#(gas money paid)

[fuckyeah-bears]

whhhhyyyyyyyyy is everything sooooo motherfucking expensive????? don’t they know I can’t afford all this shit???

[cordeliawhohung]

sorry if you’ve already answered this but when you say early access what are you referring to and how can we get early access?

yeah, so i'm referring to my patreon!

it's explained a bit on my intro post on the site, but i offer sneak peeks to my works (longer than what i post to tumblr. tumblr usually sees 150 words while on patreon i put it around 500-1k words) and early access to my long form fics a day before they're posted on tumblr and ao3. so like chapter 12 of in limbo is on there right now!

i also mention this in my intro post, but none of my fanworks are locked behind a paywall. they're still fully available for free (i would get in legal trouble if not lmao) but i would like to post original fiction sometime on there in the future that would be patreon exclusive. i created this back when my work was being shitty about my hours/pay just to help me out a bit, so really it's more of a glorified tip jar than anything. i have had people make a payment/tip and then cancel their subscription and that's totally fine! it's just there if anyone wants/is able to help a girl out a little lmao.

if anyone has any other questions though let me know! always happy to answer (:

[baby-stoner-butch]

have to go on a t break til friday bc i ate all my edibles too fast :(

the more often i take lil breaks the easier it is to get fucked up when im feeling dumb and slutty :)

[dragonsruby]

Remember when I said that I'd post the funnier quotes from my three month long period of jury duty? You know... three years ago? XD

I can't remember who said everything, so if a quote isn't labeled, assume it's from the Defense or Prosecution.

Names have been changed for obvious reasons. Quotes under the cut, since the post is quite long.

----------

Defense: “You said you were a basketball fan, right? You remain under oath.”

Witness: “Yes, I've watched.”

Defense: “What team do you support?”

Witness: “I don't wanna prejudice the jury.”

-------

“You abandoned us for the East Coast?!”

-------

Witness: “I have post-it note traumatic stress disorder.”

-------

“I need the ‘F/U’ explanation.”

-------

Defense: “My colleagues have informed me that I need to lower my volume.”

-------

Prosecution: *staring up at 6 ft. microphone* “Oh, don't I wish.”

-------

“Do we really need to make the witness do math?!”

-------

“This isn't a magical thing-that-must-not-be-said Voldemort-type word, is it? The Dark Lord won't come if you say it?”

-------

“I've felt ranging levels of disappointment- I mean, thoughts about the results I received.”

-------

“What company do you work for again?”

“Apple.”

“Can you get us the hookup- WITHDRAWN! WITHDRAWN!”

-------

“...Your honor, I broke the courtroom.”

-------

Prosecution: *talking to witness who's a medical professional* “What, you don't carry your 2005 essay on sleep with you at all times?"

*laughter from court*

Prosecution: "…Well, obviously, we do!”*pulls up essay*

-------

Judge: “Objection overruled.”

“OBJEC-??!!”

-------

“No more questions, your honor.”

Judge: “HALLELUJAH.”

-------

Witness: “So much paperwork…”

-------

Prosecution: “I suppose one doctor can read another doctor's handwriting?”

Witness: “We're forced to.”

Prosecution: “You're better at reading doctor's handwriting and human handwriting!”

-------

Bailiff: “Reminder that you are NOT allowed to discuss this case with anyone until it is concluded.”

Juror: “Can we make fun of the lawyers?”

Bailiff: “That, you can do.”

-------

“Let us turn our attention to your conversation with Jason Rocks, which is a FANTASTIC name.”

-------

“He's a little sweaty in this picture. Was he always sweaty?”

-------

*banging noise*

“Bless you.”

-------

“We're looking at RTFs and PDFs. Know what those mean?”

Witness: “No.”

“Neither do I.”

-------

“...I think I bored it to death.”

-------

“Never mind. I'll sustain the objection myself.”

Judge: “I'll just go home, then.”

“It's far too late to back out now, your honor.”

-------

*reading* “‘We hope that the truth will be revealed, and that the government will go fart with their findings.’ …I hope for everyone in the room's sake that whoever wrote this meant ‘far.’”

-------

Witness: “Oh, so it's like a mic condom!”

-------

“Can the jury sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me?”

-------

“Objection, your honor. …To post-it notes.”

-------

“You don't have any special deli memory? No pastrami?”

“Every Jerry's Deli looks the same to me.”

“I feel it.”

-------

“Click right. Right. More right. Right. Up. Right. Right. …Okay, click on that button… Unless you forgot to renew your Microsoft 365 membership and haven't updated.” *face-chairs*

-------

“At that same meeting-”

“OBJECTION!”

“...I didn't finish.”

“Whatever it is, it's objectionable.”

-------

“How do you get around a house that's 60,000 square feet?! With a go-kart?”

“With two sons, a wife, and a mother-in-law, any house feels small.”

-------

“Unfortunately, if I provide verification, the judge would provide me with a toothbrush and send me away.”

-------

“All I know about horses is that my dog loves them. He runs up to police horses.”

-------

Defense: “You'd be glad that you didn't remember the jingle. I was gonna have you sing it!”

Witness: “You wouldn't want to hear me sing. I'd be asked to go home early.”

-------

“Let’s pull up your driver's license.”

Witness: “OH NO.”

“I actually like this picture!”

-------

Judge: "Re-cross?”

Defense: “No further questions, thank you.”

Judge: “THANK YOU.”

-------

*goes through very long list of exhibits* “This is the longest list, I promise.”

Judge: “The jurors will be tested on them after closing arguments.”

-------

“I don't know if she said it as dramatically as you did.”

“Very few can.”

-------

“Did you prepare this report?”

Witness: “Yes I did.”

“And how did you prepare this report?”

Witness: “On the computer.”

-------

“Objection to asking the witness to do math on the fly!”

-------

“The document's already been admitted.”

“Okay-”

“In October.” (1 - 2 months prior)

“...It was so long ago…”

-------

“Yes, we do have a LIVE witness with us, but your honor would be a tough act to follow.”

-------

“...But for some reason, math is your passion.”

-------

Defense: “You know attorneys that work for free?! ‘Cause I know some people who would be inter-”

*loud commotion from multiple tables*

Defense: “...Sorry, your honor, I didn't hear the verdict.”

Judge: “There was just an uproar.”

-------

“Now, if we could just digitally highlight this sentence here-”

“Sir, that's a physical copy you're holding.”

-------

Judge: “Cross-examination?”

Prosecution: “Just a few minutes, your honor.”

Judge: “I'm going to hold you to that.”

-------

Defense: “You know, it's never a good sign for a lawyer when you start your closing argument and the jurors get up and leave.”

-------

“If you gave me a check for $500 for saying that I believe in the Easter Bunny, haha! In my bank it goes! I'll take it!”

-------

Defense: “‘Return to the Cave of Time’ is an all-time classic, as it was the follow-up story to the classic ‘Cave of Time.’ The plot is that you live every day as the same day, but a little different, and you're trying to escape that day. …It's a scenario that I'm sure NONE OF YOU can relate to.”

-------

Defense: “And my all-time favorite ‘Choose Your OWN Adventure’ book… ‘You Are A Shark.’ It is so good, ladies and gentlemen, that I SO wish I could he like Oprah and tell you to look under your chairs to find a copy. …Unfortunately, I know the judge would never allow it.”

-------

“If hiring a lawyer who's a jackass is enough to indict you of criminal activity, then you'd have to indict anyone who ever had to hire a lawyer.”

-------

Defense: “OBJECTION! OBJECTION! OBJECTION!”

Prosecution: “...Only one objection is needed.”

Defense: “Well, you get two more for free!”

----------

To cap that all off, here's some of the doodles I made during the less interesting periods of the hearings.

Hope ya'll have a good day!

[tacitusauxilium]

So. Uh…the next couple months are gonna probably be bad with me stressing out with work and such. My whole shift is probably going to be changing—hours and days—and we are suppose to know this week what we all got. So, I’m a nervous wreck since I go on vacation this month and in two months.

My husband, on the other hand, is not holding it in well. They are forcing people in his department to go from 8a-4p to 3a-11a. And we can’t do that since my mom watches our son four days a week, which will now be 5 days with my new schedule. He is only working 8a-11a three to four days a week and his fifth day is always 8 hours. So, we lost over $500 on this paycheck.

He’s panicking, I’m taking my anxiety medicine to just not FEEL anything cause if I do, I’m going to scream or cry or hit something, so we are a wreck. We can’t even do anything for our son’s birthday this Sunday which we planned out weeks ago and have to cancel.

And my mom’s hours and days are being cut—two or three days of work instead of four—so I’m the bread winner and I’m losing my mind. Not knowing what’s gonna happen is causing me to get my period earlier than normal and I don’t wanna leave this place. We just got insurance taken care of thanks to the union, so I’ll save money, and there is no customer interactions, but dammit—I have to take melatonin to knock me out or I’ll be up all night worrying.

So, I’m a nervous wreck and just spotty with talking to people or wanting to do anything. I try to stay at places for more than four years but every TIME I do, something shitty happens. This is the third time my shift and hours have changed in four years since I’ve been here. Just…needed to vent and rant cause I hear it all day at work and I want my days off with my husband and I wanna see my kid and want to come home for dinner—!

I hate playing everything day by day. I just want a life outside of work even if I don’t have friends or anything to do. Just…want to unwind and can’t. I’ll keep you all updated on what the heck happens this month.

[hoss-bonaventure]

me whenever i remember walt is canonically jesse’s passenger princess

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[at-thezenith]

i don't have a lot of righteous anger in me, but what i do have is utter disdain for london based companies that set their entry level salaries at 24k a year. oh so you want your assistants to be miserable? to be hungry? to not have any breathing room between jobs? to be forced to work while sick because they can't afford to take the day off? you need at least 30k to keep your head comfortably above water is london and that's if you want to rent a shitty room in a building that's falling apart. GODDDD me and the publishing industry will be fighting for the foreseeable future

[tchotchkez]

if anyone has like 10 bucks to spare so I can get some sandwich stuff for food until I get paid I would be forever fuckin grateful 🥲

c a s h a p p: $tatespar

v e n m o: Tate-Sparks-1

[crow-caller]

As somebody who currently cannot afford books, thank you SO much for making yours free, even for a little while. I don't think I've ever come across another author who has done that (at most, I've seen maybe one author who explicitly said pirating their books was okay), and it means so so much that I have a chance to read it. <3

I guess I haven't seen it much myself but I think I must have- it must be more common in indie spaces, because obviously Good Angel/Bad End is self published and I own the rights. My other published book, Angel Radio, was with a small press so I technically couldn't.

With indie books*, you gotta realize you just can't like ever make any money off them either. Not enough to live off. It is nice when it can pay for food but often you're self pubbing on your own cash and can only hope to pay it back to even. (*note: a bunch of self and indie books do sell crazy well. not typically lgbt weird not-romance ones like mine)

So, the best and main way to get anything done as a self pub'd author is to hope people bother to talk about your book- put it in recc lists, mention it to friends, care about it at all. To do that they have to read it, and to do that they have to buy it, and suddenly it is extremely hard to get anyone to give a rat's ass. removing the price makes it more accessible and also clears some of the steps for it actually ever get read. I kinda just want people to read it some time if it seems like their fancy and hopefully have a good time, and word of mouth and making it free is the only avenues I got

thank you also, this was just me autistically rambling on-ish subject

[cattyanon]

GUYSSSSS I unknowingly moved an inch worm (type of caterpillar) about an hour and a half away from it's home because I picked up a few feathers off the ground from where we were and didn't know he was on one of them when I put one of the feathers in my bag. ;-;

Further context is in the tags. Also I'm once again apologizing to the inch worm for moving him that far from his home. Poor dude looked so confused when I put him on a plant lol. I'm sooooo sorry dude I didn't knowwww...

[professorabacus]

Grrrrmmm

[honorthysalad]

honestly Yoshiki has an untapped market of spirit made paintings. Think about it: they gave chimps some paint and sold that garbage for thousands to rich idiots. I think someone would want to buy a painting made by a ghost if not just for proof of spiritual existence so it wouldn’t even matter if they were good. like Yoshiki’s got a real live ghost on his hands and all he’s thinking about is morals? Girl, use ‘Hikaru’ to make a few bucks, sell him to a zoo where they can teach him sign language or whatever, and just go buy a new boy.

[zombiesama]

yay yippee yay

[wewontbesleeping]

oh my goddddddd all winter we kept the heat on literally like 60 degrees to try to save some money on our insane gas bills and they kept going up anyways. and the entire time we were paying for our upstairs neighbors (also our landlords!) gas bc the meters were switched

[emdotcom]

Status update! I'm still fucking tired, & i still have no money