#✶ ( sorry steve she's got all of the trust issues . . . ) ✶

[underoossss]

Head over Heels - S.H

masterlist

pairing: steve harrington x grumpy!f!reader

summary: Steve falls for Robin’s grumpy friend, and he falls hard.

warnings: family problems mention, trust issues, angst, hurt/comfort, no spoilers, (there’s fluff I promise!!!)

grumpy x sunshine trope

an: I know this is the first Steve fic I’ve posted IN FOREVER and I’m sorry! my writer’s block, personal problems, work and health, have all contributed to how long it took me to finish this. But I promise to make it worth your while, this is the same length as babe baby beautiful and I hope it makes you happy. I dedicate this to all my grumpy beloveds out there, who, like me. don’t relate 100% to the sunshine tropes bc sometimes life just freaking sucks. I poured my heart out with this one so, I hope this comforts you and that you like it! Please let me know. 💘

——-

The September breeze pushes Steve’s hair back as he makes his way to the Hawkin’s start-of-autumn fair, a new thing the town is trying out to make the citizens feel more upbeat after all the incidents they’ve experienced. His friends trail after him, Mike and Lucas arguing over something he doesn’t understand, Max listening to Dustin complain about some prank the soccer team played on the Hellfire Club and Robin walking by his side. Everyone shouts food orders over their shoulder, running towards the picnic tables in search for an empty one, and leaving Steve and Robin alone.

His friend is rambling by his side, and Steve nods along to what she’s telling him. She has a new friend this year, met her at homeroom when she was introduced as a new student. A senior like Robin, she got along with her just fine. I talk a lot and she doesn’t, it’s a good fit, I think she really needed a friend that day, Robin says, and now she’s friends with all of us. Steve hums in understanding, switching schools in senior year sounds awful, and he wonders why you chose to do that. He wouldn’t, unless it was for something serious.

“Anyway here she comes!” Robin says excitedly, waving you over. “I can’t believe she actually came, she’s not comfortable with strangers and she doesn’t know you. I thought she’d sit this one out.”

Steve follows Robin’s line of sight and spots you walking towards them in the distance. Baby blue sweater, light washed jeans and black high-top converse, make you stand out from the orange foliage around you. Your face is serious as you get closer, only breaking into a small smile when you wave at Robin and accept her hug. When you step back your face morphs back to neutrality, a slight furrow to your brow as you hide your hands in your back pockets.

Robin says your name and motions towards Steve. “This is Steve, the friend I told you about.” She explains, “He’s our chauffeur, monster-fighter and designated babysitter.”

Steve furrows his brows and looks sideways at Robin before he looks at you and grins. “Hi, nice to meet you.” He offers his hand and you give it one quick shake before pulling back and looking away. Steve wasn’t expecting that reaction, but he guesses what Robin said is true, you don’t like strangers.

“We’re going to get Apple fritters! They have massive ones here and they serve them with big scoops of ice cream.” Robin tells you, glancing down the line as it moves. There are only three people left to order, so the three of you step into line. “Let me check if they’re still doing the ice cream on top.”

With that, Steve is left to wait next to you until Robin is back. You shift from one leg to another, almost nervously and Steve glances at you. Your eyes meet his and then look away, not scared or nervous, just looking away like you can’t be bothered to make conversation with him. Is he intimidating? Steve asks himself or are you just a massive buzzkill that can’t even comment on the weather.

Steve tries again, scratching his cheek. “So, uh, you’re in senior year like Robin?”

You nod, looking down at your feet before looking at him. “Yeah, we have a lot of classes together. I know the guys over there as well.” Your hand lifts to point at Eddie, who’s just arrived at the table, and the kids talking around him.

Huh, so you do speak, Steve notes, but only when prompted. “Cool.” He nods, looking at your face and noticing the way you look away immediately. “So why did you move to Hawkins all of a sudden? I mean senior year, that’s gotta be rough.”

You press your lips together, looking uncomfortable by the question. Steve has the faint idea that he asked the wrong thing. “I should go say hi to everyone.” You say after an awkward cough. “If there’s ice cream can you tell Robin I’m good with cookie dough?”

Steve wordlessly takes the 5 bucks you hand him and sees you rush away from him. In the distance he can see everyone’s faces light up when they spot you, beckoning you over with excited waves, and your reluctant barely there smile as you greet them and sit down. Steve doesn’t get it; he is half mortified and half confused when Robin comes back. How is it that everyone is your friend when you’re so closed off and Steve doesn’t want to say it but… grumpy.

“Are you sure your friend wants to be here?” Steve asks Robin, looking over at you again. You’re sitting with your elbows leaning on the table, listening to everyone talk around you, neutral expression on your face. Bored, even.

“Of course, she does.” Robin is quick to say. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, she doesn’t look too thrilled to be talking to you.” Steve shrugs.

“You clearly don’t know her.” Robin shakes her head. “What did you do?”

“I only asked her about her move to Hawkins.” Steve holds his hands up defensively, then adds. “She said she likes cookie dough ice cream.”  

They pause their conversation to order the fritters and pay, then continue talking while they wait.

“Okay, you shouldn’t have asked that. First of all.” Robin rolls her eyes, “Second of all, she’s friends with all of us.”

Steve huffs in disbelief. “Oh so she likes you? That’s her I like you face.”

“She adores us, you… not really but that’s cause she doesn’t know you.” Robin nods with certainty, then worries her bottom lip. “The move question is just tricky for her.”

Steve moves to say something when their order is called, and she go back to the booth to take the trays laid out in front of them. There are eight apple fritters with ice cream they have to juggle back to the table but manage to fit in their hands and arms.

“Look Steve.” Robin says seriously, lowering her voice after a sigh.” She slows her pace, so they take longer to get back to the table. “She has been through a rough time; I won’t tell you what because it took her a long time to trust me enough to open up.”

“Okay…” Steve nods, going over her words and feeling a soft pang of guilt. He wouldn’t have judged you so harshly if he knew you were struggling with something. He wouldn’t have asked you about you changing towns. “You could’ve told me that before I messed up earlier. Before I was bitchy too.”

“You’re always bitchy.” Robin huffs, then hums when she looks at you sitting in the distance. “She’s wonderful Steve, in her own way, so don’t judge her by the way she presents herself. When she trusts you, you’ll see what I‘m talking about.” She gives him a pointed look.  

Robin’s words echo in his head as they reach the picnic table and hand over the food to their friends. Steve places yours in front of you with a nod to which you say thank you. Now that he knows a little more about you, Steve guesses you were both left with a bad first impression. They aren’t his forte, and it’s not his fault you weren’t the same person with him as you are with Robin. You don’t know each other, of course it was going to be awkward. Steve sees what Robin means as everyone chats and eats; he sees it in the way your eyes soften, and lips smile slightly when Max begins to tell you something. He sees it in the way you lean closer to the redhead and whisper something that has her laughing soon after; you smile as well before turning your attention back to the group. Dustin and Eddie are planning some sort of revenge on the jocks from the soccer team who messed up something in their Hellfire Room.

Steve tries to focus on what they’re saying but he’s too busy looking at you, trying to figure you out. What happened? What’s the thing that you told Robin that made you keep the gentleness you showed to Max tucked away? You feel him looking at you and meet his eyes, it’s a distrustful glance from the way you narrow your eyes at him. Okay, Steve probably stared at you too long. He looks away and hears you sigh before you do too, tuning back into the conversation between the Hellfire club sitting at the other end of the picnic table.

“That’s a horrible plan.” You say plainly, making Max snort and Eddie pause the conversation. The metalhead rolls his eyes –no annoyance, no malice in sight. Steve supposes Eddie knows you like Robin does.

“Why is that, buttercup?” Eddie asks.

“They’ll know it was you, and they’ll beat you up, Munson.” You tell him seriously with an eye roll of your own –Steve doesn’t need to know you to catch the concern in your tone. “Put some laxatives in their protein powders instead.”

Steve lets out a bark of laughter that startles the table; that would be a good prank if he’s being honest. Everyone turns to look at him, including you and Steve clears his throat. “It’s a good idea.” He mumbles rubbing his chin, then meets your eyes briefly to find something like amusement in them.

“No, no, no.” Dustin shakes his head. “It is an objectively good plan, there’s no way they’ll know it’s us.”

“Yeah, we’ll wait for them to leave and then sneak into the locker room.” Eddie adds. “We’ll seal their lockers shut, they can’t change into their gear the next day and their coach yells their ears off.”

“The perfect plan.” Dustin says proudly and looks around the take to see who agrees.

“You sure they won’t be able to trace the prank back to you? See it as immediate revenge for what they did?” Max asks nodding towards you, “She’s right.”

“We’re absolutely sure.” Eddie confirms with a nod, clapping his hands in front of him.

“Can I read the eulogy at your funeral then?” You ask Eddie and Dustin with fake enthusiasm. “I call dibs.”

Steve chuckles and next to him, Robin fakes discontent as she rolls her eyes. “Damn, I wanted to do it.”

You send a smile her way before you clear your throat. “Eddie and Dustin died as they lived.” Your words are solemn as you speak. “With bad plans and too much confidence that they’ll work.”

“They always work.” Eddie says, chuckling at your words with everyone else. You simply raise one eyebrow at him, which Steve must admit is hot, and Eddie shakes his head. “I guess they sort of work.”

“So, laxatives?” Dustin asks Eddie after a minute, a defeated hunch to his shoulders.

“Laxatives.” Eddie and the rest of Hellfire repeats before the table bursts into laughter– including Steve.

His eyes don’t leave you though. You’re not laughing like everyone else but there’s a small smile on your face. It is reserved but softens your face in the loveliest way. It shows him you are enjoying their company despite the otherwise inexpressive look on your face. Steve begins to wonder then�� if he wins your trust, the one you have with Robin and Max, will you smile at him the same way you do with them? Bright and beautiful enough to blind him? He guesses it would be worth a shot, getting to know you more, because if he’s being honest, he’s intrigued.

--------

The next time Steve sees you it’s at a party. It’s mid-October and the cold weather turns it up a notch with the cold bite to the air. He wouldn’t have gone to the party in the first place, if he’s being honest, but Robin forced him to go. Everyone will be there she’d said but Steve didn’t know who everyone would be. Only when he arrived at Kevin Rotner’s house did he begin to recognize some familiar faces. Nancy, Johnathan, and Eddie arrive at the same time he does and the five of them walk up the driveway and the small path leading to the front porch. There’s loud chatter inside and a boombox playing to the loudest volume in the dinning room. There are people sitting in the staircase laughing at a joke and more loud conversation coming from the backyard. He navigates the house with his friends until Robin spots you in the kitchen, and Steve doesn’t know why he’s so nervous when he sees you. You greet Robin with a hug and shrug when she tells you something, he can hear. Your face is pretty and serious as you look over Robin’s shoulder, spotting everyone else coming to say hi. Steve sees you take a deep breath before you greet everyone — almost as if you’re preparing yourself for small talk and hugs. He greets you last, more open and approachable than last time, and he’s surprised when you wave. “Hi, Steve.”

Something inside Steve jumps, but he thinks it’s only his own surprise. He’s about to say something, when Robin and Nancy take your hand and drag you away with the promise of some new gossip, they have to tell you.

Steve talks to a few people here and there; mostly the ones he’s kept in touch with after high school. Other than that, he doesn’t know anyone else; he doesn’t know if it’s cause he’s grown up but he’s not really having fun. There are people jumping into the pool despite the weather while those who mind the cold have gathered inside the house. Steve’s mostly avoiding the crowds, where the air is too hot despite winter being near, while keeping an eye out for his friends. Nancy and Jonathan are talking to some people he doesn’t know in the kitchen, Robin is trying not to combust while she talks to her crush —her lab partner in biology— and Eddie is walking around the entire party with his lunchbox.

When Steve sees you again, you are people watching in the living room, eyes trained on a few people in the middle of the room. He moves to stand next to you, and you shift your gaze towards him but say nothing; Steve thinks it means it’s okay if you stand here. Your foot taps to the music –Tears for Fears’ Head Over Heels –and your head moves almost imperceptibly to the music. The two of you are quiet for a while, and it’s not awkward like Steve expected it to be, not after the way he messed up at the fair. He’s pleasantly surprised, and relaxes a bit more next to you, slouching slightly against the wall. One of your arms is crossed over your chest while your other elbow rests on it, a red cup in your hand. The music continues to play and your eyes are still trained on the people talking in the living room, they’re some old Hawkins High students Steve kind of recognizes. There’s Angela and Karen, Bradley and Peter and some other people he doesn’t know the names of. Steve leans his weigh on his right leg, which brings him closer to you.

You don’t move away, simply pass him your red cup. Steve moves to shake his head no and say he’s driving, but you speak up before he does. “It’s only soda.” You say and nod at the cup that Steve takes the cup from you shortly after.

“What’re you watching?” Steve asks.

“The only interesting thing that’s going to happen in this party I think.” You look at him finally and lean closer, Steve isn’t sure you’re aware of it. “I think there’s going to be a fight.”

Your eyes hold amusement in them, like you’re excited for what’s about to happen. The tiniest movement of your mouth has Steve glancing down, you’re grinning, barely; he thinks it’s cute.

Steve’s eyebrows raise, interest spiked, and is about to say something when you turn your head again. Bradley is saying something to Angela, his voice loud and slurred but incomprehensible over the music, and not a second later an equally intoxicated Peter swings a punch at him. Another girl, who Steve doesn’t know, confronts Angela they start arguing with Karen joining the fight. Bradley and Peter fall to the ground, wrestling each other while others try to break the fight.

“Wait isn’t she?” Steve’s mind catches up the everything that happened puts two and two together. He’s pretty Angela is dating Bradley, not Peter.

“Yup.” You say with a shrug, tilting your head. “It was all a matter of time before it happened.” It’s all you say, then chuckle. Steve does too, he can’t help himself at the sound of your own laughter, until the two of you are giggling at the fight in front of you.

The music changes then, to something more upbeat, and Steve’s mind can only think about asking you to dance. Would you say yes? Probably not. Before he can ask you though, you step away from the wall. More people have gathered in the living room to watch the fight, and you decide to make your way to the front door. Do crowds bother you? Steve wonders.

“Wait.” Steve goes after you and closes the door behind him. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” Your back is turned to him. The cream-coloured sweater you wear over your lilac skirt and your black boots look lovely on you, and so does your hair. Steve doesn’t know why but he thinks it frames your face perfectly. There’s also a hint of remaining lip-gloss on your lips that shines with the streetlamp’s light… and Steve, well Steve thinks You’re so pretty.

“It’s cold, don’t tell me you’re going to walk.” Steve speaks again, shaking away his previous thoughts.

You shrug, “I usually do, it’s not too far.”

Steve doesn’t know where you live but he knows Rotner lives far away from almost everyone in Hawkins. Your house is probably far away. “I’ll drive you.”  Steve offers, but you sigh and look away.

“Go back to the party Steve, you can drive Robin home.” You say simply. “I’ll see you around.”

“No, she can go with Nancy.” He follows you until he’s walking next to you. “It’s not safe for you to walk home, come on.”

You sigh again and look up at the sky, annoyed. If you’re annoyed, then he’s too, because you’re making a dumb decision for the sake of being stubborn. And you probably don’t know that he’s stubborn too, so you might have to argue all night about whether this decision is right or not. Why is it so hard for you to accept a ride home? You offered him soda and were talking to him just now; it was nice. More than nice.

“I won't stop asking.” Steve says, crossing his arms and stepping in front of you.

Your eyes meet his in an intense half-glare, and Steve can’t help but think how nice your eyeliner looks on you. It does something to him he hasn’t felt in a while. He feels like he can’t breathe while heat creeps up the back of his neck —it’s October, he shouldn’t feel hot at all. A moment later you roll your eyes, though backing down first, and giving Steve some time to breathe as you turn around.

“Alright.”

Steve can’t help smiling in triumph, knowing he just won, and follows you as you walk towards his car further down the road. Amusement paints his eyes as he looks at you; your lips are pursed, and a huff escapes you.

 “You’re pouting” Steve says, looking at your lips and the annoyed look on your face. It makes him smile. You’re pouting.

“I’m not” You look sideways at him.  

“Oh, you are.”

“Shut up, Harrington.” You say and he laughs, opening the passenger’s door for you.

-------

From then on Steve does his best to increase his charm and be a gentleman. He offers you his help as well as rides home whenever he can, especially when you’re alone. The last thing he wants is for you to think that he’s only being nice when your common friends are around. Steve sees you more often now, not as much as he’d like, he must admit, but enough to know more about you. What you’re okay with sharing, more like.  

As he suspected from the party, you don’t like crowds (they make you nervous), and when Steve asked why you’d changed the topic. You work at the Deli on Main Street, have a younger brother named Chris, and you love coffee. He always sees you drinking one in the morning when he gives both you and Robin a ride to school, and whenever he stops by at the deli for lunch during your shift. Most important of all, Steve is starting to see what Robin meant when she said not to judge a book based on its cover. Because, despite your grumpy exterior, there’s a whole personality hidden underneath.

Steve can tell. There are hints and pieces; from the way you dress, to the music you like, and comic books you read and often exchange with Max. When he takes the time to look, he sees the gentleness with which you do things, and the care with which you treat your friends. He also sees your distrust for what it is: fear. You’re afraid, to let new people in, to get hurt, and Steve doesn’t know why.  

He wishes there was something he could do to fix it, to make you see the glass half full instead of half empty, or to change your sporadic pessimism.  But then he figures, he would be changing you, and that’s not something he wants. If he’s being honest, your friend group (Steve isn’t sure if he’s your friend, officially at least) needed someone with an objective outlook on life to set their heads straight. And if he’s honest with himself, he likes all the things that make you you. He likes your confidence when you don’t care what people think about you. He likes it when you fight with Robin over who chooses the music, despite it being his car. And he's pretty much obsessed with your face; the hard set of your jaw when you get impatient, the brow you silently arch that makes him feel things he shouldn’t, and the silent way you listen to conversation, only speaking up when you think it’s necessary. Steve is more than a bit obsessed.

He had been wrong that first day. He didn’t know you and wrongly assumed you weren’t happy to be there with them, when you actually were. He reflects upon it now that he knows your facial expressions; your eyebrows had been relaxed, and your eyes didn’t have a hard edge to them. You had been at ease, only closing yourself off when Steve tried to dig into your move to Hawkins. He really started off with the wrong foot, but it all takes a turn on a Friday night.

You visit FV for a tape mid-afternoon, surprising Steve at work. The weather is more than chilly outside, and Steve notices right away how you have no jacket on, only a dark red sweater. He’d been doing some paperwork behind the counter when the bell over the door for his attention. It rewarded him with the sight of you walking in, looking around before your eyes settle on him.

“Hey, Steve.” You say voice light as you approach him and lean your elbows on the counter. “Do you have karate kid available? My brother is begging us to watch it again tomorrow.”

Steve doesn’t know why but he struggles to speak for a moment —it probably has to do with the fact that you look very pretty, and two, this interaction is so different from your first one he shortcircuits. After a long pause you raise a questioning eyebrow, “You okay?”

Steve clears his throat. “Yeah. Um, we have it, let me go get it.”

“Thank you.” You nod as he dashes away from the counter.

“Did you walk here?” Steve asks once he’s cleared his head and reaches the action movie aisle. He sees you shrug over the stands.

“I usually do, I don’t mind it.” You explain simply.

“You’re not wearing a jacket though.” Steve grabs Karate Kid and goes back to the counter. Why are you always out in the cold without a jacket? It’s a miracle you haven’t fallen sick, he thinks.

“I left school in a rush, I was gonna be late for work.” You shrug again, eyes visibly lighting up when you spot the movie. “Thank God. Chris would have been insufferable if someone beat me to it.”

Steve crouches down behind the counter and retrieves his own jacket —a grey bomber— before placing it on the counter in front of you. “Here.”

“Steve,” You tell him seriously, rolling your eyes. “I’m not taking your jacket.”

“Why not? You’re the one walking out in the cold, I only have to walk towards my car.” He dismisses your refusal with a wave of his hand.

“Hey!” Robin says, calling your name as she emerges from the back room. “Perfect timing, I was going to call you.”

“Here to rent karate kid.” You tell her, a small smile on your face.

“And choosing hypothermia over my jacket.”  Steve chimes in, sliding his jacket pointedly towards you.

“It’s not that cold Steve.” You roll your eyes at him again, “But I know you’ll annoy me until I say yes.”

Steve gives you a triumphant smile and you shake your head, Steve would even say it’s shyly, before you take the jacket and shrug it on. “The movie? Please.”

Robin speaks up while Steve rings you up. “We’re gonna hang out at Nancy’s tonight. The kids will be there too, you should come.”

Steve risks a glance at you, in his jacket; a huge mistake. He seriously underestimated his reaction to seeing you in his clothes, because it is downright adorable and something he was unprepared for. The sleeves go past your hands and the whole thing is oversized on you, his shoulders being broader than yours and his torso longer. Steve bites back a smile —he hopes you never give it back to him; this is a sight he’d love to see more often.  He turns back to the computer to hide his grin from you and silently hopes you’ll say yes.

“Will there be other people?” You ask Robin, and Steve is quick to shake his head no and reassure you. Too quick.

“Just the usual gang.” Steve tells you, clearing his throat to hide his eagerness. “No one else.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Robin insists with a smile, then moves her gaze towards Steve, who tries to ignore the way she raises a knowing eyebrow at him. He’s gonna have an earful once you leave, he can bet on it.  

“Okay, I’ll be there.” You nod, then exchange some cash for the movie Steve hands to you. “Thank you, Steve.”

Steve leans his forearms on the counter, trying to give you his most charming smile to see if he’ll get one of those you give Robin in return. “We’ll pick you up after work.” Steve says and you look into his eyes for a long second before nodding.

“Sure.” You shrug, eyes shifting away from his. “I’ll see you guys later.”

------

At Nancy’s, chaos ensues. The kids argue over what board-game to play while Eddie and Robin argue over what record to play next. Steve is listening to Nancy and Jonathan talk about a volunteering drive she’s organizing and from where he stands, he can see you leaning against the wall next to Robin. Your face is neutral as you listen to the record that’s currently playing, tuning out Eddie’s argument for the most part until you speak up.

“Or you can let me choose?” You ask calmly, glancing at them briefly before going back to looking down at your feet.

“No!” Both Eddie and Robin say at the same time, and Steve notices the corner of your mouth twitch upwards.

“You chose this one, buttercup.” Eddie says with a sigh. “You’re only gonna choose one to annoy us.”

This earns Eddie an eye roll. “How exactly do you know that?” You ask. “It could’ve been a great pick, now you’ll never know Munson.”

Steve tries to tune back into Nancy’s explanation when Max pushes the board game she wanted to play away with a huff. It clatters to the ground as she stands from her place in front of the coffee table. You spot her and call her name only a moment later.  

“Hey Max, I got the new Wonder Woman!” You say after a moment when the read-head stops glaring daggers at the boys. 

Her eyes light up, a dramatic change from the look in her eyes moments ago. “Really? Can I see it?”

“‘Course, I brought it for you.” You roll your eyes, this time full of fondness, and nod towards the kitchen. “It’s in my bag.”

 Steve can’t follow your conversation because the doorbell rings, signalling the pizza Nancy ordered arrived. The weather feels much colder than earlier as he opens the door and steps outside, he pays for the pizza, tips the delivery guy and goes back inside. Arms full of pizza boxes, he walks back to the dining table, shooting a pointed look at Dustin and Mike. “Zip it or you don’t get a single slice.”

The high schoolers move more discarded boardgames away from the table in a heartbeat, scrambling to undo their mess and opening the pizza boxes in a hurry. Steve spots you still standing in the kitchen talking to Max as everyone helps themselves to pizza and decides to let you both know the food is ready.

“So, you skate too?” Max is asking you excitedly, leaning her hip against the kitchen counter.

You chuckle — it hits Steve in the chest and Steve doesn’t know what to do with that. “I do,” You grin, “I mean I used to when I lived in Indianapolis, but I haven’t since I moved here.”

“We can go to the skate-park tomorrow.” Max proposes raising her eyebrows, “If you want.”

You nod, “Sure. I’ll look for my skateboard tonight, let’s hope I still remember how to use it.”

“Pizza’s here.” Steve says, interrupting and smiling at you both. When your eyes meet his, your lips move to smile but in a matter of seconds you stop yourself.

It makes Steve furrow his brows and walk over to you as Max leaves to grab a slice. “You okay?” Steve asks, and your eyes meet his again briefly before they dart away as you sidestep him.

You make your way to the front door in a rush, this time though you do grab your jacket—his jacket— on the way. Just like he did the night of the party, Steve follows you, worried and confused at your reaction. Robin glances at him from the dining table, an unspoken question in her eyes but Steve can only shrug. He is certain he didn’t do anything wrong just now, but somehow, he messed up because you just fled from him.

“Stop.” Steve says after calling your name. “What happened?”

“Nothing, I just need some air. You should go back inside Steve.” Your back is to him, shoulders tense and close to your ears defensively.

“No,” He shakes his head. His lips go down into a frown briefly as he looks at your back. He voices the question he always asks himself when you shut him down. “Did I do something?”

“No.” You say when you turn, eyebrows meeting in the middle as you glare at him but Steve sees the way you struggle to hold it in place. After a second it falls, and your face just crumples to exhausted look. “I want to be alone.” You whisper.

 “You think a glare and a pout are intimidating enough to drive me away?” Steve shakes his head.

“I don’t pout.” You say, lips pursed and jaw tense. Pouting.

“You do and it’s not working.”  

You change tactics then, raising an eyebrow and staring him down like the night at the party but Steve shakes his head. “That’s not working either.”

“Why are you insisting so much on this!” You finally ask, raising your voice and crossing your arms in front of you. Your jaw clenches as you look away and Steve sees your eyes squeeze shut.

He runs a hand down his face and breathes out. “Whether you like it or not there are people who want to get to know you.”

“What, like you?” Your eyes cut a suspicious look Steve’s way and he can see your walls come back up right in front of him. A tear falls down your cheek and you’re quick to wipe it away, harshly. “Why?”

Steve throws his hands up in the air, exasperated but not raising his voice, “To be your friend! Just like Robin and Eddie are your friends.” His shoulders move up and down, trying to cover up how much he likes you and looks forward to your company. “Why are you so distrustful, is it something I did?”

“It’s not about you, Steve.” Your eyebrows meet in the middle again, and you look away from him, directing your gaze to the snow-covered lawn. “If… If it bothers you so much, why do you even want to be my friend? Because you’re wrong Steve. No one else does, and I’m more than fine with that.”

Steve shakes his head, knowing you’re lying to him and trying to convince yourself. His voice softens. “Because despite it, I like you, I think you’re��� cool.”

“Cool?” The way you raise your eyebrows makes Steve chuckle.

Funny, caring, fucking beautiful, Steve wants to say but he just nods his head at your question.

“Yeah, and you’re interesting, and I… want to be your friend.” Steve’s hands settle on his hips as he shifts his weigh to one leg, looking down to the ground. Glancing at you briefly, he drops his voice to whisper your name. “Don’t leave. I’m not lying… that’s what worries you right?”

Steve assumes that’s where your distrust comes from; you told him it wasn’t something he did, then it must be that you’re scared to trust him. He’s known there are many feelings behind your hard exterior, one of them being fear. Steve doesn’t want you to fear him, and he wonders who broke your trust in the past. Silence settles between the two of you; you seem to be going over his words and Steve is giving you the time to do so. He’d wait an hour if necessary and reassure you a thousand times if it would mean you believe him. Steve panics when he sees you swallow hard and shift your eyes at the sky, the last thing he wanted to do was make you cry.

But you don’t cry. Instead, you take a deep breath and look into his eyes. There’s a vulnerability there that awakens an urge in Steve to hug you. “You promise?” Your voice is a whisper, but he hears you clear as day. You’ve never spoken so softly before, and Steve wishes it could have happened under other circumstances.

Steve looks into your eyes and nods with sincerity, hoping you can see he’s being completely honest with you. “Yes.”

“I do like you, Steve. You just scare me.” You look down at the ground for a moment and nod to yourself as Steve’s eyebrows shoot hop in surprise. A moment later, your eyes drift back to Steve and there are emotions dancing around in them he’s never seen before. “I’m sorry.”

Steve nods and something inside him tightens when you offer a small smile. It’s like something shifts between the two of you despite neither of you moving. In a matter of seconds, everything feels easy, natural, like the brief moment your shared at the party in October. Steve realizes it’s because you’ve let your guard down; you stand differently in front of him, more comfortable, less apprehensive. You scare me. “You wanna tell me why?”

You press your lips together and shake your head. “Another time, maybe?”

Steve tries to hold back a smile, but he can’t, it takes over his entire face. When he sees you shiver, he offers his hand. “Let’s go back inside, or I can drive you home if you want to leave.”

“I can stay a bit longer.” You say when you grab his hand –an electric shock goes up his arm. “I really want some pizza. But if they play Monopoly I’m definitely leaving.”

Steve’s laughter follows you as he leads the two of you back to the house.

--

The coffee cup Steve places in front of you at work the next Monday lands with a soft thud on the counter. It’s black coffee with some milk and sugar; the way Steve’s learned you take it every day. The sound and his presence make you look up at him over the top of your book, a doubtful eyebrow raised and a serious look on your face. Fuck your pretty, Steve thinks. Your eyes shift from the coffee to his face a couple of times before you close your book.

“What’s this?” You ask, leaning back on your seat and tilting your head.

Steve leans his elbows on the counter in front of you and tilts his head right back. “Considering you drink around 5 of these a day, one would think you’ll know what it is.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re mistaken. I actually drink 10.” You deadpan, looking at him with fake disappointment. “I thought you knew me, now that we’re friends and all.”

Steve laughs, looks down and shakes his head. When he looks at you again, there’s a half smile on your face. “Come on.” He says. “Let’s go grab some food.”

“I literally work at a deli, Steve.” You tell Steve seriously, motioning to your surroundings. “We’re surrounded by food.”

Steve copies what you just said with a roll of his eyes and smiles again. “I mean something else, babe. Come on.”

With a sigh you stand up from your seat and round the counter, leaving your apron behind. “You’re lucky I get a break in a couple of minutes.” You tell Steve before yelling over your shoulder. “Hank I’ll be back!”

Steve’s eyes light up and he considers his visit a triumph. He’s becoming surer and surer his feelings for you go beyond friendship and fondness and lean more towards: I want to hold your hand all the time, and cuddle you while we watch movies then forget about the movie and get lost on you. He wants to put his arm around your shoulder freely, have you lean your weigh against him and steal a kiss, probably more than one. No. It won’t ever happen so Steve shouldn’t even be thinking about it. He opens the passenger’s door to his car for you and smiles when you get in, your coffee in your hand.

It becomes a routine of sorts, either you visit him at Family Video bringing sandwiches for him and Robin or he picks you up, a coffee waiting for you in his car and drives you wherever feels right that day to eat your lunch. You talk about your day, or whatever gossip you heard that day. One day you even confessed to be scared about graduation.

“Everyone is so excited to finish school, and here I am so terrified about the future I haven’t opened any of my college application letters.” You muttered, picking at a loose thread on your sweater.

“Why are you scared?” Steve asked you and you swallow hard.

You turned your body on your seat, facing him as you shrugged. “I feel lost, I don’t know what I should major in. I also don’t know where I’d like to go, and I can't even research these colleges without panic settling on my chest.” Your eyebrows furrowed and your jaw got tense and Steve knew that meant you felt angry and this time it was at yourself.

Steve took your hand without a second thought, but you let him. “You know, you don’t have to figure it all out right now.”

“It feels like it.” You whispered looking at him, frustration and embarrassment shining in your eyes.  “Everyone else has it figured out.”

Steve shook his head; you shouldn’t feel embarrassed with him. “If there’s something I’ve learned about you, is that you don’t care about what other people are doing. What do you want?”

“I ask myself that question every day.” You mirrored his head shake and looked away. “Let’s talk about something else. Please?”

Steve was happy to change the subject, anything to cheer you up. By the time you go back to the Deli to continue your shift, he realized it was the first personal thing you’ve told him. Ever. It made him happier than he cared to admit.

-----

Two months after your talk in Nancy’s driveway, you invite Robin, Nancy, Eddie, Jonathan and Steve to your house. It’s the first time you’ve let anyone other than Robin into your home, this time for movie night. Your father and brother went back to Indianapolis to pick up other stuff from your old house, you said, it’s perfect timing. Steve and Robin arrive together, and shortly afterwards Eddie’s knocking on the door.

 Your house is cozy and simply decorated with a forest green comfy looking couch, a dark brown coffee table and a TV in the living room and all the basic stuff in both the dining room and kitchen.  There’s a record playing somewhere, and Steve can’t help the smile that comes to his face when he sees the way you’re mouthing the words as you move back and for the between the kitchen and living room bringing snacks, drinks and pizza for everyone. You’re wearing a cream-coloured sweater he recognizes from the party back in October and something funny happens in his stomach when he realizes just how far your friendship’s evolved since then.

“Babe come on take a break, we can help.” Steve stops you from going back to the kitchen with a hand on your shoulder and a fond look on his face.

You open your mouth to say something when Eddie and Robin appear on either side of you, presenting the movies they –surprisingly– were in charge to pick. “The best horror movies.” They say in unison.

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise as you take the three VHS tapes from them. “Oh. Um, great! Thank you.” Your reaction hides behind the grin you shoot both, who nod and disappear to the kitchen.

“You’re pouting.” Steve says stepping closer to you again in the living room; your eyes that were fixed on the VHS tapes drift upwards to meet his own. Steve smiles.

“I’m not pouting.” You tell him with a roll of your eyes, lips settling back into a pout as you scan the titles of the movies once more. “These are just scary.”

“You’re still pouting.” Steve whispers, like it’s a secret. His eyes drift down to your lips, a mistake that has him swallowing hard, before the doorbell rings, signalling Johnathan and Nancy arrived. He’s quick to turn and go let them in. It’s a perfectly timed distraction. He shouldn’t think about kissing you, because despite no matter how badly he wants to, you’d never let it happen, or feel the same way he does to let it happen.  “Just saying!”

Once the first movie plays, Eddie and Robin settle on one end of the couch, while Nancy and Johnathan sit on the floor in front of them. Steve shoots Robin a I know what you’re doing look before sitting next to her and feeling the couch dip under your weigh when you settle on the empty seat next to him. A sweet floral scent he now recognizes as your shampoo or your perfume reaches him and Steve actively decides to focus on the movie, not the way he wants to pull you over his lap and breathe you in. Eddie and Robin laugh every now and then and the four of you turn to look at them, there’s nothing funny about the movie. You begin covering your face with the bucket of popcorn as the movie progresses, your face grimacing as the suspenseful music picks up.

Steve leans closer to you, his voice a whisper as he speaks. “It’s just special effects don’t worry about it.” You turn to look at him, worried puppy dog eyes gazing into him and dammit you make it so hard to keep his distance. “Trust me.” Steve winks, lightening the mood only to jump and scream when he turns to the movie once more and a jump scare comes on.

It seems like the perfect medicine for your fear. For you forget about it and lean your head back laughing, a full-on belly laugh, that’s so contagious and beautiful Steve laughs with you. Nancy and Robin share a knowing look he doesn’t notice before they shush the two of you, shoving at his elbow and your knee. You cover your mouth with your hand and your shoulders shake as you lean your head on Steve’s shoulder, turning your body towards his; Steve’s never been so happy to be scared in his life.

Everyone leaves after 3 movies. Robin gets a ride with Eddie, and Nancy leaves with Jonathan as well. Steve though, stays behind insisting on helping you clean up, but it’s a weak excuse to check on you before he leaves. He noticed you getting nervous, fidgeting with your hands anxiously when everyone started to leave. The films were long done, so Steve knows something else is worrying you and it doesn’t sit well in his heart to leave you like this. Which is why he is currently picking up trash in the living room while you do the same in the kitchen.

You’re finishing placing the dirty dishes in the sink when Steve enters the room. He noticed right away the way your shoulders hunch and you take a deep breath. “Steve…”

“You okay?” Steve closes the trash bag and moves to the sink. His eyes roam your face as he looks sideways at you and washes his hands.

“I um… I wanted to apologize to you.” You tell him quietly, passing him a kitchen towel before moving away from the sink. “For how closed-off I was when you met me.”

After drying his hands quickly, Steve turns and leans on the edge of the sink. “It’s okay, it’s not easy to trust new people right away.” He reassures you –it’s something he understands now; he understands you.

You sit on the counter opposite to him and stare at the floor for a bit, polka dot sock clad feet dangling in the air. “It’s more than that. I’m just scared of getting close to people since…”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Steve shakes his head, keeping his eyes on your face.

“I trust you, Steve.”

Those four words make Steve’s chest flutter –relief, happiness, nerves– but he pushes the feeling to the back of his mind and patiently waits for you to continue. Your lips are pursed as you stare at the floor, gathering your thoughts.

“My mom…” You swallow, getting chocked up with those to words but soldiering on. With a shake of your head, you look up to the ceiling and will your tears away. “My mom left my dad, brother and I last April. She’d been cheating on dad for years… and that’s not even the worst part.”

You wipe your eyes quickly, lips pulled downwards into a deep frown when you pause again –an upside-down U Steve wishes he could smooth out with his thumb. But he stays where he stands and lets you continue.

“The other man was married too” Your eyes find Steve’s and where there’s usually a spark –like that night at the party– there’s only sadness directed at the memory. “He’s the father of a popular kid at my old high school, so you can guess what happened when everyone found out.”

Steve’s mouths opens again and this time a soft no escapes him.

You press your lips together and nod, “So not only did the news wreck our home… they made life at school unbearable for my brother and I. People who I thought were my friends just threw me away as if I was trash for something I didn’t do. Something I had no fault in.”

“Is that why you moved here?” Steve asks softly, walking closer to you. The answer to the question he asked many months ago, right in front of him and it doesn’t make him feel any satisfaction. No, it hurts him to know this. Moving away from everything you’ve known and starting over again during senior year sounds brutal.

“Yes.” You whisper and close your eyes briefly; more tears fall down your cheeks and Steve’s heart aches. Teary eyes move away from his and fix themselves on the kitchen window instead, your lips are pressed so hard against each other they’re losing colour. “She packed her bags right after school the day we found out. We saw her leave with that man, no other explanation, not even a goodbye or a note. Everyone except my dad and my brother decided to leave me that day.”

A sob escapes you then, finally breaking free and shaking your whole body; another one replaces it once it stops. Your hands move from the counter to your face, covering it as cries continue to escape you in succession. Steve wastes no time and walks to stand in front of you; he hates seeing you in so much pain. God, it must have hurt so much, just being left behind like that. His hands move to your hips and gently urge you to hop off the counter before he wraps you up in his arms. His shoulders shake with the force of your sobs as you cling to him.

“Stevie.” Your hands are bunched up in the back of his polo, holding onto him like a lifeline.

Steve can’t even relish the sound of your calling him Stevie so softly. He swallows hard as he witnesses the pain, you have felt inside of you for so long. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers.

“She left us, Steve. She just disappeared and left us grieving her despite her being alive.” You say between your tears, they soak the right side of his shirt, but Steve couldn’t care less, his arms just tighten around your waist. “She’d been pushing us away for years, treating us like garbage and now I can see it’s because we weren’t good enough for her anymore. She didn’t love any of us anymore. We… we didn’t make her happy.”

Your voice sounds hoarse from crying, and your hands tighten behind Steve’s back. When you bury your face in his chest, Steve hunches his shoulders and forms a cocoon to protect you from the past. His protective nature takes over as he holds you flush against him; his hand moves up and down your back firmly –you need to know he’s there, that he’s got you. Steve puts his cheek over your head and whispers his next words. “I’ve got you; you can cry as much as you need to, I’m not going anywhere.”

It takes a few minutes, but your sobs soon transform into soft sniffles even as you press yourself closer to him. Steve doesn’t want to upset you anymore, but he’s itching to comfort you and let you know what he wishes someone had told him years ago. “I know my own shit experience with my parents isn’t the same as what you went through.” He starts, taking a small step back so he can look at you.

His fingers take a gentle hold of your face until puffy and teary eyes meet his; Steve wipes away some stray tears. “But what your mom did to you doesn’t say anything about you alright? You’re more than good enough for anyone. If she didn’t see that, then she made the worst mistake of her life.”

You close your eyes at his words and look away, but Steve shakes his head and urges you to face him again with a whisper of your name. “You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone because your mother left. All of us see it, and we’re so lucky to have you here.”

Steve’s thumb catches more tears as your lips begins to tremble again. “I’m so fucking lucky that you trust me, and I understand why you didn’t at first, okay? I understand you.”

Your hands on his waist tighten again as your forehead drops to his right shoulder. “I didn’t used to be like this… I’m sorry that this is the me that you met.”

Steve shakes his head, sure that you feel it when he does, and pulls you flush to his chest again. Is this how you’ve felt since last summer? He wonders. Like this version of yourself is wrong or unlikable.

Sure, you’re not a smiley person, but that makes your rare smiles even more special –and they drive Steve crazy. You see the glass half-empty most times to protect yourself if things do indeed go to shit, but you also recognize genuine goodness. You don’t hesitate to encourage or celebrate everyone else’s happiness; he’s seen it firsthand, with the kids, with Robin and even himself. Steve doesn’t think he could ever get tired of your dark humour or that pretty pout that settles on your lips when you get annoyed, not to mention that making you laugh is his favorite thing in the world. Steve understands your anxiety and panic at your college decision, you don’t want another change; you don’t want to choose something you don’t like and face another disappointment again. Most of all, Steve finally understands your hesitance and the root of your gruff exterior, and he wouldn’t change a thing about it. He’s stupid in love with you; your grumpy and soft looks; your frowns and your smiles; your heart; and that tender way you’re holding onto him right now.

Steve places a kiss to the side of your head to keep himself from saying all of this out loud –it’s not the right time, not yet. Instead, he whispers above your ear, “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

For a moment, stillness surrounds the two of you in the kitchen and there’s no other sound but your quiet sniffles against Steve’s shirt again. Steve doesn’t mind, he’s happy to hold you for as long as you need, which ends up being five more minutes. You take a step back and look at him with those pretty eyes of yours; they’re teary and red-rimmed but lovely all the same.

“Thank you, Steve.” You whisper, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips until your gaze drops to his shirt and embarrassment shines in your eyes. “Sorry I cried all over you.”

“I don’t mind.” Steve shrugs and looks at you softly, hands still on your waist. “I think I know what we should do.”

You look at him curiously. “About what?”

“To cheer you up.”

The head shake you give him is immediate, just as he imagined. “I don’t–”

“You deserve a happy life.” Steve states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and sends a wink your way hoping to amuse you. “And I think, ice cream is a good way to start. I should know, I worked at an ice cream shop remember.”

He leaves your side and walks over to the freezer to grab the ice cream he saw earlier that night when he got up mid-movie to get more ice. It’s cookie dough ice cream, which he knows to be your favourite –he’s known since that first night he met you. Knowing he’s completely serious now, your eyes stare into his eyes for a moment before you turn and grab two spoons from a kitchen drawer.

“I guess we’re having ice cream then. Considering you’re an expert.” You say with an eye roll Steve can only describe as fond when you approach him again. A moment later, you sit on the counter and Steve follows suit, sitting next to you. “Spoon?”

“Thank you.” Steve says and takes it from you after opening the ice cream tub. He offers the tub to you first, letting you scoop some ice cream with your spoon which you pop in your mouth. Your arms brush from how close you’re sitting, and Steve has to lean forward to look at you, but he doesn’t mind. He’s happy with the proximity.

A sigh escapes you and you close your eyes as you savour the ice cream. Steve feels heat creep up the back of his neck at the sound, but he shakes the feeling off; you’re only eating ice cream, to make you feel better. “You were right Harrington, this is like medicine.”

“Told you, I’m an expert.” Steve chuckles and eats his own spoonful, the creamy ice cream melting in his tongue before he laughs as you search for the cookie dough in the tub. “This is going to be just plain vanilla ice cream if you keep doing that.”

“Finders keepers.” You tell him with a shrug as you bring the cookie dough to your mouth. “It’s arguably the best part of this ice cream.”

“You’re supposed to eat the ice cream with it!” Steve argues, holding the tub away from your reach. “I want cookie dough too you know.”

You roll your eyes at him, but there’s a soft look on your face as you look at him and nod. The two of you go back to eating ice cream in silence until Steve speaks up again. There are so many things he wants to know about you still –he thinks he’ll always want to know more. “What’s something you miss from living in Indianapolis?”

You pause mid-scoop and concentrate for a few moments going over his question. A moment later a tiny smile makes its way to your lips. “There used to be a wonderful campsite my dad used to take my brother and I; we’d camp for three days and do all sort of activities.”

Steve smiles. “Like what?”

“Dad and Chris love fishing, so we’d do that. There was also hiking, swimming, s’mores. Oh! We’d all tell each other stories sitting next to the fire. They were all completely made up of course, and I think the more ridiculous they were, the more fun we had.”

Your eyes wander around the kitchen, like you’re back in the forest with your family and not next to Steve anymore. Light dances in your eyes and Steve can almost picture the three of you laughing around the fire as the catch of the day roasts on a grill nearby. He knows better than to ask about your mother, he’s got a pretty good idea what the answer would be. Besides, you’ve cried enough already, so much that Steve’s own heart feels bruised from seeing you in pain.

“You haven’t camped here in Hawkins?” Steve asks after a minute, voice quiet to avoid disturbing your memory.

You shake your head and sigh, the mirage in front of you disappearing as your eyes drift back to Steve’s. “Dad’s not the same person he was during those camping trips… he hasn’t scouted a good place for us to go. I don’t think he even wants to go camping anymore.”

Steve puts the ice cream tub on the counter and takes your hand instead. “Maybe we could go camping someday, invite everyone, have fun…”

Your head moves to rest on his shoulder, the dizzying smell of your shampoo and perfume reaching Steve’s nose at the proximity. He leans his cheek on top of your head and feels the faint nod you give him. “Maybe.”

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you, your hand still in Steve’s grasp. Until he gives it a squeeze that makes you jump, as if you forgot you were holding hands in the first place. Steve chuckles. “What?”

Your head leaves his shoulder in an instant and for a second Steve is sure you’re going to hide behind your walls again, like you did so many months ago. His fear though, is replaced with concern when you hop off the counter and check the time with a frown.

“Babe come on, what’s going on?” He hops off the counter and stands in front of you. His eyes search yours until finally your gaze meets his, your embarrassment clear in them.

“I just hate being home alone at night. It makes me anxious.” Your hands fidget in front of you, as if you’re waiting for Steve to laugh at you. Oh, so that’s why you were nervous earlier. “I can’t sleep. At all.”

He looks down at his watch and sees that it’s midnight already. “I don’t mind staying over.” Bringing his eyes back to yours, he speaks up again. “Would that make you feel better?”

You close your eyes and let out a shaky exhale before you nod. “A lot better.” When your eyes open again, they’re full of gratefulness and surprise, as if Steve wouldn’t do anything for you.

 A smile grows on Steve’s face, and he takes your hand before you can thank him, threading your fingers together as he speaks. “Come on, you’re probably tired.”

Steve, however, is everything but tired. His heart is racing at the thought of spending the night here with you. You’ve never spent so much time together in a day, he’s never seen your bedroom, and there’s something about this impromptu sleepover that makes heat creep up the back of his neck. No. He’s here to give you emotional support; you were so anxious earlier and there’s nothing he wants more than to see you happy and comfortable. If staying here, despite it sending his feelings into a frenzy, is the key for you to rest then so be it. He can stay for one night.

You don’t let go of his hand as you lead him upstairs, passing various pictures of you and your family that hang from the wall opposite the handrail. There are three bedrooms upstairs and yours is the last one down the hall, its view towards the backyard. You open the door a moment later and let go of his hand as you step inside. Now that he’s here, Steve remembers neither of you made sure the doors were locked downstairs. He should do that.

“I’m going to take a shower.” You tell him as you walk towards your dresser.

Steve nods and swallows hard, using the excuse of your safety to be downstairs while that happens. “We forgot to lock everything downstairs. I’ll go do that.”

“Oh, right.” You press your palm to your forehead; Steve can see you reprimand yourself. “Thank you, Steve.”

“No problem.” Steve is quick to shake his head as he takes a step back from the room. “I’ll be right back.”

Once Steve is back downstairs, he makes sure to check the windows and lock the front door. He fiddles with the light switches for a while before he finds the right ones and turns the lights off. The whole process takes him less than five minutes, and the shower is still running when he’s back in your room. With a deep breath he finally looks around, gazing through a metaphorical window into your world, which he surprisingly already knew a lot of. The pastel walls make him smile, and he walks along the furthermost wall where various posters have been hung –all bands and singers Robin and you have played in his car. There’s a small vanity by the closet next to the bathroom, full of tiny bottles and a couple of lip-gloss tubes. Steve also spots a purple bottle of perfume on top, and a grin makes its way to his face –that’s the one that drives him crazy, he’s sure of it. He’s about to move closer and look at the pictures you’ve pasted in the vanity’s mirror, but he’s startled to a stop when you speak.

“I left a shirt for you to sleep in, if you want it.” You say and Steve turns around.

His heart summersaults when he sees you, fresh dewy face, hair out of your face, an oversized grey t-shirt with a pink Queen logo on the front and pink cotton sleeping pants. The overhead light of the bathroom makes a small rectangle in the carpeted floor, and some steam from your shower still circles around behind you. It takes all Steve’s self-control to stay where he is and not walk up to you and pull you into his arms; no tears between you this time, just Steve holding you the way he wishes he could all the time. He looks at the t-shirt you left on your bed to distract himself and laughs when he notices the colour.

“How’d you guess I love pink?” Steve asks you, glancing your way as he walks towards the bed and holds up the t-shirt. It’s very oversized like yours, and it has a black and fuchsia print of Blondie’s lead singer on it.

“Dunno, just thought it would suit you.” you chuckle, and Steve sees you hold back a smile as you point towards the bathroom. “There’s a spare toothbrush on the sink.”

Steve nods and hurries to the bathroom, lest you notice him blushing. He finds the toothbrush instantly and proceeds to brush his teeth, and though he doesn’t know why, Steve feels extremely happy to know both of you use the same toothpaste. He glances around and looks at all the details that are entirely yours around the room. There are some facial creams on a shelf next to the mirror, a vanilla scented hand soap on the sink, and a look towards the shower shows him two purple and pink shampoo and conditioner bottles –the ones that make your hair smell like flowers. Steve rinses his mouth, then takes off his sweater and jeans before he puts on the pink t-shirt you gave him and, like a freak, smells it to find that somehow your scent still lingers in the soft cotton.

If he was panicking before, he’s panicking even more now. He’s obsessed with you, he realizes, stupidly head over the heels and all of this is making it worse; lying on a bed next to you will make it so much worse. He’s got to pull himself together. He’s doing this because of fear of being home alone, that’s all. He can sleep alongside you for a night without making a fool of himself –or worse, accidentally confess his feelings. So, pushing all bed related thoughts to the back of his mind, he walks out of the bathroom to find you already under your duvet in bed.

 Not letting himself think too much about it, Steve turns off the lamp on your nightstand and slips under the duvet too. He keeps his body still, tense more accurately, as he lies next to you. That is until you turn to face him, and he immediately does too, like a magnet naturally attracted to you.

“Do you ever fear that you’ll wake up one day and everyone you know will be gone?” you whisper in the dark; your voice is almost silent, but Steve hears you loud and clear with how close he is to you. The minty smell of your toothpaste mingles with his own breath. Is this how things are going to be between you now, deep conversations and secrets you only trust to each other? He really hopes so.

Steve shakes his head, trying to make out your face in the dark as his heart constricts in his chest. “No,” he says just as quietly, “But sometimes I’m afraid that something terrible will happen and I won’t be able to help.”

Steve closes his eyes and exhales through his nose as he voices one of his fears for the first time. He’s sure that everything that happened in the Upside Down that they managed to fix was thanks to the brains in his friend group. Steve is all physical strength, which has proved useful in the past, but against monsters or whatever the hell could come next, he’s not sure it will be enough. The thought of being useless like that and everyone suffering because of it terrifies him. Even more now that you’re a part of said friend group. He’s sure of one thing though, he’d protect you and all his friends no matter what.

Your hand slowly moves to his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “Knowing you, Steve, I’m a thousand percent sure you’d find a way to help. Your stubbornness can be a good thing.”

A breathy chuckle leaves him as your words punch the air out of him. He’s silent for a moment, scrambling for something reassuring to say back. Words aren’t his forte, not unless he’s flirting. He’d rather pull you close to him and comfort you that way, the way he did in the kitchen. “You know… if we were to disappear for whatever reason, you can bet I’d fight my way to you. You won’t be alone.”

Steve sees you nod your head in the dark, his only sign that you haven’t fallen asleep yet. Your hand goes back to your side, in front of his before you stifle a yawn. Assuming your eyes are tired from all their crying, Steve moves his hand to cup your cheek gently.

“Go to sleep, you need to rest.” He whispers; he wants to give you more comfort, pull you close and rub your back until you fall asleep. He doesn’t because he can’t, that would make things weird.

“Thank you for staying with me.” You whisper back.

Remaining silent to avoid saying something that’d give away just how deep his feelings for you run, or the fact that the opportunity to be lying here next to you is something he should be thankful for, he only rubs his thumb softly on your cheek once more before letting go. With another yawn you turn around, your back facing Steve as you whisper goodnight.

Steve doesn’t know when he falls asleep, but he knows he sleeps more peacefully than he has in a while. Not that he doesn’t sleep well often, but most days his dreamless sleep is a result of the exhaustion of the day and not peacefulness. Last night though, there were no nightmares, no tossing and turning, just a distant dream of a campfire in the woods, fireflies, and a silhouette standing peacefully by the water. At some point, early in the morning, he finds himself waking to the light sneaking into the room from a small gap in the tulle curtains. His eyes that were too sleepy to open, blink awake at the awareness that you’re in his arms. Lovely floral scent and cozy softness pressed to him.

It seems that during the night, you’d shifted to your side and burrowed yourself on his chest, an arm around his waist and leg thrown over his hip. His left arm is around you, settled between your shoulder blades, holding you to him. He lifts it and checks his watch, barely 6am but Steve knows he should go. The last thing he wants is your father getting back home and finding him in your bed. Steve doesn’t know him and that’s not the first impression he’s looking for. Besides, there’s a pressing problem in his briefs, that has appeared from being tangled up with you, that he needs to hide in his jeans before you notice. Shifting his hips way from you he looks down at your sleeping face, brushing hair away from your face before he whispers your name.

“Hmm,” You frown, eyes still closed. “What?”

“You’re a cuddler,” Steve says as he smiles; it’s something that should surprise him, but it doesn’t. Not at all.

“I’m not.” You mumble and, contradicting yourself, press closer to him.   

“Yes, you are.” He chuckles, shifting his hips backwards again. “I have to go.”

You frown but move away from him, turning and facing away. “Why?”

Steve slips from bed and puts his jeans back on, adjust himself, before pulling his sweater over his head and on top of the pink t-shirt. Call him a lovestruck fool, but he’s not giving it back. “I don’t know when your dad’s gonna be back, I don’t want him to find a boy he doesn’t know in your bed.”

You chuckle, then yawn as you shift and sit up in bed. Steve stares at you longer than he should. His eyes take in your messy hair and your still puffy eyes from all your crying the night before. He smiles widely.

“I have drool on my face, don’t I?” You sigh, moving the back of your hand to the corner of your mouth.

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “No, you don’t; you look pretty that’s all.”

His words reward him with an eyeroll and a headshake before you stand up. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

You remain silent as the two of you walk side by side all the way down to the front door. Steve takes his car keys, and you move to open the door, but pause after a moment. Steve’s eyes look into yours as he wonders if there’s something wrong but when your eyes shift up to him, a small smile settles on your lips. Next thing Steve knows, your arms go around him in a hug.

He can’t help but sigh at the feeling and leaning his cheek on top of your head. “You okay?”

You nod and look up at him. “Thank you, Steve.” You say, stepping on the tip of your toes and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t thank me.” Steve smiles, letting his arms fall to his sides as his heart skips several beats. “Wanna get a coffee later?”

Is he bribing you with caffeine just to see you again? Of course, he is. Steve is charming, and he has a lot of work to do if he wants to make a move soon.

“Only if I get to pay.” You raise an eyebrow but smile nonetheless, that rare big smile he loves.

Steve huffs and opens the door. “Sure, babe.” He says though he knows you don’t believe him.

He walks to his car when you nod –heart pounding– and smiles as he drives away. Your figure on the rear-view mirror watches him leave until he turns at the end of the driveway. Steve leans his elbow on the door, his hand settling over his mouth as he thinks about the events of last night and this morning. Hope fills his chest, and Steve feels like this is the beginning of something really good for both of you.

 ---

There’s a small shift in your dynamic after that late night conversation in your kitchen. It’s like almost as if it brought you both closer: like a barrier breaking between you and Steve. Steve knows he should take it slow, that he should better conceal his feelings to avoid scaring you off. But another part of Steve wants to throw caution to the wind because there’s been a change in you too. I trust you, Steve, you’d said, and it shows. In the way you sit closer to him, how you give away more pieces of your past and yourself when you talk. There’s less apprehension and more curiosity from both of you and Steve can’t help but fall and fall and fall. He only hopes it doesn’t end up with him crashing down painfully.

The two of you make a new habit of visiting a small the café on the weekends; you sitting sideways on the couch and Steve talking nonsense to make you laugh. It starts the day after the sleepover, and the two of you use it as time to catch up on the events of the week. It delights him; every Saturday, he wants nothing more than to lean close and kiss your smile, the one he never thought he’d be at the receiving end of. You have bad days too, days in which Steve knows you’ve been crying, days where all you want to do is sit in silence with him. Steve doesn’t mind, at all, in fact he loves all your mood equally and now that he knows the backstory of what you went through, he offers you the quiet reassurance of his presence next to you, so you know you’re not alone.

Weeks pass like this, until winter leaves and spring comes. Overnight, the breeze has no bite to it anymore, the flowers bloom again and you begin to wear the prettiest floral dresses that give Steve a whole new reason to be obsessed with you.

“You two are adorable; when are you going to tell her, dingus?”

Steve and Robin had stopped by the Deli to get something to eat during their lunch break while you were on your lunch break too. The three of you had spent the 30 minutes talking between bites of your own sandwiches until the moment Steve had to drive away and you had to go back to your shift. He hears Robins words but his eyes follow your retreating figure until you’re out of sight –his mind is begging him to find you and steal a kiss just so he doesn’t go crazy. Robin snaps her fingers in front of his face and laughs when Steve startles. He rolls his eyes and gets in the car while Robin asks him the same question again.

Steve rolls his eyes again, “Tell her what?”

“That you’re obsessed with her dummy!” Robin hits his arm, Steve sends her an annoyed look, “You love her come on, you have to tell her.”

“No, I can’t.” He’s been thinking about it more often now. Keeping it to himself has been almost impossible lately and he knows he should do it before he breaks.

“Yes, you can, and you have to.” Robin asserts, setting her converse on the dashboard. “She clearly feels the same way.”

“She doesn’t.” Steve’s answer is instant as he focuses on the road and getting back to FV, his fingers gripping the steering wheel so hard they turn white. It’s a half-lie, and they both know it.

“She does and you know it.” Out of the corner of his eye he sees Robin shake her head.  “The way she looks at you Steve… it’s unbearable to watch, coming from her.”

Steve knows it, he’s seen that change. He’s felt the pitter patter of his heart, the way his hands shake when you look at him like that, like he’s all you want. But Steve is a coward in denial, he doesn’t want to assume wrong and send you running away from him. But if Robin’s seen it… “You really think so?” He says as he parks his car and Robin nods enthusiastically.

“Duh!”

He nods to himself, “Okay... I can tell her tonight. We are hanging out at my place anyway.”

“I’ll make myself scarce, just say the word and I’ll disappear.” When Steve nods Robin cheers, opening the passenger door and stepping outside. “Don’t mess it up, Steve.”

“I’ll try.” Steve grips the steering wheel, trying to calm himself down.

Steve doesn’t get a chance to though, for that afternoon with greying clouds in the sky you show up at Family Video as soon as your shift at the Deli ends. Steve is about to go to the back and finish some inventory he has procrastinated all week when he sees you pacing in front of his car, arms crossed over your chest. His heart soars, then fills with dread –somethings wrong. He knows it right away which is why he rounds the counter and rushes outside in a heartbeat.

“Babe, what’re you doing here?” Steve says as soon as he opens the door. “It’s gonna rain come on, let’s go inside.”

But you shake your head and look at him with a look he can’t name. It’s a sad look, and it makes Steve panic; he panics even more when he sees your eyes are teary and red-rimmed. “Did something happen? At work or at home?”

“I love you.” You say, at the same time thunder cracks in the distance. Your trembling lips press together when Steve’s move to smile, and your headshake makes Steve pause. “But I don’t think we should see each other again.”

“What?” Steve’s question is a whisper, almost lost to another booming thunder. “Why would you say that? Did I do something?”

“No, Steve.” You sigh, voice shaky, looking everywhere but his eyes. Steve knows this tell though; you don’t want to be caught in a lie. “We just don’t fit–”

“No.” He says simply, shaking his head as he interrupts you. This is that night in the Wheeler’s driveway all over again, you trying to shut everyone out. His hands still shake slightly though, at your confession, your words afterwards, at the idea of losing you.

“Steve it won’t work.” You tell him, it cracks halfway with feeling, and you swallow hard before repeating yourself. “It would never work.”

“Yes it will, it’s us.” Steve tells you, shaking his head. He remembers how far you’ve come, how close the two of you have gotten. He should’ve have known it would scare you, after what happened with your family. “Of course it will! It has worked for months.”

“It won’t! It won’t work regardless of our feelings. Because I’m me! And you’re you –you’ll get sick of me and then leave. And it’ll hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced.” You tell him, shaking your head and looking at him with reddening eyes. Both your arms are crossed over your chest, as if you’re physically protecting your heart from feeling what if feels for him. I love you, you said. Around you, the sky begins to open, bathing both of you with big droplets of water. “I told you before, you scare me because I’ve never felt this way before.”

Steve tries to take a step closer, but you take a step back; it makes him groan in frustration. “You can’t make that decision for me! How can you think I’d just leave you?”

“Because the person who I thought never would, LEFT.” You yell, eyes brimming with tears that roll down your cheeks. They mix with the raindrops that fall on both of you and Steve’s heart aches.

“Then she didn’t love you enough, not the way you deserve.” Steve places his hands on his hips, looking at the wet concrete underneath his shoes. His eyebrows meet in the middle as he swallows hard. He can’t put into words how angry it makes him that someone hurt you so much, that you’re scared of being happy again. “I thought you trusted me.”

“I do.” You tell him, hands falling to your sides. Your voice is so quiet that the rain falling around you almost drowns it out. “You know I do.”

“Then let me love you!” You’re stunned into silence by Steve’s words, confessed loudly in an outburst as he brings his hands to his hair. He meets your eyes and feels his own tear up; he really doesn’t want to lose you. “Let me prove to you that I love you like crazy, baby. Because I do, you have no idea how much.”

Your eyes squeeze shut and Steve knows you can see all of his feelings reflected on his face. “I don’t want to be heartbroken again Steve! Can’t you see you’re sunshine, and I–”

“Don’t say that.” He whispers and steps closer to you, holding both of your hands. The way you cling to them sparks a fire in his heart, keeps his hope alive. “I told you I wouldn’t change a thing about you, that I’d fight my way to you.”

You try to let go of him, but Steve only pulls you closer even as you look away from him, lip trembling. “You know my issues, especially after what happened last year.”

“I do know them, and I’m telling you now that I don’t plan on ever letting you go. This isn’t just a fling, and you know it.” His hands go to your face, holding it gently and looking into your eyes. Those beautiful eyes he’s seen tear up, the ones that crinkle in the corners when you laugh and turn steely when you’re mad. He wants to look at them forever.

You close them, bracing yourself, as the sky continues to fall all around you. Big drops of water hitting your skin and soaking your clothes every second that passes. “Even if I have bad days, or get exasperated with you, or I’m a grump?”

Steve smiles and shakes his head. If only you knew. “I love it when you’re a grump, I want to kiss your pout so badly every time.”

“I don’t pout,” You roll your eyes, but Steve can see you’re trying to hide your fear. He’s learned every little detail about you to memory, this is you trying to build a wall. Well then, Steve knows how to break them down.

“I promise,” Steve says, like he did that November night you fought outside in the cold. His nose brushes against yours as tenderly as he can, rainwater sliding down between your faces –his breath catches on his throat. “I love everything about you, everything baby, trust me. It’s you and me, that won’t change.”

You nod, trust shining in your eyes as a teary smile makes its way to your face when you let it free. It knocks the air out of Steve’s lungs. “Stevie, I love you.”

 He leans his forehead against yours, happy beyond words and because he’s not good with them he says, “I really want to kiss you.”

“Then kiss me,” You urge him.

Steve leans down, holding your face in his hands and lingering close as he braces himself for this; this moment he’s wished for so many times. He smiles, and thinks finally, before leaning in and kissing you. A noise dies in the back of his throat, his chest feels full of helium and his mind reels at the everything he’s feeling. It’s even better than he dreamed it would be. Your lips soft against his, your hands in his hair, the sigh that escapes you when one of his arms wraps around your waist and presses you flush against him. His skin is buzzing, his fingertips are tingling. So he kisses you until you’re both dizzy, brushing his tongue against yours, matching your intensity head-on. Everything is intoxicating, the sweet scent of your perfume, the softness under his hands, the way your face feels like it’s on fire as his hand remains cupping your cheek. Steve is so in love he could faint, so he breathes you in as he kisses your cheek, your jaw, your neck and just below your ear until the two of you pull back. Soaked in rain, without a care in the world.

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend?” You ask him softly, stepping impossibly closer to him.

Steve smiles proudly, heart soaring. “Yes it does, I’m yours.”

“I want to kiss you again.” You confess after a minute, blinking away that raindrops that have gathered in your eyelashes and smiling at him. “But I’m cold.”

 Steve laughs when you frown and pulls you closer to him. “Yeah, we should probably get out of the rain.”

----

thank you for reading! reblogs are really appreciated and so is any feedback 💖

(I also wrote this tiny insight to grumpy reader’s feelings here )

[luveline]

Steve zombie au with reader getting hurt at the new camp (like always) and Eddie offering support as a friend but Steve gets all jealous while trying to take care of HIS girl

for you my love ♡ steve zombie au —steve is riddled with guilty jealousy as you and eddie become friends. fem!reader 2k

It's a brave new world.

For starters, there are enough guns at camp and able bodied gunmen for fires in the daytime. There are warm meals eaten under the sun, songs sung quietly but nonetheless sung around the fire. There are happy children. There are books to be read to them, and batteries to power flashlights for story time under the stars. 

Things aren't perfect, but after the tragedy of The College, things are good enough. Steve can bring himself to leave your side (though not for the first few days where he's bed bound, and not for a few more after that). 

He can't lie, he hates that you like Eddie so much. His jealousy is a raging monster of stiff spines and dry eye twitches, insecurity that you've met someone new and that you trust them so quickly. 

You were cagey at The College, scared of Steve's friends and petrified Steve was going to break up with you. He couldn't understand at the time how you would ever think such a thing, but now, with Eddie sitting by your knee and a piece of string between his fingers weaving a cat's cradle, your eyes alight with delight, Steve gets it. He totally gets it. 

"It's not hard," Eddie promises you, letting the string fall from his fingers and into your lap. 

"I don't have a complicated brain," you say. 

"It's not rocket science. Even Steve can do it." 

Steve picks an overcooked Lima bean up from his discarded dinner tray and aims to flick it between Eddie's eyes. You're gathered around the campfire in your cold weather coats, a procession of young (ish) adults knee to knee chatting away the worthless hours. When the Lima bean smacks Eddie in the cheek, Steve could pin it on any number of the people gathered. Christopher is a renowned professional when it comes to bothering people, and Jonathan has that older brother's penchant for being irksome, but Steve owns up to it. 

"That's a touchdown." 

Eddie gives him the finger as he instructs you, completely unbothered. "It's those two fingers– No– Yeah, you got it. And then push this finger under this, and this finger… Nice." 

In another life, there's a Steve who doesn't care. He hasn't had to vy for your attention before besides sharing your friendship with Robin, and he's pathetically sorry about it —you should have friends. Steve thinks unabashed that you're the best person they ever made. All you want (all you've ever wanted) is to be loved and to give love back. He's known that about you for a very long time. And in his eyes you deserve what you want. 

You deserve to have friends. He can share Robin, and you can have friends of your own, too. You can have everything. 

Steve can't get a handle on how it's making him feel, is the issue. He's envious as a teenager with their first crush. 

"You honestly just need to practise," Eddie assures you, laying back in the grass with his arms behind his head. 

"You'll have to show me again." 

You stay sitting and Eddie shows you the pattern again without sitting up. You aren't flirting with one another. Steve wonders if that would feel better, to be jealous of something substantial, but you're doing normal things. Eddie is treating you with exactly the kindness and friendship you deserve. Steve wishes he managed it himself when you first met, because you're his best love and his best friend. 

Robin not included. (Robin is always included. Steve would die for her.) 

Like she can sense his devotion, Robin puts a hand on his shoulder, pulling his weight gently to the left. "You'll burn a hole in his leather jacket." 

"I hope he catches on fire." 

"What are you so worried about? She had plenty of chances to leave you for somebody new. Jonathan's been nothing but sweet to her the entire time they've known one another and she barely notices." 

Steve grimaces. "Jonathan likes her too?" 

"He wants to be her friend, just like Eddie. I, on the other hand, want to marry her." 

"Funny." Steve yanks grass up from its roots, the blades soft and cold between his fingers. There's an ice patch growing on his ass and thighs from the cold as the temperature drops. "It's fucking cold." 

"You can move closer. I need to go and find Sarah for a bit. Don't burn your new kicks, Steve, they were a great trade." 

Robin swapped a useless handgun for them to the resident portable blacksmith. Steve wriggles his toes in them gratefully. 

Steve and the remaining group move closer to the fire slowly. When the sky is black and smooth as velvet dotted only by stars like pin holes, Will comes running with a miraculous bag of marshmallows, trailed by his ragtag group of friends; Dustin with his fraying hat, Lucas, and a teenaged boy named Peter. 

Steve couldn't believe Lucas was alive at first. Eddie told the story to him when he was recovering in the shitty portable medbay. You'd been sleeping in the plastic chair by Steve's bed, your face pressed to his chest, a puddle of drool soaking into his t-shirt. He'd stroked your forehead for hours. 

Eddie and a whole bunch of Hellfire members didn't quite manage the escape rendezvous orchestrated by Hopper at the start of the apocalypse. You and Steve must have just missed them when they set out in Eddie's van for safety. The story goes that Eddie's shit with directions, and while he managed to get to Michigan eventually, it was hard. They met up with a group of much older people who were able to take some of the weight off, eventually finding a group of military soldiers who'd been drafted to protect a politician's family. Their group kept growing and growing. While they never set up camp somewhere permanent, they've kept it together. If Eddie's group (or moving community) had managed to make it to The College, Steve thinks they might have survived the attack.  

But you're together now. Hawkinites reunited, Hopper alive and well and nursing new plans. 

"Hopper give those to you?" Christopher asks Will. 

"How's that fair?" Eddie asks. "Family favouritism." 

"I have to share them," Will says. 

"Oh, well. Never mind. Accusation renounced." 

The teens kidnap Eddie and run off to find sticks for marshmallow roasting. You turn to Steve with a smile that makes him feel worse rather than better, so subtly devoted. 

"How's your arm?" you ask, leaning into his shoulder. 

"Aches." 

"Can I have a look?" you ask. 

Steve offers his arm with no qualms. You fight to push back the sleeve of his coat and jacket. His wound is closed and healing nicely, but the infection must've been in his muscle or something because the ache won't go away. It feels as though he's done a hundred pull ups with one arm alone. 

You don't touch anywhere near the site. 

"I think it's looking better." You thumb over one of his little moles. "Pretty." 

"You're pretty." 

"You're prettier," you say, folding his sleeves down again with infinite care. He thinks you might be batting your lashes at him. That, or he's whipped to the point of delusion. "You feel okay, hm? You're mopey tonight. Do you want to go sleep?" 

Steve shakes his head vehemently. "And miss marshmallows? No way." 

You both notice that your question of mood went unanswered. Luckily for him, you dip down to rub your cheek against his sleeve. "Love you." 

He loves you too. He says it under his breath, pressing his cheek to your head for as long as you're willing to stay there. 

"Y/N-kins, Steven," Eddie says, returning with a handful of long branches covered in foliage. "I have a job for you." 

You pull leaves off of the branches. It should be an easy job with the three of you sitting criss cross applesauce yanking the twigs naked excitedly, but you pull with too much enthusiasm and stab the meat of your thumb. 

You hiss and look down. Your noise draws Eddie and Steve's attention in tandem, Eddie closest to the injured hand. 

"Oh, shit," Eddie says, pulling his sleeve over his hand. He presses it to your skin as a surprisingly fat rivulet of blood springs and drips down to your wrist. "Here, don't get it on your clean coat." 

Steve doesn't know why he does it. He isn't proud. But he thinks, That's my girl. Eddie's being friendly, and Steve knows that's all it is, but he can't stop himself from batting Eddie's hand away and moving in protectively. 

"Cop a feel somewhere else, Munson," he bites. 

"Steve!" you say, laughing. 

Eddie rolls his eyes, sitting back in his spot with a laugh of his own. "Ridiculous. I wouldn't cop a feel ever 'cos I respect women–" 

"Nice," you say. 

"And if I were trying to flirt with her, Harrington, I'd definitely do it better. But as you both know my heart is promised to someone very important. I'm busy keeping the memory of metal alive, I don't have time for stealing girlfriends. Not that you're not worth stealing, Y/N." 

Steve dabs your hand. You wink at Eddie playfully. "You keep her alive, Eddie. Are you gonna play some more rock songs for us tonight?" 

"Duh." 

"How do you manage to hurt yourself every single day?" Steve asks, distracted from the conversation by your cut. It can't be a quarter of an inch long but it's bleeding in a rush. 

"See how it got faster when you came to save me?" you ask Steve. His heart drops, but you continue, "My heart gets faster when you're close. My blood pressure rises." 

Steve tries not to show how pleased he feels at the compliment. You tap his elbow knowingly. 

Steve assesses your cut. It stops bleeding just as soon as he leaves it alone and the kids arrive with their marshmallows, putting an end to Steve's makeshift medbay. 

Someone puts a couple more logs on the fire to get it roaring now that night is creeping in. Steve insists on roasting a marshmallow for you. 

"I have one working hand left," you protest. 

"And knowing your luck, you'll burn it." 

"I'd never control you like that," Eddie says, deadpan.

Steve stabs Eddie with a stick that's lightly smouldering at the tip. You tell Steve off, but when he presents you with a roasted marshmallow for eating you give him the world's greatest thank you kiss. Another after you've eaten it, your lips sticky with sugar. 

"Do you want mine?" Steve asks. 

You wrap your arm around his waist for a lopsided hug. "No. Don't ask me again though, I might say yes." 

"Do you want mine? Seriously, honey–" 

"I'll have it," Eddie says with a shit-eating smile, eyes trained on the fire where he toasts his own marshmallow. 

You wave your hand at him. "No, you won't." You lift your chin to kiss his cheek. "It's yours. Don't let it burn, handsome." 

Alright, Steve might have jumped the gun on the whole jealousy thing. 

[imtryingbuck]

You Promised

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Summary: Steve and reader have an argument and Sharon’s there to cause trouble

Word count: 1,178

Warnings: Steve’s a dumdum, mentions of cheating, Sharon-ew. very very terrible writing. Ending is…well it’s terrible

Masterlist

Waking up in his old room at the tower, the memories of last night’s argument hit full force. Steve groaned as he sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he knew how right she was. He knew he had to fix things between them. He understands that she’s worried about him, he does. He just hates how it feels like he has to choose his job or her, because he truly doesn’t know which he would pick. His girlfriend who he loves or his job that he loves.

They’d been arguing ever since he came home with fresh cuts on his face.

“Steve all I’m asking is for you to take some time off from doing missions please!” She stood there with tears filling her eyes.

“It’s my job”

“I know and I’m not asking you to quit, I would never ask you to do that but at least do what Bucky does and take some days off, even if it’s just a few days every month! Please Steve”

“I can’t Y/n you need to understand!”

“I understand why you do what you do but you can’t keep doing every single day-“

“Don’t be dramatic it’s not every day!”

“It is Steve. You’re never home-“

“It’s my job Y/n!” He screamed at her.

“One, stop cutting me off! And two don’t scream at me again Steven. You nearly didn’t come home from the last mission, you nearly died” A sob broke past the barrier of her lips.

He was about to say something but then his phone started to ring “I need to take this Y/n it’s Sharon, why are you rolling your eyes?”

“Are you cheating on me with her?”

“W-what? Don’t be stupid!”

“Yes or no simple answer Steve”

“…No I’m not cheating on you”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you’ve got trust issues I’m not like your ex who cheated on you every single chance he got!” His voiced was raised higher than before. He didn’t even bat an eye when she flinched at the mention of her ex. He didn’t let her respond instead he answered his phone.

“Yeah I’m on my way doll, alright, you too, of course I mean it” looking at his girlfriend “I’ve got to go”

“Y-you called her- you are cheating on me with her, I fucking knew it I just didn’t want to believe it”

“What?”

“Just go. Your girlfriends waiting for you”

“I’ll be home soon. Bye”.

Only problem was being that he never went home that night. He berated himself mentioning her ex, he didn’t even try and correct her when she called Sharon his girlfriend. He hated himself for shouting at her, not once in the three years they’ve been dating has he ever so much as raised his voice at her. Searching for his phone which was normally on his bedside table when the bathroom door came open.

“Oh you’re awake, just needed a quick shower” Sharon says as she stands there with just a towel covering her naked body, her wet hair leaving droplets on the laminate flooring.

“Yeah that fine, I guess. Have you seen my phone?”

“On the dresser, I put it there after I spoke to Y/n. She was quite rude if you ask me”

“Wait, you spoke to her?” And the realisation that she showered in his bathroom “Why was you using my shower?”

“Yeah I told her you was still sleeping and she put the phone down on me”

“Okay but why are you using my shower?”

“Mines not working” shrugging her shoulders “hey can I borrow a shirt please?”

“No. Get out”

“What?”

“Get out of my room Sharon.”

“Alright mr grumpy pants”

Just as the door closed he jumped out of the bed going straight for his phone. Ringing Y/n and not getting any response he grabbed his jacket from the back the chair and headed straight out the door to head home.

His heart stopped at the sight of Y/n packing all her things.

“B-baby what are you doing?”

“I’m leaving”

“No baby stop” every time she turned around to grab more things he was taking the things that was already in suitcase, out. “Y/n I’m sorry for not coming home last night the paper, baby please stop! The paperwork took me ages to get through. I ended up crashing in my old room”

“I told you I can’t go through being lied to and cheated on again, I told you and what did you do huh? You promised me Steve that you would never do that to me. You promised” The tears wouldn’t stop falling no matter how hard she tried to stop them.

“Doll I have never cheated on you, baby please believe me”

“Sharon told me Steve so just stop”

“Told you what? Y/n I’m not cheating on you please believe me!”

“That you two having been sleeping together for weeks. Move out of my way”

That, that made him stop. He wouldn’t lie if you asked him if he had a bit of a crush on Sharon when he first met her six years ago, but it faded away after a few months. When he met Y/n he didn’t think much of her then over the course of a few months he developed feelings for her, it took him over a year to confess his feelings for her.

Because of a lie that Sharon told now he was losing everything.

“Bab-baby she’s lying, I have never even so as much as kissed her! Y/n please please listen to me love”

“Why would she lie?”

“I don’t know but she is! Y/n, baby please I swear to you I have never even looked at another woman! I don’t want anyone that isn’t you”

“Why would she lie though Steve? Why was she in your room this morning? I rang you too apologise and to my surprise it’s her that answers, the she tells.. she told me Steve”.

“I-I don’t know. I really don’t. I was asleep and she came into my room and used my shower, I don’t know why she did but doll nothing has ever happened between me and her I swear!” He shakes his head “Y/n I love you, and I’m sorry for the argument last night. I’m sorry for earlier but doll I swear I’ve never cheated on you.”

“You’re telling the truth, oh God, Steve I’m so sorry I’m sorry I’’m sor-“

“Baby it’s okay! Stop apologising it’s okay, come here I’ve got you” Holding her tightly to his chest he repeats the words over and over.

~A month later~

“Baby, come on Buck and Sam’s here”

“I’m coming hold on!”

He sees her coming out of their bedroom and he can’t help but smile at her, as she got closer towards him he took her hand into his “I love you do you know that?”

“I love you too”

Sharon ended up transferring. Steve listened to Y/n by taking a few days off every week, their relationship was so much better now.

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[bleedingoptimism]

The Stray

part two

Steve, blushingly furiously, asks Max to take over pancake duty so he can put on a shirt.

And Eddie is both thankful and devastated about it until Steve comes back… and he’s wearing one of Eddie’s shirts and fuck, that makes it so much worse.

He’s always had a thing for guys wearing his clothes and Steve looks so fucking pretty with an old and tattered shirt from his first tour.

Steve catches Eddie staring at him and blushes again, “Sorry, I'm wearing you aren’t I?” 

‘Uhg why would you phrase it like that? That sounds so good. Yes. Please. Wear me.’

Eddie shakes his head and smiles at their guest, “Nah, it’s fine dude, you can do me whene- Wear me! I mean- wear my clot- Stop laughing Max, you little shit! I slept like two hours, okay?”

The three of them share a laugh and then, with all of their plates full, Max starts telling Eddie how she met Steve and the circumstances that got her to invite him over.

Eddie listens and starts thinking, shit, maybe he shouldn’t trust Max to be alone for such long periods of time. He worries about her, always has. But Max has always been independent and so fucking stubborn, toeing the line between proving how responsible she was and disobedience.

He tries to keep an eye on her as much as she lets him, he trusts Max to commute to college alone, to hit the skate park at any hour of the day. She used to get into fights at high school but went to therapy for her anger issues and doesn’t do it anymore.

He trusts her with her boyfriend. Or more accurately, he trusts her boyfriend. It took Max two whole months to tell Eddie she was dating someone and another two months to finally introduce them. And not because she was worried about what Eddie might think of him, oh no. 

She was worried Eddie would think Lucas was too good for her. Too pure. That she would corrupt him. (She was right about Lucas being too pure but Eddie would never think someone could be too good for her. In his opinion, she deserved every bit of good that came her way.)

So really, befriending a street performer sounded like something right up her alley but, taking a homeless man in…

Not that he can blame her, he thinks as he watches Steve shyly biting a pancake and getting progressively redder as Max dives into an action-packed story of him beating up three men to save her.

He knows Max like the back of his hand and knows exactly where she’s going when she talks about how kind, smart, and talented her friend is so he’s not surprised when she asks, “Can he stay with us for a while?”

“No, absolutely not.”

It’s not him who answers, but Steve. He’s shaking his head and looking at Max with big eyes, “I couldn’t possibly. I can’t take advantage of your hospitality any longer, I-”

“Oh, shut up Steve, don’t play hard to get. You have nowhere else to go! Just say yes.”

Steve seems to shrink into himself and looks between Max and Eddie, who gives him a little encouraging smile.

“What are you going to do?” Max presses.

Steve blinks at them sadly and he looks so much like a kicked puppy Eddie wants to make Max back off and hold him, so he stuffs his mouth with pancakes before he says something stupid.

“...I don't know,” Steve answers after a second, and Max huffs as if she is dealing with a child.

“Do you have anyone you could call?” Eddie asks him curious.

Steve’s shoulders tense for a second before he smiles apologetically, “Not anyone I’d want to find out about my… Situation”

“That settles it then!” Max says and claps her hands loudly making Eddie jump, he really did sleep two hours and he wants to go to bed now. Maybe Steve would be up for cuddles? Okay, no. He needs to go to sleep right now before his brain gets any more dumb ideas.

“You can stay in the guest room Wayne and mom use when they come over, no biggie. And don’t worry I’m not gonna let you stay here for free! You’ll chaperone me to school and the skate park and can do the groceries and cook while you look for a proper job! If anything I’ll be taking advantage of you and not the other way around,” Max tells him in a tone that leaves no room for argument.

Steve looks between the both of them once more before sighing and nodding once, a small smile on his lips that makes his eyes shine prettily.

He blinks a couple of times, his eyes looking wetter with every blink and he clears his throat and excuses himself going to the living room where his beat-up duffle bag and guitar case are, pretending to be tying things up while clearly drying his tears.

Eddie’s heart clenches for him but he looks at Max and shakes his head at her, “You know, your mom warned me once about me getting home one day and finding you with a stray puppy but,” he lifts his hand and points in Steve’s general direction, “That’s a grown-ass man.”

Max smirks at him, “Nah,” she says, taking Eddie’s plate and hers and starting to clean up after Steve, “He’s a puppy.”

to be continued!

part 1: 🎸

part 2: you are here!

part 3: 📓

part 4: 💝

coffee?☕🥐💕

[l0stfoster]

Can we hear more about Har-bit childhood? I remember you mentioned his dad being abusive and his mom ignoring it.

Does the gang know about his childhood?

How was he towards his sister during those time and if it effected their relationship later on?

Is there lasting effects?

I love people asking about the backstory/childhood stuff it's so fun. Alright, let's get to it! Everything is below the cut, sorry if some shit isn't worded right, I'm a little out of it today so I'll likely come back to edit this as needed.

General information

- As I've said, Two’s mom is a harpy and his dad is human. Neither Two-Bit nor Molly took after Mr. Mathews, and he wasn’t too happy about that. He left when Molly was around 3 and Two was 13. - I've always imagined Mrs. Mathews being a nurse, so she was constantly out of the house for long shifts and so on, and so forth. She trusted Mr. Mathews since he'd kept whatever malice he felt on the down low.. for the first few years. - I've already said it but I'll bring it back up; Two-Bit constantly had his needs and habits as a harpy repressed by his father. Feathers clipped, he wasn't allowed to preen, etc. Human social norms were super-enforced, and Two or his sister were disciplined harshly for behaving in any way a harpy would. - Harpies crave social bonds or a flock mentality; , something that Mr. Mathews was so thoroughly against agreeing to. He'd also treat them as if they should be human, then get all pissy if they didn't meet that expectation. - His dad was an alcoholic, and unfortunately, that's a trait Two picked up as well. - Mr. Mathews wasn't usually physical, but there were moments. It was mostly emotional and psychological abuse that the kids had to deal with; he'd make tons of derogatory comments about Two and his mom, call them monsters, etc. Neglect was pretty evident too, Two had to learn to fend for himself from a pretty young age and had to learn to care for Molly when she was born. - Speaking of which, Two constantly took the brunt of the responses his father held when it came to Molly's behavior as a literal baby. This is probably where the physical aspects of abuse got the most rampant since Two-Bit defending Molly was seen as having an attitude. - Two-Bit was forced to lie regarding how he was being treated as well, he was told for a long time that he wouldn't be believed, that he was being dramatic, or that Mrs. Mathews would leave. - Ms. Mathews was going to file for divorce once she could afford the financial issues that would follow it, but one day just came home to a quiet house, save for Two-Bit trying to ease a fussy Molly. They haven't seen him since.

Does the gang know about his childhood?

- The levels of knowing about it vary, but Dally and Ace definitely have the best gauge on Two's childhood. Dally had witnessed it a ton firsthand, and Ace got to hear it from Two himself. Darry's also pretty aware of it, as not only did he get glimpses of it while they grew up, but he vividly remembers the nights when Two-Bit would show up drunk and just,, talk. - Steve and Johnny are also pretty aware, they don't know the details, but they know that the guy fucked up enough for Two of all people to shit talk. Hell, Two doesn't hold the same malice that his dad faces towards Paul or even Bev. You need to fuck up bad for Two-Bit to despise you. - Everyone else doesn't know the full details, but it's not hard to make assumptions.

How was he towards his sister during those times and did it affect their relationship later on?

- Their relationship wasn't impacted, if anything their bond was strengthened as Two did everything in his damn power to keep her on the opposite end of their father's wrath. - He would've killed the man with his bare hands if he dared to lay a hand on her. Hence why he continued to defend her, even if he shouldn't have had to; babies are going to be noisy and need a lot of attention, and god forbid a father has to care for their own child.

Are there lasting effects?

- There's a good bit of remaining trauma from Mr. Mathews, yeah. Two covers a lot of his personal angst with his humor and loudness, but things shine through. His sister didn't experience it enough to have a grasp on how bad things were. - There was a lot of deep-rooted shame in Two due to his harpy nature and how his father responded to it. For a good long while, he hated being one. He still longs for his father's approval despite his abandonment but resents the neglect and abuse. The only reason it hasn't prevented him from forming bonds and relationships is because his mother did her damn best to turn it around. - Two-Bit absolutely hates that he drinks. He knows he shouldn't be doing it, and he knows it reminds people (and himself) of his father; but just because you know you're colorblind doesn't mean you can see the colors. Addiction isn't easy to deal with. - Two also gets really aggressive if anyone directs anger toward him or his sister; it's a reflex. His brain associates that loud and violent behavior with his father.

[somewhereincairparavel]

okay. So I've finished book 1 of keeper of the lost cities for the first time. And I'm loving this keefe dude already?? Like I never thought I'd like a fictional character so quickly. All it took was like one page for me to fall for him, I am aware that keefe is one of the most loved characters in the fandom, and I can see why (correct me if I'm wrong).

Also the book is a solid 9.5/10, the only thing I was frustrated about was probably the slight info dumping about the whole blackswan thing towards the end? because it took me like 3 reads to understand the whole situation, of course, we could just narrow it down to me being slow too, lol. But I'm VERY excited to continue reading the rest. So while we're at it, I'll put in my first impressions of the characters, so I can look back on it after I've read all the books, to see how much my perception has changed of them.

Sophie- i like her, she's really mature for her age, I keep forgetting that she's like 12 lmao. But she's well written, her emotions seem very raw and natural. Of course, she may seem overpowered but, I think that's the whole point of the story, she is supposed to be overpowered, so I don't mind and i wouldn't call her a Mary sue. Overall great protagonist, my girlie deserves a break tho, she got dumped in the hospital atleast 6 times lol.

Fitz- i actually think he's cool. I liked him better in the beginning of the story tho, I feel like afterwards, the dude kinda just disappeared a little? Keefe and Sophie seemed to have more private interaction than those two, and keefe literally only came by in the middle. But yeah, I feel like he had more of a personality in the start. Keefe and Dex, in my opinion had more personality in 5 minutes than fitz did the whole book, but I wouldn't judge so quickly, it's only the first book after all, Hopefully he'd have more page time in the later books. I still like him tho, just not as much as keefe.

Dex- Yeah he is such a typical best friend, I love him. His beef w the vackers is so funny lol I was relieved when Sophie stuck with him even after she became popular tho, also, he seems to have a crush on sophie right? It's kinda obvious, but overall friendship goals 10/10. I vocally "AWW-ed" after he said "are you kidding, i can't wait to tell everyone that you're my first friend" like I need a guy bestie like him :(

Alden- honestly, my heart warmed so much with his father-like dynamic with sophie tbh. He seemed to genuinely care about her well being, but I don't want to get too attached to him tho, just in case becomes a traitor or some shit later on, you can literally never tell with the adults lol. I've read enough books to back that up. But yeah, i really like him and della, the amount of reassuring hugs he gives sophie really heals me :(, They're like sophies 2nd (well, in her case, 3rd) parents. The amount of effort and lengths Alden put to get her out of trouble is actually sweet.

Elwin- This guy is such a W. He is like an adult keefe tbh. He is probably my favorite adult so far lol.

Cassius- I'm sorry, but Mr jerk face over here reminds me SO much of Lucius Malfoy??? Like ?? I feel so bad for Keefe, like poor baby leave him alone smh. I really wanna deck his royal highness in the face tbh.

Biana- absolutely loathed her in the beginning, she gave off such bad snob vibes lol but I love her now. I like the trope of two people forced to be friends w eachother by someone actually end up becoming friends. It's rather uncommon as far as I've read, atleast.

Grady and Edaline- is it bad that i thought they were going to be evil? Yeah I have so much trust issues, it's concerning. But yeah, they're both big W's, their backstory, their temporary contemplation to reject sophies adoption, everything aligned well with their backstory. Greatly written characters.

And last but not least, the king himself, Keefe- okay, he's like added to my list of fictional crushes now lol (along with Percy Jackson, Jason grace, Steve Harrington, chat noir, Eugene fitzherbert, edmund pevensie and Ravi singh ofc). How does sophie not have a fat crush on him, like- ma'am if you don't want him, I'll take him. But jokes aside, he feels like the most authentic character out of them all, tbh. Epitome of great writing. He was inserted to the story as this random dude that sophie runs into, and becomes an og in like 5 minutes. He is like a mix of Eugene from tangled, Kristoff from Frozen and chat noir from mlb all at the same time?? I cannot wait to see more of him and his backstory, especially with his parents. I know alot of people dislike the humorous guy with depression trope since it's overused, but I like how it played out on keefe, he uses school as an escape, which is very relatable.

Also, bonus, i LOVE the world building, the light leaping and all, very creative. I cannot wait to get my hands on book 2

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Drawn Together 11

Warnings: non/dubcon, obsession, intimidation, spanking, and other dark elements.

Character: Steve Rogers

Summary: You get a tattoo on an impulse to break your routine, but you walk away with something else as permanent as the ink.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Take her to the room, son,” Sarah’s voice crackles like ice, “and don’t let her out until she’s earned it.”

“Yes, mother,” he answers as he squeezes you tighter.

“Don’t let her ruin this,” she turns on her heel and struts around, “this is a very nice home, I think the two of you would be very happy here. If she doesn’t spoil it all.”

“She won’t, ma, I promise. I can teach her–”

“You better,” she spins back to him and jabs her finger in the air, “when I return, I expect a warmer welcome than I’ve had today. Do you understand?”

“Mother, yes, I do,” Steve avows.

“I’m not talking.” She takes a step, “to.” Closer. “You”

You blink at her futilely. You can do nothing but murmur into Steve’s hand. She shakes her head, her disapproval ticking in her cheek. The shadows set angles on her face in a way that reminds you of her son.

“She will understand,” Sarah looks above you, “you will make sure, won’t you?”

“Yes,” Steve shudders against you, “I’ll show you out–”

“No, I can see to myself, do not delay. And do not be soft.”

She waggles her finger at you before she tilts her chin up and strides away promptly. You watch her take her purse from the console table as she approaches the banister. She pauses to glance at you again. 

“I will lock up so you do not need to worry,” she dips her head down in a dismissive nod, “goodbye, boo.”

“Bye, ma,” Steve chimes back, “love ya.”

“As I love you, my special boy.”

She descends without further pretense. Your heart blazes in horror as you writhe and kick down your feet. Steve huffs, you feel his chest heave, and drags you backward. You reach out, trying to catch the wall but he’s too strong. 

“Sweetheart, all you had to do was be good,” he sneers as he pulls you into the bedroom, “I really like you but ma, she’s got trust issues. She won’t give you another chance.”

He turns and kicks the door shut behind him. He marches you to the bed and tosses you forward. You stumble and land on your stomach against the mattress. You roll over as he clicks his tongue.

You sit up and watch him unlash his belt buckle. You whimper and push your knees together as you stretch your hands over the bedspread.

“Steve,” you squeak, “please, I’m sorry–”

“Shhh, no, that’s not yet,” he says as he pulls his belt free of the loops, “apologies are after. That way, I know you mean it.”

He nears as you cower away from him. You wince as he drops the belt beside you. You let out a quivery breath as he stands before you. He crisscrosses his fingers between each other and cracks his knuckles. Is he going to hit you?

You raise your hand in a measly defense and he grabs it, shoving it down.

“No, I wouldn’t– not your face,” he sniffs and unbuttons his sleeve, then the other.

He methodically rolls up the pressed white fabric, folding it just above his elbow. His forearms bulge beneath the layers of ink, tendons and veins standing out as he furls and unfurls his fingers. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, shaking out his hands.

He pivots slowly and sits beside you. You tremble as his touch crawls up your back. He pulls you close and puts his lips to the shell of your ear.

“Get on my lap,” he growls.

He eases you back to look you in the face. Your eyes glisten in shock. What is he going to do to you?

“Pardon?”

“Ah, first, remember, it’s sir. Say it.”

You gulp and quaver through the well brimming behind your eyes, “sir…”

“I gave you an order. You say ‘yes, sir’ and do as I tell you.”

You look him in the eye. You pout and reach for his hand, one last plea, “please–”

He snatches his hand away, “don’t make me tell you again.” He slaps his thigh, “on your stomach.”

You peek over at the door. You could never outrun him. Besides that, you tested your luck and the front door isn’t budging. As stupid as you are, you nailed the windows down and trapped yourself.

You move slowly, as if in a trance. Your limbs are dull and heavy as you awkwardly position yourself across his lap. You sniffle as he pushes you flat, running his hand along your back, following the curve, and over your ass. He lingers there, groping you as a ripple courses through him.

“This is how you have to learn. If you can’t listen, I have no choice. I don’t want to do this, sweetheart, but I have to.”

You drop your head down and hide it in the crook of your elbow. You bite down in anticipation. You know what he means to do. He lifts his hand and you hold your breath.

He lays down a smack so hard it stings. You squeal in surprise, ready for the strike but unprepared by the sheer force and the quick succession that follows. He doesn’t pause, doesn’t let up as he brings his hand down over and over, so fast you can’t even count.

You whine and whimper, raising your head as you bite back the pain. Your body wracks as you fight the swell of agony that radiates from his contact. You clutch the bedspread in your fist and dig your knees into the mattress.

“Ow, please, please, I’ll be good.”

He stops, keeping his hand on your ass. He waits silently. You shake, waiting. He snarls.

“I’ll be good, sir…” he drags his hand down your leg and back up, pushing up your skirt.

You wince and squeak again. He pushes the fabric above your waist and hooks his fingers in the ribboned trim of your underwear. He wrenches them down as you jolt. The cool air touches your hot ass, adding to the sear in the tortured flesh.

“You.” He brings his hand down without warning, “have,” another, “to.” Slap,” learn” crack, “your,” smack, “manners!”

“Ow, ow, ahh, please,” the tears spring out as each spank is harder than the last, “please, sir, I promise–”

“I have to go all the way,” he puffs as he reaches back with his other hand, “you made me do this, sweetheart. You did.” He pulls the belt off the mattress and the belt tinkles in foreboding, “you insulted my mother. I can’t allow it.”

“No, I didn’t–”

“Shhh,” he hushes you again as he lifts the belt, “be a good girl and be quiet. The louder you are, the more you’ll get.”

He folds the belt and holds it against your ass. You murmur and bring your hand back to bite into your knuckle. The leather rises and you sink your teeth in. He swings and strikes your ass. The belt’s lash razes your flesh and sends a vibrant bloom of pain up your back.

Tears spring as you try not to make a sound. As he hits you again, you can’t withhold the pathetic mewl that escapes your lip. Your face wets with the unyielding flow that comes from the pain scalding your skin. 

Your shoulders rise and fall as you try to measure your rampant breaths. You sob as he whips you furiously, the sharp lashes licking down your thighs. You can feel the welts lining your ass, burnt into the flesh by his rage. He keeps his free hand on your lower back as he carries on, over and over until your delirious with the pain.

You weep into your arm as your knuckles slip from your mouth, the teeth marks throbbing as you lay limps and defeated. Please, stop, stop, stop. You can’t take it.

It isn’t until his rough palm grazes your ass that you realise it has stopped. That you hear your own babbles, crying out your thoughts weakly as you shake uncontrollably. He rubs you gently and coos, “it’s over now, sweetheart. Shh, please, stop crying.”

You can’t stop. The tears leak out and the sobs coil around your ribs, squeezing out your grief. He pulls your panties back up, the fabric causing the heat to pulse in your ass. He fixes your skirt and moves you slowly.

You wince and moan as he lifts you off him and angles you onto your side, pulling you up to lay your head on the pillow. He bends over you, a shadow skewed in your haze as he touches your shoulder, “sweetheart, do you understand why that had to be done?”

You nod as your tears gush out and you cover your face.

“Tell me.”

“S-sir?”

“Tell me why?”

“B-because…” you gulp and hiccup from behind your hands, “because I have… to learn… my manners.”

“Mmm,” he thumbs as his thumb rubs your shoulder, “yes, and?”

“And?” You pull your hand down slightly and bat your lashes at him, “sir, I don’t… know.”

He gives a soft smile and bends over you, bringing his hand up to your chin, “you wore the wrong dress. I want you to remember that I didn’t punish you for that.” He trails his hand up to caress your cheek, “next time, I will.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead and reluctantly draws away. You watch him move around, taking the belt off the bed where he left it. You notice how he rubs it against the front of his pants, a bulge beneath the fabric. You hide once more and curl up tight, the fiery pain thrumming beneath your tailbone.

“I will give you time to think,” his footsteps cross to the door. You say nothing and wait for him to leave. You can do nothing else as you're paralysed by terror and torment.

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Aftermath | Chapter 10 | Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Female OC | E.M x Karmen Jones

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 Chapter 15.

Chapter Summary: Eddie has spent a lot of lonely recovery time stewing on the fact that his new 'friends' seemed to have abandoned him. He's feeling stupid for hoping that they would invite him into their group instead. So what happens when one of those friends finally comes to visit him and offers an explanation?

Story Summary: Eddie wakes up in the Upside Down after 'dying' in Dustin's arms. He wakes up again in the hospital and is reunited with his loved ones. This story covers Eddie's time in the hospital and overall physical recovery after the Upside Down.

This fic is part of the She Feels Like Home series. It sits between Boxing Day and Drop Out but can be read as a standalone. 

Chapter Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort , Fluff, Mentions of being eaten alive, ASL, (American Sign Language), ASD !Eddie, Autistic Eddie, Non-verbal Eddie, Abandonment Issues, RSD, Misunderstandings, Friendships, Healing, Getting Better, Season 4 Spoilers.

Words: 6.7k

~~

Home time.

Finally.

But not for Eddie Munson. Instead it was Steve Harrigton that was covering ugly scars with house clothes. Today, a starchy polo that had previously been hidden in the back of his closet. 

Not one he ever would have chosen for himself. Instead, one that Robin had technically stolen from the Harrington household when she had technically broken in at his request.

He hadn’t had a key to give her when he’d asked her to please bring him some new clothes.God only knew where his parents had hidden the spare key… If they’d even left one out for him at all. 

The Harrington house had been in the middle of renovations before everything went to Hell. He knew there was no way his parents trusted the men from the Construction Company they hired to not make a copy and let themselves in off the clock if they happened to come across it. 

They were always so worried about the lower class and their nefarious motives. It was ironic really, considering one of the most nefarious people Steve knew in real life was his own Father.

His parent’s had always been of the impression that anyone less wealthy than them was waiting for a handout or their chance to rob them. 

He was glad that they hadn’t caught Robin going through his things. She wasn’t exactly their favorite person already simply based on their bigoted idea that she was from a different social class. He would hate to give them reason to believe their prejudiced mindsets had some validity to them.

Steve felt like he should probably be sad that his parents hadn’t visited him in the hospital. His Mother had called after she was notified of ‘the accident’. After Owens had been to visit him and explained the situation. But that was all from them. They knew he was alive and he supposed that was what mattered.

He wondered if they would come to his funeral if he hadn’t lived through it all. Maybe they would have just called and got the answer they needed to what was a simple yes or no question to them.

‘No,he didn’t make it. I’m so sorry.’

‘No problem. Thanks for letting us know.’

As if he was a package that had been misdelivered or a grocery item that was out of stock.

He tried not to think about it. He didn’t want to be sad. They’d just saved the world after all and he had plenty of visitors during his long and frankly unnecessary stay.

He hadn’t even been going to bring attention to his wounds the day they’d brought Eddie in. Didn’t think he needed it despite Nancy and Robin insisting that the grazes on his back were pretty bad and that the bat bites might get infected if they weren’t treated properly.

He had been ready to walk out without a word. But the quiet sobbing of Dustin in the waiting room changed his mind. He would never admit to the little Butthead quite how deeply he cared about him.

He also would never admit to the kid that he didn’t think Eddie was going to make it. So he needed to quietly make sure that Dustin didn’t lose both of them in one fell swoop. 

After the adrenaline finally wore off for good he had started to feel the pain of being nibbled on in earnest. 

Nancy and Robin had been right in the end and his wounds did get infected. So while he was rolling around in agony, a cold sweat on his forehead; he tried his best to be grateful that they had insisted he get checked out.

It was easier to be grateful when the narcotics kicked in and he could float around in the clouds. His mind was too muddled to think about anything other than the fact he was no longer in pain.

Unfortunately that reprieve hadn’t lasted long. They had taken that away from him on day three. His body was stronger than Eddie’s and he hadn’t been attacked as badly.

It only took a few days of healing for him to be doing quite well. He could move around on his own pretty ably.

He was itching to go home by the end of the week. 

The issue with that?

It would fuck up Eddie’s cover-story. 

Steve needed to be a little more injured for the car accident bullshit to make sense. 

The nurses were just as confused as him when Owens had announced that their doctor had ordered he stay for an extra week or two due to the nature of his injuries and how serious they were. It was obvious to everyone that he was relatively fine by that point. 

Sam had held up his hand and waved the medical staff off with a simple 

‘Confidential.’ 

Steve had been surprised that they actually listened and stopped asking questions. He figured someone had been made an example of in the past because no one had another thing to say about it. The nurses even continued taking his vitals twice a day without complaint or comment on the fact that they physically proved he was fine.

He and Robin had also theorized over his stay that maybe all the staff he interacted with actually worked for the lab and there wasn’t a single regular Hawkins Memorial Hospital staff member on their floor. Considering he, Max and Eddie were all taken to the same ward.

It wasn’t out of the question. But he was pretty sure they were all just scared of being fired.

A fear of his own that had recently come to fruition. 

Steve had resigned himself to playing the part for the sake of not breaking his NDA and getting to keep the Hush-Money that the government offered him for being cooperative.

He needed it. Apparently. Because according to the one phone call he had with his Mom. His Father was cutting him off after the owner of Family Video had called his house in a rage, asking why Steve had abandoned the store on their busiest day of the week.

It didn’t matter that it was later revealed that Steve had been in an accident. He couldn’t explain to his parents why he had abandoned the store in the first place and apparently Owens hadn’t bothered to come up with a cover for that part.

He was hoping now that he was finally free, to head over to the video store and explain to Keith  the version of events that he had spent his time in the hospital working on. 

He had been the one to abandon the store. Alone. Robin was already gone when Steve had learnt about the murder and left his post. He had assumed it was Eddie that was murdered when he’d seen the trailer on the news and he and Eddie were totally friends…

God he hoped Robin hadn’t gotten to Keith first. He’d asked her to stay away after she’d told him that they’d both been fired. He was going to fix it for them. He really hoped she’d listened and not gone in there and tried to explain it herself, contradicting all the lies he was about to tell.

He really hoped he could at the very least convince Family Video that Robin had done nothing wrong. That he could tell a captivating story that persuaded them to hire her back. Convince them that before Steve had left, she had a family emergency that had forced her to leave first. That she had asked Steve to work the rest of the shirt alone as well as her next few in her place.That he had absolutely agreed but forgot about his promise in the wake of learning his very best friend Eddie Munson was being charged with murder.

He also very much hoped that Keith had never heard him talk shit about Eddie in the past.

Steve hated to admit that there was a high possibility. That the prejudice and bigoted mindset he had been raised with had taken a lot longer to completely shed than he’d liked to acknowledge. That even after he’d begun to move on from that mindframe there were certain people that he had put into little boxes in highschool and not taken out to reexamine when he should have.

Eddie was one of those people and there was a 65% chance that Keith knew that already. That he’d already fucked his own cover story months before he would need it by being needlessly cruel about Dustin’s new friend Town Freak, Eddie Munson.

Maybe even if Keith knew he was lying, the dude would take pity on them. Maybe if he went in there all wet eyed and floppy haired with his best vocal quiver, he would be just pathetic enough to entice the man and he would hire them both back. 

But he doubted it. 

Even if he did, there was no way in hell he and Robin would be allowed to work together anymore and that was pretty much the only bearable part of the job.

So Family Video was where he was headed. His confidential discharge papers with most of the information redacted were tucked neatly into his satchel as he exited his hospital room for the last time

But he had a stop to make first before he took the bus across town to plead his pitiful case to his former employer. 

A doorway down the hall caught his eye. A doorway that he knew to currently belong to the room of his oldest and most cherished best friend, Eddie Munson. 

As he headed towards it he was surprised to see a woman exiting. Figuring in the few seconds he had to look at her that she was a nurse before realizing she was not dressed as such.

She was wearing a black polo shirt similar to his own although hers appeared to be of necessity rather than choice. There was a business logo on the back.

She also wore what appeared to be steel-cap boots with blue jeans.

Maybe she was a maintenance worker. 

She had long brunette curls pulled into a ponytail that swayed from side to side; masking the full name of the company she worked for. She walked across the hallway in front of him, heading towards the elevators. Steve stopped outside the door she’d just left. Trying to read the logo on her shirt and only making out the word ‘Construction’. He watched her walk away for a long moment before he realized he was staring and shaking himself out of it. 

About time this place did some renovations.

He thought to himself as he turned towards Eddie’s room, spying his friend reclining on his side in the bed and watching as he jumped out of his skin when Steve’s knuckles wrapped on the doorframe.

“Knock knock.” He called as an afterthought.

Eddie stared at him with shocked eyes that were magnified slightly by the glasses on his face. He closed his book, one hand obscuring the cover as he looked Steve up and down in a way that seemed like he was assessing if the other man was real or not.

Dustin had told Steve recently when he’d asked after Eddie that the man wasn’t speaking right now. Steve wasn’t really sure what that meant and Dustin hadn’t been much help. Explaining in an overtechnical way that made him feel like an idiot and not want to ask questions. But what he took from it was that Eddie could speak, he just didn’t want to or as Dustin had said:

‘His mouth wants to but his brain doesn’t.’

That was a few days ago though so Steve wasn’t really sure what to expect when he appeared for the first time in front of the guy who he’d nearly, accidentally, left for dead in another dimension.

He had been straight up avoiding the visit and it was probably obvious to everyone. He hadn’t been too injured to walk around and he frequently left his room to visit Max when she was there or buy food from the cafeteria. He’d run into Wayne a couple of times. Not speaking to the other man since he wasn’t sure he even knew who he was. He’d only known who Wayne was after all because he’d seen him coming and going from Eddie’s room and Nancy had mentioned that she saw Eddie’s Uncle staying with him.

But despite being able to move around he hadn’t yet visited his very best, oldest and most cherished friend, Eddie…

Because well…

Were they friends?

Steve remembered with shame the way he had referred to the other man as ‘Eddie the Freak’ when on the phone with Dustin the day Chrissy died. 

He looked back on the way he had acted at Family Video on that faithful Saturday morning with regret in his stomach at the thought that he actually voiced the idea that they call the cops. That he could have thought for even a second that Eddie was guilty.

He had pre-judged the other man in a way that he was honest to God embarrassed about after spending a couple of days with him. Even in the mess of being accused of a murder he didn’t commit and having the whole town on a man-hunt for him, Eddie had barely stopped smiling.

Whether it was a brave face for the kids or his own personal brand of coping with the horrors. Eddie Munson had laughed and joked his way through his ordeal.

It was refreshing, honestly. To not be constantly surrounded by Negative Nanc- uh.. People.. That always assumed the worst was about to happen.

Steve surmised that the mask Eddie wore probably was a brave face for the children considering how he noticed Eddie’s facade slipping more and more when he was alone with the other adults as opposed to in front of the younger tribe.

Either way, it was admirable. How he had gone out of his way to make sure the kids didn’t suffer more than they were already going to.

Eddie had laughed like a maniac and headbanged to the radio as Steve tore through the trailer park in their stolen vehicle. He had played with Dustin like they were kids while they were making their weapons. But when they had been alone in the boat and then later in the Upside Down, he had seen the terrified glint in the other man’s eyes. He had seen the jovial shield fall and the real Eddie come out in short bursts of anger and exaggerated, exasperated sighs.

He wasn’t laughing anymore now though. According to Dustin, he had let the mask fall completely.

Steve knew even when it was in place that the man was scared but he had put that aside for Dustin and the others. 

Him, even.

Eddie had jumped into the fucking lake and swam into another Goddamn dimension to chase after Steve who he’d barely known and to be honest, only known at his worst before they were thrust together during that situation.

He wouldn’t have dove into the lake after Eddie. Hell, he wouldn’t have even lifted a finger to help find the dude if he wasn’t the only one that could drive.

If Nancy or Jonathan had been there to take the lead, he probably would have just stayed at work and gone home after until the kids could prove to him that the things that had happened were Upside Down related.

Eddie was a good dude with a heart of gold. If their conversation in the woods had been any indication of Eddie’s feelings towards him, the other man had realized in kind that perhaps he had misjudged Steve as well.

Eddie had said he wouldn’t have jumped into the lake to save his ass. But he did. Even if at the time it had just been because he knew the others, Dustin included, would be distraught to lose Steve... He still did it. Which was more than Steve could say he would have done for Eddie.

So, they were friends now.

Steve assured himself as Eddie pulled his pillows closer to himself to hide the corner of the novel he had sheepishly pushed under them and nodded for Steve to enter the room.

“Hey man.” He greeted, as casually as he was able while he made his way inside. “Who was that?” He asked after the woman that had just left, to try and break the ice. He jutted his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the door and found himself unsurprised when Eddie didn’t answer.

Steve nodded to himself, slipping into the visitor chair that was usually occupied by Wayne. It sat him lower than Eddie’s bed. He hoped that worked for him. That knowing Eddie was able to physically look down upon him would help dispel any unease or frustration the other man had about Steve’s absence since ‘the accident’. He hoped that he appeared less intimidating from down there. He looked up at the other man with an expression that he hoped was friendly and maybe a little pathetic to boot.

He may not have a good grasp on how someone like Eddie was raised compared to himself but if he only knew one thing about the people he used to consider to be in a different social class to himself, it was that they liked it when he looked pathetic.

Eddie did look down at him but it was with wary eyes and a sense of sadness instead of the sharp glare he had been expecting. The brunette slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. The awkward angle of the visitor chair made it far too hard to keep lying on his side if he was going to have a ‘conversation’.

Steve watched quietly as the other man moved. Eyes roaming over his face as his muscles strained to right himself shakily.

He was paler than Steve remembered. Although he hadn’t really spent too much time studying Eddie’s face during the events of late March. He seemed noticeably pale like Steve would clock it even if he had never met him before.

The dark circles around his eyes were obvious even behind the glasses and the raw scars visible on his cheeks and neck gave Steve a lot of answers to questions he didn’t need to ask.

Eddie definitely still needed to be here and he felt guilty for bitching about lying around and being brought 3 meals a day for the sake of the other man’s recovery. When one look at him told him that it had been hell.

He was still bruised in some places while Steve’s own bruising had long since healed. Although now that he was really looking, he wondered how many of those bruises were new. Brought about by rough care on fresh, tender skin.

He couldn’t see much of Eddie’s chest. His body was covered by the papery sort of hospital gown that he hadn’t been wearing since his first week.

He couldn’t tell if Eddie was too sick and sore to wear his normal clothes or if he wasn’t allowed to. Either way the hospital had more comfortable options than the sort of thin material that adorned Eddie’s body.

Steve had been complaining about the thick fabric gowns that didn’t have the back cut out.

Just one more thing for him to feel guilty about.

Eddie sat cross legged on the stiff mattress. Looking down at Steve and shifting under his gaze. The grimace-like smile on his face hadn’t shifted since he sat down made Eddie question the motives of ‘The King’s’ sudden appearance. 

“So uh…” Steve began. Clearing his throat with a fist by his lips before he folded his hands in his lap. “Dustin said you don’t… Feel like talking right now?” He said as conversationally as he could manage. Pausing in the middle of his sentence to choose his words carefully and yet still managing to add an inflection on the end as if he was asking a question and expecting Eddie to answer.

Eddie shrugged softly, clenching his jaw at the action as his shoulder twinged in protest. He looked away from Steve, not able to take the strained eye contact any longer and instead focusing on a discolored spot on the arm of the chair. 

“How’ve you been?” Steve asked suddenly despite the gnawing feeling in his gut telling him to leave it alone and change the subject. Despite knowing the other man wouldn’t answer even if he could.

He had every right to be angry. To tell Steve to shove it and never speak to any of them again.

Eddie wasn’t able to hide the roll of his eyes at the question. An indignant huff left his lips as he shook his head slightly in astonishment.

It had been weeks and he’d not heard from any of them.

Wayne had told Eddie when he first awoke that the person driving the car didn’t need any surgery and would be out of the hospital within a few days. So Eddie hadn’t found it that hard to justify the fact that Steve was probably out in the world trying to get his life back on track after everything that happened.

Finding out from Dustin that Steve had been forced to stay for longer to help their cover stories… It had been a low blow. 

Not only had he only been a few rooms away the entire time Eddie had been suffering. But apparently Robin, Nancy and the rest of the younger crew had been visiting him the entire time to stave off his boredom.

Other than Dustin, not one of them had stopped in to visit Eddie.

The Kid had been hesitant to let that information slip. Obviously aware that it would hurt Eddie’s feelings. 

He had brushed it off at the time. Acting like it didn’t hurt. But Eddie had been through something spectacularly life altering and he was lucky enough to have people that related to it. So when suddenly the only other people in the entire world that understood his plight weren't interested in being his friend, it kind of sucked.

A lot.

Like, a lot more than he could have ever anticipated.

It wasn’t like he could talk about the extra hurt with anyone either. 

Literally or figuratively. 

How exactly would that sound without the extra context of monsters, other dimensions and trauma bonding? 

Hello Family, I know I didn’t contact either of you for the entire time I was on the run and I kind of let you think I was dead or at the very least, a cheater and a murderer to boot… BUT I made a bunch of new friends!! We had so much fun while you guys were suffering because you chose to love me but now I’m sad because even though you both spend every waking minute of your free time here with me…  My new friends I barely know won’t visit me. :(

Wayne might actually think it was a funny turn of events. Especially if he worded it like that. But he could only imagine the look of betrayal on Karmen's face...

No, he’d rather be back with the bats.

Anyway, he supposed he should have expected this. None of the gang had really been interested in being his friend prior to the ordeal. 

Robin was nice. They were in Band together and she had always been kind, even chosen to be his partner on a project in the past. But she had her own friends and hadn’t seemed interested in talking to him outside of that.

He understood. 

He didn’t know what he had been thinking… Traipsing around in another world with these people and feeling for the first time in a long while that perhaps he was a part of something again. That beyond Wayne, Joey and Karmen, maybe there were good people out there that cared for him and would want to be his friends. 

Real friends. His age. The kind of friends that he hung out with outside of DnD and on weekends. Friends that he could talk to about anything, not just the otherworldly horrors they had all experienced together.

He had a hunch that being the Town Pryer probably wouldn’t be so bad if he had some peers on his side to bat for him.

Bat…

He sighed internally. Dustin was the only one out of all of them that would always be willing to bat for him.

To go to bat-tle on his behalf.

I should have laughed at the kid’s joke.

Steve sat in silence as Eddie frowned at his own memories. Unsure if he had intentionally not answered the question or if he had been trying to decide how to respond and gotten lost somewhere in the past.

It was a bit of both but Steve would never know that as he opened his mouth to speak again and Eddie chose that moment to snap out of it. Huffing dramatically and crossing his arms over his chest in a juvenile way he was honestly embarrassed about but couldn’t help when he was feeling things like this.

He was frustrated. Exasperated. Resentful. But above all, hurt. Not necessarily by Steve specifically but his own silly brain for letting him believe for a hot second that he would just be welcomed into the group with open arms because they shared a spooky experience.

He may as well have let himself believe he was best friends with the gate attendant of the Haunted House carnival ride.

They had about as much in common as him and Steve.

“Sick scars Man.” Steve offered suddenly, pulling Eddie from his thoughts again and making him wonder exactly how long he had been silent for. “Very…” Steve paused, thinking. “Metal.” He said, remembering back to how Eddie had complimented him in The Upside Down.

Eddie looked to him tiredly, nodding once as an acknowledgement and a thank you before looking away again. He did appreciate the compliment. Also the fact that Steve had gone out of his way to use language that Eddie vibed with. 

There’s no way Harrington would organically use ‘metal’ as an adjective.

He was trying.

“Chicks dig scars.” Steve continued, pushing it too far and making Eddie feel like he was being pandered to instead of understood. His eyes hit the ceiling once more and any sense of confidence Steve had begun to feel at the way Eddie reacted to his correct use of ‘metal’ faded away as he deflated in his seat. “I mean… I don’t know what I mean.” He admitted softly. Throwing his hands up as Eddie’s shoulders seemed to soften slightly at the confession. “I guess, I mean, I don’t know, don’t be like, worried about them or anything. I’ve never seen a woman balk at scars you know? If anything it’ll only help your game.” He joked as Eddie furrowed his brows. 

Steve for sure wasn’t listening when they had been walking in the forest and he had mentioned wanting to get back to his girl after everything.

To be fair, he had worded it ambiguously. Partially because he wasn’t really saying it to have a conversation, it was just something he needed to voice aloud. But also partially due to the reaction of his actual friends in the Hellfire Club when he tried to tell them about her. It had scarred him and he didn’t feel like arguing with Harrington in the middle of the Upside Down about the fact that his girlfriend did exist. 

He supposed he could have shown him her picture. But he doubted the one in his wallet would have been salvageable after diving into the lake. Not that he ever wanted anyone else to see Karmen in that light anyway. That polaroid was just for him. Although… He could have covered the indecent bits with his thumb.

“Especially when you become a rockstar.” Steve added, leaning forward as if he was divulging a secret. “If Dustin’s retelling of events is accurate, I hear you’re pretty damn good with a guitar.”

Eddie didn’t take the bait. He wanted to. So badly. It helped that he couldn’t verbally reply. Out there somewhere, in an alternate reality was a verbal Eddie that was rubbing it in Steve Harrington’s face that he was quite possibly, the best guitar player in all of Indiana.

But not today. Not this Eddie. This Eddie was silent and staring at his own feet under the covers in an effort to seem uncaring. Pretend like he wasn’t hurt and didn’t need or want an explanation from Steve on why he wasn't good enough to be a part of their little gang.

Steve’s shoulder slumped when Eddie didn’t reply. He didn’t really know what else to say to try and entice the other man into engaging with him.

Maybe he should just tell the truth? He considered as he studied Eddie’s sunken features. The man had been through the wringer. Steve and his friends may have saved Eddie’s life but what did that really matter if they’d only brought him back to silently suffer in a world he’d never see the same way again.

What was the point in dragging him out of The Upside Down if he was going to spend the rest of his life alone or at least lonely and full of traumas he could never talk about. 

It would have been kinder to let him bleed out.

“Listen…” Steve began, not really sure how to continue while Eddie seemed to be physically closing himself off from conversation. 

His arms were wrapped around himself and he was refusing to make eye contact. The icy glare Steve had expected when he first entered the room had arrived but it was directed at the mattress, not him. 

That was a start.

“I um… I should have visited sooner.” Steve admitted softly, completely catching Eddie off guard. “I wanted to!” He continued eagerly, encouraged by the way Eddie’s face changed so suddenly from anger to curiosity. He still wasn’t looking but Steve was honestly glad for it because what he was about to say was going to feel humiliating even without eye contact. “It’s just that um…” He trailed off. A long sigh leaving his lips as Eddie all but twitched his ears expectantly like a dog that thought he’d heard his favorite word.

He stared at his feet, determined not to give Steve the satisfaction of having his attention as he waited with baited breath to hear the excuse he could practically feel sitting between them like a giant elephant with a neon sign that demanded him to look at it.

“It’s just that…” Steve started again, trailing off once more and causing Eddie’s inner monologue to become one long, frustrated screech. His eye twitching slightly as he ripped his vision from his own feet and finally looked at Steve in a way that screamed:

SPIT IT OUT!!

The other man took the hint, unnerved by the sharpness of Eddie’s gaze as he shrunk under it. His hands wringing together in his lap as he spoke.

“It’s just that I didn’t know if you– wanted to be my friend?” He confessed sheepishly, the end of his question a cluttered mumble of words that blended into one another but Eddie got the gist. His mouth falling open brazenly in surprise.

Oh…

He thought simply. Staring at the other man as his expression became unreadable and he sat with the new information for a moment.

He hadn’t considered that.

That maybe Steve “The King” Harrington would be just as confused about where they stood after their escapades in The Upside Down.

That Eddie was… right? 

That High School popularity and pecking order didn’t actually extend to the real world and it took leaving High School to fully realize that. 

That this wasn’t High School. 

That social class didn’t dictate who people were allowed to associate with…

That Steve was not better than him. 

That maybe, Eddie wanting to be friends with Steve didn’t mean that by default Steve was the one that got to decide if they were friends or not. 

That maybe, the ball had been in Eddie’s court all along.

Shit…

Steve swallowed nervously, his hands graduating from wringing together to rubbing the fabric of his polo between his thumbs and fingers as he looked away from Eddie with pursed lips and wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

Eddie still wasn’t saying anything.

This was a mistake. 

He’d misjudged the situation. Of course Eddie hadn’t been wondering the entire time why Steve hadn’t shown his face. Of course he wasn’t angry that Steve hadn’t been around and was instead annoyed that he’d shown up at all and ruined his peace. 

Of course Eddie had a bunch of friends already and didn’t need Steve encroaching on that just because they’d spent a few days together in a traumatic situation.

His friendship with Robin had skewed his sense of reality and how these things normally work. He was lucky she had chosen to stick around with him after Scoops and didn’t go back to her regular life. 

People didn’t really just become super close friends with someone out of nothing despite not having much in common.

The kids were already friends before their lives were turned upside down. He and Nancy had been dating. He already knew and mostly got along with the kids from that. Jonathan already knew the kids just by being Will’s brother but then he started dating Nancy and basically took his place… But they were all running in the same circles and had enough in common with at least one other person in the group to keep them all spending time together.

Robin was the exception and while he was glad every day that she was still his friend, it wasn’t usual.

Hell he didn’t really have any friends besides Robin anymore did he? If friends could be made that easily one would think he would have more of them.

He had thought Eddie hated him up until he’d called him a ‘good dude’ in the forest.

He wasn’t sure why he’d thought being perceived as a good dude was the same thing as wanting to… What? Hang out on the weekends? Talk shit about life, love and bro things he couldn’t force out of his mouth in front of the girls or the kids?

“Sorry.” Steve said suddenly. Staring at the ground. His hands clasped together tightly in between his knees. 

Eddie looked up at that. Staring for a few seconds as he tried to work out what he was sorry for. He squinted in confusion as he watched Steve sit up straight and place his hands on his knees like he was about to push himself up.

No!

Eddie exclaimed internally. Realizing in that moment how it must have looked when he just went silent and spent God only knows how long in his head instead of answering the question.

Stop! Don’t go!

He tried to convey, leaning towards the edge of the bed and reaching as far towards Steve as his body would allow. Gesturing with a flat hand for him to stop and holding the other man in place without actually touching him.

Once he was sure Steve wasn’t going to move, the other man staring up at him all doe eyed with creases in his brow; Eddie took his hand away. He reached for the book on his nightstand, flipping it open and sliding glossy pages roughly through his fingers as he looked for what he wanted.

He found it, sighing in relief and holding out the open book out for Steve to take.

Eddie had decided what he was going to do with the ball and he was handing it to Steve to put in the laundry basket thingy because he knew he would never make the shot. Besides, they worked better as a team.

Steve took the book hesitantly, confused by what it even was as he pulled it into his lap and studied the pictures on the page.

He looked back up at Eddie, ready to ask what he was looking at before realizing he was making a gesture with his hands. His index fingers hooked together before he let go and rehooked them, giving each hand a turn on top.

Steve’s brows raised in understanding as he looked back down at the page on his knees. Unconsciously pointing to the picture that matched the sign Eddie had made.

“Friend.” Steve read. The corners of his lips beginning to quirk. “Looks like your fingers are giving each other a hug.” He smiled, reading the description and looking back up to Eddie who dropped his hands to his lap, shoulders losing tension at the smile on Steve’s face. He nodded simply, smiling back but unsure where to go from there.

Steve had thrown the ball through the basket but Eddie didn’t really know how to play basketball. He was much better at words and metaphors. 

“So, will you be my friend?” Steve asked earnestly, needing the confirmation that he was understanding and accidentally sounding a lot more like a five year old than he had intended as Eddie cocked his head at the question.

It took a second for his brain to catch up to his ears but when it did, the absurdity of the situation hit him all at once and he found himself laughing aloud. 

A good, hearty laugh that startled even himself as he slapped a hand over his mouth in response. He stared wide eyed at Steve who was equally wide eyed and mouthed. Eddie had let forth a quick bark of laughter here and there but he hadn’t laughed like that since before.

Actually, since they were tearing through the Trailer Park in Marueen’s house.

It felt good to laugh. But was entirely inappropriate for the situation at hand.

“Did you just laugh at me?” Steve asked in disbelief as Eddie shook his head vehemently, ignoring the searing pain in his neck from the repeated motion. “You did!” Steve argued, his tone lighthearted as he shook his head in mock exasperation. The giant grin on his face giving away that he wasn’t actually mad. “I ask you to be my friend and you laugh at me?” He asked incredulously, placing Eddie’s book back on the nightstand and leaning back in his chair. “Honestly.” He huffed for dramatic flair. 

A silence fell between them and Steve continued to shake his head playfully. A sniff from Eddie making his head snap up in horror, thinking he had upset him. Before realizing the bastard wasn’t crying. 

He was still laughing. 

His eyes were closed, hand clamped over his mouth so tight his fingers were digging into his injured cheek. His shoulders shook as he tried hard to stifle it. Opening his teary eyes and locking them with Steve’s deadpan expression tipped him over the edge as he gave up on being quiet. 

He let his hand fall away as another hearty laugh left his lips at the ridiculousness of it all. Doubling over as the wounds on his chest stung and his belly burned from not being able to take a proper breath.

Of all the things he’d expected to happen to him in ‘86, he would have confidently put ‘Steve Harrington asking him verbatim to be his friend’ below witnessing a murder, being wanted for said murder, discovering monsters exist and finally, almost being eaten alive by said monsters.

Maybe Steve wanting to be his friend was a little more believable than him finding a girlfriend that loved and cared for him but that happened in ‘85 so really, it didn’t count.

“Do you want to be my friend or not you Bastard?” Steve asked through a chuckle. Eddie’s laughter was the only infectious thing in this place that could make him smile.

Eddie nodded definitively. His own grin that stretched his cheek scars a little too tightly played on his lips as he looked over at Steve and nodded once more to be extra certain he had seen.

Yeah Harrington, I really do.

“Great.” Steve responded simply, happy to finally have one of his long standing anxieties melt away with a positive outcome. “Henderson is going to have a field day with this.” ~~ More Notes: I just want to point out that while I do mention a couple of times later in the series that Eddie doesn’t have any friends or he/Karmen actually says he doesn’t have any friends, that it has never been true. It’s not about whether he physically has friends or not but his perception that he doesn’t. He basically has strong imposter syndrome and struggles to feel like one of the gang despite them ensuring him that he is. He doesn’t reach out to them when he should and they kind of take it as him distancing himself on purpose when in reality he’s got that RSD bad and I hope I conveyed well here that Steve does too. Both during this story and in the future they’re both as scared of being rejected as each other but Steve has other friends he believes love him whereas Eddie puts all of the gang (bar Dustin) in the same box and doesn’t trust any of them not to hurt him, especially when he’s at his worst mentally and struggling to even trust that Wayne loves him.

Part 11

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.  

Tag List: @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528 @stevemunsons

[munsonsreputation]

congrats on 500!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

i wanna request #4 with you’re on your own, kid and steve. he grew up not having many friends / not real friends and he’s kinda had to look out for himself since he was young, but now he finally has people, including a gf who cares about him v much and makes it v known that he’s not alone anymore (and who maybe grew up similarly? ). 🫶 maybe steve kinda has a hard time with it at first tho cuz abandonment / trust issues 💔

hi j!!!!!

im so sorry that this took so long for me to complete, but i hope i was still able to to your request justice!!! i 110% believe that steve harrington is yoyok coded and if he heard this song he would have a whole ass breakdown thinking about his life.

i had such a fun time writing this and it was really really heartfelt!!! i hope you love it and thank you so much for your support!!! 🧸🌃💘

Birthdays were never easy nor special for Steve Harrington, mostly because his parents never made it a big event or celebration to be getting older.

Instead, it was treated more as a lecture. His parents would bring him to a fancy restaurant. His mother would sit quietly, bowing her head as his father went on and on about how Steve needed to be more responsible so that he could work for his company.

Steve would have to patiently sit through two grueling hours of that dinner. Poking and prodding at his steak and mashed potatoes as he pretended to listen. There was no singing happy birthday. No making wishes or blowing out candles. No surprise presents or hugs from either of his parents. Just the mere reminder that getting older meant getting more miserable.

But at some point, his parents must have gotten the hint that their idea of a birthday celebration wasn’t appreciated nor wanted by their son. So instead of trying to make up for those lost years, they stopped trying all together. Awkwardly handing him a card full of cash—not that Steve wasn’t grateful for it, but simply a hug or even a genuine smile from them would have sufficed just as much.

So yeah, Steve’s birthday was never his favorite time of the year, but he vowed to make everyone else’s special.

He went big for everyone’s birthday. Full fledge themes and decorated houses. Whole sheet cakes with an immense amount of candles. Birthday hats and noisemakers. Messily wrapped, yet jaw dropping presents that he knew his friends were dying for.

All of Steve Harrington’s friends had the best birthdays because of him.

But his girlfriend…even better.

Steve threw you elaborate celebrations ever since you two had begun dating. Your favorite one so far is when he turned his parents’ home into a huge escape room for you and your friends. Everyone dressed up in their best outfits and roamed around the house, trying to find the clues he had planted hours ago. He pretended like he didn’t have any idea, not even giving you a single hint as you squeezed his hand and begged.

Eventually, though, you all figured it out, and then he gifted you a key to his home as one of the gifts. Your favorite gifts he had ever given you. Mostly because it allowed you to drop in and visit him whenever you missed him, but especially because it got you into his home to set up a birthday celebration of his own.

You knew Steve wasn’t fond of his own birthday. All of his friends knew it was a touchy subject, so they didn’t go all out, but you were more than determined to make up for all those years. Steve had made your birthday so special and you wanted to show him how loved he was.

“He’s here!” You screeched quietly, peeking away from the living room curtains completely dimming the space where you and your friends were hiding.

In order to properly execute Steve’s surprise party, he unfortunately worked his entire shift alone. Robin had called a few minutes after he clocked in with a convincing story of how she caught the cold just the night before. She even hung up the phone without greeting him a happy birthday, and though he hated his birthday, he missed the annoying greetings that his friends would offer countless amount of times until the clock struck midnight.

The only greeting he received today was from you, early in the morning, before he had gotten up and got ready for work. Your voice dripping with sweetness and palpable slumber as you serenaded him with happy birthday and told him that you loved him a million times. You reminded him of the “plans” you had made, for him to pick you up after work and go to a fancy restaurant a few minutes into town.

That was essentially the only thing keeping Steve going for the rest of his sad twenty-second birthday. The moment for him to finally see you face to face and pretend to endure a night full of annoying happy birthdays coming from his favorite girl, when it sounded the sweetest coming from you.

You listened as the keys jingled from the other side of the door and watched as the lock turned open, before hopping up from your spot on the floor, followed by the others.

“Happy Birthday, Stevie!”

The shouting filled the room, along with the noisemakers and whistles coming from you and his friends. The entire area decorated with balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling.

You, front and center with your arms expanded, greeting him with a smile big enough to take up the rest of your face. A party hat sitting perfectly at the top of your head as he made his way over with an exceptionally big smile on his face, enough to show his appreciation for the tricks he knew were up your sleeve.

“Babe!” you screeched with a laugh, draping your arms around his neck as he hoisted you a few inches off the ground and laid a kiss on your lips, thanking you for this.

You could feel the smile seeping from his face as he continued to kiss you. The kind of smile within a kiss where you can feel his teeth and lips just rest upon yours, taking everything in before he kissed you again.

“Break it up you two!” Robin joked, stretching the elastic of a party hat over Steve’s head and snapping it in place.

He winced dramatically, as you giggled, staying by his side as all his friends took the time to give him a hug and warm wishes.

For once in his life, his heart swarmed with a whirlwind of emotions for someone other than you who could evoke such a feeling. He loved his friends, he always had, but this was something that they did not only out of the kindness of their hearts, but with taking the chance, knowing that he wasn’t fond of his birthday.

The children seemed more excited than him, thrusting a messily wrapped box in his hands as they swarmed around you and him, “Here open it!”

“You’re supposed to wait until present time, idiots!” Eddie snickered, knowing exactly what was in the box and why the kids were so excited to present it to Steve in the first place.

Dustin flashed Eddie the middle finger from behind, keeping his eyes on his dearest babysitter with a toothy smile on his face, “Open it! You’re gonna love it!”

Steve looked at you, a grin on his face as you nodded and rested your hands on his shoulders when he began shredding away at the paper with ease. The pure expression, like a little kid opening the best present on Christmas morning flashing to your eyes as you watched him realize what it was.

A pair of sneakers that he had been eyeing since the footlocker displayed the shoe a few months ago. He’d been telling you that he was going to pull the trigger and buy it one of these days, but alas he never did. Just merely admiring the leather behind the glass of the store and walking past it as he clocked in and out of work.

Originally, you were planning on buying it for Steve’s birthday gift, but the kids seemed more adamant about wanting to band together in order to purchase the special gift for their one of a kind favorite babysitter.

“Holy shit…did you guys rob the footlocker?” He sought stunned, plucking up one of the pairs and inspecting the material.

El and Max both giggled, rattling their heads as they explained, “We all saved for the last couple of weeks. Me and El babysat Holly for a few bucks. Dustin and Lucas went around mowing lawns. And Will and Mike did a few car washes.”

“And what about me?” Eddie chided in again, as if he was the savior of this plan the children had hatched out.

Dustin groaned, turning around towards Eddie then back to Steve, “And Eddie gave us a ride to the mall to pick it up.”

Looking around the room at the knuckleheads he had babysat since his junior year of high school, they’d grown so much, and really were the kindest kids in Hawkins. Sure, they loved to give him a hard time now and then, but it was out of love, and doing something as nice as this—taking up what literally was part-time jobs to get him something as sentimental as this was everything to him.

He settled the box on the ground, opening his arms as he closed his eyes and nodded his head. “C’mere…c’mon.”

“Happy Birthday, Stevo.” El whispered, being the first of the kids who settled into his side and embraced him affectionately before the others followed suit.

Your heart warmed at the sight, taking in the precious moments like this where Steve really was the kind of man who was grateful for the little twerps that made his life a little more interesting. He never grew up with siblings himself, or really any family members around his age, and part of this felt like it was healing his inner child—the little Steve who craved for family that actually cared about him.

The hug only last a few seconds, but Jonathan managed to capture a photo that would definitely be framed and put on a shelf in Steve’s bedroom. When the children pulled away, and Steve reached under him for the box, he turned towards you.

“Gonna head upstairs and put these away. Can you come with me?”

You smiled, nodding your head, taking his free hand and following him up the steps and into his bedroom where he had shut the door. You took it upon yourself to take a seat on the end of his bed, watching his back while he shuffled through his closet, trying to find space for his new kicks.

“I’m kinda impressed the kids managed to save up all that money in a few weeks.” You laughed, resting on your elbows, as Steve didn’t respond.

What you couldn’t see were the tears welling up in his eyes, but you didn’t miss the small croak he had let out in an attempt to swallow off the sob.

“Babe, what’s the matter?”

Your voice was soft and soothing, taking you from his bed right to him, where you placed a comforting hand on his back and leaned forward to see more of him.

His eyes sealed tightly and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth to fight off the urge to just cry into your arms. He couldn’t pinpoint these emotions, and the first thing he thought in his mind was being angry at himself when he should be happy because his girlfriend and his friends did this amazing thing for him.

Steve shook his head, still not uttering a word, yet following you when you took his hand and sat the two of you on his bed. He felt the silly party hat come off his head where you pulled it off and did the same to yours.

“D-did the party upset you? I’m so sorry, Steve, I just wanted to plan something special because you also do something special for everyone else’s birthday.”

He couldn’t just let you sit there, assuming this was your fault because it wasn’t. And if anything, Steve was just so elated that this was even happening, but he was also so new to this kind of thing.

“No, no, it’s not your fault.” He captured your hand and swiped away at his tears with the other.

Your eyes wandered up to his face, giving his hand a firm squeeze when you searched his teary eyes, “You can tell me what’s the matter…I’m always here to listen.”

Steve knew you were always the shoulder he could cry on and the ears who would listen to his endless thoughts. He had opened up before about birthdays and how his were always difficult to face, so it wasn’t necessarily fresh news to you.

“I—I don’t feel alone.” He stammered a little ache in his speech, but swiftly dispelled with a slight smile.

You tilted your head sideways, trying to make sense of his words, “I don’t think I understand?”

Steve nodded, swallowing and taking a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts so that he wouldn’t spend an hour with you up here, venting about everything he was feeling.

“I guess, I never viewed my birthday as something special, you know?” He said, looking at you and you nodded, rubbing your fingers across his palm, calming him.

“I’d just used to sit at home and avoid my parents because they didn’t know how to handle my birthday either…but it’s like for the first time, I was actually glad that it was my birthday, to have you, and all my friends here for me.” He clarified.

You knew that there was still more he wanted to say, as he took a deep breath and squeezed your hand back, “I—I’m just terrified of losing it or…or even believing that so many people would care enough about me to want to celebrate me.”

He let out a shaky breath, tearing his eyes away from you and staring at his floor, trying to make sense of everything in his mind.

But suddenly you spoke, reached over to grab ahold of his hand where he looked back into your sparkling eyes.

“Steve, you have no clue how much me and the rest of our friends love you—you’re the rock of our friendships and our lives, basically.” You chuckled, watching as he shook his head in disbelief.

But you nodded, eyes going a little wide, and you started again.

“Seriously, I mean it. You’re the person who always organizes and plans everyones birthday party. You force the kids to make up when they’re all fighting over stupid shit. You’re the first person I call about good news, bad news, hell, all the news because you’re my rock and I care for you so much. More than words can even begin to describe.”

Your fingers loosened from his, instead holding his cheeks in his hand where you could feel the skin lift as he smiled against you. Those teary glossy eyes turned into the pools of happiness and warmth, staring back at his person.

You knew that Steve struggled a lot with accepting love, but you also knew that there was a part of Steve that always believed in loving everyone around him. You just needed to help him see that.

“I know your parents might not have been the best, but that’s the beauty of life…” Your thumbs swept across the high points of his face, and Steve swore he could feel your the pulse in your fingertips that rested, comfortable on the rest of his face.

“Because family doesn’t always have to be blood. Family can be the ones you choose to keep in your life, so even if at one point you felt like you were alone when you were a kid, you’re not anymore. Because I’m here, we’re here, and that’s something that no one can take away from you.”

Your voice and your words were like a calm wave meeting his shore of horrible childhood experiences that he had to endure all alone. Now suddenly washing all of that away. Your eyes gawking passionately into his was like another wave, this time leaving behind him with a shore that was fresh. New shells of memories embedded into the sand and for once in his life he let go.

Steve let go of all of that pent up anger and resentment, replacing it with contentment and hope. He knew that he probably would never have the greatest relationship with either of his parents, but he had you to look forward to. He had his chosen family that he knew would always be there no matter what.

For once, he felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulders from being afraid of embracing the people he loved and the same love they held for him. That this moment wasn’t too good to be true, it was just true. A moment that he wanted to take and taste forevermore.

“I love you.” He grinned, taking his hands and pulling you close enough to connect your lips.

Everything in the past that Steve let go was a new step he was taking, one where you would always hold him and stand by.

You breathed him in, appreciating Steve and everything that made him who he was. That today was a special celebration of showing the person you loved how grateful you were for him.

“I love you too, baby.”

When you pulled away, you clutched his hand, standing up and looking towards his door, then back at him. He could face this, and he was looking forward to facing the rest of his birthdays with a smile on his face.

Steve reached for the silly party hats, placing his back on, and laughing when he put yours on.

“Let’s get this party started.”

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[ash5monster01]

Perfect To Love Part 1

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 2,465

Intro ←→ Part 2

Masterlist

Beth liked Saturdays because she could make breakfast for her family while watching her VHS tapes of Muppet reruns. Nothing was better than a warm Saturday morning and Fozzie jokes. Then she would spend the day reading, lounging around the house, until she finally decided to go outside and work on her Corvette. She liked taking extra care of it, considering it was her pride and joy. The two toned blue corvette, cross fire fuel injection engine, electric seats and windows, with a hard top and glass top was her favorite thing in the world. It was only two years old, new from the factory, and if she was to ever lose it she would be heart broken.

So she liked to maintain it, keep it out of the sun, fresh and clean, and running perfectly every chance she got. If it didn’t need any of that she would roll the windows down and drive around the town with Billy Joel blaring from the speakers. Today was more than likely going to be one of those days considering she had kept the new car in pristine condition. She was busy checking all of the fluids when she felt a hand land on her shoulder, her practically jumping out of her skin. "Woah sorry Beth, I didn't mean to startle ya"

"Robin, what're you doing here?" Beth asked, a hand over her heart as it raced from the girl sneaking up on her.

"I wanted to see what you were up too tonight" she said, leaning against the car door. Beth's heart fluttered with nerves for a moment before remembering the car was just fine and Robin was careful. Well most of the time.

"Nothing, like always" Beth told her as she moved to drop the hood down, prepared to go for a ride.

"Well not tonight" Robin grinned, arms crossed and a devious grin plastered across her face.

"Robin I like doing nothing, please my weekends are my favorite" Beth started, walking around the car to get the the drivers side and Robin quickly turned around and looked at her over the roof of the car.

“Beth you have to get out there if you want people to know how cool you are” Robin urged, her hands falling onto the glass top of the corvette.

“Look Robin, I get you want me to be happy but I am fine. I’m content and I’m used to this” Beth told her, her hands gripping her car door.

“Look I’m not asking for you to come to some crazy High School party. It’s movie night with my friends, most of them are freshman. You have nothing to worry about” Beth sighed as she saw Robin’s pleading face. She knew her friend meant well, probably the only friend she really had.

“Just movie night?” Beth asked and Robin feverishly nodded as she realized she was wearing the girl down.

“Yes, you don’t even have to dress up. We all wear our pajamas even” Robin told her and Beth finally sighed and then nodded. A grin instantly broke across Robins face.

“Fine, but if at any point I want to leave you have to let me” Beth pointed at the girl and Robin nodded, raising a pinky in the air.

“Pinky promise” Beth forced a smile before reaching over the car and locking her pinky with her own. This could get interesting.

Beth was thankful for the leisure dress code. Meeting new people always required looking good and most of Beth’s clothes didn’t make her feel like she looked good. So the fact she could settle for some black sweatpants along with a green Hawkins High hoodie she was content. The baggy clothing could make her feel more secure and less noticeable in front of a new crowd. Robin had ended up hanging around, claiming she didn’t want to walk all the way back home, but Beth figured she just stayed because she wanted a ride in the corvette.

“Robin this is the rich neighborhood” Beth said as Robin continued to give her more directions. Beth had never dared driving in Loch Nora and now here she was. People like Colin Matterson lived in Loch Nora.

“It’s no big deal Beth, stay straight on this road” she urged her over the loud engine on the corvette. “This house here”

Beth didn’t recognize the house, other than the fact it was large with a huge red double door. It was dark except for a few lower rooms were lit and illuminating the grass outside. Then as she turned into the driveway she saw she was parked behind a maroon BMW. The only one in town.

“You brought me to Steve Harringtons house?” Beth hissed as she slammed the car in park. Quickly she pushed the button to drop the headlights and cut the engine before anyone noticed their arrival.

“Yeah, Steve’s cool” Robin said so nonchalantly she couldn’t believe that the girl couldn’t understand why Beth was freaking out.

“Steve is so not cool, he’s just like Colin” suddenly Beth was fumbling with the visor, dropping down the mirror, and adjusting the chocolate hair around her face.

“No he’s not and you would know that if you got to know him, come on” Robin pulled her keys from the ignition, leaving the car, and taking her only way of escape with her. Beth groaned and left the vehicle as well, rushing after her as they approached the doors and Robin began to knock.

“Open up dingus! We don’t have all night” a small gust of wind hit Beth as the double doors swung open, a broad shouldered, big haired, Steve Harrington standing on the other side. Steve’s eyes glanced to Robin before looking to the new girl, his eyes scanning her over quickly, a soft smile laid on his lips.

“Says the girl who usually lets herself in” Steve quipped finally looking back to Robin and Robin rolled her eyes.

“We have a guest, that’s not how we treat guests” Steve’s eyes fell upon Beth again and her stomach instantly filled with nerves. She wondered every thought going through his head. She prayed he wasn’t noticing how big she was, how he could wear her sweatshirt like a blanket. Yet all Steve noticed was her eyes were big and bright, innocently looking up at him like she was waiting for him to say something mean. His heart instantly softened.

“Hey Beth right?” Beth struggled to find the words for a moment, surprised the boy had even remembered her name.

“Yeah” she finally muttered and Robin smiled as she looked back to Steve.

“You gonna let us in?” as if Steve suddenly realized he hadn’t invited them in, he stepped out of the way allowing the two girls in the home.

“The kids are in the living room, they’re fighting over what to watch. I told them to figure it out by the time you guys got here” he told them as he shut the doors behind them. Beth took in the entire home, anxiety buzzing through her entire body. Suddenly Beth realized she would have to sit next to someone new, her size expanding like it did everytime she sat down. Maybe her clothes weren't as loose as she thought.

"Could I use your bathroom quick?" she piped up and both Robin and Steve looked to her.

"Yeah, of course. It's just down the hall and to your left" Beth nodded and quickly scurried off, Steve gave Robin a confused look and she just lifted her hands and shrugged before heading in the direction of the living room.

Beth looked into the mirror and realized there was nothing she could do to make herself smaller in the next few minutes. Sighing she tucked her elbows into her shirt and began to streth the material as much as she could. She was in Steve Harringtons house and he was going to think she was fat. She could never live with herself knowing that. Giving up she swung the door open just to see the boy had waited for her, leaned against the wall, perfect hair drooping over his forehead. He had grey sweatpants hung low on his hips and a black T-shirt on. For a moment she wished she was worthy of love from a guy who looked like that.

"You waited?" Beth found herself saying before she could think any better. Steve quickly moved off of the wall and stood up straight as he looked to the girl. He noticed she was quite short, her brown hair long and draped across her back.

"I didn't want you to get lost, Robin would kill me" he told her and Beth moved back down the hall, hating herself for even being attracted to a guy like Steve Harrington. He probably doesn't even remember what he did. He was just like all the others.

"Thanks" Beth muttered, dropping her head so she wouldn't have to look him in the eye any longer than she wanted too. Getting to know Steve, feeling close to him, learning things about him, she would end up falling hard and fast. Crushes on cute guys were usueless when you were her size so she saw no point in falling at all. She'd just have to find reasons to not like him. For starters what he did to her in High School.

"Do you want to help me grab the snacks?" he asked, a hand falling to the back of his neck. He was nervous Beth thought. Yet she couldn't understand why.

"Uh, sure" suddenly Beth was following him down another hall, and if you had told her two days ago she would be grabbing snacks with Steve Harrington in his house she would've told you, you were crazy.

"Robin told me you drive a new Corvette, that's pretty cool" Steve said as he broke open a chip bag and began to pour it into a bowl. Beth was not prepared for small talk, yet she couldn't be rude so against her better judgement she had to respond.

"Well she's two years old but yeah. She's right out front" Beth said as he pointed her thumb over her shouder, in the direction of the only thing that made her feel worth it these days.

"That's actually awesome. I always wanted a cool sports car" Steve told her, a small smile displayed on his lips. Beth hated herself for being attracted to the freckled boy, his chesnut locks, and cool smile.

"Cars have always been my thing, my Dad has been teaching me ever since I was little" Beth said, trying to get more comfortable in the presence of Hawkins High legend.

"I wish I knew stuff about cars" finally, a new reason to not like Steve Harrington.

Doesn't understand cars.

"I always wanted to learn though" his smile was sincere and Beth sighed as she realized her reason wasn't a reason at all.

Doesn't understand cars.

"It's easy once you get the hang of it" she told him, trying not to be shy because she truly wasn't. Yes she was insecure about her size, but shy? Not at all.

"Maybe you can teach me about it sometime" the implied notion of spending time together in the future instantly made Beth's stomach drop. Steve watched as he saw the girl actually deflate and he realized why Robin wanted this for her so badly. She couldn’t even believe he'd want to spend time with her. Hell he was friends with a bunch of kids, he could be her friend too.

"Let's go meet the others" Beth was glad he changed the topic and passed her a bowl of pretzels to carry to the living room. The closer they got the louder the hum of conversation was, but the group of rag tag teenagers were what she least expected in Steve Harringtons house on a Saturday night. “Kids say hi to Beth”

“Hi Beth” the chattering kids stopped to say before quickly going back to an argument.

“I told you we should watch Princess Bride” a boy wearing a hat bickered to a boy with jet black hair.

“Dustin, that movie is for little kids. I say we watch Children of the Corn” the black haired boy yelled back. Steve took a seat on the couch, leaving the only open spot left next to him. Beth nervously tugged on her sweatshirt before moving to sit beside him.

“Why don’t we let our guest pick” Steve suggested and suddenly the kids were silent, all looking to the girl with blinking eyes. She realized not once did they look at her like she was different.

“Um, what’re our options?” she asked and Steve smiled before reaching forward and grabbing the three tapes. Princess Bride, Children of the Corn, and Teen Wolf. She smiled softly at the cover of Michael J. Fox.

“Don’t worry about them, they get to rent movies for free because of us” Robin said as she flicked a piece of popcorn at the kid named Dustin.

“How about Teen Wolf, it’s a happy medium” without question Steve smiled and picked the tape from her hands to put in the TV.

“Teen Wolf it is” he grinned and the black haired kid let out a huff as he crossed his arms.

“Don’t mind Mike, his panties are in a twist because his girlfriend moved to California” a red headed girl leaned over to whisper to Beth. “I’m Max by the way”

“Nice to meet you” Beth smiled to her and the girl nodded to the three boys. “That’s Dustin, Mike, and Lucas and you obviously know Robin and Steve”

“Is that your corvette out there?” Lucas asked and Beth nodded. “That’s so cool, could you give us a ride sometime?”

“Uh, sure” Beth said with a chuckle, confused as to why none of them commented or looked at her differently because of her size. Had she gone about assumptions all wrong? Was it possibly not every teenager in Hawkins was bad?

The kids continued to ask Beth questions about her car and her interests. Steve and Robin could both tell she was getting more comfortable the more they talked and seemed interested in her. Robin knew this would be good for her, and Steve wondered why anyone could be mean to a girl like Beth. Yet he was friends with Tommy and Carol a long time and he remembered moments he wished he could erase where he was included in something so terrible he’d wince thinking about it. That’s why he forced a lot of it from his memory. He knew he couldn’t take any of those moments back but maybe becoming friends with Beth would redeem him just a little bit.

Tag list: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @alexa-33 @bethanysnow

comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

a/n: Fourth of July weekend is the busiest weekend of my life but I knew I couldn’t make you guys wait until the 5th so here is the first part, a small taste of what’s to come, I hope you enjoy and I will see you all after the holidays 🩷 also I’m trying to write this with thoughts I have as a plus size girl myself. if in anyway it is triggering to you I apologize, almost every thought in my life usually revolves around worries about my size, writing them is difficult so I’m sure reading them is too. we have to remember we are all perfect in our own ways <3

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Am I the only one to think Natasha is very rich woman if not a billionaire even though she never shows that to anyone not even Clint knows the extent of her riches and uses conveniently Stark's resources. After she starts dating wanda, she would secretly change stark issued credit card for wanda by hers bc she doesn't want her partner to use another person's money, she would drown wanda with expensive jewelry and gifts even though wanda is a simple girl, she would buy anything wanda so much so mentions in a fleeting moment with over the top amounts. Her actions bother wanda in a loving way so she complains about it to Sam or Steve one day, they would be surprised bc nat never used Stark's money to that extent except maybe for ammunition never for personal stuff, that makes her doubtful so she goes reluctantly to tony asking him to trace nat's spendings but he couldn't find anything suspicious. The expensive gifts continue so one day she decides to confront nat about her suspicions, bc nat immediately noticed tony tracing her ( an excellent hacker herself) she have been meaning to come clear to wanda even though she cherished her secrets, she tells her the secret, Wanda then teases her "so now you're my sugar momma?" and "I can't believe I beat a spy at her game and find out her secret all by myself" Natasha is properly grumpy about the second one. To properly say sorry for keeping things from wanda even though wanda is ok with it, she takes her to one of her secret warehouses that not even Clint knows on a beautiful island, she probably owns in the middle of the night just to mess with the boys.They get up the next morning with no trace of the 2 woman, after a while they start worrying (wanda almost never leaves the compound and if she does she tells Steve bc he's a mother hen). They go on a searching spree thinking of worst scenarios, after a while nat hacks into Tony's system just to mess with him (he really hates when she does that bc he likes to think his system is invincible) telling him "relax shell head we have gone on a vacation", tony retaliates " do you realize you have just given up one of your super secret spy safehouse to me now" knowing her secrets are sacred to her and "how did this island escape me, I am gonna have to talk to pepper, I can't believe she missed this gorgeous island" she replies"I trust you " which she even surprises herself to admit that but bc neither of the two were never good with emotions she deflects "now shut it you incessant radio and stop bothering me, I have got a goddess waiting for me to please, don't you dare do anything stupid, you know I don't threaten vainly" still in the haze of that admittance he replies" yeah yeah go ahead and enjoy your little honeymoon, you will not be missed dracula" He then lets the other boys sit with their worries for a bit and stops vision from telling them bc vision found out too, it's only after tony sees them all gearing up, that he eventually tells them. Sam vowed to retaliate for this prank while Steve was planning on dumping his work on nat.

|Sorry, I am annoying and pathetic, sorry to that other person I sent this too, I couldn't resist messing with you|

Omg i LOVE THIS!!!

I mean considering she's an Avenger, was a former assassin that has connections here and there I can definitely see it. Hell for all we know she could own a business at one point-

There's a lot of ways to make money, and as we know Natasha knows... well everything i guess.

She would in fact, without a doubt shower Wanda with gifts. That reminds me of one of those capcut tiktok template where it goes;

Wanda: Ok, detka! Are you ready to exchange gifts?

Natasha: Yesss. I'll go first.

Wanda: Okiee :>

Natasha: It's not much, but its the thought that counts <3

Wanda: Awee-

Natasha: I got you 10 pairs of Dior sneakers, a moose knuckles cuz it's getting cold, and an Iphone 13 Pro Max.

Wanda: I... what-

Natasha: I know, it's not much I'm sorry but... Oh- OH, I also got you a Benz and a mansion.

Wanda:

Natasha: Ok your turn :>

Wanda:

Wanda: *pulling out a flower and teddy bear dressed as black widow*

Natasha, gasp: OMG babeee I love it!

[acciotherapists]

Far From Home (Chapter 54: Jealousy)

Loki x Reader

Y/n Y/l/n never thought her past would come back to find her. After all who would look for her on Midgard? But one day in the small town of Puento Antiguo her world is turned upside down when an old friend turns up, threatening everything she has built and the people she’d fought so hard to protect. What happens when the life she left behind finally catches up with her? What happens when the old flame she thought had burned out reignites within her?

Warnings: language (sorry, Steve), eventual smut (slow burn), angst, some mentions of torture (most things won’t be detailed but anything that gets a bit more specific will be warned at the beginning of the chapter)

Wong led us to a few spare rooms as my mind raced with fear. Had I caused this? Had I brought this about by bringing the Maximoffs back with us? Maybe Hydra should’ve just killed me.

Wong reminded us when dinner took place before leaving us to talk and closing the door behind him.

Wanda crossed her arms over chest, taking a seat near the window as Loki and Tony turned to me.

“You want to explain what’s going on here?” Tony asked.

He must’ve seen the confused look on my face as he rolled his eyes and spoke again. “What this place is? Who that man was? Why you seem so afraid? Why the little witch over there hasn’t said a word? Your apparent history with a student here? Any of the above?”

I rolled my eyes. “First of all he was 26 when we met. Calling him a student makes it sound weird.” I shuddered. “This is Kamar-Taj. I came here when I first escaped Hydra. I’d heard of it being a safe place for people who had nowhere to go. They set me up with my first home and my first identity: Zoe. The Ancient One also put me in contact with Alex, who’s been able to get me new identities if I need to run… which has happened occasionally. Alex never asked questions and the Ancient One trusted her… so I did too. I met Stephen Strange when I was living in New York and we sort of became friends. He didn’t ask questions, which I liked, he was decent at conversation, and it was good to have a doctor in your arsenal if the need ever arose… which it did.”

Loki raised a brow and I explained.

“Alex was meeting me at our old spot when one of Hydra’s soldiers found us. She got shot in the shoulder and was losing a lot of blood. She was barely in her 30s then. I killed the soldier but since I couldn’t use my magic… she was bleeding out. I called Stephen and he was only a few minutes away having a coffee… He saved her life that day.” I looked toward the door, lost in the memory. “He didn’t ask questions. He knew there were things I couldn’t talk about and he didn’t push the issue. I thought Alex would hate me after what happened that day but she was grateful to Stephen and I… And I guess she finally understood why I was running.”

“Were you two ever… together?” Loki asked and I shook my head.

“I never saw any point in starting a relationship when I knew I’d always be on the run… besides I never really got over a certain childhood friend.”

He smiled softly. “But if you weren’t on the run…?”

“The answer would’ve been the same. Stephen and I just worked as friends. He was more of a brother to me and I never saw him as anything more than that.”

“But did he see you as a sister?”

“Of course he did.”

“That’s not what it looked like.”

His voice seemed almost cold and I sighed, breaking his gaze as my eyes settled on Wanda. Her hands were glowing faintly as they clasped her arms in front of her chest. Her knees were pulled to her stomach and her gaze was lost out the window.

“Shit.”

Loki turned to see what I was looking at as I rushed over to Wanda. I wanted to hug her but I feared it may startle her so I sat in front of her. 

“Wanda…”

She didn’t move.

I cautiously placed my hand over hers. I expected her to jump but she simply turned and looked at me, her eyes filled with tears.

“W-what am I?”

“My friend.” I squeezed her hand. “You are Wanda Maximoff. You are an incredible young lady who saved my life.” I took her hands in mine but we quickly pulled away as they glowed purple and the room shook around us.

“Norns,” Loki whispered, looking between the two of us. “It’s both of you.”

I rushed to explain. “No! W-we’ve hugged before! I’ve held her hand before and it’s never done that.” I feared what they would do to her if they learned the truth. It was bad enough she was working for Hydra. If they knew she was the Scarlet Witch… I feared what they would do.

“The magic… it’s the same as in the photo.”

“Loki,” I warned as the glow in Wanda’s hands grew brighter.

There was a loud knock on our door and Tony opened it to see Wong rush into the room.

“Is everyone alright in here?”

I looked at him confused. “We’re fine. Wong, what’s going on?”

“There was just an Earthquake of some sort… but only this wing felt it.”

His eyes found Wanda’s glowing hands, widening as he looked around the room.

“Y/n… what have you brought here?” He shook his head sadly.

“It’s not what you think! I didn’t know! She’s a good kid, Wong. She’d never hurt anyone.”

“The Ancient One once said that about Kaecilius… and he nearly destroyed our reality.”

A small sob escaped Wanda’s lips.

“That’s enough, Wong,” I hissed as an icy wind flooded the room. I turned to Loki.

“What do you need, darling?” he asked softly.

“I- I can’t touch her… I can’t hold her. I need you to hold her… if she’ll let you.”

He nodded. “Of course, my love.” He cautiously approached Wanda. “Hey, little witch.” He placed a hand on her arm and she looked up at him.

“We’re still here for you, little witch. We’re not going anywhere.”

“It’s me, Loki… I’m the Scarlet Witch.”

“And Y/n is the Sapphire Witch. We love her all the same. If she could hug you right now she would but we can’t risk another quake. We have to get your emotions in check, yeah?”

She nodded and I smiled at their interaction. He was treating her like family, which was what she needed in this moment. She needed to know we weren’t going to turn our back on her. He held her hands and the glow slowly dissipated.

Now that I knew she was okay I needed to get answers.

“Stay with her. I need to do something.”

Loki furrowed his brow but nodded nonetheless and I left the room, Wong following closely behind. 

“Y/n, what are you going to do?”

“I have to make a phone call.” I turned to him. “I need you to get me all the books you can on the history… and potential future of the Scarlet and Sapphire Witches.”

He nodded. “Of course. I shall have them brought to your room. Anything else?”

“No need. I’ll take them in the library.”

He nodded and I pulled out my phone, dialing Pietro.

*********

Taglist: @nelachu2423 @purplekitten30@lokisprettygirl22@midnights-ramblings@huntress-artemiss@lokis-little-love @lokis-tigress @the-archangel-in-asgard@crimson25@thedistractedagglomeration

[thestobingirlie]

I love reading fics where Steve is disabled, be it hard of hearing, seizures, chronic migraines, like he's had too many concussions not to have any issues from it. (I think its because I have a neurological disability and Steve is my comfort character, so projecting.)

But something that really gives me the ick is I've noticed a lot more ST fic recently have been handling disabled characters in a really ableist way (100% not all, just noticed more) and quite often they're just infantilising the disabled characters. I've noticed this the most when Steve is disabled, because I mostly read Steve-centric fics, but I have also noticed it with Robin and Eddie.

I've been seeing a lot of other characters addressing Steve and Robin as if they were toddlers when they are written as disabled, in ways that no adult should speak to anyone who is over the age of 5. Especially when Steve is written in a post-seizure state, or Robin is having a panic attack. Like, they might not be fully aware, but they are not children.

Sometimes, its other characters treating Steve as if he is incapable of doing anything on his own if he is disabled. As if the only things he can do without constant supervision is lie in bed or sit on a couch and watch tv. I saw one fic where others scolded him for getting out of bed to go to the bathroom without asking for help, and it wasn't as if he was recently injured or fresh out of a seizure, he was in pretty good health aside from being at risk of seizures.

With Robin, I've seen her written as if she needs to be treated like a fragile 2 year old otherwise she is in a constant state of panic attack and is always totally useless, and I've seen people use this sort of attitude to write her out of the high stress situations. Or she will just always go off on unrelated tangents so she isn't useful because she interrupts the people who know what they're talking about. Or she's written as if her rambling is a liability and she can't be trusted because if she got caught she'd 100% tell the bad guys everything.

And with Eddie I've noticed some people who write him as autistic (I love autistic and ADHD Eddie) seem to have him just constantly biting people like he is a nonverbal three-year-old who has figured out that their easiest way to communicate is by using their teeth. And it always with the attitude "it doesn't matter if he hurts people by biting them because it is his method of self-regulating."

(And no, I do NOT accept the billy stans who claim that it is ableist to talk about the bad things he's done. like, no that man is not canonically disabled (I've seen billy stans say he is canonically bipolar or has bpd? Like no.), he is canonically racist and abusive. even if he was canonically disabled that isn't an excuse for his behavior. also, I know people that have bipolar or bpd, and they arent racist and abusive. in fact they are some of the most careful people about what they can control of their behavior because they are worried about becoming abusive to their loved ones).

sorry this is really disjointed and probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to get it off my chest. and I just love your blog!

and i love you, random tumblr user! but yeah, always feel free to just drop thoughts into my inbox, i’ll try and sort through them lmao

i enjoy reading fics where steve’s injuries have repercussions too. though it definitely isn’t always written well.

i think because the duffers ignore his injuries so much, people kinda go into hyperdrive and over-acknowledge them, almost. i think it also comes from wanting steve to be as angsty as possible, which means people don’t treat his disability’s very… nicely? they usually just use his conditions to ruin his life and make him miserable, and infantilise him, like you said.

i honestly think people just know fuck all about seizures, and cannot be bothered to look it up, but still want steve to experience them so they can make him as sad and depressed as possible.

they see seizures as this, like, life-ending condition, and so use them to kinda destroy steve’s life.

i think a lot of people also use his disabilities to get steve cared for, because we all want people to take care of the poor boy. but again, they just over-do it, and make it seem like he’s a little baby that can’t do anything.

i honestly don’t think most of these people are doing this from a place of harm. i think they honestly want to depict steve experiencing these things and being comforted etc. they’re just kinda ignorant.

i am very lucky that i haven’t seen fics that treat robin like that, because i honestly think i’d explode lol.

and yeah, the biting thing was kinda funny at first, and then it got kinda weird… people just see a fandom joke and do what fandoms always do, which is drag it out, and make it so extreme it’s barely recognisable as the original idea.

(yeah, with no character should you excuse their actions with a mental illness. like, billy’s abuse explains why he is the way he is, but it doesn’t excuse it. even when you have a mental illness you can’t just use that as an excuse to treat people like crap, and they’re entitled to call you out for doing so.)

[mississpissi]

i started writing this in the tags on bulk's post but i got pretty off topic so i'm just gonna put it here.

whenever theres a conflict in night vale, i like think about whats going on in the real world. finknor are really really good at satirizing very real and heavy issues and somehow finding ways to bring out the beauty and awe and community that can exist no matter how bleak things seem- it’s a huge part of what i love about wtnv.

this arc and janet specifically is so interesting to me because of exactly this. 

i think part of why we're so obsessed with lubelle as a villain is bc we KNOW she's the villain. we can see her disrupting the town and using her language and “logical explanations” to get rid of things she doesn't like- to get rid of that which makes her uncomfortable. its satisfying for us to hear cecil call for the town to shut her out! its satisfying to hear of the town storming her campus, confronting her and calling her out as being in the wrong! its satisfying to know that, by the end of this season, things will be resolved in some way that leaves us feeling hopeful. that things might look different, that dynamics might change and characters will have changed, but that there is some sort of resolution coming. 

it’s also heartbreaking (though very fun from strictly a storytelling perspective) to see that the efforts cecil and the town have made so far aren’t working. it’s heartbreaking to hear cecil be at such a loss as to what he can do, to try to avoid violence for carlos’ sake, to feel hopeless. to watch him put his trust and hope in someone who is promising freedom from janet's tyranny only for that to be shattered.

sometimes i wish i could go grab a pitchfork and storm on the people who are trying to explain away the existence of people i love. i would be lying if i said i didn’t sometimes feel at a loss as to what i can do- as to what authority figures i can trust, where i can put my hope. sometimes i want to yell on public radio for everyone to shut out the hateful, hurtful people in power. sometimes i feel paralyzed like i imagine carlos has in this arc. i don’t know that there will be a neat resolution to everything going on in the world right now, but i am trying to remember that there ARE people taking action. that there are people trying to make the world a better place, who want good for everyone around them. that there ARE people marching and yelling for change. that there IS beauty and awe and good and community no matter how bleak things feel. idk. i might be projecting too much here but also isn’t that what art and story is all about? just… i love this narrative bc its fun and exciting, but also bc it is such a brilliant mirror being held up to world rn. and now im gonna go back to hoping cecil is kidnapped and so so sad and scared and hoping that steve carlsburg will use his hope and love of his community and unique knowledge and perspective to save the day. or carlos or whatever. sorry im so insane ab this little podcast.

[apuckishwit]

Steddie- “I don’t think I like where this is going.”

*stares at the Word doc this is on*

Ummmm....oops?

I...I am very sorry for this. No one dies, that's all I'm saying. Also, this will be continued in like three parts I think because this bunny grew TEETH.

It ends when they close the Upside Down for good.

Of course it does. It was always going to end here, wasn’t it? Somehow, some way, it was always going to end here…from the very moment Will was first pulled down into this hellscape, they’ve all just been slowly making their way towards this very moment. There was never any other choice. He’s known that, deep down inside, for longer than he wants to admit.

The plan seems to be working, is the thing. No major surprises, no hiccups, no sudden changes, no need to scramble and improvise. Perhaps he should be nervous, but all he can think is that they might actually pull it off. They might actually put Vecna/Henry Creel/One/Whatever in the ground for good, might be able to close the gates once and for all and finally get their lives back.

He and Eddie are part of the diversion team—them, Robin and Nancy, Jonathan and his friend Argyle, Joyce Byers and Murray Bauman, along with someone named Agent Stinson and a small group of government spooks sent by some doctor that Hopper seems to more or less trust. They’ve split up along the gates that burst up into Hawkins all those months ago, causing general mayhem with government-issued firebombs and guns that had made Nancy smile in grim satisfaction. They’re not trying to cause any real damage—just enough to split Vecna’s focus, make him concentrate on shoring up his boundaries. Anything to give Eleven an advantage while she and Will (the only ones of the kids that are allowed anywhere near this fight and only because there’s no other choice…Steve was ready to die on that hill, but fortunately so were Hopper and Joyce) make their final stand with Hopper and the rest of the mysterious Dr. Owens’s soldiers backing them up.

He and Eddie are back-to-back at the edge of the Upside Down version of the trailer park, a circle of destruction around them. Neither of them had liked the idea of coming back here—where Eddie had almost lost his life, where Steve had almost lost his goddamn mind trying to stem the bleeding while Dustin sobbed and screamed and begged him to do something, Steve, please you gotta save him!. But they needed distractions at as many of the gates as possible, and he and Eddie know the area best. They had the best chance of escaping somewhere else if things went south. So. The trailer park it is.

“How much longer you think?” Eddie gasps, one hand leaving the barbed wire-wrapped club he’s got clutched in his hands to scrabble back against Steve’s hip. Steve grabs his wrist, intertwines their fingers. They’re both breathing hard, both bruised and dirty…but no major wounds. No blood.

He glances down at the watch still gamely wrapped around his wrist. “Ten minutes ‘til evac.” He glances up into the sky, watching for clouds of bats in the brief bursts of red lightning. The dogs came for them earlier—a whole pack of them, and Steve had breathed thanks to whoever was listening for the way Nancy pulled him and Eddie into the woods days before the final assault and drilled them on the weapons the government provided, made them shoot at target after target until she was satisfied that they could hold their own. They’d managed to take out the largest part of the pack before the things were on them before resorting to the club and Steve’s trusty nailbat.

The dogs were the worst of it. They haven’t seen any Demogorgons, haven’t seen any of the bats (they’d both agreed, at the first sight of the bats, they were retreating—Steve had made Eddie promise over and over that he wasn’t going to try and be a hero this time). They’ve done their part. Now it’s just a waiting game.

They feel it when El and Will succeed.

A tremendous crack, like thunder but a thousand times louder, splits the air. The ground trembles under their feet, and the vines choking the trailers and yards around them start writhing and shaking. Distant shrieks like dying animals sound, an eerie echo in the air. Forks of red lightning lance across the sky like strobe lights. The ground heaves again and Steve loses his balance, tipping back over into Eddie, who winds his arms around his waist and steadies him.

“Easy there! Think that’s our cue, baby,” he says, not letting go until Steve has his feet back under him. Even then, he doesn’t let go of his hand. Steve squeezes back. The ground shudders again, and Steve just nods.

“Yeah, time to go.” As if in agreement, the radio clipped to the front of his jacket crackles to life, Hopper’s voice ordering everyone to get to their pre-arranged evac points.

“Hop! The kids?” Joyce’s voice comes over the line, and Steve holds his breath until Hopper answers.

“They’re fine! It’s over…it’s all over as soon as we get out of here.”

Eddie lets out a huff of air that might be laughter, presses his forehead against Steve’s shoulder before darting up to kiss him soundly. “We did it,” he breathes. “We fuckin’ did it!”

Still hand in hand, they turn and race for the shell of Eddie’s trailer, and the gate that will take them home.

And that is where it all goes wrong.

*

It starts after the Russians.

His bruises fade, the damn near permanent ringing in his right ear—that he’s been dealing with since Hargrove caved his face in—settles back to a manageable level, and his ribs stop screaming at him when he twists too far to one side. He just…keeps getting headaches. Not quite full-blown migraines—they don’t take him out completely—but frequent, chronic headaches.

Frequent enough that he starts keeping a bottle of Tylenol and a pair of sunglasses in his glovebox. Frequent enough that he learns to recognize the very earliest symptoms of “a headache day.” Frequent enough that Robin, when she notices (and really, she notices scarily quickly, he’s not used to being seen the way Robin sees him), drags him to the library and spends almost three hours looking up possible side effects of frequent concussions, cross-referencing them with Steve’s experiences.

Then they spend a whole shift at Family Video making up a list of possible headache triggers for him to experiment with.

He doesn’t drink anything with caffeine in it anymore, Robin has been making him keep a damn food journal so they can start figuring out if anything in his diet is a trigger (it’s actually been really helpful, but it feels too much like homework for him not grumble about it), and he’s been trying to unfuck his sleep schedule.

The last is the problem—his sleep schedule has been fucked up since the night he got it in his head to go apologize to Jonathan Byers and walked into a horror movie.

He tries everything—he sets a rigid bedtime schedule, he works out in the evenings to tire himself out, he drinks the tea Robin steals from her kitchen for him (that turns out to be pretty nice…it doesn’t really help him sleep, but he finds it soothing anyway and keeps drinking it at night), but nothing really keeps the nightmares at bay except hard liquor or the little blue pills he finds left in his mother’s medicine cabinet from the last time his parents were in town.

And Steve knows the road both of those solutions lead down. Has two perfect examples. He has no desire to live his life swinging between sloshed and hungover like his father, nor does he want to drift around in a haze of Vicodin and “nerve pills” like his mother. Besides.

After the Russians, after that godawful shit they injected him and Robin with, he can’t stand the thought of being that out of control, that incapacitated again. But Robin really thinks getting more uninterrupted rest will help his headaches. And apparently popping Tylenol like candy can lead to stomach problems even if he is very careful not to take more than the recommended daily dose, so there’s that. There’s plenty else in his life trying to give him ulcers without adding fuel to the fire.

In desperation, he finally takes one of his few days off from Family Video (his father started putting money in his account every month again after Starcourt burned, but he doesn’t trust dear old Dad’s generosity anymore…that money goes directly into a separate savings account he opened and he funds his day to day expenses with his own paycheck) to drive the familiar route to the high school. He parks at the far end of the student lot, and tramps his way around the baseball field towards the wooded area that butts up against the school’s property.

He's never been to the little clearing with its old picnic table himself—Munson was discreet, but he’d still never cared to find out what his dad would do to him if Steve actually got caught buying from the local drug dealer. Usually he just passed a wad of bills to Tommy or one of the other members of the basketball team and let them handle buying the favors for his parties. Everyone knows where it is, though, and roughly what times Munson can be counted on to be there. Seniors have study hall the last period of the day, and only like ten percent of the population actually sits in the library and studies.

He sits himself down at the picnic table, closing his eyes and tipping his head back to enjoy the late September sun. He’s only been there for about ten minutes when he hears heavy, careless footsteps entering the clearing from the same direction he came. Instantly, his eyes fly open and he clocks the approach—the footsteps sound perfectly human, but this summer taught them that’s not necessarily a guarantee of safety.

It's just Munson, though, chains dangling from the belt loops of his ripped jeans and a logo of a band Steve has never even heard of decorating his long-sleeved t-shirt. A plain metal lunchbox dangles from one hand. He falters when his eyes land on Steve, his eyes widening sightly.

“Harrington?” he asks, surprise plain in his voice.

He tilts his head, suspicion replacing the surprise pretty quickly. Steve tries not to be offended. He and his old crew had mostly left Munson alone—not exactly a good idea to piss off the guy supplying you with illegal substances after all—but ‘mostly’ is not ‘totally.’ Steve’s pretty sure he never did anything personally to Munson…but he was probably friends with someone who did, and it’s not like Steve had ever tried to stop any of his buddies when they started in on someone.

“Hey,” he says, a touch awkwardly. Munson looks him up and down again, his eyes hard and wary, before cautiously sitting down across from him.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of such illustrious company?” Munson says, and Steve has no idea what illustrious means, but judging by the tone he doesn’t think it’s meant to be flattering. Munson doesn’t look like he’s going to turn around and leave, though, so he ignores the (probably) insult.

“You still sell?” he asks, and then kind of wants to smack his own forehead. Of course Munson still sells, that’s the entire point of this.

Munson lets out a little snort of laughter, and his shoulders relax a little. He laces his fingers together and rests his chin on them. “Well, I don’t hang out here for the ambiance, Harrington.” Munson smirks at him, and Steve resists the urge to roll his eyes.

Don’t piss off the guy supplying you illegal substances. It’s, like, rule one.

“I need weed,” he says, getting right to the point.

He doesn’t…he doesn’t really want to use anything. Not anymore. But Robin’s been right about the caffeine and the food journal and everything, and if she says finding a way to unfuck his sleeping will help, he’s willing to give it a shot. He doesn’t want to use alcohol, he doesn’t want to use his mom’s pills, and he sure as shit is not going to draw his parents’ attention back to him by going to a doctor for something more legitimate. Weed is the best compromise he can come up with. Just enough to mellow him out a little, without feeling out of control the way he did with the Russian shit.

Munson perks up a little. “Ooh, King Steve finally throwing another rager? Not gonna lie, man, my profit margin took a pretty big hit when you stopped those.”

Steve frowns. God, he hates that name. “What? No…uh, no. This is just for me.”

Munson tips backwards a little, placing his hands down on the picnic table to drum his fingers against the weathered wood. “Really now? Not that I’m not flattered you came to little ole’ me after all this time…but why after all this time? Whoever else you’ve been getting your stuff from get picked up?” He sounds like he’s teasing, now, but there’s something genuinely curious in his voice.

Already exasperated, and feeling the beginnings of another headache creeping around the edges of his brain, Steve sails straight past all the bitchy replies he could fire off. “Look, dude, everyone knows you don’t run your mouth to the wrong people and you don’t cut your stuff with anything dangerous and I need…” He stops, not having meant to be quite that truthful. “You want to make some money or what?” he snaps, not liking how still Munson has gone, not liking the way Munson’s dark eyes are boring into his.

“Someone give you a bad trip?” Munson asks quietly and fuck if he doesn’t actually sound a little concerned.

Steve can’t help the bitter laugh that bubbles up. Bad trip. He thinks of fists crashing against his face, ropes cutting into his wrists, the sickening fear of thinking he and Robin were both going to die in that bunker. If only it had just been a bad trip. “Something like that,” he mutters.

“Well shit,” Munson says, drumming his fingers on the tabletop again, the truly absurd number of rings he’s wearing flashing in the early fall sunlight. After a moment, he nods to himself. “All right, Harrington, how much you want?”

Steve tries not to sag in relief. Judging by the way Munson’s eyes sharpen again, he doesn’t quite succeed. “I dunno…I’d just like to smoke a joint before bed. Pretty, uh pretty regularly?”

Munson pins him with another sharp look, but then he relaxes, a slightly manic grin settling on his face. “Regular supply, huh? Oh, I think I like where this is going.” He plunks the lunchbox down on the picnic table.

[kazamasthings]

tekken characters and short relationship headcanons

characters: christie monteiro, jun kazama, sergei dragunov and jin kazama

christie monteiro

our beloved christie is a very cheerful and positive person! she is always seen fighting for other people and never for revenge or to just harm someone for no reason, it makes me think that she she would be a lover who would always put her lover's needs above her own. christie genuinely cares about you. she always tries to cheer you up if your down but if you just want a hug its ok her hugs are the best in the world. as a brazilian, christie will obviously take you to brazil. she's always like "honey, you're gonna love it when you try coxinha with guarana for the first time". if you watch the world cup together and you don't support brazil she will be upset (until the match ends)

jun kazama

this woman deserves all the best in the world. she is a sweetheart! jun is such a loving woman with such a big heart, but at the same time she is also very strong and mature. a relationship with her will always be covered in love and understanding. jun is always there for you, she can tell what youre feeling just by looking at each other and then she'll give you the best advice and then the sweetest kiss ever. I also see jun as someone who likes to present you with self-made gifts, like lovely, smelling letters... she definitely wants to adopt a pet with you!

sergei dragunov

ok if you think he is a man who is merciless to his enemies who serves his country above all else and takes pride in it...you are totally right! but who says even the cold sergei can't fall in love? he has a strong personality but inside he is kind to you! if you like to cook and welcome him with your favorite dish after a long period of work, you will melt his heart. sergei is someone serious And he wouldn't enter a relationship without being sure he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life. his favorite cuddling time is when he's with you on a cold winter day, he makes you hot drinks and snuggles up to watch a good musical. he really appreciates music and enjoys singing to you. he also writes poems while he is away from you and gives you when you meet again. you have a box of his poems.

jin kazama im sorry but im a jin, hwoarang and steve fox enthusiast so i always want to write about one of them or all of them hahaha

this poor babe has serious trust issues so if he got into a relationship with you it's because he completely trusts you. don't break his trust! during part of his life he can live well and happily with his mother, he learned to love, so some part of him still wants to love and romance. jin is destroyed inside because he was betrayed by people who should love him, so he is insecure about showing his feelings, in fact he doesnt even know how. he carries a heavy burden, but you've always been so good to him... even if he has the blood of a demon, you still love him and tell him, that's why he looks at you with so much love. he is filled with hope when he thinks of you. jin kazama's thoughts while looking at you: i need to end this hatred to make a better world for everyone, but especially for you.