#'oh its not for me haha but dont harass her guys thats bad'

[blinxbat]

Ppl really out here saying "personally I would never agree with bi lesbians/neopronouns/therians but she leaked the no fly list so stop harassing her" like they have to say "don't worry guys I'm still bigoted even if I'm not joining in on the harassment I'm still one of the good ones guys i promise"

Also even if it still uses she/her pronouns so it's not technically misgendering, the people who straight up refuse to use it/its for it are so telling on themselves.

[m143ui]

A MESSAGE TO THE PJO FANDOM

so hello friends on the other side

I understand some of the major concerns regarding characters like piper and the feather and hazels description but when you bring Leo and Reyna into the fucking conversation I have lost all respect.

ANYONE CAN BE ABUSED, ETHNICITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT

LATINO CHARACTERS

Reyna is not a negative stereotype, she isn't defined by being latina and neither is Leo, he isn't a stereotype simply because he’s latino and was abused. also him being called an elf was because he was short, which had nothing to do with him being latino. also the mamacita comment like y'all hide under the label “progressive” but ignore that mamacita has been a thing in Latin American communities for a fucking while. its not an insult dammit. its something that happens in our communities!!! its like saying muchacho y'all don't see men bitching about that.

also shocker I read the mamacita comment and I can proudly say I didn't go

“RICK YOU RACIST BITCH”

things that actually happen in communities aren't racist

and before any of y'all come at me with the usual you’re white excuse, hello friends im Peruvian and Paraguayan.

I don't think he’s perfect but bitching about characters like Leo which gave many of my Latin American friends hope for similar characters destroys your “listening to minorities” argument

also the lol “hes Mexican taco bad” argument like I live in Mexico we eat tacos like every fucking day. its literally a fact. and Leo isn't just defined as taco man.

believe it or not us latinos respect rick because he gave us role models and characters like us. we don't define a character by one line and instantly call discrimination. like yes a asian character can be snobby it has nothing to do with ethnicity. y'all are making this about ethnicity. an asian character can be anything, just like a white character or a black character or a gay character. people are not simply defined by their labels like ya’ll think. y'all are just a bunch of easily triggered snowflakes that can't live with that. they can be influenced but in the end labels are labels we are all human and should be treated as such.

LGBT REPRESENTATION

another thing Reyna was never officially a lesbian that was YOUR interpretation not riordans. IF HE DIDNT STATE IT , SORRY HONEY IT ISN’T CANON! I don't care about how she was “lesbian coded” if he didn't state it it isn't canon. 

I am so sick, as a lesbian, to see people use ALL QUEER DEATHS as a bury your gay tropes, what happened to seeing us as humans? why can't we be treated like any other character? if we die we die, it isn't always “haha gay evil boom death”. sometimes fully fledged characters have to die friends.

Nico isn't a bad gay character, he’s just a normal character who happens to be gay and has suffered major trauma. HIS TRAUMA WAS CAUSED BY HIS UPBRINGING, Nico isn't a 2000′s character, he’s from the 30′s, so obviously he woudn’t be perfect with his sexuality for gods sake it was the 30′s. the exact same thing happens with hazel, she isn't a modern black woman, she's a 30′s black woman. Nico’s coming out isn't him as a 21st century teen its from the time when the GOVERNMENT KILLED YOU FOR BEING GAY

also saying there are no lesbian characters? like wow look emmie and jo don't exist. Lavinia doesn't exist. poison doesn't exist. thanks fam you really make yourselves look smart here. simply because rick never said the word gay doesn't mean the gay characters don't exist friends. they are just labeled as what gay characters should be labeled as.... human.

LESBOPHOBIA & RACISM

im not educated in muslim or black culture so I won't mention characters like sam and hazel and piper because I respect and I am highly critical of what rick put in his books to describe these specific minorities.

HOWEVER saying rick is a lesbophobe, a homophobe, a racist a sexist cis guy is like do y’all wanna be taken seriously? use arguments don't hide behind words.

rick isn't a perfect writer but y'all really don't know how to criticise, y'all just hide behind big boy words and back it up with no evidence, just opinions.

rick doesn’t have the best minority rep out there but he is damn well trying and I respect that unlike all you fucking idiots.

SHIPS

now onto ships.... yay

frazel: im not gonna censor it like you pussies, believe it or not 13&16 year old relationships exist. they might not always be healthy but they exist. to deny this is to be stupid

solangelo:  another ship that is censored..the main argument I've seen is that it isn't developed and will isn't even a character... he was in last olympian and lost hero not my fault y'all have fish brains. I don't care if you dislike it but don't be like “ANYONE WHO SHIPS THIS IS AN ABUSIVE WHORE” like wow you always preach about accepting all ships and then throw this? also if you hate solangelo because of the “abuse” but ship percico like hi friends Nico is 4 years younger than Percy.. if y'all hate frazel because of the 3 year age difference y'all should hate this too.

CONCLUSIONS AND SHIT

not every character minority or otherwise is gonna be the way you want them to be, believe it or not any character can be anything, black characters can be loud, white characters can be loud. if they're only loud because “haha black” then THATS an issue not the simple existence of a loud black woman who has a loud personality.

y'all be here bitching about drew and I've never heard the asian perspective of this? just a bunch of black and white people telling asians they should be offended. was that just an uno reverse?

also last point stereotypes aren't always a negative thing and y'all need to get that in your heads.

anyway stay mad hoes <3

from a sane Peruvian <3

EDIT

I saw this beauty and had to comment on it

“having LGBT characters experience abuse and violence. nicos forceful outing rubs me the wrong way, especially because hes called a coward for being in the closet. its violent and kind of disturbing to make your gay character come out of the closet by force. maybe write better. additionally, alex's abusive father and subsequent homelessness because of her being trans is badly written.”

oh noooo gay characters can't deal with homophobia anymore ! like I can tell you have never been punched for being gay. is it bad to showcase how trans and gay ppl are 40% of homeless youth? or is even mentioning that discrimination? believe it or not some of us live in countries where people try to kill us. you have an advantage and it shows. about the coward thing... 

was FUCKING CUPID A GOOD CHARACTER? NO? I REST MY CASE. CUPID IS NOT SEEN AS A GOOD PERSON THEREFORE HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON GET THAT IN YOUR THICK SKULLS.

 YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS LGBT FOLKS DONT GET FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET 

#NEVER HAPPENS IN REALITY. 

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERENT FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET DOESNT MEAN OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THAT SAME LUXURY. 

maybe stop spewing bullshit <3

(so I get that this scene can remind people of being outed and it can hurt them however this scene was never intended to be a good thing it literally says Nico is scared of facing his emotions)

EDIT NUMBER 2

oh boy rick really pissed off the snowflakes that I share a fandom with

“give Nico to the gays” no? he would be a femboy and they would yeet his trauma like ssrsly?

also hate rick? bitch no one is forcing you to read his tweets.

death of the author is such a toxic thing like the mans is alive boo he aint going nowhere..like What the fuck 

EDIT NUMBER 3

anyway final thoughts on this :

nico insn’t Uwu gay and its an insult to his character

Reyna is not a lesbian canonically (neither is Thalia)

Leo and Reyna are not racist

none of ricks characters are  written as insults to their communities

and if I see one more “but ....phobia/ ...ism I will do very illegal things

peace lol

RICK RIORDAN UPDATE:

congratulations rick antis! you have successfully harassed a  56 year old man into leaving social media! wow so progressive!!!! this totally won't backfire or anything!!!

all jokes aside all of you who harassed rick to the point of someone else taking over his social media should feel ashamed

[demyrie]

I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult. 

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it. 

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life. 

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us. 

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there. 

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too. 

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

[musubiki]

by the by here some oscar headcanons

➞

same age as the other 3, ends up getting into the same class as them

the excited sunshine friend (tm)

also surprisngly the most normal out of all of them. the only one with both his parents

the 1st person he runs into is lime and hes excited!!!! dude!!!! long time no see remember me????? were in the same class now how cool is that????????????

he was limes best friend in early middle school. they would get into so. much trouble. 

so he is notoriously out of the loop for literally everything thats happened 

he sees mochi down the hallway and hes all “Oh my god., iis..is that...mochi palms????” “YEAH shes in our class too”

at first hes a bit playfully mean to her

BC LAST HE KNOWS HER AND LIME WERE MORTAL ENEMIES

lime has to literally stop him from bullying her and let him know that theyre on good terms already chill out

(hes not a bully by nature but him and lime used to tease her in middle school and he was just backing lime fjdksdf)

FORCEFULLY APOLOGIZES TO HER. “IM SORRY LOL,.,.,,, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE STILL ENEMIES IM NOT A JERK I SWEAR”

mochi just kinda laughs it off. its ok. relax

hes a HUGE like. ghost adventures fan. hes always chasing paranormal cryptid shit. but hes not scared of it. he goes and calls the ghosts asshole wimps

hes the only one out of the group that doesnt live in the town. he has to take like a 10 minute bike ride to the nearest bus stop and then its another 10 minute bus ride to the school

he lives in a very rural country setting outside the city. theres a lot of like farms and feild out there, but his parents wanted to live in the clean quiet air kind of place (insp from my neighbor totoro kind of place)

oscar takes wood shop as an elective, and he kind of likes it. hes made a bunch of wooden little projects for fun. 

hes also pretty good at carving by hand. once he made a little wodden horse,. it had a dumb looking head and its legs were too short, ubt you win some you learn some nfdksf

sometimes the drama club needs some more specific props. mochi has to go ask him for help because coco is too stubborn. “Can’t we just make it out of like????? cardboard?????/ please???????????” “Or we can have oscar do it for free”

this is because once she asked him and he insisted $300 dollars cash payment. mochi asked him later and hes like “OH sure. np👌” we hate him

HE DOESNT HATE COCO HE JUST JOKES AROUND WITH HER SOMETIMES AND FORGETS TO ADD THE “JUST KIDDING” TO THE END OF IT. SO SHE THINKS HES SERIOUS

him and coco got off on the WRONG ASS FOOT. 

1st interaction was when coco was climbing through the window of the classroom, late to class again, with the teacher that hates her. she was trying to be discrete, oscar is sitting right by the window, she has no idea who this new kid even is, tells him “scOOT YOUR ASS BEFORE HE SEES ME”

ofc oscar is like “????? no wtf” AND SHE ENDS UP FALLNIG ON HER FACE. the teacher looks suspiciously in their direction, shes fokojng hiding behind oscar and mochis tables. “WHY ARE YOU MAKING SO MUCH NOISE OVER THERE OSCAR????” 

“Uhhh its not me its this chick hiding behind me”

que to coco running out of the room with the pissed off teacher chasing her (eventually she outsmarts him and makes it back to the room,., another teacher has to sub because all the running made the other one faint. coco: 34, teachers: 0)

“Whyd you rat me out like that you piece of fruit????!??!?!?!” “?????!?!????? I DOnt want to get in trouble fix your time managment next time” life is hard when you meet someone = to your sass level

overall hes not a sassy guy though. hes a good hearted kid and a good soul but he can totally ROAST you if you come after him. so HAHA now cocos super irritated by him,. oscar just kinda lets it go and forgets about it within an hour, coco is salty for 700 days. 

lime is overjoyed that now someone is here that can actually piss her off 

for unknown reasons oscar is supremely capable of pushing her buttons and no one knows how. he doesnt even mean to he can say literally anything and shes annoyed. [confused nick young meme]

his favorite holiday is ALSO HALOWEEN and is the self-proclaimed king of halloween. this sparks the biggest rivalry between two self proclaimed royalty claiming that they go harder on halloween

cocos main interest in the holiday is more of the ‘get free candy, harass young children, tp houses’ vibe, whereas oscars is more,,. ‘im gonna lure out all the ghosts and no one can stop me’

problematic bc coco is actually kind of afriad of ghosts

once mochi and lime had to stay at their shops for part of the night for the trick-or-treaters, so coco and oscar went trick or treating together. oscar LITERALLY had an ouija board and was READY TO CONTACT THE OTHER SIDE,. COCO WAS FREAKED THE HELL OUT “DUDE PUT THAT DEMON SHIT AWAY WTF????????!?!?!?!!!!”

coco is better with makeup but oscars outfits are better quality

he is also the only one to suspect that mochi is more than normal. he cant put his finger on what it is about her exactly but he feels like something is off. his 1st theory was vampire (quickly disproven bc she obviously. goes in the sun. and hes seen her reflection before.

 his 2ND AND MAIN THEORY IS PERHAPS 2) MERMAID.

carries around a notebook to record evidence on supernatural and mochi theories.

“okay 1. lives near the ocean, 2. no one knows of her late night activies, 3. never goes in the water, 4. always drinking water SHE MUST BE A MERMAID”

lime is just shaking his fiukcjng head (post-reveal)

once he saw her cat and literally asked her “..........are you a witch?” at first shes SHOOK but then kinda stares at him for a while, before answering “is this another one of your conspiracy theories” “or a mermaid. are you a mermaid?”

not a bad dancer. actually pretty good,

one time mochi and lime go over to his house for a project. his house is near the border of a big forest. mochi never tells him theres powerful forest spirits in there

but his home is a great safehouse later on. sometimes they make the trip out there just to relax in the mountain air. peaceful(tm)

hes the last of the squad to be introduced, but i havent decided if him or coco find out about mochi first. also havent decided on what his power is going to end up

always drops by mochis shop after school for a snack. hes a little hurt because he has to pay for it whereas lime gets stuff for free LMAOO

he can tell pretty easily that mochi is crushing on lime. he teases lime about mochi too. chaotic nuetral “Have you guys hooked up yet?” “HAHA NOOoo wTF are you TALKING about.,..,..”

the bigass weeb. watches anime and cartoons. pretends like hes the edgy cool guy(tm) but hes really not. literally wears a gravity falls shirt. loser

[heartsoftruth]

1/Hi, I apologize in advance for this long message but I just wanted to ask you if you had ever received insults or criticisms or even guys who harassed you because you're a girl who loves football? I'm asking you this because I live this constantly. Yesterday when Barça won the CDR I was so happy so I shared my joy on my social media and I commented on some FB publications related to the match and the majority of ppl on these pages are men so I have only received insults degrading messages.

Anonymous said:2/I was told to go back to the kitchen, that I should go back to clean, that I loved Barça only for cute players or that I probably didn’t know anything about football and was probably repeating what men around me were saying to look smart,.. I will not tell you everything they told me but it was really degrading and mean, I absolutely did not say anything bad, there were comments from guys who writed bullshit on the post but no one answered them but under mine there was like 100 replies.

Anonymous said:3/And I just wrote “I’m so happy and sad at the same time, I will miss Andres so much, it will not be the same without him..” On my other comments also I received insults like "Come suck my c*ck, you will be more useful” “oh a girl trying to make herself interesting by loving football” “shut your mouth bitch it’s a page for men here, go back to cook” And all that just because I’m a girl, if it had been a man who had commented the same thing they would have agreed with him.

Anonymous said:4/It’s unbelievable that a woman can’t love football as much as a man do without being looked at or asked to justify why she really loves football because if a girl likes football it’s surely because she’s in love with the players or wants to fuck with them or that she invents it to have the attention of men, because it is impossible that a woman can really love or understand football, so when it happens I have to justify myself so that they are convinced that I really like this sport..Anonymous said:5/It’s sad that in 2018 for a lot of ppl women = cooking, doing housework, pleasing men and keep quiet. Usually I avoid going into the football debates of my male friends or those of my family because they automatically make fun of me and my opinion is irrelevant. So if you have a vagina your brain is too stupid to understand football and enjoy it? I’m tired of having to hide my passion for football because I risk being insulted. It’s sad because I know I’m not the only one who suffers this..

Anonymous said:6/I discovered football when I was a child, I quickly became a big fan, I even played it many years but growing up my dad start laughing at me and telling me that I should be more interested in girls stuff and he asked me which player I was as much in love to continue to love football like that and the men around me told me that women’s football was not real football so I should stop playing it, my mother also agreed that I should stop because she was afraid that her daughter become a tomboy.

Anonymous said:7/I was stupid enough to believe theses bullshit and I stopped playing at my club. Yes I am feminine in general, I also like makeup, dresses, shoes and stuff like that but sometimes I like to wear my Barça jersey or football outfits too and when I walk in the street with it I get glances, guys who come to talk to me or say that I’m ridiculous with my jersey, one day 2 guys even come to ask me questions on the club to see if I really know about Barça and that it’s not just to get attention..

Anonymous said:8/It’s tiring and exhausting, I’d like to love this sport without suffering all that, what’s the deal with that, it’s a sport among many, why it’s impossible to let a girl enjoy this sport without belittling her? Why is it so difficult for men to believe that we really love this sport too without necessarily wanting to fuck with players? I’m tired, it’s getting depressing and with all the insults I received yesterday I feel like I’m going to be crazy, I really wanted to cry because of my anger..

Anonymous said:9/If you or the followers of your blog undergo this too, can you tell me how you do to support it or to finish with that please? And if there are guys who follow your blog I’d like them to explain to me, if they do these things, just why ? Why a woman who loves football should deserve so much hate and criticism and why it’s as difficult for guys to accept that women can love football too? I’m really sorry again for this long message but I’m really fed up.. 😫

Heey girlie!! OMG dont apologize for the long message! I feel like you needed to vent a little and then it’s 100% better to just write it all down instead of keeping it in. and DAMN you had all the reasons to vent, because what those neanderthals wrote to you MAKES MY BLOOD BOILLLLLLLLL FUUUUUUCK!!!

BOOOOOILLLLLL!!!! 

Im gonna reply to the parts in parts because otherwise the answer will be an unstructured mess. 

½/3: I dont even know where to start with my first off all comment with this ask! But pffff. It;s so so soooo sad that in 2018 people like that put comments under just a very normal and very correct post. It’s also really sad because probably right now you will think twice before commenting something under a footy Facebook thing. 

AND PLEAAAAASEE! Let me know what kind of FB page that is? I am literally fuming and almost on the verge of making a Twitter account for my Tumblr page to post it on here. It’s not fucking normal that when a girl says something about football guys talk like that. It’s not and it’s not ok. 100 replies under your comment? And all like that?? Pfff. Damn. FUMINGGGGG. 

I can understand you feel bad about it bc of all these people jumping on some kind of bandwagon behind their PC’s. Insecure bunch of dicks! 

4/5: Indeed we women have to know WAAAY more about football then men, because if we dont then we’re not serious about it or only watch it for the guys. “YESSSSS!!! THATS TOTALLY TRUE!!!! I watch 90+ minutes of football just for a few close-ups of the football players I like!!!11!1 Makes total sense” said no women who watches football ever. 

6/7/8/9: aaawhh… That is so sad… :( I can’t imagine how that must have felt as a child to be doing something you love but your parents make it out to be as if it was wrong. Not every girl likes pink and barbies just like not every guy likes blue and cars/football. Indeed I also love make up and getting dressed up etc etc. But I also love sitting in a cafe and watching football with a beer or something haha. 

I never wear a football shirt on the streets - unless im going to a match or watch in a cafe - today was the first time actually in my yellow PSG shirt haha. But no one said anything to me (other than a few hey girl). But it’s sad we have to prove something to these idiots… 

I think we’ve sadly all have had an experience like that. When I was younger and asked my friend at her party (or whatever it was) to see the football score a guy was like “what??? You dont watch it? Well then explain to me what off side is?!” That was the first time some guy asked me it and I did do it, but when someone would ask me it now I said: “You would ask a guy that too who says he watches football? Nope huh? So I won’t show you either!”

In Paris also on the way to the hotel the Uber driver was talking etc etc. And we spoke about football and I said how excited I am to finally see Neymar and hope he’s not injured anymore (because at the time he was stil injured and unclear if he would play) and all that blabla. And in one moment he said (in a joking way) oh you’re only here to see Neymar other than that you dont watch it. And I gave him a reality check real quick. My friend wanted to interfere and talk over it and I was like no no noooo. Lemme say my peace. 

Or at work people know I also love Neymar and then one new colleague thought it was funny (and maybe cool in front of the other guys) to say I only watch football for Neymar. And I gave him a reality check too. 

I used to bite my tongue when it came to that, but nowadays I’m like nope. I dont watch so much football for some insecure dick to be talking like that to me. 

But theres also many guys who you can just have a normal convo with about football. Like yesterday I had one with a guy I didn’t know and he was so chill. Or when I’m in the bar watching you also have guys normally coming up like are you also this nervous etc etc. During the Euro’s too. Met many friendly people who just spoke to us about football. Ok and s

What I also think is one of the problem is because many girls indeed just wear a shirt because it looks cute (which they of course can), but it makes it more difficult for us to be taken serious. Especially with tournaments like the Euros and WC many just watch football bc it’s fun with everyone in a cafe but they have no idea what they’re watching. And end up only confirming some of the thoughts by these neathertals. 

Can I ask you where you’re from btw?And please do tell which bs ass fb page you posted this one. I would be a good thing to create all these accounts to back you up or something. 

And indeed I’m curious too how other followers react to stupid comments like that?

And keep watching the sport you love girl! I know its tough at times being doubted to often for just watching something you like but lets hope that someday no one will question why we watch the sport we love. 

[thelifetimechannel]

====>

[arthurflecksgirl]

Joker saving a girl from bad guys

This one was requested by hausofbaloons on twitter. I hope you will like it :)

Warnings: Violence and sexual harassement (not graphic but still)

I couldnt sleep. This town wouldnt let me close my eyes.

The sound of the traffic, the traffic lights before my windows. It was all too much. Gotham was so noisy yet so dead when you took a closer look to it.

I didnt even knew what got me here. All I knew was that I couldn`t afford my old apartment in my hometown anymore, so I moved in this very bad neighborhood close to Anderson Ave.

Finding a new job here was difficult,too. I was lucky enough to find one that at least would make enough money to pay the rent. The place was called HAHas. They rent party clowns. I didnt even knew anything about clownery, how they called it. I lied when I told Mr Hoyt that I have experience and hoped he wouldn`t notice. Not until I found a "real" job. I really didn`t wanted to end up as a clown.

They said it would take them a few days to get some clown clothes that would fit a girl. Which made me nervous. It seemed like I would be the only girl working there. But for the moment I just had to eccept this situation. Some day I would hopefully get back on my feet.

Watching out the window made me feel  disconnected to the world. Its funny how a new place can change your point of view about so many things. Some places consume you in such an short amount of time. That`s how I felt about this town since the day I unpacked my things and slept in my new bedroom for the first time. Everything felt...wrong. It felt wrong being here, sleeping here, existing in general felt like a chore. Amd looking at these people out on the streets, they must feel the same. My eyes were focused on a little girl with her mother. How aweful it must be to raise your kid here. To grow up here. I just wanted to leave already.

I drank the last sip of my tea and got dressed. Deep down I knew it wasnt a good idea to go out at 10 pm in the evening. At least not here in Gotham, I´ve heard that some alleys are really dangerous to walk through. But I didnt knew which ones, so I tried to avoid all of them. Which wasnt possible all of the time. I left the house, freezing a bit. It was colder outside than I thought. At least the radiator was working. All these streets looked the same. I didnt even knew where to go, just wanted some fresh air, get this tiredness out of my bones.

I wish I had something to be passionate about again. Passion was something I seemed to have lost somewhere along the way. Some days I felt like a robot, only functioning for others. I did things but I havent FELT them for years. It makes a huge difference if you just keep on doing things or if you really feel them.  I wasnt sure what made me stop feeling myself anymore. It just happened. Failed relationships, friends you lose along the way, working,... all these kinda things that consume you, leaving nothing left but the shell of you. I guess this town would`t help.

Walking this neighborhood felt lonely, even while being surrownded by people. But at the same time there was proof that I wasnt the only lifeless zombie in this universe. There were other robots, just like me. The walking dead. Shouldn`t this make it hurt less? Shouldn`t this be comforting?

I was so lost in my thoughts I didnt even payed attention to where I was heading to. Most streets still remained unfamiliar to me.  I hestitated when I realized that I  didn`t knew where I was anymore. All this garbage, the bad smell. I felt something on my foot and screamed. A rat. The biggest rat I have ever seen in my life. This place was aweful. I really had to go and find some place nicer a few blocks away from here. The sun went down hours ago, everything started to look the same. I felt tired. Insomnia really had me in its arms.

Whispers. In the corners of the streets. On the sidewalks. I wanst sure if my mind was only playing tricks with me. Being alone in a city like this, at 9 pm in the afternoon could do that to you. I should have stayed home in my bed. The bed that didnt felt like mine anymore.

The whispers got louder and I was convinced that it wasnt my mind playing around as I satrted to hear steps behind me "Hey doll ! Where are you heading?"

The voice of a young man and another one laughing right behind me. I felt fear crawling up my insides. I didnt even had any with me to defense myself. I grabbed my keys, so I could scratch them with it if they would attack me. My hand was shaking while I reached down in my pockets.

"Hey, baby. Stop. We are talking to you!"

I didnt knew what to do. Should I run? Should I stop, trying to calm them down by acting friendly? My hand so close around my keys I hurt myself. It was already too late to run away, one of them grabbed me by the arm. So firm I couldnt move it to use the keys anymore. That was it. Only some weeks in Gotham city and I was already dead. I should have known better.

"Take her stuff!" the other one yelled. He sounded obvously drunk. "I will" he hurt my arm again "But... I think there is even more we could do besides taking her stuff..." he grabbed my bag, hew it to the other guy and pushed me against the wall, violently. With his alcoholic breath. I felt my eyes watering. "Don`t cry baby doll. i`m sure you`re gonna like it".  The other one was laughing, while he took my money and cards. "Oh, you can have her. I already made out with the other girl an hour before" more laughter.  "Good" he yelled into my face "More left for me". Hands on my chest. Hands everywhere as he started to pull up my shirt. A whimper. it was mine. I started crying. "Stop crying you stupid bitch!" I tried to stop but i couldnt.

And suddenly a shot fell. And another one.

I still felt his firm hands around my arm as he hesitated to take a look around. thats when I saw the other guy lying face down on the ground. Blood tripping from his body. He wasnt moving anymore. "What the fuck?"  he let go of me, running to his buddy.

Thats when I looked the other way.

There was someone standing inthe alley with us. It was dark but I still could make out the color of his suit. It was red. And he was holding a gun in his left hand.  He came closer as the guy who wanted to rape me was yelling at the dead body on the ground.

His face was painted like a clown. A red nose, a big smile and blue around his eyes. His hair was slick back, slightly curly and green, almost reaching down his shoulders. He looked intimitating. But for some reason I wasn`t afraid of him.

"Are you okay?" the clown came up to me,touching my shoulder very carefully."Yeah...I guess I am".

I was still in shock. I just witnessed murder. This guy just shot someone in front of my eyes. He walked up slowly to the other guy.

"You shot my best friend!" the guy yelled.

"Get up!" the clown said

The guy was getting up. It felt like watching a slow motion scene.

"He didnt deserved to live. He was about to watch you raping her."

"So what? Maybe I can`t have her today. But there is always a tomorrow."

The man in the red suit took a step towards him

"You think so, huh?"

"Of course" the drunk guy said, looking at me with his hungry eyes "I would make her scream and..."

Another shot.

And after that. Nothing but silence and his  gentle hand upon my shoulder again "They can`t hurt you anymore". He lit himself a cigarette, sucking the smoke in like nothing just happened. The two dead bodies lying in front of us.

"Thank you for saving me from these guys...but....you just SHOT them !" my voice cracked.

He blew the smoke out "I know. They would have found another victim. These kinda guys never stop." He pulled my shirt down. It was still up from all the grabbing. "I just hope you`re okay. You`re shaking." There was somthing so comforting in his voice. I felt so torn between being shocked and being reliefed that someone saved me from what was about to happen.

"I`m still... in shock I guess. He tried to..."

"I know. Thats why I took care of it. People can be aweful. Especially here in Gotham city. You should even be out here on the streets alone".

His eyes pierced me. It was hard to not be attracted to him. Maybe it was the shock. I flt like a compleate freak, feeling save talking to someone who just shot two guys in an dark alley while waring clown make up. He obviously wasnt a cop or something. He must  have been some kind of criminal himself. I shouldn`t  even keep talking to him. "Do you live far from here?" he grabbed my stuff that was still lying on the ground, made sure to collect it all together and handed it to me "Sorry for the blood on it." There was something so careless about him, after mudering two men. And yet he seemed to care so much about if i`m okay.  I wondered if it was the first time that he killed someone.

I took my purse and the rest of my things "Um....no not that far. Maybe a 30 minutes walk. But I just moved here and lost track of the streets. It was so dark and I`m not sure how to find back home anymore."

He threw the last bit of his cig aon the ground "I could walk you home if you want. Which street is it?"

I didnt wanted to tell him my exact adress "Near Anderson ave".

"You`re kidding, right? I lived in Anderson ave all my life. I mean...I still do actually". He put the gun back in his pocket.

"Oh so you know the way back?"

"Sure"

I thought about this for a minute. Wasn`t this insane?

"Look, you don`t have to. I can go now" he said "I just wanna let you know that I wouldnt ever hurt you. i just killed those guys because they wanted to do bad things to you and they also said they would do it again. Its okay if you don`t trust me. Just let me know if I should walk you home. I dont mind eighter way."

His voice was so soft. I couldnt stop staring at the way he was using his hands while talking . They seemed to floath through the air. The way he moved was graceful. His slender body in the red suit makde me feel something. I was just very drawn to this stranger.And even though he did something bad. He only did it to save me. I decited to let him walk me home.

"No. I belive you. You can walk me home"

"Great" it almost looked like he was dancing as he turned around, smirking.

I was walking right next to him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"Why are you wearing clown make up?" i pointed at his face.

"I used to work as a party clown"

"Really?"

"yeah"

"Thats funny. I just got a new job here at Haha`s. "

His face immediately darkened. Did I said something wrong.

"At Haha`s, huh?"

I didnt dared to say answer. His face expression changed in between seconds.

"I know that place."

"Do you.... work there too?

"Not anymore"

I nooded. this subject didnt seemed to be a good choice for conversation. So I remained  silent. He didnt said anything anymore eighter. Everything about this felt weird but being around him was indeed very exciting.

"So this alley leads to Anderson ave" as we arrived at my block.

"Oh, I know the way from here. I don`t know how to thank you..."

He smiled. It was more of a smirk really. Behind all the make up. I was wondering how he would look like without the face paint. His facial expression was so interesting. Still intense behind all of this clown make up.

"No need to thank me" he said while his eyes kept piercing me. I wasnt sure how I should say goodbye to the one that just saved me. Maybe my life even.  So I just offered him a hug. he leaned towards me and let me hug him. His hands oddly lying on my back, barely touching me. He seemed kinda shy, which was very surprising.  For a brief moment I felt his cheek on mine. I even felt the softness of the white face paint upon my skin. Shivers running down my spine. I coulnt help it. Feeling him letting go of our hug almost hurted me. What was happening?

"So, since you dont live far from here, maybe I´ll see you around?"

He reached down his pocket, pulled out a pen,a piece of paper and started writing "Here is my number. I mean, just in case someone is bothering you again. Or following you.  Just call me when something feels wrong."

A card is falling out of his pocket. He pickes it up, looking at it for a little bit too long. I couldnt tell what it said but it must have been something important to him. He seemed nervous as he put it back "Not this one." he mumbled.

I once again told him how thankful I was before we said our goodbyes.

Heading back ome after all of this felt surreal. Did that really happen? I turned around and he was still standing there, lightening another cig.

I looked at the piece of paper he gave to me.

Arthur.

That was his name.

A beautiful name.

Just as beautiful as he was.

As soon as I got home, I hoped into bed. Once again I wasnt tired. How could I`ve been tired after this? I was more awake than ever. That face. I put his number on my bedside table, lying on my back. i just coulnt stop thinking about how his bare  face might have looked like. Would I even be able to notice him on the streets without his costume and make up? His green eyes and the smirk haunted me all night long. Arthur. He forgot to put his last name on it. Or was that onpurpose. Eighter way I had his number.

And then out of the sudden I realized that I haven`t thought about the fact that he might get caught and locked up for killing two strangers on the sidewalk. Panic was spreading inside of me like a tumor. If he would get caught it would be my fault. He killed them to save my life. I could have never forgiven myself that.

My heart told me I should get up, grab the phone and call him. Asking him how he would try to not being caught. If there was any plan or... This was ridicilous. What could I possibly say to him? I guess he was aware of what he just did. I started sweating and opened my window. More noises of people yelling at each other.  What an aweful city. He seemed like the only nice person I have met since I moved here. With his face and voice in my mind, I was finally able to FEEl something again. The sensation of having strong emotions was something I thought I lost. And all of the sudden I imagined this stranger in my mind. Someone I knew nothing about. But he made me feel something. It was like awakening from a long, dark sleep. Maybe my heart wasn´t dead yet. Maybe there was a spark left inside of me. And he lit it. Not only because he saved me. It was his presence. The way he looked right though me. His cheek against mine. Those hands. Images of fresh memories started to floath my mind and I enjoyed it. I finally enjoyed something again. It was like I felt my own heart beating in my chest. I havent felt that for years. Sometimes I didnt even knew if it was still beating anymore. And now it was so loud. A competition to the traffic outside.

And after hours of thinking about him I finally fell asleep to the sound of the traffic.

Red painted lips.

A fake smile covering a real smile.

I put one figer on his upper lip. I can feel a scar.

Pressing it softly, before his face comes closer.

He leans in before I feel the softest kiss upon my lips.

I woke up, rubbing my eyes, realizing that I just dreamed about kissing this total stranger. He really managed to get into my mind. I still felt his lips on mine. I thought about his hands. I took a close look to them when he was holding the gun. They looked so gentle. I caught myself thinking about how it would feel to be touched by those hands. To hold them.

I got up, made a coffe and got dressed. I had to go to the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills. I just couldnt do this anymore. Lying awake all night drained the life out of me.

Gotham looked the same way at daylight as it looked at night. Just as dark and depressing. Hopefully the sleeping pills would help me find some rest again.

After I arrived the pharmacist asked me if I had experience with sleeping pills and told me about all the side effects. i just wanted to get out of ther for gods sake. Two minutes laer she was still taking to me, not even realizing I wansnt listening anymore, someone else entered the room. I was glad because she was alone there and had to  serve the other costumer now. But she still kept talking.

Suddenly a voice from behind interrupted her "No, the other ones are actually better. And you can get them without a recipe,too."

"Excurse me?" the lady said "The ones on the left" a tiney looking man with brown curls was coming up to us. He pointed at the meds, looking at me "Belive me. You want those. Not the ones on the right. They will give you bad nightmares."

"Oh. Okay thank you, Mr." I looked at the pharmacist "So, I want those, please" she gave me a look and told me how much they were. I payed, taking another look to the man beside me, as he put different receipes on the counter.

There was something about his facial features. His eyes. Those piercing eyes.

The lady gave him an annoyed look "As usual, Mr. Fleck?"

"Yeah"

"Alright. Give me a minute to get them"

He nodded.

His hands.

"Arthur?" I wasnt sure if I was out of my mind but he reminded me of the clown who saved me last night.

He immediately faced me when I said his name. IT WAS HIM.

"Yes?"

"Its you right? You were the..... " I whispered "The clown that saved me last night"

He smiled in a very shy way, he lowered his voice "I was".

That feeling. There is was again. I didnt knew what was happening to me. I just fell for this man. His bare face even more beautiful than I imagined.

The sales woman came back, handing him out three bottles of meds.  He hesitated to put them into his pocket, like he was afraid I might get a closer look to it. I finally took my sleeping pills,too. Still staring at him.

"I thought about you last night" saying the words out loud I just realized how it sounded like "I mean...not like that. Oh my god this is embarrassing. I`m sorry."

You don`t have to be embarrassed.. what was your name again?"

"I`m Y/N"

"Hi Y/N!" he offered me his hand. HIS HAND! The one I dreamed about last nicht. Fantasized about being touched by it. His skin was even softer in reality. We got out of the pharmacy together, standing in the middle of the crowded streets.

"Arthur, I have to thank you once again and I was woried about you. Umm..You can imagin why. "

His arms hung down on him in a weird way. A body languare so differently from last night. So shy, intimidated even. By what? By me?

"Don`t worry about me Y/N. I always get back on my feet."

"Yeah well " my heart was racing in my chest while looking at him "You were the only one here that was ever nice and taking notice since I moved here. I`m always alone since I`m a citizen of Gotham city"

He lit a cig "I can imagin. I`m alone since the day I was born"

Why would he say that?I noticed how sad his eyes were, behind his stare, behind the piercing look of his green eyes, there was so much sadness. I had a better look into them now in the daylight. His beautiful face looked kinda tired. Tired of life.

I knew that feeling. I wanted it to fade from his face. I wanted his eyes to light up. And I wanted to be the reason for that.

"Arthur, do you want to go out with me? Like... for a coffee?"

His hand started to shake a little "You mean like a date?"

"Um..." I felt myself blushing "I dont know....if you want it to be one."

He smiled "If YOU want it to be one."

We headed to the next coffee shop, not saying a word as our hands touched slightly ,but our smiles said it all.

Maybe we both were alone.

But now it was time to be alone together.

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @jokerhoe @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes @downtoclown-around @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker @casiaregina @check-out-this-joker @mrsjfleck @darknessisafriend @bring-your-holy-water @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown @yami-rhs @mrsjfleck @cmollica @mollyxlyla-rosex @widkkfowpqpsnanq @rhokie @neon-umbrella-for-stella @queenie70 @casiaregina @missmayx @these-written-reveries @cherrymoon75