#⏰.goncharov

[voidofthearchive]

now this is good shit

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(This post will be kept pinned & periodically updated until 28 Nov)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like a year:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

-----

Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

[rai-knightshade]

I posted 19,561 times in 2022

10 posts created (0%)

19,551 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wanderingnightingale

@parttimetrickster

@nodesiretogrowup

@spacesapphist

@thepondstogether

I tagged 2,620 of my posts in 2022

#zelink - 375 posts

#shirbert - 317 posts

#self reblog - 61 posts

#malec - 42 posts

#usamamo - 39 posts

#goncharov - 30 posts

#🥺🥺🥺🥺 - 21 posts

#unreality - 18 posts

#yes - 17 posts

#skyward sword - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#(i know he apologized in his acceptance speech but iirc the broadcast specifically mentioned he didnt apologize to chris rock specifically)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I see you liking every single thing on my YJK blog and now I have to stan

Have a baby Jaina with her aunt Mara

THANK YOU 😂😂😂 i was reminded of my childhood love of the Young Jedi Knights via a crossover with a completely different fandom And i may have fell down the rabbit hole last night 😅 thank you for keeping this fandom alive i was almost certain i was the only person left who remembered/cared about the EU/Legends kids, especially the ones who weren't Solos and Skywalkers 😓 they are PRECIOUS and i LOVE THEM

1 note - Posted May 20, 2022

#4

crash

1 note - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

Hey! 👀+💕 for the asks!

Current ask game!

👀 Do you have any words/phrases you use habitually? 

I really like word "hence", I heard it once in like third grade and I basically made it a core part of my personality from then on. Not sure how often I use it in fic tho.... Other than that, I think I use a lot of -ly words as descriptors; wryly, ruefully, brightly, etc. A bit basic I'll admit but they get the point across and I don't have to dig out a thesaurus to understand what a character is expressing.

💕 What is the WIP that you are most excited about?

Well as mentioned in the tags of my og reblog, I've only got one WIP that I'm actually working on right now! The working title is "rest your head close to my heart, never to part (baby o'mine)", which will probably stay the title cause I always use song lyrics 😂 I'm usually inspired by music to write so it's only natural, I think. It's a fic for Anne of Green Gables, specifically the Sullivan tv movie continuity remixed into the original book continuity. Set 8 years after the third movie and with zero regard for any supposed "fourth" movies you may have heard of, it centers on the eldest Blythe child, Dominic, and how he comes to a sudden realization about himself in relation to the rest of his family, and how his question of "where did I come from?" Is answered.

Or, "so you forgot to mention to your firstborn that he's adopted and now he's asking Questions™ because he's realized he's the blonde sheep of your black-, brown- and red-haired family, what do you do?" But in fic form 😂😂😂.

I'm excited to see it finished cause I've been working on it for weeks, and because it's the first fic I've written in... A year, I think? So to get it written out will be an amazing achievement for me! I'm not sure how it'll be received cause it's a) the most self-indulgent fluffy-ass piece I've ever written--even more so than my Bradyverse, which I didn't think was possible--and is explicitly canon to the Anne movie that literally only me and like 5 other people like 😅😅 but who cares it's family fluff time!

Thank you for the ask Zelmo!!

1 note - Posted February 16, 2022

#2

⏰ What time of day do you prefer to write? 📌 If all your fics/WIPs fell off a ship and were drowning (go with it), and you could only save one, which would it be?

Time of day: whenever I've got a free moment tbh 😂😂 which currently tends to be the evenings as I work the morning shift 5 days a week. I've written or edited during my lunch times before tho so it's far from a hard and fast rule. When the inspiration strikes, it strikes!

Pick one WIP to save: well considering I only have one WIP that I'm currently working on (sorry professors!macdalton au, hopefully I'll get back to you one day), I'd say it's gonna have to be that one, titled "rest your head close to my heart, never to part (baby o'mine)". Even if it wasn't my only wip tho it'd probly be the one I save cause it's also one of the longest-taking wip I've ever had (the Brady verse doesn't count that was less one full wip and more a bunch of little snippets) and the fact that I'm still not done even tho it's been weeks is like. Torture. So I *will* finish this goddamn fic if it kills me. Wouldn't be the first death in the series at least (tho to be clear, nobody dies in this fic. It... Just happens to be about the mc finding out he's an adopted orphan, so. Clearly somebody had to die along the way. Multiple somebodies, even.)

Thanks for the ask!

1 note - Posted February 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

He didn't even punch him, he slapped him.

So I've seen now! (I didn't watch the Oscars this was entirely secondhand.) Honestly like. It smells like bullshit to me man idk talk to me when somebody like, fully assaults someone on stage in a full on brawl or some shit THEN maybe we can talk about losing Oscars. Not a (honestly very easily justified) slap.

3 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

cym as goncharov characters ⏰ 🛶 ❄️ 🍎

yesss I love this movie 🍿

you as Katya (because bi badass)

@one-happy-silent-geek-girl as Sofia

@confused-as-all-hell as Andrey

@investmentofmyheart as Goncharov

@twelve-kinds-of-trouble as That waiter

@iambecomeyourvillain as Ice Pick Joe

[voidofthearchive]

this is the best timeline. does katy’s die? does she fake it? what exactly is the bridge scene like? because that’s what goncharov is a movie; not a single coherent thing. it is defined by not having a definition.

i see your “goncharov can’t be made into a real movie cause that would ruin it” and raise you; someone does make a real version of goncharov but films 3 or 4 different versions of each scene/plot point, and than mashes them up to create like 30 different versions of the same movie. it’s released in theaters under the guise of being a perfectly normal film, but every person who goes to see it sees a slightly different version, which will just increase the confusion and amount of unconnected lore. is that possible? probably not. but it would be hilarious.

[softnoirr]

waiting for your goncharov xmas fic like ⏰

I would like to be excluded from this narrative

[voidofthearchive]

goncharov

Goncharov score masterpost

I want to make a post to keep track of all the Goncharov score that’s been uploaded to tumblr, so I will link to all the one’s I’ve found so far and update with any new ones that come up (if you know any I’m missing please share the link!)

Main Theme uploaded by @caramiaaddio

Main Theme (End Titles) uploaded by @if-only-angels-could-prevail

Main Theme (Reprise) uploaded by @raccoonfink

General Soundtrack uploaded by @mortal-ghost

The Bridge Breaks uploaded by @nicewizard

The Clocktower uploaded by @dungeonmastersconsortium

Farewell Scene uploaded by @levuna (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Tempus Fugit - “Clock Theme” uploaded by @trupowieszcz  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Goncharov Theme in Minor uploaded by @mapplejuice  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Katya’s Leitmotif (Vinyl Rip) uploaded by @unscharf-an-den-raendern  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Andrey’s Theme uploaded by @the-frosty-mac (pointed out to me by @muzic4sewerratz , thank you!)

It Is True (Extract) uploaded by @hex-of-els (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

Memories Of Water - Goncharov Soundtrack uploaded by @rismrus (pointed out to me by themself– please do feel free to toot your own horn!)

Katya’s Sonata uploaded by @arcanistvysoren

“For My Love” Andrey’s Serenade uploaded by @shits-getting-weird (pointed out to me by themself)

Stolen Time uploaded by @avatar-of-the-vast (I lost track of who pointed this one out to me I’m sorry but my notifications at the moment are A Lot, so thank you to whoever it was and I’m sorry I don’t know who you were)

Sharing A Dance uploaded by @the-frosty-mac (pointed out to me by themself)

In The Boathouse uploaded by @madame-karenina

What Was And Will Be uploaded by @piano-flute​

Overture on the Clocktower uploaded by @dead-minecraft-fandoms​ (pointed out to me by @mccoppinscrapyard, thank you!)

Privyet Goncharov uploaded by @rismrus (pointed out to me by themself)

Goncharov’s Gun uploaded by @netcup

Sofia’s Serenade to Katya, from the deleted scene in the boat where she sings “Come Raggio di Sol,” uploaded by @melongumi

Sofia’s Theme uploaded by @andrey-transgenderism​

Icepick Joe’s Leitmotif uploaded by @whimperandabang​

Waltz of the Pearls uploaded by @raynaonyourparade

Katya’s Theme uploaded by @fancydunamancy

Katya’s Theme (a different version) uploaded by @katyathemegoncharov

Katya’s Death Song (ночь, улица, фонарь) uploaded by @traumagician

Lovers Forlon - “Katya and Sofia Final Goodbye” from the deleted scene, uploaded by @colours-of-the-galaxies

Palace Dance Scene uploaded by @lostlovepunk

Dockside #2, one of the unreleased tracks, uploaded by @reptilemodernism

Unnamed Fragment from Goncharov’s death scene, uploaded by @quizshow1994​

Bonus:

Cover of the song Goncharov (2010) by @idiopathicsmile  (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

At Goncharov’s Gate (PC Version), song written for the PC game with a Super NES port released in 1994 for PC-DOS, uploaded by @badgraph1csghost (pointed out to me by @graduatedpillowmonster, thank you!)

You Think You Have Time, a remix of the original theme that wound up in Hotline Miami DLC, uploaded by @coolwitchaunt

One of the official trailers was recently recovered by @talkshowhost1996

[gr8a]

No, no, no! It may never have become a worldwide sensation, but it did exist! and it's actually good! Just underrated/not well-known (like Goncharov itself). So many people think it never got made/never debuted but actually IT DID but they just majorly retooled it. And they had to: mafia stuff was really big in the 70's, but by the 80's when ABBA* wrote the show, mafia stories weren't cool anymore: everyone was all obsessed with the Cold War. So they used that more contemporary political framework, more relevant to the time, as the backdrop. They also toned down the violence because that was never really ABBA's style, so they converted the gunfights to more intellectual "fights": matches of the game of chess. In fact the musical is called Chess (1984 concept album, 1986 West End opening, 1988 on Broadway). After the criticism of Goncharov's weird title, they decided to keep it simple. So the extremely basic plot summary is approximately this: the grand champions of America and the Soviet Union play out their respective nation's conflict at the World Chess Championship in Italy, and all the chaos and romance and drama that follow.

*(technically only the two B's, Benny and Bjorn (and Tim Rice, of Evita, The Lion King, Road to El Dorado, Aladdin, etc! So much talent in this underappreciated musical))

Don't worry, despite the surface level changes, we still get so much of the important stuff (including the love triangle(s)/quadrangle!). And even though it's "about" a board game, it's surprisingly deep and complex - also maybe surprising if you were expecting it to be bright and poppy like much of ABBA and Mamma Mia. They also combined some characters here and split up others there, changed their names (mostly so you wouldn't expect them to be identical to the Goncharov movie characters) until we are left with: the happily married (at the beginning...) Anatoly, the Soviet Chess Champ, and his wife Svetlana (also Russian), and Freddy, the American Champ and his lover, Florence (Bulgarian). Okay bear with me, I know it sounds really different, but you can really see so many of the character traits and plot points still remain:

complicated national identity feelings (can you ever really leave your home country? Can you be proud of being from somewhere like the Soviet Union, even if while knowing you have to get out?), violent nationalists that fail to see how similarly their behavior is to their "enemy" (or don't care as long as they win),

big reveal of the truth about someone's father (leaving it vague so I don't spoil it! 🤐),

clock/time motifs (the game of chess uses clocks to keep track of the players' time: they each have a total amount they can use on all of their turns put together, which means that they can lose the game by running out of time even if they were winning! I mean, come on? 🕰️ The symbolism!! ⏰ The drama!!!),

manipulation, betrayal, scheming, exploiting weaknesses, but also questioning whether it's worth hurting and using others to come out on top, honor among bastards,

rivals to nemeses to begrudging respect to frenemies to ??

realization of mutual attraction in a beautiful snowy place

complex haracters who we can't decide if we love or hate or sympathize with

I could go on

Not to mention, so many of the songs are major bangers, once you get over the weird subject matter; I mean, how could they not be with ABBA and Tim Rice involved? Many of the songs actually slapped: enough to break out as hit singles, topping legit pop charts, like One Night in Bangkok and I Know Him So Well (hit #1 in the UK, for 4 weeks! beautiful duet between the two female leads! Sure they're singing about one of the male leads but tell me how often we get F/F duets, beautiful and emotional harmonies? All I can think of is Wicked and clearly Elphaba and Glinda are a rock solid, basically canon ship, so....👀 Anyway it's about how both women think they know the male character and that each of them believes they won't end up with him, for entirely opposite reasons, and that these two women actually may not understand the man that well, and the two of them have a lot in common despite these seeming contractions), but so many people don't know the songs were originally from a musical and haven't even heard of Chess the Musical at all, they just think they were regular pop songs 😭

Anyway, the show didn't run very long and never really made it big, tragically, but it does exist! We don't have to just imagine that world (though of course it was never a worldwide sensation) and you can listen to it, and it's worth it! The music, the story, all deserve to be heard if you liked Goncharov. No, the climax isn't a bloody shootout, but they manage to rival Scorsese and craft an incredible, tense moment of emotional depth and drama in the climactic song, with swelling, nearly frighteningly powerful music, for a moment that I can honestly call... epic. Which sounds like a total joke when I say that the song is about the last few moves in a game of chess. But I'm 100% serious. My favorite version to listen to is Chess In Concert, starring Josh Groban (!) as Anatoly, Adam Pascal (of RENT fame) as Freddie, Idina Menzel (also RENT, and of course Wicked and Frozen) as Florence, and Kerry Ellis (also Wicked and so much else!) as Svetlana. It's still a weird show that dances between different tones, but it's a treat If you can get past the choral songs about the history of chess and cute Italian cities (which are the first two songs of course), a rock-badass-hype song about the Arbiter (like a referee for chess), a track in which a hymn to the spirit of chess transitions into a song in which literal cheerleaders dance and cheer for the merchandizing potential of the game. Anyway, there are some really incredible performances, I promise. You can find it on youtube (owo what's this) er I mean there's a DVD you can buy.

i just don’t know why we aren’t all talking about the fact that there was a goncharov musical WRITTEN BY ABBA(!!!) planned that never made it past previews. imagine the world in which mamma mia had flopped and goncharov had been a worldwide sensation with a remake starring amanda seyfried as katya