#(have a crack thing yall)

[purplebehittindifferent]

Well guys, here it comes.

imnotcryingyouretheonecryingimjistallergictomyemotionsstfu

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

[horse-head-farms]

okay hear me out guys: trans girl Hypno

i have no explanation for this other than 1) i think it is fun 2) it gives the boob window a purpose (future investment for when boobs happen)

[coniangray]

Whos watching life in Hawkins??

This hit me earlier when I realized all four stories of st4 had someone/ something being a know-it-all god or a heterodiagetic narrator watching and knowing everything all at once.

But not everywhere (pun intended)

All four storylines have both types of narrators:

A homodiegetic one, this being a character involved in the story and showing their prescription of things

A heterodiagetic one, aka the know-it-all god, recording and watching all the other characters.

Homodiegetic:

For the Hawkins plot it was max. For California it was Will and Mike. For the lab it was eleven, and for the prison it was Hopper (and I think Joyce on her way there, since the prison plot is somehow separate from Joyce and Yuri's plot).

I can tell, because we SEE all of those characters feelings displayed on screen in one way or another. Max was curious during the curse, therefore bringing the whole team together, Wills lingering in California was also shown through him only, Hopper's desparation and fear for joyce not making it safe ect.

The only one I'm on the fence about is Mike, since the last time we got a scene from his prospective was in s2 or at the rain fight in s3 I think. Aka, Mike's pov was not shown enough in s4, but it was there.

Heterodiagetic narrator:

This might sound tricky at first but it's not. Even though this narrator is not supposed to be a character at all: instead, they're just a messenger who convey the story from the writer to the reader (as all narrators do). They're a ghost, an entity, aka the camera of the characters.

But in this case, the narrator is in the show. Each plot has its own one, and that's what considered a god of their own nature.

I realized this from the security cameras and the memory storage of Brenner in Nina scenes. He was keeping and choosing which ones to show to El, aka choosing her path instead of her, which becomes clear in the show later on.

In Alaska, there was also security footage to which jopper had also access to later on.

As for California, they were also recorded/watched at some point. When? Right before the shooting.

The jokes about house arrest in this scene made me think the guards that were supposed to keep them same weren't just sitting, they were most likely recording the activity in the house due to protocol (at least i wanna believe it, considering Mike's house was anf might still be bugged since the end of s1 and the flashbacks in s2).

Also, in the van, they were most likely watched by El after she gained her powers.

And if all of these plots were watched by someone, then who was watching Hawkins?

Vecna.

I realized it from this video; vecna was legit searching for a source, another mind to curse in order to complete his plan.

The camera panning made me think he had access to anyone he wanted to. He could've chosen literally anyone in replacement of mike, but he went for Patrick instead.

Why? Because he knew he was in the same group with Lucas and Jason. As we saw, attacking Patrick triggered not just these two, but in total five people and the entire Hawkins team.

And became the wirters chose to plot wise.

My point is, the dynamics changed after his death, even in the slightest, bringing Lucas closer to max.

Now, because these gods are characters too, their own thoughts may interviene with what we see/ are shown, therefore leading everything back to homodiegetic or 1st person pov.

The main occupants here are Henry and of course, Brenner. Its like a domino effect, once brenner was watching one and now one is watching hawkins.

Their motives also beg to differ; Brenner was focusing more and only on logic, hence one disobeyed that rule and only relied on emotions, especially anger, to get his powers to their fullest potential, and thats what he also taught eleven.

But the main know it all god; The Mindflayer.

It literally watches everyone. Dustin said it himself:

A five star general that can open gates and watch. Tell us just His side of the story, messing with others memories, especially Wils, and everything related to him and el.

Aka, he can just change every detail he wants simply because he was watching.

Because his lenses were stronger than the other characters, and becuase he had and still has a devoted spy. A spy that can absorb information from inside.

And that spy is Will. even in season 4, even in the byler scenes, EVERYWHERE.

That kiiinda sounds like a hyperboly, but because the connection was there, it doesnt mean it was strong. The closer he got to hawkins, the stroger it got, thats why he felt him so intenesely at the cabin.

And here comes the unreliable narrator.

Most scenes are not shown excactly how things happen. Theyre not objective, theyre subjective, given how at least one persons pov is always involved.

This is also why there are a lot of variations of just one memory, why the void version of their timeline is slightly differrent, and why even though will saw mileven happy during the rinkomania skating scenes, an outsiders pov showed how they actually felt, dissapointed by everything.

One other thing id like to add, will MIGHT be playing the god role here too, taking in mind his ongoing connection with vecna and how this could eventually be displayed in vecnas mind if he wanted to. Hence the whole spy thing.

There was a post i read about El trading places with max and exchaging herself with a variant from another timeline, and that adds another layer to the unreliable narrator imo, thinking how the two days later el has different memories and knowledge than the el we knew from before and is now possibly dead.

The thing is, this unreliable narrator thing has SO many layers, and therfore shapes somewhat smalll plot holkes within scenes, especially in s1,2 and 4.

And it got even messier im 3 given hoe focusing solely on the mainstream 80's summer slasher movie vibe, some characters arcs were lost or outshined by others that had the chance to change their arcs for the better.

Yes, im talking about will who was sidelined a lot and then this was decided to be used as a weapon for the connection between him and the ud.

All the arcs are intertwined, but i CANT solve this untill we get s5. Its honestly frustrating like GIMME THE SOLUTION BRUHHHH

[roxyandelsewhere]

Angels’ trueforms in their most memorable moments [26/?] - Nephilim fetus: regular nephil, sired by a regular angel (above) and Jack, sired by Lucifer (below)

inprnt | society6 | redbubble | teepublic | ko-fi

[askgametime]

🐜 Recommend a fic that makes you laugh! A crack fic, or something that's just really funny!

okay, i actually generally don't answer asks on this blog, i create/reblog ask games to be used by others since i'm not really open for prompts right now and this blog isn't fandom specific. however, i guess i could provide a rec/recs, but since there's no fandom listed it will be random. and since i don't normally do these i'm going all out with a really detailed answer.

...alright, briefly traversed my bookmarks for fics i remembered being hilarious, and ironically, this is not at all indicative of the fandoms i spend the most time reading in, especially like, currently, but it's a small variety and they were all memorably hilarious so:

still alive but i’m bearly breathing by thessalonike (starblessed) / @julies-butterflies

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms; Rating: T; Categories: Gen, M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

So, Julie's got a possessed teddy bear. “It was just a flash of light, like a lava lamp exploded, and then, whoomph —“ Reggie mimes what, presumably, is a person getting sucked into a stuffed animal’s body. It involves a lot of flailing, a weird mermaid wiggle, and a moonwalk. “Alex was a bear.” CAN WE PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT, sings Alex — or Bearlex — into his plush microphone, with his tiny robotic voice. The sound box inside of the bear isn’t designed for speaking, only warbling… so every time Alex has something to say, he sounds like robot Freddie Mercury attempting karaoke. ALEX IS NOT A BEAR. ALEX IS INSIDE A BEAR. IT’S DIFFERENT. “Yeah, man, it sounds worse.”

Rec Notes: This one makes me cry laughing. Every single time. It's so funny. I believe after I watched JATP and binged a bunch of fics I read every single one of this person's works and they were all great. God, I need to rewatch that show, it's been a hot second.

Smoke Break by OrangeGaytor

Fandom: Disco Elysium; Rating: M; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Shivers– Miles away, a young teenager takes his first ever hit of a joint. He inhales too deeply, and spit flies from his lips as he falls into a coughing fit. Pitifully, his friend pats him on the back, an embarrassed grimace on his face. Just as far away, a woman is locked to her couch, paralyzed by the 10 mg edible she took an hour and a half ago. The recommended dosage was half of a gummy, and yet, the chemicals overpower her, merging her into the cushions. Time passes as a dripping faucet, inconsistent, and runny. And here, in Martinese, a police officer has rolled the worst blunt known to all mankind. 

Rec Notes: Great grasp of game's format/feel, incredibly funny. I just love how it's worded. The summary is a great example--the pacing and punchline is just. chef's kiss.

No Speak, Only Batman by hitthedeck

Fandom: DC/Batman/Justice League; Rating: G; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1) (Part 5 of a series of oneshots)

Batman doesn't use words, those prehistoric, plebian things. Instead, he stares deeply into your eyes, waits for you to absorb his meaning, and leaves. Either that or he fights it out like a normal person. Or, in which Batman's unique communication style is spectacularly unhelpful.

Rec Notes: I don't even go here, but Batman produces so many excellent, excellent crack fics. This is one of the best. Honestly, this whole series is completely iconic. Please read them all.

Filet-O-Fish by moopyjoopy

Fandom: The Magnus Archives; Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Someone throws a Filet-O-Fish at Jon’s front door. Paranoia ensues. (rated teen for a few swears)

Rec Notes: Okay, I'm really not gonna have a lot to say for any of these other than "help please they're so fucking funny" but I cannot impress on you enough they truly are all so fucking funny. I don't even really go here, either and YET. Also, I just love this author. Master of humor, truly.

œuf ouch owie by miraculousunflower (ominousunflower)

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug; Rating: T; Category: F/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Chat Noir enlists Rena Rouge's help to create an Aspik illusion. Absolutely nothing goes wrong. Ladybug smiles. “I wanted to drop by and welcome Aspik. I know it must be a little intimidating, being surrounded by so many veteran heroes…so, welcome! We’re glad to have you on board.” “I look like an egg!” Aspik announces, T-posing. Chat turns to Rena, feeling like he has been punched in the solar plexus. What the hell? he mouths. Rena grimaces, her eyes wide with panic. Stomach sinking, Chat remembers one of the first things he learned about the Fox Miraculous: that if Rena Rouge isn’t focused, her illusions go haywire. Oh, no.

Rec List: cannot emphasize enough this one makes me cry laughing every time. I don't know what it is, man. It's just so fucking funny. I haven't watched this show in years and still I go back and reread this when I remember it exists.

Sam Green and the Strange, Perplexing, Almost Bad, Very Confusing Night(s) by pukner

Fandom: Stranger Things; Rating: G; Category: Gen, M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - WIP (1/2)

"'M I bein' kidnapped?" asked Harrington. "What," said Sam, alarmed, "No!" "Okay," said Harrington with terrifying agreeability, considering the words he was saying, "But like. If you were? It's cool, I've been kidnapped before." "Wh—" "It was, uh. A bunch of twelve-year-olds," said Harrington, sounding strangely pensive. Then, sadly, "They stole B'lly's car." Sam actually could not process anything being said right then. He started the car. "Hey, Harrington?" he said, voice strained. "Yeah?" "Let's stop talking for a while, yeah?" "'Kay." Or, in November 1984, Sam Green (or Freak, if he's at a gig) sees Steve Harrington stumbling home looking like roadkill. He drives him to the hospital, and never quite manages to get rid of him. In July 1985, Eddie Munson is very confused about this.

Rec Notes: Every work by this author is so, so good. I don't even go here--god, why is that a pattern on this list?--but I'm always excited to see them in my inbox. I only chose this particular one (a) by virtue of it being the most recent and therefore the one I remembered best and (b) Mall Goop.

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Epistolary Bullying Campaign by viramine / @mvshortcut

Fandom: The Mysterious Benedict Society; Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

"To LD Curtain (I refuse to believe you actually earned your doctorate): When I opened the newspaper over my nutritious breakfast this morning, I was greeted by the most terrible and disgusting sight in the world (your face). Now I am going to take several moments of your time to express my displeasure." Or, how did Curtain know they called themselves the Society, anyway?

Rec Notes: Iconic as fucking always. Top-tier author, top-tier comedy; have my hand in marriage, etc. Constance terrorizing Curtain is always wonderful but this is probably the best version of that. Great characterization, deeply hilarious and so so funny, always worth rereading over and over. The best, ♾️/10 stars

Geoffrey M'Benga: Vulcan (Love??) Guru by WerewolvesAreReal

Fandom: Star Trek (TOS); Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Post-Amok Time. “The only conclusion M'Benga can draw, based on all McCoy's questions about Vulcans, is that the man is enamored with Commander Spock. Someone should really tell him that pigtail-pulling stops being cute when you're eight.” Misunderstandings, genfic, humor.

Rec Note: Yet another author I always and without fail am absolutely thrilled to see in my inbox. And this fic? Regular reread. Absolutely incredible.

A dis-ass-ter by normal_thoughts_official / @normal-thoughts-official

Fandom: Shadowhunters; Rating: M; Category: F/F, M/M, Multi, Other - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

Simon and Maia find out what the Mark of Cain is in an... Alternate way. Namely, they can't get their spanking session on. The squad is called in to help.

Rec Notes: [announcer voice] FROM WRITING GENIUS NORMAL-THOUGHTS-OFFICIAL IT'S!!!! THE POLYCULE SPANKING ASS PORTAL FIC!!!! Truly so funny and from one of the best authors on this damn site, wonderful characterization, on point comedy, and impeccable taste as always. Blowing you a kiss. Tossing bouquets. Firing confetti cannons. Etc.

A Way Things Should Be by LullabyKnell / @lullabyknell

Fandom: The Hobbit (Movies); Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (16/16)

In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host." And I think that's beautiful. ~ Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death. ~ Actions speak so much louder than words.

Rec Notes: Truly a stunning fic. An absolute masterpiece. Hilarious, touching, perfectly paced. Incredibly long and well-thought out, great characterization, and again, I cannot stress this enough, hilarious. I once recommended this to a person out loud irl in real life on purpose. A person who had never heard of fanfiction. Admittedly I was a high-schooler at the time, so it's not like I had much sense (not that I have any now), but I still didn't normally do that. He thought it was hilarious, by the way. Read some excerpts out loud at lunch and had them howling. Wonderful fic, cannot recommend enough; so fucking funny and the premise is just. so good.

--- --- --- ---

And now, because I'm selfish, here's a few crack fics I wrote, because. why not, am I right? I'm already putting way too much time into this probably.

-- -- -- -- --

Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)

Fandom: Ted Lasso; Rating: M; Category: M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (13/13)

A series of bizarre, loosely related events occur, all kicked off by Trent absently mentioning that he may or may not have once hooked up with Rupert Mannion.

Author Note: I had so much fun with this one. It's not my most popular crack fic--even my most popular Ted Lasso crack fic--but it amuses me.

dreams of falling

Fandom: House MD; Rating: M; Category: M/M - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

House and, among other things: green couches, being kissed by Wilson, lightning-fast overthinking, and talking to himself.

Author Note: My first time writing House, and entirely on an impulse. I really like some of the lines in here, like Chase's brief appearance.

gemini schmemini

Fandom: The Mysterious Benedict Society (TV); Rating: T; Category: Gen - No Archive Warnings Apply - Complete (1/1)

"You're his clone?" demanded Kate loudly, looking between Mr. Benedict and Curtain. His what. There were a lot of answers he could give to this. No, who in the world told you that, we're twins, being the main one, or perhaps he could just turn to his brother and say, did you seriously fucking tell people you cloned yourself instead of owning up to not being an only child?! But looking at his brother, who was keeping his face utterly blank, Nicholas made a split second decision. "No," he said, looking his brother directly in the eyes, "Actually, he's my clone."

Author Note: I had a harder time choosing between my MBS crack fics because I think they're all hilarious. No false modesty here, if there's one thing I am occasionally good at it is being funny as fuck. Not reliably, but, you know. Anyway, I asked my friends to choose between three random ones I think are the funniest and this was the unanimous (of the two people that responded on incredibly short notice) vote!

And now...

[iftitah]

everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

hi kane !! if u were in charge of writing the story for a cars 4 movie, what would u want it to be about ? 🤔 (@dmclr)

Ouughh. Ohhmgugish. I don't know why I'm like all "you're asking ME??🤧"

GENIUNELY NO ONE IS OBLIGATED TO READ THIS. I know the whole "I yap a lot" thing sometimes but this is geniunely like a rediculous length. I mean no one is obligated to read any of my posts but yknow.

I need like two read more bars for this post yall. I don't know why I'm yapping so much. In case it wasn't clear I had a lot to say here and thank you for asking me this(<- more thankfulness filled than I can properly express at the moment, so sorry). I didn't proof-read much of this I'm so sorry if it's like incoherent and has the punctuation of the "I'm eating, Grandma" vs "I'm eating Grandma" grammar tool.

Okay I'm like. Blaming the fact I messed up my sleep schedule and it's 11:27pm and I just woke up like an hour and a half ago and I side-tracked myself like absolutely crazy but keep side-tracking myself into different rants or tangents so it is just a forever increasing ramble, but TL;DR, I actually prefer media that is dead or left alone because I get so anxious when new stuff comes out cause I'm afraid of what they'll do to my faves or if they'll butcher them or add slap-stick love interests, etc., and when Cars on the Road came out(idk how aware people are that it exists), I spent the whole first watch through not really enjoying and savoring it cause I was so anxious over what was gonna happen that I spent the whole time making sure it was 'safe' and I wasn't going to have a pit in my stomach. Which, it turned out lovely and I actually have some things from it that I super love and adore, but I have actually unironically predicted my F/Os so strongly(among other listful factors) that I'd rather them finally put it to rest before it starts getting into beating a dead horse territory, cause I don't know if there's really much of anything left for them to expand on anyway.

My serious answer?: I'm not entirely sure, but I would enjoy seeing them just expand on some more smaller stuff, and I'd like it better if they didn't try to do 'revivals' of characters from past movies(ily Chick but Cars 3 was a bitttt of some injustice to you), I know they're supposed to be more action-y movies but I love slice of life stuff and I'd totally just watch an hour and forty minutes of Lightning just like playing around Radiator Springs or something(every Cars game ever). Though my ultimate ideal scenario is just none at all.

My slightly less serious answer that probabblyyy isn't gonna happen but the odds are never zero(he says humorously)?: They should spend the whole time doing documentary style movie about how it would've gone if I was in the previous movies +sketches/storyboards or reanimated scenes of small moments but I'm thrown in there. ALL IM SAYING IS Cars 2 would've been SO funny if I was in it okay. Would've been exhausted running around the entirety of Europe(+like US and Japan for a moment) nearly the entire time and someone watching would've been sick to their stomach cause the movie WOULD CONCLUDE with it all ending via the power love, and I'm not sorry. Would've had my 'Mary Sue' moment of like nearly every major(and some minor) cast role having SOME sort of feelings for me, most typically romantic. And it being reciprocated. You want an action movie?? There, now tell me THAT ain't action-packed. I refuse to believe the outcome of anything would be predictable. Every last interaction is gonna leave the viewers asking "what the HELL is going on and what will happen next". Pixar(and Disney) I am right here but it's okay if ur busy cause I'm busy too.

The stuff under the cut is basically the same thing I said here(mostly focused on my 'serious' answer bit), but veryy elaborated upon, so it's fairly lengthy. PUTTING MY PHONE DOWN AND HITTING POST NOW BEFORE I SOMEHOW ADD MORE. BUT THANK YOU THNAK YOU FOR ASKING THIS I DIDNT THINK I WOULD WRITE AN ACTUAL ESSAY I AM SO SORRY.

I don't know how much I really mention this, cause I think it a lot but I don't wanna like drive my blog viewers nuts if I say it so much over and over again, but I get like so anxious over whenever knew stuff or content of my F/Os come out believe it or not! There was only like.. one or two medias in the past where I was actually like.. excited whenever the person posted new stuff! Somehow I've had the luck of most things that I F/O from are dead upload-wise. I get so anxious that it'll go down hill(especially if the media has been going on for a while now, which.. Cars starting in 2006 I'd count that) cause I've watched some shows just go downhill or randomly butcher characters or add slap-stick romantic interests that it just makes me far too anxious!! Honestly, I thought Cars WAS finished and through with, but for whatever reason there was the release of Cars on the Road(don't know how many people know of that) and DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVED IT and I still do and think about it fairly often, I actually really really love and adore some of the qualities they expanded on with Mater and Lightning but that's a whole thing for another time probably-, but what I didn't enjoy was being so anxious over it that when it came out I practically spent my whole first watch through making sure that it was 'safe' and something wasn't going to happen that makes me feel like I swallowed a rock and my stomach sinks. Which thankfully didn't happen at all, I loved how it turned out and still rewatch it occasionally, I think they nailed it, but I didn't like the so nervous experience I had in the first place😅

I've heard some people talk about someone who did an interview with someone who supposedly works on the Cars stuff about how they still had stuff in mind they wanted to do with the characters, I'm HOPING I don't somehow jinx myself wildly but honestly I'd muchhh rather prefer it just gets dropped and they let Cars just be what it is for now. Sometimes I question if they just do this stuff because they milk a crazy amount of money out of how well the diecasts sell, which is why they have so many one-off diecasts like the off-roading ones or the glow in the dark ones, or just random sorts of themes. Which, entire tangent for another day, can't BELIEVE they put Jackson anywhere CLOSE do a dirt racing series even if it was just the diecast. But anyway.

TO ACTUALLY ANSWER YOU QUESTION... I'm not super sure!!! I've heard some people talk about seeing more stuff about how Cruz and Lightning race together would be interesting, I think I'd prefer something like that as opposed to a revisit of characters from previous movies or such(ily Chick but they tampered your voice in Cars 3 and I'd argue your personality a bit as well), truthfully I'm not super sure, I've never thought about it so much before!! They should include me in the movie(/hj). Truthfully, normally each movie has been sort of centered around Lightning having some sort of character development arc he has to go through, I'm not sure what else he could be put through! Don't get me wrong, he's absolutely not a perfect character, which is what makes characters so enjoyable in the first place, but he doesn't have as big of a staple thing to go through like he did in the first movie where he was a "I can do it all by myself" i-use-my-ego-to-hide-my-feelings rookie. I don't entirely like how the third movie took it truthfully, with the whole "McQueen is getting older..😢😥..how will he still race?!" Cause like one of the staple differences between F1 and NASCAR is that so many NASCAR racers(especially if they made it good) stay racing until they are like in their 60s+ or their hairs are graying(which, arguably could happen whenever but for the sake of my point, stereotypical age-related graying). And Lightning is like in his mid-30s in the third movie at the LATEST. So I don't know what any of that was about. I know there was the whole new gen of racers thing but he honestly wasn't doing too bad keeping up with them until things got into his head and he freaked himself out(on top of the crash, and the like. Literal depression he falls in to). And then there's the whole thing of he actually had it in him the win the last race in the movie at the Flordia 500 blah blah blah but he wanted to switch out with Cruz so she could have her moment, which, I'm not entirely ecstatic over how they paced Cruz's development, I wish they let it marinate a bit more but I get they had crunch-time in the movie.

[kalaidosnail]

When they were 8 years old, Jonathan Sims watched one of their bullies die at the hands of the Leitner known as Mr. Spider. They found themselves unable to share their experience with his grandmother, instead delving into whatever books he could find to soothe their mind. This led them down a path which eventually found them with a small notebook in his hands, scribbling down notes as he scrambled through abandoned buildings, poking Artifacts with sticks. After being saved once or twice by a disgruntled Gertrude Robinson, they continued to investigate, becoming a sort of ward of many of the Avatars of London. He observed the process of skin burning on many afternoons spent with Jude Perry, trembling but ultimately standing still, wide eyed, drinking it all in. They learned how to spin a baton and balance on a tightrope while Nikola Orsinov clapped delightedly at his efforts. Annabelle Cain herself helped him find closure and peace after they confided in her what had happened with the Leitner. Many others would ask after his well-being, sending them birthday gifts and dropping by with treats the one time they became sick with the flu. Gertrude, reluctant as she was to let a child be claimed by a Fear, helped him forge a connection to the Eye, and taught them how to hide from James Wright, then from Elias Bouchard. Now, they have found a position as her replacement, the Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. 

   How will they manage to handle their grief for Gertrude, evade Bouchard’s schemes, diffuse political tensions between the Avatars, and wrangle their trio of disconcertingly attractive and devastatingly mischievous assistants? 

Well, for once in his life, he really just doesn’t Know. Should be interesting, at least.

--

In other words, I've decided to do a chatfic. Kinda. Jon knows how to use a phone, that's it that's the premise.

[itsalcngstory]

"Some guy at the tavern called me a muscle mommy. . .the fuck does that mean?"

[arolesbianism]

Hello oni lore fans, I have been fighting for my life to solve a lil mystery and I decided to finally clean up one of the logs I copy and pasted from the code so I can hopefully find someone else who's seen it in game before. It's called "a seed is planted" and I'm pretty sure it was in the research notes section, but in the code it's placed alongside the story trait logs so I'm not 100% confident where it's supposed to be found. I first saw it in a save that I was using sandbox mode to hunt for lore with, and it stuck around for a lil while before disappearing, and then it randomly came back for a lil bit before all my lore logs got wiped with the recent update. I have no idea how I got it in the first place nor what made it disappear and come back, so I'm basically just wondering if anyone else has had this issue with this particular log (or any logs for that matter)

I have copy and pasted the log under the cut, although the formatting might be a bit off as this was cleaned up from a copy paste directly from the code itself

"A Seed is Planted"

[Voice Recognition Initialized]

[Subject Identified: B040]

[LOG BEGINS]

Three days ago, we completed our first non-fatal Duplicant trial of Nikola's comprehensive synapse microanalysis and mirroring process. Five hours from now, Subject #901 will make history as our first human test subject.

Even at the Vertex Institute, which is twice Gravitas's size, I could've spent half my career waiting for approval to advance to human trials for such an invasive process! But Director Stern is too invested in this work to let it stagnate.

My darling Bruce always said that when you're on the right path, the universe conspires to help you. He'd be so proud of the work we do here.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

My bio-printed multi-cerebral storage chambers (or "mega minds" as I've been calling them) are working! Just in time to save my job.

The Director's been getting increasingly impatient about our struggle to maintain the integrity of our growing datasets during extraction and processing. The other day, she held my report over a Bunsen burner until the flames reached her fingertips.

I can only imagine how much stress she's under.

The whole world is counting on us.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

On a hunch, I added dream content analysis to the data and...wow. Oneirology may be scientifically "fluffy", but integrating subconscious narratives has produced a new type of brainmap - one with more latent potential for complex processing.

If these results are replicable, we might be on the verge of unlocking the secret to creating synthetic life forms with the capacity to evolve beyond blindly following commands.

Nikola says that's irrelevant for our purposes. Surely Director Stern would disagree.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

Nikola gave me a dataset to plug into the mega minds. He wouldn't say where it came from, but even if he had...nothing could have prepared me for what it contained.

When he saw my face, he muttered something about how people should call me "Tremors," not "Nails" and sent me on my lunch break.

All I could think about was those poor souls.

Did they have souls?

...do we?

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

It's done. My adjustments to the memory transfer protocol are hardcoded into the machine.

I finished just as Nikola stormed in.

I may be too much of a coward to stand up for those unfortunate creatures, but with these new parameters in place...someday, they might be able to stand up for themselves.

[LOG ENDS]

------------------

[lighthouseshepard]

i now have an assortment of arthur lester body parts following me. how did this happen. shouldn't you all be, you know, off with the rest of the body? hes lost enough chunks of himself as it is

[kindred-spirit-93]

pov: ur me trying to get shit done but the 100k+ word angst hurt/ no comfort major character death oneshot is directing itself in the back of ur mind and stop please god no more i cant handle the feels oh

and back to work it is!

[rosedhall]

shout out to the poor cunts who were just left hanging for a year because my inbox actually has asks in it lmao

+ unrelated scribble I don't hate

[mr-magoriums-im-sorry-emporium]

sone of yall absolutely give me the vibe of "would constantly push weight loss on me, even if i was sat in my wheelchair right in front of you and this is the fourth time now ive told you im a recovering anorexic"

and a subset of yall give me the vibe of "would lie to me and tell me my liver is in danger of failing in order to push bariatric surgery onto me"

yes both things have happened to me. yes they were doctors

[neptun333]

This may somehow be the least surprising Spotify wrapped I’ve ever had