#(area lesbian is delusional)

[marzipanandminutiae]

“I want gay things to happen to me now” I say, sitting at home being an unpleasant harridan with weird interests and very specific romantic tastes and life goals not common among my preferred dating demographic

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi :) i hear you give advice and i very much need some. I’m 15 and I live in a pretty (very) conservative christian area.

My older sibling is 19, and came out as trans to me like a year ago. Ngl I didn’t really know what that meant, cause we don’t learn about that stuff (except for your classic, anything that isn’t “normal” is wrong). But he just told me that he’s happier with he/him and with his new name. But he hasn’t told our parents yet, so I have to use the old stuff in front of them when he comes back for visits (he’s as uni) which feels gross cause I know he feels uncomfortable but it’s fine. 

I sort of thought the he/him thing would be weird, since that’s not how i’ve addressed him my whole life, but after a couple of months it was actually super easy. We call each other like twice a week, and I was worried we’d drifted apart after he told me but actually were closer than ever, I feel like I know him a lot better now. 

Oh but his old name, the one parents gave him, SUCKS. And now I can’t mock him for it cause he picked a new one, which seems unfair to me but I can come up with new material, i’m creative.

Anyway, he told me that he’s been saving up and he’s gonna get top surgery. He’s had a pretty good job since  school so I guess he’s been saving since then. I hear it’s expensive. 

But it made him decide to tell our parents. So when he came up and visited, just before he left, he told them.

That was last week. They reacted terribly, as we knew they would. And they’ve both been yelling about it a bunch. Saying stuff like “He (okay no they’re actually using she but I won’t be doing that even in writing cause it feels wrong cause it’s my brother) is totally insane” or “He needs therapy, we failed him.” or “How dare *old name* do this” or “he’s delusional” and a bunch of other awful shit like that.

So I have two options. I can try and encourage them to do little things like use he/him for my brother. Or call him their son instead of daughter. Or actually look at photos of him now (he very much doesn’t look like a girl anymore- idk how they didn’t realise tbh). Or how he always did little things like cutting his hair and hating dresses and other stuff like that.

I’ve often been able to help my parents be nicer about stuff. Like my friend who’s a lesbian, they hated her at first but now they’re nicer about it.

But maybe if I do that they’ll start yelling about corrupting me (as they’ve done in the past) and harass my brother worse and be even worse about it all. 

It’s hard to know which direction it’ll go.

And look I still don’t really get it. But also it makes sense, you know? It’s like the final puzzle piece being slotted in, all those things he used to do make sense now. 

My parents say I can’t interact with lgbtq+ stuff cause they’ll corrupt me. But like- not to be rude but, aren’t they corrupting me? My brother HAPPY. I don’t see how that’s wrong. And they’re the ones telling me I should be actively encouraging him to be- what, sad again? Uncomfortable in himself. 

I don’t know, i’m not totally sure I understand my parents or my brother. I got tumblr in the first place since it’s the only thing I could think of that’s online (so I could hide it) and probably has lgbtq+ people on it so I could- idk get used to it I guess. 

And now i’m here. 

When it comes down to it, I want my brother to be happy, and if he’s happier as my brother than my sister then I don’t see why I should care about him switching pronouns or whatever. 

So I want to try and help my parents see it like that too. And they often do see new sides to things when I point them out. So maybe id be helping.

But there’s also the chance they’d get more mad at my brother for corrupting me and that’d make him upset and that’s not what I want. 

So yeah, any advice? 

It’s kinda scary coming from my small town onto the giant internet of people i’ve been taught are weird. But you guys don’t seem that weird. I mean- you do but weird like i’m weird, not weird like ill. (Sorry if any of this seems rude btw, I might not get it but i’m trying really hard not to judge anyone, since it’s pretty clear to me that some of the things i’ve been taught aren’t correct). 

Also why do my parents think my brothers ill anyway? I know him, i’d know if he’s ill. Also i love history, and trans people are all over history. I mean they’re never said to be trans but watching my brother, it’s pretty obvious other people were like him. 

Anyway, thanks and have a good summer 💖

Hi hon!

I want to tell you, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you're an amazing support to your brother. You should be so proud of yourself.

I think you need to think about what is best for you and your mental health. If speaking up to your parents about your brother could end in them getting mad at you, it might not be a good idea. You've been doing amazing at supporting him while staying quiet, and I know he knows you support him. It might be best for yout o quietly educate yourself online without making a fuss, until you aren't relying on your parents as much for money, food, and shelter- kind of like your brother did.

This also might be a good thing to talk to your brother about, too. Like you said, this could affect him, and he probably knows your parents well. He might have some good advice <3 But you don't HAVE to stand up to them if it's not good for you. It's okay to educate yourself, and be an ally in other ways <3

Naming you history anon <3

(also wish your brother luck on his top surgery for me!)

[bullshit-tqia]

It's interesting to talk about her again, but under a new lens.

Some way, somehow, men can experience the oppression that comes from being born with a vagina by growing their hair out and wearing a dress.

If I knew it was that easy to experience misogyny, then no wonder I and so many other women identified as men or nonbinary as a way to escape reality. But identifying as a man didn't make people suddenly treat me like I was a man online or in person.

None of the men Benjanun surrounds herself with would identify as women if it was 1930. Although, there were a few who did, it's actually because they were gay men who thought there was something seriously wrong with them for being same sex attracted and thus sought SRS to "fix" them. This is the actual history of transitioning and the same practice is done today and state sanctioned in countries like Iran, where homosexuality is illegal, but being trans is legal because they see it as a cure to homosexuality. Just like Herschfield.

"Hirschfeld sought to specialize in sexual health, an area of growing interest. Many of his predecessors and colleagues believed that homosexuality was pathological, using new theories from psychology to suggest it was a sign of mental ill health. Hirschfeld, in contrast, argued that a person may be born with characteristics that did not fit into heterosexual or binary categories and supported the idea that a 'third sex' (or Geschlecht) existed naturally. Hirschfeld proposed the term 'sexual intermediaries' for nonconforming individuals. Included under this umbrella were what he considered “situational” and 'constitutional' homosexuals—a recognition that there is often a spectrum of bisexual practice—as well as what he termed 'transvestites.' This group included those who wished to wear the clothes of the opposite sex and those who 'from the point of view of their character' should be considered as the opposite sex. One soldier with whom Hirschfeld had worked described wearing women’s clothing as the chance 'to be a human being at least for a moment.'"

"Article"

The rest of this article is sheer illiterate idiocy. Herschfield thought that being gay was a third sex. Yet people ignore this so they can delusionally believe Herschfield believed in nonbinary people. No, he believed in making gay men into straight women and making lesbians into straight men. It literally says it right where I highlighted it, but that is too inconvenient to digest.

[keybord-caps]

Pinned Post

Hi, Welcome to our system, disorders, and extra stuff blog. our fun awesome blog where we have pawblems and issues and hold more personal things tied to our identity as parts and a whole. We like to keep this blog super nice and tidy and organized, so if the amount of tags we have and use is a bit overwhelming, I do apologize! It's so nice and tidy...

We do experience Delusional Attachments/Overlaps, also ig known as being an IRL and it effects the system in various ways.

Try to harrass us for literally anything and you get blocked. Try to be weird about us being a system, having overlaps, having disorders, etc and you get blocked. We don't have time nor energy to waste on stupid shit anymore. We WILL Thrive.

Stay Hydrated, Fed, Vitamined, make sure you Rest, take your Meds, and keep yourself and those around you that you care for safe. High, Low, No or Fluxating Empathy, your feelings still matter.

Freq Fronter Intros, Links, Tags we use, DNI, and Creds Under the Cut for Convenience ♡

Freq Fronters

Host

⇦ Maxwell

⇧ 21

⇨ Something[s]!

⇩ It/She/He/Co/Code/

⇦ Xenoflux

⇧ Idemromantic Aspec Omni

⇨ Made of a LOT of things, we don't even know !!!

⇩ Regresses! She has a blog for this

Co-Host+Caretaker

⇦ Doug Eiffel

⇧ 34

⇨ Human

⇩ He/Him

⇦ Cis Man

⇧ Bi?

⇨ Prefers people he isnt close to to call him Eiffel

⇩ We call him a horse because of a joke made about his source

Frontkeeper

⇦ Mikhail

⇧ 26 [?]

⇨ Mostly Human-Looking Demon

⇩ He/It/Cri/Crime/Pun/Punishment/Bun/Bunself/Nib/Nibble/Bi/Bite

⇦ Genderunholy, Bungender, Rabbitgender

⇧ Arospec+Aspec Gay

⇨ His area is right outside of front, easy to get into front. He has a guy who stays with him

⇩ Has prosthetics that line up with some parts of the body the brain has weird feelings about [Wants To Remove Them]

Gatekeeper

⇦ Chicago

⇧ None

⇨ Mechanical+Computer Dragon

⇩ It/He/She [doesnt care]

⇦ ???

⇧ ???

⇨ Technically always in front

⇩ Is Up !

Blog Links + Credits

Main Blog

Maxwell's Regression Blog

Divider Masks made by azure-recesses

NPD Flag made by npdflag

BPD Flag made by dragoneating

Icon Mask made by azure-recesses

BPD System Flag in icon made by sadowife

NPD System Flag in icon made by outergodly

System Tags

-blurry : Signed off as blurry. for when we are ! Blurry

-[name] : used for headmates without a specific tag

LOLCAT Pawgrammer : Maxwell posts

Comms Horse : Eiffel Post

Daemonic Rabbit : Mikhail Posts

Mechanical Dragon : Chicago Posts

Caps Folder : General System's Favs

Maxwell Folder : Maxwell's favs

Eiffel Folder : Eiffel's favs

Mikhail Folder : Mikhail's favs

Chicago folder : Chicago's favs

General Organization Tags

booting up : our posts

rebooting : reblogs

.txt : posts with text

.png : posts with image[s]

.gif : posts with gif[s]

.mp4 : posts with video[s]

.mp3 : posts with audio[s]

.jar : posts with poll[s]

.bat : posts with link[s], only for saving 'important' ones

Tarot Desk : important system to us

Mosiac Symphony : important system to us

Specific Kinds of Posts Tags

Userboxes : Posts with Userboxes we align with

Disorder Flags : Flags based on Disorders

System Flags : Flags based on Systems

Role Flags : Flags based on Roles

Headmate Flags : Flags based on types of Headmates

Gender Flags : Flags based on Genders

Orientation Flags : Flags Based on Orientation

Attraction Flags : Flags based on Attraction

Other Flags : Flags based on Other Things :D A Catch-All

DNI List

Zoos/Pedos/MAPs/NoMAPS + Pro contact harmful paraphilias

Zionists, Racists, Israel Supporters

Believe in Personality Disorder Abuse [Narc Abuse, Borderline Abuse, Histrionic Abuse, ETC]

Transphobes, Transmeds, Terfs, Radfems

Homohobes, Queerphobes

Anti-Mogai, Anti-Xenogenders, Anti-Neopronouns

anti-mspec gays+lesbians, anti contradictory labels

Com+Proshippers

TransID, Radqueer

Nontraumagenics [Mixed Origins Included], Endos, Tulpamancers, Endo Positives/Supporters [We dont think anyones really faking, just dont wanna interact]

Pro Harrassment or Doxxing of Anyone

We also block based on vibes and sometimes just not liking something👍

I can and will add to this list. I also have the forget disorder so things may be missing

Our earlier message about selfcare applies for people on the dni as well. You can grow no matter what. Wether you want to or not. Its pawsible. Shit gets better. ♡

[ear-worthy]

Flashpoint Podcast To Focus on the 1996 Olympic Bombing

The Paris Olympics begin next week so naturally the podcast world is also ramping up with NBC, for the first time, dedicating resources to its coverage of the Games via podcasting. 

Further, there are podcasts reliving the most infamous moments of past Olympics. One notable podcast, Flashpoint, is co-produced by Tenderfoot TV and iHeartPodcasts. On July 27, 1996, a domestic terrorist bomb shattered the safety of the Summer Centennial Olympic Games held in Atlanta, GA, forever altering the lives of those affected. The subsequent media frenzy and FBI missteps overshadowed the stories of the true victims.

Beyond the Olympic bombing, Eric Rudolph targeted two abortion clinics and a lesbian nightclub in the Atlanta area, leaving a trail of devastation that has largely been untold.

You can view the trailer here. Flashpoint focuses on the victims and aftermath of the Olympic and other bombings, whose stories are often overlooked. The series launches on July 25th. 

Flashpoint will revisit the manhunt for a serial bomber and delve into the harrowing aftermath, and the victims overlooked, a chapter often forgotten. The series will explore the impact of these attacks through the personal stories of the victims and their families who were left to pick up the pieces. Flashpoint sheds light on the impact of these events through a personal lens, unearthing Rudolph's motivations, while exploring America's greatest threat, the political and religious radicalization of homegrown terrorists.

 Hosted by Cole Locascio, who takes listeners through his own shocking connection to these bombings, the series will also reveal first-hand stories from the following, along with many more:

Vince Velazquez, an Atlanta rookie cop during the Olympics who witnessed the bombings

Emily Lyons, a Birmingham abortion clinic nurse who was brutally injured by the bombings

Rob Stadler, a renowned radio station host who nearly lost his twin daughters in the Sandy Springs abortion clinic bombing 

Terry Turchie, Inspector in Charge of Rudolph's manhunt

Dana Ford, Owner of The Otherside Lounge and key witness to the Centennial Park bombing

Monica Kaufman, legendary Atlanta WSB reporter who heavily covered the bombings and manhunt that followed

Doug Jones, former Alabama US Senator and former US Attorney who indicted Eric Rudolph

Check out Flashpoint on July 25th. It is indeed a sad commentary that the more media presence at an event, the more likely it is that a person will draw attention to their hate-filled or delusional cause, usually through violence.

[chunghasgirlfriend]

text your friends guys !!

ngl i have this friend that i had a complicated thing with, not directly but through my other friends. long story short, he had a thing with my two friends when we were in high school and in the end, they stopped talking to him and slowly i did too. not that he did anything to me, just that i didn't want my two friends to feel bad and i've learned to NOT do that. he didn't do anything to me, so i'm a little sad about that i pushed him away without saying anything.

we both graduated high school this year, so i had talked to him all throughout that and even learned that he now drives, lives in the area of our uni now, and has a girlfriend now. we exchanged phone numbers and just decided that if we wanted to hang out we could, or at least know someone from our county

but anyways i recconnected with him when he wished me happy birthday and we started talking again. it was actually super cool to talk again. we're both going to the same uni and we were were just talking about it, like schedules and stuff. and it just so nice to have a friend again.

i pushed everyone away because i just didn't feel like talking to any of my friends. even prior to the situation with him and my friends, I just slowly stopped talking to my friends and stopped making new ones at school because i was just tired. I mean the people i was around were people I knew since middle school and I was just tired of seeing them. i didn't want to call my friends nor did i want to text them.

so reconnecting with my friend was really nice. when I went to my orientation, and i met the girl who I now currently have a crush on (see my other posts lol), I told him about her and he even started to cheer me on.

Like imagine me, this is a dude I've been friends with since 7th grade. He's seen all messy sides of me and how I've changed throughout the years, and TRUST ME, how much I say change. From my interests to how I act to my sexuality, he's seen it all. And me to him also. I guess it's just I'm so glad that I have a genuine friend that I can rely on and just talk to. I'm a lesbian and he's a straight taken guy, so it's not like we're interested in each other. Which is kinda new to me bc I've had mostly female friends and most of them I was kinda into or at least willing to date, so it's nice to have a friend that I'm genuinely not into to confide in.

And it was his birthday and since I was still awake at 12 am, I decided to text him happy birthday like he did to me and it was nice. I updated him about me and girl I like (we're getting lunch with our familes together when we move in together !!!) and he updated me on spending time with his gf and buying furniture. Like dude, we're actually becoming adults !!! how crazy is that ????

this was someone I used to just talk about anime and drawing with at 12/13, what the hell do you mean I'm getting to talk to him about moving into college and him buying furniture for a house ????

it's just...I feel really happy now. I have cute girl I like who I also just really enjoy as my friend. She's just as delusional as I am in all the right ways and she's also lgbtq+. And now I also have a dependable friend that I can count on to hang out with. I'm a little scared to leave for college, but I'm also incredibly excited. My life is finally looking up after the pandemic basically decimated my high school experience.

Make sure to text your friends guys. If you're like me, too cynical + too self aware, and think everything you do is cringey, trust me, your real friends won't give a shit. Just talk to them, if nothing else, it's nice to talk with someone else and just catch up. Our lives are always going in different trajectories, but if we have company beside us, it makes life a little less intimidating.

I've definitely been caught up in relationships that make me ignore the importance of friends and I've always been someone to emphasize friendships, but I've never taken my own advice. But now, I feel it more than ever. Relationships are great, but don't just throw away important friendships, especially when you're two friends trying to figure out adult life with.

[icaruskey]

Okay to be clear, it is possible to be a TERF and transgender. It is extreme, but the doublethink is possible, as is the "for me but not for thee" approach that is also common.

Also sorry, this got long. I just have a lot of feelings about language and labels and people erasing the meaning of words by overusing them to try and label everyone a certain thing and flatten things into a simple us vs them when it's. More complex.

Though LO dehumanizing people isn't new.

However, it is important to remember when discussing shit like this, especially with people who will throw around words to the point of losing meaning (ie LO here), what those words mean.

TERF is shorthand for trans-exclusionary radical feminist/ism. Radical feminism is one of the three main paths feminism took in the US during second wave feminism (the other two are liberal feminism and intersectional feminism). Radical feminism's most identifiable traits are a desire to isolate from or flip the current patriarchy on its head. It's how we get political lesbianism and lesbian separatism. It's marked by a hatred of men, usually justified in some genuine hurt and/or trauma at the hands of individual men in a person's life.

TERF ideology thinks trans women are men trying to sneak into single sex spaces and/or put on womanhood as a costume. They think trans men are gender traitors or trying to escape into privilege. They don't think of nonbinary or intersex people unless it's to try and push them into the previous two boxes or call them delusional.

JK Rowling is a TERF despite her more moderate to liberal political leanings because she's been radicalized in this one specific area of her life by anti-trans activists. So she may believe that a person can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, but she's made it very clear she thinks single sex spaces are mandatory and trans people should not be allowed to exist in them. See her recent transvestigation on Imane Khefil and Lin Yu Ting.

TIRF is a trans-inclusionary radical feminist. Basically all of the above, but a TIRF does believe trans women "count" as women. They usually also believe trans men have privilege over women and trans women, etc etc. Nonbinary and intersex people can throw them for a loop. What counts as a trans woman for a TIRF can be very individual. There's also a subset of TIRF who self-identify as baeddel which is a whole 'nother mess and one should not call a TIRF a baeddel unless they have made it clear that they are one (usually calling themselves one, interacting with known baeddels, baeddel as identifier in some form on their blog).

Truscum/transmed/transmedicialism is the belief that you have to have dysphoria and intend to/plan on HRT/surgically transitioning to truly be trans. There's also a heavy helping of "we can never truly be the gender that we want to be" thought that originates here. I believe Buck Angel is truscum which is why ContraPoints got heat when she brought him on for a voice bit. Truscum can be anywhere on the political spectrum. I don't know BA's political alignment, but I do know Blaire White is truscum. Weirdly, one of the hardest things I watched was a clip of her on Fox News where a woman just told BW to shut up, she'll never be a woman just because she shaves her mustached, and BW just. Took it.

Like, she's an awful person but ow.

Of course then you just have straight up transphobes, which can also be anywhere on the political spectrum. You can have have specific transphobias (transmisogyny, transandrophobia, exorsexism, intersexism) as well just the blanket "you're not performing/expressing gender in a way that fits into my worldview."

LO calling Crim a TERF is funny since in her own narrative he's also conservative/alt right/etc. So by that logic alone he can't be a TERF.

The truth is Crim just uses the word transandrophobia to describe a specific type of marginalization that disproportionally affects trans men and trans masc aligned people (though, like with any phobia, it can affect others as phobias like this do not stop to ask about your preferred pronouns), and LO doesn't like that. LO has to be the biggest victim around and part of transandrophobia's underlying philosophy is that trans men in general do not hold power over other trans people but instead are oppressed as much, even if it can manifest in different ways.

Ok I'm gonna like. Actually go take a nap.

To play devils advocate for a second, I think some trans people could be TERF in the sense that they might might exclude or dehumanize people with different trans identities from their or experiences or way to present their gender. I might be wrong or too cynical but I saw those kinda of things happen. But then again, none of that shit I said applies here since we know that's not why Lily is calling Crimson a TERF. It's just because he doesn't like her specifically.

P.S: Also the guts to randomly accuse someone of being bigoted in some type of way when you have screenshotted post of you calling people dehumanizing things... What does that make you, Lily? What does the amount of people of the LGBT+ community that you don't like and slander say about you?

To use an extreme, a trans person being a terf is kinda like a poc being a KKK member. It's happens, but you scratch your head at the sight of it. (Again, this is like a super extreme example)

Like Kelly cadigan and Blare White are both Trans conservative women with Kelly being a dick to the NB community and poc's and blare being blare (I'll be real, I know Jack shit about blare I just know she's conservative)

But like you said, this isn't Lily helping out the community by calling out actual TERFs. This is her once again calling someone she doesn't like a TERF

[booasaur]

I think I watch too much wlw tv cos as soon as I saw Shelby and Toni going at it I was like ... lesbians

Heh, I actually really like that we can now see and recognize actual buildup and tension in f/f storylines, this used to be an area in which we’d just be considered delusional for seeing any kind of subtext. And I also like that more and more, there actually is some buildup and not the writers rushing it and going there in a first ep.

And another anon:

I just finished the episode where Shelby and Toni kiss and as much as I knew it was coming/saw the build up, for me, the couple of the show should have been Rachel and Leah. Their chemistry those first few episodes was so good and even the tension I liked. It was an enjoyable season though. I did wish Fatin was the lead, she just super layered and hilarious. Also I just like how that actress played it!

Oh, I didn’t even think of that, I guess I was already waiting for Toni/Shelby, I didn’t think we’d get another pair, not even...heh, MY other pair, Dot/Fantin. I really did love Fantin, in all her laziness and unapologeticness and basic decency and kindness. The actress played her SO well, just making these dry observations, she was a joy to watch.

And another anon:

Was there a bet in the writing room of the wilds on how to make the lesbian characters more off putting? Pee, anger, dentures, shaved head. The only part of the show that i didn't enjoy was these two, i prefer Toni with her first girlfriend they were cute and had more chemistry.

This is so uncharitable, anon. :x 

They ALL looked messes by the end, and I’ll grant you the pee thing, lol, but anger? Especially for her background and these circumstances? Lots of them had their moments of anger, whole episodes, and by the end she was so chill. And dentures? People, even when young, can sometimes need them. There’s no need to make them even more self-conscious. And the shaved head was like, in a few scenes off the island and is just a style choice...

I feel like these are some very subjective biases you have, anon, and are stating them as general and factual. As with other recent discussions, you don’t have to like them or be attracted to them, you just have to buy that other people, including these two characters on a deserted island, would.

I did like the previous girlfriend, though! But the relationship was specifically written that way to be like, a one-ep backstory. If it was going to be a main thing, it would be written differently.

[marvelfansince08love]

Finally a Prompt List!!!

Hi Guys! Since I’m trying to get back into my writing, I thought it would be the perfect time to upload a prompt list. There is a mixture of prompts because I’m a sucker for angst, fluff and smut. 

Characters that I am willing to write them for is: 

Marvel: Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff 

AHS: Cordelia Goode, Ally Mayfair-Richards, Wilhemina Venable (will potentially write for Sally and Billie if I feel confident enough with the prompt sent through)

Oceans 8: Lou Miller, Tammy 

Prompt List: 

1.       “Why didn’t you tell me”

2.       “The only thing I have left is you”

3.       “Just kiss me”

4.       “That was amazing, you’re amazing”

5.       “My only fear is losing you”

6.       Sit and look pretty, my love”

7.       “While they all fall in love with her smile, she waits for one who will fall in love with her scars”

8.       “You think I’m beautiful”

9.       “You pull a stunt like that again; you won’t be coming for a month”

10.   “I’ve been in love with you since you spilt coffee down my shirt”

11.   “You deserve more than this”

12.   “My loyalties lie with you, not the title you’ve been given”

13.   “It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you!”

14.   “Come on now, dear. Let’s not torture her any longer” – x2 character x reader

15.   “I hope you had enough sleep while I was away because I’m going to ravish you all.night.long”

16.   “You’re so pretty” “And you are drunk, darling”

17.   “I can’t live… not without you”

18.   “How could you be so irresponsible”

19.   “This smells amazing”

20.   “Wait, say that again”

21.   “Is this what you pictured in that dirty mind of yours, my sweet girl”

22.   “I love you and I’m scared”

23.   “You drive me insane!”

24.   “You look sensational”

25.   “How could I ever let you go”

26.   “I was a fool for letting you go”

27.   “That could be you, but you are a coward”

28.   “Why don’t we take this somewhere more private”

29.   “If you love me then you are a fool” “Then I’ll be a fall in love”

30.   “If this is your attempt at pushing me away, it won’t work”

31.   “Is that a gun in your pocket?” “No, I’m just happy to see you”

32.   “Hey. Do you hear that?” “Yeah, it’s me sleeping”

33.   “Yeah, you keep yelling at me. I’m gonna call the nurse”

34.   “How about you get me off?”

35.   “I think I love you.” “I think you’re delusional”

36.   “Your eyes sparkle brighter than the stars”

37.   “Eat me out”

38.   “Oh my God, are they parent trapping us?!” “I’m going to kill them” “You can’t kill our children” “Who says I can’t?!” “The Law!”

39.   “Go fuck yourself.” “How about you fuck me yourself, you coward?!”

40.   “She will be beautiful – just like her mother”

Please send me an ask! I’ll start writing them this week but will be prioritising the next chapter of my Lou Miller x Reader story. 

P.s: Self harm/suicide topics are no go areas for me as I wouldn't feel comfortable with writing it! I hope you understand 💛

BIG SHOUT OUT TO @lesbian-deadpool FOR HELPING ME WITH SOME OF THESE PROMPTS ILY

Tags: @waitingfortheendtocome @smuttty @redcrete @deadly-darling

[starshineandbooks]

Things are better if I stay...

word count: 4,105

Title from Helena by My Chemical Romance

Ao3

Warnings: MAJOR CHARTER DEATH! Angst, dealing with the death, after life, trauma, blood, gore, attempted murder, accidental murder, successful murder, Murderous! Virgil (He isn’t the killer) LOGAN ANGST! Fuck it, everyone hurts. Also not beta read

Pairings: LAMP, Thomas/Harley (Heart)

For @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors‘ Laoft au LOGAN ANGST

Summary: A coup gone wrong ends Logan’s life early, even by human standards, he dies and his loved ones are left to pick up the pieces. 

AKA: I got sad so I took my emotional support character from not only the fandom but the LAOFT AU specificaly, and killed him. Oops.

Logan wasn’t supposed to be there, he never was. It was meant for his husband, for Virgil. A plan made by drunken faeries to throw a coup, and try to over through Virgil.

   Virgil who was at home with their daughter. Virgil who was the faerie prince. Virgil who would later be very very murderous.

   Logan strides through the door of the faerie hill,making sure he has everything in his satchel, eyes falling to the crunching leaves under foot. He sighs, the autumn air chilly this evening, just this side of unpleasant.

   The next time Logan has to go and get Bell’s lesbian out of trouble he’ll have to have a real coming to Jesus with Bell. Logan shakes the thought from his mind, he must be spending too much time with May.

   “Help!” A voice calls, and Logan goes still.

   Logan is not delusional, he is still in a decidedly Fae part of the woods, and voices from an unseen source are definitely not to be trustable.

   “HELP ME!” It rings again.

   A second voice sounds, “No, you’ll draw attention.”

   The second voice sounds like that of an injured man.

   Logan swallows, he can’t leave them here. The voices, they’re those of his mortal husbands. Logan could never just leave them there.

   Logan has never been very good at rationing things when he is distressed for a loved one.

   He doesn't care, he runs to the right suddenly, following the calls for help that are in Patton’s voice, broken and brittle like glass shards. Scared, almost as chilling as when he’d been confronted with the Roman the serpent king owned, the night Roman.

   Logan doesn't feel the first arrow until the second one is hitting.

   Each arrow goes to his chest, hitting vital organs, and making him bleed entirely too much. He feels each arrow, fifteen in total, hit him, piercing through his skin and muscles, flowers growing from his wounds and hurting him further.

   Logan crumples and hears an exchange of words that worry him.

   “Oh fuck- That’s snowmelt! Oh we are so dead!”

   “You are so dead, I didn’t shoot the arrows.”

   “That won’t matter when the witch hears about it.”

   Logan swallows hard, eyes glazing over and heart racing, what if they get Virgil next?

   “Virg-” HIs throat is too full of sharp bloody shards of pain to continue.

   “Logan?!” Virgil calls, appearing, it’s pretty hard for the magic in Logan’s bracelet to not let Virgil know of Logan’s condition.

   Virgil scans the area just long enough to feel terrified before he looks to the ground and feels something far, far more potent than the terror of a few seconds before.

   “Logan- This- This isn’t funny! Come on, get up! Get up, get up you- you- you incredibly wonderful man, get up!” Virgil shrieks, knees feeling weaker than they have in years.

   “Get up.”

   Logan swallows hard and manages, “I would like that very much, yes.”

   “Then get up!”

   “It seems as though I cannot at the moment, darling.” Logan coughs hard, lungs rattling and blood coming to splatter his face and arm as Logan tries to cover his mouth.

   “Logan,” Virgil says, sinking to his knees in a surly undignified matter.

   Not that Virgil could care in even the slightest with Logan bleeding out on the forest floor, in front of him no less. This isn’t right. This isn’t okay. Nothing is okay and he’s going to lose Logan isn’t he?

   What is he going to tell PAtton and Roman? Kai, Sloane, Remy, Emilie, everyone else? What will he tell Linda? Or Dot and LArry?

   God, what will he tell Thomas?

   “Pretty stars tonight,” Logan rasps, eyes falling from the sky back to Virgil, “darling?”

   “Yeah,” Virgil nods, he’ll alway agree with his husbands.

   But right now Logan could say he’d never loved Virgil, and wanted to marry the serpent king but married Virgil to spite the unseelie, and that Logan had never loved anyone, and that Virgil deserved to be tortured, and Virgil would agree. Virgil would agree to anything.

   “Don’t be sad, love.” Logan says weakly, reaching for Virgil.

   Except that.

   How could Virgil ever possibly not be sad over this?!

   “Logan,” Virgil sobs, eyesight blurring at an alarming rate. But he takes Logan’s hand between his own two gently, “Logan don’t, I can get us to May.”

   Virgil focuses everything he has on taking Logan to May, the shadows closing in around them, he won’t lose Logan too. Never, Logan isn’t- Logan’s not even old enough to die by human standards!

   A startled shriek from Patton on the couch followed by a gasp and a call for mAy in about three voices.

   Virgil’s own, if anyone was really listening, was distorting and turning decidedly non human, and much more eldritch horror-y than not.

   “Shhh,” Logan shushes, “Don’t -Linny’s asleep.”

   Virgil snaps back around to give Logan a very dirty look, how dare Logan shush him when Logan is literally dying. Oh god, Logan is dying- this isn’t right. Nothing is right-

   “Everyone get the hell away from Logan.” May snaps, stomping forward with a black bag with pastel paisley embroidered on it and her duck slippers.

   Virgil growls low, in the back of his throat, and not even he is sure what the sound most resembles.

   May stares at Logan and she shakes her head with a sigh, “Logan, baby, why on God’s green earth would ya decided to become target in target practice, ya mongrel!? Are ya tryin’ ta kill me early?”

   Logan stares just a little more blank than anyone would like at May’s face, “Nana-”

   “Don’t you dare start some goodbye speech.”

   And as if the moment could not get any worse, as if the universe hadn’t just done the not only unthinkable, but the also unforgivable by promising Logan chronic pain if not death, banshee shrieking starts up in the yard.

   The snarl that leaves Roman as he drags Patton into the yard is much more threatening than Virgil thinks he’s ever heard.

   “‘M sorry.” Logan rasps, a gurgle following before he swallows as hard as he can, “nd I love you, and all o’ them. Don’- d-”

   “Logan don’t you dare,” May snaps wetly, “Don’t you dare! Just hold on!”

   She sets a hand on his shoulder and starts digging through her bag hastily with the other.

   “Don’ let them be too sa-”

   “Logan, I’ll kill you if you do this.” She growls, pulling a bottle from the bag and opening it quickly before doing her level best to get it down Logan’s throat.

   Logan swallows the liquid as best he can around the lack of control over his muscles he has going on. His eyes fall to Virgil’s, trying to plead Virgil to do something. To ease the pain.

   And what Virgil wouldn’t do for those quick silver eyes.

   “Have I told you about how I love you? Well, I’ll tell you again.” Virgil’s voice starts to lessen in distortion and grows more and more alike to the moon breaching the broken ice of a pond.

   Logan’s breathing becomes more and more shallow, and even harder to keep up. His lungs rattle with every breath now, and his blood collects in his throat.

   And Virgil talks, he isn’t quite sure what he’s saying, and from the looks of it, neither is Logan. May has turned her back on them, oddly quiet.

   Then, “Vatti?”

   A small voice, a girl’s voice. Linda’s voice.

   As if shocked, Logan tries to get to see his baby one last time, figure out why she sounds so broken.

   Linda slowly steps forward, “VAtti, what- Is he-”

   “Go upstairs, Linny.” May says, voice making Virgil think on those spiky balls from the trees everyone uses around christmas, sometimes called a witch burr, but as miserable as wet socks.

   “Mamaw-”

   “Upstairs Linda Marie.”

   Linda casts a look to Logan and chokes, “Papa-”

   “He loves ya, now go upstairs.”

   “Mamaw-”

   “Now. One.”

   “But-”

   “Two, Miss Linny I’ll tan yer hide if ya make me get ta three.”

   “I love you papa,” Linda says before running upstairs to try to pray this all into some twisted, dark, horrendous nightmare.

   Virgil looks down just in time to watch the life and fight leave Logan’s eyes, and oh, that’s a rather dull look in those eyes. Isn’t it?

   “What’ll we tell Thomas?” Virgil asks after a pause of who knows how long, but more than he could bear.

   “The truth, I’d imagine.”

   “You want to tell Logan that his brother was murdered in cold blood in the middle of  faerie?” Virgil growls, then growls lower, “He was killed in the middle of my land.”

   “So he was.”

   “I have business as soon as we finish telling the others.” Virgil sneers, “Someone is going to answer for all of this.”

   May turns after a moment, “You won’t be going alone.”

   “We’ll see you hag.”

   “Shuddup.” May scoffs.

   And if the two are teary or maybe even crying, neither says anything, just this once.

   ----------

   Virgil doesn't know when Patton and Roman came in, only that he hadn’t gone to bed yet. Having instead opted to sit in Logan’s garden, out back.

   “Virgil?” Roman asks after a moment, sitting on the ground beside his husband. “Did- Was he in pain-”

   Virgil snorts, “No, he was only murdered and shot full of arrows, he wasn’t in-” Virgil promptly shuts his mouth before sighs, “I- I am sorry. That was cruel.”

   “Just- just a little, sweetie.” Patton ists on Virgil’s otherside, and Virgil isn’t sure when that happened either.

   “We have to tell the others, his parents. We have to tell Thomas,” Virgil croaks, “How are we meant to tell Thomas?”

   “Linda said she saw him.” Roman supplies, “So, uh, there’s that.”

   Virgil forces himself to look at Roman, and he nearly screams when he sees the look upon Roman’s face. Whether in protective rage or broken sobs, Virgil’s isn’t sure, so he bites it back.

   “He uh- God!” Virgil mutters something unkind under his breath about himself and words before managing, “He said we shouldn’t be sad. What the fuck does that mean?!”

   Patton gives a laugh, and the underlying tone of a glass bell breaking as it rings isn’t unnoticed by Virgil. Virgil turns his head to see Patton and that was also a bad choice. It seems Virgil is only capable of making incredibly, spectacularly horrid decisions tonight.

   “Just like him,” Roman shakes his head, setting his hands palm down on his knees and squeezing, “always so dismissive of his own worth!”

   A thick, suffocating, decidedly sharp silence settles over the three. None of them quite touch the others, but they all want to.

   To everyone’s surprise, it’s Mamaw who breaks the silence by walking into the backyard. Hands on her hips, “It’s three thirty in the morning, get yer asses in bed. This ain’t gonna be an easy recovery but we all know Logan’d have our hides if we let it tear us apart.”

   “Mamaw,” Roman croaks weakly, turning to see his grandmother, “You can’t mean-”

   “I mean what I said, Roman. Get yourselves in the house, or the faerie hill or somewhere else, but ya better sleep. We’re all going over to the Sanders house as soon as the sun comes up, because tonight’s a full moon and I am not going ta loose more o’ ya.”

   “We should go there now.” PAtton says softly, “They’ll be angry if we put it off.”

   “But-”

   “I’ll go.” Virgil pushes to his feet, eyes finding the moon, not technically full, tomorrow night it will be though.

   “Virgil-”

   Virgil turns to face the humans, his humans, “You could come, if you like. I would not blame you if you stayed though.”

   “We-”

   “You two are decidedly human, yer stayin’ right here.” May says sharply, “and Virgil will be back by breakfast.”

   “Yes, by breakfast.” Virgil says, though he isn’t sure when it is, or whether it will be this particular breakfast.

   May nods, corralling PAtton and Roman into the house, and onto the couch, because she isn’t fool enough to think they’d sleep in the bed all four shared. Three now.

   ----------

   Thomas shrieked when Virgil appeared in his bedroom, waking a worried Harley with said shriek.

   “Oh- goodness! Virgil-”

   “I didn’t mean to come to this room.” Virgil whispers softly, “I’m sorry.”

   “It’s fine, force of habit, I mean, Logan used to share this room with me and-”

   Virgil gives a choked sob at his husband’s name.

   “Is Logan sick or something?” Thomas staggers out of bed quickly, grabbing a shirt from the floor.

   “They-” Virgil shakes his head, “He’s dead. Dead, dead, dead.”

   Thomas goes silent and Harley mutters a curse word.

   “Well, I suppose we’d better go downstairs then.” Thomas sighs, shaking his head, “And, you’re sure he’s y’know, gone?”

   Virgil gives an indignant sound, “As if I didn’t watch it happen.”

   “Okay.” Thomas walks to stand by Virgil, and he just pulls the taller man into a hug, “It’ll be okay.”

   “How are you so-”

   “Calm?” Thomas gives a laugh, “I'm not awake and haven’t processed it yet, give me a bit.”

   “O-oh.”

   “I’ll go get- uh- yeah.” Harley finishes lamely, striding out of the room.

   Brian rushes into the room, “Linda’s upset, she said-”

   “I heard,” Thomas sighs, “Brian it’s threey forty ish, why’re you even awake?”

   “Had a nightmare, ‘nd I didn’t wanna bother anyone, but kitty’s always there.”

   Virgil sighs, finally wrapping Thomas up in a hug. “I’m sorry.”

   “It wasn’t your fault.”

   “You can’t know that!”

   “I do. You’d never hurt any of them, let alone kill.” Thomas says thickly, “”mon then, we’d better go tell mom and dad.”

   “I’m still sorry.”

   Virgil is led downstairs and sat on the couch, in Logan’s spot on the couch. And if that doesn't just make him want to scream, cry, or through a tantrum he isn’t sure what does.

   He is vaguely aware of voices, and a conversation happening, but he couldn’t tell you who was speaking or what was being said.

   “Virgil,” Logan’s voice insists urgently, and he knows it’s just his mind being cruel. Logan can’t be here, Logan’s gone.

   “Virgil!” Thomas says louder, setting a hand on his shoulder, “Hey bud- we uh-”

   “We- was he in pain.”

   Virgil just nods slowly, “Uh- yeah, arrows do that.”

   “He was-” Dot swallows hard.

   “Y-yeah. Well, I should go. I’m sorry I don’t uhm- I don’t wanna intrude-”

   “You can stay.” LArry offers weakly, “You’re family.”

   “I have business to attend to.” Virgil says finally, “The sooner I start the sooner the bastards that killed him are found.”

   “O-oh.”

   “Hey uhm….” Thomas sighs before he just goes for it, “You’re family Virgil, don’t disappear on us. Please. And don’t you dare disappear on your daughter and husbands.”

   “But-”

   “You better come back on friday, we’ll have a big family dinner, all the gang.”

   “But.”

   “You’ll be here.” Thomas says, “And you’ll do it.”

   “Thomas-”

   “Go home, see your husbands.” Harley says finally, “It’ll do you some good.”

   Virgil looks to Harley, startled, “But-”

   “Go.”

   ----------

   Virgil appears in the kitchen to his own house after a stop to demand Bell and white to start an investigation. It involved Bell and WHite berating him for abandoning the living husbands.

   Virgil finds Patton and Roman on the couch, tangled to gether. Tear tracks staining their faces, but their breathing deep and even, they’re asleep.

   Virgil goes about lifting them, and carrying them to the guest room, curled together and clinging to each other in his arms.

   He sets them on the bed and sits on the edge, he won’t be sleeping tonight, or maybe ever again.

   Linda stands in the doorway, “Vatti?”

   Virgil turns, he’s never been good at ignoring, let alone denying his daughter anything, especially such a thing as comfort.

   “C’mere liebling.” Virgil says gently, holding his arms out.

   Linda rushes forward, burying herself in Virgil’s arms and chest, clambering into his lap. Virgil hugs her as tight as he can while she still breathes.

   “Vatti, I- Will he come back like Gretta did?”

   “No.” Virgil says, “No.”

   “Oh. Good. But uhm…. Are you all going to leave too?”

   “No liebling.” Virgil says, “I would never leave you.”

   “But- what about daddy and pop?”

   “Oh, liebling,” Virgil hums gently, “Not on purpose. But they’re human, they’ll die eventually. You and I will still be here though.”

   “O-oh.” Linda says weakly, “But why-” she cuts off and a sob wracks her body.

   “Because liebling, life isn’t fair.” Virgil says, not quite sure what she was going to ask but knowing it wasn’t about to be pleasant.

   “I hate this.” She whispers, “It’s- it’s- it’s atrocious.”

   Virgil gives a cut off sob at her choice of words, “Oh liebling, you’ll be the smartest one in the family as you get older.”

   “Don’t wanna be the smartest, I want my papa.” She says petulantly.

   “I know.” Virgil says gently. “I know.”

   ----------

   Logan wakes up. To his surprise, in no pain and under a blue sky with those puffy white clouds. A large dog barks excitedly at him, so he pushes to his feet and tilts his head, watching the creature.

   It barks again, turning tail and running to the edge of a tree line before turning to bark once more. Ah, Logan supposes he’s meant to follow the dog?

   Logan shrugs, then laughs at himself, no one is around to see such a slip of self control after all. He follows the dog, noting the trees to be apple trees.

   As the dog leads him he finds himself wondering where his husbands are and- oh. Yes. He is dead then?

   He looks up to a startled gasp, finding a woman with inky hair and her hands on her hips.

   “Logan Sanders.” She snaps, cuffing the back of his head, “You left them?!”

   “I didn’t mean to.” Logan says, rubbing the back of his head in an attempt to soothe it, “Who are you and why did you hit me?”

   “You’re a moron, you know that?!” The woman scoffs, “Askin’ who I am, if Virgil didn’t-”

   “You’d be Gretta then.” Logan snorts, “You look better than last time I saw you.”

   “I’d hope.” She crosses her arms stiffly, glaring at Logan.

   Logan sighs, “He uhm…. Virgil misses you still. A lot, and as someone who ate your biscuit recipe product, may I just ask, do you know how spices work?”

   Greta scoffs, “If it ain’t broke ya don’t fix it! Yer insufferable.”

   Logan shakes his head, “I am sorry it was rude to say that I suppose I’ve spent too much time with Kai and Virgil.”

   “It’s fine, Logan.” Gretta shrugs, “I figure I have eternity to make you like my cooking.”

   “I see. Yes, I suppose so. But first, if I truly am dead, I think I have a snake to slap.”

   “What?”

   “I am less and less fond of the snake king every time Roman reveals another bit of past, I wish to slap the bastard out of the usurper.”

   “Oh.” Gretta blinks, a cheshire grin spreading over her lips, “Let me get Trudi and we’ll all go with ya.”

   “Very well.” Logan nods, eyes observing the people in the distance.

   “I think,” Gretta says, “This is the start of a wonderfully elaborate prank on my brother. Don’t you?”

   “Maybe.”

   “Well, c’mon, we’d better hurry up, I know Abbey’ll wanna see you. Not sure why, you aren’t nearly as pretty as Virgil was, but he wasn’t shit either.”

   Logan laughs softly, “Oh, you’re a little softer than he said-”

   Gretta cuffs the back of his head again, “Shut up ya overgrown pixie.”

   “O-oh.” Logan freezes, ‘Oh god Virgil- I left them. All of them- Thomas, my husbands, my parents, my friends.”

   “Oh, yes, crying fixes it.”

   Logan grabs Gretta’s wrist tightly, “No, you don’t get it. I left all of them, but I also left my baby. She is ten. My ten year old daughter saw me just as I was dying.”

   “Oh.” Gretta blinks, “That’s uhm- Let’s go get Abbey, she’ll be better equipped for emotions.”

   “I just want to go home!” Logan snaps, “Please?!”

   “Ya can’t, Logan. Yer here now.”

   “Thanks, I hate it.” Logan croaks, his voice cracking like thin ice over a lake, and he plunges into the darkness below.

   “Oh- ABIGAIL GAUGE!”

   “YEAH?!”

   “C’MERE WOULD YA?! LOGAN’S HERE EARLY AND HAVING A PITY PARTY AND I CAIN’T HELP ‘IM!” Gretta calls, flinching as Logan collapses into her.

   She awkwardly wraps her arms around him, patting him stiffly, “There there. Strange faerie I don’t know well who’s sobbin’ inta my shirt.”

   “Virgil used to talk like that.” Logan says miserably, “I miss him.”

   “Ah, I know, little gremlin weaves his way into your heart and then you lose him.” Gretta mutters, “C’mon Logan you can’t mean to cry forever.”

   “I might.” Logan petulantly mumbles.

   “Logan, baby, that you?” A second woman’s voice sounds, “God, you’re bigger than I remember for sure.”

   Logan turns slowly, finding a fiery redhead, “Who- Who are you?”

   “I go by Abbey,” She shrugs, “I’m Roman’s mom.”

   “Mom and dad talked about you sometimes.”

   “Ye-ah, well, I talk about them sometimes too.” Abbey holds a hand out, “C’mon baby, we’ll get you settled and calmed down, then we can go wherever you like.”

   Logan takes Abbey’s hand, flinging his arms around her, feeling an oddly deep connection he didn’t know existed with this woman who looks just enough like Roman to hurt.

   And maybe it takes Logan a while to settle, sometimes it still hurts. But he does end up slapping Durrant, multiple times, Gretta, Trudi, and Abbey also join the slapping the bastard out of Durrant party.

   Virgil sees the poor faeries who killed Logan to a public execution. But it doesn't do anything to fix the ache Logan’s loss created. He’s more protective of his loved ones, each and every one of them. Especially Linda.

   Linda who may not look like Logan, but shares in the ability to grow plants. Linda who has taken up the habit of reading herself to sleep with dictionaries. Linda, who will outlive Virgil, god willing that is.

   Patton heals slowly, they all do, but Patton lost not only his husband, but his very first friend. Patton lost the man who he did his first play date with. Patton lost a lot when Logan left them, but he healed slowly.

   Roman becomes more reckless at first, he couldn’t care less, if he dies he can see Logan again. He eventually, through therapy Emilie provides -who else?- realizes that he still has so much to live for. It gets a little easier, but Roman internalizes it, that two men he’s loved dead, what if Patton aor Virgil is next?

   Virgil, Patton, and Roman’s marriage is strained at first. They still love each other, and that would never change, but the dynamic changed. They were mourning, and breaking, and not talking about it. Again. After a year and Linda sobbing and asking if they’re going to break up and leave her too, they go to counseling, which, helps. It isn’t perfect, and they’ll alway be missing their last piece, they won’t be whole. But, they’re better, they’re marriage isn’t strained.

   Thomas withdrew from the world, only really talking to Harley and Brian. He lost his best friend in the whole world, his barley younger but still baby, brother. He lost his partner in crime, his childhood memory. Now Thomas only knows half of everything, where as before Thomas knew half of everything, so did Logan, so they knew everything.

   May got crankier. May lost another kid she’d loved to a horrible accident. Another kid she couldn’t save. May lives in the past for a while, but she knows the drill, she’s probably the best prepared.

   Dot and Larry stop going in public when avoidable. They cry together, and the gp to therapy. They lost their child, and so much more. They lost not just Logan, but almost Thomas too.

   Kai doesn't make fun of Logan anymore, he misses the nerd.

   Sloane and Corbin try to keep Thomas company when they can, but they all have lives of their own.

   Elliot spends a lot of time with Virgil, maybe they weren’t as close to Logan, but they did count him a friend.

   Remy and Emilie while they mourn and definitely are a little strained and weary, they make sure the others have groceries and therapy. They do their level best to help the others when they can.

[hardsr]

I know that ships are just for fun, but, do you think that seulgi and Irene actually feels something for each others?

honestly that’s kind of a grey area to me because on one side i wanna believe that wow seulrene are actual lesbian romantic gfs!!! but on the other side i understand that they’re real people with a long and genuine friendship that’s more than just me thinking they’re in a romantic relationship together... some days i’m more delusional than others where i think there’s a possibility that seulrene are real but even with these feelings i know that i need to separate the ship from reality. i love them together so much and i think they are absolutely perfect for each other and they were meant to be in each other’s lives but if one of them was revealed to be dating another person or if they were like yeah we’re straight or something like that i would also still be happy and supportive as well. obviously everyone wants their otp to be real but no matter what, my love for them both individually and together will grow and continue <3

[storyweaverofgondor]

Storyweaverofgondor’s Cats OC Guide

(I . . . have a lot. So this is as much for me as you guys.)

1. Bloodypaws the Assassin

Three Words: Wicked. Mysterious. Deadly.

Macavity’s lost loyal servant and hitman. a shadowy killer who is responsible for the death of Plato, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival’s mother

2. Hugo the Police Bulldog

Middle-aged English Bulldog with an educated and proper manner who is rarely impressed by anyone. and would do anything for his “Pack”

3. Mercury the Jellicle Protector.

Three Words: Disciplined. Protective. Perceptive.

The Lead Protector of the tribe before Munkustrap and Jellylorum’s older brother. He trained Munkustrap and Macavity as Protectors and was killed by Macavity.

4 and 5. Amani and Michelle

Pouncival’s human family. Interracial lesbian couple.

6. Fitzherbert the Therapy Cat

Three Words: Observant. Empathetic. Intelligent.

Nicknamed Fuzz, she lives at a human health clinic hospital and is a future therapy animal.

7. Joan Janis

Tugger’s Rocker Chick human who works at a bar and sews her own clothes.

8 and 9. Matchastache and Tandem 

His Three Words: Reserved. Curious. Sensible.

Her Three Words: Shy. Exuberant. Inquisitive.

A quiet couple of cats. Matchastache is a mostly black adult tom with marking that make it look like he has a large mustache. Tandem is pale in color and small and significantly younger then her brother. Neither likes the spotlight very much.

10. Luckypluck the Alley Cat

Her Three Words: Streetwise. Friendly. Sly.

A clever dark gold and red tabby with a friendly aura and a love of ham and cheese croissants. The homeless in her area consider her a lucky charm.

11. Loffee-Toffee the Candy Shop Cat

His Three Words: Eccentric. Professional. Lively. 

A round ginger-gold selkirk rex with a quirky and pleasant disposition.

12. Koffi the Coffee Shop Cat

Her Three Words: Snobbish, Judgemental, Lonely.

An American Curl with an obsessive love of coffee who struggles making friends.

13. Chi-isma the Chimera Cat

His Three Words: Goofy, Mystical, Wise.

A mystical cat of great power who possesses a deep and ancient wisdom. He is also the biggest goofball with a love of making silly faces.

14. Hisluna

Her Three Words: Gentle. Tragic. Hopeful.

The mother of Plato, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival and the mate of Macavity. She was killed by Bloodypaws when Plato was still a child.

15. Mintermat

Her Three Words: Ambitious. Aggressive. Aloof.

An alternate version of Plato’s mother. She is a henchcat of Macavity and was a indifferent and negligent mother. Plato left her as a child to join the Jellicle Tribe.

16. Harold the Mouse

His three words: Enterprising. Witty. Adventurous.

One of Jenny’s mice who is mute and has a passion for accounting and fashion.

17. Alexamane

Her Three Words: Intelligent. Romantic. Delusional.

An amateur sleuth who became obsessed with Bloodypaws  and was killed by him after attacking Munkustrap

[vaguebf]

im about to be on the street

You all know I hate talking about my shit on the internet.. but I don't think I have any other choice at this point.

TLDR: my name is Iz, I'm a mentally ill gay trans guy and I am going to be kicked out of my abusive home as soon as I turn 18 in December and they can make me leave. Right now, I have no way of surviving on my own.

I remade recently after my parents found my old blog. I had been trying before to keep things as calm as possible between me and my parents but after they found out I was still gay they decided to kick me out. My parents are extremely religious and intolerant. They are paranoid about me leaving the house, my mom believes that my mental illnesses stem from demon possession and that I'm evil, I have gotten into fights with both her and my father because they have put their hands on me. They've put me in mental hospitals just to punish me. They monitor me and look through my things, break my things, take my door, wont let me leave the house, ect. They talk about me like I'm the devil and an abomination. They have done so much shit that I cant even remember at this point. My house is hostile and only its getting worse as I get older. Im not allowed to see an actual therapist anymore because they don't believe any of them are actually "helping me". They threaten getting me into anti gay therapy and believe that I am a lesbian and that I am delusional and many other things about me that aren't true. My mental health is getting worse because of lack of treatment, I have no therapist to help me through my trauma, my mom controls my medicine and many times will refuse to give it to me. It is making my life a living hell to stay here every day constantly being screamed at, threatened, treated like shit and abused and I will have nowhere to go. All of my family has shunned me. The few friends I have live hours away. A plane ticket would cost upwards of 300 dollars. I would rather kill myself than live on the street or in a shelter as a gay trans man. I can't make myself appear as a girl because of the way I look and people already know me here. There is no support in my town for trans people and I am terrified and paranoid to be out there alone especially with the anti trans hate I see going around because of Trump. I would try to work but in the past no one has even wanted to hire me because of the way I look. I live in an extremely conservative area and on top of that I'm disabled, and I have been waiting to see if I can get on disability.

ANYTHING, ANYTHING HELPS! I CANT LIVE ON THE STREET AND I CANT LIVE HERE. IM TERRIFIED AND I WANT TO GET TO A FRIENDS HOUSE OR AT LEAST AFFORD A HOTEL AND FOOD OR TO RENT A ROOM HERE WHILE I WAIT FOR MY SSI APPLICATION TO GO THROUGH. I only have until next month but I will try to save as long as possible.. Im trying to sell my things without my parents noticing.

My paypal is: paypal.me/vaguebf or the email is izzybreathesfire@gmail.com (old email) whichever works better. Please reblog this post and spread it around, I have no one to help me and I need to get the fuck out of here and get help.

[korilikesthenamedavvy]

When you really want to make out with the beautiful goddess you found by the cove, but Covid-19 is happening and that useless lesbian didn’t cover her nose so she could be infected, but she’s still the only lesbian in your area that you haven’t dated or that has dated your ex so you deeply consider if it’s worth it and you wonder if you can just eye fuck the want from you but it’s still there and now you’re picturing domestic bliss in a little cottage and really you’ve always had a good immune system so a little virus shouldn’t hurt as long as you avoid your grandparents and hey, maybe this is already a fever dream and you’ve been lying on your death bed for months now or maybe you’re delusional from quarantine and now you’re wondering if you can telepathically tell her to kiss you so you don’t worry about taking the first step but you’re both useless lesbians to the twelfth degree and now you-

(2 days later)

-but what if your kids did want to do ballet instead of gymnastics and you never get over how she named the dog after the absolute worst character from Supergirl and-

(4 weeks later)

-but should it really matter what color you let her pick out for curtains in the foyer of the cottage before the grandkids visit or should you let her have her way cause you want to keep her happy because she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and-

(After quarantine ends and one of the lesbians finally makes a move and there’s like 5 hours of crying and kissing and discussing how you’ve both always liked the other but didn’t want to fuck things up or seem like a predator and of course she will move in with you and-)

(Because wlw deserve happy endings, also I’m having a rough quarantine night and I still can’t bring myself to watch this and I thought this was funny and cute so here you go)

[dansenfans]

From Dansen fans admin.

This is a collaborative reaction to some (not all as we would be here forever and a day trying to write it down) of our problems with the current storylines on Supergirl. Before we get into that, a word on who helps run the account. We are a varied set of users, but all recognize the importance of Dansen, but also Brainia as representation that not only helps other LGBTQ people - it undoubtedly has saved a life somewhere simply because someone sees themselves represented onscreen. Do not think for a second this is an exaggeration or untrue. The representation is that important and needed. LGBTQ representation is far more than just having a character on TV. It gives those who are marginalized a voice. It gives that child growing up in a hostile environment simply for being LGBTQ hope that their life can be okay. That they aren't a freak. Or they have sinned.

We are from within the LGBTQ community, white, POC and from the heterosexual community (as an ally). So these comments are from a diverse set of people. We all love different characters and even multi-ship in some cases. What we all have in common is a love of Dansen.

What we all also have in common is our absolute horror in not only how the current LGBTQ characters are being used, but how relationships are suffering for it. 

Even away from Dansen we are finding the current overall arc of the story extremely difficult, because there is now such a disconnect from characters and friendships.

Let's tackle the LGBTQ and Dansen problem first. 

William has as much presence as a tree stump. There is something called the potted plant test, and that basically means, if a character can be replaced by a potted plant in scenes and not be missed, they don't need to be there. William is that plotted plant. So many of his scenes could easily have been done by Nia (who is a journalist after all) or Kelly (who we still don't know if she knows Kara is Supergirl, which under the circumstances is utterly laughable).

There is also something in the screenwriting industry that is writing 101, and by all accounts (according to a screenwriter a couple of us know, and no they aren't in the Supergirl fandom, SM or watch Supergirl), “Show us, don’t tell us why this relationship or friendship should work," is what you should have at the forefront of anything you write.

In other words, if fans are being told, or characters get continually told by those around them why they should be in a relationship, it isn't working.

The premise is pretty simple. You outline you want your character to have a love interest. You indicate who that LI might be. You get casting sorted, have chemistry reads. Consider the way in how they get together to fit the bigger narrative. What you don't do is tie it down that this is the way you have to go, regardless of what the story calls for. If after a few episodes, the chemistry onscreen between a character and someone completely different to the LI you had in mind is so obvious, so powerful, you adjust. You don't try to force the original LI into that scenario. If you then have to justify that LI (in Supergirl's case by having those around continually tell her she should go for a date with William, when she looks nothing but awkward and the chemistry is flat), then you fail on this basic writing point. If you ignore what a lot of fans, media and casual observers see elsewhere, you fail at the job of being a good storyteller. 

Supergirl has done both.

Ah but now we head into that territory of Supercorp. Look, we don't ask that people like Supercorp. This truly isn't about that. We aren't a Supercorp account. What it is about is the groundswell of fans who have increasingly seen a crackling connection between Kara and Lena, who had either of these characters been male, would've had them together by now. There are so many direct parallels to other couples, not just on Supergirl but elsewhere (particularly Clois, which fans have plenty of examples about if you look).

But this season, Supergirl took it a step further. The romantic coding that went on in 5a, that had direct parallels to the canon couple (Dansen) on the show to bait fans into watching (and yes it was queerbaiting if they didn't intend to make it romantic because that is exactly what queerbaiting is, and Supergirl has queerbaited now in the worst ways possible) is inexcusable. When you have media outlets, blogs, even non Supergirl fans see this and talk about it (each of us here has someone who isn't a Supergirl fan, but knowing there is a lesbian couple on the show assume Kara and Lena are that couple if they've caught sight of clips) then you have a problem, even if you don't acknowledge it. 

The latest hypocrisy of all this is how some fans have tripped over themselves to say how lovely, how romantic it was of William to remember Kara's coffee order, yet scream down other fans who said the same thing as Kara not only got Lena her favourite coffee and food - she flew across the world to achieve that, at a time Kara fully believed the friendship was fixed. To have fans called delusional for it is preposterous. You cannot do that. You simply can't, and this is a prime reason so many fans get angry and upset. 

Aside from that, the overtones of why William did the coffee run, it was actually more on the creepy side than friendship side. He even acknowledged his behaviour, with the coffee, the texts and the compliments was overstepping and not respecting Kara by his actions. Some say that's self awareness and bravo. We all argue it is borderline abusive.  If your self awareness is such you know your behavior is wrong, and you do nothing to stop or correct that behavior and carry on, then those are nothing more than platitudes. There are examples of people who have been triggered by 5.14 and Williams' actions, and citing why that has occurred as IPV survivors. Melissa is a IPV survivor and if others have been affected by this, we truly worry Melissa has been too, although we sincerely hope that isn't the case. Is that what you want as a fan, even if it is only a possibility with Melissa? Because we definitely don't. No fan should have been triggered from a character like that.

The 100th episode basically turned around and told Kara that she and Lena's destiny was so entwined, that they couldn't live without each other, or they would die for the other. Platonic or not, that is soulmate status. As for best friends? Those of us who are married are all married to our best friend. So many people, whether gay, straight, everywhere in between, say a spouse is their best friend. For anyone saying a best friend doesn't mean they're in love with that person is the worst take, as most of the time the best friend is the partner or spouse. William has barely been in the friend zone, let alone best friend zone. 

As for how William is impacting on the LGBTQ and current cast, there is no doubt he is in an extremely negative way. To the degree that Dansen has suffered significantly. Sure we had an emotional scene in 5.07, but we are now at 5.14, so a further 7 episodes in, and we barely have minutes worth of Dansen onscreen time. Last episode was less than a full minute total Dansen time and that's the best it's been in weeks.

Less than a minute! It was approximately 45 seconds for the first scene. 7 seconds (yes you read that correctly 7 seconds) on the second scene.

So this means that while we got nice character development beginning in S4, and to some degree early in 5a, we have had nothing on any note in regards Dansen all season, or Kelly throughout the entire season so far.

This means that we got invested in these characters, we were promised it would develop as S5 went on, to have this thrown at us as the best they can do? Any intimacy has been pretty much nonexistent, (we had more from Sanvers), and we get told that what they have given us we should be grateful for. No-one deserves that sort of disdain as fans. Yet we get told by others that Kara deserves a relationship with William? Save us the hypocrisy. 

No-one here is saying Kara doesn't deserve a relationship, but at the expense of others? Lead of the show or not, that is an awful take. Particularly when we have a fundamental relationship with her and Lena, even if it isn't romantic. 

If you cannot find balance as a writer to incorporate all of these things, then you aren't doing a good job of it at all. Azie in particular has been given the shittest end of the stick possible. Chyler hasn't faired much better. It is making Dansen now appear forced and lacking depth, and that's even allowing for the build up they gave us in S4. Kelly is a Black Lesbian, is highly educated, has (by all accounts) a loving solid relationship with another woman. All aspects we should be highlighting and applauding. Instead, here we are having to write at length some of what is so wrong for us.

Moving on to another area that was problematic. To have Alex discuss technical details as Kelly arrived in regard her work at Obsidian North, but to hear Kara say to Kelly, "She has never said words like that." 

Now this line could have been in jest, but it didn't feel like that, and considering Alex has a PhD in bioengineering, Alex is also an expert in alien physiology, and has used this knowledge in multiple D.E.O. operations. Alex was able to successfully create Blue Kryptonite to incapacitate Bizarro and working with Maxwell Lord, synthesized a cure for Red Kryptonite. She is also an accomplished neuroscientist and xenobiologist. Alex herself stated she could've had a promising medical career as a researcher had she not decided to work at the D.E.O. instead - and now you are saying Alex would never use that kind of language? Come on! That's so unrealistic it would be laughable if it wasn't so awful.

If you are a show who claims to be at the forefront of LGBTQ representation, who claim to be about female empowerment, you are giving us neither of those things. Someone else wrote this (taken with permission from Buddha in disguise on Tumblr).

"It seems we shouldn't ask for justification as to why William is on the show, but when we say the LGBTQ characters are being sidelined, that it doesn't matter one jot how diverse a cast can be; if said cast are not being given credible storylines or screentime, and if we say as much, we have to continually justify why that is the case. We get told to take what we are given. To insist on better, is oppressing the straight characters on the show, often said by CIS men (in some cases CIS women have argued the same). This isn't oppressing anyone, but asking that if we get given relationships, given characters we want to invest in, they get the storylines to accomplish that. Supergirl is failing the LGBTQ audience so badly at the moment. So many have the same complaints it is ludicrous to suggest this is just one section of a fandom or trolls."

The show is floundering. Winn got a more complete arc and closure in two episodes than anyone else so far on the show this season. We might have had 3 or 4 great episodes out of 14 of the 20 so far this season. The rest have been mediocre at best, with no obvious cohesive plot or storytelling. 

It is crazy that a Superhero show, that effectively has the freedom to pull in ideas from multiple sources with unique interesting takes that allows, has made it so boring, so full of drudgery that people are starting to turn off in droves. A fandom boycott isn't enough for such poor ratings on some episodes. Having moments in an episode that are good, possibly great, when the rest around it is so poor is destined to fail. 5.14 was another example of that. The moments that were good were enjoyable but the rest was so bad, it is harder to enjoy those good points. To even remember them.

Batwoman and Legends of Tomorrow have both done this far better of late (even if Legends have been a bit problematic with Zari), and the POC and the LGBTQ side of the stories have primarily been handled well. Batwoman in particular has just done an amazing storyline with Sophie Moore. The interesting thing is, a lot of people found Sophie hard to like to begin with. Many thought Kate Kane was better off without her. What changed all that was they gave Sophie an in depth, credible backstory and the chemistry between them grew organically. Fans could see the connection and increasingly yearned for it. They have also just tackled homophobia in families, particularly for POC. All without taking away from other essential elements of the storytelling. Supergirl take note; this is how you write a show that is integrated without hurting either the POC & LGBTQ characters or CIS straight characters. 

Now let's just broach the disconnect with characters and friendships. 

Because of the fracturing of friendships and relationships has been so extreme (virtually every one has lost all or most of what we had in previous seasons), we have lost core elements of the show. Of course the most obvious is Kara and Lena, but it extends far beyond that.

Alex and Brainy. Brainy and Lena. Brainy and Nia (Brainia is groundbreaking representation for transgender people to show they too can have relationships, but no, we can't even have that). Kelly and Kara (early S5 suggested Kara and Kelly were close enough friends now to talk about presents for Alex). Alex and Lena. 

Alex, Lena and Kara, which in the last two seasons have been the powerhouse behind them defeating whatever was going on around them as a team, but still allowing Kara to shine as the Superhero.

All these intricate relationships have gone. Instead we are faced with pairings that feel uncomfortable and awkward as a viewer, so the crux of what made Supergirl work has been lost. We are suddenly expected to be able to feel emphatic and understand completely unheard of pairings when we know nothing about them under those circumstances. Strangely enough, the one new pairing they have achieved this with is Andrea and Lena, because we got a fully fleshed out background, that also helped explain some of Lena's behavior today. The rest feels chaotic, and so far into the season that feeling of chaos should be going the other way. Instead it's increasing.

As we wrote this, the latest media outlet to highlight some of the problems the last episode faced came out.

It might not be a big article or have any real depth, but when The Radio Times wades in, you are beginning to lose serious credibility in media circles. The Radio Times is not some 2 bit media blog that you can laugh off or blame a fandom for.

5.15 promises to have better LGBTQ content, and is tackling a subject that Nicole herself became involved in with the writers. This gives us higher hope it is a better episode overall. We also know Kelly and Alex work together with J'onn, and while it would be great to see them partner up onscreen, we would actually really like just softer Dansen at home moments. We hope it incorporates both, but honestly the way this season has gone we aren't holding out much hope on that.

Last of all. We have seen several people tout that the plot twist is William in fact becomes a villain. None of us like the idea that another POC becomes a villain, but if by seasons end it occurred and so explained his presence (as a tool or high up member for Leviathan for example,) then at least that would give us something solid. But again, to do all this at the expense of all other characters is not what you want to see. Nor do any of us wish to see another POC get killed off if this happens as is being suggested. We would all rather William just disappears back to London to The Times. 

The last thing any of us wanted was to be writing this, but collectively our patience has run out. Our disappointment is acute. 

While we try to avoid mistakes and edit this, none of us are writers so please forgive any glaring errors you find.

[nerdygaymormon]

A response to Ed Smart is gay

Elizabeth Smart became well known because she was kidnapped from her home, raped & forced to live as if married to her kidnapper, and rescued. She helped educate the church against dangerous ways against teaching the Law of Chastity, like being a piece of chewed gum, because those very lessons made her feel she was worthless because she’d been raped and no one would want her. 

Ed Smart is her father. While I understand that he’s been out to his family and to others for several years, he wrote a Facebook post to extended family & friends to come out to them. Because of who his daughter is, his coming out has been reported in the Utah newspapers. 

Nathan Kitchen is the president of Affirmation. He wrote a response that I’m sharing below.

———————————————————————

I have remained silent about the Ed Smart article first published in the Deseret News, because frankly, a person’s sexuality is not newsworthy. It is modern-day voyeurism at its worst to gawk at the gay guy making a hard pivot in life. Just because we all got to know the Smarts during their intense publicity surrounding the kidnapping of their daughter, that doesn’t bestow upon us the right of familiarity with the Smart family.

The Smarts deserve their privacy as they make difficult decisions together. There are no sides here. Only a family trying to make sense of decisions made on the best information they had decades ago. Make no mistake about it, I want to be perfectly clear: both Ed AND Lois Smart are victims of homophobia. It is a deep homophobia etched into the very genetics of society and our institutions.

What we need to do, instead of focusing on a sensational story, is instead laser focus on the prejudices and misconceptions about sexual orientation, gender identity and expression. Eliminating those prejudices and misconceptions is in everyone’s interest. Eliminating homophobia and transphobia is not only essential for the health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, it is essential for the health and well-being of institutions, society, and culture at large.

However, I do think this entire situation brings up a very valid point that is game to talk about.

Ed expressed that in this coming out “the church is not a place where I find solace any longer.” I affirm Ed’s personal feelings on the matter. This reflects his experience and I will never qualify, question, or deny the experiences of any of my LGBTQ+ siblings. This statement does us all a favor by starting a conversation. It invites deep reflection and a hard look at ourselves as members and former members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, both LGBTQ+ and non-LGBTQ+ individuals: Is the church a safe place for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families?

For decades this kind of question was addressed from a very straight-centric perspective, stemming from the overarching premise “What does the Church think about LGBTQ+ people?” Hence over time we received lots of clues about what the Church thought about LGBTQ+ people. From the book “The Miracle of Forgiveness” to today’s Mormon and gay website, the standards of the church concerning LGBTQ+ individuals have been delivered to the members in a constant parade of books, talks, websites, and policies. The problem with this overarching premise is that straight people change their views of LGBTQ+ individuals when they get to know them. So this constant parade of church missives and policies change year, after year, after year as stereotypes are erased and the general population becomes educated concerning LGBTQ+ issues.

As the new civil rights movement continues forward, this continual changing perspective of “What the Church thinks” has become a moving target and tiresome to chase. It has given way to a new LGBTQ+ centric perspective: “What do LGBTQ+ people think about the Church?” This is the healthiest of all premises for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. It is from this vantage point that we should all approach the question “Is the Church a safe place for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families?”

From an LGBTQ+ centric position concerning safety in the church, we must first acknowledge that there is a “rainbow stained-glass ceiling” in the church. This boundary specifically is marriage equality and the self-determination of gender identity by transitioning. It is the bright line set in doctrine and policy. You bump up against this ceiling when you marry someone of your same sex or transition.

If someone were to honestly ask what could make the church safer and welcoming for LGBTQ+ people, the honest answer would be to affirm marriage equality and self-determination of gender identity. However, ultimately this is an organizational revelation issue in the church. This falls squarely to the Brethren to be responsible for deliberation, inquiring, and delivering a doctrinal change. If there is one thing church history can teach us, it is that it will drive one mad to lobby the Brethren about anything.

So as the Brethren take up the question about what to do with LGBTQ+ members, we all can continue to work together to eliminate homophobia and transphobia in our sphere of influence. And we can do this in very LGBTQ+ centric ways.

Everyone understands that the “rainbow stained-glass ceiling” is there. So when we approach the question “Is the church is safe for LGBTQ+ people?” we need to honor LGBTQ+ people in their personal perspectives of what they themselves think about the church.

We cannot make a blanket statement that the church is not safe for LGBTQ+ people. This denies the self-determination of our LGBTQ+ siblings and erases their perspective. Conversely, we cannot make a blanket statement that the church is safe for LGBTQ+ people because that too erases lived experiences.

When you look at the entire spectrum of LGBTQ+ people in the church or those identifying that they are in the church, you will find LGBTQ+ people who find solace, safety, community, and peace. They have answered for themselves the question “What do I think about the church?” They are not self-loathing, they are not delusional, and they are choosing to live in ways that are empowering to them as an LGBTQ+ individual. It costs us nothing to affirm them in their answer in how they choose to access spirituality and community.

There are also LGBTQ+ people who experience conflict, trauma, suicidal ideation, and rejection at their intersection with the Faith. When they answer the question for themselves about what they think about the church, they do not see it as a safe place to be. They are not weak, lacking in faith, offended, or sinners to step away or leave the church. They are choosing to live in ways that are empowering and healthy for them. I would say that it costs us nothing to affirm their choices to step away or leave, but in reality it does cost. It costs the Church their best and most talented humans in a devastating resource drain from the church.

The thing that people get wrong about LGBTQ+ self-determination is that choices made by self-determination are eternal and unchanging. On the contrary, LGBTQ+ people have the right to change their answer to “What do I think about the Church?” at any time. There is fluidity to the answer, depending on so many individual factors. For example an LGBTQ+ person may find safety in the church until they bump up against the rainbow stained-glass ceiling when they marry someone of the same sex or transition. Others go the opposite direction, and after many years away from the church, they return.

People often get so caught up in a Mormon/Ex-Mormon argument loop about other’s choices concerning the church that it obscures the self-determination of the LGBTQ+ individual. There is not one “correct” way to LGBTQ+. The choice of the LGBTQ+ individual trumps all other judgements of other people.

The new frame of reference for us all is to be LGBTQ+ centric and affirm the very personal answer that an LGBTQ+ person has for themselves about what they think about the church. Anything else is just generic religious proselytizing for or against the church.

So from an LGBTQ+ centric position, knowing the rainbow stained-glass ceiling is firmly in place until the Brethren remove it, what can be done right now to make the church safer and more welcoming for LGBTQ+ individuals who answer for themselves that they want to be there? I have four ideas that can be implemented right now with no doctrinal or revelatory changes. I hope you share even more in the comments section.

1. Have uniform treatment of the LGBTQ+ community church-wide. It is no secret that transgender individuals are treated with the most extreme inequality from ward to ward and stake to stake in issues such as excommunication upon transitioning, attendance of second hour classes, speaking in church, and holding a calling. There is also geographical disparity concerning the management of same sex couples who legally marry. Bishops and Stake Presidents vary widely on youth LGB Issues such as handholding, dating, and even kissing.

It would take almost no effort to find the areas in the church where outreach and the welcoming of LGBTQ+ individuals and their families is occurring and universally train leaders across the church using models already utilized in some of the stakes in Zion. End local leadership roulette for the LGBTQ. We live in the age of the internet. LGBTQ+ individuals are highly aware of this inconsistency and it is troubling.

2. Increase transgender care and education. Much ignorance and transphobia abounds concerning the transgender community in the church. It feels that not much has changed in the understanding of transgender individuals since Dalin H. Oaks made a 2015 statement during a press conference that “while we have been acquainted with lesbians and homosexuals for some time, being acquainted with the unique problems of a transgender situation is something we have not had so much experience with, and we have some unfinished business in teaching on that.”

Simple things such as learning basic trans terminology, using someone’s correct name and pronouns, and changing someone’s name on church records when they have legally changed their name in the courts starts to make a dent in the care of transgender individuals and their families. (Also see #1 above.) We all can and need to be allies for our transgender siblings.

3. Stop the excommunications and church discipline for those who marry someone of the same sex or transition. Just call a moratorium on this spiritual act of violence while everyone is working out the unfinished business. Getting rid of LGBTQ+ people through church discipline reminds me of the harmful words of BYU President Ernest Wilkinson who in 1965 told the BYU student body that BYU did not intend to admit any homosexuals, but if there happened to be a homosexual among the student body, “I suggest that you leave the university immediately after this assembly; and if you are honest enough to let us know the reason, we will voluntarily refund your tuition. We do want others on this campus to be contaminated by your presence.”

LGBTQ+ individuals do not contaminate wards or stakes, they bless wards and stakes. They do not contaminate the children or the youth. The threat of excommunication and discipline creates an environment of fear and anxiety. It makes it unsafe for LGBTQ+ members to come and worship. Take this off the table to immediately make the church safer for LGBTQ+ people. Oh, and take off the asterisk on LGBTQ+ member records that were placed solely to identify that person as being a member of the LGBTQ+ community. That is immoral and wrong.

4. Take the time to talk to and really listen to LGBTQ+ individuals…both members and those who are not members of the church. Do not just seek out those who make you feel comfortable because they are Mormonormative and are like you. See those in the LGBTQ+ community who are not mormonandgay dot org approved gays and lesbians. And for heaven’s sake, stop seeking out the celebrity LGBTQ+ Mormons.

Look for and find the depth and breadth of the diverse and vibrant LGBTQ+ community. Build a relationship and maybe you will be trusted to hear some of the most powerful human stories. Find out what is important to these friends. Find out what hurts them. Listen and do not lecture or give advice. As a guest to their story you will learn of humanity in ways that sacredly expand your view of God and what it means to love one another. Then when they tell you their answer to the question, “What do I think about the church?” you will understand what you can do better to support the LGBTQ+ individual in their self-determination in this very mortal experience to find and have joy.

If you are really interested in making the church safer and more welcoming for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, root each of your actions in the premise that your efforts in eliminating prejudices and misconceptions about sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression will have a profound positive impact for good for everyone. Everyone. You do not need anyone’s permission to start. You do not need anyone’s permission to love.