#( now I just wanna take some time to decompress )

[ofsavior]

been very lowkey recently, but know I love and support you all ❤️

[imaginedisish]

Wild Horses (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Proofreading took way longer than I thought; sorry this didn't go up on time, y'all. Anyway, the song references came from an idea from an anon, but the fic itself isn't a request. Working through requests now (sorry I haven't been doing more). I really like this fic, and I hope you guys do too. There are a couple of songs in this one, but "Wild Horses" by the Stones is def a Logan song. Enjoy!

Summary: Logan takes you out for a friendly drink...that ends up being more than just friendly.

Warnings: 18+ SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT MINORS DNI! Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, porn with very little plot, implied!age gap (Logan is older than everyone, tho?), friends to lovers, alcohol consumption, cursing, feelings, f!reader/afab!reader, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it.

Word Count: 4,362 back on my BS

You’re sitting in a chair in the hallway, decompressing from the day—which, to be honest, is impossible in a place like this. Kids playing, running, yelling, T.Vs blaring all across the mansion. It’s always so noisy, always so active. And sometimes, that can be too much. 

A cacophony of voices bursts down the hall. One is bassy, louder, angrier than all the others. You smile softly to yourself. Logan. You can hear his footsteps against the hardwood floors as he makes his way towards the front door. He has his keys in his hand, and his leather jacket on his back. 

You perk up, trying not to seem upset that he’s on his way out. Although it’s probably no use; you wear your heart on your sleeve. You care about Logan, and that care extends beyond friendship. You’ve wanted him for months, but you’re not quite sure if he’ll ever feel the same. You’re friends—close friends—but just friends. 

He looks over to you, his frown suddenly turning to a smile. “I’m going out,” he says, nodding to the door. “Wanna come?”

“S-sure,” you stutter, pushing yourself up from your chair. You look down at your denim shorts and tank top. “I don’t know if I should change tho—” “You look perfect,” Logan says, shaking his head and smiling. Your breath hitches in your throat, and you try your best not to overthink Logan’s words. His hand is at your back, warm and undeniably massive, guiding you with him to the door. 

A cough erupts from behind you. “Where are you going, Logan?” You know exactly whose voice that is. 

You and Logan turn around, and there’s Scott. “Out,” is all Logan says, gruff and short. 

“We aren’t done talking, and you still have to run drills with—”

But Logan is tugging your arm and leading you out the door and towards the garage before Scott can get a word in. 

“Logan!” Scott calls from the front door. But Logan doesn’t stop, his hand now clasping around yours. He raises his fist in the air and unleashes just one of his claws: the middle. You giggle as Logan leads you inside the garage.

He walks you to the passenger door of his truck, opening it for you and closing it once you’re safe inside. It doesn’t hit you until he’s walking around the front that he opened the door for you. 

He slips in the driver’s side door and turns the key in the ignition, the truck springing to life. He pulls out of the garage, down the driveway, and through the gate. 

“So, where are we going?” You ask, turning to face Logan. 

His eyes drift between you and the road, a small smile playing on his lips. “Thought maybe we could get a drink,” he says, eyes on you again. There’s something behind his stare—a softness, maybe. It’s intoxicating and dizzying. It’s so distracting that you have to force yourself to acknowledge what he said.

“Sounds good,” you finally answer, smiling back at him. He nods, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift, dangerously close to your bare thigh. 

The ride to the bar is quick and quiet, but not uncomfortable. You feel safe with Logan, cozy, like you could have spent the entire night just driving around with him. The bar looks like a little cabin—definitely Logan’s kind of place. It’s quaint, and perhaps a tad divey. But you don’t mind. You’re with Logan; that’s all that matters.

He slips out of the car, and you follow suit. He’s at your side when you open the door, smirking, holding out his hand to help you out of the truck. You take it, stepping onto the gravel of the parking lot. You think he’ll let go, that he’ll drop your hand to your side, but he doesn’t. 

Logan leads the way into the honeyed, yellow light of the bar. It spills across the porch as he opens the door, the light consuming you as you walk inside. The bar is warm, filled with couples and friends sharing drinks and listening to music. Some people are dancing over by a set of speakers. You smile, instantly recognizing the song blaring from the speakers. 

I met her in a club down in old Soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca-Cola C-O-L-A, Cola

You sing along, mouthing the words to Logan. A grin spreads across his face, his gaze flitting between your eyes and your lips. “You know this song? You like The Kinks?” He asks, his eyes narrowing as he tugs you over to a stool at the bar. 

“Of course! How old do you think I am?” You ask, moving your shoulders to the song as you sit down. 

He smirks, shaking his head. “Younger than me!” He shouts over the music, sitting down next to you, finally letting go of your hand. You wish he didn’t. You wish he held on. 

“Everyone is younger than you!” You shout back, singing the lyrics and swaying your head from side to side. 

Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy But when she squeezed me tight, she nearly broke my spine Oh, my Lola Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lola

Logan is watching you—watching the way your lips make that O in Lola, the way your hips shake in the chair, the way you throw your head back laughing when you mess up a line. He’s entranced by you. You finally notice him watching, and you giggle, hiding your face in your hands. 

Your eyes widen as his hands come up to yours, tearing them away from your face. “No hiding,” he says softly, so only you can hear him. “It was cut—”

“What’ll you two be having?” The bartender interrupts, arms crossed against his chest, towel thrown over his shoulder. 

“I’ll have a Coors, and she’ll have…” Logan turns to look at you, and you nod towards him. He takes the hint immediately, as if he can read your mind. “The same as me.” You smile as the bartender walks away to get your drinks. 

You part your lips, almost ready to ask Logan what he was going to say before the bartender cut him off, but you’re interrupted again as your beers are placed in front of you. 

“Thanks, bub,” Logan says, pulling out a twenty-dollar bill and slapping it on the counter. The bartender grabs the bill and walks off to help the next patron. 

“So…” you trail off, watching as more people drift to the makeshift dance floor. “Have you been here before?” You ask, making conversation. There’s something about being out with Logan that makes you more nervous than usual. He’s never awkward to be around or hard to talk to. But in here? Out together? Alone? This is different. It’s almost like…

A date. 

“Just a few times,” Logan answers, snapping you back to reality. His long fingers wrap around the neck of his bottle, and he takes a swig. You catch the way he licks the little droplets on his upper lip, his tongue darting out all quick and gentle. You can’t help but wonder what his tongue would feel like against your own lips, and in other places too. Now is certainly one of those moments when you’re thankful Logan isn’t a telepath.  

You trace your fingers over the wet, cool bottle and take a swig, too. It’s ice cold, the alcohol burning at the back of your throat ever so slightly. Lola fades out, and Whole Lotta Love starts up. You nod your head, singing along in between quick sips. 

Logan shakes his head. “This one too?” 

“Oh my god, old man,” you remark sardonically. “Do you think I live under a rock?” 

“Didn’t peg you for a Zeppelin girl,” Logan says, tipping his bottle to you. “I’m impressed.” 

“Well, maybe there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you say, meeting his bottle with yours. The clink is almost suppressed by the bass of the music. You bring the beer back to your lips and watch as Logan sips, too.

“Yeah?” He asks, pulling the bottle away. “What else don’t I know?” He leans in, his shoulder brushing yours. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the music pumping through your body, but you find the courage to lean into him. You can smell him—the pine and musk and tobacco on his flannel, his body. 

Your face is inches from his as you turn towards him, your noses practically touching. “I like dancing,” you hum. You down the last dregs of your beer and set it on the counter, grabbing Logan’s arm as Robert Plant’s voice croons throughout the bar. 

Way down inside

He knocks back the last of his beer, placing it on the counter as you tug him to the outskirts of the dance floor. 

Woman, you need, yeah

“I don’t usually dance,” he says, his hands finding your waist despite his words. He squeezes softly.

Love...

“But I’ll dance with you,” he says against the shell of your ear. And then his hips are rocking into yours, swaying with you to the beat. He’s never been this close, never this intimate with you. His lips ghost yours as the guitar and the drums echo against the wood floors and walls of the bar. 

Shake for me girl

I wanna be your backdoor man

You need more, need him closer. Logan pulls you in—chest to chest—his grip on your waist tightening. His hands slide around your back, slipping under your shirt. Your heart beats out of your chest as his fingers trail up and down your back. His lips find your ear again. 

“You’re pretty when you dance,” he whispers. “Pretty all the time.”

You look up at him as the song fades out. You part your lips to say something, but the next song starts up before you can find the words. You recognize the opening riff immediately, the acoustic guitar strumming gently through the speakers. It’s slow and soft. Logan pulls you back into his arms, closer this time. His palms rest against your lower back, and you let your arms wrap around his neck. 

“Don’t tell me you know this one too,” he husks, his lips at your ear again. 

Graceless lady

You know who I am

You know I can't let you

Slide through my hands

You smile into the crook of his neck. “Of course I do,” you answer. “Wild Horses. The Stones.”

“God, you’re fucking perfect,” he murmurs, pressing his hips harder against yours. You let your head fall to his shoulder as you lean into his chest. You can feel that ache between your legs spreading like wildfire. Friends don’t talk like this. Friends don’t dance like this. 

Because maybe you two aren’t friends. Maybe you never have been. 

“Logan,” you call, lifting your head. 

He’s just centimeters away, his eyes locked on yours. He tightens his hold on your lower back, your foreheads pressing together. “Wanted you for so long, pretty girl.” 

And then his lips find yours, consuming you, engulfing you like an open flame. He’s warm and soft, better than black treacle and golden honey and maple syrup. It’s slow and languid, his arms wrapping around you tighter, trying to pull you closer. 

Wild horses

Couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses

We'll ride them someday

You reluctantly pull away as the song goes on, looking up at Logan—looking for more. 

“We should get out of here,” he says, keeping one hand firmly around your waist as he guides you off the dance floor and towards the door.

He grips you tightly as you head to the truck, practically breaking the passenger door off the hinges as he opens it for you. He closes the door more carefully now that you’re inside. In the blink of an eye, Logan is on the other side, opening the driver’s door and slipping in. He turns the key in the ignition, and quickly makes his way out of the parking lot and onto the road. 

His hand moves across the center console and finds your bare thigh—exactly where you wanted him to be on the way here. His thumb brushes gentle circles into your skin. Something about it is possessive, like he needs to touch you, needs to know that you’re not going anywhere. His foot is practically through the floor as he presses down on the gas, racing back to the mansion. 

A few minutes later, Logan is pulling into the garage, his hand giving your thigh one last squeeze before putting the truck in park. And then you’re both tumbling out of the truck and towards the mansion. 

Logan’s hand finds yours, tugging you along and through the door. The mansion is swallowed in darkness save for the few hall lights scattered here and there. 

He suddenly pins you against the wall, his lips capturing yours. “Could fuck you right here,” he whispers. “But I wanna fuck you properly.” He steals another kiss before letting you go and leading you up the stairs towards his bedroom.

Logan twists the doorknob and guides you inside. Moonlight pushes through his curtains, washing his bed in white light. He turns around to face you, grabbing your waist and pushing you against the door. He’s caging you in, towering over you. 

“Logan,” you whisper, his lips crashing down on yours again. He’s all firm and solid against you. He bites your lower lip, his tongue swiping across to soothe the sting. You can feel his erection straining in his jeans, throbbing. He needs you, and you need him too.

“Want you so fucking bad, pretty girl,” Logan says between kisses. His hands slide down to your ass, squeezing gently before hoisting you up in his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you across the room. He settles you in the center of the bed and climbs on top of you. He’s straddling you now, grabbing the bottom of his flannel and pulling it up and over his head. He’s wearing one of those beaters that you love so much underneath—tight against his abs. 

Logan lowers himself down over you, balancing on his forearm while his free hand explores your body. He slips under your tank top, his fingernails tracing every inch of your stomach. Your shirt hikes up as he reaches higher. He finally hits the hem of your bra and looks down at you. 

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “You sure you want this, sweetheart?” He asks, his fingers dipping tentatively underneath your bra. 

“Y-yes,” you stutter, arching up into his touch. “More than anything.” 

His hand slips around your back in an instant, unclasping your bra before you fall back down to the mattress. He sits up, knees on either side of your waist, straddling you again. 

He grabs the hem of your shirt and practically tears it from your body, your bra falling away with it, leaving your upper half bare before him. His hands find your tits, grabbing, squeezing, palming them. “So fucking beautiful,” he husks, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. He settles back down over you, resting on his forearm as his free hand continues to glide over your breasts, pinching and pawing. 

“Lo,” you whine, rubbing your thighs together, searching for more friction. “N-need…” You trail off, unable to finish a coherent thought.

“I know, princess,” he soothes, swallowing your whines with a kiss. His lips trail to your jaw, your pulse point, and down to your collarbone. He keeps moving down, pressing a kiss between the valley of your breasts and then to your belly button. He spreads your legs with the palms of his hands and settles between them, his fingers tracing the skin just above the waistband of your shorts. 

You sit up on your elbows, staring down at him. He smiles softly, cocking his head as one of his hands unbuttons your shorts and pulls the zipper down. He’s teasing you, leading you on as he thumbs your clit through the denim. A jolt of pleasure shoots up your spine. You can tell by that smirk, that look on his face, that he’s loving this. 

“Please,” you whimper, and Logan obliges, fingers hooking into the waistband of your shorts and panties, tugging them down your legs and throwing them over his shoulder.

He settles back in between your thighs, his palms splayed on either side. His breath is hot against your cunt. “You gonna keep these pretty legs spread for me?” He huffs, and you nod emphatically. You need him now—you can’t wait any longer.

“Lo,” you whine again. “Please, fuc—”

But you’re cut off as he licks a long stripe through your folds and up to your clit. He does it again, another slow, long stripe. He’s taking you in, consuming you, committing your taste to memory. He smiles against you as one of his hands climbs up your inner thigh. 

“Tastes so fucking good, sweetheart,” he mumbles against you, the bass of his voice rocking through your body. His fingers finally find your folds, your slit, spreading your slick before gently prodding your entrance. “Pretty little pussy,” Logan murmurs, shoving two fingers deep inside you. He takes your clit between his lips, sucking roughly, his teeth grazing the bud. 

You curse under your breath as he laps at you—starving, reckless. His face is buried deep in your cunt, his hair a mess. His fingers pump in and out, deepening with every thrust. His tongue swirls around your clit, drawing hard, fast circles. You’re already getting close. It’s all too much—the feeling of his fingers deep inside you, hitting that sweet spot every time. 

“I-I—” you stutter, throwing your head back as your walls flutter around Logan’s fingers. 

He chuckles against you. “You what, pretty girl?” He pulls your clit into his mouth again, sucking harder this time. “Use your words. Tell me what you need.”

“F-fuck,” you stammer. “Y-you. Just need you.”

“Yeah?” Logan answers. You can feel him smirking between laps. “Just me?” And then he’s adding a third finger, plunging deep inside. He’s dragging against your walls, scissoring inside you. 

“Y-yes,” you answer, arching your back as he pumps in and out, down to the knuckles with every thrust. “Only you.” Logan mutters a curse against your cunt as he buries himself deeper inside. “Need you too,” he hums, his tongue flicking your clit, drawing rough circles around the bud. “Such a good girl,” he praises. “Can feel you getting closer, sweetheart.” As if on command, your walls clench around him, taking him in deeper.

“Feels so good,” you choke. He’s pushing you over the edge, and you can’t hold back anymore. “L-Lo I’m gonna—” “That’s it, pretty girl. I’ve got you,” he coos between harsh laps, his pace unrelenting. “Let go for me.” 

And then you’re coming undone around him, your walls contracting and fluttering. Pleasure washes over you in warm waves like liquid fire. You’re trembling underneath him, his head still buried between your legs. His thumb brushes over your hip comfortingly as his pumps slow and his fingers slip out. His tongue drags through your folds a few more times, savoring you, before he pulls away and looks up at you. 

“You okay?” He asks, his tongue swiping out to lick your juices from his lips as he sits up on his knees. 

You nod, reaching out to him. “Need you, now,” you beckon. Logan smiles, grabbing the hem of his beater and tugging it over his head. He unbuckles his belt, letting it fall to the floor as he works at his button and zipper. His fingers hook into the waistbands of his jeans and boxers, yanking them down his legs. 

His cock springs up to his stomach, and you can’t help but let your jaw drop at the sight. Your breath catches in your throat at the size of him. You always thought he’d be big, but he’s massive. 

“Don’t worry, pretty girl,” he husks, settling between your legs as he lowers down over you. He balances on his forearm as his hand wraps around his erection, guiding his cock to your entrance. “Gonna take care of you,” he whispers, his tip sliding through your folds. “Gonna make you feel good.” 

And then he’s filling you up, bottoming out with one thrust. Your chest is flush with his, his cock unmoving inside you. You’ve never felt so full, so whole. “Fuck,” he murmurs, his forehead pressing to yours. He pulls out and plunges back in, down to the hilt again. “So fucking perfect.” 

His hand lets go of his cock but stays between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and circling softly. He starts to set a rhythmic, gentle pace, letting you adjust to the sheer size of him. But you know he can’t hold himself back for much longer. You can feel the way his cock twitches and throbs against your walls as he drags himself in and out. 

You rock your hips against his. “Logan,” you moan. “M-more.”

His lips find yours—two puzzle pieces coming together. “You sure, sweetheart?” He asks, his thumb adding more pressure to your clit. 

You nod. “Y-yes,” you stutter. “I can t-take it.”

He curses under his breath, pulling out and slamming back in. He pounds into you, his cock hitting that spot deep inside, where you need him most. “Wanted you this whole time, pretty girl,” Logan grunts, thrusting in and out carelessly, punishingly. “Thought about you all the time, thought about fucking you just like this.” 

“Th-thought about you too, Lo,” you whimper. 

His cock twitches inside you. “Love it when you call me that, sweetheart,” he groans, his hips snapping against yours, thumb flicking your clit. “Say it again.” “Lo,” you pant as he fucks into you. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, fingers clinging to his biceps. “Logan,” you moan again, his name the only thing on your mind. 

Your walls flutter around him as he pounds into you with reckless abandon. “That feel good, sweetheart? You like when I take what I want?”

“Fuck, Lo, yes,” you whine. You’re growing closer and closer with each snap of his hips, with every swipe of his thumb against your clit. You know you can’t last much longer, not with his lips on yours, not with his praises floating through the air. 

“Doing so good for me, princess,” he whispers, his voice deep and raspy. “Taking me so well. Can feel you squeezing me.”

You contract around him as he sinks inside you, working you open with every thrust. It’s too much. “L-Lo,” you stammer. “I’m s-so…” You trail off, your eyes fluttering open and closed. 

“I know, princess. I’ve got you,” he hums, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “Wanna feel you come on my cock.” His thumb circles your clit, faster, harder, still splitting you open with every pump. “Know you can come again; know you can take it.”

You shatter underneath him as the words leave his lips, falling apart in his arms. “Logan!” You cry out, your orgasm crashing into you, harder this time. His thumb is still on your clit, his cock pumping in and out with no signs of stopping. He isn’t letting up or letting go. Your nails dig into his biceps, searching for support, purchase, something, anything. 

Logan slams into you, chasing his own orgasm as that tension builds inside you again, liquid heat raging through your body. “Lo,” you whine. “It’s s-so much.” The pressure is so intense it almost burns, but it burns deliciously. It’s thick and hazy, dizzying and uncontrollable. 

“Just a little more, pretty girl,” Logan soothes, his pace faltering, growing sloppier with each pump. “Know you have another in you, know you can take it.” 

He flicks your clit, electricity sparking at the base of your spine. You’re so close again, ready to burst. “C-close,” you stammer. 

“Me too, pretty girl,” Logan grunts, cock twitching against your walls. “Wanna fill you up, wanna stay inside.”

You wrap your arms around his back, keeping his chest pressed to yours. “P-please,” you whimper, clenching down around him uncontrollably. His thumb is still stroking your clit, back and forth, drawing rough, tight circles. 

“Come on, princess. Come on my cock again,” he whispers at the shell of your ear. You listen, his name on your lips as you let go underneath him. You’re melting into the sheets, dissolving into nothingness, into air, as your orgasm courses through you. 

Logan lets go too, filling you up, spilling inside you. “So fucking beautiful like this. Always so beautiful,” he praises, his thrusts slowing as he rides out his orgasm. He pulls out, his thumb stroking your clit a few more times, easing you down from your high. 

He presses a soft kiss to your lips, rolling onto his side and tugging you with him. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. “You have no idea how long I’ve thought about doing that…how long I’ve thought about you,” Logan confesses, his fingers drawing abstract shapes across your lower back. “Wanted you for so long, pretty girl.”

Your chests heave together, breathing in time. You can feel him, still half hard against your thigh. “I thought you saw me as just a friend,” you say, smiling at how quickly things have changed in one night. 

Logan shakes his head, smiling back. “Never saw you as just a friend, princess.” He presses another kiss to your lips, savoring the feeling of you against him. “Should’ve taken you out sooner.” He presses his forehead to yours. “But I would’ve waited…waited forever just for you.”

You can see the adoration in his eyes, the love. And you know he means it. You bury your head into his chest. “I love you, Lo,” you whisper. 

“I love you too, princess. Always have.”

tags: @ilysmdovie12 @prettyseaveins @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @silversprings-mp3 @movhoney @wittyjasontodd @theasiaabattoir @fanfic-writing-barbie @manipulatour @pedrohoe04

[jonathansthickthighs]

My Sweetest Heart: Yandere! Fushiguro Toji x Reader

Description: You have a one night stand with Toji and now he won’t leave you alone.

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

Part 4 here

Part 5 here

Masterlist

Trigger Warnings: nsfw, yandere, obsessive behavior, female reader, AFAB reader, toxic behavior, stalking, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up), alternative universe (no curses), daddy kink, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s, toji is in his mid 30’s)

A/N: hello! this is my first time posting anything here. if anyone reads this, i hope you enjoy. if you do, i might continue it :)

Not edited!

You were uncertain how you ended up with your legs on each side of your head as this beast of a man you didn’t even know thrust deeply into you. You weren’t even aware you were this flexible before this. However, you weren’t complaining as you felt the tip of his thick, hard member collide with your g-spot repeatedly. He had made you reach your peak three times by now and it was evident that stopping wasn’t in his plans. His grunts and moans only fueled your horniness, hearing a man make some noise during intimacy could rile any woman up.

“This tight lil’ pussy is driving me crazy, sweetheart. Fuck— you gonna let me feel you come on me again? Lemme feel you flutter around my cock, baby, please.” He begged into your ear, his low, raspy voice sending waves of pleasure all over your body. This man knew what he was doing to you.

You moaned loudly, feeling his dick twitch inside you. “I need it, Toji! Don’t fucking stop!”

“That’s right. Say my fuckin’ name, baby. Tell me who this pussy belongs to.” You thought this to be impossible, but he started drilling you harder, making your eyes roll to the back of your skull and forcing you to succumb into the delightful sensation that his large prick brought you. The room was filled with the sound of his heavy balls slapping against your ass repeatedly, your juices pooling on the sheets of the bed. It didn’t take long for your pussy to clench around his dick, announcing the arrival of your orgasm.

“Oh fuck! I’m gonna— I’m g-gonna come, Toji!” You gasped as you squeezed his cock, making him shudder. You were forcing him to come.

“Holy s-shit.” He cursed as you milked his cock. Long, thick spurts of semen started painting your walls white, making your combined juices overflow from your abused hole. He stilled inside your pussy as he finished riding his high, laying his head on your breasts once he was done.

You thought it was over, until you felt him starting to suckled on your nipples.

“Lemme take you again, sweetheart.” He groaned, his voice muffled by your breasts. Jesus, does this man have unlimited energy? He flipped you over onto your stomach on a swift motion, as if you weighed nothing to him. Somehow, you still had enough strength to keep yourself up on your hands and knees. He spread your ass cheeks open and watched as his seed dripped out of your cunt slowly, like it was seducing him into sliding himself inside you once more. He hissed, feeling his dick get painfully hard again.

“Gods, what a beautiful sight.” Toji grasped his shaft, stroking it a few times before pressing the tip against your entrance, forcing a moan out of you. “You want it, you slut? Wanna feel daddy’s dick splitting you open again?”

You weren’t experienced with men.

In fact, this was your very first one night stand. You wanted to experience for once in your life what it meant to be free and to have control over your own body, so when you saw Toji looking directly at you from across the bar, you knew he was going to be the one fucking your brains out tonight.

You had decided to go out with your girl friends to decompress from work when one of them pointed out the dark haired, exquisite looking man that had been staring at you the entire night. You didn’t know if it was the fact that a man that looked like that had been eyeing you up this whole time or if you were just tipsy, but you got a sudden burst of confidence that pushed you to go talk to him.

He seemed extremely pleased you approached him, excited even. He was noticeably older than you, but not old enough to be your father. You had never paid much attention to men his age, but something about this absolute hunk of a man pulled you to him. Looking at him up close made you nervous, the confidence you felt earlier, slowly turning into shyness. This man was definitely the most handsome man you’ve laid your eyes on. Judging by the smirk on his face he enjoyed your shyness. He thought it was cute.

To your surprise you had a very fluid, enjoyable conversation. He knew how to have a good time. You could feel a sincere interest coming from him, he wanted to get to truly know you, asking you questions about yourself, your likes, your hobbies and your life in general.

It was a shame you only wanted to fuck him.

At this point of your life you weren’t looking for a relationship. You had just gotten out of a five year relationship with your first ever boyfriend a few months ago and you simply weren’t ready to get into another commitment just yet. You had been with you first boyfriend since you were teenagers and you never got to explore what it felt like to be young and single. You wanted to learn how to be alone.

So you cut Toji short politely inviting him over to your place and he didn’t even hesitate to agree.

This is how to ended up with this man pounding you sore pussy from behind like a madman.

You moaned wantonly as he spanked your ass red, your ass jiggled with each harsh thrust. “Pussy’s so fuckin’ good, baby. The bes’ one I’ve ever felt.” Toji was so pussy drunk, he could barely form words.

You looked over your shoulder wanting to see his expression and god was the sight gorgeous. His mouth hanging open and his brows furrowed, his body dripping with sweat. Then he opened his eyes and looked directly into yours. You both had the same expression.

“Oh, don’t you give me that slutty face. I’m not gonna last.” Toji grunted, delivering another slap to your ass. You smirked and let out a moan as you started pushing your ass towards him, trying to meet his thrusts. You squeezed your pussy tighter around him feeling him twitch inside you.

“You fuckin’ whore. You want me to fill you up with my cum again don’t you?” He said between a moan and a chuckle. “Tell me you want it, baby.”

“I want it so bad, daddy. Please empty your balls inside me!” Your fifth orgasm was approaching as well.

“Take it!” He bottomed out releasing his seed straight into your womb, making you scream as your own orgasm took over squirting all over his crotch and thighs. Your legs finally giving up as you crashed onto the bed.

Toji pulled out slowly, groaning at the sensitivity. He laid down besides you, admiring your sweaty, red face. He thought you looked the most beautiful like this. “How about we take a shower together, sweetheart?”

So you did and you let him spend the night.

After all, how bad could it be?

The next morning you woke up with a pair of strong arms wrapped around you. You almost got scared until you remembered what happened last night, you could not believe you actually had sex with a stranger. You covered your mouth as you giggled quietly in disbelief. You knew this wasn’t going to become something frequent, you weren’t the type to sleep around, but you had to admit it had been a great experience and you were glad it had been with a man as experienced as Toji. It probably wouldn’t have worked out as well if it wasn’t for him, so you had to give him some credit.

Speaking of which, you could feel Toji stirring awake. You turned around to look at him and you were received with a sleepy smile. “Mornin’, sweetheart.”

“Morning.” You replied back feeling your shyness take over.

“Don’t get shy with me now, I saw your entire being last night.” He joked, giving your cheek a sweet kiss. Are men usually this affectionate after causal sex?

You blushed from embarrassment, he really did see your entire being. You started to get up, only to be stopped by a hand grabbing your arm. “Where you going so early, baby? Let me keep you warm for a little longer.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Toji. If I don’t get up now, I’m gonna be late for work!” You answered giving him a courteous smile. You weren’t certain why he was being so doting, you didn’t know if this was normal behavior after a one night stand. What you did know was that, that’s all you wanted it to be. Simply a night of good, casual sex with a hot guy you met at a bar. A man you would never have to see again and to you it was safe to assume that Toji was the type of man looking for the same thing as you.

“I see. Well, maybe we could grab some coffee and I can drop you off at work. How does that sound?”

“I don’t drink coffee.”

“Lunch?” He insisted.

“Toji—“ He cuts you off by pressing his scarred lips to yours, tangling his fingers with your hair.

He pulled away, his finger still holding your hair. “Baby, don’t worry. Just give me your number and we can schedule something for when you’re available.”

You felt odd. How can you get out of this situation? You hated this, you’ve never been in a position like this before. You felt helpless as you hesitantly agreed to give him your number. The weirdest part being that he never let go of your hair until you entered you contact information into his phone. It felt threatening in a way, even if his grip on you was loose.

He let go of your hair when you handed him his phone back. “Perfect. Let me just call you real quick so you can save my number.” Good thing you didn’t give him a fake number. “I’ll get going then. I’ll text you later, sweetheart.” Toji smirked, pecking your lips before walking out of them room.

You let out a sigh of relief once you heard your front door slam closed. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until now. You were feeling exasperated, you were already praying he never contacted you.

Maybe last night was a mistake.

Toji was a troubled man. He knew it. The people around him knew it.

They say no one is born evil, but from the moment he gained conscious he doesn’t remember a moment when he was truly good and quite frankly, he preferred it stayed that way. He had been raised around pain and suffering. He was brought into this world to become an assassin from a young age. He was brought to inflict nothing but agony and that’s all he knew how to do. He doesn’t remember a single moment of happiness from his early childhood to his adult life. He was made to believe he didn’t deserved love and he believe it because he never did anything worthy of it. He knew he wasn’t a good man.

He knew he wasn’t a good man and that’s why he didn’t feel guilty about all the times he followed you as you walked back to your place from work.

The moment he laid his eyes on you, something changed deep within him. There was a feeling he’d never felt before and it felt… good?

You first saw Toji at that bar, but Toji?

Oh, Toji first saw you at least two months before that.

Rain was pouring over him, but he could care less because what he was witnessing right now was perhaps the most breathtaking, heart-bursting sight in his entire existence. It was you. The answer to all his problems just walked past him in the torrential rain. He was amazed that not even the rain could conceal your beautiful face, he could see it perfectly clear. You were wearing some type of uniform that clung to your body thanks to the weather. Toji couldn’t help but admire the shape of your body, instantly getting hard at the sight of your nipples hardening from the cold rain under your white shirt. You had only walked by him for a few seconds, but to him it felt like an eternity. It was almost as if you were walking in slow motion. In spite of being distracted by your beauty, he was still an extremely observant man and was able to descry the name of the company you worked for on the logo planted on your shirt.

Toji wasn’t a good man. That’s why he stalks you any time he can, to him he’s just making sure you’re safe. That’s why loves breaking into your place and stealing your clothes and anything he can get his hands on that will make him feel closer to you. He particularly loves laying on your bed and smelling your sheets, your scent was simply divine. That’s why he tugs on his cock any time he caught sight of you. That’s why he would drag any man that dared approach you —hell, even look at you— to an empty alley and beat them to a pulp without a care for their sorry lives. He was an assassin, it’s all he knew how to do.

Toji wasn’t a good man, but he wanted to be for you.

He couldn’t stand hiding behind your shadow any longer, he was growing desperate. He felt pathetic, this feeling was alien to him and he hated it. He needed you to notice him.

Imagine his luck when he saw you walk into the bar that night. Toji was over the moon. Both of you were finally at the same place at the same time and he didn’t even need to fake a scenario for it to occur.

Toji was having an internal battle with himself, trying to find a way to approach you where you wouldn’t find him creepy. You were with your friends which made it harder for him to come up with a way to swoop you away. He never had trouble getting any woman to bed him, but you weren’t just any woman. You were special to him. He wanted to keep you, provide for you, protect you, love you.

He didn’t realize how long he had been staring at you until he noticed one of your friends point him out. He freaked out internally until he saw you move your gaze towards him and he swore his heart could come out through his mouth at any moment. This was the first time he ever made eye contact with you and he couldn’t wait to hold your gaze for the rest of your lives. To his surprise, you smiled at him.

He observed as you whispered something to your friend before standing up.

You were walking towards him.

All this time thinking about how to approach you and now you were coming to him.

That night he had the best time he’s had in his life. Getting to talk to you, look at you up close was indescribable to him. Although he wished he could’ve spoken to you more, he didn’t mind how the night ended at all. Getting to enjoy your delicious little body was the best part of it. He gave you his all. He wanted to make sure you were ruined for any other man, he wanted you to only think of him from that night forward.

He really thought he had achieved that.

But the next morning you were so cold to him it broke his heart to a million pieces.

But that’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll win your heart over. ♥︎

[puckinghischier]

thinking about how luke hughes is probably the best hugger known to man. like he is so large i just know his hugs would be like a big warm blanket around you making you forget anything that had you worried

“baby, what’s wrong?” Luke asked as you walked through the front door, shoulders rounded and a frown on your face.

“bad day, L” you responded, dropping your bag at the door and walking straight over to him, needing to feel one of his all encompassing hugs.

“hug, please?” you asked him, looking up at him.

he didn’t respond, but walked forward and wrapped his long arms around you, squeezing your body to his so tightly you felt like you would melt into him.

work had been rough lately, your duties increasing and your patience decreasing. you hadn’t had a day off in over a week, and you were so tired all you wanted to do was cry and then sleep. luke knew you’d been struggling lately. your coworkers were getting on your last nerve, management was making you madder by the day, and you just wanted time away from work, but despite your requests, they kept giving everyone else time off, but not you.

he wanted to be there for you, always trying to make sure the apartment was clean, the dishes were done, and dinner was either cooked and ready or a take out order was placed when you got home. on especially hard days, he even had a glass of your favorite wine waiting on you. but he couldn’t always be there.

with the new season quickly approaching, his training hours were increasing tremendously in anticipation of training camp starting. he was being pulled in a million different directions right now, not always there when you come home from a long day. those days were especially bad, because you had no relief from the shitty day when you got home, going and sulking on the couch instead.

luckily he was today, because all you wanted was him from the second your least favorite coworker started bitching at you today.

he rubs his hand up and down your back gently, the soothing motion causing you to close your eyes, somehow squishing yourself even further into him.

“i just don’t know how much longer i can do this, luke. i shouldn’t be feeling like this at the end of every day. i should be able to have at least one day to get away from that place and decompress, but they just won’t give me a day off,” you speak into his chest, not wanting to leave his warm embrace.

“you know i’ve told you i can take care of you, that you don’t have to keep working this job that’s killing you,” he responded, turning his head and laying his cheek on the top your head.

“and you know i’ve told you i can’t not work. you already pay for the apartment, i can’t let you pay for everything else by yourself too,” you remind him, having had this conversation several times in the last few months.

luke knows how you feel about him taking the biggest percentage of your shared bills, but he wishes you would just give in. he wants to provide for you, to give you the break that you so desperately need and deserve.

“i know, but it doesn’t have to be forever. quit this job and take a few months off before searching for another one. come to a bunch of my games this season and take some time to go back home and visit your family,” he suggests, knowing it’s been nearly a year since you last saw your them, not being able to get enough time off of work to make the trip home. “better yet, wait until next summer, then come spend it with us at the lake. or let me take you somewhere, just the two of us.”

he places a kiss to the hair on the top of your head, pulling back ever so slightly so you can lift your eyes up to meet his.

“i’ll think about it,” you appease him for the time being, not wanting to get into the full discussion right now. “right now i just wanna stay in this position for a little bit longer,” you move your head to bring your cheek to rest against his chest again, inhaling the comforting scent of his cologne.

you feel the rumble of his small chuckle in his chest, squeezing you before whispering a small “jump” while sliding his hands down to grasp under your ass, picking you up and carrying you over to couch as you cling to him like a koala.

he lays his back on the couch, bringing your body down with his so you’re laying on top of him while his arms pin you to his torso. you relax yourself into him, wiggling around just slightly to make yourself comfortable.

luke brings a hand up to play with you hair, caressing the back of your head. you bring your own hands to rest behind his neck, twirling one especially long curl around your finger over and over again, the warmness of his body and the repeated motion of his hand smoothing down your hair lulling you into a half-sleep, half-awake state.

luke says nothing, just laying there and holding you, waiting on you to make the first move to get up. if it was up to you, though, you’d never leave from this position. wanting to live and die in one of luke’s hugs.

after luke feels your breath even out and soft snores start leaving your slightly open mouth, he moves his hand from your hair to rub your back again, wanting to give you time to rest before waking you up to eat dinner.

almost an hour later, you stir, causing luke’s movements to pause.

“how long was i out?” you rasp without moving.

“about an hour. was gonna wait a bit longer before seeing what you wanted for dinner,” he whispered, his lips resting right by one of your ears.

“cuddles,” you tell him, burrowing yourself further into his chest.

luke laughs at you again, stabilizing your head with a large hand, preventing you from shaking all over with his laughter.

“you gotta eat something, baby. not good to go to sleep on an empty stomach,” he scolds you, knowing if he didn’t get food in you soon, you’d wake up tomorrow with an empty belly and a hangry attitude.

“please don’t make me move, L. the longer i lay here the more i forget about why today was so bad in the first place,” you tell him, fisting his shirt to physically ground yourself to him.

luke’s heart swells at your words, face flushing while a grin breaks out on his relaxed face.

“okay, i’ll give you another thirty minutes, but that’s it. then we’re getting up and ordering something to eat. we also need to get your stinky ass in the shower,” he teases, pinching the soft, exposed flesh on your side from where your shirt was slightly raised from all of your wiggling earlier.

you yelp and squirm around on him, brining your legs to hook around both of his, making it to where he can’t stand up without taking you with him.

“we’ll see about that,” you challenge him, nuzzling your face into his chest, focusing on the sound of his heartbeat in his chest to lull you back to sleep.

when you wake up the next morning, in the same position on the couch as last night, your stomach immediately starts to growl, not letting you forget that you didn’t eat dinner last night after convincing luke to stay there with you all night.

you were short and snappy with him, poking his face so he can let go of you so you can go shower and change for work.

knowing you were likely just hungry from last night, he slips out and runs down to your favorite bagel place to grab you some breakfast, making it back before you ever even stepped foot out of the shower.

when you finally came out of the bathroom, half-dressed with tears in your eyes, luke was immediately concerned, walking over to wipe the pooling tears and ask what was wrong.

“i can’t find my favorite blouse and i don’t want to wear another one. i could’ve swore i had washed it and hung it up, but i can’t find it, so now i’m going to look like an idiot at work all day,” you sniffle, still emotional from the previous work day.

luke assured you he’ll help you find it, but when he pulls it out of the dirty laundry hamper you almost go over the edge, mad at yourself that you didn’t wash it.

your tears quickly turn to angry ones, telling him to forget it, you’ll just find something else and then slam the door to your bedroom in his face.

when you come out in a very similar looking blouse to the one you wanted, he can still sense the hostility in your actions and attitude.

he slowly walks over to you as you unwrap your bagel, getting a little too frustrated when the wrapper is stuck to the cheese, this one piece of wax paper refusing to separate from the bagel.

tears start to spill over your eyes, causing luke to rush to your aid, tearing off the stubborn piece of paper.

“thank- thank you,” you speak softly through a hiccup.

“what else can i do to help you?” he asks, not wanting to send you off to work already in a state of unease.

“hug me?” you look at him with a pout, making luke laugh at the never ending cycle, but feeling the same about hugging him as you do, never wanting to step away from the warm blanket of comfort both of you create in these moments.

[sunghoonbite]

pairing: heeseung x reader

warnings: nsfw, blowjob, head pushing, situationship, hookup, fwb, quickie, short drabble

minors dni. before reading

i wanna do some mtl w the members after this so send some asks!

hookups with heeseung get messy.

getting off work and asking you to come over to take relieve his sexual frustration was risky, but after all, it wasn’t unusual.

he knew it wasn’t conventional to have hookups while in the industry, he knew that and yet, this was the third time between you two.

you knew you weren’t the only one, you knew that and yet, you didn’t care.

because something about the fact that he called you, needed specifically you in that moment gave you a rush. heeseung wanted you more than other girls that night, and that was enough for you.

so you found yourself at the door of his empty dorm.

and then you found yourself on his bed, making out while sitting on his lap, opened-mouthed kisses while you moaned into each other’s mouths.

you could feel him under you, hard, as you gripped the collar of his shirt to pull him in closer.

he broke the kiss presumably for air, breathless as you wiped his saliva off your lips.

“i need you,” he breathed out, “need your help.”

he shot you a half-smile grin from the corner of his mouth, his eyes low and agaze.

you weren’t super experienced with giving head, honestly, but it’s heeseung, and you tied your hit up before he said more.

he guided your hips to place you until your head was lowered, your body in a crawling position while he laid back, half his body propped up against the wall that stood next to his bed.

he tugged his boxers down, almost as soon as you lowered, and you took his tip into your mouth.

you took your time at first, sliding your tongue down and back up a few times before attempting to fit more of him inside you. his thighs twitched next to your arms.

“f-fuck,” heeseung started, catching his voice as he breathed out.

he subconsciously grabbed a fistful of your hair, lightly, but you could tell he was holding back pulling it harder. his other hand shakily gripped the blanket next to him in order to release tension.

you continued to work your way down, your mouth now full of him, but unable to take him completely. you puckered your lips and sucked, moving your head upwards to focus on his tip.

this got a reaction out of him immediately, and he threw his head back and panted out an estranged moan. it sounded as if he attempted to speak, but was unable to form a coherent sentence. syllables he all said all at once jumbled together in his whispers, before finally allowing himself to let your name leave his mouth.

pleased with the skills you didn’t know you had, you tried to fit more of him inside of your mouth. before even reaching the bottom of his cock, the tip hit your throat and you lifted your head up with a gag.

heeseung’s grip on your hair tightened with that, moaning to the sound of your reflex.

“keep going,” he ordered, out of breath.

you could tell he was getting close now, his breath shakily staggering and his fingers still intertwined with your hair.

you wipe his precum off your lips and begin to continue. his cock was harder to take than expected, but you persevered, sucking onto him while bobbing your head. trying to give the rest of him attention, you grabbed his cock with your hand and stroked while you worked your mouth.

“fuck,” he exhaled, “just, let me…”

with that, heeseung forced your head down on his cock with his hand, filling up your throat. his noises got louder, deep whimpers that just kept going, and before he could realize he was thrusting his hips up into your throat. he was facefucking you now, with little fucks and that’s it exiting his mouth as yours filled with him.

you gagged each time he shoved you down. you gripped his thigh with your hand and dug your nails into him, partly to prop yourself up, and partially to decompress. he didn’t seem to mind, instead focused his attention more on his cock hitting the back of your throat.

little moans escaped you, but ended up muffled by your mouth covering his cock. he still got off to what noises he could hear, the mmphs that you were able to vocalize despite the circumstances.

physically, you weren’t getting pleasure, and your eyes watered from the way your throat tightened around him. but the thought of letting him use you, allowing him to fuck your face was so appealing and lewd that you whined each time he shoved himself down into you.

heeseung echoed your moans back to you. “you like my dick? yeah? fuck.”

there was truly no way to respond, taking him fully and entirely in your mouth. you responded with more muffled sounds.

“i’m close, baby,” he breathed, “you’re taking me so well.”

you tried to look up at him as much as you could. hairs were in your face, blocking your vision, and the position made it tricky to lift your head. but from what you could see, his head was tilted back and mouth ever so slightly agape, leaving room for his moans to exit. his eyes were tightly held shut.

he pulls your head up by your hair and you take the opportunity to suck on his tip, and once he groans out “fuck,” hands shaking as he tightens his grip on your hair, he finishes in your mouth and you release his cock with a pop of your lips.

his legs shook as he caught his breath, dripped in sweat while he ran his fingers through your hair, letting go of you.

“was i okay?” you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“yeah,” he shakily spoke, panting, “fuck.”

heeseung pulled you towards him onto his lap, connecting your lips for a moment before pulling away and looking at you.

swiftly, his hands found themselves under your shirt, skin on yours while he worked his way up before taking it off entirely.

“what are you doing? you’re not tired?” you asked, trying to hide your smile as he took it upon himself to trace your curves and pepper kisses against your neck.

“no, i’m not,” he hummed, “so let me help you cum too”

you weren’t together, you never had spoken about your relationship. but the rest of the night touched and pleasured you as if you had been.

[superhaught]

I Mean It Different Than You Do

Pairing: Leighton x Reader

Warnings: surgery recovery, pure fluff

Word Count: 2500

Anonymous Asked: Hi! Could i please request a Leighton x fem reader that’s kind of based on the episode of slocg where Kimberly has her surgery and the Kansas guy takes care of her and she thinks hey only thinks of her like tiny Tim lol but instead it’s with Leighton x reader and leighton takes care of a sick reader and finds out that they have feelings for each other and it’s full of fluff! Sorry if this is confusing lol

Took inspiration from Reneé's song "I Do" as well.

Leighton and reader are best friends. Leighton helps reader through their wisdom tooth surgery.

You had found a friend in a very unlikely person. 

The first time you noticed her, she was trying to get drunk off of tiny disposable cups of wine while volunteering at the Women’s Center open mic night. 

The second time you noticed her, she was sitting down in the seat in front of you in your spring semester astronomy class. 

After working on a class project together, you discovered that she was actually a very sweet person underneath her designer clothes, perfectly straightened blonde hair, and chilly attitude. You became fast friends over that second semester at Essex and ended up spending a lot of time together outside of class. 

You watched as Leighton Murray grew more and more comfortable with her sexuality over time. As her friend, you supported her exploration of being out and were there for her throughout the ups and downs of her relationships with Alicia and Tatum. 

You invited her over to your off-campus apartment when she needed some time to decompress from Essex life. You watched movies together almost every weekend. You forced her to experience some natural New England beauty with brief hiking trips and lake days. 

She brought you to parties, took you along shopping and out for lunch and dinner, and earnestly tried to get you more involved in the dating scene. Leighton even set up a dating app profile for you once and you just giggled and said, “I don’t want to meet someone through an app!” 

She rolled her eyes at you, “I give up! Don’t you want to start seeing people?”

“I dunno,” you shrugged, “I feel like I have everything I want right now.”

“How are we so different?” the blonde mused, turning her attention to her own phone, which was constantly blowing up with messages. “Well, whatever. I’m not going to force you to date just for the sake of it, but I feel like you’re missing out.”

You didn’t say anything in response. You were reading in your bed and Leighton was laying next to you comfortably. You were holding a highlighter in between your teeth and occasionally shifting so that you could annotate in your book. You had noticed that Leighton had been glancing over at you a few times but you didn’t say anything about it. 

She flipped her phone to face you at some point, showing you an instagram post announcing an upcoming Theta party, “wanna go?”

You looked at the date of the party and frowned, shaking your head, “can’t. I’m sorry, Leight. I’m getting my wisdom teeth out that day.”

“Aw shit, really? That sucks…”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m going to need the weekend to recover. Actually, I was going to ask you if I could get your help with a ride to and from the dentist but you should go to the party so don’t worry about it.”

“No, I'd love to help! You think I’d rather be hanging out in the rancid Theta house than eating popsicles and binging Housewives with my best friend?”

You laughed, “Well I don’t know, would you rather hang out with me after getting wisdom tooth surgery than go to a party and potentially meet a hottie to spend the night with?”

Leighton smirked at you and shifted a little bit closer to you in the bed, leaning her head on your shoulder, “nah… lately, you’re the only hottie I’ve been wanting to spend my time with.”

“Yeah, right,” you snorted. 

“I’m being serious, dumbass.”

You both looked at each other for a moment. You were thrown off by her words, surely she didn’t mean…

“What are you reading, anyway?” Leighton asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Oh, nothing too exciting…” you go on to tell her about the assigned reading you were doing for your poetry class and she listened to you, letting the awkwardness of the earlier conversation fade away. 

Leighton hung out at your apartment, enjoying the ability to do her homework in the easy quiet with you rather than amidst all the chaos of the dorms and her suite. You ordered take out and watched a show on your laptop and then she reluctantly got ready to leave to go home for the night. She was packing up her tote bag and then you just blurted it out, “stay.”

She looked up at you, “huh?”

“You could just stay. You don’t have to go back to campus, if you don’t want to, I mean. Like, I’m not kicking you out.”

“Are you saying that I don’t have to go, or are you asking me to stay?”

“Are those two different things?”

She nodded, “yes.”

You took a deep breath, “then… I’m asking you to stay, I guess. I don’t want you to go. Sleep over.”

Leighton smiled and let go of her bag before joining you on the bed again, “okay, let’s watch another episode then.”

You ended up watching another two episodes of tv, eating microwave popcorn in bed and laughing over stupid things. 

Life was easier with Leighton. 

Your neck was hurting you. You blinked a few times then realized that you and Leighton had fallen asleep cuddled up with each other and left the laptop playing the show. You were now staring at the screen that read “Are you still watching?”

You shifted your body slightly, trying not to wake Leighton up. She moved and you thought you had woken her but she just sniffled slightly and hugged you a little tighter. You carefully got rid of your laptop and adjusted yourself in the bed so that you could lie down fully and Leighton came with you, sleeping on her side with her head tucked into the crook of your neck. 

You smiled and pulled the blankets over you both, then turned off your bedside lamp and fell back to sleep with Leighton in your arms. 

Leighton had woken up that following morning with a cute smile and said, “that was the best sleep.” The blonde pressed a quick peck of a kiss to your cheek before she got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. She didn’t bother closing the bathroom door all the way. You glanced over at her while she looked in the mirror and fixed her hair. 

You didn’t talk about any of it and you didn’t know what to think. Leighton was your best friend. She didn’t have feelings for you. She would’ve said something by now. This was just what it was like to have a close friend, you assumed. 

The rest of your week was fairly standard. Classes and homework sucked up your time, but you and Leighton had developed a routine that you always stuck to. You met at Sips for coffee on Monday afternoons. You ate dining hall lunch together on Tuesdays and Fridays. You walked to astro and sat together every Wednesday, and hung out at your apartment Wednesday nights before going to the observatory for your nighttime astronomy assignments. 

And in all that time, you never once discussed the cuddling, or the little kiss, so you convinced yourself that you were overthinking it and tried to let it go. 

When Friday came around, Leighton had shown up outside of your apartment building that morning with one of the fancier Ubers generously paid for by her father ready to take you to and from your surgery. 

You came outside wearing comfy clothes and she smiled and opened the car door for you.

She then got into the car on the other side and sat next to you, “I already went shopping and got everything I thought you might need this weekend to recover and I have a ton of low-energy-investment plans to make sure you don’t get bored. I’m going to stay with you for as long as you want me to, unless I drive you crazy, of course, but-”

“Leight, you didn’t have to do all of that…”

“It’s nothing! I want to take care of you.”

“You do? Why?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “cause I want to, why else?”

“I… I don’t deserve you, Leighton.”

“Oh, shut up. That’s not true,” she paused for a moment then said, “you’re my best friend and I love you.”

“I love you too…”

Leighton waited with you until you were taken back to be prepped and put to sleep for your wisdom teeth extraction. The last thing she said to you was, “I’ll have my camera ready for when you come out of the anesthesia!”

You stuck your tongue out at her angrily as you were whisked away and went unconscious while imagining seeing her face when you woke up again. 

You woke up in a different room, lying down flat on a recovery bed. You felt weird but not particularly bad.

Your vision came into focus slowly and the blonde was sitting in a chair beside the bed scrolling through her phone. You made a noise and she turned and looked at you, “hey there,” she said softly, sliding herself and the chair a little closer to you, “how are you feeling?”

Your mouth was all swollen and your head was all wrapped up with ice packs on either cheek. You mumbled, “fine.”

She smiled, “the dentist said everything went well so you should expect a pretty easy recovery.”

You nodded slowly then looked at her quizzically and mumbled, “do I look pretty?”

Leighton laughed, “do you look pretty? Well, I’ll admit that you’ve had better days but you’re still your gorgeous self, why?”

“I dunno… I thought maybe I wouldn’t be pretty anymore… all swollen…”

“You have nothing to worry about, trust me.”

“You’re so nice, Leighton… some people think you’re mean but you’re not mean you’re so nice… and you’re gay and I love that about you…” 

Leighton shook her head and laughed and just held your hand gently while you rested and came back to your senses over the next half hour or so. 

Leighton helped you to the car and let you lean against her on the drive back, then she helped you get comfy in your bed and made a little station nearby with drinks and foods that were safe for you to have, and pain meds if you needed them. 

She got into bed next to you and fired up Netflix before saying, “you can cuddle against me, whatever is comfy for you.” 

You nodded and said, “thank you, baby…” 

She raised an eyebrow at your word choice but didn’t say anything. You watched Netflix for a little while but you eventually dozed off against Leighton’s shoulder. You vaguely felt her playing with your hair and scratching your scalp lightly while you rested. You let out a pleased hum and cuddled against her even more closely. 

She gently woke you up later and quietly said, “I can hear your stomach growling, wanna eat something?” 

You took a second to process what she was saying but then you nodded and she grabbed a cup of applesauce for you. 

You took it happily and started to eat carefully, wincing slightly at the experience but feeling happy to have some food.

“You’re the best friend ever,” you began, “taking care of me like this… seeing me in such a pathetic state.” 

“I wouldn’t call you pathetic, not at all. You’re cute.” 

You groaned slightly.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurting?” 

You shook your head, “no, no… it’s nothing, nevermind.” 

She lightly poked you in the side and made you giggle, “come on, now. You can tell me anything. Is something wrong?” 

You were quiet for a minute, thinking. Overthinking. Playing your entire friendship with Leighton back in your head.

“I see those gears turning, what are you thinking about?” 

“I shouldn’t have asked you to take care of me,” you finally stated. 

Leighton looked concerned, “What? Why not? Am I bugging you?” 

“No!” You exclaimed, “no… you’re perfect… that’s the problem.” 

“I don’t understand…” 

“You’re so perfect. So perfect. And incredible. And beautiful. And I think I’m an idiot.” 

“An idiot? You’re not an idiot… I’m lost, babe, what is this about?” 

“I’m so stupid,” you sighed, “you’re never not going to see me as more than a friend are you?”

Leighton stared at you. 

“I don’t want to be cute,” you tried to explain, “I don’t want to be just cute to you… I want more… but I’ve gone and fucked it up…” 

Leighton started to understand and nodded slowly, “okay, first of all, I just want to state for the record that you have some pretty serious painkillers in your system right now, but with that being said, you haven’t fucked anything up… why would you think that?” 

You started to tear up, you couldn’t help it, “you’re never going to like me now… not after seeing me like this. I took too long trying to figure out my feelings…”

Leighton’s brows furrowed, “I like you plenty, this doesn’t change that… wait, what feelings?” 

“My feelings… for you… you’re my best friend, Leight… and I thought that was just how it was always going to be… but I think it’s more than that for me and I just didn’t realize and it’s too late…” 

Leighton took a deep breath in through her nose and spoke softly, “it’s not too late…” 

You looked up at her face and saw tears welling up in her eyes.

“It’s not too late,” she repeated, “not for you and me… I’ll wait for you forever. I’ve been waiting for you to be ready…” 

“Leighton… what?” 

“I love you, you incredible, oblivious sweetheart.” 

You were genuinely shocked, and your reaction was only amplified by how loopy you were feeling, “what?! You love me?! Like, love, love me?” 

Leighton laughed, “yes. I thought I was being obvious!” 

“You love me?!” You exclaimed again. 

Leighton wrapped her arms around you in a hug, “I love you. Are you trying to say that you have feelings for me, too?” 

“Yes! That’s what I’m trying to say… I love you, too, Leighton. I really love you. More than a friend. I want to kiss you and I want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want you to go on dates with anyone else. I want to cuddle with you every night. I want you.” 

Leighton’s smile was the biggest you’d ever seen it, “that’s what I want, too.”

You looked at her and then your face fell into a frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t kiss you!”

Leighton laughed lightly, “that’s okay. We’ll kiss when you’re all better, but for now…” she leaned in and gave you a kiss on your forehead, “there.”

You smiled and nuzzled against her, cuddling closely once again, and whispered, “I love you, Leighton.”

“I love you, too.”

[strang3lov3]

I don’t like to get super personal here on tumblr because it feels vulnerable and weird. Kind of like being sung happy birthday to, but not quite as awful. But we’re getting personal today. I’m sorry. I hate this too.

I know I make comments, but I don’t think I’ve ever vocalized just how heavy some things are weighing on me right now. So I’m telling you right now that they are very heavy, lol, and I’m not handling them well (referring to my classes, the election, other personal things I don’t need to get into here). I’ve been constantly amped up since probably September, I’ve had a ridiculous twitch in my left eye since then too which I’ve been ignoring. My wake up call came today when I fainted while voting. Given other things going on with myself, I know it was absolutely stress induced, or at the very least, influenced by stress. I don’t think any amount of stress causing me to faint is a good thing lol.

I wouldn’t say anything normally, but because I’m super active on Tumblr and you all know that and also care a lot about me (as evidenced by the way you check in and wished me happy birthdays and tell me all sorts of sweet things all the time), I’m letting you know that I’m gonna be pulling back from this until probably the end of the semester. Just limiting how much I use Tumblr and the times that I do use it. Deleting it from my phone too.

It’s not really that Tumblr itself or any of you are stressing me out. My blog is always a space I love to hang out at, thanks to all of you contributing to it in such a positive way. It’s more so that I’m not giving myself any amount of time to like, breathe or exist away from this app. I’m on it constantly. It’s what I check before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. Any downtime at all and I’m here. Too much of anything, even if it’s good, is unhealthy. I need to take time for me, just for decompressing and existing with Tumblr in the backseat for a while. I haven’t been doing that.

That said, there are times that life in front of me really sucks and it feels good to exist with the friends in my phone, so there will probably be days I do bebop around here quite a bit. And I’m gonna continue to write. I think cutting out the thing that makes me happiest would probably do me harm. But, writing updates will likely be slower. I wanna take the time to write for you and to write well, like you deserve and how I owe it to myself.

You’re always patient and understanding so I don’t need to ask for that from you guys. Thank you for being the best.

Anyway, that’s all. Love you ❤️

[redheadspark]

Hi! 💕

April prompt #1 with Azriel, please? That would be awesome. Either way, keep up your good work!

A/N - SO CUTE FOR AZRIEL! I loved writing this, and thanks for requesting this! I hope you like it!

Special

Summary - Azriel reassured you of how special you are to him

Warnings - Mostly fluff :)

“Here, rest your wings here,”

“I don’t need to—“

“I don’t wanna hear it.  They need a massage and you know it.  Come, lay on your belly here,”

Watching your mate grumble a bit was a bit comical, but he plopped down on the massive king-sized bed you two shared, the soft sheet under him instantly cooled him down and he sighed in relief as his wings were now plaint on both sides of him along the top of the comforter.  With the fire roaring in the fireplace in front of the bed and the window slightly open to let in the spring evening breeze, You knelt behind your mate to see his muscular and toned backside and his wings hanging off his sides with fatigue and stress laced in the membrane and bone structure.  

Grabbing some of the lotion from the nightstand that you would use for times like these, you rubbed some between your fingers and then sat along the back of his thick thighs, pushing your fingers along his lower back and hips since his past hung low to give you access and space to his tan skin.  Within a millisecond, Azriel moaned and hummed in approval, almost acting like a cat getting a head scratch.  He would act like a cat when he would be pampered by you, it’s been his way since you two met some years ago.  You both stumbled on each other really, fate or simply by chance.  Either way, you were grateful to have Azriel in your life, and you knew he felt the same way about you.

Being mates with Azriel was no easy task, not with his line of work and what he did for the High Lord and Lady of Night Court.  He would spy for them and seek out information, placing his neck on the line daily for the sake of his Court and for Velaris most of all.  But he was a good Spymaster, never breaking a sweat when it came to close calls or near-death experiences.  To him, it was just another day at the office, but it did take some time for you to get used to it. 

If you could, you would have him stay home and be safe where you knew danger would not come after him.  But that was more of a fever dream, you would have to wait for him to come home every time he was summoned to spy on another court or accompany his High Lord and Lady.  Azriel knew what that meant to you, he was used to being alone and not needing to have another being worry about him.  As his mate, Azriel had to make sure not only you were safe, but that he would come back to you in one piece simply to put you at ease.  

Your nights together were sacred.  He loved having time with you to decompress from his stressful day, just as you enjoyed being with Azriel after being at your store for hours on end.  You loved your job, running the store for centuries, and being able to finically take care of yourself.  But there was something about being with Azriel and spending time with him over dinner or with a glass of wine in hand. Azriel would tell you all about his mission, well, as much as he could tell you that wasn’t classified, and you were indulging him with all the gossip with your customers and patrons.  He thought of them as hilarious, and to hear him laugh made your heart soar since it was a beautiful and rare sound.  

You moved your palms along a particular spot, hearing him let out a gutted moan as you grinned and worked the knot out of his shoulder.  

“I don’t think you’ve been stretching when I told you to,” you lightly scolded him, hearing Azriel laugh as his eyes were still closed and his head against his pillow.

“I forgot today,” he reasoned with you as your fingers were now moving along his wings, being gentle along with the membrane and the thin flesh.  You feel Azriel hum in approval, a sigh of relief was on his lips as you were working along his wings and near his spine.  It was a sacred thing, to have someone touch an Illryian’s wings.  It was only meant for a significant other to do, Azriel was far too protective of his wings since it was part of himself.  Growing up the way he did, how he was treated and used in a sense, he swore not to have another touch his wings.

But you came along, and he would go to his knees for you because of how much you loved him.

“There, all better,” You hummed, about to get up from your spot along his backside when he moved so quickly, you almost flew off from the instant rush.  He was now on his back, sitting up with you in his lap and with his arms around you tightly, and a massive grin on his face.  Azriel even looked more relaxed and calm, the coolness of his hazel eyes and the tossed hair that shined from the fire.  

“Someone’s peppy now,” You teased, seeing him grin from ear to ear as his fingers were drumming along your lower back.  Even close enough to see the specs in his hazel eyes and the few freckles along his jawline and cheeks, you were still entranced with him with his rare beauty and unique look.  From the moment you two laid eyes with one another, you were a goner for him.  From how he cocked his head at you and how his smile beamed.  There would be no other like him, and you were okay with that.

You were beyond lucky he wanted you as much as you wanted him.

“How could I not be peppy with a mate like you?” He asked aloud, you both smiling at one another as he moved his hand up to trace away some of your hair from your eyes with his fingers, “I know I tell you all the time, but I’m damn lucky to have you in my life.  I get to come home to you and feel…”

You rose a brow at him, “Happy?”

He shook his head as he cupped your face with his palm “Safe.  You made me feel safe.  I haven’t felt safe in a long time, and now I do thanks to you,”  

You were starting to shake your head, you were never a huge fan of receiving words of affirmation since you were not used to it yourself, but Azriel leaned in and kissed you sweetly.  You hummed, the softness of his lips against yours and how you breathed in the pine aroma that was along his skin, it was a sense of peace for you.  For someone as strong or as dangerous as Azriel to kiss you so softly like you were a feather and hold you like you were made of glass, it both scared you and made you love him more.  

He pulled away, scanning your eyes and seeing him grinning and being so blissfully happy. 

“You are so special to me,” He reassured you, his voice so calm and yet so true as he kept you close in his arms, “I don’t think anyone else come as close as you do, and no one else will.”

You moved to trace his jawline with your fingers as you smiled and beamed, “I feel the same way about you too, Az.  I feel lucky to call you mine,”

“ ‘Lucky’ is not the word I would use,” Azriel hummed, leaning back into you again as he was breathing you in and kissing you soundly to distract you and make your head swim.  You felt like you were under a spell with him, which always happened with Azriel as he pulled away briefly to speak again, “I would use….honored….blessed….other words.  And I would rather use other ways to show you how I love you instead of my words,”

And with his stripping off your clothes and bringing in insane love and pleasure, you knew how special you felt.

The End.

April Prompt Session

[tightjeansjavi]

your mind, your needs

A/N: so I genuinely had one of the worst days at work today. It started off okay, and then quickly spiraled downwards and by mid-afternoon, I broke. I decided to write this Joel comfort piece as a self indulgence, but I also hope this brings comfort to anyone that has had a rough day/week. Enjoy 🤎

~word count: 2.5k~

Summary: after a shitty stressful day at work, your long-time boyfriend Joel Miller comforts you in the way he knows best.

Warnings: none, AU/no!outbreak, fluff, bantering, soft intimacy, established relationship, pet names, no use of y/n, reader has no physical descriptions, moodboard is just for aesthetics, no age gap, feelings, breaking down in the workplace, comfort, soft! Joel, comforting! Joel, Joel is just the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. (+18) minors dni!

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! reader

main masterlist masterlist

Your long-term boyfriend, Joel Miller, knew your needs as if they were on the back of his hand. He knew just by your body language alone if you needed space, or if you needed some form of comfort from him. He picked up on all your little quirks. Your habits, both good and bad. The things you loved, and the things you hated, and everything in-between. He knew that when you’d have a good day at work you’d hang your keys and coat up in their designated spot on the hooks against the wall in the main entryway. Your shoes would be neatly tucked away, and there would always be a candle burning on the kitchen counter. On your rough days, your keys and purse would be thrown on the table in the hallway. Your shoes would be kicked off on the doormat, and there would be no candle burning.

Your morning started off as it normally would but by lunch time? You were fed up and on the verge of breaking down into tears. Nothing was going right. Your emails were blowing up and it just felt like you could inevitably no longer keep up with the high demand that was tossed on your plate. Normally you’d go out to lunch with coworkers, but today you isolated yourself in your car. You picked a shady spot under a nearby tree in the parking lot and parked your car. It was a beautiful day and it made you feel guilty that you chose to sit in your car instead of socializing with your coworkers. The tears were on-coming as you dialed Joel’s number. The only time that you’d call Joel on your lunch break was if you were having a bad day, or if you were going to be home late.

“Hey darlin.’ How's my pretty girl doin?’ You enjoyin’ the nice weather we’ve been havin?’” His butter-smooth Texas twang was an instant comfort to your present overwhelmed state of mind.

“Hey, baby. Could be better.” You murmured into the receiver. You could picture Joel’s furrow between his brows, and the soft pout playing on his lips from your answer.

“Somethin’ wrong honeybun? Y’havin’ a rough day?..” He softly asked as he leaned back against the side of his truck.

“I just feel like I can’t fucking do anything right today Joel. I’m sitting in my car, alone, because I just can’t take it right now. I feel like I'm about to combust.” You spoke exasperatedly as you slumped back into the driver's seat.

“Sweet girl, I'm sure that ain’t true. Jus’ havin’ a rough day? You wanna talk about it, or do ya need some space? Y’know I'm always here to listen.” He softly reassured you.

“Can we..talk when you get home later? I just wanted to briefly try and decompress from the situation. What time are you off?”

“Course we can talk at home, honey. I should be home a little after five..anythin’ special you want for dinner?”

“Tacos? From that place that we really like?..”

“Mm. Those are pretty good. I’ll pick ‘em up on my way home, okay sweet girl? Jus’ try’n power through the rest of your day. I know it's tough, but it’ll be alright.” He wished that he was there with you right now just so he could give you a well-deserved hug and soft kiss on the forehead.

“Okay. Thank you baby. I’ll try my best to power through. I’ll see you at home, and I love you.”

“‘Atta girl. I believe in ya. See you at home, and I love you too.”

Your day only seemed to plummet even further than it did before lunch. You couldn’t get a grasp on the emails, five people were asking you to do multiple tasks at once. Your phone was ringing non-stop, and you finally broke. You retreated to the bathroom, hoping to god that none of the other office ladies were in there. Much to your relief, you were alone. Your tears didn’t fall right away. You tried to hold them at bay as you practiced your breathing exercises that Joel generously taught you. It wasn’t working and it felt like the already cramped bathroom stall was closing in on you. When your tears finally broke past your waterline, you finally let all of your pent up emotion out.

The rest of your afternoon went by in a blur, and when you were finally back in your car after a long day, you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply in through your nose with your eyes softly closed and exhaled through your mouth. The day was over, and you could finally go home.

When Joel had arrived home later that evening, a little after five, he wasn’t surprised to find your shoes left untidy on the doormat. Your keys and purse were thrown haphazardly on the table in the hall, and there was no familiar scent of one of your many candles. The home you shared together was cozy and welcoming. Photographs of you together and your friends and family could be found in every room. When you first agreed to move in together three years ago, you had a conjoined idea to have separate rooms. At first your friends thought it was a bit odd that you and Joel weren’t sleeping together every night, but it actually was beneficial to your relationship. You were able to have your own space to wind down in, and so was Joel. The best part? On the nights you did sleep together, it was like you were having a sleepover.

“Hey honey? I’m home darlin’, and I come bearing tacos.” He set the bag of takeout on the counter before he padded down the hall. He knew that if your bedroom door was closed this meant that you were needing space. He respected this of course and he always would knock so that you could continue to have your privacy.

You could hear his footsteps padding down the hall and coming to a halt outside your door. His knuckles gently thrummed against the wood three times. “Darlin?’ S’okay if I come in? Or do you still wanna be alone? Tacos are on the counter if you're hungry.” His head was bowed downwards as he let out a soft sigh.

You were completely burrowed and cocooned under the blankets. You reached your arm up and wiped your tear stained cheeks on the sleeve of Joel’s hoodie that you were wearing. The material was worn down but his scent continued to linger.

“You can come in, Joel.” Your tone was soft and muffled through the blanket. Despite this, Joel was able to hear it and he gave you a few seconds to change your mind before he was grasping the door handle and gently pushing the door open. You felt the unoccupied side of the bed slowly dip and crease from the weight of Joel’s body sinking down on the comforter.

“Y’know, if ya keep stealin’ my hoodies like this, I ain’t gonna have much to wear anymore, my pretty baby.” He murmured with a soft amusing chuckle.

“Shuddup.” You rolled over onto your side and gently swatted at his arm with your cheek squished into the pillow.

“There she is. There’s my pretty girl.” He had a soft smile gracing his face to match the softness in his eyes as he looked over at you.

“Even when my cheeks are all puffy and my eyes are all red from crying? I’m still your pretty girl?” You softly teased as you reached for his hand.

“That’s when I think you’re the prettiest. How long have ya been cooped up in here?” He gently grasped your hand in his own and interlocked your fingers through his.

“Oh, you hush. Don’t make me fall in love with you even more.” You hummed as you scooted closer to him. You were seeking his comfort, and he gladly indulged in your wishes. “I’ve been here since I got home. I seriously thought the day was never going to end Joel.” You let out a huff as you nuzzled your cheek into his shoulder as his free arm gently looped around your waist and tugged you in close.

“Baby, i’m just speakin’ the truth. You wanna talk ‘bout your day? You sounded real upset earlier..I was thinkin’ about you for the rest of my shift. I know you’ve been stressed at work lately, but is there anythin’ I can be doin’ to alleviate that stress for you?” His lips were gently pressed to your forehead and he gently squeezed your hand that was still presently wrapped around his.

“It just felt like the work was never ending, and everytime I tried to catch up, more work was thrown at me and I guess I just broke after lunch. I was working on emails and then these last minute orders came in and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went to the bathroom to try and calm my nerves, but I broke down into tears instead. I just feel like no matter what I do, it isn’t good enough. My best isn’t my best, and there's more that I could be doing. I just feel like I failed as an employee today. Honey, all I need you to do is keep holding me and sweet talking me up. You just being here and listening to me is all the comfort I truly need.”

Joel let your words sink in as he thought deeply over what his response would be. “Baby, y’know it’s perfectly okay to feel like you can’t get all the work done, right? You don’t gotta push yourself to that breakin’ point. At the end of the day, it’s just a job, and you’re one person. I understand it can be overwhelmin’ at times, and y’know what? I’m extremely proud of you letting it out in a healthy way instead of jus’ bottlin’ that shit up. Your body was lettin’ y’know that it needed to release all that pent up frustration. I also want ya to know that you are good enough. You're a good employee who cares about gettin’ the work done, but ya need to be kinder to yourself darlin.’” Joel was always honest with you; it was one of the main reasons why it was so easy to fall in love with him. He never lied, and even when his own emotions were tough to sift through, he’d always be honest on how he was feeling.

“I know it’s okay if I don’t get everything done, and sometimes I’m okay with it. Sometimes I’m not because I feel like if I don’t do it, who will? If I don’t get all the emails taken care of, who’s going to do it in my place? I can only rely on my coworkers to a certain point Joel. You’re right. I do need to be kinder to myself, especially in the workplace. It’s a real struggle for me, and I’m working on changing that view on myself.”

“You jus’ gotta trust that you’re doin’ a good job. As long as you do your best, no one's gonna fault ya for that. You’re only human. Your brain only has a limited capacity to handle a certain amount of stress. That ain’t on you honey. Jus’ when you start feelin’ overwhelmed, jus’ remember that you can step away and go for a walk, or take a breather. Hell, you can call me whenever you want. I’ll always be there to talk you through it. I’m always gonna be here to listen and support you.”

You gently let go of his hand just so you could fully wrap yourself around him like a koala. Your legs tangled through his as you draped your arms around his neck with your fingers lightly toying with soft hairs at the nape of his neck. “How do you always say the right thing everytime? You just know exactly what it is that I need to hear.”

“Can’t reveal my secrets to ya baby. I’m just real good at readin’ ya. What can I say? I’m a natural.” He chuckled as his other arm came to rest along your lower back with his fingers gently splayed under the fabric of his hoodie that you were wearing. He was rubbing soothing circles into your skin as a comforting gesture. “I jus’ don’t like seein’ my girl upset. Breaks this poor man’s heart. Jus’ wanna be there for ya in any way that I can.”

“You are indeed a natural, Joel.” You pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, giggling softly when he scrunched his nose up and playfully wiggled his eyebrows at you like the goof that he was. “I appreciate you giving me my space, and then being here to comfort me. I know I say this all the time, but I truly appreciate it.”

“‘Course, baby. Y’do the same for me. It’s mutual, and it makes me feel good inside that I can bring ya a sense of comfort even on your toughest days.” He softly murmured.

“Can we please go and eat tacos now and then watch a movie or something?” Your lashes fluttered as you looked up at him from where your cheek was resting against the crook of his shoulder.

“Baby, you don’t gotta ask me twice. Jus’ as long as you keep those toesicles away from me. Deal?”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at his remark about your apparently frigid feet. You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past your lips as you slowly shook your head, “Joel, my feet are not that cold. You’re just being a big baby about it.”

“Nuh-uh. Those toes? They’re literal icicles. Put some socks on ‘em.” He playfully teased as he stole a quick kiss on your lips.

“You’re the worst.”

“Ah, but ya love me baby. You love me sooo much.” He singsonged as he coaxed you to sit up in his arms.

“Yeah, I do love you quite a lot. You might actually be my favorite person in the entire world.”

“Oh god, you’re evil. G’nna make me cry now. Cats out of the bag, darlin.’ Cus’ you’re my favorite person in the entire goddamn world too.”

“Disgusting.” You teased and he immediately went in to tickle you. Your joined laughter echoed through your bedroom. The sound of love, understanding, and feeling.

For the rest of the evening, you and Joel spent it on the couch eating your tacos and watching whatever movie you could find that would lift your spirits. Your sock-clad feet rested comfortably along his lap as he gently massaged your calves. He was focused on the colorful screen while you were focused on his jaw-dropping stunning side profile. Who the hell allowed this man to not only be beautiful on the outside, but also within. You loved that man with your everything, and he loved you just the same.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika

[artificialbreezy]

Hey let's imagine Jolly chasing you down with a mask on and holding a knife to you while he fucks you hard and makes you cry(cause the crying turns him on)

i’ll never know peace with you, god fucking dammit. sorry i switched up a teeny tiny bit i got so mf carried away.

This blurb may contain content that is unsettling to some, please continue with caution. your mental health matters.

TW: a game of cat and mouse (he chases her), masks, crying, mean!jolly, knife play, a teeny tiny bit of blood, no actual p in v, mentions of breeding

it’s his favorite game. before he leaves for tour he sends you up the cabin, just so you can relax and decompress and he’ll join you when he gets home. he’ll go straight there from the airport.

and you never hear his car pull up, you’re too invested in the book you’re reading when the lights just go out. the panic is only a little at the moment, you’ll go outside, down by the tree line and check the box. quick and easy fix right? wrong.

something in your gut told you not to go down there, stay right in that cabin. go find your phone and call Jolly. he should’ve landed by now. you decided against your better judgement you were fine, nothing bad has ever happened here before.

when you hear the snaps of the branches, and the breathing of someone else behind you that’s when the panic fully set in. no shoes, no phone, just run.

you’d never been in the woods before, Jolly always told you there was no need. he’d take you eventually. you didn’t know where you were going and how you ended up thinking that the woods was the place to hide but fuck it.

seeing what you thought to be a tree, you ran off to the side a little hoping you could catch your breath before you went any further.

what did i get myself into? Jolly’s gonna get home and see my car and not me in the cabin, my phones there and i’m not. oh my god, he’s gonna find me dead. thoughts were running rapid in your brain. this can’t be real. crouching down next to the tree trunk, you set your hand out to balance yourself to met with a shoe, and a dark chuckle.

you didn’t have time to scream before his hand was over your mouth. tears falling at a rapid pace, panic flooding your veins. all you could do was cry.

“missed you a lot, can’t believe you ran from me, pet.” voice was muffled by whatever was covering his face. “promise i won’t hurt you too bad, just wanna play a little game.”

“i’ll give you a head start. i catch you, i ruin you.” his voice was just above a whisper. “run, little lamb.”

my feet were moving faster than my brain. just go. get inside. hide.

i hit the cement outside the front door, a wave of safety rushed over me. taking a breath, i reached for the door knob when a hand much larger than mine pushed itself against the door. “caught you.”

no sounds came out of my mouth, just freezing in time. unable to process fully what was happening, why i was excited, what was gonna happen to me, why was he chasing me?

he stepped forward, placing his hands against my hips. “remember the safe word?” he spoke. “yes,”

that’s all he needed. he picked up, putting half my body over his shoulder. his one hand opening the door, the other creeping up the back of my thigh.

Jolly didn’t have to walk far since the cabin was pretty small. i was falling onto the bed before i had a moment to think. “Jolly, lights”

“no. you trust me yeah?” you nodded up at him. “then you don’t get to see. you’ll feel what i give you, and you’ll say thank you. read that little book i over heard you talking about. does all that dirty, fucked up stuff turn your little brain into mush?”

his hand disappeared from my body. listening to the sound of rustling next the bed. “been thinking about all that gross, mean things huh?” there was a piece of cold metal against my ankle, slowly dragging it closer to my center.

he pressed the point into the flesh of my thigh harder, a sharp pain shooting up your leg. “pain is pleasure, pet. always remember that.” the metal no longer cold, and unwelcoming.

“thank you, Jolly.” breathless words leaving my lips.

he chuckled, dragging the blade up the front of my thighs. stopping once he reached the lace of my panties. “think if i were to press this against your cunt, you make it shine?” the back of the blade worked its way against the clothed part of my center. pushing against the damp spot that’s been building since i felt his breath at the tree line.

“would you look at that? think you really are pathetic. this turning you on that much? don’t even need to get you prepped huh? could just slip right in there. listen to the sweet whine that you make when i stretch out your cunt after a while.”

rolling my hips against the blade, a whine rolling out of my throat. his big hand pressed firmly on my lower stomach, pushing me back against the bed. “stay. still.” he grumbled.

his fingers pushed the lace away from my slit, soft touch against my skin. “mmm, knew you’d be ready. you’re fucking soaked, already making such a mess.” finger slowly slipping into my hole, “she’s just sucking me in, pet. think she needs more? bet you do, greedy fucking cunt.” his other hand pressing a smack against my thigh.

“feel you squeezing, you close already? fucking pathetic.” his finger curled slightly, lips pressing soft kisses against my mound. “she just needs to be filled up, huh? needs to have my cum leaking out of her just for me to push right back in, can’t waste any of it. wanna see you nice and round. bet you’d like that, walking around showing everyone who you belong to.”

“fucking, shit. Jolly, please.” begging the man to let you have it.

“yeah, come on. let me feel you, baby. ohh, atta girl. there is she.”

his fingers stilled, head laying against my leg. “did so good, thank you for trusting me.”

“always, love you tons.”

i felt his cheeks move, telling me he was smiling.

“i love you too, let’s get this light on and you cleaned up.”

[lethalchiralium]

Johnny was back in the morning, carrying a pack of furs and a bundle of meat, a smile on his face as soon as he saw his smiling little baby. You kissed her hair as he set down his bounty, he instantly scooped up his daughter who cooed at the sight of her dad.

“How was Missoula?” You asked as you pulled your shawl tighter around your torso.

“Damn borin’, missed ye ‘n the big one, an’ of course, my babe.” He kissed Claire’s forehead, she squealed in response. “Price sold a lot.”

You gently pat his back, ushering him inside. “S’good. Simon’ll be home before sundown.” You grabbed his furs and meat, carrying it inside and kicking the door closed with your boot. Johnny instantly found himself on the couch, gently rubbing the baby’s back.

“Johnny.” You moved back into the kitchen, taking a drink out of your cup.

“Yes, luv?”

“Are you sure you don’t hear the noises at night?”

He paused, giving you a unfazed look. “Here? No, I told ye ya just need more sleep.”

You set down your cup full of water, staring at your husband. “You try being the only food your baby wants. Shit’s hard.” You scratched your jaw a little, watching Claire smack her dad’s face. “I’m just worried. What if something’s really out there? What if we’re not actually safe here?”

“I’ll check th’ traps wance ah get some Claire time, a’richt?” He kissed Claire’s face again, the girl screeched with excitement. Worry was still nestled deep in your belly, your hand absentmindedly rubbed your collarbone to give yourself some ease. Maybe you were overthinking it. Maybe it is just the wind, or a squirrel or something.

But you knew it in your gut. Your gut was almost never wrong. You prayed it was wrong.

“Johnny, I think-“

The front door slammed into the wall, scaring all three of you but you were the first to snap into action, seeing a bloody faced Simon clutching his head. Claire began to screech from being startled, you darted towards your husband as he stumbled into the house with Price holding him up by the back of his shirt.

“Simon! Simon, baby, what happened?” Your hand peeled Simon’s hand from his head, walking backwards as Price pushed him into the house. Blood poured from his head and you felt your heart rate speed up in record time.

“Fuckin’ horse.” He mumbled, you looked at the gash on his hairline and the blurry look in his eyes. You haven’t seen him this dazed since he got hit over the head with a rifle years and years ago. You examined the cut as you led him to the couch, taking his bloody hand and helping him sit down. He decompressed into it immediately, chest and legs finally settling like he had worked for a thousand years straight.

You looked at Price, who had a few bloody scuffs on his arm. “What happened?”

“Horse bucked him off without warnin’ into a fence post.” He said, you nodded before ducking the few feet into your kitchen - your bandages and wet cloths were in hand in moments. You looked at your friend, watching his worried look turn to steeled as he met your gaze. “Grab my whiskey, would you?”

“Not m’bourbon.” Simon murmured from his place, you glanced into your bedroom to see the concerned face of Johnny, holding a crying Claire. You gave him a little nod before returning to Simon’s side, instantly gently wiping away the crusted and dripping blood. “S’cold, baby.”

“I know.” You whispered. “Just wanna clean you up before I bandage you.”

“M’fine. Don’t know why he even brought me here, just needed a minute to get up.”

Price handed you the whiskey bottle and a clean rag. “You were down for a good while.”

Your head whipped up to look at him. “And why didn’t you come get me?”

“He’s fine now.” He shrugged, gesturing towards your husband. “He’s talking and awake.”

“Fuckin’ men.” You grumbled, dropping the cold rag onto Simon’s lap before opening the bottle of whiskey. You took a swig, of course, and then poured some onto a new rag. You began to disinfect the wound, to which Simon squirmed, panting as he whined in pain. “Stay still-“

“Baby, it hurts-“

“I know it does, gotta get it cleaned and bandaged. M’almost done.” Your fingers were nimble as you began to bandage his wound, wrapping the long cloth around his thick head tightly. You never missed the way Simon looked at you, so comfortable in your presence. You tied it off after ripping it off near the end, tossing the excess onto the couch before handing him the whiskey.

He graciously took it, took a generous swig before handing it back to you. “How’d I look, doc?” He smirked, pink lips chapped but his smile still full of adoration.

“You’re fine.” Your hand settled on his thigh, gently rubbing it. “You’re not gonna be happy with what I have to say, though.”

“I’m still gonna work the horses, maybe just in a few days.”

“No more sex until that hit is healed.”

He groaned, disappointment tangled in his throat. “But-“

“I’m leavin’.” Price declared, sensing you were about to air some intimate details, you didn’t even acknowledge his departure.

“There’s three of us. You two bump heads, me and you bump heads. I like my daughter having both of her fathers.”

“Head hits are nothing.”

Your eyes flickered down to his eyes, watching them dart away from your stare. “‘Til they’re something.”

His glare had moved towards the bedroom door, Claire still crying in the room. He grunted a little, annoyed as he looked back to you. “Bring her here.”

“You’re funny.”

“Not joking.”

“Simon, you’re still bloody.” You pointed towards his hand, his shirt, the side of his cheek.

He gave you a piercing stare, voice low. “She knows I’m here. If she hasn’t stopped her cryin’ yet, she’s not going to. Give her to me.”

You stared back at your husband, hand rubbing on his thigh before you plucked the bottle of whiskey from his grasp. You turned towards the bedroom, calling for Johnny. He instantly appeared, holding a clearly upset and wiggling baby. Her little head shaking back and forth, tears and snot running down her chunky face as she looked at you.

Johnny’s eyebrows furrowed, moving Claire up his chest a little. “Everything a’right?”

“He wants her.” You nodded towards Simon.

Johnny chuckled dryly. “Like that? Nae.” Both of you looked down to Claire, whose hands were out in the direction of Simon, grabbing the air towards him as she cried. “…Fine. If ye pass out and drop ‘er-“

Simon groaned, one hand held out to grab Claire. “I’m not going to drop her.” Johnny gave him a stern look, his other hand held out. “I’m on the fuckin’ couch. She’s not gonna get away from me that easy.” Johnny handed her to him, Simon instantly smiled as her little hands gripped onto his sleeves. “Are you, darling?” She sniffled, still whining and crying, yet Simon holding her seemed to calm her to an extent. He brought her head to his lips, kissing her soft skin. “You love your Papa, don’t you?”

[lynzishell]

The Past 💛 Atlas

By the time I arrive at the bar, it’s after five. Late enough that everyone in our group will already be settled in, but early enough that it won’t be too crowded otherwise.

This place is nice, all exposed brick and greenery. That coupled with the dim lighting and decent music selection playing overhead lends itself to a cozy place to decompress after a busy day. That is, unless you’re sitting at a table with a dozen other people who are having multiple conversations at once, which is why I usually avoid these gatherings.

I scan the room and spot two tables full of our co-workers. Some of them have invited along a friend or significant other, making the group even larger than usual. Asher is sitting at the far end, leaning forward as Evan shows him something on their phone, both of them laughing. I don’t see an empty chair at either table, but that’s just fine by me. I’d rather sit at the small high-top table in the far corner.

Finally, I take a deep breath and head toward the bar.

I’m just reaching for my wallet to pay for my beer when Asher steps in front of me to order a drink. He tells the bartender to put both on his tab and then spins around to face me, “Hi.”

“Hi. Thank you.”

 “You’re welcome. Y’know, I was starting to wonder if you were gonna show up.”

“Yeah, sorry, I got stuck at work, but I’m here now.”

“I’m glad,” he says with a smile before turning to pick up our drinks, “Do you wanna sit down?”

“Sure.” I lead the way, walking past our group of co-workers toward the empty table I'd spotted in the far corner.

Part of me wonders if he’ll stop and sit with everyone else, but he doesn’t. He follows me without hesitation and hops onto the stool next to me when I sit down. As I lift my feet onto the footrest, our knees touch under the table, sending a current of electricity up my leg all the way to the center of my chest. I grin to myself as I reach to take a sip of my beer, noticing then that Asher’s drink looks identical to my own. I point to it, “Seriously? You give me shit, and you’re drinking an IPA?”

“It’s the first time I’ve had one,” he explains, “I wanted to try it, see what all the fuss is about.”

“And?”

He takes a sip and sets his glass back down with a shudder, “Ugh, it’s disgusting.”

 “Ah c’mon, it’s not that bad,” I say with a laugh as I take a drink.

He watches me with a pained expression, “It’s fucking rancid.”

Rolling my eyes, I reach over and take his glass, “Give me that. I’ll get you another drink. What do you want?”

“Oh god, thank you. A whiskey sour, please.”

“Coming right up.”

As I walk to the bar, I can feel Asher watching me from behind. Or am I imagining it? Probably just wishful thinking. I don’t dare to glance back to see. I’m not sure which would be worse: the embarrassment I’d feel if he was watching, or the disappointment I’d feel if he wasn’t. Better to just keep my eyes forward and my mind on the task at hand.

Prev // Next

[nathandrakeisabottom]

Headcannons about them with an anxious SO? Love your stuff x

Thank you, friend! Now, in full canonical honesty, I don’t believe that either Nathan or Sam would be particularly good at dealing with their deeper anxiety, let alone someone else’s, let alone someone else’s who they loved dearly and would only be afraid to make it worse (that many crumbling bridges and a guy’s gotta if consider his only superpower is the ability to destroy everything he touches) for most of their young lives. 

However, I do believe that post-UC4 (perhaps a little earlier for Nathan), and a good dose of necessary therapy (paid for in pirate coins, of course)--- they’d be more than willing to finally take on the challenge. 

For themselves, and for the person they love more than anything.

Drakes with an Anxious S/O Headcanons

Nathan:

In his younger days, the prince of the awkward smile and half-hearted clap on the back. A pulley doll whose only catchphrases were “Man, that’s hard”, “Yeah. Yeesh.”, and “Soooo, I guess this would be a bad time for a joke, huh?”. Scurries to the bathroom as soon as they’re not in tears anymore, and stays there for as long as it takes to stop hearing the residual sobs.

However, his late 30s and 40s bring him a much healthier perspective (and therapy— Jesus, finally) and being the smarty pants he is, he passes on no opportunity to put his new skills and knowledge to use.

That playfulness and desire to find the lightness in even the hardest situations never leaves him at any age, though.

A panic attack? “‘Is something… wrong with you’? You realize you’re talking to the guy who accidentally destroys ancient temples for a living, as an archaeologist? And I still consider myself a not so bad guy. So in my eyes, you’re basically a lesser known Mesopotamian god.”

Got a bad grade? “A D in Psychometrics? I don’t know, sounds like they don’t know anything about math if they’re using a letter to grade you. Maybe they should go get their teaching certificates checked. Hey, how ‘bout I just draw you a PhD myself? You know I have an eye for art.” 

Dealing with shitty parents? Landlord? Roommates? Exes who won’t leave you the fuck alone? “What? That buffoon? Guy who can’t even spell their own name right? That asshole isn’t worth a thought of a thought of a thought in your head. Pretty sure they haven’t had a thought in their own head since 1996.”

As soon as the first wide-toothed smile is won, he’s leaning into his partner with a secretive smirk: “Ya wanna get the hell out of here?” 

Because distractions always helped him before. 

Will act especially gentlemanly, and theatrically play it up, while taking their partner for a frozen yogurt, antique shop, Target trip, public park, laser tag (yes, really) decompress. Bows when he opens the car door for them. Pays for everything. Calls them ‘your majesty’ for the entirety of the excursion.

All he wants is to get them to smile. And he’s not stopping until he sees it. 

When the night creeps in and his S/O starts to lose steam, Nathan’s own worry grows more obvious, though he tries his best to keep it to himself. 

Watches them with wide eyes. Gives them space, but still asks every few minutes if they need a cup of water. No? Tea? Arnold Palmer? Popsicle? Massage? Hot Pocket? Sexy pillow fight? However many it takes to make his partner laugh again. But he fully means every offer he gives.

Says nothing as he helps them undress and into their PJs. Touches are tender and intimate, gently rubs their shoulders and neck. Never too hard, never too direct. Plays the friendly ghost and lets their partner take the lead, but never, ever just sits around to watch.

Makes them a beverage of some sort, even if they say no. Hot lemonade with honey is his personal homecure. Says yellow is a happy color, so it must be good for you.

And right before they turn the lights out, Nate timidly offers— with a shy, trying chuckle— if they want him to read them a bedtime story. 

Somehow shocked every time they say yes. Mumbles something self-derogatory about himself (“Ya know, not the best actor, but—” “Personally I think I have the voice of a dying goose, but—”) before sitting on the nearest surface and cracking open a book.

If he’s still feeling a little awkward, will uneasily ask if they wanna hear what he’s been reading lately, and will do so if asked— but really wants to read the pirate storybooks his mother read to him and Sam when they were kids.

It always made him feel better when the world felt too big, too scary, too cruel. 

So he wants to share it with the person he loves. 

He wants to share everything with the person he loves.

And without even asking, goes to the medicine cabinet and brings them a tablet of whatever they need when the anxiety gets especially bad, and says “I know, it’s scary. But we’ve been through scary before, right?” with a kiss on the cheek as they swallow it down with a sip of lemonade.

Lingers, eyes down, and vaguely nods to nobody as he stands and walks to the door.

“Want me… uh, want me to keep reading to you?” But he offers before he can even get past the door frame. 

“Do you want me to want you to keep reading to me?” 

And the last thing he wants to see is his love, alone. The idea of them crying beneath the covers because they were too afraid to burden him with it, too afraid to be seen. Everything he felt he had to do when he was 6 and his mother “passed”, age 9, 10, 11, 12 after a black eye, the words that his brain told him wrong: spoken aloud by the playground bullies he feared he’d never be stronger than. 

But he knew they were wrong. The bullies were wrong. The ones in his brain. The ones in theirs.

“Yes.” He replies without missing a beat. 

And he makes sure to hold their hand in his free one until the second they fall asleep… and a few hours after, just to be safe.

The next morning they fucking better expect breakfast in bed— and he maybe, just maybe, might even be willing to spring for McDonald’s, if that’s what they want. As long as they promise to eat actual fruit after. And hell, maybe even a vegetable or two when he makes dinner that night. Did you know that eating right and exercise are actually primary solutions to poor mental health—? That’s what Dr. Dorian said— No, potatoes don’t count as a vegetable— no, especially not if it’s fried— NO, FRENCH FRIES DON’T COUNT, BABY—

Sam:

Sam takes a bit longer to warm up to discussing anxiety than Nathan does, mostly due to struggling so deeply with it on his own. It’s not like prisoners (or Shoreline guards) made the most comforting companions. 

The better he could keep secrets, the less he could reveal, the safer he’d be.

So it makes sense that it’s both his greatest strength and weakness when it comes to emotionally turbulent times. 

In his younger, more avoidant years, he’d be the first to leave the room, leave the building, hell, sometimes even leave the city after a particularly heavy cry or confrontation with his then-partner. Only to come back the next morning and act like nothing ever happened. 

But now, he doesn’t run. After prison, after Rafe, after Madagascar, all he wants is to be allowed to stay. To be wanted to stay by someone who loves him. 

Is happiest to just sit with you in the silence. His biggest skill is his ability to weather the storm. And whether you need to scream bloody murder, or need to sit and decompress and just fucking feel, but can’t do it alone, Sam’s there. Listening. 

Once you’re done talking, he takes one last, long drag of his cigarette, stubs it out onto the pavement, and asks simply: “So do you want solutions… or something else, sweet’art?” 

You can see in his eyes— darting less than solid, certain against your own— that he really means it, in every way that he was too afraid to when he was younger.

The wonderful and terrifying thing about having anxiety while Sam is there is that it’s a vulnerable experience for the both of you. He’s learning, discovering, trying right along with you. And he may not be able to lift you up so easily, but he’ll be able to sink into the dark places with you, and not be afraid to see what’s down there. 

And maybe seeing someone he loves so deeply, sees as so beautiful, so smart, so kind, so wonderful, so absolutely perfect to him feel the same ways he does about himself… maybe it makes him think that he’s not as terrible as his brain tells him, either. 

Helps you take action by letting himself (finally) not be the smart one: “When ya… get like this, what do you usually do first, sweet’art? Paint me a pit’chure.” Gives you complete control, and smiles softly when you wipe your tears and the logical, the archaeological mind awakens. Mimics unraveling an ancient map when you begin to explain, and you inadvertently hiccup out a laugh. 

At times, it’ll feel like he’s trying to run again, but when he stands up and walks across the room— he always returns. This time with your favorite of his jackets, the denim one that smells like him even though he just cleaned it, and drapes it protectively over your shoulders. Clasps his palm at the back of your neck and rubs out the knot he always finds there. Smiles toothy and wide when your words are broken up by sighs of relief. Only to be filled once again with silence, gazes meeting sweet and safe. 

“Remember Indonesia?” He offers with a smirk, despite your furrowed brow.

“I guess? What about—?” 

“I read the runes’ instructions and ran us in circles all around Bali, only to reread the transcript and realized I got three letters completely wrong. J—V—A. Java. It was goddamn Java the entire time.” 

“Your point being?” 

He smiles and shrugs. Trying. Maybe he’s wrong, a foreigner in some ancient, uncertain land, but he tries.

“Sometimes our brains are just wrong.” He tries for you. “That’s all.”

You sniffle, and he leans in to press a prickly kiss to your cheek. His jacket is still warm from the dryer, wafting with the residual sting of cigarette, Old Spice Captain, cheap mouthwash, even cheaper aftershave, and something else completely unnameable. 

And maybe some others would think the scent appalling, but it’s the strangeness, the specificity, and yes, the stank— everything that makes Sam him— that makes you love it. Love him. The depth. The difference. 

The pain, and what he chose to do with it. 

Another kiss, this time down your neck. This time, the sigh of relief is his own.

What he chose to change it into. 

“So… any chance sex therapy might be a thing?” He asks grinningly.

“Why don’t we find out, ‘sweet’art’?”

[elli3luvs]

p.u.n.k girl!!

summary: the times you have while dating ellie

wc: 1.1k

a/n: based off the amazing song "p.u.n.k girl" by heavenly! i recommend it a lot!!

p is for the painful way she makes me feel some days.

fighting with ellie wasn't all that common. the two of you were exceptionally good at communicating, opting to talk through problems before going into a full-fledged fight. but there were just some days when ellie woke up with a short fuse. she tried to distance herself during those days, feeling awful for even doing that, but today you wouldn't let her have time to herself to decompress.

she had snapped at you after you continued to be clingy. ellie has asked you to give her just a tiny bit of space. you clambered off of her arm and she felt her body relax. this was all she wanted. when she felt the air suddenly shift, though, that's when she knew she completely fucked up. her eyes trailed over to yours, ready to apologize for her outburst, when she noticed the tears springing to your eyes.

 ellie hated when you cried. it made her feel like a complete and total bitch. when your bottom lip started wobbling she knew she had to get over her mood to comfort you no matter what.

you would push her but it wasn't enough to actually move her, "i thought you wanted to be alone!"

ellie's hand would smooth over your hair whispering apologies. you would try to fight it for a couple more minutes but finally, you would relax into her touch. tears would drip from your eyes onto her sweatshirt.

god, she hated when you cried. it made her heart clench in her chest.

"i'm sorry baby," she kissed the crown of your head, "shouldn't have snapped like that."

u is for utopia, the other times with her.

ellie held the spoon to your lips, which you opened with no hesitation. the smooth caramel flavor of the ice cream hit your tongue causing you to exclaim in approval. your eyes were wide as you looked at her. 

"fuckin' awesome, right?" she looks proud of her ice cream selection. her spoon dips into the bowl again to get a scoop for herself. 

the ice cream parlor was dead except for the two of you. it was the dead of winter with snow twirling around outside. the both of you were bundled up. it made no sense to be here at this time. 

the worker looked at you like you guys needed to be locked up in an asylum, but you didn't care.

ice cream was always welcome.

you take a bit of your brownie-flavored ice cream, "next time we come here i'm getting your flavor. that shit is awesome."

she smiles, "wanna come again tomorrow?"

you could almost hear the worker's eyes rolling.

n is for the new-wave dreams she had back in her teens.

ellie has all of her old school projects spread out on her bed, a cheesy smile gracing her lips as she looks at them. they were mostly to do with space. you wondered if that's all she kept. there was one book report but it was crinkled off to the side, it looked as if she had shoved it in the bottom of her closet. the rest were her pristine condition poster boards explaining the galaxies and solar systems.

"whaddya think?" she is nearly bouncing with excitment as her hand touches a random part of the poster board.

you fall over, nuzzling her neck to stifle a chuckle, "god, why are you so cute?"

she grabs your shoulders, pulling you back and shaking you, "cute?! cute..!!!" her voice growls as she strains it, "i'm so not cute..."

you laugh at the pout that replaces the smile, "you are actually pouting right now. you are so cute."

ellie crosses her arms, "you are cuter. like by 100 times- no, like, 300 times!"

you roll your eyes, focusing back on the poster boards, "why did you do so many on space? i knew you liked it but they are the only ones you kept." you notice her pushing the book report off of the bed.

nerd.

ellie leans against the wall, her arms falling in her lap, "i wanted to work at NASA. well, i knew i wasn't smart enough for NASA or close enough to them but i wanted to do something similar. so, i focused on science fairs and stuff like that. i hoped i would get noticed by an organization."

your chest swells. you would do anything to go back in time so you could see teenage ellie putting her entire effort into the science fairs. you could imagine her winning, a goofy smile going over her freckled face. you wondered if she jumped up and down before she retrieved an award or if she tried to be calm. you bet she poured her entire attention over these projects, neglecting everything else. that was the ellie style.

joel had to have been so excited when she would come home with new awards. he was always so proud of her.

"my little space girl." ellie beams at that nickname. 

k is for the kid in her.

ellie weaves in and out of the crowd that's separating her from her favorite thing. she has a red backpack bouncing on her back and she can faintly hear you yelling, 'god, els! wait up!' but there was only one objective on her mind.

beat the little snotty kids in front of her so she could be in the first row to see the dinosaur animatronics. it was a new attraction that had come to your city and when you surprised her with tickets she almost passed out. ellie didn't let go of you for hours after. she would say 'thank you, baby' every couple minutes as she planted little kisses on your neck.

she had been anticipating this for weeks, and no crotch goblin was gonna take her spot. there were only a couple more kids she had to pass to be the first person. she slowed her full bolt to a speed walk now as she noticed the mothers giving her a nasty look.

she felt your hand on her bare shoulder, "jesus! you are fucking fast."

ellie still has her eyes on the front of the line but she does slow down a little bit more so your legs could keep up, "i gotta get up front."

your chuckle makes her smile. she loves that sound, "els, you are like a foot taller than most of these kids. you will be able to see."

you were right. she knew you were right.

but her legs kept their pace.

she had to see the dinosaurs up close.

[luciferlightbringer]

Talk to Me

Chapter 5

I am so sorry this took so long, con really took it out of me but now there we are!

Lucifer x Fem Fallen Angel Reader Word Count: 3k CW: Angst, trauma, trust building, slow burn, enemies to lovers(ish?), curiosity, care

Chapter 4|Chapter 5|Chapter 6 In Progress

The next couple of days you spent decompressing and taking care of yourself before the next time you had a talk day. You realized you would need to be careful with yourself when it came to doing this, or else you were going to get too overwhelmed with all of the new ways you were exploring pain and suffering with people. You were also trying to think of a better thing to call these meetings. Emotional support sessions maybe? That sounded at least a little more structured.

Earlier in the week, Charlie had asked if you needed anything for your work, and you had thought a sign to show when you were taking people for your door would be nice. Charlie got excited and ran off, later that same day she came back with a sparkly sign with pretty designs on it, one side said “Talk to Me” and the other side was blank and had a button, and in pressing the button, that back side could switch between things like “Session in Progress”, “Off Duty”, “Please Knock”, and other things.

You smiled and hugged Charlie to that her, then you put the sign on your with “Off Duty” up.

Now that it was the day of your next set of Emotional Support Sessions, you flipped it back to “Talk to Me” and nodded proudly before going into the room. This time, you did not have to wait as long before Angel can up to your room and walked in. You went to change the sign to “In Session” before beginning with Angel. Angel sat and talked with you for about an hour, going into more details about his relationship with Val, and how he got there. Bringing up more how he lived in a time where he was not allowed to be himself and was forced to do things he hated, and how here he is at least able to be out in hell as a gay man and express himself how he wants.

As you were talking with Angel, Lucifer was up in his Apple tower part of the hotel trying to get up the courage to talk to you. It wasn’t you he was nervous about, it was talking about what had happened, he had that wall up for so long he didn’t even know where to start. And he was afraid of it opening the floodgates for him. He felt tears well in his eyes just thinking about some things, he fought back the tears, shaking his head.

No, I need to not run away from this, Lucifer thought. Then his thoughts drifted again to you specifically. Who were you? Why did he get this nagging sense of familiarity from you? He really needed to work through this fog so that maybe he could figure that out, or he could just ask you… Would that be weird to just ask? He would have to think about that.

An hour later he was prepped as much as he could be and headed down to your room, to see the door open with the sign shining with his daughter’s handwriting welcoming him in. He smiled at the sign gave a quick knock on the doorframe.

“Good morning” he said gently. You turned around at the sound of his voice and bowed.

“Your majesty” you said.

He waved a hand “Please, just Lucifer. Is… now an ok time?”

“Ya! Let me just go get Vaggie and…”

“I also have the ability to be the silencing spell. If that would make it easier,” Lucifer offered. You stiffened a little. The idea of Lucifer using any magic on you made you feel a bit nervous.

“I uhh… thank you. But uhh… I just wanna keep the wording consistent for everyone and… she has it down so I’ll just get her.” As you called for Vaggie, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel a little rejected, but he tried not to take it personally. He didn’t push the matter.

Vaggie came up and smiled to see Lucifer I’m ready to talk to you. She cast the spell and then gave him a quick “I’m proud of you” squeeze on his arm before leaving. You and Lucifer both looked at each other for a moment, then Lucifer looked away.

“I uhh… haha. I’m sorry, I’ve never done all of this before,” he said looking away from you.

“It’s ok, I figured this was not something that people had here. A safe place to talk about anything, I’m also just trying to figure it all out,” you smiled, studying him in all his nervousness, another side of him you never expected from the great fallen deceiver, the King of Hell.

“Did you do stuff like this ever on earth?” He asked.

You were surprised by the question, “why do you ask?”

Lucifer shrugged, “I don’t know, I know this time is supposed to be about me but I can’t help but be curious about others sometimes. You don’t have to answer that…”

You thought for a moment, “This type of thing was… an element of what I did in the past, I was more like an aid or a right hand man. I’d listen, give support, do what was asked.” It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either, you were trying your best not to lie to anyone.

Lucifer nodded and started to sit down, “Ya, I get that, I used to have someone like that when I was still a seraphim. Someone at my side. Although… I felt like they were just there to watch me and to try keeping me in line. I don’t remember anything about them… especially because I was sneaking off to Eden so much to see…” his jaw tightened before her name could escape, it was still to painful to even say her name.

“Lilith?” You added gently as you sat across from him. He nodded blankly. “Maybe we can start there? At the beginning?”

Lucifer took a deep breath, “I might not get through the story all in one sitting. It… it’ll probably be too much.”

“I don’t expect you to,” you replied gently.

Lucifer took another deep breath and started to fidget with his cane, before looking up at you.

“Ok uhh… well… I was once an angel, a seraphim. We were angels with… greater powers, not like the Elders or Archangels but more than the others. I… created things, I loved making others laugh and smile, I had so many ideas for Heaven, and Earth… but the Elders did not like any of them… There were certain… limitations that we had… but I was never told why, was never told what the issues were with my ideas, only that they were bad and should not be thought of.”

“What kind of ideas?” You asked.

Lucifer perked up a little, “Wait, you want to know what my ideas were for Heaven and Earth were that they did not like?”

You nodded. Lucifer thought, he hadn’t thought about that in a long time, and no one had asked him that besides Lilith.

“Well… sometimes it was little things like animals… ways that humans could interact with the life around them… I thought it would be easier if animals could talk… maybe start off with more than just two people… have there be more choice for them… a lot of it was just kind of around communication between levels. About feeling equal, we could do almost anything as angels, and I wanted that for humans too, I wanted us all to talk to each other, for humans to be an extension of our Heavenly family, be able to talk to God and the Elders. And most importantly… to be able to do whatever we wanted to make us happy…” Lucifer folded more into himself, “That’s where everything went wrong.”

“What happened?”

Lucifer sighed, “Well… not wrong exactly, but that’s when my fallen essentially started. “The great deception” I think they called it. They created the Earth without me, they wouldn’t let me touch it at all, which hurt but I understood, I just wanted to see it. I snuck down to Eden and I found all of the animals, I found ducks for the first time, and I found the first man and woman, Adam and… Lilith…” Lucifer sighed and shook his head and took another deep breath before continuing. “They… were interesting to watch, I watched from afar. I never intended to get involved, but I saw how much Adam ordered Lilith around and it made me so sad for her.”

“Wait, he ordered her around?”

“Ohhhh ya, I mean, he was like “In charge of Earth” as the first human, but so was Lilith, and he just bossed her around! I watched him argue with her over how they needed to put the leaves back on the trees when they fell, even though they are supposed to fall! They couldn’t agree on how to take care of the animals. I mean… I understand that it was a big responsibility and stress, but he never wanted to work with her! He always had to be the one calling the shots and… heh… that’s just not how Lilith works… she is creative, a dreamer, bold, smart… beautiful…” He drifted mentally into those first few memories of Lilith seeing him, how they would sit and talk for hours.

You sat patiently as he thought, surprised but also now not at the way he spoke about Lilith.

“Lilith had enough one day and ran from the garden. I was worried about her, so I followed, I found her crying. Again, I never meant to interact with her, but she saw me, and called for me… I had seen angels for thousands of years, but there was no one like her that I had ever met. She saw the corruption of the system that had been built around her, she had wants and dreams, she wanted to be able to do whatever it was she wanted, and I wanted that too. Also, she had the most incredible voice. Oh how I could hear her sing forever, she’d sing just notes, sometimes she would sing about her frustrations, her joys, her sorrows… and… eventually… about her love for me… I didn’t expect to fall in love with her… but I did… she did… it was beautiful… I still remember her song…”

He lifted up a hand and conjured and orb of golden light that played a melody. He listened to the melody for a moment, and then he quietly started to sing “My Lucifer, my Morningstar on high, there’s something that I’ve been dying to say, more than anything…. More than anything… need you to know I love you more than anything… more than anything…”

The further into the line he sang, the more his voice crackled with tears, but it was still so beautiful. At the end he let the song fade and tears were pouring down his cheeks, his head tipped down so that his hat covered his face. His crying got harder and harder, he clenched his hands into the fabric of his pants.

“Lucifer?” You asked softly.

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt! I didn’t mean to go down and cause trouble!” His hands turned more into claws, his tail and horns emerged, his eyes turned red. He was terrifying, but not in the way you had expected to be terrified of him. This rage was not at you, it was at himself.

He looked up at you, “I just wanted to be free! I wanted everyone to be free! Also who puts the tree of knowledge right in the middle of the damn garden?! It was too easy, we didn’t want to hurt Adam, and especially not Eve! We just wanted them to know and to have free will like how we wanted it! We didn’t make her take it… But then in the end, it’s all my fault! Everything is my fault! Evil, Hell, sinners, my daughter and wife leaving me, my daughter having to fight Adam and heaven! None of this would have happened if I had never existed!”

At this point, your body moved without thinking, as you closed the space between you and Lucifer and you enveloped him in a hug, a tight grip that you knew he could tear through if he wanted.

Your hug made Lucifer stop in his tracks, he felt your warmth around him and he melted into it, wrapping his arms back around you. You felt his horns and tail start to retract as he relaxed a little into your embrace, you stood there holding him for what felt like hours, even though you know it wasn’t. Just hugging in pure silence.

“I see you, Lucifer… I hear your pain,” you said softly. “The system is unfair, there are problems, but the problems aren’t there because of you. You are just the reason why we see the problems now. It’s not your fault that the system has issues and they don’t want to do anything to change it because of how it serves them.”

Whoa, where in Hell did that come from? You and Lucifer were both shocked by your statement, Lucifer reacted by tightening his hug on you and burying his face into your shoulder as he started sobbing again. You watched the most hated being in all of creation try in your arms, and you felt something break inside of you. Was this really who heaven was afraid of? A man who could be brought to tears at the thought of his own actions of 10,000 years ago like they just happened yesterday?

You thought back to the words that had slipped out of your mouth, and realized that those beliefs didn’t just form now, you just finally saw your own pain reflected in someone else. Had you always silently suffered to some degree in Heaven and it only just now turned into a coherent thought? Was that just from the general structure of Heaven or was that due to something else?

Your thought was cut off by Lucifer moving away from your embrace, whipping away his tears. “I uhhh… oof.. I sorry you had to see, that.”

You smiled and put a hand in his arm, “It’s ok Lucifer, I’m happy to be here for you.”

In a moment, your vision flashes to the same scene, but you were in Heaven, before flashing back. It couldn’t have lasted more than a millisecond, but it took you by surprise, and you felt your hand half pull away from Lucifer’s arm, and a micro expression of panic flickering across your face. Luckily for you, Lucifer is too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice.

Lucifer was thinking of the next part of the story, preparing himself for those words.

“The counsel… Sera… they bound me in chains… Lilith too… put us on trial… then…”

“The fall,” you said flatly.

He nodded, “Ya… it was… a pain behold comprehension… I…”

You held up a hand, stopping him, trying not to let your own pain show through. Your own fall was still a bit fresh in your mind. You took a deep breath, “I don’t want you to push yourself to get the rest of the story right now. We have all the time it the world, to get through the whole story, ok?”

He thought, and he nodded, his shoulders slumped. “Sorry… I’m just not used to getting this whole story out, I haven’t even told Charlie or Lilith the story like this… I don’t want them to know how much pain I am in, even though I am sure they already know… I guess I just felt like I won’t have another chance to tell the story. To get it out.”

You nodded, “You will, I’m not going anywhere.”

He smiled, “Thank you, I’m glad I can take full advantage of your support this time….”

He trailed off, confused by the last few words he added to you. “Because… ya know… you were busy the other day, when we first met!” He flashed you a big smile to try covering up the awkwardness of his comment.

“Oh! Right, of course,” you smiled at him. You both stared at each other for a moment, both trying to sift through the strange feeling of familiarity with the other.

You shake yourself out of it and clap your hands once, “Well! That seems like a good place to end for the day, is there anything you need from me to feel ok wrapping up for now?”

Lucifer thought for a moment, and stood up and opened his arms to you, “Can I ask for another hug? I can try to not cry on you this time.”

You smile and stand from your seat, opening your own arms for him. He moves to enter your embrace. You hug him, his head resting on your chest. You stood there in each other’s embrace for a few minutes, a hug long that should have been uncomfortable for how little time you had known each other, but it wasn’t, it was honestly the most calm you had felt since you had fallen, but also the least. You were lost in both the fear of who you had known him to be from the stories in Heaven, versus the soft sad creature who was snuggled up into you now.

As he hugged you, he too felt a weird sense of familiar comfort. The ask for the hug was party to feel that safety again, and partly to explore his feelings when he held you. It was comforting and infuriating, he still couldn’t place where he felt this from. Something felt kinda… like Heaven? But how would that make any sense? You were a sinner.

Eventually he gave up with a sigh and released the embrace, looking up at you.

“Thanks… for doing all this. It hurts, but it feels good to talk about it,” he said with a weak smile.

You smiled back at him, “Anytime, your ma-… Lucifer.”

With that you walked him to the door and said goodbye before closing the down behind him. You went over to your bed and flopped, while Lucifer teleported up to his own bed in the Apple Tower and flopped. Both of you proceeded on your own mental journey of your experiences of the last hour. Mostly unsure of what to think of it at all, but you both knew one thing. That you both were already looking forward to your next conversation.

______________________________________________________________

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[danaduchy]

all texts from River

Willing to testify? Hey, V. It's River. Question - would you be willing to testify against Holt and Han? * Hey, River. Sure. Thanks. Might not be necessary - asking just in case. * Don't count on me. Can't stick my head out right now Too bad. But it's fine, I get it… I hate to say it, but… You were right all along What happened? Nothing much to tell. Testifying is a snooze-fest anyway. Ehhh, I know better ways to have fun ;) Don't doubt it - first time I saw you, I knew you had that kinda vibe…

Urgent: need your help Hey, V. There's this thing I really could use your help with. Heavy stuff. Please come to the Glen in the evening. Sending you the location now.

Waiting for you Hey, V. I'm at the market in Japantown. Come by when you're free. Lost track of you somewhere, but I found Christine Markov. Waiting for you. I'm at the address the CI gave us. Dump looks sketch. I'll wait for you. Waiting in front of the CI's store. It'd go a lot smoother if you were here… come over, alright?

Come here please Couldn't wait around any longer for you, V. Take care… V, where are you? I'm waiting… Hey, where are you? We don't have time - come back quick, please! Don't have time to wait for you, V. Randy's out there and he needs our help. Looks like I'm doing this alone… V, where are you? I'm waiting in the car…

Where are you?! V, where are you? We're losing time. Get back here, quick! I'm counting on you. Don't have time to wait for you, V. Randy's out there and he needs our help. Looks like I'm doing this alone… I can't believe you just left me like that - not a word, nothing. Doesn't change the fact that someone's still gotta save Randy, so I guess I'll do it without you. You truly know how to disappoint, V. I'd rather you stayed out of my life from now on. Goodbye.

Where are you??! Get back here! I don't know where you are, but I can't keep waiting. Thanks for your help till now, but I need to hurry up and find Randy… V, where are you? Heading back to the car. Get over here and help me, please! V, where are you? We have to save Randy, I need your help! Strange of you to leave at this particular time. I just hope Randy'll make it out alive… I'm heading back to that barn. Where are you?!? I don't know where you went, but I can't keep waiting. Randy needs help! You could've called quits at any other moment, V, but you chose that one? Well, guess what. Randy's dead. You and I are finished. You could've called quits at any other moment, V, but you chose that one? Thankfully, Randy's alive. Thought you might wanna know. Quick, get in the car! We need to go!!!

Need your help again ;) Hey, V, I'm gonna go visit Randy in the hospital and wanna buy him a present. Got any tips? * How should I know? He's not my nephew… * How about a new record? Some fresh tunes might cheer him up Good thinking. How about you? How're ya holding up? * I'm all right. Question is how you're handling all this… Still haven't decompressed after everything, but at least I'm not worried sick. Randy's alive and that's all that matters. * Been a rollercoaster of a ride lately, so biz as usual I guess. You? Manage to unwind yet? Which beer are you on right now? xD Still haven't gotten around to that, but I promise I'll drink one for you ;) What if I said you didn't have to? We should celebrate - just you, me - somewhere chilled, laidback… whaddaya think? ;) Now there's an idea! I'll keep it in mind ;) Alright then, take care, Riv. And tell Randy I said hi! How's your ride? Still in one piece? Banged it up pretty bad… Docs say she's in critical condition, but she'll pull through ;) * We could knock a few back together if you want… Well… how could I say no to that ;) Sweet. And tell Randy I said hi! Course I will. Take care of yourself, V! * I think it's about time I got to know the real River Ward… Hehe, well I think the real River and the real V would get along perfectly… I'll be in touch soon;) See ya later! And if you need anything, just holler.

Dinner at Joss's Hey V. Feel like swinging by Joss's for dinner? * Sure, be happy to join. Great! See you then! * Thanks for the invite, but have to catch you next time. Gotcha. Well, just gimme a call if you change your mind, k? I missed you, you know. * Missed you too. See ya soon then. * C'mon… hasn't been that long. * Me too, but now's not the best time. * Sorry, but definitely another time, yeah? Alright, another time then.

It's all fucked Harris is a corpse, V. I killed him and covered my tracks. Even if I don't fully understand why I did. This is goodbye. V, I just wanted to say… I'm really grateful for your help, even if we fucked it all up. I just… I have to forgive Harris, forget about what he did to Randy, put everything and everyone behind me. That includes you. I'm sorry Harris is a corpse. I killed him and covered my tracks. It's finally over… Goodbye, V. I know you couldn't care less, but Harris is a corpse. I iced him and covered my tracks. The nightmare's finally over… and this is goodbye.

Hope you had fun Hey V, hope everything's alright with you… Thanks for dropping by. I had a really good time :) I'm really glad you dropped by. Missing you already ;) * Yeah, it was cool That's good OK, maybe this isn't the best time… Lemme know when you wanna meet. * Thanks for inviting me. I had a nice time too. Your family's awesome Well my family thinks I've got an awesome friend ;) Joss says hi. You have no idea how nice it is to see her smile again… Thanks for everything, V. You should come over again soon :) Next time I'm buying dinner. See ya! Thanks, River. Take care. * We should do that again. Especially the second half of the evening… :P Oh, I'm all for a round two - I've already got some new ideas that'll drive you crazy ;) You'll be begging… Begging for more… But seriously - I've got a good feeling about this. And well… I'm just happy, like, dumb happy, you know? You're really amazing, V. Hey listen, about the thing with Johnny. I can imagine it must be pretty hard on you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. * Thanks. That means a lot to me * Thanks, but don't worry. I'll figure something out Just remember you can always count on me. For anything Thanks, River. You too. We'll get El Chamuco next time :) Bye! Hmmm OK, guess you're busy… Hang in there, V

Hey V… I was tidying up the bedroom when I realized there's way more space here than I need all to myself. If you ever want to leave a few things at my place, feel free. Something cozy to slip into… or maybe just a box of grenades. You know, the usual ;)

Randy says hi! * Oh, you visited him at the hospital? What did he think of your gift? Loved it, actually. I mentioned it was your idea. Well… He sure tried to look like he enjoyed it. Gotta sharpen up my uncling skills pronto. * Always happy to help. With anything :) Anything, you say? I'll keep that in mind :) * Randy knows he can count on you That's what matters. Don't hesitate to hit me up. Whatever you need. * Hi Randy! :P How is he? Getting better, I hope? Yeah, he gets stronger every day. You have no idea how grateful we are. * Glad I could help. By the way - I was at the hospital and met the parents of those two boys we'd saved at the farm. They wanted me to thank you. * Randy's lucky to have a family like that. * For you, I'm available 24/7 :) 24/7? Don't think I won't pick you up on that! * Randy's lucky to have a cool uncle! Since we're exchanging niceties - I met the parents of those two boys we'd saved at the farm. They wanted me to thank you. * Good to know they're recovering. * Shame we managed to save only two of them… You shouldn't think like that. We did what we could. Oh, and I also met with Yawen. You know, the one from the lab. * I know, the one who's your ex. Ancient history. Exactly. * The lab? You'll have to refresh my memory. Yawen Packard. She helped us with the Peter Pan case. My ex, remember? * Reigniting the old flame, are we? You couldn't be more wrong. Someone else is on my mind these days. Don't know about that. I feel like too much is happening right now to even consider it. Good luck with that, River. She seemed like one of the good ones. Time will tell. Keep your fingers crossed, anyway. I'll see you around. * Right. How is she? I thanked her for helping us with Harris. She risked her job back then. Sends her regards. * Right. And how did you "thank" her, exactly? Oh my, V! Did I just smell a hint of jealousy there? * Maybe, maybe not, maybe fuck you? :P Haha! You have nothing to worry about, really. Promise. Hope to see you soon, V. * Jealous? For you? Gimme a break :D Not for me, for Yawen! She's a great catch - intelligent, stable job, doesn't leave dirty dishes in the sink… She's all yours for the taking! Seriously though, hope to see you soon. Take care, V. * That's nice of her, thanks So… Have a good one, V!

Weird dream You were in my dreams today, you know? * Hope I wasn't haunting you! …in a way. Wanna hear it? * Don't think I wanna know the details XD Think you can handle it? ;) * Don't know if I'm ready for that today. Shame… Thought you'd like that. * Hit me! Can't pass on an opportunity like that! Well, I woulda told you anyway. You were riding a motorcycle, jacked into it via smart link. Your every thought, every reaction were immediately picked up by the machine. Before a turn, the bike leaned to the side before you even thought about it. When you pushed on the throttle, it roared forward, eager to please and thrill you. Your thighs were clutching its metal body, your muscles pulsating with excitement as you dashed down the highway… You probably figured by now I was the bike in the dream. And then… then I woke up. What do you think? Who haunted whom? * Who are you and what have you done to River Ward XD That bad, huh? Well, you win some, you confuse some :) Time to park the bike in the garage. FOREVER. * Now I really wanna see that engine running ;) It's as good as the rider :D

help with name Hey, V. I could use your help with a tricky matter. Don't worry, the only thing needs saving this time is my dignity. Remember when I told you I considered becoming a PI? * Course. Still hoping to see that private dick in private action ;) Well now the private dick is blushing! * Sure I do. I'm gonna go for it. Feels like the right move for me. Combining the familiar with something new. And you played a part in it too, you know? And not a small one at that! Which is why I'd like for you to pick a name for my new enterprise. Whaddya say? * I'm sure you can come up with a good one. It's your business, after all. Come on. I've seen how creative you can get. Help me out on this one. Please? * Fine. But I thought all those years of interrogating people left you with more wit than that :P Phew. That's a load off my shoulders. I'll be waiting, then! Give me your suggestions, I will pick the right one. Simple as that. * Damnit. Fine. I'll think about it. * Sounds tempting, I'm in! But… But? I'll help you, but I need a list of suggestions. Ain't great at marketing, you know. Ugh. I'll bet your sweet ass I'm even worse at this! I will suggest the names and you pick one. I was actually counting on that. Got anything good? How about "Warning Shot PI" or "NC Crime Ward?" NC Crime Ward sounds good… How about "Private Sherlock?" :P Edgewood Findings PI." Or maybe "NC Crime Ward." "My Justice PI" or "NC Crime Ward." Oh, wow. Don't know what to choose now… "Warning Shot Private Investigations." For sure. Night City Crime Ward. For sure. Edgewood Findings Private Investigations. No doubt. My Justice Private Investigations. Really like that one. Hmm… * You don't like those? I do. A lot, actually. Just need to sleep on it now. * Hmm? I got some options, now I have to sleep on them. * Could sleep with me, you know ;) Was thinking the same thing ;) We're in touch! * Let me know :) I will. Unless I decide I don't like your suggestions, in which case I'll start actively avoiding you :P

Still thinking. * About me and my goods, I hope? Especially about your goods. * So much thinking… Poor, dry River! Laugh all you want. Thinking isn't exactly in the NCPD job description. Okay, two ideas right off the bat: "River Ward Patrol" or "Detective Hunch Private Investigations." Thoughts? * River Ward Patrol is funny. I like it. Hmm… Why? River… Ward… Patrol. It's not clear to you? Suits your personality. Trust me on this, baby! * Detective Hunch PI… That's cool. It really says everything about you, babe :) Carries a promise of a genuine detective. Right. Makes sense. Thank you, V, you helped me a lot! Already mentioned that you deserve a lot of credit for all of this. But I'll understand if you don't want to have anything to do with it. * Look, I'm happy for you, setting up a new business and everything. But really, it's your future, you should be the one making important decisions like that. * Sorry, River. Don't really have the time for this right now. Fine. I still like you, though. I like you too, you big dummy. More "big" than "dummy," I hope! I'll keep in touch about this. Let me know what you decided on!

Hey! I talked to my neighbors today and I got really inspired. I think I got it. Ready? Here goes… "Your Super-Detective Companion." I'll get a big, old-fashioned signboard and everything. What do you think? It's great, right? * The name won't matter once they see that handsome face of yours ;) Now that's a good answer if I ever saw one! You deserve a special kiss for that :* * Awesome! Matches you perfectly XD …you're messing with me now, aren't you? * Hey, you're a super-detective to me! :* * I'm totally not! It really is perfect. Damn, do I like you, girl :)

Official Private I - that's me! Guess what, V… Today, I founded my very own company! It's official! Night City Crime Ward | Warning Shot P.I. | Edgewood Findings P.I. | My Justice P.I. | River Ward Patrol | Detective Hunch P.I. | Your Super-Detective Companion Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think? You - a merc. Me - a P.I. Quite the pair and not all that unalike. We help the client find what they can't find themselves. * Yeah, true. Easy to get lost in the details Exactly. And I'd rather not dwell on those details… Or the old cop in me is gonna get antsy * Dunno… Somtimes its my job to keep things hidden See? We complement each other. That's good business ;) * A merc doesn't always need answers. Sometimes we go in blind Well, not even the lucky ones get to work with complete info… Still, see what you mean. But if I'm looking for a missing person, it'd be good to know if they don't wanna be found. Like a woman fleeing her abusive husband. * A problem solved for one client raises a new problem for another Not sure you have any idea just how many enemies I made in my service with the NCPD. I know a thing or two about replacing old problems with new ones :) * But I gotta say. Bein a merc, having flexible hours is quite the perk So you're on call 24/7? Hey, if you like it… :D * At least bein a detective means bein insured Right! Thanks for the reminder. Knew I forgot something… Btw, cross your fingers for me. Think I might have my first contract. Client has til the end of today to decide and give me the scoop. It's re: a disappearance, which is perfect. That's where I see myself focusing my effort. * Not gonna focus any of that effort on me? Hmmm… Now what could that mean… Wait, don't telll me, I'm a detective after all ;) * Only without any repeats of Peter Pan I hope. Gotta watch your back Nah, c'mon. Don't worry about little old me. Athough it is cute :) * Ever take a shower and just get lost in thought? Gonna be me today. Thinking about you… Oooh… well if you do get lost, I'll be there to find you. ;) Unfortunately gotta put down my phone for a bit, but we'll talk soon. Givin you kisses up down and all around. * Gonna miss hangin out while you're out there finding all the city's missing You're always at the top of my to-do list! Unfortunately truth is I do actually gotta go right now. Hang in there, V. Love ya lots!

Memories Sat for a spell on the water tower yesterday, you know the one. Couldn't stop thinking about last time. Us up there, that view… Never thought I was the puppy love type, but here we are… * Ah good times… No, wait… the best times. I'm glad you feel the same. I've been buried in this city for so long now it feels like, with you, I've finally dug my out, filled my lungs with fresh air for the first time. Does that make sense? It's such a strange, new, wonderful feeling I can't even describe it. * If you're gonna climb 50 feet for memories, just do me a favor and watch your step Haha! I may be falling for you, but not off that tower. Not now that I have someone in my life who can make me laugh again… And make me feel like I'm always soaring 50 feet above the earth :) Say, you ever think about your roots? Where you come from, where you're going, and all that? Just thinkin how my parents didn't and now I know so little about my ancestors. I've tried to connect with other people of the Pomo tribe here in NC but they're either all gone or they're like me and Joss - lost and detached. Heard there's strong community in NorCal but idk… maybe someday. * All that matters to me now is where I'm going and who I share the road with Maybe you're right. It's about where you choose to put down your own roots and who to build a life around. * I come from a world of cash grabs and power struggles. Not much else there to think on… * My old tribe… they're long gone. But the world keeps moving. It never stands still * My roots have always been right here in Night City. Used to think I knew what that meant, now I'm not so sure Yeah, why dwell on what's not yours anymore or never was. It's about where you choose to put down your own roots and who to build a life around. * That's you and me, River. We're one tribe now God dammit, V, I love you. Still can't believe the lucky bastard I am to have you * Prefer to focus on the here and now. The time to plant roots comes later Right. All anyone can do is seize the day. One day at a time. | Right. First we gotta get that squatter out of your head.

Sorry, can't take a holo right now, a little tied up. But hit me - what's up? Need your help * Got a sec? Could use your help * Got a moment for someone in need? Course, what's the issue? Straight to biz. Gotta admit it stings a little that I only get a sign of life when there's trouble. As much as I admire your directness, we really gotta work on our foreplay :) So tell me what's goin on * A couple acquaintances of mine found themselves in trouble. Talkin real bad * I met this pair, both are BARGHEST. Y'know, Dogtown goons. They're in a tough spot That's why I need 4 power generators Whoa whoa you need what? Generators…?? * Ahem… Word is the boys over Santo recently confiscated some generators… ;) I think I got just the thing… Hold on, need to think a sec. I always excpected we'd throw some fun surprises at each other. This… I did not expect. BUT that doesn't mean I'm any less willing to help! There's an evidence locker with some generators on file But you do remember I got kicked off the force, right? Surely you're not asking me to steal NCPD property or grease anyone's palms… * I'll be straight with you. This is a life or death situation. Fully serious Ahhh fuck it… ok. I've kept in contact with a couple friendly faces who still owe me a favor. I'll figure something out I'll get you those generators. I'll even toss in the fixer's delivery fee. They'll drop them in the dumpsters by the Coronado Bay movie theater. * Thanks, River. Seriously. You're a big softie at heart I know I know… :) Oh I know… Just don't tell anyone. No one's gonna hire a big softie for their hard-line detective :) <3 xo * You. Are. The. Best. What can I say - just like to help I like you, V. A fact you know how to use to your advantage. But dammit if that's not part of your charm ;)

Think about me sometimes? hey, how goes it? still think about me from time to time? * not right now, sorry. got a pretty demanding gig, need to stay focused. I respect that. Staying focused is staying safe. * I could use your input for this complicated gig I'm on right now If you wanna talk about, I'm here. Who knows, maybe I could even help… * I was actually thinking about you - my imagination was running wild until you interrupted me ;) Well now you HAVE to give me details…! * oh you know - just a cozy evening together :) Seeing as our ideas for a date match up, maybe we should set things in motion? * only thing you need to know is that whipped cream was involved… Well excuuuuse me… Instead of saying sorry, I could make it up to you by helping you reenact that scene in real life…? * my imagination, my biz ;) All good, understood. You've got your secrets, I've got one or two of my own ;) * there's still a lot I don't know. it's a complex sitch. I'll tell you everything later Not an appropriate subject for the holo, hm? I get it. * Definitely not. But maybe sometime over a drink…? * Definitely not right now. Eyes and ears everywhere. * well, I guess I'm basically a bodyguard. one-time thing, but with the potential for future cooperation. Just remember that no matter what the job is or who it's for - your safety's most important * Gig I'm on's pretty layered, complex - maybe another time…? I'll hit you up, don't worry ;) * can't spill detes, but it's not the best time. for now we'll have to settle for fantasies * let's leave it at that :) I'll catch up with you later, promise I get it. Do what you have to do. In my experience, sacrificing too much on someone's behalf rarely pays off. People's gratitude is usually shortlived and the money doesn't last forever. * I know, I know. I'll explain everything some other time. Course, I'll let you get back to it. We'll catch up later. Maybe over dinner, who knows ;) * No need for the lecture - I got this. Course, I never doubted you. I just hope we'll meet up soon to chat… Whatever happens, look after yourself :) * I'll try. you too - I'll make sure to check <3 * thanks. I just hope all's good between us. Next time just give me a sign, anything, that you're still alive…

Someone misses you! V! How've you been? * River! How've YOU been? Ha, good, good. But could always be better… * Pretty good, you? All's well, thanks. Although I'd love to hear you ask me that in person… * Can't complain. What, you miss me? :) Wow, good read. You ever thought about becoming a detective? :P You probably already guessed what this is all about… want to meet up? Catch up? * Definitely! Come by my megabuilding apartment :) Perfect! Be there in a flash! * What would you say to a house party in Northside? Great idea! Should I bring chips…? * Wanna meet in Japantown? Sounds great! I'll head out soon! * Yeah, swing by my place in the Glen! I'll clean myself up and be right over! * Hell yeah, come downtown to my pad in Corpo Plaza! It's settled then :) So, yeah… Ok! Can't wait! * Let's do it! Time to rock Dogtown! Haven't you heard what they do to the cops behind that wall? Do me a favor and keep us within NCPD jurisdiction :P * Today's not great for me… sorry :( Guess you'll have to keep missin me :P Ouch! Heartless! :P I'm sure we'll have better luck next time!

Hey, sweetie… Can I call you that? Sweetie? hmm… Maybe… you'd like to get together again? If you're not opposed… Hey, how's your day been? Mine's been full of thoughts of you :) Any chance you'd like to enjoy my humble company? Do you know how much I like you? T H I S M U C H I'd like to do something for you. Like… maybe visit? If you're looking to improve your day… maybe I can help? :) * You read my mind :) Come to my megabuilding apartment * Well aren't you adorable? :P Meet me in Northside Good thing I can't get speeding tickets ;) * I'd love that! Swing by Japantown! Sit back. I'll be there soon <3 * Can't say no to you! Come to my place in the Glen ;) Getting ready now. Me and the butterflies in my stomach :P * Let's meet downtown, Corpo Plaza <3 * Hmm… how about a dog day in Dogtown? ;) I… would prefer Night City, if I'm being honest :)

Hey there, beautiful :) You know, think it probably goes without saying at this point but… you bring light to my life, V. If you feel the same, just remember - one word and I'm at your doorstep <3 * I do. And I'll let you know when I'm free again, I promise! You have my number. I mean… obviously, haha. * You're sweet :) Can't wait to see you again soon Already counting the hours and seconds :) * Just remember to knock :P Ha, I'll need a signature knock then. Don't want you confusing me with a Buck-A-Slice delivery :D Well… talk later!

What's up, River? Got anything on your plate? Be nice to see you :) Hey, V! Work is pretty light right now. Can I come by your place? :) A lot of somethings on my plate right now, actually. :( But I'll let you know when I'm free!

You spoil me Haha, thanks for the gift, V. This thing is 100x better than my old police cruiser! V, what a romantic! Do these flowers smell like you too? Or is that just my wishful thinking? ;) * Just a pity I can't box up my kisses and send you those too :-* * y'know, you're the only gift I could ever ask for <3 I love you, babe <3 As for sharing memories, I'd love to tell you more about myself. But… by "dry" did you mean "sober"? * Well, y'know, a few drinks in and the eyelids get heavy. And I don't wanna miss a word ;) Say, just how much have you had to drink today, hm?? :P * Nah, just a joke about the water tower :P Haha, well I know other places too, you know :)

Unexpected trip outta NC Hey, just wanted to let ya know I'll be outta town a few weeks. Somethin suddenly came up Outta town? Without me? * If this trip was for pleasure, you'd already be packin your bags ;) I know, just kiddin around. But you'll be home quick, yeah? Do my best * Not missin much. This trip isn't exactly for fun Then why go? What's this about? Tell ya once I'm back. :) For now, gotta delta

Please? Can you pick up? Just pick up. I don't like to play games Where the hell are you? I'm turning NC upside down trying to find you… PICK UP THE HOLO Please I'm begging you Johnny…? Just one call, you owe me that much

Wanna grab a beer? V, feelin thirsty? Beer's on me. Wanted to bounce a thought off ya. and of course enjoy the company of the preemest woman in the city ;) Or… maybe you're working a big gig right now? V, everything ok? I'm trying to call, can you please answer? Hey, checking in. It's been a few weeks… Hey again, starting to get real worried now. You said just a few weeks and that was half a YEAR ago Make that a full year… what the hell? 17 missed calls from River Ward