into you ruggedly from behind. He had straddled the back of your thighs and fed his thick cock between your folds. He didn’t bother asking you how you wanted it like he normally did; he didn’t care. Whatever you wanted, you didn’t deserve it. It was all about him and what he wanted. And right now he just wanted to use you as his personal toy. He wanted to fuck you so good that he finally shut you up, and it seemed to be working so far.
The only words that were (barely) leaving your mouth as he drilled your hips into the mattress was moans of his name plus a few expletives. Though, he couldn’t really make out what you were saying because the sheets muffled you. He smirked as he slapped your ass cheek, and you responded with a whine.
“All bark and no fucking bite. You real quiet when you’ve got my dick in you. I should fuck you more often, then maybe you’ll finally act right,” he spoke breathlessly as he continued to thrust between your thighs with conviction, “But you would like that too much. And brats like you don’t get what you want.”
“Noe-“ you groaned, “Wanna-“
“Don’t,” he cut you off, “I don’t care what you want. And you better not cum until I tell you to.”
“Please,” you wailed, tears welling up in your desperate eyes. He rolled his eyes. He could feel you tightening around his cock, so your orgasm was only a minute or so from happening. He couldn’t have that.
He pulled out suddenly, causing you to protest and push your hips up for friction. His hands held your hips down firmly, and all you could do was squirm in his grip.
“Cut it out, or you won’t cum at all.”
You instantly fell still, sniffling innocently. He knew you too well, though, and saw right through your pathetic act.
He was growing even more impatient, his raging boner making him irritable. He decided you wouldn’t be cumming any time soon, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t. You made a startled noise when he pulled your hips up just enough for him to feed his tip through your thighs again. But that’s all he did. You were waiting to feel full again, but the sensation never came to fruition. You moaned his name, peeking over your shoulder at him. But he just watched himself sinking between the flesh of your thighs. He got himself off like that, bucking between your legs. He fed off of the disgruntled noises you made. The way you begged him to put it back in. The way you begged him to fuck you. The shameless desperation in your voice. This is what he lived for. Sure, you were a brat—and a mouthy one—but it was worth it dealing with you when he got you like this at the end of it all.
“Fuck, you feel so good like this, baby,” he grunted, feeling his orgasm brewing.
“My pussy feels better though,” you practically mewled.
“Yeah, you would want me to say that, huh?” he mocked you, knowing it was true. Your pussy was better, and you knew that. He knew it. But he didn’t need to say it.
He came shortly after that, hips stuttering against yours. The sheets underneath you grew wet and uncomfortable, and you were upset that he came on them instead of inside you. You wondered if that was really all he was going to do to you tonight. Use your thighs, and pathetically leave you to your own devices.
You lay there on the bed, a frown settled on your lips as you started to accept your fate.
“You’re lucky I’m in a decent mood today. You’ll only get ten.”
Instantly you felt relief flood into your entire being. Ten spanks; you could handle that. The last time you had gotten punished was for sending nudes to him while he was at work, and he gave you a good thirty smacks (fifteen on each ass cheek). Your skin was marked for days and the subtle sting lasted even longer. You enjoyed a good spanking, but sometimes they could be more pain than pleasure. Ten would be perfect.
You tried not to seem to happy, in case he decided to up the number. You waited patiently and quietly, just like he always wanted you to be. When he sat beside you and patted his thigh, you climbed into the usual position.
Your knees dug into the mattress on one side of him while your hands secured your upper half on the other side of his lap. If you were to lower yourself, your stomach would be lying on top of his thighs. But he wanted you to use your strength to hold yourself up—this was a punishment after all.
“You’re gonna keep count like a good girl, right?” he asked.
“Yes sir.”
He hummed in approval, his hands already kneading your ass. Your cunt felt a cool breeze from the A/C circulating in the room; you shivered.
“And you’re already wet? I barely even did anything yet,” Noah commented, shaking his head, “Let’s add another one.”
You whine “Eleven?” you asked incredulously.
“Yep. Count ‘em.”
Slap.
You gasped, not expecting the first one so soon. After a second you said, “One.”
Nine slaps against your cheek later, that familiar, searing sting was permeating throughout your lower half. It didn’t help that he left his wedding ring on, which only hurt even more. You were almost certain there would be an outline of his hand as he did every single smack on your left ass cheek.
“How many is that again, baby?”
“Ten.”
“Make this lucky number eleven,” he smirked to himself as he landed one, last, good slap on top of the same spot he had been going at. Your body flinched at the impact, and your cunt clenched around nothing, oozing a little more arousal out. This wasn’t unnoticed by your oh-so-observant husband who then spread your cheeks apart to get a good look at it, “You really like this shit, don’t you?”
“Mhm,” you nodded, secretly praying for him to touch you, lick you, fuck you, anything.
“You don’t really deserve to be treated nicely after your bratty behavior today, though, huh?”
“I’m sorry, baby, really. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. We can go to your favorite lunch place, my treat! I’ll even get dessert.”
He scoffed out a laugh, “So desperate”.
You let out a small sigh of relief as you felt his fingertips rub over your wet cunt.
———
Three times, your boyfriend had basically taken you by the hand, leading you to the very brink, the precipice, of an orgasm just to rip it away from you right before you could have it. Each time a whine would tear through your throat and escape through your lips before he would hush you with a kiss, telling you that would be the last one. But it wasn’t, it never was. He was in one of those moods again.
Noah would often get into these sadistic moods where he would thrive off of edging you, denying your release over and over and over again until he finally felt some sympathy for you. He luxuriated in the way your brows scrunched together and your mouth parted to let out a noise of unfathomable pleasure before it turned into squeaks of disappointment and frustration. With the little stunts you pulled at the banquet, you deserved the pain-pleasure of being denied. A smile would spread across his rosy lips when your knuckles would tighten then unfurl after being played for the nth time. It was all a game to him, and he only scored points when you looked disheveled, disheartened, and dissatisfied.
“Noe- Noah, please,” your voice came out in cracked breaths, desperation dripping off of your words.
“Yes, baby?” he was so patronizing in the way he addressed you, like he was so innocent.
“I need to cum,” you whimpered like a wounded animal, begging for mercy, “Please.”
“You need to?” he repeated, “Or you want to?”
“I-,” you had to be careful, because however you answered next would determine your fate in the next few minutes, “I need to.”
“That's so?” he asked after a moment of consideration.
You nodded, hissing when his fingertips touched the bruises he left from gripping your thigh while fucking them. The corners of his lips twitched, wanting to form a wicked smile. He continued to trail his fingers along your skin, over your hips and waist, past your navel, creating goosebumps in their wake. Up the center of your chest and the column of your throat, finally the digits came to a halt at your chin. They tilted your face towards his own as he now hovered close to you on your shared bed. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, before he spoke.
“Then I shouldn’t make my love wait any longer, huh?”
A venomous undertone was latent in the way he spoke. Your eyes began to tear up as you realized this will either be the finale of your torment or just another round of his cruel little game. You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take, but you wanted to cum so bad you couldn’t think straight anymore.
You breathed deeply in and out of your nose, gritting your teeth behind tight lips as Noah’s fingers went back between your thighs, drawing meaningless lines and curves with the lightest touch possible. The skin between your thighs was sticky from the amount of arousal that had built up over the past thirty minutes. Thirty minutes of amusing Punishment turned into agony.
The first time, he had you pressed against the wall, your clothes still on. His knee was pressed against your cunt, expertly bucking up between your thighs until you were crying out his name and gripping onto his shirt for dear life. Then he was pulling away, tossing you onto the bed unceremoniously.
The second time, he was eating you out, relentlessly lapping at your clit like a piece of candy. And he didn’t stop until you were squeezing your legs around his head, moans spilling from your pretty lips. The same lips that whined out when he came up with a wet smirk on his own lips, mischief prominent in the way he moved up to kiss you.
The third time, he had been making out with you fervently, the two of you a mess of tangled limbs and mashed lips and teeth. He couldn’t hold back his grunts as he slotted his hips between yours and humped you. Both of you were still in your clothes, but only undergarments. You could practically feel his erection against your pelvis, the tip moistening his boxers as it bumped against your folds with every thrust of his hips. You were so close that third time, the closest you had gotten, only for him to pull away with a laugh when he noticed how pathetic you looked.
But now was the fourth time, and it seemed he was going to finger you. Usually your boyfriend liked to cum inside of you, so your chances of cumming soon were looking slim to none. Your chest deflated when you came to the realization, and Noah noticed the shift in your expressions. A crack formed in his sadistic, playful demeanor.
“Want you to cum on my fingers. You can do that, can’t you, baby?” he kissed your cheek lovingly as his fingers finally slipped between the cushions of your thighs. The sides of his hands accumulated the arousal from your skin while his fingertips collected it from the depths of your slit. A chill went down your spine as you finally got him to touch you, like, actually touch you. Not with his knee or his tongue, “ Y/N?”
“Yes,” you panted, already having forgotten the question. All you could think about was the pads of his middle and ring fingers teasing the slick skin around your clit. Your hips were bucking into his, yearning for more of him. He found it amusing, a cocky smile showing as he finally moved his fingers to your hole, dipping them in. His eyes watched your face contort with pleasure as he slowly sunk his fingers deeper, knuckle by knuckle, until he couldn’t go any more.
He slowly pulled his fingers out before thrusting them back in, repeating those fluid movements again and again. He created a pace that had your head digging into the pillows and your back arching. Your hands were clutching at his arm and the bed sheets, your fingernails denting his skin and your fingers twisting the sheets in their grip.
You were painfully aware of the wet sounds coming from between your legs. The squelching caused your ears and cheeks to burn with embarrassment, but it only turned Noah on more than he already was. He loved knowing that he could make you this wet. That with a little foreplay and teasing, he could turn you into the biggest mess, and all without you cumming. If his pride could be measured it would’ve broken a scale by now.
“Cum on my fingers,” he said, gaze intense as he watched you get closer and closer to release. He knew your tells so well by now. The way you clenched around him was a dead giveaway, but your thighs also twitched and shifted, like you wanted to run but had nowhere to go. Your chest moved sporadically with your uneven, rugged breaths. Your moans became unbridled and carnal.
“Can I?” you whimpered, praying this wasn’t just some cruel joke he was making before he ripped the rug out from under your feet again.
“Yeah, baby, come on. Make a mess on my fingers, I want you to.”
Before he could even finish talking, you were already letting out a moan-like sigh, your hips pressing up against his soaked fingers. As soon as you finished, they fell back against the bed, and you were now aware of just how wet the sheets had gotten. But you didn’t care in that moment, and you wouldn’t for a while longer. You only cared about the buzzing sensation riding throughout your lower half, like electricity running through an electric fence. It crackled in your abdomen, your thighs, your toes, your clit. You forgot how good it felt to actually cum. Maybe now you were starting to understand why Noah got off on doing this to you
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Ending notes) just a quick thanks for this request!
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beomiracles · 6 months ago
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heyy, can u do a med student reader x idol txt pair becuz i need to feed my delusions lol, also i love ur work sm :)
「 C'MON NURSE 」
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DREAM RECALL “I…I don’t know if…if it’s something I should..” — “oh come one”, he leans forward as the smirk on his lips only grows, “don’t tell me you can’t have a little fun, nurse?” 
wc -> 1.6k
pairings idol!yeonjun x medstudent!gn!reader warnings none !
#serene adds ✎... ah this has taken me forever to get around to and I sincerely apologise >.< I had to research a bit for this one, so if I've gotten any facts wrong feel free to point them out ! part 2 with smut when? ahah joking (probably)
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Wiping your sweaty palms on your white robe, you try your best to steady your breathing. The hospital was bustling with life, patients crowding the hallways and the phones at the front desks chimed nonstop. In other words it was a busy day, an extremely busy one — much so that you had received a most unique task. 
Five weeks into your internship at the hospital you had been assigned your first patient. To say that you were nervous would be an understatement. Still, you knew that this was how your work days were going to look like, once you finished med school. And while nervosity built in your stomach with each step, you also felt giddy with excitement. 
The contrasting feelings combined made for an almost electrifying buzz to course through your body. Once you reach the small room you had been assigned, realization sets in and you have to swallow a small gulp. With a trembling hand on the door, you take one final deep breath before swinging it open. 
Upon stepping inside you’re met with a young man, possibly in his mid twenties, sitting on the stretcher as his legs sway mindlessly in front of him. His head snaps in your direction and as your gaze meets his you’re taken aback by how handsome he was. Were all your future patients going to be this good looking? 
A small awkward smile presents itself on your lips and you give a rather stale introduction. The man grins as he stretches his hand out, “Choi Yeonjun”, he says as you take his hand. His grip was firm and you almost lost track of yourself as you allowed your eyes to linger on his own. 
“Didn’t know they had nurses this young”, he comments as he eyes you with a mischievous glint. Your face suddenly flushes with color and you awkwardly clear your throat, desperately hoping he couldn’t tell. “I’m a med student, I just happen to be doing my internship here..” you explain as you flatten out your white robe nervously. “Though I am working to become a fully trained nurse and.. and I do have the necessary skills to help you today”, you quickly add, cursing yourself for stammering. 
Yeonjun smirks, “I don’t doubt it, nurse.” Perhaps it was your nerves speaking, or the fact that the man before you was undoubtedly attractive — but you could have sworn that his voice held an almost flirtatious tone. Shaking your head slightly, you will such thoughts away as you turn your attention to your work. 
“May I ask what brought you here today?” Bringing out a small moveable table of utensils to busy yourself as Yeonjun begins explaining. “Well my left shoulder has been hurting immensely recently, I think I might’ve accidentally tore it on stage and–” 
“On stage?” 
The questions slips from your lips and you almost slap a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from interfering further. Yeonjun doesn’t seem to mind as he smirks, “I’m a dancer”, he says as he watches your expression morph from surprise to something more of an embarrassed one. A dancer? Your mind immediately began racing with thoughts that probably weren’t appropriate in your current situation. 
Upon noting your flustered expression Yeonjun chuckles, “not that kind of dancer I assure you.” Nodding gingerly you mumble out a quiet “no of course not..” How silly of you to jump to such conclusions; and about a patient no less. You could only hope that he didn’t make a complaint to your boss. 
“I’m a singer too”, he then adds in a seemingly unbothered voice and your eyes snap back to him in evident curiosity. He frowns, “have you not heard of our group?” he asks to which you shake your head, surely you would remember such a handsome man. Yeonjun purses his lips as he gives a small shrug, “tomorrow by together, sound familiar?” 
Once again you shake your head, rather embarrassed over your lack of general knowledge. Your patient doesn’t sound offended, “what a shame, nurse”, he grins. You thought he had a nice voice, so it would make sense for him to be a singer. But a singer and a dancer? Well that was impressive. 
“Do you mind telling me for how long and during which occasions you have been experiencing these pains?” you ask as you sanitize your hands once more. “Eh, about a week, maybe a little more”, Yeonjun ponders, “it hurts almost whenever I use my left arm, quite a bitch to train with.” 
Nodding along with his words your mind rummages through possible solutions. “I’ll need to examine both your shoulder and the mobility of your arm in order to determine how severe your tear is”, you explain and Yeonjun nods. “Would you need me to take off my shirt, nurse?” he asks as a smirk tugs at his lips. 
“Ah, that won’t be necessary”, you assure him as you feel your cheeks heat up. “I’ll only need your left arm to be free.” — “Alright” he shrugs as he wriggles his left arm free from his shirt, which inevitably rides up his stomach, exposing his perfectly toned torso. You have to pry your eyes from wandering and instead focus on his injured shoulder. 
“Do you mind me touching you?” Despite only executing your work, you thought consent played an important part in getting treatment. “Please do”, Yeonjun smirks and from the corner of your eye you could’ve sworn you saw him throw you a small wink. Gulping, you give yourself three mental slaps — it was just work. If you couldn’t stay professional when a slightly attractive patient entered the room then how were you to do this for a living. 
Get it together, a small voice in your head hisses and you couldn’t agree with it more. You try your best to focus on his shoulder, fingers moving across his soft skin to prod and squeeze at the flesh. Upon pushing against a particular spot, Yeonjun flinches away from your touch and you give him a knowing glance, “here?”, he nods. 
“You’ve most likely tore a tendon”, you state as your fingers continue to prod around the area. Yeonjun frowns, “a what?” You give him a dismissal wave of your hand as you motion for him to lift his arm, earning a painful grimace from him. “If you’re lucky it’s only partially torn, meaning it has yet to detach from your bone.” Yeonjun’s lips part in surprise, “that can happen?” You give him a small nod, “indeed it can.” 
You continue to move his arm in several directions, all leading to groans of pain from your patient. “But judging from the way you can move it, I’d say you’re quite lucky.” Yeonjun gives you a look of disbelief and you have to resist the urge to giggle. “How’s your strength? Can you lift things as normal, disregarding the pain of course?” He looks thoughtful for a moment before nodding, “yeah I can do everythin’, just hurts like a motherfucker”, he grimaces. 
“Well it’s a good thing you came in as early as you did”, you say as you let go of his shoulder and motion for him to pull his shirt back on. “If you had continued to put pressure on your torn tendon it might’ve just ripped entirely.” Yeonjun sighs as he gives his shirt a final tug , “so what’s your prognosis, nurse?” 
“Well, firstly you’ll need to rest”, you note as you get up to open one of the cabinets, rummaging through the variety of medications, “and if you desire to keep training then all activities regarding any use of your shoulder must be excluded.” Upon returning with a small package Yeonjun lets out a huff, “then how do I dance?” he questions to which you shake your head, “you don’t.” 
“You sure there’s no way around this, nurse?” he pouts and you shake your head once more. Running his good hand through his dark hair, Yeonjun looks at you, “that’s a shame, I was hopin’ to ask you to attend our concert next week”, he admits and you blink in surprise. He was going to ask you what? 
“I, I uhm, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunities once you’re recovered..” your brain is foggy as you scramble for words to form at least one coherent sentence. Yeonjun’s lips curl into a smirk as he eyes your flushed expression, “then, can I convince you to see me for coffee instead?” 
His bold questions keep catching you off guard and you fiddle with the medication in your hands. “I…I don’t know if…if it’s something I should..” — “oh come one”, he leans forward as the smirk on his lips only grows, “don’t tell me you can’t have a little fun, nurse?” 
Suddenly you begin to feel as if the room might’ve emptied its supply of air; your face growing increasingly hot by the second as you avoid his lustful gaze. “I uh…I’ll prescribe you some ibuprofen”, you quickly turn to the small desk in an attempt to shield your very telling face, “it helps with inflammation, take them together with your meals for the next three weeks, it’ll reduce any swelling as well as pain”, you ramble as your trembling fingers sign the necessary papers. 
Taking a deep breath, you turn back to Yeonjun who was watching you with an amused expression. You hand him the small package and watch his smirk double in size as his eyes scan the small paper. “You got it, nurse.” 
It isn’t until the doors to your small room closes behind him that you breathe out the sigh you had been holding in for the past thirty minutes. But as your breathing steadies, your heart continues to race. Was it such a good idea to have written your phone number on the prescription paper? 
As your phone buzzes in your back pocket you realize that it most definitely was.
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tonyboneysblog · 7 months ago
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MOTHER HEN: PART FOUR
parings: hawks x mother!reader
word count: 3.2k
warnings: none!
notes: “die Ryuji” we all say in unison while holding hands. (Thought it would be appropriate to post this on Mother’s Day…)
summary: You, the mother of Fumikage Tokoyami, are just a simple nurse! Who caught the eye of a certain pro.
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It had only been a few days since the villains attacked U.A. high, your son Fumikage said he had something important to tell you.
“Don’t get mad, okay?” Tokoyami says while twirling his fingers together.
“Just tell me Fumikage” you reply with annoyance. you hated it when Fumikage dragged things out, felt like he was about to tell you a family member died but really all he did was accidentally break a plate.
you don’t know why he became like that, he used to just clean it up and go on with his day.
“U.A. is going to have their sports festival, and I was wondering-“
“Already? Didn’t they just get attacked by villains.” You say with a disapproving tone, seriously what was U.A. doing…
“They wanted to prove that this attacked hasn’t affected us.”
“I doubt that’s going to go well.”
showing the villains all of the students skills sets is such an amazing idea U.A.! You thought with sarcasm dripping from it, you didn’t want to say that infront of Fumikage- he likes that school too much.
Fumikage hesitates slightly, “Do you think you be able to see it?”
You sigh. “I’ll have to see my schedule.”
Fumikage looks down in disappointment but tries his best not to show it.
“But hey, I’ll try my absolute best to see my amazing boy win.” You tap his chin, making his eyes face you.
“Promise?” He says quietly.
“Pinkie.” You raise your pinkie finger, Fumikage chuckles and shakes his head.
“You can’t break a pinkie promise, mama.” He interlocks his pinkie with yours.
You smile at him, “Wouldn’t dream of it, Fumi.”
You were glad that Fumikage asked you to watch him at the sports festival, all your friends joke about how he’s just some emo teen who’ll scream at you about how “it’s not a phase!”
you didn’t really care if it wasn’t a phase anyway. You’ll love Fumikage in whatever form he’s in.
Speaking of your friends, they have recently asked you to go clubbing with them on the weekend saying, “you need a break, sweet cheeks.”
You accepted gratefully and as the clubbing day came close Fumikage always came home and told you all about his classmates.
He spoke a lot of one named shoji, you hope with all your heart they become good friends.
When Fumikage was younger his only friend was dark shadow.
you never want to hear him say, “what’s wrong with me, mom?” Just because kids
used to be scared of him and his quirk.
Now it was time to do one of your favorite things ever, but groceries.
You caught Fumikage trying to sneak out of the house and do it himself but you tackled him back into his bed until he gave up.
Grocery shopping was always so calming for you, Fumikage used to come all the time until some old women asked if he was even yours.
sure he had a bird head just like his father but- still super rude!
Putting your groceries into the cart then checking them off your list, you finally made it to your last one.
Chocolate chip Cookie mix.
Fumikage recently said that the cooking hero made one of the best cookies he’s ever eaten and you will never accept that.
Mamas cookies will be better! well when
you can actually grab the box.
The box mix was on one of the highest shelves in the store, you jump once to grab it- you miss.
you jump again, and miss.
Thirds times a charm right? You jump once more and instead of grabbing it you just push it back more.
well you suppose it’s time to start climbing shelves.
But then a calloused hand came to save you, you immediately think it’s hawks- he’s always somewhere near you.
A deeper voice say your name, “Y/n..?”
Not hawks.
You don’t turn around, your too scared to
suddenly your thankful to that old women who accidentally made Fumikage stop coming with you, you wouldn’t want him here-not now.
You turn around.
.
.
.
Hawks off days were usually spent inside relaxing or trying his very best to actually relax.
lazily getting one of bed, the one with your weighted blanket, he makes his way to the Kitchen.
Grabbing the cereal box, he tries his best to pour it into the bowl but nothing goes in.
Well looks like he needs to go the grocery store.
Getting dressed in a simple outfit he makes his way outside then flies off to the store!
hawks always liked his little adventures, he hoped he’d see you on this one but he highly doubts it.
But hey, speak of the devil because you’re right there in the aisle when he walks into the store!
Seems like you’re talking to a man, nice looking, about 6’ foot with dark brown hair.
Hawks has never heard you talk about your friends, mostly about your son- what was his name again?
You look…scared? Which is weird because at first hawks just thought this was an old friend you were talking to but..
why would you look scared?
Hawks sends over a small baby feather to let you know he’s there, you shouldn’t be scared.
he’ll keep you safe.
His feather tickles your back softly, you jump at first but keep your attention towards the man infront of you.
“So, how’s Fumikage?” His deep voice says.
“Fine.” You say quickly.
He sighs, “look y/n, I know we left off on a bad note but I’m better now.”
He says all of these words so soft and kind, but you remember when that same exact voice pinned your son against a wall and screamed at him.
why would Ryuji even care about how Fumikage is doing.
“Y/n?”
You snap out of that thought, “what.”
“It’s nice to see you again, you look good.”
Ryuji and that sliver tongue of his, always trying to butter you up.
“Thank you, Ryuji, but I have to leave.. Fumi-“
“Could I talk to you a little bit at least.” He raises his voice.
He’s blocking you in, what are you supposed to do?
“Please Ryuji-“
“Everything okay here, sweetheart?” A cheerful voice calls next to you.
It’s hawks, he has a lazy smile on his face you can’t really tell if he’s angry or not also- sweetheart?
“And who are you?” Ryuji asks hawks, who doesn’t know hawks though…
“Well I’m her-…” hawks paisss for a moment, “boyfriend!”
Ryuji chuckles softly, “sure you are..”
You sigh at hawks terrible attempt of pretend.
“Ryuji, that is hawks- he’s...” you look at hawks for a split second, “my boyfriend.”
You can see ss hawks wings flutter for a moment, not a good time for him to be acting all embarrassed.
Ryuji stammers, “Oh, I-..I just wanted to say to you y/n that I’m real-“
you cut him off, “why are you out so early?”
“Hell y/n, you know they don’t really double down on all the ‘domestic abuse’ bullshit.” Ryuji says curtly.
You can see hawks face twist in realization on who this man actually is, you’ve only told him about Ryuji once or twice before.
Ryuji continues, “where’s Fumikage anyway, don’t he always come out with you?”
“He stopped coming out a little while back.”
“Terrible thing really, he’s a good kid.” Ryuji says softly, almost like he’s talking to himself.
“Didn’t think he was a good kid when you were with me.” You say with distain dripping from your mouth.
You don’t really understand why your being like this with Ryuji, maybe hawks is giving you some boost of confidence.
“Don’t get mouthy with me.” Ryuji snaps back.
“Don’t you speak to her like that.” Hawks finally gets himself involved in the small spat.
Ryuji pauses, “Say that again, I dare you.”
You can see Ryujis fists tightening slowly, that’s never a good sigh with him.
“I will make your life miserable bird boy, even when you’re sleeping.”
Hawks steps closer to him, “You wanna go?”
You know Ryuji, he never makes an empty threat.
You grab hawks shoulder, “W-we’re sorry Ryuji.” You stare at the ground, not daring to face him.
“You need to keep his damn squawking to a minimum, y/n.” Ryuji says bitterly.
Hawks looks at you with confusion, you were just talking back to him weren’t you? Where did the confident side of you suddenly disappear to?
You step closer to Ryuji, whispering.
Hawks doesn’t pick up on it, ryuji seems like he’s staring straight through his soul.
You retreat next to hawks, Ryuji scoffs and starts to walk away towards the next aisle.
You let out the breath you were holding, finally relaxing.
“What’d you say to him?” Hawks cocks his head curiously.
“Nothing important.”
“Everything you say is Important to me.” Hawks says softly.
You pause, you won’t tell hawks about Ryujis quirk. You hope that he decides not to use it on him, even after you mouthed off to him.
Ryuji always used his quirk after you fought about something, you would go to bed and he would haunt you in your sleep.
You’d beg for his forgiveness every time, you never stood your ground.
Him hurting Fumikage made you change though.
“I just told him to stay away from Fumikage
That was a lie, hawks accepted it anyways.
Hawks shifts into his more happy go lucky mood, “Are you almost done with shopping?”
“Yea actually, I just needed that cookie mix up there.” You point towards the highest shelf.
Hawks chuckles softly and sends a feather up to get it, “make sure to give me some after you’re done baking.”
“Do you wanna make it with me?” You offer.
Hawks feels his heart skip a beat, you? Asking him to be in your kitchen? Baking sweet treats?
It wasn’t even a question.
“What kind of person would I be if I declined someone in need?” He smiles brightly.
You and hawks proceed to the check out, you’re quite lucky you encountered him at the store because there were almost far too many bags for you to carry.
you walked to the store as well so you couldn’t even put them all into your trunk, thanks for saving the day once again hawks!
He carries way more bags than you do, you’re a little worried he may blow out his back from all the weight but he seems fine.
You notice Ryuji as the two of you walk away, instead of staring at you he stares dead at Hawks.
You try your best to ignore it and continue walking towards your house.
After a couple minutes of walking, Hawks speaks up.
“Your house is just around the corner right?”
“Yep, it’s the white house.”
He snickers, “can’t believe I’ll be meeting the president.”
“Trust me when I say Fumikage is not the president.” You say sternly.
“Could I be your body guard, I heard you were hiring- Mrs President~” he says teasingly.
“You’re more like my stalker and less than some bodyguard.”
Hawks face twists into pure horror, sure he always bumps into you but that doesn’t mean he’s a stalker!
though he wouldn’t mind being your stalker in another universe…
You break through this thoughts with your small fit of giggles, laughing about his ‘silly face’ as you put it.
He was just glad you were looking at him.
Finally the both of you made it to your home, Fumikage left a note by the fridge that said he went to some training thing.
He always worried you, you much rather he called than leaving you some cryptic note- but then again you do the same thing.
Hawks picks up the note, reading it over.
“Hard worker ain’t he?” He chuckles quietly.
You smile, “Yea, just like his father.”
Hawks stiffens slightly, “His father?”
“Mhm, we met at the same hero school actually, he was the top of his class.”
Hawks raises his eyebrows in surprise, “You were training to become a hero?”
“Yea, then I found out I was pregnant with Fumikage so…kinda gave up on that pipe dream. That’s why I became a nurse instead, I still wanted to help people y’know?” You say with a soft smile.
Hawks nods with understanding hum.
He’s quiet for a moment, “And then you met Ryuji?”
“I met him when Fumikage was eleven, Ryuji promised me the world when reality he just gave me a rock.” You laugh at your own bad joke.
You hand hawks a bowl filled with the cookie mix and the milk, even though they’re not completely home made it’s a lot easier and less time consuming.
You speak up, “So, how about your love life?”
Hawks can feel himself choke on his own spit, you? Asking about his love life? His day just keeps getting better.
“Actually I’ve never really dated anyone, always too busy.” He sighs.
You gasp a small, “really?!”
He chuckles at your bewilderment.
“I mean I just thought some with your looks would have one by now!”
Hawks ears go red, even after all that training to control his poker face he still can’t resist blushing at a genuine compliment.
He can hear you chuckle, grabbing his ears and tugging slightly.
You giggle, he loves the sound, “Sorry for making you all bashful.”
One of his wings smacks your arm, you chuckle and shake your head then you bring a pan next to Hawks.
“Your done mixing right?”
He nods and you bump him out of the way, taking the bowl and starting to roll the mixture between your hands.
Hawks admires your handy work with content, he likes hanging around with you.
You spot him staring from the corner of your eye, “Need something, birdie?”
His wings flutter softly, “nothing in particular.”
You finish your work and place the cookies into the oven, Turing around face a relaxed Hawks.
Hawks watched you as you lean against the oven, staring back at him.
Hawks speaks quietly,
“Question.”
“Answer.”
“Is Fumikages father in a mental institution?”
Now it was your turn to choke on your own spit, “what?”
“I mean he must be insane for leaving someone like you…”
You laugh, “well aren’t you the charmer?”
“Only for you.”
You pause, is hawks pinning for you or something?
He steps closer towards you, looking away slightly.
You lean more into the oven, “hawks?”
He steps closer, caging you in, “y/n.”
You can feel his breath come in contact with your face, smells minty.
“I-“
The door suddenly opens, “mother, I’m home!”
It’s Fumikage!
…it’s Fumikage, who will soon walk into you and some man on the brink of canoodling.
You push Hawks off quickly, speedily walking over to where Fumikage is supposed to be.
“Fumi! Did you have fun training?” You open your arms for a hug.
Fumikage accepts it and hums.
You kiss the top of his head then ruffle his feathers, “you smell terrible.”
“Mother…”
“Go take a shower, cookies are in the oven.” You say with a smile.
Fumikage nods and starts to walk over to the bathroom, the one that passes the kitchen.
Until a terrifying scream comes from the kitchen, quite high pitched…
“Fumi?!” You call worriedly.
“M-MOTHER THERE IS A MAN IN OUR HOME.” You peek out into the hallway only to see dark shadow out, mostly about to beat the tar out of poor hawks.
You walk over to Fumikage quickly, “hey, hey! He’s just a guest!”
Fumikage retreats towards you, getting a good look at hawks.
He’s quiet, “you…”
Hawks starches the back of his head, “yea it’s me, the number three-“
“You’re the crazy stalker who was on my mother’s balcony!”
Hawks face twists into confusion, “wait what-“
Fumikage whips his head towards you, “Mother you need to call the police immediately!”
You sigh, “Fumi…”
This was the second time hawks had been called a stalker today….
Suddenly a devious plan spawns into your head.
“Fumi, there’s no one there.”
“What?”
You suddenly wave a hand towards hawks in a ‘get out of here’ motion.
“Fumi, look at me.” You grab his face, forcing him to look at you instead of hawks.
“Mama, are you okay…? Clearly there’s a man in our kitchen-“
Hawks suddenly jumps through the window in your kitchen, you didn’t really expect him to do that but okay…
“See Fumi, no one’s there!” You point into the kitchen as Fumikage whips his head to face the kitchen.
“W-what, he- he was just there!” Fumikage whips his head around wildly.
“How about you go cool off in the shower?” You suggest softly.
Fumikage looks down at his hands baffled, “I-i…okay.”
He walks towards the bathroom, closing the door.
You’re surprised that actually worked…
You walk into the kitchen, taking out the cookies that were just saved from being burnt.
Until a small little paper caught your eye, you pick it up and read it, it says a series of numbers.
“text me?” With a cute smiley face next to it.
now you have obtained hawks personal number.
What an eventful day?
Soon Fumikage returns from the bathroom, dressed in one of your old metal shirts from your high school days.
“Cute shirt.” You say sarcastically.
“Looks better on me.” He says sassily.
You wrap your arm around his neck and frazzle all of his feathers.
Fumikage claims that he hates it when you do that but he never resists it.
Fumikage tossed himself down onto the couch with a loud sigh, “y’know I didn’t fall for your whole kitchen trick.”
“Yea I know, smartie pants.” You toss one of the cookies you made towards Fumikage.
He catches it, “why’re you being so friendly with a pro hero..?”
“We keep meeting, next time you see him apologize for that stalker comment also.”
Fumikage takes a bite from the cookie, “can’t take it back if it’s true.”
“Fumikage.”
He sighs, “alright, I will.”
You pick up Fumikages feet and place them into your lap, Turing on one of those cult classic movies that he loves so much.
“Noticed you got Groceries.” Fumikage says Groggily, tired from training most likely.
“Yea, y’know who I saw there?”
Fumikage perks up, “that crazy old lady?”
“Nope, Ryuji.”
Fumikage stiffens slightly, “did he talk to you?”
“Small bit, no harm done.”
Fumikage relaxes slightly, “I should’ve gone with you.”
“It’s no sweat Fumi, your mama can protect herself you know?”
Fumikage sighs and nods, you notice his eyes flutter softly trying his best not to fall asleep.
He does anyway, you’re glad that Fumikage is getting the rest he needs because you want him to always be his best self.
And if Fumikage can never become his best self then you wouldn’t mind, you’d still love him anyways.
You stand and carry Fumikage to his room, placing him into the bed and tucking him in like he was 6 again.
You kiss him temple, and hope he dreams the best of dreams.
Someone who wasn’t doing that at the moment was Hawks.
He barely dreamed so when he went off to slumber land he didn’t expect something so terrifying to meet him there.
Blood and grim, screams of the people he never saved, it always haunted him in some way but never to this extent.
He wakes up in a cold sweat, your weighted blanket only giving him some comfort.
He was never like this before, they were never this intense.
He didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.
What horrified him most is that you were in it, you were scared.
Why is he dreaming like this..?
PART FIVE: MOTHER HEN: PART FIVE
TAG LIST:
@lost-in-horrorland @boopjuice @validveenus @qardasngan @arminsarlerts @star-the-rabid-dog @bunni-teeth81 @lightsgore @portgasdbruh
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Text
heartthrob ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
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note: the year is 2007, and as all romcoms do— none of this makes proper sense. (inspired greatly by notting hill, 1999)
summary: a coffee shop, the owner, hollywood's most famous actor, and a meet-cute
warnings: a cuss word here and there
genre: romcom
“Hello,” A baritone voice came after the telltale toll of the shop bell— baritone yet young, vaguely familiar but definitely not someone she knew well. “Are you open?”
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute!” She yelled back from the kitchen. She pursed her lips as she gave the cupboard a final thrust, the dodgy thing has always been a right pain in the arse.
“Hi, how can I help you, sir?” She asked cheerily as she emerged from the side door, the soles of her boots tapping loudly against the aged wooden floors.
She paused in her steps when she saw the sopping wet figure at the door, standing awkwardly and apprehensively at the threshold. Droplets of water trickled down from the sleeves of his coat down to the WELCOME rug placed conveniently at the entrance. “Oh, gods! Are you alright?”
“You don’t happen to have any tissues in here, do you?” He asked with a tight smile.
“Unfortunately, no. We’ve run out at the moment.” She scrambled to grab the nearest tea towel from the cabinet before rushing over to help him. “This’ll have to do.”
“Thank you.” Their fingers grazed as he took the fabric from her hold. “I’m sorry for making such a mess.”
“It’s fine! The floorboards needed a bit of a clean anyway.” She joked with a half-hearted grin in an attempt to ease the atmosphere. “I can have your jacket dried in the back if you want.”
“Oh, I can’t possibly intrude any further.” He waved his hand to veto her suggestion before tending to himself once more.
“You’re not from here, are you?” She asked with a sudden interest. With each minute he spent in her presence, she felt like she was closer and closer to figuring out exactly who this man was. She’d seen him enough times, surely. His name was at the tip of her tongue.
“The accent wasn’t a dead giveaway?” He grinned at her.
“Well, you get your occasional round of Americans here and there.” She shrugged her shoulders. “The sunnies were a bit on the nose though.”
He clicked his tongue, quickly pulling the pair down his face and placing it against the neckline of his shirt. “The weather report said it was going to be sunny.”
“Weather reports are dodgy.” She raised her eyebrow knowingly.
“I’m guessing it doesn't rain often where you’re from?”
“Twice every year,” He pursed his lips. “But I’m never around enough to know how true that actually is.”
“Sounds like you travel a lot.”
“A fair amount. My work keeps me away from home.”
“Ah,” She nodded her head. She must’ve seen him in a travel advert somewhere. “What do you do exactly?”
“Well, I’m an actor.”
She stopped to look at him more carefully, tilting her head sideways from one direction to the next to get a hint. She met his gaze momentarily, her eyes squinting as she wracked her brain for any clue of who he might be. He looked at her expectantly.
The dozens of movie posters she'd seen at the cinema came to her with a dazzling clarity. Ecstatic by her epiphany, she slammed her hand against the counter loudly— inducing a painful bang and an equally pain-stricken howl almost immediately.
“Are you OK?!” He asked with a panicked edge to his tone. He shoved the tea towel down his pocket carelessly as he ambled over to her. “I don’t know the emergency numbers here so I’m gonna have to either carry you or drag you— whichever comes first.”
She laughed loudly in amusement whilst nursing her hand, the pain slowly ebbing away as he continued to fuss over her. “I can’t believe it! Luke Castellan is in my depressing little shop!”
“Wait, fuck, are you sure you’re OK?” Luke mouth twitched, as if contemplating whether this was an appropriate time to laugh. He looked at her as if she’d gone insane. Maybe she did, maybe she actively was. This oddly seemed like the stuff of delusions.
“Yes, I’m fine!” She flipped her wrists as if to show him. “Healthy as a horse.”
He cracked a smile at her comment.
The bell let out a loud clang as a young man peeked his head into the shop, his umbrella left out in the street to protect him from the rain. “Luke! I’ve been trying to contact you for the last hour!”
“I suppose that’s your cue to leave then.” She smiled bashfully, the embarrassment catching up instantaneously. She was rubbish at this.
“I guess it is.” He hummed lowly with a grimace. He gave her a once over. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Luke, maybe hurry the fuck up?” The young man grumbled impatiently.
“Right,” She nibbled on her lower lip. “Thanks for coming around.”
“I’ll come back and actually buy something.” He said as he turned to leave.
“I’ll put you up to that.”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
She was in the middle of a yawn when a loud voice called from across the street, a familiar tea towel gripped between ring-clad fingers and a head of black curls bobbing through the crowds.
It was still quite early in the morning, but Notting Hill was buzzing with life.
“Hey!” Luke yelled as he hurriedly walked towards her, expertly maneuvering himself between the masses of people and the stalls that lined the road. “I accidentally brought this with me. I had it cleaned and everything.”
“Thank you,” She said as she received it. The keys to the shop dangled between her fingers, waiting to be used. “You could have done away with the old thing.”
“It felt right to give it back.” He gave her a smile, more performative than yesterday— dazzling and charming, nothing less from an actor, of course. “It might have been sentimental, being in a display cabinet and all.”
“Well, it’s memorabilia from a royal wedding some decades ago.” She responded with a blush. “My mum likes to collect these things.”
“At least it’s got some national value to it.” He raised his eyebrows.
“There’s that, yeah.” She chuckled. “My mum’s gonna be relieved, I’m sure. Thank you, Luke— may I call you Luke?”
He stared at her for a moment; what for? She wasn’t exactly sure, but it was certainly magnetic. She couldn’t move away and it felt like everything else aside from the man in front of her was a blindspot. Her eyes met his, and Luke’s grin grew imperceptibly wider and her heart thumped indescribably faster.
“Sure, yes, definitely.” Catching himself, he stood straighter. His face looked ruddy, either owed mostly to the sunbeams warming his skin or the excitement thrumming underneath his flesh. “I’d like that.”
He stuffed his hand into his pocket, just in time to tend to his phone’s shrill ringtone and its incessant vibrations. Luke groaned as he pulled it out. “It’s probably my manager. I have to go, unfortunately.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear, equally as red as his cheeks despite the lack of direct sunlight against her skin. “Sorry to hear that. Have fun spending the afternoon slaying monsters.”
“The movie's about a bunch of kids on a cruise ship actually,” He laughed as he began to walk away backwards, his eyes completely fixated on her.
“Well, have fun doing that then.” She waved him off with an amused smile.
“I doubt it.” He winked at her before turning around at the curb then jogging down to god knows where.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
“Hey, mum.” She greeted when she walked into their shared flat, the whistle of the kettle loudly whooshing from the kitchen. “Did someone ring the shop while I was gone?”
It took her mother a minute to respond, too enraptured by David Beckham’s impeccable left-leg hurl into the opposing team’s goal. She listened attentively to the live play-by-play narration as she made herself a cup of tea, the announcer was basically gripping his seat with anticipation. Telltale cheers of a victory echoed through the walls.
“Mum?” She called again.
“Oh, yes, sorry, dear!” Her mother replied distractedly. “There was a young bloke that called… think he mentioned his name was Luke.”
Thank the gods she was alone in the kitchen because the silent giddy squeals and foot stomps were definitely concerning. Christ, was this real life?
She cleared her throat and feigned nonchalance. She drummed her fingers against the marble surface of the counter, her nails absently digging against old remnants of a sticker. “And what did he say?”
“He said he’s staying at the Ritz under Hermes, so give that name to the concierge if you wanna call.” A beat. “Have you gotten yourself a boyfriend?"
“He’s not.”
“Be more definitive,” Her mother snapped. Teasingly, she added: “Not ever or not yet?”
“I’m not so sure, actually.” She clicked her tongue, wracked by pensive thoughts of juvenile daydreaming. She was getting ahead of herself, surely. She needed to approach this from a rational perspective: Luke Castellan had a whole life in Hollywood, decidedly not London. He had a bombshell girlfriend back at home with a career just as luxurious as his. He was a star burning brightly and she could barely get herself to flicker.
“Doesn’t sound like a ‘not ever’ to me.” Her mother responded with a lilt to her voice.
She swallowed thickly at how foreboding it sounded.
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thoughtfulfiction · 5 days ago
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Little Duckling
Author’s note: reposting my old work on this side blog! Let me know if you’d like to read a specific one. Thank you for reading!
Warning: pregnancy and childbirth
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Saturday 10pm
Justin had been asleep for almost two hours as you folded laundry and put it away in the nursery. Your induction was scheduled for Monday morning promptly at 8am and everyone within the Chargers organization knew that this was happening because your husband absolutely hated taking the day off. But this was understandably a special exception to the rule. You’d spent the last 9 months mentally and physically preparing yourself for this moment but the idea of having a human being relying on you for everything was still such a daunting task that you almost wished the day wouldn’t come. Not until you felt completely prepared at least.
And then the ache in your back and hips reminded you that your baby girl was quickly running out of room and would be making her entrance soon, whether you and your husband were ready or not. On the bright side, your stomach had dropped significantly in the last few days, allowing you to breathe easier and for Justin to poke fun at your pronounced waddle. He affectionately started calling you Mumble last week, from Happy Feet. The dad jokes were coming in strong.
You heaved yourself out of the chair you were parked in and were headed off to bed before a slight pain wrapped itself around the base of your stomach. The pressure moved from the back to the front, settling on a spot underneath your belly button. You stopped walking and used the wall to support yourself, rubbing small circles around the area until it passed. As a Braxton-Hicks veteran, you continued your trek to the bedroom, completed your nighttime routine and headed off to bed.
Sunday 2am
It happened again. The slight twinge of discomfort had you holding your breath for about 15 seconds before letting go and you had to take several deep breaths to recover. After a few minutes everything was normal again and you had to turn around to make sure that Justin was still asleep next to you. Throughout your pregnancy he’d become a much lighter sleeper, often waking up at ungodly hours to get you snacks or a few nights when you caught him talking to your belly, whether it was talking about the playbook or just telling her he couldn’t wait to meet her, it warmed your heart just the same. But you were thankful for now that he just missed that entire exchange because you were definitely not in labor…right?
Sunday 7am
You were definitely in labor. On a Sunday, when the Chargers were playing the Broncos at home. Of course. You’d experienced three contractions so far, just about four hours apart so you had plenty of time. There was no way in hell you were telling Justin. As soon as it was appropriate, you scooted yourself out of bed and went down to the home gym for some prenatal yoga and a good stretch, hoping it would provide a boost of positive energy. Then you hopped in the shower, allowing the warm water would relax your tense muscles and maybe help you delay the inevitable.
By 8:30 Justin was awake and making breakfast for the two of you while you sat on the couch watching New Girl. He brought your plate and a cup of orange juice to you which you were grateful for, but the thought of putting anything but the juice in your body made your stomach turn.
“Are you alright? You’ve barely touched your avocado toast and you’ve been devouring it the last few days.” He ran a gentle hand on your forehead like he was checking your temperature and caressed your cheek when he realized you weren’t abnormally warm. “I can make you something else before I leave if you want?”
“No, I’m fine! Just not hungry yet, I’ll probably eat later.” You lied through your teeth, desperately hoping that he would let it go. The excuse seemed to satisfy him enough for him to head back upstairs to watch some film and get ready. An hour and a half later, he headed downstairs just in time to find you stretching out your back, the cramp beginning to wash over you.
He replaced your hands with his own, slightly lifting your stomach to take the weight off for a bit. “Your stomach is hard as a rock,” he observed furrowing his brows and starting to piece things together. “Are you sure everything is ok?” His soft voice attempted to mask his worry filled words.
“Yeah I’m having a fake contraction, you know they’re so common these days.” You rushed out, attempting to use his extensive research against him. He could probably write his own version of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” with his newfound pregnancy knowledge. It was both impressive and scary how much he had grown to know what’s going on in your body before you did.
Although he nods his head in understanding, his face is still full of distress. And you could tell he was analyzing your words and tone of voice for any sign that you were lying, leaving you to mentally curse at the fact that he knew you so well and you’d need to work extra hard to convince him to go on like this was a normal day.
Although he let out a deep sigh, he didn’t ask any further questions. “I know, I just hate the thought of you being in pain and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
You tap his wrist so he can slowly drop your belly and you turn around in his arms. “You’re so cute, but it really isn’t that bad. A lot less painful than playing with ankle that’s hanging on by a shoestring I can tell you that.” You chuckle, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back and you felt compelled to return the favor, sensing he too needed some comfort. “Here’s what’s gonna happen today though. You are going to go and kick Denver’s ass then you’re going to come home, we’ll celebrate and then tomorrow you’ll be on your way to being the greatest dad to ever live. How does that sound?”
Justin chuckles, giving you a peck on the lips, nose and forehead. “If I’m half as good a parent as I know you will be, then I know I’ll be golden.”
“Stop it before I start crying, you know I’m super hormonal right now this isn’t fair.” You mumble, tears brimming your eyes. He gives you one last kiss before reminding you to call your friend Dani to stay with you, even though your moms were on their way to your home.
Once he pulled out of the driveway you could relax, letting out a deep sigh and patting your swollen middle. Crisis averted.
For now.
Sunday 12pm
Contractions were officially every hour and Dani was trying her best not to freak out in order not to freak you out. But she was definitely freaking out. What started out as more intense period cramps were becoming a lot sharper, so much so that you couldn’t even focus on Encanto, which was the last sign you needed to know that this was the real thing. You did manage to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and take a nap while she was with you, fluffing your pillows and telling you that you were doing amazing. Three hours later, there was a knock at the door and Dani went to open it for Holly and your mom. The two becoming best friends was probably the cutest thing in the world and your mom had even flown to Oregon three days before just to spend time with Holly and drive to California with her. They were the sweetest. And of course they brought snacks. There were lactation cookies for you in the freezer already but they brought more and they brought an abundance of food to eat during the game, which usually would have made your day, but today all it did was make you want to stick your face in the toilet.
You greeted the two women with hugs as Dani helped set up their spread and they immediately asked how you were feeling.
“I just woke up not too long ago so I’m feeling great now. Very ready to not be pregnant anymore so I can see my f—ohhh wow. Ow.” You groaned, one hand on your contracting belly and the other gripping the counter for dear life.
Dani’s eyes bug out of her head as she moves to rub your back. “That was the roughest one yet.” She was right, this one left your whole body sore, a loud reminder that things were definitely moving along.
“This one?” Your mom questions, looking between you and Dani. Then, she and Holly exchange a look.
“Oh my gosh sweetie, you’re in labor!” Holly exclaims, “we need to get a hold of Justin immediately. I’ll call Mark, I’m sure he’s already at the stadium.”
You cannot shake your head fast enough, “there’s no need to call him yet, that was the first bad one. And this game is important.”
“It’s Justin hun, every game is important,” Holly laughs, giving you a loving squeeze.
“But you know what’s even more important to him? You and that baby girl that’s getting ready to meet us soon. Are you sure you don’t want to tell him now?”
“I’m sure,” you sigh, allowing your mom to guide you back to the couch, sinking down into it with a groan. “Once the game is over he’ll be here and we’ll go have a baby. But not a moment before.”
Admittedly, it was getting harder to focus. Justin was playing great, but of course so was Bo Nix. The Chargers would score and the Broncos would answer. The Broncos would get a stop and the Chargers would force a punt. You were entertained but the battle happening within you was the most interesting one to the people in your house.
Your mom had gone down to find your birthing ball, which helped for about half a quarter, just in time for a Ladd McConkey touchdown to put the Chargers up by 10. By the end of the third you were forced into a squat behind one of the couches, spreading your legs to hopefully ease the increasing pressure on your hips. You breathed through the contraction, the sensation sending a pins and needles feeling near your tailbone. Holly made sure you stayed hydrated, having secretly texted her husband halfway through the fourth quarter when the game was firmly in hand to have their son home as soon as humanly possible. Contractions creeped on 30 minutes apart, leaving you panting and groaning in discomfort until your muscles relaxed.
Fifteen minutes later, you were pacing around the living room and you had to stop to hold onto the couch again, your mom helping you roll your hips as you felt thin beads of sweat building around your hairline. Things were getting real and scary and you needed Justin.
“What time is it?” You murmured, cupping your stomach with a hiss as the baby moved.
“It’s 7:15 and he’s on his way home, baby.” Your mom whispers, sensing your increasing distress, “he’ll be here soon.”
“My back hurts,” you state suddenly, a slight tremble in your voice. “Everything really hurts.”
Your mom grabs at your hips, squeezing them together to apply counter pressure, giving you momentary relief.
Dani was in charge of timing contractions and all you knew was the moment in between them where you could actually form a coherent thought. Time was no longer real. You headed upstairs for some time to yourself and a wave of nausea hit you and you emptied probably everything you’d eaten the entire day, which in hindsight probably wasn’t much. But you weren’t in the headspace to think clearly right now. You walked back towards to the bedroom and clutched the doorway, visibly feeling the heaviness of the baby moving down, almost sending you to your knees if it weren’t for the solid, calming presence that was suddenly in front of you.
“Hey babe.” You breathe out, feeling a little unsure that your legs were capable of holding you up until you could sit on the bed.
He pulled you into his arms as close as your belly would allow and pressed his lips your forehead. “Hi. Glad I could make it back in time. I knew something was off with you this morning,” he narrowed his eyebrows at you when he pulled away, walking you slowly back into the room placing a firm hand on the small of your back, making circles with it while holding your hand with the other. “Alright baby…long have you been in labor?”
You let out a dry laugh at his disappointed dad look. “Since 10 last night I think? But let’s focus on the important things, you played great and you won but man you guys really took a minute to shut the door on ‘em.”
“Right, the important things.” He says with a knowing smile. “I know you love football as much as I do now, but if you told me earlier I would’ve been at your side in a heartbeat. You know that, right?”
God, you hoped your baby had his caring heart. “I do know that, I really do. But I also knew that you’d be able to do both. The Chargers are your family too and—”
A contraction creeped up on you, leaving you to hold onto your husband’s forearms with a sharp sound of pain, the pressure reaching an overwhelming peak that you hadn’t experienced before.
“Squeeze as much as you want, it’s okay.” His voice attempts to soothe you but you couldn’t hear him over the animalistic grunt that escaped you. Your body tensed involuntarily and he could see your stomach hardening as the tension continued to build. There was nothing more he could do than hold you through it, until something gave way and the floodgates opened…literally.
Even he sounded breathless by the end of it. “Your water just broke.”
Sunday 10pm
Contractions in the house were terrible. But contractions in the car, with no cushion from the water bag made it feel like she was right between your legs.
“Justin, you have to go faster. Please.” You panted out, desperately clutching the grab handle and leaning your head back with a loud moan. “Can you turn on the air, I’m dying in here. And I need to put the seat back, my back is killing me, I’m sorry.” You felt like a turtle stuck on its back, waiting for someone to turn it over and set it free.
“Yeah, yeah do whatever you need. And you don’t need to apologize,” he pats you on the leg, “do whatever makes you comfortable, we’ll be there soon.” He kept looking between you and the road, slightly worried that he’d have to deliver the baby in the car. The only thing that slightly reassured him the whole drive was your sigh of relief when the fan came on. First babies were supposed to take a while but he’d missed the entirety early labor, so from the sounds that he was hearing he figured you were in or at the very least extremely close to the transition stage. His grip on the steering wheel tightened and remained that way until the birthing center came into view. Your parents had called ahead and would meet you there when given the word, so all you had to do was check in and you were brought to your private suite.
Seven centimeters dilated and without painkillers made your husband question any football toughness he thought he had. You were so close to meeting your baby and he was a mix of anxiousness, nerves and excitement. Most of all he felt so much love and admiration for your determination and strength. Holding off on telling him you were in labor so he could be there to get the job done with his teammates was one thing and it was a complete whirlwind to be there with you while you worked to bring your baby into the world.
Once he was finally able to tear his eyes off the baby’s heart monitor, all of his focus was back on you. He wasn’t going to say anything but the agony in your voice was really starting to take a toll on him. Months of mental preparation for this moment was nothing like the real thing and he felt utterly helpless, desperately trying to maintain some sort of control and be helpful in any way.
“Honey you’re shaking, are you cold?” Without even giving you time to answer he was up on his feet, reaching for his bag to grab the blanket he’d seen you drape over yourself on several movie night occasions.
You shake your head while your teeth continue to chatter, reaching for his left hand, “I think it’s the adrenaline. I’m okay I promise,” you shift uncomfortably in bed, trying to just go along with how your body is feeling and reacting. Your belly tightens, a white hot pain generating an unexpected moan as you palmed your stomach. Justin places his hand on top of yours, whispering to you that the contraction is almost over and constantly reminding you that you’re doing great.
The two of you decided to use gravity to your advantage and walk around the building since the entire floor was closed off at your husband’s request. He couldn’t risk anyone leaking the most private and cherished moment in his life.
“I can’t believe this is our last night as a duo.” Justin whispers, walking at a snail’s pace while you waddled alongside him. “It’s been a great ride, pal.”
“Wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else. And I have a feeling this ride is going to get a lot more interesting from here on out.” You gave your belly a soothing pat.
He strokes your back as you sway your hips again, “thank you for choosing me to be the one that gets to do this with you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, more than anything in the world.” You grin, pulling him in for a soft kiss. His hand cups your face as he pulls you in even closer. The kiss oozed joy and gratitude. Your husband wasn’t a man of many words, but his actions spoke volumes.
You squeeze his arm again suddenly as pain bubbles deep in your core and you rip yourself away from him to press your lips together to stifle a yell. “We need to get back to the room. Now.”
The noises leaving your body would have horrified you if you weren’t already sitting backwards on the toilet wearing only an oversized t-shirt, with your legs spread and the man of your dreams digging his thumbs into your back. “Harder please,” you groan, feeling like your tailbone is seconds away from shattering.
“I’m not getting a break,” you cry, clenching your jaw, leaning back and asking him to help you up. He hooks his hands under your arms and basically lifts you to your feet. “It’s not stopping, I can’t—oh fuck.” It felt like you were going to throw up, but out of the other end, which could only mean one thing. “She’s—Justin she’s coming right now. I have to push.” You took a breath and focused completely inward, your entire body going rigid, shaky straining sounds of effort pouring out of you.
The quarterback immediately sprang into action,“easy babe, breathe. I’ve got you.”
You held onto one of his hands and moved into a squat on your shaky legs as he pressed the red button on the side of the bathroom door, allowing your midwife to come in.
The baby felt like it was seconds away from falling out, everything suddenly feeling like it was moving a mile a minute. The midwife was saying something but the ringing in your ears was so loud you couldn’t focus on anything but getting your baby delivered.
After another throaty shove, you came back to yourself a little, feeling a gentle hand rubbing your shoulder. “Babe? You gotta slow down. Take a second, I can already see her a little bit you can give yourself some time.”
“I can’t, the pressure is too much!” Tucking your chin to your chest, you let out a yelp as you push again, using him as a solid wall to rest against as you spread your legs to give your baby more room. “Holy fuck your baby is huge,” your husband and the midwife both laugh, “I’m sorry it’s just—this is really hard.”
Pushing felt good, even though it left you shaking like a leaf in a cold and sweaty frenzy. At some point during the delivery he’d pushed your hair back with his lucky headband that was always around his wrist if it wasn’t on his head. It was the most intense experience of your life but you took one look at those bright green eyes and he reminded you that he was with you the entire time and you knew you could do anything with him by your side.
Remington Grace Herbert was born Monday morning at 1:42am with those exact same eyes that you fell in love with.
“Hi Remi,” Justin sobs, kissing her cheek. “We’ve been waiting for you, baby girl.”
“She sure knows how to make an entrance.”
You hand her off to her dad after scooting over to give him more room on the bed. He wraps a free arm around you, securely holding her in his other one, totally in awe. “She’s so perfect. You’re perfect. You did so amazing, I’m so freaking proud of you.” He kisses the side of your head.
You cuddle into him with a content sigh, “Our perfect little duckling is finally here.”
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eeldritchblast · 11 months ago
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Lae'zel is Autistic
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(Note: This post was written by someone with professionally diagnosed autism. A lot of what I'm about to say of Lae'zel, I can personally relate to! This is not intended as negativity or hatred of her character; rather, it is one of the reasons I adore her.)
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I really don't like that the writers have attempted to tone down Lae'zel's "rudeness" perceived by the larger fanbase. It reminds me too much of how "rudeness" is so often less about hostility and more about one's ability to perform social interactions to the standards of neurotypical people. So for the writers to decide that Lae'zel is too "rude" for not saying her please and thank yous every time she speaks, for being direct, for struggling to have two-sided conversations... well, to me, that's just saying that there was something wrong with her they felt the need to fix. I spent years with people trying to "fix" me in special ed. To teach me how to present as neurotypical, like memorizing appropriate responses to common questions, and pretending to hold eye contact by looking at people's lips. While I will admit it helps me in the workplace for example to perform these things, it also taught me to hate myself for being faulty in the first place. That's something I still struggle with to this day. So when a character like Lae'zel comes along, who I can relate to in her coded autism, I don't want to see her changed. I want to see her celebrated.
Here are some of the signs of autism I've noticed in Lae'zel:
Difficulty regulating and understanding emotion:
Lae'zel is a very passionate person, and can get carried away by that passion. At the same time, she is not very good at self-inventory of her emotions. After she defies Vlaakith in Act 3, she asks the player to help her understand what she is feeling, because she cannot place it herself.
Directness:
As said above, Lae'zel is vert blunt in the way she communicates. If you've picked up the game only in later patches, let me tell you that she was originally even more so. If the player asks Lae'zel why she is the way she is, she says it's just because she is githyanki. While I certainly think some of this could be attributed to a difference in culture, we meet other githyanki, and they do not carry the same speech and manner she has.
Taking things literally:
Lae'zel equally does not understand indirectness from others, or idioms. For example, when Shadowheart asks if they have "buried the hatchet" between them, (an American idiom to mean "making peace" which by the way, is not a very appropriate idiom,) she answers with "why would I bury a weapon?" Again, this could be attributed to a difference in background, but nonetheless something to relate to.
Dislike of small talk:
Literally the first thing Lae'zel says to you after you recruit her is, "chatter already? Tas'ki."
Inflection:
Lae'zel is voiced with minimal modulation of intonation or pitch. As such, she sounds monotone and serious, even when the words she says are lighthearted or joking.
Difficulty handling change of routine/expectancy:
When things do not go as Lae'zel is determined they are supposed to go--for example, the machine she thinks will remove her tadpole not working as she believed it would--she has wild, uncontrolled outbursts.
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There's probably even more one could list here, but for now I'm done. I may edit this later, though.
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