#(guess who's trying to get back to rping? again--)

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

||The Misadventures of Phoenix and Shadow Chimera Sorcerer Part 19: A small curse terror||

Hi dears. I just got another idea for this so have another chapter. It was funny in my head so I hope you like it. Please enjoy part 19.

----- Chapters of Adventure so far --------

||Previous chapters of Chapter 1-9||

||Previous chapters of Chapters 6-13||

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

((Your reading chapter 19))

||Drabble Summary||

It's been some time after Kisho brought back the little Possom like Raccoon curse spirit to the school. However, it seems things have gotten a bit bad after he did. What chaos has this little curse brought? read to find out.

||Warning||

~A little curse brat

~lots of yelling and cursing

~destruction might be present in this

||Muses in this drabble||

Taz Hellion, Kinie, , Daichi/Eito belongs to my friend and amazing rp partner@chunibyo-x-sorcerer that is a side blog owned by @demon-blood-youths

Ryomen Sukuna, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, and Nobara Kugisaki belong to Jujtusu Kaisen but also to me due to rping them as muses. While the same for Miko Yotsuya, yuria niguredou nd Hana Yurikawa from the anime series/manga series Mieruko-chan but also to me due to rping as them as muses.

((Note: This drabble will have heavy grammar mistakes and errors but this was written for fun. I hope you understand but also enjoy please.))

"So Taz, how have you been so far? We heard your still growing stronger by the day. We all still do miss you but we hope your well." Taz Hellion was speaking to her leader from the DBT: Van Ink the dragon. She's been doing the daily check up today seeing her in her dorm room.

"Hi Ink and I miss you too. I've been alright and still getting stronger by the day. Though, we are just having another day off though due to some things." she laughed a bit while sitting on her bed to look at the screen.

"Ah, I see. Well, knowing how training has been I believe that. Though, has anything new happened with you and the others?" she asked as Taz thinks about it.

"Hmmmm, not really. Though, some things have happened." Taz explains before she looks seeing a baby quoll near by rolling on it's back. The same one that Taz summoned when she became a toddler. However, their was another curse that was curled up in her lap happily.

"Uhhhhh wait, what is that?" Ink noticed to see the Possum racoon curse. However, she blinks to pet his head to smile.

"Oh this is Charlie. He's a curse that Kisho and Megumi found when on a mission. He tends to be a grumpy pants but he's not too bad." she said while petting him. The baby quoll nuzzles against her hand too as she was petting both of them.

"Wait..Kisho and Megumi found him? Though, he don't seem like a grumpy pants.."

"Trust me, he is. He tends to be a trouble maker." Taz said with a sweatdrop. But maybe she can explain.

~~~~~~~~~~

"So yeah! I figured if we bring him back we can teach him now to be nice!" Kisho was speaking to the others even the Principle Yaga who was seeing both Megumi and Yuji scratched up all over while Megumi was doing his best not to be angry.

"Uh huh........and your telling me this how? I thought the curse was with them during the time-"

"Lets just say we found it during the time we were shopping for Taz and Yuji. But Kisho figure it was a good idea to go and bring it back." he explains to see Yaga sigh.

"......"

"Please Mister Yaga. I'm sure he can be nice..." Kisho said only to see the curse hiss and hops on his face scratching his face again. Kisho screams in pain trying to stop it.

"WILL YOU STOP SCRATCHING MY FACE!? OW THAT HURTS! STOP IT!"

"........" Nanami, Yaga, and Gojo blinks to hear this but they were unsure on how this curse will be good. With a sigh, he looks to him.

"Fine. I guess you can prove it. You boys will just try to make our 'guest' welcome. Just....keep it out of trouble." he said.

"R..right.." Megumi said seeing Kisho rolling on the ground trying to get the curse off his now scratched up face.

"Ow..."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh wow. So that curse named Charlie was like that?" Ink asked.

"Yeah but he don't mean to. Though, he seems to be friendly with the girls instead of the guys." Taz said still petting his head seeing the baby quoll now sleeping in her lap too.

"Charlie was either very scared when being found or maybe he was just unsure on what to do."she said but Taz keeps holding both curses to her.

~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Kisho and Megumi was given the order to keep a eye on the curse. He already caused some chaos. From the first day, he's been always biting and clawing at the boys who would take turns to it but it was after Taz and Yuji were back to normal. At first, Taz was shocked hearing this even Yuji was too when hearing this. But more when seeing the little curse.

"Why are you two so scratched up?" Nobara said but Kisho sighed.

"You don't want to know-Ow!"

"Sorry!" Miko said trying to put some medicine on the scratches of his face while holding a bottle, a cotton ball with tweezers.

"Well, even though you guys look like a mess..." Nobara sighed. "Though, has the little guy gotten used to his new home?" she asked.

"..Eh...in a way.." Kisho said remembering it shredding his clothes, trying to bit Eito. Their was times it sneaks off causing problems like attacking Megumi while he sleeps or jumpscaring. To Yuji being bitten and him scratching at his face. All Sukuna would do is laugh.

"Well you guys have got to try being more nice to it or...him?" she said.

"Well, it's more like a monster if that's the right word!" Megumi said annoyed with this curse hearing it hiss at him but he saw it glare at him before seeing Megumi holding him.

"Besides, we wouldn't have to worry about him if he stops biting me and the guys." he said poking his nose seeing veins showing till it chomps down on his hand. "OW! YOU FUCKING LITTLE-"

He sees him jump from his hands right into Taz's arms as she blinks to hold it. He hisses angry at Megumi, Kisho, and Yuji but nuzzles happily against Taz.

"Uhhhhhh....he seems to like you...." Miko said to Taz.

"HA!?!? THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Kisho said.

'Wow, I can't believe you brats are so scared of a little thing. You call yourselves sorcerers?!' Kinie said laughing at the boys even if they look to her trying to not say anything.

"You don't get it Kinie that THING hates us!" Yuji said.

'Yeah, no kidding!' she said bursting out laughing.

"I..I don't know how he likes me. I just met him.....but he does look cute." she said seeing him now trying to be cute before it looks to Nobara wagging it's tail.

"Huh, she's got a point. He looks more like a little kid than most." she even reaches to scratch it's head hearing a happy trill from it's throat. It even wraps the tail around her wrist hoping for more.

".............."

"You...that fucking little-"

"Easy Megumi, easy." Kisho said nervous seeing him wanting to destroy that little beast.

"How can I!? Why did you think bringing him back was a good idea!?" he said grabbing Kisho by the shirt who yelps.

"I thought he would be added as a new member like Wilson!" he said in a panic.

"SERIOUSLY!?" He said only to see the cruse being petted by Nobara, Taz, and Yuria. Miko was just done with fixing Kisho up before seeing the curse hop and lands in her arms. She squeaked seeing him nuzzling her cheek.

"H..hello there little guy.." she said being carefully while even Eito, Wilson, and Anaconda was curious he only keeps being happy with the females but he seems to be alright with them too.

'Oh this little jerk!' Kisho thought only for him to still be admired by the girls. He even walks over to glare at it. "How come your so nice with them and not us!? Why be a little brat!" he said only for the curse to hiss and chomp down on his hand again.

Kisho twitched only to yelp out in pain from the bite as he rolls on the ground from the pain. Megumi and Yuji sweatdrops even seeing Eito looking at him with a deadpan expression.

"Now now, I'm sure he didn't mean it.." Yuria said.

"Oh he did! I'll get you for that!" Kisho said with tears in his eyes even if the curse hisses at him but goes to nuzzling Taz happily calm again.

"I..I think we should give him a...a name right?" Miko asked seeing the girls agree.

"Hmmmm..true. So...what should we name him?" Nobara asked.

"....How about Ross?" Yuria said seeing the curse shaking his head.

"Mark?" Nobara said seeing him shake his head.

"..St...steve?" Miko said seeing him shake his head. Taz thinks a little but she blinks to look.

"How about Charlie? Is that okay?" she asked to see him blink but nod as he goes to hop in Taz's arms to lick her cheek. She blinks holding him.

"So Charlie hmm? Alright then, we'll call you Charlie!" she said as the girls were happy. However, the boys were shocked seeing this. That sneaky little punk got the girls to love him! However, when doing so, he shows a snickering grin from the girls to the guys who was seething right now.

~~~~~~~~~

"Ohhhh now I get it. Wow, he must cause a lot of trouble around don't he?" Ink asked.

"Hmmm, In a way but he's not bad. He's just a little curse. It's just like Wilson when he was taken out due to be cursed. So I think Charlie will be fine. The other shikigami get along with him. I don't know why he don't get along with big brother and the others though." she mutters wondering about it.

"Well, I'm sure in the future they will get along. I do want them to be happy even with this little guy. Mr. Yaga already made a cute plush for him too so it means he's part of the family now!" she smiled looking at the two sleeping shikigami.

"Speaking of them, where are the guys?" Ink asked.

"Ehhhh they said something about doing some cleaning work around school. I'm sure they will be done before lunch later." she said. This made Ink blink wondering what happened but she gets the feeling it involved Charlie.

Meanwhile with them, they had to clean the classroom due to Charlie's rage so they were cleaning it up before Megumi was brushing something away.

"You know, maybe it was a bad idea to bring him here.." Kisho said only to get bonked on the head hard by Megumi leaving a swollen lump. "OW!"

"YOU THINK!?" he shouted shaking his fist. "I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE EXORCIST THE CURSE BUT NOW BECAUSE OF THIS HE'S STUCK WITH US!" Megumi said.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW! I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE NICE LATER IN THE FUTURE BUT WE WILL HAVE TO KEEP TRYING WON'T WE?!" he said only for Megumi's eye to twtich.

"He's right. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. I'm sure he will be nice....if we try." Yuji said. Moments later, Yuji and Kisho were running out of the classroom with bunnies chasing them.

"COME ON MEGUMI!! WE WERE JUST SAYING!" Yuji said scared as he ran.

"YEAH, THAT'S NOT FAIR!!"

"GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE!!" He shouted chasing them as Kisho and Yuji runs off screaming for their lives. However, they will be sure to finish up the cleaning and maybe think of a way to get better with knowing Charlie. Maybe.

[lovelylotusf1]

Thank you for the tag @fueledbyremembering mwah!! :*

How many works do you have on AO3?

Since yesterday, 18. That’s a lot!!

What's your total AO3 word count?

AO3 says 96,173. Will I make it to 100k before the first year anniversary of my profile? I doubt it but anything can happen :D

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Love through the hook [751]

The Pet Name Challenge [721]

Open mouth, on my knees (for you) [674]

Sweet Kitten [585]

From crashes to kisses [465]

I really need to reread some of these, especially Pet Name Challenge because I do not remember much of what I wrote lmao. But thank you to everyone who likes my works, you’re the best <3

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love interacting with readers and also thanking them for taking the time to leave a nice comment. In the past, when I wasn’t yet a writer with my second account, I always got scared to comment if I saw authors didn’t reply, so now I am trying my best to answer! It sometimes takes some time for me to get around to them, but I love responding :D

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I do like to write angst from time to time but a completely angsty ending? I guess the ending to Cut open your Heart counts? Carlos didn’t have a good time there.

And maybe the freshly released Drowning (with you, in you) could be read as angsty, but in my mind, the fic is the first step towards a better ending for Pierre and Este! So, I intended it to be a bit ambiguous but hopeful at the same time, might still come across as angsty though. Maybe.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

That’s really difficult to answer because most of them end quite happy! Probably Eterni Rivali, though. I gave lesbian lestappen their cottagecore retirement + marriage ending.

Do you write crossovers?

Crossovers not really, but I like writing fusions! I don’t like to write “characters from fandom A meeting characters from fandom B”, but I DO like shoving f1 drivers into AUs, and sometimes that AU is based on another type of media (mentioning Eterni Rivali here again, because it’s a Pokemon AU).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no! I only ever got really lovely comments, and for that yet another big thank you for everyone <3

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I like writing smut that turns into a character study. Smut that says or shows something about the relationship of the characters I’m writing. Smut as a vehicle for characterisation, if you want to say it like that.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I … hope not? At least I’m not aware of it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I did! The first chapter of Sweet Kitten has a Russian translation and it makes me so happy that someone would spend so much time and effort on translating my silly stuff.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Technically no. But if you count RPing back in the days for a different fandom that ended up as an almost fully-fledged fic until my RP partner never responded back? Then yes.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Very difficult question. For F1, probably Landoscar. They’re my silly little cats that I can put into SO many situations!!

For other fandoms, there are so many Fire Emblem ships that I fondly think of. I couldn’t list all of them. (that’s also where my obsession with rivals/enemies to lovers comes from!)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I have a rival bakery lestappen AU from … December last year??? I don’t think that’s ever seeing the light of day, but I don’t have it in my heart to move it into the Abandoned folder.

What are your writing strengths?

Oh no, not the being nice to myself question! :((((

Coming up with fun concepts? I once got the compliment that my writing has a certain whimsy to it and that was so nice, it almost made me cry.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have certain word “friends” (which are filler and don’t do anything) that I need to search for every time I’m editing. I also know like two (2!!) rhetorical devices that I tend to overuse.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Only if the translation is easily accessible. Like creating footnote links (the links! part is especially important. I don’t like manually scrolling to the bottom) or having that cool AO3 work skin that lets you hover over a word with your mouse and it shows the translation.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’ve been creating OCs and writing little self-insert things for Pokemon since forever. But properly writing? Fire Emblem Fates, if you count RPing as writing fics!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I want to write something for Strollonso someday! They intrigue me greatly. Also Oscarmark, maybe, because I enjoy the rancid vibes.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Another really difficult question! Both my carcar fics are very dear to my heart. But “When the blood is dripping” was also so much fun to write!! I really can’t choose between the three.

Thank you for reading this long Q&A!

I’m tagging @wisteriagoesvroom @v3lnys and @1425fivefive if you have time and want to do it <3

[hollowfaith]

1, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

QUESTIONS FOR MUN

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

ughhhh this is hard...im gonna cheat and go for nostalgia ok

although i think i missed the mark with her muse in some places i have a special fondness for dahlia hawthorne and her specific brand of caustic sarcasm.

i don't think i've ever come up with so many different creative insults during her runtime...also she had the neatest mix of relationships with random muses, not just in AA cast (tho i remember her tormenting at least 3 different feenies??) but beyond, notably izaya and edward cullen comes to mind.

i also really liked my run as kasen kanesada because he's a very lyrical sword (or at least works hard to cultivate that image) so i had to express that in writing and ended up having a lot of fun doing flowery replies and making up poetry and generally going big ham. (it did take a lot of mental energy though so i started losing steam later on.)

i remember he had a thread with FGO Shakespeare that was pretty nice cause we got to be nerdy and talk about eastern/western literature lolololol, then for his challenge he had to kill like 5 ppl in 24 hours so i actually got 5 volunteers to get decapitated and RP'd mini threads with them all, which was wild (and again a very, very random mix of muses including X-Files Fox Mulder)

i didn't RP OCs back then but i like them a lot now too! the lack of art is an unfortunate reality but the amount of customization you get in exchange...so powerful.

5. What is the most difficult thing about writing your current muse?

stupid guy won't just kiss klaus and marry him that would solve 99% of their problems hey klaus are u listening u need to seduce this idiot or something so his brain has nothing but u all day to keep him out of mischief hey hey klaus

ahem

also his unspoken obligation to be lawful good (in his POV) really limits his ability to "act out," so sometimes i need to find different ways to de-escalate situations before he hits moral event horizon. you know, flattery and adoration goes a long way in wrapping him around your finger, i'm surprised more people don't try (i guess they can't stand him long enough to get there lol)

7. Who was the very first muse you ever wrote?

i remember answering this question on another meme maybe...?

there's a more accurate answer now: pre-tumblr, i remember RPing a Lopmon on some digimon forum once upon a time. also remember the mod that was RPing with me called me out for "slight godmodding" because i was describing how my digimon was crossing a bridge and apparently that was taking things too much into my own hands LOLOL

8. Have you ever written a novel? If not, does it interest you?

i've started written novels but i haven't finished any except for like, a couple of original oneshots. technically Veoc is a supporting character/love interest (spoilers: he's not the canon pairing) in a sci-fi story where i have the general plot laid out but y'know, actually writing it is... *flops down*

9. Do you write fanfiction, or have you in the past?

i definitely wrote more in the past but i've slowed down to a trickle since then. uhhhh i want to start up again, maybe with drabbles/oneshots, but i need to catch up on canon first before i try to do the characters justice

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

god a part of me regrets giving Aury his fancy brackets b/c i have to copy/paste that thing in every reply

so yeah i am never doing that again i just wanna open up a post and type my reply and be done with it, bless.

same with icons as long as they show a face and expression (or even body part) im happy wheee i've got plots to write

11. When did you start roleplaying?

i can't remember...gotta be probably early to mid high school cause i didn't know RP existed back then

12. Have you roleplayed anywhere other than tumblr?

forums, emails, tried a LJ group but my app got rejected so i didn't even get in (ROFL), tumblr has been the most stable medium with most long-term interactions though

[puzzledmemories]

((i...ended up leaving early from work today. i still don't think i can talk about what happened. i've been requested to keep it private until my brother who lives a couple hours away learns, and i don't think he knows yet. i'm going to try to work a full day tomorrow. i spent a half hour at work just crying at my desk. i don't think anyone noticed thankfully, but it's really unlike me to do that.))

((i don't know why my mom's requested to keep this quiet when i don't think my brother's very emotionally attached to the situation, but, i'll do it anyway.))

((and when i got home i didn't have it in me to do much besides eat. i stared at my dash on here and didn't have it in me to...do anything. i feel really shitty about it. i'm really sorry. as hard as working was today, being home was also hard.))

((i wouldn't even be bringing any of this up if it wasn't hampering my ability to get myself to rp. i had a couple of rought weeks at work that just sapped my energy and made writing so hard, and as soon as work calms down and i start getting my mojo back...i tried my best today. all i could really do is exist.))

((i'm hoping tomorrow will be better. i will work, unless i really feel like i can't, and when i am home, i will try to write. i know rping's all about fun and people are kind and patient and i appreciate it a lot. right now i just want to write to cope with things. i guess i just needed a break today.))

((might try to write a little at work. saturdays are usually okay for that. also taking my nintendo switch to work in case i need that for a distraction. i'm alone in the office on saturdays right now. who cares. in any case, i'll try again tomorrow!))

((I appreciate everyone on here. Everyone here is so nice and kind.))

[aventurins]

author's portrait.

— basics.

name. wen age. 27 pronouns. she/her + any years of writing. um. i started rping on [redacted] in the khr fandom and eventually caved into joining the tumblr rpc in 2012. so.. 12 years now i guess. that's wild

— reflection.

why did you pick up writing? at first i really enjoyed the community aspect of rping! it was fun just playing a character and getting to meet new people and developing relationships, both ic and ooc, that way. do you have any writing routines? yes step one is my writing partner tells me they want to see [x] or they miss [x] or they're thinking about [x]. and then usually i sit down and write it. i do have a playlist that occasionally helps facilitate writing but it's not a requirement for it per se, and also the playlist rotates every few seasons and/or when my current favorite genre of music shifts. for the real answer: when i'm actually writing i try to picture the scene/setting first, and from there i tend to hear what my muse is saying in the dialogue before writing the rest of the scene around it what's your favorite part about writing? getting to read my partners' replies. hope that helps<3

— three things you like about your writing.

i do want to preface this by saying that i don't mean this in a self deprecating way at all. i'm generally pretty satisfied with my writing, especially with regards to achieving what i want to convey. but. i will always derive most pleasure from how my partners respond to what i've written. so. three things i like about my writing is 1. i (try to) write in a way that reflects my partner's writing, especially when it comes to setting the tone, so that the thread feels more cohesive as a whole, 2. (i hope) i'm good at setting up each reply so that my partners find it easy to pick out something to bounce off of in their response, 3. my partners enjoy writing with me. so i must be doing something right because i love and trust them unequivocally

— question(s) from @slaygue.

who was the first character you ever picked up and why? if we include off tumblr, it was probably half the khr cast but most prominently bel. at the age of 15 i just thought he was so cool. on tumblr it was (to my chagrin) mukuro. was it because you related to them or the opposite? i think when i was choosing who to write back then it was more "who do i think the community would want to interact with" and less "who do i want to write the most". sure, there was a certain intersection between that and the flavor of characters i liked, but it was. yeah. mostly that. and then mukuro grew on me. i don't relate to him at all btw . loser. bonus answer: my muse type varies wildly on the spectrum of relatability. i'll write any character at all if i think they're fun or fascinating or if anyone asks me to do you still write them today? if you want me to<3 (barring that, rarely)

— new question(s).

what do you enjoy writing the most? (whether in terms of genre, plot device, character; however you'd like to interpret this question is correct.) when you write, do you focus more on introspection, narrative, dialogue or a secret fourth thing? what do you enjoy seeing in a partner's writing?

tagged by: @slaygue ♥

tagging: i follow two people on this blog so @soterion hi. also starr i'm not letting you cop out on three things you like about your writing. can you do this again and say three things you like about MY wri- (this is a joke). also @aicidos and @piliyi hi haha i won't subject you guys to hsr (this blog) but you can do this if you want<3

[system-of-a-feather]

(Trauma talk, grooming, etc; recovery and positive focused, but topics are still there)

You know, I usually really dislike commenting on anything about our groomer doing what he did in any sort of light, but this far into our trauma processing regarding it and honestly being much older and having a best friend who - while not directly targeted - was aggressively bullied and attacked by said groomer in an attempt to isolate us, it's kinda always a really fun moment to sometimes in video calls go

".... so we're 23 / almost 23 now right? Soo what was that fuck face doing at our age again? Oh right, being pathetic for XYZ reasons lol"

Cause like literally, like context matters and I don't think any trait really makes someone "inherently pathetic" but the dude literally spent a good like... five plus years of his early adult hood ARGUING with eleven year olds INCLUDING roasting one eleven year old to ANOTHER eleven year old about how "his writing is so bad and hes bad at RPing unlike us" where he LITERALLY self reports that he, an ACTUAL ADULT has the writing skills of a tween.

At my age he was sad fiddling around about how me - at the time 16 - decided I was done with him and """broke up""" with him.

Like, its really carthartic to see where I am and just sit back with my bestie and go "Aight so its our birthday week (we are literally a week apart in age), so lets catch up, what were the loosers in our life doing and look at how fucking pathetic they were in the light of actually having an adult brain"

Like between Lin being largely over it, and honestly at this point even I'm starting to get over it other than habitual defense mechanisms being hard to drop without the general anxiety that PTSD instills around choosing to let defenses go, like....

Dude was such an honest to god pathetic looser dooming his own life to failure that I'm honestly starting to somewhat get over the insatiable need for retribution that used to distress me a lot. Some part in my probably still wants it, but not to the level they used to cause honestly - his own miserable existence will punish him plenty.

As far as I'm concerned he banked years into trying to groom a perfect Christian wife and that clearly didn't go anywhere and I guess in that way, he fucking took an L as well there. Cause real talk, I'm not the one that wasted a chunk of what many consider to be the "prime" years (" " cause I don't really think there is a prime, but ya know, colloquial social concepts and sayings) sitting with children online writing at a like 4th grade level.

[plumblossombouquet]

after 5 long months ive logged onto this account. ive cleaned it up of any cluttering posts. i feel a lot of regret for how ive handled certain things and for how harshly ive always treated myself. i had tried to be optimistic on this blog, you can see it, but deep down i was miserable. this isnt a sob story post, it is more of an update and analyzing myself too. because to analyze me back then and me now is to see growth as a person.

tbh i was struggling with a lot of things months ago and even relapsed in things i wouldn’t have imagined i would have. this isnt for validation at all, i like writing things publicly like this, like a note for myself? idk. 

i know i would make comments about my mental state back then “how it got better” but that was never the case. it was temporary. 

to be quite honest, i will get into the real real gist of it. i had moved out of my parents place like in october of 2022. living with my family has always been stressful, i wont go into that though. my roommate was an incredibly selfish and two-faced person. there were red flags but i either hadnt noticed or ignored them. she was a complete pos, imo, and even reveled in being one. she was even gross and her sister who also lived with us was also gross. i feel bad for her cat bc she wouldnt clean the litter box that much until she wasnt so “depressed”. i am honestly not sure, i put quotation marks bc honestly i feel that she was just lazy as fuck. she was one of those girls who followed trends and went out clubbing a lot and had lots of hook ups. i dont know man, maybe i seem like an asshole but ive struggled with depression since i was a kid and still find energy to clean my cats litter box. granted, i have better coping mechanisms and thought processes and am just in general in a better place mentally but idk i love my cats to death and feel like a dickwad when i even go a couple of hours over with cleaning their litter box. she also didnt try to help with her cat becoming obese basically and stuff, so yea. sorry for the long tangent, my roommate was a dickwad.

after moving out of that hell hole (i wasnt apart of the lease so it was p easy), i think i moved out beginning of february? well, situations happen and i move out of parents place with my bf at the end of february. place ends up being fucking infested with bed bugs and the landlord lady was a bitch and so yea. i moved in and out like 4 times in the span of november 2022-march 2023 i think? tbh, that was all pretty stressful. but i think the good thing out of it was my cats are indoor cats now and i love taking care of them.

while cleaning my posts of clutter, i had a wave of nostalgia both good and bad. it wasnt that long ago but it feels like it. i loved rping hu tao and i think a lot of the reason as to why i could never rp with a lot of ppl was because i was harsh to myself and held myself back. i felt like i didnt properly convey hu tao’s portrayal and compared myself to other hu taos. it is easy to compare because it isnt your writing or portrayal. i could look at myself, be a harsh critique about my looks, but at the end of the day there could always be someone out there that sees things differently. in a more positive and less judgemental light, ig. i also had and still struggle with social anxiety. it has gotten better and perhaps it has helped that ive learned to be more understanding of myself like i am with others.

i love hu tao as a character and always will. and id love to come back to her! but tbh i have fallen out of the game and havent been playing it. i havent played the event including hu tao. i am not sure yet if i am going to make such a commitment to rping again but looking back at the posts made me feel a bit happy. i kinda like how i wrote her, i liked interacting and being goofy. 

so, there is that, i guess. 

[saphirafoxgirlspost1]

guess..i have to wait alone...

Bad Dark..and cruel thoughts that i want to ignore but couldn't : "hehe well well...looks like no one rp with you all day long~...guess anon was right about you...your a loser..you suck...you've done horrible in the past..and now look at you...all alone... waiting for someone to come and then..leave you into a dark..and your art..Pfft..don't make me laugh...your never a good artist..it has no values...your just a bastard..who wanted to improve..but no matter what...you'll never get your love back...after all..annmod was right All about you...your nothing but a "Toxic", "Evil", "Sicko"..Little Shit!...and your dumb as a Sack of Diapers as well..just like what "Bunch-of-once-lers" said to you after you unfollow them...they're so happy that you left them..they all "Hate" you so much...and Your No "Famous Tumblrer"...your nothing but a big dripped..who cause their friends so much troubles...causing triggers...and hurting others...and now being the most "Hated" Blogger in the world~ hehehe~...Face it..Ms. Fox...your "Nothing" but a Bottom feeder and a "People pleaser"...your sistery best friend celestie abandoned you..and called you toxic behind your back...such a shame...and other..who left you to dust...And Now...look around you....you lost...everything....and now..your forever..be..Tumblr INfamous now..and NO ONE Will Rp with you...ever again...plus..They hate saphira because they believe that she's a big fat whore..who loves to have babies and all..your sick in the head...tumblr is expected.."perfection" and well ordered...but you..to everyones eyes..you..are nothing but Smut queen..and it's.."Disgusting"...*laughs evily* I mean..the reason why your "Friends" Rp with you..is because..they felt sorry for you...but they never "Cared" about you...your horrible of rping..just like anons said to you...you should've listen to them...you should've quit while your ahead.. *laughs cruely..as it wrapped around me..and i felt heart sinking* Me:

Bad Thoughts: "and also my dear...No matter how many times..when you make an Open Rp..."NO ONE" will Rp with you....Even if they're busy...but to me...They're trying to Advoid you..because they knew what you did...and want nothing to do with you...ever~

And trust me my dear..... You'll never become an artist...or Tumblr famous again.. and believe me...you hurt everyone..and now...your...alll...alone... Me: *lower my head..and sniffles softly*

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

||Summoning Chaos: Part 2||

Hello Hello, it's me again with a surprise Drabble. I'm writing a part 2 for my friend from the first one. If you wanna read it, just click this here. So lets see what is going on now hmm?

||Drabble summary||

It seems a lot has happened after the incident involving Ink's great sword. So one could be wondering: Where were the six claws of the blue dragon during the 'Great summoning incident' by Ink's sword. What happened with them or what did Wyvern do. Read to find out!

||Warning||

~Swearing

~A strong head bonks to a certain blue dragon

~Silly funny moments

||Guests in drabble||

~((Guests in this drabble))~

The DBT belong to the wonderful friend of mine Demon mun that runs @demon-blood-youths Please follow her she's amazing <3 Her muses are a mess but I love them so much.

My muses:

My Canon Muses ( Midoriya, Bakguo, Rin, Ren, Atsushi and Denji )(Belongs in their anime/manga but also me due to rping as them as my muses))

Davion belongs and is from the hit series: DOTA: Dragon's blood but he's also my muse due to me rping as him. Some of the other fractions are also mentioned in this drabble too. Along with some other guests too. :3

((Heads up their will be grammar mistakes and other mistakes in this drabble but as stated before, this was written for fun and for my friend. Thank you for understanding and please enjoy.))

It seems a lot had happened during the even of Ink's sword Wyvern caused a big mess with the other fractions. Davion was already seeing it was passing like it never happened...till now. After all that, Ink wanted to try again while showing Davion she gotten better.

Did this happen with anyone else? Well, Davion got his answer when getting a visit from six guys. The six claws of the blue dragon; or to say in short: Ink's mates. Ren Amamiya, Atsushi Nakajima, Bakugo Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Rin Okumura, and Denji Hayakawa were visiting her cousin but he was just offering some food and drinks with Ink who was happily eating some home made double stuffed cheese crust pizza with all her favorite toppings on it. She had a smile on her face chewing while her cheeks were flushed but stuffed.

Yeah, still cute.

However, the guys except for Ren was nervous seeing Ink's cousin again who had his arms crossed over his chest. They knew he was very protective of his cousin so he wonders what they were here for.

"Sooo what do you gentlemen need while coming to visit my cousin and me?" he asked.

"We don't mean to bother you and her. We just wanted to speak to you about well.....her sword-"

"Wyvern right?" he said seeing the boys look at him.

"Hold on, you know about her sword?" Bakugo asked that Davion looks to him.

"Of course I know about the sword. My uncle gave her that sword and....we had some little mishaps two weeks ago so. I figure you guys had something happen related to that?" he asked as the six claws said nothing. Seems so to make Davion sigh.

"What happened????"

"Well, we had different times it happened so I guess we can go first? It happened back in Japan when Ink and her friends helped us out.." Midoriya said remembering.

~~~~~~Flashback#1~~~~~~~

"Bwahhhahahah! You fools!!! You'll never stop me!" A villain shouts pointing at Ink with the DBT and having Izuku and Bakugo with her. This guys was causing a problem here and causing a ruckus now.

"This guy is so full of himself! I swear it's annoying as shit!" Navarro said but holding his rocket launcher annoyed with Shdwkyz agreeing with him. Though villains tend to show off from time to time.

"How about we just knock his block off and shut him up!?" Bakugo said annoyed ready to do that but as he tried to dash towards him, the villain dodges while laughing.

"Missed me! I thought you heroes were suppose to be all cool! You will NEVER catch me! XD" he said while the DBT thinks.

"We will stop you! I mean, who would destory a perfect pizza spot!" Ink said with some sweatdropping. Oh right. He blew up a pizza place Bakugo showed her a while back. But that's not the point here!

"Oh! And what would the little lady do!? You can't stop me!" he laughed.

"Oh yeah! I will stop you!" Ink said pointing but the villain looks to her about to get something but stops to blink. "Uhhhhhh..."

"Ink? What's wrong?" Izuku asked as Ink said nothing but turns to him and the others rubbing the back of her head with eyes closed, smiling.

"I forgot my sword!" she laughed nervously as everyone falls to the ground twitching.

'Ink seriously!?' Navarro said in his mind. The villian blinks to sweatdrop.

"Uhhhh.."

"Just hold on! I'll just summon him!" Ink said but raised her hand to the air. "Wyvern!!!" she shouts out loud holding her hand up but waits.

.........And nothing.

"Wyvern!" she waited again waving her hand but she sighs now looking annoyed. "Oh not again. Wyvern! WYVERN!!" she now shouts as the Villain looks more confused.

'What the hell???' he thought seeing Ink shouting.

"WYVERN! YOU GET YOUR BUTT HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME!!" she shouted as the DBT said nothing with Bakugo and Izuku was silent too.

"Wait, didn't she leave the sword at the UA-Dorms?" Izuku said.

~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~

The class of 1-A was minding their own business eating some lunch and hoping the DBT along with Izuku and Bakugo was alright. True, Ink left Wyvern here but as soon as Kirishima walks by, he heard a thud. "Huh?" he looks to see the sword laying down.

"What's wrong?" Mina asked as she sees Ink's sword now laying on the floor. "Uhhh, wasn't that against the wall-" Suddenly, the sword lets out a giant gust of wind in the living room pushing the two heroes back right into the others.

"Woah! What happened!?" Sato said but everyone looks to see Wyvern now smashing through the wall as the heroes of 1-A screams in a panic.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT THING WAS ALIVE!!" Denki said pointing as he ducks hearing it smash through the hall and upstairs. But he also heard some screams from upstairs seeing it was some of the girls like Momo rushing down with Jiro.

"What the heck is going on!? Why is the sword alive!?" she said pointing hearing glass breaking.

"WE DON'T KNOW!" Some shouted but quickly heard it smash down to aim to the others. "EVERYONE GET DOWN!" Ida said as everyone goes down as it smashes through the window leaving a destroyed UA dorm building. Everyone was shook seeing the sword flying off but didn't know how to respond to that.

"I told you it was alive. You owe me 20 bucks, Sero.." Mineta said but the class looks to them in silence. "What?"

~~~With the others~~~~

"This...I don't get what is happening here." The villain was confused as Ink was still trying to call her sword. The DBT was a bit embarrassed seeing their leader just shouting and calling it but Izuku and Bakugo sighed.

"Ink, I don't think it's going to-"

"NO no! It will. Damn it, Wyvern!! Where the heck are youuuu!!" she shouts before hearing something woosh by. "Huh?"

"Wait, what is-" As the Villian speaks, something hard hits him behind the head and into the street cracking it. The DBT winces from that but saw Wyvern! Ink held her hand up to catch it but it smashes into her nose as Ink yelps in pain.

"OWWWWWW!!! Ugh, I hate when you do that!" she said to Wyvern annoyed. "Nevermind! Alright you villian, lets go!" Ink said pointing her greatsword at the guy but...she blinks seeing he was gone. "Huh? Where did he go?" Hellmare walks over to tap her shoulder getting Ink's attention and points. The villian was knocked out with a large lump on his head groaning.

"Huh?!? NO way, I didn't even get to fight!" Ink said that the others sigh. Hours later, Mr. Henderon has to explain to the students and the teachers while he was assuring they would pay for the damages. Ink was sad she didn't get to fight but at least it was not too bad...no it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

".....Wait, that happened?" Davion asked with Izuku nodding.

"Yes. Ink was more sad the guy was knocked out before fighting him." Bakugo said but Ink looks to smile.

"Sorrie!" she giggled but Davion looks to her then at them.

"Okay. That's one story. What about you?" he asked Ren.

"Well, it was involving a mission of changing someone's heart...." he said.

~~~~Flashback#2~~~~~

"You wont' get away with this!!" Panther said struggling in her ropes with the other Phantom Thieves with The DBT who was there. The guy was laughing seeing his new targets while he was holding a knife.

"Oh come now, you guys lost. Think of it as a win-win situation. Now, you guys wont' be able to stop me!" he laughed with Ink struggling in her own ropes.

"Ughhhh you won't get away with this! I'll kick your butt for this!" she said but the guy laughed finding Ink funny.

"Good luck with that. I have the famous Phantom Thieves and the DBT as prisoners. You won't be able to stop me!" he smiled with Ink struggling.

"That's what you think! Wyvern!!" she shouts as the guy blinks seeing Ink waiting but blinks. "Wyvern!?" she shouts again but the other members blink confused.

"Uhhh Joker, what is she doing?" Panther asked.

"...She's trying to-" Seconds later they heard something break upstairs in this place. "Huh?"

"Wyvern! Will you get over here and help!!! Where are you!?!" she said but the guy really was confused before hearing some glass breaking. "The hell!?" he looks up seeing something smashing through his house or palace as it shows shreads of paper, books, and other things being destroyed.

"NOOOO!! WHAT THE HELL IS DOING THAT!?" he said going to try and stop it but the others now worked on getting loose hearing the guy screaming in a panic. "WHY IS THEIR A DRAGON SWORD MOVING?! IS IT ALIVE-NO STOP! DON'T DESTROY THAT!" he said trying to stop Wyvern. The Phantom Thieves was shocked hearing this and the DBT sighing. Not again.

"Maybe we should leave before we get crushed?" skull said as everyone quickly rushes out to see the wooshing of a blade breaking, smashing, and burning everything and the guy screaming.

"So that's where he took Wyvern huh? Dang it.I knew he stole him from me!" she said with arms crossed. In a while, the house came crashing down in rubble. This left everyone shocked but heard pained groans of the guy crawling out crying.

".........."

"I'm going to just call the cops.." Hellmare said doing that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

".....Ink.."

"Sorrie. I didn't know that jerk took him till I woke up from being knocked out with the others." she said.

"It's true but my team was shocked seeing such a thing happen. But thanks to it, everything he had was destroyed to send him to jail." Ren said.

"Okay, that explains. Who is going next?" he asked seeing Denji and Rin go.

"Well, ours is just something normal for us." Rin said.

~~~~~~Flashback#3~~~~~~~~

"Come on guys, we need to kill this thing!" Rin was holding his blade Kurikara as the blue flames burn around him. Denji and Ink was on either side seeing a monster like demon roaring out destroying what was close.

Denji was in his chainsaw man form trying to cut this thing down but it was pretty big as it smacks him into the building. He groans from the smack with Ink and Rin charging but gets hit away as well.

"Damn it!" He lands but catches Ink who was set down.

"Thanks Rin! We need to get rid of it before it destroys this place!" she said.

"I know but we need to do something!" he said.

"I know! I can cut it down while you distract it!" she said as Rin looks to her.

"Sounds like a plan!" he said rushing to attack the feral demon with Denji helping as Ink got ready to summon her great sword. "Wyvern!" she calls out for him waiting but nothing showed up.

"Ugh, not again. Wyvern!" she shouts again waving her hand hard for it but nothing.

"Uhhhh Ink, Could you hurry!? Were struggling a little!" Rin said ducking from a swipe as Denji was cutting into it.

"Uhh trying! Just hold on!" she said. "Wyvern!!" she kept trying again and again. "Grrrrrr...WYVERN! GET OVER HERE NOW! STOP BEING A DUMB BUTT AND GET OVER HERE RIGHT-" As she said this, something flies by quickly that a slich like noise was heard. She blinks seeing Rin and Denji fall but saw the feral demon's head but clean cut off. The two blink seeing this but the body falls back with a loud thud. However, the sword flies right towards Ink but not in her had but right in her face. "GAH!" It made her crash to the ground knocked out.

"INK!" Both Rin and Denji rushes over seeing her twitching.

"HEY YOU DAMN SWORD! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT TO INK!?" Denji said about to grab Wyvern but it headbutts him hard in the head sending him flying to a building knocking him out.

That just leaves a very confused Rin standing there. "....What the hell just happened?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So that's what happened." Ink said remember rubbing her forehead the other boys sighed while Davion pets her head. Well, seems Wyvern caused more trouble than he though.

"Huh, that was....geez." he said.

"And I still got the mark from him after he knocked me out." Denji grumbles.

"Okayyyyy.....and what about you Atsushi? I believe your the last one." Davion asked.

"Well....mine was sorta the same but different.."

~~~~~~~~~~Flashback#4~~~~~~~~~~

"So what do we do now? I heard that they have some special going on." Atsushi asked the DBT and some of the ADA members while they were all having lunch. Dazai was humming a bit.

"I don't know I heard some food was pretty good." he said smiling as everyone relaxed. However, that's when something loud was banging on the door. "??????"

"I wonder who that could be?" Dazai asked. Before anyone got up to answer, the door got smashed down by someone showing a rather very angry Ryunosuke Akutagawa with Chuya as well. Both said nothing but Ink blinks.

"Hi Chuya! Are you here to visit!?" Ink said but he looks to her.

"You!!! This is your fault!!" he said in a serious tone.

"Ummmm, is their a problem?" Fosh asked.

".....You could say that. But we need to talk about your leader and the destruction that damn sword of hers did!" Wait, what!?

"Uhhhh..what are you talking about?" Jaron asked but that's when another shows up with some others.

"What am I talking about!? I'm taking about that damn sword that did some damage to Port mafia!?" Chuya said.

"Huh?!?"

"Well, so this is where the little destroyer is hmm?" The group blinks hearing the tone to see a male walk in. Ogai Mori was there that some blinks.

"Oh no, what is wrong now Mori?" Yukichi Fukuzawa asked but Mori sighed.

"Lets just say we need to speak to you about some things. Do you have a meeting room?"

The DBT and ADA blinks wondering what this is about.

~~~~~Hours later~~~~~~

"I'm telling you it was because of that damn sword! What was it called Wyvern! Yeah! Your leader's damn sword crashed through three of the buildings. Were you planning some attack on us!?" Chuya said pointing at Dazai.

"Hmm? No???? I mean, we are all friends here aren't we? We didn't attack or plan a attack on you guys." he said with a casual shrug that Chuya twitched annoyed.

"YOU DAMN SON OF A-"

"Chuya, enough." Ryu said but he looks to Ink with arms crossed. "As what he means, your 'weapon' destroyed or caused heavy damage and we are unsure if this is your way of attacking or breaking our little peace agreement we made with one another." he said in a cold tone making the DBT tense.

"Wait, Wyvern did that? I thought I had him back in the hotel back during that....." she said scratching her head but Chuya sighs.

"Well, seems not! Your damn sword did a lot of damage! If you want proof here!" He slams some pictures for the DBT to see as Hellmare looks. She saw pretty bad damage done to three of the buildings. Seems they were not joking.

"Oh dear.."

"See?! I mean what the hell!? I thought you were going to not attack us we didn't even do anything!" he said.

"Look, she didn't mean to! Wyvern has well..it's not like a normal weapon! It's hard to explain what that sword is but it's not what you think!" Maggie said but the DBT was trying to explain with the two leaders listen to this.

"So what are you guys going to do!? You got some explaining to do!" Chuya said glaring but Mori pats his back to calm him down but makes him sit.

"Now now..I'm sure we can find a way for Miss Van Ink to pay for the damages. Though, Maybe you have a idea? Because if not..I'm afraid we will have to find another way for you to pay us back for the damages." Mori said smiling in a cold way sending shivers down the DBT's backs except Ink.

"Hold on, I'm sure we don't have to result in a fight-"

"And you don't think so? Our friend here damaged a lot of things..so unless you have a way to explain why this happened I'm afraid we'll have to punish you for it." Mori said as the DBT got ready to fight with the ADA as well till suddenly....

"WAITTTTTTTT!!"

Everyone blinks to see someone show up but saw it was Matt Knack? Ryu blinks seeing him here as he was just getting here thanks to Shrika giving him a lift.

"Hold on a moment! You don't have to do that!" he said walking in.

"And why not Matt? Can you explain why?" He asked.

"Yeah, I can! Wyvern tends to do that a lot. It does it back home as well, believe me I've seen it." Matt said as Mori blinks with Ryu and Chuya confused.

"Hold on, that sword is alive then!?"

"Yep!" Matt smiles.

".....I....what the fuck!?" Chuya shouts.

"...So when it was moving around like it was possessed it was alive or is?" Ryu asked.

"Yeah, he's alive but he tends to do this a lot. He did a lot of damage back home before so. So believe me, this is nothing new." Matt explains to his mate while Ryu was silent about it. Both Fukuzawa and Mori didn't know that but looks to Ink who laughs nervously.

"........I see....Well, that's something new to know...." he said with Fosh sighing.

"Ummm M..Mr. Mori? We are so sorry for Wyvern. But we can give you a check to pay for the damages." he said but Mori looks to him as Fosh looked nervous. "That would be nice.." he said but Dazai was curious.

"Jaron, I am wondering: what does Matt mean?" he asked.

"Well..you see.." Jaron explains to Dazai what happened to the other. In a few moments, Dazai blinks.

"Wait, really?" he said seeing Jaron nod. His response...

"PPHHHFFFANNAHAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! XDDDD" Dazai bursts out laughing hard while falling out of his chair holding his stomach.

"STOP LAUGHING DAZAI, IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Chuya shouted.

"YES IT IS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"STOP LAUGHING!"

"OH GOD MY STOMACH! I COULD DIE FROM THIS!! HAHAHAHAHA!!"

Everyone blinks seeing this but The DBT sighs with Fosh writing a check to Port mafia.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Uhhh..."

"Yeah, Dazai was laughing so hard he was doing this for a whole hour till we had to stop him. But, that's what happened with all of us due to the great sword." Atsushi said with Davion thinking.

"..Who would have thought that sword made even more trouble..." he mutters. "But, at least I know." he said with a sigh.

"Yeah, but we are not blaming Ink or anything but still.."

"I know, I know. As she said, Wyvern has a mind of his own so...if your going to be with my cousin, you have to know that. But...thanks for telling me." he said as the boys nod.

"Though, I'm still serious about you guys being there for Ink so please don't do anything stupid to hurt or harm her...or else." he said as the boys tense.

"Y..Yes sir." they said while Ink happily was eating like nothing was wrong. Well, at least it was fine again.....or peaceful without another thing breaking from Wyvern.

[northpolebear]

a couple little reminders from the North Pole: 

while this blog is aimed at spreading love and positivity throughout the rpc, this isn’t a rp blog, so any ic-type asks sent (that require a more in depth answer than a ‘thanks for the cola, friend’ or something similar) will be politely and lovingly deleted. I appreciate it, but as I have my own rp blog(s), in order for this one to remain focused on spreading love, I need to gently decline from actively rping as the Bear.

speaking of me having my own rp blog(s), I will also politely decline to answer asks or messages asking for my url(s). I don’t want anyone feeling any obligation to follow my rp blog(s) or send me nice things there or write with me there just because I’m also the Bear, and I also don’t want to feel any personal pressure to follow back people who’ve started following my rp blog(s) because I’m the Bear. I keep my following list on my rp blog(s) fairly small, I’m somewhat selective with who I follow, there are some fandoms I prefer to avoid writing in, etc, and I don’t want to worry about offending anyone. I can assure you though that the vast majority of you wouldn’t even know who I am anyway – I’m trying to reach as many corners of the rpc as I possibly can with this blog so I’m seeing a much, much wider variety on this dash than my rp blog(s), so the percentage of you following me on the Bear who are following (or even aware of) my rp blog(s) is a very small percentage. some of you following the Bear are people who I follow from my rp blog(s) and don’t follow me back, some of you following the Bear are people who follow my rp blog(s) and I don’t follow back, some of you following the Bear are people who are mutuals with me on my rp blog(s), and again, the percentage of people who fall into any one of those three categories is very small.

but this is asked periodically, so, as I think I’ve said before, if anyone thinks you know who I am and want to ask privately, I’ll answer honestly, I won’t lie about it; though in all the years I’ve been doing the Bear, I’ve only ever had two friends who guessed and asked me privately.

I’m enjoying the anonymity, because as much fun as it is to get love from someone you know, isn’t it also fun to get love from someone when you don’t know who it is? is it a little surprise, a secret admirer, or a fluffy little bear! and please again, part of the reason I like the anonymity is because I do not at all, ever, want anyone to think that they owe me anything or are obligated to follow me/write with me/etc to return any sort of favor. the Bear is here to spread love, warmth, and kindness throughout the rpc, no strings attached!

thank you for understanding! xoxo NPB

[ask-modern-demon]

// Yo, so...long time no see huh? As you can tell by the format of this post, this is going to be another vent post type of deal. I feel bad that it's not something like "Yo! Guess who's back to rping with my inky modern boi again?!" but my spark to rp Modern has kind of just been...as dead and dormant as it's ever been, I apologize about that. I'm kind of just making this post for the sake of the fact that I kind of just want to write out these feelings I've had for quite awhile (a few months actually) that I've just never wrote out till now.

I was going to write out how I've been feeling since the last vent post I've made but decided against it as I was just like 'there's probably no point in speaking on it and yada yada yada" So I'm just gonna write it all out here so it can...maybe lift a lot of it off my shoulders? I don't know.

So, I've been on Tumblr for quite a long time, since 2014 to be exact. My first blog was kind of just a blog where a young me just liked and reblogged a bunch of random shit, nothing too spectacular. I then started getting into rping a bit after though, I was pretty shit at it at first but that was what helped me grow to be as good at writing as I am now (If I can even consider my rps up to this point 'good writing' lol)

After my first blog, I soon went on to create two more blogs, @ask-funfred-and-bon-blog/@ask-funtimefred-and-bon-blog and this blog that became the origins of my modern inky boi. I made a few more rp blogs after these but I feel like these two were the ones I enjoyed writing for the most and probably had the biggest impact on me.

Through these blogs, I had made a good amount of friends on here, I was never the real friend magnet irl so to have friends who enjoyed to have me around just as much as I enjoyed their own presence (even though we all lived miles away from each other) really made me happy. I had even made a whole Discord server just for me and a ton of my other Tumblr buds to just hang out.

However, irl shit started to catch up with me and it flipped my mental health into a loop. I never spoke about these specific things with them as I kind of had this mindset of: "Oh! They probably have a ton of shit they're going through too! Shouldn't burden them with my troubles! I'll just wait things out and things should work through!"

However, that was quite the opposite and it didn't really get no better, and due to these troubles my own spark for rping began to dwindle little by little, I even got this weird ass idea where I was like "I'm gonna make this really awesome storyline that brings every character from my blogs together and I'll end it off with a really awesome ending and then quit rping for good!" Which, news flash, it was shit, don't even try to look for it, I think I even deleted it due to how bad and cringe it was. Think that's just one of those moments where you look back at something you made and think...Damn, what was I thinking when I made this?

Eventually, things became too much and I kind of just...vanished from Tumblr. I deleted my old Discord that I had created so any contact I had with my old Tumblr friends had vanished and I just overall stopped posting. At that point I was like, this is it, I'll never touch this site again, I'm done rping for good.

After that, I kind of just went on with my life until a few years down the line I had felt that spark for rping chime back in me once again. I had made maybe like...one or two new blogs for characters I was interested in rping with and even came back here to write for Modern again. However, the spark soon faded out once more, and it was just a constant cycle of write and don't write and write and don't write.

There then became a point where I'd find myself looking back at old threads I'd wrote with some of my old Tumblr buds, people who I had long stopped talking to at that point since by the time I returned they had either deactivated by then or just left their blog to rot and moved on to another, some were even still active but it had been so long that I'm not even sure they would want to speak to me after so long.

I started to just be like...damn, if I had just talked about my issues back then, I would still have those people in my friend group, I wouldn't feel as alone as I've been feeling, I missed the way things used to be way back then, sometimes I wonder if that's a stupid thing to think.

A good chunk of these friends I had managed to get back in touch with due to me making another Discord, but not only was I too scared to just...send a message when I had them friended, but the friends I managed to have a convo with...didn't really seem too interested in talking to me (Which isn't their fault at all, they aren't obligated to talk to me as that would just make me feel bad ^^'')

And now I'm here...writing this whole thing out because I'm kind of just tired of thinking and feeling these things when I come back here so I just want to write them all out and be done with it.

If you read all the way to the end, you really didn't have to ^^'' but I appreciate it nonetheless. I hope you have a wonderful and blessed day and yeah...Yen signing out!

[spikeinthepunch]

i forget i had a phase where i had considered getting into ARPGs on deviantart ("art RPG" for those unaware, basically a system of drawing characters with light RP elements, usually earning you a in-universe/game currency to do more/get more of a character/breed/etc)

i was in the depths of wcrp, and i wasnt super into the idea of juggling rping *and* drawing-- that was one thing that made me step back from one i was in. some of these groups were not really... rp groups, they were art groups first. the narrative focused rps i did with wcrp were about writing and forming a large world and story- with no currency or anything to progress. nothing but participating in rp was recquired. most of the arpgs do have lore and all that but the ones i saw were more about making art to get more ocs and other kinds of upgrades etc. because art could earn stuff, and so could rp posts. rp posts earning something kind of made it feel more like homework to me in the end.

regardless while i stepped away from looking at arpgs like that, there was another section of arpgs which was far more about original species or the even less rp focused ones-- things like horse breeding, dog breeding etc with focus on genes, show potential etc. some of these groups still encourage storytelling or others do it on their own, but they arent often "rp" groups in the same way as wcrp or even the other arpg groups not focused on breeding. people also would collect these animals into their own kennels or stables, giving them proper show names etc and becing known for their animals by that name. some even being more sought out with their history.

the thing is, i had a weird introduction to these breeding focused groups. i was aware of it with some fantasy original species, but when i was....looking for mods for dogs in sims 3 i opened up a door i never expected to dive into lol. i was looking for mods for better customization of dog sims. well, i found a shit ton from players of sims 3 who had made their own kennel websites showing off their show dogs, what dogs were available for breeding/their pups, their family history, etc etc..... in turn these sites ofte had resources for the markings/cc/etc used to make these dogs look good, along with more sliders for changing their shape. (sadly this kind of scene did not seem to exist for cats. they also definitely existed for horses too, if not more.)

uh anyways how did this lead me to arpgs??? well it happened when some of the links i followed started heading to deviantart again, and i found that some people in the dog show arpgs would unitize sims 3 renders of their dogs. drawing over them, etc! the dogs and horse people did this and i thought, you know maybe itd be cool to get into it i used sims 3 for that stuff.

anyways. i never got into it, at the time i was far too busy. but every so often i see art from the people i followed for it, and i just love seeing it. i love seeing how deep these people have gone into their original breed's information and all that. i did lightly make my own dog breed in sims 3 as a test but, never got far into it....

oh uh, other fun fact about sims 3 renders? in 2019 before all of this, i was in the sso community on instagram and was gonna try rping on their, and quite a lot of people actually used sim 3 for their horse photos instead of sso, in order to have more accurate interpretations of their horses.

i guess this is my post or random niche community facts.

[midwinterwings]

IW and EW is confusing

so...this isnt even remotely surprising but I'm surprised Pikachu abt it, its surprising to me.

When i initially fronted i assumed I'd act similar to in IW but that literally didn't happen. I dont recall I like writing and drawing in IW but I feel the urge to here...and I'm much cooler headed in EW.

The whiplash makes me go ":0" it's so...weird. especially since I'm still 100 percent me, but I act completely different in EW. Well at the same time the front has some...baggage left of the people who used to be here. Theyre gone. Dunno where they are.

One is something that makes me unable to talk, administered by no one, its just like a cage imposed on my mouth that snaps closed and makes me unable to use my windpipes.

Two is a person left behind made by the old host who's become his own independent being and keeps fronting, shoving me aside and bursting into the body in certain situations. Admittedly, they do a better job than me but it's still violating as I have no choice except to be an observer.

Three...the fact I'm...even thinking so much, is...uncharacteristic. Well, I wasn't exactly devoid of braincells back in IW, but like...I definetly didnt think as much. Especially about plurality. It's unnerving to realize I'm one person and there's others as well who may front in future. Because i feel like one guy if no one else is around, but I know it's not true because I can access memories of the previous fronters and they thought they were the only one too. I can't really talk to the other people. I know I'm technically an alter formed due to trauma of the EW body and past but I only know this from the information base and...thing is, my life is completely different to the EW's and especially since the person who was around during the early years of the External body's life, has gone or died or something. He's just not here so me and the others who aren't fronting are just left with...ourselves, since the fact we exist is coz of that trauma that none of us acrually experienced. Oh, and the memories left behind and stored. So I do have the memories to look into but thats it.

Im not really...conscious of the fact I was formed from EW body's trauma. I get it conceptually but not actually. Coz, you see, I got a whole world I belong in, relationships, a past. I straight up identify 0% of me with the External world body's experience and past...to me the trauma was just kinda the conduit of how I am created but its not important to me at all.

There is some things that jar me. Namely my current fixation on plurality since like...I...wait nvm.

Its coz I'm not a facet I'm a whole person. I dont feel like part of a whole. I'm my own individual. And I'm aware of others coz they appear and because I can access memories in the info base, not very well but enough. And I also get mega pissed off if the same stuff that was the reason the system was a system and not a singlet happens again to me, and I feel kind of...an ancient kind of rage. One I as a singular person didn't create, more of the rage and disappointment left over by one of the people who was in the system long ago. In those moments I see the memories of that person as 'mine', usually I don't do that. I can see memories from former fronters but as a spectator although it's first person.

I guess the rage caused by the same triggers that created the external body's early trauma is deeply rooted in all of us, whoever fronts or is 'conscious' and not doing their own thing in innerworld.

The confusing thing is when that happens I kind of revert to singlet mode and kind of...embody the old alter naturally, the one who pretended to be the only one, basically rping as a singlet and adding all external world events and treating them as 'their experiences' and trying to be 'normal' I, on my own, don't identify with a lot of stuff EW body went through. Purely because it literally didn't happen to me in a Literal sense, and that's coz I was only fully formed a few days ago. So it couldn't happen to me. That being said I do feel what the old alter/s felt so it's kinda like being there but I wasn't actually there, still, I do feel their emotions from that trauma strongly at times and from an outside standpoint you couldn't tell the stuff didnt happen to ME, in a Literal sense.

so what am I getting at here. Its that it's pokemon gasp, kind of a surprise and shock fronting after the old fronter was aware of me existing (they thought I was a character they created)

because stuff is just...totally different from what I'm used to. I act different too and like different things. Then again it's not completely true because the things i do in EW are similar to a lot of stuff I did in IW as a young kid, but its been long since I've been that kid, I barely even remember I was him most of the time due to shit that happened in IW. I guess, doing something I used to do as a young kid and feeling a sense of whiplash and discomfort is actually very simular to if it was in IW and my entire point isn't valid.

-> so in fact jts more...on the surface I act different in EW than IW but acrually I do the same things just in a different context and stuff.

-T

[xivanxiety]

The Biggest Pain in My Ass (Part 1) (Approx March 2020 - Nov 2020)

I'm not one for witch hunts, callouts, blasting, and warning people about others. It's usually not fair to the other parties as often there's two sides to the story and I've been a victim of this behavior as well. However, this guy is the one exception to that rule. If I know a friend or a friend of a friend is in close proximity to this scumbag, I will tell them to watch out for him, and I do have receipts and people to back me up. I and others have gotten him removed from FCs and banned from venues because this man is a genuine menace. But why and how did he earn such an honored position of being the one person in XIV that I will not hesitate to protect girls from?

Let's call this guy Tyler, everyone has known an asshat named Tyler. He was the first person to ever approach me for RP in XIV. This was just before I'd taken the plunge into Balmung. I decided to give RP a shot and posted my Carrd to an RP discord server, and within minutes I received a DM from a guy, Tyler, stating that he was interested in arranging an RP. He asked if we could meet at the izakaya venue he was working at. I agreed to meet him there.

When I arrived, there was a suspicious amount of girls who were of the same race and clan as me, all of which were emoting at him and trying to get his attention. I decided to make my character a wallflower. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind, I was beginning to think it was all some ploy to get people to the venue. The writing was atrocious filled with unnecessary purple pros and pick-me girls. I sent Tyler a tell informing him that I was just going to head out because this was not what I had in mind. He asked me to emote something at him that could cue them meeting again because he'd really like to RP with me sometime. I then had my character drop her journal with an 'if found, return to' note jotted inside of it.

Tyler then DM'd me to arrange a day where we could RP one on one and have our characters meet properly. And in that RP, his character was supposed to show up at my character's home to return the journal. Everything was going fine until he starting writing about his character staring at my character's chest. He then made an advance at her and tried grabbing at her chest. I was disturbed by the way things were escalating so I had my character reject him and brush his hand away, I also made sure to tell him OOC that no such interaction was going to be happening. He then tried to claim that there was no way I wasn't planning for something to happen when I invited him for a private RP and my character was wearing the Dalmascan Draped Top (it was my default glam at the time!). He then had his character grab at the cloth of her shirt, exposing her breast. I immediately brought the RP to a halt and put my foot down. He tried to play it off all cool like he had suddenly grown bored of the interaction and needed to leave, as if I hadn't brought the RP to an end. He also made sure to leave a little remark stating that my character was a waste of a [insert her race/clan here] because she does not follow the typical clan culture.

I went through the typical motions people go through after interactions like that, be it in real life or online. Did I lead him on? Did I give off the impression that I wanted that kind of RP?

Anyway. I moved on. I ended up leaving my FC, moved to Balmung, gained a stalker, and attracted a few other creeps, but I also made some awesome friends along the way. But then one day, I guess he spotted me in Ul'dah because he sent me a tell saying he wanted to apologize for how things had gone last time we RP'd, and he wanted to try again to make up for the last time. I accepted, I shouldn't have but he sounded genuine (at the time). And yeah, the second time around went much smoother. We continued RPing and eventually, I let our characters enter a romance. On paper, they were a good match. However, it wasn't long before he had to go on hiatus (or so he claimed).

I come from Tumblr and forum RP. I am used to RP communities where you have to wait days, weeks, Hell, sometimes even months for a continuation on your RP, so I didn't think much of it when he had to go a period without playing XIV. I did ask if we could do Discord RP, however, it even took him a long time simply to respond to me on Discord, I have my theories about this as well.

I will admit it was difficult, always having to make up stories about where her partner was and what he was doing. Creeps would pull the whole "Why is her man just leaving her on her own like that? If it were me I'd be by her side at all times," spiel. Gross. Though truthfully I was beginning to wonder if I should just give up and move on. I had just joined a new FC that sounded right up my character's alley and the FC lead had asked that if my RP partnership ended up failing, if his character could take a shot at wooing my character. That too is a whole other story.

Another month goes by and just as I'm about to give up, I run into Tyler. My friends and I had started dipping our toes into venues and clubs and one day I was with the squad just goofing off in a club when I took a look at my friend list and saw that not only was Tyler online, but he was on the same server, same housing district, but in a private chamber. I sent him a tell and asked if we were at the same venue. It took him a bit to respond, but he sounded surprised. Yet, he didn't do anything like ask me where I was, try to meet up with me, find me, etc. Later, Tyler sends me a tell and asks if we could meet at my apartment. He tells me he's back in the game and he feels we should really pick things up and get rolling on our RP. He also wanted to introduce me to a group of friends of his. I was glad to hear he was back and eager to get things going. Everything happened so fast. He added me to a Discord server with the stupidest of names, I won't expose it but in this case, I'll say it's the equivalent of The Prima Donnas. Everyone there was supposedly an RPer. But what I do know is they were all involved with clubs. Either they owned a club, or they worked at a club, including Tyler.

He proceeded to bring me to a slew of clubs, proudly introducing me as his RP partner to several people. Again I noticed a lot of his female friends in the game were of the same race and clan as my character. Everyone was quite friendly and welcoming. Tyler pulled me aside and said he needed my okay on something. He said he was going to be working for a club that was going to be opening up, however, anyone who worked for this club had to be willing to do sex work. I said I was not okay with that as we agreed upon entering our RP partnership that our characters were monogamous, he especially made sure that I knew that and would respect it. Not to mention, I didn't want to deal with petty, jealous clients who could not differentiate IC and OOC when I just wanted to write. Did he respect this? No. I asked him why he even asked me to begin with, and he tried spinning this on me claiming that he never said he was going to respect my wishes, he just wanted to know what I thought. He blatantly gaslit me here claiming he didn't say he wanted my permission, he wanted my opinion. And as a compromise he was going to make a new character to do the sex work with. Okay, sure, whatever.

I once again was in a space where I felt so out of place. This wasn't the type of RP I liked, and yet these people were warping my perception, making me think that this is what RP in XIV is like. I'd never played Second Life, but I feel like it was something like this. I think I will stop on that subject here because I feel I could do a whole other post on the club scene in XIV.

So did we ever pick up on our RP? Hardly. He was working at 4 different clubs at the same time and was quickly becoming quite flighty and avoidant. In Discord servers he was definitely possessive and boasting, he didn't like seeing people compliment my character. I was quickly becoming a well liked person in this corner of the community. People thought my character was so pretty, I was friendly and chill. I could gain access to clubs before they opened and met capacity. I was put on VIP lists for free just by being me. People told me they didn't blame him for being possessive as an RP partner because he'd snagged himself a quality person. However, those closest to us knew he was far from a worthy RP partner. A lot of these people took pity on me and often gave him shit for how little he was giving attention to writing with me in comparison to his time at venues.

I'd go a month or more between RP sessions with him, all of which he would try to turn into ERP. Meanwhile, he practically lived in venues, brothels, and clubs. He even tried to force my character onto her knees once and once again abruptly ended the RP session when I made it clear I wasn't looking to ERP. I should have run at that point, but this side of the community had me convinced that this was as good as it gets. He was spending more time on his alt than his main. I spoke to him about this numerous times mentioning that if this sex worker alt of his was essentially going to become his main, I didn't want my character tied down to an alt. I didn't want to waste my time. I gave him a choice to back out so he could go be the horndog he was. But each time he begged me to stay, claiming I was the best writing partner he'd ever had and he just wanted to be like me and he hoped that by being writing partners with me, his writing would improve. With our friend group giving him more and more shit over his lack of attention to our characters, he eventually distanced from them, claiming they were just looking to start drama, that what they thought shouldn't matter, all that matters was that we were content with our characters and the story. But little did he realize, I wasn't.

I had learned that this guy had quite a reputation.

First, I'd made a friend who was also of my race and clan and a sex worker who had been booked by him at her venue where he proceeded to slut shame her for being a sex worker, all the while still expecting her to do her job. He was banned from that venue as a result. This adds up as he'd always jokingly call the girls in the friend group server whores and sluts, but then in private would admit there was truth to it, and one of the reasons he liked me was because my character's story didn't involve sex work.

I'd also recently made another friend who I was RPing with a little here and there. She was, again... from my race and clan. I was venting to her about my headaches with my RP partner when she was like "Wait wait wait... is his Discord handle tylerisacreep#6969?" (not his actual handle) I confirmed, yes. And she responded with, "Oh Hell no, you need to get the Hell away from him." Apparently, he'd joined her FC (filled with girls from our race/clan) and had entered an RP partnership with one of the members but was also trying to turn RP sessions with any other female in the FC into ERP under the false claim that since his character was the villain of the story, it was in character for him to do that.

I had another friend whose friend was an ex RP partner of his. Again, same race/clan. Said he pulled the same bullshit on her, neglecting their RP and focusing more on brothels and clubs.

He'd told me recently that he quit working at one venue because the owner was barking up his tree trying to get him to enter a polyamorous relationship with her when he just wanted to be friends. This person was the owner of the venue where he supposedly had to be a sex worker to work there. This was not true, that was 100% optional. The whole premise of that club was to just embrace the fun and be a space where people could hang out, not a place looking to make money off of people's sex work. In fact, I was friends with the co-owner at this point, and he told me that actually, no. He had offered to help workers at the venue learn how to RP (since their focus wasn't RP, just a place to hang out), and everyone he worked with complained that he tried to turn every session into ERP. So, they fired him for sexual harassment.

That first day when he came back from hiatus? Well, first of all, he didn't just come back from hiatus. He hopped onto his main from an alt that he'd been playing around on for some time to show off to one of the girl in the same friend group he introduced me to. Guess which clan and race she was? Yep, the same as mine. They were ERPing when I first sent him a tell. And they'd ERP'd multiple times since, even as both of them knew I was becoming increasingly tired of him neglecting his main for his ERP alt. He even ditched me on several occasions to go ERP with other people. Yet the amount of times I got RP from him was less than a handful in 6 months.

It had become clear that this guy was irrefutably a creep. A pathological liar. Some fetishist for this race/clan. A fucking hypocrite who was clearly addicted to ERP but had the audacity to slut shame sex workers and made a strong point that he expected my character to remain faithful while his wasn't. I called him out on it. All of it. He blew up at me, acting appalled that I'd take other people's words over his. He pulled some sap story about how, yeah, he'd made mistakes in the past, but drama queens like these people kept resurfacing his past and wouldn't let him make up for it. I wasn't buying it. This guy had not one, not two, not three, not even four chances to change his ways, and clearly, he hadn't. This was late 2020 and I had dirt on him dating back to 2018. Every time we had a discussion, I made it clear to him, don't waste my time. It's just RP. It's just fiction. We didn't need to be in an RP partnership if he couldn't follow through with it. I told him his character was better off being polyamorous and bid him farewell, making sure he knew I never wished to write with him ever again.

My Theories

This dude assumes that RP = ERP. That or he thinks he can weasel his way into turning the RP into ERP. I think when I told him that the RP at the venue was not what I had in mind, he may have taken it as me wanting to RP with him alone, you know, for reasons. I wasn't.

He never went on hiatus. He was just hanging out on another character and another Discord account. I will touch on this in my next entry, but this guy has had to have spent hundreds of dollars on fantasia and name changes, subscriptions, and boosts. I kid you not, I have confirmed over a dozen characters from this guy on multiple accounts.

He had something going on, but I won't self-diagnose him here. One thing I do know is that this guy has an ERP addiction, and I do not pity him for it. He had his character force his character onto mine on more than one occasion and was never apologetic about it. He continuously slut shamed other women, and it doesn't end there. This is just part 1!

[tornblackedgcs]

🔑 my favorite type of threads 🦄 the best thing that's happened to me in roleplay this year ⭐️ my roleplay pet peeves

🔑 my favorite type of threads

That's...That's a hard one. Huh. I mean, I like shippy things because who doesn't? But I like it when they're built up with chemistry and some history there. I like good angsty ones but only with a purpose (I had a really bad experience with someone forcing angst in the old days.) Oh! Canon event continuation threads. So obviously I use an OC, but even then when an episode or season comes out and you get to explore specific canon events with your own characters'/interpretation perspective and thoughts.

🦄 the best thing that's happened to me in roleplay this year Me making this blog and the ones past it lol. I did have that multi one for a hot second, but my real throw back into RPing was this year with Charlie, so everything from that! I've loved talking with people, joining fandoms, writing with people again ⭐️ my roleplay pet peeves I guess the forcing of stuff like I said in the first one? I dislike the clique-ness that I see sometimes but I can also understand that people are trying to curate their own comfortable places online to the best of their ability. All of them usually trace back to just communicating with your writing partners and giving people a chance despite appearances or what have you.

[krpgossipgirl]

i tried to give rupes a chance but when i joined it was silent and no one even wrote with each other. it was exclusively self paras and even despite my best outreach efforts, it was crickets. not that good of an experience tbh. / i had the same experience. i was kind of confused at first why there was no rping happening, i thought something was happening in the rp that i wasn’t aware of. but i waited like for 3 weeks and people did welcome me in dms and show excitement to plot but didn’t follow through with it. they’d send these long paragraphs talking about the plot then crickets when it’s time to thread. they had this system where the admin “matches” your muse with someone who they think will be compatible with and that writer will approach you ooc to plot but again, never come to fruition and all was big talk. they only posted self paras and people would comment these long essays “to give feedback” which i guess in theory, sounds cute and nice but in practice, it was kind of exhausting because this was a monthly requirement and i felt like i was back in school getting graded by my teacher. you can pick what type of criticism you approve but it still felt weird because they were acting like a bunch of professor writers more interested in showing off their individuality (which is great) until that practice doesn’t extend to rping with others. i really did try my hardest to put myself out there in that rp but nothing came out of it.