#( … ) // If you’ve seen the rules on Chris’ blog

[grieverled-moved]

❏           This is an  independent writing blog for SQUALL LEONHART from the  FINAL FANTASY 8 / KINGDOM HEARTS . I am mutually exclusive, & will likely not follow first unless I know the other writer to some extent. If I follow you first, ' chances are I want to write with you. 18+ is the age for following & for normal interactions, but anything delving into darker / more mature territory will only be done with others that are   21+ .  I WILL NOT interact with Minors.

❏           Both Squall  &  the series itself deal heavily with mentions of war  &  its after effects. There are also mentions of existentialism, depression, child soldiers  &  darker, more mature themes revolving around death & memory loss. If you’re uncomfortable with anything mentioned, I highly advise you not to follow or interact with me. A reminder that anything written here is purely fictional — I am not my Muse.

G E N E R A L .

❏           MAINS / EXCLUSIVES - GENERAL ( … ) I do practice Mains  —  but rare is it I practice Exclusives. A main is someone whose lore is greatly tied with & heavily influences my own, therefore, they will have their interactions prioritized first. Anyone that’s been a mutual for a long enough, has written with me or talked a fair amount out of character can ASK to be my Main  &  are more then welcome to tie-in or take from my lore for their own muse if we have Verses developed.

❏           WORLD-BUILDING ( … ) I will always try to adhere to another’s world-building in the event it’s preferred over following my own. I do feel there should be some talk beforehand & some compromises in case lore conflicts or clashes, but I usually try to nudge Squall into whoever I’m interacting with’s lore for my writing partner’s comfort.

❏           DRAMA ( … ) I don’t participate in drama. I avoid involving myself unless it’s genuinely serious — such as a writer displaying behaviours that are dangerous ( obsessive / going out of their way to stalk or harass others, homophobia / transphobia / racism / pedophilia ). In those cases, I will reblog a call out post with the intention of informing others, but nothing more. If the situation calls for it, I will make an informed decision privately  &  decide whether or not I will cease interactions.

❏           SOFTBLOCKING ( … ) I usually go on a softblocking spree once a month to clear out archived / inactive blogs & blogs I can’t see myself interacting with in the future. It’s nothing personal & if there is interest in interacting again in the future, I fully support re-following!

❏           HARDBLOCKING ( … ) I usually only hardblock when I want to completely cut ties with someone. However, if there ever is any sort of issue between me & another writer, if it’s a situation where I feel comfortable enough — I will try to explain beforehand why I am cutting contact before hardblocking. I fully support curating one’s own space, so I support needing to break Mutuals in any way to ensure your blog space is a safe place. While communicating is still a skill I am learning, I want to do better moving forwards with this, & want to practice being transparent with writing partners.

❏           REGARDING TWINS ( … ) I love Duplicates / Twins! I am always willing to make a twin / sibling verse or create one for Mutuals who share the same muse. I’m a firm believer that each portrayal is different, unique to the mun writing them  &  bringing them to life, so please know that my blog is safe to poke for twin shenanigans or to follow.

❏           REGARDING MULTIMUSE’S / OCS ( … ) I am Multimuse & OC friendly! Though for Original Characters, while I am open to interactions, I am selective  —  please have an about page / post / Google doc available to look over as it helps me tremendously in learning about your muse!

❏          GODMODDING ( … )  I don’t mind my muse being manhandled / injured / wounded, but please allow me to write my muse’s reactions in turn. If I ever do plan to take a thread in a more violent direction, I will message you beforehand to make sure it’s alright  —  I expect this in return. If I ever do something in a thread you don’t like, please message me  &  I’ll edit my post. Communication is key.

❏         ARCHIVING THREADS ( … ) I will often reblog ask replies from partners to archive / save them. There won’t be a guarantee that I’ll always reply  —  I’m only selective so I don’t overwhelm myself  —  but if you’d ever like to turn a response of my own or yours into a thread, don’t hesitate to let me know.

❏         BEST WAY TO INTERACT ( … ) Askmemes! It helps me get a good feel of our muses, on whether their dynamic works or they mesh well or not. Plotting generally happens once there’s more of a solid dynamic built to build off of.

S H I P P I N G .

❏        SEXUALITY / ORIENTATION ( … ) My Portrayal of Squall is Biromantic Demisexual.

❏          SHIPPING STATUS ( … ) My blog is a multi-ship one.  I love exploring all sorts of dynamics  &  giving rarepairs a try  —  they just need to be within comfort for me  &  we need to communicate ooc to Plot things out. But I am always open to discuss a ships potential. All I ask is that there is direct, blunt communication regarding this. Tell me upfront what kind of relationship you want with Squall — only hinting / vagueing / expecting me to catch on that you want to ship without telling me about it will fly right over my head otherwise, so I greatly encourage talking to me about possible dynamics.

❏         MAINS / EXCUSIVES — REGARDING SHIPS ( … ) I am open to doing many of the same ships with other people unless it’s been stated otherwise. There will be rare times where I will click very well with another writer & we’ll create a very unique dynamic that I grow to adore to the point I admittedly won’t feel the desire to write with a duplicate of their muse. In those cases, I’ll also be open to accepting ship exclusivity for my writing partner’s comfort — so long as its discussed ooc first.

❏          Each writer will have their own unspoken verse ( unless I’ve made one for us specifically )  & Squall is always faithful to whomever he’s in a relationship with. I do not tolerate possessiveness / jealousy shown ooc regarding my other ship partners. It is a huge trigger of mine to be restricted / made to feel bad in such a way so please be mindful or you will be hard blocked.

N O T S A F E F O R W O R K C O N T E N T .

❏          There will be mature content explored on this blog given the series nature itself. I am well over the age of 21, therefore I will not interact with anyone under the age of 21 regarding NSFW content. Anything falling into NSFW territory will always be tagged accordingly. If you do not wish to see such content then please blacklist / block the following tags:

╰┈➤ CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS. / NOT SO SAFE DESIRES.

❏          I will only write explicit NSFW with people I know  &  trust  —  there will be no exceptions to this. Smut / NSFW is a subject that is tricky for me to tackle  &  while I enjoy writing it, I need to be in the right headspace for it,  &  muses need to have enough of a chemistry / connection for me to be invested. I also only want to explore spicier scenarios within a safe, comfortable environment  —  again, with close friends / writers I trust.

❏          TRIGGERS / TAGGED TRIGGERS ( … ) I will take care to tag the more common ones. If you are a mutual of mine who needs anything specifically tagged, please let me know through DMs so I am made aware what to tag in the future.

M I S C E L L A N E O U S .

❏         REPLY LENGTH ( … ) I am a literate roleplayer with an admitted preference for longer plot heavy threads. While I do respect lengthier  &  more detailed responses  — it’s not a requirement  &  I never go into an interaction expecting it. So long as you’re giving effort to reply  &  actively showing interest in our threads, I don’t mind shorter ones. Please never feel obligated or pressured to match my length — I’m here to build a story with you, not to judge you on how much you can write.

❏           PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME ( … )   I do not mind waiting for replies at all  &  I understand that life comes up  &  not everyone can sit to write everyday. I’ll never take it personally or try to pressure you. Please do things at your own pace  &  know there’s never a time limit or deadline on when to reply to our threads. I am also a snail when it comes to them so I completely understand.

[f10werfae]

Silly Me

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Singer!Reader

Summary: Innocent flirting between two stars + a cockblock James Corden = ??

- Requests are open! (May take longer because I have a few to write)

Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️

Welcome To The Fae Station: Full Masterlist✨

Library of Henry Cavill: Henry Cavill Masterlist♥️

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(Y/n's P.O.V)

Fixing my two piece outfit, which consisted of a corset and flares, I stood by the stage as James Corden spoke to the audience.

Having known James for years due to both being from the UK, it was practically tradition for me to come onto his show every time I produced a new album.

Walking to the sofa, the cheers of the audience filled my ears as my long term best friend smiled at me teasingly. What was that all about?

“Hello Y/n, it’s been a while since the last time i’ve seen you” He beamed his arms going up in the air dramatically, bringing me in for a massive bear hug, this man was basically my older brother in the industry.

“I know I know, i’ve been pretty busy with the album and promotions, you know how it is”

“So this is your new album, Waves” James pulled out the new vinyl I produced, the cover a deep blue resembling the ocean, ripples towards the outer corner with a girl seeming to be drifting along in the middle.

“Tell us, what’s it about? Because the artwork itself is so unique”

“Well it’s kind of a long story? Growing up I always loved seeing the ocean, the moon, all that sorta stuff. My greatest thoughts or genuine happiest moments are by the ocean or looking at the moon. So these songs are supposed to resemble the emotions I felt in those moments if that makes sense” I explained, trying to choose my words carefully, knowing damn well my album had a complicated enough origin story.

“That’s brilliant, I actually can’t wait to hear the songs, when’s it come out again?”

“SEPTEMBER 22ND SO PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDARS” I shouted at the audience laughing,

“Alright now, how about a game?” James said cocking an eyebrow up, holding a projector clicker in his right hand.

“That doesn’t sound good” I replied nervously, my hands going to cup my own face, as I watched the words 'Who would you rather?' pop up on the massive screen behind us.

“Oh crap I already know what you’re doing”

“The rules of the game are simple, I show two famously handsome men and you choose between the two”

“Alright alright lets go” I waved dismissively, turning my body sideways to look at the screen.

“Harry Styles or Zayn Malik”

“See i’ve collaborated with both and they’re both such amazing people and artists-“

“This isn’t about professionalism love, who would you choose to marry?”

“Eh uh- probably Zayn?”

“Alright Zayn Malik, or Chris Hemsworth?”

“Chris Hemsworth, i’m sorry Zayn but that man is a dilf”

“Chris Hemsworth, or Anthony Mackie”

“Anthony Mackie, he makes me laugh”

“See isn’t this game easy?” James asked showing that I had nothing to worry about

“Anthony or Henry Cavill”

“Henry Cavill”

“That was quick Y/n”

“Yeah yeah i know, can you blame me though?”

“Henry Cavill, or Sebastian stan?”

“Henry”

“Henry Cavill, or Tom Holland”

“You of all people should know i’m sticking with Henry to the end James, that man is perfection”

“Oh really”James quirked

“Hell yeah”

“Have you met him before”

“ONCE, and it was on the premiere for The Witcher, he smiled at me for a good three seconds” I fan-girled, feeling my stomach start to bubble up with butterflies.

“Right well here’s your second time then, COME ON OUT HENRY!”

“Hold on wha-“

Turning towards the side stage I saw the one and only Henry Cavill, smiling and waving at the audience as he walked towards James and I. Looking back at James, I felt myself melt knowing he did this on purpose, he knew Henry was my major celebrity crush.

“Henry you can sit beside the lovely Y/n there” Within seconds I was no longer alone on the sofa, Henry’s hand laying across the back of the chair making me squeal internally.

“So Henry you’ve been listening in haven’t you?”

“Indeed I have”

“This is so embarrassing” I cringed, my head falling into my hands as laughter surrounded me from both the audience and the two men beside me.

“i’m quite flattered love to be honest, it’s not everyday a gorgeous woman like yourself seems to be interested”

“Shut up you’re Henry Cavill, you’ve got trucks load of women waiting to even see you” I snarked back jokingly, finally making eye contact with him for the first time since he joined us on set.

“Well, they’re not you are they?” He replied back cheekily, his flirt not going unnoticed with the whole crowd 'oo' ing at our interaction.

Deciding not to even try to respond back I looked back at James who had now stood up, gesturing us to follow him to a nearby table.

“Hell no James, you’re a prick for this” Standing a few feet away, I saw the dreaded 'Spill your guts or fill your guts' set up, multiple dishes covered up with three chairs.

“Oh come on Y/n, it’s all part of the experience, just because you’re my fav doesn’t mean you get off that easy”

Huffing out I walked towards my seat, only to have it pulled out by Henry who sent me a devilishly handsome smirk before I thanked him

“Okay Y/n, i’m going to give you the Bull's penis” James laughed turning the table towards me, both him and Henry grimacing at the sight of the thing.

“Ugh how fitting” I joked prodding at it with my fork, my throat already closing up at the thought of even swallowing that thing.

“Okay your question is, what attracts you to Mr.Cavill here?”

“You’re such a prick James, I really don’t wanna eat this penis.”

“Well then answer the question”

“First off he’s fit, from what i’ve heard from mutual friends he has such an adorable and loving personality and he has a cute dog” I finished looking at James, trying to avoid the visible smirk on Henry's face from the side.

“Okay, Henry I give you the Cow's tongue” I squirmed, rolling it towards him as he took in a deep breath, then sat up right to his full height which was even more intimidating.

“The card asks, what’s your ideal woman?”

“You” He answered bluntly, his arms crossing over his chest in victory,

“B-but you don’t even know me”

“That’s what you think gorgeous”

“Wait what do you mean-“

“Anyway lovebirds hate to interrupt you, but it’s my turn” James laughed leaning forward onto the table, grimacing when he accidentally touched the bird sperm

“Okay James you’ll get the bird sperm then for being a cockblock” Henry sighed out, his hand going out for a card which he dropped onto the floor.

“Silly me” He chuckled deeply, but when he came to sit back up his hand dragged up my leg under the table cloth, my body freezing at his touch, in a good way. Tingles spreading through all my nerves.

[stvckwithaphobia]

— PUNISHMENT [bang chan] 💵

content/warning. bang chan x female reader — securityguard!chan + shoplifter!reader — smut/pwp — dom/sub dynamics — rough sex — unprotected penetrative sex (don’t do this) — implied oral (m receiving) — sir kink — reader gets called slut, babygirl, good girl

word count. 1.0k

note. this is a reupload of my own post published on 22/10/02 on this blog — thank you so much for 100 followers and the generous feedback on my last post?? would have never expected it to gain so much success — I hope you will enjoy this one in case you come across this :)

important. minors do not interact, this is 18+ content — none of the characters are supposed to imitate real people, any coincidences with names and places are just for the sake of fiction — if you enjoy this content pls consider leaving a comment or reblogging this!

—

-

-

-

It’s all wrong. All a big fucking stupid idea and you know it. Still, you can’t help it. Almost magically, the pair of glimmery shining earrings land inside your purse. You make sure no one notices.

But you don’t make sure of it enough.

Getting behind the barrier of the exit of the store is one thing—you’ve managed that part just fine.

Whereas leaving without the security guard witnessing the guilt hiding in your face is another level of obscurity.

“Ms, could I have a look inside your purse please?”

His voice startles you, quite loud but also not loud enough for the other customers to notice.

“W-Why do you need to do that?”

He takes two steps towards you, looking right into your face and getting aware of the anxiety plastered all over it. The name on his uniform reads ‘Christopher Bang’.

“Ms, I’ve seen you put some jewelry inside your bag. You can either open the purse now or follow me to the back room and we’ll discuss it there until the police officer arrives.”

You gulp. The big lump of saliva that has built up in your throat slides down—with the last piece of hope. But you won’t give up. You can’t. You’re deeply fucked. This is a whole shitshow and you’re the protagonist.

“No,” you simply say.

“Preferring the hard way? Alright, then please follow me.”

What are your options anyway? You’ve decided to choose the less embarrassing one, after all he would have caught you anyway. You're guilty. You're guilty and he knows it. You know it, too. A fucking bad job in hiding it is what you’re doing.

Only a small desk lamp enlightens the cramped room, a table is placed in the middle with a folding chair in front of it. Your breath hitches once you realise he’s standing right behind you, carefully tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. So it’s easier to whisper to you.

“I’ll give you an option here. Like a chance of redemption if you wanna call it that.”

You swallow again. His heavy breathing is drowned out by your heartbeat pulsating up into your ears. It’s deafening.

“W-What is that?”

The security guard’s big hand lands on your front upper thigh. Roughly he squeezes the flesh through the thick material of your jeans but you don’t deny any of his actions—it’s rather the opposite. The anticipation is killing you and you’re striving for more.

“You can seek your punishment here, with me, and I’ll forget about what you did earlier.”

The idea shoots a tingling sensation straight down to your core. You’re helpless. You’re defeated. But you’re eager for what’s yet to come.

“Okay.”

Chris is surprised about you agreeing so quickly but he doesn’t mind at all. His hot breath still lingers on your skin, goosebumps erupt all over it.

“We’re gonna establish some rules beforehand. First of all, watch your manners and the way you address me.”

Whilst the words echo into your ears and you need some time to realise what he’s saying, Chris is already busy fiddling with the buttons on your shirt. He opens them one by one so the cold air can slowly hit your hot skin underneath.

“Okay, sir.”

The black fabric lands on the floor, pooling on the ground all pathetically just like the remaining bits of your pride. With one swift motion he gets rid of your bralette, as it’s being thrown down as well. Your tits now on full display he grabs them roughly, pinching the sensitive bud between two of his fingers.

“You’re a quick learner, I see. Good girl.” He spins you around, all suddenly, so he’s able to place you on top of the cold metal table. Then he gets closer until his lips brush your ear again. “If you want me to stop anytime, just say the word ‘red‘.”

You quickly nod, holding your breath before you reply all quietly, “Yes, sir.”

And that’s how you find yourself—merely a few moments later—being pushed onto the cold table, face first meeting the wooden material. Your makeup is smudged and ruined by now but your looks are the last thing you care about. 

Chris is the master of his element, the way he’s thrusting his big cock in and out your tight walls drives you to oblivion. His movements are sharp but steady, his hands grab your hip and neck to keep you in place just like he enjoys.

“Naughty slut deserves to be punished for doing something so wrong,” he whispers into your ear once he lowers his weight onto you. 

“You shouldn’t have let me catch you, baby, that’s what you get for it.”

You arch your back and want to answer. But with the way he brushes that certain spot inside you, the realization hits you—you’re not capable of taking any control and you don’t want to.

“Say it, babygirl, confess about what you did and I’ll let you cum, hm? How does that sound? I know you’re close, no need to try to fool me.”

Slap. His hand collides with your ass—one of Chris’s attempts to bring you back to the present again.

“Okay—yes, sir, I did s-steal those earrings. I am d-deeply s-sorry. Please, I’ll do w-whatever you want—just l-let me cum already,” you stutter as your eyes meet the back of your head in satisfaction.

“Then go on, be a good girl and show me that you’re able to follow my rules.”

So you do. Your vision gets blinded by overwhelmness and glittery stars as you come undone, creaming all over his cock. Chris lets you ride out your high whilst your cunt keeps clenching around him, almost triggering his own climax.

Once he’s made sure you’ve somehow calmed down a bit, he pulls out of you—mixtures of your liquids and his precum splashing onto the floor and slowly running down your inner thighs.

“You said you’ll do anything, hm? Then go on your knees for me, slut. Be a good girl and suck me off.”

—

🖇 taglist — @gibbysupremeacyisreal

© stvckwithaphobia 2022 — don’t copy, translate or edit my work

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Winter/Holiday Challenge

Hello wonderful Tumblr Peeps! It’s that time of year where we get all those festive feels. @sagechanoafterdark and I wanted to throw a bit of a holiday party for all of us. 

Below you will find some prompts, a bit of everything that we had pulled together to help inspire you either in writing, mood boards, or other forms or artwork you would like to submit. Either just seasonal fun or holiday specific. Also throwing this out there, if you wanted to switch up some of the prompts from Christmas to something a little different, but want to use the idea in the prompt, please feel free. We encourage it, just please specify if its another holiday so I can write it down. We personally know most Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions, but would love to see (as well as learn) other traditions that you all celebrate. We are leaving this as an open fandom challenge, and will be making a masterlist with all the works submitted to us. Happy Writing! 

Below the cut, you will find the rules and prompts provided.

Can be anything you want to submit, writing or art work. 

Non Con and Dub Con is allowed

Underage, messing with animals, toilet play is a hard NO for us.

All that being said, Properly label your work for anything that’s needed. We have the right to refuse reposting/adding to the official list if it's incomplete with its warnings. 

Please send Sweater your request in a ask, with the number/s and character/fandom you want to write for.  

AU, OC, Y/N, etc is allowed. 

There will be no date to have it submitted by, we know people have lives and cant always get to stuff ASAP. Or the muse has stepped out. No worries, we got you. Submit when you can. 

Anything that is over 500 words, please use a ‘KEEP READING’ Lets not clutter our friends blogs up. (if you're on mobile, we understand it's not easy to use, no worries.) 

Please Reblog this for people to see, we would appreciate it. 

You don’t have to follow us, although be cool if you did

When you tag this, please use #ssholidaychallenge and tag @sagechanoafterdark​ and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ in your fic. 

Also probably send one of us a message if one of us doesn’t respond in a timely manner, it’s most likely where Tumblr is not sending notifications. 

You can mix and match prompts. If you wanted something from each category, feel free. Just send the info in your ask. 

There will be no restrictions in prompts, more than one person can have the same prompt. 

2 stories per person though.

HAVE FUN with this. 

Prompts

Person A surprises Person B by being home in time for any holiday of choosing @just-one-ordinary-fangirl with Steve @angrythingstarlight with Andy, Dark!Steve

Person A is great at baking, Person B is not. Chaos @nekoannie-chan with Steve/Brock

Person A is very particular about decorating, Person B just wants to put the decorations wherever they want. 

“That's the ugliest sweater i’ve ever seen.” @icanfeelastormbrewing and @what-is-your-plan-today with Jake and Stella

“My house, my rules. Christmas music stays on.” @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho with Ransom

“Yea, uh, alcohol doesn't go in hot chocolate.” @viinchester

“I love you, but you are a shit decorator.” 

“Step away from the cookies.” @pagesoflauren with Ransom @the-soulofdevil

Pulling you/character in for a kiss from the scarf @imma-sucker-for-a-beard with Chris @queenbeean​ with Ransom

Christmas Cookie Baking Day

Hiding the pickle in the tree @thefanficfaerie with Steve

“Can we pretend we’re dating at my family's Christmas Party? Then keep it up till New Years?” @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad 

Accidentally breaks ornaments decorating @stuckonjbbarnes with Loki

“Are those lights singing?” “Yes” “I hate them” “I love them” 

Kinky Gift Exchange

“Let's do something to put us on the naughty list” @imma-sucker-for-a-beard with Chris

Wrap yourself up like a gift

Get caught nibbling on forbidden holiday treats @sweeterthanthis

“All I want for christmas is you” @queenbeean​with Curtis

Finding the PERFECT tree @what-is-your-plan-today with Rogers @thefanficfaerie with Chris

Meeting the family for the holiday @mcubabydotcom with Ransom @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad 

Snowed in and make a fire for warmth (and cuddles) @romaxnogersav with Bucky @steebsbabygirl with Steve

Holiday Movie Night! (any movie of your choosing) 

Exchanging Secret Santa Gifts @navybrat817​ with Bucky

Lighting the Menorah

Eight Days of Hanukkah

Exchanging homemade gifts on the last day of Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa party! 

Seven Days of Kwanzaa

Playing the dreidel and other games

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Merry Christmas Bitch, I love you.” (feel free to leave out the swear if you want) 

“Do you wanna build a sno-” “Don't you dare finish that” @twittytelly with Chris @bananapie99 with Bucky

“You look like this gingerbread man” proceeds to take a bite. @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho with Ransom

“I love Christmas more than anything” “what, even more then me?” @just-one-ordinary-fangirl with Ransom

“You’ve burnt the turkey.” 

“I’m freezing, you’re warm. Hug me.” @arrowsandmixtapes @steebsbabygirl with Steve @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad 

Exchanging Secret Santa Gifts

Donating toys to children @redhairedfeistynerd​ with Chris

“Did you put antlers on the dog?” @what-is-your-plan-today with Adlers @viinchester with Chris 

“Im freezing, you are warm, hug me.” @nekoannie-chan with Steve/Brock

Song Prompts

41. Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt @angrythingstarlight​ with Andy

42. It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Andy Williams

43. White Christmas - Bing Crosby

44. Jingle Bell Rock - Bobby Helms

45. Frosty The Snowman - Gene Autry

46. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer - Gene Autry

47. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Bruce Springsteen

48. Blue Christmas - Elvis

49. Last Christmas - Wham

50. Mr Grinch - Thurl Ravenscroft @stargazingfangirl18​ with Frank Adler

51. Silver Bells - Dean Martin

52. Mele Kalikimaka - Bing Crosby

53. Its Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas - Johnny McMathis

54. Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives

55. Feliz Navidad - José Feliciano

56. Hippopotamus for Christmas - Gayla Peevy

57. Holly Jolly Christmas - Dean Martin @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ with Ransom

58. All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey @angrythingstarlight​ with Dark!Steve

59. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer - Elmo and Patsy

60. Rockin Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Movie Prompts- 

61. Four Christmases- You and Character of choice go to your different family Christmas’s, each with their own disasters. 

62. National Lampoon's Christmas- The whole family gets together in one house to celebrate. (Cousin Eddie anyone?) @pagesoflauren​ with Ransom

63. Jingle All the Way- Got to find THE GIFT of the season last minute

64. The Grinch- Someone just doesn't like the holiday, heart is three sizes too small. But it can all turn around and find the holiday spirit @verdandi-storm​

65. It's A Wonderful Life- Someone gets an awakening during the Holidays at just how lucky they are from a visitor.

Picture Prompts-

66.

@bananapie99 with Bucky

67.

68.

@twittytelly​ with Chris @stuckonjbbarnes with Bucky

69.

@the-soulofdevil​ @angrythingstarlight​ with Dark!Steve

70.

@donutloverxo​

71.

@gotnofucks with Sam/Bucky

72.

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ with Sam

73.

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork​

[unfortunate-brat]

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

When it comes to requests, I know we all have some crazy to down right hot ideas that we’d like to share with our favorite authors. However, chaos can not go without supervision which is why I have these set of rules or fyi’s so you know what I won’t accept due to being uncomfortable or not interested. 

1. Any smut requests that come in have to be off anon. I know, for some they’re uncomfortable to show themselves but this is to ensure you’re an adult. Your age must be located in your bio, hell I even accept in my (insert decade your age is in) too!! Any blog that is on anon, a minor, blank blog (posts nothing, has default layout), or is a spam liker will have their request declined/deleted. 

2. All requests containing the following;

 homophobia, racism, sexism, anal, scat, piss kink, blood play, knife play, pain kink, wax play, cannibalism, vore, r*pe, nipple clamps, choking, miscarriages, butt plugs, minors doing underage activities, drug use or m|m character pairings (ships like stucky) will be declined.

 I do not feel comfortable writing about these topics for anyone. They will be immediately removed from the inbox. 

3. Requests will be completed in my free time. As a college student and retail worker, I try to find moments where I can spare a few words to write. Please understand that I have seen your ask most likely and I will get to it asap !! 

4. Do not send me the same request you sent to another writer because one of us isn’t as fast and you want it right then and there. There is so much plagiarism in this community and I rather get an ask that is for me only, not anyone else. 

5. If you request something, please consider reblogging it with your thoughts. Whether you have 100 followers or 5, the Reblogs help circulate the post around for more people to enjoy. Likes are okay but they don’t do anything in Tumblr’s algorithm and it actually ruins my mood. Reblogs and comments, even if it’s in the tags, make my day. 

6. I do not accept requests asking me to write a paragraph for whatever wip the requester has been struggling to write. I’m open to collabs with others but I’m not writing a smut scene for you. Nor am I gonna tolerate you taking my smut scenes to put in your own because you are struggling. My work is to be posted by me, not you or anyone else. I don’t care if you credit me, I said NO. 

REQUESTING FORM; 

When requesting something from me, I hope you’ll follow this layout to make it easier for the both of us. 

Pairing: (Whoever you choose from my list);

Characters I only write; Dean Winchester, Jensen Ackles, Red Hood, Deanmon, Michael!Dean, Danneel Ackles, Rachel Gatina, Anael, Joel Kinnaman, Rick Flag, Ben Barnes, Billy Russo, Chris Evans, Ari Levinson (as a Professor of Geology ONLY), Andy Barber, Steve Rogers, Ransom Drysdale, Johnny Storm, Pacho Herrea (ALBERTO AMMANN VERSION), Ursula/Vanessa (Little Mermaid), Poison Ivy 

Plot; Explain what it is you’re looking for clearly; 

If the request is kinky, you can choose from this list of what I write for below: 

KINKS/NSFW THINGS I WRITE: Dacryphilia, Hair pulling kink, Praise kink, Daddy/Mommy kink, Mistress kink, Monster Fucking, Double P in V, Throat Fucking, Roleplay, Thigh Riding, Face Riding, Beard kink, Cockwarming, Somnophilia, Tentacle Porn, Threesomes, Orgies, Master/Pet dynamic, Overstimulation, Edging, Squirting, Bondage, Public Sex, Exhibition kink, Vouyerism, Hate Fucking, Breeding kink, House wife kink, dom/sub dynamics, Non-Con, Con non-con, fingering, mutual masturbation, phone sex

7. Is the request you’ve chosen from something I’ve written for before? Like is it for a specific AU or series/one shot I have going? Or is this request completely different and is it’s own standalone? Please be clear on what it is so I know what it is you’re looking for exactly. 

8. Lastly, are you okay with waiting weeks for me to get this done? 

These are guidelines which are pretty simple, anyone who’s gonna shame me for this or send hate will be blocked. That block button and I are joined at the hip and I’m not afraid to use it. That’s all!! 

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Rom-Com Writing Challenge!

We all love a good rom-com, amirite? They’re my favorite, and Chuck knows I’ve pulled inspiration from these movies more than once. Now, it’s your turn to do that! I’ll get right into it, but I’ll put info and prompts under the cut so no one has to scroll past a crazy long post. Please read all of the information carefully!

Rules, Guidelines, Important Dates:

Sign-Ups start when this post is live and will go through to June 28, 2020. I will accept two people for each prompt.

Please send your sign-ups to my ask box so they’re easier to keep track of. I will answer them privately so I’m not flooding anyone’s dash!

In your ask, please include your preferred prompt and a backup option, as well as your pairing (so I don’t take the same pairing for the same prompt). Also, please let me know if you’ll be posting from a URL other than one you’re asking from.

To be included in the challenge masterlist, please post your fic (or the first part, if it’s a series) by June 30, 2020.

Please include an author’s note tagging me and mentioning the challenge in your fic post; include #RomComWC or#RCWC in the first five tags. If the tag doesn’t work, you may DM the link to me, also. If you decide to write a series, please tag me in the masterlist.

Please give me up to 48 hours to read your fic before checking if I have seen it. If I have not liked it after 48 hours, please DO check. (You know, since we’re all aware of how unreliable tumblr is.)

The challenge masterlist will be posted between July 1 and July 4, 2020.

There are no word count limits, but please use the Keep Reading feature if your story goes beyond 500 words. Additionally, if your fic goes beyond 5000 words, please consider splitting it into multiple parts. This is not a requirement, only something to think about.

Yes, this is a rom-com challenge, but that’s only where your inspiration begins! Feel free to mold your story into any genre -- fluff, angst, smut, hurt/comfort, crack -- or any combination of genres.

HOWEVER. Since it is a rom-com challenge, your ending must be happy and/or hopeful.

Your fic does not have to be exactly like the movie. You can change up the ending, take one scene, one relationship, any one component of the movie you chose, and build your fic from there. As long as we can see notes of the movie in the fic, you’re good.

For personal reasons, I do not read and will not accept into the challenge stories that include non-con/dub-con, underage sex, adult-child romantic/sexual relationships, spouse-bashing, child abuse -- I could go on, but I think you get the idea. If you’re not sure about something, I’m always happy to answer questions.

Characters and RPFs are welcome.

Bring on the ships, OFC’s, reader pairings -- I’m trying to be more open-minded as of late, but I can’t promise that I will read everything. Again, for personal reasons.

I’m running this challenge on multiple blogs, and you’re more than welcome to sign up for more than one fandom!

Other fandoms: SPN | John Krasinski (Actor & Characters) | Multi-Fandom

Prompts:

License to Wed (2007)

Secret Admirer (1985)

10 Thing I Hate About You (1999) @harley-sunday (Bucky) 

Fools Rush In (1997)

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)

The Proposal (2009) @docharleythegeekqueen (Steve Rogers)

Sweet Home Alabama (2002) @captain-s-rogers (Chris Evans) | @fanfictionaries (AU Steve Rogers)

Sixteen Candles (1984) @past-perfect-future-tense (Bucky)

Better Off Dead (1985)

Pretty In Pink (1986)

Overboard (1987)

Look Who’s Talking (1989) @sunriserose1023 (Bucky) | @oh-its-nova (Steve Rogers)

The Wedding Singer (1998)

Never Been Kissed (1999) @captain-rogers-beard {Stucky)

One Fine Day (1996)

The Cutting Edge (1992)

Valley Girl (1983)

Pretty Woman (1990) @romaxnogersav (Steve Rogers)

It Could Happen to You (1994)

It’s Complicated (2009)

Something’s Gotta Give (2003)

You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Notting Hill (1999)

Serendipity (2001)

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) @alyxkbrl (Henry Cavill)

Love Actually (2003)

Wedding Crashers (2005)

The Holiday (2006)

P.S. I Love You (2007)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Easy A (2010)

Second Act (2018)

First Daughter (2004)

Music and Lyrics (2007)

What Happens in Vegas (2008)

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

The Prince & Me (2004)

Fever Pitch (2005)

Friends With Benefits (2011)

When In Rome (2010)

Letters to Juliet (2010)

Forces of Nature (1999)

200 Cigarettes (1999)

Reality Bites (1994)

Addicted to Love (1997)

Whatever It Takes (2000)

Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)

Coyote Ugle (2000)

America’s Sweethearts (2001)

@captain-s-rogers @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @captain-rogers-beard @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan

[elenatria]

author (and artist) interview

tagged by @randomingoftherandomness​, thanks, darling. <3

Name: Elena

Fandoms: Current one: Chernobyl. Waiting for: Cobra Kai. Recurring one: MCU.

Where You Post: Ao3 and tumblr (fics, breakdowns and headcanons), Instagram and deviantART (art). 

Most Popular One-Shot: (I’ll go with kudos on Ao3 and notes on tumblr because hits are too confusing) Jeg er Her. Aka The Hug We Didn’t See In Thor:Ragnarok And The Smut That Came After. Although it still baffles me why that particular story got more and more notes on tumblr even after the Ragnarok hype was over and it had disappeared from the tags. Did someone rec it? I have absolutely no idea.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: The Hotel  (which has also been translated in Chinese). Your typical Hiddlesworth angst with lots of smut to go with it, basically the “bitter and cold” Hiddlesworth reunion during the Thor:Ragnarok premiere and the (sexy) events after that. 

Favourite Story You Wrote: Why are you making me pick a favourite? Alright. A Single Bullet because seeing Boris alone with Valery’s cat  looking for that sixth tape after Valery’s death is sad and heartbreaking and the only one of my stories that’s truly complete. 

Story You Were Nervous to Post: I’m never nervous in advance. But I did see random people asking Taika blogs about my story, “Chris in Sakaarland”, screaming that I turned Jemaine into a villain and I was kinda... weirded out. I was like, “Dude, there’s a difference between a villain and an antagonist”. Also, why don’t you ask me, the writer herself? o__O

How You Choose Your Titles: usually a word or a phrase from the text itself, or two words describing the people in it.

Do You Outline: I kinda do. Most of my stories are based on the anon asks I’m sent, so I save them all in a Word file and put them in the right order (those that are meant for one-shots, those that are meant for multiple chapters etc). So basically my anon asks lead me to the next chapter of my story. And if you check out comments on Ao3 you’ll see a lot of brainstorming with my readers on the events that will follow. Do I know in advance what’s going to happen in the final chapter? I do for Chris in Sakaarland and I just had the most fitting idea for an ending for The Boy.  Also @fmasha-l​ was nice enough to offer me a bittersweet ending for Ignorant hard-working bastard.  But most of the times I just go where the story takes me.

Complete: 29

In Progress: (mentioning only the ones I intend to finish sooner or later) 7

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: the young Jarllan AU story where 16-year-old Jared meets 26-year-old Stellan at the Glastonbury festival (age difference ftw). The shy Catholic student is entranced by the atheist tourist from Sweden while he struggles with boarding school rules, his indifferent stepfather and his  rowdy Irish father.

Do You Accept Prompts: I absolutely do. I wouldn’t have written any of my Chernobyl or Hiddlesworth stories if it wasn’t for those prompts. At the same time I apologize in advance if not all prompts are written into fics. Lack of time, lack of inspiration or fandom fatigue make me set  priorities sadly. 

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: 

Toptumov (untitled). I have a short headcanon for them but I’m open to prompts and suggestions.

Also, let’s make that “upcoming chapters of my on-going stories”.

The Boy: The soldiers are starting to sniff out Pavel’s “potential”. Some of them will make advances. Some of them will do a lot worse. 

Ignorant Hard-Working Bastard: Boris and Valery attend a Politburo meeting and a dinner afterwards with high-ranking party members. To his dismay, Valery has to interact with Boris’ boss, Kolya, aka prime minister Nikolai Ryzhkov. It would all be perfectly fine if “Kolya” didn’t greet Boris with a Soviet kiss and didn’t look like THIS guy.

Tagging: @thegreenmeridian​ @fmasha-l​ @valerfan2 @potter012​ and anyone who hasn’t done this (I’m sure I’ve seen this tag game going around so ignore this if you’ve done it already).

[magicalgirlbethie]

Pick-a-Card Reading

Hello everyone! This is the first pick-a-card reading I’ve done here on Tumblr, so be gentle! I don't usually type out my readings, as most of them have been in person. I plan to post some sort of free reading for the collective or a pick-a-pile type reading on this blog weekly to get more practice. I’m still trying to figure out the day of the week I’ll be doing it, so bear with me and thanks for looking!

I divided the reading into three groups and asked what each group needed to be aware of at this time. The stones across the top from left to right are apatite, mookaite jasper, and smoky quartz. Take some time to focus on the three piles, take a deep breath, and chose which crystal or pile speaks to you. Remember to take away from this reading only what resonates with you and leave what doesn’t. Any feedback is always appreciated!

Pile #1- Apatite

Swan - Seven of Swords - Ten of Swords

The swan speaks to heightened creativity and a need for alone time and reflection. It’s about manifesting your inner vision and giving your soul the attention it needs. Take some time to do something that feeds your soul this week. Making time for meditation, writing, or other activities that help you harness your creativity may be the key to helping you make sound decisions.

The suit of swords rules this reading, which means you’re spending a lot of time in your own head, maybe thinking about some action you need to take. Be careful, the seven suggests you could be lying to yourself or being lied to. The way you’re going about manifesting your vision may seem like a good idea now, but will it be worth the deception later? Will things really pan out the way you hoped? Take some time to reflect and don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re working on a project, make sure the ideas are your own and you haven’t stolen them from someone else.

The ten suggests things may really not go the way you’re hoping, if you continue on this path. The ten of swords is literally rock bottom. You killed yourself with your own hurtful thought patterns. This particular depiction of the ten softens this a bit and shows how you can and will rise to look at the sun because the only place to go from the bottom is up.

You may be the one wielding the swords that have the potential to cut you down. Put down the swords before it’s too late. This is not a time for shortcuts. Taking the easy way out only ends with the swords you’ve gathered stuck in your own back.

Pile #2- Mookaite Jasper

Cheetah - Two of Cups - Four of Wands

This reading looks like a big YES from the universe and speaks to achievement, love, and connection. Who doesn’t like those things?

The cheetah is about achievement and reflects the fiery energy seen in the suit of wands. It suggests that you will be successful in whatever you put your energy into this week. Just make sure you’re running in the right direction and putting your efforts into something you’re passionate about. The cheetah has boundless energy and the motivation to get things done.

The two of cups is about true connection, teamwork, and cooperation. It could mean a new relationship, romantic or not, or even a new business partnership. If you’re already in a relationship, make sure the two of you are putting in the same amount of energy. In traditional depictions of the two of cups two people stand face to face, each presenting a cup to the other. This is a merging of paths of like individuals, who have something of equal value to give each other. This particular representation (shown above) is a promise being made between two people. There is balance, mutual support, and understanding.

The four of wands further suggests that making time for true, balanced connection could result in a beautifully stable foundation or milestone worth celebrating. This is a stable foundation worth building on!

Pile #3- Smoky Quartz

Bat - Nine of Wands - Four of Pentacles

This reading suggests you’re feeling guarded about something, but is this feeling necessary or helpful?

Bats are nocturnal and can see clearly in darkness what others may have difficulty seeing. The bat brings clarity and, like the Death card, it speaks to a door closing or something coming to an inevitable end.

The nine of wands shows that you have been through a lot and should applaud yourself for your resilience. It can mean the final push before achieving something you’ve been tirelessly working towards. The lesson here is to know when it’s time to stop fighting. Do not purposely choose the difficult path because you think that’s how all achievements should be won. Now might be the time to let down your guard a little.

The four of pentacles further suggests that you’ve been through hard times and know the importance of holding on to your resources and saving. You may have even been doing this so long you have no idea how far you’ve come. The woman in the card sits alone and is focused on herself and her belongings, but is unable to see what wonderful things could be right behind her. It might be time to turn your focus outwards a little and toward something new.

Pat yourself on the back for all that you’ve accomplished and been through, but be open to what new things are coming for you. Don’t be so focused on what was that you’re unable to see what new doors are opening for you. Like the bat, see what only you can see in this situation, but leave what isn’t serving you behind and be ready to walk through a new door when the sun comes up.

~~~~~~~~

Decks used: The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Deck by Kim Krans, The Light Seer’s Tarot by Chris-Anne, and The Sasuraibito Tarot by Stasia Burrington

[terribleco]

Jim The Skin Interview

Jim The Skin is one of Coventry’s longest serving skateboarders, and has been skateboarding for the entire time I have been alive. As co-founder of the city’s skater owned shop Ride, he has been sponsored by Third Foot and Independent Trucks (even getting a double ad with his son Joe), and continues to skate a bowl better than people half his age. He has been influential for so many skateboarders in Coventry, running comps himself, or helping those who put events on in the city. His continued support of the work skaters do; from output like this very blog, to skater owned companies from the local area, and multiple skatepark improvement projects, makes him the godfather of modern skateboarding in Coventry. I interviewed him to get some more insight into the man who’s real name isn’t actually Jim.

Header Photo by Chris Johnson (@cj_photo)

As of 2020, you and your brother Darren have been running Ride for 21 years! When you first opened the shop, did you think the skateshop would still be going this far in?

Of course we did: we're down for life!! It does seem a bit unreal that it's been going that long, but we've had such good support from people. Having the bike side of the shop has made sure we had some income to pay the bills too. 

How has skateboarding in Coventry changed in the 21 years the shop has been open?

I'm not sure it has changed that much -  people are still shredding the town centre, and a few are more into transition skating the same as they always were. I guess the skate fashion has changed a fair bit: most people are on 8.25, 8.5 or even bigger boards now, and wearing slip-on shoes. When we started the shop, if you rode an 8" deck that was big, and most dudes were wearing silly baggy jeans and massive shoes too.

Photo by Ian Lawton (@mrianlawton)

I think you’ve been skateboarding longer than I’ve been alive! When did you first start and who got you into it?

I'm pretty sure I started somewhere between 8 and 10yrs old back in the seventies, so I've been skating for about 45 years. No one single person got me into it, skateboarding was just starting to happen: it was talked about a fair bit and you would see the odd thing on TV. I was always into going fast and doing silly shit on my bike so it looked very appealing. If any one person did help it would have been Steve Spain. When I was 13, I bumped into him at the brickworks in town, and we were still riding little plastic boards or anything we could get our hands on. He was there on this 10" wide thing that just looked amazing!! I said to him "I need one of those", and he took me back to his house and showed me a Surrey Skateboards price list. I went home, sold nearly everything I had over the next two weeks, and then went back to Steve's, and he ordered me a Dog town Jim Muir full setup… then it really started.

What was your first board?

My first board was a made up one, as it was for lots of people: just an old roller skate cut in half and screwed to some wood. After that I had a plastic polly prop rubbish board, even metal and fiberglass boards too, but I will probably say the Dogtown Jim Muir was my first "proper" board.

Your real name is Paul. Where did the name “Jim The Skin” come from?  

Oh man this question haunts me! I was fully into Two-Tone: Cockney Rejects, Sham69 and other Oi music. I always had a shaved head, and used to go on all the scooter rallys, Northern soul all-nighters and that sort of thing. Think one of the first times I got in a mag, they must have asked what my name was, and Mon Barbour of SS20 said it was Jim The Skin and it stuck big time.

Photo by Daniel Soderberg (@fotodanne.se)

You are pretty much vert royalty in this country. Was vert something you always enjoyed skating or did you gravitate toward it later in your skating life?

Personally skateboarding was always about speed, long grinds, airs and definitely not pushing if you could help it. I always skated street because it was great fun, but if you could get to a good park with a pool or snake run or ramp, you could just charge. If you watch someone drop in Vert for the first time, they will tell you it was one of the biggest rushes they've ever had on a board just because the speed and the fear you experience, so once you conquer it and can do back to back tricks it rules!

How did Blockless Combat start?

Blockless Combat came around because there were no Vert comps, and hadn't been for a number of years. I just wanted to get everyone who skated Vert together so we could all go nuts! At the time block skating was massive, and it seemed like that was all a lot of skaters wanted to do. After you've grown up watching dudes go 10ft out of a ramps it just seemed a bit weak, hence the name. 

I have said on multiple occasions that you have the best smith grinds in the west midlands. Who taught you to smith grind like that?

Haha, I laughed the first time I read that on here - "best smiths in the west… Midlands". When I first got front smiths, there were only two other people who could do them in the UK: Phil Burgoyne and Mark Abrook. I saw Mark do a few at the Banbury ramp and thought "I'm learning that bad boy!". It took a while but I got them in the end, and it became a bit of a trade mark.

Photo by Sean Goff (@seangoff_toddtwist)

How do you feel the landscape of new parks has improved over the time you have been skateboarding?

It's amazing how many parks are out there now! Don't get me wrong: there's still plenty of shit ones, but even some of them can still be fun. I think they are slowly getting better, the new one in Newquay is so good. 

What’s the best park you’ve ever skated?

That's a hard one to answer: don't think I could name just one, because I've been to so many all around the world and they all have their own thing that makes them rad. Some of the California parks are so good, but there's some amazing ones in Europe too. I guess it must be Creation as I go there most.

You’ve got some air miles under you: As a skateboarder who travels a fair bit, what’s the funniest thing to happen to you on a skate trip?

The one funny thing that always stands out for me is when we were at Download Festival, and they had flown the big Vert soul bowl over for a comp. Christian Hosoi was over with Tony Alva to do demos. It got to the last few minutes of the comp, Slayer came on, and I was all ready to drop in and do some mad trick in my last run. I looked across to make sure it was clear and there was Sean Goff taking off his last item of clothing, so I had to let him go. He dropped in and did a full run completely naked. There were about 1500 people watching but I was just watching Hosoi's face! 

Photo by Richard Styles (@styzee)

As someone who stays pretty connected to the Cov scene, who are some of the best up and coming skateboarders in Coventry at the minute?

I don't go into town now, as I'm far too old to throw myself down stairs and stuff, but local dudes keep me up on who's ripping. I see a fair bit on Insta: obviously Lucas Healey, Pip, Duffman and Ben Keegan are still killing it but I've seen some rad stuff from Lewis Guest, Charlie Kerr and Jack Taylor too… I'm sure I've probably forgot a few but that's just my age! 

What do you think will happen in the Coventry scene in the next 21 years?

World domination!! Hopefully the War Memorial Park Campaign will succeed in their efforts to help us get a new park in Coventry, and we will continue to have a really strong scene. There's been so many people getting back into skating lately and new people starting up, especially girls. I would like to think the future looks good.

Anyone you want to thank?

Thanks to everyone who has ever made the effort to come and see us in the shop, and to all the Coventry skaters and BMXers: you all rule! Thanks to my wife Gayle for letting me disappear all the time to skate, and my children Charlotte, Joe, Izzy and Finn. Thanks to Mr Sean Goff for helping us set Ride up in the first place, and for his continued support. Thanks to all the people I skate with on a regular basis.

Thanks to Gary Taylor, Alex Haywood and Joe Atkins for working at Ride for so many years. And thanks to my brother Darren for making it happen.

[todaydreambelievers]

I thought TDB was just for Klaine/Blaine & Kurt things and not for items from actors personal lives...

The only person who has ever set TDB’s rules is me (SpaceOrphan) - a person who believes in celebrating love and positivity in all its forms.  In the four years that I’ve run the blog - the ONLY time I’ve ever reblogged about the actors’ personal lives was to celebrate Darren and Mia getting married - because I believe that celebrating such love and happiness is in form to the spirit of this blog.  And, frankly, because it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want with it.

But that said - since we’re winding down, yes, let’s take a moment to celebrate the lovely and wonderful actors who’ve made up this beautiful fictional pairing. 

To Darren Criss - a beautiful, gorgeous man, who sings like a dream and really is sex on a stick.  Thank you so much for bringing Blaine to life - and for singing our way into our hearts.  I’m so glad you’ve found a love in your wife Mia - someone who matches your spirit and your energy, your playfulness and your sense of adventure.  I only wish you a long and love-filled happy life.  

To Chris Colfer - you sweet, kindhearted, celebrity kindred spirit of mine.   Thank you so, so much for bringing Kurt to life for me - for being courageous enough to step into a role that was bigger than life.  You’ve inspired me so much that I can’t even say… and I’m blown away by how many millions of children (many of whom I’ve met through my line of work) with your stories.  I’m glad you’ve found your boyfriend, Will - whom I don’t know much about, only that I’ve never seen you smile quite like you do when you take photos with him, and that every person I know who’s met you said that you’re incredibly humble and kind and share the same good-natured values I know Chris has.  I wish you both everything that comes with a love-filled, harmonious life.  

And to the rest of you out there - take a moment and step away from the computer, find someone you love (even if it’s your pet!), and give them a giant hug.  You’ll feel better - promise.

[the-unconquered-queen]

Choices LI tag game

Thanks for tagging me, @endlessflame and @litgpop!

Watch how I am incapable of giving brief, to-the-point answers below

Across the Void: None because I haven’t even made it past chapter 4 and won’t anytime soon

America’s Most Eligible: Adam, named Leo. Then I got so bored of him I switched to Slater at the first opportunity

Baby Bump: Who the hell knows at this point? I don’t like either LI too much, so it’s just a weird limbo

Bachelorette Party: Ash, whenever he was onscreen

Big Sky Country: Dallas, who was so paywalled I could probably count the times my MC kissed him on one hand, but they did end up together in that future fantasy at the end

Blades of Light & Shadow: I meant to go for Mal, but Tyril’s intriguing so my MC will probably flirt with him before eventually ending up with Mal (I have a bit of an odd headcanon in which my MC will end up with both eventually, at different times)

Bloodbound: Jax

The Crown & The Flame: Most playthroughs with Raydan (loml), until I did the most recent one with Diavolos (loml), so now I consider them AUs that can coexist, but I’m also planning to try Tevan’s route eventually

A Courtesan of Rome: My first playthrough, my MC flirted with every LI (it played up the aspect of her being able to wrap everyone she met around her finger, imo) before eventually ending up with Syphax. My latest playthrough had her drop the dead weight and be with Syphax from the start

Desire & Decorum: Prince Hamid (who now bears my MC’s last name)

The Elementalists: Beckett

Endless Summer: Jake

The Freshman: My first playthrough had my MC ending up with Chris, but after I saw how Zig had the best proposal from screenshots, I planned another playthrough with the purpose of romancing him, and goddamn, he’s a god-tier LI and that’s what I consider my canon playthrough, so Zig’s endgame (also once I played Snowed In with Kaitlyn as MC’s LI out of curiosity, but she was pretty meh)

The Haunting of Braidwood Mannor: Tbh, I only played it once and it was near the beginning of my Choices days, so I don’t remember at all whether it was Víctor or Eleanor

The Heist: Monaco: Honestly, I hear this book is super good, but my motivation to play chapter 2 is low, but I’ve seen Fabien, and I’m coming for him eventually

Hero: Kenji, who was so paywalled that the most he and MC did was flirt (and he’s already flirty by nature), so he is one of the LIs an MC of mine has romanced the least

High School Story: Before I played, I had trouble picking between Michael and Aiden, but I chose Aiden and now I couldn’t imagine picking anyone else over him, even for just one playthrough

High School Story: Class Act: Started out with Rory, but then switched to Ajay in my most recent playthrough and I like him way better, but I’m still salty he never apologized

Home for the Holidays: Nick, but I don’t remember any of it

It Lives in the Woods: I know I talk about wanting to romance Dan and Noah (and even chose to flirt with Lucas), but the truth is that Andy is tied for #1 as my favorite Choices LI, which if you follow me long enough, you’ll know by how often I start randomly posting about him

It Lives Beneath: No contest, it was Tom… but Andy’s tied with someone, and I’ll give you three guesses as to who it is (also irrelevant, but his last diamond scene was one of my favorites I’ve ever paid for)

Lovehacks: None of the LIs here really stood out to me, and I only picked Mark so my MC wouldn’t be single, ‘cause I stan a best friends to lovers trope… I just don’t stan this couple. I’d say I’ll replay it to try Ben, but I didn’t like it enough to replay (unless I’m mining it)

Most Wanted: I don’t really remember it, aside from the twist, but I’m also not motivated to replay it

Mother of the Year: Levi, and the added smugness of having the man Guy despised become “his” daughter’s stepfather was the absolute icing on the cake, but I like the screenshots of romancing Thomas, just not enough to ever ditch this rockstar

Nightbound: Nik

Open Heart: Bryce Lahela, 110%

Passport to Romance: Ahmed, the only thing this book has going for it

Perfect Match: Damien, but in my latest playthrough I tried to have MC flirt with Hayden by giving him a quick kiss, but he must’ve thought that was a declaration of love and I couldn’t back out (accidentally clicked to end chapter) and my MC ended up with both but I pretend that never happened, so just Damien

Platinum: Even from the previews, I’d decided on Raleigh, but I’m pretty sure I pulled out a legit engagement ring the moment I found out he was Puerto Rican

Red Carpet Diaries: Started out with Matt, but switched to Thomas because of how much more supportive he was to MC when the whole thing with Montmartre went down

Ride-or-Die: I started out being one of the few people in the fandom who actually liked Logan, but it was around chapter 8ish (I don’t recall exactly), when he started being distant and Colt started being closer that I made the permanent switch to Colt

The Royal Masquerade: Hunter (named Hyperion) because he’s so fine, but after the last chapter, I might have a playthrough for Kayden (named Orion)

The Royal Romance: Alright, I’mma confess that I started out with Drake (you can see some of my old ss on my blog), but I started disliking him and made the good god-tier switch to Liam and now Drake’s the only romance I don’t like. Also, I like Maxwell, but I couldn’t possibly ditch Liam now… besides, the story revolves around him, so I’m already on the winning team

Rules of Engagement: The bartender for MC and Mira for the party sister

Save the Date: Simon, but the progression of the relationship was so paywalled that by the time my MC got to even kiss him, other ss showed he was already dating MCs

Sunkissed: Samson, but mainly so MC wouldn’t be single

Veil of Secrets: Flynn, and my MC stayed with him in the end

Wishful Thinking: Jaime, because again, best friends to lovers is my shit

If you’ve read this far, props to you, and you are now automatically tagged, so drop yours, too! :)

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, ART! You’ve been accepted for the role of EDMUND with an approved FC change to Max Irons. Admin Minnie: I knew this was a winner while reading your plots Art, but it was your para sample that really left me speechless. The way you showed us how he had suffered and how he had ached, all that bitterness and resentment and ambition and pride... it was so clear how deep your love for Edmund goes. I am thrilled to see someone with such an intimate, intense grasp on Easton’s soul. Please stay forever, and please ruin us for the rest of your life! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Art

Age | 19

Preferred Pronouns | He/him

Activity Level | Well here’s the thing about quarantine. I will be spending the next two-three months in a house, all day, every day, with consistent access to a laptop. I also lost my job and because the US economy is a flaming pile of garbagé, I don’t imagine getting another any time soon, especially since all my skills are in food. All this to say, I believe I will be incredibly active, outside of my Skype’d classes and grocery runs and whatnot.

Timezone | MST

How did you find the rp?  | A discord friend DM’d it to me after I went on a rant about Edmund and the layers to his “Thou, Nature, art my Goddess” soliloquy. They know me so well, and acceptances were literally in like six hours from when I got the link, so I sat my butt down, put down my real-world obligations for a moment, and typed this whole thing out like I was writing an unstarted essay due at midnight.

Current/Past RP Accounts | All my old RP writing is from years ago and is, frankly, really really bad. Thank you for making this optional.

IN CHARACTER

Character | Edmund or Easton Craven. I love Daniel Sharman’s wonderful, gorgeous face with my whole heart (hello gay awakening), but I’d like to use Max Irons instead, if at all possible.

What drew you to this character? | So, my love of Easton/Edmund actually began about a year ago, when I cut my hair and started playing around with names and different clothes. I was in a Shakespeare class at my college, and it was a requirement that we perform a monologue. It didn’t need to be Broadway-worthy, we just needed to deliver it, and we could do this as often as we liked. I performed two. One from a play we had read and analyzed, as my professor asked, and I did another. That second one was Edmund’s “Thou, Nature” soliloquy. It was the first time I performed as a guy to an audience that thought I was a guy, not a girl playing dress up. So I have a really strong emotional connection to Edmund, regardless of the form he’s in.

I was really excited by this particular version of him, however, because I thought it played right along the line of a monstrous asshole and charming young man doing what he can to deal with the hand dealt to him. He’s both of those things, to me, and I really enjoyed that you brought that forward. Edmund, from the source, reminds me of Chris Evans’ character from Knives Out, in a way? Completely self-motivated, selfish and cruel, and yet really fun and charming, as long as it isn’t you he’s screwing over at the time. I know he isn’t that character and I’m honestly really glad for it. I just found a similarity there.

I just really like those kinds of characters in fiction, and that, combined with my emotional ties and vague debt to the source character, meant I arrived and started writing as fast as I could.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

These are all ideas, nothing here is set in stone, and are entirely dependent on the beauty of the other writers free will.

Some Twelve or Fourteen Moonshines Lag of a Brother: From the get-go of this awful experience known as the human existence, Easton has existed just slightly behind Everett, just enough to keep the guy freezing in the shadows. It’s the last name, the mannerisms, and the goddamn eyes that sit in his skull. It is a truth, acknowledged by both me and him, that there is an association to Easton he really wishes wasn’t there. This is why I want someone to look at Easton and see Easton, not a Craven.

Now, I want to pause here, and say that Easton is a lying snake of a man that would and probably will sell out his own family for one corn chip. He is completely self-centered, convinced of his superiority, and willing to bleed the world dry to get the pound of flesh he is owed. I want someone to see this, to realize there is a snake curled around the Capulet’s necks, willing to bite and kill every single one of them if it means he gets to sit comfortably on a throne of gold and bones. Because that is what he wants, he wants the world to pay for every second of misery he endured in his life. But he is charming, slippery in the way only the truly awful can be. He’s accepted the labels thrown at him and become them, which is its own kind of armor. Who doesn’t love a bad boy?

But beyond all that, he is rotten through and through. I’d like his armor to crack and reveal the duplicity underneath, maybe around someone like Maeve or Catherine, someone that might not be believed right away. I love the idea of Easton being the wolf among some very dangerous sheep, but the really, truly awful ones not realizing. This could produce a really fun dance, where the two parties involved both try really really hard to overthrow or remove the other from their position while still trying really hard to maintain a veil of normality.

But that dance is what makes this all so terribly fun. They’re on a rock, doomed to eventually die, and Easton wants his power, but why can’t he play a few games while trying to get it?

I Grow, I Prosper: Easton, poor guy, was brought into the world and then spent the next twenty-six years being told his existence and all the things that came with it were his fault. They weren’t, or at least they weren’t in the way he had been told his entire life. He has learned to move past the label of “bastard” or “illegitimate”, meeting all such claims with the certainty that he must act the part. But does his position fulfill him? Does his current lot in life spark joy? I think not! He is a captain, yes, but so is his brother. He is, at best, on equal footing with his brother and at worst, he is the younger brother desperately following behind Everett as a living shadow yet again. Easton needs to be more than Everett. He’s wanted this his entire life. The whole city needs to look at Easton and see him, not his brother, and then Easton wants to rub it in Everett’s face, lord it over him for the next century at the shortest. That is the general idea behind this plot: Everett surpassing and overcoming his brother. The fact that he’d end up lording over so many others is really just a plus!

This plot would require effort. Loads and LOADS of plotting and communication on my part, and a whole lot of cutthroat, stepping-on-literally-everyone-else-in-Verona from Easton. He is going to have to exploit the hell out of Celeste and the information she can get him, potentially leading to her downfall just so Easton can succeed. He will need Rafaella and Tiberius to trust him almost unconditionally, which, just from what I’ve seen poking around the main, seems pretty much impossible. And of course, he has to successfully and continually one-up Everett, which might be the hardest job of all, given the whole awful tangle of EmotionsTM that Easton has towards him. It’s hard for him to be clear-headed when he wants to tear Everett into little tiny pieces with his bare hands.

But hey, that is, again, the whole point of this plot: the destruction of the legitimate son. Eliminating the sun so the moon can rule 24/7.

My Services are Bound: No matter how ambitious, how desperate Easton is to rule the world, he doesn’t yet. He works for the Capulets and he is a tool used to further the wishes of those above him in this terribly illegal food chain where dog eats dog. No matter how much Easton wishes it was different, it isn’t, at least not at the moment, and he must bide his time until something better happens.

Yes, Easton is a tool, and I want him to be reminded of that. He has the ambition to rule the world, can picture himself with a crown he may never hold, but he is a knight on the chessboard. I want his ego to be checked, I want him to be taken down at the knees and reminded of the situation he is in, who he works for. Now, ideally, this would come from the Capulet family themselves and not a rogue Montague or something.

The Capulet family, in order to win this war they’ve found themselves in, need their tools to be obedient and ready to deploy at a moment’s notice. This is not the case with Easton. He’s a rebellious man, more loyal to himself than any of the lofty ideas the Capulet heads have surrounded themselves with. So the family he serves would need to get Easton back in line, somehow. They’d need to remind him who he is and whom he serves no matter what it took and use whatever tools at their disposal. This could potentially happen after Easton completely blows off a mission he was handed to advance his own agendas, which I think would probably be the best choice as it would probably send these awful shrieking sirens off in the Capulets.

I want this particular plot because Easton is so assured that he will be able to make the world pay and yet he’s just one man against so very many others.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Oh most definitely. As a writer, I am a firm believer in conditional happy endings, probably because I play so many video games. In order to get a happy ending, in order to survive, the character has to do all the right things. The likelihood of Easton doing all the right things is just tiny, absolutely microscopic.  

IN DEPTH

I was going to do both, but I’m running out of time so…

In-Character Para Sample:

There is something beautiful in standing alone, where there are no silent reminders of how Easton arrived in this world, how he stepped into it screaming and no one cared to change that. There were no side-eyes, reminding him of how unwanted he was, how utterly unworthy he was to bear the name “Craven”. No hands hiding giggles at the boy his mother ran from and his father hid away. Here, under the bowed ceiling in the transept of the Capulet’s cathedral, there was only him and God.

“I hope,” Easton began, fingers lightly running across the back of a pew likely not used for praying, “that you know what is coming.” The eyes that proclaim a taint to his family’s name were raised to dance across the ceiling. “If word is to be believed, you, an old man in the sky, a Father,” he spat out, “brought me here. Placed me here upon this Earth to do whatever it is I so wish.” A smile, small and dangerous with heavy promises was birthed on his face, an expression that could not have been more familiar to his muscles. “I suppose that’s all a father has ever done for me. Perhaps,” he mused, lightly tapping his chin as he continued to wander aimlessly among the seats of a flock absent. “Perhaps I should be grateful that both You and him are both so delightfully hands-off.”

“I suppose this rock is where You chose to put all Your bastards, isn’t it? Shoved them away from Your kingdom, making them fight for their place in Your home despite them all being Your children?” The noise that escaped Easton’s mouth was not fit for the place he stood in, but it hardly seemed to matter to him as he collapsed into a pew, feet raised to rest on a Bible, feet that had stood in a man’s blood not hours before. “I suppose that must be how it is, because we’re all made in Your image, aren’t we? And that man had to learn it from somewhere.”

His head fell back, eyes closed to the beauty above him in a silent condemnation for Who it was built for. “You’ve released yet another snake into your garden by making that woman my mother and handing me the Craven name, you know.” The observation was quiet, laced with the bitterness of cyanide, perfected over years of similar declarations. The words were familiar, not on his tongue but rather to his mind, the idea similar to ones he had kept close for years.“I have crawled in the dirt on my stomach for too long because of You, and I shall take a throne and dare You to steal it from me.”

He inhaled, once, a desperate attempt to calm the words he could feel rising like acid in his throat. It didn’t work, though Easton didn’t try very hard. He rarely did when alone. “I am owed this, you miserable old bastard,” he hissed out from behind his teeth, sounding like the snake he had just claimed to be. “I will take everything because this is Your fault, and I will make your precious sheep pay for every inch of Your mistake. It’s mine, I deserve it.” A hand was clenched into a fist in his lap and Easton shifted forward, only to slam it into the wood of the pew ahead of him. “It’s mine.”

He stood suddenly, coat rising around him like smoke rising around a fire, warning the world of the danger just over there. Turning on his heel, he left the cathedral without a look back, without a fear of God. And though there had been no one around, the air hung heavy with a question. Just which father had he been addressing?

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here! This is OPTIONAL.

I submitted this through an Easton mock blog! There was going to be stuff there but my laptop crashed and I need to eat dinner!

[insideoutstory]

Inside Out → Chapter One

summary: Whenever her father goes away for work, Christine has a sleepover with her friends Barb and Nancy. word count: 2.7k a/n: Hey guys! I don’t know if I’m going to post all the chapters on this blog, since some of them will be pretty long, but I figured I’d give it a shot. Let me know what you’d prefer! [ masterlist ]   [ FF.net ]

November 4, 1983 

By 8:00 PM, most of Hawkins, Indiana was getting ready to turn in for the night. Orange streetlamps buzzed faintly against the dark blue sky, kitchen lights turning off after dishes were washed, and the faint blue light of the television catching the curtains of some families’ front windows. Cars were carefully stowed away for the evening, and children argued with their parents that they could stay up just a little bit longer. 

But one house, at least, was still wide awake. 

“Are you sure you’ve got everything?” a teenage girl asked, eyeing her father’s suitcases. 

“Pretty darned,” he replied. He rounded the corner to the front room, dropping another bag into the pile so he could pull on his coat. “Suits are already in the car. Got my files, got my toothbrush…” 

“Are you sure, Dad?” 

“Christine, I’m a forty-year-old man. I know how to pack for a business trip.” 

“Right,” she said with a curt nod, “and last time you just forgot your briefcase, so I had to hitch a ride to the airport to drop it off for you.” 

“Well, at least I won’t make that mistake again, will I?” 

He grinned at her until she broke. When her pout turned into a grudging smile, he tugged her forward to place a kiss into her blonde hair. 

“Give me some credit. Kitchen is stoked, hotel number is on the fridge, Claudia is next door if you need anything, emergency funds are in the bread box, and the key to the liquor cabinet is in my ‘I Heart New York’ mug.” 

“Dad, I don’t…” 

“Ah, ah, ah!” He waved his hands vehemently, squeezing his eyes shut. “I don’t want you to lie to me. Just promise me you’ll drink responsibly.” 

“I’m serious, Dad. I don’t…” 

“Say it to make me feel better, come on. Please.” 

“Fine,” she laughed. “Yes, I promise we’ll drink loads, and we’ll do it responsibly.” 

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her swiftly on the cheek and picked up his bags. “I’ll be back next Monday. Call me if you need anything.” 

“I will. Love you, Dad.” 

“Love you too, bumblebee.” He winked, and stuck his head around the corner to the living room. “Goodnight, girls! Give your parents my best!” 

“Night, Mr. Walcott!” 

“Have a safe flight!” 

With one last pat on his daughter’s head, he ducked out of the house and closed the door behind him. 

Christine peered through the window, one hand ready on the doorknob in case he came running back to grab something. But her father climbed into the car and backed out without incident. She waved as he pulled onto the road, and then headed back into the living room to rejoin her friends. 

“I love your dad,” said Nancy from her seat on the floor. “He’s just so…” 

“Cool,” Christine finished, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, we get it, Nance. You love my dad. You adore my dad. You are weirdly obsessed with my dad.” 

“Shut up! I didn’t mean it like that.” Barb snorted next to her, and Nancy’s jaw dropped further. “I am not obsessed with her dad!” 

“Sure,” Barb said with a shrug. She picked another potato chip from the bowl and inspected it closely to avoid Nancy’s death glare. “But you do bring him up literally every time we come over here.” 

“Why, thank you, Barb,” said Christine smugly. 

They cackled, watching Nancy blush furiously. Eventually, even she had to chuckle. 

“I just think you’re lucky to have a dad that’s so understanding,” she explained. “If I brought up drinking to my dad, I think he’d go into cardiac arrest.” 

“Uh, no,” Barb corrected, “your mom would go into cardiac arrest.” 

“And then your dad would complain about the inconvenience on the way to the hospital,” finished Christine. 

“Exactly! They’d get crazy upset, and still somehow manage to make it all about them. It’s ridiculous!” 

“She’s got a point,” said Barb. “Your dad is pretty chill.” 

Christine waved a hand in defeat. “Ugh, fine, whatever. My dad’s the bomb. Are we getting pizza or what?” 

Nancy and Barb both raised their hands, and Christine retreated to the kitchen. As she plugged the number into the wall phone, she noticed a dark square sitting on the kitchen counter. She picked it up, flipping it open to review her father’s driver’s license, bank card, library card, assorted cash… 

“Yeah, nice going, Dad,” she mumbled, pinning the phone to her shoulder. “Sorry, hi! I was looking to place an order for delivery?” 

She ordered their normal pies—one extra cheese, one pepperoni—and weighed the wallet in her hand. The easiest thing would probably be to ask Barb to drive her to the airport. If they were lucky, the might even catch up to her dad on the road. She’d have to pay for the gas money, of course, but she could always take a few bills from the wallet… 

Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. She was just rattling off her address when a set of headlights pulled into the driveway. The car door slammed, pounding feet jogged up to the house, and her father tumbled through the front door. 

“Sweetheart? Have you seen my…?” 

Christine whistled, leaning around the corner to toss him the wallet. He grinned, gave her a small salute, and ducked out of the house once more. 

This was standard routine at the Walcott house. Not that her father was particularly forgetful, or that Christine was especially organized. They just kept each other in check. The two of them had a system, and it had been that way for years. It was part of the reason she hated it so much when he had to go away. 

She was getting better though. Every business trip was offset by a sleepover with her two closest friends. They gossiped, ate junk food, stayed up far too late, and watched movies they had no business watching before bed. 

“I can’t believe you made me bring this again,” Barb complained, once they were settled in the living room with their pizza and sodas. She pulled a videotape out of her bag, and pushed herself up on her knees to insert it into the machine. “Can’t we watch something new?” 

“Hey, my house, my rules.” Christine stretched out a leg to kick Barb in the butt, and Nancy giggled. “We watch comedies at your house, chick flicks at Nancy’s. My house is the horror house.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Barb sighed. She pressed a button, and the previews began to fly by on the screen. “I just don’t get why you guys like horror movies. They’re all skinny girls who don’t know how to run and skeevy guys trying to get in their pants.” 

“They’re not all like that,” said Nancy. “I really liked Jaws.” 

“Right. The one with the skinny girls who can’t swim, and the skeevy guys trying to get in their bathing suits.” 

Christine threw a handful of popcorn at her, laughing when a piece got wedged underneath her glasses. 

“Come on, Barb. That’s the whole point!” 

“What? That guys are dumb and girls are dumber?” 

“No, that stupidity gets punished.” Christine leaned against the seat of the couch, setting the popcorn bowl aside. “That’s the whole thing that gets overlooked in horror movies. There’s a structure to them. Skeevy guys, girls that sleep around, bullies, assholes—they’re all first on the chopping block. If you don’t do stupid shit, then you don’t get killed.” 

“Oh, right,” Nancy said with an exaggerated nod. “So you like horror movies because they make you feel better about being a virgin?” 

“Um, yeah. Obviously. What about you, Nance?” 

“Me? Definitely the blood. I just—I love watching massive amounts of gore. Totally.” 

“Funny,” Barb snorted. “I thought you guys just liked this movie cause that one guy looks like Steve Harrington.” 

Nancy and Christine both squealed in protest. 

“Oh my God, he does not!” 

“Woah, hey, Jack looks nothing like Steve!” 

“Right? You’re so right!” 

“Nothing! Absolutely.” 

They nodded at each other firmly in the silence, lips pursed in determination. Barb raised an eyebrow to meet her red curls. Nancy hesitantly pressed a hand over her mouth, trying to hold in her laughter, but the damage had already been done. 

“Alright, except for the hair,” she admitted, kicking Christine’s leg. 

“And the running shorts,” Christine added with a wink. 

Both girls dissolved into giggles, unhindered by their friend’s unimpressed gaze. But the laughter was contagious, and after a few seconds even Barb was wiping her eyes and clutching her sides. 

“Okay, okay,” she wheezed, struggling to maintain her mature composure. “Let’s just watch your dumb camp slasher.” 

“It’s called Friday the Thirteenth, and it’s incredible, thank you very much.” 

“Whatever, Chris.” 

Things settled down as they got into the movie. Christine had already seen it at least eight times since it had come out, but it was still thoroughly entertaining. She liked the anticipation in horror movies—not knowing who’d be next, when the killer would get them or how they were gonna go. But as the crowd of characters thinned out on screen, her interest began to drift. Nancy had tuned out the moment the boy named Jack had been stabbed in the throat, and Barb had been more interested in her pizza than the film since the title card. Which brought the trio to the inevitable second phase of their sleepover. 

“Nancy, truth or dare?” asked Barb. 

Nancy swirled the remnants of her Coke around the bottle, deliberating before deciding, “Dare.” 

Barb smirked victoriously. “Alright. I dare you to tell Christine who your real first crush was.” 

“Excuse me?” Christine gaped, as Nancy’s jaw dropped. 

“No! No, no, no! You can’t use dares to force truths! That’s against the rules!” 

“Wait, your real first crush?” Christine repeated. “I thought it was Ethan Hart? That guy in my English class?” 

“It was,” Nancy insisted, as Barb shook her head. 

“No, it was not.” 

“Who was it?” Christine demanded. “Nancy Wheeler, who was it?” 

“I’m not doing this,” Nancy laughed, shaking her head. “Nope, nope, nope!” 

“Nancy, if you don’t tell her I’m going to.” 

“Barb!” 

“Who was it, who was it, who was it, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me…” 

“Shut up! Fine! It was Peter Jorgins!” 

Nancy immediately buried her face in her hands as Barb and Christine erupted into laughter. 

“Oh my God, Peter Jorgins?” Christine asked. “Isn’t he the one who kept that Princess Leia picture in his wallet?” 

“Yup,” said Barb, nodding sagely. “Metal bikini and all.” 

“Ugh, I know,” Nancy whined, peeking out between her fingers. “He wasn’t always such a perv. This was back in like, first grade. Way before you moved here.” 

“Still, I’m hurt,” said Christine, laying a hand over her chest. “It’s like five years of friendship means nothing to you.” 

“Very funny. Truth or dare, Chrissy?” 

“Fine. Truth.” 

Nancy narrowed her eyes, visibly mulling over a few ideas before breaking out into a smile. “Alright. So you said horror movies have rules, right? Like if you hook up with someone then you have to die?” 

“Yeah, and?” 

“If you were in a horror movie, would you rather be a loner and survive the film, or make out with Steve Harrington?” 

“Oof, brutal,” said Barb, pointing at the girl across from her. “Good one.” 

Christine chewed on her lip, sagging back against the couch as she began her internal debate. It was difficult to push aside her daydreams of what it would actually be like to make out with King Steve Harrington—the most popular boy at Hawkins High School. She could easily spend all night thinking about it and never answer the question. 

It was a stupid question, she knew—make out with one boy or not die? But still. Not every boy was Steve Harrington. 

“Chrissy, you can’t be serious,” Barb said, after nearly a full minute of silence. “No guy is worth dying for. Not even King Steve.” 

“Well it’s just making out, right?” Christine said meekly. “I mean, they couldn’t kill me for making out with him. It’s not sex.” 

“No way,” said Barb. ���You’d rather get chased by a crazy psycho with a knife than miss the chance to kiss Steve Harrington?” 

“I can run pretty fast…” 

Christine shrugged, and Nancy cackled next to her. She shook her long brown hair out of her face, fighting for breath as she held up a finger. 

“Okay, wait, but what if you did sleep with him? Survive the crazy psycho monster, or sex with Steve?” 

“Are you kidding me?” Christine laughed. “Have you heard the way Becky Dern talks about him? And they only dated like, a month. I’m pretty sure it would be worth it.” 

“So worth it,” Nancy agreed. 

They turned to Barb, who was watching them both skeptically. She rolled her eyes—her signature move—and grinned. 

“Well, I guess there are worse ways to go.” 

There was another round of giggles, and everyone helped themselves to second helpings of pizza. 

“Anyway,” Barb continued, “you’re one step closer than the rest of us to finding out, Miss Advanced Placement.” 

“God, you’re so lucky,” Nancy sighed, downing the rest of her Coke. “I’m literally so jealous.” 

“There’s nothing to be jealous of,” Christine insisted, though she could feel her cheeks heating up. “I see Steve one period a day, two tops.” 

“But you’re his lab partner! That’s like, infinite opportunities to hang out. Lab questions, last minute reports, study dates…” 

“I don’t think it sounds that glamorous,” said Barb. “Especially since he keeps slacking off.” 

Her disapproving face was back in place, making Christine defensive. 

“He’s been busy. I mean, between school and basketball practice…” 

“Yeah? Well you’ve got a job.” 

“It’s only been two reports,” Christine reasoned. “And he really tries in class, so it’s just the write up that I’m doing. Besides, I don’t mind. I really like physics.” 

“Right. Physics.” 

Christine did her best not to let that sting. She knew Barb was just looking out for her. She was a classic realist, probably the most sensible, grounded person in their group. Still, her protective streak could be a real downer. 

“Hey,” Nancy said gently. “Maybe it’s not Steve’s fault, you know? Maybe Chrissy’s just hogging all the work for herself. She’s a science hog.” 

“Excuse me?” Christine asked with a playful glare. Nancy shrugged. “A science hog. That’s why you’re in upper placement, right? You just love science so much, and you want to do everything yourself. You are a big nerd.” 

“Right. This coming from the straight-A student.” 

“Hate all you want, but straight-A isn’t upper placement.” 

“Of course not,” Barb scoffed. “Just top of your class in English, and trigonometry, and chemistry…” 

“Oh crap,” Nancy sighed, all jokes forgotten. “We’ve got a chem test next week. I completely forgot.” 

“It’s next week,” said Christine, waving a hand. “You’ll be fine.” 

“No, no—Mr. Kaminsky is like crazy hard. I swear half of the last test wasn’t even on the review sheet.” 

“God, don’t remind me,” Barb groaned, and her head fell back toward the ceiling. “I actually had nightmares about the periodic table.” 

“Exactly. And I might have passed the last one, but I have got to seriously ace this test if I want to be on track this semester. My mom tried to have this whole heart-to-heart because it’s not like me to just pass, or whatever, and…” 

“Alright, okay, I get it,” Christine laughed. She leaned over, patting Nancy’s ankle. “But you’re gonna do great, Nance. You always do. If you want, I’ll help you study tomorrow, after I get off work. Promise. Just try not to worry about it for now, alright?” 

Nancy bit her lip, glancing torn at the screen where the movie credits were still playing. She brandished a finger at Christine. 

“Fine. But I’m serious, Chrissy, I need at least half an hour of flashcards.” 

“Deal. Until then—Barb, truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” 

“Who was your real first crush?” 

The living room filled with laughter once more, and they settled back into their lighthearted game. Worrying could wait for another day. For now, all they had to worry about was being teenagers—watching movies, eating junk food, and talking about love and music and movies until they fell asleep on the floor.

[ohwhatamessiam]

Self Control - Chapter 10

Summary: Robert and you finish that talk. Chris gets a chat as well. How will you two move forward? 

Pairing: Professor!Chris Evans X TA!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Language as usual. A lot of freaking feelings, maybe some tears.

A/N: Hi everyone! I know, it’s been 9 months and I suck, but here’s finally an update to that cliffhanger! There’s only 3 more chapters left in Self Control, so we’re really in it now. A huge thank you for all you guy’s patience, and an enormous thank you to @fangirlisms-22. I have no clue when the next chapter will be up, so I’m going to ask y’all to be patient again. I tried to tag everyone, but some blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or won’t let me tag them. Let me know if you need me to change your url on my list. Here’s the Spotify playlist for the entire fic.

I love feedback, so send me your thoughts, feelings, wishes, etc!

Tags are open for this story, so send me an ask here to be added to it or my permanent list!

Self Control | Masterlist

“My what?” you answer, trying to keep your features from giving anything away. “Wha- what are you talking about Robert?”

“It’s been brought to my attention that your professional relationship may have crossed over into something more personal.” His brows rise as he watches you, waiting for you to help him understand. Clearly, he’s not sure how to address this situation. And the panic shooting through your whole body tries to throw you into admitting. Luckily, your logic takes over as you clutch your notebook tightly between your fingers and put on an earnest face.

“I mean, yes. We’ve become friends over the semester. We’ve spent time outside of class together. He’s helped me with my writing.” And a lot more but you can’t say that. Not until you know exactly what Robert knows.

“A friendly relationship, even a mentor/mentoree relationship is absolutely fine. But there’s been a rumor passed along that you two are past that. That you’ve become involved in an… another way.”

You don’t answer him this time. He’s only heard rumors, but who told him those rumors? And who started those rumors? Was it your guy’s class after that awful, awkward moment on Tuesday, or had someone seen you two?

“Look, if anything has happened between you two, I don’t blame you. Chris is a loveable, caring, handsome man. But if you two have a physical or romantic relationship, I need to know. I can’t protect either of your positions here if I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you myself. I need you to tell me what’s going on between you two.”

You weigh your options for a moment, dropping your focus to the edge of your notebook, picking at the frayed edge of it. If someone saw you two, there’s no use in lying. Keeping your job by being honest makes sense, and that way neither of you get hurt. But the precedent for TAs and professors having public relationships was almost nonexistent. And normally in these situations, one of you had to lose your job.

“And if I have this wrong, tell me (Y/N),” Robert continues. “If Chris has pressured you, or forced himself on you, this is a safe space. I can help you. I’d really like it if you’d let me help you.”

You take a deep breath and settle on your path. A life without Chris doesn’t feel like it would be a life at all. You have to protect both of you.

“No no, Robert. Nothing like that has happened. Chris is nothing but a gentleman.” You look up at him and visibly see his relief. “But I, I’ve flirted with him a couple times. I knew it was wrong. He’s such a nice guy and spending so much time around him has made me like him a lot.”

“That’s completely understandable,” he nods. Good. He’s buying it.

“Chris never really responded to me. He’s never compromised his professional position. I was the one who fucked up, and I’m so sorry I did.”

“It’s okay. Flirtation, although unprofessional, is not against school rules. And coming clean to me means you know that you can’t go any further.”

“I’m fully aware. I’d hoped that no one would find out since it hasn’t affected our working relationship at all, but that was naive of me. I understand if you have to pull me from his class.”

“(Y/N),” Robert sighs, “if I had to pull every teacher or grad student that flirted with each other from classes in this department, most of the English faculty wouldn’t have jobs.” The comforting smirk he gives you helps your heart rate slow. “As long as nothing else transpires after this conversation, you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”

Your heart rate stops beating in your ears, but you can’t stop your mind from reeling. If only Robert actually knew how many wrongs you two had committed.

You nod as he lets out a deep sigh and leans back into his chair. “Good,” he gives you an easy grin. “Now back to how we’re getting your story published.”

You leave Robert’s office 20 minutes later, a list of edit suggestions and recommended publications in your bag. And your head is a mess.

No matter how easy it had been to convince Robert that there was nothing going on between you and Chris, it still clawed at the back of your mind. He’d said it was a rumor, but who passes rumors onto Department Chairs? We certainly didn’t share any students with Robert. Chris and I worked with mostly first or second year students, and Robert almost exclusively taught higher level capstone classes or graduate level seminars.

So then he must have heard it from inside the department. Another TA? Elizabeth had been drunk that night, but she may have remembered what she’d seen. But you knew that didn’t feel right in your gut. She’d pretty much encouraged the affair, she wouldn’t rat.

Or could it be another professor? The chances were higher that they’d seen you with him at the office.

But something else nagged at you. Your intuition told you that whoever it was, they were closer to one of you than just a coworker.

As you step out the front doors and onto the tall stairs, the gray sky nearly blinds you in its fluorescence. Your fingers remain knotted tightly around your bag as you squint to see the cement.

“(Y/N)!” a voice calls, friendly and familiar from somewhere close by.

It’s Sebastian in a dark blue blazer, and his somehow brighter than the sky blue eyes are intently watching you.

“Sebastian,” you smirk, and try not to get caught on the way his scruff softens his face.

“Where are you walking?” he asks, his pace falling in line with yours.

“To my car, my day’s over,” you say as he continues down the sidewalk with you.

“Good, I’ll walk with you,” he grins. “So how has your writing been going? I know Robert never stops gushing about how excited he is to have you here.”

“It’s going, but barely.”

“Your first year of grad can be difficult, but I’m sure you’re doing great.” You try not to stare at Sebastian in the late overcast afternoon, the soft yet stark lighting making his eyes seem crystal-like. His scruff makes him even more handsome, giving him a slight edge to his charming playboy grin. “Chris has been pretty helpful, hasn’t he?”

“More than I expected.” If only he knew how helpful he actually was.

His eyes watch you as a sly smile turns his charm into cockiness, “Your extracurricular time together must be quite beneficial?”

You stop in your tracks. Does he now?

Your mind immediately flashing to the exchange you two had in the hallway that day after you and Chris fucked in the supply closet? The way he winked.

He knew.

Sebastian keeps walking for another couple steps before he realizes you’re not with him, “(Y/N)?”

You grab his arm and yank him off the sidewalk. The closest building to your path is made of old grey stones, and has a corner that juts out to cover an emergency exit. You push Sebastian against the wall, your eyes blazing.

“What are you talking about?”

Sebastian raises his hands defensively, but his eyes are playful. “Ah, I’m not saying anything!” A shit eating grin tells you he’s lying.

“What do you know?”

“I know Chris has been pretty unavailable in recent weekends. And I’ve read a few of his new pages. They’re quite good.”

You glare at him. None of that confirms that you two are together. None of that proves anything at all. Did you just blow this with your paranoia?

“Cut the bullshit,” you whisper as you poke him in the chest, hoping he was just playing games with you.

He drops his hands and sighs, “He always writes better when he’s happy between a set of thighs.”

“Why do you think I’m the one sleeping with him?”

“Because I know Chris, I know how he looked at you at the Department party. All those puppy eyes and the badly concealed jealousy when I flirted with you. It was clear he wasn’t going to let me anywhere near you because he wasn’t giving up on you two.”

You step back, your eyes closing in concentration. Had Chris really been set on being with you all that time ago? And had Sebastian really been as interested as Elizabeth had guessed? While there was something nice about the idea that Chris knew how he felt about you even then, it didn’t stop that anger from boiling inside you at Sebastian’s statement that Chris wouldn’t let him get close to you.

“I-, I’m not something either of you could lay claim to. Only I decide who gets to be with me.”

“Hey- hey, I get it. You’re in charge of your own body, I just meant that Chris tried to squash my interest in you. It might have just been him looking out for you then. But I think it’s clear now that he’s not just hung up on the sex. He actually likes you.”

“I know he likes me. But our relationship is private. It’s no one’s business but our own.”

“I know that,” he nods, his hands sinking into his pockets, his shoulders hunching up. “And he’s my best friend, I’m not trying to violate his personal life.”

“So you didn’t tell Robert about us?”

“Shit, Robert knows?”

“So that’s a no?”

“No, God no,” he shook his head immediately, his dark hair bouncing, “I would never. Have you told Chris?”

We shuffled back to the sidewalk together, adding another foot of space between us, now that I’d just thrown him against a wall.

“Not yet. And Robert doesn’t really know anything. He called it a ‘rumor’, and I talked him out of thinking the rumor was anything serious.”

“Rumor feels like something Robert would use when talking about students.”

“You might be right.”

We reach the parking lot as he turns around to look at me. He cocks his head to the side, a smug smirk wrinkling up his nose.

“I usually am.”

2 missed calls from (Y/N) pop up on Chris’s phone as he pushes out from his desk, his laptop folded in his hands. No messages appear.

His stomach growls, encouraging him to finish packing his things to go. He’ll call you back on his way home.

He tucks his things into his bag and throws it over his shoulder before he flicks off the lights. The lock engages behind him as he hesitantly slips his phone into his pocket. The rest of the office doors are closed, and only a crack of light bleeds out from under one the doors opposite Chris’s own office.

Letitia, the grad student that teaches freshman Composition with Elizabeth, has that office. Chris thought he’d only spoken with her once at the faculty dinner last year. And he was pretty sure she hadn’t been in attendance this year. But he’d been dealing with enough shit in his own life, he might have missed her.

He moved towards the department entrance, his mind already wondering why you’d been calling him. And if it was important, you’d text him or leave a message, right?

Chris’s feet bounce down the wooden stairs, the creaks of age bidding him a good night. As he makes it to the front door, he notices a figure leaning on the stones outside the door.

He pushes through carefully to find Robert on the other side, his phone pressed to his ear. The setting sun had just barely managed to escape the dense clouds for the evening, turning his cream colored shirt into a soft peach shade.

“Susan, all of that sounds lovely, but we actually have to get on a plane to get there-” the moment Robert notices Chris his voice lowers. “I’ll be home soon, we’ll figure it out then.” Chris gives him a sympathetic smirk and continues down the concrete stairs.

Footfall follows him as Robert calls out, “Hey Chris.”

He stops at the bottom steps, looking over his shoulder, “Robert.”

“Let’s talk while we walk.”

Once their steps fall in line, the men head down the sidewalk. The rest of the campus is quiet around them.

“You’re going out of town for Thanksgiving, right?” Chris asks Robert, thinking about the phone conversation he’d just heard.

“Yes, Illinois,” Robert pauses as he watches Chris, his eyes narrowing. “And what are you and Jennifer doing for the holiday?”

“Oh uh, nothing this year.” Chris’s cheeks show a slight tint of red. “I thought you knew-”

“I do. I was just hoping that you two had worked it out already.”

“No, we haven’t. And I don’t know if we will.”

“Are you going to spend the holiday with (Y/N)?”

Chris’s breath catches in his throat, panic seizing his heart. He tries to pretend this isn’t happening, “No. Why would you ask that?”

“Oh, there’s just been some rumors about you two going around.”

“What rumors?” Chris’s heels scuff against the cement as he slows down.

“You know, that you two are physically involved,” the look Robert gives him is completely suspicious.

“We-, we’re not.”

“That’s what she said when I asked her.” Chris’s feet nearly stop. (Y/N)’s calls had to be about this. “She told me it was just a misplaced flirtation on her part and that nothing more was happening.”

“She’s right,” Chris says, but his face almost betrays him. His eyes look distant, hurt, as he tries to hold Robert’s gaze, his hands tucked in his pockets. Robert’s wariness disappears as he watches him, replaced with a deeper concern, whether it’s for Chris or (Y/N) is unclear. “We get along really well, and have grown closer than I have to any other TA. But nothing’s going on.”

Chris drops his gaze to ground, remembering how he told (Y/N) that he’s resign if her job ever was ever on the line.

“I’m happy you two like each other. I think it’s been a beneficial time for both of you,” Robert answers. “And if your relationship becomes more, that’s fine in the future, when she’s not your TA. If you’re not her teacher or her supervisor, I can protect you two. But this isn’t the time for it.”

“I understand that Robert,” Chris nods. The men step into the parking lot.

“Good, because I’m choosing to believe you two right now. But I know you Chris, I know you’re going through some shit right now. But sleeping with your TA isn’t going to fix your marriage, or your pain. And (Y/N) doesn’t deserve that either.”

Robert unlocks his car as Chris opens his front door, watching Robert walk away.

Robert turns on his heels, walking backwards, and adds, “But if somehow the board finds out that something has happened, and this isn’t just a rumor I can talk them out of. I’m not going to protect you, or your job.”

As Robert disappears into his vehicle, Chris sinks down into his front seat, his keys hanging in his hand. He was right, (Y/N) deserved better than being treated like a secret affair. Which is why he was trying to get a divorce. But Jennifer was still being resistant. She wanted to meet in person to discuss the divorce papers. She wanted to see him this weekend to talk. And (Y/N) didn’t deserve to have to wait around for him to be fully available either.

Sure, classes would end in a month, but how long with the divorce proceedings go on if Jennifer fought? Would she drag (Y/N) up to the school board? Or in court? No matter how much he loves you, he knows this isn’t the relationship you deserve.

Chris finally made himself move, sitting in his car wouldn’t fix any of his problems.

On his way home, (Y/N) called again. He let it ring.

Chris calls you back around 10 pm. Much later than you expected.

You answer the phone immediately, “Chris, hi-”

“We need to talk.” Your heart drops. You reach out for the wall, your body needing support. His voice is clear and serious, and it feels heavy, like his words are breaking as they hit your skin. “Robert talk-”

“So you know?” you cut him off.

“I do.” Your fear eases, no longer squeezing your chest.

“I told him nothing has happened. We should be okay.” You want to be relieved, but your mind won’t let yourself feel that yet.

“I know. But Robert knows me. He knows I care about you, hell, he practically confirmed that he knows about us. But he’s giving us the benefit of the doubt.”

“That’s good Chris. We’ll be okay.” You shut your eyes, praying this was the end of this conversation. You’d be more careful moving forward. And once the semester was over and Jennifer signed the papers, you two could be open.

“It’s great that he’s not going to report anything, but we can’t keep sneaking around. Not while you’re my TA. Now that he knows, he’ll be keeping an eye on us.”

“Okay, so we’ll just see each other at our apartments.”

“No, (Y/N). We need to slow down. Put some distance between us.”

You grow quiet. You’re on the ground now, somehow. You feel like you’re not even in your body. Your heart isn’t in your body anymore either. It’s lying on the floor in front of you, bleeding out on your carpet. Your eyes grow hot as water builds behind your lids.

“But I-” your voice cracks, “I love you.”

“I love you too, but that doesn’t change our situation. We have to cool off for a while. It’ll be safer that way. Less rumors, less at stake.”

“Chris.” It comes out as a whimper. Less at stake. Less at stake for yours jobs maybe, but not for your sanity. How would you see him in class, in the office, and not look at him like he was your entire heart? How could you pretend that you were just friends?

He whispers, “I know.”

Your tears run hot against your cheeks. They pelt your chest, burning like alcohol on an open wound.

“Goodnight,” he manages. The line disconnects.

You’re left on your floor, your phone in your hands, and your heart broken in front of you.

Tags: @goosedanvers @irishdancr24 @lostboyinneverland @suz-123 @funlizzie02 @void-imaginations @cryingovershipsthatneversailed @breezykpop @jcc04220 @nys30 @jonsnowisnotdeadthough @guera31 @wickedcitywitch @thelondondreamer5 @patzammit @talannalew  @lilypalmer1987 @supperunnatural20 @evanstanfanatic @lucinapomona @r5rocks101 @dolphinpink310 @bojabee @youtheheckisbucky @thefridgeismybestie @ssweet-empowerment @sophiealiice @lostxsea

[rudybuttlar]

oh la la, qu’est-ce que j’ai fat?

OK OK. Merci beaucoup for clicking this link and giving it a read because you could seriously be doing ANYTHING else right now but you came to dive into the going-ons of the inside of my head, so....good luck. I’m hoping this blog will be a mix of light hearted stories and intro and outro?spection, so if that doesn’t interest you, PERFECT! I’ll try to change your mind. 

I’m the first to admit that I’ve always looked down on those who choose to study abroad places like Paris—places where Western culture is just as prevalent as it is in the states. Why not explore somewhere different! Somewhere it’s not as easy to fit in. But here I am.

I was at a kind of shitty part of my life mentally in the middle of my first year of college. My Capricorn energies couldn’t handle all the UCLA baddies who seemed to have everything under control all the while living their best lives. I wanted to apply to everything I possible could because I don’t actually know what I could possibly do. I don’t know if I was even excited to do any of it; it’s like I can’t escape my try-hard days as the President of Key Club (yuck!) in high school. Alas, UCLA isn’t easy. And I had to deal with getting rejected from all that SHITE too. Anyways, I remember watching the episode of Master of None where Rachel leaves Dev to live in Tokyo. When he confronts her about it, she said, “If I don’t do this now, I don’t think I ever will… I don’t want to wake up one day and think, ‘What would it have been like if I went to Japan?’”

I guess I realized I was looking for some kind of journey to reflect on things or something to define my life because I certainly didn’t know what was going on. It started to be a question of success vs. happiness in my mind.

It definitely got me thinking about a lot of things. I’m still in this weird transitional phase of my life that I felt since the first day of my freshman year in college where I’ve swung from happy and content to lost and confused every other week. It comes in waves and phases which perplex a lot of people who know me and don’t see that side of me very often, especially since I do tend to bury that negativity inside me. But I’ve slowly realized over the years: it’s okay to be honest with your emotions and admit your neurotic tendencies. And it’s up to you and ONLY YOU to do something about it. If you’re upset that you’ve sat in your underwear for a full day forgetting that your skinny (slim thiccc) bod actually needs nourishment binge watching Youtube covers in your sadness (an actual realization I had once), then somethings gotta change. 

So I attended my first travel study meeting in Murphy Hall, a huge, luxurious building on the outside with snakey hallways, dimly lit lighting—a massive maze of windowless rooms and marble floors. A few months later I’m here, back to my European roots. 

Famously, the show Seinfeld did horrible in test audiences before they ever aired. There’s an unknown rule of thumb with sitcoms – that if a pilot does well with test audiences, that’s not exactly a good sign. It means that it’s familiar. People have seen things like it before. A test audience that supposedly represented the “majority” of Americans watched Seinfeld and hated it because they had never seen anything like it and didn’t get the premise; so, the studios were ready to pull the show. WELL LOOKED HOW THAT TURNED OUT. Now Jerry has a goddamn show where he makes money drinking coffee with his friends while promoting the next Acura Legend or something. The studios that wanted to pull Seinfeld are the same studios that go, “The people want another (insert superhero franchise) so let’s give it to them! And make sure it’s loaded with nostalgia and merchandising opportunities!”

I guess what I’m saying in all these anecdotes and stories is that I don’t exactly know what I want in life. I don’t know if coming to Paris is the right move. I don’t know what’s going to happen after college - but I don’t think anyone does. 

There’s this amazing interview with comedian/improviser Chris Gethard where he talked about leaving his position at UCB Theatre to go do stand-up and lead his own talk show, dissecting why he left such a massive reputation behind. He was considered one of the biggest improv “guru’s” and was the “Golden Boy” of the UCB for the longest time, but once he talked to his therapist about how dissatisfied he still was, his therapist told him that he needed to cut out everything that prevented him from achieving what he wanted - even if that meant quitting his current job. Like any rational human, Chris said to her, “But I need to pay my rent and survive… how can I leave that behind to start something that could fail and leave me broke and homeless?”

She said, “Everything you have right now, you know you’re good at - it’ll all be waiting for you and you can always pick it back up if all else fails. But at some point, you need to leave on your own journey and answer the question, ‘What if? Because doing what you wanted to do and failing, but giving it your all will always be better than wondering all along if you could ever achieve your dreams.”

So there you go. I’m basically comparing my 19-year old life to someone who made a dramatic life/career decision as if they were on similar terms to me. I’m also not very smart.

Anyways, I have lots of more TEA to spill. Stay tuned baddies. I’m gonna dive into my CRAZY home stay mother (oh Lala), where my mind is at in the “City of LOVE”, and how I think I got roofied last night. Whoops. 

GOODBYE AMERICA, HELLO PARIS 

[catalinda04]

Carried Away Chapter 9: Dinner and a Movie

Masterlist

In the cab on the way back to his house, Henry looked very much like the cat that ate the canary. Lucy was about to say something about his smug expression when his phone gave a chirp. He took it out, read the screen and smiled. “My mate Chris is in town, he wants to know if I can meet him for dinner. Would you like to meet him?”

“I suppose, you met Sarah, it's only fair I meet one of your friends. Will he be bringing a female companion along with him?”

“I don’t know, I’ll check,” Henry said, typing away on his phone.

“Because I don’t want to tag along on a boys night. I’ve been a third wheel too many times.”

“He says it’s just him, but he doesn't mind if I bring you.”

“Of course he’s going to say that!” Lucy argued.

“Listen, we’ll go, have 1 drink, you can meet him, he’s a great bloke, and then we, just the 2 of us, can get dinner nearby.”

“How about, I stay at your place, and I’ll make something for dinner, while you go have a drink with your mate, it will give me a chance to catch-up on my emails and texts and blog posts. And I’m exhausted. I’ve been going for almost 3 weeks now non-stop, and I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She gave him an incredulous look. “I think a night in, would be wonderful. I’ll make dinner, we can watch a movie, just the two of us. Just don’t stay out all night and leave me all alone. You’ve opened pandora’s box big boy and I plan on taking full advantage.”

Henry agreed with her plan and sent the plan to Chris before taking Lucy to his local market to get supplies for dinner. She insisted on paying. “You’ve paid for all of my meals since I met you. Let me pay for this dinner.” He grudgingly agreed and took Kal for a walk before leaving to meet Chris.

Lucy set-up her laptop on the coffee table in the living room and got to work slogging through a backlog of emails she had ignored for the last week. Kal curled up next to her, promptly falling asleep. Lucy’s guilt about withholding information from her mother that morning finally overcame her. She called and chatted for a few minutes before dropping the bomb. “Mom, I’m not staying at the hotel I gave you the information for anymore, I’m staying with a….friend. I’ll be here until I leave for Cardiff, like the original itinerary I gave you.”

“A friend? What do you mean a friend? I didn’t know you knew anyone in London. Who is she? Why didn’t you stay with her the whole time?”

“Mom, it’s not a she, it’s a he. His name is Henry.

“How long have you known him? Where did you even meet, did you meet him when you were in Spain?”

I took a deep breath. “Actually mom, I met him a week ago. I was lost and he helped me with directions after his dog tackled me in the street.”

“And now you’re living with him! What do you know about him?”

“I’m not LIVING with him, I’m just staying at his house for the next 3 days until I leave town.”

“What do you know about him! He could be a serial killer or worse!”

“I know enough mom. I’m not going to discuss this with you, I just didn’t feel right lying to you this morning, so I had to clear the air.”

“Lying to me. What did you lie about?”

“It wasn’t a full lie, but the reason I haven’t called or emailed is because I’ve been with Henry.”

“Well can I meet this mystery man, put him on the screen.”

“He went out for a drink with a friend of his. I told him to have fun so I could catch up on emails and phone calls.”

Her mother sighed heavily. “Well at least give me a last name so I can stalk him on Facebook since you’re so tight-lipped about this.”

“He’s not on Facebook, mom”

“Don’t be silly, everyone’s on Facebook. Just give me his last name.”

Lucy sighed in a perfect mirror of her mother, she might have smiled if she hadn’t been so exasperated. “Cavill, Henry Cavill.”

Lucy watched her mother type on her tablet. “Well let’s just see here, I’m not finding anyone other than this actor. Do you have a middle name to try adding to the search.”

“No, mom, that’s...him…” she said trailing off.

“What! You’re dating SUPERMAN!”

“Mom we’re not dating, I don’t know what it is, we haven’t really discussed it, plus I’m leaving in 3 days, which kind of throws a wrench in the works.” Her voice falling with each word.

“Oh honey,” her mother’s voice softened with concern. “Ok, I’m staying out of it, just please be safe, protect yourself, and your heart. You are using protection, aren’t you? ”

“Yes mom, we are.” Lucy rolled her eyes.

“Well, that’s a relief.”

“I’m going to go now, I’ve got a bunch of blog posts to write. I love you, tell dad...well tell dad however much you think he can handle, and tell grandma I’m fine. I’ll call her when I get to Cardiff.”

Lucy spent the next hour updating her blog. Henry was mentioned in her posts, but never with his full name, and none of the pictures she posted had him in them. They hadn’t discussed how public this relationship was, and Lucy was very self-conscious about being in the public eye. She also didn’t want her extended family asking a lot of questions she didn’t know how to answer.

By the time she caught her blog up to the present, and posted pictures to her facebook page, it was about time to start preparing dinner. Lucy loved cooking, but it was hard when she was traveling to prepare her own meals. She just hoped Henry didn’t expect that she’d cook him dinner for the rest of her stay with him.

Henry entered his favorite dimly lit pub and scanned the room looking for Chris. He saw a flash go off at the far end of the bar and saw his friend posing with a pretty brunette. Henry waited a few minutes until the girl had left before approaching him.

“Been waiting long?” Henry asked, settling his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Long enough.” The other man replied, standing to envelop Henry in a brotherly hug. Chris Evans pulled away and studied his friend’s face. The handsome brit couldn't stop smiling. Chris searched his memory for a time he’d seen his friend of over 8 years this happy and came up blank. The two men had met in their early 20’s on set for a small movie they both had parts in. They had instantly clicked and had been friends ever since.

“You look happy,” Chris commented as they both took seats at the bar.

“I’ve met someone.”

“I guessed that when you asked to bring her along. Tell me about her.”

Henry hadn’t intended to tell his friend the whole story, but it all came spilling out; from Kal in the street to the dance in the park, and now her staying with him.

“So she’s a regular woman. What’s she do?”

“She’s a school teacher.”

“That’s hot, man,” Chris replied, while Henry just laughed.

“I can’t put my finger on it, but she’s gotten under my skin. And I want her to stay there. I mean I’ve known her a week, and she’s alone in my house. I’m either crazy or…” and Henry didn’t finish the statement as he realized he might actually be falling in love with his nerdy American teacher. Chris watched the emotions play over his friend’s face.

“You’re thinking the big one, huh? Love?”

“It’s only been a week. Plus she’s leaving in a few days. We have chemistry, but we don’t really have much in common. Our lives are completely different.”

“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you? I don’t know anything other than what you’ve told me, but she sounds great. Give this one a chance, why don’t you. See if this could be something. You deserve to be happy.”

“Ok, enough about me. What are you doing here?” Henry asked, desperate for the spotlight to be off of himself. Chris allowed the conversation to flow toward himself, though he made a mental note to check in on his friend periodically.

Henry unlocked his door feeling happier than he could remember being in quite a while. He liked the idea of having someone waiting for him when he came home; someone other than Kal to talk to at night. He replayed his conversation with Chris over in his head. He was infatuated with Lucy. It couldn’t be love yet, he almost had himself convinced.

Once the door was open he was met with the New Kids on the Block telling him to Hang Tough. His smile widened. After dropping his keys by the door he made his way to the kitchen to see Lucy dancing with a pair of salad tongs in her hand, singing along. She hadn’t noticed him come in, so he leaned his shoulder against the door jamb, crossed his arms, and watched the show. His resolve of his conviction slipped with each goofy dance move she performed. Once the New Kids were done, Whitney Houston starting singing about wanting someone to dance with.

Periodically Lucy threw a piece of food to Kal who was laying on the floor, which explained why the dog hadn’t greeted him at the door. His smile widened. He watched Lucy chop something green with an impressive amount of skill. When she turned to get something out of the refrigerator, she finally saw him and screamed.

“Henry! I didn’t hear you come in. How long have you been watching me?”

“Long enough to know I should hang tough. You’ve got some moves.” He said pulling her close for a kiss. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been 2 hours.” She kissed him and rolled her eyes. “But I missed you too.” She said giving him one more kiss, before pushing him out of the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes. Why don’t you open the wine, and tell me about your drink with Chris.”

Henry did as instructed, and opened the bottle of white wine she’d purchased at the market to accompany the light pasta dish.

“Chris told me to tell you hello.”

“Well, hello back, Chris, though I’m sure we’ve never met.”

“No probably not.” Henry laughed “Though I’m sure you know of him. You said you were a Marvel gal.”

“Chris. Not Hemsworth?” Lucy thought out loud while she sauteed bacon on the stove, and checked on the pasta water.

“No, the other Chris,” he laughed.

“Chris Evans‽ Oh my homeroom girls are going to be so upset with me if they find I had a chance to have a drink with him and bailed. You’re friends with Chris Evans! Isn’t that against the rules or something? Marvel, DC?” She teased while adding the pasta to the water, and taking the pan of bacon off the burner and draining it. “This pasta is going to take a few minutes. Let’s pick out a movie to watch. I want to just veg tonight.” She said wrapping her arms around Henry. He turned her in his arms and walked into the living room still wrapped around her.

“What are you in the mood for?” Henry asked opening a hidden cabinet door to reveal his movie collection.

“That’s where it is! I was trying to find your movies, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. Let’s see what do you have.” Lucy rested her hands on his arms which were resting on her clavicles. She scanned the titles. “Ooooh! Man of Steel! I haven’t seen that yet. But no, I don’t want you to see me watch that for the first time. I might embarrass myself. So nothing you’re in.” She turned and lifted her head to kiss the underside of his chin. She ran her fingers over the titles on the shelf. “Oh! I can’t believe you have this movie. I love this movie!” She said sliding a fantasy movie from the shelf.

“You said nothing that I’m in. So that one’s out.”

“You are not in this movie. I’ve seen it probably 20 times.”

“I can assure you, I am in this movie,” he argued.

“What as an extra, maybe one of the lesser pirates?”

“No, I play the character of Humphrey.”

“Humphrey?” Lucy searched her brain for the character in the film. “Oh! Who went ‘all the way to Ipswitch’ to get the ring! Oh, now we have to watch it. I’m going to finish dinner, you pour the wine and pop the movie in.”

Henry just smiled and laughed to himself, but did as instructed. When he returned to the kitchen for the wine he watched Lucy combine ingredients from several bowls to one large bowl, tossing everything constantly. With deft hands, she separated the pasta into two bowls, topped them with grated cheese and the herbs he’d seen her chopping.

She inserted a fork into each bowl and carried them to the living room. Henry had dimmed the lights and lit candles. Kal was curled on the floor by the end of the couch, having lost his spot, next to Henry, to Lucy. Henry started the movie before taking his first bite of pasta.

“This is amazing. You made this? In my kitchen?”

“It’s just a simple carbonara. Really no big deal. Now shhh. I want to watch the movie.” She explained tucking into her own bowl of pasta.

They enjoyed a cozy dinner together, Henry briefly paused the movie to take care of their dishes and Lucy helped him clean the kitchen before returning to the living room to finish the movie. Henry sat on the couch, pulling Lucy down to sit on his lap. She played at pushing his hands away when they started roaming her body, but she couldn’t hold out long. Much of the remaining movie was ignored in favor of exploring hands and some serious snogging.

The following morning, they were awoken early by a pounding on the front door.

“Who could that be? It’s not even 7:00.” Lucy groaned.

“I don’t know, maybe if we ignore it, they’ll go away.” He said nuzzling into her neck. The pounding only increased.

“It’s your door, they won’t be asking for me.” She said pushing him away. “Now go answer the door so I can get back to sleep.” She grumbled.

Henry stalked down the stairs pulling on a t-shirt and cursing whoever happened to be knocking. He opened the door to find his publicist looking annoyed. “Finally! What took you so long?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s 7:00 in the morning, I was sleeping like most normal people. Now tell me what you are doing here so I can go back to sleep.”

“Sleeping alone?” He asked pushing past Henry and handing him a celebrity rag. The front cover had a picture of himself and Lucy kissing, he recognized his clothes from the train station the day she went to Oxford without him, with the headline ‘Who is Superman’s new Lois Lane?’

Chapter 8          Chapter 10