#(HOW LONG)

[gracieheartspedro]

Crave

Part 3 of "How Long"

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

find part 1 and 2 here!

dedication: @jenispunk <3 I love you sm jen. thank you for always supporting my writing and being the best wife a girl could ever dream of. you make my heart so happy. thank you for helping me edit and being the first to read this and encouraging me no matter what! love you love you love you!!!

description: a weekend escape with joel and sarah, kinda. the bed situation is a little confusing. luckily you and joel make it work. when sarah's not around, of course.

word count: 5.5k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING AGAIN, dirty talk, daddy kink (aha), hotel sex?, begging? lmao I think that's it.

author's note: finally. it's here. I feel like I've been staring at this doc for 7 years. thank you all for your patience. I want to continue this series but I have to sit down and really brainstorm what I'd like the next parts to be. let me know your thoughts! THANK YOU FOR READING!

“My favorite Millers!” 

Your face was beaming, seeing Joel hop out of his truck with Sarah in tow. The truck was still running, the diesel engine chugging louder than any truck you had been in before. Joel always had a nicer, newer truck. He made great money and he was always having to go into construction zones that needed an all terrain vehicle. They always got pretty banged up with dirt and rocks, but he took excellent care of the interior. 

Joel grabs both of your bags, taking them to the backseat where Sarah would be crammed in with all the luggage. You give him a nod, silently thanking him. Sarah wraps her arms around your waist, giggling with excitement. 

“I’m so happy you’re coming with us! It’s going to be a great weekend,” She explains while you two walk over to the tall truck. You always found climbing into a truck unnatural and awkward yourself, but it was hot watching Joel hop in with ease. You agree with Sarah, all the while opening up the door for yourself. Sarah springs up to her seat, and you struggle to crawl up into the cab. It makes Joel chuckle. 

“I’m making you lift me into this thing next time,” you joke, easing back into the fabric seats, “Especially since you think watching me struggle is funny.”

Joel looks back in the rear view to see if Sarah’s paying attention, “‘s no problem at all, darlin’. I will gladly help you next time.”

You knew he was flirting. It makes your stomach bubble with excitement. He makes sure you two are buckled and starts on the two and half hour journey to Houston. Once you leave your neighborhood, Sarah taps your shoulder and holds out her new CD player. It’s purple and covered in sparkly stickers. 

“Looks like your Dad is supplying you with all the ways to listen to music,” you observe, glancing over at Joel. He’s just watching the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other propped up on the shifter. He looks younger, the dusk sky the perfect back drop for his pronounced nose and beautiful eyelashes. You couldn’t help but stare, even as Sarah’s talking your ear off. He just nods along to her, making sure she knows she’s heard. 

“Think I’m gonna listen to my Kelly Clarkson CD this time,” Sarah explains, putting her earphones over her voluminous curls, “So don’t try to talk to me!”

You and Joel giggle, shaking your heads at her comment. It’s not like you were the one’s talking before, you both think. 

It gives you both a moment without a kid’s ears nearby. 

“How was the rest of your work week?” He asks, tapping the shifter to the soft hum of the radio.

“Boring,” You mumble, “Think one of the guys in marketing has a crush on me and he’s making it impossible to avoid him. I can’t even go to the break room without him bothering me.”

You didn’t know why you felt the urge to tell Joel about the situation. It wasn’t even a real situation, it was just an annoying thing happening in your life.

“Hmph,” he ponders for a moment, “Want me to kill him?”

His tone is serious, but you know he’s just messing. You grin, nudging his arm with your elbow gently, ensuring it doesn’t move the steering wheel. 

“My hero,” You comment as you watch a smile crack across his face, “No, thank you, though. If it starts to get to stalker status, I will call you.”

“Seems like stalkin’ already, baby girl.”

The nickname makes your stomach flip. You purse your lips, contemplating his words. Sure it was creepy, but the guy was scrawny and you could probably snap him in half with two fingers. He had nothing to really worry about. Right?

Joel steals a glance over at you. 

“Maybe, but I’ll handle it.”

You wanted him to think you were strong enough to deal with unwanted attention, but to be honest, you weren’t sure how to say no to most men. You only ever had Tommy and he scared everyone away. Now everyone around town knew you were on the market, and men were drawn to your natural beauty and somewhat sassy attitude. 

Little did they know, you were hung up on the other Miller boy. 

“You let me know if you need me to talk to him,” He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, just reaches his right hand out to rest on your thigh, “Man to man.”

His hand is so warm, you feel it through your black leggings. He was almost always like a furnace, but it was okay, because you always ran cold. But every time he touched you, you felt that warmth trail up your arms and legs. He made you feel different. Every fiber of your being became electrified when he was around. It was a sensation you never noticed when you were with Tommy. You begin chalking it up to just being nervous because he was older and larger and… well, hotter. 

“Again, my hero,” you respond sarcastically, letting your hand rest on top of his. It makes him more confident, gently massaging that area. You watch as his hand creeps closer and closer to the crack between your legs. You practically gasp at the contact, but you catch yourself before you do, remembering there’s a child behind you. 

So you smack his hand away, shooting him a glare. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothin’ just… sorry.”

You didn’t want him to pull away, your leg already missing his touch, but you knew what would happen if you did stuff like that in front of Sarah. She’s a teenage girl. She’ll talk. It’ll find it’s way to someone’s ears. 

You wanted to act like you didn’t care if Tommy found out, but deep down you knew it would be a disaster. You didn’t feel like being the talk of the town. You didn’t feel like explaining yourself to Tommy. You didn’t feel like watching Joel deal with the flack from his family, especially his mother. 

If you two wanted to continue this… game… you would have to keep it secret. That included keeping it away from Sarah’s eyes and ears. You and Joel would just be friends. You would just be her aunt. That’s it. 

“Don’t apologize,” You whisper, “Just not here.”

You two let the radio take over the rest of the trip, occasionally chatting about a song or what the newscaster says about the weather. Once you get into Houston, it’s already 8:30 at night. Joel pulls into the parking garage to the Marriot and you already start craving the bed that awaits you inside. 

-

“I call the bed near the window!” Sarah throws her stuff down, jumping straight onto one the huge queen size duvet. The room was nice. A large television set catches your eye immediately, proving that this was probably an expensive room if they were giving you free cable tv. The curtains were open, giving a beautiful view of Houston’s skyline. 

One thing you notice, too, is the fact that there was only two beds. You knew this, but it still made your stomach sink a bit. 

You realize you three hadn’t discussed the sleeping situation. You didn’t care where you would sleep, honestly. You just knew Sarah was a restless one, having slept next to her in a tent when she was 9. Family camping trips entailed you, Tommy, Joel, and Sarah sharing a 6 person tent and being absolutely miserable the whole entire time. Between Tommy’s snores and Sarah practically flailing all around the tent at night, you remember not getting a lick of sleep. 

“Go get a shower, Sarah. We will figure out who’s sleeping where.”

She groans at Joel, like usual. 

“Dad!”

“Shower,” he throws his bag down on the ground near the dresser, “No arguin’.”

Sarah sulks, her bag in hand, straight to the bathroom by the front door. You don’t say anything. You just start following Joel’s lead by putting your bags down next to his. You stand a bit too close to him, waiting for him to say where you’d be sleeping.  

He clears his throat, “I will take the recliner, if you want the bed.”

“Of course I want the bed, but I don’t want you to have to sleep in the recliner.”

It makes him laugh, how matter-of-fact you are. 

You hear Sarah start up the shower. You wouldn’t have to fear she hears you and Joel talk about the possibility of sleeping with one another. Again.

“It’s not a big deal,” He explains, unzipping his bags to grab his pajamas, “Sleep on the couch all the time.”

“But you have a nice plush couch,” You gesture towards the hard and structured looking recliner, “That doesn’t look comfortable at all.”

For a girl who didn’t want Joel touching you in the car, you were practically begging him to sleep next to you in the big comfortable hotel bed. 

“So, where do you want me to sleep?”

“Just take the bed.”

“But you want the bed.”

You swallow, not even looking up at him, “We both can have the bed.”

He’s silent, gripping onto his sweatpants and t-shirt. He slowly looks down at you, his eyes carry a curious glint in them. You cock your head, giving him a mischievous smirk.

“You and Sarah?”

“No, you and Sarah.”

He groans, “You are a fuckin’ tease.”

You giggle, watching him brush pass you to position himself close to the closet. He opens the closet door, slipping in like he’s looking for something in there. 

“What are you doing?”

“Changin’.”

“In the closet?”

He grabs his shirt from the nape of his neck and pulls it off smoothly. You can’t peel your eyes away, partially seeing his right peck from how he’s standing. It was like the morning after having sex with him. Your eyes were glued to him, his tanned skin practically asking to be touched and licked. 

You horny bitch. 

“Joel, get out of the closet.”

He chuckles, “Why? You want me to give you a show?”

Why yes, I really do, Joel. You think to yourself. You hum a response, peeling your eyes away. You needed to find your pajamas, a pair of Nike sports shorts and a black tank top. Lately, you’ve been sleeping completely naked, but that was obviously not an option here. 

Sarah finally leaves the bathroom as soon as Joel slides his pants up. She has her hair wrapped in a towel, which makes you smile. She looked so grown up, it’s hard to believe you met her when she was 6 years old. You wordlessly walk into the bathroom, beginning to change your outfit for your sleep wear. You splash some cold water on your face, your cheeks still blushed from seeing Joel shirtless. 

You hear the door outside open and close. You peak out, your traveling clothes wrapped up in your arms. Joel stands in the middle of the room, fiddling with the remote for the TV. 

“Where did Sarah go?” You question, packing your clothes back into your duffle. 

“She wanted to go get ice from the ice machine,” He grumbles, “Said she wanted to see if any of her teammates were awake or nearby.”

“Is her whole team staying here?”

“Yeah, pretty much every team gets a floor. Last year it was a like a huge sleepover. Fuckin’ nightmare,” Joel mutters, flicking through different channels, before landing on some westerns. You smirk, deciding to plop down on one of the beds. As soon as you lay back, Sarah comes back in, bucket in hand. 

“Can I go stay in Amelia’s room? Her mom is there, just two doors down.”

Well that solves the bed problem. 

Joel rolls his eyes, you can tell he’s already annoyed. “Is Amelia’s mom okay with that?”

“You want to go talk to her? I promise Dad, we will get up at 5:30 like we need to. Pleas-”

“Let’s go talk to Amelia’s mom.”

You hear them leave the room without saying anything else. 

You were tired from a long day at work and the long drive. But some excitement blooms in your stomach when you realize it may just be you and Joel, all alone in a hotel room. 

Before you have time to ponder all the wonders that may be in store for you, Joel comes back with a frustrated huff. 

“She staying over there?”

“Yeah, Amelia’s mom said it was fine. Then she started askin’ who you were. Guess they saw us in the hotel lobby.”

Your stomach twists, nervous at what his response was.

“And?”

“Told her you were Sarah’s aunt. She gave me a weird look.”

“Great, now the soccer mom’s will be oogling me tomorrow.”

“Well they will anyway,” Joel responds, finding a spot next to you on the edge of the bed, “Single ones won’t leave me alone.” 

You know he’s really just seeing if you’ll get jealous. But you don’t play into his little game. You just let out a loud hearty laugh. 

“The ladies just love a Miller.”

He grumbles something inaudible, nudging you with his elbow. “You do, don’t ya?”

“Sure do.”

His face softens, his eyes flicking down to your lips. 

You grin, “She’s 14 and super goofy. Loves to play socc-”

“You’re truly testin’ me today, ain’t ya?”

You can’t help yourself at that point. The way he’s flirting only gives you more reason to taunt him. 

“Is Sarah seriously going to be gone from the room all night?”

“Yeah,” He nods, leaning back on his palms. He acts like he’s watching TV, ignoring your not-so-subtle hints that you want his eyes on you. 

“So, I can finally ask you why you think it’s okay to tease me in the car?”

“Don’t know what you’re on about, darlin’,” He smirks, he knows.

You tilt your head to the side, finally lifting your hand onto his lap. You immediately start toying with him the same way, your hand creeping towards his crotch. His eyes peel away from the TV. He watches you closely, his eyes trailing from your gaze down to your fingers dancing on his pant leg. 

“You put your hand on my thigh and started inching closer and cl-“

“Are you tryin’ to make a point or pose a question?”

He was getting annoyed with the games already. But you’d only just begun. 

“I’m just trying to explain how you can’t do things like that to me in front of Sarah,” You remark, flicking your eyelashes up to his glare, “Especially when you can’t finish it.”

“Who said I ain’t gonna?”

You huff, “Well here we are, all alone in a hotel room. No kiddo in sight. Still not touching me.”

“Don’t think you deserve it cause you’re a tease.”

“How am I a tease, Miller?”

“You exist and that’s enough. Walkin’ around in a tank top,” He gestures to your chest, “Just beggin’ to be touched.”

Your skin is set alight. The words go straight to your core. 

“Joel-“

You’re cut off. His hands work quickly, pulling you by the nape of your neck, right to his eager lips. You begin to realize you had been longing for this moment for so long. He couldn’t resist anymore, his whole body buzzing at the fact that he finally has you again. 

His lips are soft and slow as they make their way around yours. His hands eventually trail down to your butt, his hands cradling both cheeks. He lifts you forward, sliding you up and onto his lap. 

“Been wantin’ this for months, baby.” 

Butterflies erupt in the pit of your tummy. You can feel them travel up to your chest as you look down at him, his eyelids heavy and his lips pursed.  

He waited for you to respond to his calls, knowing you needed time. He needed to be patient. You would come around, he knew it. After months, here you are. 

He thinks back to every time he was touching himself late at night, he would imagine the night you two shared. Your soft curves and needy dripping pussy. It drove him wild imagining you like this again. 

“I think it’s been more than wantin’, Joel,” You grind down on his prominent bulge growing in his sweatpants, “Think you need it.”

He grins, finally getting out of his own head.

“Such a little tease, damn it.”

You lean down, mindlessly speckling kisses behind his ear and neck. Your boobs rest right in front of his face, and you’re right, he needs it. His hands leave your behind, reaching up to the straps of your tank top. He tugs them down your biceps, allowing your cleavage to spill out more. 

Your hands find his dark peppered curls at the nape of his neck, pulling downward. You needed him closer and he obliged. He starts to kiss your collarbones, wandering down to the swell of your breasts. You can feel yourself staining your sports shorts with anticipation. 

You rock your hips, craving more. He takes the hint, reaching back down to lift you from your ass. He switches spots, laying you on your back on the plush white duvet. He’s leaning over you now, which gives you a great view of how spent he looks already. His gray sweatpants are hanging lower, tenting where his cock has grown hard. 

He smirks, taking off his shirt the same way he did earlier. With one hand, it slips right over his head and onto the floor. 

“Jesus,” You huff out, using the time to remove your top, “I need you, Joel.”

The smirk never leaves his lips. He leans down, pushing your legs apart with his pointer and middle finger. You open up for him, wanting nothing more for him to dive into you in every possible way. You watch as he slides his fingers up your thigh, past the openings of your shorts. 

He realizes you aren’t wearing underwear. He sighs as he swipes the pads of his fingers across your wet slit. 

“I know you do,” He drawls, watching you writhe under his touch, “You need me as much as I need you.”

He practically tears off your shorts, not wasting any time fighting with the fabric. 

You adjust how your laying to accommodate him laying between your thighs. He lays down on his stomach, bringing your hips close to his mouth. You watch as he kisses your inner thighs, his breath hot fanning against your skin. 

You remember the last time you were in this position. You spent night after night remembering the best head you’ve ever gotten, from the one and only, Joel Miller. And you could tell Joel was not going to go another moment without making you cum on his tongue. 

When his tongue hits the top of your slit, you whine at the contact. He presses his face in, diving deeping into your lips. As soon as he finds your clit, he puts all his attention there. His nose is pressed against your mound as he hums against your sensitive bud. 

“Joel,” You cry, reaching down between your legs to grab the crown of his head, your hands lacing into his locks, “Right fuckin’ there.”

He continues his movements, only increasing in speed in which he flicks his tongue. He wraps his lips over the swollen area, sucking and lapping your sweetness. He pulls away, the slick between your thighs missing him instantly. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and wets them with saliva. He glances up at your completely dazed face. 

“‘M gonna fuck you with my fingers first,” His voice is deep and hushed, “Make you cum. You gonna cum for me like a good girl?”

You don’t even know where it comes from. But you say it with your chest.

“Yes, Daddy.”

You never expected the moan to come out of his mouth. It’s deep and guttural. He couldn’t believe his ears, and he can’t believe the words came from your mouth. His good girl? That fuckin’ flithy?

He slips his fingers into you without resistance. His mouth finds it’s way back to your core, fucking you in unison. 

You reach up to your chest, cradling your own boobs. Joel’s still only in sweatpants but they are riding low on his hips. As he’s giving you his all, he’s grinding his hips into the bed, trying to get whatever friction he can. Watching the motion alone is driving you wild, sending your hips rotating on his tongue. You knew the release was coming, you could feel it in your fingertips. 

And when it comes, it’s like fireworks inside your stomach and chest. You lurch forward, crying out his name. You knew it was probably way too loud for the thin hotel walls, but you couldn’t help yourself. The orgasm sends stars speckling across your vision. 

Joel fucks you through the comedown. You are the hottest thing he’s ever laid eyes on, he thinks. When your body rests back, you’re panting, trying to ground yourself for a second. Joel pulls his fingers out and sucks each digit. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” You mewl, reaching out for him. You just need to touch him. 

He shimmies his sweatpants down and off his legs. He’s sitting back on his knees, smiling down at your desperate eyes. He crawls on top of you, his dick prodding at your thighs. He leans down, trapping your lips into another longing kiss. His hands trail down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls back after a couple seconds, gazing into your eyes. 

“You still on that birth control?”

You hum in response. 

“Need me to pull out still?”

You smirk, lacing your arms around his shoulders, “No. Need you to cum inside me.”

He shakes his head, sitting back to line himself with your entrance.

“My dirty girl,” He runs his cock head between your swollen red lips, triggering your hips to move closer to him, “You drive me insane.”

“Come on, Joel. I’ve been waiting for ages for you to fuck me. Need you. Now.”

He chuckles darkly, still not giving you what you want. “Waiting ages, huh?”

“Joelllll,” You beg, smacking his chest, “Please.”

“Mmm,” He pushes forward just enough to relieve your ache, “Love it when you beg for it.”

He practically splits you open when he snaps his hips. You both groan simultaneously, unable to hold back this sick fantasy you’re both playing into. You feel more full than you ever did before. You don’t remember it hurting this good. 

“Holy fuck,” you whine, “So fucking full, Joel.”

He slowly pulls back, “You tell me if it’s too much, ‘kay?”

You shake your head, throwing your head back as he sets a cautious pace. He’s watching all your facial expressions, making sure he’s not hurting you. You wince when he starts to pick up the pace, which causes him to halt completely. 

“No,” You plead, “More. Faster. Please, just please.”

He says nothing, just pushes up your thighs so the back of them are flush with the front of his. He leans over you, his elbows on each side of your head. He grinds into you while his dark curls fall into your face. You tilt your head up, finding the crook of his neck again. 

His cock felt so good dragging in out of you. You felt like you could stay in this position forever. You molded so perfectly around him. He treated you like this beautiful mural, taking his time with delicate strokes. His hands wrapped around the back of your head, holding you in the curve of his body.

You latch your lips onto his neck, peppering lovebites everywhere. You didn’t even think about if they could be seen later. In the moment, you only thought of him as yours. He was yours and everyone would fucking know it. 

He’s starting to get more greedy. He pulls back, his warmth moving away from your perked up nipples. His upper body the best view you could get, so you couldn’t complain too much. He grabs behind your knees, using them as leverage as he starts to pound into you. 

Your eyes meet and for fuck’s sake, he’s perfect. You never knew you could see Joel Miller like this. Like someone who fucked you so good, but also cared so tenderly for you. He wanted to see you in the throws of pleasure, not even worrying about when he’d get his rocks off. He got his rise out of seeing how much you enjoyed yourself.

His ravenous drive to bring you to the edge is causing the headboard to slam against the wall which each stroke. He brings his left hand up to your bouncing tits, grabbing your nipple and tugging on it. He knew what touching your boobs did to you. He remembers watching your visceral reactions to him toying with them before. It brings a smile to his face. 

“I’m gonna-”

You don’t even finish your sentence, you just gasp as you feel his cock head hit the deepest parts of you. A place no other man has made it to. 

“I don’t want anyone else,” He musters out, his teeth clenching as your pussy restricts around him. He means it. He may be drunk on you, but he feels those words down to his bones. “I only ever want this.”

It was never just about the sex. Joel cared for you. Fuck, maybe he even loved you. 

You swallow, propping yourself up on your elbows. You glance down, watching his cock slip so perfectly, in and out of you. 

“I’m yours, Joel,” You manage to peep out before the orgasm you’ve been holding back builds to a maddening point, “I’m yours.”

The words make his cock twitch. He can’t help himself, he needs you to cum right this very moment. He doesn’t say anything, just unhooks your legs and uses his right hand to put pressure on your clit. Tears start to prick in your eyes as he lazily rubs circles, humming in satisfaction. He feels you tightening up, he knows your close. 

Your vision goes white. You body starts to vibrate, the pure bliss he’s sending you into takes you to a whole other dimension. You want more. More. More. More. 

As he watches you seize up, he can’t resist his own orgasm. The explosion sends him into a moaning mess. He fucks into you, painting your walls with his cum, not letting a drop go to waste. 

He collapses on top of you. You don’t even care, you feel like jello anyway, he could melt right into you.

He rolls off after a minute. 

You always miss him when he’s not near you. 

You stare at the ceiling, pondering the right words to say to him. Nothing comes to mind. He gets up, walking naked to the bathroom. He grabs a rag from the shelf above the toilet, running it under some warm water. 

When he returns, you let him clean all around your body. You make sure he doesn’t wipe away the wet kisses he left all over you, though. 

“You okay?”

You finally look at him. 

You want to say yes, because you were okay. Physically. But your heart wanted to pulsate out of your chest. 

“I will be,” You state simply, “Just tired.”

He slowly starts grabbing all your articles of clothing off the floor, dressing you once he collects all of them. He’s careful with you. Gentle. 

“Do you want to sleep in the same bed?”

The question rings in your ears. Of course you did. 

“As long as you get up at the ass crack of dawn and move before Sarah comes in.”

He chuckles, pulling his sweatpants back over his waist. He doesn’t even bother to put on his shirt.

“Will do, baby.”

-

When you wake up, you realize the overheard light flickered on. You contort your sleep dazed body, Joel’s upper body practically laying over you. You try to blink the haze out of your eyes, but your tired mind is completely shocked when you see an outline of a girl. 

Shitshitshitshitshit.

You fling your body upward, rattling Joel awake. He’s startled, his arms flinging off of you. 

“I knew it!” Her voice is piercing. “I knew it! Holy shit!”

“Sar-”

“Are you two dating? Or are you just… wait, ew!”

She’s rambling, her words clashing together in confusion. Your heart is about to hammer out of your chest. 

“Sarah, we aren’t dating,” You declare, your voice shaking. 

“But you’re sleeping together?”

You could cut the silence with a sword. It’s so thick and awkward. 

A 14 year old girl shouldn’t know you’re sleeping with her Dad. Let alone walk in after you spent all night tangled up in him. 

“Sarah,” Joel’s voice is buttery and raspy after he wakes up. You hold the comforter up to your chest. You had your tank top on, but it hangs so low on you, you don’t want to risk anything. “Grab your uniform, get dressed. We can talk about this later.”

“Does Uncle To-”

“Sarah! Stop!”

It scares you since it’s so close to your ear. His voice changes so abruptly, it makes you cringe a bit. 

Hearing the question from Sarah’s lips makes you feel queasy. Having the girl who you always considered your niece ask if her uncle knew you were sleeping with her dad... God what a fucking mess. 

You watch her storm across the room, grabbing her backpack and race to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

Joel groans next to you as he slams back into the plush pillows. 

“She will be fine. We will talk about it later,” Joel says under his breath. 

You open your mouth but nothing comes out. 

You hadn’t thought much of this through. Ever since you and Joel first slept together, you pushed your harbored feelings to the side. Sometimes they creep in, which would send you into a panic. Because deep down, you knew you felt something for Joel. Something you hadn’t felt since you first started dating Tommy. Maybe even ever. It was exciting. He made you feel special. After everything he said to you last night, you knew he possessed some similar emotions and feelings.  

You felt crazy for believing this could work. 

You knew this would be complicated. Now Sarah is involved. How do you explain these emotions to a child? You don’t. 

You think about all the horrible outcomes to this situation. Tommy wanting to fight Joel. His mom never accepting you back into the family. Who knows, maybe Sarah gets so upset at the situation, she never treats you the same again. 

But then you think about Joel. How he’s a night and day difference to what Tommy was to you. He wore his emotions on his sleeve. He wanted to protect you. He wanted to take care of you every chance he could. 

You start to think back to the times when you were still with Tommy. Joel defended you when you two had a blowout fight. He always made sure to have a watchful eye on you when you all went out to bars. He was even there when you graduated college, giving you a bouquet of beautiful daises he swore up and down Sarah picked out. But you knew the truth. Joel loved daisies. He even had his Mom plant some in his front yard last year. 

You were just so scared. You didn’t want to be hurt again. You did not want your feelings to be wrong. 

You glance down at him, your back still turned. He could read your face, he knew you were overthinking everything. Your mind was working overtime, trying to muster up some excuse to run away and forget everything that happened between you two. There was nothing normal about this situation. 

But fuck, you both really wanted it. So bad. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself. 

His hand creeps up your back, resting a reassuring palm on your aching shoulder. 

“Stop thinkin’ for a minute,” he whispers, “You don’t need to make any decisions right this minute. We will just take it one second at a time. Ain’t no way ‘m lettin’ you go. I want you here.”

You didn’t know if he meant here in general or in the figurative sense. 

He meant it both ways. 

Maybe it was crazy, but that feeling was deep in your chest. This palpable inkling that this could evolve into you being his. 

This being more than sex? More than a crush?

Being Joel’s sounded like a fever dream.

He wanted nothing more but to wrap you up into his arms, hold you and kiss your head, reassuring you that you two can figure it out together. But instead, Sarah walks out in her soccer uniform, squashing the moment. She stands in front of the bed, finally making eye contact with you. 

“You guys gonna get up and watch me kick ass, or are you gonna to lay in bed all day?”

You smile at her. You silently prayed this girl would stay in your life forever.

“I know my answer.”

Joel smiles, “’s go kick some ass.”

-

again thank you for reading!! let me know your thoughts!

find part 1 and 2 here!

[starfirexuchiha]

Happy Shuake 2/2 day 🥲

I made an MMD video for it. To see the full video with audio, watch it in youtube below! ⬇️

[dylanisdazed]

1a. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sex?

1b. How long do you think you can go without an orgasm once Adam finally locks you in a chastity cage? 😉

Hmm..I’m not sure I haven’t really measured? Sex..2 weeks maybe longer?

Masturbation? Since I turned 11? Probably not more than 7 days. You know how as a kid you feel like your the only weirdo who touches yourself and then feel guilty about it? I would try to stop and then usually a dream would ruin it or I’d just give in 😂

Hmm. I’m not sure. I’ll have to see once I feel it I guess 😂🤷🏻

[soubi122]

How Long? - Part 5

Warning! Manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, thoughts of baby trapping, fear, angst, anxiety, possessive Ran.

Three more chapters left!

Last Flight

Sitting on the cold floor reminded you of how much you hated this feeling. The feeling of falling, the feeling of fear, panic and helplessness. “Pack your things…” Ran repeated his words with less enmity. It was supposed to be a relief but he made you feel just the opposite. You didn’t know whether or not he’d lose it again. 

Packing a carry-on with the essentials, you bid your home a silent farewell, not sure if you’d even make it back alive. This was the one place you thought no one would find you. On the complete opposite end of the country, in a small town and away from the city - you were free. Free to live your life quietly and peacefully, away from the blood, turf wars, drugs and sleazy men and women. It was a good two and half years.

The drive to the hotel was quiet, as much as the scene was to die for, you couldn't help but feel anxious. Ran kept his hand on your thigh, almost as if he was afraid that you’d jump out of the car at any moment. A little paranoid, no? 

When you arrived at the hotel, you could see the woman at the front desk straighten up and unbutton the top two buttons of her blouse. She had no idea what this man was capable of. Her pretty smile dropped when she saw you come up from behind Ran. “Welcome back sir. Did you find what you were looking for?” She asked while fluttering her expensive lashes. He waved her off and proceeded to call the elevator. Ran didn’t even look in her direction and it made the woman pout. If only he could have been like this to all the women when he was taken. Perhaps you should have let her take him, he might have actually proven you right - once a cheater always a cheater. 

Opening the door to his room, you were met with an abundance of papers and maps. This looked like the room of a serial killer or a conspiracy theorist. He proceeded to throw away all the scattered materials and packed his belongings. While waiting, you built up the courage to speak. “Ran, I will book a hotel when we land.” You say with hopes of him understanding. “No, it’s safer if you stay with me.” He said without even looking at you, he was adamant about not letting you go. “I think it’s best not to draw any attention, I don’t want anyone to start investigating and potentially endanger Bonten.” It was a valid argument, with Bonten being under constant surveillance and with you being dead, it made sense to stay away temporarily. “I don’t care, you’re not-” He began to protest but you cut him off with two reasons that made his blood run cold. “I’m dead, remember? Besides, Mikey will really kill me if Bonten gets involved in my murder investigation.” Shit, you were right. You were always right. With a heavy sigh, Ran drooped his shoulders in defeat. “Promise me you’ll let me stay somewhere else.” It was hard to say yes to that question. He wanted to keep you with him, what if you decide to run away again? What if someone recognizes you? However, you evaded him and everyone else for 3 years - you must already know how to avoid detection. “I promise.”

After checking out of the hotel and dropping off the rental, you and Ran were waiting at the airport for the flight to commence boarding. Many couples strolled by, many were on their honeymoon or returning from a family vacation and had kids with them. Seeing and hearing how these couples interacted with each other, it made you nauseous. Especially while sitting next to the man that single handedly destroyed your life. This could have been you and Ran if he wouldn’t have cheated on you. The thought of having a child with him broke your heart. Biting back the tears in your eyes, you looked down at your cell phone, pretending to have gotten a notification or some sort. You knew what life was like with him, but how would have it been if he stayed loyal, would you be raising a child now or would you be the wife of a man who has several mistresses? The thoughts were eating away at you and Ran could tell that you were beginning to fidget in your seat. 

“Now boarding flight 757 to Tokyo. Now boarding flight 757 to Tokyo - Narita Airport.” The woman on the intercom said. Thank goodness - you couldn’t stand a second more of this awkward silence between you and Ran. The flight was about 3 hours long, luckily Ran had gotten decent seats but oh how the gods love to fuck with you. A couple with a baby was seated in front of you, the baby looked to be about 1 year old and their chubby little cheeks made your heart melt. They were considered a lap passenger so the baby was in the couples’ arms at all times. You could tell that they were first time parents.

The plane was in the air and your journey back to Tokyo began. During the flight, you remained quiet and avoided any conversation with Ran or the flight attendants. Mid flight the baby began to cry, however, the mom was not there. The flight attendant returned to inform the father that the wife was in the bathroom pumping. You could kind of see the panic in the father’s face as they weren’t used to having the baby cry. He would turn around and look back to see if the mother was coming back but she was still pumping in the bathroom. The neighboring passengers were getting a little irate about the baby’s continuous cries. 

“Remind me to get first class tickets next time.” Ran mumbled under his breath, he too was getting annoyed. Of course, those who have never dealt with children will have zero patience with them or anybody else. Seeing how he would grip his thighs or message his temples - he was slowly losing it. As someone who had friends that were nursing, you knew pumping could take 15-20 minutes. Just as Ran was about to open his mouth, you stood up and crossed over him, surprising him - just what the hell were you doing?

Lightly tapping on the man’s shoulder you asked if he needed any help with the baby. “Oh, she’s just hungry - her mother should be back shortly.” He said sheepishly, but you could see the pink blush on his face from being flustered and embarrassed. He didn’t know what to do. The baby’s sudden wailing made the father even more flustered. “May I?” You asked and extended your arms for the baby. The man handed the baby over to you, you positioned the baby against your chest and had their little head rest on your shoulder. Softly patting the baby’s thigh and setting them - the sound of your heartbeat and rhythmic movements helped to calm the baby down. The soothing patting went in sync with your heartbeat. It’s all about the angle and rhythm - “T-Thank you so much. ” The father said and smiled. It was the first time he'd seen someone other than his wife put the baby to sleep. 

The movements and patting was also soothing to you. For a moment, you forgot where you were and who was by you. Ran's eyes never left you, he saw how you handled the baby so gently and just how powerful a woman could be in moments like this. The smile on your face was warm and delicate like the morning sun. That baby in your arms was lucky to be held against your chest, to be held in the arms of a loving and beautiful woman. 

Warmth began to blossom inside of his chest. Seeing you like this, with a child in your arms… It made him want to plant his seed, let it take root and grow in your womb. He knew you'd nurture and care for it, a beautiful little boy or girl would be born out of love. They'd be surrounded by two loving parents and uncles who would treat them like one of their own. Ran was starting to imagine how you'd be while decorating a nursery with a swollen belly and a smile on your face. A real smile… 

"Umm…excuse me." The sound of the mother's voice snapped both you and Ran out of your little bubbles. "Oh, I'm sorry - it just looked like he really needed help." You say softly. Once the mother handed over the pump and bottles to her husband, you began to hand over the child to her. "Here's your little one back." She smiled and thanked you for helping them. You excused yourself and took your seat next to Ran. The flight attendant came over to thank you for stepping in and also to thank you on behalf of the other passengers. It doesn’t really take much to be kind.

Ran slowly tried to reach out to hold your hand but was reminded of the very hands that were wrapped around your neck. He stopped himself midway before you could notice. The solemn look on your face made him regret his actions. If things didn't pan out the way they did, perhaps you'd be leaning against his shoulder and touching your belly - signaling that it was time. He truly wanted to be happy with you. Perhaps there was a way to keep you here with him, permanently...

The flight continued in silence between you two. Once the plane landed and passengers were allowed to exit, the couple turned around and thanked you once more. The baby made cooing noises and smiled, she looked happy. Such innocence and bliss - it made you subconsciously rub your belly. This didn't go unnoticed by Ran. Maybe there was a chance to change your futures after all. Just maybe he can try to smooth things over with you after you meet up with everyone, they might just welcome you with open arms and - wait…that’s not how they’d react. Reality hit him square in the face, you faked your death and went into hiding with help of Bonten’s leader. Traitors were subjected to severe punishment. Negotiating the terms of punishment will be his priority. He will still try his best to make this work, you said you loved him after all, right? Did you really mean it?

Stepping foot back into Tokyo was hard. You’d grown used to the quiet and sounds of the ocean, it was much more soothing than the sound of cars, trains and people. Putting on a face mask, you hid your face from the crowds - remember, you're dead after all. 

You and Ran made your way through security and headed to the parking lot where his car was. When the garage attendant greeted him, he paused for a brief moment, blinking and taking a second look at you. “What space is my car parked in?” Ran asked with a curt tone, the fact that someone else was staring at you made him rather irate. “Oh, space 13 sir.” The attendant bowed and handed the keys over. Ran took the keys and didn't even say thank you as he walked away, you bowed to thank the man and followed Ran. "You're in a pissy mood…" You pointing out the obvious wasn't needed. 

As he drove down the highway, you began checking for hotels that had availability, you didn't want to stay in the same living space with Ran. "Can you drop me off at this hotel? I want to rest before meeting everyone." For a moment everything went silent, you were a fool to think that he would let you stay somewhere else. "You're not staying at a hotel, you're coming home with me…" He chuckles and places a hand on your thigh. This was not part of the agreement. "You said-" You began to protest when he cut you off. "I can't let my wife stay somewhere else when she has a perfectly good home to come to." What the hell did he just call you? "I'm not your wife, Ran." You corrected him, you never signed papers or said 'I do' to each other, he had no right to call you that. He squeezed your thigh a little, his fingertips were starting to dig into your skin and make you flinch. 

"Please, just stay with me…" The importunate tone made you uneasy. Ran was beginning to crack. Sighing in defeat, you nodded your head and muttered an 'ok'. He was quick to put a smile back on his face. It was rather naive of you to expect him to keep his promise. It was hard not to think of all the things that took place in the city you once called home. You wondered if home was going to look the same or if he changed everything. Did he keep your things, throw them out, sell them or give them away to his playthings? There was no use in thinking about it, it’s been 3 years. His tears and sincerity hinted at him truly regretting his actions. “Ran…I need you to be honest with me.” You begin to say as you stare out the window. He hummed in response. “Do you truly love me or do you hate the fact that you lost me? That you were not the one to end things? Or that I didn’t bend to your will?” The question made him slow down the car, just enough to drag out the drive home. Why the sudden bombardment of questions? 

The harsh questions swirled around his head like a maelstrom. Was it his ego that was bruised and not his heart? No…he loved you, he truly loved you. Ran remained silent, he didn’t know what to say in order for you to believe him. His silence spoke volumes to you, you knew he was struggling to find the answer. “Can I show you when we get home?” He said while keeping his eyes on the road. If he’d turn around to face you, he knew he’d stop the car to claim you. Perhaps Ran had a fetish for your love, regardless of his actions - you pushed him out of your life and he came right back for you. When you spotted the building that you once called home, it made a knot in your stomach - you hoped to never see this place again. 

Parking his car in the underground parking lot, he cut the engine and turned to look at you. He could see that your hands were trembling, this place brought back bitter memories and he was the cause of them all. “Let’s go, my love.” Ran said with a sickening warm tone and exited the car. Once he closed the door, you inhaled deeply, pausing for five seconds and exhaling, preparing yourself for what awaited you. 

Taking the elevator to the top floor, you felt your knees almost give out. The scent of hydraulic oil made you nauseous, there is nothing quite like home, huh? The sound of the elevator dinging made your heart beat faster. You were getting closer and closer to the hell hole you were living in while he did his deeds. Each step taken felt like your feet were in quicksand, your legs felt heavy and struggled to keep up with Ran’s long legs. 

Once Ran opened the door, the faint smell of tobacco and sandalwood perforated your nostrils. You were surprised he kept it clean, since you were the one to pick up after him and clean the house - he’s never done housework before. Walking in, you take a look around and notice that he’s changed everything. The walls were painted, the furniture was different, the dining table was gone and even his dishes were different. “It um, looks so different.” You whisper and set your things down by the entrance. “Rindou tried his best.” He said while scratching the back of his neck.

When you were gone, Rindou threw all your things out against Ran’s orders. He couldn’t handle seeing his older brother lose himself over a dead woman that he claimed he felt nothing for when he was out cheating. Rindou hired interior designers to renovate Ran’s home. However, he was unsuccessful with renovating the master bed and bath. The interior designers were threatened with a pistol to their temples if they even walked into those rooms. Aniki…you need to fucking let it go. Rindou would say it over and over again, but Ran refused. 

This didn’t feel like home and you were glad, it was a stranger’s home afterall. “I shouldn’t be here.” You say and take a step back but Ran wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. “Come on, let’s rest and then we can go see everyone else.” He whispered in your ear. It gave you chills, this felt like a trap. 

“Ran, please…I can’t.” You whimpered and felt the tears well in your eyes. Trepidation began to rattle your nerves. Everything began to get blurry as your heart pounded in your chest. He began to guide you to his bedroom while still holding you from behind. When he opened the door and your eyes scanned the room, you felt a pang in your chest. The bedroom remained the same. Your once shared bed, the dressers, nightstands and photos remained the same as the day you left. “Welcome home, (Y/N).” 

END

Tags:

@rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj @whatsonthemirror @jcrml @reiners-milkbiddies @unr-u-1y @bakugosgf2005  @whoisneth  @bluephoenix908  @asmosslut @laurenzitaa @uniqueeggtoast @arlertsbaby 

[saturnisscreaming]

Realistically how long do you think it would take you to realize you were in a time loop?

[finleyforevermore]

I want to cover musical songs with my friends!!! :D

Only problem: I don't know...how to...do...that-

[preposterousgreen]

Canonically, Angeal is a firm believer in leftovers. Food waste is a terrible thing and should be reduced wherever possible. His freezer is a veritable shrine to the idea of cooking up a big batch of food and portioning it out for reheating when needed. The thought of the compressor dying and taking that hoard of edible treasure with it scares him...

But nothing makes him break out in a cold sweat quite like Zack mentioning that he ate or is going to eat leftovers.

[kelppsstuff]

I think I know how I want to end this series but you guys play an important roll in how this will end. I love involving you guys in my works and I thought this would be a great way to involve you guys!

Also I have people wanting to be in the tag list for pt2 so if you’d like to be in it please comment and let me know.

With love kelp 💛

Part one

[starz4star]

𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑮; 𝑷𝑻𝟏

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠; fwb/matt + cheater/reader.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; angst, suggestive,language,just kissing, no smut..yet....

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧; You just wanted to get away from your bf luka for a night... nothing more.. Right?

✮⋆˙!! Feel free to give any type of feedback !!✮⋆˙

- MATTHEW ✰

You think i could stay the night tonight?-

-Fs What's up?

Nothing, just luka being a dick again -

- Alright, princess, if you say so

Read at 10:09pm

"𝑰𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒅𝒎𝒊𝒕, 𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒊 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 ?"

"Hey"

"Hi"

"Thank you for..letting me stay the night"

"No, of course, he's an asshole"

"You don't even know what he did." i let out a giggle when he said that , Matt has always been there for me, no matter what. It was nice...

"I know it was probably stupid, come 'n "

"𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓭𝓻𝓾𝓷𝓴 , 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓲𝓽 𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓫𝓾𝓽..."

"So his excuse for hitting up your friend was that he never gets laid anymore?!"

"I mean...if you put it that way.."

"Cmon, princess, yk you dont deserve that..."

That nickname. He knows what it does to me.. it drives me crazy. He can't. I can't. We shouldn't. Right?

"𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 '𝓷𝓸 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓲𝓷𝓿𝓸𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓭 ' "

"I know i could treat you so much better princess.." he said while brushing a hairstrand from my face behind my ear

"I know you could..but you aren't my boyfriend." I said shifting in my position on their couch, i swear i could feel my self getting wetter and wetter by his sweet talk.

"Let me show you what i would do if i was" Matt muttered against my face and without another word he kissed me . It wasn't rushed like i thought it would be..not that I've thought about him kissing me before or anything....

It was slow yet sweet his hand on my face moving me closer to him while my hands dug into his hair, his mouth now disconnecting mine and kissing my jawline until he found my sweet spot on my lower neck which made me let out a small moan

" Matt- mhhhh," i tried to form some sort of words. "we shouldn't do this.."

" Just tell me to stop, and i will," he told me, coming up from my neck now in front of me, but only inches away.I know i should've said something i really should've...

[awesomenikie]

How long? From hadestown you are loved by me. Play this song as you lower me into the ground.

[endlessmidnights]

Do you ever wonder how long it’d take someone to find you?

[yeisythebear]

Shopping?

[soubi122]

How Long? - PT 4

It's been a long time but part 4 is done.

Warning! Ran's losing it, choking, mentions of death, threating and abusive behavior, both sides are losing their resolve and composure, manipulative, gaslighting - this one was a little tough to write.

The Poisoned Woman

You swallowed hard and held your robe tighter. “Mikey I don’t feel right about this…” The uncertainty in your voice made him sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. “You fucked him, right?” His tone was low and it made the hair on the back of your neck standup. The guilt was eating away at you, the emotions were real, the reaction was real, the tears were real, but the 'i love you' wasn't…right? 

“Y-Yeah but he wants me to come back to Tokyo.” You say in a whisper. “I really don't-” You began but Mikey cut you off with an order. “Do it.” Were his last words before he ended the call. A knot started forming in your throat, to see them again after three years and to come back as if nothing happened? You were more afraid to see Rindou than anyone else, you were almost certain he hated you for how you wrecked his brother and faked your death. Though he has no right to judge you, he covered his brother's ass through his infidelity. The only person who held Ran responsible for his actions was Mikey. 

Stepping back into the kitchen you wiped the tears that were on the verge of spilling, trying your best to just keep calm. Setting your phone on the counter, you stared off into space - playing his words over and over again. Deception was never your strong suit, you regretted saying you wanted revenge - you should have just disappeared from everyone's life. Sitting in silence for what felt like hours, the clock on the wall ticked louder and louder - each tick echoed in your ear and made your fingers twitch. Thinking about Mikey’s order had your stomach in turmoil. 

Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tick-tick… 

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Ran shift on the bed - he was getting up to check on you. Quickly you darted to the fridge and pretended to rummage through it. Long slender arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you in and Ran buried his face in your neck - breathing in your scent as if it was his lifeline. “Can’t decide on what to eat, my love?” There it was, the pang in your chest from hearing that title roll off his tongue. The shakiness in your breathing made him pause, he felt your body tense up - almost as if you were scared. “Ran, I can’t go back to Tokyo…” He began to riddle your skin with kisses, speaking between each kiss and roaming his arms along your waist. “Come with me, we can spend a few weeks at home - I want to keep showing you how much I missed you. And you’ll get to see everyone again - they missed you too.” Would they act like nothing happened? Would they treat you differently? How could you trust them when they lied to you and covered up Ran’s fuck up? 

Aside from the admins and executives, you were also concerned about seeing Mikey. You parted ways not long after that night, there was so much more that you weren't ready for. “Ran, I'm not going back.” You said in a more serious tone. Strong arms spun you around to face him, his eyes were glossy and had tears brimming on his lash line. “Why not?” You hear the heartbreak in his voice. “This was a mistake, Ran. I shouldn’t have…” Your words cut him deep, he spent the night making love to you and making you moan his name over and over again, how could you deny him now? This was for the best, you couldn't go through with Mikey's plan - as much as you resented Ran for what he did to you, your heart wouldn't allow you to hurt him. You weren’t like him, you weren’t like Mikey - you just wanted to fade away. “No…” Ran shook his head and pulled you in to feel his heartbeat. It was pounding and you thought his chest was going to burst. “I can't let you go again.” He was almost pleading, it was tearing you apart and you were faltering. The one thing Mikey was preparing you for, Don't… You think to yourself as you try to push him away. As much as you wanted to tell him the truth, you couldn't, Ran already sees Mikey in a different light. If you were to tell him what happened between you two - you were sure he'd lose his shit. 

“Is there someone else?” Ran hit the nail on the head. Your eyes widened a bit, almost giving away your reaction. Just as you were about to speak, your phone rang. He didn’t let you go, he kept you rooted in place - “Do you love someone else?” His question made the tears begin to well in your eyes, he has no right to ask you or judge you. “Please…Ran, I'm begging you…don't make me go back there.” The shakiness in your voice made him cup your face with both hands. “What are you afraid of, hmm? No one will dare to lay a finger on you.” No, you were sure that the other executives would grill you for answers. That, and you were sure Mikey would do everything he could to torture Ran. As much as Mikey was a King to Bonten, he was also devoted to you. Though he knew Ran would forever hold a place in your heart, he refused to let you fall. 

The phone kept ringing and ringing, Ran was getting fed up with it. He snatched the phone from the counter and read the caller ID, it was a male's name and his eyes darted towards you - without hesitation he answered your phone. “Ran, what the hell are you doing?” You say as you try to take your phone back. Unfortunately, that's the one thing that Ran always had an advantage of, his fucking height. “Who is this?” Ran's tone was threatening and he was already preparing to remove the obstacle in his way. “Hello? Who is this? Where is (Y/N)?” The other person responded with a worried tone. You recognized the voice, it was your landlord from the Cafe. He was calling to check on you as the cafe was closed without notice and he was worried something happened. Kicking Ran behind his knee made him yell and kneel, you snatched your phone away from him quickly. “Hello? …sorry about that. Hmm, yes I'm ok.” You tried to sound as apologetic as possible so that your landlord didn't come rushing to your home. Between some back and forth, you were able to calm the older man down, he treated you like a daughter and worried for you like a father. “Pops, actually I do need a favor. I need to head back to Tokyo for a few weeks to take care of some private matters. Can you watch the café for me?” Hearing you say those words almost made Ran sigh in relief. You were heading back only to set things straight with Mikey and Ran. It was time for them both to let you go. 

After ending the call, Ran questioned you - he wanted to know who that was on the other end and if that was the person who was in his way. “Is that him?” He asked while still kneeling on the floor, for someone so small, you sure knew how to hit him where it hurts. “No, he’s the landlord of the cafe - he was worried when he stopped by and the cafe was closed. He’s a good man, loving and caring of his wife and kids…” That felt like a jab at him, Ran knew he was far from perfect but for you to remind him again made him grit his teeth. The silence was deafening, neither of you knew what to say to each other, it was as if all his efforts went down the drain. He thought you were going to bend to his will after taking you between the sheets and honey coating his words, but here you were keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground. As charismatic as he was he was no longer able to make you waiver. It would have worked with another unsuspecting woman, but you knew better. 

Then it hit him, you mentioned to your landlord that you were going to Tokyo. “So you are coming back with me?” You pinched the bridge of your nose and regretted saying that out loud, you didn’t want to give Ran false hope. “Only for a few weeks, I need to straighten things out with Mikey.” Since when did you become so chummy with him? Why did Mikey save you in the first place? What did you mean to him and what did he mean to you? These questions were burning in the back of Ran’s mind. He didn’t press the issue any further, he wanted to see both your body languages when you meet in person, there was something gnawing at him about this whole situation. Something didn’t make sense. 

“We still haven’t eaten anything…” Ran broke the silence with a small smile on his face, he didn’t want to give away any suspicion or else you may not return to Tokyo. You began to take out a few things from the fridge, preparing sandwiches like the day you did with Mikey. You also brewed some coffee - just the way he liked it. You never forgot. It was the first meal of the day for you both and everything tasted like heaven. 

“This is what you serve at the cafe? It’s great, imagine if you opened a place in Tokyo or even Roppongi? You’d be busy everyday.” The compliment felt like a double jab, praising you and telling you to come home. You smiled while looking down at the cup of coffee in your hands. The memories flooded back to you of all the times you spent experimenting in Mikey’s kitchen. The faces he would make when something tastes horrible and when he encouraged you to keep at it. There was a glint of longing in your eyes that looked like stars in Ran’s eyes. “So, how did you end up here and what made you want to open a cafe?” His question snatched you from your memories. The light faded from your eyes when you realized where you were and who was in front of you. “I had so much time on my hands and ended up experimenting with stuff in the kitchen. It was the only way to keep me distracted and from thinking of you.” That last bit stung, recalling when you relapsed and Mikey had to dive into the deep end with you to save you. As much as you denied that there was someone else in your life, Mikey was there for you. Though the moments spent with Mikey were a blessing they left a bitter taste in your mouth - Ran left a bitter taste in your mouth. “Besides…he didn’t didn’t seem to mind being my guinea pig.” You chuckled and clutched your coffee cup, the smile on your face felt another slap to the face.

 “Who-” Ran’s phone began to ring, it was Rindou. Ran hadn't checked in with anyone else, he was worried about his elder brother. “You should pick up, your brother must be worried about you. He probably thinks I killed you or something. You can go talk in the living room while I clean up.” You say as you begin to clear the table. Ran stayed silent as he took his phone to the living room. When he left the kitchen, you doubled over and kneeled on the floor - what the hell were you doing? Why think of someone else when he’s here? You had no idea what you were doing. You wanted for him to give you a valid reason to move forward with Mikey’s plan - despite what your heart was saying. It was getting harder and harder to stay on track, despite the love making and kisses - it just wasn’t the same. Forgiving him was not an option. 

In the distance you could hear him talk to Rindou but the tone of voice made a knot in your stomach. The words that passed through your ear canal made you nauseous… 'She’s in the palm of my hands and coming home with me. Of course she's still in love with me.’ You only agreed to come back to Tokyo to fix things properly but it did not mean you were his forever. A small chuckle could be heard coming from the living room, Ran was really telling Rindou that you were his and coming home. The more he talked, the more and more he sounded like the Ran you left three years ago. He hasn't changed, there was no way for him to love someone other than himself. That egotistical son of bitch was reminding you of why you relapsed. That laugh sounded exactly like that night. Fool… He wants to play with fire, then you'll let him burn.

When you finished cleaning up, you met Ran in your bedroom - he was sitting on the edge of the bed and waiting for you to come and sit on his lap, just like before. Only this time you grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom, you needed to scrub off his scent from your body before meeting Mikey. “Get some sleep, I’m gonna stay up for a bit longer...” There was vitriol on the tip of your tongue, now why did it sound so familiar to Ran? Oh right, that’s exactly what he would tell you when he wasn’t planning on sleeping in the same bed. You made up your mind, it needed to end, living a life with Ran was just not possible anymore. Not when you were thinking of him. If there was one thing you should have known better was Ran’s persistence and sharpness. The moment you turned away from him, you could hear the bed creak and heavy footsteps behind you. You stepped on the devil’s tail. He spun you around so fast you thought you were going to get whiplash. “You think I don’t know what those words mean?” There was anger behind his question. His eyes almost glowed red, he was spilling his heart out for you and you were spitting in his face. The vice grip he had on your arms was beginning to hurt. “Get your fucking hands off of me!” He was taken back by how your demeanor changed, just a minute ago you were fragile and docile, smiling at a cup of coffee and the next you were…him. 

You were met with his hands wrapped around your throat and your body was pinned against the wall. “Why won’t you just let me love you? Hm? Why?” Ran raised his voice as he began to lose his composure. “I’m trying, I am fucking trying (Y/N)!” Seeing him like this only further accelerated the resentment blossoming in your heart. You were desperately trying to escape, the many morbid thoughts began to cross your mind as you were being lifted from the floor by your neck.

Slowly your oxygen was running out and he was not loosening his grip. Your nails were digging into his arms and broke the skin trying to pry him off but it only made him squeeze tighter. It never crossed your mind that Ran would physically hurt you, he never let his temper get the best of him but this was different. He was desperate, why? “You belong to me sweetheart, no one else can have you…not that landlord, not anyone on this island, no one. Do you understand me?” He was almost enjoying the position you were in. Nothing he was saying was making sense, where did he get the idea that you were fucking the landlord, especially after you told him that he was like family? Was Ran Haitani snapping?

The devil was real and he was standing right in front of you. Call it the lack of oxygen or the panic that was swallowing you whole…but he was real. The rage he felt was radiating off of him like a poisonous gas. Not only was he crushing your throat, but he was even making the air around you thick and unbearable. He’s going to kill me…Mikey…help me. He was the last thing you could think of as everything went black.

The tears that fell from your lashes caught his attention as the light was fading from your eyes and your hands dropped to your sides. He could see you slipping and it made him come crashing back down to reality, he immediately released your throat and you collapsed to the floor. “Baby…I'm sorry-I…” Ran began to say and knelt before you, the moment he reached to cup your cheek there was no reaction or reflex. You passed out on the floor, he thought he was going to lose it. There was no going back - he just tried to kill you. The low shallow breathing could be heard in the silent room, he shook your shoulder to try and wake you up but you remained still. Ran's hands began to tremble, was it from anger or fear? 

Turning your body over, he picked you up off the floor and gently placed you in bed. You were still alive but he might as well have killed you then and there. Would you now fear and resent him, would you change your mind about going back to Tokyo? Should he pay to have a private aircraft to transport you back into Tokyo while you're unconscious? There would be no way he'd have the time to get that together by the time you'd regain consciousness. It would take 10 hours to reach the south end of the island by car - he was beginning to overthink everything. “(Y/N), I’m sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you.” He kept repeating it over and over, it was as if he was reassuring himself instead of you. The longer you laid on unconscious, the more Ran's hands trembled. The qualm that snaked its way through his mind was making him lose his composure. Who would have known that he would place the noose around your neck yet again… 

*a few hours later*

Soft sunlight bled through your windows as you felt the warmth of the sun on your face. Slowly your eyes opened and struggled to focus - everything was blurry. You groaned softly and rubbed your eyes, the swelling of your eyelids caught your attention and you pause. Soon the memories come flooding back as you turn your head to the right and see the devil sleeping without a care in the world. Last night…he- The thoughts in your head were interrupted as Ran jolted up from his sleep when he felt you shift from the bed. Gasping and flinching, you backaway and grab the nearest object to use as a weapon. It pained him to see you like this - the purple marks around your neck stared back at him. There was a clear indicator that you lost all faith in him. “Baby…” He spoke, his voice cracked and he began to slowly crawl closer to the edge of the bed. 

“Don’t…don’t fucking come near me Ran.” The venom on your tongue made him clutch his chest. He remained still and didn’t move an inch - all his effort went down the drain in an instant. “Get out.” You said while looking him dead in the eye. Ran opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of a vehicle pulling up in front of your home. You dared not to take your eyes off of him, if you did - he’d take the opportunity to disarm you. His eyes narrowed, darkness began to cloud his handsome features. The devil is beginning to stir.

“Expecting someone?” Ran said with a low tone, it made a shiver run down your spine. “Fuck you.” You spat and immediately regretted your choice of words. Ran was now face to face with you, he didn’t even mind that the object penetrated his skin and drew blood. “Say that again…I dare you…” He's starting to crack. As much as you didn't want to look away, your eyes darted towards the window and through the sheer curtains you could see him. The landlord of the Cafe was in front of your house, worry ran through the wrinkles in his face as he approached your front door. "He's coming over for something more than a well-being check, isn't he?" It made you sick how Ran was making up these things about you. 

The person who was falling apart for you yesterday at your café was gone. This is Ran's true nature - a perfect liar and a perfect heartbreaker. You were being overdosed with a mixture of poison, hatred, resentment. Poison for allowing him to seep into your skin, hatred for allowing yourself to fall into his arms again and resentment for what he’s put you through. The sound of the doorbell echoed through your home. “Go on…answer it.” Ran’s low tone made the hair on the back of your neck stand. “Don’t…I mean it.” You warned him, you knew the moment, you’d open the door he’d do something reckless. 

You slowly made your way downstairs and grabbed the nearest hoodie to wear - it was to try and hide Ran's marks around your throat. Inhale, pause and exhale. The inner voice was saying as you reached for the door. Opening it, you smile and the older man exhales in relief. "(Y/N), I'm so glad you're ok. Is everything alright, you gave my wife and I such a scare." He said still concerned that you weren't well. "I'm so sorry I worried you and your wife. I'm ok." You said meekly and smiled. Ran was in the other room, listening and waiting. He was waiting for you to slip up. Those who have been unfaithful will always have a guilty conscience. They will question your every word, your every move and god forbid you do something out of character - they will forever be plagued by their insecurities. 

"I'll be heading out soon pops, if you can please post a sign on the front door - I'll be gone for a few weeks." You say while trying your hardest not to cry, you were worried about this man's safety. If Ran decides to blow a gasket then you'd probably die here today. The old man nodded and pulled you in for a tight hug, your body stiffened out of fear. After releasing you he patted your head and spoke. "Whatever it is you're going through right now, I hope everything will be ok. You know me and (wife's name) will always be here for you." His words were sincere, he saw right through you and tried to comfort you. "Thanks pops." You said softly and bowed. 

As he walked away you could hear Ran's footsteps from behind you. Slowly he closed the door for you while still remaining out of sight. The tears began to stream down your face yet your face remained still. "You did well…lying to him like that - knowing how close to death he was." His words were heavy, they hurt and you dropped to your knees. Every possible action you wanted to take was running through your head. You couldn't think straight, much less get back up on your feet. "Pack your things…our flight leaves at 4:15." He was cold. 

I hate love.

End Part 4.

TAGS: @rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj @whatsonthemirror @jcrml @reiners-milkbiddies @unr-u-1y @bakugosgf2005  @whoisneth  @bluephoenix908  @asmosslut @laurenzitaa @uniqueeggtoast @arlertsbaby 

[boba-foxy]

Paula Toledo-How Long? stimboard by me!! (creds to all gif owners!!)

🤎🐾🏖

🧸🎶🧸

🏖🐾🤎

[GIF 1: Someone playing with brown fur (END ID)]

[GIF 2: A person showing off some fursuit paws, they are brown/cream in colour with cream claws & light purple pawpads (END ID)]

[GIF 3: A GIF of some waves crashing through rocks on a beach (END ID)]

[GIF 4: A person petting a plushie of the San-X character Rillakuma (END ID)]

[CENTER IMAGE ID: The cover art of How Long? by Paula Toledo (END ID)]

[GIF 5: A person petting a brown teddybear (END ID)]

[GIF 6: A GIF of some waves flowing through a beach (END ID)]

[GIF 7: A person showing off some fursuit paws, they are brown in colour with multicoloured claws & toebeans with Playstation symbols on them & the pawpad in the center looks like TV static (END ID)]

[GIF 8: Someone stroking some brown fur (END ID)]

[IMAGE: The Kirby character Daroach on a yellow/red gradient background with white text w/ a blue outline reading: “Please read my pinned post/DNI list before interacting! Thank you! with small text in heavily stylized pixel font next to it reading “by boba-foxy on Tumblr!” with a small dark red border around the image (END ID)]

[anxiousdragoncollector]

How long?

How long were people gonna let me live my life thinking the line was

"You can dance, you can die, having the time of your life"

How long

When was somebody tell me it was "Jive"

I only know this now because of subtitles

[fooltofancy]

arrive at work

dink around for ten minutes

walk into break room

SINK JUST ON FOR SOME REASON