#(also damn my very weird brain)
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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idk why but I was thinking about how incredibly fun it is to be a dan and phil enjoyer at the moment and then I suddenly started thinking about how Phil almost died in June like... he really almost died it just suddenly hit me that we could be living in a very different reality right now. idk why my brain does this. every time I'm happy about something my brain goes "oh but what if things had been different. what makes you think you deserve for things to work out fine?" and I'm trying to live by Phil's mantra of choosing not to take any personal trauma from it but I'm kinda spiraling all of a sudden. I remember seeing a post a while ago about how dan could've been planning a funeral instead of a tour and that shit fucked me up so bad I'm gonna fucking cry this is like genuinely upsetting me ... I need to watch the video again and especially the part where dan is like "but if we didn't decide to go to hospital..." and then Phil is like "but we DID and it was FINE 🤫😛" I'm so parasocially invested in these people it's so fucked. anyway can I get uhhhhh quarter pounder and medium fries. ketchup is fine. no drink thanks I have water :)
#i have this sometimes when I'm talking to my dad who also had a VERY close call a few years ago#and he spent a long time in and out of intensive care where it wasn't clear if things would work out or not#and my brain will be like “you didn't deserve a second chance” or some shit like ok edgelord 💀#as in like my brain will tell me i didn't deserve a second chance to get along better with my dad. sorry my wording was kinda weird there#but i think that's probably where this comes from lmao#the hospital gave us pamphlets about the fact that a lot of people find this shit genuinely traumatic and to seek help if needed#and i was just like damn that's crazy. I'm different stay safe tho. and now my brain is broken 😭 what's wrong with me
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i despise Uncomfortable Realisations so much. there better be chocolate in the house or smth ugh
#a biscuit's rambles#was at a party and uhhhhhh. well. it wasnt. very fun#i mean ive been stressed for ages and i didnt manage to get into the mood before anything even happened so that does make a difference ofc#but i also did retreat outside for some space n air n good music and uh.#yeah. i was gone for a full hour and no one ever noticed i even left. kinda. depressing#also so many of my friends are picking up so many unhealthy habits and its terrifying yay#its not my job nor my ability to save them i cant do more than offer some help but damn that does hurt#but like. cant wait to get out of here anyway. i need to meet people who actually have similarities with me#i cant connect to any of them including my best friends and its getting more and more obvious#well. to me. idk how much they even notice of me lol#But on the bright side that one alt place for teens Exists so ill go there soon and see if i meet anyone there#anyone who like. gets me a little. or at least listens to what i consider actually good music#god the music at that party was so incredibly awful#and i dont drink and my brain didnt manage to detach into a Silly State close to being slightly drunk so i got the full force of it lmao#anywayyyyy#my mum is working with me to possible get a diagnosis of what my brain weirdness even is so! yay for that!
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New dream OCs drop (Patreon)
#Doodles#Dream Log#Original#Been a while! I always appreciate when my subconscious mind drops non-human humanoids on me lol#This case is was an older gay couple of like? they looked pretty normal generally but they had a specific feature lol#That when they blushed rather than their skin changing colour their fur would fluff out over their whole body haha#It was very fast! Kinda like Mystique's scale-fur? But only with blushing and then when they calmed down their fur would retract haha#One of the couple was way easier to fluster than the other tho haha so I really only saw it on him#I get the feeling it was also kind of GOmens inspired - specifically Aziraphale which is still so weird to me because I haven't seen??#Or read anything GOmens?? Why brain#Smol was picking on me the other day while we were making Picrews together that I was basically just making a Crowley as well like damn!#Brain why#Anyway lol#These two had that very settled-in married feel of lightly picking on each other out of love haha#The more chill of the two liked to fluster his husband and in return he would lightly poke at him for his old-fashion fashion haha#Which of course he offered as well! Also in play! It was cute#I think they both had blue fur and light skin hmm - you can see the little whispies on ascot lol that was the main different feature#They were chunky and defied gravity like that too! It's gotten fuzzy to recall now but I'm certain of that#How silly
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What do you think about the lack of importance Edenia have in the last (and probably in the upcoming too) games?
Seriously, it makes me really Sad. Edenia was so important in the first timeline. What the hell happened? Only a few characteres mention this realm in MKX
It sucks. Big time
If you'll note, basically none of the realms matter anymore, aside from Earthrealm and Outworld.
Sure, the Netherrealm exists, but that's pretty much it. Dreamrealm is of dubious canonicity (introduced to explain Freddy Krueger as a guest fighter, then used to explain Tremor's glow up. Given he isn't shown in the storyline and arcade endings aren't canon in that game, I don't feel comfortable saying "yeah. That's important to the story"), and means nothing to the plot.
Chaosrealm and Orderrealm also don't show up despite being neat concepts.
What I'm getting at is that it makes the MK universe feel small. Edenia is only part of the problem, but I think it's a good example. Mortal Kombat feels more focused on nostalgia bait, Realistic Graphics, and more grisly Kombat than being, y'know, Mortal Kombat. None of that is necessarily Bad, but it's making it feel a little generic to me.
Maybe it's my bias and nostalgia, but that's just wrong. I'm not saying they need to bloat the worldbuilding, that would suck too. I'm just saying that they have these fun concepts, could they PLEASE do something with them???
Not to be the "they changed it, and now it sucks" guy, but I really love the original timeline's absurd worldbuilding. That's a major draw for me. Not only is it absurd, but it was constantly rolling and acquiring new and interesting bullshit. To me, that gave it a personality.
The original timeline feels like you took Enter the Dragon, the Matrix, Magic the Gathering, and classic slasher films, mixed it all up, then used it to bread and batter the gameplay. Deepfry that sonuvabitch until golden brown and serve it hot. Its the fried fish and hush puppies of gaming. I wouldn't say that it's Good For Me, but it's fucking delicious.
Its also not widely palatable and, just as Long John Silver's isn't exactly a big name restaurant, MK was kinda in a slump for a while, profit wise.
I think what happened is they cut back the weirder shit in order to make the games more popular. Its a chicken tender now. Not bad, but it's more of a "I'll take it if there's nothing better/nothing else I feel comfy eating" dish. Still not Good For Me, but often dressed up to seem healthier. By which I mean "able to be taken seriously by more people." The worldbuilding is more Serious ™️, so is the Gameplay. Don't get me started on the State Of The art Graphics.
Its all done this way for profit reasons. I don't doubt that folks on the team are still passionate about the games, but you can't forget that NRS is owned by a bigger company than Midway was. There's more executive meddling, so we see less of the more niche worldbuilding elements like Edenia
#gopher rambles#mortal kombat#To be clear; of the NRS games I've only played MKX. I have 11 but a few things#(game design; character design changes; plot stuff I know about through the fandom) have put me off it.#So just be aware that I'm not working with full knowledge of the whole sitch#also im very tired and this is more of a brain dump answer than anything. sorry dude#if you want me to clarify any of my thoughts let me know. im sure some of this is word salad.#long post#oof. damn sory for the rant. i just. have a lot of feelings about this whole deal. asking me about how i feel about an aspect#of the original timeline is a surefire way to make me ramble about shit i miss. I MISS THE WEIRDNESS. WEIRD SHIT WHERE FID YOU DO I MISS YOU#BABY COME BACK. EDENIA. CHAOSREALM. KENSHIS STUPID BABOON ASS AND RED CROTCH COMBO.#YOU WERE ALL SO SILLY WHAT HAPPENED#*fukin sobs* where did the time go?#im so sleepy. voodnight
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Does anyone have any food habits that’s literally make no fucking sense?
So like its 2 am and my brain has been thinking about this for a while and honestly I feel so bad for my mom, because I know she was right (for once) about certain things that involved food with me growing up.
This turned into me ranting about food.
Like I know that no matter how you cut your toast/sandwich it will taste the same but god damn the triangle cut is the right way. It just tastes wrong when it’s a rectangle or in any other form. (Though with peanut butter sandwiches, crustables are an acceptation)
I also know that Spaghetti sauce that is mixed in with the pasta is exactly the same as it just being place on top of the pasta. But god damn it my brain won’t allow me to eat it if it’s mixed. (Acceptation being when it’s left overs)
Pizza is pizza but circle pizza is superior to sheet pizza fucking fight me
Strawberry Cake pops will and always taste better then regular strawberry cake. (It’s the exact fucking thing different form, and I hate Starbucks cake pops)
Relish is basically pickles but if you even think about bringing that shit near me I will deck you (I love pickles)
Mashed potatoes taste the same whether you mix them with a mixer or not. But, god damn I want them mixed with a mixer even though most times the texture is the same along with flavor.
You can not simply just fucking bake fries and get away with it, they are named fries for a reason so fucking fry them 😡 (for me, I know some people can’t handle grease)
Bananas are bananas but none of them ever taste the same. I know it has to do something with ripeness but for the love of god ice cream shops have the best ones, but if I bite into one and it doesn’t taste right I’m spitting it out.
Trail mixes taste the same whether you eat them randomly or pick and organize all of them and then eat all of the m&m’s first. (Does this stop me from separating it, no)
Anything with coconut can die
Turkey sucks ass on thanksgiving, or the first day it is cooked. It is far superior as left overs even though it’s exactly the same thing.
Eggs are wacky as fuck, scrambled eggs taste amazing and are good for the first two bites and then after it’s immediate regret.
All of Mcdonalds chicken nuggets are the same, but each shape tastes different to me (I worked at Mcdonalds and have cooked and seen with my own eyes that they are all the same)
Anything with the name casserole in it was created from satans balls and deserves to go into purgatory or be force fed to bigots as punishment.
Shepards pie can not be made with cream corn, it just can’t has to be made with regular
Frosting is overrated
Mac and Cheese has to be creamy, for the love of god don’t bake it. (It tastes the same but oh my god)
I can’t eat something sweet with out having something salty after words it’s becoming a problem because there is nothing salty enough in my place
Fruity Pebbles are far superior then coco pebbles
Cheerios are just the boring straight version of fruit loops (spoiler alert no cereal is healthy) ((I could be wrong don’t quote me))
I don’t trust Squash
Pumpkins are overrated but cookies are okay
Banana bread isn’t good without chocolate chips
Also salads aren’t made the same, they have to be at room temp and not wet for me to eat it.
I don’t even know where I went for some of this, I just blacked out and typed 👁️👄👁️ but does anyone else have a weird thing with food? Another one I have is I can’t drink from a can without tapping the top first.
#like I have so many food rants#I know that half of these just don’t make sense#like the shape of something#it just doesn’t make sense#food rants#like I have so many things that bug me#like I will hyperdixate on a certain food for two weeks and then not be able to eat it for a long time#I can’t eat food because most times I’m just not interested unless I’m hyper fixated on one#I have eaten so many chicken pot pies#also everything tastes better when I cook it#I’m tempted to go get diagnosed because the unable to eat unless I’m interested is becoming a issue#also I’m a very judge mental person when it comes to food#not of what people mix together#like you do you#but I’m judging if you are trying to cook it for me#I can’t change my food up#like a hamburger must stay a hamburger for the love of god don’t make a casserole from it#like don’t gas light me I know damn well my grandma didn’t put that into that one dish#my brain is weird#is this normal?#imma pretend it is#I am so sorry to everyone who is following me for steddie stuff#but this is important business
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anyone else w gender weirdness ever just sit back and be like damn. Would b so so easy if I was just a girl
#personal#i love being trans this post is not about that.#but its hard brooo :/ fitting into a binary society when u are not that. yuck#i was very good at being a girl. i was very pretty and popular as one#but im so far past it now that the idea of ever fully committing to it again? even yuckier#i am pretty bad at being a boy. but i do it because while it isn't Me necessarily its much closer than girl is#and i find it easier at least at this point than to be a floaty genderless whatever i am. if that makes sense#but damn. if i could still find even an ounce of comfort in womanhood? it would be so convenient#i was GOOD at that shit. and it's so easy to be stylish in stereotypically girl clothes#it would be easy to be a stylish man if it didnt make me dysphoric and also less likely to pass#considering ive done zero physical transitioning. anyways#does any of this make sense#does anyone care? does it matter?#pls just like this if u read this far. just so im not shouting into the void#i am ok btw just pondering my reality. typical#early twenties brain is weird. i feel my neurons connecting and forming fully fledged pathways and -#-im just eating fruity pebbles about it
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it's super fun when the only thing you're interested in painting is people, especially their faces, while also being weirdly afraid of people staring at you/faces that are obscured somehow or.. something like that
at first it's all good, then the face becomes recognisable but still Wrong so it starts to get unsettling, and it just gets worse from there. it's already bad before doing the eyes but with them it gets even worse
I'm really tired and I'm surrounded by a bunch of unfinished portraits that I'm working on (I'm still very new to painting, I'm trying to learn) and they're all just Looking At Me and it's a very bad feeling
#yes it was a really bad idea to listen to a horror audiobook while doing this and also being really tired!!#I thought it was a thriller and suddenly there's like a fucking creature that possesses people 🤦#anyway I think I need to go to bed. too many eyes are staring at me.#I don't know if I always paint the eyes last because I find it easier or because I can't stand having them stare at me#I hope this is a normal thing to feel otherwise I'll add it to the list of ways in which my brain is weird and fucked up#great now it feels like something bad is about to happen.#is that normal by the way? when you have a thought like that and it feels like you jinxed it because it'll happen now because you thought#it? that's something a character in this book experiences actually. but it's portrayed like it's because of her unspecified mental#illness sooo that wouldn't be great for me then#anyway damn what's wrong with me this is so weird lol#personal#also I suspect the fact that I am still very bad at painting faces is adding to how creepy they feel#though I also don't like when there's like photos of people's faces hanging on the wall or something#it really unsettles me#which apparently is weird I guess
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so sorry for the people here who wish for another fic for my 'weathers family farm' series/are wondering if I'm dead. finals may have killed my spirit but mostly my writers block is being caused by my brain being taken over by my OCs. they're not even paying rent (letting me write about them in a publishable way)
#mine#im trying to finish this one fic but its fighting me the whole damn way#it might be a while honestly#i think finals took more out of me than i realised#if i trusted my longfic skills more i would write about them but unfortunately the longest ill go is maybe 3 or 4 chapters#me and long plots dont work out very well#and for some reason the story i do have is setting itself up in my head more like a tv series?? than a fic??#which is weird for me cause usually if i think about scenes over and over ill stop thinking about them visually#and start thinking about them in terms of how i would write the scene right?#but this one is trying to be a tv series#like ive imagined a trailer for it and everything#ive written some scenes but most of them are backstory for a side character and not like the main plot :/#big sigh#anyways this isnt about my main OCs per se but i saw a picture the other day of the Stargazer (my beloved)#and ive been wondering how the stargazer would fit in WOC#and my brain latched onto the idea that they were the first/one of the first commercial aircraft to get a doctorate#bc my main oc storyline takes place in college#bc thats the sisyphean hell im putting myself thru so i need my characters to suffer with me#oh yeah im also trying to pack. like all my stuff. so thats also going on in the background of all this#im literally sitting on the floor rn surrounded by coat hangars after giving up trying to shove them in an ikea bag#heem heem. whimper even.
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good!! i was reading interview translations again and saw "yes, gojo was totally spoiled by his clan when he was a kid" and thought, wow .... you know who might be interested in this ? i wonder if he knows abt them, so i just had to make sure !
I genuinely love how you guys know me so well 🤣
That line absolutely did make me go all laser eyes, yes. It explains so much about teen!Satoru, seriously.
I'm curious about the Gojou clan in general. The phrasing used when they were first(?) mentioned made me think Satoru was the only surviving member, but then I figured he's the only active sorcerer, seeing as the clan is still around. But we got to see bits of the Kamo clan, and the Zenin clan, well...
Gojou's the only major clan left to make an appearance, though I doubt it'll happen. I do wonder what their current stance on Satoru is, especially considering the middle finger he keeps giving to the higher ups and tradition in general. Plus the whole Shibuya mess and its aftermath.
#i love my anons#anon#jjk#I'd understand if it's shrunk over the years#but seriously just one sorcerer??#well he's one hell of a sorcerer#but still#I'm also so damn used to calling the guy gojou that using satoru outside of fic feels weird#brains are very strange
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i wish i'd reblogged that one video i saw talking about The Tray (tray of food in fridge that you can just snack on like an Executive Dysfunction Charcuterie) bc i actually tried it and like. i am Eating More? i think?? The Tray is much more powerful than i expected
#and it also makes it easier for me to eat food in time without it going bad??#like- most of the time i don't eat certain foods bc brain labels it as 'snack' so that means i am Not Allowed to eat it for meals#because brain is weird like that#and then other times i forget it's there bc i don't look at where it's stored#but the box is like a Zero Effort Meal Box so brain is able to label the box as a Meal instead#because. brain is really damn weird#and since it's all in The Box i can see it there easily and don't forget about it#so i'm eating produce and shit without it going bad immediately and like. actually eating the whole container of things#instead of everything just spoiling and being wasted#anyway i had a Meal today of little bits from the box and it Worked Well and i am happy about that#i had some bits of cheese and summer sausage and carrot matchsticks and peanuts and pretzels and sauerkraut :3#i'm learning how to store food in ways that makes it easier for me to eat too#like the summer sausage- if i just cut the whole thing into little bite-size pieces and put it in a tupperware it's easier for me#and carrots- i like them but they're too hard to bite through so i got those matchstick-sliced kind and those are way better#so i'm actually going to get some real vegetables in my diet for once thank fuck#it's very satisfying and nice to find Ways Around things i struggle with#it's nice that i might not have so much trouble#like it's obviously not going to solve it and i'm still gonna struggle some but it's something that'll help at least
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You go to therapy with your problems. But sometimes, you go out of therapy with the realization that you have far more problems than you thought you had😅
#we're talking about social situations and my fears about them and oh boy I wasn't aware of how damn anxious I am around certain things#and realted to me playing with my fingers and never taking eye contact and such and generally being fearful when holding conversations-#and being very insecure about the way I act and I may be perceived#she asked if ever something happened that made me feel like I was weird/wrong/awkward with myself#and like no I have always been like this since I was a child💀#thanks @ my parents for never thinking their child may have problems one round of applaus to you being obivious as fuck#also had a short moment of my brain going: oh no you're doing this too well youre too good you have to tone it down-#if she realizes you have your act together and apply all these tools you don't need therapy#like.....what#that was it from me this wednesday have a great evening y'all
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Currently hyperfixating hardcore on the devil is a part timer, and Hanzo Urushihara aka Fallen Demon General Lucifer is very much my emo pathetic failgirl blorbo so I’ve had a bit of a crush on him since I was like 13
Factors in my favor:
- +2 for basic “he’s socially awkward like me and I think we could vibe” and “we have similar interests”
- +1 bc he’s a shut in (in part bc that’s what he prefers in part bc he’s a little bit wanted by the law) and I’m okay with internet dating
- +? he’s so ADHD and he’s been reverse isakied so he doesn’t even know ADHD is a thing, I’m hoping I can get a relationship buff just by informing him and providing resources
Factors against me:
- -1 I’m fat and in cannon there’s some. Hurtful subtext. So I suppose it depends on the writer lmao?
- -??? I might have a bit too much faggotry swag for him ngl
Okay, dearest followers, be honest.
Which one of your fictional crushes do you truly believe that you could pull irl? Realistically. Taking all factors into account. Whether you were in their universe or not, up to you. But be HONEST.
#sorry for the long reply but#I’ve been going back and forth on writing a X self insert fic for like a week#truely a difficult question I’m ngl#my last self insert was a literal commentary on the inhability to truely capture all aspects of yourself at once in writing#so that’s the level of overthinking I do when writing#so for the past week I’ve been genuinely struggling to justify a romance between him and my self insert and it Feels Weird#I’m very analytical when writing romance especially as a person on the aro/ace spectrum#I try my best to justify romance with specific traits the characters appreciate or shared experiences#and I will say asking yourself ‘what of my traits would make someone fall in love with me?’ is a mindfuck#not even in a self deprecating way like#I like myself and I know things about myself that I like#but I have no clue what others might like#anyway sorry again to anyone who has to suffer through these tags lol#I know I take this way to damn serious but that’s how my brain works and i can’t really stop it#also isn’t it a bit fun to take stuff way too serious and turn a silly fun thing into a series of deep introspection?
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every time i have a pe lesson i lose a tiny bit of my will to live
heads up i kinda started venting in the tags so if you dont want to put up with that just scroll <333
#ev yaps#vent incoming#sorry#none of the school subject slander is true btw other subjects r still very slay!!!#i fucking suck at pe#idk why but i physically cannot be good at sport#the one exeption being figure skating at which i am still kinda shit idk id never be anything close to professional#anyway to my peers its pretty much the only subject that matters#good at science? psycho (like nobody likes science but even so were all supposed to be decent at it)#maths? ok thats like the bare minimum also like nobody cares#english? ok cool#music? unless its singing or a rare-ish instrument nobody will actually give a shit#ok you get the picture#except art ig#but im not the best at it so it doesnt matter#OH NOT TO MENTION THE FUCKING 'IF YOU CANT KICK A BALL YOU'RE FAT' JOKES ISTGGGG EUGHH LIKE STOP THAT AINT COOL#im atheist but like damn god really didn't want me to amount to anything#like no joke i have literally no talent except for yapping#im just the loud kid with the weird sense of humour#that will end up working a shit boring ass job fr the rest of his life#or maybe i'll just work in an h&m until i fucking die#because being a screenwriter/ just working in film production is unrealistic#and i cant really write but its one of my best skills#i dont really know what else i can do with my life#and everyone is probably judging me#everything i say and do.#idk maybe im overthinking all of this and im fine. maybe all my problems and their impacts are being made up by some twisted corner of#my brain for attention#anyway sorry about that#back to our usual program
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explain to me how i got from painting to a deep dive on ok go, their music videos and how they hate the music industry
#how did we get from one to the next? tbf I have been adhding all day very badly so that might explain it#anyway these dudes did a music video in zero g???? insane. hope they’re doing good#also painting was mildly successful! i usually paint with like. templates ya know#in the way I’ll print out something and trace it and then trace that onto the canvas#but this time i just did some scenery for the first time and like!!! not gonna say it’s louvre worthy#but damn like. my blending? incredible. art concepts? clicking in my brain.#anyway. weird day but i guess successful for me.#forcing myself to walk on the treadmill now though bc I’ve been on my butt pretty much all day#okay it’s been real that’s my daily update that no one cares about ✌️#quite literally idk why I keep posting these but i guess i gotta tell someone about my life ya know?#i’m rambling again aren’t i
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