#‘more hopeful ending’ my ass the reason I am rabid about this book is because of how far in they go on both Marie Laure AND Werner

[lizardinkart]

I will literally pay anyone who has read “All The Light We Cannot See” for their thoughts on this show. Because I, for one, was skeptical but ok with it until the very end

And oh boy.

That ending!

[rhowena]

Pile of stuff concerning what happened to Loki between Thor and The Avengers

Originally posted on r/FanTheories

https://inforapid.org/webapp/webapp.php?shareddb=IAxUFHnwkGJSYMj9OFbT8mRl5goHm9SC2qHbWw4knO1cng5qI5Wrg48nP1MdgbWlJmHj6UpwbN343IqnstQUwxIIO01M5Rvb

As it does not escape my notice that I’ve created a digital version of this meme, some navigation help for anyone who needs it:

Mouse over/tap an item or relation to view its description

For items with the yellow ‘Note’ label, select the node and then 'Notes on Item’ in the side menu to view an additional notes page

If an item has a globe icon it the top-left corner, click it to open a webpage

'Adjust View’ in the side menu has controls to zoom in/out, increase/decrease the distance between items, and filter items or relations by category

Relations (and items) are color-coded by type: solid green lines are for in-universe evidence (light green connects evidence to the theory it supports, while dark green connects pieces of evidence that should be looked at together), purple dotted lines denote parallels, and dark red lines mark cases of “one of these things is not like the other”

And an overview of the theories contained therein:

First, the central piece of tinfoil around which all other tinfoil is arrayed: remember how, at the end of the first Thor, Loki was pathologically obsessed with gaining his father’s approval? And how, when he next showed up after vanishing for an entire year, he’d gotten mixed up with a guy who keeps a menagerie of adopted children? And how, during his argument with Thor on the mountaintop, he said this?

Loki: Did you mourn? Thor: We all did. Our father– Loki: Your father. He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?

Loki: I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract and when I wield it—

Tom Hiddleston: There’s a bit where Thor says, “We all mourned! Our father…” and Loki interrupts him and says, “YOUR father.” And it’s that sense of 'don’t include me in this anymore. I have no relation or connection to you.’ It’s his way of saying 'I’ve let go, I’m gone, I’m on the outside of the fence, I’m happy here, I don’t want to come back in.’

If I may take a minute to get out some of my extremely complicated feelings on this, while there’s a bunch more evidence in favor of Loki having been another of Thanos’s children that can be viewed on the mind map, I want to highlight this pair of quotes because it’s everything implied by the words “Your father” that makes it into a devastating punch in the stomach which draws on both halves of Loki’s Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds characterization: his genuine love for his family is his primary redeeming quality and that he forswore it like this puts the terrible moment when he first knelt before Thanos and pledged himself to the Mad Titan’s service firmly into archetypal Faustian sell-your-soul territory, but when you consider the straits he was in at the time and the implication that Thanos initially ensnared him not through promises of power but by preying on him emotionally, it’s a very human kind of tragic mistake.

The other mitigating factor is that based on everything we’ve heard from Thanos’s other children, it’s a safe bet that he did in fact do unspeakably horrible things to Loki too – indeed, noticing the resemblance between the existing theories about Loki having been tortured/brainwashed and Gamora’s “He took me, tortured me, turned me into a weapon” was what prompted the above realization in the first place. (It’s reminiscent of Theon’s storyline in ASOIAF/GOT: yeah, he betrayed his adoptive family and did some generally awful stuff, but no one deserves what happened to him.) It also bears emphasizing that accountability cuts both ways: one of the key takeaways from the previous bullet point is that the suffering Loki went through doesn’t absolve him of responsibility for his villainous actions, but the other side of the coin is that Loki’s partial complicity doesn’t absolve Thanos of responsibility for the choice he made to take a broken, desperate young man who’d just lost everything and turn him into the rabid animal we saw during The Avengers, and I dearly hope that exploring the rich font of psychological horror that is that time period will erase any remaining doubt that Thanos’s claims of acting For The Greater Good are nothing but empty, egotistical, self-righteous posturing and everyone in the audience who insists on taking them at face value is being duped just as Loki was.

Stephen: No. I mean, come on. Look at your face. Dormammu made you a murderer. Just how good can his kingdom be?

As for where this is all going, I believe there’s a good chance that the Loki Disney+ series will be where they finally address this as a. the split timeline Loki the series will be following is still fresh from his time with Thanos and it will therefore have to explain what happened if we’re to understand the kind of headspace that he’s in at that moment and b. Tom Hiddleston has revealed that the series will also clarify whether or not Loki really is dead in the main timeline, and everything I have so far indicates that understanding the nature of his original pact with Thanos is essential to understanding both Loki’s choice to die and Thanos’s choice to kill him (see the 'Pledge of fidelity’ and 'Limited use’ notes pages on the mind map). Character-wise, I think one of the points of emphasis will be that Loki’s death in Infinity War doesn’t wrap up his story as neatly as it may appear to on the surface; truly completing his redemption arc will require him to confront this part of his past in full, and with it his guilt over everything he’s done and his fear that he’s wrecked his life and relationship with his family so thoroughly that he can never, ever fix them.

Loki: Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? […] Your ledger is dripping, it’s gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer… PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code. Something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will *never* go away!

An additional giant red flag indicating we really should be asking more questions about that time gap is a group of lines in The Avengers which reveal that Thanos taught Loki how to use the Tesseract.

The Other: The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world. A human world. They would wield its power, but our ally knows its workings as they never will.

The Other: You question us? You question HIM? He, who put the Scepter in your hand? Who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated?

Loki: I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract and when I wield it— Thor: Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be king?

Sharing that kind of knowledge and power with someone as volatile as Loki strikes me as an monumentally terrible idea (and as much as I don’t want to be the person who throws a tantrum because their fanfic didn’t come true, I’m kinda salty that Thanos was defeated without it coming back to bite him in the ass), which leaves me wondering what Thanos hoped to gain that he believed would be worth the risks. My thoughts on that particular sub-puzzle are still somewhat hazy, but my basic sense is that there’s something weird going on between Loki and the Tesseract and wanting to exploit that connection is one of the reasons Thanos went to all the trouble of breaking him into submission.

Loki: So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?

The other reason for Thanos’s interest in Loki ties back to all that emotional twistiness I talked about earlier: he planned to leverage Loki’s anger and resentment towards his family in a bid to destroy Odin and Asgard from the inside.

Zemo: An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within? That’s dead… forever.

As a prelude to this, during The Avengers Thanos had additionally tasked Loki with killing Thor as a way to prove his loyalty and destroy the last remaining shreds of his own humanity, a test Loki failed because he still loved his brother too much.

Coulson: You’re going to lose. It’s in your nature. […] You lack conviction.

What’s more, Thanos anticipated this, and the Scepter’s influence over Loki was aimed at forcing him to go through with it if he refused.

Loki: I won’t touch Barton, not until I make him kill you! Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he’ll wake, just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I’ll split his skull!

Lastly, even with Infinity War having established that Thanos simply gets off on emotional torture, that he would go out of his way to fuck with Odin personally by turning his second son against him leads me to believe there was a special hatred there stemming from some as-yet unrevealed history between the two. I mean, when I picture the alternate universe where Thanos shows up to attack Asgard with a corrupted Loki in tow like “You screwed up so badly that he chose me as a father figure over you” …that isn’t something you say to a complete stranger.

GRRM on writing villain POVs: That’s a comic book kind of thing, where the Red Skull gets up in the morning [and asks] “What evil can I do today?” Real people don’t think that way. We all think we’re heroes, we all think we’re good guys. We have our rationalizations when we do bad things. “Well, I had no choice,” or “It’s the best of several bad alternatives,” or “No it was actually good because God told me so,” or “I had to do it for my family.” We all have rationalizations for why we do shitty things or selfish things or cruel things. So when I’m writing from the viewpoint of one of my characters who has done these things, I try to have that in my head.

[asksythe]

Original story concept: global temporal crisis

So, this story concept happened entirely by accident. A friend of mine (@erimies https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5374016/erimies , yes, for you Naruto fans out there, that Erimies of Clan of Samsara and I didn’t sign up for this) has been sharing her original story ideas with me. We do this a lot. Just bounce ideas around and do snapshot world building speed battles (it’s tote battles! You can’t tell me otherwise!!). So today we talked about an old idea she had left on the burner for awhile. Her idea involved temporal pocket shenanigans and magical world (of the fantastic science variety). I won’t go too deep into it because it’s her idea and maybe one day we will all get to read it in a book. But my ADD ass apparently forgot completely about the original fantasy setting and assumed that the temporal crisis happened in our current real world instead and … because as usual, I’m like a rabid dog being thrown a world building hook bone, I just went completely crazy and before I knew it (and before she could type ‘wait a minute. Wrong setting! Wrong genre!! Stop! Stop!), I had already written the basic premise for a completely different story also involving temporal shenanigans and global scoped world building (and yes, I flooded her tumblr message app with 99+ messages in under 15 minutes. It happens a lot, I’m proud to say!).   

And well, what do you know? After some sheepish back and forth and mutual marveling of each other’s story ideas, I (or rather we because I made sure she was ok with this) decided to type it down and post it. Why? Because… well… because I’m the kind of writers that tote subscribe to the practice of sharing ideas and premises. I like to bounce ideas and concepts around with other people. I think it makes for much richer and more varied concepts and premises. And I would like to hear other people’s takes on concepts, see how different people view it differently. I don’t get possessive over creative ideas and concepts (well… mostly I guess). My boss told me that that’s bad habit for a published author, bad for business and all that but… eh… I guess I can’t change who I am. I just like to share you know? I think the more merrier (or bigger / more mutated /more fun, as ideas go).

So, without further ado, here it is:

I. Premise: our current world, as in, today, May 18th, 2017, Gregorian Calendar, the world is suddenly hit by an unexplainable phenomenon. For a split second, time stops moving for our planet. And when the next second arrives, it splits, branches, implodes in on itself. Our time zones fracture and warp and create bubbles within bubbles. One clock becomes a hundred thousand, each moving to its own rhythm. The next thing we know, our world is fractured into countless temporal zones. Time moves wildly in each of these zones/pockets. In some, it moves far slower than it should. In others, it moves far faster. It rewinds, warps. There are nations where the flow of time goes backward, and then forward, and then backward, winding around itself. The natural world does not escape the effect of the fractured temporal zones. Forests become deserts in a matter of days (the concept of days is fast approaching either an end or transformation too). Mountains rise from the sea. The ice caps enlarge and expand into the territory of northern Europe.

In the human world, the crisis is unprecedented. In the span of a second, global communication, trade, transportation, and the world wide web all immediately cease. Pandemonium erupts as people swiftly transition from confusion to disbelief, to panic.

What is this? A natural cosmic phenomenon? Terrorist action? Alien attack? Scientific experiments gone horribly wrong? Divine reckoning?

Nobody knows. Nobody even has so much as a hint. In their panic, people look for someone to blame. But time waits for none, least of all now when all of time has gone haywire. Our current world is one that is built on the foundation of global trade and communication and now that all of those have ceased, the world is on the precipice of a global collapse. In some nations, wars skid to a stop as both sides is rendered inoperable. In others, the sparks of revolts lit the skies in fire and ashes (looking at you, Venezuela, Zimbabwe, etc...). In some nations, people dread the onset of mass starvation as their agricultural demand far exceeds their output. In others, machines start failing as the national oil reserve dips lower and lower.   

This is the story of our world in crisis and the approaching new world order as each nation on our Earth attempt to weather the fallout of the temporal crisis and muddle their way into this new world!  

II. With this setting established, now let’s go into world building from there (hah! World building on top the basis of our real world!). Based on economic and scientific principles, four factors determine whether any one nation can survive the initial fallout and thrive afterward:

1. Agricultural bases and resources.

2. Oil; the lifeblood of modern industry

3. Central government stability

4. Temporal sciences and research.

Factors 1 and 3 determine whether a nation can survive. In order to survive, you need to be able to feed the population and avoid mass starvation and the panic that ensues from such. You also need to be able to maintain law and order. In the time of crisis, opportunistic factions may seek to overthrow the current government, leading to violence, bloodshed, and possible civil wars. For countries with divisive issues or with public unrest, this will be particularly hard.

On the other hand, factors 2 and 4 will determine whether a nation will thrive in the new world. Without oil, you will be pushed back to pre-industrialization economy, which means that a massive portion of the population will fall into poverty and any developmental prospects will die stillborn. Oil is especially vital to maintaining an economy now that the global economy has collapsed and each nation must seek to remain self-sufficient. Other sources of energy may lessen the pressure of oil (e.g. wind, thermal, solar, etc…). However, since the majority of our global industrial bases have yet to transition to clean/hybrid energy and such transition is now too costly in this crisis, oil remains the main source of fuel for the economy.

The last factor, temporal science is the only way humanity can hope to make sense of the crisis and this new natural phenomenon of their world. Current researches on temporal sciences and temporal energy harvest are still nascent and a hundred percent theoretical. However, the crisis has supplied ample opportunities for testing. Countries with existing researchs on temporal sciences will have a definite edge as they quickly learn the ins and outs of the temporal zones, exploit them (e.g. navigate and energy harvest), and perhaps find out the root reason for the crisis.   

III. A brief look into several nations in crisis:

1. China:.... is in a bad place…

The current China already has issues with public unrest and maintaining stability and a united cultural identity (e.g. what with the suppression of ethnic and religious minority, the overly centralized government, the bulky bureaucratic machine, the non-existent democratic process, widespread corruption, the widening gap between the rich and the poor, the uneven development between provinces, with some provinces not that different from first world countries neighboring provinces that would not look out of place among war-torn third world nations. Their vast land puts even more pressure on efforts to maintain stability and order.) It’s quite likely that the centralized government will be swiftly beheaded once some factions start gaining a foothold and communication / security remain frozen.

Their oil reserve is not so good either. Compared to other nations, their reserve is not small. However, it is not sufficient for their massive economic machine. They are known as the factory of the world, and such title carries weight. In February 2017, China oil import already hit 37.8 million ton (aka 8.286 million barrels per day). Without this imported oil, total economic collapse is imminent.  

Agriculture-wise, their situation is… uneven. Decades of non-existent pollution-control policy have led to massive tracts of Chinese territory being ravaged beyond hope of recovery in our life time, thus rendering their potential agricultural yield to zero. However, China is vast, and with good management and labour allocation, they can hope to avoid starvation and widespread panic.

Temporal science and research: currently to my knowledge, they have none. Due to purposefully shortened development time, the state of sciences in China is fairly unevent. Chinese government deliberately encourages progress in hot scientific disciplines (e.g. weapons, energy, heavy industry, IT, medicines) while ignoring other disciplines with less immediate practical uses.

2. Russia: a mystery within a mystery.

Heh… I don’t know much about Russia. But a world game with no mention of great Russia? Impossible. Russia simply is too large and too influential to be ignored (also they have way too many nuclear warheads). That said, we do know that they are fine in the oil department. Agriculture-wise, they are likely to be ok too. Russia is fairly self-sufficient. Temporal research science… well…probably yes… because cold war and stuff and possible exotic weapon development.

On the other hand, Russia has a very centralized government and extremely low democracy index score (coming in at 3.24 out of 10 on the global democracy index compiled by the UK-based Economist Intelligence Unit and designated an authoritarian government) with ongoing issues over freedom of press and oppression of minority. With this crisis, it’s likely that this authoritarian rule will be challenged by opportunistic factions. Only time will tell if the great Russia will be able to weather the immediate fall-out of the temporal crisis.

3. The United States of America:

…. Is united no more.

Tadadaadadadadada….

No really, you guys have deep and insidious divisive issues. From half-way across the world, I see people from different parties demonizing each other and good people being separated along religious, ethnic, and political party line. With this crisis and the current White House, you can’t convince me that folks are going to keep their sane cap on. America’s vast territory and distinct cultural identities  across different states and regions will also be a minus for the united and stability factor. Besides which earlier this year your democracy index score just fell below 8, marking you as a flawed democracy. Also, way too many trigger-happy folks with guns and bullets in their hands. And that’s not mentioning racial friction. Good luck with the crisis, folks! Taleh hoo!!

That said though, US is good as far as oil and energy resources go. With their current reserves and expanding shale oil industry as well as a thriving alternative energy source industry, the US won’t see a collapse based on lack of fuel and energy anytime soon.

Agriculture-wise, they are good too as not only do they have a large agriculture industry, their land is still comparatively virgin next to the soils that have been cultivated and farmed for millennia in Europe and Asia.

Temporal sciences and researches: yes… very… but again, uneven due to vast territory. American territory itself is divided into countless temporal zones so likely we will see the start of many small nations and likely collapse of a great one. Having large tracts of land is a minus on control and unity issues, who knew eh?

4. Europe (sing me a song, beautiful Europa!!!)

Has much the same issue with America in terms of centralized government (Brussel this time) and different cultural / ethnic identities that stand in the way of unison. Racial tension is also on the rise due to Islamophobia and fear of terrorist attacks. In the initial fallout, confusion will reign as Brussel is separated from the rest of Europe. Without swift actions from the authority, the European Union faces the risk of implosion. But then again, Europe has pretty good democracy index score so maybe it won’t be so bad?

In terms of oil reserves, hmm, not bad. However, the issue lies with the uneven allocation of oil. Norway holds the largest oil reserves and in this new world setting that is rapidly heading towards a ‘every nation for itself’ scenario, will be loathed to let go of an edge. Without good diplomacy and concession, tension and conflict may arise. That’s not to mention the cut-off of communication and transportation as Europe is trapped in its own myriad pockets of temporal zones. However, many European countries are fairly far along in terms of conversion from oil-based industry to clean energy-based industry so really this factor should have less weight for Europe.

Temporal science: yes. Europe as a whole has larger grants and investment into scientific researches than America. Now is the time to reap that reward! Could this be the second coming of the European Golden Age? Only time will tell!!!

5. North Korea (because why not? Everybody likes to talk about that one poor country with the big gun and trigger happy fingers right?)

Good bye, NK, it’s been nice knowing you.

Total collapse, likely in a matter of months if not weeks. Despite its healthy stock of warheads and other tools of war, North Korea survives by foreign aids. Infamously known by economist as the world’s worst economy, North Korea receives millions of dollars of foreign aids every year. Despite its hefty investment into weapons, it does not actually produce enough food for its own population and has had several famines and mass starvations within the last 5 years.

Without foreign aid (due to cut communication and transportation), the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) will swiftly collapse when massive portions of its own population starve to death. There will be widespread panic and violence as a dieing government struggles to maintain control over a panicking/berserking civilian population. Unlike previously, this time, the elite ruling group likely will not be able to escape out of the nation due to cut-off global transportation. If desperation seizes the day and the warhead codes fall into unwise hand, we may see the start of the collapse of the Korean peninsula as weapons stockpiled for some hypothetical war against the West go up in their own backyard.

…Really, I feel sorry for the Korean people (both North and South). Once, Vietnam was known as North and South Vietnam too and 40 years ago we weren’t that much different.  

IV. A new world order!

The goal: to survive.

The goal: to thrive.

To live is to struggle. As the world rocks and fractures under the weight of the global temporal crisis, each and every nation must keep in mind the goals. To survive the initial fall-out of the crisis and perchance to thrive in this new world order. To do that, they must feed their own population, maintain law and order, resuscitate their economy, re-establish international contact and cooperation, and relentlessly push for scientific progress into temporal sciences. Only then will they find out the secret behind the global temporal crisis that rocks their world!

So... that is my story concept. As said, I thought it up (well, from the basis of Erimies’s fantasy concept) in about 20 minutes. It’s just... you know... the start. Because of the massive scope of this story / setting, it’s impossible for me to accurately cover every country. With that said, which country/region do you come from? and how do you think your country/region will fare in this scenario? 

Hmmm.. I also want to take into consideration the natural aspects of this setting. For example, natural changes caused by the temporal zones. Our seas are trapped into countless pockets. As a result, ocean currents are in disarray which will eventually lead to changes in global ecology (impacting the migrating patterns of fishes for example) and weather patterns (impacting global temperature and wind current). So on, so forth. But I will need significant research in order to venture into this part. But... just imagine, you know... our world.. transformed in a second because time has fractured. What a world it will be!!! 

So, what do you think? Do you have ideas? Questions? Criticism? Come! I want to hear your thoughts and bounce ideas around!  

[tori10rambles]

Jumin’s route is done! That was a freaking roller coaster. aka the route in which i probably broke my own heart a little before I even finished Day 4, and it only got worse from there. And DAY 10 DESTROYED ME.

Being the rabid Seven fangirl I am, getting this route was hard. The only thing that kind of soothes my heart is that I didn't get any heart breaks from Seven. (You know, besides his actual heart by Day 10. That kind of negated... almost all my good feelings).

i just want to help like, every single one of these losers with their problems jfc.

Also, per usual, these comments were written as the game was being played, and so are probably kind of incoherent, and switch from first and 3rd person POV sometimes in the middle of the same point. All of that is under the cut.

Also, for some reason, the After end CG didn’t save to my album. Hm....

  Jumin

So much of his personality is explained by his dad honestly. Also, I have a very bad feeling about his dad and the Choi lady.

When you grow up in the public eye, it seems like the choices are to either try to become as bland/invisble as possible to avoid having the paparazzi on your ass (as seen with Jumin), or you do a Tony Stark and make a party/attention whore mask and basically try to own it.

Considering how Jumin describes his dad (skirt chaser? easily seduced by a pretty face?), I'm not completely surprised that he doesn't like women.

Also, should I be concerned that I find his utter failure at photography kind of adorable and odd, considering his best friend is a professional photographer?

...What the fuck did your dad do? A fiancee, seriously? The creepiest part is that apparently she's related/connected to his new skirt?

"I won't sell out my father over my cat." Does that mean your dad's actually tried that/is trying that? jfc

it's kind of cute watching him be concerned over MC, because you can kind of tell that he's warming up to her/starting to like her, but doesn't really get (want to acknowledge?) why.

Your dad is an asshole for using you as a bargaining chip. Also, please note that Jumin apparently cares about the company and how his father's personal life affects it more than his father does. And that Jumin is still more considerate of people's feelings, despite being a "robot."

...Considering the women from your dream sound like gold diggers and possibly at least one cougar/pedophile, I cannot blame you for disliking women.

Also, his dad is really bad at getting him. I feel bad because this seems like the first time this happened? Someone save Jumin from his well meaning, but obviously ignorant-about-his-son's-personality father.

Putting your cat in a cage because you think it’s the safest option does not include the emotional problems of being stuck in a cage

You’re projecting, Jumin... Rika onto Elizabeth? Wtf? I gotta say you apparently dodged a bullet considering what she did to V’s eyes

Jumin talking about controlling his cat is .... really creepy. because he talks about Elizabeth 3rd like she's a person/personified to him, so what would he do with an actual person he cares for?

he thinks intimacy is a luxury. jfc

So I'm at your place, but I'd really like an explanation for the cage.

y'all know things are bad when Jaehee knows he's unstable. ...why am i at his place at night again?

So while I'm enjoying you riling up Zen, some of your comments creep me out ("I don't want anyone else to look at her"). That's creepy (and also not a response I would choose), even if it is kind of cute.

are you offering to cook, or are you offering your chefs? Because strawberry pancakes sound delicious.

...wtf, put me to bed? I am not a child or a pet. 

Yoyoyo, does this imply you had feelings for Rika? omf not another person who wants me to be her replacement jfc yoosung was bad enough

Who is surprised that Elizabeth 3rd ran away? Not me.

i cannot believe you went and used lines from a soap opera to play Sarah. ...And that it worked

...Is this REALLY the time to be kissing me!? And what is it with these men and kissing me when I'm not ready for it!? Seriously, these guys have some awful timing.

Um... no. You are not giving Elizabeth 3rd back to V. You obivously love her, and you need more than just MC to care about, Jumin.

...I cannot believe you just said "the use is fairly similar" when I asked if I was a replacement for your pet. If I could, I'd run. I'd run SO FAR.

I'm pretty sure Elizabeth ran away because you legit went and caged her for hours when she's used to roaming around your penthouse freely.

...forever? HELL NO. I am my own person and deserve to be treated as such.

this complete 180 in personality is disturbing as hell.

Possessive Jumin scares me. A lot. At least he knows a relationship needs time.

...Half the shit coming out of your mouth sounds so creepy.

Trapping me somewhere and telling me it's for my own good is not protecting me... it's making me desperate to leave.

omfg, the Jumin phone call with the hilarious response!

Jumin's building is like a gilded cage. it terrifies me on a level i can't comprehend. like, I may be a bit of a shut in, but even I leave the goddamn building when I feel like it. It's the fact that I have the choice to leave, i think.

He feels... surprisingly less menacing/creepy on Day 9. Thank god.

Oh thank god they found Elly. hopefully this means Jumin will CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

I'm with Jumin on this one, his dad is really blinded if he thinks hiding your credit report from a businessman you're trying to marry is a good idea. That just screams goldigger

The fact that Jumin actually expressed his emotions and concerns to his dad, jfc that's progress. Also, he's managed to find a middle ground, SCORE!

...dude, how often do you say thank you and that you appreciate Jaehee;s work if she's that shocked?

that phone call immediately after the meeting with father is actually pretty sweet? omg. but the one where I call him after that VN was kind of... eh. not as nice

...When was the last time jaehee got a holiday? When was th elast time you LET her!?

...Okay, the VN after the 21:46 chat on Day 10 wasn't bad until the very end. Then it got weird. I am NOT a thing to be devoured jfc.

THANK YOU for seeing what's wrong with Rika's vision of a perfect world.

"We like each other. How can we be dangerous to each other." - THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO RESPOND TO THIS I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO START.

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME IN A GODDAMNED CAGE. I AM NOT A PET OR AN ANIMAL JFC THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT.

I feel like you're planning some sick burns, and it involves public humiliation. I'm so down for this.

At least you're letting me out of the penthouse?

Your idea of marriage is weird, but understandable. Also, I hope to HELL that wasn't a proposal after you only met me 10 Days ago, and LOCKED ME IN YOUR APARTMENT FOR MOST OF THOSE DAYS.

...what's with the rings on you status icon?

YES YOU'RE BEING TOO POSSESSIVE.

You sound kind of adorable as a kid.

Now that he's let me go home, he's actually kind of cute? I liked his Christmas DLC ending better tho.

Oh my god, that's savage.Public humiliation ftw.

YOU ACTUALLY PROPOSED. WTF. the dress is awesome though. i'd wear that but with less boob window

Seven

I'm so sorry. T_T I'm leaving your route for last, which means I need to be mean/indifferent to you and this sucks like hell. Especially since I get to talk to you more than once in a while. Almost none of the responses I want to make in Days 1-4 are the ones I chose to get this route. this is pain. none of this is okay. i am not okay. i will probably not be okay whenever i think about seven during Jumin's route.

The space station phone call makes me want to cry, because shit, he obviously is crushing at this point? And I'm going to end up crushing his heart into itty bitty pieces and I can't stand it. It's like... like waiting for the inevitable, and the suspense only builds because you know it's gonna happen, but you don't know how bad the resulting reaction will be.

The cat dream phone call makes me really fucking sad. because taken into consideration with the conversation Unknown and Seven had in Yoosung's route, and Unknown's rant in Yoosung's Bad End 3, I'm getting very concerned about Seven's childhood.

Everytime you break the fourth wall, I squee. And goddamn, you're right about games and Yoosung.

Zen and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf. but seriously this is the kind of drag I'd do to my friends, so long as they knew I was open for retaliation and didn't mean half of it

Your love for your cars is kind of adorable.

Seven’s friendships w yoosung and zen are hilarious and adorable. Like, give me more of it.

Why do i think that half the things you claim come from a book you read are actually things you think up yourself?

Every time you meet Unknown, my feels hurt. And I really, really want that explanation for who he is.  I mean, I read spoilers obviously, if you've seen my tags, but I wanna see how the game reveals it.

This man, seeing him sound so broken after his encounter with Unknown continues to upset me. That phone call about relationships hurts to, because there is CLEARLY some projecting going on there.

THIS FUCKING PHONE CALL.

Jfc, Seven is not okay. I'm so glad i can ask if he is or not and not end up on a bad end. But damn is it not fun to see him break. And the aftermath.

You're not okay (the 15:29 chatroom sounds like you're talking about Unknown btw, which I mean, MC doesn't know, but is obvious to anyone who is watching you), but I hope you can be okay soon.

Also, this just makes things even worse to me? Because not only has the person he cared about NOT chosen him, but the person from his past who was supposed to be safe and happy apparently hates him. And he's not getting any answers. Like, this just might the worst route for Seven?

Wait, what did V promise you? What does it have to do with unknown? Good lord, I want answers. Mostly so you finally have them.

Zen

Stop flirting with everything in a skirt that breathes. Especially me. That can only end badly.

Also, please know I agree with you SO HARD about Jumin's treatment of his workers, but again, I'm going for Jumin's route this time, which means agreeing with him.

But please, quit picking on jumin about being an "ice king" or "robot," because he literally does not know how to express emotions.

You and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf.

Zen’s dream is creepy. Adding meowing to the creepy music box music is not cool

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning

lololol Big Brother Zen does not like MC being alone with Jumin.

Thank you Zen, for saying everything I've been saying about this situation.

religious nuts? Zen!? What if that's Mint Eye

Zen continues to be the best dude for coming to MC's defense.

Yoosung

I'm so afraid for this boy because he's so gullible. You'd think he'd know by now that Seven likes to troll people. No, I'm not counting the resets in that statement. Seven made it clear basically in the first couple of chats/calls/texts he participated in that he's a humongous troll when it suits him.

OMFG the infamous M call. I was not prepared for that holy shit.

omf Yoosung. STUDY. PLEASE. ...And now you have summer classes.

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning (the bodyguard thing at least)

your insight into Jumin and his view of relationships is... really close to what i thought. good job yoosung!

I pity Yoosung for taking care of Elizabeth.

Jaehee

I'm so sorry I have to condone Jumin's work practices for a good end. And that I just gave Jumin a new cat project. You don't deserve this bullshit. No one deserves this bullshit.

Are you playing wingwoman? because it might actually be working.

I don't blame you for this really creepy situation.

you're so kind of try and assuage Zen's worries.

I understand your frustration with Jumin and wholeheartedly support it

I'm so glad you get a holiday omfg. Also, it’s hella cute and kinda depressing that you’re so happy about getting the vacation.

V

Your friendship with Jumin is so cute wtf.

is it your guilt complex and your need to keep the memebrs "safe" that would make you upset that Yoosung is going along with Seven? Because if so, that's kind of hypocritical considering Seven's a member, and you wanted him to go alone.

Goddamn it V. Thanks to your secrecy, I can't go back to the apartment.

ANSWER SEVEN. PLEASE. SEEING HIM SO DOWN IS NOT FUN.

Oh my god you're sassy. I wasn't expecting that. It's awesome though. Legit, half the fandom seems to forget that V is a sassy mofo. We need more of it.

Rika

...Wow, you are crazy. "A device that can take everything, that can delete everything"... What the hell kind of shit is in that apartment, Rika? Because there is no way there's only information about your party guests... Or is that the entire point? Is there blackmail there?

...You just sounded so nice there, talking to Jumin. Wtf happened to you?

A world without pain or mistakes... that's so idealistic... and impossible. Progress is important! We'll stagnate otherwise, and while being comfortable is important, so is making progress so that EVRYONE is happy. You can't tell me that those who are poor and starving and sick are happy where they are. Feeling sad is HEALTHY, especially after making a mistake or being affected by one. It's what keeps us empathetic and compassionate towards others!

...Are you REALLY asking your BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND if he'd date you? REALLY!? I CANNOT BELIEVE... That's so cruel to V! Even if it WAS a joke!

And honestly, that last statement sounds like you want everyone to like... commit assisted group suicide or something.

Unknown & Mint Eye

Why does it seems like Unknown is talking to you in the VN from Day 2? It's so creepy, especially when you're reading that chat in the dark, after having woken up in the middle of the night for the game.

Goddamn it you gave me a heart attack. I can't tell if it's the music that scared me more or the messages.

...How have I gone three routes and not realized your HQ is a fucking castle?

Sarah & Glam Choi

Fucking gold diggers and attention whores, man. I cannot believe y'all are trying to use Jumin and his dad for money. Like, wtf?

Also, what the hell gave you the idea that Jumin is the type to mix work and pleasure? Also, Jaehee could totally do better than Jumin.

You are never getting rid of Elizabeth 3rd. It's stupid to think you can try, let alone succeed.

Goddamn it, using the paparazzi to your advantage is a dick move.

Knew you were after their money. You company is weak af Sarah, and apparently you have no idea how to make money.

...how stupid are you to think that Jumin couldn't recognize his own goddamn cat.

...Y'all just got PLAYED by the Ice King.

Public humiliation ftw! now leave and don't come back.

Uh... I couldn’t really enjoy this route very much because of the very possessive and creepy undertones halfway through the 11 days. I mean, I know he gets better, but honestly, that shouldn’t be behavior an s/o should have to stick around and try to “fix.” It also sounds a lot like coercive behavior abusers would use? Basically, I think Jumin needs a therapist who will probably need their own therapist instead of a girlfriend, because that kind of emotional burden is heavy and not something I think I personally could handle.

I was talking to someone else about this route, and we agreed that his route really isn’t good for anyone who isn’t personally emotionally or mentally healthy/alright.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1201

Monday, February 19, 2018

 Happy Family Day Folks and Gung Hay Fat Choy too. Looks like the Jee Gang will not be gathering for the traditional Chinese New Year family dinner for the Year of the Dog. That's fine with me since a lot of the kids are now living away from home and won't be there anyways. There are two new dogs in the family now. Niece Sam just returned from 4 years in Japan with her dog and niece Tara just got a puppy up in Thunder Bay. Both Cas and Jane are very chill it seems.

 I'm even more semi-retired now as I am only working half days on Tuesday and Wednesday. It still means I get to see some of my favourite people when they come in to pick up their books on Wednesday. I will miss the Saturday folks and hope that I can get back to working that day again.

 Avengers #679 - Al Ewing, Jim Zub & Mark Waid (writers) Kim Jacinto (art) David Curiel (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). No Surrender part 6. They should have featured Rogue on the cover since she narrates most of this issue. Ah wish they wouldn't use her southern accent for Rogue's inner monologues. It makes mah face cringe. Meanwhile, Logan shows up in Peru.

 Sideways #1 - Dan Didio & Justin Jordan (writers) Kenneth Rocafort (art) Dan Brown (colours) Carlos M. Mangual (letters). Another New Age of Heroes hits the racks for DC with teenager Derek who can somehow manipulate rifts in space to instantly travel anywhere. He kind of looks like a young Peter Parker and his costume looks like a Captain Boomerang hand-me-down with a full face mask. There's not much of an origin story since we're supposed to know what happened by reading the Dark Nights Metal comic books. I stopped reading those but I was still okay understanding stuff since this is just Derek getting the hang of his super powers. I like his cosplaying friend Ernie and the big bad creature that shows up on the last page so I'll give the next issue a look-see.

 Kick-Ass #1 - Mark Millar (writer) John Romita Jr. (pencils) Peter Steigerwald (digital inks & colours) John Workman (letters). A little change in publisher and a major change in lead character. Nerdy Dave Lizewski is replaced by someone who already knows how to kick ass and I like them already. This is one of those lemons and lemonade life lessons. I like the softer look to the art too and I credit the guy finishing John Romita Jr. pencils for that.

 Action Comics #997 - Dan Jurgens (writer) Brett Booth (pencils) Norm Rapmund (inks) Andrew Dalhouse (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Booster Shot part 5. If you take the time travel element out of the Superman versus General Zod and his family fight it's pretty good all out action. Meanwhile back on Earth, Lois is still trying to rescue her dad. This is the issue where the bad guys get the upper hand leading to the possibility that the good guy are going to lose. Let's see how Dan Jurgens figures out a way for the bad guys to lose instead.

 Weapon X #14 - Greg Pak (writer) Yildiray Cinar (art) Frank D'Armata (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Nuke-Clear War part 3. I like how this team will do anything to win. Domino and Warparth need to get a room. What Lady Deathstrike and Sabretooth have cooking keeps the intrigue going. Wonder what the next mission will be?

 Detective Comics #974 - James Tynion IV (writer) Philippe Briones (art) Allen Passalaqua (colours) Sal Cipriano (letters). It's so long Clayface, for now at least. A major villain from Batman's Rogues Gallery won't stay gone for long. The aftermath of Fall of the Batmen leads into a story featuring Batwoman. I'm a fan of Kate so I am very interested in what happens next.

 Skybourne #5 - Frank Cho (writer & artist) Marcio Menyz (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). We had to wait 18 months for this 5-issue mini to  tell its story but I am a sucker for anything that Frank Cho draws. I had a flashback to reading his Liberty Meadows strips because one of the characters looked exactly like Brandy. This is one collection that I will recommend the heck out of when it hits the racks.

 Amazing Spider-Man Annual #42 - Dan Slott (writer) Cory Smith (pencils) Terry Pallot (inks) Brian Reber (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This story is pure nostalgic Spider-Man. We've got Betty Brant snooping around an old news story that her ex-husband Ned Leeds was looking into. This puts her in danger because certain underworld members don't want the secret to be revealed. Cue the appearance of old Spidey villains the Enforcers. Add in a cameo appearance by the current New York City mayor Wilson Fisk, so you don't think this is a reprint from the 1960s, and the classic Spider-Man saves the day ending and you can give this book to any kid who isn't glued to their mobile devices to read. I learned something new from the title of this story too. "Bury the Ledes" might look like a typo but it's a newspaper term they used to mean "a lead in a story" instead of the heavy element lead. I think that's just dumb. They should have called this story "Bury the Leeds" since Ned is dead, but is he really? Read this annual to find out. The backup story by Broadway playwright David Hine (Marcus To (art) Ian Herring (colours)) is a silly surprise all about Peter Parker's Spidey sense. This could explain the old Parker Luck.

 Batman #40 - Tom King (writer) Joelle Jones (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). Super Friends part 4. What a great end to Batman and Wonder Woman's epic odyssey in another dimension. It's a powerful story of love. Back when I was a rabid X-Men fan I thought that Chris Claremont (writer) John Byrne (pencils) and Terry Austin (inks) was the best creative team for that book and I didn't want that to change ever. I wish the same thing for this current Batman creative team but I know it will change eventually. I will love it while it lasts though.

 Captain America #698 - Mark Waid (writer) Chris Samnee (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Out of Time part 1. The last we saw, Cap was flash frozen again. This is where he gets thawed out. When this happens is another story. This is tantamount to Cap dying again. It's a convenient way to have Cap fighting a new tyrant but how the heck is he going to get back to the present? Ugh, I hate time travel.

 Star Wars: Darth Vader #11 - Charles Soule (writer) Giuseppe Camuncoli (pencils) Daniele Orlandini (inks) David Curiel (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). While on a mission to find Force sensitives, Vader is attacked by bounty hunters. Lots of action this issue. I am really impressed with the art. Giuseppe Camuncoli has come a long way since he was drawing Spider-Man. What Vader will do when he finds out who hired the bounty hunters makes me want to read the next issue.

 Old Man Hawkeye #2 - Ethan Sacks (writer) Marco Checchetto (art) Andres Mossa (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I'm having a lot of fun seeing these future versions of Marvel heroes and villains. The writing is very clever. I love the club run by the Orb called Eye Candy. A fine establishment indeed.

 Marvel 2 In One #3 - Chip Zdarsky (writer) Valerio Schiti (art) Frank Martin (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This issue's guest star is the Prince of Power. If Herc should ever get his own book again Chip should write it. Plenty of dramedy here. We've got Doctor Doom and the Mad Thinker for drama and Herc for comedy. I like how there's a good reason why Ben and Johnny have to find Reed and Sue and the new recruit they get to help. This book is a sleeper hit in my opinion.

C����~i�

[pyroweasel]

Trigger Warnings: Rape, Death, Loss, narcissist/narcissism. My NGrandma is going to die, and I can't feel anything about it. And I'm not sure why? I can sit here and think about so much good we had together. When I was younger, she had a huge part in raising me, because my parents would be working and she was free, safe babysitting. She has been a narcissist all my life. Her way was the way. She had selective memory... Something she didn't like only happened if she agreed it did and, if not, she would say you were wrong, that it definitely didn't happen. I am shy and non-confrontational to other people but with people I'm comfortable with, I can be a stubborn ass. And I was with my grandma. We butted heads a lot. We'd get in screaming matches. One of the last times I saw her, even, we ended up in a screaming match which I almost walked away from. But in the end it ended up okay. She over shared, and honestly I believe that has somehow led to my own paranoia and anxiety. She would tell me about how she was abused as a child. How she was sexually harassed/raped by family. And I was young when she told me this stuff... It didn't bother me then, but I can see as an adult how kind of messed up sharing that with a child is. But still, I loved (love?) her dearly. Because despite that all, there was so much good. She was also the typical "I'll spoil my grandkids if I want to" grandparent. Which now, as an adult, I can see why that would be problematic and a huge thorn in my mom and dad's sides. But as a kid it was great. I'd stay overnight at her house all the time, because I knew the rules were lax. I could stay up all night on the computer if I wanted! I could watch just about whatever I want. I could eat whatever I want. And even if that last point especially has led to some troubles for me as an adult, I still see it all so fondly. When I was little and upset, she would sing songs like Last Kiss and Puff the Magic Dragon to me, and those remain two of my favorite and nostalgic songs. We watched Ol' Yeller and Prince of Egypt together more time than I can count, and they remain two of my favorite movies. She calls me weasel, in a loving way, because of a book I loved as a kid and told her all about. When I tell her I'm not religious she laughs and says God loves me anyway. But if I get her in a serious enough mood, she would always tell me that she got it, because she was, but she didn't hold her beliefs in the same way most Christians do. She asked me once if I was a lesbian and I told her no, in embarrassment. (forgive me, I was quite a bit younger). But she was all set to support me, if I had said yes. If I were home more recently, I might have told her that maybe I was a little wrong, that maybe I'm bi, but I'm not sure. And I think she would have supported me. She is a narcissist. Over a year ago she had a massive heart attack that nearly killed her. They told us it would, probably sooner rather than later. She had congestive heart failure. She had been a very heavy smoker, a terrible eater, and obese for a long, long time. And somehow she fought like a rabid dog. She has been in and out of the hospital, unable to breathe, heart stopped, bad after bad for this whole year+. But she always bounced back. Except this time. By the sounds of it, there isn't much of her mind left to come back. She's not completely brain dead, but she doesn't sound like she's there, either. I hope not. Because if she is, it must be like torture in there. I live 14 hours away, so I haven't seen her much since Christmas. And if I'm honest with myself, I have pulled away bit by bit since the first time she was in the hospital. I haven't been home to see her, but I also haven't talked to her much otherwise. It's what I do. I'm not proud of it. Blessedly, this is the first time I've lost someone so close to me since my great aunt back in '05. But I remember doing the same, then. My great aunt had cancer and slowly whittled down to nothing, and I tried to pull away because I didn't want to deal with the hurt. It didn't help, though. But this time I guess it has. My grandma was a pretty bad mother to my mom and aunt, and as an adult I resent her for that. The things her body has been through this last year or so have only made those tendencies worse, probably due to death of brain tissue. But she has been a nightmare, running my poor grandfather and great aunt ragged. Running my poor mother ragged. In her absolute worst moments being not only unreasonable but absolutely cruel and demanding. There were times while she was in the hospital that my mom wouldn't let me or my brother go, because she didn't want us on the end of her vile vitriol. These are the reasons I use to excuse my apathy. Grief is exhausting to keep up, and I did grieve a lot a year ago, when I thought we would lose her. And honestly? There's relief, too. Because now maybe I won't lose two grandparents, my grandma driving my grandpa down into the grave with her. And I can stop worrying about my mom, who was putting too much work into helping them both, for no thanks from my grandmother. There are probably messages on Skype from her. I should look at them before she actually passes, because I think eventually the grief will actually hit me, and I'll feel guilty for not checking them sooner. Although I told her many times that I so rarely, rarely look at my Skype. My first thought when my mom called me last night, to say that grandma just isn't improving, she isn't coming back, that they're going to ask that they take her off the vent pretty much keeping her alive, was of the inconvenience of timing. I don't know. I know all the grief articles and books would say it takes a different form and not feeling it at first, or having spent it already, is probably normal. And those who have been raised by, or in close contact with, narcissists would say that not grieving one after separating from them is natural too. But I still can't help but feel guilty. Guilty that I can think of all the good she did for me and still not feel like I have to cry. Although after typing it out, I do have a sort of pit in my stomach, so maybe the grief is just delayed. After all, she is still alive, for the moment, even if death is a certainty now. I cry easily during movies and shows, even if the moment isn't particularly sad. I cry if I imagine losing a parent, or my brother, or a close friend. I'm PMSing, I think, which is usually when I cry at the drop of a hat. I had to send my dog to live with my parents for a couple of months and bawled, feeling like someone had taken out my heart. And he's alive, well, and spoiled! And yet for this... Nothing. Fuck man. I don't know. Apologies for the personal rant. I just needed to get this out somewhere. It probably won't be under a cut unless it does that automatically.. I've no idea how to do that on mobile. So apologies also if it takes up a chunk of your dashboard.

[bandofholyjoy-blog]

IT GETS LOCKED UP IN YOUR CHEST: MICHAEL BRANDON IN HAITI... Things get locked in your chest. Your chest-corporeal, I mean. You can be as stalwart as you wish, but things……get locked…. in your chest. Part One:   “What The Hell - Where Am I?” Forget that there was no ceiling over the majority of the house, yes, that is correct, no roofing. The impact was particularly “lofty," in that huge, arena-esque space ; a baby bird’s mouth at spit-feed time, indeed, the "living room.” We had mango trees where most homes had bookcases. They rose up and up, practically touching the stars, in my ripe, 11-year old imagination. Forget the (massive) mosquito nets , compulsory to sleep under (you best believe: Malaria and "This-or That”, killer fever). Forget the adult-male-hand-sized tarantulas, and how they’d drop on my fucking head, in that "Uniball Signo-207-level,” inky-blackness... of the country’s foul, microwave nights. Forget the omnipresent, after-dark-bats, or the violent chickens (yes) that would “entertain”, on random, possessed evenings. All of the unwanted guests, they had an oceanic entrance, and then some, through aforementioned, ‘negative-roofing.” I recall my mother, with broom-as-rapier, beating back those truculent, pecking , rabid-assed chickens. They behaved like They were, but I’ve never heard of rabies-infected fowl. WTF =  indeed. WTF was in the feed? Forget it all. Forget that I’m in Port-au-Prince, and it is 1977. From Park Avenue to Haiti ; I can envision the Off-Broadway, musical tragicomedy. “Why Mommy, Whhhhhy?” would  be the opening number. The Backdrop of glimmering, rubbish-free Park Avenue  sidewalks would be crumpled by a drop sheet festooning over the previous one ; the new background, blaring sunshine, highlighting makeshift huts, skeletal dogs and cats, and a woman encumbered or emboldened…via eight, weaved baskets (of varying size and weight) atop the crown of her head. “Ha," indeed. All traces of levity now-removed, as I type the name:  “Baby" Doc Duvalier. Forget the sight of him. The sight of a pinguid, nasty, ever-smirking menace, as he pierced the open sunroof of a too-long limousine ; all that was missing was a hood decal of the reaper. Forget that feculent beast, hurling coins to armless / legless children. I’m talking about kids that were my age and (much) younger. The sight of the children, literally tearing each other apart for a meagre allotment of coins... Let’s forget it. These were the same children, I’d consistently gift my sneakers, shirts, pants( everything) to. I’d walk home through those  seemingly endless, sugar cane fields, “home”….back to the haunted house, only to be greeted by mother-irate. To be fair, my mom was "half-irate.” It only pissed her off that she’d have to order me more clothes from the U.S.A . An overtly-charitable nature , innate. I’m serious. Was this a somatic mutation, only, in behavioral format? I was this way from birth. It can be grotesque, the kill-with-kindness shtick. I assure you, I have no freaking idea - why. WhyI’ve been this way. I do not choose this bizarre, saintly shit , do I? You will pay the price for kindness. Oh man, will you pay ; you'll even be despised for it. “You’d feed a starving dog and let yourself die.” My mother used to say that to me, and often. Would I? Hell if I know the answer to that question. I hope the answer is: “no way." I’d defend my recurring actions. "They were missing limbs!” t’was my clarion wail. My plea for the: "amputated-for-god-knows-why…” kids. I still do not know why so many were limbless. I’m assuming, petty transgressions (food theft?) ; these beautiful, still-smiling children, ever-clamouring for my clothing and shoes. Damn. Now I’m reminded to forget my truancy. The headmistress of the (country’s best) “Creole / American” school, admonishing my mother: “your child is  too intelligent to attend. Our school is shit. I advise you to stay away." OH! Let us also forget the omnipresent heat,it’s own universe of hatred and scorn…. a heat so pernicious, it incinerated my (American) comic books, literally, to ash. Forget that we’re in Haiti before the term ‘“Sweatshop” was fashionable. In all fairness….My mother has always, always treated anyone, anyone who has worked for her, like bordeline-royalty. She took care of every last person, and still does today. There is no one quite like her…for all the …Wait. Let me not lose focus (snicker!) Mike Brandon, lose focus? Remember. I am trying to forget. Forget my cat showing up at the doorstep with half his brains removed. What ungodly beast did that? I’ve forgotten it. Forget the rank, gamey pigeons we ate. I might not be able to forget... affable Destan. Destan. The ever-smiling, perpetually, (infectiously!) happy houseboy. My mother offered Destan a proper room, but he opted out. Destan preferred the dank, dark, "bird- basement", covered in turkey, dove, pigeon…. you-name-it / “ it’s what’s for dinner!” bird shit. I’m talking about spackle. I”m attempting to verbalize... shit-as-caulk. I’m talking about tenfold layers and layers  of bird crap. I’ll never be able to find the words for the density of that avian, "shit-splosion." The stench alone? OH, dear g….. Forget it. Forget “Hank" - was it? The turkey I loved.You are actually reading this. It’s not a dream. I loved a damn turkey. Wow. What else ya gonna DO in Haiti, ah? Forget that he was served for dinner one night, as Bruno, my mom’s drunkard boyfriend (who I adored, BTW) darted a nefarious grin my way, indeed he did. I called “exemption" on Hank, but, my plea, clearly it meant jack-all. The turkey I claimed as a pet, yep, he was now on my dinner plate. Ahhhh forget the minuscule shit. It only “mattered” to a wussy child, anyway. Let’s get to one “experience,” shall we? One Haiti experience that is probably worth remembering, just for the sheer culture shock and spectacle. A "Cirque Du Wha-HEY!”   that I doubt… any other spoiled, Park Avenue bitch boys got to see. I was a lucky bitch boy, it could be said. Let’s not forget that tidbit. I’d like to forget that Serge, one of the gents who brought me to the “experience,” was (quite a few years later) found tied to a tree, throat slit, ear-to-ear. OK. The experience. Yes. "The Experience." Part Two: “The first time I fainted." Voodoo rituals, to say the least? they are myriad.   I believe the one I endured ; I believe it was a: “Repel Demonic Spirits Ritual." Memories are brutal things, eh? Who  knows what the template for a memory... truly is. Fiction pales. This is, in my opinion? a “level two" (out of ten) true-life shocker. My age played the largest role, as did the country, itself. What a wake-up call. It is unique, and for this reason, and this reason alone, it is possibly worth revisiting. My mother was in her early 30’s. She always worked her ass off, and she partied just as hard. Prime period, Bardot-level beauty (beyond) who took advantage of "nature’s temporary gift.” Fuck you, nature…BTW. My mom was a hardcore player. Some nights I was passed around like an American football. This was one of those nights. “Want to see something endemic to Port-au-Prince?” - something to this effect, but in "layman-ese” ; obviously, he did not use the 50 cent word I supplied. I was with Serge (I forget…I really do forget! )and two others. I was taken to the ceremony by three men who worked for my mother’s sportswear company. Factory employees, oh yes, turned makeshift babysitters. Hoo-rah! My mom was (likely) at the Royal Haitian Casino and Hotel. High-end for Port-au-Prince, this joint was, indeed. Stepping into the Air Conditioned “Royal Haitian,” was akin to attending Epcot Center’s best attraction…if it had one, I mean. My mother was doing  “her thing…” (* never “caved" to self-deprivation, is all I will say) Me, I was in a filthy van. I recall being in that van, for what seemed like ages ; myself and three cackling adults, clearly amped that I was about to be “de-flowered"….erm...in some fashion. “Tonight, we are going to show you the real Haiti!”   Indeed, they were about to show me something, and boy, had I been giddily rapacious. “Authentic  Voodoo Show? Hell yes!” was at the forefront of my already-twisted, little skull. Let’s be honest. This was well before I went crazy. That happened at age 12 and beyond. This was unique, especially for a Park Avenue-born kid. Forget the amorphous mind of the over-zealous, ignorant child ;  good decisions , like batteries….never included. When I wrote: " these rituals were myriad,”or something to this effect, I was imagining a color spectrum. I was told (in 1977) Voodoo Ceremonials took place, for just about any occasion. I cannot verify this, nor have I ever cared to research it, via the web. This was a:  “you’re in over your head”  occasion, because it was: "pre-everything.” I retained innocence, I did,  in 1977. I know that I still had innocence, even when Haiti tried to rend it from me. “Pre-Hell-Dipped-Mikey, and His First Voodoo Ceremony.”   Honestly, this was akin to watching a Shirley Temple film ; I  simply had no comparisons - not yet. I  have to assume, however,   that this was one of the more “epic"(?)  voodoo ceremonies. I mean, if not, then what am I missing? Let us also forge...t that it took place in the middle of freaking nowhere, and in a perfectly grim setting. Central casting and location scout teams? Hell, they’d piss over this package, in it’s entirety. It’s 1977, babe! Woooooooo! I know nothing! Mikey knows nada! I have not even met my dick, yet! Shit, where was I….. The van pulled up where roads terminated, and tangled, foreboding woods claimed dominion, 360 degrees, everywhere you canted your head. So dark, those nights, all of them, in Port-au-Prince. Crickets, oddball,insect noises ;  not much else. We had to foot it to the makeshift “arena”. I recall those bleak woods… The flashlight… “Hold onto my arm” etc. Eventually, I could see the gleam ; the flicker of flames. As we drew near, upright pole-torches guided us past the narrow, dirt pathway, widening until we hit it. I remember thinking: "earth-arena.” I knew it was man-made, but it appeared jungle-birthed,  this stage…OH yeah. A stage forged in dark, dark soil. Serge made sure we got primo seats, as in: a huge-assed log, right in front of “Kaiju Circle" A damp, mossy log, one o...f maybe ten? They served as seats. Primo on the Primitiv-O. Our log. Our front row, ass-pain-delivery-conceyance log. She only required a few handkerchief thwacks , ending or hurling away, maybe a dozen, pesky, fire ants. A soil / dirt circle. A circle large enough to accommodate 20 people. Ornate the concentric designs were, beautiful, to be honest. Detailed, alien-scripture-ephemeral,  as the street paintings that are doomed by foot traffic. The drawings and writing (by stick, I assume) etched inwards from the outer ring, all the way to the center, where the “MC” would eventually take position. The ceremony was mostly comprised of locals, as I’m pretty certain tourists were:  in-absentia. the rumps on those stumps, the bums on that bark. I’m guessing, now... 30 people were in the audience? It was no... "Radiohead gig." Before I was carried to the van, and later briefed about the “finale” I missed… I can relay this much. The “MC” was a young(ish) woman, adorned with feathers and bones. Bone. Bones. Bone through her nose. Small prey. Mammalian = another guess. “Bone Gear.” Wherever her face and naked body ("mondo-regalia,” aside) was not tattooed or pierced by small scraps of metal, there was bone. Rat skulls?  I remember bone. Mucho Hueso. Suddenly came the drums. Loud as hell, this percussion. Man, there was a small army of drummers, banging these upright….tree-stump-type objects. If ever a time was right for earplugs, this was it. The jungle did not absorb that pummeling. I felt it in my body, like a recent, audiophile demo, at Soho's “Stereo Exchange." A beverage was passed around to the spectators, and my “handlers” ensured, and fairly aggressively, that I did not drink from that clay bowl. Four men. Four men Flanked the Priestess (I think this was what they called her), two on her left side, and two on her right side. A (very) young girl scurried forward, carrying some "Tim Burton-looking” cage, comprised of dead palm fronds and mossy bark, set it near the priestess’ feet, then darted back. Her entrance alacrity perfectly paced with her exit speed. Doves. Doves were crammed-tight! Doves! Doves , like concentration camp train victims….crammed in the most repulsive manner.i Thacrap-looking cage. Doves, super-stuffed, like ten marshmallows in a baby Raccoon’s fist. Trust me, I’ve seen it .Same visual. More drums. “When will they start?” The waiting. The endless, percussion-as-punishment. I wanted to bail. Then. Then, it just began. The squeeze. Why? to push the heart upwards - WTF? Then the bite. Surgical, her “bird-headings” were, Yeah. This gal was biting, then spitefully! It was ( a guess?) pre-PETA, but it felt...mega-pear-shaped. What am I even saying?  It was Haiti. 1977! Spitefully, she spat those dove heads, and in random directions. Bite…spit-quick-bubble-mouth. What the…? Ohhhhh! White morphs non-stop-red. Her “trick" was to make arterial spray, post-head-eject, rapidly retain dove blood in her mouth, then turn, to the drum beats…. Grand Guignol? I think this was a form of it. To the beat…. Bite, suck, hold, turn…spit… Spit the blood. SO much, the blood. Too much. Magic speed. Winter-squirrel. Puffy cheeks.  She spat the blood left, then right, spray-painting the faces of the four  men. I was having a rough time. I saw a grid. Black splotches, then a green, “electrified” grid, right tin front of my face. Still, I held on. I was definitely not happy. Then came those powders. I cannot tell you what was in them, nor what they were, no way. No tengo idea. I’d say 4-5 doves were given the "feral cat on PCP” treatment, then she blew various powders! Yes. Those mad powders, like sugar bombs exploding in the male faces. I was utterly amazed that the "dove-splosions" did not fell me. Amazed. I think my adult cohorts felt the same ; “Ballsy kid. Ballsy, for a spoiled, yankee bitch boy.” What did me in? It was that somnambulism “trick?” Was it a trick? Was it real? This was where I began to board the “Wooze Cruise.” One of the powders blown , obscured the male faces for a few seconds, then….THEN. Next, the powwders, and I’ll hazard another guesstimate:  2-minute absorption time. Those white powders. They made the dudes “Danse Macabre” . I am talking: some scary-assed, David-Lynch-type action. I was now in Batshit Town. Population: MIkeyboy, Grunts and howls. Pain. Ugly , animalistic sounds of agony, emitted from all four men. Freakish, gross, naked men, falling backwards, yet still-standing. Utterly insectoid. The unedited version of “The Exorcist.”   Regan doing the spider-walk. Four naked, full-body-paint-adorned , synchronized wig-outs. Jacob’s Ladder.. Esther Williams on shards of glass and bath salts. When the men's eyes rolled back, fiendishly displaying… I mean: "pop-out-level,”  hyper-bulging, white orbs ; yes indeed, I was getting my baaaaaaaaad freak-on, finally. The priestess summoned the men to do dog-like tricks. An arm was cut. She sucked from it…I barely recall my backflip off that fat-assed, wet log (eventually, I’d be doing that move endlessly, as a scuba diver, only, a tad more gracefully) I awoke in the grimy van that brought me to this netherworld. Ostensibly, I missed the highlight ie. “the finale.” I missed the part where the priestess and her charges were “resistant.” Example: They downed 4 bottles of Jack Daniels (apiece!) and  remained “sober.". The alcohol was inspected by the audience to prove it’s veracity etc. I missed this bit, and the wound-proof bit. I cannot tell you what I missed, as it was verbally detailed “at" me, I still had  (intermittent) ink splashes in my eyes. I was in and out of brief fainting spells. I did not have any interest, none,  in hearing more about the finale. I blew it. I never saw :The FULL Enchilada." Maybe? Someone cut one of the “performers” and there was no blood. Honestly, My 11-year old brain was knackered for the evening. I felt nauseated in a way that I never experienced (again), save for a night in Coney Island where my stripper girlfriend was performing at the sideshow, and her pal ( a writer, of course!) was retelling me his testicle injury horror story. OH, this is one that needs to be heard. That was faint number two. The only other times I have  “hit asphalt?” You don’t want to know. I am sure, rituals modern and old,  can be found online. I have no idea if there are or were(ever)  “rules or regulations,” in regards to said rituals. I saw what I saw, and it was unique, especially for Mikey, the 11-year old / previous dweller on “The Gold Coast of Manhattan." Haiti has beauty. There were amazing sights and indigent, yet upbeat people, but…. It’s a shit-show, by and large. It was awful then. and it’s worse , I believe, yes, worse now. I will not get political. I just forget. That’s what I do. I try to forget. It’s all locked up in my chest. I try to forget. It’s all locked up in my chest.

[postapocalyptical-blog]

Splinter (Movie 2008)

Splinter 2008 Magnolia Pictures & Magnet Releasing My Rating: ☆ A couple on vacation in the middle of nowhere, runs into an escaped convict. The three of them wind up in a middle of nowhere gas station, where they eventually find themselves holed up against the “Splinter Parasite.” This parasite turns it’s still living hosts into violent attacking carriers.  Trailer: https://youtu.be/aJndd5Eyz18 The movie opens as a lot of these “the middle of nowhere is scary” movies do, by establishing that this is indeed the middle of nowhere.  A dirty and as we can see by his “I Love Bikinis” hat, quite unprofessional gas station attendant, comes out of a very.... vintage... shall we say.... looking Sherman gas station.  Please note he is also munching contentedly on Cape Cod™ potato chips....

When he is knocked down and viciously attacked by a bloody, wonky ass RACCOON PELT:

This is the first real mistake this movie makes, on a lot of levels.  For one, while raccoons can be vicious even without a splinter parasite, they are really not that much bigger than a mid-sized dog. If you are being attacked by one, chances are you are not going to lay there on the ground screaming, whilst it chomps away at your testicles... which yes, is basically what gas station dude did. Instead of giving the audience a fit of giggles over what attacked him, it would be much better if the scene ended on him saying “sweet Jesus” and then panning to the couple.  People forget why The Blair Witch was so ungodly successful. It was because the “bad guy” was all in the mind of the viewer.  I sort of feel like ANYTHING would have been better than this beat up raccoon pelt... or felted animal... or I don’t even know really what it is. Anyhow:

We are then treated to the vacationing couple, who do everything possible in the book to establish that the wife wanted to do the camping, the husband is incompetent, and rather nerdy, and after five minutes of trying to set up a tent, give up to go look for a hotel.

We are also treated to the Convict, and his methed out looking girlfriend, as they are ditching a broken down truck that is presumably stolen. For some weird reason he also throws all of their stuff out into the woods.

To make a long story short, the Convict car-jacks the couple, even though his girlfriend is not too cool with it. They wind up at the Sherman Gas Station after catching a flat from running over an animal... that leaves spikes all up in the tires... this is presumably the pelt that attacked the Gas Station employee.  Convict gets stabbed with one of the spikes while changing the tire. The girlfriend takes the gun while the convict and the wife fix the tire, and the girlfriend has a little freak out at the husband, asking him to “fix” what is clearly a pretty dead and smothered piece of roadkill, and makes it clear that she is projecting some sort of past trauma, onto the bloodied raccoon spike-pelt that she calls “Ginger”. This whole bizzarre set up is to basically show that even”dead” the pelt still moves and attacks, and that this chick has a drug problem. (Because of course she does.) Again, I feel like it might have been more effective to have put a spike filled human leg or something in the road.  At this point I am sort of ok with literally everyone in this movie dying and becoming splinter creatures. 

Anyhow, the junkie girl friend is desperately trying to get into the bathroom at the Sherman, to do her drugs.  The one thing I will admit this movie WON on, is the first impression of the Splinter-Zombie, which begs her “Kill me”:

The fact that this guy locked himself in the bathroom, and unlike other Zombies, is still concious enough to beg for death, tells a horrifying story without laying it out for the viewer. The mind fills in the blanks about how horrifying it must be to be in this condition, still be aware, and be unable to control your body. What makes it more cringe-inducing is the fact that Gas station guy also has a broken to all hell ankle he gets up and walks on. The awesomeness basically ends here.  Girlfriend runs over to tell everyone she found a Splinter Zombie in the ladies room, and unlike pretty much every human being ever, just stands there waiting for it to attack while she convinces her boyfriend it’s there... instead of, you know, running into the car or gas station (where a phone presumably would be) and barring them all in. So of course she dies. Being a complete fuckwit, that just watched his girlfriend attacked by some sort of spike-zombie, the first thing that convict does, is RIP THE FUCKING PHONE OFF THE WALL.  I don’t care if he is an escaped convict, chances are a horrifying monster and a dead girlfriend means more than another stay in jail.  In true zombie fashion, girlfriend “comes back to life” and Convict rushes out to get her, telling the couple to stay in and lock the door, and unlock it when he gets her.  The wife is all “screw you” and keeps it locked, while the husband wimps out and unlocks it, just in time for the girl friend to reach up and grab Convicts leg, which makes him scream for some reason like he is being murdered, even though he should have expected it, if she was alive. In some way that would never be even remotely possible in real life, in shutting the door, three of the girlfriends fingers come off, which become sentient. As wimpy as the boyfriend is, he seems to have no problem kneeling down in front of fingers that are moving by themselves, and announcing “it’s going for the blood”.

I guess the effects budget was eaten up by sentient fingers, hence the raccoon pelt? After this ridiculous bullshit, the Girlfriend-zombie starts bashing herself against the window, which is terrifying, and had the ability to be really terrifying...except for the ridiculous cicada like noises she is making... something neither the gas station dude or the Raccoon pelt did. What would have made it BETTER, was if she begged for someone to kill her, or instead of those stupid noises, screamed horribly as she bashed her face against the glass. So many missed opportunities.

The three realize they need to escape... and for some reason the back door requires a “back door key”. Now I understand if you wanted to get IN The door... but not if you wanted to GET OUT of the door...   Eventually a cop shows up... ALONE despite the fact that there is an escaped convict that all of the cops in the area are looking for, and she decides to confront Convict through the glass of the Gas Station, even though she can’t see his hands, and it’s clear that he has hostages... and doesn’t seem to see the bloody mess by the window until she agrees to go call the whole thing in. This entire scene makes no sense, other than to add the totally typical “oh here’s a savior! Wait, no!... oh but they left behind a car/gun/means of communication!” (It should also be noted here that Convict and Wife can change tires, knows how to jimmy doors, and Husband is a nerd... but can’t duct tape the phone wires back together and make a call.)

In a real world, the place would be surrounded by cops once this woman failed to check in on occasion, but whatever.  The next brilliant plan that Convict comes up with... is setting the WOODS ON FIRE. Hopefully that is just an effect of the infection that is spreading through his body where he was stabbed in the finger.  Good lord. I hope they all die. For realz. What they end up doing is hooking the police woman’s radio, and bringing it to them. Of course, the zombie Girlfriend stops them in the middle of it, even though it’s hard to think that a parasite would be interested in what is going on, if it doesn’t involve human flesh or blood. In the meantime, the zombie Girlfriend manages to leave her severed hand and arm on the inside of the store, buy reaching into a service window slot... and somehow it severs? I dunno, I’d think human bone couldn’t just break like that... but MOVIE I suppose. What ensues is a HILARIOUSLY GOOFY scene where the couple holds this hand back, that is somehow flinging itself at them, by using some shelving. They act as if the hand is some sort of large, rabid dog... when it’s about 3lbs of hand meat.  The Convict states that they shouldn’t get stabbed... meanwhile it’s the perfect scenario for the TO get stabbed.... but THAT doesn’t happen. Look at this stupid shit:

They end up locking themselves in a freezer or something, which despite the power still being on, isn’t cold. The Husband mouths something about them “moving on instinct” in a pretty bland voice, and Convict finally starts to turn into one of the creatures. For some reason it’s decided, NOW to cut Convicts arm off. Despite the fact that we have seen the spikes grow out several inches, the Wife uses a blanket to grip the Zombie arm, while Husband uses a box cutter to start severing the arm.  The Wife comforts Convict, who seems borderline conscious, by saying “it’s ok we are just cutting off your arm!” 

Somehow they actually accomplish the task. I didn’t know you could slice thick arm bone with a box cutter, but here we are. They leave the refrigerator, and realize that the things are attracted by heat. They opt to lower Husband’s body temperature, in a bid to get him out into the cop’s car, and radio for help, and bring the car around.... even though you would think that when she didn’t show up for shift-change or check in, someone would get worried.

When he gets to the car... OH NOOOOES!! The radio doesn’t work! In order to save Husband, Convict and Wife hide in the fridge after letting Girlfriend-Zombie into the Gas station. Brilliant, since the had no idea that Husband would show up randomly with a shot gun, and start firing.  This doesn’t seem to do much, until the hand jumps and lands miraculously into the fire, and instantly stops moving, leading Husband to assume all they need to do was to get the rest of GF-Zombie into it as well.  Now, we just covered that they are attracted to heat, and one would think that they would walk into it all by themselves... but MOVIE. In another absolutely STUPID scene, the shotgun is given to Convict, who if you remember has ONE ARM. In pure.... but MOVIE... fashion, Convict shoots a ONE HANDED shell into the gas pump, just in time to set Girlfriend-mutation-Zombie/ Silent Hill Boss on fire.

Just FYI, for you non-gun folk, shotguns of ALL KINDS have pretty hefty kick back, and tend to be pretty heavy. The idea that a man who just had his arm cut off, could one hand a shot gun...  .....sigh.

Convict finally succumbs to the parasite (sorry we cut off your arm there brah!) and hands the couple a key, telling them to go to the bank and give everything inside to.... oh what was it? His daughter?  I dunno, this movie got boring really fast. 

Of course, the Gas Station erupts into a huge ball of flame... because it HAS TO according to all movies like it, and the couple goes walking down the street, leaning on each other. Yay! But it’s over.....right? RIGHT?

DAMN YOU RACCOON PELT! DAMN YOU!

In closing, this movie had a LOT that it could have offered, had it been done right. The few... or should I say two glimmering bits of awesomeness, were nothing in comparison to the load of this this movie is. It’s almost lazy.