#(i haven't read ahead to be fair to ya'll HOW NICE AM I??)

[rodneymckays]

stargate episodes that should have been, part 50: crossover episode set during “the return”! when the sgc loses contact with sg-1 offworld, they send in sheppard and his team of newbies to investigate because colonel reynolds is offworld. they quickly discover sg-1’s whereabouts in one of ba’al’s prisons by being captured and imprisoned themselves. (“sheppard. what are you doing here?” “rescuing you” cam then looks pointedly at the four jaffa guards escorting them to the cell. “…good job.”) sheppard quickly gets to work befriending vala and it’s a good thing daniel is off being a prior right now because you think vala’s bad without sheppard enabling her? meanwhile back at the sgc: walter walks into landry’s office. “sir. sheppard’s team is two hours overdue.” jack, who is also there for some reason (headed to atlantis maybe? or just worried about sam and teal’c) says “are we sure he didn’t just stop for starbucks on the way home and forget to check in?” but nobody laughs. colonel reynolds still isn’t back yet so landry plans to wait until he is back to mount a rescue of the rescue team but major lorne shows up and is like 🥺 so landry agrees to send in lorne’s (actually competent and not new) team. BUT if they get in trouble. no one’s coming. until colonel reynolds gets back. lorne is like that’s fine but i’m gonna need a few more people. carson, because they might be injured. and mckay, because they might need to crack a lock or whatever. landry begrudgingly agrees to this (after another 🥺 and also the convincing argument that neither of them are busy and mckay is probably annoying the other scientists at area 51) so mckay is beamed in and carson is summoned via the intercom. this leads to a very awkward meeting in the gate room because cadman (my beloved) is on lorne’s team. they all go through the gate. meanwhile, in the cell, sheppard is braiding vala’s hair and realizes that one of her hair pins is very pointy and could totally kill a jaffa if given the opportunity. his team of newbies are sulking in the corner after having been yelled at by sheppard, vala, and cam for being annoying about being locked up in a cell by some jaffa, and sam is fiddling with a panel in the wall. sheppard slips the hair pin into his wristband thingy and Waits. he doesn’t bother to tell anyone his plan, so when a jaffa opens the cell door to grab one of the prisoners and immediately gets stabbed in the neck by a hairpin and goes down, the newbies Freak Out. fortunately sg-1 is less surprised and they take all the weapons the jaffa was carrying. vala retrieves her hair pin and grimaces at the blood on it, then puts it in her hair to hold up her nice braid. back to lorne’s team, who are in the woods. rodney is complaining because he doesn’t like the woods (very fair) but lorne points out that at least there’s no iratus bugs in this galaxy. rodney says that there’s also no ronon or teyla in this galaxy, so they’re at a net disadvantage. lorne’s like “yeah, cause ronon could actually get you to shut up” which gets rodney to stop talking and start making indignant noises, that are cut off by the arrival of a party of jaffa. TO BE CONTINUED…

THE RETURN!! MY BELOVED!!!

YES. sheppard & vala would be fast friends!! they're both quite skilled at shenanigans and pigtail pulling (but i think sheppard would silently be in awe of vala's skill level, leagues above his own). also love how sheppard's rescue attempt goes about as well as it usually does, which is not great 😂

CARSON AND MCKAY JOINING LORNE'S TEAM FOR THE RESCUE!!!! and i don't fault landry, i too would cave after one look at lorne's doe eyes. AND CADMAN!!! ofc she would be on lorne's earthside team, she's the best of the best :'))))) and rodney's still not over body sharing i see hu hu hu

sheppard having totally normal thoughts about pointy objects bAH and sg1 being like 'yup. that's our guy. nothing to see here'.

but rodney missing ronon and teyla and complimenting them in the most backwards i-wont-actually-say-i-like-these-ppl-but-i-like-these-ppl way possible!! and lorne bantering with him in their place :')))))