#☆ㅤ🪐 writings

[stayconnecteed]

❪⠀🪐. hot chocolate⠀𓏔⠀bangchan⠀❫

☆ㅤbarista!bangchan x afab!reader ( i wanna be yours oneshots )⠀★⠀9.1k words

( i'm sorry if this sucks, i know it's long. have a nice day cuties ♡ )

synopsys: every time you tell someone that you don't like coffee, the reaction is total incomprehension, even indignation. but when your university classmates leave you standing at the café where your crush works, you decide to order a coffee to try to avoid looking bad and end up making a fool of yourself. warnings: i think fluff bangchan needs a warning by itself because woah you can become addicted. but a part from that, there's a brief mention of death while talking about korean mithology, reader is a very introverted and insecure person ーexpect a lot of sad thoughts :(( but felix is here to save the day and hopefully the rest of the story is a little bit of idiots who have a crush on each other.

You were stressed because the first semester was about to end, you had Christmas vacations around the corner, exams approaching at an overwhelming speed, and yet one of your teachers had given you two last-minute projects, one practical and one theoretical. Luckily it was in groups, and your best friend, Hyunjin, had included you in his after a quick pleading glance, assuring you some peace of mind. Not that he was very good at the academic aspect ーnotes, exams, homework and studying in generalー, but he made up for it with a great sense of aesthetic, and managed to make all your projects really visually appealing. Also, your other two friends were very nice and very good at the subject, so whenever you didn't understand something they would always offer to explain it to you with a big smile and kind words.

If they had a flaw, unfortunately, it was being late absolutely everywhere. And perhaps an unhealthy addiction to coffee, although that was not so much a flaw as a general characteristic of the vast majority of students. Sadly, neither of the two suited you at the moment, when you found yourself in front of the most famous coffee shop on the entire campus, all by yourself, after you had been forced to walk more meters than you were willing to do on a normal day, as they didn't show up at the appointed time. Having to enter without his company was not what worried you, but what you would have to face once inside.

To say you hated coffee would be an exaggeration. In fact, during exam week you would have a couple of cups to avoid falling asleep over your notes on those endless nights of studying, or in the middle of class, but it just wasn't your favorite flavor. You hated the taste. Too bitter, the unpleasant aftertaste instantly drying your mouth and lingering on your tongue as an annoying reminder of the beverage you had just tasted. You always grimaced terribly when you took your first sip, something that anyone watching you found absurdly funny, and then, as you swallowed, even with your eyes closed, a shiver would run through your spine, as if your body recognized the drink and reacted to it.

The problem was that 5STAR was a coffee shop that specialized in coffee. They had scones, and cookies, and brownies to go with it, but they didn't make smoothies or juices. And you usually only went there with Hyunjin, who had been responsible for asking if they could make hot chocolate that first afternoon you had met to study there, a couple of years ago, before he had even started working in the establishment. You had been so embarrassed that it had taken you quite a while to return, and since then you had always left it up to him to order for you, after you had made sure that the barista who was serving was either him or Felix, the blond, freckle-faced Australian you went to class with, because you had never felt judged by his smile upon discovering that the chocolate was for you.

But now you were alone, on the sidewalk, and the time you had spent looking inside the place was starting to look weird. Your options were simple: go in, order a hot chocolate, sit down to prepare the subject and pretend it was the most normal thing in the world, or go in, order the first coffee you saw on the menu hanging on the wall, sit down to prepare the subject and wait for Hyunjin to come through the door to ask him to drink it. Obviously, you chose the second option, too tempted at the thought that someone might judge you, so you closed your eyes, took a breath of air, and pushed open the heavy glass door, praying that the barista who was serving at that moment wasn't the cute guy who, you had to admit, you had a little crush on.

But there he was, behind the counter, with a friendly smile plastered on his face, his dimples appearing and disappearing as he moved his lips to talk to the customer in front of him. He had decided not to put on the beanie he usually wore almost every day, and his thick curls spilled over his head, giving him a more relaxed look, in contrast to the serious outfit that was the café's uniform, with black pants and T-shirt and beige apron. You knew relatively little about him, such as that his name was Chris and he had been at the same college you went to, but shooting him quick glances whenever you went and he was there was your favorite hobby.

You cleared your throat, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear in a nervous gesture and stood in line, fiddling with your phone case, pulling out a corner and putting it back to pretend your hands weren't shaking. You didn't normally get so nervous about social interactions, but it was true that your natural shyness and introverted nature have given you more than one bad experience. And the fact that you were going to talk to Chris for the first time only made your anxiety skyrocket, because you know you weren't able to control what you say. Your mind went on autopilot, and all you' were left with was remembering for weeks the nonsense you had blurted out, unable to change a single word. You tried to formulate in your head the phrase you're going to use as the queue slowly moved forward, your gaze locked on the way you move your feet as you walked.

"Hello?" you heard, lifting your head so fast you feared you'd hurt your neck. Great, you were so distracted you didn't notice when it was your turn.

"Hi" you replied, forcing your eyes to fix on his and stopping them from roaming over every feature of his face. Fixing on his but blinking normally, you reminded yourself, clearing your throat again.

"Good afternoon" he repeated, his voice soft and gentle, one of his hands already over the screen to take down your order. "What will you have?"

"Oh..." you murmured, trying to rescue from your memory the phrase you had prepared. Don't say hot chocolate, don't say hot chocolate, don't say... "Hot chocolate."

"Huh?" he asked, his lips parted and his eyebrows furrowing in adorable confusion. You realized your tone was too low and he probably hadn't heard you correctly, though it was clear you had said something, denying you the chance to make up another answer to cover your mistake.

"Hot chocolate" you whispered again, glancing at the three people behind you, trying not to let them hear. You noticed the heat flushing your cheeks as you spoke, "Can you, uh, can you say it's something else?"

"Excuse me?" you couldn't help but watch his frown deepen even more, and you made a panicked face, trying to find a convincing excuse that didn't expose your null extroverted abilities or how poorly you had approached the conversation. Chris realized almost instantly how it was affecting you, and reached a hand over the counter to caress yours, relaxing his features. "Hey, hey, I just don't understand what you mean."

You heard the hammering of your heartbeat all over the place, drowning out the background noise as it rumbled in your ears, or in the muscles of your hand that were in contact with the barista's skin, but mostly in your chest, at such a volume that for a moment you feared all the café would be able to hear it. You swallowed saliva with difficulty, your mouth suddenly completely dry, and tried to formulate something that made a minimal amount of sense, "I'd rather not drink coffee, but I don't want those in the back to know that I ordered hot chocolate."

And then you saw him flash that smile you loved so much, trying to stifle a laugh, and he nodded, withdrawing his hand from above yours to write it down.

"Don't worry, I'll personally take care of your order" he assured you, his eyes glinting at the screen, biting his lip unconsciously in a gesture of concentration. "A mocca coffee, then, right?" he said, raising his tone a little.

"Yes" you replied, avoiding his gaze, shyly, when he shifted it slightly towards you to ask for your name. You set your phone down on the marbled surface of the counter to rummage through your totebag for your wallet. "It's to take here, not to go."

"Oh, then I'll bring it to you at the table when it's ready," he announced, leaning on his forearms to look down at you.

"But..., how much is it?" you asked, confused, the wallet open in your hands, a few coins on your palm.

"It's on the house" he answered you, his dimples accentuating.

The warmth in your cheeks spread across your face, and you made a little bow, knowing that you must have been flushed to your ears. You didn't bother struggling to hide your smile, and hurriedly put away your wallet, grabbing your phone and mumbling some kind of nervous thank you. When you turned around, your face out of Chris's gaze, you sighed, placing your hands on your cheeks to calm down a bit, and looked around for some table to sit at. The one you normally occupied was being used by a girl, but there were few people at that time, so you chose a nearby one, assuming Hyunjin wouldn't mind, and once everything was ready you started to take out the material.

You had brought your laptop, of course, and had printed out some ideas you'd had, sketching in the margins how you intended to cover the visual part 一although that was taken care of by Hyunjin. But you knew he was a bit chaotic, so having a base for what the presentation would look like always came in handy. That day you were going to prepare the theoretical part, in which you were to choose a song and a theme, write a long document stating your reasons, and then prepare a performance in which you would narrate some typical legend of the country through dance. As if you had the mental capacity to create a choreography from scratch at this point of the semester.

You knew it was going to be a relatively short meeting, because you were all out of time, so you entertained yourself looking for songs that would inspire you for the theme you had chosen, the Jeosung Saja. To tell the truth you had no idea about Korean mythology, but you had spent the whole afternoon looking for ideas on the internet and that was the most likely to present a good dance. They were messengers from the afterlife, those who guided the dead to the afterlife. You had read that they were usually represented with a black hanbok, and they also appeared in some dorama that had become famous, so you could develop a dark aesthetic, as Hyunjin liked so much.

You were so engrossed in rereading what you had written on your laptop screen, and in the list of songs recommended by the teacher, that you didn't notice that Chris had left the cup of chocolate on the table. You had to contain the pout you wanted to make, because you were sure he hadn't said anything to avoid disturbing you. It smelled wonderful, and he had left you a plate with a buttery croissant next to the hot chocolate, with a folded paper napkin that read "a mocha for the lovely girl at table 8 :))". Your lips began to curl into a smile as you took the napkin and carefully tucked it away in your planner, unable to stay focused on the music anymore.

Just as you had taken the cup in your hands, the temperature of the porcelain fighting the coldness of your skin, and warming your throat as you tasted it, Hyunjin and Felix entered the room, a chaos of laughter and exclamations, Sunwoo following closely behind, engaged in their conversation. You pretended to wince angrily, frowning and hastily putting the cup down on the table to cross your arms over your chest, giving Hyunjin a dirty look. When the boy noticed your state he hurried to sit next to you, his chin resting on your shoulder, mumbling various apologies about his delay.

"It was my fault, Ynnie," stated Sunwoo, setting his backpack on the table and sitting down across from you. "We were practicing the dance in Professor Park's class and there was a sequence of steps that kept going wrong for me."

"Don't worry, Woo" you replied, snuggling up next to Hyunjin, like always when you were together. "I'm doing it to annoy him."

"And what are you going to complain about if you got your chocolate?" you heard him mutter, picking up the cup to steal a sip from you.

"No thanks to you" you whispered back, taking it from his hands to drink yourself.

"Oooh, come on, don't be like that" he protested, his head resting on your shoulder, rolling his eyes, which managed to snatch some laughter from Felix. At your silence he turned just enough so he could make eye contact with you. "Are you really mad?"

"No."

"But?" he asked, knowing from the way you were that you weren't going to let on how much it had upset you if that had been the case.

"I had a hard time" you muttered, hiding behind your cup. "Neither Felix nor you were here to save me from having to ask for it myself."

"Whose turn was it today?" Sunwoo spoke up, turning to Hyunjin as he pulled out his own laptop.

"Chris" you replied, your cheeks reddening again.

"Oh" Felix said, before cracking a smile that hid how much he was dying to let out a squeal of excitement, "oooh."

"Oh, what?" asked Hyunjin, peeling slightly away from you and frowning in confusion.

"Nothing" you ended the conversation with a warning gesture to Felix, who pretended to run a zipper over his lips, and handed out the printed sheets of paper with the information you had found the previous afternoon, trying to get started on the project. "Well, I had thought about..."

"No, oh, what?" repeated Hyune, completely ignoring the written words and dividing his attention between the freckled boy in front of him and you, "what does he know that I don't?"

"Dude, if you don't know it's because you're just blind" Sunwoo stated, focused on the information, with a gesture of disbelief on his face.

"Guys, please" you requested, avoiding looking at Hyunjin and glancing back down at the sheet. "As I was saying, I had thought of basing our dance on the legend of the Jeosung Saja. You have a summary there, but I'll comment quickly: we can create a story from scratch about someone's death, and have two of us act as the Korean messengers, who let him say goodbye to the love of his life before guiding him to the afterlife, or something like that. I don't have the music yet, but it sounds like a good plan."

"It says here that we'd have to look for some black hanbok" Sunwoo pointed out, as you nodded, and shared a look with you, implying that he approved of the idea, already looking for ways to carry it out.

"Actually, I had thought of something else" Felix muttered, his fingers fiddling with the paper nervously. "Ehm, I read an article yesterday about these... Korean ghosts. They're called Gwisin, and there are four types, like us, there are four of us. There's Cheonyeo, which is the virgin ghost, Mul is the water ghost, Chonggak is the single man ghost, and Dalgyal is the egg ghost. There's only one girl, so it seemed perfect to me. It still has dark aesthetics, because they are wandering spirits of humans who have died with unfinished business, and also to record the dance we can talk to my friend Jake, who is doing a degree in photography and is good with cameras."

"I was going to propose Han or Chris to help us with the music" Sunwoo added, "because with all the time they spend glued to their laptops they're sure to have some track we can use, and we don't even need lyrics."

"Oh, it's actually much better than my idea, Felix" you agreed, closing the tab with the information you had searched for and starting to research about the Gwisin. As you read, you brainstormed, rambling outloud. "We can connect the lives of the four characters, do four solos that blend together, and add minutes of duets until, at the end, all four spirits end up accomplishing the unfinished business they had and do a final scene together"

"Yes!" exclaimed Felix, excited. "Just what I had thought. They've made scary movies about the Gwisin, but we can give it a dramatic twist. The virgin girl was an unrequited love of the water ghost, for example. We're going to have to get a pool to shoot the moment when he dances, you know, when he drowns and dies."

"That can be the start of the dance" proposed Sunwoo.

"I offer it to be me, if you want" said Felix, "I don't mind getting in the pool in December. I have enough experience in cold water, from when I was in Australia."

"Perfect" you affirmed, glad that you had gotten the job on track so well in such a short time. "I think we can go straight back to the studio to prepare the music, what do you think, Hyune?"

He had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout your talk, head resting on the back of the seat and gazing blankly, taking small sips from the cup of hot chocolate, with absent-minded gestures. You could almost see the gears turning in his mind, as he slowly nibbled at the croissant Chris had left for you. There was something that had been bothering him.

"I need a coffee," he muttered, leaving your empty cup on the table and ignoring your question, "would you like another chocolate?"

"Hyune..." you mumbled, confused at his attitude.

"I'll order it to go, don't worry" he added, grabbing his backpack. "I think Han is at home and has the 3racha equipment."

You shrugged as he stood up, and you then began to pick up your laptop and notebook, shoving them into your bag in a hurry to keep up with Felix and Sunwoo, who had hardly had to put anything away. Sunwoo had his own laptop already in the case, and Felix was folding the paper you had printed out, carefully, to tuck it between his notebooks, into his backpack. The three of you headed outside, to wait for Hyunjin, while Felix ran a hand around your waist, trying to coax information out of you.

"So..., Chris, huh?"

"Can we talk about how Hyunjin is mad for talking about it in front of him when he doesn't know anything?" you replied, giving him a loving punch on the arm. "Drop the topic."

"But it's the first time you've talked to him!" he protested, pouting, "I want to know everything!"

"YN is right, Lix," Sunwoo supported you, to which you shot him a grateful look. "Hyunjin is our creative soul and he hasn't blurted out a single word, that says a lot about the situation."

"I'm going to have to tell him about the crush, anyway" you stated, making the decision on the spot, leaning against Felix, "because it's not fair that he doesn't know."

"I don't understand why you haven't told him yet" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hyunjin and Chris work together" you explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "and besides, they're close friends."

"So does Felix" Sunwoo reproached, frowning.

"Felix keeps my secrets" you confessed, resting your head on his shoulder with a smile. "Hyune is too much of a gossip to keep that sort of thing to himself."

"If you tell him it's a secret he sure won't let it out" Felix muttered, defending his friend.

You glanced inside the shop, where Hyunjin was leaning against the counter, throwing his head back every time he let out a laugh, while Chris was talking to him, moving fluidly between the machines, preparing the order with expert hands. You couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at his familiarity. You weren't used to feeling this way about your friends, but the way Hyunjin's eyes twinkled at the jokes the barista would drop with a serious gesture and then burst into adorable laughter made you wonder if you hadn't been a little blind to their interactions. You tried not to think too much about it, but you had always had very bad luck with your crushes, something that had only increased your insecurities, and had forced you to keep a low profile on such matters.

"YN?" murmured Felix, one hand caressing your shoulder in an affectionate gesture. "You know he wouldn't say anything, right?"

"I know, it's just..." you lost the thread of your words, absorbed in the scene unfolding behind the glass, Chris reaching for a black marker to write something down on one of the take away cups, Hyunjin too busy searching for his wallet in his backpack to notice.

"Whatever you're overthinking right now isn't true" you heard the freckled blond say, drawing your attention back to him. "It's not the first time you've broken your own heart by heeding unrealistic assumptions you've got stuck in your head. Trust Hyunjin, he would never hurt you on purpose."

"I know," you repeated, turning to face away from the café, but avoiding making eye contact with him, "but I don't... I know and I repeat it to myself, but sometimes I just don't listen, even if it's true."

When you looked up, your eyes beginning to fill with tears you didn't intend to shed, Felix was giving you a look full of understanding. You had few friends as close to your heart as he and Hyunjin, but between Lix and you there had always been a kind of connection built on a common bond, as had been the constant insecurities that only you were able to keep from escalating.

"Let me know when it's like this," he asked, his hand leaving your shoulder and running down your arm until it came to fidget with your fingers, "give me a sign, or look at me. I'll remind you."

You nodded, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck, letting yourself be comforted by his touch, and managed to muster a smile as he tried to give you a hug but your totebag blocked his way. You saw him pout, and you let out a laugh, being interrupted by a shy cough from Sunwoo, who had taken a couple of steps away to give you privacy.

"I'm talking to Han and he asked me what kind of music we're looking for" he explained, pointing to his phone, "in case he can go looking through the songs they have already done or half done, so we don't have to start something new."

"Oh, sure" you said, frowning in a thoughtful gesture. "I'd say something dark, wouldn't you?"

"No doubt" Felix seconded, nodding at your words.

"And since the main choreographer is Hyune, add elegant and heart-wrenching as well" you straightened your figure, watching as Sunwoo typed hurriedly, his fingers speeding over the screen, "if what we're going to narrate is a story of unrequited love, and death, we'd better do something dramatic."

"A hot chocolate!" exclaimed Hyunjin, pushing the door open with his hip, both hands busy with the take away cups. "A hot chocolate for you, and coffee for me."

"Thank you, Hyune" you whispered, leaving a kiss on his cheek as he handed you the cup, again grateful for the warmth emanating from it.

"Looks to me like it has a message, Ynnie" Felix said to you, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, pointing to the letters you could guess under your fingers. You noticed how your cheeks flushed again, moving your hands so you could read all the words, and recognizing Chris's neat handwriting.

"What the hell are you talking about?" exclaimed Hyunjin, rushing over to you to try to read it first. "What does it say?"

"Thought you were really cute, leave my number here" you murmured, starting to crack a big smile, savoring the words as you said them, your heart skipping a beat when you saw that he had drawn a smiley face again and you imagined him, showing his dimples.

Hyunjin had repeated it again aloud, and you heard Felix stifle a gasp, holding his hands to his mouth, his face the vivid image of surprise. Sunwoo had merely let out a laugh and shook his head, as if he didn't believe what had just happened, still holding his phone in his hand. When you looked up, you found disbelief tinting Hyunjin's eyes, one of his hands still holding your arm from when he had rushed to read message over your shoulder.

"Oh," you breathed, causing Felix to snort.

"That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you expect me to say?" you replied, a soft chuckle bubbling up inside you.

"At least say hello to him through the glass," Sunwoo suggested to you, tilting his head in the direction of the café, which was at your back, "the poor guy looks like he wants to turn into a giraffe, from how much he's stretching his neck this way."

You turned your head as soon as you processed what Woo had just said, listening to Hyunjin complaining if that had anything to do with what Felix had said when you had confessed that the barista who had served you was Chris. Just as your friend had said, Chris was resting his hands on the counter, his body almost hovering completely over the surface, trying to figure out what your reaction had been. The moment you made eye contact, and gave him a shy smile, he couldn't help but turn with a jerk, suddenly suddenly busy with a non-existent order.

"Ynnie has a cruush" Felix crooned, causing Hyunjin to open his mouth in a gesture of exaggerated drama that you totally deserved.

"And you weren't planning on telling me anything!" he exclaimed, indignantly.

"She was literally going to tell you now" Sunwoo interjected, helping you balance the tragedy, "but Chris beat you to it."

"I have to tell Changbin" commented Felix, picking up his phone, "now he owes me money."

"You were keeping a bet on them?" asked Hyunjin, pouting. "Did everyone know but me?"

"Hyune, YN doesn't know how to pretend" explained Felix, resting a hand on his shoulder as he reached for Changbin's contact, "Changbin only needed to spend a few minutes with her at the café to figure it out."

While they started a new argument on the topic, you brought the glass to your lips, wanting to taste that drink that you liked so much, and that now that you knew that Chris had prepared it with so much love, it had become your favorite. But as soon as you took a sip and the bitter taste of coffee settled in your mouth, you pushed the glass away, trying to avoid looking into the coffee shop with a confused gesture, and taking the cap off, as if you wanted to make sure that what you had just drunk was definitely not chocolate. But when you breathed in the unmistakable smell of coffee, you noticed how your chest contracted. And suddenly you saw, as if in slow motion, the interaction Chris had had with Hyunjin while you waited, the adoration with which the barista had watched your friend laugh. How he had taken advantage of just when Hyunjin wasn't looking to write the note in his coffee, all those times you had caught them talking and they had fallen silent in your presence. How, yet again, the guy you'd fallen for chose someone else over you, another crush that ended badly, and it pained you to look back and only see a trail of stories in which the only heart that had ended up breaking was yours.

"Hey, let's get going, shall we?" proposed Sunwoo, getting your attention.

You listened as Felix and Hyunjin agreed with him with small nods, but without letting go of their playful bickering, taking off walking towards the apartment where the latter lived with Han Jisung. You had heard them, but all your enthusiasm for the project had vanished, leaving in its place a constant stinging in your eyes, which struggled not to tear up in the middle of the street.

"YN, aren't you coming?" asked Hyunjin, stopping everyone when he realized you weren't with them, that you had stayed behind.

You managed to shake your head, a small movement that was enough to make your friend frown, taking a couple of steps towards you. You tried to compose yourself, ignoring your feelings 一at least for the moment一 and swallowed before formulating the first excuse that came to mind:

"I'm... not feeling too well, guys" you stammered, intensifying your gaze towards Sunwoo, who was the most likely to let you go without asking too many questions.

"But a moment ago you were perfectly fine" Felix muttered, and you noticed his eyes on you, trying to unravel the hidden reasons for your departure.

"I'd rather go home" you said, in a whimper, the warmth of the glass that had comforted you so much a few seconds ago suddenly burning your skin, "you guys can choose the music. It's Lix's idea anyway, it's only fair that he gets to decide."

"Are you sure?" asked Hyunjin, coming up to you, putting the back of his hand on your forehead, like a worried mother would do with her baby.

"Mm-hm" you held out the coffee cup, unable to hold it for much longer, for him to take, and made the mistake of looking at Felix before blurting out a "this is yours" directed at Hyunjin.

You cleared your throat, placing the straps of your totebag more comfortably over your shoulder, and muttered some sort of goodbye before turning and running away, not quite witnessing the way Felix had snatched the cup from Hyunjin to check its contents, and letting out a frustration-laden sigh as he realized what your train of thought had been.

The rest of the afternoon had not been very relevant. You had work to do, like everyone else, and you were also one of those people who wanted to get all your notes done before the Christmas vacations, so you used to spend all December writing again with better caligraphy all the topics you've learned throught the semester. You didn't want to collapse yet, you preferred to keep your head busy, trying to pretend that nothing had happened until you couldn't take any more. In any case, you had already entered that stage where you began to belittle your own thoughts, doubting that your response to the situation had been the right one.

Or, if you stopped to think about it long enough, you could almost see your insecurities swirling around your heart, suffocating you from inside your own chest. That's why you had immersed yourself in the most difficult subjects, praying that filling your head with information would empty it of stupid reasonings. And you had succeeded in your purpose, at least for as many hours as possible, until you heard your phone ring between the couch cushions and snapped out of your self-absorption to answer it.

"Yeah?" you mumbled, your mouth dry from having gone so long without speaking, not paying attention to who was calling you at that hour.

"Ynnie" you heard Felix say, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine. "How are you?"

"How am I?" you repeated, clearing your throat and straightening your posture, as if he could see you and you had to play the role of carefree teenager. "Fine. Well, stressed about finals, but like everyone else, I guess, right?"

The laugh that escaped your lips without permission sounded too fake, and you closed your eyes, wincing, because you knew it wouldn't be believable. You obviously knew Felix wasn't an idiot. He'd probably realized you'd left for a compelling reason, and not exactly because you'd suddenly been struck by a migraine or a tummy ache. You considered lying and saying that you'd had your period the day before; he knew perfectly well that you had a really bad time the first few days. But it wasn't going to be worth it.

"You know that coffee..." he started to explain, his tone totally serious, as if he was telling you off.

"Stop" you interrupted him, standing up, your notebooks and papers strewn across the table, being ignored, as you paced around the room like a caged lion. "I don't want to talk about it, don't bring it up, please."

On the other end of the line, Felix made eye contact with Hyunjin, who was sitting next to him, listening to the whole conversation, and let out a long sigh, "Okay" he agreed, unable to force the conversation, "but remember what I told you, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever" you whispered, trying to avoid having to give an answer. "Did you call me to talk about that?"

"No, actually" he stated, and your lips curved into a sad smile at the emptiness you felt when you realized he had dropped the subject, just as you had asked. You didn't know if it was relief at not having to deal with the situation, or if you were hurt at how quickly he had given up, "It's about the music for the project."

"Do you guys have the song yet?"

"We need you to choose it," you had spoken practically at the same time, the silence that followed the cacophony of voices heavy on your shoulders, and Felix held his breath, waiting for an answer he didn't know if it would come.

"You can send me an audio of the options Jisung has, can't you?" you asked, hoping your friend wasn't asking what you knew he was going to ask.

"He has them on his laptop" he added, without actually explaining what he intended for you to do.

"Aren't you with him?" you frowned in a confused gesture, not understanding what was going through his head, "can't you ask him to put them on?"

"I'm at my place" he confessed, and you heard the movement of clothes as they brushed against each other, you guessed he had gotten up from wherever he was sitting, "Hyune and I came over after talking to Han because he had to meet his group from his AV Tech class. But he's going to stop by later, in case you wanted to come."

"Ah," you breathed, suddenly understanding. Probably what he wanted was for you to get out of your apartment, perhaps intending that you wouldn't be able to resist the pout on Hyunjin's face when you were told that the coffee scene had been a misunderstanding. You could agree to the former... The latter was more complicated.

"We can order your favorite pizza, and then you can stay over," he proposed, taking the risk that such insistence would push you away, "what do you say?"

You contemplated your options. You could use Seungmin, your roommate, as an excuse, but Felix was capable of texting him to confirm your alibi, and no one could resist Felix. Deep down, you knew you were going to end up going, but for a few seconds you allowed yourself to imagine what you could say to him to get him to leave you alone. You took a breath of air, leaning against the hallway wall, and closed your eyes tightly, trying not to think about how much you could come to regret your decision.

"But you have to promise me one thing," you announced, hearing Hyunjin's celebratory whispers on the other end of the line, "we don't talk about what happened this afternoon. Not today, not ever."

Felix snorted, against the idea, considering another way to approach the conversation to get you to stop thinking about it, but since he had shared with Hyunjin the plan he had developed while Han was showing them his music, and the boy was completely lacking in any kind of censure, he couldn't stop himself from exclaiming, "Okay! But you come!"

Felix heard you mutter a farewell before hanging up, and he stared at his friend with annoyance written all over his face. He knew that, although the way he had said it had sounded suspicious, Hyunjin had done it for everyone's sake, but he couldn't help but give him a murderous glare for not letting him have his way. The boy shrugged, unfazed by his antics, and rose from the bed, arching his eyebrow in his direction, ready to have the last word:

"I hope you time it right and this goes well."

When you arrived, fifteen minutes later, wrapped in a thick coat and one of your colorful scarves, but with your pajamas underneath, the pizzas had already arrived. You saw them on the kitchen counter, filling everything with a delicious aroma of bacon and cheese, when Felix opened the door with a smile. You lifted your backpack with a condescending grimace, implying that you had brought a change of clothes and your overnight kit, agreeing to spend the night in his apartment, and he let out a chuckle that almost managed to break the imperturbable facade with which you had decided to wear.

"Hyune is choosing film" he informed you, helping you take off your coat to hang it in the closet.

You tried to ignore the sting you felt in your chest at the memory of the circumstances under which you had said goodbye to Hyunjin, and promised yourself to make it up to him somehow. He didn't deserve to deal with your feelings like that, not when it wasn't his fault that your crush was onto him. So you headed straight for the small living room, where your friend took up the entire length of the couch thanks to his height, and you threw yourself on top him gently, letting him give you a hug as he chuckled awkwardly, his lungs taking in less air than they let out thanks to the extra weight of your body on top of his.

"What do you have in mind?" you asked him, looking at the television screen, and the endless possibilities the audiovisual platform offered.

"I haven't really chosen between Alice in Wonderland and Nightmare Before Christmas" he acknowledged, following your gaze, locating the second one he had mentioned in the bottom corner.

"Mmm, which of the Alice versions are we talking about?" 

"The first one" he told you, "the live action one."

"Oh, put that one on, please" you asked, trying to adopt your best pleading face, pouting in the same way you had seen Felix do so many times. You watched as he erased what he had written on the browser and followed your instructions, while you basked in the warmth of the fabric of his hoodie against your cheek, and his arm across your back. You could have stayed there, half asleep, for the rest of the semester, for the rest of the year even, if it hadn't been for how loud the bell had been when it rang, Hyunjin straining underneath you.

"That must be Jisung" you surmised, getting up much to your dismay, "I'll go open the door."

Felix was too busy in the kitchen, hands full of brownie batter, so you walked down the hallway back to the front door, peeking through the peephole to make sure it was Han on the other side. But your breath caught as you recognized the features of the barista you'd seen just hours earlier at 5STAR. You opened your eyes wide, not knowing how to react, and peeked into the kitchen to ask Felix. To your surprise, he was already watching, confirming to you, as soon as you saw his apologetic smile, that this was all his doing.

You decided not to say a single word, and focus on calming your racing heart before facing an interaction with Chris again. The doorbell rang again, jolting you out of your self-absorption with a scare, and you hurried to unlock the door, opening it with a smile that you liked to think it was normal.

"Hello" you said to him, proud that your voice sounded more confident than you felt.

"Oh" he breathed, his surprised eyes roaming over your features, "hi." You saw him flash a beautiful smile, and raise his hand to wave at you, as if he were a little boy excited to meet a new friend. "The lovely girl from table 8."

"That's me" you replied, opening the door wider so he could come in, "thank you for inviting me to the chocolate, I don't know if the croissant was tasty or not because Hyunjin ate it, but I bet it was."

Mentioning your friend's name just to see how he reacted had been a pathetic move, but you hadn't been able to stop yourself. If you could turn back time you would have bitten your tongue, though, after watching his ears blush at your words, proving you right. You swallowed the knot in your throat when you heard his giggles, and he walked into the apartment, taking off his coat.

"I wouldn't say it's my best recipe, but thanks for the confidence" he commented to you, and you took his coat, just as Felix had done with you, to hang it in the closet. You tried not to make it too obvious the way you checked that he was still wearing his café uniform, the sleeves of the black t-shirt tracing his arms. "I'll have to let you try it on another time, then, so you can give me your opinion."

You gave him a strained smile, standing there in the middle of the hallway, and when you saw Hyunjin poke his head out the living room door to see what was going on, you indicated to Chris that Felix was in the kitchen by pointing him to the room, and seizing the opportunity when he went to greet his friend to return to Hyunjin, sitting with your back straight against the backrest, pulling your legs up until your knees were pulled up to your chest.

"You guys are a bunch of assholes" you whispered, staring at the TV screen, not really seeing anything.

"You know how Felix is" Hyunjin answered you, resting his head on your shoulder in an affectionate gesture.

"How am I going to...?"

"YN!" exclaimed Felix going to his room, "Take care of putting the brownies in the oven, please!"

"Oh, my God, I'm going to kill him" you muttered, closing your eyes tightly and dropping your head against the couch.

"Fighting" your friend said to you, giving you a sad smile and a small kiss on your cheek.

You let out a long sigh before getting up, and started to look for Felix around the part of the apartment where you thought his voice had come from, to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing. You guessed he was in the bathroom, the sound of running water audible from outside, and knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Lixie, you know I love you very much" you began, taking a breath to start to tell him off all the decisions he had made so far in his face.

"I know I'm not your favorite person right now, Ynnie," you heard him speak, his voice muffled by the water, so you assumed he was taking a shower, "but there was an incident with the chocolate and I stained everything. Chris is trying to fix it, but I needed to take a shower."

"How much time do I have to set the brownies for?" you asked, surrendering, your shoulders tensing at the thought. The sooner you accepted that you weren't going to get out of interacting with your crush and Hyunjin at the same time, the sooner the night would pass and the sooner you could get back to your normal life.

"I've already left the temperature on! It's only twenty minutes!" he exclaimed, "You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" you muttered, retracing your path to the kitchen, only to find Chris rummaging through the cupboards. "What... what are you doing?"

The boy startled, jumping a little on the spot, and banging his forehead against the corner of the door, which made you choke back a scream and run to him, your hand pressing down over his in the area of the bump and you reacted with a startled "Are you okay? Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" to his whine.

"It's okay, really" he answered you, fully flushed, suddenly aware of how close you were to him.

"No, no, it's not okay at all" you affirmed, taking a couple of steps backwards looking for the fridge with your eyes, only to bend down to grab some ice cubes from the freezer and wrap them in a clean cloth, approaching him again. You grabbed his wrist gently and removed his hand from his forehead, assessing the damage before resting the wrapped ices carefully over the bump. "You sure have a terrible impression of me."

"That's not true" he whispered, cracking a small smile, avoiding your gaze out of embarrassment.

"I'm terribly sorry, really" you repeated, unable to say anything else.

"It could have happened to anyone, don't worry."

"What were you doing, anyway?" you asked, your hands still busy, one with the ice and the other one with your fingers closed around his wrist. When you noticed, you tried to direct him to take the cloth himself.

"From what Felix explained to me, he was so nervous he must have mixed something wrong, and then I don't know how he did it but he ended up with half the batter all over his shirt and arms," he explained to you, leaning on the counter, "I was trying to find chocolate to make it better. I'm not the best pastry chef, but working in the café has taught me something."

You looked over to where the bowl Felix had used was, and saw next to it the mixer you had bought him for his birthday, a few drops of mixture on the surface and more on the floor.

"It was his first time using that mixer" you assumed, trying to stifle a chuckle, "I'm sure he miscalculated the power and it blew all over."

The laughter Chris let out was music to your ears, and when you turned to look at him you realized how close you were to him. There were barely inches between you, and your legs were practically intertwined. You cleared your throat, parting slightly, and made eye contact with him, letting yourself be absorbed by his tiny brown eyes, which matched his dimples, narrowed into two crescent moons.

"There's no more chocolate, by the way" he told you, remembering why you were in that situation.

"I can go out and buy more" you solved, fully intending to go grab your wallet and leave, realizing how whipped you were for him.

"No way, it's my thing, I should go" he rebutted, massaging his forehead from time to time.

"You're hurt" you pointed out, looking for more reasonings, "you're not going to beat me if you pick a fight with me over this".

"Oh, believe me I am" he replied, leaving the ice cubes on the counter and heading for the hallway, "you do what you want but I'm going to get dessert somewhere."

"Then you're not going alone."

You left him looking for his coat in the closet as you went to tell Hyunjin what you were going to do, your friend still lying on the couch scrolling through his phone, probably on TikTok. His face was the mirror of pure surprise and disbelief, before he grinned mischievously. You rolled your eyes and turned your back on him, leaving him there and grabbing your own phone on the way, meeting Chris in front of the door. He had your coat in his hands, and helped you put it on. You then made sure you had your spare keys in your pocket and walked out of the apartment.

"Not to put you down, but... you are aware that you're in your pajamas, right?" asked Chris, his ears blushing as he realized it, slyly tracing the curves of your hips.

"Yeah, it's okay," you said, oblivious, making a nonchalant gesture, "it's not the first time I've done this."

"Where do you plan to go?" you heard him coming down the stairs behind you.

"There's a bakery a couple of blocks from here that closes pretty late, so we'll get there on time" you explained, leading him out of the building.

"So it really isn't the first time you do this" he confirmed, a soft giggle escaping his lips.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun" you said, remembering all the times you'd done it, more than once with your friends, rain or shine, "it's closer to Hyunjin's house, so we usually go from there, but yeah."

"Oh, you guys seem pretty close" he commented.

You tried not to let your wince show, not understanding why you always ended up mentioning the dancer in your conversations with Chris. The time was approaching when he would start asking you questions about Hyunjin to find out more about him, and you didn't know if you would be able to handle it.

"Yes, we have been together for a long time" you confirmed, trying to reveal as little information as possible, "he is someone very dear to me".

"Whenever I see you you're with him" he continued, his shoulder brushing next to yours, "at the café, I mean".

"He's the one in charge of ordering the chocolate for me" you confessed, changing the subject. "You make great chocolate, by the way. I couldn't tell you today, you dropped it off and left."

"You were so focused I didn't want to disturb you" he acknowledged, letting out a soft laugh.

"I guessed as much" you affirmed, noticing the streets you were passing instead of glancing sideways at him, as you were dying to do, "I also noticed the napkin."

"The nap...? Oh!"

"Yeah, oh," you repeated, your laughter awakening butterflies in his stomach, "people don't usually flirt with me like that."

"Fli- ehem, flirt?" he stammered, his face suddenly red with shyness. He hadn't expected you to be so direct with the subject.

"Well, not flirting," you corrected yourself, realizing your mistake, "but you have a lot of rizz."

"You're not the first one to tell me that" he nodded, clearing his throat, "my sister calls me Chrizztopher to mess with me."

"I like your sister, then" you acknowledged, reordering your thoughts to figure out how to phrase your question, and find out finally if you were going crazy or you were just insecure, "but... well, not that I'm complaining, but you still shouldn't waste it on me."

"Waste it? On you?" the conversation was losing all meaning to him, his brow furrowing more and more in confusion.

"Yeah, you know" you tried to explain, trying not sounding as bad as you felt, "focus it all on the person you like, instead of random girls."

"But... I'm already doing that" he protested, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, halting your walk, "the chocolate...".

"The hot chocolate was nice of you, but I'm talking about Hyunjin."

"What the hell does Hyunjin have to do with you?" he exclaimed, incredulous.

"With me?" you asked, your heart stopping at the possibility his words were offering you. "But... the message in the coffee, wasn't it for Hyunjin?"

"What message?" you were looking into each other's eyes, for the first time without any shyness on either side, both trying to understand each other.

"The message on the coffee cup that said you thought Hyunjin was cute" you replied, shoving your hands in your coat pockets, fiddling with your phone case to calm your nerves. "The one with you phone number".

"Did I write the message on the wrong cup?" he lamented, unable to believe his bad luck.

"The wrong cup?" you repeated, unable to process what was happening.

"I've had a crush on you since you first walked into the café" he stated, deciding to tell his biggest secret just so he could make it clear what was going on.

"What?"

"I... Yeah, there's not much more to say" his nervous laugh snapped you out of your shock, blinking to look at him again, this time with a clearer mind. "There's not a thing about you I don't like."

The silence that settled between you, you running your eyes over his features, your heart pounding, him not knowing if it would be a good idea to approach you, or if you needed space at that moment, waiting with his breath caught in his throat, not knowing if his feelings were reciprocated or not. You raised one of your hands, rubbing your forehead, unsure of how to interact after his confession. You decided to clear your throat and let the words flow, after all, even if you made a fool of yourself, it couldn't get any worse.

"Me too" you paused, still hearing your heart thudding in your chest, and then continued, "I have a crush, I mean. On you, yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" you confirmed, more at ease, moving closer to him.

Chris took the initiative and intertwined one of his hands with one of yours, looking at you softly and warmly, his smile provoking the same reactions from you as before, but now with the reassurance of knowing you weren't the only one who felt this way.

"What do you recommend from the bakery then?" he asked, taking you by the waist to continue walking beside you, both of you embracing each other.

And before you even answered you knew you would buy anything he asked for, even if you didn't like it, even if he didn't verbalize his desire to buy it. Only because you were as head over heels for him, as he was for you.

☆ series masterlist !!

taglist: @sseastar-main · @queen-in-the-shadows · @anaiii27 · @hanstarrs · @starsandrqindrops · @ivaneedssleep · @bbokari711 permanent taglist: @feybin · @jazziwritesthings · @rylea08 · @lixielovesme · @starlostastronaut · @lvlnijiro · @adestayskz · @manuosorioh · @nappynapnaps · @kpopmenace143 · @skzms · @ylixbok

(if you want to be on the tagist, use the link, send an ask or comment. if you want to change in which taglist to be, send an ask or a comment. if you don't want to be on the taglist, send an ask or a comment ^^)

© stayconnecteed 2023 · do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms

[idolkilling]

THIS BLOG IS 21+ ONLY FOR SEX, VIOLENCE, & “DEAD DOVE” THEMES.  All depictions of crime or taboo are for fictional character exploration and not endorsed in real life. More info on carrd.  Last updated 11/2024. twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se｜bsky @killshopdeluxe — yapping/reblogs

Hi I’m Kill !  Fibromyalgia having broke ass OC drawer and writer… welcome to my twisted mind (gay shitposts and ikemen).  I love hearing about other people’s characters and tossing my own at them, so if you have OC socials of your own, feel free to drop me a line!🕺🏻✨

I follow and send asks from @idolkilling-alt.  If you make anything featuring one of my OCs, please tag #idolkilling and @ me! (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Terms of use, CWs, tags, and more below 👇

⚠️ MY WORKS: TERMS OF USE

DO NOT repost my original work to any site, inclusive of using my art as an icon, banner, or background without express permission.

DO NOT use my works as reference material, inclusive of tracing my art, studying my style, or taking heavy inspiration from the designs or stories of my OCs.  I am a small hobby creator, not a big IP, so people piggybacking off my works to make their own—especially with the intent to publish or monetise—is hurtful (and has already happened several times).  TT

DO NOT tag my OCs as your own characters or use them as references/RP claims.

Any media IP fanworks I make can be reposted ¹ or used without permission, as long as I am credited with a link back to one of my socials.  That said, if I have already posted the art or writing to the intended site (eg. Twitter, Tumblr), please just boost my original post.

¹ caveat: Please do not post my art onto TikTok 🙁

🤼 SENSITIVE CONTENT

My works occasionally feature “dead dove” or “landmine” themes, such as rape/abuse, necrophilia, incest, or teenage characters in suggestive situations (for fictional exploration only—not condoned IRL).  I will NOT usually tag specific warnings for such content, so the pieces can be interpreted however the viewer likes.  However, I will use the blanket tag #dead dove, so people can mute as needed.

Beyond that, my works frequently contain sexual, violent, or horrific imagery, and I often forego the use of Tumblr’s built-in censor/blur.  

While I post SFW pieces as well, please keep the full breadth of my works in mind when deciding whether to follow, unfollow, mute, or block me! 🙇

💫 INTERACTING

Fanworks of any kind featuring my OCs are welcome—and feel free to have them interacting with your own characters! If you make anything, please @ me and tag #idolkilling!  This part is optional, but feel free to also tag the full names of the OC/s depicted (written below in the “TAGLIST” section) ^^  If I miss your post, please PM!

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🪐 TAGLIST

Personal

#🌻kill.txt ｜ #🌻kill.abt — personal posts and info

#🪻blog.new ｜ #🪻blog.abt — blog updates and info

Content Archival

#📧OC Q&A — general trivia on my OCs, as well as ask responses

#📁MY OUS/AUS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OUS/AUS ｜ #📁MEDIA IPS

#📁MISC SOLO ｜ #📁MISC RP — works that do not have any specific fleshed out setting

#📁MY OCS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OCS ｜ #📁MEDIA CHARACTERS

#💘SHIPPING — specific ship tags in “OC-Related” subsection

#🎨ILLUST ｜ #📝WRITING — my own works, sorted into the subtags #scrawls, #rough, #clean, and #coloured as well as #drabbles, #oneshots, and #ongoing respectively; #WIPs and #showcase are used for both

#💞TREASURE BOX — works featuring my OCs by other people

#💛OTHERS’ WORKS — works by my OC collaborators! :D

OC-Related

I use an OC’s full name for art, writing, and any information on them (in response to asks or in general musings) I find important/vital. I may sometimes include works by other people in their main tags if I feel they represent the character’s vibes well to people who are not yet familiar with my OCs! I’ll usually tag other people’s OCs by their full names as well, unless the mun has their own tagging conventions (in which case I’ll follow suit).

Most characters’ full names are present on their Toyhou.se profiles, but I’ll list relevant ones here as well (especially since Xero and Velo’s are busted LMAO):

Xero Ouroboros Flamel Nocturne Jabberwock Lacrimosa etc … if you don’t want to remember all that Xero | Ouroboros is fine!

Dimitri Andreyevich Noskov

Reis Cordis ｜ The Lord of the Flies ｜ Navid Veisi

Umetarou Sano Lecce

Velo Velocity

Dr. Evening Threnody

Beyond that, I’ll use their shortened name + a descriptor to organise posts, as follows:

#[OC] by others — works featuring the character by other people

#[OC] info — self-explanatory; includes responses to asks

#[OC] answers — asks or replies where I draw/write the character responding directly

#[OC] core — random things that remind me of the character

Rounding back to shipping, each pairing or polycule has a main generic tag, but may feature subtags indicating top/bottom or D/s order (for sexual, suggestive, or otherwise ‘charged’ works).  The Eastern fandom practise of ordered tags is important to me, as oftentimes AB and BA are their own separate dynamics completely!

#Arizona — ANTE × Zion (Ram’s)

#Atomic Zero — Xero × Zeta (Ram’s)

#Knife Life — Xero × Killer Girl (Kumkrum’s)

#TBA — Dimitri × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA｜dimieros, xerodima — Dimitri × Xero

#TBA｜navitarou, tarounavi — Navid × Tarou

#TBA｜taroureis, reistarou — Tarou × Reis

#TBA — Xero × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA — Zeta (Ram’s) × Dimitri

They’re all just listed in alphabetical order since I wasn’t sure how else to sort them ahaha.  (Also this section is currently WIP as I upload more art/try to think of generic ship names… Bear with me 💀)

🍳 BLOGROLL

People I OC with a lot 🤼 !!!  Check out their socials 🥰

@mihlen｜twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se

@ramsauced｜twitter｜toyhou.se

@enigma-sanctity｜twitter

🌻 ABOUT ME

I’m Filipino and live in the Eastern US.  Immigrant parents and an unconventional background have made me pretty passionate about diaspora Asians in the West—as well as continental Asian culture as it’s warped by globalisation—so I tend to create OCs with that representivity in mind.  Even if it’s very subtle and not at all profound—focusing on Eastern tropes, values, and themes rather than Western ones, mostly—I just think it’s neat!

Beyond that, I’m a disabled¹ survivor² with weird idiosyncrasies regarding gender,³ sex, and romance,⁴ and suffer the paradoxical curse of being both a high-maintenance extravert who never shuts up and extremely, painfully shy…

¹ fibromyalgia; ² OCD/C-PTSD; ³ femme [not a woman] + transmasc; ⁴ aroace-spec

Creative works are just my hobby at the moment, but one day I’d like to publish things.  My taste in media runs somewhat niche, but feel free to talk to me about musical theatre, seinen (and shounen that feels seinen), pre-2010s sci-fi films, or fucked up K-media.  Beyond fiction I have old person interests, like buying seasonal produce, household appliances, and tailoring.

I pretty much exclusively blog from PC—check out my theme on browser if you have a chance!

Dividers by strangergraphics.  If you’ve taken the time to read all this, thank you—feel free to drop a like so I know who you are! :D <3

[piercethewon]

🪐 Odd! Eye! Circle!

Jay, Jake and Sunghoon Interactive SMAU

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Pairing: Non idol! Supernatural! Enhypen 02z x Fem! Reader.

Genre: College AU, characters are based on Loona's lore, fantasy, fluff, angst, action, slow burn, storyline depends on options chosen by the reader, lots of written parts.

Synopsis:

"Be careful what you wish for" was the only thing you could think about as you watched your boring and monotone reality helplessly submerge into chaos. Who would have thought that the destiny of The Garden of Eden, something everyone thought to be a mere religious belief, could fall into the hands of an ordinary college student?

Alternatively:

After following Sunghoon’s trace for over a year, Jay and Jake finally find him sitting comfortably on a bench in the middle of a physics lesson. They don't have much time before something terrible happens, so let's just skip the introductions and save the world, shall we?

Featuring: Enhypen members, Lily (Nmixx), Gaeul (IVE), Kai and Beomgyu (TXT)

Warnings: Swearing, my terrible sense of humor, suggestive jokes, lots of empty treats and friendly teasing, explicit violence, might contain major character death in some routes.

Status: Ongoing.

Taglist: Open, send an ask to be added<3

@keikeu @dimplewonie

Started: 21/03/2023

Schedule: Updates every 3-7 days! (Please be patient, as it takes time to write parts for all the routes)

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Character's personal files.

Begin story?

Chapter 1: Adult life, so far.

Option A

Option B

Option C

Chapter 2a: Two uncommon strangers.

Chapter 2b: Two uncommon strangers.

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Chapter 3: Implacable protector.

Chapter 4: The Thinker and the Feeler.

Option A

Option B

Notes:

Picture credits to their respective owners.

I do not ship any of the idols involved, everything is for entertainment purposes.

English is not my first language!

[marali-iin]

Introduction 🪐

— from your not favorite writer and artist that you should NOT be trusting in because it's an idiot <3

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✿Name: Noah / Nickname Meli but with mutuals

✿She/he/it or anything that sounds good to you!

✿Aromantic lesbian.

✿Mainly sapphic and angst writer, but can do anything

✿ love socializing, will gladly interact

✿contratreltophobic ! (S.A really scares me, please avoid jokes about that topic)

✿Asks Open for writings (info, scenarios, headcannons or drabbles)

✿Asks for drawings might not be taken always

✿Huge cat person fr. Might post more about my cats than my ocs

✿Bad memory, you might have to repeat things for me. Don't be afraid to remind me of your ask because I might have forgotten it!

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For your requests 🪐

Fandoms: Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Project Sekai, Wuthering Waves, TGCF, SVSSS & Pokemon.

Won't accept reqs for: romanticized r*pe, p*dophilia, inc*st, any form of abuse, zoophilia, inappropriate s*xualisation, bathroom kinks

If I write about this topics is to normalize validating the healing and feeling of the victims of these acts!! This topics do happen, I want to make awareness of that, I will not stand the romanticizement of it!

(except the bathroom kinks things, that one's just plain disgusting)

Accepting reqs for: fluff, angst, drabbles, headcannons, short stories, suggestive content, character x character, character x reader, character x oc, my own oc's (applies all of the above)

(won't write more than one shot long fanfics)

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[yaniiiiism]

yani's posting schedule. ┆ 💌 masterlist ✶ main directory

➳   🦢   ⧆   ⁺   ✢

𖤐 : last week of oct. ꒰ 24-31 ꒱ 10.25 -> minho bd ; oneshot. ✓

𖤐 : first two weeks of nov. ꒰ 01-14 ꒱ -> just fine ; chapter viii. -> minho fluff (req by anon) ; oneshot. ✓ -> very late felix bd ; oneshot. ✓ -> very late chan bd ; oneshot. -> very late changbin bd ; oneshot. -> just fine ; chapters ix and x.

𖤐 : nov. ꒰ undecided dates ꒱ -> hyunlix oneshot. -> just fine ; more chapters -> hold my hand ; seungmo bd ; part 2 (last) -> stars and raindrops ; chp 3 ✓

more to come ! thank you for the love, i really appreciate it, it motivates me to write more lmao, love you ✩

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❪⠀🪐. cappuccino⠀𓏔⠀lee know⠀❫

☆ customer!lee know x afab!reader ( i wanna be yours oneshots )⠀★⠀8.1k words

( i am extremely sorry for the delay of this one shot ♡ )

synopsys: after a bad run you are forced to look for a second job, and you end up covering the first shift at the campus café. every morning you find the same guy waiting for you to open, leaning on the wall, looking flawless, and it gets on your nerves. until one day you see him leaving the dance academy where you teach, getting on the same bus as you. warnings: in this one she's the barista, guys. a part from that, we have mentions of reader not having enough money, lee know with his misterious aura but being a literal sunshine, also he's insecure :(( unusual hopeless romantic minho too, he's a softie (and whipped) reader's insecure too 😔 mentions of overworking and skipping meals. minho saves the day!! let me know if i missed something.

If life as a college student was hard, life as a broke college student in a country completely different from your own was pure hell. You had never let it get to you when you said your dream was to make it as a choreographer in Seoul and everyone laughed in your face, so you certainly weren't going to let anything stand in your way now that you had gotten a chance at Seoul's famous arts university, JYPU. The plane ride had been a challenge, because you kept wondering if you were really doing the right thing, but when you landed and saw you had messages of encouragement from your sister and the few friends you had left in your hometown, their words had filled you with determination.

A couple of years had passed since that moment, and perhaps the circumstances were still not the best, but you were still determined to achieve everything you set your mind to. The language barrier had not been a big problem, because you had learned some Korean while you were in high school, but it had only helped you to find that tiny room you were living in and get hired at the dance studio a couple of blocks away from the faculty. You were earning enough to pay for food, rent, and the materials you needed for class. But when understanding your classmates became a little more complicated, when the language used in the lectures became more technical, you had to pay a personal teacher to help you improve your Korean. And since you didn't have enough money, you were forced to fit a second job into your busy schedule, getting a little bit of extra money to live slightly more comfortably.

A friend of a friend from the Music Production department had recommended you to the owner of the most famous café on campus, and after hearing your story, he had hired you right away. This Chris guy had been very nice, and had taken an interest in your schedule to find the shifts that suited you best, even waiting for you after one of your classes to have lunch with you and talk about everything in peace and quiet. You had never met a boss so concerned about his employees, and he made it much easier to have to get up before dawn to be the one to open the café, because he always left you some candy hidden in your apron pockets or a note encouraging you to start the day with a smile.

However, the first time you had covered the morning shift, the 5.30 am shift, there was a guy waiting at the door. You had arrived, exhausted as you were every day, the laptop and your college books weighing like heavy bricks in the backpack on your shoulders, along with the sports clothes you wore for the afternoon classes. Chris had told you to be there at the normal time and he would show up to explain some of the details and give you the keys. After all, it was your first day. But instead there was a tall, slim guy leaning against the metal grille, his slightly long bangs covering his eyes, though that didn't stop him from scrolling lazily on his phone, headphones hanging around his neck, and looking flawlessly put together. Certainly not how someone should look on any given day at 5:30 in the morning.

You flashed a shy smile as you reached his level and he lifted his head to find out who you were, his sharp cat-like eyes sparkling from the reflection of the light on his phone screen, and you grabbed your own in a hurry to send a message to the cafe owner.

You 5.32am Hi, Chris I already arrived, where are you?

Chris 5.32am Hi, sorry Still in the subway Like... 2 minutes away

You 5.33am Yeah, no worries It's just There's this guy...

Chris 5.34am OMG wait Dark aura, looks like a cat and gave you a dirty look when you showed up?

You 5.35am Yeah, quite accurate

Chris 5.35am Oh, that's Minho Don't mind him, he's inoffensive Most of the time He's there for his morning coffee

You 5.36am Okay, then See you!!

Chris 5.36am 👍🏼

And then he showed up, out of breath, in a hurry, around the street corner, phone still in his hand, unblocked. You smiled unconsciously, trying to ignore Minho's gaze weighing on you while Chris approached, flashing his dimples as he stopped in front of you to catch his breath, breathing some kind of greeting that you responded to with a nod. He pulled out a dinosaur-shaped keychain, a very adorable doodle version, and bent down to unlock the metal grille, pull it up ーgiving a little jump to get it all the way upー and unlatch the lock on the door. Minho hadn't bothered to greet him, you guessed it was a common thing between them, and he didn't look up from his phone screen either, a bored gesture plastered on his face. You followed Chris as he entered the café, leaving your backpack on the counter, and standing awkardly in the middle as he went to switch on the electrical panel.

"Get his coffee ready while I finish up in here," he instructed you, stepping into what you thought was the kitchen, "I'll be right out to help you."

You nodded, grabbing the apron from the rack that already had your name on it, and stood behind the counter, Minho having rested his forearms on the surface, again with the phone in his hands. If he was reading some article or playing some online game it must have been interesting, because except for the few furtive glances he had given you, his eyes had been glued to the screen the whole time. Clearing your throat, making just enough noise to get his attention, you flashed your best customer service smile, "What'll you have?"

"Cappuccino" he mumbled, sitting up and stretching absently, "grande, to go".

You made a small affirmative noise, turning on the coffee machine, and picked up the cup in the size he had asked for, with its respective lid.

"Chris, where's the milk?" you asked, walking into the kitchen, stifling a laugh when you caught him wrestling with the flour, staining his dark blue t-shirt white.

"'Storage room'" he muttered, his ears taking on a reddish hue, "If there isn't any under the counter, Jisung must have forgotten to restock it last night."

You hurried into the kitchen supply room, after grabbing a scoop of coffee powder and put it in the machine to make some espresso, and came out with two packs of milk, setting them down on the floor to place them as soon as Minho left, but grabbing one of the bottles to make the steamed milk and creamer.

It wasn't your first time working as a barista, and not in the hostelry industry either, so really the only thing you had to get used to was the café distribution. Luckily, Chris seemed like a pretty neat guy, so you didn't think it was going to be much of a problem. You set about pouring the milk into the necessary containers to heat it to your liking and get the effect you were looking for, as the coffee dripped into the cup you were using to measure the amount, the chestnut-colored liquid falling, first in drops and then in a small stream of caffeine, flooding the white porcelain.

You mixed it on the counter, in front of Minho, so he could see how you did it, although you hadn't seen him look up from his phone at any moment. Actually, he had been watching you. He always did 一observing his surroundings, that is一, but with you his eyes flashed with curiosity. Chris was known for rescuing stray souls in need of a job, a quality through which he had met most of his friends, and he wanted to find out why a girl like you would have caught his eye, or would need extra money. Usually JYP University students had wealthy parents, and if that wasn't the case, they had at least gotten a temporary job that allowed them to live comfortably. But you had arrived, with your worn converse and patched hoodie, your backpack full of safety pins and big dark shadows under your eyes, screaming to anyone who could see that you didn't quite belong there.

He had wanted to take care of you. It had crossed his mind for an instant to give you a friendly smile, to introduce himself, to ask you about you; he had felt the need to approach you and engage you in a conversation that would allow him to get to know you better. Because as soon as he laid his eyes on you, he knew that despite being two strangers, you were going to be the one who, only with the sweetness of your voice and the kindness of your gaze, would break through all that was and what was remaining of him once you left him, would turn his unleashed fire into a warm hearth. But he wasn't good with words, and you had rushed to grab your phone to busy yourself, watching his chance fade before he could even realize it. It had bothered him how comfortable you seemed to feel with Chris, even though he knew his friend had that effect on people, and how you'd smiled when you'd seen him show up, like he was saving you from someone 一from him.

But at the same time, he had struggled not to curl his lips as he realized how strange you felt in the situation you were in, standing at the entrance of the café, as if waiting for instructions. It wasn't that you were a contradiction, but that you caused him too many dilemmas. Like having to repress that electricity that ran through him the only time you looked into his eyes, when you looked up to check how much his coffee cost and he already had the money in his hand. He had tried not to brush his hand against yours, dropping the coins onto your palm at full speed and picking up his cup, leaving the place, with you still on his mind. He couldn't concentrate in class that day.

Unfortunately, you had no other choice but to focus. The scholarship you had been given depended on your grades, thanks to which you had obtained a place at the university. If you dropped below your grade point average, they would take it away from you, and that was something you couldn't allow. But some thoughts had slipped in your mind about the boy you had met that morning, remembering the shape of his eyes, sharp and rounded at the same time, and his slender figure. You had allowed yourself to smile at the memory of him, even as you hurried to stuff your backpack and boots into the locker at the academy where you worked, your jeans exchanged for a leotard and the most comfortable sweats you had, always arriving a couple of minutes earlier than required so you could get ready.

But even if you wanted to stop thinking about him you couldn't, because soon what you had considered an isolated event became a habit that every day was harder to break. The next morning, after barely five hours of sleep, you got up again, crawling as best you could to the outside of your cramped room, your body trying to feed on the freshness that the shower had left on your skin, your heavy backpack digging into your shoulders. And when you managed to reach the café, the keys tightly clutched in your fist, he was there, again, his long figure leaning against the grille, again, and his gaze fixed on his phone, again.

When he heard you, your stifled pants revealing your presence, he sought your eyes, separating himself from the wall so that you could open. You bent down, sitting back on your heels, to undo the lock on the grille, and accompanied it with your hand as you stood up again, mimicking the hop you'd seen Chris take the day before to get it all the way up. Unfortunately, it only got halfway up, and you felt your cheeks redden with embarrassment, fearing that Minho had seen it. Still you pretended nothing had happened, trying to straighten your shoulders under the weight of the backpack, unlocked the door, leaving it open behind you, and stepped inside.

You repeated the steps that Chris had indicated to you the previous morning, going directly to the electric panel to turn on the power, and then you entered the kitchen, crossing it until you reached the room reserved for the staff, leaving your backpack on one of the chairs, and taking the apron that had your name on it before leaving. You hung it around your neck as you undid your steps, and by the time you got behind the counter Minho was already pinning his catlike gaze on you.

"Grande cappuccino to go?" you asked, your fingers tapping on the surface like a piano in a nervous gesture that Minho found adorable.

He merely nodded, averting his gaze to his phone screen, as if he had somewhere more important or urgent to be and was checking the time to make sure he had enough minutes left to get there. It was a somewhat pretentious gesture on his part, without stopping to think whether it would make you feel better or worse, but he couldn't help it. He was torn between absorbing every detail you could offer him, and trying to delay the moment when you would reject him, when his feelings would be too obvious to be denied. And even if he had mentally chosen the second option, he let his gaze follow you as he performed a graceful dance with the sole purpose of making his coffee.

He had noticed a difference from when Chris made it to when you had made it. Minho didn't know if it was your expert hand or some ingredient you had used to make it, but it tasted slightly sweeter. And since he had tasted it he hadn't been able to stop thinking about what your lips would taste like, if he got to kiss them someday. Minho kept telling himself that it was a silly crush, that the butterflies he felt in his stomach when you handed him his glass were the effect of hunger, of thirst, of any excuse he could think of but the ghost of the feel of your skin on his. Or maybe you were a witch, and had used his cappuccino as a love potion.

However, it didn't matter anymore. If you had wanted to have him trapped in your web, he wasn't going to be the one crying out for help to be rescued. Not when he felt his heart falling off a cliff every time you looked at him, adrenaline racing his pulse, not knowing for sure when it would stop. At least until he handed you the money, turned around and walked out of the café, the bite of the cold winter air bringing him back to reality, leaving behind the pleasant warmth of the place, and also of your smile, which he could still feel in the palm of his hand thanks to the coffee you had made for him.

And meanwhile you watched him walk away, the coins still in your hand, until there was no trace of him left. Then you sighed, coming out of that strange daydream in which you were interacting ーif you could call what you were doing thatー and put the money away, leaving the apron on the counter and taking a chair. Your problem wasn't being short, it was not knowing how to jump high, you decided, as you leaned the chair against the street and looked up, more than willing to climb the grille to the same height Chris had left it the day before.

To your surprise, it was in place, even though you knew perfectly well that you had left it halfway up only five minutes earlier. You shrugged your shoulders and went back inside, leaving your chair in place and hurriedly putting on a black shirt before tying on your apron and starting your day.

The next morning, you went to work with your heart in a fist, expecting to see him leaning against the grille, letting out a small sigh of relief when you saw that he was. You hid the smile that struggled to appear on your lips, and frowned as you looked at him, refusing to let the mere presence of a stranger affect your mood that way.

This time, Minho greeted you with a quick glance and a small nod, a display that made you blush, hiding your reddish cheeks from him as you bent down to lift the grille. You figured that this routine between the two of you would be repeated quite often, since you weren't planning to quit your job and he was going to need his coffee every morning, so you decided to put all your effort into maintaining a cordial relationship with him.

You soon realized that he was the type of person who also got up early on weekends, since you still had to cover your shift and he was still at his usual 5:30 am spot. You had no idea what he was studying ーor even if his major that was the reason he was getting up so early. And it wasn't like you were going to ask Chris either, you didn't know him well enough to figure out if he would tell Minho or not.

In fact, he kept making stupid excuses for why he had to go to your unofficial morning appointments. He told himself you wouldn't have anyone to climb the grille for you. What if the lock on the door got stuck and you couldn't get in? His coffee addiction had nothing to do with it, although he would probably develop one just from drinking so much cappuccino, and if he didn't feel like getting up one day, just the thought of knowing that he would be able to see you before going to class made him wake up instantly.

And somehow he ended up going on the weekends as well. The first Saturday just to see if you were also working those mornings, stuttering his order when he saw that you had already opened and he hadn't been there, but after taking the first sip from his cup he had to sit for a long time on one of the benches in the nearest park, feeling sick at the fixation he had developed with you.

Could he consider it a crush when he tried to look for you with his eyes every time he leaned to wait for you, pretending to use his phone? When he walked through the corridors of his college and thought he recognized your beautiful hair in the crowd, only to end up being a random girl? When his heart stopped for a few moments as soon as he entered the café that morning just because he heard you laugh? 

That Sunday he was on the verge of not going. But every minute that passed and it got closer to the time to open the café, his anxiety increased, so he dressed in the first shorts he could find and a shirt he had lying on his bed and decided to go for a run. He wasn't a big fan of doing sports, but he liked the feeling that flooded his body once he finished, exhausted, knowing that it had been worth it. He had jogged towards 5STAR, towards you, ready to drink his morning coffee.

Until that moment the only thing that kept him from murdering anyone who bothered him as soon as he woke up had been the caffeine shot, but he had lately been smiling only thanks to you for a week, and it was much healthier that caffeine. That Sunday you had looked at him, surprise on your face, probably because he had changed his normal outfit for a slightly more revealing one, and you had had to clear your throat before asking if he would have a cappuccino. He had smiled shyly and asked for a pastry to go with his coffee, since he wasn't willing to go running on an empty stomach, and had waited as long as it took while you put the first batch of croissants in the oven.

He had pretended not to notice, too, when you stole glances at him from the kitchen, blushing when he couldn't help himself anymore and made eye contact with you. After all those days he still wondered why you kept asking him if his order was still a cappuccino, when his answer had always been yes, but he would never dare to find out, because hearing your sweet voice was a hell of a lot better than all the alarms on his phone. What he didn't know was that you adored the look on his face, his lips curving slightly and nodding adorably, and that you weren't willing to give that up either.

The mornings went on, each and every one of them with the same repressed interaction, and the same warm feeling in your chest as you said goodbye to each other until the next day, neither of you making the first move. You had grown accustomed to his presence, almost inherent in your morning routine, and he had learned to soften his attitude in front of you, but never without exchanging more than three words in a row.

The first time you said something different, a few weeks later, was when you mustered the courage you needed to thank him for raising the grille for you every morning. At first he had done it slyly, taking advantage of you coming into the kitchen to make a little jump and push it up. Then he hadn't cared if you saw it or not, realizing that if he wanted you to notice him he would have to be a little more obvious. And now he was doing it without any kind of embarrassment, waiting for you to pull it up more or less to your height to take the leap, in front of you.

"Thanks for helping me with the grille" you had whispered, pouring the milk into the glass, while the coffee was being made behind your back.

He had made a nonchalant gesture, as if it wasn't that important, or if he had done it for anyone, and he had seen you smile, embarrassed, but his ears had turned red.

That same day, taking advantage of meeting up at Han's apartment with the group of friends, he followed Chris into the kitchen when he offered to go get more beers and tried to ask some sly question about you. Chris was no fool, evidently, but he let Minho get the information he wanted. It was most adorable to see his gaze light up at the mere mention of your name, or how he drank in the words Chris whispered hurriedly about you, fearful that any of the others would walk unannounced into the kitchen and interrupt them.

You, on the other hand, had begun one of the most difficult periods of the term: when your exams were combined with the recitals of the girls you were teaching, limiting your time even more and drowning you in due dates, subjects to study and two jobs you couldn't afford to loose. You couldn't complain about how lucky you had been to find jobs that matched your preferences, but you did say, without hesitation, that the one at the café was much better than the one at the dance academy. Not only in something as obvious as the salary, but the conditions were nicer with Chris as the boss than with that man who had assumed that because you were a woman and beautiful you would surely be better at teaching ballet and dealing with the little girls.

That was what you had confessed to Han, since his shift was the one after yours, while you took advantage of the brief ten minutes he managed to save for you, arriving earlier than he should have, and you spent by having a coffee. He had nodded, giving you to understand that he was listening to you, while he stored all that information to be able to communicate it later to Minho. All the co-workers you had dealt with had been very nice to you, but Han was your favorite. He compensated for your introversion with witty and funny comments on his part, which made you burst out laughing and the mood relaxed. He always paid attention to everything you said - even if he had hidden intentions to do so - and you had several hobbies in common.

Besides, he was the only one who would talk to you about Minho without having to ask, and even if you pretended to be disinterested, he could see the way you nodded at his words, and your lips tried to avoid curling up at the silly anecdotes in which you were utterly oblivious to this different version of the gentle Minho who said good morning to you. He would brighten up your breakfasts, at least until you realized what time it was and rushed off to avoid missing your morning classes.

Because the classes were also demanding enough. It may not have been as difficult as a science degree, but the exams on music history and dance, along with all the physical sessions and dances you had to prepare for the end of the semester not only tired you mentally, but you would arrive home at night totally exhausted, with just enough energy to take a shower and go to bed. You would also skip a meal or two due to lack of time, resulting in quick snacking whenever you had a second. More than once your belly had growled in the morning, in front of Minho, and you had formulated a quick apology, without even turning around, too embarrassed.

They weren't the best conditions for a healthy life, even less if you were a teenager trying to survive, but it was the only - and best - thing you had. At least you had your mornings at 5STAR, with the opportunity to see Minho every day without fail, and the hours at the academy with your girls, who were immensely fond of you. Seeing their excited faces when you proposed to change the typical play based on the Nutcracker or Swan Lake for an invented version with all the Disney princesses made the two nights you had spent almost without sleep planning the story and the choreography worthwhile. That way everyone would have a starring role, and not just the one who got the main role, which was something you had missed in your childhood, so you were happy too.

One morning, however, when Minho came to your not-date, the café was already open. It wasn't that the fact itself was strange ーyou had sometimes arrived early because you hadn't been able to sleepー but that the grille was all the way up, and you always left it halfway up no matter what time you arrived. When he entered, the door bell ringing behind him, the one who came out to greet him was Changbin, another of his friends, who flashed a mischievous grin at his confused face.

"Looking for your girl?"

"YN is not my girl" he protested, slipping his phone into the pocket of his jeans.

"Ah, but you took it for granted I was talking about her" the boy replied, winking at him, starting to make his coffee.

Minho missed your sleepy voice as you murmured good morning to him, and the graceful way you moved behind the counter, in and out of the kitchen, gathering all the ingredients and utensils you needed to prepare his breakfast, which although varied in pastries, always consisted of a cappuccino. He pulled out his wallet, preparing the coins he always counted out before handing you over, and the movement caught Changbin's attention.

"So you're not going to ask?" he said, rephrasing, still with his back turned.

"You seem to be eager to tell me," he replied, rolling his eyes, "so go ahead."

"Oh, you're no fun" Changbin complained, his face contracting into an adorable pout.

"I didn't mean to be" Minho said, cracking a sarcastic smile.

"You know what, I'm sure you wouldn't have responded to her like that" he muttered, pouring the milk into the cup. "Anyways, I'm sure Han will text you as soon as he finds out, but Chan hyung convinced her to ask for a couple of days off."

"Chan hyung?" Minho couldn't help but frown, not understanding.

"Apparently, YN has been pushing herself more all month" Changbin explained, picking up a cup-sized cap, finishing his friend's order, "and you know how Chan hyung is when he sees someone overworking."

"He gets all protective" summed up the dancer, paying for the drink.

"Exactly" he stated, crossing his arms once Minho had his coffee in his hand, "and she must have been having a really hard time. I guess Chan hyung asked her about her schedule to find out which days would be better for her to rest, and yesterday he asked me if I could cover her shift."

And it had been that way. Just the day Chan had decided to stop by to see how you were doing, he had found you passed out on the kitchen floor. You had made him promise not to tell anyone, and he had sworn to keep his lips sealed, only if you let him make sure you were okay. He had woken up one of the other employees, and then had taken you to his house. You had been somewhat shocked by the seriousness with which he had taken it all, but you had let him do it, rambling about everything you had to do and how little time you had, while he prepared a very nutritious breakfast for you.

"You should quit that job at the academy" he had advised you, his gaze fixed on the chicken frying in the pan.

"I can't" you had protested, whining, "there's less than a week until the Christmas performance. I couldn't let the girls down like that."

"Are you willing to quit after that, though?"

"If I find a better job," you had supposed, shrugging, trying to avoid yawning.

"What if I offer you a double shift at a higher salary?" he had proposed, filling the plates with food and setting them in front of you, reaching for a clean set of chopsticks, "I can even switch you to the afternoon, so you'll get more sleep."

"That's very kind of you, Chris," you had murmured, "but I don't know if it would be a good idea. Or legal, at this rate. You're already paying me more than my fair share."

"You could find a roommate, then" he had continued, not giving up, "I know a guy who..."

"Thank you, really," you had tried again, feeling somewhat uncomfortable at his effusiveness, "but I'd rather sort it out myself."

Chan had looked down, blushing as he realized he had gone too far anyway, and had apologized, leaving you to eat in peace. You couldn't thank him enough for how much it had meant to you that he had accepted you into his house and fed you, but he had more surprises up his sleeve. He had told you that he was going to give you two days off, and also that he knew someone in your class who could get you the notes of what you would be taking that week in the main subjects, so that you could spend the next few days resting. Before saying goodbye, you had given him a big hug, almost crying, and you had returned to your little room, more than ready to faint from exhaustion.

But Minho didn't know that. For him it was the first time you had been absent, and the first notice that you were really that unwell. Not that he hadn't noticed the dark circles under your eyes, but you had always looked so cheerful in front of him in the mornings, with that bright smile that lit up the café when you saw him, that he hadn't realized the real gravity of the situation. And he blamed himself for it, for his lack of attention to detail, for having been so absorbed in his feelings that he hadn't realized your own reality.

That's why the next day he didn't go: it didn't make sense, since he knew you weren't going to be there. And in any case, he wasn't in the mood to get up so early. He didn't go to class either, his mind too absent-minded to attend to three straight hours of long, monotonous explanations. But he didn't miss his daily appointment at the dance academy, one of the few places where he could let himself go, it's physical exertion and music taking him away from all the buzz he had in his head. He would go to practice the dances he had to present in his subjects, but also to memorize choreographies he found on the internet or create his own from scratch.

The mere fact of putting the bottle of water and the change of clothes in his sports bag for later made a slight curve form on his lips, wishing that the subway would move at the speed of light so he could arrive as soon as possible, and nodding as a greeting to one of the owners of the place, who was always sitting at the reception desk, heading straight to the studio he had booked.

That evening Yewon was not in her usual place, but running back and forth, somewhat stressed, having exchanged her usual low heels for ballet slippers.

"Hello, Minho!" she greeted him, waving some papers with a hurried gesture. "You have studio C10, as usual, but I will have to change it tomorrow!"

"What's all the fuss about?" he asked, securing the strap of his bag over his shoulder in a nervous gesture.

"Two of our teachers couldn't make it today, and it was unexpected," she explained, not bothering to use the comfortable office chair to type something quick on the computer. "Jisoo took maternity leave after a little scare with the baby, to be at home and rest. But Jinyoung has finally quit."

"The one who wanted to set up his own academy?"

"That same one," she replied, trying to stifle a complicit laugh. "I'm covering his ballet classes, but I'm short of someone to take over Jisoo's hip hop classes. You wouldn't be willing to volunteer, would you?"

"With kids?" Minho tried not to let his panicked face show too much.

"Yes, but only today," she replied, letting out a melodic laugh. "You can wipe off that scary face, don't worry. My sister is in Jeju, sorting out some family issues, and she'll be back tomorrow. She'll take care of it until Jisoo and her baby are healthy and the happy mom can continue working."

"Huh" he knew he couldn't refuse, not when Yewon had always been so nice to him, even if he was late on one of the months' payments, always greeting him with a smile. But children made him panic. Those little humans who judged you without a filter, always bursting his eardrums with the screams they made, and so wild that they deliberately ignored any orders they received. He realized it sounded like he was describing real demons, but in his experience, it was totally justified. "Right."

Yewon clapped her hands in excitement and led him to one of the studios reserved for afternoon classes. They always put the children in the larger rooms, so they could run around freely. And if you were able to teach ballet for whole afternoons to children, surely it couldn't be too bad for him. After all, he was pretty good at hip hop, and he had a couple of easy choreographies he could teach.

Luckily, the group was small ーfour boys and three girlsー more than willing to learn, half of them with dreams of becoming idols, and all of them with wide eyes watching him dance for the first time. It wasn't the first time people had complimented him, but the fact that eight-year-olds were looking at him with such admiration made him die of embarrassment, and also made it seem much more real than any empty words they could ever give him.

When the time came to an end, he had gotten as much exercise as any other day, had laughed a lot more, and had not been alone, like the vast majority of his afternoons, though unfortunately he had not found a solution to your problem. Yewon left the ballet studio, sweating but smiling, waving goodbye to his students, thanking him again and again after Minho high-fived all his children. It was only after a quick shower that he knew what he should do.

The break had been wonderful for you. You had dedicated yourself to sleeping and eating, without worrying about anything but going to your ballet classes on time, and you were afraid that getting used to it would be easier than breathing. You kept telling yourself that what you were experiencing was a temporary hiatus for a couple of days, something Chris had managed to do but it wouldn't last forever, and that you should be grateful. Although you should also try to figure out what was going to be your life after that, because going on as you were was not an option.

But you were tired of looking for a job and the options getting worse. If the pay was perfect, the schedule was bad for you. If it fit with your classes, it wasn't worth it because it was too far away or the salary wasn't enough. You were definitely going to keep the job at the café, but you also wanted to keep the job at the academy. You were totally lost. Maybe you could stay the same for a couple of months, asking for fewer hours and saving a little more at home. Cut back on showers to the academy bathroom, and try to ration your meals. It could work.

After the established time had passed, you came back. And you were looking forward to it. You got up energized, grabbing a couple of pieces of fruit while you packed your stuff in your backpack, and even noticed it less heavy on the way to the café. When you arrived, you didn't see Minho in his usual place, but since it wasn't the first time either you shrugged your shoulders and opened the grille, leaving it halfway and going in, following the routine that by now, you knew by heart. You busied yourself with the trays of croissants and brownies that some co-worker called Felix was leaving ready on his shift for the next day, waiting for Minho to arrive. You had the milk ready, the coffee powder already in the machine. All you needed was for him to show up to press the button and serve it to him.

Only he didn't show up.

It was the sound of the grille going up that made your heart race, and you left the staff room totally hopeful. But although you expected to see the young man with the mischievous smile and gentle gaze, you found a guy you didn't know at all, looking lost, and a little nervous tic in his hand. You took a big breath of air, forcing a smile, and stood behind the counter.

"Good morning," you murmured. "What will you have?"

"Oh, hi" he said to you, trying to avoid your glance. "I didn't know if it was open yet...".

"Yeah, yeah" you affirmed, the shy curve of your lips reassuring the boy, "don't worry. I usually have a friend of mine come over to help me with the grille, but he's not here yet."

"Then I was right to put it up, wasn't I?" he asked, his fingers still drumming on the surface of the counter.

"Yes, of course," you confirmed, your hands fiddling with the edge of the apron, trying not to let your disappointment at the boy's presence show too much, "thank you. What will you have?"

"A macchiato, please."

Similar to a cappuccino, you thought, unable to get Minho out of your mind. You didn't know why his absence was affecting you so much. You didn't even have that much of a relationship. Outside of your greetings, and small conversations here and there, you didn't interact much else. Even if after all this time you felt you had known him all your life, even if seeing him in the mornings made your day, even if you wished you could spend your whole life mixing espresso with milk if it meant Minho smiled the way he did.

Your shift took forever, each coffee making lasting longer than necessary, and perhaps too short, customers coming and going and none of them being who you expected. You understood that the shock must have been the same for him ーin case his feelings for you were remotely similarー on the days you had been absent, and you feared that he had grown tired. That so many shared mornings would have been for nothing, and yours would have been a relationship by proximity. It wasn't the first time you had maintained such a friendship with people, because you were forced to go to the same place together every day, and not because there was actually any bond.

Maybe he thought you were not coming back, and had decided to look for coffee somewhere else. Maybe you had misinterpreted everything you had experienced, and had taken cordiality for friendship. Maybe nothing of what you felt was reciprocated, and again you had been daydreaming.

Despite all your efforts, you couldn't concentrate on your classes that day. You took the lunch break you had promised Chris, pulling out of your backpack a container of a small salad you had made yourself in the morning and a piece of brownie Han had slipped in when he thought you weren't looking. After retiring to the library for a couple of hours to study you went to the academy, ready to go over the dance with your girls.

You wore your leotard under your jeans, so, as usual, you only had to put on your sweatpants and ballet slippers, locking yourself in the studio half an hour early to dance by yourself for a while, and at five o'clock, letting it fill up with energetic and joyful girls, ready to become their favorite Disney princess for a few hours. You always had a great time, and in your heart it made up for everything it meant in your private life.

After the shower, as you were coming out of the changing room with your hair still slightly damp but back in your normal clothes, your backpack slung over your shoulder, walking down the hallway towards the lobby, you stopped when you heard Minho's voice. You couldn't make out what he was saying, but you could hear the angry voice of your boss, and you peeked your head around the corner, trying to see without being seen, in time to see your boss hit the table lightly and Minho frown in an annoyed gesture, turning around.

You hurried out, ignoring the exclamations of your boss calling you, and followed Minho. He was carrying a cup of coffee that wasn't from 5STAR, and for a moment you feared it was over altogether. That he had found somewhere else to buy his cappuccino. That maybe your friendship had broken down without you realizing it. That it didn't mattered if you thought you didn't care if it never evolved into something more ーsomething you longed forー, you were content with whatever it was that you had. You noticed also the jacket he was wearing, the logo of a dance academy that wasn't yours drawn on his back, and tried to match his long steps to reach his pace.

He was heading in the direction of the bus stop where you usually caught the one that dropped you off near where you lived, and you got on after him, sitting down next to him, still frowning.

"YN?" he mumbled, taking off one of his earbuds so he could talk to you, turning his body slightly to try to face you.

"What were you doing talking to Mr. Kang?"

"Huh?" he asked, as if he hadn't understood anything you had said.

"I've never seen you outside the café before," you told him, propping your backpack between your feet, "and just the day you don't come in the morning I see you in the afternoon at my academy, when you don't even come here."

"Well... It has an explanation" he tried to defend himself, his ears turning red. "Han had said... Ehem, since you didn't come to work these days... I..."

"I was resting" you told him, leaning your back against the backrest, "I had been having some complicated days, and Chris has recommended me to change jobs, but I don't know..."

"I know" he interrupted you, "I know. That's why I was talking to your boss."

"What?"

"He told me that next week is the performance you've been working on for the past few months" he summarized, avoiding looking at you, not feeling ready to find out if he had taken too much of a risk or not. "I wanted him to make your work conditions better, and maybe I told him that the academy I go to they have an opening for a ballet teacher so he should watch out how he treats you. They pay like a normal job, not a part-time one, and the schedule is the same."

"Really?" you stifled a cry of excitement, covering your mouth with your hand, "Oh my God it's perfect! It's literally the miracle I was waiting for! I'm so happy I could..."

"You could...?" he repeated, urging you to finish the sentence.

But you couldn't finish it. You didn't know if you should. It would be crazy, in fact.

"Whatever," you solved, seeking to change the subject, "it doesn't even have to do with dancing."

"And what does it have to do with?"

You cleared your throat, mumbling an answer you knew he couldn't hear, too embarrassed to let it sink in, hoping he had heard it, and also hoping the opposite at the same time.

"With you" you repeated, this time louder, looking into his eyes when he asked you to say it again.

"With me?" he breathed, his heartbeat increasing its speed, roaming his gaze all over your features.

"Yeah" the worst thing it could happen was that he rejected you, and he never came againg to the café. And you already thought that was what had happened, so there was no point in not trying it. "I was going to say that I'm so happy I could kiss you right now".

"Kiss me?" unable to think straight, he was only repeating what you voiced, watching your lips moving and your cheeks slightly blushed.

You flashed a bright smile and caressed his cheekbone, the pad of your finger gentle and soft against his skin, and his breath got caught in his throat, swallowing hard, and confirming your crazy theory of him liking you back. He tried to touch you the same way, his hand twitching with anticipation, but it fell to his lap when you kissed him, his eyes closing down immediately to focus on the way your lips moved over his, lazy, slowly, enjoying every single second.

Minho knew that he had fell first, and harder, and then he had waited patiently for you to reciprocate his feelings. And when you did, you understood that his heart was so full of love and adoration you couldn’t stop yourself to love him in the same deep, absolute and fathomless intensity.

☆ series masterlist !!

taglist: @sseastar-main · ( happy super late birthday @queen-in-the-shadows !! ) · @anaiii27 · @hanstarrs · @starsandrqindrops · @ivaneedssleep · @bbokari711 permanent taglist: @feybin · @jazziwritesthings · @rylea08 · @lixielovesme · @starlostastronaut · @lvlnijiro · @adestayskz · @manuosorioh · @nappynapnaps · @kpopmenace143 · @skzms · @ylixbok · @darkypooo · @pochaccomin

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© stayconnecteed 2023 · do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms

[stayconnecteed]

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A CAT!!!! Can I see him??? Pleasseeeee🥺

i didn't say i have a cat, so it's only normal you didn't know dkabdkbsdjs BUT yesterday i did a cat reveal to my dearest dahlia, so odc you can see him!!

he's very silly hehe and he loves to cuddle my wolfchan!! one of my stay irl besties told me that perseus is a cat sized version of bangchan, so maybe that's why he cuddles with the plushie...

[stayconnecteed]

i meannn-

HSKWBDKWBDKDJEK MOONY

i meeeaaaaaaaaaan nobody said apiderhan had to study science, right? he could definitely had a music degree, right?

[stayconnecteed]

jokes on you i wrote today a very very angst angsty felix fic because i was sad and bored at class⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀also, i'm working on that chan 🔞 request, and then i'll upload two minho fics and a minsung one for the followers milestone <;33

[stayconnecteed]

Agskfneoahakfbeiaksh

Is talking about ships okay? (Not anything nsfw since, yk, still a minor💔 I just really love that picture😍 100% won't send any like it again if that makes you uncomfy tho) I can ramble about Skz ships and dynamics right?

❪⠀🪐.⠀the beggining of it all⠀𓏔⠀minsung⠀❫

NOT UNCOMFORTABLE AT ALL!! in fact, one of my fav ships. very very complex, it's true, but amazing as well. THAT PIC THO (i add this gif to our delulu thoughts) but we got to keep this for minors. so just a little drabble oneshot (i got too carried away) under the cut hehe · no proof read, possible mistakes, described anxiety and make out sessions⠀★⠀2.1k words

minho and jisung met when they were very young. i like to think of jisung as the chaotic bisexual goofy guy he is, but i actually have the feeling that he genuinely thought he was straight until he met minho. and minho was a very introverted teen who knew he was gay (is not the first time he talks about having a crush on one of his male classmates) but he kept a low profile about it ーjust remember that south korea is kind of homophobic and he was about to debut with a bunch of guys.

but hey, jisung was totally convinced that what he felt for his new group mate was just a very deep friendship (... riight), even when they started talking and they started holding hands, and they started cuddling, and they… they started, mhm, to do things all friends do. the fact that minho had to hide the enormous fat crush he had on jisung was a big deal, specially because said boy reciprocated all the moves minho made. so it was quite confusing. but when they did debuted, and everyone grew accustomed to each other, it only became painfully obvious that they were not as straight as they thought. and not only them ーtry to live with a group of very very handsome man and not start to think about what you really are attracted to.

the thing is that even if minho was slowly falling in love with his platonic soulmate, jisung was convinced he only liked girls. to the point were our favourite cat-like dancer just surrendered and accepted that it was impossible for him to end up with jisung. he stopped fighting for him, although he couldn’t help the jealousy every time han flirted with his other members, or the sting of hurt he felt when he purposely watched those edits stay made and he knew, he just knew, that he could never be jisung’s boyfriend. he was unwilling to admit it, but it was killing him inside.

meanwhile, said rapper was just dense. of course. totally oblivious to his older group member suffering. he already had enough with all those recurrent thoughts that so often crossed his mind, making him frown in confusion at the new reality that would open up if he gave the question too much thought. it was making him go insane. because- those feelings… but why would he think that? was he… was he really hinting he could be…? nah. that was a rabbit hole. when he started going through that train of thought he just stopped and tried to distract himself.

yongbok was tired. and sad. he was nosy by nature, but also an overly sensitive angel, so seeing his friends struggle like that distressed him. the freckled boy was openly bisexual with them, and his group mates had never judged him, even if at first his insecurities had made him think that because of their culture they would treat him differently. but yongbok was a sunshine, and therefore in his train of thought the fact that jisung and minho ended up together was as obvious as the fact that you needed to breathe in order to live. the problem was that he knew that both of them would shut down at the mere mention of the subject.

he needed someone from outside their inner circle, but who could be trusted and discreet. and that was were you came in. the girl that knew hyunjin since childhood and just stucked around, the one that made them feel more at ease in stressful periods, who made sure to remind them to eat, drink and rest when they were too caught up in their jobs, you ーtheir confidant. they would listen to you. damn, with the power you had with your words, you would only have to talk to jisung and then everything would run smoothly. so he asked you the favour, and you couldn’t resist him, hence you complied.

you had a very deep conversation with your quokka-like friend about his feelings, the both of you alone in your apartment for his comfort, and he himself ended up understanding what everyone saw so evident, why it should not matter in the slightest which gender he's attracted to, and dismissing his oblivious behaviour with a soft laugh. he still waited for a few days ーuntil his weekly gathering with minhoー to speak his mind. and even when the moment came, he was nearly-a-panic-attack kind of nervous. the dancer was always patient with him, but when minho when he proposed breathing exercises to calm down a little, it was his own breath that caught in his throat as jisung, out of eagerness, closed the distance between their lips in a quick peck that turned into a gentle make out session when minho cupped his cheeks.

if you meant minsung thoughts as only the both of them, let’s say that after a very intense and sincere talk they went from a beautiful friendship to the cute couple known only by those to whom they show the privacy of their personal life. now, if you want to add you and talk about minsung x reader thoughts, let me tell you that when felix asked you to talk to them, you were on the brink of refusal. how could you help him achieve this not so crazy plan when you had a crush on them? how could you have a crush on them? if you stopped to think about it, it made a lot more sense for them to be together. like, only minho and jisung. the two of them. in a relationship. it was breaking your heart, but you could only be happy for them. they deserved it, the delighted ending.

you spent some time away from the kpop group, trying to busy yourself with college, or your job. you even went on a trip (alone) so new experiences helped you dealing with your unrequited love, and although it did ease your mind for a while, as soon as you were back in seoul everything came back to you as a wave. a wave that lived in your nightmares, of course. hyunjin wanted to hang out with you, as well as felix, and ji asked why you were so distant. you felt you'd made things worse, and it made you feel awful. but you couldn't explain the real reasons behind your disappearance, right?

minho was pissed off. with you, with him, with how things went out. It was fucked up, because you lit helped him to get into a relationship with his crush. he was supposed to be happy, hell, he was jisung's boyfriend!! and he was exhilarated, don't get me wrong, but he had this little sting in the bottom of his heart that didn't let him enjoy all the happiness. and it hurted more when he thought of you. he loved you, you were one of his best friends, he supposed he could even see you as the type of girl he would date if he liked girls, because you were just amazing! but he only liked boys. right?

jisung was still confused. when he talked with you, he noticed how nervous you were and it put him on edge. but as you talked, a lot of things made sense in his head. it was like you just shared with him the secret to happiness! and he thought that it would be enough, when he ran to clear things with minho, and came out of the closet, he thought that it was it. but it sure wasn't cause even if he was lighter than before, he still carried some kind of burden that didn't let him sleep well. did being in a relationship with a boy made him gay? when he had been sure the person he had a crush on was you? he could be bisexual, yeah, or pansexual or whatever the name was at the time. but he craved to kiss you the same way he did with minho. did that made him a cheater? was he starting a relationship over lies? he was being a horrible boyfriend, right?

yongbok was getting restless over the weird tension in the dorm when you agreed to attend their classic movie night after almost months of absence. and he seemed to be the only one who was noticing how jisung fidgeted around you, how tense minho would get when you were near him, or how you held your breath when either of them gave you a brief glance. only he wasn't the only one. the three of you were painfully aware of what was going on, too many unanswered questions on your minds, and too many answers you weren't ready to hear. at least until in the middle of a movie you couldn't care less about minho stopped her gaze on his boyfriend, only to catch him watching you with craving eyes. and for once, he didn't feel the rage of jealousy running under his skin. for once, all he could think about was how good you two would look next to each other, cuddling, you cocooned in his chest, jisung stealing kisses here and there, the three of you nestled in his bed.

was it… was it weird? that longing? the suddenly urge to be near you, to have both jisung and you between his arms? at this point, he didn’t care anymore about what did that make him ーhe was not gay, if he felt this way about youー but how would you react. it was obvious that jisung had somewhat this same yearn, to get to figure out how did your kisses taste like, how was it to be able to hold you, to call you theirs… you were his main concern. would you think they were nuts? just by asking you if you felt the same, would you look at them as if they were crazy? had he lost his mind?

when the film ended, past midnight, minho didn’t know what to think anymore. he could hear his friends talk about how good the storyline had been, all the plot twists, even your excited squeaks when chan mentioned some specific detail you’d loved about the main character. he didn’t know a single word about the movie, he didn't even noticed you staying over on the couch, his footsteps leading him to jisung's room, his mind too busy with the dilemmas you had just created for him without realising it. until the door closed behind him, and he felt his boyfriend's strong arms pinning him against the wall, one hand gripping his shirt, the other resting on the surface next to his head and his lips crashing with need over minho's. his panting muffled against jisung's whimpering mouth, as if he had been holding back his desire for too long and now he couldn't breathe just feeling that he finally gotten what he had wanted so badly.

"you think about yn too, don't you, hyung?" he heard him whisper, his voice dripping with heat, minho's hand finding its place tangled in his boyfriend's hair.

he had been ready to answer, to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that yes, he could not get you out of his mind, that you had changed the way he thought of his sexuality, that he needed you in his life, and having you as a friend was no longer enough. but then he heard the noise, the soft thud against the floor, a hoodie and your phone at your feet and you at the door of the room, looking at them with wide eyes and your heart beating too quickly. you didn’t know what to think, and they didn’t know how to react. so during a few minutes the three of you stayed like that, deers paralyzed with fear in front of the bright lights of a car, until you took what you had dropped and ran away, your only aim to get out of the house as soon as possible.

your pulse was racing, your clouded mind preventing you from thinking clearly, as you packed the few things you had placed on the couch into your backpack, repeating a single phrase in your head, like a mantra, the only thing to keep in mind as everything you had assumed to be true collapsed, "this is a mistake, this is a mistake, this is a mistake”. yongbok had been wrong, it hadn't been a good idea to show up again after so long, you were confusing your friends, you were destroying a relationship, you should stay away, you, you, you... you were terrified. what were you so afraid of? you hurried down the hallway, hearing anxious whispers from jisung's room, and slammed the door shut, getting into the elevator in a blur. you looked at your reflection in the mirror after pressing the button for the ground floor, and you couldn't help but repeat, in a whisper, "what are you so afraid of?".

taglist: @feybin · @jazziwritesthings · @rylea08 · @lixielovesme · @starlostastronaut · @lvlnijiro · @adestayskz · @manuosorioh · @nappynapnaps · @kpopmenace143 · @skzms · @ylixbok · @darkypooo · @pochaccomin · @caitlyn98s · @hanstarrs · @atinyniki

© stayconnecteed 2024 · do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms

[babybearcubbs]

Firstly, W wingman Hongjoong💯 Secondly, Mr. Christopher Downbad is absolutely freaking adorable! 😭❤ This was so cute!!! I really really really loved it!!!

Honestly even I was anxious when I read the rest of Skz had heard about Chris's crush😭 It's like, you trust them but you don't lmao, peak friendship tbh✨

❪⠀🪐.⠀sweets⠀𓏔⠀bangchan⠀❫

☆ㅤbangchan x afab!reader ( valentine's collab oneshots )⠀★⠀3.7k words

synopsys: when chris first saw you, it was past midnight and he was tired, so no one should judge him if he thought it was one of his dreams. and as some dreams come true, finding out that not only are you the sister of one of his friends, but that you also have a crush on him, might just be the sweetest dream of all.

The first time he had seen you, Changbin had dragged him to the gym a few minutes after midnight, determined to tire him out enough to collapse as soon as he got into bed. College had been stressing him more than usual and his sleep schedule was messed up again, keeping him awake until dawn. But just as he was keeping an eye on his friend's bench press exercises, you walked into the area they were in, your loose hair swinging as you walked, humming a catchy melody. The music you had chosen to work out to must have been really good because, although he couldn't hear it through your earbuds, the way you were bobbing your head to the rhythm of the song, concentrating on every note, made Chris wish for a moment that he had been the composer.

But he wasn't. He didn't share his songs with anyone. And you did share your enthusiasm for music with anyone who chose to look at you, as he was doing with you at that moment. He noticed the exact moment when his gaze softened at your innocent appearance, looking at you tenderly, just as you felt yourself being watched and looked up, making eye contact with him. You both shied away from each other for a few seconds, you too embarrassed, Chris not so different from you, and he saw you give a sheepish smile and murmur a "sorry", probably thinking that you had interrupted them.

But then, the little interaction he'd managed to get was interrupted as Changbin left the bar secured in place and sat down on the bench, sighing in a tired tone something about how watching his posture was the only task he had while he did that last exercise, that he promised him they'd be leaving afterwards... Until he saw you too. And then, with his heart twisting in his chest, Chris had to watch your eyes light up at his friend's presence, your lips curving into the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, and hear your voice 一smooth and velvety, even a little low, as if you hadn't spoken for a few hours一 greet Changbin, asking him about his day.

Chris had decided to adopt a spectator role, blending in with the rest of the gym machines as you two caught up, slightly ignoring his friend's voice as he repeated class anecdotes he'd been present for, and giving his full attention to your words, learning about your latest hobby, the new workout exercice you'd seen on Pinterest, and how mean the teacher of that subject you enjoyed so little was. At least until you apologised again for interrupting them and Changbin remembered his friend's presence, introducing you. And when you said goodbye to begin your routine, Chris couldn't help but repeat your name in his head, spelling it out, breaking it into syllables, savouring it, before Changbin announced he was done.

They'd been locked in there for at least an hour, and although he couldn't imagine why you'd go training at such an ungodly hour, when he turned around and saw you preparing some light weights for your warm-up, Chris wanted to stay. Especially when you touched your wrist as if looking for a scrunchy that wasn't there and had to settle for pulling your hair into a ponytail as you put on the cap you'd brought, securing your hair in the hole in the back. And when you bent down to untie and tie the laces of your black Converse twice. And when you put on your knee pads. And when you took off your oversized shirt for comfort, because the gym was empty after all, and he could see how well those athletic shorts clung to your curves. Then he felt like a Victorian man, because he could see all the skin on your legs, and your bare arms and even the curve that joined your collarbone to your shoulder.

Chris wanted to stay, but he didn't. Because when he looked up from the flesh he couldn't stop staring at, that narrow line between the edge of your sports top and the waistband of your shorts, and met your surprised eyes and flushed cheeks, the Victorian man fantasy was left behind, a heavy, hot shame falling over him instead. So he cleared his throat, swift steps covering the distance to the men's locker room, and tolerated the minutes of showering listening to Changbin's laughter at what had happened, even though all he wanted was to scream into his pillow.

Since that day he had tried not to think too much about what had happened, though he certainly hadn't been able to stop thinking about you, and every time his mind wandered to the warmth of your voice or how soft your body looked he had to remind himself that it was useless. Even though he had that need to find you, even though he was dying to ask Changbin who you were, even though he had returned every night to the same gym at the same time just to try to see you. There were days when he came to class with nothing but his laptop and only a couple of hours of sleep, just because he had tried to search on You Tube that song you had been humming. After a few weeks, Changbin got tired of his sulking, and told him that you used to go for a run after your last afternoon class in the campus park.

So Chris stayed in his room every night.

How could he go jogging in the same place as you? At the same time? Out of nowhere? After the pitiful impression he'd left the only time you'd met? Even if you probably didn't remember? He couldn't. He would wander through that park in the afternoons, when Changbin had told him you had lessons, and sit on the grass, soaking up the good weather, to create some new melody for his music production course. Every note, every pressed key, trying to recreate the pitch of your voice, imagining you in those damn shorts running through those same streets, alone with your music and your thoughts.

The mess in his head was comparable only to the mess his roommates made whenever they could. When he returned home, he had rushed to his room, ready to go to sleep and not think about what had happened for a few hours, but the next morning it had become clear that Jisung, the third part of his artistic trio, had found out about his constant awkwardness in your presence, as Changbin couldn't keep his mouth shut 一especially if it meant he could mess with Chris一 and they hadn't been able to stop talking about it.

The anecdote had spread like wildfire among his group of friends, thanks to Jisung's comments, and before he knew it, whenever he was with them in public, he was constantly looking over his shoulder. At first, he was just keeping an eye out for you. He didn't know if he would be able to muster the courage to approach you to ask for your phone number, but he wanted to at least see you again. Afterwards, it was mostly to see you first, because he was afraid of what his friends might say. He knew that when the time came they would shut up (or at least try to), and behave like normal people, but it wasn't the first time someone had let something slip in front of someone's crush. Nor would it be the last.

Luckily, there was no chance for anyone to mess up. With less than a month left in the semester, Chris met up with one of his classmates to finish his final project, in the room Hong Joong had in the dorm on campus, and the last thing he had expected was to see you lying on his bed, your phone in your hands, smiling at the screen. You looked beautiful, your hair spilled over the pillow, a skirt that came to mid-thigh and a strapless white top that showed off the shoulders you'd worked out in the gym. Chris stood in the doorway, not listening to a word his classmate was saying, staring at you as if you were a dream from which he was about to awaken at any moment.

Hearing your brother speak, you looked up, and Chris could see the moment you realised who he was. And though your cheeks began to tinge crimson red, that time it was he who received your bright gaze and your lovely smile, his lips mimicking yours as he heard you whisper a shy "Hello, Chris," and instead of feeling like a Victorian man he felt like a victorious man, your infectious happiness the best prize. Somehow his name sounded better if you pronounced it, and in his numb state he could tell that even after so many weeks, you still remembered what his name was. Even if Changbin had said it casually, even if you had your earbuds on. You had heard it and treasured it, just as he had done with yours.

Joong asked if you knew each other, and as Chris drowned in a glass of water, not knowing how to respond, you said something about Changbin being the guy who had helped you when you didn't know anything about the gym, at the beginning of the year, and who had recently introduced you to each other. You then had a side conversation, the kind only siblings understand, between accusatory glances and apparently inoffensive comments, while Chris pulled out his laptop and hard drive. You solved it by announcing that you were going out to buy some snacks, and that he would leave you alone, and you left a peck on his cheek before kissing Chris goodbye with another, leaving the room with your heart pounding.

"Changbin had told me you had a crush, but I didn't know the mystery girl was my sister," his friend had said then, making Chris turn around at full speed, his mouth wide open. He had his hand on the spot where your lips had rested for a few seconds, and he could still feel the touch of your skin on his arm, the same arm you had used to lean on so you could kiss him. He hadn't even stopped to think about what you were doing lying on his friend's bed, because your presence had erased all rational thought from his head, but every word Joong said seemed to sink into his chest like a bitter truth. "Not even that the guy she kept talking about was you."

Wait a minute. Chris would have thought he looked pretty dumb, standing in the middle of the room, with his hard drive still in his hand, staring at Joong as if he had grown a third eye and a totally empty minded. He would have thought so if he wasn't trying to remember how to breathe, how to behave like a human, or how to think. In a matter of minutes he had been attacked with too much information, and he wasn't processing even half of it. The important thing was that Joong didn't seem angry, he supposed. He didn't, did he? He was smiling, so that must be a good sign. Chris nodded, putting his things down on the desk, as if he could work at that moment, and under his friend's amused gaze, he repeated the last sentence in his head... "She wouldn't stop talking". You? About him? Oh, my god! That was awesome! Oh, wait, that could be bad. You could have talked bad about him in a negative context. You could have complained about his creepy behaviour. Or maybe not. Probably yes, but what if you didn’t?

"I don't know how you did it, but she doesn't shut up," he continued, crossing his arms, enjoying the way Chris was blushing, deciding to give him a bit of a hard time, just to fulfil his big brother role. "And then, of course, Changbin won't shut up either. That he saw you drooling over that girl in the gym, and you kept thinking about her, that it was written all over your face, that the last two assignments for Professor Yong's class were instrumental ballads. Care to explain?”.

"I... Huh, well, she... And I, yeah..." Joong watched him swallow, his hands playing with the loose threads of his black jeans, his gaze making eye contact for a few seconds before he shied away again. He thought that if you could see him in that moment, maybe you wouldn't be so self-conscious around him, or that you'd finally make a move.

"It was like reading two books of unrequited love from Romanticism," he announced, approaching him with a relaxed posture, resting a hand gently on Chris's shoulder. "Turns out it's just a romcom film in the end."

"Romcom film?" he asked, confused, relaxing a little when he noticed the teasing tone in his voice, and the smile on his face.

"Yeah, you know. Romantic comedy," he explained, grabbing his own laptop and stuffing it in his backpack, under the watchful eye of a Chris who wasn't understanding a word. "Two idiots in love who think they can never end up together, until they do. She particularly likes The Proposal, the Ryan Reynolds one. It's on Disney+, in case you were wondering."

"Idiots in love? Ryan Reynolds? What the..."

"Look, you've got a crush on my sister, I get it," he said, hanging his backpack over his shoulder. "And she's got a crush on you too, so trust me, The Proposal" he grabbed an elastic hair band he had tucked under the sleeve of his hoodie and put it on Chris, slapping him on the arm in an affectionate way. "Don't ask her to share her packet of red jellies, she never does."

And just as he was about to add something else, the door opened, and you appeared with your hair a little dishevelled and a plastic bag in your hand. Your smile was still plastered on your face, as if you had been on a wonderful adventure while you had been away, or as if returning to your brother's room was always returning to a place where you felt good. You lifted your bag, announcing what you had bought, and headed for the small portable kitchen your brother had to store it in.

"I'm going to have to go," Joong said, before his silence was too suspicious.

"What, why, what happened?" you turned around with a worried gesture that made Chris' heart melt, questioning your brother with your rounded eyes.

"Hwa's lost half of what we recorded the other day" he whispered, as if it bothered him, as if he hadn't just made it up. "I have to go check if it's retrievable or if we need to record it all over again, before it's too late to submit it. Can you include Chris in your movie afternoon? Changbin doesn't finish his shift for another hour and a half and he's the one who was going to drive him back home."

Wow, a round of applause to the new nominee for best leading actor. Brilliant performance. Using Changbin as an alibi was a smart move, he wasn't going to deny it, but he was more afraid of your reaction: paralyzed, eyes fixed on your brother, almost as if you had gone pale. He was quick to deny Joong's words, "You don't have to, really. I can walk back or even go to the library."

But his words seemed to make it all worse, because you looked at him even more frightened, until you both heard HongJoong throat clearing. You then seemed to come back to life, the plastic bag still in your hands, moving with nervous speed around the room, nodding without looking Chris in the eye. Great, he was sure he was totally making you uneasy. But before he could apologise, you announced that you were going to change your top in the bathroom, that it was too hot outside and you were uncomfortable, and kissed your brother goodbye on the cheek before disappearing.

And then Joong disappeared too, as if leaving you both alone was his main priority, and he stood in the middle of the room trying to figure out what to do. He put his things in his backpack, so he wouldn't forget anything when he left, and took out a couple of bowls to put the chips you'd bought and the bag of red round jellies you had set aside on the table. When he turned around and tried to figure out where to put them, that was when he realized that the TV was in front of the bed, and there was no couch. Crap. He'd have to leave the bowls at the foot of the bed, and then what, sit and wait for you?

He had no choice, so he threw a blanket on the bed and leaned down to wait for you, pulling out his phone and checking messages he wasn't going to answer yet, just to make some time. When the bathroom door opened and you stepped out, still wearing your top but visibly calmer, the first thing you did was turn to him, a strained smile on your face, "Listen, if you want to do your music, or go home, or whatever... You don't need to stay and babysit me. I can even drive you around if you want me to.""Oh, no, I don't babysit" he explained trying to find an excuse that sounded reasonable but without showing how much he was looking forward to spending time by your side, "I needed a relaxing afternoon anyway".

"Oh" you mumbled, as if you weren't expecting that answer. "What movie do you want to watch then?"

"The... Proposal?" he stammered, somewhat unsure.

"Oh, my god!" you exclaimed, hiding your open mouth behind your hands in a gesture of surprise. "You know that movie?"

"Of course, I love Ryan Reynolds!" he replied, because it was still true after all.

"I love Ryan Reynolds too!" you repeated, giggling, your shoulders moving slightly and that smile he was dying to see curving your lips. "C’mon, sit next to me."

You snuggled against your brother's pillow, the bag of jellies in your lap, reaching for the movie with the remote, and sighed when the poster appeared on the screen, hitting play in a heartbeat. You looked at him as you opened the package, your doe eyes wide, waiting for him to settle in, the intro music playing in the background, and Chris wondered if a date with you would feel like this. So familiar and normal, like he belonged with you. And as Ryan Reynolds' alarm went off and he shut it off, stressed about being late, Chris sat next to you, shoulder to shoulder, and tried to pay attention.

It was hard, knowing that after so many weeks spent so eager to find you, to see you again, he suddenly had you at such close reach, he could almost touch you, and yet the distance was still there. So he let the minutes pass, staring at the screen without seeing anything, soaking in your body warmth, listening to your occasional laughter, not touching the food, until suddenly you stopped the movie.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as if the one acting strange was you.

"It's my favorite movie and you're not comfortable," you said, frowning.

"Yes I am..."

"Is it because of something Joong said?" you interrupted, apprehensive. "Did he mention something about me?"

"I..." his throat was dry, knowing that if he didn't start the conversation off on the right foot, you might get the impression. "It was about... You know, the... huh, mm-hm."

"The crush" you breathed, leaning your head against the wall, closing your eyes in a defeated gesture.

You were silent for a few moments, Chris repeating word for word every sentence, trying not to let it show how horrible he felt about what he had said, and you wishing you could disappear, wishing you could murder your brother, wishing you had never left your house that afternoon. You knew Joong would never do anything that could hurt you, but maybe he hadn't thought it through before selling you out like that in front of the only boy you'd ever shown any interest in.

"Is it childish?" asked Chris.

"What?"

"It's childish that ever since I first saw you at the gym I wanted to stay by your side forever?" he knew the phrase he'd been repeating in his head for weeks had been the best choice when he saw how quickly you turned to look him in the eye, that soft tone in your irises glowing with happiness, your heart about to burst out of your chest.

"I don't know" you replied, your lips slowly curving into that smile that had enamored Chris from the beginning. "It's childish for me to buy round red jellies just because if I press one of the sides before I eat them, hearts form?"

"Yes?" his smile mirroed yours, as if you were having a parallel conversation with your gazes, one that only the two of you could understand.

"Maybe," you affirmed, taking one and forming a heart, "but I don't care. I like sweets. And I like you. Do you want one?"

He took the heart from your hands, watching it as if it were your own heart, treating it gently, not caring about the sugar sprinkles he was leaving on his fingers, or that he was throwing across the bed, and before he popped it in his mouth and could savor that intense strawberry flavor that was to become his favorite, he murmured:

"I like you too".

And when instead of going back to your pillow you cuddled against him, his arm sliding over your shoulders, he knew that yes, that's what a date with you felt like. And as he left a tender kiss on your forehead and you pressed play, he felt it was familiar and normal, because it was obvious that deep down inside you belonged together.

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© stayconnecteed 2024 · do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms

[stayconnecteed]

hi bby <3 i just saw your post and im here to request something 👉👈

i wondering if you could work something with jisung and love at first sight? idk i've been watching too many romcoms lately. it's totally okay if you don't want to write it though, love you <33

🪐˓⠀˚⠀summertime longing⠀@⠀han jisung.

bridgerton au , jisung is head over heels for you ㅤ—⠀⠀at first sight. mention of little wounds ( scratches, really ) & soonie is a paid actor hehe 🫶🏼 this is not a part of my dear gentleman oneshots & it's not proofread. i hate to write on my phone but i don't have my laptop. hope you like it, mana 🤍

SEE MORE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀2.4k words. ⠀⠀general mlist.⠀⠀join taglist.

The carriage stopped, and Jisung didn't wait for the door to open before jumping out. He was late, and although it wasn't unusual, his old friend Minho would kill him if he didn't show up on time. He didn't bother to look at his pocket watch as he walked the cobblestone path of the Lee manor's entrance, flashing an apologetic smile at the housekeeper who had watched him grow up as she opened the door for him before his fingers caressed the metal knocker. The hall was empty, the only source of noise the bustle coming from the kitchen, and Jisung knew that the guests had already been moved to the garden. Minho was going to notice his absence. Shit.

He hurried through the hallways, the rustle of the fabric of his pants ringing in his ears with each step as the only soundtrack to his march, until he reached the large glass windows of the blue room. He stood in the doorway, taking a deep breath to calm the erratic beating of his heart, flattening the lapels of his suit jacket against his chest. He wanted to think that the shaking in his hands was a creation of his creative mind, but in reality it was just a side effect of his lack of social skills. Jisung closed his eyes. He didn't know why he kept arriving late to places when it made him so uncomfortable to have to enter a room full of people totally alone.

Then he realised that on that occasion the people were in the garden, and he was the one who remained in the room, and he chuckled, shaking his head. What an idiot. He would be fine. Plus, he knew the Lees — it wasn't going to be that bad.

The first to see him as soon as he stepped out onto the terrace was Lady Lee, the Earl of Gimpo, and she quickly gestured for him to come towards her, ignoring the panicked face of the man who should have announced him when he arrived. He did not have to force the smile that curved his lips in reflection of the one that the woman in front of him had, and he responded to her effusive greeting and affectionate comments with easy laughter and lots of promises of meetings with his own mother as soon as possible.

Minho and his family had been travelling all spring, and now that the first rays of sun heralded summer in its most comforting form, they had finally returned, to enjoy the few months of heat before the new season began. And Jisung couldn't wait to hug his best friend again, even if it meant putting up with all the jokes about the experience he had gained in Europe and how little he had been missed. It was part of who Minho was, all the teasing and the sharp smirks, and the least he could do was get to his welcome back event on time, which… Well, he hadn't been able to do it.

Lady Lee's attention slid from her son's friend to the man she had been chatting with before, and Jisung offered a respectful bow, trying to finally find Minho in the crowd. Until he found his broad shoulders moving in silent laughter at his companion's words. And he saw you, the companion, giggling too, covering your mouth with an expert twist of your fan, your cheeks flushed, in front of Minho. Then you looked at him, and for a minute he forgot everything about how to breathe. 

Because looking into your eyes was like listening to a melody. He could hear the quartet that Minho's mother had chosen for the event playing from the little wooden platform by the lake, but it was a completely different tune than that. Your gaze, cheerful and serene, sang of mischievous breezes swaying the treetops at will, of dances without music barefoot on the grass and of the warm rays of the sun kissing your skin. You brought the summer with you, that summer that filled him with life and hope, and as he lost himself in your bright pupils, standing among the crowd, he wondered how his heart had been able to beat until that moment when it didn't had you to beat for.

“Hey, Ji!” Minho called his name, approaching him in a couple of steps, and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. Minho was dry in words, but his actions showed clearly enough how he truly felt about his friends.

Jisung's body reacted with the force of habit, letting himself be embraced and tightening his grip on Minho, as if he was afraid that he would get back on that ship with the desire to travel the world. He couldn't allow it, at least for a long time. Or unless they went together. And after one last squeeze he let him step away, Jisung's hand firm on Minho's back, as the Lees' only son turned to you.

“This is Lord Han, as I told you,” he explained, and you bowed before him, lowering your head with a lingering smile curving your lips. Jisung wanted to kiss that smile into his mouth, but he cleared his throat instead, trying to fill his mind with other — more appropriate — thoughts.

“Milady here wanted to visit our city,” he continued, offering his hand to you, waiting for you to rest it over his, and squeeze it with a familiarity that made Jisung’s heart sting, “so I proposed to her to travel back with us and stay for a while. She was the girl I told you about in my last letter.”

The last letter that had arrived that morning, and that he hadn't read because he was arriving late.

“Then you were absolutely right, my brother,” Jisung uttered, his words withering in his tongue as he linked the word ‘propose’ between you and Minho, “you were going to try to find beautiful views out there in the world. You truly discovered the most breathtaking one.”

Minho gave Jisung a playful punch on the shoulder, his chest filling with pride, ready to affirm any compliment his friend could mutter about you, but he stopped when he saw you addressing Jisung, your voice soft and honeyed, still hidden behind your fan. 

“My lord really praised your composer skills during our trip here,” you whispered, averting your magnetic gaze from his as if you were having trouble bearing the knowledge that Jisung was observing you, completely stunned, but also desperate to have a conversation with you. “He forgot to add how much of a gentleman you were.”

Jisung accepted your words with a light blush covering his cheeks, and he raised his hand almost instantly, narrowing his eyes and waiting, until you released your hold on Minho's hand and let yours rest on Jisung's. His breath got caught in his throat as he felt the soft fabric of your gloves on his fingers, and he wanted to imagine that the way you held your own breath was also due to the touch his lips left on the back of your hand — the greeting of any gentleman. 

And just before either of you could say a single word, you heard Lady Lee scream by the terrace, absolutely stressed, and a spark of orange fur running across the grass like a shooting star in the darkest night. Minho gasped, and Jisung knew. His cats.

You were the one who took the initiative, smashing your fan into Minho's chest and grabbing the hem of your dress in one swift move, following the mischievous creature at a fast pace, ignoring the calls of the rest of the men at the event. Jisung stared at you, starstruck, before running after you. It wasn't the first time he had dealt with Minho's cats, they knew him, for them you were a stranger. It would be his fault if the animal started to get stressed and ended up hurting you. 

The hurried race took him to the forest adjacent to the Lee property, and by the time Jisung spotted you among the foliage, he froze. Your bun had come loose, your hair loose falling over your back, and you had your dress pulled too far up your thighs, fully prepared to climb the tree where Soonie was waiting, curious about what you were doing.

Jisung couldn't think. He didn't know if you had heard him arrive, but he didn't care. He could only focus on the smooth skin he was witnessing — more than he had ever seen in his life — contrasting with the colour of your dress. You didn’t seem uncomfortable being barefoot, your low heels abandoned among the thick roots of the weeping willow, one foot resting on a gap between the folds of the robust trunk and your hands holding tightly to the lowest branches. 

It would be difficult to reach Soonie, because its branch, although low, was too thin for a human, even dangerous with the way it was located above the lake. Jisung could understand why the cat had chosen that tree. He also liked the way its leaves swayed in the wind, and it really did look like a giant feline toy, but they already had scratching toys and little houses in the manor, all handmade by Minho. The adventure had to end before something went wrong.

But before he could warn you of his presence, a leaf creaked under his boots, alerting you, scaring you, and making you lose focus on your tightrope walk along the branch below Soonie's. You lost your balance completely, and Jisung saw your hands trying to grab onto something, anything, before falling into a loud splash on the edge of the lake. Jisung would have laughed if his heart hadn't jumped in his chest, if you had been someone else, if he wasn't so deeply scared that you were seriously wounded. 

He rushed over to where you were, mumbling a string of “I'm sorry’s” as you emerged from the water, taking a breath of oxygen, holding onto the hand Jisung was offering you. Your hair formed spirals in the water, floating around you, just like your dress. Jisung felt so overstimulated that he wasn't able to process how he had just gotten his pants wet, the level of the water reaching over his waist. All he could think about was that your gloves had torn, and that he was touching your skin, the soft but bloody skin of your outstretched hands, and that you were so close that he could feel your rapid breathing on his arm. 

He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were popping into his head, and pulled you lightly so you could stand up. Only instead of getting angry with him, blaming him for spying on you, your lips curved into a smile, and you let out a crystalline laugh, closing your eyes and relaxing your shoulders before him. You were the picture of happiness, cheeks still rosy and your chest rising and falling against the corset at full speed. Even he felt on edge, with adrenaline bubbling everywhere. 

“There’s no need to be sorry, lord Han” you whispered under your breath, your eyes falling over him, Soonie purring above your heads. “It was a funny accident. I shouldn't have tried to climb so high.”

You weren't apologizing for running away but for not thinking about the density of the branch, Jisung noticed, and he couldn't help but widen his smile at it. He was getting lost in your gaze again, too captured by you, and everything was going too fast. He didn't know if it was good or bad, but he didn't want it to stop. Until he realised that you were getting goosebumps, and the first shiver ran through you. He cursed himself for not having acted sooner, and helped you out of the lake with difficulty, the ground on the shore completely muddy. You were cold.

Jisung avoided looking at you as he turned slightly to take off his expensive suit jacket, ready to give it to you, but when he turned to offer it, he saw that you were removing your dress. He was quick to put his jacket on you before you could continue, shame creeping up his neck and leaving a trail of blush in its wake, and you flashed a mischievous smile, fully aware.

“I’m not going to end up naked, lord Han” you assured him, grabbing the thick fabric of your dress and leaving it on the grass, the figure of your body crafted by the thin white nightgown you wore underneath, before snuggling into Jisung's warm black blazer, “you should court me first.”

Your words snapped Jisung out of the haze he was in, suppressing the urge he had to run his hands along your arms to help you warm up, and he picked up your dress and shoes from the floor, keeping his hands well occupied. He was a gentleman, he shouldn't… He had to involve you both in situations appropriate for a young lady like you. Not in an improvised swim, where you were going to end up so... God, so delicate and delicious, looking at him that way. 

He couldn’t. Not when everyone knew where you were, when Soonie was judging you two among the roots of the trees, approaching Jisung with the confidence of having found a familiar human. Before he could get any closer, you crouched down, holding out your fingers so he could smell them. It took a suspicious look and realising that Minho's cologne was still soaked in you to accept being held in your arms, sticking to your body to provide you with more warmth. 

Jisung had to remember to buy Soonie more treats the next time he visited Minho. 

“Are you coming?” you asked, oblivious to the way the vision you were was killing Jisung inside, you in his clothes, with that cheeky smile, your hair a wet mess but still looking so beautiful.

Still, he nodded, treasuring every second in his memory. One look, and you had cast a spell on him. He would follow you wherever you asked as long as you were the one to guide him. He knew he was in love, because you held his heart in your hand as easily as you had taken Minho's cat, and if you broke it it would hurt more than a bad cut with a rusty knife. He had fallen catastrophically, and was now at your total mercy. The worst part, however, was that he didn't care at all.

© stayconnecteed 2024 ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment or reblogging.

[babybearcubbs]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mars this was amazing!!! Brb running to your ask box🏃🏽

❪⠀🪐.⠀24 to 25⠀𓏔⠀kim seungmin⠀❫

☆ㅤidol!kim seungmin x afab!reader⠀★⠀5.3k words

warnings: mentions of reader's mom passing away in the past, maybe reader being a little bit workaholic, insecurities about getting to know more your boyfriend's family... but then just fluff.

( i'm late ーas alwaysー but happy chris-mas to everyone here or winter break to those who doesn't celebrate!! hope you like my silly fluff seungmin fic ♡ )

You had never enjoyed the classic idyllic Christmas, with big family dinners, serving feasts that took too long to prepare, listening to laughter and lively conversation as everyone helped set the table. The next morning it had been unusual for you to find big presents under the tree, or a lazy breakfast still wrapped in blankets, with a satisfied smile on your face. You hadn't had a bad time, your mother had always tried to make it happy for the little family you and your twin sister formed, but your winter holidays had always been different from those of your classmates. And even more so since your mother had passed away ーher absence left behind one of the coldest Decembers you had ever experienced.

Luckily your job kept you pretty busy, travelling practically all year and asking for the shifts on those specific days. Your colleagues thanked you every year, thinking that it cost you as much as they did to give up an afternoon of family happiness, but you didn't really care. You knew it meant a lot to them, and it was good for you to keep your head occupied on those chilly nights, so you smiled at their words and ducked your head, feeling a little uncomfortable at their effusiveness.

The only time you had been to one of these dinners had been your niece's first Christmas. You knew your brother-in-law, and you adored him and the rest of his family, whom you had met at your sister's wedding. So your reluctance was not because you disliked them ーthey had never given you reason to doubt their kindness or hospitalityー but because you knew that this was not your home. You had attempted to insert yourself into their conversations, contributing jokes and anecdotes, talking about your sister and your childhood, but you didn't quite fit in. They already had their family roles covered, and you could only tiptoe on the sidelines, adopting the role of nanny to your niece instead of aunt.

The whole situation was something you were unwilling to repeat, and the fact that your job allowed you to take refuge in unplanned trips and night shifts made you hide in hours of paperwork and made-up appointments, especially when someone suggested plans. This continued even when you met Seungmin. You had met at a Starbucks in Los Angeles in the summer, a couple of years ago, and he had almost thrown his coffee all over you. He knew he shouldn't have, but after hearing you respond to his apology in Korean, he couldn't help but ask for your number. And after that meeting you went on a couple of dates in Seoul, slowly falling in love with every bit of your lives that you decided to share with each other.

Despite all the time you had been together, you were both quite reserved, so it was no surprise to anyone that each of you still lived separately. Besides, on those important dates he usually also had to work on creating themed content with his Kpop group, or even making a quick visit to his family before coming into your flat with just the right amount of energy to take a shower and fall asleep in your arms. Those Christmas were your favourite. Nothing out of the ordinary, just being able to enjoy his warmth and company, the two of you, in a quiet moment.

This year you were in Berlin. The firm you worked for had organised a Christmas campaign in the German capital, and it was your turn to go, since your return date was just after Christmas Eve. Seungmin had a busy afternoon filming the SBS Gayo Daejeon Christmas music festival, so you weren't going to be able to see each other anyway. You weren't worried. He could spend Christmas Eve with his family, and you would enjoy the rest of his days off between your place and his dorm, watching movies and drinking hot chocolate, even going for long walks around the city if it didn't snow too much.

That was your plan, at least, until two days after landing in Europe, jet lag still slowly leaving your system, you received a call at four in the morning. The number was saved under Seungmin's sister's name, and your heart started pounding at the possibility that something terrible might have happened to your boyfriend. People only call at dawn if it's to deliver bad news, right? And you had a cordial relationship with his family, having eaten with them on a few occasions. It was not as if that level of relationship would allow calls simply because they were interested in your welfare, there wasn't that much trust yet.

"Seunghee unnie?" you asked, your voice slightly raspy, eyes buried to shield yourself from the bright screen of your phone.

"YN-ah! Hii!" she exclaimed, and you winced at her volume, pushing the phone away slightly.

"What happened?" you breathed, barely able to keep the words in your mouth, sitting up slightly and turning the light on low. You weren't going to be able to sleep after this.

"Happened?" stuttered Seunghee, his animated voice dropping at the way you had spoken. "Why would anything happen?"

"It's four o'clock in the morning, unnie," you explained, stifling a yawn. "In Korea I suppose it would be ten or twelve, I don't know, but here it's still dark here".

You heard her muffle an exclamation, and she hastily stammered out a string of halting apologies, the knot of worry in your chest slowly unravelling. Seungmin was fine, then. Nothing bad had happened to him.

"Forgive me, Ynnie, really" he whispered one last time, and you noticed the panic from the other line.

"It's alright" you replied, a soft chuckle leaving your lips, rubbing your eyes with your free hand to get rid of any trace of sleepiness you might have had.

"Seungminnie mentioned you were working," she told you, "but we all assumed you were in Seoul, not travelling. I wouldn't have called now if I'd known, let alone over a silly thing like this."

"Oh, but it's not nonsense, unnie" you reproached, sitting cross-legged on the soft hotel mattress, "if you were calling for something, tell me, I'm listening".

"In our house, since my brother is an idol, we celebrate Christmas with him at a dinner on December 25th," she said, after taking a deep breath, "at least the closest family. And since he always complains that you hardly see each other because of your schedules, Omma suggested that I should invite you to that dinner. It's a surprise for Seungmin, but also because we love having you at home!"

You were silent for a few moments, processing the information she had just shared with you. You knew that your boyfriend valued every moment you shared, but you had never noticed that he felt it was too little. You had assumed that both of you were comfortable with the dynamic you had, seeing each other a couple of times a week if he didn't have a schedule or you weren't travelling. It had worked so far. And even though you had started to want to spend more time with him, you hadn't said anything because you had assumed you were fine with it. But he had complained to his family instead of talking about it with you, and you worried that he felt there were things he couldn't tell you.

"Ynnie?" whispered Seunghee, pulling you out of your mind, and causing you to clear your throat, letting her know you were listening. "I didn't mean to make you doubt your relationship with my brother."

"No..."

"You did doubt," she stated, interrupting you, and sighing softly before continuing. "I know we don't talk much, and maybe it was my fault because I'm introverted, but I really like you. You're a big-hearted, strong girl, and you're a good listener. You make Seungmin very happy, and that's all I'm looking for."

"Unnie, I..." you began to murmur, flooded with affection.

"I want to be friends with you, YN," she added, and you could taste the fondness in her words, "you deserve that I call you dongsaeng. And it's not about Seungminnie, it's about us".

"I want it too, unnie," you managed to stammer out, a wide smile blooming on your lips, "I'm in love with Seungmin, and I know we both want our love to last. To be considered one of your family would be an honour."

"From the moment you first came home, we already consider you part of our family," Seunghee told you, letting out a chuckle at your exclamation of surprise. "You're very dear to us, dongsaeng, and you got into our hearts very quickly. Omma always asks Seungmin to share with her anything about you".

You felt your cheeks flush at her words, forgetting what time it was or where you were, and simply enjoying a pleasant conversation with your sister-in-law, "So, the dinner you were talking about?"

"Oh, yes!" she said, the talk flowing as if you both had a weight off your shoulders, "On the 25th in the evening. Seungmin is busy until six in the evening, and then he's coming over. I don't know what your schedule is like, but we'd like you to come as a surprise".

"I think I can do that," you whispered, your mind calculating hours, the time gap between countries and the flights you had booked, "maybe I'd be a little late, but Seungmin already thinks I won't be there. I told him I'd take the plane to land in Incheon on the 26th".

"Perfect!" she exclaimed, and you heard her get up from wherever she was sitting, repeating your words to someone. "Omma says to dress however you like and if there's anything typical for Christmas that you really like or don't like at all let us know so we can change the menu."

"Oh, no, please, there's no need" you protested, pouting, not knowing how to accept so much concern and interest, "I'll take anything, really."

"I'm going to pretend you said bulgogi and kimchi and hope you like them" she commented, switching to an inexperienced and certainly cute English, "because my mother only knows Korean, but she's not capable of taking no for an answer."

You let out a laugh at your mother-in-law's antics, which reminded you too much of your own mother's, and just told her that yes, you liked it, that even if you didn't like it you would eat it anyway, just because they had made it for you, that you would go that night, and as many nights as they wanted you there, and that of course you were willing to meet her on your days off, and make room on your busy ones. It felt like a ray of hope in all your lonely, calm Christmas, and you wanted it to mark a before and after in your life.

That's how you got involved in this situation. As soon as you got off the plane you had sent a message to Seunghee, with whom you had started chatting a lot, and she had not been able to hide the sincere smile that curved her lips when she read it. You glanced at the clock, your heart pounding at the speed of the hands, checking everything you had to do before heading to the Kims' apartment. You were to avoid the area where you knew Seungmin lived, and the entire route from where the music festival was being filmed, which his manager had very kindly shared with you when you had explained the plan.

You needed to take a shower, and go back to your home to get everything ready. Since your conversation with your sister-in-law you had rethought many aspects of your relationship with your boyfriend, only for the better, of course, and you had come to the conclusion that you were ready to go one step further. That's why on the way to your apartment you had to pick up something you had previously ordered. You took a cab, trying to avoid walking your huge suitcase around Seoul, and made the relevant stops before taking refuge in the comfort of your home, doing the same routine you followed after every trip: unpack, set up the washing machine, put away bathroom products and charge your laptop.

And it was when you stepped into the bathroom, the glass partition blurred with steam and water cascading over your head, that you let out all the air you had been holding in your lungs. You had plenty of time to get ready now, everything was going according to what you had talked about. Seunghee had warned you that his brother would take at least an hour to arrive, because he also wanted to relax a bit after his performance, and in the cab ride you had seen a few minutes of the live he had done with his group on You Tube. You hadn't been able to enjoy his performances, although you were sure that both the Stray Kids and the one he had in duet with Jeongin had turned out great, but you knew that Seungmin preferred you to watch them in front of him anyway so that he could witness your emotional reactions to his voice.

As his mother had told you, you didn't dress up much, and Seunghee had warned you to take it as an obligation. Matriarch Kim's intention was for you to approach this Christmas dinner like any other family gathering, and to be comfortable, so following her words you dressed up in jeans you had recently bought and one of your boyfriend's favorite hoodies. It had snowed quite a bit the day before from what you had seen on your cab ride, so you bundled up as much as you could before leaving home.

It was a few neighborhoods from your apartment to your destination, so you had no choice but to take the subway. The transport service in Seoul was quite expensive, and by using the cab on the way there you had denied yourself the possibility of using it on the way back: your salary was not enough to waste it on trips that you could perfectly well make by subway. So, with your beanie on, you made sure to leave the apartment locked, and headed back to the street, where it was quite cold. Your exhalations rose like clouds of steam as you breathed, and even with your hands in your pockets you could feel the biting temperature that made both the tip of your nose and your cheeks flush.

You hadn't seen each other for a while. It hadn't been the best time for you because since he had started practicing for his comeback you had only met a couple of times, but in mid-November you had had to travel all the way to the United States, then back to Korea for a quick meeting with your firm's management and then a long stay in Japan before heading to Germany. It had been really crazy, and that without counting Seungmin's own schedule. That's why you'd seen him pout so many times in your video calls, complaining that your demanding jobs wouldn't allow you to see each other face to face until almost New Year's 一and considering he still had shows to go to. But you both knew it was going to be difficult when you started your romance, no wonder you had met on the other side of the map.

The fact that you were going to be present at one of his family gatherings, as important as they were to him, was going to be a statement of intent on your part. It was your way of assuring him that you were committed to him, that even though you had only been together for a few years, you were serious about it. And that was the main reason why you were so nervous, your leg anxiously going up and down against the platform's polished floor. You checked the time again, looking at the information screen of the subway arrivals and departures, and stood up when you saw that the one you were supposed to take was just around the corner, deciding to stretch your legs when you noticed they were starting to freeze from the cold.

The wagon you had gotten into was practically empty, but you didn't pay much attention either, your mind busy checking that you had packed everything you needed in your bag. Since you had started dating Seungmin, only the last two Christmases had he returned from his parents' home, past midnight, to sleep next to you. You didn't know if that would be the case that night, but you had packed your overnight bag just in case: if the only reason he didn't sleep in his room when he was a teenager was you, maybe the fact that you were there would make him stay.

Seungmin had indeed called for a cab. After SBS Gayo Daejeon he had gone for a walk with Jeongin to take some photos to upload to Instagram later, but they had to return shortly to the dressing room. They had almost twenty minutes to change before starting the You Tube live, and by the time they had finished, night had fallen over Seoul. They still had some energy in the car ride back to the dorms, adrenaline coursing through their systems, just like every time they performed in front of fans, and he used it to shower in record time and change into some baggy pants and his favorite oversize jacket. He considered texting you, but he didn't know what time it was in Berlin and he had to take a cab if he wanted to get to his family dinner before the starters.

The short ride was quiet, the driver playing soft music in the background while he looked out the window at the snowy landscape, the mask covering the lower half of his face. After paying he hurried out of the vehicle, slung the backpack in which he brought clothes for the next day over his shoulder and hurried across the sidewalk to enter the building as soon as possible. He had his keys in his backpack, neatly tucked away, but he had always liked to ring the doorbell. At first he hadn't done it because he felt that by entering with his own keys that was still his house, but over time he had accepted that his home was his group mates, and later you, and he understanding that he shouldn't limit his home to one place had allowed him to enjoy the look of joy on his mother's face when she opened the door and saw him on the other side.

That time who greeted him was his older sister, and though he saw her frown for a moment, he suddenly found himself wrapped in her arms, her cheek on his chest, and felt his own face soften at the familiar contact.

"I'd forgotten you rang the doorbell" she whispered, Seungmin draping his arms over her back to comfort her. "You have to come more often."

He made a slight affirmative noise, leaving it up to Seunghee to decide when to part ways. One of the big differences between his sister and him was that she was a big fan of physical contact 一it was her love language. Even if Seungmin wasn't a enthusiast of it he knew that his sister had been going through a rough time after his debut and any little moment he could spend by his side was welcome, hence the constant messages of affection and support. He was her little brother, after all.

"Seungmin!" exclaimed his mother from somewhere in the kitchen as soon as Seunghee had separated, as if she could sense what her two sons were doing at all times.

"Hello, omma!" he replied, walking the few steps that separated him from her and taking refuge in her warmth, "merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, son" said his father behind them, resting a hand on his back affectionately, while his mother left soft kisses on his cheek.

"Merry Christmas" he breathed, swallowing the lump in his throat. He would never accept it, but coming back to his childhood house on such a cold day, when he was totally exhausted, to dine on his mother's delicious home-cooked meal was like going back to his early days. And it made him very nostalgic.

"Now that you're here we can go bring the dishes to the table" his mother indicated, wiping her hands on her apron and turning to the counter to finish plating the bulgogi. Seungmin flashed a shadow of a smile as he remembered that it was one of your favorite meals, and picked up the dishes she had prepared by the sink to go set the table.

"Why are there five dishes here?" he asked, confused, as he entered the dining room and began to set them. He heard a thump in the hallway and saw his sister on the floor. "Noona?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she hastened to say, leaving the chair she had been perched on in the kitchen and taking the dishes from his hands, "Omma must have miscounted, let me do it."

Seungmin looked at her with narrowed eyes and raised an eyebrow, "Since when did you prefer to set the table yourself rather than me?"

"Oh please, just accept it and be happy," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "Like you're not exhausted. Go help appa wrap presents for our cousins."

He chose to shrug and listen to her as the best option, knowing how bossy she could get if things didn't go her way. So he ended up in his father's office, cutting up pieces of tape and passing them to him so he could fold the decorated paper over the boxes of toys his little cousins would receive the next day. He tried not to pout as he realized that for another year he was going to have to watch their reactions on video, and listened to his father tell him how his grandparents were doing, then explained his plans with Stray Kids for the next year.

It struck him as odd that his sister was so quiet, or how attentive she was to her phone, at least when their mother called them to take the starters. He frowned again when he saw the fifth plate next to Seunghee's, and decided to risk being wrong, but find out what the heck was up with that damn plate.

"Is anyone else coming to dinner?" he asked, in an innocent tone, his heart skipping a beat as he saw his mother's surprised look and his sister's gesture, "You have a boyfriend!" he accused her, covering his mouth with his hand dramatically.

"I don't have a boyfriend!" protested Seunghee, resting her hands on the table, willing to avoid showing the relief she felt at seeing that her brother didn't suspect anything.

"Girlfriend?" he hesitated, ignoring tired sigh from his mother.

"Oh, please" she repeated, just as she had done a few minutes before. "I wouldn't bring my date on Christmas for you to meet, I wouldn't be that inconsiderate."

"Wow, noona" Seungmin replied, to his father's amused look, "you're never going to get over it."

Yes, the first time you had met your sister-in-law had been at Christmas, three years ago. You had seen your in-laws one afternoon in early November, when Seungmin had announced that he had a girlfriend, but Seunghee had been out of town, missing the occasion completely. Seungmin had taken you to breakfast 25th December in the morning, before you had your shift at work, and it had been somewhat awkward because Seunghee was quite an enthusiastic person, but only when there weren't unknown people in the middle 一as you were一, so you had communicated in monosyllables until it was time to leave.

And no, she hadn't gotten over the fact that Seungmin had chosen that date as the day he was introducing you for the first time.

Seunghee had to find any excuse that would allow her to steer the topic of conversation to one that wasn't the fifth person invited to dinner, at least until you walked the few streets from where you had gotten off the subway to get there. The latest news was that you had arrived at the indicated stop about five minutes early, so you should be about to arrive. And she was ready to start an argument with her brother, just like they always ended up doing playfully, if it meant her surprise wasn't ruined.

"Well, if you'd thought first before you brought her" she protested, getting into her role, "maybe we'd be friends now."

"I don't need you to be friends with her" Seungmin replied, leaning back against his chair, "we're fine as we are."

"Enough, kids" warned their mother pointedly, clapping her hands, but smiling warmly. Even if she heard them bickering all day she couldn't help but adore them.

"You should bring her home more often" his father murmured, his eyes sparkling with mischief, earning a look that exuded betrayal from his daughter and an impassive gesture from his son.

"It's hard to find dates that suit both of us," he explained, hiding his discontent at that information he had so often shared and so little liked, "because living so far away, and between her travels and my work…"

And then the doorbell rang. His father's smile curved even more, his mother let out a soft chuckle, but no one moved. Seungmin exchanged a glance with Seunghee, and at the visible nervousness she displayed, he stood up abruptly, exclaiming "Oh my god you do have a boyfriend!". And although his intention was indeed to be the first to discover his older sister's supposed new partner, as he opened the door, he made eye contact with you, and then he was the one who was petrified.

He ran his gaze over you, his eyes fixing on your flushed cheeks, how much your eyes sparkled, your beautiful smile, your wind-blown hair, the coat you had decided to wear, in which you seemed to be drowning with delight. For a moment he didn't know how to react, his mouth ajar eliciting muffled laughter from his family, his heart pounding. He wasn't able to process your presence in such a different environment than usual, on such an uncommon date, no… it couldn't be you, really, after being separated for weeks. But then he heard your crystalline laughter, your eyes dwarfing into two beautiful crescents, and he opened his arms for you to shelter between them.

He could smell your shampoo, the familiar scent tickling his nose as he had rested his cheek on your head. Hell, he could smell his own cologne on the article of clothing you were wearing. And more importantly, he could feel you. Your arms around his waist, the soft flutter of your eyelashes brushing against his collarbone, your heart, as fast as his, beating against his chest. You were, next to him, and like every time you met again after a long time, he swore to himself that he wasn't going to let you leave again, not for weeks, not without him.

You closed your eyes, grimacing, and held, palm up, the key you had picked up just after arriving in Seoul. You sighed, before opening them and meeting your boyfriend's confused gaze, and took his hand, keeping the key inside his fist and kissing the back of it, your lips sending a shiver through his body.

"They're the keys to my apartment" you explained, looking at him with a shy smile curving your lips. "I asked my sister to make me a copy while I was in Berlin to give to you as a Christmas present."

"But why would I want the keys to your apartment?" he asked, his frown making him look like a puppy. "I only go when you're there. There's no use for me to go if you're not there."

Unable to help it, you pouted, your heart feeling the warmth of his words, but you shook your head, "They're not for you to come whenever you want, pabo," you told him, taking his hands between yours, "they're for you to move in with me, for us to live together."

You heard Seunghee stifle an excited cry behind his brother's back and hurriedly explain to his mother what you had just muttered. Seungmin had gone still again, holding his breath, believing that if he stopped breathing perhaps the moment would last forever, that if he stayed like that long enough he could soak in the sound of her heartbeat and record every second into his memory.

"What do you say, eh?" you asked, your nerves betraying you at the last second and causing your voice to crack a little. You cleared your throat, waiting for an answer, "Do you... huh, do you want to move in with me?"

Seungmin rested the hand that wasn't holding the key against your cheek, cradling it, his skin soft against yours, and looked at you with misty eyes, on the verge of tears. And he nodded. He nodded, because he knew if he opened his mouth he'd burst into tears, and then he thought if he got like this over a key, it was going to be funny how much he'd cry when he proposed to you, and then he let out a laugh, lowering his gaze just enough so that his blond bangs hid from you what he was feeling.

"Oh, come on, Kim Seungmin," her mother threatened, who had her father's arm around her hip in an affectionate gesture, "you can tell her yes and kiss her now."

"Yeah," Seunghee added, winking at you, "I didn't fall out of the chair placing the mistletoe for nothing. It's tradition, you have to kiss each other."

You both looked up at the same time, noticing the two small branches of mistletoe placed with red ribbon on the door frame, the dark green leaves highlighting the cheerful vermilion of its round fruits, and when you looked straight ahead again, Seungmin already had his gaze on you, just like always. He loved watching you, making you feel seen, important, noticing all those little quirks you had that had made him fall for you.

"I want to live with you, YN" he breathed, his exhale caressing your skin, your faces mere inches apart. "I want to stay by your side forever."

"Together" you whispered, closing your eyes and laying your forehead against his, your hands sliding up his chest to rest on his shoulders.

"Together" he repeated before moving your head with the hands he had on your cheek and tilting the just enough to connect his lips to yours. You felt him sigh into the kiss, and the corners of your lips curved, feeling the soft fabric of his jacket under your fingers as you let him devour you. Dinners like this were worth missing so many others.

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[babybearcubbs]

AHSJFNEISHSKDBSLDBLSOSL

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Is talking about ships okay? (Not anything nsfw since, yk, still a minor💔 I just really love that picture😍 100% won't send any like it again if that makes you uncomfy tho) I can ramble about Skz ships and dynamics right?

❪⠀🪐.⠀the beggining of it all⠀𓏔⠀minsung⠀❫

NOT UNCOMFORTABLE AT ALL!! in fact, one of my fav ships. very very complex, it's true, but amazing as well. THAT PIC THO (i add this gif to our delulu thoughts) but we got to keep this for minors. so just a little drabble oneshot (i got too carried away) under the cut hehe · no proof read, possible mistakes, described anxiety and make out sessions⠀★⠀2.1k words

minho and jisung met when they were very young. i like to think of jisung as the chaotic bisexual goofy guy he is, but i actually have the feeling that he genuinely thought he was straight until he met minho. and minho was a very introverted teen who knew he was gay (is not the first time he talks about having a crush on one of his male classmates) but he kept a low profile about it ーjust remember that south korea is kind of homophobic and he was about to debut with a bunch of guys.

but hey, jisung was totally convinced that what he felt for his new group mate was just a very deep friendship (... riight), even when they started talking and they started holding hands, and they started cuddling, and they… they started, mhm, to do things all friends do. the fact that minho had to hide the enormous fat crush he had on jisung was a big deal, specially because said boy reciprocated all the moves minho made. so it was quite confusing. but when they did debuted, and everyone grew accustomed to each other, it only became painfully obvious that they were not as straight as they thought. and not only them ーtry to live with a group of very very handsome man and not start to think about what you really are attracted to.

the thing is that even if minho was slowly falling in love with his platonic soulmate, jisung was convinced he only liked girls. to the point were our favourite cat-like dancer just surrendered and accepted that it was impossible for him to end up with jisung. he stopped fighting for him, although he couldn’t help the jealousy every time han flirted with his other members, or the sting of hurt he felt when he purposely watched those edits stay made and he knew, he just knew, that he could never be jisung’s boyfriend. he was unwilling to admit it, but it was killing him inside.

meanwhile, said rapper was just dense. of course. totally oblivious to his older group member suffering. he already had enough with all those recurrent thoughts that so often crossed his mind, making him frown in confusion at the new reality that would open up if he gave the question too much thought. it was making him go insane. because- those feelings… but why would he think that? was he… was he really hinting he could be…? nah. that was a rabbit hole. when he started going through that train of thought he just stopped and tried to distract himself.

yongbok was tired. and sad. he was nosy by nature, but also an overly sensitive angel, so seeing his friends struggle like that distressed him. the freckled boy was openly bisexual with them, and his group mates had never judged him, even if at first his insecurities had made him think that because of their culture they would treat him differently. but yongbok was a sunshine, and therefore in his train of thought the fact that jisung and minho ended up together was as obvious as the fact that you needed to breathe in order to live. the problem was that he knew that both of them would shut down at the mere mention of the subject.

he needed someone from outside their inner circle, but who could be trusted and discreet. and that was were you came in. the girl that knew hyunjin since childhood and just stucked around, the one that made them feel more at ease in stressful periods, who made sure to remind them to eat, drink and rest when they were too caught up in their jobs, you ーtheir confidant. they would listen to you. damn, with the power you had with your words, you would only have to talk to jisung and then everything would run smoothly. so he asked you the favour, and you couldn’t resist him, hence you complied.

you had a very deep conversation with your quokka-like friend about his feelings, the both of you alone in your apartment for his comfort, and he himself ended up understanding what everyone saw so evident, why it should not matter in the slightest which gender he's attracted to, and dismissing his oblivious behaviour with a soft laugh. he still waited for a few days ーuntil his weekly gathering with minhoー to speak his mind. and even when the moment came, he was nearly-a-panic-attack kind of nervous. the dancer was always patient with him, but when minho when he proposed breathing exercises to calm down a little, it was his own breath that caught in his throat as jisung, out of eagerness, closed the distance between their lips in a quick peak that turned into a gentle make out session when minho cupped his cheeks.

if you meant minsung thoughts as only the both of them, let’s say that after a very intense and sincere talk they went from a beautiful friendship to the cute couple known only by those to whom they show the privacy of their private life. now, if you want to add you and talk about minsung x reader thoughts, let me tell you that when felix asked you to talk to them, you were on the brink of refusal. how could you help him achieve this not so crazy plan when you had a crush on them? how could you have a crush on them? if you stopped to think about it, it made a lot more sense for them to be together. like, only minho and jisung. the two of them. in a relationship. it was breaking your heart, but you could only be happy for them. they deserved it, the delighted ending.

you spent some time away from the kpop group, trying to busy yourself with college, or your job. you even went on a trip (alone) so new experiences helped you dealing with your unrequited love, and although it did ease your mind for a while, as soon as you were back in seoul everything came back to you as a wave. a wave that lived in your nightmares, of course. hyunjin wanted to hang out with you, as well as felix, and ji asked why you were so distant. you felt you'd made things worse, and it made you feel awful. but you couldn't explain the real reasons behind your disappearance, right?

minho was pissed off. with you, with him, with how things went out. It was fucked up, because you lit helped him to get into a relationship with his crush. he was supposed to be happy, hell, he was jisung's boyfriend!! and he was exhilarated, don't get me wrong, but he had this little sting in the bottom of his heart that didn't let him enjoy all the happiness. and it hurted more when he thought of you. he loved you, you were one of his best friends, he supposed he could even see you as the type of girl he would date if he liked girls, because you were just amazing! but he only liked boys. right?

jisung was still confused. when he talked with you, he noticed how nervous you were and it put him on edge. but as you talked, a lot of things made sense in his head. it was like you just shared with him the secret to happiness! and he thought that it would be enough, when he ran to clear things with minho, and came out of the closet, he thought that it was it. but it sure wasn't cause even if he was lighter than before, he still carried some kind of burden that didn't let him sleep well. did being in a relationship with a boy made him gay? when he had been sure the person he had a crush on was you? he could be bisexual, yeah, or pansexual or whatever the name was at the time. but he craved to kiss you the same way he did with minho. did that made him a cheater? was he starting a relationship over lies? he was being a horrible boyfriend, right?

yongbok was getting restless over the weird tension in the dorm when you agreed to attend their classic movie night after almost months of absence. and he seemed to be the only one who was noticing how jisung fidgeted around you, or how tense minho would get when you were near him, or how you held your breath when either of them gave you a brief glance. only he wasn't the only one. the three of you were painfully aware of what was going on, too many unanswered questions on your minds, and too many answers you weren't ready to hear. at least until in the middle of a movie you couldn't care less about, minho stopped her gaze on her boyfriend, only to catch him watching you with craving eyes. and for once, he didn't feel the rage of jealousy running under his skin. for once, all he could think about was how good you two would look next to each other, cuddling, you cocooned in his chest, jisung stealing kisses here and there, the three of you nestled in his bed.

was it… was it weird? that longing? the suddenly urge to be near you, to have both jisung and you between his arms? at this point, he didn’t care anymore about what did that make him ーhe was not gay, if he felt this way about youー but how would you react. it was obvious that jisung had somewhat this same yearn, to get to figure out how did your kisses taste like, how was it to be able to hold you, to call you theirs… you were his main concern. would you think they were nuts? just by asking you if you felt the same, would you look at them as if they were crazy? had he lost his mind?

when the film ended, past midnight, minho didn’t know what to think anymore. he could hear his friends talk about how good the storyline had been, all the plot twists, even your excited squeaks when chan mentioned some specific detail you’d loved about the main character. he didn’t know a single word about the movie, he didn't even noticed you staying over on the couch, his footsteps leading him to jisung's room, his mind too busy with the dilemmas you had just created for him without realising it. until the door closed behind him, and he felt his boyfriend's strong arms pinning him against the wall, one hand gripping his shirt, the other resting on the surface next to his head and his lips crashing with need over minho's. his panting muffled against jisung's whimpering mouth, as if he had been holding back his desire for too long and now he couldn't breathe just feeling that he finally gotten what he had wanted so badly.

"you think about yn too, don't you, hyung?" he heard him whisper, his voice dripping with heat, minho's hand finding its place tangled in his boyfriend's hair.

he had been ready to answer, to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that yes, he could not get you out of his mind, that you had changed the way he thought of his sexuality, that he needed you in his life, and having you as a friend was no longer enough. but then he heard the noise, the soft thud against the floor, a hoodie and your phone at your feet and you at the door of the room, looking at them with wide eyes and your heart beating too quickly. you didn’t know what to think, and they didn’t know how to react. so during a few minutes the three of you stayed like that, deer paralyzed with fear in front of the bright lights of a car, until you took what you had dropped and ran away, your only aim to get out of the house as soon as possible.

your pulse was racing, your clouded mind preventing you from thinking clearly, as you packed the few things you had placed on the couch into your backpack, repeating a single phrase in your head, like a mantra, the only thing to keep in mind as everything you had assumed to be true collapsed, "this is a mistake, this is a mistake, this is a mistake”. yongbok had been wrong, it hadn't been a good idea to show up again after so long, you were confusing your friends, you were destroying a relationship, you should stay away, you, you, you... you were terrified. what were you so afraid of? you hurried down the hallway, hearing anxious whispers from jisung's room, and slammed the door shut, getting into the elevator in a blur. you looked at your reflection in the mirror after pressing the button for the ground floor, and you couldn't help but repeat, in a whisper, "what are you so afraid of?".

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