#( god i don't need to add marzia as a muse.

[moralityblurred]

my roommates are out of town this weekend so i took advantage and watched CMBYN on the tv instead of just on my phone lol

and god i forgot just how much of a dick elio and oliver are to each other in the first part of the movie. elio’s just an asshole period, but so is oliver!! elio’s just that typical contrary teenager, acting cool, acting out and being douchey, while oliver is this cocky guy who argues etymology pretentiously with the prof and needles elio every chance he gets ( i mean, bcuz he already KNOWS elio likes him & is probably being such a douche bcuz he likes him, so he’s trying to get him to show his cards. ) but god they are just such jerks to each other, which i forget bcuz i usually just watch the second portion of the movie starting with their first time and they are so fucking sweet to each other afterwards.

also i laugh every single time i see gifs or watch where elio & oliver are making out against the wall in rome and oliver’s head just POPS up when he hears the music. he looks like a fucking meerkat.

i lasted until sammy’s speech this time before i broke down crying. and then i was okay for a little while until elio was staring into the fireplace and crying. i know i’ve felt crushed like that before, but i’ve also never had what he and oliver had, not that intensely, so i can imagine the sheer weight of grief. ofc, reading the book, there’s some things that are conveyed there that don’t quite make it to the screen, but then, things happen a lot differently too. i love both versions, honestly.

it’s going to be really interesting to see how they adapt find me to the screen. will they try to age up the actors to match the book’s timeline? or will they fiddle with the timeline instead. i feel like some of the impact will be lost if they change it too drastically. that’s part of the reason it hits me so hard is the time that elapses before elio can even bring himself to go see oliver again, but also how much chemistry there still is between them, to the point where they know if they’re alone in the wrong place ( right place??? ) they’ll fall right back into it again.

okay and also, one last thing: elio & marzia were really cute together and i could have handled them being a thing after. they both knew elio would never love her like he loved oliver, but...they still had something nice.