#(OK Apparently That Is The Theme Which Makes Sense Now)

[aph-japan]

{from here!}

[icallhimjoey]

Almost, Always

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: Happy endings aren't for everyone, so it seems, but that doesn't mean that you can't stop trying for one. Question is, are you actually star-crossed lovers that can figure something out, or just absolutely blind to reality and really fucking stupid?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, smut, cheating

Author’s note: it's monday! and fake joe's here for you! he's... not exactly the best, for which i apologise, but, he's all for you, so please, enjoy him fictionally and respect him privately (too much to ask? i hope not?) ok great talk everyone, love you <33 xo

Wordcount: 6.3K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Four days of silence.

Four days of not looking each other in the eye. Of no physical touch. Of not saying a single fucking word.

You moved around each other in a shared space until you had the thought that you were probably better off avoiding each other completely for a little while.

Joe was convinced he had every right to wait for an apology before he’d speak to you again. You, however, obviously heavily disagreed.

You had just been honest.

Joe had asked for you to be honest and so, you had been, but apparently, you’d done it wrong.

It started with an evening of not speaking after an outburst. A silent night routine where you completely avoided one another. Acted like the other person wasn’t even there. You’d thought then that you’d speak in the morning. That you’d talk things out after getting some sleep, because maybe that was the problem.

You slept with your backs facing each other and dreamed of better moods in the morning.

But then the next morning, Joe had gotten up and only made one coffee.

One singular cup of coffee.

He drank it at the kitchen table, looked at you all bitterly like a disappointed parent would look at their child who was ruining their potential, and then left the empty cup there for you to grow even more annoyed at. More than you already were.

That one evening of silence had slowly turned into four days.

You bit your tongue, though. Kept quiet, because Joe did too. Stored the annoyance away. Swept it under the rug, and even though this metaphoric rug was starting to look really lumpy, you pretended you could walk over it fine still.

You then also ignored that this is precisely what the fight had been about. About you shutting up about all the little things that annoyed you. All the small things that didn’t feel worth the effort to say anything about in the moment, because you didn’t want to be a nag.

Things built with you.

Being bothersome was your worst nightmare, so you wouldn’t say anything for ages until then suddenly, on a random afternoon, a teeny tiny drop made the bucket overflow and you’d fall apart at something so stupidly insignificant which would take everyone by surprise.

Would take Joe by surprise.

And it made sense that Joe’s first reaction to your fire would be to light his own. You’d snap and shout, so Joe’d snap and shout right back.

“Babe, you never fucking communicate! It’s always– I’m always guessing with you! Just tell me when something upsets you!”

“I am!”

“Yea now you are! But you’re telling me about shit I said three months ago! What do you want me to change about something I did three months ago?!”

“I don’t want you to change anything– my God! You asked me what’s wrong, so I’m telling you what’s wrong!”

It was always the same fight. And usually, you’d end up saying something so stupid to your own ears it would break the tension and make you laugh. It’d be easy to apologise in those moments, because you knew this was on you, and the warmth coming off of Joe as he’d turn soft at your laughter would always sort of fix things.

“Stop being so silly,” he’d say as he’d hug you. As he’d kiss you on the cheek until your embarrassed grimace, aimed fully at yourself, disappeared.

“Got some moaning left in there?” he’d ask, tapping the side of your head with a finger, making you giggle despite yourself. “Want to go shout into the air from the balcony? Since you’re here now, this is the time to get all of it out.”

That was how it usually went.

And he was right; you could definitely communicate better. Express feelings in the moment rather than hold on to all the negative shit for ages.

Easier said than done, but at least you were aware that you had to stop saving things for another day.  

This time the fight had been different though. There was no eventual humour slipping through any cracks. No secret smiles hidden from each other until you stopped being able to conceal them. No apologies. Zero kind words. Just… anger. And silence.

Joe was waiting for you to break first. For your wrath to turn into something a little softer that he could mould into something more to his liking.

And you were waiting because Joe was waiting. Simple as that.

It didn’t feel fair that every time you’d share negative feelings, Joe would end up calling you silly.

It didn’t feel fair that Joe never apologised for anything.

It didn’t feel fair that, just because you were quiet for a moment as you collected your thoughts, Joe spat, “Silent treatment? All right.” at you.

Four days.

Four days of Joe making a morning coffee just for himself, actively choosing to ignore, and therefore, hurt you.

Four days of his lone empty coffee cup left on the table, which you then didn’t clean, because why the fuck would you, but the sight of it was eating you alive.

You spent four days witnessing petty, childish behaviour from the man who you started believing you needed some space from. A little breathing room. Just until he’d miss you enough to reach out and say sorry, you know?

You wondered if he was thinking the same.

If the silence was also letting his mind wander into those same dark corners yours was exploring.

But then, Joe broke it.

A glass of wine on that fourth night broke it.

It wasn’t exactly an apology, but… it felt like one. You decided it was an apology.

You were sitting on the sofa, tapping away on your phone, talking to Emily about your stupid boyfriend, and she was a good friend, made fun of him effortlessly which really did a good job of making you feel better.

Then, Joe placed a glass of wine down on the coffee table in front of you.

It didn’t fully register at first.

You saw the glass, but assumed it was Joe’s wine that he poured for just himself, and if you were going to want some, you’d have to go and fetch you own.

Mid-typing out a message to Emily about it, you felt Joe sit down next to you, and when you chanced a quick glance, you saw that he was holding a glass of wine himself as he got comfortable and turned on the TV.

Slowly, your phone lowered into your lap, and you stared at that glass of red wine on the table for a moment.

Without warning, your eyes welled up.

He poured that for you.

In the effort to not let Joe notice how this gesture hit you right in the gut, you held your breath until you were shaking, and then a heaving sob burst out of you.

Shit.

You shattered.

Split right down the middle, and burst into pieces with such vigour, you surprised yourself, but surprised Joe more.

He had expected you to pick up the glass and empty it in the sink, or whatever.

Four days was much longer than he thought you’d let this go on for.

His girlfriend was stubborn – he knew that. But four days? Four days was a really fucking long time. And, apparently, four days was long enough for a simple glass of red supermarket wine to make you cry.

The astonishment rendered Joe useless for a moment.

He just looked at you for a moment as you sat with your phone in your lap, head dropped down, and your face covered by both your hands.

This was really fucking embarrassing.

Your legs felt the want to escape the situation before your mind got the chance to catch up. You were up on your feet and wanted to bolt it to the bedroom when you heard Joe put his glass of wine down.

You hadn’t even taken two steps before you got taken hold of by an arm. Pulled into a chest. Held firmly into place.

Going from four days of moving around each other like you didn’t exist to one another, to the very sudden tightest hug you’d received in ages was a lot.

And then Joe placed a hand on the back of your neck and squeezed you gently, making you fucking bawl.

No one apologised.

No one said a word, actually.

But you took whatever that glass of wine was as enough of an olive branch to let yourself be hugged.

Be shushed quietly.

Be gently kissed and softly touched.  

It shouldn’t have counted as an apology, but you’d taken it as one, and Joe had conveniently let you.

Saturday night.

You’re out.

Alone.

You know Emily would have come if you had asked her to, but you hadn’t, because she would’ve likely asked a bunch of questions you didn’t want to answer.

“Where are we going?” “That’s not where we usually go...” “Why are we going there?”

Couldn’t tell her. She’d try her best to talk sense into you. Would try to convince you that this behaviour wasn’t serving anyone in the long term.

And she’d be right.

But you currently don’t really care about the long term.

Short term is where it’s at.

Where all the fun and the excitement lives.

So you’re out. Having drinks at a bar by yourself, and you do your very best fending off any trickle of doubt at your life choices until you see him walk in.

Jackpot.

You fucking knew it.

You pretend you haven’t seen him at all, of course. Continue your chat with the girl behind the bar, until suddenly–

“You know you’ve got the worst timing?”

Joe sneaks up on you.

His voice is low in your ear, and you do your very best to sound as surprised as you possibly can when you gasp a small breath, all innocent. You turn your head to see him over your shoulder, both his hands on your sides as he looks down at you.

“Fancy seeing you here.” You say it like you truly didn’t expect to run into him.

Oscar worthy.

Well. It would have been, had you not both been very aware that you’re exactly where you are for this exact reason. Wearing what you are wearing, drinking what you are drinking. It’s more than a lucky guess that he’d be here tonight.

Joe’s predictable like that.

Men in general are easy like that.

“I’m here with a whole group.” Joe’s making excuses he already knows aren’t going to stop either one of you.  

“Do I know them?”

“No.” Joe answers as he scans your face from the side. God, you look all… glossy.

“Good.” Would’ve been a bit awkward otherwise.

“You better hang around for a bit.” Joe gives you a face, sort of stern, and it’s so comfortable to frown at him. To act all offended. Like it’s not exactly what you want to hear.

“Excuse you, I’m–” you start all aghast, and want to add, I’m seeing someone, which is a lie, but you get cut off by a strong squeeze into your waist from both his hands.

“I’m not joking. Give me… maybe, like, an hour and I’ll come get you.”

You scrunch your nose at him and he gives a small nod, his grin spreading wide, before he turns around and finds the people he came in with.

You’re alone. Single, and having drinks in a bar by yourself, which has every opportunity to feel a little sad, but instead you feel giddy. You predicted you’d run into him, and then you did.

Perfect.

You’re a genius.

After last time, you kind of want Joe to think that you are seeing someone. Just to make you feel like you’ve got the upper hand. Not that it matters. You’ve both made the same wrong choice in similar situations before. But, still. You just don’t want him to win.

Joe joins his friends, and he throws a quick glance back to see you smile into your drink as you take a sip.

Yea. Glossy is the right word, he thinks. He could stare at you all evening.

Fuck.

A whack to his shoulder by one of his friends pulls him into a conversation and momentarily, he shifts into the evening he had planned to have.

He forgets about you for a minute, but never entirely.

It’s like there’s a constant little buzz in the back of his head, and he keeps wanting to look over. See what you’re doing. Who you’re talking to. Who’s talking to you.

Joe’s in trouble.

You do things to him that he can’t entirely comprehend, and that no one before or after you has ever really managed. He doesn’t know what to make of that most of the time, except that the feelings he’s got for you are sort of… big. And scary.

You’re still devastatingly gorgeous to him, he can objectively look at you and think, yea she’s fucking hot, but you also manage to make him laugh. Manage to him feel heard and cared for. Manage to make him forget about all current worries life has on offer for him.

And Joe is generally, just, doomed.

Whatever he had with you had worked for a while and then suddenly it hadn’t anymore. You’d suddenly wanted out, but now… it feels a little like you both want to start over. Like you both want to forget about that chapter of bullshit. Pretend it never happened.

And what’s the problem with that?

Is whatever you are doing now a problem? If it works?

If it doesn’t hurt people, Joe thinks there’s no issue.

But he knows it actually does hurt people. It’s another truth he ignores. Tries to, at least.

There’s no denying the gravitation pulling the two of you closer and closer together until eventually you end up a tangled mess. Like a pair of forgotten earphones left in a coat pocket, too annoying to untie, so instead someone will pull at both ends until the earpieces reach both ears, leaving the wire tangled up even tighter as it sits under their chin.

Even though Joe appreciates the poetic beauty he can find in all of that, he knows he’s got to fucking stop hurting people all the time.

He can’t help his feelings.

But he can help how he treats others.

If he is going to choose to let the general ache of a bad week be soothed by the balm of your presence, he can at least have the decency to not let others presume they’re dating him. Because generally, that’s always been his problem. Joe’s vague and avoidant and all about surface level fun – he never defines anything if he can help it, and he lets others think what they please.

It’s easier that way.

For him, at least.

It’s both a shame and a godsend that this is a part of him that you know through and through. That you see. He doesn’t have to try to hide it, because he knows that it’s of no use with you.

And apparently, it’s fine, because here you fucking are, aren’t you?

He remembers when he thought you were just the same, and remembers how he felt so lucky at first.

A perfect match.

He’d learnt over time, you’re actually very much not the same. But! You had at least some of the same tendencies, and you showing up in this particular bar tonight was enough proof of it.

Joe’s in his group of friends, and they’re all chatting and laughing, and this was meant to be a fun night out, but he might as well just leave right now. His mind is with the girl at the other end of the bar, sat on her own, smiling and chatting to whoever had the courage to strike up a conversation.

Yea.

He’s got more problems.

Forget not wanting to define anything with anyone.

Joe also has to stop banking his entire future on the idea that you want him too.

There’s… there’s a lot of things to ignore.

It should foreshadow that the path he’s going down isn’t good. Isn’t the right one. But... it’s so fun and exciting, he kind of has to know where it leads.

He sighs loudly, a frustrated grumble originating from sheer defeat, and he gives the glass he’s holding a glance. He’ll finish this, and then he’ll fetch you and leave.

About fifteen minutes later, he’s got you under his arm and is leading you outside. Asks, “Yours or mine?” because there’s no need to act coy with you.

You answer, “Yours.” a little too quickly for Joe not to raise an eyebrow at.

You’re walking together, and you’re still fixing your scarf, but your steps are too determined. Too rushed for your quick answer not to hide at least some secrets.

“What, you got anything to hide from me?”

“No–”

“Let’s go over to yours. It’s closer.” he challenges without the intent to actually do so, footsteps still carrying him in the direction of his own flat.

“No, I–”

“Or has Jasper left all of his things strewn about?” Joe couldn’t finish the question before having to twist his mouth in a bid to hide his smile.

You stop walking for just a second, and give him a dead pan stare that transitions into an eye-roll before you flatly say, “All right, good night.” and pretend to turn around to leave.

It makes Joe throw his head back in a laugh, both his arms grabbing at you and pulling you close.

“Mine, okay. Mine.”

And you fall back into step, smiling into your scarf at how you just made Joe’s laugh echo down the street.

Feels good to make Joe laugh.

It’s quiet for a bit, just a short few seconds. Just footsteps on the ground amongst the noises of the city. Somehow, it feels like it drags on, like every second lasts a whole minute, and you can’t help filling it with awkward chat. “No,” you start. “Jasper’s put all of his things where they’re supposed to go.” And you give Joe a pointed look after.

He bites immediately.

“Wha– I always put my things where they’re supposed to go!”

He doesn’t.

You know he doesn’t.

He knows you know he doesn’t.

It’s impossible to forget all of the little things that made the rug look all lumpy. You’d always keep things under there for ages, which gave you a lot of time to quietly lift up corners to examine all the mess.

So you snort, and he stutters through beginnings of words he never finishes to find excuses that don’t exist until you’re both laughing.

Then he says, “Here. I’ll put this thing where it’s meant to go.” And you think it’s just about the cheesiest innuendo ever, but then he takes your wrist in his hand and lets his fingers intertwine with yours.

You look up at him with a pursed smile, but Joe’s already looking right ahead, making sure you don’t bump into anything.

You’re lucky it’s cold enough to blame the flush of your cheeks on the cold wind.

You hold hands all the way to Joe’s flat.

It’s nice.

You also talk about Jasper all the way to Joe’s flat.

That’s less nice.

Joe asks what else Jasper does that he allegedly doesn’t. If he lets you keep your heating on. If he lets you sleep closest to the door. Every question comes out with disdain, like this loser doesn’t know what he’s fucking doing.

And you answer every question with lies. Paint a very pretty picture.

Jasper doesn’t even fucking exist, but you like that Joe thinks you’re taken. That you’re off the market, and that he shouldn’t be taking you home, but still chooses to. You think maybe he wouldn’t have held your hand if he thought you weren’t already spoken for.

However, it doesn’t feel so nice to remember all the things that ruined your relationship with Joe. He just keeps listing a bunch of shit you’d once yelled at him for, and you don’t think he fully understands how it’s bringing the mood down.

Presumably, you’re meant to think it’s funny, so you smile, but all of it sits wrong in your gut. It leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth that uncomfortably sticks to your tongue and sours your mood a little.

The short-term fun with Joe is meant to be just that. Fun. You don’t want to be reminded of all the reasons why you shouldn’t be going home with him right now. If you did, you’d have taken Emily with you tonight.

You refrain from saying anything, though.

You’re still you, after all.

You just smile and tell Joe that Jasper actually does do all the things that Joe never did, and hope it sparks enough jealousy in him to maybe do something about it.

“Hmm,” Joe says when you turn the corner and his building comes into view. “Jasper sounds... he sounds kind of perfect, doesn’t he?”

He does.

You’ve created the image of a perfect boyfriend. One who you know you’d never actually gel with; you need someone who pushes back a little.

Problem is... Joe knows that too.

Just when the thought crosses your mind that maybe Joe knows you’re making everything up, that you’ve been lying this whole time you’ve been holding hands, Joe confirms your fears.

“Almost too um... almost too good to be true, wouldn’t you say?” he narrows his eyes in suspicion, a smile still playing on his lips.

“Yea, well. Some people are.” you shrug, but know Joe is reading your unsteady body language just fine.

“Sure, sure. Yea. I guess so.” Joe says, and then falls silent.

He knows you’re lying.

Well, fuck.

And then, he lets the silence linger.

Joe doesn’t say anything as he fishes his keys from a pocket and lets you into his building. Doesn’t say anything as he pushes the lift button. Just gives you a little smile, like he’s trying to hold in a chuckle, thinking secret thoughts.

It gets in your hair.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s... no, it’s nothing.”

Joe lets his small smile turn into a fat smirk and it’s starting to get on your nerves. The lift doors open, and you assertively step inside before Joe can give you a small ladies-first gesture.

Joe watches you press the button to his floor before he shakes his head a little and follows you in.

“What?” you ask again, and to that, Joe finally lets a barking laugh out.

“What?” he mimics, feeding off of the brooding bit of bite he can sense growing underneath your skin.

“If you’re trying to piss me off, it’s fucking working.”

“I’m not trying to do anything.” Joe patronises, joy very much still visible in the lines on his cheeks.

He knows you’re single.

He knows there’s no Jasper.

“Hmm.” It’s your turn to narrow eyes at him. “Yea, no. Of course not. You don’t have to try to piss me off, you’re right. You’ve got the skills to auto-pilot your way–”

In a lightning-speed quick move, Joe shuts you up by suddenly getting close enough for you to stumble back against the mirrored panel or the lift. He’s got two hands touching your sides over your coat, firm enough for you to feel them through the thick layers of fabric.

It startles you into silence, and makes you audibly swallow.

You can see from up close how Joe smugly pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek, eyes roving over you slowly, and, fuck.

Yea.

Yea. Okay.

It shifts.

All of it is shifting.

The annoyance and slight anger transfers into something else.

Into something a little more raunchy.

You feel a sudden rush down your body from the way Joe’s eyes blaze with intention.

Joe knows you. Bit rash of you to forget.

Just before the lift stills and the doors open behind him, Joe lets his body sway forward a bit to press himself up against you entirely. It makes your breath hitch and stutter. Makes you want to grab hold of the large collar of his coat to pull him down enough so you can kiss him.

But then, in a blink of an eye, he’s gone. Pushes himself off, quickly moves away, walks out of the lift, and leaves you there to catch your breath for a second.

Fucking hell.

Oh, tonight is going to be interesting.

You don’t leave the lift until the doors start closing and you have to quickly launch yourself across to get an arm in front of the sensor. Down the hall you see him disappear into his flat, leaving his door open, and you take rushing steps to follow him inside.

You don’t want to waste any more time.

You want to undress right there on his doormat, despite the bitterly cold temperature you’ve just stepped into.

You want find Joe, who you can hear is already opening and closing cupboards in his kitchen, and just... you don’t know. Jump him, you guess.

That lift moment has made you want to devour him. Made you want to be devoured by him.

But then you close his door and step into his kitchen, and find him at the counter. He’s got his back turned, and is super calmly pouring two glasses of wine.

No urgency.

Zero haste.

He knows what he’s just done to you. Knows the effect that likely must have had. He’s toying with you. Fucking playing.

You drop your coat where you’re standing, right onto the floor. Toe your shoes off to make a pile. You cross your arms and grab hold of the bottom of your top, ready to pull that over your head next, but you pause to watch Joe’s shoulders move under his shirt as he carefully twists and pushes the cork back onto the bottle to seal it.

When he turns around, he leans against the counter, one hand on the edge of it, and in the other he’s holding a nice fat glass of red.

Glass.

One glass.

For a moment you just assume that there’s another hiding behind his back, though it doesn’t even fully register.

You make eye-contact as he takes a slow sip of his drink, and then you slowly pull your top off. It reveals a lacy bra you’re convinced Joe likes the look of.

And you’re right.

Joe halts, and openly stares. Mouth in his wine. Hypnotised. Frozen on the spot. Mind slowly turning to mush.

He’s predictable like that.

Men in general are easy like that.

You take a deep breath, inflating your whole chest, and Joe groans at the sight. The glass of wine gets put back down behind him, and you don’t even think he has taken real sip. Then he takes a few steps to pull a chair from his table.

He holds a hand up that means, one second, and pulls at the fabric of his trousers to give himself a bit more space before he sits down. He shifts a little, settles in, and then leans back with his legs spread wide, both hands behind his head, fingers folded and elbows sticking out.

He takes a deep breath before he gives a small nod that says, carry on.

You bite your teeth into your bottom lip as you smile, because Joe is an idiot, and you let your hands find the button to your trousers to take off next.

Then, suddenly, it lands.

There’s one single glass of wine on the counter.

One.

You stop your movements as you look at it and watch the red liquid inside softly swirl from when Joe put it down.

It takes a second for Joe to follow your gaze, and for him to understand what you’re looking at.

He frowns in confusion a little, looks back at you to see that you’re still staring, and then looks back again, and–

“Oh...”

Your expression has gone cold.

And Joe thinks that maybe he gets it. He isn’t entirely sure, but he’s smart enough to know that the show he had just settled in for is probably going to get cancelled if he doesn’t do anything.

“Did you...”

But he’s not sure what to say. Doesn’t know how to finish that sentence. When you start moving, he thinks maybe he doesn’t have to.

It’s crazy how this feels like it used to feel, before.

But, it’s a little different now, because… there’s nothing at stake. There’s no you to protect. No you two as a couple to preserve.

That stupid single glass of red wine.

You fucking hate it.

And you know it’s sick, you know that you’re not meant to enjoy this, but the feeling of rage bubbling up within you honestly feels kind of good. It’s been a while since you’ve gotten to experience full-body resentment, and have the immediate source of it right there to take it out on.

You want to feel this dark, sticky displeasure.

Feels fucking good.

Joe’s been reminding you of what a shit boyfriend he was to you, which was meant to be ha-ha funny. Joe thought enough time had passed. You had gone from no-contact to two people that bickered for a bit, and then would end up in bed together. It had happened twice already, and you had all the right ingredients to keep this going. The recipe had proven itself delicious, and Joe thought he could just... serve the same meal again.

It’s self-destructive, you know it is, but… you are hungry for it too.

You take a few slow steps and walk over to look at this glass of wine more closely. Joe watches you from his seat, entirely unsure of what to do, and then, without warning, you slowly push the whole thing into the sink.

Red splashes everywhere, and the glass clatters loudly, but it doesn’t break.

Next, you take the bottle into your hands. Look at the label for a moment. Pretend to read it. It’s still pretty full.

Too bad, you think. Such a waste.

You remove the cork, turn around to look Joe directly in the eye, and then tip that over as well. The whole sink colours blood read as you drain the whole thing, and all Joe can do is watch on from his seat.

He doesn’t stop you.

Doesn’t say anything.

Just watches you and feels the energy of the room build.

He’d forgotten how things always build with you.

You’re quite the sight, face reading thunder, standing in his kitchen in your bra, breath deepening with every second that passes.

Joe hates what it does to him inside of his trousers.

When the bottle empties, wine clattering in the sink, Joe sees your face change. Something more… calm seemingly overcomes you. You look... pleased.

“Does that feel justified?” Joe asks, eyes blinking at you.

“Fuck you. Yes it does.”

“Do you have any idea how expensive that was?”

You don’t give a shit how expensive that was, but just because you know Joe does, you want to know.

“Tell me.”

Joe scans your body all the way down and then all the way back up.

“Come here.” Joe holds an arm out and reaches for you.

“Shut up. Tell me.” You’re already making your way over.

“That’s a class A premier grand cru...”

You take Joe’s hand and let him pull you to sit on his lap. To straddle him, thighs spread wide, one leg over each one of his.

“That was a class A premier grand cru.” the words mean nothing to you, you know fuck all about wine, but there’s something glorious about correcting Joe.

“Hmm.” Joe hums as his nose nudges yours, and he lets both hands slide up your thighs until he finds the bits he likes holding most. He uses his grip to pull you in closer and continues, “A blend of merlot, and cabernet franc...” Joe’s French accent is awful. “An award-winning Château Angélus from... from 2016, I think...”

That’s fairly recent, you think. Can’t be that expens–

“Cost me over 500 quid.”

Your eyes darken.

Good.

You wouldn’t pay much more than a tenner for a bottle of the same size.

“Should’ve poured me a glass.”

And it’s only then that the penny drops. That he gets it. You can see it in his eyes. The flush of memories suddenly making it to the forefront of his brain.

The silent treatment.

The coffees he didn’t make you.

The wine he eventually did pour for you.

That one glass of red that temporarily had fixed everything.

Shit.

Joe grimaces. Groans. Squeezes his eyes shut. Feels like an idiot.

“Should’ve poured you a–”

You kiss Joe.

Hard.

Breathe him in, and move in enough for it to almost make the chair tip backwards. You’ve got both your arms around his neck, hips moving over Joe’s lap in a desperate grind, all needy and in search of feeling something.

Fire.

You want to feel the fire.

Momentarily, you think it’s working. That something is catching aflame. You can feel how Joe spreads his legs even wider, bucking his hips upward as he presses himself into you.

Joe is straining in his trousers, and he groans as you figure out the right rhythm to make it feel good with every hip roll, with every back and forth.

You break the kiss to let a moan escape you, head dropping back, and Joe’s mouth finds the skin of your neck to taste. His teeth graze before he kisses as you fiercely move against each other. Louder noises escape you when Joe lets a hand curl around and grab you by the back of your neck.

“Yea? That feel nice?” he pants, and all you can do is bob your head in a barely there nod as you keep moving.

It does feel nice.

Feels really nice.

Not exactly fire, though. You’re both in trousers, fabric rubbing together furiously, dry humping each other like a pair of horny teenagers who haven’t passed third base yet.

So, not fire, but nice none the less.

In contrast, there’s a lot of things Joe’s feeling, and he kind of wants you to know about all of them. Needs to speak them into the air in order to fully process what’s happening inside of his brain.

“Did you know I um… I broke everything off, the next day?” Joe starts, and stops to curse under his breath. “Fuck. Yea, keep going. Shit. Ah... A-after you left, I mean, remember? I had a lot of m-missed calls, so I called her back, and I–”

You shut Joe up with a kiss.

Try to at least.

“We could–” Joe starts again after turning his head and pushing you aside with his nose, both hands spread wide over your thighs as he helps you move over his lap. “Remember, how we really were something?”

You squeeze your eyes shut. Try to focus on the feelings inside of your body instead of on the words you don’t want to hear.

“We could be something still.”

“N-no.”

You refuse to acknowledge what Joe’s trying to tell you, but don’t stop your movements. You can’t stop, head dropping back. This all feels too good.

It’s still not fire, though.

There’s no stakes.

You’re both single, and every decision you have made this evening turns out to have been inconsequential.

It’s... it’s almost boring.

But it’s good enough.

You just need a couple more seconds, you can feel it building already.

“We c-couldn’t be somethinhgh...” you choke on your words, unable to finish the sentence.

“Yes,” Joe insists, voice low and breathy, your bodies still moving in tandem. He then uses one hand takes hold of your face by your cheeks, tilting your head down so he can make eye-contact with you for a second.

“Yes we could.” He sounds hopeful as his eyes search yours. “Don’t you get it?”

But your eyes are glassy. They flutter and want to roll back.

Joe knows this look.

Know what this means.

And it’s not like Joe thinks his kind words will really fix anything, but, maybe they will, you know? Maybe. He’s glad he has said them anyway, even though you look like you haven’t even properly heard him.

“You close, baby?”

He switches gears.

“Yea? Come on.” He helps you move with strong arms that press you down a little more, and your arms scramble behind his back in your want to hold onto him tightly.

“There you go.” he coos into your ear, and, it’s not fire, but you come anyway.

Joe should have poured you a glass of wine.

Shouldn’t have brought up bad memories, shouldn’t have tried to be funny about it, and absolutely should have simply gone and poured you a glass.

You pretend that a glass of wine would’ve made a difference tonight.

The difference that you had hoped to find.

That would’ve lit the fire.

Deep down you know that’s not it, but still. The empty bottle is right there, watching you come down from your high, Joe still hard beneath you, and it’s easy to use that as the excuse.

You decide on the spot that Joe’s going to have to deal with what resides inside of his underwear by himself.

You’re done.

Sitting up, you look him in the eye for a short moment and softly but definitively say, “Should’ve poured me a glass.” and press a small kiss to his cheek which Joe gladly accepts.

Because he knows you’re right.

“Should’ve poured you a glass.”

---

The Taglisted

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@tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @witchwolflea, @xxladymjxx, @yunirgo

add yourself

[actuallyprobablyafaerie]

pjo episode four parts that made me scream

Them starting with sally trying teach percy how to swim and percy being scared is fantastic for two reasons: number one, its a normal kid thing and number two it ties into later in the books when we find out percy has a fear of drowning. Its like hoe thalia has a fear of heights and kind of ties into the idea that forbidden children are often afraid of some part of their parents element. I love that theyre bringing in elements of that idea so early!!!

percy’s “can i ask a stupid question” and annabeths “are you trying to make me make fun of you” akdbdkbaaksbdkjsbakks shes so funny

I LOVE THAT THEY BRING UP PAN AND SPECIFICALLY TIE HIM TO MANIFEST DESTINY AND AMERICAS HISTORY OF KILLING ITS INDIGENOUS PEOPLE!!!! ITS IMPORTANT FUCKING HISTORY AND IM SO GLAD THE SHOW ACKNOWLEDGED IT

percy and annabeths little banter, percys stupid accent and then him collapsing on her. That and the scene where theyre talking on the train is the percabeth we deserve!!!!!! God i love them so much

ALSO going back to the scene where theyre talking in bed on the train i love how annabeth knows that grovers grumpy in the morning and percy doesnt. Grover was her protector once too!! (Like they said last episode) and theyve traveled together before!! He was annabeths friend before he was percys

ok everyones already said this but the parallels between annabeth and medusa?!!??? With medusa saying “i was you” last episode and now annabeth getting punished for something percy did ghe same was medusa was punished for something Poseidon did????? Absolutely insane i love it

also the fact that it hurt athenas pride specifically, much like how medusa mentioned the “pride of athena” in reference to annabeth last episode, which all ties back to the fact that hubris is annabeths fatal flaw and she gets it from her mother

THE CUT TO PERCY IN THE FOUNTAIN AND THEM SPLASHING WATER ON HIM AHSKSBJAHAJSJSB theyre so funny for that

Percy just looks like a wet rag this episode and its so well done you can even tell the makeup on his face was done to make him appear paler and sicklier and it works so well

ok PERCY PULLING ANNABETH INTO THE STAIRWELL AND SHUTTING THE DOOR???? Because hes loyal to a fault!!!! And theyre becoming friends!!!!!!!!! And he cares about her more in like a week than athena ever has and its shown to us so clearly in this episode!!!!!!

ONCE AGAIN LUKES MOTIVATIONS ARE GOING TO MAKE SO MUCH SENSE BY THE TIME WE GET TO THE END OF THIS AND WE DONT EVEN HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM TO UNDERSTAND THEM god this series is so well done

Also the chimeras design looks so cool i love it so much

AND WE FINALLY GET AN ANSWER AS TO HOW PERCY GOT IN THE RIVER FROM THE TOP OF THE ARCH!! (At least in the tv world, in the book world the arch might very well just be in a different spot lol)

Poseidon saves him!! Hes a better parent than athena is apparently

god the episode ending with percy breathing underwater is so good i was on the edge of my seat until the very end

OK LAST THING is that they are continuing the theme sally brings up about monsters not always looking like monsters and heroes not always looking like heroes so well!!! Echidna bringing it up and saying that to her, demigods are more dangerous was fantastic i love how dedicated they are to this

OK ACTUALLY THE LAST THING i love the dichotomy of different mothers in this episode. We start with sally and percy and immediately see how much they love each other and care about each other!!!! Then we get to echidna who cares about her children too by teaching them to hunt!!! And then we get athena who ducking punishes annabeth for something she didnt even do. And its like. That was a little monstrous athena. Im understanding why someone might want to kill their godly parent

GOD THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD

[trinketfairy]

SQUISHMALLOWS/BUM BUMZ ALTERNATIVE MASTERPOST

After posting my warning on Jazwares for supporting Israel, I've been asked time and time again to make my alternative plushies brands available for non-Twitter users, to which I say "absolutely, fuck that site." It's well overdue at this point, so here's my list of plush brands that are way better than Squishmallows and Bum Bumz!

Unfortunately can't provide images due to Tumblr's image limit, but I'll provide websites for you to search through when available.

Complete list is under a readmore for convenience.

Squishables: If you want that same "kawaii" aesthetic and round shapes, Squishables is your best bet. They're great too because a lot of their plush are designed by fans who are given a cut of their sales. Sign up for their email notifications, they have sales very often!

Amuse/Amufun: If you're really into the "kawaii" aesthetic, then it makes sense to look directly towards Japanese brands! You may know them for their Alpacasso line. It can be expensive to get them imported, but I think they're very much worth it.

Jellycat: I can't say I 100% recommend their newer plush anymore considering their steep decline in quality, but their older plush are still so wonderful and full of character. You're bound to find something by them that you like from their catalogue. (Editor's note: This is what my original thread said, but it seems like Jellycat has improved their quality control, so I feel much better with recommending them again!)

Mary Meyer: If JC is too much out of your price range, then Mary Meyer is what I recommend next to them! Their Marshmallow Zoo line is a huge favourite of mine, I love how full of character they are.

Aurora World: Aurora World has plenty of brands under their belt, so there's bound to be something that tickles your fancy. Brands under the Aurora World company include Palm Pals, Eco Nation, Miyoni, and their baby line, Ebba.

Steiff: Ah yes, the OG teddy bear brand, the one that started it all and is still going strong. Be warned that they can get pretty expensive depending on what you're looking at, but I hear that they're so worth every single penny.

Douglas Cuddle Toys: Probably the quintessential plush brand when it comes to realistic plush, especially cats and dogs, but they have tons of other species available too! Pretty affordable too if you're buying them at retail price

Wild Republic: Another one that does more realistic-looking plush, but I think they have a wider selection of species to choose from. If you're looking for a niche animal, Wild Republic (likely) has you covered!

Shinada Morisaka Global: Another plush brand I have yet to get my hands on, but one that I hear fantastic things about. I mean come on, how can you not love these little guys??

Pokemon Center: Jazwares unfortunately holds the license to make Pokemon plush, but that doesn't mean they're your only option when it comes to Pokeplush! TPC has been making their own Pokeplush for ages now, and they have plenty of different lines to suit your tastes.

Sunlemon: They're expensive to get imported but oh my god are they worth it. The quality is truly umatched compared to American plushies, I adore my tanuki to bits. Please get more eyes on their stuff.

Prime Shiba: Definitely a more expensive option, but I think they're cute plushies for every dog lover. Their stuff often goes on sale often so definitely take advantage of them!

Plushie Dreadfuls: You've probably seen one of their mental illness-themed bunnies before, but have you seen their Pride and Zodiac collections too? They also have many generic-looking plush if the personalization isn't up your alley! Ok so this was in my Twitter thread but apparently since then some shit has gone down with the company CEO making some offhand remarks that got misinterpreted but he acted like an ass in response to it, I recommend doing your own research on it before you buy in case that's not something you wanna support.

StrawbunnyCake: Want to go more small business? Consider supporting a fellow disabled creator, StrawbunnyCake! Their stuff is adorable, and you're sure to fall in love with their characters.

Hannimations: Also on the list of small businesses is Hannimator! Easily best known for their Pride-related Colourful Puppies/Kittens plush lines

Paleoplushies: If you're super into dinosaurs and other preshistoric animals, then Paleoplushies is sure to have something you'll like! They're all handmade by a single artist, so please show them your love and kindness

Cirquell Curiosities: Another great small business to support, most known for their high-end demon goat plushies! A lot of their stuff is one of a kind too, so they're the place to go if you're looking for a unique plush.

Snughouls: The unique and elusive Care Weres line by McMadMissile is sure to win over your heart! It originally started as just being the werewolves, but has since expanded to all kinds of demonic creatures from the Kickstarter! There's even some designs waiting to be funded!

Next are a bunch of brands that weren't personally recommended by me, but get my seal of approval:

AfternoonFika

Creep Cat Toy Co.

Weighted Wildlife

Tasty Peach Studios

Bunnies By The Bay

Snoozimals

Smoko

ChottoBonita

Honeylambs

CraftedCuddlez

Cyborutchi

Fluffnest

MarDeLunaArts (+ on Etsy)

Bellzi

B Softies by B Toys

That's all I have to share, but if you have any other brands you think are worth highlighting then by all means I invite you to reblog with your additions. Please remember that this is a collective effort and we're all counting on each other to act. Keep your head up, don't stop talking about Palestine, and remember to prioritize the official BDS brands list. From the river to the sea 🇵🇸🍉🕊️🫒

[lemon-natalia]

Gideon the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 20

i just wanna apologise in advance for how long these posts are getting lol, i have a lot of Thoughts about this book

oh wait nope they are going back to the creepy lab where two people just got murdered. great plan guys

Dulcinea wanting to team up surprised me a little, but it really shouldn't have. she's been paying a lot of attention to the Ninth, and especially Gideon.

'thousands of years after you're gone ... is when you really live' this is such a different, almost warmer, perspective on death and necromancy, and i can see why it appeals to Dulcinea specifically, who's clearly had to come to terms with her mortality pretty early on in life. but its also part of the more disturbing theme that the past never really goes away, and can't help but view this line along the same lines of discovering the ancient study last chapter, and the ancient laboratory, and Canaan House in general, which are only just now having their secrets revealed, and the terrible consequences of those secrets becoming apparent, after thousands of years

'she grasped a railing, leaned over, and proffered her hand' well this is getting very courtly romance

ah yes lets go through the door decorated with a swirl of human teeth, i'm sure there's happy fun times to be had in there. harrow, resident goth interior designer who specialises in bone decor, is probably taking notes as we speak

even after hurting her hand twice, Harrow really just can't resist experimenting even further huh. she's so very reluctant to accept that her existing powers aren't enough by themselves for this

ooohhhh, having to literally suck the life force out of your cavalier to win?? thats so sick and twisted and i love it. these challenges are, again, clearly relying on this intense relationship between the pair, both in trusting them absolutely and in this literal soul-siphoning/melding link thing.

however, it feels like Gideon's really getting the brunt of it in these challenges. Harrow's absolutely putting in an awful lot of effort and power, but it's the cavalier who has to fight the bone amalgamation, the cavalier who has to have their life literally siphoned out. they're about trust and a bond between them, but also seemingly about a willingness to sacrifice your cavalier to achieve that goal, and i have a really bad feeling about where exactly this is going in terms of how exactly one achieves lyctorhood

'under no circumstances will i ever desire your juice' Harrow you may wish to revisit this sentiment when you guys (to my limited knowledge) eventually become girlfriends

'none of this is worth it, at all [...] i'm sorry. We take so much' i'm like 90% sure the voice talking to Gideon throughout all this was Dulcinea, largely because it doesn't really make sense for it to be anyone else, but there were certain lines, specifically these ones, that made me suspicious at first it might be some(one? thing?) else. but it also feels fitting that its Dulcinea coaching her through this.

wow, just wow, i'm really impressed with the writing in this chapter, and how the pain Gideon is feeling is expressed. its such an abstract experience/feeling to describe, but i think its done incredibly well

'Ha-ha, said Gideon, first time you didn't call me Griddle, and died' ok i know she didn't but THANKS for giving me an absolute heart attack with that sentence Tamsyn Muir

Harrow i get understand u are protective of Gideon but let Dulcinea comfort her plz

'you can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor'. ahh the duality of Gideon the Ninth. this just evocative prose about how it feels to be on the brink of death, and then immediately afterwards hits you in the face with a mean girls reference. beautiful, iconic, effervescent.

[blasphemousclaw]

Hey do people need birth control in the Lands Between or

omg ok. I’ve actually been wondering this for a while. I’m about to write way more words than you probably expected

there’s a few weird references to fertility in the game but I think the most blatant is the hilarious removed item description for the turtle neck meat:

“A splendid, lengthy cut of turtle neck meat. […] Turtle meat is said to boost virility, but none in the Lands Between seem to have much appetite for it these days. In Lands Between. the urge to reproduce has waned long ago.”

so apparently in the lands between these days there’s no desire to reproduce. which makes sense as the entire land has been ravaged by war and most ordinary people have become shambling husks. lol

I do think though that in the game as a whole there’s a clear theme of a once fertile and plentiful age becoming stagnant: several item descriptions describe that the Erdtree once experienced an “age of plenty” that has since dried up:

“Talisman depicting a drop of the Erdtree's sap, a blessed boon. It was once thought that the blessed sap of the Erdtree would drip from its boughs forever — but that age of plenty swiftly came to a close, and with time, the Erdtree became more an object of faith.” (Blessed Dew Talisman)

Sap is the lifeblood of the tree, carrying nutrients as the tree grows new buds in the spring… it’s associated with a time of growth. Then, after the age of plenty ended, came the Erdtree’s seeds, and its offspring:

“A golden seed, found at the base of an illusory tree. […] When the Elden Ring was shattered, these seeds flew from the Erdtree, scattering across the various lands, as if life itself knew that its end has come.” (Golden Seed)

“The Erdtree was once perfect and eternal, and thus was it believed that Erdtree seeds could not exist.” (Seed Talismans)

“Ceremonial staff depicting the Erdtree in its historic radiance. Wielded by the avatars who protect the Minor Erdtrees. The avatars, emerging in the wake of the Elden Ring's shattering, were determined to protect the withering Erdtree's offspring.” (Staff of the Avatar)

We see this exact theme reflected in Marika and her offspring: it begins with Queen Marika the Eternal (Eternal as the Erdtree was once thought to be), who produces a lineage of offspring that end up bringing about the ruin of the Shattering wars (just as the Erdtree seeds were thought to herald the ends times). Marika’s once powerful lineage has begun to fizzle out, with Godrick, an aged and frail man, being the last of the lineage. Essentially, the Lands Between are past their age of growth, expansion, and reproduction, and the Erdtree now withers.

Regarding reproduction, we also have this interesting song sung in Latin by the chanting winged dames (aka the singing bat ladies):

“O, locus ille, beatus quondam, nunc deminuit. Nos, destinatae matribus, nunc fiunt turpes. Ploravimus lacrimavimusque, sed nemo nos consolatur. Aureum cui irascebaris?”

“Alas, that land, once blessed, now has dimished. We, destined to be mothers, now become tarnished. We have lamented and we have shed tears. But no one consoles us. Golden one, at whom were you angry?”

The first line clearly refers to the Lands Between losing their vitality after the Shattering, and the last line wonders why Marika shattered the elden ring in the first place. But the bat ladies lament how what happened to the Lands Between made them unable to be mothers… why? it’s possible that the withering of the Erdtree which I just talked about also had a parallel effect on other beings’ vitality and fertility in the Lands Between, causing mass infertility? who knows

so DO you need birth control in the lands between? unclear. but maybe use it anyway just in case

[mrs-gauche]

Vows & Vengeance Episode 1

ALRIGHT GUYS! As always, I'm super late to the party (although for once, I actually have a good reason, which is that I'm currently kinda in the middle of renovating my place lol), and while I first listened to the episode on Thursday, I just wanted to let it sink in a bit and listen to it again a few times, to really appreciate all the details. :D So here are a trillion few notes on the first episode (spoiler, I loved it! <3333) and I hope this doesn't sound too jumbled, I haven't had a lot of sleep lately. 😂😂💀💀

- Ok, so my first reaction to the ending was basically: "OH MY GOD NOTHING CAN EVER GO RIGHT", "DAMN THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" and sobbing for Elio, I guess. lol

- My general thoughts: I loved it!! ❤️❤️❤️ I felt like it was gripping and immersive from the beginning, but also genuinely funny and moving at times! I think this first episode did a good job of setting up the plot, the pacing was good and I'm already invested in the new characters! The sound design and voice acting was top notch (albeit maybe a bit over the top and a little cheesy in a couple of scenes lol) and I absolutely LOVED the little nuggets of the Veilguard soundtrack we got throughout (Zimmer and Balfe confirmed!!). There are a few tiny nitpicks, but overall this was fantastic and correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard of a game being marketed with an audio drama before? 😂 But looking at Dragon Age's amazing voice cast (and the fact that they all made us develop a voice kink lmao), this makes so much sense and I need like a hundred more of these in the future. lol

Notes on the episode itself:

- The narrator reminds me so much of the ones in these old anime dubs. I was expecting him to be like "LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z". He got lost in the wrong dragon franchise. lol Really cool voice though!

- I LOOVE how it starts off with a minute of just the ambient sounds, chatters and music of the tavern, to really get that immersion, as if you just walked into this place yourself. - That new rendition of "Oh Grey Warden" hit me in the feels ngl.. ;-;

- Nadia just walking it and poisoning Olen to get answers was such a badass introduction to our main character! - I like how the narrative is neatly tied together by making this a retelling of what happened, starting off with loads of questions and by the end we're back in the present again.

- Nadia and Elio are so sweet nawww <3333 - Those sounds of Elio waking Nadia up were straight up ASMR. lol - The tune that's playing in the back here is sooo nice, I wonder if it's part of the new Love theme or something. 🥹❤️

- A sort of forbidden love between Liberati and Altus, oh this better end f*cking well!! 💀💀💀 - Well, that birthday got cancelled REAL fast. lol - I get Nadia's outbreak, but DAMN, she went OFF on him from like 0 to 100 in a heartbeat. lmao I guess something was bottling up for quite some time. - "I'm sorry" Oh no. I notice a certain pattern. *sob* - Again, that track that's playing here, wooow. Goosebumps! It's a super tragic rendition of the main theme. I just know this one's gonna hit so hard whenever that plays in Veilguard. 😭

- I wonder if the docks here are the same we've seen in screenshots. :3 - The soundtrack that's playing here reminds me SO MUCH of Unravel (one of my favorite tracks in recent years! <3333) - I like Nadia and Vik's dynamic. Super authentic. :D

- Nadia's reaction to the gold and then "TRIPLE the bag for delivery??" Yeah, Solas truly is the richest apostate hobo in all of Thedas. Those vaults from Trespasser come in handy now. Good thing the currency of old Elvhenan is apparently still valid. lol - Solas' quest of collecting every ancient powerful artifact continues. - Isn't this like the second time now that Solas indirectly hired someone to break into the Archives? lol They really need to improve that security. (Watch there being a quest in Veilguard where you have to break in there again, but it's impossible due to the amounts of guards now and Solas is like "Yeah, that might be my fault, sorry." lol)

- Super random thought, but judging by the sound design, there's gotta be lots of chickens running around in the streets of Minrathous. lol - NEVE!! <3333 (I'm sorry to anyone who had the wildest conspiracy theories about that teaser image and was expecting someone else. lmao) - So, wait. Does that mean Solas also anticipated Neve to talk to Elio? Or maybe someone else was supposed to do that but Neve got there first? lol

- Nadia and Vik have got to be the noisiest thieves I've ever heard. LMAO HOW did you manage to steal anything until now?? 💀💀💀 - I love how you keep hearing Vik laughing in the distance while distracting the guards. lol

- I wonder if all the turmoil could have been avoided if they just informed Elio about his ancestor's connection to the Eye and the Venatori from the get go. I guess he needed that push of knowing to never be able to return to his life in Tevinter to go along with it, but.. *sigh* poor Elio. - "I trust you." UHGGHH We were on the right track there. 😭😭 - That music AGAIN?? Chilllls!! - Nadia just casually destroying hundreds of years worth of relics. Love it. lol - "FLAME BLAST!!" Oh, this is so anime. lmaoo - Elio going from "WE'RE NOT DOING THIS" to fully enjoying beating up templars and go full criminal in a matter of seconds as soon as he sees his girl in her element. He loves her so much. <33

- "Who's the hat?" lol - That groan after the Dread Wolf name drop? Yeah, that was actually me. lmao - So, I assume this also ties in with Neve already knowing about Solas and his shenanigans in Minrathous when she met Varric in The Missing. Maybe it was this very incident that Neve was talking about? - Noooo, Vik!! 😭😭 (I knew you for like five minutes, but you made in impact. lol) - Sooo... I take it these "assassins" were actually Venatori, since they were the ones going after the Eye in the first place? Or am I stupid now? - "The eye went boom!" Love that delivery. lol - "She's trying to freeze the bay!" Yeah, Neve just DID that. What a boss. - "An elf with a fancy tongue." Oh, I know who THAT is. lmao

- "Me and you." 😭😭😭😭 You two are killing me. - That motif AGAIN. 😭😭😭😭😭 - Oh, for fuck's SAKE. Solas really always has the best flippin timing. They're all sweet and loving and here goes our disaster man "I'm about to ruin this couple's day so good." 💀💀💀 It's her BIRTHDAY, dammit!! - "Ominous looking chap in the road" lmao All I could think of there was THIS (for anyone who gets the reference LMAO)

- How is it that I knew he would appear in this episode from the teaser, and yet I still freaked out so hard. lmaoo After such a long time, it's like any second of new Solas content makes my heart skip a beat (or several). 😭😭 I still can't believe we're getting all this. 🥹

- Look, I may be a Solasmancer and have my biases, but godDAMN.. GDL is so good. HE IS SO GOOD. That Welsh accent. That rolling lilt. A voice like velvet that can be both so smooth and so sharp. There is just something about his performance that has you on the edge of your seat every time he's talking and I looove these little moments when you can so clearly hear that cheeky little smile in his voice. 💜

And it's so nice to hear him talk so calmly (well, at first at least lol) and kinda playful again, opposed to how super anxious he sounds at the beginning of Veilguard. 🥺 It's kinda interesting to compare this performance with DAI now, because now he's fully embracing the Dread Wolf role, and I keep thinking this is him after being isolated for the past ten years. ;-;

- Anway, so Nadia "unknowingly employed by the Dread Wolf" gets her pay from Richie Rich and girl, that would've been the moment to LEAVE. *sob* - "What other choice do we have?" Well, I dunno, RUN?? lmao - *chuckles* "I will demonstrate." Alright, I'm dead. Why did you say it like THAT? T_____T - Hearing Solas talk in elven after so long.. Dead again. Overkill. And yes, he's saying the exact same thing he said to Sera once. No, we don't know what it means. lol Maybe Sera IS actually an ancient magical artifact and he tried to trigger.. something. lol - That whole flippin dialogue. Solas please stop talking like an old witch trying to lure her prey into her lair. 💀 - "I do not play games." *screaming* - Honestly, I was like "NOOO WHY would you GO with himmm" but then I remembered, SHIT I WOULD FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE. Hell, I *HAVE* followed him anywhere. To Hell and back. 💀💀💀💀💀 - Solas' persuasion game is at maximum at all times.

- "Energy is neither dark nor light." Speak for yourself, Trickster God of In Between. - "It is the Fade. The Veil is fragile here."

- Solas finally gets to answer questions again, but Nadia is rude about it. 😂 Solas slightly approves AND disapproves. lol - "Kindly remove your blade from my neck."

- Those damn Venatori at it AGAIN with their hunt for magical McGuffins. After TN and the Missing, I'm starting to believe that is all Solas did in the last ten years, snatching one deadly toy out of the their hands after another. lmao - "And it is up to me to ensure we arrive at the best possible outcome." Oh, we're so doomed. - "You're sharper than you let on." Here we go again with the backhanded compliments. lol Ohhh, how I missed it.

"Some people confuse a reckoning as an ending." "I seek... regeneration."

Holy shit. The voice. The long pause. The delivery of that last line. Shivers down my spine. It feels eerie. Like he sounds.. desperate.. and maybe a little.. insane? lmao (That's how you start to talk if you've been separated from your soulmate for ten years 💔💔💔)

Ok look, I've seen a TON of people thinking that, because of the way he says this and him using the word "reckoning" ("For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens"), this HAS to be whatever part he took of Mythal speaking now that has taken over his mind or something. But.. I don't think so? lol

I honestly think this is just Solas who, after a thousand years of preparing to "heal" the world again that he broke, even after admitting to himself that this world and its people are in fact real and he has to destroy it, is SO close to getting there now and there's NO ONE who could possibly understand him or how he truly feels or what any of this or the Blights/Titans/spirits/gods/Veil even truly ARE, so no WONDER he sounds a little f*cking unhinged. 💀💀💀

The choice of words is very interesting though.. "Regeneration" is not something he has ever used, BUT it immediately made me think of the line "But still, some hope remains for restoration" in Trespasser. This is what google tells me:

Regeneration represents a form of upgrade from restoration. If restoration means “to make something well again,” regeneration, for some authors, means “to make it better” than a (supposed) origin condition.

Regeneration: "a renewal or restoration of a body, bodily part, or biological system (such as a forest) after injury or as a normal process/ or a spiritual renewal or revival"

You know.. if I read "restoration of a bodily part or biological system", you know what's the first thing that comes to my mind yet AGAIN.

Look, that Titan's body is SPLIT IN HALF and we know that this was kinda the catalyst for everything Solas did back then, so... I'll just leave that here and listen to rest of the episode now. lmaoo

- "And the eye will make us fix that?" "More or less." dksdjjgdkfvlf THE SMILE IN HIS VOICE. What does that even MEAN? What do you MEEEAN, SIR?? I would've RUN out of that cave SO flippin FAST. - "And you're sure this is safe?" "As safe as we make it." *literally two minutes later* "SOLAS, SOMETHING IS WROOONG!!" This is a goddamn comedy show. lmaoo - "Silence, please." lol at him still being polite. - "This is all to be expected!" *five seconds later* "WE MUST FLEE!" I BUST out laughing. WHY are you such a DISASTER. Nothing EVER goes right and yet you always keep trying, you fool, omg!! - I don't think we have ever heard Solas so distressed. lol Like, not even when Wisdom died or at the beginning of Veilguard. - "Take my hand!" I would've never thought to hear THAT Trespasser line repeated under those circumstances, but here we are. lmaooo - We know Solas is a hopeless romantic, so for him to see that sweet couple torn apart because of him, and him still trying to save Nadia, I'm not ok. - Solas being responsible for Elio getting banished to the Fade and him being trapped there not long after.. Do you believe in karma? 😂 - "I'M SORRY!" WHY DOES IT ALWAYS END WITH HIM SAYING THAT. 😭

- So.. uh... what even WAS the plan, exactly? lol Like, what was supposed to happen?? Maybe they should've asked a few more questions after all. 💀 - That following scene with Nadia all alone. I got chills again. That hit different. ;-;

- "Where can I find this wolf??" Oh, she is about to hunt him down. 😶 "...I'll be back." Nadia in full Terminator mode now. 😂 - How are she and Elio connected now though? How can she hear him? 🥺 And I can't help but think about whoever was left in the Fade in DAI again, too. 😭😭😭 - Not the credits making me almost sob AGAIN because of the music. 😭 It is so so good.

So there we are. Everything went wrong, a couple is doomed and Solas is sorry. So, nothing changed. LMAO Everything as usual. 💀💀💀 Solas, I swear, if you don't get these two back together again and pay Lavellan a visit afterwards, my Rook might rethink listening to your advice in Veilguard. lmao

I can't wait for that next episode! This was so much fun and an amazing start, and I'm so excited to hear all the other companions! :D ❤️❤️❤️

[tonythr]

Sometimes you are so sad you turn into a game construct, and that's ok

Part of the reason I love Hollow Knight is that you never know when a certain phenomenon is a part of the game's actual lore or simply a gameplay convenience, but most of the time it's up to you to decide anyway. Like, yeah, I know that looking too much into what should be just a game mechanic and/or a simple animation effect makes you more of a clown than a lore master, but, honestly, at this point the entire fandom wears rainbow wigs and squeaky red noses in order to forget about the pain of no Silksong, so no one has the right to stop me from having fun with some observations I made and how they might be intentional lore pieces. So yeah, what I'm trying to say is that this theory might be a bit of a stretch, but I think it's neat, so I'm gonna post it anyway.

Now, here's the question: what do you think these two have in common?

Both are very sad because they lost someone who was close to them.

2. Both give the Knight a Mask Shard when they die.

My theory here is that these two things are connected.

Now, Mask Shards are weird, lore-wise. The locations where they are found don't always... make much sense. Like ok, aside from the two that I mentioned above, we have ones that are found on top of ancient black statues — this implies that those shards are connected to (and probably were made by) the Ancient Civilisation.

We also have some shards that we get from various NPCs (Sly, Bretta, Seer) — those also make sense, since there's nothing wrong with those weird bugs possessing some ancient artifacts. But then we have Mask Shards that just kinda... float there.

No ancient pedestals. No reason to suggest someone actually owned them. No reason for them to be there aside from the game wanting to reward the player for something.

This is also true for some of the Vessel Fragments.

Although the fountain one is exceptional. The fragment is actually a part of the Pale King's statue, but it detaches once the needed amount of geo is reached. It looks like this statue actually 'gives' it to the Knight once it puts enough geo in the fountain. It could be something that has to do with PK's magic, or with the whole 'sacrifice' theme that's going on with him. Anyway, it's not hard to come up with an explanation for how that one works. What is more interesting is how these shards and fragments are created.

Because apparently this mf can just materialize them out of thin air.

Now, I KNOW this is probably just a nice animation to emphasize how cool of an award a mask shard is, but it also wouldn't be much of a stretch to say that what happens here is Grubfather actually manipulating Soul to create this shard for the Knight. I mean, Grubs do possess some sort of 'holy strength' that was never properly explained to us (that's why I'm hoping to see some grubs in Silksong), and one of the two charms created from their power is something that straight-up gives the Knight extra Soul. If we don't count the Shaman charms, which were used only to extract and use Soul more efficiently, the only other charm that does that is Kingsoul, the embodiment of the union between two Pale Beings. So yeah, the Grubs are totally OP, and Grubfather probably does create a Mask Shard out of Soul here.

Which only proves the fact that both Mask Shards and Vessel Fragments are made out of Soul. I mean, come on, the Knight literally consumes them just like it consumes each of the spells and the Soul of its enemies, AND it takes Soul to restore broken masks. I think it's safe to assume that those ancient masks that the Knight is using to strengthen its shell are made out of Soul, or at least some material that is heavily tied to Soul in some way.

Another fact is that those masks and vessels have big connections to the Ancient Civilisation. Aside from the obvious things like the fragment/shard statues that I mentioned earlier having clear similarities to the Soul totems, there's this whole thing with the engravings on those masks and vessels having a bunch of connections with magical secrets of the Ancient Civilisation...

What I'm getting at here is that the bugs of the Ancient Civilisation probably knew the secrets of manipulating Soul and used those secrets to create masks (for protection) and Soul Vessels (for containing Soul), as well as Soul Totems. It means there is a way a Mask can be created out of Soul, aside from what we see the Knight do when it heals (which is an interesting process, btw - when a mask breaks, the Knight can restore it using Soul, but it can't create new masks to have infinite HP, so the masks it collects must have unique properties that prevent them from being completely destroyed and instead allow them to be recovered after breaking). And maybe that process was already shown to us.

Ok, now I'm actually talking about my theory again. See, the reason I think there's more to these two moments than just a simple reward being given to us by the game is because there's some overlapping philosophical (symbolical?) motifs that connect Brooding Mawlek and Grey Mourner AND possibly give us a glimpse into the secrets of Soul discovered by the Ancient Civilisation. I'm talking about what Soul itself might represent as a sorta metaphysical concept (I don't know how to say that properly... Just bear with me pls).

In the world of Hollow Knight, there are many philosophical concepts that give depth to the nature of various in-world phenomenons. For example, the Void is heavily tied to regrets, perhaps dark memories that keep us from moving forward. That's why it makes sense that, ultimately, Pale King faced his demise at the hands of the Void - he sacrificed thousands of his own children in order to save Hallownest and failed anyway, so there is no way he could avoid (pun intended) being overwhelmed by his regrets about this whole thing.

The Soul is the power that contrasts the Void.

It's implied by Jiji that, when the Knight leaves behind its Shade, it starts to drain *hope* from it.

This line was probably left there to explain this game mechanic:

When the Knight dies, it can no longer fill its Soul meter to the full, until it finds and defeats its Shade. This implies that Soul represents *hope* in contrast to the Void representing regrets.

If we accept this assumption, we can see that it makes sense how:

The White Palace is shown as a beautiful, calm, hopeful place despite it being filled with thorns and sawblades (that might or might not be a metaphor for the PK's pain of trying to hide his mistakes and regrets).

The shamans' dying thoughts are often their last hopes of being free, being heard etc.

The Soul is literally what gives the bugs' bodies the energy to move.

I feel soulless when I wake up at 7 a.m.

All things considered, it's easy to see how Soul is something that might represent such things as hope, motivation, faith - all those feelings that make a person feel whole.

And when the fate forces someone into situations where those things are lost, their inner self breaks. When something separates us from our loved ones for a whole eternity, leaving us as lonely, empty shells of our former selves, our soul hardens.

We already know that masks in this game directly correspond to the person's self, their ability to define themselves as who they are. A mask is literally the core of the person's mind.

And when a person breaks, when their hope becomes eternal sadness, when the essence that animates their body becomes a solid rock, their mind shatters, leaving only a single shard of what should have been a whole mask.

Perhaps, something like that also happened to the bugs of the Ancient Civilisation? Or maybe they found a way to control that sadness, just like they found a way to manipulate the power of regrets? They look like a bunch of cool goth bugs, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was their thing.

TL;DR: ancient masks that the Knight uses are made out of Soul, and Soul is a power that represents hope. When a person experiences a feeling of strong loneliness and hopelessness, their mind literally breaks, and their Soul literally hardens, resulting in the creation of Mask Shards. The bugs of the Ancient Civilisation might have known this.

Kinda edgy.

I like it.

[draconic-distress]

Ok apple pen jumpscare aside, I have a LOT of thoughts on the ghost craft/holy horror mansion trailer, so I may as well make a kinda deep dive post like I did with the Legends ZA announcement

this is gonna be long as fuck so be warned, we're diving deep

Ok so first of all… I think we all knew that it was gonna be yokai watch’s spiritual successor, but I don’t think leading with that is a great call, because people will expect more of the same, and I don’t think that’s entirely fair to this new game they’re making.

That being said, let’s get into the actual game itself, because holy shit this is a lot to take in at once and we still know like nothing.

So the first thing we get introduced to right off the bat is our protagonist, Ten Lordland, which is kind of a stupid name so I’m hoping that the localization gives him a better one

^ this is the bitch. He kinda reminds me of Hailey-Anne with how uppity and all over the place he is; we don’t have much substance on him as a character but he seems like a good kid

One thing we do know about him though is that he’s Loaded, and that his grandma is the landlord of the titular holy horror mansion, which is apparently also a gate to the underworld (giving Mt. Wildwood, but this is where the comparisons end)

We also have a better look at smaller areas of the apartment complex, or at least one small room where he whole thing starts. The camera in the third pic shows up a couple times, so I think it’ll be important in some way, especially considering this is where our ‘ghosts’ comes from:

So there’s three types, and honestly this is where the game shines the most in my opinion and really separates itself from yokai watch conceptually. they play into the concept of ‘ghost crafting’ really well:

First off is the green ghost, whose power we saw at the end of the last level 5 vision. Basically this ghost combines with objects and brings them to life, and that’s where the main critter collecting aspect comes in. I really like how they're handling this, it's a really fun idea

This is also where we get our new mascot aka pillow jibanyan:

She’s cute, her design feels very lively but not messy or too much. I hope we get to see more of her personality in game, I like her :)

Anyways back to the ghosts, now we have the blue one, whose thing is making chimera ghosts out of random objects. This is in fact where that fuckass apple pen reference happens

I like this mechanic, it’ll be fun just making fuck all from whatever’s in your inventory. Still, we’ll come back to the pen pineapple apple pen thing and its implications (because yes I’m not done with this)

And lastly is the pink ghost, whose power is… making dungeons?? I guess??

It’s cool and I like the idea of themed dungeons from everyday objects and the cool gameplay that will come of it, and I adore the cake themed dungeon, but it sticks out like a sore thumb, mostly because it’s the least purposeful of the three.

The green and blue ones have mechanics that make sense within the gameplay of being a critter collector, but the pink one’s uniqueness in its mechanics makes it feel weird.

I’m guessing that we’ll get more of an explanation of what it’s being used for in the actual game, so I’m looking forward to that. And also finding out whether the ‘something important’ Ten mentions is story related or if it’s just the thing at the end of each dungeon.

And then we hit the story aspects… ooh boy I know Yokai Watch and creature collectors in general aren’t really popular for their story, but this one just feels strange to me.

First off, our villain is the “De Ville Corp” and the "Dakarymen", and I mean I’m glad they’re not being subtle with it, we all knew what happened with YKW3, though its a bit on the nose; it makes some sense this game is clearly more family friendly/“kiddie.” But I think weirdly what irks me the most is…

why is this rich kid beefing with other rich kids? Like dude you’re fucking loaded your grandma literally owns the only known(?) gate to the underworld and makes bank off of other people living in this apartment complex that you live off of, what do you mean the villain is capitalism in a game where the protagonist is Rich.

Ok that one’s more nitpicky but still an odd decision imo. Anyways into the villain’s tactics, the main thing they do is they sell 'ghost items' which do... something. i dunno they're evil and hurt people ig maybe it'll get expanded on more later

there's also other wild ghosts that you have to find with your yokai wat-- i mean this shitty camera guy whose design is good on paper but bland in execution, and you fight those guys. i'm gonna say it now as much as i don't want to, i don't think this game is gonna beat the pokemon clone allegations in the west

i don't doubt that the battle system will be unique but at first glance i just have a feeling that people are gonna compare it to pokemon the same way they did with yokai watch, and it's a shame.

now that we've gone over the whole trailer, let's get into my three biggest concerns for this game because yes i sure do have opinions about it

first thing i wanna talk about that they said up-front is the fact that this is gonna become a HUGE multimedia series. ok. kind of horrifying if we're getting that immediately. i don't think it's such a good idea to have a brand new ip that's not even ready yet be put up to the expectation of this behemoth of a new series. that sets the bar pretty high, and there's a lot of worry of this getting too much and crashing from the pressure before its time like what happened to yokai watch

the second thing i've got which i think is a bit nitpicky but i want to mention anyways: "the theme of this title is 'family'," which means it will be "an experience for the whole family to enjoy together." this worries me a little because it gives the implication this is gonna be a more 'kiddie' game in a way. like the trailer was exciting and fun, but i could barely keep up with how fast and in your face it was even with how simple and straight forward is. (someone described it as like a tik tok brainrot vid and i think that does make sense). I hope that making it more appealing to all ages doesn't sacrifice Holy Horror Mansion's heart (we'll get to that) and willingness to go to darker places.

last thing, which i didn't know when i started writing this post, is the use of AI in like 90% of the trailer. because holy shit there's a lot.

look at that. gross. i knew something felt weird about Ten but I couldn't put my finger on it until i found out about the AI thing. this damn kid is the most damning evidence, at least for me since it's the easiest to see on him. and that's not even close to everything that could be AI, that's just the fucking protagonist!

I think deep down we all saw this coming considering Hino's previous statements on AI and the fact that he used a bunch of shitty ai yokai watch mockups as an example. Obviously if this game does use AI for all this stuff we're not gonna fucking support it, but this is still a very very VERY early proof of concept, and anything could happen between now and the game actually making any progress; until we see more I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic about the direction this game goes. Either Hino gets his shit together or we're not playing Holy Horror House because what the fuck.

to be honest, I think it's ok that yokai watch as a major franchise is ending. it kinda sucks since we've been waiting like five years since y school, but i do think it's over and that this is gonna be a fun new ip that can stand on its own from yokai watch. for a series whose first game's resolution was to live and let go of something you love, I think we should take a page from yokai watch 1's book more often. i'm excited to see where Holy Horror Mansion goes from here on out! also we still have puni puni and Jaen is there so I'm satisfied enough I guess.

anyways tl;dr, Holy Horror House looks fun and has a lot of potential as a brand new ip, i'm afraid for its future as a multimedia giant and/or an ai shitshow, and Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time is my most anticipated game of 2025

[vvooper]

alright. next up in my ffvii character pokemon teams: it's Tifa Time

tifa's team was pretty straightforward for me to come up with. details under the cut as always

tifa's sprite is a recolor of the gen 4 battle girl. seemed perfect for her

species: lopunny

ability: cute charm

item: muscle band

moves: close combat, return, power-up punch, captivate

ok I'll just address the obvious: there is some meta commentary going on here with my pokemon choice. people online can be very not normal about tifa's appearance. and I get it, I fully agree that Tifa Pretty, but let's not lose sight of the important fact that she can kill a man (and much scarier opponents) with her fists. I didn't give stargazer lopunnite here because that felt a little unfair to all the other characters who didn't get megas, but I definitely had mega lopunny in mind for the theme. the name is not really related, but I felt like it was a good name for a pokemon.

the ability cute charm and captivate kind of follow in the same vein. but muscle band, close combat, and power-up punch are all about kickin ass. I chose return because tifa is kind of a people pleaser, if that makes sense

species: mudsdale

ability: stamina

item: leftovers

moves: high horsepower, body press, smack down, rest

I chose a mudsdale because of tifa's cowgirl outfit from when she was a teen. yknow for a long time I thought that that was some kind of phase tifa went through. it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that the entirety of nibelheim is a weird fusion of nordic and wild west influences. the name comes from one of tifa's limit breaks but again is not super related.

the stamina ability is for tifa being in great shape. it also works well with body press. high horsepower is just for the horse theme

species: togekiss

ability: serene grace

item: berry juice

moves: air slash, aura sphere, water pulse, roost

for seventh heaven, I had to go with an angel shaped pokemon. there are... surprisingly few of those.

the serence grace ability is yet another reference to tifa being in great physical shape. for some reason, the thing that immediately comes to mind is her summon animation from remake and rebirth. she does this cartwheel maneuver and the whole thing is so smooth and impressive.

berry juice is a god awful item, but I really wanted seventh heaven to have a beverage.

aura sphere felt like a good representation of tifa's chi mechanic in remake and rebirth. water pulse is another choice vaguely related to seventh heaven being the local watering hole. similar for roost, as it's a place for people to gather and recharge (or get plastered, but whatever)

species: palafin

ability: zero to hero

item: punching glove

moves: jet punch, drain punch, focus punch, bulk up

a dolphin pokemon is mandatory for tifa! now that I'm looking at it, maybe I should have named it dolphin flurry from remake and rebirth rather than dolphin blow from og, but too late.

the set is just pure punchy woman. punching glove powers up all the punching moves. as an added bonus, jet punch is a priority move, which is fitting because of how speedy tifa is. as for bulk up... square I'm BEGGING you to give tifa more muscle. her arms should not look like that!

species: medicham

ability: pure power

item: life orb

moves: close combat, zen headbutt, bullet punch, counter

premium heart is tifa's ultimate weapon. I chose medicham as another pokemon that can be related to her chi mechanic.

the life orb item and counter refer to premium heart's special mechanic. it deals more damage the higher tifa's limit gauge is, but in order to fill the limit gauge, tifa must take damage.

species: urshifu (rapid strike)

ability: unseen fist

item: choice band

moves: close combat, surging strikes, brick break, u-turn

tifa's legendary pokemon is urshifu, named zangan after her martial arts instructor. I've taken all of the pokemon artwork for these posts from pokemon home, but apparently it only has one urshifu icon for both forms, in which it just kinda... stands there. rest assured I chose the rapid strike form, both for tifa's speed and for the water type.

honestly the set itself is not super thematic, just fully geared toward physical power from martial arts-inspired moves.

previous entries found here. aerith is up next

[galactic-glamour-girl-posts]

Some Highlights from the Animaniacs Series Bible

Click here to read the whole thing!

So apparently Yakko was originally gonna have a habit of repeating himself. He doesn't do this in the actual show but I think it's very childlike and cute.

Obviously these did make it to the show. Not much to talk about here but I wanted to show them anyway because they're so cute!

OK so this one is interesting because the original show straight up scrapped this idea, which makes sense. It'd be a little redundant to have both this and the gag bag be a recurring bit. However, Dot does actually do something similar to this in the reboot, she turns her bow (and her tail) into a chainsaw!

This one is interesting for the same reason as before, it's never mentioned in the original show, but it IS referenced in the reboot (in "That's Not The Issue", Wakko claims he wants "more meatballs in pisgheti!") Once is a probably a coincidence, but twice just leads me to believe they were both intentional references.

I wonder if this was meant to indicate Wakko and Dot's respect for their elder sibling or if he was literally originally meant to be able to control them with the snap of his fingers.

Yeah this didn't really make it to the show. I can't recall many times Dot gave the "special friend" the benefit of the doubt sooner than her brothers. I'm glad this aspect was changed; the one girl in the group being the most rational or sensible is overdone.

No prizes for guessing why the second version was scrapped. Although it's interesting that Dot was originally just going to refer to herself as a Warner Brother sometimes.

This would've been a really fun recurring gag, sad that they scrapped it.

Now this one's interesting because Wakko's temper DID make it to the show, it's just downplayed.

His reaction to getting an F in "Chalkboard Bungle" is probably the only leftover of the idea of him having a REALLY explosive temper.

These basically summarize why I like the Warners' segments so much; at their core they're about three inseparable young goofballs refusing to conform or just sit there and take it, and instead embracing what makes them different to make things better (or worse, for those who had it coming).

I know they're funny talking animals who do things like sleep in ball pits and burp classical songs and keep freaky monsters as pets, but their segments legitimately have meaningful themes; such as embracing individuality, karma, retaliation, childhood and how we treat children throughout it...you know just basic, silly stuff like that...

I'm not looking too deeply into it, I swear 🙃

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Themes in Pit Babe (or why the racing omegaverse show is deeper than you think) - Part 2

Part 1 here. Let's keep this thought train rolling.

Part 2: Self-Worth & Relationships

To start, a few notes about self-worth.

We're all deeply familiar with the common refrains around finding your own sense of self-worth without relying on others. Think of the whole RuPaul "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" kind of thing.

Which on the surface is a fine message, and absolutely it is a good thing to put time into self-reflection and finding value in your inherent self.

But of course this is real life, and as lovely as it would be to be able to catchphrase ourselves to that perfect place, it is much more nuanced than that.

For one, many of us who have fairly solid senses of self-worth (and I do include myself in that category) will still have days where we wake up and feel like a completely horrible unlovable mess of a person. This is called being a human. It's normal to have ebbs and flows, and peaks and valleys. We're on a journey, y'all, and when it comes to growth and self-actualization, no one makes it all the way to the end.

For two, humans are social creatures, and we cannot help but be influenced by who is around us in our lives. You can have the strongest sense of self-worth in the world, but you end up surrounded by people who treat you like shit all the time - it's gonna have an impact.

And, of course, we have to also acknowledge the impact of being part of marginalized communities, and how insecurities around worthiness can become very internalized by the constant reinforcement of bias and oppression.

All of that to say, who is in your life can be deeply important when it comes to self-worth. You shouldn't be seeking a relationship with someone just to feel like you matter, but the person/people you are around should absolutely make you feel like you do.

Ok, let's get back to Pit Babe!

Pete/Way/Kenta

Ha, no, I don't actually think we'll get a throuple here, but I do find the dynamics really interesting. Both Way & Kenta are characters I would identify as having some of the poorest self-worth in the show, to the extent that they have long been incapable of making their own decisions, and primarily follow orders from Tony.

Way seems to do it more out of despair that Tony's will cannot be defied, while Kenta is heart-breakingly still in a place of needing Tony's approval.

And then we have Pete. Who apparently has a bit of a sad pathetic man addiction. But like I said before, the key to Pete is empathy. He knows their pain.

I'm going to write more later about the critical role Pete plays in the show's theme around self-determination, but for now, I just want to point out how vital he is in showing up for both Way & Kenta, and telling them they matter, and the choices they make matter too.

They've done shitty things, and other characters are rightfully furious and distrustful of them. Pete is the one who said, "you still have value as a human being, don't let Tony define you". He knows what it's like to walk out of your abuser's house and determine a new way to find value and purpose. He's key to Way leaving his place of grief and despair and working to rebuild a path to Babe's trust again. And when Kenta gains the confidence to defy Tony next episode (it's being foreshadowed pretty hard), it'll be because of Pete as well.

Sometimes when we cannot see the value in ourselves, it can mean the world for someone to take our hand and speak it out loud for us.

Alan/Jeff

Ah, my sweet, sweet secondary couple. I love these two. Jeff may have a special ability that is considered valuable, but it's also made him feel utterly unlovable. And then he meets this man, who loves taking underdogs under his wing and giving them chances. And this man is being so kind and so sweet. And even when he learns the truth, learns that loving someone like Jeff comes with more than the usual hardship and challenges, he doesn't hesitate for a single second.

This is part of why I think the age gap works so well here, because this kind of optimism in someone younger might come across as naive. But Alan is not naive. He's experienced, and he knows that someone like Jeff is not going to cross his path ever again. He is going to love Jeff unconditionally, and we can already see the inner shine coming out for our poor vision-addled boy.

Everyone has their flaws, and dark sides. But we are still worthy of loving.

Sonic/North

You thought I wasn't going to give a section to our delightful, one-brain-celled, won't-admit-they-are-a-couple couple?

These boys may be uncomplicated, but their existence as a unit is a big part of what makes them such lovely examples of self-worth. Not all of us are lucky enough to find that person who fits with us like a puzzle piece, but these two have. They may vastly underestimate their importance to each other (see Sonic's face when North jumps in to take hits for him), but the consistency they have in their relationship, and the care they show for each other, gives them such a solid ground for being their authentic little idiot selves.

Never underestimate the value of having a person who you can be your authentic silly weird self with.

Charlie/Babe

And of course, we have the beating heart of our show. Though on the surface he comes across as too-cool-for-school, Babe so deeply needs to feel loved. He is achingly desperate for it.

It's all well and good to tell Babe that he should love himself. That he should feel fine and worthy as he is. But his external success is not enough. He needs intimacy, and trust, and someone to baby the hell out of him. To make him feel like he's worth loving.

But between his own fears, founded by his father's abandonment and his childhood in a cold and neglectful house, and Way's constant reinforcement that he couldn't trust anyone, he was trapped.

And then Charlie shows up. A man who sees no value in himself, but sees the world in Babe. Can you imagine what that experience was like for Babe? To be in a world of ice and have a being of warmth & comfort come and wrap him up in his arms?

As for Charlie, he's doesn't seem to be in a place yet where he truly understands how much he has become Babe's world. But I expect he will get there. He's tenacious and committed. He just needs to realize that others see the value in him that he sees in them.

Self-worth doesn't mean acting strong all the time. We deserve sweetness & softness and having someone we can be a scared babygirl around.

The X-Hunter Crew

Oh, no way am I just talking about romantic relationships here. I love romance, don't get me wrong, but there's plenty of folks who can live quite well and happily without romantic relationships. Romance is put on a pedestal in our society, but it really shouldn't be. Platonic relationships, on the other hand, are incredibly vital, and I wish they were given more status in our world.

And this is what makes the entire crew so important. It's not just about the individuals, or the couples - it's about all of them, as a unit. Call them a team, call them a family, whatever you like.

Because Babe may need someone like Charlie in his life, but he definitely needs the X-Hunter crew. I firmly believe the care he has been given by Alan (and even Way to an extent, when he was in supportive friend mode) is what made him even able to take those first steps with Charlie.

And the family remains critical after he thinks Charlie is dead - the care and love the team give him is vital to him being able to continue functioning. Alan, North, & Sonic give him physical touch and comfort, make sure he's eating, and literally pick him up off the floor when he can't go on.

Just like Sonic & North give each other a stable place to stand, this is what the entire X-Hunter family is able to do for each other. Despite an unfortunate tendency to miss when Jeff gets kidnapped, overall, they look out for each other. Everyone has their place, and knows they're important to the team.

Self-worth is never going to be just about the individual, or the group, but the interweaving of the two. Strong self-worth can help us feel more connected to others, but our connections to others can make us feel more worthy.

A couple of additional thoughts:

Dean let his insecurity override his sense of inherent self-worth. Alan wants to help Dean do better, to push him to grow and develop. And yes, you can debate the sense of putting Charlie into the race, Alan is definitely not perfect. But also denying someone an opportunity is not inherently bad, or a sign of lack of love or trust. Challenge is where growth happens, and people who genuinely want the best for us understand this.

Instead of turning to his family and being vulnerable about how deeply hurt he was, Dean turned away. He let his insecurity and narrow focus on self-worth through racing achievement override everything else. He didn't remotely consider what anyone else might be feeling. He didn't think about what his actions would cost the family long-term. At any point, prior to attempted murder, if he had come to Alan, there would have been compassion. But he pushed it to the point where there was no turning back.

Contrast that with Kim, who knows he has value regardless of whether he wins races, or how he gets treated by his racing crew. He has enough self-worth to not making everything in his life about himself. Which is why he was able to fit in instantly with the X-Hunter team. He's willing to come in, find his place in their little family puzzle, and commit to being there for everyone else just as much as they will be there for him (once we've all moved past their well-intentioned, but failed rescue attempt).

Relationships are essential, but can't magically fix us - we still have to put in the work.

[blastthatsadfm]

I do believe that there's one theme in which HnK's ending dropped the ball and dropped it hard and that is "grief". Though more than half of the story, grief was the most important theme that drove the character's actions, personality and society rules.

What distinguishes the gem society since the beggining is that they are rare and they are few, despite being immortal. They quite literally only have each other. Therefore, when one is taken to the moon, their partner and siblings feels devastating loss.

Because they are so very few, they form their personalities, desires and anxieties over their comparison towards each other. Because they are stuck in a cycle with the lunarians, without being able to move forward, that makes it for unhealthy relationships and partnerships like the diamonds or lapis and ghost/cairn. Phos cant shake their guilt over Antarcticite's loss, since Antarc was unique, both to Phos and to Sensei. No replacement, no way to find peace without their return. By each loss, they change forever. Yellow Diamond was unable to move forward healthily, their devastating amount of losses making they lose all sense of meaning. Of course Phos is driven to fix that if they can. Phos motivation becomes to erase that grief., especially after learning its meagninless, all a ploy to get Sensei to act.

Now, how it was handled: the grief as theme was beautifully worked on Pho's final chapters, including their grief for themselves and who they used to be.

But with the gems? Unearned, no climax, no meaningful reencounters.

Ghost's obsession for Lapis and how it distorted Cairgorn's existence in Earth. Not touched upon, even when they are apparently "back" and Lapis isnt.

Dia seems to feel nothing for Phos, who's always been their friend. Neither does Cinnabar, who had a genuine connection with Phos.

I felt nothing seeing Antarc back with sensei, since their meeting was visually mirroring the unhealthy dynamic of Aechmea and Cairngorn. Antarc have been stuck on time as a memory, no progress or development. Sensei, who was actually developed, no longer had our empathy at that point since he seemingly accepted Pho's suffering.

Unreal. Surreal. ... Rushed writing. If I could have seen those characters actually moving on without a deus ex machina - quite literally a machine that erased their memories and erased their hundred years long pain - I wouldnt have felt it was such a disservice of the build up of the characters until then, but we didnt get to see it because it would have made no sense, writing-wise. So Dia and Cinnabar and Sensei and Euclase dont actually care at all about Phos's pain? They also dont care at all about Rutile's and Yellow's inability to move forward? Nobody gives a shit, then. Phos was the only one in that society with compassion? Ok, then. I cant even call it bad writing because I know for a fact it was rushed writing. The timeskips, too.

The manga wants you to feel that affections no longer hold meaning since the hundreds of years that pass and how everybody has to move on but this is actually against what was established over the gem's society and raising. They did used to wait hundreds of years for each other to come back.

[abysskeeper]

What is that draws you to Ruby x Oscar? (I mean it on a 'pls infodump me' vibe.)

I enjoy committing to the bit of less popular ships in RWBY and suffering the consequences

@flytehwire Ok, seriously, to answer this properly I need to explain something about myself. When I am looking for character pairings, I am looking for, in order of importance: 1. Harmonious themes and rhetoric, 2. Character interactions, and 3. Other, extenuating factors. While other factors can sometimes determine how I view a pairing (romantic/platonic/friend/familial/etc) and character interactions can override the thematic element, I am primarily looking for those sweet, sweet story beats.

So, when you give me two kids carrying the weight of massive legacies they feel they have to fulfill, stepping into leadership roles neither were prepared for, and throw in a smattering of identity issues to boot? Yeah, I'm hooked 100%. These two are important to each other on a base narrative level, before even considering we see they're important to each other in their interactions throughout the show. Their arcs mirror each other, but are different enough that they compliment each other and are not going through the exact same thing.

By which I mean, both are struggling with the very same things listed above, but slightly to the left of each other to make them different enough that it makes them both unique and interesting in their own rights. For sake of time and ease of answering, I'm not going to fully cite my sources, but it became increasingly apparent (especially through v9) that Ruby's whole issue is attempting to follow the legacies of those from before her, starting with the general, Hunter/Huntress ideal and the heroes of stories in the early volumes, and then moving over to the SEWs and her mother in the later volumes. A lot of untangling in this personal arc for her revolves around reconciling the fairy tales she believed in and what is being asked of her in reality, and then determining who she is and what she stands for when it becomes apparent those ideals are more lofty dreams and reality is much more complicated. In essence, Ruby's arc is finding who she was when stripped of everything she believed as a child, and we saw that exactly throughout v9 ("What are you?" // "What is a Huntress?" ultimately boil down to "Who is Ruby Rose?")

Oscar, conversely, I would argue, already had some sense of who he was at the start. Sure, he may have wanted more and was unable to voice exactly what "more" was, but he's young...who honestly knew what they wanted to do with their life when they were 14? Regardless, his arc is less about asking who he is and is more about the fear of losing himself entirely now that he's part of the Ozcarnation line--and thus, it's also more about proving who he is to the world around him as everyone else assumes he's just another copy/paste of Oz. Oscar had to have a strong handle of his own identity at the start simply in order to beat the "he's just Ozpin" allegations, which he eventually did do (with some help from Oz's disappearing act).

And that isn't to say that there aren't echoes of each other's themes as well. Ruby very much does lose herself and must reassert who she is at her core (most evident in v9, but definitely starting in v7). Oscar very much does have to figure out who he is in the Ozcarnation line and how he specifically wants to handle situations (most prominent in the "Her name...is Jinn" decision in v6 and his actions through v7, but also metatextually hinted at when he talks to Ironwood at the end of v7 holding himself and acting like Ozpin, and then getting shot, and then in v8 when he tries to act like Ozma and Salem directly calls him out. It's almost like fate is punishing him because he's supposed to think and act like Oscar, and not try to be those who came before him...). And I think ultimately that's what makes them fun for me, they revolve around this overarching theme of identity in the face of legacies and destinies and leadership and each take a piece to compliment the other.

Of course, that doesn't mean they have to be romantic. And that's correct, they don't! Full transparency, I honestly wasn't fully onboard with Rosegarden until the end of v7/start of v8. Oscar's blush at getting rescued was the first time I felt fully vindicated over a ship, but the ending of v7 is really the beginning for the end of me I think. It was at that point where it became apparent their themes were merging and then splitting off again into the projected trajectories they're on now. And, in terms of interaction, throughout v7 and v8, Ruby and Oscar are shown repeatedly to be in sync with each other and trusting each other (even when they don't necessarily agree with each other!) All of those moments for me boiled down to one single, striking fact: because of what they're going through and how similar each struggle was, Ruby and Oscar to me are the only two characters in the show who could understand each other on a deeper level.

(And as an aside, the release of 'Until the End' and 'Fear' being the last two songs of that volume, and clearly being a Ruby song and an Oscar song respectively, completely altered my brain chemistry. That's a separate 3k essay, but the call and response between 'Fear's' "Who will you see there in the darkness? // When no one is watching who will you be? When you're afraid and everything changes will you see a stranger? // Feel proud or betrayed?" vs 'Until the End's' "I promise I’ll be here until...Our story has been told // 'Til our bodies break down every door // 'Til we find what we’ve been looking for // And stare with pride into the face of fear // In our finest hour, I’ll be standing here // And should we fall to darkness // This power, I will harness // I promise I’ll be here until the end" just does things to me on a personal level).

Others come close. Jaune and Weiss both have similar arcs about breaking legacies as well (Weiss with her family and Jaune with...presumably his family, if not his personal views on what he should be and on his promises to Pyrrha), but they're both on a far more personal and less world-shaping level than Ruby and Oscar. Blake as well, with reclaiming her identity, but that as well is a little more personal and also more about regaining what was "stolen" by Adam, so to speak, than finding herself altogether. And Penny is more about learning everything altogether and learning about who she can and cannot trust more than about who she is at her core. And, as an aside, I am a multi-shipper. I do like several of these pairings with Ruby, and Oscar and Penny is an utterly fascinating concept to me.

The reason why Ruby and Oscar come out on top for me is because at the end of the day, they're still the only two who can understand and empathize with each other on the deepest level. They're the two that appear to be entirely in sync with each other. And they're also the two currently slated to be running the show in the next generation. And if there's one thing I love more than seeing my power couple ships completely in love, it's seeing those two characters entirely and implicitly understanding and trusting each other.

This is of course glossing over a lot too. Their scenes together are often pretty striking: the dojo scene in v5 (Oscar admitting he's scared, Ruby for the first time really opening up about Penny and Pyrrha at The Fall of Beacon), the cane scene in v6 (Ruby being the only one to comfort Oscar and reaffirm that he isn't Oz), Oscar's panic during the fight with Cordo, like...every scene they had in v7, Oscar's blush in v8 and the almost hug that wasn't, and of course, THE scene in v9 (and another 3k essay could be written on why that had to be Oscar, though most of the starting points on my opinion for that are above). They also have some other dichotomies going on in their rhetoric, with the silver/gold symbolism and the sun/moon symbolism; and the extra info in the show with the "Warrior in the Woods" fairy tale and Oscar's allusion to the Little Prince. But several other people have written far better analyses on those than I could ever do currently, and this is getting long enough as is.

But yeah, tl;dr thematically and rhetorically complimentary kids just trying to do their best, figure themselves out, and save the world? Yeah, I wanna see them cuddle and comfort and rely on each other in the way they only can with the other.

[mrsbakashi]

Can we please get one of Kakashi significant other going to the hospital sick while Kakashi goes to work. Than the significant other does testing at the hospital but the results won’t be in till later so Sakura will send the results home with Kakashi so she goes home. Later in the day Sakura drops the paperwork off to Kakashi & says “congrats your going to be a father” and Kakashi has to let his significant other know? If that makes sense! Thank you ❤️

this is so cute! i wanna thank you for requesting this (and trusting me to write it) 💕 because it's holiday season i turned it into a holiday-themed thing, i hope you don't mind!

this was super fun and sweet to write (tho i still don't feel 100% with it).

🎄CHRISTMAS GIFT 💝

words: 3K

a/n: i took inspiration for pregnancy symptoms + reasons from google and my friends (specially one with pos who got pregnant the same way), but i'm sorry for anything (?). also, this is unedited and english is hard.

⚠️ c.w.: afab reader, unplanned pregnancy, pos (polycystic ovary syndrome), christmas, the mention of sex while pregnant.

you flushed the toilet again and got up, opening the faucet and washing your face. the mirror told you you looked like a mess, absolutely horrible. deep dark circles, pale, dry lips, and, besides that, it felt like your body was fighting against itself and apparently it was winning - or losing. you lost count of how many times you threw up in the last couple of days and you were feeling all over the place. such a great way to feel on christmas eve.

kakashi opened the door of the bathroom, worried about you.

"come on, let's go to the hospital." you could tell he was worried, but tried to maintain his voice firm.

"no, i'm ok! i'm just a little dizzy, that's all."

there was no way in hell you would go to the hospital. you hated hospitals! no one has ever received good news in a hospital. best case scenario was "you're not sick" which is not exactly a good new, it didn't change anything. a good new would be "hey, we just discovered you're immune to every disease that has ever existed and you're practically immortal" or something similar. also there was the smell, the freaking white walls white everything. ugh, absolutely not!

"you've been throwing up for four days now, please, y/n."

"mind your fucking business, rokudaime." you told him, pushing him aside to leave the bathroom.

"you're my fucking business."

"how sweet." your voice was filled of sarcasm. you weren't usually this mean, but kakashi sounded like a broken record, insisting you went to the hospital when you clearly didn't want to.

you sat on the bed and closed your eyes, trying to make the world stop spinning. your mind was desperate trying to remember if you'd eaten something that could've caused this. maybe a new virus? either way, your body would get rid of it naturally, how it's supposed to do.

"no, really, go to work. i just need to eat something and lay down a bit." you tried to calm him down.

"you said that yesterday and the day before that, i can't leave you like this, come on."

"kakashi, drop it, i'm not going to the hospital!" he was starting to get on your nerves.

"i'm not asking, i'm informing. you can choose to go wearing what you are now or put something else on. you got 5 minutes."

"touch me and i swear to god i'll make you regret the day you were born!"

"honey, please..."

kakashi kneeled down before you and took your hands in his.

"i can't leave you like this, i haven't been able to focus properly because i'm worried about you, i'm running behind schedule at work. i'm asking you, please, let me take you to the hospital."

you sighed, looking at him. as the hokage, kakashi couldn't skip a day of work, he was responsible for absolutely everything, and he would work the whole day on christmas eve.

"i hate hospitals. i really do."

"i know. but we have to find out what's wrong."

you got up and changed from your pajamas to a loose dress, grabbing your purse on the way.

kakashi practically carried you to the very christmas descorated hospital, but you couldn't blame him, you knew he was worried. that was the only reason you were there, actually. you were sure there was nothing wrong, you could feel it it was only temporary, probably just something you ate, but you were doing this for him, to make him feel at ease.

he only left after putting you in one of the beds, as if you were so weak you couldn't walk or sit. taking one of the hospitals beds was ridiculous, but the place was nearly empty anyway, people seemed to avoid hospitals during the holidays.

the holidays.

you couldn't help but smile at the memory of your first holiday with kakashi, when he asked you to be his girlfriend under a mistletoe, and exactly a year later he proposed. you had had a crush on him for months before he actually made a move, and now there you were, six years later, married and happy. you wondered if he remembered, now that he was all busy with the hokage job. you couldn't blame him if he didn't, he was working late on christmas eve, he had a lot going on... but at least he would be yours tomorrow. all yours.

"hi, y/n!" sakura greeted you.

"hi, sakura."

sakura was wearing a santa hat and there were tiny reindeers and christmas trees on her scrub.

"i heard you're not feeling well today. what's wrong?" she asked, holding a clipboard, ready to write down everything and anything you said.

"it's really nothing, kakashi's just being dramatic..."

"well, you're already here, we can check it out, it's no trouble. so, what are you feeling?"

"well, the main thing is this sickness, my stomach feels so weird i can't eat anything, i just throw up right away."

"hm... what else?"

"well, this is what concerns kakashi the most, but i also feel tired all the time, you know? it's like i ran a marathon, i just want to sleep."

"ok, so basically you're throwing up, feeling nauseous, can't eat and feel super tired?"

"yeah, that's basically it."

"okay, and when was your last period?"

"shit, i have no idea... my cycle is not really regular... i have pos, i take the pill but it doesn't really help with the cycle, sometimes it's 20 days, but sometimes it's like 45, so i don't really pay attention to it. i should, i know, sorry. it also doesn't help that i take the same pill since forever."

"okay... did you take any medication lately?"

"oh, god... nothing special, just the occasional aspirin. but i did have to take antibiotics for my throat a while ago ago, but it was nothing serious."

"okay..." sakura was writing everything down and had a little smile on her face. "question: is the sickness worse in the morning, like right after you wake up?"

"yes! why is that?"

sakura smiled and kept writing down your symptoms.

"so, do you know what's wrong? it's really nothing, right? probably just something i ate?" you asked, hopeful.

"well, in a way, yes." she giggled, but you didn't understand why. "come on, i need to take your blood and run a few tests in order to be 100% sure."

ugh, needles.

your body shivered at the idea, you absolutely hated needles, but what were you going to do? you were at the hospital anyway, might as well do everything. you were sure sakura had a pretty good idea of what was wrong with you, so if she wants you to take a blood test, you will take a blood test... that somehow made you feel quite anxious. if sakura wanted you to take a blood test, and she had an idea of what was going on, then maybe it was not "nothing", or simply something you ate. the idea of it being something serious caused panic to wash over you.

sakura was very skilled, she took your blood quickly, you almost didn't feel a thing and you were so so thankful for that.

"can you tell me what do you think it is?" the panic in your voice was obvious.

"we better wait for the results, but don't worry, it's nothing bad, i promise." she replied, tagging the blood bottles.

you nodded, looking at the perfectly painted white wall. nothing bad... as if something good was an option. in hospitals. haha.

"so, because it's christmas eve we're really short on people and the results may take a while, but you can go home if you want. i know you hate hospitals, it'll only make you anxious staying here... i'll send the results to kakashi."

"really? thank you!"

"yes, just make sure you rest, get some sleep and drink loads of water, ok? and try to eat something. a fruit, a glass of milk, anything is better than nothing, your body needs it." she recommended.

"okay, doc."

sakura smiled and touched your arm.

"and don't worry, everything's okay. i'll ask konohamaru to take you home."

"oh no, don't worry, i'm ok, i can go by myself."

"it's no trouble, he's got nothing better to do. besides, kakashi would kill me if he found out i let you leave alone."

that was true and there was no doubt. kakashi was overprotective - it would be ridiculous if it wasn't somehow sweet.

konohamaru walked you home taking very seriously the mission of taking the hokage's wife home in safety, it was adorable.

as soon as you got home you boiled water to make a cup of tea and tried to keep your mind free of worries, but it was difficult. sakura's questions brought up a fear you were working really hard to ignore, specially because it matched your symptoms, but it couldn't be true, it just couldn't. not with you.

you snuggled up on the couch with your cup of tea and turned on the tv to try and distract your mind.

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.

kakashi was finishing signing a huge pile of documents when sakura entered the office.

"hi, kakashi sensei!"

"hey, pink hair! i hope you didn't come here to deliver bad news... how's y/n? or did you come to talk about something else?"

"i brought her blood test results."

"is she ok? please, tell me she's ok!"

"she's ok, sensei!" sakura smiled. "she's home, that's why i'm giving the results to you."

kakashi took the envelope from sakura's hands, but didn't open it, instead waited for her to say what was really written in that piece of paper. he was trying to hide the fact that he was anxious and worried, but a bit calmer now that he knew you were home - if you were home it meant you didn't have to stay at the hospital, so it was nothing too serious.

"so?" he asked when sakura didn't speak.

"congrats, sensei, you're going to be a father!"

sakura couldn't hide her excitement, she believed children were a blessing and she was so happy her beloved sensei was going to be a father! being one of his genins she knew he would be an amazing father. kakashi, on the other hand, was frozen, still holding the envelope, not even blinking.

"sensei... are you... ok?"

"she's... pregnant?"

"yes!" sakura confirmed, smiling. "isn't that wonderful?"

"are you sure?!"

"yes! look at the results, she's around five or six weeks in!"

kakashi still seemed really confused, as if sakura had said that the sky is in fact green.

"how is that possible? you're not lying to me, are you?"

"no! see, she takes the pill, but antibiotics cut the effect of the pill, i don't think she was aware of that."

kakashi was so shocked he didn't reply, still trying to process the information, envelope in hands.

"sensei... is everything okay?"

"yes, of course!" he gave her his signature smile, his eyes becoming little crescent moons.

"i have to get back to the hospital... tell y/n i want to talk to her asap, we need to run other tests, start the antenatal check up, see if everything's okay, if she'd like to keep it..."

kakashi nodded, but he didn't seem to have listened to her, so she left and went back to the hospital. it took kakashi a while to fully process the new information, he was caught so off guard. after a few minutes he left the hokage tower telling shizune he had to rush home and not stopping to hear her complain about how late they already were with things.

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.

"y/n!"

you woke up with a little jump when you heard kakashi call your name, realizing you had fallen asleep on the couch, the empty cup of tea on the floor. at least it didn't break.

"y/n!" kakashi called again.

"in the living room!"

three seconds later kakashi appeared with an envelope and a box in hands, almost running towards you.

"how are you? are you feeling better?" he asked, hands cupping your face, eyes analyzing every millimeter of your skin.

"i'm ok, i'm better. i told you i only needed to eat something. and sleep apparently. i'm better, there's no need to worry. is this the test results?"

"yes."

you reached out to the envelope, but kakashi didn't let you touch it. weird.

"well? can i please see it?" you asked, sarcastically.

kakashi shook his head, then sat by your side.

"i'd like to talk to you first" he said.

"you're acting weird... are the results bad? am i sick? what is it?"

"you're fine."

you raised an eyebrow, not believing him. your heart was beating fast, and you started to feel a little anxious with the idea that something was, in fact, wrong. maybe you really were sick.

"if i'm fine, then why you don't want me to see the results?"

he handed you the box, which you accepted suspiciously. you untied the ribbon and opened it up, seeing a pair of tiny tiny socks inside it. your heart skipped a beat.

"uh... what's this?"

"y/n, you're pregnant."

the words hit you and made the room spin. you dropped the box and time stopped while your mind tried to process the information. that's exactly what had crossed your mind at the hospital, but you were too afraid to even consider it. it might have been seconds or minutes before you looked back to kakashi.

"i'm sorry... what?!"

"you're pregnant." kakashi said the words very carefully, seeing how you received the new.

"no... no, it doesn't make sense. let me see this!"

you finally took the envelope from kakashi's hand and opened it up, taking a quick look at the numbers and then seeing the high number on hcg hormone.

there was probably a question mark tattooed on your face, because you were so confused. it just didn't make sense! you took the pill and, even without the pill the chances of you getting pregnant were lower than average because of pos... at least that's what the doctor said when you you were diagnosed. it didn't add up.

"you see, apparently antibiotics cut the effect of the pill."

antibiotics! of course!

"oh!"

you closed your eyes when it all started to make sense. the sickness, the mood swings, the sleepiness... you touched your stomach unconsciously, the sudden awareness that there was a life evolving there was mindblowing. your eyes burned and you started to blink to contain the tears.

"i'm sorry..." you said with a weak voice, trying to contain the scream in your throat.

the tears fell from your eyes nonetheless and you felt ridiculous. you had one job! and now it was all ruined. kakashi and you never really talked about having kids, but you could tell from the way he talked about his father that he was scared, probably terrified at the idea of traumatizing someone same way his father did. he loved his genins, he really did, and he was some sort of father to them, he'd go to hell and back for them, but that was different. he had already lost so many people, he didn't want to go through the pain of losing a loved one again - you were the only exception, the only one he had let in, the only one who was worth it enough to risk it, but that was it. and it's not like you were dying to be a mother - sure, you loved children and the idea of a mini kakashi running around the house made your heart feel warm, a little package of love, the result of how much you and kakashi loved each other, the chance to make it right, the way your parents hadn't... but to be honest the idea of being responsible for a life scared the shit out of you.

"you're sorry?" kakashi chuckled.

you nodded, the tears never stop falling.

"i'm sorry i was so stupid, i know you don't want to be a father... i'm sorry i don't know what to do!"

it was getting harder to speak and impossible to contain the tears. kakashi pulled you in to his chest and kissed the top of your head.

"honey, we're in this together. it's ok, you're ok."

he kept repeating you were okay, massaging your back while you held on his shirt for dear life and tried to pull yourself together.

finally, a few minutes later, you felt calmer. kakashi pulled your chin up to look at you. you could tell he was smiling under the mask.

"you're right, i didn't want to be a father. past tense. that was before you. you can't imagine how happy i am, how full i feel!"

"really?"

"honey, i love you! nothing could make me happier than starting a family with you!"

the tears came again, but this time it was because you felt incredibly happy and emotional. yes, it felt like you were all over the place.

"oh no, what's wrong?" kakashi asked, wiping away your tears.

your answer was to hold him tight and plant a kiss on his neck, which made him smile.

"so it's safe to say you also want a family with me?"

"of course i do!" you told him.

kakashi ran his fingers through your hair, something he knew made you feel calm and safe while in his arms and you two just stayed there for a while.

finally, when you were almost asleep he asked:

"what do you think it is? a boy or a girl?"

"hm... i think it's a boy. a silver haired boy that looks just like you and will annoy the hell out of me just like you do. i just know you two will be full of shenanigans."

"what if it's a girl? a beautiful lovely girl just like you that will be the center of my world just like you are. too clever for her own good, will always be on your side, even when she knows you're wrong."

you giggled, painting the picture in your head.

"what if we have twins? a boy and a girl." you asked, intertwining your fingers with his.

"then we're lost. completely. they would destroy the house while we'd watch in awe."

"i bet they would destroy the whole village, and no one would dare to stop them because they're the hokage's kids. they'd be little terrorists."

"oh yes, i can already picture them... shit, i'll have to hide my books."

"and the dogs, oh god... the house will be a complete mess 24/7!"

kakashi laughed.

"i can't wait for them to be here, i wanna hold 'em and smell their tiny head..."

"i have to say that the way you're so excited to be a father it's so hot and if i weren't already pregnant i'd ask you to put a baby in me right now."

"shit, i love you" he said, before pulling the mask down and kissing you passionately.

you weren't sure how it happened, but you were suddenly beneath him, your fingers pulling his hair while he kissed your neck. now that you knew you were pregnant you could blame it on the hormones, even though you knew that the truth was that, when it came to your husband, you were insatiable.

"thank you for the greatest christmas gift of my life." he whispered between kisses on your lips.

"the gift is not over yet. pants off, hatake."

kakashi's taglist: @smutteedreams @justmyownreality @nightingaleflow @allyallygator @thetimelesschild @jyotsna-d @rocknrollsoul76 @crimsonxuchiha @hellogecko-blog1

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[thygoddessouijathicc]

Ok ok I’ve probably posted too much on this today however…

Major spoilers for Ugly oh yeah also warnings for discussion of dark themes and suicide.

So I was looking at the achievements for the game and I noticed a few things. First of all that almost all of the achievements names are statements most being presumably said by Scorpion or about him for example “I will make you a REAL prince.” “Not my son!” And the ever classic “Put on the mask!” “PUT ON THE MASK!” “PUT ON THE F******* MASK!”

Some seem not to be said by Scorpion but if put in the correct context probably are. “Hot dog” is a cruel fucking joke but I mean it’s not an… incorrect statement… (Scorpion I hate you). “Waiting for my prince.” Makes total sense in context and taking it as being said by Scorpion makes it kinda horrible because he says prince and not son or child or whatever because he only sees Butterfly as an heir and a continuation of himself rather than a child.

But one thing particularly stands out to me and it’s how the major story beat achievements progress. The first major story beat is the bandaged, its achievement is “Can’t be real”. Next is the covered “Painful image”. Then you get the mirror monster which gets way more interesting with “THIS IS NOT ME!”. Then the lock thing “I need to hide myself.”. Then the poisoned is next. Not sure why I remember that one’s name and not the last two but eh… it’s achievement is “Who am I?”. Finally we get to the mirror shard itself with the definitive statement “I’M UGLY!” And the fire boss “This is not me.”

Looking at these statements my interpretation is that these are all after the fire and are Scorpion’s thoughts at the time. They seem to portray largely denial but something a bit deeper in the character’s psyche. Scorpion doesn’t know who he is without his looks and finds the mere idea that they are bad to be painful. He can’t let himself be seen if he is ugly just like he couldn’t let his ugly son be seen, who we have established by now he sees as an extension of himself and not a child. He rejects his son being ugly with statements like “not my son” the same way he says things like “this is not me”. Because no part of him can be ugly that’s not possible he can’t reconcile that idea.

Going beyond this Scorpion seems to think his deformity is way worse than it is. When we see him in the ending of the game we will notice yeah he’s kinda let himself go maybe a little and he has what? One scar? I don’t think he was ever actually burned in the first place at least not that badly because we have seen Butterfly who is confirmed to have been burned and his scar is definitely much much worse. It’s likely if Scorpion was ever burned at all he has made a full recovery but again I doubt he ever was. It’s not that he’s actually become ugly it’s that he sees it that way because to Scorpion him having a small scar is just as bad as being hideously deformed or whatnot. Scorpion was never ugly he never needed to “hide himself” but he thought he was ugly and he thought he did because that’s how he responds to any ugly thing apparently. We spend the whole half of the game thinking this guy has been burned beyond recognition but no… he just has a cut on his face. But that’s enough for him.

Also side note I headcanon the thing that cut his face to be the mirror shard seen throughout the game. He was literally cut by his own reflection.

Continuing to the second half of the game the achievements get… different. They seem to be, unlike earlier ones, present thoughts mixed with past ones. Especially the items. “I deserve everything” “top secret” “play it again” “this is my son.” “You asked for it” (about that last one, that’s said about Spider’s eyepatch so… fuck you Scorpion, damn) “Are you beautiful?” “Crime and punishment” “precious collar.” “You have ruined it” “where is my heir?” And “dangerous spider”. These thoughts don’t seem exactly regretful of his actions though some can be read as regretful of his own situation. We get from this a few things.

One, he didn’t like his wife that’s for damn sure. And with the idea that he was a prince I kinda question if perhaps it was an arranged marriage which would explain it being so loveless seemingly from the start… though that doesn’t excuse his actions at fucking all. Still fuck you Scorpion.

As for what else is there… “I deserve everything” is a very weighted statement at this point in the game so is “are you beautiful” especially being said about one of Butterfly’s belongings because it does feel like he’s actually asking if his son was beautiful all along (even if in his own way) and possibly even “where is my heir” can be seen as weighted though that one can be seen as a memory given it is a rattle but it can also be him asking now that he’s alone where is his heir he wanted so badly to be perfect. Precious collar is also questionable because that’s the dogs collar. The one he killed. “This is my son” is one I’m very unsure of because it’s the wine glass from when his son wore the mask though it does imply he actually did present Butterfly as his son… when Butterfly was masked of course. It sounds almost proud maybe and part of me doesn’t doubt that it might actually be proud. But only proud when Butterfly can’t be seen and functions properly as an accessory to make Scorpion look good.

Finally there is the noose “the rope is the key”… self explanatory. It’s the key. We have been finding keys this whole game and this is the only one that leads out. Whether or not Scorpion actually regrets any of his actions it’s clear how he feels about his situation. We know from the final sequence if he wanted to he could just leave. He’s hardly trapped in a way that will actually stop him from leaving. Especially given he locked all the doors to be hidden meaning he probably does have access to the outside.

His death could be seen as an accident he seems to behave maybe like it was but also he definitely put the rope over the scaffolding he knows will collapse then got up there. And he also if we are in fact reading achievements as his words, just called the rope the key. So I’m going to go out on a limb and say he definitely meant to do that. We can also see in that final scene he’s actually seeing himself properly now so it can be well confirmed that he probably isn’t killing himself for being ugly… on the outside.

The noose is the only key for Scorpion to leave not because he physically can’t leave but because even if he did leave he can’t change anything about his situation and the things he’s done and he’s ugly inside, which is where it really matters. Suicide is a complicated topic and while I don’t particularly like Scorpion as a person he was pretty awful let’s be real here, I do feel like his suicide is still somewhat sad because in a sense… well in a few… he was at the end of his rope at this point and had nothing left. He realized the error of his ways finally seemingly but he also realized that it doesn’t matter. He can’t unkill his wife or kids or dog, or unburn his son’s face. Not to mention even if he wanted to go back to living how he used to it’s implied he’s been gone awhile and with that fire he caused everyone either thinks he’s dead or crazy or both. And maybe his peers are after all just as shallow as he is or was or whatever you think at this point in the game. And would actually think he’s hideous for having a small scar.

There really wasn’t anything Scorpion could have done in this situation but die. He created this mess do not get me wrong here he is at fault for all of this and while from the context of him being a prince I do think he may in fact be a product of his situation given the perfectionist mentality and deep insecurity and narcissistic tendencies could well have been intentionally fostered I mean he does lead a religion for fucks sake and who knows that shit could have been going on since he was like 9 which absolutely would destroy his ability to have a proper childhood development, we have nothing to go by on account of his own upbringing other than that he is in fact a royal. He’s not referred to as a king so maybe that’s something and implies he probably has siblings older than him. But really for all we know he’s just kinda like this? No reason no horrible upbringing that fostered narcissism to a clinical degree so bad it causes him to seeming panic at imperfection and try to cover it up, honestly he could just have woken up one day and chosen child abuse. We know very little about this guy he literally isn’t even named we just call him Scorpion. And again even if he did have a past to explain his actions they’re still on him and I still like to watch him faceplanting into glass.

But as much as I do blame him for everything that happened he is literally an abuser I still do take suicide seriously and respect that Scorpion killing himself was really the only thing he could have done in his situation (I say all this because I have seen people call it him wimping out and fucking hell I don’t vibe with calling suicide an easy way out no matter what the character has done). Sure maybe turn himself into the police (which wouldn’t he need evidence and statute of limitations and trial and shit?) or an asylum and live out the rest of his days imprisoned and for the latter case depending on the time period, lobotomized. Yeah it’s not like that was really an option even if he’d done terrible things and was now aware of the extent of that I don’t see anyone deciding they want to spend the rest of their life in a padded cell. There’s also a chance he may have been shipped off to an asylum if anyone found him because he did randomly go up to a mirror and throw a candle at it, presumably causing a fire that killed people, then disappear for years. It’s like he chose between death and slower and possibly more unpleasant and humiliating death.

Also beyond just the actual consequences of staying alive with statements like “I deserve everything” it seems like his psyche is also taking a serious beating. And yes Scorpion you do deserve this your son SHOULD by all means be no contact with your narcissistic arse. The flesh pits taunt you. But yeah yeah back to the point… I also interpret the flesh levels as being all in his head so his mind seems to be falling apart whether from guilt or isolation or what but Scorpion isn’t mentally stable at this moment in time. Honestly I debate if he ever was and if hallucinations like this are actually new but again we don’t know much about this guy. Though the mirror stuff probably also isn’t real unless maybe it is because the poison spiritually fucked him up??? Whatever the case may be I don’t think Scorpion finds himself beautiful at the end of the story and I don’t mean physically I mean it feels like he understands that he’s ugly where it matters and that’s inside and that his actions were disgusted and disgraceful. So I think the choice to… do that… wasn’t entirely to avoid consequence so much as it was “there’s nothing left for me and I’m a monster and the world is better off without me” which is kinda heavy shit right there.

At the end of the day Scorpion is a character with almost no dialogue save from what I affectionately call “random Scorpion noises” (which mostly consist of waking up panting and laughter in memories and smooching noises) so we don’t really understand his actual feelings towards his situation aside from in the ending song where he takes the stance everyone else takes and pretty much goes “yeah I kinda suck lmao” but I find him interesting to analyze since we know so little yet so much about him? We know he’s a prince, we know what he’s done, but as a person we know very very little.

My take is that Scorpion was probably the younger of a few princes and raised into his narcissistic tendencies and perfectionism to look good in court, because to me that makes the most sense to explain why he’s like this. He’s definitely not crown prince and to me even his *age* is up to debate because we have no idea of the time period as far as I know it could be modern it could be medieval. And he kinda looks pretty young let’s be real even at the end of the game with a full adult son who also seems to have a child he looks maybe late 20s early to mid 30s? I have no evidence for this but I’m not convinced he was a legal adult in some of the early on the timeline memories. Because no way this guy is a grandfather without a single wrinkle or grey hair if we are saying he was minimum 18 when he had his son because his son is in this case minimum also 20-30 something depending on how old you think the child is putting him at like 50-60. I also feel that his reoccurring desire to specifically *hide* anything imperfect is of note.

Oh yeah I also think spider is from elsewhere. I think she’s from a different kingdom and that the marriage was both arranged and political. Because for one that’s what you do with princesses and non crown princes you use them for political advantage. For two the Spider wing has a very unique aesthetic that feels kidna like it’s maybe reminiscent of an entirely different kingdom’s aesthetic given it’s all light glass where everywhere else is for lack of a better term… heavy

But these are only headcanons because we must remember… we don’t know their goddamn NAMES. Though I think it would be really funny if Scorpion, Spider, and Butterfly were in fact actually their names. Goddamn arthropods.

So anyway all I wanted to say was some stuff about achievements and it turned into Ouija going character analysis crazy