#(ive got to ramble more about it on my multi where im more likely to write about it but it's so interesting)

[godzexperiment]

speaking of canon medias- it's still amusing that 1 variation of lucifer who is like 'i only care about & tolerate few people one of which is my niece who i look out for'

and then just his casual 'let me use my brothers death explosion to create an new universe peace out'

[cerealmonster15]

irt your tags (nothing negative, genuine speculation here), i wonder if it's a matter of perspective concerning the notes. like i see what you mean by being more specific in the notes, those are a good place to elaborate further about what's in there. as I see it, the tags are the full list of warnings a la "does the dog die" and other sites like that, while the notes are individual warnings for each chapter + background stuff. i write a lot of multi-chapter fics or vignette stuff, so having the notes be individualized tag specifications helps but I still feel the need to include it in the main tags as a full warning of what this particular fic will contain. like i dont want to suddenly jump someone with a discussion about gender identity in the middle of something, even when it's the most casual conversation and very blase. so instead of the reader coming across a note that says "there's gonna be gender discussion here" when they werent warned previously, i'd rather have a messy tag about gender discussions and then use the note to flag which chapter it is and how it plays out (eg how explicit, its function, etc.).

but that's just me, your thoughts def got me thinking though and its interesting to see how people interpret the archive tags - especially since i know that some people see them both as warning and advertisement

[about this post talkin ao3]

oh huh yeah i guess i didnt really think about the notes as like, extra misc warning spot! i mean kind of- im sure ive seen people use it that way and just not remembered lol. like it seems to me the notes are a much looser optional area - sometimes i dont read them [usually i do tho. i like bonus lore LOL] [but also sometimes i just forget to read even the tags and get jumpscared, but thats all a Me Thing lmao]

but i mean i think thats all super good! i dont disagree lol. having some messy tags isnt bad at all i dont think, within reason. i never thought much about multi chapter fics bc i both dont write them and barely ever read them [i am suddenly reminded one of the few multi chap fics i DO read updated recently and i forgot!!! i still gotta read it!!!]

i know for me i like to use the notes as like bonus thought process rattling zone and also bc i tbh struggle to tag things lol. im pretty sparse in the actual tags cuz i feel like thats where the core info should go, and then i do my "here's my thought process and the various hurdles i ran into every 5 seconds" rambling in the tags before/after lol, bc i figure thats just extra people can skip if they just wanna read the story. and i dont really write much in the way of triggering topics usually so i dont personally have extra stuff to warn about. that's an interesting take on how you use them! and probably very helpful lol. i'll have 2 remember that if i ever try to be brave for a multi chapter fic lmao

[eric-the-bmo]

Tell me more about Ven pls!!

Oh!!!!!! Oh Ven my beloved!!! He’s so awful okay where do I start oh goodness-

{warnings for mentions of cannibalism, manipulation, memory loss, and suicide ideation}

Also all of this is from memory, I haven’t checked his character document in like half a year-

So! Mechanically speaking, Ven is a dnd character I have yet to play (im so sorry, ive got you intrigued by my dnd oc), but I’ve planned out events in my head and he essentially functions as a whump oc, my funky little pathetic magician who will be covered in blood. In regards to Dungeons and Dragons, he’s an Aberrant Mind Sorcerer with the Haunted One background <3

He likes poetry, peppermint tea, the color green, and would really just prefer to live peacefully in Meadowvale with his wife. He’s quiet and a bit nervous, and is reluctant to admit he has magic and has a habit of talking to himself. He dislikes being pushed on certain topics and will erupt in anger if continued to be pushed, and will often stalk off to read poetry to calm down (nerd). He also likes cooking, and carries around a journal that functions as both a poetry book and diary. He has very long fingers, a sign that his body has already begun to change from delayed ceremorphosis. I’m uh, I’m not the best at describing personalities? Maybe I’ll ramble more but here’s his backstory:

Ven showed up to Meadowvale around 8 years ago and bought an empty bookshop to use as his own. He was very religious and never spoke much about his past, even to Ophelia, the captain of the guard who would eventually become his wife. The two of them got married, and it rained, but that was okay. A little over a year ago in the current timeline, he suddenly disappeared. Search parties were sent out but to no avail, and eventually Ophelia hired a passing adventuring party (who called themselves the Dice Crew, and might lowkey be wanted by the law) to go find him. They did in fact find him, in the woods, and while he was a bit apprehensive they managed to bring him back to her. Unfortunately what they didn’t realize was that during his time being missing, he was being held captive in a mind flayer lair (hooray!). He had fit the requirements for the ceremorphosis process, and so an illthid tadpole was inserted into his brain via his eye. Before it was inserted, however, he prayed to every deity he could think of, begging for them to come save him. None of them did, of course, and in his last moments before the parasite ate away at him he vowed to never worship them again. Anyway he has Extreme Memory Loss, and one of the only things he remembers is that the gods did not help him (help him with what, exactly, he doesn’t remember). (Also fun fact it’s implied there are other people like him who got implanted with parasites, hooray)

He eventually get reaccustomed to everything, but due to so many townspeople worrying over him he eventually felt,,, guilty? He dislikes being pitied, and perhaps if I had the words I could explain it better. This is around the time he starts to develop some sort of PTSD from what happened- disliking things going near his eyes, panicking whenever he sees a tadpole or some kind of multi-legged bug, nightmares he can’t quite remember. Ophelia tries her best to help him (genuinely let’s acknowledge how she’s also going through a lot atm, we love Ophelia in this household) This is also when the parasite residing in his brain starts to act up. More migraines, sleepwalking (*cough* it’s possession *cough*), things like that. The parasite also communicates with Ven, although since he doesn’t know of its existence, he merely thinks it’s his own thoughts, and often speaks out loud “with himself” to try and figure out his thoughts. Cere essentially functions as intrusive thoughts, self-hatred and anxiety for Ven. One day in the summer a man enters the shop with a dagger and threatens to kill Ven, implying he knows the poet. Ven, having no recollection of this man, tries to deesculate the situation. The stranger lunges at him, and in this moment of stress- Well, his body’s psionic magics have slowly been building up for a long time. With all of it suddenly being unlocked, well... the man was torn apart, and Ven entered a panic attack. Unbeknownst to himself, he used his magic to make Ophelia hide the body, and he was afraid of this newfound sorcery. His guilt over being a supposed burden to his wife, as well as all of his guilt over murdering a stranger/ his anxiety over being found out, his fears of hurting Ophelia with his magic... There were a lot of factors, one of them being Cere’s manipulation, of course, that pushed him to leave. He reasoned that if he became an adventurer, he could find a way to get rid of his horrible magic. He secretly gathered up everything he felt he needed to become an adventurer, and on his and Ophelia’s wedding anniversary they spent the entire day together. It was nice. He left in the middle of the night, with a letter on the counter explaining why he had gone. He promises her he will write to her (there will be no address listed, to prevent her from tracking him down. He wants to do this himself.), and that he will come home eventually.

While he doesn’t have a good grasp on his magic yet (sometimes accidentally using it), he has a good enough grasp that he can manipulate it enough to avoid killing anyone with it. AKA, his spellcasting primarily focuses on Utility, Enchantments, Area of Effect, anything besides violence, although he does have a few small-damage spells. Despite having a green color palette, his magic is purple, a color that’s primarly used for Ceremorph. When using his Metamagic or using extra Spell Slots (AKA when he uses too much magic ig), it will result in a nosebleed.

Eventually Ven will discover the parasite in his brain, as well as the fact he’s becoming a mind flayer, and it just overall won’t be a very fun time for him (he has a horrible mental breakdown and temporarily goes insane, because the way he finds out is that he blacks out and wakes up in the middle of eating a man’s brain). I’ve a few scenes in mind, such as him considering bashing his head against the wall. My personal favorite is where he considers staking himself with the tools from his monster hunting kit, because isnt he a monster? Isnt it better to destroy himself now, rather than watch himself become worse? He’ll decide against it, saying he promised Ophelia he’d come home. (It’s also because even I don’t want him to die like that, that’s too dark for me. I want this poet to get better.)

he has such low self esteem, he doesn’t want to bother people and so he doesnt bring up his trauma at all and feels bad when he needs to be comforted. He has religious trauma and an avoidance coping mechanism and it’s so terribly bad, bestie u cant run from the parasite in ur brain. He wants to help others to try and prove he’s not a bad person, that he’s not a monster, and despite making bad decisions he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He likes cooking, eventually he’ll only be able to be a cannibal. He’s a bit of an asshole. He’s against murder and will try to find another way to apprehend enemies, but hates the Gods and will in fact try to stab one (with the Stranger’s Dagger, mind you, because I love parallels), deep down he’s worried he did something that caused him to lose the Gods’ favor. He’s got PTSD from two fucking events, I want him to hallucinate. Ophelia deserves to be really pissed at him. He’s gonna have a horrible time, I want him to have a happy ending after everything he’s gone though.

He’s my pathetic little poet and I adore him, he’s in a psychological horror movie <3

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[disaster-fruit]

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

[amphipodgirl]

fic writer interview

Thank you to @omgcmere for tagging me!

name: Chris. I have two fan fic posting names, Ampithoe for General and Teen rated fic and Gammarus for Mature and Explicit. If you ever see an AmphipodGirl on some other social media platform, it’s probably me. 8^)

fandoms: Carry On is my first love, my fandom home, the only fandom I’ve written for (not counting some crossovers). I really love reading TRC fic and hope to write some eventually, and there are also some RWRB fics that I love. I’ve recently become obsessed with Alexis Hall’s explicit mlm romances (the Spires and Arden St. Ives series) and would love to see more fan fics written for those!

where you post: AO3 -- it’s the only fan fic site I’ve been either a writer or a reader for (yes, I’m a newbie!)

most popular one-shot: The Courtship of Princess Agatha, a cute little fairytale AU, almost a fable.

most popular multi-chapter: Parent-Teacher Association I had been really loving some slow-burn non-magical AU fics, so I gathered up my courage and wrote one of my own. I don’t think I really nailed the “slow burn” part -- I’ve learned some stuff since then -- but I do love it dearly. They say “write what you know” and I don’t know anything about working in a coffeeshop or a bookstore; I know about IEP meetings and chronic illness -- so Foster Dad Simon and Crohn’s Disease Baz were born.

favorite story I’ve written so far: I’m awfully fond of PTA, but my real labor of love was Mi Chamocha (Who Is Like You). It has Baz as an Egyptian scribe and Simon as a Hebrew slave living (and eventually loving) through the tumultuous events of the Biblical Exodus. I really enjoyed digging deep into Exodus and I also feel like I really made the slow burn work.

fic you were nervous to post: I don’t usually have a lot of nerves about posting a fic, but A People Pet was my first smut fic and that had me kind of uncertain. 

how do you choose your titles: Usually something comes to me at some point while I’m working on the fic. I’ll feel stuck for a long time, but then something will just hit me, and I’ll be like “Yes! That!” I was so happy when I came up with the title for Mi Chamocha, which had been a WIP for months under the name Exodus AU.

do you outline: A bit? I usually spend a while thinking about the fic and jotting random notes, which include different things that could happen in the story. Eventually I pick the ones I want to use and put them in some order and that’s my very simple outline. I’ll then write each one up as a chapter, and rotate between chapters as I write -- going back to put more detail and polish on each one. Cycling between chapters helps me keep my brain fresh. I have one current WIP that’s pretty complicated -- four important characters, and I want to be sure that I’m covering feelings and character development for all of them -- and my old, lightweight outlining style isn’t going to be enough. I’ve downloaded Scrivener and I’m hoping that will give me the ability to see all those dimensions and keep track of all of it.

complete: I have 14 published fics between my two accounts -- three are multi-chaptered and the rest are one-shots. I wrote all of those this year -- I published my first (short and slightly pointless) fic at the beginning of March.

in progress: I’m working actively on the complicated 4-character piece I mentioned above. I’ve also got a few other WIPs: one with the working title “cuff smut”, one where Shep first meets Blue, and The Longest Time, which is the sequel to PTA. I definitely want to finish The Longest Time; whether I finish the other two remains to be seen.

coming soon: A couple of days ago I wrote a sweet fluffy one-shot for the Carry On Winter Flash Exchange. I’ll probably post that on 12/23, which is the first day of posting for the exchange. I’m really happy with what I wrote and I hope my recipient likes it!

prompts: I don’t really solicit prompts; I’m not confident about being able to just come up with something for any given idea. When I looked at the prompt list for this year’s Carry On Countdown, I only had ideas for a few of the prompts, and I only ended up finishing and posting two of them. 

I tag @banjjakbanjjak @flammable-grimm-pitch @im-gettingby @arca9 @super-duper-twelve @gampyre @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @thehoneyedhufflepuff @captain-aralias and anyone else who would like to ramble on about their writing life.

[ghost-maya]

Fic Writer Interview

thanks for tagging me @omgchyeahplease !!! nick ily <33 god i missed tag games so much 🥺 (i just got back from a month long on hiatus for future context)

Name: maya :D

Fandoms: on ao3 that’d be vld, tdp, ml, ghibli, and hq. i dont think im going to be writing anymore tdp, but ive been writing for the others (yes, even voltron aslkdfj) so they may or may not pop up again :^)

Where you post: just ao3! i technically have a wattpad..and theres a fic i wrote sitting there from when i was 13...but i dont plan on posting there ever again lol

Most popular one-shot: hits-wise, that’d be Unrequited, a lil piece i wrote because i was frustrated with how the vld writers were handling lance’s relationships lol. kudos-wise, it’s Finding Our Way, a backstory fic i wrote for amaya and gren from tdp for a secret santa. both are from 2018 so id love to see another one of my fics get more attention, but i do still like those two well enough!

Most popular multi-chapter: well..i supposed by default it’d be Sensations...it’s SUPPOSED to be a multichap,,but it still only has one chapter. it says 1/? so im counting it tho lol. maybe one day ill finish it :”D

Fic you were nervous to post: probably Ruins because i originally started it for a bang that i joined..didnt finish it on time..then got inspiration to finish it later and posted it separately :”D. i got MASSIVE guilt over that ohn god

How you choose your titles: i used very chaotically pick lyrics from meme songs exclusively LSDKJF but then i actually started thinking about story themes and through lines and just choose it based on that now lol

Do you outline: god i wish i did LOL maybe id be able to write a multichap for once in my life if i actually had a solid plot to follow. the closest thing to outlining that i do is ramble about my ideas to my friends and then make up shit as i go along 

Do you take prompts: aha well i dont really use my socmeds for writing - but if i ever got followers for my writing maybe i would! i did once for the ml writers guild im in and i actually really enjoyed it

Complete: 16 full fanfictions (tiny oneshots)! posted that is. i have another complete one sitting around because its for a zine that hasnt been shipped out yet.

In Progress: i have one posted in progress multichap as i mentioned, and then...well..hm i mean i could count all the docs in my “current wips” google folder but who am i kidding LOL im only really actively working on like 4 of them rn. im really excited about my haikyuu wips but i wont say anything about them because if i do i might never finish any LOL

tagging @kiroiimye @bringingglory @uh-leesh @deitay @eggscellence @actuallyasweetpotato  @pacifistpinnapple @e-milieeee and any of my other moots if you want to!

[zombiequincy]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. 

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry) 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise ! 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !! 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!! 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation. 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @bazzardburner​ cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu​ @blooming5th​ @viciousvizard​ @glacies-tempestatem​ and whoever else wishes to do this!!

[bubblepunk99s]

Amara

Dust motes danced in the airy light of Anis’ study as he shifted through a storm of essences.

He had called his desk an ‘aromatic apothecary’. Amara had dubbed it a ‘scent bench’. Racks of essence bottles curved around him as he furiously scribbled formulas on to wafers of paper. Occasionally he would un-cork one, releasing a burst of scent that filled the room before dissipating just as quickly- rose oil, hyacinth, slowly burning sandalwood, even that metal stench Amara had always associated with the Void gates back home. Anis would take stock of it then return to his scribbling.

Another uncorking. A fierce note of burning pepper-bush flooded Amara’s nostrils. Then it was gone. More scribbling.

“That was a good one.”  

“Hmm.” Anis sounded unconvinced. “Bit too overpowering, might need a modifier, maybe a citrus ester or a floral one. But that’s in my rayiha so I’ve been told and I don’t think it’s very becoming of me to aim for a signature just yet...”

He continued on in this manner. Amara really didn’t mind. She’d learned a lot over the past week thanks to Anis’ ramblings- his role as a student in the school of extracting (itself part of the house of sciences) the nature of his craft, the Soljin’s nature as part of a greater whole- one of four peoples that had split apart from days spent as Void-wandering nomads, different in many ways but bound by the faith that had united them so long ago- the faith of midãd, the pursuit of the divine substance. Anis considered his work to be the greatest expression of that history, crafting multi-layered scents from countless differing essences.

“So, how’s your work coming along?”

“Oh.” Rising herself from her stupor, Amara glanced back at her sketches. Though Anis had provided a desk to study at right next to a disused alembic, her mind had been elsewhere. It was with Tia and the others now searching for ingredients in the shops and markets. Ingredients for Met’s...treatment.

“Something is in you.” She had said to her, sitting her down in the lovers’ small home. “Call it a baran, call it kaba, call it whatever you like. Just know it isn’t getting out unless we force it out.”

“A...” Amara remembered. “The bolt.”

“Yes, the bolt. The one you were struck by. It came from the god-grounds.”

“You knew about that?!” Tia had been aghast

“I sensed something in her when we shook hands. You telling me about the storm destroying your district confirmed my suspicions. Why do you think I chose to let you stay after your friend’s treatment?”

“So, you were keeping things from us.” Udana said. “Why should we trust you now?”

“It’s not about trust. It’s about necessity. You think the wights you met in the desert were bad? Whatever’s in you now is far older, far darker. I don’t know how it got into you but I know I’m the only one in this city that can get it out. You need more than a doctor, you need someone who understands the dead.”

Silence. Then Khedes had spoken up.

“We can help you.”

“Amara?”

Amara blinked. “Sorry... just thinking about-”

“About your condition?”

She nodded. Setting his work aside, Anis came up and laid a hand on her shoulder. Thankfully he wasn’t shocked back 10 meters.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you more. That way you wouldn’t have to rely on that frightful pair.” He rubbed his neck. “If only I could be more like En-Kindi.”

“Who?”

“En-Kindi, the founder of the school of extracting, part of the house of sciences first master’s council. He could do everything: perfume, metallurgy, astronomy, cryptography. A true polymath! He once said that “time exists only with motion.  Body with motion, motion with body. If there is motion there is necessarily body, if there is body there is necessarily motion.”

“How does that relate to all my problems?”

“It means if you keep moving forward then things will definitely work out in the end!”

They both chuckled at that. Then awkward silence resumed.

“You know” Anis continued. “He also said we should devote ourselves to the truth. Always keep looking for it, even if it came from peoples distant and nations different from us. I think he approve of you coming all the way out here...and that he would want me to help you.”

Amara gave a gentle, tired smile. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

Anis smiled back. He was about to say something more when suddenly there was a wrapping at the door. Perplexed, he went and opened it. He returned with a small wooden box. Lifting its lid revealed 4 small perfume bottles and a note with 4 words in the Soljinn script written on it. Amara recognised them as street names.

Anis’ smile faded.

“Come on. Time I showed you the other part of my job.”

Kuru’s house of sciences was an alternating mix of interior and exterior spaces. Shadowed hallways would lead to fragrant courtyards bordered by rounded pillars of Aban-Sad stone. Its student body a mix of promising young scholars swelled by the patronage of established academics and those who had been sent by less established families to rise through scholarship and intellectual endeavour. Anis was one such student.

“Wish you could have seen things when everyone was here. Boys would wear off-world jeans under their work robes. We dared each other to flip them up when to get a glimpse of what style they were trying out.”

“Did you really?”

Anis blinked. “Please don’t assume every strapping young Soljinn man is as socially awkward as me.”

That of course had changed with the Corvus’ arrival. The school was backed by public funding, along with that of the social elite- bankers, merchants and military officers. When the Corvus assumed command that wellspring quickly dried up. Students and teachers alike dropped out, some seeking to get jobs as translators and scientists, others hurling themselves against the walls of the Nest in protest.

So now the school Amara walked through was a ghost of its former self. A time when the sound of scratching pens on paper and all manner of scientific, philosophical and theological discourse that fell under the banner of falsafa- Natural studies- filled the air. A time when so many Rayihas joined together it was hard to tell when one person’s soul ended and another’s began.

“That’s one sad story.” Amara said sympathetically, as they head out through the school’s main embossed arch.

“Not half as sad as where we’re going, I’m afraid.”

Where they were headed was a street in the city’s old quarter. En-Yaqut it was called, the birthplace of some of the city’s finest biographers and renowned for its scroll-stores, literary cafes and abundant collections of ornate manuscripts. After all, was it not said that the ink of the quill was holier than the blood of the martyr?

Amara couldn’t see that beauty now. As they followed the street downhill, the air began to smell of smoke. Shutters covered the front of shops, emblazoned with graffiti of a bird spreading its wings between two trees. A young boy flicked rocks at these shutters, which quickly burst into flames, alighted by security lasers.

“Oh no...”

Amara turned to see what Anis was looking at. Standing at a bend in the road was a charred husk of a building. It looked like it had come from Amara’s ruined district, though it stood alone instead of being surrounded by others like it. A crowd had gathered, some dousing the charred walls with water jets.

“Not Shaba...”

“You!” An old woman cried, in black robes with embroiled cuffs. “You from the house?”

“I am... I am.” Anis confirmed. “Please Shaba...the owner of this place...he isn’t...”

The lady shook her head. “Some of his clients were translators for the Corvus. A fight broke out over it and then the fire started. He didn’t survive.”

Anis fell to his knees, his breathing ragged. Amara knelt with him.

“A friend?”

He nodded shakily.

Amara didn’t need to know any more. But she needed to snap Anis out of this.

“Anis, we came here to do something. Do you remember?

Another nod. With trembling hands, he took out one of the vials and poured its contents on to the ground, murmuring what sounded like a prayer under his breath.

Slowly a rayiha surrounded them. It smelled like drying paint and fresh parchment. Amara almost thought she saw it, as a hazy silhouette of a man standing before them.

Anis seemed to glimpse it to.

“You always were so accepting, Shaba.” He turned to the woman. “Make sure the Clerics find his body and give it the rites. We have others to see to.”

He then swerved back up the way they had come. Amara nearly had to run to keep up with him.

“Perfumes are an accompaniment to someone’s soul. Naturally they can be used to guide and heal lost ones. When a body is prepared for the rites, we provide perfumes to guide the rayiha back to it.”

He gave Amara a gentle, tired smile.

“The house of sciences may be fading, but that line of work keeps me occupied a lot nowadays.”

Why had they come?

To dethrone tyrants of course! The rulers of Kuru had become depraved and needed removing. Had they not rounded up dissident scholars, removed them from public office? Had they not charged exorbitant fees for the stone of Kuru, exploiting them over the years? Had they not acted to the detriment of every non-Soljinn in the city and punished those who practiced tolerance? Men like Shaba?

“Well that was a fucking lie.” Anis growled.

The Corvus’ defeat of these men- the feared mihna lawgivers- had been like something of out of a legend. The air had suddenly filled with white light. Spears of it leapt down to strike the lawgivers palace. Then ship after ship had floated down to continue the assault.

Such talk there had been! Anti-regime cells had gathered in the coffee shops whispering of plans that would never see fulfillment. Some wrote and translated advisory letters to the Corvus, others hoped that translation schools would be built to speed negotiations between the people and the invaders.

Such dreams- of translation, of communication- had died swiftly when the Corvus demonstrated how they translated with their first routine survey.

So, the days went on. Anti-Corvus groups making a scene, the Corvus themselves appearing out of nowhere to make a bigger mess of it. Men like Shaba- known for his tolerance of all peoples and the generosity of his spirit- killed in the crossfire, while others like Anis trailed after the violence, hoping to help in whatever way they could.

“So, you still don’t know why they are here?” Amara asked. By the time they reached the House of Science’s entrance the sun was setting. A day spent attending similar sites to the one on En-Yaqut street had left her drained. She would need to talk to Tia tonight.

“Don’t know don’t care.” Anis’ voice had seemed to age over the day, becoming as rough as Met’s at times “I’m just trying to survive.”

Just trying to survive. Made her little treasure hunt seem silly by comparison. Then Amara reminded herself she was doing it to help her own people survive as well.

Turning to the path to Met’s house, Amara thought about the violence she had seen here- how it could spread so easily to her own home, how many homes it had already taken. She thought about the artefacts lying discarded in the God-grounds and the wreckage of Shaba’s slowly burning shop.

As she did, the taste of electricity filled her mouth and goosebumps spread across her skin.

[esportsgal]

An archival record of the Esports Experience

Hello! If you have found this blog, you have stumbled upon the ramblings of a university graduate student currently operating in the professional collegiate esports sphere. 

I’m mostly writing this blog for my course on Trendspotting in Digital Media, but I honeslty feel as though keeping a record of my research will also be beneficial. Being in such a budding new field as Esports, I have experienced the very beginning of the professional gaming environment on my campus and managed to curate the community into a 1000+ member force with a professional esports room and multiple high end esports connections. I was able to spot the more mainstream start of esports 5 years ago, and I am curious what else I can get on the bandwagon of in order to optimize my productive gaming experience. I also really enjoy VR, which went through its own growth arc in society. I hope that this course can give me a higher understanding into how to willfully pinpoint future trends and actively peruse them, rather than simply falling into emerging industries out of interest on my own leisure. 

So here is a little bit about me in order to understand exactly where im coming from here: I grew up on Long Island within an hours train of both the best city in the world (NYC) and the rolling vinyards on the coast, capped off by beautiful calm beaches. Unfortunately, the outside has bugs, so who needs it? I was lucky to spend alot of my time growing up helping my dad build early 2000s computers before trotting off to my own to play my Barbie PC Rom games. Ive always been neck deep into the newest strangest early 2000s tech, and ended up skipping my emo phase entirely in favor of a cringy Kawaii Fandom phase (not that anythings wrong with anime, i still watch it today but back then I was.....extra....). I never stopped gaming all the while. All the nintendo consoles resided in our household with the xbox and playstation eventually creeping its way in. Theres literally a pile in a drawer somewhere of like 6 space DS’s from me and my sister constantly upgrading from DS to 3DS to 3DSXL and soforth. It was really only natural that I got into gaming at a more organizational scale as I got older. 

Therefore, in my class I want to sort of pay back the universe for letting me grow up in such a cool era for video games and take it one step further into the budding professional world of esports. Esports as a reputable and mainstream entity is so new. I had several old lady friends of my grandma come to me with endless questions when that child won the multi million dollar Fortnite competition and it made national news, complete with cries of “but its a game!! thats so much money for playing a game, I could do that!!” as if they could even learn how to open a new tab. So even if it takes years (which for me its already taken 5 just to grow my university program), I want to follow esports on its journey to a mainstream, serious, reputable entity in every day life.

[abra-ka-dammit]

a lot of my dreams involve driving, now much more heavily than they did before i knew how to, but usually now its not scary, just Part Of The Story. i need to Get Somewhere.

a lot of em have also involved flying in some way lately which i find interesting because im fucking terrified of heights and the idea of falling but last night i was gliding and trying to figure out how to get higher up, and ive flown with wings, with magic, on mounts, and somehow im never actually afraid

theres also a lot of school that i may or may not actually be attending which never fails to fuck me up because the school i dream of is like some weirdass mall with no rhyme or reason to it, then theres always creepy fucked up/surreal/dilapidated buildings that seem like they should be haunted or part of some supernatural horror movie but just make you Think instead (usually itll be where i live in the dream), then theres often sleeping, me having Girlfriends, going to food places, the store, and ofc theres almost always some weirdass animals and/or my cats involved

(oddly enough, any time theres food involved, i never eat. i look at the food if its out but ill never take or order anything...?)

theres also often people i dont know or vaguely know (like old family friend-families) just kinda chilling and/or living with me, and if one of my parents show up theyre usually antagonistic

and of COURSE, most of my dreams end up having Video Game aspects to them. ive made multiple trips to the same dungeon/cave that respawns with “enemies”?, ive flown over maps full of mobs with chunks of sort of different Zones and went to my Quest Destination to find Specific Person for Specific Reason (i dunno about battles tho? i think ive stealthed around a lot of potential fights, guess my subconscious is as bad at writing combat as me awake), ive even done a multi-part escort quest/scenario deal in some egypty desert place where we were in airships and shooting down at huge waves of mobs and then we hit this huge door and had to go by foot through a temple that was cavernous and mazelike and at the end we emerged to a completely different ecosystem and it was wild. lately ive also been to a beach under siege where people are fighting some sorta demons and theres wreckage and airships and the lighting is sometimes pretty red and dark, but the hills and cliffs by the beach include a cave that leads to a spidery tunnel that usually ends up leading to an underground building of some sort

theres been like, theme park rides in a couple (like uh, roller coasters n shit) which are always the same of a small chunk (like theres some water log slide i get a lot) but i almost never actually ride them, just end up walking around on the parts u go up to get to the top

(i have been on a couple water slides in my dreams which are always crazy, long, and sometimes scary, but tbh i love water slides irl, even if i almost drowned at the end of one as a kid because my mom weighed a lot more than me and the double tube flipped and i ended up under water and my dumb ass still doesnt know how to swim to this day.... mom got me tho all good)

sometimes my actual irl friends show up which is always interesting since i know them primarily through the text they send me online, so i feel like even tho i know what they all actually look like they show up in my dreams as a very vague entity that my brain just kinda fills in the context for (”that fuzzy humanish shaped form is karen” “sure, okay, seems legit”) and they never seem to behave “in character”

(probably due to my own insecurities)

then theres always those strange dreams where im in mutual dokis with someone i have 0 feelings for irl where i wake up afterwards and lay there like..... shit.... DO I like that person???? do I NOW?

(no. it’s just a dream, dumbass. i knew damn well who i liked in high school and it wasnt her.)

then theres stuff that shows up a lot in dreams that are usually actually kinda nice, like the long roads surrounded by nothing but empty dirt that lead into craggy mountains that end in this beautiful cliff cave-like thing with open walls so youre shaded but can see by sunlight, with a lake that waterfalled into another clear lake outside, and in the cave is a perfect little sitting balcony where ive often gone by myself but also have brought others to (including dazzle?)

and shit that shows up in a lot of the Bad Dreams, like the one-lane highways that for whatever reason turn into super high, twisty ramps with no fucking sides at all

oh and not to mention any time i feel really insecure in a dream im usually dating or trying to get back with my ex i was with for 6 years because all the time ive spent single since makes me wonder if i made the right choice because maybe hes the only person who’ll ever actually love me lmfao so hes always rly nice and supportive of whatever im feeling weird about (my teeth, my body, my unshaved legs, etc), except then sometimes my dreams remind me of the whole pressure/guilt-coerced sex and various other shitty parts of what we had so YEAHHHH

anyways theres a lot more i cant think of rn too but there u go, a buncha dream rambles from me

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

1-35 on fanfic asks

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

2 stars maybe? Im not great and i forget a lot of things. but no one can stop me from writing and i enjoy it. the more i do it the more i may like my own writing one day

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Fanfiction is everything to me. It was a matter of time until i started writing it seriously for myself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Literally nothing. I tend to go off with ships and specific things i want represented... but thats it. anyone can write.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Always! so many! the best thing about fanfiction is how it builds upon itself and spreads!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Im very proud of Secret Baby/ River run. Its large and a mess and i hate it. But im proud ive done it. A completed one im proud of is "Compress said its his turn on the murder screen" i think i did well with that one and kept the tone I wanted.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

Arguments between characters and having them express themselves other ways.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It's the making up and posting works i struggle with. Along with editing which is another monster.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

I do love the murder boys! Dabi, Itachi, Deidara, Naruto (should have killed everyone), Reno. If theyve got issues i love them!

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

happy characters. I just don't know what to do with them. Like a domestic setting with no action? nope not for me!

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

Hurt/comfort has always been my jam!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

im not entirely sure? I havent been really writing/posting that long.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Expectations! its a collaboration i'm working on with a friend and a DabiHawks fanfiction again! It's a fic where they fall in bed together before they even like each other. A lot of assumptions are made and not a lot of talking gets done until quite a bit of Damage has been done. Hawks finds out that Dabi's been doing some things he wasnt comfy with just because he didnt know how to tell Hawks and because he was attached to him. It's messy and won't get less so.

interesting to write to say the least because im such a Zero tolerance person.

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

part of my heart will always belong to naruto. can't leave it. But im enjoying writing for bnha immensely!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

Food Fantasy! a video game i did a short one shot on last october!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Soulmate au's! Omegaverse! I love tropes! Oh! Hanahaki!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

none.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I wouldn't say ive done anything too wild?

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

get canon away from me! i love au's! any and all!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

both!

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

currently its DabiHawks! i love my enemies to lovers! (everyone deserves compassion lave and basic decency)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! some fics have specific playlists!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

All of the above! i dont know how to put wips back lol!

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

I like one shots better but the amount of effort for multichapter fics is something else tbh!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes a few times brought on by comments! What if Hawks ran in to Dabi early on or if Dabi had stayed and talked to Hawks the last night they spent together. None of it ever really goes well? Dabi has no support besides his Significant Other in both of these and i dont like that.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Nope! Ive been getting the hang of NSFW and i feel like that's one of my biggest areas to improve on!

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

any! seriously i love comments! telling me to write more or that i forgot something was done 6 chapters ago or a string of emoji's!

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

Much better than I used to!

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Every time i post lol. Im pretty comfortable with a variety of things! there's been times in this roleplay i participate in that i was very uncomfortable with how my character was acting but that was the entire point and it turned out well considering the outrage he kept causing!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Best of both! ive also taken a shine to writing things that out of story context are fluff but in context are horrendous angst!

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Nope! I don't really do Oc's!

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

Secret Baby/ River Run- Dabi gets pregnant and runs away. Hawks is the father.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I've had such a kind fantastic audience but i wish they would pay some more attention sometimes to why i have characters do things the way they do. Hawks leaves Dabi alone? theres a reason for that and the awnser is not to stalk him. even for Dabi's saftey.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Dabi dosen't meet Rumi like expected. He expected to just get taken out by her in a fight one day, if they met at all. Not him cleaning his torn staples in Hawks bathroom after he's been shoved in there, Rumi having interrupted a blowjob and Hawks had roughly shoved him in his bathroom. He couldn't hear much of the conversation going on outside. But what he could made his face burn with embarrassment as he tried to put himself together. The fact that she was also a Hero and Hawks best friend made him nervous. What a great first impression, sucking her best friends dick with a bloody face. -" NOT DATING-" Hawks voice broke through for a moment and then quieted. -"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF HE'S A VILLAIN KEIGO, HE WAS JUST GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB THERE IS NO ." There was a loud thump as Rumi was yelling and Dabi let himself flinch here in private. She quieted down soon after she had started yelling. Dabi sat down against the sinks cupboard and rested his head on his knees. Waiting for it to stop and Hawks to kick him out. He wouldn't actually get to meet Rumi as Keigo's, well as Keigo's anything. It was just sex between them on Hawks end anyways. There's stomping towards the door and Dabi scrambles up as he resists the urge to lock the door. To lock himself inside like a child thinking it will save him from Enjis rath. Hawks is.... he's not kind to Dabi, but he's not Enji either. The door opens and Rumi's gaze finds him as he's getting up. He ducks his head and gives a little half hearted wave, not sure what she's doing. Why she's looking at him with a gaze much softer than expected. "Hey. Sorry I walked in on you guys. I'm Rumi. Hawks best friend he's been hiding away from you." "I uh. Um. Dabi? I go by Dabi. I think it's more like I'm just his dirty little secret." He gives a small dry chuckle and a smirk, a tad on the mean side like he did with Keigo. It came out a little to real and he winced. He sounded like a whiny asshole, he thought as he kept his gaze on his bare toes digging into the tile. "Dabi, I doubt Keigo thinks of you like that." Rumi reaches her hand out and Dabi tenses in anticipation of her grabbing him. To harm him maybe? To throw him in cuffs? Out of Keigo's apartment but he has no doubt that he will be there soon enough after Rumi leaves. "Its fine. I'm just a villain he can sleep with ya know?" Rumi gets a determined look in her eye as she draws her hand back, having noticed him tense up. "I'm going to give you my number Dabi. Villains don't any resources and I don't like how Hawks treated you when I walked in. If anything happens, I want you to have a way out. I don't think you've told your friends who your sleeping with. Or you would have teleported out of here." Dabi hands his phone over still in shock to Rumi and she gently takes it. She's still super confident in person but, there's no violence or anger from her. Its... suprising.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Dabi and Hawks can both have issues and have to put in some serious effort to not only see those issues, but work together with them. this has been a PSA.