#‘man with blue lightsaber good red lightsaber bad’ ‘Anakin was good but then he became bad :(’

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

me, trying to navigate the star wars fandom on tumblr and find sensible posts I agree with: damn it’s like a minefield in here

[levisnackajack]

Unquenchable Delicacies

Chapter V

Many weeks had passed after the eventful night in your quarters. 

After that evening, it was as though your stares at each other had become more heated and the urge to touch him seemed more overwhelming. Training had become more bearable as you so the growing respect Anakin began to have towards you. Pride swelling in your chest as your heart beat faster. 

Instead of casually leaning against a pillar, Anakin would actively train beside you. If you needed any help, he would place his hands on your body, strategically moving your limbs around to succumb to the correct stance. He would mutter instructions in your ears, in a type of way that would leave your whole body peppered in goosebumps.  

But, that was all it was- lingering looks and dreamy endeavors. You sighed as you sunk into your chair, the lull of Anakin’s Corellian G9 Rigger-class light freighter engines groaning as the spacecraft zoomed through hyperspace. Anakin glanced at you from his peripheral vision, his lips tucking upwards into a sly smirk. You raised a brow. 

“Is my flying boring you?” He quipped as a pool of similar stars surrounded them; signifying how much closer they were to their destination.

“No, but sitting around doing nothing is,” you retorted, fingers lazily twirling at the ends of your hair. Anakin craned his neck as he turned to face you- dark, sea-blue eyes staring humorously at you. 

“Ah, interesting. Even though last night you begged me to let you retire from training sooner so you can ‘relax’ before our mission. I see,” he laughed, silently accepting your playful scowl as an appropriate response. 

Even though you seemed to be on good terms; earlier you had gotten into a fight. You pleaded for Anakin to let you fly them to Alderaan as word had revealed that Count Dooku was preparing for something terrible to happen. You were to travel with your master, capture Dooku and bring him before the Jedi Council. Tension was bubbling back in Coruscant as secessionist propaganda began stirring around the levels. Star systems had begun seceding from the Galactic Republic, pledging their allegiance to the Confederacy of Independent Systems. This had begun burdening the Jedi Council greatly. As the Confederacy of Independent Systems grew slowly; time rapidly became highly valuable as no one knew when the next planned attack would befall. Hence, arresting Count Dooku was a current, number one priority. 

In any case, Anakin had irritated you even more as he stubbornly denied you the pleasure of flying the ship. But you quietened down, knowing from first-person experience how much General Skywalker loved his time controlling the spacecraft. If you were being completely honest with yourself- it was kind of cute. 

“Let’s just get this over with,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose as Anakin flipped a couple of switches on, soundly telling you to help him begin the landing process. You complied to your master’s wishes, leaning forward to tap the buttons laying in front of you on the elongated, sleek dashboard of his ship. 

________________________________________________________________

The opening groaned as it declined downwards, creating the path connecting between the metal spacecraft and the green lands of Alderaan. Following Anakin’s suit, you stepped onto the grass; the blanket of gravel crunching under the pressure of your boots. He had landed on a tiny opening surrounded by a forest of intimidating trees- an attempt to conceal the huge, silver Freighter craft. You parted ways slightly as you decided to explore the environment surrounding you; only to run back to him when he whistled at you. 

“Look,” he pointed to the ground, the clear sight of fresh footsteps scarring the earth before your eyes. You bit your lip. 

“Seems like he isn’t travelling alone.” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he had his own droid army. Dooku is intelligent; he knows we’re coming for him. Our advantage is that we now know where to find him,” Anakin muttered bitterly, running a hand through his hair before reaching to touch your shoulder. 

“Let’s just follow the trail and see where it leads us.” 

You raised a brow in question. “If he indeed has an army protecting him, don’t you think we’d need some back up?” 

Anakin sent you a cocky smirk; already taking the lead as he continued onward. 

“Please. It’s nothing we can’t take.” 

________________________________________________________________

“I’m...waiting...for...an...apology,” you yelled out, lightsaber sizzling at the contact it continuously made with the shots sent your way. 

“Fine,” Anakin bellowed back as his own weapon single-handedly slashed through three different droids before deflecting his own fair share of shots. “I apologize...we should’ve...called for...backup,” he pushed out through gritted teeth, lightsaber decapitating any droid standing in his way as he advanced towards Dooku, who eagerly watched the young Jedi General and his Padawan demolish his supposed ‘protectors’. 

You weren’t necessarily angry at the turn of events. You just knew that if Anakin had listened to you earlier and called for backup- getting to Count Dooku would’ve been a much easier job. Unfortunately, it seemed as though your overly-confident master possessed too much faith in the both of you. But, that made you fight harder as a feeling of warmth spread through your body; the butterflies in your stomach fighting a battle of their own. 

When you noticed Dooku pulling out his own lightsaber; you realized how close Anakin was to him. Instead of hurrying towards him, you continued engaging in combat with the droids, your dominant hand doing all the work with your lightsaber as your other hand reached out to pull out your Holopad; fumbling to contact Master Obi-Wan as your eyes stayed trained on the enemy before you. 

“Hello, Padawan Y/N, have you encountered a problem?” Obi-Wan’s voice echoed through the device, the blue flicker of his silhouette glitching and oscillating as you held onto it tightly. 

“Well, Master, yes and no,” you grunted out as you firmly gripped onto your weapon, another shot  bouncing off the blazing blade and through the chest of the attacker droid. Not only were you currently focusing on the group of droids charging at you, but you could also hear Anakin growling as he engaged in a one-on-one fight with Count Dooku. 

“Good news is that we found Dooku...Anakin is currently preoccupied with him..bad news is that we jumped into action... too quickly...we probably need some backup.” 

You heard Obi-Wan click his tongue before sighing. “Ah Anakin, stubborn as always. I’ll be there soon.” His profile disperses and he ends the line of communication. 

You give out a great yell in frustration as the number of droids continue growing. Lucky for you, they were the slow ones- that needed so much as a push to knock them out. Seeing as the Force was eternally with you, you used it to literally shoved a line of them backwards, smirking widely when you heard them clash into their incoming subordinates.

After what seemed like eternity, Obi-Wan and a few other spacecrafts landed near the abandoned, droid-occupied mansion you were currently fighting for your life in. When the responsibility of struggling against an entire fleet of droids had finally been lifted off of your chest, you sprinted towards your master and Dooku. 

You watched as flashes of azure blue clashed with the crimson blood-red color of Dooku’s lightsaber. You wanted to jump in. 

“No, Y/N, let me finish this piece of space filth,” Anakin barked out at you. For a split second, his eyes met yours, a dangerous fire burning in his pupils. 

“Master, you needn’t have to kill him. Let the Council deal with him,” you called back, cunningly twirling the saber in your hand as you got into a threatening stance- ready to pounce and intervene at any second. 

“Yes, Anakin, do listen to that beautiful Padawan of yours. If something were to happen to you- don’t worry- I’ll take good care of her,” Dooku drawled out, his voice sickly venomous as Anakin’s expression contorted into one displaying pure, lucid rage. In the blink of an eye, Anakin twisted his saber, slicing through something that had resulted Dooku in expelling a piercing screech of pain. 

He fell to the ground, hand clutching at his other hand; as part of his limb fell beside him. Blood pooled around the Sith; soaking into his cloak as he stayed on his knees, head dropped. 

“That’s for what happened during our last encounter and for the fact that you can’t watch your tongue,” Anakin declared poisonously as he strode towards the fallen man; roughly picking him up and dragging him towards your spacecraft. You walked behind them, stopping shortly to talk to Obi-Wan as his clone-troopers fought off the last of the droids. 

“Congratulations on your successful mission, Y/N. Anakin has taught you well. Go back to Coruscant with him, deliver Dooku to the Council and I’m sure that you should be expecting good news soon regarding your elevation into Knighthood,” Obi-Wan pointedly stated, a smile of contentedness and pride plastered onto his face. You respectfully bowed before hurrying back to your spacecraft. 

“Thank you, Master Obi-Wan. I’ll see you soon.” 

________________________________________________________________

After making sure Dooku doesn’t bleed out on your way back to Coruscant; you slumped back down next to Anakin; lazily stretching your arms outwards. 

The Freighter spacecraft was currently floating through space, the constellations rapidly changing every single second. 

Anakin had been unusually quiet.

“Anakin, are you okay?” You whispered as you examined his strained expression. He gave you a quick glance before looking away. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay?” 

“I am. I hope you’re not mad that I sent Obi-Wan our coordinates.” 

He absentmindedly shook his head, his pale face causing you to bubble up with worry. 

That’s when you noticed the deep gash drawn up from his chest, all the way to the end of his shoulder. You gasped. 

“You’re hurt! Why didn’t you say-” 

“I’m fine,” Anakin replied firmly and if these were circumstances in which neither of you were hurt- you would have closed your mouth and not pressed on. But, he was wounded and you couldn’t just sit there and thrive in ignorance. 

“No, you’re not. Let me help you,” you stoically retorted back, standing abruptly before heading to retrieve the ship’s medical kit. Anakin’s loud, disinterested sigh filled in the silence between you. 

Trembling hands clutched onto the equipment as you realized that now you had to get to his skin. Anakin finally turned to arch a brow at you; knowingly waiting for you to tell him what to do next. 

“Can you...can you please take off your robe and tunic?” You mumbled out, cheeks turning a deep shade of pink. A satisfied Anakin smirked before wincing as he tried to untangle himself out of his clothing. 

“Since you’re asking nicely...although I think I need help with that too,” he offered in a low, raspy voice as you uneasily looked down at him. 

Seeing as there was no other way to move forward without peeling his clothes off of him; you sucked in a deep breath before moving to stand in between his legs. Your slim fingers gently unclasped the hook of his robe; letting it flow over the side of his seat. Carefully pulling at the fabric of his black tunic, you freed it from the grasps of the dried blood before tucking it over his head and onto your seat. Your eyes widened at the solidness of his chest. The way his muscles flexed at every breath he took. You admired him for a second longer; before your eyes fell onto the deep cut that seemed to be Dooku’s doing. 

Anakin shivered as the cold air in their spaceship stroked his bare flesh; but also because he noticed your staring. Swallowing hard, his fought the urge to bite down on his lip and do something the Council had classed as forbidden for any Jedi. He watched you through hooded eyes as you rubbed bacta solution on his wound, wincing here and there if the pain increased. Deep down, he thanked Dooku for doing him this favor. 

You avoided Anakin’s heated stare that drilled through your skull. But that completely juxtaposed your next action as you absentmindedly lowered yourself onto his lap, making it easier for you to work on his wound. He bit back the groan that threatened to escape through his lips. Both of your force signatures had darkened, filled with signs of forbidden want. 

He propped his knees in an effort to make it more comfortable for you, which caused you to look into his darkened pupils and raise a brow. 

“I can sense you, you know?” He growled out, his uninjured, metallic hand finding comfort at the curve of your waist as he gave you a squeeze. You jumped at his touch, your chest rising and falling at a quick pace- similar to Anakin’s. 

“I can sense you too,” you countered as Anakin’s gaze flickered to your lips. 

“I’m not sure when in the galaxy this happened; but the sight of you fighting off all those droids today was incredibly appealing,” he purred out, head cocking to the side as you brushed your fingers through his hair. You leaned in, lips brushing against his ear. 

“I guess you should thank my master for teaching me how to fight like that.” 

Without a warning, Anakin’s hand grabbed at your throat as he pulled you in- crashing his lips into yours. You moaned into his mouth, immediately retaliating as your arms snaked around his neck, pulling him closer. He bit your bottom lip, making you sigh out a moan- and he utilized that to his advantage as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. The kiss was everything you had imagined it to be. 

Butterflies burned your insides, your heart was racing at a speed that was twice faster than the Freighter you were on and the sweet taste of his full lips against yours made you fully straddle him. 

Anakin groaned as his fingers found refuge between the locks of your hair. He aggressively pulled your head to the side, planting sloppy, wet kisses on the corner of your lips before moving down the side of your jaw and onto your throat. You craned your neck to give him easier access, your own fingers rushing to latch onto his long, brown curls. 

When he finally pulled away, you were both breathing heavily, the ecstasy of desire clouding your heads. Anakin looked smugly at you, feeling proud that you looked so disheveled all because of him. Your pouted lips were a prime, swollen red color. Your eyes were hooded with a longing appetite that he had previously only gotten to see as a rare glance sent his way. 

“Anakin,” you whispered softly as you brushed his bangs out of his face. He pressed a finger against your lips, gently silencing you. 

“Don’t, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for a while to do something like this. Your force signature- no matter how much you tried to conceal it from me- it made me go insane as I sensed this carnal urge coming from you too.”

“But...this is wrong. The Council-” 

“Yeah, this sort of thing is forbidden. But, above all, we are human. We are unable to suppress such feelings. It’s in our nature. If there’s a code that forbids attachments; then we can simply ignore it and decide what to do by ourselves. Y/N, no one must know,” Anakin explained in a soft, low voice- his fingers mindlessly playing with a lock of your hair. You pursed your lips, afraid that if you drown in the pleasures of living an enigmatic fantasy with Anakin; you will both get into trouble. 

But then again, as Anakin used to always say during training- “Codes are created so they can ignored and broken.” 

You rested your palms at the side of his face, kissing him sweetly, as opposed to the intense and passionate first kiss you had shared a moment ago. 

“I trust you with my life, Anakin. I can’t keep trying to hide my force signature from you. If this is what our destiny has stored for us, then who am I to try and deny us of that path?” 

He flashed you a wide smile, pulling you in for a kiss that had completely wiped out the entire galaxy from your mind. 

It was just you and him. 

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A/N 

Thanks for all the love and support you’re all sending me via reading my story :) 

I’m not sure if I’m entirely happy with this chapter, but I just wanna let you know that just because they kissed once doesn’t mean that now I’m gonna make their love story easier ;) 

Till next time, 

EnVy

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Taglist:

@shads121 @musictelevision @anakinswhore 

[kyberphilosopher]

𝐀𝐤𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐚

The both of them were searching for someone whose demons would mirror their own.

Word Count: 5489

a·kra·sia/əˈkrāZH(ē)ə/ noun

“akrasia: the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgment through weakness of will.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi had always been far too versed in the light side of the force for your taste. It was annoying, to say the least. The way the Jedi walked around like they’re better than everybody else, and then denying it. The narrow minded point of view. The ridiculous robes. It was all very exhausting to deal with. 

The Jedi Order had no recollection of you. There was nothing to suggest you had ever been a part of them, or even ever fallen under the power of the Republic. Therefor, nobody knew where you came from. 

Anakin and Master Kenobi simply encountered you one day as a General for the Separatist forces. You were also a Sith of some kind- they weren’t sure on the details. The very first fight ended with you nearly killing Anakin, Obi-Wan having to bandage his knee, and you receiving a scar from your left collarbone to your shoulder. Another time, you and Kenobi went head to head. You would’ve killed him, had Anakin not intervened. 

So, Anakin didn’t like you very much. Fine with you. 

The real prize was Obi-Wan. 

As stated above, Kenobi was far too attached to the light for your liking. As far as you could tell, the man wasn’t tempted by the darkness in the slightest. This fact baffled you. You had seen what Kenobi’s life would be like if he became a Sith. He would’ve been far powerful than many of his fellow Jedi. You would've even been willing to venture that his skills would come close to your own! But, the man was inexplicably, irrationally, and annoyingly selfless. 

Similarly, Obi-Wan had taken note of your own fatuous traits. 

Obi-Wan, through all his goodness, had never thought you to be selfish. There were times where he saw you make selfish decisions, or act selfishly- but you were not selfish by nature. Obi-Wan knew, somewhere deep down, that you felt guilt at your bad deeds. Unfortunately, that distant guilt was not enough to stop you from being ruthless and cunning in battle. And for that, Obi-Wan felt that he had somehow failed you, even though he didn’t know anything about your previous life. 

So, if Obi-Wan had to describe you, it could be summed up in a few words. Lethal. Intelligent. Devious. Unnerving. Powerful. Dealing with you was something that Obi-Wan never looked forward to, unlike Anakin, who was secretly rooting for it.

 However, despite all your flaws, Kenobi shared something incredibly disturbing with you.

You were the one that had started it. The night of your first encounter, you couldn’t stop thinking about the man. He was just so... good. The way he fought used the third form of lightsaber combat- the one that focused more on defense than offense. So he wasn’t aiming to kill you, and he probably never would be. Baffling. You could sense that he wasn’t excessively good with the use of the force, but well enough. Kenobi was in no way attracted to power or stepping on others. This, in it’s entirety, is what made you decide to try a bit of psychological warfare. 

You appeared to him in the night. Projecting yourself across the galaxy, across the moon and the stars, you let him see you. He couldn’t see where you were or where you were going to be, only you. Dressed in black robes and your hair tied back casually, you wore the little scratch Kenobi had given your cheek with pride. 

While you were proud of this feat, Kenobi was caught off guard. He had just finished a conversation with Anakin about the young man was seriously skirting the line with the council, ending in Anakin walking away with thin lips. Obi-Wan sighed, glancing at the ground and leaning against the wall in deep thought. 

He couldn’t explain what happened next. One blink, and it was the other half of the archive room. The walls glowed blue with technology and magic. The floor was a clean and sterile white. But then, it wasn’t. It wasn’t even really the archive room anymore. In the next blink, Kenobi was looking at the other half of a gray, blockish room. It reminded him very much of a Venator, especially with the giant window that gave a view of the trillions of stars against the ink black heavens. 

And, of course, you were there in the middle. 

Obi-Wan perked up in shock. His blue eyes widened, his shoulder coming off the wall as his lips parted. You stayed still, your hands clasped behind your back as a smirk danced across the corners of your mouth. 

“Hello, my dear Obi-Wan,” you greeted slyly. “What’s the matter? Did you miss me already?”

Obi-Wan took only a second to understand the situation. He wasn’t sure how you were doing this, or a certainty as to why. Still, he was a smart man, and he saw that if this was how the night would go, then so be it. 

“Oh, of course,” he answered with equal tone. His own lips were curling up into a smile, the way they did when Ventress tried to pull dialogue like this with him. The only difference was that he truly preferred you doing this instead of her. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d forgotten about me.”

“How could I forget the man with such a clean technique?” you quipped back. Your right hand raised up to gesture at the dark red injury on your face. 

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow smugly. The retort he had thought of was not even a true one, but he knew how this banter would go. “I suppose any technique would appear clean to you, Y/N.”

Yes. There it was. That little twitch in your lips that revealed the Jedi had struck a nerve. “Oh, and here I was believing Ventress when she told me you were a gentleman.”

“Did she? Why don’t you tell me where she’s going to be next so I can talk to her about it myself?”

“Does it matter?” you questioned. Step one of throwing him off was complete. Now it was time for step two- sowing doubts. “You’ve already lost the war. You’re going to lose the battle, too.”

“That’s bold talk from you,” Obi-Wan challenged. 

“I’d call it truthful gossip,” you mused. “And in case you’d forgotten, I almost killed your precious padawan today.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but take a sharp, defensive step forward. “Anakin is more than capable of holding his own.”

“But you care about him,” you ventured. Your grin was becoming more and more poisonous as you began to waltz around the area. You knew exactly what you were doing, and Obi-Wan knew that. “What’s going to happen when you’re forced to kill him? Ah, I can only wonder.”

Kenobi was at a loss for words. His eyes were flitting back and forth between your own, trying to make sense of your statements. Were you lying to him? Was this part of the obvious ploy to upset him? If so, it was working. He cared for Anakin. He couldn’t imagine harming the man he called his brother. 

“Oh, how I wonder,” you smirked finally. Then you turned away from Obi-Wan, and he was left alone in the Archive room again, as if you were never even there. 

                                    ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

The next time you had come to him, things ended differently. 

It was days before your third encounter, and your second fight. The last time you’d seen him, he’d only caught a glimpse of you smirking before disappearing into the depths of the ship and most likely the escape pods. But this time, Kenobi and Cody had hatched a brilliant plan to intercept you outside Christophsis. During the battle to attempt to slow your troops, Anakin and Obi-Wan would infiltrate your ship and attempt to subdue you. There was no way you could reach the escape pods this time- a new confrontation was inevitable. 

While Obi-Wan leaned over the holotable, studying the battle plans and maps, he stroked his beard thoughtfully. His blue eyes glinted in the glow of the room, sparkling like two little planets. Even you had to admit, the General had a beautiful, analytical brain that everyone could take a few lessons from. This only spurred you on more in your endeavor to ruin him, however. 

“What’re you looking at?” you mused. 

Obi-Wan stiffened upright, focusing on your voice. He knew you hadn’t somehow sneaked your way onto the ship at least, which left the second most likely scenario more realistic. 

“I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure that out,” he said. Obi-Wan turned around, careful to leave one hand looming over the button that turned the table back to simple planets. In a swirl, the maps and plans were gone, replaced with artificial stars and systems projected into the air. The ocean light of the room fell over your features faintly, which confused the Jedi for a second. The only colors he had ever seen as shadows with you were the deep red from your lightsabers. Usually, they were so angry and stark that you looked menacing. 

Make no mistake- you were menacing. Obi-Wan would never be foolish enough to think that you weren’t. But in the sapphire light, you reminded him of a Jedi. You looked- dare he say it?- pretty. Softer. Is that what you could’ve been at one point? A Jedi? Soft, and pretty?

“You flatter me,” you purred as you dipped your head. “I almost really believed you weren’t a gentleman.” You gave Obi-Wan the moment to respond, but he did not take the possibility. In fact, you could see that he was clearly raking his eyes over your face in search of some kind of answer. Perhaps you should do the same.

“Tell me,” you continued. “How does the gentleman intend to capture the lady tomorrow?” 

You took note of the faint wrinkles under his eyes. They weren’t from age or ailment, but lack of sleep and too much experience. There were few marks on his face, but still noticeable. No, they didn’t make him appear unattractive or undesirable, but instead gave him a sort of character. Did he have scars along his body? Was there ever a foe who marked him forever? Sure, you had scratched the Jedi with your lightsaber not too long ago, but it was nothing that wouldn’t eventually fade. Even then, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done the same to you. Your cheek was still streaked with a thin, pink gash that had begun to heal as a part of your flesh from what Kenobi had done to you. 

“Perhaps the gentleman would rather avoid conflict all together?” Kenobi mused. Ever the polite one, this man. “Perhaps you could turn yourself in now and save yourself the troops?”

You scoffed audibly. It was close to a laugh, but not quite. Did Sith’s laugh? “You are easily mistaken if you believe I care for the lives of a few clankers.”

“Clankers? Spending some time with the Clones, are we?”

“I’ve had enough of them in my detention cells to know what kind of language they use,” you said with a promise. In truth, you had captured a few Clone troopers, but that wasn’t how you had picked up the term ‘clanker’. You had gathered it after hearing some Clone describe it while listening in on transmissions. Finding it catchy and somewhat clever, you adopted it yourself. 

“Is that something you enjoy?” Obi-Wan quizzed. He took a step forward, his hands coming together with bent arms to hide each other in the length of his sleeves. 

No, actually. It wasn’t. You’d never cared much for torture. Sure, you had used it when you had to, but it had never been your first resort. You had no explanation for this. It just didn’t seem high up on your priorities list. 

“Now, who doesn’t love a good torture chamber?” you quipped. 

Unfortunately for you, it was too late for that kind of response. Obi-Wan had somehow seen the fault in your face. Maybe he saw your brow twitch, or your eyes dull, or your throat catch- you couldn’t say. But he had seen it. 

Obi-Wan nodded once, his lips still upturned at the stimulation from the interaction. “I don’t believe you.”

You weren’t sure where to go now. Your cocky and sarcastic features were beginning to fade away, replaced with a slow and diminishing frown. 

“Give up this fight,” Kenobi ventured. “If you turn yourself in now, you’ll avoid bloodshed. We both know that’s what you want.”

You swallowed dryly. Did you want that? To avoid bloodshed? You hadn’t minded it in the past, but there were times when you found enough of it distasteful. Could tomorrow’s battle be one of those times? 

“A Sith does not negotiate with the weak,” you finally answered. Once more, your face hardened back to it’s original expression. Menacing. 

Obi-Wan wondered if he should’ve said the next words. He played them over in his mind several times in the next second, before finally deciding on giving them a try. “Then perhaps, you are not a Sith.”

Your eyes widened at the statement. It struck a million things inside of you- anger, frustration, wonder, longing, embarrassment, astonishment, fear- everything. Your lungs tightened so much in your chest, they felt sore. From the sheer impact of Kenobi’s words, you took a step back defensively. 

Then you disappeared again. 

Obi-Wan stumbled backwards, hand reaching to clutch his heart. A dull headache had immediately begun forming in his temples, thrumming around like a growing drill. His lungs felt like they had had all the air kicked from them. His right cheek stung in the shape of a straight, thin line. Struggling to catch his breath, the Jedi reached his free hand back to grip onto the edge of the holotable for support. 

Mirroring the man, you jolted back as his form vanished. Your feet slipped from under you, and one of your knees was now angrily demanding your attention. Your bottom hit the floor flatly as your chest heaved up and down, gasping for the breath you had somehow lost. A bead of sweat had singularly formed on the side of your face in something like terror and shock. 

Neither you, nor Obi-Wan could explain this. 

                                   ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

By the third... ‘projection’ between you and Obi-Wan, you had met eachother on the battlefield six times, and Anakin five. The scar Kenobi had given you from your first encounter had softened significantly. Even so, it would remain forever. As much as you hated it, you had spent several nights awake thinking of how it was like a kind of mark he had made on you. Not quite something that ‘claimed’ you, per say, but a type of signature. A permanent autograph or stain that was made by the person who bothered you the most. 

Ventress, who was probably the closest thing you had to a friend, had told you it was awfully seductive in her overly sweet voice. While her hand caressed your cheekbone, the heaviness of your heart only briefly softened before falling back. 

But the third projection was different. You were not the one who initiated it. In fact, after your second meeting, you were perfectly happy to never interact with Kenobi again, unless you were fighting. During those combative moments, you could put your deep thoughts aside in order to accomplish your mission. 

But this time was not a combative moment. And yet, you were having some trouble accomplishing your mission. 

“Go on,” your master commanded in his low voice. “Execute the younglings.” 

Your lightsabers were in your hands, crossed over each other. When you would pull them apart, the sabers would slice out, and heads would roll. That’s what was bothering you. The heads reminded you very much of your young nephew, who had turned six not too long ago. 

You couldn’t remember why you had to do this. All you could remember was that Count Dooku was telling you to do it, and his patience would not last forever. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want to kill younglings. They hadn’t done anything wrong, and they had no place in the war. 

And thus, this was why you were hesitating. Every time you thought you had the surge of energy to do the deed, your heart pounded so hard your arms stayed stiff. 

“Is it really so hard?” Count Dooku said tautly. His eyes narrowed in disappointment at you, frown deepening. 

And then, Kenobi’s voice called out to you. Like an angel, or a kind of conscious, you could see him so clearly in front of you, it was like you were actually speaking to him. 

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows were furrowed together in concern as he looked you up and down. He could see your stance, and the force surrounding you so intensely. He could analyze the sweat forming, your heart rate that matched his own. Your expression was laced with anguish and conflict, and he just knew you were about to do something you didn’t want to do. Obi-Wan understood that you were about to kill.

“Where are you?” he asked. 

You couldn’t answer. You would’ve looked like you were talking to yourself, and how horrible would that have been in front of Master Dooku? Instead, you only open and closed your chapped lips softly. Your eyebrows twitched. 

“What are you waiting for?” Dooku boomed at you. 

Obi-Wan leaned back and widened his eyes at the recognition of the voice. “Y/N, whatever you’re about to do, don’t.”

“If you’re unable to do this, my young apprentice, I will have to find someone more suitable.”

You squeezed your eyes tight. 

“Don’t!” Obi-Wan called. 

You didn’t stop yourself. You so desperately wanted to. But you didn’t. 

Your arms sliced apart. The searing hum buzzed through the air crisply, followed by multiple thumps against the ground. 

“Very good,” your master praised coolly from behind you. Even with your eyes shut tight, you could tell he had a cold smirk of relief resting on his face. “Meet me back at my ship.”

You opened your eyes slowly. Your skin felt sticky with sweat, and every muscle in your body was tightened up. Your shoulders and neck felt sore, and even your eyelashes felt heavy. The familiar weight of guilt sunk into your stomach so much more solid than ever before. Maybe it was because you had just committed something so terrible in front of one of the most noble people in the galaxy. Maybe it was just the sheer and straight anxiety that came with doing something you knew was against your better judgement. 

Obi-Wan looked at you silently. He knew what you had done. He knew the irreversible, evil and disproportionate thing that you had done. 

But now, he also knew that you needed help. You looked at him with pure fear and shame, and he could see how vulnerable and inhumanly human you were. He could tell, for a fact, that you would never be a real Sith. Did you have fear? Anger? Hate? Were you suffering? Yes. But you were not evil. Obi-Wan might’ve even dared to say that you were incapable of being so. 

You tore yourself away when Count Dooku called your name from the ship. Eyes darting between his blue orbs. The first step you took away from him, you evaporated into thin air, and Obi-Wan was alone in his ship once more. 

                                   ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

The fourth time was the one that changed everything. 

You had only faced Obi-Wan and Anakin one time since he saw you kill the younglings, and unfortunately, Obi-Wan had also noticed you had a split second to kill him during the fight. Obviously, you hadn’t taken it. 

Your hands balled and unballed themselves against your knees. Palms sweaty, your whole abdomen had begun feeling like shaky jelly. Ever since the day with the younglings, you had begun to lose weight. You felt weaker, even though the darkness inside of you told you to feel so good. The circles under your eyes had darkened and deepened, and several lines had appeared on your face to make you look far more detached. 

You look unhealthy and unhinged, to be frank. 

Luckily, Ventress was there to tell you you still appeared inherently ‘handsome’. 

Your lungs pierced themselves and screamed with every breath. 

A hand reached out to touch your own, your left. 

You only allowed yourself a few moments to look it over. You observed the veins through it, the strength and width. It was a man’s, and a rather wise man’s at that. You could see little divots and callouses from work with a lightsaber, and clean nails that showed the owner had no time to bite at them anxiously. Despite how much you hated touching, you felt yourself sinking into the simple touch from the hand. It was, to be direct, the most comforting thing that had ever happened to you. 

Still, you gripped a hold of your heart, and shot your hand away. Your head raised to meet the owners eyes. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi, though you hated to admit it, had the eyes that you found yourself looking for often. Whether it was to avoid him, or find a comfort deep down, you did it. They were dapper and blue and deep, and changed in the shades of the sunlight. In contrast to his strawberry blonde hair, they shown and glimmered like an ocean. 

Obi-Wan felt the same about your own. Your eyes were conflicted and obviously conveyed several emotions, but also held a history that captivated him. He felt that they deserved everyone’s captivation. He wanted to study them like he would an ancient story, and memorize every changing detail within them. Even with the tired darkness underneath, he felt that they were uniquely beautiful in their own way. 

“Why are you here?” you seethed lowly. 

Obi-Wan glanced down, and then back up honestly. “I heard you calling out.” Before you could scoff, Obi-Wan quickly added, “I felt it.” 

You shook your head. “I wasn’t calling out. I would never call out for you.”

The man swallowed, determining the best approach. “I know that you are angry, but I’m here to help you.”

Kenobi’s tone was sincere, but you wouldn’t- couldn’t- believe it. “Help me?” you scoff. “I don’t need help.”

The Jedi tilted his head at you, looking deeply into your eyes. His orbs were piercing and infinite, it seemed. “You know that’s not true.”

At that, your anger washed away. A frown came down over you. Your eyebrows knitted themselves together in pain. Your eyes became rimmed with simultaneously hot and cold tears. Cheeks grew pink enough to totally disguise Obi-Wan’s signature. 

The way he was looking at you was just so intimate and understanding. Never, not in your whole life, had somebody done this. It seemed, in fact, that Kenobi could see right through you. He could feel you. He could feel your heart, your ribs, your tendons, and your pain. He could feel the soreness in your muscles, how tired your head felt. He wanted, more than anything, for you to have a rest. The Dark Side had done everything it was ever going to do for you. You didn’t need this weight any longer. Obi-Wan wanted to know how you would look when you laughed. 

Your head hung down as your first sob came out. Your fists balled even tighter together, both returning to your knees. 

Feeling his respect for you, mixed with your sadness, Obi-Wan reached his hand out again. His palm ran over your right fist for the second time, and this time you did not rip away. Instead, your own fingers unraveled and relaxed. The Jedi ran his thumb over your angry knuckles and your cunning fingers, silently keeping you close, even though you were far, far away. 

                                   ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

You did not see Obi-Wan in projections again. 

Some weeks later, you had however, seen him in his entirety. 

Your ship was on fire. Some stupid clanker had miscalculated and allowed your fleet to settle right into General Skywalker’s attack. With every jolt, you stumbled and struggled to maintain balance. Your internal conflict had been continuing to cause you to lose weight in the worst way, and it had recently gotten hard enough to keep yourself upright. 

Finally reaching the hanger, you heaved in exertion. Somewhere, Obi-Wan was outside, either flying around or searching for you aboard. You found, to your nightmare, you had missed him terribly in this exact moment. 

The igniting hum of a lightsaber made you raise your brows. In the middle of the hanger, with sparks falling from above, was that young Togruta girl. The Skywalker padawan. What was her name again? Aheka? Aurora? Ahsoka? Yeah, Ahsoka. 

She glares at you angrily. Her face is scrunched in determination, something that reminds you so much of Anakin himself. Both her sabers were at the ready, and her stance was that of one about to pounce. 

Yes, Ahsoka was trained by someone powerful. This, however, did not mean that she was a match for you. If you fought this one without restraint, you would undoubtedly kill her. You did not want to do that. 

“Hello, General,” she taunted. Definitely Anakin’s padawan. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Despite your exhaustion and the sharp pain in your ribs, you answered her sincerely. “Please,” you called out. “Please, move aside. I don’t want to fight you.”

Ahsoka’s eyes narrow at you. “You’re under custody of the Galactic Republic now. If you won’t fight, you’ll be detained.”

You shook your head, exhausted and defeated. “I can’t go with you. I won’t fight you, but I won’t go with you.”

Darkly, the Togruta replied to you. “Then I will make you.”

She launched forward from the balls of her feet. In a flash, you managed to take out one of your sabers and switch it on. The red clashed against the green in defense, making you lean back before pushing forward. 

No. You would not kill Ahsoka Tano. 

You are very strict about playing offense in the next minute. The only time you ever actually strike the young one is when your blades catch each other.

Not so far away, a voice yells, “Snips!” 

Ahsoka Tano looks at her master. You identify Anakin quickly enough, and seize the opportunity. Your leg snaps up against the Togruta’s stomach. She crumples on herself with a gasp, and you push her to the ground before moving past her. 

As you sprint as fast as you can, you can hear Skywalker scream, “Ahsoka!”

You move down the hallway as fast as you can. You have to get to the escape pods. The hanger is no longer an option. Either that, or find Obi-Wan. 

                                   ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

It doesn’t take you long to find him. You stand at the opposing side of the bridge, your breathing rapid as your headache tortures your temples. There was so much pain inside of you, falling off your robes and your skin like steam. You just wanted this all to end. You wanted to be free. At this point, you didn’t care if it was from the Dark Side, or the Light Side. 

And Obi-Wan knew that. 

As he finished analyzing you to make sure that, no, you wouldn’t hurt him, he took a tentative step forward. 

You looked terrible. Kenobi wanted to fix that. 

“Y/N,” he called calmly. “I am here to help you.”

You nodded your head, suddenly feeling very hot. “I know,” you confess. Your lip quivers under the weight of everything- the pain, the anger, the frustration, the conflict, the admiration for Kenobi. He looked so handsome now, even with the ever growing danger surrounding the both of you. “I need help,” you admit, voice breaking. “P-please help me.”

Obi-Wan walked quickly to you, sensing your weakness. He knew that at any moment, you were going to collapse both outside and in. Your turmoil had bubbled over, your Akrasia breaking whatever spirit you had left. He knew that you were too tired to feel darkness now. You had nothing left to fear, anger, hate, or suffer over. 

“Obi-Wan,” you said shakily. Your hands came up to rub your arms as if you were cold. “I love you.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi knew how selfish it was to replay the words over in his head at the moment. He just couldn’t help it. 

You had always been radiating. You had always been strong and worthy of admiration. When you struggled with your guilt, you struggled with your deeds, and that gave Obi-Wan hope. You had restored his faith all on your own, and he had already known that it was worthy of being expelled from the Order. But this was you. This was the woman he had grown to care for, like a mold to fit into, and had come to understand. The Jedi felt hungry for that. He felt hungry to know you. To analyze you. To help you. 

“I know,” the man said, sincerely and slowly. Against his better judgement, and the rocking of the falling ship, his right hand reached out to cup your face. Your skin was warm. Slightly sticky from the sweat, but Obi-Wan didn’t mind. “I know.”

His other hand opened up. His calloused and strong palm revealed itself to you, drawing your attention, and reminding you of the night that he had held your own inside. “Y/N, I need to know if you will follow me.” Obi-Wan paused, looking into your eyes. This was his confession. His begging, his pleading, his longing, was a confession for the love he felt for you. “I need you to come with me. You must leave this behind.” Then Obi-Wan swallowed. “Come with me. Please.”

The both of you were betraying your Orders. 

Your right hand came to meet his. Palms against palms, skin against skin, you connected. You could feel Obi-Wan’s need and frustration, and he could feel your longing and fear. 

“Yes,” you said, tiredly. “Yes. I’ll go with you.”

And, in that moment, you could see a life with Obi-Wan. 

He would not leave the Jedi. You knew that for sure. But you would go back to Scarif, where you were born. On a shore, near the crystal blue waters, Obi-Wan would build you a house. He could visit when he had the time, holding you in your sleep to protect you from the oncoming nightmares, and you could kiss the scars on his back. Every time he would leave, your heart would break, but he would always bring you something small to apologize. Perhaps you could start to draw again? Obi-Wan would’ve loved to draw with you. He could teach you how to meditate, and clear your thoughts. Somewhere deep in the ground, you’d bury your lightsabers and never touch them again. On top of that ground, Obi-Wan would hold your form tightly as his skin moved against your own. Everything would be like a song, and maybe one day, you could give him a new verse. You could give him a child. You could have peace. Not fake peace, but real peace. The kind of peace that follows the storm, and lingers til the end of your days. 

A choke escapes your throat. 

You feel your lungs quiver in weakness, then refuse to allow any more air in. Obi-Wan watches your face change from sorrowful, to shocked. Your mouth agape, eyes wide, you suddenly go very, very pale. He feels you still yourself upright, and he tells himself the blue blade in your chest isn’t real. 

Anakin pulls the lightsaber out of you. Your pupils dilate as the blood begins to drip from your nose thinly. You can’t think, you can’t even move. You cripple to the ground without choice. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi keeps you close to him as you die. He has nothing to say to either Anakin or yourself, and he knows there is nothing he can do to heal you. He watches you watch him, your vision fading in and out as you try to memorize every detail of Kenobi’s face for the last time. Your vision of a life with him becomes nothing more than a distant memory and a sad dream, and you don’t know when it ended. 

                                   ◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

Obi-Wan burned and buried you in secret. 

The Jedi had loved you, and he had known you enough to see that you deserved respect. You were not to be shipped off into the ground like any old Sith. You were to be cared for, and cradled until the end. Even in death, he wanted to help you.

And perhaps, simply that statement alone, was his greatest form of Akrasia. 

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*

Taglist: @omg-we-really-doo @chokemeanakin​ @typicalfanlife​

This is the version that was requested. Please let me know how you feel and if you noticed any errors! I wrote this while I was very tired, and I may want to tweak some things. 

[panickinganakin]

Ben  (Kylo Ren x Reader AU)

A/N Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it gives a little more insight to reader and gives her a little bit of spotlight. 

This is chapter 8 in an ongoing series! You can find all chapters on the masterlist here!

Warnings: soft kylo, nothing much else. 

Word Count: 2062

You sat at the table, forking through the mush. Once you received your lightsaber it was like the force was hitting you full throttle. You could see the past Jedi’s in your sleep now. Every night you had been waking up screaming. 

Kylo had been there to hold you and soothe you back down. He would run his hands through your hair, plant kisses all over your nervous body. He took care of you, he was gentle and kind. Nothing you would have expected upon meeting him. He continued to prove himself completely different than just Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order. The way he held your hands. The way he cleaned you off in the shower when you were too exhausted to even form words. You had become his and he had become yours. You bodies fit together like a puzzle piece, you knew you were training for something much bigger than yourself but all you cared about was Kylo.

Kylo sat down at the table beside you with a cup of coffee, “I want this to be over,” you groaned. 

“I wish I could tell you it got easier. And maybe, maybe it does. But, there is always a pull to the light.” he sat his hand on top of yours and sighed. “Listen, I have a mission today. I don’t know when I’ll return, but, you are in charge here. You have a meeting with the General’s today. Don’t take any shit from them, speak to them as if you were me.”

You stomach did flips, “You’re leaving? I thought I had to go on missions with you... I thought, why? Why do I have to stay here? I’ve never spoke in a meeting before.”

“You will do well, you’re very smart. You’ll know exactly what to say. The meeting will take place in the board of General’s room. Two hours, exactly. Don’t be late,” he stood up grabbing his mask from the table. 

His hand went under your chin and he tilted your face up, staring at it as if it to memorize it. He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours for a long moment. And as you became dizzy, always intoxicated by his touch, he whisked away in rush of black fabrics. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, making sure your robes were pressed neatly and your hair tied back in perfect order. You grabbed your light saber placing it in its seethe, leaving the quarters quickly. It felt empty and lonely without Kylo, he didn’t give you a time frame for his mission but you had hoped it wouldn’t be long. 

“Commander,” General Hux’s voice held a lot of resentment and his jaw was shut tightly as he spoke. 

“Hello General Hux, hope you are well today.” You decided to be kind, maybe you and Kylo could have a good cop bad cop routine.

His face twisted in confusion, “Er, fine, uh, thank you?”

You nodded and entered the room, sitting at the table. You sat, back straight, arms folded on top of the sleek black surface. The generals all looked confused when you sat but you acted as if this wasn’t your first time at this large, scary, table. 

“Let’s waste no time then, skipping all pleasantries. Commander Ren is away on a er- mission for Snoke. We don’t have much details but standing in today is Commander L/N, she will return to all meetings. Snoke and Ren have deemed her third in command,” General Hux sounded as if the words were being forced through him from a script. 

You felt your face turning red, they didn’t seem to excited to have you here. “Moving forward, the first order of business is the traitor Stormtrooper. We are searching for the droid still and thanks to you our new Commander, we have their location and will close in soon. Ren wishes to have him returned for questioning and reconditioning. The other option is to kill on site, we will now vote-”

“No, you won’t vote. Commander Ren wants him alive, you bring him back alive. That isn’t an optional task.”

“With all do respect, we’ve done this much longer than you and his life wagered against our own-”

“A human life is a lot to gamble. Your commander wants him alive, you will bring back FN 2187 alive. End of discussion, now you may move forward with discussions.”

“Uh- that was- all for today’s meeting,” the voice was coming from an older man with a hushed voice. 

You felt angry now, had they really called a meeting to vote against Kylo, but only because he had left? “I’m sorry, you mean to tell me, that the day the Commander leaves you hold a meeting to vote against him? If you think for one second the commander doesn’t have the intentions of the First Order in mind you are sorely mistaken. Our Supreme Leader and the Commander both will hear about this. If you even so much as think about wasting time again you will all be demoted.”

You stood up, pushing your chair back angrily, “Good day, gentlemen,” you huffed pressing out of the room. 

The audacity. 

You passed through the halls, full of anger. The nerve of this group. You couldn’t wait to tell Kylo all this about this. 

When you entered yours and Kylo’s living quarters there was a loud beeping coming from the center of the main room. You walked to the table, inspecting it curiously. You jumped back when a blue image flickered in front you.

A few seconds of distortion then the image was clear, Snoke was paying you a visit in the form of a hologram. “Supreme Leader, to what pleasure?” you bowed your head trying to keep your voice steady.

“General Hux spoke with me, you really a made a scene, my young one.”

You tried to flash a small smile but it was hard to ignore the bile that pressed up your throat when he called you his young one, “I do apologize supreme leader, er, sir. I just thought it unprofessional they wanted to go against the word of the commander.”

And you get to make that decision?” His voice had a snarky tone and you could feel your jaw popping from biting down so hard. 

“The commander made that decision. He wanted the trooper alive, I was only trying to keep order.”

“And what does a trooper’s life really matter to us?”

That was a good question, why did Kylo want him alive? “Well if he’s began to work with the rebellion, then he may be able to give us information on them we don’t have. He could also tell us what he has told them, that way we know what they know. We could use him to our advantage. It would be a loss, bringing back just his body. Wouldn’t you agree, sir?”

Even though he was just there in a hologram you could see his facial expressions well, he was thinking over your words. He tilted his head, “I suppose him coming back alive does have its advantages. After he re-positioned himself in his chair he spoke again, “Hux also said you would have them demoted. Do you think that power resides in you?” 

“No, sir. But, to be fair, the look on their faces told me they believed I did. I was only trying to do my part. Anyone who does not have the absolute best and correct intentions of The First Order in mind, don’t deserve a rank, do they?”

“You have spark, that is for sure. Good job on your first meeting. However don’t forget your place. Kylo sends well regards of your training, continue with this. Do not let us down, you show a great amount of potential. I expect you will see your duties through to the end.”

In an instant he was gone and you were alone. You sighed, your body immediately dropping down onto the couch. You groaned rubbing your temples, confused with your actions. At first you had been proud of the way you handled yourself at the meeting, but now you wondered if it was wrong? Snoke had sent mixed signals, did he respect your actions or think them foolish?

You wished Kylo was here, maybe he could explain what was happening, calm down the emotions raging inside of you. When would he be back?

You laid back on the couch, sleep threatening your eyes. When you closed your eyes you seen him, a dark blonde man, sitting in the sand. Your sand. Tatooine.

“Who are you?” you voice sounded distant from you body, it echoed on invisible walls. 

“I am Anakin Skywalker. I am Ben’s grandfather. You’re going the wrong way I can assure you of this. Heed my warning, the dark side offers you nothing but pain.”

“Who is Ben? How do you know? You’re just a jedi.”

“His name has not always been Kylo. I am more than you think. I use to be-”

“Darth Vader,” you choked, remembering when Kylo told you about his grandfather. “W-what do you want?”

“I want for you to take Ben, bring him back to the light. Back to his mother and father, back to the Jedi way.”

“No, I won’t do it... This is what he wants, I just want him to be happy..”

“Happy? You think Ben is happy murdering people? Ben is not who you think. Heed my warnings, young one. Retreat from the darkside.”

You sat up quickly, grasping the couch cushions. “Ben,” you croaked out.

“What did you say?”

You jumped, falling off the couch. Kylo was in front of you now, your head smacked against the floor.You thought he was still away, when did he return? You tried sitting up, failing from dizziness. “You’re back, I-”

“What did you say?” he asked against stepping closer. 

You closed your eyes, your voice so small you weren’t even sure if he could hear you, “Ben.”

Kylo wrapped his arms around you, lifting you as if you weighed nothing. He carried you to the bed and sat you down. When he pulled his mask off you could see the pain in his eyes. “You know. How?”

“I- I fell asleep... Anakin visited me, again. He won’t leave me alone.”

“He told you my name?”

You nodded. 

“What did he say?”

“Kylo, really...”

“What did he say to you?”

“He told me to bring you back home, to your mother... Back to ‘the Jedi way’.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him that you didn’t want it, and I would only do what you asked of me. Kylo, I’m really sorry.”

“Say it again, my name.”

“Kylo.”

“No, my name.”

You held your breath, feeling anxious. Why was this happening? If he had just stayed away at his mission, you could have avoided this. “Ben.”

He didn’t say anything else. So you pushed yourself up, crawling to the side of the bed where he sat. You pulled him down against your chest so you could stroke his hair, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s hard,” he finally spoke, “avoiding the pull to the light. I thought shedding my name was the last of my Jedi blood. Once I had rid myself of it, I would be clean. But, it’s always there, still apart of me. And now there’s you... You are the most good I’ve ever had in my life. It makes the pull so much stronger, so much harder to avoid.”

“Ben...” you spoke softly. You had meant to say Kylo but Ben flowed out so much more easily. “It’s okay, we just need to sleep.”

“We could leave together, we could do it. Just us. No first order, no rebellion, just the two of us. We can fly to a planet less inhabited. One that the order hasn’t touched yet.”

You listened as he spoke and felt terrified. It didn’t matter if you went somewhere the Order wasn’t, they would find you. They would kill you both. You wanted to be with Kylo, not die trying. Unless, you were willing to make that sacrifice? “Shhh, just lay back,” you cooed rubbing his head. 

All the nights he had spent luring you into sleep, it was his turn to sleep now. You laid awake for hours, listening to his soft patterned breathing. You thought about leaving with him, running away. How long could the two of you survive? It wouldn’t take long for Snoke and the order to find you, for the Order to kill you both. 

Could you two do it? Start your own empire?

tag list: @bensoloslover​ @crockgoblin69​ @stylishbauers​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @shesakillerkween​ @napping-is-my-favorite​ @lucifers--lil--angel​

[certifiedskywalker]

Don’t Imagine Ben Solo - Revisited

In honor of TROS and Ben Solo, I decided to visit the first piece of writing that went big on my blog. You can click HERE to read the original piece I did.

This piece follows from the start of The Last Jedi to the end of The Rise of Skywalker ((TROS spoilers are under the cut))

Don’t imagine the hope in Ben Solo’s heart when he sees Rey through the Force.

Don’t imagine how to him, Rey reminds him of the family he left behind; the family that Kylo Ren kept him from.

Don’t imagine how, every night, Ben Solo is plagued by the ghosts of those he hurt. 

Don’t imagine the screams, the cries, the faces of those he couldn’t save; those that Kylo Ren killed in his search for some inner peace in the darkness.

Don’t imagine the conflict that bubbles up in Ben’s chest some nights when he fights sleep. Conflict is all he knows, aside from the voices in his head. 

Don’t imagine how he hears a voice that sounds familiar.

Don’t imagine how Ben struggles to place it. It’s not his father, not his mother, or his uncle; although it almost sounds like Luke’s. 

Don’t imagine how Ben Solo sees Anakin Skywalker but does not know who the man is. He does not recognize the true face of his grandfather.

Don’t imagine Anakin reaching out to Ben, telling him to take his hand and come back to the Light with him.

Don’t imagine that Ben’s heart, still in the hands of the Darkness, is Kylo Ren’s heart too.

Don’t imagine how Kylo, how Ben, sees Anakin and thinks about Rey. Maybe, if he gives her his hand, he won’t be alone in the Darkness.

Don’t imagine, don’t you dare think about how lonely Ben Solo is trapped in Kylo Ren’s mask. 

Don’t imagine the hope that grips Ben like a vice as he slays Supreme Leader Snoke. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not too late for him after all.

Don’t imagine the twinge of guilt Ben feels as Kylo Ren’s thirst for power overwhelms the goodness in his soul.

Don’t imagine, try not to see the similarities extended hand as Kylo Ren reaches out to Rey; little does Kylo Ren know, but he is sealing Ben’s fate.

Don’t imagine that the “please” that escapes his lips comes from some lost part of Ben Solo yearning to no longer be alone.

Don’t imagine the fear, the anger that devours him when Rey refuses.

Don’t imagine how that anger melds Kylo Ren and Ben Solo together to the point where the Fallen Jedi doesn’t know where his good heart begins and the Darkness ends.

Don’t imagine how lost Ben Solo feels, how, for a moment, when he sees his Uncle’s face, he succumbs to the Darkness. 

Don’t imagine how Ben Solo goes quiet during the duel with his former Master. 

Don’t imagine how everything he told himself, the hope of seeing his family again, how it died as his body fought against his Uncle.

Don’t imagine the strange sort of relief that floods through him when Luke’s Force projection fades away.

Don’t imagine the moments later when he feels his Uncle’s life Force dwindle.

Don’t imagine the panic in his chest at the thought of seeing his mother.

Don’t imagine the regret, pain, and anger twisting in his gut as the Millennium Falcon flies off to safety. He doesn’t know if he wants to go with them or shot out of the sky; he does know, but he won’t ever admit it.

Don’t imagine how he waits, after the battle of Crait, for any sign of the Resistance; Ben Solo couldn’t live without them. He thinks it’s the fight against them that keeps him alive.

Don’t imagine the day Ben hears that Palpatine’s voice in his head, ringing loud and true; the day he hears that the Sith is still alive.

Don’t imagine how Ben Solo screams to stop himself, to stop Kylo Ren from trying to find him. Ben Solo remembers what his mother had told him about the leader of the Empire; he remembers what his Uncle had told him about Darth Vader’s Master.

Don’t imagine how desperate Ben Solo is to not feel alone.

Don’t imagine how he fights and kills just to find a way to the Dark Lord of the Sith. He had a plan to get Rey on his side, to never feel alone again, but he needs to dive headfirst into the Dark to do it.

Don’t imagine the resounding loneliness that he created for himself, how it starts to eat him alive the more he pushes away. 

Don’t imagine how quickly he takes the deal Palpatine offers him. He only takes it in the hopes of showing the galaxy that he is not as evil as he seems; or as evil as he believes himself to be.

Don’t imagine how the truth of Rey’s lineage gives him hope. Because how can something so good come out of something so bad?

Don’t imagine how, each time he sees Rey through the Force, a piece of Kylo Ren is chipped away because the girl he has spent his time chasing knows just how to wear him down. He knows that it is because his mother is training her.

Don’t imagine how Ben can almost feel the Light on his skin again.

Don’t imagine how his heart aches when Rey denies his hand once more. 

Don’t imagine how he feels more and more alone with each passing hour.

Don’t imagine how hard Ben Solo tries to break free only to be pushed back by the threat of something darker, more sinister than anything before.

Don’t imagine all of the old ghosts he feels reaching out for Ben as he walks along the ruins of the Death Star.

Don’t imagine how he recalls his dream and that man, with the familiar voice, reaching out to him. Maybe Ben knew him somehow from his Uncle’s stories.

Don’t imagine how, with each strike of her saber, Rey chipped away at Kylo Ren’s armor, at his mask, leaving Ben’s soul exposed.

Don’t imagine how in the moment when Kylo was about to end it all, killing Rey and the last bit of hope, Ben opened himself up to the Force long enough for an attack.

Don’t imagine how the blow that came was not the attack he was expecting.

Don’t imagine how Ben felt Leia’s hand against his cheek as she gave herself to the Force; she simply wanted to see him again.

Don’t imagine how Ben barely felt Kylo Ren’s lightsaber plunge into his gut because the pain in his heart was so, far greater than anything else. 

Don’t imagine the feeling of safety he felt as Rey gave him a part of her life Force; the first act of kindness he had felt in years.

Don’t imagine how when Rey told him that she wanted to take Ben’s hand, how he realized that pushing away his family and falling into fear rather than destiny was his biggest mistake. 

Don’t imagine that, as Ben watches Rey fly off, he feels more lost than ever. The only thing he knows in that moment is that he wants to see his mother but he can’t.

Don’t imagine that Ben wishes so hard to see her that he ends up conjuring up another past ghost: his father.

Don’t imagine how the conflict within his chest boils over the moment he looks into the eyes of his father; it is like he is suddenly back on the bridge inside Starkiller. 

Don’t imagine how Ben wants to tell Han that he loves him; but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is “Dad”. 

Don’t imagine how Han understands and how, after years, he finally can see his son, his Ben Solo standing strong before him. 

Don’t imagine how, as he throws his red saber into the sea, Ben Solo washes his mind free from the clutches of Kylo Ren and the Darkness that followed him.

Don’t imagine how easily Ben climbs the ruins of the Death Star with a renewed sense of strength. The piece of life Force Rey had given him and reinforced the Light’s claim to his body and soul; rebuilt himself for good. 

Don’t imagine how as he flies off to Exogol, he feels a sense of warmth wrap around him and two blue, celestial hands moving to guide his way to the Sith homeworld.

Don’t imagine the whisper Ben Solo heard as he flew towards his destiny, towards his fate: “You will bring a balance to the Force. You will finish what I started.”

Don’t imagine Ben listening to the voice of Anakin Skywalker and knowing that he was hearing his grandfather. 

Don’t imagine how quickly Ben ran to Rey with the Force and his ancestors at his back. There was something more to fight for now.

Don’t imagine how, with every blaster bolt fired and slashing strike, Ben Solo became more and more attuned with the Force and Jedi of the past. 

Don’t imagine how Ben fights Palpatine’s draining of his life Force; he fights it for Rey, for those fighting in the skies above.

Don’t imagine how when Palpatine calls him the last Skywalker, Ben feels a twinge of pride before being hurled down under the planet’s surface. He was as his Uncle and mother were before him; a Skywalker and strong.

Don’t imagine how the voices of Jedi past call out to him as he falls, how they tell him to reach out and climb. The last Skywalker must rise.

Don’t imagine the harrowing climb up.

Don’t imagine the ache in Ben’s chest when he sees the Sith throne destroyed and Rey’s limb body before it.

Don’t imagine how Anakin’s words echoed in Ben’s head: “You will finish what I started.”

Don’t imagine how Ben knows what that means now, what the truly means. Ben knows that his family story must end, but it can not end with him; it needed to be better this time.

Don’t imagine how Ben takes Rey into his arms like a gentle thing.

Don’t imagine how tight he hugs her; the first hug he had given in years.

Don’t imagine that the last time Ben hugged someone, it was his mother the day he left with his Uncle. 

Don’t imagine how that memory brings tears to his eyes.

Don’t imagine how, without needing to hear the ghosts of Jedi past, Ben knows what he must do.

Don’t imagine Ben Solo giving back that life Force Rey gave him.

Don’t imagine the relief Ben felt when Rey opened her eyes and gasped.

Don’t imagine the guilt on Ben’s shoulders as he looked into Rey’s eyes. He had killed ruthlessly for so long, ignored the life he could have had.

Don’t imagine how Rey kissed him.

Don’t imagine how that kiss reminded him of all his missed chances and worst mistakes.

Don’t imagine the bittersweet smile that spread along his lips.

Don’t imagine the sense of peace that fell over Ben Solo in his last moments.

Don’t imagine that the voices in his head finally quieted and that the last bits of Darkness fled from his soul.

Don’t imagine Ben falling back into the light to rise with the Force for the last time.

Don’t imagine how things could have turned out differently.

Don’t imagine, don’t think about the life Ben Solo could have lived if things had unfolded in any other way.

Don’t imagine it, for Ben Solo is at peace. And that is enough.

[kikkieabby]

Ahsoka journey to the Dark side: Chapter 1-The beginning!

Kikkie: I think Anakin and Ahsoka are an awesome pairing of the Star Wars series! Or at least the fan-based. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this dark tale of Ashoka slowly decending into the darkness. See how hard she tries to keep her sanity and loyality to herself and the rebels, while trying to please the man who use to be her master.

Rated M for dark theme! Not NSFW, but this shit is dark. Enjoy!

In a black painted room lies a woman sitting at a wooden desk. In her hand was a tape recorder. She presses the red button that its ON button, she then puts it on the desk then started to speak.

"This is my fault, I did this to myself when I let that man bite me and inject the darkness of the world into me. Even if it was a small douse it grew inside me until it became part of my soul, my force then my mind. I tried so hard to keep it out but as time went on it just became stronger and stronger till I just gave in. And now I stand here before you, the man who has been with me since the very beginning. But I am not the same girl you met that day. I'm different and I'm what you call…oh, I don't know evil! Well, a long story short I am no longer a Jedi or a rebel but a comrade amongst on the dark side and let me tell you, it feels good! At first, I was scared of joining the dark side but now I feel that it's the best choice I ever made. And the best part is I am pregnant! Who is the father you asked? No other than Darth Vader of course! And it is an honor to have his children, twins! I am 4 months pregnant and their power is strong in me. But I am going too far into the story. I should start from the beginning. After all, this is my recorded Dairy. So where do I begin, you all know how I left the Jedi and how I became a rebel…Hmm…"

The woman runs her fingertips on the wood of the desk and started to think. Then it hit her.

"Oh yes, first off my name is Ashoka Tano, although it may be known as Ashoka Skywalker I was known as Tano at the beginning of my story so stay with me. After spending at least, I don't know more than 10 years with the rebellions. One day I received a called to meet with a group that has been showing a lot of improvement in their jobs that succeed that of the trained rebel so I decided to go meet them. they were a nice group of people and they seem to be able to care for themselves. I'd stayed with them for a couple of weeks. I got to know them well, even became friends with this youngling named Ezra. He wants to become a Jedi so badly that I agreed to help him. On the third week I was with them, something happened. One night, out of blue and darkness of space, Vader was on the ship and when we realized he was close, it was too late. Almost everyone was either unconscious or near death when we fought him. I held my own pretty well, but, it wasn't enough.

(Flashback)

"Ezra Bridger!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I watched the man in black use the dark force almost chop Ezra head off with his own Lightsaber. The kid was trying his hardest to keep the blade away from his neck but his efforts seem useless. I looked around the room and saw everyone on the ground, I didn't know if they were dead or was knocked out but I did know one thing, I had to stop Vader before he killed Ezra. So I threw my body at the man to land a strike but it was useless for he just pushed me to the ground. I hit the ground with my head first, the pain made me drop my lightsaber. When I got my baring, I could see Vader looking straight at me. He stops his control on Ezra's hand but throws his body to the ground. His small body slides over to me. He tries to get back on his feet but his body wouldn't allow it. As the man I use to call master walks towards us, Ezra eye's widen in fear as he tries his damndest to stand up. Only to fall to the ground hard.

Have you ever…no, here's a better way to describe this. Have you ever gotten in trouble as a child to the point your parents are staring down at you? And you can't tell if their mad or what they were going to do? But you knew it was something bad, and the fear of not knowing just made you even more scared? That's how I felt when Vader was staring down at us. An inch away from our bodies, glaring down at us with those red eyes that hid my master.

"Master don't do this!" I begged the man who used to be my master when we were in the Jedi order. Vader stared at me for a few seconds before raising his hand, pressing it against my head, he moves me aside so that he could get to Ezra but I stood my ground.

"NO!" I shouted at him. The hand that was used to move me slapped me across my face, making me fall to the ground. He then walks over me to get to Ezra. I could see the young boy stare at the man with fear in his eyes. I gathered all my strength and ran over to Ezra and then tackled the boy into a hug like a shield so that I could shield the boy from him. Vader stops walking towards us when he saw me protecting the boy. For a second, I could have heard him curse something before grabbing my shoulder. Yanking me from Ezra body, making me slide across the room with the help of the blood on the ground. I could hear him gripping Ezra by the neck in hopes of choking him. When my head gently taps the wall, I sat up and shouted:

"Please, Anakin I'm begging you don't hurt him. I'll do anything you want just please leave him be." I begged him and I think my words got to him because I saw him looking at me while still holding Ezra by the neck. Dropping the boy, both his hands move to his helmet, steam like gas comes out of it revealing his face. Everything looked the same except for his right eye that seemed to have another scar to match his other eye, besides that everything looked okay. He didn't look too happy though, in fact, he looked as pissed as that time he though Obi-wan was killed.

"Ahsoka…"He growled at me before approaching me. I got up to my knees then slowly backed away from him until I was up against a wall. Which wasn't that far since I slide to it. When he was in front of me, he takes a knee in front of me. Extending his hand, he gently strokes my already bruised cheek I got from fighting empire clones. Even though his gloves, I could feel soft skin touching me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling until I felt his lips press against my ear. Making me open my eyes to see his black armor an inch away from my face.

"I want you," Anakin told me. I could feel my face turn red as his hand makes it way down to my pants than try to pull them down. I stopped him with both of my hands, forcing that large hand of his to stop.

"W-W-What are you doing!?" I shouted at him.

"What, you said you would do anything for me," Anakin whispered into my ear. He then removes himself and stares at me with a smirk on his face. I missed that smile, but I didn't want to see it like this.

"I didn't expect this," I told him, a weird response I know. But I didn't have anything else to say.

"Oh don't tell me you're still a virgin?" Anakin asked me in a joking manner. I looked away blushing but I could hear him laughing a little at me. I then felt my pants (or tights) get ripped off my legs then my top, leaving only my panties on. Both of my arms went to my breast and covered them. Anakin hands force them down to my hips, he then pulls me to the ground to my knees. My eyes were still closed because I knew what he was going to do to me and worse I knew Ezra was staring at me. My eye was shut closed till I heard a zipping noise, this made me open my eyes to see a monster in front of my face.

"Uhh…" I stutter, this was the first time I saw a penis, or what looked to be a toddler's arm! I had no idea what I was looking at, 8-9 inches long and 3 sizes too big! Anakin gently grabs one of my Lukkes then pulls my face closer to his manhood to the point it was rubbing against my lips.

"Suck it Ashoka or watch your little friend choke to death," Anakin orders me. My eyes move over to Ezra, who was still watching me but looked like he needed medical attention quickly and so did everyone else. I had no choice, I did what he wanted me to do. I opened mouth then slowly took his manhood into it. I could feel his veins start to twitch in my mouth. At that point I didn't know what to do, the only thing that clicked in my mind was to try to lick where his pulse was twitching and so I did. Anakin sigh as he watches me try my hardest to blow him but was doing terrible, so he took his manhood out my mouth, only for him to then grabbed my headtail. He hoists my body up so that his and my face were on the same level. He smirks at me.

"So, are you ready for the big end?" Anakin asked me. I gulped but didn't answer.

"A…sho…ka…sto..plea…" Ezra muttered my name through the pain he was feeling. I looked over at him and saw blood coming out the end tips of his mouth, he was bleeding on the inside. I need to get him help quickly. I looked back at Anakin than nod my head. Anakin smiles before he threw my body against the wall then pulled my panties down below my knees. I pressed my head against the wall then closed my eyes and waited for something painful to enter me. I could feel his fingertips on my lips as he spreads them apart, showing off my hole. The place all that I never thought to show anyone in my life.

"Just do it already…" I begged him but my words fell on deaf ears. Instead of feeling his manhood enter me I felt his tongue touch my clit instead.

"Wha-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I shouted at him and again it fell on deaf ear. His tongue felt wet and warm against my clit and for some weird reason I couldn't help but moan when he taste my pussy for the first time.

"Mmmm Master…" I moaned, a few seconds I realized what had come out of my mouth. Both of my eyes had widened from fear.

"What the hell did I just say?" I thought. "Am I really enjoying this?"

"Yes, you are," Anakin whispered into my ear. I looked over my shoulders and saw his face so close up to mine I could feel his breath on my lips. He gently leans is lips onto mine, pressing them against mine, kissing me. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, it was so long, wet and practically licking every part of the inside of my mouth. When we separated I could feel his manhood pressing up against my womanhood. Beckoning to enter me, my force he's a beast!

"Master…Anakin…please stop." I moaned but he did not listen to me, instead, he puts it in. making me lose a breath of air. It was long and hard and it was just swarming inside me till it was fully in me, the feeling intense. My walls begin to twitch as he moves in and out of me without any mercy, I knew he was enjoying this, taking my virginity away slowly. Making my friend watch from the sidelines. I press my head against the wall and was taking deep breathes, hoping I could lose air in my head and faint but it didn't work because he grabbed my chin and forcefully kissed me and possibly blew air into my lungs. When we separated I begin to beg:

"Please stop, you had enough!" I shouted at him, but I think I made him mad because he begins to move his hips faster making his length hitting a certain spot inside me that made my head feel funny and my legs feel like jelly. The friction of his hips kept moving to the point my hips started to move with his. His gloves were piercing my skin and my eyes were almost in the back of my head.

"Can you feel it, Ashoka!?" He moaned loudly into my ear. My mind was slowly descending into an unknown world I couldn't even comprehend. A world I didn't know that would one day eat me alive. A world that I would allow to take over me and completely destroy me. But for now, I was just visiting that world as I listen to his voice whispering poison in my ear.

"I'm close Ashoka! I'm going to cum!" He whispered. It was poison, I knew what was going to happen if he came. To carry his child! Wait, can a human and togruta have kids? No…yes…maybe? No, I didn't want to know! Please! Force protect me, please protect me!

"NO!" I begged but that didn't stop him, he kept thrusting and thrust until he came deep inside me. His cum was warm and it was seeping into my womb, I could feel his seeds swimming inside of me. Searching for an egg to fertilize and create life inside me.

It was weird, out of all the battles I fought in my life, this must have been the toughest. Sadly it might have been the easiest on my journey to the dark side.

My body slides down to the ground as my head pressed against the metal frame of the wall. With little strength, I looked over my shoulder and saw Ezra crying. I never felt so horrible then I did at that very second. To make him watch, to make him suffer and to feel weak. I wanted to cry myself, but I didn't. I needed to be strong for him. Sadly, the pain didn't stop.

"Come snips, we're going home," Anakin spoke as he offers a hand to me. I turn my attention to him, I saw that hand reaching to me, offering the same comfort he did as I was younger. I turned my head to the side and started to cry, only to have that hand latch on my shoulder and dragged my limp body across the floor. I was too weak to fight him at this point, all I did was allow him to drag me away.

Kikkie: Hope you enjoyed this! Chapter 2 will be up soon!

[inkognito97]

Siren obiwan does not feel ready to deal with the bullshit known as darth maul so he sings and gets him to stay still and behave until they lock him in a force proof cell on coruscant. Ironically when obiwan and quigon travel to naboo to help reclaim it they face sidious and kill him by obiwan drowning him with his body being eaten by the fishes.

This whole mission had been a complete disaster, beginning with the disagreement between him and Qui-Gon and ending with his humiliation in front of the whole Council, just because of a former slave boy the long haired Jedi thought, was the Chosen One. And even after Obi-Wan had been man enough to confront the stubborn man he called Master, Qui-Gon had made no real move to apologize to him. He may have said that he, Obi-Wan, was a better Jedi and a wiser man, but there had been no apology, none whatsoever. It was frustrating beyond measure and more than once had Obi-Wan been tempted to sing to either bring his Master back to some sense or to get rid of a noisy and way too loud boy with the name Anakin Skywalker. It was not like he particularly hated the boy, he was just too loud for Obi-Wan’s liking. 

But of course, just when Obi-Wan decided that things could not go any worse, he was promptly proven wrong. Either the Force truly hated him, or it was some kind of trial that he needed to pass. He desperately hoped it was the latter, because he was not sure if he could deal with his life, were the Force to hate him too. 

Be that as it may, knowing the true reason behind his misery, would not change anything at the fact that there was a black and red skinned Zabrak standing right before them, with a doubled-bladed red lightsaber activated and in an offensive position. The Sith, Obi-Wan was pretty sure that their opponent was one, clearly wanted to fight and something told Obi-Wan that this was not going to end pretty.

“We’ll face him together,” Qui-Gon’s deep baritone voice cut through his thoughts.

Obi-Wan barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. He was not stupid enough to run forward in order to engage the Sith completely on his own. He had to be a complete moron to even consider this idea. Still, there was something at the edge of his awareness, it suspiciously felt like the Force and it was causing him a very bad feeling. One of them, if not both of them, would not survive this duel, he was certain of it. 

Spontaneously deciding that he had absolutely no desire to deal with this right now, Obi-Wan deactivated his blade and left his battle stance.

“Padawan,” Qui-Gon’s voice sounded both worried and perplexed. Evil yellow eyes were watching him like a predator its prey. It was clear to the ginger haired siren, that he had just made himself into a living target, lovely.

The Padawan took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let his siren magic wash through him. His voice formed words in the special language of siren that he had been taught by Satine’s father personally and a sweet melody rang through the room. The magic was only directed at one being and the effect was immediate. Ugly yellow eyes blinked a few times, trying to stay open and the Zabrak was swaying where he stood. A deactivated red lightsaber clattered loudly to the metal ground, ruining the lovely tone for a couple of seconds, but not breaking the magic.

When the last note sounded, Obi-Wan opened his eyes again, only to be faced with a certain Zabrak in a trance like state. He would not be moving unless Obi-Wan told him to and therefore he was completely harmless now, ready to be taken into custody.

“I trust you can deal with the rest,” the ginger haired siren did not wait for an answer, instead he turned around, leaving his robe where it rested on the floor, and left a shocked Qui-Gon Jinn behind. 

The Council arrived sooner than expected and in a larger number than Obi-Wan had guessed. Darth Maul, that was the Zabrak’s name, had been taken into custody and would be brought into a Force proof cell in the deepest parts of the Jedi temple on Coruscant. There, he would undoubtedly be asked - and perhaps even tortured, depending on the Jedi, who would do the asking - for information on the Sith and the dark side. Obi-Wan did not care. He had done his share, besides, he had not been invited to the meeting anyway. Qui-Gon had been requested and so had been Anakin Skywalker. It was clear that they would be discussing his future as well, but again, Obi-Wan did not care. If all went wrong, he could still return to his wife and his daughter on Mandalore. He knew that he would always have a home there, with people that would welcome him with open arms. It was nice to know and it was als nice that he did not have to worry about what would be happening to him, should he not be allowed to face his trials.

“Oh my, what have we here? A Jedi all on his own,” the rather warm voice still sent shivers down Obi-Wan’s spine. He forced himself to turn around to greet the newcomer and found himself face to face with the newly elected Chancellor of the Republic.

Good manners and protocol would have demanded Obi-Wan to rise from his sitting position, but he needed to feel the cool water, even though he barely had his feet in the clear blue liquid. 

“Chancellor,” he greeted, his tone neutral. He could not properly name it, but there was something clearly wrong with the man before him. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Oh my dear boy,” he said in his slimy voice, there was a mad gleam in his eyes that the ginger haired Padawan was not able to place. “I just came here to congratulate you on your victory over this monster. Of course I also wanted to meet the Jedi, who saved Naboo. After all, I need to properly thank you.”

“I am very honored, Chancellor.”

“I’m sure you are,” he hummed in agreement. “Tell me, dear boy, where is your Master? I would like to congratulate him as well.”

“I fear that he is currently attending an important meeting with the Council,” he explained.

“And you were not invited,” the older man raised an eyebrow. “I would have thought that the savior of Naboo would be allowed to attend such a mission.”

Was it just him, or was the Chancellor trying to influence him? “I am just a mere Padawan Chancellor,” he said carefully, fully aware that he was treading dangerous waters.

He could feel the quickly approaching form of Qui-Gon Jinn. It was clear that the long haired man was deeply worried by something. Obi-Wan furrowed his brows. What could have distresses his (former?) Master like this.

“Nonsense, a mere Padawan could never have defeated a trained Sith.” Wisely, Obi-Wan decided not to comment on the fact, that it hadn’t been revealed to anyone yet, that the Zabrak was a Sith. The fact that the Chancellor knew, was bad enough.

“I am glad you think so,” what else was he too say? It did not matter anyway, because the older male just kept on talking, Obi-Wan ignored him for the most part however.

Qui-Gon chose exactly this moment, to step into the garden. Immediately Obi-Wan’s gaze connected with the midnight blue ones of his Master. There was panic in them, panic and relief upon seeing him.

“Obi-Wan,” came over the bond and the Padawan had to stop himself from flinching at the volume and the fear, “The Chancellor is one of the remaining Sith Lords.”

Obi-Wan reacted without thinking, following his instincts and the will of the Force. He grabbed the Chancellor’s ankle and slipped into the water with him, deep down and while he could transform into a siren what could breath underwater, the Sith could not. And now it became clear that Palpatine was indeed a Sith Lord. His eyes had turned yellow, like the Zabrak’s, and the Force around him darkened. He began to struggle, even using the Force, but Obi-Wan was in his element and he was not alone. Countless fish of different sizes and colors arrived at his call and after the Sith had tried to draw his last breath - of course he had just gotten water into his lung - they took care of what remained of the body.

The ginger haired male did not wait to see, he swam back to the surface, where Qui-Gon was desperately waiting. 

“Obi-Wan!”, without allowing him to get down, the long haired man reached out and hugged the wet male close to his chest. Surprised, Obi-Wan returned the hug. “Thank the Force you are save.”

A small smile appeared on the younger male’s features and he hid his face in his Master’s neck. Apparently the Force did not hate him after all and neither did Qui-Gon. Still, something dark and foreboding remained in the galaxy, but for now, Obi-Wan was just glad to have his beloved Master back…

[inkognito97]

Xanatos II

Sequel to Xanatos

Summary:  “Who does he think he is?” Xanatos hissed. “I know,” Feemor replied. “I can’t believe he just… threw him away like this, after all they have been through.” The raven haired boy hummed and gently closed the eyes of the Jedi who was pressed between them. Sometimes Obi-Wan would forget to close them, especially during sleep. “And for a boy who MIGHT be Chosen One,” he added heatedly. “Even if that boy is the Chosen One, it does not give him the right.” The blonde Knight sighed, “No wonder poor Obi is so rattled.” Xanatos hummed, “Do you think he will be alright?” Feemor shrugged, “I don’t know.”

When Xanatos had heard that his Padawan brother was back on Coruscant, he was eager to see him again. When said Padawan knocked on his door in the middle of the night however – Obi-Wan had never really been bothered with the concept of night and day, his world was always dark after all – he was not so happy and eager anymore. Unseeing blue-green eyes were red and there were tear stains on his cheeks. Looks were also something the ginger haired male could not be overly bothered with, most of the time it were his Padawan brothers or Qui-Gon himself, who told him what to wear to which occasion or how to look. But looks greatly bothered Xanatos, especially when his usually happy and energetic little Padawan brother looked as if he had been through hell and back.

He had ushered the distraught Padawan into his small quarter as soon as the first shock had gone. He then told his young visitor to hang his robe on the rack and then go into the bedroom. Obi-Wan had often been here and he would find his way even without the use of the Force and his other senses, so Xanatos was not worried about it. Instead he was able to locate his comlink and he contacted Feemor, Obi-Wan would undoubtedly need all the love and care he could get. Thankfully the blonde Knight picked up after the second ring and even though he was still groggy from sleep, he immediately agreed to come as fast as possible when Xanatos told him about Obi-Wan. Only a few minutes later, Fee arrived and the two Knights walked into Xanatos’ bedroom, where Obi-Wan was already waiting.

The ginger haired man lay curled on his side and he was hugging one of the pillows close to his chest. His eyes were open and silent tears ran down his cheeks. The two Knights wasted not another moment and joined the younger male on the bed, Xanatos in front of him and Feemor behind. Gratefully the Padawan cuddled into his brother’s chest and hid his face there while Feemor held the two younger males in his arms. The three Jedi just stayed there, while the one in the middle sobbed silently. Only once he had calmed down, did the raven haired man take the initiative.

“Hey there,” with his thumb he wiped away the tear stains from the other’s cheek.

“Do you want to talk about it?” the blonde Knight asked. It hurt him to see his youngest brother like this, especially since he only remembered Obi-Wan happy, unless he was injured that is. The ginger haired Padawan had even been happy when they had first met during a shared mission. Needless to say, they immediately had taken a liking to each other, especially since the Padawan could easily rival the other’s intellect.

“I don’t know,” was mumbled into a strong chest.

Feemor and Xanatos exchanged a worried glance. “Did… did something happen during your last mission?” Xanatos probed.

The younger male shrugged. “Master picked up a few strays again…”

“Well, that’s nothing new,” Feemor replied sarcastically. All three were very much aware of their Master’s odd quirks, especially when it came to ‘pathetic and helpless’ life forms. It only became bad when those life forms turned out to be very dangerous. “Did his latest stray hurt you?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. He shifted a bit and grabbed the front of Xanatos’ dark robes just a little tighter. “No.” There was a pause and the two older Jedi waited patiently. They knew that their distressed companion was thinking on how to rephrase his thoughts so that they would understand. “One of his strays…” he cleared his throat, “it’s a boy, about nine or ten years old. Master believes him to be the Chosen One.”

Xanatos’ brows furrowed and Feemor tightened his grip on his brothers. They had both noticed the way Obi-Wan refused to say Qui-Gon’s name and they had both heard the undertone in the Padawan’s voice.

“Is he?” the eldest eventually asked.

“I don’t know… no one does. But – and the Council agrees with me – I think he is dangerous. Master brought him here to be tested… the Council does not want him to be trained.”

“Well, he is too old, isn’t he?”

“That and Qui-Gon brought him here,” Feemor added.

The ginger haired male nodded and sniffed, “Master was not pleased.”

“I wonder why…” Xanatos remarked sarcastically, he had a bad premonition where this was heading.

“He… he said… in front of the Council,” talking was obviously getting harder and the tears had started to flow again, “that he would take Anakin as his Padawan learner and… and when they said that he already had one… he said that… that I should undergo my trials.” The sobbing had started again, not that either of the two older males blamed it. They now understood what was going on with their little brother and a very unjedi like emotion ran through them, anger.

“Shh, it’s alright brother, we are here.” Xanatos tried to soothe his distressed guest as good as possible, knowing full well that it would do not much good.

“Just stay… please,” the ginger haired male managed to wheeze out between his sobbing.

“Of course we will,” Feemor promised and the raven haired Jedi nodded. They cuddled closer on the large bed, as close as physical possible. Xanatos was not at all bothered by the wet spot on his clothes, as long as his brother would know that they would not let go of him. Little Obi-Wan was part of their family, despite his quirks and despite his handicap.

If Xanatos was completely honest with himself, then he had to admit that Obi-Wan was actually the best of the three of them, needless to say he was better than Qui-Gon, especially when the man pulled a stunt like this. Obi-Wan was wiser than the four of them, highly intelligent and he had a unique grasp of the Force that could not easily be disrupted. He also was very talented with a lightsaber, even though Fee and he sometimes thought that Ataru was not the ideal fighting style for him.

With combined powers, the two Knights sent their brother into the lands of dreams, with the younger male’s consent of course. He needed his sleep, especially after such a stressful day. That and it gave the two older males an opportunity to talk without disturbing their ginger haired brother even more.

“Who does he think he is?” Xanatos hissed.

“I know,” Feemor replied. “I can’t believe he just… threw him away like this, after all they have been through.”

The raven haired boy hummed and gently closed the eyes of the Jedi who was pressed between them. Sometimes Obi-Wan would forget to close them, especially during sleep.

“And for a boy who MIGHT be Chosen One,” he added heatedly.

“Even if that boy is the Chosen One, it does not give him the right.” The blonde Knight sighed, “No wonder poor Obi is so rattled.”

Xanatos hummed, “Do you think he will be alright?”

Feemor shrugged, “I don’t know.”

A moment of silence passed between the two Jedi. “Will you stay tonight Fee?”

“Yes… if you don’t mind of course.”

The younger Knight slightly shook his head, “No, quite the opposite actually. I always enjoyed the nights just the three of us spent together.”

A small smile appeared on the older one’s features. “I did too Xani. I did too.”

“Besides, Obi needs BOTH of us now,” the other male could only nod in agreement.

When morning arrived, the two Knights did everything in their power to make their little brother feel better than the previous night. It actually worked, the ginger haired male laughed and joked almost carefree with his older companions, but when Qui-Gon Jinn rang the door chime around midday, all the previous joy and serenity had vanished into oblivion.

One single glance at the Padawan told Xanatos everything he needed to know. If things could go his way, then the raven haired boy would have given the stubborn gundark a part of his mind, but he knew that Obi-Wan would not want that, besides, it would probably only make matters a lot worse than they already were. He didn’t want that for Obi-Wan, which is why he opened the door in the first place.

“Xanatos,” Qui-Gon greeted friendly, completely ignoring the other’s foul mood, when he engulfed the raven haired Knight in a tight hug.

“Master,” Xanatos retorted automatically.

“Tell me, are you in possession of a Padawan learner? I seem to have misplaced mine,” the older male joked.

“Did you,” the Knight could not believe how someone could be so dense.

Apparently the Master had finally figured out that something was not right. There was worry in his eyes, when he asked, “Is something amiss?”

“No,” he replied sarcastically, “everything is fine.” He did not wait for another reply, but walked back into his living room, where his two most favorite people in the galaxy were sitting. Or rather, Fee was sitting on the red couch – a present Xanatos had gotten from one of the damsels in distress he had saved – and Obi was lying on it, with his head resting in the blonde Knight’s lap. The picture immediately softened Xanatos’ foul mood, even though he could feel Qui-Gon coming up right behind him. At least the Master had remembered to close the front door.

“There you are,” the tall male exclaimed happily and he walked forwards, until he was standing near the other end of the couch.

“Master,” Obi-Wan’s voice was rid of all emotions and Feemor did say nothing at all.

The Master’s brow furrowed, “What is the matter with all of you?” He looked his previous students deep in the eyes. He would have done the same with Obi-Wan, hadn’t he known that it would do him no good at all.

Xanatos outright refused to answer, Feemor just shrugged and Obi-Wan mentally sighed, before he replied with a quiet, “Nothing.”

“This is not ‘nothing’,” he was not pleased and he was on the verge of ordering his obedient Padawan to speak up.

“No it isn’t, but it is none of your business,” snapped Xanatos.

Midnight blue eyes closed for a moment and the three younger occupants of the room could feel how the bearded male released his frustration and irritation into the Force. “Very well, I can accept that there are certain things that a Master is not supposed to know,” he turned solemnly to Obi-Wan, “We have another mission, Padawan.”

The ginger haired male could not stop himself from flinching at the title, but only Feemor noticed, because of their close proximity and contact. The blonde did not point it out aloud, but he sent Xanatos a meaningful glare and let his hand slide down Obi-Wan’s arm in a soothing manner.

“Now?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Yes, we are to return to Naboo with the Queen in order to protect her.”

Obi-Wan nodded, he had feared as much. “I see…”

It was Qui-Gon’s turn to nod, “You have an hour to prepare, then I want you to bring Anakin to the hanger bay.” “He will accompany us?” the ginger haired male had sat up and realized too late that his voice was not emotionless anymore.

Qui-Gon’s eyes narrowed dangerously, not that Obi-Wan could see it. But he could feel the minimal change in the man’s Force presence that told him that he had hit a sore point and the man was none too happy about it. “Obi-Wan,” there was a warning edge to his tone and all present knew what it meant, “I will not discuss this again. Keep your jealously to yourself or there will be consequences. I will hear no more complaints about Anakin, have I made myself clear?”

The ginger haired male was glad that he couldn’t see the obvious anger and disappointment on the man’s face. He was not sure he could have endured it. He bowed his head, “Yes Master.”

“Good. Don’t be late,” Qui-Gon left without another word.

“Obi,” Feemor began, but the younger male shook his head. He was biting his lip and his form was slumped. His eyes were also closed shut, as if he wanted to stop fresh tears from falling.

“It’s okay,” Xanatos sat himself in front of his Padawan brother and he pulled him closer. Feemor also moved closer and the blind male instinctively held onto the two older males, searching for much needed comfort.

For the first time since meeting Obi-Wan, Xanatos and Feemor were glad that their little brother could not see the conversation they were holding just by looking into each other’s eyes.

Obi-Wan was trembling, partly because of the adrenaline that was running through his veins and partly because of fear. Just barely had he stopped in front of the shutting energy field. Hadn’t it been for years of training alongside Qui-Gon, who had come up with all kind of dangerous and ridiculous situations and training methods so that his Padawan would truly be ready to face the galaxy without his eye sight, he would have run right into it and probably sustained serious injuries. This was thankfully not the case however. If the alternative was so much better, would remain to be seen.

The Padawan let his senses wander around the room. He felt Qui-Gon’s calm Force presence in front of him, not that far away, but with a handful of laser shields separating them. In front of Qui-Gon, the dark being was pacing. Obi-Wan could feel in his presence that he was frustrated and angry at the male in front of him. Apparently he thought that he was being mocked. Which he probably was… Obi-Wan silently cursed his Master. Why did the man always have to be so stubborn and so damn proud all the time?

A shift in the Force alarmed the Padawan of the opening of the shields. The first that opened, was the one between Qui-Gon and the dark creature. The Force had whispered Darth Maul, so Obi-Wan guessed that this must have been the being’s name. But he pushed that thought aside for the moment. He had to focus on the actual battle. He knew that something terrible was about to happen and that he would not be able to prevent it. Actually, he knew EXACTLY what was going to happen. The Force had shown him a detailed vision in the Force during the trip to Naboo. The vision had left him so rattled and unbalanced, that he had not even been able to confront Qui-Gon before the actual start of their mission. They had not talked, there was still that last argument between them and Obi-Wan knew what was about to happen.

This was also the reason, why he did NOT scream when his Master was impaled by the red blade of the Zabrak. Only a shaky breathe escaped him and clenched his weapon tighter. He knew what to do, he had seen it. He knew the Sith’s moves from this point on, he could do it, even without falling into that pit. He could, no, he WOULD kill that monster so that it would not hurt another being ever again. And he WOULD save Qui-Gon so that they may have that talk.

The shields went down again and as before the Sith – as the Force had whispered to him – did not hesitate to attack. Left, right, from above. He knew the moves, he knew their feeling in the Force. He could almost see the hideous creature before him. The picture of the red and black Zabrak was burned in his mind and combined with his ability to sense movements way before they actually happened, he ‘saw’ what was happening and what he had to do.

Sooner than expected, but still not soon enough for the young man’s liking, had the Sith been defeated. He was cut in half, but not cut at the waist like in his vision, but from shoulder to groin. The Force had shown him a future with the Zabrak returning, mad with rage and with robotic legs, and thankfully THAT future could be prevented quite easily.

Just in case, did the ginger haired male throw the other’s lightsaber into the pit, far out of anyone’s reach. Only then did he run to his fallen Master’s side.

The man was panting harshly, fighting for every breath. He was also in a lot of pain and his whole body trembled without control. With much care did Obi-Wan lift the other’s head up and steadied it with his leg.

“Obi…” he coughed.

“It’s going to be alright Master, help is already on the way.” He tried to bring the male to calm down.

“No… too late,” dark blue eyes closed for a brief moment, “Promise… promise me you will train the boy…” he rasped out and it cost him a lot of energy.

“Yes Master,” he agreed, even if only for the taller male’s sake.

A shaky hand reached up and caressed the Padawan’s cheek, who was desperately searching with his Force sense for something he could do. He knew the older male would not survive until the medics arrived, he had to do something, ANYTHING.

“He is the… Chosen One, he will… bring balance,” Qui-Gon continued. It was very important for him that his student got the message, but Obi-Wan was not really listening anymore. He had found what he had been looking for, an opening the Force had provided him. The Sith’s life energy was still there and of course there was his own. If he could just transport one into Qui-Gon’s body…

“Train him,” he was slipping away, but as the stubborn Padawan that Obi-Wan was, he forced his presence to prevent Qui-Gon’s from vanishing. He heard the older male gasp, but he ignored it and turned his focus to the Sith’s lingering life energy.

Obi-Wan had always found his blindness more of a gift than a curse. Of course he could not see the beauty of things, like other people did and of course he did not really know what colors were. He only knew a few of them through his visions. He would also never be able to really look somebody in the eyes. No, his world has always been dark, but all that had never truly mattered to him, because if gave him opportunities he would have missed otherwise.

He used the Force and his other senses to cover up his blindness. His advanced hearing allowed him to hear people’s heart beats and therefore guess what they were feeling and if they were lying. His nose was even sharper than Qui-Gon’s and even though it was sometimes highly unpleasant, it had saved their lives more often than not; when he had smelled out wild animals or if he had detected certain herbs or plants for example. But the most useful skill was his altered ability to use the Force. He could see other beings in a strange way. He had thought it normal, until he had allowed Qui-Gon to see the world through his eyes. The Master had been excited to discover that Obi-Wan saw a web like system – a little bit like a Code – that allowed him to know about his opponent’s motives, moves and sometimes even thoughts.

With a lot of effort, he extracted the darkness out of the dead Sith’s life energy. He allowed the darkness to pass through him – and therefore through the fine strands of his own net – and into the Force, where it vanished into nothingness. The energy that was warm and pulsing came next. But he did not allow it to pass through his net. He captured it, in the palm of his hand and let it travel along the strands, along the bond, into Qui-Gon’s body. Again the Jedi Master gasped in a mixture of shock and pain. He lifted from the ground a bit, but the Padawan held him down. Slowly, very slowly the two energies began to stick together, to shift and then to stabilize, but Obi-Wan’s mind was beginning to get foggy. He did not see how his Master fell into a healing trance after the combined energies reentered his system, firmly docking there. He did not see it, because he fell into a darkness much stronger than the one he was used to.

Obi-Wan had been more than a little disorientated when he awoke the next time. His connection with the Force was foggy, leaving him without his most reliable aid for a few brief moments. Thankfully the steady and familiar presences of Feemor and Xanatos had been there to calm him down. Anakin had been in the room as well, but he was quickly ushered out, when the healers arrived.

Afterwards, Obi-Wan had asked his Padawan brothers about what had happened and they told him in a very detailed fashion on how he and Qui-Gon were found and thought dead. How he had saved their Master’s life and almost lost his own and they told him that the Council had decided to Knight him, for he had defeated a Sith and overcome the darkness, like only a true Jedi Knight could. He could feel the pride radiating off of them and for a moment he just basked in the glow, but then he had remembered something else. The good mood was dampened, when he had been told that Qui-Gon had not yet woken and probably would not for quite some time.

This is why he was now kneeling before the Council, with Feemor and Xanatos performing the traditional ritual that Qui-Gon Jinn should have done.

All Council members stood around them in the sparely lit room. The light conditions in the room was something that Obi-Wan did not notice. They were standing straight and had their lightsabers raised and near the door stood little Anakin Skywalker. He had shyly asked if he could watch the ceremony and Obi-Wan had invited him. It was a good way to bring him a step closer into the Order.

Xanatos was standing one or two feet before Obi-Wan, holding the ginger haired male’s lightsaber in his hand, also activated.

Feemor was meanwhile running circles around his two younger Padawan brothers. His job was it, to quote the ancient words of the Knighting Ritual. “We are all Jedi. The Force speaks through us. Through our actions, the Force proclaims itself and what is real. Today we are here to acknowledge what the Force has proclaimed.”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” this time it was the raven haired Knight’s voice that cut through the silence. Obi-Wan felt his own lightsaber first warm his right shoulder, then his left. His head was bowed and he was struggling to stay completely calm while Feemor spoke the next words.

“By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee Jedi, Knight of the Republic.”

A quick movement, a hissing sound and Obi-Wan’s braid was separated from his head. With nimble finger did he reach up and took the braid into his hand, holding it close to his chest. Xanatos deactivated the blue blade and held it out for the new Knight to take. Obi-Wan stood up slowly and wordlessly took the offered weapon. He knew that the dark haired man in front of him was smiling fondly.

“Is there anything you want to say now that you are knighted?” Mace Windu’s deep voice cut through room. This was usually the part where the Padawan decided if his Master was worthy of the braid or if there was something he had always wanted to say to his Master. There was nothing Obi-Wan could say and they all knew that, for the man in question was still lying in the medical wing, oblivious to the outside world.

Instead, Obi-Wan took the opportunity of the moment, “Yes, I will take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan learner.”

He heard Feemor utter a surprised gasp. The blonde had planned on taking Anakin as his own Padawan, Obi-Wan had heard him say so to Xanatos. But the new Knight had made a promise, not only to Qui-Gon Jinn, but to the Force as well. The Force had said that the young Skywalker boy needed special training far away from the temple and Obi-Wan knew that Feemor would not want to leave for the duration of a whole apprenticeship. Neither would Xanatos, but he himself, had not much too lose. He could still be in contact with his two brothers after all.

Xanatos and Feemor’s shock quickly turned into pleasure. They apparently were content with becoming uncles instead of Masters and fathers themselves. Otherwise they would both have already chosen a Padawan learner.

Somebody cleared his throat loudly. Obi-Wan immediately identified the person as a stern and old Council member, who stuck too much to old and ancient rules. “Impossible, you are way too young to train a Padawan.”

Obi-Wan felt the blonde boy in question fidget nervously with the tunics he had been handed. “With all due respect Master,” he stood just a little straighter and his tone was defiant, “It’s not written ANYWHERE, how old a Padawan has to be, to be knighted and there is also NO entry, on how old a Knight has to be, to take on a Padawan.” Feemor and Xanatos exchanged amused glances, while Anakin ever so slowly crept towards the ginger haired Knight, who had always been rather nice to him.

The humanoid Master’s eyebrows twitched. “You are not experienced enough.”

“And perhaps you have too much experience. Besides, I will take him, whether the Council approves or not,” Obi-Wan shrugged and looked in the general direction of the male. He remembered Qui-Gon always arguing with this one and perhaps that was now SUPPOSED to be the revenge, not that Obi-Wan would tolerate it, not at all.

Meanwhile Anakin Skywalker was standing to the new Knight’s right. Obi-Wan did not look at him, not even when Anakin gently tugged at his sleeve, he just took the boy’s smaller hand in his own.

Yoda was sending the new Knight a warm look and with a single hit of his walking stick on the stone floor, he silenced the arguing Master, before the man could even form a reply. “Approve of this partnership, I do.” He nodded.

“I do as well,” Mace Windu agreed. His and Yoda’s opinions were always very important, but when they actually agreed on the same matter, then their combined words were unwritten law. No other Council member was foolish enough to continue arguing.

Back in his old quarters, Obi-Wan was packing all the things he would need for the following ten years or longer. After the Council had – some of them reluctantly – agreed that Anakin Skywalker was to be his Padawan learner, he had stayed behind with the said boy, as well as Master Yoda and Mace Windu. The two Masters had first congratulated him on both the knighting, as well as the apprenticeship. He had humbly accepted both. Then he had reported them about the things the Force had revealed to him, as well as the special training Anakin needed. The two Masters had asked a lot of questions, mostly about his knowledge about his journey, the places he wanted to visit and so on and so forth. In the end they had agreed, of course they did. Both Yoda and Mace had always had a soft spot for him. Still Obi-Wan felt a lot better about his plans and everything else, with the blessings of the two Jedi.

“Master?” the blonde boy had sat on Obi-Wan’s old bed, silent up until now, “why have you taken me as your student?” It was still strange for the Knight to be called Master.

“Well,” Obi-Wan decided to be absolutely honest and open now, “I made a promise to Qui-Gon to train you, but I wouldn’t have made that promise, hadn’t it been the will of the Force. Or in other words, I simply wanted you as my apprentice.” He quickly added the last part, when he felt the young Padawan’s confusion in the air.

“Really?” there was so much hope in the young one’s words that it almost hurt. But there was also something else that deeply bothered the older of the two males.

“Really,” he agreed, “but why do you ask?”

Anakin was fidgeting again, a habit that Obi-Wan would break some of these days, because it was making him extremely nervous. “I eh… you,” he took a deep breath, “because you keep avoiding looking at me…” the blonde finally admitted.

Obi-Wan paused in his tasks, completely frozen in place. Had nobody told the boy? Surely he must have noticed. Slowly he turned around and looked at where he knew the other’s face to be. The Knight was aware that his eyes were wide in surprise and that his mouth was open in shock, but he was not bothered by it, not now.

“Anakin,” the Padawan did not react and Obi-Wan abandoned his halfway packed bag in favor of kneeling right in front of his young charge. He gently took the boy’s smaller hands, which had been playing with the hem of his shirt, in his own. He tugged invitingly at them and eventually, the young Skywalker looked up. “Anakin,” he began gently, “I am terrible sorry for stirring such feelings in you, it was not my intention to make you feel unwanted. But… but I thought you knew.”

“Knew? Knew what?” his curiosity was clearly spiked and Obi-Wan had to smirk at that.

“I’m blind Padawan,” there was no other way to say it, he had learned that from Qui-Gon.

It took a few moments until Anakin replied, “You are joking… right?” his voice sounded uncertain.

The ginger haired Knight sighed and pulled slightly back to properly sit down on the ground in front of his Padawan. These conversations were always the worst parts. People tended to believe that he was lying, just because his eyes were not milky white in color, like it was often the case. People also tended to not believe him, because Qui-Gon had trained him to always ‘look’ – or at least appear to be looking – at peoples’ faces.

“I am not joking, I am truly blind. The Force and my other senses just help me ‘see’ in a different way. For example, I can feel your movements in the Force, it is like a vibration and if I concentrate a little more, you appear as a part of a large net. Every time a string moves, something happens and I learned to remember what string causes what action. Do you understand?”

Anakin nodded, before he quickly replied, “Yes Master. But what about colors and how do you know how people look, how you look?”

“Well, I was always more connected to the Unifying Force, which means that I tend to have visions every now and then. Those visions are full of colors. You see, my brain is not damaged. My optic nerves are the problem, they never really worked, perhaps a mutation during my development.”

“And then you asked people what color the tree trunks have and you would know how the color brown looked,” the boy summarized.

“Very good,” the Knight praised, “you learn quick.”

“What about your own looks though?”

“I HAD Qui-Gon and sometimes even Xani and Fee for that… but I guess they won’t be helping me any time soon, not after we left the temple to begin your training.”

The young Skywalker thought for a moment. His brows were furrowed and his eyes slightly narrowed, the gears in his mind turning on full speed. It couldn’t be much longer until smoke started to come out of his ear. Obi-Wan decided to wait this one out. The Padawan clearly was trying his hardest to come up with something, one of his ‘brilliant’ plans or perhaps another crazy idea.

“Maybe,” the blonde eventually began, “maybe I can help you from now on. Don’t worry, I helped Mom a lot with her hair and you can tell me about your Jedi robes.” He seemed eager and ready for action.

Obi-Wan laughed softly, “I would like that very much.” The grin he received, could have rivaled the twin suns of Tatooine.

“Are you sure about this?” Feemor asked what felt like the thousands time already.

Obi-Wan just sent him an amused look, but didn’t say anything. He had been sure as soon as the Force had thrown Anakin Skywalker literally at him. This was his destiny, THEIR destiny. There wouldn’t be a ‘him’ anymore. Anakin and he were a team now and only as a team they would survive the next years, Obi-Wan was sure of it.

“Fee,” Xanatos cut in, “little Obi has grown up. I mean, look at him. He is a full Knight now, he has a Padawan and he killed a damn Sith… I don’t think there is anything out there that can stop him.” He draped a comforting arm around the older Knight’s shoulder.

“He is right Fee, I CAN watch after me and if you crack a joke or give me a stupid comment now, I swear that I’ll hit you.” Xanatos, who had truly wanted to say that he couldn’t be watching himself since he didn’t watch anything at all, wisely shut his mouth. Obi-Wan nodded ones in satisfaction. “Besides, I have my new Padawan at my back, he will keep me save.”

He sent a warm smile towards the younger boy at his side, who grinned up at him as if Obi-Wan was his greatest hero, which he probably was. “Don’t worry Master, I make sure that nothing bad will happen.”

The three Knights laughed in unison and Feemor bent down to ruffle through blonde locks that had recently been cut into the traditional Padawan hair style. “I’m sure you will. May the Force be with you,” he glimpsed at the ginger haired Knight.

“Yes and if trouble arises, you know how to contact us. Fee and I will be faster with you than Master Yoda can swing that stick of his.” Xanatos added and he made a gesture as if he was hitting imaginary beetles with an oversized bat.

Anakin laughed at the comically sight and he was not the only one. Obi-Wan just rolled his eyes, while Feemor shook his head, but a few other Knights and Masters chuckled openly and fondly at the most popular gang in the Jedi Order.

“I guess that’s it then,” Obi-Wan said when his transport landed. His two older brothers just nodded, before both of them first hugged him tight and then ruffled Anakin’s spiky hair affectionately. Not much words were exchanged then, just a last promise from Xanatos. “We’ll contact you, when Qui-Gon’s situation changes,” he yelled after his little brother, who had become a tall and big brother during the last twelve years. Perhaps it was just the new title, or perhaps it was the young and energetic boy running after him, Xanatos was not sure, but his little brother had grown into a fine man indeed.