#( his answer is tht he deserves a little treat )

[elliscousland]

ellis in awakening violently trying to pretend he's NOT supporting a blood mage in the magic researching how to make him live longer

[bluecookies02]

Dabi x Reader x Hawks

It was always the three of us-NSFW

summary: DabiHawks is already established and the two of them are dating. You've been their best friend for years and them getting together feels like two heartbreaks at once. But- Take a guess man I dunno...I'm under the impression tht they like you too🤷‍♀️

❗️warnings❗️: slight angst (only the begging, your heart will be fine I promise), eating out, threesome, double penetration, creampie, praise...sex?

word count: 3k

Edited 13. January 2021

You're sick of it.

There's always a bittersweet taste on your tongue when the three of you hang out now.

Nothing really changed if you were trying to look at it objectively.

They still talked to you like before.

Invited you over, chilled with you, fuck even watched movies and cuddled with you.

Yet there was a string being pulled at your heart every time they kissed in front of you, held hands, whispered to each other...

You were watching a stupid comedy, your eyes blankly looking at the screen while you tried not to focus on the way their fingers tangled together, drawing small circles over each other's knuckles as they laughed at the screen.

Their hands were on the pillow that was placed in your lap, your small form in between them.

You try to focus back on the movie, ignoring the sound of cloud nine laughter that filled your ears.

You missed half of the scenes already, you can't make yourself watch it at this point, so you zone out again, falling down the rabbit hole you always find yourself in.

"Songbird, everything alright?" Keigo's worried voice snaps your attention back to reality, his brows furrowed as he stares at your glistening eyes. You don't know how much time passed but you didn't know you were so close to crying until his voice snapped you out of it.

Dabi's hands find purchase of your cheek, turning your face to him so that he could see what made Hawks turn off the TV.

You're met with blue eyes, a look of utter concern causing your skin to crawl, making it hard to fight the urge to punch something, anything.

"Talk to us doll, you know we're here" your heart shatters in pieces, hot tears piling up until they began to freely fall down your face, your fists clutching the pillow, your knuckles turning white.

They've seen you cry many times before, both of their arms flying around you to hold you tight, but your arms pushed and nagged at theirs, your small body shaking and kicking them away.

The fucking nicknames, the closeness of their bodies made you feel like you were suffocating, finally being able the breathe once they let go and you ended up on your feet.

You took a large gulp of air. You've practiced this. Replayed the sentence over and over until you learned how to say it even through tears. At this point, you couldn't keep stitching your heart up every time you spent time with then.

"I can't hang out with you guys anymore" it felt like a weight being lifted off your shoulders until you looked back at them. You're gonna do this and then cry when you get back home. You got this.

"What the fuck? Why?" Dabi was the first one to speak, standing up and coming closer to you until you stepped away.

He grits his teeth and stays in place, Keigo's fingers pulling the hem of his sleeves to let you have your space.

"I...I think we at least deserve an explanation...yeah?" Keigo's broken voice surged through the room, Dabi's hand reaching out to his in an act of comfort.

Your eyes burned through their hands but you nodded nonetheless.

"After I say this I don't want to hear a word from any of you. Not a single one of pity or comfort or any of that." they hesitantly agreed, Hawks pulling Dabi back on the couch.

You began nervous laughing ,fighting the new wave of tears as you opened your mouth to speak.

"So. Haha...fuck...I'm in love with you guys. Fucking hilarious right" your forced laughter burned their ears, making them cringe.

"It was a really great time for a long while wasn't it?" you joked, clapping your hands together and squinting your eyes. You have no idea who you'll be without them, but you'll have to find out.

Two pairs of arms tackled you, almost making you fall to the floor, your feet losing balance as they held you up. You want to fight, yet you know you can't win, so your body settles for shutting down, you're ears buzzing and doing their best to cancel out any words they're about to let out.

"You're the dumbest bitch I know" Dabi mumbled into your hair, pulling you into his chest as Keigo's hands stayed on your hips. "You're such an idiot" Dabi lets out again, soothingly petting your back in an effort to calm you down.

You were a mess, mumbling confused nonsense, almost offended until Hawks reached for your chin, turning your head to him and smashing his lips against yours.

"It was always the three of us wasn't it doll?" Dabi questioned, pushing Keigo's face away and kissing you deeply.

Hawks tried to act annoyed for a second, fluffing his feathers and puffing up his cheeks before a smile fought onto his lips.

Your brain was running laps against your skull, everything feeling dizzy as you gripped at the hem of their shirts.

Dabi finally pulled away, his mouth hanging open as he caught his breath.

You thought about this possibility every passing second of your days, a small part of you hoping for something you deemed irrational. Yet it made sense, their hot breaths against your neck and airy laughs against your skin sending goosebumps all over to your tippy toes.

"Be ours, songbird" you only managed to nod, hiding your face in your hands as now happy tears welled up.

Two hot mouths kissed your knuckles, moving your fingers aways and pecking both of your cheeks and eyelids. You open your eyes, blinking the tears away.

A pair of red wings wrapped around all three of you, squeezing and flapping excitedly. They talked about this, dreamed about this, hell they won't go to the extent that they fantasized about you, and they are so mad that you had to go through this before they gathered the balls to do something about it.

You watched the two kiss sweetly, squishing you between them. A quiet moan leaves your lips when you see Dabi reaching a hand around Keigo's neck, his large palm plastered over his throat, his fingertips lightly pressing down when Hawks tried to pull away.

Your body shivered, your arms lending up to tug at the hero's hair, feasting on the small pants that left his lips when you latched onto his neck. He doesn't know whose lips he would rather chase as both of you move away.

Dabi fights against the wings, glaring at Keigo to let both of you go.

When he reluctantly complies, Dabi is quick to pick you up and drape you over his shoulder, smacking your ass and chuckling when he hears your scream. It certainly lightens the mood.

Hawks follows behind the two of you, skipping steps and closing the door behind Dabi when he enters the bedroom. He's like an overgrown puppy, excitedly waiting for a treat.

Your back hits the cushion, the villain's shirt being stripped off him by Keigo's rushing hands.

You're already rubbing your thighs together, mouth-watering as you catch a glimpse of his abs.

You don't have that much time to enjoy the view, since his hands are on you in seconds, gripping at the hem of your sweater. You sit up, raising your arms to help him out, your shirt following suit and flying to the floor carelessly. The blonde kneels on the bed, joining Dabi.

Heated hands cup your breasts kneading at the flesh while his mouth latches onto your nipple.

Hawks scoffs at his greedy boyfriend, lowering himself to your neck, mouthing at the skin as your body jolts after a particularly rough bite to your flesh. Keigo is definitely the gentle one, kissing your skin and humming softly while he takes his sweet time with you.

"He's going too fast isn't he little birdie?"

You're not sure if you can answer it...it's too much of both fast and slow, your nerves getting the best of you as he waits for your response .

Hawks gets it, he does...but he still wants to give an option of slowing down, tangling his fingers in his boyfriends hair and pulling him away only slightly.

Dabi's pierced tongue lolls out, giving a teasing flick at your hardening nub, followed by more as he swirls it around, grinning and looking up at you. The contrast of the hot tip of his tongue and the metal sending your brain into an overdrive.

He's still held back by Keigo, but he doesn't fight the pull, instead he finds himself unbearably hard from being bossed around like this.

You pull him back by the nape of his neck, Hawks' grip loosening so that you can stuff his mouth full of your plump flesh.

That is enough of an answer to him.

Keigo's fingers trail your stomach, ghosting over your belly before going to the buttons of your pants. He waits for a few moments, leaning his forehead against yours, pecking your lips before moving in between your legs.

Once you lightly nod, he unbuttons them with ease, moving down to pull them off your legs.

You look down at Dabi, eyeing the numerous hickeys on your tits. He looks up, darting his tongue out and licking over the bruised marks, smirking when you swallow over the lump in your throat. Your skin there is now mostly purple and red, some patches even grazed with small specks of blood threatening to seep out.

You hear a ruffle of feathers, a blush plastered across Keigo's cheeks as he inches his hand closer to your panties. He can see how wet you are, the material sopping up your arousal. His touch is gentle but heavenly good, his fingers gliding between your clothed folds.

Keigo's free hand grips the bulge in his pants, trying to ease some of the pressure by pressing on it.

Dabi moves to sit behind you, spreading his legs for your tiny form and pulling you against his chest. He had his fill for now and he wants to watch the show. He knows Hawks looks pretty with his mouth full.

He lifts you up so that the hero can slip the panties off, sitting you back down and spreading your legs once the layer isn't in the way anymore.

Cold air hits your exposed heat, your pussy clenching around nothing. You would be ashamed if you didn't hear the low growl coming from Hawks as he settled his face between your thighs. You smell fucking delicious, blood rushing to his ears as he takes a look at your sex.

His wings tighten against his back before spreading  out when he takes the first lick. You lean all of your weight onto Dabi when Keigo's hands dig into the back of your thighs, opening them out as he starts lapping at your cunny.

Dabi's breath hits your ear, a shudder rumbling through his chest when your pliant body humps against the blonde's tongue. His large hands snake up to play with your breasts, kneading the tortured nub between his fingers as he ghosts over the marks he left on you.

Turning your head to him, you pull him in a kiss, moaning when Keigo circles two digits over your sex.

You impatiently wiggle your hips to push them in, combing your fingers into his hair to will him on.

Dabi's arm is now securely wrapped around your belly, holding you tight while he explores your mouth, his piercing clicking against your teeth.

You taste like everything he needs and more, his bulge throbbing in his sweats and against your body, impatient to finally have you.

"Hawks." his voice is stern but begging, urging his boyfriend to stretch you out already.

You're already so wet, and the two digits slip in and out with ease, your juices gushing in Keigo's palm all while his tongue doesn't stop swirling at your clit.

Dabi impatiently slips his cock out of his sweats, raising you up to push against Kei's fingers.

Hawks scolds him, but pulls out nonetheless, guiding Dabi's length over your slit, silking him up in his own spit. You mewl when he prodes at your entrance, biting your lip as you wait for the stretch.

It burns, but you feel so heavenly full, His large cock pushing to the hilt in one slow thrust, His tip fitting snuggly against your cervix.

Dabi's breathing is ragged and heavy on your shoulder, his eyes shut tight as he savors the warmth of your cunt.

"Fuck Keigo, you have no idea what you're missing out on."

You look down at the blonde, his tongue darting out to lick along Dabi's base, going between his cock and your pussy, mouthing at where the two of you connect.

Hawks is somewhat keeping his cool but his cock humps against the bed, his whole body swaying as if he's dragging his dick along your skin.

Dabi slowly ruts into you, deep and torturous. Your eyes widen when you feel a finger try to push in, the villains' movement coming to a stop as he tries to comfort you. Tears start pricking in your eyes, your legs trying desperately to close as you urge them to stay open. You want it, you truly fucking do, but when you feel another try to slip past your tight walls you're not sure if you're gonna stay conscious. There's already no place left just from Dabi alone and shit, you feel like screaming.

"Please baby, I promise it'll feel better soon, can you be a good girl for us hmmm?I believe in you..." Keigo's voice rings in your ears, your half-lidded eyes looking at your stretched pussy, watching the fingers pump knuckles deep in and and out, dragging between Dabi's cock and your walls.

You're so fucking wet and covered in slick, your folds glossy in your essence, pooling around Dabi's shaft.

A warm hand rests on your belly, easing your muscles, and relaxing you. There's a third finger pushing against the first two, the stretch surprisingly not as painful as the previous.

Keigo leans over you, kissing away the tears that ran down your cheeks, massaging the ravenette's arousal with the pads of his fingers.

"We're so so proud of you dove...Thank you so much" your chest swells with pride, a wide smile adorning your face. You do feel like you're being tricked with these comments but it doesn't matter, they seem to work.

The blonde pulls the other man in a kiss, slipping his fingers out of your core as he aligns his head with your cunt.

Both of them move to each side of your face, placing their lips at the corners of your mouth. You gulp, filling your lungs and holding your breath.

Your hands fist Keigo's shirt, pulling and almost ripping the poor thing apart when he prods the tight rim. Fuck it's so hard to breathe, air practically knocked out of you, your shaky hands wrapping around Hawks.

Inch by inch, he bottoms out, groaning at the tightness around his dick.

Minutes pass by, your boyfriends lavishing and worshiping your skin with kisses and gentle touches, loving every part of you they could reach.

The hero's wings wrap protectively around both of you when he starts moving, his head pressed against your shoulder.

Dabi seems to pick up the pace too, thrusting in as soon as Keigo almost pulls out. The rhythm isn't rushed at first, both of them moaning with each throb of your walls around their lengths.

They're taking their sweet time, angling their hips experimentally, noting the way your body shakes at each perfect plow into your cunt.

It's too good and too much, the knot in your tummy already threatening to snap loose. And the boys are on the verge of their highs too, gradually becoming more and more greedy, not pulling out almost at all, pounding and rutting against your cervix.

Dabi's grip on you tightens, trying to keep your body in place as he and Hawks rock into your pussy. Keigo moves from the crook of your neck, raising his hand to get a hold of the villain's jaw, smashing their lips together .

You're squished in between them as they moan into each other's mouth groaning when they feel you squeezing around them.

They're gonna cream you so good, pump their seed into your hole and make you so so full...you'll never settle for anything less after them and they fucking know it.

Your eyes swell with tears as you feel the knot finally snapping loose, you don't want it to end, you don't want them to ever move away from you but your body works against you, bringing you to the most powerful orgasm you ever felt, surging through your muscles and making them flex and clench.

Both of them look at eachother, eyes wide and blown with lust as they cum at the same time, hot seed coating your walls and leaking down Dabi's shaft.

They're panting, their foreheads touching as they caress your body all over.

"I love you..." Hawks says breathlessly, his eyes closed and his wings folding against his back, giving you all room to move and breathe.

He slips out, causing the rest of their cum to seep out. Dabi scoffs at the mess smeared over his length and thighs, slowly handling your body and moving you off his lap.

Dabi picks you up and Hawks chuckles. "You like carrying them huh?"

It earns him a glare, placing you in the heroes arms and making his way to the bathroom.

"I.Have.My.Own.Cum...Dripping down my ass" he hisses out making Keigo wheeze, almost tumbling over and dropping you.

You can't help but smile, nuzzling your head into your winged boyfriend's shoulder.

Everything clicked in place finally, your eyes closing in comfort as you let them take care of everything...take care of you.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

been a hot minute since I wrote something a bit longer but here we r.

Please leave a comment and reblog cause I'm a whore for feedback, tnx💕

requests:closed

commissions:open

Ko-Fi | Patreon

[penelope1597]

Show: Midnight Mass or Hill House ?

Character: Janine or Emily ?

Pairing: Serena/Mark or Serena/Fred before Gilead?

Anything: THT 4x09 or THT 4x10?

😱😱 I love this…..and I don’t lol cause I can’t really choose 🤣🤣🤣

Show: I saw both shows one after the other. I think I loved the way the shows go into the dynamics of trauma, tragedy and love. There’s something beautiful about it as weird as it sounds. First I watched Midnight Mass and I looooved the way the did the parallels between Vampires and Christianity (Catholicism) and how they criticize the hypocrisy of some “true believers”. As a person that has studied the beginnings of Christianity and the long lasting effects of the Middle Ages in today’s society I enjoy when a show presents a totally different dynamic about it and it goes more towards a critique of what’s wrong with fanatical religious views and how it’s shapes so many of the inequality struggles we see and still love today. Then I watched Hill House and even though it was scarier for me I liked how the traumas of the characters were presented and how the horrid tie to those traumas. This one touched a bit closer to home as the way they present people with substance abuse was more human. As someone that loved someone with addiction problems, seeing their struggle portrayed in the show so humanly was in a sense triggering, but good because that’s the way it is and that’s the way it should be portrayed so people understand that it’s a struggle that affects not only them but also the people around them.

So if I were to choose I guess I’ll go with Midnight Mass because I didn’t ugly cry or get super scared like in Hill House.

Character: 😰 I love both for different reasons. Jeanines defense mechanism is trying to see the positive in anything. She chooses to enjoy the little things and has an in comet childlike quality to her personality. Madeline Brewer said in an interview that Jeanine’s fire simply burns differently now and she’s right. She was fiery and fiesta the first times we saw her, but Gilead did what Gilead does best, break her. But she’s still manages to survive in her own unique way. Emily is more calculating and takes more risks than June. She’s also more quiet, patient and she’s the first one to try and do something because Gilead had already taken everything from her. She went through the same process as June. When she takes the car and drives she did it because she didn’t have a anything left to lose. Just like June did the Angel’s Flight when she was already broken and left with nothing. In Canada she’s able to kind of camouflage her feelings because she quiet and not impulsive like June but that rage is still there.

So if I were to choose I guess I’ll go with Emily because I identify more with her than Jeanine. I don’t think I’d take the let me just be happy no matter what approach un a Gilead like scenario.

Lol this ones is easy. Serena and Fred as they deserve each other. Serena doesn’t deserve a happily ever after with Tuello. She deserves to be with someone as repulsive as she is. She wants women to be controlled without losing her own control, she thinks she’s better than those women, and she thinks that because Fred loved her he would treat her differently. No sweetie you are worse than the women you think are below you because you betrayed your own. Therefor you deserve to be treated the same way as those you have no shame in oppressing. M

409 or 410 of THT 😑 I’m not choosing 🤪. There’s no way I can choose between the image of what Osblaine could be without Gilead , June’s acceptance that Nick is what she wants, chatty daddy Nick or gangster Nick bringing Fred to her, punching him, looking at June like she’s his goddess, making out and then having her kill the POS. It’s impossible #sorrynotsorry

It cannot be done, I rest my case, I choose both just like June chooses Nick 🤪

Thank you friend @melicaffa for these asks. I’ve been wanting to answer all day lol but the customers at work didn’t let me 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄🤣🖤

[angeltrapz]

saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

[jul-bilant]

Prince!Seokmin/DK

oh my god g u ys  ss dhsdfz,hjv

yall have nO IDEA HOW AGGRAVATED I AM LIKE DSJSHCBHJ

i actually finished this already but tumblr kept on crashing like??? 

hhhhhhhhhh-

anywayyyy this was actually a request but when i checked my inbox,, it disappeared ;-;-;-;-;

so yh, sorry it took so long :’VV

warning! a bit of bloodshed, mentions of murder and drugs and a bit of swearing

s o 

prince seokmin amirite ladies

sosososososo adorable and cheerful like

the epitome of happiness

he has a really good singing voice too !!

so the whole kingdom just fawns over him as he sings lol

but he also really cares for his kingdom and the people he loves

so when you hurt the innocent, prepare for prince seokmin to come at u

so you’re just a norm villager 

and it’s quite late at night, but you forgot to run an errand so you’re doing it last minute

bad idea ik but thts how desperate you are jnsdkjfbskjcb--

you were rushing and took a breather when you suddenly heard rustling in the bushes behind you

you turn around, panicking

literally everything in you was telling you to run

run n   o  w

but you couldn’t move

you were paralyzed, too scared to function properly

the rustling stopped but you still couldn’t move, you were still paralyzed in fear 

and that was your downfall

a hand tugged your hands from behind and pulled you towards them, placing a hand on your mouth as well

you tried escaping from the person’s grip, but it was useless, you were too weak

“got you now, you rat.” 

you knew who that voice belonged to, 

but you just couldn’t believe it

before you could even emit another sound, you were knocked out

when you woke up, you scanned your surroundings

you were in a spacious room with golden designs embedded into the beige walls

but what you were most concerned about was that you were bound to a chair by ropes 

you tried to look behind you but there’s no use, your feet were tied to the chair’s legs

suddenly, you heard the door open from behind you

“i’m her to get answers, and you better give them to me.”

????

the hell??????

“listen, i don’t know what’s happening, but whoever it is that you’re trying to catch, it isn’t me.” you told seokmin

“shut up, i remember your face vividly. there’s no way i could forget it.”

he took your chair and spun it around for you to face him

when your eyes met, you gave him the deadliest glare you could possibly muster

he pulled out a pocket knife and held it against your neck harshly

“where did you hide them?” he asked through his gritted teeth 

“hide what?” you wince at the pain

“the drugs you used on the victims!” he pressed on your neck a little harder

you bit your lip in pain as you felt your blood trickle down a bit

“i’m telling you! i’m not the criminal!” you retorted and he scoffed

“liar! i’m not falling for whatever bullshit you’re spewing-” 

“prince seokmin!”

he was cut off by one of his guards calling his attention

“prince seokmin! we found the actual criminal! the girl is innocent!”

seokmin immediately pulled away from you and bit his lip

he growled in frustration and gripped his pocket knife tighter

you gave him a look, your eyebrow raised and you huffed

“told you. now are you going to untie me or wha- hey!” you yelled when he rushed out of the room 

you groaned in frustration and annoyance

and also in pain because your neck was still bleeding

a few minutes later, the door opened

and who walked was none other than prince seokmin

you didn’t look at him. because you knew that once you did, you’d have to restrain the strong urge to rip his face off

you thought he was going to untie you, but nope

well. he did, but before that. he got on one knee and bowed 

“i.. i’m sorry. i just couldn’t risk possibly endangering other people by setting a criminal free..” he said

“perhaps i could make it up to you?” he offered

you scoffed. “by what? paying me? shallow for a prince who almost killed me.” 

he thought for a while while untying you

“maybe you could live here for as long as you want and be treated like royalty? would that satisfy you?” he suggested

you were dumbfounded and speechless for a good minute

“you can’t be serious, what about your parents? won’t they get upset at you?” you asked him

“no, i just have to explain what happened and they’ll be alright with it.” he said

“well..” you thought about it

“what do you say, y/n?” seokmin reached out his hand 

wait he knew your name?

as if he read your mind, he answered,

“don’t ask, i have my ways.”

you shrugged, well he is the prince

“alright then.” you took and shook his hand

he helps you up and doesn’t let go of your hand just yet

“follow me,” he says and leads you to the little clinic they have in the palace

he sits you down on the bed and takes one of the first aid kits

sitting beside you, he opens it 

“again, i’m so sorry...” he says, feeling guilty about harming you

“it’s alright.. i would’ve reacted like you in that kind of situation anyway..” you assured him with a slight smile

he smiled back, feeling better that you forgave him

he lifted your chin with his finger, “stay like that for a while,” 

he starts treating your wound

as he treats you, you wonder off into your own thoughts

‘how do i explain this to mother and father?..’ 

you thought about how worried they might be at the moment

while you were zoning out, seokmin got the perfect idea of teasing you, just to have a little fun 

taking a band aid, he came closer to your neck and placed in on the wound, but instead of pulling away, he

wait for it

he fr  e a k i n 

k i    s   s  e    s    y o   u   r    n  e   c    k

and bOI

were you hella flustered

you immediately pulled away and stared at him 

“w-wha- what the hell was that for?” you almost shouted

he started to laugh quietly, “nothing, just wanted to see how you’d react.”

you were as red as a cherry (bomb) and he found it really cute

*cue his adorbs giggles jfdkjvbssejnckj*

“well, you should really get some rest..” he got up and called a maid

the maid bowed to you, “greetings, miss y/n.”

you were shocked

“oh, hello, you don’t have to bow to me..” you told her

she smiled, “we really don’t mind, miss y/n, and it;s prince seokmin’s order to treat you royally.” 

you look to seokmin who had a slight smirk playing on his lips, “i told you you’d be treated like royalty.” 

the maid led you to your room and gave you a nightgown to change into 

“thank you,” you told her as she bowed and left

quickly changing into the nightgown, you plop down onto the soft bunch of pillows

you covered yourself with the blanket and fell asleep in an instant

the following morning, you woke up to see a note left on top of the bedside table

‘did you sleep well? hopefully, you did. breakfast is ready, meet me after you eat on the 8th floor. -prince seokmin’

you placed the note back on the bedside table and stretched

you see that a casual gown was left for you to change into

you bathed and did your hair, changing into the gown afterwards

you got to the dining room pretty quickly, you had a good sense of direction and could easily navigate through places

you finish eating breakfast and head to the 8th floor as seokmin said 

and as expected, you were greeted by a beaming seokmin

“come here,” he took your hand 

“where are we going exactly?” you asked and he gave a brief reply 

“my favorite place to go to.”

you found yourself in a room filled with various instruments and a stage 

seeing the harp that was displayed, you sat down and admired it

although you didn’t know how to play other instruments, your mother’s favorite instrument was the harp, and so it was yours too

“you know how to play?” seokmin asked you

you nodded and starting strumming the strings, creating beautiful melodies 

seokmin recognized the song and started singing along to it’s lyrics

you would be lying if you said you weren’t mesmerized by his voice

you almost strum the wrong strings, being distracted by his voice

“you play really well!” seokmin complimented you

you thanked him, telling him he had a really gifted voice 

you both spent quite a while just staying in that room, but he had princely duties to do so he took his leave first

you stayed though

you spent a good portion of your day just playing the harp and making more melodies and letting nostalgia engulf you

this went on for weeks and these meet ups gradually get longer and longer

sometimes neither of you notice that it’s already 10 pm or smth lmao

yall r cute jhcflcjhc--

one night, you were awaken by a knock on your door

you slowly get up and open the door to see a butler

“miss y/n.. i apologize for interrupting your sleep, but a woman who claims to be your aunt is downstairs, she says it’s an urgent matter.”

you quickly thank him and quickly rush downstairs to find your aunt crying hysterically

in a frantic state, you rush to her and ask her what was wrong

“y-your parents... y/n i-.. i’m so s-sorry..” she sobbed weakly

“w-why? what happened to them?” you asked, scared of knowing but in dire need to

“t-they.. they were murdered..”

tears brimmed your eyes 

“wha-.. h-how?” 

“someone broke in.. they robbed the house and shot them...” she explained trying to catch her breath

you on the other hand were hysteric

it dawned upon you that you haven’t tried contacting your parents and it’s been weeks since you’ve disappeared

you felt like a good for nothing daughter

you disappear for weeks and live a royal life, leaving your parents behind

you felt awful

the cries you let out eventually were heard by seokmin so he panicked

he went downstairs and saw you and your aunt crying

he got concerned and approached the both of you and asked what happened

since you were too upset to actually form coherent words, your aunt explained everything

seokmin felt bad and enraged that someone would do such a thing 

he told your aunt to spend the night here to ensure her safety and asked a maid to assist her to her room

slowly, he takes your arms from your face

“y/n?..” he engulfs you in a hug and lets you cry out your sadness

“hey..it’ll be alright.. we’ll catch them and give them the punishment they deserve..” he comforted you

“come, you should sleep, you’ll get a headache in the morning if you don’t.” he helped you to your room and tucked you in your bed

he stood up, about to exit your room

but you stopped him from doing so

“don’t leave..” your voice came out rough and weak from sobbing

hearing your plea, he couldn’t say otherwise

“i won’t..” 

he got into the bed with you and took your face in his hands

“don’t worry, okay?.. i’m always here for you..” he told you softly

you nodded 

“i-..” you paused,

“believe you.”

in that moment, seokmin took a risk

something that would change the way you see each other

getting closer (sumi chage--), he closed the gap between the both of you

he kissed you passionately, you could feel his love radiating from the kiss

pulling away, he ran his hand through your hair

“i love you, y/n..”

“i love you, too, seokmin..”

and you both fell asleep, cuddling each other

[roo-bastmoon]

I love jimin so much...so so much. He's hyping up hobi now.. he's an amazing person. he's so emotionally intelligent. The person whose gonna get him for Lifetime...is do damn lucky.like hella lucky. Evryone in the group have something special about them but the way jimin hits my heart...nobody did. And let me clear first that m not a jimin bias by d way..m jk bias and m clearing this bcz of what m going to say now( bcz when i said something against jikook, some jkkrs answers me like m a jimin bias thts why m victimizing him).

I just wanted to say that i fully fully agree with you. And i didn't even knew that he said he doesn't know jimin's any solo songs?? When he said tht? It's hurting me now...i mean really? And the things you mentioned... happened in the concerts..*sigh* i felt all of that too.jk is so moody i think...i mean i cant judge him bcz we don't him personally but it really feels like he behaves with jimin acc to his moods but wth other members... always close, respectful,and just...close and comfortable but with jimin...sometimes it really looks like..may jk feels now after years that he can do and said wtever he wants with jimin... doesn't matter jimin what jimin exactly feels. I don't even now wt m saying bcz there is a lot of things i want to say but basically m here bcz i wanted u to know tht i agree with you fully and jk is not same with jimin.

I just want them to be happy and respectful with eachother if they ever seprate from eachother bcz jimin also deserves hyping up, encouragement, compliment...even if with you was not hybes work but still as a friend...the members atleast said something on their vlive if not on ig but nothing happened and it hurts me so much.

I hear you, Nonie. There's no one on earth quite like Park Jimin and he deserves all the love and support. (JK mentioned not hearing Jimin's solo work during the festa dinner, and he aggressively teased Jimin about it, saying six times he was upset and making Jimin apologize. But Jimin did mention he invited all his members to come hear his songs, and only Yoongi heard the one he worked on and Hobi heard another b/c he happened to be in the building at the time.) I am Jimin biased and sometimes it hurts my heart to see how much emotional labor he does for others and how little he receives in return (at least publicly). But Jimin has said he's really bad at receiving support, and he is not a child or a victim; I've seen him stand up for himself too, so, I have to conclude the members express their true feelings for Jimin off camera. I hope so at least.

As for fellow Jikook fans, I look at their reluctance to discuss JK's moods and hot/cold treatment of Jimin as one of two things--1) either they have been rubbed raw by the cult attacking every little thing and/or insecure newbies constantly asking for reassurance, or 2) they were like me as a kid, angrily resistant to the idea of my parents getting divorced (until I realized they were better off that way). I suppose the third option is that they generally don't see anything off and are exasperated that others keep bringing up something they just genuinely don't register.

People invest a lot of emotion, time, effort, and identity into BTS and it can be heartwrenching to think any of the members are going through painful times, like breakups or scandals or whatever. Unlike the cult, I don't know a single Jikook supporter who has said they will unstan BTS, Jimin or Jungkook if Jikook isn't a thing. We all just want the boys to be happy, supported, appreciated, and treated fairly. If they are in love, bonus. If not, again, the real fans just want them to be fulfilled. <3

[letterstomyexboyfriends]

Letters to my ex-boyfriends #1

The Narcissist

I remember the first time I met you. Me, at a foam party, having the time of my life with my best friend. You, scoffing at the sides, having been dragged there by some mandatory social construct. Social constructs were always your thing anyway, obligations, doing this because you thought you should. Because in your mind doing them made you a perfect person. Oh how you were delighted to find me, the opposite of what you wanted. How delighted you were to feel superior to me, and me, teenage me, suffering from something on the opposite side of a God-complex, saw in you the confirmation of everything that was in my head. And I believed you. I saw in you the leader to my life I could never be, I saw in you my saviour from the lostness that was me. I saw in you the one who knows what he’s doing, who knows what’s up. Little did I know, the only thing climbing the ladder was you. And so the lost in a world of feeling second-rate teenager fell head over heels for you. The one who made her feel just exactly like that.  

       The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.                                    

                                                                —                Sahaj Kohli

Do you have any idea what it feels like to feel utterly worthless? To feel like you’ve no purpose on this earth, that you’re here only because your mother’s vagina decided to spit you out sometime because even that didn’t want you any more? Do you? I guess not. Because no, you think the world of yourself. You are so goddamn smart. And nice. And wonderful. Successful too, aren’t you a dream, huh. So then how come nobody likes you. No really. How come? Because they are too stupid to like you, you say. And I believed you. It was like I was part of the cult that was you, doe-eyed and misguided. Because you are smart. O yes, I’ll never deny that. But just because you’re smart doesn’t give you the right to make people feel like the ants on your shoes. Just because your smart, doesn’t give you the right to close your eyes to every other opinion, view, logical framework out there. Or maybe it does, who am I to tell you who to be.

    It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.                                            —                Epictetus                            

You never said it, no. But you made me feel it. Every goddamn day I was with you. How everything I did, thought, wanted, needed and breathed was useless, ridiculous and stupid. How you were the emperor of success and I was a rock at the bottom of a river. Rolled down by the grace of the water. Oh how I was lucky to be with you, you never failed to remind me. And I believed you, because you were so smart and so successful and everything you said made sense and everything I said was dismisseable. If I wanted cheese on a sandwich you would even talk me out of it, and I let you. Because I respected you. And I respected your opinion. And in the end I just didn’t care enough about the cheese to fight for it and it was easier to just agree, to just say ‘yeah, you’re right, cheese really does belong on a tosti and not a sandwich.’ Nothing I felt existed unless you decided it did. If it didn’t fit into your logical framework, it could not exist. My feelings were never valid, as yours always were. And I let you. Because I looked up to you, and I had hope. You’d say I’d drive you crazy if I’d be near you for more than two weeks, you’d say you didn’t feel like ‘me’ today and that I should leave. You’d ignore me, sitting sadly on your bed feeling miserable about failing exams, because you just didn’t do feelings. And I should quit my whining.

I was quiet, but I was not blind                    

                                                —                Jane Austen

How you loved talking about yourself, how you indulged in my interest in your life.   Because I cared, I listened to you, I asked you how your day was even when I was down and I’d listen to your endless ramblings about things I knew nothing about. Really listen. And I was happy for you, because it made you  happy. Because if you’re happy, I’m happy, right? That’s how it works, right? But if I’m ever happy happy it must be because of one of those stupid loser things I do, those useless redundant contributions to life you think are below your snobbish little materialistic standards. Oh sure, you love your new designer green floors, but not the way the proximity of a dog makes me light up. Because dogs suck, right? And I am stupid for liking them. never would you pass up on an opportunity to talk down all that I was and all that I loved. Never addressing me personally, no. But I felt it, the wrath of your harsh judgement on what I felt was my soul. Chipping away at it, bit by bit, until I’d remain paralysed in your view of what I should be.

You think that disapproving glare works on me after after all the times I’ve seen it?      

       —  Carter to Captain Mitchell, Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue

You have a job, a real job. And wouldn’t you ever let anyone forget it. And your field of study is the only field of study that matters, the only one that’s actually worth a dime, right? And because you have a job, a real job, anyone doing anything else is dismissible and useless to you. But guess what, you can be a jerk regardless. Even with a job, you’re just a jerk with a job. And while you were at it, my field of study was a complete joke. Of course. I recently watched an episode of the big bang theory where Sheldon tells his girlfriend just how useless her field of study is and how superior his is and you know what, that is just what you are. Selfish and unnecessarily harshly entitled.

   You’re sick of me but I won’t blame you. I blame myself for everything.  

                                       —                Despondent                            

But you know, I blame myself. I blame myself for dating you, because I knew exactly what you were. I blame myself for staying with you, because I saw exactly what you did. I blame myself for blaming you, because it’s not your fault that I’m stupid enough to stay. I blame myself for not accepting you the way you are and for wanting you to change. I stayed because I had hope, I hoped that one day your words would ring true. That one day the words I care and I love you would show and not just reverberate as useless syllables in my head. They always say optimistic people are stupid and negative people less disappointed. You know, they’re right. Because if I’d wanted to see the bad in you and not the good then I would’ve left you a long time ago. I would’ve known that you don’t know what the word love or care means, tht you only take and have no ability to give. It’s not your fault, it’s just who you are. And it’s my fault for asking you for it, when I should’ve known you could never deliver. I would’ve known that those words would never mean anything, that your condescending, dismissive, haughty attitude towards me meant that you liked my attention. But that you never liked me. Nor loved. Because this is not how you treat the people you love, or maybe YOU do. But this, this is not enough and too much all at once.

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.

                                     —             Roy T. Bennett_ The light in the heart

But you know, I love me too and I love me too much to stay with you. To let you destroy me. Because I love you and that gives you the power to destroy me. That means I respect your opinion, I take it to heart and care about it. And I’m worried that if I stay with you any longer and listen to you drill me into the ground day after day, that I’ll start believing you. And to me that’s the worst thing, to see myself as you see me. To change into all tat I’m not by melting into your favourite cheeseless mold. You do not make me smile when I am down, I do. Because if I am down you blame me for it, dismiss it as if anything not logical to you is pishposh and leave me there to wither.

Giving up doesn’t always mean your weak sometimes your just strong enough to let go

                                                                —             Taylor Swift

I remember when I finally saw myself for what I was, having outgrown my teenage existential crisis the world seemed bluer than before. And friendlier. And me, I was friendlier to me. And friendlier me would not let you talk to me like I had done for so long, because I’d done nothing to deserve it. Only be myself and not what you so desperately wanted me to be. You. I realised I wasn’t what you thought of me and the world wasn’t as you preached it to be. And I gave up on you. I’m sorry, I had to give up on you. I know that I am your only hope and I know you know, but you are my one and only downfall and leaving you will be my only hope. I’m sorry, because I know you can’t understand me as I can you. I’m sorry for making you feel like I would stay, even tough I feel like I shouldn’t be sorry after everything you did. But you didn’t do it to spite me, or at least I’d like to believe you did not. You do not know any better nor can you accept any other view on it.  Ever since you I’ve have a memo plastered to my wall, it reads simply: ‘Does he make you feel good about yourself?’ To remind me of my time with you, every day. To remind me to never fall for it again. To never fall for you again, in any form. Because with you, the answer was and will forever be no. I’ve always respected you as a person and let you be yourself and you never cared to reciprocate. You never failed to let an opportunity pass by to smash my interests, my passions, my thoughts, my sense of being right into the floor. Because if it’s not logical to you, it should not exist. And thanks to you, I will try and help myself feel again. Help myself feel like my feelings matter and my feelings get to exist despite what people think of them. That I get to be afraid of driving on a dark road surrounded by low-hanging trees, even though it’s just driving. And I will try to get your voice out of my head. And someday I will. You know what, I felt something, and based on it I made an entirely logical decision. And now you don’t get to exist.

[diiagnose]

[10:00:39 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & audrey & arden & if she ever rly loved him [10:01:23 PM] madam mum.: mood [10:01:32 PM] madam mum.: whats the short answer to it [10:01:37 PM] (m)emery lee raye: yeah [10:01:55 PM] (m)emery lee raye: she Did in her own fucked up way & tbh probably still does [10:02:08 PM] (m)emery lee raye: they Both will love each other forever, but they jst clash & bring out the worst in each other [10:03:00 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & audrey somehow managed this ,, constant love / hate ?? where she loved him but also hated him [10:03:38 PM] (m)emery lee raye: bc she will always view him as beneath her , & ?? reputation & where u stand in the wrld & ur Success is a big deal to her bc her parents drilled tht into her , [10:04:17 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & so then theres arden who , when they met ?? he was a Nobody, a Loser in school , but ,, there was smth abt him tht drew her to him & she Hated it bc tht wasn't her Type [10:04:38 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but then she started falling for him but in her head She Deserved Better & tht's why she was always cheating [10:05:07 PM] (m)emery lee raye: bc while she loved arden , she ,, also felt like she was getting the short end of the deal ?? tht he was getting more out of it than She was getting [10:05:45 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & thts why she treated him so badly bc she viewed His Actions as toxic , as Bad so she jst "if ur not going to treat me like i deserve, why should u get tht luxury??" [10:06:17 PM] (m)emery lee raye: bc she feels like everyone has to Earn being treated w respect , & he rarely did anything to make her believe tht he Earned tht [10:07:09 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & then thts why she finally divorced him bc ,, he was getting too much. to add onto what he already had. he now was schizophrenic, even more unstable , & she jst , felt tht he would hold her back, plus she was jst scared of herself sometimes when she was around him ?? idk he brought out this bad abusive side of her more than anyone ever has bt . she lies to herself & says tht Isn’t why she left him bt instead bc of his Failures [10:07:42 PM] (m)emery lee raye: bc his grades Dropped a little while she was trying to take care of him & she jst , "i can't do this anymore" bc for her ?? her Success & place in life will Always be more important than arden [10:07:54 PM] (m)emery lee raye: career > love [10:07:57 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & , yeah [10:07:59 PM] (m)emery lee raye: there u go [10:08:02 PM] madam mum.: I LOVE [10:08:29 PM] madam mum.: ok we know that arden is incapable of having a healthy long term committed relationship, but what abt audrey [10:08:32 PM] madam mum.: if it wasnt for arden [10:09:32 PM] (m)emery lee raye: u see thts the thing , these r two v dysfunctional ppl tht are bad enough on their own, but when put together are ,, dysfunctionally imperfect in the Perfect way [10:09:50 PM] (m)emery lee raye: both of them are horrible at long term relationships, but somehow they were together for ten years [10:10:38 PM] (m)emery lee raye: i believe this was only possibly arden rarely felt like audrey was fully w him ?? in the first few years on their relationship, no one knew they were dating it ,, it wasn't Real ?? his mom knew but it was rarely a topic brought up [10:11:30 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & then on audreys side of things ?? she never rly , fully committed herself to him ?? she was always cheating, so there was never tht sense of Commitment ,,,,,,, until [10:11:32 PM] (m)emery lee raye: marriage [10:11:36 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & even before tht [10:11:39 PM] (m)emery lee raye: when they moved in together [10:12:13 PM] (m)emery lee raye: suddenly, out of nowhere, they decided "the second [ arden ] turn eighteen, why dont we move out??" [10:12:15 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & they did , [10:13:09 PM] (m)emery lee raye: audrey was a year Older than him & so she already had a place for them to stay & arden had moved his stuff there asap after his mom died & then , it was after they Truly moved in together tht things became Real [10:13:22 PM] (m)emery lee raye: they had this sort of , honeymoon phase almost ?? bc now they were Openly in a relationship [10:13:40 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & it was all brand new & they were !! young & in love [10:14:10 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & then this was only Further pushed by proposal ( even if audrey Did want a Better One w a Better Ring ) [10:14:58 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & then they got married , & before this ?? audrey never rly got physical w him bc ,, they rarely saw each other for long periods of time alone ?? so there was never rly Time for tht , they'd get in fights & sometimes they'd get Intense but thts the Worst tht it got [10:15:37 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but after they were married ?? they had already been living together for more than a year i think ,, they were going to the same uni , had the same friends ( it was actually mostly jst audreys friends & arden tagged along ) things were , getting Stressful [10:15:58 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & it was on their honeymoon tht audrey hit arden for the first time & they were both , Shocked by it [10:16:54 PM] (m)emery lee raye: tho not Immediately for audrey bc , she had been in this ?? haze ?? & it jst happened & it was a lil while later tht , audrey was Disgusted w herself & arden jst , comforted her & told her tht she didnt mean it , it was Okay, he forgave her [10:16:57 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & then it ,, got worse [10:17:45 PM] (m)emery lee raye: bc even Before this incident, ever since they got together almost, audrey had been p controlling ?? & definitely abusive, but Neither of them saw what she did or how she acted as abuse so it never rose any red flags [10:18:05 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but this ?? they both saw this as bad, as abuse, & they jst , decided to forget that it happened & Move On [10:18:14 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but then it happened again , & again,,,,,, & it kept happening [10:18:39 PM] (m)emery lee raye: they both didn't know what to do, bc they Loved each other, but they also wanted to Kill each other almost Constantly, [10:19:00 PM] (m)emery lee raye: it was , one of the most toxic dynamics u can imagine , & it went on for Years before audrey finally put her foot down [10:19:18 PM] (m)emery lee raye: it was then she told him tht she hasnt loved him for a long time ,, & that was untrue [10:19:49 PM] (m)emery lee raye: bc she Did love him, & Still loved him at the time of the divorce, but she knew if he knew tht, he'd try to convicne her to give the whole relationship another chance [10:20:37 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but she didn't want tht bc she has turned into his manipulative, toxic, abusive person & she can't recognize herself anymore & !! she knows she was never a good partner, ( even if she will sometimes convince her tht she Is ,, which reminds me tht i think she has npd but Anyway ) [10:20:46 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & so shes doing it for both of them [10:21:00 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & in canon ?? she gets married again & has kids, [10:21:11 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & it isn't even bc she Wants to , its bc her parents push her into it [10:21:17 PM] (m)emery lee raye: they want grandchildren , they want her to have a Family [10:21:47 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & so she does , she tries Again w someone new & their relationship ,,, she still cheats , but shes not abusive [10:21:57 PM] (m)emery lee raye: save for the , cheating thing which [10:22:01 PM] (m)emery lee raye: ig can be considered abuse [10:22:04 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but u know what i mean [10:22:08 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & yeah , she doesn't love him tho [10:22:13 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but she doesn't hate him [10:22:20 PM] (m)emery lee raye: she jst , thinks hes okay [10:22:48 PM] (m)emery lee raye: he has a respectable place in the world & she decides tht thts Enough [10:22:59 PM] (m)emery lee raye: so the way she moved on was rushing into a relationship ,, [10:23:08 PM] (m)emery lee raye: but arden never moved on ( in canon, at least, ) [10:23:15 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & tbh even in happy au ?? he will always love her [10:23:32 PM] (m)emery lee raye: no matter the au, they will Always love each other, but no matter what, they'll never be happy together, [10:23:39 PM] (m)emery lee raye: & That Is The Tragedy Of Arden & Audrey [10:23:43 PM] (m)emery lee raye: fin

[sonnet009]

Anonymous said:

hey sonnet! great job w ran's route, he was really cute. I had a q, who're the most jealous of the djinns? How do they behave when they're jealous?

I can’t really answer this properly without spoiling some things in future routes. I will say, however, that Amir and Jamal are most likely to be openly jealous, whereas Ran, Bahadur, and Royo would be more inclined to keep it to themselves.

Anonymous said:

Hey ! ✨ (sorry if you already answered this question) what are those marks on Ran's body ? I love your games , thank you for existing 💛

Scars, from his “training”. (And, awww, thank you!)

Anonymous said:

Heyo! Love Aloners and Wilder! I also really like the music to both. I just had a question, could I have the track names to Wilder? I'm going to the website that you lead everybody to, but can't find them ^^; Thank you!

It’s a long list, so lemme just say that you can find the names of each track in the credits -- either in-game or as a .txt file in the game’s main directory. ^_^

Anonymous said:

May I ask if Amir route will be released after Bahadur's?

Yes, Amir will be next after Bahadur.

Anonymous said:

I had no idea that Wilder was out. I've left a comment on your blog before. I was probably babbling about how much I enjoyed Aloners.. but I've gone ahead and purchased it! The demo was incredible and I'm looking forward to the full gameplay now. :) Thank you for sharing your talents with us. All the best to you ~s

Thank you, anon! I hope you enjoy Ran’s Story. ^_^

(Spoiler-y asks below...)

Anonymous said:

First, I love your work and I'm quite excited for Bahadur. I literally check every day if it's up! I had one quick question that has been bugging me. When MC is in the woods and Ran finds out she's been hit what goes on in his mind? There is a moment where she notices he looks away which I generally get the sense of but I've always been intrigued to know what is he thinking? Is it like a "my people have changed" or what?

When Ran sees that MC has been hit, it’s a sort of a moment of realisation for him -- he may have felt that she was a burden, and been happy to abandon her without a second thought, but in that moment it upsets him that someone hurt her. And that’s because he knows, no matter his contempt, she is just a lost young girl who couldn’t have deserved that kind of violence. 

I think, until that point, Ran had a very “it doesn’t matter to me what happens to her” kind of feeling. But when faced with the reality of what actually happened and what was going to happen to her, Ran discovered that he does have a sense of responsibility for MC -- at least enough to stick around and keep an eye on things that night.

Anonymous said:

hey sonnet! i just played ran's route, and I LOVED it. Seriously, it was cute. Except for the parts tht made me ridiculously sad. The only thing tht bothered me a little was how hasty the end felt. Ran tells you he's a monster and you can never be together but then seeks you out of his own accord? It just bothered me tht we didn't get any sort of insight into his mindset @ tht point and I was hoping you could elaborate maybe! wht's he thinking then?

Ran’s epilogue (coming with the full version of Wilder) should help clear up many of this thoughts and feelings in that moment, plus give a look into what happened after that...

Anonymous said:

all through ran's route, i really wanted him to taste smth sweet for some reason! like a really good pastry or smth like that, since i feel like he might never have had that and i wanted MC to see his reaction.

Aw, that’s cute! I think his first master might have treated him from time to time. But, yeah, it’s probably been a looooong time since he tasted anything good and sweet.

Anonymous said:

does ran's ending change based on whether or not you tell him you love him? i can never make the mean choice so i haven't played to find out ;_________;

There are two endings, decided by the big choices you make -- one per chapter (the ones with the black screen and heartbeat). If you don’t tell Ran you love him, it pushes you further towards the “Bitter” ending, but it isn’t enough on its own to guarantee that you’ll get it.

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.