#(mostly bc i went through a lot of experiences on here but still!!)

[his-grapejuice]

my writing blog has 100 followers i will announce officially later but hooo boy

[gibbearish]

Congrats on sending that application!

THANK UUUUUU

[be-good-to-bugs]

hmm

[eybefioro]

(Kanji-less version, timelapse and ramblings under the cut)

ALSO OPEN THE IMAGE TUMBLR KILLED THE QUALITY AS USUAL

I wasn't sure sure which version was better, so here is the one without the ~~menacing~~ kanji! (And sorry. I'm sure the Kanji I did is horrible but I swear I tried my best)

So. Before some time before Good Omens consuming my every awaken thought, the media that lived in my head was JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Because of a certain thing I am working on, my mind end up connecting the two and I HAD to do something about it or else I'd go crazy.

(Cues 3 min time lapse bc i spent -checks app- ALMOST 46 HOURS on this thing. Fuck)

Since JJBA is one of my fixations, at some point I end up watching every single interview with Araki (the author) I could get my hands into, and lo and behold he actually shared about his process quite a bit over the years. We even have access to some timelapses of him working on illustrations!!! I tried to follow a bit of his process, and one VERY interesting characteristic of his work is the JoJo pose – very dramatic covers/panels that showcase the character. He often uses fashion shoots as a references (Araki is very inspired by fashion, architecture and music and there is a million references in his work it's very very interesting and fun) like this:

So there I go on Pinterest looking for a fashion photo that inspires me (Google was shit. What is happening to that search engine?) AND I FOUND IT

YALL. IT WAS LIKE A SHOT RIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN. I COULD SEE IT SO CLEARLY. Aziraphale and Crowley falling out of heaven together after the second coming. Azi holding him. Crowley giving the middle finger to all those fuckers bc HE GOT HIS ANGEL BACK.

But the thing is... the things is. I'm no artist. I have almost no experience drawing. And this is not exactly an easy pose, and is something pretty ambitious for a beginner like me (I can literally count on my hands the amount of digital drawings I have done. It's all on my blog even lol) so like.... the chances of this going well were very slim. But I am very happy with how it turned out!!

I have to thank @elenthyaolyenths and @gribouli LOTS for that. Elen teached me how wings worked, a bit of anatomy with that, a bit of how she makes those beautiful fluid pieces, Li taught me a bit about colors and light/Shadow. Their support was amazing and they're so so nice to me 🥹

I had so much trouble drawing this bc I'm still learning how digital painting works and how Ibis Paint works. Idk what half of the stuff there does LMAO yk the line work? All in one layer. Don't do that folks. I resized the canvas half way through and had to redo a bit of the line art bc I had to scale it a bit to make the proportions better. Half way in I figured out how to make masks (again, elenthya is an angel for telling me that exists) so I had to learn as I went how that thing works (I still don't know how to use it fully). Ibis Paint froze like 4 times bc my phone can't handle it well LMAO my precision is shit bc I mostly draw with my fingers so I had to gave up control and use the stabiliser on maximum... and so on.

I'm having so much trouble with everything in digital painting BUT IT'S SO MUCH FUN. THERE'S SO MANY POSSIBILITIES. I'm excited to keep going and learn more.

Back to the Jojo style. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I love harsh lines and shadows, the dramatic effects, the detail, the crazy perspectives, the colors... THE WAY ARAKI DRAWS SMOKE AND CLOUDS.

This was my ref for the background, and to represent the heaven Crowley is flipping off and that they're falling from. (fuck this scene in the anime broke me. BUCCIARATI MY BELOVED)

AND THE CLOTHEEEEESSSSS I HAD SO MUCH FUN IMAGINING WHAT THEY'D WEAR IN ARAKI'S STYLE. Obviously Aziraphale is once again sporting something inspired by the crepes look bc omg that was so OVER THE TOP. I'm sure araki would come up with something crazier and more interesting than what I did, but I still think this is a fair shot.

As much as I love JoJo's style I have to say it isn't really an art style made to depict softness. Like. I don't think Araki ever drew something that looks soft. All the characters are slim or super strong, and the few ones that are fat he didn't really... Well. I'm gonna say it. Araki doesn't draw fat people, and when he does I don't think they're a good depiction. As I said he doesn't do softeness lol nothing looks soft in his style, not even fabric I think. It's all sharp lines, dark shadows (again, I love it but yeah) and thin (or extremely big in the first parts) people. This fits really well with Crowley but not so much with Aziraphale. If this was a pose that showed more of him I'd probably not do a great job at it. I think I'd need to go heavy on trying to make his clothes look soft and big to try to make it better.

Now WwwwwiiiIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGZZZZZZZ!!!! Elen is such a magician at drawing wings. I can't believe she actually offered to help me with this one. I learned so much. I was taking inspiration from her work, I wanted to make them BIG and GLORIOUS as she does and I think I succeeded a bit at it (they're not as fluid and perfect as hers, obviously, but I think they still look nice.)

As she was explaining to me how the anatomy works and all we ended up talking about how they're like arms and the digits in bats and I decided to give Crowley that type of wings. I also discovered that Elenthya used to draw DRAGONS. DRAGONS YALL. SHE GAVE ME A DOODLE OF ONE AND IT'S SO AMAIZNG. So together with the bat wings I tried to give him some drangon-esque feel. And she also gave me the idea to make Crowley's wings more damaged, to give more weight to the drawing - Aziraphale helping him not to fall again, holding him in the descend.

Anyway. I talked too much already and no one has the patience for this lol I just like to register the process of me learning things. It's fun.

[pinkpastels113]

Hi hey for the love of God hello, I am here to ask fic recs but specifically the ones that YOU wrote. What are some fics you're proud of?? I'm giving the grabby hands

oh adsgdkh uhhh im really bad at rec'ing my own fics (esp bc i never got to finish some of them and feel bad about it or bc i would just forget about them lmfao) but here goes:

darlin' can i be your favorite?

my most recent bechloe fic featuring stripper!chloe where beca is still an awkward lil bean who got a Spicy lap dance in chapter 2 :) it's actually loosely based on a true life experience HAHA but i never got the Ending that beca will, let's say

why am i still writing pages?

a collection of most of my drabble works and one-shots from tumblr that came from prompts, the ethers of the universe, and ask memes. it's mostly au with a lot of the chapters centered around one particular line of dialogue

i can feel the flames on my skin (crimson red paint on my lips)

vamp!chloe fic that i started bc of pp spookfest!! i really do hope i will get to continue this (in a way that i and everyone else will like) sigh

i think (s)he knows

starbucks barista!chloe meets mechanic!beca who is there to fix the broken espresso machine that i kinda want to continue/update if yall are up for it? for bechloe week 2022 "ma'am this is starbucks"

but i think you're pretty too

cute lil high school au where beca asks popular girl chloe to prom

3am (i might be looking for a late night friend) 

the one angst fic that everyone yelled at me for adgask based on “I want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3am with you and kiss the hell out of you.” also might continue?? if people want?

i threw a wish in the well (i looked to you as it fell)

meet-cute in a mall bc beca's being silly <33

Talk Numbers To Me

math genius!beca helps a struggling chloe with her homework

Give Me a Shot

covid au featuring doctor!chloe. another meet-cute with background staubrey

edit, i just went through my pp works again and am also proud of this one:

now i’m wide awake (i only see daylight)

another drabble collection from a “sleeping and waking up” dialogue writing prompt list that i reblogged on tumblr a couple years ago!! it’s all v fluffy trust 🤚

[teddybeartoji]

me and toji me and toji me and tojiiiiiiii...

we started out as neighbors but it took us like three months to even propely meet lmao,, it takes me a while to get used to new places so when i first moved in i just stayed at home like a lot. a lot a lot. i literally only left to go to the grocery store and then to the park down the street and that's it. and toji is a big homebody too, so he didn't go out all that much either, just work and then the bar with a friend every once in a while. we just didn't happen to move at the same time, despite living right next to each other.

after about a month, i found myself a third place and slowly but surely grew more and more comfortable there – the cinema (nobody is surprised). i always liked to go during the day, as early as i could, just to make sure that there wouldn't be too many people. always in the last row, always in the middle seat. this is the mickey way. anyway, after creating a bit of a routine for myself, i felt more free to observe my surrounding some more too. felt more comfortable to start people watching. and that's when i saw him. mostly dressed in darker clothes, hoodies and big jackets. sometimes with a cap on, sometimes without it. it's not like he was always always there at the same time as me but when he was, he always sat in the last row but instead of fighting for the middle seat, he always sat at the very end of the row. obviously i thought he looked very handsome – we had made eye-contact a few times while buying popcorn by accident and let me tell you, that was enough to have my heart racing ok i am very weak. but i'm not bold enough to strike up a conversation like that so stolen glances and shared movie experiences were all we had. we btw have a very similar taste in films so we did end up seeing each other a lot there lmao

aaaanyway i just had a silly little cinema crush but never did anything abt it bc i'm a pussy ok😔😔 (he's literally the same). okay but so, one day i was coming home from whereever, just stepped into the elevator when a hand stopped the doors and HE appeared. i was very confused. he.. looked confused too lmao,, but now........ loookkkk.... no matter how handsome he is..... he's still a stranger, and a man too at that. a man who seems to be where i am multiple times a week and is now suddenly where i live. yes, i freaked the fuck out okay. don't judge me. he didn't press a floor button either yk so i really did start to spiral over the fact that maybe he's stalking me or smth..... and he saw that. he saw me tense up and he isn't stupid – he knows he's a tough big guy and it did seem like he could've been stalking me. so he immediately backed away a bit, trying to make himself smaller bc he obviously didn't want to make me any more uncomfortable. and then he just blurted out with his raspy voice that he lives here. it definitely cracked the tension a bit. he cleared his throat and slowly pointed at the floor buttons, saying that he lives on the same floor (btw i need everybody to know that he has a bit of an accent in my head it's very very important to me he speaks english very well but his accent still shines through and i love it very very much<33333). he even showed me his keys lmao and i did feel way more safe after that buuut we still didn't really introduce each other or anything. i guess the air still felt just a bit weird.. the doors opened and we both walked to out apartments in silence (it wasn't actually awkward or anything though it was just . silence) and then looked at each other with silly faces when we realized we literally live Right next to each other lmao that was funny. i just said that i moved in like two months ago and that was it. we went our seperate ways.

for a day.

bc you have no idea.. how awful i felt abt that elevator thing. oooooooh my god. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HE'S SO BIG SO IT'S SO MEAN FOR ME TO ASSUME THAT HE'S SOME AXE MURDERED YK well it isn't but i still felt really really bad esp since he tried to immediately make me feel more comfortable and tried to reassure me that he was not, in fact, stalking me lmao but yeah idk it just weighed really heavily on me i couldn't help but keep thinking abt it soooo i ended up baking a batch of brownies the very next day. and i went to his door (still in my hello kitty pyjama pants mind you)(i forgot to change them) aaand then started rambling and STUTTERING BTWW while apologizing and he just stood there like ???? like he didn't even understand why i was apologizing in the first place lmao he felt it was a very understandable for me to have that fear and to think the way i was thinking (he actually felt a bit bad abt the whole thing inside too he just didn't really know how to express it). aaaanyway so he was just there staring at me with like a veeery faint smile bc at a point it got a bit ridiculous bc i really did start just rambling abt the whole thing lmao it was uhhh just a bit embarrassing (the fact that he's hot didn't help either thank you very much). he thought it was cute how i was there trying to apologize for smth that he should've been apologizing for himself lmao he tried to say no to the brownies at first and i shoved them at him so hard they all almost fell.. aaand i think that's exactly where he decided that hm. mickey . yes weird little creature i am intrigued i want to know more yk?

btw we still didn't exchange numbers or anything at that point, that happened later after i came knocking at his door at twelve am bc there was a big spider in my room but i'll talk abt that some other time:33333333 thank you for reading abt the miji lore i love you . and i love him. sooooso much he means the world to me<3333333333333333

[thegeminisage]

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA ECHOES OF WISDOM FINAL VERDICT

SHORT VERSION: minor nitpicks but rad as hell

LONG VERSION:

what i loved about eow:

zelda getting her own adventure, FINALLY. it matters so much to me <3

the thinking aspect of it. i'm used to trying a puzzle a few times and then looking it up if i can't get it, but eow made me WANT to throw myself at the wall until something clicked. it made solving puzzles even more satisfying than in link games, somehow. though i had my initial concerns over not getting a "real" sword, i didn't really miss it until the final fight, and most of the time, i went out of my way to avoid using it if possible, because i wanted to be creative. in fact, even while playing, i looked forward to being able to watch other peoples playthroughs to see how they tackled certain puzzles differently from me. it's so fitting to who zelda is in the lore that it's crazy to me she wasn't een in the original concept - she just fits so PERFECTLY here, as if they'd designed it for her from the ground up.

the way link mattered in the story without stealing the stage (everywhere except the final boss, which i have mixed feelings on). i know that link's function is to act as a stand-in for us, but in this project especially, it's nice to see him get some personality - i think he's earned it!

i ALSO really loved, of course, the final dungeon and working together with link to solve puzzles. the last zelda co-op game we had was four swords where everybody had the same abilities bc they were all link, but what if we had one with link and zelda where they had different abilities? it was so exciting and rewarding to finally get to work with link after all the mystery surrounding him and the fights with his evil duplicate.

the stilled realm stuff was incredible. i had so much fun in the rifts i wish there had been more of them. picking your way around that fucked up landscape is great

being able to cheat your way around any landscape is great also. like i can get to hebra from the ground with enough platbooms, i can jump over tree barriers, etc. it made me feel like a master of the world.

i liked tri! not the most standout companion, but they were just confused enough about basic emotion and nonplussed about things in general to be funny and make me fond

in fact, most of the secondary characters were a lot of fun. i was pretty neutral on wright and lefte and the gerudo ladies, but the zora leaders, impa and lueberry, and of course, conde - they were all fantastic. zelda's dad not being shitty for once was a really nice touch, too.

loved all the callbacks to other games - the deku scrubs, the river vs sea zoras, volvagia, big blue pig ganon even though he sin't my fav

speaking of, i'm not mad about the lore either. it fits with what we know so far and it was GREAT to hear from the three goddesses again when it's been like 20-something years. i was kinda mad when they got shunted aside for hylia and i'm glad nintendo is bringing them into co-existence again

most of the time the music was just okay but when it was good it was REALLY fucking good.

overall, the story was absolutely charming, filled with mostly fun characters and environments and a creative mechanic and a world i cared about saving. none of that feeling i got from totk sometimes where i went "wait, what?" or "this is bullshit!" except maybe when the goron had to break the picture of his dead dad lol.

what i did not love about eow:

my absolute #1 main complaint is the quality of life bs. i should NOT have to go through so many dialogue boxes for a task that is repetitive. minigames that have a 20-second time limit where i spend almost as much time skipping thru the dialogue to try again? come on. smoothies? the dojo? these are things we do dozens, perhaps hundreds of times per playthrough. there is NO NEED to make it that tedious. i would have had a LOT of fun experimenting with smoothies if it hadn't been so tedious, but instead i went out of my way to avoid using them because i was dreading having to sit through the animations and dialogue boxes for more. and there's no quick retry for minigames, either. for the dojo where one misstep means you'll have to start over, all you can do is quit early and then go through the dialogue ALL. OVER. AGAIN. it is 2024!!! surely when they played the game they got annoyed by this too! what are we doing!

similarly, while i didn't hate the slidey menu as much as everyone else cuz i got pretty good at skimming it, it's still nuts to me that they couldn't come up with anything better, perhaps involving some sort of category. sometimes i want platforming echoes and sometimes i want combat ones. separate them!!

while the final boss was FANTASTIC in mood and presentation, my echoes and automatons being kind of useless + me being denied a sword made me feel like i had nothing to do but run around and dodge and watch link and my lynel fight the boss. this is a tricky one because i'm not sure what could possibly be changed to make me a more active participant and still leave link his sword (his presence elevated it so much - much like zelda's does in final fights against ganon), but it felt just an inch to the left from perfect for me

automatons in general - i was really hype for them, but most of them don't even move around on their own, and they're so slow a fast-paced combat sitch will obliterate them instantly. which would have been PERFECT for the final boss where i wanted a more direct means of attack, but they'd get toasted before i had a chance to wind them up. JUST removing the winding element would have improved these greatly without any other change at all, but it's another quality of life thing

the horse was also useless, but the horses have been useless in every game since majora's mask, and even in majora's mask it's iffy.

the world DID feel a little small sometimes, but i think that's the natural result of being able to cheat your way around it - and i wouldn't change that.

finally, the music - most of the music for the overworld sections was boring, where the dungeon music occasionally had more character. i was a little disappointed there wasn't more of the old melodies aside from little snatches of them here and there. i definitely understand composers wanting to do something new, but if their new something is this atmospheric, unhummable stuff...that just doesn't feel like a zelda score, you know? that said, again: when it was good, it was GREAT. that final boss fucking rocked.

overall this made me SOOOO ready for an oracle or minish cap remake from grezzo and absolutely RABID for zelda to have her own 3D adventure someday. they thought it wasn't possible but it ABSOLUTELY is, and the co-op sections near the end were especially wonderful and something i'd love to see in a mainline title someday. yes, this game was flawed, but it wasn't flawed the way totk was, it was overall a great joy to play and well worth both my time and money. there's very little i would change.

and, on a mushy real life note, echoes of wisdom did also help me get through the 15-day power outage after hurricane helene...i started the game just before the hurricane hit and finished it just after i got my power back, so helene kind of defined the experience of playing it for me. i'll never forget sitting in my dark bedroom with all the windows open and the generators going outside and my switch just propped up on my monitor stand, surrounded by battery packs, my only light from flashlights or candles, trying to help the time pass and enjoy the game while keeping a clooose eye on my battery life. it was one of the very, very few things i could look forward to in an uncomplicated way every day, and having something to keep me going was vital to my not just going nuts. zelda games usually seem to come out when i need them most! and i'm grateful to her too <3

[nosenipped]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

roleplayer name: lucien!

pronouns: deez / nuts. ( he / they. )

muse name(s): jackson overland frost. :3 his name is so fucking english i literally can't type this without giggling. he's got a korean name too, but im not revealing it because of plot.

preferred communication: discord or DMs. i'm still getting used to the mechanics on tumblr rn so. 😭😭 but there r some features in tumblr's DMs that kinda tick me off, so discord's the home place for communications for me. i run a shit ton of accounts on different platforms too, so if i don't reply it's bc im out of energy or im busy with work. 💔

experience: started in pokémon. got traumatized. went to animerp. also got traumatized. the cycle repeats for about 6 years.

preferred roleplay type: dependent on the day! i've always preferred writing something fluffy as opposed to angsty, ( but the lines are very thin for this muse ) only because jack's already a VERY angsty character and as a whole and i feel if i kept writing angst i'd run out of material quickly.

pet peeves / dealbreakers: forced shipping &&. self—inserts that seem too inserted, eg. forcing themselves onto my muses. ( i realize it's essentially the same thing but trust there's a difference. ) i've only ever shipped muses after messages of development and if i see potential. it's also a matter of personal comfort.

i've had past experiences where people took it too far with their muses and got personally affected by their relationship which is INSANELY unhealthy.

another one is just ship jealousy? i've personally NEVER experienced it as the receiver before, i hope i never do anyway, but we're all friends and grown—ups here im sure we could just write without any hidden agendas. i've had people close to me suffer from this before and it's incredibly sad &&. pathetic, y'all don't do that pls.

best time to write: evening or like. really early in the morning LMAOOO. i'm a night owl most of the times so if im not getting to anything in the morning or afternoon, it's mostly all churned out at night. ( but ofc that doesn't mean i'm not active during the morning or afternoon. )

are you like your muse?: to a large extent, definitely. i wouldn't go as far as to call us twins tho? even if some people do, there's just some things that we see differently.

for starters, unlike this loser, i can swim. /silly i got medals to back my claim.

i'm definitely not as dense to love as this dude is, and i'm able to differentiate platonic and romantic ties. this SUCKS so bad knowing he's also a womanizer in the last books .. i need his ass GONE.

in terms of similarities, i truly see him as something of a vessel to articulate my grief and anger as well as nostalgia through my boyo. :3 and since i've practically rewritten his ass to incorporate book and movie and mythology lore ( it gave me a MIGRAINE during my work i swear ;; the amt of effort i place into him needs to go widespread to my course. ) parts of me are also within to fill the plot holes. <3

i offer my jack frost to write with you all with my heart and soul on the line, so it really means a whole lot to me whenever people love him.

i got tagged by @lcafman ! WAAAHHH ELLIE ILYSM /p ONE OF MY POOKIES AND A GENUINELY GREAT PERSON TO GET TO KNOW. <33

＊ tagging ... @nerdynanny ， @toothcollct ， @saheira ， @seachant ， @fatedarrows ， @chieftain-of-berk ， @pcterpan ， @wishfulmuses ♡ feel free to participate if you'd like!! ( ^ω^ )

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

making this in case i accidentally convince someone to play the spirit hunter/ death mark series bc i feel like i'll be drawing it a lot

here's a warning list (mostly from memory so i might miss something)

multiple ghosts were people who went through SA. in the first chapter of the first game it's specifically CSA. you're not explicitly shown what happened to them, in the majority cases it's only told to you through text. one of the bad endings in spirit hunter: ng is disturbing

there's fanservice with other characters... unfortunately... it's always w women/girls n it can really take you out of the scene. iirc spirit hunter: ng toned it down a bit but some of the cgs are still Bad there. some cgs can be avoided as long as you don't let the person die (in ng + 2)

lots of body horror

gore

suicide

bullying

animal death, child death

face distortions

jumpscares

insects, spiders (especially in death mark 1 + 2)

snakes

human experiments, torture

teacher-student affairs / student crushes (at least 2 circle back to the first point)

cults

death mark 2 is. rough. has good points but it's the roughest

too expensive (publishers fault)

if you're still interested but don't want to spend money there are no-commentary letsplays on youtube as well as manlybadasshero's playthrough. the main protagonist's va has also played the first game (jpn only; <here>)

the release order is death mark > ng > death mark II / shibito magire; but ng is a side story with a different protagonist

[domtheforestgnome]

Moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 part 2

Hello! It's me again with another post about moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 of Young Royals. Here's part 1. And also there are Part 1 and Part 2 for Simon.

What's noticeable - based on these posts - till this moment Wilhelm has suffered mostly because of being rejected by Simon, whereas Simon is being hit from different directions (being in the destructive relationship with Marcus and hearing not nice stuff from him, being erased by Royal Court publicly, having hard time with his "long lost" sister, still being bullied by other students in Hillerska for his non-royal backgrounds)...

Yeah, that's my observation, feel free to make your conclusions based on it. Anyway my heart broke this season for Wilhelm when...

Simon agreed Wille's position actually IS problematic for him when it comes to their relationship. I mean, I really want to cry every time I see it.

I know the feeling, kiddo. I know the feeling sooo well. I wanted to hug him, and I really was disappointed he and Felice didn't go together to the ball, even though I got that she wasn't a fan of fueling the rumors with it.

On the other hand, watching Wilhelm like that is not entirely bad for him and feeling all those feelings. I imagine him trying to live the normal life, partying and all of that, and that could be also just to feel something, forcing and pushing things to extreme level - but the pain of being punch probably felt pretty real.

And here he wasn't in control and still felt something really strong and difficult. And in my opinion even though heartbreak is never easy, it was actually good for him to experience that as a... prince.

Do I even have to say anything? This scene is a masterpiece. Also it reminds me of the one in season 1. The one after Wilhelm learns that his mom knew about August's deeds and tried to excuse it with acknowledging Erik's legacy. Back then, I could really feel that he's so lonely and not gonna lie, I was really worried about his mental health in that moment - like "Please, Wilhelm, don't do anything bad to yourself, pleaseee". Though, this time he's not alone. At least he's got Felice, Boris, and even Nils to talk about it.

Yeah, I'd rather Wille and Felice went together for that ball. He was so lost. And Simon brought Marcus, not really making things easy for Wille.

Look how tired he was! Seeing him literally on the verge of exhaustion after putting all his energy to talk politely to Marcus and respectfully informing Simon, he surrenders. I'm so done!

Kissing Simon and still being very careful. Like, it all was still so fragile like glass in that moment.

When Wille made breakfast for Simon and the boy didn't want it, suddenly being very reserved towards Wille. The change in the mood after their kiss at the ball must be confusing.

Ugh... "all the things he said, all the things he said, running through my head" moment. Like Simon said lots of hurtful (still true) things to Wilhelm, and I am sorry for the kid bc it can hurt two times more when you really believe you doing things with a good will... I was watching that moment with sympathy for the kid. He believed he was doing the right thing and he really tried to administer justice towards August.

Him panicking and getting totally none of a response to it by Jan Olof and the other man. Like "you don't have to be sorry" would be nice to hear in this situation.

When he learnt August is his back-up.

I am proud of his reaction though - breathing and dealing with the news. Like before, kind of similar situation to that one in season 1 episode 6, but the reaction and also Kristina's emphasis on being in this together as a mother-son family, made it really different. They can do it. I believe it.

But later on I'm watching this scene and now as I am thinking about that...I might got manipulated just as Wilhelm. The way he said that his Mom is counting on him and therefore he should be doing all those things, the Royal Court want him to do, and yet it's so difficult for him. I mean I see a 16yo boy, but at the same time he talks and looks way more younger child. You can see that he loves his family so much too and cares for them, but the official role part is really messing ways of showing that.

When he was harsh for himself, being annoyed with the characters choices in the "Kris".

When everything started to collapse bc Simon didn't change his mind about going to police.

This whole sequence.

Oh, the longing. His thrive for the touch.

They shouldn't be scared!!! They're still children!!! I can't.

Yeah, I mean... Somehow my heart is even more broken for Wille here than for Simon, probably bc he's not stopping himself anymore from being that close to another boy. I know that Young Royals is not exactly about that (internal) struggle, but thinking about him in season 1 - all the pushing and pressure to have it in control, not let himself kiss Simon then kissing him, not wanting to be more than friends, then liking him too much for that, then all the video thing. He really wanted to be close to Simon, and here he finally was without stopping himself!!! And all their future was so unknown and scary. God!

...

Ok, I need a brake. That's all for now.

Take care!

Now with Part 3

[anxious-witch]

What a year, huh? We all know I have to be emotional on tumblr.com whenever the opportunity arises because that's one way I allow myself to have an emotional catharsis (for legal reasons this a joke)

In all seriousness though, this year has been a lot for me. Both in a good and bad sense, but Käärijä and Joker Out improved it significantly. And more importantly, their fandoms. (More inder the cut bc this is long af)

I have never really been someone who knows anything about the artists' whose music I listened to. Before this, I don't think I ever listened to a full album of someone, just random songs that I liked. Finding stuff from personal life of bands/musicians I liked usually made me depressed so I didn't bother.

Then, ESC 2023. happened. I frankly have no idea what flipped the switch in my head. Bojere interactions? The way people on tumblr were so welcoming even back when I was mostly posting about Let 3 and Käärijä only? I don't know, I only know that we are here now, regardless.

Another thing about me is that I used to be very pessimistic person. Likez genuinely. I have been "unofficially"(long story) diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 11, which is over a decade now. I always had a lot of bad experiences with people and really awful trust issues. I have been doing better for some time now, but it is very hard to let go of the feeling of pessimism and helplessness. In a world where awful things happen every second, what can I possibly do that would change anything?

Then ESC happened. Käärijä lost and I thought "another injustice that will never be corrected". Except, instead of feeling defeated, everyone just loved him more. In those weeks after and later on months, all I have seen had been unrelenting love and acceptance of Jere. Reminding him that despite not winning Eurovision, he is our winner and we'll forever think of him as such. Jere who has a wonderfully belly and strong thighs and is short and by no means is he conventional in any sense. And people loved him not despite all that but because all that. Because we all found ways to relate to him, or to what he went through.

His story of almost dying and still getting where he did only served to highlight that more. Because of he did it, why can't we get to what we want? Why can't I? It shifted my whole perspective.

Then, Joker Out. It is so, so funny to me how I barely paid any attention to them during ESC, except for bojere interactions and was dragged in it by the shared fandom, when now I post most about them.

But yes, JO. A band from Slovenia that while tehnically isn't Balkan, felt so close to me. Like they could understand all the things I kept to myself because of where I was. And then they showed me there is still hope.

I have never seen a band from around here take a pride flag on the stage. Never. I know it's a thing, especially abroad, but God I have never seen that happen here. And with how much love they always took it! That's...wow. It gave me hope that not only is it possible for injustices to be corrected, but that ot's possible to do it even in the environment I'm in.

And then...the Virtual Letters Project happened. Or well positive confessions that @spockowhales turned into Virtual Letters Project.

That's when I knew it's truly possible. I have seen tumblr posts, yes. But getting stuff so directly addressed about or to JO made me realize how much of a "wave" they all created. So many people said they helped them with their depression, with viewing their world differentky with meeting new peoplez with daring to do something new.

I have no words to describe how much that meant to me and I really hope that when they read those letters, they understood the impact they had.

But even that aside, I want to thank everyone in this fandom. People I have talked to, people I have interacted with it any way, through replies, reblogs, likes, anon asks. I appreciate every single one of you for helping create such a wonderful space. We had our ups and downs in the fandom, but we are all here because we love these fandoms, these people so much to keep talking about it even months after.

Thank you and I wish everyone here a wonderful New Year with even more laugh, love and positivity ❤️ have a good one

[ukulelegodparent]

hey i just wanted to send an ask as someone who has been like really struggling with this for a while. it was your tag on post about white south africans that went something like people acting like having ancestors in europe gives them some magical tie to that place. i see a lot of posts telling people like me to reclaim their european roots rather than appropriate stuff that doesn't belong to me. is that really the answer? i just feel like i don't l have another option. seeing people with cultural ties that they can draw pride, inspiration, wisdom from and then looking at my own lack of any of that just kind of opened like a deep pit of dread in me as i thought about it more and more. idk even know if you have the answers necessarily its just been eating away at me and that tag kinda just kinda made me really wanna ask on the off chance you had any sort of answer.

Hey, I mean I'm no expert on the topic and can only really speak from my own experience which is mostly as a European interacting with Americans. This won't necessarily match your situation, but I just know more about the situation in the US bc of well. The everything of it.

I mean embrace your roots all you want and look at the culture of your ancestors and keep what you want and leave the rest. It's yours. But let's take someone who is German-American. Their ancestors came there in the mid 19th century and that is their latest direct cultural tie to Germany. Or German lands or whatever. It's the middle of the 19th century. It's complicated. Point is those ancestors left a society where their specific culture (whatever region they were living in) was the majority and went into a culture where it was the minority. So either they assimilate or they form a smaller community with other Germans. Either way at that point they are cut off from the main bulk of what they consider their culture. They themselves will have strong cultural influences from the culture that surrounds them and even without that the culture on it's own will slowly warp and change. So too will their language. Maybe they stop speaking German in the first generation, maybe during one of the world wars, maybe there are still parts of the adult population of that community that speak a form of German. What that German-American person would consider the traditions and culture that were passed down to them from the German side of the family might have very little to do with anything that was part of the culture of those initial immigrants to the US. Now while all that was happening German culture in Germany also changed a lot. Between Unification, a world war, the establishment of a democratic system, the absolute turmoil of the 20s, female emancipation, fascism, another world war, a refugee crisis, another dictatorship, a lot of immigration from Turkey and Italy, the establishment of the EU, reunification etc etc. German culture in Germany is also drastically different from what it was in the mid 19th century when those ancestors left.

So that is the one slightly odd thing that like. People talk about their what they consider their own culture and they call it eg "German" or "Polish" or whatever, but the culture they have has just been through a lot of washes. Which is fine, but it is a bit silly when people post pictures of two old women on a cemetery and they want to call them 'sweet ladies' but end up calling them 'old hags'. But also by calling it like a culture that has a whole country attached to it it's a bit like they're declaring themselves experts which. I mean it leads to miscommunication is all I'm saying. And also there's the point that ethnicity just doesn't work like that in Europe. It's just not carried down that far through the family. I might have had Polish or Dutch or Danish ancestors in the early 19th century but I literally would never know. So it's odd to us here for people to build their identity around something that lies so far in their past. Again. This is the part that is just a little odd, will get people made fun of etc. Maybe a little annoying at times but whatever. 'you have yours over there and we have ours over here' is the name of the game.

The frustrating thing is when people with this history act like they have any sort authority on these things. And especially the frequent (Especially American) 'Bull in a China shop' moments you get where people then base their entire personality around stereotypes and come here and act like they belong. And just. There is sometimes this deep unawareness with especially Americans that they are foreigners here. Of course with Americans the cultural imperialism plays into the frustration here but I see it even with my cousin who grew up in Aotearoa and who also just. I mean both of her parents are German, a lot of their friends are and they've visited almost every year she's been alive and yet, when she says she wants to study here all I can think is 'Girl you will have the biggest culture shock of your life' and her parents literally barely have Kiwi citizenship.

And it might also be from the European side an attempt to remove oneself from colonialism, though I don't think that's the case. There is a huge cultural divide, especially between continental Europe and the Anglosphere. But mostly I mean culture is a living breathing thing that people have to actively participate in to be a part of it. And wherever in Europe your roots may lie, by nature of living on the other side of the world you cannot participate in those traditions and you will be part of a different culture. Like my culture to me is Easter Fires just as much as getting a Döner after a long night out and getting fresh bread rolls from a bakery on a Sunday morning and not being able to go shopping on a Sunday and terrible terrible Apres-Ski music (that I must admit I indulge in sometimes) and the stellar parody dubs of 2010 German Youtube and hearing church bells, and the architecture and the language omg the language, the beautiful poems, having to suffer through Faust in school, the supermarkets, the way towns work here, the way winter smells, the way my grandfather talks and the way my great-grand aunt talks, the forests, the mountains, the fields, not going to the Oktoberfest, not because I don't have the means to but because growing up I was taught to despise it and all things Munich with it, good Brezen, amazing lentil stew (from the can of course), the list goes on and on and on. And some of these are really specific to me and some are more general. And like if you want to connect with your roots, I'm genuinely happy for you, have fun! But for our hypothetical German American, whatever sits at the heart of German and European culture (bread and a certain grumpiness seem to be a big component of both) it will probably never be truly hers. Even if she were to move here. And that's fine. I mean. Idk which post you saw bc there actually were two where I left comments like that in the tags, but one of them listed a lot of examples of what culture can be and of why the 'haha white people have no culture' thing is inaccurate. Maybe it's just that it's hard to see sometimes when your culture is so squarely the majority you never ever have to think about it. Idk. I look around me and even between the regions I've lived in there are such stark cultural differences. Culture can be the songs you sing for children to fall asleep, what the most prominent mode of transport is, where you go to eat, what you eat, what you cook, whether you cook at all, whether you go to church, whether there are crosses hanging everywhere despite rarely anyone ever going to church, what you wear, especially outside of traditional clothing. Maybe at the core of this discomfort I expressed in those tags is also the big question of 'why are you looking here for guidance? You are so different.'

[iratusmus]

so bizarre to me when people give fiona a redemption arc like making her evil wasnt literally like the fundamental core of making her an actually interesting character. like . ok actually i was mostly planning on just leaving the post as this but im going to make a proper post whining about this because ive seen it far too often for my liking.

it appears to me that a lot of people do this because they dislike fiona/scourge which is like. sure i get it. but you could literally just... break them up . and have her continue being awful on her own. like scourge is not the reason she switched sides and i find the idea. 1) a bit misogynistic frankly but thats more of a personal gripe than anything else like god forbid a woman make bad choices of her own volition and not because a man forced her hand into doing it (YES i am aware that abuse makes this more complicated than that but also we .... already have a relationship in archie sonic that fits this exact bill. yes it wasnt written well but the wonder of fan works is that you can always make it better. so why are we repeating it again 1:1) and 2) demeaning to the point of her character.

like. ok. lets go over the facts real quick. as a kid fiona got put in robotnik's salt mines and got accidentally left behind bc sonic & co couldnt find her. she realized that nobody was going make the effort to go save her, so she dug herself out and started life on the run as a treasure hunter/thief. she didnt ever really accept the fact that sonic and mighty not saving her wasnt really their fault, and even after becoming a freedom fighter, nobody ever said anything or apologized or said "hey wow that kind of sucks you went through all that". she never really made any actual friends within the ff or formed any meaningful bonds. she starts dating sonic, but its pretty clear that the only reason they're dating is that she's his rebound post The Slap. the moment her history with bean & bark came up - after she used that knowledge to save everybody - sally immediately turns on her and sonic is the only person to try to stick up for her. as bark and bean leave, bean also insinuates that fiona isnt really a freedom fighter, and that she's still basically one of them.

fiona is a "bad" trauma survivor. when i say "bad" i mean in opposition to the ideal tumblr trauma survivor - the sad poor uwu bean whose trauma only inclines them hurt themselves and they become more sympathetic kind etc. as a result. fiona, on the other hand, blames sonic (whose fault this is, frankly, not) for her experiences, and becomes more jaded and mean. she has no real support system and people repeatedly tell her that she hasnt changed and that she wont change and she cant change. shes already got all this baggage by the time her relationship with scourge starts carrying actual weight - he's offering her a way out. if none of them are ever going to really accept her being "good", then she might as well just give into her worst impulses and join hands with scourge, who, notably, has no stake in this - he doesnt have any obligation to be her friend like the freedom fighters, and more than that he likes her specifically because of the part of her that everybody else hates. the important part here is that he encouraged her to switch sides, he didnt make her switch sides.

id say fiona's character in a writing sense is an exploration of the failings of the freedom fighters to support a trauma victim, and how those failings, while unintentional, lead that victim to specifically turn against them. she says "ok actually screw all of you guys" and gives up on trying to be good because nobody ever gave her any real encouragement and decides to put herself on a path of self-destructive revenge and inflicting her misery onto the general population. we can also recall at this point that this motivation is entirely removed from scourge and you can literally break them up and still keep her evil.

the other important point here is that she purposefully chose that path of turning evil as opposed to leaving the freedom fighters or going somewhere else or like literally doing anything else. she literally could have just left but she did not and thats what makes her Interesting. prompted by her unhealed trauma and personal baggage she made those bad choices for herself, and frankly i cannot for the life of me understand why people think that walking back that character development (and yes i mean character development. character development can also mean getting worse) for ..... what. snarky but with a heart of gold generic protagonist girl? come on guys

[kiisaes]

it's kinda funny seeing ppl instinctively react to my omori catholic school au with shock or confusion but i do get anxious that the au itself is being misinterpreted so here's a quick post to clear some stuff up

this is not a pro-catholicism au

this is also not an anti-catholicism au. i don't really dive into the catholicism part of it anyway. it's just an au of the faraway gang going to catholic school

i'm not catholic, ex-catholic, or went to catholic school, but i do have ample youth experience with christianity (the evangelical church to be precise) (i also consulted [ex-]catholic friends about their experiences, as i know catholicism and evangelicalism are different). i based faraway's comfortable but conservative/religious environment off of my own hometown, in which there are catholic schools everywhere. if i ever get anything wrong let me know!!! but again the catholicism part of catholic school isn't actually the focal point

the main reasons why this is a catholic school au in general is bc 1.) i'm pretty sure the one church in faraway is catholic (i could be wrong), so i'm assuming faraway is predominantly of catholic faith, 2.) school uniforms are fun to draw and are way easier than their normal clothes and 3.) catholic school is one of the most well-documented and understood religious education systems in the US

the main theme is identity suppression, a fairly common thing ex-catholics mention going through (as well as ex-religious people going through in general). this is mainly illustrated as internalized queerphobia in this au. i thought that framing internalized queerphobia through an outdated religious lens would make it easier to understand, a clear cause and effect

i went through some wacky and honestly kinda funny religious trauma growing up, so i don't want this au to be overly depressing and heavy. i know religious trauma can be really tough for a lot of people but this au is mostly silly!!! a slice of life log of four catholic school teens dealing with themselves the more they're approached with the concept of not being "pure". i felt like this was a vague presence in the game so i wanted to expand on it more myself. this was also my experience growing up and i'm still going through it now, so i thought making a lighthearted au out of it would help me heal too

i'm making this list more serious than it should be, it's really not that deep and it's mostly an excuse to dump my experiences with faith onto some goofy drawings :>

TL;DR: this is a silly au detailing what it can be like growing up religious/impacted by religion as u're increasingly introduced to ur inherent "sinfulness" and moral impurity aka being queer. grahhhh. that's it

i hope this helped clear some stuff up!!!!!!

[compassionatereminders]

I just want to like, shout into the void at other mentally ill people about this thing bc I feel like no one else in my life Understands why this bothers me so much and I feel like at this point Im like. AM I MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT NOTHING?? I have this picture in my phone I come back to every so often that I took when I was 18 years old of a leaflet I got given by the NHS when I was diagnosed with BPD. And it was a heading that said this: "What happens to people with Borderline Personality Disorder?" And it had two bullet points. 1: "Living with severe BPD is mostly an awful experience." and 2: "Long term suicide risk is about 10%." That is the direct wording from the leaflet. When I mentioned to the psychiatrist that this felt unnecessary he just shrugged and went "Well it's true." I'm 24 years old now, I don't have the same psych and after 6 years of fighting I got the diagnosed removed this year. But I still think about this leaflet and I just get more angry. I get angry because I was eighteen and I was struggling with an incredibly severe illness and instead of help and reassurance I was told my life would be terrible and a lot of people like me die. And I have no idea how it went through the several layers of editing to make it into the hands of patients. And I still go to that same outpatients where I was given this, and the doctor who gave it to me still works there. And every time I see a young, clearly suffering teenager get called into his office I just want to scream because what if he's giving them literature that calls their chance of life awful? But I cannot do anything. And I am just at a loss at how I am meant to continue going here and act like that leaflet did not damage my young adulthood. And at this point Im like. Am I being ridiculous? Do I need to just calm down over it? Maybe other mentally ill people Get It but maybe I do just need to let go

No that approach does seem inappropriate to me. It makes sense to communicate that living with BPD can be hard and that it's valid and normal if you struggle, but saying that there's no hope for a good life if you have a certain diagnosis is counterproductive, toxic and plain wrong.

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

i read a fic once about achilles being the early-riser in the relationship.

idk about you but i think not lmao. i mean, i see the vision. it's cute, but my brain insists he sleeps 16 hours a day plus 3 naps (yes, like a cat, yes) and then gets zoomies at 2am (moreso in modern maybe bc it can be hard to fuck up your sleep schedule in ancient times)

since i can't resist yapping, here's some

sleep headcanons!

sleep is a really important thing to me obviously.

patroclus: sleeps last but wakes up first. light sleeper because he grew up hypervigilant when referencing tsoa specifically. otherwise, i think he's sort of a heavy sleeper (bc tired) who would wake up when roused by achilles in the middle of the night, would give brief gestures like chuckle or pat his head before going back to sleep but he doesn't remember any of it in the morning.

has a harder time going back to sleep, but he's normal about it. just gets up and does something. can get grumpy at unwanted interruptions but only when he's absolutely sick and tired of being alive (modern hc: a doctor or something so since sleep is hard to come by, he has rough days). sleeps mostly on his back, may start snoring so achilles has to slap him (gently) awake.

when entirely modern, i think he adhered to a routine when he lived with menoetius. so he's kinda used to that too, waking up before the sun is completely up. don't know what to give him as a traumatic experience (like pushing a boy to his death) since obv we can't have that here and i'm kinda bad at hcs, so... let's just say he used to have nightmares about it when he was younger, but not anymore.

big spoon status wearer

achilles: sleeps first, wakes up last. isn't really sleeping deeply sometimes, he just has his eyes closed and his surroundings blurring in and out through sense of hearing. sometimes he also stays in bed in the morning because he knows patroclus likes to stare at him like that, and he enjoys that 100% focused attention before the other decides it's time to do some work. light sleeper, though. glowing green eyes shooting open in the middle of the night and when patroclus is still awake he sometimes gets a scare.

sometimes the greeks would hear shuffling outside their tents and it's just achilles scrabbling around instead of sleeping. sometimes humming. has definitely given one or a few soldiers a heart attack at some point. happened more often when he stopped fighting bc he had all the day to sleep.

can get really irritable when he's sleepy. can also get really irritable when a person he fucking hates (aggy?) yells or makes any noise and he wakes up with a start. ("who the fuck was dropping spears at dawn?!" "agamemnon" "oh if it wasn't him i would have been fine") day ruined, patroclus has to calm him down because his soldiers are quaking in their sandals.

modern: will sleep with a plushie or not at all. anything to hug. patroclus or something.

i intended to end this here but now i have to ramble so read on if you're interested 👍 will have less lighthearted topics.

still modern, sometimes he wakes up because he doesn't want to be on his own defenseless and vulnerable (applies to tsoa because of how he had pyrrhus with deidameia. basically grape. he also said it was dark, so it's not too far off the mark when i assume she went into his room at night and suddenly went at it. his attitude when asked was also giving dissociation, especially after i read this fic on Ao3, bless the author wherever they may be now, that his stay in skyros really impacted him a lot).

or because suddenly the other side of the bed feels cold. he turns around to grasp at his lover's clothes or skin depending on whether or not he slept shirtless, and his hands snatch air. he's expressed his mini heart attacks when this happens, which patroclus acknowledges, but achilles knows he has things to do.

so one day on a particularly rough patch for achilles, he wakes up, finds patroclus gone, and starts to cry until the latter hears this and drops what he's doing in a panic to come see what's wrong.

achilles doesn't speak at first. just clings on to patroclus like he's scared of losing him. and he admits that later on when he's calm enough. that sometimes it just really scares him patroclus has been taken away from him. he doesn't want to say "dead", but it's stuck at the back of his throat and he swallows it down. he does not know where this comes from, but there is a hollow ache in his chest whenever it comes to haunt him.

or, achilles says, is scared of the illogical prospect that he himself has been taken away by god-knows-who or what. scared of waking up among strangers who do not have the best of intentions (again i believe it to have something to do with smth like deidameia incident-- thetis has either a role or is not involved but she has passing remarks that made achilles too shameful to say anything to anyone until patroclus).

but the constant is patroclus being gone.

and patroclus just doesn't know what to say, because he wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes from weird feelings of deep-seated fear, checking with every single one of his senses if achilles is still beside him. he can only calm down when he has checked once, twice, thrice. and he moves to hug him as if it isn't an option to not do so. he is careful not to hug him too tight, as he has done that at one point and it was not a nice awakening for achilles. but he just wants to hold on to him as tight as possible so he does not suddenly vanish.

i guess you could say it is in patroclus' favor that he sleeps last (to see if achilles is still there), and wakes up first (to see, also, if achilles is still there).

but he doesn't say this. instead hugs achilles tighter now for he is awake, and they decide to take that morning very, very slowly.

brainrot so bad it probably wasn't a very pretty read (vocab bad, arrangement bad-) but i had to finish it 😫