#( this is my life
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Just thought I'd update and let everyone know that this is still a game that I am planning against my will
I just saw fanart for Arthur Lester from Malevolent that I was 100% sure was Viktor from Arcane
Logging into Tumblr and playing my favourite game:
Who is this fanart of??
Where the options are:
Jon Sims from The Magnus Archives
Bruno from Encanto
Simon Petrikov
Loki
Carlos from Welcome to Nightvale
Edward Teach (Blackbeard) from Our Flag Means Death
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I've got people coming over today, so I was motivated to do some tidying. Nothing major. But I was having a hard time and feeling dizy so I checked and
Huh. That is not ideal.
This represents activity between my sympathetic (orange) and parasympathetic (blue) nervous systems, based on heart rate variability.
Note that I woke up at 7 am, spent most of the morning sitting. Activity is represented by the little grey lines under the main graph.
I need a nap. But as mentioned, people are coming by. And tomorrow I've got appointments in the morning and afternoon.
Friday is canceled.
#this is my life#chronic illness#chronic fatigue#cfs/me#me/cfs#didnt do much yesterday either#might be getting sick#hope its not a full crash
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No you’re not hearing me. It’s the way that entire gala is referencing this panel. He’s canonically cosplaying Viktor Nikiforov. It’s all from the halloween party comic. Are you listening. Do you hear me. They healed them. This panel was the only gumlee moment for like 7 years. Do you understand.
#gumlee#adventure time#am I insane for remembering this#prince gumball#Marshall Lee#Fionna and cake#this is my life#Fionna and cake spoilers#THEY NEVER FINISHED THIS CONVO BTW WE JUST NEVER WENT BACK TO THAT#yuri on ice
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no fr i think TOO much
#lana del rey#tumblr#coquette#girlhood#lizzy grant#elizabeth woolridge grant#sparkle jump rope queen#this is what makes us girls#just girly thoughts#just girls being girls#im just a girl#hell is a teenage girl#girl thoughts#girlblog#overthink#overthinking#thinking too much#female rage#female hysteria#alana champion#alanabc#girlblogging#this is depressing#this is my life
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#bpd feels#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#depressing shit#living with ptsd#complex ptsd#actually ptsd#sorry for being depressing#bpd#bpd culture is#bpd splitting#bpd stuff#bpd blog#bpd shit#bpd tag#bpd things#tw depressing stuff#tw depressive#tw depression#this is my life#this is depressing#im done#bipolar disorder#mentally drained#childhood ptsd
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Why did this scene awaken something in me
We were DEPRIVED of seeing Hiccup smithing in the other two movies😭 Imagine post-puberty Hiccup hammering a sword. It’s not a want…it’s a need.
#hiccup haddock#httyd#httyd fandom#astrid hofferson#how to train your dragon#hiccstrid#httyd hiccup#help why am i like this#this is my life#take me there
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Who Killed Goro Akechi?
Titled thus because I was just going through the scene right after Mementos merges with reality, after they've failed to defeat the grail, and "Igor" tells Akira that he's lost the game.
And I'm like, ok, I've seen this a fair few times before. I know the script.
But then I was paying attention, and I just went WAIT WAIT WAIT HANG ON A MINUTE HERE.
"In accordance to the game's rules, the defeated must pay a price."
"Your life is forfeit."
"I sentence you to be executed."
And I was just... hang on. There's been more than one player in the game. If we go back to the earlier lines, "Igor" also says "You were mean to bring change to mankind, but it seems that was too much for you."
In a sense, all of this could also be applied to Goro Akechi.
Akechi was also forcing mankind to react and to change, albeit via chaos and uncertainty rather than encouraging people to stand on their own two feet the way the Phantom Thieves were trying to.
And what happens in the engine room?
Akechi loses the game.
He realises that Akira and the PT fooled him, and when he tries to get the better of them one last time, he fails. We often talk about how after he was defeated he "almost went over to their side" - but isn't that another aspect of his "defeat" in Yaldabaoth's eyes? Akechi admits, effectively, that he accepts the Phantom Thieves' way of doing things over his own.
And it's here that we get Cognitive Akechi, who comes in and starts talking about how the Captain (Shido) sees him, gives him an option to rejoin (or for the PT to switch sides), and.... hm, isn't that familiar?
Here's Caroline saying "If that's what our master wishes..." with Akira having a response tree of-
-"You're going to execute me?" -"Are you serious?" -or just plain being unable to speak (he could also be unspeakably angry, but he seems far more scared than angry, here).
Next, Akira refuses to die, because he has people relying on him.
I'm reminded of how with Akechi, once he's behind that bulkhead door, if you haven't finished his confidant he'll say something to the effect of "So my final enemy is a puppet of myself, how fitting."
If you have maxed his confidant? You get Joker telling him he can't die yet, as he has a promise to fulfil ("I'll hold onto your glove") with the implication that it's something that Akechi can use as motivation to want to keep living.
In both, it's "I can't die, I have a reason to live, and that reason is at least one other person."
When the twin wardens try to "execute" Akira, now in his Joker attire as his will of rebellion has manifested, Justine says "If our master orders so... then it cannot be helped..."
I'm reminded of how Cognitive Akechi was a being of pure servitude toward his Captain (master), Shido. If the Captain willed it, he'd even die for him.
This one feels similar, because the twins were never supposed to have "execution" as part of their duties at all, and both parties were pushed into a sense of unfailing loyalty to someone who never cared for them, and who warped their duties to something wrong.
In fact, I just went back to confirm the lines for Cognitive Akechi, and-
Yup.
Top is Cognitive Akechi saying "Captain Shido's orders... He has no need for losers." and the lower one is "Igor" saying "You have lost the game."
Basically, the same lines.
To the point that...
Cognitive Akechi: "Here, I'll give you one last chance. Shoot them."
God of Control: "I shall grant you an opportunity to make a deal with me."
Both times, it's clear that this is the wrong thing to do, and in both cases, the person being offered rejects said deal entirely - Akechi by shooting the switch to activate the bulkhead door, making it impossible for his cognitive self to attack the Phantom Thieves, and Akira by denying Yaldabaoth and reaffirming his bonds with the Thieves once he's told that they're also there.
I titled the post the way I did, because the way Shido is used by Yaldabaoth, I would not be surprised if Cognitive Akechi isn't just a product of Shido's mind protecting him against threats from, say, his own attack dog, but also?
This is Yaldabaoth's way to quite literally execute the first piece he started to play with, since Goro Akechi had failed as a Trickster and had "lost the game" - and as he and cognitive Akechi both say, losers end up dead.
So the question is - who really killed Akechi? Was it Shido's cognition? Was it Yaldabaoth? And was that cognition even an original part of Shido's palace in the first place, to that extent? How much was it "appropriated" at the "right" time, here?
There are far too many coincidences for me to pass it off as such
But the highlight for me at least, is this:
In both terms of Akira and Akechi's "executions," it's their sense of thinking and feeling that "I can't die, I have a reason to live, and that reason is at least one other person" that keeps them alive. And to the point, it's what keeps Akira's sense of rebellion so strong, and against nigh insurmountable odds.
If anything, it supports the fact that with Akechi's confidant maxed, he really does live, because that, too, echoes Akira's experience in the Velvet Room not even a full month later.
#p5 stuff#goro akechi#Akira kurusu#persona 5#p5 joker#cognitive akechi#p5 yaldabaoth#I went into the videos to do canon recap and wound up with meta#this is my life
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I met a bird, and the bird was a celebrity.
Big portrait shoot day at the Duke Fuqua school of business.
We headed across the huge walkway out back.
Bam, hawk.
Only had my phone the first time... sadly flew off before I could pull out the real camera.
...but a couple hours later?
Bam, hawk with actual resolution.
It's a Red-Shouldered Hawk, apparently. Presumably because a naturalist once said "dude, that hawk has red shoulders" and the name stuck.
But then I showed it to one of my contacts.
Apparently, this wasn't simply some random hawk.
This hawk hangs out all the time.
This is the Fuqua Hawk, and he's a bit of a mascot.
What else is there to say.
It's a hawk.
And it just really likes chilling out behind business schools.
I validate its life choices, and will be extremely disappointed if there isn't a Kenan-Flagler Condor next time I'm over on UNC campus.
–Colin
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Every time I get another "um actually st Joseph was 50 years old" I get the urge to chew on concrete
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Also add in bg3
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I made more yarn
And found some beads
And I think they'll be lovely together
I'm thinking a beaded cowl/smoke ring type something
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#‘all things unusual unexpected and unhinged’#at last they have them all#watcher#wearewatcher#Shane madej#Ryan bergara#mystery files#ghost files#BFU#unsolved#this is my life
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One of the many reasons why I don’t like drastoria is because like, y’all, Draco is a son of the black family
Which means gay and/or potter men y’all
#dmhp#draco malfoy#drarry#harry potter#incorrect quotes#i’m unwell#argue with the wall#top draco malfoy#bottom harry potter#hpdm#marauders era#regulus black#sirius black#wolfstar#jegulus#james potter#this is my life#dlm#hjp#the black family#animagus#animagi#lily evans#drastoria#astoria greengrass
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#bpd feels#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#depressing shit#living with ptsd#tw self destruction#tw selfhate#tw depressing stuff#tw depressive#tw depressing thoughts#tw depression#tw self destructive behavior#truth#this is my life#trauma#tired#borderline thoughts#sorry for being depressing#bpd#bpd splitting#bpd stuff#bpd blog
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