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dreamer213 · 2 years

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Broken Machines: Lights the Dark

Chapter 31: Longing

The clothes from bought for the investigation were brought to her house by the next morning though Penny wasn’t awake when they arrive. She had waken up at sunrise but choose to go back to sleep, in no mood to face anything or anyone yet. But once she does go downstairs she just picked up the boxes, puts the clothes away in her closet then heads right back to bed. Eventually, she realizes sleeping isn't numbing her enough to ignore the pain in her chest. So she heads back downstairs to the kitchen to grab a snack, hoping to drown her sorrow in junk food. Pulling out some cold pizza from the fridge and heats it up in the microwave while she grabs a cup of root beer. While she’s pouring Pietro enters the room and strides up to her while her back is turned. She looks awful, her hair was a mess, her pajamas were badly wrinkled and she had this air of sadness wafting off her. When she turns around it only gets worse as her usually cheery smile had been replaced with a cold neutral expression, her eyes look so empty, and there are dried tear strains on her cheeks down to her chin. She takes a swig of her soda before noticing her dad staring at her.

Penny: Oh, hey Dad.

Pietro: Hey, baby. Whatcha doing?

Penny: Just getting some leftovers and a drink.

She says without a hint of her usual energy making her father worry when more. Just then the microwave finishes cooking and beeps, Penny goes over and takes out her pizza. With food and drink in hand, she walks out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

Penny: I’m eating this in my room. I’ll bring down the dishes later.

She states uncaringly before ascending the stairs and locking herself in her room again. This only worries Pietro more, with her nonreaction to his presence and fear of what this could do to her mental health, he has no choice but to call for backup. Penny does follow through with cleaning up after herself but doesn't come back down again for the rest of the day. The next afternoon Penny is staring aimlessly at her bedroom ceiling when someone knocks on her door. Penny rolls out of bed and opens the door for her unknown visitor.

Neon: Damn girl, you look shittier than I expected!

Cried Neon as stood in Penny’s doorway, lacking her usual loud appeal of bright clothes and roller blades instead she was clad in a pastel blue hoodie, skinny jeans, and technicolor sneakers. Penny looks her up and down confused but Neon walks past her and into her room. Neon takes a good look around, examining the space.

Neon: So this is where you sleep, huh? Gotta say I thought it be a little more…techi, you know?

Penny: What are you doing here?

Penny finally questions the other redhead as the shock fades. Neon turns back to her, hands in her pockets and a surprisingly stern look on her face as she explains the situation to her.

Neon: Your dad called me, he said you needed some help getting out of this funk you’re in. And from the looks of it he definitely made the right call.

Penny: What do you mean by funk?

Neon raises an eyebrow and looks Penny up and down incredulously for a second before elaborating.

Neon: Penny, you look like you haven’t showered, brushed your hair, left this freakin, or stop crying since the last time I saw you! You’re an absolute train wreck and it’s only been like two days!

Penny: And? Is there a time limit for how long I get to be upset?

Neon: No but-

Before Neon can counter Penny crawls back into bed and under the covers, hiding away from the conversation.

Neon: Hey!

Neon shouts before running over to Penny’s bed and trying to pull the blankets off her much to Penny’s protest.

Neon: C’mon girl you can’t just shut yourself in here and wallow in your misery all day, it’s super depressing!

Penny: That’s the point, I am sad and don’t want to do anything, so just let me be!

Neon: Oh my God. Penny, are you seriously getting this messed up over one guy?

Penny: Yes!

Neon: Look, I get that first love and first heartbreaks are a bitch but still, this guy couldn’t have been so amazing that you’d implode over him this freakin quick! It’s so-

Penny: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS LIKE! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO ME!

She shouts throwing the blankets aside and meeting Neon's gaze with a rage-fueled glare. After all, she’d told Neon about Whitley and their relationship Penny couldn’t believe she was being this insensitive!

Penny: I LOVED HIM! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT BECAUSE OF HIS FATHER, I CAN’T SEE HIM ANYMORE! HE DIDN’T EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO TELL ME HIS FEELINGS!

Neon stares at her wide-eyed, but instead of matching Penny’s anger or backing off Neon asks pretty out-of-pocket questions.

Neon: Wait, for real? His dad didn’t give you two a chance to talk alone? Even with the heavy feels you were throwing around? Really?

Penny: YES! IN FACT, I THINK HE DID WHAT HE DID JUST TO PUSH ME OUT! WHEN THE GENERAL TRIED TO SUGGEST A IDEA THAT COULD HELP HIM AND KEEP US TOGETHER HIS FATHER JUST DISMISSED IT AND TOLD HIM TO WALK US OUT WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!

Neon: He dissed the General? No way! What a freakin jerk!

Penny: HE’S WORSE THAN A JERK HE’S A HEARTLESS MONSTER!

Neon: Yeah, sounds like it! What else would you call that piece of trash dad?!

Penny closes her eyes, angry tears falling down her cheeks as the pain in her chest is mixed with a burning hatred toward the man who thwarted her chance to state in touch with the boy she loved! Lost in anger Penny shouts every negative word she could think of to describe Jacques Schnee.

Penny: RUDE, COLD, UNTRUSTWORTHY, NARCISSISTIC, A CRUEL BASTAR-

Downstairs Pietro waited by the steps patiently waiting to see if Neon could help lift Penny’s mood. But he trembles in his chair when he hears his sweet daughter shouting obscenities so loud he could hear it vibrate through the walls. This continues for a while until Penny runs out of words and goes silent and red faced still seething in anger. Neon looks at her with triumphant gaze before committing on her little outburst.

Neon: Wow, didn’t think you knew how to cuss like that, but damn! You can go off when you’re pissed!

She states, chuckling lightly at the surprisingly high amount of verbal venom the sweet android could dish out.

Neon: Good to see you’ve moved on to the rage phase.

Penny: Rage phase?

Penny questions after catching her breath, confused again by Neon’s sudden tone shift. Neon doesn’t answer her outright, instead sitting down on the bed next to her and patting her shoulder reassuringly. She puts on an air of sagely wisdom before clarifying what exactly she’s been doing.

Neon: You see, Penny Pop when a girl goes through a bad heartbreak she has to traverse the stages of grief to get over it. And it looks like you sped through the first two, denial and bargaining, then dove head-first into the third, depression. So I rilled you up to push you into the next phase, rage, to get you out of it.

Penny: But why? Why couldn’t you just let me grieve on my own time like a normal person?!

Penny shouts in annoyance but instead of quipping at her anger Neon lets out a deep sigh and looks down. Her bouncy energy replaced with a somber tone and the the gleam in her eyes has deemed.

Neon: Because I…I don’t want you to get stuck like that, sinking into a pit of despair and all. Frankly speaking we can’t afford to lose you right now, Penny. Things haven’t been lost good for a while now and we need you out there fighting with us. Mantle and Atlas-Fuck the whole kingdom and the most of the world has fucked up to hell and back and you are one of the only people strong enough to help keep this shitfest together while the general tries to fix it!

She cries, tears falling from her eyes down her cheeks. Penny is taken a back, Neon had always seemed the type to take everything nonchalantly but apparently that was not the case. Though out all this she’d been pushing herself so hard to keep going but she’d never thought that someone like Neon could have been doing the same thing. She and all of Team FNKI seemed so relaxed despite everything going on. But could it all have been bravado? Was the know fun loving and lackadaisical huntsman putting on an act to keep pushing through the rough. Penny couldn’t help but wonder how much she might have missed about her friend’s condition while engulfed in her own but her thoughts are interrupted when Neon continues her plight.

Neon: Look, I’m not asking you to get over it or him anytime soon. But please just…just try to be healthy about it, okay? Don’t make this the end of the world for you when there’s still a lot of world you haven’t seen yet.

Neon states, resting her head on Penny’s and pulling her close. She’s been through plenty of heartbreaks but never anything quite like what Penny had. She knew this would stick with her for a good long while but still she couldn’t lose her little friend to it so easily. Not after she helped her and her team so much and brightened her days with her crazy love story. It be too cruel for the sweet little fighter to lose herself to a bad ending.

Penny: Thank you, Neon. I didn’t mean to scare you or anyone I just…I just really love him. I really wanted to be with him.

Penny says, tearing up again. Neon pulls her into a hug and pats her head with her tail, this wasn't gonna be an easy ride but that’s okay she’d be there to guide her through it.

Neon: I know, kid, I know.

She pats her back, letting the girl have a good long cry after a whirlwind of emotions. When she calms Neon offers Penny a mountain of breakup snacks she’d brought over but with the caveat that she cleans herself up first. Penny complies and goes to have a much need shower, shampoo, and teeth brushing. After thoroughly washing up, Penny feels a bit refreshed, the pain in her chest though still prominent was slightly soothed by the rinsing away of the dirt and dry tears she caked on in her few days of melancholy. After she’s clean and changed into fresh clothes, Penny heads downstairs and is greeted by the sight of her dad, Neon, Flynt, Ivori and Kobalt waiting for her. The team of huntsmen were all dressed far more casually than their usual battle attire. Flynt seemed to be setting up a karaoke machine while Ivori was matching a bowl of punch and Flynt and Neon were setting out the snacks with Pietro. Kobalt is the first to spot her and calls out to her.

Kobalt: There’s Little Miss Gloomy! Get your but over here so we kick off start this after-party!!!

He cheers causing everyone to turn their attention to Penny. From there they hold a mini karaoke party in the living room. Penny has fun singing along to the playlist of silly songs, mostly bad parodies, trying out the medley of snacks, and enjoying the company of her peers. The pain in her heart had lightened a little more and by the time they wrapped things up and left she felt a lot better than before. On Monday Penny managed to wake up on time but as the gets dressed she pauses when she reaches for a brooch to wear. Just looking at the jewel of the crown brooch makes Penny want to sob but still, it was his last gift to her. She dawns it with a somber but slightly soothed expression and gets ready to leave for work. It wasn’t going to be easy but she had to keep moving, if not for her sake then for the city’s.

However, Penny isn't the only one holding back their heartbreak. Only a few days had passed since the closing meeting but in that time much of the staff at the Schnee manor had become greatly worried for their poor young master. Despite his increased workload, Whitley was still just as efficient as ever and completed his tasks without complaint or failure. The problem lay in the fact he’d barely eaten, drank, or slept since that Friday and lacked any of his usual snarky but sophisticated energy. It wasn’t terribly obvious for the first few days, but by Monday the signs were starting to show. Sue had been tasked with retrieving the dishes from his breakfast that morning. As she enters his room Sue notices Whitley hyper focused on his computer and the plate of half-eaten food on his desk. Sue stares at the plate perplexed by the leftovers. Whitley’s diet had always been strict so much so that the boy always clean his plate just to get enough nutrients. Honestly, Sue thought it was hardly enough for a growing boy and wanted to sneak him more if she could. So seeing this much of what was a very modest meal left on the plate was a bit alarming. Slightly unnerved Sue stands next to his desk right in front of his plate and addresses her quiet young master.

Sue: Young Master?

Whitley: Hmm?

Whitley mutter, acknowledging her presence without looking away from the screen.

Sue: Did you not like your breakfast? Was it not good or too bland?

Whitley: No, it was fine.

Sue: Then are you finished with it?

Whitley: Yes.

Sue: Are you sure? You don’t want to take a few more bites or even a little nibble?

Whitley: No, I’m done. Please just take it away.

He states while waving her off. Sue sighs and reluctantly takes away the plate before leaving the room. The sight of unfinished meals soon became common as Whitley’s appetite seemed to get smaller and smaller by the day. The only requests for any sustenance the staff got from him after that were refills of coffee. This increase in caffeine consumption coincided with a case of insomnia as Whitley would work and study from early in the morning to late at night. By Wednesday some of the late-night staff had caught on to this later schedule and would keep a pot brewing for him until the early morning hours. But what everyone pick up on first more than any of the little changes was the simple lack of energy in him since that day. Despite Whitley’s attempts to appear unchanged, the air around had shifted completely since Penny’s departure. He had stopped making witty or jesting remarks, had become almost ghostly quiet, and what little confidence he had in his stride seemed to simmer into meekness. And his eyes, those deep blue gems that were always so bright regardless of how horrid or bleak the manor had become, were gradually growing dull and muted.

This deeming seemed to come so fast yet so slow, starting the day Penny left and coming to fruition only a week later. Nothing seemed to have provoked it from the outside looking in but in Whitley’s heart, it was an obvious slow destruction of his being. He was just walking through the garden, inspecting for his father as he was planning to hold a campaign party there at a potential backer's request, and as soon as he stepped onto the stone path something felt…off. As he walked he came past the spot where Penny had posed for the picture he send to Octavia. That day seemed so long ago but still, the memory was so fresh he could practically see her kneeling by the flower bed staring at the plants in wonder. As he continued to walk through the ground more and more memories of their time together there resurfaced, like wisps of the past or phantoms of the mind, appearing around every corner and path he treads. At first, Whitley tried to ignore these memories but soon they were so piercing and real he felt like he was relieving them from a distance. Panicked Whitley started to run, run from memories of the warm hands he could no longer hold, the kind smile on the lips he’d never get to kiss, and the joyful voice that would never grace his ears again.

He ran until he was out of breath, stopping at the gazebo to take a rest. But still, the phantoms had followed. The moments he and Penny had shared here were so vivid Whitley could feel his heart tearing itself to ribbons. He sat down to catch his breath but not on the side he usually sat. No, this time Whitley sat in the seat Penny had occupied in her time her, laying his head down on the table where her hands would rest as they chatted, eat, or drank tea together. Once he’s sat an overwhelming sense of tiredness befalls him, and too weak to fight Whitley goes to sleep. As he drifts he recalls the girl who sat here with him so much joy, her smell, her voice, her touch, and her bright beautiful smile lulling him to sleep.

He’s not out for long but even so Whitley starts to dream.

He dreams of her in the garden wearing the sundress they’d picked out together as they wander through the ground and talked about nothing and everything. This went on for what felt like forever until they tired and sat on a patch of grass. Penny sits down first and offers her lap to him and Whitley with no hesitation access. Resting his head on her thighs while she caressed him was so soothing, the feeling of her soft fingers running through his hair and rubbing circles in his chest was pure bliss. He gazed up at her, eyes full of love and happiness, and she smiled back at him with the warmth of a springtime sun in Mistral. He reaches up and cups her cheek and brushes his thumb over her lips, urging her for a kiss as they lay in comfort. A warm blush graces her cheeks as she bends down but just as their lips are about to meet the sky darkens, flowers around them die all at once, and Penny’s form turns to ice that soon shatters into pieces right in front of Whitley’s eyes.

At that moment Whitley’s eyes shot open, arm outstretched reaching for nothing as he comes to his senses. The tears soon fall from his eyes like a river as the loneliness creeps in and his eyes lose all their shine. He sits his head down on the table, arm still out with fist clinched as his gaze turns to the lush garden that now seemed completely colorless to him. He doesn’t move an inch and weeps silently until his mother and Mary come upon him during Willow’s usual drunk constanaustal. They almost pass him when Willow notices his gaze and drops her half-full glass of red wine and cautiously walks over to him. When their gaze met Willow falls to her knees and breaks down into a fit of hysterical sobbing at his feet.

Her youngest child, her little meadow, her precise prince who had always stayed at her side was dying, he was dying on the inside right before her eyes, and she had been too lost in her own despair to even attempt to save him. Half drunk and bereaved Willow clings to her only son’s legs and cries, weakly apologizing for letting him be ruined between choked sobs. After a few moments, her cries get through to Whitley, and he looks down at her with empty eyes then at the broken glass before reaching down and patting her head. He stands up slowly before bending down to her level. Wrapping his arms around her Whitley carefully pulls her back onto her feet and then walks her back over to Mary completely silent.

Whitley: Call someone to clean up the mess and put Mother down for a nap. I have work to do.

He states almost robotically, eyes still lifeless before walking away both women watching him in silent horror. Whitley continues his day with an empty look in his eyes and works practically on autopilot until it’s time for bed. As he turns in for the evening Whitley knows this can’t continue, he needs to get to the bottom of this Now. Clear his mind and focus on the space he needs to go to as he drifts into his slumber.

Soon he’s back in a familiar room, the council is seated in their respective chairs however the atmosphere is peculiar. Everyone seems dour and miserable as they sit slumped in their seats. Whitley grits his teeth, his peaceful mental room and council of thought had been affected as well. Upset but out of options, Whitley begins the meeting.

Whitley: Welcome back everyone. I know this is sudden but there’s some issues we need to clear up now or we’ll be a risk of a blunder. Owl! State of affairs.

He says annoyance oozing off his voice. Owl adjusts his mask and takes a deep breath before detailing the most recent events.

Owl: Penny Polendina’s mission was completed last week and she has returned to her normal duties as have we. We were given a high workload and higher access to company information from Father as well as a company card to be used for business purposes only.

He says robotically before sitting back down without prompting. Whitley tenses up at Owl’s cold demeanor, though he was meant to be his intellect Owl still had a bit of knowing charm to him, and seeing that fade into rigid information dumping was unsettling. Still, Whitley pushes ahead and continues with the meeting.

Whitley: Okay. Does anyone have any commentary on that?

Everyone is dead quiet and the dark room fills almost suffocating as silence fills the empty space. Eventually, Fox raises his hand which Whitley quickly notices and points at.

Whitley: Have something to say, Fox?

Fox: Yeah, I do. This..is boring.

Whitley: Excuse me?

Fox: This, our work, our day, everything! Every single thing we’ve done since she left feels completely pointless! There’s nothing interesting to look forward to, nothing put any real effort into, nothing to really talk about! And-and…no one to teach our tricks to.

He grumbles, folding his arm and pouting slumping deeper into his chair in frustration. Whitley is shocked by Fox’s sudden outburst but his attention is soon drawn elsewhere as the others start to chime in.

Peacock: I have to agree, everything feels like such a bore with her gone. I mean our just supposed to go back to greedy glances and self-serving components after we’ve had months of heartfelt stares and genuine praise? That’s like trying to eat spoiled store-brand steak after months of wagyu! It’s disgusting.

Lion: True, even if things weren’t perfect it was a lot better with her around than not. We actually had a reason to be forward, do what we wanted, and be tough on people who errand it. Hell, we even talked down to an adult in public and kick him out without getting in trouble! We pull a stunt like that and got away with it!...All for her.

Whitley aghast at the wave of negativity he’s receiving directly from his own psyche. How could this pain have reach this deep this fast? Had all of him been infected with this deep sorrow so soon. He turns to face the rest of the council, panicked, hoping to find at least some stability in the room somewhere. But it’s pointless, Donkey, Oriole, Mouse, and Bunny were in just as sorry a state as the rest of them. Three of the four are muttering to themselves, wallowing in their shared misery as Whitley stares on helplessly.

Donkey: We knew this would happen, we knew from the start this is how it would end. Why did we even get our hopes up when we knew it would crash and burn? How could we be so stupid?

Mouse: How long will it take before she going to forget about us? She said she won’t but if we can’t reach her then how can we be sure? She could get into accidents and lose her memories. She could have been traumatized by the way Father treated her and her mind might force her to forget about us to recover!

Oriole: That would be for the best. She deserves better than a weak man like us. One couldn’t stand up to our father to start with her, or even speak up when he insulted her or even say the words back when she told us she love-

Whitley: DON’T SAY IT!

Whitley screams as he covers Oriole’s mouth with both hands, face contorted in distress and agony. He didn’t want to think about that part, he couldn’t! It was just too much to bare on top of everything! He could handle knowing she felt that way for him without being able to reach her.

Whitley: She didn’t say it. The words never left her mouth so she didn’t say it. She didn’t say it out loud so she didn’t say it to us.

He tries to lie to himself to calm his hurting heart but it’s far too late for that as Bunny interjects.

Bunny: She…tried.

Whitley and the rest of the council save for Wolf whip their heads toward the smallest members as his tiny voice echoes around the room. It's silent as the little boy wipes his tears and hugs his stuffed toy closer before pulling his mask down to wear properly and continuing.

Bunny: She tried to say it. She tried so hard to let us know how she felt. She even kissed us when she couldn’t get the words out. So how? How-

His voice grows deeper and more stressed with every word as does his grip on the bunny doll until the soft toy finally pops! It burst open with an explosion of cotton stuffing that quickly turns to flames, the same flames the real toy had been destroyed by. The fire soon engulfs Bunny and his chair, starting everyone deeply. But the flames disperse as quickly as they appeared and left in the place of the small boy was another figure. It was Whitley at his current age, dressed in the same clothes he wore at the Grand Mystère, blue tie now a sweet pink with a cotton ball tail to his waist instead of a wolf fur. And in his hand in place of the stuffed toy was a pocket watch, his pocket watch. Shining in all its love-filled glory while the former bunny grown into a true rabbit stares at it tearfully behind his gold embroidered white rabbit mask.

Rabbit: How could you say she didn’t say it? That she didn’t love..us, love you!

Whitley: I, I-

Whitley fumbles, he can’t lie to himself anymore, not about this, not about her. He couldn’t deny the happiness being with her had given him. The joy they’d shared had been more than he could ever have imagined and asked for. More than he had known for most of his life and far truer than anything he’d had before! He didn’t to be greedy with this but still, he wanted, oh God he wanted her to stay and be with him. And now that she was gone that’s all he’s wanted every waking moment since!

Rabbit: Don’t pretend that she didn’t fall in love with you, that she doesn’t love us.

Whitley crumbled to the ground at Rabbit’s words, the pain in his heart becoming too much to bare. He tries so hard not to scream or cry, burying his head in the ground to keep the painful thoughts away. But there’s no going back as lights start pouring into the room through cracks overhead. Whitley’s panic only grows as his little world falls apart at the seams around him. But amongst this mental chaos, he hears the sound of shackles dragging across the floor. The sound gets closer and closer until Whitley feels a figure staring down at him. He looks and to his surprise sees Wolf, the whites of his eyes reddened and dry tear stains down his cheeks. Wolf pulls Whitley up, looking him dead in the eye with more fury than he’d ever seen before.

Wolf: Are you really going to let this go?

He asks. Whitley tries to question him but Wolf keeps talking without giving him any room to speak.

Wolf: Are you just going to let him do this to us again? Let him take away all our happiness. LET HIM TAKE THE WOMAN WE LOVE AND THE FIRST PERSON TO LOVE US FOR US AWAY AND KEEP US APART OVER HIS BULLSHIT NEED TO CONTROL US?! ARE YOU REALLY GONNA LET HIM RUIN OUR LIFE LIKE THIS?!

He shouts, aggression turning his face bright red as tears roll down his cheeks. His cries break the darkness around them fully and the room is revealed to be contained in a sliver cage. Most of the cage is trapped in an ice castle while a small crack was left to the open air. It’s a lot to process as Whitley takes in the room's new appearance he notices the council has all gathered behind Wolf, the light from crack washing over them casts a single shadow while the deemer cold glow of the castle casts Whitley’s.

Council of Thought: So what are you going to do?

They ask in unison, the voice coming together into Whitley’s own inner voice. Not too long ago Whitley would have feared his mind turning on him this way, emotions overriding his carefully thought-out plans and survival instinct. But not now, not anymore.

He gets back to onto his feet and pulls Wolf’s hand away, walking towards the opening to the sky. When he reaches the edge he sees a cliff beyond it, the clouds below are dark and too thick to see through. There’s no telling how long the drop to the ground would be nor any clue as to what could be waiting for him at the bottom. But on the wind, Whitley can hear a faint voice calling for him, he can hear her calling out to him. And that’s all he needs to make his decision.

Whitley grabs a bar of the cage in each hand and pulls on them with all his strength. He pulls as hard as he can until they bend and eventually break off. He keeps going, breaking bar after bar until there’s an opening wide enough for him to slip through. Be climbs out onto the edge of the cage, and looks down to the seemingly bottom cliff below. He looks back only to see not the council but himself standing behind him, unmasked and fearless. The other him in the cage knocks and gives his shoulder a light push before fading into him. Whitley’s body moves forward and instead of pulling back, he leans his full weight into the wind, sending him plummeting off the cliff. He closes his eyes tight, he hears Penny’s voice on the wind as he dives into the pitch-black clouds.

Whitley wakes up the next morning rested and full of life. His eyes are bright with confidence and passion as he gets dressed for the day. There would be hard days-no weeks ahead and this wasn’t going to be easy to pull off but Whitley’s made up his mind. He knows what he has to do and nothing going to stop him now. As he combs his hair Whitley looks in the mirror and gives himself a purposeful smile.

Whitley: If she can’t stay with me then I’ll just go to her.

He says to himself before heading to his desk and getting to work. He’ll need a lot of resources, planning, and schemes to make this happen but nothing and no one was getting in the way of him being with the girl he loved.