#‘or who knows maybe it’s because i’m always looking at someone else’
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theunsinkableship1 · 2 days ago
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Things are not always what they seem...
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⚠️Disclaimer: This is Lukolaland only. If you don't believe you should skip. No harm intended and no hard feelings. Only strong feelings here.
Dear Lukola Shippers,
I hope this message finds you well, no matter where in the world you are. Though I’ve been mostly quiet recently, I want you to know I’m still firmly aboard this ship, and the waters have felt calmer of late. We are witnessing great waves of success coming to our Lukola. Watching them thrive individually and achieve such success is a joy, it’s wonderful to see them striving and thriving in their unique journeys.
Today, I’d like to open up about something personal. It’s a topic that requires sensitivity but resonates deeply with what we often discuss as a community. Appearances can be deceiving.
Humans are complex beings, and we can never be entirely certain of what’s happening behind closed doors. Even when all signs seem to point in one direction, the reality could be something entirely different.
When I was younger, I was in relationships that seemed one way from the outside but were very different beneath the surface. Back then, I was seen as someone confident and put-together a "popular girl," if you will. But inside, I felt like a wallflower. People were drawn to the version of me they saw, not the person I truly was.
In one relationship, I fell deeply in love. To the outside world, we looked like the perfect couple. But the reality was far from that. I was shy and cautious, but I fell for one of the hit boys. I was deeply in love, but he wasn’t. I became more of a mix between a prop and a seat filler in his life. While I was publicly acknowledged, I wasn’t truly valued in his heart. Being young and in love, I sometimes acted jealous and irrationally, making poor decisions in my attempt to hold on to the relationship. While I gave my all, I never was someone that he truly cherished. I was young and blinded by my feelings, so I clung tightly to the relationship, convincing myself and others that everything was fine. Looking back, I realize that what people saw from the outside, the smiles, the handholding, was a façade for a connection that didn’t exist in his heart. His attention was always somewhere else.
Later, I entered another relationship. I was tired of being alone. All my friends were in relationships, and I found myself longing for one too. This time, it was with someone I became very close to through mutual friends. Though we had a strong bond, we quickly realized we weren’t a romantic match. Yet, for two years, we stayed in a "relationship" because it worked for both of us at that time, he was coming to terms with his own identity, and I was healing and waiting for the right person. To the outside world, we were a couple. We even lived together and shared milestones. But in reality, we were best friends who blurred the lines of companionship. Only our close friends knew the truth: to the outside world, we appeared to be a couple, but in reality, we were just best friends. Sometimes, things can get messy, and lines blur. While I was in this pretend relationship, someone from my past reentered my life, wanting to marry me. Things moved quickly, and even though my friend knew our arrangement was temporary and understood the situation, there might have been some emotional complexity. Perhaps I was ready to move on before he was, or maybe it was because we were emotionally intertwined in many ways. Societal perceptions could have played a role as well. I’m still not entirely sure. After my wedding, we went our separate ways. Though we remain on friendly terms, we are no longer close, and I haven’t heard from him in years.
Life is full of such complexities. For example, I have a chronic hormonal condition that, at times, makes me appear pregnant when I’m not. Years ago, this led to assumptions and speculation, especially early in my marriage. People congratulated me on pregnancies that didn’t exist, which was deeply painful as I faced uncertainty about whether I could have children. It taught me how much appearances can mislead even well-meaning people.
So, why share all this? Because as fans, it’s easy to speculate about the lives of people we admire. But the truth is, only they know what’s happening behind closed doors. I’ve noticed many people dismiss or deny the bond between them, but I believe we can’t be doubtful of its existence. I’m confident they are also aware of what they share. What we’re speculating about is what’s truly happening behind the scenes and why things are unfolding the way they are.
It all comes down to perception and observation. There’s something peculiar about this situation, too many coincidences for certain things to be purely incidental. Patterns emerge that can be explained rationally, and those who pay close attention recognize the mixed messages that make a straightforward narrative unlikely. Occam’s razor doesn’t apply neatly here.
Moreover, we have public evidence, not just imagined scenarios, that suggests there’s been something deeper between them at some point. The idea that 'there’s nothing more' doesn’t hold water because, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
Appearances, whether on red carpets, social media, or interviews can only tell part of the story. And while our love for Luke and Nicola is real and rooted in admiration for their talent and chemistry, we must tread lightly.
I adore Luke’s subtle and nuanced acting and his incredible singing voice, which has a charm that captivates. Nicola’s range as an actress is extraordinary, and her vibrant personality shines through in everything she does. I support them both as individuals and as a couple because they make me believe in their connection.
I remain here because I believe in the love they seem to share, whether it’s in a glance, a gesture, or an unspoken understanding. Until the day there’s unequivocal proof otherwise, I’ll keep believing because they make me feel the love.
With love and hope,
The unsinkable ship 🚢
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giddythekitty · 2 days ago
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A little speculation of mine regarding shifting
Disclaimer: Everything I say in this post is only what I think might be blocking some of us in shifting to not-parallels. Take it as you wish but don’t come for me because I warned you.
So, shifting.
We already know social media is an issue, lots of people talked about it before. But I kinda want to dive a little deeper.
Because yeah, social media(including Tumblr) does affect you, but why?(and also a few secondary causes)
Burnout
Usually(me personally) I spend a lot of time doomscrolling on Tiktok or here on Tumblr and looking at things about my s/o or my cc or a friend there or the likes. While it’s not exactly a bad thing to look for ‘motivation’ per se, it kills some intention to shift to that reality because you have a small substitute for it here.
2. AI chatbots
Remember, your subconscious can’t tell the difference between what you see and what you tell it you see. Same goes for conversations or movies or books. Maybe even dreams. It doesn’t differentiate between a real conversation and one with a chatbot, so again, some of that intention is killed.
3. Daydreaming/‘roleplaying’
Am I saying either of those are bad things? No. Am I saying they are absolutely terrible for you if you want to shift? No again. What I’m saying is if you do it too much it might also affect your intention and/or motivation to shift. If you need an example, I’ll give one. I like to listen to music a lot, because it’s a coping mechanism and an escape from ‘the real world’. Usually many of these songs are accompanied by scenes I make up in my head and most of the ones I personally have are related to who I am in one DR but talking to some characters from a different place. Like a crossover of the sorts. There is not a single day where I haven’t listened to at least one song.
4. Looking at other shifters for help
So many shifters have said it before and by god am I tired of saying it too, but shifting is a path of self discovery. Like a puzzle. You’re given the pieces and the final image, but you’re the one who has to put them together, not someone else for you. You already have all you need, wasting time looking for answers to questions like ‘why am I not shifting’ or ‘what else do I have to do to shift’ can become hurtful. Sure, advice from time to time is helpful, but constantly doing it won’t get you anywhere.
Your mom didn’t spoon feed you your entire life, did she? She showed you how to do it yourself when you were old enough to learn, and you had to practice on your own and build up strength in your little toddler hands how to hold a spoon properly so you can eat.
So what do all these have in common and to do with shifting?
Simple: Intention and Motivation. Your will to get there.
Now I’m not saying to stop them all together, but I am saying that they should be cut off— rationed if you will— significantly if it means those of us with said issue want to get rid of it.
Again, it kills the intention to shift. Your conscious can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s fake, so it always thinks seeing an edit of your favorite person is really similar to seeing them IRL. From my point of view(mine personally), intention isn’t always there.
Let’s give another example and pretend intention is sugar. Sweetness in general. If you have it sometimes, you’re fine. Maybe you want more, but it’s okay. If you take it in big quantities though, it can become an addiction and lead to diabetes or an insulinic shock.
Now pretend all those things I counted out above as the sugar. You take too much and you might end up hurting yourself at some point or just staying at the same level. Spending all day doomscrolling, looking at other peoole for help, chatting with ais and so on, all while having the ‘it’ll help me shift tonight’ mindset won’t get you too far because you’re just exhausting yourself.
And no one’s saying the change has to be instant. You can’t stop an addiction immediately because it’ll just hurt you more, but you can slowly lessen the dose until it’s minimal or nonexistent. At the end of the day you’re only helping yourself, and what’s a thousand years to an eternity of bliss?
I know this is long, but I feel it needs to be put out there. This feels like important information/advice/take it as you will, and let me know if you have questions and I’ll make sure to answer/clarify them.
Happy shifting and take a break if you need to.
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american-horror-whore · 2 days ago
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life update (tw assumed almost kidnapping, possible stalking, etc)
I should really be forcing myself to go on temporary hiatus but this is really my only safe space. i’ve been treated very roughly recently, and what happened yesterday just added. don’t worry about me leaving you all, i’m not taking a temporary hiatus
so i’m honestly just gonna start off with a message. Men, women, minors, anyone: please be vigilant of your surroundings. No matter where you are, densely populated places or scarcely populated places, day or night, be vigilant.
My car is currently in a different state, being lent to a family member (which has been going on for about a month), meaning i have to take public transport to and from college since i’m not doing dorms. Where the bus stops is just a short walk from my house, probably only 5 or 6 houses down, 5 to 10 minute walk.
Just for anyone who’ll have questions about why I wasn’t able to defend myself, Massachusetts colleges prohibits carrying firearms or concealed weapons, meaning i’m not able to take my pocket knife or any form of defense i have. The only exception is for law enforcement officers who are authorized to carry weapons. There is also no way in hell i’m leaving any sort of defense on public transport until I come back at the end of the day.
A few weeks back, I had seen an inferno orange-reddish toyota truck slowing down near me. driving it, was an older man. I didn’t think much of it at the time, chalking up to pure coincidence or misunderstanding. maybe i was someone he thought he knew? maybe he had to take a turn? i live in a scarcely populated area, only about 4,000 people live here. probably someone one of my parents knew.
Earlier yesterday, my final class ended around 2. I got off the public transport at 2:30-2:40 and started walking. I had one airpod in my ear, still semi-vigilant of my surroundings. everything was fine. Until i saw this truck again. Okay, it was slowing down, same as last time. Except the man was staring me down this time. And pulled over on the opposite side of the road. I stop, turn around to face the truck to let him know i was aware of what was happening. Shakily, i pull out my phone, pretending to take a video. The man sits in his car for a bit as i walk backward, still holding my phone out. I was too scared to even take a real video or a photo of the plates. He half-pulled out onto the road, looking like he was going to turn onto my side. Instead, he pulled away, most likely when he saw I had a phone. I had called my boyfriend when he had slowed down, just to have someone on the phone.
With all that being said, when the man drove away, I ran up the hill, back to my house. Out of fear, and not wanting to call anyone else, I call my stepfather, anything i was saying was barely audible. He told me to calm down, asked me if i was okay, and asked what happened. I told him what had happened, to which he had asked if I had the plates. I told him no. He said that was okay, talked to me a bit more, and told me to call the police. I called my local station, talked to someone, and I could tell they weren’t just brushing it off as a woman being crazy or attention seeking. They told me they understood I was afraid, but there wasn’t much they could do without the plates. I told them that was okay, and if i saw it again, i’d take photos.
I’ve been extremely shaken all night and this morning. My stepfather put in to get out of work early for the next however long to come pick me up from the stop, which I am so grateful for. But it got me thinking, what would’ve happened if the guy got ballsy enough to get out of his truck? what would’ve happened if he took me? And I have nothing to defend myself with except punches, kicks and bites, which of a 5’3, 98lbs college girl, there’s not much force behind those.
I always want to keep you guys updated in my life, because I feel transparency is important with people you care about. I apologize for how long winded this was, and if you made it this far, thank you.
tags to those know i know will care about something like this:
@fear-is-truth , @newwavesylviaplath
@taintandviolent @marchsfreakshow @cxndiedvi0lets
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muncedes · 2 years ago
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this was.. everything and more
I Wanna Be Yours | joe burrow
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pairings : joe burrow x reader
word count:16k+
synopsis: joe has been keeping his distance from you , upon discovering why your friendship changes forever.
warnings: reader being totally oblivious, mentions of slight body dysmorphia, reader has 🧚🏽‍♀️beauty marks🧚🏽‍♀️, Joe being an asshole for like a second, best friends doing couple shit, smut, oral sex (fem receiving), overstimulation, a rushed ending (literally wrote it at 3am),
A/n: finally letting my baby I've been keeping since July 2022 out, it's been well, may you find success 😭 enjoy yall
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From Joey:
Hey, I'm skipping out on movie night. Sorry.
You stare down at your phone with a frown, after re-reading the text for the third time. Making sure you were reading things clearly. Your gaze reflects an aggressive glare. Are you fucking kidding me? He's bailed out on you yet again, you wouldn't be so annoyed if this was his first time canceling. However, recently, Joe has been clearly avoiding you at whatever cost. He has become particularly standoffish with you lately, giving you nearly every excuse in the book when you offer to hang out. If it's not working out, it's a team meeting, and when that's not an option- he says he's "too tired". His excuses were aplenty.
Joe has many attributes, but being a good liar isn't one of them. You knew something is wrong. Feeling very offended, you eventually begged him to hang out with you one day. After all, it's been a while since you two actually spent some time together, a perfect opportunity. But as soon as he showed up at your condo, your plan backfires. The plan for the day you arranged turned into Joe purposely busying himself away from you like the goddamn plague. Giving you halfhearted responses, making sure his attention was everywhere but you the entire time he was there while giving you the cold shoulder, in spite of what? You have no clue. And that is what's been killing you, the reason you're being utterly disregarded is entirely baseless. 
That horrid hangout was last month, and since then you haven't seen and hardly talked to each other up till yesterday when you swallowed down the grudge you were planning on holding and invited him over for a movie night. Something you used to do frequently when you were kids.
Swallowing down the anger and hurt, a moment of worry comes through. If it was any other friend giving you nothing but a buoyancy of discourteousness you would've reciprocated the same energy. Without hesitation. However, this was no ordinary friend. This is your best friend, someone you have known ever since he was merely an awkward preteen that had an obsession with Nickelodeon and Disney. The first and only child you ever knew was when you first moved to Plains Ohio when you were just nine years old. It has always been you and him, the classic two peas in a pod. He saw you pass through every milestone, from having your first crush, to your first experience of heartbreak, and the first time you had fallen and broken a bone on your body at the local neighborhood playground which resulted in eleven-year-old Joe carrying you all the way home crying. 
Just as he was there for you, you were there for him. Throughout all high school, you've been to every single one of his games, basketball or football. When he suffered through his drought at Ohio State you were there giving him encouragement and support. And when the opportunity came for Joe to take his talent down to Louisiana at LSU, you were right there. As well as taking multiple trips to games to support him, as you juggle between school and extracurricular activities. His career progressed into the NFL, and you sat right beside him on his parent's couch cheering him on. You were always there.
Reading his text over yet again you type out a response. 
To: Joey
you've really been a terrible friend lately…if there's something wrong you can tell me 
You watched as the "delivered" text turned into "read at 8:30pm". It wasn't long before the three grey dots appeared showing you that he was typing out a response. Sitting up from your slouched position on the couch, your heart race increases as you imagine all the possible responses to his reasoning for being such a shitty friend. 
This better be a good fucking reason, you thought watching the gray dots appear and reappear again as if he was typing out a whole novel worth. You clicked your phone off and placed it beside you, not wanting to look at the screen any longer, hoping that it will somehow make his response come faster. You wish that he was face to face so you could take a read at his expression, maybe he'll feel guilty that he's treating you like this or angry as he expresses what you might've done to make him act this way.
Eventually, your phone buzzes, and a sigh leaves you as you muster up the courage to open the message. And when you do, your mouth slackens.
From Joey <3
K.
That's certainly not the response you were looking forward to, did he really just send you a one-word—not even a whole word—a one-letter text? Despite being absent in your presence it felt like he had landed the biggest slap on your face, followed by a simple "fuck you". The analogy was a bit drastic, sure but so was his response. It was deceptively simple, though it tells you a lot. 
Your finger itches to hit the call button and give him an earful of scornful remarks. But you decided against it, knowing it would only add insult to injury he's clearly got an issue with you, and instead of being the one who does the chasing, you're going to let him come to you.
"Fuck him." You grumbled, shutting off your phone and tossing it aside with a little more force than usual as if you were imagining it hitting his face. Letting out a pitiful huff you look at the variety of snacks you had gotten scattered on the coffee table, including your best friend's favorites. 
Without giving him another thought, you reluctantly grabbed the bowl of popcorn and turned on the TV. Your movements were sluggish and unintentionally nonchalant, the curiosity was still nagging in the back of your mind. 
What the hell did I do to him?
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"I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong," Mrs. Burrow assures you, a ground rake in her hands as she smooths out the soil bed. You stood in the middle of the miniature garden surrounded by vigorous plants, fruits, and vegetables. After your somber movie night two days ago, your curiosity only grew about Joe's unorthodox behavior. Despite telling yourself you weren't going to go on a wild goose chase for him.
Truth be told, you had too much of an empathic nature about you to give him the cold shoulder right back. As much as you wanted to, that was simply not your character. 
You were his best friend, someone with whom he can tell everything whether it was good or bad. It felt very defective to brush him off aside not knowing if he was undergoing something that was truly difficult. To have a better insight along with some real needed advice, you decide to unleash your complications on Mrs. Burrow, his mom. Hoping to have a clear-cut understanding of what's been going on with her son.
"Has he contacted you since?" She adds, pausing a moment to stick the tool into the ground leaning against it, with one hand on her hip.
You bit your lip, looking off to the side. "He tried to,"
"What does that mean?" She furrowed her eyebrows curiously.
"He texted me yesterday morning and I left it on read." You said almost shamefully as you realize how immature it appears. But you honestly didn't care. If he was going to act petty with you for whatever reason, you were going to do the same with him. "It was only a Spongebob meme, but that's his way of trying to act like everything is okay." You were sure of it.
"You kids are truly something else, I don't like seeing you guys like this." Mrs. Burrow shook her head in disapproval.
"He's the one who started it!" You exclaim, feeling a sense of deja vu of the time when you and Joe were kids and would point the finger at each other about who broke her favorite vase. "Sorry, I'm probably putting you in a really awkward position right now."  You said sheepishly, making your way to the small two-person table and taking a seat with a sigh.
She followed suit taking a seat on the opposite side of you, the rake still in her hands. 
"Honey, you're fine. This is just all so unsuspected." She says.
And you could see why, you and Joe hardly ever had any problems, sure you guys would bicker about something every now and then. But it has never come down to this where one is being hostile towards the other, you could remember the times you were mad at him for no less than two days, let alone have the ability to be disdainful for weeks like he's been with you. 
That's what hurts the most, him allowing himself to be distant without a care in the world, acting as if though it doesn't affect him. Here you were mind going crazy about what he's possibly going through, yet it seems to be he doesn't give two-shits about how you're feeling and concerns right now.
"I don't know what to do," You said, sounding completely defeated, leaning your chin in your palm.
"Maybe you should go talk to him, face to face?" She suggests.
"Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be too terrible." You agreed reluctantly, that had been your next move even though a part of you wanted him to come to you instead.
"So," Mrs. Burrow said with a smile. "I hear you're dating someone."
You let your face light up in surprise at her abrupt mention of your dating life, automatically knowing who informed her. 
"His name is Malik." You told her though you're more for certain that she already knew that.
She let out a hum, before looking at you seriously. "Is he treating you right? I heard he's a bit of a playboy." 
You wanted to roll your eyes, of course, Joe ranted off his hatred for Malik, saying the same shit, yes Malik had his reputation as a playboy back in high school. However, years passed and a lot has changed so much that you didn't even recognize him when you ran into each other at the grocery store, the presumptuous and egoistic high school boy you once knew was now replaced with an amiable and responsible man. Yet you couldn't get Joe to see that, no matter how much you pleaded and begged for him to hear you out about Malik he simply wouldn't listen. 
You still remember the day you told him about the first date you were going on with Malik, angry was an understatement describing how Joe reacted.
Multiple curses fell from your lips, as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror struggling to wrap your thick and luxuriant hair into a neat ponytail. Due to how voluminous your hair is, your hands were insignificant trying to grasp every single strand. This has been a complication with you for as long as you could remember, when your hair is not tamed you would always need a second pair of hands to assist. And those hands would always lead to,
"Joey!" You called out, letting your arms flop down to your sides in defeat. He was supposed to have a lunch date with his friends who were bringing their gfs/wives, not wanting to feel like the oddball he invited you to keep him company. You were supposed to leave twenty minutes ago, and you just knew if you kept taking a chance with your hair it would be hours.
Grasping your brush and two ecstatic hairbands, you left the bathroom.
"Yeah?" His voice sounded muffled coming from all the way downstairs.
You skipped down the stairs and made your way into the living room seeing him sitting on the edge of the sofa, legs spread, with his phone in hand, eyes focused on the screen. 
"Can you help?" You asked, holding up your hands which held the brush and hairband.
Almost immediately he pulls his attention away from his phone to look at you with a small smile. "Sure, c'mere."
Your heart skipped a beat at his attention towards you,  you made your way towards him without saying a word, you handed him the brush and hair band before plopping down on the floor in between his legs. His thick thighs caged you in, barley being covered due to the pink shorts he wore, you were so close to him the scent of his cologne filled your senses. 
This was a bad idea, you thought, feeling him carefully brush your hair. Relishing in his gentle touch, you had been in the position many times before with him helping you with your hair, why does it feel different now? The answer is,  In those times you didn't stupidly develop a crush on him. 
As much as you tried to ignore it, those thousands of butterflies swarming around inside you couldn't be stopped. Or the hopelessly long gazes you found yourself giving him when he wasn't looking. It was incredibly impossible not to fall for him. He's so sweet, considerate, understanding, yet so complex in many things as well as being extremely overprotective. But you didn't care, he wouldn't be Joe if he didn't have all those aspects about him.
A small sigh of content escapes you before you could stop it, due to how engrossed you were into thinking about the man that was generously helping out in doing your hair.
He paused and set the brush aside before grasping both of your cheeks, tilting your head back so you could look at him in an upside down Spiderman kiss way.
"You good?" He asks, his thumb rubbing by your hairline. 
A shiver went down your spine at the seemingly loving gesture. Sometimes you wonder if Joe ever felt an ounce of the same feelings you have for him. But then you remember Joe has always been affectionate and gentle towards you, it wouldn't be right for you to try and make it into something that it's not. 
Giving him a weak smile you nodded your head that was currently being cradled in his large hands. "I'm fine."
"C'mon you can tell me." His eyes twinkled with curiosity at your feeble response.
No you can't, you really couldn't not without dying from shame and embarrassment.
"Really I'm fine" you say , looking deep into his blue eyes a few strands of hair fell down his forehead from him leering over you, your fingers itching to brush it away. 
Joe starts to open his mouth to say something when the phone that was in the front pocket of your shorts began ringing. He removes his hands from your face and settles them back into your hair as you retrieve your phone.
You looked at the caller ID and noticed it said 'Malik' almost immediately you hurriedly pressed ignore in guilt. Here you were sitting in between the legs of your best friend who you have a huge crush on, while the guy that was taking you out on Friday night was calling you. 
"Who's Malik?" Joe asks with a familiar caution in his voice. 
Oh boy, you knew a wave of excessive protection was headed your way. Along with some serious interrogation, after your last not-so-pretty breakup two years ago almost every boy you ever showed interest since then Joe manages to scare them off. These days you won't dare mention a guy that you were seeing in wary of Joe's overprotective tendencies. 
"Malik, ya know from high school? I ran into him at the store two weeks ago, um, we've been talking since," You trailed off, noticing the brushing of your hair was getting slower and slower. You could practically hear the gears turning inside his head. " He wants to take me out on Friday."
"Malik as in, Malik Jack-ass?!" He exclaimed, stopping his movements.
You glanced over your shoulder, his expression was hard to read but you could tell the bits of shock coming from it.
"It's Jackson, and yes." You say, not wanting to refer him to the nickname you and Joe came up with in high school.
"What the hell are you doing talking to him?" The wrinkles between his eyebrows appeared as he looked at you with confusion and annoyance. 
"Because I can? Look, he's not the same Malik from high school okay? He's really changed." You explained.
He lets out a scoff. "And you know that from the amount of time you've been talking to him, which is?"
You hated how he made sense.
"Two weeks," You mumble out, watching Joe throw his hand up in the air in exaggeration. "But, I can just tell he's different now! If he was the same guy back then, I wouldn't last a day talking to him."
"You don't think he still has those same qualities ? People just don't get rid of that shit, that's usually the type of person that they are!" His voice was heavy with fury and his eyes were narrowed. Joe always has a protective effect over you, but you've never seen him express this much anger over a guy you were talking to.
"Whatever Joe, it's not cool to judge people from their past, especially when they were in high school!" You shot back, turning your body back around prompting him to continue with your hair.
"I'm not being judgemental I'm simply taking into consideration the way he's treated girls so he won't do the same to you." He gathers your hair a little roughly and tight forming it into a high ponytail causing you to hold on to his bare thigh for stability as you wince. 
"Ow! Take it easy," You scolded, swatting him on the leg. "And he won't!" You said after he was finished, turning back around to face him, still sitting in between his thighs.
"How would you know? You're not going on the date." He responded,  you gave him a look of bewilderment .
Did you hear that right?
"Excuse me?" You questioned, eyebrows being raised in shock.
"You heard me, I'd be the worst fucking friend ever to let you set yourself up for disaster like that." His jaw was clenched, and you noted the way he said the word 'friend' almost as if he was disgusted to call himself that which confused you a whole lot more.
"You're not acting like my friend, you're straight up acting like my goddamn father right now! Which is so fucking annoying let me do what I want to do Joe, I'm not helpless." You huffed out, due to you being only two years younger than him for as long as you could remember Joe looked at you as if you weren't responsible or competent . He had his reasons to think that, back when you were younger however you needed him to know that you were twenty-three years old, very much capable of handling your own situations and relationships. 
Joe looks at you for what seems like forever with mixed emotions, before letting out a humorless laugh and throwing up his hands as if he was backing off. "Okay, you got it, I'll be sure to refrain from saying "I fucking told you so" when shit doesn't work out the way you wanted it to."
And he was right, things hadn't been working out the way you wanted to, but Malik wasn't the problem—far from it actually, it was you, for the longest you'd been trying to force the feelings you have for Joe to disappear and create something with Malik. Which ultimately made you try to walk in a relationship with only for the convenience it brings. You were content for the time being but you weren't truly over the moon or jumping with joy. All because you couldn't shake off the devotion you have for Joe. In the short time of five months with Malik you've found yourself thinking about him. 
Every.Single.Time 
Whenever Malik pulls you into a hug, you couldn't help but to think about Joe's much longer and stronger ones being wrapped around you. When he goes to give you a kiss, you imagine the lips you've been itching to taste for years, being pressed against yours. There was no way around it, and you felt completely horrible knowing Malik didn't deserve any of it. Which is why you ended things with him two weeks ago.
You inform Mrs. Burrow that you were currently single and weren't seeing him anymore. Her face contorts in surprise, with a bit of joy?
"Oh dear, what happened? He didn't do anything, did he?" She asks with concern
"No, it just didn't feel right, I guess." Your words come out in a mumble of shame, knowing you ended a potentially good relationship with someone due to your overwhelming love you have for your best friend who's currently ignoring you.
"Hm, wasn't the kind of guy that you're going for?" She says with a knowing smile, you felt as if her words had a double meaning to them or maybe your detection was off.
"No," You let out a sigh. " He wasn't."
"Does Joe know?" She asked curiously.
"No, don't think he'll care too much anyway." You shrugged.
"You don't know that, it'll probably make his day." She waves her hand dismissively, causing your eyebrows to knit together.
At first, her words confused you, why would Joe be happy? There was no reason for him to be before your realization hits you like a truck. You remember Joe's off Standish behavior when you first brought Malik around him, it was at a small get-together party hosted by your mutual friend from high school, and his displeasure went unnoticed by everyone. You thought it was just his socially awkward persona, but now you are looking back at all the times his mood went black whenever Malik was in his presence. Now that you are in deep thought about it, you realize that the whole time you were with Malik Joe was slowly distancing himself from you. 
Was he still holding his animosity towards your decision to date Malik? 
"I assume you'll be able to make it this weekend though right?" She says, breaking you away from your thoughts.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's going on this weekend?"
"The trip to Hocking Hills," She said. "Joe told me you wouldn't be able to make it because you made plans with Malik."
"I'll try to make it." You told her, depending on how your visit with Joe would go.
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After chatting with Mrs. Burrow for a couple of minutes you finally said your goodbyes and made your way to your car. As you drive down the familiar street of Joe's neighborhood, in preparation for how this unsuspected visit from you will go. You couldn't help but feel nervous, not knowing what the outcome will be. Eventually, you made it to his luxurious townhouse, as you parked behind his Porsche in the driveway you notice an unfamiliar car parked in front of the lawn with the engine running, when you got out and walked up the gravel walkway you glance at the green neon lights in the windshield, squinting your eyes you realize the word 'uber' is branded inside the car.
As you neared the entrance of the home, you went to lift up your hand to knock on the door. But before you could do that, the door swung open revealing not only a shirtless Joe but a girl next to him who made you do a double take due to the fact she was a girl you didn't think Joe would go for, she's a girl who looks just like you.
The sight has you completely baffled, she has your exact physique, along with the same type of full hair, and the same skin complexion. The only thing you notice that's different is her facial features, which helped with noticeable botox. 
Definitely a instagram model, you thought eyes dancing around her entire physique. Her own eyes looked you up and down condescending.
"Did I come at a bad time?" You asked taking a quick glance at Joe noticing his arm wrapped around the girl's waist.
"No you're fine." Joe clears his throat before saying. "This is-"
"Abby! My name is Abby" The girl interrupts give you smug smile as she offers her hand.
You took another look at Joe before bringing your attention to Abby grasping her hand with a tense smile. "Y/n, nice to meet you."
"I didn't know, you were coming over" Joe spoke, his voice laced with surprise and his face burned red as if he'd been caught sticking his hand in the cookie jar.
"Yeah, thought I'd pop up to see how you were doing." You cut your eye at him as you gave him a sarcastic smile.
Abby clears her throat looking between you two, more specifically you as she takes note of your tensed expression as you glare at the man beside her.
"Well, um, I'm gonna head out." Abby spoke, sensing the tension, she turned to Joe and gave him a sly smile. "Call me?"
He struggles to look at her as he replies."I will stay safe."
Abby proceeds to walk out giving you a subtle nod as you watch her walk down the walkway and into the backseat of the Uber, when the car door closes you turn to face Joe with a raised eyebrow. 
"What's that look?" He asks as you step inside, closing the door behind you.
"Nothing, just surprising your dipping your toe into something new." You said turning around to face him, taking in his disheveled appearance. His hair was slightly messy with a few curls dropping down, and his sweatpants hung low. Before you slipped into the depths of a salivating horn ball, you quickly looked away. "Or should I say your dick?"
Joe let out a breathless chuckle, running his hand over his hair multiple times. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" You mocked, Joe rolled his eyes at your childish answer as he stepped away from the doorway. "The real question is, what's up with your attitude lately?" You follow him out of the foyer and into the living room, where you spot two empty wine glasses. With a frown you turned your attention elsewhere, hating the fact that it was more likely when you were sitting watching horrible movies all night by yourself, Joe was accompanying someone else as you drowned in sorrow from his absence.
"Nothing, I've just been busy." He says looking everywhere but your face as he grabs the glasses from the coffee table and heads to the kitchen. 
"With Abby?" You say, leaning your forearms against the island counter as you watch him place the glasses in the sink. "Is that why you're acting like this?" You questioned again, You couldn't help the bitterness in your tone, from jealousy and anger.
From all the years you've known Joe, you know that he likes to keep his relationships private, and behind closed doors. He has a history of withholding his relationship status for the longest until he suddenly pops up with a girl on his arm randomly. To this day he wouldn't gossip about any girl that he takes interest in, he'd rather keep it to himself. Displaying his romantic life with anyone for Joe was a no-go.
"Acting like what? and no, she's just a friend." He responds, rinsing the glasses. His back was turned to you, showing a clear view of his toned muscular shoulder blades with faint red scratch marks. You managed to force yourself to look away, automatically knowing that his definition of her being a "friend" meant that her role is a casual hookup. 
"A "friend" who you ditched your real friend for?" You questioned shooting daggers at the back of his head, before adding. "Your best friend actually, who had to spend her Friday night alone."
"Is that what this visit is about?" He asked turning around while letting out a small huff when he noticed the small glare upon your pretty features, ignoring the way how cute your nose scrunched up or your soft lips form into a pout. 
"Yes! amongst other things, I want to get clear with you." You answered, relaxing your hostile stare.
He let out a hum briefly looking you up and down before saying. "What is it?"
You stood up straighter fiddling with your car keys in hand. "Are you still mad at me for dating Malik? Is that why you've been trying to be distant?"
The curiosity in you peaked more as you watched him draw back, his demeanor appearing to be flabbergasted, while he battled with himself to give you an answer. You wonder if he was conflicted between telling the truth or giving you a bold face lie.
"No, I'm not mad about your dating life. You are your own person. It's not my place to have a say about who you chose to have in your life." He finally says, after a couple minutes of silence. "You're happy, that's all that matters."
You laughed sarcastically. "You know, that would be so touching if it were true."
"It is the truth!"
"If it is, then why are you being so shitty towards me?" You pressed.
"I have not. You're being ridiculous."
"No, you are. You canceled on me yet again!"
Joe rolls his eyes. "Me canceling your plan to hangout automatically makes me a shitty person? Really?"
"No but doing it consistently and purposely makes you one." You said not understanding how can he not see what you were coming from.
"Oh that's rich coming from you." He chuckles as he shook his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"How many times have you canceled out on me to make plans with Malik? Do you see me coming into your home calling you a "shitty person" ? No! So cut all of this bullshit out!" His voice is raised and you could see redness creeping upon his neck.
He was getting angry.
"Are you serious? I have never stood you up for Malik it was always work-related." You look at him in disbelief before chuckling." Every time you find a way to bring him up, that just goes to show me you are acting like this because of him."
For some reason you didn't want to tell him you ended things with Malik. The fact he was willing to be mad at you for your choice to date him and neglect you because of it has you pissed.
He threw his hands up in frustration while letting out a deep sigh. "I'm not doing this with you."
"Doing what?"
"Having an argument. Because I called off on a stupid movie night." He furrows his eyebrows as he stares down at you with annoyance. "Don't you have a boyfriend to do that with any way or was he too busy balls deep in another chick to care?"
You felt a deep ache in your stomach as the words leave his mouth. You were hurt for two reasons: him calling your movie night "stupid" especially since you went all out for it buying his favorite snacks and the fact he couldn't see that you really wanted to spend time with him. Not Mali. Him the man who you're really in love with.
"What's really stupid is that you neglect me because you hate Malik so much!" This time your voice was raised as you glare at him.
"I already told you that's not true I've been busy!" He yells running a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Bullshit!" You shouted in return before trying to calm yourself. "Honestly I better go before I say something I regret later."
Joe scoffs while shrugging. "You know where the door is."
You bit the inside your cheek resisting the urge to reach over the counter wrapping your hands around his neck. However, you were never a violent person and couldn't imagine putting your hands on your best friend. So instead without giving him a glance you snatch your keys from the counter muttering under your breath "I hope Abby gave you crabs"
"What did you say?" He asked pushing himself away from the counter. You purposely didn't respond knowing it was one of his biggest pet peeves. As you proceeded to head towards the front door, you could hear his footsteps trailing after you.
"Fine you don't have to tell me, just know I won't be answering your calls or texts!" He shouted after you.
You laughed sarcastically. "Oh what will I ever do without talking to you."
"That's funny considering that's the exact reason you're here right now" He said smugly.
There is no doubt that he has you there, but you cannot allow him to have the final word.
"Unfortunately Malik was unavailable." You shot back .
"Yeah spending time with his other girlfriend I'd assume." Damn he won.
"Shut up!"
"You shut up!"
"Don't tell me to shut up!"
"Just did!"
You would've laughed at the childish banter if you weren't highly annoyed. Leave it to you two to argue like children. Without saying another word you yank the front door opened and proceeded to walk angrily over to your car.
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Joe shut the door loudly with a sigh hearing your car drive away. He hates fighting with you, in fact, he hates anything that causes a frown on your face. And knowing he was the reason made him feel like shit. Of course, when you confronted him about being distant, he knew where you were coming from. You were right he has been pushing you away because of Malik. He felt as if its the right thing to do. It made him sick to his stomach that Malik gets to hold and kiss you the way he's been yearning to do for years. To the point the feeling was becoming overwhelming he needed to stay away. Of course, he feels guilty and a little disgusted with himself to put you in the position of feeling like you've done something wrong.
Especially since it's not your fault he's fallen head over heels for you.
The situation is definitely not easy to be in since he's convinced you for sure don't love him like he loves you. Each day goes by and it feels like the feeling grows stronger and gets deeper. He knows feeling this way will only cause a great deal of trouble. The love continues to evolve whenever you were near even when you two were arguing he felt his heart swell with heavy emotion. There were many times he thought about just blurting out how much he's in love with you however in came that fear of confessing to someone you've been close to and tarnishing the indestructible bond you developed.
In fact he would rather suffer knowing you are smitten by another man , than to not have you as his best friend. He couldn't imagine losing you even though it already felt as if he had the minute you told him you're dating Malik.
Letting out another deep sigh, Joe walked into his living room and plopped down on the couch fishing his phone from his pocket to try and get his mind off you for once. Of course, that didn't go well because as soon as he opened his phone he was met with a picture of the two of you on his lock screen.
The picture was taken by his mom on the day of his 25th birthday when you gifted him a bouquet of peach-colored flowers. He remembers the embrace he pulled you in tightly, the pleasant smell of your natural, earthy, and rich scent as he thanked you. As well, he recalls pulling away when his mom announced that she was taking a picture of you both with her brand-new digital camera. Immediately you jumped up in his arms, and your legs were wrapped sideways around his waist in a hip carry position. No surprise there you were always an intimate hugger, never shying away to hold someone close. Your arms encircled his neck, he could feel his cheek pressing against yours as his right forearm gripped your waist and his left hand held the flowers firmly. You smiled brightly as the camera flashed.
Ultimately it became his favorite photo of you both, mostly because how naturally you two looked so much like a couple.
Additionally, the picture managed to capture his favorite piece of jewelry on you. You received it as a college graduation present from him: a two-piece diamond anklet bracelet. The idea of him spending a large amount of money on something so small on you was something you absolutely didn't want to accept at first. It seems you never take it off now, which he really enjoys.
A caller ID soon took over his screen interrupting his gaze. He answers it without hesitation.
"Hey Mom, what's up?" He said.
"Nothing much just finished making your father and I's lunch." Said Robin. "You know Mrs. Elwood from down the street? The nice lady that used to give you and y/n's those gigantic candy bars? Poor thing fell down the stairs."
"Really? That's terrible. Is she okay?" Joe furrowed his eyebrows in concern.
"She suffered a broken hip unfortunately but other than that she's fine. Luckily her daughter was visiting and immediately called 911. So she's currently in the hospital right now, maybe you and y/n can visit her ?" She tells him.
He stayed silent for a moment not knowing if he should tell his mom about the argument he'd just had with you.
"Joe? Hello?"
"Yeah, Ma I'll see." He murmurs picking at the loose thread of his sweatpants. With ample opportunity he'll visit he just wasn't so sure you'll both go together.
"Honey are you okay? you sound a bit down when you picked up the phone." She could immediately detect the sourness in his tone.
"Me and Y/N kinda gotten into an argument." He blurts out, knowing there was no way he could get away from his mom's intuition.
There was silence on the other end for a minute. Now it was Joe's turn to call out. "Mom you there?"
"I'm here, just thinking what in god's name is going on with you two. "
"I don't know mom, she came over bringing up the fact I'm not being a good friend to her." He explains. "Then it escalated from there."
"Was it a really bad argument?"
He shook his head as if she could see him. "No. It was just ridiculous. Her argument completely stems from the fact I didn't join her for movie night."
"And why didn't you?" His mom asked curiously.
"I've been busy." Joe said defensively.
"With what?"
"You know working out, training camp is in a couple weeks. Umm—" He stops to think of any other things he was currently doing which wasn't much.
"Here I'll finish it for you, avoiding my best friend because I'm in love with her and I don't like the fact that she's dating someone." She said in a mocking deep voice.
"Mom!"
"What?! That's exactly what you're doing Joey. And you are breaking her heart in the process." She scowls. "This method of trying to make your feelings go away is not doing you any good. You need to tell her how you feel now is a perfect time."
"How is now the perfect time mom? pretty sure she's got me on her block list." He said while rolling his eyes and he wasn't kidding he knew you can get petty like that.
"For one she's coming on the trip-" His mom started to say but what cut off.
"Mom I already told you she can't make it." He huffs out sinking deeper into a grumpy mood remembering why you're not going. Fucking Malik Jack-ass's birthday since when did you actually give a shit? he swears he never thought he'd see the day.
"Yeah, when she was dating that Malik guy," Robin says and he could practically see the smirk on her face.
What?
"What do you mean?" He asks incredulously. There was a tugging in his heart as his mind process her words. What does she mean by "was dating"? He was certain you were still seeing Malik and you weren't going on the trip.
"I mean Romeo, your girl is single and she's making it to the trip this weekend."
He felt as if ice-cold water have been thrown on him. Millions of questions were running rapidly in his head. You and the Jack-ass broke up? Since when? Why didn't you tell him?
Before he could utter out another word his mom continues to clarify.
"I talked to her earlier when she came over pretty upset by you and told me during our conversation." She adds.
"What? why didn't she tell me?" Joe now felt bad and concerned as to what the hell might've happened between you and Malik.
"She said you probably wouldn't care considering the way you're acting toward her."
If he felt bad before, he now feels like shit. It was a fight between happiness and having pins and needles stick him repeatedly. Before he can do any internal celebrating he needs to know if you were distraught in any kind of way. No matter how long he waited for this day to come he couldn't be happy with himself knowing you were undergoing heartbreak.
"Did she say why?" He said carefully his mind racing with all the possibilities of why you two would break up; Did the old Malik show up? Was he not giving you the amount of attention you deserve?.
"Just that he wasn't the guy she was going for," Robin said reassuringly she knew how passionate Joe was about you. " Don't worry she said he didn't do anything bad, they ended things on good terms."
With that, Joe finds himself at ease but only for a bit, he couldn't fully relax unless he hears it from you directly face-to-face. He wants to know you're not sugar-coating anything in protection for Malik because God knows how badly he's been wanting an excuse to punch him square in the face. Joe was never a fighter by no means but when it comes to his love he wouldn't hesitate to protect.
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You hated packing.
Mostly because you were terrible at it. In the past you overpacked so much you felt ridiculous, now you're scrambling around trying to limit the number of outfits and necessities. You tried to make it a thought process but ultimately threw in what you felt is necessary. With a huff, you zipped your travel bag not feeling entirely satisfied you knew once you get to the resort you'd forgotten something. For a moment you thought about not actually going, the argument with Joe still had you in a sour mood best friends or not there's no way you'll enjoy being in his presence for three whole days. But despite that, you knew you couldn't leave Robin in the lurch especially after giving your word.
Halfway through you gathering your items, three loud knocks were heard at the door. Furrowing your eyebrow you checked your phone to see who could be possibly stopping by, but nothing. There wasn't any new text messages and the last person you to talk with was Robin telling her you were still getting ready.
Your feet padded along the carpeted floor toward the door, and curiosity peaked until it didn't. Standing there dressed in a white tee and white hoochie daddy shorts, is Joe practically towering over you.
Immediately your eyebrows were pulled down as you eyed him." What are you doing here?"
"You look nice." He said, looking over your appearance. Nice being an understatement, you looked beautiful, he thank God for the heatwave Cincinnati was currently experiencing because if it weren't for that you wouldn't be standing there in a mini floral print lace dress. You never really wore dresses or anything that showed off your body casually, always finding comfort in baggy stylish clothes. You've always preferred to rather leave something to the imagination. That's one of the things he loves about you.
"Thanks." You mumble, tugging at the cropped cardigan even though it was almost crossing over to 90 degrees outside. Despite the compliment, you still kept your tone cold. "Now are you going to answer my question?"
"Can I come in first? I brought lunch." He helped up a bag in his hand that you didn't notice before.
You contemplate for a minute eyes darting between him and the bag, which has the logo of your favorite restaurant on it. He's trying to butter me up, you thought getting a whiff of the fresh food.
Without saying a word you step aside, you told yourself you were only doing this because you missed out on breakfast. Like knowing the back of his hand Joe navigates through your condo and into your living room. He set the food bag on the coffee table before sitting on the curved sectional sofa. There his expression flicker to something unreadable as he makes eye contact with you.
"Why are you showing up here unannounced?" You asked while taking a seat in your lounge chair.
"Like you did with me a couple days ago?" He raised an eyebrow at you, his tone wasn't irritated or vexed but rather amusing in fact if you weren't mistaken he seem to be in a good mood. A certain glow in his demeanor catches your attention. His overall presence felt relaxed and less annoyed the opposite of what you've seen for months now.
Abby probably lifted up his mood this morning The thought left a bitter feeling in your chest and for that, it made your glare towards him even harder.
Joe notices your harsh stare and chuckles finding it rather cute, of course, he knew you were rightfully mad at him but he couldn't help it your angry faces were never intimidating in the slightest. "Would you stop pouting? you're gonna get wrinkles by the time you hit thirty."
"You still haven't answered my question as to why you are here." You started crossing your legs as well as your arms.
"Maybe if you hadn't blocked my number, you would know." He said reaching into the bag and pulling out the take-out containers. The fresh smell had your stomach grumbling and mouth-watering
"Well, you did say not to call or text." You shrugged. "I was just making it easier for you."
"It isn't. Believe me, not exactly a good day if I don't hear from you. " He sighs. His voice sounded soft and gentle you'd never heard him speak like this before. As soon as his pale blue eyes met yours, you instantly felt a tickling sensation at the pit of your stomach as if millions of butterflies were crowded in one tiny room.
He looks at you with so much....love? no, It can't be. You wanted to scoff at your own delusions of course you would mistake his happy mood for something that's not that there.
Clearing your throat and breaking away from his eyes. "Are you going to answer my question?"
"Do I have to? C'mon, you know we always ride together whenever we go on a trip." Joe didn't care how mad you were at him, there's no way you could break a tradition like that.
"Who says I'm going on the trip?" You said nonchalantly. Though you had a pretty good idea of who it was that told him.
He rolled his eyes. "My mom told me. But you already knew that, so would you stop being stubborn?"
You expected him to elaborate more on what Robin told him specifically about the fact why you weren't seeing Malik anymore but it never came.
You raised an eyebrow while scoffing. "Forgive me for not wanting to be stuck in the car you."
"Look, I know you're still mad at me and for that I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you the best way I know how."
"By giving me food?" You quirked an eyebrow while accepting the container he handed off to you.
He chuckles showing off a duchenne smile. "Well I don't know anything other than food that will make you forgive me."
Your love and affection
a kiss maybe ?
"Coughing up Tee's number didn't cross your mind?" You half-joked. If you weren't stupidly in love with your best friend Tee would definitely be the guy you'll try to go for. He's so sweet and smells good every time you're around him.
Joe instantly loses his smile as he looks at you irritated. Making you laugh out loud. You don't know why, but it amuses you when Joe always felt strange at the thought of you with someone from his team. In fact, he told you it would feel similar, liking one of his blood brothers. "No, It didn't. It never will."
"Don't worry, I'll get it out of you somehow." You assured.
"Good luck with that." He says, shaking his head.
"I'm guessing you're not going to leave until I agree to ride with you, huh?" You inquired as you observed him comfortably lean back into the sofa. He took up the majority of the space, sitting there with his legs wide open and one arm stretched out.
God, you were supposed to be mad at him. But him sitting there looking like that your grudge is becoming fruitless.
"You guessed right. I'm not leaving here without you." He clarifies keeping his eyes trained on you. His gaze has been possessing since the moment he walked in. You heart skips a beat it was a look you certainly wasn't used to coming from him.
Lord give me strength. You thought while swallowing as you focus your attention back on your food.
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The humming engine and music faintly played in the background filled the silence in the car. As Joe drove along the highway, one hand on the wheel, the other was picking at his lip. It's about an hour into the ride, and you have yet to indulge in a full conversation with him, only talking in a monotone, giving him occasional one-worded responses, and even answering with "k". He knew you were on some petty payback plan and had every right to be. Back at your condo, he thought maybe the food he'd bring will soften you up to him and it did, but only for a moment. As soon as you two hit the road, you were disconnected from him. Now he was left feeling pretty angsty, never have you two been on a quieter ride in your entire life, especially on a road trip. He really fucked up. With a sigh, he took snuck a peek at you and was met with the most endearing sight.
As your head rested against the window, hands crossed and eyelids hanging low, you stared ahead dazed. Sleep was just a few seconds away. Soft puffy lips he'd dreamt of kissing so many times were slightly parted. The wind that was coming through the window was blowing you long coils all around, you looked ethereal. And even more so in that dress, he wonders if Malik ever had the chance to see you in it or if was he the first person to witness such beauty. Sundresses were never your go-to summer fit so probably.
He came to the realization that you had taken off your sweater and that the strap of your dress had fallen off your shoulder revealing more of the swell of your breast. That's when he saw them. Tiny parallel streaks of thinned glossy skin printed on the slope of your breast. Stretch marks. He'd heard you complain about them to your girlfriends over the phone one time calling the marks ugly.
How so wrong you were. He felt they made you more enticing. Lifelike even. They were an everyday beauty of something he'll like to see often. Striking and heavenly just like you.
The sound of a loud horn pulls him away from his stare.
"Shit!" He cursed loudly placing both hands on the wheel as the angry driver of the semi-truck blew their horn again.
You jerked up in surprise a shriek left your lips as the car narrowly avoid contact.
"Jesus! Joey are you trying to kill us?!" You shouted, heart, feeling like it was ready to burst from your chest.
"Sorry, I kind of spaced out." He replied. His face beat red not sure if it was from almost crashing or the embarrassing fact that you were the reason he was distracted. You were quite literally going be the death of him.
"You're red." You stated with a frown of concern. "Are you okay? Do you want me to drive?"
"No! I'm fine, really." He clears his throat keeping his eyes forward. "Just the heat is getting to me I guess."
The window was immediately rolled up and you reached for the console control panel, where you tapped the ventilation system and selected 'fast air conditioning' without saying a word.
It was something any normal person would do if they were in the middle of a heat wave, however, since he knew you always preferred to have your window down. He didn't bother turning on the air.
Silence filled the car for the next few minutes with Joe's attention fully on the road with a faint smile.
You notice. "What's that grin for?"
"You called me Joey."
"And?" You said wanting him to elaborate more.
"That means you aren't mad at me anymore. Whoohoo!" He cheered taking one hand off the wheel to reach over and enthusiastically shake your shoulder.
Your tongue poked the inside of your cheek trying not to smile at his over-the-top celebration. "Yeah, well, after nearly experiencing death I thought maybe holding a grudge isn't the best way to go out."
"Now who's the one being dramatic? We weren't going to die I had it under control."
"Lost in your thoughts so much you almost crashed is having it under control?" You raised an eyebrow watching him struggle to answer. "What were thinking about anyway?"
You, as always. He thinks.
"How much you were right about me." He says and then fell silent.
He could practically hear the gears in your head turning.
"What do you mean?"
Taking a deep breath his gaze remains on the road. " I didn't like the fact you were with Malik. "
"Why?" Your tone had a sense of hopefulness to it as if you were expecting him to say something.
"Because," He paused thinking over the next words that were going to leave his mouth before continuing to say. " I was stuck into thinking he was the same person from high school and I didn't want my best friend with someone who would hurt her in the end."
Joe missed the way your face dropped with disappointment.
"Well, he didn't."
"I heard. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Other than the fact I'm back to square one, I'd say I'm feeling fine." You said bitterly crossing your arms.
"Don't sweat it, the right one will come." He said.
You scoff. "Easy for you to say, you got people flocking to you left to right."
"Oh, and you don't?Superbowl girl" Joe teased.
You groaned out loud at him referring to the time you went viral for attending the Superbowl the camera broadcast you for millions to see for five seconds. Within a short period of time, you gained followers and thirsty users in your direct messages. For some reason, people thought you were attractive at that moment looking concerned for Joe as he lay on the ground withering in pain.
"You just had to bring that up." You said shaking your head with a smile.
Joe's chuckle erupts throughout the car. " I'm just saying I'm not the only one here whose dms looks like a thirst fest."
A laugh left your lips and he felt his heart swell. Even your laugh was beautiful. It was light and laced with amusement.
"You were right too you know." He looks over at you in confusion causing you to elaborate more. "Things didn't turn out the way I wanted."
"Like I said, don't sweat it. They will soon enough."
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You and Joe continued joking, laughing, recalling nostalgic memories for the rest of the ride until you eventually arrived at a modern style lodge cabin. It wasn't over the top luxurious or anything but you can tell that it's sleek and spacious while still having a cozy atmosphere. With the car parked, you immediately got out and stretched while Joe circles around the car to retrieve the bags out the trunk.
"This looks peaceful." You comment looking at the cabin. The mellow glow of the evening sunset made it look extra harmonious.
"And isolated," Joe adds with a sigh.
"Sounds like you got a problem with that." You began to head for the walkway up to the cabin.
"I do." He says walking alongside you toward the entrance of the lodge each hand carrying his and your travel bag. "Easier for us to get killed. Next time I'm picking where we go, not my mom."
"I'll be sure to tell her that." You said in a sly tone.
"Don't you dare." He warned cutting his eye over to you.
Before you could say anything else the front door opens abruptly revealing Joe's mom in all her glory. A smile on her face when she spots you two climbing up stairs of the porch.
"Finally you both are here, I was afraid you guys got lost or something." She said ushering you both in.
Upon entering you were met with a bright and open generous space, with high ceiling and cedar wood construction walls. The entrance of the cabin is connected to the kitchen which is sleek and spacious. It also smelt of Joe's mom infamous meatloaf that has your stomach rumbling. From where you were standing you could into the grand living space that features a dramatic stone fire place and floor-to-ceiling windows. Next door is a formal dining area with the view of the back patio. If you had the option to live here you would gladly take it.
"We almost did. Since someone wanted to tell me about a shortcut they seen on Google maps." Joe not so subtly cut his eye over to you.
"You took that wrong turn,not me." You shot back remembering the moment of frustration when he misheard the direction he was given.
"And let's not forget we wouldn't be standing here at all because someone wanted to daydream behind the wheel." You added.
"What?!" His mom turn her head in direction.
"It was nothing I had it under control." Joe said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Jesus, you know what next time we are all going in one vehicle."
"Speaking of next time, he said that you-"
"Ahem!" Out of nowhere Joe started to fake cough uncontrollably.
"You okay honey?"
"Yeah m'fine." He said clearing his throat. You wheeze out a chuckle that didn't go unnoticed by Joe who squints his eyes in your direction when his mom turned her back.
"Well anyway, your father and brothers went out to grab firewood for the firepit tonight. I'll show you both your room so you guys can get settled in." She says walking out the kitchen.
You didn't miss the way she said "room" instead of rooms and apparently Joe didn't either,
"We're sharing a room?"
"Yeah, when I initially thought y/n wasn't going I ended up booking a cabin that fit all of us."
You hated the way your stomach flutter with excitement and nervousness. Sharing a room with Joe was frequent when you were younger was easier and less nervous now as you are a full grown adult with feelings It feels like a dream and nightmare at the same time.
His mom lead you both to the other side of the house , passing the spiral stairs you thought you were going in the direction of. Instead she stops at the only bedroom located in the back of the house on the first level.
"Okay here we are!" She exclaims opening the door revealing a spacious rustic bedroom with wooden ceiling and walls, two large floor-to-ceiling windows faced the direction of the lake. You would've admired it more if the only bed in the room didn't capture your attention.
A faint ding of a timer goes off in a distance.
"That must be my dinner rolls. Get settled in you two!" A smile was thrown your way before she rushes out the room her kitten heeled sandals clicks loudly against the hardwood floor.
There was a pregnant pause as Joe silently walks over to the cushion storage bench to set your bags down. You examine more of the room, specifically to busy yourself from acknowledging the big fat elephant. For the life of you it felt like you couldn't tame your racing heart, sharing a bed with Joe was the last thing you needed in order to get rid of your feelings for him. There's no way you'll be able to get through the night.
"Looks like we got our own bathroom." Joe spoke, snapping you away from your racing thoughts.
You turned in his direction to see him walking inside the adjacent bathroom. Oddly enough you notice he didn't mention anything about the single bed. Clearly it wasn't a big deal for him and it should put you at ease however it raised even more questions. Is he expecting you to protest? Look for another place to sleep?
"Really? That's cool." You said trying to appear nonchalant as possible.
When he steps out the bathroom you see him look at the bed with a grimace. "Nope, absolutely not."
You felt like your heart fell down to your stomach in despair. It was because of you isn't it? Of course he doesn't want to share a bed with you he probably feels weird.
"What is it?" You asked in a quiet tone, pretending to take interest in the outside world.
He clearly sees you has someone who he didn't want to be that close and intimate with.
"It has too many pillows."
Oh.
You looked over and he was right; the king size bed were mostly filled with different sizes of pillows. Before you knew it he began to toss some of them at the foot of the bed.
"Is that necessary?"You asked standing near the opposite side of the bed.
"There going to end up on the floor anyway seeing that m' gonna be dealing with a wild sleeper tonight." He said with a teasing smile.
"I am not a wild sleeper." You said in denial.
"Sure," He sarcastically rolling his eyes.
"Well, you snore so I'll be dealing with that."
"What? No I don't."
"Do, too. You snore like your dad whenever he nods off in his comfy chair." You laughed.
He slowly licks his lips before pressing them together as an attempt to hide his smile and keep a straight face.
"Take that back right now."
"Nope. You sound exactly like this—" You said before mimicking the obnoxious loud sounds you once heard coming from him.
Seemingly out of nowhere he makes his way around the bed launching for you, quick. A shriek left you as he got a hold on you his hands latches their way to your sides fingers wiggling alongside your ribcage. Immediately bubbly laughter left you as you tried to get away not prepared the way his fingers danced around your weak spots.
"Joey! Stop!" You laughed as you fall laying on your back on the bed.
"Take it back." He playfully scolded. His hand moves down towards your stomach the place where he knows you're the most sensitive.
"Noho!"
"You know I haven't given these to you for awhile so you've asked for it now." He chuckles as you try to capture and stop his hands.
"W-wait, hold on!" You yell out rolling on to your sides as you try to move away. The fact that you could very well be revealing everything that underneath your dress wasn't a factor in that moment.
All you could think about the sensations you were experiencing and Joe's laugh in the air mixed with yours.
He began to tickle all over your neck and collarbone, your hands struggled to capture him in order to stop his movements. Soon you broke out in silent laughter. Tears forming at the corner of your eyes at the intensity of his tickles.
"S-s-stop it Joey!" You said in between giggles.
"Or what?" He taunts, pausing his movements.
"You really don't want to know." Your voice was giggly and non-threatening whatsoever.
"Oh yeah?" He said before his hands went back to work.
Your reaction is immediate, a shriek of laughter fell from your lips, legs flailing up causing your dress to rise more likely flashing Joe but you didn't care as you tried to pry his fingers away. 
"Oh,my god. I can't breathe" You said.
He laughed. "Yes you can. Just say sorry and I'll stop."
"Wait,stop, joey."
"That's not sorry." He said.
"Okay! I'm sorry!" You gave in, just as his hand went to your thigh to continue the torture. Tiny droplets of tears rolled down your cheeks, which were weakly wiped away as you were still on the high of laughter.
As he hovers over you on the bed, his hands stop. While catching your breath, you realized the position you were in. Joe was on top of you with one leg caged in between yours, his small diamond chain dangling in front of your face. Relax, calm yourself. Even though you were telling yourself to refocus, that was easier said than done. Because as soon as your eyes met his, the same look he had given you at your condo appears yet again. The same covetous gaze you tried to justify.
He's staring at you like he wants you. Does he want me? You wondered full of hope.
Your heart will stop when he says what he says next.
"You have the most beautiful smile."
You've been complimented before by Joe. However, it has never been done with so much passion and desire. It was shocking and exciting. Especially from someone you never would've thought would speak to you that way. That someone who is your best friend.
But a friend just wouldn't look at you in the way he is now.
"Um, uh, thanks." You stammered out.
He smiles sheepishly. " Hope m' not making you feel weird."
With his large frame leering over you with his arms propping himself up on either side of your head along with that look. Feeling weird wouldn't even be on the list of the thing you're experiencing right now.
"You're fine." You said getting warm.
He opens his mouth to say something but the sound of loud voices could be heard down the hall. The sound of his dad and brothers voices.
Immediately he gets up as you follow suit adjusting your dress which had risen up quite high.
"I'm gonna go see if they need help with the firewood." He said before abruptly leaving the room quite flustered himself and was looking everywhere but you.
As the day progressed, you and Joe were in a state of awkwardness and uncertainty. As a result, you had allowed yourself to ignore the obvious tension and converse with his family throughout dinner. You couldn't help but glance at Joe, who was already staring at you before quickly averting his gaze elsewhere. However awkward it may have been for you, you can't now deny that he was at least attracted to you.
It had your head spinning and heart skipping. Yet you couldn't help but to feel confused as to why. Was it the dress? Or did he got caught up in the moment? The questions were embedded within your mind later on in the evening when you found yourself sitting around the fire, everyone was stuffed from dinner and delicious pumpkin pie all except Joe who is on his second serving of the dessert. Voices and laughter overbearing the crackling of the fire as you sat silent enjoying the nature and atmosphere around you.
You were brought out your thoughts by soft weight being layed upon your exposed shoulders.
"Hey, cover up with this ,honey it looks like your freezing." You turn your head to Joe's mom wrapping a chunky knit blanket around you.
"Thank you." You said in relief, she was right with the temperature drastically dropping down your thin dress was fruitless against the night weather. "Whatcha got there?"
"A guide of all the things we can go to and do tomorrow" She said taking a seat next to you in the empty camp chair a small pamphlet in her hand. "There's a winery and flower farm I think would be great to visit."
"That seems fun." You would actually agree to go anywhere, it hasn't even been an entire day yet you could feel yourself catching cabin fever already.
"Oh! I meant to ask if you were comfortable with the room situation? If you're not I can always make one of these goofballs room with each other." She gesture towards Joe and his brother who were joking around with each other.
"I don't mind it." You said and immediately cringing at how fast you answered.
"Good, maybe this be will your opportunity to confess your feelings to him ." She blurted out.
Your head whipped in her direction so quick you were surprised it didn't snap. "W-what?"
" The looks were giving at him during dinner alone gives it away, honey."
You wanted to be mendacious and deny. Though it would be pointless as one, you wouldn't come across as believable and two, she wouldn't buy it either way. To be cautious you took a glance in Joe's direction he was still engrossed in his conversation with his brother, it brought you a huge relief he didn't hear anything that was said. You would've probably died from embarrassment.
"It's that obvious huh?" You said with chuckle.
"He feels the same way to you know." She says casually. "You guys just needs to stop dancing around before it hurts you both."
"I don't want to risk ruining our friendship." You muttered, staring ahead at the fire. You knew your friendship is valued and didn't want it to end because you misinterpreted things with Joe.
"He is very attached to you, so I don't think that will happen."
Before you could utter another word a droplet falls from the sky and lands on your cheek followed by another. Soon came the sound of pounding thunder in a distance. Everyone immediately got up from their seats and began to scramble inside. Once you were away from the rain it seem everyone went their separate ways to call it a night.
After saying goodnight to Joe's parents you and him both proceeded to head towards your shared room. The room you'd been given that has one bed. There wasn't a single word uttered once you entered the room and has you walked over to your bag to fish out your pajamas which is a oversized looney tunez t-shirt gifted by the man himself and a pair of pajamas pants....which is not packed. Your eyes widened, the pajamas pants you were sure you packed weren't there.
You searched frantically in the bag hoping you may have overlooked but came up empty handed, except your underwear and t-shirt. God this is going to be awkward.
"What's wrong?" Joe asked taking off his shoes as a distressed sigh leaves your lips.
"Nothing I just forgot something." You mumbled out quickly going inside the bathroom to do your nightly routine.
Another deep sigh left you when you shut the door behind you and turned on the lights. The bathroom is fairly spacious with an elegant rustic style that goes along with the rest of the cabin. Typical personal care products and essentials are splayed throughout. When you got finished admiring you walked toward the huge walk-in shower. You knew the water controls would cause you a headache just by looking at it. And it did after several attempts of learning you finally got to your right temperature and soon as you stepped in before shutting the glass door the heated water soon soothes your tense muscles. The Steam rose to the ceiling clouding above your head, and the sweet fragrance of your body wash filled the space around you as you gently rub it against your skin.
As you got lost lathering your thoughts began to drift to the conversation you had with Joe's mom.
He feels the same way too you know
No, you in fact don't know, aside from the moment earlier you don't ever remember Joe looking at you with any interest.
It was hard to not take Joe's mom's word though. Especially since she's the person who knows him well and through. Now you started to question his real reason for disliking Malik. Was he just jealous the entire time? Just the thought made you happy and feel lightheaded.
You begin to hum to try to take your mind off the speculation and forced yourself to think of something else.
Finally, after what felt like forever, you turned the shower off and stepped onto the fluffy mat. You quickly dried off and lather your body before slipping on your underwear and t-shirt. Sighing, you glanced in the massive rectangular mirror, mentally wincing at how the shirt came down to your mid-thigh. Fingers brush over the tiny stretch marks that are splayed on the side of your thighs. Deep down, you knew nothing was wrong with them and that it was natural and inevitable. But you couldn't help to think about Joe's reaction to them. Would he find it strange?
You shook your head mentally scolding, hating yourself for getting sprung over what a man thinks of your body. No matter who it is, you were raised better than that.
When you emerged from the bathroom along with steam. You find Joe sitting down on the end-of-a-bed bench with a full bowl of popcorn and a remote in his hand as he stares at the TV. He turns his head in your direction when he sees you walk past him swiftly to put your discarded clothes away.
"What's all this?" You asked after zipping your bag, gesturing toward the bowl.
"Isn't it obvious? I owe you a movie night." He says quite proudly.
"Hm , I thought it was stupid?" You said tugging down the shirt as you walk over to the bed.
"What I said was stupid" He shakes his head. "I'm doing this as a part of making it up to you."
There goes that look again....
"So what do you have in mind?" You climb on the bed careful not to flash your underwear and layed by the end of the bed flat on your stomach.
"I was thinking you pick while I'm in the shower?" He holds out the remote for you to take which you gladly did.
"Don't mind if I do." You muttered, immediately going to horror. It was the perfect setting a horror movie night anyway, deserted cabin, heavy rain and thunder.
"No horror movies!" He adds standing up and getting ready to head into the shower.
"Scaredy cat." You called out right as the bathroom door shuts behind him.
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Thirty minutes later, Joe returns from the steamy bathroom with just sweatpants and a towel drying his wet hair. In the same position, he spots you laughing at your phone most likely at a tiktok video . Your eyes caught his gaze and you sit upright turning off your phone. He gulps suddenly becoming nervous, it's been awhile since you've shared a room and the first time to actually share a bed together. For the longest he's dreamt of this. The love he has for you is too strong to ignore the situation and act like everything is fine.
"Superbad or The Hangover?" You asked keeping your eyes on him as he got situated on the bed next to you.
He ponders for a second before saying. "Um, Superbad, haven't seen that one in awhile."
The wind continues to howl as the rain pours down harshly outside when you press play. He pretends not to notice the brush of your elbow, despite being in a fairly large bed you two were in close proximity both sitting up with your backs on the headboard. In his peripheral vision, he secretly stares at your side profile looking for any sign of discomfort about the fact your lying in the same bed. Instead he sees you focused on the TV laughing without a care in the world. Your relaxed state automatically makes him feel the same way. No big deal. It's just like sleeping by himself, and he's willing to pretend he's alone. Yet how can that be possible when he is in fact not alone and is joined by you—the person he's head over heels for in just a t-shirt? No doubt it will be a challenge.
"That was you in high school." You nudged him before pointing towards the screen which splayed Michael Cera's character Evan awkwardly talking to Becca.
He scrunches his nose. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that."
"Am I wrong though? Remember Emily Robinson from study hall?" You questioned with a teasing smile adorned on your face. "She pretty much threw herself you at every given chance and you were totally oblivious. "
"The opposite is true, I wasn't oblivious." He said with honesty.
Confusion filled your eyes as you furrowed your eyebrows. "What? You're lying!"
"I promise you I'm not." He chuckles throwing his hands up in defense. " I knew she liked me, I just didn't know how to tell her off."
As you shake your head, you exclaim, "Oh, that's so hard to believe."
"And why's that?"
"That's the case with virtually every girl who shows interest in you."
He shrugs. "Or who knows maybe it's because I'm always looking at someone else."
"That's a possibility." You said in a quiet tone completely unaware how he looked at you while saying that.
The irony of teasing him about his obliviousness and failing to see how deeply in love he is with you is quite funny. Outside eyes are already taking notice of what is happening. Why couldn't you? She's waiting for you to make the first move his mother would say and he prays to god she's right.
For the rest of the night you spent watching a couple more films as the storm outside turns into light drops of rain. It was 2am when you both decided to finally call it a night, after flickering off the TV you cautiously tucked yourself underneath the covers Joe is currently under. There's a generous amount of space between you as you faced away from each other, tension arises as the only sound in the room is the plattering of the rain.
By a slight whisper you wished him a goodnight.
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As your body rolls over yet again for the millionth time, you let out a frustrated sigh. Sleep seemed so close yet so far away. You've tried practically every method from counting sheep over the fence to creating fake scenarios, all of which include the man sleeping next to you. And still nothing . This type of restless night drives you crazy, sleeping in an unfamiliar setting causes this and because you can't help but to still process you're sleeping in the same bed as Joe, so your mind couldn't help but wonder.
You kicked majority of the blankets off your body hoping that some coolness would ease your mind into exhaustion. Again, nothing. Feeling completely hopeless you sat up, eyes looking around as if you could make out anything in the pitch darkness the only thing that's visible is the alarm clock on the nightstand that reads 3:30am.
Movement beside you caught your attention as Joe rolls over on his stomach. You couldn't distinguish which direction his head was turned as you laid back down as an idea came to you.
It's worth a shot, hopefully he'll take pity on you.
"Joey?" You whispered.
No response of course, you said it so low you practically mouthed it. You were still debating on whether you should wake him up or not. It's selfish and quite frankly inconsiderate you know this. Especially since you're ruining someone else's good night sleep for you own gain. But you're desperate and can't go to sleep so you call out his name again a bit more louder.
"Joey?" This time you reach over to softly poke at his bare shoulder. Since when did he take off his shirt?
"Yeah?" He responds , in a voice that sounds nothing like he'd just been woken up.
"Are you awake?" You ask , dumb question. Of course he's awake, sounds like he's been up this entire time.
A slight chuckle comes from him. "No, I'm asleep."
"How long have you been up?" You mumbled.
"Since you start fidgeting"
So about an hour. Damn.
"Sorry , I can't go to sleep." You said sheepishly.
Suddenly, there is silence and you believe he has fallen asleep until you feel him shift closer to you. Your back is facing him, and you are so glad it was because you got flustered instantly. He lifted the blankets up and said softly. "C'mere"
Well fuck, there's no way you're going to be getting any sleep tonight.
Without saying a word you shift under his arms, his bare chest pressed against your back as you got situated. A sigh of content escapes you as Joe practically engulfs you in his embrace. He feels so warm,big,and strong. His arm pulls you in tighter which you had no problem with. This is definitely not what best friends do.
What is this?
"Are you comfortable?" He asked you could feel his lip on the shell of your ear and the urge to turn around to lock lips is strong.
Swallong thickly you nod your head. "I am, didn't think you're the cuddle type Joey."
"M'not but I know you are." He says.
That's true. Almost everyone knows you're a fan of cuddles, so much in fact you sleep with a body pillow at home.
"Well, thank you." You said in a way to be grateful as you trace over the multiple prominent veins on his hand in front of you. You wished to see the size comparsion to your hand and his but you could feel it. So big just like the entirety of him.
You weren't blind you'd seen how Joe has grown into his muscular frame since the Superbowl, the countless workouts really pays off as his arms and chest became more defined. Which you are more than lucky enough to be currently cradled in. Reality hits hard at the situation. Joe is cuddling you right now, full on koala hugging you from behind. You always wondered was it'll be like to be smothered in his arms, close to his body, you never thought you'd see the day.
During your enjoyment of mindlessly playing with his hand, you can feel his heart beating against your back. As if he were nervous or scared. As you furrow your eyebrows, you open your mouth to ask him what's wrong when he grabs your hand and laces it with his.
"I need to tell you something." He says quietly, gripping your hand with firmness.
You tilted your head in his direction with concern. "Everything okay?"
"Not really." He chuckles slightly but it was far from sounding amusing, it was more of a nervy laugh. "You know, I care about you alot. We've been friends since forever and what I'm about to say could possibly ruin that."
"What are you—?"
"I lied earlier," He interrupts causing you to frown.
Lied about what?
"In the car, I told you I was being distant because I didn't want Malik to break your heart." He swallowed heavily, before continuing, "That wasn't entirely true. I just didn't like seeing you with him...or with anybody else."
Time seemed to have slowed down and the air became thicker. Your heartbeat increased, and your stomach twists immediately. However with all those things happening it didn't stop you from uttering out a blatant "W-what?"
It's hard for you to comprehend that he's basically confessing his feelings for you. So long you've hoped and dreamt about this exact moment.
"I want you to be mine and I don't want you to be with anyone else." He sits up leaning on his elbow his other arm is still wrapped around your waist and fingers still laced with yours. "I hate to sound cheesy like those cliché rom coms you make me watch—" He laughs before continuing. "But I'm really in love with you, it's to the point where I can't stop thinking about you."
Happiness bloomed inside you and you felt a sudden flare of relief. Joe—the man you've been in love with—just confessed his feelings. Your heart has been daring to hope that he feels the same way for a while, even though you've convinced yourself that it's not possible.
Holy shit.
"You really love me?" You said gripping his hand tightly.
He leaned down to rest his chin on your shoulder. "I do, so much."
"I love you too," You smiled when you heard him a sigh of relief. Your hand slips from his as you reach up to caress his jawline. "I have for a long time actually. Took you long enough."
You feel him smile and lean against your hand. Just when you thought everything couldn't possibly get better, he opens his mouth and asks a question you've been waiting for so long.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?"
The excitement unfolded like a flower as you nodded your head. And before you know it his mouth is on yours. He's passionate and fierce as if he'd been stranded in a desert in need of a drink and you were that cold glass of water he found and drank so desperately. His tongue traces over your bottom lip before slipping into your mouth wasting no time exploring every inch. You moan as his tongue intensifies swirling against yours , while doing so his hand grips your waist holding you against him.
That's when you feel it. The hardness prodding on your lower back, you could feel it through the thin fabric of your t-shirt which had risen dangerously high.
Pulling away, he kisses you from your jaw to your neck, gently sucking while you gasp, wrapping an arm around his neck as you enjoy the feel of his lips. Under the thick blanket, his hips are pressed against yours, keeping you in a state of shock. He felt massive and thick. And you want more of it.
"I want to touch you." His words are muffled due to his never ending kisses on your neck. "Can I touch you? Hm?"
"Yes, please do." As soon as you gave him the go he takes his hand from your waist and travels down to your expose thigh gently massaging it cherishing how soft you feel. You sigh in contentment, eyes fluttering shut when his hand goes underneath your shirt and go upwards to cup your left breast.
Taking you completely by surprise he rubs your breast before trailing back down to the hem of your underwear where he slips fingers inside. You let out a whimper when his fingertips glides over the area you wanted him the most. His body tense when he felt your arousal that was practically soaking his hand. Tiny moans escape your lips as he circles your sensitive clit, your hips immediately start to squirm.
"Keep still." He groans, his forehead dropping down to rest on the back of your shoulder. You weren't aware that the more you squirm the arch in your back goes deeper, essentially grinding your ass against his hardness.
"I can't, not when you're touching me like this." You murmur hand clutching his forearm where you could feel the muscles flexing with every strum that his fingers makes.
"Fuck!"He grunts breathlessly as your hips continues to move. There's no way he going to cum like this as much as you're making him feel absolutely good he was ready to explode at any given moment by the movement of your hips.
He takes his hand out of your underwear much to your dismay letting out a sound of disappointment he quickly repays you with a kiss on the lips before sitting up yanking the covers off the both of you tossing it to the side.
"Roll over on your back for me." He commanded.
You follow his order, finally coming face to face even though you're in almost complete darkness the outline of his body and features were visible to you. The diamonds from his chain certainly stood out as well. He grabs both of your legs and spread the wide getting situated between them.
"Lift up your shirt all the way." He said quietly, almost at a whisper.
You could feel your sould take flight as a unsuspected feeling of realization consumed you. This isn't a dream, Joe is really here in between your thighs ready to fuck you in the most delicious way possible. No amount of words could explain how happy and eager you feel.
When you finished taking off your shirt he wasted no time bending down attaching his lips on your tits, the coldness of his chain grazes your warm skin causing you to shiver. His tongue flicks and licks around the hardness of your nipple before he gently sucks.
"Hmmm Joey." You moan grasping the back of his head, not knowing what felt more good his tongue or the fact his cock is being pressed against your aching pussy.
Another moan escapes from you when he strokes his hips against you rubbing right on your clit and causing you to be blinded by pleasure. His hair tickles your chin when he switches over to your other breast giving it the same attention. It took everything in you to keep your moans at a lower level, still mindful of the fact you're doing this under the same roof as his family. The last thing you wanted is for one of them to come down and interrupted your intimate session. God , you would never show your face again.
Joe detaches his lips with an audible 'pop' leaving your skin glazed and sit up on his knees while his hands grips your underwear and swiftly pulls it down. Lifting up both of your legs together he takes your panties off completely. Now you're on full display, laying there letting him venerate every inch of your body. For some reason you didn't have the urge to shy away or cover up like you did with past lovers ,no, you are ready for him to see and cherish you including the imperfections.
"You have the softest skin. So beautiful." He mumbled lowering his head to kiss by your hips trailing down to your inner thighs peppering extra kisses on your beauty marks. Joe lifts his head up for a moment grabbing a spare pillow handing it over to you. "You might wanna hold on to that, m'not gonna be able to contain myself."
Without giving it a second thought you wrap both arms around the pillow when he hitches both your legs over his shoulder. His mouth is on you in seconds, low groans leaves his lips as he engulfs his tongue over your folds and run it on your clit where he sucks and massages.
"Oh, my god!" Your words muffle due to your mouth on the pillow. And your hips tries to come up from the bed but they don't have the chance because Joe's hand immediately reaches out to slam you back down.
He takes your legs off his shoulders and held them down each flat on the bed, spreaded wide, his hand on holding down your thighs firmly. The intrusion of his tongue slipping inside you takes you by surprise, a loud raw moan wanted to desperately get out but all you could muster up is a whimper. Eyes closing shut, your legs started to shake at the intense pleasure.
Messy smacking and slurping noise could be heard underneath your heavy breathing, the way he's eating you is borderline sensual yet unhinged. He left no parts untouched, you could feel wetness pool beneath you. Which turns you on even more.
A familiar heat is burning inside at the pit of your stomach and you knew that it'll only be a matter of time you gush out your release.
"M' gonna cum." You sob out in a whisper, twisting your upper body to the side slightly.
Joe pulls away yet again and you swore you were seconds away from reaching down to finish yourself off. However when Joe releases his hold on you and reaches down to take off his sweatpants that idea is immediately gone.
He carries a throbbing cock beneath the thin happy trail; it slaps against the lower abdomen where a prominent vein runs from his tip to his thick shift. There is no way you could deny that you are a little intimidated; the sheer size of him had you gulping.
He settles back in between your thighs, this time lifting your left leg on his shoulder. That's when he notices it, the diamond peice anklet, a smile adorns his face when he pressed a kiss on your ankle. His eyes focuses back on you drinking in your needy state, the pillow he gave you is clenched in your grip with anticipation.
Not wanting for you to wait any longer, he spits loudly into his palm before wrapping around his hand around his length, slick noise of the sound of him jerking could be heard.
Gripping your left leg as your right curls around his waist, he aligned his tip to meet your seeping wet entrance you shuddered feeling a slightly burn from being stretched out.
"It's okay, take a deep breath for me, you gotta relax" He assures you noticing the way your muscles tensed. The last thing he want is for you to be uncomfortable.
You force your eyes to be transfixed on the digital clock on the nightstand as you focus on taking deep breaths for a few seconds. Once it became tolerable and no longer confining he involuntary pushes his hips forward going deeper. As soon as he did that you tighten around him. His face contorts into an expression of pleasure, pressure on your thigh is coming from his hand that grips it tightly. You can tell he was holding himself back from fully pounding into you relentlessly.
His thrusts are slow and impactful. Moans after moans continues to leave your lips.
"Faster Joey, I want you to go faster." You said mindlessly body jerking up at every stroke of his hips.
"You sure?" He asks.
You nodded and he pressing his lips together taking hold of your waist when he slams into hard and fast. Your left leg is still on his shoulder when he leans down to lock his lips with yours silencing your moans. The pillow you were gripping is tossed to the side as you find stability in clutching on to Joe's biceps, digging your nails into his skin.
"Fuck Joey!" You cried out as his tip kept hitting your sweet spot. Faint sounds of skin smacking filled the air along with the sound of your wetness. "O-oh my g-god, you feel so good!"
"You like that baby?" He asked, his chain is brushing against your chin with every stroke.
"Mmhmm, I love you so much." Eyes rolling to the back of your head at the constant pleasure, he fucks you even harder thrust filled with passion. You were on the brink of letting out a scream of pleasure, stopping you from doing so you leaned and sink your teeth into his shoulder.
You can feel your stomach tighten when you felt a strong deep pleasure within. A surge ready to be released.
"Cum for me, just let go." He reaches his hand down and plays with your clit. You let out a mixture of a whimper and sob, your back arching, legs still, eyes fluttering, and jaw slack. The feeling you're experiencing felt otherworldly, it has you in disbelief. He fucks you through it nicely with slowed thrusts before pulling out, your left leg slips off his shoulder and lies limp.
"Oh my god." You breathed out placing a hand on your temple as you try to find your train of thought. He quite literally fucked you stupid.
"You still with me?" He a smile titling at the corner of his mouth. A hum in response is all he got. Once you have officially recovered, he orders you to lie on your side. Confused, you turn to the right facing the direction you were in earlier. As Joe kneels in between your legs, he straddles your right thigh and lifts your left leg to curl around his left hip. Almost before you can process the position, he enters you and starts to devour you.
Your tits bounces rapidly at his merciless hips slam into you over and over again. It wasn't long before they're being groped by Joe who pants heavily above you, a low moan coming from him occasionally.
He hovers over your quivering body with a bruising grip on your hips. His pace is sharp, quick, and so deep you felt dizzy with never ending pleasure as your sensitive body takes in everything that he's giving to you.
"J—mhgh" You couldn't fathom any coherent words as you began to feel overstimulated. This position he has you in makes you feel like you're being fucked beyond your limits.
Joe notices your hands blindly searching for anything to cling to and releases your breasts from his hold. His hands completely engulfs yours as he laces them back together place them on either side of your head.
A couple more thrusts followed and you've approached your second orgasm. Way more intense than the first , so intense you've made a mess on Joe's lower stomach matting down his happy trail and coating the both of you with your essence.
"Shit," He grunts out feeling the aftermath of your orgasm, pace becoming sloppy as he's rapidly approaching his release. He pulls out abruptly ready to fist his soaking cock when you stopped him.
"I wanna do it." You said sitting up he was still straddling your leg as you reach down to stroke him.
"Fuck fuck fuck" He chants, head leaning forward to rest against your shoulder. He moans your name as his release hits, lips connecting with yours when he's spilling multiple spurts on your hand and even on your chest.
With a sigh you both shared a lazy kiss before plopping down next to each other. There is a moment of contentment instilled in your heart during this time, and you remain there for a moment. Enjoying the presence of the man who just took you into a different realm. It wasn't long before the moisture and stickiness on your skin became a discomfort.
Taking a deep breath you slowly eased out of bed. When your feet planted on the floor your legs buckles slightly.
You hear Joe chuckle in amusement. "Take it easy, huh? Where you going?"
"Shut up, I'm headed to the shower." You blushed holding on to the bed post.
He stands up and walks over to you with a glint in his eye. "I take it you got room for one more?"
Taglist:
@luvjoe9 @idyllicbarb @lonelywiththestars @balanceingrace @maricciardo @joeburreauxsworld @tigertales9 @clumsyjoeb @certifiedlesbianbaddie @cherry2stems
If you want to be apart of the taglist dm me babes!
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void-tiger · 3 months ago
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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brunchable · 27 days ago
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𝙄 𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙
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Part Two Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader Themes: Heavy Mutual Pinining, Heavy Sexual Tension, Longing, Yearning, Right Person-Wrong Time. Friends to Lovers, a bit Angsty but Happy Ending. SMUT: Touch Hungry Bucky, Kiss Hungry Bucky, Bucky being obsessed with tiddies, unprotected piv, creampie. Summary: Bucky can't decide if the universe loves him or hates him. Maybe it loves to hate him. Maybe it's mischievous. Because he’s in love. He’s madly, deeply, painfully in love with a girl that he knows he’ll never have. Because the heavens created arguably the most perfect creature in their repertoire, dangled you in front of him for his entire life, and chose to rip you away before he had the chance to tell you how he felt. A/N: This is a Two Shot, so another one will be coming soon.
tags: @hzdhrtss @winterslove1917 @classicrebound
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The first time it really hits is when you see him with her.
It’s a crowded room, warm bodies pressed close together, the low hum of music barely louder than the thudding in your chest as you watch Bucky Barnes wrap his arm around the waist of a woman you don’t know. 
She’s beautiful, of course—someone you'd expect to be by his side. Her laugh is soft, melting into his as he leans in close, whispering something that lights her face up, his lips brushing her ear like he can’t help himself.
You glance down at your drink, the sudden bitterness pooling in your throat harder to swallow than the wine. You tell yourself to look away, that it’s none of your business who he holds, but you can’t. Every time you look up, he’s there, still wrapped around her, laughing at something she’s said, his hand resting on her back in a way that feels too familiar, too tender. You know that look—the way his fingers splay protectively, pulling her close like she belongs to him. Like he’s finally let someone in.
It’s torture, standing there with a smile plastered on your face, pretending not to notice. Pretending that it doesn’t crush you.
Because when you’re alone—when you’re single—he’s taken. And when he’s got nobody, you do. Every single time. You’ve gotten used to seeing him across rooms, with someone else in his arms, with that look in his eyes that you wish, desperately, could be meant for you.
And he’s always looking at you that same way, that glance just a second too long, that warmth held back by a fragile thread of restraint. Just enough to keep the lines from blurring.
Tonight, he finally looks away.
When he glances up, catches sight of you, his smile falters. For a moment, it’s just the two of you, and something soft flickers in his eyes—something like regret, the same regret you carry. But her hand tightens on his arm, and he turns back to her, his smile returning, wider than before. You hate how easily he can pull away from you, how quickly he can make you feel invisible.
“Hey, Bucky,” you manage, your voice steady though it feels like your chest is caving in.
He looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. 
“Hey.” His gaze drops, and for a second, you think he might actually say something, that he might admit that this hurts him too. But then she shifts closer, and he wraps his arm around her more firmly, giving you a look that’s both a dare and a dismissal.
“This is Emily,” he says, and she gives you a polite, too-sweet smile.
“Oh.” You swallow, forcing yourself to meet her gaze. “I didn’t know… I hadn’t realized you were…” You can’t finish, the words catching in your throat.
“Yeah.” Bucky’s tone is almost too casual, too final. “We’re together.”
The finality of it slices through you, sharp and clean. You nod, trying to hold onto whatever scraps of dignity you have left, but all you can manage is, “Well… congratulations. I’m… I’m glad you’re happy.”
There’s a flicker of something behind his eyes—anger? Hurt? But his jaw tightens, and he nods, looking away as if to spare you. 
“Thanks. I appreciate it,” he says, his voice steady, controlled.
Emily pulls him closer, a satisfied smile curving her lips as she glances at you. 
“He’s incredible, isn’t he?” she says, and there’s a challenge in her tone, a silent declaration that she’s won, that whatever you think you had with him is nothing compared to this. She presses a kiss to his cheek, her fingers curling possessively around his shoulder as she tilts her head, catching his gaze.
“Yeah,” you murmur, your voice hollow. “Yeah, he is.”
And for a brief, desperate second, you think he might look at you—really look at you, see how much this is tearing you apart. But he doesn’t. His gaze is on her, soft and full of warmth, a look he’s given you a thousand times. And it feels like he’s choosing her, like he’s making the decision to let go of whatever fragile orbit kept you two circling each other all this time.
You turn away, trying to hold yourself together, but the ache in your chest is all-consuming, a raw, relentless reminder that he’s moved on. That he’s chosen her.
And as you walk away, you can still hear their laughter, the sound twisting like a knife in your chest, leaving you wondering if he was ever yours to lose.
And then one night, fate flips, and you’re the one with someone new by your side.
It’s been months since you last saw Bucky. You assumed he was out of your life for good, until tonight, when you walk into the cozy warmth of a private dining room in a restaurant, your hand firmly held by your boyfriend Andrew. It’s Steve’s dinner party, a small gathering of friends, and the lighthearted chatter fills the air, mixing with the warm glow from the dimmed overhead lights.
You’re laughing at something your boyfriend said as you step into the room, but your laughter dies in your throat when you see him.
Bucky is seated across the table, leaning back casually in his chair, but the moment his eyes meet yours, a spark flickers there—surprise, mingled with something darker, something that quickens your pulse. You hadn’t expected him to be here tonight, and judging by the way his gaze lingers, he hadn’t expected you either.
Steve stands, grinning as he greets you and Andrew, and you introduce him to everyone. You smile, trying to seem natural as you move around the table, your hand still resting in your boyfriend’s. But it feels wrong, the warmth of your boyfriend’s fingers against yours suddenly strange, like it doesn’t quite belong.
When you reach Bucky, he stands, his jaw tense, his eyes unwavering as he offers a hand to shake. You almost expect him to make some dry remark, to cover up whatever unspoken tension lies between you. But he’s silent as he grips Andrew’s hand firmly, while looking at you. His fingers are steady, a touch too tight, like he’s barely holding something back.
“So, you’re the boyfriend,” Bucky says, his voice calm but laced with something you can’t quite place.
Your boyfriend laughs, unaware of the tension. “Yeah, I am. And you’re the famous Bucky I keep hearing about.”
Bucky’s lips twitch into a half-smile, but his eyes remain cold. 
“I’m sure you have.” He releases your boyfriend’s hand, his gaze shifting back to you, lingering a second too long before he forces himself to look away.
It should feel like a victory—that, for once, you’re the one who’s found happiness while he’s left to watch. But the second you meet his eyes, the air shifts. You feel the weight of everything unspoken, of the years that have passed with both of you just out of reach, orbiting each other but never colliding.
You take your seat next to your boyfriend, aware of every brush of his arm against yours, every gentle squeeze of his hand on your knee under the table. He leans close, murmuring something soft and sweet, and you offer a small smile, but your focus is entirely on Bucky, sitting across the table, his gaze flickering between you and Andrew, his jaw set with that same restrained tension.
As the night wears on, Bucky remains quiet, only contributing here and there to the conversation, but each time he speaks, his words feel weighted, almost directed at you.
“So,” he says, finally breaking the silence, his voice cutting through the chatter, “I’m guessing you’re happy?”
The question is simple enough, but there’s a challenge hidden beneath it, a question he doesn’t ask outright.
“Yes, I am,” you say, your voice firmer than you feel, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. “Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
Your boyfriend glances over, squeezing your hand, unaware of the undercurrents in the room. 
“She’s stuck with me now,” he jokes, nudging you. “No escape.”
You laugh softly, but the sound feels hollow, especially when you catch Bucky’s expression—something dark and raw flashing in his eyes before he schools his features again.
“Good for you both,” Bucky replies, the smile on his face not quite reaching his eyes. “It’s about time.”
There’s a pause, the kind that seems to echo louder than any conversation, and you can feel Bucky’s gaze burning into you, filled with a thousand things he can’t say. Your chest tightens as the weight of everything unsaid settles heavily between you, filling the air with a tension you’re certain everyone can feel.
As people start to leave, you find yourself alone with Bucky by the door. Your boyfriend is across the room, saying goodbyes, and it’s just you and Bucky in the dimly lit entryway, a fragile bubble of space and time.
“So…” His voice is low, almost too soft, his eyes searching yours. “This is it, then?”
There’s a vulnerability in his words that pierces through you, a rawness you’ve never heard before. It’s as if he’s waiting for you to deny it.
You glance away, your voice barely a whisper. “Yep. This is it.”
A shadow crosses his face, and he just stands there, watching you, his gaze heavy. He doesn’t say anything for awhile, his hand lingering just inches from yours, as though he’s contemplating reaching out, breaking whatever boundary lies between you. The air feels thick, and you wonder if he can hear the frantic beat of your heart.
But he lets his hand fall back to his side. 
“Guess there’s nothing left to say,” he murmurs, a bitter edge coloring his voice. His eyes linger on you, as if he’s memorizing every detail, every second of this final, silent goodbye.
You open your mouth, but the words die on your lips, caught between everything you want to say and everything you can’t. You reach out, almost instinctively, but Andrew calls your name from across the room, his voice shattering the fragile stillness.
Bucky’s gaze flickers, and he takes a step back, his expression falling into something guarded. 
“Take care, doll,” he says softly, the words laced with both a goodbye and a promise. His eyes linger on you one last time, and then he’s gone, slipping out into the night.
He’d spent years replacing your lips with so many others, all in an attempt to forget the mark you left on him.
Bucky can't decide if the universe loves him or hates him. Maybe it loves to hate him. Maybe it's mischievous. Because he’s in love. He’s madly, deeply, painfully in love with a girl that he knows he’ll never have. Because the heavens created arguably the most perfect creature in their repertoire, dangled her in front of him for his entire life, and chose to rip you away before he had the chance to tell you how he felt.
× × × × 
Present
It’s one of those nights, another dinner gathering among friends, the kind that’s almost become routine. You’re already seated in the cozy living room, surrounded by the familiar warmth of Steve’s place. The soft glow of lamps and low bable of conversation wrap around you like a comfortable blanket, and for the first time in a long time, you’re truly at ease.
Beside you, Sam nudges your shoulder. 
“Hey Boo,” he says, a teasing smirk tugging at his lips, “remember when you and Bucky were practically attached at the hip? What happened there?”
The question catches you off guard, and you feel warmth creeping up your neck as a few heads turn, curious eyes glancing your way. You roll your eyes, nudging him back. 
“Leave it to you to bring that up, Sam.”
He chuckles, unrelenting. “C’mon, just saying. You two were tight. I mean, tight.”
You let out a small, nervous laugh, feeling the weight of a few more gazes on you, even if they aren’t pushing the question. 
“It’s… complicated,” you finally say, giving him a look that tells him to drop it. But Sam just chuckles, clearly amused, like he knows something no one else does.
“Complicated.” He echoes with a slow nod, a knowing grin spreading. “Right. Complicated.”
“You’re so annoying,” you mutter, barely suppressing a smile, but you can’t deny the fondness in your tone. Sam just winks, nudging you again, and the others quickly move on, the brief moment of attention fading as conversation flows around you.
And that’s when the front door opens, and you hear his voice.
“Sorry I’m late,” Bucky calls out, his deep voice filling the space effortlessly as he steps in, slightly flushed from the cold outside. His eyes scan the room, and the moment they land on you, you swear the air shifts, that it crackles with something electric, something only the two of you seem to feel.
Your heart stumbles over itself as he walks further into the room, tugging off his jacket and offering smiles and nods to everyone. But it’s like a magnetic pull—his eyes keep flickering back to you, and each time it does, your stomach does a nervous, excited flip.
He looks good. Better than good, really. There’s a slight scruff along his jaw, and his hair falls just so, framing his face in a way that makes you want to reach out and touch it. When he finally reaches the empty chair directly across from you, he stops, fingers lingering on the back of it.
“Mind if I sit here?” he asks, his voice low, and there’s something almost hesitant in his eyes, like he’s waiting for permission to be close to you.
You shake your head, trying to keep your cool, even though every part of you is screaming, yes, sit, sit right here and don’t you dare move.
“No, go ahead,” you reply, hoping your voice sounds steady.
He sits, close enough that you could reach out and touch him if you wanted, and the faint scent of his cologne drifts over, warm and familiar, making your head spin.
As he settles in, he leans slightly closer, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Long time no see.”
“Feels that way, doesn’t it?” you murmur, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. Every subtle movement, every small smile he throws your way feels like it’s weaving a thread around you both, pulling you in.
The conversation around you resumes, but it’s like you’re in a bubble, the two of you orbiting each other again. Every so often, his knee brushes yours under the table, just enough to send a shiver up your spine, to make you bite back a smile. His hand rests on the table between you, his fingers drumming absently, and you find yourself staring at them, remembering every time those hands had nearly, almost touched yours.
After a lull in conversation, he clears his throat, glancing at you sideways. 
“So… where’s the boyfriend?” he asks, almost casually, but you catch the underlying question. His tone is light, but his eyes are cautious, searching yours, looking for an answer he can’t ask outright.
You raise a brow, unable to hide the grin pulling at your lips. 
“Well,” you say, tilting your head slightly as you meet his gaze, “the lack of presence should answer your question.”
For a second, Bucky just stares, and then a slow, dawning smile spreads across his face, his whole expression softening, the guardedness falling away. He looks like he’s holding back from saying something, his fingers tapping out a rhythm on the table, his knee pressing just a little more against yours as he leans in.
And before you can think twice, you match his question with your own, barely above a whisper. “And where’s your girlfriend, Bucky?”
“Nonexistent.” he said almost instantly.
His eyes hold yours, and something subtle shifts in them—a hint of a smile playing at his lips, but he doesn’t look away though he plays it off with a small, casual shrug. “Guess I’ve been waiting for the right person.”
You nod, feeling the smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. 
“Nice,” you say, trying to keep it casual, though your heart’s picking up a pace of its own.
“Yeah… nice.” He lets out a quiet chuckle, raising an eyebrow as if he’s catching onto your attempt at nonchalance. 
Deafening silence settles between you, but it’s charged, a silent exchange that makes you feel more breathless than words ever could. Neither of you seems to move, his knee still brushing yours under the table, and it feels like he’s lingering in your space, right on that line between friend and something more. 
You glance around, feeling the tension rise, and blow your bangs out of your eyes, hoping it might ease the knot in your stomach. But when you sneak a look at him, he’s still staring, his gaze solid, unblinking, and suddenly you’re hyper aware of every tiny shift in the air between you. Your cheeks warm, and you look away quickly, pressing your lips together, but it only makes your heart pound harder.
Your cheeks warm instantly, and you quickly look away, focusing hard on the table.
A small smile tugs at his lips, his voice soft. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”
Your pulse quickens, and you swallow, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. 
“Maybe a little,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper.
A spark lights in his eyes, and his smile widens, soft but undeniably mischievous. 
“Good,” he murmurs, his knee pressing just a fraction closer to yours, enough to send a thrill up your spine. “Because, for the record… you make me a little nervous too.”
Your heart does a flip, and you feel a grin tug at your lips despite yourself. 
“I make you nervous?” You try to keep the surprise out of your voice, but he just nods, his gaze intense, that teasing warmth settling over his expression.
“Yeah, you do,” he says, his tone light but honest, like he’s been waiting to say it. “Especially when you look at me like that.”
“Like what?” you ask, barely breathing.
“Like you’re about to bolt… but part of you doesn’t want to.” His voice is low, and his eyes search yours, as if he’s daring you to deny it.
You feel the smile you’ve been holding back break through, your heart racing as the last of the distance between you seems to dissolve. Just as you’re about to respond, a voice calls from the dining room, breaking the tension as everyone calls you both to join.
“Guess we should go, huh?” Bucky lets out a soft chuckle, pulling back just slightly, though his gaze lingers on yours for a heartbeat longer. 
“Yeah,” you manage, feeling a little breathless.
But as you both stand and head to the dining room, his hand brushes yours, just enough for his pinky to link with yours for a brief, secret moment. The warmth of that tiny touch lingers, and you can’t help but feel like something just shifted between you, something new and thrilling, waiting just under the surface.
× × × ×
As you both step into the dining room, Sam raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “There they are,” he teases, his voice just loud enough to draw everyone’s attention. “We were wondering what’s taking so long.”
Heat creeps up your cheeks, and you catch Bucky’s gaze, a subtle, knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips. You feel your pulse quicken, but you don’t say anything, slipping into the room to find only two empty seats—right beside each other.
Bucky gestures to the chair beside him, waiting until you sit before settling in next to you. He settles in beside you, his broad shoulders and steady presence enveloping the space, making you feel smaller.
Conversations swirl around the table, but you’re painfully aware of every tiny shift Bucky makes. The subtle brush of his arm against yours, the steady warmth radiating from his shoulder—it all has your heart racing. His hand rests on the table beside yours, fingers drumming lightly, and your pulse hammers as his knee presses just slightly against yours under the table, a connection so subtle yet electric that it makes your skin tingle.
Then he adjusts his position, angling himself more toward the group—and you. The small movement brings him even closer, and you’re immediately enveloped in his scent, something warm and cedar-like, filling the air around you until it feels almost overwhelming, in the best possible way. You take a slow breath, fighting the urge to close the distance even more, feeling trapped between wanting to be near him and feeling breathless because of it.
As Bucky joins the conversation, you find yourself watching him, captivated by the way he leans in, his voice low and steady, his easy confidence only pulling you in deeper. His lips curve as he speaks, and you can’t help but linger on every detail, the way his eyes light up, the rough timbre of his laugh, every tiny thing about him that’s impossibly distracting.
And then, in the middle of a sentence, his eyes flick back to you, catching you looking. You quickly look away, feeling your cheeks burn as you fixate on your plate, hoping he didn’t notice the way you’d been studying him.
But out of the corner of your eye, you catch the faintest smirk tugging at his lips, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. His pinky grazes yours again, a gentle, teasing touch, sending a thrill up your spine as he continues his conversation, his presence unmistakable and impossible to ignore.
You try to focus on anything else, but his gaze keeps finding you, even when you’re not looking. And with every shared glance, every quiet brush of his fingers, the air grows thicker, charged with something unspoken, as if each tiny touch is daring you to lean in, to close that final distance.
You’re doing everything you can to keep your composure, to focus on the laughter and stories being shared. But Bucky’s presence beside you is inescapable, it’s a thrill that’s leaving you silent, lost in your own thoughts as the night goes on.
Sam’s voice suddenly cuts through, pulling you back to reality. 
“Hey,” he says, smirking as he leans back in his chair, his gaze playful but sharp. “You’re unusually quiet tonight. What’s going on with you?”
Feeling everyone’s eyes on you, you force a small laugh, trying to brush off the tension simmering under your skin. 
“Just… food coma, I guess,” you say, waving a hand and attempting a casual smile. 
Sam raises an eyebrow, clearly amused.
“Food coma? Really?” He drags out the words, as if he’s not buying it for a second, and you can see the teasing glint in his eyes. “Pasta’s got you this speechless?”
Beside you, Bucky’s lips twitch, and you can feel his gaze, that familiar, subtle amusement making it impossible not to blush. You risk a quick glance at him, only to find him looking back with that same knowing smirk, like he can see right through every excuse.
“Maybe she’s just tired of all your talking, Sam,” Bucky says smoothly, draping his arm over the back of your chair as he speaks. The movement is so casual, so effortless, that it almost seems like an afterthought. But the warmth of his arm behind you, his fingers just brushing the curve of your shoulder, makes your heart race in ways you can’t ignore. His tone stays casual, but there’s a hint of laughter in his eyes as he looks at Sam, his thumb grazing your shoulder in a subtle, grounding touch.
Sam raises his hands in mock surrender, grinning. “Alright, alright. Just thought I’d check,” he says, throwing a playful wink in your direction.
You feel yourself sink back just slightly, leaning into the warmth of his arm, and it’s impossible to ignore the way his fingers stay near your shoulder, steady and unassuming but unmistakably there. The conversations resume around you, but the space between you and Bucky feels even smaller, the quiet thrill of his touch pulling you in.
He leans in slightly, his voice dropping so only you can hear. 
“That food coma excuse was almost convincing,” he murmurs, his eyes glinting with playful challenge as he watches your reaction.
× × × ×
As the night winds down, people start to gather their things, saying their goodbyes. You slip on your coat, waiting for Sam to finish up his goodbyes, but he suddenly turns to Steve with a grin.
“Hey, Rogers,” Sam says, clapping Steve on the shoulder. “How about we hit that bar down the street? Just a quick nightcap.”
You raise an eyebrow, deadpanning as you fold your arms. “Seriously, Sam?”
He flashes you an unapologetic grin, shrugging. “What? You’re always saying you’re an independent woman. I figured a little alone time wouldn’t hurt.”
“Unbelievable.” You shake your head, muttering, “You’re an asshole.”
Sam just laughs, looking over his shoulder. 
“Hey, maybe Bucky can give you a lift. It’ll be like old times.” He gives you a wink, completely ignoring the way your cheeks warm.
You glance at Bucky, trying to keep your expression neutral. “It’s fine, really,” you say quickly. “I’ll just grab an Uber.”
“Suit yourself,” Sam says, grabbing his jacket and heading out with Steve. “But you know Bucky’s free.” He gives you one last smirk before slipping out the door, leaving you standing there with Bucky, who’s leaning casually against the wall, one eyebrow raised in amusement.
“Need a ride?” he asks, his voice warm, that familiar glint in his eyes that makes your stomach flutter.
You open your mouth to decline, still feeling a bit of resistance. “It’s fine. Really. I’ll just grab an Uber.”
Bucky chuckles softly, tilting his head toward the door. “I’ll drop you off. It’s fine.”
You hold his gaze for a few seconds, trying to gauge his sincerity, but there’s that familiar steadiness in his eyes, a quiet patience that leaves you with no real reason to argue. Finally, you sigh, giving in with a reluctant nod.
The car ride starts in silence, the engine’s low hum filling the tense quiet between you, only occasionally interrupted by the soft rattle of snowflakes pelting against the windows as the blizzard starts to gather strength. 
You shift in your seat, fidgeting, your hands smoothing over your coat, your fingers picking at invisible lint. Nothing feels comfortable. Every second, your eyes flick to the window, tracing the passing streetlights, trying to focus on anything but him.
But you can feel him there. The warmth of him beside you, the steady, calm presence that somehow has you on edge, unable to breathe fully. His familiar scent fills the car—a mix of cedar and something undeniably him—sharp and soothing all at once, making the small space feel even smaller.
You cross your arms, uncross them, uncross your legs, then cross them again, pressing your back firmly into the seat as if that might stop the quick, relentless beat of your heart. But each turn he makes, each slight shift of his shoulders, sends a fresh rush of awareness through you, and your mind is racing, trying to keep pace with the pulsing tension that seems to settle between you like a third presence.
Finally, desperate for a distraction, you reach over and flip on the radio, hoping for anything to ease the silence. But the first song is almost too on the nose, the lyrics hitting like they were made for this moment:
"All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you…”
A breath catches in your throat, and before the verse can continue, you reach over and quickly press the button again, changing the station, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
The next station crackles to life, and it’s somehow worse.
“Cause when I got somebody, you don’t and when you got somebody, I don’t. I wish that the time would line up so we could just give in…”
Your pulse races, and you switch stations again, more urgently this time, and the next song fills the car with a familiar pop beat.
“You ain’t my boyfriend and I ain’t your girlfriend. But you don’t want me to see nobody else and I don’t want you to see nobody…”
You press the power button, cutting off the music entirely, and the silence that follows feels heavier than before. Your fingers tighten around the edge of your coat, and out of the corner of your eye, you see him glancing your way, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.
Bucky clears his throat, his voice a low murmur. “Trouble finding a station?”
You manage a quick, nervous laugh, eyes fixed on the road ahead. 
“Yeah… something like that.”
He just nods, his gaze returning to the road, but you catch the lingering smile in his expression, like he’s perfectly aware of the tension simmering between you, the unspoken things filling the silence.
And as the quiet stretches, you can hear his breathing, steady and unhurried, and it only makes you more aware of your own. You try to breathe normally, in and out, but each breath feels too loud, too obvious, like you’re trying and failing to hide something you both already know.
× × × × 
Bucky pulls up in your driveway, and for a moment, the relief you thought you’d feel at reaching home is overshadowed by something else—something closer to disappointment. The quiet tension that’s been hanging between you feels almost unfinished, and you find yourself wishing the ride could somehow stretch on just a little longer.
He leaves the engine idling, the faint rumble filling the silence as you both sit there, neither moving to get out. After a few seconds, you clear your throat, glancing over at him with a small, reluctant smile.
“Thanks for the ride,” you say, voice softer than you intended.
Bucky nods, returning your smile, but you can see a similar reluctance flicker across his face as he glances toward the house. 
“Anytime,” he murmurs.
Your eyes drift to the porch, and you remember the old habit the two of you shared, back when he’d drop by after a night out with everyone—those late nights with coffee and the dessert your mom always made, the one he loved and never turned down.
The memory brings a small smile to your lips, and before you can second-guess yourself, you look back at him. 
“Actually… my mom made her chocolate tart. The one you like. If you’re up for coffee and dessert, that is,” you say, feeling a twinge of nerves despite the casual invitation.
He raises an eyebrow, clearly caught off guard, but you catch the hint of warmth in his eyes. 
“Chocolate tart, huh?” he echoes, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You know I can’t say no to that.”
You shrug, playing it off, but your heart races as you nod toward the door. 
“Figured it’d be a shame to let it go to waste. Besides,” you add, trying to keep your tone light, “it’s been a while since we did coffee and dessert.”
Bucky’s smile widens, and he cuts the engine, pocketing his keys before glancing at you with that familiar spark in his eyes. 
“Guess it’s tradition,” he says, opening his door. “Wouldn’t want to break it.”
You step out, leading him up the walkway, and as you unlock the door, the feeling of anticipation settles back over you, even stronger now. It’s like the tension from the car ride has followed you inside. 
As you head into the kitchen, Bucky follows, his gaze drifting over the familiar space. He takes in the room, noticing what’s changed and what’s stayed the same. The same cozy lamp in the corner, casting a warm glow over the soft cushions on the couch, the same framed photos on the wall—but a few new things catch his attention.
A navy-blue jacket, draped over the armchair, too large to be yours. A set of keys on the counter with a small metal keychain that he doesn’t recognize. And a book on the coffee table, a spy thriller with a bookmark halfway through. He frowns slightly, his mind racing as he takes in these small, unfamiliar details, each one lighting a spark of jealousy that flares bright, unbidden.
He hadn’t asked about Andrew—hadn’t wanted to. But now, surrounded by small traces of him, the thought of someone else being part of this space, of sharing moments with you that once might have been his, digs into him with an unexpected force. The sight of it sparks something sharp and unbidden within him, jealousy flaring up like a match struck in the dark. He swallows, trying to ignore it, trying to remind himself that he has no right to feel this way, but the thought of Andrew’s things still lingering here sends his mind racing.
In the kitchen, you’re busy slicing the chocolate tart, setting two plates with practiced ease as you fill the silence with the familiar rhythm of preparing coffee. But every now and then, you feel his gaze on you, heavy and searching, like he’s taking in every detail of the room and of you.
Bucky clears his throat softly, his voice low as he leans against the doorway, watching you pour the coffee. “Things… feel different here,” he says, trying to keep his tone casual, but there’s a roughness in his voice that betrays him.
Your eyes follow his gaze to the jacket, and a flicker of understanding crosses your face. You give a small, almost sheepish laugh. 
“Oh, that. He left it here ages ago. I keep meaning to get rid of it, but it’s… just kind of stayed.” You shrug, looking away as if embarrassed by the attachment. “Guess I’m just lazy.”
He nods, the answer somehow not as satisfying as he’d hoped. His gaze shifts back to the room, trying to reconcile this familiar space with the small hints of someone else. 
“Ah,” he says, his tone lighter. “I get it. Hard to let go of things sometimes.”
You nod, a knowing look in your eyes, as if you both understand the layers beneath his words. You hand him his plate, the rich scent of chocolate and coffee filling the room as he takes it, his fingers brushing yours for a brief, lingering moment.
Settling down at the table, he watches you from across the coffee cup, the quiet tension between you only growing thicker. And as he takes a bite of the chocolate tart, the flavors familiar and nostalgic, he can’t help but feel like he’s grasping at something he’s been missing for too long.
You try to focus on your coffee, but Bucky’s gaze is unwavering, fixed solely on you. He takes another slow bite of the chocolate tart, and the way his eyes soften, paired with the slight curve of his lips. It’s like he’s seeing something he missed, something he can’t look away from.
After a beat, you feel the heat rising in your cheeks, unable to take it anymore. 
“What?” you murmur, trying to keep your voice steady, but your heart’s racing too fast.
For a moment, he doesn’t answer. He just holds your gaze, eyes dark, thoughtful, and a little teasing, as if he’s enjoying watching you squirm. 
“Just… wondering why it took so long to get back here— it feels good to be here. With you.” His voice is low, quiet, but there’s a warmth behind it that makes your stomach flip.
You glance down, biting back a smile, but you can feel his gaze still on you, unrelenting, like he’s waiting for you to look back. 
“It’s just dessert, Bucky,” you murmur, trying to keep the moment light, but your cheeks betray you, a blush blooming under his attention.
“Maybe,” he replies, his tone teasing, eyes glinting. “But it’s the best damn dessert I’ve had in a long time.” He takes a slow bite of the tart, watching you with that infuriatingly soft gaze that makes it impossible to breathe.
"Christ..." you mutter under your breath, barely aware you’ve said it aloud. His gaze is so intense, it feels like he’s peeling away every defense you’ve carefully built.
“Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he murmurs, but there’s a teasing lilt in his voice, like he’s testing just how far he can push.
You let out a shaky laugh, glancing down at your coffee to avoid those piercing eyes. 
“You’re not… it’s just—” You don’t know how to finish the thought, every word slipping away under his unwavering stare.
He lets the silence hang for a beat, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk that’s equal parts infuriating and heart-stopping. Then he leans forward, just a bit closer, his eyes still locked on you, the teasing glint in them intensifying.
“You sure about that?” he murmurs, voice low and velvet-smooth. His fingers toy with the edge of his coffee cup, but his attention never wavers, every inch of him focused on you. “Because if I’m honest… I think I like watching you get flustered. Kind of makes me wonder what else I could do to make you look at me like that.”
Your breath catches, and you feel your pulse race, cheeks burning as his words sink in, every nerve suddenly buzzing. You’re caught, and he knows it, the challenge in his gaze daring you to look away—but you don’t, rooted to the spot, every nerve in your body humming.
But in that moment of stunned silence, something in your expression shifts, your eyes widening ever so slightly. It’s not discomfort, but a soft vulnerability—an openness he wasn’t expecting.
He misreads it entirely.
Bucky straightens abruptly, his face softening as he lets out a quick, self-conscious laugh, breaking eye contact. “I—sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, his smirk fading. “I’m just messing with you. Didn’t mean to… you know, make things weird.”
Your heart clenches at the quickness with which he pulls back, his retreat sudden, like he’s trying to undo the last few moments. You open your mouth, words rushing to the tip of your tongue to stop him, to explain, to tell him he hadn’t made you uncomfortable at all.
“Bucky…” you say softly, reaching out before you can think twice. The moment your fingers brush his hand, he glances up, eyes wide, almost searching yours for permission.
And before you can lose your nerve, you let the words slip, your voice barely a whisper. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable… I just… wasn’t expecting that.”
The tension between you flares back to life, sharper, deeper, as he studies you, realization dawning in his gaze, as if he’s daring himself to believe what you’re saying.
× × × × 
The blizzard outside has intensified, blanketing everything in a thick layer of snow that doesn’t look like it’ll be easing up anytime soon. By the time you both finish your coffee and dessert, the wind is howling against the windows, and the soft glow from the streetlights barely penetrates the wall of snow outside.
You walk to the window, peering out into the swirling white, and let out a small sigh. 
“Looks like it’s getting worse,” you murmur, more to yourself than to Bucky, the words carrying a quiet invitation you don’t fully realize.
Behind you, he steps closer, joining you by the window, his hand resting on the edge of the sill as he gazes out into the storm. 
“Guess I might have to wait it out,” he says, a hint of reluctance in his voice, though his eyes flicker with something warmer as they meet yours. His tone is casual, almost nonchalant, but the unspoken question lingers between you.
You turn to face him, folding your arms, trying to play it off casually. 
“Yeah, probably not the best idea to be out there in this.” You pause, giving him a small smile. “I mean, I have a couch. Wouldn’t be the first time you crashed here.”
He chuckles softly, nodding. 
“Right. Wouldn’t want to risk life and limb just to get home.” There’s a glimmer of amusement in his gaze, like he’s just as reluctant as you are to let the night end.
You manage a laugh, a quiet, slightly nervous sound as you gesture towards the living room. 
“The couch is all yours if you want it. I can grab a spare blanket.” The offer feels both genuine and like an excuse, a small plea for him to stay, if only a bit longer.
“Thanks,” he says, his voice soft, a warmth in his tone that makes your heart skip. “Appreciate it.”
As you disappear down the hall to fetch a blanket and pillow, he lingers in the living room, glancing around the familiar space. He’s barely acknowledged how much he’s missed this—missed you—and now, surrounded by small remnants of your life, it all feels heavier than he expected, like he’s on the brink of something he’s not ready to let go of.
You return with a thick blanket and a pillow, handing them to him as he sets them down on the couch. 
“Here you go. It’s not much, but… I think you’ll survive,” you say, though there’s something tentative in your voice, almost as if you’re testing the waters, hoping he’ll stay a little closer.
Bucky chuckles, sitting on the edge of the couch, his hands settling over his knees as he looks up at you. 
“Yeah, I’ve handled worse, I think,” he replies, his gaze lingering just a bit too long.
A quiet pause stretches between you, neither of you moving. Outside, the snow falls in thick, relentless waves, cocooning you both in this shared moment, and you feel the weight of what’s left unsaid, lingering like an invitation neither of you dares to speak aloud.
Finally, you clear your throat, offering a small smile. 
“Well… goodnight, Bucky,” you say, your voice softer than you intended, and you find yourself hesitating, like you’re reluctant to leave.
He nods, his gaze holding yours for a moment longer than necessary. “Goodnight, doll.”
× × × ×
Bucky was asleep on the couch. Your couch. Crashing at your place, as he had so many nights before.
The man you wanted more than you’d ever wanted anyone in your life.
You couldn't sleep, tossing and turning and thinking of him lying not thirty feet away from you on the other side of your bedroom wall. He had stayed over countless times, what was it about tonight that had you squirming beneath the sheets? 
God, the subtle, masculine scent of him, the warmth of his body so close to yours—maybe he'd actually seen the little shiver of sexual awareness that had rippled through you during dinner.
Whatever it was, you were suffering now. His smile, his voice, his deep, infectious laugh...so what if he had been your friend since, so what if he could be a bit of a doofus at times—okay, a lot of the time—so what if you were both single now and feeling that familiar itch, that longing, that uncomfortable awareness of being without someone just a bit too long.
Fuck.
You both had talked about this. Once—a long time ago. You had agreed; getting involved wasn't the right thing to do—look how many friendships were ruined by relationships.
You threw back the duvet and swung your legs over the side of the bed, wiggling your toes nervously as you bit your lip. 
You needed a drink, that's what you needed. Not that kind of drink—although God knew you weren't far from it. You needed a cool glass of water from the pitcher in the fridge and maybe some splashed on your face for good measure. 
Then you could come back to bed and read. Or listen to some music. Or... something. You had an early start in the morning, you had to find some way to get some sleep. If you were really quiet, you could slip right past him and he'd never even know you'd been out of your room.
You creaked open your bedroom door and listened for the sound of his quiet snoring. Sure enough, the soft sounds of sleep drifted towards you and you straightened, relaxing a little. 
He was sleeping just fine. He wasn't tossing and turning thinking about you.
You slipped out into the chilly living room, and shivered involuntarily. You'd set the thermostat low in the living room to save energy, completely forgetting to turn it up for his sake, so while your bedroom was toasty warm, the living room was cold and still. 
Guiltily you cast your eyes over his sleeping form, sprawled inelegantly over the couch with one hand thrown over his eyes and one leg up over the back of the sofa. He wore only a t-shirt and boxers, and lying with the blanket kicked to the floor instead to cover himself with, he looked vulnerable somehow, and uncomfortable.
And incredibly, almost achingly sexy.
Your eyes roamed over him in blatant appreciation. He was a powerhouse of strength, with thick, chiseled muscles that seemed almost carved from stone. Broad shoulders tapered down to a torso built from years of dedication, and his arms were thick with veins and ridges that caught the light. 
Your gaze slid down his powerful legs, the defined muscle of his thighs flexing beneath the hem of his shorts. He was the embodiment of rugged masculinity, intense and undeniably commanding. His stubbled jaw caught your eye, and you let your gaze linger on his lips—the lips you’d dreamed of tasting so many times...too many times, in fact. So often that sometimes you imagined the fantasy as if it were a memory. So delicious, so sensual and hot.
Only he wasn't hot—you try to tell yourself. You dragged yourself back to reality, frowning as you looked down at him. He was cold.
You went back to the bedroom and pulled an extra blanket off the closet shelf, and carried it back to lay across his sleeping form. He stirred slightly as you draped it over him, and his eyelids fluttered open.             
“Hmmm…” Bucky mumbled thickly, his voice hoarse and low. “Good morning.”
“It's not morning, it's two a.m,” you whispered. “I was just getting you another blanket. Go back to sleep.”
“Mmmmm…” he said, cuddling it around him.
He pulled his leg down off the couch and straightened himself out, stretching languidly, shuddering, like a cat. You loved watching the way his muscles tensed and relaxed. You loved watching him do anything, in fact.
“It's so cold,” You said by way of an unasked-for explanation, and looked away from his body. His eyes were still closed so you could have looked a little longer, but didn't want to risk it.
“Cold?” he murmured. “Just a second.” He pushed aside the blanket and reached for you, tugging you down towards him.
You gasped and lost your footing, sitting down hard on the couch beside him. He pulled you down and enveloped you in his arms, pulling you tight against his chest.
He flipped the blanket over top of both of you. “There. I'll keep you warm.”
A sleepy duskiness coloured his voice, and something in the intimacy of it, the familiarity of it, made your heart flutter rebelliously in your chest. He smelled so damn good, like a mixture of soap and the sweet warm and musky scent of cedar wood. He drew you in closer, molding his body against yours, and God help you, you allowed him. You settled in more comfortably beside him, your leg thrown over his, your arm stretched across his chest.
“I was saying you must be cold,” you whispered. “Not telling you I was.”
“I know.” Bucky said without missing a beat.
You lay there, entwined, quiet, saying nothing more. You rested your head against his chest and could feel more than hear the lazy beat of his heart, and the quiet, smooth passage of his breath. His hand languidly caressed your arm, the rhythm growing slower as he drifted back to sleep. 
Sleep threatened to claim you, too, so you stirred, trying to disentangle from him. You'd have to be near your alarm clock or you'd never get up in time.
“No, don't go,” Bucky murmured as you tried to move. He held you tighter.
“I have to,” you whispered. “I have to get some sleep, I have to get up in a few hours.”
“Stay.”
“I can't.”
He was gradually coming awake, slowly becoming more oriented. He shifted position slightly so that he was more on his side, looking down at you as he rested his head on his bent elbow. He stretched his other arm across you and pulled you closer, gently caressing you back.
“Stay,” he said again. His voice was clearer now. He was fully awake. Still slightly dazed from sleep, but awake.
You hesitated, letting your gaze roam over his face. Finally you whispered, “We talked about this a long time ago, remember?”
“I know. I'm sorry. I just...I want you to stay.”
In the dim moonlight spilling in through the French doors his features were muted, but his eyes—his eyes were large and dark, taking you in with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Bucky moistened his lips, his pupils growing even larger as they roamed over your face and you could feel the pace of his heart pick up and his breathing increase. 
His gaze moved down to your lips and his brow creased in an expression that could have been longing, or frustration, or both. He raised his eyes slowly to meet yours, the haze of desire stealing slowly into his gaze.
“You're not nothing to me,” he said, almost to himself. “That's precisely the problem.”
How on earth were you supposed to resist such a sensual, beautiful, soulful man? Stay? How could you not?
“Please,” he whispered. “Stay. . . I have something I need to get off my chest.”
Your resolve was crumbling as you felt your chest tighten. You looked into his eyes and barely managed to whisper the words. 
“What’s that?”
“This.” 
He lowered his head slowly and kissed you, brushing your lips softly, sensuously, as if in no particular hurry. As if he had all the time in the world to savor you, to taste you, to send pleasure rippling through you with every touch of his lips. He murmured softly as he gently nipped at your bottom lip, teasing your, biting and then kissing-better the lips he was bruising.
You could feel the pleasure he was taking in kissing you, the slow—tortuously slow—pleasure he was enjoying for himself and teasing out of you as he lingered in your mouth. Bucky’s hand slid along your jaw, tilting your face up to him, his thumb caressing your cheek as he kissed you. He broke the kiss and looked down at you in wonder, his eyes glittering in the dim light, then brought your face up to his and kissed you again.
You opened your mouth to him and his tongue slipped in to tangle sensuously with yours. He angled his head from one side to the other, exploring your mouth and pressing kisses along the edges of your lips. You kissed his cheeks, his chin, his light stubble gently razing your lips and making them all the more sensitive. When you found his lips again, their soft warmth was intoxicating and you deepened the kiss, teasing his tongue with your own.
You kissed him back sensually, with equal possessiveness and enjoyment, and knew that your response was emboldening him.
Bucky tensed and pressed against you, his kiss growing firmer and more insistent. His mouth moved over yours expertly, wringing pleasure from you in breaths that came faster and little cries that escaped into the quiet of the room. Your soft moans made him tense even more, and you could feel his arousal along the length of your leg, hard and urgent like the rest of his body. 
You were both warm now, and he threw back the blanket before settling back down on top of you, returning to the slow, rhythmic dance of kissing, teasing, and tasting that was just about driving you mad.
You slipped your hands up over your head, thinking to wrap them around him, but he found them and clasped your wrists together with his left hand and kept them there, holding you down with gentle pressure as he bent to kiss you more deeply. 
The sensation of being held by him, of being pinned down, gently, but with no doubt as to his strength, rushed through you in unfamiliar torrents of excitement. He entwined his fingers in yours, easing up the pressure, dipping his head between your upraised arms to kiss you deeply, slowly, torturously.
As his tongue tangled with yours the fingers of his right hand trailed up the side of your body, stopping at the swell of your breast. He ran his hand over you gently, tentatively, feeling the weight of it beneath him and groaning softly. He slipped his hand inside your robe and cupped you bare flesh, his warm hand gently squeezing, caressing, as he groaned again and grew even harder. His thumb circled over your nipple and you gasped, arching against him at the sudden sting of pleasure. He pushed aside the robe further, revealing your breast with its tight nipple, unbearably aroused by his touch.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, gazing at you breast. He lowered his lips to your nipple and gently kissed it, his tongue tasting and savoring it the way he had just been savoring your mouth.
The wet warmth of his mouth on your sensitive flesh made you ache with a tension and desire you had never felt before. When his tongue swirled around you nipple languidly, when he took the sensitive bud into his mouth and suckled softly, you felt the exquisite torture of it flow down through you body to you very core. How could this feel so damn good? Just the lightest brush of his lips, his tongue, his teeth on your nipple and you felt almost ready to climax.
His free hand slid around to the small of your back and he lifted you gently, sliding you further down the couch and farther under him. You were completely beneath him now, and completely held by him, one strong hand gently pressing your wrists into the sofa cushions and the other splayed across you back while he bent his head and kissed and sucked and teased you breast. You almost couldn't bear the sensation as your nipple grew harder, more tender, and the pleasure started liquifying between your legs.
"Yes..." you breathed. You arched again, wanting him to release you from his mouth and yet hoping that he never would. "Oh my God, Bucky, that feels so good..."
Bucky lets go of your wrists and brings his hand down to your other breast, pushing aside your robe to free you completely. He caressed you, sensuously feeling the roundness of you, and trailed his lips across the rising swell, kissing and tasting and smiling at the way your soft flesh moved under his tongue. He gently grasped your breast and brought your nipple up to his mouth, which grew hard and exquisitely tender under his tongue. His fingers continued to tease your other nipple, the one still stinging from the feel of his mouth on it, still aching to feel it again.
You arched into him, sinking your hand into his hair and pressing him to your breast. The pleasure of his mouth and hands on you was making you weak, making you shiver with pleasure and need, all down the length of you and in between your legs. You could feel  yourself growing wet and ready for him, the pleasure so intense, so unlike anything you'd ever felt before.
You heard yourself moaning softly, whimpering, making sounds you had never made before, all but dizzy with desire and sensation. With every little sound you made he groaned, or his erection surged against you, or he fell onto your breasts again with increased hunger. Your response to him was as intoxicating to him as his mouth was to you—you could feel it in his every movement, his every ragged breath.
“I need you, Bucky.” You pleaded softly. “Please.”
He rose over you, bracing his arms on either side of you. His eyes blazed with heat as he looked down at you, at you eyes, your mouth, your breasts. He took your mouth expertly, hungrily, kissing you fiercely with a dominance that thrilled you. He moved to trail hot kisses down your neck, licking the sensitive skin near your collarbone, barely skimming you with his tongue as if wanting the merest taste. You gripped his shoulders, and turned your head to the side, aching at the sensation of his mouth on you, kissing, licking, tasting. 
You moaned at the feel of his tongue on your neck and the gentle pressure of his lips pressing kisses against your skin. You needed to feel him, to taste his salty sweet skin, his maleness, him.
As if he could read your thoughts he lifted up from you to pull his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor. You reached up and ran your hands over his chest, and as he fell on you again his mouth found yours hungrily and his hand slid into your hair, gripping the top of your head possessively as you kissed.
You had never felt so possessed, so taken, so overwhelmed by a man. You broke the kiss and sought his neck, his shoulder, his tense muscles straining as he held himself above you. You branded your own hot trail of kisses into his skin, felt him strain against you at the sensation. You loved the taste of him, so male and wonderful beneath your lips.
"Baby. . ." His voice was hoarse, breathless. 
For one brief moment uncertainty flashed in his eyes and he looked as though he wanted to say something. But when your lips found his again he lost the thought and succumbed to the kiss, slanting over your mouth, teasing your tongue with his.
You ran your hands down his back to the waistband of his boxers, and dipped your hands beneath the elastic to roam over his flesh. He tensed at your touch and you felt him suck in a breath as you moved your hands around to the front. 
He was very hard, and you curled your fingers—which couldn’t wrap around him fully—as you gripped his ass with your other hand. He groaned softly and kissed you even more deeply, surging against you with an almost desperate urgency. You began to stroke him, your fingers gently gliding up and down his smooth shaft until he suddenly let out a groan and broke away, stopping your hand with his own.
“Fuck,” he said breathlessly, heat blazing in his eyes. “I can't. . .”
Alarm flared in you. “What's wrong?”
“I won't last long. . .”
“Oh, is that all?” You gently pushed his hand away and began to tentatively stroke him again.
He moaned, closing his eyes briefly, enjoying the pleasure. “If you keep doing that. . .”
“What?” You prompted, nibbling on his lower lips as you stroked.
“I'll have to fuck you.”
“Good.” You took his lips again and you fell into a rhythmic kiss, as if you had been kissing each other forever. He moaned softly into your mouth as you stroked him, making soft noises of your own into his mouth.
Bucky broke the kiss, his breathing sharp and shallow, and gazed down at you, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Are you sure about this?” His voice was quiet, urgent, almost desperate.
“Yes,” you breathed, pushing his boxers down with your free hand. He lifted up his hips to help you and shrugged out of them, kicking them to the floor.
“I didn't mean for this to happen, at least not tonight,” he said, his breath jagged and quiet as you continued to stroke him. “I've wanted you for so long, but—”
“I know,” You murmured, kissing his neck as your hand slid over his thick length again and again. His body was rigid with tension and you tried to relax him with your mouth, your whispers, the feel of your body. But you knew he wouldn't relax as long as you were stroking him. You paused and he relaxed slightly, but his eyes still burning and his breath still came unevenly.
“Are you sure?” He asked again, his eyes showing fear through the haze of desire. Heat blazed between them, and you felt such a desperate need in him that you wanted to soothe him, comfort him. But doing so with words seemed the wrong thing to do.
"Mhmmm," You murmured instead, kissing his jaw, his neck, the sensitive skin beneath his ear. He groaned softly as you ran your fingers over his shaft, teasing, tempting, letting you fingernails trail along the sensitive skin below. You cupped him and squeezed gently as he groaned louder, pleasure that sounded almost painful. you laughed softly, kissing along his collarbone, his shoulder, his neck.
“You know how I feel about you. . . ” he managed, his voice little more than a breath. “Don't you? That I—”
"Shhhh," You said, coming back to meet his eyes. He looked so afraid, so vulnerable, and yet so filled with desire. You knew, then, everything you needed to know. And every word he needed to hear. "Please. . . Baby. . .it's okay. We can talk later. Right now. . .please. . . just shut up and fuck me."
His fear melted into a smile so warm, so open, so full of relief that he almost looked ready to cry. He took your mouth again, arching over you as he claimed you. Before his kisses had been searching and sensuous, now they seemed driven by pure desire. He ground his lips on yours  masterfully, taking what he wanted, what he needed.
You could feel the raw need in him, the need for acceptance, the need to let pure passion overcome his fear. Every meeting of your lips sent another jolt through you, every taste of his tongue made you desperate for more, and you knew he was reeling from the same powerful sensations that you were. You could feel him starting to let go, to abandon himself to you, to enjoy making you abandon  yourself to him. 
Here was the lust you had always hoped was there, the powerful sexuality always just below the surface, the desire you had hoped and prayed he felt for you. It was here, pressed against you, an urgent cock and a hard, warm body, roaming lips and soft, male moans of pleasure and need. A careful heart revealing itself to yours.
You moved beneath him, pressing your hips against him to ease the heat that radiated from between your legs. The ache was exquisite, your need growing more urgent as you felt his erection surge and strengthen.
You felt his hand on your knee and then slowly, so damn slowly, he began to trail his fingers up along the inside of your thighs, which parted so easily at his gentle persuasion. His touch was electric, yet soft and sensual, and wherever his fingers played you felt a fiery tingle that made you shiver. Finally his fingers trailed delicately over your sensitive cunt, teasing you, tantalizing you, until you cried softly, silently begging him to touch you most sensitive place.
With a smile that you could feel more than see, his fingers slipped into your slick warmth and you cried out, a spasm of pleasure overwhelming you. He silenced your cry with his mouth, his tongue tangling with yours  while his fingers slipped deeply inside you and stroked, as languidly and rhythmically as you were stroking him.
“Oh my g—” You cried, writhing at the pleasure of his fingers sliding slowly in and out of you, then pulling out to trail up higher and caress your folds. When his fingers danced over your clit you arched you back, your breath leaving you in a gasp. The electricity of his touch, so gentle and sensuous, sent spasms of pleasure rippling through you. 
He didn't hurry the pace, just stroked you with an even, sensual rhythm as he kissed  you. He was holding you, his arm surrounding you, pressing his body to yours, his mouth never far from your lips, your neck, your ear, his eyes never far from yours. You had never felt so close to someone, so protected in his arms, so cherished and adored.
His fingers dipped down to enter you again and his thumb continued the slow, exquisite torture above. Just when you thought you'd go over the edge he'd pull away, pause, caress a different part of you and send you on the upward spiral again and again, or slide his fingers into you over and over while his thumb swirled and caressed and rubbed, driving you mad with an aching desire. 
He smiled down at you, nipped at your lips, pressed his forehead to yours and trailed kisses down your eyelids, your cheeks, until claiming your mouth again, his tongue mimicking the sweet, sensuous motion of his fingers and thumb.
He grew rock hard in your hand as you moaned with each breath, as you came closer and closer to the edge. You could feel him restraining himself, wanting only to pleasure you, anticipating your climax. But it wasn't what you wanted. On a ragged breath you stopped his hand.
"I want you," you said urgently. "Please, Bucky. . .fuck me."
He gazed at you, teetering on a moment of indecision. His chest rose and fell sharply with his labored breath, and he brought a trembling hand up to your hip and gripped you, holding you, moving to settle between your legs and pausing at your entrance.
"Please, I want you inside me." your voice dropped to a whisper so urgent you hardly recognized it yourself. "Please don't make me beg."
And whatever strength he had left vanished.
"Oh baby. . ." He moved forward and slid into you, a breathless throaty sound of pure male pleasure escaping his lips. "Oh my God. . ."
He paused for a moment, looking down at you with heavy-lidded desire, visibly enjoying the new sensation of being so deep inside  you. You were slick and hot, more than ready for him, and as you body adjusted to him, to the exquisite, aching stretch he was causing, you squirmed beneath him on a moan of primal pleasure. He pulled out slowly, torturously, and slid himself in again, filling you completely.
You closed your eyes and moaned, gripping his ass as he lifted your hips up to him, angling you so he could fill you more deeply. He began to thrust, slowly, rhythmically, his hips moving sensuously, making you muscles tighten around him as he plunged into you again and again, your movements coming so easily, so naturally, so deliciously slowly.
You lifted your legs to wrap them around him, loving the way it tilted you back so that his every thrust felt deeper, felt like it was reaching new depths of pleasure in you.
“Yes, yes, yes. . .like that. . .oh my god, Bucky. . .you fill me up so good.” 
He ran his hand possessively along your leg, pausing to look down at your joined bodies as he thrust into you. He raised himself up, his arms braced on the other side of you to keep his weight off you, and moved so he could thrust more freely, more quickly, building the tempo. He pressed his lips to your forehead gently as he drove into you, his breath ragged, panting, yours matching his intensity and need.
“Ugh—you drive me insane, I love hearing you moan my name—don’t stop.”
You could feel him getting close, nearing the edge of his own release, and he slowed, lowering his head to nuzzle your neck as the rhythm of his hips paused, and then resumed again, more slowly this time, building again, savoring you body the way his lips had savored you mouth, the way his tongue had devoured you breasts. His arm slid around you back again, holding you, lifting you up to him as he took your breast in his mouth and teased it with his tongue. His mouth was hungrier this time, sucking your nipple, flicking his tongue over it with such abandon that you felt it in your core. His passion was growing, and you could sense that his desire to be slow and tender with you was losing the battle against his raw primitive need.
You gripped him, lost in the dizzying sensations he was causing in you. His mouth on you, his hand roaming over you, gripping your ass as he thrust into you in a relentless rhythm. You were limp in his embrace, held in place for him to possess, to plunder, to pleasure. You had never been held like that before, and the primal intensity of it, the feeling of being so completely owned by his desire, overwhelmed  you. You were his, completely, your body as loose as a rag doll in his arms. You gripped his straining arms as he sent pleasure coursing through you, gripping you as he thrust and withdrew, plunged and pulled out, drove into you over and over again in breathless ecstasy.
“Keep fucking me like that—Yes! Oh my God, harder, please. . . B-Bucky!”
Waves of pleasure grew stronger and stronger in you, pushing you towards the ultimate pleasure, building with increasing urgency as his rhythm grew faster and harder. 
“Oh—like that? You like that?”
He groaned as he kissed your neck, your collarbone, your breast, and drove himself into you with such exquisite need. You gripped his buttocks, feeling the powerful muscles contracting with each thrust, drawing him deeper into you. When he tore away from your lips and looked down into your eyes you felt the waves rise, growing stronger and higher and faster until with a shattered cry you came, trembling as the pleasure spasmed through you.
His eyes never left yours as he thrust into you, groaning from the exquisite pleasure of your spasming pussy. 
“Shit—fuck, you’re gonna make me come. Ohhhh—” Bucky moaned.
You were so incredibly tight, gripping his cock as you came, milking him as he struggled to last just a moment longer, lost in the heaven of you hot, wet heat. Your cries of pleasure echoed throughout the darkened room and when you whispered his name on a soft, sweet whimper he found his own release, jetting into you over and over again as he cried out in an agony of pleasure and a torrent, a chorus, of your name.
Finally, finally, his hips slowed and he lowered his head and kissed you gently, sensuously, as softly as he had when he had first pulled you down to him. Then he lowered his head to your neck and let himself rest there, lying against you, his heart thundering, his breath ragged and heavy. You lowered your legs from around his waist and wrapped your arms around him instead, cradling him to  you. you rested your head against the top of his and felt your own breath slowing, your own heartbeat returning to normal. His cock was still hard inside you and he shuddered as you clenched around him.
"God, you're incredible." He exhaled a long, deep breath.
He rose up and kissed you, shuddering with each aftershock as his cock surged inside  you. You could feel your inner muscles clenching around him, not releasing him yet, teasing the last drops of pleasure from him. 
He lay his head down against you again, breathing out a sigh that was both release and contentment as the last tremors rippled through him. You loved this feeling, this sensation of his body trembling with the afterglow of pleasure, pleasure you had given him, just as your body was tingling from the intense pleasure he had given you.
He held you to him, sliding out of you slowly, and shifted slightly so that you fit against him perfectly, settling into the warmth and comfort of his arms encircling you.
“Holy shit,” he whispered again, pressing his lips to your temple and leaving them there for a long minute before letting go.
“I'm so glad you stayed over,” you said quietly, kissing the soft skin of his neck.
He stilled for a moment, and you looked up at him, trying to read whatever might be revealed in his eyes. In the darkness both of you were inscrutable, until he leaned closer and bumped your cheek with his nose before lightly pressing his lips to yours for a sweet, soulful kiss.
“So does this mean we're not friends anymore?” He asked, in between luscious nips at your lips.
“You tell me,” you said sleepily, unable to resist his slow, savoring kisses.
You felt his smile as he kissed you languidly, with deliberate slowness, each kiss deepening into something more intimate than the last. Finally his lips stilled and you felt him fall asleep beside you, his breathing soft and slow.
You wanted to stay awake, to freeze this moment in time, to make it last. you wished you could lay there forever, tucked in beside him, your bodies curled to get you. But even as you tried to stay awake, gently caressing the arm that draped over you protectively. you gradually succumbed to a peaceful, contented sleep.
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lovelybucky1 · 3 months ago
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Oooohh i have a request!:
Playing “never have i ever” or something like that with logan and wade (maybe along the lines of a boring friday night with nothing else to do) and you admit to never having an orgasm by anyone but yourself
Flash forward you’re in logan’s arms and wade is eating the fuck out of your pussy, and then they switch 👀👀
i’ve written something similar two the second part here, but i love the never have i ever idea! // divider from @strangergraphics
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boredom isn’t something heroes are used to. there’s always something happening somewhere, someone needing to be saved. but tonight, everything is quiet. the three of you were suspicious at first, but you checked every police scanner, news outlet, and all of your contacts and came up with nothing. the bad guys had decided to take an evening off, and now you were stuck with nothing to do.
you, wade, and logan all sit around in the living room with bottles of beer. you and wade stare at the mindless gameshow on tv while logan rests his eyes. you’re definitely bored, but wade is restless. it’s like he’s itching for something to do, like his body is physically unable to handle the inactivity.
“why don’t we play a game?” wade asks, startling logan awake.
the two of you look over at wade. “what kind of game?” you ask.
“i don’t know, ‘never have i ever?’”
logan rolls his eyes, then shuts them again. he’ll deny any “old man” comments, but he really is one. you elbow logan in the side and he opens them again.
“come on, it’ll be fun,” wade pleads.
“it’s not like we have anything better to do,” you say to logan. reluctantly, he agrees.
you reposition yourselves in the living room. you sit on the couch, leaned against the arm with your feet in logan’s lap, who sits on the other end. wade sits on the floor by the coffee table, his beer on the table without a coaster next to him.
“this is your game, wilson. you start,” logan says before taking a sip of his beer.
“no, don’t drink! you only drink if you’ve done the thing i say,” wade scoffs. how can logan be so old and still know nothing about fun? “okay, okay. never have i ever… gotten arrested.”
you furrow your eyebrows at him while logan takes a drink. you’re almost certainly wade has been arrested before. “i don’t think you’re playing this game right,” you say. “you have to say things you’ve never done.”
wade scoffs. “i haven’t been arrested, thank you very much. all the cops who’ve tried have mysteriously ended up with broken noses.”
you roll your eyes at him. “my turn now? never have i ever… cheated on a partner.”
both of them take drinks, wade with more shame than logan. ugh, men.
then it’s logan’s turn. “never have i ever worn a dress.”
you figure it’s targeted at you, just because logan’s a dick, but to your surprise, wade drinks too. logan raises his eyebrow at him, silently urging him to elaborate.
“you wish you saw that, huh, peanut?” he taunts instead. logan makes a face at that.
“i’m thankin’ god i didn’t have to.”
you play a couple more rounds, all three of you exchanging stories and sipping from your bottles. it takes a lot to get them drunk, but you’re starting to feel it. there’s a collection of empty bottles, mostly beer, but halfway through the game, wade decided to up the ante with some liquor.
it’s wade’s turn again and he says, “never have i ever been with two guys at once.”
he means it as a joke. he doesn’t expect anyone to drink. there’s no way logan would do something like that, and you’re too innocent. that’s why his eyes practically pop out of his head when you throw back the shot.
the game turned sexual a few rounds ago, but it was pretty mild stuff. talk about doing stuff in public, kinks, freaky shit like that. nothing as interesting as this.
both wade and logan turn their full attention to you, eager to hear this story.
“what?” you play dumb.
“two guys at once?” wade asks. you shrug.
“it wasn’t anything.”
“nah,” logan says, sounding interested for the first time all game. “you gotta tell us.”
you sigh. “it was a while ago. i met this couple at a bar and they said they were looking for a third. i had nothing better to do and they were both hot, so…” you trail off, shrugging again.
“give us the gory details. how’d you do it? daisy chain?eiffel tower? double cowgirl? triple spooning? come on, tell us,” wade rambles.
“you’re a fucking perv,” you tell him and he doesn’t deny it. “it was just normal dp.”
logan raises an eyebow. “that stands for double penetration,” wade tells him.
“i know that. i’m just wondering how you took it all,” logan says.
you’re used to this kind of talk from wade. the man thinks with his dick so much that you question if he even has a brain. you’re not, however, used to this from logan. he’s no prude, but he usually doesn’t participate in these kinds of conversations with wade.
“must’ve been a tight fit,” logan adds on.
you look between the men and their interested faces. you’re still pretty bored, the game having grown stale a while ago, and now you’re a tipsy. you want something exciting and right now, you’re feeling bold enough to persue it.
“do you wanna see?” you ask them.
wade and logan share a glance, but it only takes a second before they’re replying “yes” in unison.
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kitasuno · 5 months ago
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to be loved is to be known | suna rintarou x reader
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you're in love with suna. you think suna's in love with someone else. he's not.
slight angst, happy endings, and miscommunications atsumu is sexy reader is gn wc: 1481
It is dusk and warm and just barely humid when you realize you don’t know Suna Rintarou at all. 
You know that Suna likes chuupets and volleyball and his dingy digital camera with the cracked screen. His left eye twitches slightly when he lies, he always ties his right shoe before his left, and he keeps forgetting to buy pencil lead despite preferring mechanical pencils over traditional. He likes the rain. Can’t bite into ice cream. Wool scarves over fleece, seven followers on his private Twitter, and is always late because he likes feeding the stray cats in the alley next to the Family Mart with the good sausages. 
What you didn’t know is that Suna Rintarou is in love. You find out from Kita Shinsuke, who tells Aran after practice, a conversation not meant for your ears but gracing them nonetheless as you stand before the entrance to the gymnasium. You feel a dryness in your throat and a sting in your eyes as Kita shares that Suna is not only in love but had confessed to someone. Maybe it’s your divine punishment for eavesdropping. Maybe it’s rotten luck. Because, coincidentally, and horribly so, you’ve been in love with Suna Rintarou ever since you met him. 
So when Suna walks up from behind you, back from the vending machine, and asks you why you’re lingering outside and staring at Kita with that look on your face, you lie. 
“I have a crush on Shinsuke.” You blurt out. 
He blinks. Once. Twice. And stares. 
The longer Suna stares at you under the grey, purplish-pinkish sky with his hands shoved into his pockets and his left eye twitching, you realize you don’t know him at all. Because Suna, in all his indifference and nonchalance, looks hurt. You see something flit beneath his eyes, but you’ve never been good at reading people. So you settle on the idea that it’s something less than betrayal but more than indifference, and you don’t know why your heart’s beating so fast and sinking, pitter pattering and twisting in your stomach. 
You feel sick. 
“You like Kita-san,” He says, and it comes out as a statement, not a question. He blinks a third time, and as the look in his eyes disappears as quickly as it came, you decide you much prefer the hurt or the discomfort or the something over the blank apathy that he’s looking you over with now. “You have a crush on Kita… Shinsuke.” He finishes, and you can’t hear the bitterness in his voice over the shrill of your heart. 
You’ve always liked Suna’s eyes but tonight you like the pavement more, and as you stare a hole into the concrete beneath you, you ignore how your feet are fidgeting and your palms are sweaty and how Rintarou is hovering over you. 
“Mhm,” You squeak, tearing your eyes from the asphalt with the cracks and an ugly pill-bug on the ground. As you look up to grey eyes and dark hair, you wish that loving Suna Rintarou was harder. 
“I’m, uh, I’m going to tell Shinsuke tomorrow.” You say, Shinsuke’s name foreign on your tongue compared to the warmth and honey that Rintarou’s tastes like. I’m in love with you and this is a bad idea, you think. I like you, not Kita, is what you don’t say. Instead, and arguably worse, is the mention of Miya Atsumu’s name. “Atsumu gave me the confidence to confess!” 
Suna pauses. 
“Atsumu told you to?” He asks, and it’s the most bewildered you’ve heard him in a while.
A glance at his phone. Hands that emerge from his pockets. If you weren’t so preoccupied with the concrete you would have seen the twitch of his fingers and the tightening of his jaw as he opens Line. You nod dimly. 
“Okay,” is what he says, and you feel your heart in your stomach again. You look up. “Okay.” He repeats again. 
And maybe it’s the hurt that stings in your chest from Rintarou being so okay with you (hypothetically) being in love with Kita Shinsuke that pushes your eyes to water and your mouth to open. 
“Is that it?” You ask. 
A beat of silence. And then, a scoff. 
“Yeah. Congratulations,” Suna says. “Good luck.” 
As dusk turns to nightfall and what was a barely-humid night in July is now overwhelmingly warm and sickly and hot, Rintarou’s gaze is overbearing. And when your eyes start to swim and Suna’s gaze turns to confusion and then realization, you do the only thing you know how to do. You bolt. 
An incessant string of dings. Your lip wobbles under your teeth as you pull out your phone from under your covers. 
from: miya osamu (21:03)  where the fuck did ya go  and whys suna blwoin up my phone
from: amazing perfect miya atsexy (21:03)  WHYYSS SUNARIN BLOWING UOA PP MY PHONE ??!?@@>>!?>??!??! WHYS HE SAYIN U LIKE KITA-SAN
from: you (21:05) its so over i ran home
from: you (21:05)  i told him i like shinsuke and that i am confessing to kita  tomorrow
amazing perfect miya atsexy and miya osamu are typing…
from: amazing perfect miya atsexy (21:06)  WHAT
from: miya osamu (21:06) r u fuckin stupid why would ya do that
from: you (21:07) i heard shinsuke tell aran that suna confessed to someone today and then rin came back so i told him i like kita bcuz i panicked and also he cant know i like him right as he’s ginna get BAGGED wait but idk if he got rejected or not WHO AM I KIDDING suna would NOT get rejected LOLOL but anyways i think he knows i like him bcuz i started cryig and then he had this look on his face like he knew i was bullshittin him now venmo me money before i kil msyelf 
from: miya osamu (21:12) yeah he was gonna confess to YOU today
from: you (21:12) ?
from: amazing perfect miya atsexy (21:12) HOLY MISCOMMUNICATION
from: you (21:18) Wht??
from: miya osamu (21:19) suna was supposed to confess to u today 
from: you (21:21) but shinsuke said rin already confessed
from: amazing perfect miya atsexy (21:22) why wiud u ever think about takin gossip from KITA SHINSUKE AN WHYD YA BRING ME UP IM GNNA BE STONED AT DAWN
from: miya osamu (21:22) HOORAY !
from: amazing perfect miya atsexy (21:22) SHUDDUP  
You bolt, again, but this time it’s out of your bed, down a flight of stairs, and through your front door. You’re halfway down the street near the Family Mart with the Good Sausages™ when you barrell into someone who smells faintly of blackberries and Suna’s laundry detergent. 
“Excuse me,” You blurt, scrambling away, until you feel a grip on your waist and a familiar shape behind you with a familiar smell and a familiar voice, and Ohmygod, you’re out of breath and close to frantic but Suna Rintarou is holding you steady by your waist, warm and tall and here. 
“Rintar-”
“I like you.”
You feel it more than you hear it- Suna is muffled and quiet as he mumbles into the back of your shoulder, tall frame folded into you. 
“Idiot.” He adds, and you don’t have to turn to know the tips of his ears are pink and his eyebrows are furrowed. “You’re an idiot.” 
It’s twilight, and just-barely humid when you realize that Suna Rintarou knows you. 
Suna knows that you ramble when you’re nervous. He knows that you like the rain and you don’t like humidity. You carry extra lead in your pencil pouch and you like volleyball and stray cats. You can bite into your ice cream. You color coordinate your bookshelves. You don’t have a crush on Kita Shinsuke. 
You don’t know that Suna keeps his digital camera with the shitty cracks because you bought it for him from a shop in Akihabara. You don’t know that Suna leaves his packs of pencil lead at home because leaning over your desk in class and seeing that smile on your face is far more fun. You don’t know that he writes with extra pressure on his worksheets to crack his lead and ask for more. 
You didn’t know that Suna Rintarou is in love with you. 
So he grins into your shoulder and tells you.  
amazing perfect miya atsexy (22:14) 1 Attachment GROSS!!!!!! do NOT start making out at practice or i will RESIGN !!!
sunarin (22:14) @ y/n lets start making out at practice
y/n, miya osamu, and 2 others reacted with Thumbs Up! ojiro aran, amazing perfect miya atsexy reacted with Thumbs Down!
from: amazing perfect miya atsexy (22:15)  @ KITA SHINSUKE @ KITA SHINSUKE @ KITA SHINSUKE @ KITA SHINSUKE 
sunarin has removed amazing perfect miya atsexy from the Inarizaki Volleyball Team Chat. 
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tojisun · 4 months ago
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the apple that rolled over to the tree
!! fluff; f!reader; parenthood!!; simon-centric hehe >:3 // divider by @/plutism!
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there is a… kid attached to your hip when simon returns home from a mission, his exhausted body stumbling into the kitchen where he finds you and it.
“what—”
he can’t even fathom the emotion coursing through him at the moment, what with shock triumphing over everything. still, you’d probably need to give him credit for not losing his goddamn mind at seeing a whole child — he couldn’t have been more than two years old with how he’s only three apples tall — clinging to you like a baby koala.
“oh my god, you’re back!” you squeal, unfazed at how dumbfounded your fiance has become, before shuffling close to embrace him.
simon reciprocates the hug anyway.
you step back, your lips still wobbling in your tears as you stare up at him, all awed like you couldn’t believe that he was back and simon wishes he can press his promises to your lips because he will always find a way to come back, he swears on his life, but also—
the child.
“sweetheart?” he begins, soft as to not spook you or the kid. “who’s, uh, who’s that?”
the child shifts, turning his little face from where it was burrowed onto your neck at the sound of simon’s voice. he rests his head on your clavicle, smooshing his already chubby cheek, before the biggest brown eyes that simon’s ever seen stare up at him, all doe-eyed and jarringly innocent, and simon, he—
well, not even babysitting tommy’s kids prepared him for this.
“this is yasha,” you murmur, pulling simon’s attention back to you. “or yakov, or james if he would want an english name.”
the boy reacts to you calling his name, and simon watches as those curious eyes tip up at you in question. you swipe your finger over his nose, the little thing scrunching up at the ticklish feeling, and simon becomes breathless at seeing the unadulterated joy in your face.
it is all parts soft and tender, but also anxious and worried, and simon begins to puzzle out the pieces.
“he’s my foster child. or ours, i guess, now that you’re here.” your voice is so fragile as you reply to him, your hand now beginning to rub soothing nothings on the boy’s back. simon wonders if it’s more to calm yourself down than it is to comfort the boy.
your lips purse, hesitating, and simon waits because while he he’s pieced out what you want to ask, he knows that this is something you would want to truly talk to him about. it is something he knows you have mustered up the courage to bring up so he gives it to you, open and ready, and he hopes that his face and his gait show that whatever it is you would want to say, simon will always support you no matter what.
“si?” you begin, looking heart-wrenchingly small in your worry. “i think i wanna adopt him.”
simon hums, stepping close but also being careful not to crowd yasha, before he curls his arms around you two — his family — and nuzzles his face on your other shoulder. “i’d love that.”
he offers you a smile, and squeezes your arm in comfort, then he watches as the tears come, easily springing up from your eyes. yasha startles, whirling to look up at his mother in worry. simon’s throat constricts at the thought of you being a mother and him, a father; how, now, there is someone else for simon to come home to. someone to fight for.
jesus. he’d need to tell the lads and maybe get wasted as a celebration.
“owies?” yasha asks, chubby fist balling your shirt.
“they’re happy tears, sweetie pie,” you reply, crooning. “i’m just so, so happy.”
yasha hums, nodding, probably already distracted, and simon takes that time to straighten back up. he pushes your hair away from your face, before he pitches forward to press a kiss on your forehead.
yeah, he’s happy too.
.
yasha gets spoiled, not that simon’s complaining given that he’s been the one doing all the spoiling.
“really, si? a new toly?” you ask, arms crossed over your chest in your exasperation.
toly or anatoly, or tory because yasha still can’t speak properly, is the name that yasha gave to all of his new stuffed toys. it all started with a dog plush that simon bought from the supermarket on a whim and gave to the boy. it was laughably quick how yasha had abandoned his blocks to make grabby hands to the toy, before squealing out that name.
the next stuffed toy that yasha received, which was just the softest and roundest penguin plush toy that simon’s ever seen, was also named toly. so was that teddy bear you bought for him. or that reindeer he got for christmas. somehow, every single one had been named toly.
the only thing you and simon can find about toly was that anatoly means sunrise. simon was so sure it was the russian word for animal, because why else would yasha repeat it, but who would have thought that their little fish is so imaginative?
like, of course he’s going to name all of his toys toly because they are as warm as sunrises. see? smart kid.
but this one, this new toly, set off world records. it was a camel plush that simon saw at the airport when he was out, pretending to be a civilian.
(garrick had been assigned with him for that mission, and was quick to spot and mention simon’s on-duty purchase.
“it’s for my boy,” he grunted in reply, forgetting the fact that he’s yet to truly break the news to his squad. garrick had never looked as surprised, and next thing simon knew, the news made its way to their group chat.
price was amiable about the whole thing. mactavish? not so much.
he just about begged to see a picture of yasha — “and yer girl again, if you wouldn’t mind.” — or even visit him. then he invited garrick to come and price invited himself too, so now the guys are going to swing by some time soon.)
when simon gave it to yasha, their boy had stared at it for a solid minute — simon counted — before screaming and then running to snatch the toy from simon’s hold. he hugged the camel close to his person, his little head nuzzling against the plush face of the camel, all the while absolutely vibrating in unabashed excitement.
he picked up thundering footsteps and turned around just enough to see you literally slide into the room. yasha continued to hug the camel, ignorant of the distress he caused, while you looked on in your panic, buzzing with worry because you just heard your boy scream, damn it!
“he’s fine, bub,” simon said before you could ask, and he watched as you came down from your frenzy, your breathing slowing down at the rationalization that if simon was not panicked, then everything’s alright.
then, your eyes landed on the new stuff toy.
“really?” you asked.
in his defence, yasha adores camel-toly.
in your defence, yasha’s room is running out of space for his tolys.
…well, simon does have all that military money. gonna have to spend it on something else, right?
.
[charlie foxtrot]
sriley: link
john2: ????
sriley: new address.
garry: oh? congratulations.
sriley: thanks.
johnp: 👍
.
yasha was shy when saying hi to price, then outright cried when he saw mactavish, which made simon bark out loud in laughter. yasha only stopped sniffling when he saw kyle. in no time, yasha absolutely adored garrick to the point that he would not even let him go.
dinner was prepared and while you called them all to eat, simon ambled out of the kitchen, where he had been helping you, and walked towards kyle and yasha to pick up his son and seat him on his high chair. but yasha had only looked at him, his head tilted in question, before ignoring simon and clinging onto kyle.
hell, he had even let go of camel-toly so that he could use two chubby fists to hold onto kyle. surprised, simon didn’t even know how to react and watched as his sergeant offered him an apologetic smile before carrying his son to the dining room. kyle rounded the table and sat yasha on his high chair, only, yasha made a scene when kyle did so, and he released a lungful of screams and cries, breaking everyone’s eardrums and their hearts.
kyle stood there, worried and confused, and hovered because he did not know what to do. hell, none of them did, and then you walked out of the kitchen, rushing to yasha, and hummed songs to comfort your son.
you crooned when he made grabby hands to be picked up and you did so with no hesitation, your touch soothing the boy into quiet sniffles. but even then, yasha wouldn’t settle down as he wriggled in your arms, short limbs reaching for—
simon glowered.
yasha was reaching for kyle. you were quick to giggle, asking kyle if it was alright that yasha would eat with him, and simon had glared at his sergeant, daring him to deny their son of anything, before reluctantly nodding his approval at kyle’s happy trill of, “of course, ma’am!”
yasha had finally calmed down when you sat him on kyle’s lap, and his boy was even polite enough to actually eat his soft veggies every time kyle beckoned him to open his mouth for a new spoonful.
simon did not startle, but it was close, when your hand landed on his thigh.
“you okay, baby?” you asked, eyes furrowed in your worry.
“yeah,” he remembers replying with, his throat all choked-up because he knows yasha must be excited to have new people to play with, but still, there was something that stung when his boy chose garrick over him.
not that it was kyle’s fault because he is a dear for even doing all that he did for yasha, but simon had hoped that he would always be yasha’s favourite.
too lost in his thoughts, simon had almost missed yasha’s call.
“-ddy? daddy?” yasha asked, startling simon.
it was not the first time yasha called him that, but every time he did, it never fails to make simon melt.
“yeah? what’s up, buddy?”
simon pretended that no one was watching the interaction.
yasha giggled, hiding his food-smeared lips behind his little palms, before turning to use garrick’s front to hide from simon. you snorted, murmuring to kyle how you swear you would wash his shirt before they go, but it’s all buzz to simon because his son — his darling boy — wanted to play with him during dinner.
yasha peeked at him again, before giggling once more when he caught simon’s eyes. this continued on until dinner ended, with simon occasionally miming growling monsters to induce more hearty giggles from his son, and being rewarded with the happiest laughter ever.
simon turned to you, with his heart on his throat, and beamed.
“aww,” mactavish sang from somewhere beside him. “ain’t that adorable— argh!”
simon had swung his arm out and thumped his fist on johnny’s stomach. thank god, yasha had chosen that time to hide his face again on kyle’s stomach.
.
“unca’ john?” yasha asks in a stage-whisper because everyone within earshot just heard him even with his attempt to be quiet. it’s only their training that stopped simon from acting like he’s noticed.
“yeah, bubsy?” john replies, sounding so utterly soft that this version of him is so foreign to simon.
“this tory,” yasha says and simon discreetly peeks to see which toly is being introduced to uncle john — it’s the elephant one.
price gasps theatrically like he hadn’t seen yasha drool all over this elephant toy before, and puffs out, “how cute!”
“mhmm,” yasha says, nodding, then smacks the face of the toy on john’s face. the trunk smooshes against john’s nose, and thank god that elephant-tory is soft because that aim would have been lethal if it wasn’t.
“jesus—” price gasps out.
“language!” simon hisses, and ducks his head back down just before yasha could catch him peeking.
.
yasha is now four and he still gets teary eyed when he sees johnny. simon placates his friend and says it’ll pass soon. maybe.
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basically, i wanted to write a fic wherein simon’s reaction to being presented with a child is “what— oh okay, sure why not” and (literally in 20 minutes) “i will kill everything for this child” and so here we are
a simon spinoff - it takes a rampage (to be a dad)
4K notes · View notes
0mg-bird · 5 months ago
Text
Hangman’s Mystery - J Seresin x Fem! Reader
Pairing: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Shy! Fem! Reader
Summary: Jake takes you to meet the crew after claims of him hiding you from them. You’re extremely shy and aren’t a fan of lots of people, making Jake be more protective of you. For once, Rooster knows more about Jake’s life than the others do.
Warnings: Mentions of anxiety - protective Jake- Fluff!- language.
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“All I’m saying is it’s a little suspicious.” Payback says, opening his locker up. Jake just rolls his eyes, preparing himself to go through this debate one more time.
“I hate to say this, but I agree with him.” Fanboy pipes in, pulling his flight suit off.
Somehow, the conversations lately always turn back to you. Ever since the flight crew found out Jake’s been seeing someone and it wasn’t a casual hook up, they’ve bugged him about it ever since. It had come up one night at the Hard Deck, when Coyote suggested to a perky blonde, who had been hitting on him, to focus her attention on the southern boy who was playing pool. She eyed Jake up, pleased with what was in her gaze and moved in on him.
Some of the boys gathered around to watch the cocky pilot work his magic. Coyote figured he was doing the pilot a favor since he hadn’t been seen with a girl on his arm in a while. Imagine their surprise when Jake took a step away from the grasp on his bicep.
“What’s he doing?” Payback questions, looking appalled.
“Is he sick?” Phoenix asked as she finished her beer.
Jake had smiled politely and rejected all advances the girl made, sending her away and going straight to his pool game again.
By the time Rooster came around with a fresh drink, the group scrambled to fill him in on the alien sight they just witnessed.
“He sent her away.” Phoenix said with a slack jaw.
“Like a poor puppy.” Coyote joked.
Rooster took a swig of his beer, then shrugged like they were idiots. “Yeah, he already has a girl.”
“What?!” They all exclaimed.
Ever since that night a week ago, Jake was being grilled on it.
As he takes out a fresh shirt to slip on, Jake shakes his head. “Coyote is getting married, and y’all are icing me for having commitment?”
Payback nods. “Well that’s because we knew of his fiancée, you have been hiding this girl like a dirty little secret.”
“I think him and Bradshaw are pulling our leg.” Coyote pipes in. “I think he made her up just to fuck with us.”
Jake laughs out loud. “You are just being ridiculous now.”
Bob, who has been quiet the entire time, ‘lurking’ as the crew likes to say, finally uses his smug voice. “Look, Seresin, I get it. I had a fake girlfriend too one time in high school, it’s embarrassing to admit, buddy.” His words make the guys laugh, and Jake shuts his locker with a loud clank. “She’s not fake! She just doesn’t really like hanging out with dick heads like you guys. She’s real shy.” He glares.
“Well, I’ll believe it when I see it.” Fanboy states. “Yeah, we want to meet her. You bring her to the Hard Deck on Friday night if she’s real, or else we will never stop bugging you about it.” He says, giving Jake a harsh choice.
His hand runs down his face. “I’ll talk to her about it.”
“He’ll talk to her about it, he says.” Coyote scoffs. “Okay Seresin, go talk to your fake girlfriend about it.”
“She’s not fake!”
~~~~~~~
“Baby?” He calls, walking through your front door. Moving to set his small duffle bag on the counter, he toes off his boots, trying to place where you were in the sea side house. It was oddly quiet, maybe you had your head phones in, oblivious to the world outside.
Down the hall he goes, pushing open your cracked bedroom door. Your scrubs were tossed in the corner, almost making it into the laundry hamper. You lay sprawled in bed, hair out of your braid, asleep in one of Jake’s t shirts he left at your house and some boxer shorts.
Slowly, he creeps to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed as he strokes your hair. You slowly start to stir, opening your bright eyes to him. A smile creeps up your pink lips, you take a deep breath in and twist to sit up.
“Hi.” You grin, happy he’s here.
“You alright? It’s only five, you look tired.” His voice was calm, sweet to you as he stroked the under side of your chin with his finger.
You rubbed your eyes. “Long day.” You breathe. “Mr. Johnson passed this morning.”
Jake’s eyes grow heavy with sorrow for you. He knew that this was normal for you because you were an at home nurse and a lot of the time the elderly patients pass. “I’m sorry, honey.” He says, leaning to kiss your forehead.
You lean into his touch. “It’s alright, I should be used to it by now but…I don’t know, Mr. Johnson was a sweet man, I actually adored his company.” You softly laugh. “But, that’s life, I’ll be fine.”
Pushing the covers further off of you, you lean forward and sweetly kiss the man that’s been in your life for five months. Despite the somewhat short time period, you couldn’t imagine life being any different than what it is. Your mother and sister called you crazy for being with an aviator, reminding you that he won’t stay in town forever, that he is quite literally owned by the government and will be wherever he is assigned to. The thought was scary, getting so attached to someone just for him leave when his ship comes in. It made your anxiety tick higher when you thought about it for too long. But, you don’t think you’ve ever been this in love. You’ll be the first to admit that you’ve never been a social butterfly, you were stuck in a shell, hardly bothering to get close to new people. Your handful of friends knew this about you, so it was a surprise when they met Jake and all of his infectious attitude. Somehow, Jake had a way of prying that shell open, his strong hands took you off the shelf and he learned that there’s a light hearted, good time, girl under all the shy innocence. He loved you for both versions, and it made you love him even more.
You declared that if you could, you’d follow him anywhere.
As he takes a shower, probably using your shampoo, you move to figure out what it is that you wanted to make for dinner.
You turn on some music, cracking a beer open and taking a drink. Soon, the kitchen is full of a delicious scent that Jake smells all the way from the bedroom. He follows the waft, sweatpants low on his hips and a casual tank top over her upper half. Finding you stirring some vegetables, he kisses the side of your head, then snatches the half drank bottle from your hand. This is usually the routine, you can never finish the drink you intend to, so he’s there to finish it for you.
“I want to…ask you something.” He says, leaning back against the counter.
You hum in question, and he loves the little look you toss him from over your shoulder.
“You wanna go out on Friday night?” He asks, making you smile. “Sure, where do you want to go?” You ask, unsure why he seems off.
“Well, I think since I’ve met your friends, you should meet mine. Let’s go to the Hard Deck with them, honey.”
You immediately stop your movements, anxiety sweeping over you. “Jake…I don’t know…a bar…”
“I met you in a bar.” He reminds with a smug look.
“That was different.” You turn to face him. “I was dragged there for my sister’s twenty first birthday and you know I hated it the whole time.”
He smiles at your pointed look. “Yes, I know but this will be different. Look, we’ll go, say hi, prove you actually exist, then come home and have sex on the couch.”
Your eyes widen. “Jake!” You gasp at his bluntness.
“Fine, we’ll do it in the shower.”
“Just stop talking.” You shake your head, hiding your smile. “The crew really doesn’t think I exist?”
He comes to grips with your waist. “They think I’ve made you up, like some sad Freshman geek…like i’m Bob or something.”
“Who’s Bob?” You ask with confusion.
His head dips to your neck. “Come to the bar and you’ll figure it out.” He mumbles, inhaling your scent before nipping at your skin. It makes you laugh, desperate to push him away but his strong arms have you locked in.
Something about him could make you forget anything. Sadness, anxiety, tiredness…the veggies that are burning in the skillet.
As his mouth moves up your throat, he’s engulfing you like a starved man. You try to speak before he’s inhaling you deeply, pulling you impossibly closer with his mouth on yours, searing you with a kiss that makes your knees weak.
“Jake- baby- mm.” You battle. “Okay, I’ll go with you. Jake- vegetables are charring.”
He finally lets go of you, grinning at your laugh and the way you stumble slightly as he lets you go.
~~
Clammy hands run down your jeans, once, twice, three times before Jake pulls you towards the entrance.
“They’re not gonna like me.” You stress.
“They’ll love you.” He states, wrapping an arm around your waist.
“They’ll be bored of me in two seconds.” You continue.
“No they won’t, just breathe, honey.”
You’re submerged into a room full of talk and music, some rowdy college kids are being thrown out and you’re sure you stepped in a puddle of spilled margarita. Your eyes are wide, and you shift closer into the larger body beside you. Jake leans down to whisper in your ear that it’s calmer in the back.
By the pool table, a group is gathered there and you immediately assume this is the infamous crew.
Phoenix is the first to notice, she smacks Payback and Fanboy, motioning for them to look alive.
“Well well, here he is, the man himself.” Coyote says smugly, setting his pool stick down.
A shorter pilot approaches you. “How much did he pay you to be here?” He asks, confusing you.
“What?”
“Just joking, I’m Reuben, but everyone calls me Payback, and you’re gorgeous.” He takes your hand in greeting, making your face heat with surprise and embarrassment.
Payback is pushed aside, and replaced by another. “I’m Fanboy, his back seater which means he’d be shit outa luck if he didn’t have me saving his ass.”
You shake his hand too, unsure of what to say.
“So, what’s your name? Wait, what was the last one, Jake? Abbi? Alison? Sorry, he has a thing for A names. Your name start with an A?” His tone is teasing, but he’s so straightforward, it makes things awkward.
Jake’s grip tightens on you. “Cut it out, Garcia.” He slowly said with a warning look.
Fanboy puts his hands up in defense. “Just trying to get to know this mystery girl you hid from us, Hangman.” He claims, then goes back to your gaze. “What’s your name?”
“Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.” You say softly, brushing him off.
You’re introduced to more guys, all who make some sort of snide comment about your relationship with Jake, well, except for Bob who was utterly polite. To your surprise, you’re introduced to Natasha greets you with a hug.
“Well, you’re real and not crazy so that’s a plus.” She jokes, making you chuckle. “You want something to drink?” She asks.
“You’re sweet, thank you. I’ll just take a beer, I’m not picky.” You say in a grateful tone, she nods, saying she’ll be right back.
Moving in from outside, Rooster makes his appearance.
“I missed the meet and greet? Damn.” He says, making you turn with a grin.
“Bradley, hi!” You greet, stepping away from Jake’s embrace momentarily. Rooster hugs you politely. “Hey girly, how are you?”
The crew grows a sour look.
“You two already know each other?” Coyote asks.
Rooster nods. “I was there when her and Hangman met.” He says so casually.
“Bradley and Ashley come over for lunch sometimes.” You add, making the group look at each other.
“Does no one tell us anything anymore or…” Bob trails off.
The night continues with chatter and worthless bets on pool shots. At no point does your hand leave Jake, whether it’s intertwined with his or on his arm, his back, your finger hooked on his belt loop, anything. It might make you look needy, but it’s something that eases your nerves.
When you do pull away from him with intention of finding the bathroom, he immediately turns when your warmth is gone.
“Where you goin’?” He questions.
“The ladies room, a place you can’t follow me in to.” You tease, starting to walk away.
He’s eyes scan the room, then watch you closely. He doesn’t miss the amount of guys that turn to watch you, scanning you up and down, definitely making comments about how good you fit in your jeans.
His paranoia gets the better of him, he marches across the bar to the hallway where the restrooms are. Back leaned against the wall, he waits, standing guard, in his mind, but the pilots call him a puppy.
“Mystery girl went and made him a golden retriever.” Payback laughs.
Fanboy nods. “We’ve lost him for good. What’s he gonna do when he leaves next month for Po-dunk, Texas- or wherever he’s from?”
They all watch as you and Jake slowly start to walk back to the group. Rooster, who finishes his beer, simply shrugs and leans to line his pool stick up. “He says he’s gonna take her with him and marry her.”
“What?!”
3K notes · View notes
yieldtotemptation · 27 days ago
Text
ANIMALS ft. Natty
natty x male reader smut
10k words
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“All I’m saying is,” Natty starts, like she always does, with more unsolicited advice than you can handle at 2 AM, "for someone that complains so much about not having a sex life, you really don’t do much to fix it."
“And what, oh wise friend of mine, is your recommendation.”
“I don’t know. Get a haircut. Dress better. Try not being a massive pussy?” Natty shrugs. Or at least you think she does. Only so much you can tell over the phone.
You sigh. Bite back the urge to tell her to fuck off. But then, who else would talk you to sleep at this ungodly hour? So instead, you concede the point. “Noted.”
“Or, you know, if it’ll stop you from being such a little bitch,” and now she’s laughing, cackling really, and not once has that ever, ever meant anything good. "You could always just fuck me."
Two weeks and twelve hours post-Natty’s incredibly unhelpful suggestion that did absolutely nothing to alleviate you of your insomnia, and you’re back on the phone with her.
Only this time, there's video.
So, yay.
"Help me, please."
It’s a Friday and Natty's begging, again.
Because she knows she can count on you, knows that you’ve long since resigned yourself to your fate as Natty’s on-call ‘fixer’. There for everything from life-changing career decisions to helping her figure out what show to stream next.
And now, apparently, choosing her outfit for tonight.
“Help me, help me, help me, help me.”
God, this woman and her begging. Knowing full well that it’s your kryptonite.
"Okay, okay, okay," you're relenting, much earlier than usual. Mostly because as far as Natty’s petulant requests usually go this one’s a walk in the park. “But don’t you have people for this sort of thing? People who don’t, and I quote, ‘have a dogshit taste in style?’”
“It is dogshit!” Natty calls out, already turned around and leaving you (her phone) on the vanity, facing out to her bedroom and all its hideous pinkness. She disappears from the screen, diving deep into her closet for yet another pair of shorts that will most certainly hug way too close, or a top that dips way too low, or a pair of heels that scream—'hey, I have legs, would you like to spread them?' "But!"
Natty returns to the camera with a leather belt—oh no, that's a leather skirt—in hand; clad in nothing but a casual cotton bra/underwear combination that she’s filling out far too well for your sleep-deprived brain to handle.
She holds up the skirt against her waist for your consideration. Poses. It wouldn't cover a thing. Or maybe that's the point—again, you don't have any fashion sense, whatsoever.
“You’re a man, and I need a man’s opinion because I’m hoping to take one home tonight to fuck my brains out until I forget about this shit-storm of a week. So, you know—help a girl out?”
“As always, you have quite a way with words.”
Natty leans towards the camera, bending down to stare right at you. It makes entirely too much sense that she’s built an entire career around doing just this.
“It’s my third language, asshole.”
The insult lands softer than she likely intended, considering well, you’re a little too distracted to take it. It’s entirely her fault. The angle makes her tits look far too immaculate to pay any attention to her mouth.
Maybe she should consider going out just like this?
Yeah, that’d definitely get her fucked.
But, she frowns before you can make the suggestion, turning on her heels and sashaying back to her closet, leaving you to choke on air at the sight of her ass stretching out her favourite pair of panties. (The white pair with the pretty-pink bows. The one that rides up her ass when she stretches, bends, sneezes—basically any time she’s not standing perfectly still. And even then.)
Anyone else and this whole thing would be weird. Well, weirder than it already is.
See, you and Natty have this thing; this odd, cat and dog relationship that’s been going on since what feels like the dawn of time:
You’ve watched her shamelessly cycle through men faster than a teenager through a box of tissues, leaving a trail of broken hearts and broken cocks in her wake.
While she’s been forced to witness every time you’ve met ‘the one’, only to be there months later to help pick up the pieces when you’re burying your feelings in video games and alcohol and porn, wondering how it all went so wrong.
All this to say that seeing Natty bouncing around in her underwear with that laser-beam of a smile of hers; with all of her soft curves, thick thighs, her ridiculous ass and again, those immaculate fucking tits isn't that unusual.
In fact, it doesn't really do anything for you at all.
(Fucking liar.)
“Here, how about this.” Natty appears from the corner of the screen, having found a top that’s somehow made of even less material than the bra she’s already got on. The gall of her to ask, "Too much or not enough?"
You deadpan. “Does it come in adult sizes too?”
Natty grins, because she can read it right on your stupid face. She looks so, unbearably hot. Without even trying that hard. This bitch. “So just right, then.”
And then she twirls, leaving you to face her back, and before you even have time to blink, Natty’s bra has fallen down her shoulders; and you’re hating how you lean in to look because this damn app has no zoom feature to save your sorry eyesight.
Her fucking tits. Perfect, bouncy. Even through the pixels, even from behind, you can still see the way they spill.
She slips on her chosen top for the evening—a tiny, strappy number—and spins back around to face you in all her Natty glory. By the skin of your teeth, you’re looking away and leaning back, feigning nonchalance and leaving her none the wiser.
You think.
“You know,” Natty says, tilting to one side, hand on hip. Fuck, even that slightest movement makes them bounce. Utterly, utterly obscene. “You should just come tonight.”
You’re saying, “Fuck no,” before she’s even finished her sentence. ‘Coming tonight’ means ‘clubbing’, and ‘clubbing’ means being stuck listening to the shittiest music, surrounded by the worst people in all of Korea, drinking overpriced slop and watching Natty turn down a revolving door of douchebags on the dancefloor.
So, yeah.
If ‘fuck no’s’ were bricks, you’d be building the Great Wall of ‘Fuck No’, big enough for aliens on the other side of the galaxy to see with a fucking telescope and have their first contact with the human race be a giant ‘Fuck No’.
And that’s your polite way of turning her down.
Yet somehow, Natty’s hardly deterred.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Natty sing-songs, shuffling on her tiptoes, shifting her weight from foot to foot, making her entire body jiggle. It’s like she’s intentionally trying to sell you on the idea with every little movement. Make you believe that if you came with her, you’d be able to find someone who comes close to looking half as good as she does in that… whatever-the-fuck that is. Bralette? Crop top? Whatever. Fat chance. "Come on, come, come, come. Be my wingman please!"
You already have your second ‘fuck no’ queued up, but Natty just won’t stop fucking talking.
“Don’t you want to get laid? Don’t you think you need to have fun after what’s-her-name?” Natty continues, pouting at you through the screen.
And there it is, a study in how Natty usually gets her way—jutting out her bottom lip, digging her thumb into the waistband of her panties to expose just a smidge more skin, leaning just right to make her tits look like they’re about to pop out. It’s like she’s got a fucking manual.  
“Don’t tell me you’d rather stay at home with Handalf the Grey than come out with me and all my hot friends?”
“You mean having to clean up after all your ‘hot friends’ and their bullshit while you run off to score free drinks?” You retort, recalling all the other times when she managed to entice you out of your self-imposed isolation and into the deafening, sweaty hellhole known as a nightclub.
“Said hot friends that you’re too much of a pussy to hit on, mind you,” Natty chides, and then oh-so-casually decides to drop this nugget: "They all like you, you know, they'd be more than happy to break this dry spell of yours if you just asked. Don’t act like I haven’t seen the way you look at Julie."
You can feel your cheeks reddening. You’re not a teenager. You shouldn’t blush at this shit. But here you are, falling for Natty’s words and their magical abilities to needle at your insecurities and fill your head with thoughts of her friends and all their... well, incredibly positive attributes.
Natty pounces on your lapse in composure and gets closer to the camera, crouches. Drops down so she’s on her heels and all you can see in that tiny window of your phone is the red of her plush, plump lips.
“Come, you pussy—”
“Natty—”
“Do it pussy—”
“Natty, if you think that’s going to work—”
“Pussy, pussy, pussy—”
You’re yelling down the phone: “Fuck, fine!”
Natty’s victory dance is already in full swing before the words have even left your mouth. Bouncing around her room in pure joy at once again having ruined your evening. Dancing in that barely-there outfit, treating you to entirely sinful ripples across her curves and dips, pure sex on a pair of toned legs. Really makes you wonder how the fuck is she not illegal in at least fifty different countries.  
You hide your face in your hands, because there it is, the reason you’ve never really been able to deny her:
Her laughter, her energy, her fucking shameless glee whenever she manages to get her way (which, if you’re keeping count, is every single time).
She’s just so frustratingly adorable.
Somewhere in her celebrations, Natty finds exactly what she was looking for. Reaches down to the floor, picking up a belt—no, that’s another skirt—this one even tinier than the first.
“Oh, this is perfect,” she preens, holding it out to the camera (to you), before stepping right into it. She spins around, making it dance around her hips. It does wonders for her thighs. "How do I look?”
You swallow. “Like you’re going to get fucked tonight.”
The glint in Natty’s eyes. Like you’ve just served up the finest compliment on a silver platter. You feel sorry for whatever poor soul crosses her path tonight.
Natty winks. “Here’s to hoping.”
Guess what?
Turns out you were right: this is the worst place in the world.
Only, you’re the sole person here that seems to think that.
Hours have passed since you helped Natty look perfectly fuckable and you’re at the bar, trying and failing to get the attention of the bartender. Unfortunately, he, like every other male with a beating heart and a boner seems far more interested in Natty’s little dance routine than his thirsty clientele.
You can’t blame him, really. It’s built in how she moves.
Strobe lights cutting through the air like knives, slicing her into this series of absolutely pornographic snapshots as she dances. And she’s not alone, she has friends—beautiful, all of them, in their own ways. They spin and twirl around her; but Natty’s the sun here, the star that everything orbits.
(You included).
You see it play out—the Natty effect. Men, even women alike gravitate to her, drawn by that magnetic force that is Natty at her very best. Trying to get a dance, maybe whisper a line they stole from some movie in her ear, even dare to reach out to touch or press themselves up against her.
But she’s a black hole, a dark star. Can’t get too close.
One by one, they’re swallowed up by the void of Natty’s disinterest. The shoulders slump, the smiles falter, and the hope in their eyes dies as Natty, with a simple flick of her wrist sends them stumbling back into the crowd, forgotten almost immediately.
And the whole time she’s doing this, she’s got you in her line of sight. A wink here, a smile there, a dance on its own; and all you can do is nod and pretend like you’re okay with all this.
You inhale. Deeply.
Her outfit looks even tinier in person.
You turn away for just a moment, shaking off thoughts of Natty, of her hips and their sway and her winks and her smile; attempting (and failing) to flag down the bartender once more.
This fucking night.
But, when you look back, Natty’s no longer on the dancefloor.
She’s standing next to you. Arms looping around your neck.
“Natty—”
But she’s not listening. Her eyes are darting around the room, searching for something—or someone—that you can’t see. Your stomach clenches, because that look on Natty’s face? That’s not her usual I’m-about-to-make-some-poor-soul-my-bitch look. That’s something else entirely. That’s fear.
“Shut up, I need a favour,” she’s in your ear, yelling over the thrum of the bass that’s rattling your ribcage.
You lean in, bend down to meet her, because, frankly, you’re worried. You’ve never seen Natty like this, wide eyed and shaky. Never seen her be anything but comfortable.
You’ve also never been this close to her. Felt her breath hot against your neck, felt her body press up against you, felt her softness, felt her—
Fuck, you should be asking her what’s wrong, but before you can even do that, the bartender's filling two shot glasses and sliding them over to Natty.
She takes one. You take the other. It tastes lethal.
Natty’s nails dig into the back of your neck, and she looks at you, intense. Words fast and frantic. “Just pretend we’re together, okay? For a bit. Until I can figure this out. Just—just keep playing along, yeah?”
You blink. The room blurs around you. You think you might’ve misheard. “What?”
“Be my boyfriend,” she says, taking a second shot before you can even digest the first. “I need you. There’s some creep and I need you. Now, please?”
You turn immediately, scanning the floor, but the lights and shadows make it near impossible to make out anything other than vague shapes and strobes of colour, let alone pinpoint a face. "Natty, where is he, I can—"
"No, no, no," she cuts you off with a shake of her head. “Focus on me.”
“Wait, why do I have to—”
“Oh, shit there he is—”
And then she’s kissing you.
Ending whatever argument you may have had, because she’s grabbing, pulling you in, and her lips are on yours and oh fuck, she’s really, really kissing you.
It’s a slap to the face, and you need to reel in from the sting. Because you’re already forgetting what you’re doing, forgetting how your limbs work, because Natty’s putting on the performance of a lifetime and you’re having trouble keeping up.
Her hands are in your hair, yours at the small of her back, and she’s pulling you close, squishing against you and the taste of her—sweet like candy and sharp like vodka—filling you all the way up.
Your tongue catches up, flicking against hers, licking inside of her mouth and she’s even convincing you—as if she’s the one that’s always been into the love at first sight bullshit and you’re the non-believer.
And it’s a problem, how right this feels. Because this isn’t what friends do—definitely not Natty and you. But still, you can feel her tension, her need for this to be believable; and you don’t dare to fuck it all up.
So you kiss her back, because that’s what you do for Natty.
You always do what she needs.
You’re about to pull away; this should be enough to have every single person here convinced that you’re hers and she’s yours. But Natty’s already sliding her tongue back in your mouth, pleading, “Keep going,” the moment a gap opens between your lips; and you’re diving back into the kiss without a second thought.
And then you hear it.
A flash of a camera.
A cheer.
A whistle.
Julie, Haneul, Belle—Natty’s friends, staring at you like proud fairy godmothers witnessing their own magic at work.
You break the kiss. You look down at Natty.
She giggles.
You feel like a fucking idiot.
"There is no creep, is there?"
Natty shrugs, looks up at you, and she actually looks—what is this? Shy? Embarrassed?
"There could’ve been," she says, her eyes wide and innocent, a mask. You see through her like you should have when she first wrapped her arms around your neck.  Oh sure, like she’s ever been innocent for a second in her entire life.
She’s far too smug for that.
You roll your eyes. You feel like every other idiot that’s ever fallen for a bat of her lashes and a peek at her tits. Hope is a hell of a drug, especially when Natty’s the dealer. And yet, despite yourself, the corner of your mouth quirks up. "You're fucking insane."
“Maybe.” There’s a long pause. She’s staring at your mouth. She presses a finger to your sternum. “But I had to do something.”
It takes a second. What?
What does that mean?
You stare at Natty, lick your lips. Her taste still lingers.
“Ask yourself the same question I’ve been asking myself for months now,” she says, louder this time, her voice cutting through the noise of the club and hitting your ears with a sobering clarity.
You know what she’s going to say—what she’s going to ask before she’s even opened her mouth. You’ve been asking yourself the same thing too.
So, swallow hard, try to ignore the way Natty’s friends have gone quiet. Try to ignore Natty’s hand still resting against your chest, her eyes burning a hole right through you.
“Why haven’t we had sex yet?”
The blood’s rushing to your cheeks; the music's too loud, the lights too bright, and the room's suddenly spinning around you like a carousel.
Fucking embarrassing.
But Natty doesn’t crack a smile. She just looks up at you. Hopeful. Searching you, searching your eyes for an actual answer; and you already know what it is.
“Because, Natty, we’re friends.” You offer up a weak smile, hoping against hope that she’ll buy it.
But she shakes her head. “Oh, please. Like that’s ever stopped anyone before. Besides, if you want to put a label on it, call it whatever the fuck you want. I just know what I need. Do you?”
You sigh. She gets closer. And closer.
Until your nose is brushing hers. Until her breath is hot on your face, until your heart is racing so fast you can feel it in your ears. Until her hand is sliding down, down, down, until it’s resting over your pants and oh, oh no, you’re straining.
You gasp. She smirks.
“See? You want it too. And I know you do, because, sweetie, your cock’s practically begging me to pull it out and shove it between my tits right here in front of everyone.”
She just throws it out there, so casually, so bluntly, she might as well be talking about the weather. And maybe, maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s just Natty being Natty, but fuck you can’t do anything but stay frozen still.
You’re letting her hand linger. You’re letting her touch you like she’s got every right in the world. You’re letting her because there’s a part of you—the part that’s growing by the second—that wants to see just how far she’ll take this.
“So, what is the real reason, ba-by?”
Because you’re in love with her. You’re in love with her, and you can’t just have casual sex with someone you’re in love with because it will ruin you.
But you don’t say that. Instead, you just tell her: “Timing.”
That makes her laugh. Has her closing what little gap remained between your bodies, until her tits are flush against your chest, and you’re coming to the conclusion that, yes, you did help her pick out the perfect outfit for tonight.
Perfectly, hopelessly, fuckable.
“Well,” she says, and she’s pulling you back down again and shutting you up with yet another kiss. “We’ve got all the time in the world now, don’t we?”
You’ve been here before.
Many, many times before.
You installed the showerhead and fixed all the cabinets yourself. Even secured the lock that you’re now unlocking with the digits that you coded.
But somehow, it feels like a first.
First time you’ve kissed her in the back of a car, pushed your hand up her skirt, felt the heat of her against your fingertips. First time you’ve pinned her against the wall of an elevator, made her feel just how desperate you were for her against her thigh, made her promise to be so good for you when you got to her door.
First time being pulled through the threshold, hands at your chest, tearing your shirt off you before you’ve even stepped foot in her apartment. Had her smiling against your mouth, because she’s won, again, and you can’t even bother to argue because you’ve lost to her so many times now that this shouldn’t be so surprising.
What is surprising though is how you’re naked first.
"Terrible, terrible taste." Natty's clicking her tongue as your shoes, your shirt, your pants are scattered along the floor behind you. “We’ll have to fix that.”
And then she’s moving on, hands clawing down your stomach to land at the waistband of your underwear, hooking her thumbs in and yanking down. You’re so obviously hard—you’ve barely made any effort to hide it from her—fuck, you pretty much flagged down the taxi with it.
"Holy fuck," is the first thing out of Natty's mouth when she takes a hold of you, feeling the naked weight of you in her palm. "You’re really not messing around, are you? I was expecting—"
"A sad, lonely little thing," you finish for her, because you've heard it before. "Yeah, you like to mention it a lot."
But Natty’s not laughing now.
She’s just staring. Almost reverently. She decides, her voice a little raspy, tinted with an apprehension that you never knew she was capable of mustering, "I like it. It's... massive."
You lean in, pressing your mouth against hers because if she’s going to say that, you’re going to kiss her, again and again, and there’s a strong possibility you're never going to stop.
She whimpers, gasps into your mouth, says your name for the first time—not some nickname, not a jab or an insult. Just your name, in your ears, like it’s something sacred.
You’re not a saint. You can’t ignore that.
Your cock jumps in her hand, and as if on instinct, she strokes you.
It's slow, purposeful. She's too good at this. Knows the right pressure, where to twist and wind her wrist. How to sweep her thumb over the tip, smear pre-cum over your skin, and this entire time she's staring down at your cock like she's discovered something new.
“This is going to ruin me, isn't it?” she whispers, and you nod, because your voice is lodged in your throat and she’s stealing the air from your lungs. “Going to fit so fucking nicely inside me. Fuck it’s going to stretch me.”
You groan, collapse your weight into Natty, press your lips against the column of her throat.
Both hands now, one underneath, toying with your balls, balancing them in her fingers, and the other doing its best to squeeze, to pump, to make you fall for her with every stroke.
“I can’t wait to ride this,” Natty kisses these words into your cheek, your jaw, leaves these marks all over your collarbone. “I wonder if I can fit it down my throat. God, can you imagine what it’ll look like between my tits?”
And that makes your cock throb.
Because face it, Natty has always had a way of getting into your head; is far too dangerous with her words, and she’s all too willing to abuse this power she has over you to get you do what she wants, which is now, apparently, fucking her senseless.
You let her, let her build and build this pressure, let it coil inside you, tighter and tighter. Until the need to feel her, all of her, is too much to handle.
Until you grab her, take her by the shoulders, push her—not hard, but firmly—against the nearest wall.
You’re not gentle about it, because Natty doesn’t want gentle. She wants rough, she wants passionate, she wants to be fucked and have her cunt worshipped by way of complete ruin.
She’s told you as much.
"That's more like it," Natty bites into your ear, grips your shoulders. She follows your eyes. "Let me guess, my tits?"
So, maybe she has caught you looking once or twice. Either way, you don’t care much for her top anymore, it’s served its purpose. You take a fistful of it and pull, ripping it right off her and tossing it to the floor with everything else that’s kept the two of you from tearing each other apart.
“Better?” Natty poses for you, puts her tits on display—and yeah, you were right all along. Fucking immaculate.
You take a hold of one, palm it; fill your hand with flesh, twinge those dark, plump nipples, because of course you’re going to. You’re going to pinch and squeeze and suck on them. You’re going to mark her like she’s already done to you. Mark them, with your teeth, with your tongue. Fuck, you’re going to make them yours.
But for now, you're just going to slap them, because you want to watch them jiggle up close.
You laugh. Natty does too.
"Much better."
And with that, you’re back on her. Kisses that are sloppy, wet, and filled with all the pent-up want that's been simmering for months. You don’t even know where to begin with Natty, but you start with her mouth. It’s a good place. It’s always a good place with Natty.
Her hand doesn’t stop moving, can’t, won’t. The friction is heaven; you just let her touch you, fuck her hand while you indulge in her tits. Get to know the weight of them, the balance, the softness.
A sigh into your ear as your tongue finally finds her breasts, deep and messy, sliding over her nipple—she’s already so sensitive, just a flick and she’s gasping. You’re not even trying to be precise anymore, not that Natty needs it, not that she needs anything but for you to enjoy yourself against her.
It all makes the room seem smaller, the walls close, surrounding you with the scent—cinnamon and sweat and something else that’s just her.
“See this is why fucking me is such a great idea,” she slurs against your shoulder, hand tightening, stroking you harder, faster.
You mumble an affirmative into her breast. It’s a miracle you can still stand upright.
“Isn’t this so much better than like everything else? Anyone else?” She sighs, breathy, sweet sounds, as she takes you by the wrist, guides your hand southwards.
Fingertips graze her stomach, trace around her belly button and lower; until you’re digging into her skirt and feeling the heat rise off her skin. She’s soaked right through her panties, dripping with it. Another place for your tongue to land.
“We can just be fucking honest with each other,” Natty’s explaining, eyes tearing when your finger pads her clit, pressing down just right. “You already told me all the things you hate. All the things your bitch exes never let you do.” And she smiles, wicked. “Never had the tits to give you.”
Christ.
“And I can get you to fuck me exactly how I want with this big, fucking cock,” Natty finishes. "We’re a perfect fucking match."
It’s at that moment you find the zipper of her skirt, tugging it down, watching it fall to the feet. Leaving Natty to step out of the tiny scrap of fabric she calls her panties; abandoning the sticky mess of cotton.
You take a step back, unlatch your lips from her tits, because you need to see it. Need to finally see her, see your Natty, see the Natty you've never allowed yourself to look at.
So, take your time, drink her in—because the way she’s standing there, the way she’s touching herself now; biting her lip, sighing your name. All but saying, ‘Look all you want, but don’t you dare look away’.
Look at the arch of her neck, the red you’ve left there, that trail you’ve burned down to her tits. Bruised and swollen from your tongue, your kisses, and yet still not marked enough. Follow the curve of her hips; how they flare out from her waist, the plush squish of her ass cheeks against the wall behind her.
You want to kiss her, from the tips of her toes to the top of head; all of her, every part of her, because now she’s going to finally let you.
Because now you're going to fuck her until all she knows is you, going to make her scream your name, going to make her beg for you to fill her with your cock and cum and never ever leave her cunt empty again.
That’s the plan, anyway.
But Natty’s got plans of her own.
“Didn’t you say,” Natty begins, sighing, circling her cunt in a rhythm that you’re dying to recreate. She licks her lips. “That your last ex refused to suck that lovely, magnificent cock of yours?
"Yeah," you stammer, at a loss for breath at just the sight of it all. “And weren’t you trying to find someone to fuck your brains out?”
Natty’s eyes light up; and there's that easy, charming grin that knocks you right off your feet. "You’ve always been such a good listener."
Natty's plotting to ruin you.
It's the only possible explanation for the way she's looking at you right now—on her knees, at the foot of her bed, flanked by walls painted an ugly shade of pastel pink and Natty's tits, sandwiching your cock.
You’d imagined it, thought about it when you shouldn’t have been thinking about it. Whenever she brought you to watch her perform, whenever she sent you pictures of her outfit of the day. But your eyes always went there. Straight to Natty’s tits, every time.
You knew they were big.
You’ve felt them, on accident (though they don’t seem like accidents anymore).
But now, to have them enveloping your cock, drowning your shaft in their softness, and to have her, staring at your face with so much fucking excitement as she gives you everything you’ve ever wanted—it’s surreal.
You’re dying to paint them white.
“Looks like you’re already about to fall apart, baby,” she teases, and it’s even worse now that she’s calling you these sweet names, saying them like she’s always wanted to, like she’s finally letting herself. “Couldn’t wait, could you?”
“Fuck, Natty—” you breathe out, your hands finding her hair, tightening, because that’s all you can manage to do when Natty’s in control. Like she’s always been.
“Mmhmm,” she hums, keeping her eyes on you, making sure you’re watching, even as her tongue flicks out to taste you. A slow, taunting lick to make you buck your hips, desperate to feel the suction of her lips. “You must have been dreaming about this, huh?”
You don’t bother lying. She already knows the answer. “Every. Fucking. Night.”
Natty’s smile spreads across her face, and she rewards you with a kiss, pressing her lips down onto the head of your cock; before sliding them lower, eyes fluttering shut with the first taste of you. “Well, what took you so long? All you needed to do was show me your cock and I’d have been happy to do it whenever you want me to. Happy for you to use my tits as your cum rag. You know that, right?”
She moves; and the sight of it alone—Natty’s tits wrapped around your cock, bobbing up and down, hypnotising you with the flicker of her nipples—up and down, up and down. It’s merciless, unrelenting, and she keeps talking, keeps kissing these sweet little words into your cock that makes your hips jerk, trying to fuck her tits faster, harder.
"Look at how perfect you look," Natty keeps going, "how your cock fits so snug."
The sounds she’s tearing from your throat as her tits take you, and she’s barely even started.
“But we can do better, can’t we?”
Her pace picks up, and with it, the tightness of your grip on her hair. She’s pushing the ample mounds together, squeezing, putting her whole body into it, into this new art she’s pioneering. Driving you insane with just her breasts, making you swell between them, throbbing as she works you over.
“So big," she’s panting from just the effort, the bounce, bounce, bounce of it all, "I can feel you getting so much bigger."
Everything’s going too fast, her tits are too soft, her lips on you too hot, and she’s drooling, her spit dripping down onto your cock. You want to tell her to stop, that you can’t take it, but Natty just keeps going.
"Fuck,” Natty mewls, pinching her own nipples, for you, for her. Pinching and rolling them, making them nice and stiff and swollen. “Let me just try and—”
She cranes her head, bends; takes your cock deeper into the warm, wet heat of her mouth. Her tongue darts out licks your cock, gets that sweet spot on the underside, makes you shake underneath her.
Natty holds you there, even as you groan, even as your hips rise; just licks, spits, sucks. Her mouth moving up and down on you, making a mess down your shaft, down her tits. Taking you deeper, deeper, until you’re fucking her face.
She moans around you as your hips buck and you push deep, desperate for it. Her eyes water, her cheeks hollow, and she’s got you. You’re in her mouth and she’s loving it. Loving the power she has over you, loving giving you what she wants, loving how you’re pulling her by the hair, desperate to feed her more of your cock into her throat.
Like your entire relationship has been building up to this moment—to Natty’s tits wrapped around you, her mouth all over you, her eyes on yours, watching as you fuck her face.
"Fuck, Natty," you grunt, your voice barely recognisable. "What the fuck—"
But Natty's just smiling, you’re fucking that smug little smile on her lips, and she’s taunting you. "Come on baby, keep going, keep going."
It’s utterly obscene—the smack of her lips around your cock, her slobbering all over you, her gagging, her moaning around you, looking up at you and asking, “Is that all you’ve got?”
You're so close, so fucking close, and she knows it. Moving her tits faster, faster, and you're about to blow your load all over Natty's pretty face, her chest.
But she keeps talking.
Even as you stuff her cheeks, even as you muffle her, “None of those other skinny bitches could do this, could they, could handle this big, fat cock?”
Even as you force her down, pull her by the hair, “You’ve been so obsessed with my body, so obsessed with my tits, haven’t you?”
Even as her tits slide off you and your cock smacks her across her cheek, “I always saw the way you looked at them, fuck I was showing them off for you, you just took too fucking long to notice.”
She won't stop fucking talking.
You finally snap. "God, are you ever going to stop?"
But Natty just laughs, bats her lashes. Slides her tongue from your base to your tip. "Maybe you should find something to gag me with."
Your hand wraps around her throat, squeezing just enough to make her eyes go wide, to make her mouth pop open. She rolls out her tongue for you, and you know what she expects you to do, what she expects you to fill her mouth with.
But you don’t—instead, you fill it with your kiss.
It's deep, it’s bruising, it’s saying ‘fuck you’ in the sweetest way possible, without uttering a single syllable. Natty laughs against your mouth, a ‘fuck you’ right back with her teeth, biting down on your lower lip. Not breaking skin—not yet—but the promise is there.
Her hand leaves your cock to wrap around your neck, pulling you closer to her, her mouth eager for yours, and you don’t even think twice before you hoist her up, her legs wrapping around your waist. Giggling again—another sound that’s going to be your undoing—before you’re both stumbling back onto her bed.
The mattress dips under the weight of your bodies falling back into it. Natty straddles you, presses her cunt down onto your thighs. So wet you can feel it on your thigh, leaving your skin sticky and stained with her. Your hands move to her hips, dragging her closer, so you can feel the friction grinding against your cock, making you ache.
She breaks your kiss, gasping for air. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown wide—seeing her pant like this, it’s not even fair. She’s just so fucking beautiful, like a painting you’re afraid to touch because you might smudge it.
You tell her as much.
She blinks. Blushes.
Grins.
“You,” Natty breathes, her hand trailing down your chest, finding your heartbeat, resting there for a beat, two, “are so fucking in love with me.”
You don’t argue because she’s right.
Her hand slides up your arms, nails dig in and she’s got your wrists, pinning them over your head. You let her. Let her grind herself against your cock, feel the warm, wet heat of her cunt against the tip.
She takes her sweet time, melting herself into you, pressing her tits into your chest, and you can feel her heart racing against yours.
She whispers, “God, I’ve waited so fucking long for this.”
You can’t even form a coherent thought, so you just grunt.
“I’ve dreamt about this so much,” she continues, breathless words sending shivers down your spine. “Your cock, fuck, it’s just as perfect as I imagined. And now, it’s all mine.”
And then she does it—she sinks down onto you, slow and sweet, her pussy taking you in inch by glorious inch. You groan into her shoulder, your eyes shut as Natty’s tight heat surrounds you. It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before; sure there’s been others but something about Natty’s cunt is so intense it’s almost painful.
“So tight,” you grit out, the words torn from your chest like they’re made of glass. She just laughs, low, sultry, and starts to move.
It’s a dance, a rhythm that’s been building between the two of you for what feels like an eternity. She’s rocking her hips back and forth in this torturous grind. Fucking you like it’s the last thing she’ll ever do, like she needs to make the most of it. Like you’re going to vanish into thin air the second she lets you go.
“I knew you’d feel this good,” Natty sighs into your neck, already surrendering to your cock. “Fuck, I knew it—why did you keep this from me?”
You can’t answer, not really.
You’re too lost in the feel of her, too consumed by the way she’s moving on top of you. Every inch of her body is pressed against yours, and she’s so warm, so alive, that you can’t think of anything but how Natty’s finally letting you in. How she’s letting you make her whole.
But it’s too much. Natty’s cunt, tight and wet, fucking you so slow it’s a fucking crime. Pinning you down, a butterfly on a board spread out, displayed, unable to do anything but take her sweet, sweet punishment. And she’s whispering it in your ear, grinding down, rolling her hips, “Fuck you. Fuck you for keeping this from me,” with every stroke.
She’s doing it on purpose, you’re sure of it. Driving you crazy, making you beg, making you want it more than you’ve ever wanted anything in your life. Your hips jerk up to meet her, trying to speed things up, to get that friction you need, but Natty just pushes down on your shoulders, keeping you in place.
So you tell her, "This is fucking torture."
Natty just smirks, her hips never stilling. "Is it?" she asks, as if this all isn’t intentional. Like she doesn’t have some grand plan to ensure you never forget the things her cunt can do to you. "Do something about it then."
So, you do.
It takes more effort than you’ll ever admit, but you break her grip on your wrists, grab her hips, and flip her over, sending her sprawling onto the bed, face down.
The squeal from her. It’s music.
How her eyes go wide when you treat her like a ragdoll, how her tits juggle and bounce, smacking the mattress. And when you push down into her, slamming your hips into her ass, how she arches back into you, her back bowing like a fucking violin.
“Yes!” She cries, fucking cheers into the mattress, like she’s been waiting for this—for you to have had enough of her shit and take her without asking. “Yes, yes, yes—”
You hover over her, throb inside her. "Is this what you fucking wanted?"
Natty sighs into the bedsheets, urging her hips against you, begging without words, begging for you to do more.
“You want it rough, baby?”
“Yeah,” Natty says, pushing back against you again, nodding immediately. “If you can.”
Still with the provocations, unable to resist pressing at your buttons.
You grab her hair, yank it back so she’s staring at you, force her to look at you. And you fuck her hard. Fuck her like you’ve wanted to since the first time she walked into your life and decided to make it all about her.
You fill her with deep, long strokes, fill the room with the smacks of your hips colliding against her, of your cock thrusting into her cunt again and again.
She claws at the sheets, trying to find purchase, trying to push back against you. But you’re too strong, too desperate.
You pound into her, impale her with your cock, watch her face twist in pleasure, in pain. You’re fucking her like you’re trying to break her, like she asked. Trying to solve her—how hard can she take it, how deep, how fast.
But Natty won’t give you an answer, she just takes it all—every inch, ever pump into her sopping wet cunt. Just grins and takes every bit of your need, your frustration. A bottomless pit of pleasure, begging for more with every whine, every little noise she makes that’s not quite a scream but is so close that it rattles your brain.
And when you finally let go of her hair, Natty’s licking her lips, and without even a care for what it does to you, she coaxes, “You can do better.”
You don’t know how she can talk right now, how she can even think with your cock so deep inside her, but something about the way she says it makes you want to test the limits of her ability to stay coherent.
But first, there’s the problem of her ass.
“Let’s see about that,” you murmur, dragging your hand down her spine, feeling the dip of her waist, the swell of her hips, and coming to a stop at her perfectly rounded ass. It’s a masterpiece, a work of art, and you’ve always had a bit of an artist’s soul.
You do what comes naturally.
A spank against Natty’s ass. Hard, hard enough to make her yelp.
Again—another slap, another yelp, louder, better.
You keep fucking her, keep spanking her, keep watching red bloom across her cheeks and Natty squirm underneath you. The whines get louder, her cunt gets wetter, but it’s still not enough to dull that smug look on her face.
“Fuck yes,” Natty gasps, raises her ass, presenting it to you like a trophy for you to claim. “I always knew you had it in you.”
You grab her hips harder, your knuckles white, your hand a blur as it connects with her ass. It’s so explicit, the sound of it in the quiet of Natty’s apartment—each spank echoing through the room like a gunshot.
But Natty just takes it, her body jolting with each hit, her cunt tensing and tightening around you.
“God, don’t fucking stop,” Natty sputters, tears of pained pleasure leaking from the corners of her eyes. “You’re using me so good.”
You lean down, kissing hard against her neck, branding her shoulder. You want her to feel you, to remember you. To not be able to ever feel remotely good again without first thinking of you.
"It's your fucking fault, Natty," you growl into her ear. "You drive me mad."
And she laughs, the sound vibrating through her body and going straight to your cock. "Good," she answers, "Good. Be mad. Be angry."
But you’re beyond that now, beyond the point of no return. All that you know is Natty’s cunt, Natty’s ass, Natty’s moans, and Natty’s grin that you’re aching to wipe off her face.
"Fucking hate me if you want," she’s saying, and she can’t seem to stop, "just don’t stop fucking—ah!”
You nearly stop when you realise you’ve finally done it. Finally left Natty out of breath, lost for words. A fucking miracle, really—the kind that makes you feel like a fucking god.
It doesn’t stop her cunt clenching around you, tight as a vice, because even now, Natty’s got some kind of death grip pussy, and she’s using it to fucking kill you.
You whisper in her ear, “You like that?”
Her only response is a breathy, needy little whine, so you spank her again.
And again.
Her cunt tightens. She’s close, so close. You can feel it.
“You like it when I use you, Natty?”
She nods, her eyes screwed shut, her mouth crying into the mattress, a mess of hair and sweat and utter bliss.
“Say it,” you demand, slapping her ass once more, watching as the pain ripples through her. “Say it.”
And Natty does, because she’s a good little whore, because she’s yours now. “Yes, yes, I like it when you use me, when you fuck me like this, when it’s only about you, your cock, your needs, your pleasure—”
God, it feels good to hear her say it, but you still want more than just words. You want her to fucking scream it.
You make the bed shake, knock the headboard against her wall, it’s a competition of what’s going to break first—the frame or her.
“This cunt. Your cunt. I’m going to use it. Fuck it whenever I want.”
But Natty catches you off guard, because that’s what Natty does best. She opens her eyes, looks right into yours, and suddenly she has her voice again: “Whenever I want. You’re going to fucking move in with me.”
You freeze. Your hand mid-spank. Your cock mid-thrust. It throws you entirely off, because, what the fuck?
"You're going to be my boyfriend now," Natty says, wrenching back control, fucking her ass back into you. Stating not asking, leaving no room for argument. "Move in with me, your place sucks anyway."
"You're out of your fucking mind," you start to protest, but she cuts you off with another squeeze of her cunt around you, and now she’s the one fucking you, her hips rolling back and forth in this maddening, sinful way that has you biting down on your tongue to keep from shouting.
"Move in and just fuck me every day," she says, all light and airy, like it’s already been decided, like moments ago you didn’t have her dead to rights. "Morning to night. It would be so fucking nice."
This is real, you know that for sure. It’s not just something she’s saying to get off, not another way to get under your skin. You know it in her voice, she’s deadly serious and suddenly your mind’s racing.
"Come on," Natty purrs, punctuating each word with a slap of her ass against your waist, "You know you want it, why fucking wait?"
She’s not wrong. It makes too much fucking sense to deny. And yet, part of you still can't believe it. That Natty, the girl who's had countless men at her feet, could have any man at her feet, actually wants you. That Natty is underneath you now, eyes glossed over with need, mouth swollen from your kisses, ass cheeks flushed crimson from your palm.
"I'll take such good care of you, baby," she says, unaware that she’s already completely won, unaware that her cunt already has you bending to her will. "Every day, every night.”
You can't help but nod. You're too consumed in her to do anything else. You just let go of everything. The fears, the doubt, the fucking logic.
And Natty says it, the three words that seal your fate—"I'll love you," she cries out, "I'll fucking love you forever if you just keep giving me this fucking cock."
It's like the world stops, like everything you've ever wanted is right there in front of you, wrapped up in Natty's tight fucking body.
You're so close, so fucking close, that you can almost taste it—the sweet release of your orgasm; giving in to Natty’s unbelievably sensational cunt sleeving your cock, pulsing with each thrust, desperate to milk you dry.
There’s nothing left to do but give Natty wants. Fuck her, hammer into her so hard that you’re going to fuck a Natty-shaped hole into the mattress, fucking shatter her bedframe, and then keep drilling her straight through the floor.
And she’s crying out your name, forgetting about everything that isn’t you, isn’t your cock, isn’t the dream of your cum filling her to the brim and spilling out of her cunt every single day for the rest of your fucking lives.
“Are you close, baby? Are you going to cum for me? Please, give it to me, I need it so bad, I need it now, because I'm about to, about to, about to—"
And then it happens.
Fucking destroys her.
It hits. A crescendo that peaks as you bottom out inside her, shaking her to the core. Her cunt spasms about you, her body rises off the bed as if you’re performing a fucking exorcism, and she screams your name so loud it’s only a matter of time before the neighbours come banging on her door.
"Oh my fucking god you—"
Natty gushes around your cock, juices running down your shaft, your balls, and she’s squirting. Oh god, she’s squirting all over the fucking place.
Natty’s body goes rigid, her back arching so much it’s like she’s trying to fold in half, crying, sputtering these words that don't even make sense—until you realise she's speaking an entirely different fucking language.
Not that it matters, because you can tell what she's saying, read it in her body, in the way she's spurting and making a big fucking mess beneath your bodies. Whatever she’s saying sounds utterly depraved, filthy and so, so good to your ears.
It keeps going and going, until she has enough sense to speak your language again, needing to make sure you hear it when she says—"fucking fill me, baby," she whimpers. "Give me everything, all your fucking cum."
And it’s your turn to be hit—like a fucking freight train.
You're cumming, hard and fast and out of fucking nowhere. Your balls tighten, your cock throbs, and you’re flooding Natty’s cunt.
It’s biological, in every cell of your body—like your entire being is coming undone, and the only thing holding you together is Natty, Natty, Natty.
Her body shaking beneath you, her cunt contracting around your cock as wave after wave of cum fills her up.
She’s so fucking tight, so fucking perfect, that you can feel every pulse of your orgasm, every drop of your cum spurting into her. You're not sure how long it lasts, how much you give her, but it’s enough to make your muscles shake, enough to knock the architecture right out of your limbs.
"So fucking good, so fucking good," Natty coos. "Fucking finally, finally filling me up so good."
Her moans a lullaby, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body with every syllable. You lean down, burying your face in the crook of her neck, your every inhale and exhale ragged as you try to catch your breath. Still twitching inside her, still releasing the last of your cum, and Natty’s just lying there, her body limp, her eyes closed, basking in it all.
"So perfect," she keeps repeating, right up until the very end, “So, so, perfect.”
You collapse on top of her, just lie there shivering together, your face next to hers. She’s got this look on her face, a victorious glow, and you just have to accept it. Yeah, she’s won again, in devastatingly convincing fashion.
For a second, you’re both just that—spent, exhausted, entirely drained. Like you’ve just run a marathon. Or been in a fight. Or both.
Then Natty’s got the nerve to stir, to kiss your cheek with the tenderness of a whisper. Lips softer than you thought possible, given how hard she’s just been fucking you. And that’s it, the moment your body decides it’s had enough of playing dead, enough of lying there like a sack of potatoes.
You roll over, bringing Natty with you, her body curling into yours like she’s been made to fit there. Her head rests on your chest, her legs entwined with yours, and for a moment, you just hold her close.
It feels fucking right.
"Tomorrow," Natty sighs contentedly, her cheek finding home atop your heartbeat.
You blink. "Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, you're moving in tomorrow." Natty’s deciding for you already, setting the dynamic for the rest of your future. Doing all this with her eyes still shut as she snuggles closer to you. "I'll hire the movers."
You sigh, the weight of the world and Natty's body both feeling surprisingly light. You think about the next few days, the weeks, the years even, with Natty. The idea is so ludicrous, so absurd, that it feels like a fever dream.
But as you hold her, feel her warmth, her unabashed, blatant satisfaction, something inside you shifts. A reframing of the concept of Natty that you hold in your head. The thought of her naked body in your bed, her laughter in your living room, her mess in your kitchen—it doesn’t feel like an intrusion, it feels like home.
"Are you sure?" you ask. A little shaky, a little hopeful.
Natty opens one eye to look at you, a laugh playing on her lips. "Oh, you know I'm going to be the worst fucking roommate ever."
"Yeah, I can see that. But as long as you keep being the best fucking everything else..." Your words trail off into a whisper, your hand tracing idle patterns on her back.
And then she says it again.
"You’re so fucking in love with me."
Natty kisses you hard, deep, her tongue sliding against yours. And you know, you fucking know, that she's right. You are desperately, entirely, so fucking in love with her, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
You laugh, the sound a little desperate, a little wild, and roll her again, pin her down again. A strange feeling rushes through your mind. Like you’re going to be repeating this exact same motion for the next hundred years. And somehow, that doesn’t sound like the worst thought in the world.
Natty squeals, cheers, moans when you settle between her legs.
"Fuck you, Natty."
"Oh, baby," Natty giggles, reaching down between your legs, squeezing you. Once. Twice. Until you're filling her hand once more. "That's what I'm here for."
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incognit0slut · 29 days ago
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On camera
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PART 4 OF KINKTOBER | MAIN MASTERLIST
Roommate!Spencer x Camgirl!Reader Spencer requests to take on a more involved role in one of your live streams.
content: (18+) 4k, exhibitionism/voyeur, reader wears lingerie, unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, overstimulation (surprisingly it’s him for once), and a hint of cockwarming at the end a/n: this is the second part to a special show although you don't necessarily have to read it to understand what’s happening. this took a while because… there was a little pressure? i didn’t expect people to wait on this i hope it lives up to the expectations, let me know what you think my cuties<3
You nudged your foot against his. “We don’t have to do this, you know. I don’t mind.”
“I’m fine."
"Are you sure? You've been quiet ever since you sat down."
He felt the words knot up in his throat. The quiet wasn’t hesitation, it was disbelief. The kind that lingered in the gap between what he imagined and what was happening. The lack of conviction that defied logic, even when he was the one who initiated to exist beyond just a pair of hands at the edges of the frame.
"Spence?”
He glanced at you. Deep pools of brown drowning in lust swept over the piece of lingerie you decided to put on tonight. Even without much fashion sense, Spencer could appreciate the soft frills of purple lace clinging to your figure. The garter belt wrapped snugly around your waist, leading down to thin straps that framed your smooth thighs, and every logical thought he tried to root out slipped away the longer he looked at you.
Wait. Purple?
Purple.
Although Spencer was sure it probably had a fancier, specific name that bordered on… lilac? Lavender? Or something else elusive he couldn’t quite pin down. To him it was just purple. He might not have the vocabulary to describe the exact shade, but he knew the way it looked on you was nothing short of captivating.
“You’re wearing purple.”
The frown creased between your brows as you tried to make sense of his sudden observation.
“I am.” Your lips formed a slight pout. “And you still haven’t answered my question.“
And he still couldn’t bring himself to answer.
“I thought you were supposed to be Princess Pink?”
The words left his mouth before he could stop them. It was true. Pink was your color. The soft, playful blush had always been part of your alter ego. You shifted on your feet, glancing down at the purple lace hugging your hips before meeting his eyes again. A small, hesitant smile tugged at the corners of your lips, and for a moment, you looked almost… shy.
“Well, yeah,” you admitted, your voice so soft it dipped into a tone he wasn’t used to hearing from you. Your fingers traced the edge of the fabric absently, and you glanced away again as if finding the floor more interesting.
“I thought maybe… it might help, you know? Calm your nerves or something.” The nervous laugh creeping out of you sounded strained. “I know you like purple… so I figured…”
The corner of his lips curled upwards. His smile reminded you of the times he caught you off guard with a look that was equally amused and deeply affectionate as if he couldn’t believe his luck.
“You wore it for me?”
You felt warmth rise to your neck but decided there was no point in hiding it. “I thought it might make this less scary for you.”
His smile faltered. “I’m not scared.”
“Spencer, you’re about to get naked.”
“You’ve seen me naked before.”
You couldn’t help but let out an amused laugh. He stated it so plainly with no hint of self-consciousness or hesitation. And technically, he was right. You had seen him completely, wholly bare more times than you could count by now ever since that first night you stripped away his innocence.
You still remembered how you had pulled him across the line from a curious roommate to someone who wanted to know every inch of your body. And that night turned into another, and then another, until what you were doing stopped being about one-off hookups and started blurring the boundaries you’d drawn between friendship and something more. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on that felt heavier than lust but not quite defined as love.
Spencer was a roommate, a friend, a lover, and eventually, an active participant in your live streams.
His hands were, at least.
You took a step forward, slipping between his legs where he sat comfortably at the edge of your bed. “I have seen you naked,” you agreed, “but they haven’t.”
His hands hovered at your waist, fingers twitching over your lace as if he wasn’t sure where to put them. He glanced up at you, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips before he finally admitted, “Okay… maybe I am a little nervous.”
“I know, but you don’t need to be. Think of it this way, the people who are going to see us will only be jealous of you.”
“Why would they be jealous of me?”
“Because you’re the one who gets to be with me.” You reached up to brush his hair back from his face, tucking those long, unruly strands behind his ear. “They’re in their rooms jerking off to a screen while you get to kiss me.”
A kiss fell on his lips.
“Touch me.”
Another peck.
“And fuck me.”
He chased your lips this time, his mouth puckering before he closed the gap. His words were muffled against you, “I am pretty lucky.”
“The luckiest,” you mumbled back. A soft smack of a kiss lingered in the air when you pulled away. “And you don’t have to worry, once we get started, you’ll be too distracted to remember what you were even nervous about.”
He hummed, the sound deep and rumbling in his chest as his grip on your waist tightened. “I think you might be right.”
“Good.” You moved to the side of the bed. “Now let me set up the camera.”
The tripod attached to the top of your computer screen wobbled slightly as you fiddled with it, adjusting the device until the lens angled down. You observed the setup, making sure it captured your body and the way Spencer’s hand rested on your waist without revealing either of your faces.
Perfect.
“You ready?”
Surprisingly, he was.
With a slight nod from him, you turned on the live stream.
Princess_Pink is online.
Spencer’s eyes widened as the chat erupted in a flurry of notifications, messages pouring in so rapidly they blurred into an endless stream of words.
“That’s a lot of people," he muttered under his breath.
“That’s the usual amount of people.”
“No, it’s not,” he countered. “I can’t even keep up with the chat.” Which was saying a lot. For someone who could read entire pages of text in mere seconds, this was overwhelming in a way he hadn’t anticipated.
“Don’t let them intimidate you.” You turned around and slipped between his legs again, feeling the way his knees instinctively parted to make space. “Just focus on me.”
Spencer barely managed to nod before your lips met his again, and with that, everything else seemed to dissolve. He could never quite get used to how effortlessly you could unravel him with just a kiss. His hands slid up the back of your thigh, the rough pads of his fingers brushing over your skin as they trembled slightly, grazing the delicate strap of your garter before settling firmly on your ass.
A surprised giggle bubbled out of you.
“Easy there,” you murmured, catching his bottom lip gently between your teeth before letting it go with a playful tug. “I have to greet them first.”
He reluctantly loosened his grip, letting his fingers linger on you for a final moment before slipping away to rest at his sides. His eyes remained fixed on you as you turned away, shifting your focus back to the screen and reaching over to the mic.
A faint hum filled the room as it came to life. Spencer could feel his breaths gradually falling into sync before your sweet voice cut through the silence like honey.
“Hi, boys,” you purred, letting the greeting roll off your tongue. “Did you miss me?"
Princess.no1.fan: Princess!!! JadenCums: we missed those tits Adam_4432: fucking hot as always Adam_4432: purple looks good on you Crazydick: who's the skinny loser at the back
You rolled your eyes as the comment popped up in the chat.
“This is getting old,” you said with a sigh, fingers hovering over the mouse. “You’re all obsessed with him.”
With a quick flick of your wrist, you blocked the troll and watched with satisfaction as his name disappeared from the list. Spencer tried to peek over your shoulder. “What did they say?”
“Nothing important,” you replied lightly, brushing it off as you turned back to the mic. "Didn’t I tell you guys to play nice?”
Princess.no1.fan: i always play nice with you JadenCums: they’re just jealous of your boy toy Adam_4432: ignore the haters, babe BigBoss88: let him stay in the background ThickNick: you're gorgeous princess
“Remember, if you can’t behave, you don’t get to stay. And I don’t think any of you want to miss out on what we've prepared."
That was his cue, right? He forced down the tightness in his throat, the sensation catching and shifting like a dry click as his pulse quickened. With a quiet exhale, he slipped off the edge of the bed and made his way behind you.
There was a moment of hesitation. But his doubt faded into the background as he focused on the curve of your waist beneath his fingers. He let his hands move slowly, tracing upward with a touch that lingered at the dip of your spine until his fingers brushed the delicate lace of your bra.
Wide hands covered the soft swell of your breasts.
Princess.no1.fan sent a $50 gift.
“See?” you breathed, pressing your back against him. “You play nice, you get to enjoy the show.”
He couldn’t help but squeeze your flesh, fingers sinking in and then pulling back, the skin dimpling under the pressure before slowly springing back. His veins looked prominent, winding up his forearm like delicate, raised lines that caught the light on camera every time he moved over the fabric of your bra.
And the lace offered the thinnest barrier. He could feel the way your nipple firmed underneath his touch, straining subtly as if it, too, was reaching out for more. He traced small, lazy circles around it, and when you arched into him, he had to bite back a smile. He pressed a kiss on your shoulder instead.
“You’re so good at this,” you muttered, letting your hand drift up to the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair.
He let out a quiet hum of acknowledgment, his fingers hooking under the edge of your bra’s cup before pulling it down. Your breasts bounced slightly, settling naturally in his palm as the lace slipped away.
“I’ve had a lot of practice.”
A soft moan escaped you as he began to explore, and Spencer couldn’t help the surge of satisfaction that followed. He was rougher than he intended to be at times, testing the line between what made you shiver and what made you push back for more. It was the way he rolled both of your nipples between his fingers, alternating between gentle pinches and firmer twists, that finally drew the most telling reaction—a subtle, instinctive rub of your ass against him.
He took it as a sign to touch you further, one hand drifting lower while the other stayed firmly in place. Goosebumps prickled over your skin as he slid down your stomach until he reached the edge of your panties. His fingers skimmed along the waistband, and you could feel his breath coming in quick, shallow bursts as he brushed his knuckles underneath the delicate material, hesitating.
Adam_4432 sent you a $100 gift.
That was enough to break through his hesitation. Without a word, he slipped his fingers beneath the lace.
The heat between your thighs greeted him, and there was no mistaking what that meant. You were wet, so wet that his fingers glided over your folds like silk. He couldn’t help but feel a flicker of smugness as each subtle shift seemed to draw a new sound from your lips.
He let his fingers slide lower, searching, and when he finally found your clit, brushing his fingertips lightly over it, you jerked in his arms. The tiny, sensitive nub was swollen and begging for attention as it pulsed under his touch like a racing heartbeat. He gave gentle rubs. Slow circles. Steady pressure. The more he explored, the more your arousal smeared against his fingertips.
“Oh—you’re gonna make me cum so fast,” you gasped. You threw your head back against his shoulder, letting out a whine you knew would drive your viewers wild. “What do you think, boys? Should he make me cum now?”
The chat lit up instantly, flooded with messages begging you to let go, but between the rapid scroll of usernames and flashing emojis, one message caught your eye.
Looking4Sluts: no Looking4Sluts: cum on his cock Looking4Sluts sent you a $200 gift.
The notification flashed across the screen, and you felt a surge of adrenaline, a wicked smile playing on your lips. “Do you see that, baby?”
He nodded against your neck.
“They want more of you,” you purred, letting your hips roll back against him, pressing yourself closer to his obvious erection. “They want to see just how good you make me feel.”
Your words went straight to his cock. His touch suddenly changed as he began to move faster against your clit, and a choked gasp spilled from your lips. But just as the pressure started to build rapidly, you quickly grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand from your panties.
“No, not yet,” you stopped him, turning your head to catch his ear, your lips brushing against the shell. “Wanna cum on your cock.”
He watched as you reached down and slowly hooked your fingers into the sides of your panties, sliding them down your legs. A thin string of your arousal followed as you lowered the fabric, clinging to the lace before it finally broke and left a glistening trail against your thigh.
His balls tightened painfully.
Princess.no1.fan: Holy shit, that’s so fucking hot JadenCums: fisting my cock so hard Fatcock_777: wreck that damn pussy PussyLover69: i bet she’s fucking tight Looking4Sluts: jesus christ, she’s dripping
Spencer’s mind emptied the moment you leaned forward, planting your palms firmly on the desk for balance. The way your body arched made his pulse stutter, a surge of heat rushing through him so quickly it almost left him lightheaded.
“Like… this? Standing?”
You glanced back at him over your shoulder. “Exactly like this.”
He could barely think straight. His hands moved on their own, one sliding over your hips, gripping you firmly, while the other fumbled with his waistband, desperately tugging his pants down. The fabric slid down over his thighs, and he bit back a groan as his cock sprang free, hard and aching, pressing against the bare skin of your ass.
He could feel the heat of you against him, and it took every ounce of self-control to keep himself from sinking into you all at once. He pressed in closer, feeling the steady thrum of his pulse echoing in the ache between you both as the tip of his cock settled right where your folds parted. He rocked his hips in shallow motions.
“Baby…” You tilted your hips just enough to align with him, “no teasing."
But hearing those words only made him want to draw it out even more. He let his bulging head nudge at your hole, barely dipping in before pulling back, feeling the way you instinctively pressed against him.
"Spe—" you faltered, then groaned. "Stop it."
He couldn’t help but smile as his fingers found the straps of your garter belt. He tugged on one gently, watching the elastic snap back against your skin. "But you look so pretty."
"I'll look prettier with your cock inside me."
That did it. With one last shaky exhale, Spencer gripped your hips firmly and began to sink himself into you, feeling the tight, warm stretch of your cunt.
“Oh my god,” you gasped. He felt a slight resistance as your body adjusted to him. He carefully gave a few gentle thrusts, easing in and out just enough for you to relax.
Looking4Sluts: fuck yes JadenCums: she's so fucking tight PeachyKeen420: look at him stretching her PussyFiend69: just watching this is gonna make me cum HotForTits: Fuck her harder dude she wants it
His eyes flickered to that last comment, and something inside him shifted, like a switch flipping. Without another thought, without any lingering trace of hesitation, he tightened his grip on your hips and pushed in all at once.
Your moan tore through the air. So. Fucking. Loud.
HotForTits sent you a $300 gift
The notification flashed across the screen, but Spencer barely registered it, his control was slipping further away as his hips moved on their own. He started to grind into you, eyes traveling to your connected bodies. You were practically swallowing his cock, clenching so tightly around him that he felt like you were pulling him deeper, refusing to let him go.
In a way, you did beg for it. Each time you met his thrusts with an eager roll of your hips, the sound of skin slapping together echoed around you. He would have thought he’d be shy doing this in front of so many watchful eyes, but the way you moved against him made it impossible to care.
It only made him bolder. He let his hand slide up your back, fingers fumbling slightly with the clasp of your bra before he unhooked it. The straps slipped down your shoulders, sliding down your arms, and then you were completely, utterly naked, except for the garter hugging your thighs.
You were so pretty like this, so incredibly beautiful it made his pulse stutter in his veins. You were so pretty that it was almost disorienting, as if looking at you too long might make him forget where he was. And in his mind, all the lofty notions of beauty and art seemed to fall flat compared to seeing you like this. He needed to see all of you.
A startled whimper left your lips when he suddenly pulled out.
“Can you angle the camera down?"
There was a knowing look in your eyes. Your fingers moved to adjust the tripod, and he wasted no time stripping himself. By the time you were done angling the camera, he was already sitting on the edge of your bed, his cock throbbing against his stomach.
He looked painfully hard. Hard enough that every heartbeat seemed to pulse visibly along his length. You crawled onto his lap.
“Hi.”
His palm found the curve of your hip. "Hi."
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, his fingers tightening around the base of his cock as he urged you to lift your hips. “I think I’m starting to understand why you do this.”
“Yeah?”
"Mhm.” He nudged his tip between your folds. “It’s kind of exciting.”
You let out a soft, breathy laugh, fingers curling into his shoulder for balance as you began to lower yourself. “See? Nothing to be nervous about.”
A deep groan escaped his lips the moment your walls tightened around him. “You make this seem easy.”
“Maybe you’re just a natural.”
He gave a low chuckle, but it caught in his throat when he felt the full length of his cock buried inside you. “I… ah… I think you’re the one making me look good.”
“Shut up,” you replied with a grin, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “You don’t need any help looking good right now, trust me.”
Spencer wasn’t entirely sure what to think about that. He’d never seen himself like this, not in the way you did. But when he glanced over your shoulder, catching a glimpse of the screen and the way your hips rolled over him, he started to believe it.
He looked like… well, like the porn he’d watched late at night in his room before you came along. But better. The kind that didn’t seem real, the kind that made him question if anyone actually had sex like that. He knew the vast majority of what’s portrayed in porn is exaggerated with only a small percentage even close to reality. Except this was real. It was really him, and you made it look like he knew what he was doing.
And sure, maybe he did in some way, albeit you being his only real experience. But that was the thing—he knew what made you tick. He could read the way your body reacted, knew the subtle cues that signaled when a whisper of his fingers could coax out a whimper or when the right shift of his hips would leave you trembling. And more than anything else, he knew how much you liked being watched.
He knew just how much it turned you on.
With that thought in mind, Spencer grabbed the firm swell of your ass and spread you open.
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Your body squirmed beneath his hands.
“Babe… what are you doing?”
He ran his tongue over his lips. “Giving them what they want.”
Then he spread your flesh even further, fingers digging into your supple skin as he held you open. The sight was undeniably lewd, and yet he couldn’t deny the surge of pride swelling in his chest as he held you like this, putting you on full display. But more than that, it was what you wanted. The tension coiled in his muscles as he thrust his hips up, watching the movement play out in the reflection over his shoulder.
He could see everything. The slow drag of his cock, the way it stretched you open with each push, leaving no inch of you untouched. Every time he thrust up into you, his length came back slick and shining, catching the light for a split second before disappearing inside you again.
There was something hypnotic in the rhythm, in the way your body seemed to swallow him whole. And somewhere in that steady push and pull, you visibly clenched around him, a vice-like grip that sent a shudder through his body and pulled a deep, harsh groan from his throat.
His hands tightened their grip on you, and before he could think twice, his hips began moving faster. You squealed, an actual high-pitched sound that he hadn’t expected. It was almost cute in a way—if cute was even the right word for what was happening. But there was nothing cute about the way his body reacted to that sound.
His hips bucked upward, again and again by an instinct he couldn’t control. He was so lost in the sensation of your warm, slick pussy that he barely registered the rising tension in his own body. It wasn’t until his muscles locked up, his hips jerking with one final, forceful snap, that it all crashed over him.
Oh shit.
A sudden rush of heat coursed through him as he spilled inside you, the realization hitting him a second too late. His breath came in shallow gasps, a deep groan escaping his throat as pleasure overwhelmed him, leaving him stunned and gasping for air.
You paused, feeling the unmistakable warmth of his release slowly seep inside you. “Baby?”
His eyes widened. “I’m sorry,” he blurted, sliding his hands up your waist. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—that was—”
Fast didn’t even come close to describing what happened.
You cut him off with a soft laugh, shaking your head as your fingers gently cupped his jaw. “Oh, honey,” you cooed. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
His eyes flickered to the camera behind you. “I ruined everything, didn’t I?”
You followed his gaze, then turned back to him with a smile. “Of course not,” you said softly, threading your fingers through his hair. “You kind of made everything better, actually.”
His brows knitted together. “I did?”
You nodded and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
“Do you know…”
You started to roll your hips again.
“How hot it is…”
A soft squelch filled the air.
“To fuck with your cum inside me?”
He could barely comprehend the words that had just left your mouth, let alone the feeling of you moving against him. His eyelids struggled to stay open, the question catching in his throat before it spilled out in a breathy whisper. “Hot?”
“Insanely hot.”
Spencer couldn’t describe what happened after that. Obscene didn’t even begin to cover it. Surreal, maybe? But even that word felt lacking. It was all too real. You were rocking your hips on his lap, and the wet, sticky sounds filling the room were undeniably his own doing.
He held your hips tighter, half in an effort to steady himself, half because he didn’t know what else to do. The words were gone. Logic was gone. The only thing that existed was you, grinding against him with the same intensity that had already undone him once.
And he knew he was going to lose it again.
You leaned forward, your forehead pressing gently against his. “Spence, baby,” you whispered, making sure your voice was soft, just loud enough that only he could hear. “Can you fuck me again?”
He couldn’t say no even if he tried. His hands slipped beneath your thighs, fingers curling with just enough force to lift you, tilting your hips for better leverage. The shift pulled a startled gasp from you and you clung to him for balance, but he didn’t give you a moment to catch your breath. His hips met yours in a swift, demanding snap.
The sound of your body meeting was unmistakable, a rhythmic slap that would’ve made him blush if he were in any state to think clearly. But right now, all he could focus on was the mess he’d made of you, the way his cum seeped out, sliding down his cock in slow drips. Whenever he thrust into you, there seemed to be more spilling out, leaving thick, creamy streaks painted across your inner thighs.
Spencer had messy sex before (all with you, of course) but this was on a whole different level. It was chaotic—unapologetically filthy. The wetness between you spread everywhere. He could feel it pooling against his thighs, trickling down your legs, and the damp sheets beneath you were clinging uncomfortably to his knees while the heady scent of sex hit his nostrils.
And your voice wasn’t helping his self-control. It was high-pitched with a tremor, somewhere between a moan and a desperate whine tumbling out in a jumble of words that barely made any sense. Your voice grew higher each minute, more frantic, until finally, he could make out a few clear words through the haze.
“Gonna c-cum,” you moaned, “I’m gonna cu—ah fuck yesyesyes—”
A final, helpless cry pushed him over the edge.
He came for the second time tonight. He tried to hold back, but the way you were clenching around him, your body pulsing through your sudden orgasm tore down what little control he had left. He groaned, burying his face in your neck as his release overtook him again, shocked that he still had anything left to give as he emptied inside you.
The intensity bordered on painful. He could feel his body pushing to its limits and every pulse of pleasure felt like it was wringing him dry. And it was no less intense for you. You jerked against him, body twitching, sweat beading on your skin. Your muscles tightened and relaxed with the rhythm of his racing heartbeat as the last spark of pleasure finally washed over you.
Neither of you moved for a while after that. The only sound in the room was your labored breathing, the heavy rise and fall of your chests pressed together.
You were the first to break the silence.
“Baby,” you hummed, a soft, breathless laugh escaping your lips, “I think that might’ve been the hottest stream we’ve ever done.”
It took a second for your words to sink in, and when they did, his eyes widened slightly. The camera was still on. The audience was still there. His nose pressed harder against your neck as he tried to hide in embarrassment.
“Really? You’re getting shy now?“
His soft groan vibrated against your skin. “I wasn’t exactly thinking about the camera,” he mumbled, his voice muffled against your neck. “It left my mind the moment I… you know.”
You smiled, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Oh, I know. I could tell.”
You started to peel yourself off of him, only for his arms to tighten around your waist. You gave a playful tap on his shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
“Holding you.”
“Why?”
“My brain needs a moment to process this.”
Your hand danced aimlessly across his back. “Still embarrassed?”
“Mortified,” he confirmed.
A giggle slipped out of you, and you wiggled your hips. “We still need to clean up. I don’t think you want to stay like this forever.”
He let out a sound of protest but didn’t loosen his grip. “Just a few more minutes.”
Smiling at his stubbornness, you slid your fingers into his hair, letting your nails scrape lightly against his scalp. "Spencer," you said gently, making sure the mic didn't pick up your voice. “I need to turn off the cam.”
"They wouldn't mind watching us a little longer."
You sighed, feeling the undeniable stickiness between your thighs. It wasn’t the most comfortable feeling, and the warmth was quickly turning into a mess that would need attention sooner rather than later. But there was something so sweet about the way he wanted to hold you that it made it impossible to resist.
"Fine," you relented with a quiet laugh, "five more minutes."
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amiableness · 1 month ago
Text
Kiss and Makeup
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Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader
Summary: James ruins reader’s date and attempts to make it better.
Word Count: 2829
Warnings: Jealous!James; kissing; and reader wearing heels, jewelry and makeup.
A/N 💌: A quick James oneshot that’s been on my mind, but I’m heavily consider making a second part to this.
As usual, thank you to @moonpascal for reading!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Go on, kiss and make up!” Sirius' voice trails after you as you hurry down the corridor, James close on your heels. On any other day, you might have tossed a playful jab back at Sirius, well-accustomed to his relentless teasing about you and James. But today, the weight of everything made your throat tighten, leaving you silent, your focus fixed on reaching the safety of your dorm.
The sharp click of your heels echoed off the stone walls, and James' muttering about your surprising speed in heels barely registers. Your anger simmers, blocking out his words as you storm ahead and shove the door open. James is right behind you, catching it just before it could slam shut in his face, determined not to let you shut him out.
“Get out, Jamie.” Though your voice was laced with anger, the way you used his nickname gave him a glimmer of hope. It wasn’t hopeless—there was still a chance to make everything better.
“I’m not leaving until we figure this out.” James says, stepping forward and leaning against the post of Lily's bed as he watches you roll your eyes and turn into the room. He doesn’t say anything as you begin furiously grabbing clothes and scattered heels off the floor—remnants of you getting ready for a date, now tainted by the tension hanging between you two.
“There’s nothing to figure out! You ruined my date, plain and simple.” You spin around, clutching a black heel in your hand, and for a fleeting moment, James braces himself, half-expecting you to launch it at him in a fit of frustration. But it’s you, his sweet best friend—the one who cares so deeply for others that you always put them before yourself. It’s a trait that drives James a little crazy sometimes, knowing you’d sacrifice your own happiness without a second thought.
The realization only sharpens the sting of your anger, an unfamiliar weight he’s not used to carrying. He can recall times you’ve been disappointed—maybe after one of his careless pranks or his thoughtless disregard for someone’s feelings—but never this. Never this level of anger.
“I said I was sorry.” He tries, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches you scoff and turn away, angrily kicking off your heels. You bend down to pick them up, and despite himself, his eyes drift to the curve of your body. He knows he shouldn’t be looking, but he can’t help it—he’s never been able to take his eyes off you. And now, a bitter feeling twists in his gut, knowing you're dressed all pretty for someone else.
“You're not, though. Why the fuck did you feel the need to scare him off?” You toss the heels into your trunk and turn to face him, arms crossed. He opens his mouth to respond, but the words die before they form—because he doesn’t know how to tell you the truth. He knows exactly why, but admitting it out loud would change everything between you. And he’s not sure he’s ready for that.
The silence between you stretches, heavy and unspoken, as you wait for an answer he isn’t ready to give. You both know exactly what you're waiting for—a proper explanation.
One you’ve been holding out hope for, quietly, for years.
“It's not fair, you know.” You let out a deep sigh, turning to face your desk, your gaze falling on the mirror. James watches as you begin to remove your jewelry, your back turned to him, but his reflection still catches glimpses of you. The anger in your voice has softened, but he knows that if he says the wrong thing, it could all flare up again, as sharp and sudden as before.
“What isn't?” He hesitates, watching you carefully as he takes a cautious step forward. His eyes follow the way your lips part in the mirror, the soft exhale of frustration escaping you as you fumble with your necklace.
He wants to step forward, to gently brush your hair aside and unfasten the clasp, to press a soft kiss against the back of your neck once the necklace slips away. But he can’t—so he remains still, trapped in silence, as he watches you instead.
“Why is it that you go out with girl after girl, but when I show interest in a guy, you scare him off?” You already knew the answer—weren’t blind to it. It had been clear to everyone that you and James had been circling each other for years, dancing around unspoken words.
But he refused to admit that he cared for you as more than friends. It felt pointless to tell him how you felt when it was clear James was intent on keeping you in the friend zone.
From the moment crushes became a part of your life, James had been yours. But you were never certain about his feelings—until that one night when he got blackout drunk and confessed he was in love with you. He has no memory of that drunken night, but you overheard him later, telling the boys he’d never drink that much again because he wanted to actually remember the parties he went to. You’d felt a pang of disappointment, but you were gathering the courage to confront him about it. Then, the next day, he hooked up with a girl from Ravenclaw, and just like that, all your resolve crumbled, leaving you feeling more invisible than ever.
He didn’t remember what he’d said, and if he was out with other girls, it was clear he didn’t care enough to mention it while sober.
That was a year ago, and you still hadn’t brought it up. 
So, to cope with the mess of it all, you went on a date—a rare one, the first in nearly a year. And now, here was James, wrecking it all over again.
“I—” He stops himself, clearing his throat, the tension in his voice betraying the lie before he even finishes. “I don’t think that’s true. You go out on dates.”
He knew he spent a lot of time flirting with girls—whether it was during class, when he should have been paying attention, or at parties where conversation flowed too easily. But when someone showed interest in you? That was a different story altogether. He’d like to blame it on the fact that you were his best friend, but deep down, he knew better. He was protective of you because he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone looking at you the way he did. Was it selfish? Definitely. But the thought of losing you terrified him more than anything.
“You know that’s a lie. You saw how excited I was! Why did you take that from me?” You were fully aware of how weak and accusatory your voice sounded, but you didn’t care. You were hurt, and it was clear in the way you shook your head, disappointment heavy in every movement. James watched your reflection, noticing the way you swallowed hard as if trying to shove down the swell of emotions threatening to break free. And with that, a wave of guilt slammed into his stomach, settling there like a stone.
“I just didn't want him to hurt you!” 
"So you decided to take that off his hands and hurt me instead?" You scoffed, making James flinched as if you had slapped him. It probably would have hurt less if you had.
“Merlin, no! Sweetheart, that wasn't what I was trying to do—”
“Then what were you trying to do, James? Because I'm getting tired of this little game, we have going on.” 
He lets out a shaky breath, his eyes following your hand as you gently remove one of your earrings. For a moment, your gazes meet through the mirror, and the weight of it all presses down on him. He wishes, desperately, that you would just turn around and face him.
He was racking his brain, searching for the right words, trying to find a way to fix this. He considered stepping back, giving you space like he did when you got agitated with him. But this felt different. It wasn’t just about a moment of frustration—it was something deeper, something that could damage your friendship permanently if he didn’t speak up. He knew he had to fix this.
“You guys make up yet?” Sirius hollered, and James could practically picture him standing at the  bottom of the stairs with his hands cupped around his mouth as he shouted at the both of you.
Sirius' words from earlier echoed in his head as if they were taunting him, swirling around like a cruel mantra. 
Go on, kiss and make up.
It felt like an accusation, a reminder of how much he’d messed up. He could feel the weight of it pressing down on him, twisting in his gut. Every nerve in his body screamed that his next move would either make everything worse—digging the hole even deeper—or finally give him a chance to tell you why he’d ruined your date. But the fear of losing you pushed him forward.
“Tell me to stop, sweetheart.”
“Stop what—?” You ask, tossing your last piece of jewelry into the ceramic dish with a sharp clang before turning to face James. Your breath catching in your throat as he moves closer, and without thinking, you instinctively take a step back, bumping into your desk. The sudden movement rattles the items on top, sending a soft, anxious clatter through the room.
A sharp gasp escapes your lips as James reaches out, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his thumb grazing the edge of your jaw. You stare up at him, wide-eyed, and James can’t help but think how pretty you look—more than he’s ever allowed himself to admit. 
He’s never been able to admire you like this before, not without the constant fear of you catching him.
His hands are shaky, and his proximity to you is making him nervous in a way that he couldn’t quite shake. But he didn’t know how else to explain himself. So, tentatively, he let his fingers graze your skin, admiring how you melted into him. He watches, heart pounding, as your lashes flutter and your lips part in surprise at the softness of his touch. The anger in your eyes had faded, leaving behind disbelief and something that looked dangerously close to hope.
He startles both himself and you when the words slip out, low and raw: “You make me so fucking nervous.” You blink up at him, silent, processing the confession. His gaze drifts over the mascara you’d carefully applied, the gloss glistening on your lips—details he hadn’t noticed before, but now felt like a punch to his gut. The jealousy flares, burning hot and fast in the pit of his stomach. It was devastating to realize you were all dressed up, and it wasn’t for him. Those heels, those glossed lips—they were for a guy who hardly knew you. 
Not like James knew you.
You part your lips, and James unknowingly silences you with a gentle brush of his thumb just beneath your lower lip. A soft, satisfied smile tugs at his mouth as he hears the gasp escape you. His hand rests on your left hip, pulling you closer, grounding you against him. The tension in the room thickens, and just like that, your anger has melted.
“If you want me to stop, just say the word, sweetheart.” He murmurs, his voice low and thick with intention as he edged closer. His fingers caressing your jaw, tilting your face upwards, bringing you within a breath of him. The air between you crackles, heavy and charged, and you feel the pull—the tempting, intoxicating proximity. He was so close now, you could feel the warmth of his breath, and all it would take was the slightest movement for his lips to claim yours.
You thought about saying it—the words were right there, just on the tip of your tongue. But then his lips brushed against yours just barely, and everything else faded away. You couldn’t bring yourself to say no—not when this was something you’d wanted for years. Even with the anger simmering inside you, the frustration over James ruining your date, you couldn’t pull away.
Not now. Not when he was so close.
If anything, a strange sense of relief was starting to wash over you—relief that he had ruined it. Because if he hadn’t, it might have been another guy standing where he was now, and the thought of that made something tighten painfully in your chest.
“Last chance.” He mumbled, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes, searching for any sign that you might stop him. The only sound between you was the uneven rhythm of your breaths, erratic and heavy, pulsing with the desire that surged between you both. When you didn’t say a thing, no rejection, no hesitation—only the warmth of your breath mingling with his—he offered a barely-there smile before leaning in, his lips finally capturing yours with a slow, gentle kiss.
He started slow, cautious, as if afraid he might push you away. But the wrecked hum that escaped your throat—the sound of pure desire—told him everything he needed to know. You wanted this as much as he did.
It was overwhelming how quickly the kiss shifted—what started as sweet and searching, quickly turned frantic and hungry. The slow, deliberate pace gave way to a fiery urgency. The gentle brush of lips became a desperate meeting of mouths as the two of you gave into years of pining.
Your hands, which had been gripping the edge of the desk hard, moved slowly toward him. You let your fingers trail up his stomach, feeling the dips and ridges before reaching his chest. Your other hand found its way into his curls, you tugged softly, the motion pulling a low, pleasure-filled groan from deep within him. That sound, the sound of him unraveling, seemed to shatter something inside James. In an instant, he stepped closer—if that was even possible—until your bodies were pressed together, the heat between you two undeniable, consuming.
He pulled away just an inch, and the desperate whine that escaped your lips was enough to pull him back in, his arms circling your waist before effortlessly lifting you onto the desk. You gasped his name, the sound caught in your throat, as his lips claimed yours again, urgent and hungry. One hand slid around your thigh, pulling you closer, the heat of his body pressing against yours as he stood between your parted legs. His grip on your hip was firm, grounding, while his other hand found its place at the side of your throat, fingers warm and possessive.
You had never been kissed like this before. It was overwhelming—an all-consuming heat that ignited deep in your belly as James kissed you with a hunger, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life.
And it was ruining you, because if this was how it felt to kiss James Potter, you never wanted to be kissed by anyone else ever again.
He rocked his hips against yours, the pressure making you gasp, and that breathless sound was all he needed. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth, tasting you as if he couldn’t get enough. You were so completely immersed in him—the feel of his lips, the taste of him—that the low, teasing whistle from your doorway barely registered in your mind.
“Bloody hell, I didn’t expect you to actually go and kiss her.” Sirius’ voice rang out, loud and unfiltered. The words struck a panic through you, your body warming with embarrassment as you instinctively tucked your head into James’ chest, hoping to hide from the intrusion. You would recognize Sirius’ voice anywhere, and you knew you would be teased about this for ages.
James, with you still propped on the desk, remained a shield, his body pressed protectively against yours. He glanced over at Sirius and Remus, who stood by the doorway. Sirius, leaning against the doorframe, raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips, while Remus stood next to him, his usually calm demeanor showing signs of awkwardness.
“Fuck off and shut the door, mate.” James groans, his arms pulling you tighter as he fights the urge to hurl a book at Sirius and Remus. Instead, he sends them a warning glare and brings a hand up to the back of your head, the heat of the moment still burning between you, and silently dares them to say anything more.
The boys hesitate, but not before Sirius calls out with a teasing smirk, “Didn’t know you had it in you, Potter. You finally got your girl.” And just like that, the door slams shut, leaving the air thick with tension and you cringing in embarrassment.
Maybe telling him you loved him wasn’t that pointless after all.
please consider reblogging or leaving a comment! it keeps me motivated to write and spread my work! 🤍
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luveline · 5 months ago
Note
could you write plss write something about JJ’s confession and spencer is with bombshell reader and loves her entirely but she gets extremly scared and insecure??
Your usual confidence is shaken after JJ’s confession, but Spencer is emphatically in love with you. fem, 1.5k
Spencer gives you a rundown after every case. Not just as a colleague who missed it, but as his partner who he loves. This one comes out slowly. Maybe even reluctantly. 
He’s recounting the moment JJ had been forced to tell a secret. “She told me she’s always loved me, but that things are too complicated now.” 
You freeze in total bewilderment, your mug of hot tea swelling over the rim to warm your fingers. Further overwhelmed, you set it down on the coffee table. 
You’re in pyjamas on the couch. Spencer sits in sweatpants on the other end of it, his own cup of tea in hand. He’s watching you carefully. You’d felt generously comfortable only moments ago, riding the high of his continued survival, but now you’re feeling sick.. 
“She told you she loves you?”  
“That she was too scared to tell me before.” 
“And what do you think about that?” 
“I think if I never met you, I would’ve spent half of my life calling after her.” His lips quirk into one of those typical awkward Spencer smiles. “What should I think?” 
“I can't really tell you what to think, Spencer.” 
If he never met you, he’d still want JJ? Or if you weren’t in the way, he’d be with her now? Or what? 
You’ve never been the insecure type, to begin. You met Spencer when you were both rookies trying to establish themselves in the BAU, Spencer as a new member, and you as a hopeful applicant. Each time you liaised, or came around to annoy your good friend Derek Morgan, Spencer would be there, looking cute and lonely as ever. It was easy to become his friend. Easier again to fall in love with him. 
Not easy to convince him you truly wanted to be with him, but you were persistent, and… honestly, you’ve never been in love with someone like you have Spencer. That’s why JJ’s confession sends ice water down your back. 
He lets you steep for a few minutes, but ultimately can’t take the weird silence. 
“Hey,” he says, clear worry in his tone as he puts his own mug on the coffee table and moves to sit beside you, his hand falling onto your knee. “Hey, what’s that face about?” 
“What face?” you ask, schooling your expression. 
“That face.” His head tips to the side. 
“I’m not making a face.” 
“I know you…” he says, a tenderness to him as his hand slips under your leg, his fingers pressing into the softest skin behind your knee. 
“What else did she say?” 
He nods with understanding. “She said she was too scared to say it before, and that things are complicated now, I guess because everything’s changed so much.” 
“She has a family.” 
“Angel, even if she didn’t, you think that would make a difference?” He finds your hand for kissing. “What do you think I said to her? I love you. I told her I love you, she already knew that, but I told her again. I said there’s nothing complicated about it.” 
You stare at him. 
“Nothing complicated about it,” he repeats, pressing your kissed hand to his neck and covering it soundly with his own.  
You’re not expecting the insecurity of it. You and Spencer have never been on surer footing. Every day with him seems to guarantee the next. He just has to look at you and you know he’s your person, but you forgot he could just love somebody else if he wanted to. You forgot he even liked JJ to begin with. This sudden reminder is like having your legs kicked out from under you. 
You panic. 
“I love you,” he says, your hand moving down, pressed with fever to his chest. “More than anyone.” 
“I love you too… I just– I guess I thought JJ was my friend,” you say. 
“She is. She said she needed something that would shock the UnSub… I don’t think she expected anything to change. We just needed to get out of there.” 
He almost died and you’re thinking about JJ. Shit, JJ could’ve died. 
You bow your head. “I’m sorry.” 
“Oh, no, for what? For what?” He sandwiches you to his side. “I’m sorry, it’s not fair. It puts you in a bad position. But you don’t have anything to worry about, I love you, and I don’t have any feelings for JJ.” 
You wonder if that’s true. 
You’re being unlike yourself. Embarrassed, you hide your face in his collar and let him hug you gently. 
“Sorry.” 
“I’m sorry,” he says, “I have no idea what to do right now.” 
Insecurity isn’t your style, but it’s not something that can be helped. You have, through everything, pioneered desperately to put your best foot forward. You wear clothes ordered to fit and then tailored for good measure, you take care of your appearance in a way that others might find objectionable. Who you are outwardly is just as important to you as the inward, which makes this all the worse. You hate being out of control. 
Spencer can make it better, despite his insistence on cluelessness. “You know it could never be anyone else but you, right?” he asks softly. 
“Sorry, I’m just… I’m not angry because she didn’t have a choice, but do you really believe she didn’t mean it? She could’ve made up a hundred different lies.” 
“I think she meant it,” he says, still speaking softly. 
“You understand why that would freak me out, right? If you never met me, you could be with her.” 
“I can’t imagine a universe where we don’t meet,” he says. 
Spencer delivers it with that sincere yet shy honesty that he tends to say many things. Like it’s simple, like he’s aware of how cleanly cut it is, and like he’s worried you won’t agree with him. 
You try not to act so small, straightening your back, and sewing an arm behind his neck and over his shoulder. You’re not feeling a hundred percent just yet, and so you press your forehead to his cheek, his hair kissing your  ear. Spencer drags your leg across his thigh and lets you stew for a little while. 
“I don’t want to be with JJ.” He squeezes you closer, nearly has you in his lap. “Is that what you’re worried about? If I never met you, I wouldn’t want to be with her, because she had no interest in me, or– or maybe she did, but she didn’t show it. I know exactly what it feels like now to be loved without remorse, to– to never be told I’m too much. JJ is one of my best friends in the whole world, but you’re my heart. You’re the only person who’s ever liked me for me, all of me, even when I know it wasn’t easy.” 
“It’s always easy,” you murmur.
“That’s not the only reason I love you, but it’s important. JJ’s smart and she’s beautiful and she’s such a good mom, but she’s not you. She could never be you, and I don’t want anyone that isn’t you.” 
You don’t want him to say cruel things about JJ and you’re glad when he doesn’t, but you definitely need his assurance that he prefers you. Then you feel silly, because it’s your bed he comes home to, your hip he’s caressing as he waxes poetic for you. 
You feel less like he doesn’t love you and more like you’ve made a fool of yourself for even suggesting it. “Am I your best friend?” you ask (childishly, depending on who you ask). 
“You’re my best friend. You’re the best friend. Every day I get to be with you is perfect.” 
“That’s really romantic,” you mumble, nearly not quite kidding as you rub the tip of your nose into his cheek. 
“You bring it out of me.” 
You sigh and wrap your arms around him tightly. “Thanks, Dr. Reid. I think you fixed me.” 
“You’re still making a face.” 
“You almost died today, baby. JJ isn’t the sole thing on my mind.” 
“Almost died is an exaggeration. We almost die all the time.” 
You sniff his hair at your discretion. When he holds you like he’s doing now, you realise you have no need to worry. How can he squeeze your soft sides and chase your nose with his if he doesn’t mean what he says? Spencer’s not like that. 
“I’m sorry I overreacted,” you say. 
“I don’t think you did. But would you feel better if I say it’s okay? Because it’s okay. I’m sorry for telling you something I knew would upset you, but we don’t–”
“Have secrets, I know.” 
You give him a teeny kiss by his ear. 
“Thank you,” he murmurs pleasantly. 
You press another right on top of the first. Slower, you peel away to stroke his hair. His eyes hold all the proof you need —you’re loved without competition. 
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ann1eee · 2 months ago
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Everyone will leave me behind, right?
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You overheard Satoru talking to Yuji. Why did he always feel like he was unloved? You didn’t want to leave him behind, ever. You wanted to be a part of his love and his dreams, but you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell him how you felt. You were his fellow teacher, his confidante, his friend. No way you’d ruin the deepest relationship you’ve had with someone over your feelings, which may or may not be reciprocated.
The battle ended, and the King of Curses had been defeated. Megumi was back, courtesy of Yuji and Nobara. Satoru made it out alive, but just barely.
When you saw the world slash almost hit him, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. There was no way you could accept him being gone, and no way you’d let that happen.
You had launched an attack of your own to divert Sukuna’s slash, which prevented a critical hit for Satoru. This allowed the others to take over, and defeat the King once and for all, whilst you accompanied Satoru out of the battle.
Finally, after all was over, you didn’t waste a single second and spent the whole time by Satoru’s side. You stayed with him at Shoko’s clinic, took care of him and waited for the perfect moment to tell him how you felt.
You waited until he spoke to the students, tossing their letters away since they didn’t need to read them after all. He settled things with the remaining sorcerers, and finally found a moment of peace.
You found him that evening, taking a stroll through the beautiful gardens of Jujutsu Tech. He looked angelic in the soft moonlight, and you felt your heart skip a beat. He beamed ecstatically as he saw you come into view, and walked to you.
You smiled at him and held his hand, leading him to your favourite place in the garden, a secluded spot with a few stone benches and raking vines. You sat close to him and gulped.
“Everything is over now huh?” You whispered.
“We’re all okay. It’s over.” He replied, matching your octave.
“I know what you said to Yuji.” You felt your heart race as you continued.
“I don’t know if what I’m about to say means anything to you, but I want you to know that you’re always going to be a part of my life, Toru. Everytime I picture my future as a sorceress, no matter who else is a part of it, I know for certain you will be. All the uncertainty that we have as sorcerers means nothing to me, because I never considered that you wouldn’t be there. If everyone else thinks of you as ‘The Strongest’, just know that I always think of you as Satoru. I love you, and I always want you to be a part of my life, as I am of yours.”
You stared into his eyes, scanning for any change of emotion, confusion, sadness, maybe even anger. But there was nothing. He turned his head away and looked to the sky.
Confused, and still rattled from your confession, you got up and stood right in front of him.
Your eyes widened as you saw the expression on his face.
Big, fat tears rolling down his temples and into his hair as he stared into the sky. His lips, red with the constant assault of his teeth. My god, you made him cry. You had never seen him cry, and you never would have thought he cried like this.
Your face grew worried as you cupped his cheeks.
“Toru, I’m sorry if that was too much. Please don’t cry?” You tried to console him.
Suddenly, he stood up and wrapped his strong arms around your body. He buried his face into your neck and sobbed quietly. You held him tight, growing more worried by the second.
“Thank you, y/n. You truly don’t know how much that means to me. I want you to be a part of my life as long as I live. You’re my dream.”
You pulled away from him, eyes welling up with tears. You reached out to touch his face, and wiped his beautiful eyes. He smiled at you so softly you could swear he was an angel.
He bent down and kissed you, as if he was waiting his whole life for you. You wrapped your arms around him as you deepened the kiss.
“Let’s go home.”
@kalopsia-flaneur
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foldingfittedsheets · 10 months ago
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I’ve always been a pretty good liar. As an adult I’ve come to a moral place in which I don’t use that skill set unless it will explicitly benefit someone. But when I was a kid all bets were off.
I think tiny child me was doing their little autistic best but recognized that some situations would be best navigated by lying as telling the truth never netted positive results. Whether it was because my needs often went unmet or ignored, or because I didn’t see any reason not to lie if it would be more favorable, I’m not sure.
This is the story of my proudest lie. The best lie I ever did. A lie that looking back I still go, damn, I was eight.
Our story begins in second grade. I was eight. My school was having a book fair and I spent my small stipend on Gulliver’s Travels. No idea why. Lacking further funds I wandered the fair and came upon the greatest sight known to man. Frog erasers. They were so cute and I was extremely into animals of all kinds.
The whimsy. Who could have known they made erasers in such wonderful shapes? I mourned that I’d spent my money already, and played quietly with the little frogs in their bin. That’s when I was approached by a few other kids from my class.
I didn’t know most of them very well, but enough that it was civil when they asked me, “Are you going to buy those frogs?”
“I’d like to,” I admitted, “but I spent all my money.”
“Why don’t you steal them?”
“I thought about that, but I don’t have pockets.” Indeed, stealing had crossed my mind but it had been a brief temptation. I wasn’t even scandalized that the other girls suggested it.
“Caitlin has pockets,” the leader of the pack said. And indeed, Caitlin in her purple overalls did have pocket space for two frogs. So Caitlin and I became partners. My role in the escapade was just... wanting frogs and walking out with her. We stole two frogs, a yellow and a purple, and united by the misdeed we played together with them at recess despite not really being friendly prior.
After lunch I was called from class to the library. The principal herself was there waiting for me. She had a somber air, almost mournful that she needed to punish me. It was self evident to me that I was here for frog crimes. Caitlin had cracked and taken the fastest route to forgiveness- snitching on an accomplice. Despite the fact that my role was just: wanted frogs, I knew I was going to be in trouble.
Now, I could have told the truth. Pulled a Caitlin and ratted on the girl who told us to steal them. But clearly I’d still be in trouble for having gone along with the morally bereft plan. I was mad at Caitlin for telling but not enough to foist the onus back into her.
“Do you know why you’re here?” The principal asked kindly.
“Is it about the frogs?”
“Yes, Caitlin told us you stole the frogs.”
I quivered my lip and drew myself up indignantly. “I didn’t steal them!”
She blinked at my vehemence but since I looked near tears she carefully asked, “What happened?”
“I really wanted the frogs, but I didn’t have any money. So I asked the librarian if I could take them and bring the money tomorrow! But she was really busy and lots of people were talking to her, and she said yes! But maybe she was saying yes to someone else? And I thought it was to me but Caitlin didn’t, but I was going to bring money tomorrow!”
The principal. Was flummoxed. This was a situation in which I clearly thought I’d done no wrong, in which she couldn’t prove I had done anything wrong, and which the librarian would almost certainly not be able to weigh in. She regarded me not with suspicion but rather vaguely confused as to how to handle me.
I got off with a slight warning that I should pay for things before taking them, despite not having been the one to take things in the first place, and the frogs were confiscated.
I was vaguely worried they’d call my parents but years later when I admitted the story to my mom as an adult she laughed herself sick and said she’d never gotten a call.
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