#(by developing a crush on the new girl i had moved on to 😭)

[theygender]

Anyone else get to a point in lesbian gender weirdness that makes you incapable of being attracted to straight girls? Like as a lesbian I'm specifically attracted to people who have a similar gender to me, and being sapphic makes up such an important part of my gender that I can't consider someone who's not wlw to even be in the same realm. Straight women are definitely not the same gender as me, and non-wlw nonbinary people aren't really either. Nonbinary is an umbrella term after all, and in my case the gender under that umbrella is "dyke." To me that means that other sapphics, whether they're nonbinary, transfem, or cis, are automatically gonna be closer in gender to me than anyone else. I can't be attracted to straight girls

[unreleasedwrites]

Caught You, Again

“You’re eyes seem to be wandering yet again, and your cheeks are redder than rubies.. You just never get tired of me, do you?

summary: You and Gun have been in the same class since the eight grade, and you developed a little crush on him that same year. Once the ninth grade started and you two had been paired as seat mates, you started to drop subtle hints here and there with the idea of your little crush on him for the past year. Gun notices this and takes it as an opportunity to constantly tease you about it jokingly— until, he was no longer joking, and made a move by asking you out which then ended with you becoming his first and last girlfriend, because he made you into his first and forever wife. Yet, he never fails to see you in the not so hidden act of admiring him, which has him calling you a “simp,” and he continues to tease you for it.

character(s) included: Park Jonggun x fem!reader

cw: fluff, teasing, playful and flirtatious gun, gun is nice, swearing, use of Y/N, mentions of physical fights gun gets into, mentions of blood/bleeding/bruises, couple nicknames, kissing, established relationship, idk much about weddings, VERY SUGGESTIVE TOWARDS THE END!! this is really long tbh 😭😭

unwrapped on: Saturday Night, December 03 2023

wrapped up on: Sunday Evening, April 28 2024

published on: Sunday Evening, April 28 2024

“Need something?” Your seat mate suddenly questioned you as he shrugged a brow at you, who was blankly staring at him, obviously lost in your thoughts.

“O-uh— No!” You quickly replied and zoned back into reality, “Sorry, I was just thinking, I didn’t notice tha-” You added before he cut you off and said,

“If you like me, you could just say so’ You wouldn’t be the first girl to confess to me this school year.”

“Wha-! Talk about confident, also it’s literally the second week of the ninth grade..” You scoffed, a little nervous considering you have liked him since the eight grade so he technically wasn’t wrong.

“That isn’t a no~” He replied with a tint of his usual smirk.

“Wel-” You tried to speak right before he interrupted you once more “Enough with the excuses already, it’s boring.”

…

“Well?” He added and you responded with, “Well.. What I was trying to sa-” Ding, Ding, Ding— You were interrupted once again, but this time, by the bell. And it was now lunch time, so you two went your separate ways.

That was one of the occasional conversations you had with Gun, it just so happens that you two have been paired as seatmates since the eight grade and therefore, had to have spoken to one another atleast a number of times by now. They were just meaningless and short interactions that was just another way to kill time for him, yet those little conversations and interactions meant the world to you.

Fast forward into the school year and currently, it’s almost the fourth month of school— all of your classmates along with the new/transfer students have gotten to know each other, and it just so happens that you and Gun have started to talk more aswell. From little “Hey, about the homework-”, “Since were the next pair who’ll discuss, how about we-”, and “Could I borrow an extra pen, if you’ve got one?” To “What did you get for this number..?”, “Let’s hang out at my place, we could also plan our discussion for english tomorrow.”, which also turned to him simply grabbing things out of your bag when he pleases.

The formal little questions he’d usually ask you were starting to turn casual and friendly, not only his words but his tone is shifting as well.

You never thought you’d be invited to his place so casually and he’d lend you his jacket whenever you two are hanging out. Although, he insists you keep all of them since he loves the way it looks on you. It was weird. It was all so weird. So many girls like him, he’s constantly got girls dreaming to be around him as much as you get to be. Now, if you think about it— you never actually see ANY girls approaching him or hanging around him at all, aside from you, that is. People are constantly telling you about how you two must be dating, well you aren’t, but he’s never actually denied it either. He continues to tease you almost everyday and it just has you falling for him even more.

“Y/N?” Gun suddenly called out to you while you were walking out of the classroom to go home.

“Hm?”

“Dinner, just you and me. This Friday at 7 o’clock, how’s that sound?”

“Wait, what?” You rose a brow at his sudden invitation, “What do you mean, by dinner with just you and me?” You briefly added.

“A dinner date, with just the two of us.”

“That was a little, out of nowhere.. Don’t you think?”

“..Yeah.” He responded, “My bad. Maybe it was a little too soon, never mind about what I sai-” He added before you cut him off, “Wai- wait! it wasn’t too soon at all! Sorry, I was just taken a back— since I really wasn’t expecting this from you.” You said, visibly happy.

“Well then..?” He nervously asked and you responded with, “Are you kidding? That’s all I’ve ever wanted!! I’d love to, Gun.” It was evident just how excited you were. Suddenly all bubbly and red in the cheeks, Gun found that to so adorable. “I wasn’t expecting such enthusiasm from you,” Gun said as he laughed, “You’re probably in love with me, aren’t you?” to which you replied, “You asked, I answered! And would you have wanted a no for an answer?” “A no from the girl who’s head over heals in love with me? I highly doubted that response.”

Gun might’ve said those words so casually and care free but he really was surprised with how quick it took for you to say yes. Throughout the course of your friendship, it did become obvious that the two of you do like each other. But it was much more evident on your side, with how much people knew you like Gun and how you spoke about him and how you were whenever you were with him, versus how you were when you were with some other boys that were rumored to like you. Of course, Gun was slightly taken aback when he learned about all this— how could someone like you, a beautiful and simple sweet heart who doesn’t even like contact with people or going out that much, like him, a guy whose name is insanely problematic and all the rumors spreading about him are mostly true and have something to do with his violent side and the things he does outside of school, a guy who people quite literally fear.

But Gun didn’t really like thinking about any of that. All that mattered to him was how you felt and the adorable reactions that come out of you whenever he teases you about apparently liking him so much.

A few months passed since your first date and the two of you started dating after a while, even more time has passed since then because you two were now in your final year of high school. Despite going further into your friendship to turn it into a relationship, nothing much has really changed.

You guys were at your place this one time and you begged him to do skin care with you. He was reluctant at first but with your puppy dog eyes and some touchy convincing, he finally agreed.

“Stay Still!!” You scolded your boyfriend who kept moving when you were trying to apply a full mask onto his face.

“How am I supposed to? It’s so wet and slimy, kinda reminds me of something..” Gun replied.

“Oh shut it, I finally finished applying it, now we have matching masks on!! Come look at the mirror!” You exclaimed, “Tada~!”

He looked at the mirror blankly and slowly turned to you, who was overflowing with joy.

“Awh, don’t you like it?”

“It’s.. something, that’s for sure..”

You looked at Gun with your usual pout, to which he caved in and finally went along with the whole thing, saying it’s not that bad.

“Hehe, my baby looks so handsome, just as he always does~” You said as you admired Gun while squeezing his cheeks.

“You’re such a simp, you know that, right? Gun said, slightly muffled as he looked down at you with his usual smirk.

“Hmph! If you don’t want my love then you could just say so!” You said as you let go off his cheeks and crossed your arms with a grouchier pout on your face.

“Baby, there’s no need to be a brat.” He then grabbed your chin to kiss your lips (you were tiptoe-ing). Gun always knew how to deal with the unpredictable pace of your mood, given how you can go from absolutely simping over him to a pouting girl who doesn’t wanna talk about it at all with him.

“Your eyes sure as hell love to wander, dont they?” Gun teased. You went all pouty again so he coated you in some more kisses to make up for the teasing about you being a complete simp.

Those were the moments that ultimately led to the situation you’re currently in. Beneath the sunset in your favorite place, dressed in an astonishing wedding dress, paired with an elegant pair of heels, just the right amount of steepness for you to walk in, given your veil and dress that was trailing on your back. Holding an extravagant boquet with all of your favorite flowers wrapped in such delicate material.

It was all so ethereal. Gun, your soon to be husband hasn’t seen you. You were queued to walk down the aisle so very soon, which had you shaking in both excitement and fear. It’s finally the day you’ve been waiting for so very long. You knew you really liked Gun the moment you two became closer, yet you’re still stuck in the point where you were admiring him from technically— not afar because he was right beside you the entire time. But still, you were just an admirer in awe. And now you have the same last name as him and do tons of things together— cooking? hell yes, shopping? without a doubt. hopping in the shower and bathtub together? you don’t even notice him coming in until you feel a strong pair of arms wrap around you and start to wander across your body.

Another thing is that Gun may seem like a “cold” or reserved person on the outside, but he really does care about people that matters to him and knows how to observe. One of the things he observed about your “infatuation” with him was how you looked at him. He really saw right through the eyes you looked at him with— they only expressed one thing. That one thing was actual love, and it was not at all short-lived as people say what infatuation is.

It truly surprised him to see how your eyes never got gloomy or even got tired of looking at him that way even when time passed.

If anything, they became brighter and loving with every moment that passed with you looking at Gun’s dark eyes, wondering why he would ever want to have anything to do with a girl who’s had a huge crush on him for so very long.

He realized just how much importance those little details hold. As they say, the eyes don’t lie. And he sure as hell was able to experience that for himself.

He may not have wanted to admit it at first, but he slowly fell for you, in the way where you fell first but he fell harder. His entire mood and demeanor would change the exact moment that you’re around him. He could be beating up people and see that you’ve come to check up on him because he specifically told you that he was just going out to get something from Goo, but ended up taking way too long— hence, why you went to find him. He changed in an instant. Leaving behind the scene and making sure you won’t have to worry your pretty little head about it. And according to Goo, the way he talks about you is just “agitating”— which pretty much translates to “amazing” in your vocabulary, given that Goo doesn’t care about these types of things.

You’ve heard from various of his friends that he really does love you, because he doesn’t prolong any of his fights due to the very fact that he wants to make sure that he can get home to you asap. Especially when it’s late at night, he knows you like to sleep but he wants to be the one to tuck you in and cuddle and place gentle kisses on you to sleep. So even though he loves fighting worthy opponents that gets him turned on, no one can top you— he just loves that matching pj’s set that you tend to wear, with the small pink lace ribbons and the silk fabric, the short and small shorts with the sleeveless top.

Gun told you all about what he does for Charles Choi when he fully trusted you and you guys were already dating, and he didn’t expect you to stay. He was scared to tell you with there being a big chance that you’d freak out and leave him, call the cops, and do other things he wouldn’t have ever wanted you of all people to do to him.

Despite all of his fears and bad expectations of what you might do when you learn of the “bad” side of his, he still has you and always will. He really cant believe that you stayed after everything and still look at him the exact same way you did when you first met him. You somehow still retained the same feelings and love you have for him despite everything— and he is insanely in love with you for that. He loves teasing you about it though.

Going back to the present situation you’re in, you were now walking down the aisle as Gun absolutely stared at you in awe. Enthralled by how amazing you looked in white and how such a gorgeous woman was walking down the aisle to meet eye to eye with him and to hold him hand in hand.

The ceremony was breathtakingly beautiful, flowers of all sorts were surrounding the venue with just the right amount of lights that have been set upon with candles and dim lighting. The details in fabrics, decorations, covers, and even the architecture of the venue was simply incredible.

All of this “extraness” as Gun would call it, was for you. Gun wasn’t the type of person to have such a big wedding despite the small number in guests, but he knew you loved all of the things he had made to be included for the special day.

And even though Gun was relatively smart with his money, he was more than willing to go all out on this short event.

After all the agreements and words that the officiator had asked the two of you, you guys finally reached the most important part of the day, the one you have been dreaming of for who knows how long.

The officiator spoke once again, “Do you, Y/N, take Park Jonggun to be your lawfully wedded husband— To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live?”

You looked deeply into Gun’s eyes, “I do.”

The officiator turned over to Gun, “Park Jonggun, do you take this woman to be your wife— to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?

Gun held eye contact with you with a subtle yet sincere smile, “I do.”

He then carefully placed the beautiful ring on your finger, which was followed with you doing the same with his. Just after that was the unity ceremony which was such a bliss.

Of course, once that had passed, came the pronouncement— After more words and hundreds more that you didn’t pay much mind to, the officiator finally looked at the two of you deeply and stated, “I now pronounce you as husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”

And so you guys did kiss, for a pretty long time— With Gun’s hands placed on your waist and one of your hands on his shoulder, and the other nestled against his face. The crowd cheered for the two of you as it all happened.

It was all so, so, so, incredibly divine.

Once the ceremony has ended and the after party was finally about to begin, you kept chatting with the guests, more particularly your closest friends who were also your bridesmaids. It genuinely made them wonder how you could be so in love with someone. The way you talked about him was absolutely adorable considering they’ve met Gun before, and think of him as the luckiest guy on earth, and you as the blindest girl.

And despite not knowing many of Gun’s friends that he invited, they were still so kind to chat with you. They told Gun when he came by that he really was one hell of a lucky guy to have someone so head over heals for him. To which he only agreed with them before he went to attend to the other guests.

“I don’t understand how you could like him so much, he’s garbage..” Goo said as the other guys were talking amongst themselves at the same table you and Goo were at.

“Maybe to you he is— but he is just the sweetest to me, and he’s hot as hell too.” You replied, obviously lost in your thoughts, imagining Gun once again.

“Woman, what the hell do you see in him for him to be considered as sweet? Do you have any idea how much people he’s arranged the organs of?” Goo questioned.

“Oh please, how much have you?”

“Hey. I don’t like getting my hands dirty as much as Gun does.”

“Rightttt..”

Goo came closer to you and whispered in your ear, “Did you know that Gun has liked you before you even attended the same school together..?”

“..What?”

“Yup. You may have been led to believe that you were the first to like him all these years, but he’s just never told you that he’s actually a creepy stalker deep down.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Nope! And you could figure it out for yourself!” Goo exclaimed.

“Oh please! If he hasn’t told me all this time then he wont tell me now, why don’t you just tell me more about it?”

“Fine, buttt! You can’t tell Gun or even give him hints that I was the one to tell you all this, alright?”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that,” you replied.

“Alright-y then! I’m guessing you know Gun as someone you became classmates with in the eight grade, and became friends with in the ninth. Butttt, he actually first heard of you in the seventh grade, and although he wasn’t in your school that time, he transferred the next year so that you two could be classmates. He first saw you walking out of that school and he told me all about how pretty you were and how he’d like to be friends with you,” Goo explained.

“I can’t tell if you’re telling the truth or not..”

“It doesn’t matter what you believe, just know that I am telling you the truth and it’s up to you to take it or not.” He said with a smile spread across his face.

Like all things, the wedding eventually came to an end, it may have been short-lived but it was truly memorable. Of course, what comes after the wedding is the honeymoon.

You guys went on a trip to somewhere tropical for your honeymoon, which resulted in Gun wearing almost nothing most of the time, and if he was wearing something, it’d be boxers or swim trunks, or a more formal outfit that just looked sooooo good on him.

There was this one instance where you guys were about to go to bed, and Gun would usually have on some loose pants or shorts, but this time.. He was wearing absolutely nothing, not even boxers or briefs of some sort. He casually walked over to your shared bed while you stared at him.

“Need something, babe?” Gun asked he tucked himself into the blanket you were also tucked in, but you were both still sitting up.

“Well.. No, but um…” You replied nervously, obviously pent up from the view you had right in front of you.

Gun looks at your eyes then down to his naked body (and mind you, you were wearing a cute yet small and slightly revealing matching- sleepwear set), “Hm? You’ve seen me naked countless times before, and it’s not like you’re a virgin.” He teased as he brushed some of your hair to the side.

“Yeah b-but..” You managed to utter as you were still straight up staring at his body, fresh from the shower.

“But what? Does my wife need help with her words?” Gun teased as he leaned in closer to you and slowly lifted up your top to place his hand on your chest. To which you got very tense and nervous.

I’m sure you already know what followed in the next moments..

But moving forward with a few more days that passed, Gun caught you staring— maybe even admiring one of the pictures that you took together recently, specifically zoomed in on him. You hadn’t realized or even noticed his presence so you were just looking at the picture like some teenage girl, obviously crushing on him.. As if you didn’t just get married to him to him last week.

You were cheekily smiling at the picture, even giggling to yourself at some point when you swiped through some of the other pictures of him and you. You just loved him so bad, that even though you had him right with you, you still resorted to pictures. Gun thought that was adorable. The woman he fell in love with, sat on a chair facing away from where he was sneakily stood at, was swiping away at pictures of him when you didn’t even know that you had him wrapped around your finger.

“What’s my dear wife up to this evening?” He spoke out of nowhere, suddenly startling you. This caused you to have the phone slip out of your hands, but he swiftly caught it and took a closer look at the photos you were staring at.

“What are you doing with pictures that you can’t already to with the real deal right beside you?” He asked as you got increasingly nervous by the seconds passed and you were starting to fidget.

“I was just looking at what photos I wanted to keep.. And what I didn’t want to keep, y’know what I mean..?” You replied.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, my dear oh dearest husband,” you said mockingly— “Why are you interrogating me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Little miss stalker,” Gun said as he sat on the chair across from you, obviously enjoying himself.

“Stalke—? Oh wait-! That reminds me,” your husband’s brow rose at your sudden statement, “Your close friend, Jonggoo, told me a little something when him and I were talking during the after party.” You added.

“And that is..?” Gun asked, skeptical of what you might’ve learned, knowing Goo very well.

“Well,” you shuffled around as you tilted your head and finally spoke, “Is it true that you only came to the school I go to in the first place because you saw me walking out there one time and.. yeah—?”

“That bastard— But, yeah. That is true.” He said without a change in expression and emotion.

You gave him a teasing smile and a soft “hehe” as you looked at him. For some reason, finding out that was true only seemed to make you fall in love even more.

“Oh hush, I don’t understand how much a person could like someone—” He said and he stood up to lift you into his arms for teasing him.

“Hey! Why are you carrying me?” You suddenly yelped. He dropped you gently on to the bed and he climbed on top of you.

“Woman, it’s not good to start something you can’t finish.”

“Tsk! My nickname is now woman?” You pouted.

“My apologies then, my wife.” He said somewhat mockingly to which you pouted even more, so he finally said it in a more sincere manner and gave you a kiss.

“Well?” He asked you as you were still in the same position, with him on top you.

“Well what?” You clarified while your eyes shamelessly wandered through his body, flustered with the position you were in and the teasing he was doing to you.

“You’re eyes seem to be wandering yet again, and your cheeks are redder than rubies.. You just never get tired of me, do you? Gun said in a teasing tone as he leaned in closer.

This honeymoon sure as hell will be going on for a long time.

notes: I think ill prolly put out a masterlist and about me post in like a month or two who knows, also this request has been with me for so long 😭 I am so so so sorry to this anon, please forgive me 😵‍💫 Also, I really hope that this wasn’t too bad and can live up to what you were expecting and requesting, I am so sorry if it doesn’t, I really tried 😭 ANDDD I accidentally deleted the actual request because I got a little lost with trying to navigate tumblr because I accidentally clicked the Queue button and yeah.. I don’t think I really proofread this tbh

- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs

Once again, I hope this isn't too bad for a request, and I'll be doing more characters in lookism so feel free to request!!

[misserabella]

hello!! I would like to make a request please. ellie x reader... imagine the reader is ellie's, hot, attractive, smart, sweet and flirty new roommate who ellie has a fucking crush on and was getting hard to control, mainly because her roommate wore short skirts in most of the time and until one day Ellie comes home and the reader is coming out of the bathroom with only a small towel covering her naked body making Ellie very horny and awkward at the same time? can end in kisses and smut? 🤭

thank you 🫶🏻

pt2!

a/n; you are just a fucking tease and she knows!!😭

playing games ♡

cw; flirty! reader, weed usage, smoking, masturbation (ellie), sexual thoughts, tension, fingering (r receiving), the knee thing, thigh riding, oral (r receiving), nipple play, choking, degradation, praise, cum eating, teasing… 18+ content minors dni!!

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

-

“els, could you please hand me that book?” your sweet voice called out for her, your beautiful eyes begging for her to reach to the top of the bookcase and hand it to you, since you couldn’t reach, even on your tip-toes.

your ass was poking out, your mini little white skirt rolling up your hips as your back arched and your chest rose, nipples hard under your fluffy blouse.

ellie’s body stiffened, and her eyes tried really hard to not trail down your body ‘cause… fuuuck, we’re those lace panties you were wearing? why was that skirt so fucking short, oh god…

“els?” she snapped out of her mind when you called out for her, and you pretended to not know, to not notice the way she was staring at you.

“yeah, sure.” she managed to say, stepping closer, trying not to think too much about how good you smelled. she was almost brushing you as she reached for it, and you moved back just the slightest to lay on her. she took a deep breath and handed it to you.

you smiled, looking up at her with those sweet eyes of yours and plushy lips.

“thanks.” you said, and she had to look and step away, or else she’d sure fuck it all up and kiss you right now.

living with you was easy, or at least it was, before she had developed a crush on you. she couldn’t help it really. ‘cause you were beautiful, and funny, and smart, and gentle and…

shit. she was truly whipped.

she loved spending time with you, and seeing you smile… but also hated the fact that she couldn’t cuddle up with you while on movie night, or kiss the lipgloss off of your lips every time you did your makeup…

sometimes all she wanted was to answer to your flirty texts how she really wanted to, but she knew that you were probably messing up with her since you two were good friends… right?

sometimes… sometimes they really got to her.

you had gone away for the weekend to visit your parents, and you were missing ellie… so why not text her?

els…

hey pretty girl, how’s everything at your parents ?

‘s good, but i miss you

i feel so alone when you’re not around…

ellie couldn’t help but blush, her heart jumping in her chest. she missed you too. so fucking much…

i miss you too

but dw, i’m sure the time will pass soon

but i want you now

her eyes widened, her breath hitched.

you need me?

mmmh, wish you were here

she sighed. she knew you weren’t texting this in a dirty way. you loved having ellie around, and you’d told her so many many times, but her mind couldn’t help but wonder… think about the possibility that you were, think about what you could be wearing. would you be on your pjs? maybe on just a shirt and panties, maybe…

her eyes closed as her hand palmed her cunt over her sweatpants.

she thought about you, about how sweet you sounded late at night when you were tired and begged her to sleep with you, about how you’ll always press yourself against her chest and play with her hair, about how you’d groan when she’d move just to bury your face on her neck, breath hitting her skin…

and before she knew it her hand was down her sweats, and she was so wet…

“fuck.” she groaned. “yeah baby? you need me? need me to fuck you all dumb and pretty for me, hm?” she gasped, her fingers rolled her clit. “i will, shit, i’ll fuck you so good…, will have you dripping all over my sheets…” she moaned loudly when her fingers plunged inside her cunt and started to fuck herself. “fuck, just like that baby, just like that…” her hips pushed against her hand. “so good…” she sighed, biting down on her lip when her fingers curled and hit that deep spot on her gummy walls that had her thighs shaking.

she lost herself to her pleasure, roughly fucking herself while thinking about you, whining and whimpering in need. shit, she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about you this way, but she was gonna cum, and she couldn’t stop.

it wasn’t long before she was cumming all over her fingers, grunting softly and moaning your name. she was breathing heavily once she had came down from it, and her fingers were glistening in cum when she finally pulled them out from her wet pussy.

her response to your message came minutes after.

why don’t i come and visit you?

-

ellie had started to catch some things about you. you seemed to love short skirts, like a lot. you were always wearing them around her. and god if it wasn’t driving her crazy. that, and that you liked to match your underwear to them.

tonight you had gone for black. the tiny mini jean skirt that you were wearing was pleaded, and so short that it was impossible to not show everything. and as always, you’d gone for her favorite: lace. black thin lace that hugged your ass so perfectly it had her uncomfortably shifting on the sofa, underwear getting wet.

fuck, this couldn’t be real. you looked too good, like a mother fucking dream. and she was fucking high.

“so that’s when i told her how bad her flirting was.” you laughed, smoking your own joint.

“how so?” she asked, wanting to hear you talk for ages and ages and ages. there was nothing she loved more than your voice.

“okay. so when you want to flirt with someone, you can do it in two simple ways.” you started, and she got comfortable, shifting to face you on the sofa. “the most subtle one, or the straight one.” she laughed.

“ ‘the subtle one’ ? what’s that?”

“well, for starters. the eyes. you need to like let them fall, just a little bit, look more relaxed, dazed, and blink slow…” you explained. “like this.” you did so, staring at ellie in a way that made her whole body run down in shivers, but she hide it, simply humming.

“yeah? what else?” you tried to hide a smirk, playing dumb. she was getting closer.

“touch.” you muttered, and your hand fell on her thigh, softly, just a simple stroke. ellie almost groaned. “just the slightest, and never enough.” you smiled, never moving up, where she was aching. “ and then… your lips.” you said. “bite them… lick them… if you wanna make it more straight forward do it while staring at the other’s lips.” you showed her, and she almost cursed. ‘cause you were looking at her lips as if you truly wanted to kiss her right now, and her hands were shaking.

she nodded when you looked back at her eyes.

“yeah.” she croaked, nodding. why was it so hot in here? “you’re… good.” she awkwardly said, clearing her throat, and you chuckled as she took a hit of her blunt.

‘you’re good’? seriously? jesus fucking christ.

“oh, i’m definitely good.” you teased her, and she almost choked. you laughed at the way her cheeks flushed and she coughed, green reddish eyes widening. “that’s the more forward option.” you clarified, and winked an eye.

yeah. it’s… definitely forward.

she coughed once again, drinking some water and shifting on her seat.

and you tried to play dumb when half an hour later ellie decided to say good night early, since she was ‘exhausted’, and you surely ignored every and each one of her sighs that came out loud enough to reach your ears on the other side of the wall.

-

ellie considered herself to be a really patient person. she knew how to hold it together. how to keep herself under control. but this…

you were just out of the shower when you got home, covered in just a mere fucking towel that almost didn’t cover you. your whole legs were exposed, your plushy thighs on display… droplets of water were still sticking to your chest, and your cheeks where flushed due to the hot steam. she couldn’t help but stare. stare at the little piece of cloth that hid your core, almost exposing you whole. she shifted awkwardly, trying to look away, but it was hard, every time her eyes finding back your beautiful body. shit. fuck.

your breasts were about to burst out of the towel, and when your eyes found her her heart stopped.

“els! you’re back.” you smiled at her. “how was your day?”

she looked at your eyes, trying really hard to keep them there. “uh…, ehm, good, yeah, what uhh, what about you?” she stuttered, and her cheeks flushed. fuck.

you rose your eyebrows. “everything okay ellie?” you inquired, taking a step closer. she almost took one backwards. “you seem kinda nervous.” you teased her, taking her one step closer.

“what are you doing?” she inquired, her voice low as you lifted your arms up her shoulders and circled her neck. she was boiling, her eyes falling to your chest as you curved your back and pushed it against hers.

“me?” you asked, puppy eyes and a lost gaze. playing pretend. “nothing…” you whispered, leaning in, your gaze on her plushy lips. you gasped and later let out a chocked out laughter when one of her hands snapped up to your neck, holding you still, only mere inches keeping you apart.

“you’re a fucking tease, you know that?” she chuckled, a pissed smirk on her face. “here you got me thinking i’m imagining the way you always seem to wear those tiny clothes around me, or how you talk and look at me… but you really are playing with me, aren’t you?” she muttered, one of her hands gripping your hip. to pull you against her. “did you have fun seeing how much i could take, hm?” her eyes were on your lips too. “did you wanted my attention that bad, baby?” you nodded, body aching. “well, you’ve got it.” she muttered before her lips crashed against yours, a needy moan leaving your mouth as you tugged on her hair and she pushed you against the wall, one of her thighs slotting in between your thighs.

“fuck, ellie…” you cried out when she ground you down on her leg, your clint deliciously rubbing against her jeans and dampening the clothing.

“you’re driving me insane.” she groaned, her skin itching to touch you, her bones aching to have you.

you moaned when the hand that was choking you harshly cupped your tit, the knot of the towel that covered becoming undone and exposing your breasts. her lips latched to your nipple as she pressed you harsher against the wall and the hand on her hip couldn’t help but move south, finding your core. she was needy, so horny that she felt she would die if she stopped touching you, making you let out those beautiful little sounds that you where whimpering.

“shit, and you’re so fucking wet…” you let out a scream when she plunged two fingers inside, instantly hitting your g spot. your back arched when she started to fuck you with them, you being so wet to made them slide easily in and out. “this what you wanted, huh? this is what my pretty girl needed, isn’t it? to be a little rough with her, fuck the little tease out of her, hm?”

“fuck, yes, ellie, yes…” you sobbed, moving against her hand, fucking her fingers deeper into your cunt. “wanted this for so long…” you whimpered in between the pants that left your lungs.

“yeah?” she teased you. “you poor thing. it’s okay baby, gonna make you feel so good…”

next thing you knew? she was on her knees, and you were moaning as her tongue lapped at your juices, lips sucking on your clit. your hand tangled on her hair, pulling for more. she hummed, eating you out with hunger. you were as sweet as she had imagined, and sounded just as beautiful too as she brought you closer and closer to your orgasm.

you were crashing your hips down against her mouth, her nose bumping against her clit over and over again. you were a mess as her fingers started to curve against your g spot, her tongue licking at your leaking hole. she hummed when you tugged on her hair, and you moaned when she pushed you down harder with her hand, eating you out like a starved woman. “fuck ellie, gonna cum…” you whimpered, so close to falling over the edge it was embarrassing.

“you gonna cum on my face, baby?” you nodded and she smirked. “that’s it, cum for me baby, atta girl.” and you did, ellie fucking you through it with her fingers as her lips sucked on your swollen and over sensitive clit, you were moaning her name over and over again as she licked everything you gave her, extending your orgasm and keeping you up when your legs wobbled. “you did so good for me… such a good girl…” you moaned at her praise, and tugged from her hair for more when she was back on her feet and kissing you, letting you taste yourself on her lips. “gonna keep being a good girl and help me make me feel good?” she inquired, and you nodded. “that’s my girl.” she smiled, and before you knew it, she was tugging from your hand towards her bedroom.

♡

a/n; enough smut or do we want more? 🤭

ellie williams masterlist! <3

xxx

[auras-moonstone]

hi! i love the way you write and was hoping if you had time for this rec :) ethan x reader

it's inspired by 'the summer i turned pretty'

y/n is the bailey's childhood friend, she was very close to ethan and quinn growing up, but when she comes back to newyork, richie is suddenly very interested in her and the shitty brother that he is, he know that ethan had a thing for her.

"You think she's pretty?" richie asked ethan one day.

"Yeah, and you do too," ethan replied already annoyed, trying to brush it off.

"I hadn't noticed, really," richie said, smirking.

"Come on, man. I've noticed you noticing"

richie is the it-boy of the town, always gets what he wants, cocky and arrogant. y/n was the only thing ethan had for himself only.

sorry if its long 😭😭 its mostly angsty id say, y/n is surprised someone like richie likes her but her heart has always been yearning for ethan whom she thinks will never see her that way.

childhood best friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes so i really had a lot of fun writing this! hope you like it💓🫶🏻

you’re my best friend — ethan landry

word count: 2,465

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: when y/n goes back to new york city she finds out two things—she’s still crushing on ethan and richie took an interest in her.

WHEN Y/N AND HIS FAMILY HAD TO LEAVE NEW YORK FOR LONDON, THE BAILEY’S WERE LEFT HEARTBROKEN, ESPECIALLY QUINN AND ETHAN. Both of their families had been close since forever, so Quinn, Ethan, Y/N and Richie grew up together and the first three developed a really close friendship.

Y/N’s dad got a promotion, so they had to move to England, where Y/N finished high school and started college. Now, though, her dad had been offered to go back to New York if he wanted. And because he missed the city and his friends, he said yes.

The first thing Y/N did when she found out was text her best friends—Quinn and Ethan, with whom she had kept contact with despite the distance. She was excited to see them, and wondered what she would feel when she finally saw Ethan again. She’d like to think she got over her crush, but that’s because they hadn’t seen each other in four years.

And there she was, about to find out. Y/N was standing in front of the Bailey’s house with her parents behind her. The door opened and Y/N’s chest grew tight in anticipation, and then she held a sigh of disappointment when Wayne’s face appeared.

The older man greeted her parents with enthusiasm, and when it was her time to say hello, the man opened his mouth in shock “Oh my! You’ve grown a lot! It’s nice to see you again, Y/N”

“You too, Wayne” she hugged him awkwardly. Y/N wasn’t his biggest fan, she still remember all too well the way he treated Ethan. Always comparing him to Richie, making him feel like garbage.

“Quinn and Richie are in the kitchen” he informed her. She nodded and made her way to said place.

As soon as she set foot on the big kitchen, she was attacked by a hug. “Oh my god! You’re here!” she recognized the voice of Quinn.

“I’m here! I missed you” she broke the hug to take a look at her friend’s new hairstyle “Red is definitely your color, Q. You look so good.”

“And London certainly benefited you, holy shit. You look hot. Give me a chance?” the red-head joked.

“Absolutely” she laughed, hugging her once more. “I can’t believe I’m back”

“Hi, Y/N” Richie finally managed to find his voice. He had been completely entranced by the girl. Quinn was right, she got hot. He had never noticed her, because well, he had always seen her as his sibling’s friend and because she had been 15 when she left. Now, she was 19 and super attractive.

“Oh, sorry. Hi, Richie. Nice to see you again” she gave him a little wave. Y/N wasn’t sure she liked the way Richie was shamelessly checking her out. “Where is Eth?” she tried not to sound so excited.

“Oh, he’s in his room, as always. Drowning himself in text books and having no social life whatsoever” Richie rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“He doesn’t know you’re coming today, so go surprise him” Quinn said, eyeing the way Y/N’s knuckles turned white. She had always hated when people talked badly about Ethan, and apparently, it didn’t change.

Y/N walked up the stairs, anguish filling her stomach and her heart beating so fast it made her cheeks turn red. She stood in front of the door, trying to gain the courage to knock. There was just one door separating her from Ethan, the guy who had been her first crush ever. Her best friend in the entire world.

“Come in” she heard, and almost fainted. Not because she was seconds away from seeing his face after four years, but because she noticed the change in his voice. It was deeper, raspier and… hot.

Y/N took a deep breath and opened the door. There he was, lying on his bed, headphones flattening his perfect curly hair and book open on his lap.

His round brown eyes found hers, and he jumped off the bed so fast he got dizzy. Y/N laughed and ran into his arms, that were instantly wrapped around her lower back to pull her up and against his chest. Her legs locked around his waist.

“Please tell me you’re real and I’m not making you up” Ethan said, face between her neck and shoulder blades.

“I’m real” she laughed. “And I’m back to stay. Holy shit, you got so fucking tall”

“And you have not grown and inch” he joked, letting her feet touch the ground again.

“Mean” Y/N punched his arm playfully. “Where is your Justin Bieber haircut?!”

“That was a phase I don’t want to remember” he shook his head. “What, you don’t like my curls?”

“No… I love them. You have amazing hair” Y/N complimented.

Ethan blushed, and took his time to let his eyes take in her face. Her factions were more defined, her lips were fuller, eyes a little darker but still very bright, and smile as warm as ever. She had grown a bit, but she was still short compared to him, her head barely reached his shoulders. She looked even prettier than before, and Ethan couldn’t believe he would be able to see her everyday.

The tall boy had also changed a lot, and Y/N needed to figure out how to stop looking at him before she weirded him out. His jawline was sharp as a diamond, his cheekbones more defined, and surprisingly, he had muscles. Enthralling, captivating muscles. He was pretty, adorable and hot at the same time and Y/N’s doubts faded away—her crush on him was still very much intact.

“You look stunning, Y/N/N. I missed you” he said in a low voice. They were so close, his arms still around her, and the moment felt intimate and cozy. It was at that moment Y/N realized how much she had missed her home.

“I missed you too” she smiled, happiness was radiating off her. Y/N was so happy she could cry. “Can I hug you again?”

“You don’t have to ask. You know I love your hugs, and I missed them. So, you’ll have to hug me a lot to make up for the lost time” Ethan answered, chest almost exploding for the amount of adoration he felt for her.

None of them knew for how long they stayed in each others arms, if it had been just minutes or hours, but they did know that either way, it hadn’t been enough. They could’ve stayed like that forever.

SAYING THAT Y/N CAUGHT THE ATTENTION OF EVERY BLACKMORE STUDENTS WOULD BE GOING A LITTLE TOO FAR, but she certainly had the attention of the people she had classes with. Not only because of her looks, but also because she entered in the middle of the semester, which was extremely unusual. Y/N hated the twenty pairs of eyes on her, but she was thankful she at least had Ethan by her side.

The nerdy boy felt a little uneased by the reaction Y/N caused. She had always been someone only Ethan used to notice—thought he never understood why, because she was the most amazing girl in the world—, and the thought of that changing made him panic. Because there were so many guys who were better than him, and now that she had options, Ethan knew Y/N would never choose him.

“How is your first day going?” to her surprise, Richie asked.

“Um, good?” she said, unsure. It was weird, Richie and her had never been friends. He had never cared about her well-being, what was his deal now? She didn’t know.

But Ethan did, he could see it in his brother’s eyes. Richie was interested in Y/N and it made his blood boil. He knew Ethan had feelings for her, but of course he didn’t care.

“Great. If you need anything, feel free to tell me” he said, winking at her before leaving.

“That’s the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. Is he okay? Did he fell from the stairs and hit his head or something?” Y/N asked Ethan.

The brunet laughed “He kind of became the ‘it’ boy of college, which fed his ego and makes him brave enough to flirt with every hot girl that crosses his path. You’re his next target.”

Richie had always been popular amongst girls—he was attractive, had that attitude girls found hot, and was sometimes funny—and exactly the type who would never look at Y/N’s way, or so she thought.

She couldn’t imagine herself with him, not only because ‘it’ boys weren’t her kind of boys, but also because her heart yearned for Ethan. Even when she knew he would never look at her as more than a friend.

“Well, time to damage it boy’s ego” Y/N said.

Ethan looked at her surprised “You are not into him?”

“Ethan, what the actual fuck? No!“ she laughed in shock. Wasn’t it painfully obvious that she had a crush on him and not Richie? Guess not. Or maybe Ethan was way too oblivious.

“Okay” wasn’t she imagine it or did she actually hear relief in his voice?

ETHAN AND RICHIE SAT ON THE BEACH CHAIRS NEXT TO THEIR POOL, THEIR EYES ON THE VOLEY MATCH HAPPENING IN FRONT OF THEM. It was Quinn and Y/N vs. Tara and Mindy, and Ethan’s eyes were specifically focused on Y/N’s figure. Richie couldn’t pass the opportunity to tease him.

"You think she's pretty?" Richie asked him, sarcasm present in his voice.

"Yeah, and you do too," his brother replied, already annoyed, trying to brush it off.

"I hadn't noticed, really," Richie said, smirking. He enjoyed seeing his brother angry so much, and he knew Y/N was his weak point.

"Come on, man. I've noticed you noticing. And she did too” Ethan said, frowning.

“She does? Maybe I should ask her out, then.” Richie said, hoping this would make Ethan fume.

However, the nerdy boy gave him a smile. “Do it.” he tried to suppress a smirk at his brother’s confused reaction.

“Hey, enjoyed the game?” Y/N asked. They had been so sumerged in their conversation they hadn’t noticed the match ended.

Ethan flashed her his sweet pretty smile, which she mirrored “You’re good, Y/N/N.”

“Thanks, Eth” if her cheeks hadn’t been already red from the heat and the exercise, Ethan would’ve noticed the effect his words had on her.

“Do you want water, gorgeous?” Richie asked, with a sly grin. Ethan clenched his jaw and Y/N tried not to make a disgusted face.

“Yes, but I’ll go get it” Y/N said walking to the kitchen before Richie could beat her. Ethan followed her, feeling Richie’s eyes on the back of his head. “Does he not get the hint? I have given no signs that I like him”

“I should probably warn you, he’s going to ask you out” Ethan told her, leaning against the counter and she poured water in a glass.

“Oh god, you know what? It’s fine, I’m just going to tell him he’s not the one I’m interested in” Y/N said.

Ethan stiffened “What do you mean by that? You’re interested in someone?” his chest contracted.

Y/N then realized what she had said. “Oh… well, yeah.”

The boy nodded, trying not to show how much it hurt “Are they from London?”

Y/N shook her head “No, he is from here.” she admitted.

“Oh… you met him at college?” he asked. Why was he asking? He was a fucking masochist.

“No… but he goes to our college”

“So that means you met him before you moved to London” Ethan deduced.

Y/N nodded “Waay before I moved. I have known him my whole life” she said. He’s got to figure it out now.

“I have no fricking idea” Ethan laughed. “I don’t remember you hanging out with someone who wasn’t Quinn or me.”

“Ethan are you serious?” Y/N groaned. Guess he really was oblivious. Ethan looked at her, very lost. “I’m talking about you, you idiot. Honestly, for someone that smart you can really be dumb sometimes.”

“Me? You like me?” Ethan pointed at himself in disbelief.

“I have liked you since we were fourteen, Eth. Never stopped liking you” Y/N smiled nervously. What was going to happen next? Rejection or reciprocation?

“Are you sure?” he asked in a low tone.

Y/N let out a giggle “Yes, Ethan, pretty sure I know my emotions. Do you know yours?”

“I win” Ethan said, making her frown, not understanding what he meant. “I have liked you since we were thirteen. So I won.”

The girl rolled her eyes, smile painted on her face as she walked closer to him and hugged him. “Well, guess the loser is the one who has to ask the question” Ethan raised his eyebrows in amusement, liking were this conversation was going. “Ethan, would you like to be my boyfriend?”

“I would love to be your boyfriend, Y/N” he replied. Y/N could feel his heartbeats through his shirt as his arms were wrapped around her lower back. “Can I kiss you, girlfriend?”

“Yes, you can, boyfriend” she closed her arms around his neck and brought him down to meet her lips. Mint got mixed with cherry, and their soft lips danced with each other in one perfect and very awaited kiss.

The slow and calm kiss turned into a rougher and wilder one. His hands went under her white tank top as hers messed with his soft curls. Ethan turned them around, so that she was now pressed against the counter. But soon, he lifted her up and set her on it. She opened her legs so he could step between them and deepened the kiss.

“You’re my best friend” Y/N whispered breathlessly against his lips.

Ethan smiled “You’re my best friend, too. I love you”

“I love you” she said back, before kissing him once again.

Quinn, Richie, Tara and Mindy entered the kitchen and stood still at the scene happening in front of them. The two teenagers were so engrossed in their lustful kiss that they didn’t notice them until Quinn yelled “Not in the counter, we use it to cook!”

“Kids nowadays have zero respect” Mindy shook her head.

“This is a family house!” Tara exclaimed. Richie just stood there completely dumbfounded, which made Ethan feel even more victorious.

“Oh, we have been waiting this for years, leave us alone” Y/N rolled her eyes, but got off the counter anyways. Ethan draped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“They’re cute, you have to give them that” Tara said to Quinn.

“Are you two official?” Quinn asked, now unable to hide her smile.

“Yes” they said in unison, smiling to each other.

[halsteadlover]

Unexpected

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested by @stu-machers-girl: Reader had known Jay since she’d first started as a dispatcher for Chicago. It wasn’t long until she’d developed a crush on the older man. She didn’t say anything since she realized he was dating Erin but then she left. She left and Jay got kidnapped; reader heard it over the radio. Hank texted her to say they’d found him and she left her job without saying anything and sped to the hospital. When she saw the blonde detective in the waiting room they got into a fight and reader punched her. She refused to leave the hospital until Jay woke up and laid in bed with him the entire time. When he woke up, in the heat of the moment her lips were on his in a moment.

• Warnings: slight mention of injuries and ‘violence’ (pls bear with me I can’t write fight scene not even for saving my life), cuss words. I don’t know, let me know if there’s anything else <3

• Word count: 8368.

• A/N: so yeah, I got carried away, pls don’t hate me, I think that’s the longest piece I’ve ever written 😭. I changed it up a bit at the end, I hope it’s okay. Please let me know what you think of this? I hope you’ll like it and I already apologize for any grammar error ❤️ comment, like and reblog if you want, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you so much for your constant support, I love you all xx

It was hard.

God, why did being in love have to be so tough?

You thought it’d be easier to control your feelings. You thought you'd be better at pretending everything was fine, pretending your heart didn't actually open into a chasm every time you even heard his name.

You thought it was just a simple crush, a simple infatuation that – knowing it couldn't go any further – it’d soon vanish. But unfortunately it wasn't easy and you soon found yourself in a spiral of suffering and thuds in your stomach. Your mind knew there would never be anything but your heart didn't want to understand it.

Falling in love with Jay wasn't planned, you’d never imagine it and you couldn't even explain how it happened or when. It's those things that just happen without any warning.

You first met Jay after your first shift as a paramedic at Molly's, where your colleagues used to meet after their shifts.

You were sitting at a table with a beer in front of you, you didn't know anyone yet – except for the colleagues you had met during the day who weren't there – and you looked around, sipping the drink from time to time, wondering when you were going to start to feel that place like home.

You moved to Chicago a month prior and it goes without saying you underestimated how difficult it’d be to start a new life in a new city, starting from scratch.

Jay had seen you from afar, looking tired and disoriented and for some reason he had decided to approach you.

When you first saw him you felt the air being cut from your chest, you didn't expect someone – someone so damn beautiful – to approach you.

That stranger you soon discovered was named Jay found himself talking with you, asking you questions about yourself and why he had never seen you before. You explained to him that you had just started working and you found out he had been a detective in the Intelligence unit for about six months.

You were never one to talk to strangers, to tell someone something about your life on the first time you met them, but for some strange reason those bright green eyes and his reassuring smile made you feel at ease, and as the evening wore by, you thanked yourself for not deciding to stay home that night.

Jay was an angel to you, literally.

After that evening he promised you he’d give you a tour of the city, making you visit the most beautiful places and taking you to the best places to eat. You exchanged numbers and he also made you promise you’d call him whenever you felt alone and wanted company.

He also introduced you to the rest of his team, as well as his closest friends, and they were just as kind and welcoming, letting you know you’d meet several times even during work shifts because of criminals and things like that.

Three years have passed since that evening and Jay kept all his promises.

Over time he became your closest friend and you spent time together whenever you both could. You had become his anchor and he had become your safe haven.

You had promised yourself over the time that your friendship would never go any further – also because Jay had never done anything that could’ve made you think otherwise – but the more time you spent together, the more you found yourself falling more and more in love with him.

You’d never tell him about it, even if it meant crying nights where you wanted to do nothing but run away and forget about him. If it was initially bearable and there was your friendship to give you strength, seeing him with another woman broke your heart more than you ever expected.

Erin was a colleague of his and you had seen their love story born right away. You'd heard Jay confide in you about her, asking you for advice on her when they were fighting, and you were there every time listening to him trying not to cry in front of him. There were times when Jay noticed that there was something wrong with you, he knew you by now, but you always managed to disengage the conversation by telling him that you were just tired from work.

You promised yourself you'd always be by his side but seeing him so happy with her… Damn it, it was so hard.

You couldn't take it anymore, you were a walking disaster and all your colleagues and friends saw how you weren't as happy and carefree as you used to be. Sylvie, who was one of your closest friends and who knew all the history with Jay, tried to always be by your side, convincing you to move on, to try to open up your world and that you didn't have to cry for him forever.

She was right, completely right.

Because of this, you had begun to distance yourself from Jay a little bit, making excuses not to go out after work or limiting interactions during the shift to the minimum possible and not speaking to him except from a professional point of view.

This broke your heart, you missed spending time with him, God how you missed him, but more than him you had to love yourself and you knew spending time with him, seeing him with another woman only would made you suffer.

Jay had immediately perceived this change but he couldn't explain why. He had tried so many times to talk to you but you didn't want to tell him what was going on and it made him particularly tense and uncomfortable.

Even Erin had noticed his moodiness and she hated to know it was because of you. She hated you were always there, in front of him, in his head, always on the way, she hated seeing how much he cared about you, she hated the way he dropped everything and ran to you whenever you needed him.

She hated you.

And, dear lord, how much you hated her too. The feelings between you and her were pretty mutual.

You didn't know it, but you had been the cause of many arguments a thousand times between them. Erin wanted him to stay away from you, Jay refused to and always told her if she really wanted him you were part of the deal, take it or leave it.

You were at home one evening, resting on the sofa after a grueling work shift while watching a movie on TV and eating some chips. Sylvie had offered you to go to some bar and get drunk but you declined, not in the mood to socialize or even drink. You just wanted to stay at home and rest, hoping that day would soon be forgotten.

The ringing of your doorbell almost made you jump and you furrowed your eyebrows, not expecting anyone at the time. You placed the bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of the sofa and got up and as you rubbed your hands on your shirt to remove the crumbs from the chips, you went towards the door.

You expected it to be Sylvie but, after looking through the peephole, your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Jay.

“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, glancing at your shabby outfit which consisted of a simple pair of midnight blue leggings and a gray t-shirt.

What was he doing there?

“Y/N open the door, I know you're home,” Jay's voice came muffled through the door. For a moment you considered ignoring him until he got tired of it and walked away but you knew that would never happen and he’d keep banging on the doorbell until you opened it.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and slow down your racing heartbeat, and opened the door after removing the chain.

Jay looked up at you, his features visibly relaxing as his eyes fell on your figure. Your mouth felt dry as your gaze traveled up and down his body for an instant, as if to accept that he was fine.

“Hi,” you muttered, your voice so thin you were afraid he might not hear you. Your stomach was in a vice and a flock of butterflies had exploded inside you. A wave of heat run through your body and you were sure the flush of your cheeks was comparable to a tomato. “Come in.”

Why were you feeling so damn nervous? He was always Jay, he was always your best friend.

But the best friend I love madly, added your conscience.

Maybe you were nervous because you haven't seen him in two weeks, avoiding him like the plague.

You opened the door and moved to the side, giving him space to enter and as he passed the trail of his scent hit you full in the face making you almost faint.

I can’t do this.

Jay sat on the couch without saying anything, glancing at the TV that was still playing the movie, waiting for you to join him.

“You okay?” you asked as your eyes noticed the way his face was screwed up in a less than happy expression. You tried to avoid him yes, for your own good, but the thought something might’ve happened to him was tormenting you. He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands against his face in frustration before glancing at you.

“I don’t know to be honest,” he replied, but without elaborating further “What about you? Why did you disappear for the last couple of weeks? I texted you I don't know how many times and called you a thousand times. Did I do something wrong?”.

The crack your heart made was so loud you thought even Jay could hear it from where he sat. Your brain stopped working for a moment trying to think of a response to give him that wasn't ‘you know Jay I was avoiding you because I love you and because I hate seeing you with that snake’.

“N-no, of course not Jay how can you think that?” You replied, moving closer to him and taking his hand in yours, instantly feeling a rush of shivers running down your spine. He glanced at your clasped hands and then at you, with an expression you couldn't quite read.

“I… I don't know,” he sighed, his hand caressing the back of your hand, something he didn’t quite realize he was doing “I just… I missed you.”

If your heart was already broken, at this very moment it exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti and colors inside your chest. It was as if you had been punched in the stomach, the breath cut from your lungs. It was so good to hear him say it but so painful at the same time.

You wanted to yell at him to not to say it again, because you knew his ‘I missed you’ wasn't meant in the same way you missed him.

“I missed you too so much Jay,” you almost whispered, smiling at the same time to mask the sudden urge to cry. You let go of his hand, unable to maintain that contact anymore without your stomach doing somersaults. The absence of his warmth was immediately felt but you tried to remain as impassive as possible. “What happened? If you've come here at almost midnight it's because there's something wrong. Do you want to talk to me about it?”.

He nodded feebly, taking his gaze away from you to the ceiling. He was leaning back on the sofa, his head on it as his eyes roamed the white ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing on the planet, his hands folded on his stomach.

“Erin and I broke up.”

You’d imagined anything, a problem at work, maybe a family issue, anything else, but not the words that had just slipped from his mouth.

You couldn't hide the shock as your eyes and mouth opened wide and you even felt guilty for an instant when the only feeling you felt was… Relief, joy. “W-what? How? When? Why?” You bombarded him with questions “I'm sorry Jay,” but you weren't sorry about what had happened. You were sorry because seeing him like that was painful and you would’ve done anything to make him feel better, seeing his beautiful smile on his face.

He brought his eyes from the ceiling to yours, turning his head to the side to look at you. He didn't say anything, he just looked at you. For the second time since he came over, you couldn't read his gaze and you would’ve paid gold to know what he was thinking.

He was looking at you and you felt as if a rope had been placed around your neck and your grip tightened by the way your breath was cut in half. He looked at you with such an intensity as if he wanted to read your soul, analyzing every inch of your face at the same time and in that moment more than ever you wanted to shrink to such a point you’d disappear from his sight.

He looked at you as if he was looking at you for the first time and you felt vulnerable, exposed and while his eyes were chained to yours for an instant you feared he could find out about your feelings for him just by the was his eyes were piercing you.

It was you who looked away first, unable to maintain eye contact anymore and fearing you might say something stupid if you continued to stare at him for another few seconds.

Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it would stop any second as you kept repeating yourself to stay calm. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of fading and you thanked God that the lights in the living room were off and that there was only the one on the TV which, however, didn't illuminate quite well your face.

The sigh Jay let out made you look up at him, noticing he was still looking at you. But when your eyes ended up on his again, he was the one to look away.

“Don’t need to be sorry,” he said simply and you nodded though he couldn't even see you, “She left.”

For the second time another wave of shock went through you and a thousand questions crossed your mind. You couldn't say you weren't sorry, you would’ve been hypocritical to say otherwise, but you wondered what the hell had happened. How did they go from being the happiest couple alive to her walking away? For what reason did she leave?

It wouldn't have surprised you at all if she was the reason for the breakup, you didn't know her well – you didn't want to – but based on what Jay told you, she had a habit of running away from every fight and problem that came up.

“She always does, doesn’t she? She will definitely come back,” you answered even as you prayed deep inside with every fiber of your being that it wouldn't happen. You knew you were selfish, he was hurting but damn it, you were human too and you couldn't mask what you didn't feel.

He shook his head slightly. “No, I don't think she will,” He lifted his head, sitting up straight and looking at you again. “And for what that matters, I don't even care if she comes back or not,” he paused again, thinking about his words “But, I don't want to talk about it.”

“Yeah sorry,” there was a moment of silence where you looked at each other again and the way he was looking at you was making your stomach twist like a contortionist “But just tell me how you are you feeling Jay, I hate seeing you like this,” and you were sincere, although you didn't like Erin, you wished nothing but happiness for Jay and seeing him like this made you feel as helpless as few other times.

“I'm fine now,” he replied and he really seemed to be sincere “Really, I feel… Relieved. I just needed to be with my best friend now. You made me worry so much you know that?”.

My best friend.

You tried to ignore the thud in your heart. “I'm really sorry Jay. It was such a hectic time between work I didn't have time for anything else. I'm sorry I wasn't around so much.”

He shook his head again, as if to tell you not to worry by smiling weakly and causing a feeling of warmth to spread through your heart. “What matters to me is that you’re okay I… I really missed you.”

-

The next day you went to work with the dark circles under your eyes reaching down to your feet. You only managed to sleep a couple of hours the night before, having spent most of the night talking to Jay.

God how much you loved that man.

When you were with him it was as if the world around you vanished and it didn't matter how long you lost touch or didn't speak to each other, the moment you’d meet again everything was back to the way it was before, as if time had never passed.

You found yourself talking late, losing track of time, laughing and joking as always and it was times like this that reminded you why you were in love with him. Jay didn't stop smiling even for a minute and seeing him so carefree, even if only for a while, was beautiful. He deserved to be happy, always.

You talked and talked and talked until you fell asleep on the sofa in each other's arms. Only when you opened your eyes you realized your head was resting on his chest and his arm was possessively encircling your waist. You stayed paralyzed for an instant, afraid to make any movement that might wake him up.

He must not have noticed it.

You cautiously sat up and then brought your gaze to him, letting your eyes wander over his relaxed features and you let yourself go for a moment to your fantasy. A fantasy where Jay being there next to you was normal, were you could wake up every morning in his arms as he tightly hugged you.

During your work shift you tried to keep your mind busy, focusing only on the calls and the patients you’d be treating.

Two days flew by like this, with Sylvie doing nothing but tease you about Jay after you told her what had happened. You omitted he and Erin had broken up, this wasn't about you and it wasn't your call to tell other people.

However, you hadn't heard from Jay for two days, he didn't text you or even replied to yours. Only then you understood how he must’ve felt when it was you who didn't reply to his text and you promised yourself you’d never do anything like this again.

You were scared to death because he didn't usually disappear like that, so suddenly, and given the nature of his work you couldn't help but imagine that something terrible had happened and the more time passed, the more this thesis was confirmed.

Of course, you knew he couldn't always answer the phone, and there had been other times when, for example, following an undercover operation you didn't hear from him for even a week but in those cases he did everything to warn you first, reassuring you’d see each other as soon as possible.

This time, however, you had a horrible feeling, a premonition that was sadly confirmed by Voight.

You were packing up the ambulance near the end of your shift when your cell phone rang and Sergeant Voight's name appeared on your screen. Your heart instantly skipped a beat and you instantly understood something serious must’ve happened for him to call you.

“Hello? Sarge?” you answered almost immediately.

“Hi kid,” his hoarse voice replied “I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s about Halstead…”

You closed your eyes as if those words had caused you physical pain, as if someone had hit you in the face. All the colors disappeared from your face and anxiety twisted your stomach.

“What happened? Is he fine? Tell me he's okay please,” you spoke frantically, getting out of the ambulance and closing it “Where is he?”.

You heard Voight sigh on the other end of the phone. “He's fine now, he… He was kidnapped but we found him. We are at Med's. I wanted to tell you before you heard from someone else. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.”

You couldn't describe the horrible feeling that went through you hearing those words. It was like someone ripped your heart out of your chest clamping your lungs, you stopped breathing for a second and you didn't care how exaggerated that might be, but whatever happened to him you wished it was you on the hospital bed.

“I'll be right there,” you said and closed the call before waiting for Voight’s answer. You didn't even care about warning your boss, much less some of your colleagues watched you ran away like you were nuts, you just wanted to go to him, you just wanted to see him, make sure he was okay.

The car journey to the Med's was one of the most distressing and longest of your life. You nearly collided with other cars several times but at that moment the only thought that crossed your mind was Jay.

What had happened to him? Was it serious? Was he awake?

God please let him be okay.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. That wasn't the time to cry, to be weak, you had to be there for Jay.

You thought for a moment what would happen if… God, fuck, you didn't even want to think about it, you couldn't imagine it. You couldn't even think of not having him in your life, you couldn't imagine not being able to see him anymore, getting lost in his eyes, never hearing his laughter or seeing his radiant smile again. You couldn't even think you couldn't hug him when you were sad, stuff yourselves with food watching trash TV until a nervous breakdown.

You didn't even realize you were crying until you got to Med's and parked your car. You quickly dried your tears and ran to the hospital, where, in the waiting room, you found all of his colleagues. And by all of his colleagues, you meant everyone.

Erin Lindsay was there and her disgusted gaze was on you.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed approaching you threateningly. You didn't let yourself be intimidated, on the contrary, the mere tone of her voice made your blood boil in your veins. How dare she talk to you like that?

“Don't you even dare take one more step towards me. Move out to way, I’m here to see Jay,” you spat with venom as the others looked at each other unsure whether to intervene or not.

“Lindsay…” Voight called back, grabbing her arm but she jerked away from his grip, still glaring at you with contempt.

“Turn your ass and get the fuck out of here. I've had enough of you, I'm so tired of always having you around Y/N. Why don't you just understand he doesn't want you?!”.

“You seem to be very familiar with walking away and running away don't you? Isn't that what you always do huh? Avoid problems? You really got some nerve to be here after you left him,” you pointed a finger at her. “I'm not going to stand here and make you yell at me. You really want me to believe you care about him? You wouldn't even be here if he wasn’t kidnapped!”.

“I left him? Is that what he told you?” Erin let out a wry laugh “I can’t believe it. I really wonder what he saw in you. Seriously, look at yourself. You're so pathetic...”

A wave of anger shot through your body and before she could even continue her insults, your fist slammed into her face, causing her to flinch back. Everyone let out a verse of bewilderment, immediately intervening to separate you and Lindsay who were about to kill each other right then and there.

“Y/N! Fuck’s sake! Just calm down! Take it easy, it’s okay,” Kevin dragged you away, shaking you off your shoulders as if to bring you to your senses. You watched her walk away with Voight, one hand on her bleeding nose.

You knew the repercussions there would be but you couldn't care less because it felt so good. You've wanted to do this for so long, for the way she's always treated you, for the contempt she's always shown towards you.

“I'm calm, I'm okay,” you muttered, throwing your hands up in surrender and trying to ignore the pain in the hand you punched her with. “I'm sorry about this but… I have to…”

“I know that's not true,” Kevin chuckled “Go,” he nodded towards Jay's room and without having to repeat it twice you immediately went to him.

You entered the room and closed the door behind you, immediately glancing at the man lying on the bed and the sound of his heartbeats coming from the machine filled the silence.

Your heart broke into a thousand pieces as you saw his battered face, a purple bruise on his cheek, a cut on his eyebrow and and other one on the lower lip which felt deep and quite sore. But despite this he was still the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life.

You approached him, keeping as quiet as possible in an effort not to wake him up. He almost looked like an angel while he slept, as if nothing could hurt or disturb him at that moment.

You placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it with such delicacy and lightness you were almost uncertain of the contact. Your fingers ran through his hair, a gesture you knew he loved and made him relaxed.

Your eyes traveled down his chest and only then you noticed the white bandage that wrapped around his chest. You tried to keep from crying. You hated it, you hated he was suffering, you hated you weren't there with him to help him. Your heart was tightened even more as you noticed red marks on his wrists, some superficial and some a little deeper, a sign that he had been tied up.

“What have they done to you?” You whispered and your eyes were on his face again, continuing to run your fingers gently through his hair. “I'm so sorry Jay.”

You didn't know exactly what you were apologizing for, you just did.

You stayed next to him for an indefinite amount of time, you didn't look at the time but you understood that hours had passed when the sunlight was replaced by the darkness of the night.

Will tried to convince you to go home and rest and that he’d call you for any news but you refused, you didn't want Jay to wake up alone in that cold hospital room. You knew how much he loathed them and you wanted him to see a friendly face as soon as he opened his eyes.

The attempt of Jay's team was also useless, when they understood you’d never leave until he woke up, they recommended you to update them on any changes.

You spent hours sitting on a chair next to his bed until you too were asleep, your arms resting on Jay's legs.

When he opened his eyes he found himself plunged into darkness if it hadn't been for the dim light from the hospital chandelier. It didn't take him long to remember what had happened, what had led him to be there. He tried to stand up but an excruciating pain shot through his chest, forcing him to lay down again.

This and also the sleeping figure in front of him.

A small smile was born on his swollen lips as he watched you sleep sitting on the chair that seemed anything but comfortable. How long have you been there?

He raised a hand and didn't even have time to rest it on your arm before you snapped sitting, looking around panicked for a moment. Your eyes widened to see Jay in front of you with his eyes finally open and the joy you felt in that moment was like nothing else you've ever felt.

“Jay! Thank God you're awake!” You exclaimed and in the joy of the moment you hugged him, squeezing him harder than you should’ve and letting a small cry of pain escape him “Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,” you pulled away from him “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I call Will?”.

Jay shook his head slightly, a small smile on his lips. “I am fine. Where is the bed remote control? I need to sit up.”

You quickly grabbed the remote from the nightstand next to the bed and handed it to him, watching as the back of the bed lifted and he settled into position so he could finally take a good look at you. “Come here, why are you so far away?” He patted the mattress and you didn't let yourself repeat it twice, sitting next to him.

“Voight called me…” you were the first to speak “But he didn't tell me what happened.”

Jay let out a sigh, flinching as a pain shot through his chest. “It was an undercover mission, nothing too difficult. I was supposed to exchange the money with the drugs and then arrest them. Easy,” he explained, “I don’t know how but someone of them found out I was a cop so they kidnapped me and as you can see they beat me up for the holidays.”

Your eyes filled with tears but that time you couldn't hold them back. You felt a whirlwind of emotions, fear, happiness, anxiety, relief and it was too much for you to hold back and you lowered your gaze to not let him see you.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jay's voice came as a sweet melody to your ears “Please don't cry Y/N, I don’t like seeing you like this. It's okay now, I'm fine, it's going to take a lot longer for you to get rid of me,” he attempted to reassure you. “Come here darling.” His hands pulled you close as his arms wrapped around you in a warm hug. You hugged him back, being careful not to hurt him further, and let yourself go into a liberating cry, so grateful you still had the opportunity to be able to do this.

His lips kissed your cheek and your heart leapt in your chest at the contact.

God Jay you're killing me.

“I'm so sorry Jay, you shouldn't be the one to comfort me now,” you murmured, pulling away from the hug, still looking down. You grabbed a tissue off the top of the nightstand and wiped away your tears, still shaken from everything that had happened. You felt so selfish at the same time Jay was on a hospital bed and you were the desperate one.

“Y/N don't even say that as a joke. Look at me, please.”

You did as he told you and your eyes met his, triggering a sensation that was like being kicked in the stomach.

“I'm fine, okay? These are just bruises, they hurt but they will go away. I wish I could tell you it's the last time but I can't, it will happen again but I want you to know I’ll always find a way back to you, okay? I won't leave you alone.”

His words were like a snake venom and antidote at the same time.

“Jay… Please…” you whispered, tears still flowing from your eyes “Don't do this to me.”

A confused expression appeared on his face. “What do you mean?”.

You shook your head, as if trying to tell him it didn't mean anything. “I just… I was so scared Jay…I thought about losing you…”

Jay reached for your hand but a frown appeared on his face as he noticed, despite the dim lights, the swelling on it. “Y/N what the hell is this? What happened to you? Why is your hand like this?”.

Shit.

You withdrew your hand, moving your fingers slightly but not showing how sore it was. You had never thrown a punch before and never imagined how painful it was. “Nothing. I closed my hand in the car door on the way here, it's no big deal.”

You knew he’d never buy this excuse but it was worth a try.

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? Tell me the truth. Did someone hurt you?”.

You sighed. “You’ll hate me.”

Jay looked at you like you just sprouted a second head, really confused. “What? Why on earth should I hate you?”.

“I punched Erin,” you blurted out so quickly, wishing he hadn't heard you but when you saw his eyes widen so wide they almost popped out of their socket, you knew he definitely did.

“What? You really did it? Seriously?” He struggled to imagine that you could do something like that, you’d never hurt even a fly. “Why? Why happened?”.

“She started saying bad things to me and I got so mad so I just… Punched her,” you sighed “I didn't even realize it… I know I shouldn't have…”

Jay was silent for a moment, still unable to believe what you had just said. He knew there was bad blood between you and his ex-girlfriend but he never imagined you’d even punch her but he also knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that if you had come this far it was because you had a reason to.

“You hate me now right?”.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not Y/N. I mean, I don't like the idea of you going around punching people but I guess you had your reasons.”

You thought back to Erin's words and that was enough to make you angry again. She deserved it all right and you don't regret it even a bit.

“She's still your ex girlfriend…”

“I know.”

You noticed the way his expression didn't change a bit at the mention of her, he had no reaction. He was more worried about your hand then her. “You don’t care she was here?”.

He remained silent for a moment, observing you for a few moments and then shook his head slightly. “Not one bit, I told I wouldn’t care if she came back. I know it's a bad thing to say, but that's how it is.”

“But you were together until a few days ago how can you not care?” You were so confused.

“I’m the one broke up with her, after all. I think it's normal.”

It wasn’t but still.

It was your turn to widen your eyes and mouth in shock. Did you hear that right?

“What? Really?! I thought she was the one who left you.”

You never expected it, you really thought sue was the one who suddenly left him and not the other way around. You had so many questions to ask him but you didn't know whether to ask him or not, after all it was none of your business.

He nodded. “It wasn't fair to just go on with that relationship, not for me or for her.”

“And why’s that?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer. Your eyes were fixed on him and even with that little light they managed to shine and stand out. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought you were having a heart attack at any moment, the air suddenly became tense and every cell in your body seemed to be on fire.

“I…” he spoke “I have someone else in mind.”

Your pounding heart stopped for an instant and the thump in your stomach was such that you felt like you were about to throw up.

“Oh.”

That was all you could say. You tried to keep your expression neutral as if these short simple words hadn't hit you full in the face like a lorry. Being run over would’ve probably hurt less.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks and pressing nails against your palms to avoid crying in front of him again.

You couldn't believe it, or rather, yes, you could believe it but you didn't imagine it would hurt so much. You couldn’t believe it was happening again. It was like Erin all over again.

Oh god no please, I can’t do this.

You wondered who she was. Was she someone you knew? He had never mentioned someone else yet you two talked about everything. Or almost everything.

You looked down rubbing your hands on your pants before standing up and walking over to the nightstand. Jay followed your movements with his eyes, watching you pour water into a glass before drinking it in one gulp.

“Do you want some?” you asked him, but without looking at him and keeping your eyes on the glass

“Yes, thank you,” he replied confused “Y/N… Are you okay?”.

“Sure,” you babbled as you grabbed another glass and poured some water into it. You handed it to him, never meeting his eyes. You couldn't look at him, not at the time. If you had done it you would’ve collapsed and you couldn't in front of him, you didn't want to.

He drank the water and the dryness in his throat finally went away, feeling suddenly better. He continued to look at you, noting how your head was turned towards the window.

“Y/N… Can you look at me please? What’s going on?” he pressed confused on your sudden change of mood.

You turned to him and gave him a quick glance, noticing the empty plastic cup in his hands. “Do you want some more?” You asked feebly as you reached up to him to take your glass but before you could pull away he grabbed your wrists, his grip both firm and delicate at the same time. You jumped, not expecting it, dropping the plastic glass on the floor.

“Look at me,” he urged but you refused, your eyes watering and the lump in your throat increasingly suffocating. A solitary tear slid down your cheek as he placed his thumb and forefinger under your chin, lifting your head and forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N talk to me please,” he whispered and his tone was so soft it was enough to send you over the edge. You lost control and started crying. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your body as best as he could.

“No… Just let me go...” you muttered through your tears, trying to escape his grip. You couldn't do this, it was too much for you, too much to bear. You just wanted to run away in that moment, to be away from him.

“Shh, it's okay darling, it's okay. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered in your ear as his hand stroked your back in an attempt to cheer you up. But he couldn't do it.

This was all so paradoxical. He was the only person on earth able to understand you, to make you feel better with a single hug and with the mere presence of him and it was paradoxical because, at the same time, he was also the cause of your suffering.

“N-no Jay…” you stammered, pulling away from his embrace “Please let me go. Don't do this to me. Stop doing this to me...”

You stood up and walked away from him, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands. “I can't take it anymore Jay, I can't do this again.”

“Doing what? Y/N please come here. Talk to me,” he begged you.

Is he serious?

You shook your head and wordlessly walked to the door to leave, but when you heard movement behind you you whirled around to see Jay taking off the covers from his body and climbing out of bed.

“What are you doing? No! Get back to bed,” you ordered, your cheeks still wet with tears, running towards him when his feet hit the ground and tried to get up. He grabbed your wrists again, pulling you towards him and placing you between his legs. “Jay…”

“Tell me what's going on and I'll let you go,” his voice was firm and decisive and his tone hinted he’d live up to his words even if it meant trudging all the way out of the hospital.

“Jay for fuck’s sake why can’t you just understand? You really don't see it? You really can’t see I can’t take all of this anymore? You really can't see how much I fucking love you and how much I care about you! I can't do it anymore Jay, I really tried with Erin… I tried to help you, to be supportive… I tried but I can't take it a second time… I can’t…” You blurted out in the heat of the moment but slapped your mouth with your hands as soon as you realized what you had just said. You wished a hole would open in the ground and the earth would swallow you alive.

Jay was looking at you as if he had just seen a ghost and the silence that had invaded the room was almost deafening. You didn't expect an answer, you knew he wouldn't say anything, but God it was so still painful.

“Y/N… I…” he stammered, speechless.

“Jay… Don't worry, seriously,” you interjected trying to keep your composure even if you were feeling a storm inside “I know you don't feel the same and it's fine, I'm sorry for telling you like this…” you croaked, your voice broken by tears “But now it's better if I go... You need to rest.”

The grip around your wrists loosened and you took the opportunity to free yourself away. You took a few steps back, your heart heavy as Jay continued to stare at you petrified.

You were about to leave when, suddenly and against all your expectations, you felt a hand on your arm that made you turn around and a pair of lips pressed against yours.

Your eyes widened in shock as your mind tried to process what was happening. Time seemed to stop and even though his lips were touching yours so lightly it felt like they were just caressing each other, it was as if a storm had hit you full blown.

That kiss was light, sweet, as if he was testing your reaction but when you closed your eyes and returned it, that lightness was immediately replaced by the determination with which his mouth moved against yours.

His hands were on your face as you both let go and for an instant you forgot about everything around you, that you were in a hospital room, that a minute ago you had confessed his love for him. You wanted that kiss for so long. For so long you watched him from a distance and imagined what it would be like to have his lips on yours and now that you were really feeling it, god, it felt like heaven.

No image created in your mind could compare to the flock of butterflies flying in your stomach, to the feeling that kiss made you experience.

It was like thunder hit you, like an explosion of rainbows, like being electrocuted, like being burned alive.

You wanted so badly to find the right words to describe what you felt but you just couldn't.

Jay slid his fingers from your cheeks through your hair, deepening the kiss more and more, forgetting the wound on his lip and all the pains that coursed through his body. Your hands clenched the hospital gown he wore into a fist, being careful not to touch him even though your mind was completely racing.

He was kissing you fervently now, passionately, as if his life depended on it, as if he wanted to suck your soul out of your body. And that was exactly how you felt. If you didn't know him better, you would’ve said he was kissing you as if he too had wanted it for a long time, as if he was trying to vent all the frustration that had accumulated over time.

When you pulled away you were both out of breath like after a marathon. His hands stroked your hair before brushing your cheeks as his thumbs traced imaginary circles on your skin. His nose kept brushing yours and you didn't know how you managed to stand, your legs feeling like jelly.

“You didn't ask me who she is,” he whispered and if he wasn't already hurt you probably would’ve punched him. How could he say such a thing? How could he kiss you and then say that?

“Jay what the fuck...” you tried to walk away but he interrupted you.

“Ask me Y/N. Ask me who’s the person I always have in my mind. Who is the woman I left Erin for.” His eyes kept alternating between yours and your lips trembling and flushed and a little swollen from that impetuous kiss.

“Fuck you! No, I don't want to know! How can you say this!”.

“Shh,” he smiled slightly as his thumb traced the outline of your lips. How could he smile in such a situation and be so heartless? “Please Y/N. Trust me. Ask me.”

“You are such an asshole Jay, I can't believe this…”

“It's you,” he cut you off again and you froze, not believing you heard right.

“W-what?”.

“It’s you. You’re the person who’s constantly on my mind, you are the one who invades my thoughts from the moment I wake up in the morning until I close my eyes at night. I couldn't continue with her, I tried, I tried to ignore it, but you were always there in front of me, always in my head even when you weren't there,” he confessed “When I realized you were the one I want, that it was you who made my heart beat more than anyone else ever did… Fuck, I can’t even talk with you looking at me like this,” he stopped, pressing his fingers on your skin, as if to vent the built up tension.

“I realized it was you when the thought of losing you terrified more than I could even admit, when seeing her didn’t make me turn my stomach or lose my breath like it happen with you,” he paused, taking a small breath, winching at the pain “I didn't know what to do, how to behave with you, I didn't know if you felt the same and I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship and losing you, I preferred a thousand times to have you only as a friend than not to have you at all in life. But, shit, I love you too so much you stupid…” he sighed, his confession heavy in the air and at that point the tears flowed like rivers down your cheeks which he quickly wiped away with his thumbs “It was always you, always and only you and I’m so sorry i realized it so late, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling and made you suffer like that, I will never forgive myself for that. I don't want to see you cry anymore, I don't want to see a single tear come out of these beautiful eyes again, okay? I'm yours Y/N, if you want me I'll be forever and irrevocably yours.”

You didn't know what to say.

You didn't know what to do.

You have never been in such a state of total shock like in that moment.

A thousand questions crossed your mind but you couldn't find an answer to any of them.

“Jay,” you exhaled in frustration, still crying “I don't want to suffer, I don't want to go to sleep crying anymore, I'm so tired of this. I can't… I love you, god, how much I love you. You… You make me lose my mind, my heart goes crazy for you but I also know I don't want to suffer and even if I'm in love I don't want to keep my eyes closed and be naive,” you spoke, your eyes locked in his “You just got out of a relationship and I don't want to think I'm a rebound…”

“But you're not baby, I swear you will never be. You are all I want…” he urged “I left her because I want you Y/N.”

“Jay this doubt won’t make me live peacefully. The moment I’ll be in a relationship with you, I want us to start it without interruption, without risks, without fears, without ghosts of the past,” you retorted “You can’t imagine how many times I wished for this to happen, more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t want it to be like this, not when you got out of a relationship two days ago.”

“Then I'll prove it to you, I promise Y/N. I want you, only you, forever. I understand you're scared and I promise I'll do anything to make this fear go away, I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. I don't want to give up on you, not now that I know you feel the same. God I'd let you get into my head just to show you how much every single one of my thoughts are directed only and solely towards you.” He pulled your hands away from your cheeks just so he could intertwine his fingers with yours, bringing your hands up to your lips and kissing both of them, you eyes piercing your soul with their intensity.

“You’ll be mine, that's a promise.”

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[agaypanic]

Hi! Congratulations on graduating! I have a request for a Francis x reader (Malcom in the middle). I just started watching the show and I'm like in love with him. Anyways could you write about how while Francis is away his family gets new neighbors, and the reader is the daughter of the neighbors. She's really smart and shy. Malcom develops a huge crush on the reader and tells Francis all about it once he returns from military school. Francis starts teasing Malcom thinking the reader is malcoms age, however Lois invites the neighbors over for dinner to properly introduce each other. When they come over Francis is completely ready to tease his younger brother and his little crush however when the reader walks in and she's not who expected he's starstruck!And he ends up completely speechless the whole dinner having to watch Malcom awfully flirt with who he thinks is the love of his life.i can't decide how I want it to end sooo... But maybe he ends up pulling the reader aside flirting with her watching her get all flustered and then the reader admitted he's cute while being all reed in the face! I just want a cute fluffy happy ending!!😭😭

The Boy Next Door's Brother (Francis Wilkerson X Reader)

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Part 2

Summary: All Francis hears from Malcolm these days is how cute the new neighbor girl is. Imagine his surprise when he comes home for the weekend to find that the neighbor girl is his age and Malcolm is still trying to impress her.

A/N: M/n means mom’s name and D/n means dad’s name

***

Francis loved his brother. He really did. They had a deep bond created through the traumatic experience of having an insane mother. Nothing could ever break that.

But he was getting sick and tired of Malcolm’s phone calls. Every time without fail, he found a way to bring up their new neighbor. Despite how much Malcolm talked about her, Francis didn’t really know much. Just that her name was Y/n, she had moved there about a month ago, and she was really nice.

Francis would be coming home from military school for the weekend, and he was slightly dreading it. Not just because he’d have to deal with his overbearing mother. If he was annoyed with Malcolm and his infatuation with the neighbor girl while thousands of miles away, imagine how he’d be while living in the same house.

After a long flight, Hal picked Francis up from the airport, and soon enough, they were home. Francis now felt relieved because he could lounge around for the weekend and not worry about homework or ways that Commandant Spangler would be out to get him. His brothers were absolutely ecstatic to see him, pushing each other to get to him first. Although he wanted to rest, Francis was happy to see his little brothers as well.

“Hey, Francis!” His mom yelled from the kitchen, scrubbing dishes. “How was your flight?”

“It was fine.” He responded, tossing his travel bag on the couch. “What’s for dinner?”

“Spaghetti and meatballs. Oh! I forgot to tell you, but we’re having the new neighbors over for dinner tonight. They finally got settled into the house, and we need them on our side before anyone else in the neighborhood tries to poison them against us.”

“Ah yes, normal neighbor activities.”

Francis was suddenly excited. Even though Malcolm going on and on about Y/n annoyed him, he was curious to see the girl that Malcolm wouldn’t shut up about. 

“So, Malcolm, heard your girlfriend’s coming over,” Francis smirked as he teased his brother. Malcolm started to blush, the redness reaching his ears.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He muttered.

“Are you sure?” Francis asked. “The way you talk about her, I thought you guys were getting married.”

“Shut up!” Malcolm whined, but there was a shy smile on his face.

***

A few hours later, it was dinnertime. While Lois served up dinner, Francis heard a knock on the door. Malcolm raced to the door but was beaten to it by his brother.

“Francis, come on!”

“No, I wanna see the girl you keep talking about.” He pushed his little brother away and opened the door. A couple stood on the doorstep with shy but pleasant smiles.

“Hi there!” The man spoke. “I’m D/n, this is my wife M/n, and our daughter Y/n should be coming soon. She’s finishing up her homework.”

“Nice to meet you guys. I’m Francis, the oldest. Come on in.” He allowed the couple inside, and they went to the kitchen to greet the family. He was about to close the door behind him when he heard a shout.

“Wait!” He stuck his head out the door and saw a girl running across her yard to get to the door. “Don’t close the door, please!”

Francis opened it wider for the girl. When she was closer to his view, he couldn’t help but be amazed by the sight in front of him. All this time, Francis thought that Y/n was Malcolm’s age. But as it turns out, she seemed more around his age. They’d probably be in the same grade if they were in school together. Reaching the front step, he was even more taken aback by how pretty she was.

“Hi.” She said, slightly out of breath. “I’m Y/n.”

“I’m Francis.” He had to push his way through the response. “I’m the oldest brother.”

“Really?” Y/n asked as he let her into the house. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“I, uh, I go to military school in Alabama.”

“Wow, you must’ve come a long way then!”

“Hey, Y/n.” Francis suddenly became annoyed again. Malcolm was leaning against the wall with a sly smile, staring up at the girl. She grinned.

“Hey, Malcolm! How have you been?” They started their own conversation, leaving Francis alone with his thoughts as they walked to the table. Shaking his head to refocus, Francis followed after them.

Francis felt both blessed and cursed. He was seated next to Y/n, but Malcolm was on the other side of her. He constantly tried to flirt with her, and Francis didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe. Luckily, Y/n started talking to Francis halfway through the dinner, seemingly very interested in his life. Much to Malcolm’s annoyance, their conversation lasted way past dinner, branching off into different topics of interest.

“He might kill me for telling you this.” Francis started, picking at a loose wood chip on the picnic table in his parent’s backyard. “But Malcolm talks to me about you all the time.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet.” Y/n smiled.

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to be my age. I totally thought you were a middle schooler, the way he kept talking about you.” She started laughing, and it felt so contagious that Francis couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“Malcolm’s such a sweetheart. He’s like a little brother if I’m being honest.” If only Malcolm knew that. 

“You know, I also didn’t expect you to be so pretty.” Francis felt bold for flirting with a girl he had just met and that his brother had a crush on. But he just couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the crazy hormones his dad told him about when giving him the talk, but Francis felt like he was having a real connection with this girl.

Y/n tried to cover up her flushed cheeks and giddy smile, but it was useless.

“I can’t believe Malcolm never told me he had an older brother.” Building up courage, she started tracing shapes on the table and fiddling with her hair. “Although, even if he did, I wouldn’t have guessed that you would be this cute.” 

The two teens grinned shyly at each other. The rest of the night was filled with more conversations and flirtations. They talked so long that by the time Y/n said she should probably go home, her parents were already gone, and the Wilkerson family had all dispersed to do their own things.

“You didn’t have to walk me back. I mean, after all, I’m right next door.” Y/n said as she reached her front door, turning to Francis. He shrugged.

“Yeah, I know. But I like talking to you.” She grinned, and he took a deep breath, preparing to make his move. “So, look, I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon. And I’d rather hear about you and your day from you instead of my brother, so… I was wondering if I could have your number?” He didn’t know why he was so nervous. But all nerves were put at ease when Y/n’s smile widened.

“Of course! Let me grab a marker.” Y/n opened the front door and sifted through the junk drawer in the stand next to it. She pulled out a sharpie and grabbed Francis’ wrist. They both blushed at the contact. “Call me anytime.” She capped the marker, looking at him.

“Definitely.” Deciding to make another move, Francis leaned forward and kissed her cheek, backing away immediately after in slight fear of an opposing reaction. “Good night, Y/n.”

“Good night, Francis.” She quickly kissed his cheek in return before making her way inside, closing the door behind her. Francis went home with some lip gloss residue on his cheek and a smile plastered on his lips. He quietly opened and closed the door, reminiscent of how he would when he still lived at home and would sneak in and out after curfew.

Francis got ready for bed and walked to his bed, which was the couch that sat in front of the TV. He was surprised to see Malcolm standing there waiting for him, arms crossed with a scowl.

“I can’t believe you would mess with my game like that, Francis!” He scolded. Francis laughed, messing with his brother’s hair and pushing him away from his makeshift bed.

“You don’t have any game for me to mess with, little brother.” He laid down on the couch, stretching his limbs. “Now go away.”

[munsonsreputation]

"fight or flight" by conan gray but make it steve x r

so like (you don't have to incorporate this but this is what my silly little thoughts came up with) r crushing on steve despite their long, strong friendship. r having to see steve with a new girl every week. r wishing it was her. and finally, r can't take it anymore and then that's where the song comes in "well, fight or flight, i'd rather die than have to cry in front of you. fight or flight, i'd rather lie than tell you i'm in love with you." and yeah.. aslkfjlsdk sorry if this didn't make sense 😭😭

cleo!!! this is one of my favorite songs by conan and i hope i was able to do your request justice 🧸💐 i kinda left the ending up to you to decide and i really hope you like this!!!

ive been loving the angst requests ive been getting and this is def one of my favorite ones i've written so far!!! 💌💫

It was so wrong. So very, very wrong. But at this point, you should’ve seen this coming. 

You’ve known Steve and been his friend long before high school. The two of you practically grew up together, hung out all the time, and there was only a brief pause in your friendship when freshman year came along…Steve transforming into King Steve…the version of Steve you didn’t quite know anymore. 

While the break in your friendship during that time was short, it wasn’t until he showed up at your doorstep apologizing for his behavior that you two reconciled. And then the two of you were back to being the best of friends, only this time, the desire for Steve starting to develop as the years went by. 

By now the two of you had graduated high school, each of you moving out of your parents’ home and renting out an apartment just a few minutes away from your neighborhood.

It was nice having Steve as a roommate. 

Having someone you could talk to at two in the morning when you couldn’t sleep. 

Waking up to breakfast being made in the kitchen with coffee just the way you liked it. 

Drunk karaoke nights where the two of you would belt out duets and receive angry letters in the mail from sleepless neighbors. 

And of course, a person you could always give you a hug at any given moment during the day. 

But sometimes it sucked to be roommates with Steve. 

Three months ago, he stumbled into your shared apartment with Tina, glue to his side. Offering you a shy smile as she and him giggled their way into his bedroom and spent the night together. 

You and Steve usually had movie nights on the weekends, and there was one instance where he phoned you from work, apologizing, saying he couldn’t make it because he had scored a date with a customer. 

The kitchen, just a few footsteps from the living room where the landline was, you could hear Steve talking to the next girl he was seeing, shooting her compliments as you tried not to seem affected by it, beating the eggs a little rougher as you tuned his voice out. 

And the shittiest part?

Having him come to you for advice on whichever girl he was seeing. Putting on a fake smile and nodding your head like you gave a shit about any of them when the only wish you had was that it was you that Steve was seeing. 

Fight or flight? 

Sometimes you could expect if he was coming to you for your advice regarding his dates. This was a lifesaver because you could fight it off, telling him to just talk to them if he was so worried about not hearing back. But most times your flight would activate, pretending to be asleep when he knocked on your bedroom door telling you it was a girl emergency. Or making up excuses that you had to run errands before he had time to even ask you at all. 

“Hello? Did she really zone out?” Your frozen eyes fluttered lazily, coming back to your senses while Nancy and Robin stood in front of you, flapping their hands in your face and looking at each other. 

“S-sorry!” You withdrew, shaking your head as you got yourself together, fingers stiffening around the red solo cup you were holding filled with lemonade. 

Somehow you had been convinced to come to this party, by none other than Steve, of course. Thankfully, Robin, Nance, and Eddie were around too, sticking by your introverted side while Steve socialized with familiar faces. 

Robin smiled earnestly, shaking her head at your apology. “S’ok, you were just…staring a bit too hard at Harrington.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Robs,” Eddie chimed in, nudging her shoulder than sending a smirk your way, “she was practically eye-fucking him.” 

Nancy choked on her drink, suppressing her laugh, as you rolled your eyes, doing an awful job at concealing the blush that was developing on your cheeks prompting you to turn the other way. 

“Don’t be dick!” Robin scolded, shoving at Eddie’s head as he just continued to laugh to himself. 

You felt arms around you, flickering your eyes to Robin who was now holding you securely with her head on your shoulder, “She just has a crush alright…nothing wrong with that.” 

“Oh, I didn’t say there was anything wrong with her little crush…I’m just sick of these two dancing around their feelings.” Eddie noted, followed by the tsk of your tongue. 

“There are no feelings on his side…trust me.” You exhaled wistfully, resting your head on top of Robin’s as she and Nancy grunted skeptically. 

On the other side of your shoulder, you felt Nance slot herself there, glancing up at you. “Steve’s an asshole and he’s bad at feelings…but I know he likes you.” 

“We’ve been friends for years and he’s never made a move on me.” You speculated, and Eddie rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his drink before speaking. 

“Like Wheeler said, he’s bad with feelings…shit, I’m bad at feelings too, but that won’t stop me from getting some.” 

The three of you girls furrowed your brows at the somewhat tipsy metal head, “What the fuck are you talking about?” Robin shook her head as Eddie howled. 

“I hate to shit on my species here, but we find ways at avoiding. Steve likes you, alright? But he just doesn’t know how to tell you…better yet, he’s scared! So what does he do in return?” 

Nancy leans forward, shrugging her shoulders towards him. “Sleep around?” 

“Exactly!” Eddie beams and snaps his fingers, like a proud professor or something. 

You go for another drink, teeth biting down on the plastic as you grumbled, “Seems like a pretty fucked up thing if you ask me.” 

Robin nods, peering up at you. “Have you ever thought about going for girls? They aren’t as complicated, trust me.” She half jokes, as you laugh lightly, waving her off. 

“Maybe you should make the first move?” Eddie proposed as you puffed, letting out an absurd laugh, shaking your head with vigor. 

“Nope!” You pointed your finger at him, wagging it back and forth as he pouted innocently, “Never going to fucking happen.” 

Nancy squeezed your elbow, gaining your attention. “You’ll never know what could have been unless you say something.” 

Your eyes widened, shaking your head even more roughly, “No! Not you too! C’mon, back me up Robs!” 

You turned back to Robin who smiled, looking over towards Steve who was talking to some guys at the punch table. “They have a point…and he’s right there!” 

Eddie leaned closer to your ear, whispering, “And no girl in sight.” 

There was a point Eddie was making. Steve hadn’t been seeing any girls that you knew of for the past couple of weeks. In fact, he was more adamant about staying in at the apartment with you. Spending nights together falling asleep on the couch watching movies and waking up in the morning a tangled mess as the two of you laughed and made breakfast together. 

Maybe he did like you?

“Oh shit! You’re debating it, aren’t you!” Robin egged on, bumping your shoulder with hysteria, seeing the look in your eyes change the second you found Steve in the crowded home. 

Nancy yelped, jumping up and down and hitting Eddie’s chest cheerfully, “She’s totally gonna do it!” 

“Well, what are you waiting for, princess?” Eddie pushed you lightly, giving you some bravery. “Go and tell the boy you love him.” 

You snapped back, eyes widening, “I do not love Steve!” 

The three rolled their eyes, sick of your horrible way of lying or being so bad at knowing your own feelings that you couldn’t tell the difference between an innocent crush and the obvious love that you held for Steve. 

“You’ve been friends for years…you love him. How many times do you two say “I love you” to each other on a daily basis?”

Ok true, you two did say you love each other, every night before heading off to bed and every morning before you’d part for work. But it was in a friend way…right? 

Ok maybe you said it more than those two instances.

Like when Steve would drop you off lunch even when you didn’t ask. Or that one time that Steve almost forgot to turn off the stove and when he called you panicking, but you had already turned it off the second you got home and saw the red light illuminating the glass. 

You loved Steve…more than a best friend should. 

“Ladies, I think it’s finally hitting her.” Eddie declared as the two girls grinned and nodded. 

No more fighting it and definitely no more running away. 

You had to tell Steve how you felt. 

Feeling the wave of certainty flow through your veins, you thrusted your now empty cup into Eddie’s chest and he grabbed it. The three of your friends watching as you took a deep breath and dragged your feet from the other side of the room to where Steve was. 

His eyes instantly shifted to your figure the second he saw you appear his peripheral, shooting you that classic smile you’d never get tired of seeing time and time again. 

“Hey, you ok?” He sought, peering behind you to see your friends watching on with concentration.

“Yeah, I’m great!” You responded too enthusiastically, making him grin again, this time reaching for a cup to serve you some punch. 

You watched his movements, moving ever so smoothly despite the cramped space, “I—I actually have to tell you something.” You straightened up, rolling your shoulders back and taking a deep breath. 

He nodded, keeping his eyes set on you as he spooned in a ladle full of juice into the plastic cup, offering it to you, but you shook your head, waving your hands for him to keep it. 

“You’re shaking,” Steve furrowed his brows, noticing your shuddering hands, placing down the cup and steadying them in his hold while he squeezed. 

The action making your knees weak, threatening for you to melt into a pile of mush and seep into the floorboards beneath you. 

“Did someone do something to you?” He ordered worriedly, looking around the party to study every person as if they caused this state of you. 

“Nonono!” You closed your eyes, shaking your head, psychologically preparing yourself. 

You could hear Steve let out a sigh of relief, gripping your hands once more before you opened your eyes, facing his soft gaze. 

“I’m in love with you.” 

The words flew out of your mouth too fast for your like and definitely too easily. Like there was no hesitancy behind your statement. His eyes enlarged, hands freezing against yours while the two of you stared at each other, feeling like hours were passing by when it was just milliseconds. 

“I... I, um, wow, ok, I—“ 

Steve was stumbling, undoubtedly taken aback by this confession while trying to look deep down inside himself for the right words to finally say to you, but they never came up. 

“Steve, what’s going on?” 

A voice popped up from behind him. The girl standing with a look of hurt on her face, seeing the hands tangled together. She was just a girl he met a few nights ago, the one who invited him to this party. 

Oh, my god. You should’ve known. 

You dropped his hands, eyes darting between the stranger and Steve, who looked just as remorseful and apologetic, stumbling on his words once again. 

Fight or Flight. Fight or Flight. Fight or Flight. 

The lump in your throat grew bigger and tighter, not knowing if you should apologize or say that it was a mistake. And you could feel the tears creeping into your eyes, just moments away from slipping out, but you’d rather die than cry in front of him right now. 

Leave. Definitely leave. 

Spinning around, you only caught the concerned looks of your friends before you bumped into bodies trying to find the front door so that you could flee the scene as quickly as possible. 

Thankfully, you and Steve had gotten to the party separately. Him coming from work and you taking your car. Your fingers dug into your pocket, jamming the key into the car door once you found it, and starting up the vehicle. 

The wind rustled as you sped, loud and deep chested sobs leaving your mouth as the roads and stoplights were a blurry mess behind your tears. Cursing at yourself for being so stupid for believing that Steve could ever quit his antics and have feelings for you. 

There was no way you and Steve could live under the same roof again. Not after this godforsaken night. So you stormed through the apartment, collecting all your belongs and stuffing it into backpacks and stray boxes you had lying around. Needing to leave this place you once called home so that you would never have to see Steve ever again and talk about what had happened. 

But the phone rung noisily, garnering your attention as you messily crammed clothes into already full bag of garments, wanting to avoid having to do a second trip here to get all your things because that would mean running into Steve, again.

You cried, pushing off the floor and neglecting the clutter as you ran out of your room and into the living room where the landline rested on the side table. Perhaps it was Robin or Nancy calling to check up on you, knowing they were too late when they reached the outside of the party and your car was long gone.

“Hello,” You sniffled, picking up the phone and trying not to sound so crushed. 

Cries came from the other side of the line, confusing you, “Are you his fucking roommate!?” It was a female voice that snapped at you, accompanied by more cries and expletives. 

“W-what?” You croaked, forehead creasing as you repeated the question in your head, trying to go through the list of people who it could be.

Maybe the neighbor downstairs who could hear you scrambling from above them. 

“Are you Steve’s roommate?” The voice ordered as you gulped, detesting to hear his name. 

You sighed sadly, closing your eyes as you could feel the hot tears never stopping since you came home, “Y-yeah…soon the be ex-roommate.” 

There was a laugh, almost mockingly, until she spoke. “I bet you’re happy with yourself! He loves you and you stole him from me! I asked him out first and you just fucking stole him from me.” 

You choked, fingers tightening around the phone, eyes hurling open once you realized who it was and what she was saying. 

Then there were noises outside the door. Frustrated curses and mumbles, along with the sounds of keys jumbling against each other. 

Slamming the phone back down onto the receiver, you stood up, darting towards the door to open it, but it had already been unlocked from the outside and there Steve was, nearly knocking into you if he hadn’t halted on time. 

His chest was rising and falling rapidly, hands shaking just like yours earlier that night as you two stared at each other. 

And finally he spoke. 

“I’m in love with you, too.” 

This time, you didn’t want to fight it or flee the scene. 

It was up to you and Steve now. 

[lolahaurisfw]

˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : Stardew Valley - Polyam Fam:;

Part 1/3: Demetrius x MILF! Reader, Robin & Reader.

Contains: F/M, Poly Relationships, Family Fluff, HC's, Pregnancy, Clingy! Shy! Teen Girl From Previous Relationship, Dad Isn't In The Picture, Curious! Toddler Boys w/ Your Current Mans.

A/N: TYSM for this request! It turned out way longer than i thought it would. So I'll be posting all three separately so you don't have to wait for them to all be done before i publish. 😭

~

・❥・Family Life!

What a blended family you have! 🙀 So many kids from so many different pairings, it was hard for your oldest child to get used to at first. She's usually very clingy, definitely a "mama's girl", so she was uneasy at the idea of you having so many other people to take your attention away from her.

Plus, now she had to meet and join a whole new family. She was worried they wouldn't like each other.

But eventually it all worked out when they finally started talking!

Maru was the easiest to meet, she's very friendly, not much older than her, and loves meeting new people.

Robin was also so kind, she's truly so motherly, never wanting anyone to feel left out.

Demetrius took some getting used to, he's never exactly sure how to parent a child who isn't technically his, he fears overstepping or coming off like he's trying to force himself into their life. Which in turn makes him seem like he doesn't care, but he does! He's just not sure how to deal with these types of dynamics yet.

But they became close in time, he was just the father figure your daughter needed! He was always conscious about his mistakes with raising Sebastian, and he made sure to try and not repeat it with her.

Sebastian was the toughest nut to crack. He'd never been a people-person, and he couldn't help but feel a little more isolated when more people joined the family, putting even less attention onto him.

But when he realized your daughter was an introvert like him, and also didn't have her father around, he felt guilty for excluding her, obviously knowing how bad that feels. So, he eventually opened up and started to hang out with her and Maru every once in a while.

Sometimes your daughter would actually join Maru & Demetrius in the lab, learn woodworking from Robin, or play boardgames with Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail!

You and Robin also developed a close relationship! It was awkward for you at first, since y'know, you're dating her husband and now sharing a bed with them. But she never let you feel uncomfortable around her!

Any worries that jealousy or resentment could be brewing between you two were soon gone when you realized she truly loved your company. Maybe she even had a crush on you herself. 🤭

You, Robin, Maru and your daughter actually started having "girl's nights" every Sunday 28th. Which usually entailed going to dinner at the saloon, then the movies, and then having dessert & playing a board game before bed.

And in turn, that forced Seb and Demetrius to have a father-son day! Usually they'd go to Ginger Island and meet up with Sam and Kent, then hit up the saloon for dinner before going home to meet you guys for the board game.

Overall the moving-in stage of the relationship was awkward at first, but now everyone is closer than ever.

...

Especially since you soon got pregnant with twins!!!

Seb and your daughter were first scared at the thought of more siblings, knowing it would change the dynamic even more.

(But as soon as your boys were born, they loved them right away hehe.)

Everyone was soo ecstatic when you got pregnant.

It'd been a long time since anyone in the valley had had any babies, so nobody could wait to meet them!

Robin and Demetrius were so sweet and helpful.

Demetrius made sure you had a well balanced diet and kept up with some light exercise.

He would also regularly lift things for you, not wanting you to hurt your back.

Just lots of acts of service!

Like: cooking more often, carrying groceries, making sure you're taking your vitamins or medications, leg & foot massages, helping you shower or dress as the pregnancy progressed, etc... etc...

He always made sure to go to EVERY doctor appointment you made, even if it wasn't for anything baby related lol.

He listened to all of Harvey's recommendations, and made sure you listened too haha. He wouldn't let you farm, mine, drink energy tonics, or eat fish or deli meat.

And if you had any pets before you moved in, he'll be in charge of cleaning up after them now.

He's a bit overbearing and smart, but you knew what you were signing up for. 🤭

Robin is of course by your side too! Esp later in you're pregnancy, always checking in with you and seeing how your feeling.

Caroline and Jodi couldn't wait to be aunts again as well!

Overall, your pregnancy was great! You had so much love and support from your family and everyone in the valley!

...

Once your twin boys were born, things definitely changed, but not in a bad way!

On one hand you were very tired, even with the help of others, the boys were never easy to handle. (That was especially true as they became able to walk.)

But on the other, you loved being a mom again, and you enjoyed being able to spend some extra time with Demetrius.

He never neglected Robin or the other kids though, instead, he took some time off of work and focused on being more family-oriented.

He's such a good dad too. He'd forgotten how much fun it is to play with and talk to babies.

I think he'd be a good (temporary) house-husband too! Since Robin had to look after your farm for you, and the older kids all had jobs, it was up to him to keep up with most of the house.

But as long as you were clear and specific about what needed to be done, he was happy to help!

Everyone was also a bit more clingy with you post-partum, they just couldn't help but wanna be around the new cute babies!!

But you didn't mind, it was nice to have a lot of people available to hold the babies or help you with tasks when you were tired.

It was also sooo adorable seeing your daughter get to know her new brothers!

And things only became more fun as the boys became toddlers, they for sure inherited their dads curious, knowledge-hungry nature. 🤭 Always on the move and trying to escape your arms to go explore.

They love spending time outside with you and Demetrius!

Even though they're only just now speaking sentences, Demetrius LOVES teaching them about the local flora and fauna as if they understand what he's saying. 😭

It's actually so sweet though, you'll be walking your mischievous little ones on a backpack leash through the trail behind your farm, and Demetrius will see some forage or an artifact spot or smth, and he'll immediately stop and pick it up, holding it up to the boys' faces and start telling them all about it.

Meanwhile they're just trying to grab it so they can either throw it or try to it eat. 😭

But you can't help but watch with hearts in your eyes, seeing 3 of the most important boys in your life have so much fun together. <3

[thegoldenphantom]

Ghostbusters Frozen Empires and my little review on it :) Saw it last night and decided to share my thoughts.

Okay so I would like to start out with the non-spoiler part then get into the more in depth details. Firstly I would like to say I am a huge Ghostbusters fan and I have met McKenna Grace so I might have some bias, but I really enjoyed this movie! My parents grew up with the original Ghostbusters and are really excited that I’m into the new generation. However, I do think that they could have focused on the lore of the new characters. It seemed very jumpy with how much they were giving us and what we had to follow along with.

With that said there was a bunch of things that I loved, McKenna Grace, Paul Rudd, Dan Aykroyd, and Emily Alyn Lind carried this movie for me. I loved all the jokes and McKenna playing Phoebe in this movie is KENDJDHSKWJSJDI. She is very talented and really brings out her skills with the way Phoebe’s character developed.

Now for the Spoilers

I’ve always related to Phoebe and being her age really made me understand her thoughts and feelings throughout very well. And my god she’s gay too. In afterlife her character was really trying to find herself and ghostbusters was her calling and having that stripped from her in this movie to make a parallel of lostness with Melody is incredible. Having her so blindly trust anyone to find a feeling of purpose…even if it means going to the extreme.

To add on top of that this poor girl is going through her first gay crush

Melody willing to do anything to move on into the afterlife, even betraying Phoebe…

Having Phoebe ready to give up anything to be a ghost and on the same dimensional plane as Melody.

It had me all looking for words on how to describe the feeling I had in theaters. Get Phoebe some damn therapy she was willing to die for a few minutes for a girl she just met— But with that I would like to see the aftermath of what happens to Phoebe after seeing Melody fade away into the fabric of the universe. I want to know how she just goes back to Ghost busting after that.

Overall my end statement is that I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I’m gladly going to see it again and definitely write and read some fan fiction 😭

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Hello there 🙏🫶 I just want to share this rn with you..... 💌 Recently i have developed a crush on a girl. She is so wonderful and we talk every day & i feel so giddy LOL. I don't even know her face😭 I am so unsure over alot of things & it is both mortifying & exhilarating to experience .. & thats the fun if it..omg.. recently i feel like so many friends are having crushes i wonde r your thoughts on this..

also i forgot how to flirt entirely so i dnt even know if its noticeable to her at all that im interested that way since i havent been bold enough LOL any advice on signaling this to her is appreciated i feel like13 again likeso clumsy LOL its so exciting too omg wishing you a beautiful day when u reaD this i hope it;s fine to send this to u i know u like your inbox used as a confessional but i'm still shy HAHA

🙏🌞🫶🫧🌈

AWWW💞💞💞 happy for u Anon :]....Ues it seems lately many people have been finding new love, i noticed it too the past few weeks :o I've only had that feeling a handful of times over my life, its a special one cus it can be quite fleeting depending on how fast things move, treasure it🌟 altho W/ me and slimbo it lasted ages so by the end of it when we finally confessed love i was FRIED from haveing butterflies in my stomach for so long lol i was losing my marbles over it. anywyas--

Honeslty im BAD at flirting like. i have noooo idea how to make a move , slimbo n i both tried to keep it .pokerface. for years because we're like, i dont even know, we're stupid we were almost enemies for a while. there was a timespan where we were SOOOO competitive and whenever we tried to play games we'd fight so much and i'd end up crying LMAO im laugjing so hard typing this cus we're not even like that now. Like as soon as we got together we became the ultimate harmonious team of considerate affectionate lovers but the courting phase was such a trainwreck lmao. i love it like its beautiful it all worked out, but yeah i suck at flirting i am swagless in that position🧎‍♀️

Altho when it's irl i definitely at least try to Thot it Up, concoct minxy outfits , move in a charming way, one of my most successful tactics has been attempting to orchestrate accidental voyeuristic scenarios for them to catch in their peripherals lol. but you have to be reeeeally subtle to pull that one off ;] i guess mostly i just try to talk to them a lot !! and be thouggtful. send telepathic uncondtional love. SHOW THEM SONGS!!!!!!! if its an internet thing, maybe u can watch movies or youtube videos together. be inquisitive and ask her lots of questions ^_^ one thing that always drew me to slimbo is how curious they are and their #intellect.. But everyones different so just feel it out day by day thru communication💓💓💓

hhope that helpes in some way.. its ok to feel giddy and clumsy im sure ur crush just wants to get to know the most authentic -you- so dont stress too much about specifics ^u^ Enjoy your weekend love ~ ~ ~ P.M.d.9

[f0point5]

Kelly remind me sooo much of an ex boss 😭 she's also a nepobaby but pretty useless so she got a job as a team manager with an assistant which was the one doing all her work, poor dude. She got herself pregnant by a junior that worked there and he was like 6 years younger than her and when they broke up the baby was like 4 months, she dropped the job and move to her mother's country (her dad was the one who got her the job) and like a year later the owner's kid started working on the company and she reappear and started flirting with him in front of her ex who pretty much didn't see his kid because he don't have money to travel to another country, the owner's kid is even younger (he's like 22 i think?) and the poor kid stayed with her grandmother, dad try to sue her and got himself layoff 😬 but she did bring the kid to the country but now she's a "tiktok mommy influencer" and lives with her new boyfriend, the owner's kid is pretty nice and help him get a job and he can visit his kid now but lordd that woman is trying really hard to pass her kid as the owner's kid even though the dad is very present she always post talking about how her new boyfriend is basically the kid dad because he's been with her more (who fault is that??!?), funny enough the kid adore her dad. I don't work there anymore but I still watch her tiktoks and talk with my ex coworkers 🤭

Random story time.

I, as a nepo baby, used to work with another nepo baby, except she had higher nepo cred. This girl was the dumbest person I’ve ever met to the point I honestly couldn’t believe she was real.

Anyway she developed a stalker crush on the same guy I had a crush on and he totally hated her and he told me that but I couldn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to know how I knew that. So I was stuck listening to her talk about trying to get his attention even though I knew she had no chance and it was hella weird.

She quite seriously didn’t know what dial codes were. So crazy.

Wonder what ever happened to her 😂

[dokiyeom]

i gasped when i saw how many seasons there were but i had already made up my mind so i just couldn't give up yk 🫡🫡 && for kdramas mmm i saw that u said u weren't really a big fan of thriller/gore/ horror (i am....) so im only gonna give u romance recs!

ps. these are the only romance dramas that u watched 😭 i haven't watched a lot but most of them are either horror or thriller so 🙁

business proposal (girl goes on a blind date instead of her bsf (whos the daughter of a ceo) & tries to make him dislike her so he doesnt want to marry her (her bsf) but the guy turns out to be her new boss) = v v sweet and the 2nd couple was also adorable, deffo one of my fav!! - Netflix + 12 ep / each 1h

hometown cha cha cha (dentist + city girl moves from seoul to the countryside & opens her own dentist office and there's this one guy in the village who she keeps bumping in because he has sm part time jobs and they both dislike each other so .. enemies 2 lovers!) = i loved the dynamic between the two mc! i also really like how they showed that it can be very difficult to adapt and such. imo the girl had character development & i liked that 2! - Netflix + 16 ep / 80~ min each

revenge note 1 (girl gets bullied and suddenly gets an app on her phone that allows her to take revenge on others, all the while she's dealing with having a crush on her friend) = v cute & hs!au . its actually really fun & harmless and the revenge isn't bad BAD yk, eunwoo from astro plays in it too!! i watched this one in like 2017 when i didn't even know what kdrama or kpop was so yeah 😋 revenge note part 2 is fun too but ik i haven't finished it for wtv reason (i don't remember it was years ago 😭) - viki rakuten + 12 ep / 30 to 35 min each

crash landing on you (rich & young business woman goes paragliding, gets dragged by a tornado and released on NK land, a NK officer decides to hide her & sent her back to SK with the help of his friends) = rn im on ep5 (of 16) and i like it a lot! it's very fun and i love the characters sm!! it's also cute because the mcs are married now 😿 - Netflix + 16 ep / 80~ min each

IM GONNA ANSWER UR ASK IN 2 PARTS I THINK 😭😭😭😭

PLS i would’ve also just,, felt extremely defeated if i saw that number of season fjfjdj and i’ve seen my friends talk abt business proposal, hometown cha cha cha, and crash landing on u so hopefully i’ll get to them soon !!! lw tho kdramas r so intimidating to me solely bc the ep lengths r sm longer than the 20 min anime/sitcom eps i’m accustomed to LMAO but i have started reply 1988 && hotel waikiki !! but i will def try to get to ur recs :D

[sanzusbestie]

tenjiku falling for a female rokkie in their gang🤭🤭.like maybe they saw you punched someone for being disrespectful to you.hc pleasee

♡ Tenjiku falling for the rookie ♡

Characters : Kurokawa Izana, Haitani Ran, Haitani Rindou, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Muto Yasuhiro, Madarame Shion, Hitto Kakucho, Mochizuki Kanji, Hanma Shuji, Kisaki Tetta, Kokonoi Hajime & F!reader

Genre : Crack

Warnings : None

A/n : Sorry for the delay sweet anon ! Idk why but the entire time I was writing this I had the "A quién le estás diciendo shut up tu ? A mí me estás diciendo shut up tu ?" video in my head 😭 Thank you for requesting and have a nice day ♡

"Yo look ! That's Tenjiku's new slut !"

He did not just say that, did he ? 🗿

He was the leader of a lame gang that had always tried to pick a fight with Tenjiku for some reason

You were tired of being looked down on because you were a girl

That's why when Izana moved, you called him and smiled softly

"I got this," you said

And damn right you did

You took that mf down in a matter of three strong punches

"Who's next ?" you asked

"S-sorry !" one of them yelled

They took their leader and left

But you've made a great impression on the others

None of them would admit it but you looked better than you ever did when you punched the other guy

Added to that, you were strong, really strong, and smart

But as you were still facing away from them, the Tenjiku boys looked at each others and they noticed

They noticed how each one of them suddenly developed a crush on you

They didn't want to talk about it at first

1) It'd be awkward

2) As an official Tenjiku member, you were always there

Yet one day you called sick, Shion seized the opportunity

"Y'all better back down, Y/n's mine."

"She's not yours, you dumbfuck," Rindou stated

"She's a human being, she's nobody's property," his brother Ran completed

"Yeah, epecially not yours and your stupid braids."

It was silent for a moment, all of them waiting for the next move, it was rare to hear Sanzu talk

"What did you say you little pink shit ?"

As they kept on bickering, Mochi said :

"Even if you're right Sanzu, Y/n will never notice your silent ass. And you, Rindou, you're invisible behind your brother. Don't you all know the saying 'The moon is beautiful tonight' ? If there's someone she can fall in love with it's me. My last name literally means "full moon". It perfectly fits."

"It's perfectly full of shit yeah," Hanma laughed, "You sound so fucking stupid man."

"That's big coming from you, Hanma. Y/n deserves someone that can actually take care of her and you're not suited for that."

"Because you think you're suited for that Kakucho," Muto asked, "You're still a kid. And isn't Izana the only love of your life ?"

"Well, do you think she'd like an adult that enjoys beating up some kids," Kisaki said, cleaning his glasses

"And you think she'd like a manipulative bastard ?" Kokonoi chuckled

"Everybody shut up !" Izana yelled

They were now all looking at him in silence

Until Shion broke it

"Now way..." he mumbled, "Don't tell me you like her too."

"Huh ? Don't be stupid Shion."

But they all saw it when he turned, they all saw the beginning of his blush

None of them talked about this matter ever again, they didn't want to fight each other

However, you noticed some changes at the next Tenjiku meeting

Izana smiled at you for the first time

Shion said less bullshit than usual

Sanzu offered two sentences

Ran wore his hair down

Rindou wasn't with his brother

Kisaki wasn't staring at everybody like the devil

Hanma tried to laugh softly, sounded like a pig in agony

Mochi asked you if you liked the moon, that was surprising

Kakucho asked you from time to time if you needed something

Kokonoi offered to pay your ride back home, which you kindly declined saying you had a bus card

Muto straight up went to you and said : "I don't enjoy beating up kids. You know that, right ?" 💀

Yes, they wouldn't ever talk about it again

But would they give up on courting you ?

No.

♡

Taglist : @eriskaitto @smycc

[billystoilet]

(real not fake) the story of david faulkner. who was taken by jigsaw in 2003 for not appreciating the life he had. getting paid the bare minimum of being an orderly and having the heart of gold to clean up after sick people. befriending a few of the older patients that were just ready to leave and get back to their normal lives. he took care of an older lady that’d call him a sweetheart and say he reminded her of her son, even calling him by his name from time to time. when david woke up with a contraption on his face he didn’t know what to think. he was scared and confused and nauseous, not knowing how or why he was there and who put him there. he had to gut someone, someone he later found out was still alive, to get a key. he unlocked the contraption and slammed it to the ground, the first thing he could do was scream and curl up. after he found an exit out into the pouring rain, he somehow stumbled his way back to the hospital and they called the police. he was brought in for questioning and was released when they found nothing on him for premeditated murder. david spent his life in fear, looking over his shoulder more than once while walking down the street, not being in a public space for more than a few minutes, refusing to speak to anyone. not even the old lady that had called him sweet. everywhere he looked put him in fear and all he could think of was that puppet. he needed to get out of there. he was unfortunately let go from his job, so he scraped together enough money and moved west. he picked up small jobs from town to town and eventually he made it to California a year later, furthest from New York. he felt safer than he had in a long time. although, he still put tough locks on the front door of his new apartment and carried pepper spray in his traveling bag. he spent a few years getting to know the town, picking up small jobs here and there and he felt that he could really live in peace with himself. some time went by and he saw a flyer for a job at a record store, a woman named Andie worked there and needed someone to stock the shelves and help keep the place running. david realized this was the moment where he could choose to meet some actual people, or coward away for a few more years, but he already found himself walking in the direction of the store. ten years had gone by since he was kidnapped by jigsaw and he was happy. turns out Andie was a sweet girl and he couldn’t help but develop feelings for her, and he was sure she liked him too. he didn’t think he could ever feel like that for anybody. there another girl that worked at the record store, Bess was her name, much younger than him and Andie. she was very quiet and only ever really said anything to Andie, but after overhearing a conversation they had, he learned that she had a crush on a guy named Scott. he doesn’t know how he didn’t see it sooner. after his and Andie’s first kiss, she kept avoiding him. obsessing over the guy, Scott. he walked over to her house and he tried apologizing for whatever he did, he just wanted to get it right, he wanted to love somebody and he wanted somebody to love him after the shit life he already had. she kissed him and he was relieved. until there was a knife in his stomach and he was up against the wall on the floor. he ended up dying on a bathroom floor, just like how his twin brother did nine years prior. SEND POST. edit: i wrote this at like 4 in the morning a few days ago so who knows what i really said in this post but i spent so long writing it i am NOT rewriting it😭

[aajjks]

I usually look into your acc everyday for updates and interactions. But recently I haven't come by to your acc for days since I was busy, and I said to myself that maybe a quick peek today wouldn't hurt. And here I am, speechless. Man there are so much that is happening. 😭 And I'ma say all my thoughts at once.

Btw, I'm the anon with a crush, with an involvement of a japanese girl. I hope you'll remember HAHA. I have sent a little update about it, do you think Tumblr may have eaten it up? I'm sad that Tumblr won't let you read it.😭

Next, about that Mommy Issues's Issues? 😭 I'm only just a reader here, and yeah it's quite a trigger for you as a writer for your reader's thoughts about your character. But you are trying your best to clear up things without being harsh about people's different perspectives. Especially you're now careful, Mommy Issues and the Conqueror has quite of the same issues. Like about concubines, women's and child issues. Well, I never send any ask about the 3 jk characters, but I read some asks about them as a joke rather, to see how the character will react. But you are doing great, so well as a writer to pin point something HAHA. To be honest, I do not want to be either of the jk's. It's a pass for me, even though nobody has ever made me feel special, y'know, infatuated maybe the word, I'd prefer to be alone than to be any of them. But if I had to, maybe Mommy Issues Jk HAHA. (Or maybe I want to be with them all three together, yea uhuh I'm crazy) Regards, my point is I appreciate you for everything. You're doing great as a writer.

Next thought HAHA, Mommy Issues had just been a Teaser but I think all of the answers on the asks has been giving us spoilers and insights HAHA.

Next thought. Your ask about 'After Conqueror' I think I wanna see Teach Me and Mommy Issues hehe.

Next thought!😭 Not bunny koo wants to be a stripper😭😭 as a way he thinks it will help y/n. Though since jk has been learning so much on the television, I think oc needs to let him watch some healthy relationships related things. I don't know how to explain this HAHA. Right? Idk HAHA. Maybe it'll help the situation of him being So so SO SO S O CLINGY AND POSSESIVE. To atleast help...a bit...

I also gonna add that #little piece of shit istg —HAHAHAHA god he needs a time out at the back😭

Next issue!😭 about the problematic behavior? Well, I don't/probably think you've kinda been immature to some past issues. But you've apologised for it. It helped you to clear things up and you having to have an open mind about it. A new perspective about it, that you handled very well. And I think we all got some things to fix with, but you know what's right or wrong. You don't need to prove anything to them. Just think of it as you developing to be the best version of yourself.

Next, thank you for that link about deres, I never knew about any of those. Interesting.

Next, YES I KNOW MATILDA! And Miss Honey is literally you can picture how y/n is or would be.

Next, "dora-the-whora" 😭😭😭 I need to be friends with her/him.

Next, Unpopular Opinion: Me having my period, loud rain outside, me alone with full food on the fridge and watching telly. I... Like it. I love it.😭😭

Next and maybe last?😭 At first, I thought jk was depressed or like his whole life has ruined and changed because of the death of his child's mother. Which I thought that it's because he loved her or like the love of his life which he lost forever. Turns out I was wrong HAHA. So when the oc came to his life and filled it with hope and colors touched me. And of course who wouldn't like oc, who is a fond of children. It's lovely. So I thought of oc must give him a chance somehow HAHA. Though of course, it's scary since he has issues but who gives a fuck? HAHAHAHA. I also thought that maybe he needs to do the first move but boy I feel like he's gonna pee his pants. Like Clyde from Loud House who's could've nose bleed. This could've add up to your ask about 'Assumptions for Characters'

+ MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT MY FIC + CLUB CHARACTERS AND THEY WILL RESPOND

MI jk would've pee his pants and have a nose bleed if ever y/n would talk with him or her asking him on a date.

Ps. Sorry for my English. Sorry for the long ask. 😭💐

You are so sweet and CUTE. You took your time to write all of this to me and that is so sweet, I read this ask like 3 times and thank you for ALL YOUR OF YOUR PRECIOUS THOUGHTS. I really love your way of understanding and thinking 🥺💕🙏

[envirae]

glimpse of us — yang jungwon

pairing: bf!jungwon x gn!reader genre: heavy angst wc: 1.2k warnings: arguing, heartbreak, mentions of not eating, jungwon is kind of a bad bf note: yujin is just!! a!! name!! not shipping him with any other idols so don't think that 😭😭 listen to: glimpse of us - joji

When you first met Jungwon, he was at his absolute lowest.

He had just been broken up with, and he was taking it hard. He refused to eat, he would sleep all day, screen all his calls, and always seemed to be in a sour mood. After all, everything reminded him of her.

Yujin. You never knew her, but you knew she was amazing. You could tell from pictures and the way your friends spoke of her that she was the prettiest girl you had ever seen, bright eyes, and a smile that lit up a room.

He never told you the reason they broke up, but then again, you never asked.

When Jungwon first asked you to be his girlfriend, it was seemingly out of nowhere. You'd developed a crush on Jungwon ever since the day you met him, and all of your friends could tell. They often teased you about it, and you were almost sure Jungwon knew.

You knew he was still healing from Yujin, which was why you refused to act on your feelings. But things fell apart when Yujin got a new boyfriend.

You found out from mutual friends, and Jungwon sure didn't take it lightly. You thought that this would set his progress back months. But when he suddenly told you he was in love with you, you had no complaints. He was hurting, that much was obvious. But if you could help him, even just a little bit, shouldn't you?

Your relationship was exhilarating, he wanted to be with you all the time and he treated you like a princess. He was everything you could ask for and so much more.

However, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

There was always something that wasn't quite right. The way he acted, he felt so distant, even though he was right in front of you.

The first crack in the glass came when he gifted you a sweater she used to wear for your birthday. He told you he saw it at the store and said it made him think of you. You started wearing it all the time.

You would never have known you and her owned identical sweaters if you hadn't been stalking his instagram. He kept photos of her up on his page, and brushed it off as "i haven't gotten around to deleting them" when you asked him about it. Fair enough.

There it was, a photo of her, with her arms wrapped around his neck, wearing the same damn sweater.

You chose to ignore it. After all, it could just be a big coincidence, right?

The second red flag was your one year anniversary. He told you he had a big surprise for you and that you should dress up.

You spent hours preparing, wanting to look your very best. But When he picked you up, he seemed so out of it. Not a single compliment on your appearance (not that you cared, but it would've been nice of him to notice), not even a 'hey, how are you?' just a simple nod as you got into the car.

After seeing the fancy restaurant he had taken you to, you'd forgiven him for the car thing.

"This place is so nice! How'd you find it?" You said excitedly as you sat down.

He chuckled a bit, "What are you talking about? I may be forgetful but I know this is your favorite restaurant."

You paused for a second, looking around to see if you were forgetting something. "I've never been here, Wonnie. I couldn't possibly afford this place usually."

He stopped moving for a while, seeming deep in thought as he stared into your eyes. "Oh. Right. I must have gotten confused."

You continued on with dinner normally, but you couldn't get that thought out of your head. After he said that, you knew that this was her favorite restaurant.

You observed the restaurant, wondering how many times they had been here and how many memories they made together. Had they sat at this very table before? How could he possibly confuse you with her?

The final straw was when he came home from a long day at work, practically half asleep.

"Hey, how was practice?" You asked from the kitchen right after hearing the front door open and close.

After hearing no response, you went to go check on him, who was laying down on the couch, near passed out.

You sat down next to him, putting a hand on his forehead to make sure he was okay. He must've been startled by it because he opened his eyes slightly.

He smiled when he saw you, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. "I love you." He said.

"I love you too." You responded with a soft smile.

"You're amazing, Yujin. I'm so lucky to have you." He dozed off right after that, but you sat there dumbfounded.

He woke up on the couch next morning, incredibly confused. He found you working on your computer in the kitchen and kissed you on the cheek.

"Good morning, my love." He smiled, but was a little disappointed to see you had no reaction. He poured himself a cup of coffee as he glanced at you. "I had this crazy dream last night."

"Was it the one where you mistook me for Yujin?" You asked, making him recoil. The memories from last night came flooding back, and he physically cringed.

"Fuck, babe I'm sorry. I was tired and I wasn't thinking. It's not a big deal." He apologized, which outraged you because of how nonchalant he was being.

"Not a big deal? Oh come on, Jungwon that's bullshit. I've dealt with this for months now but you think I haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what? What are you talking about?"

"You're still in love with Yujin!" You spat, seeing his eyes widen. "I can tell by the way you look at me, the way you hug me it just- it's all wrong! The only times I feel like you're really here is when you're imagining I'm her." Your voice was shaky, and you were on the verge of tears.

Jungwon's face was unreadable. "I thought I was over her. I really did." He started, "And you- you're so amazing. But you aren't her. And every single time I look at you, I just keep thinking about the way it was."

"So you thought you could just use me in place of her? That's fucked up, Jungwon! It's been a year, just get over it!"

"You don't think I'm trying, y/n?! You don't think it makes me feel guilty that every time I see you I wish it was her?" He yelled, frustrated.

Both of you went silent for a moment, and Jungwon immediately regretted what he just said. "Hey, babe- y/n, I didn't mean that. It's just-"

"You don't owe me an explanation, Jungwon." You said softly. You don't think you could've bared to look him in the eyes, so you just stared at the floor. "I think you should go."

He didn't argue with you, instead he just walked out. You weren't sure when he would come back or what you would say to him if he did, but you didn't really want to think about that right now.

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