#(if they actually released it here but if i talk anymore the doctors will restrain me)

[ya-gurl-emily]

its been 3 months and cinemas here are still showing deadpool and wolverine, this is why cinemas are dying

[readngandweepng]

a nsft brief glimpse into my mind here but god i love men who can’t help but beg for you in their mother tongue because they just feel so good they can’t think straight enough to stick to one language. even hotter when you can’t understand them so they’re just bucking their hips as they prattle away, and maybe you can hear a “please” or a call of your name through the rambling before it’s cut short as they cum. and if you can understand them it makes them reach their peak even faster when you abide by a command they weren’t even aware they blurted out in the midst of their mind literally breaking.

actually, might even be hotter to fuck someone with an entire language barrier between you, where the only understanding you have is that you want to fuck each other. you wouldn’t need to exchange words to get the hint when they get on their back or stomach and basically present themselves to you, and if that somehow doesn’t get the message across they’ll put their mouth to use by getting on their knees and fishing your cock out. when you actually fuck them is when they won’t be able to stop talking, and regardless of what you say or how you say it, they’ll moan and whine all the same because language barrier aside they just want to get fucked.

i was gonna rant about thorns (from arknights, who i'll post about soon btw) in my tags but it got too long so im doing it under the cut here lmao

so thorn's eng voice got released and oh my god. i kind of need thorns. like i NEED him. i could single-handedly repopulate iberia if i had to. i would be the worst doctor because all i would want to do is fuck thorns. i want him to speak spanish to me i want to fuck him so hard that he can't speak english anymore someone would have to physically restrain me from breeding him. also off topic but i can imagine him literally making his own t shots because like seriously he probably would do it for fun. ftm thorns he'd be really flat chested already and wouldn't feel the need to bind either. and he'd be so fertile ugghh........

[dakotakazansky]

Meet Atlas Blake

Notes: This goes along with a series currently being written by @mayhemmanaged and @cassiemitchell!

Update 01/31/2024: This fic belongs to an alternative timeline of a fic that is currently being rewritten by the original authors. ATLAS’ CHARACTER IS MY OWN AND I REFUSE TO DELETE MY HARD WORK

INTRODUCING:

Atlas Blake aka Loki

“Atlas Blake!” I hear my name called, and I release the hand of my long time high school sweetheart, looking over and smiling at Bradley before walking up the stage to receive my Masters of Law Degree. I hear the loud screaming from Emory, Birdie, and Bradley. My ride or die, the people I would do anything for. I remember the day I met Emory vividly.

—

I had just finished getting a scumbag placed into Jail for a year, due to a domestic dispute. The poor girl looked better now, but the photos I saw as evidence had her looking pretty rough.

It was a few weeks later and I’m sitting in the coffee shop near campus, drinking on a Caramel Macchiato, and studying to pass the next exam in the class to then move on to the next BAR exam, for my Masters of Law. I was having a hard time focusing though, some guy was trying to entice a woman to get with him. I’m sure the words falling out of his mouth were more on the crude side than the actual complementing side.

When he started to lay hands on her, and I noticed her flinching, was when I had had enough of this guy’s tomfoolery. I slammed my book shut, closed my laptop gently, and strided over to the two of them. I grabbed the guy by the shoulder and pulled him around to face me. “Now I know I have heard this pretty lady here tell you no more than once, so listen here buddy, I know about a thousand and one or more ways to get you served with a restraining order. Once again the lady said no, so I suggest you get moving before I start drafting an order up. Do you hear me?!” I say powerfully through gritted teeth.

The poor excuse for a man mutters something about being a bitch, and I just laugh it off. It's not the first time I’d heard that, and as a woman going for throats in law, I for damn well know it won’t be the last time. I nodded to the woman, glad to finally have the peace and quiet restored to the coffee shop, and I turned to head back to my table.

“Hey wait a moment?” I hear her say, “You’re one of the people that was on my defense team.” When I finally and fully get a good look at her, I recognize her from the trial that I had just done and internship on. I nod back to her. “I’m Atlas Blake, most call me Blake though.” She reaches a hand out to me, “I’m Emory. I’m so grateful for you and your team, and what you guys pulled off for me.”

I take her hand in mine, shaking it. “I’m just disappointed they only gave him a year, we had him set up for quite a few actually. Anyways, I’m glad that guy isn’t bothering you anymore, I’m just going to head back over there” I say pointing to my stuff, “and continue studying. It was really nice to meet you.”

“Hey Blake, would you mind actually sitting over here with me? My friend Birdie is running a little behind, and I’d love it if you'd sit with me until she got here.” Emory said. I nodded, “Yeah, just let me gather up my stuff really quickly.” I packed up my table, threw away my wrapper from my snack earlier, and grabbed my coffee and made my way back over to Emory. I sat down with her, and we just started talking. Once her friend Birdie got there, she introduced us, and we all sat there together just chatting away. She mentioned they were in school to get their MBAs and I told them how I already had my Juris Doctor and was currently finishing school to finally get my Masters of Law. Something about the three of us just clicked, and from that day we were thick as thieves, you could hardly separate us.

—

Now that the semester was finally over, I was set to take up Co-Ownership of Cora’s with Emory and Birdie. I was also in the process of opening my own law firm. I wanted to now represent and fight for broken and battered women and children. If they can't have a voice for themselves, then I’ll become their voice, and so I did as such. Whenever someone came in asking for a pomegranate scone, that’s when I knew it was go time.

Bradley was now a Lieutenant with the Task force out of the Austin PD department. He had started to hear about these vigilantes taking down men before PD could even get to them. When he started to bring it up at home that’s when I knew they were going to be on our trail soon enough.

The following day while in The Underworld with Emory and Birdie, I had mentioned how Bradley had brought up the vigilantes. “Hey has Bob, or Jake brought anything up recently, Bradley’s been rambling on about the ‘Vigilantes’ in the area. Should I tell him? I mean it would be a good thing if he knows right? Y’know having a cop on our side in case things go left?” I say questioning Emory and Birdie.

“Well, I mean Bobby knows.” Birdie squeaks out just loud enough for the two of us to hear.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Emory all but comes unglued.

“Em, you KNOW I get a little looser-lipped after tequila and an orgasm or two.” Bridie says as Em, nods slightly tilting her head to the side.I scrub my face, at the obvious truth tumbling out of Birdie’s mouth.

“Jesus, yes I do. Thank fuck you’re already married and can claim spousal privilege though.” Em retorts back to Birdie.

“I think it’s about time I start drafting up NDAs and we have the guys sign them.” I say to the others.

“Oh Loki, you know Bobby won’t spill. I told him if he narced on us he’d be castrated on sight. So you know we are good there!” Birdie comments, and I chuckle at her ‘castrated on sight’ comment.

“I sure hope you’re right there Birdie, but unlike Bobby, Bradley ain’t all THAT scared of us. The man knows I love him and his dick too much to let anything of the sorts happen to it. Shit he knows I’d draft up an insurance policy for it!” The room filled with the laughter of the three of us, everyone knowing the truth in that statement.

—

Later that night, I’ve finally gotten the full NDA written up and printed out, and placed into a portfolio. It’s sitting on the coffee table, dinner is on the stove keeping warm, and I’m sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, watching tv until Bradley gets home. About 30 minutes later Bradley strolls in. “Attie, it smells so good in here!” I chuckle and get up to greet him, placing a tender kiss to his lips, as my arms snake around his neck. “I made your favorite dinner bubs.” He groans knowing that it’s my Grandma’s secret family recipe for Chicken and Dumplings.

We dug into dinner, Bradley apparently was too busy today to eat lunch, so he brought his appetite home. It was a really good thing I made his favorite, hopefully this will butter him up to not explode when I tell him the news that not only am I part of The Furies, I’m also actually one of the Fates.

“How was your day at work bubs?” I ask, trying to pry at what Bradley may know.

“Well we’ve heard more about this vigilante group, apparently they are called the Furies. But honestly I think whoever is in this must be some kind of maniac. The way we keep finding these men, but not the attackers. They are meticulous, doing very well from leaving any sort of DNA on scene. Definitely a thorough person or bunch.”

I chew on my lip listening to Bradley talk about work and the Furies while I clean up our dishes from dinner and he takes a spot on the couch, queueing up a movie for us to watch. He spots the portfolio laying on the coffee table. “Attie, is this something for work?” I finish the dishes and turn to see what he’s referring to.

“Oh uh, kind of but not really bubs.” I make my way over picking up the portfolio and setting it in my lap. “We uh, actually need to talk about this bubs.”

He lifts up his arm for me to snuggle into his side, and then wraps his strong arm around me, embracing me in his warmth. “Bubs, I think it’s time you sign these papers.”

He places a soft kiss on my temple before asking, “Are you finally going to marry me, and this is a prenup?” His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas for a moment.

I shake my head no to him, “Bubs, can you just sign them, and then we can talk about it?”

He looks at me bewildered, that I would even ask him to sign these papers blindly. “Attie, honey, I’m dating a Lawyer, I know the first thing to do is read this, ask questions and then sign it.”

“Bubs please. Just sign them. Plus you’re a cop. You know all about doing whatever you need to do to get the task done, to get what you want.” I quipped back to him.

He sighs, and skims the document, and then signs it. “Thank you bubs. I love you.” I take back the portfolio, before he can do anything else to it. “What you just signed was an NDA, because I have something really big to tell you bubs.” I can tell the nerves are written all over my face, I can feel my skin crawling.

“Attie Honey, no matter what you tell me, I’m still going to love you regardless.” He says trying to calm my nerves and rubs my arms softly.

I sigh, “Bubs, you promise you’ll still want to marry me eventually too?” I give him the puppy dog eyes that I know he can’t resist.

“Of course Honey, nothing would ever change that, you’re the woman of my dreams, my high school sweetheart, hopefully the mother to my children one day.” He places a tender kiss on my cheek.

“Bubs, the NDA is about me. I’m not only one of the Furies, I’m also a Fate. So is Emory, and Birdie. We could stand to see women and children being harmed, or battered, or neglected. And let’s be honest, we all know how long it takes PD to get anything done around there, you said it yourself last week, they were dragging their feet.” I rambled on, a little longer while Bradley just listened.

“Attie, who else knows?” was all that he questioned. “Bob, and now you do too. I plan to find out who else knows, or plans on telling their significant others and getting them the same NDA you just signed.”

He nods, “Attie, this doesn’t change a thing for us, the only thing I want more than anything now is that you marry me. That way should something happen to you, I get notified immediately, that I’m your next of kin, and you for me.” He says holding me tightly.

I nod, “Of course I’ll marry you Bradley, whenever you want. Buuut first…" I trail off, and he finished where I left off, “I have to sign the damn prenup.” We both chuckle before agreeing to head to bed for the night.

Taglist:

@startrekfangirl2233 @desert-fern @roostette @sarahsmi13s @lavenderbradshaw @lovinglyeternal @bradleybeachbabe @thedroneranger @cherrycola27 @twsssmlmaa @bobby-r2d2-floyd @that-one-random-writer @horseshoegirl @footprintsinthesxnd @genius2050 @djs8891

[angstymdzsthoughts]

Corporate Spy AU: Wei Wuxian marries Wen Qing after the scandal/divorce/prison, only so they have the legal right to stay together (plus Wen Ning, obviously). Nie Huaisang is an occasional visitor, but rarely talks about what they call WWX's "past life" after he notices it causes them distress. And then one day he arrives and says "I brought a visitor", and there's A-Yuan, right there, fury and determination written all over his face, no longer a child but not quite a teenager yet.

So A-Yuan looks up at WWX, WQ, and WN, and he says "I believed you. I believed you but it didn't matter, because they wanted me to testify in court but wouldn't listen to any thoughts of my own. I'm tired of this life, I just want to go to school like a normal kid, draw in the evenings with my Baba, find who my birth family was because no one else will tell me." And he starts to cry because, "How do I do it? How do I make things right for you and save myself? How?"

And WWX takes a deep breath, and looks at the child that he hasn't seen in years, and gives him a big hug, and whispers, "I don't know. Maybe I've never known. But your Xian-gege is here now, it'll be okay." And slowly, it starts to be. A-Yuan (and Jingyi and Jin Ling and Zizhen) made friends with A-Qing, WWX's niece (through Xiao Xingchen), so they use that as a cover story to visit. No one at WWX's "old life" knows, until the scandal breaks wide open, and A-Yuan, now 18, is missing in the aftermath.

That's not the only thing though, everything WWX ever worked on for the company is missing. And he did a lot, little errands and fixing problems and generally making everything easier, and that plus the scandal means that Gusu Lan just lost so much work. Then they discover a neat stack of files in WWX's old office, legal notices that means they can't actually do anything to get the work back, because it wasn't theirs.

At first they think WWX did it, but NHS just waves his fan, smiles with the edge of a blade because his revenge isn't complete, not yet, and says, "Oh it wasn't him, he's been with his wife the past few months. He hasn't been back in Gusu for decades." And no one knows what to do with that.

A year later, a nonprofit organization opens in Yiling, providing millions of dollars worth of help to anyone. It's led by Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, with Wen Qing as their resident doctor/medical expert, Wen Ning as their lawyer (he wrote the legal notices), and Wei Wuxian doing what he loves, leading the teams that provide services. And then there's A-Yuan, who's not sure what he's going to do now that he isn't part of Gusu Lan anymore, but who helps take care of the people who come for help.

When Lan Wangji tries to contact Wei Wuxian, he discovers that after he was released from prison, WWX filed a restraining order (not quite that, but similar) against almost everyone from his "past life". No one can reach him anymore, and he's happy that way.

Bonus plot twist if Wen Rouhan is that Asshole Uncle who's undeniably an asshole but also surprisingly useful, and he helped A-Yuan take back all of WWX's work. The Wen family (minus Wen Chao who is just,,,, no) also help fund the nonprofit :D

.

[jamespotterthefirst]

Heartbreak

Open Heart, Book 1, Chapter 10 (Part 2)

Retold through social media posts and messages

All posts here

Posted Saturday 

10:53 PM

23 minutes before 

______________________________

Received Saturday

10:56 PM

20 minutes before

______________________________ 

Posted Saturday

10:57 PM

19 minutes before

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

10:59 PM

17 minutes before

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:15 PM

1 minute before

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:18 PM

2 minutes after

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Lilac Allende

Transcript of voicemail:

Hey you! Sorry I called you late! I was baking my world famous German chocolate brownies and lost track of time. You know how I get. You weren't answering so I'm guessing you fell asleep. I'll talk to you later, okay? I can't wait to hear all about this trip! 

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:31 PM

15 minutes after

Hi Carrie, 

Are you ready to murder me yet? Given my lack of response in the last few days and the frequency of your emails, I would imagine you are. 

I'm alive. 

And in Miami, seeking inspiration in the turquoise sea and in the overpriced bottles of red wine this hotel insists on passing off as top shelf. Probably not something I should be admitting to my agent but here we are. 

The manuscript is going well. Actually, I should say the manuscript was going well… Until I decided to scrap it and steer it in a completely different direction. Before you stop reading here to pass out or call me twenty five times, please hear me out. 

Untitled_Mystery_Doc will still be a mystery at its core, except now the two leads will surrender to a forbidden romance. Detective Prescott must fall fiercely and hopelessly in love with Selene Obispo. It was something the writing was demanding of me all along, but I lacked the inspiration to bring their tension to fruition. That changed thanks to the Celestial's lavish oceanside balcony view. 

Earlier tonight, I was leaning over the railing of my balcony, glass of that aforementioned wine in my hand, watching the last remains of a reception of some sort in the distance. A delighted, lilting laugh from a nearby balcony broke my concentration. It was from a young woman who looked to be no older than you are. Even from a distance, I could tell she was a vivacious creature, radiating the type of effortless beauty that would have even the strongest of beings hanging by her every word. In an inky blue dress, she looked so captivating, it was no wonder the man at her side could hardly keep his eyes away from her. 

This man, Carrie. 

He was, without a doubt, the handsomest specimen I have ever seen. A true Romantic hero come to life from the pages of every classic novel in the catalog. Tall with piercing eyes and a jaw so sharp, it could slice through even the strongest of convictions. He possessed the type of good looks that were striking, like the powerful fissure of lighting. 

The pair seemed to alternate between conversation and companionable silence as they enjoyed a drink. Every so often, when he was certain she wasn't looking, he would glance at her almost desperately, as though rushing to take in as much of her before the precious seconds ran out. He was not aware that in those moments when he contemplated the vast ocean before them, she would do the same. 

After another lull in their conversation, the young woman looked at her phone, a pensive crease on her brow as she searched for something. Seconds later, the notes of a song began to drift from the speaker of her device. The man scoffed, inspiring more cheerful laughter from her. Despite his annoyed front, his expression softened as he watched her. 

More silence and then they started what sounded like a solemn conversation. As they spoke, he looked conflicted, his fingers gripping his glass as though reason and restrain were slowly ebbing away. 

Fragments of what they were saying reached me.

“…higher I aspire, the more I stand to lose.”

“I...certainly understand that.”

He stood then, with the conviction of someone seeking to run away from the ineluctable. 

When he stopped at the railing of their balcony, however, he turned to her, shoulders deflating as though realizing he didn't want to run anymore. Finding her there at his side was confirmation that she was an inevitability, a constant in his existence like his binary star. 

It was confirmation that she was done running too. 

He was saying something then, the words coming out in a desperate rush. She didn't seem to mind though, patiently listening and offering reassurance. 

“... Your risk paid off.”

Those words seemed to be the denouement of their time together because his gaze took her in with undeniable clarity. 

“It did...and I’m beginning to realize…” 

The way he looked at her then, with over-spilling yearning, would have inspired poets throughout the ages. Even if I had a hundred years to write, I could never capture the utterly lovelorn way in which he regarded her.  

“There are some things that are worth any risk.”

And then he kissed her. Their bodies gravitated closer to one another, reveling in the novelty of having her in his arms at long last. And even though this kiss erupted with the euphoric urgency of the first time, there was familiarity in the way he caressed her, in the way she stroked his jaw. As though they had spent long, agonizing moments before this memorizing one another. 

All of this was painted clearly before me in the seconds before I stepped away. 

I could not justify stealing any more of this moment from them. Particularly when the desperation in their movements acknowledged the race against the clock. They both knew that this stolen moment would eventually conclude. 

I am inspired, Carrie. 

Even from afar, I could tell these two yearned for each other. Their kiss was the inevitable culmination of forbidden longing, beautiful yet heartbreaking all at once. 

It's exactly what was missing from my manuscript. 

Let me know your thoughts. 

How's Gigi? Did you like the groomer I recommend? 

Sincerely, 

Andrea  

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:32 PM

16 minutes after

To Whom It May Concern;

My name is Lisa Burkett in room 4087. This evening, my husband and I witnessed a couple in a nearby room making out. They were extremely loud and explicit. The woman even climbed on top of the man at some point. 

This is appalling since we're here with our children. Luckily they didn't see this happening. 

Please put me in contact with a manager. This is unacceptable for a resort that advertises being family friendly. 

Attached you will a picture of the incident. That's how exposed and close to us they were. 

Sincerely,

Lisa Burkett

Attachment: 

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:39 PM

23 minutes after

______________________________ 

Sent Saturday

11:41 PM

25 minutes after

______________________________ 

Searched for on Saturday

Googled by Ethan Ramsey

11:56 PM

40 minutes after

______________________________ 

Searched for on Sunday

Googled by Lilac Allende

12:03 AM

47 minutes after

______________________________ 

Searched for on Sunday

Googled by Lilac Allende

12:06 AM

50 minutes after

______________________________ 

Listened to on Sunday

Audible library accessed by Ethan Ramsey

12:46 AM

______________________________ 

Searched on Sunday

Googled by Ethan Ramsey

1:03 AM

From “Student Doctor Network” accessed at 1:11 am

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

Sibling group chat titled “Y’all look familiar”

Members: Laurel Allende, Lilac Allende, Jaime Allende

1:36 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

from: Naveen Banerji

to: Ethan Ramsey

1:59 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

2:17 AM

______________________________ 

2:46 AM 

The Celestial Incident Report 

Camera footage transcript 

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint 

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, exits his suite, careful to shut the door as noiselessly as possible. 

This man has seen better days. 

His hair is disheveled and stubble mars the jawline that wreaked havoc among The Celestial's guests and staff alike. The doctor looks downright exhausted, as though he hasn't slept a wink all night. Full disclosure, I'm a measly hotel employee, writing an incident report no one will ever read so I don't know how to put this delicately. But here goes nothing: the man looks as though his lack of sleep is not from the reckless fun Mrs. Burkett complained about but rather the lack of it. 

Dr. Ramsey hesitates mid-stride, looking at the door as though it poses a mystifying dilemma. Jaw working, he seems to decide something, jolting forward to take hold of the doorknob.

Reason seems to catch up to him because he exhales noticeably and releases the doorknob as though it scorched his skin. Looking angry but determined, he strides down the hall toward the elevator. 

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

3:18 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

3:54 AM

_____________________________

Accessed via Ethan Ramsey’s camera roll

4:13 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

7:20 AM

______________________________ 

Failed Login on Sunday

Nurses’ Station desktop | Third Floor 

7:53 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

from: Bryce Lahela

to: Brittany Ryan

8:01 AM

______________________________ 

Searched on Sunday

Googled by Sienna Trinh

 8:01 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Wayne Bradley Torning

8:19 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

8:35 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

8:51 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

9:02 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

9:15 AM

______________________________ 

9:32 AM 

The Celestial Incident Report

Camera footage transcript

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, dressed in pool attire, grapples with the key card to his room, the technology somehow perplexing to a man who went to med school. The struggle is short lived because the door swings open from the inside, revealing the second guest on file, Dr. Lilac Allende. 

Again, no one reads these anyway so I can confidently say that if I wasn't a goddamn professional, I would've promptly slid into her DMs. She would've rejected me, of course, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, am I right? 

Dr. Ramsey freezes as his eyes land on her, the muscles of his back tensing. Dr. Allende instinctively does the same, eyes going wide, much like a defenseless bunny facing the snarling snout of a wolf. They stay motionless in stunned silence for so long, I had to check the footage to make sure it hadn't frozen. 

After what seems like an eternity, Dr. Ramsey clears his throat and averts his eyes, as though interested in the carpet's God awful pattern. This reaction is definitely the wrong one because Dr. Allende pulls herself to her full height, eyes alight with fire. 

Goddamn. My bunny analogy was way off because this girl looks anything but defenseless when she is this pissed. 

“I came back to change,” he explains, probably feeling her glare burning into his face. 

“We need ice,” she says at the same time, lifting the empty ice bucket she holds.

They definitely don't need any. The ice in her voice and demeanor is enough to stock the poolside bar during spring break. 

Dr. Ramsey looks at her then and when their eyes meet, an unspoken conversation passes between them. Slowly, her resolute anger begins to melt. Unmistakable hurt flits through her features and this time, she's the one to look away. 

What the hell happened with these two? 

Before Dr. Ramsey says anything, she moves around him and strides down the hall with unstoppable determination. He moves to follow her, but with considerable effort he forces himself to stop, watching her disappear instead. 

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

10:22 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

10:51 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

10:59 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

11:36 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

11:41 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

11:58 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

12:04 PM

______________________________ 

Edenbrook Hospital on Yelp

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

1:23 PM

Full transcript of review:

This review is regarding the "care" I received from one Dr. Lilac Allende. Is it normal to almost die at the hands of your doctor? I didn't think so either. Yet here we are. I went in because I had a horrible chest pain that got worse with each day. They assigned Dr. Allende, an intern, to me which was already kind of subpar but it's reduced cost medical care right? I should have trusted my gut because she diagnosed pneumonia and prescribed macrolide antibiotics azithromycin…. which I am allergic to!!! Don't they have charts for this reason? 

Or maybe she can't read English given the language barrier. Do they need to start printing patient charts in whatever foreign language she speaks to avoid death? 

I don't need to give you the gory details of what happened next, right ? 

Anaphylactic Shock. Code blue. Defibrillator. I found out I wasn't the first patient this happened to under her care. There was an almost identical incident on her first day. When I tried to complain to management, they brushed it aside. Word around the hospital is that her boss favorites her. Figures. 

______________________________

Received on Sunday

1:49 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

1:56 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

1:57 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

1:58 PM

______________________________ 

Drafted on Sunday

status: NOT SENT

1:59 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

3:23 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

4:03 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

4:13 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

5:26 PM

from Sienna Trinh

to Wayne Bradley Torning

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

5:41 PM

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Danny Cardinal 

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

6:32 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

6:36 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

6:45 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

6:52 PM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

7:10 PM

______________________________ 

7:26 PM

The Celestial Incident Report 

Camera footage transcript 

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint 

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey looks like a tortured man as he paces in front of their door. He runs restless hands through his hair, completely unaware of the effect this has on the majority of the staff reviewing this footage. He pauses in front of the door, pinching the bridge of his nose and raising his gaze upward, as though sending a silent prayer to anyone listening. 

Jesus, Buddha, Beyoncé—whoever is up there, help this poor man out. 

The door opens, causing him to flinch slightly. In the threshold stands Dr. Allende, wearing one of the hotel's fluffy, white robes. Though she is fully covered, save for her legs, Dr. Ramsey still blushes, as though aware of what lies beneath the fabric. 

Dr. Allende, meanwhile, crosses her arms, leaning against the doorway as she studies him. This time, when their eyes scan one another, it's not with the frustration or resentment from the morning. 

“Come inside.”

Her voice is quiet. 

Dr. Ramsey's jaw clenches. 

“Lilac—” 

“We can't.” Acceptance ripples through her voice. “I know.”

Dr. Ramsey looks at her with an acute mixture of misery and longing. 

“We can't ignore each other forever though.”

“I know. That's not what I want either.”

She nods once in response. 

More silence.

“You're not angry anymore?” 

The question is unexpected because her gaze snaps up to his. 

“I wasn't angry at you, Ethan,” she says after a pensive pause. “I was angry at myself for refusing to let go of what happened. I just want to put it behind me without a backward glance, like you did.”

Those last three words get a reaction out of him. His jaw clenches and strains with effort, his shoulders looking equally as tense. He looks away from her, perhaps afraid that if he continues to look into her beautiful, earnest face, he will contradict her. 

The way he had been pacing in front of her door only minutes prior, the way he looked at her this morning, the way his hand gripped the door knob the night before—all of it suggested her assessment as wrong. He was just as trapped in the previous night as she was. 

“Lilac, I'm sorry about last night.”

She looks stunned for a brief second. When she recovers, she shakes her head in a tiny movement.

 “I'm not.”

He takes in a long breath, allowing hope to filter through his expression. 

“Now, come on. We have an early flight and my boss is making me go into work right after we land.”

“Sounds like an asshole.”

“The worst,” she agrees with a hum. 

His quiet chuckle and the way he shakes his head is the last thing the camera captures before he follows her inside. 

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A/N: I really hope you liked this because I poured my whole heart and two brain cells into it! Did you find my little Easter egg?

A few things:

I was going to include the song playing on MC’s phone in the balcony but decided that everyone has a different one. And I love that. Mine is Nirvana by Sam Smith. What’s yours?

That Yelp ordeal happened in real life at my old job. It was the shadiest shit I have ever seen. Even the meanest bitch at work was so shocked that someone would be this much of a snake. Someone printed the “review” about a coworker and posted it everywhere for everyone to see like Regina George. It was awful.

 People also wrote computer passwords everywhere and just left them lying around. These computers had highly confidential info but people didn’t give a single fuck.

 I picture Ethan picking up the Hamilton book because MC is obsessed with the musical. Plus, he’s a history nerd. But listening to it reminds him of her when he’s trying his damndest to forget about her. LOL good luck bro 

I really debated having MC text him a risky picture after the kiss. But then I figured a) this is self-indulgent and b) once he kissed her, all reason and all restraints went out the window.

 Thank you to everyone for being so patient while waiting for this! Thank you to @aestheticartsx for finding some of these amazing pics. She is the best! 

 I love you all.

-Bree 

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tags: @openheart12 , @takeharryandgo , @trappedinfanfiction, @aestheticartsx, @aworldoffandoms, @paulfwesley, @myusualnerdyself,  @rookie-ramsey, @ohchoices, @colossalpainintheass, @enmchoices, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker, @choicesfanaf, @openheartthot, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe, @utterlyinevitable, @kites-in-our-skies, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, @choicesstan1​, @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​, @nikki-2406​, @lilypills​, @chasingrobbie​, @nooruleman​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​, @ruinedbypixels​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​, @tsrookie​, @mvalentine​, @professorkingslay​, @drakewalkerfantasy​, @casey-v​, @helloblueeyedcat​, @mysticaurathings​, @blossomanarchy​, @thegreentwin​, @togetherwearerapture​, @rookieoh​, @ramseysno1rookie, @rookiemarsswiftie​, @natashajaniphilchoices​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​, @hatescapsicum​, @choices-lurker​, @kiara-36​, @junehiratas​, @danijimenezv​, @macy-ray85​, @adrex04​, @canigetanawwjunk​, @sanchita012​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​ , @scorpiochick8​, @skylarklyon​, @starrystarrytrouble​, @mercury84choices​, @drariellevalentine​, @ethanrcmsey​, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost​, @kaavyaethanramsey​ , @udishaman​, @a-crepusculo​, @quacksonlover​,

@varikasnuori​, @dimitriwife​, @genevievemd​, @shanzay44​, @fabi-en-ciel​, @trebondialanna​, @emotionalswift2, @lady-calypso​, 

(If I forgot anyone, please DM me!)

[creativia10]

I would Duel for you

Virgil has fantasies about how the final battle with his brother could have gone differently to satisfy his thirst for revenge, and wish to physically make up for what his brother put Roman through. At least one of these can become a reality.

Pairing: Virgil x Roman

Wordcount: 2528

Warnings: Suggestive Themes, implies past abusive relationship, mentions past unsympathetic Deceit

Notes: This is a coda/fanfic of @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors 's Love ad Other Fairytales series. This is set some time after the main story, during the first year after. I am also posting this on my ao3, where I will have a longer AN and tags. Also note, I put this as M on my ao3. This is my first time writing a fic like this. I hope I am tagging this right.

Virgil wouldn’t change how they saved everyone from his brother. He was proud that Roman was able to be the hero he had always wanted to. So proud of his brave knight to have been able to get the ring from his brother, knowing how difficult that must have been. However, the more romantic, possessive, and fae parts of him would imagine things going differently. More specifically, the primal urge that came to the front when he thought about what his brother did with Roman. It was bad enough knowing his brother was had been with Roman first, but Roman had found Virgil first. Stupid curse.

So, ever since Roman first told them about his deal with the Serpent King, many images came to his mind on how he wanted to fix it.

Going back and forth between, murder the snake, he is mine, how dare that snake take another of mine, how dare he hurt someone as amazing and lovely as him.

In a way, he did get what he wanted. The Serpent King was killed. Greta was most justified to do the job than any of them. Yet, there were times he wished he could have dealt with the situation more personally. Maybe some sort of snarling speech, that was a bit of an embarrassing wish though. He did not like talking in front of crowds, which sucked when you ruled the entire magical forest.

It would go something like this,

His brother had just manhandled Roman onto his spot on the armrest of the throne. His hand going to that possessive grip on the back of Roman’s neck.

A guttural growl came from Virgil.

“ Get. Your. F***ing hands. Off of Him!”

His brother would just give him a smug look.

“I don’t think you’re in a place to be making demands right now. You can’t even get to him.”

Virgil didn’t always picture the details of how he made it over there, just that he did.

Then, Virgil and his brother were squaring up on the battlefield, Roman kept behind the snake.

A grand magical duel would take place,

or sometimes a bloody vicious battle, depending on how homicidal of a mood Virgil was in when he pictured it. The point was, he usually fought his brother directly, for Roman. Sometimes he demanded Roman be released to him first. Sometimes, Virgil immediately went for the kill, unforgiving of his brother for what he did to his love.

Virgil would go over to Roman immediately after. Usually he would just hold him tightly and warmly. Roman would say something. It wasn’t always the same. Usually of gratitude. Most of the time, Virgil spoke first, as Roman was speechless, having trouble comprehending that he truly was free. Virgil always would, and he still did, have the urge to do whatever he could to just make it better. There was usually a kiss. One with a lot of gentle caressing. The kiss was usually passionate. Sometimes interspersed with sweet continuous expressions of, “I love you’s”. Sometimes Virgil muttered more heated and possessive things, that were still warm. Sometimes they were on the seductive side, of asking how he could physically erase his brother’s horrid touch, wanting to bring Roman so much pleasure he couldn’t think about whatever the stupid snake had done first. Because Virgil loved him, and intimacy would always be better when there was real love.

Sometimes, in a moment of passion, Virgil would dive in for a passionate kiss first, but usually something would be said, and some loving touching would take place before the kissing. Sometimes he would keep going where the kissing escalated to them getting frisky against a tree, but usually Virgil would try to keep his mind from going that far.

The main thing, was Virgil would mutter promises that Roman would never have to deal with his brother’s cruel hand again. Virgil was pretty sure Roman knew that though.

“Virgil?” Virgil blinked from his reverie as he turned to the speaker.

He always wished he could do more. He knew that recovering from stuff was something he couldn’t just fight away. But gosh did he wish he could. He wanted to make up for every moment that bastard took from them.

Part of him felt guilty about some of his daydreams, as he knew Roman was not ready for the more physical parts of a relationship. Virgil would never want him to feel pressure or rushed though, not after what his brother did to his beloved.

“Virgil are you ok?”

Virgil smiled a little at Patton, uncertain how he could respond, because he didn’t know.

“I was just thinking,” He said. Patton frowned at the non-answer, but nodded hesitantly.

“Okaay…well good luck on your checkup!”

“Pat…” Logan said with an exasperated look. “That makes it sound like he’s going to a doctor.”

“Well, I mean he is checking up on his mom though! So I technically wasn’t wrong.”

Logan rolled his eyes and held Patton’s hand.

“See you later.”

Since Roman had insisted on joining Virgil as he checked on the status of the forest, Patton and Logan had decided to make a date out of it. They all waved bye, and Virgil turned to face the forest. He couldn’t seem to help thinking of his imagines upon realizing this would be his first time alone with Roman since the defeat of the Serpent King, and since the four’s relationship came to be.

Roman stood up beside him, with a smile.

“Ready?” He was dressed in what Virgil believed used to be his ‘hunting’ getup, an iron blade in its sheath. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Yes. Remember to stick close to me.”

Roman huffed, but surprisingly didn’t protest as they started off. Virgil was finding himself…distracted. In many ways though. They were here to check on the forest, but Virgil’s focus kept going to Roman. His wonderful knight. Actually there with him, while they were both awake. How wonderful he was. Then frustration that by thinking about that, he was distracted from being in the moment with Roman, along with other ‘new relationship’ anxieties. Also, as his thoughts often led back to, just how much he had lost with Roman because of his stupid brother. Being alone with Roman brought some of these urges to his forefront even more.

He could see them on the battlefield. Somehow, the serpent was frozen in place, he hadn’t put thought into how, daydreams didn’t always make sense. He was kissing Roman passionately and possessively, to show that fiend did not have him anymore, that-

“V?”

Virgil blinked, and turned to Roman, who was giving him a concerned look.

“Are you alright? You seemed a bit spacey there.”

Virgil looked away again, thinking of what he could say.

“…I have stated that my communing with my mother does not look the same to onlookers.”

“…okay, I know avoiding an answer when I hear one, V.”

He slipped his hand into Virgil’s and interlaced their fingers. His hand was so warm. It felt so nice. Another thing he absolutely adored about his love. He just wanted to caress it, and maybe pull him into a passionate embrace where he could-

Virgil took in a sharp inhale, trying not to squeeze Roman’s hand too hard. The last thing he wanted was to hurt or scare him. Roman was still looking at him, brows furrowed.

“Hey. What is it?” He stopped.

“We probably shouldn’t just stop here in the middle of the forest.”

Roman half smiled and walked closer to him, holding Virgil’s other hand as well.

“I am here, with the prince of the forest. I am sure we’re okay.”

Damn right, he thought in response to that.

Virgil smiled at him, sure the awe was clear on his face. Virgil brought their hands up so he could gently cup Roman’s face, and pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. He let out a relieved sigh at feeling his love’s touch.

“It might seem silly,” he finally admitted.

Roman laughed a little at that, then Virgil felt him nuzzle their noses together.

“I am sure I won’t mind, my spidery princeling. Especially when you are acting so vulnerable about it.” He leaned forward quickly to peck Virgil then back. Virgil almost followed his lips then stopped himself. He wanted to at least let Roman know what had been playing through his mind before he found himself go any further. He was still hesitant though.

“…also might reference a topic you may not want to talk about.” He heard a sharp inhale from Roman, so he started to pull away and opened his eyes. Roman squeezed Virgil’s hands before he could let go.

“How about you start…and I’ll let you know if I can’t right now, okay?”

Virgil hesitated but nodded.

“Okay, so” He took a breath. “Since…the Serpent King’s defeat-“

Virgil didn’t miss Roman’s wince at the mention, but he didn’t protest,

“Or, well really since you first mentioned the deal he wrapped you up in, I have been…sort of fantasizing about ways I could fix it.” Roman gave him a confused look. Virgil sighed.

“I find myself…picturing I got to deal with him personally…and then doing my best to erase whatever way he might have touched you…by compensating with my own touch,” Virgil looked back up at him, not wanting to scare him, but unable to help the intensity of his stare. Even mentioning the fantasies out loud, had Virgil having to restrain a growl. Roman inhaled, but he didn’t seem scared.

“O-oh?” Roman asked. Virgil nodded.

“I am sure you have caught on to how fae can be possessive. And I would never force you into anything of course, unlike my brother. Him being the one to do what he did to you, made it more personal for me.” With as much restraint as he could, Virgil shakily put a hand up to cup Roman’s face again.

“I had been waiting for you,” He sounded a little watery as he spoke, but he kept going, “You are the main one who kept me from being lonely during my slumber. If I could do anything I could to erase any pain you may have gone through…know that I would.”

Roman took a shaky breath, his eyes starting to look a little shiny.

“Okay.” Roman simply said. He brought their hands to his lips and gently kissed them.

He looked back up at Virgil and smiled a little shakily.

“I gotta say…I love hearing how much you want to be with me, my love.” He dropped their hands and looked back at him.

“Can I ask…how would you make it up to me? What are you wanting to do?”

Virgil’s eyes widened at that, unable to restrain his growl that time.

“Are you wanting me to show you?”

Roman smiled a little, blushing, and then nodded.

“You know how I love to be pampered,” He said.

Virgil smirked, and then slowly started to back Roman until he was against a tree.

“Remember, tell me at any time if there is anything you don’t want, okay?”

Roman nodded, biting his lip a little. Virgil’s eyes zeroed in on that. He moved his hands to grip Roman’s waist, and leaned in.

“Where?” He asked, figuring Roman knew what he was asking, but hoping it wouldn’t be too much.

Roman thought for a moment, then lifted a wrist up to Virgil. Virgil grasped his hand, and leaned his hips forward so Roman was still pinned to the tree, getting a gasp out of Roman, and looked over the wrist. Then he leaned forward and kissed the wrist, looking at Roman as he did so.

He flicked his tongue against it, mouthed at the spot, and gently grazed his teeth against it. Another breathy sound from Roman. Virgil smiled at him, glad to see the lack of fear from Roman’s face, exactly what he was going for. He asked him again with his eyes. Roman slowly nodded and then tilted his head. Immediately, Virgil sprung forward and attached his lips to that spot on the junction of Roman’s neck. It was a good spot. Virgil got a lovely moan from that one. His hands, back on Roman’s hips, was brushing his thumb back and forth, alternating with how he would squeeze them. Then both pressed against each other, trying to feel as much of the other as they could.

Roman ran his hands up and down Virgil’s sides, and twirled them in his hair some.

Virgil enthusiastically kissed up Roman’s neck, until their lips were a mere breath apart, and he didn’t know who pushed forward first, but then they were kissing. It got passionate immediately, alternating from loving touches to erotic ones. He wanted to feel him as much as he possibly could.

He put a lot of force into his kiss, but made sure to keep the pace of the kiss with how Roman was pushing forward, not wanting to get too rough. Lips gripped. Virgil bit Roman’s lips getting a particularly loud moan out of him, which made Virgil shiver. He absolutely loved being able to get Roman like this. This was how it was supposed to be for him. He was the one to get him to feel like this. Virgil licked over Roman’s lips and then flicked his tongue into Roman’s mouth, as they toyed with each other. It was wonderful, and Virgil felt some tension he had been feeling get released.

Virgil thinks he may have been muttering I love yous in between.

He pulled away barely, just to kiss all around Roman’s face, who was breathing very heavily, already slumping against the tree.

Virgil pulled away to look at him, his blood thrumming.

“I cannot wait for the day we can physically become one,” He said, as he pushed a lock of hair behind Roman’s head. Roman was still panting but he smiled up at him.

“Me too.”

Virgil helped him up and strung his arm around the back of his shoulders to keep him upright.

“Perhaps we should continue the forest checking when I am a bit more focused.” Virgil said.

Roman snorted at that, and leaned his head against Virgil’s.

“Yeah, probably would be best. Cuddles?”

“Of course my love,” and he kissed the top of Roman’s head before they headed back, Roman a little shaky on his feet.

“Should I carry you back?”

Roman blushed and didn’t say anything.

“Is that a yes?”

Roman sighed, “I am just thinking about whatever comments Mamaw may give.”

Virgil shrugged, and quickly lifted him into a bridal carry, causing Roman to yelp and blush more.

“I can always put you down before we get to the house?”

Roman didn’t respond. Virgil smiled and started walking back.

“…do you seriously intend to carry me like this the entire time?”

“It’s not taxing for me. Let me feel like I rescue the dame in distress for once.”

“What do you mean for once? Virgiil~.”

Virgil laughed as they made their way back. Maybe some good did come out of his daydreams after all.

[zayray030]

Don't Mess With Shiratorizawa's setter

Summary: Semi didn't appreciate having his boyfriend ogled by a bunch of boys. It was time to set things straight.

Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou

If those absolute assholes did not shut the fuck up in the next five seconds someone was going to get whacked by his chemistry textbook and then stabbed with a whisk.

And that was the least descriptive killing method that the Shiratorizawa team had for killing the asshole, homophobes that sat on the table in front of them, shit-talking Shirabu, whilst said boy had gone to get a book

“Satori, I need your help to help restrain myself from injuring these boys. I would much rather not inform my father that I have regressed to methods such as punching to let out my anger,” said Ushijima, the usually stoic teen having a demeanour of complete rage surrounding him.

“You're funny, big guy if you actually think I'm going to stop you from killing those brats.” came Tendou’s tight response.

“Semi-San? Are you okay?” asked Goshiki. The poor boy was probably the only thing stopping the team from committing first-degree murder but they could tell it was all being reluctant.

“If one more thing about my boyfriend comes out of those prejudistic assholes and it has to do with the size of his ass, or his clothes, or anything to do with sex then I will personally admit to being guilty at the trial.” Semi threatened darkly and Goshiki resisted the urge to shudder. His Senpai was scary when it came to their setter.

“As his best friend I allow this,” muttered Kawanishi, equally as dark. He did not appreciate hearing that shit come from those boys. Shirabu might be a brat but he was his best friend dammit and nobody was allowed to say anything about him.

Okay, so like let's fast forward a couple of hours ago before the Shiratorizawa boys volleyball team had begun to discuss torture methods on how to kill the idiots talking about their bratty yet adorable setter.

~A few hours ago~

Semi was going to go into cardiac arrest. He was sure of it. That was the only excuse for why his heart had begun racing to the point he was sure he would have to go to his doctor as quickly as possible.

Or maybe it was because seeing his boyfriend (yes! Boyfriend! God, he was never going to get tired of saying it) of three months in an adorably oversized, pink pastel sweatshirt and shorts so short you couldn't see them below the sweatshirt. Along with this ridiculously adorable look, his salty boyfriend had a pair of golden round glasses on and his cheeks were flushed.

Semi Eita would gladly die right here and now and be quite happy with his life. After all, this image of his boyfriend was enough to check everything off his bucket list.

The rest of the team seemed to have the same thought, all of them just staring at his boyfriend as if he was an angel and if they weren't used to his normal saltiness they would have all assumed him to be an angel. Even Ushijima seemed to find his boyfriend angelic cause the normally stoic teen seemed to have his jaw unclenched. And in Ushijima language that practically meant his jaw was dropping.

All except Kawanishi seemed to have trouble thinking as they stared at Shirabu. Kawanishi, the little fucker, had had the nerve to just simply waltz up to the work of art and hug the smaller boy. The boy replied with the same energy as a tame cat turned savage and he aimed consistent kicks at his best friend's ankles.

“Put me down you savage.” the boy hissed and Kawanishi snorted before finally releasing the boy.

“I'm going to ignore the hypocrisy just this once.” said the taller boy.

When Shirabu merely touched he turned around and threw a smug look at Semi, the expression rare on his normally deadpan face. The look screamed, ‘Ha, I get privileges as his best friend that you don't get and you're his boyfriend, bitch.’

Okay, so Semi might be over-exaggerating but it was clear that the second year had it for him, especially after he had started dating Shirabu.

It wasn't that Kawanishi wasn't supportive of his best friend. In fact, he had been ecstatic when the two setters had announced their relationship cause it meant that Shirabu wouldn't be talking about the older boy constantly and asking whether he liked him or if he would be kicked out of the team for being gay and if the team would tell anyone and if it would be like with his dad.

He was glad that his best friend was no longer second-guessing himself but he had seen Kenjirou at his most vulnerable and he wasn't sure he wanted anyone else to see him like that. If Semi wanted to earn the right for him not to be a prettier brat than even Shirabu then he would have to earn the gingers trust.

(Who knew that that time would come in like, the next two hours.)

“Eita,” Kenjirou said, usually monotone voice happy as he walked over to his boyfriend. He'd gained more confidence over the course of their relationship and had started initiating things first now.

Semi had to suck in a deep breath when the small boyfriend wrapped his arms around him. ‘The sweater is as soft as it looks.’

“Baby,” he answered back, with his usual smirk and internally cheated when the boy blushed and puffed out his cheeks. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Tendou clutch his chest and he couldn't blame him, Shirabu was adorable.

“Loser,” he mumbled, face still burning and stud on his toes to peck his cheek. The boy quickly turned around, cheeks flushing and walked away, making a show of making everyone follow him. Semi followed, with a giddy grin on his face. He so wasn't going to get used to that.

Everyone, although still slightly shook at seeing their feral setter in such adorable attire, followed the shortest player.

“So, Kenjirou~” began Tendou, leaning into his Semi’s boyfriend. Out of a fit of jealousy and not really thinking about it, he pulled the younger onto his lap and shot Tendou a glare. His boyfriend however seemed more reactant to the surprising touch, if the immediate blush didn't say anything.

The redhead on the other hand simply smirked at the reaction before turning to the boy with uneven bangs.

“I didn't know you couldn't look so cute!” he teased. Wrong thing to say, which was made clear when Taichi immediately tensed and winced.

“Problem?” Shirabu answered testily and Tendou knew he accidentally stepped on a nerve far too raw to be touched.

“Well, I wasn't going to say it's bad. Just different. Which suits you.” he says, trying to salvage the situation and make the air less tense and awkward.

That wasn't enough for one Shirabu Kenjirou however, and he continued to scowl, turning back to his text.

“What Satori is trying to say,” and Ushijima, ever the peace-loving farm boy he was, decided to help Tendou with indirectly apologising to their underclassmen. “Is that you do indeed look different. But you also look cute and content. And I feel like that should be enough.” his normally blunt voice softened a degree as if to not scare the boy that idolised him so much.

Kenjirou just blushed and everyone present wished that they had the ability to sneakily take pictures on their phones.

Semi simply cuddled Shirabu’s back and continued to work on his assignment, adamant on both ignoring his boyfriends best friends glare and cuddling with his boyfriend. It was peaceful and quiet, and everyone in the Shiratorizawa volleyball team felt themselves relaxing a significant bit.

However, that all changed when Shirabu got up to grab a book from the shelves to help him on one of the essays that he was stuck on and too stubborn to ask help for.

“You know you can always ask, right?” asked Reon, apparently one of the fastest to recover but nor completely. He at least had the human decency to not stare at Shirabu as if he was an object.

“Hmph,” replied Shirabu, already moving away. Everyone around the table chuckled at the sheer stubbornness before returning back to their studies.

Or at least that's what they would have wanted. Instead, they began being subjected to a bunch of immature boys talking about Shirabu.

“That ass looks tight.” one of the guys jeered, annoying voice lowered down enough so the librarian couldn't hear.

“I know right? Always knew that little brat was a slut.” another continued.

“Think we could corner him later and see if he is as tight as he looks?”

“I doubt he is. But, why the fuck not. Would love to see him put in his place.”

A small snapping sound came from the table where the volleyball team were at and Eita realised it was because he had snapped the pencil in his hand. And it had been his favourite one as well.

And that's how we got put in this situation.

“Bet you his volleyball teams already had a go at that ass. There's no other way he could have possibly made it on to this team without having to bend over for them.”

Semi stood up after hearing that. No way were they going to insinuate that his boyfriend, the guy who worked his ass off day and night to stay on as first string and to also keep up his grades, was only on the team because they were fucking him. No fucking way.

Nobody tried to stop him as he walked over to those boys. Taichi even looked excited at the thought of Semi beating them up.

“Hello there.” he greeted, flashing them all a bright smile.

Immediately, they all stiffened. He could faintly hear an ‘oh shit’ but his grin just became sharper. They wouldn't be feeling regret in the first place if they had kept their damn mouths shut.

“So I couldn't help but hear you guys talk about my boyfriend, Shirabu Kenjirou?” he questioned sweetly, but everyone could see the venom on his eyes, daring them to say anymore. Seems like some of the students at Shiratorizawa had death wishes.

“Oh yeah? And what about it? You gonna invite us to fuck his tight ass?”

Everybody stared at the boy, all wondering how in the great Lord's name he had managed to get into Shiratorizawa.

“No. I'm giving you an opportunity to shut the fuck up before I beat you into the next century,” he replied sweetly and he could see a few boys scooting away from the one who had been oh so stupid to try and provoke Semi. At least some seemed to be getting their survival instincts back.

“Oh yeah? And what are you going to about it you fag-” the boy never got to finish his sentence and he doubted the boy would ever be able to speak again, out of fear or physical inability who knew, as a fist connected into his mouth. The boys around them didn't say a peep but their eyes widened and they all huddled together scared. Good.

“Here's out it's going to go, k buddy boy? You are going to never look, talk or think about my boyfriend or me again? If I ever hear you say any of those words I will find you and show you the true power of the Shiratorizawa volleyball team.” his voice had gotten deeper and he could hear one of the boys whimpering.

When the boy who's collar he was holding nodded in fear he let him go and he fell into a crumpled heap on the floor.

“That goes for the rest of you,” he added back to the boys behind him who were trying to escape. Immediately they all nodded, all in fear. Immediately he flashed them all a grin that caused the fear in their eyes to grow. “Perfect! Hope to never see you assholes ever again,” he said brightly before making his way back to his table.

When he finally got there he was swarmed with quiet congratulations however Taichi stayed silent. After everyone finished praising Semi he spoke.

“If you hurt my best friend I will make you wish for death. Currently, I am holding you in high respect. Fuck that up and you'll be lower than those assholes.” and that had to be the most passion the normally dead inside boy had used.

“Got it,” Semi said, giving him finger guns. The look of utter disgust on the redhead's face made him let out a small laugh.

“What's gotten you so happy in a library?” came a voice from behind him and when he turned around it was his own personal angel.

“Nothing, sunshine,” he said, pulling the younger in between his legs and wrapping his arms around him. “I'm tired. Can we go back,” he whispered into the ear, hands grasped tightly onto his hips.

He could hear Shirabu tsk but his boyfriend complied. “Fine. Let's go you lazy, cute, jerk.” he huffed, cheeks blazing.

Semi just chuckled, bending down slightly to give the boy a kiss on the cheek.

He quickly packed their stuff up and waved bye to their friends. After that Shirabu went up to the librarian and asked to check out the book he had gotten for their studies.

Once they were outside Shirabu turned to him, face a mixture of gratitude and annoyance.

“You know you didn't have to do that, right?” asked Shirabu, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“If somebody tries to talk shit about the people I care about they will get the shit beat out of them. A fair system if I do say so myself,” said Semi, not even bothering to beat around the bush.

Shirabu stared at him and it was clear the boy was about to have a go at him before he yawned. “We'll finish this off when I don't feel dead on my feet, clear?” threatened Shirabu.

“Pfft, sure darling. Meanwhile, I'm going to take you to your dorm. And don't bother trying to argue with me.” he added when he saw Shirabu opening his mouth in protest.

The copper blonde shot him a glare before walking ahead. Semi merely chuckled, before going after him, slinging an arm around his waist.

By the next day, it seemed everyone had found out about the library incident. Semi managed to get away scot-free since there wasn't any evidence against him and soon the whole school learned not to fuck with the people on the Shiratorizawa team.

Well unless you wanted to die young.

[whumpwriterforlife]

I absolutely love your Nyx and CorNyx fics! Since you're taking prompts, maybe accidentally hurt by friend or knife to the throat with Nyx? I'd love anything you feel like with Nyx. Thanks so much!

Aaa thank you!! Here you go, knife to the throat. I made sure to include Cor into this one as well! I hope you will like this! Feel free to send more requests in the future if you feel like it.

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Characters: Nyx Ulric, Cor Leonis, Libertus Ostium & Crowe Altius

Whumpee: Nyx Ulric

Word count: 1244

Warnings: Mentions of blood, hostage situation

Can be also found on ao3 here

--

Cor was there, Libertus and Crowe a few steps behind.

Rough fingers sunk into Nyx’s hair and yanked his head back, baring his neck. The blade pressed against his throat. His own blade. The one his father had gifted him so long ago, one of the few connections he still had to his family and Galahd. A droplet of blood trickled down Nyx’s neck, staining the collar of his shirt.

“Not a step closer!” the captor ordered.

Nyx gritted his teeth together, a hiss escaping as the kukri — his kukri — dug into his skin and drew more blood. He tugged at his bound wrists but the rope was too tight, there was no room for his hands to move. The friction burned his skin but it didn’t stop him from trying. He couldn’t just sit still and let the situation play out when Cor and his friends were in danger. It had been his own stupidity that he had fallen into the trap, and he didn’t want any of them to pay the price for it.

“It looks to me that you’re outnumbered,” Cor said. Nyx couldn’t actually see him, not with his head forced back in such an awkward angle, but he could hear the underlying fury in his voice. His captor seemed to notice it too with the way he shifted. Nyx went along with the motion in an attempt to avoid getting cut worse. “You should surrender before you get hurt.”

The captor scoffed. “Your friend would be long dead before any of you could touch me.”

“Husband,” Cor deadpanned. Nyx twitched, not having expected that revelation from Cor.

“What?” The captor’s eyes narrowed.

“He’s my husband, you dumbass,” Cor repeated, as calm and professional as ever. Nyx, however, couldn’t say the same about himself as a slightly hysterical laugh bubbled up his throat. Cor never did really internalize the ‘don’t antagonize the hostage taker’ rule well. Nyx would have to have a talk with him about that after all of this was over.

“Husband or not, he’s at my mercy,” the captor growled and wrenched Nyx to his feet. A strangled noise burst from Nyx’s lips as his knees buckled, his legs having gone numb from kneeling. He fell against the captor’s chest with a breathless curse and then the kukri was back on his throat, right under his adam's apple. “Did you bring what I requested?”

“Yes.” That was Libertus. His voice was strained, and when Nyx met his eyes, he saw the annoyance and worry shining from them. “But you ain’t getting it until you let Nyx go.”

“That’s not how this goes,” the captor snarled, and pressed down harder with the blade. ”I get the codes first, then your buddy goes free.”

“Don’t!” Nyx hissed and closed his eyes. He was not going to let them give up the information for him. The flame came to his hand more on instinct than anything. He had no real plan but he knew he couldn’t let this go on. The fire burned and ate the rope. Nyx winced as the flame licked his skin but he tuned it out, knowing it was the only way. “Don’t— do it.”

“Keep your mouth shut!” the captor growled in his ear. Nyx clenched his jaw but stayed silent. He tugged at the ropes experimentally. Almost there. “The codes, now. Or the deal is off.”

“If you kill him, you will lose your only advantage,” Cor pointed out. “And then there won’t be anything standing between you and me.”

“Us,” Crowe corrected with a dangerous glint to her eyes. “He’ll have to face all of us.”

Nyx pulled his hands apart with a swift move and the rope gave away. The captor made a confused noise but had no time to do anything before Nyx thrust his elbow back into the man’s midsection and used his other hand to wrench the kukri away from his neck. Someone shouted something, maybe Crowe, but Nyx had no time to listen as he twisted himself out of the man’s grip.The man’s eyes flashed with something dark and he made a swipe at Nyx with the kukri. Nyx caught the arm but the man’s momentum had them crashing against a wall. A strained gasp left his lips as they fought over the knife. The flame was back in his hand, burning through the captor’s jacket. The man pulled away from him with a pained shout and then Cor and his friends were there to restrain him.

Nyx slumped against the wall and released a breath through gritted teeth. His hands stung, rubbed raw from the ropes and burned from the flame. Cradling his hands close, Nyx slid down until he was sitting on the floor, knees to his chest.

“Nyx!” Nyx’s head snapped up to see Cor drop to one knee in front of him. There was a potion in his hands and he said nothing as he broke it over his hands. Nyx flexed his hands and fingers, watching as the injuries were healed for the most part. He tried not to flinch when Cor reached forward and tilted his head back to inspect the damage done to his throat. The potion had healed those wounds too, but the blood that remained on his skin must have been a sight.

“I’m fine,” Nyx said and took Cor’s hand in his. “I’ve had worse.”

“Doesn’t mean we like it,” Libertus pointed out as he walked up to them. He offered Nyx his kukri back. “Crowe knocked Mr. Bad Guy unconscious.”

Nyx looked at the kukri for a moment before taking it from his friend. There were no traces of blood on the blade which meant Libertus — or one of the others — had wiped it clean first. Nyx appreciated it. He ran his finger along the flat side of the blade with a sigh. It felt good, familiar to have the kukri back to himself. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, brother,” Libertus said and patted him on the shoulder.

“We can never let you go anywhere by yourself anymore!” Crowe exclaimed as she appeared by their side. She put her hands on her hips as she looked at Nyx with disapproval. “You just keep attracting trouble no matter where you go!”

Nyx shrugged, a small smile on his face. “I need to keep you on your toes, don’t I?”

“You’re an idiot.” Crowe shook her head but her expression softened after a moment. “Let’s get you out of here and checked out by a doctor.”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Nyx chuckled. He could have very well stood up on his own but he let Cor help him upright and support him on one side.“So, we’re telling everyone we’re married now, huh? Even the ones who take us hostage?”

Cor shrugged. “Felt appropriate.”

“Felt appropriate?” Nyx asked incredulously. “You called him dumbass, too. You know that’s not exactly what they tell you to do in the guide book.”

“The book doesn’t tell the hostage to take matters into his own hands and burn himself while at it either,” Cor murmured. Nyx chuckled and leaned his head on Cor’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” he said. “For coming for me.”

Crowe scoffed from where she was walking ahead of them. “Dumbass, of course we came for you. Someone needs to make sure you don’t get yourself killed, Hero.”

Nyx snorted and shook his head at that. “Right, of course.”

[poetryofyouth]

I did it, I finally quit psychiatry

(I wrote this for r/antipsychiatry, but I thought I might as well post it here too. don't read if you're easily triggered)

It's been a long journey through hell, but I've had enough. I'm not taking any more shit from incompetent, clueless doctors who think they know me better than I do myself. Who do not listen to me when I beg them to change the medication and instead just give me more of the stuff that is making me worse. I'll finally be free.

I doubt anyone cares, but I'll just tell you my story from the beginning. This is going to be a very long story. Basically, I became depressed at 14 or 15, I'm a 22 year old woman now. The reason was mainly that I couldn't handle the pressure from school. I am a very ambitious, perfectionist but also extremely lazy person. I was constantly beating myself up for not achieving what I wanted to achieve but also unable to fix my behavior. I did also have some slight, not even that serious trauma from a emotionally neglectful childhood and my parents telling me I was a failure every time I would get a grade that wasn't an A. At some point it all became too much and I started self-harming. Then I got worse and worse, self harming occasionally but severely, until I finally attempted suicide at 17.

I was locked into a youth psychiatry institution against my. will. I had my rights, my freedom taken away and was forced to take heavy medications. The very first evening I asked the psychiatrist at the hospital about the side effects of the medications, but he refused to tell me anything and instead just said I should trust his professional judgement. Unfortunately I was too tired and unwell to keep asking so I just accepted not knowing what would happen to me.

They gave me very high doses of Seroquel (Quetiapine), SSRIs and other stuff that I don't even know because they didn't even tell me the names of what they made me take. I just know the names of the medications I was supposed to continue to take after the hospital stay because they were in the papers they gave me. Then after a few days I begged the doctor to take me off the meds because I was so tired I could barely move. I had never felt worse in my life. she refused and instead upped my dose further.

I got worse and worse until I managed to get access to a razor blade I injured myself with on purpose. When my roommate told the nurses what I had done, I was forcefully, against my will restrained onto a bed. Yes, they actually tied me to a bed. And then pushed the bed into a small room where I was alone, and tied to the bed, unable to move. Of course I had a severe panic attack. The room had video surveillance, but it took them quite some time to notice that I was having a panic attack. they finally came and gave me something to breathe into and I calmed down more or less, but they didn't untie me. I later had to pee, and they didn't even untie me for that. I had to pee into a bedpan while tied to the bed, with a nurse watching me. it was incredibly humiliating. I was not untied the entire night. I was restrained until the next morning. When they finally untied me, I had quite seriously injured myself from fighting against the restraints. I had basically torn the skin off my ankles, the scars are faded now but they were visible for many years. It was quite painful. I do consider this incident of being restrained against my will psychiatric abuse, especially because I was restrained for so long. In total probably 10 hours, maybe even more.

Then the hospital didn't really know what to do with myself. I had of course lost any trust I had into the nurses and doctors and shut myself off from them. So they transferred me to a different institution, a more high-security one. Of course I wasn't asked if that was okay, I had to comply. I had began to form relationships with some of the girls, so being taken away from the small support system I had was very stresssful, especially considering how fragile I was at that time.

The other institution wasn't much different, but it was good for me to be taken away from the people who had abused me. I got a tiny bit better. I started to trust the nurses there a little bit. I got along with the other patients and over all liked the hospital better for maby reasons. And then they noticed I was a little better. And then they decided I was well enough to go back to the other hospital. Of course I wasn't asked this time either. But I had made more progress there in two weeks than in the other hospital in a month. I had again started building a little support system. But worst of all, I was forced to go back to the place where I had been abused, and at the time I was still very affected by the experience. I felt incredibly powerless and betrayed, but I didn't have a choice.

Then back at the first hospital I decided I would get better, for no other reason than to finally be able to leave that horrible place.

Then two things were getting severly uncomfortable. I was weighed every week and started noticing significant weight gain. At the same time, I was hungry all the time. painfully hungry, ravenous, even. I basically felt like I was starving all the time but still put on weight. Of course that was because of the high doses of Seroquel, but no one told me. I told nurses, doctors and therapists about the hunger and weight gain, but they simply didn't tell me that was a side effect, they told me an increased appetite was a sign i was getting better. I legit thought I was losing my mind.I have struggled with weight all my life and putting weight on like that made me feel horrible.

Then the doctor decided I was well enough to start taking up school work again. I begged him not to force me to, I told them the pressure of school was the reason I was sick in the first place. Of course no one listened to me. I was forced to do school work even if I knew it wasn't good for me. they didn't care.

Then, after three months of hell, I was finally released. And only because it was Christmas, and my parents refused to leave me there over Christmas. I got a therapist and medication for home.

Then after the Christmas holidays I, against my will, started going to school again. And after about two weeks, my new therapist told me that I had to choose between dropping out of school or going back to the hospital, because school was already making me severely suicidal again. And that was one of the few good things a mental health professional had said to me. I dropped out of school and actually started getting better for real. I sometimes forgot to take my medication, and every time I did, I instanty felt better. I suddenly didn't feel like a tired zombie anymore, I actually had emotions, I felt... alive. So I begged my psychiatrist to let me stop taking medications, and a few months after being released from the hospital, I was free of them.

And everything was great. I got a job, then I volunteered in New Zealand, then, when I was in a more stable place than at 17, I took up school again and graduated with flying colors. I was doing incredibly well.

And then I started university. The first semester went okay, but my mental health quickly started deteriorating. It was the academic pressure again. That's simply something I cannot handle. Soon I started self harming again, and it became more frequent than ever before. I also got into a bad, one might even say toxic, relationship. My girlfriend had issues on her own, but her behavior towards me was often extremely triggering and I very frequently self harmed because of something to do with our relationship. I do not want to blame her for my behavior, but she often made feel worthless, like I was not good enough for her. She would frequently cancel our dates at the last minute, and when she didn't, she would be half an hour late, and when we were together, she didn't make me feel very appreciated either. I was very much in love with her and always blamed myself for everything she did. She once even talked me into having sex with her, when I had said no repeatedly. She did not accept no for an answer and kept pushing until I slept with her to make her shut up. I felt like I didn't have a choice. She didn't force me to, but she simply did not accept my "no". Anyways, it was not her who took the knife to my skin, but she was a big factor in why I did it. I never told her she was a reason for my severe self harm, I didn't want her to feel bad. I didn't hide my wounds fro. her, I mean we did see each other naked and I always had at least four or five big bandages. We just kinda... ignored that.

So then I was getting desperate and decided to get professional help once again. I went to a free psychiatrist from the student councellors and she prescribed me Seroquel once again. I told her I didn't want to take it because it had made me gain a lot of weight and made me very tired. She laughed in my face and told me Seroquel doesn't do that. I don't know if she was just incompetent or lied to me on purpose, because these side effects are experienced by pretty much every single person who takes Seroquel, they are listed in the information leaflet, and I know many people who have taken this medication, all of them had them. During the appointment, she did not even ask me how I was feeling. She prescribed me 200 mg of Seroquel XR. Now, the recommended starting dosage is 50 mg. She prescribed me a starting dosage of four times the recommended amount. Unfortunately, I did not know that back then, I didn't expect a doctor to be that negligent. I took the first 200 mg pill that very evening before going to listen to a debate. Seroquel XR takes a while to kick in, but oh boy did it kick in. I didn't even notice the tiredness that much because I was having severe heart palpitations. My vision was going from normal to black and to normal again all the time. I was dizzy and desoriented and felt my heart was about to jump out of my chest, and sometimes it stopped beating for several seconds. I legit thought I might die in the audience of a debate on ethical farming.

Of course I didn't take the pills the next day and started looking for another psychiatrist. I got an appointment relatively quickly at a private one, it was relatively hopeless to get an appointment with one my insurance would pay, but I thought if she could help me, money wouldn't matter. She prescribed me some stuff that didn't do much harm but also didn't do much good. basically, i was a little tired but that was it. i got a therapist.

About 9 months passed, I had several psychiatrist appointments where I told her the meds didn't do much good, but she never really changed anything. She also insisted that I would get tested for Borderline personality disorder and the psychologist she told me to go to diagnosed me with it. My therapist at the time agreed with me that there was no way in hell that I have BPD, but she also said that when psychiatrists see an adult who self harms, BPD is the only thing that can explain that for them.

Then fall came and a new uni semester started. I had been alright over summer, I had broken up with my girlfriend, but of course with the start of the semester, everything came crashing down.

I lasted a month in university until i impulsively took the whole pack of Seroquel I still had laying around and went to the hospital telling them i was suicidal and also told them what i had done.

Now, I have to say that the nurses in this hospital were absolute angels. They treated my with respect, I almost felt mothered. I was given a lot of activated charcoal and basically had a good night in the hospital. I also got stitches for my freshest self harm injuries, but I had several ones that were too old to be treated that way.

The next morning I was transferred. Can you guess where to? The mental hospital i had been to as a teen. Again, I didn't have a choice.

But overall, the experience at the emergency ward was not as horrible as the first time. I was an adult now and actually treated like a human person. it says a lot about my first experience that I was very surprised by that.

I felt better rather quickly, mostly because the stress factory university was eliminated. The doctor there again insisted that I had BPD even when I said that was ridiculous. They evalued me again and the psychologist came to the conclusion that I had a borderline accentuation, basically borderline borderline.

The emergency ward doctor talked me into treatment at the psychotherapy ward, so I did that for 8 weeks. it was okay, again I was treated way better than as a teen. I was allowed to have an opinion about the medication, I was even allowed to read the little side effect pamphlets. But overall it didn't really do it, I self harmed less but I still self harmed.

During that stay I decided to drop out of university and start an apprenticeship as a baker. I found a company to work for, I loved work, then Corona happened. The company had to shut down. They laid me off after I had only worked there for three weeks. Basically I fell into a hole again, became a depressive husk again.

Then some time passes and a new therapist asked me why I didn't want to go to university anymore, she basically thought i was too intelligent not to. I told her how I could never focus, how I struggled with procrastination, how I couldn't handle the pressure and she recommended that I get assessed for ADHD. Now, I had suspended I had ADHD for years, but I didn't want to bring it up myself. I didn't want to seem like hypochondriac, or an attention whore, and after all, I had told so many people about my struggles and they never suspended ADHD. But I was relieved she brought it up and I had an "excuse" to get assessed. I was professionally diagnosed with ADHD soon after and happily went to my psychiatrist with my brand new diagnosis, I was full of hope that I would finally be "fixed". She basically told me she couldn't help me because she didn't know a lot about adhd. She prescribed me a very low dosage of Strattera (10 mg) and recommend me a specialist. I called the specialist, but they told me they couldn't give me an appointment and I should call in a few months, maybe it would be possible then.

It was july, and over the course of summer I decided I would try university again. Maybe if I was medicated for ADHD, I would actually be able to study. In fall of 2020, I started a brand new program, something very different from what I had done before.

I realized pretty quickly that the Strattera wasn't helping so I found a private ADHD specialist. I was extremely excited for the appointment. Again I thought "I only have to get through these few weeks, then I will finally get proper treatment" I didn't get proper treatment. He prescribed me more Strattera, which didn't help. The next appointment was a month after the first and again, I was excited. I was sure thia time he would fix me. I was sure after that appointment I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But again, despite me saying I wanted to try something different, and that Strattera was not helping at all, he prescribed more Strattera.

Then university was getting really stressful, I had exams before Christmas, I was frustrated about him not listening to me. I started having suicidal thoughts again, I even relapsed with self harm, it had been months since the last time. But I more or less got through it in a piece, I even passed the exams (surprisingly), and was again looking forward to the next psychiatrist appointment after the Christmas vacation.

Strattera wasn't doing nothing, but it was not doing anything helpful. Basically, it made me feel quite relaxed, chill, less stressed. Which sounds good at first. But in order to get anything done, I rely on negative motivation. Basically, if I'm not panicking over possibly failing an exam, I'm just simply not going to study. So Strattera took the tiny bit of self-discipline and motivation that I had away and replaced it with a "idgaf"-attitude.Of course I told the psychiatrist. But can you guess what he did? Bingo, he upped the Strattera dosage. Again.

Then I had a second appointment with a new therapist, an ADHD specialist for adults. I told her how he did not care what I told him about Strattera and she was extremely upset and said that I can't let myself be treated like that. I needed to call him immediately and yell at him until he does something actually useful. I was baffled. I am not a confrontational person at all and I had never even considered actually arguing with a doctor. Yes I know, it sounds stupid in hindsight, but even after all that I had experienced, I still naively thought the professionals know best.

Okay so I called him. unsuccessful. I texted him. he ignored me. He had ignored my texts telling him that I was actually worse even before that last appointment, even though he told me to contact him with any concerns, and said that he prefered texts best, I thought he was maybe busy or something and didn't think much of it, but then he was ignoring my calls and texts. I was basically ghosted by a s

psychiatrist.

Okay I thought, then I'll simply go to someone else. To my suprise I got an appointment really quickly. I knew this wasn't a good sign, because good psychiatrists, if there even are any, don't have appointments free that soon.

But still, I had hope. And was of course disappointed again. I went to her with a professional ADHD diagnosis, but for her, that wasn't good enough. She had the audacity to tell me I needed another diagnosis from her psychologist friend who, by the way, has his office in a town over an hour away. She refused to treat me at all until I got that second diagnosis. Now,. I went to her out of pure desperation, out of knowing I simply could not go on like this any longer. Because I needed treatment quickly. And she told me she wouldn't give me that. I couldn't keep a few tears from escaping my eyea, she noticed and said very condescendingly "you don't have to cry, that's normal procedure". I tried my best to fight the tears, but as soon as I left her office, I started bawling my eyes out in the middle of town

And then I knew I was done. I had tried and tried again to get help, and I had not gotten it, I had not been listened to. Something in me snapped right in front of that office building.

I went home and threw my medication in the trash. Sure, it's bad to quit cold turkey like that, but honestly I don't care. I'm done. I'm done with psychiatry, I'm done with doctors. I have had the patience of a saint, but enough is enough. That was yesterday. And today I flipped a coin, twice, once for the psychiatrist and once for the new therapist. It told me to quit both of them, so I did.

I'm done with the mental health industrial complex. It has not helped me in all those years. I have only been sedated. Fuck psychiatry, fuck psychiatrists. Maybe I am simply meant to be miserable. I'll probably drop out of uni again, I thought I would be able to do it with treatment, but I did not get treatment, and I simply cannot do it this way. I've already attempted suicide because of academic pressure twice. Maybe I'll just have to live a miserable life working a low-paying job until I'm sad enough to finally actually kill myself. I'll probably always be a wreck, but at least I won't be a sedated wreck any longer. I'll be free, until I will be free for real.

Thank you for reading all this. I know it was a lot, but I needed to get it off my chest. Thank you.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

The Bad Guy (G.D. Gang AU)

Summary: The world sees him as Grayson Dolan - the CEO of Dolan enterprises, an entrepreneur. Y/N will soon find a much darker side to the world’s favorite bachelor.  

Warnings: language, alcohol use, smut, fluff, angst, violence…

Word count: 27.6k

The Bad Guy Masterlist

A week I had been down here, listening to Grayson’s stubborn grunts and dry chuckles, coated in defiance and poison. A week I had spent in the cold, dark basement as leverage where I had been beaten and degraded in hopes of breaking him.

I’m not afraid anymore. Not for myself, but for him alone. Hearing them take turns torturing the man I had come to love in spite of my better judgement, I knew if he didn’t give them information they seek it would be his end.

Me?

I knew how my story would end. I think I knew it since the moment I said ‘fuck it’ and gave my heart to Grayson Dolan, leader of the most powerful gang on US soil.

I knew what would happen to me; that I’d meet my end at the edge of a sharp blade or at the barrel of a gun. I just didn’t know who would be on the other end.

It would be to break him, the final nail in the coffin.

They’ve tried hurting me in front of him, but he barely budged. He didn’t even flinch when I took punch after punch until I passed out. The merciless, unemotional coldness in his eyes never withered. His claim of no attachment to me remained despite their threats.

It stung, even knowing he said it in hopes of my release.

My skin has ruptured above the growing purple blooms. Every movement hurts. I am battered on the inside worse than any broken bone and without a doctor who can even detect the damage.

I sat curled up against the wall, shivering in my underwear and clutching to the already faded scent of his shirt. It was either suffocatingly quiet or pierced with the screams of tortured people, not only Grayson’s. I’ve learned to distinguish the sounds for Grayson never once screamed, not even when he was walking the line of life and death. He’s too proud to give them the satisfaction.

The never-ending punches from down the hall, behind the steel doors, they never stop. Angry shouting never stops.

Until they do.

Quick, heavy footsteps near me. Determined walking, I could tell. It wasn’t a good sign for me, not after the last time. The last time ended with me coughing up a lung and him losing consciousness after they punched him so hard I could have sword his neck broke.

The door opens and I jump to my feet, placing an invisible mask of stubborn fearlessness, hoping to hide my true emotions.

“Walk.” The order is simple, just as the gun pointed at my head. The man tilts his head, instructing me to move instead of staring at his bloodied hands. The dry blood meant it wasn’t his turn to torture Grayson, but me.

I obey his wishes, knowing I have no choice. It’s either listen or die…there’s no in between.

Walking down the dark hallway, seeing a small light at the end where Grayson is held, I hold my breath in anticipation of what is waiting for me once I arrive.

What will I find in there? A man too stubborn to die or his corpse after all the animalistic things they’ve done to him?

Pushed inside, I stumble forward, my legs weak from days of starvation and dehydration, the beating and loss of sleep.

Lips quivering, I look away from the barely recognizable image of the man I love. His face is made out of blood and bruises, cuts on every inch of his once impeccable skin. His eyes are swollen over, barely open and bloody spit drooled from his slack jaws. His hair is matted, no longer styled immaculate as he wore it before. He’s shirtless, only giving way for more injuries that line his body.

He’s barely alive, but he still refuses to talk.

I’m not even sure what this man wants from us, nor what Grayson did to anger him. I just know it will end us both if he keeps up his nonnegotiable attitude.

Refusing to cry, I keep my pieces close, not allowing them to shatter. If I shatter right now, I didn’t know what it would do to him.

“Now. I’ve had a change of heart.” The man smirks, putting a hand around me carelessly. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek, trying hard to restrain myself from acting up when I know I’m no match for him. I try my best not to look at Grayson, averting my eyes to the ground instead.

“I’m willing to let you go.” He says slyly, his raw voice brutal against my ear. Disgusted by his proximity, I struggle against him, shooting my right leg out but my movements are far too slow. Hands moving from my waist, the stranger seized my arms, trapping them to my side.

“It’s obvious this one will not admit to anything to save you…so…I want to offer you an out.” His tongue brushed my earlobe, forcing me to hold back on gagging as nauseating swirls began to dance in my very empty stomach.

He slides his hand down my right arm, forcing something cold and heavy in the palm of my hand. He wraps my fingers around the metal, his breath that smells of cigarettes and alcohol overwhelming my senses.

“Make the shot and you can go free.” That’s when I realized what he gave me. A gun.

“Try anything and my men will blow both your brains out.” He warns, finally stepping away from me.

I lift my hand up, biting down on my lower lip mercilessly as I gaze upon the deadly weapon in my possession. I’m trying to figure out if trying to aim the gun at someone else would be possible.

Closing my eyes with a slight shake of my head, I aim the gun at a calm Grayson and meet his gaze.

There is nothing behind the hazel swirls I loved so dearly, not a trace of the man I cherished. His eyes aren’t even hazel anymore, but brown and bloodied, barely giving way to the color I adored.

In those earthy hues was his soul, not in the way those cheesy romance novels described, so obsessed with lust, but with the kind of beauty that expands a moment into a personal eternity, a heaven you wish to be a part of. A heaven I got to be a part of.

That’s all gone now.

“Maybe this will make it easier for you.” The man speaks up, noticing the continuous trembling of my hands, my entire body at that.

“The very first night we took you, I told him we’d kill you…after taking turns raping you. He said: do as you please. She means nothing to me.” My eyes widen at the words, feeling as if I’ll break like a porcelain figurine. Once I break, nothing will put me back together again. Not even Grayson.

Could he ever say such a thing?

Could he sacrifice me for his business?

He always told me I’d never be his priority, so is this him keeping his word?

My rage grew, but I knew I’d never be able to pull the trigger. I might not be his priority, but he’s always been mine. I can hate him for his actions, never forgive him for what he had done…but he won’t die by my hand.

Not tonight.

I shook my head rapidly disallowing my second thoughts to get the better of me. Faltering, the gun is ripped out of my hand and I whimper at the forceful takeover.

“That’s disappointing.” He spat at me, but I didn’t fret.

They untie Grayson, placing the gun in his hand as well. He wouldn’t do this to me. I’m not afraid.

Faith - mine floated away from me a very long time ago, like a leaf being pulled away on the tide, and into the sea to become lost and alone, likely drowned. But I have faith in Grayson. I’ve always trusted him, not doubting he’d protect me.

That’s why this is much more painful than it had to be.

Without a second thought, in a single heartbeat, he aimed the gun at me and cocked his head.

“Sorry darling. Nothing personal.” And then he pulled the trigger.

One year earlier

Have you ever felt change in the air? Like something big, unstoppable is coming for you, prepared to turn your life around into something you can’t recognize?

I’ve felt that this entire day, deep in my bones.

Driving to a night shift at a bar wasn’t a part of that feeling. That’s routine. At least for me it is.

It’s been that way ever since I moved to New York and started classes in NYU because I couldn’t afford tuition in Columbia, my dream school. I wanted to study medicine, to get a degree and make my parents proud. They say that children rarely surpass what their parents became and I came from a salesman and a music teacher that were born and raised in a town so small it doesn’t show on many maps…in this day and age, I had nowhere to go but up.

I swore I’d leave that town and if working late nights at a bar in a popular club, flirting for tips is the way to go, then I’d do just that.

“VIP section wants whiskey on the rocks.” Carmen gave the order and I nod, grabbing glasses. Two years behind the bar gave me enough experience to do most things with eyes closed, but when it’s the good stuff they require all your senses sharpen.

“How many?” I ask, taking the bottle of our finest whiskey.

“Eight.” She bends down, picking up a bottle of tequila for drunk frats on the other end of the bar and I gawk at her.

“This should make a nice tip!” If the guys have hundreds of dollars to spend on eight glasses of whiskey, I’m sure a wink paired with a smile would get me at least a third if not more of the original price.

Older they are, creepier but more generous they get. I’ve learned that fast. However, they were easy to impress. The young guys were those who actually expected innocent flirting to go further and got pissed when I put them in their place, denying me a proper tip at that.

Assholes.

Adding ice, I take the tray and make my way to the VIP section, swaying lightly to the beat. I couldn’t risk spilling these drinks for they cost as much as my kidneys, so I quickly stopped myself and plastered a smile before entering the section behind a velvet rope.

One look is enough for me to groan internally, seeing five young men and three men in their fifties.

“Frank.” I lean closer to the guard, making sure he’s aware I might need him. Although he’s always been there in time, I had to remind him for my sake.

“Stay close. I might need you.” Frank nods, his pale blue eyes darkening once he looks back at the men in their fancy suits.

“No worries, little one. Always am. Keeping my eye on them.”

Extremely self-conscious of my slightly exposing uniform, I take a deep breath and step up to the podium with their table.

Eight men sitting, three standing - guards most likely.

In the center of the table sit two almost identical men, both in suits and looking like they belong on a runway instead of the crowd they’re with. But only one of the two caught my eye.

Shaking my head slightly, I move closer once the same guy looks up at me, eyeing me up and down before rolling his eyes and waving me over.

Oh, here we go.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” I coat my voice in unnecessary sweetness, hoping to smooth over the waiting time that added up in my hesitation to approach them.

I started placing a glass in front of each man, ignoring the fact someone’s hand is brushing my ass and most of them are peering at my cleavage for a better view.

“We won the jackpot tonight boys!” The man who clearly knows no bounds taps my ass and I jump up, knocking over the last glass all over one of the guests.

Gasping, eyes wide in horror, I feel cold sweat wash over me.

“I’m so sorry, sir!” I begin apologizing profusely, hands trembling as I dab his thigh with a rag until his hand firmly grasps my wrist, stopping me effectively.

“Stop!” He practically growls at me, forcing me to look up despite my want to disappear.

“Get me another.” His voice clears as he looks into my eyes, the dark brown enticing me to nod silently. I realize just now that it’s the same man I first noticed upon entering, the one who called me over. Denying myself the pleasure to look at him any better, I nod curtly.

“Right away sir!” I squeal, swallowing thickly when I feel a hand on my lower back again. Turning around, I face the dickhead who made me spill and glare at him.

“Please don’t touch the servers, sir.” My voice is anything but pleasant and I don’t care. Fondling is where I draw the line. Slapping the unwanted hand away from me, I walk around him and start walking away on wobbly legs. Hearing a loud, gruff laugh, I glance back at the table only to see the old bastard enjoying his advances and the fact he got away scot free.

I grimace, trying to hold back tears and run the hell out of there with Frank calling after me.

“Get me a glass of that whiskey on rocks and a shot for me.” I ask Carmen, my voice as shaky as I feel.

Nauseous, skin crawling, screaming inside - that’s how I feel. There’s always someone throwing unsavory comments my way, but almost none have ever put their hands on me in that degree.

“You alright, hon?” Carmen gave me a sympathetic smile as I shook my head and quickly downed the shot.

“Nah. But I will be.” Shrugging, I grab the tray and head back, a little more confident than I left. A shot can do a girl wonders when necessary.

Coming nearby, I find one of the guards pushing that old sack of shit out the back door and stop, unable to contain a smile.

“I’m sorry I -” Frank stops me, but I pass right by, preparing to face the music again.

The table is now a man short, my heart a little calmer.

Placing the drink before the young man, I apologize once more only to find the guard that escorted that ass take his place behind the same guy.

“Thank you.” I whisper to the guard, turning to leave when a hand wrapped around my wrist again.

“You’re thanking the wrong man.” He glances at me, releasing my hand and I turn back around, eyes gliding over the men around him and the man I deemed his brother beside him. His brother is the only one watching the interaction, none of the others seems to dare look at me.

“Thank you for stepping in, especially after the spilling incident.” I swallow my pride and thank him for intervening, deciding he deserves it.

Waiting for a response, for a look my way at the very least, I quickly realize it won’t happen when his hand sets mine free.

I’m left looking at his stylish brown hair and sharp jawline instead, unable to see much more from this angle. He’s got wide shoulders, that I can be sure of.

“Well, uh…if that’s all.” I step back, lips set in a firm line until his voice coaxed me to stop.

“A bill would be great.” He reminds me, looking up at me with a raised eyebrow and I stop, tapping my pockets for the bill in panic. If I don’t have a bill, legally they don’t have to pay for a single thing which means I am the one paying for it. I can’t afford that to happen.

Feeling the crumbled paper in my left back pocket, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’ve been holding and unfold the paper in front of him.

“Wait.” He stops me once more and I tense up, biting my lip.

“Yes, sir?”

“You only put down eight drinks. We had nine this evening.” He points out and I frown, licking my lips.

“I’ve spilled one, sir.” I remind him sheepishly, growing uncomfortable under his unrelenting state.

Unexpectedly, the man stands up and my level of distress skyrockets.

He is TALL tall and very muscular, even under the suit it’s obvious. His eyes are dark and knowing, his nose perfectly shaped for his face, all his features sharp and appealing like something out of a Taylor Swift song.

He’s so tall and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well? Sounds about right.

“What happens when you spill a drink?” He steps closer, lights dancing on his skin as I feel my heart thundering inside my chest.

He looks like a walking Taylor Swift song, but he feels like he just walked out of a Lana del Rey’s song.

His presence alone commands awe, respect and his charisma can make any human stop and forget what they’re doing so long as it pleases him. He is magnetic, electric, someone you can get lost in before knowing what’s happening.

But he’d never go for a girl like me. His suit alone costs more than my car.

“I pay for the damage, sir.” I respond confidently, surprising myself with the calm and collected front I had put on.

His eyes narrow at me, just enough for him to make out my features better in the darkness.

“How much is one glass of this whiskey?” He pushes further and I gulp, wondering if he can see my heart beating out my chest. What does any of this have to do with him anyway? It’s becoming literal torture to speak to him where we both lean forward to hear the other better and none of that leaning forward ends with his lips on mine.

“Two hundred dollars, sir.” I answer, feeling my breathing turn more shallow by the minute.

“You don’t strike me as someone who can afford something like that.” He points out and I chuckle nervously, shrugging.

“All part of my job.”

He grabs his back pocket, pulling out a black leather wallet and opens it up, exposing an impressive bundle of cash.

I couldn’t not stare at the money, nor wrap my mind around the fact people just walk around with that amount like it’s nothing.

“Here.” He hands me the money.

“That’s for nine glasses.” He continues to grab more money, counting silently as his plush lips move accordingly.

“And for your efforts.” He pockets a rather large looking sum in my apron, knocking the wind out of me.

“That’s too much, sir. I can’t accept this.” I try to give the money back when he reaches out and takes my hand in his, holding it captive.

“Take it. It will do you much more good than it could for me.” He states, not breaking eye contact that has become far too intimate for my taste.

“And it’s Grayson. Sir makes me feel old.”

I nod, walking away, certain I’d never see Grayson again.

But he was there the next night.

And the night after that.

And many more to come.

He always requests me as their server by name, somehow knowing it without me ever saying it. He never addressed me by it, but I knew he knew.

Every night consists of him and his brother, Ethan as I’ve been told, coming by and taking the same table in the VIP section, their guard with them.

Every night I bring them whiskey on the rocks, the two hundred a glass type, and every night he gives me a tip so generous that I finally learned what it meant to buy a new book to study from instead of handy downs.

And I love the smell of new books!

Grayson would barely speak to me, politely exchanging orders and thank you’s, but each night his discreet looks started becoming less and less discreet.

Three weeks in, he didn’t bother just glancing at me with his serious face on and a very hardened look he kept steady for whoever would join the table that night. He didn’t just glance, but stare every chance he got. And despite my better judgement, I stared back.

“Keep the rest, Y/N.” Grayson’s three thousand dollars in my hands shocked me, especially when the bill was just a little over a thousand and a half. It’s also the first time ever he used my name in a conversation. And I liked it. The way my name rolled over his pretty pink lips left me in shackles of lust he evoked.

“I can’t keep taking all this money, Grayson.” I leaned in, speaking through gritted teeth.

“Y/N Y/L/N, early twenties, student and living in a studio apartment. Yes, I know the exact age which I’ll keep quiet because it’s rude to talk about a lady’s age, and yes, I know your exact address, but I’d like you to feel comfortable around me so I’ll keep it to myself. You need this money and you earn it every night. I award those who do their jobs well, so take it and don’t question it.” He tapped my shoulder, the air around us turning static with contact as it always does when he touched me, accidentally or not.

“You had me investigated?” I whisper shout, prepared to call Frank on him. This goes beyond creepy, it’s stalkerish!

“I like to know who works in my close proximity. Nothing to worry about.” Winking, he walked back to the table and grabbed his jacket, snapping his fingers and the rest stood with him, leaving as I’m left gobsmacked. All he had to give me is a quick glance over the shoulder as he folded the jacket over his forearm, leaning in as he stopped beside me.

“I’m sure you investigated me too.” His cologne alone is enough to make my head spin, let alone the muscles bulging under his white dress shirt. He fixed his tie, pursed his lips when he noticed I barely blink anymore and walked away.

That’s all it was, just looks and occasional eyebrow raise, not even a smile to spare.

Two months in, that’s when I got my first smile. And although he was wrong the first time around, I did do my research on him in the meantime as he was gone for a few weeks.

A businessman with restaurants, clubs, gyms even, all over the country! He owns a studio in LA as well! His company DT media, which he started with his twin brother is one of the most lucrative companies in the world.

He’s not just rich, he’s filthy rich! Squeaky clean record, most eligible bachelor, prince charming in this day and age.

Yes, I needed a couple of shots to truly take that in.

“Missed me?” He smirked once I came up to the table with his usual order, his ear now sporting a wing shaped earring like I’ve seen in the photos, but never on him. He traded in a suit for a leather jacket, only adding on his bad boy look.

“Those abs? Yes. Those remarks? Nope!” I’m no longer stiff around him, openly sassing back which he seems to like.

His lips curl upwards, the soft skin spreading until his pearly whites showed, blurred with an amused shake of his head.

“Oh! So, he can smile! I can die in peace!” I teased, giggling at him for he now chuckled as well.

A smirk, a smile and a chuckle all at once? I truly got blessed.

“Funny! For your information, I missed you.” Grayson didn’t hold back, which stunned me for a second. He’s truly in a good mood tonight. He’s never flirted with me, not like that. It was all – tortured and broody, all in stolen glances and accidental touches kind of a flirtation.

“Good to know.” I smile, genuinely unsure what to say to that. What do people say to these things?

I felt his eyes on me as I walked away, managing to resist the urge to look back at him. I’m sure he missed seeing me walk away just as much as he missed me.

But when I returned, he wasn’t happy. Hunched over and talking in hush voices, Ethan and Grayson looked almost panicked.

Until Grayson saw me and ran up to me with a wild look in his brownish - hazel eyes.

“I need to borrow your car.” He states and I scoff, thinking he’s joking. A man of his stature needs to borrow my old car? Funny.

“Keys, Y/N! Now!” He raised his voice at me, shaking me up for he never did that after I initially spilled a drink on him. He’s always been calm and patient. This is a new side to him. One I’ve never seen.

“It’s a piece of junk. Might not even start.” I defend my Impala, the only object in my life that matters to me.

“It’s a matter of life and death, okay?! Please?” I didn’t need anymore convincing, fishing out my keys. He snatched them out my hand, pressing a hard, quick peck to my cheek as he and Ethan ran out the back, giving me a view of a gun Ethan had in the back of his jeans.

I’m not sure what stunned me more: the peck or the gun. What the hell does he need a gun for?

Grayson didn’t return the next night. Nor the next one. Not that week, leaving me frustrated after getting a call from the police about my wrecked car, abandoned in Brooklyn.

Without a car, or any answers, I took matters in my own hands.

I walked into DT media every day after class and requested to see Grayson Dolan only to be turned around.

Unlucky for him, I’m not a quitter.

I badgered his business on daily basis over internet, phones, letters, faxes, in person. All in order to get something concrete to justify why I no longer have my car…the only thing I gave a damn about.

Until luck struck like lightning.

“Grayson Bailey Dolan!” I shouted in the lobby, catching his fleeting figure leaving the elevator.

He tensed up, turning toward me with a stony face and a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

I rushed toward him, glaring at him on the way.

“You’ve been a pain in the ass these days.” Grayson states, not allowing me to speak first and I chuckle dryly.

“And you borrowed my car, wrecked it and abandoned it in Brooklyn!” I grumble, certain my blood pressure is off the charts.

“So?” He clicks his tongue, lifting his right hand to check the time as if this conversation is just another thing he wants to wrap up and get rid of me.

“So?!” I look at him in disbelief, my blood boiling.

“It took me four hundred dollars to get it back after it was impounded by police! Two hundred to tow it to the nearest mechanic! And now they say it will cost me more to fix the car than to buy a new one!” My voice echoed throughout the fairly empty lobby, most people dare not look our way just like in the club.

“Again. Why is this my problem?” Grayson points a finger at himself and I am sure my eyes now hold actual flames from the fire he unleashed inside me.

“I want my damn car fixed, Grayson! Cough up the cash or get me your insurance company info, do something!” Voice raw from shouting, I found myself at my wits end, ready to give up.

“I have no idea why I’d do that for you. I had nothing to do with your car being totaled.” He shrugged, walking past me.

I grab him by the arm, forcing him to stop and look at me. His muscles are hard, big under my touch and his eyes threatening as he towers over me with his lips set in a firm line. His forehead wrinkles and a single hair falls out of place on his perfect head.

Straightening my back, I look him straight in the eyes, not allowing his built to intimidate me.

“You will fix my car or I’ll be your worst nightmare.” With my voice dark and low, I realize I’m actually threatening a man much more powerful than I could ever be.

“If you think I was a nuisance before, you’ll be shocked to see how far I’ll go to get what’s mine.” With that, I let go of him and walk right by him, intentionally ramming my shoulder into his. It hurt me more than it hurt him, but it’s the message behind that move that counts!

Next time I saw him was a week later, once more in his seat at the club and my services requested again.

“Hello, my little nuisance.” He greets me with a wide smile, taking the glass in his hand before I have the chance to put it before him.

I huffed, narrowing my eyes at him chiefly to take in the leather jacket, bad guy, James Dean look he’s sporting instead of the usual suit and tie I’ve come to love.

This felt more relaxed, but much more dangerous. The last time I saw him wearing leather was the night I said goodbye to my car.

“Anything else, sir?” I emphasize, making his brother burst into laughter, Grayson himself placing a hand over his chest.

“Ouch, doll. What did I ever do to deserve this?” He faked a pained expression, but a smile on his lips is a dead giveaway this is all just a joke to him.

“I’m not your doll! And you owe me something.” I lean back, grabbing my tray from the table quickly.

But he is quicker than I am.

In moments, his arm wrapped around my elbow, pulling me into his now standing form. I gasp involuntarily due to a mixture of genuine surprise and his body against mine.

Firm in all the right places, that’s the first thing I notice.

Warm, engulfing me in that warmth, that’s the second one.

Smell of cologne and not the store bought kind like I’m used to, but the expensive kind where one bottle would pay for my car to be fixed. That’s the third.

“When your shift ends, I’ll be waiting.” With that, he let go of me and a sudden wave of polar coldness spread through me. The tone he used wasn’t meant to frighten me, but a part of me did fear him. There’s more to the Grayson Dolan who wears suits and expensive watches than it meets the eye. There’s something there, much more sinister than anyone could comprehend.

I rushed back to the bar, still holding my breath as my lungs begin to burn from the lack of oxygen. I watched the clock with dread, seeing I have an hour left and to my surprise, I wasn’t called back for Grayson slipped me the cash when he let go of me.

Confident he forgot, I walked outside and almost had a heart attack when I saw him leaning on a baby blue Porsche with his arms crossed over his chest.

A car parked behind his was a simple jeep, his brother behind the wheel.

“Why are you here?” I cross my arms too, holding my bag closer.

“You said I owe you and well, I’m a man who pays his debts.” The confident smirk of his reappears, wiping all my confidence away in an instance.

“Like it?” He gestures to the car and I furrow my eyebrows in response.

“Your dream car if I’m right?” It’s a rhetorical question, that much is clear. His glances from the car to me only fuel my confusion. How deep did he go when he investigated me?

“Yes. But -” I begin, raising my right hand to my temple, pressing two fingers to it to ease the growing pressure.

“It’s yours.” Grayson states and I feel my legs lose their footing and waver.

“The fuck?! Grayson I asked for a few thousands to fix my Impala, not for a Porsche!” I shout, my voice high and almost shrill from the shock.

“Are you seriously yelling at me for giving you your dream car?” Grayson chuckles, sauntering toward me with the dreamiest look in his dark eyes. I pause, noticing the power behind those breathtaking eyes. The power that's as reckless as a tornado. His eyes flash. For a moment they look golden with warmth... and as careless as hell.

Pushing my hair back, securing it behind my ears, I look at him in disbelief.

“It’s a very beautiful car, but I can’t accept something so expensive.” Trying to keep my voice leveled, I sigh, rubbing my forehead now.

“Yes, you can. You deserve actual beauty in your life…well, beauty besides yourself.” He states, coming closer and my eyes widen, wild in the realization he just complimented me without a second thought.

“You’re not my sugar daddy and I am not a gold digger, Grayson.” I barely get the words out before he closes the distance between us, pressing his index finger to my lips. Tentatively, he traces my cupid bow, then my lower lip as if he’s searching something in the smallest of nooks of the soft flesh.

“I just want you to have something nice for once. Just accept the car, okay?” A part of me felt self-conscious with our close proximity, wondering if he can see the growing zit on my left cheek or if he could notice the eye bags I’ve been trying to cover up with a ton of make-up but failed, but another part of me hoped he would stop this torture where my heart thumped so strongly when he neared me and just kiss me already, ending the intoxicating desire to have him closer than humanly possible.

And just as I give in, gravitating toward him, slowly standing on my tiptoes, Grayson takes two steps back, making me nearly fall in his sudden need for space.

“Take the car, because it’s used. Does that help?” He continues his mission to convince me and I let out a shaky breath upon the loss of his touch. I wanted him. Now I knew that for sure. I longed for him.

“Used?” I raise a brow in question, wanting to keep the conversation going simply to have him with me longer.

“I already had it cleaned, but I may have christened the back seat twice…the front seat a couple times more.” My eyes popped at his confession, disgust at the implications and jealousy for I wanted that and although I’m not an idiot to assume he’s untouched, I didn’t need to picture him with other girls in the very car he’s offering me.

The keys come flying at me and I barely catch them before they smack my chest. Grayson walks to the other car, opening the Jeep doors with a wink sent my way.

However, I rushed after him, pocketing the keys in his jacket.

“Goodnight, sir.”

Walking away, I heard a loud groan and smiled at the sound. Wrapping my jacket around my body tighter, folding my arms over my chest for additional warmth, I keep walking into the night on high alert. Its pass two after midnight and I’m a cautious type. And for good reason.

“Get in.” A car stops beside me - a baby blue Porsche.

“Nope.” I don’t spare him a second look. He needs to learn to let things go. I’m certain he’s never had a woman say no to him before.

“Y/N, get in or I will make you get in!” He shouts, practically growling and I shake my head, keeping my eyes ahead.

That’s when he stops the car and is by me in a heartbeat. Next thing I know, I’m pushed into the car with a fleeting warmth from his arms before the door locks and I find myself stuck inside as Grayson sits in the passenger’s seat.

“What the fuck, Grayson?!” I try to open the door again, getting a smug smile on his behalf.

“You’re walking the streets dressed like that so late? Not on my watch.” His gruff voice and fingers paling against the steering wheel made me pipe down, knowing he’s right. Yes, it’s dangerous, but I had no choice in the matter.

“Well, someone ruined my car.” I mumble under my breath and he sighs, shaking his head at me before craning his neck to look at me properly.

“I’ll get your fucking car fixed, okay?” The language he uses matched his frustration with me and I could hardly contain my smile.

“So stubborn.” He’s the one mumbling now and my efforts to keep a smile at bay fail me and he notices almost immediately.

“Oh, you think this is funny? Let’s see how funny it is when I drive you home every night until I have your car fixed.” And my smile is effectively replaced with lips parting and eyes narrowing at the handsome man beside me. Okay, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to get more time with a handsome man such as himself, but the fact he’s so determined unnerves me.

“You’re not the boss of me, okay? I understand you’re used to bossing everyone around and having things your way, but I’m not a doll you can play with and expect to obey your unwritten rules.” Pulling my bag closer to my chest, I avert my gaze to the window, looking out to see he is driving me straight home because as he said it before, he knows where I live.

“I’m sorry.” He says through gritted teeth, like the words in his mouth are alien, acid. I’m sure he’s not the type to spew apologies often. It makes me appreciate the effort even more.

“I just want you safe. Is that a good enough reason to drive you home after I destroyed your car?” He asks, stopping in front of my building and I turn to him with a smile when he unlocks my door.

“You finally admit it.” I grant him a smile, moving to open the door with my right hand when he takes my left one. He brings it to his lips, pressing the back of it into his heavenly plush and I’m sure the gesture made me blush like a schoolgirl.

“See you tomorrow, doll.”

And I did.

Grayson wasn’t shy about his frequent visits and I didn’t hide how happy those visits made me. I know I said he and I wouldn’t work because he’d never give me time of the day, but I was wrong. The more time I got to spend with him on the rides after work, the more I craved his company.

The first night after centered on a squabble for the radio.

“The driver picks music!” He slapped my hand away and I slapped his right back.

“I’d be the driver if I had my car, you know.” I narrowed my eyes at him and his devilish smirk widened at my remark.

“You can’t play the guilt card forever, you know?” He emphasized the last bit, mimicking my voice to the best of his ability to provoke a response and he definitely got one. I hogged the radio for the rest of our drives as result of him being unable to handle my silent treatment.

Our interactions in the club remained professional for the most part, nothing to make anyone suspicious, no one knowing the truth but his brother who always minded his own business as if to give us a sense of privacy.

Night after night, I went to work with a smile, finally content with my life.

Day after day, I looked forward to the darkness that takes the city hostage for hours on end because that darkness brought me him.

‘I won’t be in tonight, doll. I’ll come by to pick you up after.’

My heart sunk at the thought of our time being cut short tonight, making the shift drag on. That’s until I was requested by name in the VIP section.

Happy to know he made it anyway, I grab his usual and rush to the table I’m used to seeing him at. I used to dread it, but it’s become my favorite part of the club.

However, once I walk in there, Grayson isn’t the one in the seat.

“Oh, I’m sorry sir. What would you like to order?” I quickly plaster on my fake smile, letting the professional in me take over as I scan the slightly older man and the snake tattoos on his neck. Swallowing thickly as he allowed himself the time to look me up and down like I’m there for his pleasure instead to serve him drinks, I used the time to properly remember him for future needs.

He’s someone I need to beware of, I just felt it.

“Don’t worry, doll. You got my drink just right. You with a side of whiskey.” The man spoke, his voice rough like sandpaper, my nickname sounding unnatural coming from him. It’s the nickname Grayson had given me and after a lot of bickering about it, I’ve learned to love it – love the way he said it with a longing smile and an oddly gentle look in his eye. This man said it like it was a swear word, something that is meant to harm you.

“I’m afraid I’m not on the menu, but the drinks sure are.” I remark, placing the drinks in front of him and his two men, showing him no fear. But I am scared. You can easily tell who the bad guy is and this guy seems to be one of the worst.

“That’s too bad, doll. I thought it said Y/N on here.” He leans back, raising his left leg up so his left ankle rests on his right knee. He’s spread out in his seat, trying to take as much space as he can and he isn’t shy about making sure I know it when he reaches for his dick to scratch.

Disgusting.

“How do you know my name?” I quirk a brow, feeling my brain catching up with his words. He’s using my nickname, my name and he’s sitting in this particular booth.

“Tell my old friend Grayson, Damien sends his regards. Can you handle that, doll?” Even the mention of Grayson’s name makes my heart pick up pace, the back of my neck now drenched in cold sweat and my fingers numbing from fear.

“I’m not sure who you’re referring to, sir.” I lie through my teeth, hearing my inner voice warning me this man is not to be trusted. Whatever it is that he wants, I can’t let him know about my friendship with Grayson.

“Oh, I think you do, doll.” He winks at me, casually bringing the glass to his lips and taking a sip before I take a step back and politely smile back as expected of me.

“If that’s all, I have to get back to the bar.” I duck out of there as fast as possible, minding my walk so it doesn’t seem like I’m running. I can’t let them know they inspired fear, because that would give away all I’ve tried to hide.

Locking myself in the bathroom, I quickly text Grayson.

‘Who the hell is Damien and why is he telling me to send you his regards?!’

No answer.

‘Grayson, he called me doll the entire time and he sat in your booth, in your seat and requested me by name.’ I type furiously, my fingers trembling as I do. I find myself picking at my nail polish nervously, feeling my mind is on fire with the waiting period. Any answer on his behalf would soothe me, but I can’t even breathe until I finally hear the sound.

My phone rings.

“Get out of there now!” Grayson shouts and I frown, looking around the bathroom panicked. I was wrong. His voice didn’t soothe me for I could hear the worry laced behind his shouting and it made the dread in my stomach that much worse.

“Why? What’s going on?” I question, my words coming out fast just as my legs turn to jelly.

“I’ll be there in five, already on my way, doll.” There it is…the glorious sound of my nickname coming from his lips – so effortlessly beautiful.

“O-okay.” I grimace as I stutter, hating the fear that crept up to me and took over every cell in my body.

“Just breathe, okay? Leave everything and don’t tell anyone you’re going out.” I listen to his instructions, but I can’t just leave.

“If I do that, I’ll lose this job. Grayson, I need this job!” I fumble with my apron, unable to untie the knot with just one hand. Pressing the phone against my cheek with the support of my left shoulder, I use my nails to untie the damn knot and the apron falls to the bathroom floor.

“Fuck the job! I’ll find you a different job! A better one! But you have to leave. Y/N, do you trust me?” Grayson’s panic overwhelms me, for I never heard this man sound quite so worried other than the night he asked for my keys. I know how well that turned out, so his worry translates to me freaking out.

Pausing before answering, my eyes closed shut as I try to silence my mind for a moment to think.

“Doll, trust me. Please.” And that’s when I know what to do without thinking.

Grayson Dolan is a man of many virtues, but begging wasn’t one of them. He’s the man who demands and makes things happen. Such men don’t strike you as someone who plead often. And this was Grayson Dolan pleading, asking me to do something irrational without an explanation and I trusted him.

In that moment, I trusted him with my life.

“Alright.” I press my lips together, opening the door and quickly moving around the dancing drunken people. Looking around, I made my way to the nearest exit, shutting the door behind me and walking into the alley.

“I’m almost there. Stay on the line.” Grayson’s voice shakes me up, reminding me he’s still there. I wouldn’t have heard him inside, but I heard him perfectly in this moment. Now it offers some of that comfort I craved, letting my knots be untied slowly.

He’s coming for me. I’m going to be okay.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” That rough, sinister voice made my heart stop beating and breath halt in my throat. Turning around, I blinked slow, afraid of the man who licked his lips and flicked his cigar to the side like he just found his entertainment for tonight.

“I’m just taking a break. Talking to my sister and her husband.” I point to the phone, making up an excuse and hoping to hear Grayson on the other end. But the line is silent.

Fuck. I just need to hear his voice to calm down, but without it, I feel myself slipping into the clutches of pure fear.

“Ah, family. How cute. My family is tight too.” He comes closer to me, pushing back his wavy tapper and I notice a vertical scar running along his entire right side of the face.

“Very tight.” He repeats, making sure I understood him well. The closer he gets, the more steps I take back to keep the distance between us. But I know should he wish it, I’d be caught in his grip shortly. I’m no match for him.

“Now, why don’t we get acquainted better and you can tell Grayson how good I made you feel?” He sneers, grabbing both my hands and pushing me into the wall next to me, slamming my head into it in the process.

My thought process is jumbled, my eyes barely opening from the impact and I feel warm liquid dripping down my neck as he presses closer to me, fumbling with his jeans. All my fight or flight instincts kick in as I drive my left knee up and into his nether region immediately.

He groans, doubling down before growling like a wounded beast. I stumble forward, still hazy from the blow and stop dead in my tracks when bright lights blind me and arms grab onto me. I fall into a hard chest, feeling warmth engulf me and a familiar scent of cologne intoxicates my senses.

It’s Grayson. I need no vision to see when my heart feels him.

“Take her.” He pushes me into someone else, the warmth and smell changing, but I don’t feel any less safe. I know he’d never let someone untrustworthy hold me.

I still turn around, looking at his dark figure over my right shoulder.

“Gray.” I manage to croak out, weak and faint.

He glances at me with his eyes wide in worry and a soft expression on his face.

Until Damien coughs, laughing.

In split second, I saw Grayson’s eyes turn dark and cloudy with hatred and rage, his face contorting, hardening as every muscle clenched and it didn’t look like Grayson I know anymore.

This is a machine.

“Take her!” He barks a command at the man holding me, walking toward Damien with hands turned to fists – each of his fists reflecting light off the brass knuckles on them. My eyes widen and I trash against the man who tightens his hold on me.

I watch Grayson begin throwing punches as I’m dragged into the back seat of a Jeep, realizing it’s Ethan who has me.

“Don’t look. Okay? Just look at me?” Ethan takes my face in his hands, keeping it steady as I hear the grunts, swearing in the distance. I could barely focus on anything, the ringing in my ears growing louder and my vision blurring. For a moment I was sure I saw them both, but it was just Ethan’s face doubling before my eyes. Not a bad sight to witness.

“I’m not…f-feeling w-w-well.” I stammer, my eyes rolling back into my skull as the last things I hear before passing out are a loud “FUCK” and a gunshot cracking in the air as loud as thunder.

**

Waking up to a splitting headache and hushed bickering left me with a dire need to calm my wild heart. Squinting because the light is too bright for me to process properly, I shield my eyes from the brightness with a hand raised toward the ceiling. Using my other hand to help my heavy body into a sitting position, I push my legs over the edge touching the hardwood floor with the tips of my toes.

Grabbing my head with both hands in an attempt to keep it on my shoulder, I grimace from the aches I started to feel in my entire body. The nausea didn’t help either.

Forcing myself to look around, I found myself in a bright, airy room with dominant white and red colors thanks to the squeaky clean look the room held. The walls are white as pearls, sheets a deep maroon to match the antique looking furniture around me. Every cabinet, drawer, even the closet door are a reddish color with flowery and bird themes. To my surprise, there’s even a keyboard in one corner, a guitar right beside the bed and several potted plants around.

All in all, I have no idea where I am and it brings the disorienting feeling to maximum level. Dizzy, barely holding myself up, I decide to follow the hushed voices. Mostly leaning on the wall, I find the door, entering a long hall with yellow and red colors, words written on the walls and paintings on them I barely looked at as my movements took most my concentration.

Finally at the end of the hall, I peak through the ajar door and find Grayson with his brother.

“You need to fucking cut this shit out, bro!” Ethan leaned toward Grayson who kept his back turned to the door.

“You can’t be out there starting a war for a girl you’re not even with! Have some fucking sense!” Ethan shouted and I bite my lower lip to stop it from quivering once I remember the gunshot I heard just before passing out.

“I’m not an idiot, alright? He’s pushing my boundaries to see how far he can go and if I let him start picking off my people, even the ones that aren’t officially in our crew, that’s when he’ll find us vulnerable.” Grayson reasoned, turning back around and no amount of lip biting could stop me from gasping at the sight, attracting unwanted attention with it.

Grayson’s white shirt was redder than the furniture in his room, more than my nail polish. His sleeves pulled to his elbows reveal his tattooed arms tainted with blood so much so his blue ink was barely visible under the matted substance. His face is coated in blood droplets, his neck bearing the marks as well.

“Y/N?” Grayson says my name with wide eyes as if he didn’t expect to see me right now, but all I can think is ‘run’.

No matter what he meant to me so far, this was too much for anyone to handle. He had hurt someone and I couldn’t make myself stay and look at him any longer. I don’t care that the person he hurt was scum, or that it was for me, only that his hands aren’t clean and he’s unpredictable.

Stumbling back in hopes of running, my legs give out and I fall flat on my ass with a pained ‘oof’, panic taking over me once he opens the door and I realize I can’t run.

Propped up only by my hands, legs tucked closer to me, eyes flickering from one twin to the other, I start dragging myself back and away from him.

Grayson takes a step closer and I feel a scream forming in my throat and just before I let it out, Ethan grabs his brother by the arm and pulls him back.

“Bro, look at her. She’s terrified of us.”

Grayson turned his eyes to me, a gentle look in his eyes just as it was when I called him Gray. But a speck of blood by his right eye is enough to keep me rooted and not give into his charmingly good looks. The fear sits on me like a pillow over my mouth and nose. Enough air gets by it, allowing my body to keep functioning, but it's crippling all the same. I never thought I’d be scared of Grayson Dolan ever again, the feeling so foreign after all the sweet moments we’ve shared.

Was it all an illusion?

“Y/N.” He starts slowly, lifting his hands up toward me in surrender, slowly bending down until he sits on the floor on his knees.

“It’s still me, okay?” His voice is softened, laced with care and worry, but I shake my head in denial.

“It’s not you. You’re not the Grayson Dolan I know.” I reply, barely keeping my voice from spiraling into the wailing cracks I’ve felt tearing at my throat.

“Doll…” He tries, the corners of his lips twitching as he swallows thickly, struggling to find the right words to say. But to call me that name again…that’s not the right thing, not by a long shot.

“Don’t call me that!” I shout, my own loudness echoing inside my head. Forced to shut my eyes until the sudden wave of pain wavers, I struggle to breathe with images of all the times Grayson showed me kindness overwhelm me.

Why is my own brain working against me?

“I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry.” He says quietly, his voice just above a whisper but calm and steady.

The adrenaline floods my system like it's on an intravenous drip - right into my blood at full pelt. I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide, letting in every ounce of the fading light. My body wants to either run fast for the hills or work to find weaponry, but instead I stay right where I am. Sometimes freezing is the best of the choices, and let's face it, there really are only three.

“Who the hell are you, Grayson? Really?” I question, pushing myself forward to relieve my arms from the pressure of holding me up entirely. I wasn’t leaving anytime soon due to my inability to stand and the dizziness settling in, but I also needed answers.

“I’ll tell you everything you need to know, just…Not now. You need to rest now.” Grayson offered me his hand to take and I narrowed my eyes at him – not only in suspicion and judgement, but to focus long enough to see him well enough instead of three blurry versions of him.

“I can’t rest with...”I pause, swallowing my spit to keep myself from throwing up.

“With a man drenched in blood who I obviously know nothing about.” I finish the words, seeing his curt nod at the last moment before he stands up.

“When you stop seeing double, I’ll answer all your questions. Until then, my brother will take you to sleep as the doctor requested after giving you those sedatives. Goodnight.” Grayson’s jaw clenched before he turned around and walked out, leaving me alone with Ethan who huffed before he crouched beside me.

I instantly relax, refusing to feel guilty about the hurt in Grayson’s eyes.

“Can’t get up, huh?” He guessed about right, a half smile on his face when he notices me nod in defeat.

“Let’s go, princess.” The next thing I know I’m wrapped in his arms, my head on his shoulder as the small steps he takes lull me to sleep before he even puts me down.

**

Waking up once more in the white room I now recognize faintly, I rub my eyes but remain lying down. Breathing softly, I stare at the ceiling for minutes…maybe hours before I’m ready to get up and face whatever the mystery of Grayson Dolan is.

Looking to the nightstand, I find a glass of water with tiny bubbles of air pushing themselves at the edges of the glass signifying it’s been there for a while now. Besides the glass, there’s a pill with a note next to it and I sit up with a low groan as my head still hurts bad.

Aspirin. Drink it, put on the clothes laid out in the bathroom and come downstairs. If you want to shower, there’s warm water and clean towels as well.

Eyeing the note, I see no one’s signed it. Assuming it’s Ethan’s handwriting, I get up and make my way to the bathroom which is immaculate just as the room. It smells…clean.

I quickly take a shower, noticing some blood wash out of my hair in the process and I remember my head smashing into a concrete wall that night as well. It’s probably why my head’s so badly hurt and my senses barely work.

Towel drying my hair and body, I pick up the clothes with caution and examine them. A black shirt that acts as a dress on me, falling all the way down to my knees. A fresh pair of underwear that suspiciously looks like something I already own and knee high male socks. That’s what’s left for me and I have no choice but put them on for my own clothes are far too dirty to be worn again before washing.

The minute I walk out the room, I’m back in the hallway with a little more focus than the night before. The walls are painted into a sunrise and the words written go with the painting – House of the rising sun.

I could smell breakfast in the air, eggs and toast most likely from what I could tell. My stomach turned, crying for something of substance to be given for digestion as the mating song of whales sounded. Rubbing it gently, I walked downstairs, finding the kitchen on my far right.

Walking into the room made life stop as everyone turned to look at me, frozen in the moment and I’ve never felt so self-conscious before. It’s as if I’m standing naked on stage with every eye in the house focused on my every flaw. No make-up, no clothes that fit my body and no dimmed lights to hide anything. I’m just me and I’m painfully aware of that as my eyes find Grayson’s before averting my gaze to the floor.

Grayson, Ethan and two women sat at the table, all staring at me.

“Well come on in, we won’t bite.” The older woman beckoned me to come closer and take a seat, standing up to help me which I’m very grateful for considering I’m still unsure on my feet.

“Thank you.” I keep my eyes on the table, pursing my lips slightly as a plate is set before me.

“How are you feeling?” The other girl asks and I look up politely, faking a smile for social purposes.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck and then trapped in a nightmare.” My response makes the girl chuckle. She claps her hands together, leaning forward.

“I like you.” She lets me know and I furrow my brows, daring to look at Grayson who’s still unmoving and his eyes remain trained on me. He’s watching me carefully for any reaction, making me more nervous than before.

Unable to stop myself from hyper salivating at the food in front of me, I practically chowed down on the contents until there was barely a crumb left.

“Well, we should go back. The jet awaits.” The older woman stood, wiping her mouth with a napkin before planting a kiss on both brother’s foreheads and the younger one simply flipped them off and sent me a small wave.

I looked at the girls in slight panic, feeling much safer with them there.

“Don’t let my sons fool you, okay? They’re still very much little boys with golden hearts and pure souls.” The older woman pecks my cheek and I find myself gobsmacked with the realization that this was Grayson’s mother and I barely spoke to the woman. The other girl looked a lot like them, guessing it was their sister.

“I’ll walk you out, ma’” Ethan gently put his arm around his mother, guiding her out the room, the other girl already gone – leaving me alone with Grayson.

He clears his throat awkwardly, picking up the dishes and I help him silently.

“You should, uh, rest. I’ll do it.” Grayson takes the dishes from me, his fingers brushing mine and it’s like a bolt of electricity rushing from my fingers up my arms. Retracting them fast, I wrap my arms around myself, leaning on the counter while he cleans up.

“Your mother seems nice.” I state, unable to handle the silence. There’s too many unsaid things between us and I know he doesn’t technically owe me any answers, but I deserve to know what went down that night. I’m probably jobless, carless and soon to be homeless – all since I met him and we’re not even together.

“Much nicer than my sister.” He muses and I smile, happy I got that right.

“So, you…probably want to talk now?” I don’t miss the nervous tapping of his fingers against the counter nor the way he avoids looking at me now. Grayson isn’t the type to get nervous, but he sure as hell looked to be drowning in his nerves in this particular moment.

“Would be good to know why my life went up in flames.” I shrug, pressing my lips together and a breathless chuckle accompanied by a quick nod is my response.

“I want to be completely honest with you.” Grayson walks by me and I follow after without a word. He walks out the kitchen and toward the stairs, continuing.

“We’re about to go full dark, no stars and if you can’t handle some things, now would be a good time to tell me.” Grayson warns and I feel my heart fall, uncertain with the darkness he offers to show me. I’ve always been afraid of the dark, even more so of falling…in any way and I’ve found myself at a doorstep with both my fears on the other side – his dark side and my feelings for him that continue to grow even with everything I’ve learned about him so far.

We walk upstairs, back to the room I woke up in – the sheets already changed and the fresh smell circulating the room.

“Hope you found the bed comfortable. It’s been serving me well for years.” He glances over his shoulder, gauging my reaction and I find myself uneasy, but also excited over the fact. It’s his room. This entire room is a testament to his colorful personality – clean cut, but various shades of the good and the bad swirling inside him.

“Uh, yeah. Really comfy.” I proceed to plop on the fluff, watching him sit on a chair by his keyboard, turning fully to face me.

“Are you prepared to hear the ugly truth or should I sugarcoat everything?” He questions and I roll my eyes at him.

“Don’t lie to my anymore. I want to know everything.”

He nods approvingly, almost impressed by my assertiveness.

“Well, I’ll speak frankly. I’ve always believed that the ability to speak to someone without overthinking your words, to be at ease with someone so much that you trust them with your deepest darkest truths…that is the definition of true l – friendship.” He stops himself just in time, redefining whatever was at the top of his tongue and I nod, agreeing with him.

3rd Person POV

“My business runs much deeper than the world knows. It includes a lot of legitimate establishments, many outstanding businesses, but also some that aren’t as legal to say.” Oh how bewildered she looked, so doubtful and quizzical. So reluctant to facing the real facts although she knew one day she would face no choice, for she was trying so hard to stop the vicious, secular things her mind was already turning his truths into...She was only beginning to know him and already she was overwhelmed by all she knew. But she had to know all he is for all he is all she cares for, but to know him is to love him and so she felt herself shake with fear of falling for a man as magnificent, as dangerous as Grayson Dolan.

“I own illegal casinos, speak easy in every damn city you can name, gentlemen’s clubs – some legitimate and some for specific clientele, gun trading and internet companies, art thievery and many more…In my world I am known as the leader of The House of the rising sun and it’s a gang on a global scale.” His words rip through her like glass shards do to skin, but he can barely tell if she’s shaking because he’s started to tremble himself. It’s strange to feel so nervous around a girl he barely knew, but he did know her. He knew almost everything about her and there was no way of denying it.

He knew her mood just by her smile, noticing the stiffness of her cheeks when she fake smiled at demanding customers and the real one she beamed at him more often than not. He knew her favorite color is baby blue and favorite car brand is a Porsche. He knew of her family and her desire to leave the small town she was born in. He learned of her financial struggles and her desire to attend Columbia. He knew she chewed on her bottom lip when she’s nervous, just as she picks at her nails because her nail polish was always damaged at the sides. He knew she washed her hair every night because he could smell the lavender scent every time she leaned down to put his drinks on the table. He knew her lilac perfume was store brand and nothing fancy like the girls he’s used to usually have on, but he learned to enjoy the smell for it reminded him of her. There are a thousand things he knows about her that aren’t in any research his men did for him, simply by observing her every night for as long as he could without compromising himself. So yes, he cared for her and her opinion of him.

“And that man…Damien was the son of my biggest rival. The man was a snake and he broke major rules that night.” Grayson’s hand formed a fist, the memory of what he almost did to Y/N washing over him only ignite the fire that barely extinguished itself once he saw the fear in her beautiful eyes the night before.

“Was?” She asks cautiously. She trembles and shivers, then looks at him with pleading eyes. Hoping, just hoping not to hear the words that without doubt would reaffirm her initial fear of what truly happened that night.

“He’s no longer an issue.” Grayson replies, flexing his arms and the inked biceps grow under the pressure before deflating ever so slightly.

“How many people have you killed?” Y/N stands, her hand covering her mouth. So frantic of the deceitfulness of the forthcoming actuality.

“Too many to count…But I know why they’re dead. They threatened me and my family. My loved ones. No one can do that and live. Not while I’m around.” Grayson stood as well, noticing her hand fall and her bottom lip is trapped between her pearly whites, being tortured as she nibbles on it.

He wanted to do that badly, to bruise her lips as he bit it while her lips molded with his.

“You can’t just go around killing people! You let the law handle it!” She exclaimed, watching him shake his head vehemently.

“The only justice in this world is the one we make ourselves.” Deciding to table the discussion of morality for now, she shook her head and looked at him.

“So why did I become a target?” She put her hands on her hips, releasing the soft flesh of her bottom lip a shade darker, enticing Grayson to lick his lips.

“I’ve come to…care…for you.” He paused between each statement, searching for words that aren’t quite heavy and are easily taken back should need be.

“And now what?” Y/N tilts her head up, meeting his gaze in determination.

“You’ll be in danger for a while and I can’t in good consciousness let you go back to your old life. Staying here with me is the best way to go.” Grayson’s words make her scoff, but once he raises his eyebrows to her little huff and puff show she realizes he’s serious.

“I can’t drop everything just so you can babysit me!” Her voice goes higher than Grayson knew it could, pushing forth a dirty thought about him eliciting the same sound from her in bed.

“Grayson!” She snaps her fingers in front of his face, forcing him to look at her again.

“You either stay and let me deal with this issue or go home and get yourself killed. Your choice.” He turned to walk out the room, but her hand quickly clasped on his shoulder and he stopped, turning to her halfway.

“I’ll also go stir crazy if you force me to sit alone in this big old house with nothing to do.” She sighs, defeat written in every line of the pretty face he admired.

“You can help me organize my paperwork.” Grayson offered, reminding himself to mess the paperwork up for he always kept his records straight. But she didn’t have to know that.

The smile that spread on her lips assured him she’s on board, relaxing his heart for a while.

While she demanded a different room to stay in, despite his offer to share a bed, Grayson granted her a room right next to his. He wanted her close just in case something happened.

“How do you know we’re safe here?” She once asked him, making him chuckle.

“This is my city. Only a man with a death wish would dare step foot in this street, let alone my house.” And it calmed her for a while, but it didn’t make the possibility disappear from her worries.

Working with him whenever he’s home, Y/N learned a lot more about his alleged businesses. All of them proved to be lucrative, bringing in millions upon millions to his bank accounts. Several of them – most hidden in offshore locations for insurance. She also found him to be a generous donor to many children hospitals and cancer research centers, for homeless people and ASPCA. Even though she absolutely refused to admit it to herself, it made his room inside her heart grow.

She learned he likes his morning coffee black and anymore caffeine would drive his anxiety up to impossible levels which made her restrict his caffeine intake. She also learned he’s very quiet when work is involved, but also ruthless when necessary. She found him to be a little cold toward her, but the iceberg slowly melted over time – finding him staring at her whenever he thought she wouldn’t notice. But she did.

She did.

She found him to be lactose intolerant and both brothers refused to take any dairy products, which she loved teasing them about. Surprisingly, she learned he’s also got mild asthma and so many allergies she lost count of – starting with seasonal allergies down to animal allergies. Even with her love for all things furry, she didn’t mind a possibility of a life without them.

It dawned on her when she ended up running her fingers through his hair when she tried to wake him up in the middle of the night because she couldn’t sleep and just wanted to talk to him. Even more when he woke with a soft smile, tapping the spot beside him for her to take. He didn’t yell or complain of her being a nuisance, but allowed her to ramble about her most ridiculous fears about dark and falling in love or out of an airplane which she claimed to be the same thing.

“What are you afraid of?” She asked quietly, wanting to know what makes a man like him cower in fear and hide.

“Closed spaces.” He sighed, turning on his side to look at her profile – the cheeks, her nose, the way her eyes light up even in the dark.

“I’m not a man with many fears, Y/N.” He adds, seeing her nod with a smile.

“Guessed as much.” She puts a hand over her chest, subtly glancing at him.

“Why do you care so much about that Impala?” Grayson asks the tough questions and she turns to her side now as well, their faces so close their noses are inches apart.

“It’s uh…well. I spent four years of high school working odd jobs and collecting every nickel I earned to ensure I have something to use as a way to leave town. Four years and the only thing I could afford was that piece of junk that took me here. When I started my first year in NYU, I didn’t even have a job or a place to live. Impala was my home for months. I slept in the university parking lot, the night security noticing and taking pity by promising to watch over the car so I can get a decent night of sleep without worrying someone will break in and…It represents a big part of my life. All I’ve worked for, the shelter it provided…an adventure. All of it.” She admits, bearing her soul open for him to see and he had nothing short but admiration for the girl before him. She’s much stronger than he gave her credit for and he realized he can’t write her off as easily as he thought. She might be able to handle his lifestyle, him and all it brings.

Throwing his arm over her hip lazily, Grayson brought her closer to him, hearing her breath speed up at the proximity, but so did his.

He didn’t love her, he desired her most of all. He desired her gaze on him as desperately as the air he needs to breath. He desired her skin against his as the food he’d need to live. He desired her lips to speak his name in ecstasy more than the water as he thirsted for her more than anything else in this world.

And in his desire for her he had lost himself entirely. He had lost his cold exterior, becoming putty in her hands. He had lost his ruthlessness toward her, directing it to any and all who’d harm her. He had lost his resolve to stay away simply so he’d give into her with all he is.

So with that desire and the loss of him, he hated her for all of it. He hated her with burning passion. He hated her so much it consumed him.

Or so he told himself so. For in the end, he did nothing to push her away.

He couldn’t.

Not now. Not ever.

Logic demanded him to stop acting the way he is, but his entire logic went out the window the night he met her and that creep put his hands on her. He’s no longer a part of the living anymore either. She’s become his cornerstone and no matter how hard he tried to deny it, it didn’t change. It’s become factual.

“Gray.” She whispered in the haze his closeness brought him, making his lips spread widely.

“I’ve been waiting for two months to hear you call me that again.” Grayson’s not ashamed to admit to it, remembering his own pledge of honesty.

“I held off on it…it makes us too cozy for comfort. Blurs the lines a little.” Her hand presses forward into the bicep of the arm around her, her teeth capturing her bottom lip once more.

“Oh, doll, you have no idea what you do to me at all.” Grayson leans in, his nose brushing hers as all pretense falls. He no longer has the strength to stay away and she doesn’t want him to. It’s been seven months since they met and every moment since then has been filled with mutual desire and need to fulfill their fantasies.

Her hand moves to the side of his face, grazing the two day old stubble he grew simply because she dared him to. He’s never let his facial hair grow before, finding the look unkempt and dirty but the look he saw on her face as he grew the hair made it worth it. He knew it would come in handy eventually and he knew, even in the darkness of the room, that she bore the same look now.

Her heart races as she glances between his lips and his eyes, knowing what he’s thinking. She’s not exactly a virgin, but she’s barely experienced in sex and knowing he must have bedded girls who have not only experience but incredible looks had her doubting her own skill and retreating.

“Hey, hey. What did I do?” Grayson wondered, his voice unusually soft and understanding.

“I just…I’m not sure what’s happening right now.” She admits sheepishly, finding Grayson turn to his other side. Just when she thinks he’s angry and wants to leave her, he turns on the nightlight and comes back to her side with a genuine smile on his lips.

“I was moments away from indulging in my fantasy of feeling your lips against mine.” He responds so casually that Y/N coughs, nearly choking on her own spit.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” He’s really not holding back, she thinks, shaking her head shyly, her lip finding its spot back between her teeth.

“How many times have you had sex before?” Grayson asks, her eyes widening and her hands covering her face before she turned on her back.

“I thought you were going to just kiss me!” Exclaiming, she giggled, finding it hard to maintain eye contact.

“You and I both know that neither of us would stop at a kiss, no matter how hard we try.” Grayson cocks his eyebrow, noticing one of her hands drop lower and make way for her to look at him with her left eye.

“Once and it was so bad, I barely felt anything but the moment I was no longer a virgin, okay?! I’m not experienced like you and I have no clue what to do, so stop looking at me all sexy like that and let me breathe man!” She dropped both her hands from her face during her little freak out before sitting up in frustration and he sat up, chuckling at her behavior.

“What’s so funny?!” She pushed his right shoulder lightly, annoyed with him. There she is, opening up like never before and he laughs at her.

“The fact that you think I’d judge you for that or the fact that you think you and I having sex would ever compare to the girls I had before. They were all a one night stand.” He laid down, perching himself up on his right elbow so his damn abs were visible in all their perfection and Y/N could barely contain herself.

“And I’d be what exactly?” She pushes for answers he looked ready to provide her with, her heart jumping nervously in her chest.

“Something I’d like to repeat over and over again. I wouldn’t oppose to call it…” He paused, licking his lips. “Dating.” He finished, looking at her wide eyes.

“You’re asking me to be with you? Like, exclusive?” She raised an eyebrow, shifting in her spot so she’s turned to him. Even without her make-up, she’s now accustomed to Grayson seeing her without it and still complimenting her puffy face in the morning when she’s stumbling in the kitchen with Ethan, unable to speak so early before having some breakfast first. It’s something in common she shared with his brother and Grayson found it both frustrating and endearing. And beautiful. He found her truly beautiful with and without make up.

“I guess so. But…I have to be honest with you.” He ran his left hand through his hair, moving it out of his face.

“I’ll never put anything or anyone before my work. That business is my number one priority. The men that work for me and their safety will be my number one priority. You can’t get in the way of that. Ever. Because I will choose The house of the rising sun over you every time.” The painfully honest confession had her frowning, but her desire for him eclipsed her thinking.

She assumed that the choice would never come and she could let herself get lost in Grayson without consequence.

“Okay.” She whispered, letting out a dash of air she held while he stated his terms.

Y/N sighs and leans up, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. Grayson doesn’t move, letting her take the lead if that’s what she needs to feel comfortable. He’s actually still in shock she’s okay with what he had to offer her, which isn’t much.

It isn’t love, just fun and he hoped she understood that.

Grayson looks as she lays back down, her hair tied in a loose braid barely hanging on her left shoulder as gravity settles in. He brushes his nose against hers, using his fingers to tug at the hair clip that held her hair together. Slowly, he leans down, just centimeters above her face, unraveling her braid one strand at a time. It’s painfully slow, building up the moment and her chest rise and fall with a quicker pace as he takes his time in the sweet torture. His lips are ghosting over hers before he tilts his head and starts kissing down her jaw.

She hums, eyes closing with Grayson’s movements.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, doll.” He whispers as her hand reaches down his abdomen, lightly tracing the outlines of his abs. He moves his hand down, reaching for the hem of her shirt, urging her to tug it off.

Y/N sits up and tugs her shirt off, exposing her sports bra and Grayson sends her a smirk as she shyly groans.

“This is so unplanned, it’s not even funny.”

Grayson eyes her, but the smirk disappears as she pushes up and wraps her hands around the back of his neck, pulling his lips to hers. His hands go down to either side of her head as she lays back and pulls him down with her. The kiss deepens and she moans into Grayson’s mouth as he rolls his hips against hers, his hardened length pressing between her legs already. She’s felt more in this make out session than her entire first time experience and she couldn’t contain her excitement about going further with him.

Grayson detaches his lips from hers only to reattach them to the sensitive skin of her neck, learning quickly where she’s most sensitive to his gentle touch. Her eyes close as she tilts her head, giving him more access. He moves one of the straps of her bra aside, enough to start sucking a small mark close to her collarbone. A pleasure-filled sigh falls from her lips as her hand comes up to Grayson’s back, lightly pressing her nails into his skin. A low breath falls from Grayson’s mouth with the sensation, but he continues to leave the hickey, running his tongue over the spot once he’s done to soothe the skin. He wanted to mark her, for his satisfaction alone but judging by the sound she made, it was very much mutual pleasure.

She pushes up, pulling the bra off herself, wanting to move faster, growing impatient.

A smirk comes to Grayson’s face while he wraps his arms around her, bowing his head to press open mouth kisses around her collarbones and down her chest until he reaches her well rounded breasts that he found alluring for months in the dim light of the club she worked in and now he finally had full access, nothing holding him back. One of his hands comes from behind her and plays with one of her nipples, getting a moan for his effort, one of her hands going back to the bed to hold herself up while Grayson’s mouth starts working on the other nipple.

With her eyes closed as she begins to lose herself in the sensation his lips cause, her hips start to buck forward into Grayson’s on instinct.

She pulls Grayson’s head from her breast, bringing his lips to hers before pulling him down with her and pushing his shoulder for her to get on top. His hands instinctively go to her hips, digging his fingers into the soft tissue over the bone. He loves that she’s got some meat on her bones, giving him something to squeeze and hold onto while his mind goes haywire.

Y/N follows the same pattern Grayson did to her neck, satisfied once she’s left her mark on his skin. She kisses her way down his chest, slow enough that it’s becoming teasing. She’s not doing it on purpose, but Grayson’s shaking his head and biting his tongue in order to stop himself from groaning out loud.

Once she reached the hem of the briefs he sleeps in, she slips her thumbs into the waistband, pulling them off and moving to allow him to kick them all the way off while she strips herself of her own underwear before kissing up his thighs and to his hip, around his pelvis and back up his chest, this time intentionally avoiding his twitching length.

She wasn’t sure what to do exactly, only knowing what she read in erotic novels and she was fairly certain they don’t count as proper research for sexual acts.

“Gonna tease me like that all night, doll?” Grayson’s voice is raw with lust as her lips meet his, feeling her core hovering over his length with every nerve in his body.

“If you’re going to look at me like that, I just might.” A cocky smirk comes to her face as she pulls away to meet his stare.

“Fuck no.” Grayson growls, hands coming up to up her face, lips colliding with hers a little rougher than before and she can tell he’s aching for her.

“No more teasing, please.” He mutters against her lips, giving her confidence she’s been lacking. It’s the third time she’s ever heard Grayson Dolan pleading and all those times have been with her. If that doesn’t empower a woman, nothing does.

Without saying a word, Grayson reaches beside her and opens his nightstand drawer for a condom, feeling her smile against his lips. Her legs slightly giving out, she slides her folds against Grayson’s length, inadvertently teasing him while he opens the condom and puts it in place with a few beads of sweat collecting on his chest.

Once ready, Grayson turns them over, his head is against her collarbone, hers against the pillows. He lines his length up with her center, brushing his tip across her folds a few times before stopping entirely.

“You sure, doll?” Grayson wants nothing more than to bury himself deep inside her, but he needs to make sure she’s alright with the way things are going. Before this night they were barely anything concrete and now he’s sweaty and his heart is pounding at the sight of her ready for him and he can’t mess this up by not being absolutely certain she wanted him just as badly as he wants her.

“Gray, please.” With hooded eyes, she’s the one pleading, her hands holding onto his arms for dear life as he slowly pushes into her the very moment he gets reassurance. He feels her fingers dig into his shoulders just as his dig into her hips.

He doesn’t move, opting to rest his forehead against hers, feeling her breath fan his face. Grayson’s aware he’s bigger than most guys and this being only her second time, he mentally face palmed for not preparing her more. He’s just so eager he couldn’t contain himself, but he managed to enter without issue, slowly filling her up inch by inch until he bottomed out, remaining still to let her adjust to his size before grinding into her.

His thrusts are met by her own hips moving on instinct, grunts and moans filling the air and become louder as he increases his pace. He feels himself getting closer, her clenching around him letting him know she’s not too far behind. He can tell by the expression of pure bliss and lust on her face and the pitch of her moans growing just to the sound he wished to get her to make that she’s getting close, so he takes a hand from her hip and presses his thumb to her clit. She jerks forward, a higher moan escaping her throat. His thumb is relentless, keeping its pace until she’s clenching around him and yelling his name, his own grunts and moans coming to an end when his movement turns jerky and he all but collapses on top of her.

Her heart pounds as her sweaty chest meets his head, giving him a perfect way to hear just what he has done to her. He presses a couple of lazy kisses on her chest, resituating on her, planting his feet on the bed but he doesn’t move, not yet.

“Gray.” She whispers, bringing a smile to his lips. Knowing he just felt her first orgasm and that he’s responsible put him on cloud nine. He barely held it together, never ever being the type to fall into a girl and remain there as she scratched the back of his neck like he just did, allowing her to touch him after sex.

“You good, doll?” He asks, barely lifting his head off her chest.

Sex always seemed to be business for Grayson, getting the job done and hopping into the shower before returning to his bed with the girl leaving right after the deed.

Now?

He found himself torn between doing it again or falling asleep in her arms. Lucky for him, she decides for them.

Pushing him to the side, she’s turned the tables on him, reaching for a second condom out his drawer, wanting more.

“Very good.” She responds with a smile.

Y/N lifts herself up and grabs Grayson’s erection, smiling when she sees he’s already good to go. Sliding the condom easily onto him before lining her center up with his tip, she leans down to press a kiss on the left corner of his lips. At an agonizingly slow pace, she sinks down onto him, Grayson’s grip on her sides tightening while her nails go back to digging into the skin, but instead of his shoulders it’s his chest this time around.

Once Grayson’s cock fills her up fully, she takes a minute to adjust just as Grayson did the first time, trusting there’s a reason why he held off for so long. But Grayson is also adjusting to feeling her around him as his eyes take her in. Eyes going from hers, lingering on her breasts, and traveling down to where their lower halves connect, an involuntary groan coming from deep inside his throat at the sight before he looks back up to her. Once his eyes are back on hers, she sends him a lust-filled smirk before she starts moving. Riding him, slowly at first and speeding up as his grip starts to tighten on her hips and her own need grows dire.

Grayson’s name starts sputtering from her lips, hitched breathing in between as her head is thrown back, hair dangling down her back. She starts clenching around Grayson so fast and he takes his chance to move his thumb to her clit once more to help push her over the edge. She jerks at his touch, moaning loudly in ecstasy, louder than before.

“Gray.” She breaths out, gasping for air.

“C'mon, doll.” Grayson pants, the rubbing of his thumb never stopping.

In only seconds, she’s moaning his name, her orgasm hitting hard as she falls onto Grayson’s chest. Grayson’s feet push into the mattress as he pounds into her, chasing his high as he helps her ride out hers. She starts coming down, whispering soft praises into his neck, kissing and biting, sucking on the glistening skin in hopes of successfully leaving a second mark. The whispered praises and assault on his neck are enough to throw him over the edge.

Grayson’s movements come to a halt, his breathing heavy in her ear. He buries his head in the crook of her neck, trailing kisses from her neck to her cheek. An unusually intimate move on his behalf, but she giggles in response, turning her head to look at him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

She moves aside, letting him dispose of the used condoms, worn out to move on her own. She can feel all her bones drifted apart to let him in fully, but a blissful smile remains on her face when he comes back, still sweaty and hungry for her. But he can tell she’s already tired, the night turning into so much more than she anticipated and he didn’t want to overwhelm her. Not this night.

Laying back beside her, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her right ear before resting his head in the crook of her neck.

“G’dnigt, doll.”

While she slept on his chest, he traced her skin with his fingertips. Grayson knew he’s in over his head and still did nothing to stop it.

**

She always expected sex with Grayson would be rough, something out of her comfort zone. Instead, she got intimacy, genuine lust filled kisses and gentle touches, and craving for one another until there’s no more left to give. She got what she dreamed her first time to be. And in a way it was…it was her first orgasm. And she was happy it was with him.

She could no longer deny that she had fallen for him, but she was damn certain she’d never tell him so.

However, upon opening her eyes, she’s saddened to find the spot beside her empty and she’s all lone in that big bed of his. She half expected him to bring her breakfast in bed or to find him nuzzled in her neck, reminding her that Grayson isn’t the type of guy she usually dates. He’s a gang leader and the tenderness of their night together was surprise on its own, the morning after would have been completely out of character for him.

Sitting up with her head against the headboard, she sighs, pulling her knees closer to her chest. The sheets are wrinkled, out of sorts in every way imaginable. Assuming she looks the same, Y/N smiled to herself and the giddy feeling in her chest grew as she recounted the night before.

“Morning, doll.” Grayson’s voice interrupts her daydreaming, her head turning to him on instinct.

“You’re here?” She states, but it sounds more as a question only confusing him. Why would she expect him to be anywhere else after the night they had?

She took a closer look at him, dressed in a suit – all class and little to no signs of him being anything but the business man she thought him to be. His hair is combed to the side and back, giving him a wind-messed-up-my-hair-but-I-still-look-good kind of a look. Sunrays light up his face, giving his eyes a hazel swirl in a brown orbit, one she deemed magical and not at all earthly. His scruff is now shaved, leaving his skin untouched and he immediately looks five years younger than he is. His lips, the very lips she could still feel against her skin, they spread into a shit eating grin, making her roll her eyes.

While he took a moment to appreciate her disheveled look, he could tell she was scanning him as well. He noted the messy bed hair, finding it looks like a dead raccoon and it still made his heart do a flip. Her eyes are dark, entranced by him, but her lips are parted and wet, letting him know she recently licked the rosy softness he wanted to taste again. Barely covered, a couple of bruises and marks were more than visible under the morning light, giving him a sense of satisfaction for it shows she’s his and his alone now. It reminds him how he watched the marks she left on his neck nearly ten minutes ago, buttoning his shirt all the way to the top to hide them from the world. He’s supposed to be the most eligible bachelor in New York and such marks would surely make people talk.

“You’re staring.” Grayson teases, resting his bawled up hands on the bed, leaning forward to capture her lips in a quick kiss to satisfy his need for her touch.

“And you’re leaving.” She points out, a flash of hurt behind her Y/E/C eyes.

“Gotta attend a meeting and then handle some stuff with E. I’ll be back tonight, doll. You should sleep. Still early for you to be up.” Grayson tilts his head right, placing a kiss on her right cheek before standing up and shooting her a wink.

“Stay safe.” Her words follow him outside, making his chest unnaturally warm with glee he’s unused to feeling. She made him feel things he long forgot were possible to experience as a man of his standing, and it felt good. Really good.

While Grayson attended to his business, Y/N wandered his house in thought. She had long switched to online classes when this whole thing began, but she genuinely missed going to lectures and joking with Carmen at the club. She felt a little alone in the big house because when Grayson and Ethan are gone, she’s left to her own devices. Only a maid or two would cross her path, avoiding chitchat like the plague.

It started feeling like she’s his pet – a dog that mopes around until the owner returns, wagging its tail happily. She hated that comparison, but that’s exactly how her heart would feel when she heard the door open and his face soon came to view.

She tried doing some paperwork, cooking, even completed her assignments for the next week, the very last ones before graduation comes. A part of her knew she’d never get to go, but she hoped Grayson might make an exception and let her see the world once more. Surely the men forgot about her by now.

Something in her heart told her that won’t be an option. There was something inside her that wouldn’t rest, forcing her to busy herself as much as she did. It’s as if something isn’t right in the world and she picked up on it without being aware of it.

But when the knob turned and she whipped around to see who’s at the door, she never expected her gut feeling to be right.

At least a dozen men rushed inside, all of them shouting and none of them with their hands clean. Her eyes widened, searching for the one her heart’s tail wagged for, finding him at the very end of the unknown crowd. His left arm thrown over Ethan’s shoulder, his right hand clutching to his side, his face pale and his mouth set in a firm line, barely standing at all – that’s the image she found waiting for her.

“GRAYSON!” She rushed toward him, her chair falling back from her abrupt movements.

Y/N pushed her way through the men, wrapping her arms around his torso, helping Ethan keep him on his feet.

Feeling a liquid before seeing it, Y/N already knew he’s injured.

“What the fuck happened?!” Her demanding voice stopped the men from speaking, none of them daring to speak but Ethan.

“He got stabbed.” Ethan fills her in, speaking through gritted teeth at the same time as Grayson turns his head toward Y/N, a faint smile playing on his lips.

“It’s fine. I’ll be okay, doll.” His voice is weak, but still so sure that it makes her shake her head vehemently, shaking with him in her arms.

“Stabbed! You got yourself stabbed!” The panic in her voice is palpable, her hand covering his wound on instinct.

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” Grayson chuckles, hissing when his men approach and push Y/N from his side in order to take him upstairs.

“The doc is on his way.” Another one announces, the men gathering around their boss and picking him up before making their way toward the bedroom.

“Ethan, how did this happen?” She turns to his brother who seems more pissed off than scared. She quickly rinses off the blood, not looking at it to stop herself from throwing up.

“The idiot killed someone important against my advice and now he’s paying the price.” Ethan ran a hand through his hair, still matted to his forehead from sweat.

“Who did he kill?” Y/N sits down, feeling her shaky legs could give out any moment now. This isn’t what she signed up for – not knowing if he’ll make it back to her at the end of the day or not. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. She’s still struggling to accept that part of him, unable to connect the dots between the person she’s seen behind the painted veil and the one he is whenever she’s not with him.

She can’t differentiate which Grayson is the real Grayson.

“Damien.” Ethan replies simply, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and taking a chug without grimacing at all. He must be used to the burn, she concludes.

“So, this is my fault.” She drops her gaze, feeling a river of tears coming in and no matter how badly she wanted to stop it, the dam broke and the waterfalls became unstoppable.

“It’s his. He could have roughed him up or something, but he sees red when you’re involved.” Ethan leaned against the counter, placing a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her and hopefully stop her from crying.

“He even made us let him walk in here on his own two feet, saying you’ll freak out if we carry him inside.” Ethan continues, making a small smile appear on her lips as she wiped the tears with the back of her hand.

“How am I supposed to do this?” She looked up, teary eyed and searched for answers in those brown eyes with hazel swirls that Ethan mirrored. She never thought she’d be a real life Betty Cooper who fell for Jughead Jones instead of a guy like Archie Andrews.

“Decide if it’s worth it. If you love him more than anything in this world – more than school, your friends, your own life…it’s worth it. If not, then walk away. It might be hard after last night –“ Ethan pauses, grimacing at the memory and Y/N blushes, realizing he must have heard them because neither of them tried to control their sounds.

“Will he be okay?” She licks her lips, the salty taste of tears not lost on her as she tries to clear her vision enough to properly see Grayson’s older brother.

“Yeah. Probably just stitches and a couple of weeks in bed. Hopefully you can keep him in there, because that stubborn ass will try and get back out there way too soon.” Ethan chuckles, both of them turning to the door once it opens and a man walks in. The man greets Ethan with a curt nod, moving past them and up the stairs.

“The doctor.” Ethan states, taking a hold of Y/N’s hand.

“And we’ll be watching something until it’s all done.” He pulls her with him, despite her resistance.

“But, I want to be there.” She whines, making him smile to himself. He knew she already made her decision, even if she didn’t.

“When the doc is done, we’ll see him. Until then, be prepared for days of heavy security around the house. When a leader of a gang is attacked, everyone’s on high alert.”

Hearing footsteps from all around, Y/N settled in Ethan’s side for the night. She watched the cartoon he put on without even knowing what’s happening on the screen, her mind with Grayson and the last words she said to him in the morning.

She urged him to stay safe, unaware just how badly he needed to hear that.

It’s like going through the motions, unable to focus on more than one task at a time and her brain opted on focusing on Grayson and what he went through for her sake. He killed for her, hurt people for her…Is that his idea of commitment? Is killing in someone’s name a way to say I love you in his world?

She shuddered with the thought, feeling a light tap on her left shoulder.

“C’mon. The doctor wants to talk to us.” Ethan’s face is softer than before, reassuring and understanding. He knows this is all too much for Y/N, but he appreciates how hard she’s working to pull it together. She’s in a state of shock of some sorts, but he knew seeing Grayson would make her feel better.

“He’s got a deep wound in his side, thankfully mostly muscle injury. Whoever did this was clearly derailed by him and missed all vital organs. He’s lost blood, but I put one bag up and he’s already looking better. Stitches come off in two weeks’ time, no strenuous activity until then. Make him rest up, take his antibiotics and painkillers on time and that’s all. Anything happens, take him to my clinic.”

Y/N nods faintly, her eyes darting over the doctor’s shoulder to take a peek at Grayson, unsuccessfully. She already knew the basics, she’s a damn pre-med for God’s sake. She just wanted to see her man.

“Can I see him now?” She interrupts, impatient and already moving aside to get into the room.

A couple of men are stationed inside, eyeing Y/N suspiciously until Ethan steps inside.

“Leave. He’s safe with us. You know your stations.” With that, the room empties, leaving the three alone in silence.

Y/N shuffles closer to Grayson, seeing he’s laid in the middle of the bed with his eyes closed shut and his mouth is no longer gaping with painful grunts leaving them. His hair sticks to his forehead, his middle wrapped in a bandage, a drip still going to get him some fluids. He looked frail, unlike anything she knew him be. It’s the last word in the dictionary she’d ever use to describe him.

Careful, she sits on the bed by his side, her shaky fingers dipping into his open hand.

“He’s probably hopped up on painkillers.” Ethan sighs, sitting on the bed as well.

“Probably be out till tomorrow.” He adds, helping Y/N breathe properly again. She didn’t like the silence, reminding her only the dead are silent. But she could see Grayson’s chest move, the light up and down that followed his every breath and every heartbeat. It’s all she can focus on.

“I don’t want to leave him.” Her small voice surprises Ethan, but he nods regardless. He didn’t expect anything else.

“I’ll be right across the hall, as usual.” He walked around the bed, pressing a kiss to her temple before walking out, leaving her alone with his brother. They needed to be together, he understood perfectly. Whether they knew it or not, there was no doubt in his mind he’d be calling her his sister one day.

Y/N laid on her side, her hand in his, their fingers intertwined. She fell asleep to the even rhythm of his breathing, her mind finally calm.

“Good morning, doll.” She hears him whisper, his voice hoarse and her eyes snap open at the sound.

“You’re awake!” She sits up, her heart pounding, her hands moving from his to inspect him properly, but not daring actually touch him.

“Sorry. Had a totally different plan on getting you into my bed last night, but this seemed like the only foolproof plan.” Grayson snickers, groaning right after as his hand shoots up to his wound.

“You’re an idiot.” She sighs, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Now you’re stuck in this bed for a couple of weeks and you’ve shortened my lifespan for at least ten years.” She accuses, pressing a second kiss on him. She couldn’t resist, needing the feel of his lips against hers.

“At least we can have some fun.” He raised an eyebrow, a cheeky smile on his lips that falls when she shakes her head.

“No strenuous activities. Doctor’s orders.” She informs him, pursing her lips and it’s taking everything inside him not to flip them over and claim them as his.

“I’m going to fire that man.” He slaps a hand over his face, dragging it down in disbelief.

“And I’m going to get you some food. And Ethan to help you handle the morning pee situation.” She shrugs off the blankets, getting up as his hand wraps around her right wrist.

“I’d enjoy someone else taking care of my morning wood situation much more.” He kinks his eyebrow, a cocky smile on his lips. She rolls her eyes at him, tugging her wrist back into her own possession.

“That counts as strenuous activity.” She gives him a small wink in return and blows a kiss his way.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Maybe you’ll be more careful about getting stabbed next time.” She giggles, leaving the room as he shouts after her.

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

Once she returned with his pills in hand, she felt as if she’s caring for a child.

“I don’t wanna.” He whined, closing his mouth shut right after. He barely had anything to eat and now she struggled with talking him into taking his medicine.

“How about we make a deal? Take these and I’ll reward you with a kiss?” She offered, making him smirk. He quickly lifted his head, pressing a small kiss to the left corner of her lips.

“I think I like my rewards in advance.”

Finally, he took his pills, only to plaster a second kiss to her bottom lip.

“And after.”

**

Y/N’s POV

Having him in bed truly helped me get to know him better. Grayson always seemed like a mystery to me, but now I had him right where I wanted him – trapped with me and after repeating the same questions at him for hours, he’d end up answering just to make me shut up.

A little tired, I laid my head on a pillow next to him, absentmindedly tracing the blue-green ink on his tattooed arms. I knew what each tattoo on the rest of his body meant, but these remained a puzzle.

“They’re waves.” He speaks, making me flinch at the sudden pierce of the silent veil that befell us.

“Waves?” I question, waiting for him to expand on his initial statement.

“Yeah. Everything in life comes and goes in waves. The good…the bad…it’s all perfectly balanced in one way or another. It always reminds me that it’s just a normal part of life, adding a new wave whenever something big happens. Blue for bad and green for good.” His answer leaves me deep in thought, but he puts a finger on my chin, lifting it gently to press a butterfly kiss on my nose.

His finger then travels down to his arm, pointing at a large green wave on his right forearm.

“This is the last one I got, about ten months ago.” I look up, lips parted and my heart stops for a moment.

Could it be?

“The same night I left a bar where a particularly beautiful and sassy woman reminded me I still have a heart.”

Not holding back, I quickly press my lips against his, moving my body atop his. Straddling him, the kiss breaks as he grunts and chuckles in pain and I realize I’ve accidentally pressed into his wound with my knee.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” I put a hand over my mouth, shaking my head as I try to figure out what the hell I was thinking. Maneuvering to move off him, he groans once more when my foot grazes the wound unintentionally.

“Oh, you evil woman!” He chuckles, still holding onto his side.

“You’ve made me horny and hurt me at the same time!”

All in all, I liked spending this time with him. It sucks he had to be injured in order for us to have heart to heart conversations every other day, but most of the time we spent together was simply enjoying each other’s company and discovering new traits we were unaware of.

He’s not cold like I used to believe. He’s not a bad guy or someone who inspires fear. He’s not even intimidating. I’ve come to see a heart of gold he’s been hiding for a long time. I’ve learned he’s goofy and spews lame jokes that make me laugh regardless how bad the punchline is. His feet are extremely ticklish and he gets chills whenever my lips come anywhere near his ears. He’s very creative and smart and he plays the keyboard so beautifully, that I’m in awe of this man. Every part of him is an adventure and I couldn’t get enough of him.

So, how did this man ever become a leader of a gang who kills mercilessly?

I get the sense that he’s become torn between being a good man and missing out on all the opportunities life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And I understand that. I do. I just wish I knew a way to get him out of it all. I’d give up everything and move on a deserted island if that’s what it took.

Because I…

I love him.

“Your mother said you have a heart of gold and a pure soul.” I smile, tracing circles on his chest in boredom. I liked being lazy with him, but I was slowly getting crazy from being cooped up with him and I’m sure so did he. The only true contact besides kissing we had was when he snuck up to me and slapped my ass, which became his favorite thing to do.

“My mother always sees the best in me. She’s partial. You should ask my sister Cameron. Bet she’d have an opinion!” He exclaims, making me smile. His lips press against my forehead and I sigh in content.

“She and Cameron moved to Europe when my dad died and well, I can’t blame them. It’s much safer for them. I wish you could see that too.” The heaviness in his voice makes me look up, furrowing my eyebrows. He’s staring down at me, a frown etched onto his beautiful face only highlighting a faint scar between his eyebrows. A scar his sister gave him as a kid despite my initial theory of it being a gang related injury.

“What are you talking about?” I ask sharply, not liking what he’s hinting at.

“I mean you’d be smart to get out of here. Leave and never look back. I’m not good for you.” His voice is even and calm, like he’s not talking about destroying us and the prospects of our future. Does he even want a future with me?

“I can decide what’s good for me just fine on my own.” I push myself up, sitting with my head turned away from him. In my mind, I’m aware he’s right. When does a story like ours ever end with a happily ever after? But another part of me ached at the possibility of never seeing him again. I don’t think I can leave him. Ever.

He’s ingrained in my very being at this point. I am consumed by him.

“Don’t be mad at me, doll. I’m just telling you the truth. I promised you that much.” His fingertips brush my spine, gently following the curvature down.

“Every voice in my head screams don’t…ever since we met. But I can’t deny my heart and run when I know I’m meant to be right where I am.” I sigh, turning to him.

“I know you feel differently, but I can’t help it. I’m in love with you Grayson Bailey Dolan and I can’t walk away from you.” I notice him stiffen with my professions, but I’m returning the favor of being honest. I can’t keep lying to myself nor him.

“People don’t write sonnets about being compatible, or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones. The kinds that are epic always take a toll on people and maybe that’s not us, but I want to find out. I have to or else I’ll go mad wondering what could have been if I had been just a little braver.” His eyes bore into mine, taking in all that I’ve said and I can tell it’s something unexpected for him, something he’s not used to. But he’s not running from me, is he?

I’m ignoring the fact he’s hurt and he can’t, but still.

“Don’t ever think you’re not brave. You’re the bravest woman I know. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here with me.” Grayson takes my hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing the palm of my hand before burying his face in it.

“Now, let’s sleep.” He pulled me into him, his arms around me and his chin atop my head.

“Goodnight.”

And that’s when I knew he isn’t the type that says those eight words, but shows them. This was his way of saying I love you.

**

It took us three weeks to get Grayson back into shape, walking was the only thing he could do, but I was proud nonetheless.

I had to explain to him why the no sex rule is so important time and time again, but once the doctor cleared him, we were back in that bed just as much if not more than before. I didn’t complain because his skill set is off the charts and getting lost in him is exactly what I needed to forget about missing my own graduation. Despite initial shyness, we’ve come to experiment and I’ve found he’s kinky, but I’m kinkier. He’s also discovered the back of my knees are sensitive and he used that to his advantage as well.

Grayson is insatiable, mind numbing and most importantly – mine. Has been for months.

“You graduated?!” He woke me up abruptly, damn near giving me a heart attack in the process.

“Good morning to you too, sunshine!” I grumble, rubbing the sleep out my eyes and squinting at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He softened, plopping on the bed and spreading out so his head fell on my lap and he got a pretty good look of my under chin as I yawned.

“Didn’t think it mattered. You wouldn’t let me go and you were shot. Plus, I still need to get into Columbia med school for it to mean anything.” I run my fingers through his unusually messy hair lazily, seeing his frown deepen.

“How would you like to go out with me tonight?” He barely got the question out before I jumped out and nearly took his head off in the process.

“Yes! Where?!” I clap my hands in excitement, pressing my clasped hands to my nose and lips.

“A place very special to me. I’ll have my team come and glam you up.”

And he did. While he stayed for the first part where it was spa treatment more than anything and joined me for it with Ethan to my utmost surprise, he had left the second they did any real work.

With a very sophisticated red dress with open back and a princess style hairdo, make-up that accentuated my features and lots of expensive jewelry he apparently insisted I wear, I was prepared to go on our first official date and actually see a place that wasn’t this house. The only outside I saw was his property and although it’s big and very pretty, it gets boring after a time. And six months is a long time!

Grayson waited for me outside, his eyes widening once he saw me, freezing in his spot. I avert my eyes shyly, pressing my lips together. If I were to look up my eyes will lock in sinful magnetism with his. Speaking to me, telling me things, suggesting things....he had simple eyes, nothing extraordinary to the naked eye, just the fact that they were so expressive...so honest...wrongly speaking out what his heart was trying to hide...love.

Finally looking up, I see he’s still frozen in his spot.

“Oh my God, at least act like you haven’t spent half a year seeing me without make up and in your old clothes.” I shake my head at him, watching a wide smile take hold of his handsome face.

“You’re always gorgeous doll, but tonight you’re a goddess.” He takes my right hand in his left, using his right one to cup my face and connect our lips for a moment.

Once I open my eyes, I feel my heart jump at the sight.

Behind Grayson is my Impala, completely restored and functioning.

“You fixed my car.” I say quietly, breathless. I could barely form any words before I threw my arms around him and pressed a kiss under his ear. It’s the most precious gift he could have given me.

Grayson took us to an undisclosed location, leaving my Impala for the night because I had no clue where we were going.

Finally stopping at a hotel, I look at him puzzled and he just chuckles.

“You’ll see.”

Arms hooked together, we walk inside and I soon realize this is one of his hotels. The people around seem frightened of him, looking like the devil himself just walked in. But I also see respect behind that fear, meaning he treats them well.

“Is everything in place, Rinaldo?” He asks the concierge and with a confirmation, we move back and leave the hotel.

I gasp, seeing the beautiful garden with fairy lights and flowers of all kinds, roses at each side of the path leading to a table with candles and a killer view of the city. Grayson takes a red rose from the nearest bush, already clipped and I know he’s planned all of this to the last detail.

“A rose for a rose.” His cheesy line makes me smile, bringing the flower to my nose. Inhaling the scent, I close my eyes and let a faint ‘mhm’ escape my lips, walking with my eyes closed to take in all the smells because I trust Grayson not to let me fall.

We take a seat, Grayson being a gentlemen and pulling out my chair and helping me.

“This is incredible, Gray. Thank you so much.” I place a hand over my chest, a little overwhelmed with all the love I could feel from him this evening. He still hasn’t said it, but I know he feels it. I know he does.

“Anything for my girl.”

Melting at the sound of that, we spent the night eating and joking around, drowning in his compliments.

“So why is this a private area? Why not let your guests in?” I question, wiping my mouth as I set down my spoon.

“It’s something too heavy for tonight, doll. I want you to enjoy yourself.” He derails my question, but I shake my head and place my hand over his.

“Nothing you say to me would make this night any less magical.” He stops, looking at me for a minute in silence, deciding to let me in.

“It’s my place…the place I find shelter when everything goes to shit. It’s uh…a garden my dad started for my mother. He never finished it and I couldn’t leave it like that. He always said it’s a symbol of his love for our family. It’s also where he took his last breath and where we scattered the ashes. I was surprised to see he named me his successor over Ethan, but apparently Ethan told him he didn’t want to lead and Cameron absolutely refused to be a part of this life. It’s my place and now…I want you to know it’s yours too. I’ll let Rinaldo know he can let you in whenever you need to hide from the world and think – to find yourself.”

I stood up, gently tugging at his sleeve to do the same and he didn’t waste time in standing in front of me, letting me wrap my arms around his neck loosely.

“Take me home.” I say sweetly, the longing in my voice taking him by surprise, but he smiles back despite the pain this conversation brought him. He’s never talked about his dad before and this…this is the last brick of a very tall wall I’ve spent a year demolishing. He’s finally let me in entirely, no stone left unturned.

We barely got into the house before the kissing started, the tension growing on our drive back and we needed the release desperately so.

“We need to let Ethan know.” I whisper against his lips and kiss him again.

“Already texted him and my men. We’re alone in the house for the night.” He responds, picking me up and carrying me upstairs as my legs wrapped around his waist.

He looks at me, pulls me flush against his chest, lips on mine in seconds. My back arches and my hands come up to his face, eyes closing as I melt into his touch and it feels like home.

It’s a kiss, but it’s deeper than normal and it’s got both of our hearts thumping a mile a minute.

He pulls back, giving me a look and I have to remind myself to breathe. His eyes are gentle, still darker with lust but not hungry or needy. There’s no grin, just a sweet corner smile. His entire expression is soft and almost innocent, a stark contrast to the image he’s spent his entire life building.

“So beautiful.” He mumbles under his breath, but I catch the words with ease.

He sits back on the bed, letting me nestle in his lap. Gently dragging my knuckles down his right cheek, Grayson closes his eyes and sighs in relief. He’s a picture of perfection.

The moment ends and he opens his eyes, his lips kissing at my jaw. Surges of electricity jolt through my body as his lips trail to my neck and he nips at the skin before latching down. He sucks a bright purple mark to my skin, a symbol that in this moment, I am his and he is mine.

I trail my lips down to his neck, gaining a groan before I leave a mark of my own, a mark that just screams my name. Pushing Grayson’s shoulder, moving him flat on his back as I properly straddle him, our lips not disconnecting for a single second. My breathing is already ragged and strangled but I’m not focused on breathing. I am utterly lost in the moment of lust, something I’ve become very accustomed to.

Grayson’s hands slide under my dress, pulling it up and his hands are so warm, fitting to my sides like a perfect puzzle piece sliding into place. And his hands quickly move with a purpose, unzipping my dress, letting it fall over my shoulders before pulling it off and leaving me only in my underwear, nearly naked in his wake.

His hands trail up to my breasts, taking them in his hands and squeezing them over my bra until I finally disconnect our lips and sit up. Grayson gains that usual smirk he always gets and it sends another rush of heat through my body, head to toe. I match his smirk with a wink before reaching behind my back and unclasping my bra.

“Hey, not fair! I wanted to do that!” Grayson complained, making me chuckle.

“Better move faster next time.” I smile, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time, exposing his abs in all their glory. I help him shrug it off and before I can go back to my position, Grayson’s arm is wrapping around me and flipping me back over so he’s on top. I laugh and Grayson follows too, his head dipping into my neck before his eyes meet mine.

3rd Person POV

The laughing subsides and this feeling washes over him. Y/N? She’s incredible. She’s everything he cares about. The best moment of his life is the day she came into his bed that night and kissed him for the first time, trusting him to go the distance. But there’s something with the way her eyes meet his in the low light of their bedroom. There’s a new feeling here, one Grayson hasn’t felt before, one he wasn’t even sure actually existed. And it scares him so he breaks eye contact and connects his lips back to hers before sliding a hand between the two of them and sliding his hand into her underpants.

She moans as his fingers slide her underwear aside and start sliding through her folds, collecting her wetness. Her eyes shut while her hand reaches for the nape of his neck, tugging him closer to her as humanly possible. She moves her lips from his, kissing his cheek before she gets to his ear.

“Condom.” She whispers, voice completely drenched in lust and Grayson moves in seconds, reaching to his nightstand for a condom while she gets rid of the rest of her clothes. He’s glad she reminded him of protection, because in that moment all he could focus was getting lost in her and his mind wouldn’t even think of anything other than the way her lips part whenever he hits the right spots.

Grayson follows her lead and slides the condom on once his clothes have been tossed to the floor. He lines himself up with her core and he watches himself slowly disappear into her heat. He groans into her chest once he bottoms out, her jaw hanging slightly ajar with the full feeling and he gets to see the picture perfect face he finds as his greatest reward.

She runs a hand through his hair and Grayson picks his head up, eyes meeting hers and he’s scared at the flutter his heart does. He’s terrified of the way he gets goosebumps and the way he wants to kiss her like he’s never done before. For the first time, he’s scared of her, but he doesn’t let it show. He just stares back at her with heavy breaths and she pushes loose strands of curls back because she’s scared too, but in a different way.

She’s terrified of losing him for he made her happier than she’s ever been. In the last year he’s made her feel everything and she didn’t want that to be taken from her. Ever.

His lips are moving against hers, deepening every kiss and she’s letting herself melt into him and it’s so worth it. Every tear and ache of their hearts, it’s worth it.

His eyes are dark brown, darker than normal with lust and happiness and it’s got a way of making her stomach and heart just want to explode from the love she feels for him. Her skin tingles and a smile comes to her face, Grayson matching the same expression before kissing her lips sweetly and thrusting into her.

Y/N’s mouth hangs open as a gasp comes from her mouth, fingers digging into Grayson’s shoulders. Grayson kisses her cheek before moving back to her forehead, keeping his thrusts deliberate and steady, not focusing on getting off but just being in the moment with her. His hands reach for hers, interlocking their fingers and his thrusts increase.

Sheer layers of sweat soon cover their bodies and their hearts are racing with Grayson’s ever-growing sloppy thrusts as he starts to approach his high and she can feel she’s not far from her own and this is so much better than any other time the two had sex in the past.

They’ve been having sex for months now and every time it’s fun, exciting, good, it’s always been good but there’s something different about this sex. The sex that’s just the two of them, giggling when they knock teeth or quick pecks the other expects to be long and deep. It feels like there’s actually something passionate, a deeper connection there because there is.

Grayson’s hips rut against hers as they both moan out each other’s names, toes curling and nails digging each other’s hands as their highs hit. Gasps consume the room as she comes down and then there’s some quiet laughter from the two of them instead, Grayson kissing the very tip of her nose and her scrunching it in response.

Grayson rolls off her, walking into the bathroom to dispose of the used condom and clean himself, coming back with a wet towel to clean her off as well.

It’s become a routine for them, the aftercare always just as good as the sex. It’s intoxicating and liberating at the same time, being so open with each other and real about who they are.

So, with her head on his chest as he twirls loose curls of her hair, Grayson decides to speak one last truth of his own.

“I have a confession to make.” He kissed her forehead as she looks up at him, still feeling her heart beating wildly as is his under the palm of her hand.

“The Impala was ready even when you were still working at the bar. I was just scared you’d take it and we’d have no reason to be in contact anymore. I kind of needed those drive backs with you.” He pecked her nose and she gawked at him.

“You evil man.” She teases, slapping his chest playfully, using his own words against him and smiles.

“If you gave me my car back, I would have found a reason to spend time with you anyway. Been in love with you for a long time now, Gray.” With her reassuring words, the couple drifted off to sleep, completely unaware of what the future holds.

**

Y/N’s POV

A loud bang wakes me up, making me sit up in distress with a hand over my chest.

I look to Grayson in fright, finding he’s no longer by my side. Tapping the floor in the dark and finding only my underwear and Grayson’s shirt, I quickly put them on and peak through the door that’s left ajar. That loud sound didn’t sound like things breaking, it reminded me of the gunshot I last heard when Grayson killed Damien.

The fear is a weight on my ribs and a dull ache in my eyes, an unwillingness for my mouth to lift past neutral.

My heart isn’t resting tonight as it jumps to a speed of a professional racer, feeling my entire body tremble with the unknown danger lurking in the house.

I tiptoe to the stairwell, slowly descending once I notice Clevus, one of the guards is at the bottom of the stairs, eyes unmoving and blood pooling around him.

Covering my mouth to stop a whimper from escaping me, I feel the tears running forth and I stumble back to return to the room only to slip and fall. The blow in my lower back isn’t as bad as the fear that cages me when a man appears beside Clevus, a sinister smile on his lips as he starts to move toward me like a lion and I’m forced to get back up and run like his prey.

I run into our bedroom and into Grayson’s closet, wondering where he is…If Grayson is here at all.

I remember him saying something about keeping a gun somewhere in his room back when I first started living here, but I can’t remember where. I never wanted to know because I didn’t think I’ll need it.

I hear the door slam open, knowing I have barely a moment before they get to me, rummaging through draws of his ties and watches but to no avail. I push apart his suits, wondering how many suits can a man own before he stops getting new ones, but he has so many it makes me want to scream in frustration.

I can't breathe, feeling as if someone is choking me. My heart is racing and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save me. But no one will, no one is here. A choked cry for help forced itself up my throat, and I feel a drop run down my cheek. I hadn't volunteered for this, I'm not one of those brave people who relish in danger and crave leadership. But I did, didn’t I? I chose to stay…to love a man like Grayson Dolan.

“Hello.” I hear the low chuckle behind me, freezing in my spot as terror overtakes me. Adrenaline floods my system. It pumps and beats like it’s trying to escape. I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide with fear. The soulless came for a soul, the very thing they could never regain. They came to take innocence and feel the evil joy as they sunk into the filth of indifference.

I’m just grateful Grayson isn’t here to meet the same fate I’m expecting.

He grabs my arms and pulls me to him, caging me in as I trash against him. I kick and scream, pull and pinch, fighting with every fiber of my being. My arms get loose, allowing me to grab at the door, than at the stairwell and I can feel time slowing down as my own ticks down to the last minute of my life.

Kicking and screaming, this is how I go down. I hope Grayson knows I wouldn’t leave him if I had a choice.

I can taste saliva thickening in my throat and beads of sweat trickling down my brow. The man stops, knocking me into the wall at the bottom and I fall into the pool of Clevus’ blood in despair.

“You’re a pretty one, aren’t ya?” Another man steps into the hall and I feel my defiance outgrow my fear.

“You’re going to die for this! Grayson will kill you!” I shout, smirking as the man nods with his lips pursing. He takes a couple steps toward me, leaning down to almost face level.

“I have it on good authority that won’t be possible.” With a flick of his wrist his men move and I see them bring in an unconscious Grayson and throw him on the floor before my feet.

His left eyebrow is cut and bleeding profusely, his eyes closed and lips parted ever so slightly. He’s out cold, unaware of the world around him. But I’m not.

No. No. No. NO, NO!

“I should thank you. If you hadn’t softened this idiot, he’d never let his guard down and none of this would be possible.”

Oh God…this is all my fault. He let the guards have a night off and those who stayed were outside and easy targets.

“Take her out.” And before I have the time to let out a single tear, my vision blurs and everything goes dark.

Back to the present – 3rd Person POV

“Sorry darling. Nothing personal.” And then he pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened in the actual sense of the word, the gun being emptied out before it was handed to the star-crossed lovers. Yet, everything happened in that moment.

Y/N stood in her spot, shocked at what almost happened. She could have never pulled the trigger, not in her wildest dreams would she have harmed him. But he did. He pulled the trigger without so much as a blink of doubt.

“Oh, I guess I was wrong then! Only one of you love the other enough to die for them. Cold, Grayson. Even for you.” The stranger chuckled, taking the gun as his men grabbed a hold of Grayson and started to tie him back up.

He loaded the gun with a single bullet, turning it toward Y/N’s head once more, keeping eye contact with Grayson.

“I should ease her suffering. After all, she’s the reason my son is dead. She got away with little to no consequence, but that’s because I’m a good guy.” And that’s when Y/N realizes who this stranger is. He’s Damien’s father – the leader of Grayson’s rival gang. It’s the war Ethan warned Grayson about and she was so oblivious to it all.

“I just wanted to know where my son’s body is, but hey…I’ll take pleasure knowing you two got exactly what you deserved.”

Before the trigger is pulled, a mass of warm slaw plastered onto Y/N’s face and a guttural scream erupted from deep inside her chest once she noticed brain matter mixed with blood running down her skin.

She heard a blow after blow, looking around to see almost all of the enemies are dead or about to be and Grayson already on his feet, fighting actively.

Y/N wanted to be strong as Grayson once called her, to be epitome of powerful. But after the week of torture she endured – both mental and physical, she couldn’t keep up a picture of the woman she once was. She crumbled to the core, none of her walls remaining intact.

Legs giving out, she started her fall, but the darkness never came as a pair of arms held onto her and pushed her into the safety of an embrace. It wasn’t Grayson, she knew it by heart, but the scent was similar – Ethan’s.

“You’re okay. You’re okay.” He whispered over and over in her ear, running his gloved hand down her hair and he held her close, keeping her standing just by his own force. She got close to Ethan in the past year as they both loved to tease Grayson and enjoyed playing video games or even watching TV as their shows have become a religion, a way of life and the best bonding experience. Yet she never expected his arms would be the ones she’d fall into.

The fight around them stopped, continuing somewhere deep in the bunker they were held in, allowing the men inside to take a minute and breathe.

“Took you long enough, bro.” Grayson’s hoarse voice sounds before he spits at his captive’s dead body and moves to take Y/N in his arms.

“You try finding out a damn bomb shelter in the middle of the New Jersey woods!” Ethan exclaims, releasing the pressure he kept on Y/N who buried her face in his leather jacket and held onto him for dear life. Her entire body trembles, her choked sobs racking her body.

“Give her to me.” Grayson opens his arms, preparing to take her when she turns around and shakes her head.

“Ethan take me away from here, please.” She asks meekly, only tightening her hold on the older brother while the younger watched.

“Bro, what do I do?” Ethan asked Grayson, lost on what happened down there that’s so bad Y/N could barely look at his brother.

“Doll.” Grayson tries.

“Don’t! Don’t call me that ever again! Or anything at all for that matter!” She shouted, the force used tearing at her throat and the words alone would have hurt them both, but this broke them.

“Take her wherever she wants to go.” Grayson’s monotone, cold voice returns, swallowing thickly as he watches her disappear from his view. He knew the right thing to do.

Ethan put Y/N into his car, driving back home with a gnawing thought.

“What did he do?”

Y/N lift her head up from her shoulder, looking to Ethan.

“I understood when he refused to admit he knows me when they beat me. I understood when he didn’t even flinch when I cried. But I can never understand why he pulled the trigger after I failed to do the same. He would have killed me without a second thought. All for his gang…his only priority. I know now I have no place in his life. I just want to recover and get the hell away.” She grumbled, her head in her hands as her consciousness faded.

Ethan swallows thickly, looking at her in shock. He knew Grayson loved her, so whatever happened down there must have been taken out of context. His brother wouldn’t have risked her life like that for no reason.

Would he?

**

Days passes and Grayson never saw Y/N leave her room. She barely ate what the maids brought her, taking her water mostly for the pills.

The doctor told him she has a few cracked ribs, lots of bruises and cuts which would heal in time, but nothing permanent or life threatening. He too was healing, his body more black and blue than anything else. He had so many stitches on his body, he’s lost count. But all he cared about is the girl he had lost.

She checked her e-mail, finding Columbia offered her a scholarship – an anonymous donor decided to help her out and she finally found what she needed to pull herself together and face Grayson one last time.

She knocked on his door, holding her breath and he nearly lost his mind when she came inside.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, containing his excitement as his eyes looked her over.

Her face covered in bruises, drained and stripped of the usual smile she bore. Her body no longer had that extra meat on her bones he loved and she seemed frail…lost.

“I’m leaving.” She cleared her throat to stop the raspiness, pursing her lips.

“This house, this life…You.” She could feel the lump in her throat growing, making it harder to swallow.

“I have given you so many passes in the past.” She sighs, looking up at the ceiling as she leans back on the door to close it all the way and bites her lower lip.

“Too many…But you…you were willing to kill me…and to do what exactly?” She brought her eyes back to him, anger inside her bubbling when she saw him staring back at her. He doesn’t even bow his head in shame, no apologies, nothing. He’s just staring back at her and she hates him for it.

What she doesn’t know is that he’s staring because he knows once she walks out the door, she’ll be gone for good and he needs to remember her as she is now, to have something to live for.

“Why? Tell me some lame excuse, lie to me, anything! Justify it and I’ll believe you and I’ll stay!” Her voice raised in frustration, Y/N ran both her hands through her hair, shaking her head vehemently.

“Do you even love me?” Her voice broke, tears collecting in her eyes as she hoped he’s say anything.

“I promised never to lie to you. You should go.” Grayson spoke, no emotion passing on his face and Y/N shakes her head. He’s trying to convince himself he’s doing the right thing. Letting her go is the best thing for her.

“I’m such an idiot for thinking you might actually care for me. Grayson…You’re the bad guy, not the prince! And bad guys always get what’s coming to them! It might not have been this one, but someone will get you and you will remember me in those last moments of your life – remember me because this heartbreak you caused is the reason why you’ll be going straight to hell.” She turned around, walking out of his room, out of his house and out of his life.

Ethan rushed in, eyes wide and tears running down his cheek.

“What just happened? Why is she leaving us?” Ethan’s voice broke as his brother looked at him, reaching for a red rose that was behind him – the one he gave her that night in the garden.

“You will never know the depth of what I just lost.” Grayson choked out, crumbling the withering red rose in his hand.

**

Three months passed and while it was hard, Y/N finally lived her life. She found solace in school, loving every minute she spent studying. She lived on campus as it was provided to her by her anonymous donor and she even got a job! It was frustrating beyond belief to find pretty much anyone she met offered her a job after she told them her name, meaning Grayson must have pulled every string he had in the city to make sure she had somewhere to work should she want to.

It seemed she couldn’t get him out her life no matter how far she went.

She worked in a small café where the owners never heard of Grayson Dolan and DT Empire meant absolutely nothing to them and The house of the rising sun was just a song, ending her shift at ten every night. It was easier than she thought, moving on and letting go of the past. Until she went to sleep. His face is all she could see in her dreams. Haunting her, calling for her.

Until she started being haunted in the day as well.

“A coffee, please.” A familiar voice brought chills down her spine and she whipped around so fast she got dizzy.

“Ethan?” She whisper shouted, leaning toward him so no one hears her.

“Missed you. I’m sorry if this is inappropriate.” He apologized, giving her his puppy dog eyes and she sighs, pouring him a cup.

“If he sent you…” She trails off. She didn’t even know how he found her. She’s been keeping a low profile this entire time.

“I don’t want to know.” Shaking her head, she looks at the customers in case someone needs her.

“No, just a little worried about you. You kind of disappeared on us and I didn’t even get a goodbye.” A slightly accusing tone made her heart clench, but she couldn���t let him get to her.

“He’s miserable without you. Barely eats or sleeps….He’s reckless and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he’s killed. He even cancelled all his appearances.” Ethan pushed, continuously making her feel like she’ll either burst into tears or cry her eyes out.

“Not my problem anymore.” She states with a huff.

“You and I both know it is. You love him. I can tell.” Ethan tilts his head to the side, raising one eyebrow.

“Just…never mind.” He drops some money on the counter, much more than needed as his brother used to do before storming out, leaving his coffee untouched.

Y/N rubbed her forehead, finding a feeling of walls caving in on her becoming too real. She needed to think, to find some way to let go of Grayson because Ethan is right. He’s still in her veins.

Excusing herself early, she decided to go to one place she knew she’d feel close to him without actually seeing him.

She drove up to the hotel, passing by Rinaldo and walking into the secret garden. She brushed the roses with her fingertips, slowly walking up to the overlook with her heart in her throat.

It felt like that night he brought her here, the distant echo was still alive and frozen in time. Maybe this is what she needs, closure.

Sitting down crisscrossed, she rests her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, watching the city lights burn brighter as the darkness consumed the day.

A part of her felt almost peaceful, while the other raged on. It was a never ending battle inside her – one part of her loving him and the other hating him. Maybe that’s life.

Trusts are broken, lies are told. For us to believe in what we seek, we must know what it means to be what we don't want to be. Being sad makes you realize how valuable being happy is. Being weak makes you know what it means to be strong. Being helpless makes you determined to be helpful. Mistakes happen, awful things might happen in one's life. But her trust in him never wavered until he pulled the trigger.

She didn’t have nightmares about the man who hurt her. She had nightmares about the men she let into her heart who broke her.

“I knew the gun is empty.” A voice pricks her small bubble, making her turn around and nearly fall in the process.

“What?!” She looks at him, finding him dressed entirely in black, only a deep red shirt peering out of his suit. He’s watching her with a distant, wistful look, his eyes surrounded by dark circles and his face unshaven. His hair is disheveled and she can tell he hasn’t been taking care of himself. He is a mess.

“The gun doesn’t weight the same when it’s loaded and when it’s not. I’ve held enough of them to know the difference. Plus, no one sane would hand me a loaded gun in that situation.” He clears it up, his bottom lip quivering.

“I knew it could save you…after he said they’d let you go. I thought you’d be safe. You’d leave the bunker and I’d die with my heart and mind at peace.”

“Why didn’t you say this to me back at the house? Huh? You said being honest with each other is the very definition of l…friendship.” She threw his words back at him, narrowing her eyes and bawling her hands into fists.

“Love. Say it.” He matches her furrowed eyebrows, swallowing his pride.

“Stop it! Stop playing with my emotions!” Her desperate shout had made him flinch, his nostrils flare with a heavy exhale.

“I did what I thought was best for you at the time. So you wouldn’t pay for my mistakes anymore. I hate that you got caught in all of it, but that’s over now and I…I’m selfish and Rinaldo told me you came here and I…I hoped you were here for me. I just…”

“You took my right to choose. That’s what you did.” Y/N held back tears, everything she tried to hold against him crumbling now when he stood before her as broken as she is.

Shaking her head, she walked by him, entered the hotel and prepared to sit in the Impala when a hand on her arm swung her around and flush against his chest.

Another loud sound echoed in her ears, distant screams following and Grayson’s arms around her tightened as he jerked forward.

“We got him!” She heard some men yell, but that’s the last thing on her mind as her eyes connect with Grayson’s.

“Goodnight.” He whispered, the sound barely making a dent as her mind is racing and her heartbeat is deafening.

He falls back down, her arms unable to stop his collapse.

Y/N shakes him once, seeing his eyes are closed and his are shut.

“Wake up!” She grabbed him by the collar, violently shaking him.

“Wake up, you selfish son of a bitch!” Her voice breaks the self-imposed sternness, her fingers clutching the fabric of his suit.

“You promised me a forevermore! You promised me a fairytale!” The raspiness of her voice and the cracks are enough testimony for the break inside her chest.

“You’re the bad guy, not the prince! And bad guys always get what’s coming to them!”

The memory of her venomous words clouded her sanity, her hands trembling and her lips quivering.

“I was wrong.” She bowed her head down, a choked sob escapes her.

“You’re the prince. My prince. I was just so angry…and hurt!” The tears she couldn’t hold back fall in waterfalls, her head lowering until it’s on his chest. Her skin eyes closed in hopes of waking from this terrible nightmare.

“I love you.” She whispered into his chest, breaking down when he didn’t say it back. She thought she should be used to it by now, but this time was different.

Grayson always chose to say goodbye instead of 'I love you’ for that would mean falling and she was always afraid of heights. So goodbye and a kiss on her forehead seemed like a good way to go in his mind, letting her know she is in his heart without scaring them both with the daunting words.

Somewhere deep inside, she knew it too. She knew he loved her and feared saying it out loud for it would make her a target in his world and he couldn’t imagine something happening to her because of him.

“All this time I’ve blamed you. For pulling me into the dark. But I was wrong. It was me who brought out your dark side.” She broke down, none of her hate for him remaining. Love…hate, it was always a fine line to walk on.

“Is he?” Ethan fell to his knees, watching in shock. His gun falls beside him, no more strength to hold it in his hands.

“Oh, God!” Y/N punched his chest in despair, screaming with her whole body so loudly in her hurt. The scream came again, desperate, terrified... human.

“Guys?” A faint voice stopped Y/N’s wails, making her look at Grayson who just opened his eyes in confusion.

“You son of a bitch!” She slaps him, standing up with the back of her hand at her mouth as both guys let out a strong of ‘Hey’s!’

“What did our ma’ ever do to you?!” Ethan chuckles, wiping his own fake tear away before smacking his brother and helping him open his suit, showing the vest.

“Did you just fake your dead to hear me say all those things?!” She shouted at him, kicking a rock in her anger and he pressed his lips together to stop himself from admitting the truth.

“You made me watch Far and Away, had to use it eventually! And you said you do love me, so shut up and hear me out for one moment. Y/N, please!” Grayson stood up, motioning for Ethan to give them some space.

She reluctantly stops, crossing her arms over her chest and looks to him. Fourth time he pleads. All four times with her. He didn’t even plead for his life.

“I know your world would be much easier without me, that’s why I told you to leave.” Grayson steps closer, wetting his lips.

“But it wouldn’t be my world without you in it. You pushed me away when I needed you the most!” She averts her gaze, hating the vulnerability in her voice as he takes her hand in his, inspecting the chipped nail polish with a crooked smile.

“Look at me.” He’s not asking, rather demanding and she can feel the subtle difference just as she can feel his warm hand wrap around hers.

“Doll, look at me.” He uses the damn nickname, the very one that started the whole storm he brought into her life.

“I hate how weak you make me feel.” She states, looking into his eyes at last and he smiles, shaking his head.

“Whenever you think you feel weak, just remember you’re Y/N Y/L/N and I, Grayson Dolan absolutely love you with all my heart. You make me weak and I’m not ashamed to admit it.” He leaned down, trying not to look long at her as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.

Saying I love you is the bravest thing he has ever done in his life, for it took every ounce of strength and courage to openly expose his feelings to the love of his life. He knew he didn’t deserve her as she’s always been too good for him, but he swore he’d spend the rest of his life building himself up to be the kind of man she’d be proud of.

Hearing him say the words finally took her last bit of doubt and she jumped into his arms without holding back. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm. Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the world warmer somehow, her future within seeming a little less bleak.

“Say it again.” She whispers into his chest, getting a rumble in return as he chuckled.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He repeated over and over until she couldn’t take it any longer and her lips crashed onto his.

Soul meets soul on lover’s lips.

In the end, she was right… People don’t write sonnets about being compatible, or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones. The kinds that are epic always take a toll on both parties.

“You’re not off the hook though.” Y/N broke the kiss, needing air as her lungs began to burn.

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” Grayson smirked, brushing his nose against hers for an Eskimo kiss.

For now, all he wanted is to get her home and in his bed and just talk…Talk about what she’s been doing the past three months, every detail he has missed. He wondered if she realized he pulled strings and dropped her name in every corner of New York to get her a job when she left. He wonders if she’s figured out he’s the anonymous donor that got her into Columbia. If she hadn’t, he’d never speak of it. She deserved some good in her life and he was dedicated to make it happen for her.

“God gave me a good, beautiful woman and I have every intention on loving her well.”

With his rivals gone, he slowly pulled out of the illegal branches of his work and legitimized his business completely. He wanted a safer life for her and his family, one he hoped to start with her by his side. He changed without even realizing it and it’s all for her. It’s always been for her.

And although this is not where their story ends – wrapped in each other’s arms as they sit in her Impala, Y/N driving Grayson for the first time ever, this is where we leave them.

Every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away, every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music?

     * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tags: @fallinginlove-16 @godlydolans @accalialionheart @heyits-claire @xalayx

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Side To Side

Chapter 196: Dream-like State

Characters: Law Rating: Gen Warnings: Language Notes: ;)

~~~~~~

“Law!” Law snapped out of the daze he was in. He looked over to his father who had a worried expression on his face. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he said with a smile. “Just zoning out there for a moment.”

That was a lie. A huge lie. He hasn’t been okay in a few days. He’s been having nightmares and strange dreams nightly. He’s been seeing things...people as well. Maybe Lammy had been right, things were different. He was tired. He was eating less and less nutrient dense foods and more...greasy, unhealthy, fatty foods (that tasted amazing). He couldn’t figure out what his change in attitude was. Lammy was right, he was stressed from a stressful life.

It made sense. He worked a high-stress job. Weddings are stressful due to a multitude of reasons. Maybe he should take a couple vacation days. He had a good team. Penguin was a great head nurse, and Shachi would be very helpful as well.

Law restrained himself from shaking his head violently. Who the hell were Penguin and Shachi? Law pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Actually, no.”

“Law?”

“I think I need to take a couple vacation days. I’ll finish my shift today and then take a couple days off. Sorry, Dad.”

His father clapped him on the shoulder with a reassuring grin. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You work hard son. You became a doctor at a young age. You’ve worked hard your whole life. You deserve a break every now and then.”

Law relaxed and smiled. “Thanks.”

~~~~~

“Laaaw.”

Law cracked open his eyes. Ruby was grinning down at him. They were on the beach on an island they had stopped at and Law had decided to take a nice nap in the shade. His crew was laughing in the background throwing around a beach ball. Bepo was right next to him, trying to get out of the heat. Ruby was wearing her black one piece bathing suit.

“Why’d you wake me?” He yawned.

“Come pay attention to me.”

“You have Ikkaku to do that,” he groused. Ruby took his hand and quickly easily lifted him up to his feet. He stared at her annoyed, his brows starting to crease. She leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He sighed and locked her into a headlock.

“Ow! Law!”

“Don’t think you can get away with whatever you want because you kiss me.” He ruffled her hair.

“Law! My hair! I spent forever on it today!”

“Grow up.” He released her. He grinned obstinately.

She tried to control her hair. “You’re a dick.” He leaned in and pecked her on the lips. “Dickbag,” she muttered.

“Yes, I am. Get used to it you spoiled brat.” He lifted her up over his head. “You’re like a cat. Do I need to scruff you?” He started to smirk at her laughter.

“Law, come on!”

Law’s heart fluttered with her loud laughter. “I’m going to throw you in the water!”

“Nooooo!”

He loved her. He just loved her so much. He’ll never feel this way about another person.

He dropped her down and caught her in front of him. They grinned at each other before kissing.

“Love you,” they said at the same time.

Law blinked awake. He looked around his living room. He fell asleep on the couch. There was static coming through the radio and the curtains blew in the open window. He took a deep breath. He smelled onion and garlic. He sat up. He covered his face with his hand. Another dream about this “Ruby.”

“You’re up.” Law looked over to the kitchen entrance. Rose was standing there with a sweet smile. “You dozed off while listening to the radio. I decided to make us an early dinner.” She walked over and brushed hair away from his forehead. “Your father said you’ve been feeling tired at work lately.” She leaned in and kissed his forehead. “I’ll do whatever it takes to bring that smile back to your face!”

Law leaned in for a kiss, but hesitated. He felt guilty about doing it. It felt wrong.

Rose didn’t notice and kissed his lips. Guilt bubbled further up in his chest and he felt stupid. This was Rose! He’s been with her for...years. Years? What was he doing a year ago? He squinted.

“What were we doing last year?”

Rose blinked confused, cocking her head a little. “Well, around this time last year we went to that beach house! Remember? We laid on the beach under the stars, talking about our future!”

“Law, it's cold,” Ruby whined. “Why do we have to look at the stars outside and away from my blankets?”

“Would you shut up? I’m trying to be romantic.” He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

“Right, you didn’t want to be without your blanket.”

“What? No. Were you thinking of your sister? I was actually warm out there!” She laughed rather melodically.

“Ah. You’re right.” He stood up and hugged her. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be out for dinner.” He ruffled her hair.

Rose gave him a strange look. "Why’d you do that?”

“What?”

“...nothing,” she smiled. “Go ahead and shower.”

“Right.” Law said, already halfway to the bathroom.

~~~~~

Law sighed as he stepped out of the shower. It was steamy, he turned up the heat as if it would clear his head. He huffed. He pinched between his eyes and groaned.

“What is happening to me?” He muttered under his breath.

He walked up to the mirror and wiped the condensation off. His breath caught in his throat. He felt the color drain from his face.

Law stared at himself in his bathroom mirror, completely stunned. Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. Law ran his hand over his chest, a large tattoo smiling at him in the mirror. It was an old tattoo, you could barely feel the scarring anymore. And it wasn’t just his chest, his hands and arms were covered in tattoos.

What the hell was wrong with him? Visions and dreams and tattoos? He was constantly anxious and in a permanent state of irritation. He kept looking for people who didn’t exist.

Shachi, Penguin, Bepo, Ikkaku, Ruby….who else? There were 20 something people who were picking at his brain. Jean Bart, Jun, Clione, Cora-san.

Law shut his eyes tightly. His head hurt at that name. Cora-san. That sounded important, it sounded heartbreaking. Who was Cora-san? He thought hard. There was something there, tickling his mind. It was so familiar, so precious. It hurt his head to search for the meaning behind that name, but he pressed on.

He cracked his eyes open and saw his tattoo staring back at him. Law gasped. He stared wide-eyed in the mirror. He looked at his hands and then back to his reflection

Oh shit.

Where the hell was he? This wasn’t real. This wasn’t his life.

Where were his Heart Pirates? Where was his Polar Tang?

This has to be a dream. That woman on the beach had to have done it. Was his crew safe? Was he safe?

He backed up and started to look around him. This was his life? This is the life that he would’ve had. No crew? No Cora-san? No Ruby?

Ruby.

She’s definitely either fighting that woman or stuck in a dream as well. Law needed to wake up. Why was he still stuck when he knew who he was? He had to get to Ruby.

“Law?” Law bristled at his name. Rose walked into the bathroom with a concerned look on her face. “You look pale. What’s wrong?”

Law swallowed. This made up woman. The opposite of his Ruby. Ruby was crude, rude, and definitely wasn’t conservative. She was absolutely perfect the way she was and he hated himself for even being in this fake life with a fake fiancée. He wanted to see Ruby. “I need to get out of here.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I gotta go get my crew. They’re waiting. Ruby is waiting.” Law rushed past her. “How the fuck do I wake up?”

“Law you’re acting weirdly. Who is Ruby? Did you slip and hit your head?”

“Maybe if I kill myself I’ll wake up,” he muttered to himself amused.

“ What?!” Rose said startled. “Law please, listen to what you’re saying!”

“Shut up. I need to get out of this stupid bullshit. I need to-” Law shut his eyes in pain, holding his head in his hand. He’s waking up, he heard someone say. Wait, he knew that voice. That was Penguin! “Penguin!” He shouted.

“Law, please!” Rose cried.

Law stared down at her, unaffected by her cries. “Shut up, you pain in the ass.” He was so angry at himself for this fake relationship that he was definitely going to take it out on his fake fiancée.

He shut his eyes tight, trying to force himself to wake up.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Wake up!! Wake up!!

“God dammit, why can’t I wake up?!”

“Uh...”

“Um...”

Law opened his eyes. He was in the Tang’s clinic. Penguin and Shachi were staring at him. Law sat up. He brought his hand to his face and sighed.

“I’m awake.”

“So it seems,” Penguin said.

Law looked at him. “Is everyone okay?” Shachi and Penguin looked at each other.

“Well...yes,” Shachi said slowly. “Everyone is safe on the sub...except…”

Law swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I’m going to get her.” He stood up and swayed a little.

“Whoa, dude, you need to relax,” Shachi said as he and Penguin rushed over to stabilize him. “Ruby can take care of herself, you know that.”

“Don’t care,” he grunted. “There’s no reason for her to fight alone. Where’s Kikoku?” He looked around the room, spotting it against the wall by the door. Law looked back at them and sighed. “I’m glad I can see you both again.”

“Man how close to death were you?” Shachi tried to joke.

“Probably close,” Law shrugged. “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you when Ruby is back safely.”

“You’re still weak,” Penguin said. “You can barely stand. You look exhausted.”

“I am, but for all we know Ruby is in the same state, I’m going after her.”

“Do you even know where she is?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Law,” Penguin said his name, like he always did when things are serious. “You need to calm down and rest.”

Law stared at him for a moment. He closed his eyes. “Sorry about this.” Law opened a Room.

“Don’t you dare, Trafalgar Law, you son of a bi-”

Law shambled out of the clinic and onto the beach before Penguin could finish his sentence. Law picked Kikoku up from the ground, brushing it off. He rested it on his shoulder and started to rush into the forest. Stupid? Yes. Did he care? No.

He was going to find Ruby, no matter what.

[mageniskala]

SEVENTEEN: What’s coming on January

Merry meet and Namaste

Hello, Carats, how's going on today? I hope yall doing great. Today's topic is, "What is coming to Seventeen's member for whole January?" Let's get start it!

Seventeen's Tarot Reading, 02/01/2020 Deck: The Wildwood Tarot Topic: What's coming this month

.

1). S.coups - Six of Stones, Five of Stones, Ten of Arrows

S.coups will got so much on his shoulders for whole month. Likey, he gets all of this to pay even what he couldn't do during his hiatus. He thinks, that it is his debt and he must pay for all of this. I'm not saying that it comes from the company, no no no, it comes from hismself. He tends to think that since his hiatus, he counts his debt to his member. What debt exactly i'm talking about? Money? Hell, no! It is precious thing that money can't buy: TIME. Yeah, he makes himself having this debt. And for all this month, he wants to spend the time with his member.

2). Jeonghan - Eight of Arrows, The Seer, Two of Bows

I sense some illnesses' symptom: cold, dizziness/headache, low blood pressure. He will need many many loves and attentions from members and Carats, because he will really be in pain. He knows what best for him, but he just doesn't want to bother anyone anymore. He is about to go to see doctor, but don't know when. He keeps telling himself and others he's okay. In the end of the day, seeing the others start worrying about, he'll go to see doctor after all.

3). Joshua - Ten of Bows, The Shaman, Three of Vessels

The absence of S.coups and Jeonghan automatically brings him to act as Leader since he's the third older. He's trying to do his best with this responsibility. But likely, he can't act as one, because he feels reluctant to show his manner as leader. Inside his head, he want to do this and that, but he can't do as much as S.coups has done. He himself also doesn't want to force hismself as leader since he's actually  has no passion to lead. He just likes to help, but not lead in front of others. Other than that, he will be enjoying his role until the real leader ready to take over.

4). Jun - The Wheel, Nine of Vessels, Two of Arrows

I sense Jun is about to visit a foundation to donate. I'm not sure what kind of foundation, but I feel either an orphanage or a foundation that dedicates to people who get unfair treatment from society, people with mental illness, or handicapped people. This intention pure comes from his bottow of heart, not because someone asks him to. He belives that whatever he did will come back to him either as good karma or bad karma.

5). Hoshi - Six of Arrows, The Arcer, The Green Woman

Hoshi is in the stage of transition. He's going to face next level of his life. He already set a new target and leave whatever doesn't serve him anymore. He cultivates some new ideas and concepts, he's ready to fight for this 2020.

6). Wonwoo - Four of Stones, Four of Vessels, Knight of Vessels

Wonwoo gets bored easily. He's head full of plans to prank the boys just to release his boredom. He enjoys seeing the the boys suffered 'cause his pranks and tricks. Not all the boys get annoyed by his pranks, because when the others try to get revenge on him, there are four members precisly protect him and even join him to make other pranks. Guess who becomes Wonwoo's allies?

7). Woozi - Page of Arrows, Seven of Stones, Queen of Arrows

Eveyone knows, Woozi has been working so hard to deliver good musics for Carats and the world. He has pure heart that even can make him sacrifice himself for sake of others. He sacrificed his own personal desires. He's so selfless person. But, at some point he also can't handle it anymore. He needs healing himself. He plans to take healing trip by himself. Oh ya, he always keeps his eyes on Wonwoo, he doesn't want get into Wonwoo's prank for twice.

8). The8 - The Great Bear, The Moon on Water, The Stag

Just like Woozi, The8 too always keeps his eyes on Wonwoo and his allies. He restrains himself not to get revenge, he has no time for playing with kiddos. He stays inside his invisble dome. He just needs to stay out and watch out from Wonwoo and his evil pranks. The8's motto, be calm and be patient, "I am always the normal one". But in the end, reality tells different story. The8 starts get into the plays.

9). Mingyu - Three of Bows, King of Vessels, The Guardian

Mingyu makes new art projects, not for public, just himself. It is either photography or painting. It is the way he fulfills his passions and hobbies, as well as understanding himself more.

10). DK - Seven of Bows, Eight of Stones, Four of Bows

DK gets insomnia along this month, he uses this time to practice and practice. He does it secretly. In the end this month he gets caught by others for practicing by himself. There are four members that will ask him out and have fun to enjoy the night until they get tired.

11). Seungkwan - Ace of Vessels, The Ancestor, Nine of Arrows

Seungkwan will get new project and it'll be his new journey. He will dedicate on this like his life depend on it. He puts all ot of love, passion, and dedication to it, so that it will bring big result. Hail the king of variety show!

12). Vernon - Ace of Arrows, Three of Arrows, Ten of Vessels

This month, Vernon's life gets up and down. On third day of January, he will have bit jealousy, I can feel it's not with negative tedention. It's pure jealousy like when your bestfriend plays with other more than with you. He's good at hiding it like nothing is going on. But, seriously, it's really annoyed him. Then, by the tenth day of this month he's full of happiness. His happiness is overflowing so that he wants to share it with others. He trys to manage his mind and thougt. He feels jealousy because he thinks his bestfriend has abandoned him, whereas not true at all. So he changes the way he looks and thinks.

13). Dino - Three of Stones, The Forest Lovers, Six of Vessels

Creativity flows like fountain. Dino came up with ideas. Dino meets ideas, it's reunion, just like two of lovers get reunited by Universe. What comes after reunion? Indeed, creation! So he will create many contents of his Danceology. .

Maybe this reading sounds like fanfic, i'm not gonna deny it haha... But, whatever i wrote here is what i feel and sense during reading section. It can be either real or just fanfic. I hope you guys enjoy this reading. Love you!

[silviasutton1989]

T.T.K. Chapter 22 “Say Cheese/You?!”

oA/N: Wow it’s been a while huh? Well in about 4 minutes it will officially be my birthday. Goodness! I remember last year being so determined to finish this be my birthday (insert face palm emoji here lol) Just one quick thing about this chapter the reason it has 2 titles is because I put a bit of an insert from chapter 23 Again hank you all for your support and if you are reading The Guest I should have Ch. 9 up before Monday I also plan to update my Masterlist soon.

Rating: Mature Audience only please

Word Count: 2700+ It’s a read...get comfy lol

Summary: With Mick captured what answers will Olivia and Liam get can they live with what the find out?/ Has Olivia finally found Boss?

The king's sleep were  chancy these days. Since his father's murder the word "betrayal" never meant so much. Now it was like a bad taste in his mouth: static and tormenting. It wasn't until Liam followed his guards into Olivia's dungeon that his nightmares finally became reality.  The sight alone knocked him back a step. There lying on a slab in a dark room was a large man riddled in small cuts from shoulder to ankle. It was the man from the photo, one of the men from the attack and if Bastien's theory was right, the man she hired to kill him. Could Olivia really do this? Could she be this dark? Would it be him on this table next? Then one question he'd been asking himself every night before sleep eventually took him, could she hate him this much?

"Why is he still restrained?"

"We were waiting for you, Your Majesty." Bastien states "He is the Duchess' henchman after all."

"Ha! I'm what now?" Mick wanted to cackle but he thought better to play this right. 

"Are you willing to testify that Duchess Nevarkis hired you to assassinate me?"

"Red? Oh...oh  yeah! That bi-- Boss hired me. Just look at what she did to me after fouling up the job. Just let me go, please and I'll tell you all the things she paid me to do to you." 

"Your Majesty what are you doing?" Bastien cautions watching as his king struggles to unleash the hit man.

"If you all won't release him I will."

Mick tried his best to hide the grin growing.  He was never one to leave a job unfinished and mere breaths away, freeing him no less, was one of his biggest yet unfinished jobs to date.

"Can I touch your belly?" Hana asks her hand already hovering over Riley's stomach .

"Sure but we won't feel her kick till a couple more weeks."

"Her?!!! It's a girl?!!!!!!!!" Hana squeals.

"We don't know that." Drake sits next to them at the breakfast table handing his wife a small fruit plate."Riley here is just wishful thinking, and also setting herself up for disappointment when she finds out my son is in there."

"Oh so who's wishful thinking now?" Maxwell chuckles sitting next to him  "So how far along are you?"

"About 15 weeks. We have a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks to put this debate to rest."

"Well that's just in time for my soiree."

The friends at the table all turn to see Neville standing before them shifting  from one foot to the other."I just---I wanted to invite  you...all of you to my estate for my year end event." 

"Ummm...." someone mutters as the gang all look to each other in confusion.

"Ril--I mean Duke and Duchess Walker. I would like to formally and personally invite you." He hands black envelopes sealed with boar sigil stamp. "You could come and announce whether Cordonia's 1st member of our next generation of royals will be a duke or duchess." 

"You want to throw us a gender reveal?" Riley shakes her head in disbelief "What with the whole duel and--"

"Water under the bridge. Please come. I would like to make amends for how I've treated you...all of you." looking to them with humble eyes.

"Sure. We'll be there." averting from the seething look of her husband Riley focuses on the beaming smile of Neville as he heads to the next table.

"Sure?! Riley we are not going to that party. For as long as I've known that man he's never allowed me anywhere near Cormery Isle much less that party. It's probably a death trap."

"Drake's right." Maxwell chimes in.

"Thank you... Max." Drake's eyebrow raise in surprise.

"Yeah he's going to bore us to death!" Maxwell states opening the invitation to read it while Drake face palms "We'd have more fun spending New Year's in a broom closet. Neville usually only invites 1 st born royals you know those who are next in line to their family's title. He has NEVER invited me. Once I went thinking Bertrand's invitation was for me. BIGGEST mistake of my life. There wasn't even fireworks!"

"Look I hate to say this but Neville's right. This baby, boy or girl, will be the 1st of the next generation of royals and maybe that's why he's extending this olive branch. We can't be outcasts anymore Drake. We have to mingle with these people. We can't spend the rest of out lives cooped up in Valtoria."

Before Drake could argue  Olivia was hovering before them her voice loud enough to command the attention of everyone in the room. Although everything about her outwardly looked in place her eyes seemed to say something entirely different as if her mind was worlds away.

"Good morning I know you all enjoyed the brunch. Look. I want to take a group photo so if you all would just-"

"Seriously Olivia, you could have allowed us to prepare." Madeline takes out her compact mirror checking the bags under her eyes, Tariq who's sitting next to her does the exact same thing. 

"This isn't a cover shoot. I don't have time for ....just...." Olivia lets out a huff "Everyone get up and head over here...please."  This was the courteous she could be given the fact she's spent the entire night carving Mick up like a chicken only to get useless information on Boss. Finally it occurred to her Mick was well aware of what Boss looked like so she came up with the idea of getting a photo of all the royals. 

Everyone follows the duchess to a nearby staircase and  slowly begin to get in place, Olivia moving those who would be hidden.

"Neville you have to come down at least 5 steps."

"But there's only women down there." He mutters

"I don't care I cant see you. Get Down!" 

He reluctantly does, cringing with every snicker he hears deciding to leave the staircase entirely choosing instead to stand near the banister.

"Well since you are all here--except for King Liam, are we going to wait for him?"

"No his guards said he was indisposed.   All right everyone get ready!" 

Neville ignoring Olivia steps out to face the royals "I would like to invite you all to my soiree for New Yea--"

"Let me stop you right there. I'm sure I speak with everyone when I say hard pass Neville. I'd have more fun in a broom closet then at Cormery Isle."

"Hey I said that too!" Maxwell chuckles.

"Well-- well this will also be for our new Duke or Duchess of Voltaria it will be a...a..."

"A gender reveal." Riley aides. 

"Yeah that." Neville looks off in frustration.

"The kid doesn't even have a gender yet and already you're making poor parenting choices." Olivia bites her bottom lip, vexed. It should not be this damn difficult to get a handful of people to stand still for 2 minutes. "I'll see if I can make it. Now quit moving...

"Wait don't forget to tel us when to say "cheese" so we will know to smile." Hana chides

"I don't care if you smile Just-"

"Well what kind of photo will that look like." Maxwell continues.

"1.2.3. Cheese . " Olivia quickly snaps the camera taking a quick look she sees that several men were not facing straight.

"Look. I'm only going to take this shot one more time. EVERYONE. Look this way or so help me I will gouge your eyes out with my stiletto, Got it?"

"Cheese!" everyone quickly responds.

The photo in her hand felt powerful, like an end to everything that has happened this year. Torturing Mick was cathartic in a since, Olivia had spent months being preoccupied with her mother's history and her own with the men in her life. Giving pain to someone helped release some of her own.

She's practically running through the large doors of the dungeon straight to the table where Mick was---gone.

Mick was gone. The table where he once lay stood there cold and empty. Olivia is frozen deciding that if she blinked hard enough he would still be there.

"Shit he got away!"

"No..he didn't" She jumps at the sight of Liam emerging from a dark corner of the room. "Olivia... we need to talk."

"Where is Mick? Where is he?" Olivia, hysteric and embarrassed, knew she should have came to Liam with Mick and the truth of what was going on but more than anything she wanted to figure it all out herself. To hand Boss to her king on a silver platter. To prove that neither of therm were their parents, or at least they didn't have to be. "He has to tell me who Boss is. Take me to him right now!"

"I can't do that." Liam turned away from her "I'm so sorry Liv. I'm so sorry I believed it was you behind all the attacks.

"Yeah...yeah I get it. My mom tried to kill your dad, your dad actually killed my mom. You'd be an idiot not to suspect me. But can we pause the apologies for just a moment someone in this photo is the actual Boss and Mick is the only person that can pick him out. So please wherever you have him just bring him back."

Liam didn't speak for a moment only staring away at the dark corner he entered from. 

"He's dead Olivia." the kings words slow but powerful, so much so Olivia didn't believe she heard him correctly. Liam went on explaining what happened but nothing registered, her eyes glued to her photo.

"Your Majesty I think you should consider letting the guardsman handle this."

"I think you should mind you own damn business."Mick fires at Bastien then quickly going back to his best performance of a pained man "Come on, Your Honor, let me go. I will tell you everything you didn't know about Red."

Liam's hand stayed on the latch of the restraint. He took a moment to actually look at the man laying below him.

"I'm such an idiot." Liam chuckles  " You think I don't know Liv?"

Mick nervously chuckles with the king shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah but she has a dark side...as you can see. The Bitch is crazy!"

"Never in a million years would Liv hire you. Even if she did want to kill me, the second you'd call her "Red" would be the second you would have been fired." Liam lets go of the restraint his smile wide and full of joy.

It was Mick's turn to laugh and he did it with ease, as if he wasn't still restrained to the table in a room filled with armed guards. "You know it took Red 2 seconds to look at me and know exactly what I was up to that night. You know she's the reason I didn't get to kill you when I had the chance. Didn't even get to make back into the room because Miss. Spitfire wouldn't settle down.  I knocked her ass unconscious at least 3 times that night."

Mick laughed on as Liam took a step back hanging onto every word breathing them in like knowledgeable fresh air. 

"Now I see why people want you dead. You're a horrible King! Just some some pathetic rich kid who gets to have other men--real men-- do your dirty work. The only person with some balls around here is Red. If your going to have them kill me get it over with I'm sick of looking at you!" 

Mick became frantic, the longer the men watched him in silence the more fear crept in. But they don't move, the guards stand their ground all waiting for their king to command them.

"Oh sir rest assured these men wont harm you unless I order them to. And I have no intention on doing that" Liam states rolling up his sleeves scaling through the torture devices Olivia had left behind."I always knew Olivia had a dark side...I wonder just how dark I can be."

"...one thing lead to another..he... he told me about he did to you...and I..." Liam raised both his hands to show Olivia "I just wanted him to shut up.  I...I didn't even realize what I had done until he stopped squirming in my hands eventually Bastien pulled me off of him. The guards took him away a while ago. I’ve been waiting here for you ever since.”

Olivia takes a long breath "I was going to solve this."

They grew quite again sitting in the dark room, but soon Liam starts to laugh.

"Is it crazy that I can't be upset by this? I mean yes we still don't know who's out to get me but..." He smiles brightly at the Duchess "I know who it isn't. And that means more to me than anything." 

"Finding out I'm not the one behind the attacks is better to you than actually finding the scum?"

Liam nods his head yes as Olivia raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah that's crazy."

Liam chortles pulling her into his arms not wasting a second to crash his lips onto hers. She could feel the kiss growing and took a step back to catch her breath.

"One of these people are actually out to kill you." She shakes the photo in his face trying her best to look serious knowing she was blushing. He takes a second to look at but then tosses it onto the barren table, cupping her face in his hands looking deep within a eyes.

" Yes but it wasn't you. I don't give a damn what miserable person has this vendetta out against me. Probably someone who has been unhappy for a long time and will be unhappy long after me because they have nothing. But I have you.

Liam held her in his arms once more and she let him breath her in. This Liam, this happy person she hadn't seen in months, or ever. 

Happy.

Someone who is unhappy. 

She looked to the photo next to her. This time actually looking at it. There in the photo were all the faces she had known pretty much her entire life. All of them looking towards the camera, all of them smiling  saying "cheese"...all of them but one.

Neville.

"Oh my God! We are fucking idiots! I know who Boss is!" 

"What? Who?"

"Are you going to Neville's New Year's Party?"

"No one goes to that...you'd have more fun in a broom closet."

"Yeah but this year I think Neville is planning something more than just fireworks."

                             2 and a half weeks later

He was watching her.

she hadn't thought about that fact until she was already deep within Neville's mansion The faint music from his from his party a noticeable reminder that she is no where near safety. But she follows on making sure to stay a good distance from the masked man.

He was watching her.

She hasn't thought to question how long. How long has he been in the dark corner staring at her. Her only thought when seeing that mask, when their eyes finally did meet was that this man was Boss, it had to be.

As he turns down towards another wing of the home Olivia braces herself  realizing the man knew she was fallowing him.

She could turn back around, run and get the guards..

No. 2 weeks of trying to convince Bastien Neville is Boss was enough. She needed proof and if it wasn't  Neville, Boss sure as hell was at this party and tonight would be the very last night she'd call this coward behind a mask that name. Olivia was getting damn sick of that name. 

The man quickly turns a corner and before the duchess trails behind she freezes. This is it. Once turning this corner she would face him. Breathing in deep her feet move before her mind. She edges around the corner taking in the full sight of him standing, waiting at the end of the hallway looking directly at her.

Hiding her gasp with a gulp she walks toward him forcing down ever fear that dared to creep upon her. "Who are you?" She asks.

Without hesitation he removes his mask and at the sight her heart stops. 

"You?!" is all she can muster as if his face knocked the wind out of her. 

 His words the final nail into her makeshift coffin.  "Hey, Cherry.".

Tagging: I tag randomly so if you would like to say tagged let me know if you never want to be tagged again let me know.

@walkerismychoice@darley1101@speedyoperarascalparty@mfackenthal@jadedpixiescribbles@boneandfur @andy-loves-corgis   @blackcatkita@missevabean@snyggflicka@stopforamoment@agent-bossypants@endlessly-searching-for-you@indiacater@tmarie82@umccall71@hopefulmoonobject@choices97@blubutterflyy@fluffy-marshmallow-heart@itsmychoicebih@kinkykingliam@blznbaby@viktoriapetit@alicars@butindeed@greyeyedsmile14@gingerjane15@barbaravalentino@mymandrake@choicesbyjade@drakesfianceee@confessionsofabrokegirl@drakelover78@drakewalkerrosenberg@grumpycommoner@drakewalkerfics@choicesteamdrake@choicesfanficlibrary@alesana45@thequeenchoices @pug-bitch@drakewalkerwhipped@drakewalker8@gardeningourmet@jovialyouthmusic@walkerduchess @the-whiskeywife @sirbeepsalot @debramcg1106

[ichigopanhpff]

BNHA Fic: Blink! Ch. 13

Read Ch. 12 | Masterlist

SPOILER ALERT: We’re now closing on the Hassaikai Arc.

Muffled voices could be heard shouting with a thumping rhythm of footsteps pounding on concrete. Her tongue had a metallic taste to it. Her body felt heavy like corroding iron in salty water.

“..—ink… B…—nk...”

Her eyes slowly fluttered open, her vision still blurry.

“Blink!” Uravity’s voice reacted and cleared up in her hearing. “You’re up!”

Blink squeezed her eyes shut and reopened them to refocus her irises. Letting out a soft breath and gasped, she laid still staring at the morning sky. Cautiously pulling herself back up, Uravity supported her back with steady hands.

“You shouldn’t move,” the brunette warned. “You’re injured.”

She looked down to see her bruised left arm was in makeshift sling with a splint. Blink audibly hissed upon feeling a sharp and numbing pain shoot up when she tried to move it. It felt like her shoulder was popped back in place while she was knocked out.

“You’re finally awake, ribbit,” Froppy hopped over with a worried look. “I tried my best to catch you when you fell, but…” Her sad eyes wandered over to her injured arm. “It was already like that by the time I did.”

“What did you do to it?” Uravity asked with worry.

“I… I don’t know,” Blink truthfully answered. The last thing she remembered was feeling a surge of adrenaline and power build up in her left arm and destroyed Chisaki’s monstrous arm before blacking out.

She asked the two girls to help her up, to which they obliged and supported her until she got her footing and balance back. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as Blink’s brain was trying to process the aftermath. Everyone around here were either evacuated with cuffs around their wrist or rushed out on gurneys to be treated at the hospital; she saw FatGum and Red Riot at a glance rushed out with IVs attached to them as they were placed into one of the ambulances to be treated. Both were passed out from exhaustion.

She shuffled her way from the girls and and found Chisaki restrained to a lone gurney. Glowering over him, he slowly regained consciousness.

“Do you know who I am?” she spoke softly, still feeling the scratchiness in her throat.

He looked at her with the eyes of a broken man.

“You look like him… Rennosuke.”

“I’m his daughter,” she coldly stated. “I’d say the despair you’re feeling from having your dreams crumble before you is a satisfying payback than seeing you dead.”

“You don’t want me dead?” he jested with a dry chuckle, as if he was daring her. 

“No,” she affirmed with a renewed sense of self in her eyes. “Not anymore.”

Local authorities and heroes pitched in to help with the aftermath of the battle. They assessed four houses were destroyed due to Chisaki’s Overhaul and three citizens had minor injuries. Were it not for Deku’s quick thinking in taking the fight up in the air, the collateral damage would’ve been much worse.

The heroes who were injured were taken to the hospital for treatment.

Kirishima had bruising and lacerations all over his body, but will make a speedy recovery; Amajiki had a huge facial injury but will heal up quickly without scarring. Fat Gum had numerous bone fractures but was fully alert and starving. Aizawa ended up with 10 stitches from his wound.

Thanks to Blink’s on the spot triage and the knife wound missing Rocklock’s internal organs, his injuries weren’t life threatening at all. The heroine herself had a few cuts and gashes at the side of her head and right rib, dark bruising around her neck, and a dislocated shoulder. The doctors said it would take about two weeks for a full recovery, but was able to be discharged.

Unfortunately, not everyone came out unscathed.

After helping Deku take down Overhaul with her quirk, Eri collapsed and ran an extremely high fever that placed her in quarantine for the time being.

Sir Nighteye’s injuries were far too severe to recover; not even Recovery Girl could do anything to help him and succumbed to it.

The next day, Ren and Midoriya decided to stop by the hospital to visit everyone; the former wanted to see Togata and be there for him, having lost his mentor. He must be sulking in his room.

“How’s your arm, Ren-senpai?” the freckled boy asked.

“Sore,” she grumbled and scratched her cast, pretending it’s her actual skin on her arm. “The dressing’s making it itchy. My mom’s gonna kill me with her nagging when she sees this on video call.”

“Ah, I know how that feels,” the boy chuckled out uneasily and rubbed the back of his head.

The two walked on in comfortable silence.

“Mido-kun…” Ren called, prompting the boy to turn around, only to be met with a gentle smile. “Thank you.”

“Eh? F-For what?” he stuttered out.

“You helped me take down Chisaki when I couldn’t…” She looked down with a bittersweet smile. “Honestly, I’m frustrated because I had to rely on your strength to do so.”

“It’s really nothing!” he replied and held his palms out at her in neutral. “I just wanted to save Eri and—”

“You gave me the justice I wanted. I’m in your debt.”

All he could do was stare at her bruised neck, thinking back to the moment she used herself as bait just so he could rescue Eri. Even though he did defeat Chisaki, he felt guilty being unable to help her. It was then he realized the limitations of what a single person could do on his own.

This is the heavy burden every hero carries.

With his thoughts beginning to spiral out of control again, a light peck on his cheek roused him back as he saw Ren’s face extremely close to his.

Midoriya was dumbfounded.

“Come along now. We don’t wanna be late,” she casually reminded him and trekked a few steps forward.

The green haired boy, however, couldn’t move and suddenly turned five shades of red, ready to collapse right then and there.

He got a kiss. On the cheek. From his senior.

Having calmed down a few minutes later, they entered the hospital with news reports all over the TV saying Chisaki was attacked en route to prison by the League of Villains and stole an important piece of evidence. The two saw Aizawa watching the report and quickly reassured Midoriya it wasn’t his fault before making his rounds.

Leaving their belongings with Recovery Girl, the two made their way to see Togata, despite Aizawa’s warnings. The two made their way over, with Ren stopping in her steps. Midoriya turned to see his senpai with a hanged head and slumped shoulders.

“You… go on ahead first,” she uttered out and leaned on the wall. “I… need a little time to collect myself.”

The boy quietly nodded and gave her a concerned look before going ahead.

She felt bad for lying to the first year; Ren really just wanted to talk with him alone. Gathering her emotions together, she saw All-Might strolling down from the other side of the hallway.

“It’s been a while, Uncle All-Might,” she greeted. “You’re looking well.”

“Oh, Ren-chan?!” the former number one hero excitedly replied. “You’ve gotten so big!”

The two exchanged hugs and he held her at arms length to get a better look at her. It was many years ago when he last saw her, when Dave was still his sidekick in California. He remembered her and Melissa were thick as thieves as children. And now here she was in front of him as a teenage hero in-training with eyes of a person who’s seen their fair share of trauma and tragedy.

“Last time I saw you, you were as tall as my calf,” the blond hero lightheartedly joked before turning serious with a soft voice. “How are you holding up? How’s your arm?”

“Dislocated but I’ll heal up fine.” She gave him a sad smile and looked down. “Emotionally and mentally, I’m... still processing everything.”

All-Might placed firm hands on her shoulders, drawing her eyes back up to his.

“It’s not easy, going through what you are right now. Every great hero before you have been where you are. But please know there are people here for you when you’re ready to talk about it, including me.”

The girl softly nodded as he drew her into a tight and comforting hug. She had to use every ounce of willpower to not cry on his shoulder. Instead, she quietly thanked him before releasing.

“I should go and find Eraser Head,” he finalized with a small smile. “Be well, Ren-chan. We’ll see each other soon.”

“You too, Uncle All-Might.”

After a beat longer, she saw Midoriya leave the room and swiftly entered after. She saw Togata smiling at her with a hint of sadness from his bed. Swallowing the weighty lump in her throat, she slowly marched up to him, ready to give him a piece of her mind for stupidly taking the bullet for someone who’d done so much harm. Ren balled her right fist up and shook with tears streaming down her face, unable to utter a single word.

All she could do was stumble in her last few steps before throwing her uninjured arm around his wide and muscular shoulders, sobbing.

The tears he couldn’t let out because Sir Nighteye told him to keep smiling no matter what.

Tears of defeat not knowing whether or not his quirk would come back.

The tears of anger knowing how damn hard he worked to get to where he was, only to give it up for a little girl.

Tears knowing he knew being a hero who was desperately saving someone meant sacrificing his dream.

And all he could do was return her embrace, knowing exactly how she felt.

Her pillar was gone.

–

The debrief and piles of paperwork from the raid continued even after the interns got back to school. Aizawa had one-on-one counseling with each of them to keep their mental health in check. Ren’s was particularly short considering her history; it was more like she had nothing left to say. Everything was blurry and numb to her at that point.

The raven haired man requested her to come to him if she wanted to talk and didn’t push her any more. The train ride back was in complete silence. By the time they made it back to the dorms, it was already nightfall. As much as Ren wanted to message Seri and Tomoe, she was far too exhausted to do anything and just wanted to sleep.

The five were greeted with the entire class of 1-A.

“We were all super worried!”

“Is everyone okay?”

“We saw everything on the news!”

“You bastards are always coming home after getting caught up in somethin’ serious!” Kaminari shouted with distress. “Just stop scaring us for once!”

As the barrage of uneasiness continued, Todoroki saw one individual in the back with un-styled rose-gold hair. Her face was decorated with bandages and puffy red eyes, her skin sallow and sickly. Outfitting an arm sling on her left, she looked completely disengaged and hollow. Ren looked like she was going to disappear if someone took their eyes off of her. From what he saw of the broadcast, the look she had on her face then was all too familiar to him: it was the exact same expression he had from the Sports Festival; full of icy rage and fury.

“Ren-senpai!” Hagakure called and ran into her in the form of a tight hug, jolting her mind halfway back. “You had it rough out there too!”

“All the cameras on TV could catch was you dashing up at the villain,” Sero said. “You were crazy fast and took out one of his arms like it was nothin’!”

“But when your body went limp after he caught you, I screamed my lungs out!” Ashido exclaimed. “I thought you were actually dead!”

Bakugou sitting on the couch also noticed his upperclassman and let out a soft sigh. Even not knowing her full story, the way she was fighting the villain was on a completely different level. The power she used on him was something she dug deep to let out. It was a power requiring necessary sacrifice.

“Yes, we were all worried about them, but let’s calm down!” Iida suddenly shouted. “We all saw what happened, but their hearts have also been worn down by everything that’s happened too. As their classmates, we should give them some space to relax.”

The commotion died down to reflect on Iida’s words. That was when Midoriya spoke up.

“Thanks, Iida but… I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

The freckled boy nodded to which the tall spectacled boy joined in on the worrying. As the group dispersed to the kitchen area with Midoriya, Kirishima, Uraraka and Asui, Todoroki made his way to Ren and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her desolate and weary eyes met with his troubled ones, another expression that all too recognizable.

All she could do was rest her forehead on his chest, feeling his heart beat calm her down through his sweater. His right hand naturally made its way up and rested it at the back of her head to comfort her, threading some of his fingers in her hair like his mom used to do with him.

Not wanting any more questions if someone saw them, Ren immediately got off. What they didn’t know was a certain spiky blond boy did.

“Good luck with your license exam class tomorrow,” her soft, hoarse voice said with a faint smile that never reached her eyes before turning in for the night. “Let me know how it goes.”

Even if everything felt normal with everyone in 1-A under the same roof again, certain individuals didn’t find sleep so easily. The mission played on repeat in their heads, the future uncertain.

Sure they rescued the little girl, but what will become of her?

Who would take care of her now?

And would her quirk act up again?

There were so many pieces up in the air and no one knew where it’ll land.

And then there’s the involvement of the League of Villains. Not that they know their true motives, but they were certain they stole the quirk-destroying bullets when they attacked Chisaki’s van. Not even the comfort of Ren’s bed could lull her to sleep after a day like this, despite how tired she felt.

All she could do was stare at was the box containing her past.

He was gone now. She got her closure.

So why did she feel so empty?

[addytheheartbreaker]

Blind Memory

Chapter 3: Something hopeful

The asylum can be creppy yet haunting for the moment you stayed this place for a very long time ago until your sanity will drop out and get used of it as you become one of them which is called insanity. By the echoing noises across the empty halls in the early morning, the door belongs to the Rabbit brothers that they stayed and slept for god knows 9 years. Joen peacefully sleeping his comfy bed after that long hours inside the Box for some reason was his attempt to escape by the psychiatrist and the guards with his outburst, he smiled at his sleep finally had his head rest from the horrific noises, bad odors from his inmates inside their solitary confinement who are in between his cell, lack of comfort of sleep because of his restrained jacket and laying at the rough floor and most of all his hunger.

He haven't been eaten any dinner after his attempt to escape for an hour which he deeply regretted for skipping his meal and not being with his brothers as such. He was in deep tiredness as he heard shouting from his ears causing him to wake up and hurt his eardrum to who ever woke him up this early morning.

Jason: WHITE!!! Wake up!

Leon: its time to wake up White.

Joen groan in annoyance, sit up from his bed slowly with the black rabbit's assistance to carry his body in sitting position and yawn tired, rubbing his eyes before he confronted his younger brothers.

Joen: *groan* Why do we have to wake up so early in the morning?

It is 6:30 am, that is the asylums daily routine to wake up early in the morning and the start of the day. Nothing much actually. The white rabbit lazily stands up from his bed and scratching his head, looking at his brothers together with their own stretches, Helios is still sleeping while Jacob tried to wake the big black and white rabbit besides Leon and Jason fixing their beds.

Leon: White, you should go take a shower first. I could smell you stinking out at your sleep while we snoozing at night.

In all honesty, the black rabbit isn't lying. The white rabbit did in fact smells horrible because of his sweat and tears during his solitary confinement time. Joen rolled his eyes, slowly leading his way to the opened metal door before giving a small fart to make the younger rabbit disgusted from his mischief action and giving the white rabbit a punch at the shoulder causing them to laugh together before he headed to the mens bathroom.

7 am they all went to the canteen where they all lined up in boredom. The Rabbit man felt his stomach growling loudly through his ears with a sigh in annoyance about the fact he haven't eaten for a long hours and he waited impatiently from the line of his inmates are getting their food trays. This place felt like a prison instead of a asylum because when he finally made it to the line, his tray was nothing but less food or anything that he likes. However his oldest brothers told the other 4 to force eat the food that they gave them in their trays because the lunch lady isn't really kind enough to give the patients what they really like or inmates isn't allowed to sneak inside the asylums kitchen to steal food. He hated about this and went to his brothers same table they hang out together.

Eating just a small portion of vegetables, meat and a single apple at the corner of his tray, to his brothers have different foods they get but the portion of their food is less like he had except his brother Jason who was a bowl of cereal and suger for some reason. Forcing himself to eat like he didn't mind because he likes food yet the asylum canteen is worse then the school canteen when he and his brothers are just young cotton balls.

They aren't allow to go back to their cells instead all the patients will either go to their own routine, some has a schedule for their therapy section. For Joen, he has one, he couldn't just skip to meet his same psychiatrist since the guards in this place is well secure and much stronger then him when he outburst his rage toward his psychiatrist or his attempt to escape out of struggle. As for his brothers, the brown rabbit is actually been to the same routine, Jacob did been to the Box multiple times but not mostly then Joen's. Helios has been restrained like Joen to prevent him to go crazy from the hallucinations that haunts him and often go to a room which they didn't know or explore that room, Leon however been out of reality at the same chair and table with yellow flower that he pluck it out making a huge mess while singing weirdly or doing scary pranks at patients, doctors, guards or anyone except for his brothers. Although his youngest brother Jason, the gray rabbit has been to the Box for just 2 or 3 times then the white rabbit and the brown rabbit.

They all had their own daily routine, the Rabbit's psychiatrist will be here soon and he had time to go any therapy section that is available. Two rooms that he enjoyed, one was the music room which is mostly what he and the 5 Rabbit brothers was most talented. He always be there to practice dancing his own dance moves with inspiration from his brothers, singing vocally and mostly writing his own song with his own head, he is a very intelligent rabbit man he is. Speaking of intelligent, the other room he always went were the puzzle room to test the patients intelligence. Books, puzzles experiments, and interesting education is just what Joen like the most. Being the smartest rabbit from his brothers, he likes to have a common everyday questions. He may be a mentally unstable rabbit man but he is still the most smartest one of the asylum.

Hours later, the speaker called his name echoing through the halls with Joen jolt his head with a twitch then sigh as he get off from his chair and left the room grumpily walking through his way to his favorite (hated) psychiatrist to her office. Hours later of argument talk to his psychiatrist, it is almost night time with his brothers going back to their cell to rest. Joen came in the room with just 3 of his brothers, he knew his brother Jason will always be the last one to came back to the room. The white rabbit take a deep breath before yawning by tiredness again due that he is still tired from the lack of full sleep. Before he could went to his bed, he heard something from the outside of the door through the halls.

Joen look back at the door window and take a peak at the window door to see what it is.

A sound of metal wheels squeaking, loud multiple foot steps walking through the empty hallow halls that some screaming and shouting at the distance, a quiet faint sobbing that sounds almost like a little girl crying. He look closely seeing the shadows of many people coming to pass his cell as the people revealed was doctors and nurses behind the new patient while one big guard carrying a type of stroller that has chains and a strapped little girl crying with her head down.

Walking almost pass his cell, the little girl has black, long hair in a messy pigtails and a white bandage around her face to cover her eyes when she raise her head and look at Joen's door with her wet face and a soaked bandage from her eyes as if she has been crying for hour. The Rabbit man could make out what she looks like behind the bandage covering her eyes and the people who carried a mysterious new patient girl carried her to her cell. Curiosity lead to some sort of feeling, that's what he felt when a new patient came to this place, he became pity from them if they are stuck in this place for a life how long will she last long.

Jason: White?

Joen heard his brother called him from behind and turn his head to see his brother.

Jason: its time to bed.

Joen: yeah Gray, I'll be on my bed for a moment.

He soon went to his bed with his hand rubbing into his face as he groan. He had a long day of a never ending boredom from the asylum. No fun or anything new for him to see, he still thinking about the amusement park he used to have along with the circus. Yup, he still missed his old times at the amusement park where he entertained, cheer, do magic tricks and things that he loves, food which he made and his favorites that he want to devoured for his greedy stomach after that long starvation when he is finally release and lastly..... He missed his time with his brothers together with a song they all make for the longest time as a family together in one house.

Unfortunately, the asylum has become his home too..... That he loves and hated so much. Joen loves to wear all white straightjacket that is so crazy which reminds him of his crazy ringmaster suit that doesn't fit him anymore. He likes to keep the straightjacket after he release him but if they doesn't allow him to keep it then he must make one for himself, actually he doesn't know how to draw his own straightjacket design that he likes, his time at the music room and the puzzle room where he boost up his talent in the highest level in the past 9 years and mostly that one friend who is now release 3 years ago.

However, what he hates is everything. Torture, restrainment, lack of proper food and sleep and the people who put him into the Box, the horrible smell, the disgusting inmates beside his Box, the noises that he wanted to block his ears and most of all loneliness. He hates being alone at the Box where he is unable to call for his brothers that he needed them the most from the intense mental breakdown for hours for christ sake!

He said goodnight to each of his brothers as they said goodnight in return before forcing them to swallow a single sleeping pill to knock them out to slumber. Joen was in deep sleep opening his eyes to his dreamscape nonetheless this isn't his....

Joen look around his dream and it felt something wrong about this dream. This dream isn't his, the dream revealed a location that he never went there at all. The place in his dream was some sort of school, a huge school and he is standing at the middle of a open spaces. He started walking around the huge school with strong curiosity and excitement, this may not be his school that he used to enrolled but this dream just told him to explore the place.

He went around, up and down, reading articles and some books can be found in classrooms, the calendar even wrote the same year and date, rooms he could look around, he teleported to return to where he had started, then lastly he is going to explore the huge stage outside the open space of the school where he just first standing. He look around the stage first then ended to the right side of the stage with stone stairs, he get into the first step of the stone stairs until he heard a soft humming song at the stage. He didn't look up until he step by step through the stairs then stop where he was going, there is someone at the stage seeing just right infront of him with her back showing, she looks familiar to him.

There is a girl in a white dress, black long hair in pigtails and there is a bandage around her but couldn't make out her face because he is behind her.

Joen: hello?

He said giving a stranger a small greeting to caught her attention. Did he saw this person before?

She flinch from behind that someone is here in this lonely place, she turn around slowly to meet the rabbit man behind her with her bandage covering her eyes. Joen was surprised to see the girl turn her face to him. This is the same girl he just saw at the halls, the new inmate.

To be continue.....

[scottmccallismyboi]

Le Morte D'Scott part 1

Warnings: description of injuries. Spoilers for season 5 episodes 10 and 11.

Description: my take on what should have gone down between Scott and Stiles after the events of 5x10

The elevator hummed as it ascended, dim lights doing little to illuminate the lone figure hunched against the wall. This figure, none other than Scott McCall, stared at the carpet. A notch of worry pulled his eyebrows together, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips.

What will I find when I get there? He grimaced. A tightness squeezed at his chest that had nothing to do with the blood stain spreading over his sternum.

The elevator bumped to a stop as it signaled its arrival, heavy doors gliding to the side to reveal a gloomy hospital hallway.

Scott clenched his jaw as he pushed away from the wall, a sharp intake of breath hitched in his throat; pain and exhaustion pulsing through every inch of his body.

At the end of the hall, a group of people were huddled on the other side of a pair of double doors. Stiles was among them, surrounded by doctors and nurses, melissa McCall included. Scott listened in on the conversation. A doctor was informing Stiles that there had been a complication with his dad.

Shit… Scott hung his head. This was the result of his stupid decision. This was all his fault. He trudged to the door of a room where a heart monitor could be heard and peered through the window. Mr. Stilinski was unconscious, hooked to all kinds of machines and medicines. Scott could smell that something wasn't right. The pungent, rancid odor of infection ravaged the room, the source clearly visible. Black veins traced their way across the sheriff's body and up the side of his neck. He couldn't look away, couldn't break his gaze from his carnage.

“Somebody needs to tell me what's happening to him!” Stiles demanded.

Melissa sighed. “We don't know.” She sounded so defeated, so worn and tired.

The double doors flew open, pounding the walls as Stiles barreled through them. Scott turned to look just in time for Stiles to claw at the front of his shirt and throw him against the wall. Bursts of light pulsed over his vision as Stiles then dragged him to the floor, beating his chest without restraint. Beating the injury that Scott had desperately tried to heal that morning, the injury that was still bleeding.

“Where were you?” Stiled demanded, “You trusted him. You believed him. Right? So where were you? WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!?” Despite his fury, Stiles noted the lack of fight on Scott’s part. The ease in which he had subdued the alpha.

A couple of nurses and security guards pulled Stiles up and away, holding his arms back to restrain him. A guard heaved Scott to his feet, a hand on his shoulder.

“Ok! All right, all right...” Stiles settled enough for the nurses to release him.

“Your dad's not the only one who got hurt.” Scott panted, trying desperately to stay upright.

Stiles almost laughed, an enraged apathy preventing him from really caring whether Scott was ok or not. Regardless of the red patch on his shirt. Regardless of how he was swaying. Regardless of how out of breath he seemed. No, Scott was a werewolf, injuries were the least of his worries.

“Oh, you'll heal.” He seethed.

Scott looked down at his chest and pulled the edges of his jacket together. Of course he would heal, this was nothing compared to what Stiles was dealing with. He was fine. But that wasn't what he meant.

“I'm not talking about me.”

Stiles stilled, dread settling sourly in his stomach. Scott turned and trudged to the elevator, and Melissa stepped around Stiles to catch up to her son. She put an arm around his waist, Stiles noticed, and Scott leaned into her.

Whatever, he'll be fine. He thought before following the McCalls.

The ride was spent in silence, the only sounds were those of Scott's labored breaths and Melissa's quiet comforts. When the door opened, Stiles waited for Scott to take the lead and settled in step behind. This was a particularly grimm floor of the hospital, one for individuals who were deemed stable, but not enough so that they could return home. Not an enjoyable place to spend one's time. Scott stopped at a closed door. Placing a hand on the frame to steady himself, he motioned for Stiles to enter. A despondent shadow fell over his face. Stiles didn't wait for him to elaborate, but shouldered his way in and swiped the curtains aside.

Mrs. Martin turned around, eyes wide with surprise. Eyes that were swollen and red-rimmed. Eyes that had let many tears fall. Stiles glanced from Mrs. Martin, and down to the bed against the wall. Lydia. Beautiful, genius, powerful Lydia. She was laid out on the bed, her head turned towards the window with eyes open and unseeing. His stomach recoiled, threatening to expel the little bit of food that he had managed to keep down. Theo had done this, he was sure of it. A pressure built in his head, a frustration that made him want throw things, rage against anyone and anything. Made him want to bring a reconing upon one werewolf in particular, a werewolf with a crooked jaw and a tendency to trust people he shouldn’t.

Stiles knew that Theo would have needed to use Lydia for her powers. If there were punctures from his talon, he could prove it.

Mrs. Martin shook with fury, pointing out the door. “No.” She shook her head. “No you don’t. You’re not coming in here. Get out!” Stiles held out his hand, desperate to get the words out. “Just wait, wait. I think I know who did this, ok? I just need to look at the back of her neck.”

“I know who did this. You. All of you! Get out!” She shoved Stiles back.

“Come on, please. You just gotta listen to me. You just gotta check the back-”

“Just get out!” She screamed.

“Just check the back of her-”

“Out!” She slammed the door as he retreated and covered her face in her hands. “Oh, god…” she whispered to herself.

Stiles stood just outside the door, resting against it for a moment. Scott was waiting for him, quiet as the grave. Hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched, he seemed so small and innocent. But that was far from the truth, Stiles pondered bitterly. Scott had the potential to cause massive damage, as he had already proved. The dead air hung between them, neither really knowing how to segue into anything resembling a conversation.

“Where’s Melissa?” Stiles asked finally, wiping his nose.

“She’s still working, she had some patients to see…” Scott trailed off. He looked so haggard. Whatever happened must have been bad if he still seemed so run-down. Stiles’ eyes were drawn to Scott’s chest, where the blood was peeking through his jacket.

“Scott…” He hesitated. Did he want to know? Yes, of course he did. “What happened?”

Scott sighed. What could he tell him? The truth? Yes, that would bode well. Stiles, I died. Liam tried to kill me, but then stopped at the last second. And then Theo showed up, and actually did kill me. This wound is from his claws when he practically gutted me. I was dead for fifteen goddamn minutes before my mom brought me back. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same. Oh, and Hayden is dead, too.

Maybe that would be fine. At least he would know. Maybe Stiles could even help him navigate this ever-changing universe they all traversed. He didn’t hold out hope for that, reconciliation seemed to be the last thing on Stiles’ mind.

Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with fatigue. The world tilted as he collapsed against the wall, his hand moving to his sodden shirt. Stiles was at his side in an instant, heart racing.

“Scott! Scotty! What’s wrong? What’s happening?!” He shook Scott’s shoulder slightly, not wanting to jar him.

Scott stared at Stiles, confused. His ears were ringing and he couldn’t hear what he was saying. He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep. He was cold, though. Cold and… wet? He glanced down as he unzipped his jacket. The whole front of his shirt was soaked through.

It was official, Stiles was panicking. Very rarely had he seen Scott like this, not for anything but the gravest traumas. He was an alpha, stronger than anyone else he had ever encountered… But he knew that Scott had a habit of brushing aside his physical health so that he didn’t worry those around him. Stupid jerk. He recalled one such occasion after a battle with the alpha pack. Scott had watched Derek fall to his presumed death, and, feeling responsible, he wouldn’t allow himself to heal. He told everyone he was fine right up to the time when Allison had been forced to stitch him up with Lydia's sewing kit. Stubborn asshole.  Maybe this was the same, maybe he really didn’t want to feel better. Stiles certainly didn’t mind if he was a little sore for a while after this…

Scott jerked forward, blood spattering the floor as he coughed. No, Stiles decided. This wasn’t what he wanted. He couldn’t sit here by himself and watch Scott struggle.

“Hold on, Scotty. I’m gonna go find your mom…” Scott peered at him through heavy eyelids. Stiles squeezed his shoulder before running down the hall, hands shaking. The anger was still there, of course. It burned through his veins and flared dangerously under the surface. But it was tame, for now. He could hold it back until Scott could take it.

Scott watched Stiles go, guilt and shame suffocating him. I failed you, he closed his eyes, leaning his head back. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t strong enough to save the person you love most. I’m sorry.

Every breath brought spears of agony that threatened to engulf him. He swallowed and tried to calm himself. He would heal. He was fine. He wasn’t allowed to be anything else. He was, after all, the alpha.

Was…

What pack did he have to be alpha of now? Liam had very nearly succeeded in killing him, he would never willingly come back. Who knew where Kira was and what she was doing. She was probably happier without having to deal with him anyway. Malia was off looking for the Desert Wolf, she didn’t need any of them anymore. And Stiles… His best friend in the world, his brother. Stiles would never forgive him. Scott’s actions had brought about the attack on Noah, and that was an unredeemable offense. One that Scott knew he would be paying for the rest of his life.

I deserve it. If only I had listened to Stiles...

Melissa knelt down beside her son and took his face in her hands. He stirred, startled by the contact. Another fit had him doubled over, his entire frame trembling. When he settled and fell against Stiles, a black ooze dripped from his lips.

“Oh, Scott…” Melissa rubbed a thumb over his cheek.