#''aren't you way to busy taking care of everybody else to take care of yourself''

[yourelosingains]

why is summer child by conan gray literally will byers

[universalitgirlsblog2]

🧁🍥STOP BEING LAZY AND PATHETIC🧁🍥

This post is my notes of Thewizardliz video on how to stop being lazy and pathetic. This account will be my digital notebook where I will write notes from Liz and Tam Kaur's videos ( LOL ) .

🧁WHO ARE LAZY PEOPLE ?

Lazy people are the forgotten ones. People that don't want to do anything with their lives, they will always end up on a sideline.

🍥REALIZE THAT NO ONE CARES IF YOU ARE LAZY

Everybody has problems. No one cares about your victim mindset and about how life was hard or unfair for you. Life is unfair to everyone . Life goes on. Everyone is busy with their own lives. We got to get moving !

🧁YOU AREN'T LAZY , YOU ARE PRIVILEGED

People that need to survive have no option to be lazy . People that are walking up the stairs and they can barely breathe , they have no option anymore than to lose that weight. People that are so vulnerable and their bodies cannot handle of them being so underweight have no option but to lose weight. People that have to go to work otherwise there is no food on the table. They have no option to be lazy. If you have the option to be lazy, you are privileged.

🍥THE HALO EFFECT

The halo effect is when we see a beautiful person , we will think that they are less likely to do something bad because we associate someone beautiful with being a good person. Its the same way with successful person. If we see a successful person in any field , we will assume that they are successful in all their aspects of life. Suppose if a person have a successful business , we will automatically think that they are successful in their relationships and everywhere. If you are lazy , you can't benefit from the halo effect . It takes effort to be beautiful and to maintain beauty. We only see these successes , we don't see the progress. Most people are privileged and have it all but most people come from zero and create it for themselves. It takes discipline.

🧁FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE FORCE : HEALTH , DIET AND RELATIONSHIPS

When you feel that you are lazy , focus on your life force . What is your life force ? Health and diet. Focus on moving your body and eat foods that don't spike your insulin and eat food that nourish your body. When you feel lazy or don't feel good , don't isolate yourself. Connect with your family and friends. Also focus on your relationship with yourself. What are you engaging your mind in ? Be connected to your own energy. Journal. Sometimes God or your guides are speaking to you but because your mind is constantly racing , you can't listen to them.

🍥CREATE ROUTINES AND STICK TO THEM

Humans need routines. You need a structurised routine. Sometimes we can't stick to routines but we need a base so we have something to go back to. I would like to add something here , I am reading a book by Brianna Wiest , it's called 101 essays that will change the way you think. There was line in the book . " As children, routine gives us a feeling of safety. As adults , it gives us a feeling of purpose ."

🧁CLEAN SPACE IS SELF RESPECT

Clean space is a clean mind. Not even cleaning after yourself is a sign of huge disrespect to yourself. Stop reading this and clean your room right now !!!!!

🍥THERE IS REASON WHY YOU MADE THAT COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF

Remember the reason . Remind yourself, " Why did I even start ? " " Why did I even want this goal ?" . If you don't want the goal anymore then do something else.

🧁THINK ABOUT WHAT STORY ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF

If you are telling yourself that you are a lazy person , you will act like one. Your mom didn't carry you for 9 months just for you to say that you are lazy. Get a hold of yourself. Don't complain about how you don't have your dream life if you are lazy.

🍥REALISE YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR REALITY ANY SECOND

You can change your realities really fast if you start acting like the person you want to become.

🧁HEAL THE PAST AND MOVE ON

Go to therapy and heal from the past. You can change your story around . If you are a victim of trauma or abuse , don't just go around and tell people because they lose respect for you .

🍥YOUR BODY RESPONDS TO YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

If you are constantly living in the past , reliving it , your body will make you ill. If you want a different outcome and different future, you have to do things differently. People around you don't need to change, you have the power to control that. You have the responsibility to heal yourself. What others did to you , it is on them . They will get their karma.

🧁ARE YOU LAZY OR DID YOU STOP PROGRESSING ?

People become happy when they start progressing. We constantly need that drive or something to strive for. Create a new project . Find a new hobby. Learn a new skill. Do something that you haven't tried before or pick something you used to love.

🍥TOO MUCH INFORMATION MAKES US LAZY

There is so much information on the internet to the point we don't know what to do. There are so many videos on the best diet , skincare or workout , we get consumed in other people's opinions and lives. We start filling their lives with our energy. ( Just a suggestion; you can search workout or skincare recommendations but at the end you should choose a diet or skincare or workout which suits you , not others )

🧁ARE YOU TOO CONSUMED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES ?

If you wonder to yourself : Why do I not have any energy left for myself ? Because you are too consumed in other people's lives so you aren't living your own.

🍥FEELINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT

Feelings are just feelings. If we all just react to go out of emotions we would all unalive each other.

🧁ALLOW YOUR FEELINGS TO PURGE AND YOUR BODY TO HEAL.

Feelings purge by you feeling them. Release your emotions , don't suppress them . If you suppress those Feelings, they will get stored in your body and might show up later as physical illness. Sleeping is also healing. Let your body heal. Once that's done , get up and do something . Don't dwell there for too long.

🍥WHAT DO YOU FEEL VS WHAT DO YOU WANT ?

If you feel like eating unhealthy food but then you want your dream body. It doesn't correlate. You need to have discipline.

🧁COURAGE IS BEING VULNERABLE

Go outside and try to meet new people. Do something which you wouldn't normally do .

🍥LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP.

Learn to accept help. Sometimes God send people to help you. Ask help from God and you will receive help in miraculous ways.

🧁BE PRODUCTIVE ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

What does productivity look like for you ? What are your goals? Create that productivity mindset and visions. What works for others may not work for you.

🍥ARE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU DRAINING YOUR ENERGY ?

If you have toxic people around you , you are constantly around them , you are going to feel bad. Distance yourself. No one can make you feel upset, you have the control over how you feel.

🧁CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON SITUATIONS.

Most people are projecting their insecurities. Instead of feeling angry, have compassion for them. Similiarily , if you are going through a break up instead of thinking that they were the last person on earth. Think that your souls were meant to cross and then meant to separate. You learnt your lesson and they learn their lesson.Change your perspective on things .

🍥FOCUS ON THE THINGS YOU CAN DO

Think about three things you can do . What is your passion ? What makes you happy ? Who makes you happy ? Be grateful for these things. Realise that you can do alot and remind yourself of what you can actually do.

[luveline]

I am so incredibly sick rn and desperately craving some Hotch comfort—maybe bau!gf who desperately tries to hide the fact that she’s sick even when she’s burning up and can’t keep her eyes open, and Hotch who just wants to take care of her!!

thank you for your request! i hope you feel better soon. —hotch fights to take care of you when you hide a fever. fem!reader, 1.4k

Spencer knows you're sick, but he's the only one who's figured it out so far. Everybody else is too busy. 

He pushes your coffee toward him and exchanges it for a cup of water without saying anything. You're relieved to find it's ice cold, fighting to drink it without spilling it, or worse, pressing it to your furnace of a forehead. 

"Just go home," he says. 

"I like it here," you say lightly.

"You're fatigued, obviously running a fever, and probably disoriented if your eyes are anything to go off of." 

"Are they?" you ask, eyes fluttering closed. 

You prop yourself on your hand. Having a desk right next to Spencer has its ups and downs. Ups including physics magic, surprise trinkets, and all the donuts you can eat. Downs include this —he's too good at his job but bad at taking a hint, so while he's realised that you're sick and tired and should probably head home, he hasn't stopped to think you might be keeping it a secret for a reason. 

If you take more sick leave already after your week long bout of food poisoning only a fortnight ago, it will look like you're trying to take advantage of Hotch. You don't want the team thinking you're cheating and you don't want Hotch to think this is how it’s going to be. You’d never use him like that, but it’s so early into the relationship that there’s no way for him to know that for sure. 

You take a measured breath. You're the kind of sick that yearns for bed, head heavy, a pounding pain behind your eyebrows and a nose you can't breathe through. Your lips are chapped despite the thick layer of balm you applied that morning. The weight of a bowling ball rests in your sinuses. Your head begins to list forward. 

"Y/N?" 

You look up, rubbing your forehead as nonchalantly as you can manage. Hotch stands with a hand on the railing of his half-platform, eyebrows pulled together as they tend to be. 

You like the sound of your name on his lips, even if it's said with question. 

"Yeah?" you ask. 

Before, it would've been, Yes, sir? But Hotch told you (while in boyfriend mode, assumedly) that it makes him hot around the collar (though he'd said it more delicately), so now you save it for special occasions, like when you want to get your way, and when he looks especially perturbed.

"Something wrong?" he asks. 

He can't like the way you say, "I'm fine," maybe he spots the far-away look in your eyes, your poorly concealed wince as your head throbs, maybe he just knows you. He gives you a look bordering reproachful and turns away. 

"My office," he says.  

Spencer sends you a pointed look. When he realises you aren't awake enough to glare back, he nudges you encouragingly. "Be honest," Spencer says. 

You almost fall up the short steps to the landing in front of Hotch's office. You don't knock before entering, and later you'll realise how odd this is. Hotch hasn't even sat down, instead straightening a paper from the wrong side of the desk. 

"What's wrong? Another migraine?" he asks. 

"No. I'm alright, did you want something?" 

He turns around fully. You like seeing him after hours without his suit, arms behind his tired neck and eyes half-lidded, but this look is just as good on him: furrowed brows, a hand twitching toward you but not touching. He tries not to cross the line here at work because when it starts it never ends. Your evaluations have to be cross examined and approved by a higher up, you are not permitted to room together on cases, and you have to report to HR every three to six weeks to reaffirm that Hotch isn't being coercive. It's odd and invasive at times, but these are things you have to do to be together. You'd do worse. 

"Did I want something?" he asks. It's more patient than incredulous, but the incredulity is definitely there. 

"From me?" 

"I want lots of things from you." He breaks eye contact with you and turns back to his things, shuffling papers into a manila folder. You blink dozily, wanting a hug and needing him to let you go back to your desk lest you give in and lean against his broad chest. "Like for you to take care of yourself." 

"I'm fine." 

"Forgive me if this is something I shouldn't say, but you don't look okay. You look sick." 

You summon your most convincing smile even while his back is turned and enthuse your tone with some practised pep. "Well, it's not the most romantic thing in the world." 

He ties the cord on his manilla envelope and clicks open his briefcase. It's a testament to how sick you are that you didn't notice it there, nor his coat thrown over the edge of the desk. 

"You going somewhere?" you ask curiously. 

"I'm taking you home, honey." 

You shake your head. "No, you're not. I'm fine." 

Hotch puts his coat on regardless. Briefcase closed and in hand, he walks the short distance to you and scans your expression for any give. "Let's go home." 

"Hotch–" 

"Home," he says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "No more 'Hotch'." 

You take a step back but not one more than that, startled by his readiness to leave, and his reluctance to believe you. You're a bad actor and he's trained in the art of untangling deception —it isn't going to work. You give it a valiant effort. 

"You don't have the resources to give me the day off. You definitely don't have the resources to take a day off with me, and that's fine because I'm not sick." You rub your face clean, dust off your work blouse. "I have a headache, it's not so bad." 

Hotch actually smiles, then. You worked for him for three months before you realised he could. It isn't what you're expecting. It disarms you.

"Liar," he says, ducking down to give you a kiss. He sounds amused and sorry at once, an impossible combination marked by his small smile and his protective hand at your elbow. 

Every kiss is like a shock. Not because Hotch is particularly abrasive to the senses, the opposite —it feels right. 

"I'm not lying," you say.

"Take the day off with me, then." 

He knows he's being a bit of a bastard, evidenced by his smile, but he sobers for your sake. "You're lying to me, but that's not what matters. I can feel your head like a flame and I'm not even touching it. And you've kept your secret well, honey, but Reid's a good friend." 

"What did he tell you?" you murmur. 

"You fell asleep for sixteen seconds." 

"When?" you ask in disbelief.

"A couple of minutes before I called for you." Hotch squeezes your arm. 

"If we go home you'll have so much work to do when we come back," you lament. 

"It'll be the same as any other day," he says. He's slipped into his most dulcet tone, the kind he uses with family. "I am… desperate, to take care of you. I can't do that here. Please oblige me and let me do it at home." 

"Oblige you?" you ask. 

"Being your boyfriend isn't working. I thought I would try boss instead." 

You relent, finally. You genuinely can't abstain from him anymore, not when he's being as ridiculously charming and gentle as he is, his hand steadying at your elbow. Plus, your brain is probably gonna explode inside of your skull any second now if your headache is anything to go by. You drop your face into his chest and sigh, relieved when his hand moves to your shoulder, and his cheek presses to the top of your head. 

"This is inappropriate," you mumble. 

"You're really not well, hm?" he asks, just as quietly. "I'd be negligent if I didn't take notice. Doubly negligent if I didn't take you home." 

"Human resources…" You mean to say more. He's solid, he wants to hug you, and he smells like his expensive cologne. Hotch has a presence about him that's automatically comforting once you overcome the intimidating. Sometimes, even, the intimidating helps it along. You feel sheltered by his arms. Totally safe. It's probably why you nearly pass out in his embrace right there and then. 

"Okay," he says, rubbing your back. "Alright. I'll let human resources know your complaint, honey, don't worry. Let's get you to the car." 

[conangray-marauders-fest]

Reveals Day 3

Happy Reveals Day 3!

As a reminder, please keep in mind that a lot of Conan's material (and the Marauders Fandom) can be angsty, so please mind all ratings and tags!

silent war - by fictional_simp09

Remus struggles to deal with the events of Halloween 1981

~ Based on the song Eye of the Night by Conan Gray

Young Love Don't Last For Life - by Anonymous

Stop trying to keep us alive You're pointing at stars in the sky that already died Stop trying to keep us alive You can't force the stars to align when they've already died - Or, Remus learns to adjust after Sirius' arrest.

let me tell you a story - by messervixen

Based on the Conan Gray song The Story!! PLEASE look at tags this fic is rated mature because it is triggering

Lily and James start dating in sixth year and many people are unhappy about it.

summer child (you don't have to act like all you feel is mild) - by ephemeralstarss

aren't you way too busy taking care of everybody to take care of yourself?

Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty. - by capewcine

When you’re in love with your male best-friend, and have gut-wrenching suspicions that he likes somebody else; that he likes a girl.

Please feel free to reblog, comment, kudos, and otherwise encourage the participants! They worked so hard!

[notmorbid]

even as we breathe.

dialogue prompts from even as we breathe: a novel by annette saunooke clapsaddle.

my plan didn't quite work the way i thought it would.

you sure have a way with words.

should i be afraid?

empathy is fossilized in our bones.

if you keep your mouth shut and your ears open, you might just learn a thing or two.

there's rumors about this place, you know.

sometimes i poke fun when i'm on edge.

i want to be respected, not respectable.

just ignore me. heck, everyone else does.

have you ever felt like everybody was staring at you?

your demeanor is distinctly unwelcoming.

humility has its place.

don't do anything to get yourself fired.

nothing scary about nothingness. it's the something you should be afraid of.

you didn't play games going up?

i never feel like people are telling me the whole truth.

everyone has their own take, their own theory.

biblical references aren't exactly my forte.

but how will i know when i'm done?

you don't need to lie to make me feel better.

it's just how i was raised.

tell me about your family.

i'm surprised you don't already know all my business. everybody else sure does.

you speak of the dead so easily.

thought i might have to wake you for dinner.

is this your hiding place?

i'm not scared. i'm mad.

you make odysseus look like a joyrider.

not all love is made of equal parts.

what's wrong with you today?

everything okay back home?

it's not forever. just try to remember that.

just trying to stay out of trouble.

you can't prepare yourself for things like this.

you knew and you didn't tell me.

it's too early in the morning for ghost stories.

you were always my soft place to land.

i need you to see me.

i thought i was protecting you.

i do care about you. you're my best friend.

something about war buddies ties people together forever.

there's always at least an ounce of truth in storytelling.

sometimes i think you've seen more than you've told me.

i can't imagine leaving without you.

you truly can be such a raincloud.

i got used to it. i didn't know anything else.

i don't mean to lay a bunch of heavy stuff on you.

sometimes the answers are not the ones you want to hear.

sometimes you have to decide if you want truth or peace.

i can't believe we're having a conversation about this.

what's happening to me?

i'm not sure i'd be able to teach you, but i can try.

i don't mind listening. listening is easy.

i'm sure you'll find the right home, in the end.

sometimes not knowing your own story is the most damaging thing of all.

i once had to be quiet to survive.

i thought i told you i didn't want to see you again.

you sure can't catch a break, can you?

i never knew how to ask.

you're too mean to let anything keep you down for too long.

nobody deserves to die alone.

you've used me up.

do you think i love ____ more than i love you?

i do love you. i always will. but we have to accept the hands we're dealt.

when i was young, i wanted nothing more than to get as far away from here as i could get.

[howlingday]

an au where jaune becomes a sheriff of a little town in the DC universe after he learns he has super powers he also takes up search and rescue training ems training and even volunteers as a firefighter. his rouges gallery is his friends from beacon who aren't evil they just produce the normal amount of collateral damage associated with them while they try to fight the small time gangs in vale. he also occasionally gets called up by justice leaguers to help either with combat or just to talk (mostly just to talk so many of them have mental issues they need help with) take us through a day in the life of sheriff jaune arc a guy who just wants to help without causing any problems

Sheriff Arc

You ever have a really bad day? Like, even worse than what you were trained for? Like, for example, you work in a sandwich shop and some fancy-looking guy comes in and tells you he wants soup. You don't make soup, but they're insistent, and it's obvious they're not leaving, even if you call the police? Well...

Jaune: Still no sign of him.

Radio: (Muffled chattering) Copy that, sheriff. What's your plan.

Jaune: I don't want to waste chopper fuel, but-

Radio: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WASTE! FIND MY NEPHEW!

Yeah. That's the soup lady. Or, well, she's a farmer, but a really importantly farmer. Her nephew, whom she holds guardianship over, ran away from home. Can't imagine why with such a lovely aunt to take care of him.

But that's not fair to her. She's just worried about her nephew. And I honestly can't blame her. If Adrian suddenly disappeared, I'd be looking all over for him, come hell or high water.

Wait a minute. High water.

Jaune: Hey, when was the last rainstorm we had?

Radio: Two nights ago. Lasted pretty much all day, morning to night, and got up to about seven inches. We needed it.

There's a river that runs through the forest. Well, maybe "river" is being generous, but the rain could have upgraded the stream to a river, and the pond in the woods into a swamp.

And the old tunnel by the pond into an underwater cave.

Jaune: I've got a lead. Send a boat crew to the pond, and bring scuba gear.

---------------------------------------------------

The Rat Tunnels. An old relic from the Great War. It was first built for smuggling purposes, then when the Great War broke out, it turned into a bunker for... well, anyone who could get ahold of it.

Then it was left alone when the war ended. Could be anything in there.

Well, anything except people, I hope. As spacious as it may seem at the entrance, you have to be pretty small to fit yourself inside. About as small as a rat.

Jaune: (In scuba gear) I'm going in. (Dives)

Everything is soaked around me. The bank is supposed to end way lower than where it is now. But it didn't, and now it's soaked into the bunker.

To say everything was dark inside would be an understatement. So dark, you can't see your hand in front of you. And dark means cold, and that's exactly what it was inside, too. Gotta move fast, or else hypothermia will settle in.

Really hope this kid isn't catching it.

---------------------------------------------------

???: I'm looking for Jaune Arc.

Jaune: I am Jaune Arc.

???: The REAL Jaune Arc.

Jaune: I am the real Jaune Arc.

???: I'm looking for Sheriff Arc.

Jaune: Oh... You could have just started with that.

---------------------------------------------------

I can feel my fingers tingling. Definitely not good. I could pull back, but until I find him, I can't pull out. Just a little further.

Keep going forward.

Jaune: (Slaps out of the water) Found him! I'm gonna need a medevac. He looks real cold.

Radio: Negative, Sheriff. Just got word of another heavy rainstorm coming in. Heli won't fly in this weather.

Jaune: Shoot. I dunno if this kid will last much longer in here. Can we get a second diver in here with a spare bottle?

Radio: Negative. Everybody's too busy with other tasking.

Jaune: ...Mm. Can't climb out. What do I do?

???: Sacrifices must be made...

Jaune: Huh?

???: He must live...

Jaune: What the hell? Who's there?

???: Breathe.

???: Help him breathe.

Jaune: ...What I would give for an extra pair of lungs.

---------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Come on! It wasn't me!

Neptune: Uh-huh, and who else graffitis roses all over town?

Ruby: It's not all over town. It's just the parts of town not already tagged... I'm assuming.

Neptune: Yeah, sure, and-

Radio: All units. All units. Requesting Arc recall at earliest convenience.

Neptune: Ah, crap... Listen, I... Wait. Where did she?

Ruby: (Peeking from the roof) Heh heh heh... (Sneaks off) Now to help Jaune!

---------------------------------------------------

Everything hurts. My lungs feel like they're gonna pop, like my chest is on fire. I'm getting air now and then, but it's just little air pops of oxygen. I'm really far from town.

But I gotta keep moving. The kid's passed out, in my arms, breathing in from my tank.

I know what you're thinking right now.

"You're the worst Sheriff I ever saw!"

"Who trained you to be an EMS?"

"What qualifications do you have to do all of this?"

To answer those questions in order: I know. Nobody. And none.

I'm just the guy who would blindly dive into a dark, cold, underground tunnel just to save some kid's life. Because it's my job, and there's nobody else who can do it.

I can feel myself fading...

Fading...

Fadi...

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune: HAAAAAAAAAA! Hah... Hah...

Ruby: You okay, Jaune?

Jaune: Ruby? What... How did... Wait, the kid! Did he-?!

Ruby: Relaaaaax, Jaune. Oscar is fine. He's with his aunt right now, and the town's okay. Mostly.

Jaune: Mostly?

Ruby: Well, there were a few of you who kinda poofed, and you kinda left Neptune in charge.

Jaune: Oh... Alright... That's fine, then.

Ruby: Uh, did you miss the part about Neptune being in charge?

Jaune: If that's the worst problem there is, I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

Ruby: Well, it's not technically the worst.

Jaune: Huh, what do you?

???: Sheriff Arc.

Jaune: Huh?

Batman: I have some questions for you.

[positivelypositive]

I'm a highly sensitive person. I have some college but no degree. I have insurance but am scared of doctors. I have free therapy though my job but no specialists to see if I have ADHD or autism. I work customer service and have been doing that for over 20 years. When I serve people all day long I don't have much left for myself. I have pmdd and had a bad episode this month that gave me so much rage and now I'm ashamed and crying and feeling overwhelmed. They are going to change the operating systems that are job so none of us will know what we are doing.

I work customer service at a library and there's a machine with a conveyor belt that runs all day that helps to check in people's books. By the end of the day most of the full-time people are extremely disgruntled just due to the ongoing sound. We aren't allowed to wear headphones because we have to answer the phones and talk to the customers.

My boss put two more jobs for me to do while I'm not on a public desk. We get 2 hours off desk and honestly those are helpful to recharge after working with the public but my boss thinks those two off desk hours should be used to do desk work and busy work.

I'm extremely overwhelmed and afraid to advocate for myself for fear I'll look defiant. Ill be there 12 years in April. I feel like I haven't been able to have a personal life since going full time. 🙁

I took two days off from work last week and didn't work the weekend I was hoping I'd be ready to go back today. So I got dressed and drove to work and thought I hit a bird and then had a complete meltdown and then look like s*** and realized I had to be on front desk to let all the customers in. So they saw my face which made me more upset and so I told my boss I couldn't do it today and I went home. I tried to go to the park but I couldn't get out of the car and I looked a mess because I had been crying a lot.

I texted my boss and apologized and told her I was overwhelmed and told her I was sorry for leaving in a hurry. She told me to just take care of myself.

I don't want to take care of myself, I'm already worn out from taking care of everybody else.

I'm sorry this is the most rambling message ever. I don't know what to do.

hey @luckycatsgirl (couldn't tag you for some reason)

i'm sorry you're going through this but please do not apologize for ranting. i want this to be a safe space for people to ramble. you helped me feel needed so thank you for that.

what you've described sounds to me like a panic attack. now, i could be wrong since i'm not a professional but i have experience with panic attacks and would very much encourage you to look into a psychologist or a trained therapist to help you out.

we all know life is tough but we bear it to the point where any and everything becomes overwhelming. it's normal and you're not alone in feeling this way. but getting help will make sure that you live more comfortably.

i know you don't want to take care of yourself because you're worn out but being worn out itself means that you need to be cared for. a therapist or psychologist can help you understand how to do that.

please look into it, dear friend. i will be cheering for you from the other side of the screen. sending you courage and positive vibes 💜✨

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HIIIIII ARIIIIII>:33333333 i am here to inquire abt sashisuri and getting married!!!!!!!!! how would all of your weddings look like????? would you even have a wedding, maybe just a reception? maybe you just wanna exchange rings and that'd be enough? TELL MEE TELLL MEEEEE PLEAAASEEE<333 and omg.. how does kenny feel about a wedding? how does laios?

and again if you (or them for that matter) aren't one for weddings and all that, is there any other way you guys show your everlasting love to each other?????

HEHEHHEEE ARIIIII I WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR SELFSHIPSSSS PLEASEEEE you're all so cute i need to kiss your foreheads go on get in line everybody<3333 I HOPE UR HAVING A GOOD DAY AND I HOPE THAT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! i know you said that you're gonna be quite busy, so i hope you're still getting your rest!!!!!! mwah mwah mwah i love you sm angel<3333 - @teddybeartoji

MICKEY ……………..

this ask….. has been Spinning in my brain since you sent it </3 we already talked about it a bit but aaaaaa sashisuri has been………… making me a little insane lately . sniffle. thank you for indulging me my love <3333 i have a feeling this will get long but that’s the arimickey standard, here’s a cup of coffee and some treats while you read :3 ☕️🧁

OK SO ……. just . generally speaking!!!! i am Not a marriage person lmao….. i’d prefer not having a wedding at all. or even getting legally married? just being engaged for the rest of my life sounds like a dream honestly…… buuut with that being said i do think some of these guys (one guy in particular😒) would want me to compromise 😭

satoru is like me i think <33 he doesn’t have any real desire to get married, and arigojo is also a mega slowburn so??? yk. it’s not exactly a standard relationship!! i also feel like he’s turned off from marriage because of how awful most clan marriages are in jjk…… he doesn’t want me legally becoming a gojo. :((((( but like we talked abt…. i think he still ends up asking me if i’d like to be with him forever 🥹 and he buys rings!! because he likes it when we match…. super expensive and custom made. maybe a sun/moon motif? the issue is that we both see each other as the sun so???? it’s . a week-long debate. buuuut yeah he just buys us the rings and everyone else is like …. did you . get married to gojo 🤨🤨 ………….. and it’s not Exactly true but we’re married in spirit yk??

anyway just to tie this back to the first point…….. even though we aren’t legally married he takes my last name :33 and gets upset when people refer to him as gojo . he’s lenient with the students but poor ijichi gets the MEANEST side eye (nobody told him 💔💔💔)

ANYWAYYY TGAT WAS. a lot of gojo. next is suguru and like we discussed <3333 i think this guy is very much the marriage type. he daydreams about it. he loves the idea of being my husband and loves the idea of me being his spouse……. silly little sappy loser. thankfully he’d prefer a small, private wedding, which is the only kind i’d be comfy with 😭 we end up reaching a compromise and only inviting the most important people (satoshoko :333) it’s cozy and intimate and we both cry LMAOOO i hate him actually take him away from me mickey….. he cries while proposing too…….

i doooooooo . also. want to mention cult leader geto…… the alternative arisugu flavour. this guy 😔😔😔😔 SIGH…… he wants a traditional japanese wedding. wants to see me in a kimono…… i don’t have a choice (i Do but he’ll pout ://) he doesn’t want any non-sorcerers around to ✨sully the atmosphere✨ so it’s just us, his family and my closest friends :33 he cries a LOTTTTT. he tries so hard to keep it together but he cries when he sees me and cries while saying his vows…… cries when he’s laying next to me in bed once the festivities are over………… makes me pinkie promise not to regret my decision because he’s silly and stupid. i do it anyway because i love him :(((( stupid fox…

ok enough abt the loser men let’s talk abt the loser Women <3333 shoko is just like me fr i don’t think she’s interested in marriage at all but for some reason i do feel like we’d end up legally married??? like…… we just kinda sign the papers one day and that’s that. i propose to her with a ring pop and she’s like okay let’s do it???? and who am i to deny my wife…….. she does eventually get us proper rings and only then do the people around us realize we’re married LMAOO (gojo owes suguru 20$) she also wants to see me in a wedding dress i think… just once………..

OHHH AND AND AND if we’re talking abt sashisuri as a polyship then i think we do get married :33 um. we might have to legally get married in pairs though…. not sure if polyamorous marriage is a thing in either of our countries……… no idea who marries who but it doesn’t really matter because we’re All married, y’know?? it’s either a full-on wedding with lots of our shared friends or just the four of us lol, no inbetween <333 it feels more like a cozy party than anything!!!!!

KENJAKU ……. well 💀 . hmmmm. arikenny is a very unorthodox relationship mickey i’d call it a lifetime companionship more than anything??? if that makes sense???? 😭 kenny never actually says we’re dating so i think it’s safe to say marriage is never brought up . BUT they do verbalize the sentiment at some point!! either in a really casual way (”we have a whole lifetime to figure it out,” or something else that implies they want me around forever) or something more akin to a proposal…… ”wouldn’t it be nice to do this forever? what do you say?” or maybe just ”you’ll be by my side until the moment you die.” which . sounds pretty awful right?? they mean it in a romantic way though. idk mickey they’re severely ill idk what to do with them

this is already long so i’ll keep laios short hehe :3 but i don’t really think he’s much of a marriage guy either!!! though i can see him proposing…. kinda casually…… he doesn’t even realize it’s a proposal (meanwhile i’m 0.3 seconds away from exploding)…… if we had a wedding it’d for sure be monster themed <3333 i just want him to be happy!!!!! he buys me . a kitten. as a wedding gift…. and we have a tiny little cozy get-together with the other guys in our party :333

OKAY THAT’S ALL LMAO selfships will have u spilling your hypothetical life story like it’s nothing……. I LOVE YOU MICKEY MY DEAREST!!!!! thank you for being so sweet hehe, i’d love to hear abt your own selfship marriage thoughts too!! 🥺 though i already know abt some of them….. what abtttt misu and mikuna? :333 obsessed with you three btw…… kissing your noses one by one pls protect me from sukuna’s cleave ok???

[james-sunshine-potter]

Summer Child by Conan Gray is a James Potter song.

And I want to talk about it.

Firstly, the name.

Even though James is a spring baby, he’s always been linked to the summer. Come on. That boy is a walking beam of sunshine.

Secondly, the lyrics.

If you analyse the lyrics, which is my favourite thing to do, it will hit you how much this is a James Potter song.

‘You see all the flowers in the weeds’ James, who tries to see the best in everyone, even if it means ignoring red flags. James, who believes in the good always, because he has too.

‘But there's darkness behind those eyes, Even when you smile’ James, who packs up all his negative emotions and locks them up tight, because his friends need (imagine air quotations) him to be the happy and cheery one. So James, he keeps it to himself. James, who vows to never speak of this. Only a few notice the darkness in his eyes.

‘You don't have to act like all you feel is mild’ James, who is always fine. Never in pain. Never sad. Never tired. Never mad. Never upset. Just fine, all the time.

‘Aren't you way too busy, taking care of everybody, to take care of yourself?’ James, who never is the priority. Never focuses on himself. Distracts himself from his on problem by helping other people. Even when he desperately needs it. James was the kind of kid when he rather sit and struggle in a lesson than stick his hand up to ask for help.

‘You don't really love the sun, it drives you wild, You're lyin', summer child’ James, who’ll say one thing but mean another. Would rather go indoors but Sirius want to stay outside so he’ll stay outside. Would like Remus and Peter to quieten down but they’re having fun, who is James to stop them? James, who puts everyone above himself.

Lastly, POV

It’s obviously from Regulus’ pov. He’s the one who can tell James is lying. Who sees the darkness in his eyes, because there’s darkness in his eyes too. Who can tell when James is doing something for someone else, not him.

He makes James his priority. James is at the top of his list, because James deserves to be treated the same way he treats everyone else.

[neshatriumphs]

Listen. Because I tried to speak on this a little bit earlier, but OP did not appreciate me getting into their business that way, so I won't be going out of my way to make them uncomfortable in their own space, but I feel like this subject needs to be expanded on...

And I cut off their name, because, like I said, no need to bother them, but to expand on the subject, ESPECIALLY for young Black followers I have and specifically for those of you who think along these lines. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make sure that you voice your opinions about these people, whether or not it makes a difference.

My point was, and my belief, from experience is: that is directly for you, as the person speaking out. You will be doing this to clarify that you are a person who believe in human rights.

What most likely will NOT happen as a result is changing that person. As a Black woman of a certain age, in Texas, being queer, mentally ill, outspoken Gemini, and mentor and/or caregiver to hundreds of kids and young adults, I can tell you that the people who are the subject of this - Trump supporters, conservatives, racists, etc... we have never let them think that they were okay or right.

People have been telling these people what they think of them for years and they do not care. They know their privilege and they know their power and they want somebody else to always be beneath them in every possible dynamic and they do not care who suffers. Speaking to them you will be speaking for your peace of mind in expressing yourself and not, as it sounded to me was being expressed, to remind them that they're on the wrong side of history. They don't give a fuck.

And the people who may POSSIBLY have some sort of audience with them like family friends, family, partners, neighbors, etc... And this is very important and was my observation from years of young people in my life coming to me when they've been caught off guard by this... those people many times are simply just not going to do it. They might be really uncomfortable about it, but at the end of the day, you have to know that there are people who you hold dear who you think care enough about you to speak up when the time comes and you need to be prepared for the strong possibility that those people will not push that.

Many of those people love their families and make excuses for them. Many of them think their loved ones are a different type or that they aren't hateful just uninformed or victims or some other thing. But we all have seen and heard enough to know better. Many of those people are liars, lying to themselves and to you about people that they continue to love through those demons. And without fail, any time something like Trump happens, so many young Black people realize that they have friends, partners, family, sometimes, who will hold their tongues in the face of evils done to you.

I think it's super important, as someone who always tells anybody what I think of their bullshit, it is important to know and be prepared for other people, even people you love to show you they've silently chosen your oppressor. And it will happen, not to everybody, but to enough people, that I feel completely justified in telling you that a lot of people are going to see the suggestion and they will not follow through. And that will hurt some of you who have people like that who you're in community with.

It would hurt more if you were caught off guard by it. Stay strong, Black ones. Be kind to yourselves, even if you're discovering the real person inside of those you thought you could trust. They're who they are and it is easier to sit there and take it for those who believe that they stand to lose less by doing so.

[anamericangirl]

He’s accusing George Miller of approving reservations for people who weren’t Indians. He’s not really speaking derogatorily about Native Americans with that quote. And if George Miller was indeed approving reservations for people that were not Native Americans then he absolutely should have been called out for it.

No he’s not. Trump was taking issue with the treaty protected tax exemption status that many Native Americans have in their business ventures.

Towards the end of the testimony he states, “I want to find out. ... Well, then why don't you -- you're approving for Indian. Why don't you approve it for everybody then, sir?”

Followed by.

“You're saying only Indians can have the reservations, only Indians can have the gaming. So why aren't you approving it for everybody? Why are you being discriminatory? Why is it that the Indians don't pay tax, but everybody else does? I do.”

His goal was to either get them to pay taxes like he had to, or get the government to give him a similar exemption on his own casinos.

Trump’s “they don’t look Indian to me” comments was not him defending real Native Americans. He was basing it off stereotypes of how “Indians” were meant to look like in his head. You should look into it, he was obsessed with Native American casinos in Connecticut. The entire whole testimony is him questioning why Native Americans have those exemptions in the first place.

Literally everything you wrote is wrong. From the issue at hand to your analysis of the comment. It's painfully obvious you don't know the context of the quote and you haven't seen or read the entire testimony, which you claim is just him questioning the exemptions. Even the quotes you pulled to try and debunk what I said don't have the "they don't look like Indians to me" section in them.

This quote was not about stereotypes or about how he personally thought Native Americans were supposed to look and it wasn't about tax exemption status. Please, please, please, stop using mainstream media to research things.

This quote came from a 1993 hearing about the Indian Gaming Regulatory act. As someone who was very active in the gaming business in New Jersey at this time, Trump was called in to discuss the fact that an abundance of organized crime was taking place at the unchecked and unsupervised Indian casinos and blaming congress for not looking into it or doing anything about it. He was there urging Congress to look into it and do something because it was hurting and victimizing the Native Americans who couldn't just tell a crime boss to please get out of their casino.

The whole testimony was about how the Gaming Act had made it almost impossible for Native Americans to keep organized crime out of their casinos. If you don't believe me you can read the transcript of the hearing yourself. Donald Trump's testimony starts on page 178. The quote in question of "they don't look like Indians to me" is on page 242 where he is talking directly to George Miller accusing him of approving reservations for people who were not Native Americans. And this is something Trump pretty much knew to be a fact because he personally dealt with the people who got approved for these unchecked reservations who got approved by simply saying they were Native Americans and not having to prove it in any way. He was absolutely defending Native Americans and admonishing congress for allowing organized crime to take over their casinos and letting people who were not Native Americans take advantage of the Gaming Act.

If reading it in context is too hard for you can also take 45 minutes and watch this video of someone who explains the entire situation in detail and basically will read the transcript to you.

I don't know where you got your info but it's all wrong. Be careful when you tell people to look into things when you're making claims, because once they look into it (which, incidentally, I had already done, which is how I knew you were wrong) it becomes obvious whether or not you really looked into it yourself.

[bbyheedeungie]

Fluttering Machinery | Robot! Sunghoon AU

Genre: Fluff, mild angst

Pairings: Robot! Sunghoon x Reader

Warnings: Character death, little suggestive content

Synopsis: Sunghoon was a humanoid built by your father, with the sole purpose of taking care of you once he passes away. But it seems like taking care of you came with discovering emotions that wasn't necessary for cooking, cleaning, and keeping you safe. What is this warm fuzzy feeling that resonates deep inside Sunghoon's mechanism?

It's been months. 6 dreadful months since your father has passed away. The doctors have warned you that he didn't have much time left, but that didn't make the goodbyes hurt any less.

You were 4 years old when your mom left you and your father for another guy. A more successful guy. Your father was bright, with an insatiable hunger for discovery and invention. But his field of work didn't always bring food to the table. And so on most days you had to, well, compromise.

But you loved your father so much, and still do. Although you didn't grow up to be a scientist like him, you knew the basics on automation and robotics. You were 11 years old when you first saw it, the humanoid that he worked on for years came to life before your own very eyes.

He had no skin nor face that made him look human yet. Just a chunk of metal with a head, arms and legs that moved mechanically. Nevertheless, you will never forget the joy and pride in your fathers' face as he watched his creation. The humanoid was a work in progress and you knew one day he's going to change the world. Unbeknownst to you, he was going to change your world.

And now here you are, years into the present as you stood infront of the humanoid who had his eyes shut. Yep, he's a he now. He is Humanoid SH-1282. Your father made him for the purpose of serving the community, to help people. But when he discovered his illness, he started making alterations to his design. He made SH-1282 to serve as the perfect companion, but only to you.

He filled the humanoid's hard drive with everything that he'll need to help you and take care of you. He input cooking, cleaning, and even martial arts. You sighed, remembering your father's last words.

"I'm gonna leave him in your care now, err leave you in his care or whatever. Take good care of each other okay? I love you both so much."

You were such a crybaby, holding on to your father's arm as the nurses were ushering you to wait outside because the doctors are about to perform surgery.

"You'll be okay." Your father mouthed as he smiled knowingly in content.

You reach for the humanoid's neck to find the power button, finally deciding to activate him after holding it off for months.

You held your breath as his eyes open, immediately scanning his surroundings. His eyes land on you, a smile forms on his lips.

"Hi, I'm SH-1282. It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." He said naturally, offering his hand. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was a normal boy.

You let out a shaky breath as you accept his hand. He frowns, it seems like he is studying your facial expression and posture.

"You seem like you are in distress. Are you alright?" He asks in concern.

"Yeah, I am." You reply weakly.

"Will a hug improve your mood?" He asks. He was programmed to know about the benefits of physical intimacy, but he was also programmed to know consent and so he will not do anything unless you want to.

You contemplated, biting your lip.

"No, thank you." He simply nods, stepping out of his charging port.

"Will you show me around the house?" He asks and you nod.

"Damn this feels so awkward." You think to yourself.

"So here's the living room." You say as SH-1282 takes a good look around the area, his eyes falling to the dirty coffee table with tons of papers stacked messily. The couch looked greasy, with breadcrumbs stuck to the sides of the couch cushions. He scrunches his nose, involuntarily adding a new emotion to his database: disgust.

And as you led him to the kitchen, this emotion intensifies as he sees the containers of Chinese takeouts and cup ramen littered around the counter. He walks to the fridge and finds it empty except for a carton of milk that you put into your cereal for breakfast.

This awakens another emotion for the humanoid, frustration. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he contemplates on what to do with the mess, aka you.

"This won't do. You have been living unhealthily which may reduce your chances of living a long life."

You scoff, "Excuse me?" He gives you a dead stare, an eyebrow raised.

"No, excuse me while I clean up all this. I'll leave you to your own devices, thank you for showing me around today." He says sassily as he goes to find where you hide your cleaning utensils. You stood there dumbfounded.

"Unbelievable." But you let him be anyway. He wasn't wrong, you've been a total mess this past few months but that was all because of the grief. You basically had no family now.

And so for the rest of the day, you lock yourself in your room and do homework. About 5pm, you hear a soft knock at your door.

"Hello, it's me. Can you spare me a minute? I have something to ask of you." You inwardly groan, not really wanting to face the humanoid.

"Can you accompany me to get groceries? I swear this will only happen one time. It is only because I am not yet accustomed to my location. But after I mentally note the directions, you won't have to come with me next time." He didn't really want to bother you, but he knew that going out by himself and getting lost will be much more bothersome for you.

"Sure thing, just let me change into— oh no, you have no other clothes. It's kinda chilly outside today." You mentally facepalm yourself. Why didn't I go shopping for men clothes first before activating him?

"That is fine, I am immune to any temperature." He says as-a-matter-of-fact. You roll your eyes.

"I know that but people will probably get suspicious to see a man walking around in a shirt and jeans when everybody else has coats on. We need you to fit in as much as possible."

You search for your father's old coat that you refused to throw away even months after he's passed.

"Sorry dad, but he kinda needs this right now." And so you dress the humanoid in your oversized university sweatshirt (which surprisingly fits him perfectly) and your father's old coat.

"How do I look? Will I fit in now?" He asks as he scans his appearance in the mirror.

"You look—" absolutely breathtaking. You had every urge to slap yourself. Your father really didn't play around when he made the humanoid's face. He could pass up as an idol. And the cute little mole on his nose was a good addition to his features that made him even more realistic.

"Great. People won't suspect a thing."

The two of you head out. Contrary to your expectations that he would marvel at everything he sees outside, he just casually looks around. You ride the bus together, and the humanoid processes everything that you do, noting how everything works.

What caught you by surprise though, is how he immediately stands up in instinct to let an old lady sit down in his place. He sure was programmed with manners and chivalry. You smiled at the thought.

You made your way inside the grocery store, only intended to grab a basket but the humanoid insisted on a push cart.

"We have so much to buy, I've taken a mental note of everything we'll need." You simply roll your eyes and let him push the cart around as you wandered behind him. You look around as he reads the nutritional facts of every single thing he sees.

"This is definitely going to take a while." You muttered.

"Y/N? Is that you?" A voice squealed. You hissed and attempted to turn away, pretending you didn't see her. The humanoid saw how you reacted and swiftly rushed to your side in a protective stance. The stranger eyes the humanoid, her eyes sparkling at the sight of such a gorgeous man.

"Why hello there. Y/N you didn't tell me you've been busy with your boyfriend, we haven't hung out in a while." Both of your eyes widened at the misunderstanding.

"Oh, no he's not— we aren't—" You tried to explain but she just laughed out loud.

"Look how flustered you are. You know what, it's okay. But we have a lot of catching up to do!" She said, squishing your cheeks in a playful manner.

"So what's your name, handsome stranger?" She asks, turning to the confused humanoid.

"I'm S—"

"Sunghoon! His name is Sunghoon." You blurted out. Sunghoon was the name of your childhood crush when you were like 7 but that'll have to do. Unfortunately, it seems that the humanoid got even more confused.

"I am Y/N's—"

"Neighbor. He lives next door to my apartment. I was just showing him around because he just recently moved into the city." You say quickly. She can't know that you're living with a guy. Even if said guy wasn't human.

"Awww how sweet of you to go shopping with your neighbor." She said, winking at you. She's definitely not convinced.

"I'm Yeonmi, Y/N's friend." She introduced, offering her hand to Sunghoon. He took her hand reluctantly.

"You mean my super obnoxious friend." You roll your eyes.

"Shut up, you love me." She teased. Admittedly, you've been avoiding her for months now. Ever since your father passed, it was as if you didn't want to deal with anyone anymore, with the fear of being left behind again. So you shut everyone out. You know it was a very selfish move and must've made everyone worry, but you have yet to figure out how to fix things back to how it is.

You said your goodbyes not without a long, tight hug from Yeonmi and Sunghoon noticed from his scanners how your vitals greatly improved from it. This made him feel another new emotion: relief. He was very thankful for your friend who made you feel better.

You continue venturing down the aisle of food, and you find the humanoid smiling to himself. He notices your attention on him and he shakes his head, as if shrugging his thoughts off.

"What?" You asked.

"You gave me a name. Although I'm unsure if it is necessary, thank you." He says genuinely as he smiles at you, your heart skipping a beat.

"You're welcome, Sunghoon." You smiled back.

He picked up lots of fruits and vegetables, with you whining the whole time. Your whines unlocked another emotion of his; annoyance.

"No wonder her father thought she is in need of taking care of, she acts like a child." He concludes, running his fingers through his hair as he lets you get an ice cream of your choice. Oddly, seeing a bright smile on your face as you show him what flavor you got seems to put him at ease.

The two of you got home at dawn, with quickly stacking up the groceries into the cabinets and fridge, with you slumping down on the now squeaky clean couch.

It had been quite a long day and you found yourself dozing off. You woke up from the light tap on your shoulder, eyes fixating on Sunghoon with your apron wrapped around his torso.

"I could get used to this." You thought, admiring how adorable the humanoid looked but quickly pushing the thoughts away.

"Sorry to wake you, it's time for dinner." He announces and you lazily nodded, not before yawning and stretching your arms.

"Uhh, what is this?" You asked, eyeing your plate.

"It's your dinner." He says nonchalantly, expecting you to start eating. Your face shows utter disgust at the plate of vegetables.

"Please don't make me eat that." You begged. Sunghoon rolls his eyes; a trait he adapted from spending just a day with you.

"Don't be dramatic, vegetables are good for you." He states, taking the plate from you and attempting to feed you.

"Come on, say ah." He says playfully. After realizing how much you acted like a child, he researched on how to take care of children and downloaded it into his database. You scrunch your nose, leaning away from the food and shooting him a glare.

"Sunghoon, I'm not a kid." You deadpanned.

"Oh, but you won't get your ice cream if you don't eat this." He says, pouting at you teasingly. He's really good at this. With a sigh, you open wide and allow him to feed you.

"Yep, definitely a kid." He thinks to himself as he smiles in satisfaction, another emotion unlocked.

That night, you decided to move his charging port (with his help) from the lab into the spare room of the apartment.

"You know, I'm completely okay with staying at the lab." He reasoned but you quickly hush him.

"Nope. That is no way to treat a person. You deserve your own room, okay? A room that you can fill with your own stuff and decorate with your own preferences. End of discussion." You sassed as you fix his charging port into place. Sunghoon blinked at you, unable to express how grateful he is of how kind you are to him.

"She wants to treat me like a real human being." He thinks, his mechanical heart overwhelmed with gratitude.

Days went on with a routine, with him cleaning all day and you attending online classes. There were occasional bumps in the road, with you getting annoyed with how much of a neat freak he is and him getting irritated with how lazy you are at taking care of yourself. You've also taught him how to watch tv, deciding not to let him use the internet yet because he might gain too much unnecessary information online.

And so on a saturday night, you sat together on the couch as you watched figure skating competitions. Sunghoon was at complete awe the whole time, studying how the skaters moved through the ice.

"I want to skate too." He states absentmindedly, attention still on the television. You smiled, thinking how it was the first time he actually said he wanted something.

"Then let's do it, let's go skating tomorrow." You say, his head immediately shot to you.

"What, really?" Sunghoon asks in disbelief, his eyes widening.

"Yes, really. Although I'm warning you, I don't know how to skate." You laughed, with him chuckling as well.

"Then we'll learn together." He promises.

What a total lie that is. He didn't need to learn, as you watched him move swiftly against the ice, the wind in his hair as he circled around, his focused eyes twinkling in the fairy lights. He looked ethereal. You could have sworn there were tears there as you cheered him on like a proud momma. Ah, they grew up so fast.

People at the park also stopped to watch Sunghoon, whispering about how talented the young man is. His eyes caught yours, and you weren't sure if you were seeing things but you thought you saw him send you a wink and smile.

"The TV been teaching him things." You muttered, blushing but not from the cold. Sunghoon skates towards you, pulling you with him. You're eyes widened in fear.

"N-no Sunghoon I can't—" but he was already leading you through the ice, eyes never leaving yours.

"You can." He whispers, taking you by the waist as he spun you around. You giddily laughed as you threw your arms out, savouring the chilly air. You didn't even notice the people watching and cooing at you as some joined in as well.

That night, Sunghoon felt something he never felt before, and you in a long time. You felt happy.

"Say aaaah~" Sunghoon said as he fed you chicken soup. You caught a cold from skating yesterday and now you're wrapped in a super cozy blanket with Sunghoon worrying about you.

"You know I can feed myself right?" You said, swallowing the food.

"I know, but I just feel responsible because I was the one who wanted to skate. You got sick because of me, and that kinda defeats my purpose because I'm supposed to be keeping you healthy." He rambled. You roll your eyes at him.

"Colds are normal, okay? Besides, I haven't had that much fun in a while. Thank you for that, Sunghoon." You say, reaching up to tussle his hair playfully. He froze, cogs in his mind unable to process as something inside him stirred, but in a pleasant way.

--

"So you dance while rubbing your body on a stranger?" Sunghoon questions, but he's not sure if he wants to know the answer. Tonight, you wore a simple black dress that teasingly showed a little bit of cleavage and a decent length of fabric that hugged tightly around your upper thighs but had a daringly high slit. Sunghoon approves and disapproves at the same time.

"Yeah, it's kinda like that. But don't worry, I won't be doing that. I'll just stay by the bar the whole time." You reassured as you struggled to put on your strappy heels. Sunghoon kneels down infront of you and helps you clasp the straps around your ankles, handling it very delicately. Your heart thumps as he looks up at you.

"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?" He asks for the fifth time as he follows you around the house like a puppy. You sigh, actually considering it. Although it was supposed to be a girl's night according to Yeonmi, you thought maybe having Sunghoon tag along wouldn't do harm.

But it did. It did harm to you, alright. And you wanted to harm those girls who kept on grinding their asses onto Sunghoon as slow, sexy music played. You were fuming, regretting dressing Sunghoon in such fashion that screamed big D energy. Why am I being so possessive? But then again, Sunghoon does look uncomfortable. I should go save him. Yeah, I'll do that.

"Hold my drink." You tell Yeonmi as you made your way to Sunghoon.

"You go girl! Get your man!" Yeonmi cheered drunkly.

Your train of thoughts were blurred by the alcohol as you struggled to walk straight. You had only one clear thought in mind: Sunghoon. I need to get to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon stood uncomfortably, eyeing the girls who rubbed their bossoms and derriere all over him. Is this supposed to be fun? He thinks innocently. He sees you walking towards him, swaying your hips side by side as you strode towards him like a predator.

Girls hovering around him going unnoticed as you were the only one he could see.

Stunning, beautiful. He thought.

"Hey handsome, care to dance?" You asked, pulling him to you before he could even answer. The girls spat at you, telling you to 'get in line' but you just shot them a smug look.

"Sorry ladies." Sunghoon apologized, but his smile told otherwise as he let you pull him away from them.

"You don't know how badly I wanted to get away from—" He froze in his spot as you wrap your arms around his neck, inching closer than ever before. You felt bold, but maybe that was just the alcohol in your system. And as you started moving your body against Sunghoon, you knew it wasn't just you who felt the heat. His large palms go down south, resting on your swaying hips as both of you moved to the sultry rhythm.

His mechanism was going nuts, threatening to malfunction as his sensors detected your very close proximity to him. Whatever you were playing, it was dangerous. But Sunghoon couldn't help but to want more, to desire more.

"Y/N." He whispers, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. And damn did he find you so sexy right there, under the strobe lights. No girl in the club could ever compare.

"Home?" You suggested.

"Home." He agrees.

As you got in the cab, you immediately find yourself half straddling Sunghoon's lap as you attempt to kiss him. Luckily, Sunghoon can think clearer now and concludes that a drunk Y/N is a very horny Y/N. And though the thought that it was only the alcohol that made you want him made him feel sad, he knew it was wrong to demand such things from you.

And so with your futile attempts to get into his pants, he gently lays your head on his shoulder and hugs you to keep you still. But even that couldn't stop you from squirming to get away from his hold, trying to get some action. He chuckles as he held your hand tightly in his to prevent it from landing into his crotch.

"Now now, you have to stay put. I won't be taking advantage of your state." He scolds gently. And by the time the cab had stopped in front of the building of your apartment, you were fast asleep in Sunghoon's arms.

Times like these were when Sunghoon is glad he was made of aluminum. He scooped you up in his arms like a pillow as he walked up to your apartment. You snuggled up into his chest, looking so innocent as you soaked up his warmth. Sunghoon cooed about how adorable you are, talking to you in your sleep.

He placed you delicately on your bed, contemplating whether to change your clothes or not. He decided not to, noting how your privacy is important to you. You're too drunk and asleep to give him permission right now anyway. He took off your heels and wiped your makeup off very gently, and tucked you in properly.

Long minutes pass as he studies your face, stroking your hair softly as the corners of his mouth lift up unconsciously. He really loves taking care of you. He loves you.

This realization hits him like a truck of overwhelming emotions, but it all makes sense to him now.

"I love you, Y/N." He whispers, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before retiring to his own room.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Forest National in Brussels, Belgium - August 24, 1984

Some parts of the Hammer To Fall promo video were filmed during this show - the camera was filming the audience reactions during TYMD, Radio Ga Ga and Hammer To Fall. On the next day 20 fans from the Dutch fan club were invited to come again to the filming of the promo video.

At the gig, the band asked the audience to return the following day for the shoot. However, most likely assuming it was all a joke, the vast majority stayed away; in fact only a dozen fans turned up. Undeterred, the shoot went ahead anyway, with the band's performance that day interspersed with footage shot the previous night.

(x)

This is the first show of The Works tour.

According to the July '89 issue of Record Collector, Queen ran through about 40 songs during rehearsals. This list of songs rehearsed that didn't end up in the setlist comes from someone who worked on the tour:

Great King Rat (longer version), Brighton Rock (full song), I'm In Love With My Car, Sweet Lady, White Man, We Will Rock You (fast), Play The Game, Need Your Loving Tonight, Put Out The Fire, Las Palabras de Amor, Life Is Real (both Freddie solo piano and Freddie/Brian acoustic duet versions)

The keyboardist for this tour (and also the '86 Magic tour) is session musician Spike Edney. He would also lend some vocals to many songs and play rhythm guitar in Hammer To Fall. He and Roger Taylor would form a band called "The Cross" in 1987 which spawned three albums, and he would return to Queen in the 21st century to play on the tours with Paul Rodgers and Adam Lambert.

Spike was recruited in a very informal way by a Queen associate. He went to Munich for their first rehearsal in early August, wound up partying for most of the first night, and missed the first day's rehearsal. It later transpired that everyone else had. He recalls, "The next day, we all managed to get to it eventually, to the first rehearsal, and all the gear was set up. The stage was huge, and I thought "Oh well, here we go then" and we got to the first song , and what I'd forgotten was that they hadn't actually played together for two years. So they said, OK, let's try one of the new songs, I think it was Radio Ga Ga, and we started playing it, and course, I knew it, I'd been studying it for weeks. You know, 1,2,3,4 and we start and we get about a minute into the song and the whole thing collapses. And they all look at each other, you know, very sheepishly, and they say, "Anyone know how it goes?" and I say "well, actually, I know. I know how it goes" and they said "Ah". And so I started showing them the chords and everything and Fred looked at me and said "You don't know the words, do you?" and "Well, yeah I do actually" so then they all came round the piano and we spent the whole day just going through songs, and I thought, "I'm gonna be all right here, this'll be OK"!"

The show started very late, as the band were still doing soundcheck when they were supposed to go on. Apparently over the previous week there were few occasions when all four band members actually showed up for rehearsal. Many songs (likely those listed above) never made the setlist, and soundcheck was an extensive cramming session, particularly for the older material that they hadn't played in years.

Roger Taylor later reflected that this European tour was one of his favourites, and many fans cite the early Works setlist as their favourite ever played by the band. Three medleys are now played, two of which have revived many old songs: Killer Queen, Seven Seas Of Rhye, Keep Yourself Alive, Liar, Stone Cold Crazy and Great King Rat. Staying Power from Hot Space returns to the set, as does Sheer Heart Attack from News Of The World. Only half of Staying Power is played, and it runs into Dragon Attack, followed by an improvisation running into a more compact version of Now I'm Here compared to previous tours.

Many people who attended shows on this tour recall Queen having a very heavy sound, especially on songs like Liar and Stone Cold Crazy. By 1984 they had gained a reputation as being one of the best live rock acts in the business.

Six songs from The Works are performed each night, and the introduction tape is from the album track "Machines". After the heavy G chords are heard on the tape twice, the band walk on stage in the darkness to play the chords the third time, which leads into the brand new "Tear It Up". This is yet another effective opening to a Queen show, something they would perfect time and time again.

I Want To Break Free is performed each night in 1984-85 as the first encore, with Freddie coming on stage sporting a pair of huge plastic breasts under a pink shirt. Part way through the song, he would remove the breasts and twirl them around for a while before finally throwing them into the audience. Some souvenir! As a result of this gag, Another One Bites The Dust has been moved from the encore to be earlier in the set.

This tour showcases an incredible lighting rig and an overall setup mimics the movie Metropolis, from which scenes were used for the promo video of Radio Ga Ga last year. The huge wheels behind the stage (modelled after the ones on The Works album cover) rotate at mostly random times - usually because they are turned manually by various crew members such as Roger's tech Chris "Crystal" Taylor whenever they have a free moment (Freddie Mercury's assistant Peter Freestone told the tale in 2021):

“Yeah, I mean Rio was… amazing. The feeling from that crowd… you know, something like 350,000 people. Oh, you can’t beat that. And when you’re flying in a helicopter over that crowd, it was stunning. But the thing is, I know this sounds really, really stupid but [laughs]… one thing I will always, always remember from that tour was, remember, in the back of the stage you had these wheels that turned every now and then, not constantly but just every now and then. That was because there was… the guy looking after Roger’s drums and me who actually turned those wheels. And there was no set cue or anything that, “Oh, it has to start on this bar, on this song.” No, it was when he wasn’t doing anything and I wasn’t doing anything, we’d say “Ok, let’s go and do it.” And we turned the wheels for a couple of minutes and then left them alone. He had then to do something for Roger and I would just sit there like I always did. And then you’d go back and you’d turn the wheels, like a hamster. We were like hamsters…”

However, a crew member who worked on the tour recalls otherwise: "I do know local crew members were used on the UK shows and certainly (a number of) European gigs. The other thing is that Radio Ga Ga had a set piece with the cogs and lighting, using low ambient lighting and strobes to emphasise mechanical motion of the cogs during the instrumental break. Would Roger Taylor be happy with no one covering him/his kit during a show? Possibly Peter Freestone is remembering production rehearsals when any spare bodies might have been asked to operate the cogs?"

During vocal improvisations on this tour, Freddie would often include bits of "Foolin' Around" and "Living On My Own" from his pending first solo album, which he had been working on during this period.

Freddie now plays a Telecaster for Crazy Little Thing Called Love. It would remain like this through the Magic tour.

The band no longer bring a gong with them on the road. Roger now does a cymbal roll at the end of Bohemian Rhapsody.

A fan recalls hearing the band running through Tear It Up whilst queuing up to enter the venue.

Freddie's voice is in superb shape for this show, but it will quickly weaken as the tour progresses. As incredible as Freddie Mercury was, he certainly did not take care of his voice at times, especially in the mid-80s. After a couple years of heavy smoking, Freddie's voice now sounds a lot deeper and raspier overall.

Before It's A Hard Life, Freddie says, "I think tonight we're gonna do songs from just about every album that we've ever made. You heard some very early stuff from the first album. Right now I think we're gonna do something very new, and we'll see what you think of it."

Freddie does a vocal exchange with the audience before Staying Power, singing "Get Down Make Love" and "Gimme Some Lovin" a few times. The band would improvise bits of the latter a couple times in 1986.

This is the only show on the entire Works tour where Roger plays regular acoustic drums on Another One Bites The Dust (before which Freddie teases the audience with a bit of Mustapha). For the rest of the tour, he'd play electronic drums. He'd also integrate the electronic drum kit into a few other songs, like at the beginning of Hammer To Fall, where one might argue that his sounds don't appropriately complement the guitar to create the intense, heavy sound.

The band sound very tight on this opening night of the tour, with the only exception being the rough transition from Stone Cold Crazy to Great King Rat. The keyboard and guitar solos are integrated together for the first few shows of the tour, during which Brian plays a few bits from Machines. Spike Edney uses his vocoder (a Roland VP-330) for the "machines" and "back to humans" lines heard throughout the tour during this spot (he would use his vocoder for the "radio" lines in Radio Ga Ga as well). After this segment, Brian then gets a few minutes to play on his own as usual.

Parts of the promo video for Hammer To Fall were filmed during this show. Claims from some (even official) sources state that Freddie invited the audience back for (what would actually be "additional") filming the following day aren't true. Here is all that Freddie had to say before the song: "This next song we're gonna use in our next video. So everybody just go mad and maybe later you'll see one of you guys inside the video one day. Oh, just go crazy, take your clothes off. It's called Hammer To Fall." After the song, he simply says, "Good night, you guys!" as that was the last song of the set.

Here is a fan's recollection: "On the night of the gig, there was a camera mounted on an arm that would swing over the front rows of the audience during a few songs. These audience shots were taken during Tie Your Mother Down, Radio Ga Ga, and Hammer To Fall itself. I guess they also had a camera up in the box at the back of the hall [as there are a few shots of both the audience and the band]. I don't remember any cameras onstage during the gig - just the one mounted on the arm."

The Dutch fan club invited only about twenty of its members to attend the video shoot the next day. They were instructed by a roadie to sit quietly on a chair and not to move or approach the band members. After a few hours, Brian came over and had a chat with them, checking to see if they were enjoying themselves and if they were hungry. He then promptly ordered them some take-out!

A minute of Tie Your Mother Down from this show was later broadcast on the Belgian TV station "RTBF" (x) (x). An audience-shot video allegedly exists as well, containing five songs.

After years of speculation, the existence of more footage from this show was proven when bits of it were included in the promo video for Let Me In Your Heart Again in 2014. About 30 seconds of Somebody To Love (largely crowd shots) were seen. There is, however, no accompanying audio. (x)

The first photo is from the autumn 1984 Queen fan club magazine. Brian is seen with a watchful eye over the proceedings. Tour manager Gerry Stickells and his wife are also in the shot.

Pics 2 through 6 were submitted by Alessio Rizzitelli, and the seventh pic was taken by Dave Matkin.

(x)

[ha-hatdog]

all in a day's work / daisuke kambe

somebod requested a badass reader? sorry for this very late update. online classes is kicking my butt. you wanted either a scenario or a headcanon so i decided to make both. long scenario/headcanom mashup ahead.

requsted by anon: Hii!! I just want to say first of all, that I just discovered your blog and I just fell in love with it, keep going you’re amazing❤️❤️ soo can I ask for a Headcanon or scenario (it’s up to you) where Haru has a female friend who works in modern crimes prevention and is really badass (like she knows how to fight and all that stuff), so one day she helps Daisuke and Haru in a investigation in which a fight starts and Daisuke gets impressed by her abilities and develops a crush on her (????)

UNEDITED

__

It was another mundane morning for the the Modern Crimes department. The room was oddly colder, and the civil servants occupying the compact and simple space secluded themselves with their own businesses. Mahoro Saeki sat on the couch partaking in an unhealthy snack she had shipped from a foreign country, Kamei Shinnosuke was browsing through the internet and more than once using to his advantage the global connection that comes with his access to the computer in order to satisfy his habits and indecent hobbies, Yumoto Teppei tuning in to the occuring horse race in an international channel in his device, Nakamoto Chosuke merrily bading his time reading through documents of recent illegal activities assigned to his care, Kiyomizu Yukihiro fiddling with yet another craft he made out of wood and glue, Kato Haru awaiting the telephone to sound off and have another indiviual summon him for a petty crime, and Kambe Daisuke seated far from the othere, legs crossed and chin resting on his knuckles as he appraised the tranquil area.

Haru slammed his hands on his desk and threw his head, moaning in disdain. "Why isn't the phone ringing?" Whined he as his posture was regained after a moment or so. His eyes, lit with pure frustration and impatience, glared at the telephone, as though threatening without verbalizing his objective would somehow make it ring. "Come on, ring, you stupid phone. How come you always ring whenever I don't want you to and don't when I do?"

"It's a slow day." Remarked Kamei, not takint his eyes off his computer as he regarded his colleague. "Try to enjoy it. You can have all your action some other day."

Haru leaned against his chair, back sliding against the backrest and the back of his neck hitting the edge of his leverage. "Not everyone has weird hobby to keep themselves entertained." Countered Haru, and a pout formed on the blond male's lips at the comment. "This job is what keeps me from going insane."

The offended male turned his swivel chair to face Haru, face scrunched with the same attribute he exuded, "Oi, don't say it like that. It's bad if you describe it like that."

"It's weird without even having to add the adjective." Saeki chimed in between her chewing, humming as the flavor of the chip formerly cinched in the possession of her fingers travelled to her taste buds.

Kamei whipped around to her position, shoulders tensr with the taste of truth and reality, both of which ignored in favor of living in bliss. "It's nor weird. It's perfectly normal for men to be looking at those . . . sort of inappropriate . . . videos." His words trailed off as he came to realization that his own defense betrayed him.

"I agree, but not at work." Haru simply retorted. "Would you want to see me cooking a whole feast inside the precint?"

Kamei looked up in ponder, mouth curling as his thought process stuttered before he presented his inquiry, "Do we get to taste the food you made though?"

Haru stared at the blond man with an impervious mask decorating his appearance, unimpressed with how the man broached the metaphorical event served to him. "Never mind." Shaking his head with amicable dismay, Haru turned his seat to a half circle, arms taking space upon the the armrests. His line of sight crossed over the facile yet minimalistic design of their room, the dull colors of the walls an addition to his disinterest until it landed on a brooding and well vested man.

The referred individual had boredom etched all over his striking features, the lack of events occuring in the Modern Crimes he could invest his time in had him in a bad mood although showcasing it to his colleagues was not his cup of tea. He and Haru were different, and how they handle themselves in this patience consuming day was one of them.

"I'm surprised you're still here." Haru conveyed with a vestige of astonishment. Truly the older man had no such ability that could understand the complexity of his wealthy counteepart. Most days, whenever days were a little too slow for his liking, he would up and retreat back to his home (mansion seems more of an appropriate term to refer to his household) but lately, he had been spending more time in the precinct, and Haru did not know how he should react to this development, or devolvement. His comment floated in the density formulating inside the office, and everybody present swiveled their heads to await his response. "I thought you'd be back in your house now. No cases today, it seems. No games to entertain yourself with today."

"Tell me something I have yet to know, Inspector Kato." Retorted Daisuke, and a tick mark grew on Haru's forehead, but his displeasure to his rude counter was ignored as Daisuke brought his fingers to his ear. He spoke, enough for others to hear his statements. "HEUSC, locate the nearest and most recent crimes occuring within the area."

Haru rose from his seat, alarmed. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?"

Daisuke did not respond to Haru and awaited his butler's relay of information. It did not take more than a few seconds until it has accumulated enough information to submit to his master. "A few streets away, a murder of two took place in a bar called Denyr. Investigation is in process currently."

Daisuke removed his hand from his earpiece and looked towards a flabbergasted. "You heard HEUSC. Let's get going." Daisuke stood up from the couch, dusting himself off before making his way towards the door.

"Wait a minute," Clamored Haru, and Daisuke looked over his shoulder to gaze at him. Haru gritted his teeth, irritated. "You can't just up and go and do whatever you want! This is not your call! We weren't called so we'll just disturb everyone else who's already there."

"Aren't cops allowed to interfere in crimes or disturbance in peace whenever they want? It's their job." Said Daisuke. "And besides, you're just as eager as I am to do something other than waste the entire day waiting for the phone to ring." Then he frowned. "Unless, I'm mistaken, of course. I have no qualms leaving you here. I'm sure you'll be useful for warming up your chair for tomorrow."

Haru growled at him. "You stupid . . . " He grunted and took his jacket off his chair. "Fine! I'll go with you, just to keep you in check!"

“Wait a minute,” Exclaimed Saeki, causing Haru and Daisuke to turn just as the latter had began turning the doorknob. The pink haired female abandoned her seat in favor of giving them a standing and patronizing narrowed glower. “Haru, aren’t you forgetting something today?”

Haru looked up in thought, trying to recall what Saeki was implying. Nothing significant manifested in his line of thought and he turned to his colleague with a frown conjuring in his mien. “Uh, I don’t think I’m forgetting anything.” Answered Haru.

Daisuke grunted, displeased by the interrupting. “Then let’s get going.”

Daisuke pushed the door open and stepped outside. Haru was following suit, shrugging his jacket on when Saeki called out for them once more, particularly the older officer. She had her arms crossed, an unamused pout forming on her brims. “Haru, don’t be stupid!” Clamored she. “I can’t believe you forgot what today is!”

Haru let out an exasperated sigh. “I honestly can’t remember what makes today so important.” Said he. “What is it?”

Kamei rolled his swivel chair back, making sure to reveal himself from any obstructions blocking his form. “Eh? You of all people forgot (Your Name) is coming back?” He conveyed and whistled right after. “That’s surprising, and disappointing. I’m sure she won’t be thrilled knowing you’ll be the last one welcoming her back after her hospitalization – her best friend, her partner in crime.”

Haru’s face fell upon acquiring the information relayed to him. His mind refreshed, finally remembering the time when you took your time from resting in the hospital just to tell him you were soon to be discharged after the outcome of you recklessly electing to throw yourself in front of him when the perpetrator pulled the trigger and shot a bullet his way. You were fortunate enough to have the cylindrical metal projectile imbedded nowhere near any of your vital veins, but due to your blood loss as well as the stacking strain and stress in your body forced you to be admitted in the care of the hospital. Haru was sure you were not supposed to move when you selected to take your phone and call him because he can hear the nurse in the other line scolding you, telling you to end the connection and to rest easy for the remaining week. He could only miss you more – he knew how much you hated doing anything but police work. Haru couldn’t believe he forgot about that since he distinctly remember hardly being able to be consumed by sleep when excitement for your return filled him.

“Shit, it’s today.” Cursed Haru as his shoulders dropped. He slapped his palm against his forehead, groaning. “My God – how can I forget? I’m the worst partner ever.”

Daisuke glanced at Haru, bemused. This was the first time he had heard over this (Your Name) woman. To him, Haru was always a lone wolf who preferred to be alone in his work unless he was required to have a companion with him. Or maybe because it was loyalty to his said partner kept him from going to missions with another. Daisuke looked back at Saeki and Kamei, “Who’s (Your Name)?”

Haru wanted nothing more than to hide your existence from Daisuke. You already had so much in your plate and having a rich bastard interpolating with it was more than you can handle, especially after being hospitalized for quite a while. But it was inevitable for the two of you to meet seeing as Daisuke seemed to be taking a strong liking with playing cop and were in the same department as him. So resigning with the concept of keeping you away from Daisuke, Haru let out a deep sigh. “(Your Name) is another cop in our department. She’s my partner.”

Daisuke blinked at him. “Someone can actually put up with you?”

Haru angrily show his fist to Daisuke, irritation swathing his figure. “What was that? I should be the one saying something that! I don’t know how Suzue-san can put up with your rich ass!”

“Maybe if you’re rich, you’ll know.” Countered Daisuke.

Before Haru could grab hold of Daisuke’s collar, the latter efficiently evaded his attempt to do so and stalked off into the corridor, adjusting his pristine suit as he ventured away. “If you want to stay here and wait for your partner, fine by me. I can go alone and handle the murders all by myself.” He said without looking back to meet Haru’s hardened gaze. “I’m sure this (Your Name) person is more important than the safety of other Japanese citizens.”

“O-Oi, I haven’t even decided yet! Don’t assume I’m not going!” As much as Haru wanted to be the first person to greet you back to work, he too loved justice and cared about the people who wanted to live in peace. Clicking his tongue out of annoyance, he turned to everyone left in the room, and all of them returned his gaze with bemused expressions. “Kambe and I will be quick. We’ll just drop by the crime scene and then cime back. I’m sure I’ll be able to return here before (Your Name) can. If not, tell her I’ll be back soon.”

***

daisuke was never inclined to pursue a romantic relationship. ever since witnessing his mother died, his life had been reserved into finding the truth. but little did he know, his perspective in love and romance will change, and hary will most certainly freak the fuck out

the two police officers arrived in the crime scene in a short amount of time. with how daisuke was speeding, it was understandable they would get there fast and very understandable how haru's whole life flashed right before his eyes. daisuke was actually tempted to go even faster but opposed to it after a while as he did not want to deal more with haru's tantrum after he recovered.

of course when they arrived there, the detectives assigned to the case shooed them off because they're not part of the investigations.

daisuke knew how to deal with them, of course. he brandished stacks of yen to include them in the case and the detectives were like 👀 because you know, who doesn't want extra cash?

haru didn't bother complaning anymore and just went to work. he wanted to get back to the station as soon as possible and welcome you first. best friend efforts, get a best friend like haru.

haru: "i scout the ground floor, you go upstairs - AND NO SPENDING MONEY YOU RICH BASTARD"

daisuke:

haru:

daisuke:

haru:

daisuke:

haru:

haru: "and - "

daisuke left before haru could finish his sentence. really daisuke just stayed and didn't answer him just so he could piss haru off. it worked nonetheless and daisuke can hear haru cursing at him as he walked upstairs

but we all know whatever daisuke does pisses haru off so so it didn't matter.

daisuke went up to the second floor if the bar and he saw how thrashed the place was

overturned tables, fallen chairs, broken bottles, reeks of alcohol, smears and pools of blood but everything seemed pleasant to look at compared to the two corpses that laid out on the floor with police tapes around them. it looked like a small massacre occured in there, and thay surely was the case

head smashed, chunks of flesh scattered, broken skulls but daisuke merely stared at them blankly

he wasn't disgusted nor disturbed. seeing his own mother's corpse was enough for him to deem gore as just another normal addition to his life

like another detective, daisuke began looking for clues. he searched the entire place like the good and professional detective he is -

who am i kidding - the first thing he did once he sees the condition of the second floor was, or course, ask HEUSC for information. screw asking them from fellow detectives when daisuke has his own ai butler

ahh perks of being a kambe

daisuke: "heusc, tell me the exact number of people that attended this bar between nine am to twelve in the afternoon"

heusc: "understood"

it did not take long until heusc responded

heusc: "the exact number of people who attended genyr is twenty seven. twelve in the ground floor, twelve in the ground floor, fifteen in the second. there are two dead bodies found in the second floor - "

daisuke snapped his head to the ceiling as soon as he heard a soft creak emit from over him

daisuke stared at the ceiling for about a moment before askint heusc - "look at the footage from the surveillance cameras surrounding the the bar. how many people fled outside?"

daisuke heard another creek above him, and this time he was sure he wasn't alone

and his unknown companion would love to have him in the same state as the corpses

and heusc replied: "twenty four"

daisuke closed his eyes, "is that so?"

heusc: "one person remains inside the building"

daisuke dropped his communication with his ai and positioned himself to a clean posture, back straight and hands tucked inside his pockets

daisuke: "you can come out now. no use hiding. i know you're here"

no response

daisuke clicked his tongue, "i heard you moving around in the ceiling the entire time i'm here and it's only been two minutes. you're not as discreet as you think you are. reveal yourself now and i'd consider lessening your time in jail."

still, silence greeted him

daisuke was growing irritated by the lack of answer given to him.

daisuke: "a coworker of mine needs to be back at the station right now for a reunion with his girlfriend - " daisuke paused as he imagined haru having a girlfriend. " - so let's keep this short and simple. surrender and as i have promised earlier, i will try to get you lesser years in prison"

but daisuke was not intending to keep this promise. even he knows giving a generous offer to criminals would weaken their resolve

but again, there was no answer

but he expected this

he always does to every case he gets handed with, or forced his hands to

daisuke observed the ceiling through a blank lense before sighing "if this is how you want things to go down, then so be it"

daisuke touched his earring and deliberately increased the volume of his voice as he spoke to heusc - "heusc, purchase the bar and its neighboring buildings and set a bomb for twenty minutes. tell the others to get out of here as soon as possible" he sneered at the ceiling. "i don't mind dying inside this bar with the suspect. it's the norm for a police officer to risk theit lives in the name of justice"

he sounded like haru for a moment there

heusc responded immediately: "understood, sir. balance: unlimited"

it was after that statement did a response come to light

the ceiling above daisuke broke as a firm kick broke through the fragile material

daisuke jumped away before a slim figure of a man dropped down from the hole

before daisuke could move, the man dashed pass him and out of the room, his oustretchrd hand barely grazing the bloodied clothes he wore

daisuke didn't waste time and recovered from his stunned state before following after the perpetrator

daisuke kept losing track of the man from time to the time and when he got down to the grounr floor, he saw no sign of him

nobody was present inside the bar anymore per order of heusc and money

all except for haru of course who immediately ran out of the place he was scouring and back to the main room

daisuke knew he heard heusc's order to leave the building but

haru will always be haru

haru, upon seeing daisuke's solemn state, asked: "what happened"

daisuke: "the man - did you see him?"

*haru, confused noises*: "what man? who?"

daisuke: "the man who killed the peple upstairs - he was still here and he ran down, didn't you hear him?"

haru: "no, i didn't - " his sentence was cut off when a figure suddenly lunged at him

lo and behold the criminal who was hiding behind an overturned couch

haru and the man tumbled down to the ground, fists and feet swinging wildly. daisuke watched as haru struggled to acquire dominance over the situation

daisuke: "heusc, identity of the killer"

heusc: "sakatoshi matona, a former bouncer for genyr until he was let go without reason"

haru strung out profanities and grunts as he and the matona rolled on the floor, trying to pin the other down. with a boost of strength, matona managed to get the upper hand and he put all his weight on haru. his hands found haru's neck and began strangling him

daisuke was like aren't you cop? win you idiot in the inside and haru was like aren't you a cop? help me you bastard in the inside. just the norm for the reckless and seemingly suicidal cops

haru: "gwet hiff op opp mii"

heusc: "transalation: get him off of me"

daisuke took action after that. he pulled matona off of haru and immediately socked him on the face

matona stumbled back but daisuke underestimated the time he would tske to recover and he tumbled back as the criminal retaliated with a punch of his own

daisuke dodged the assault but in the process, temporarily losing his posture. matona took this as an opportunity to continue his line of attacks, landing a few good hits on daisuke but majority of the time, he failed

daisuke recovered from the initial shock matona has inflicted him with and returned to momentum ane he was preparing his attack when bam - haru kato

my day be so fine then boom - haru kato

daisuke's eyes widened when haru, after standing up, tried to lock matona's arms to prevent him from moving anymore but instead, his chest met with an elbow

air was taken away from him and haru staggered backwards, clutching his chest and matona seized him

daisuke cursed and shot forward to help him but stopped when matona took haru's gun away from him and pointed it towards haru

matona: "stand back or i'll shoot"

haru raised his hands in surrender but daisuke did not

and haru was: ?????!!!!! tryna get me killed????!!!!

daisuke: "i can keep my promise, you know"

matona pointed the gun at daisuke

matona: "how can you when you're just a lowly cop?"

daisuke took out his cigar and lit up

daisuke: "yes, because a lowly cop can just buy buildings with a single command from an ai"

matona growled "rich, snobby, uncaring, and a liar. you're just the same like the people i killed"

daisuke opened his mouth to reply when a feminine voice cuts in

"finally, a confession. now we can get this over with"

before anyone could react appropriately, matona felt a hand take hold of his stolen gun and tore it away from his grasp before a heel sunk into his stomach, causing him to spit out blood

daisuke saw her, a woman standing with such grace, confidence, and strength with a gun in her hand and a smirk on her brims

daisuke couldn't move not from shock, but with admiration

who was this woman?

and what was this thudding in his chest

doki doki

his face was hot, very hot

and so was the woman

"( YOUR NAME )???"

daisuke turned and saw haru gawking at you

haru: (@[]@!!)

daisuke: （－－）

also daisuke: is that really (your name)? haru's partner? haru's girlfriend?

daisuke: hmp hmp（｀ー´）

you turned to both of them and daisuke was blown away with you that he nearly fell

he thinks you're very pretty

V E R Y

doki doki

you smiled widely at them: "haru, it's so nice to see you again" and then you turned to daisuke

daisuke froze and his cigar dropped

you glanced back at haru: "you already replaced me?"

haru: "tf no! rich boy here wanted to plays cops for a while so he went to our department. you know me, i could never replace you"

daisuke glared at haru

it waa obvious he was trying hard not to upset you (though you didn't look like the type who would get easily offended)

plus he's pushing a single and narrow minded narrative about him towards you. what if you hate him?

but you didn't and merely smiled at him, ignoring the criminal trembling from the pain of your kick

you: "my name is (your name)"

daisuke.exe has stopped working

jk that won't happen to daisuke

for now at least

daisuke: "kambe daisuke"

you, smiling: "nice to meet you, kambe daisuke!"

haru: "how did you find us here?"

you: "was gon get a drink before i head to the station but then i saw police tapes and stuff"

haru looked alarmed: "YOU WERE GOING TO DRINK RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL"

you turned away from them, facing matona: "you can continue scolding me after we arrest this killer, haru. sorry in advance for haru, daisuke. he can be pretty overbearing and protective"

daisuke: "i can tell"

haru was offended okay?

you were already teaming up with daisuke to tease? betrayal.

haru: "how dare you (your name) - "

you did not let haru to finish his sentence and starter beating the shit out of matona like DAMN GHORL

daisuke and haru watched from a distance as you expertly used the gun to your advantage without pulling the trigger. you used the metal to hit him in fragile parts of his body in order to limit his movement

daisuke gawked at you

he has never seen such fluid execution for an arrest

daisuke looked: O-O

haru, seeing him, smugly crossed his arms and said: "you get to see how amazing (your name) is as a cop. she's my partner"

just as he said that, you pinned the criminal down on the ground, gun discarded, your one hand straining his arm behind his back and the other pinning his other hand on the ground

you: "i just got out of the hospital. how did i still win?"

daisuke suddenly frowned

oh, right. she's haru's girlfriend.

several minutes later, you successfully managed to arrest sakatoshi matona and the other detectives came to take him. but of course, you made sure you, daisuke, and haru were getting the recognition

like hell you were letting someone else get the glory for your efforts

you returned to daisuke and haru, smiling

they were talkiny when you hugged haru from behind

you: "haru i missed youuuu. it was lonely without your annoying butt looking out after me all the time"

haru flushed red

haru: "if you didn't catch the bullet for me then - "

you: "and let you get shot instead? nu uh, no way. i would take any bullet for you. right, daisuke?"

he felt speechless when you regarded him

daisuke didn't know what else to say to you so he said: "yes, i agree"

but somehow the the thought of you getting shot angered him

haru looked at daisuke, thinking: he acting kinda sus rn

you turned to haru and the two of you began catching up, smiling and laughing

you two looked comfortable so with each other. you two were carbon copies of one another, except you were ten times better, sorry haru

you two were made for each other

no wonder you're his girlfriend

you: "how's everyone in the precinct?"

haru: "still the same. everyone missed you"

daisuke: "are you two together?"

haru: 👁👄👁

you: *long ass laughing emoji*

haru turned very red, shouting: "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA"

daisuke: "you said you were partners - "

you: "i didn't know you liked me that way, haru - "

haru: "NO I DON'T KAMBE WAS JUST BEING A DUMBASS"

you tittered and turned to daisuke: "no, we're not together, kambe-san" you tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. "sorry if i scared you"

daisuke felt relief wash over him

daisuke: "i was just wondering. you and haru seemed very close so i was just making sure i wasn't misunderstanding"

daisuke froze with wide eyes when you leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek

and you whispered to him: "gotta work on being discreet when you look at me. i can practically see you chasing after me in the future with how you were looking at me. i'm flattered you find me that fascinating"

you turned to the shook haru: "i like this one, haru. we should bring him along with our cases"

you regarded them both: "anyways, i'll be heading over to the station first. i can write up the report and have man behind bars quickly. don't worry though, i'll make all three of us have the glory. i trust that you two can finish up here without me?"

the two men wanted to say something but both of them were stunned. you just kissed daisuke on the cheek and your best friend saw it. daisuke's eyes were wide and haru had his jaw dropping down

they still didn't say anything when you bid them farewell and just watched as you went to a police car with another cop where matona was and sped off

daisuke can feel his heart hammering against his chest

what was this feeling? it was so strange and . . . it's just strange, but he was not oppossed to thie feeling

in fact, he wanted more of it. as long as it came from you, it was fine

haru, however, was not

haru looked like he had seen the most horrifying thing ever

B E T R A Y E D

his best friend and this cop wannabe?

D I S G U S T H A N G

daisuke cleared his throat and turned to haru to say something but was met with a finger pointed at his face and haru looking vexed

haru: "you - "

the bar and the buildings nearby exploded beforw haru could say anything more. everyone except for daisuke was startled and sunk down on the ground

daisuke was not though. and he remained standing. not for the reason he forgot about the bomb he instructed heusc to plant but because

- you kissed him and he was self destructing

daisuke held back the smile threatening to tear through his face

haru: "w-what was t-t-th - "

daisuke: "i forgot about the bomb, sorry"

[g-lbertblythe]

Loving You Is A Losing Game

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x the reader, JJ Maybank x the reader

Summary: You decided to go after Sarah when she had got lost with John B. In order to find her, you have to save JJ from Rafe first.

Could be some grammer and spelling mistakes.

What the hell was going on?

You asked yourself because Sarah wasn't around for you to ask her. She left the Midsummer party that was in honor of his father. There's got to be a good reason for that, you thought to yourself. You were curious and a little bit worried about her whereabouts. You've seen her with one of the pogues, with John B the other day. He was working for Cameron's and known for his really crowded beach parties. You have seen him and Sarah at the dock and she was suspiciously acting different since then and it wasn't even that long ago. Also you could literally sense in the air that something's off. Not knowing what's happening driving you crazy, you got to know. You see Rafe and Topper chatting, they must know something. On your way to them, you spotted the waiter and stopped him. You didn't recognize the blonde until he turned around and face you. His shirt was not in order, there was a cut on his lower lips left side and the way he holds the tray was so loose, he was too close to drop it and it even got one empty glass on it. You knew the guy, he was JJ and you knew he was friend with John B who you think with Sarah right now because you saw her and him talking just before she got lost. You had questions about that. Lots of questions. Before you were able to approach to Sarah and John B, they were nowhere in sight like in blink of an eye. You only went to talk to some boring people for a second because your mother eyed you to do so.

"Are you working here?" You asked and it sounded more suspicious than you intend to be, your eyebrow went a little up without your willing.

"No I just like serving drinks to kooks for fun." He said violently. "Purpose of my life."

You ignored what he said and decided to turn this into an advantage. "I want tequila. Please."

"You are a minor." He said examining you up and down. Then his eyes met yours. He was a minor, too.

" Like you're the most sensitive person about minor drinking."

"I'll be back within a second." He said in a tone that is not very convincing. You were sure he wasn't even here for working. He was the living proof that something was going on.

JJ was about to leave the pary because his misson was done, he had delivered John B's message to Sarah, now he got to get out of here. Then he noticed Rafe and Topper and couple of his other friends saw him. He paced up his steps as he saw they were coming his way. Now, he got to get out of here really fast, preferably before getting beating up.

When Rafe punched him in the face at the second of floor of the Cameron's household, he once more decided that he was sick of getting beaten up but there were four of them. Still he pushed Rafe of off him and ready to attack but somebody else hold him and he got another beat in his stomach.

There was no way out of here. He got himself trapped, how much of a stupid idea to get in the house when everyone else was outside? He sweared himself inside.

"What the hell?" JJ heard a voice that doesn't belong to none of the boys who were beating him currently. He was grateful because the voice of the source made them stop. Rafe let go of his collar but still someone else holding him still so he can't slip out.

Rafe walked forward to the entrance while wiping the blood on his hand. "Just go Y/N. Nothing to see here."

JJ saw you standing at the doorsill, totally shocked by the scene in front of you. You looked at JJ's bloody face and noticed that he's breathing noisily. God, it's good that you followed him in here. They were about to bash him up.

Then you turned to Rafe, probably he was the person who's responsible for what's happening here. "You're about to murder someone and you want me to stay away from it?" You asked Rafe who looks like not patient enough to listen to what you have to say. "Let him go." You cut it short.

"We aren't murdering him, we are just teaching him a second lesson about not taking a step here ever again. Isn't that right?" Rafe turned to JJ and slapped his face in fake friendly way. It made JJ aggressively try to free himself from Topper who's holding him behind but Topper had a firm grip on him.

"I'll call the security." You threatened Rafe, he thought you won't do it even though the expression you put on your face was telling him the other way. He knew you had a soft spot for him as he does for you. He got to that conclusion because you were distant and cold with people you don't know and always hide behind smart sentences. You rarely show affection to the ones you do love but he always finds you very caring and sympathetic around him. And the the same thing goes for him. That's why he knew you wouldn't say anything.

He just laughed and was ready to punch JJ again.

"You think I won't do it?" You tried to stop him but he punched him so hard on some part of JJ's body you couldn't see. JJ moaned with pain. Then Rafe again turned to you with his evil smirk on his face. God, you knew him since you were kids. How did he get this way? He wasn't like this. Maybe never an angel but not this satanic sadistic person either. He wasn't known with his kindness to other people but you had a chance to get to know him more than anyone because your relationship with Sarah enable you to know each other since you were kids. He was just hurt like everybody else, he only had a very unpleasant way of showing it.

"The security is here to protect us from people like him. They won't do a shit."

You know until the security comes they would still beat him to death and got away with it because you were all rich and the security,indeed, were for them. You were the ones who were paying them.

Rafe got closer to you and tried to put his hand on your cheeks but you blocked him. "Look, I don't want you to witness what's happening here. Just go downstairs and enjoy the party. We wouldn't want your lovely dress to get dirty." He said, looking at your eyes as he was waiting for acceptance from you but you only glared at him. God, he could be the greatest ass sometimes.

"I'm calling your mom." You passed through Rafe and walk towards to Topper. "I am sure she wouldn't be pleased to hear his son is a some sort of vigilante now. Don't you think?" You could see the fear of what his mother migt do when she finds out in Topper's eyes. His looks went between me and Rafe but he eventually let JJ go. Rafe gave him a disappointed and angry look as he was passing by Rafe in order to leave the room but Topper shrugged his shoulders and said "What?". Topper's giving up meant the others had no other choice than withdrawal.

Everybody knew how much strict his mother was and he would do anything to please her. They did had to leave even though they didn't want to. You made sure by watching them get out of the room. When everybody was gone, you kneeled next to JJ. He was wiping the blood on his face with his white shirts sleeves.

"Are you okay?" You asked watching him do what he does and be careful to give him enough space he wouldn't elbow you in the process of clearing his face.

He just nodded and whispered something that sounds like a thanks. Kept brushing his face until all of his sleeves were all red. His old bruise on his lip was renewed and had new companions. He whimpered whenever he touched the parts close to the bone. The way he cleans his face was so fast as If he just wants to be finished as soon as possible and leave. Or it was just a regular and boring procedure for him because most of the times you see him, you see him with bruised face. It must have been a pogue thing, you guessed. You heard that he has a gun too.

You kept watching his hand movements until he stopped and looked at you curiously. Wondering what you were still doing here and you've been watching very carefully. He didn't even tried to stop himself from staring at you. You were waiting , your hands on on your legs, to him to be finished. You guessed he was done. "I want something in return."

"Of course you want." He rolled his eyes. He attempted to get up, put his hand on his sides to balance himself. You pulled yourself back and also got up.

"Do you know where Sarah is?" You asked.

"How can I know that? Aren't you her bestfriend?" He said, he held his stomach. Probably was hurting because of all the kicking and all. Still, he had enough energy to lie to you. You knew he has something to do with Sarah's absence. You were not a fool, in fact, you were an excellent observer.

"Okay, you decided you wanna play this game. " You got closer to him so he could see your face clearly. It's time to be intimidating now and show him you'd know more than he thinks you know."I know she's with John B. Something is going on and I have to know. I am sure you know where they are."

He didn't seem so affected by your intimidating voice. He just looked at your eyes blankly. "Did you ever wonder why your bestfriend didn't tell you anything? "

You were actually obsessed with this thing because of that.Sarah would tell you everything, well except this but you never thought it was because she wanted it to keep it hidden from particularly you. You didn't let JJ get into your head. "None of your business. Now tell me where she is."

"I am telling you nothing." He said daringly and started walking out. Why he was so secretive about where she is? You got suspicious more and more but this time even worried.

"I'm just worried about her." Your voice had softened and you thought that's why he stopped. You knew how much pogues are protective and interdepent about each other. "This isn't like her."

"You'll talk to her when she gets back. " He turned back. "Don't worry we don't bite." Walked out the door without you got a chance to answer him.

You started following him, he heard the loud sound that your heels left on the floor and carelessly, turned back to check if it was you. He didn't stop walking and didn't even say anything about you following him. You watched him behind as his hair went up and down with his every big step. You caught up to him, you had to run, he was so fast. He just gave you a glimpse when you were in the same alingment.

"I'll call the security." You said, having hard times keeping up with him. "You obliviously sneaked into the party. Attacked the guests."

"I didn't attack the guests, I was just minding my own business, they attacked me." He protested as he kept pacing, not even facing you. He was so focused on leaving here. Yet again, he turned to you as his face had a new expression: confused. "You just saw them."

"Well, I think the security would rather believing me than believing a notorious delinquent." He stopped walking and his whole body and his face met with your lifted brow and smirking in pleasure of having an advantage face. He got little steps towards you and squinted his eyes but in a amusing way.

"Are you blackmailing me?" He said that in very offending way. He heard you are a smart mouth but he always thought you were a quiet, minding her own business type of person. It was the first time you two are actually talking. He didn't expect you to be so, well, demanding and persistent.

"No. " You said softly. "I'm just giving you conceivable reasons to tell me where Sarah is. That's all."

He chuckled looking at the ground with a little head shake but he poked his cheek with his tongue to contain himself. He was in a hurry. When he managed to get a firm face, your eyes met. "Call the security If you want, they'll just throw me away but I'm already leaving" He said and gave you an fake smile and begin to walk again. "Try something else." He said at your failed attempt but you saw it as a dare. He took a quick turn unexpectedly. It made you almost trip and left you behind him. You noticed he did that avoid something. Someone. It strucked you in that moment. You looked back to confirm. He startled because he spotted Rafe's friends near the stairs standing.

"You know Rafe would like to know your whereabouts. " You stopped him and pointed with your finger where Kelce and Jeremy drinking and talking to each other so loudly. It looked like they are fighting. " It looks like he's not giving up." This time he looked indecisive about what to do. His eyed for a way out. He nearly growled in frustration. You found the voice amusing but didn't laugh. You wanted him to take you seriously.

"I'll get you out of here without you getting beaten up again, If you take me to Sarah. Is that where you're going, isn't it?" He squinted his eyes, deciding his next move. You were afraid he might start running, you wouldn't be able to catch him If he did.

Fortunately, he chose not to run away, probably haven't noticed you're not fast enough. He turned on his heels and muttered angrily. "Just take me to the beach."

You tried to hide your excitement over getting what you seek. Contrary the general idea, your life was dull as fourth season of a really bad tv series. It was your first time you had so much attraction in one night. You felt guilty as soon as you thought this was a adventurous night. Your friend was nowhere to be found for god sake, you said to yourself. And you had something very important to say her.

You spotted Rafe and Topper at the other side of the floor, waiting for JJ to show up. Before you get too close to Rafe and Topper, you two stop to think your way out.

"There's no way we can go that way. Let's try the other way. " He said hiding himself behind a column.

"What other way? There's no other way." You said checking constantly if they see you.

"We can jump from the window?" He suggested like it is an easy thing to do. He must have no idea how high is this house.

"This is the second floor." You felt like stating because he seems so down with the idea.

"So?" He said, finding very weird that you object. His blonde hair swinged from his head shaking. His face was covered in bruises, one on his right cheeck bone, some on his jawline. He squinted his eyes even though it must have hurt to do it.

"I am not jumping from the second floor. " You emphasized. "I am wearing a dress."

He took a glimpse of what you were wearing. It was a long black dress that covers your breats and waist perfectly. It was so long that hems of it were mostly sweeping the ground. Your hair was a loose bun, it looked very natural although there were so many daisy clasps on your hair in the name of the Midsummer.

"You'll get a new one." He said. "I am jumping of the window, you can stay here with your pretty dress. " Before he was about to leave he checked out your dress once more. "I really mean the last part." He winked. You didn't take anything he said seriously. There was no way you are jumping of the window. You stopped him by holding his arm. The second he stopped and faced you, you let go. "You are already hurt. You can't jump. I have a better idea. The safer way out."

"I don't need to do a safer way." He said in a low voice.

"You are one dangerous guy, yes, so I've noticed." You heard the some of the words of Rafe and Topper so you checked once more If they could see you. When you made sure that they don't you turned your head to JJ. "Don't worry, this won't spoil your reputation, bad guy. I'll distract them, you go behind their back, okay?"

He nodded in agreement. You intend to take action, you had another thought. He could've leave without you when he got downstairs. "You wouldn't bail me on, would you?" You asked him, directly looking at his really blue eyes to see if they match his answer or not. You sincerely wanted to trust him but not entirely sure that he won't leave you.

He was taken aback the look upon your face, your eyes wandered his so tensely he got nervous. And what you said or the way you said it. He couldn't be sure but it sounded from the heart. "No. " He said, trying to make it sound reassuring.

You nodded slowly before you stopped the eye contact with him, you made sure he wasn't faking it until the last moment. Eventually took his words although you weren't hundred percent convinced but still went through your plan again in your head once more. You took a deep breath and turned on your heels and made your way to Rafe. "Wait for my signal." You said only turning your head back to JJ.

"Hey!" He grabbed your hand and made you face him."What signal?"

"I don't know." You said. "You'll know it when you see it. Stay close."

JJ murmured under his breath when you joined the two kooks in tuxedos. He got closer to three of you and hid behind a large posh plant. It had wide leaves to cover him perfectly.

"Rafe, can I talk to you?" You said after giving them a slight greeting with your head. Rafe blinked a few times after placing his hands on his pockets. You turned to Topper. "Could you get us something to drink?" You smiled politely.

As Topper attempt to leave, he was stopped by Rafe. "She wants you to leave us alone." Rafe said only eye contacting with you. " There's no need for drinks." Added this time talked directly at Topper.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Topper said in confusion before he went down. Rafe had to made sure that he made you feel like you were not a mystery to him. So stating the oblivious was his way of proving it but you didn't consider too much. He was always a little uncomfortable and a little happy that you always psychoanalyze him. You often tend to be right. You knew he was feeling like the black sheep of the family and how much he wanted his father love and approval. You thought the reason hidden behind his aggressive behaviors was this. You knew he wasn't bad underneath it all. You have witnessed it. Otherwise he wouldn't be taking his little sisters little friend so seriously. Somehow you were sure that he cares about you, in his own way at least.

You took Topper's former place as soon as he left, therefore Rafe had to turn his back on the stairs as you planned. You looked at JJ's direction without being noticed by Rafe. You saw his hair and his eyes, watching you two talk. You were glad he didn't go to jump from a window.

"What was tonight all about?" You questioned him. He was standing tall, his chin up a little too proud way and a smirk on his face. It was a disturbing smile but then again a smile at least. It was a rare thing to detect on his face lately.

"Well, it's about my father's contributions to -"

You rolled your eyes at his not so funny explanation. "I meant the shenanigans you pull in your little Fight Club?"

"Shenanigans?" He laughed looking at the ground. He was taller than you so he had to look down to meet his eyes with yours. "We had unclosed business, nothing more than that."

"Why are you doing this?" You asked him when you remembered his mood when you caught him beating JJ. It was scary, like something took over him. "This won't make your father notice you."

You normally don't get this subject but you had to draw his attention and nothing mattered to him more than being a bad son.

"I don't need you to give me a therapy, okay?" He got pretty aggressive quickly. His blue eyes got wider and he nearly spit on your face while talking. The rare smile was gone and his usual angry expression was back. Then you noticed how red his eyes are.

"I am not. I just felt an urge to warn you. The things you do will end up biting you in the ass."

"No, it's not how things work. I am just protecting what's mine, do you understand? If you're worried about that shithead, he only barks at his own territory. "

You find it hard to understand his hatred for pogues. You wanted to change the conversation because Rafe was getting angrier and you saw JJ can hear you talk and he doesn't look like he was happy with what heard or patient enough to listen to it any longer.

"I am not worried about him. I am worried about you." You said but felt like you must continue because it sounded too sentimental for your taste or Rafe's taste. "Your dad already gives you little allowance, you'll end up with nothing."

"He won't do anything If you say nothing to him or to Sarah. She wouldn't keep her mouth shut for once. " He said, you knew the threading tone in his voice comes from a habit, from his urge to protect himself from everyone. If you didn't know him any better you wouldn't know he's actually asking you not to tell anybody. He was different and mostly, difficult to understand, you think that's why his relationship with everyone was really bad. Nobody could see his real intentions behind his sick behaviors. You couldn't blame anyone, it wasn't easy to detect or once you detect it wasn't easy to sustain.

"Of course I am not going to say anything." As soon as he heard those words, he was relieved. His straight posture relaxed with an inhale, his jaw loosened and his eyes softened as he gained his good mood. He put on his crooked smile and it made the wrinkles near his mouth appear and his eyes had a similar vibe. "You can't resist me."

And the expected happened, him flirting with you for fun was the way of figuring out if he's in a good state. "Well, as much as I'd tell myself stop finding you charming when you're beating the shit out people, can't help it."

JJ could hear the things you talked and quite surprised seeing Rafe like he's...happy. Or decent for once. He thought the possibility of Rafe liking someone and the whole thing would sound so surreal if he hadn't witnessed his looks towards you. He felt bad for you though, it was Rafe after all. Then he wondered If you liked him too -because who would survive a moment with Rafe without feeling pure hatred at the end? You looked like you actually care about him. You must be a fool to like Rafe of all people, he thought. Then he remind himself he should keep himself aware of every act of you, so he wouldn't miss your "signal".

"Dont be so surprised of yourself. " said Rafe. "It's so obvious you are a bad boy loving type of girl."

You let out really loud laughter, there were even tears in the corners of your eyes. He watched you laugh with a satisfied smile on his face that he caused it.

"Bad boy loving type of girl?" You said continue to laugh, maybe more than before. You really found the way he put it very amusing. "If you were a bad boy before, you got yourself off the hook with that sentence. " You said a few seconds you calmed yourself.

"You don't deny it." Rafe said, with an intense look in his eyes. It made you a little terrified, you forgot you were laughing seconds ago. Everything with Rafe was so tense.

"Deny what? That I like bad boys?"

Rafe nodded and waited for you answer as the other blonde did wonder the same thing. JJ felt like you caught up with your conversation and forgot that he's there waiting for you to rescue him but also he was caught up with it too. He found himself guessing Rafe might be right about something for the first time in his life. JJ felt disgusted with himself agreeing with Rafe but you were kind of girl who looks so tough like nothing could hurt you. They way you talk, the way you move like simple things as you lift your eyebrows or smile- they looked distant, arrogant and so satisfied with yourself. You looked like you are not easy to break but you were pretty sure and made everyone sure of that you could break another, could read their minds. In his brief interaction with you, JJ could easily picked this things up. People like you thinks they can fix anything, so also made JJ think you would like the danger and the attraction of a bad boy, would try to make him want to be better. It was so clichè maybe but still felt like it.

"Do you really think I'm that transparent?" You asked Rafe, you wanted to know if he thinks he got you all figured out. "What made you come to that conclusion?"

Rafe shrugged like he don't know but his eyes beg to difference. "Just a hunch."

"Well, as we all know, I didn't have much experience about this things. I am neutral. "You said even bringing up your non existing love life was not a comfortable subject for you.

"You have no experience of anything really but you act like you know everything." He said as a reference to the disagreement you two had about weed and the heavy stuff he takes. These words were the part of his indestructible defence of how harmless it is him getting high on a daily basis.

"I don't need to get high every time I got a chance and loose my shit to know it's bad. I'd have you known I was the one you begged for money, I was the one who saved your ass from your psycho dealer." You got so angry with him in light of speed. Everytime he promises not use it but he ends up doing it again.

"I said I'll pay you back, okay?" He sounded so used up with this talk again.

You rolled you eyes, you really hold yourself to not scream at his face. "I don't want you to pay me. I want you stop smoking it."

You had your eyebrows knitted, it made your forehead hurt. You didn't stop the eye contact with him but he did. He didn't like to be told what he should do. His jaw clenched but he was still so calm compared to other times. He would be gone right now if it's has been someone else.

You grabbed his chin and made him look at you. His eyes checked if it was your hand who touches his face because you never liked any physical contact unless it is so necessary. After he made sure it was you he was going to say something about it but he saw you way too frustrated with himself he didn't go for it. You always got so mad about this.

"You think that I don't notice your red eyes? " You asked and slowly left his smooth chin but the look upon your face stayed the same. "Stop doing this to yourself."

"Don't tell me what to do!" He said clenching his teeth, trying not to go too far with you. Still, he sounded as mad as you.

You remembered the presence of JJ, you got too carried away with Rafe you totally forgot what you came for in the first place and you didn't like he hears this private conversation about Rafe. Without getting caught, you checked if he is still there. You saw the tips of his hair behind the tree, and you knew he was looking at you although his eyes weren't in sight. Still, this talk with Rafe was way important than anything right now. Hell if he hears, why would he care?

"Do I have to remind you that Barry was here to hurt you, Rafe? Not to ask nicely, to actually hurt you physically? " You started whispering, got nervous about JJ hearing you guys talk but worse someone else might too. Rafe, as a typical addict, didn't like to hear this things so he was moving away and not facing you. He was wishing for you stop nagging about this.

"He came to the club Rafe! He threatened you and me!" You said trying to be in his sight as he kept turning his head to any sight you are not in.

"He won't do that you again, okay? " He said, locked his eyes to yours and looked like he's reliving the day in his mind. He got the same terrifying look. He spilled words after words in anger, repeating himself. You couldn't interrupt him, he wasn't breathing between the sentences. "I won't get you involved again okay? I made sure he won't try to hurt you. Or anyone else. He will never come to anywhere near you or my family. I took care of it. Do you understand? I won't let him. And I'll will pay you back. Promise. Do you believe me?"

You wanted to say so many things to him but it was obvious he was not in the right state of my mind to understand anything logical you have to say. He had to get cleaned up but all his dad was pushing him away and it made Rafe go more stray. You knew how crushing it feels being the less loved child of the family just because you are who you are. You knew Rafe mostly assume you help him because you feel accomplished when he's desperate. He once said it to you he feels like time to time although he knows your relationship with your mom. The truth is you see yourself in him sometimes. Now, seeing his eyes got blurred up and longing for someone to believe in him, simply just to love him, made you almost cry.

"You belive me, right Y/N?" He found himself asking again. Replaced both of his hands in your arms. Sometimes he couldn't stop the flowing of feelings inside of him, all the words were out of his mouth before he could put them in an order. Your eyes were staring into his, he could see there were something in them but you not saying anything was driving him mad.

"I do. "

"You do?" Rafe said with a broken smile, he had to check again to make sure what he heard was real.

" I do. I really do." You said once more with louder, certain tone. The words, they didn't feel enough him to understand. His pink lips were shaped as a smile but there were tears ready to drop in the corner of his eyes. You hold his body with your arms that he already has a grab on and closed the gap between you two. His hands moved up from your elbow to to your back and they ended up holding you so tight there, you felt you could never get out of it if he doesn't let you. You placed your head on his right shoulder, trying not to feel so sorry for him, you might burst into tears. You wouldn't like crying in front of him. All he needed a little love, all children wants to be loved by their parents. It was fundamental and when you don't receive it, you got so messed up inwardly, it might never be healed by anything. Both of you needed it but you knew neither of you could provide that to each other. Still, you could try. You whispered into his hears, making sure of your voice is the only thing gets into his head. "You'll make everything right, okay?"

"Okay." He said and repeated it more than once, trying to convince you. He didn't want to let down the only person who says that believes in him.

You startled instantly, hoped Rafe didn't sense it. With your left hand placed on Rafe's back, you waved JJ to let him know he should walk out now. When he saw you two hug, he was already preparing you to slip away but got scared that it's a brief hug and Rafe might turn his back and detect him. Surprisingly it was a long and intense hug he sees. As he saw your signal, he took action. On his tiptoes but still so quickly he made his way to the stairs and got lost in seconds. On his way, he wondered, did you planned this hug so Rafe can't see him escape or did it occur unintentionally?

You let your hands off of Rafe and it was a cue for him to let you go. Being this melancholic wasn't good for any of you. You don't like being vulnerable, especially around people. And you thought Rafe wouldn't like it either. Anyway, you had to go after JJ before he leaves without you. After you pulled away from each other, you moved a step back just in case. Being so close with Rafe or anyone felt so uncomfortable. Not that you didn't like Rafe, it was because something you didn't know or something you are afraid to admit. If you keep it going on and like the intimacy, you might never let it go.

"I have to go back to my duty to talk every dull guest and let them bore me with their questions about my future and present." You said. Rafe couldn't trace the emotions he saw in your eyes a minute ago. It was like they never happened. He didn't question for so long, you had a habit of ignoring anything troubling happening to you. And he went along with it.

"Why? Come with us to where the real fun is. "

"My mom makes me." You said and it was enough for him to understand to you have to do what she says to do. You obeyed everything she says to you but only her. You were really stubborn with Rafe.

"Don't have too much fun when I'm suffering." You said with a fake threatening look and smiled after that and he did as well. You took a few steps back to indicate that you are getting ready to leave.

"Don't have too much fun." He repeated with huge grin. "The motto of your life."

You rolled your eyes at him playfully and left him without saying anything in return. He was right.

As soon as you left the house, you headed towards to the beach, JJ said that's where he was going. You had to took off your heels when they met the sand. You kept hoping he's there waiting but as you got closer the sea, the darkness took over all the lights of the house you left behind. Nevertheless you kept moving into the darkness, you could hear the sound of the waves clearer but there was nothing in sight. You cursed yourself inwardly for trusting someone like JJ to return a favor. You felt so let down and the shoes in your hand was weighting you down or it was the disappointment. You weren't mad at JJ, you were mad at yourself for believing him.

Then, a little ahead of you, two weak ball of light appeared. You blinked few times to understand what it belongs to. It was something on the surface, it must be a boat, you guessed, then you heard a whisper. It was calling your name.

"Y/N?"

You smiled and make your way to the light. "JJ?" You asked as you ran. You were sure you heard him but not able to see him. As soon as he heard you reply, he was ready to poke Pope to turn on all the lights but Pope already took care of it. You saw the boy on the boat, standing in front of the control panel. You knew his name but never talked to him before really. Then you saw JJ waiting for you at the back of the boat. He looked better than before, happy to get out of there safe and sound and meet his friend here.

"I thought you left." You said with a relieved smile on your face you just cannot hide. He put on a similar one and it was the most genuine one you recieved from him all night.

"I thought you changed your mind." He said and extended a hand for you to climb the boat. You took it.

"You wish." As he pulled you and gave you a little smile.

To be continued.

[nyxxhexx]

🔮Mars in Gemini Shufflemancy Readings🔮

Read for your Sun, Moon, Rising, and Mars 🌌

Aries

Fences by Paramore

People might not understand the decisions you'll make this transit, but that's okay as long as you yourself know what you want. Others may try to make an example of you, but what's the point in keeping those people around you if it's killing you every day? You deserve the chance to fight for what you really want. You deserve the chance to love the life you live! So do something crazy and unexpected. Go after what you want. This transit is your chance, so don't let anything hold you back.

Taurus

Daydreaming by Paramore

You want to get out and make your own way in the world - so get out. It's not that simple, and yet it is. Make your dreams a reality. You are allowed to define your own meaning for what home means; you don't have to believe what someone else has told you it must be. You have the power to form your own reality around you rather than letting reality shape you. Make the changes bit by bit - they don't have to be major or all at once, but if you have the ability, you should leap. Your daydreams exist for a reason; bring them to life.

Gemini

Freeze Your Brain by Ryan McCartan and Barrett Wilbert Weed

This transit is a big one for you (for obvious reasons), so don't feel like you have to be present in it all 24/7. If you try to live in the moment nonstop, you'll start to overload yourself. Pull back when you need to; it's okay to take a break from it all. Find distractions, but don't let them take over your life. Know when it's time to return to the real world, or you could get stuck there. Coping mechanisms are a normal part of life so long as they're healthy, so analyze yours: Do they hurt you more than they help you? If so, this transit is a good time to find new ones.

Cancer

Be Alone by Paramore

Are you comfortable with being by yourself? Sit for a second and really ask yourself. Does silence make you uncomfortable, or does it make you feel like you've done something wrong? Like people have trouble being around you? This transit, it's time to rewire that part of your brain. There's nothing wrong with being alone! It doesn't mean you've upset anyone, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you - sometimes people are just busy, and it's time to spend some time with yourself. It can be an important part of self-care, so find the wonderful parts of being by yourself and embrace them! Changing your mindset on the subject will make coping with it so much easier, so put some real work towards it while Mars is in Gemini!

Leo

I HATE EVERYBODY by Halsey

No, you don't, Leo. But during this transit it might feel like it sometimes. You may think it's easier to pretend like your feelings are locked behind glass than to let yourself be vulnerable around people you love, but is the pain you cause yourself in the process worth it? You don't need that person's love to feel worth something, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve love. Let your guard down. Be vulnerable with people. Open yourself up to something new. This insistence on creating your own future is biting back this time, so stop trying to force things and surrender to the universe. Go with the flow for now; you won't find what you're looking for if you keep yourself cut off from your feelings. You won't find self-love in anyone but yourself.

Virgo

The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy

Why are you holding yourself back? Why are you so afraid of what others think of you? You're in your own way, and it's time to get out of that pattern this transit. You are responsible for what happens in your own life to a certain extent. Not everything can be blamed on the world when so much is shaped by the way you react to it. Either resist the urge to run and face things head on, or ghost the situation completely - which one can you stomach more?

Libra

Glow in the Dark by Skylar Grey

You've spent so long trying to keep the peace and make everyone happy, but now it's time to stand out and be your true self. Embrace the aesthetic you've always dreamt of this transit and be who you are without fear of anyone else. It'll be scary at first, and of course you need to stay safe at all costs, but you can't keep putting off being who you need to be forever. Make yourself heard, and don't let anybody minimize you or your worth in any way. You are deserving of every bit of love as your true self, not just as who people want you to be.

Scorpio

Safety Net by Framing Hanley

Rely on other people this transit. It can be just one trusted person if you need, but three is really best. You don't have to deal with everything on your own, so why do you try to? When you're struggling through something, you don't have to do it alone. You are allowed to ask for help, but you'll have to open up to other people to do that. Trust that the pros outweigh the cons - after all, you can still remain mysterious, even if you ask for help. Fall back on others when you need to, then get right back up and keep going. You aren't any weaker just because you let others catch you. On the contrary, vulnerability takes strength; it requires trust that others won't use your weak moments against you. If you don't have it already, this transit will help you start developing it. It might be a shock to your perfectly honed system, but trust that this new evolution in your tactics is for the best. You'll come out the other side stronger, so bear with it for now; you'll be appreciative when it's all over - and you'll be that much closer with the people you can trust.

Sagittarius

Save Myself from Me by New Years Day

You need to get out of your own head before it tears you apart. As this transit opposes your natal placement, the Mars energy will start to become more and more apparent in your life. You're used to freedom, but as we approach a full year in quarantine, it's hard not to feel stifled, like things will never get back to normal. You need to change your perspective and find little ways to get out of your own head each and every day. Find freedom in new (safe) ways, even if it's just driving for a while. You're your own worst enemy as long as you're trapped inside. I promise there's a way out; you just have to find it.

Capricorn

Dancing's Not a Crime by Panic! at the Disco

This transit will be better with a partner in crime - after all, Gemini is the sign of twins. Don't be afraid to assert yourself to make friends! Just make sure you're not too aggressive about it. It's okay to express your interest in people in a straightforward way. You do everything else that way, so what's the difference? If they don't feel the same way about you, friendship, romance, or otherwise, then just move on. It's no skin off your back, and at least now you know! Let yourself feel the passion of this transit, and more than anything else, let yourself enjoy it.