#“blossoming of unknown selves”

[headlesssamurai]

[magistralucis]

Hello magistralucis! Hope you are doing well! If its okay could you tell me about 'opium' and 'vermillion'?

Hello there! I certainly can. @north-wyrm also asked about Vermillion, so I hope this will come in doubly useful. This may be a lengthy explanation 🥴

You know the Lantern Fair sequence in Gheden from we live on archipelagos? I think about that specific part quite a lot, because a festival is a really useful setting to make characters interact in. There's the fun and grandeur, luxurious decadence (as befitting of the Nihilakh), and also a sense of enforced formality between the people who meet there. Sometimes one's true self is best shown by being made to behave. Over time I developed an entire series of WIPs that take place in that setting, not the exact Lantern Fair from WLOA but similar. Our usual pairs meet there, and a couple of unknown ones.

Opium and Vermillion deal with the former.

High up on a ziggurat they glimpse their host, the lead archivist of the Nihilakh, playing senet with the famed diviner of the Sautekh. [...] Trazyn's robes are plain, but Orikan is starclad in gold and midnight-blue. A fine Nihilakh gift. The young could stand to learn from them.

The above quote from WLOA inspired Opium. It's about what Trazyn and Orikan get up to during their Lantern Fair, and how Orikan got those starclad robes. It explores the fair from a host's perspective, since Trazyn is active in his role as a lord of Gheden, less of Solemnace. Orikan comes to him as a guest and remains by his side throughout.

It seemed every year they were roomed closer and closer together. When Orikan was shown to his room, he noticed a door leading from it which felt familiar, and was not disappointed to see that it led right into the lord archivist's bedchamber. Which was fine, that was where he wound up most of the time anyway. He'd always assumed the door from Trazyn's side led to a family shrine (most palaces in Gheden had one), perhaps a storeroom or a prime view from above, but it seemed the overlord's household had decided the double suite had gone unused for too long. He left the door ajar and took the time to examine his own room, thinking about all that'd happened so far. The room was furnished like Trazyn's, just emptier. The overlord kept little company outside of Solemnace unless he was a guest himself elsewhere. Everything was clean, everything seemed normal, and Orikan could almost believe nothing was wrong around here. There was a little twig of his favourite fruit-blossoms upon the windowsill, held in a bud vase inlaid with faience. Orikan picked it up and turned it this way and that, noting that the water in the vase was fresh, and that the petals still had the hint of morning dew upon them. Winter blossoms, much too early for fruit, a fleeting memory of what could still be. That was what his relationship to Trazyn felt like sometimes. No longer animosity, but not quite friendship nor courtship, marked with reminders of the little things they liked. Golden drops of memories, as faint as dust motes under sunlight, but dotting their selves like little wounds once the two were gone from one another. No one would ever understand them truly. Sometimes Orikan wasn't sure they understood themselves.

It is also a very melancholy story. It's like if Viridian was sad. Trazyn and Orikan aren't a couple here, more like a slow burn FWB, and they're about to find out exactly how this arrangement will disadvantage them in a society that insists on legally defined ties. 😞

Vermillion is the Lantern Fair, Take Two, from the Djoseras/Zultanekh perspective. In WLOA they only talked and shared one kiss; in Vermillion they go all the way. Unrestricted by the prying eyes of their own dynasties, they meet up for a tryst by night - though they were not planning to have this tryst when they first met in Gheden, and are thus awkward about it at the beginning. I put this under a cut because the snippet is NSFW:

Djoseras moaned beside him, almost a sob, the one hand stretched behind him tightening into Zultanekh's hair. He'd been brought to the edge several times already: Zultanekh would circle his fingertip over the other's arousal, coating it with the silky fluid that ran from it, or stop while he was halfway through a thrust. He would then linger there, playfully refusing to move, until the tension in the kynazh's body broke in the form of a hard writhe or a hoarse moan bitten into the sheets. It excited Zultanekh tremendously to see the latter. Perhaps it was the only thing about their position he regretted, in that the kynazh was facing away, when he'd have liked Djoseras to set his teeth against his flesh instead. "Be good for me, Djoseras... be good, and I'll let you come…" Better the kynazh do it than anyone else. Like any warrior worth his salt Zultanekh valued a good battle-scar, and the idea of Djoseras marking him was intoxicating. Perhaps on the Crown Prince's wrist, so that the kynazh could finish what he started and truly claim his hand. Perhaps on the shoulder, so that Zultanekh would feel it whenever he lifted his warhammer, or with every powerful thrust he made unto the kynazh's body. He rolled them over fully so that Djoseras was under him, his face buried into the silken pillows. He made sure to pause for a moment, in case Djoseras found this position too demeaning to continue. When he saw this was not the case he grasped the kynazh's hips, and he pressed in again, sinking into him and kissing everywhere he could reach. Zultanekh stifled his moans against the kynazh's shoulder, tasting the faintest traces of sweat and perfumed oils beneath his tongue; Djoseras let out a choked sound and grasped the sheets, steeled himself for the thrusts to come.

Yeah. 😳💖 Vermillion is not as melancholy as Opium, but the princes are still engaged in a forbidden love, and they know they must part when the night comes to an end. Really, all of the Lantern Fair AU pieces have this air of a dream to them, and the underlying sadness. But all that's for later. I hope this was a pleasant read for now.

[zololacan]

Theory: About Columbina, Goddess of flowers and Seelies.

Now people theorize that the Goddess of Flowers maybe is a seelie due to Arana line in the aranara world quest..

He mention that the GOF is from a race which was cursed when they fell inlove with humans.. and seelies by nature loves to guide and aid humanity.. like in game they lead us to treasure chests.

But what if they dont follow this usual nature? Its possible.. this curse does not affect rare unusual seelies that DOES NOT fall in love or are indifferent with humans.

Hence we have the Goddess of flowers.

"The Goddess of Flowers lived during the time when the Second Who Came arrived from beyond the firmament and brought war to her kin, though she acknowledges that they "brought about illusions that could break through shackles to the land." She was later "cast aside by the heavens" along with the rest of her kin, who were punished for an unknown sin by becoming stripped of their minds and becoming husks of their former selves. Somehow, the Goddess of Flowers was able to maintain her original form. " - flower of Paradise lost

"maintain her original form" could be in my theory not being affected by the curse of the seelies.

It is said that flowers blossom so that they may enjoy a spectacular death, and that death was precisely the wholehearted pursuit of the Lord of Flowers — for death adds bitterness to lost joy, and intensifies with time across endless memories. - Oasis garden of truth

And this might be proof that the GOF never loved Deshret at all and was just using him.. the fact that she can maintain her alliance with him and built ay khanoum with him despite knowing full well Deshret madly adores her is sus... Unless theres proof GOF reciprocated deshrets affection im inclined to think she was just using him..

Now with all that said.. If Columbina is indeed a seelie just like what others have theorized here before then its possible she escaped the "seelie curse" the same way GOF did.. and its clear as being part of the Atrocius Fatui organization as one of its harbingers we can tell that she prolly has no affection or is indifferent with human suffering as well..

Seelies was known to have immense wisdom in their prime.. just like GOF.. this might be the reason they have powers that rivals that of the current Archons. If so the way that traveller will defeat Columbina is to make her "love humans".. and probably.. be a part of his/her harem.

[mixedfeelings717]

Mixed. Not stirred.

In between here & now.

Two rejections out of 5. I turned off my laptop. Academic validation was always something I relied on and now I had to face the possibility that I might not be going to grad school this year. It is my dream to be a practicing counsellor. My ego is what wants the best schools. The thought of applying to a plan B school never even crossed my mind. On one hand, I hoped the other three schools would keep me in the dark for as long as possible. On the other, I couldn’t handle the frustration of not knowing. That’s what makes us human. We despise the unknown. We crave the predictability of the future. But why is it so strangely enjoyable to stay in the blissful spot of not knowing? I don’t know where I’ll live this time next year. I’ve yet to meet so many people I’ll once love. Some of the most joyful memories are still waiting for me to live them. A dream doesn’t cease to be a dream because of a detour. It waits for the right time to blossom. It needs water, sunlight, and care. I will still be a counsellor, even if I don’t get into any of the schools. Maybe we crave the contrast of life. The light and the dark. The known and the hidden. The past and the future. The problem is, that we miss the moment we’re currently living. A moment that will never repeat itself. We shed layers of selves and coats of past identities. No longer who we once were. Not yet who we are meant to be. Just here. Just now. Just us. It’s wild to think that we are the only creatures on earth who have the privilege of feeling so deeply. We have the privilege of not knowing. The privilege of change, growth and transformation. What’s a few more weeks of waiting? I decided to wallow in the unknown, embracing the anxiety; honouring it even. A year from now, wherever I am, I’ll think back and smile. Life is a soulful tango of time, emotion, memory and ultimately, the unknown. What fun would it be if we knew everything ahead of time? The only thing I truly know is that everything will work itself out. That I know. Life is about feelings. Mixed. Not stirred.

Edit: I got accepted into the three remaining schools the next week.

Credit: https://www.tumblr.com/aaaangel444/744950975984435200

[the-hem]

"Moving over the Surface." Time in the Torah.

We now know Numbers within the Hebrew language harbor secrets. Let's look at the proper decryption of time and notice the pattern of evolution that takes place as numbers rise. Embedded deep underneath the letters and their numeric coefficients are the root drivers behind all Judaic thought and process- the urgency to climb as rapidly as possible into a state of full sentience and thus add to the intelligent capable mass of human civilization.

This recipe for mankind starts at zero, which really means we begin where our most devolved habit left us. We are as good as how bad we are. About this history explains itself vociferously.

If were to plan our history in order to be as excellent as we can be, following are how God says we should do it:

The first Number is zero. Zero, elef, is infinity. It is also means "back and forth". The car behind you in traffic for example represents the future, not the past.

In Torah terminology then, tomorrow and yesterday are in opposite places. Yesterday can be contemplated right in front of the eyes as it has already happened. Tomorrow, the unknown, lurks behind us.

On the clock:

1 second= 480, דחאֶפֶס, "In a hurry". ex. "At God's commandment, the Israelites left Egypt in one second."

2 seconds, however are 1525, אהבב‎ ‎, "loved" which is ahav in Hebrew:

The Hebrew verb אהב (ahav, pronounced ah-HAV, with the final bet pronounced as a "v") is a Biblical Hebrew word meaning "to love." The noun form of this word is אהבה (ahavah, pronounced ah-ha-VAH) meaning "love." Ahav and ahavah cover a broad spectrum of concepts of love.

Redo the above phrase "At God's commandment, the Israelites left Egypt in two seconds." "They went forth in love."

3 seconds are 673, וזג‎ ‎, and zag, "in memory". "At God's commandment, the Israelites left Egypt in three seconds." = "God commanded the Israelites to remember to leave Egypt."

5 seconds are 1195, יאטה‎ , yata, "in friendship with God."

6 seconds are 874, hazed, "to watch a village form." "God commanded the Israelites to leave Egypt and from a village."

7 seconds are 1315, אגאה‎, agaa, "to gather and go out like the tide" ie, to break the yoke of knowledge and reach a higher elevation.

8 seconds are 604, ואֶפֶסד‎ "and lost" "God told the Israelites to leave Egypt and go get lost in the desert."

9 seconds are 569, ה‎וט‎, "hot", khor to "get hot, evaporate and condense back down", "to compact like bricks in a wall and become a nation."

and at 10 seconds we go back to zero= 620, ובאֶפֶס‎ ‎"and at Zero." If you read the Gematria left to right, you get 6*1*10= 120, א‎באֶפֶס‎, "a zero" a very important number as far as age goes in the Torah, also if you add, 6+2+0= 8, the infinity loop.

"At God's commandment, the Israelites left Egypt in ten seconds."= "God commanded the Israelites to leave Egypt and never return."

1 minute=578, zah= "behold."

The verb חזה (haza I) is a poetic verb meaning to look, see or behold (Song of Solomon 7:1, Isaiah 33:20), to experience a prophetic vision (Numbers 24:4, Ezekiel 12:27), or to understand/perceive (Job 34:32, Psalm 63:2). The more regular verb meaning to see is ראה (ra'a), but its usages seem parallel. Perhaps the verb חזה (haza I) is slightly loftier than ראה (ra'a).

"God told the Israelites to leave Egypt in one minute." = He told them to leave Egypt and experience the real world.

2 minutes= 1717 יז‎יז, yaziz, ‎"God's flower blossom."

"Leave Egypt and become prosperous."

The verb צוץ (sus) or ציץ (sys) means to bloom or blossom and the noun ציץ (sis) means flower or blossom. But instead of a "flowering" or emerging of petals, these words for flower appear to mostly commemorate the dropping of petals, which is what happens when a pretty blossom collapses and turns into a juicy, seed-bearing fruit. The noun ציצת (sisit) describes a bundle of hair or a tassel on a garment.

3 minutes= 865, חוה‎ "the farm" = cultivate one's animal selves and make them into men.

5 minutes= 1387, אג‎‎חז‎, aghaz, "gather and regrow like the grass after it has been burnt."

10 minutes= 812, חאב, hab, "to embrace emptiness."

The verb חבב (habab) means to love, to warmly embrace or to passionately hold close. It occurs only once in the Bible, as does the derived noun חב (hob). This noun is commonly translated as "bosom" but the much more common word for bosom is חיק (heq), and the noun חב (hob) is probably more accurately rendered with "embrace".

The accidentally similar verb חבק (habaq) means to embrace in the sense of to huddle together. This verb is much less dynamic and emotional than the previous and emphasizes the search for prolonged collective strength or shelter. The noun חבק (hibbuq) describes a huddling together.

60 minutes= 1566, ‎אהו‎ו‎, "oh and" = zion.

1 hour=626, ו‎בו, "and in the House of Israel."

2 hours= א‎אוז‎ , "oz" "in great strength."

8 hours= 750, ז‎האֶפֶס "this is zero."

10 hours= 766, זו‎ו "this it" "This is our great nation."

"God told the Israelites to leave Egypt in ten hours." ="Leave Egypt and become a great nation."

12 hours=2351, בגהא‎ , bagha, "The Lord of all that lives in the body."

24 hours= 621, ו‎בא, "and came" = gamar, completed the journey.

The verb גמר (gamar) means to complete, end or come to an end.

On the Calendar:

One Day= 693. וטג, and a tag, "and a crown." ‎

The Seven Days are found in the Book of Genesis.

One Week = 1208, יבאֶפֶס‎ח‎, "yes, Passover."

One Month=516, האו‎, oh, "to mark" like Cain on the way to Enosh.

One Year=774, זזד‎‎, "moved" rachaph, "To move, to hover" as in the Spirit of God over the surface of the deep.

"Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light."

Two Years= 769, ז‎וט‎, "a trifle", from mizar, a noun מצער (mis'ar) which refers to any place or agent of smallness; a small town, one's humble beginnings, a few men, a little while.

Three Years= 967, טוז‎ , ace, halak, "a tract of land." Verb חלק (halaq I) means to divide and apportion. Noun חלק (heleq I) and חלקה (haluqqa) mean portion, tract of land, even one's mode of life. Noun חלקה (helqa I) means field. Noun מחלקת (mahaloqet) describes a division of some organization.

Five Years=1489, אד‎חט‎, "I will press"= the Winepress= prosperity

Ten Years= 914, טאד, tad, "a love town"

Twenty Five Years=3034, לגד‎‎, lagada, "the end of cutting."

The verb גדד (gadad) describes making an invasive cut, mostly in order to expose something valuable. Noun גדוד (gedud) may describe an invasive band of raiders, or more general: a cutting, a furrow. 

Fifty Years=1290, יבץ, egg, "the unhatched way of life."

"One of the reasons we have the egg at the Seder is because it symbolizes the beginning of life, and Passover marks the very beginning of our national existence. But it’s more exact than that. The egg reflects the precise position of the Jewish people at the time of the Exodus from Egypt.

Let’s look at the journey of our egg. The egg is first inside the hen. It is then laid and thereby freed from the constraints previously imposed upon it. But has the egg been hatched? Has a little chick emerged from the shell yet? The answer is no. The egg, you see, is only potential life. It is not yet a living being. One day, please G‑d, a chick will emerge and the cycle of life will continue.

When the Jewish People left Egypt they were just like that—an unhatched egg. Free from the prison of Egypt and the constraints of slavery—but they weren’t quite fully born. It would take seven weeks for them to stand at the foot of Mount Sinai and experience the great revelation of G‑d and receive the Torah.

Only when they were given a way of life did the Jewish people receive purpose. Until Sinai, we were all dressed up with nowhere to go. On Passover we emerged from the confines of Egypt like the egg that drops out of the hen. But only at Sinai were we hatched and born properly."

One Hundred Years: 1205, אב‎‎אֶפֶסה‎, abesfesa "the beginning of the Festivals." ‎

One Hundred Twenty Years: 2750, ב‎ז‎האֶפֶס‎, back at zero.

Every so often, one generation will end and another begin, but the process of evolution of mankind cannot fall between the cracks. Each increment humanity retains the history of the former and must exceed the circumstances that pervaded those of the former.

When history finally changes its tint, we arrive at the end of the millenium, One Thousand Years: 1357, אגה‎ז‎, aghaz, "A gathering of wise men in a cluster", AKA a Fortified City = Mashiach, "the one who rejoices in the lending of a hand."

We must be living in year 999.99. Which has a Number of 1892, אחטב‎, "I will cut", which means just before Mashiach at the change of the Epoch, we have to ensure some us do not make it across the finish line:

"And the soul that does [this] with an uplifted hand…blasphemes G‑d, and that soul will be cut off from the midst of its people. For it has disgraced the word of G‑d and abrogated His commandment; that soul will be cut off, yes, cut off, [as long as] its transgression is within it [i.e. if he does not repent]. (Num. 15:30-31)

This means that if the soul in question had remained holy and not sinned, it would have joined together with its mate in Paradise and thereby produced the soul of converts, as is mentioned in the Zohar. (III:167b, 168a).

Repentance, therefore, is the highest order of the day...we can sense it, the seasons are about to change, and there is no time to waste.

[grapesodadarkchocolate]

Little Sprout

“Our purpose is that which we most passionately are when we pay attention to our deepest selves.” — Carol Hegedus

Once upon a time in mid-spring many years ago there were three sprouting plants living in a quiet garden south of the city’s downtown. Their plot of land was nestled between the lake to the north and creek to the south. Birds swept by their stance and perched amongst the leaf budding trees above them, serenading the little plants that were stalwart at attempting to grow. Contentment is what they felt— at least the majority of the time. 

As in most stories, something began to change. Something began to pull itself apart. Contentment was loosening and causing the roots of one of the little sprouters to become less attached. This little plant sought out more sunshine with her shade. Then there was a desire for more rain than simply water offered by the weekly garden hose sprinkler. Dark rich loamy soil was preferred over sand and rocks. She was discovering the world was larger than she thought and the growing options were ever more expansive. She was less content with the basics that were initially provided. The other two plants began blocking out her sun and seeping out more of her nutrients, though blossoming just the same. Their exterior structure wasn’t altering but something else was happening. Something underneath. Something harder to detect. 

In an unexpected moment, after some concentrated thinking and extensive journal writing, the lone plant realized she had a choice. She could stay amongst what was or she could transplant herself to another part of the garden. The risk seemed enormous. So much unknown was looming in her imagination. But the last straw arrived when she discovered there was no room for her roots to grow. The others were crowding her in. She was dying on the vine. Dying while standing in place. 

So she elicited the assistance of the resident robin that was nesting under the backyard deck to help with the move and found herself amongst other sprouting plants that shared the sunshine, the dark rich soil, and the ever thirst quenching rain, without hesitation. Not crowding her space, but allowing room for her as well. Her new home now felt just right and she could grow. So she did —exponentially. 

THE END (Or, was it really a new beginning?) +++

What’s on YOUR list? 

Remembering: Hymn to the Fallen by John Williams 🎶🇺🇸 

[queerbaobab]

STRANGER THAN LOVE(R)

What you share of your mind

What I share of mine

Our ease

Our intimacy

Our threads of connection

They blossom and bloom

In the fertile grounds

Of our bridged inner selves

Perhaps our vessels

Will bond in some ways

They are yet stranger

One to the other

Mine a newly met acquaintance

To my own self

May the parts of our selves

Yet unknown

To you

To me

To us

Find the time and space

To reveal and unveil

To joyfully witness

Gentle

Kind

Curious

Love

#DeNiM #QueerBaobabPoetry #TurquoiseAndMalachite

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Alphys Being Transgender Needs To Be Canon

(Spoilers For Chapter 2 in this, so don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game in the Pacifist Route)  

if you look up the development of Alphys,

you will find out that she wasn’t originally a female character

and she was originally suppose to be male, but was changed into female.

I think that Undyne would still love Alphys and know she was just following her heart and soul and being true to herself. 

so yeah I believe that both versions of Alphys in Undertale and Deltarune,

are technically Transgender and it should be made canon and be revealed in a future chapter of Deltarune.

also I want to mention I had a weird dream where I saw a lot of changelings from MLPFIM, but I think I said I wouldn’t be able to feed them.

guess it’s like me knowing I wouldn’t have enough love and I think I might of had thoughts before....

well if you think about it, the Changelings from MLPFIM might be technically   

Fairy-Ponies, well maybe....we know there are other types of equine besides the earth-pony, unicorn and pegasi.

like the “Sirens” that Stygian met, could of been Kelpie who took the forms of Siren-Ponies corrupted forms.

and those Kelpie had corrupted the Sirens they had copied the forms of,

and they end up as their scapegoats and banished to the human world.

the negative magic energy is what transforms the Siren-Ponies into their corrupted forms. 

so yeah I believe as soon as Stygian got back with help,

the Sirens were made the scapegoats for the Kelpies.

but anyway back to Alphys, I think it be a good idea that Alphys being a Transwoman is made canon.

and by the looks of Chapter 2, the canon of the ship between Undyne and Alphys is strong.

if it turns out that Susie doesn’t have parents, and it is just her and her unknown sister....and maybe other siblings.

then Undyne and Alphys can become Susie and her siblings new Moms.

well if Susie only has one sibling, then those two would just end up being the adoptive mothers of just Susie and her younger sister or older sister.

it be cute if Susie accidentally calls Alphys Mom in class.

Noelle might find it really sweet, Kris might well....

I think they might give a thumbs up.

and Berdly might go call “My Teacher Is Going To Be My Mother-In-Law” Panic.             

I hope just like the whole Pie turning out to be canon, it turns out Susie will do that in the future.......I can only hope.

Susie finding a family in Undyne and Alphys is my O.T.F.F.

which stands for One True Family Found.

it be nice if Susie becoming Alphys’s  adoptive daughter becomes canon in a future chapter, that would be awesome.

or if she already is, then maybe it will be revealed in the future.

 oh and yes, Berdly having a crush on Susie is the spoiler....

of course he didn’t get the crush until he found out a bit about Susie being a Gamer, that being in Dark World.

and it is pretty obvious he still has a crush on her when they got back to the Light World....

I wouldn’t be surprise if Snowy and Berdly get into a fight in the future

because Snowy is bad mouthing Susie.

wouldn’t be surprised if that happen, I mean Berdly has fallen for Susie  and even has made Yandere Noelle mad....

who would of thought that Yandere Noelle would be canon....O_O

well at least in the pacifist route she only choked him.

 Susie is now in a Love Triangle....

and well it is possible Berdly wont get into a fight with Snowy, and will try to play off his feelings for Susie as just a crazy dream.

that is until he finds out in the real world she really does play video games.

Susie is still in a Love Triangle though....

I wouldn’t be surprised if she is going to have a Omni-Harem.

Omni-Harem is what I started to call those who have both males, female and even nonbinary who are in love with the main protagonist.

I have the DVD of the first season of my life as a villainess,

and well I can’t help but think of it as a Omni-Harem type.

it isn’t really a Reverse Harem, plus it just seems more of a Omni-Harem.

if there was a Anime I would love to get Alphys hooked on, it would be that one.

     it is really good, well I think it is....

I also think I will need to clean my glasses, I will clean them after this post.

I hope that some of you can agree that Alphys being Transgender needs to be canon, cause she was originally going to be male but was changed to female.

and if it turns out it can’t be canon, I guess it can just be Fanon instead.

but here’s hoping just like the Pie and Yandere-Noelle, it turns out to be canon.

Noelle: Stop Calling Me Yandere!

Kris: Berdly is kissing a picture of Susie behind a dumpster.

Noelle: *turns around slowly to Kris with a very creepy smile*.....which dumpster....?

even if Noelle is sweet and can scare easy, it is best not to make her mad when it involves Susie.

but now that I think about it, I think the Love Triangle might be a Love Diamond.

because I think Catti (which I pronounce as Katie, so not to confuse with her older sister Catty’s name.)

might have a crush on Noelle, but it is just a theory.

but if it turns out that Catti does have a crush on Noelle,

and with Noelle having a crush on Susie, and Berdly having a crush on Susie.

the Love Triangle might really be a Love Diamond.

the way Catti talks about Noelle makes me think she might have secret feelings for her, and that is one of the reasons why she doesn’t like Susie.

I don’t think Alphys has feelings for King Fluffybuns in Deltarune.

I think their relationship might be 100% platonic and friend zoned.

it be funny if King Dice called Devil “Fluffybuns”

Best Day Ever If that happen. 

and even if the rumors about Cuphead having a crush on King Dice were true.

it would be clear that King Dice wouldn’t return the feelings,

and it be one sided and only Semi-Canon.

then again it would just be rumors that might not even be true.

I heard about the crush thing over on Youtube.

plus if it turns out to be true, and Devil finds out,

we the fans would have to give Cuphead the advice to save his life....

“Run.”

even if Alphys might only have platonic feelings for Asgore in Deltarune.

she might still end up with Undyne, and it if turns out that Alphys is transgendered then I think that Undyne would still love her.

but there is a fact that it might not become canon or show in future chapters of Deltarune, the whole Alphys being transgender, not the whole Undyne x Alphys.

I think Chapter 2 has shown that there is hints of that ship in that game.

it would be interesting if you could play match maker and those who match will end up together at the end of the game.

like Susie with Berdly, and Noelle with Catti.

or Susie with Noelle, and Catti with Berdly.

it is clear that Alphys in Deltarune is different from the one from Undertale.

because the Alphys from Deltarune is a fan of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2.

which might not be a bad thing, from what we read in her review.

wouldn’t be surprised if those two Alphys met and they fight over which is better, and then a third Alphys says she likes both.

well even if I do like the Powerpuff Girls Reboot too, I can still find some problems with it and if it was allowed to continue maybe they could of fix it.

one of the parts I loved in that show, is the friendship between Blossom and Princess, and Bliss the Older Sister of Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.

that show can be seen as taking place in a different timeline, where the girls are a few years older than their past selves and share the same past like their counterparts but their futures ending up differently.

PPGD is my number one favorite though, I mean I still love PPG

but Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi (or just Powerpuff Girls D)

was out way before Powerpuff Girls Z,

and it has been running way longer than the canon and semi-canon series of the Powerpuff Girls.

it is also a Crossover series, and even if Buttercup has a crush on Sensei Jack...(who is Samurai Jack.)

I think he might be from a timeline where his true love Ashi died.

but in the timeline he ends up in, his counterpart and Ashi had descendants.

and one of the descendants happens to be Professor Utonium,

and if one of the ingredients for Utonium’s chemical X

happens to be some of Utonium’s blood which has traces of Aku,

then that would mean that Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup have traces of Aku in them as well.

it be interesting if Alphys agreed on this theory lol. 

but yeah after discovering that Samurai Jack might be the Ancestor of the PPG (which that would include Ashi as their Ancestress.)

it might be for the best that Buttercup’s crush goes from the puppy-love crush

to just fondness and platonic feelings, because Sensei Jack possibly being a alternate timeline counterpart of her ancestor.

but that might not be added to the PPGD,

but one can only look out for when it does.        

[crackinwise]

If I could still draw, I'd make an art series showing Taka wearing or using all the Monomono Machine gifts you can give him. But I'll have to settle for uselessly pointing and talking about them, because some are like "ah yes," while others...

LOVES:

Mac's gloves: A pair of boxing gloves infused with a staggering amount of passion and effort. Wearing them makes you want to throw a thousand cross-counters.

We know the reference (Punch-Out) but is it just the passion and effort Taka likes? Taka only mentions kendo, I think, but maybe he also takes boxing for exercise and last-resort self defense. Middle school was rough on him for unknown reasons. Whether he picked up boxing for focus or just learning to dodge a punch, it's cute picturing Mondo holding the punching bag for him or them sparring in a ring with very different fighting styles.

Red scarf: A scarf belonging to a certain masked hero. It's tattered and worn due to the countless battles it's been through.

I... don't know the reference. I couldn't find it either. Does anyone know? Strider Hiryu could fit, but Taka thinks games are a waste of time when Makoto talks to him. Red is very much a hero color in Japan as well as associated with deities and protection. Does Taka like the certain hero? Does Taka want to be seen as a hero or protector as well as a good leader?

Ya know what? I've read like two fics where Mondo is a secret superhero--where are the superhero!Taka fics and pics?! (No official art of Taka in a red scarf either makes me boo.)

Adorable Reactions Collection: A DVD that contains footage of people reacting to various pieces of art.

Your guess is as good as mine. For the culture of it? Studying reactions/expressions of others? Maybe he likes seeing people learn of things for the first time? That'd be very wholesome of him.

Chin Drill A fashion accessory that allows you to equip a drill on your chin. It is said to represent the idea of "spiral energy".

Okay. Okay, what? Either we're doing a Gurren Lagann joke--spiral power gets stronger thru generations (Taka's stronger than his grandfather) and causes people to be blindly driven towards their goals--or we're referencing spiral energy in mysticism: all stages of life and rebirth going for infinity. For spiral symbolism, there's "spirals represent evolution and growth of the spirit." But this is... Dude, this attaches to your chin. And he LOVES it. Dafuq.

LIKES:

[sakura bouquet, math problems, & handheld console cut for image limit]

Overflowing Lunchbox: A lunch box stuffed with rice, ginger, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, and more. It's meat-free, so you vegetarians out there are covered, too.

"Give the poor kid a generous meal." Just punch me in my chest. This gift is why I made the post about Taka and Mondo gifting food to each other.

G-Sick Watch: Most people consider it a "throwaway watch" due to its poor quality. Still, it enjoys massive popularity thanks to its low price.

"Give the poor kid a watch he could afford." Ya know what's weird? This watch is in Hina's Love category. Does she break watches in the pool a lot because she forgets to take them off?

Leaf Covering: A loincloth meant to emphasize one's manliness. Its simple design features a single leaf overlaid on white cloth.

I mean, it's... it's self-explanatory.

Quality Chinchilla Cover: A dark red seat cover. Its refined design is intended for only the most elite clientele.

My dudes, this is a fur motorcycle/bike seat. It's on Mondo's Love list, obviously. Why is it in Taka's Likes? Does he like soft things? Is he envious of luxury items maybe he remembers his grandpa having? Does he just want a really plush seat as he rides with Mondo? (Idk, man, but chinchilla farms are cruel.)

Cherry Blossom Bouquet: A collection of branches from a sakura tree. In the language of flowers, cherry blossoms represent "a woman of superior beauty".

Every other character Likes or Loves this too, including Mondo. As for flower language, I can't find that definition at all. I do find it meaning love, general beauty, renewal/new beginnings, fleeting life/mortality (ouch) and imagery tied with samurais because of that short life.

Berserker Armor: Donning this armor bestows the wearer with immense power, but at the cost of their soul and senses.

Uh. Ishida? Actually, even for Ishida that's a bit intense. The cost of their soul? Taka's/Ishida's whole thing is preserving his soul & Mondo's together. Unless he silently wants his soul out completely because it's causing him so much pain, and only Mondo's should live on in him. Maybe this item is leftover from the early code where you could interact with Ishida in Free Time at least once.

The only other person that likes it is Jack/Jill/Syo, so I assume this is a joke about personality switches (for two different mental health reasons) to their less stable selves, who go berserk.

Millennium Prize Problems: These seven important mathematical problems were posted by the Clay Mathematics Institute, with a reward of one million dollars for each one solved.

"Give the poor nerd a way to pay off his family's debt!"

The Funplane: The newest popular portable game system. It has a hi-def touchscreen, and can also play music and videos, making for the perfect all-in-one media machine!

Now, this is another gift you can give to everyone and they'll at least Like it. I guess Taka could use it for educational videos, or "studying" pop culture with Professor Makoto.

And just because we're here, can I just...

MONDO LOVES: sonic cup-a-noodle, quality chinchilla cover, fresh bindings, and

Roller Slippers: Slippers with a small wheel installed in each heel. They were invented to move easily around the house, but there is absolutely no demand for them.

Mondo. Mondo, your taste, hun. No. I want to see Mondo rolling by on these in their house and Taka going apoplectic.

[siumerghe]

Chang’an map, from China's Golden Age. Everyday Life in the Tang Dynasty:

1. Forbidden Park - Cherry orchard, pear grove, vineyard, football field, polo grounds.  2. West Park - Ice pits for refrigerating foods during the spring and summer. 3. Daming Palace - Archery hall, bath hall, storehouse for musical instruments, drum tower, bell tower, football field, cockfighting arena, Pear Garden Troupe, Entertainment Ward. 4. East Park - A football field. 5. Barracks for the Divine Strategy Army. 6. A shrine for Laozi’s father. 7. [Yeting Palace - the imperial harem.] The Flank Court, where women were incarcerated for the crimes that their menfolk committed. There was also a school for palace ladies here. 8. West Palace - Archery hall, polo grounds, football field, drum tower, bell tower. 9. East Palace, the heir apparent’s residence. [During Emperor Xuanzong’s reign both crown princes didn’t lived here. They lived in no. 13, together with their brothers.] 10. A branch of the Entertainment Ward that had the finest singers. A carriage park where mandarins attending court in the Daming Palace left their vehicles for the day. [...]  12. A branch of the Entertainment Ward that had the finest dancers. In 730 Emperor Xuanzong had four palace halls dismantled and reassembled as halls and gates for the Taoist abbey in the southwest comer. Formerly, the grounds of the temple were gardens for an agricultural bureau. 13. A residence for princes. [Ten Princes Residence, later renamed to Sixteen Princes Residence.] 14. A Zoroastrian church.[...] 

16. Seat of the eunuch agency. [...] 18. The national Taoist abbey dedicated to the worship of [Laozi] in this ward had statues of Xuanzong and later emperors. 19. A Persian (Nestorian) church. 21. Princess Anle’s mansion. 22. This street was the site of a carnival held in 713. 23. Imperial factories. 24. Service for Supreme Justice. 25. Gold Bird Guard East. [Actually, this is a mistranslation. Should be Guard with Golden Maces 金吾卫. It’s one of the 16 Guards of Chang’an. Historically its name comes from 金吾 - a ceremonial mace, an attribute of an official called zhi jin wu  執金吾 ("carrying a mace"), who was responsible for order in the streets.] [...] The home of an imperial flautist was located here. [...] 26. Princess Tongchang’s mansion. It had a well with a railing made of gold and silver. 27. A court for imperial musicians. 28. A Zoroastrian church. 29. The first site of the Persian (Nestorian) church (no. 19). The home of An Jinzang, who cut his belly open with a knife to defend Emperor Ruizong against charges of treason, was in this ward. 30. Princess Taiping’s mansion. 31. A Zoroastrian church. 32. Gold Bird Guard West. [A mistranslation. See my comment in p.25 above.] 33. A Persian (Nestorian) church. 34. Imperial stables and hay fields for horses.  35. Halls for civil and military examinations. 36. The imperial ancestral shrine. 37. [...] There was a polo field in the western part of this ward. 38. At this former wedding hall for imperial princesses, An Lushan had eighty Princesses, their husbands, and consorts of princes slaughtered in 756. 39. A workshop for a maker of musical instruments. By candlelight the Tang’s most renowned painter [Wu Daozi], while drunk, in a single night executed a mural for 4 gate in the Buddhist monastery east of this ward's northern gate. 40. Three provincial transmission offices. [...] 41. The street where Emperor Xuanzong convened public entertainments, to celebrate his birthdays.  42. Xingqing Palace - Xuanzong's aloeswood pavilion and an archery hall. A Buddhist monastery located in this area was converted into a palace in the early eighth century. 

43. West Market. Lanes: Axes, Ready-Made Clothing, Bridles and Saddles, Weights and Measures, and Pongee. A Persian bazaar. Wineshops and taverns. Vendors of beverages, gruel, and cooked cereals. A safety deposit firm. The government offices for controlling commerce were located in the center block. There was a pond for releasing the living in the northwest corner. The exact locations of the solitary willow under which most executions took place and the pool for storing wood are unknown. 44. A court for imperial musicians, The mansion of an eminent minister here had a “pavilion of automatic rain,” that is, air conditioning. [...] The local school for citizens of the capital was located in the southeast corner. 45. In 720 the walls of this ward collapsed during a heavy rain. Here, Princess Taiping had a mansion, an emperor discovered that courtesans were living in a Taoist convent, and a dwarf illusionist changed herself into a bamboo stalk and a skull. 46. Capital schools: the Sons of State, Grand Learning, and Four Gates, as well as colleges for law, mathematics, and calligraphy. This ward had three provincial transmission offices. 47. North Hamlet (the Gay Quarters). The Alley of the Jingling Hames was located in the southwest. Seventeen provincial transmission offices. The mansion of a princess in the northwest corner of this ward had a polo field. [...]  48. East Market. Ironmongers’ Lane, a tavern, a pastry shop, and a seller of foreign musical instruments. The government offices for controlling commerce were located in the center block. [...] There was a monastery in the market, and a pond for releasing the living in the northeast comer. 49. A Turkish prince had a mansion in this ward [...].  50. The office of Chang’an’s mayor. [...] 51. The monastery occupying the entire southern half of this ward had a pond for releasing the living and the largest number of entertainment plazas in the capital. [...] 52. The offices of Wannian County, the eastern half of the city. [...]  54. A bureau for managing the households of princes. [...] In 656 the throne converted the dwelling into the south-western monastery. 55. A chief minister's mansion here had a pavilion with walls that were covered with a plaster made from an aromatic plant that came from Central Asia. The Tang's Small Goose Pagoda in the northwest comer survives today. 56. A shop that sold fancy pastry. One of the monasteries here had a statue of Buddha carved out of jade from Central Asia. 57. One of the Taoist abbeys in this ward was originally a lavish mansion that Emperor Xuanzong bestowed on An Lushan. In the mid-eighth century the household of a general here numbered 3,000.[...] 59. Zoroastrian church. Felt Alley. [...] There was a large polo field in the vacant land to the west that was attached to the mansion of a princess in the early eighth century. 60. There was a firm here that hired out square-faced exorcists and rented hearses and other equipment for funerals. 61. The offices for Chang’an County, the western half of the city. 62. Graduates of the Advanced Scholars examination held “cherry feasts” at the Pavilion of Buddha's Tooth in the southwestern monastery to commemorate their triumph. A mint for casting copper cash. 63. Xuanzong abolished the shrine for an imperial princess here and bestowed the property on a close aide for use as a polo field. [...] 65. City archives, Directorate for Astronomy, and a garden that Xuanzong bestowed on An Lushan. [...] 66. An Entertainment Ward and the Board for Fife and Drum Music, Two fortune tellers lived here. [...] 67. [...] In this ward crowds of people flocked to the home of a superb physiognomist, or face reader, to have their fortunes told. The Buddhist monastery here had an entertainment plaza.

71. [...] This ward had a pond for releasing the living. 72. A medicinal garden for the heir apparent was located in the northwest corner. A pastry shop stood beside the north gate. The ruins of an ancient shrine marked the highest point in the city. Citizens visited the spot to purify them- selves on the third day of the third moon and ninth day of the ninth moon. 73. The southern half of this ward was entirely occupied by graves. It had no dwellings. 74. An Lushan's garden. 75. Graduates of the Advanced Scholars examination held “peony parties” at a pavilion in a garden here to celebrate their success. [...] 76. A field for training soldiers in the use of the crossbow occupied this entire ward. In the seventh century it had been a market for selling slaves, horses, cattle, and donkeys. 77. A haunted house. The monastery here had a room for making monk’s robes.[...] 78. The monastery on the right had more than ten courtyards and 1,897 bays. Its pagoda, the Large Goose, where graduates of the Advanced Scholars examination inscribed their names in the Tang, survives today. It also had a bathhouse and an entertainment plaza. The monastery on the lower left had 4 pond for releasing the living. [...] 79. Graduates of the Advanced Scholars examination held “peony parties” to mark their achievements at two government pavilions in this ward. 80. The inn here was attached to a rapid relay post station. 81. A garden in this ward provided food for the heir apparent’s household. 82. Among other things, the government garden here supplied pear blossom honey. 83. Apricot grove where graduates of the Advanced Scholars examination celebrated their success with feasts. 84. At the monastery on the right a 330-foot-tall pagoda was erected to counter the adverse yin forces of a lake west of the city. Its cloisters had one of Buddha's teeth, three inches long, that a pilgrim brought from India. 

[latentletters]

Surrender

Dear heart,

Sometimes nature blesses us with a gift as a reminder that we are seen, heard, loved just as we are.

All the years of planting seeds, immersing our knuckles in the dirt, waiting through the seasons, until exhausted at last we surrender, become part of the landscape surrounding us. Finally, when we give our whole self, fruit is borne, not from our meager human effort or even our desire, but from the pouring out of patience and nurturing the soil from our soul.

What grace, what delight. To remember that we are worthy and deserving of all the good in the world, that we belong, just as we are, already amazing.

My brain and body keep replaying this blossoming, a prayer to write on my heart this intrinsic truth: that yes, I am seen, and yes I am worthy of love.

I pray that this would be a gentle inspiration to practice connection grounded in generosity, root into authenticity and vulnerability, to spread joy through all of your flowering selves.

For no matter how many times we may brace ourselves against the darkness of the unknown, we must not forget that the dark will embrace us in its own unexpectedly beautiful ways. Let us be open despite the darkness, hopeful precisely because of it. We are the lights.

Love, Alexandra

[cxptain-rex]

Underneath The Stars {Captain Rex}

pairings: rex x reader; platonic!jesse x reader

warnings: this angst guys I mean it made me cry so :)) hold on to your handkerchiefs

a/n: I hope you guys enjoy it, I came up with it while listening to ‘Burying the Dead’ it is the last track you hear on the final episode of Clone Wars

tags: @morganas-pendragons @painkiller80 @notreallybeccab @xyxanonxyx @of-stardust-and-dreams cause’ you guys are the best.

***

***

The stars looked brighter that night on that unknown moon, Rex overlooked into them searching for something. An answer perhaps, anything to guide his way on the new reality of what his older life had become. He oversees the helmets on the valley of the wreckage. Jesse’s helmet hunts his mind and heart, how they were use as pawn for a trick. A mere trick to take over the galaxy.

Rex quivers at the thought of losing his brothers and he for once he cannot stop the tears from dropping. He sobs and mourns throughout the night as the stars shine brightly.

“They are up there now” a voice says from behind Rex, a shadow looms until the light of the stars shine your figure. The captain - whom never liked being a commander anyway - takes a ragged breath as he does not meet your gaze. You frown, following his gaze towards the makeshift cemetery of clones.

Your heart skips a beat as your gaze falls on Jesse’s helmet. Your best friend. Dead. Tears threaten to fall but you push them away. You must remain strong for Rex.

Silence is the only thing surrounding you and for once the Force flows peacefully. It emits warmth and you enjoy it for the time being. You take a few steps forward and plop down besides Rex. Your mind betrays you as you remember how the cruiser fell through the clouds. You remember how Ahsoka didn’t almost got on the bomber with Rex. You remember how you stood behind trying to save your best friend. And failing miserably.

“Jesse! Please this isn’t your doing. Let me help you” you shout over the sound of the cruiser breaking apart. The clone managed to pry himself up, hand on his DC-17 blaster pistol as he points it towards you. The pistol does not scare you away, in fact you stalk towards him with your hands up.

“Please” you whisper as you come to stand in front of him. Jesse cries and trashes in his mind. His subconscious screaming for your help. He knows that it is not his doing but in fact he is being controlled by something rather dark. He wants to scream for you and he tries but he cannot stop pointing his pistol towards you.

“Y/N” he croaks trying to regain control of his mind and body. He fails. “Jesse, I’m right here” you mumble as you feel the cruiser fall faster. Time is running out for you and Jesse. “We have to leave, please” you beg holding out your hands for him to take. You wouldn’t leave the ship without your best friend. Jesse knows he will die. He must do anything to protect you, it is too late for you to make the jump.

Everything happened way too fast for you to think. Jesse with his last free will wraps himself around you, acting as a breaker for the fall. And you fall. Hard and fast. The landing of Jesse and you in his arms alarm you as you try to pry yourself from the iron grip. Black dots form on your vision as you try to comprehend the situation. “Jess” you mumble trying to feel the man but you feel nothing as darkness envelops you. As you fall unconscious, Jesse lets a ragged breath as he feels free at last. He knows he is dying. He basks in the moment of holding you one more time before parting into the stars with the rest of his fallen brothers.

Rex had found you wrapped in Jesse’s embrace, he feared that he lost you both. But his brother managed to save you. The image alone would hunt Rex for the rest of his days. As you break free from the clutches of the memory in your mind, your hand finds Rex’s. Linking yourself to him, your head falls on his plastoid covered shoulder. For a moment you do not find the strength to speak. Silence is the only thing engulfing you and Rex, aside from the stars and the warmth of the fire you and Ahsoka had made earlier in the evening. The Togruta has gone to the night watch, making sure no clones or anyone has tracked you down which you highly doubt.

“Everyone must think that we are dead” you manage to say as your gaze lingers too long into the fire. The comment makes Rex blink until he manages to grasp your chin softly and turn your face towards his. He manages to meet your gaze this time and the usual charm in your eyes has been lost. The blonde clone has no words for you. He hasn’t spoken much since he and Ahsoka landed the bomber on the moon in order to find any survivors. A few words shared but nothing else.

“Perhaps, but we have survived. You know the truth. We survived” and they didn’t he wanted to say but the words did not made their way for you to hear them. Rex cannot bring himself to remember how you pushed Ahsoka towards the bomber and stayed behind. He watched how you ran back for Jesse, he feared for your life. The captain did not see you again until he found you amongst the wreckage. He had no idea how you survived the fall but seeing Jesse underneath you made sense. A crude death for his brother, a sacrifice he made in order to save you.

The stars still shine, they twinkle and your heart cracks. Jesse, Fives, Tup and the rest. And even the ones whom you assume that are as well dead. They are up there, you tell yourself as the tears finally fall. Your heart bleeds for your family. The family you managed to built thanks to a war which only led you to lose it as well. You think about your master, Obi-Wan and for your older friend Anakin, in hopes of believing that they survived. Being left in the darkness with no chance of surviving, just hope. That’s what you have now, hope.

Hope is a bright star in a hopelessly dark universe. Through light years of distance, the brightness fills our inner selves. Hope makes people smile on the inside as well as on the outside. Hope is not just an emotion, it is a promise that smiling and laughter are just around the corner. When the fighter has been laid on the canvas by a well placed right to the jaw, hope is there saying, "Get up. Take a nine count if you must, but be ready to stand, and have the ref dust off your gloves. You're going to win this match." Hope is drawn to the person who sees beyond the present defeat, beyond the moment of being cast down, beyond the loss of the job, and beyond the negative words of hopeless voices. There is that voice from the "bright star" telling the galaxy to look beyond the darkness - to the bright light of hope.

Rex gives you hope and love as warmth fills you again. You lay under the stars, which were like a beautiful, surreal blanket above your heads. You could feel his heartbeat against the back of your head, and could hear the soft breaths of him by your side. That's when it hit you: Sometimes you are like stars, you fall to make someone's wish come true.

The captain takes a deep breath as his eyes follow the twinkling stars above your heads. His lips part as he cradles your hands. “Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum.” He says and you follow him through repeating as well. In your mind you repeat the names of the fallen.

“I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal” you whisper softly the Mando phrase in your own language. You hide your face in Rex’s chest, perhaps darkness has bestowed upon the galaxy but your love has light in it big enough to keep you and Rex sane and alive.

As you lay under the stars you manage to find peace within yourself and Rex. Perhaps you might be on the run but your lover remains by your side. You have lost your family but you have love and life. And you must celebrate it. Perhaps not now but later when the galaxy finds peace once again.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum” Rex whispers loud enough for you to hear. Your heart skips a beat as you meet his gaze, “I love you too, Rex” you mumble brushing your lips against his.

Rex holds you gently, cupping your face with one hand. He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of your neck. Yout body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook your body and the euphoric warmth blossomed within you once more. You were breathless with delight as he showered you with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth. You gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection. Rex drew back again and spent a moment studying your face.

The stars managed to make your eyes alive, and for an instant Rex was drawn back to Coruscant, to his vods, to you. You are the living memory of his brothers and of his former life. You are the only string that keeps him remembering the happy times that he had with his brothers. With his general. With Ahsoka. With you. And he smiles. For one he smiles genuinely.

You felt your blush deepen under his scrutiny. Rex gazed at you lovingly, his eyes softening with tenderness before sparking with something else. He tilted you head to the side and kissed you, his lips demanding. You felt a smoldering heat deep within her as Rex’s grip tightened, crushing your body to his, gentle yet firm. He slanted your head further, deepening the kiss.

The eerie darkness of the night would never escape your memory. You think of the pitch-black curtain draped over the sky, and the twisted, warped shapes that the stars made against the blackness. The milky speckles twirled and danced along the sky in various patterns, tugging at the corners of your lips in a way that almost made you smile. Rex still by your side, the kisses shed by him sparking a fire in you alive. It was hard to shove aside the worries corrupting your mind, but eventually, you stopped thinking. You weren’t alone. You have Rex. Nothing bad from your life could touch you. Not a single thing could harm you or Rex. As you stared up at the sky and studied the silver glow of the stars. They smiled down at you with love so intense it warmed your soul like a fireplace on a cold winter's night. And there you were, laying underneath the stars at midnight to escape your life at the moment, not wanting to do anything but enjoy the moment with Rex. But the look that the stars gave you didn't cause the storm to go on inside of you. Instead, a hot blue fire flickered in your heart and soon started to grow, eating at all of the dark emotions in its path. Your worries burned away, and the tears that were starting to form again at the corners of your eyes melted down your cold face with a rush of relief.

Crying felt good, especially when they were tears that you didn't want to push away. They weren't drops of sadness, no. They were more like the feelings of joy, relief, happiness and freedom streaming away from your hurting eyes. They were temporary cleaners to wash away the pain. You never cried, it just wasn't you even when you lost troopers or anything. But this night, under the protection of millions of stars and the beautiful moon, you felt like you could let the floodgates open with a single snap of your fingers. You stared up at the sky and continued to let your pain run away for the moment. The cold midnight winds rolled in and tickled your body as you layed on the floor, not ever wanting to leave. Not ever wanting to leave Rex’s side. Or the peaceful moment.

You smile at the twinkling stars, knowing that your vods watch over you amongst the stars now.

***

A/N: While I wrote this I cried. For real, I shed tears. I really miss clone wars way too much and I just came up with this and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you guys for being here! It means the world! As always reblog and like for more content

[shadows-and-science-gone-mad]

The Rise and Fall of the Brouscar Hegemony

Eons ago, a new race reached the level of technological advancement necessary to leave their homeworld and join the rest of the galaxy as space-farers. Locked inside containers of metal and glass, they were welcomed into the universe with open arms. But, soon, their true colors revealed themselves. They began to lay waste to the splendor of the cosmos, pillaging, destroying, and conquering in a reign of tyranny that lasted a million years. Though their bodies were brittle, they ruled with an iron fist. No other species has ever so utterly dominated the galaxy for so long. And yet, while they still live on in infamy many millennia later, what they have since become is less than a shadow of a shadow of their former might.

They were the brouscari. And this is their story.

The planet Brouscar was an odd world. It was about as small as is physically possible for a planet to be, while still being able to hold onto a breathable atmosphere. Beneath pink-tinged skies, this tiny swampy world played host to countless species, elongated and soft-bodied, perfectly adapted to a microgravity environment.

Of these strange creatures, the most fearsome were the beings that would give rise to the brouscari. Though their bodies shared the common radial symmetry of most of Brouscar's life, in one capacity, they were utterly unique amongst their myriad kin. On a world of soft-bodied creatures, they alone developed bodies covered in hard chitin, with sharp claws and knife-like teeth. The gelatinous herbivores of Brouscar were utterly powerless against their nimble, spider-like predators.

With their place at the top of the food chain secured, these proto-brouscari were well on their way to mastering their ecosystem. The wholesale slaughter of their prey sowed the seeds of destruction in their minds, seeds that would one day blossom into the unspeakable atrocities committed in their name. With their newfound diet of flesh, the added nutrients led them down a path leading slowly, inexorably, towards sentience. As soon as they began to harness fire, their dominion of the world was complete, and nothing would stand in their way.

It was only a matter of time before they realized that the only place left to go was up.

The amount of time that elapsed between the invention of tools and the first time a proto-brouscari explorer set foot on an alien world was unbelievable. Within the span of two generations, they had advanced to the point of sending manned missions to the other worlds within their star system. Once those were claimed for their burgeoning empire, it would only be another fifty years before their boldness pushed them to venture even further.

Space is big. It is an incomprehensibly vast expanse, teeming with amazing phenomena and fantastical creatures. However, one must understand that, though the universe is a place of infinite wonder, those wonders are separated by an eternity of absolutely nothing. If one lacks the ability to travel faster than light -- impossible -- or harness wormholes -- very, very difficult -- most of the experience of space travel consists of little more than flying through the emptiness of the void for years on end.

When the brouscari set off into the unknown, they knew enough about the universe to understand this fundamental fact of space travel. They anticipated that the journey would take generations, and that no one who left would ever see their home planet again. This was a risk they were fully prepared to take in the name of bringing glory to their empire.

For millennia, the brouscari scout ships flew, drifting away from their ancestral Brouscar in all directions. Over the years, the limitations of their bodies, so finely attuned to life in their swampy home, began to reveal themselves. On Brouscar, their spiny bodies and hard shells gave them a critical advantage over their soft-bodied prey. But, in the tight confines of a spaceship, a rigid exoskeleton only hinders movement, and long spines have the potential to get snagged on part of the ship, or to tear a hole in a spacesuit.

And so it was that, over time, the brouscari discarded the chitinous armor that so enhanced them back home. Their new forms were not altogether different from the jellyfish-like creatures upon which they once fed. While they retain a hard claw on each limb to this day, all other solid body parts were completely eliminated.

Of course, such a radical anatomical shift was not without its complications. Before, their exoskeletons were still capable of supporting their bodies even in high-gravity environments. But, by evolving in zero-gravity for so long, they became so delicate that they would need protective suits to even survive the feeble gravitational forces present on their ancestral planet. A strong-enough impact could pop them like water balloons.

None of this is to say that their ferocity was weakened along with their bodies. Far from it. If anything, the eons of isolation within their ships only radicalized their zealotry even further. While they were always aggressive, their ruthlessness was mostly an extension of their niche as apex predators -- in a competitive ecosystem, they needed to be more dangerous than their rivals to survive. But, in the sealed environment of a spaceship? Their predatory aggression evolved into something far more sinister. Eons in space made their bodies feeble, but only hardened their hearts, until only a blackened core of seething anger remained.

And, when they finally made first contact, this anger finally found an outlet.

The fortisyph were, in many ways, perfect foils for the brouscari. They had also evolved on a low-gravity planet covered in swampland, and had spent millennia drifting through the infinite. However, while the brouscari's endless isolation turned them into bitter husk of their former selves, the fortisyph spent their time in space studying and trying to understand the universe around them. The descendants of peaceful prey species, the fortisyph hadn't known violence or hardship since they left home. So, when their colony ship encountered the first brouscari vessels, they were expecting to meet their new celestial neighbors with open arms.

This illusion was shattered in an instant when the brouscari actually responded.

The exact records of what occurred in those fateful hours aboard the fortisyph colony ship have been lost to time. But, given the atrocities that were about to be committed in the brouscari name, it is fairly easy to guess. The peaceful fortisyph, extending an arm of friendship, were met with the teeth and claws of violent warfare. The brouscari tore through them like so many of their ancestor's helpless prey.

Then, once it was cleared of all life, the ship was stripped down for parts. Initially, the brouscari invaders had only intended to salvage materials to repair the damage their ship had undertaken in its millennia-spanning journey. But, in the process of scrapping their victim's vessel, they stumbled across the fortisyph's masterpiece: the wormhole drive -- a device which allowed for near-instant travel to any point in the cosmos.

With such a powerful tool at their disposal, the brouscari scarcely even waited for the blood to dry on their claws before beginning the campaign of chaos that would grant them such infamy.

It seems almost unnecessary to discuss what happened next. The millennia spent under the brouscari's clawed tentacles play such a critical role in the politics of the galaxy that they have become a shorthand for tyranny and imperialism. The artifacts of their conquest still litter the innumerable planets they laid to waste -- decaying sentry drones, the wreckage of towers, the smoldering remains of vast machines of war. Countless worlds, harboring countless beings, stripped bare of their life and left behind to rot, all in the name of bringing glory to the Brouscar Hegemony.

Due to their delicate anatomy -- specially honed for life in a zero-gravity environment -- the brouscari were incapable of directly engaging with their targets on their home turf. Even the weak gravitational pull of a small planetoid would crush them to death. So, instead, the brouscari turned the planet's gravity against its inhabitants. By far their favorite method of destruction was orbital bombardment. The ships would drop tens of thousands of projectiles from the edge of the space. These projectiles, aided by their needle-like shape, would pass through the atmosphere so rapidly that they wouldn't have time to burn up, striking the planet below with the force of a hydrogen bomb. Then, with the planet cleared of life, they would instantaneously travel to the next inhabited world, where this ruthlessly-efficient process would begin anew.

The annals of history are marred with the names of those exterminated in their vast campaign of destruction. The fortisyph. The oxcos. The varalans.

And the proto-brouscari.

After three million years in space, the brouscari had diverged considerably from their planet-bound ancestors. They were such different creatures that, when they eventually worked their way back to their ancestral home of Brouscar, they did not recognize their own planet or people as belonging to the same race. The system from which their dire campaign began was just another piece of collateral damage in their endless war against all other life.

But, perhaps, 'war' is inadequate. What the brouscari did was not warfare. It was genocide, on a scale never before seen, and never matched since.

After half a million years, with countless ruined planets and innumerable eradicated species in their wake, at last they had seemingly succeeded. They had conquered all of known space in a way nothing ever had before or since. Every system for hundreds of light-years was clutched within the tendrils of the Brouscar Hegemony.

But, as is often the case with imperialists, even this monumental task wasn't enough. Their entire society had been structured around constant warfare, and a society made for war has no purpose when there are no more wars to fight.

They needed a new enemy, something they had not yet conquered, something they could unleash their churning war engines upon that would give them one last taste of victory. And, lurking in the depths of space, they found exactly what they were looking for.

How unfortunate that it was the deltroi.

The brouscari had known of the deltroi for quite some time -- all spacefaring races were familiar with the bizarre and enigmatic entities. More ancient than all forms of organic life -- indeed, nearly as ancient as the stars themselves -- they had made themselves content with drifting through the cosmos observing the splendor unfolding around them, but never directly engaging with it. From within their crystalline shells, they had watched the rise of the brouscari with interest, but not concern. Concern was not in their nature.

It was only a matter of time before these passive nomads found themselves within the brouscari's crosshairs.

As soon as one of the brouscari colony ships had encountered a lone deltroi in the emptiness between two systems, it immediately broadcast its position to any other colony ships that were listening. Within moments, four other ships joined in the building fight. It seemed that the deltroi was cornered, and that yet another race would join all the others in oblivion.

One of the brouscari fired a single projectile at the deltroi.

And, in an instant, their invincible empire came crashing down.

In order to understand what happened here, one must first understand the exact nature of deltroi anatomy. Their bodies consist of a star-like core surrounded by a crystallized lead prism. This shell serves to keep the ravages of the universe from damaging their cores, but it also keeps the highly-radioactive core *in*, until its dangerous waste products have decayed enough to be safely vented out into space. This system is a finely-tuned balancing act, and any disruption to this balance could have catastrophic consequences.

When the brouscari projectile hit the deltroi, it punched a small hole clean through this leaden shell, providing all that radiation with a new exit point. This sudden depressurization caused the star-like core inside to collapse, triggering a supernova.

Within moments, the explosion immolated the shattered remains of its former casing, and swept through the assembled brouscari cruisers. The crews didn't even have time to register what had happened before a wall of gamma rays and photons ripped through their feeble forms. The force of the blast at such close range ripped the ships to pieces, scattering their wreckage across a light year of space.

In one fell swoop, this lone deltroi had done something that countless other species had failed to do for half a million years. It had proven that the boneless overlords of the cosmos were fallible. They could be beaten. They could be overcome.

They could be killed.

This simple event sent shockwaves through the empire of the brouscari. Naturally, given the enormity of the devastation, word spread like wildfire among the remaining colony ships. In all their millennia of conquest, they had never faced defeat, or even significant resistance. And suddenly, in the blink of an eye, five of their ships, fully outfitted with weapons and crew, were annihilated by an enemy who didn't even try to fight back. This was the first major setback in their campaign, and to have it be such a monumental one, the effects were immediate and drastic.

Almost as terrifying as the reign of tyranny that had preceded the incident was the great silence that followed. One day, the brouscari were the most dominating, ever-present force in the galaxy. The next, they seemingly vanished without a trace. No more planets were destroyed, no more species wiped out, no more technologies plundered. The greatest military campaign the universe has ever known evaporated faster than the crews of the doomed colony ships.

It seemed, for the moment, that the horror was finally over. That, after thousands of generations, the menace had finally been driven off. While things were turbulent for quite some time, eventually they began to calm, and an era of great peace settled over the galaxy.

Then, some twenty thousand years after the failed attack on the deltroi, the brouscari came back.

All sentient races who had survived their previous attacks braced themselves for the onslaught of another war, anticipating that the brouscari would pick things up where they had left off - or worse, that they would fight with even greater vigor than before. But, instead, they were met with beings who couldn't be more different.

Following the destruction of the five colony ships, the brouscari's morale had been thoroughly crushed. They had finally been beaten at their own game, had encountered a foe stronger than they could ever hope to destroy. War, put simply, was no longer *easy* for them. With their great defeat fresh in their minds, they did something their ancestors had not done for millions of years.

They turned away from the universe at large, and took a closer look at themselves. And they were horrified by the monsters they had become.

The time of great silence was, in essence, a self-imposed exile. The remaining brouscari colony ships halted their invasion plans, retreated to an uninhabited region of space, and spent twenty thousand years slowly un-learning the hateful doctrine that had governed their existence for so long. They took on the deltroi's role as passive observers of the cosmos - out of sight, but always watchful. They truly saw the splendor of the universe for the first time. But, where they saw new life and wonder, they also saw death and carnage. And it dawned on them that their entire existence had been built upon the latter.

Of course, one does not completely erase three million years of cultural evolution in a scant twenty thousand. But, while the brouscari are still very territorial and xenophobic, they no longer seek new worlds to destroy and conquer. Their ships have been stripped of both weapons and wormhole drives -- in fact, both of these technologies were offered as gifts to the other sentient races as a last gesture of good will, before retreating into their colony ships forever. These ships, once the lifeblood of the mighty Brouscar Hegemony, are now little more than decaying prisons for the great empire's last remaining descendants.

For the time being, the brouscari remain locked away in their self-imposed jails. While the rest of the universe has begun to slowly recover from their unmatched reign of terror, only time will tell where the next chapter of their turbulent story will take them.

[the-fae-folk]

Story Masterpost

Hey! This took a while to make. But here, as promised, is my story masterpost. I’ve organized some things so you can find them easier, though I’ll admit that “Beauty, Secrets, and Magic” is just the stuff I couldn’t really sort into a smaller category. Of the Fae Unaware Directions Come Running Water Distant Wars Wishes of the Sea In Order To See You Must... An Offer Those who say... Respect is Due An Exchange Cage Come to Us Ancient Wars The Age of Iron What are you? Immortal Hidden Among You First Music The Distant Days Count them with Letters Flower Wars Eyes? The Lost Ones We Fade Believing in Death Prices to pay Dance with the whole World Dreaming Lure *Click* Giants Asleep Fears of Darkness Bigger Problems Listen to the Giants Sweet Faerie Wine The Largest and Tiniest Decay and Dreaming Eyes and Earth Walking Mountains Battle Standard Gnaall Fictitious Dichotomy Faltering Heartbeats Among You Pixie Wings Unable to Perish Bridge trolls What is Fairy Ring? Terrible Wars Beautiful Dreams Kisses in the Night The Will of Trees Make no Mistake Have you Eaten? Beauty and Fashion Can you Calculate the Mind of the Fae The First Skies Do Fae Children Age at the Same Rate? A Dark Memory Black Dwarfs and Dark Futures The Conversation Vows of Love Ship of the Skies Reaching Hands The Little Folk The Prophet of Silvamune Damhán Alla Feasting Lost in the Deep Woods A way out? Faerie Dance Thrice Said is True Fools rush in The Deep Woods Welcome to the Deep Woods Places We Know Silence No Journey Will-o-the-Wisp Where are the Deep Woods? A Dreaming Memory Running Who Knows the Path? Unknown Footsteps Who Speaks? Go Home Whispers in the Mist Mossy Glades Old Gate An Echo of Footsteps Follow Me Tragic Ending The Way Forward is Still Barred Don’t Follow the Wisps Postern Never Know Waterfall When you Go Out Gold-Eyed Beast The Nightmare Step Lightly Bones Alone Golden Eyed Beast In Hiding Forget what comes Something Powerful Standstill Death Beware the Beast The Encounter Companion in the Cold Slumbering The Hunt Begins Again Well of Dreaming Light Screams in the Night Where is the Gold-Eyed Beast? Fear Something has Changed …3 …2 …1 The Crown of Shadow 7 Broken Mirrors Seven Seven Shattered Mirrors Places of Faerie A Faraway Place You The Places Between Distant Wars Buried beneath the Sand Wandering Blind The Lake A Flowered Ocean Exist? Or Not? Life’s Flow Door without a way Time Never Passes Here Only the Stories Remain Cracking Ice Fractal Prison Enough? All that remains is Dust Devastation of Dark Fire More of the Flowered Ocean Cliffs of Illithia and the Naiuruin Forests Beware the Wisps Stardew Deep Furnace Lanterns Lanterns On the River’s Edge The White Hound Do the Fae have Animals? An Old Lantern Lost Letters The Lament Fragment Silent Screams The Wait Together A Near Forgotten Letter Letter from a Brownie Tell a Story Lured Away From the Sea and Shore Warnings Never Free Don’t Stop Eat Not The Rule of Names Defiance Pretend Not To See Swamp Water Trust Me Do not Take Do Not I Seek A Warning

8 Tales at the Hearth’s Edge The Hill A tale of Three Gifts She and He A Chance Meeting The War  (Coincidence?) The Girl and the Road Silver Charity A Tale of Autumn Strange Beings The One Who Grieves The Lady The Librarians Not Quite Human Dark Eyed Forge Fires Together the Light She danced upon the Earth Crows for Eyes Wings Aeon Circling A Laughing God Sssssss... Broken Tomb She danced in the Snow The Dragon in the Well What Became of Her... The Prisoner in the Dark She Knows Adventure A Firebird Imprisoned The Child Mine Spoken Before The Descent The Courts of Season The Autumn Days Great Sorrow In the darkest days of Winter The Winter Remains Awakening of Spring End of Summer Wine and Summertime Blustering Winds The Lord of Autumn The Winter Queen Frost The Autumn Court Winter Masque A Cold Truth The Winter Court Nearly Time The End of Winter The Lord of Springtime The Court of Spring Spring’s Song Lovers of Springtime Light after the Rain The Time you Need The Story of the One Who Grieves Nobody Answered ... It Comes Closer Before the Silver Blossoms A West Wind It is Time The End of Spring Other Courts A Courtly Vision A Constellation of Myth Court of Ashes Hosts of Myrkvatn Aiolion Tribes Court of Dawn Castle inside a Raindrop Order The Rivers of Athu The Sidhe The Valley of Ga’Maldor Empire of the Seven Blossoms Canyons of Mür ‘gra Crowns Long Ago Legends Key to Destiny The Second Key The Third Key Three KEYS? About the Cave Crown of Sunlight New Moon Summer’s End What do the Crowns look like? Court of Shadows Autumn to Winter Songs Seek Listen Unknown Follow A Dark Call Burning / Why is it burning? Forgotten Prisoner Chains Come to the Faeries Thorns and Dreaming I Dreamed I Walked Fernweh Stories Told Poetry Bluest Sky Blue Red Yellow Orange Loving Winter Fire and Bone Requiem of a Love Song Eye See You Green Sleep among the Bluebells Song of Stars Night Companion Dancing in the Forest Moon Waters Memory in Sepia Lilies Scream. Cry. Silence. Drifting Faerie Ring Count Them Carefully Fairy Ring Dance Other Tales The Pied Piper Apples for Eternity The Dam Is anyone there? Call to the Sea Warmth Midas Grove of Shadows Resting Place All Hallows Evening Tale The Great Tree Sister of Mine Wit and Words Bread and Circuses Forest and Sea in Sorrow Reflection of the Heart Part 1 The Boy, The Troll, and the Bridge Between Them. The Raven and the Stone Crow Houses and Homes Beauty, Secrets, and Magic Seed Rain Brings Life Such Dreams If Wishes The Ancient Magic Beginning or Ending? Dive Into Silent Unknowns Eternity Like Leaves Imagine you walk across the sand Power of the Moonlight Enchanted Trap Rage Confusion Gifts of Stone Longing for Other Selves Darkened Waves Hunt of the Owl Not You Forgotten. Fairy Tales Curse Ravens Come Look Sun Stars Autumn Reflections Drift Gold beneath Grey Union Incomparable Names Life’s Road Fire in the Heart A sort of Balance Beauty of a Rose Not what they seem Glamour Humanity’s Treasures Compliments Infinity Why must you reject happiness? A Sounding of Silence Winds of Change The Blessing of Indifference In Tears we Grow Beauty A Raindrop The Trouble With Masks Lunar Eclipse Fly Ahead Be Ready Ugliness and Beauty The Secret of Bridges Morning? Wasting Time Widdershins Equilibrium Snail at Home Is it enough? Seven Poisons A Nexus of Roads Silence with us In the Face of Silence Cycle of Burning A Sky full of Joy Cloistered Grove Choices Fly Butterfly Fly Blooming in Adversity Distant Endless Moors Sweet Berries A Dreaming Once Met Seas of Black Sky Heaven’s Peaks Together upon the Road Written in the Stars Stolen Wishes Anew Blooming to the Music Sing A New World Song of Stone Love is... Water to the Soul Eyes will Watch Sometimes its nice Explore Change in the Air Drowning in the Dark The Song Plays On Furnace of Creation A Gemstone Found Upon A Hill Have you? Sometimes the Tree Dies Hold my hand A Simple Magic Of Course New Fallen Snow Seedlings Sleeping Wheel Still Sleeping Snowdrops Enjoy the Spring Cloying Beauty Soft Silence Mystery of the Rose Just Be When We were Here Last Ship Swift River Broken Painful Awakenings The Story of a Butterfly Such Beauty Play On Strawberry Mother and Child Strange Places Beyond Black Suns The Shallow Sea A Foundation of Nothing Awake in the Darkness Endless Darkness Absolutus Infinitus Twilight to Dawn The Burning Light Ruins, Somewhere Quotes from the Writer Alpha Beta Gamma Delta Epsilon Zeta Eta Theta Iota Kappa Lambda Mu Nu Xi Omicron The Journey The Lonely Tree Consider the Stars First City Only the Future Left What makes a Monster? A Secret Place Not Far Off

[hajimes-erect-ahoge]

Postmortem- Chapter 2

Shuichi wakes up from the simulation

ao3

It was warm.

Now that the cage surrounding the school was destroyed, the remaining students of the killing game were able to bask in the direct sunlight beaming down on them.

Shoving aside the rock fragments surrounding them, the trio climbed out from the spot in which Kiibo had hid them so that they could survive their supposed execution. Harukawa stood in awe, taking in the sight of the post-apocalyptic atmosphere, while Saihara helped Yumeno get to her feet.

Standing up alongside Harukawa, Saihara and Yumeno quickly realized why she was so transfixed on their surroundings. A bright patch of light was illuminating the entire school grounds, shining brightly on the remains of what once was the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. There was a gaping hole in the cage that once confined them, now open so that escape was an option to the trio.

Thank you, Kiibo.

Saihara couldn’t help but feel sentimental, knowing that their fallen classmates had once lived on this campus as well. They had all met each other here, slept in the dorms here, and ate breakfast together in the dining hall every morning. Saihara had trained with Momota and Harukawa in this very courtyard, also occasionally having meaningful conversations under the moonlight.

Despite the atrocities and betrayals that occurred during the killing game, Saihara had always had those two to depend on when he needed someone to turn to. Although Momota was no longer with them, he still had Harukawa, as well as Yumeno, and the three of them would escape this dreadful place together.

In unison, they all took a step forward: away from the Ultimate Academy and away from the killing game, but not away from the memories of their cherished classmates and the sacrifices they made for them.

…

A step… forward?

.

.

.

A w a y

F r o m

E v e r y t h i n g

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Saihara felt himself slowly drifting back into consciousness, but found himself unable to open his eyes. Thinking little of it, he tried to fall back asleep and continue whatever dream he was having…

Wait.

What was he dreaming about again?

That’s right… Harukawa, Yumeno and I were escaping from the killing game when… it happened.

The world started warping and twisting, swirling around into a dark and infinite nothingness. Reality itself seemed to freeze and morph into pitch black, almost as if the killing game itself was just a dream. 

...

There’s no way right?

The killing game… was fake? 

Saihara’s eyes shot open, only for him to discover that his vision was being blocked by an object. Removing said mysterious object from his face, he adjusted his vision to his surroundings.

What he saw was peculiar: he was laying in some sort of pod, a thick, light blue screen hovering just inches above his face, and the object that had once blocked off his vision appeared to be some sort of headset. Why this headset was once attached to his face was unknown, as well as what the hell he was doing just lying around in some mysterious pod.

With many questions swarming through his mind, Saihara placed his hands on the screen in front of him and pushed outwards, releasing himself from the pod’s confinement. He gingerly stepped out of the pod, observing his surroundings once more. There were numerous similarly structured pods arranged in a circle, and they all seemed to be open already, except for one. Upon counting the number of pods, Saihara concluded that there were fifteen in total.

Fifteen…? Does that mean… No, it can’t be true. There’s just no way that something like that is possible. Wouldn’t there be sixteen?

Saihara’s thought process was interrupted by the door to the room swinging open.

“Ah! Saihara-kun, you’re awake!”

A woman with blonde hair dressed in a nurse’s uniform walked in, carrying a pen and clipboard in one hand. Glancing down at the clipboard, she appeared to check something off before looking back up at Saihara.

“And that makes fourteen! Looks like almost everyone is awake now!” she smiled.

Saihara just stared at her, eyes wide and mind delirious with confusion.

“I know this must all be really confusing for you… I promise everything will make sense in just a bit. For now, why don’t we get you to your room? We’ll explain everything to you as quickly as possible so that you can see the others.” She gestured towards the door, motioning for Saihara to follow her.

“Ah… Okay…” Saihara replied, still not entirely sure what was going on.

He followed her out of the door and into the hallway, quickly realizing that he was in a hospital. Suddenly hyper-aware of his appearance, Saihara looked into a clear glass window that they passed by, observing his reflection in it. Noticing how disheveled his hair was, he promptly smoothed it down, not wanting to appear as disoriented as he felt. Before he even realized it, the nurse had stopped in front of a door to an open hospital room, motioning for him to walk in.

Doing as he was told, he walked into the empty room, observing how it looked like a standard hospital room. But why was he in a hospital in the first place?

“Why don’t you take a seat over there?” She gestured towards the open bed in the middle of the room, “We find it’s easier for patients to take the news while sitting down rather than while standing up, due to the, uh… nature of what we have to tell you.”

Saihara took a seat on the bed and looked at her expectantly. By now, he had pieced together what little information he had and had come to a conclusion, but, due to the low probability of that being the truth, he discarded that option as being the truth. Seeing as he didn’t have enough information to draw another conclusion, he simply waited for the truth to be told to him.

“So…” the nurse began, pulling over a nearby chair and sitting down, “I know this is going to be hard to hear, especially after all that you’ve been through… but the killing game was all just virtual reality. All of your classmates that you met are still alive and, although not everyone is awake yet, I’m sure they’re all eager to see you. Harukawa-san and Yumeno-san woke up earlier today, so I’m sure they’re expecting to see you.”

Shuichi just stared at her, processing the information he had just been told.

Everyone is still alive? So that means Momota and Akamatsu… no, everyone… is still alive? 

“Oh, but if you don’t feel up to visiting them yet then that’s totally fine! Take as much time as you need to rest! We don’t want you compromising your health at all! Although, since you didn’t actually experience a death in the simulation, there isn’t much for you to recover from… Though I suppose recovering mentally may take a while.”

“No…! I want to see everyone!” Saihara’s voice had suddenly returned, startling even himself as his voice echoed in the hospital room. He tightly gripped the edge of the bed, not realizing how tense his body had become.

Rather than being surprised, the nurse just chuckled.

“I see you’re feeling well after all! But before you go visit everyone, let me just explain a few more things to you.”

The nurse then proceeded to tell Saihara a variety of things, including how Shirogane was just an artificial intelligence program, and how their pregame selves had been completely destroyed, along with their memories of anything before the killing game. She then left Saihara alone to process all of this information before going out to see anyone, who she informed him would probably be in the dining hall, as breakfast time was approaching.

So everyone really is still alive… 

Logically, it made sense to him. When he had awoken, there were fifteen pods which, taking into consideration that Shirogane was an artificial intelligence program, accounted for all of the students. He had also noticed that there were fifteen hospital rooms during the walk to his room, further confirming his suspicions.

The truth is, from the moment he pulled that headset off and exited the pod, he knew that the killing game hadn’t truly happened. How else would that explain him suddenly waking up in a completely different place?

But he didn’t want to believe it.

There’s no doubt that he wanted his fellow classmates to be alive; In fact, there was nothing he wanted more than for everyone to be alive and well. But had every death he had experienced seeing really been fake? Saihara just thought it was too good to be true.

Apparently, though, it was true. And now Saihara had to confront that truth.

Collecting himself and his thoughts, Saihara pushed himself off the bed and exited the room.

--------------

“Mmm! These pancakes are so good, Tojo-san!” Akamatsu praised through a mouthful of pancakes, earning her an amused look from Amami.

“You got a little something there, babe.” Amami smiled,  wiping off a bit of syrup from Akamatsu’s upper lip with his finger.

Akamatsu giggled as she and Amami gazed lovingly at one another, the honeymoon phase of their blossoming relationship still going strong.

“Get a room you two! I can’t stand seeing a degenerate male being all lovey-dovey towards a female like that!” Chabashira announced, crossing her arms with disgust.

“And what about you and your girlfriend?” Amami asked jokingly.

Chabashira gasped dramatically before continuing:

“Leave Yumeno-san out of this you degenerate!” she cried, pointing at Amami accusingly.

“Nyeh… Leave me out of your petty arguments…” Yumeno adjusted her hat, avoiding eye contact with the other couple.

Just as Chabashira was preparing a threat for Amami, the doors to the dining hall slowly opened, indicating that whoever was coming in was trying not to cause a disturbance.

The dining hall fell silent, everyone staring at the now opened doorway. Everyone who was awake had gathered in the dining hall, leaving limited options as to who the new person coming in could be.

Feeling the numerous pairs of eyes on him, Saihara gently cleared his throat and shifted his eyes towards the ground. Before he even had a chance to speak, he was surrounded by his classmates, who were all clamoring with excitement.

“Saihara-kun!” Akamatsu was the first to greet him, throwing her arms around him in a warm embrace. “You’re awake! Finally!” She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, blissfully unaware that she had begun crying.

“Shuichi! Nice seeing you again, bro!” Momota’s familiar voice boomed throughout the dining hall, making his presence known to Saihara.

Saihara smiled warmly at the growing crowd around him, his eyes flitting to and fro between the many occupants of the room surrounding him. He was a bit overwhelmed at seeing all the people who he had previously thought were dead perfectly alive and well, but the joy swelling in his chest overpowered those feelings.

“Y-Yeah… Good to see you again!” He looked up at Momota, smiling at him confidently.

“Everyone, let’s give Saihara-kun some space.” Tojo spoke up, “We don’t want him to get too overwhelmed.”

Following Tojo’s orders, everyone in the group took a few steps back, giving Saihara some room to breathe. Akamatsu let go of Saihara and took a step back, standing face to face with him. She gripped his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Welcome back! I’m- I’m so proud of you! You…” She stopped momentarily to wipe her tears with her sleeve. “You did it! You ended the killing game! You’re amazing, Saihara-kun!”

Before he could even realize it, Saihara himself was crying as well, wet tears streaming down his face.

“I-I’m sorry…” He sniffled, hiding his face in his hands, letting go of Akamatsu’s hand in the proces.  “I’m just so happy to see you all…”

“Don’t be sorry, bro!” Momota slung his arm around Saihara’s shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.

Saihara continued to cry into his chest, accepting the comfort that his best friend offered him.

“Come on, Shuichi! Don’t be so down! Come eat breakfast with the rest of us, just like the good old times!” Momota gave him his signature thumbs up, encouraging just like he did during the killing game.

“Sure… Thank you, Momota-kun.” Saihara wiped the tears off his face and joined the rest of the group back at the table, sitting in between Akamatsu and Momota.

Saihara spent the morning getting to reconnect with his classmates, simply enjoying spending time with them. Finding out everyone was actually alive was probably the best thing to ever happen to him, but that doesn’t mean they had completely recovered just yet. They were still to meet with a private therapist, as well as to attend group therapy twice a week in order to work on their mental state.

Things could’ve been a lot worse, however. Saihara had expected there to be tension amongst those in the room, students holding grudges against one another for the atrocious actions they had committed while in the game. While, according to Akamatsu, things had been pretty rough at first, by now everyone had forgiven each other for what happened in-game. The thought of his classmates getting into arguments over what transpired in-game made Saihara’s heart ache, but there was nothing he could do about it now that it was in the past. All that he could do was be grateful for the peace that had now graced them.

Seeing everyone smile and laugh together at breakfast put all of his worries to the back of his head, relieving him of the previous stress of the killing game. Now that everyone was together again, things would certainly be getting better from here on out. Saihara smiled to himself as he enjoyed his breakfast and the delightful chatter of his fellow classmates.

He didn’t even notice that Ouma was missing.

[mcad-ae]

How to Practice Mindfulness, with Jes Roseberg

As MCAD students and faculty continue to navigate this difficult time, adjunct Product Design professor Jes Rosenberg’s yoga business is working to help parents and children stuck within their homes. The Adventure of Superstretch™ is a web page, app, and physical class that helps children learn yoga poses and physically engage with their own bodies. They teach that “Balance is a superpower!” and use many cartoon characters to demonstrate the various poses and methods to any age group and skill level. 

Superstretch Yoga™ is the top app for kid’s meditation, health, and wellness. Kids are able to learn alongside videos of other kids, animated characters, and music. The “adventure” is led by Superstretch, the super hero ready to teach any age the power of balance and stretching. Recently, Jes and Superstretch were featured in a Wall Street Journal article entitled “Family Going Stir Crazy? These Apps, Websites, and Games Could Help!” as an app to help parents in quarantine. 

Jes is an adjunct for product design courses at both the University of Minnesota and MCAD. She brings wellness and mindfulness into her curriculum at both institutions. In her current class at MCAD, Design Drawing, she works to integrate activities such as improvisational games and stretching exercises to unite the right and left brain and leave her students ready to learn. By teaching in this method, she emphasizes her belief in teaching her students how to think creatively and divergently, instead of just lecturing about technique. This prepares her students for life, instead of just giving the skills needed to pass the class. 

Due to her particular expertise, I asked Jes for her advice and thoughts on getting through the current global crisis. She responded-

“Navigating this new reality, our current life experience, is challenging. I’m feeling all my ‘feels’. Scattered, overwhelmed, afraid, uncertain, fried, goofy… There are lots of emotions happening and way too much computer time.  Plus, I’m eating a LOT of food from my fridge between all of the Zoom and Google Meetings. 

I love this B.K.S. Iyengar quote, “You do not need to seek freedom in a different land, for it exists with your own body, heart, mind, and soul.” This is so true! NOW is the time to tap into that freedom. 

In mindfulness practices (movement, breath work, meditation) I teach my students that through difficulties arise opportunities for evolution. We have a CHOICE when dealing with something unknown, something scary. So, one should be curious, walk up to the edge and take a step back, a couple of deep breaths to reflect and reframe your mindset and then you can determine what is the best course of action.

Mindfulness is a moment to moment awareness practice. Our mind is our biggest asset and we need to exercise and nurture it to be our best selves. Practice helps us to change our relationship to our thoughts which, at times, can be very cruel and negative. Paying attention is a muscle. All practice really is, is like taking a shower! It’s emotional hygiene that helps to integrate mind and body. You become intentional with your attention in your life and you can strengthen the circuitry to focus. It will make you calm, courageous and connected. 

I teach designers, just like in mindfulness practices, to be proactive vs. reactive in life situations. Design, like life, is fluid and ever-changing. I work to teach students to learn techniques to be innovative, resilient and thrive. To test and research all ideas because there is no bad idea as you are creating products for the future. 

Designers, and creativity, need to live in a no-judgement zone. To keep a beginner’s mind and see life with childlike wonderment is tough, not easy. It’s hard to open up to the freedom to be your best self. Yes, you need to be vulnerable. Yes, you need to practice every damn day because practice is progress and we don't always have good days. 

Life is organized chaos. This situation and time is very scary and frightening. It feels like we are living the full catastrophe. Give yourself space to listen. Be compassionate and empathetic to others but most importantly, to yourself. You can be resilient and thrive. Turn this obstacle into an opportunity.” -Jes Rosenberg

Jes also took the time to add some different techniques and activities to do throughout our time in quarantine. For other easy and fun activities, follow her instagram @superstretchyoga or @jes.rosenberg

Easy mindfulness practices to try in quarantine:

 o   Laugh and Smile Often. A smile is very powerful. And a deep belly laugh is like doing a sit up! Laughter creates a more positive state of being and can get you through a tough day. It also produces mirror neurons so when one-person similes the other person you are engaging with literally feels like smiling and leads to an optimistic attitude.

o   Breathe Deeply. Invoke the relaxation response by taking some deep breaths, exhaling thoroughly. It is so cathartic and will give you a “glow from within” vibe as it sends serotonin, the happy hormone, through your body. You could even repeat a soothing word every exhale like, “peace” or “calm”.

Our breath is the tool that makes our body fully functional. And the effects of breath, meditation and yoga on our body are incredible. When we harness the pure potential of our breath we come into alignment. We become grounded like a tree that is firmly rooted, healthy, nurtured and flexible. If we grow deep roots we can stand on our own two feet, bear fruit and flourish. Once we are settled, centered in our mind and body then our physical and emotional self can be its best. Aligned with purpose, meaning and value.

 o   Set a Positive Intention for the Day. Before getting up each morning and making the bed, plug-in to your heartfelt desire, paving the way to a positive attitude and outcome. 

o   Meditate. Meditation is the express ticket to happiness but the practice takes discipline. It should never be forced so if a seated meditation is not calling you yet, find something that puts you “in the zone” for optimal alignment. Normal activities like reading a book, listening to soothing music, cooking, painting, running, sitting and having coffee is a form of meditation. Even laying down for five minutes simply breathing; one hand on your heart, the other on your tummy feeling the rise and fall of the diaphragmatic breaths, is a meditation. (Just set a timer so that if you fall asleep, you can wake-up and still go on with your day!)

The practice just needs to be something that offers you moment-to-moment joyful awareness. Whatever you can do to feel time and space disappear and you can let thoughts come and go, and flow, without getting attached to them. 

MRI brain scan studies suggest that regular meditation reliably and profoundly alters the structure and function of the brain to improve the quality of both thought and feeling. Research also shows that mindfulness increases the capacity for empathy and social connectedness as well as positive emotions, such as love, joy, gratitude and contentment. 

o   Journal. Don't feel like writing? Start with a one-line-a-day gratitude book. Focus on one thing you are grateful for and write it down even on your phone or in an app. 

o   Do Nothing. Create a ‘do nothing’ sacred space in your house and just RELAX. Daydream for a half-hour with no guilt. Light a candle and breathe-in a relaxing scent. Lavender, cedar and pine are healing during busy times. 

o   Kindness. Treat people, and yourself, with compassion and kindness. Do small favors for people, expecting nothing in return. The best way one can uplift their own life is to uplift the lives of others.  

o   Give Yourself Credit. Make a list of your accomplishments. Feel Gratitude and Appreciation. Instead of a ‘To Do’ list make a ‘To Be’ list. You could even do a seven-day gratitude challenge with your family? 

o  Live Green. Take a nature walk and get some fresh air. Water a plant. Branch out and blossom. Recycle. Plant a tree. Find things that are sustainable and fulfilling. Cultivate new friendships. 

o   Reach Out. Texting and FaceBook messaging is great but try to call at least one family member or friend a day on the phone. Or write a letter snail-mail style!

o   Give. Zoom out and sense a whole new perspective. Spend a few minutes each day contemplating something greater than you. Reach out and support the community or a local non-profit with a helping hand, offer a hug, lend a listening ear, share time, learn about something new, read a “meditation a day” book, have lengthy discussions with people.

o   Digital Detox. Just 20 minutes away from a computer or smartphone restores your brain function and makes room for creativity. So, move around and shake off the old energy. Recharge your super human machine. Have a dance party. Draw a warm bath and dive in. Sing out loud. 

o   Chair Yoga. Reach, stretch, twist and even try a forward fold. Mindful movement and exercise rebalances the nervous system and allows you to de-stress and relax so that you can focus on the task at hand.

o   Respond Wisely. Be proactive vs. reactive when faced with challenging situations. Take a deep, thoughtful breath before you speak. 

o   Nourish Yourself. One is what they eat, so make healthy choices. Try to avoid processed foods. Can you avoid sugar for a whole week? 

o   Hydrate. Grab a glass and take a sip of water. Did you know that more than 1/2 of our body is made up of water? The water inside of us helps us to keep everything vital and functioning. It increases energy, relieves fatigue, flushes out toxins and boosts the immune system. Plus, it puts you in a good mood so drink up!

Please remember to care for yourself in this time of crisis.