#((actually a fun little fact about why i hyperfixated on him so hard was because to me he was relatable in regards to 'there's people in my

[lonesuperhero]

I don't need it, no... But goddamn if I don't want it...

*clicks complete purchase button*

[shlonguru]

Lucifer x Fem!Reader - White Party in the Lust Ring

Pairing : Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader (Alastor's sister)

Summary : Being Alastor's little sister can have its perks, but if you're fighting with him it can push you close to certain unexpected people.

Warning : 18+, Smut, oral, creampie, teasing, overstimulation, cunnilingus, daddy issues, daddy kink (shocker), edging, praise kink.

Word count : 5029 words (oml it keeps getting worse)

My hyperfixation on Lucifer is far from over (help) but I have received some requests that all contributed to this smut so I'm sorry that I couldn't reply to one specific request but I would like to thank you all. I hope you all enjoy~ Once again I want to thank @wipmoop for their amazing artwork for the cover! If you wanna check out the uncensored version of the cover, it'll be up on their page soon, they're genuinely awesome, check them out with love ♥ Shlonguru out! o/

~ At the Hazbin Hotel ~

Life was hard being Alastor’s little sister. He might have been very good at protecting you but he made sure your freedom was limited in return. In fact, you weren’t even sure if he protected you because he cared about you or because he was territorial. And he was hard to bargain with. You were living with him amongst others at the Hazbin Hotel and were more than bored during your days until you were offered a job working as Lucifer’s assistant. The only reason Alastor didn’t make a fuss about you working there, despite him absolutely hating Lucifer’s guts, was because Lucifer was powerful enough to make sure you were safe at all times.

This morning, you had just been in a fight. Some of your friends had invited you to a fun night out and Alastor had noticed you packing more than usual on your way to Lucifer’s. He had noticed as he walked by your room.

“Aren’t you packing a little heavy today?” He inquired.

You rolled your eyes already knowing what was coming.

“Yeah, my friends are going out in the Lust Ring tonight, so I packed another outfit and other stuff so I can change before I join them.” You replied.

“The Lust Ring? I don’t think so, dear. Do you want to end up like Angel Dust, with an Overlord owning your soul?” He calmly replied.

“Yeah, you’re right! Which is why I have the perfect solution for that, how about I don’t sell my soul to anyone? That should do it I think.” You stated snarkily, zipping up your bag.

“I’ve already explained to you that it isn’t that simple and that you have more value to the eyes of most people in hell than you seem to realize.” He countered, slightly losing his cool.

“Listen, I’m a fully grown adult, I know how to take care of myself.” You calmly tried to explain.

“You might be a grown adult, but you are not nearly as strong as you would need to be to take care of yourself.” He raised an eyebrow, knowing he had made a good point.

“Huh… So, what do you want me to do exactly? Rot here for the rest of eternity? No, I’m going out.” You started making your way out of the hotel when he snapped his fingers, making your bag teleport next to him.

You angrily walked back and grabbed it again.

“Stop that, will you? I said I’m going out!” You walked away only for him to snap his fingers again, repeating the same process.

You turned around red of anger. “You’re gonna make me late to work!” You shouted.

“You’re lucky I let you work for this minikin at all.” He replied defiantly.

“Fuck you!” You yelled, flipping him the finger and leaving, slamming the hotel’s door behind you and choosing to abandon your bag.

~ At Lucifer’s Tower ~

You got along with your boss really well, you both were very cheerful beings and your personalities just clicked, he had offered you the job of assistant because he was “having a hard time handling all of his important business”. You knew by now that he was actually just working on his ducks so much that he was never able to handle the rest of his business on time. He had also offered you the job when he saw how bored you were at the hotel, that and your common trait of fighting with Alastor almost every time you were in the same room. You enjoyed working for him and he was very grateful to have you.

You arrived at Lucifer’s tower a little late, but it wasn’t unusual for you. Lucifer was busy designing a new duck in his office when he heard you arrive and came to greet you.

“Hello y/n!” How are we doing in this fine morning?” He smiled, always happy to see you.

“Hello Sir, I’m ok.” You replied in an irritated tone, the difference with your usual cheerful self, alarming Lucifer.

“What’s up? You seem like, super down.” He questioned.

“Yeah, I got into a fight with Al.” You replied coldly, removing your coat and hanging it.

“Oh, that bastard, it’s like he can’t start his day if he hasn’t ruined someone else’s.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of Alastor.

“Right? That asshole...” You let out.

“What did he do this time?” He crossed his arms, resting his shoulder against the wall near you.

“My friends are going out tonight in the Lust Ring and they invited me, but he won’t let me go cause he’s afraid I’m gonna end up in danger. Fuck, I can’t do anything. Hell is literally filled with bad people, I can’t just stay locked up forever.” You whined.

“Wait, you frequent the Lust Ring?” He asked curiously. You looked at him and noticed a hint of red on his face.

“I would like to! But he won’t let me!” You moaned. “Why? Is that surprising?” You added.

“No…” He looked away, clearly embarrassed. “I guess I had never seen you under that light before.” He smiled. “But you are a bad bitch, so it’s not too surprising.” He finished.

Lucifer paused, looking away, kind of hesitant.

“What if I accompanied you? That way, he couldn’t say he’s afraid you’d end up in danger, you’d be with the strongest being of Hell~” He offered in a self-assured tone.   

“Really? You’d do that?” Your eyes sparkled at the offer.

“Sure! it’s been a while since I came by and said hi to Ozzie anyways.” He chuckled.

You paused for a second and remembered you had left without your bag.

“I left all of my clothes and stuff at the hotel though.” You sighed.

“I’ll get someone to go get your stuff for you, how does that sound?” He smiled.

“You’re the best!” You cheered excitedly hugging him. He smiled and hugged you back.

“Is there a theme to this party?” He asked.

“It’s a white party.” You smiled.

“Not very surprising of the Lust Ring if you ask me.” He stated.

You nodded and proceeded with your day, your mood back its usual merry self.

By the end of the day, you had gotten your bag back and had gotten ready at Lucifer’s place.

He was waiting in his living room for you to finish getting ready in the guest room. The blonde demon was wearing an all-white suit made perfectly for him.

He saw you come out of the room and looked like he had stopped breathing.

You were wearing a white dress that was perfectly balanced between cute and sexy, the contrast with your crimson mane was sumptuous. You had done your make-up for the party, a black smokey, making your usually ethereal ruby eyes look fierce.

“You like it?” You smiled, showing off your outfit.

“Oh damn…” He wiped his forehead, looking warm as he ventilated himself with his hand as he stood up. “You’re hot!” He blurted, catching himself and putting his hand over his mouth. “I mean, not that you usually aren’t, trust me I love your work outfits, you look very preppy it’s great, but you look, I mean, sexy!” He looked embarrassed at how surprised he was.

“Thank you?” You questioned. “Indeed, I wouldn’t wear that to work.” You chuckled. “It wouldn’t be very convenient don’t you think?” You teased, walking up to him. You were close in height, but you still won by a few inches.

“Right! Oh lord land me strength…” He muttered to himself.

“What was that?” You asked.

“Nothing! Let’s go!” He handed you his arm and you left together for the party.

~ At the White Party ~

You arrived at the party, it was huge, everything was screaming lust, and the whole venue was gorgeous. As you walked in, Lucifer spotted Asmodeus, with whom he had fun reconnecting with Asmodeus and even introduced the two of you.

“And this is y/n!” He introduced you after chatting for a while.

“Oh, is this your girl?” Ozzie asked boldly.

You unintentionally blushed and smiled to hide it.

“No…” He replied much more flushed than you. “She’s my assistant.” He added.

“You mean your assistant in bed, right? Cause you two got that chemistry if you know what I mean, it’s like, hard not to notice.” Ozzie continued, noticing how awkward you had both become, making him smirk.

“Stop it Ozzie! I told you it’s not like that.” Added Lucifer seriously before turning to you awkwardly. “Sorry about that y/n.”

“Yeah okay, Luci, then welcome to the Lust Ring to you and your totally-just-platonic-friend then.” He smiled mischievously before leading you to your VIP zone with your group of friends.

You and your friends enjoyed the party, and so did Lucifer. You danced with him, drank with him, in fact, you were all feeling tipsy and at this point acted much more casual with him than you thought possible, though he still made sure you didn’t go overboard. In fact, he had had way more than you but looked completely unaffected, however. You had noticed you two were getting closer and closer as the night went on. You enjoyed grinding against him and he enjoyed it just as much, as well as showing off his own dance moves. And after a few hours, you both sat down at your booth.

“Wow Luci! Thank you so much for tonight you sure know how to party!” You thanked him.

“Thanks! It’s been a while, but it seems like you don’t forget good habits.” He smiled.

“I can’t believe my dickhead of a brother would keep me from experiencing all of this.”

“I mean he sure is a dickhead, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s fair that he doesn’t want anything bad happening to you.” He replied calmly.

“Well, I guess it depends on what you consider a bad thing?” You smiled teasingly at him.

“What do you mean?” He asked tilting his head slightly.

“Let’s just say I’m sure there are things he wouldn’t want happening to me that I wouldn’t consider bad in the slightest.” You looked at Lucifer intently getting a little closer.

“Oh yeah?” He said a smile forming in the corner of his mouth. “Such as what?” He leaned towards you slightly raising an eyebrow.

You took your opportunity and leaned in, pressing your lips against his, surprising him slightly but he immediately reciprocated, running his fingers through your hair. He pulled you slightly closer to him and you rested your hands against his chest. After a moment he started kissing you deeper, getting greedier by the seconds. He placed a hand on your cheek, and you felt his tongue slide in your mouth and your whole body became warm from the inside. You shared this deep kiss for what felt like hours but had probably been minutes before you slowly pulled away, your half-lidded eyes looking at Lucifer with nothing but lust.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, or I won’t be able to restrain myself.” He said looking back at you, gently holding your chin up, looking as lustful as you did.

You laid your hand on his thigh, squeezing it softly and earning a groan from him.

“Are you sure that’s what you want y/n?” He asked one last time. “Our relationship might never be the same.”

You looked him dead in the eyes. “Fuck our old relationship.” You smiled.

He smiled back. “Alright, then.”

And with that he deployed his six wings and took off, surprising you and holding you princess style. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck and looked at him, you could tell from the serious and determined look on his face that he meant business.

You started kissing and sucking on his neck, making him shudder lightly.

“Hold on y/n, I’m going as fast as I can, but if you distract me, it’s only going to take longer.” He pleaded.

“I’m just trying to keep myself busy…” You whispered, licking his earlobe, making his flight pattern weaker.

“Okay, enjoy yourself, I’ll make sure to not restrain myself later…” He added, still looking ahead.

“I would hate it if you did.” You countered, reaching down, and placing your hand on his crotch. His pants were as tight as they could get and what was underneath was throbbing. He immediately stopped mid-flight, making you yelp in surprise.

“Now you’ve done it y/n.” He changed positions, wrapping your legs around him, pressing his crotch against yours and moving his hands to your ass. He proceeded to kiss you deeply, moaning softly as he felt your soft lips against his. You melted into the kiss, feeling how wet your own crotch had gotten already. He pulled out after a moment and looked deep into your eyes, you could see the desire burning in his eyes, though he managed to keep himself more composed than you.

“As much as I’d love to display such an amazing show to all of Hell, it is not really my style.” He smiled. “So, you’re going to be a good girl and behave so I can get us where we need to be.” He looked at you seriously.

You nodded.

“Good.” He smiled, before going ahead and moving you back to princess style as he continued forward.

~ Back at Lucifer's Tower ~

It was hard, but you had managed to keep your hands to yourself for the remaining 2 minutes of the flight.

Lucifer landed through his huge panoramic windows that were left open into his bedroom at the top of his tower.

You had never been into his personal bedroom, mostly just his office, but it was beautiful. The red theme was very elegant, and his Caesar size bed looked incredibly comfortable. You walked inside amazed at how luxurious everything looked.

“Y/n?” You heard from behind you.

You turned around only to be faced with Lucifer’s glowing figure, lit from behind by the moonlight. He had a plotting look on his face, a devilish smile perfectly formed on his confident face. He was calmly walking towards you, rolling up his sleeves.

“I hope you had fun with your little mid-flight teasing…” He fake-chuckled then sighed. “…because it’s time to take responsibility.” The smile was still there but his expression was much more serious.

You didn’t move, you just waited for him to walk up to you. When he reached you, he grabbed your face with both hands, kissing you softly at first. You kissed him back, but the kiss quickly turned into a much more heated one. You kept kissing as you stepped towards his bed, you removed his jacket from him, and he unzipped your dress as he approached the bed.

Your dress fell to the ground, exposing your white laced lingerie. As soon as your dress hit the ground you had found yourself with your legs wrapped around his hips once more, his hands holding you up effortlessly as you made out. You reached the bed, and he laid you on it. He took a good look at your figure, your expression, your curves, your hair.

“Stunning.” He whispered.

“You’re not bad yourself.” You smiled.

“Thanks!” He exclaimed, removing his shirt and exposing his fit figure. You stared just long enough for him to start smirking at you. “Are you okay?”

“Nope.” You answered truthfully.

He giggled.

“You’re funny, now get ready.”

You hadn’t had time to realize what he meant when you felt your thighs get lifted and spread with enough force to surprise you. You didn’t have time to vocally question what was happening that you felt your panties being pushed to the side and Lucifer give a slow lick to all of your womanhood, making you moan louder than you were comfortable with. You rapidly pressed your hands on your mouth. As soon as you had done so you heard him.

“Nuh huh~” He hummed.

“What?” You questioned looking down at Lucifer buried between your thighs, though not doing anything to you anymore.

“Remove those hands and let me hear it.” He looked playful and serious.

You slowly removed your hands, and he immediately went back to his business, licking you thoroughly, you could tell not only did he know what he was doing but he was also greatly enjoying himself while doing so. It was like he could feel your pleasure, giving him the ability to always adjust perfectly. You felt his tongue enter you and go deeper than you thought possible. Your moans were getting louder, he knew what spots were the most sensitive, and he teased them, building your pleasure. He loved the control he had over how you were feeling, he ate you out as tenderly and as roughly as you needed to turn you into a moaning mess, grabbing at the sheets. Every time he felt you get closer, he started teasing another spot, building your frustration alongside your pleasure. It drove you insane and soon enough you found yourself pleading with him to let you come.

“Luci please!” You implored.

“Yes, what is it love?” He asked innocently, playing coy.

“Come on please, stop teasing me.” You pleaded.

“I wanna hear you say it.” He smiled, enjoying the situation to the fullest. “What do you want me to do?” He added.

“Luci please let me come!” You begged; any ounce of pride you had having left your body at this point.

Lucifer got visibly aroused at those words, his eyes turning red for an instant as he went back at it, passionately eating you out and making you come the next moment, unleashing all your pent-up pleasure as your back arched into the leg-shaking orgasm. You moaned his name loudly as you melted into the mattress. You could feel him smile as he finished enjoying you.

You were catching your breath and recovering as Lucifer started kissing up your body, your stomach, chest then neck. That’s when you heard him speak softly.

“That’s for teasing me.” He looked into your eyes before landing a soft kiss on your lips.

You were too astounded to talk back.

At this point his crotch was pressing against yours and he looked more excited than ever.

“Good start now let’s get a little more serious.” He grinned before flipping the both of you making you straddle him as he laid back. You realized at this moment just how much he had planned for you tonight.

“Hmm…we won’t need that.” He snapped his finger making any remnants of clothes either of you wore vanish, exposing your breasts to him for the first time. His eyes devoured you as you felt a false sense of control back. You rested your hands on his chest, pressing your breasts together.

“Is everything okay?” You asked with a teasing tone.

“Nope.” He replied, realizing what you were doing. You grabbed his hand and pressed it against your breast.

“Want some of that, Daddy?” You sneered.

He squeezed your breast in a way that sent jolt in all your body, letting a moan escape your mouth, you face immediately flushing.

“Oh, what was that?” He smirked then proceeded to fondle your breasts again, making you feel weak as you moaned.

“I don’t understand how you do this!” You whined.

“Do what?” He said as he did it again, sending jolts up your body.

“You’re not using dirty tricks on me, are you?” You asked skeptically.

He looked at you and laughed audibly, before composing himself and propping himself up with one hand, placing his mouth next to your ear.

“No y/n, I’m just that good.” He declared confidently. Your face went crimson as you felt embarrassed and tried to hold your moans in as he continued teasing your now rock-hard nipple.

“I mean, besides the fact that I’m pretty confident in my own skill, that must surely mean that we are particularly compatible, don’t you think?” He asked nonchalantly.

You nodded, trying your best not to get lost in the pleasure this tease was inflicting upon you.

Your eyes widened lightly as you realized that your clothes having now been removed from the equation, your private parts were now directly in contact, you used that to your advantage and softly grinded against his shaft, earning a loud moan from him, surprising the both of you.

“I guess you’re right.” You smiled from the corner of your mouth.

He grinned lightly blushing before grabbing your waist and flipping you around as if you were a feather. You were still on top of him but you had now found yourself in a 69, your crotch inches from his face and his throbbing member right in front of you. You didn’t need to look at him to know he was proud of it.

You didn’t want to give him time to take control, so you grabbed the base of his shaft and took his tip in your mouth. You heard him groan as you swirled your tongue around it before giving his cock a hungry lick from the bottom up.

“Easy there, we have all night.” He cheerfully declared, panting softly.

You ignored him and kept enjoying yourself, savoring him like a lollipop.

“I see how it’s- gonna be.” He exclaimed; you could feel him struggling to fake his composure.

In one movement he pulled you even closer to his face and spread your pussy before passionately starting to eat you out again. You quickly felt weak, you pulled his cock out of your mouth, letting a long moan escape as a trail of saliva still linked your mouth to his head.

“Take it easy, I wouldn’t want you to choke~” He taunted.

“Don’t worry about me, this is nothing.” You replied with conviction.

You proceeded to lower your mouth on his cock all the way to the base, his whole member tickling more than the entrance of your throat.

“Oh god-“You had taken him by surprise, forcing an intense moan out of him, as he gripped the sheets tightly, pausing his own activity.

“Oh dear, you might wanna slow down a little.” He gasped.

You had him and you knew it, you moved in swift motions, your tongue wrapped around his shaft, hitting all the way down each time as you felt his body contract and his dick pulsate more and more.

“Holy shit y/n wait, I’m gonna- “He moaned as you felt his cum explode your mouth. This surprised you as you had been so focused on getting back at him, but you swallowed everything. Enjoying every bit of it, sucking him dry, or so you thought.

You finished swallowing and peeked at him, his head laying on the mattress as he caught his breath. He noticed you and grinned through his panting. “Nice play Y/n, impressive even, I hope you had fun.”

“I very much did, thank you.” You replied cheekily.

“Cause now it’s my turn.” He announced. You immediately felt two fingers enter your hole. He voluntarily pressed hard against your G-spot, the sensation so intense you screamed in pleasure. He grabbed your thigh tightly with one hand and fingered you relentlessly with the other. The pleasure overwhelming as you helplessly melted into it.

“Luci…please-“ You attempted but were cut.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” He continued. You grabbed his thigh tightly as you felt yourself getting closer to the edge.

“Come on go ahead, come for me.” He groaned, his calm and sarcastic demeanor replaced progressively by a heated passion. You tried your best to resist but it was pointless. You turned around, catching a glimpse of him, and were caught off guard, witnessing his horns out and his eyes red while he looked like he was intensely enjoying himself. He pulled out his fingers and proceeded to eat you with all his might, his tongue hitting your spot just right to make you climax against his mouth as he savored all of it.

He finished enjoying himself while you recuperated from it all. When you peeked at him again, he had gone back to his usual self.

“Do you often get all red and…horny, I guess?” You asked.

He flipped you around, pressing you against his chest, face to face.

“What was that? Oh, you mean my horns and stuff? Only when I get heated. Do you not like it? Cause I can try to tone it down.” He asked, a worried look on his face.

“No, I like that I get you heated…” You looked away, a light blush appearing on your cheeks.

He smiled softly. He cupped your face then kissed you tenderly.

“You do have that effect on me.”

You felt his member back to its throbbing state. You kissed him deeply yet delicately before looking at him seductively.

“Luci, time for the main course don’t you think?” You rubbed your soaked entrance against his hard member. “I’m at my limit.” You begged.

Having witnessed his previous reactions, you weren’t surprised when you felt his member grow even bigger after you had pronounced those words.

“Good because I’m also reaching my limit.” He answered.

You felt his tip press against your entrance and slide all the way in as you both melted into each other, a deep sigh of relief escaping your mouths.

“Holy-…you feel so good.” He groaned. He sat up, setting you both in a lotus position before resting his hands on your hips and starting to thrust. The pleasure felt so visceral you both moved cautiously as if trying to not come too fast, but without noticing, you both picked up the pace, panting and moaning filling the air. Your hands were gripping his shoulders tightly as you rocked your hips. One of his hands had migrated to your ass, squeezing your cheek tightly and the other was fondling your breast. You cupped his face and kissed him deeply, playing with his tongue as you felt his member twitch inside of you. You ran your fingers through his hair while kissing him and noticed him moan more as you did so.

Soon, the position wasn’t allowing him to move as freely as he desired and he was now standing on his knees, holding both of your ass cheeks tightly as he pounded into you. You were panting heavily as you felt it coming once again.

“Coming already?” He teased, his own panting giving away how he also felt.

You nodded no, not very convincingly. He took that as a challenge and precisely hit your G-spot repeatedly until you came, whimpering and your grip weakening.

“Good thing you’re not coming dear.” He kissed your neck, slightly sucking on it leaving a hickey.

This position had become too much for you, so he laid you flat on your stomach.

“You’re hanging there Y/n?” He asked eagerly.

“Of course!” You replied enthusiastically, it felt like your stamina was bottomless for all this pleasure.

“Good.” He replied. You felt him enter you again hungrily from behind, his body hovering over yours as he held both of your wrists, pinning them down onto the bed. Each thrust forcing a louder moan out of you. It was like the more he fucked you, the easier it became for him to make you come. His moans had also become deeper as he kept thrusting, your own increasing tightness making it harder for him. He moved his hands to your hips and dug his nails into you, allowing him a better control as he thrusted even deeper than before. You held the sheets tightly as you tried your best to match his movements, both feeding off each other’s building pleasure.

“Y/n.” You heard from behind.

You tried turning around to tell him you felt yourself getting closer when you felt his lips roughly take yours. He could’ve sent you over the edge with that kiss alone, but he also thrusted deeper than he ever had at the same time, you could only lean into the kiss as you felt the two of you come simultaneously.

As soon as the wave had finished washing over you, you collapsed on the bed, and he collapsed on top of you. He quickly caught himself though, rolling next to you and pulling you into his arms. You both relaxed for a moment, holding each other.

“Oh, my lord, that was amazing!” You heard him speak first. You turned to him, and he was smiling at you.

“It really was.” You calmly replied.

“I told you I was confident in my skill.” He smiled turning from tender to confident as he traced his finger over your body.

“I guess it was alright.” You declared.

The silence following made you look up, only to be met with a devastated look on his face.

“I’m joking!” You added, feeling bad about your joke.

“Ah! I knew that!” He fake-laughed awkwardly trying to look confident. You laughed at how cute he looked.

You pecked his lips.

You cuddled for a while before you heard a buzzing sound.

“My phone! It must still be in my dress.” You reached your dress, covering yourself with the sheet of the bed, grabbing your phone then heading back to the bed.

You checked your phone and noticed 20 missed calls.

“Huh, fuck him.” You both exclaimed at the same time before staring at each other in surprise and bursting out laughing.

You heard another buzz and was expecting it from your phone, but no new notifications had appeared.

Lucifer grabbed his phone and started laughing nervously.

“What is it?” You inquired.

“That’s, hmm…” He showed you a message that read:

From 'Ozzie 🍆💦' : I saw you took off early with your totally-just-platonic-friend. How’s the banging? 😏🍑

You stared at it for a second then you both exchanged a look and blinked, before bursting out laughing this time even harder.

~ The End ~

[calisotaducks]

DCRC Week #01

Hello DCRC! I know everyone is technically on week 14 now, so I hope you don't mind a late entry. I may or may not have gained a new hyperfixation lately.

With that said, let's get into the very first issue!

These guys really love their beak-shaped architecture huh. Do you think they find earthlings slightly more superior to Xerbians because at least some of them have beaks? Imagine if we put human mouths on every vehicle and building we created. Actually, don't imagine that, I just tried it and I hate it. Let's never do that ever.

jhkj he thinks he's so cool. Are you going for brooding and mysterious or are you just cold up there? It looks like he's wearing a blankie.

You know, having read a few issues ahead it actually surprises me how little we see of coolflames in the next issues. Sure, they're brought up but 90% of the time when PK is fighting anyone it's always just Evronian warriors. You'd think they'd throw in at least a couple of coolflames to boost their numbers, if nothing else.

They've got some pretty neat powers too. Or is that just whatever species these guys used to be? Are these guys not originally from earth? I thought they'd started coolflaming some Duckburg residents already, but maybe not?

He really just went home with a "huh. That was weird. Oh well." after all that.

So we're just gonna throw a tarp over those and call it a day then? Extreme nonchalance runs in the family apparently.

Lyla. Honey. Lyla what have they done to you. Why is your face shaped like that. Why are you so square. You look like you've swallowed a boomerang Lyla I am so sorry.

Wow hold on, is Angus actually pulling a big brain move here? Bringing up the Anxieties story and telling Donald about the supposed disappearance so he'll tell PK? His boss can't blame him for investigating PK OR the disappearance if PK shows up at the party and gets involved with both!

Oh never mind. They're just dumb. That's what I get for giving Angus credit. RIP.

THERE HE IS THERE'S MY BOY!!! HI UNO I LOVE YOU WELCOME TO THE PARTY!!

Have you ever considered not giving your creations claws, teeth or angry eyes maybe? I feel like that might help.

I can't decide what's funnier. If Uno's already messing with him or if he really was just going to shoot him on the spot, no questions asked.

He really said "I need to make fun of you in every color of the rainbow at once for this one."

Uh ohh, interrupted the world's worst sleepover

by the way, whats this funky little pose all the coolflames keep doing?? Do the raptorhands come with being coolflamed or are these guys just like that? Good for them.

I love how much they're immediately trusting each other and working together. Uno lets Donald run off with Ducklair's tech even though he's never heard of him until today. He even goes out of his way to make him breakfast! And Donald telling him about his nephews right away. I'm sure Uno could have found out about them on his own if he really wanted to, but the fact that Donald trusts him with his identity right away says a lot.

Also those tiny PK nephews are adorable. Get them their own little outfits STAT. At least for Halloween or something!

Look at him go!! I'm so proud of him, he's doing so well. Plus Uno in the background hitting that guy over the head with his little statue, I see you.

Well. That's embarrassing.

Go give your new boyfriend a smack on his bubble Donald, he worked hard too! He deserves one!

He says, as if he didn't JUST find out about any of this a few hours ago.

SQUARE LYLA JUMPSCARE

He thinks he's so cool. But alright, just this once, he's earned it.

Angus starts his career as professional slanderer. Nobody is happy about this.

And we end with Uno lying to Donald to make sure he gets a good nights sleep and doesn't get abducted by aliens. What a pal.

And that's our first issue! Really fun setup, we got to meet our main cast of characters, and square Lyla will not haunt me again after this issue so all's well that ends well. It's fun looking back and seeing PK still finding his footing with both his new friend, his new gear and his new enemies, especially when compared to later issues when he's gotten much more used to all three.

[sephirthoughts]

Hello! I would love to have your Tseng x Vincent headcanons for any of these! no pressure! Who falls for the other first or is it always mutual? Who makes the first move? How do they confess? Do they have any pet names for each other? Do they keep their relationship a secret? Thank you!! 💕

and i love any excuse to infodump my current hyperfixation so let's DO THIS

Q: Who falls for the other first or is it always mutual?

A: Tseng. It's Tseng. Vincent is canonically pretty oblivious and even without the high-context culture upbringing, and being naturally shy, he's also 57 years old and…severely traumatized is how i'd phrase it if i wanted to grossly understate the matter. he probably has a difficult time even relating to himself as a human being, let alone a sexual being, let ALONE someone who might be loved and deserving of love. Tseng is just…a lot less fucked up. not that he's normal, it's just hard to compete with Vincent in the totally shattered and clumsily glued back together psyche sense. also Tseng has a legend-worship thing about Vincent already and Vincent doesn't even know who Tseng is. in fact i bet Tseng had a little crush on him already that blooms into full on down-bad syndrome after they start interacting. not that anyone would ever know because it's Tseng. he's a cast iron refrigerator (except Reno can tell for some reason unexplainable by science).

Q: Who makes the first move?

A: knowing these two? no one. they just silently stare into the middle-distance once in a while which for them is tantamount to writing epic pining love poems. but for real it's probably something they mutually blunder into, after months of flirting (shooting at each other from long distances) and sexy banter (nodding silently at one another when they happen to meet in a non-hostile capacity).

tseng: vincent: tseng: vincent: reno: GET A FUCKING ROOM ALREADY

in order for anything to progress they'd have to a) be trapped somewhere in close proximity b) have access to a ton of liquor and c) one of them has to be injured to create an excuse for physical contact reno: i gotcha tseng: ow! why the hell did you shoot me! reno (shoving Tseng into the Shinra Manor basement and bolting the door): it's for your own good boss!! you'll thank me later! vincent (sits up in coffin): what are you doing in here? where did all this liquor come from? tseng: tseng: -passes out from blood loss- Q: How do they confess?

A: this is where their whole cool as a cucumber in an icebox stoic tough-guy act falls apart because they're both painfully awkward when they're not playing mr. badass in front of the kids. they'd probably kiss once, get all flustered and apologize profusely to each other, and then be too embarrassed to speak to one another for months. which would result in Reno and the other Turks engineering scenarios like the above so often that they pretty much start having regular dates in various basements and wine cellars and bunkers and vaults

Q: Do they have any pet names for each other?

vincent: No. tseng: No.

A: i guess not

Q: Do they keep their relationship a secret?

A: not intentionally but they're them. Tseng actually thinks he's been far too free in advertising it. he made eye contact with Vincent in the presence of other people three times this week like some kind of shameless whore

thank you for the asks this was so much fun!!! ❤️‍🩹🖤

[fushiglow]

if you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

When I'm hyperfixating on a special interest, I find it really hard to remember anything that previously held my attention lol — so I'm struggling to answer this question, anon! I'm not a huge shipper usually, and I'm incredibly unenthusiastic about ship wars so I generally don't get involved.

That said, there are tons of ships I like in Jujutsu Kaisen. SatoSugu and Megumi are pretty much all I post about on here, but I've gained a few followers recently so it's probably worth saying because I've seen a lot of ship discourse elsewhere in the fandom recently:

If you're reading this and you really hate any of the ships I mention in this post, feel free to unfollow if it's that big a deal to you.

I'm really not interested in arguing about ships — because it just isn't that deep, I have limited free time to give to fandom and I'd rather spend it on things I love — so please don't get into that with me. However, if it's not a big deal to you, great to have you around! ♥

So, Jujutsu Kaisen ships I like below the cut:

Obviously, SatoSugu* has really captured my imagination. I don't think I've ever shipped anything as hard as I ship those two, but I talk about them all the time so I won't go into any more detail.

Other than that, I like GojoHime which I know is blasphemy for a SatoSugu shipper (I'm kidding, there's a bunch of us who ship both) but I don't think one has to preclude the other (after all, Gojo has two hands 👀). I've written two canonverse fics for GojoHime, and I've gently implied a former romantic relationship between SatoSugu in both.

I think lots of people read too deeply into the "she hates him" thing. Is he a bit of a dick to her? Absolutely, but treating Utahime like she's just a victim of the terrible Gojo Satoru takes away from her character — because she gives as good as she gets! I adore the contradiction in how she presents herself as this prim and proper miko, but she's actually a little firecracker who loses her temper easily and throws things at people and drinks heavily. Don't take that away from her, it's what makes her fun!

To me, it's obvious that their dynamic is designed to provide comic relief, but they trust each other when it comes down to it. In fact, I'd argue their bickering is evidence of that — if you're a polite person, you don't bicker with people you're not comfortable with. More than that, I like how Utahime is set up as a bit of a foil to Gojo. It's been said before, but there's a poetry in her technique making the 'strongest' stronger, especially considering that he goes to this character he's historically called weak to ask for help in the biggest fight of his life. Delicious!

Beyond that, I casually enjoy a bunch of other JJK ships. I don't actively seek out or create content for them, but I enjoy some of the art and fic when I come across it. Namely:

SaShiSu, in any configuration. SatoShoko is appealing to me for reasons I touched on in response to a question about Gojo's relationship with Shoko. SuguShoko is hot, simply because I think both characters are hot and they look hot together lol. I can even get behind poly SaShiSu!

OkkoFushi, because of Megumi's ~one line~ about respecting his senpai. It's essentially a crack ship, but I have the silliest little headcanon that Gojo brought Megumi to meet the first years sometime during JJK 0 and Megumi developed his first crush — see this adorable art for reference.

ItaFushi, ItaJun, and YutaMaki because they're all harmless and adorable.

GojoKen, because I love the potential for toxic angst.

KenTen, because "goodbye, old friend" — I'm sorry, what??? 👀

ShokoHime and ChosoYuki because they're all sexy as hell.

NobaMai, because they have sizzling chemistry.

KiraKari and MechaMiwa, because they're both canon as far as I'm concerned.

ShiuToji, because they're "business partners" — sure, guys!!

NanaGo, purely for the cute single dads art.

SukuGo, but only in a non-canon setting. They should have been besties in canon though 😔

Finally, the controversial one. Sukuna can stay the hell away from Megumi in canon (🥲) but I quite like SukuFushi in a specific AU setting — especially if Yuji and Sukuna are brothers in it! I have a soft spot for the Itadori twins, and I'm into the idea of big bully Sukuna meeting his match in his brat of a brother's quiet best friend with the deceptively sharp tongue (and knuckles).

However, I personally find that a lot of people mischaracterise Megumi in his ships and take away the aspects of his character that I really love (come on, he beat people the hell up at school!) so I'm not super into Megumi ships in general, despite the fact that he's my best boy.

As you can see, I'm really not that fussy about ships. In the past, I've definitely read fic featuring a side pairing that I'm not super into, but it won't stop me reading a good fic if there's a pairing I don't like in it. Sometimes, if it's well-written, I might even end up a fan!

Outside of JJK, there really isn't much. I don't follow many other animanga, but I think AkiAngel is a gorgeous ship and EreMika is cute although a bit bland. I think that's it though... Sorry this wasn't really what you asked for, but thank you for the question! ♥

*I just use the popular ship name, but I don't have any strong preferences when it comes to sexual dynamics so the name order isn't important to me — that goes for all the ships I like!

[anulithots]

hello this was the ask i promised you when i sent in that reblog uh

FINISHED SEASON ONE (EPISODE TEN AND ELEVEN) SO NORMAL. SOSOSOSOSOOOO NORMAL.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GODSHFKDSJF. IS LU GUANG DEAD??? IS HE DIENE??? IS HE AN UNSATURATED HYDROCARBON WITH TWO DOUBLE BONDS BETWEEN CARBON ATOMS???? (dying i don't even like organic chem why am i making the stupidest dead-diene puns in existence) THAT WAS SO WILD. DID NOT SEE THIS HAPPENING IN A MILLION YEARS

CXS was so badass in these two episodes. that really took what we all thought of him in the first few episodes (shitty impulse control, can't see past the end of his nose) and flipped it on its head. god that was so cool. oh my god.

CXS's little speech!!!! it's so lovely!!!! oh my goodness!!!!!!! i did not know that there was a poet in him but we need more

already said this in the reblogs but qiao ling #1 shiguang shipper. and we love her for it. except for accidentally killing (?????? status of beinghood unsure ??????) lu guang ofc but it's not her fault we still love her

the fact about lu guang being weirdly mature for a kid — is that just some unexplored trauma or is he part primordial deity or something

this actually has nothing to do with episode ten or eleven but in episode five (?) where CXS just punched lu guang in the face. and he just took it with no resistance, then kneeled down and held him as he cried. heartbreaking. i realised i didn't say anything about that in my earlier fevered commentaries so i will now skfjdksjfkdjfkjf

KSFJKSJFKSJFKJFJKSDFJ

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

OGANIC CHEM REFERNCE THAT I WISH I GOT BUT I KINDA DO FROM AP BIOLOGY AND I NEED TO HYPERFIXATE ON BIOLOGY AGAIN LDKJFKLDJSFKSDFJKSDLF j (love science references when raving about shows it's my favorite thing)

ALSO YES OF COURSE LINK CLICK HAS TO FLIP EVERYTHING ON IT"S HEAD IN THE LAST MINUTE AND RUIN THE HAPPY ENDING /pos but also KJSDFLKLDSKFJDSLKFJ:DLSKFJLKSDFJ

CXS IS AMAZING ESPECIALLY IN THE LAST TWO EPS KDJFLKSDFJ

Like yesss his observance and ability to predict behavior and use that to his advantage akjfaksfjaksldfjaksldf.

My headcannon is that this is what happens when he gets time to process his emotions and trusts himself a little more (like after his 'alone dive' he tries to take his time more, but of course... emotions... they be hard and overwhelming and he's so adhd core holy herbs)

(Also when he has time to process his emtions he's always so serious, the poor bean.)

YES POET CXS

(I screenshotted the whole thing.)

(and it was at this point that I exploded/pos)

BUT ALSO THE SPEACH AND HOW IT WAS NOT ONLY PERFECT TO COMFORT EMMA, BUT ALSO REFELCTED HIS GROWTH AS A CHARACTER... which would require a whole essay to explain... I have it written tbh but I would need to transcribe it... EVENTUALLY I WILL BUT THE WAY CXS CRAVES A PERFECT PAST (meanwhile Lu Guang craves a perfect future) AND LEARNED ABOUT ASPECTS OF HIMSELF THROUGHT THE PARRALLELS OF THE OTHERS LKJDFLKJDSFKJDSKFJDSK I CNA"T THIS SHOW IS TOO GOOD.

(Mild spoiler for Qiao LIng but it's not her fault so that's all good! She's still peak character of all time)

about your 5th point... season two will both shed light on that and make you scream soooooo (it's all foreshadowing and it's crazyyyy)

THAT MOMENT IN EPISODE FIVE YESSS

It's so perfect and heartbreaking and perfect and heartbreaking and KJSDLFKJDSLKFJDKLSFDKSF SKDF aaaaaa

CXS completely breaks down and Lu Guang tries to be comforting in his typical 'fool don't change the past, but it's okay because we'll change the future and.....' AND WAIT A MINUTE past and future for both of them and what they find comfort in alkjflaksdjfklaj AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (my analyzig brain is having so much fun with link click kalsdfjkasldfj;askdfl)

THANK YOU FOR SCREAMING WITH ME ABOUT LINK CLICK!!!!

[the-down-upside-finch]

I was thinking about my characters recently and I got worried for a bit that one of my stoic characters wouldn't get mad at anything! Then I realized, "Nah, there are SOME select situations.." It was really fun!

SO! Pick a character of your choice (probably a more put-together character but it doesn't have to be!) and think about their Anger TM.

What would make them mad but would also be really funny and amusing to them?

What would send them into a wild rage? A tirade? Violence, if they're so inclined?

What would make them the kind of cold anger that would lead to months of plotting revenge?

What would make them "not mad, just disappointed"?

No pressure but I thought it'd be cool to pass the prompt around!

OH I LOVE THIS Thank you!!!

Because I've been hyperfixating on my new WIP as of late, I'm gonna do this for the main/more important characters in Feather Candles, which I'm going to put most of under a cut because I already know this is going to get very long haha

(Also I apologize for my awful formatting but this was just how my brain wanted these listed out)

Mad, but it's also funny:

Lark - This is an emotion specifically for when his sisters complain about his "bad habits," if they can be called that. "Can you please stop rolling up your sleeves? It's so obvious you're showing off." "I was actually just making sure I don't drag them through the food on the table but whatever." - Also whenever people ask why he's not courting anyone yet, he's just kind of like, "Hey I'm grieving the death of the person that was basically married to me. Can you leave me alone????" ~

Milo - If she accidentally trips on something/runs into something and someone says, "By the way, there's a chair right there," (or whatever it is), she will get mad, but she also has to laugh because it is kind of funny, despite it being at her own expense. There's more anger than amusement, but she'll still laugh a bit. ~

Peregrine - "You're way too young for/to be doing [X]!" Oh boy. This man is about to burst out laughing at your ignorance. The "anger" burning under his amusement is at the fact that someone is saying that without knowing just what he's been through. Sure, he's young—but he's had way too much life experience already. - This is also the emotion for when people tell him he's gonna die young because his magician's mark appeared when he was only six years old. He laughs with some bitterness because "Do you even know anything about how magic works?" But he's also a little peeved because he hates being reminded that yeah, this might actually be true. ~

El - This is his reaction to people making jokes about his lost memories. He knows it's a joke and can't help but laugh. He also is really stressed out that he can't remember who he was in service to or why he wields a sword. - This is also his reaction for people that poke fun at his body shape/build. He's just a tiny bit mad that someone would make a comment about his height/weight, but he laughs because he's well-aware that he could snap them in half like a twig.

Wild rage (and maybe violence):

Lark: - If someone dares to insult Brant's memory, that person is about to regret opening their mouth. (The duke of Halisin is probably not coming back to the dining hall any time soon, that's for sure.) - Likewise, if someone even hints at insulting either of his sisters, you can bet this man is about to break some bones. ~

Milo - She almost never reaches this point because if she ever reaches this level of emotion, she's more likely to get upset and start crying (and this is still extremely unlikely) than to feel true rage, but if you do something that betrays her trust, she'll start heading in the direction of screaming, "How could you do something like that?!" at you. ~

Peregrine - If someone hurts a person he cares about, you better believe he's slamming his tome as hard as he can against that someone's face. This is basically the only thing that will get him to snap because "Violence begets violence" or whatever, but he's actually got pretty good restraint when it comes to violence. Like, this man could easily just magically explode someone with lightning, but he'll choose to hit you with his tome. - His anger for not realizing something "obvious" (hindsight is 20/20 vibes) also falls into this category. Even if he's the first to make the realization, he'll still fly off the handle at the fact that he didn't figure it out sooner. Not in a physically violent way, but this is basically the only other time you'll hear him yelling and see actual rage in his eyes. ~

El - Do not hurt this man's friends. He will challenge you to a fight that you will not emerge from unscathed. - Do not insult this man's values. He will challenge you to a duel that you will not win.

Cold anger (with potential revenge):

Lark - This is how he feels in regard to that assassin that killed Brant. Dark, cold anger that will not leave him until he's avenged his friend—at whatever cost. ~

Milo - Someone insulting her abilities on the basis of something completely unrelated (like her sight). She won't necessarily plot revenge, but she might not speak to you again until you thoroughly apologize. ~

Peregrine - Nothing you do to him personally will get this man to feel this way. But if you do something to someone he cares about, you can bet that he's got a list in his mind of your personal weakness that he can exploit when it will hurt most. (But whether or not he's actually able to carry out revenge is a different story. His heart is too gentle for that sort of thing.) ~

El - Cold/lingering anger just isn't really his style. He'd rather get things off his chest so it's not bothering him—and maybe just have a fight to settle whatever it is that he's mad about.

Not mad, just disappointed:

Lark - Oh my sweet summer child. This poor broken boy. (I mean he's like twenty-eight years old but REGARDLESS) This is the "anger" he carries for himself, and himself alone. Everything that happened is all his fault, and he should have prevented all the bad things. (He fully believes that he's the reason that Brant died and that he could have saved him somehow.) - Also (we're not gonna get deep into this but) he's got this mentality that he's a disappointment to the queendom for being born a son to a queen. He does all the boring/useless tasks that his sisters don't have time for, and he's basically given free rein at all times to just leave the castle and wander around. (Seriously, how else is he supposed to feel after realizing that there was an assassin after him but they didn't increase reinforcements??) Like, he's not mad he was born in his situation, and maybe not even quite disappointed, but it's basically that. ~

Milo - Really stupid mistakes (especially where people got hurt) that could have been easily avoided. She's a tactician. Most of this disappointment is directed at herself. ~

Peregrine - Kind of odd(?), but this is kind of his attitude about threats and/or violence. Like, if there's a situation where someone is engaging in unwarranted violence (towards himself or someone else), he'll just sadly shake his head at them. "Are you trying to provoke me into fighting back? I could kill you with a simple wave of my hand, but you know I won't, so you're taking advantage of that. It's a bit pathetic, don't you think?" (No, this isn't in the "I'm trying to get under your skin" voice, this is the "I truly believe you are a good person and are capable of being better" voice.) ~

El - This is how he feels about Peregrine's unwillingness to "stand up for himself" (because what else are you supposed to call it when a man barely reacts to slurs being yelled at him???), as well as verbal violence in general. He finds it disappointing when people talk big and only talk big. If they can't even fistfight for what they're getting so worked up about, then why are they getting worked up about it? (Don't worry about El, he's fine.)

OKAY YEAH THAT WAS A LOT But that was fun! Thank you for this prompt, I enjoyed it a lot!

Also I'mma tag @my-cursed-prince because hey friendo wanna see some goofy character stuff???

[napkinzilla]

Godzilla vs. Megalon 50th Anniversary and the Origin of Jaguarposting

I started this account in November when my Godzilla hyperfixation was in full force thanks to a series rewatch I was doing and G-Fest. A lot of that hyperfixation was focused on Anguirus, Baragon, and Jet Jaguar.

I don’t exactly think they’re great characters or anything, I just kind of gravitated towards them for some reason. I know why for all of them, Anguirus having an off-screen reconciliation with Godzilla while forced to live together on Monster Island was actually sort of neat, I don’t like that we never get to see it and are forced to just assume it happened but its also nice to see something interesting and new, especially since this was at a point where the Showa era just kind of felt like it had grown entirely creatively bankrupt (The last truly creative Showa film is Hedorah, ik its a polarizing movie and I think that actually kind of proves my point a little). For Baragon, its that I just found it funny how they paired him with two far more popular monsters for this movie and then had him get his shit wrecked really quickly (he also has the most creative fight in the movie but I’m pretty sure I just liked him cause he’s a jobber). And for Jet Jaguar, its sort of hard to say. I know most of the western fanbase for the character likes him because of MST3K, but I never watched the GvM episode (except the Jet Jaguar song sub but that was after the hyperfixation kicked in).

The only reason I can think of is that he’s just funny to me. He’s basically the star character of this movie he isn’t in the title of and his plot just goes all over the place. He starts the movie as the invention of an engineer who wants to protect the world by piloting a robotic suit (which, considering there is an island full of monsters that is so poorly secured they could just leave anytime they wanted if they can swim or fly (almost all of them can), which they did in the last movie, its understandable why he’d do this). And by the end the suit has gained full sentience, befriended Godzilla, and defeated a bunch of underground men who control a giant bug with a drill head and drill hands. There isn’t that much explanation for most of these things either, they just sort of happen suddenly. Godzilla vs. Megalon is a terrible, terrible movie, and Jet Jaguar is the central character. Godzilla vs. Megalon is also an immensely enjoyable movie that I have subjected multiple people to so that I could see their reactions. I love it, its so fun, and Jet Jaguar is a big part of why the movie is so fun. He’s so fucking silly and stupid, I love him.

I said its hard to say why I like Jet Jaguar as much as I do, but its not impossible, in fact I basically just did. This overly long post has been mostly me saying why I like Jet Jaguar. But I haven’t really talked about Jaguarposting. Why the fuck do I post this guy? Because he’s funny to me, I made Baragon my Discord pfp for a while because he’s funny to me to. Its not super complicated, I am a very simple man. I main Blanka and Faust because they’re goofy guys, and in the same vein, I fixate on Jet Jaguar because he’s a goofy guy. The legacy of Godzilla vs. Megalon is that its a stupid fucking movie. Jaguarposting is a celebration of that movie’s stupidity, the idea that a post is funny solely because it features a character from the film.

I didn’t realize March 17th was Megalon’s birthday, I didn’t see any posts about it on the day and didn’t have the date committed to memory. So this post is late. But I still want to wish GvM a happy 50th. Maybe go watch it in it’s honor and hopefully see what I’ve been rambling on about for this long.

If you don’t know what Jaguarposting is, don’t worry, I’ve only ever used the term once and made like 5 posts in the genre across all social media. However its my first post on Tumblr, so I felt it was about time to explain myself.

[marinecorvid]

Hey corvid, how open are you to Ranger head cannons? DO you have any yourself?

I am ABSOLUTELY open to headcanons and i have sososo many. here are some of them, typed out haphazardly and not quite fully formed but are the basis by what lens i see GS through

OKAY so this is turned out to be. long. and some a lot the vast majority of these headcanons are way more in depth/personal than other generally applicable hc stuff so yknow look upon my works ye mighty and despair, etc etc. ended up [redacting] some stuff, partly because i'm not ready to share in the state it's currently in in my head, and sometimes because i am still figuring stuff out sorry this is probably way more than what you were looking for but brain cells go out the door when i think about GS.

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coolio FIRST UP. MY KIDS

Summer Serrano: A sensitive, romantic, and compassionate person at heart, but with a sharp chip on her shoulder from a rough early life, Summer enables the "offense is the best defense" strategy personality-wise, causing her to often be perceived as much more aloof/prickly than she usually actually is. Clever, creative, insightful. Observant. Open to new experiences and learning. Quiet. Quietly snarky. Easy to irritate. Has a deeply skewed sense of danger/self preservation due to a depression/trauma combo; operates by a "go hard or go home" mindset (part of an in-universe explanation for why, when faced with Mewtwo not once but TWICE, she didn't back down. The other part was "flight" in fight or flight wasn't an option here, it was do or die).

Fun facts: Is a polyglot - speaks the Orre dialect of Paldé (Poke-Spanish - considering that Orre is based on Arizona and how close that is to Mexico, I'm headcanoning there's a lot of cultural influence), Galaic (Poke-English), is picking up Almian, picked up Oblivian in Oblivia, and can stumble her way through a conversation in Kalaic/Fiori (French/Italian, based on the fact that they're both romantic languages like Spanish, there's enough similarity she can kinda get the gist), and Ben's taught her a few words in Kantese; considers Paldé her native tongue, is much more talkative in it than Galaic, in which she's fairly quiet. Has a hyperthymestic/eidetic memory, IE she can remember most things vividly almost to the point of exactly. Drinks black coffee, sometimes brews it with Red Bull instead of water when she's hyperfixated on something and is regarding sleep as a choice, not a necessity. Calls Ben a variety of nicknames (Benjamin, Benji, Benvolio) when she wants something (his attention, just to bother him); he tolerates this with grace. Has a height of a exactly five foot zero and is deeply disgruntled about it. Isn't a very material person but likes to collect little knickknacks and trinkets from where she and Ben visit/go on missions.

Backstory: Okay full disclosure I've been reworking her mental backstory a lot in my head, so there's gonna be some very vague/blank spots. Born n raised in Pyrite Town, Orre in a not great neighborhood but not the worst. Parents are out of the picture, I think lived with an aunt/distant relative/foster parent? that ended up wrangling a bunch of kids that pretty much meant Summer grew up kinda doing whatever the hell she wanted, the kind of young ne'er-do-well who would make a game out of throwing rocks through the window panes of the old abandoned factories because there's nothing better to do. Ran with most of the other local kids because that's what you did (safety in numbers. You don't want to get caught alone, especially after dark. That's how people disappear).

Except uhh maybe early-mid teens?? The local Colosseum itself is old as shit, hasn't had maintenance in a while, part of it collapses midmatch into the Under, triggering a bunch of landslides and cave-ins due to the unstable land from all the mining that was done in the past. Summer gets caught in one of these, gets stuck for a few days, experiences the worst 72 hours of her life, eventually gets pulled out by an emergency response team (now that I'm writing it out, maybe by some Rangers that offered Orre assistance??? food for thought). Spends a few days shuffled around at an overworked hospital/clinic. Because she managed to get out without any broken bones and only a mild concussion, they push her out the doors to focus on worse patients. Doesn't go home, kinda wanders the city in a daze thinking "what the fuck. what the fuck. fuck this place." wandering takes her to a some kind of high place where she can look over the city and all the emergency crews and smoke and thinks "is this really it? is this gonna be my life? stuck in a dusty city where the streets are collapsing and everything's always broken and constantly looking over my shoulder?" (because even though her neighborhood was once alright, things have been getting worse) and then thinks "fuck that. fuck that so much"

and maybe like… in a few days? wanders back home, grabs a backpack, takes as many snacks and scrounges as many dollars as she can from home, hikes herself out to the nearest tracks, and hops a cargo train out of Orre up the Western Coast. (In my mental map of this corner of the Pokemon world, passes through some unnamed regions and into Paldea.) Scrounges up enough currency to catch a ferry to Almia? and … sometime … she gets involved in the Ranger Union, huzzah. maybe a Ranger that pulled her out of the rubble got her thinking about the Ranger Union? it makes an impression? very haphazard. I'm working on it

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Ben Yuuko: If you'd ask your average Almian citizen to describe your average Ranger, 1 out of 3 would describe an archetype resembling Ben. Earnest, honest, easily trusting, fun-loving, with misplaced confidence to walk out of dangerous situations unscathed, Ben is the "possess social smarts - doesn't always use them" to Summer's "has street smarts - doesn't always use them." Similar to Summer, a deeply compassionate person. Prone to mild teasing. Had a relatively easy adolescence, somewhat naive - struggles DEEPLY during the events of GS, as a lot of rose-tinted lenses are being shattered, as he's now dealing with a traumatic happenings himself that he's only "experienced" second-hand through the people around him (Summer, former foster siblings in worse situations); dealing with how people will have seemingly irrational thoughts + actions that seem perfectly justified in the moment, why even the people you care for lash out at you, that people who seem villainous are still deeply human and rarely pure evil. Deals with some pretty bad anxiety.

Fun facts: Speaks Kantese and Galaic, kinda picks up Oblivian, Summer's taught him a little Paldé. Is a pretty decent cook! Can make some good food with minimal ingredients; it causes him physical pain to watch Summer dip pickle slices in Nutella like chips and hummus. Considers his most valuable possession to be a pair of 90s moon shoes. Takes dance classes for fun when not on duty. Calls Summer a variety of nicknames (Sunshine, Summertime Sadness) for fun; she is grumpy about it. Uses Summer's shoulder as an armrest when he thinks he can get away with it without being elbowed in the ribs.

Backstory: Born and raised in Johto, I'm thinking Olivine City. In contrast to Summer's chaotic home life, Ben was fostered with caring adults and a handful of younger kids, both biological children of his foster parents and other foster children that cycled through. However, though he deeply appreciates what they've done for him, and that he's rationally aware he was raised in a VERY good foster environment, he never really connected to them as parents. (He does keep regularly in touch with a few of the foster kids he helped wrangle though.) (Also sorry Ben. you don't have very detailed info in comparison to summer rn)

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Ben and Summer: Besties, partners, ride or die for each other. Queerplatonic relationship, in the sense that they're both queer and not romantically involved (though there was brief 5-second period of Summer accidentally concussing Ben and him thinking he was in love with her) but by the time GS has finished with canon events they pretty much always consider each other when thinking about what they want to do in life

The first time they met after spending a day together (under undetermined circumstances but shenanigans were probably involved), Summer (grew up in a dangerous place) looked at Ben and thought "this is the most harmless guy on earth. Jesus Christ he's gonna get eaten alive at the first sign of actual trouble" and decided protecting him would be her #1 priority from that point on. Ben (grew up being an armchair therapist to foster kids more troubled than he) looked at Summer and thought "she is so scared and so dysfunctional even in a safe environment :(" and decided he was going to be her best friend from then on.

Of course by living together and working together their perceptions of each other have evolved. Ben deeply admires her competency in the field (despite her unorthodox methods, usually lacking in self preservation) and by the time GS comes around, is looking to her blasé attitude towards danger as something to imitate, which is what leads to Ben kinda mouthing off to Red Eyes the first time they meet, which isn't really authentic Ben behavior; he gets better as the game's canon events continue and he realizes Summer's seemingly natural confidence is a carefully maintained mask that she keeps to prevent anyone from seeing how scared and nervous she actually, and to keep herself from breaking down from all the stress and anxiety she's under. Though Oblivia is a shit time for them in many ways and leaves them with many issues, it also deepens their understanding of each other and are far more open emotionally, and lays the groundwork for future growth.

on a less serious note

Them that's Them

Since you need to be at a certain rank to fly on Staraptor, I'm going to say they're actually pretty good Rangers in their own right before Oblivia

Oblivia is their first overseas missions, and Hastings specifically wanted them to have a mentor in Rand, who's an experienced Ranger and could help iron out some issues that were forming (worried they were getting too codependent w each other. ironically they just ended up with horrible separation anxiety); their modus operandi is that Ben talks more with people, and Summer does more of the heavy lifting

during Oblivia they picked up the habit of sleeping in the same bed; they don't feel safe not being able to reach out and feel the other nearby

Ukulele Pichu is technically Summer's partner Pokemon but they're equally attached to the little guy and vice versa. He likes to hang out in the hoods of their jackets when it's chilly

The first time Summer ever experienced a real winter, Ben stuffed snow down the back of her coat within 5 minutes. Summer retaliated by dumping a bucket of it on him while he slept that night

Ben would say one of the greatest challenges he faces in his life is getting Summer to stay in bed when she's sick

Summer is a chronic clothes stealer; Ben starts buying two of everything when they start sharing a dorm in the Union

In the years following Shadows of Almia and the very public dissolution of Altru/Team Dim Sun, there's been a surge in Ranger applicants and Union leaders are frantically trying to figure out where to house so many people; usually the people who get the best academic scores are stationed at the Union building directly, but lots of runner ups ended up being temporarily housed there while other accommodations are being developed. However, upon realizing that Ben and Summer are both more capable beyond their number scores, they were reassigned to the Union building.

General Ranger headcanon is that to prevent mental and physical burnout, all Rangers are required to take either staggered breaks or one big chunk of a break/vacation time throughout the year

Summer and Ben usually spend theirs in an apartment in dockside Puel Town (not allowed to live in Union building during mandatory break, as it might encourage one to act on duty even when they're supposed to be resting), but post GS incorporate Oblivia into their break time; Rand and Leanne more or less consider them their own kids and are always happy to house them

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OBLIVIA REGION + MYTHOLOGY:

Okay so you know how in canon Booker is Hastings' brother? The only reason Oblivia (who as a reason at one point definitely was under threat from some kind of occupation, so some older folks are pretty wary of outsiders) is so tolerant of Rangers coming in and solving shit is because whatever governance the runs the place collectively sees Rangers as "Oh those are some of Hastings' kids, yeah they're alright" (because Hastings helped found the Ranger Union, etc etc, and he's pretty smart and wants to keep Oblivia left alone as possible so if he trusts these people, so will we). I know in canon they're pretty. Well. Oblivious to all the shit that's going on but not so in the sandbox of my canon, in that the local folk are pretty hostile towards Pinchers and have their own grassroots force also working to keep an eye out and fend them off when Rangers are in a different part of the region.

Oblivia is also a lot bigger than the main islands we see! The reason we don't get to go to other islands is because they're by and large uninhabited: by not being able to support human life, because Pokemon have made their home there, or because they're forbidden on accounts of being cursed ground. Which is also why Purple Eyes needed Leanne to discern Zapdos' location, because it could've also theoretically been on any other treacherous mountain island (and also to translate a lot of other stuff he was having trouble with)

Misc. headcanon: a lot of people assume because Rand is the breadwinner man of the house that he's like the head of household, however 1) both he and Leanne would argue they are equals in this marriage and family, neither of them outrank each other, and 2) Leanne is head of the household. it is not acknowledged and she herself denies it with an fondly exasperated eyeroll but everyone else living there knows she is Mom, Terrible And Mighty and all decisions are run by her first

Misc Headcanon #2: Rand is a very good baker, and because I feel bad he doesn't have a partner Pokemon of his own I say he has a Mightyena named Lucky! he walks with Nema to and from school. Post game, Leanne gets a therapy/emotional support Espeon

Nema's somewhere on the autism spectrum. Sometimes goes nonverbal when she gets overwhelmed, but instead of learning sign language communicates with a pseudo-Morse code, using a combination of already existing codes and some ones they made up; Ben and Summer get pretty good at it and Summer starts using it frequently too

Suicune is the most no-nonsense of the legendary beasts, mostly because the Sky Fortress is hidden on their island and therefore they're the one who's working hardest to keep it hidden. Entei is like an old cat/dog, a little lazy, prefers a calm environment, sometimes casuallly shows up when Rand's grilling food outside, flops on the ground, and doesn't leave until they get thrown a steak or something. Raikou is like the little brother of the bunch, they're very active and like to run, nosy, always smells when Summer has treats with her.

Following the defeat of Sabios and the Sky Fortress in ancient times, Oblivia's Golden Age came to a close. The royal line thought to be ended, as Sabios fled the region in disgrace and Ravio sired no known heirs, and the ancient Oblivians were so desperate to bury the Sky Fortress, that if they couldn't destroy it or the Golden Armor the least they could do was to destroy everything else pertaining to it, burn any paper holding knowledge of it, seal the living batteries for it (titans of the sky) to the highest peaks, strike every wall naming it except for one they erected in dire warning in the hopes that should anyone be fool enough to stumble across it they would be persuaded against unearthing anything else. And so history became legend, legend became myth, and for a thousand years all knowledge of the Sky Fortress, the Golden Armor, and Ancient Oblivia passed out of almost all knowledge, even to modern Oblivians - until some guy calling himself Amun had to come dig it all up, realize his folly too late and try to bury it again, but by that time the Societea had already caught wind of it, and you know what happens next.

Summer didn't fall directly into the ocean from that height like in canon, once Ben realized what happened, he flew down after her and managed to grab her, slowing her down enough so that that fall distance would be survivable. Unfortunately for them, Red Eyes brought his Charizard to the party, Ben got grabbed, and Summer still falls. (She also isn't nearly as conscious as in canon when she hits the water, she's barely manages to get her rebreather on before her vision goes dark, and only sees the underwater Rainbow Dais in a very feverish state.)

The Celebi that transports you to and from the past is running the longcon. Bringing Summer back in time to inspire Ravio to become the ancient hero with Summer's stories of the ancient hero, while Summer is inspired by stories of the ancient hero to act as the next guardian of Oblivia. It has lived on this islands since before any other Pokemon or humans settled there, and the extent of its knowledge and motives are inscrutable to literally everybody. Post-GS Celebi wouldn't take a distressed Summer back in time to stop the sky fortress from rising in the first place because that would mess up the time loop it's got going on. The time loop is also why all the legendary Pokemon trust her so much immediately after meeting her and give her their sigils; they remember her from the old past

Before Ho Oh (and eventually the legendary beasts) was the main religious focus in Oblivia, many many years ago, Arceus was worshiped. However, due to [SEE BELOW], Arceus stepped to the side and allowed a spiritual leader in ancient times to take the mantle of Guardian of the Sky, being reborn as the first Ho Oh in recorded history upon her death. In a similar fashion, the legendary beasts, titans of the sky, and Guardian of the Sea all were once human in their first life, but bear only memories and not the emotions attached as their time as timeless guardians.

Alola was not the first region Ultra Necrozma terrorized in its desperation for light; after being nearly wrent asunder by an priestess blessed with the power to bend light, it fled down the equator, finally coming to Alola. A portion of Necrozma's light body settled upon the span of the Oblivia region, becoming the origin for a power that eventually fueled the creation of the Steelhead Armor, the Golden Armor, and the Sky Fortress.

I also know I've mentioned this before but Lugia absolutely is involved in storming the sky fortress. Ho Oh is too old and weakened to fight off the titans of the sky by herself so Lugia has to get involved and knock the shit out of em before Ho Oh can neutralize it enough that summer and ben can get in there. They're also the one who drags Summer onto the shore of Dolce Island instead of getting waterlogged when she gets knocked into the sea (headcanon made entirely by the fact that during the title screen, you can see lugia's silhouette in the background. and also my belief that lugia is one of the coolest pokemon ever and deserves screentime all the time)

Post-past missions and after the Sky Fortress is sealed away for the first time, Ravio summons Arceus to try to apologize for the sins of his father, who bound it to his will with the Golden Armor. It didn't end well.

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VILLAINS:

Red Eyes AKA Reid O'Sullivan: also born n raised in Pyrite, like Summer. (totally wild coincidence there. that won't affect anything at all) Grew up SUPER admiring the Colosseum battlers, got a Torchic from uhh somewhere? Anyways it's the Blaziken you see in the post-game. He was really looking forward to starting a mentorship kinda thing with a battler who had a habit of taking youngins under his belt, you know to keep them from getting into crime and whatnot. Unfortunately for everyone involved, said battler died when Pyrite's Colosseum collapsed midmatch, Red Eyes barely made it out as mid-teen, and lost some friends of his own in the fall.

Feeling distinctly fucked over, got into some worse circles, got a reputation for being a tough guy who's half-competent with good battle instincts, gets involving in a poaching ring. Eventually gets to be the de-facto leader of that poaching ring as a young adult. Eventually approached with an offer to expand, combine with another poaching ring or two by a backer who'd be willing to invest and whatnot. Red Eyes, generally a proud guy and flattered, goes "SURE" (he will later regret this) and actually takes on the moniker of Red Eyes because if he's gonna do bigger stuff he doesn't want to be throwing his legal name around.

And uh I'll be honest with you - by the time GS rolls around, he's not having a good time with the unified Pinchers. He hates his boss. His boss's bosses, whom he only barely knows about, are getting them involved in some Weird Ass Shit, like looking for wall carvings instead of poaching. He doesn't fucking like it, but because confusion and unsurety is weakness, he does not show any of this. He's actually at the end of his rope when Summer and Ben roll up, and is so stressed out that he falls for like, a basic level taunt from Ben and tries to shoot him out of the sky. Summer, of course, takes the hit, falls into the ocean, they drag Ben back to the sub so he can't cause any trouble for them. He stares at the wall in his room. He might've just killed a Ranger, and that's, uh, a potentially serious murder charge. Shit. Good thing's she's not actually dead! Somehow! and totally not someone he recognizes. at all. And then proceeds to have a somehow worse time as Summer just. keeps. beating him

Blue Eyes AKA Blaire Park: Uhh not sure if born but definitely grew up in Gateon Port, learned about boats n shit, why she's the one in charge on the submarine. I'm not sure exactly what she was doing before the Pinchers, but she was doing something that was going fine! right up until she, flattered in some way, goes "SURE" (she will later regret this) and actually takes on the moniker of Blue Eyes because if she's gonna do bigger stuff she doesn't want to be throwing her legal name around.

But by the time GS rolls around, Blue Eyes, like Red Eyes, wants Fucking Out. She, like Red Eyes, is stressed to hell, and from the time Summer shows up in Amun's mansion to accidentally getting trapped in an underwater cave, shit's a conga line of failure and embarrassment. She was not, perhaps, in the best state of mind when she decided to Plan Z the submarine. (Getting fired by Purple Eyes in the moment was not a fun thing, but she did realize she got away mostly scot-free, so she got what she wanted in a way.)

And that's how those two become friends/coworkers-with-benefits-who-sometimes-antagonize-each-other-for-environmental-enrichment, and also they bond over and complain about their asshole sadist of a boss, but not where he can hear, because he's an asshole sadist and they don't want to piss him off and invite him to be a sadist in their direction.

Fun facts: Red Eyes probably would probably stream playing Dark Souls IRL and despite being p good at it would get stuck on one boss for hours and Blue Eyes would be his maybe roommate maybe something else, who knows, who would intervene before he gets mad enough to break the controller and beat it in maybe. 3 tries just so he can continue in the game. chat goes nuts for Blue Eyes

Post-game when Blue Eyes hangs up the ol control gauntlet and decides to try to live a mostly respectable life, she ends up reading a lot and eventually decides to try and write her own :)

and Red Eyes eventually turns out to be a pretty good exhibition battler (kinda like wrestling matches, predetermined but still showy and intense)

Red Eyes likes spicy food. Unfortunately for him he is not good at making food. He's not allowed to use the submarine stovetop anymore

Blue Eyes is transfemme (look at her uniform colors! baby you are not subtle and i love you for it), and because I'm choosing to believe the Pokeworld is the better timeline in which HRT something you can get like over the counter, she's been living her best life

POST-POSTING EDIT: blue eyes had a tentative truce with red eyes pre-pincher unification with whatever gangs they were running, i don't think hers was a poaching group though - maybe something about resources? - she developed those skills as a leader post-unification; they kinda became more equals when the societea n purple eyes made them an actual group

And also they both have a crush on Summer because Red Eyes is the kind of guy to be "I like the kind of woman that can kick my ass" even if he's a sore loser abt it lmao and also [REDACTED]. but he takes a few levels in kindness postgame so he holds out hope. and Summer's saved Blue Eyes several times so there's some complicated feelings there. But also Summer is very pretty and very nice and considerate when she's not a stressed out Ranger on duty. so.

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Purple Eyes AKA [REDACTED]: This guy. One of my favorites of all time. He's hilarious. Drama queen. Utterly self serving. Charismatic enough to know how to function like a normal person most of the time, he just… doesn't care to unless he's trying to get something he can't get with force. How did he get to this point

Because canon is my sandbox, I say: I don't think Purple Eyes went into this whole venture /wanting/ to do the whole "rule the world through fear" thing. I think that's a combo of 1) truly horrendous mental health 2) spite, based on a couple of different slights against him 3) Oblivia Ruins are cursed, haunted to hell and back, and definitely fucked with his perception of the world + himself + what he wants after spending so long trying to decipher the place, and just… never recovered. not that he had a lot chances we see in canon, since so much happens So Fast and bonus wifi missions are wobbly hand motion on the timeline, but for however long he lives after GS he's just. so fucked over in the head. him metaphorically kicking the dog by usurping Ed was mostly entirely due to absolute spite at being kicked at Mt Layuda. he didn't have a plan for ruling the world he just wanted to get payback against Ed and his least favorite Rangers in existence while he was at it

IDK MAN I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. CONCEPTS. IT'S ALL IN A ROUGH STATE RN THO. just scrapped a whole 2 paragraphs bc i didn't vibe with it. so i'm not gonna say any more on this particular subject.

sorry my guy you're not the star of this very lengthy answer. ANYWAYS i'm torn between my desire to humanize all villains i deal with (because he's still very much a standard cartoon villain) VS desire to just see that guy go from 0 to 90 right from adolescence. stay tuned

HOWEVER he's definitely Sabios' descendant (from the past missions) and that's why the Golden Armor responded to him over Ed at the Sky Fortress. proof: share musical leitmotif, purple theme, evil second-in-commands, on the sky fortress he says something like "i did some research and learned something about the golden armor" which is never really expanded on so i think the implication was that the golden armor would choose him bc it remembers old blood

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SOCIETEA: I am gonna to limit this to Ed because he's the one I care to humanize the most and this whole thing started with him getting an idea. Altered character motivations and interpretations abound.

he hangs around a lot more with Summer n Ben than in canon, both because he's trying to get a feel for their progress, if they're a genuine threat to the Pinchers' progress, and also because they're not bad kids and he does want them to feel reassured that there are Adult adults in their corner. as untrue as it may be.

he's especially fond of Summer, he's definitely doing some grandfatherly projection. she reminds him of himself at a young age: restless, far more clever than she's allowed to be (for differing reasons), having experienced loss due to war (her parents; he lost an uncle and niece who followed in his footsteps as field medic), they both feel more jaded compared to their peers

you know how there's like fanon that there was a war before the games? like before of LT Surge's dialogue? there were a few wars. scattered across like a century or so, Pokeworld was in real bad shape

Ed's parents were rich Galaic folk, you know like old parliament lords that their families still hold places in the govt. and still have lots of old money? yeah he's from that kind of family. his father was an old military man turned politician. wanted ed to follow in his footsteps, ed wanted to go into medicine, they found an unwilling compromise when war broke out and he became a young field medic

eventually war he was involved in ends. father eventually dies. has the freedom to be a kleptomaniac to his heart's content across the world with his friends; focused on high profile art pieces, artifacts, expensive rare limited editions. tensions between regions erupt again, more war, acts as a philanthropist with money to help vets n whatnot. still socially runs in the old circles of politicians and whomever, isn't involved too much though

i'm getting tired so i'm gonna simplify the shit out of this and maybe come back to this later but basically: he and the rest of the gang have been doing some international-conspiracy shit for a decade or so and basically want to do the "last war to end all wars" kind of thing (because. i mean. regional tensions ARE picking up again at this point. nothing solid so far but things aren't are great as they could be) with no conflicting leaders so no more mass violence. except for these potential acts of mass violence. and the half sentient golden armor of course Does Not help with that thought process and is what leads to the destruction of Dolce Island

still definitely wants immortal life tho. war will fuck up your sense of life and death he's definitely got some problems that've been marinating for the past however-many years

he was never really liked purple eyes but was willing to employ him because he was efficient and finding half decent archaeologists who are willing to work for your evil schemes are rare in circles of villainy. but between him no longer really needing him once zapdos was located, disapproval of him kidnapping leanne and claiming he figured it out on his own, and disdain of him kidnapping leanne and nema (ed's not an evil evil guy and didn't have anything personal against rand & family), Ed was all too happy to kick him to the curb

[spotsupstuff]

i'm glad you enjoyed brandon F

little note about the uniform thing, the reason why he drags on a bit on that is cause he's a reenactor, 18th century uniforms are his insane obsession. he even jokes about it in the video i sent, saying "i'm finally back to my insufferable self!" when talking about the muskets

i don't blame him tbh, after watching his content for a while i had the realization that 18th century isn't like the romans, whose equipment we deduce through archeology, old sources and guess work.

like, the actual documents that standardized 18th century uniforms still exist and are not hard to access, i realized that after Brandon noted that his source was the fucking British Royal Library in London. ( i mean ffs there's literally photos of Napoleonic era vets heres a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npSru7xEzX8)

and i honestly think its relevant, because if a million dollar historical production didn't want to put in the effort to go to a library and get the official documents. then what else they weren't bothered to get right?

but Brandon doesn't just do historical reviews he also talks a lot about the history in general. like, why fight in lines? what were marines in the 18th century? the history of tactics. and what role did cavalry play in line warfare? for example

heavens bless people of utube that manage to get hyperfixated on one topic for basically their entire life and then proceed to make stuff about it for us to watch, right? it's a delight to listen to someone who actually enjoys the subject and their subject therefore basically guarantees the authencity of what they put out

oooh but yes, the concept itself of what we actually get to know about things in what manner is fascinating in on itself. so since i was small i had been very fascinated by chinese mythology and mythology somewhat comes along with other parts of the culture and so on. and you know how the chinese culture is one of the oldest in the world?

as a result i've somewhat grown accustomed to the numbers that are typical to the span of chinese history and now whenever i go look into the history of my own country i'm actually stumped over how recently certain things happened! then again you wouldn't believe how oppressed or manipulated slovaks had been across history. ain't that right -glares at hungary-

to what extent we know which culture's history is so wild. the ability for certain historical things to simply last is absolutely incredible (such as military uniform documents or musical pieces of 18th century). fun fact! there's still messages written in stone by the soldiers of the roman empire on slovakia's territory. right near Danube, i think, p sure i visited that

thank fuck for reliable sourcing and also thank u for that vid that's gon come in handy for clothing references at Some point, i can feel it

and you are absolutely correct, yes! it Is relevant! as mister Brandon has said, there's of course a certain leeway allowed when it comes to more kid oriented stuff, but i'll admit! i was surprised to learn that serious historical productions apparently put less effort into these kind of things than the sea beast did (i don't usually watch those kind of things, i'm very fantasy/sci-fi and cartoon focused)

this kind of muddling of history that may seem "insignificant" to money grabbing bastards really screws up the perception of the eras for people who don't really have the time or the drive to look into things themselves. it's annoying

oh while we are on this history stuff, i saw this originally in utube shorts, but Apparently they are making a netflix movie or smth about Cleopatra and they made her black?? which is weird, considering that Cleopatra was greek and all that stuff. like don't get me wrong, yes give silenced/less known cultures like black folk more space to present themselves and who they are but like don't do it in a way that heavily skews the history? why are you going out of your way to create misinformation that could heavily impact understanding of history by taking out an already famous (not poc) person instead of Actually making the space for historically important black people. like maybe why not make a movie about that one super rich king from the southwestern coast of Africa (i think) that crashed the egyptian economy twice by being just too damn generous. that would be SO much more helpful to black peeps' history than shoving a black person into the place of a white one

i swear films nowadays either lack soul, heart, spine or brain like 98% of time

[spiegelgestalt]

It's all about the outside perspective or why did Drake make the heart part 6?

So we all agree that from all the songs Drake released during his beef with Kendrick the heart part 6 was reeaally embarassing. It's full of obvious lies or really weird defences. For example the "prove" for K Dot's broken family is Dave Free liking a post from Whitney Alford on instagram -> that is just embarrassing. BUT after hyperfixating for a while I now understand the function of this track: it's not for the people who were following the beef - it's for the media. Let me explain:

So I'm from germany and i was interested how/if this beef made any splash in my country.

Some news sites/newspapers indeed reported on it. There were some podcasters and let me tell you one take was more rancid and uninformed than the next.

I already noticed that in the english media landscape there was some weird revisionist history going on: taylor made freestyle was often ignored (you know the track were Drake makes fun of 2pac and tells K-dot to say "Drake likes young girls"). This is evidence that K. didn't invent the pdf-file allegations. they were so prominent that Drake tried to flip them before they even came. TMF is a very nasty track considering that K-dots only attack until than was to challenge Drake to a duel ("Let him prove that he's a problem!" -> something that's also widely ignored) But if you ignore TMF K-Dot comes off as far more aggressive than he actually is. Euphoria is a very hard reaction for Push-Ups but a restrained reaction for TMF imo. The pdf-file allegations are now seen as an invention of Kendrick and seen as true or untrue as the dv-allegations with K. even though one had far more evidence than the other. Remember: the only source for the dv-allegations is Drake. So people say: both are probably lying but K. won because he had the better music/lyricism.

Some sources also remove the DV-allegations from Family Matters and say: Oh Drake just made some Short-Jokes and than K. went all nuclear and called him a PDF-File out of the blue. These are both interpretations that are extremly flattering for Drake and will help him win the court of public opinion.

But the german media is full of absolutely rancid takes. Because people can't really judge the lyricism and quality of the songs they only go after the juicy details. The DV-allegations are seen as far more likely than the pdf-file allegetions And do you want to know why: because the heart part 6 maintains that Drake planted false information in K. camp. Even though this is ridiculus if you just take one second to reflect about that statement. Even though he's just saying that. Even though he will lie just a few sentences later and will once again tell on himself that he expected the Epstein-allegations.

It's ignored. Just two liar throwing mud at each other.

And i find these media takes really, really scary. I always knew it's easy to lie and that usually no one fact checks. But i wasn't prepared how little critical thinking happened. There wasn't even the question: could that be true? Has Drake reason to lie? you could say the wildest shit and it would just be believed. And if Kendrick released a diss afterwards it would also be believed without any critical thinking at all.

But he didn't and so people can say: it was a draw - or maybe after some time: it's drake who won after all he had the last track.

Some media sites than maintain that it was a draw and both fan-camps declared their favorite the winner. Some say Kendrick won because he was more brutal but lowered himself because he even took part in this beef. (this btw. is a take i also read in some english and usually white media. you know our pure snowflake is now to good for battle rap. If you win a pulitzer price you should ignore the commoners... there is something racist going on here...)

(Noone understands what battle rap is which is a shame. )

And believe me: nothing destroys my trust in the media more than seeing that kind of reporting.

[moonsanoverthinker]

tell me all your thoughts about criminal minds it has fully taken over my entire brain and i have a fat crush on the entire cast

I went into Criminal Minds knowing very little about the actual show, I knew character names and I knew there was one guy that people REALLY seemed to find hot and that was it.

I started it and that show got me in a chokehold for MONTHS (until that hyper-fixation ended towards the end of series 5 and I stopped watching)

Also fun fact I had to write two intro scenes for a crime drama for the scriptwriting portion of my media a-level and let me tell you having an intense hyperfixation on this show helped me so much and it was one of the best things I’d ever written for that class

Also hard agree on crushing on the entire cast, I personally think series 3 was the hottest series in that sense.

But here’s some thoughts on episodes and some other random things mixed in too!

(Also I 100% enjoyed more episodes than I’ve mentioned but I can’t remember the plots for a lot of them so these are the ones I remember clearly enjoying)

Series 1:

Ep 6 L.D.S.K - I recently rewatched this episode and I throughly enjoy the hospital scenes with Hotch and Reid

Ep 10 The Popular Kids - I remember being so shocked by Aaron Paul being in this episode, also lowkey he was hot in it

Ep 14 Riding The Lightning - This is one of my favourite episodes. I hated the husband so much and he made me cringe every time he opened his mouth, and the ending just made me feel sad and the wife broke my heart

Series 2:

Ep 5 The Aftermath - I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs (God I love Elle)

I definitely liked more than one episode of series 2 but I cant recall any major plot points properly. But I do remember Reid gets kidnapped and they started an addiction story with him that never went anywhere which kinda bugs me because I think that would’ve been an interesting thing to properly explore

Series 3:

Ep 5 Seven Seconds - Another one of my favourite episodes. This episode was a ride of emotions that I wasn’t expecting and I wasn’t prepared for the things that they solved outside of the ‘main’ investigation

Ep 8 Lucky - Yeah this one made me feel ill for a little while not going to lie. I mean we did get the horrible line exchange “God is in all of us” // “So is Tracy Lambert” I know it’s not funny in any way but I like to think he was just waiting to use that specific line

Series 4

Ep 7 Memoriam - Another one that just made me feel sad! Also god I love Jane Lynch so much watching her play Reid’s mother after only seeing her as the iconic Sue Sylvester in Glee was a shock

Ep 22 The Big Wheel - I just enjoyed this episode and wasn’t expecting to see the guy who played Steve in Hawaii Five-O playing a murderer (also I was obsessed with Hawaii Five-O at one point)

Ep 23 Roadkill - This is one that I couldn’t remember exact details of but I did remember how it ended and I liked the twist. Fun fact I didn’t know the guy who played Kevin was Xander from Buffy until my mum pointed it out to me when she saw him at the end of this episode. She’s only watched half of this criminal minds episodes and one other, idk why I’m saying this but I think it’s funny.

Series 5

Ep 9 100 - Poor man can’t catch a break :( also they didn’t need to go full emotional damage with Jack hiding but they did and it worked

Ep 13 Risky Business - I don’t know when this episode came out but I remember one specific internet trend that was similar to what goes on in this episode. I like the cyber space based episodes specifically the older ones I’m not fully sure why but they don’t creep me out as much as more recent cyberspace based things.

Here’s the random section

Gideon screaming help me so he can reenact the crime while Morgan looks so confused is one of my favourite moments

There’s a scene in one of Reid’s Vegas episodes and I can’t remember which one exactly but just that one scene where he wins a shit load of money and then gives it to the woman who I think was a prostitute is so silly but I just liked it

I don’t know the full happenings but I do know what happens to Reid girlfriend in series 8 and why cant the they just let him be happy for once

[jellicle-brawl]

"Hey Jelliclebrawl, you're being really cavalier and showing a lot of favoritism on this poll. :/"

Couple reasons for that.

I have in fact not shown favoritism, because thus far I have implied that I want Tugger to win. This is not true! I'm expecting that likely either he and/or Misto will win, and I'm okay with that because I like them, but I am also nerfing them as much as I fairly can so that at least they have to work for it. However, I actually want Etcetera to win, because she's my baby. I just don't think she stands a chance against, you know, everyone else. Maybe against Pouncival. I think she could take him.

On a less jokey level, this is my fourth tournament (and will be the third that has started voting once it does). In the first I was accused of favoritism because I said in an offmic conversation that I would like the two mascots of the bracket to make it to the finals; in the second, I ended up going off on one of my voters because my determination to remain impartial meant that I couldn't just say "I do not actually like this option and here is why" to the person who kept pushing me regarding an offhand and extremely neutral remark I made. So, I'm trying something different, and seeing what happens if I'm just really blatant about which options I'm backing. Especially since my choice is likely to change at the drop of a hat, especially with the groupies and young toms, because I really do love every single character and would genuinely love any of them to win. But especially Etcetera, because she's my baby.

In the two weeks before I changed up this tournament, I got exactly two votes. One of them was from my best friend submitting John Partridge as Tugger because they knew I really wanted to run him but had already selected the two autoentries and left him up to chance. It was really discouraging but in the interim while I watched that number stay at two I decided to just run a bracket about the 1999 proshot, because I had all those gifs anyway so why not? And since this is effectively a tournament where all of the options are my own submissions, I realized I can just do whatever I want to. Would I have really liked to do my original idea instead? Absolutely, and maybe if this tournament builds enough of a follower base I can run it (and my original original idea) in future. But in the meantime... I make the rules babyyyy. If you wanted impartiality you should have submitted to my tournament when you had the chance.

I want to be able to talk about my opinions and headcanons and the stuff I'm putting into my fanfictions and the little background things I've spotted and having to remain impartial gets in the way of that. Having to do it for the Discworld poll is hard enough; doing it for the thing I am actively hyperfixating on would be torture. I want to be able to chat with you guys in the comments. I want to have fun engaging with fellow fans. I can't do any of those things if I have to sit on my hands and pretend I don't care who wins or loses and don't have any favorites while I'm in character. I'm still in character here, just this time the character I'm inhabiting is a guy with 27 cats and some dogs and I really want you to have opinions about them with me while you decide amongst yourselves which ones you like best.

And, because it bears saying: regardless of my own impartiality, vote your own heart. If something I say makes you decide that you like that option, then by all means! But I am one man and I have one vote (well, two if I feel like going to the trouble of logging into the old account), and all of my propaganda should carry the same weight as any other rando who propagandas about the polls.

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Oops

My hand slipped

*(warning: long ass post below the cut, and massive spoilers ahead if I ever do get around to fleshing this out into a fully-fledged fanfic)

(Also, if you saw this before it was finished... again, no you didn't)

I'm thinking Wayne took Eddie to his buddy's ranch once when he was younger, maybe like right after he moved in with him, and it just. Changed his life.

(I also wanna tie this into being around the same time he came out/realized he was trans, and maybe the trip was Wayne's way of being supportive and/or getting him out of Hawkins for a little bit so he could experiment with presenting more masc safely. I'm a forever trans Eddie truther so for me this is just a given lol)

He just sort of naturally connects with the horses, relishes the feeling of freedom riding gives him once he works up the nerve to try, and he feels inexplicably more at ease, more at home, in his brief taste of ranch life than he ever has in his small town

Next thing he knows he's obsessed

Unfortunately his lot in life doesn't really present opportunities for him to engage with this newfound interest. Wayne can't take off long enough to repeat the trip; he was toeing the line with his boss the first time, and no way in hell could Eddie ever afford to actually have a horse, but even if he could, there'd be nowhere to keep it. Hawkins isn't exactly known for its wide open rolling plains, and neither are the bigger cities he's considered moving to someday in hopes of finding a more... accepting environment

So he's resigned to the fact that his daydreams of being a cowboy will never be a reality

But that doesn't stop him from learning as much as he can, and gushing about it to his peers at every opportunity (full on special interest/hyperfixation style, along with a lack of awareness regarding others being uninterested and annoyed by his infodumping. Neurodivergent eddie my beloved <3, another headcanon hill I will die on)

It gets to the point that the other kids find it obnoxious and start making fun of him; rumors about the circumstances of his criminal father dumping him with his uncle- along with speculation about why he doesn't quite look or sound like the other boys his age- certainly don't help, and neither do his ventures into "violent" music and "satanic" games

Eventually the Eddie we know and love today develops, the metalhead who sells drugs at house parties and runs the school's d&d club and shepherds younger students who don't quite fit in, the guy who embraces his status as town freak, because hey, if that's how everyone's going to see him anyway, might as well live it up, right?

But his horse girl/cowboy phase is something he keeps close to his chest. It's a part of him that's a little too personal, a little too integral to his growing up, and he also thinks it clashes a little too hard with the persona he's built for himself. Fortunately for him, most of the students at Hawkins high either don't remember that phase or flat out don't recognize him anymore, so he gets by without anyone but Wayne knowing the truth (and regularly teasing him about it)

Except.

He barely remembers- there was so much going on, so much has happened since, and he isn't the only one who's hardly recognizable from his eleven year old self- but there was one kid in middle school who actually liked him during that phase, who would talk just as excitedly about cowboys and rustlers and horses, who played along with him at recess while all the other kids either ignored them or rolled their eyes from a distance as they played their own games of tag or basketball or hopscotch

That kid understood him like nobody else did, back then. But back then, she was a girl- as far as anybody else knew- and one of the least popular students in school

So how the hell was Eddie supposed to realize that popular, normal, golden boy jock Steve Harrington was that same kid?

After a fateful spring break filled with running from the Hawkins mob, reconnecting with his childhood playmate, and horrors beyond his comprehension, Eddie finally connects the dots, and by then, he and Steve both have plenty of reason to get the hell out of dodge

However, it's a bit hard to go on the run when you're both confined to hospital beds after getting very nearly eaten alive by alternate dimension bat monsters

(I will absolutely be taking the opportunity of them being in the hospital together for Eddie to notice Steve's top surgery scars and have an "oh shit, he's like me" moment, which is probably when it finally clicks and he understands why he's felt so familiar despite them never being friends in high school. For context, the kid he knew in middle school mysteriously disappeared in seventh grade and was eventually replaced by incoming freshman "new student" Steve Harrington, whom everyone immediately liked and who instantly rose to the top of the social ladder without really even meaning to, so Eddie had never gotten a chance to run the same circles as him before now)

Eventually they do make it out of the hospital, still nursing their wounds but stubborn and desperate to get far away from Hawkins and everything it represents, besides the family and friends they leave behind, but that can't be helped- Eddie was wanted for a murder he didn't commit and Steve had taken the rap for Nancy's sawed off shotgun (as well as a bunch of other shit the kids had gotten into over the years) and there were also whispers among the police about his involvement in the mall fire the year before, so they were both running from the law. Taking the others along only would have put yet another target on their loved ones' backs, and besides, they're not exactly in fighting form at the moment, so it's not like they can do much to protect them

Along the way as they're running to god knows where- more running from than running to, really- they encounter a farm

A farm with horses

Horses that are clearly being neglected or maybe even abused

And that opens up the biggest can of worms in Eddie's life, because, for one, horses, but also, he knows what it's like to have the people who are supposed to take care of you turn their backs and lash out when things are going south- he can thank his dear old dad for that

So basically, there's not a bone in Eddie's body that's going to let him just walk on by without doing something about the situation, and when he says as much, he's pleasantly surprised to find that Steve is enthusiastically on board, possibly just as pissed as he is, in fact

And hey, it's not like they have to worry about ruining a clean legal record, and they've stolen an rv, they're definitely crazy enough to steal some dick's malnourished horses

So they do

Perhaps it's just meant to be, because there happen to be exactly two horses and exactly two of them

They succeed in their mission and get away with both horses without getting caught, and they're far away already by the time the dude notices they're missing (don't ask me how they transported two weak, full grown horses I haven't figured that out yet so shhh)

They've found a place to hide out for the time being, and they get to work rehabilitating and nursing the horses back to health. Eddie, having gone through his whole intense hyperfixation on equine care, is weirdly knowledgeable about determining what exactly is wrong and how to treat it, as well as knowing more than he has any reason to about training and riding, and Steve- well, Steve is just naturally a caregiver, and determined as hell. Between the two of them, the horses end up far healthier and happier probably than they ever have been, and they've definitely bonded with the kind humans who helped them get there

And thus, sort of by accident, Eddie and Steve have scored themselves two loyal, sturdy horses, just in time for Steve to have to ditch his car because they realize they've been tracked by his plates

Obviously they take off, renegades on horseback, Eddie having taught Steve how to ride at some point because even after all this time he's never forgotten, and through some beautiful twist of fate they wind up back at the ranch where it all started, and Wayne's old buddy offers them a job as ranch hands, telling them he doesn't need to know shit about their background as long as they know how to handle horses, and they clearly do

Basically they get to fulfill their childhood dreams of being cowboys (and maybe fall in love along the way) and live happily ever after or whatever I'm not really sure how this ends yet

(Oh and obviously Robin is going to somehow end up at the ranch and be reunited with Steve because ~platonic stobin is love platonic stobin is life~ and also because Robin dressed as a cowboy is something I think we all know is Right and Correct)

Was working on a thing for the au and a new headcanon occurred

This most likely won't be plot relevant, like, at all, but for some reason now that it's in my head I'm kinda stuck on it

It's just that Eddie secretly loves horses. That's all. That's the headcanon.

Will this matter story wise? No, no it will not. I'm pretty sure they will at no point encounter even a singular horse over the course of this fic

BUT

Look me in the eye and tell me Eddie Munson wasn't a horse girl in middle school

[lobstercardigan]

Hey, I just saw your Rachel defence post (love that) and I was wondering if you could expand on why you see Rachel and Blaine as autism-coded? It’s not something I’m super familiar with and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

YES!!! I love talking about this so much <33

The thing about autistic coded characters is that those traits are usually the main reasons people dislike them which is. Sad but not surprising LOL like how a lot of people say blaine and rachel are selfish or annoying for wanting things to be a certain way or being socially unaware ? And dramatic oh my gooood. That lack of social awareness and not picking up on cues or reacting the same way to things as most people would is definitely a big part of autism. People saying they’re over dramatic or overreact to things irritates me so much cause first of all,,,, that’s like 50% of the show LOL like?? People get so mad about blaine’s reaction to kurt cheating cause it was “over dramatic” (which I don’t even think it was but I’m the same person as him so maybe I’m biased) but like… at least with my experience with being autistic, people always think I overreact to things when they feel like the right response to me.

Very long answer under the cut :D

Same with Rachel obviously cause I think we’ve all seen about a million people say she’s dramatic. But I think a key thing that allistics don’t understand and just mock us for is how we care about things / react to things? Like things that don’t matter to most people may matter to us or vice versa and they’re both super ambitious too so. Like how Rachel is very commonly seen as selfish and it makes me want to rip my hair out cause no she’s not?? Singing and Broadway and all that - that’s her hyperfixation. It’s that thing she just wants to think about and talk about all the time yknow it’s how I am with glee. Her and blaine both can get very fixated on being better and doing their best and all that. Wanting to be the best or get the part or the solo or whatever doesn’t equal ‘I don’t care about any of my friends.’ There are quite a few instances where we see Rachel get fixated like that but then realize how it could come off or affect others and she turns it around. The ones I think of off the top of my head are her asking Finn to purposely throw the duets competition in s2, when she wanted to run for class president but realized kurt needed it to get into nyada and told everyone to vote for him and stuffed the ballot box for him?! When Mercedes was upset because she wanted the closing spot in night of neglect and Rachel went out and gave her a pep talk and told her to go take the spot from her because she understands what it’s like to want something so bad and feel like no one’s listening.

Something else a lot of people dislike her for is her getting into funny girl and then leaving to do a tv show. A lot of people think that was ooc but I don’t really think it was? It’s another hyperfixation thing to me. Like for me I can be so deep into something and love it so much and it’s all I think about and then all at once for some reason I just don’t care anymore and move on to something else. That’s how it works. And dropping out of nyada along with that,,, that quick decision making and stubbornness are also autistic traits fun fact! Needing things to be a certain way, needing schedules and needing things to happen as they’re planned, having a hard time seeing different points of view than our own, not understanding how things may affect others….. all that definitely applies to Rachel and blaine at least I think so. And honesty is a huge thing to both of them and that’s really cool to me cause I’m the same way. Like when they get upset about things it’s not usually because of the actual thing that the other person did, it’s because they didn’t keep their word. One of my biggest issues with being autistic is that when people say things it always feels like a promise to me. I remember everything. Even little insignificant things like someone just casually saying hey maybe we could do xyz next weekend. Like things that are just suggestions or thoughts that the person doesn’t even remember saying but I remember it and get super upset if it doesn’t happen. Especially if an actual promise was made and then broken…. I fall apart lol. And I think that’s exactly why blaine cheated. Kurt promised him in dance with somebody that nothing would change when he went to New York. That they would call every day and blaine could come visit and that blaine wouldn’t be alone. And then he was. And that was so hurtful to him that he acted out. Like obviously there was no feelings there when he did it. He didn’t have a desire to be with someone else. He was upset and didn’t know how to communicate it and mr lighthouse was there and it was an easy quick way to try to take out that anger and he felt awful and disgusting the second he did it. I know I have a very very hard time expressing my feelings or even being able to figure out what it is that I’m feeling. It’s so overwhelming sometimes the only way I can find to get it out is to do something without thinking about it like break something or yell or whatever. That’s why autistic people have meltdowns. Something gets us so overwhelmed that where most people would be able to calm themselves down and talk about it, we just Can’t.

On that same wavelength (sort of) , I wanna loop back around to the lack of social awareness I mentioned at the beginning cause I think it’s the easiest thing for allistics to be able to see and understand when I tell them about the hc. It’s easy for people to mistake that for someone being mean but the key difference is they aren’t doing it to be mean. When they’ll say they’re the best or they deserve something or point out something they think someone could change or whatever… it’s never an attempt to be mean and hurt someone’s feelings. It’s just that that internal filter most people have doesn’t work as well for us autistics LOL. It’s kinda hard to explain so bear with me… but like? When I think of something, I know my intentions behind it if that makes sense? Like oh my god it happens probably every day where I’ll say something and the other person will be like ?????????? Because I just don’t understand how things can come off. I think a lot of that is just these weird unspoken societal rules that neurotypical people seem to have ? Like I saw someone explain their autism as feeling like everyone in the world got a rule book on how to be a human but them and wow that is accurate lol. It’s hard for me to grasp how tone or wording can change the meaning of something because I’m like okay why can’t you just actually say the thing you’re thinking why are there rules on how to say things LOL like sarcasm or jokingly making fun of people I don’t get it at all. Like I had to ask my friends to not ‘jokingly’ make fun of me because in my head I’m like ? Well why would you say it if it’s not true?? Sorry this is very long winded and I don’t know if it makes sense but I think that lack of awareness socially is the biggest reason I hc them as autistic and coincidentally the biggest reason people hate them LOL

I think it’s easier to see with Rachel because she’s just a lot less affectionate than blaine is? Like she’s a very devoted and sweet friend once she really trusts someone but blaine is pretty sweet to everyone unless they give him a reason not to be. And he’s just more clingy both emotionally and physically than rachel is. And I don’t use the word clingy in a bad way like everyone else does because.. I’m the same way? That’s another thing with blaine that I see as an autistic trait and it goes along with the socially unaware thing because. Honestly I didn’t realize this until like a week ago but you know how most people have like. Boundaries in relationships? Like not wanting to be together constantly or wanting space or feeling smothered? That doesn’t compute with me and it doesn’t with blaine either - we see that in New York, New York! We get attached to people differently than neurotypical people do. Like how I’m so attached to blaine. It’s almost like a hyperfixation on a person LOL it’s just like once you find someone who understands you and who you trust and love they’re just all you wanna think about. You want to include them in everything and be with them all the time and I’ve realized that most people see that as creepy or annoying (looking at you kurt calling him an annoying clingy psycho) when that’s not what it is at all??? Like I’ll just explain it from my personal experience for reference. I love being alone. I need to be alone a LOT. I have a veeeeeery small social battery and get wiped out really quickly. But with my best friend, none of that is true. Because she understands me and how I function and lets me be myself and I just love her! Like I’m just like yes I wanna hang out every second that you aren’t busy and talk 24/7 and know your schedule and all that. And it’s ruined a lot of my friendships honestly because I guess most people don’t experience that? Like they need time away and don’t wanna constantly talk and I just didn’t realize that and it’s hard for me to understand. And that’s exactly how blaine is with kurt and why that episode makes me So Sad because like. I don’t know I know pretty much everyone collectively agrees that blaine was in the wrong there and IT MAKES ME SAD LOL :( he just loves Kurt so much and loves being with him and being near him and talking to him and hanging out with him and :(( honestly I still really don’t understand why people want time away or think you can be Too in love with someone because . Well Autism. But it’s just like…. That kind of stuff doesn’t compute with us we don’t pick up on oh hey maybe this thing I’m doing is secretly annoying the other person because our perception of that stuff is different.

That’s my number one thing with blaine that makes me :((( like. People expect him (and autistics in general) to just. Understand that kind of stuff when we just don’t? And instead of just communicating their thoughts or telling us what they want us to do they expect us to just Know? Somehow?? And get mad when we don’t? And that folks is why, contrary to popular belief, I think autistics have WAY better communication skills than allistics do cause we JUST SAY IT INSTEAD OF EXPECTING PEOPLE TO READ OUR MINDS ?!??! LMAO I literally still don’t get it but like. The vast majority of Rachel and blaine’s problems with people in the show could’ve been solved in about 5 minutes if the people who were annoyed with them would’ve just explained that they were annoyed and why.

AND!!!!!!!! My favorite talking point tbh when people let me ramble about autistic blaine is just the entirety of klaine before original song. Kurt is openly being flirty as hell and giving him heart eyes and all this for months and blaine does not one single time pick up on it and I think that’s beautiful and goes right along with the idea that autistics are oblivious cause like. Oh my god I’m gonna ramble again I’m so sorry but this is another thing I relate to blaine so hard on. Like knowing Kurt’s coffee order and paying for his stuff and being physically affectionate and sweet and all that…. It’s not inherently romantic for us it’s just. What we do when we care about someone? Like how in s4 blaine is always holding Tina’s hand and hugging her and snuggling up with people and giving cheek kisses and all that ITS HOW I AM TOO AND IT DRIVES ME BONKERS HOW EVERYONE ASSUMES ITS ROMANTIC??? LOL but yeah he didn’t pick up on Kurt’s (obvious to most people) flirting because like? Those are just nice things to do or say to people when you care about them to us like if you like me romantically JUST SAY IT LMFAOO my poor baby didn’t know :( and this is so funny to me but like. The blackbird scene when blaine realizes he Does like kurt like that? I didn’t know that’s what was happening when I watched it the first time LMAO he’s just making a face I thought he was just sad cause pavarotti died and cause kurt was sad and thought kurt’s voice was pretty. And then I saw the kiss scene and I was like Oh okay I missed that memo HELPPP I call that The Blaines Autism-Ception™️

BUT. This is the last point I’ll make I swear but you know in silly love songs where blaine says “I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do and I know how to act it out in song” YEAH. That is autism I don’t care I’m not open to any other suggestions or constructive criticism that is Me and it’s so personal oh my god. I’ve seen so so many people say blaine was good in season 2 and then annoying after that and it fills me with so much rage because HE WAS SO OBVIOUSLY MASKING IN SEASON TWO?????? LIKE ITS OBVIOUS TO ME IN GENERAL BUT ESPECIALLY THAT LINE HELLO??? My theory (and it’s canon because I am blaine actually and I said so) is that Dalton was so safe for blaine because he could blend in. The uniforms and the way they’re expected to carry themselves and talk and act and all that? That was So easy for blaine to just slip into and go with the crowd and fit in. And people liked him that way. And singing is clearly the thing that 1. He LOVES and helps him express himself and 2. He’s recognized for. He was good. Everyone thought he was good. We know from the whole show that the number one thing he craves is validation. He’s never felt good enough to his family or to himself and the things he did get that validation from were academics and music. And I think it’s the same for Rachel! They’ve both always felt so different and left out. It’s like well if no one likes me for me at least they like me for my talents! So they throw themselves into that. The amount of hurt on blaine’s face when kurt makes that “blaine and the pips” comment CAUSES ME SO MUCH PAIN GOD he never meant to leave people out :(( but I think that because kurt is just so unapologetically himself, blaine naturally opened up around him. They had the same interests and they loved listening to each other ramble and talk about their passions and sing and that was just amplified when blaine started hanging out with Kurt’s friends. And when kurt saw those glimpses of the real blaine, he encouraged him and loved it and that to me is why blaine seems “annoying” (no offense but everyone who calls him annoying should die) because he stopped just trying to blend in and be someone else because kurt loved him for exactly who he was. And that’s why I love klaine so much god especially s2 klaine just :(( they saved each other they really did and I don’t think Rachel was ever really masking but rather her turning point was when she too realized that some people loved her for exactly who she was and I think blaine was a big part of that honestly because they can relate to each other on so many levels and don’t have to tiptoe around each other like they do with other people. Especially for Rachel like blaine understand her passion and her attitude and didn’t assume her honesty was meanness and its so <3333

In conclusion I love my autistic Anderberry twins and think they deserve the whole entire world And I’m sorry this response was so long LOL you opened the floodgates asking me to explain something I’ve been analyzing the everloving shit out of for a year so thank you but also my apologies LMAO

[serene-victory-77]

Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic

There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.

I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books

I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):

On Inej

- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book

- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”

- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with

- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case? 

- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid. 

As for her being calm

- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?

- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.

- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?

- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that

- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.

On Inej’s abilities

- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events. 

- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do. 

- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker

- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could. 

So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in

Onto Kaz!

- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does

- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.

- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts

- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.

- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass. 

- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:

- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.

- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning. 

- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books

- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger

- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history. 

- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones. 

- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?

- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try

- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians

- I think he passes the realism check overall

For the other Crows:

- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16. 

- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).

- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up

- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun

- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point

- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still

- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).

- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that  his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do

- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities

Final Thoughts:

- They’re Traumatized Honors Students

- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other

- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.

- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.

- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.

- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially

- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing. 

- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later. 

- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence

- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic

In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.

TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.