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writings-in-ebony · 5 years ago

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The Black Dahlia - Stucky x Black!Reader

Summary: You just wanted to board your plane but the two men following you have other plans. This is an AU based off of the show Carmen Sandiego, where you also play a female thief who escapes a corrupted organization of thieves.

Author’s note: Wow! Two submissions in less than 24 hours! Yeah but this might be a one-shot, it might be a series. Who knows. It’s up to you guys. I love the show Carmen Sandiego and wanted to add this concept to the Marvel Universe. As always, likes and reblogs are well received and I love comments and asks! Thanks again, everyone!

Word Count: 1704

Warnings: Bad language

The Black Dahlia

The airport was not too crowded today, mostly because it was a Sunday and the holidays had just recently ended. You were currently standing in line waiting for your luggage to get checked in, looking over the recent data Tony had sent to you that morning. It was a long list of things, but the flight would give you enough time to look over and analyze everything that you needed. Then, you could plan your next steps.

You moved up within the line and noticed something out the corner of your eye. There was a man, a thickly built blonde wearing a Yankees baseball cap and a tightly fitting t-shirt, standing over by the suitcase return. He stood with his hands in his pockets and the way he angled his face, you could decipher that his eyes were aimed straight at you under his thickly tinted sunglasses.

Wow, such an amateur move, you thought to yourself as you pretended not to notice him. The suitcase return hasn’t been activated recently which means he was standing there for nothing. Add that to the fact he was wearing sunglasses in a dimly lit portion of an airport. He told on himself and you had found him.

“Tasha?” you casually asked to the hidden earpiece in your ear?

“Yes, boss?” came a silky Russian accent.

“I’ve got eyes on a blonde over by the suitcase return. Very built and very noticeable,” you provided, stepping up yet again. You were next in line and you rolled your suitcase in front of you.

“Ah, I see.” There was a small pause. “He is definitely here for you. Can’t take his eyes off you. Is he one of your previous friends?” You did a small sweep of your eyes and smiled at the fact you couldn’t even spot Natasha. However, wherever she was, she saw everything. She was very good at her job and stealth was one of her strongest skills. It’s mainly why you hired her.

“Not to break up this chat, but uh…you have a second admirer too. Nine o’clock position,” came Clint’s voice. You darted your eyes to the left and searched. This one was harder to find, but you saw him. He was standing by the information desk, leafing through the travel brochures and informational pamphlets. He, too, was built, but slightly smaller than the blonde. It also didn’t help that he had on the same dark sunglasses. They really, and you meant really, needed to retire those.

You were called to the front by one of the attendants, a friendly-looking elderly woman. “How may I help you, Miss?” You placed your suitcase on the scale and smiled at her, making small conversation and asking the woman how her day was. All the while, the men in the background didn’t shift and watched your every move. It was funny how intensely they stared, yet you knew their efforts would be fruitless.

“All done dearie. Here’s your suitcase number to make sure you can keep track of it. Have a nice flight!” And with that, she tossed your suitcase on the conveyor behind her and you eased away from the counter. Now, you just had to get to your gate. But first, you had to lose Thing 1 and Thing 2.

“Tony,” you said into the earpiece.

“Yes, my lovely Dahlia?” You rolled your eyes. He was such a cornball, but he got the job done.

“Is there a way you can bypass the airport’s security measures and make a few changes for me?”

“What changes you need, babe?”

“I need you to look within the cameras and spot the two men tailing me. One’s blonde and wearing a tight blue shirt and the other is brunette with a large green jacket on. Can’t miss them,” you provided as you weaved through the thick crowd.

“Gotcha.” Furious typing could be heard, and Tony made a sound of triumph as he locked in on the two. “Oh, yeah, they’re definitely following you.”

“Great. I want you to use the airport’s new identification system to lock on these two men and expose them as threats. Make it seem like the police is searching for them. Once you do, airport security will immediately lock on them and we’ll be able to board our plane with no hassle. Got it?”

“Ooooh, petty. I love it,” Tony giggled maniacally.

You looked at your phone once again and looked up the airport’s emergency hotline. Immediately dialing the number, it took two rings before a woman’s voice piped up saying, “Airport Emergency, how may we be of assistance?”

You quickened your breathing, simulating panic and heightened the tone of your voice. “Oh, thank God. Hi. Um, I know this might seem like a pointless call, but I feel as though there are two men who have been following me throughout the entire airport. It’s really freaking me out and I just want to make sure they’re not going to harm me.”

The woman on the other line jumped into action and asked for their descriptions. “Um, one’s a blonde, very muscular, and has on a tight blue shirt. The other one is scarier with shoulder-length brown hair, a stubble, and a thick green jacket. Is that description okay?” You were really selling it and you could hear Clint’s snorting through the earpiece.

“Of course, ma’am. Let me look.” It only took a few seconds before the woman gasped. “Oh my.”

“What is it?!”

“These two men have search warrants out for them. The police are looking to question them on allegations regarding sex trafficking, coercion of a minor, and battery! Ma’am, please hang tight. We are deploying security right now.”

“Oh my God! Thank you! My flight leaves in about ten minutes, so I’ll just sit at my gate.”

“Okay. If you need anything, please call us again.” You thanked the woman profusely and hung up, a smirk crossing your face.

“Wow, Tony. Way to up the criminal offenses.”

“I had to make sure they were quick about it. You know how slow law enforcement is.”

You were about to reply when you felt a large hand grab your elbow. Trained to not react, you calmly looked up at the imposing figure beside you. It was the brunette, his face set in a grim expression as he looked down at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Why, hello, Bucky,” you smiled.

“Don’t ‘Hello, Bucky’ me. It’s the Winter Soldier and you know it,” he growled, hand squeezing the upper part of your elbow. “We’ve been tailing you for some time now and you really think you’re about to hop on that plane and elude us again. Well, you’re not Black Dahlia. You’re not going anywhere but back to the compound.” You didn’t answer and instead turned to the left to look at the blonde who was standing very close to you.

“Hello, Steve. Still wearing that same lame disguise?” His jaw tensed at the comment, but he didn’t reply.

The hand on your elbow pulled you to the side, away from an incoming cart, but it kept its same grip. “You’re not getting away easily. We’re going to go straight out this airport and down to the car, with no problems. If you cause any, we’ll make sure you arrive back to the island with some difficulty walking,” Bucky threatened.

“No, you won’t,” you challenged.

“And why won’t I?” Bucky’s eyes widened at you, wondering if you had lost your goddamn mind. But you didn’t waver.

“Because you and Steve love me.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed and you could hear Steve intake a breath. “No, you don’t get to say that. You stopped loving us when you left us there. When you decided to go your own selfish way and leave us to fend for ourselves! So yeah, we did love you, but you made your choice and proved to us that we were disposable!” His voice rose above a growl, his anger clear as day on his face.

“I never stopped loving you,” you shot back. “I never stopped loving either of you, but I’m not going to give away my life to…to crime and hurting innocent people. That’s not me and I’d rather live without you both than subject myself to that moral torture!” You aimed a glare at Bucky, then composed yourself. It would do no good arguing in the middle of a crowded airport. Too much attention.

You eyed a passing clock, realizing you had five minutes before your flight took off. You also saw that men dressed in thick police gear were approaching from both sides. Now’s the time for your escape. “And while I would love to keep confessing our mutual dislike for each other, I really must catch my flight. And you and Steve must try to leave this airport without getting caught by the police and airport security. I think I heard from a little birdy that you both have arrest warrants for sex trafficking, coercion of a minor and battery.” The men stopped and looked at you, bewildered, then aimed their confused stares at the incoming police. “So, ta-ta boys and I’ll see you at a future date? If you make it out of here, that is.” And with that, you pinched a nerve in Bucky’s arm, causing him to cry out and escaped his grasp, disappearing into the crowd with ease. If they were smart, they wouldn’t follow you and by the looks of it, they didn’t.

You passed the armed men and headed straight for your gate where the flight attendants were preparing to close the doors. Making it just in time and quickly scanning your ticket, you boarded the airplane with ease and went to your first-class seat. Natasha and Clint occupied the two seats behind yours, giving you respectable smirks and a thumbs-up for your cunningness.

As the plane was beginning to roll itself away from the airport, you looked out the window and spotted two figures standing on the roof of the airport, staring at your plane. It was too late, and they knew it. They had failed again and would keep failing. The Black Dahlia never got caught.

#stucky x reader #stucky x black!reader #black!reader #Steve Rogers #bucky barnes #steve x bucky #poc!reader #bucky x reader

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girlsinthestars · 6 years ago

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I do not experience emotions

Pairing: Data/Geordi La Forge

Word count: 2206

Warnings: None

Read on AO3

It was one of the first things Data told everyone, and one of the most common things he reminded them of. Data said he didn’t feel emotions. And that never bothered Geordi, Data was his best friend, whether Data could feel things or not. But Geordi was beginning to notice his own feelings. Data complimented him and his heart fluttered, Data was in danger and he felt like his world was crashing around him, Data spoke endlessly about one topic or another and Geordi wanted to listen forever. It was insane how quickly he fell for Data, or maybe he had fallen slowly, a long time ago, and he was only just now realising. Either way it was going nowhere. Data’s continuous reminders that he didn’t have emotions made sure he didn’t forget that. Here’s the thing though, he knew Data, and he knew that although Data didn’t experience emotions the way people did, Data often experienced his reactions that often couldn’t be described as anything other than emotional. Geordi believed Data was capable of returning his feelings, in his own way, but Data never gave any indication he believed he was anything other than emotionless.

“You excited for this new program? It’s meant to be the most difficult mystery program created.” Geordi was walking behind Data, heading for the holodeck. He had decided to put his newly discovered feelings behind him. Well… to try at least. Because he valued Data’s friendship, and while he knew that Data probably wouldn’t hold it against him, he wasn’t ready to test that. So he was going about business as usual.

“I do not feel excitement, Geordi.” Data responded. And for the tenth time that week Geordi’s ‘business as usual’ approach failed on him as he stopped in his tracks. He hated that a simple statement that had never bothered him, that he had always thought of as yet another funny quirk of Data’s, suddenly made him feel like he had no chance for happiness ever.

“Geordi?” Data was looking at him, tilting his head.

“Nothing, sorry, I just got distracted for a second.”

“That has been happening a lot lately, perhaps you should speak to Dr Crusher.”

“No it’s- it’s nothing Data, don’t worry.”

“I do not feel worry-”

Geordi sighed and interrupted Data. “Well, it doesn’t matter, so forget about it.” He walked past Data and into the holodeck.

Data followed him. “Geordi, I sense that there is something you are not telling me.”

“It’s nothing Data, let’s just start this program.”

“I have been told it is healthy for humans to talk about how they feel.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Geordi said, putting in the program.

“I do not have any reference for this situation, however, as I consider you my closest friend, and I have been under the impression you consider me in the same regard, I believe the phrase ‘if you cannot tell me, who can you tell’ applies.”

“I do consider you my closest friend, Data, this just isn’t something I want to talk about. With anyone.”

The program started up and Data finally dropped the subject. Geordi had no misconceptions that Data would simply forget the encounter, with Data’s memory banks that wasn’t possible, but he kind of assumed that Data wouldn’t bring it up again. He was wrong.

He was just falling asleep when his door chimed. And on the other side of the door was Data, who seemed surprised to find a half asleep Geordi, despite the hour.

“Geordi, my apologies, you were asleep.”

“Just getting there, come on in.” Geordi said, stepping back from the door, “What’s got you up at this hour?”

“I do not require-” Data began, following Geordi into his quarters.

“Yeah, I know, you don’t require sleep, I mean what’s got you wandering around at this hour.”

“I was not wandering, I came here directly from my quarters.”

“Alright, well, what’s up, Data?” Geordi sat down on the couch, gesturing to the seat across from him.

“It concerns our discussion earlier today, the topic you did not wish to discuss.”

“Data…”

“I am aware you do not want to talk about it, however, I have been unable to turn my attention away from it. I believe I have found the common factor, but it has brought me no answers, so I come to you.” There Data paused, looking over at Geordi, seeking some kind of encouragement.

Geordi nodded, unsure of what to say, Data was his friend, and he felt bad that he had him worrying like this. But at the same time Geordi really didn’t feel like going through this whole discussion with Data at this hour.

“The only common factor I can find is my statements relating to my emotionless state, however, I can find no evidence of this same reaction prior to the last month. I am, therefore, baffled. I cannot find a situational change that could have caused this and can only deduce that it is a change in your feelings toward me.” Data paused again, and Geordi forced himself not to react. “I fear that I have done something to offend you, but I cannot think what, and I ask that you enlighten me.”

Geordi hated that he had made Data think he had done something wrong, but he didn’t know what to tell him. To tell him the truth, that he had managed to fall head over heels in love with Data and the constant reminders that Data didn’t think he could never return those feelings were killing him, seemed… Harsh. He didn’t want Data to feel like he had to hide that part of himself from Geordi in order to save Geordi’s feelings.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Data, it’s just something I’m dealing with, I don’t want you to worry."

“I do not-” Data began, then seemed to change his mind, “I care for you Geordi, and I do not like to see you upset.”

Geordi smiled at that. “I appreciate that, Data.”

Data nodded, and sat silently for a moment. “I do not want to pry but… Geordi, has something happened that made you uncomfortable with my lack of emotions? Can I help?”

Geordi sighed, he really wasn’t in the mood to argue with Data about whether he had his own version of feelings or not, but he couldn’t stand to leave Data in this state, convinced he had done something wrong that made Geordi hate an inherent part of his person. And now that Data had made the connection, there was really no reason for Geordi to keep it a secret. Other than the fact that he was terrified it would change the way Data thought about him and along with it, the way Data acted around him.

“Nothing happened Data, I just… I realised something… about how I feel about you.” Geordi looked over at Data, but his face was as expressionless as ever. “I like you, Data.”

Data was silent for a moment, his head tilting slightly as he considered the statement. Trying to decipher the contextual meaning, Geordi supposed. Then his head straightened up and his eyes focused on Geordi again. “I see, you wish to pursue a romantic relationship.”

“No, I... I mean yeah, but I know, you always say you aren’t capable of that.”

“I have never said that.”

“Yeah you have! ‘I am not capable of emotions, Geordi.’ You said that.”

“That is true, however, I was under the impression human relationships put more value on continued dedication to-.” Data started, pausing when Geordi walked to the other side of the room. “Geordi?”

“They do, but Data there is a level of emotion to that kind of relationship, a level I believe you are capable of.”

“I do not experience-”

“I know Data, but you can understand the emotional reactions a situation induces, there’s not much difference between that and actually experiencing it.”

Data opened his mouth to reply, but Geordi continued before he could. “And there’s more: Dr Crusher told me once that when I was in danger, you became more ‘motivated’ to solve the problem; when Tasha died you missed her, you saved artefacts that reminded you of her; even little things, you remember that time you lost a game to a Zakdornian? Troi said you sulked for a whole day, you were filled with self-doubt, convinced that you would make another mistake; and when you realised the exocomp was alive? You were disappointed when it seemingly failed the test and retested it multiple times. Those are feelings, Data, perhaps they aren’t processed and experienced the same way others on the ship feel them but that is what they are. Just because they are formed as circuitry reactions does not make them any less real.”

Data tilted his head. “I do see where you are coming from, however, I do not want to ‘lead you on’, as it were, Geordi. I am not capable of returning your feelings.”

Geordi stepped forward, into Data’s space, resting a hand on his arm. “I know that Data, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m saying you are capable of a romantic relationship because you have the same reactions as someone who could return my feelings, you just don’t experience the feelings themselves. Besides, I like you for you, not some pretend emotional version.”

Data nodded. “I must admit, I find your company preferable to others. If I were going to have a successful romantic relationship with anyone, it would be you.”

Geordi sighed and stepped back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you. Of course it’s up to you whether you think you can be in a relationship.”

“You… love me?” Data asked after a moment.

“I- I guess, yeah.”

“You are aware that I am not capable of a ‘normal’ human relationship?”

“Yeah, well I’ve never been very good at normal human relationships.”

“You are aware that I do not possess emotions and therefore cannot return your feelings the way a person could?”

“You can in your own way though.”

“That is not what I asked.”

“Yeah.”

“And in spite of that, you love me?”

Geordi smiled, in Data’s own way he was self-conscious, afraid of being rejected. “Yeah.”

“I am afraid I do not understand. There are over a thousand people on this ship, I am not the logical choice for your affections.”

“These things are rarely logical, Data.”

“You are not concerned that I will not be able to fulfil your relationship requirements?”

“No, Data, are you?”

“I do not feel concern, however, I do not wish you to regret this decision.” Data paused, tilting his head. “I see what you were referring to, although I state that I do not experience the emotional state, which is true, I present the reaction a human would have as a result of the emotional state.”

“I won’t regret it, Data.”

Data was silent, as if he didn’t know where to go from there, and honestly, neither did Geordi.

“It is late, you require sleep.” Data finally said, turning to leave.

“Wait!” Geordi said, his hand grabbing Data’s arm before he could think about it. “Kiss me goodnight?”

“Do you wish me to begin running my romantic relations program now?”

Geordi frowned. “The program you wrote for Lieutenant D’sora?”

“I did not write it for her, I wrote it for the purpose of enabling me to recreate human behaviour in a romantic relationship.”

“What if you didn’t use a program? Just be you.”

Data considered him. “I do not know how that would work.”

“Look Data, I don’t want you to be someone else, I don’t want you to try to recreate human behaviour in a romantic relationship, see a romantic relationship isn’t a completely different input, I like to think of it more as… an extension of friendship.”

“I see.”

Geordi expected Data to say something else but he didn’t, he just stood there considering Geordi. Then his head shifted and he looked met Geordi’s gaze.

“I have moved my friendship subroutine for you into its own program in order to allow the space for protocols relating to our new relationship. I will kiss you now.”

Geordi laughed as Data gripped his arms and leaned forward. “Wait, Data, just relax.” He moved Data’s hands off his arms, moving one to his waist and dropping the other, wrapping his own arms around Data’s neck. “Close your eyes, just let it happen.”

Kissing Data wasn’t magical. But, honestly, Geordi had never had a magical kiss, and this was by far the best kiss he’d had. Maybe because it was Data, maybe because he wasn’t worried Data was going to make and excuse and abandon him in his carefully crafted holodeck program immediately after, either way it was good.

“I believe I… enjoyed that.” Data said, once they pulled back.

“Yeah, I did too.” Geordi’s voice sounded ridiculously soft to him, but he didn’t think Data would mind. “Dinner tomorrow night? My quarters?”

“Dinner is a customary first date. I will be there.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Data nodded and turned to leave, but hesitated, turning back around again and pressing a kiss to Geordi’s cheek. “Goodnight, Geordi.”

“Night Data.”

#daforge #data x geordi #star trek #Star Trek TNG #Star Trek the next generation #star trek next generation #star trek next gen #data soong #Geordi La Forge #geordi laforge #cc writes #fic

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onlinemarketinghelp · 5 years ago

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The Best Personal Finance YouTubers to Follow (Right Now!) https://ift.tt/2HAENZL

No matter where you are on your financial journey, it is always nice to know that there are people out there who are doing what you’ve done or who have done what you want to do. Knowing that somebody just like you has paid off their debt, bought a house, or is pursuing financial independence is inspiring.

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The Best Financial YouTubers to Follow

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Clever Girl Finance — 37,000+ Subscribers

The Financial Diet — 772,000+ Subscribers

Freedom In A Budget — 32,000+ Subscribers

Graham Stephan — 1.49 Million Subscribers

His And Her Money — 90,000+ Subscribers

Let’s Talk Money! with Joseph Hogue, CFA — 150,000+ Subscribers

The Money Mentor | Chris Winter — 60,000 Subscribers

Nate O'Brien — 432,000+ Subscribers

One Big Happy Life — 182,000+ Subscribers

Our Rich Journey — 179,000+ Subscribers

Wealth Hacker - Jeff Rose — 288,000 Subscribers

Up-and-Coming Financial YouTubers to Watch

Debt Free Millennials

Pennies Not Perfection

Gee Nonterah - Create & Prosper

Mapped Out Money

TruFinancials

The College Investor Channel

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We break down our picks for the best financial YouTube Channels right now. Some of these bring the data, some the entertainment, all of them - solid personal finance and money advice.

Oh, and I hate picking real "favorites" - so this list is alphabetical:

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Sarah, Budget Girl, paid off $33,000 in student loan debt over three years while making $26,000 per year. She documented her journey to becoming debt-free until she paid off all her loans about three years ago.

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Joseph Hogue talks about making money online, paying off debt, and building wealth through investing.

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Debt Free Millennials

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The post The Best Personal Finance YouTubers to Follow (Right Now!) appeared first on The College Investor.

from The College Investor

Although this is not an exhaustive list, you will find these financial YouTube creators inspiring as you pursue your own goals to financial freedom.

Best Personal Finance YouTube Channels

The Best Financial YouTubers to Follow

Budget Girl — 60,000+ Subscribers

Clever Girl Finance — 37,000+ Subscribers

The Financial Diet — 772,000+ Subscribers

Freedom In A Budget — 32,000+ Subscribers

Graham Stephan — 1.49 Million Subscribers

His And Her Money — 90,000+ Subscribers

Let’s Talk Money! with Joseph Hogue, CFA — 150,000+ Subscribers

The Money Mentor | Chris Winter — 60,000 Subscribers

Nate O'Brien — 432,000+ Subscribers

One Big Happy Life — 182,000+ Subscribers

Our Rich Journey — 179,000+ Subscribers

Wealth Hacker - Jeff Rose — 288,000 Subscribers

Up-and-Coming Financial YouTubers to Watch

Debt Free Millennials

Pennies Not Perfection

Gee Nonterah - Create & Prosper

Mapped Out Money

TruFinancials

The College Investor Channel

The Best Financial YouTubers to Follow

We break down our picks for the best financial YouTube Channels right now. Some of these bring the data, some the entertainment, all of them - solid personal finance and money advice.

Oh, and I hate picking real "favorites" - so this list is alphabetical:

Budget Girl — 60,000+ Subscribers

Since then, Sarah has been featured on The Dave Ramsey Show, CNBC, and CBS.

She continues to make videos that will inspire you to live frugally and get rid of debt.

Clever Girl Finance — 37,000+ Subscribers

Clever Girl Finance is hosted by Bola Sokunbi and focuses on helping women ditch debt, save money, and build real wealth.

Her most popular video is this one where she talks about saving $100,000 in a little over three years.

Bola has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, and Forbes.

The Financial Diet — 772,000+ Subscribers

Their videos are high-quality and the hosts on The Financial Diet really do make you feel included when they talk about personal finance.

Freedom In A Budget — 32,000+ Subscribers

If you’re looking for ways to save money and live within a budget, Kelly Smith McColgan’s channel is the one to watch for inspiration.

And her most-watched video is this one where she talks about how she only spends $100 on groceries per month.

Graham Stephan — 1.49 Million Subscribers

Graham Stephan is a 28-year-old real estate agent and investor who has sold over $120,000,000 in real estate since 2008.

His channel focuses on building wealth through investing, real estate, as well as insights into wealth building at a young age.

His And Her Money — 90,000+ Subscribers

Tai and Talaat McNeely run His And Her Money and their slogan is, “We run the number one source for money and marriage.”

Let’s Talk Money! with Joseph Hogue, CFA — 150,000+ Subscribers

Joseph Hogue talks about making money online, paying off debt, and building wealth through investing.

He also runs four blogs on these various topics! He has a lot to share and you will learn a lot from his channel.

The Money Mentor | Chris Winter — 60,000 Subscribers

Extra money can go a long way to helping you pay off debt quicker and boost your savings. It will also help you live your best financial life as you work towards your financial goals.

Nate O'Brien — 432,000+ Subscribers

Want to become a financial minimalist while still living a rich life? On Nate O'Brien’s channel you can learn how to do that.

One of his viral videos is of him talking about how he moved to Philadelphia and sold everything in order to live a simplified life.

One Big Happy Life — 182,000+ Subscribers

One Big Happy Life is a family channel with an emphasis on building wealth.

While a lot of channels on this list focus on living frugally in order to reach financial independence, One Big Happy Life approaches this differently. And that is the beauty of personal finance.

While paying off debt and living frugally is a great way to start your financial journey, I also realize, it may not be for everyone. In that case, you will thoroughly enjoy One Big Happy Life.

Some of the most popular videos on One Big Happy Life are the ones where the couple, Tasha and Joseph, share their net worth and journey to financial independence on a monthly basis.

Our Rich Journey — 179,000+ Subscribers

Our Rich Journey is hosted by another couple — Christina and Amon — who documented their journey to financial independence and retired at the age of 41 and 39, respectively.

They are active members of the FIRE (financial independence retire early) community and were able to build up their YouTube community from scratch to 179,000 subscribers in less than two years.

If you’re interested in learning how to become financially independent and retire early, this is a great channel to follow.

Wealth Hacker - Jeff Rose — 288,000 Subscribers

Just like the name of the channel suggests, Jeff focuses on teaching people how to grow the money they already have and create wealth.

The Wealth Hacker - Jeff Rose channel is great for learning about investing and the stock market.

Up-and-Coming Financial YouTubers to Watch

I didn’t want to end this post without mentioning certain smaller YouTube creators in the financial space or personal finance space who are doing a great job of educating their audiences.

Debt Free Millennials

By age 25, Justine Nelson had paid off $35,000 in student loan debt making just $37,000 per year. And now she’s on a mission to inspire other millennials to crush their debt and live payment-free.

Pennies Not Perfection

This channel was started by Mary Hobbs and currently has 10,000 subscribers. Mary talks about a range of topics including budgeting, paying off debt, financial planning, and side hustles.

Gee Nonterah - Create & Prosper

Mapped Out Money

TruFinancials

Denis Trufin does a great job of teaching you how to invest in language that is relatable.

The College Investor Channel

Yes, we have a YouTube channel too! Make sure to subscribe there if you haven’t already.

The post The Best Personal Finance YouTubers to Follow (Right Now!) appeared first on The College Investor.

https://ift.tt/2SHdpOY February 19, 2020 at 11:15AM https://ift.tt/2uYYcAL

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ellenlucasonlinedatingblog · 5 years ago

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Porn Ed: What Happens When Porn Replaces Sex Education?

Adolescents today have greater access to a wider range of pornography than any previous generation. So how is it affecting them?

This question is the crux of a new episode of Lisa Ling’s CNN series This is Life titled “Porn Ed,” which premieres September 29. Ling wanted to better understand how accessibility to porn is changing the way adolescents and young adults think about sex and approach relationships.

Episode still from Lisa Ling’s “This is Life.” Image courtesy of CNN.

I had a chance to preview the episode and sit down with Ling to discuss it. While there’s much that we agree on, including the idea that porn is not an effective substitute for sex education, there are some aspects of the episode that I worry could potentially leave viewers with the wrong impression of how porn impacts people, especially the idea that it is “addictive.” The show focuses on people’s personal opinions about and experiences with porn and doesn’t explore the science—in fact, no researchers or doctors are interviewed on screen during the episode. So while it’s certainly a thought-provoking show, there were some missed opportunities for a data-driven discussion.

Below is a lightly edited transcript of my conversation with Ling that focuses on the areas where we agree, but also the areas where science and medicine diverge from some of the things claimed by those who were interviewed in the episode.

Justin Lehmiller: In this episode, you interview people who see porn as a source of danger and problems, but you also talk to people like Cindy Gallop who see potential value in adult videos that are capturing real-life sex. When you put those different conversations together, what's your take on whether porn itself is inherently good or bad, or is it neutral?

Lisa Ling: Our episode really isn't a condemnation of porn. I do think that for some people, there may be value to porn. And I would never begrudge sex workers because I actually think that there are sex workers out there who are performing a real service. My big concern is just the abundance of material that's out there—some of which is really extreme—and how easy kids can access it. You know, when you talk about what Cindy's trying to do with her website, Make Love Not Porn, they are defiant about the fact that they are not porn. They are providing people with an experience of what real sex should look like. It's not always clean and it's sometimes messy. It's sometimes funny. It sometimes doesn't really work very well. And I do think that there is value in that. I do think that we should be exposed to how beautiful and meaningful sex can be. It's part of who we are, right?

But at the same time, I do think that it's incumbent on parents to start having those conversations with kids sooner. I think that kids need to understand that sex is part of who we are, that it can be just a pleasurable experience, that communication is really essential, and that what they are accessing is not reality. It's entertainment for adults. There's a lot that goes on behind the scenes that kids are never aware of.

That's one of the reasons why we feature Tasha Reign, the adult film star, because she is on a mission to communicate to people that, before cameras even roll, they have a negotiation about consent and about what the men and women are willing to do. I think if we had a better sense of the fact that this is all artificial in many ways—it’s entertainment—kids may not think that's reality.

Justin Lehmiller: You and I are on the same page that porn should not be used to replace sex education. And you've already talked a bit about the different ways that parents need to start approaching sex education with their kids. But I'm curious as to the role of schools in all of this. What do you think schools need to be doing differently when it comes to sex ed, specifically as it relates to porn?

Lisa Ling. Photo courtesy of CNN.

Lisa Ling: I think it's ultimately a parent's responsibility, but we have to recognize that there are some parents who aren't able to have those kinds of conversations, don't want to have those conversations, may not have time to have those kinds of conversations…so we need to start having those conversations in schools. In California, for example, where I'm from, there is a very comprehensive sexual education curriculum. When I sat through one of the classes, I was even uneasy because I wasn't used to having those kinds of conversations. But for the kids, it was just sort of like they didn't even blink. They're learning that this is a natural part of who we are and that there shouldn't be any shame or humor around it—that it's meant to be enjoyed and pleasurable, but we have to make sure that we are safe at the same time.

Justin Lehmiller: I think you're absolutely right that kids do want to have these discussions, but it's usually the parents who don't feel comfortable initiating them. So where are they going to get that information? I think schools provide one potential avenue for that through, say, porn literacy programs.

Lisa Ling: I thought it was pretty impressive that in Boston public schools they have this sex ed curriculum that includes porn literacy. You know, some parents might go, "Why are my kids learning about porn in school?" Well, because your kids are probably watching porn in their bedrooms with the phone that you gave them. The moment your kid gets a phone or gets a mobile device, you got to start thinking about how to broach the subject with them because they've probably already seen things that they don't understand that they think depict real sex.

Justin Lehmiller: Something I noticed in watching your episode is that you interviewed a lot of people, but you didn't have any scientific or medical experts in the area of porn. I'm just curious—was there a reason or rationale behind not having one of them on to discuss it?

Lisa Ling: Our show is very much an experiential one and we have found that by immersing ourselves amongst people who are going through these things, I think we get a better sense of and we're more relatable to viewers who may be experiencing similar things. And if they do feel somehow like they connect with the information that we're giving them or the people that we're profiling, then they can seek out that more professional or clinical information.

Like Alex Rhodes who started the NoFap website. He's not a clinician or a therapist but he has half a million people on his website who say that they are suffering from pornography addiction. And pornography addiction hasn't even been classified as an addiction. But because he's experienced, he knows what has worked for him and what hasn't and it's become this forum for people to share exactly those things.

Justin Lehmiller: I'm glad that you brought up those points—that porn “addiction” is not a recognized medical or psychological diagnosis and that Alex Rhodes is not a clinician, but he is offering services sort of treating this as an addiction. This is one of those areas where when you look at the research, it’s not at all definitive in saying that porn is addictive, and so I worry a little that in highlighting what Rhodes is doing and the big following he has, that people might walk away thinking that it is an addiction when the actual medical community is not there based on the research.

When you look at a lot of the data in this area, what we often see is that porn is more the symptom rather the cause of a lot of the issues people are experiencing. For example, they might have generalized sexual anxiety or moral conflicts, and those might really be the underlying cause. So to put this in the form of a question, what's your take on the idea that we might be scapegoating porn because it's an easy target rather than dealing with the underlying issues that might be driving people to porn in the first place?

Lisa Ling: You know, I am also not a clinician or a therapist, but if you talk to any pediatrician or you talk to a lot of parents, the moment their kids become exposed to pornography and how easily it's accessible, whether they have underlying issues or not, it can cloud a young person's judgment about what real sex is supposed to be like. And, you know, studies have shown that young people are having less sex than ever before. And one has to ask, "Well, what's the reason for that?" Well, it's probably because they can experience the extremes using their mobile devices. They don't have to go through the anxiety of asking a girl out or dealing with rejection when they have everything that they need and more in their pocket, accessible at all times.

So for me to boldly assert that it's an addiction, that's not something that we do in our episode. But there's a reason why NoFap, that website, has a half a million people that are desperate. They're coming to this website desperate for help from what they believe is an addiction.

Justin Lehmiller: I get that they're perceiving porn as the cause of their problems, but it might not actually be the problem for them. So by going to these websites and resources that are not based in science and data, they might not actually be getting the help that they need to really deal with those issues.

[Sidebar: Research suggests that porn access probably isn’t why young adults today are having less sex. Read my take on this idea here.]

Lisa Ling: That's true. That's certainly true. And you know, I think NoFap, is very clear or it asserts that it's not a medically sanctioned website. But what it is is people sharing what has been working for them. I think one of the reasons why it hasn't been deemed a certified, bonafide addiction is because it's harder to get information about how to stop. Right? And so people have had to resort to seeking out information on their own and seeking support from people who are going through the same thing.

I mean, our second episode is about benzodiazepines—and these are some of the most widely prescribed medications on the planet, right? And doctors, in many cases, do not know how to taper people off of benzos. So what are people doing? They're going to these non-medically sanctioned websites and getting information and learning these very meticulous taper methods that are saving their lives. None of them are medically sanctioned.

So if it's working for people, and people are finding themselves in such a desperate situation, that they're seeking out help and guidance from people they don't even know because they're not being offered the right kind of information from doctors, I mean, that's kind of where we are with pornography. And also, let's say you do believe you have an addiction and your insurance doesn't pay for therapy. How are you ever going to get medical help when your insurance doesn't cover it? You're going to seek it out online amongst people who are dealing with the same things.

Justin Lehmiller: I think we're in agreement that we want people to be able to get help and to know that the help is going to work. But there's also a really big impediment for us to having the accurate medical knowledge we need about pornography, which is that there's really no federal funding available for people who want to do research on porn. And so there is sort of this roadblock if we want a design interventions or treatments or, you know, just really study porn. This is why I think our knowledge base is so limited and why a lot of these non-scientific, non-medical platforms are taking off. It's, in part, because they're filling this void that is not currently being addressed because there just isn't the funding to do the research we need.

Lisa Ling: There's the funding we need to do the research. And most of our insurance will not pay for the therapeutic services that people might need to even figure out what may have spurred someone to seek out porn.

Justin Lehmiller: I think that's a great point, that access to care is another big part of the issue that leads people to seek out these informal, non-medical platforms. With greater access to care, we could ensure that more people get the help they truly need, rather than feeling like their only option is to seek out information online that isn’t based in scientific research.

Now, given all of the people out there claiming that porn is “addictive” and fundamentally damaging, some are calling for bans on pornography and restrictions on porn access. Do you think that bans and restrictions are the answer to these problems or do you think it's really more about improving sex education and sexual communication?

Lisa Ling: I think that we could ameliorate a good part of it by educating kids about what sex is really like and what it's supposed to be like. I think that having those open conversations would do a lot for the issue—do a lot to alleviate some of the concerns. Porn is the only exposure some kids may be getting to sex. It's inevitable that would skew your perception, you know? So I think opening up the dialogue would at least get us one step closer to having a more sort of normal perception of what sex is and what relationships should be.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology ? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook (facebook.com/psychologyofsex), Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit (reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex) to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Source: CNN