#(i just checked and it was three weeks ago wtf time???)

[radioactive-cloud]

started writing yet another thing that i doubt i'll ever finish

[lokischocolatefountain]

Separation

Series Masterlist

Fandom: Narcos

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: 18+ (*slaps the roof of this fic* This bad boy can fit so much smut, angst and fluff in it)

Word count: 8.4k words wtf

Summary: The last time Javier Peña saw his wife was almost three weeks ago in Steve Murphy’s apartment. He’d finally done it. He’d fucked up the only good thing in his life, driven her away with his neglect.

A/N: Why is it that whenever I write Javi, there’s angst? What is it about this beautiful pathetic man with big brown eyes (and big strong arms) that makes me want to hurt and comfort him? Also, if any of you want to be tagged the next time I post Javi (or just husband Javi) lmk and I’ll make a tag list.

The last time Javier Peña saw his wife was in Steve Murphy’s apartment, holding a sleeping baby Olivia Murphy on her lap as she consoled an anxious Connie Murphy. That night, he’d finally brought his partner home to his wife and child. Relieved, he went home only to find a note from his wife by his bedside informing him that she would be staying with a friend for a while. No explanations, no phone calls. Just a note.

That was almost three weeks ago.

Her side of the bed stayed untouched. Her bedside table was unusually empty without her novel of the week on it. When he reached out for her in his sleep, his heart craving the familiar comfort of her touch, he found it cold and empty. He’d wake up with a start, unaccustomed to an empty bed even though he’d spent all his bachelor life before her sleeping by himself. It was as though married life had been a cruel fantasy he was awoken from to be forced back into the reality of his lonely existence.

No matter how many times he longed to call her friend’s landline, he couldn’t bring himself to dial the number. She’d been by his side ever since he asked her to move in with him. Undying loyalty, a shoulder to lean on, a body to hold when he awoke from nightmares. She deserved a break from him.

The refrigerator sometimes had boxes of meals for him, his whiskey glass was chilled, her laundry done and dried for him to fold up. Dishes left in the sink for him to wash. He had a wife and she did come by the apartment but never when he was there too. She’d been like a ghost, slipping in and out and probably through walls without his notice.

Their anniversary came and went. Still no sign of her.

It wasn’t their wedding anniversary. It was the anniversary of their first date. That was not something they celebrated like they did their wedding anniversary but her absence made him remember and it fucking stung.

He’d finally done it. He’d fucked up the only good thing in his life, driven her away with his neglect. She gave him everything and asked for nothing. Not even the bare minimum. Her parents had begged her for a proper wedding and he couldn’t even give her that. She married him at the embassy and went home alone in the short white dress she bought herself from a regular store as he went off on some fucking raid that ended up failing anyway. She watched as her friends had weddings and baby showers and children while he kept her stuck in the same place in life.

And she was finally gone. After putting up with everything, she’d slowly disappeared from his life without him even noticing it.

Javi found himself outside her classroom. He’d walked into the English Literature department, opened her drawer and checked her schedule, ignoring the questioning staff with the same practiced authority he had as DEA agent.

For the first time, he took in the force that was Professor Peña in action. He knew she was a fucking genius. But to see her command the classroom’s attention was something else.

On one of their first nights together, he’d put his head on her lap and closed his eyes as she played with her hair and asked her unashamedly to read her book out loud to him. He had a reputation of being an asshole, of sleeping around a lot. There was an image of him being a callus man who hopped from one bed to the next. It couldn’t be further from the truth. He gave bits and pieces of his heart to every woman he slept with, he asked personal questions, kissed foreheads and comforted them over their troubles. He lied on the lap of the woman he would one day marry and asked her to read him a bedtime story of how Anna Karenina fell out of love with Alexei and in love with Vronsky. Javier may have been an asshole in others’ eyes, but on her lap, he was the man who kept his parents’ easy intimacy in the back of his head as he looked up at her and wondered if he could have something like that with her.

As she engaged the classroom in a discussion about Frankenstein’s creation, he witnessed everyone around him fall for her just as he did. He watched as she pulled them into discussions and got them involved in passionate debates amongst themselves about the nature of the creature. She was the perfect leader, knowing just how to steer the large group, get the stubborn young people to question their world views and lead them to answers to questions they didn’t even know they had.

She was a wonder.

If this was all he could have of her, he would take it. If she wouldn’t come home to him anymore, he would show up to her classes and sit in the back seat just to hear her voice and see her eyes twinkle with passion.

She didn’t notice him, her attention reserved for the students who asked questions and argued their points passionately. He had to wait until they’d all submitted their papers to her and had a little conversation to continue their discussions. He’d never seen students so reluctant to leave a classroom. He couldn’t blame them; he didn’t want to leave either. Only when most of her class had shuffled out did he have the courage to approach her desk.

He stood there, making no sounds, just fidgeting with his right hand as he tried to find the courage in him to speak to the professor who was counting the number of essays that had been submitted to her.

“Sorry, I have to get home now. Office hours are before class on Monday,” she said, not even looking up at him.

“Sure, if that’s the only way I’ll get to see you.”

She stilled mid-count, letting go of the papers as she looked up at him. She opened and closed her mouth, as though swallowing everything she thought to say.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, finally.

He shrugged and managed a half-smile. “Had to catch you somehow.”

When she said nothing, he continued, “Where do you go when you tell your students you’re going home? Because you don’t come to ours.”

He carried her papers, her handbag and her lunch bag to the jeep. As though he had to confiscate all her belongings to make sure she’d actually come home with him. As though he was afraid she’d slip through his fingers like the sicarios he chased.

Her hand didn’t cross the physical space between them. Her head rested against the glass of the window and her eyes were closed. She didn’t reach over to switch the radio on, didn’t ask him about his day, didn’t reach over to pinch his cheek or steal his aviators.

“Talk to me,” he said, his voice shaking as he realized he didn’t want to hear whatever it was she had to say. He wasn’t prepared for the harsh truths. All he wanted was to take her to bed and kiss her all over and hold her tight so that she would never leave. He wanted to cry like a little boy begging his dad to not leave for work because he would miss him too much during the day. He wanted to overwhelm her with his love, manipulate her mind into taking him back though he couldn’t admit to himself that at some point she apparently stopped wanting to keep him.

His hand was on her knee as he sat at her feet and looked up at her face expectantly for her to speak. It wouldn’t have taken him more than a second to get on his knees. He was no religious man. That stopped the day he buried his Ma. But he would get on his knees again and pray to her to stay, to be his benevolent goddess and forgive his sins for the nth time.

“I don’t know what I did, I really don’t,” his voice cracked as he confessed. “But it must’ve been something terrible for you to stop coming home.” It shamed him to discover that he had become the man he promised himself he would never be. One of those inattentive men who’d grown so comfortable in the kindnesses of their wife that they’re shocked when she decides she has had enough. Neglect killed love. And he had been neglecting her, leaving her alone most days and most nights as he traveled back and forth between Bogotá and Medellin.

She stared at him, her expressions indiscernible. She accepted his hands when he placed them on hers, the small action giving him hopes. “Whatever it is, I’ll fix it,” he begged, holding on tight. He needed her to believe him.

She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “It’s not— you didn’t do anything wrong.”

After relief came surprise. He hadn’t done something wrong this time? The relief was quickly replaced by worry. If he was the cause of her running away from him, he could handle that. He could change himself, fix whatever within was wrong to make her come home again. But it was something else, someone else…

“What is it, then?” He asked, cupping her cheek and gently directing her to look at him instead of her lap or the walls. “Is it work? Are your parents doing well back home?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.”

He inhaled and rubbed his eyes. “It can’t be nothing. You left me. You packed up your bags and left. I think I deserve an explanation.”

She let out a sigh. “I’ll come back then.”

His hand curled into a fist and his jaw clenched. So that was it? All he had to do was ask? Her easy compliance made him want to throw something at the wall.

He got off the ground where he was knelt at her feet and began pacing across the room.

He expected some resistance when he barged into her workplace uninvited and demanded that she come with him. He expected— no, hoped for a fight for it would give him answers for her sudden disappearance. But she just walked with him to the parking lot, no questions asked. And now she just agreed to move back in. All because he demanded answers.

“Fucking tell me!” He yelled, his hand fidgeting at his side.

“I don’t want to fight,” she said, her voice too calm for the gravity of the situation. Like this didn’t fucking matter.

Oh, you don’t wanna fight? You don’t wanna fucking fight? You fucking ran off and you don’t want to—

“I don’t either, but you’re making it very hard to not do that.”

He heard her take in a deep breath before he heard the unmistakable whispers of sniffling. Great. Fucking amazing. Now, he’d gone and made her cry.

Her sounds of despair were enough for his rage to evaporate off him. He rushed back to her side and pulled her to his chest, forcing comfort upon her in the hope that it would serve as a salve to whatever wounds he’d ripped open. To his relief, she didn’t push him away. But she didn’t pull him close like she always did when he embraced her. Things had changed and he hadn’t even noticed it happening. All he could do now was hope that whatever this rift was between them, he could patch it back together.

—————————

Even in the blistering heat of Bogotá, Javier chose to keep his wife pressed to his chest when he slept. She was disgusted by their sweat combining and their clothes sticking to their bodies, but she indulged his need for closeness. She knew he loved with his body and she accepted his love, in all its sweaty sticky mess.

So he had no choice but to interpret the chasm between them on their marital bed as her rejection of his love.

As soon as he brought her back home, he had to leave for Medellin. Any hopes for setting things right had been crushed when he had to leave from work straight to the other city. He’d called home before he left, informing he would be gone for a long time once again. She didn’t say much, just hemmed and hawed before asking him to be safe out there. No exaggerated smooching sounds to make him laugh, no promises of what would be awaiting him when he came back home to her, no I love you before she said goodbye.

Over ten days after the call, he was back but without any of the feelings of satisfaction he usually had when coming home to her. Instead, there was just dread. She met him at the door as usual and wrapped her arms around him, but she separated without a kiss. The cracks in the foundations of their marriage ran deeper than he’d feared.

“Hey,” he whispered awkwardly when she finally opened her eyes. She stilled, her head jerking up as though surprised he was there.

“Hey,” she replied, her voice groggy from sleep as she shuffled under her blanket.

“I missed you so much, mi amor…” he said carefully, afraid that anything he might say would snap the last thread that held them together. His hand slowly crept into the space between them, an offering to share the littlest bit of marital comforts.

“Missed you too, Javi,” she conceded, not taking his hand but settling for playing with his fingers. He allowed her to lead, giving what little contact she took from him and taking back only as much, afraid to cross any lines.

Her nails were uncharacteristically unkempt. The woman he knew did not tolerate chipped nail polish, wiping all her nails with acetone when the paint began chipping off. Almost all her nails except her pinky had chipped paint now. Her thumbnail was bare.

“May I paint your nails?” He asked, hopeful. She nodded and he left their bed in search of the box in which she kept all her manicure tools and paints.

When they sat together on bed as he took the pink off her nails, they were closer. He handled her hands with care, refusing to scrub too harshly even when the pieces of glitter clung to her as stubbornly as he did. Manicures were something she got done from salons, but she painted her own nails just as often. She said it calmed her.

He then brought the glass file to her nails, reducing them to a shorter oval shape the way she liked them. Any longer and she found it hard to use her typewriter. He made sure to file the edges in the same direction, recalling that she’d told him filing in opposite directions was not good for nail health. He repositioned her hand in his, turning it left and right as he evaluated his work. Satisfied with the shape, he brought his lips to the finger, his eyes remaining on hers the entire time to check for any signs of rejection. He pressed little kisses from her fingertip to her wrist, relishing in the shy smiles she rewarded him with.

He repeated his work with the other nails and then used the little wooden stick she had to push her cuticles back in preparation for the paint. The shower would wash it off soon, but he still slathered some moisturizer on her hands, using it as an excuse to massage her hands. He pushed the excess cream beyond her wrists and up her arms.

He kissed the back of her hand and looked up at her, her eyes clouded with sleep and something else, her plush lips parting as his own traveled up her arm. “You feel so good, baby, so soft,” he praised, making her shudder. When he reached the sleeve of his t-shirt that she liked wearing to bed, he pulled it down, exposing her shoulder. As he neared her neck, she cradled his head in her hand, guiding him by his hair to place kisses where she wanted them. His lips went willingly, loving her up in every spot she took him to. She was all sweat, citrus shampoo and the jasmine of the lotion he’d rubbed on her. He breathed her in, her scent being his choice of drug.

She pulled him back from her neck, gazing at his lips before closing her eyes and leaning forward. He brushed the tip of his nose against hers, making her giggle. He smiled before leaning in again but kissing her chin.

“Javi,” she whined as he kissed along her jaw and the corners of her lips and even her nose, refusing to press his lips to hers.

“Yeah, baby?” He asked, feigning innocence. But she knew him too well to believe the act.

“Jodón.”

“Tell me what you want.” He demanded, craving the feeling of being wanted. He needed to know that she needed him just like he needed her, that she wasn’t just capitulating to his desires, that she desired him.

“Kiss me.”

He found himself grinning as he took her face in his hands and tilted his head, unhurried in how he grazed her lips with his. She took initiative, pressing her lips to his. She consumed him, not like a starving woman but like one ready to savor each second of her meal. He let one hand wander down her back, caressing her through the thin fabric but not daring to slip it under her t-shirt. He needed her to take this at her pace, unaffected by his greed and desperation to have all of her. It was fantastic how just a kiss from her could make him feel his heart beating for her.

He’d kissed other women before her and he enjoyed all those times. But with her, it was different. It wasn’t the first step in fucking, wasn’t a means to an end. When he kissed her, he wasn’t a lonely man trying to imitate a deeper intimacy he’d never had merely to quell his yearning for connection. In her lips, he found not just the thrill of desire, but the safety of home.

The first time he kissed her, every other kiss ceased to exist and she’d become the only one. Everyone he kissed after that first kiss left him unsatisfied. None of them tasted like her, didn’t send jolts of electricity through him, didn’t make his heart leap out of his chest.

She mewled into the kiss as his tongue danced with hers, giving in to her exploration of his mouth as she pulled him closer to herself. Taking her sounds as encouragement, he tangled his hands into her hair. He poured a month’s worth of longing into the kiss, asking with each sigh and moan ‘Can you feel how I yearn for you? Can you not feel how you broke me when you left and put me back together with just this kiss?’

She pulled back first and he found himself panting, taking in the air he didn’t know he was depriving himself of. He pounced back, needing her more than he needed oxygen. He took her lips between his, pushing her head into the headboard as he pulled her into a heated kiss. One hand roamed his shoulder and then his arms, up and down and driving him mad as the other rested over his heart. He brought a hand to hers, trapping hers over his heart. He felt lightheaded as she staved him of air, but he happily drowned in her. He needed her to feel him, feel how his heart beat to her tune, how it missed having her head rest on it as they slept in each other’s arms.

“Please, Javi. Need you…” she broke off to whisper. He placed one last kiss to her lips before he slid down the bed, pulling her to the edge before pulling her shorts off her. He dove in and licked her through her panties, savoring the taste of her wetness on the cotton. Her hand found his hair and tugged gently.

“You have no fucking idea how much I’ve missed having you, querida…” he said, placing a kiss between her legs.

“I miss you so much, Javi…”

“No, you don’t know,” he insisted, angered that she would claim to have missed him after she left him. If you missed me so much, why didn’t you come back? He pressed his thumb on her clit, pressed a bit harder than she liked and she whined.

“I’m sorry!”

“You left. You walked out on me, didn’t tell me shit and I was fucking miserable,” he confessed, passing on the hurt right back to her. She mumbled a few more apologies, but nothing would be enough until he got to take her again.

“Gonna let me show you how much I missed you, baby?” He asked, placing kisses on her belly. “Gonna let me make love to you?”

“Yes, yes, please. Need youuu—” she cried as he pushed the cotton of her panty aside to lick her.

“You need me?” He asked, licking her again. God, how he missed his favorite taste. “Did you miss my cock like I missed this pussy, baby?”

She nodded, but that wasn’t enough for him. He needed to know from her lips, needed her to scream for the entire city to know how she missed his touch. He pushed her legs back together and pulled her panties off before setting it aside. He wrapped his lips around her and sucked on her clit, exacting the sweetest little sounds from her.

“I need to hear you.”

“Missed you, Javi. Missed your cock,” she confessed, tightening around his finger as she did. He wished he had his cock inside her as he made her tell him how much she missed it. He would pull more confessions out of her with a promise of an orgasm and he knew she would say anything he wanted.

“You have ruined me, mi amor. Can’t make myself cum just as good anymore without this pussy. Hate my own fucking hand.” He praised before he lapped and laved at her core, licking her up as he made her wetter and wetter for him.

“I sneaked your panties out of the laundry hamper, took it with me to Medellin like a fucking creep,” he confessed, unsure if her cry of his name was the work of his fingers or the confession of his depravity. “The pink one with the stripes, covered in you from when you touched yourself, when you kept this cunt to yourself and kept me away. I needed to smell it when I wrapped my fist around my cock and imagined I was fucking you.”

She clenched around his finger and that sent a rush through him. “That make you feel good, Cariño? Knowing you’ve turned me into a fucking pervert?”

“Javi, baby please…” she cried as he busied his lips once again with her cunt. He would’ve left her pussy lips for the lips that cried his name so prettily but she kept him down with her hand on his hair. She fucked herself on his fingers, gasping when he added a third one to stretch her out further.

His idle hand traveled up her body, its every nerve ending enjoying having her tremble beneath him once again. He took his time, roaming everywhere, feeling every inch of skin that he would soon trap under him as he fucked her for the first in a long time. This was the longest they’d gone without each other ever since they decided to pursue what they had for real. Even with his job being the way it was, he managed to come to Bogota every now and then to have her.

She wrapped her legs around him, trapping his head with her thighs as she dug the heel of her foot into his back. He growled into her cunt as she thrust up into him, fucking his mouth and his fingers at the same time. She still wanted him in between her legs if nowhere else and if he had to, he would fuck her into staying with him forever.

A few more minutes of licking and sucking and she was pulsating around his fingers, her thighs setting enough pressure on him to make him fear that she might crush him. With a cry of his name, she came for him, coating him in her juices. He drank up all of her, not showing any restraint.

She pulled him up by his hair and he obeyed, kissing her lips to bless her with her deliciousness. He dipped his tongue into her mouth, meeting her tongue as she moaned with her own taste. He placed his hand over her collarbones, smearing her all over the place before he crept up and held her neck as he relished in the vibrations of her moans.

He gasped into the kiss as she wrapped her hand around him through his boxers. He grabbed her wrist and held her in place, keeping her from stroking his cock. It’d been too long since he had her and he wasn’t going to waste this morning by coming in his fucking underwear.

“Let me have you, baby,” he begged, dipping down to her neck to lick up her cum that he had smeared over her. He wasn’t going to let any of her go to waste.

“Yes, fuck!” She reached into his boxers and took him out, painfully hard and already leaking precum. He licked and sucked the skin until it was marred from his attention.

“Wanna be on top, please,” she begged and he rolled them around, acquiescing to her. She sat up on him, her knees planted on either side of him before taking her t-shirt off to reveal her pretty tits. Before he could reach up for her himself, she took command in taking his hand and placing it on her breast.

“Missed this so much, Javi,” she said as she stroked his cock. He kneaded her breast in his hand, enjoying having the ample flesh in his hands.

“Need to be inside you, please,” he breathed, trying as much as he could to clear his thoughts for if he focused on her hand around his cock and how gorgeous she looked on him, he would burst in an instant.

She obliged, adjusting herself over him before living him up with herself. She let him inside her wet heat, just the tip, before pulling back up. He groaned at the loss of contact, biting down on his lip as she repeated the motion, giving him just a bit of her pussy before pulling away once again.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Don’t fucking tease. I haven’t had you in the longest time, darling. I need—ssss” he hissed as she took him in once more.

“I’m not teasing,” she gasped silently as she allowed a little more of him inside her. “So big, Javi. Haven’t stretched me out like this in s-so long,” she praised as she swallowed him bit by bit. “So fucking thick, gonna ruin me.”

“That’s right, baby… You love this cock, don’t you? Can’t go for anyone else ever again. I’ve made you mine,” he said, moving his other hand to her clit, moaning when she rewarded his touch by gripping him tighter.

“Mmmm love your cock,” she moaned as she struggled to take more of him even though he’d gotten her nice and wet with his fingers and mouth. Poor thing needed time to get used to his girth again after having gone such a long time without him.

“You are so beautiful like this… Look so fucking sinful trying so hard to take all of me, sitting on top of me like that and letting me touch your tits,” he praised as he played with her nipples, pinching and tugging and rolling between his fingers to make her tighten around him. She might have been on top, taking the reins, but he still had control. He knew her body like he knew the communas where he chased men, knew every shortcut, memorized every path, knew where to go to corner and capture them. He could elicit every desired response from her by touching her in the right places and saying the right words. She belonged to him, body and soul, and he enjoyed using every inch of her body to remind her to whom she belonged.

He let her set a slow torturous pace as she adjusted to him, groaning as she finally swallowed him to the hilt. It was pure bliss to be surrounded whole by her, to feel all of her wet, velvety heat. He felt her all over, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head and it was everything. She was everything.

It was sweet torment to be exposed to the cold air of the fan only to be swallowed back up by her hot cunt. He needed her so fucking bad, needed her not just for the carnal pleasures that sex brought but the feeling of home when he found himself buried in her— he needed her to devour him whole and keep him right there, inside her, all hers and nothing else. Only the Javier that belonged to her was worth existing. Everything else he’d become in over three decades of life was insignificant.

Inside the walls of their home, on their marital bed, there was no world outside. She brought him the delusions of safety and he luxuriated in it, allowing himself to forget everything that wasn’t her. The world was just her tight cunt, her tits under his hands and the filthy sounds from her lips as she slowly went from a woman in control to a writhing, moaning mess. He met her halfway with his thrusts when she struggled to keep up on top of him. He sat himself up and pulled her to his chest, giving in as she stole his lips. It was hurried and sloppy as they explored familiar territory, still as excited as the first time they kissed each other. Practiced lovers, savoring the familiar comfort of each other’s lips yet excited to find something new each time.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he begged, holding her face in his hand and making her look at him in the hopes that she would see just how much he meant it. “I can’t, without you… I— I c-can’t, mi amor— Please…”

“I w-won’t,” she managed to stutter out as she grew breathless.

“Promise me,” he demanded even though what he wanted to do was beg.

She opened and closed her mouth, unable to form words as he set a relentless pace, taking over as he thrust into her and thumbed her clit.

“Fucking promise me!” He growled, forcing himself into her in hard, merciless thrusts.

“Aaaah! Ja—”

“You’re mine. You’re fucking mine, get it? This isn’t— We aren’t just da-dating. I’m your husband. You can’t just leave like that.” He forced himself deep and inadvertently hit her cervix. She jolted in his arms and let out a pained cry, letting him know his mistake and he pressed a kiss to her cheek in a silent apology.

“Sorr— hnnng! ‘m sorry Jav—”

A tear slipped down her cheek and he kissed it, tasting her. He breathed her name the way a dying man would call for his god in desperation. He prayed her name, each syllable a request of Save me, never leave me, breathe life into this wretched man.

She pulsated around him, collapsing on his chest and relying on him to hold her up as she reached her peak. She was deadweight in his arms and he held her tight as he reamed into her, her back arching and her hair cascading down her back, shaking from his hard thrusts. She took him along with her, erasing his world and making herself his everything. She had dragged him to the peak of the world and now she was pulling him down and he went with her willingly, taking everything she gave him, getting lost in her body. She was like a breath of air after drowning for eternity, she gave him life, gave him meaning even though she’d been the one to rob him of it.

He wiped her tears and kissed her all over, showering her with all the love he had for her. But it wasn’t enough. No matter how much he poured out, he couldn’t show her the depth of his feelings for her. No words compared, no kisses came close to the place she had in his life. No matter how many times he told her he loved her, she would never know just how much.

“Te amo, Javi,” she broke off from their kiss to whisper. He collapsed on the bed and brought her down with him. He pecked her lips once and then twice before setting his gaze on her eyes.

“Si me amas…” he paused to take a breath. “¿por qué me dejaste? ¿Por qué?”

She looked down at her lap and fidgeted with her rings as she spoke, “Y-yo no quiero perderte.”

He shook his head as he said, “No me perderás. Yo soy tuyo.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest over his heart. “Tuyo.”

She scoffed, her hand curling over his chest. “More Escobar’s than mine at this point.”

“What?”

She shook her head and looked away, avoiding his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to— I shouldn’t complain.”

“No. No, you talk to me. What is this about?”

“We’ll fight if we talk about it. Like Steve and Connie.”

“Do you…? Do you want to leave…? Like Connie did?” He asked, unable to steady his shaking voice. Three weeks with her gone was hell enough. If she wanted to take off permanently, he didn’t know what he would do with himself. Hunting the hijo de puta had become his purpose in life over the past few years. But he now had another important purpose, a woman he’d made promises to. Promises he was insistent on keeping.

She shook her head.

He sighed as he tucked her hair behind her ear, needing to see her without anything in the way. It was fucking frustrating, not knowing what worried her so much that she couldn’t even talk to him about it, that she chose instead to run away from him. But he had to be kind if he wanted her to open up.

He began by caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. Gently, like soothing a wounded child. “Baby… If you don’t tell me what this is about, how am I going to fix it? Hmm?”

“It can’t be fixed,” she said, same as that day.

It took him a moment to know how to answer her.

“When I asked you to marry me, you asked that I give you all of me. Have I not kept that promise?” He asked, knowing that he had so far. No matter how ugly, no matter how broken, he brought home all of himself. To her credit, she accepted him just as he was.

She nodded and said, “you have.”

“Now I’m asking. I want everything, too. Whatever you’re hiding from me that has you worried will make us fight. Is it about my job?”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she nodded, head hung low as tears spilled out.

“No, no, nothing to be sorry about. Just talk to me. What about my job?”

“S-scared.” His chest tightened at the trembling of her voice. Relationships were not something he was comfortable with after he left Lorraine and it was alright for his dangerous new lifestyle as an agent in Colombia. There was no one else he was putting in danger because of his line of work. But then he had to go and fall in love.

It was one of the reasons he proposed to her as soon as he could. Being his wife offered her more legal protection than did being his girlfriend. And knowing that she was it for him, he saw no point in waiting. But she was still afraid for her safety.

He reached out quickly to reassure her.

“I’m here, okay? Our home is safe. Those bastards won’t dare touch you here, won’t dare touch a US federal agent’s wife. I got you,” he whispered into her ear and rubbed her back, hoping to help her relax in his arms. She didn’t. She just tensed.

“‘m not worried about m-myself,” she said softly. “Ever since Steve got kidnapped, I—”

He took in a deep breath and pulled her in closer even though there was no gap between them. What was he supposed to do? Tell her he was safe? Lying wasn’t something he was ready to do in their marriage. Even if he did, she wouldn’t believe him after she had to comfort a panicking Connie. He had the same job as Steve, faced the same dangers. It could be him next. And he might not be lucky enough to come home.

The CNP guys were in much greater danger than he was as an American. Call it gringo privilege. But he couldn’t make promises. He couldn’t promise that a jump from the roof wouldn’t end up terribly. He couldn’t promise that he would never catch a stray bullet. He couldn’t promise that a crazy motherfucker wouldn’t target him for the bragging rights over nabbing a US agent.

Small town sheriff Javier Peña hadn’t thought of all this when he signed up for this job in his mid twenties. There was just an opportunity to run away from a town that hated him— a town he hated more for how it smothered him from all sides as he grew and grew yet it remained small, insignificant. It was his chance to do something great, to be the good guy fighting big bag guys and he took it. He hadn’t been warned that he’d one day be sat holding his sobbing wife, speechless because he couldn’t make the most basic promise— to fucking stay alive.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, the tremble in her voice tugging at his heartstrings.

“No, no. I’m sorry.” Sorry I can’t give you more. Sorry I made you cry. He pulled her into his arms and sat on the couch, cradling her in his lap more for his comfort than hers.

“I shouldn’t complain. I know I married a man with a dangerous job. I signed up for all this, but… ‘m so scared, Javi. I can’t sleep at night. I wake up from nightmares and I lose you every single time. I get scared when I get a call because what if—” she stopped, breaking down into sobs.

There was nothing he could do to fix this, she was correct. The thing that was causing her all this agony was his whole life.

“Do you want me to quit my job?” He asked, regretting it the minute the question left his lips. What if she said yes? What if that was the only way to fix their marriage? He would quit. There was no question about that. But that would mean that almost a decade of his life’s work would be worth nothing. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Resentment would break anything they had left between them.

Please don’t ask that of me.

She shook her head and he had to keep himself from letting out a huge sigh of relief.

“Do you know I have students who— I shouldn’t tell you. I’m not on the field like you and I don’t know all the things you know, but I see everyday how he’s fucking ruined lives. I want you to catch that motherfucker. You’re in this fight and I’m not letting you leave it without crushing his blood empire. I just don’t want us to be collateral damage. I can’t bear losing you whether it is to divorce or a bullet. I can’t—” she brought her hand to her lips, biting on her newly shaped nails.

He swallowed, tugging her hand away from her mouth and giving it a kiss. “I can’t make promises about the latter,” he said softly, unable to look her in the eyes as he said it. He didn’t want to know what he did to her with those words. “You know I can’t. But when I die, whether it’s tomorrow or 40 years from now, I’ll die your husband. I don’t do divorce. You might think it’s not a big deal for me, the guy who left his first fiancé at the altar. But trust me, you’re a catch and there’s no way I’m letting you escape”

She laughed and nuzzled into his neck. He rested his head on hers and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’m not joking. You should be very scared, baby. As far as I’m concerned, I’m it for you. Won’t let you leave no matter what you do.”

“Yeah?” She laughed, her eyes glinting with tears but also something new. Her lips quirked up in a mischievous smile. “What if I slept with a bunch of guys?”

He raised an eyebrow, reeling the unhinged jealous little man in his heart to join her in whatever this was that made her smile through her tears. “Good for them. Best pussy they’ll ever have. I mean, I will beat them to death for touching you. But you’re still my wife. Not divorcing you.”

“What if I fucked Steve?” She challenged, raising an eyebrow.

He knew what she was doing. She was making it personal, putting a face to the act and making said face a very familiar one. But he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

“Last thing he’ll ever do in his life. I’ll kill him and Connie will help me hide his body.”

“Mhmm? What if…..?” She trailed, looking into the distance as she stroked her invisible beard. “What if I let someone else knock me up?”

“You bitch!”

She gasped and shoved at his chest. “How dare you call me a bitch!?”

“How dare you even think of letting another man do that?”

“I won’t actually do that!” She defended, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m just trying to get a raise out of you.”

“And you did,” he supplied, making her scoff.

“How about…? Okay! What if I fucked Escobar?”

“Shit, I would tell everyone!” He laughed. “My wife? Getting that close to that piece of shit and living to tell the story? Yeah, I’d be on the rooftops with a megaphone. Oh and I’ll kill him. Of course. Goes without saying.”

“Well, you were gonna kill him anyway. What will you do to him for touching your wife?” She asked, twirling his overgrown hair around her finger.

Was this…? Noooo! He was just joking, but she seems to like the idea of him killing men for wanting her.

“Baby, what’s wrong with you?” He asked, laughing. She surprised him every goddamn day.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” she licked her lips and drew shaped on his chest with her index finger. “There should be an explanation for why I signed up for all this.”

“You like this, don’t you?” He asked, lowering the register of his voice the way she liked as he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You want me to possess you, to hurt anyone who would want you that way I have you. You like that I can be a dangerous man.”

She shivered, but quickly stabilised herself, looking very blasé as she spoke, “Huh, that answers my question. I always wondered what kind of idiot would be with Escobar. I guess women just like to fuck a powerful man. And money. She’d gotta be in it for the money.”

“She married him before he got rich, actually. And it’s not just women who are attracted to powerful men,” he added, letting her know just how much he liked when she was in a position of power.

“Men too? You’re gonna tell me you want to fuck Escobar?” She asked, making him laugh. He pinched her bum, making her squeal and attempt to get off him. He pulled her back in immediately, not ready to lose contact.

“When I came to your class, I sat in the back the entire time. I enjoyed seeing you in your element, leading the discussion, getting a big room full of people to listen to you. And your ass in a pencil skirt. If I was your student, I would wank off every day thinking of you” he groaned, his cock twitching inside her at the mental image.

“Oh my god!” She exclaimed before hitting him playfully.

“Whaaat? I feel bad for those fuckers in your class, having to talk about Frankenstein’s monster to impress their hot little literature professor.”

“Don’t sexualise my job!” She looked positively scandalised. Like he’d suggested that she let him fuck her on the streets.

“Uh huh? Now you know how it feels? What was that you asked me for your birthday?” He teased. “On yds, the little interrogation fantasy. You’ve been begging me to tie you up and interrogate you.”

She hid her smile from him, covering her face with her hands, but he pried them off to see her looking so sweetly shy at being reminded of the depraved things she wanted him to do to her. “You don’t have to do it,” she said, shy and quiet and she played with her rings.

“Mmm thank you baby, but I’m gonna make your dreams come true. Just be happy I’m not CIA. Cause CIA has some terrible interrogation methods. They’ll fucking waterboard you.”

“Oh my god! Okay this isn’t fun anymore,” she said, getting off him, but he pulled her right back onto his cock, laughing as he caught her expression.

“Let me go!”

“No, no sorry. I shouldn’t talk about the CIA in bed, they’re such a turn off.”

“You think that’s why I’m trying to escape?? Javi, women don’t like talking about waterboarding with a dick inside them.”

“Okay, okay, I know. Just stay in bed. I have today off and I need to be inside you,” he said, rubbing her back in an attempt to coax her into foregoing her household responsibilities for a lazy day in bed with him.

“I have work to do. Papers to grade and clothes to wash. Oh and some pervert,” she said, poking his chest a few times. “has been stealing my panties so I have to go wash them before he gets to them.”

“Oh please, it was just one pair,” he lied, looking away quickly but it wasn’t enough for him to get away with it.

She squinted her eyes at him and he relented. “Fine. It was three. Pink one with the stripes, blue lace ones and a white cotton panty.”

“Pervert!”

“Or I’m just really in love with my wife. You should see the sweet side of it. You don’t know how other guys act on the field. It’s like as soon as they’re in Medellin, they aren’t married.”

“Uh huh?” She said as she tilted her head, her tone suggesting that she wasn’t convinced by his words. “And I’m supposed to be grateful that you aren’t sleeping around? Pendejo!” She punctuated her curse with a slap to his chest.

“That’s not what I meant!” He defended, taking her slapping hand and giving it a kiss.

“Sure, Cabrón.”

He laughed, amused at how adorable she was when angry. He pulled her down to lie down with him, her head on his chest and his hand in her hair. Mornings like these had become so rare. Even without their period of separation, they didn’t have quality time together. Work always called, always overwhelmed and left him with very little to give as a husband. Being too tired to do anything else, he couldn’t even take her out anywhere for dinner. But that would change tonight.

“I made dinner reservations for us. Are you free tonight?”

He’d booked it a while back, but he didn’t know if she would want to go with him after she left. And he didn’t want to promise her a date night before he knew for sure that he would have the day off from work. She did not take it terribly when he had to calculate on her for work, but something told him it wasn’t good for a marriage to keep breaking promises.

“Hmm, I don’t know. This pendejo said he’ll paint my nails and did a half assed job. I might have to book a nail appointment for the night,” she teased, making him laugh. He’d completely forgotten that their activities were preceded by his request to paint her nails.

“I’ll finish the job now,” he said, getting up, but she pushed him back down and trapped him in a loving hug.

“Later. I just wanna stay like this a little longer. Feels good…”

“I like when you hold me like this, mi amor,” he confessed, his voice softening as he opened himself up to allow himself to bask in the euphoria that holding her to his chest brought him.

“I- it calms me down. I need to hear your heart beating. I wake up from bad dreams sometimes and I can’t fall back asleep if I don’t lie down like this.”

He froze. He had no idea she had nightmares. “You never told me.”

“Didn’t want to worry you.”

He said her name softly, making her look up at him from his chest.

“You have to tell me these things,” he said, moving her hair out of the way so he could have an unobstructed view of her. Her features were soft, her eyes open, vulnerable.

“You have a lot on your plate already… I don’t want to be one of your problems.”

“Jesus,” he swore before sighing. “You’re not- I’ll never think of you as a problem. I understand why you worry. It’s not unwarranted. I would never ask you to hide your feelings for me. I thought we talked about these things. You’re the one who’s always telling me that we should communicate about difficult things. What happened to that?”

“Do you remember when I made you choose? Either date me for real or stop coming over for anything other than sex?”

He hummed in response, encouraging her to continue. They'd been fooling around for around two months back then and one night when he was dressing himself to leave, she forced him to confront how he’d been treating her— he’d been giving her mixed signals, pulling her in and pushing her away. He’d act like her boyfriend one minute but get distant the next and she was understandably annoyed.

“And you said you wanted to date me but you warned me that your job was dangerous and that attachments were a weakness. I didn’t want to be your weakness, I still—”

He shook her head, interrupting her mid-sentence, “I was talking out of my ass, I was just scared. And it’s different now. We’re—”

“Yeah but when I think of you strapping a gun and badge on yourself to go out and get shot at by those malparidos, I want to stop you,” she choked on her words, getting up off his chest and hugging her knees to her chest. “I told you I could handle it. That day and the day you asked me to marry you. But, I can’t. I can’t handle it. Ever since Steve was kidnapped- and I know you said he wasn’t in any real danger, but fuck! It was terrifying to see Connie like that and I couldn’t help but worry and put myself in her place. And I couldn’t stop thinking about every terrible thing that could happen to you and I just wanted to lock you up at home. So I left- because I don’t want to be your weakness. But I can’t be brave, I can’t be strong.”

It broke his heart to know that behind the scenes, behind her easy smiles and her strong shoulders he leaned on everyday, there was so much fear. So much insecurity. There was shame too. Had he been more attentive, he would’ve known without her having to tell him, without her having to run away.

He sat up, pulled her close and placed a kiss on her head. “You are brave and you’ve been so strong, putting up with more of my shit than you need to… Sometimes I think I won’t get through this with my soul intact if it weren’t for you. So never think that you’re my weakness.”

She listened, her eyebrows furrowed and eyes never leaving him. She bit down on her lip, pulling at the skin with her teeth, something she did when anxious. He reached over and thumbed her lip, not wanting to wait until she started bleeding.

“I… I’ve put you in a difficult position, but I would never ask you to hide your fears for my comfort. And you leaving definitely did not make me stronger. Just scared the hell out of me. I thought I’d done something so shit that you’d left for good.”

“Sorry I left… I just—”

“I’m sorry you couldn’t talk to me. Not like that would’ve solved anything,” he scoffed, rubbing his eyes. “Nothing short of stopping that bastard is going to solve this.”

“I know, I know…” she sighed.

“I’ll get him,” he affirmed, taking her hands in his. All the things he’d done since he landed in Colombia, all the things he’d lost because of that man… To think he might lose her too… It was chilling. He’d lost friends, made enemies, became the guy everyone called an asshole for not cutting corners, for not putting up with anything that wasn’t right. He’d lost so much, but she wasn’t going to be one of them. He wouldn’t allow it.

Javier Peña wouldn’t rest until Escobar was history.

.

.

.

Series Masterlist

[kaiba-cave]

You wanna hear a freaking story? My parents used to have a neighbour named Nicole. She decided to sell her house and just start living in a big van and basically just road trip everywhere, spent most of her time in the States. About a year ago we started noticing that her Instagram posts were getting kind of weird. Like, crazy kind of weird. We actually were wondering if she had some sort of brain tumour or something. Apparently it was just thyroid issues though? And since then she seemed okay.

So like two or three weeks ago she showed up at my mom’s house just to kind of visit the neighborhood again, came inside and had a normal conversation with my mom and all. But then my mom started noticing her van drive by like, every single day after that. Sometimes she’d pull over and sit there a few minutes then drive away again.

Apparently yesterday my mom saw her come and park in the neighbour’s driveway (at the house where she used to live). Said neighbour saw her on their cameras put something at their front door so he called the across the road neighbour (Margaret) to have her check because he wasn’t home.

Well before Margaret could even look outside, she heard a super load crash at her front door. It wasn’t a knock it was a loud crash sound. When she opened her door Nicole was there swinging something around that was wrapped in a sweater… and when Margaret talked to her she just sort of mumbled and walked away, went and took back whatever she left at the front door of the other house, got in her van and left again.

Then later when my mom was going somewhere she found a purse hanging on the outside door handle of our house. She took it inside and opened it and it had a broken bottle of mayonnaise, a jar of honey, a tube with a joint in it, an empty glasses case, a bunch of random notes (my mom didn’t read them though), and a 2022 planner in it. The planner was wrapped up the way you’d wrap a bow around a Christmas present, except the bow was made out of plastic wrap… so of course my mom is like… wtf is this?

We’re thinking Nicole for some reason smashed her purse against Margaret’s door and that’s why the mayonnaise bottle was broken in her purse. WHY she had a bottle of mayo and a jar of honey in a purse or why she left it hanging on my mom’s front door, I have no idea.

Her Instagram posts have also been getting weird again, and she’s gotten weirdly religious or “spiritual” as she calls it. She posted a picture of a random lady at the beach saying she thought she had a bomb attached to her. She posts a lot of weird screenshots of text messages with no captions or context too. When she does have a caption it usually makes no sense.

My mom messaged her just saying “hey I think I have your purse…” but hasn’t heard anything from her.

Margaret was also telling my mom that she was talking to another lady who used to be good friends with Nicole, and she was saying that when Nicole visits her she says some really strange things. Stuff about like, pedophile rings and shit. She said she’s actually kind of scared of her now and they were really good friends.

It’s just a guess and hopefully we’re wrong but the neighbours who now live in the house that Nicole used to own are a gay couple. And you know how some super ignorant people have this stupid belief that all gay guys are pedophiles? 😐 Hopefully it’s nothing like that, never knew her to be homophobic when she lived there but she wasn’t having any mental problems back then. Plus with this weird “spiritual” stuff she’s always on about, who knows.

I’m glad they have cameras because my mom and Margaret don’t. (I keep saying Margaret needs to get them though because there’s another guy in the neighborhood who has some sort of mental problem that causes him to walk around yelling at himself and/or nothing (that we can see), who goes to her house multiple times a day to see if she’ll give him money. Then he’ll like, walk around her house and pick up a stick or two to make it look like he did some work for it. And Margaret is like an 80 year old lady that lives alone with just a dog that’s old af too. But that’s a whole other thing lmao.) I just told my mom make sure you lock the doors and if she comes over again, don’t freaking answer it. 😭

Anyway. Me thinks Nicole either needs to go to a brain doctor again or she BADLY needs the mental health ward at the hospital. She’s for sure got something going on. I will not be surprised if she shows up again and cops end up being called.

[dungeonegg]

Kust wanted to give you all a quick little update about how things have been going. This is gonna be a bit long so I'll do the cut thing here.

A couple weeks ago, my mom asks me if we can afford car payments to go up because she wants to trade in the leased car for a new car. I tell her if it's really what she wants, we'll figure it out. So the dealership orders in a new car for her. Then three days ago, she shows me the back of her phone because she noticed an issue with it.

Not sure if the photo will post but if not, the glass over her camera on the back if somehow perfectly shattered over one of the lenses and a bit in a few other spots too. Major safety issue. She did end up getting glass feom it in her finger at one point. So on top of a new car, new phone needed. So off to the provider we go the next day to get a new phone. During that process, mom decides we're updating mine as well since neither of us have updated in like five years or so. Because it was late when we got there, they couldn't activate or transfer things same day so we get an appointment to come back the next day to do that.

So yesterday was the appointment. I let my coworkers know that hey, need to leave pretty much right when we close to go to this appointment as it's like a 30 minute drive to get there. Around 230 or so my one coworker comes back from lunch with a thing of canned air to clean his station which is right next to mine. He then decides to experiment with it by holding it upside down and spraying coins. Not a big deal. Next thing j know, he's frozen his pen.

Apparently the combined smell of chemically frozen ink and way too much canned air in a sort of small space was too much for me. So I start coughing. Trying to help someone cash their check and I keep having to stop to cough. But get that done and go to the other room to put away cash. Bear in mind, at this stage I've already told coworker he's never allowed canned air again and he's apologized several times. Can't stop coughing. Go to break room to sit for a moment and get something to drink, help with the cough. One of my other coworkers is there and just kinda staring at me like "dude, wtf" so I tell him what happened. He immediately gets worried and tells me to sit and do I want him to kick first coworker, because he will. Give mom a call to let her know what happened. During the call, start trying to clear my throat. By this point, I'm coughing, hacking, and gagging. Apparently I can give the exorcist a run for their money, according to my coworker and it sounds like I'm possessed by the devil. Nearly throw up. Mom tells me to stop outside so I can get some fresh air, which helped a bit so I go back inside to sort money and sell to vault.

Continue coughing. So I go make some tea and send possibly the most British texts (my mother is 1/2 British, 1/2 Irish) I have ever sent in my life: 'making tea. Coworker is never allowed canned air again'. Normally when I make tea, there's milk and sugar in it but since the only milk there is expired by three months, I threw out the milk and just added a TON of honey with the sugar. Not my favorite taste but not bad and it seriously helped so much. My poor coworker who'd brought the canned air kept apologizing. Later, I was telling my boss what happened only to wind up explaining that you're not supposed to shake canned air, which apparently she has done every time she uses it.

Anyway, get out of work, go to phone appointment, that takes about an hour, then off to dealership so we can get the new car. We were there for a couple hours to get paperwork and everything finished up. Luckily there wasn't too much because mom had been earlier and done a bunch of it but car wasn't ready then which is why we had to go back. Have been sporadically coughing the entire time.

Did manage to get a bit of progress on a little drabble thing for Dungeon Egg that I'm using as a way to get a better grasp of some of the characters. Honestly it deals with a bit of a spoiler for one of them so probably won't be releasing it for a while still but I will release it eventually.

I promise, I'm still working on the demo! Not entirely sure when I'll have it up hut hoping to do so within the next couple weeks or so. No promises other than you guys will know as soon as it's available!

[draftmare]

Some of you may have noticed the sudden lack of pony on the blog lately, and it’s because unfortunately we have been working through some soundness issues that cropped up while I was off for my surgery. Vet has been out twice now. First time around we did a full lameness eval and imaging on her left stifle. Imaging showed not a huge difference between the left and right, but vet recommended we go ahead with injecting the stifle to see if we could get the lameness under control. At that point the lameness eval was showing a bit of a “chicken and egg” relationship between her being sore in her loin and lame in her stifle.

After 10-ish days she was looking just as lame as she had looked at the eval, so I reached out to the vet again. 10 days was when I was told I would start to know if the injection was going to be the “magic cure” we were hoping for. Vet recommended we x-ray the hock and go from there, so we set that up. On Saturday (three-weeks post injection) I noticed a significant improvement in soundness on the lunge line, but still not 100%. Monday the vet came out. Hock x-rays showed fairly normal hocks for a 14 year old. There were some minor changes, but no smoking gun, and nothing worth injecting. We also ruled out soft tissue injury based on other clinical presentations/signs. Vet noted that she felt Sydney was significantly more sore in her loin area than she has been at the initial lameness eval and suggested chiropractic adjustment and acupuncture treatment. She then gave me her blessing to ride the following day to see if things had progressed at all.

The ride on Tuesday (yesterday) Sydney felt great walk/trot (she had looked and felt great this entire time at the walk and trot), but canter still felt like garbage, so obviously still not sound. Not that I was expecting one chiro adjustment to fix all of our problems. Vet wants me to get a massage therapist involved and to also have my saddle triple checked by my saddle fitter. We think my swap to the Bates dressage saddle (it has now been side lined and I am back in the County for any test riding/light riding) may be our smoking gun, maybe, or maybe we are both just grasping at straws because the imaging for the entire leg is coming back squeaky clean. Our only other option, really, is to start blocking that leg and Sydney HATES needles near that leg. Like, has to be stoned out of her mind before a needle can get near that leg, and horses have to be fully awake during blocking procedures (she partially degloved that leg several years ago, and then re-injured it in THE EXACT SAME SPOT because WTF HOW two more times that required stitches and is now a pill about needles near her hind legs).

[imjustherethatsit]

Cannot sleep, but I know being on my phone doesn’t help because of the light emitting from the screen but I also know that if I journal and get all my thoughts out then I might be able to rest better because the reason I can’t sleep is because I have so much fuckshit on my mind about this man let’s be real I was gonna try and pretend like it was more than just him but yeah really it’s just him like I had a dream that he was fuking other girls from the bar but then also it’s like wow who cares I definitely should not care but also it’s like am I over here worried and concerned about him when he’s actually just got other girls over there or is he actually really just going through it right now i mean he has told me twice now not to leave him alone and not to quit messaging him three times actually but i just really feel like annoying being the only one in the conversation lol like he responds now like once a day MAYbE and thats if im harassing him but like a week ago we were literally messaging each other every hour on the hour and now i cant help but think like oh all he wanted waa sex or even worse is that he wanted more but after the sex he decided against it which is super annoying because i never even wanted all of this all i wanted was one fast quickie that first day but no he wanted to start telling me his whole life story and wait a whole week and get to know each other and now of course im hooked i mean he even freakin ate me out and we made out n shit likr wtf you dont do rhat stuff in our situations ugh im just so mad because like i knew from the beginning that you liked me i havent mentjoned it to you yet but when you shook my hand you literally gasped and said wow with a big silly smile lol then glanced at me when u said you used to be a player lmao anyway i love ur heart and i love that u love my smile and you do make cute kids so much so that if im being completely honest there was a teeny tiny part of me that did wish i had gotten pregnant with ur baby because our kids would be absolutely beautiful like without a doubt I just want you so much rn it’s ridiculous I’m so frkn wet rn just like you made me tht one day I just want more of you round two so bad need to make up for that day but then there’s the other side of all the shit you’re going through right now I want to be there for you specifically but I also don’t want to get too involved but also if you’re being honest then you really don’t have too many other people to turn to which is concerning because I don’t want something bad to happen and then have no one around checking on you idk I’m the worst best person there ever was

[mcrmadness]

Gosh I feel like a weird cartoon or sketch comedy character right now. My luck is often very... selective, but today? Today apparently my luck really favours me.

One: I have decided to dye my hair this week but I realized: I just ran out of rubber gloves, and I can't go to a store to fetch new ones because my car is at a car repair place rn. So I decided to check my kitchen cupboards just in case and lo and behold - I did find EXACTLY three rubber gloves from there, of which 2 are clean enough so that I can actually use them when dyeing my hair! So I can dye my hair tonight after all!

Two: I have to do three different voluntary courses at school, they all are online courses and chose an art course as one of them. I contacted the teacher and I can do just one exercise of them and I can get the full course marked done with 10-15 photos and a couple of drawings, and THAT is going to be an easy peacy! The only difficult part will be: choosing which photos to use because I have a shitton of photos!

Third: Earlier this month, my car did not pass the annual checkup. Something something brakes etc. The man who replaced stuff about the brakes also found another thing that's broken: in the power steering. Spare parts can cost over 300 Euros and he was not able to find them anywhere. I'm already a poor student struggling to pay even this bill, let alone this power steering part. Turns out the other person who originally sold this car to me 12 years ago - HE HAS THOSE PARTS TOO. He might have a new one as well, and we can buy it from him, and I sure hope it's not as expensive as buying this spare part from a car repair shop.

But the fact this man was able to locate this issue is insane to me. I have had this car for 12 years and about half of that time, I have been saying there is something wrong with the steering. It makes weird rumbling noise sometimes, and it sometimes feels like the car is possessed. When standing with the motor running, the wheel sometimes starts turning itself, and occasionally it has also felt like that on the road. Thank goodness it has NEVER felt off on the road when going high speed because that shit would be extremely dangerous and scary. But still, for years I have been saying that this rumbling noise from the power steering does NOT sound right. Years ago, the power steering has also turned itself off out of blue. Now, my car is French so many things about it is electric (tho it's a normal car, not an electric one), including the power steering. So I always brushed it aside as nothing big after it came back because this car always has something wrong with the electronics. I have the replace the headlight bulbs regularly because it keeps breaking them so often, when I still drove more every month, I had to replace the bulbs maybe 1-2 times a year. There's probably not a single bulb I haven't changed to this car (apart from maybe the interior light).

So even tho it sucks that this repair will cost more than what it originally should have cost, I'm still so happy that finally someone was able to find the reason for why the power steering is what it is. Mind you, I have even used it at car repair shops and asked wtf is this noise my car does, and I got the car back without them really finding anything meanwhile talking to me as if I was crazy and hearing things. So I'm so happy that this gets fixed soon, and I'm looking forward to seeing whether I will feel a difference in the steering once the power steering is replaced with one that is not broken! Also very much looking forward to seeing how the brakes feel because for a few years now, I have been saying the brakes feel weird too but the annual checkups never had anything to say about them until now, so I never did anything about those. Also because car repairing is expensive AF and I have exective dysfunction, so I haven't even done any annual repairs which. Is not good either. But I've only got stuff fixed when something has broken down or the annual checkup was a fail due to some part needing fixing or replacing.

I did not mean to ramble so much about my car but here we are. Anyway, it feels good when stuff sometimes goes well for once. Better knock on wood cos I am still that superstitious.

[hackedintucson]

AT&T…

Good ol Blue Bell, ever watchful and listening. Company dates all the way back to the invention of the telephone in 1877 by Alexander Graham Bell. I wonder what he would make of it today. I wonder if hacking and harassing people ever entered his mind.

Anyways, three years ago I was developing my first webcam model website and had a AT&T business account when I had 4 iPhones and a Nighthawk hotspot go missing. I had Assurion as well as Apple One insurance coverage on all devices. Did you know there are two different kinds of AT&T retail stores; corporate and non-corporate. After my devices were stolen I went to a AT&T corporate store and was told my bill had been run up to $5,000. They promised me that they would help me but there’s was a catch I had to pay them $5,000. WTF. I will add more details here later but I finally reached the right department at AT&T. They told me there would be no insurance coverage because the policy was only active for 30 days after the loss had occurred. But what they will provide me is all of the transactional level detail from all the devices on my account. This will include incoming and outgoing telephone calls (with numbers) as well as data usage by device. I think it should be very interesting to review these details and see what shakes out.

Here is the thing picture rock hacking crew, I paid a shit ton of money to all these communications, internet and housing companies. Now I have some time where I will not be homeless and feel sort of safe. I know I am still being hacked but I have power, food, shelter and can even brush my teeth and take a daily shower. We are going to see how much of the past I can piece together. It will all be documented.

02-02-2024

Made appointment to go to AT&T corporate store to get printout of all my account details including device / phone number level phone calls, data usage, etc.. Unfortunately Yavapai is “short staffed” for the third time this week where I have done everything which is required of me during the day and have repeatedly went to the office at 4pm to ask for a ride to At&T. I have not gotten upset but it is ridiculous. Just saw the dosing van zoom off. So if I am a junkie and need my methadonf or sub box on I can get a ride. If I am trying to go collect evidence on people who stole from me I am fucked. Makes perfect sense to me doesn’t it you. What I have a little trouble with is the short staffing a term you will hear all the time in Tucson? Arizona especially in places like the county jail, community college, DES office; essentially any entity which receives some kind of government money. The place I am at is required to take me places on the first 30 days I am here, period. I also asked if I could get a set appointment, nope the advice I received is to keep checking back at 4pm everyday. What kind of fucked up place are they running here exactly. It isn’t any kind of place I would recommend that is if you are looking for something which is reliable and you can depend on. So really it is no different dealing with the staff here or the junkies on the street. All are unreliable. No matter what kind of fucked up shit they pull on me I will not get upset, I’m going to document it as best and as soon as I can. One day I’m going to fully understand WTF is going on in this gangstalking community of mind readers and spirits. And when that day comes and they put a microscope on this community and start turning over every blade of scamming, stealing and fraudulent bullshit that goes on down here your going to wish you had left me alone and not hacked me.

[broodsys]

ugh. finally caved and am trying to schedule an appt for this.

both tmi and n s f w under the cut bc i just wanna ventttt

so, idk. im supposed to be taking the exact same amount of testosterone as always, but the type i was using before had more carrier fluid so i took 0.5ml and that was rly easy to get accurate

now i cant fucking FIND that type anymore so i went to the more concentrated one where i need to take 0.25ml and that's... difficult. that's just putting it right between the 0.2 and 0.3ml marks and hoping. and im rly not sure it's working out?

maybe ill ask if i can go back to the cream... ik it's not as effective, but this doesn't seem to be effective, either. that or ask if i can up the dose a little, maybe? like to 0.3ml?

anyway, i think i gave myself too low of a dose a month or so ago - had an absolutely miserable week and my period came back, albeit VERY lightly, more like spotting but also cramps

but ever since ive had a little bit of spotting p regularly and ive been hoping it was just my system sorta flushing itself out again, but also now.... sometimes after i get off i get RLY bad cramps that are just like period cramps and im like :/ this doesn't seem good. i've looked into it and at best it might just be actual muscle cramps bc certain muscles clench hard during that process and it doesn't usually happen, but it's happened like three times now and the cramping usually lasts for hours after and can get p severe

and im just sitting here like.... wtf is happening? unaided by the fact that i am SO thirsty all the time. i just feel like my hormones are all over the place. been trying to get my dr to send the order to get my T levels tested but it's just been silence so now im making a full appt

it might be smth where i need to start using an estrogen cream, or i suppose there might be smth happening to my actual ovaries, but either way.... time to suck it up and get checked out :/ gonna be embarrassing tho, esp bc i think ill prob have to clarify certain things re: my pleasure process that are uh. Not smth i want to talk to a dr about lmao. like even tho he's been kinda radio silent and that bugs me ik he doesn't rly care (in a good way) abt this stuff and is just professional but it's still EMBARRASSING sigh

[morwap]

𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

brothers best friend!fwb!theodore nott x fem!reader

smut muggle au!, modern au!

nav • t.n m.list

dom!theo nott, sub!reader, b/n = brothers name, protected sex, p in v, fwb!harry potter x reader mention, mention of sending/receiving nudes, jealousy, lowkey toxic, fingering, handjob, oral f! and m! receiving, light praise and degradation, name calling, use of the word cunt, clit slapping, there’s a safe word in place,

───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧───────

your brothers friends were off limits, you knew that, and that’s why you were currently ignoring theodore nott for the life of you, or that was part of the reason you were ignoring him for and the other reason being that a couple weeks ago you saw theo and pansy making out at party on your brothers instagram story.

now that wouldnt be an issue if you hadn’t been fucking theo for the past five months, and your feelings for him grew without you noticing until you saw that god awful post. jealousy filled you and you were taken back by it, literally having to sit your phone down and take a minute. you felt betrayed, theo told you he wasnt with anyone else.

you came up with a quick plan, ghost him to get over him. not that easy since you two go to the same college but youd manage.

and you did, if he got too close you made sure to walk away and stop answering his texts or facetimes and theo noticed about two days into this plan. you expected him to just stop texting but it seemed like he texted more and more.

theo.

hey

hello?

why arent you answering?

cmon y/n wtf

answer the phone

please?

alr whatever

are you being fr??

those were the messages you got on the daily. you turned off your read receipts and just half swiped on snapchat and didnt check your instagram dms and letting your phone ring every time he called.

you fought yourself from answering his messages, you missed him, missed his touch.

you tried telling yourself it was the sex you missed. that once you fuck someone else you’d have no feelings towards him, and so you let harry potter go down on you but all you could think about was the first time you had gotten with theo.

-

it was cold, the breeze chilling your legs as you rubbed your hands on your thighs for some warmth in that area.

your date had gone sour, and what sucked was he was your ride home but you both had disagreed about something which caused him to leave. that and you were hoping to get laid but your fingers could get you off just fine.

you pressed your phone to your ear, calling your brother for a ride.

“hello?”

“b/n can you come pick me up? please?” you pleaded, teeth chattering. you would’ve gone inside the nice cafe but it had been closed.

“im at Blaise’s” b/n sighed. you groaned irritably. blaise’s of fucking course he was at blaise’s which was two hours away.

“i can ask theo to pick you up. that good? hes dorm” b/n suggested, you could hear blaise and draco in the background almost feeling bad for calling while he was with his friends.

“yeah yeah theos fine” you said taking up the offer, hell you wouldnt care if it was enzo that picked you up and you and enzo did not get along—he annoyed you more than your brother at some points in time.

b/n hung up and three minutes later you got a text from theo asking where you were at.

theo’s truck came into view and you hurried inside of it. shutting the door and relishing in the warm air coming from the vents. putting on your seatbelt then rubbing your hands on your legs to warm them up faster.

“thank you” you sighed happily, ready to go to your dorm and take a shower.

“no biggie” theo said and smiled softly at you before he started driving. rain started, theo went slower on the now slick roads. you couldn’t believe how dark it gotten even though it was only seven pm.

“so what happened?” theo asked, glancing over at you for a second, eyes taking in your appearance. you noticed a small almost not noticeable if you didnt look at him in time, a small and quick lip bite.

you laughed softly, leaning back against the leather seats. “date gone sour. he was my ride back to the dorms but we didnt get along and he left” you said summing up the experience for his sake or maybe for yours, rather just forget about it then dwell on it.

theo shook his head, “dickhead” was all he muttered and you laughed softly.

you stilled when theos hand reached your thigh, squeezing a bit. your eyes trailed from his hands—his perfectly sculpted hands to his bicep then to his neck then finally his face. a smug look on his face, butterflies filled your stomach.

was theo always this attractive? yes but did you truly see it before now? no he was just like all your brothers friends and he was the only one you could stand to be around more than five minutes other than blaise.

his fingers traveled up and up and up slowly, finally reaching your silk panties. his fingers grazed over your clothed slit, testing the waters, you let out a soft moan. watching his wrist disappear and reappear from out of your skirt.

moving your panties to the side. his middle finger grazed your clit as you opened your legs a bit for him. he smirked at this, a small chuckle coming from him as he continued to drive.

your clit continued to be toyed with by theo, sometimes moving his finger down to bring some of your wetness up to your clit. you moaned as he did as he pleased.

theos pants got tighter, you could see the print from where you were sitting. biting your lip before moving your hand that was gripping the edge of the passenger seat to his wrist, moving his hand away from you which made him glance over at you with a slightly confused face.

you looked around, the road was empty, not a car in sight. trees all around.

your hands went to his sweatpants, rubbing theos cock through the fabric before getting his cock out fully. theos breathing got quicker.

theo pulled over once you started to suck him off, relaxing into his seat as your tongue swirled around him. theo grabbed your hair, making sure it didnt go into your face.

“fuck—keep going, just like that” theo groaned, his eyes rolling back and his head pushed back onto the head rest a bit. theo pushed your head down quickly causing you to choke a bit. theo laughed a bit before you started sucking on his tip causing him moan mid laugh.

you bobbed your head a few times before theo pulled you off his cock, a string of saliva connecting you to his cock as theo muttered a quick “alright, up” and then the string was broken from him smashing his lips onto yours.

sloppy kisses as he leaned his seat back and guided you onto his lap. his cock pressed between his abdomen and your cunt.

-

you came at the thought of it which harry’s tongue lapping and sucking at your cunt. you had to hold back from moaning theos name. you went down on harry after then you two just started a little friends with benefits.

you still missed theo, missed sneaking into his truck in the middle of the night more times than you could remember during the winter break whether it was for sex or just to hang out. missed getting goodnight and morning texts from him.

missed sneaking around your brother even though it made thing difficult, you wanted to be able to tell people but you knew you couldnt but the sneaking around part was also exciting.

harry did help, he took your mind off theo at times. you and harry normally sent nudes and sexted but when he wasn’t busy with his school work or his track meets and when you were free, you guys would meet up and give each other head; not having gone all the way yet.

but now, it was spring break. no more having to be aware of where you were and were he was at all times just so you didn’t have a chance of bumping into him.

your parents were so happy you and your brother came home for spring break and not gone with your friends, draco,mattheo and blaise offered you and b/n to go on a road trip with them but you both declined.

three days into spring break and your parents went to your guys’ aunts house to help spring clean. they were going to stay for two nights and for you and b/n to be responsible and not tear up the house.

your phone buzzed, groaning as you moved your hand around trying to find it as you watched american horror story on your laptop. you moved your blanket and your phone finally was found.

cho<3

cant come over :( ceds having diner with my parents

you sighed, reading over her message. now you had no plans, you were hoping she’d come over and now you were out of luck and didn’t feel like going out plus you didn’t have your own car.

you

have fun with ced ;)

read

tossing your phone down with a sigh, turning your attention to your laptop.

your phone buzzed again, you picked it up.

theo.

stop ignoring me.

you sighed again then tossed your phone somewhere on your blanket. laying your head down on your pillow then dragging your finger on the mousepad to skip the intro of the new episode.

-

you groaned as you woke up, it was now dark and “are you still watching” was on your laptop screen.

loud noises were heard from downstairs, you sat up and checked your phone. you had a few snaps from blaise, luna, ginny and ron and a message from theo hours ago just saying “ok” you furrowed your brow as you read it off your notification center.

you moved your laptop to the end of your bed. getting up and stretching before going to your drawer and pulling out a pair of cute pink panties and an oversized shirt.

leaving your room with your clothes and heading down the hall to the bathroom. walking past b/ns room, his door was open which was unusual unless one of his friends were over but no one was in there.

stripping off your clothes then getting into the shower, letting the hot water run down your skin. scrubbing your skin with your favorite body wash then rinsing off your body.

you heard voices, not just your brothers but someone else’s. your heart sank as you hurried and put on your clothes. quickly cleaning up water that had gotten on the floor with a towel then putting it into the laundry basket as your brushed your teeth.

finishing up in the bathroom, after putting on lotion and doing your skin care routine. you walked to your room about to open your door before you heard it.

a laugh, not just any laugh but theodore fucking notts laugh.

maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you. you tip toed to the stairs, taking a couple steps down then crouching to try and see without going all the way down the stairs. peeking through the railing, and there he was.

theo and b/n talking, you cursed at yourself in your head as theo glanced up at you. theo smirked.

hurrying up the couple steps then to your room. chewing on your nails, now you were just going to stay in your room til he left.

this was supposed to be a relaxing break in which you did not have to watch your back 24/7. you plopped onto your bed, groaning in the process. maybe theo was just here to hang out with b/n and that was it, you knew theo wouldn’t pull anything in front of him but it didn’t save you from the awkward tension, or seeing him when walking to the kitchen or bathroom.

just stay in your room and don’t come out, that was your plan.

you spent hours in your room, trying to watch show after show to keep your mind off theo being in your house but you couldnt he kept slipping into your mind and clouding it up with thoughts of only him and no one else.

staring at your ceiling, realizing your first plan was not working and you were not getting over him and perhaps the plan made it worse.

your eyes felt heavy and you started to drift off.

waking up thirsty in your dark room, rubbing your eyes before feeling around you bed for your phone. finally finding it and turning on your flashlight. finding your way to plug in your fairy lights.

now you could finally see. it was 1 am and you heard noises from b/ns room hoping they had moved in there to do whatever they do when they hung out so youd have a better chance of not seeing theo.

putting on a pair of shorts and then opening your door, looking towards your brothers door. hoping they were both in there. you headed to the kitchen, letting out a breath once you finally reached the kitchen.

grabbing a bottle of water, you flicked the kitchen light off before heading back to your room. you successfully got a bottle of water without seeing theo.

you took off your shorts before getting into your bed. checking your messages and scrolling through twitter, your back facing your door and head on your pillow as read tweet after tweet.

you heard your door click open, you put your phone face down before turning over.

“theo what the fuck are you doing in here?” you asked, your voice raising. theo shushed you, as he shut your door.

“shut up, do you want b/n to wake up?” theo scoffed, stepping closer to your bed. you shook your head no.

the tension was thick, watching him take in your appearance then you took in his own. you felt the urge to kiss him, your body longing for his.

theo huffed and ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head a bit. “why are you in here?” you asked, sitting up in your bed. covering yourself with your blanket.

“you know why the fuck im in here y/n” theo said, getting even closer to your bed. you both looking into each other’s eyes, you sat up onto your knees. you hopped he was feeling the same way you were, missing you like you missed him and theo did.

theo had been going crazy since you started ignoring him, not being able to ask b/n about you or tell him too tell you to text him back. theo connected the dots on you viewing the video on b/ns story of him and pansy and then right after you started to ghost him, he knew the video is what caused it.

that was the only time him and pansy kissed, they were both drunk and it was just in the moment nothing more. pansy was strictly a friend, theo and her talked about it after they kissed that he had feelings for you and pansy promised not to tell. theo wanted to tell you in person but you avoided him.

theo leaned down locking your lips roughly, your hands went to his sides and his hands trailed up your hip making your shirt rise and a bit. he started to push you back a bit, getting off your knees and moving back to sit, letting him push you back.

both of you gasping into each other, hands gripping and fondling each other. your legs opened for him to rest between. “i heard you started fucking around with harry” theo said between kisses as his hand rubbed up your thigh to your waist then to your clothed cunt.

you moaned softly, his thumb grazing over your clit, moving up and down teasingly. “its nothing serious” you whined under him, his thumb adding more pressure.

“did he fuck you?” theo asked, looking down at you. you shook your head no, looking up at him. “say it out loud whore” he scoffed, roughly taking your face with his hand and pulling towards him.

“no” you mumbled, his thumb still working on your clothed clit taking away the slight pain from his grip on your face. your legs spread more, a small wet patch on your panties formed.

“good girl” he cooed, his fingers moved your panties to the side then running his middle finger along your bare cunt making you shiver. “my sweet girl” theo added sweetly.

you gasped as his hand lifted then landed on your cunt with a hard smack, your thighs quickly closed as you let out a soft hiss. “you’ve been so bad lately” theo sighed, gently spreading your legs, fingertips brushing over your thighs before smacking your cunt again.

thighs closing quickly, a whimper left your lips. theos grip still on your face, letting the sting calm as he rubbed your thigh. “ignoring me over a five second video we could’ve talked about” theo whispered, your eyes grew wide. theos hand moving your legs open again.

“m’sorry i should’ve talked to you about it” you admitted in a whine, as his middle finger grazed your clit softly. another slap, you moaned. your hand reached to cup your cunt to help calm the sting.

theos lips pressed against your forehead, “and we’ll talk about it later” he whispered, his hand pushing away your hand softly to rest on your bed then his came back to cunt with loving strokes on your clit.

“but for now i’ve missed your cunt” he whispered, letting go of your face and kissing you then trailing the kisses down to your neck, his hand moving from your clit to push up your shirt.

theo tossed your shirt onto the floor before his lips met your skin again, going down and down leaving wet kisses down your chest and abdomen then above your panties. looking up at you, then hooking his fingers around the thin fabric and pulling it down your legs and letting it drop from his hands onto the floor.

one hand pushed your leg back, holding at the bend of your knee pinning it to the bed. theos other hand came to cunt, running his finger along your slit a couple of times before spreading you with fingers. “you’re so wet” theo commented, his eyes trained on your glistening cunt.

“did harry make you this wet?” theo asked in a harsh tone, glaring up at you, theos finger slipping inside you. shaking your head ‘no’ as his finger pumped in and out. his fingers were big, much bigger than harry’s and your own. theos thumb found your clit and rubbed in circles.

theo removed his hand from you, then landing a slap on your clit. “what did i say about saying it out fucking loud” theo spat harshly.

“cmon you whore, tell me, did he make you this wet” theo said, your cunt clenched around nothing.

“no” you moaned out, his fingers finding you again.

“there we go, you can be so good for me when you try” theo whispered against your thigh, biting at your inner thigh as his fingers made you moan and whine out for him to keep going.

you looked down at him between your legs, “something you want princess? you’re gonna have to ask for it” theo teased.

“please, please” you mumbled, your eyes rolling back, clenching around his fingers.

“tell me what you want my love” theo said watching you, admiring you and your state. admiring the way your back arches at his finger tips and how you can’t think straight when he’s touching you.

you whimpered, the coil tightening and tightening. “your cock please theo, please” you begged, theo smiled.

theo kissed your clit before easing his fingers out of you, you leaned up trying not to think of how empty you felt. your hands pulling off theos shirt, then his sweatpants and boxers letting his cock spring out.

you leaned over, opening the drawer in your nightstand then feeling around and finally feeling the condoms you had.

taking one then leaning back to theo, going back to rest on your knees. leaning up and kissing him, taking the condom out of the wrapper as you kissed down his neck.

rolling the condom onto him, theo pushed you back down. theos hands moving your legs to his waist.

theo pulled back, taking his cock, teasing his tip at your entrance before pushing into you. “oh fuck” you moaned, gripping at the pillow above you. your eyes squeezing shut and your mouth fell open. theos hand gripped your thigh harshly, digging his nails into your skin.

theo wanted to tell you how good you felt but couldn’t form words, trying not to cum from just the first thrust in. having to take a minute for himself after being in you fully.

you clenched around him when you felt him start to pull out then push back in. theos hips going slow at first then getting faster and faster as he went.

his name falling from your lips as he continued to fuck you, leaning back and harshly pulling you to him.

theo leaned forward, his head finding its way to the crook of your neck. heavy breathing and theo groans and your whimpers filled the room, the both of you trying to stay quieter since b/n was across the hall.

“let me on top” you whispered, against his ear then a soft kiss followed.

a kiss was placed on your neck, “are you sure?” theo asked still thrusting at a quick pace. you nodded. theo pulled out of you, moving with occasional kisses as theo helped you get on top of him.

theos back rested against your head board, you glanced down, theo helped you line yourself up with him before pushing yourself down onto his cock. your eyes squeezed shut, head rolling back and theo kissed on your neck.

you lifted then went back down, moving on him, feeling him fill you up.

theos kissed went to your mouth as you got closer, your chests almost touching. moaning into each other as you rode him. moving in a way so that your clit would get friction.

his hands gripped your hips, helping you move on him. his cock throbbed in you.

“y’feel so good” theo moaned, he was close and didn’t know how long he’d last from now.

theos fingers went to your clit, rubbing, causing you to shutter against him and whimper loudly, “cum for me princess” theo demanded.

clenching around theos cock as he rubbed your clit faster, theo thrusted up a little. your legs shook, shuddering as you came on his cock.

moans and soft hums came from you as it became too much. theo moving you up and down as you came down, “mmh too much, too much” you whined, clinging onto theo. your head resting in the crook of his neck, his hands moving to your ass, guiding you up and down.

theo moaned as he came, filling the condom with a few thrusts.

your fingers traced shapes on his chest as his hands moved from your ass to your waist and one to your thigh, rubbing comfortably.

his lips pressed against your forehead before moving you off him gently.

theo tossed the condom into the trash, putting on his boxers. grabbing tissues and then coming to clean you up.

opening your drawers for a new pair of underwear and a shirt then coming back to your tired frames and helping you dress.

slipping into your bed, moving your blankets to cover the both of you. theo reached for your phone that laid behind you as you got comfortable with your head on his chest.

theo knew your password, unlocking your phone and getting on snapchat and sending a pic of you on his chest to harry then blocked him, going to messages and instagram and blocking him on there also.

going back to messages and turning on your read receipts for himself then sitting your phone back down.

“you wanna talk about that video now?” theo asked, his fingertips dancing along you back.

you hummed in agreement.

[rafescoke]

Hiii! I don’t know if you’re still taking requests but how about a rafe fic where he is super sweet and gentle and just soft with the reader in private but an asshole once their in public? Just angst and a lil but of fluff and rafe being rafe, if that’s not too much to ask!

Facade ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: “This whole thing you’re showing to people. . . that’s not you. Fuck you.”

Warnings: Angst, angst, and more angst. Not the ending everyone’s expecting  (I think) 

A/N: I’m extremely sorry if this isn’t my best work but thank you for 700+ followers wtf ily <3 finishing all requests in my inbox this week!

“Don’t leave me yet,” Rafe groans. He places his arms around her waist, snuggling close. Her scent of strawberry wafts into his nostrils, and he closes his eyes against her warmth.

“Work.” she mumbles, and tries to stand up again. But Rafe does not let go, still holding onto her skin as if on his last breath, and she lets out a chuckle at the adorable sight.

“I can pay you twice the amount you’re working for right now,” he says. He finally let go of her, and slumps into the vacant pillows that she had slept in a few hours ago.

“I know, and I won’t give you the satisfaction of doing so,” she smiles, and take the chance of freedom to walk towards the bathroom. She checks the naked boy on top of the bed from the mirror, her heart soaring.

His boy.

She kisses him on the cheeks when she’s finally done, swiping her thumb on his pink lips as he whimpers softly in his sleep. She kisses him again, this time on the lips, for good measures.

(Y/N) never really like the restaurant in the country club, because it’s full of impolite kooks and bratty tourists. But money is money, and she’ll never say no to a good sum of them.

She sighs, clearing another dirty table all while thinking of Rafe in his room. Her insides suddenly beam when his kisses slides through her memory, and she wishes the clock would turn faster.

She slides in the empty back room, pulling her phone out from her back pocket and tapping on the top name of her contact. Her fingers glide effortlessly, her mouth forming a smile.

miss you.

Three seconds later, her phone dings.

Rafe: Disgusting.

Rafe: Miss you more :)

She wants to go back to him as soon as possible.

The door behind her back open before she can stuff her phone back in, and she struggles to appear busy as the manager peek his head in.

“What are you doing here? It’s full house. You got a table.”

(Y/N) look up to him, trying to pretend like she wasn’t just skipping some time to text her boyfriend, and nods.

Okay, maybe not boyfriend. She’s not completely sure. They never really certify anything, but whatever’s going on between them is definitely something more than ‘friends’.

She sighs again, picking up a menu before heading towards the group of friends sitting at the long table by the golf course.

“Hey, welcome to—”

Oh my god.

“Hey, you’re (Y/N), right?”

(Y/N)’s attention snaps back to the blonde boy sitting next to Rafe, and she gulps before nodding slowly. “Um, yeah.”

“You work here?”

Is he stupid?

She refrains herself from rolling her eyes, “Yes.”

Rafe scans the menu, not looking at her, and she feel a tug at her heart. Why is he pretending not to know her? She’s not expecting a sudden hug or a kiss on the lips; she’s thinking of something like a goddamn smile.

“Might come down here often, then,” the boy laughs, and the others follow him. Except for Rafe. “What’s the best order here?”

“Pasta,” she mumbles. He’s still looking at the menu, clearly trying to ignore her piercing stare.

“Which one?” The blonde sighs, flipping through the menu. “You got bolognese, carbonara—”

“Aglio Olio,” she answers quickly. He can choke and starve for all she cares for ruining her day like this. Why would he need her opinion on this as if he has never tasted on every single dish on this menu?

“I’ll take that one,” he smiles, and peeks over her arms. “Did you write that down? Can I see it?”

What a fucking cunt.

“That’s it?” She asks, tilting her head to one side. She takes more orders from the other boys, but there’s only one left.

She looks up to him, and finally, he meets her eyes.

“What’s the best soup here?”

Really?

“All of them are good,” she answers, biting her tongue. She never told Rafe before about her workplace, and they had agreed on that, but she did not expect this kind of treatment once he finally found the answer.

“Is this how you treat the customers?”

What. The. Fuck.

(Y/N) bites her lips, and suppresses her groan while the other boys laugh. “We have the best mushroom soup.”

“I’ll go with the mushroom soup, please.”

(Y/N) scribbles down ‘mushfuckingroom soup for the asshole’ down, and gives out her fakest smile. “That’s it? I’ll come back shortly with your food.”

“One more thing—”

(Y/N) turns to them again, still holding onto that smile, “Yes?”

“Try to be nicer to the customers sometimes. That way, we’ll tip you bigger.”

She stalks off, not knowing that person under the same skin she caressed and kissed this morning.

. . .

Rafe bites his lips, sitting on the edge of the bed and pressing the call button for the 17th time tonight.

He sighs when the operator comes on, and throws his back against the mattress again.

Okay. Maybe he was mad at that time. She never told him where she works, and he assumed her workplace to be some kind of a hipster cafe with cats for decoration. He didn’t know she would be serving in the restaurant at the country club.

He texts her again, groaning.

Pick up the phone

Helloooooooooo

?

The typing notification pops up, and he waits excitedly for her reply. After a few minutes, the notification disappear. He grunts again, and goes straight to his contacts.

He presses the phone against his ear, waiting for her voice to say something; to listen to his pleas and to come back to his arms. He misses her so much, more than anything else in the world.

“Stop calling me,” she says.

He sits up straighter, feeling his blood rushing throughout his body. “Hey, how are you?”

“How’s the mushroom soup?” She mocks, and Rafe raises his brows.

He sees it clearly now.

“Are you mad about that day in the restaurant? I wasn’t even talking shit to you like Topper—”

“Really? The whole ‘bigger tips’ thing? Was that necessary?” She asks, her voice breaking.

Oh god. “It was a joke!”

“Yeah? Congra-tu-fucking-lations, Cameron, it’s a funny one,” she says, and Rafe can hear her slowly distancing voice.

He panics, “Don’t end on me. Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that you won’t tell me where you work, and it appeared as a shock to me.”

That’s the dumbest reason (Y/N) had ever heard. She feels like laughing and crying at the same time, because this is exactly the problem;

Guys like Rafe Cameron would never want to be with a girl like (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

“Suck my dick, asshole!” she yells, and slams the phone down.

Rafe pulls the phone away, his face contorting in anger, and his shoulders slump. He should’ve known better.

It’s just that. . . he’s afraid of what the others would think of him if they knew about him dating a pogue. Ward didn’t take it well when Sarah ran off with John B, and Rafe assumes he would be feeling the same way about (Y/N).

Why does life have to be so fucking complicated all the time?

Two days after, Rafe heard about a party in The Cut, but nothing from (Y/N). He know he’s fucked up big time, and he’s content to make it right with her again.

He doesn’t like stepping his foot onto The Cut, only going to the other side of the island to meet Barry for his medical issues, and sometimes to see how Sarah is doing.

But he’s driving down to the strange place again, so determined to see his girl one more time.

The party is in an abandoned warehouse, and from the outside, Rafe can see how loud and huge the party is. He sighs, thinking about the amount of time he would be wasting to find her whilst going through the throng of bodies.

But he wants to see her and touch her more than anything.

No one seems to notice him, Rafe Cameron, the Kook prince yet, and he’s hoping to keep it that way until he can pull (Y/N) out. Not one person back in Figure 8 could know about his presence in the party, what more the reason he’s there in the first place.

It’s easy to notice her. Black top, denim shorts, and (H/C) hair flowing from her shoulders. He stalks forward, extending his hand, but stops when he notices the boy beside her.

JJ fucking Maybank.

He balls his hands into a fist, and watches the way she laughs at a joke by JJ.

He takes his phone out, dialling her number, and stares as she grabs her phone out of her pocket. (Y/N) sighs, sliding the call button to the left, and keeps it in her shorts again.

Oh.

Meet me outside

Now.

(Y/N) pulls her phone out again, contorts her face at the texts, and finally look up. Her eyes scans the whole area, trying to find a particular brunette. . .

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks, touching her forearm.

“I’ll be right back,” she says, holding a finger up, and heads straight towards the exit.

Her shoes crunches against the gravel as she tries to look for Rafe’s jeep. She stands there alone, crossing her arms, and groans when she realises that he must’ve been tricking her.

Rafe slides his arms around her. “Hey, princess.”

She yelps, pushing him off and looking straight into his eyes. She relaxes when reality hits her, but stiffen again when reality hits her again.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Her cold voice rings into his ears, but he misses her too much to care.

“C’mere,” he says, extending his hands. “Missed you.”

“Fuck off,” she announces and stalks away, only to be pulled by Rafe’s arms again. This time, she stays in his arms.

“Sorry,” he mumbles against the top of her head. “I’m sorry I was such a dick to you.”

She stays silent, trying to put up a wall between her and Rafe, but it’s near impossible. She misses him a bit too much too.

So she lets him pull her into his jeep, and whatever feud they have before dissipates into the air.

He kisses her on the lips once in the car, and when she pulls away, he groans.

“I’m not going to let you go with just a kiss after 2 weeks,” he says, inching closer to her. She gives him a sly smile, knowing exactly what he’s trying to tell her, and closes the gap.

He pulls away again after finding his hands under her top, and points to the back. She shakes her head, smiling.

“Come on, you missed me too much to say no.”

. . .

Maybe he should say something to his friends to stop them from harassing her.

But he’s glued to the spot, watching as Topper taunts her.

“You lied to me,” Topper pouts, “The Aglio Olio isn’t that good.”

She looks at Rafe, hoping, wanting, longing for him to say something. Anything.

He stays shut, scanning the menu.

“Sorry. Would you like to order anything else?” She sighs, spelling a big ‘fuck you’ on the top of her notepad.

“Do you come with the menu?”

She looks at Rafe again, waiting.

Say something. Please.

She smiles, “I do.”

Topper smiles and the other coos. (Y/N) watches as Rafe’s jaw tightens, and she goes back to her dirty work.

Two can play this game, Cameron.

“Give me your best food, babe,” Topper smiles, and shuts the menu. “Anyone else? Rafe? What do you want to eat?”

She waits. Say something about us, Rafe, please.

“Can we change for another server—” he says, and raises his hand up. “Hey, yo, you, yeah, you the manager?”

Logan gives (Y/N) a warning look before putting on a smile for Rafe, “Yes, sir, is there anything I can do?”

“Can you call someone else to take our order?”

This is way too far. He’s taking this way too far—

“Did our (Y/N) say something?” Logan asks, still smiling. She knows he’s seething inside, and she hates Rafe for putting her in this position.

“No. I just love for a better view.”

That feels like a hard smack across the face. Her throat starts burning, and she can feel her tears slowly appearing.

“That’s no problem, sir, I’ll get you another server—” Logan looks around, “Kate! Yes, c’mere.”

(Y/N) looks at Rafe again. His eyes meet hers, but there’s nothing behind his gaze.

Coward.

She reaches for the cold water on the table, her head’s so light she can literally faint, and splashes the brunette boy so quick that he stands up immediately.

“Asshole,” she states, and turns to Logan. “I fucking quit!”

. . .

Rafe Cameron is 100% an asshole.

She used to think of so many counterattacks to that statement, but there’s zero now.

She hates Rafe Cameron will all her heart, and wishes to never see him again.

He tried contacting her a few times over the week, to which she ignored heavily. She never thought he would stoop so low to preserve his title as the ‘Kook prince’.

To hell with that.

She would never treat him like that, and she’s just so clueless as to why he said all those mean words to her.

He kissed her on the lips, pulling her close. “My baby. So fucking perfect.”

(Y/N) grinded against him, hearing his soft whimpers, and laughed. She watched the clock ticking, and sighed.

“Forty minutes until I’m off to work.”

Rafe groaned, “Stop talking about work. Work with me.”

“As what, idiot?” She laughed, gazing at him lazily. “As a fuckbuddy?”

He sat up straighter, his face contorting in anger. “You are not my fuckbuddy, okay? Stop saying that. God, I will never do that you.”

She smiled, and leaned to kiss him against his chest. She trailed her lips up to his neck, and stopped right behind his ear. He shivered, biting his lips.

“And I’ll make you mind one day, (Y/N), I will,” he whispered.

Now that’s the biggest lie of the century. She gets it now;

The night dates in the most unknown places, like a fancy restaurant in a fucking town 2 islands away from Obx. Not wanting to hold hands or to be posted on her Instagram.

Why had she been so stupid?

“Fuck,” she groans, laying her back against the pillow.

Rafe Cameron is embarrassed to be seen with her. Something like that.

All the sweet things he would say to her in bed is nothing but a tactic to get into her pants. And she allowed him. God.

“You’re a stupid fuck, (Y/N),” she cries, and bites her lips. And she thought he would be the one—

Riiing! Riiing!

“Stop calling me!” She yells first thing when she picks up the phone, trying to stop her voice from cracking. Like always, she failed.

“Yo? You good?” JJ’s voice rang through the phone, a hint of worry in his voice. “I can call you another—”

“No! No, J, it’s fine, I thought you’re someone else,” she sighs. “What’s up?”

“Wanna come down to the beach with me tomorrow?”

“And do what?” She sighs. She doesn’t feel like swimming in the water, or watch JJ swim, or search for dolphins (JJ told her before that there’s dolphins in Obx), or anything, really.

She wants to sleep.

“Surfing,” he answers, like it’s a fact. “Come on, you got the whole summer to practice surfing. Let’s start with asking the hottest guy in Obx to coach you.”

(Y/N) slapped him in the face, giggling ferociously. He picked her up, twirling her around, and when she least expected it, he jumped into the water with her in his arms.

They resurfaced, still in a laughing fit.

“God, Rafe, you’re an asshole,” she laughed, pushing his chest.

“And the hottest guy in Obx.”

She bites her lips, thinking of the memory, and clears her throat. “Maybe not surfing, J, but I’ll come down anyways.”

“Okay to me,” he says, and (Y/N) can imagine a smile playing on his lips. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Night, J.”

She sighs, and shuts her phone off.

Whatever Rafe did to her disappears into thin air when she arrives at the beach and see JJ with two surfboards planted in the sand.

He grins at her when she comes close, “There you are. Thought you bailed on me.”

She rolls her eyes, “I don’t want to surf, J.”

“Since when?”

She groans, “Like. Right now.”

“Nah, come on.”

Maybe JJ’s right. She gives him a nudge every time he tries to hold her, but he’s patient. He waits until she’s more comfortable before helping her up on her board, and when she topples over from the small wave, he lets out the biggest laugh.

And she completely forgets about the fight with Rafe for the whole hour.

“God. You’re a dick.”

JJ smiles, stabilising her board again. “Try again. You can call me a dick once you will not fall over a small wave.”

And she tries again.

By the time the sun sets they were laying right next to each other, just admiring each other’s presence and not saying anything.

She likes it like this. No secrets.

“(Y/N)?”

She hums in response, leaning on her elbows for support.

“You deserve someone a lot more better than Rafe.”

“Don’t talk about him,” she sighs, and closes her eyes.

When (Y/N) told the pogues about Rafe the night after the incidence, they were all fuming with anger and hatred towards the brunette boy. But (Y/N) doesn’t have an ounce of hate in her for him, even after all the hurtful things he said to her.

What an idiot.

“I can’t watch you get hurt again,” JJ says. “I care about you.”

She looks him properly now, watching as the golden light illuminates his handsome face. “I know, J.”

They lay in silence again, staring at the blue landscape of nothingness.

“There’s someone out there who will treat you better.”

She looks at him again. No. No.

“Yeah?” She laughs, trying to give him the idea to stop right now and not make it any complicated for her. She loves him, more than anything in the world, but not in the way she feels for Rafe.

He’s her Laurie to Jo March. Nothing more but a best friend.

He scoots closer, feeling her warmth. “Yeah. Look around, (Y/N).”

She inches away, “J, I’m not looking for anyone. You know that.”

“Except for Rafe,” he mumbles. “Is that right?”

“He’s different.”

“Why, (Y/N)? He treats you like shit, is embarrassed to be seen with you—”

“Okay, J, fuck! I get it, okay? But I’m not looking for anyone. I’m just not. Leave me alone!” She groans, throwing her arms into the air exasperatedly. She doesn’t need another boy in her life right now.

JJ’s right. Except for Rafe.

“I’m leaving,” she says, grabbing her tote bag and stuffing all her belongings. “This is a mistake.”

“(Y/N), wait—” he tries to hold her, but she flinches away. He crosses his arms, “Let me drive you home at least.”

“I can walk.”

“It’s getting darker. Come on, don’t make this any harder for me.”

“A drive back home, and that’s it, J,” she warns, and sets for the black bike a distance away.

The ride towards her small home takes a few minutes on the bike, and all the time she’s sitting behind JJ with her arms placed on his shoulders for balance, they didn’t exchange any words. There’s an obvious awkward dome between the two of them.

“I’m sorry, J,” she sighs, stepping away from the bike and handing him the helmet. “I didn’t mean to lash out on you.”

He smiles grimly, not saying anything.

The engine roars back to life, and he looks at her again; standing with her hair slowly drying and her shirt still sticking to her body. He looks away.

“J?” She calls, placing her hands over his. He raises his brows at her, waiting.

She places a soft kiss against his lips, so subtle yet meaningful to him, and pulls away after a few seconds. She rubs his cheeks slowly, and gives him another kiss on the cheeks.

“Sorry, J,” she whispers.

JJ smiles softly, and runs his thumb over her cheeks.

Maybe in another lifetime.

“(Y/N)?”

Their heads turn towards the voice behind her figure, and (Y/N) swears her heart stops.

Rafe looks at her and back to JJ, his mind connecting the puzzle, and he nods.

“Wait, Rafe!”

JJ tugs on her wrist, his eyes begging. “Leave with me. Come on.”

She looks at JJ, and then back to Rafe, and she hopes for some kind of a way to get out of this. She groans, and pulls her hands away. “Go, J. I don’t need you.”

And that’s enough to hurt the blonde boy.

“Rafe!” She yells after the boy walking to his jeep, but he continues to walk, ignoring her.

She lurches forward and grab his shoulders, turning him to face her. She looks into his eyes, looking for any sign of love for her.

“Rafe, it’s not what you think.”

“Yeah? Were you trying to give him a CPR or something?”

She holds him in her hands again, “No, Rafe, I swear. I was just. . .”

But there’s no proper way to explain why she had kissed JJ. Was it because she feel bad? But why would she kissed him?

“Yeah,” he nods, prying his hands away.

A sudden wave of anger courses through her, because the boy who had hurt her did not just make this look like it’s her entire fault. She pushes him on the chest, and his back hit the car door.

“What the fuck?” He yells, glaring at her.

“So what? You’re making me look like the fucking bad guy now? After all the shit you said to me in the restaurant?

He laughs dryly, “Of course you would point this back at me. Hey, hey, look—” he cups her face, “At least I didn’t kiss anyone.”

She pushes him away, “It doesn’t mean anything! And you’re not my fucking boyfriend.”

He licks his lips, “Yeah. So let me go.”

She pulls him to her again, “Don’t fucking run away from me like this! You didn’t even apologise!”

“Because you won’t pick up my calls!” He yells back, throwing his arms into the air. “You want to fuck JJ fucking Maybank? Then go.”

“Maybe I do want to fuck JJ, Rafe, because at least he’s real. This whole thing you’re showing to people. . . that’s not you. Fuck you.”

“Yeah?” He taunts, staring at her left hand placed directly on his chest. “Then fuck him. You don’t need me.”

“I don’t.”

“Yeah,” he laughs, watching as her chest heave. “I can go to Kie too, you know, to make this even.”

“Yeah? Would you embarrass her in front of your friends too?”

He shrugs, “No.”

She grits her teeth, knowing that he’s just trying to get under her skin.

“I hate you.”

He turns her over, so she’s facing him, and inches closer to her ears. “You don’t.”

“I do.”

He laughs again, pressing himself against her, and Rafe blames the heat of North Carolina in mid July for the sudden tingling in his stomach.

“I hate that stupid smirk on your face right now, and I’ll do anything to wipe them off.”

He presses a soft kiss against her cheeks, feeling her brush against him, and let out a soft whimper. “Okay.”

After 2 weeks of not seeing her, all he wanted was to talk to her at her house, after all the calls that she didn’t pick up. But when he waited for her to come back from God knows where and saw him getting off JJ’s bike, he lets the cold side of him take over.

He lets her go, sighing. “I’ll just go. This is a waste of time. You’re clearly not thinking about me.”

(Y/N) bites her lips, because a part of her wants him to stay, and they can kiss each other again, but another part of her wants him to go and leave her alone.

“Go.”

He hesitates, and nods. The jeep speeds away, leaving (Y/N) alone in her front step, thinking about what she had just done.

She hurt JJ, who wanted nothing but the best of her, and she just lost Rafe. She’s as good as alone in this world, and she’s not sure what to do anymore. She wishes she never let her temper got ahold of her, but it’s too late.

She just wants to sleep it off right now.

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia @alwaysclassyeagle @rottenstyx

[cryonme]

𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐕

PART FOUR- “I Can’t Stop Thinking About The Way You Held Me That Night After The Boneyard And I Think I Need You To Do It Again.”

part one here

part two here

part three here

short series-- jj maybank x kook!reader

word count- 4.2k

tw- scratching, panic, description of bruises and cuts, big ol mental breakdown, swearing, self deprecation, fluff if you fuckin squint harder than you ever have in your life, mentions of blood, hints at sexual assault, mentions of wanting to throw up probably more please tell me if I missed something :( typos guaranteed

a/n- thank you for being so patient for this part! it was a busy couple days for Roxie!! again, the reader talks a lot of self deprecation, and I want to make it clear, I do not agree with her views on herself. please remember that I don't think of victims that way, I just wanted to write accurately. love you all so much!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

You were basically a shell of a human being for the next week.

Your dad and Christine had told Shoupe that it was no surprise to them that Tyler had done this, and explained that they had kicked him out of the house and why. Tyler was apparently “nowhere to be found”, very convenient, considering the police were looking for him.

All you wanted was to go see your friends, you wanted to tell them everything. You wanted to apologize for the way you treated them and thank them for saving you.

But your dad and Christine had you practically locked up in your room.

You were afraid to even ask to leave, knowing they would get upset again. You avoided bringing up the situation at all, not wanting to see the sad looks on their faces.

So, you waited. You waited a week to see your friends just so you wouldn’t have to go through the awkward sadness.

“Dad?” You asked softly as you walked into his office, hands shoved in the back pockets of your blue jean shorts. He was writing at his desk, his fingers flying across the keyboard. He started working from home when he got the call from Christine about what had happened. You hadn’t told either of them what you know yet, you needed to know more before telling someone as powerful as your father.

“Hey, honey.” He turned in his chair and smiled, taking his glasses off, giving you a warm smile.

You and your dad had a good relationship. You weren’t best friends, you didn’t tell him everything, you didn’t hang out often. But, he loved you with everything he had, and would do, and has done, just about anything for you.

“Hey,” You started, fidgeting with your hands and the rings on your fingers. “I uh- I was wondering if- Everyone’s going to John B’s today and I really miss my friends and Pope and JJ and John B will all be there so they can protect me if anything happens and-”

“(Y/n),” Your dad started but you kept rambling.

“And I just think it’s really important for me to get out of the house especially-”

“You can go.”

“Because of what happened here and I just- wait, I can?”

Your dad nodded, standing up and placing his hand on your shoulders, looking straight into your eyes with his (y/c/e) eyes, sullen and misty.

“I agree, I think you should go.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around your dad, squeezing extra tight. He let out a watery laugh and kissed your head.

“I’m really sorry kiddo. I can’t believe I wasn’t-” He stopped for a moment and let out a deep sigh, “I just can’t believe I let it go on for so long.” You frowned and just hugged your dad tighter. “You didn’t let anything go on, it’s my fault.”

Your dad's lip quivered and he rested his chin on your head, “It’s no one’s fault but his, let’s say that.

You nodded in agreement, “Let’s.”

After a couple more apologies and just a few more tears, you and your dad pulled away and you made your way back to your room, after stopping by Christine’s room to tell her you were leaving and promising 50 times to be so safe, and sent a text to Sarah.

*Can I hitch a ride to JB’s?*

It took about 15 seconds for her to reply.

OH THANK GOD

YES WTF

You smiled at your phone and shook your head, almost giddy with excitement to see your best friends. You knew Sarah was probably gonna pick you up in less than a couple minutes, so you stuck with the outfit you had on already, opting against a swimsuit. Your cuts and bruises had healed and faded immensely, but they were still there, and you’d rather skip the pity glances and sad looks. Your hands were still wrapped in compression wrap from the force of Tyler’s kick, along with your left knee and rib cage, your neck covered in red, ugly scratches from your panic attacks, and you had to be very careful with your movements so you wouldn’t worsen your concussion. You were already in a lot of pain, and having to deal with your emotional pain today would just be too much. You knew they came from a good place, and they were just concerned, but that’s not what you were there for today, you had a lot more problems in your future than just a couple injuries.

Once Sarah had texted you that she was waiting outside, you made your way downstairs, bidding your parents one last goodbye before walking out the front door and giving your best friend a wave as you made your way to her passenger seat.

“I’m not gonna hug you because I’m afraid I’ll squeeze you too tight and I know you’re injured.”

You giggled and leaned over the center console, giving her a quick kiss on top of her head and a big smile. “I would offer you my hand to squeeze but unfortunately my hands did not make it out unscathed.”

Sarah just nodded, taking in your appearance for a moment before clearing her throat and starting her car, blinking hard a couple times as she made her way out of your neighborhood.

“I didn’t tell anyone you’re coming, they’ll be so excited.” She forced a smile to her face and you returned it.

You knew she was having a really hard time having you in her car, forced to look at you and remember the day they found you nearly unconscious with Tyler’s hand around your throat.

You probably looked disgusting.

You pulled down the mirror to examine your face, your eye was still swollen and discolored, your lip as well. You had a yellowing bruise on your right cheekbone and a healing cut on your eyebrow right above it.

A sight to see.

“(Y/n/n)...”

“Please don’t, S.” You said softly, flipping the mirror back up in its place and turning to your blonde haired friend, giving her a weak smile. “Just making sure they’re healing okay. Forgot to check before we left.”

Sarah just nodded, not looking convinced by your untrue words.

+

The sound of Sarah’s tires rolling over the dirt road made your stomach flip, you weren’t ready yet. You didn’t want to see John B’s sad eyes, or Kiara’s quivering lip, or Pope’s lingering eyes on your bandages.

You didn’t wanna see JJ’s face, you’d turn to putty if you saw even an ounce of hurt in those pretty blue eyes.

You took a deep breath when Sarah finally rolled up to the Chateau, trying to calm your shaking hands, using one to steady the other, but it was no use since they were both unsteady. You mustered up all of your courage and confidence and opened the car door, immediately spotting your friends on John B’s wrap around porch, drinking beers and laughing.

They don’t miss you. You had told yourself, stopping in your tracks and raking your hands through your hair, suddenly wanting to cry. Look how much fun they’re having without you.

What you hadn’t seen was the pogues sitting in silence only moments before, sullen looks on their faces as they forced light conversation and jokes, before one finally made them laugh, bringing peace to the friends for just a moment.

“Hey,” Sarah stood in front of you, hands on your cheeks. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. Her eyes looking into yours with nothing but love and compassion was enough. “Come on.” She nodded encouragingly and grabbed your hand, pulling you behind her as she approached the screen door.

You wanted to throw up.

The door cracked open, it’s rusty hinges making a high pitched squeaking noise.

And there it was.

John B’s sad eyes.

Kiara’s quivering lip.

Pope’s eyes glued to your bandages.

You didn’t look at JJ.

“Fuck.” Kiara breathed out as she quickly stood up from her spot to hug you, but quickly stopped herself as she got closer and could see the damage more clearly. She stared at you a moment with teary eyes, not sure what to do.

“Just hug me, weirdo.” You said, grabbing her arm and pulling her in for a light hug.

“God, I just wanna squeeze you.” She muttered, her mouth pressed against your shoulder.

“Please don’t.” You said, only half joking.

You both giggled and pulled away, you gave her a small smile before squeezing her shoulders.

“Love you, Kie.”

“I love you way more, how are you doing?”

You just shook your head, “I’d rather not get into that, if that’s okay.”

Kie just nodded. She should’ve known better with you, of course you weren’t gonna answer that question.

“At least you’re not lying.” John B said, pulling you into a light hug much like the one you had with Kie moments before, his arms around your shoulders while your cheek rested on his chest, his chin on top of your head.

“Love you, bub. Glad you’re okay.” He said into your hair before leaving a slight kiss, pulling away to put his hand in Sarah’s, his gaze lingering on your broken down figure.

Pope just kept looking at you, obviously freaked out.

“Hey, Heyward.” You put your hand under his chin, bringing his eyes up to yours. You smiled at the boy and nodded, “I’m okay.”

Pope reached one hand up to grab yours, hot holding it too tight, but just enough to tell you how much he loves you. “I’m happy you’re here.”

JJ watched as you had a heartfelt moment with each of your friends, but wouldn’t spare a single glance in his direction. She had whispered his name in pain just a week ago, wanting him by her side, and now she won’t look at him.

She realized what a piece of shit you are.

The pogues sensed the tension, all of them standing up and heading inside the house to give you two a moment alone. You wanted to beg them to stay, or follow them inside even. Grab a bag of chips and flop yourself onto the couch with your head in Pope’s lap, giggling at John B and Sarah’s lovers quarrel in the kitchen.

But you had to face this head on, you had to face JJ head on. It was time.

“Why won’t you look at me?” JJ asked, trying to mask his anger, it wasn’t working.

“I-”

“After all this, I thought we were past the hatred, (Y/n).” He was trying to keep his cool, but he couldn’t. Keeping his cool was never one of his strong suits.

“JJ-”

“I’m not doing this anymore with you. You can-”

You cut him off. If he said one more angry word at you you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“JJ, I know you hate me and I know I’m a bitch and I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. But, god, I can’t stop thinking about the way you held me that night after the boneyard and I think I need you to do it again.” Your voice shook as you finally whipped your head to look at him, wincing at the sharp pain that shot through your head from the sudden movement.

There was that hurt in his eyes, plain as day. His hair was disheveled and his eyes looked heavy and sad, dark circles hanging underneath them. He looked so beautiful.

JJ was wordless as he strode towards you, his arms out as he finally held you lightly in his arms.

“I need you to hold me tighter, Jayje, please.” “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“*Please.”

The blond responded by just holding you tighter against him, one hand around your waist and the other supporting the back of your head. You let out a choked sob at the feeling of him around you, this is all you ever wanted, all you ever needed. It was like air was finally rushing through your lungs.

“I’m sorry I was angry, I’m so sorry.”

You just shook your head, unable to speak words as you continued to cry, wordlessly telling him not to apologize, just pulling him impossibly closer.

JJ stumbled a little as you pulled him, “Okay, okay. Let’s sit down.” He said softly, leading you to the outside couch, careful not to loosen his grip on your frame. JJ sat down in the corner and pulled you with him, situating your body between his legs, your arms wrapped around his neck as your head fell to rest in the crook of his neck. JJ’s hand that wasn’t on your waist came to rest on your cheek, his thumb slowly stroking your cheekbone back and forth.

“I’m so scared.” Your voice squeaked through your sobs and hiccups and JJ’s heart shattered, scattering broken pieces at his feet.

“M’not gonna leave you. Promise.”

You didn’t respond as you held up your pinky, signalling for him to hook his around yours, and he did, leaving a sweet kiss on your fingers, then returning his hand to it’s spot on your cheek, holding onto you for dear life. He wanted to find Tyler and kill him himself, even if only for the way you were shaking in his arms, it scared him. He had never seen you this broken before, he didn’t think anybody had, not including Sarah or Kie, but even then the amount was few.

He didn’t want to shush you or tell you everything was okay, because it wasn’t, really. Your abusive step brother was nowhere to be found and he had nearly killed you. It wasn’t okay. So, he let you cry and he held you, letting out an involuntary whine every time your body would tremor and whispering sweet things in your ear, until eventually you fell asleep in his arms, your breathing finally normal.

John B came out the front door when he heard your crying stop, Pope trailing close behind him, and the two leaned on the railing across from JJ.

“I wanna kill him.” JJ said, not looking up from his gaze on you. “Look at her.”

JJ was holding back his own tears now, forcing out a couple coughs to try and cover up his cracking voice. “The way she just broke down, I- I’ve never seen her like this before, guys. She usually has something funny to say, a joke to pull even in the toughest situations but she’s so scared and sad. Fuck, I never want to see her like this again.”

John B and Pope were silent as JJ talked, just listening to their distraught friend.

“I’m not leaving her. Not ‘til that son of a bitch is dead or behind bars for the rest of his life.”

Pope nodded, “I think that’s smart, actually.”

The boys were interrupted when Sarah brought out your bag, holding it out to JJ.

“She needs to change her bandages, they look a mess.”

JJ grabbed the bag and placed it on the ground next him, then turned to you and gently shook you awake, stroking your hair and whispering softly.

“Hey, pretty girl, Gotta get up and change your bandages, okay? They’re all twisted.”

You nodded and stood up, immediately whimpering from losing the extra compression around your ribs and the pain in your head. JJ shot up, fawning over you, offering to carry you to the bathroom. You just shook your head and made your way inside, keeping your eyes on your feet so you wouldn’t make eye contact with Pope or John B.

You made it to the bathroom before JJ did, so you sat on the counter and waited, he must’ve been talking to the boys outside.

“You should’ve said something sooner, Sarah. This could’ve been avoided.” You heard Kie’s voice through the door.

“What? Do you know how mad she would be if I did? She’d never talk to me again.” “At least she’d be safe.” Kie spat.

“Look, I- I didn’t know that was gonna happen, okay-”

“Obviously.” Kie muttered.

“You don’t think I’ve been beating myself up about it all week?”

“You should be beating your-”

“Kie, lay off.” John B’s voice interrupted, followed by the slamming of a bedroom door, and silence.

You frowned at the conversation. This was no one’s fault, no one but Tyler. He’s the scum who did this to you, there was no one else to blame. Kie was angry and looking for someone to pin it on who wasn’t conveniently missing, but it wasn’t fair to Sarah.

JJ entered the room not a moment later, holding your bag with fresh compression wraps and bandages, a nervous smile plastered on his face.

“Let me see.” He said, setting down the bag on the counter next to you.

You had a hesitant look on your face, you knew he meant for you to take off your shirt, and you didn’t want to. After everything-

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” He whispered so softly you almost didn’t hear him. “I just wanna help you, okay? I need to see them so I can help you, baby.”

You nodded and he mirrored the action, slowly bringing his arms forward to pull your shirt over your head, leaving you in just a bra and shorts. JJ didn’t bat an eye at your chest, solely focused on your injuries. He stayed silent while he carefully unwrapped the compression from your ribcage, which was now twisted from your sleeping position. He sucked in through his teeth while he looked at your ribcage, horribly discolored and red from the wrap, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to your tiny heart tattoo, almost invisible from the bruising.

“Broken?” He asked.

You shrugged. You don’t pay attention when doctors talk, that was Christine’s job.

JJ didn’t acknowledge your answer, just continued his work. He pressed a kiss to each spot he unwrapped, telling you something about how it always made them heal faster.

“Kisses from a handsome man like myself make everything better.” He had said with a playful glint in his eye.

You wanted to smile and the sweetness and pureness of it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

JJ finished and crumpled up the old wraps and bandages before tossing them in the garbage and looking back at you. He looked at you for a moment before reaching his hand out and softly running his fingers over your red scratches. You couldn’t read his expression. You still didn’t know JJ well, having hated him the entire time you’ve known him up until just over a week ago, you were seeing him in a new light, and you couldn’t tell what he was making of all of this.

You told yourself he was probably over this, annoyed that he was having to deal with the beaten down girl in front of him instead of sticking himself into the gorgeous blonde he had wrapped around him at the Boneyard.

He thinks you're ugly and pathetic. Who the fuck scratches themselves?

“These look like they hurt, baby. You gotta stop doing this to yourself.” He said, bringing his blue eyes up to meet yours. “Not that easy.” You rasped back.

JJ sighed and nodded, he of all people knew how not easy it was to quit a coping mechanism. He always hated when Pope or Kiara would try to tell him to just “Stop drinking” or “Stop getting in fights”. It isn't easy when you feel like that’s the one thing that will help you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said seriously, his eyes full of intensity as he looked at you, the girl he felt so strongly for that he mistook the feeling for hatred.

You scoffed.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

JJ sighed and looked down before settling himself between your legs, his eyebrows knit together and eyes sharp on yours. “You know.”

“What kinda girl lets this happen to herself, JJ? It’s ugly, I look ugly.” Tears started to build up again and JJ didn’t know what to say.

“Baby, you didn’t let anything happen. This is not on you.”

You shook your head as more tears fell, “You don’t get it, I’m weak.”

JJ just shook his head, “No.”

“Stop disagreeing with me!” You yelled, trying to punch his chest but crying out from the pain in your hands. “I’m weak, I’m pathetic, I’m gross, I’m ugly! He did this to me! He made me this way and now he gets away with it! He gets away-”

You were inconsolable, your words were barely coherent as snot and tears ran down your face. You wanted JJ to agree, tell you you were weak and ugly, you needed to be right. It was comfortable to be right. “I’m right, JJ! Don’t fucking tell me I’m wrong! Why are you lying to me?!”

“Baby-”

“He did this to me! I’ll never feel clean again!”

If JJ’s heart wasn’t fully broken before, it was now. He felt utterly helpless for the first time in his life, completely not knowing what to do. He always had a next move. Even when his dad was beating the shit out of him, even when a kook had him pinned down, face in the sand and barely able to breathe. But now, looking at you, body broken and bruised and lips and eyes red and puffy from crying, choking on your own sobs, JJ felt fucking useless.

“(Y/n), please, breathe, angel.”

You stopped for a second and pushed your hair out of your face, looking at him confused.

“You can let it out, just remember to breathe, okay? You’re gonna panic and scratch yourself again.” His voice was so gentle as his hand lightly squeezed the back of your neck, his other hand softly caressing your thigh.

You just nodded slowly, expecting him to yell at you for your outburst or tell you you’re being childish, but you received the opposite. You began to take deep breaths for JJ, beginning to realize you’d do just about anything to get rid of the heart broken expression on his face.

He took deep breaths with you, placing your hands on his chest and covering them with his own so you could feel the rise and fall and the patter of his heart beat. He gave you a small smile when your breathing settled, and he let you fall into his chest, wrapping his arms around you. “Proud of you, pretty girl. Did so good.”

You whined and pulled away from him, you wanted to see his face, to see the way he was looking at you. JJ’s hands rested on your hips and he gave them a gentle squeeze as you stared at his ocean eyes.

“I wanna kiss you.” You whispered, your hands coming up to cradle the sides of his neck.

JJ shook his head, “Soon, I promise. Okay? But not now.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. He couldn’t kiss you while you were torn apart and terrified, he wanted to see the sparkle in your eyes, that striking grin on your cherry painted lips.

He doesn’t want to kiss you.

“Not like this. Not when you feel this way, okay?”

Oh.

You could’ve sworn your heart burst and melted all the way down to your toes. This was a new JJ. Even when he hated you he probably would’ve jumped at the opportunity to do anything with you, shutting up your loud mouth with his own. But now, it’s almost like he’s afraid to break you.

You nodded but stayed silent, finally letting your body rest against his. “I need to talk to the group.”

JJ nodded, helping you off of the counter. His heart squeezed when you intertwined your fingers with his, gently holding on so you wouldn’t hurt your hand further. His heart skipped a beat when you brought your free hand up to hold onto his forearm. You were gonna give him butterflies forever.

The two of you walked outside the bathroom and you saw your friends sitting and waiting for you, and you began to feel nauseous.

Once JJ got you out of the bathroom and onto the couch comfortably, you let go of his hand and he suddenly felt empty. You ran your hands up and down your thighs with anxiety before letting out a small whimper, feeling your body begin to surge with panic as you thought about what you had to tell your friends.

“You’re safe.” JJ whispered, his hands hovering over you like he wasn’t sure what you wanted from him. You looped your arm through his and he brought his hand over to gently rest on your knee, giving you a soft kiss on your temple.

“I wanted to tell you guys this as soon as I knew, but I had to tell you in person and when I got here the emotions were just too much and-”

JJ pulled your hand down from your neck, softly shushing you to stop you from rambling. You hadn’t even realized you were scratching. You took a deep breath and looked at JJ again, waiting for his quick nod before you took the deepest breath of your life and said the words you had been dreading to say all week.

“Tyler killed my mom and sister.”

+

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[itsmyartfam]

Dadzawa fic rec list

So lately I’ve been reading a lot of Dadzawa fics so I thought I’d share them with you. I shortened down the summaries of some of the longer ones- I didn’t put them in my own words of course, but I just used the shortened snippets that authors sometimes put at the end of their own longer summaries. They’re in no particular order of greatness, and I tried to get a good blend of popular and less popular ones so here u go.

1) i. shaky hands- rexcorvidae

midoriya has chronic pain, and tries to hide it. aizawa deals with this, and learns something surprising along the way.

One-Shot. Honestly their whole whumptober collection is amazing I would totally read them all if you have the time, they’re pretty much all loaded with great Dadzawa content

2) Not all exits are made Equal- LunaLucrea

When a raid goes wrong, and Aizawa gets taken, he's hardly expecting to be found. He's a professional Underground Hero. He's seen situations like this play out before, and knows how the cards usually fall.

He's got people he'll miss of course, and he feels terrible about what this is going to do to Hizashi and Eri, but these are the types of risks he agreed to when he signed on the dotted line all those years ago. He's ready to accept his fate.

Too bad for him his former students are tenacious little shits.

Three chapters. I love seeing how Aizawa interacts with older Midoriya in the first chapter and how he thinks of all of his former students now that they’re pro heroes, he’s such a proud dad but he’s also so self-deprecating and he needs some love and class 1-A will force it on him. Wholesome, 10/10, but also warning for whump! on Aizawa’s part.

3) To the people we admire- The_ crownless_ queen

Eri learns about autographs, and how they're a way for fans to show they like their heroes. Naturally, she wants all of them — and especially Eraserhead's.

One-Shot. I don’t read many Eri fics but my god, this one is adorable. Eri learns about autographs and wants Aizawa’s but his students know that Aizawa doesn’t really give autographs so they devise a plan to get one out of him- basically by making him jealous of Eri getting autographs from every hero but him. It’s wholesome, Dadzawa is like ‘wtf Eri’, I love it.

4) Inhibitions- Thealmostrhetoricalquestion

Todoroki gets zapped by a Quirk that effectively lowers someone's inhibitions, and Aizawa deals with the strange, humorous, heart-breaking fallout.

The train ride back is something of a nightmare. Not because it goes badly, or because something awful happens, but because Aizawa can’t get rid of this feeling in his chest every time he sees Todoroki’s unusual, carefree smile. He looks like nothing has ever hurt him.

One-Shot. Lol, this one’s funny- Todoroki acts all loopy and carefree and Aizawa is frantically scrambling after him trying to make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble, all while finding out more than he’d ever thought he’d learn about his student. Good shit, good comedy, good angst.

5) I consider myself lucky- alightintheshadows

For some of us, our teachers are the greatest role models we'll ever have.

One-Shot. Ugh, this is so sappy and kinda cheesy but I love it! Izuku gives his dads All Might and Aizawa gifts because he loves is grateful to them. WHOLESOME SHIT

6) Not in the Job Description- IidaRei98

A collection of drabbles revolving around the Dadazawa and Class 1A. Mostly fluff with some hurt/comfort - whatever pops into my head really!

Incomplete, 56/? Chapters. Solid collection of dadzawa drabbles. I didn’t finish reading them all because I get easily distracted away from long fics, but since it doesn’t follow a plot it’s easy to put down and pick back up when you wanna get your dadzawa fix.

7) passing through fire- achievingelysium

“What happened? A villain?”

“Ye- yeah,” Midoriya croaks. Shouta starts walking.

“I was there,” Shouta says, feeling through the words before he speaks, “but I don’t remember?”

Midoriya closes his eyes.

“No,” he agrees, “you wouldn’t. But- but you... were there. With... me.”

Aizawa finds himself in a street with little memory of how he got there. Then he discovers Midoriya, beaten and bruised, who claims Aizawa protected him—but as Aizawa regains pieces of his memory he realizes Midoriya may be lying, and he's the one who's done his own student harm.

One-Shot. OOH, OUCH, FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE! God I love the Dadzawa ANGST in this! I haven’t seen a dadzawa fic with a plot like this before, so I highly recommend checking this one out, especially if you like ANGST! Love it!

8) a penny for your thoughts- cassiopeia721

While visiting Eri at the hospital following her rescue from the Shie Hassaikai, Izuku and Aizawa-sensei both run into a nurse with a telepathy based quirk, and Izuku finds himself in a telepathic bond with his teacher. This is... somewhat worrying, considering how many secrets Izuku needs to keep.

Six chapters. Yet another Dadzawa fic with a unique concept that I have never come across before. Very good, much angst! My only complaint is I wish Izuku could’ve heard a bit more of Aizawa’s angsty thoughts, the whole thought-hearing did feel a bit one-sided at times, but overall it was a very good fic. The angst of Izuku struggling to keep his many secrets from Aizawa for a whole week was *chef’s kiss* Good dad-son bonding.

9) Geyser- spineless

Izuku faints during class when weeks of sleeping and eating poorly catch up with him. Aizawa, All Might, and his friends, remind him that no matter what he's going through, he doesn't have to do it alone.

Three Chapters. Good Dadzawa being all disapproving of his son Izuku pushing himself too hard and not taking care of himself like he can fucking talk lol. But also some angst cuz Izuku is a tormented boi who has been through too much and is Not OkayTM and his dads are there to help him.

10) The World on His Shoulders- baggytshirtsandtiredeyes

During their second year, Aizawa decides to take some of the students on patrol to give them a taste of the underground hero life. But of course, nothing goes as planned when UA's resident Problem Child is involved.

One-Shot. Izuku is a BAMF and Aizawa is like O.O. I can’t say anything more. This fic deserves more attention.

____________________________________________________

Okie dokie, that’s enough for now. If you guys like my recommendations, maybe I’ll make another list in the future! 

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Graveyard Siblings (4)

I am sorry for not posting in a while. School is a total bitch. Here is part 4 of a fic that is not a fic.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)

-------

Tall Marinette.(I admit I might be projecting a little here.)

One day, she took out something from someplace high and the whole family realized that ‘holy shit when did you get so tall?’

Bonus if Jason comes back from a long mission and had a wtf moment because she was wearing 6-inch-heels and met his eyes with them on.

“Pixie?!”

------

You know how Bruce has the identity of Matches Malone to infiltrate the Gotham Underground.

While Jason does the drug deals more street crime stuff, Maria uses an excuse of being the representative for Red Hood excuse to mingle with the rich people who does crime on the side (Penguin), she uses it to go to black market auctions and buy some of the lost miraculouses which got into the hands of black market dealers.

Jason knows about it and acts as her ‘bodyguard’ anytime he can or sends one of his henchmen to be one with a death threat if she gets a single scratch on her.

Bruce is unaware of this. Or is he?

------

Mari helps with running WE since she is a little less busy with the vigilante side of things.

It started with Tim panicking about deadlines and Mari offering to help, to Bruce and Tim bullying the board to have her as co-CEO.

She has to be that and head of Afterlife. So she is very busy. Doesn’t know about what comes next….

------

Somehow the class comes to Gotham for a trip. It has been 3 years since her death.

Mari has changed her appearance since the day she left Paris. She has highlights in her hair after a ‘sibling bonding day’ with Jason. Her hair is kept short for convenience and not in pigtails. Along with her tall height and more confident aura, she is almost unrecognizable.

She rides a motorcycle too.

The class waits in the lobby for the tour and in walks this badass woman with aviator sunglasses, leather jacket and designer clothes which was all MT brand, making a lot of people swoon.

She takes off her glasses and walks past the class. Checking stuff on her phone and sipping coffee in her other hand.

She seems familiar but they couldn’t figure out why. (All except Chloe, Alix and Felix who are snickering in the background.)

Lila sees her and comments on how she must be a criminal with the way she dresses. (Lila internally freaks out because were her eyes messing with her? Because she looked a little like Marinette. Also jealous of the new arrival for stealing all the attention.) Alya takes the bait and calls security to ‘arrest’ her.

They just laugh. The class doesn’t understand, speaking in confused French.

-------------

“I am Maria Todd-Wayne, also known as designer MT. CEO of Afterlife and co-CEO of the very company you are in. I am allowed in here. Don’t judge a book by its cover.” she said in perfect French.

“But Lila told us you can’t speak French.”

“Who?”

“Lila Rossi, your friend. She told us that you and MT were dating.”

“Me dating myself. Okay I love myself because self-love is a thing but that is a whole other level. MT are my initials. Anyone who has a brain could have figured that out or at the very least do a Google search. I am not sure where your friend got that notion.”

“Hey, Bean, come on. We have a long day ahead of us.” Tim reminded her.

“Goodbye but cease the rumours or you would be escorted off the premises.”

As they rode up the elevator, “Tim, why are they here?”

“They are the lucky winners of the Wayne Enterprise Young Prodigies Contest. Why, Maria?”

“Lucky, huh.” She muttered under her breath. She might as well tell him. They are the Bats and they will find out anyway. “They are from my old class, the one you know…”

“Oh. Want me to send them back? I can do that if they are making you uncomfortable.”

“Nah. Too much to deal with. And it is unfair to send them back over a petty grudge. Besides, I could have some fun.”

“Anything that Bruce and I should be worried about?”

“I swear no killing. Just because Jason came back from the dead, hell-bent on killing. Doesn’t mean I am too.”

“Cool, just don’t do any property damage or traumatize our employees.”

“I might need you to erase some footage later and tell Bruce about this.”

“Some brownies, my favourite coffee cake, the ‘special’ brew and you have yourself a deal.”

-----

So basically she just showed up around where the class was ‘by coincidence’.

Talk to a few people and take them out of earshot of the rest of the class.

End the conversation by saying a few things only they and her would know. Insides jokes and secrets. (I pick her old childhood friends like, Nino, Kim and maybe Sabrina)

Uses Trixx to turn into a walking dead version of her 15-year old self and disappears as they freak out about how she knew that secret/story.

Freaks them out further by appearing again in front of the whole class and pretending not to know their previous conversation.

Mari manages to get Lila alone.

I should also say that Lila thought that her curse was making her see MT as Marinette.

It terrifies Lila when she finds out that MT is actually Marinette, not dead but alive after all this time and apparently living the high life she wanted. This fact made the Italian swell up with jealousy.

“I hope you are not lying about me again, Lila Rossi. Like you always do.”

“What do you want with me? I swear I didn’t say anything else about you.”

“Aw, Lila. Don’t recognize me?”

Maria flickers and Ladybug is in her place and later, the Marinette that appeared in her bedroom and back to normal.

“You! How? Why are you here? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Why not? I mean you did take away nearly all my friends, my parents and made my life a living hell. If you think about it, I am just repaying you the same favor. How are the others? Treating you well?”

“What did you do to me, you bitch?”

“I just put a curse on you. The ghosts of your past will haunt you until you stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop Lying, Liar. They all feed and grow in power from your lies. I wonder what would happen in a few years if you kept this up.”

“You think you can get away with this. This is war and I have already beaten you once.”

“Oh Rossi. This isn’t a war. It’s a death sentence.” With that she disappears.

Lila tries to tell her class that MT is actually Marinette. She is met with crazy looks. Some of them look like they want to believe her but don't because they don’t want to look crazy too.

Oh. Adrien wasn’t on the trip because his mother didn’t want him to go to the crime capital of America although the crime rate has gone down a little due to Hellbat curing some of the city’s bad energy..

Right after Lila told the class about MT, Scarecrow came to steal some Wayne tech and the class got caught in the crossfire. So later, it was brushed off as Lila seeing things due to the fear toxins.

-----

Joker made the mistake of kidnapping her. Once was enough to never try that again.

(It involved the use of nearly all of the Miraculouses, old and new. He was thoroughly humiliated at the end of it and his picture by the time Hellbat was done with him was on the Batfam’s Christmas Card. Like I said she doesn’t kill but making them beg for death was okay.)

It coincided with Jason’s Birthday and the video of the incident was ‘the best birthday present ever.’ The uncensored version was watched at the next undead siblings bonding day. Damian included.

After hearing a few rumours about what happened, most criminals were glad for Hellbat’s rare appearances. (which happens once a month and during really busy time of the year)

There was a time where Penguin was carrying out one of their plans and when Hellbat showed up, all of their thugs surrendered instantly. (No Batman did not pout at the fact that this French girl was more imitating than him.)

Scarecrow used his newest batch of fear toxin on her during the first year after she died.

He was astounded to see her still standing and she later proceeded to beat the crap out of him while being under the toxin’s influences.

He has tried to stay out of her way since then.

She saw Scarecrow as Hawkmoth and said a lot of things in French which scared everyone because she said it with so much hate, anger and in a very menacing tone that everyone is like ‘I am not touching this.’

It took Red Hood and Nightwing to restrain her from further beating Scarecrow up.

He was one of the people who sympathised with the Joker after the Incident.

The next was Riddler being so arrogant in his plans and managed to get Hellbat and Spoiler into a death trap.

“You know I have a few regrets in life. And my final one is that I got captured and am now going to get killed by a walking fashion disaster.”

“Hey! I made this myself. I will have, you know.”

“You have a brilliant mind but no sense of fashion at all. When I get out of here, I am going to burn that thing with you in it, for your crimes against fashion.”

“What is wrong with it?”

Cue a lot of roasting of Riddler’s costume and Spoiler adding more fuel to the fire.

They manage to escape while Riddler is crying on the floor, having an existential crisis.

The thing was no one knows why Riddler was silent the entire week after encountering Hellbat and crying when anyone mentions it.

They now think Hellbat is the scariest one in the Batfamily, second to Batman and tied with Black Bat/Orphan.

The few who find out what really happened in the warehouse that night. Blackmail material on the Riddler.

Three ( four if you count Penguin) of Gotham’s biggest villains of the Rogues Gallery scared of Bats’ newest addition. Hellbat was not someone they wanted to mess with.

---------

Magic crisis stuff. Like a world ending event thing. Dr. Fate says they need the Miraculous jewels but the last mention of them had been in Paris a few years ago and had vanished since then.

Costantine looked at Batman. “You know who you have to call.”

Batman calls Hellbat. Who hasn’t been introduced yet to the JL.

“Ah. Bats. Not that I question your authority or anything but how can your newest ‘ward’ help us?”

She takes off her helmet and reveals her face and more importantly, her earrings.

Tikki comes out of her hiding place.

“I am the current Guardian of the Miracle Box and wielder of the Ladybug miraculous during Hawkmoth’s reign in Paris a few years ago. Any other Questions?”

“Oh great Guardian. Tikki. It is an honour to meet you.”-Wonder Woman, who else.

“You too, Princess Diana. Pass on my regards to your mother.”-Tikki

A huge face-off and the big evil is defeated.

WW asks abt HM and gives a horrified face at the end of her story. Nearly everyone who eavesdropped on the conversation was.

"Forgive me, Guardian for not aiding you in your hour of need.”

“It’s okay. I understand that there are other crises, world-ending ones that JL have to take care of. I am better now. Mostly.”

“I doubt it with those revenge schemes I found lying around. But she is getting there with her therapist.”-Batman

“I hate you, Dad.”

“Did you just call him Dad?”

“No….”

“Do you see me as a father figure?”

“I see you as a nuisance with how nosy you are with my personal business. So you are more of a bother figure.”

“I see you as part of the family too, Daughter.” (Got that reference anyone?)

“Jason was the one who adopted me.”

“Legally you are adopted by me.”

Maria with Pikachu surprised face because nobody told her that. “My life is a lie.”

-------

(Part 5)

[kkokopi]

Hellooo, I hope you are okay 😊, i just read the "their crush catches them staring" and I loved so much.

May I request a (y/n) who is from another country and when she gets mad (not necessarily with them but it could be) she stars cursing and talking in another language? And them they just be like "wtf are you talking?"

I really like to see a Brazilian (y/n) with Shinichiro, Mikey and Chifuyu but you can change if you want, I really don't mind :)

Ps: I didn't find your rules so I hope me request is okay

Aaaa I really love the idea of this! I feel like the boys would get all shocked pikachu faces and look at y/n like she grew another head 😭😭 As a bilinggual I often find myself code switching to a different language especially in expressions and sounds of frustration or when my grandparents would tell me to repeat what I say in my native language because they say english is wayy too fast (I'm filo btw)

Hearing their s/o speak in their native language

includes: shinichiro, mikey, chifuyu

warnings: swearing

wordcount: 2115

NOTE: so this is the first time i'm ever doing sumthing that involves another language and I did a little research on the words I've decided to put but please feel free to correct me if I used some of the words in the wrong context or if the translation i've put on the word is wrong

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this hope yall enjoy!

shinichiro

As a boyfriend he prolly already knows that you can speak a different language

but

that doesn't stop him from blinking back and getting surprised whenever he hears you though

cue the core memory he had when he heard you speaking to your grandma over the phone one time

it was all normal until it wasnt

from the start of the conversation on the phone, you had your grandma on speaker and he understood every bit of what yall were saying

at first, he thought he started disassociating when he thought he heard you start speaking gibberish

has a confused face and blinks back like 🙂

"i just understood what they were talking about a second ago and now 🙃🙃"

literally doesn't know what to do whenever you speak a different language like does he say anything or do you need a hug or a pat

so he just awkwardly stands there in hopes you'd explain whst just happened

It was one of those days where you were bombarded with hell works from uni. Having already pulled 3 all-nighters this week and still a massive pile of essays needed to be done and god let's not get started on your thesis paper. The only thing that had you fueled right now was the two bobas you had earlier and now an iced latte.

So much for the last month of your senior year

With squinted eyes you could see the clock read 11:09

Not knowing shinichiro had been behind you, who had been sitting by your shared kitchens table, watching for what felt like 10 minutes still somewhat drowsy having just woken up because he noticed you weren't in bed with him yet.

Uni really did take most of your time and he always did applaud you for being quite the model student but at the price of your health he wasn't just going to stand back while you overworked yourself to death

"I wonder if tonight's gonna be another all-nighter" you say aloud before opening up your laptop to start on those hellish essays.

'How many needed to be done again' you think as you count the ones that were nearly due on your laptop's sticky notes

(A/n: do people still use sticky notes as a reminders tab for hw or is it just me huhuhu)

one...

two...

three...

An unamused chuckle left your lips then had your tongue kiss against your front teeth, "damn this is really gonna be the death of me" you mutter as you checking over the requirements needed for the first paper you chose to start on

--

Literary Critique on a Historical Account

Font: Arial

Font size: 11

Wordcount: 2000 words minimum

--

Running a hand through your hair," Foda-se essa merda" (fuck this shit) you say before you started drafting out what you want to put on your essay

Shinichiro who still stood behind you, who usually had no clue what you were saying whenever you spoke brazilian but this sure as hell gave "screw this" vibes

Letting out a chuckle he brings both his hands to your tense shoulders and kneads at them before kissing the top of your head, "it's cute when your mad and speak in your native language" he feels you squirm and whine in response to that sending him a small glare before looking back at your screen

"We'll do just that one essay tonight and let's get you to bed, the others aren't due for a couple more days anyway" he adds as he grabs a chair to sit next to you

bonus:

"So what'd ya say earlier?" shinichiro yawns sleepily his head down and cheeks squished by the kitchen table

"Fuck this shit"

"Figured," he laughs, "Damn my portugese really do be on point these days"

mikey

for mikey you're pretty sure you told him but he ends up forgetting so the first time he heard you swear in a dif language (which he doesnt know is a swear ) he was shookt

like eyes wide looking like a shocked pikachu

at first he starts to think he just didn't hear you properly or he wasn't paying attention or that you just mispronounced a word but then it happens again and again

thinks its sum sercret code you aren't telling him and he gets pouty over that

you tell him its cause you have a habit of code switching into languages when ur in a mood

feels betrayed you never told him but you remind him that yes you did tell him and he mustve forgot

asks you to teach him basic greetings and sum swearing

thinks some words are cute and fun to say so he uses them a lot and brags he knows how to speak in brazilian portugese

he goes "oh this?" "it's portugese, ya my s/o taught me" "cool right?"

Today was a saturday and you and mikey normally spend them alternating from each of your houses to chill and hangout but what turned into you two just hanging out chilling turned into a family reunion he wasn't expecting.

It started with a phone call from your mother, who had went on a trip abroad to visit your auntie and her other siblings since she and her family had grew up in Brazil and mikey only just found out about that fact a few moments he had learned you could speak the said language.

"Mama!" you beamed just as you picked up the call, mikey by the back goes oh and shouts, "Auntie (M/n)! Tell her I said hi!"

"Mikey says hi," you tell your mom who you put on speaker and says hello back. A ruckus could be heard on the background and a voice asking "quem e mikey?" (who's mikey) only for your mother to respond "o namorado da minha filha" (my daughter's boyfriend) to which sounds of gasps and excitement and some hushed whispers could be heard from the other line

You laugh, "was that Auntie?" the response only met with the person in question

"(Y/n) hello〜" you hear the voice of your aunt chime to which you do the same before loudly greeting, "Tia!" (Auntie)

Exchanges were made and Mikey hears you hum in response before saying, "Tudo bem," (everything's great) before glancing back at him with a smile to which he smiles back patiently waiting on you like a puppy and then you add, "E voce" (what about you?)

From there the conversation had stretched on from there and Mikey could feel himself disassociating with every foreign word as he looks around confused, he pouted cause all he wanted was a saturday to spend time with his s/o but then again he thinks when the last tike you had even talk to your aunt was that mustve been long too so he forces himself to patiently wait since he knew family really is priority

and seeing you so happy, carefree and speaking so naturally despite it a language that was foreign to him had him smiling, he cant deny the way that your happiness brings him happiness too

Soon you had sat on the bed back with mikey who had laid his head on your lap rubbing his head on your belly

"Tchau tia" you say while running a hand through your boyfriend's hair

"Tchau my lovely niece ," she replies back but not a second later

"Mikey kun tchau tchau, sorry you had to wait long" she adds making you laugh and mikey to perk up from his place on your lap

"s-sem problemas" (no problem) he says looking at you if he's said it right to which you happily nodded

your aunt was amazed and complimented his skills and for being so smart which boosted his ego quite the bit (you swear your aunt exaggerates too much)

As soon as the call ended mikey snuggled back into you "can we hangout now?" mikey asks with a pout, "felt left out a while back now take responsibility" you laughed at that and mikey sat up to your confusion.

"So tchau tchau means bye right?" mikey asks with a serious face to which you respond with a hum

"thought it ws adeus hmmmmmm i like tchau tchau better," he says before going back to his position on your lap

bonus:

After mikey met up with draken for a little lunch discussion and both had to leave mikey saw his opportunity.

"ken-chin tchau tchau!" he waved before driving off

draken who stood with a confused face muttered the words, "tchau tchau? the hell is that?"

chifuyu

thinks its really cool you could speak brazilian portugese or like a different language in general

loves it but once again this boy is in the clueless squad with shinichiro whenever he does hear you speak it

boy really be lost sometimes

and no he's not talking bout those one-liner phrases but those full on rants you have in the language

the boy would have to rely on your facial expressions and actions to see if what you were going on about is a good or bad thing though sumtimes he can't really tell anymore

first time he heard you speak said language he was wundering if he had heard you right or if you even were talking to him

you were muttering on about something and he hadn't quite the clue so he was just intently watching you while you murmur to yourself

to be honest he'd be more curious and intrigued than shocked when he finally pieced that you infact were speaking in a different language

one of your bonding moments include word of the day where he'd ask you what random objects you guys had in your language and stressing over pronounciation and intonations

You were pacing around your room with your phone in hand muttering in portugese, that was the state chifuyu found you in when he unexpectedly came over to hangout which had been approximately 15 minutes ago.

To anyone else, it might've been a weird sight but having known you and your quirky habits he had grown accustomed to it.

Though the first time he did see you pacing around the room muttering in a foreign language he thought you were performing some sort of ritual though he knew well enough now that it was a worrying habit you had. That whenever you were uncertain of something or if you stressed yourself over something too much then a switch would flip inside of you, your brazilian switch, because you thought more rationally whenever you were more in a comfortable state, a state which feels at home to you

So knowing you were worried about something but not knowing what that something was about sent chifuyu at unease. So the last 15 minutes he had spent waiting in confusion waiting for you to spill the beans whenever you were ready

"Se voce fizer isso," (if you do this) you started, "voce vai se foder..." (you might fuck it up/ get yourself in trouble)

After letting out a whine you lay back flat on your bed with on of your arms covering your eyes

"calmed down yet?" chifuyu asks and you shake your head no

"can you tell me why you're worried this time?" he pries a little

"i did a stupid" he hears you say

"A stupid?" he tries to see if you would start spilling, honestly a little curious what "stupid" you did to make you go so fussy about

"eu nem sei" (i dont even know)

"hey hey I won't be able to understand if you start code switching now"

"dont laugh" you pouted before looking him straight in the eye as you sat up

"why would i laugh"

"because!" the event seemed to have rushed back into your head as you whined and buried yourself in your pillows out of embarrassment.

"c'mon now (y/n)" chifuyu says as he tugs on you but you only hugged into your pillows tighter.

"I sent in the wrong assignment," you say and chifuyu stops his tugging and runs a hand through his hair and leans back on your bed

"it's not that ba- "I accidentally sent in my Iwaoi fanfic instead and I can't unsend because its locked in!" you exclaimed burying your head a muffled, "now my teacher is gonna know I ship them! and-and aaaaaaaaaa" your scream muffled by the pillow, "I can't anymore aaaaaaaaaaaa this Ruim pra caralho" (fucking bad)

Chifuyu couldn't take it anymore and a laugh escaped his lips as he pat down on his distraught s/o who only whined at him more and swore in her native tongue at how he was laughing at her.

I'm really sorry for having this kinda rushed but to all my bilingual and multilinggual babies out there a question for you! What triggers you into code switching or what triggers you to speak in your native language? Enjoyed? Leave a tip :)

[shellbilee]

One Night in NOLA

My smutty second fic for @whiskey-cokenfanfic’s very belated birthday present! I absolutely LOVED writing this smutty Anthony Mackie piece and really think more fics featuring this gorgeous man should be written! Once again, this was meant to be short and I clearly got far too carried away!

Pairing: OFC (Lauren) x Anthony Mackie

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Words: 9K (okay WTF this was supposed to be short)

A/N: The second part of my belated gift. Part three will be a sebastian stan pairing!

Lauren’s high heels clicked against the concrete as she made her way along the busy sidewalk. People seemed to be out and about and everywhere - something she’d come to realise was the norm for a Saturday night in the city of New Orleans. She sidestepped two dressed up women walking together, glancing up at the pitch black sky as the rumble of thunder sounded in the air. 

A storm was brewing - it had been all day, and Lauren wondered how long it would take for the rain to come. The night air was warm, almost humid even, the scent of the imminent rain lingering softly in the air. She reached up to run her fingers through her hair, the action giving her a momentary second of relief from the night’s heat.

Lauren slowed her stride when she felt her purse suddenly vibrate, pausing for a moment to stop and fish her ringing cell phone from her black leather bag. She retrieved her mobile and turned it to face her, smiling when she looked down at the illuminated screen. Bella. She dragged her finger across the screen to answer the call, turning to look at herself in the reflection of the shop window she was standing in front of.

“Hey girl, what’s up?” Lauren answered, fixing her hair with her free hand and admiring her outfit,  I’m just about to catch a cab”.

She turned just as two guys walked by her, Lauren catching their eye and flashing a small, flirtatious smile as they both not so subtly, checked her out as they walked. She grinned to herself. She felt confident, care-free and ready for a night out on the town.

It had been a while since Lauren had been out - she’d been flat out with her new job since moving to Louisiana two months ago and hadn’t really had much of a chance to get out and explore her new city. So when Bella, one of her closest new work friends, had suggested they head out for a drink on Saturday night, she’d all but jumped at the opportunity.

“Hey babe” Bella answered, her voice rushed and slightly out of breath.

Lauren frowned, immediately picking up on Bella’s tone.

“Bell’ is everything okay? Are you okay?”

Lauren heard a kind of beeping in the background of the call, the sound making her think of a hospital room.

“Yeah I’m fine--- oh, hang on one sec” Bella replied before pausing suddenly, Lauren’s eyes widening when she heard what sounded like a muffled groan and then Bella talking to someone.

“Lauren, I’m really sorry to do this to you, and I know it’s super last minute” Bella explained, coming back to her phone suddenly, “But I won’t make it for drinks tonight. Em’s gone into labour”.

Lauren’s disappointment at Bella’s cancelling quickly morphed into excitement. Emily was Bella’s twin sister - her twin sister, who, was currently 39 and a half weeks pregnant. 

Lauren laughed, now fully understanding the groaning sound in the background of the call. She looked up again when another rumble of thunder sounded from somewhere high in the night sky.

“I’m really sorry Loz” Bella continued,  “I know how much we were looking forward to it! Raincheck?”

Lauren smiled. “Aw Bell. It’s totally fine, don’t worry at all. Raincheck absolutely”. 

The thunder sounded again and Lauren looked up in time to see a bright flash of lightning crack through the darkened sky. A moment later, the first of the rain started to fall.

“Give Em my best okay? Tell her to breathe” Lauren went on, stepping back under the eaves of the shopfront she was standing next to, sheltering herself from the increasing rain. 

“If she’s anything like you, I’m sure she’ll get through this without a sweat”.

Lauren heard Bella laugh, Lauren herself chuckling when she heard Bella passing on her message.

“Oh I hate you Lauren!”  Lauren heard in the background of the call, her chuckle growing into a loud laugh. “Give Em my love. And send me photos when the little one comes”.

Bella laughed. “I will. I’m sorry again babe. Will you head out still? You should still go, go out and pick up some lucky guy”

Lauren laughed again. “Ha! I don’t know about lucky” she said, watching as the rain got heavier.

Looking out across the street, she could see a mist rising from the road where the rain was falling against the heated asphalt.

“It’s just started raining. Pouring more like. So we’ll see”.

Bella protested and insisted she go out still, Lauren shaking her head as she listened to her bubbly office mate. Her words were interrupted by another loud, pained groan from Em, and Lauren smiled.

“Bell, you go okay? I’m good. Give Em a kiss for me. I’ll see you Monday okay?”.

Bella finally gave in and said her goodbyes, offering her words of wisdom of ‘use protection!’ before Lauren laughed and returned her goodbye. She smiled and hung up the phone, dropping her cell back in her bag and looking out through the pouring rain.

She deliberated for a long moment, torn between a bottle of wine and a netflix binge at home and a cocktail out at a bar, eventually deciding that her outfit was not worth wasting and she was old enough to go out for a solo drink. She’d been working hard at her new job - kicking ass more like it, and she decided that she absolutely deserved a strong drink at a sultry New Orleans bar.

Lauren turned to look at herself in the shop’s reflection one last time. She was wearing a pair of white dress shorts that made her legs look long and toned, and a black silky camisole that teased just a hint of cleavage. On her feet were her favourite black strappy heels and her lips were painted a deep, vivid red. She grinned at herself. Definitely not worth wasting.

Lauren looked out at the rain covered street, looking back and forth and searching for a cab. Spying one coming down the road, she lifted her purse over her head to shield her hair from the downpour, dashing out to brave the rain and flag down the incoming cab.

The rain pelted her bare arms and sent a chill through her body despite the heat still in the air, Lauren watching as the cab signalled to the right and pulled over in the street. She dashed towards it as it came to a stop, feeling the rain on her skin as she made it across to the yellow taxi.

She reached for the back door handle and yanked it open, sliding into the cab and pulling the door closed with a slam behind her. She planned to lean back in the seat and give herself a moment’s reprieve from her dash in the rain, but her plans were immediately interrupted by the sound of the cab’s other back door slamming shut.

Lauren whipped around to find someone else in the cab with her - someone else, currently sitting less than a foot from her on the same seat.

“Oh. Hey there sugar” the stranger drawled, his deep Southern accent making her smile reflexively. 

She still hadn’t gotten quite used to the local accent - or being called ‘sugar’ or ‘sweetie’ everywhere she went.

“Sorry I didn’t see ya there. Too caught up in tryina’ get outta the storm” he continued, shifting in his seat and looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a half smile.

Lauren felt her stomach flutter, momentarily taken aback by the sight. Wow.

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t see you either” Lauren replied, unable to help the flirtatious lilt that was suddenly audible in her voice, “The rain’s pretty mad out there”.

The stranger grinned, the sight making Lauren’s insides squeeze, her eyes taking in his smooth, dark skin that contrasted perfectly against the white shirt he was wearing. His shirt was slightly damp - wet from the rain he’d just run through, parts slightly see through and teasing a hint of thick, muscled shoulders underneath. Mmm.

“Where we goin’ to guys? Two drop offs?”

The cab driver’s voice broke through Lauren’s internal thoughts, her and the stranger both turning to face the driver and then each other.

“You happy to share then sweetheart?” the stranger asked, looking over at her with another devastatingly handsome half smile, “Where you headed?”.

Lauren nodded, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair. “Where are you headed?”

He chuckled - a deep throaty sound that Lauren wanted to hear again immediately. 

“I asked you first sugar”.

This time, Lauren chuckled. “Vue Bar. Rooftop”.

The stranger raised an eyebrow, his white teeth flashing in a grin. Lauren noted for the first time a small gap between his two front teeth.

“Hot date?”

Lauren returned his raised eyebrow, her red lips parting in a grin. She racked her brain for a witty remark to throw back at him, her eyes flickering to his full lips and well groomed facial hair. For a second she thought he looked somehow familiar, like she’d seen him somehow, somewhere before.

“That depends”

He chuckled again, the sound making Lauren’s stomach squeeze.

“On?”

“There being any good looking guys at the bar” Lauren replied flirtatiously, lips still grinning. “What about you? Where are you off to?”

He grinned. “Well, I was gonna say the Whiskey Blues club but now I guess I’m goin’ to Vue Bar”.

Lauren laughed, glancing out of the taxi window before looking back at him. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite pick, a familiarity about him that she just couldn’t place.

“I was actually supposed to meet a girlfriend there. But she bailed on me last minute”.

The stranger raised his eyebrows - both this time. “So you got stood up?”.

Lauren laughed. “I wouldn’t exactly call it that”.

The stranger looked at her for a moment - a long moment, and she felt her cheeks flush as his deep brown eyes took her in. She felt his eyes dip briefly to her chest and then along her legs, his eyes lifting back up to meet hers. She took the opportunity to look over him properly, her eyes following his lips, his jaw, the smooth curve of his neck. The lights from the street-lining shops reflected off his rich, brown skin and suddenly all Lauren wanted to do was see him without his shirt. 

She let out a silent breath, torn between trying to figure out why he looked so familiar to her and feeling herself inwardly swoon at the gorgeous man in front of her.

“I’m Anthony” he said after a moment, extending a hand out to her for her to shake.

In that split second, Lauren realised where she’d seen him before.

Her eyes widened. “---Are you?”.

Lauren watched as he smiled almost sheepishly, and she knew the answer to her question without even hearing him say his answer.

She felt her heart suddenly race in the way that it only did when she was nervous, reaching out to shake his hand and feeling her breath hitch when his warm hand enveloped hers. She couldn’t believe it. By some random twist of fate, she’d found herself in a cab with a stranger - a stranger, who was none other than Anthony Mackie. Marvel heartthrob, the Falcon himself.

“Lauren” she replied softly, feeling her chest flush with heat.

“Lauren” he repeated, as if he was trying the word out on his lips. “Are you new around here? You don’t sound like you’re local”.

Lauren smiled, eyes dipping before she looked back up at him through her lashes. 

“Was it that obvious?” she replied with a laugh, reaching up to push her hair over her shoulder, “New job brought me down here two months ago. Tonight was actually supposed to be my first night out on the town since being here”.

Anthony scoffed, shaking his head. “Well we gotta do something about that then. If it’s your first night out in NOLA we gotta make sure you do it right”.

“And what do you suggest?”

Anthony grinned, Lauren’s stomach flipping at the sight. “How ‘bout lettin’ a local show you ‘round?”.

Lauren didn’t answer for a moment, biting down on her bottom lip as she looked back at Anthony. She had a choice - head to Vue Bar like she had originally planned with Bella, or let a stranger - a devastatingly handsome stranger who also happened to be a Hollywood celebrity, show her around. Lauren smiled, her red lips parting. The decision was pretty obvious. 

“You guys can keep chattin’ but just so ya know the meters runnin’”.

Lauren glanced at the cab driver through the rear view mirror before looking back at Anthony. She felt her cheeks flush when she found he was already looking at her, his deep brown eyes feeling like they could see right through her.

“So, how ‘bout it girl? You up for a real night out on the town?”.

Lauren swallowed thickly, feeling a warmth bloom in her chest. She likened it to the first sip of whiskey - the way it floods through your chest, almost feeling it flow through your bloodstream. She let out a breath and grinned, tilting her head as she looked back at Anthony.

“Let’s do it”.

Anthony’s grin grew even wider and she watched as he turned to the cab driver and gave him an address of a place she’d never heard of. He leaned back in his seat and widened his legs, Lauren’s gaze flickering down to his legs. Even through his pants she could tell his thighs were thick and muscled, the idea making her thoughts take a less than PG rated turn.

Lauren relaxed back into the seat as she felt the cab pull away from the curb, glancing out through the window and watching the rain fall on the brightly lit street. She felt a shiver run down her spine at the anticipation of all, wondering where on earth she’d just agreed to let a gorgeous stranger take her, and, more importantly, what was in store for her for her first night out in NOLA.

---

Lauren’s whole body felt warm as she swallowed the last sip of her whiskey cocktail, feeling the liquid actually slide down her throat. She suddenly wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the close proximity of Anthony sitting beside her that had her feeling hot. She was acutely aware of his thigh pressed up against hers, and the cool leather of the booth seat underneath her legs.

She looked around the crowded club, eyes taking in the booths, the bar and the growing dance floor, glancing up at the band that was playing on the stage. A heavy blues song was echoing throughout the room, the beat loud in her ears as she sat. It was dark and moody but still somehow smooth and lively. Lauren was in love. This place, was incredible.

A waiter arriving at their booth with another round of drinks shook Lauren from her thoughts, bringing her back to the present. The present being, that she was at a blues club, in a booth, sharing cocktails with Anthony Mackie.

So far she’d learnt that he was a born and bred NOLA native, went to Julliard to study acting and had planned to work as an engineer before he’d fallen in love with acting. She, in turn, had told him about her new job and how she’d moved all the way from New York to New Orleans, her older sister Steph and her kids, and how she was a huge Giants fan. 

Lauren watched as Anthony nodded his thanks at the waiter, before reaching for his whiskey and turning to her beside him. She noted for the third time that evening the rich, deep brown of his eyes, feeling her cheeks flush from the way he was looking at her.

“So Lauren” Anthony said, the deep timbre of his voice sending a shiver down her spine, “Tell me somethin’ about yourself that most people wouldn’t know”.

Lauren raised one curious eyebrow, a small smile tugging at her lips as she looked back at him. She could smell his cologne in her nose, a subtly sweet, heady scent that made her think of warm vanilla mixed with leather and an earthy wood.

She tapped her manicured fingernails against her glass, searching her brain for something to say. She twirled her straw through her drink, finally coming up with an answer.

Lauren tilted her head. “I did gymnastics when I was younger, until I was about sixteen. I actually made it all the way to state level before I decided I was done with leotards”.

Anthony chuckled, taking a sip of his drink before looking down at her with a knowing grin. 

“I could see that. Bet a leotard would still look good on you too, sugar”.

Lauren laughed out loud this time, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder that made his grin grow even wider. He winked at her mischievously and Lauren felt her deep muscles clench deliciously. Oh.

She leaned back in the booth seat, Anthony’s clothed leg still pressed against her bare thigh, looking back at him with a flirtatious smile.

“And what about you huh? Tell me something about you that most people wouldn’t know” Lauren asked, tilting her head as she looked at him. “Do you even have anything left that people wouldn’t know? You must get grilled at every interview”.

Anthony chuckled, that deep, throaty chuckle that Lauren had suddenly decided was one of her new favourite sounds. 

“It does feel like that sometimes. But I’ve managed to keep my shit private over the years. Somehow”

Lauren nodded, unable to even imagine what it would be like to be in the public eye as much as he was.

Anthony stretched out his arm along the back of the booth, his arm brushing Lauren’s back as he did so. She felt the shiver again, deeper this time, and all of a sudden she found herself wondering when was the last time she’d felt like this with a guy.

“But somethin’ people don’t always know about me. Huh” Anthony said, pausing for a moment as he mulled over his thoughts before looking up at Lauren, “I’ve got kids. Four of em’ actually. All boys”.

Lauren’s eyes widened in surprise. She had no idea. She listened to Anthony tell her a little about his boys, their names and how old they each were, Lauren suddenly feeling her deep muscles squeeze as she imagined Anthony with his sons. What was it about guys with kids?

The music wound down as the band finished their song, Anthony looking over towards the stage as the lead singer announced that they were about to slow it down. Lauren followed his eyeline to the stage and watched as they began to play their next song, listening as a sultry, slow beat began to play throughout the room.

“Feel like joinin' me for a dance?” Anthony nearly whispered, pulling Lauren’s attention back to him to find that he’d leaned in closer to her. 

His cologne clouded her and all of a sudden she felt like she couldn’t think straight. 

“You can’t come to a NOLA blues club and not dance sugar”.

Lauren grinned, looking down at her lap and back up at Anthony through her lashes. She knew that after two and half whiskey cocktails, a dance to the slow, sexy blues beat while pressed up against Anthony would send her reeling. Looking back at him though, with his deep gaze nearly boring into her, she wondered if maybe he knew that too.

Anthony returned her grin - that gorgeous, devastatingly sexy grin that made Lauren’s breath catch in her throat.

“C’mon, girl” Anthony encouraged, leaning in and reaching for her hand. 

His hand was warm as it closed around hers, Lauren swearing in that moment that she could feel a spark in her fingertips as he touched her.

She let him lead her onto the dancefloor, her hand clasped firmly in his, Anthony nodding at a few people as they moved throughout the crowd. When he found an opening on the floor, he pulled her in close to him, one of his hands snaking around her waist as the other lifted her hand to the side. All of a sudden they were dancing, two bodies swaying together to the slow, sultry beat of the blues music.

In an instant Lauren felt like she was drunk off of Anthony. She could smell him, his scent enveloping her, his hand on her back feeling like it was burning through her silky camisole. She couldn’t hear anything over the loud, slow pulse of the music, and even that was nothing compared to the sound of her heart beat in her ears.

She looked down briefly, breathing in deeply and inhaling Anthony’s cologne. When she looked back up she found he was already looking down at her, his eyes on her intently, almost drinking her in. Lauren swallowed thickly, finding herself suddenly getting lost in his heavy gaze. She could feel her brain getting fuzzy, and she knew at that moment that it had absolutely nothing to do with alcohol.

“You good, sugar?”

Lauren felt a shiver run down her spine at the sound of his voice in her ear. Deep, slow and sexual, she felt her muscles squeeze in the most exquisite way. Oh, fuck.

She nodded, unable to form a proper answer with her words, her breath catching when she felt Anthony spin her. Suddenly her back was pressed against his chest, her skin heating despite the layer of his shirt between them. She swayed her hips along to the sensual beat, feeling everything as he slid his hands down her slides and came to rest on her waist, his own hips moving in sync with hers.

All of a sudden she felt like she was alone with Anthony, completely oblivious to the crowd of others dancing around her. Despite the hundreds of other people in the room, she felt like it was just the two of them, every single one of her senses clouded by him. She knew at that moment that there was only one way this night was ending, and it involved her, Anthony, and not much else. When she felt him brushing her hair over her shoulder and his full lips press against her neck a second later, she knew with absolute certainty, that his thoughts exactly mirrored her own.

Lauren allowed herself a second to revel in the feeling of his lips on her skin, closing her eyes and leaning back into Anthony and suddenly wondering what they’d feel like against the rest of her.

When she heard his words whisper in her ear a moment later though, she knew she wouldn’t have to wonder for much longer.

“You wanna get outta here, baby?”

---

Lauren felt like her entire body was burning when she stepped inside Anthony’s house, every single one of her nerves on edge after the cab ride home from the club. They’d left almost as soon as he’d asked her if she’d wanted to go home with him, the rain still pouring down when they’d exited the club and hailed down a taxi.

Anthony’s hand had found her thigh when they’d gotten into the car, the foreign contact feeling like it was burning into Lauren’s skin in the most delicious way. It was like fifteen minutes of intense foreplay - despite the fact that they hadn’t even kissed yet, Anthony’s fingers oh-so-torturously, slowly rubbing gentle circles into her over sensitised thigh. 

She felt like she was going to explode when the cab finally did come to a halt, her breathing ragged and her legs threatening to give way when she’d gotten out of the car. She’d practically run to the front door with Anthony in tow, unsure if it was because she’d wanted to get out of the rain or just get him inside as quickly as possible.

Lauren put down her bag and ran her fingers through her slightly damp hair, hoping her lipstick still looked okay as she let out a breath in an effort to steady her racing heart. She took a moment to look around Anthony’s house, admiring the dark, modern industrial style and enormous floor to ceiling glass french doors that lined that back edge of the house. Even through the pouring rain Lauren could see the gorgeous view, the lights of the city glowing on the horizon and contrasting perfectly against the pitch black night sky. 

Looking around she spied a photo frame sitting on a trendy looking black bookcase, stepping forward for a closer look to find that it was a picture of a grinning Anthony - and his four adorable sons. Seeing them all together, it was easy to see where they each got their looks from.

“Drink?”

Lauren turned to find Anthony holding up a bottle of bourbon and two glasses, a flirty smile on his full lips as he looked at her across the room. 

Lauren grinned and ran her fingers through her hair again, acutely aware of her body still feeling like it was completely on edge and flooded with a growing heat. The muscles deep in her belly squeezed as she looked over at him, and it took everything she had not to run across the room and jump him right there and then in the kitchen.

“Sure”

Anthony winked at her, the action sending a fresh wave of want coursing through her bones, Lauren watching as he expertly poured two glasses of the amber liquid. She turned back to the window, watching the rain spatter against the glass, listening to the low hum of the storm outside and trying to drown out the sound of her thumping pulse in her ears. She couldn’t tell if it was nerves, the fact that she was so turned on or a combination of both that had her feeling so on edge.

A soft bluesey song with a slow, sensual beat suddenly began to play from somewhere in the room, Lauren looking over her shoulder to find Anthony walking towards her, the two glasses in his hands. She felt his heated gaze on her as he approached, feeling her skin flush as his brown eyes trailed up her body before finally coming to rest on her face.

He held out the glass and she took it silently, reaching up to tuck one side of her hair behind her ear as she felt his eyes look from her mouth to her eyes and back again. She watched as the corner of his lips tugged into a teasing half smile, Lauren pressing her legs together reflexively at the sight. Oh.

“What should we cheers to?” she asked, her voice soft and seductive as she looked back at him with wide doe eyes.

Anthony chuckled, deep and rumbling, the sound echoing off the empty room. 

“How about, to meetin’ gorgeous strangers in cabs?”.

Lauren grinned, flashing her teeth. She couldn’t agree more. She clinked her glass against Anthony’s and took a long, slow sip, holding his gaze as she did so. She felt the bourbon warm her throat as she swallowed, the sweet burn slowly spreading through her chest and blanketing her whole body in a sense of calm. Lauren exhaled slowly, watching Anthony look back at her, tapping her fingernails against the glass and turning back to the window.

She heard him move behind her and suddenly she knew what was coming without even looking, the feeling in the air thick and charged, the tension almost palpable. She felt her hair being moved, brushed over her shoulder to expose one side of her neck, Anthony’s heady cologne filling her nose as she felt his lips brush over her neck like they had at the club. She exhaled deeply as he moved along the curve of her skin, trailing slowly, torturously along her sensitised flesh until she had no choice but to lean back into him for support for fear that her legs would give way.

Lauren didn’t know how, but in one quick moment, Anthony had found her most stimulating spot.

It was all so erotic, the sound of his breath in her ear, the feel of his plush lips against her skin - it was like direct hotline to her groin. She could see their reflection in the glass in front of her, the sensual sight turning her on even more, Anthony’s hands slowly traveling down her sides before coming to rest low on her hips. 

His hot breath on her neck had her insides feeling like melted chocolate, a sigh escaping her lips when she felt him press a slow, wet kiss to the skin just below her ear.

“Oh, fuck”

Lauren felt him grin against her skin, his hands holding her hips tight against his, and it was then that she pulled herself from her own clouded arousal just enough to feel his own pressing into her from behind. She moaned.

“Damn, baby girl” Anthony whispered, his deep voice low in her ear and making her all but tremble beneath his touch.

He was only kissing her neck and Lauren was already feeling like she was going to pass out from the bliss. She had no idea how she was going to manage when his lips found their way to the rest of her. A breathy moan escaped her throat at the thought. Oh, fuck.

Before she could lose herself completely though, Lauren felt herself being turned around until she was face to face with Anthony, her glass gently taken from her hand. She looked back at him, his gaze deep and heated, his brown eyes flickering to her lips and back again. There was a brief pause, a moment's hesitation - a silent question that Lauren answered without words, and all of a sudden his lips were on hers.

It was slow at first, Anthony’s full lips moving gently against hers, but it didn’t take long for the pace to quicken and the intensity to deepen. Within minutes it became heated, tongues dancing and mouths exploring one another’s, his hands simultaneously gripping at her head and hip while Lauren’s arms wrapped around his neck. His kiss was passionate and hungry, and she could taste the bourbon on his tongue - strong, sweet and intoxicating like him, her whole body feeling like it was humming. It made her feel utterly breathless, her lungs nearly bursting from her chest, until she had no choice but to break away from him, suddenly desperate for oxygen. 

Anthony didn’t miss a beat though - taking advantage of the break to get back at her neck, his pillowy lips kissing and sucking, leaving marks that Lauren was sure she’d be able to see in the morning. She couldn’t bring herself to care though, too far gone by the feeling of Anthony’s lips against her throat, dropping her head back and closing her eyes when she felt his mouth reach the dip of her cleavage.

Lauren readied herself for the feeling of his mouth on her breasts - waiting with baited breath for something that didn’t come. Instead she felt herself being pushed until her back was against the window, a gasp falling from her when the cool glass touched her heated skin. Her eyes flashed open and her hands found Anthony’s collar, the action eliciting a groan from him and sending a fresh wave of want flooding through Lauren. All of a sudden she felt like her fingers were working of their own accord, reaching for his buttons as he bent in to kiss her again, hot, wet and heavy.

Even though she felt like she was drunk - drunk from arousal, from Anthony’s scent, from his hungry kiss, Lauren still managed to make quick work of his shirt, and all at once it was discarded on the ground. She felt like she was going to explode upon seeing his bare torso, her eyes drinking him in hungrily. His muscled, pillow-like chest, his thick shoulders and arms, his smooth brown skin that seemed to be glowing in the moonlight’s reflection through the window. All of a sudden, Lauren couldn’t help the noise that fell from her lips.

The sound earned her a chuckle from Anthony, the deep, rumbling sound making her muscles clench in that oh-so-delectable way, his lips pressing harder to hers as his hands found the seam of her silky cami. She was too caught up in his kiss to realise that she’d actually lifted her arms to help him rid her of her top, barely even registering when he’d unsnapped her bra and pulled it from her a moment later. 

His lips pulled away and Lauren was left panting, a shiver running down her spine as the cool of the glass pressed along the length of her entire back. It was then that she became properly aware that she was now naked on top, her eyes looking forward to find Anthony staring back at her bare flesh hungrily.

“Mmm. Damn sugar” he breathed, the rich timbre of his voice like velvet in Lauren’s ears, “Look at you baby girl”.

She didn’t have time to process what he’d said to her, his mouth suddenly back on her and pressing her against the glass quicker than she could say his name. 

Lauren was in heaven. She was sure of it. Or at least, as close to heaven as her brain could currently imagine. Anthony’s mouth felt like sweet magic against her breasts, the way he tongued and sucked her supple, smooth skin, like he was worshipping them to no end. When he reached up and added his hands to the mix she was sure she was going to come right there and then, feeling nothing but absolute pleasure as he cupped and squeezed, kissed and mouthed at her. She didn’t think she could possibly feel any more aroused than she did at that present moment, that was, until, she felt his lips close around her nipple and his teeth graze the sensitive flesh.

“Oh fuck Anthony”

“Yeah girl, you like that?” Anthony asked when he took a brief pause from lavishing her flesh, his hands cupping them together in front of his face, “You like it when I do that baby?”

Lauren didn’t have the strength or brain power to answer him, only nodding furiously as her head pressed back against the glass. She heard him chuckle low against her chest, her hands gripping at his neck, grabbing at the smooth, thick muscle, feeling his hands release her breasts and reaching around to cup her ass. The action made him growl - the sound deep and primal and sending shockwaves through Lauren’s body, Lauren forcing herself through her arousal-fuzzed brain just enough to realise she was being lifted from the ground.

Her thighs instinctively wrapped around Anthony’s waist, the thick muscle there evident to her even against her legs, Lauren only just aware that she was being carried through the house. She tried to take in her surroundings as Anthony held her but failed very quickly, her eyes closing and her head dropping back when his mouth found her nipples once again. She moaned out loud, feeling herself losing to the bliss that seemed to be taking over her whole body, her hands gripping onto Anthony with everything she could muster.

When she did finally open her eyes she realised that he’d brought them to his bedroom, her eyes taking in the sleek, dark furnishings, before she felt herself being pressed against a wall and lowered. Her feet found the floor as Anthony kissed and mouthed at her torso, his wet, sensual kisses getting lower until he was at the waistband of her shorts.

Lauren knew what was coming, the anticipation humming through her body like an electrical current, a warm, wet flooding through her belly. A breathy sound fell from her lips - an almost pained whimper mixed with a moan, Anthony chuckling low in response and making her legs quiver.

“Just relax, sugar” he breathed, looking up at her from where he was crouched between her thighs, a playful smile tugging at his lips, “I got you”.

Lauren let his words wash over her, like warm, liquid honey, closing her eyes and dropping her head back against the wall as she felt his hands make quick work of her shorts. She felt them slide down her legs a moment later leaving her in just her underwear, Lauren forcing her eyes to open and look down at the gorgeous man in front of her.

“Damn, girl” Anthony nearly hissed, his fingers caressing her soft thighs as his eyes ran over her exposed flesh.

The look in Anthony’s eyes made Lauren whimper again, suddenly unable to recall the last time she’d been so turned on. She wanted desperately for him to touch her, to kiss her, to have his mouth on the area she was all but begging him for, the anticipation burning through her and pooling between her thighs almost painfully.

His fingers teased at the band of her panties while Lauren watched his face, his thick lips parted and his mouth almost slack as he breathed heavily, eyes dragging over her near naked form. Lauren knew in that moment that he was just as turned on as she was, a quick glance down at his crotch quickly confirming her thoughts. She groaned silently. Oh baby.

Lauren bit her lip, nearly squirming against the wall with impatience, her hands reaching out to grab at Anthony’s shoulders below her. He grinned up at her at the contact, a devilish smile on his face that made Lauren’s knees weak, his brown eyes boring into hers.

With one swift pull of his fingers Lauren felt her panties being tugged aside, Anthony’s eyes still holding hers as he quickly shimmied them down her legs. Lauren suddenly felt like she was on the verge of exploding - both from his eye contact and the feeling of want between her legs. She moaned again, positive she would die if she didn’t feel him on her right there and then.

Anthony’s eyes left hers and Lauren’s heart raced, bracing herself for the inevitable as she felt him part her legs and lean in close to her thighs. A long, slow swipe of his tongue, a near pained whimper from her and a starved groan from him, and all of a sudden Lauren was seeing stars. 

Blissful warmth flooded through her as Anthony worked her over with his tongue, his hands holding her legs spread as she held his shoulders for support. Lauren couldn’t think she could only feel, torn between watching him between her legs and keeping her eyes shut as she reveled in the pleasure flooding through her. She moaned out loud when he started to devour her, his mouth open and almost completely covering her, kissing her slick folds the way he would her mouth. 

All manner of sounds started to fall from Lauren and she no longer had any control over what she was saying, too caught up in Anthony’s mouth and the way his tongue teased moans and whimpers from her in the most erotic way. She knew it wouldn’t take much more for her to come, minutes, maybe seconds, feeling herself getting closer and closer to the edge the more he worked her with his mouth.

Just when she could feel herself slipping, toes on the edge, oh-so-ready to jump off the cliff, she felt Anthony’s hands at her thighs lifting each one over his shoulders. Before her bliss clouded brain could comprehend what he was doing, Lauren felt herself being lifted up, suddenly registering that she was being held six feet in the air with her thighs wrapped around Anthony Mackie’s face. She grabbed at his shoulders and squeezed her legs tighter to stop herself from falling, Anthony’s hands gripping her ass and holding her flush against his mouth as he ate at  her like a man starved.

In that moment Lauren knew she was all but done for. 

“Oh fuck Anthony baby” Lauren cried out, one of her hands grabbing at his thick neck as her head dropped back in ecstasy, “Just, like, that, oh yes!!”.

Her words only encouraged him and Lauren felt his hands grip harder, his tongue flicking against her clit and sending electric sparks through her entire body. All of a sudden she was being lowered and a second later her back was flat against the silky sheets, Anthony manoeuvring himself over her and caging her legs open with his arms as he brought her to her crescendo. 

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!

The feel of his mouth, hot, wet and working her like it was the last meal he’d ever eat was like a rope, tying around Lauren, tightening around her waist and all of a sudden dragging her off the edge. She came hard, an earth shattering quake, a tidal wave crashing down, her entire body spasming under his touch and she writhed on the bed beneath him. Her chest heaved and her heart raced, a long moment of nothing filling her brain as she felt the bliss wash through her, her breathing ragged as she softly, slowly came down from her high.  

Lauren’s eyes fluttered open, her lips tugging into a soft smile, somehow finding the strength to lift her head to find Anthony grinning up at her between her thighs. Lauren felt her muscles clench exquisitely at the sight. Oh baby.

“Mmm. Yeah baby” Anthony breathed almost appreciatively, his eyes running down her body that was now covered by a thin sheen of sweat, “Damn that was sexy”.

Lauren’s smile stretched into a grin, still unable to answer, her chest still rising and falling as she dropped her head back onto the mattress. 

“You good sugar?”

Lauren laughed softly. “Mmm, you’re good, Anthony”

Anthony’s low chuckle filled her ears and Lauren smiled again, her body twitching when she felt his hands trail up her still parted thighs.

Anthony grinned.

“If you think that was good baby girl, you gonna lose your mind with what I’m gonna do to you next”

---

Lauren stirred as she felt the fog of sleep slip away, her eyes slowly fluttering open and blinking as she took in unfamiliar surroundings. She frowned, momentarily confused, all of a sudden remembering where she was as the events of the previous night came flooding back. Mmm.

She took in a deep breath and shifted slightly, feeling silky sheets against her skin and a warmth somewhere behind her. A quick mental check made her realise that she was completely naked, and a small stretch of her legs found a pleasant ache in muscles that she knew was only ever brought on by one thing.

Lauren felt her muscles squeeze as her memories replayed in her head, unable to remember the last time she’d had sex like that - or the last time she’d come as many times as she had. Anthony. She couldn’t quite believe she’d actually managed to run into and go home with him, but oh fuck was she glad she had.

Anthony. 

It made her head spin just to think about what he’d done to her last night, how he’d he so expertly, effortlessly, tongued her, fingered her and finally fucked her to multiple orgasms. Even the way they’d fucked so many times, round after round, even when Lauren was sure she was finished, positive she had nothing left in her, but still he’d teased another from her before he was ready to go again. 

Her on her back with her legs opened wide, his hands on her thighs spreading them further with every thrust so he could push into her even deeper. Her on top of him, straddling his thick thighs, his hands on her hips guiding her as she bounced on him, up and down and down and up, each time taking more and more of him until she'd bottomed out on his full length. Her bent over on all fours in front of him, her ass high in the air as he fucked her from behind, skin slapping skin as he pounded into her over and over, and over again.

Lauren felt her muscles clench as the scenes replayed in her head. Anthony naked was a sight she wouldn’t be forgetting any time soon, a glorious, fucking sensual sight if ever she’d seen one. It made her dizzy to think about how big he was, the way she’d felt her entire body squeeze deliciously when she’d seen him completely naked in front of her. Anthony was thick - thick in every sense of the word, his chest, his thighs, his shoulders, his cock. The near painful burn when he’d first pushed into her, the exquisite feeling of him stretching her out and filling her up unlike any she’d ever felt before.

Then there was his voice, deep, low and sexual, his Southern drawl like smooth honey in Lauren’s ears. The way he’d encouraged her, praised her, urging her to keep going, telling her how fucking good she felt wrapped around him, to come for him because he knew she had one more in her. 

“Damn baby, you gonna come for me?”

“C’mon baby girl, let me see you come”

“That’s it sugar, give me one more, I know you got one more in you baby”

A soft snore behind her snapped her from her memories, and she turned to look over her shoulder to find Anthony sleeping soundly behind her. She smiled at the sight, thinking for the thousandth time since she first saw him the night before how gorgeous she thought he was, taking in his full, parted lips and thick dark lashes fanned across his smooth brown cheeks. 

She fought the urge to roll over and snuggle into him, but the realist in her stopped her. She knew what this was and she didn’t want to sugar coat it to herself - she’d gone out to pick up a guy and she’d done just that. It was a one night stand, and a fucking great one at that, but she knew that’s where it ended for them. After all he was a celebrity and she well, wasn’t. It would never work. And she didn’t want to stick around for the awkward conversation that inevitably followed.

Lauren sat up slowly being careful not to disturb him, looking around the expansive, dark bedroom in an attempt to find her clothes. She bit her lip at the sight of the many discarded condom foils around the room, eventually locating her shorts near the wall and her panties bundled up a few feet away from them. She looked around for her top before realising that Anthony had taken it off in the other room, taking one last mental picture of him beside her before slipping carefully out of bed.

Lauren glanced back at a dozing Anthony, satisfied that he hadn’t noticed her exit, tip-toeing around the bedroom and retrieving her discarded underwear and shorts. She froze when she heard him shift in bed, a loud, slow breath sounding from him, stillness immediately following as he resumed his steady, peaceful breathing.

She shimmied on her panties as silently as she could, wondering what the time was and if she’d be able to get a cab from wherever she was as she made her way down the hallway. She passed a mirror and paused briefly to inspect the morning damage, pleasantly surprised that she somehow wasn’t covered in smudged lipstick as she smoothed down her hair and ran her fingers under her eyes.

Lauren squinted when she made it into the front room, her eyes adjusting to the morning light streaming in through the enormous french doors. It was still raining outside, the storm hadn’t quite yet passed, the sky dark, dreary and grey as the falling rain hummed against the glass.

She spied her top and bra on the floor, Anthony’s shirt discarded haphazardly nearby, her naked skin pebbling with goosebumps as she stepped out into the expansive room. She crept over to pick up her bra, slipping the straps over her shoulders and fastening the clasp behind her, her eyes noting the smudge of handprints on the glass door in front of her. She smiled to herself, stomach squeezing, suddenly swearing she could feel the ghost of Anthony's lips on her neck as last night's amorous activities in that very spot began to replay through her head.

Lauren shivered, the feeling running down her spine, knowing it had absolutely nothing to do with the cold in the room as she picked up her top and searched the room for her bag. She knew she’d probably have a million calls from Bella on her phone checking in on how she went last night, and hopefully news of the baby too. Lauren chuckled silently to herself, knowing Bella was going to lose her mind when she told her who she’d gone home with last night, spying her bag on the kitchen bench and making her way over.

“Mmm. Damn girl, you a fine sight in the morning”

Lauren jumped, the deep morning voice startling her, stopping in her tracks and looking over her shoulder to find Anthony looking nothing short of delicious as he stood in the hallway looking back at her. He was shirtless, his smooth brown skin and thick muscles making Lauren groan silently, a pair of pale grey sweatpants slung low on hips and doing absolutely nothing to hide the significant bulge between his thighs. Lauren swallowed thickly, steeling herself, acutely aware she was still only in her bra and panties.

“Good morning” she answered softly, turning around to face him properly and hoping her morning face still looked half decent.

“Leavin’ so soon sugar?” Anthony replied, eyes trailing up and down her body appreciatively, Lauren not missing the way his tongue darted out to quickly wet his lips.

Mmm. Those lips. Those lips that had trailed every single available inch of her skin last night and felt like velvet heaven against her.

Lauren bit her lip at the thought, reaching back for her bag to dismiss her imagination before looking back at Anthony. 

“Yeah uh, I’m sorry it’s so early but I’ve got some things I gotta do today” she near stuttered, wondering if her words were convincing enough to hide the true reason as to why she’d actually tried to leave without waking him. 

Anthony raised an eyebrow, tilting his head curiously. 

“Do you actually or you just tryin’a avoid the awkward walk out?”

Lauren swallowed. Busted.

She looked down at the floor and chewed on her bottom lip to avoid her growing grin at the fact that he’d just seen straight through her, looking back up at Anthony to find him looking back at her, an amused smile etched on his gorgeous face.

She threw her hands up in defeat, unable to help the small laugh that fell from her.

“Okay you got me. Turns out I didn’t actually avoid it though hey?”

Anthony chuckled and Lauren’s muscles squeezed, that sound making her heart beat faster.

“Well it doesn’t have to be awkward. Or a walk out at all really” Anthony said, eyes on her body once again as he stepped out of the hallway towards her, “I was thinkin’ you should stay for breakfast”.

Lauren laughed, shaking her head. As tempting as his offer was, she knew he was just being nice.

“Look, you don’t have to do this. It’s totally fine, I get it. I know this isn’t more than last night - which was insanely good by the way. You don’t have to pretend with this morning after shit. It’s fine”.

Anthony laughed, now standing two feet in front of her, his deep brown eyes taking in her face.

“Girl, whose pretending? Last night was fuckin’ fantastic, do you really think I want you to leave?” he replied, flashing her a smile that threatened to reduce her to a puddle on the floor of his living room, “After all that? After how damn good that was? Just mmm”. 

The appreciative little groan he gave at the end made Lauren grin reflexively.

“I was hopin’ you’d stay for breakfast, n’ then you know, round two n’ three after that”.

Lauren laughed out loud, tilting her head as she looked back at him with a grin.

“Round two and three? Didn’t we have those last night?”

Anthony grinned gorgeously. “Mmm. Fuck yeah we did” he answered with another low chuckle, the deep sound echoing throughout the room, “Round six n’ seven then?”.

Lauren couldn’t help her laugh. Mind blowing sex aside, she actually had a lot of fun with Anthony. He was smart and funny, making her laugh more than she’d care to admit last night, not to mention classically, smoothly charming and devastatingly sexy. Would it really be so bad to stay?

“C’mon baby girl. Stay” he goaded, stepping closer to her until he was only inches away from her, his voice in her ears like the softest velvet, his scent in her nose utterly intoxicating.

Lauren inhaled deeply, looking back up at him before her, feeling herself get lost in his deep, molasses brown eyes, her muscles clenching in that oh-so-exquisite way. She felt the realist in her slipping, like a sun setting in the distance, and for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to give in, to let herself do what she really wanted to do.

Lauren raised one mischievous eyebrow and flashed a small smile. “What are you offering me exactly?”

Anthony’s lips tugged into a wide grin, his hands taking the clothes and bags from her hands before reaching for her waist and pulling her in until she was flush against him. Her breath caught as he brushed her hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear and bending to press his plush lips against her neck.

Lauren nearly moaned, legs turning to jelly at the contact. Oh baby.

“Well” he breathed, voice slow and deep in her ear and sending erotic shivers down her spine, “There’s pancakes. With syrup. And chocolate” he added slowly, Lauren’s head dropping back as he pressed another kiss to that damned spot underneath her ear.

She squirmed, her heart now racing in her chest, feeling all but drunk from every one of her senses being invaded by Anthony. She felt his hand run down her naked back, coming to rest on her ass and squeezing her flesh greedily. She moaned quietly.

“N’ then there’s the shower. N’ the tub” he breathed, each of his words punctuated by heavy, wet kisses that Lauren swore made her heart skip and her breath catch. “Or both”.

Lauren felt her body start to burn.

When he started whispering all kinds of filth in her ear though, about how he wanted so badly to fuck her in the shower, to see her all soapy above him, to see her bent over with her ass out in front of him, to see her come apart over and over again, Lauren was positive she was going to combust at that very second.

One last wet kiss to her ear and Anthony finally pulled away, looking down at Lauren as she all but trembled in his arms. She was a panting, burning mess,her mind unable to think about anything but him, Anthony’s gaze now dark and heated as his thick arousal pressed into her belly through his shorts. 

Oh fuck yes!

“Whaddya think sugar? How’s that sound?”

Lauren practically moaned, swallowing thickly as she gripped at his thick biceps wrapped around her, heat pooling rapidly between her thighs as she looked back at him. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, and it involved her, Anthony and absolutely nothing else.

Lauren bit her lip, watching Anthony’s eyes flicker from her eyes to her lips and back again, his erection pressing into her and making her entire body blaze.

“I think” she answered softly, her voice barely louder than a whisper between breaths, “Fuck the pancakes. Let’s get started on round six right now”

---

 TAG LIST (I’ve never written an Anthony Mackie fic before so tagging a few people I thought would be interested!)

@whiskey-cokenfanfic @michelehansel @thegetawaywriter @princess-evans-addict @imanuglywombat @cevansfic-recs @ambrosiase​

If anyone would like to be added to an Anthony Mackie tag list (because I WILL be writing more of him!) let me know!