#(i love da2 to bits but the more you think about the story the worse it gets lmao my children all deserved so much better)

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

If nothing else, Dragon Age 2 is a story being told by Varric Tethras (pulp novelist, businessman, and self professed liar), while being interrogated by the Chantry secret police, while also trying to exonerate himself and the best friend he loves...

It could be true, some of it could be true, none of it could be true. Likely it is only half of the picture and the story and its players are Varric's Cassandra friendly version. There's room for so many interpretations of DA2 that I wonder how anyone comes to a single truth about the story and its characters at all?

Anyway, I've been thinking about a post that said taking a side strictly for or against Anders misses the point and I agree. However, I think because DA2 is too structuralist in its approach to the characters, players clung more to a humanistic reading of them. Ideally a story balances both but it didn't in DA2 and so the characters feel puppeted by a thesis that could be alienating at times. I mean, Anders isn't 'right' but he is more right then the story and the general response to his character allows him to be and so anyone with a grasp on the metaphors the DA mages represent, from religious and political persecution of queerness to authoritarian imprisonment, are going to see any attempt to justify the continued abuse of them as awful. They'll also cling harder to the character who represents resistance to *gestures at all that narrative mess*. Same with Fenris. Who is the bluntest fictional embodying of slavery ever. Right to the heart, really. Of course people cling to Fenris. Especially in an American story. (And then they pitted them against each other...)

As for characterization, though, they're assholes. I love them. I get them. I'd like them even if they were worse (and the criticism does tend to exaggerate how bad they are). They are in pain and have a lot of room for growth but they are assholes. Yet they're also flawless to me and that there's my point. The story didn't utilise them as it should, didn't think about them as much beyond being a blunt tool for the plot and so the players who felt the metaphors, who identified with their pain, plucked them away, filled them in, and shielded them from a narrative and public they felt misused or misunderstood them and by extension the people and issues they represent.

We're always saying here that representation is important but this is the reason why. This is the power it has and the pain it can cause when fumbled. This is why there was such a strongly divisive response to Anders— you had one side gleefully feeling justified killing him and all he represents and the other side feeling horror at how all he represents was handled and wanting to save him. This is why there's still Anders vs. Fenris drama years later despite them being mirrors, the story reduced them to being a mouthpiece for and against mages when the plot itself is about the rights of mages. It's a bit impossible to talk about the narrative of DA2 without talking about Anders and Fenris.

So I get it but on the other hand DA2 is a story being told under duress by an unreliable narrator. All the characters could be the way they are because Varric needs them to be in order to satisfy the magic fearing religious government. I think that could be a really interesting conversation to have too.

[poetryofyouth]

My thoughts about Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Spoiler free)

After 67.5 hours of playtime, I have finished the fourth Dragon Age game. Overall, I give it a solid 7/10.

I loved

The performance. I have a good gaming laptop, but it is still a laptop. Veilguard runs buttery-smooth, never had any lag or framerate drop or anything. Didn't have any annoying glitches, some very minor graphics bugs two or three times. I know this SHOULD be the bare minimum, but considering it has become the norm to launch games that are basically unplayable because of the number of glitches, this is something to point out!

The overall story, tone and writing. Yes, these were criticised by many people, but I don't think that the dialogue was that clunky, and I certainly did not think that the tone was "not dark enough". Genuinely, people saying the game was too lighthearted and not "dark fantasy" anymore must have played a different game than me.

The look of the environments. Inquisitions landscapes were beautiful, and Veilguard manages to top that in certain areas. Arlathan Forest is absolutely beautiful, and other places you get to explore are horrifyingly, disgustingly vile and haunting and terrifying.

The Character Creator. So many details and so many hairstyles!!! And GOOD, long hairstyles, too!!!

I liked

The Companions. Rook's interactions with the companions is different than in Origins and Inquisition, most similar to DA2. You can't just always come talk to them. But they interact with each other far more than in previous games!! And I am glad there isn't a party banter glitch like in Inquisition - the banter triggers early and often. No hourlong running around in dead silence! And I also liked all the companions as characters, a lot!

The voice acting. Again, I don't really get the complaints so many people seem to have over the voice acting. Really solid imo!

The Combat. I did NOT think I would ever say that. It took a long while to get used to it because I am simply not used to playing action combat games. I only played on Keeper difficulty (2nd easiest), but that was ideal for me to figure everything out. I played a duelist rogue, haven't tried other classes. And I appreciated the uncomplicated respeccing. Especially because I was really intimidated by the complicated look of the skill tree. For rook and the companions, you can respec any skill at any time, so you can play around and try what works best for you.

Exploring. The game is not open-world and I think it was a good choice. But the relatively small areas are packed full with treasures to find. There are little puzzles everywhere. I am a sucker for that kind of stuff. Love puzzles and riddles. Only not putting this under "loved" because it kind of messed with the pacing for me in certain quests. ("Someone's in mortal peril? Sure, hang on, lemme get that treasure chest first")

Certain lore revelations. No spoilers! But we learn some big stuff. I think this was done well for the most part.

I was fine with

The look of the Characters. I was VERY worried about that at first because in general I am not a big fan of the cartoonish artstyle. What was odd is that not all characters seem equally cartoonish? Emmrich seems much more cartoonish than Davril, for example. That is an inconsistency that I found quite annoying. In general, could have been better, could have been worse. I really miss the DA2 look of the Qunari. That Arishok... still thinking about him.

The romance. So I have only romanced Neve, and it was nice. I know other romances are different, they might give you a bit... more. Again, don't want to spoil anything but.... There could have been more.

Cameos/tie-in of established characters. I want to keep this spoiled-free so I won't go into specifics. It was nice meeting some of them again, some of them were.... NOT done right. Yeah I'll reblog this post with a few spoilery thoughts on that. This could have been done a LOT better.

I did not like

Lore inconsitencies. I don't mean major, story-relevant stuff here, just some minor details. It's expected that they will get some stuff wrong but.... ugh. still annoying!!!

The villains are very black-and-white. When I think of Dragon Age Villains, I think of complex characters like Zathrian, Loghain, even the Arishok or Prince Bhelen. Characters you can empathize with, feel sorry for, even side with. The game is very lacking in that kind of complexity.

Lack of impactful, difficult choices. In previous installments, I AGONIZED over so many choices. Harrowmont or Bhelen? Celine or Gaspard? Kill or spare the Architect? Choices I took a long time to think about, choices where the game (and other media) gives you little snippets of information, not enough that you know what the right choice is for sure, but you have a lot to think about and to consider. This does not exist in this game. At all.

Rook can't be evil. I know Rook needs to be the hero. But so did the Warden, Hawke and the Herald. I personally don't like playing the "bad guy". But I like having the choice! If you have the choice to sacrifice Feynriel to the Sloth Demon, it makes the decision to do the right think just so much more meaningful.

And Rook's dialogue options are quite flat, too. The game uses tone indicators like in DA2 and Inquisition, but the tone barely even differs. The joking/sarcastic replies are not that funny (purple Hawke i miss you you will always be famous). The "aggressive" replies are really not that aggressive. Overall, that makes Rook feel quite flat.

I am VERY unhappy with

Okay. Deep breaths. No spoilers. But this game has... issues. For a game that has been in developement for such a long time, there are many aspects that are just unfinished. The Lords of Fortune for example. The entire faction makes barely any sense.

Ignoring most of the worldstate choices... This has been discussed at length before the release, so no need to get into it. But I have always admired Bioware for how they managed to tie in choices from previous games - even if they were just "throwaway oneliners". That was what made the world of Thedas feel real. That's what made Dragon Age special.

The lack of conflict and how slavery in Tevinter is just glossed over. Okay hear me out. I do NOT want more fantasy racism because I think it is cool or whatever. But we're in Tevinter for big parts of the game!! The dreaded empire that everyone in southern Thedas is scared of, where slavery is normal and they do blood magic for fun. All that worldbuilding and the setup is just... basically ignored. The venatori are throwaway enemies just like in inquisition, the politics of Tevinter are almost entirely ignored. And that is, I think, where Veilguard fails to be a proper Dragon Age game. DA was always about mirroring real life conflicts, adressing themes of prejudice, war, racism, homophobia and mental illness directly or through metaphors. Making you think about morality, both your PC's morality and your own as a player and a person. This game... this game doesn't challenge any sort of believes you might have as a person in that way. This is, in my opinion, the biggest failure of the game. The critical look at the real world, through the lense of a dark fantasy game. And if a Dragon Age game is missing that, then it just... misses it's heart and it's soul. Unfortunately, glitches can be fixed but there is no way to patch this.

Final thoughts

Okay, back to a bit more positivity. I enjoyed the game. I really, really had a lot of fun. I screamed, I cried real tears, I felt for the companions and I laughed at the funny moments. Dragon Age: The Veilguard is a good game. Not perfect. And it is perfectly understandable to be critcal of it, unfortunately a lot of criticism gets lost in either "it's too woke" or people who clearly have not played past the first act.

But in general, I think both Dragon Age fans and newcomers will enjoy it and have a good time.

[explodingchantry]

There is something I've been thinking about that I want to mention in The Anders Essay, as I've been calling it - about how da2 specifically doesn't give you as much say in your companions' fate as you usually tend to expect.

Whilst Dao lets you make one of your companions king, or impregnate another, and whilst inquisition lets you turn either a companion or an advisor into the fucking pope, or decide whether or not a companion kills their entire company or gets exiled from their country.... Da2 doesn't give you quite as much of a choice.

You don't even get to truly choose your sibling's fate. It's only a choice if you know in advance what happens if you take them to the deep roads or not. What happens to them is a consequence of your actions, sure, but it isn't necessarily a "choice" in the way you would expect.

No matter what you do, Merrill will work on that eluvian using blood magic. Your decisions will only change how she feels about you and what happens with her clan. No matter what you do, Aveline will become captain of the guard. I'll admit I've never purposefully tried to ruin her thing with Donnic but I would be surprised if you can genuinely get them to not end up together.

The elephant in the room is that you can choose to give Fenris back to Danarius and you can choose to give Isabela to the Qunari. And I think it's.... Interesting.... How the two companions of color are the two that you can... Basically sell off......

But... Trying to... Ignore... That... As much as one can ignore the uh, very... Let's say misguided writing choices here - it's INTERESTING. like it is an overt decision to take this control away from you. And in my opinion, it's mostly a good thing.

Da2 faces a lot of backlash for restricting your agency and not really giving you a choice in the role you play. You can customize your Hawke but you will always remain a human with two siblings and a dead mage dad. Your mom will always die. Etc. And of course it does kind of suck, but it also really reinforces how personal da2 feels in a way. I don't know. That part is definitely biased on my part because I love da2 so much and love Hawke to bits lol

But either way - not giving you as much control over your entourage's fate does feel like a deliberate choice since it's much different from what you can do in the games that came both before and after da2. And honestly, it makes sense? I don't know, I'm always left feeling a bit strange when I realise how much control I have over characters whom I'm not playing in choice based rpgs like this. In truth it's basic ludonarrative dissonance: a way that the medium of video games actually hurts the realism and sometimes impact of a story. But da2 takes a very deliberate step in taking away your control in a way that works both to disempower you the way hawke would feel disempowered, but also to make your companions and the rest of the characters feel like their own people.

I'm thinking of it ofc because: no matter what you do, Anders will blow up that Chantry. And as much as I criticize bioware for a lot of their writing esp around Anders, I really, REALLY appreciate this. It was something he believed in, something he decided to do. And he did it because it made sense for his character, without any chance for you to talk him down from it because it's a choice HE made independently of you, because he's his own person and because his convictions are that strong. Da2 would be a worse game if you could talk Anders out of blowing up the chantry both because it would obviously remove its final act but also because it would immediately flatten and rob Anders' character and his agency.

And I think this also ties into why people do feel as betrayed as they do when Anders does it - we're used to having more control over our companion characters in choice based rpgs. If you were playing Bg3 and Astarion decided to ascend no matter what you did or said before, you would feel betrayed. Perhaps less if he always made his intentions clear AND never gave you the opportunity to talk him out of it. But still, you would feel betrayed BECAUSE you weren't given a choice. Because you're so used to having a choice.

I think in analysis of dragon age 2, more time should be given to this very specific decision bioware made, to take away your agency over characters who aren't yours (and obvs also the one who Is, supposedly, yours). I think it's a fascinating choice.

[godsgamefreak]

After 1354 saves and just over 60 hours, I finally finished my Dragon Age II re-play, the first of its kind since the game came out 13 years ago. I toyed with it for a bit longer, I know I bought the Mark of the Assassin DLC and I think I even finished it, but I barely remembered it. But not a single proper playthrough in 13 years.

In that time DA2 of course got ripped apart by the media for the glaring issues of developing a massive RPG in 16-18 months, like the re-used assets (particularly in dungeons) but I had remembered enjoying it well enough as I played. Though, I also had issues with a lot of the Companions at the time too.

After being quite soured in my playthrough of Inquisition a few years later, I had fully dropped the series, with little to no interest in anything it was doing (granted it wasn't a lot, with Veilguard only just recently being properly announced) outside of the animated series on Netflix which was neat. But with Veilguard around the corner, and over 10 years of life under my belt, I thought... why not give it another try, see what's different?

Turns out both not much and also a fair bit. The not much was how much I enjoyed it - while certain mechanics don't work the way I'd like or aren't communicated as well (I'm very sad I couldn't truly be a proper tank, since enemy threat was constantly all over the place) I still had FUN with it. Since I remembered being meh on a lot of the Companions, I made sure to keep a particular eye on them this time around and I came to realize I understood them all a lot more this time around.

Merrill held a conviction, though a dangerous one, and while commendable to hold to it despite understanding the dangers... was completely blind to so much more. A great comparison to Anders, who was so much WORSE than I remembered, finally coming to a head if you question him during his Act 3 companion quest. I literally had to get up out of my chair in anger when he tries to threaten your friendship over his cause ("trust me even though I lied to you" like fuck off man).

Fenris was still overly grumpy about so much, but the reasoning is still solid, and it was nice to see him loosen up a little here and there. Agreeing to drop the mage freedom topic with Isabela and deflecting with a game of "guess my undergarments colour" was wonderful. Speaking of Isabela, I'm definitely older and care less about her darker side than I did as a "young and pure paladin" of 20 years old. I even romanced her, due in part to a similarity to one of my wife's OC's. Her romance story ends so sweet too, and her story is quite interesting. I wish the game had more time to expand on both Fenris and Isabela's stories and personal growth.

Varric and Aveline are still great, I love how they individually check in on Hawke through the game. They feel like the closest friends you have, in that they check on you just as much as you check on them, with no other major goals taking up their time and attention. Though the Aveline vs Isabela lines feel like they get a little too catty, there was one scene of them laughing over a drink once that made me happy to see they could get along.

My biggest regret is that Bethany is so absent from Act 2 and most of Act 3, not even making an on-screen appearance over your mother's death - the quest of which still hits pretty hard, though I didn't fully realize it until afterwards.

All in all, it was wonderful to re-play it, re-experience it, and play it in its complete form start-to-finish, and did exactly what I hoped: re-ignited my desire to care about this dark fantasy world, and make me excited to play Inquisition again. This time with less faffing about, more paying attention, and spending more time with Companions (and other major characters). I barely remember what happened in the game, so it's almost like finishing a re-play of DA2 before the big new game comes out. I hope I really find something I missed in my first DAI playthrough that makes me love it after hating it for 10 years.

[hurlumerlu]

Extending the same level of courtesy: 9, 12 and 22 for dragon age

Sorry about the delay, I started to think about my answers and promptly went insane. Then the trailers for DA4 droped and despite having 150 grievances and 236 fears - or maybe because -I went insane some more. I did get a few somewhat coherent thoughts out, though !

9. worst part of canon

So I typed like half a LibreOffice page on why the way Inquisition deals with the mage/templar conflict was an incredible example of setting things up for almost no payoff, and then I went on a tangent about my frustrations with how Orlais in general is written, and then half another LibreOffice page on the fact that so much of canon is in supplementary material and how that does negatively impact my enjoyement of the games, with a long parenthesis on how Alistair being a half-elf makes the lore actively worse, all the while taking numerous breaks because I was not being normal about all of this and I wanted to be normal about all this, but clearly I cannot be normal, about any of this. Anyway, worst part of canon is still the use of the term Tranquil Solution in DA2. Pretty sure we already talked about that but it's just. It's so bad. Why.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Well, as you pointed out this fandom is big enough and discoursey enough for pretty much all characters to have their ardant defensers - which is actually a good thing I think. I also think that the nature of the games necessarily means that a playthrough can never cover every aspect of a character and that you might easily miss an interaction that could nuance or improve your opinion of them. Vivienne is kind, warm and extremely straightforward with her goals if you take the time to befriend her. I didn't like Blackwall in my first playthrough, and never brought him anywhere, but his romance turned out to be my favourite of all Inquisition. It's pretty obvious Fenris and Sebastian don't fear all mages if you have Bethany in your party. If you don't blame Aveline for your mother's death, she gives you a speech on grief that I personaly find deeply touching. Sten often approves having his views challenged. Oghren is not just a walking crude joke, if you try to view his character with just a bit more grace, etc. So rather than pick one character people should like more I'll just say that if someone ever replays the games, they should try to put aside everything that annoyed them about whichever character they dislike the most and spend some time interracting with them with fresh eyes. It's often worth it. (I did write a love letter to Aveline, though)

22. your favorite par of canon that everyone else ignores

DWARVEN SOCIETIES. okay, i'm exagerating a bit. Idk that it's my absolute favrite part, and I know the dwarven lore is enjoyed by at least 20 people worldwide. But the fandom as a whole does not seem to care about the dwarves, except to ask if Varric is fuckable (no judgement, I get it). But there is so much there! Their rigid cast system and conservatism that are fucking everyone up, their disconect from the fade/lack of dream (and yet they can be made to dream, as shown by a dwarven warden or inquisitor), how that helps them handling lyrium but only to a point, their especially high resistance to the taint because of their proximity with the Darkspawn, their proximity with the Darkspawn, THE LEGION OF THE DEAD, the paragons and the Stone, the Titans, Sandal? And surface dwarves are also deeply compelling. Cut from their roots, otherized by what everyone else around them insist on calling "their people". When Varric tells a story of his brother blowing up at him for breaking a plate and ends with something like "that plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him", does that get to no one else? just me?

Chose violence ask game (I did not particularly chose violence)

[zevranunderstander]

one thing abt bg3 and I don't know if I'm making sense here but I just can't get myself to really care about astarion and gale, because they're both just dragon age characters with less edge and intrigue to them

gale is the caring, bookish, very domestic and romantic, cat-loving, bisexual mage that anders from da2 is, and both their stories have them commit a thing they personally deem as unforgivable and end up in a very suicidal state for parts of their respective story. but where anders' story was probably the most defining arc of the whole franchise, gale's feels so safe and bland in comparison? we don't really see much of gale's story and character development on screen, we just see him struggle with the aftermath of his backstory, while dragon age 2 on the other hand had you watch anders' entire character development from a just-escaped self-centred mage, to a caring healer with revolutionary tendencies, to a person who has become so fed up with the political landscape that he blows up a church

like, dragon age actually asked real questions with anders' storyline, and genuinely sympathized with his reasons for committing an act of terrorism (I'm ignoring inquisition on purpose) and bg3 just feels like a very shallow copy of a trope of character?

and for some reason this irks me even worse, but astarion is just. zevran and fenris mashed together into The Most Marketable Romance Option. Astarion feels to me, like someone did market research on how to make the most well-beloved character. And funnily enough, whenever at least I see a poll on dragon age romances on here, zevran and fenris are ALWAYS the two top contenders, and their stories are similar, but still both really meaningfully deep to me in a way that I just *couldn't* connect with with astarion's storyline.

I don't mean to say that the game doesn't use these themes, but astarion is a vampire, because romancing vampires sells, and he is sassy and funny and bitchy, because that sells, and he is white (as opposed to fenris and zevran) because that is a lot safer and more marketable than him being a character of color. He is an elf, because romancing elves sells. I genuinely even believe that the reason astarion is a rogue is because zevran is a rogue and because rogues are 'sexy', just because I just don't think the class really fits him all that much and there could have been way more compelling classes he could have been (like a bard who's based on seduction, his backstory doesn't really explain why he's a rogue?). His plotline is so heavily overlapping with two really beloved dragon age characters, probably also because the story felt really safe and 'proven'.

And I do think that astarion's storyline stands on it's own, but it brings so little new stuff to the table. the idea to use vampirism as a stand-in for his oppression was cool, and that astarion's storyline interacts with other victims of his abuser (which zevran's and fenris' storylines didn't do very much) was really nice, and I did like the choice for the endings because astarion has both more agency than the other two characters but he also has worse choices. but that's kinda it? it just feels like astarion's plotline is a a bit more developed version of zevran's and fenris' plotlines?

zevran and fenris both have a former master hunting them, and explicitly were slaves before escaping and both struggle with the fear of "am I really free?", and the looming threat that their master is actually hunting them - and the group they just joined. and due to their life full of abuse (in both cases sexual abuse is at least implied) they have tremendous problems with intimacy and vulnerability. zevran's storyline EXPLICITLY is about how he had to use sex all of his life to survive and sees it as entirely transactional and you need to actually get to know him better to realise he's not sleeping with you because he likes you all that much, but because he *doesn't want you to fucking kill him* and sees this as a way to come across as more likeable and trustworthy. zevran is also entirely desensitized with the combination of sex and murder specifically, because he is an assassin, who used sex to survive. both have tattoos given to them to show that they are property, but fenris' tattoos are also magical inscriptions that are key to his master's power and his master would hunt him to the end of the world to get him back, because of the tattoos.

and this is just kind of a personal opinion, but astarion being a white character felt for these comparisons alone like chickening out and 'playing it safe'. there is no way in hell that the writers of bg3 were not aware of these two characters specifically, because, you know, dragon age is literally the biggest other franchise of their genre. and you cannot tell me that the way astarion is written was a total accident, because you do not by accident write a copy of two of the most well-beloved romances of the fantasy RPG genre. and baldur's gate 3 is kind of sparse about the companions' racial diversity in general, and then them copying over the blueprint to two characters of color and making their character white - the character they make the most content for and put on all the marketing - just feels so personally rude to me. especially because the only actual character of color they have on their roster has half of the content that astarion has, and generally seems like an "oops we forgot to add a character of color" character last minute addition, who wasn't even really part of the early access tests apparently

[maintitle]

Whenever I replay Mass Effect 3 I find myself thinking about my reaction to it at the time of release, like, a lot. Not in a negative way like most probably did, but in a self-questioning way, because I'm re-bathing myself in an experience that is both very meaningful and also confusing to this day.

I remember when ME3 came out, it was one of two games ever that I went to the midnight release of. This was right after I quite a really grueling factory job that actually had a huge hand in making my heart worse, but I say this mostly to make clear that this game was bought with the last bit of my money and it was going to be something that I put A LOT of my time into.

I was very offline while I played it. I think it's the last game I ever just got lost in and didn't come out for air for until I was done. When I started looking for peoples reactions, I was... I wouldn't say confused by the reaction, but confused by how viscerally people reacted. I remember going to bat to defend the game really, REALLY hard despite agreeing with most of what was said, if perhaps not the tone in which it was said.

It's important to note, I didn't do it out of blind loyalty to ME or Bioware or anything. I'd been very critical of DA2 (I know I know I'm sorry it was another time) a year before, so I wasn't opposed being critical.

Let me say; Ending bad. We all know it. Ending bad. Free DLC that they added to 'fix' the ending? Less bad, but bad. I'm actually not really here to talk about that though, and more here to talk about why I was SO viscerally defending the game at the time despite agreeing with the sentiment.

I want to say this first; I feel very strongly that the main game is as much a love letter to the series as the Crucible DLC was. Characters aren't forgotten, everyone gets a little time in the limelight, everything comes together and interacts with the plot very well. I think the vast majority of the returning characters are handled exceptionally well, and I do think that plays a part in my want to defend it. I firmly believe everything up to the very very end of the game is on par with previous games (except how the dialogue wheel is peeled back a lot and it uses a lot less companion cutscenes, that sucks.) and I do still feel that gets overlooked, although to a far lesser extent these days.

But I think the core of the reason I wanted to defend the game was because of how they made you feel the weight of the war. There is no part of the core experience of Mass Effect 3 that isn't heavy. Every second is filled with the grim weight of a losing war. Every side mission you do involves people losing everything or fleeing desperately. The Citadel is filled with horrified citizens and traumatized soldiers. Your companions face the visceral realization of what they could become at any time. Death happens on massive scales, you watch worlds burn, you witness close friends give their lives, you get a front row seat to the death of a child and it haunts you for the rest of the game.

It gets worse on a replay, too. You go to the Citadel, and you find the few uplifting stories you can, the ones that allow you to take a moment to breath... but knowing the rest of the game, you realize these people aren't out of the clear. You aid alien politicians and military officials only to find out their worlds burned a couple hours later. You listen to a family escape a burning colony only to arrive at a location that you later discover is a funneling system for creating and experimenting on Reapers. You hear a wonderful story about a human soldier and mother working through Asari government red tape in order to send her daughter safely to her grandparents on Thessia, and barely an hour or two after that Thessia is invaded. You bring the news of the death of an Asari woman's Krogan husband to her, and realize in the process that you introduced them to each other.

The thing Mass Effect 3 does exceptionally well is adding weight to conflict. There isn't a second of the CORE experience of the game that isn't accompanied by the horrors of war. And I think that's truly why I, admittedly foolishly, was so defensive of the game and it's detractors at the time. The common conception was that the war with the Reapers was handled poorly, and I disagree with that notion. It's only in it's final step it fails, in every other moment it pulls off an experience that truly makes you feel every second of the conflict.

[anneapocalypse]

Elaborating on my feelings about this post a little, particularly in the context of video of games with high replay value like Dragon Age (which may not have been what the op was talking about at all, but that's what was on my mind when I saw it)!

I definitely think a good game of this type should give you a complete and narratively satisfying experience if you play it through one way and never return to it. (I mean there are also games like Zero Escape where discovering every ending is part of the "complete" experience but that's not the kind of game we're talking about here.) You should be able to play a Dragon Age game once and enjoy it without feeling like you got an incomplete story, just like (in my opinion) you should be able to pick up the game and enjoy it without having seen other canon material that is by definition supplemental. (Whether these particular games succeed at the latter is another discussion for another post).

I love a book that rewards a re-read--Tamsyn Muir's Locked Tomb series really does this for me and I'm looking forward to re-reading them again before Alecto comes out, and I went back and checked and the OP even tagged Locked Tomb on that post which doesn't surprise me one bit. Because it's true! Going back and reading Gideon after you've read Harrow and understand more about both characters and know more about the world and have starting to pick up on the hints about the true nature of certain characters... it's a thrill! Not because the story was incomplete the first time or incomprehensible, but because now you have the additional context to see all the breadcrumbs the author was dropping in a new light and it's just so, so rewarding and so much fun.

And I also love games that give me high replay value not just because they're fun to play (and let's be real I am not starting my ninth run of DAO because I'm obsessed with the combat mechanics) but because every time I get to experience a slightly different story and see the world and the characters from different angles. There is so much more to experience that way than you can possibly get on one playthrough. (And that's good in this type of game! We want our choices to change the story.) In DA2 there are sides of characters you won't see if you've only taken the friendship route and never rivaled them. I've written before about the templar ending of DA2 and how it reveals things that the mage ending doesn't and yeah, it's a "bad" ending and not everyone wants to play it but it's still another story that has things to tell us about the world. (And I'd venture to say that sometimes, we don't necessarily realize we are talking from the basis of experiencing slightly different stories.)

I don't think a story should set out to confuse its audience (in general--there are instances where intentional misdirection serves a narrative purpose but that's a digression here) but I also enjoy the experience of playing a new game unspoiled and without walkthroughs the first time and letting the chips fall where they may, and maybe getting a "bad" outcome because I didn't fully get what a quest was about, because you only really get one shot at the Chaotic First Playthrough. Being confused because you're in a funhouse labyrinth but it's definitely leading you somewhere is different than being confused because the story doesn't make sense, you know? And that first playthrough isn't an incomplete story, it's just one of many different ways you can experience the game. There will be plenty of time after that to replay with more knowledge and build the perfect world state, or make it Worse, or just choose something different.

So yeah, a story should work on that first level, that single read or playthrough, in order to be successful, but my favorite ones are the ones that do give me a reason to come back, and either offer me a new experience or deepen the one I had before.

[queerloquial]

finished gold road yesterday. undecided on how i feel about it

positive:

Son Boy Fennorian. good to see him, good to get a little bit of backstory, the vampire vineyard quest was kinda interesting

very glad they waited this long to do the west weald bc the zone is Great. they've really gotten better at environment design over the last decade

hell yeah mizzik thunderboots, and he comes with a fun murder mystery!

the goblin quest! like yes, Please, let's start looking at the 'monster' races as people with their own cultures rather than just as creatures to mow through. would love to see similar things in the future for, say, the minotaurs, fauns, and giants. would *especially* like to see them + the goblins/goblin-kin as npcs able to speak for themselves

negative:

fuck off with beragon. eveli was fine in wrothgar, but every subsequent appearance has grated on me, and i find beragon even worse. he's not very bright during quests, but not even in a fun way, and he talks So Fucking Slow. when i do quests for the first time i Like to let the npcs talk rather than just click through as fast as i can read, but he got on my nerves after two minutes with how stilted and flat he is

would've actually liked to see more of the recollection and the alleged connection to the ayleids. for the most part, the ayleids are generally reduced down to "they enslaved humans, were over-the-top cruel, and worshiped daedra", so i'd have liked to explore what would come of a 'modern' attempt to re-establish ayleid culture. it seems like the whole thing was just 'nantharion was using a supposed genetic connection to strengthen his claim to a throne, but then we killed him and so now nobody gives a shit about the ayleids again'??

really not digging the way this story only makes full sense if you also bought and played necrom. the chapter + dlc model for telling a full story was one thing, that at least Kind Of made sense and made each year feel self-contained, but tying together two chapters is just outrageous

maybe i just haven't played past main quests in a while but ohhhh boy. can we fuck off with the hand-holding. can we stop forcing npc assistants on quests who are going to cast shitty abilities too late and infrequent to be useful (the only time Any npc was helpful was in the last fight vs ithelia, with leramil's circle that restores ultimate). i got So annoyed being told every five seconds to use the lamp/skein/abolisher. like, you have spent the entire chapter showing me how each mechanic works. i do not need to be reminded Use Your Special Portal Sword every time you present me with a very obvious Portal Specifically To Be Used With The Special Portal Sword. i know what the fuck to do. shut up beragon

torvesard taking ithelia's power at the end felt very "ea told bioware that da2 needed another boss battle so orsino suddenly becomes a villain". i did find his death at ithelia's hand to be kind of touching, the idea of devotion being a corrupting force is appealing to me, but eh. not executed all that well, imo

ithelia is defeated by. showing her a magic mirror that makes her feel bad about. being angry she was exiled, imprisoned, and forcibly forgotten for the crime of existing in a way that makes others uncomfortable. and so she feels guilty and suddenly accepts that she Really Is A Monster and Need to be shut away. yeah i'm not vibing with the subtext of this one, guys

y'know what, i think if it were up to me i'd have tied those two together somehow. deepen ithelia and torvesard's relationship, the forgotten deity and the follower so devoted and loyal he will break reality to get her back, make it more About the terrible things that can be done in the name of love and service. have his desperation to stop the protag be the thing that gets through to ithelia? fanaticism as opposed to I Exist Incorrectly And Must Be Punished For It

???:

i am probably not the target audience for scribing. i liked the quest series well enough, the concept of the luminaries and ulfsild's journey with magic were both Interesting, i just. don't give a shit about spellcrafting?? maybe it's just bc my intro to tes was skyrim and so i don't have, like, Fond Childhood Memories TM of creating bullshit custom spells in morrowind/oblivion and therefore no desire to see that variant of customization come to eso. idk. i like the new colors for existing skills, tho wish they could apply to class skills

after playing high rock and necrom, both of which had main and side quests focused on exploring the culture and identity of bretons/dunmer, it was a little... disappointing? to not get much of the same for imperials. i guess there were multiple quests featuring legionaries?? and then the vineyard quest??

i'm not entirely opposed to the introduction of a new daedric prince, or to toying with the concept of a multiverse, but i'm not sure they quite nailed either, especially since at the end you just. negate the entire thing. like now i just want to follow ithelia wherever she went and find out What Is A Prince Without Their Power. how does a being like her- whose entire existence Is magic, is predicated on power and the exertion thereof- fit into a supposed world *that has no magic and where she is devoid of her innate power*??

killing gadayn for five minutes. what was the point. i'd have given him more presence through the story so that his loss (*much* earlier than in canon) is actually noticeable beyond "leramil is sad for a little bit". tease the idea that ithelia could bring him back from another path, maybe, make the player have to ask, even for a moment, "can there be a way to keep her around, do we have to completely destroy/exile her?"

actually i wish they'd explored the Many Paths more just, in general. maybe have the player hop across alternate timelines to accomplish plot shit?

[danielnelsen]

finally playing dai!! first impressions:

playing on ultra quality graphics is very cool

characters are getting realistic to the point of entering the uncanny valley. choosing specific settings for my lips felt very strange

i leave footprints in the snow????????

you cant get it to pause when combat starts so im very overwhelmed

does your health regen over time??? i cant tell and it’s concerning me

whyy do you have to be so close to things to see that you can loot them, im gonna miss 90% of the loot in this game

I CAN JUMP

i am less stressed now that varric is here

i am more stressed now that cullen is here

you cant assign attributes anymore and im sad about it

you cant set custom tactics (i think) which is fine for my first playthrough, but im sad about it for future playthroughs when i know what im doing

the fact that missions have a timer means im gonna constantly be like “i’ll just play until the next one’s done” and i will never sleep again

i deeply miss the map in the corner. im gonna get so lost in this game rip.

maybe i just need some time to adjust, but i dont like how a lot of systems have been changed

a lot of this sounds very complain-y but i am enjoying it so far and look forward to really getting into the story and getting to know the characters!!!!!!!! and also getting to know my character. it’s interesting playing a qunari mage that’s considered to be essentially a prophet of the christianity-equivalent.

[dgcatanisiri]

So... something kinda hit me abruptly and pushed me to feeling about ready to snap, so... Have a word vomit. Kinda feels like a greatest hits compilation of  my “another angry queer rant” tag, but I need to get it out, so...

I know I’ve been over plenty about how I don’t feel represented even when I have something with gay representation. How I’d give dozens of Dorians and Iron Bulls to get even one run of Inquisition that properly has my male Inquisitor romance Cullen. How when I look at Mass Effect - this franchise that I love - I can only see how much it hates me for being a gay man who dares to seek content for me. How godawful it is that Gil’s story, a story that is explicitly a story centered on a gay man and the difficulties he faces BECAUSE of being gay, was written by a straight person who ABSOLUTELY does not GET. IT. And how fandom as an entity sucks, because so often it feels like the attitude of the people in it comes across as telling me that my desire to be represented in my media somehow comes in second to celebrating the advances solely for women, that my needs as a queer MAN (the emphasis usually theirs) are less important, because I can still see myself AS A MAN in other characters throughout media.

But... That doesn’t change the fact that this is a very real, very tangible THING for me to grapple with. And sometimes it feels like no one ever, EVER talks about this.

I mean, my go-to example is that after Inquisition dropped, you could not say A WORD in criticism of Dorian without people jumping down your throat, chomping at the bit to call you a homophobe for it. No matter what reason - but ESPECIALLY if you thought he was “too stereotypical” - you got hit with that label. Even if you were gay yourself, it was just your “internalized homophobia” that made you dislike him, or even being biased against the people who genuinely do lean in to the stereotypes, don’t they deserve representation too?!

Well, yeah. It’s not like I was saying they don’t. But that it’s a stereotype means it’s often still in media, still often THERE. It’s not always good representation, but it’s something. Meanwhile for those of us who AREN’T? It just meant further exclusion from the narratives. A continuation of our invisibility.

And sure, one queer character cannot represent every queer person, one individual who embodies one letter of the alphabet soup cannot be everything to everyone under that individual label. But, again, it still means that I don’t get to see myself.

If media representation is a life preserver, then I’m getting pulled out to sea while the lifeguards are busy with people who are closer to them than I am. Which, you can call it triage, cast the widest net to hope to get the most people, but when you’re one of those who are not even able to grab on to the net and use it to pull yourself closer, it’s not helping. And, because they’re focused on those who have grabbed on to the net, your struggle continues to be ignored.

Worse, sometimes they aren’t factoring you in the net they’re throwing (yes, I’m aware my metaphor is getting increasingly strained, just work with me here) because they think you’re not in the trouble they think others are - if you can “pass” as cishet, if you can exist without actively fearing for your safety, if you are the kind of person who can walk down the street and not expect to be harassed because you “present” gay, then you’re not as in need as those people who can’t, who are going to be threatened for existing while visibly queer.

But the truth is that you’re still suffering. I’m not gonna get in to the whole oppression Olympics nature of it all, but there is an element that those of us who “pass” as being “straight-acting” (and, for the record, I think these terms are bogus and bullshit, but I’m using them for the sake of simplicity in getting my message across, because I’m stream of consciousnessing this post instead of going to bed so you’re getting babble and word vomit so that this isn’t playing on a loop as I try and sleep) suffer that... I’m not going to say that it makes it worse, but it does have this level of SOMETHING that is a unique pain that you aren’t going to find from the people who are visibly and noticeably queer at a glance - it’s not just isolation, because this is something that you end up not talking about because no one around you realizes that you are queer, but also this voice in the back of your mind that starts questioning “are you REALLY queer? Are you queer ENOUGH?”

And that’s why it hurts that little bit more, is that much more a twist of the knife, when I see these people who push the “joke” of like “why did they even HAVE male Shepard?” or “the only way to play is as Kassandra.” Because it does reinforce this idea - that there is this attitude of this thing, this character that I was seeing as representation doesn’t matter. So that I take strength in that character, well, that’s just me latching on to REPRESENTATION AS A MAN, and we’re not here to protect your fragile masculine ego.

When all I’m looking for is a queer man like I am.

And sometimes, I don’t even feel like the other queer men I can look to get it. Like, there was that time about a year ago that I looked up issues of queer men in video games, and the three videos I found all got an “...and NOPE!” reaction from me - the first argued in math about how “queer people are a small portion of the population, we can’t realistically expect to be represented equally,” even though we’re talking about FICTION, which is, by definition, NOT reality, the second was clearly a cishet who compared not being represented as a queer person to not being represented as a Swedish person, and then a third who first had a thumbnail on a video of “good and bad representation” and Kaidan was the example of bad (so a negative mark against this video to begin with, but I was desperate), only to lead with Dorian as a good example, which... *vague motion above and at the “dorian critical” tag* I staunchly disagree with this stance.

Like... I have to struggle to think of who my role models in being a queer man are. It’s not just who fits my story, but who do I look up to, who inspires me. And, admittedly, the luster for any personal hero seems to inevitable wear off at this point, I’m in my early thirties, and most of the media I consume will have characters who are my age or younger PERIOD, so my queer heroes would have to be people I’d consider either peers or even someone who I am older than...

But then, that’s kinda the thing about being queer period - we lost a generation to AIDS, and for those who followed that generation, we’ve had to live in this world where our heroes don’t exist like us, while trying to pave the way for those who come after us, and who can’t conceive of what it is like to age - as in “go from adulthood to middle age to elder,” not just the matter of growing up from childhood to adulthood - and so even as they’re the one who we want to give all of this to... It still means we suffer because no one is there to offer US that hand.

And yet, try to explain this to media creators, and you get ignored or even shut down. Like, I about a year ago, I directly replied to tweet from Patrick Weekes, explaining how Inquisition failed me, how all bi LIs actually HELP me feel more represented as a queer person than the mix of sexualities that BioWare on the whole has said that they intend to do (re: the difference of LIs in DA2 and Dragon Age Inquisition). It got no response, not even a like to indicate that it’d been read by them. I could form in my head the response I’d have inevitably gotten from David Gaider when he still had an active Tumblr of what would amount to, nicest, “we cannot please everyone, enough people were moved by Dorian’s story to make it worthwhile, sorry.” Given some of my cynicism, I can’t help but believe that it would also have come with a “sorry you feel that way.” Particularly considering some of the comments he’s made about Cullen and Kaidan as LIs, both of whom being characters I connect to more than others in their respective games...

And like... Gaider is a gay man. Weekes is nonbinary. But they are from that generation who view being able to exist openly as queer as a revolutionary statement, which... It’s a statement I want to make, sure, but it’s not a revolutionary one to me - “existence” is the bare minimum. To me, focusing on existence as a queer person is to say that the queer character must justify existing as queer in order to be a part of the narrative. But what is revolutionary to me is to give the queer person a story in the narrative that has NOTHING to do with their queerness.

Like... Fantasy world here, Inquisition drops with Cullen and Cassandra as same-sex exclusive LIs, while every other aspect of their stories are the same. Women can’t romance Cullen, Men can’t romance Cassandra. Other than that, we have Cullen with his addiction/redemption arc and Cassandra not just struggling with her faith but even getting the chance to be Divine. Yes, fandom would FLIP. THE FUCK. OUT. But here’s what it says - the things that these characters go through in the course of the game are not defined by their sexuality. Hell, with these characters specifically, you get characters with MASSIVE relevance to queer stories that AREN’T exclusive to being queer - addiction is a real issue in queer communities, given how many of our safe spaces are bars or clubs, places where alcohol (and thus alcohol abuse) is easily obtained, and, by extension, drugs as well. Meanwhile, there are SCORES of queer people who struggle with the question of faith in the wake of their queerness manifesting.

THAT is revolutionary. To take these stories that straight people get all the time, that certainly have meaning as queer stories for the queer audience... And yet, when they go to these (hypothetically) queer characters, it has that subtext without making the story ABOUT their queerness, while still making it clear that, in this version of things, they are queer - players couldn’t pretend that it’s only in some parallel universe that they are queer, they would only be attracted to the same sex PC. THAT is revolutionary.

Or, y’know, take it back beyond BioWare for a little bit here - all the characters I feel the most connection to emotionally in TV shows are straight. All these men who are my role models only ever get shown being involved with women. At most, they’ll get queerbaited as MAYBE being queer, if you just keep watching! Inevitably, of course, they are not queer by the end of the show - the closest to date is the debacle that is Supernatural.

Yeah, there’s representation for ya.

And then there are those who end up looking at what I see as thoroughly inadequate and... They’re happy. They praise it. They look at this thing that hurts me, that excludes me, that can, when I’m in the bad headspaces, even make me question myself... And they have found something they like with it.

Which, for the record, good for them, genuinely and sincerely, I really am glad that someone is getting something out of this, but... Well, see above: life preserver, isolation, “sorry you feel that way.” Everyone else is getting what they needed, but what about me? When does my representation get to appear? Why am I always being left, scrounging for the scraps of the scraps? Why does other peoples’ representation always seem to get shoved to the front of the line, leaving me languishing in the back.

That’s the real thing about all of those lines of “if you don’t like it, go make your own!” At this point, even if I did manage to get something in my to-write folder cleaned up and ready to go, in reality... How am I supposed to feel like anyone other than me WOULD proceed to read it? That the audience would exist? Because... no one seems to care about this audience. Hell, how would I get anyone to publish it if it is only going to appeal to me?

I feel on the margins of the margins, where no one really cares. Hell, even here in my own blog, I feel afraid of backlash - I’ve had the assholes show up in response to like little brief comments that are off-the-cuff rambles, not worded in a way that makes them a full, detailed accounting, and either take them as evidence that I, personally, represent all that is wrong with fandom at large, or that I am a target for their trolling. Because saying that “I find the jokes about male Shepard not mattering to be diminishing of me as a queer person, can we please stop this?” is somehow not just lesbophobic, but VIOLENTLY lesbophobic. Or that saying that I don’t care that bad things happen to a fictional species is somehow advocating for violence against actual women. Or even explicitly calling out BioWare for lovingly lingering the camera on Miranda’s ass is slutshaming her. And of course, there are the assholes who responded to me saying on the BioWare Twitter announcement post for the Legendary Edition that, if it didn’t have a full trilogy male Shepard/Kaidan romance, I wasn’t buying it, and proceeded to a) call me entitled for it (like, read a dictionary, the very fact that I have to call for this content that doesn’t exist in the game proper is the OPPOSITE of entitlement...), b) tell me that I “shouldn’t deny [myself] a great story just because it doesn’t have gay people in it” and c) just generally be homophobic. Even in rolling with it on the basis of “the trolls are gonna show up period if you make it clear that you care about something, especially if you are trying to get representation for some group that is in the minority... It gets exhausting. It can be harmful. It makes it clear that you’re not welcome, even when you’re supposedly united by the fact that you and these people supposedly love the same piece of media.

I mean, among those examples, I’ve given the statements that inspired those responses no tags other than my own organizational tags, but SOMEHOW they find me anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I got accused of like being another White Gay™ with this post, that I simply want to center the conversation wholly on myself at the expense of all other intersections of queerness and other identities or something for saying all of this, even though this is, and it says so from the start, a vent post, which, by definition, is centered on myself because it’s about me and my experiences and emotions. *sigh*

Anyway...

And, y’know, when BioWare actively refuses to even ACKNOWLEDGE that the absence of a full trilogy M/M romance option is a bad thing, it just ends up saying that the trolls are actually the audience they’re willing to court. That Supernatural ending with a brothers only focus that doesn’t even allow Cas to be mentioned other than offhandedly while suppressing ANY kind of emotional fallout to his admission of love says that they don’t care about the queer people who at the very least the actor was trying to be respectful and representative of. That every piece of media that says that to have a queer person in it, their presence must be explained and justified is saying that there needs to be a REASON for queerness, a reason that is not “because people are queer, and queer people come in as many stripes as cishet people, and so media should reflect that spectrum just as much.”

Even when the numbers of queer characters in media goes up, it doesn’t really move the needle. And that’s not even getting to the difficulties when you are any mix-and-match combo under the queer umbrella, or any other identity that intersects to marginalize someone in our society. It just...

Y’know, it doesn’t feel like “it gets better.” Rather it just feels like being stuck in position, just with a changing backdrop. Sure, things look different by the end of the day, but that doesn’t change that you’re not getting anywhere.

[gem5678]

Dragon Age OC Character Discussion: Fennic

https://www.quotev.com/story/10881311/Dragon-Age-Inquisition-The-Wolf-And-The-Slave

Heads up this has sensitive subjects, sexual and such in it:

So I just finished one of my favourite author’s books after reading their SVTFOE book I read their Dragon Age book and I felt conflicted. After reading it I began hating Fennic she was so toxic for Solas for her venting to him constantly not letting him communicate properly. Heck she even forced herself onto him when they broke up after a while. It was horrible I hated it, I hated the book, and I didn’t read much more after that. I had time to think and let me say this, anyone can be sexual assaulted, boys, girls and others they can be violated and it’s traumatic for them.

So, when I took time off the book I thought about something about Fennic as a character, she was a slave, she was a sex slave for Denarius, she grew up being forced upon, it was normalised for her. Heck she even mentioned the only reason she slept with Zevran was to feel and for the drugs he gave her. She slept with people as a deal as currency almost to show how she didn’t see lovemaking as passionate, a contrast to Eve the inquisitor in this story, it was interesting to see those two bonds. But still back to the topic, we get to see Fennic and her brother talk, to see her learn what a relationship is, she still isn’t adjusted to people to mages, she didn’t change completely she still has aspects from her DA2 counterpart or at the least what we’ve got so far. She has changed, she has become a bit more tolerant to mages than her DA2 counterpart, which is great, she does have some sort of development from her DA2 self but she isn’t perfect, far from it. But that’s what I like it shows she still has to grow, she has time to develop to grow more from her experience, to show she’s relatable, human if you would for an elven girl.

As shown, she’s okay with throwing herself into battle like the ogre fight, with hurting herself as shown with the lyrium markings, with being a martyr this is from her slave roots I believe being Denarius bodyguard alongside her brother, she doesn’t see worth in herself. Which is why I love about her romance with Solas, the two at first are simply sassing one another it isn’t love at first sight which is great, you see the two getting close from the inquisition, you see Solas learning about Fennic’s intrigue in elven history, and you see her deal with Solas’s issue with the Qun while he himself deals with her issues in terms of contact, mages and well her mental health. It seems great at first, the two helping one another with their issues but then things change. When things get personal for her, she snaps, snapping at everyone and Solas is sort of dealing with her, babysitting her you could say. This is the first time Fennic is dealing with this sort of thing not alone and she isn’t used to it.

For example, she sees Hawke and Fenris in this book with their kid Robin and is like you need a kid for a relationship it’s what she concludes cause she’s that bad with the concept of relationships she doesn’t take into account the steps it takes for a relationship, the time it passes. So when it comes to her marks and infidelity. She’s scared so she goes to her number one comfort, drinking it’s the one thing that is the first thing she goes to in both Inquisition and DA2. Her only way to cope so it leads to her snapping, venting at Solas who is trying to help her but…

Another thing to point is the effect lyrium can have on people as stated lyrium can make people paranoid, they are haunted by their worse memories and with Fen no longer having anyone to keep her sated with her markings, withdrawal would come which cause headaches, forgetfulness, an unquenchable thirst, and cold hands. Fennic doesn’t remember much of her past only Denarius so having him constantly in her head doesn’t help and her forgetfulness would only make her even more paranoid. I am not saying people with mental health issues can’t be in relationships on the contrary with Solas’ patience and his fade magic it looks like he’s helping her get better, be better, he helps getting her to eat as she does the same for him.

Now I know what you’re going to say but Gem Fenris isn’t paranoid, her brother and her went through a different method of gaining their lyrium tattoos so I assume it has different results from their power and she was also the demo, the test subject for Fenris’ own markings methods.

I just wish to reiterate; I am not defending what she did not one bit. I simply think she did what she did to Solas out of anger, out of bitterness, out of pain, she isn’t perfect, when she became vulnerable and got hurt. This pain was new to her, she had never willingly slept with someone without something in it for her, this relationship thing was entirely new to her and no one’s first relationships are perfect. So when she was hurt, she lashed out she did what Denarius did to her to Solas as a way to hurt him like he did her.

I only realized this when I got into a not-so-great relationship after I escaped that I swore I wouldn’t be like them but when I went into my next relationship, I did it. I copied what they did and I hadn’t realized that until a year after we broke up. So when I went back to this book I realized why the author did what they did, they aren’t done with Fennic yet I hope that in the next dragon age we get to see Fennic realize how shitty of a partner she was to be better, to see her reflect to show she can be to show that, to show toxic people can change. Not all of them can and I am still not condoning what Fennic did but I can understand why she did what she did and I just hope she can become better after doing that and maybe in the next game apologise to Solas at the least maybe even save him as an apology for what she put him through. I doubt they’ll get back together after that but it’s still a conclusion I hope to see in the next game.

[kunstpause-archive]

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

For this Fanfic ask game

I love writing dialogue-heavy scenes so this was a hard one but I found one I particularly like. It's from a long story about DA2 I am writing together with @elveny and it’s between Cassia (Hawke) and Anders at a point where she has been in a very bad place for a while. Cassia has struggled with self-worth issues and depression for a long time, on top of it she always had issues really controlling her magic - and over time it led to her trying to fix her problems through potions - basically stumbling into an addiction. Around the time her mother dies all this comes up and to light and the bit about her talking to Anders after she relapsed (with not so nice side effects) was something I had in my head for them for months in advance already. Trying to find the balance between someone being true there for her in a helpful manner but also not acting like talking a little bit to a friend solves the issue. Bc it doesn’t, but it is the first time she realizes, that she isn’t the only one struggling with certain things and that’s worth a lot in itself.

I really liked how that scene turned out, from the actual talk to the mood around it. I put a part of it under the cut.

cw: for talk about drug abuse and depression

“Cassia? I was at your sister’s, and I thought I’d check in on you because…” Anders suddenly stopped, and Cassia could guess why. What sight greeted him. “Cassia?” he called out again. Louder, more alarmed this time.

“In here,” she called back, her voice cracking under the strain. But he had obviously heard her, for only moments later, she wasn’t alone anymore. From the way he looked at her, Cassia was reasonably certain she wouldn’t have to explain much. Resignation mixed with concern was all over his face.

Cassia felt like she had to make him understand regardless. “Anders, I...” she started, but her voice trailed off with uncertainty.

“It’s alright,” he said, bending down to help her up. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and back into bed first.”

“I don’t need even more rest,” Cassia said between clenched teeth. “I need…”

“I think you have no idea what you actually need right now,” he interrupted her. He didn’t sound unkind, but there was a sternness on his face Cassia wasn’t used to. Anders let out a small sigh. “I was afraid of something like this,” he murmured quietly. “But not enough to take precautions.”

All of a sudden, Cassia felt defensive. “It’s not that bad,” she insisted, “a small error in judgment. I made a mistake, but there is no reason to get all overly worried about me again.” She tried to stand on her own, to move away from him, but her balance was off the second she tried. Anders managed to hold her upright just in time, looking even sterner than before.

“I decide how much I worry, not you,” he said as he helped her over to the water basin. “I know you think you don’t need anyone’s help, but you do. And from what I am seeing, you probably shouldn’t be the one to make that call right now.”

Everything inside Cassia wanted to protest, but she felt too weak to even lift her arms on her own as she let herself be sat down. A warm washcloth against her skin made her able to focus at least some.

“You don’t get to decide how I…” she started, but Anders was having none of it.

“I think it is pretty clear that your decision-making is piss-poor at the moment,” he said dryly, continuously cleaning up the remains of spilled potion and stray ice flakes on her. “So, right now? I’m taking charge, and you are going to let me help!”

He didn’t get loud, but he spoke with so much quiet authority that Cassia didn’t have it in her to argue anymore. She just nodded silently as he helped her up again and walked her back to her bedroom. A few minutes later Cassia was back in bed, her potions chest gone, out of sight. As she got settled, Anders sat down at the side of her bed, looking at her intensely.

“You want to tell me why you thought any of this was a particularly good idea?” he asked, and Cassia shifted uncomfortably, not quite knowing how to answer that. The silence between them stretched, but from the way he was looking at her, she knew he wouldn’t just let her off the hook. Not this time at least.

“You didn’t even have a good reason, did you?”

It sounded surprisingly calm, and Cassia didn’t quite know how to meet his eyes. “Oh, I had plenty,” she muttered.

“Tell me then.”

Cassia looked up. “Why?” she asked, feeling her guard go up. “So you can pick them apart and tell me how dumb I was? How they were not valid reasons at all?” Part of her could hear it clear as day already, but something in his eyes seemed not right. Unexpected.

“No,” Anders said simply. “They were probably valid reasons. But you are not seeing your situation clearly right now.”

He said it with such certainty that Cassia felt irritation flare up in her. “I can see just fine, thanks!” The exasperation was all over her voice as she tried to make him see. “Look, I get that you are trying to help, but there are some things you couldn’t possibly understand. You don’t know what it’s like!”

“Try me.”

“What?”

His open expression and the lack of any further admonishments threw Cassia for a loop. She had expected another lecture at least, but so far, Anders had been surprisingly uncooperative when it came to her expectations.

“You’re right, I have no idea about your magic issues,” he said softly. “But everything else? You’d be surprised how much I understand what you are feeling.”

Cassia shook her head in disbelief. It didn’t deter Anders from continuing.

“It’s all too much, isn’t it? The expectations. The pressure. People needing you to be a certain way, and you just know deep inside that you are not up to it. That you are going to let them down.” There was something in his eyes as he spoke that gave her pause. Something personal. Like he wasn’t just talking about how she felt, but about something way more private. Remnants of pain much older than her current situation. “And no matter how often someone tells you it’s alright, something inside you just can’t believe them,” he continued, and Cassia felt herself slightly nodding along with his words that described what she was feeling all too well. “Something insists they are wrong. Knows they would see it too if they only looked close enough. If they could only see you as you see yourself. If they knew the truth…” His eyes were locked with hers. “Am I close?”

Cassia swallowed as she nodded. “How…”

A sad smile appeared on Anders’ face. “Cassia, if you believe me in nothing else, believe this: You are not the first and not the only person to ever feel like this.”

For a moment, all Cassia could think about was all that she knew about his past in Ferelden. And the fact that he definitely wasn’t just spouting platitudes at her. He knew how she felt. He understood because she wasn’t the only one. A realization that should make her happy. Instead, all she felt was a feeling of deep sorrow for her friend.

“Anders, I am so sorry…” she said quietly but he waved her words aside. The sadness in his smile disappeared as it turned into something more genuine. More him.

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago, and I’ve learned a lot since then.” He gave her an encouraging look. “It wasn’t easy. As I assume it won’t be for you. But I promise you: It can get better. Not through a potion though, and especially not one that could very well kill you!”

“But it helped…” Cassia heard herself say in a small voice before she could even think about it. “Before I mean. I felt so awful, and then I took it and it helped!”

Anders shook his head. “Not really.” Gently, he took one of her hands into his, squeezing it lightly. “It made you feel better about yourself for a while, but it didn’t really solve anything, did it? It’s temporary. And trust me, if you keep this up, it will only get worse.” If someone is interested in the whole chapter you can find it here

[aniaintok]

elysethrillems replied to your post “elysethrillems replied to your post “elysethrillems replied to your...”

Ani goes through some life changing thoughts about it all and doesn’t join the group for awhile, meanwhile Obi is trying to not let it bother him and probably wondering the same about what doesn’t magic spoil in this life of his. Quinlan in the Hanged Man tavern tries to get his mind off it all and lowkey makes sure Obi never drinks too much, probably tells him a bunch of other stories of people who have came through the years Ashoka ignores all the locked entrances on Anakin’s house and finds a way to slip in, mayb at first thinking about giving him an earful about being so angry at his life being saved(maybe not getting that the /magic/ was the problem), but then actually being there to hear more of how he feels about it and just like letting him rant and get all the jumbled feelings out. She helps sort some things out. Also makes sure he’s still got food and drink                 She’s like jokingly like “don’t make me get Obi to magic some food in here!” After awhile when it’s not such a tense subject and they can have a little chuckle about it                    I really just went off with that idea omg. I really do like it. But yea! The game! I did choose to play as a mage and I almost looked in to mods to double class but it was just a little too complicated. So far they’re all like “ope we better HIDE that you’re a MAGE” all while walking around with a big stick like....tf. I wish they could have some alternative weapon and just lowkey use magic. I do like that in da2 and dai that enemies close the mage get thwacked and cut with the stuff on the end-                    -Of their staves. Sometimes I like the thought of Obi using a sword or sword and shield combo but also I like the idea of going outside game lines and just giving him a more boring looking staff, not like the fancy extra ones the mages have but just more looking practical to cut/bludgeon enemies but could still lowkey use magic. Idk if that makes sense I hope it does  Yeah I just did Fenris’ recruit quest a bit ago and afterwards he was like “I seen you casting spells...I know what you are.” And like he insisted it was fine working with him but then there was +10 rivalry with him afterwards. So that quest, but Obi is using another weapon and scarce magic so Anakin doesn’t know about it. Also the chat with him after the quest Fenris is wondering about his plans and if he’ll be staying in Kirkwall, I really flirted it up in that convo thinking about Obi n Ani.     Ani, taking another stand against his slaver and all those he sent after him, but this time not alone in the fight, and is very happy that Obi and company are helping. “Perhaps I will stay after this is all done... given the right reasons. [looks @ Obi]” (the flirting Fen n Hawke had in that convo). As much as I love the angst and hurt/comfort I’m such a sucker for these sweet flirts                            

i absolutely love quinlan and ahsoka taking it upon themselves to look after these two idiots while they’re fighting bc god knows they’re already bad at taking care of themselves but now that they’re not talking it’s even WORSE. like, quin is pretty sure if he didn’t force him to, obi-wan would never sleep. the only sure fire way to actually make him get some shut eye is to get him plastered and force him into a bed, and that’s uh, worrying, and then ahsoka is dealing with anakin at the other end of the spectrum who 100% forgets to feed himself, or doesn’t feed himself real meals. i love the idea of her just fuckin breaking into the mansion with a sack of food like “HAHA! I have come to take care of you! and you cannot argue!!”

god yea da2 is so fucking funny bc everyone’s just like “hawke is DEFINITELY NOT A MAGE!! meanwhile hawke is,,,, blatantly walking around with a staff, rip. if you could double class is da2 that would be SICK, i do wish they had at least carried over the ability in origins you have to give characters two weapon sets, because that would be fun to actually play a mage hiding themselves, carry around an inconspicuous weapon in town. (and yes, mages just fuckin wacking the shit out of enemies at close combat is my favorite thing too)

nah your idea about a more plain staff totally makes sense!!! and i agree, i think it works better, both for the plot line of hiding magic and also i feel like obi-wan wouldn’t be one for a fancy staff?? he’s a very classic guy, i’d def see him picking utility over style, and i really like the idea of him carrying a bladed staff versus one with an over the top ~magicky~ look

ahhh yea now that you say it i do remember that convo, but yea i like the idea of obi-wan fighting with more of a warrior style, likely still wary of anakin and how he might react. like, he seems trustworthy, but they barely know eachother and he can’t be sure that he isn’t going to be handed over to the templars if he outs himself as a mage right off the bat.

YESS the hawke/fenris in game flirting is so good, i think it fits with the snippy banter you could expect from obi-wan and anakin too! and hell yes, anakin is very much the kind of person who puts stock into actions over words, so it’s one thing for obi-wan to say he’ll help and another for him to fight at his side, for no reason other than to help anakin. it means so much to him that they continued on to help, and he’s intrigued by what that could mean for their future~

[ren3gade]

Taking Bethany to the Circle

Most recently I’ve been chewing on the scene in Dragon Age 2 where Cullen arrests Bethany. My very favorite Cullen scenes are the ones where he’s mad about something, so of course I love this sequence.

This scene only happens if Hawke is not a mage, so Cullen is interacting with them as a fellow non-mage.

[Hawke arrives at home, sees Cullen speaking with Bethany]

Hawke: What’s going on?

Bethany: Please don’t do anything.

Cullen: Mistress Bethany is being taken to the Circle of Magi in the Gallows.

If Hawke gets aggressive with Cullen (”You’re not taking her!”) he rises to the occasion and Bethany quickly moves between them. This delicious little bit of melodrama sparked one of my more ambitious kinkfic ventures (an early characterization exercise was a Cullen who likes to, shall we say, wrestle). I suspect most players choose the red Hawke option and it is the option that makes the scene the most tense, but regardless of what choice you get two basic reprimands from Cullen for harboring a mage:

(That’s a death sentence!)

H: The Gallows is horrible! You can’t go there.

B: I have to. That’s where the apostates go, isn’t it?

C: Consider yourselves fortunate. The viscount has requested we spare your family the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage.

(Not to stay, I hope.)

H: A little tour is fine but this better not be permanent.

B: Of course it’s permanent. It had to happen eventually, didn’t it?

C: Consider yourselves fortunate. Her cooperation allows us to spare you the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage, this once.

(You’re not taking her!)

H: Over my dead body.

[Bethany moves between them]

B: It’s done. Don’t make it worse.

[Hawke shakes head, backs down]

C: Consider yourselves fortunate. Her cooperation allows us to spare you the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage, this once.

The game is intentionally vague as to whether Bethany turns herself in or the templars finally find themselves in a position to arrest an Amell.

The apparent diplomatic response, “The viscount has requested we spare your family the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage,” suggests a diplomatic Hawke may have closer ties to the Keep than other Hawkes. It’s also possible this dialogue triggers if you take certain actions in the Unbidden Rescue quest where Hawke is tasked with returning Dumar’s son, Saemus. I digress, that’s not a hypothesis I’m in a position to test at the moment. The line I really want to talk about is:

Cullen: Her cooperation allows us to spare you the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage, this once.

The voice acting on this is very interesting. Particularly the way Cullen says, “this once.” He emphasizes this and sounds disapproving. There is also a hint of warning in it.

There used to be a lot of comedy fanon on Tumblr about Cullen being clueless regarding Bethany/Hawke being a mage, but the in-game subtext makes it clear Cullen knows there is a mage in the party (and from the Doylian side, the devs knew there would likely be a mage in the party and wrote the dialogue accordingly). For those who miss the subtext, Cullen states it clearly in ambient dialogue in Act 1:

Cullen: I’ve been hearing interesting things about your sister, Hawke. I hope they’re not true.

As usual with DA2 you can take this in so many directions, but my first thought was Meredith Stannard. I believe (could be fanon, but I think it’s actual canon and will definitely share a source if I find it) Meredith tells Cullen the story of her sister Amelia, much as she later tells a pro-templar Hawke in Act 3. For those who missed it (probably most players) I reproduce it here:

(Why do you hate mages so much?)

Hawke: This grudge you have against mages seems very… personal.

Meredith: It is personal. My sister was a mage. She was a kind, gentle soul, and completely unprepared for such a burden. My family hid her. We knew she could never last in the Circle or pass their rigorous tests.

(You were protecting her.)

H: She was your family. What else could you do?

M: Amelia was terrified and utterly grateful for our efforts. We thought we were doing the right thing. And then she was possessed by a demon. My sister killed our family and I only barely escaped. Before the templars brought her down she had slain 70 innocents. So I understand perfectly well why the mages struggle. As well as why the laws we uphold are so vital.

Harboring a mage sibling is a direct parallel to Meredith’s experience, and it is easy to see why both Cullen and Meredith would be angry about it. Cullen’s reprimand also suggests he’s not pleased that Hawke has been skirting the Order’s, and by extension the Chantry’s, authority, and the implicit warning is Hawke needs to remember who’s in charge here.

Cullen may canonically respect or even like Hawke, but there are a lot of tensions here, even if Hawke is not a mage.

We can then pile on the political layers. If the templars have Bethany, they have leverage over a non-mage Hawke, much in the way the templars already have leverage over a mage Hawke. The templars make exceptions, both for Hawke and for Anders, but not for Bethany, which I find notable though the Doylian reasons are clear. This is where fanon comes in, and you can spin it in a dozen interesting directions.

I think I will never tire of this game.

[roachfurby]

It seems to me that the epilogue with the creation of a hospital for the Templars is more suitable for Samson than for Cullen. But Bioware could not allow anyone to become better than their holy Cullen. What do you think?

TLDR GOING HERE BC I RANTED SORRY (rant under cut): 

First off, sorry for taking so long to reply, I accidentally took my night time meds instead of my day time meds earlier and my ability to function and like. articulate thoughts has not been ideal lmao. also im still really fucky so if i sound like a crackhead im sorry lol

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’d have switched Samson and Cullen’s Inquisition roles immediately if given the option. Why bioware is so obsessed with him is absolutely befuddling to me - especially when it came to inquisition.

Cullen’s story arc was completed in DA2, imo, while Samson’s was just beginning. Cullen didn’t really DO any growth in Inquisition other than the whole quitting lyrium thing, and even then it’s just like. One cut scene and a bit of war table banter? He still hates mages. He’s still heavily supports the templars. Nothing about him changes or grows, even if you romance him as a mage. If you romance him as a mage, he sees you as an exception, and then continues to spout bigoted nonsense about how dangerous mages are. 

Samson had so much more potential for growth, and would have fit into the “Progressive Commander” role much more easily given his notable (though imperfect) support of mages in DA2. His issue with lyrium are also already shown in DA2, and his struggle to quit lyrium as commander in inquisition would have had much more impact on him as a character and on players emotionally. The lyrium rehab would have been a massive accomplishment and source of pride for him, something with strong ties to his background and his struggles, while for cullen it seems more like an afterthought imho.

As for a romance route, the potential for angst+comfort is so fucking good. Struggling with lyrium withdrawal? Feelings of inadequacy in his position? Templar guilt? Overwhelmed by Everything? SO much comfort potential. Not to mention the fact that the reason he was kicked from the templars in the first place was bc he was smuggling love letters to and from a mage and his lover - thats romantic as hell?? Absolutely lovely?? He was willing to take a massive risk to let two lovers keep in contact, got booted out of the templars for it, continued to support mages, and even tried to save one of them after the world went to shit, and they choose Creepen Stalkerford (shout out to fem!surana/amell lol) instead?? the fuck. 

Maybe its because Cullen was a useful pawn to make it easier to force the whole grey morality thing. Leliana is a mage supporter, and Josephine speaks in favor of the mages a few times. Maybe to them Cassandra (and Viv. and bull. and Sera.) wasn’t enough of a pro-templar influence, or they felt they needed a staunchly pro-templar adviser, not a companion. No matter the reason, he honestly feels shoehorned in - they suspiciously do not have anyone mentioning the darker parts of his past in the game, they dont have anyone speaking out against him, it’s as if they tried to wipe all of the problematic (and honestly, evil) parts of his past away to make room for this new Courageous Tortured Soul who wants to speak out against the “injustices of the chantry against templars” or whatever the fuck. 

Meanwhile, there is a wonderful option to allow character growth for a man who has done little wrong other than to send refugee mages to shifty people (but where else could he send them?) and has suffered at the hands of the chantry far, far worse. Cullen left of his own accord, after years of being in power. Samson was tossed out into the streets, lyrium addicted, for allowing lovers to keep in contact. And what do they do with this character? the sidekick to the shittiest main villain in the damn franchise. The wasted potential is sickening!!!!

Fuck, even if Samson wasn’t the commander, the potential for him to be brought in by the inquisition as a companion or even perhaps an agent would have been leagues better!! Personal or war table missions (depending on if hes a companion or agent) relating to lyrium and helping him and/or other addicts recover safely, the Inquisition showing support for those seeking aid by creating the rehabilitation centers. Less of a chance of people falling prey to tainted lyrium and joining corypheus if there are safe alternatives available, yes? And, as for the grey morality scale bioware wants with the companions? Just have him be an optional companion! That way, if a player wanted their inquisition to be heavily pro-templar (freaks) then they could just say “no thanks” and be on their way, personal morality in tact. 

Not to mention that any of these options would make it so that everyone would get Calpernia as secondary villain, who honestly feels much more deep and fulfilling as a villain.

anyway ive exhausted my 2 brain cells for the day. please grab a nice tall glass of Loving Samson Juice on ur way out :)