#(even though we've used it before)

[flysafepapi]

i just know season three is going to destroy me, because yeah there were definitely parts of the first two seasons that definitely hurt, seeing the two different interpretations of what happened in Paris when Armand and Lestat met is going to hit me like a ton of bricks

Like, on one hand, you have Lestat, who was never going to join the coven anyway because that's not his style, he was never going to agree to be under management, basically, and follow anyone's orders, but the moment Armand called him Magnus' bastard as the first impression it pretty much cemented the fact that he was never going to stay, and there's probably going to be some resentment there along the vein of "you were supposed to keep control of the vampires you were sent to be in charge of, I'm what I am because you didn't, what happened to me happened because you didn't, this is your fault"

And then on the other hand, there's Armand who's been under someone else's control all his life up until that point, he's been used and traded and ordered around, and then he's sent to Paris and he's the one in charge but he doesn't actually do anything because he's been following orders pretty much all his life and it felt like he knew what he was sent to do but he didn't really know what to do, and then suddenly there's someone who's, essentially, the opposite, who does what he wants when he wants, and, perhaps most vitally, didn't know him as who he was before Paris and he's living, breathing proof that he can be desired as an adult and his own person, not as a boy or something to be traded or ordered around, and then it turns out it was all an act anyway and Lestat never planned on staying.

And I just- they make me want to scream.

Armand seeing Lestat as the freedom he could have, and Lestat seeing Armand as the shackles of obedience he refuses to wear.

[chemicalarospec]

you've heard of: aroacespec "is this person flirting with me" confusion, now get ready for: Does this person think I'm flirting with them (and also are they flirting "back" with me) because I accidentally bumped into them a lot?

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

between willis and catherine being retconned into being abusive/neglectful, that fucking shoehorned talia romance, bruce having the character consistency of cottage cheese, and shelia's girlboss betrayal, what's really impressive is not jason coming back to life but how he seems to be holding the world reserve of shitty parents

[mccleans]

i've gone to sleep angry and woken up angry every day since last saturday

[raksh-writes]

I have one final thought and mayhaps a controversial take -- the dramatic "cool" slowmotion turn around with an *insert emotion* look into the camera was cool the first couple of times but by now Im afraid it has become very much uncool.

Im tired, can we have something else, please?

[nabaath-areng]

I neither believe nor don't believe in ghosts because I can't prove anything and, like the questions of the universe, I'm comforted by the conclusion that I don't need to know everything. But I swear I don't know how I maintain this conviction with everything weird that keeps happening, especially the last 2 weeks in particular.

Last night we heard a loud BANG and when we got to the kitchen, three drawers were pulled open to the point where they nearly got stuck. One of these drawers in particular is hard to open and yet there it was.

Today I woke up from the fire alarm blasting, only for it to stop like nothing happened once I'd gotten up. I checked both it and everywhere in the house but nothing was out of the ordinary.

And after years upon year of footsteps in the stairs with nobody there, various dreams about things none should have had knowledge about beforehand, and other weird signs such as a laptop randomly playing a section of a song we've never heard before that goes "Don't you worry 'bout a thing" while we are in the middle of the worst crisis of our lives...

Or hell, like that time recently while looking for my bee suit and I found it because, I kid you not, something stroked across the velcro around the helmet back and forth. At first I thought it was like, falling or something but it's only to keep it closed around the neck, that sound wouldn't be possible unless you actively went with your finger and stroked.

I don't know. I guess this is why I'm not outright sceptical of anything that might be beyond my comprehension and understanding lmao

[onthehighwaytomel]

I admit I haven't been super on top of the news lately (moving next week, work stress, recent birthday plans, protecting my mental health, etc.)

But isn't it a good thing that Biden stepped down? He's clearly not fit for four more years (or even one more election cycle) because of his age, health, and mental capacity. And he would be extremely unlikely to win against Trump, even more so after 7/13.

I'm no Harris stan by any means; I'll be holding my nose and voting for her, just like I did with Biden and Hillary. And I know it's not ideal to change candidates less than four months out. But at least she's not decrepit and seems to be mentally present and engaged enough for this kind of thing. It was the right decision, one that needed to be made for a while now. We didn't need Senator Feinstein 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The bar might be in hell, but I'd rather have the only actually viable candidate against Trump clear that bar.

[thethingything]

oh yeah also, Bread Quest bread 10: cheese topped rolls

I almost forgot to count these ones and I'm pretty sure there are other types of bread we've had that I've forgotten to count too. we just had these buttered with truffle salt earlier and it was a really nice breakfast

[kaeyapilled]

what do you think about the kaeya = caribert theory? i saw some people use it as an 'explanation why his skin is dark' like. oh he used to be a Monster and the skin is a remnant of it :) and it pissed me off so bad. i need to know what other people think about it

its honestly not a theory im super fond of i think its a little stupid no offense. i dont think it makes a lot of sense? to go super in depth i'd have to take another look at the caribert quest (and maybe read up on the khaenri'ah lore we have so far again) but i kinda feel like it establishes pretty firmly that kaeya couldnt be caribert. descended from that branch of the family maybe (though im more fond of the theory that kaeya is descended from the branch of alberichs that were actually being regents, something that chlothar wasnt involved in because he distanced himself from the rest of the family to look after his son) (makes sense that kaeya would know more about the alberichs being the regents in khaenri'ah than he knows about an alberich being the founder of the abyss order) (theres a post about it i reblogged it some time ago and it hasn't left my mind since) but like.. him actively being caribert? sounds.. honestly really dumb to me.. don't ask me how kaeya isnt (or at least doesn't seem to be) affected by any curse, be it monsterification or immortality, but i just feel like that isnt the explanation. the actual explanation could be related to the events in caribert though.. cant wait for them to tell us what it actually is lol. on the off chance that this fucking theory is true then ill just bite my tongue i guess but i know im right. ok now moving on to the elephant in the room. what kind of take even is thatttttt "thats why his skin is dark"what is bro talking about🔥🔥‼️ if i read that with my own two eyes id block a person SO fast. why would you say that and treat it as serious evidence and backing for your theory. thats just. racism basically. what. anyways kaeya whos half from sumeru supremacy

[kariachi]

Late Night Thoughts With Achi: Consider- the reason humans yearn for sapient life out amongst the stars is because after evolving alongside other sapient species from our genus they've all been gone for like 40k years and we're lonely.

[crescendo-system]

Having a burst of new(?) alter reveals this past week which can only mean one thing: the deep pit of horror that maybe we're faking this is looming ominously once more

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

The amount of times I have had a thought to send to my sister and remembered she will never get it 😭

[ozlices]

starting to become a struggle not rly having any system friends esp wrt our little bc they don't have any friends that relate to their age but we're so protective of our system at this point. hnnnnnggg dilemmas why are they endless

[nexus-nebulae]

wait i just realised something i think we defeated our self-fakeclaiming finally

[oblako]

249 episodes and we still know barely anything about shinhye