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patbwaifs · 1 year

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it's tuesday my dudes

i forgot to take my meds last night and this morning, so i had a headache all day, but it went away as soon as I took my meds tonight. hahhh. Just finished working out a bit too.

this is what my desktop pretty much looks like all the time (sans legal documents)

I am so so serious about creating a consistent art style so I can make visual novels. My "main goal" right now is to "rewrite" Detroit via visual novel to practice branching gameplay and also rewrite a few scenes and story lines (like Kara and Alice.) Obviously, to recreate the entire game would be nuts. The main thing is to learn how to make visual novels in general, so I'm gonna start with specific scenes and then kinda go out from there.

I also want to write a fanfiction for D:BH. I started drafting it out. The first time is never perfect but I gotta start somewhere with storytelling, and for now, I'm borrowing these characters...

But my art style is pretty obviously going in a certain direction. Ghost in the shell was one of the first anime movies I ever saw (along with Adolescence of Utena. That was definitely an experience) And while I want each of my portraits to look like they "match" I also need to remember that I can still change and vary things up. That's kinda the main reason Markus and North are not 100% complete. The point wasn't to draw a finished portrait of them but to explore and practice a style. I like to think I'll go back once I gain more skill and draw finished portraits of the main D:BH cast.

One thing I really like about using D:BH to practice my art is that there are a variety of different characters to draw, from race to age and beyond.

This styles similarities to realism do throw me off though. I keep wanting to steer into realistic proportions but since it's not my intention from the outset, things get weird fast. Thankfully, I'm a lot better about starting over, reworking sketches and concepts, than I used to be. Before, I would have been tortured to even think about starting over on Amelia's portrait, but now? I want to make a proper portrait of her, in oil pastel. Not in procreate with my illustration tools. (I haven't shown yall my oil pastel rizz yet, hee hee)

On an unrelated note

I talked a bit with my best friend about my headspace around the Decharts' streams (and positive spaces in general) but i was still in oof ouch head hurty mode so I didn't get much out, but she was like "yeah. positivity vibe exposure therapy." I did catch their stream today but it was right when I had to go to the mechanic/dealership.

and boy, is my car a piece of work. I always done knew it too!!! But I need to be more assertive about taking care of it instead of feeling like my Abba is the only one who can decide when things get replaced and when. But i need new tires last week :/

He's throwing a route tonight too. I hope it's all boring and safe.

Gah, i had something else I wanted to talk about but it's escaped me.

Doing things in general has been easier.

I worry about when school starts. I have this gnawing feeling that I need to take a full course load but I know, consciously, that if I do it will end badly.

Although I'm trying to build better self-care habits over the summer so I don't get completely blindsided again. It's just, when I get drowned in a project, it can be hard to pull myself up and do the things I know help me. Like I can't work on my project as well if I don't take the moment to take my medication. gahhhh. but in each moment is eternity, so why would i take an eternity to do something else?

I guess that's my default way of thinking. Maybe that's why things are so intense so often unless I dislodge my brain from the world.

There's something about the Decharts' streams and other thing similar that makes it hard for me to zone out/dissociate/focus on something else/some variation of that. I can't ignore it. And then it's just sensory overload. I think when i feel emotions it's sensory overload first. and then whatever the emotion is second.

I've been trying to let myself feel things about silly android game. As long as it's not guilt. I am trying not feel guilty for liking this game so much. Like what's the use in feeling weird and bad about listening to the soundtrack. gahh the blood is draining from my fingers again.

Speech therapy today went well too.

goodnight yall.

#journal #art thoughts #the art style gauntlet

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im-in-love-with-pizza-bites · 3 years

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The Babysitter

Single-Dad!Sebastian Stan X Fem!Reader

Summary: After your sister-in-law gets you a babysitting job, you and Sebastian fall in love.

Warnings: mentions death by birth (briefly) and fluff.

A/n: HI!!! Sorry, I accidentally posted the first draft 🤦‍♀️ but this is the exact same thing just not with the ask. I absolutely loved the idea!!!

You parked the car making your way upstairs. Knocking on the door it was answered by a man maybe 3 years older than you at the most. Behind him you could see a little boy hid poking his head around the corner, he couldn't have been older than 7. He had short light brown hair and bright blue eyes, that was obvious he got from his father. You recognized him from your nephew's class.

"Hello you must be y/n! I'm Sebastian, the spy back there is Julian." He said shaking your hand.

"Nice to meet you." You smiled at him before looking back at the boy. "Hi there hunny."

"Hi." Julian waved shyly.

"Come in." Sebastian welcomed. He was going out to meet up with Chris Evans since he was coming in town. So that's where you came in, you were the aunt of one of Julian's friends from school, along with babysitting for a few of his other friends. "Jule, come all the in and introduce yourself." Sebastian urged the young boy.

"Sorry tata." Julian said running over hiding behind him. "I'm Julian!"

"Nice to meet you Julian! I'm y/n." You smiled.

"I'm going to my toys now." He told his dad before running off.

"He's a delight when you get to know him." Sebastian promised. "Let me give you the run down."

———

"And bedtime is 9 no negotiations, he will try." Sebastian finished listing down the rules.

"Got it I think I can handle that. When will you be back?" You asked him.

"Uh probably around 11 or 12... You can sleep on the couch if you'd like, Netflix is signed in as well." He said.

"Okay got it. Go have a good time. I can handle Julian. Go have fun with your friend."

"Yeah uh sorry I don't leave him much. Julian!! Come say bye." He shouted. Soon the ocean eyed kid came walking into the living room.

"Bye daddy!" He hugged his dad.

"Bye buddy. Be good for y/n." Sebastian kissed his son on the top of the head and left.

"Okay. You have an hour till bedtime how about we got you in jammies and we watch a movie?" You asked.

"Yeah!! Can I pick!"

"Of course!" You smiled as you followed him to his room. "Okay pick your jammies."

"These ones!" He pulled out a pair of Captain America and Winter soldier pajamas. "My daddy is this one." He pointed at one of the characters.

"Woah! That's cool! Need any help?"

"No."

———

A tipsy Sebastian came stumbling into the apartment. He tossed his keys in the dish and went to the living room with intent to just crash on the couch. He had forgotten all about you until he saw you asleep with your feet on his coffee table, and Julian sleeping in your lap one of your hands resting gently on his back. Madagascar playing quietly in the background. He smiled, he wasn't sure about leaving Julian with someone other than his mom and step-dad. He's been raising Julian as a single dad since the day Julian was born. His mother passed giving birth. In those seven years, he's never found a woman worthy of him, and definitely not worthy of being his son's mother figure. It could be the lack of trying, or it could be that when he did try the women didn't like sharing his attention with Julian. That's why when he first saw you at his son's school, he didn't walk over.

He thought you were pretty, and wanted to ask you on a date but just couldn't work up the courage. When he did, you were already leaving, with a boy he recognized as his son's best friend. When your sister in law suggested to him you as a babysitter, he took her up on the offer, getting your number from her.

"Oh your back." A quiet voice whispered. He snapped from his thoughts seeing you rubbing your eyes with one hand keeping the other on Julian's back.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Here let me get him." Sebastian stumbled forward still tipsy.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Just go get ready for bed. I'll get him in his bed. And uh could I sleep here tonight on the couch of course. I think I'm to tired to drive." You gently stood before lifting the 7 year old with some struggle.

"Of course." Sebastian yawned before leaving to his bedroom. You smiled going to Julian's room tucking him in before making your way back to the couch and laying down. Sebastian came out a few minutes later but decided not to disturb you once he saw you about to fall asleep.

———

You shuffled away to the sound of sizzling on the stove. Looking around you saw Sebastian cooking while Julian sat on the counter talking to his dad about the night before. You yawned alerting the men of your consciousness.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Sebastian smiled at you.

"Morning!" Julian said happily.

"Morning. What's cooking?" You asked sitting up.

"Eggs! I'm helping!" Julian exclaimed. You chuckled walking over.

"Okay Jule go get dressed I gotta talk to Y/n." Sebastian helped his son off the counter.

"You got it, Tata."

"Why does he call you tata?" You asked curiously.

"We're Romanian." Sebastian explained.

"Nice. What did you need to talk about?"

"First you need paid... And second I was wondering if I could maybe take you out for dinner sometime?" Sebastian asked nervously.

"Sure, I'd like that." You smiled.

"Daddy!!! Can I have a lollipop in my lunch today?" Julian asked running in breaking up the moment.

"Sure." Sebastian smiled.

"We'll set up times later." You whispered.

———

That day was almost 6 years ago now, you're been married for two years. Looking back you knew your sister in law was playing matchmaker for you. Not that you cared, you met your now husband and the father of your kids, Julian and Grace.

"Mom! Can you help me?" The now 13 year old Julian asked holding his tie. "Dad's busy with Gracie.

"Of course Hun come here.

"Thanks mom." Julian smiled.

"Hey dragoste? Where is Gracie's new bow is?" Your husband shouted.

"I left it with her dress." You explained. Your family was off to a premiere for one of Sebastian's movies.

"Oh! Found it!" He shouted.

"Okay here-" You started helping your son with his tie.

Once Sebastian was done dressing the 1 year old he made his way into the living room where you were just finishing tying Julian's tie.

"There you go. Very handsome." You smiled kissing your son on the forehead. Sebastian loved seeing your relationship with his son grow. He didn't expect that dinner those years ago would've led to this but he sure was glad.

"Tata! Whatcha think?" Julian said noticing his dad.

"You look great!"

"We need a photo! Julian hold you sister for one photo." You said. Sebastian laughed passing Gracie to Julian.

"Okay mom."

This was your family. Sebastian was so happy watching all the mornings you dance around with Julian in the kitchen while making breakfast. He hopes that Julian's birth mother would be proud of how far their family has came.

"Well lets go!"

A/n: halfway through writing this I realize... The actor who plays billy maximoff in wandavision is named Julian as well. 🤣

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existslikepristin · 3 years

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Did you quit? We havent seen you post anything for a long time

Hell nah, I haven't quit. I'm just in one of those phases that fanfic writers go through---No, it's not depression this t---No, I'm not writing Omegaverse. Come on, not that kind of phase---which is to say life's just sort of in the way.

I'm actually in a pretty good spot right now. (Read on for optimism, I s'pose.)

Finding an affordable apartment in the right area for work is a pretty high priority right now, and that's not going incredibly well, but I'm not on an insane time crunch.

My job is fairly tiring. Not killer exhausting, but like, it's still a job.

And somewhat recently I was able to get access to my paints and minis again. Just like with writing, I go through phases of painting a bunch and then... not? But I get a lot of joy out of it, and it's really nice to mix things up as far as creative expression goes. Just today I spent a few hours jamming to some post rock while putting a leather-y texture on an ice witch's otherwise perfectly smooth coat, and it's so tiny and subtle that I don't know if my camera can even pick it up (just tried; it did alright), and it feels fucking fantastic.

I have so much shit I want to write that I'm never going to be able to write it all. That can be overwhelming, despite having 100% control over it. Nevermind that I also have too much to paint too but like I said, phases phases phases. Just doing something else is really nice.

Soon enough, I'll get back to writing. Probably even really soon. I want to start this Seulgi story that may be a terrible overcommitment. I want to put out more Bullyrene. I gotta finish this year old Yuqi draft. It's not for lack of interest or ideas that I'm not writing right now. I mean fuck it, I don't even feel like coming up with excuses.

It's just not the write time.

Damn I'm funny

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iwaisuke · 3 years

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confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita fluff

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westywrites · 3 years

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Writing goals for 2022... is it really already 2022?

@erinnharper tagged me in her writing goals, reminding me that I've been working on this post and really should try to get it out during these first few days of January while it's still relevant haha

A quick summary of my goals for this coming year:

write a short play for my university's theatre festival

continue with the next drafts of The Corvine and the first draft of Cypress Ascending

start the first draft of The Corvine book two

edit and ~do things~ with some already written pieces

write some short stories, poetry, etc for fun!

most importantly, be kind to myself

Before I go into more detail on those, let's start by responding to my goals from last January and see how I did in 2021.

Review of 2021:

-SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED!- 2021 writing goal one: do a final round of editing on my play for the 2021 theatre festival before directing it in February

This virtual play went really well! It's even available on YouTube now and forever :)

-ABANDONED - goal two: write & host a virtual murder mystery

Unfortunately, due to the so many other things happening in my life (and everyone else's), I realized pretty quickly this one just wasn't gonna happen. If the stars align again someday, maybe I'll give it another shot, I miss the murder mystery parties I did before.

I had mixed success on my other various goals (write more short stories & flash fiction, use haikus as writing warmup, effectively use my free time to actually write, update and interact here more often). Life loves to throw all it's got at us, huh? Sure makes finding the time to write difficult.

- PLANS CHANGED - Now. The Big Goal from 2021 was to get The Corvine ready and out for beta reading - I kind of succeeded? I changed my plan and decided that instead of doing public beta reading after draft two, I wanted to do a private round of alpha reading with some close friends & fellow writers. So they're finishing up with that as I'm starting to get ready for draft three!

This brings us to this year's goals!

Goal one: write a short play for my university's theatre festival

I have the idea already (playing around with the ideas of deus ex machine/god from the machine and fate). It'll be good fun, just gotta get it written and edited before February.

Goal two: edit and ~do things~ with some already written pieces

I want to edit through the jukebox musical I wrote for funsies and because I really like it, I am considering actually sending it to Cosmo Sheldrake himself and seeing what he thinks of what I did with his songs. Who knows what will come from that lmao.

I'm also looking at editing some of my favourite short stories and maybe submitting to lit mags for publication, so that's something that might happen this year.

The Big Goal(s): continue with the next drafts of The Corvine and the first draft of Cypress Ascending & start the first draft of The Corvine book two

As I mentioned above, I have some alpha readers looking at The Corvine - they all told me they'd be done and fill out the questionnaire I sent them by mid-January. Soon, I'll be working on the third draft (I already have some ideas on how to fix the most pressing issues). Hopefully, after the third draft, I will actually be offering it up to a broader public for beta reading!

In an ideal world, I would also finish the first draft of Cypress Ascending this year, but the BEd program owns my ass, so who knows what will happen.

I'd also like to finish up the outlining and start drafting on the second book of The Corvine (current working title is The Vulpsin, idk if I've mentioned that here)

Otherwise, I also have informal goals to write some more short stories, poetry, etc and post more here for fun!

But, most importantly, my ultimate goal for 2022 is to be kind to myself.

Life is hard. I'm a student in teachers' college. I've got acting projects and other extra-curricular things. I've got a job. I want to read and do other art things. I've got a girlfriend and roommates to make time for. However much writing I can fit in is a good amount of writing.

I need to remember all that I'm facing and realize that. Writing is my passion. But so are so many other things as well. Any writing is a good amount of writing. It's okay, whatever I get done or don't.

---

I'll tag some people who I'm curious to hear what they have planned! If you've already made a post, feel free to tag me in a reblog. Also, of course, no pressure at all to do it, I'm just curious! @radley-writes @ratracechronicler @drowsy-quill @cwritesfiction and @yvesdot

#west rants #amwriting #writers of tumblr #writerblr #writing goals #the corvine #cypress ascending #hooo boy #so many things i want to do #so little free time...#wahhhh

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seventhrounder · 3 years

Text

I went thru my folder with old hockey magazines I had saved from around 2011 to 2015 and came across this one and thought it could be a fun to make a post about now in hindsight.

This is Jääkiekko magazine from May 2012, they always have a section of "99 questions with ..." and in this issue they interviewed Teräväinen.

I’ve translated the questions I found interesting under the cut! It ended up being about half of the interview. (*) are my additions.

On the cover "seuraava superjokeri" means the next super joker, he played for Helsingin Jokerit so it's a word play from that. Under, on the blue print it says: "The 17-year-old forward will become a first round draft pick in the summer. The natural goal scorer can dominate in SM-Liiga as soon as next season."

In the 2nd photo the headline and lead paragraph goes:

"A post with dents* - A year ago Teuvo Teräväinen was known only within a small number of hockey insiders. Few passers-by recognize him now either but after a flashy rookie season the Jokerit sensation is on the radar of every NHL team and is a strong contender to become a first round draft pick. Next season with Jokerit the talented second line center will be one of the main talking points in the SM-Liiga."

(*references the net Teräväinen had in his backyard and into which he practiced his shooting)

3. You've been described as a magician, top scorer, wunderkind and a prodigy. What do you think of these descriptions?

TT: Heh, those are some descriptions yeah. What can I really say? Don't really wanna comment on them much.

4. How nervous are you about the Draft?

TT: I try not to be nervous as best as I can. In a way I don't have anything to be nervous about since I don't care which team picks me or at what number I go.

6. Which is stressing you more, English interviews or physical tests?

TT: Maybe both. Bench press (laughs) and English interviews can be tough.

12. How far along have you planned your career with, for example, your parents or your agent?

TT: Haven't really planned things with others but I've thought about them myself. I try to go step by step and not jump too far ahead.

14. How does it feel to be so young with all the star players in Jokerit?

TT: How to say it? I haven't felt like I was young but a part of the team instead. The team's been very good with me and they haven't been looking down at me like: "oh he's young". It's been fun to play in an experienced team.

15. Is there a generational gap between players?

TT: You can see the age difference, older players look older but we're all childish, at least with our topics.

17. What does a 17-year-old do in the sauna nights of the team?

TT: I actually haven't been in any yet. I've always been at national team's camps or something.

19. Did you get the number you wanted?

TT: I did, yeah. I could've taken #18 but Semir (Ben-Amor) has it. But i'm happy with #86, it's good.

23. What are your strengths as a player?

TT: Offensive play and with that playing with the puck, passing, IQ, power play and skill, just the usual skill - skill with hands.

24. And weaknesses?

TT: They are to do with defensive play, strength and physicality. Battles and such but I think I took a step forward last season. That's a good thing.

25. Have you ever been "pressed into a mold" or has your playing style gotten to develop naturally?

TT: As a kid the play was mostly offensive/attacking, I didn't have to think about playing defence. Up until 15 years old, I got to attack pretty freely. Playing defence became more important when I started to play in A-juniors a couple seasons ago.

26. On a scale from 1 to 10 how determined are you?

TT: Maybe 8, feels like an 8.

32. What kind of role are you planning to take with Jokerit next season?

TT: I think a pretty big one. I try to be a top player and not just take others' example but give others example myself too. So that someone in the team can take something out of the way I do things on the ice and off the ice.

35. If you could pick anyone, who would be your car driver?

TT: Nico Manelius for sure. He's been my driver this season. I've had others too, like Riku Hahl but he's not nearly at the same level. Nico’s clearly the best.

36. What are the most important qualifications to be a good driver?

TT: The car is obviously important. Hahl's car is totally awful, he takes a lot of heat for it from the guys too. I wouldn't dare driving with him. Manelius is a steady performer, never lets you down.

38. What sports did you play as a 10-year-old?

TT: Hockey and floorball, probably football (soccer) during the summers at the time too.

42. When did you decide to focus only on hockey?

TT: So when I stopped playing other sports? Three years ago, before that floorball was kind of a side thing, I played a couple of games in the regular season and playoffs.

45. Do you follow floorball or other sports? Go to games?

TT: I don't go to games but I like to watch floorball on TV, it's an interesting sport. Sometimes I watch football too but I don't follow it much. Feels like they never score there.

47. Have you ever played with a wooden stick?

TT: As a kid I did play with a wooden stick.

49. You won the hockey players' golf tournament last summer even though there were more experienced players too. Are you good with all stick games?

TT: Well, I've been pretty good in all of them. I've played golf for a long time and still play it.

50. How is your swing?

TT: Pretty bold, kind of a hockey swing. I don't really care where the ball goes - as long as it goes far.

52. What do you think of off-ice training?

TT: Let's just say it's more stupid than being on the ice but you still gotta do it to be better on the ice.

56. Which word describes your professional relationship (with his coach, Tomek Valtonen), tranquil or colorful?

TT: Colorful of course. At times we're joking around, other times it's more serious but the relationship is really good.

57. Coaching you has been described in many words: good, bad, worse. What are they?

TT: Heh, well... I won't tell them here. He (Tomek) keeps the discipline during practices but sometimes when things haven't gone to a plan I've had to jump on an exercise bike in the middle of a practice.

58. What have been the reasons?

TT: I'll quote Tomek: "when I haven't been present".

59. Have you ever tried to turn the resistance of the bike to zero?

TT: (Laughs) Of course I have and sometimes I've even succeeded.

60. Describe your diet in three words?

TT: Greasy, healthy and good!

64. Your first name is not common for people your age. How did your parents come up with it?

TT: I actually don't even know. Maybe they didn't want a usual Ville*....

(*very common name for men of all ages in Finland)

66. Which of these is the most important: skill, unexpectedness or courage?

TT: Skill!

68. Your longest video game stint?

TT: Six hours, at least. I've played a lot of War of Duty lately.

72. The dumbest thing that has made you upset in hockey?

TT: Probably if I didn't get an assist on a goal even though I should have. Or even worse is if I score and they mark it down for someone else.

79. Have you had any concussions?

TT: I haven't had any, I've managed to always dodge them.*

(*ouch, tho it's good the recent one is his only as far as i remember)

84. In 2011 Team Finland finished in the 5th place at the U-18 tournament. Why only as 5th?

TT: Because we lost to Team Russia in the quarter final, just as well we could have won that game too.

89. You didn't get to be on the ice to accept the SM-Liiga bronze medal (because of the U-18's). When and where did you get it?

TT: I actually still haven't received it, I don't know where it is.

93. What is the population of Helsinki?

TT: There's like 5 million people in Finland so maybe around 500k in Helsinki? (to be exact 596k) Did i really get it right...?

94. Who's the mayor of Helsinki?

TT: I don't know, I barely know the president.

95. Do you think the municipalities in the capital city area should merge?

TT: Luckily I don't have to decide but they probably shouldn't.

96. What do you check first in the news paper?

TT: The sports section.

97. Your favorite tv show?

TT: Putous* was pretty good, I liked a lot of the characters. The grandma was pretty good.

(*Finnish live improvisation comedy/sketch show (there are still new seasons, the latest just finished). Every actor comes up with a humor character with a catchy phrase and one of them wins. "The grandma" is Marja Tyrni and I just got such flashbacks from typing this sentence.)

98. Last book you read?

TT: I don't read many books. The last book was a study book, a Finnish book. I wrote an essay on Tiki (Esa) Tikkanen's biography. An eventful book, great career and a lot of chirps.

99. Who should we ask the 99 questions next?

TT: Riku Hahl could have good stories, he's also seen a lot of the world.

#teuvo teräväinen #teuvo teravainen #carolina hurricanes #canes #hockey #nhl #mp #i knew i had this mag but i thought it was from 2014 and post draft #i really didn't rmbr i've been following turbo for this many years???#good on 16yo me for spending 8 euros on this tho that was excellent thinking

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starshiningsirius · 4 years

Text

Affection (Yandere Floyd x reader)

Turns out @minteasketches birthday is the day before mine and I couldn't decide who I wanted to write for so I asked for a few of her favorite characters and had a draft for Floyd that would have sat. So I'll just post this on her birthday as a gift and have this be my post for my birthday too! Happy Birthday by the way you wonderful writer and artist I love your work!🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

"I really don't like youuu~"

Floyd took a step closer towards the student with a menacing look in his eyes. Anyone who pissed him off had hell to pay for it that was for sure. He would make sure he never layed his disgusting fingers on her again.

His adorable little shrimpy that he adored so much. It was always oh so tempting to hold her close and squeeze her tight, which is what he usually did on the daily basis, but today was different. She had to spend time with another student and denied his affections promptly. After she had left him after apologizing Floyd went into depression again. His shrimpy never failed to brighten his day. Except today of course, when he didn't feel like going to club, specially not with his bad mood.

"Why does she have to spend time with someone else, can't she see I need her more." He released a sigh thinking more and more about the whole situation, her words recalling in his mind.

Then an idea popped up in his head. He could always spend time with her afterwards. She mentioned going to the library to tutor, he'd surprise her there, as soon as she was done!

He arrived there early then the supposed study session. He was actually hiding behind a bookshelf waiting for her to arrive. He noticed one student sitting their waiting impatiently. He assumed that he was the idiot who needed some help. After a little while he finally saw her arrive. It did irritate him to see her with someone else, but he knew the kind of person Y/n was and leaving someone to fail just wasn't her.

Overtime he started to see her become frustrated which wasn't like her in the slightest. She even taught the little sea otter who was beyond hope when it came to teaching him something. She was ever patient and calm the entire time. This guy managed to piss her off so easily, he had to be doing something wrong, at least that's what Floyd deduced. Seeing her so angry made him both curious and annoyed. What could he possibly have said to make her mad?

Floyd at least had a bit more constraint in him today and decided to listen in to gain some understanding.

"Hey, why do you always spend time with that eel?"

"Can you focus please?"

"Why as far as I'm concerned your hanging out with a crazy pyscho merman? He's gotta be forcing you." This student was really getting on his nerves.

He took his time away from his shrimpy, and for what to spread lies and try to pull her away from him. Not only that he placed his hand on her and she looked discomforted by it, never did she feel that way when Floyd would hug her randomly. It really didn't sit well with him, he was agitated and beyond that rage filled his system. That was never a good sign for anyone nearby.

He was about a second from taking the student and squeezing the life out of him literally. Until he saw his little shrimp stand from her seat.

"An arrogant bastard like you could never compare Floyd! He's far more sweet and lovable then you'll ever be! Don't you dare ever say shit about him!" She actually punched him across his face which surprised Floyd greatly cause the impact knocked the student out of his chair.

She immediately picked up her books and went off towards her dorm Floyd assumed, he couldn't keep his eyes off her until she exited the library. His heart was pounding faster in his chest and a smile ecstasy. Shrimpy really thought of him like that huh?

It definitely made him feel happy to learn how she felt. Maybe he should tell her he feels the same too! Ah, but Floyd still doesn't know himself what the feeling is but since Jade's so smart he'll just ask him!

He heard the groans of the student on the ground which brought him out of his thoughts. He saw the student getting back up from the floor murmuring curses and insulting his darling Shrimpy. It definitely reminded him of his rage against him for taking up her time in the first place, but now he insults her it struck a sense of bloodlust in the eel. He shouldn't do this in here though, he's sure Jade could help him get rid of any evidence too.

. . .

"Angelfish where are youuuu~?"

"Floyd-" She couldn't speak for a second cause a pair of long arms wrapped around her neck, covering her mouth, and a head nuzzled in her cheek.

"Yup~" He showed her a sharp toothed smile.

"Floyd you seem overly happy these days, has something happened?"

"Huh~ What do ya mean Shrimpy? I get to spend more time with you that always makes me happy!"

She was relieved on the inside since she tried calling him yesterday after the library incident and he didn't pick up. She called Jade too but he said his brother was doing something important for Azul, for a second there she thought she had put him in one of his bad mood swings by denying him.

Speaking of which,

"Floyd?" He wouldn't stop nuzzling her until he heard her voice calling him.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have denied your offer, that guy was a total prick. I should have chosen you instead. If you forgive me I'll get you some candy at Sam's Shop?" She tried to offer him.

"Eh? It's fine Shrimpy but since your offering I want to get some and share it with you!" He seemed far more cheerful than the mood you left him in yesterday. Usually his mood swings would last the whole day and bargaining him with something would work even his brother didn't have control over him all the time.

It definitely felt strange in her mind but she had to dismiss it with Floyd pulling her arm in the direction of the school store.

. . .

He had brought a lot of supplies from the store more than usual. As she had asked out of curiosity he said it was a surprise. Later on the next day she found out that the surprise was making takoyaki together.

It really did surprise her, seeing Floyd be this thoughtful took her by surprise. He was more of a PDA type rather than wholesome cooking together. She did tell him once that she wanted to try it once with him,, after learning his favorite food. That was a while ago though and for him to remember such a small detail like that. She shrugged it off as nothing though and went about doing the instructions Floyd gave as they worked together in the Octanivelle kitchen.

Both of them were enjoying themselves and when it came time to heat them up he put in one last ingredient mixing with the cream color mixture. He didn't want to tell her what it was but he said it was extra special.

When it came time that it was all done he told her to open wide.

"Shrimpy come on open up~! I want you to try the first bite of this new batch so you can tell me what you think! " He looked happy and stared at her in anticipation.

The gaze had her face turning red in which she could hear the laugh of the other twin within the empty Monstro Lounge. She didn't want to keep him waiting so she did as he was told and opened her mouth.

Soon as the sphere shaped food had entered and she had chewed the taste was weird, normal savory flavor but with the taste of something she couldn't put her finger on.

It wasn't that many of the food and as soon as she finished she had another pressed to her lips. Until it was all gone did the process repeat. That's when her vision began to get hazy.

"Floyd I don't feel so well. I think I need to go to the infirmary." Her body swayed as tried standing before she could take a step her body fell over tripping on air possibly.

"Eh~ What do you mean, Angelfish? You don't need to rely on anyone else but me." He had pulled her toward his chest the warmth lulling her senses into a gentle slumber.

. . .

When she woke up she found herself in Floyd's room, the messy appearance of it familiar to her. It was strange though since she couldn't remember coming into the room or falling asleep. The taste of takoyaki though remained on her tongue and she recalled a couple of things including the so called 'special ingredient' Floyd put in a few of them that he got from Azul.

It must have put her to sleep, but why would Floyd do something like this?

When she heard the door open she looked up and saw the man in question. He was elated to finally see her awake and ran over to you quickly.

"Angelfish! Your finally up! Great that means we can play now!" One word in particular stood out to her.

"Angelfish? You usually call me Shrimpy. Floyd what's going on?" She was confused and wanted answers but it only made the eel happy.

"Oh your mine now! That little study session of yours with that annoying little crab, you defended me, it was so amazing to see you angry for me Angelfish! It made me so happy so I had to show my affection back some way."

"What do you mean?" She did not like where this was going. She had used violence which was unlike her but with Floyd's seeing it too it's not a good thing for how he would interpret it. She did like the eel of course but she might have put the life of a student in danger.

"He was trying to take my angelfish away from me, so I let him know just how much I love you! Jade said it'd be good to show you how much and you used violence so I should do the same!" He nuzzled his mouth near her neck invoking a shiver to crawl up the girl's spine as he inhaled her scent.

That guy was right about him being dangerous, but he only did want to show you his affection.

Masterlist

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland #twst #yandere floyd leech #twst floyd #floyd leech #octavinelle #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland floyd

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