#(his mother was too mentally ill to look after him and his siblings at the time so his father surrendered them to different working schools

[obstinatecondolement]

I give my dad's brother a pass on never contacting us, as he is more broadly shunning all of my dad's side of the family. He was adopted and was treated like shit by my grandmother, because she a) didn't want to adopt and resented her adopted children, and b) was a fucking racist to her black adopted children, so he doesn't consider us to be his family. Particularly now that he is in contact with his biological mother and half-siblings.

He's also chronically depressed to a very disabling degree and lives in another country, so like... there are barriers to communication there that are different to the rest of the family not talking to us because they think we're embarrassing and messy.

[readychilledwine]

Hey. It's me again. I was wondering if you could write something. Where reader is taking care of her younger siblings because her father who was a single dad had died due to some illness which she has now and it is going to kill her. The ic notices last minute. Az is just pissed because she is his wife and she made up a lie to break his heart. You can decided if there is a cure they found or not. Thanku. Hope you are doing well

I'm convinced you want me to break Azriel's (and my) heart, and I almost did it this time 👀👀👀👀

Losing Forever

Warnings - illness, mentions of death, heartbreak, losing a family member, angst with a happier ending than originally planned, mentions of medical procedures and blood. Ps- there's a little hint of Azris in there if you squint. 👀

A/n - I changed the ending of this two or three times, and I'm not 100% happy, but that's my inner perfectionist. I seriously considered something less happy, but I think I mentally care about Azriel having a happy ending way too much.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Madja stared at you in silence. "Where and how?" The healer finally said before pulling any books she could. "Y/n, where and how?"

She had confirmed your fear as you began to pick at the loose skin on your nails. "My father had written for me," you went into the story, the old healer looking at you every so often as she flipped through page after page.

The conclusion was the same. Illryian Fever. You had heard of it wiping whole camps clean. Incurable, deadly, and incredibly painful for the affected. "You cannot go home. You could pass this to Nyx, Rhys, Azriel, or Cassian if they get too close to you." You nodded. "I will keep looking, y/n, but I have to go tell the High Lord which camp it was spreading through and that you have it."

Your trip home had taken much longer than you and Azriel had believed it would. He crossed his arms over his chest as Madja sat across from Rhys. The healer's face was pale. Her hands shaking with nerves. "Not that I am unhappy to see you, old friend, but why are you here?" Rhys leaned back a brow raised.

They heard her throat clear before a pregnant pause came. "Illyrian fever struck the Snowfall Camp. At least 50 are dead, countless are infected." Azriel's heart froze, and Cassian looked at him.

Rhys swallowed thickly. "Why do you have this information before I do?" He prayed to the Mother that the answer they all knew was coming wouldn't be said. "Surely, if it was spreading, I would know by now."

Madja rose a brow at Rhysand before taking his hand in hers. "You know the answer to that question, High Lord. She's in the Halls of Healing. I will not allow her to come out here. I will not allow visitors until a shield is in place." Rhys closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. "I need anything you can get me regarding similar strands of illnesses if there will be a small chance of saving her."

Azriel felt Cassian grab him as his knees gave out. He felt his brother lowering him to the floor. He couldn't hear Rhys and Madja trying to talk to him. Every sound was muffled as if he was underwater, his heart rate was skyrocketing, his eyes wide with panic. The sound of his heartbeat increasing became a pounding drum. The noise was all he could focus on until your soft voice came into his mind.

Just a week, my love. Father said Luka, and he had simple colds. I will be right back to you. He rewatched the moment now, replaying the subtle things in your body language. The distant look in your eyes, the way you kissed him harder than you had for any other previous goodbye.

You knew, he realized, you knew, and you lied.

After countless hours spent hunched over books and chasing away sleep, Rhys had found a way for them to all see you. He kept a shield between you all, clutching Nyx tightly to him as he tried to reach you and cried for his favorite aunt.

It had been a week with no news regarding a cure, and your body was clearly tired of fighting. You had stopped eating 2 days ago, spending hours now in the throes of sleepless dreams and fevered nightmares. He had brought the heir to say goodbye, knowing from Madja's predictions, the progression, and years of experience you had until morning unless a miracle came.

Feyre was in the room with you. Holding your hand as she sobbed heavily into the bed. She could not pass the disease unless she made the choice to shift, and the wall Rhys was offering was too much for her. She needed to hold your hand to feel your soft palms one last time. But, it was too much for him as well. The sight of you like this was eating away at him. "Feyre, darling, please." She nodded, with one last kiss goodbye placed on your forehead.

Cassian and Nesta came next. Lady Death was held back by her husband, his hand resting on her swollen stomach. He took in your peaceful face, the countless medications being pumped into you to keep you comfortable. Ness unleashed a heartbreaking cry after they had spent almost an hour talking to you, hoping your mind wasn't lost enough that it could hear them still. Cassian took that as the cue, gently ushering his wife out of the room and into the large area Madja had set up for the Inner Circle to wait in.

It went on like that until they had all visited you. Elain and Lucien, then Mor, then Amren. Eris had even come, warming your room and sheets more as he watched you shiver. He walked back into the room, kissing Elain's temple to greet his sister in law before placing a supportive hand on Azriel's shoulder.

It was not every day someone felt the mating bond fading. Numbness had taken over the spymaster, along with anger, as he found letters confirming you knew what you were possibly walking into. But you had done it for your father. Your brother.

You had done it because they had no one else. Your mother was long gone, and your sisters married off to other camps. He did not rank high enough to garner attention from healers, your half brother was merely a child, and it would have been seen as survival of the fittest.

You had risked your life to ensure their last moments were comfortable, and now Azriel would pay that price.

"Azriel," Madja said softly, "if you want to say goodbye, you need to now." Eris and Lucien all but dragged the male to your room when he refused to move, shutting the door behind him and waiting in the hall.

Azriel felt ill as he took you in. This wasn't you. The sickly pale skin, the hallow cheeks, the lack of laughter and light. He felt a knot forming in his throat as he mindless stepped as close to you as he could before the shock of the barrier hit him.

He couldn't even hold your hand in your last moments. He sat in the chair slowly. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice finally broke the heaviness of the room. "Why did you lie to me?" He felt tears damping his lashes before falling. "You are my mate, y/n. Why did you lie to me about this?"

He watched you, knowing he wouldn't get a response. "I'm fucking angry. I have to spent your last moments angry with you because of a choice you made. We could have sent healers, love," his voice cracked. "We could have sent anyone but you."

Azriel was openly weeping now. "You promised me forever, y/n. You promised me years of love, joy, and unconditional happiness." He knew you had not broken the latter of the 3. You had given Azriel countless memories. Countless moments of laughter, of warmth and love.

You had melted that icy part deep down in his soul that was slowly resolidifying as he accepted the loss and anger he felt. "You promised me forever, and you shit on it. You shit on me, on my feelings, our marriage, our bond." The coldness grew with each word. "Did you even actually love me, or was that a lie too?"

He knew deep down it wasn't and watched as your finger, the one with your wedding ring, twitched. Rhys entered the room calmly behind him. "She can fucking hear you, Azriel. She's awake," he chastised. "Do not let your last moments with her be moments of anger and self sabot-" Rhys froze, his eyes flicking to the doorway. Hope filled Rhysand's features. "Hold on, y/n. Just please keep fighting, sis."

Madja and Helion, followed by Thesan, ran into the room. Rhys pulled Azriel back and away, making room for the three of them to work. "Mother, fuck," Helion said softly as he took your hand. "This better work fast, Thesan."

The Lord of Dawn rolled his eyes. "I didn't exactly have countless illyrians lining up to test it, Helion. Especially not ones in this advanced of a condition." Azriel flinched as Thesan shoved something into the vein of your hand. A soft whimper of pain fell from your throat. "I know, lovely. I'm sorry. This might be very uncomfortable." He set a bag of clear glowing liquid on the rack. "Who's blood?"

"Mine," Helion immediately offered. "I don't want to risk you taking it home to your winged legion from potential blood contact."

Thesan's jaw twitched. "I don't know if you can handle another one, Hel."

"Use me." A calm cool voice said from the doorway. "I owe him a life debt. Use me." Thesan nodded, motioning for the owner of the voice to move closer.

Eris stepped forward and through the shield, taking the seat Helion had moved closer to you. The heir held your hand gently as Thesan tapped into his vein. "You might be here awhile, Eris." The heir nodded. "I also cannot promise you doing this will save her, but it's her best shot until Tarquin, Tamlin, or Kallias can get here. It works best with a high lord's blood."

Your breathing had evened out, and Azriel watched in silence as Thesan hooked one more needle to your opposite arm from Eris and into a different container. He back away along with Helion, watching as Eris's blood slowly began to travel the tubes and into you, and your own began to leave.

"There's a similar illness in the Peregryn and the Seraphim," Thesan began slowly. "Drakon and I figured this out many years ago. The contagion cannot survive high fae blood for some reason. We had figured Rhysand's father would have done the same, but it appears not considering the situation."

Rhys scoffed slightly. "You two give my father far too much credit on anything. Velaris is the best thing he created, with the exception of myself of course." The joke broke the tension. "How long until she's not contagious."

Helion motioned towards the bag. "The second that started pumping into her, she stopped. That is water from the fountain Amarantha tried to destroy under the mountain. It's sacred and all healing. We were hoping with how poorly she was doing it would prevent anything from progressing further."

Azriel felt the shield drop and ran to your open side. Taking a cold hand in his, feeling the weight of your ring. "This was successful in the camps. I apologize it took us so long to get here. Finding Illyrians willing to help us help them instead of accept death was-" Helion just shrugged, looking at Rhys. "You all are too stubborn for your own good. Eris, what do you want for food? You'll need it."

Rhys held his hand up. "I know where he likes to eat here. I will send you two food. I'm going to get everyone else out for a break, though. And to explain what's happening." He motioned for Thesan and Helion to come with him, squeezing Azriel's shoulder and shooting Eris one last look before shutting the door.

Silence fell between the two of them, both of their eyes locked on you. "If this saves her, you need to grovel and apologize immediately." Eris would not look at him. "I would have never said to my mate what you said to her on their deathbed."

Azriel nodded. "Why are you doing this?"

Eris finally looked up at him, before looking at you. "You came and saved me from that bitch of a queen and the deathless God, Azriel. She nursed me back to health and healed me after countless beating from my father. You are my friends, even if you do not acknowledge that. I care about you, Az." Eris paused, his eyes focused on the fire, starting it back up into a gentle blaze to heat the room again. "Besides, I quite enjoy your wife. She is wonderful. Even if you are a moody brute."

Azriel laughed lightly. Allowing silence to fall between the two of them again. His shadows appeared some time later with two books from thin air, taking one to Eris and dropping one in Azriel's lap. They then pushed side tables to the two males as Rhys sent them food.

Eris guffawed in awe as Azriel's shadows began to cut their steaks. "Is this your way of saying thank you, shadowsinger?" Azriel nodded. Opening his mouth while staring at Eris to allow his companions to feed him. "You're welcome, Azriel. She looks better already." And you did. Color had slightly returned to your face. Your lashes occasionally fluttered against your cheeks.

They welcomed in quiet again, finishing their meals and desserts before a soft knock came on the door almost an hour later. A shadow opened it, and Eris's face almost fell before he chuckled through his breath. "You are not the one I was expecting."

The scent of rain and fresh cut grass hit Azriel. Had this been a different circumstance, Azriel would have shielded you, protectrd you, but he knew there was only one way this male got in, and that sacrifice from Rhysand shocked him.

"My schedule clears easily these days." Tamlin placed a hand on Azriel's shoulder. "You look like shit, Azriel." The shadowsinger watched Thesan appear and began to unhook Eris.

The heir moved to the chair by Azriel, drinking the water a shadow had handed to him as the small puncture wound instantly healed. They watched as Thesan hooked Tamlin up to you. They watched as Tamlin's blood seemed to instantly make a huge difference. You had stopped shivering completely. Your body relaxed. You were even breathing deeper.

Thesan observed for a while. Watching as Rhys then sent Tamlin food, causing the two high lords to laugh. "Tarquin will be here by morning, and Kal will be here tomorrow afternoon. The Inner Circle is each going to take turns after you, with the exception of Rhysand. Feyre will sit in his place. Then Tarquin, Kal, then Helion and myself. I think it will take all of us since she was so advanced into the illness."

Tamlin nodded. "I apologize I was not here sooner."

Thesan shook his head. "Eris was more than enough to get her off the brink. Now, all you have to do is sit and stabilize her, and from there, we will heal her."

Thesan crossed his arms in front of his body, brows raised as he nodded to the plate in front of Tamlin. "I was informed not to leave until you ate a bite." Tamlin laughed as shadows copied their previous motions, cutting his steak like they had for Eris before holding a bite to his face.

Eris had fallen asleep, his head resting on Azriel's shoulder. Thesan grabbed a blanket, pulling it over the heir, and Azriel wrapped a wing around him on instinct as well.

"She's going to recover, Azriel," Thesan said. "Might want to start writing that apology letter. Rhys said her thoughts regarding you were not kind when she called for him. Something about stupid illyrian brutes and over egotistical bastards?"

Tamlin and Azriel laughed. Azriel didn't take his eyes off of you as you shakily raised a single finger to him. "So a fancy date, an apology letter, and a vacation. Noted, my love."

[zutarasbuff]

Found this somewhere on Tumblr, it infuriated me to a great extent and forced me to crush the “coloniser-colonial romance” accusation against the Zutara nation. For this, you need to read everything quite carefully that will be presented to you.

So people who accuse Zutara use this narrative that Zuko had a princely life as a colonizer, unlike Katara. Now look at the ground reality:

Katara’s mother Kya lied to Yon Rha that she was the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe to save her daughter. A similar act was done by Ursa (Zuko’s mother) who killed Firelord Azulon with her potion as part of her deal with Ozai to save the life of her son Zuko and got banished eventually. That makes us come to one certain conclusion:

Both Zuko and Katara spent greater part of their life without their mothers and this impacted their childhood badly as we find them dealing with the trauma of loss even after they hit puberty.

As if the absence of a mother was not enough, when Hakoda (Katara’s father) leaves with the fleet for the war, it’s almost the same time when we find Ozai getting immersed in attacking other nations, so much so that he’s never there for both of his children. Technically speaking, even if Ozai was there physically, he was never emotionally available for his children being a narcissistic father.

I would say that Zuko had the worst childhood experience as compared to Katara because Katara had a brother who always supported his sister in dealing with the trauma, but we don’t see that in the case of Zuko whose own sister used to bully him right from the childhood for being too weak and the mom’s pet.

Now let’s analyze the colonizer part. Unfortunately, Zuko was born to a father who was not just the worst ruler but an equally worse son, brother, husband, and father. One can say that Zuko’s only fault was to hail from a wrong family but other than that, he was never a colonizer. You may ask why. I will give you a reason.

It’s not just Katara who has to bear the ill effects of the war that was imposed on her, but in many ways Zuko was a direct victim of what we call “Emotional Imperialism”. In psychology, it’s a condition where the colonizers not just physically take control of their colonies, but they start infusing their ideals deep into the mentality of their subjects as well.

Coming back to the case of Zuko, we find that he never gets to formulate the normal father-son relationship with Ozai, rather Ozai treats both his children as his humble subjects who need to obey him unquestionably and need to be perfect as his subjects. He’s in every sense not just a narcissistic parent but a controlling one as well who emotionally traps both his children and wants to rule over them at every cost. The apparent manifestation of this emotional imperialism is evident through:

Zuko’s quest to be the best firebender

When the colonizers start ruling over a certain colony, it’s the colonials who feel the need to be validated by their masters. It’s their first survival strategy that they embrace the change as they know resistance is going to be of no use. They simply adapt themselves to the new ideals that are set forth by their ruling masters. Similarly, Ozai always wanted his children to be the absolute embodiment of Azulon’s great bloodline and both his children obliged to his desires because they feared the firelord. Therefore, his stiff standards force both his children to compete against each other from a very young age. This is the worst form of emotional imperialism where the subjects simply want some validation in return and therefore they are ready to even forget their kinship. That’s what we find as Zuko repeatedly wants to “get his honor back and win the trust of his father”. What do you think this honor is? It’s not the quest for being the next heir to the throne, rather it’s being the absolute best in the eyes of the master who controls both the siblings. We know Ozai has a manipulative nature and this relates exactly to the manipulative attitude of a colonizer who puts the colonials against each other.

Zuko’s almost absent friend circle

Have you ever seen the modus operandi of the colonizers? They alienate their subjects so that the subjects find no way of self-expression and eventually give up to the demands of their masters. That’s exactly the scenario that propagates in Zuko’s life. Other than Mai and Ty Lee we don’t even find his friends throughout the series. Isn’t it a bit strange that despite being a prince, he has no guy friend of his age? He has no friends at all. It’s because the master (Ozai) wanted so. The siblings never get much exposure to the outside world. When we draw a comparison of Zuko’s situation, then Katara seems to be at an advantage in that she found a peer group that allowed her to grow further and overcome her insecurities. Zuko, however never got a chance to blend into an actual peer group and that kept him secluded throughout and gave him his introverted persona. Don’t you find it strange that as a friend Zuko got no one but his uncle who had a lot of age differences and the opinions differed too? This created a rift further maybe because Zuko felt that somehow his feelings were not interpreted well by Uncle Iroh. Compared to his “angry guy” persona, he grows a lot more friendly when he finds the gang or should we say people of his age. This allows him to understand his persona in a constructive way and he strives to alter the course of his life afterwards.

Identity crisis

Out of all the characters on ATLA, people often say that Zuko is the one with the most complex attributes because he is not even sure of his “destiny”. Sounds familiar? Eh? Well, this is the typical case of an identity crisis existing in the subjects of a colony. Zuko goes through this phase where he is always striving hard to explore his identity, and his destiny thus fueling his internal rage as well. A kaleidoscopic journey is what he follows. Sometimes it’s rage, sometimes regret and sometimes he even questions the actions of his father. By the end, his driving force to change his alliances is nothing but this very identity crisis. This makes me remember a very interesting observation that whenever he’s near the gang, he’s a bit cranky and at the same time uneasy because he looks at the gang as the polar opposite of himself. To a caged bird who has accepted his fate, even the slightest call of resistance feels like Hades’ call and that’s why he repeatedly aims to avoid Aang’s calls for forming a friendship because he is afraid of peeking into his resisting side. That’s the typical thing you find in Haru who despite being a fine earthbender resists waging a war against the firebenders who roam freely in his village at first. So would you blame Zuko for never resisting the colonization when as a subject it was inherent to his mentality for a long time?

A harsh realisation

People who degrade Zutara with this stupid claim that Katara was the only one who “lost everything” need to get their brains checked thoroughly because when we compare her loss to the magnitude of the loss faced by Zuko at the end of the war, the comparing scale diverts wildly in Zuko’s favor. Though many of you know this; I will recall it for you again. Katara lost her mother to the war but in the end, she got lifelong friends to cherish with her brother as well father. On the contrary, even during the war, we find that Zuko loses not only his mother, his father, and his sister in the worst possible way. It means all his family members are lost to him in every sense when the war ends. Now some of you will come to me with the argument that the gang eventually finds Ursa back but how? With her memories all erased. It means that the war has not just left him with permanent emotional wounds but it has further taken the very idea of a family from his life.

We zutarians never ship Zutara together because we “just find them good together” but it’s deeper than that. It’s because Zuko was the one who understood Katara’s quest for Yon Rha in order to find answers behind her mother’s death in addition to revenge. This is because deep down he was always looking for the answers of his mother’s (who was the only real person known to him) banishment. That’s exactly what we find after Zuko becomes the firelord. The first thing he does is asking Ozai questions and being certain that he’s finally gonna tell everything. We ship them together because Katara was the only person who understood the value of Zuko jumping in front of Azula’s lightning to save her. We ship them together because we believe if it had become a potential canon, maybe both of them could have helped each other in healing with their individual traumas and creating a real family together.

[aisereththeprince]

Posting the Submas (+ Akari and Elesa) hc from my Masterpost here.

•The twins are both autistic. Elesa and Akari have ADHD.

•Emmet has about 1 or 2 full boxes/pastures of joltiks. 2 of which are shiny and are siblings.

• Ingo adopted an injured zorua. After the events of PLA he brought back both a hisuan sneasel and a hisuan zorua. He gave said zorua to Emmet.

•Elesa and the twins are childhood besties. Elesa later met Skyla cuz Gym leader stuff and... they get into a relationship lol

• Talking abt relationships: Elesa is Bi, Skyla is Les as for the twins idk but I was thinking ftm and pan. Akari is AroAce, Lucas is Gay and Barry is Bi. They're all gay lol /hj

•The twins' parents didn't know how to raise autistic kids, neither did they really like the transitioning, so Drayden was the one to step up and raise them. (Even though he was often busy w Gym business.)

More under cut

• Ingo was trapped in Hisui for seven years. Akari for five. She ended up landing w Ingo in Unova instead of Sinnoh when they came back. Parts of their memory is still foggy but after half a year or so they remember pretty much everything they had forgotten.

• Akari took longer than Ingo to remember things at the beginning and had to stay with the twins a while before remembering her mother, Barry and the professor. (She has the impression having seen a similar face elsewhere (Kamado)).

• Akari's middle name is Dawn. She used to not like the name Akari but now she prefers people call her that instead.

• Lucas is Akari's twin brother. He really reminds her of Rei. (Also Lucas has a thing for Barry later on after PLA stuff)

• The twins live together. They always have, they always will.

• The twins almost never fight. Almost. When they do it gets really bad. It's SUPER rare tho lol (rarer than a shiny in early Gens)

• After PLA, Ingo picks up carving wood into stuff as a hobby. He's REALLY good at it. Emmet has always liked reading. Sometimes he prefers audiobooks.

•The twins were 25 ish before PLA and 32 ish after PLA. Ingo looked really bad in Hisui (suffering of illness, mental health and physical scars and more) so people there thought he was older, therefore he did too.

• Many thought Ingo dead and some thought him murdered. By Emmet. This added on to Emmets stress and grief but he never gave up his search. Elesa forced Emmet to take a break at some point because things were getting BAD.

•Ingo just can't smile. His frown is unintentional (like in canon). This will be used as a fluff thing when he gets back after PLA events :]

[kindaasrikal]

If theres one thing i enjoy about MHA, is the multiple perspectives of a child who was abused by their parents.

There’s Todoroki, who grew to resent both, yet once he learnt that that resentment was only hurting him he went to visit his mother, and learnt to both give her a second chance and to later forgive her. Yet with Endeavour, Shoto still kept his resentment, yet it lessened over time to a simmer because why should he let the rightful anger he held and the abuse of his past always hold him back to who he once was? Not only that, but Shoto later allowed Endeavour to try prove himself to becoming a better person, which led to Shoto later giving him a second chance in his life. NOT forgiveness nor forgetting what had happened, but a chance.

Fuyumi and Natsuo are direct opposites of each other. Fuyumi learnt to try her best to keep the family together, to keep them all healthy whilst also ensuring she herself is healthy and doing her best, yet having become the eldest sibling so young she took on too much responsibility as both the eldest siblings and only women in the house. She felt the need to stick around and carry all their burdens and do her best to have some form of a family, something she’s always dreamed of. Natsuo, on the other hand, wishes to escape from it all. He still hold his anger, rightfully so, and the only reason he stays around is for his siblings and his mother, not Endeavour. It’s like a ticking time bomb when those two are in the same room, and Natsuo is not trying to fix anything about that or the crumbles of their family. What Natsuo wishes to do is pretend it never happened and continue on with who they are now. He wishes to move on from the past yet he can’t let go of it. He will never forgive Endeavour, and would never give him an honest second chance, but he will let him be in his life if it means the rest of his family will be happy.

Dabi, on the other hand, feels no love for his family. The abuse and neglect he faced lead him down a dark path of hurting himself, others, and his family. The only thing that his keeping him living is his anger and resentment, his need for revenge and the pain that child faced all those years ago, knowing that not even his death changed the horrors of his family. It started off as anger at Endeavour only, yet as a child its hard to blame the person you look up to so much, so the little things his family did (not on purpose, never) made his anger and hatred point towards all of them. Shoto took my place, Natuso didn’t care, Fuyumi wouldn’t understand when shes just a girl, Mom is too weak, Dad wouldn’t listen to me. It all piled up and kept piling up as it left an traumatised child in the body of an adult. All Dabi wanted, all Touya wanted, was to make his family proud of him, to have them love him. At the end, it took death and sacrifice for him to realise that he could’ve had it all years ago.

Hawks grew up in a poor family, that led to them being abusive and mentally ill. Hawks did not grow up in a loving family, yet he still loved both his parents (well, mainly his mother). He was afraid of what had become of his family and grew to realise that sometimes in life the only person you can save is yourself. Yet Hawks didn’t want that to be the case. He wished he had done more, for his mother and for his father, he wished he was there with and for them, that he could’ve been their hero instead of doing everything he can to escape. Hawks felt a sense of responsibility because if circumstances were different, would they have suffered as much? If the only true struggle was money, then if he had made enough would it had fixed it all? If he was there for his mother after going pro, could he have mended his relationship and eased his own heart? I think that is why he was so proud of Shoto when he found out the secret of the Todoroki Family, because Shoto was exactly the kinda person, and the kinda hero, he wished he was.

None of these are the right ways for a child in an abusive family to behave, and none of these are the wrong ways either. They are ways that they are coping and they are so different to each other yet these are real life situations children end up resorting to and being stuck in. Some run, some hope, some hate, some cling, and some move on. Horikoshi perfectly demonstrated multiple perspectives of children in abusive households and that is something i will always love, because as much as we as viewers and readers enjoy the prospect of revenge and justice, as people that is not what we always need.

[haileyywrites]

(Part 3) The Wanderer had promised that one day he would return to Inazuma to see you once again. You had promised to wait until he was ready and though he didn't believe himself to be yet, the Dendro Archon's advice convinced him otherwise...

-> Wanderer x Gn Reader! Platonic!

-> Spoiler warning for 3.3 Archon Quest! They/them pronouns used for reader! Reader is naive/innocent! Complicated past and sad memories! Mentions of Scaramouche choking reader previously! Hopefully not, but ooc warning! This is just for fun so might not be exactly lore accurate! Warning for this being long - I wanted to go all out for the last part!! I tried my best but if you see any errors please point them out!!

"One day" he had promised you. Though seasons changed and years passed, neither of you ever forgot those words or that promise. You were both strangers to each other, but that promise was a precious thing you held onto despite being nothing more than words he had once said to you. So you waited and waited - no matter how many years or how long. That is what you had promised in return.

You strived for patience like your mother as she alone searched for Eternity within the Plane of Euthymia forever and ever, but you were far from your mother. You were not like the Shogun either, which is why you craved to meet your brother again. Wheter you would form a familial or friend-like relationship remained to be seen, but you craved to form a connection with another like you.

Eons of loneliness feeling out of place no matter where or who you were with could so easily be worth it if he held onto his end of that promise. Deep down you knew from the moment those words left his mouth that he wouldn't break his promise. It was clearly something very important to him and perhaps one day you would know why that was.

One day...

Just like you Wanderer kept thinking about that promise and how each passing day you were out there waiting for him... He felt quilty for not being ready after all this time, but you promised him you'd wait until he was ready. He didn't like promises, they were just words that could so easily be broken or forgotten. But he wanted to trust you even the tiniest amount and believe you were still waiting for him.

“Wanderer?” Nahida called out to him and snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” He simply answered.

“Nothing, you just seemed to be off on your own world. Care to share your thoughts?” She asked.

He hesitated for a moment, but would it hurt to be truthful? Especially with Nahida as she of all didn't harbor any ill intentions towards him and she could always just read his mind if she wanted to - not that she would do so without his permission. At least he hoped she wouldn't...

“Haah... I don't know if you already know this, but I have a sort of sibling.” He sighed deeply.

“A sibling?” She curiously asked.

“Beelzebub had made another puppet after me and before the Shogun - as I was a colossal failure she needed to start again before she could make her perfect final product. Not that they were that much better or different.” He bitterly stated.

“Please, continue.” She gently urged.

“I met them for the first time long ago when I was still a Harbinger. I held so much hatred towards them and how Beelzebub chose to keep them while I was thrown away and discarded. I hurt them.” He quietly explained.

“How?” Nahida was clearly worried about you, but also him and his mental health.

“I choked them. I wrapped my hands around their throat and squeezed as hard as I could, they were too weak to fight back. I wanted to see the life leave their eyes as I imagined what the all mighty Archon of Eternity would have looked like as someone broke the news to her. But I remember looking into their eyes and suddenly I felt powerless - like I couldn't go through with it...” He reminisced.

“Why?” She inquired.

“Because those were the same eyes as mine, at least the same as Kabukimono. They were innocent and bright. I realized then that my hatred had nothing to do with them, it was just jealousy.” He nodded to himself.

“I see. So you regret what you did?”

“Of course... But that wasn't everything. I went to see them after you returned my memories, they hadn't changed one bit. After I had stopped choking them they had asked if I was okay, can you believe that? They don't have the memory of almost dying by my hand, but they were still the same.” He laughed.

“I promised them I'd return, but I don't know when I'll be ready for that. They don't remember or know how dangerous I am to them and that's frustrating me. They just look and see me with those innocent and pure eyes...” He rubbed his temples.

“Hmm... We could always return their memories to them like yours, but the process would likely be the as difficult. It would have to be by their own request.” Nahida explained.

“Do you think it's a good idea?” Wanderer asked.

“If they agree to it, then I don't see why not. It can also help you learn and understand them better!” She closed her eyes and smiled.

It gave him a lot to think about... The process of restoring memories from your alternative self wasn't pleasant and could create a feeling of confusion between the memories of your current and alternate self - he of all would know what it felt like. But like Nahida said, he could learn about you and you would actually know the truth instead of only trusting his words, which you were all too inclined to do.

Conveniently, the Traveler was heading to Inazuma in the near future, which saved him the trouble of arranging his own journey. But taking you away from Inazuma was likely going to be an obstacle not easily overcome... The Shogun or even Beelzebub herself would likely protest your departure from the safety of Inazuma City, let alone to a whole nother land! It wasn't much but Buer wrote a letter to help convince you and the Shogun.

Most importantly, he wasn't yet sure if you wanted to go through the process of restoring memories that didn't exist with your current self. He would only find out once he spoke with you - so back to Inazuma it was. This time he would also have to introduce you to the Traveler and their flying pest, but it was nothing compared to having to having to possibly meet and talk with the Shogun. While he didn't like relying on other people when not necessary... The Traveler was quite "close" with Beelzebub and would be a useful asset in convincing her.

He had learned from his last attempt and decided to head straight to the same place he had found you last time - and to his surprise you were there. Standing under a sakura tree you collected any fallen blossoms and gazed at the sky while eating some snacks stashed in a basket next to you. Your guards weren't the same one's as before, which was to be expected, but it only annoyed him as they stood in his way protectively.

“It's me.” He called out to you.

You immediately perked up and turned your gaze towards him. A bright and genuine smile graced your features as you hurried up to greet him, your snacks long forgotten. You dusted off your clothing the best you could on your way, but stray sakura leaves still remained in your silky hair and on your fine traditional clothing, which he had come to identify you by.

“Welcome back! I'm glad you're here.” You smiled brightly.

Your gaze moved to the unique pair standing and floating behind him, both whom looked beyond surprised and confused as you waved at them sweetly. If only you knew the millions of questions marks flooding their heads from him knowing someone clearly not from the Fatui and that knew him! The Traveler even pinched themselves to see if they were just dreaming! They waved back before turning to the Wanderer - ready to ask their millions of questions.

“Uh, you have friends?” Paimon squeaked.

If looks could kill Paimon would no longer exist! “We're not friends. It's... complicated.”

The Traveler decided to wisely remain silent as the Wanderer turned back to face you, “We have a lot to talk about.”

The Traveler and Paimon stayed back to give you space as Wanderer explained everything to you. You were slightly hesitant about the whole procedure, but the fact that he went through it himself and that the Archon of Knowledge was the one to do it helpped comfort - in the end you agreed. Perhaps it was more for him than you, but if he thought it was for the best then you would trust him.

You decided to leave him completely out of negotiating with the Shogun and Ei, it would be for the best if the request was simply coming from the Traveler and Buer - both whom Ei trusted and respected. It was as easy as pulling teeth, but she relented in the end and allowed you to be gone for a week, including travel time.

Setting a foot outside of Inazuma City was exiting on it's own, but boarding a real ship and sailing the seas was like entering a whole new world! You had lived for eons without experiencing outside life and had never truly understood how vast the world was before this moment. You had missed so much by simply allowing yourself to be contained inside a single city... Even if you got incredibly sea sick during the journey, it was worth it!

Inazuma was an incredible place and everywhere you turned you were mesmerized by it's beauty, but Sumeru blew you away with how green and filled with life it was! Every blade of grass and tree had you in awe as you exitedly pointed them out to your traveling companions - to them it was nothing new but they didn't have the heart to crush your excitement and simply smiled or nodded in acknowledgement.

Tenshukaku was the embodiment of the Raiden Shogun's power and might, it was intimidating to be frank. While the Sanctuary of Surasthana was light, beautiful and divine. It fit everything you had expected from the god of wisdom, yet it was so much more! You were also quite surprised by it's creator... While Buer was clearly a god and much wiser than most if not all beings, you were still shocked by her young age and small stature.

“I hope you were told this before hand, but if not let me make things clear. We will have to go through most of your memories in search of your first encounter - the reason for this is due to your long life span and thus many memories. I can't fully control what you'll see so prepare yourself to face memories you would possibly hope to forget...” Nahida calmly, but firmly explained.

“This is your last chance to change your mind, no one will judge you for it.” She smiled kindly.

“I've come this far. I'm prepared!” You reassured her.

“Okay. Then reasy yourselves, we'll begin immediately.” She extended her hand and you soon lost consiounse.

You woke up next to Wanderer in a room all too familiar to you, you stood up and slowly walked into the memory inside Tenshukaku. The large room appeared darker than it was in reality and your surroundings had a strange blue tint to them. In front of you stood your past self next to the Shogun - your face was down facing the floor as the puppet coldy stared down at you with her sharp eyes. The room was altered by your feelings towards the memory it seemed.

“But aren't I a failure then? I shouldn't really exist?” Your past self asked weakly.

“Yes. But the one within sees worth in you, so you shall live.” The Shogun stated.

“...” You said nothing.

You looked sadly at your younger self as they tried their best to not burst in tears before the intimidating Shogun, they didn't have the courage to face her. You longed to reach out and hold them in your arms while reassuring them that Ei truly cared about you, but couldn't or didn't know how to show it yet. But it was the past and the past could never truly be changed...

Wanderer stood silently beside you as he observed the memory closely - when Nahida mentioned memories you would possibly wish to forget he had expected something possibly embarrassing. But not this... This memory was clearly a painful memory both your current and alternate self had experienced. He too wished to reassure you somehow. Not your younger self, but the one standing beside him right now, but he was never good at that...

“I'm sorry you had to witness that... I'll do my best to locate the right memories and avoid these one's.” Nahida's voice echoed.

“It's okay, they don't hurt as much anymore.” You weakly smiled.

“We should continue.” Wanderer slightly urged you.

You nodded in agreement and continued to walk past this memory to the doors of Tenshukaku. Opening the doors lead to an even darker room with barely any furniture or items inside it, despite it's largeness. On the floor was your past self with your back against the wall and knees against your chest as you sniffled quietly and alone.

“I'm so alone... But she will soon wish to see me, right?” You hopelessly asked, before the hopefulness left your face. “I think I was just made to be alone, because I'm a failure...”

The Wanderer was in pure shock from the revelation of your memories. He had hated and envied you for so long, yet you too were alone and abandoned by your creator - left alone in the dark to collect dust. Your situations were not so different in the end, the similarity made him feel more close to you. He could actually relate to another being, though tragic it was comforting to know he alone hadn't suffered at the hand of Beelzebub. Never would he have expected this to be true if he hadn't witnessed it himself and the more he looked at your past self, the more he could see his own past self in you...

“Are you okay?” You asked him.

“I'm fine... Are you?” He hesitantly asked.

“I'm okay.” You nodded.

This time behind the door was blinding white light that caused you to shield your eyes as you aimlessly made it through. You opened them to see the Grand Narukami Shrine - but even it looked lifeless and colorless, despite being the Sacred Sakura being in full bloom with the sun shining brightly. Your past self sat at the stairs where you had first met and by your side was Yae Miko herself. She patted your back as you sobbed your eyes out, but she didn't look to care all that much...

“Why did she keep me if she doesn't want me...” You sobbed.

“She already made that mistake once, and she refused my advice twice.” The kitsune replied.

To the Wanderer it almost sounded like Beelzebub regretted casting him aside... He hoped she did. He sincerely hoped she regretted it every single minute of her existance and lost sleep over her "mistake". But another part of him believed she didn't deserve to regret something like throwing away her own creation. If she believed him too weak, then wasn't what she did essentially throwing him to the wolves? She would never understand the full scale of what her decision caused him to go through.

You on the other hand, had all but forgotten these memories. They weren't pleasant and didn't represent the present where both Miko, Ei and even the Shogun very much loved and cared about you. It took some time for Miko to be able to view you as anything but trouble, but she was the one to mostly keep you company during the Vision Hunt Decree as Ei isolated herself and refused to see all, even you or her. She was a part of your family and you loved her as much as your creator.

In the beginning Ei only kept you as she didn't wish to repeat history and you reminded her of Makoto in some ways... But she grew to love you as a person - your similarity to her sister was just a nice quality, but you were not her and she recognized that. While the Shogun's main priority was Inazuma and it's Eternity, she did grow to be protective of you due to Ei, as she was modelled after her. But the Shogun would still sacrifice you if it meant upholding Inazuma's Eternity.

“You always manage to surprise me somehow.” Wanderer said as he looked at your past self.

“How so?” You asked.

“I used to imagine what it would have been like if she didn't discard me so easily, how we could have been a family. You had everything I wanted, but you still got treated like I did.” He scoffed.

“We have lived very different lives and while mine was difficult, it wasn't always like this. I got the love we both deserved from the beginning at the end.” You sadly smiled.

“...” He didn't know how to respond.

A doorway opened on the trunk of the Sacred Sakura, entering it lead you to a memory you cherished quite a bit. You arrived on a flowery field with the sun setting in the background as your past self sat with Yae Miko and Ei on a picnic blanket. It was sometime before Ei moved her consiounse to Makoto's sword, but the Shogun very much existed. Your conversation was loud, but you couldn't hear a word said because it wasn't important. What was important was that they were both there with you, laughing and eating, having a good time as a family...

You continued to stare at the scenery before turning to look at the Wanderer. He stared at the scene longingly, you weren't entirely sure if it was because of Ei or something else, but you couldn't blame him for either. This memory was one of your most precious ones and you're glad it didn't dissapear or change despite him essentially trying to rewriting history. Somethings just remained Eternal...

“Perhaps one day... We could do this together?” You gently asked.

The Wanderer turned towards you with soft look of surprise. If only you knew how much a suggestion like this meant to him... He was far from ready to forgive Beelzebub, perhaps he never would be - but you were not her. You were someone he could possibly trust, someone he wanted to trust. Someone he wanted to form a connection with and have a relationship with.

“One day.” He quietly replied.

You smiled brightly before carefully moving your hand towards him for him to hold, and he did. His hands were rough and worn from the harsh years he had lived through, you could see some scars here and there. While neither of you emitted body heat, it felt nice to hold onto his hand - comforting even.

It didn't take long after that to arrive at the right memory. It wasn't familiar to you, but somehow you felt like you had always known it to be true. Kind of like a missing piece was returned to where it belonged and despite the hand you were holding being one that almost took your life then - you didn't let go. If anything you held on tighter. You weren't afraid of him and you didn't want to be, you told him so and you forgave him.

The hatred in his past selves eyes was pure, but even yiu could tell it wasn't meant for you. Like the old saying goes, the eyes are the window to one's soul. All you could see in his was a deep longing and centuries of pain and resentment. That is why when he relented his hold and let go of you, you had asked if he was okay.

You walked towards your alternative self, and they turned to look at you with a confused look. You held out your hand and they took it with little hesitation, you merged as one and you were now whole. With your memories restored you soon awoke on the floor of the Sanctuary beside Wanderer, you were still holding his hand. This journey was one that had strengthened your ever growing bond and there was no going back.

“Welcome back! I trust your journey was worth while?” Nahida happily asked.

Wanderer turned to look at you briefly before answering, “Yes.”

“Hehe, I'm glad! I think it's for the best to let you discuss everything together, but if you have any questions - I'll be happy to answer them!” The small Archon left you alone with the Traveler by her side.

The remainder of your visit in Sumeru was spent by going to every restaurant or street vendor that sold food - you wanted to try everything! Inazuma had plenty of delicious foods but nothing compared to the rich taste of Sumeru's cuisine! The Traveler and Paimon were more than happy to cook you some of Liyue's and Mondstadt's specialties aswell! Even Wanderer was convinced to try some of them and he didn't completely most of them.

But most importantly you got to know Wanderer better. While it wasn't the same as him literally seeing your memories with his own eyes, it was still very special. He allowed his walls to lower by just a little for you to peek over and allowed himself to be vulnerable with you - just a little. You never gave him a reason not to trust you and you never took advantage if this. It was difficult to comprehend you truly had no other intentions but wanting to genuinely understand him.

Unfortunately you were only promised a week and it wasn't all that long in the end. The journey back to Inazuma was eerily quiet as neither of you wished for your time together to end, so you simply refused to acknowledge it right until you couldn't anymore ad you stood before Tenshukaku. You stopped right before the first flight of stairs and simply couldn't bring yourself to move a muscle.

“Something wrong?” Wanderer hesitantly asked.

“No, I just... I'm not sure. I suppose I simply don't wish to say goodbye again. It's selfish, I know.” You chuckled.

“...” He remained silent.

“I'm sorry.” You muttered before taking your first step, but you were quickly stopped by someone grabbing your arm.

Startled you turned back to see it was simply Wanderer... “How about see you later then?”

You took a moment to register his words, but couldn't help the smile growing on your face. “I'd like that very much.”

He reluctantly let go of your arm while nodding, he still refused to meet your eyes. He turned his back on you to leave, but was stopped by you this time. Confused he turned around to look back at you still smiling at him.

“You could always come with me, to meet her.” You suggested, though you could see conflict in his eyes...

A/N: Whoo the last part is finally here! Honestly I never planned to go beyond one part but you guys kept giving me such good ideas that I had to and here we are lol Thank you so much for the request Anon, I loved writing this <3

Tags: @kazuhascumslut

Anyways feel free to like and or reblog if you want <3

[mukuberry]

spill the beans.

ooooooooookey dokey boss, i dont have any pictures of them though :( just some pages in my phone notebook..... I'll do my best to summarise them!! i probably wont ever do any proper ocgram thingy with em so ill just spill their secrets hehe... theres 13/14 so ill put them under a cut!!

001! most of them dont have names yet lol i hate picking names 😔 but he's wonderful.... he's 11 and he's a lil silly ^^ he grew up with a single mother who began dating a very abusive man and then they both started abusing him, so he's extremely distrusting of adults. she got pregnant and he realised he needs to protect his siblings, but knows he cant hope to fight back against his parents, so instead he decides to secretly kill the baby after theyre born to prevent them for suffering. He's done this 3 times! He has alot of angelic imagery since he views himself as a saviour. Uhmmm OH his cover songs are Cosmic Rendezvous-> Psychogram-> Mirai Yo. Im not super happy with the picks tbh so they might change...

002! She's 43 and her first name is Yukino :) no last name yet.... she's based on a Kazui theory i saw when Cat came out that's definitely not true and was talked about in a pretty discriminatory way, so ive decided to steal the idea and make it better. She craves violence/abuse and has a gore kink, but has done her very best to repress those feelings and live a normal life, believing herself to be a monster for having these feelings and thoughts. She definitely has OCD. She has a daughter and had a husband, but abandoned them both after seeing her child do the same things she did as a child when her interest in violence started building, thinking that its her influence that caused it and that her child will be normal without her around. Also because if she's got no one tieing her down, she can maybe indulge in her fantasies instead of living a proper life. Her husband, not being able to handle the abandonment + knowledge that the one he loved was fantasing about him suffering the entire time + not being able to look after a child alone, takes his own life.... im not too happy with the murder tbh i might change it later......... she's great though i love her. Her cover songs are Hibana -> Animal -> Mosquito!

003! No name but he's baby. Actually he's 16 but to me he's baby. The first thing he does in milgram is demand a lawyer and tell the warden his murder was self defence (it wasnt). He forces all the other kids into doing his study club while they're in there... he's very 'proper' yknow. He's kinda like Nervous from the first novel if uve read it, went to middle school and became so anxious with being mistreated by his classmates and the adults that he tried to be perfect... and it worked! Until he entered high school, and there's this one girl in his class who is just slightly better than him..... so he pushes himself more and more, secretly hating her and himself for not being good enough. One day, late at night, she finds him on his own, at a pier. She tries to befriend him, since she's just like him, and wants to help him with his burdens and for them both to drop the perfect act...... unfortunately for her, he (again) hates her and cannot comprehend that someone could see through his act and would still love him, has a slight mental breakdown and beats her to death with debris near by, and dumps her body in the water. He gets to be perfect again yayyyyy ^_^ he's the most developed in terms of milgram routes, but I'll maybe talk about them another time.... his cover songs are Angel Hair-> Antibeat-> Theory Of Negativity

004! Kanae ♡ she's a complete hermit! A childhood schizophrenic (18 now) who was neglected by her family and outcasted at school, she's completely dependent on her psychosis, as it gives her companionship and purpose she doesn't have elsewhere. She's aware that she's schizophrenic, but has no intention of getting better. Upon entering milgram her psychosis has come to a (temporary) stop, so she spends most of her time in the prison with 010, since 10 (Kanami) never shuts up and is fine with Kanae not saying much in return. She can't stand silence. She had a younger sister (10ish?) who she was expected to look after since her parents aren't home much, however considering her mental state she can't really look after a child... so after not being fed in awhile, said child tries to make herself food! Only for Kanae to leave her room for the first time in days and finding her sister dead from accidentally poisoning herself;; oops! Her cover songs are Nocturnal Kids -> Liar Dance -> MKDR

005! Probably my favourite ♡ he's one of 3 explicitly queer characters, canonically being in love with his victim and being trans-coded... not explicitly trans but damn can u read his story as a trans story!! He's 17, popular, pretty, rich, has a loving family, his grades aren't perfect but they're still good, and he's genuinely pretty nice to people... he's living his best life! He doesn't know why he's in milgram, he hasn't killed anyone, he swears! A kid went missing in his class sure, but they weren't close, he knows literally nothing about that! Atleast thats what he says ^_^ teehee.... i wanna keep his murder a secret its more fun that way... he's probably the 3rd most unforgivable person in here :) his cover songs are Cinderella-> Secret Feast-> Ghost Rule

006! Haruki :) a lil shy but really nice! She's 28, but when she tells people they don't believe her since she acts kinda childish... she's also a system! But she thinks she's a spirit medium since she keeps introjecting dead people... her system has 6 alters in total, maybe 7 depending on what happens in the prison... but the story only really focuses on 4/5 of them. She lives in a shitty apartment and mostly lives of the money her grandmother sends because she can't hold a job (she tries her best!), her victim is her closest (and only) friend, they met a few years back at an old job and have been inseparable since.... they spend most of their time together. This friend however has lived a very difficult life and struggles alot with suicidal thoughts, basically only staying alive for her sake. She's learned to not tell people about how she's basically 'possessed by ghosts' after growing up being treated like a freak for it, but watching his mental state get worse and hearing him talk about how he wants everything to stop, she decides to tell him the truth. Both because he's important to her and wants him to know this very personal thing about her, and because it's basically like saying "hey when you die you don't actually stop existing, so you should just stay alive 😁". Unfortunately, he hears this and thinks "wow if i die i get to be a part of my favourite person 24/7???? hell yeah" so he convinces her to help him kill himself ^^ she refuses at first, but eventually gives in and watches him get hit by a train. And thus, she gains another alter...... her cover songs are Two Breaths Walking -> Zombies -> Undead Alice!

007! He's a bastard. He's sarcastic, blunt, rude and thinks everything sucks forever. He's 24. He's also based on a kazui theory! Mine from t1 thats definitely no longer canon... so ive taken it and made it much worse!! But from an outsiders POV it looks more like fuuta's story, with it being centred on toxic online groups,, he lived a very normal and good life! He was popular in school, graduated with top marks, went to a good college, graduated, went to a good uni, graduated, got into a good job, got a girlfriend- and surely he'll marry her and have kids and move into a big house and watch his kids grow up and die. That's what he's been told to do, that's what everyone does! Except for some reason he can't comprend, he feels completely dead inside. Theres a ball of dread in his chest and its building everyday until he can't ignore it. Everything feels empty and numb outside of this feeling. So he looks for answers, and while he doesn't find any, what he does find is a group of people on social media who feel exactly like he does. They don't try to lie and say everything's fine and that he needs to just power through, everything sucks and they're the only ones admitting it. They don't encourage eachother to get better, they help eachother get worse, because life is terrible so why shouldn't you just do what you want? And 007 gets sucked in completely. He quits his job, cuts off his girlfriend and friends, and moves back in with his parents, to their dismay. That was 6ish months ago. He's obsessed with social media and will do anything to feel alive in this terrible world. So, of course, when one of his online friends tells him she wants to die, why wouldn't he wish her luck? Life is terrible, he's kinda jealous that she can actually do it while he can't. And then he wakes up in the milgram prison ^_^ his cover songs are Chimera-> Otome Dissection-> Rabbit Hole!

008! She's even worse ♡ actually when writing this i kinda had a better idea for her story, but since its just came to my head I'll have to think on it a lil more.... uhm for now though she's 32 and also thinks life sucks but she's (kinda) over it now. She's used to being at the bottom of society but takes out her feelings by looking down on people even lower than her. Until i figure her out more thats all i can say TT her cover songs are Psuedo-hope Syndrome -> Delusion Tax -> Mono Poisoner!

009! Taisei Furukawa... he's the second one i made so he has a full name yay :] he's my second canonically queer character, he's gay and has had one boyfriend basically his entire life! They met as kids in the same elementary school, his bf came from a very shitty family and Taisei was the first person to treat him kindly and stick by his side no matter what. Unfortunately, his boyfriend kinda sucks, and is lowkey highkey abusive, isolating Taisei from everyone so they both only have eachother. Taisei only realises just how much his boyfriend had ruined his life at 25, and he's pissed ^_^ he knows he can't just break up with him, his boyfriend definitely won't let that happen, and he has no one to turn to for help. So the logical thing here to do is to turn the tables on his bf and try to convince him into a double suicide. Taisei doesn't have much desire to live after being worn down for so long, and he needs to make sure his bf won't just find and abuse someone else once he's gone, so a double suicide is the best option. Sure, he could do a murder homocide, but after how long he's suffered, he kinda wants his bf to feel how he feels... and it works :) the both jump of their apartment building, his boyfriend dies and Taisei wakes up in the milgram jail with a fucked up leg, needing crutches to walk. He's kinda antisocial and grumpy in t1 for understandable reasons (though he helps the kids with the study group at times), but if he's forgiven he becomes alot warmer and friendlier :) there's alot of art symbolism in his story... his cover songs are Turret Of Justice-> 118-> Shinkai Summit!

010! Kanami Shimizu!!!!!!!!! The girlie ever!!!! And the 3rd and final canonically queer character, she's a trans lesbian. She's 23 and so full of life and love and she's so so kind and energetic and kinda annoying but she's just so happy to be in jail with everyone!!!!!!!! She's the first one i made... however i kinda scrapped her murder awhile back since i didn't like it, but i don't have a new one yet :( but whatever her murder is, her personality and ideals remain the same! She's been hurt alot in life, and when she looks around she realises that everyone is the same. She can't live in the real world, it'd crush her, she knows this, so she wants to make a paradise where everyone can be happy forever... and milgram is the perfect place for it!!! So you have to forgive everyone for her ok ^_^ if you don't she won't forgive you. She won't let you ruin this for everyone. Her cover songs are Home -> Please Show Me -> Hedgehog!!

011.... doesn't exist!!! Not anymore i killed him sorry. I didn't like his story that much, but I'm too commited to following the og milgrams male/female prisoner pairings to just leave it at 11 prisoners, so I'll just wait for a new guy to appear in my mind.........................

012! She's 12! No name! My most recent one (except for the former 011 rest in peace). She's being a nuisance for everyone in the prison, she has alot of rage and she will make sure everyone hears it!!!!! She's friends with 001 and she tolerates Taisei but everyone else is her enemy and she WILL fight them if they cross her, which would be scary if she wasn't like 5ft. Her murder is just teenage rebellion went a lil too far........ she doesn't fit in at her new school and acts out, but all the adults in her life don't really get involved, just saying it's a phase she'll grow out of. This only makes her act out more, and more, and more, until it gets out of hand and someone dies. She didn't want any of that to happen, but in milgram she insists she's happy about it and is very very evil and scary so you should listen to her before she kills you as well. She has alot of animal (specifically bear) imagery :) her cover songs are Parasite -> Aitai-lians -> Lonely Shit!

The warden! Our beloved Es he's such a loser. He enters the prison not really taking any of this seriously, and does his best to be as annoying as possible to everyone, he's convinced he's the biggest freak here and he will prove it. Unfortunately for him he is definitely not the biggest freak here and by the start of the second trial he's learned this the hard way. He's an efficient warden despite everything, knowing what to say to rile the prisoners up so they spill information, however he quickly starts losing control of everything and it's kinda pitiful....... his cover song is Salamander!

Jackalope! She fucking hates the warden ^_^ she's secretly a lil fond of him but she'd never admit it. She's very no-nonsense and constantly lectures him to do his job properly, and usually ends up cleaning up after him.... she's not a very good Jackalope, she gets attached to everyone too easily, even if she pretends to be aloof. Jackas dont have cover songs, very very sad....

Mmmmmmmm thats everything!! That was alot more than i thought i wont blame u if u dont read everything.... was fun to infodump about though, thanks for asking lol. Im gonna screenshot everything i just wrote incase tumblr eats it like it did last time,,

[zevzevarainai]

your ask made me realize......i don't know any of your ocs (outside of RPG protags). tell me about them please? 👀

ok i'm putting this under a read more because it's slightly embarrassing but not enough for me to not post it. i am also insecure about my drawerings. i'm working on it.

Ok so the only actual original ocs i have are revamped versions of ocs i had based off of toys when i was like 11. yeah... i'm owning it.... quarantine was a time for all of us. i used to have dnd ocs as i wrote my own campaign but they've been abandoned as a result of a messy falling out.

anyway these were like a branch off of a game my sister and our friends used to play when i was like 6 like a 2nd generation type of deal though that's only relevant for one oc. the premise is basically i had toy dragons when i was a kid and i was like "yeah they can shapeshift into humans" because that's the coolest shit when your 12. And when you're in your twenties and mentally ill you make it Serious.

so now it's like a humans hunted dragons so they didn't really come out of hiding but society is a'changing... there aren't a lot of not-shapeshifting dragons left.

it's not very thought out but dragon hybrids as i call them until i think of a better name (i won't) are split into 3 groups of views -

1) coexistence (main guys are here) 2) resent humans, either cannot shift or are ashamed of their human form. They either hide from humans or, if they have the means to, attack humans. They value pureblood dragons and strength. Because of this, they abandon runts and outcast shifters with a human parent. 

3) believe in coexisting with humans, but believe their ability to command two forms puts them above non-shifters, so they should be ruling over them. Some humans agree and have devoted themselves to serving these shifters.

Also these guys go by 2nd names because humans can't pronounce the guttural dragon language sounds (this is my explanation for my less than creative naming system at 12). I also made like physical logistics for their human appearance but we don't need to get into that rn

this is Dramill [dray-mill] (he/him) which child Carly made up as a combination of Draco + Windmill (the toy had a tail that has a webbed bit, looks like a windmill thing, whatever). He is a water dragon (fresh water variant). His bio-family hates humans, he ran away as a teenager and accidentally became a leadership figure for coexistence after finding his found family during his run-away-teen-travels.

He discovered healing powers for water-elemental dragons, he is basically green Katara, except Dramill sacrifices his energy to heal the person. Minor injuries don’t take much out of him. The worse the injury, the harder it is on him. If rushed, it is harder on him.

The first two members of Dramill's found family are Flame (left, she/her) and Smokey (right, he/him). They are twins and both raging homosexuals. If you couldn't guess, they are fire elemental dragons. Dramill found them after their mother was killed by humans and they were attacked a few weeks later.

Flame: Cold exterior, aloof, nonchalant nature, but has a good heart underneath. Too cool for you. Has tattoo sleeves on both arms, nose stud on the right nostril to match her twin's, undercut on the right side.

Smokey: Sarcastic, covers feelings with humor. Has several piercings: multiple ear piercings, double eyebrow piercing on the right side, nose stud on left nostril, nipple piercings, and a stud tongue piercing. All gold colored.

Last two members of Dramill's found family are Frost (left, he/him) and Iceberg (right, any pronouns). Biological siblings and, you guessed it, ice dragons. Iceberg was abandoned by their parents for being a runt; Frost followed his father on a hunch and refused to abandon Iceberg, so he was also disowned. Frost took care of Iceberg on his own until Dramill, Flame, and Smokey found them.

Frost: somewhat introverted and slow to trust others. Fiercely loyal and protective.

Iceberg: Not very good at fighting, doesn't particularly enjoy doing it. Has a lot of confidence interacting with humans.

Okay our first human this is the one i was talking about who is the daughter of Baby's First OC and her preexisting character husband. If you can figure out who the preexisting character is I might have to delete my blog. This is Mary (she/her) she is the daughter of a big name CEO and is set to inherit the company. Mary is confident and smart, which she has to be as she's somewhat famous. She stumbled across Dramill squatting in the forest that technically belongs to her father and eventually befriends the whole squad. She uses her influence to promote coexistence between dragons and humans.

And yeah, Frost is her love interest, this ship has been canon for like 15 years and now it's actually thought out dynamic wise

Next is Chadsworth (right, he/him) who was made as a joke character for 12 year old me but now actually has character traits. Early on his whole deal was he had a massive one-sided crush on Mary and was like obsessed with her. That still kind of happened but he was like 13 and is ashamed about it.

He grew up very poor and later entered the foster program. It was Not Great and he ran away, briefly living on the streets until he befriended a girl who was taking culinary lessons from a woman with fairly-successful catering company. The woman let him stay and he was very helpful with cleaning and chores; when he got a little older she paid him so now he cleans for a living. Chadsworth met Mary when she and her mom were picking up and order. They became friends, but Chadsworth soon developed an unhealthy crush on her-- that was less a crush and more idolization and envy of her life, but he wouldn't unpack this for several years. Frost fuckin' hates him because of this. Chadsworth later apologized to her and Frost but it doesn't matter Frost despises him.

As the picture gives away his love interest is Smokey which is a more recent development (thanks, the sims)

Last one this is JunTae (they/them) who was not in the childhood toys and made semi-recently. I was messing around in the sims... They weren't made to be Dramill's love interest but stumbled into that role. They are a shadow dragon from the forests around Korea (hence the name) who was born into a clan that hates humans. They didn't know any other way until their clan was fighting Dramill and them and Frost beat them up almost real bad until Dramill stopped him; Dramill healed them and they saw their found family dynamic and was like ??? They're like you know if you want to leave like look us up we'll help you, think about it, and eventually they did. Iceberg picked out the name JunTae

JunTae used to be scared of humans and is now curious to learn but still cautious. Good friends with Dramill and Iceberg. Self-conscious and anxious but wants to help. Calls Dramill "Millie" and is the only one allowed to (because Dramill's got a big fat crush on them)

[sweetnxthngs]

[ may calamawy, non-binary, they/she] — whoa!  IMAAN EL-SALEM  just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for TEN YEARS, working as a/an OWNER OF BROWNSTONE BOOKS  that can’t be easy, especially at only 38 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit SHY and FANCIFUL , but i know them to be WARMHEARTED and ARTICULATE. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! —character parallels: rory gilmore, monica gellar, lexie grey.

wanted connections • pinterest

BASICS

FULL NAME: Imaan El-Salem

NICKNAME(S): none, doesn't love nicknames.

AGE: 38

DATE OF BIRTH: February 14th, 1986

CURRENT LOCATION: Queens, New York City.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Bahrain

ETHNICITY: Egyptian, Palestinian.

GENDER: Non-binary

PRONOUNS: they/she

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

RELIGION: Raised Muslim, does not follow organized religion perfectly by any means, but does believe in God and has faith.

LANGUAGES: arabic, english.

OCCUPATION:  owner of brownstone books.

FACECLAIM: May Calamawy

PHYSICAL TRAITS

HEIGHT: 5’7

WEIGHT: 115 lbs

HAIR COLOR: Brown

EYE COLOR: Brown

PIERCINGS: one lobe piercing in each ear, and an industrial piercing in the right ear.

TATTOOS:  here

SCARS|MARKS: freckles across her nose and cheeks,

SIGNATURE SCENT: Maison Margiela Replica Springtime in the Park.

PHOBIAS AND DISEASES

MENTAL ILLNESSES:  social anxiety.

PHYSICAL ILLNESSES:

PHOBIAS: 

RELATIONSHIPS

MOTHER:  Nashwa El-Salem ( Badawi) (deceased)

FATHER:  Omar El-Salem

CHILDREN: none

SIBLINGS: Laila El-Salem (younger half-sister)

RELATIONSHIPS:  coming soon

 PETS:  a black cat lovingly named sush, short for sushi.

PERSONALITY

ZODIAC SIGN:  Aquarius.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good.

FAVORITE FOODS: sushi, watermelon, mint and feta salad, garlic noodles with chili crunch, mutabal, french fries drenched in ketchup and mayo, shakshouka.

FAVORITE COLOR: lavender and pink

LIKES: the smell of the air just after it rains, and the color of the sky and it's orange-pink hue then, too, when svu or criminal minds marathons are on, the feeling of having a crush. romance books.

DISLIKES: anything above 70 degrees Fahrenheit, washing the dishes by hand,

HOBBIES:  as of recently, ballet classes just to get some movement in and they like the fluidness of it, reading fanfiction when they should be working, baking their feelings away, and self-defense classes.

BIOGRAPHY

tw death, tw religion, tw childbirth.

PAST.

BAHRAIN, February 1986.

It's February, but it's the Middle East in the 80s, so the weather is likened to the decade. Nashwa is in a hospital and still, sweating profusely. She's unsure if it's the weather or the pressures of childbirth. She is freshly married, and this is her first baby, when a screaming little girl comes out, Imaan, is placed into her arms she cries along with her. She barely gets to hold her though before the beeping of a machine rings in her ears and before she can even meet her daughter, to know her, Nashwa El-Salem is pronounced dead, complications in birth.

Omar, her father, has no idea what to do with a newborn daughter, and with his job, he doesn't really have the time to raise her alone, that's when originally, her jadda stepped in, helping raise the young child until she was of school age, and then, there was pressure for her father to remarry, to find someone to run the home while he worked. By the time young Imaan is seven, Omar is remarried, and expecting another child.

Their stepmother isn't from here, the States, actually, here as an expat, working for the embassy, and their little sister Laila looks more like her than their father. Imaan is barely eight but she knows that things have shifted.

They go back and forth from Bahrain to Washington often enough, two homes, and to Imaan, it feels like two families. Her father and herself, and then him and his wife and Laila. There is a passing comment about how she can't let go of a mother she never knew, and as Imaan gets older, they know that's true.

by the time Imaan is seventeen, laila is 10, and they are fully moved to Washington, leaving Bahrain, and everything Imaan has ever really known behind. They finish their last year of school in the States, and it is so different Imaan feels out of place, and alone. She tries to fit in, and tries to be the perfect daughter at the same time, but those two don't align. Raised strict Muslim, Imaan is used to a set of rules, and the western high school system is mostly not set up for them, especially in 2005. Her connection to her home and her faith gets lost somewhere along the way, more fights with her father about his expectations, about his wife and his other daughter, about how she will never be good enough. He calls her disrespectful and a disappointment, and she tells him she applied for college in Scotland far away from him, and the look on his face tells her she's gone too far, but the plans have already been set in motion.

The University of Edinburgh is a dream and an awakening. Imaan is still shy, an introvert one would say, but also more willing to explore who they are. Kissing a girl for the first time is like a rebirth, trying cigarettes, alcohol, and even drugs feel like things that make her stray from the staunch religious upbringing she had, and yet, the lack of restraints feels good.

By the time she graduates with a degree in English, she knows she is different, and she's not sure how much her family will like that.

She moves back home for a while and works in a library as an assistant, and the freedom college abroad brought her dwindles, it's back to dad's rules. her sister is just sixteen, and while they were never close, their relationship is not bad, but Imaan finds there isn't much they have in common. Her sister likes concerts, has a large circle of friends, and spends her time trying new makeup techniques, and that's all fine, except Imaan can't relate to it, as someone who finds their enjoyment in reading the newest romance boo release, or

She moves around a bit after two years at home, does two years in California, and two more in Chicago before moving with their roommate to New York. It's closer to home but totally different all the same, and it actually feels right. Unlike all the other cities. They get a job in a bookstore and share a two-bedroom with their roommate in Queens and life is okay, though not perfect.

PRESENT

Imaan brought Brownstone Books off the owner, who they worked for 8 years before she decided it was time to retire, and with a very small loan and the kindness of someone who took them in, they owned the place. It felt daunting, but the bookstore's popularity helped make the transition easier.

In those ten years since moving to New York, Imaan found that what was missing in her life was some sort of faith, and found a way to embrace spirituality and their sense of self, a sometimes uneven, but more comfortable balance. They got cat and name it sush, and they still live in a two-bedroom, though their roommate moved out recently to live with her boyfriend, so they're on the hunt. They love to bake, spending the time not in the bookstore either doing that or reading (books, or fanfiction, thank you). They don't see their family often, though her sister is 31 now, and has visited a few times.

wanted connections found here.

[vishnavishivaa]

Chapter 1: Starting Fresh (Sambandham: War of Hearts)

Three and a half years later, London

She had done it!

Kshithija had gotten her PhD in psychology, and a license to practice in both the United Kingdom and India, a dream come true for her. She did already have some clients in London, with whom she will be meeting online. At first, she had looked for good spaces across London, wanting to settle there itself, choosing to visit India as often as possible. However, the ill health of her Periappa, who had, along with her Periamma, helped raise her with her dear mother.

Having lost her father at a young age, Kshithija's biggest father figure was her uncle, who did genuinely treat her as his own daughter. She did miss the antics of her brothers and cousins though, and did not want to miss much anymore. Added to that, her dearest cousin Nila had lost her heart to Aditya Vishvanathan, or rather, had finally admitted her feelings to Kshithija, though not to Aditya yet.

The thought of the Vishvanathan family brought with it the trauma Kshithija was slowly healing from, trauma that had not completely gone away. As a psychologist, she knew that healing was not a linear process, but her love for Arun, for the whole family, in fact, had not died down. She doubted it would go away easily, but she had made her peace with him never returning her feelings.

That was the only reason she had agreed to Nila's request that Kshithija meet Iramathi Vishvanathan, the eldest girl in the family. She was well aware of the crush her younger brother Kumaran had on Paavai, the youngest of the five siblings of the family. For their sake at least, Kshithija had to try being friendly with the family once more. She had fought with even Iramathi before she left, and Ira herself had not reached out.

Nila had told Kshithija that, however, Ira was missing the latter, which Kshithija believed. Mostly, at least. Well, nothing like bad experiences to make one bitter, she thought to herself mockingly, scoffing, when her phone suddenly rang loudly, and Kshithija peered at the screen, smiling fondly.

"Nila Akka!" she greeted her elder cousin when she picked it up, her voice finally sounding like bells, a sound that had only recently become more frequent.

"Thiju! Your voice sounds like joy," Nila responded warmly.

"I love you too, Akka. But, what is it, Akka?" Kshithija knew the tonal changes in Nila's voice better than she knew herself.

"Ira wants to talk to you," Nila sighed. It was clear that Nila's barriers of cold politeness was slowly breaking, thanks to her accepting her feelings for Aditya, who had apparently changed over the past three years.

"Why?"

It was sad that Kshithija wanted to know why rather than rejoice that someone from a family she once wished to marry into wanted to talk to her. Additionally, Ira and Lokeshvari, the sister of Deva had been her best friends once upon a time. She missed them, but their closeness with Arun would never have allowed her to heal. She had to put her mental health and heart first.

Not to mention the insane dreams that had started coming to her as she started her PhD, a journey all on its own, giving her proof of things that most would say is fantastical, but things her heart knew was the truth, after three long years of such dreams. It helped that Akshari, one of her best friends, helped confirm Kshithija's theories with her own complimenting ones.

Akshari was one of the few Kshithija had opened up to, Arjun, the third in their trio another one. The latter was one of the few men Kshithija would call her friend, maybe even male best friend. Deva had once been that, but he chose Arun over her.

As expected.

"She genuinely misses you. She and Loka called me in tears almost, Thiju," Nila sighed. "Apparently, the whole family misses you."

"Huh."

Kshithija could not help the scoff that escaped her. As if everyone in the family would miss her. She doubted either of the two brothers, the heartthrob duo of Aditya and Arun would miss her.

"Thiju, I am serious. Arun texted me asking after you."

That caused her to freeze. Arun? Asking after her? She peered at the sky, making sure it had not turned pink, before responding, "But the sky has not turned pink, Akka."

The huff of laughter from Nila told Kshithija that she had hit the mark of amusing her cousin with her now trademark sarcasm. Akshari was to be blamed, Kshithija would teasingly say, though the truth that the latter was the reason Akshari sassed even more was well known in their close circle. Kshithija had become the reason for Akshari to gain more confidence in herself, which delighted the former to no end.

"Thiju, make nice with them, okay? Arun wants to collaborate with Velan industries," sighed Nila once more, to which Kshithija replied, "He wants to collaborate with Anna?"

"He knows brilliance when he sees it."

Kshithija had to accept the truth of Nila's words. Arun's brilliance was well known to those who were as much as his passing acquaintances, let alone to the woman still in love with him despite her best efforts to move on. Arun scouted fresh talents as well, interested, driven individuals who were forthcoming about their passions. That was one of the biggest things that had attracted her to him in the first place.

"I will make nice, Akka. I will not allow the past to come in the way of the future," Kshithija said truthfully, though she had not expected the Vishvanathan family to get so involved with hers once more, despite knowing her sister very much had feelings for Nila. The latter, in fact, had refused to act on it so far, for she was unhappy with how Kshithija had been treated. It had taken Kshithija's convincing Nila that she would be delighted that allowed Nila to be more friendly as before with the younger generation of the family.

"And Arun?"

"And I will be friendly enough with Arun," Ksithija promised, both her sister and herself, though internally she also told herself to not let her still present love for him burgeon out, and to be strong in the face of it. She and Nila continued to talk, making further plans for both their careers, hanging up some time later.

Kshithija sighed, falling into her couch and curling against it, her legs now tucked up in a padmasana position. She closed her eyes, revisiting her dreams once more, knowing that without partially resolving them within, meeting Arun would become a tension filled situation.

********

We have a more reserved Kshithija now, who still is in love but is also healing from the heart break. Who knows that without healing from her previous heart break, she can never be complete friends with the one she is in love with.

Next week, we will see Arun's point of view, and his feelings regarding everything.

@thelekhikawrites @nspwriteups @whippersnappersbookworm @ragkee @chemicalmindedlotus @dr-scribbler @willkatfanfromasia @balladedutempsjadis @freeunknownwasteland @ramcharanobsessed @gemmusings @vijayasena @thirst4light @hollogramhallucination @chiyaanvikram @moon-880 @sakhiiii @thereader-radhika @ambidextrousarcher @celestesinsight @yehsahihai @thegleamingmoon @dumdaradumdaradum @rang-lo @ragkee @vijayasena Please let me know your thoughts!

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

ryry will you tell us about the ojv sp parents! or their relationships with the sp boys? like stan ft shelley ( love stan and shell) sharon and rancid ( ik u touched on that one but im nosy ) or like kyle ft. the broflovskis? those dynamics? or how the broflovskis feel abt stan and stan’s parents abt kyle, vice versa? ill also accept star seven fam situations anythin u want go crazy go stupid

( also i love u mwahmwahmwahmwahmwaaaah )

Oh I ABSOLUTELY WILL!!! And I will get WAY too into it!!! Gonna be sticking with the Marshes and Broflovskis this ask, but I’ll get to the rest of the ojv star seven sometime! (This bouta be convoluted tbh)

So starting with my darling Stanathan, Sharon and Randy Jackass Marsh divorced for good when our boy was 12. At this point the only thing Shelley and Stan agreed on was that their parents should NOT be together and when shit was finalized they were both like FUCK YEAH MOM TAKE US OFF THIS FARM!!! And Sharon moved them back into their old house. Randy’s pretty much all over the place and not NEARLY the dad he thinks he is, but the kids still have to spend weekends at the farm a few times a month.

And like a lot of little kids, especially little boys, Stan REALLY looked up to his dad when he was younger. Like that’s his dad, the “cool” parent. But about the time Stan turned 10 and his mental health went through a really bad spot, he started to see the world a LOT less idealistically and ESPECIALLY started seeing the nuance of the people in his life. A lot of people are selfish. And his father is a prime example of that.

That’s not to say OrangeJuiceVerse Randy is truly insidious. He’s not. He just genuinely doesn’t think about anything that doesn’t directly affect him, or acknowledge that his actions can hurt other people. He’s selfish. And a lot of the reason Shelley and Stan had a rocky relationship when they’re young is because she’s four years older than her brother, and she sees their dad for all his bullshit long before Stan does, and a 14 year old Shelley is honestly jealous of that innocence. That, and the general teenage angst, but once they’re on the same page, it’s very “Annoyed Siblings vs Parents Who Need To Get Their Shit Together”. Like Sharon and Randy will be fighting again and they just share that Sibling Look lmao.

That brings me to my queen Sharon. That woman’s highest priority is her kids, always, which is a lot of the reason she gets so exasperated with Randy. Like during Stan’s stint as the poster child football star of South Park, well after the divorce, she is calling him up like “REALLY RANDY?!? You’ll use our boy to promote your weed business but can’t be bothered to come to a single game?!?” She and Sheila have also been essentially second mothers to their sons sbfs forever, and the families have been fused for style’s entire lives.

Also, Stan is a total mamas boy. Both his own and Kyle’s. He has been known to call his mother ‘dude’ because he calls everyone that and he’s very “yes ma’am” with Sheila most of the time but they’re so close that once he called HER dude and she wasn’t even phased she just likes that Stan likes her enough to feel comfortable like that lmfao. He and Sheila tag team being overly concerned about Kyle and they totally gang up on him when he’s not taking care of himself.

With Stan and Gerald, it’s a really casual thing. Like they’re mostly chill towards each other. Unless Gerald is around Randy, in which case Gerald’s dumbass tendencies come out full force, because Gerald’s kind of an idiot but he’s pretty harmless other than some minor cyber bullying and Randy Shenanigans.

So Ike. Ike and Stan have SO much fun together, especially as they get older, like they’re playing video games together, especially the puzzle games that frustrate Kyle, and when Ike’s in high school he goes to Stan for advice on things he’s too embarrassed to ask his brother about (Stan is not the person to ask for advice) and it’s so funny bc like they’re adults and Kyle will wake up at 3am for water and Stan’s in the office on the GTA RP with Ike and they’re trying to get kicked out of servers by pissing off the mods

Kyle time bois!!! As much as he tries to deny it, he is a LOT like his mother. He can be stubborn and reactive, sometimes preachy, but they’re like that because they just care so damn much about everything and everyone. If there’s an injustice to be found, they’re fighting it. And they’re both incredibly nurturing and passionate about loved ones. But because they’re so much alike, they tend to argue. At the end of the day, though, Kyle loves his mom and she loves him.

His relationship with his father was a little strained in high school. Gerald’s well meaning encouragement to push Kyle to succeed came off as IMPOSSIBLE expectations and the pressure Ky felt was on him was enormous, because Gerald really sucks at communication in a sensitive way. He actually felt a lot of guilt, for a long time, about unintentionally stressing his son out to the point that it got to. Kyle didn’t blame him really, mostly himself for getting so carried away, but he did have to learn to take everything Gerald says with a grain of salt.

Kyle and Ike ayyyyyy! Dude even if Kyle kind of terrorized Ike when he was like 8 because he thought that’s what big brothers were supposed to do, he grows into the best big brother and it’s HILARIOUS when Ike’s in middle school and Kyle’s trying WAY too hard to be cool and friends with him and Ike CONSISTENTLY reads him for absolute filth, makes fun of him for everything he can, and rips on him. He has totally told him that he likes Stan better and Kyle was like “yeah, well so do I!” “no shit, homo!” It’s all in good fun, they really love each other a lot, and if anyone fucks with Ike? They are getting the Kyle Rage Volcano.

Shelleys always been kinda indifferent towards all Stan’s friends unless they’re bothering her, but when Kyle and Stan got together, she gave him the ‘take care of my baby brother’ speech. Over the years they come to know each other pretty well, are even friends, maybe not as close as Stan and Ike, but still.

Kyle and Sharon are lowkey BESTIES dude Kyle is Team Sharon from day one. He adores his mother in law, sits with her at football games, loves gushing over Stan with her, just really enjoys her company. As a kid it’s because her more quiet nature is a break from his own mom, but as he gets older, he is the CAPTAIN of Sharon Defense Squad, because

Kyle does not like Randy. And OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle is someone who truly wants to see the good in everyone, give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Not Randy. Like he was 7 years old witnessing Randy Bullshit and he was like “dude your dads a jackass” and Stan was all “he’s okay” but over the years that exasperation with his best friend’s dad turned into an actual grudge, because how could this deranged man not see the emotional toll he was taking on his own son? Why didn’t he care about Stan? Didn’t he give a shit that he was hurting Kyle’s favorite person in the entire world? And Kyle does NOT try to hide the fact that he hates Randy, out here glaring at him, telling him off when he does something stupid (and it’s scary tbh, like OJV Kyle isn’t very intimidating until he’s mad, then he’s snapping like an angry fox) like bruh Kyle was SCREAMING at Randy kicking him out of the wedding for bringing alcohol to his SOBER SON like an uncaring dick, meanwhile Stan was more upset that his dad bothered a beehive lmfao. Kyle ‘Speak No Evil Take No Shit’ Broflovski, everyone. Randy’s a little scared of him.

That’s what I got, my dearest, THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE THINKING ABT OJV!!!

[storiesofsvu]

Weird ask ig idk

What would the characters from criminal minds greys anatomy specialties be/ who would be friends with who?

not weird at all nonny! we love a good crossover! shout out to @swimmingstudentchaos891 for talking through this with me!

Starting off with some of the one that instantly came to me;

Garcia: She's in dermatology. We all know she doesn't like the ick and gruesome of crime scenes, so she wants to stay away from all the blood and gore of surgery. And the ep when they discover the derm floor? it's all happy and calm and rainbows and sunshine and I just think she would fit in well there!

Spencer: he's nuero. It just makes sense, he's super smart, with his memory would be able to excel in that field. While schizophrenia is a mental illness it's still likely the most linked to neurological and that's gonna be a big motivation there too.

Tara: girl's ortho. Don't ask me why. She just is. She's the one out of all of them I think would love breaking bones the most. She can't help but feel cocky when the big football players come in with dislocated shoulders and they're all manly about it until she's shoving it back into place and they're screaming like babies. She'd also be so soft and so good with kids who come in who fell off the monkey bars or something.

Alex Blake: psych. I think that's pretty self explanatory. she'd excel there, or possibly be the hospital's therapist cause lord knows those dr's need fucking help. lol

Emily: Cardio god. She just has that power and you know she's the cocky, sometimes the god complex comes out. She'd be incredible. (she'd also be the McSteamy of this universe but less of a dick, and with a bigger dick. i don't make the rules)

Hotch: he's gonna be chief, or like, the head of the resident program thing. Something similar to Webber. He just has the upper level authority that people respect.

JJ: pediatrics. She's so good and soft with the tiny humans. If she hadn't fully decided on a specialty it was after having Henry that she realized she wanted to be able to help kids and she's super good with keeping parents calm.

Morgan: Hear me out. He's either an EMT or a nurse. Cause we all need a hot boi nurse in our lives. Or he's the super hot emt that rolls up with ambulances and just knows all the nurses are heart eyed for him. He flashes that cocky grin, sticks around for a coffee, little flirt master.

Rossi: i came up blank, but Lu says optometry so I agree. He's probably just around doing consults and hanging out, not as much surgery anymore. Still a published author but this time medical books, has a plethora of knowledge when the younger dr's are looking for something specific in a medical journal.

Luke: I've put him down for trauma. I think he'd be able to do that really well, his experience in the field, he's quick on his feet, not afraid to improvise kinda thing.

As for who'd be friends with whom and other little headcanons, I don't have much because there's SO many characters on Grey's and it's been a while since i've watched it (this ask literally made me restart s2, so i might have more thoughts as I go through LOL)

-Garcia and Arizona are absolutely gonna be besties. They both love all things fun and pink and adorable.

-Spencer and Lexi are 1000% going to find a bff in each other. They've both kinda grown up the "weird" kid who graduated super early and shit, so they've finally found someone else who's like them and the same age.

-Rossi is going to find himself immediately adopting the Deluca siblings. At first it's just because he hears them arguing in Italian and is able to cut in and calm them down but after he hears about their dad/family dynamics he's just all "nope, i am your papa pasta now"

-Spencer & Meredith are going to have some dark and twisty bonding over their mothers and how trying to help them is honestly exhausting and draining but they're gonna keep doing it and trying to find cures/treatments.

-Rossi and Luke are going to have some form of boding with Teddy and Owen over their various times serving and the trauma/ptsd and shit that comes with that.

There's probably SO much else i could get into but that's all I've got for now. Loved the ask! Love shit like this! thank you nonny!

[aspecwhor3]

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden by Hannah Green; My Thoughts.

A story written from the perspective of a schizophrenic 16-19-year-old, Deborah Blau, in her journey through recovery from her illness and learning how to be part of the world. I loved this book, I found it to be a very hopeful look at mental illness and recovery from these sorts of things. I was a mentally ill teenager not too long ago (I turn 20 in 3 months, excitingly, so I am soon not going to be a teenager anymore) and so I connected to Deborah very closely in her relationships and thoughts. These are my opinions and thoughts on the novel (ended up being quite long, so below the cut!).

Now, I originally wanted The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It was checked out when I visited my library (it still is, annoyingly enough), and the nice lady at the information desk recommended this book instead. I have yet to read The Bell Jar, I still want to, but from what I have heard this is a more hopeful look than that. I am still not in a good mental state, so it was probably for the best I read this novel instead..

The book enters in on Deborah Blau at 16. She has attempted suicide, so her parents have decided to send her to the institution where she spends the entirety of the book. She is very separate from the reader emotionally, no connection can be found between you and her for the majority of the book. She is very separate from her own emotions, so one can't expect to connect yourself to hers when she can't even feel them herself.

The therapist she works with for the entirety of the novel, Dr. Fried, gets a lot of criticism for playing into the "hero therapist" trope, but I don't think she does at all! She is very real with Deborah and does not lie to her about her ability to recover from this. Her bluntness and lack of "sugar coating" or lying in any way helps Deborah in the end. Deborah is very smart and logical, so lying to her and trying to baby her wouldn't work at all. She would respond very badly. So, Dr. Fried's behavior (blunt, unceremonious, just overall very direct and to the point) works in her favor in her work with Deb.

Deborah's parents are a different story. Her mother, Esther Blau is very direct as a person but is also very easily subjected to the will of her father. She speaks about how she valued his opinions over her own husband's, and likely hurt him in this. She needs to please him and prove to him she can be as good as her siblings, who are favored over her. When she had Deborah, she was finally 'important' to her father in the way her siblings were, but not even fully. Deborah was always her grandfather's favorite grandchild, so with Esther having Deborah she was finally important to her father as the mother of his favorite grandchild.

The grandfather reminds me of my own father, he was very hard to please I'll say. His relationship with Deborah is similar to my own with my father. My father was harsh with me but I knew I was his favorite of me and my brothers. He loved his daughters and treated them in this specific way, of being special and important. It was important to behave the way he desired, so we could continue to be special. I have an older sister, which is why I say "we" and "daughters". The relationship Deborah has with her grandfather is similar to my and my sisters with my father. I am pleased to say he passed March of 2023 after a lifelong struggle with alcoholism and other addictions, the man drank himself to death finally.

Deborah's father is interesting, to say the least. He loves his daughter but is hurt by her illness. He sees it as almost a betrayal from her to him. It is hard to read him because I find resentment towards him. He finds himself hurt by the illness which is not Deborah's fault, and finds himself angry at her for her own illness. I can only be appreciative that Esther can limit his ability to talk to Deborah and not let this disappointment and anger affect her recovery. Esther is my favorite of the parents, I dislike Jacob Blau.

Deborah has a younger sister, Suzy Blau, who is pretty upset about being lied to about her older sister's condition and how it is 'taking all the love' from her. I can understand Suzy being upset and almost jealous of her older sister, she is only twelve and cannot fully understand the intricacies of the situation at hand. She loves her sister and her parents regardless though. I do like Suzy.

Deborah meets many characters in the ward, I won't go into detail with them, but if you read the book you'll see the friendships she makes and how this affects her both negatively and positively.

Through Dr. Fried's work and unyielding belief in Deborah, 19-year-old Deborah can get her GED and fully accept the world. The novel ends with the quote, "Full weight," where Deborah is saying her full weight is now in the world. I find it incredibly hopeful, and I enjoy the ending. Deborah Blau is now of the world and has given away her fictional world in her mind (Yr, which I will not go into. It is confusing and is meant to be, you are not meant to understand Yr as Deborah does.) to finally enter the world as herself and be a part of it. The book ends well, I enjoyed it a lot, and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys these types of first-hand accounts of mental illness and recovery.

Rating: 5/5 ★★★★★

Genre: Mad Studies / Mental Illness / Psychology / Fictionalized Memoir

✔ Recommend! ✔

[bruchfest]

dossier   —   Lothar Hofner.

FULL  NAME.     Lothar Maximilian Hofner  MEANING.     Lothar (from Old High German: hlud + heri ‘famous warrior’) Maximilian (from Latin: Maximus ‘the greatest’) Hofner (from German: Huber/Höffner ‘free farmer’)  NICKNAME.     Lo GENDER.     cis male ETHNICITY.     eldian HEIGHT.     180 cm AGE.     23 (854) / 26 (857) ZODIAC.     virgo (hardworking, practical, sensible, loyal) SPOKEN  LANGUAGES.     eldian

physical  characteristics !

HAIR  COLOR.     dark blonde/brown EYE  COLOR.     brown SKIN  TONE.     pale, sun tanned BODY  TYPE.      lean, broad shoulders ACCENT.     upper class VOICE.     gruff but not deep, has an edge to it DOMINANT  HAND.     right hand POSTURE.     likes to lean, often appears closed off or defensive SCARS.   several from childhood scrapes, a healed broken nose TATTOOS.   none MOST  NOTICEABLE  FEATURE(S).  his sullen, piercing stare

childhood !

PLACE  OF  BIRTH.     Mitras, Wall Sina HOMETOWN.     a small farming settlement in northern Wall Sina MANNER  OF  BIRTH.     natural FIRST  WORDS.     “dada” SIBLINGS.     two older brothers PARENTS.     mother : Marion Hofner,  a woman of good social and ecological standing, she decided to make her own match at her debut in Lothar's father. she is kind but of a frail mental disposition after the birth of her second child, and much effort is undertaken to "not upset mother". she spends most of her time gardening and managing the household staff. she willfully remains ignorant of the goings-on outside the family estate. father : Maximilian Hofner, a wealthy land owner 12 years Marion's senior. Mr. Hofner was born into a family of renown, responsible for the production of luxury goods. Many farms and factories in Wall Sina belong to him and will eventually be passed on to his sons. PARENT  INVOLVEMENT.  Lothar was raised largely by nannies and members of the staff as his mother often felt too feeble to deal with him and his father was absent working. this left him with a lot of free time on his hands which he used to terrorize the neighborhood with his friends. he was a particularly unruly child. he maintains that he lacked positive attention and though his parents loved him, he prefers to keep his distance nowadays. especially because of the rift that opened up between them when Lothar married his first wife, Tabitha Forster.

adult  life !

OCCUPATION.    official of the state, formerly working as a farmhand on the Reiss farm/orphanage. before that he was on the path to take over a factory for his father. CURRENT RESIDENCE.  the new royal Reiss estate CLOSE  FRIENDS.   none RELATIONSHIP  STATUS.  married to Historia Reiss FINANCIAL  STATUS.  wealthy, dependent on family funds DRIVER’S  LICENSE.     yes CRIMINAL  RECORD.   none VICES.   bitterness, vindictiveness

sex  &  romance !

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION.  bisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION.  heteroromantic PREFERRED  EMOTIONAL  ROLE.  dominant, nurturing PREFERRED  SEXUAL  ROLE. dominant, serviced LIBIDO.   average to low RELATIONSHIP  TENDENCIES.   he has always looked to settle down.

miscellaneous !

THEME  SONG.     No Surprises - Radiohead HOBBIES  TO  PASS  TIME.     whittling, dog rearing MENTAL  ILLNESSES.   there is something wrong with him for sure PHYSICAL  ILLNESSES.     none LEFT  OR  RIGHT  BRAINED.     right PHOBIAS.  none SELF  CONFIDENCE  LEVEL.  moderate, puts up a front to appear more steadfast than he is VULNERABILITIES.  anything to do with his marriage and his daughter, anything to do with his first wife

[dreamerfms]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed { novella ‘nova’ campbell } walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who { she } is ? they kind of look like { zendaya coleman } and i could be wrong but i think that they might be { twenty-eight } years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last { one year }. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of { frances ‘baby’ houseman } from { dirty dancing }. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at { seaglass dance academy } as a { professional dancer }. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the { the clean slate } of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty { pedantic } at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty { reliable } to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that { two room } apartment beside me over in { mango bay }

full name : novella evangeline campbell birthplace : los altos, california date of birth : 08 / 25 / 1996 parentage : carter campbell & lillian campbell sibling(s) : none occupation : professional dancer / online literature student relationship status : single gender identity : cis female ( she/her ) sexual orientation : demisexual faceclaim : zendaya coleman

BACKGROUND

tw: emotional abuse, eating disorders, s.exual assault, mental health.

the campbell's never planned on having children, far too interested in their own lives to want to deal with the presence of another. lilian spending half her time planning events a year in advance and the other lunching with the ladies. while carter, a high profile lawyer, spent the majority of his time getting his friends at the country club away with their sins. appearances were everything, and so when lilian fell pregnant, she was beyond devasted. still, they chose to see it through.

from the moment novella entered the world, her mother projected all of her own failed aspirations onto the younger. the second she could walk, she was thrust into the world of dance. forced to partake before she could even voice any real disinterest. as the years went on, it appeared she was rather good at it.

ballet soon took priority over anything else, her interest in books and poetry and words thrown to the side as mother deemed them as silly dreams that would amount to nothing. throughout most of her life, nova was alone. at home, at school. even at practise she failed to make friends. trained to be so competitive no one dared to even try. so rigid and particular in everything she did.

her mothers expectations would soon take their toll. dance aside, she was told to be proper at all times. no single hair allowed out of place. a picture of excellence, perfection. a total facade. this would cause nova to strive for something that truly does not exist, and it made her ill. soon she was scraping food around her plate to create the illusion she'd ate, but in reality she did so very little. this would only spiral when it finally seemed like she was about to fit in.

she'd be invited to a party her junior year of high school, and despite the gut feeling she had in her stomach that she shouldn't go, she did. one boy in particular seemed to shower her with attention, and it being so new to her, she lapped it up. that was until he got her alone and began to put his hand on her leg. regardless of how many times she uncomfortably shifted away, he kept at it. further and further. her saving grace came in the form of his friend looking for him. the moment the door opened, she ran. never told a soul.

her mental and physical health would deteriorate, but still she kept her hair perfectly in place, smile fixed. and she'd dance, and dance, and dance until her feet bled.

reprieve only came when high school ended, when she began to spend more and more time away from her parents and the social circle they strived to be apart of. things slowly began to get better, finding a dance partner she truly began to trust.

these days she still has her struggles, but her coping mechanisms are far less severe. but the hairs on her head are still perfectly brushed into place, and everything is done with careful precision.

c.

[momcntum]

GENERAL DESCRIPTION

Character Name: Seonho Jones

Gender Identity & Pronouns: Cis man, he/him

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Age & D.O.B.: 26 years old | February 28th, 1997

Nationality: American

Ethnicity/Race: Korean

Languages: English (fluent), Korean (fluent)

Hometown: Starlight Oaks, Washington, USA

Neighborhood: Downtown

Occupation: Uber driver, construction worker, bartender at blazing comets, dock worker, gig worker

How long have they been in Starlight Oaks? Local

Positive Traits:  Buoyant, steadfast, generous, enthusiastic, humble 

Negative Traits: Restless, escapist, stubborn, self-sacrificing, conflict avoidant

Faceclaim: Cha Eunwoo

APPEARANCE INFO

Height: 183 cm / 6’0”

Eye Color: Brown

Eye Sight: Poor, most often is wearing contacts

Hair: Black in hue, often dyed but currently is natural and growing long

Tattoos: Musical notes on his right ankle with ‘keep moving forward’ written next to it, an arrow heart on his chest with birthdates of his family inside, purple and burgundy forget-me-nots on his shoulderblades, Korean idiom across his spine which translates roughly to "at the end of hardship comes happiness" (고생 끝에 낙이 온다)

Piercings: ears (double lobe, double helix, snug, conch), left eyebrow

Build: broad-shouldered, muscular, toned

Style: street casual, comfortable wear, holey jeans, hoodies, multi-colored sweaters, a singular nice pair of khaki pants, wears a lot of durable clothes because he works so much but does look more stylish for events

PERSONALITY INFO

Zodiac: Pisces ☀ Scorpio ☾  Leo ↑

MBTI: ENFP - Campaigner

Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

Temperament: Sanguine

Vice: Pride

Virtue: Charity

Element: Earth

Schemata: The Server

Habits: Gesturing when speaking, pointing, wears mismatched socks, randomly bursts into song, nicotine addiction (vapes), in general poor self-care habits

Hobbies: Listening to music, writing music, producing music, dancing, sending memes, playing musical instruments, scrapbooking, papercrafting

Likes: Music, romantic comedies, socializing, sunflower seeds, sweets, humming, smiling, cuddling, tteokbokki, adult coloring books, thunderstorms, trying new things even if he’s bad at them

Dislikes: Conflict, waking up early, traffic, most academic things, balancing a checkbook / anything financial-related, folding clothes, humidity, being overheated, wasting food, feeling like he’s not doing enough

SNAPSHOT

• A product of who and where he's come from. With the face of the man who left, the work ethic and passion for music of the man who raised him, and the resilience and compassion of the woman who built his very foundation, Seonho is a survivor. He grew up poor, sometimes destitute and homeless and at best living paycheck to paycheck, and the foot of struggle and responsibility was against his neck at a young age.

• tw: brief mentions of death and illness The oldest of six with two full-blooded siblings and three half-siblings though to him there's no real distinction. The de facto head of his household since his mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's when he was seventeen the literal head of his household since he was eighteen and his mother was sent to hospice. Emanates big brother energy.

• A happy-go-lucky guy despite his circumstances. Lover of warm hugs with honey eyes that are always crinkling under the weight of a smile. Compassionate and empathetic, sometimes to a fault. Always puts himself last. Would give someone the shirt off his back if asked.

• When he's not working, he's socializing. Rarely sleeps and works himself to the point of mental burnout. Lives off adrenaline, energy bars, red bull, and nicotine. Not very good at self-care.

• Is a little too used to the grind and as a result, his life has become a bit stagnant. He lives day to day rather than for the future. Gave up on his musician dreams of pursuing after his (step)dad passed when he was fifteen. Still writes from time to time when he's inspired. Can play pretty much any instrument, and has a soft spot for jazz (and the saxophone) since it was the genre that he was first introduced to.

FULL BIOGRAPHY

tw: mentions of homelessness, illness, abandonment and death (caused by brain aneurysm)

Seonho was born in Starlight Oaks as the eldest child to Seongmin Ryu and Mina Park who moved from Korea when Mina was pregnant with Seonho after she was disowned by her parents who disapproved of Seongmin. His biological father walked out on Seonho, his mother, and two of his younger sisters when he was five years old and Seonho has always believed that they were better off without him.

After being homeless and hopping through halfway houses after the abandonment, his mother remarried three years later and had three more children with Seonho’s stepfather, Jalen Jones, who would become the only father that Seonho acknowledged in his life. Jalen adopted the three eldest children upon his marriage to Mina and they all took on his last name.

Early on in his childhood, Seonho fell in love with music thanks to Jalen’s side-gig playing the saxophone in a jazz band. He had a talented ear for music, picking up musical instruments and mastering them with an ease, and his parents encouraged his passion as best they could, ensuring that they budgeted well enough to afford sending Seonho to his music lessons.

While performing at Pike Place Market in Seattle, he was scouted by a Korean entertainment agency at the age of thirteen. However, he was still a trainee when he flew back home and prematurely ended his contract due to his stepfather dying suddenly of a ruptured brain aneurysm as a result of overworking when Seonho was fifteen. When he returned home, Seonho ran away for a short period of time, thinking that the last thing his mother needed was another mouth to feed and not knowing how to properly cope. He lived on the streets and worked part time at a gas station where he was paid under the table with food and cigarettes, developing a nicotine addiction that he has yet to quit entirely though he now uses a vape pen.

Eventually, he returned home and as the oldest child, he assumed a great deal of responsibility in the household. While he wanted to drop out of school, his mother insisted that he stay enrolled and graduate. Seonho earned money any way that he could to help keep the household afloat, mowing lawns during the summer and working manual labor in the evenings. Sometimes, he would resort to not-so-legal methods if need be. His music became all the more dear to him, filling the gaping holes in his chest that were created from his dream continually slipping through his fingers. Listening to music became a way to escape, no matter how momentarily. He could never catch a break after that.

A year before Seonho graduated from high school, his mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. After it came to the point that his mother could no longer properly take care of them or herself, she was admitted into a longterm care facility by order of the municipality.

At that point, Seonho was eighteen and filed for guardianship of his siblings who had been sent to foster care, which he would eventually be granted after a months' long battle with the courts. He also became the conservator of his mother’s well-being. Seonho insists that he provide for his family and ensure that each of his siblings focus on their studies, graduate from school, and are afforded opportunities that he did not have. Even if that means he has to work a slew of jobs in order to make ends meet. Even if that means he has to continually make personal sacrifices and stretch himself too thin.

CONNECTIONS

Non-playable characters of note: Mina Park-Jones (mother, in a hospice), Jalen Jones (step/adoptive father, deceased), Seongmin Ryu (biological father, absent), Sam (younger gender non-conforming sibling, age 17), Hana (younger sister, age 14), and Melody (younger sister, age 13)

Others to be announced!

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Two younger sisters with the same set of biological parents that are between the ages of twenty one and twenty five, will be posting a wanted connection later

Co-workers from any of his many jobs

People who he frequently picks up via Uber

People he annoys as he can be a Lot, very talkative and often overly friendly

Friends! A best friend, a ride-or-die, acquaintances, people he grew up with, people he is a positive influence on, etc.

Perhaps an ex or two at most, could have ended on good or bad terms.

Hookups. Seonho is more of a commitment guy as a terrible romantic, but he is indulgent from time to time as he is also a very busy man and most likely these would be one night stand situations unless he is close enough to someone to have a friend-with-benefits situation (singular) to address those needs.

Open to plotting! I am up for nearly everything.