#( but I guess we'll see if this rpc is even still active )

[helltainted]

Considering a complete overhaul. As in, new icons. Maybe. We'll see.

[cursedfortune]

i’ve been thinking after this recent ask i’ve received. without any follow-up my mind is left sort of wandering about in all directions.

i genuinely think most issues are caused by miscommunications than actual intentional harm. when i say communication is important to me, i mean it. when i say i need details to help my brain process, i mean it. i came from a household that lacked these things and i don’t want my future to be lacking it like my past did.

effort isn’t easy. it doesn’t just happen. it’s an active choice people have to decide to act upon. it’s okay if the ball drops, if mistakes happen - what’s important is hearing the person out, recognizing it and trying to do better than the last time.

despite whatever thoughts/feelings i have over something, personal or otherwise, i’m very rarely going to deny communication. whether things get hashed out or it’s just to get closure to a chapter in our lives and move on. these things have value.

i think, like a lot of folks in the rpc, i could sit here and list off a bunch of things as to why this or that matters. because i’ve spent years figuring out why i am the way that i am and how to best exist - doing my best to improve as a person even if i don’t necessarily always feel like one. a lot of the time it feels like a tall order to be a decent person when just being the bare minimum of a person is already hard in itself.

i’m really not someone with a bias because of how i developed. whether you’re a stranger or a close friend, someone i like or dislike, someone who likes or dislikes me, or just generally indifferent-- it doesn’t matter to me. the door is always open if you need to talk or need a distraction. i’ve never minded supporting people because i get what it’s like to go through life without it. or to have support ripped away by circumstances out of your control.

i know everyone in the rpc has people they are mutuals with that aren’t friends any longer. i know that for some folks, i’m in that position. and that’s okay. i just want to reassure people that i don’t care if you’re friends with someone i’m not anymore. if you have concerns about this or that, if you have weird feelings on it, you can tell me. if it seems necessary to divulge certain private matters, i’ll share if someone needs more context of something - if they feel caught between and don’t have the whole story in order to decide if they want to do something. i get it. i investigate and determine for myself if i want to separate from someone. i'm not going to hinder someone if i'm the one someone is debating over separating over, feel free to ask me whatever.

god, lmao. this was mainly supposed to be me leaving a small reassurance that: i’m unbiased whether i’m the friend in the middle of two people (or more) who are no longer friends, or whether i’m one of the friends involved that’s no longer friends with someone (but you still are). and if you need or want to talk it out (whether you or i are personally involved or indirectly involved), tell me. the last thing i want is unintentional harm being done. communication can be scary but it’s really not as hard as people may think or feel it is, and doing a little goes a long way. hell, just showing up to the conversation is better than never showing up at all.

you can argue none of this matters and we're all just strangers on the internet, but even strangers are still people. it's more rare that someone sincerely deserves cruelty vs having a conversation about an issue.

bleh. i'm trying to be well but instead i'm just rambling. we'll see if i delete this or not i guess. if anything here confuses anyone, sorry. feel free to ask for clarification. <3