#“bc you wouldn't accept it” thats not GOOD ENOUGH!!!

[valley-of-the-lost]

its been months and I'm still not over what a shitshow episode 16 is.

how do you mess up a classic betrayal/miscommunication plot so badly the male lead comes out the other side looking like a worse person.

[choccy-milky]

I know there's some parts of your fanfiction where Clora has some passing feelings of jealousy because of a comment or two made by background characters towards Sebastian, but I was wondering how you think Clora and Sebastian would genuinely react to a situation where someone was actively trying to pursue him? I was just curious since the raven and the snake have a good bit of people chasing after Clora and Sebastian being jealous (cough physically violent cough)

BAHAHA seb doesnt get physically violent when he gets jealous, he just gets irritated and petty LOL. gotta defend my boi for a sec, hes only gotten physically violent twice, and once was when clora was being blackmailed/SA'd, and the other was when he was corrupted by the relic, so it wasnt REALLYYYY him.

BUT to answer the question, this is what happens when clora gets jealous LOOL basically its: she gets jealous > knows that its unfounded and seb wouldn't reciprocate, so she keeps her feelings to herself > but still cant help but feel down about it > seb catches on and makes sure to reassure her. and seb would 1000% be willing to just never talk to the other girl ever again if thats what it took BAHAHA but obvs clora would reject that and tell him thats way too extreme. and altho seb thinks its cute when cloras jealous, he also doesnt like making her feel that way, since he considers it a sort of failure on his part (like, if ur feeling jealous, it means im not proving that i love you enough LMAO) whereas for when seb gets jealous, its: he gets jealous > tells clora of his suspicions / that the dude is trying to get with her > clora tries to reassure him that its nothing, and that its all just platonic (bc it IS from her POV, whether the dude actually likes her or not, bc shes naive af) > seb has no choice but to put up with it LOL bc he's self-aware and knows he gets jealous easily, and accepts that he might be overreacting, but he'll still keep an eye on it regardless. he trusts clora but he doesnt trust the guys, and unlike seb, clora wouldnt stop talking to someone she considered a friend just bc seb THINKS they like her. unless the dude is straight up asking her out/being super bold and obvious about it, clora would just default to 'oh hes just being friendly😇 LMAO. basically seb is too jealous and clora is too naive and they both know this about themselves and each other, so they kinda have to meet in the middle on these things HAHA. for seb its like yeah fine, i might think every guy has nefarious intentions, but YOU also think every guy is completely pure and has absolutely NO romantic intentions ever LOL. but they know this so it works out LMAO (plus even if it is slightly infuriating for each other at times, seb still finds cloras naivety/innocence endearing, and clora also finds sebs possessiveness/jealousy endearing as well🥰) also unrelated but i finally changed my pfp after a year and its cracking me up. that is all

[leigh-kay]

hey!! im a little unsure if your inbox is still open, but i was wondering if i could request a tyler galpin x fem!reader smut? i’ve already read my way through all of the ones on here and there aren’t enough 😭 anything with dom tyler would be great, but mean!dom tyler would be awesome :) maybe with a sir/master kink (i j know he likes being called that), edging/overstim and choking? maybe even dracaphyllia? (this is my first time requesting anything, so im sorry if i did smth wrong!!) -🫧 anon

ask and you shall recieve 🤗

(honored to be ur first request btw like omg, i hope its all you wanted)

lets get to it, shall we?

Take it to The Limit || Tyler Galpin

Tyler has demons and rather than kill people, hes a mean dom in bed bc it takes the edge off and is much more socially acceptable.

warnings// smut ofc, overstim, choking, dacryphilia, sir kink, mean!dom! tyler (a fav of mine), rough sex, p in v, no protection bc this is fictional, but all you horny kids better wrap before you tap in this fucking economy

His tongue was on her again, dragging up and down her slit, making her squirm and whine. He'd brought her so close three freaking times and for whatever reason, wouldn't let her cum.

"Please sir, I've-" a scream escaped her as he sucked on her clit, sending her eyes to the back of her head.

God he was good at that.

"I've been so good!"

She could feel his laugh against her core as he fucked his tongue into her.

"But you're so pretty when you cry for me," he mocked, turning his attention to sucking marks into her thighs.

Running his tongue along the bruises he leaves behind before sinking his teeth into the skin. Just enough to break the top layer of skin. To make her yelp at the pain and let the tears pooling in her eyes from the overstimulation fall.

He worked at her core with his fingers, dragging slow over her slit, refusing to slip them in as she bucked against him, desperate.

A smack landed over a patch of marks he'd left on her thigh, "Stay fucking still."

She whimpered, writhing against her own better judgement as she tried to think up ways to make him end this torment.

It hurt so bad. She just wanted to cum, to feel him fuck into her until she lost it. She wanted to feel the way he filled her so full she couldn't think straight.

"Did i not tell you to not move?" he asked calmly, nothing like the thoughts undoubtedly behind those brown eyes of his.

"I'm so sorry," the tears welled up even higher against her eyes, "I didn't mean it sir," she began to sob.

"What is it? Hm? You wanna be fucked?" he spoke firm, like he was making fun of her.

He was always so condescending.

"Yeah? You wanna cum? Let me fuck you until the only thing you know is my name? Of course thats what you want. Always such a slut for my cock hm?"

She nodded quickly, "Please sir, I'll do anything, please just use me?"

"You can beg better than that baby," goddamn that glint in his eyes.

"Please! Use me. I want you to fuck me so hard I feel it for days. I wanna feel you cum inside me, please sir, I need it."

He smiled, oh so sinister as he adjusted between her legs, taking a few short strokes at his cock. It was a deep red and the tip was coated in precum.

He'd been ready for a while and yet he made her wait all this time! She was going to strangle him when he wasnt towering over her naked body, looking like a fucking God with his dick inches from her entrance.

As he leaned over her, his fingers locked around her throat, using it as leverage as he thrust into her quickly.

He left no time for adjustment as he pounded into her. The noises he made as he fucked into her sent her mind into a frenzy.

All her thoughts consisted of were his name.

"Such a whore under me, yeah baby? Taking me like you were fucking made for it."

She felt the ache rise in her belly as he tightened his grip on her throat, leaning closer to her ear.

"I can feel you clenching down on me, so close already?"

She nodded, moaning as she arched into his chest, legs shaking as her orgasm grew closer.

She grabbed at his shoulders as he pushed against a place deep inside of her, sending her head flying into the pillows.

He grinned, hitting the same spot again and again until she screamed out, body writhing under him as he sank his teeth into her shoulder.

His own orgasm chasing him faster than he'd anticipated.

"Such a perfect slut for me, fuck," he groaned.

"Please sir, I need you to cum inside me," she begged, desperate for his release.

His head fell back, pace not letting up as he came into her, pressing a messed kiss to her open mouth.

She fought a smile as he pulled out of her before taking her hand in his, "Fuck, are you okay?"

She nodded, silent.

"Words."

"I'm okay."

"Nothing was too much?" He held concern in his eyes.

"Well. I hurt. A lot. But that was the best orgasm of my life."

"Oh? So I've gotta keep outdoing myself then?"he smiled, his once dark expressions shifting to lighter, playful ones.

"If you ever tease me that much again, I'll leave your ass."

He nuzzled into her neck, rubbing soothing circles along her stomach, "Noted."

[rayroseu]

actually all this talk about sebek or silver fighting against malleus makes me sad akdhkhwod because if you think about it its the very thing that lilia was trying to avoid happening... a conflict between faes and human yk 😭

on another thought, i cant entirely blame malleus, the reason for his overblot is an effect of how dark faes are treated by the other species, feared, excluded, and labelled as strange and too powerful to be even considered as equals/be treated normally.

i think its ironic that the person who should've embraced that reputation is their ruler but he's the first one to feel that it isnt right, i think its been implied by now that human morals like shouldn't be applicable to faes as they have vastly different morals but when consider malleus, hes actually alot more humane based on his what he wishes (a friend, to be invited, have fun) but ig thats what sets him and meleanor apart....

sebeks personality says enough about how dark faes naturally think of themselves: because theyre so powerful and superior, its natural for them to be alone, but all that power leads to loneliness... as what was implied in Book 7.1 where Yuu asks Malleus if the Thorn Fairy (or rather Malleus) was lonely after years of exclusion...

also i want book 7 to reveal why levan, an assumedly dark fae, was desperately trying to make peace between humans and faes, even at the cost of (accidentally) endangering briar land--- (i think briar land lost at the human fae war bcs theyve weakened their defenses against silver owls😭)

maybe Levan's mission isnt just a general "faes and humans should get along"--- as we know, faes and humans DO get along but its only the "light faes" that humans accept (i.e knight of dawn and the 3 good fairies), but their treatment and view with the dark faes is that theyre villainous and should be defeated bcs apparently they're terrifying (implied in lilia's dream)

(even though silver owls was the first to offend them kshdkwj i truly think there was a time that silver owls and briar were "at peace," as henry says he first met meleanor and saw princess glow during a visit (?) at meleanor's castle)

so maybe Levan's actual mission isnt "humans and faes should get along" but rather "for dark faes to be accepted and treated kindly",

plus its makes more sense to center his ideals on dark faes- as we know that Meleanor hates humans and he's her wife so---for now, i dont think she'll approve of a plan that "caters to humans" but she could consider a plan that could give "dark faes more acceptance to the world" so they could be safe

idk where this word vomit is going lol this is just a simple interpretation but i think its just saddening that dark faes are making an effort in understanding humans yet the humans barely make effort to understand faes,,,

there are exceptions like silver and yuu, yet whenever they express their thoughts to others that (their) dark faes are "kind", they get shrugged off 💀💀💀

but ig the conflict never ends until one makes amends lol (sobbing about what mrs zigvolt and lilia endured just to believe in their dream that humans and dark faes can love one another djkdj)

(((i was just wishing twst wouldn't go all out in writing malleus as the “evil overblot villain that must eradicated” then boom a little essay about the profound relationship between dark faes vs other species lol (its the malleus apologist in me guys😭😭)))

[ravenbloodshot]

Would &team members seriously date a foreigner...

EJ: This is something he's thought about already (idk if he was looking at a foreigner with googly eyes and all the possibilities went through his mind). But he has a calm and chill aura mixed in with a bit of chaos. During those moments when he's in his calm spell, he wants someone more familiar but in his chaotic spells he wants change and someone new that can shake his world up. He's also the type to date a foreigner just to spite his parents (only bc he doesn't like to be put in a box or have conservative views pushed onto him). So, it's a yes, he would if he was in one of his chaotic spells( but he does judge people by their heart so your race wouldn't matter to him)

Fuma: Yes, he would. Has a child like energy of being accepting of others and open to adventure and change by being with someone of a different background than him. Whoever his partner is would be treated the same as if they were Japanese (for good or bad) and although he would be worried about the future, his excitement when starting anything new would override his concerns (only problem is he could go into relationships too optimistic or too given and be taken advantage of). Also, he's big on marriage so like I said above, he would treat his lover of a different culture the same as he would if she was Japanese

K: No. He's too worried about himself to even consider whether he would date a foreigner, a Japanese, a Korean ....whatever he doesn't care. He's not worried about his love life or his emotions rn, he could be neglecting his emotional side and being very closed off to anything new romantically (anybody going after him would be swiftly rejected). I will say that he's quite young but he's not experiencing his youth to the fullest(has the energy of an older man), too much investing in the future to worry about the present. This mindset could fuck him over so I hope he finds some balance

Nicholas: Yep, he would and already has. But these foreigners have to go after him, he's not confident enough to go after them (he himself has a feminine energy, so he may need a more alpha fem in a relationship). He has some insecurities as well, so he could overthink himself out of a possible relationship but I do see some flirting/dating when it comes to foreigners. He likes more dominant and direct partners and I believe he's seen more of that from foreign women so he's down for anything/anyone

Yuma: He would date a foreigner. He's a bit intimidated and overawed by foreigners but it's not exactly an uncomfortable feeling of being intimidated (it's like in the fanfics or wattpad stories when the girl gets turned on by a cold and lowkey mean man). He could be another guy that likes the alpha fems that can be dominant and a little aggressive. (I'm also seeing that Yuma may think foreign women have different body shapes then maybe in his own country so thats appealing/enticing to him). But he's open to being with a foreigner marriage wise and one night stand wise

JO: Yes. He has a chill and open minded view when it comes to this topic, he's ready for any new and real love that comes his way (very romantic and dreamy guy, I guess it's cancer tings). He does keep a mature view still by staying alert for red flags in a partner but other than that if your providing him a once in a lifetime love, he'll welcome you with open arms

(Surprisingly, all these guys were cool with dating a foreigner nobody really was put off by the idea and some actively seek to date foreigners)

I left out 3 members

Ranking for most to least likely:

1. Nicholas

2. JO

3. Fuma

4. Yuma

5. EJ

6. K

[chanafehs]

im in love with your hawke and the way you stylize her 😭 can i ask abt hasna's (was that her name?) decisions and relationship with the cast, as a friend/lover/rival and big sis :3 da2 is very companion/approval-disapproval heavy game so i got really curious about that. Because learning these makes you learn about the character

(i hope you'd feel safe answering this tho because from what I've seen you don't mind having thoughts straying from fandom's most popular takes, and DA ain't really the best fandom, but we're in veilguard era rn so who cares lol)

Thank you!! Hasna is my little morally dubious almost 7ft tall lesbian blood mage. She has good intentions at her core and is very self-sacrificing but her execution is extremely poor. I'll put it under the read-more because this is just a block of text

I usually don't have the chance to flesh her out a lot because most of my brain rot fixates on Asma but she is very special to me. As for relationships, Hasna is either an opposites attract or is just looking for validation for her beliefs. She has a lot in common with characters like Sebastian and Fenris - I don't know if I ever stated it before but Hasna is a devout Andrastian - and she has very critical views of her fellow mages, who she believes she is above.

Magic cannot be made safe, so it must be controlled, and she represents that control: She doesn't falter; she is a perfectionist, a believer, a patron of the templar order, and Kirkwall's savior. In her own way, her body and mind are her circle.

It's why she is constantly at odds with Anders, who represents everything her personal ideology is against. He is the embodiment of a mage's lack of control and the exact idea that Hasna has spent her life fighting against, which makes it all the more infuriating to her when she sees what he does to the Chantry in the final act of the game. She spent ten years of her life proving to others that Mages can control their magic and fit into society just as she had for some guy from the sewers to ruin it in ten seconds.

I think my favorite aspect about her is that she is a hypocrite and projects a lot of her insecurities on others, especially when it comes to control. She easily resorts to blood magic because she doesn't think she is strong enough - could always be stronger - in battle, but will criticize other mages resorting to it out of fear. Her reasonings are righteous, theirs are weak, etc etc.

I think she has a really interesting relationship with Isabela because while their views on life are completely different, Hasna views Isabela as almost what she wishes she could be. She wishes Isabela's life was her life. Uncaring, free, laidback, just nothing but the ocean ahead of you - Hasna lives almost vicariously through her and experiences Isabela's happiness as if it were her own. Isabela is the only one who knows about her blood magic because she's the only one who wouldn't hold it against her, Merrill would point out her hypocrisy and Varric would view her differently, Isabela just accepts it. Hasna is the one who actually pushes Carver to join the Templar order in the beginning, as she believes it is a way she can still protect and watch over him while being entrenched in Templar politics.

Thats a brief Hasna summary! definitely not the standard Hawke lmaooo I used to care about the Dragon Age fandom takes but I cannot do it anymore bc 1) this fandom is extremely preformative and values pixel wizard discourse over everything 2) it is very boring to have the same perfect angel characters three times in a row I love giving them flaws and making them more like real complex people

Thank you!

[neechees]

Just regularly scheduled whining about my sister who's a shit mom

My sister is such a hypocrite. Whatever she uses to justify as "acceptable" reasons for ditching her kids with other people is somehow not acceptable when her babysitters use the same reasons for wanting to give the kids back to her.

She once fucked up my plans because she left her kids with me & ghosted me, & her excuse was "why didn't you just take them with you?" When her excuse for needing a babysitter that day was that she had plans (like... why didn't you take YOUR OWN KIDS with YOU?). my mom tried to give them to her yesterday bc I was sick & couldn't help & she wouldn't take them, and her excuse for why she still wouldn't take them today as planned was that she's apparently sick, so she thinks her babysitters should still watch her kids even if they're sick, but she, their mother, doesn't have to.

She keeps telling my mom that she's "not ready to be a mother" (4 years after having a kid & then having a second one), and that's her reasoning for why we should take them, but IM not ready to be a mother either (thats why i havent had any), but she's fine with forcing her kids on me. She constantly complains about being stressed despite my mom also having the same job, so HER stress is a good enough reason to not watch her own children, but it's not a good reason for US to not want to take them. She will frequently give them to us when her kids are misbehaving and having tantrums, but we're not allowed to give them back to her if theyre misbehaving for us.

[streamdotpng]

I'm kinda surprised that no one's asked much about the motherfucker au. There's no official name for this au so I'll just keep calling it that. It's kind of a long one, but i really like the premise of it. How long after first sleeping with each other does wenclair start seriously dating? What kinda pushes them in the right direction? Is it Wednesday's jealousy/possessiveness that wants Enid to be all hers, especially after getting divorced and realizing that she can't let this one, this special good kind and loving someone slip through her fingers? Is it enid who finds herself imagining being a family with wednesday and the kids? Does enid sometimes stay over at Wednesday's place and wake up early to make them breakfast, including belle and oleander? Does Wednesday visit enid during her lunch break because she misses her and just wants to spend some time together? The kids would be apprehensive about the relationship at first, but after seeing how happy their mom is, would they be more open to accepting that enid may eventually join their little family? Enid would never try to force herself on them but once they were open to it, how would she bond with the kids? Does Wednesday's heart skip a beat when she notices Enid is trying to be involved with and genuinely cares about her children rather than dismiss them like most people would?

the motherfucker au is just crack mate, so idk what to tell you 😭

honestly, it takes like a week of regular sleeping together before wenclair was like "i like this intimacy, i like you, lets make this something more" and wabam, now they're dating and keeping their hands off each other to truly enjoy each other's company outside of the bed

enid was the one who made the first move because damn, wednesday is gorgeous and waking up with her is definitely something the professor would enjoy more if it lasted for longer than a day

i dont think wednesday would be jealous bc professor enid is lowkey tired and stressed to even dress well -idt she has enough effort to even date other people too, so its definitely more on how wednesday doesn't want to waste this opportunity to be treated right

enid doesn't know what to do with kids but honestly, the lil shits are growing on her. Sure they're troublemakers in a way that they disrupt the class and dont pass shit on time but she genuinely enjoys helping people out and while they're bastards (affectionate) she doesn't mind teaching them outside of class hours

so yes, during weekends when the relationships get alot more serious, enid pops in at wednesday's house with breakfast. The mother will stare at the extra food and not ask, its pretty obvious who it is for tho.

The children will skip down the stairs long since enid is gone and enjoy the food, wondering where its from. It never fails to make wednesday smile against her drink when she mentions that its from her girlfriend

"GIRLFRIEND?" they'd shout and so they get overprotective. "are you sure!? what if she takes advantage of you??" think of this as pre reveal, so they definitely don't know that its their teacher

wednesday definitely visits enid at work one day and it makes the children damn distraught because their teacher is dating their mother.. omygod, does that mean they have to play nice now?? oh dear log, why?!

but yeah belladonna warms up to enid pretty easily but oleander is ready to be a passive aggressive son because his donor didn't treat his mother right, who's to say enid wouldn't be the same? cliche son stepping in to be the man in the house bc his dad couldn't do it etc etc

its alright tho, they all warm up to each other eventually and enid knows that this is an awkward situation over all so she keeps her distance to make sure they aren't uncomfy. She will show that she cares though, but thats just because thats how she is as a person

wednesday takes that pretty well (she's screaming without the s)

[sapphic-sex-ed]

I know this is just a me problem & I need to just suck it up and deal with it but I feel... incredibly guilty about not wanting to have sex with my friends. For one, I've never had a friend actually want to engage in that with me so a part of it might be me feeling bad about "not being good enough", but another part of me feels like the queer community is advancing to new places that gives them more joy, freedom, and love and it feels like since the topic is so triggering to me (for no good reason mind you) that I just don't really belong? I haven't been able to talk to other queer people or go to pride events because I'm in such a small, homophobic town. But I feel like if I showed up to a queer event, I just wouldn't fit in and they just would not like me. Not only for looking overly masculine and kinda yucky (not in way thats celebrated in the queer community) after my transition, but because the accomodations I would need for my triggers would just be too unrealistic to expect them to accomodate to (I've been in therapy for nearly 10 yrs, unfortunately some triggers just dont go away). And also bc I'm a sapphic trans guy and ,, man idk if that would piss people off.

I just want to ask, is it okay if I still view sex as sacred for myself but don't think poorly of people who have casual sex or sex with friends? If anything, I'm envious of them for being able to have such a connection to their friends that I would never be comfortable having.

I’m glad to hear you’re seeing a therapist, it’s very clear from your ask that you’re struggling with very low self-worth and I’ve been there and it sucks.

As for your question itself — sex positivity and sex acceptance are about finding a sexuality that feels good for you and don’t shame those whose sexuality feels good to them but isn’t the same as yours. If sex is something sacred to you that is for you alone or only to share with a select few then that is always valid as long as it feels good to you. At the same time, having sex with friends and having multiple partners is just as valid as long as it’s what the people practicing it wants. Neither one has the right to shame or devalue the other.

I notice a pattern in your ask, where you make claims about how you feel people will respond to you. This is a normal thing our human brains do, but this anxiety seems to be preventing you from going out and trying. You think but you do not know that people wouldn’t accept you. Thou think but you do not know that you wouldn’t fit in. Internet queer discourse is poison basically and people in the irl communities are usually a lot more accepting. Online we kinda forget that we’re interacting with other people, but irl we can’t do that as easily (although dehumanization of minorities is a thing, so not impossible but it takes a lot more organized, structural effort). In Swedish we have this expression “provtänka” which roughly translates to “try-thinking” or “attempting-think” where we sort of say a thought we had to other people, usually friends, to try it out. It can be something beneficial like “wait isn’t it strange that inflation is up 4% but benefits have only increased by 2,6%?” and then we can all curse capitalism together. But it can also be (and this is a real example of a thing I said when I was 16) “there are so many bad parents like shouldn’t the government like make you take tests and and out a license for you to reproduce so no children get harmed” and your friends will rightfully go “no wtf??? That’s such an over-reach of government power what are you on???”. Like you try out a thought that you haven’t thought about that much or aren’t that invested in and you do a vibe check basically. Like that pregnancy thought was whack but I hadn’t really thought about it. Luckily my friends were reasonable people who asked what tf was wrong with me and explained why that was a horrible thing and I haven’t thought that way since. Online, you sorta either get jumped which has the effect of you doubling down on your not even fully formed opinion bc you get defensive, or you find other whack jobs who agree and that’s how radicalization happens.

So to the point bc I lost it bc that who I am as a person: people are a lot more forgiving offline and if someone has doubts initially, they’re less likely to voice them, and if they do they’re likely to get checked, and if they don’t just spending time with you will humanize you (which is why people from bigger cities are usually more open-minded, bc exposure to people different than them).

And a last point to wrap up: you write that you’re “envious of them for being able to have such a connection to their friends that I would never be comfortable having”. Relationships aren’t a hierarchy. Romantic relationships aren’t superior to friendships, and sex with friends isn’t superior to hook-ups or long-term partners, and partnered sex isn’t superior to solo sex. They’re different flavors and not everyone will like the same thing. I can’t stand olives but I love pineapple on pizza. I once dated a girl who despised potatoes. Neither is better than the other. I can’t really understand why she would hate potatoes and most people I believe find it strange, but like that’s just her preference. And I know many people find me strange for my choices in pizza toppings (pineapple, banana and curry).

That is to say: it sucks when you feel left out of some type of relationship you’ll never have — I’m an only child hand have always been envious of people with siblings — but that doesn’t mean that type is “better” or that that type of connection is “deeper” than what’s possible within the types of relationships that would fit you.

-mod liz

[rikebe]

hii if you're still accepting asks about the akihiro x bobby ship meme, could you explain in detail the trust/jealousy/etc scales? also is bobby canonically 5'4" bc 😳❤

I WISH BOBBY WAS THAT SHORT IN CANON </3 unfortunately that's just my hc bc i'm so much smarter and chaddier than all of marvel :/

BUT here's the scales!

bobby:

trust: i def see bobby as having a bit of a cynical streak, so i think he takes a while to warm up to trusting. he has a way of internalizing shit and overthinking and is very neurotic, and i think he can absolutely overthink himself into mistrusting his partner on a wrong day even if he knows he's being irrational :(

jealousy: pretty much the same thing, plus i think growing up as the baby-faced dweeby kid of the x-men doesn't really give you a huge amount of self-confidence. i think he can really struggle w seeing himself as like, hot enough or good enough and project that on other people through jealousy, especially if he has such an objectively sexy partner as akihiro. again i think this is something where he'd KNOW he's being unreasonable but he can't help feeling that way

horny: LISTEN. YES he dresses like the assistant manager of a gamestop. YES he's a boring account. but i know. when i look into that unassuming, boring little face of him i know he's a horndog. if he wasn't he wouldn't have fucking bothered with the little song and dance akihiro and him have, because let's be real, akihiro's a pretty big shithead to him consistently and still bobby's like teehee! let's waltz! teehee! oh no let me kiss that death seed away teehee! that's classic horny for villain behavior. you can't hide behind those cargo shorts, bobby drake. i know what you are.

clingy: to me he's a pretty big relationship guy and is really attached to his partner, which is great if you're on mutual terms but i think can come off as pretty clingy if the other guy's looking for something a little more casual lol. def the type to keep texting a few times after getting ghosted before he gets the hint. oops

akihiro:

trust: BIG HUGE MAJOR trust issues. this guy spent his entire adult life seeing interpersonal relationships as entirely transactional and only started getting into this "unconditional love and trust" shit like five years ago. it's a learning curve. he's the guy in a sitcom who thinks their partner is cheating and starts stalking them

jealousy: see trust. same thing. if some guy is talking to bobby at a bar akihiro WILL stand menacingly close by and then be really annoying about mentioning that thats his BOYFRIEND and they're DATING. the guy asked bobby for the time

horny: controversial BUT: i don't think akihiro is very horny. he's been shown since his first appearance to be very liberal about sex, but in almost all instances these interactions are about control and power. akihiro uses his inherent appeal and other people's attraction to him to get what he wants in his never-ending ploy for power and evil-doing. to him, sex is transactional, it's just something he does just like he lies and pretends to be something he's not. ive seen some interpretations of him as asexual, which i think is really interesting and cool and a great take! i don't know where exactly on that spectrum i see him, i think he does enjoy sex but it would be a really different thing for him to sleep with someone he actually cares about, to the point where i could see it causing whiplash when he's being shy about it all of a sudden :')

clingy: i put him pretty high on the "needs attention" scale which i explained in another post, but i don't really see him being all that clingy. i think i might have coloured it in a little high here even since i think it's a hard thing to define, but basically i think that IN a relationship he would be a little clingy and want to be around his partner a lot, once he gets to a point where he can comfortably express those feelings, but he would never run after someone or try to cling to a partner that's dumped him. he thinks too highly of himself to debase himself by showing that he cares about another human being. this is about SAVING FACE, damn it

[alybur635]

more nejinaru brainrot

1-not sure about this headcanon something i randomly saw on another headcanon post but do you think neji would give good massages. Him offering naruto one something like that wonder if he would use his byakugan to see which spots are the most sore idk. Not sure if it works like that i would assume so maybe not.

2-in the process of this fic idea haven't decided which but more leaning towards naruto instead of neji. Naruto taking neji somewhere during the night time where there are lots of fireflies in like a grass/meadowy area. And they just enjoy the night together holding each other (gushing while writing this.)

3-I feel like neji would find forehead kisses intimate or special especially could see naruto kissing his cure mark makes him feel accepted. So i often see neji giving him a smooch too given the chance. Also think he likes touching foreheads with naruto when cuddling or something

4-Don't think neji would be super physically affectionate but i kinda see him being touch starved a little. Like he just likes holding naruto's hand giving him a hug leaning on him caressing him or he just lets naruto bombarded him but is flustered not used to it yet. Running his hands through his hair when he's reading.

thats all i think of for now :3

Hmm, I mean I can see how that could be something that would occur. But I dunno if Naruto would really be able to hold still long enough for smth like that or rlly see Neji wanting to do so? That's just me tho but I can lowk see this.

extends hand gimme the fic NEOW because that sounds like SUCH an idea and very nejinaru!!! Naruto taking Neji to watch fireflies bc him being left to care for himself means surely he knows of all the good relaxing spots (also I'm not immune to firefly scenes, Neji just being,,, enamored by the little fireflies and Naruto internally gushing about how peaceful n pretty his bf looks,,,)

I've drawn a forehead kiss with them once because you CANNOT TELL ME Neji wouldn't find such a thing endearing. You could put SO much meaning into such a gesture, especially considering what the curse mark is supposed to symbolize. And for Naruto to kiss him there?? Pls.

This is literally my vision. Both of them a lil touch starved (partially due to how alone they've been) and Neji being the one to get flustered with PDA but yet,,, cannot (and does not really want to) stop Naruto from just BOMBARDING him with affection. Physical affection is something Neji definitely has to get used to, but internally he does like it, it's very reassuring that he's loved. I do think Neji does get a little better at initiating contact, he for sure does let himself lean on Naruto when they're alone together,,,

[spongeofaces]

hi!! if possible i'd love to get a romantic matchup >< (sorry for being anon, i know its not preferred for you but i feel a bit more comfy this way if thats okay!!) ALSO WARNING i'm going to yap a ton here.

first things first, you can call me yun if you must !! i'm an enfj in terms of mbti BUT i find myself to be somewhat of an ambivert! my friends describe me as super quiet at first but the more i get to know someone the louder i become, and i get a lot more open! i personally really love hanging out with my friends but sometimes i just get drained so .. but otherwise hm i feel like with people who i'm closer with i'll probably be more blunt n banter with them more but again i walk on eggshells more with people im not familiar with. i love reading, art, nd trying new hobbies, right now i lovee crochet and crafts!

in terms of what i want in a partner, maybe someone who i can be truly comfortable around. someone who doesn't care about the way i act with them, and also someone who i'd be able to treat as a friend too, like being able to banter with them and not having to show them my best self and knowing they'll still love me for that! but through that also the small romantic things that scream "you're my partner" — also a bit like leona i've something with wanting to be someone's first choice and while thats not a trait persay do with that info what you will! i'd love someone who wouldn't mind me being clingy even if i'll do my own thing at times! and someone who wouldn't mind me being vulnerable, even if they can't give good advice they can just listen.

for traits — as long as they treat me well i guess, and honesty too. i don't need someone whose live revolves around me but also not someone who's distant from me 24/7.. a nice balance in between you know! like i said, small acts are cute to me too. i think bantering is cute in relationships but ofc not too much just! also i find possessiveness cute to some extent.. something i just don't like at all is dishonesty but oh well. someone who is the personification of the lyric "i know he did you wrong but we're not all bad" im a sucker for that (this isnt needed im just yapping)

my love languages are quality time, physical touch and gift giving! i'm not one to initiate physical touch but i do really like it. i am shamelessly touch starved and so i require someone who would enjoy things like cuddles (im a shameless little spoon too btw) but ofc we can work our way up to it im bad with words so gifts are the way to go.. defs related to my hobbies like annotated books if they like reading or just crochet stuff bc..

ofc spending time with them is super super important to me but as i said not 24/7 BUT also there are exceptions it depends i just like someone who can stay by my side and make me feel loved

i think i'm yapping too much so lastly maybe none of the first years because i see them all as platonic bffs ☆ and no teachers just in case

SOOOOO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG!! I hope the end result is okay 🙇‍♀️

---

I match Yun with...

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto 🐙

-:-:-:-

He may attempt to suggest otherwise, but this man is a hopeless romantic. Azul can be both confident and completely awkward in a relationship, not prepared to open up immediately, but not planning to lie either. It may take some coaxing, but the more time he spends with you, the more willing he becomes, even feeling safe enough to admit his insecurities and doubts. Azul is very, very nervous admitting it, but he doesn't want to keep things from you. As much as he wishes he wasn't, Azul is afraid that if you see anything but his best, you'll think less of him. But, you don't, which only makes him love you all the more.

It'll take a lot of time for Azul to gain enough confidence to ask for contact, but if you ever accept, he's going to be the hugger of huggers. He'll start small. Oh, you're sitting on the couch? Well, maybe he'll put an arm around your shoulder. Feeling sick so you've got to lie down? He could subtly shuffle over to crouch beside you and hold your hand. Only to keep you company, not because he wants to... is what he tries to tell himself. Eventually, Azul will get more bold and less ashamed with his actions, just popping over whenever he feels the need for the comfort of your touch. He'll back off if you tell him he's being too much, so just be honest with your boundaries.

Very willing to banter. He'll go back and forth with you for hours if you let him. He finds it incredibly entertaining. Sometimes you might catch Jade listening in from across the room; hopefully not for blackmail purposes.

As soon as he finishes classes and his work at the Mostro Lounge, he seeks you out; whether to take you out on a date, to help you with schoolwork, or just to be by your side. Azul wants to spend as much time with you as he can, while you'll have him.

If you give him a lil crochet octopus, he may just die on the spot. It'll be sitting on his desk 24/7 - along with any other gifts you make for or give to him.

You'll find yourself being treated to delicious dishes constantly. He won't admit he's doing it for your sake, he'll just lie and say that he's trying to test whether the dish is good enough to be added to the lounge's menu by watching your facial expressions as you eat it. Any positive feedback will be met with a flush and him trying to subtly hide his face behind his sleeve.

He'll always make time for you, even on his busiest days. He's ready to listen fully to whatever you have to say, or rant about. Azul doesn't care if you stumbling around the words, or can't quite get the right meaning across, he'll patiently wait until you've said your piece.

Extra tidbits:

MBTI Compatibility - Snippet taken from www.crystalknows.com:

ENTJs are likely to trust ENFJs who express themselves directly; ENTJs appreciate it when ENFJs participate in discussion or share ideas with them. ENFJs tend to trust ENTJs who try to build meaningful, personal connections with them; ENFJs will feel connected to ENTJs who are considerate and compassionate.

When did he start liking you? After his overblot, when the two of you were talking in the museum. He found the way you smiled endearing, although it wasn't until much later (and numerous occasions of teasing from the tweels) that he figured out why.

How'd you two get together? It was abrupt. Floyd was in a bad mood one day and he got sick of watching Azul pine after you. Like, just grow a spine and confess already? Jeez... So, as Floyd's unpredictable self does, he grabbed Azul by the collar, dragged him across the courtyard to your side, confessed for him, and walked off grumbling, leaving behind a very, very, flustered and indignant Azul. This was not how he planned to ask you out!! His heart is absolutely pounding. Oh, by the seven, how embarrassing... Floyd is definitely gonna pay for that later. (Floyd, in fact, did not pay for that later, because you accepted. Azul almost fainted, ngl)

A song for the relationship:

I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend by Hot Freaks.

Other options: Lilia and Cater.

[seelestia]

OMG THE NEW NAVIA THEME IS SO CUTE??? i think it's safe to say that you definitely cooked, lia hehe >:3 /lh /gen

anyways! that's pretty much what it is when it comes to college and frankly? i just wanna get it over with like literally the only highlight to it is seeing my friends and spending time with my boyfriend 😭 but!! a social science major sounds cool! i'd say you have some pretty good goals set in mind and you can always take up a minor if you want to pursue the others :> (i did consider having music as a minor) and sure! the courses depend on what you pick really and the college/professor, online is just about the same as in-person if you have a lot of reading on a pc to do tbh. english classes are well. kind of like the ones in high school but college-leveled. just make sure you give yourself enough time to do assignments bc they can be painful :"D

HELP LMAO??? okay that's true though, the fontaine quest definitely made a splash and we really had to dip our toes in the water with it huh? anyway thats kind of the thing, the only similarity between bedo and lyney is that they actively flirt with me in their own way, and its funny bc i usually try to find someone whose personality complements mine bc im generally the quieter one compared to both (ah yes a reality tv show for me HJEKAHD) also yea! i think both of them really do have traits that make them stand out and frankly i wish they got more screentime (also i have yet to watch the 4.6 trailer ehehe)

same here to you!! i'm always happy to rattle off of your hcs and i enjoy talking about our selfships as well hehe (*^ω^*) and i love it when bedo calls me his "sweet violet",,like the way he says it is just so endearing? like the pitch of his voice always becomes softer and more affectionate jsjdksndj (yk its funny, my boyfriend does the same thing with me bc his nicknames are unique to me as well)

also i'm throwing another ramble at ya: imagine wanderer or ayato surprising you with breakfast in bed HEHEHEHE

awh thats oki! like i said, i'm always happy to indulge your selfships since i enjoy hearing about them :> /gen. honestly i wouldn't be surprised if wanderer did knock you softly on the head for thinking the flowers were from yato ajjdkshd (nah just put the hairpin in before he gets a chance /hj /lh) also i forgot to tell u im a sucker for floriography so i methinks wanderer could give you camellias which represent everlasting love. the hairpin ayato gives you is unique in design and had it specially made for you alone :3

and i quote from my irl friend: "bouncing off the walls gf x completely stoic unmoving statue bf" HDJAKDHSJ NOT ONLY THAT SHE COMPARED HIM TO A PIECE OF FURNITURE BC OF HOW STIFF HE IS IN PICTURES (but hey i give him credit for a cute smile <3) and he is very much a pretty boy even though he tries to deny it until i accept that he calls me pretty too BUT YEA QUITE LITERALLY OPPOSITES ATTRACT anyway pretty much, not all relationships are like yk. sunshine and rainbows so thats why i feel very grateful to have a healthy one. if anything, we're just both trying to do our best to make one another happy but thankies hehe (also nw! i dont think u sound like a grandma, i just like hearing u ramble ehhehe)

also im not rlly sure why ppl think 20 is old either like dang, sure my back hurts on occasion but i'm not a fossil 😭

AHHH THANK U, VI!! so it seems you agree that i... baked? :3c /lh HAHAHA navia is so sweet and silly. i just have to make her my theme! (++ as a homage to her for carrying me in spiral abyss 🫣) since i do put in effort whenever i do theme changes, it makes me happy to know others like it <3

i'll have you know that i'm a true enabler of dad jokes & puns. throw 'em at me! which reminds me: how does albedo react to your jokes? for me, ayato just thinks it's funny that i find them funny (he pats me on the head afterwards - A+ for effort). wanderer is just the epitome of unimpressed and sometimes, he'd even pull on my cheek a little if the joke is extremely unfunny LOLLL. the only one who'd ever indulge me is mr. shikanoin heizou ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡) oh, woe is me!!! /lh

i see! ty for the perspective, vi <3 i'm gonna find it nostalgic to look back on this convo after i went to college. tho assignments really are a staple of uni life, huh? one of the times i thank highschool for instilling the habit of “work first, play later” in me. i imagine it's gonna be more painful however so i'll need to juggle rest & work 😭 hope you're holding up with yours!! <3

THAT'S CUTE!! i find it so funny that albedo himself is the paradigm for introverts but when it comes to flirting with people he finds intriguing, he's not here to play LMAO. how does he act 〜suave〜 so naturally?? smh i need those skills too /hj. lyney on the other hand... he takes it as an achievement if he manages to fluster you! the sleight of the hand is his bread & butter but he's good with his words just as well, no? voila! ✧ i am biting my fist UWAGHH. i am head over heels for the 'speaks to you / says your name in a softer voice' thingy but to witness it first-hand??? i'm so happy for you 🤭

WWHWHWHWH. ayato usually has the maids prepare our meals so he probably tells them to make it extra special. unfortunately, i'm more of a night owl than an early riser so by the time he brings the tray onto the bed, i'm just looking at him all groggy LOL. he thinks it's cute, taps my cheek and teasingly asks if this is all a ruse to get him to spoon feed me.... this man /aff. wanderer tho is a good cook so he does not play around with food or breakfast! but it's gonna take lots of coaxing to have breakfast in bed since “if it spills on the mattress, i'll demote you to the floor for a day.” i tell him about the existence of trays but he's still adamant. no fun 💔 /j

CAMELLIAS?! those happen to be one of my fav flowers!!! and the meaning too... i'm ahhdjwjejw /pos. he would tho!! wanderer canonically like wandering off in nature (oh, dearest sumeru), i think he picks flowers to bring back home. but sometimes, he'd rather observe them from afar: they're fleeting, after all. so he might as well leave them be to bloom to their fullest. yk.... i should buy some seeds these days and make a garden of our own. maybe it could be a surprise for him oooooo mhm mhm!! wbu?? does albedo or lyney indulge in making you breakfast in bed too hehe :3c (for lyney, i'm willing to bet lynette sponsored that breakfast /j)

NOT THE FURNITURE POSE HAHAA 😭

“smile!”

vi: 🌸🌷🎀🩷

bf: 🚪🚪🚪

/j but we appreciate the effort!!! i'm also not vv photogenic myself so i can relate badly with the furniture pose LMAO 😔 i prefer taking pictures of others instead! ayato is really photogenic. this is what happens when you deal with paparazzi /j & wanderer can be photogenic too but only in candid. he does not like staring at the camera. what a grumpy cat /aff +++ i saw the picrew you sent me! VI IT'S SO ADORBS AHHHH feel free to share more picrews of you & your f/o's anytime! i love love love them ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა /gen !!!!

[cl00udyyanan]

Hiiii! I'm a Scorpio, and I would like to request Diluc 💖 I nearly requested Kaeya, but I think I have a feeling in our compatibility LMFAOOO (our MBTI types are also pretty incompatible 💀. I swear he's one of my favorite characters)

lmaoo i love doing scorpio reqs they're always so interesting. a bit about the kaeya one, since he's also a scorpio, it wouldn't be a bad relationship. just a bit.. toxic, but yk toxic love brittiany spears said it first.

taurus and scorpio

okay diluc diluc diluc, babes yall are obsessed with eachother its honestly disgusting. like, you'd be in the tavern with him and he's always linked to you he just LOVES you and wants you by his side (also doesn't want you to become a victim of venti's bs,, oh and he makes fun of yall btw he's a gemini he's a little shit) yall are so intimate together like its honestly so cute. you two can trust eachother very easily, at first diluc is quiet which may be off putting to the scorpio, but he'll open up to you soon enough to where there's no doubt you two can be so loyal to eachother. you both understand eachother like no other, now scorpios are characterised as dark thinkers, if this applies to you, diluc will not judge you at all and will help give a realistic outlook to your struggles. if this doesn't apply, diluc is able to just listen to your ideas and beleif, he himself doesn't need to speak alot about hsi issues, but when he does he just wants you to hear him out. thats all he asks, and i think you can accept that. you guys are great for eachother really. oh, you guys can share anything together. you can literally break down in tears infront of diluc and he's righ there seriously. you want your relationship to last, for a good longtime. whether its eternal or simply just a nice long drive, its meant to last as something to remmeber.

the only bad thing about this relationship is if you were to fall in way too deep. i mean like that deep deep love where you need him all the time. you can't be away from him and want him all to yourself, that posseiveness you could give off can drag diluc down. he loves you too much to say no to you. so just be careful not to do that to him.

in the end, this is the best relationship ive seen so far, yall are literally perfect for eachother.

compatiblity: 97 seriously you might as well figure out how to make diluc a real person bc he's your soulmate.

[lanchang]

oh you know. it would be a fun detail if the reason xl finds mq's challenges (seems like a good word!) comforting is BC of hc... bc in the actual novel post 800 year friendship divorce it seemed to me xl was too weary of everything to be... reactive. receptive to mq being abrasive & perhaps also too taken aback by some key differences in mqfx behavior (the way they dont quite have the deferential undercurrent of their old dynamic) to find anything about their interactions to be comforting in the familiar Or the new & exciting of a break from status quo... but with the newfound peace he's found with hc as well as perhaps the newfound discomfort its all in a different light. what was grating and made him reflect on past hurts is smoothed over by their reconcilliation (TO A DEGREE‼️) And made him feel less restrained by (gestures at the devotion) ... and what if mq could pick up on this in some way and understand that the receptiveness hes receiving is not solely his own charm, or whatever hes willing to attribute to himself and not their history. and what if feng xin was also there 🧍‍♂️

ooooough i love this sm. hc refreshes and revitalizes xl who then starts to open his eyes to new experiences. mq realizing that the affect that hc has had on xl and how that in turn is making xl receptive to something more between and not being sure if he should love or hate hc for it. feng xin is there and sees it all but doesnt know what to make of it but feels oddly left out.

xie lian wouldnt have to worry about letting mu qing down in the same way he might fear letting hc down. because first of all mu qing has already betrayed him in the past and apologized and they got over it. although it would be fun to bring that up again 👀 plus mu qing was always kind of defiant even when he wasnt being weirdly caustic and supportive all the the same time like even when he was still a loyal servant he would still do things like in this following excerpt

While he spoke, he saw a worn-down handcart further up the alley and said, “Put the kid in that cart and pull it to go.”

Mu Qing immediately voiced, “Just so we’re clear, I will not pull that thing up the mountain.”

“No one’s asking you to,” Feng Xin said.

and hc would never be that blunt about something like that he would do anything xl asked even if he found a way to get someone else to do it he wouldnt say he wouldn't do it

and hc says he accepts xl completely having seen him at his lowest that may be true or he may believe thats true but things change!! and while xl may at first feel relieved to have someone so unconditionally supportive but he's still human!!! and can be changed and with those changes come new fears!!! such as letting down the person who has never wronged you!! and possibly even getting tired of that person a bit!!!

thats so true about xie lian being too weary to be reactive he really is just like "whatever its fine its all in the past i dont care im just floating through life" but all the love and devotion might just bring him back to life enough to start making big mistakes <3

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think