#{ the way this is her first thread LMFAO brutal }

[pcguelife]

closed // this was supposed to be way shorter than it is lol // @razorfst

⸺  𝗦𝗛𝗘  𝗛𝗔𝗦  𝗡𝗢  𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗  𝗧𝗢  𝗧𝗔𝗣  𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢  𝗧𝗛𝗘  𝗟𝗬𝗖𝗔𝗡  abilities  which  lie  beneath  the  surface  in  order  to  hear  her  heart  beat  ;  it  roars  in  her  ears  and  restricts  the  column  of  her  throat  with  each  step  toward  the  cabin  .  the  brunette  knows  there  are  probably  eyes  on  her  already  ,  but  it  is  not  until  those  familiar  jade  hues  appear  that  her  breath  hitches  .  for  a  moment  , adriana  regrets  coming  .  five  hours  is  an  insane  drive  to  make  for  someone  who  may  not  even  want  to  see  her  .  but  cezar  had  seemed  to  believe  in  them  , to be rooting for them -  at  least  enough  to  let  her  in  on  the  cabin's  location  .  he'd  kept  it  from  her  ,  or  so  he'd  said  -  giving  the  young  wolf  enough  time  to  get  to  andrei  and  feel  out  the  situation  without  the  hindrance  of  another  ex  vying  for  his  affection  .

footsteps  come  to  a  gradual  halt  ,  a  good  few  yards  left  between  herself  and  the  man  she  -  still  -  loves  .  ❝  hi  ,  ❞  she  offers  ,  pulling  the  sunglasses  from  her  own  countenance  as  she  levels  an  unreadable  gaze  to  his  .  ❝  cezar  told  me  where  to  find  you  . . .  he  said  you  were  here for  a  week  .  ❞  for  anyone  else  it  would  seem  a  typical  vacation  .  but  for  a  man  as  busy  -  as  needed  -  as  andrei  ,  a  week  alone  is  a  sign  that  something  has  gone  horribly  wrong  .  it  had  simply  never  occurred  to  her  that  leaving  would  be  so  horrible  .  the  fight  had  been  awful  ;  after  so  much  effort  to  push  her  away  ,  adriana  had figured  it  would  be  easier  for  everyone  if  she  just  finally took  the  bait  and  left  .  she  hadn't  anticipated  ,  however  ,  the  crippling  heartbreak  that  would  apparently befall  them  both  once  she  did  .

she'd  waited  until  the  next  morning  ,  listening  out  for  andrei  to  leave  for  work  before  quickly  scribing  an  apologetic  letter  and  leaving  it  folded  on  his  pillow  .  she'd  gathered  her  things  quickly  ,  tearfully  thanking  each  staff  member  she  passed  on  her  way  out  of  the  penthouse  -  and  out  of  his  life  .  when  all  was  said  and  done  ,  it  only  took  her  about a  day  and  a  half  to  realize  how  badly  she'd  fucked  up  .  so  after  a  miniature  investigation  with  the  aid  of  her  sister  ,  here  she  is  ;  forcing  deep  breaths  and  preparing  herself  for  whatever  reaction  may  come  her  way  .  whatever  he  says  ,  whatever  he  does  ,  she  deserves  it  ;  adriana  knows  that  .  so  she  remains  rooted  in  place  ,  small  forelimbs  folding  over  her  torso  in  a  self  soothing  manner  .  ❝  i  was  kind  of  . . .  hoping  we  could  talk  .  ❞

[diverse-hearts-a]

Merry Christmas!

Another year is passing us by and my return to Tumblr has been made even more enjoyable with the amazing friendships to have been built. I truly wish to get to know each everyone of you out there and I look forward to seeing what stories we build together in the new year! Thank you for dealing with my randomness, my inbox invasions, the fact that most of my characters seem to either be angry, murderous or both. I was more than a little worried about moving not only into different fandoms but to a multimuse too. My first multimuse failed so badly but this one seems to only be improving - thanks to all of your acceptance. I apologise for the tag spam below the read more xD

@jxngsterunterboss - Alice I love you and I shall always love you. We’ve known one another for YEARS now and it’s been such a delight to get to speak with you even more, to get to learn more about you and to be able to call you a friend. I hope that the next year is kinder to you, that you can grow to have just that little bit more confidence in yourself and your skills. You’re an amazing friend, an amazing writer and a darn good artist, I wish you could see what I see in you sometimes <3. Merry Christmas hun x

@frozcnhearts - BRO BRO. I honestly could just leave it at that lmfao! We’ve certaintly had our ups and down over the years but I’m glad we’ve stuck together. You’re such a good friend to have, put up with so much of my randomness and got me hooked on a new gatcha game like the evil person you are. But I got you into BSD so we’re even right? I love the little family we’ve built up, love writing with you, talking with you - here’s to many more years!

@shrimps-variety-garden - My tumblr wife, one of the newest additions to the circle of friends to be made on this hellsite. I’m glad we got past the shyness in order to build the friendship that we now have. It’ll be nice to get to know you even more in the new year. Thanks for being an amazing friend and for welcoming my angsty self to put our characters through hell /o/

@crmnpnshmnt - 404! My love! Another new friendship I’ve come to treasure. It’s always such a joy to speak with you, to write with you, to spam one another with pain and to send Alice slowly insane xDD I hope to get to know you more, going forward into the new year. Let us continue our reign of terror :D

@agent-candyfloss - BEEEEEEE - You shall forever be Dad no matter how young you actually are lol It’s been a few years now since we’ve met and you’ve always proved to be such a bright, smart and kind hearted person. May we whine about Karens together for years to come yet :D

@witheredhexrts - just because your on hiatus, don’t think you get to avoid my love. My Angel, we all miss you lots but at the same time are proud of the hard work you’ve been putting into your studies. We shall forever be there when you need someone to talk with or just a break. You’re doing so well but please don’t forget to look after yourself!! Love you Angel x

@nycttophilic - KIKI ~ I thank you for being so welcoming, for being so mature and kind hearted and never seeming to mind my random fan girl moments or that I like to bring pain to the softest of characters :D Your a joy to speak with and I really am glad I get to call you a friend x Here’s to many more years!

@hasjoinedthechatroom - AHA! I bet you thought I forgot you *squeezes* Kiwi ~ you are a star. You manage so many muses, so many blogs, scream about OCs and I can’t get enough of it. You deal with my slow ass and I thank you for that. The pain we spread between Seven and Mai in particular has been rather enjoyable and such a mess xDD Your stuck being my friend now >:3

@somegremlin - To think I was super duper shy once upon a time around you. You shall forever be stuck with the curse of the Mori icons >:3 Honestly, not only have you made me fall in love with a character I gave not too much thought to before writing with you, you’ve just been amazing in general - always able to offer advice or just make others laugh. You’re such a kind hearted person and I’m glad we’re friends xx

@jinxo - Fellow island dweller and lover of ChuuAtsu! Trish, your great to speak to, great to plot pain with and though your appearance can seem rather random at times, they are always more than welcomed. I’m glad to have met you! Let’s continue to spread chaos into the new year :D

@kaibagirl007 - one of the people who tempted me back to writing my Yugioh muses. You’ve been a dear friend to me over the years now and I’m always so happy to see you around. I’ll always be here as you have been for me, never feel afraid to poke my IMs whenever you need a friendly ear to listen. I love you hun x I hope 2020 is good to you and your family!

@adonaiis - I’m so happy to be able to keep writing with you. You’re such a talented individual who captures her muses so well and I actually really love the no bullshit attitude that you toss towards the dash, it’s never done in a cruel way, not brutal honesty at times and yet you’re such a sweetheart! I wish you all the best for 2020!

Special thank you goes to @protectheweak, @dcfygraviity, @madamhatter @yokohamaweretiger, @lilstrawbxrry @lenny-pooh and @nicholas-wolfwood - for just being awesome to write with, speak with and following me from blog to blog without losing your mind. You deal with my slow ass but always willing to speak with me and come to me with new ideas too! I hope to become closer friends in the future! Keep being creative guys! You’re all amazing and talented and I stalk way too many of your threads :D

A HUGE hug and lots of kisses given to all of those on the BSD server! All of you have given such a warm, safe and loving place for us to gather and scream over not just BSD but other fandoms too - not to mention the clowning that happens in the mayoi chat. We shall forever suffer together. I hope to be able to reach out to each and everyone of you more in the future. My inbox is forever open so your always free to spam me!

I apologize if I missed anyone. I truly do love everyone that I get to interact with and though I am a shy potato - I look forward to the new relationships and friendships that will be built in 2020. Thank you each and everyone of you who deal with my chaotic energy. Here’s to the new year! xx

[cuddleslutloki]

2018 fics, a year in review

i’m a madman, but even my crazy ass probably won’t finish and post another fic in the last 6 hours of 2018, so here are all the fics i posted on ao3 this year, plus some thoughts on each!

Hemlock Honey and Silver

this was my last ever supernatural fandom fic. literally the end of an era for me since i was in the spn fandom for so damn long and wrote so much fic, about two-thirds of which has been orphaned on the archive at this point because i didn’t like the stories anymore lol. 

i do like that one, though, and i’m actually alright with it being my last ever spn/destiel fic

Fire In Your Veins

this was my first time posting thorki fic! i was so, so nervous about it, but everyone in this fandom is so chill and lovely. i still like this one, and i don’t think i write enough 69ing lmao. also this fic was obvs the start of something bigger bc. i mean. i’ve written so much damn fic now lol since i only started posting in june. i was worried that i wasn’t going to be writing anymore, or that i’d never be posting on ao3 again because it had been literally 2 full years between hemlock honey and silver and the fic that preceded it. then i fell into thorki and i started writing fic and it’s just been such a huge, huge thing. bc i’m also writing original stuff again for the first time in forever.

Underdressed and All Out of Time

a direct sequel to fire in your veins, i really like it. i felt like i was able to characterize loki fairly well in this one bc i was very insecure about the way i wrote loki when i started out

A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them

who doesn’t love a fic title from a hozier song? i remember writing this fic and wondering if it was any good and if my characterization was okay and still being nervous and insecure in my writing, but it’s been very well received so i kinda got my inner critic to stfu which is nice lol. i also really enjoyed doing this vignette style story

To Always Face the Sun

what if :) loki was happy :) and thor had his brother back :) lol i really liked writing this and having loki being such a little shit tbh. can we tell that i like a happy ending in fic?

Blue On Gold

so i wrote an arranged marriage fic where they never actually get married and it’s still 15.8k lmfao. also the return of the vignette style, which was fun bc i got to do short, impactful scenes and build the narrative with them. i remember sitting at my desk at work, on my phone, writing this fic, then coming home and editing on a damn tablet bc my laptop bricked earlier this year

the warmth of your doorway

i meant to capitalize the title but at this point i’ve decided to leave it lol. i really loved writing this bc i felt very confident in the way i was building the scenes and the detail i was able to incorporate. i feel like this is where i really kinda go my voice back and i start to come into my own, if that makes sense? one of my fave fics i’ve ever written tbh. there’s a longer ‘verse for this, but after i finished this fic i got too distracted by new projects to try and continue it lol

Tell Me

this was my first trans!loki fic and he’s a trans man, and god i love it. i’ve got another ftm loki story as a WIP in my gdocs bc this story showed me how much i fucking love writing trans characters, and i really enjoyed the dynamic i put into this fic. there’s a sequel planned lol it’s gonna be dirty

Interwoven

i still haven’t managed to ever find the post that inspired this damn fic and if you wonder whether that drives me up the wall the answer is yes (: and fun fact! i intentionally never describe loki’s genitals in this fic, bc i was picturing him as a trans guy since i’d just written tell me and now i have a massive obsession with writing trans romance and erotica

Tie Breaker

in this house we love and appreciate bottom thor!!! also i loved writing the sparring at the beginning. it makes me wanna write more fics w/ brutal fight scenes lol. thor’s slutty drunk cape outfit is iconic and i’m gonna read that comic just for that outfit honestly

Pretense of Subjugation

i became drunkenly obsessed with loki manspreading on the throne of asgard and this was the result. this was the first thorki fic of mine that i’d had beta’d and it was vastly, vastly improved by it. the tips @ktspree13 gave me when she helped with this fic have affected literally every single fic i’ve written since

Double and More

so this is not the first thorki fic i ever posted, of course, however it is the first i ever started writing. i got to the point where loki’s in thor’s lap and then i kinda blanked out and let the fic sit for like... 2 or 3 months? then i opened it back up and i was like “oh i like this i should finish this” which is why i don’t delete anything anymore bc there’s always a chance i’ll come back to it

Ringback Tone

y’all owe @thotki for the wondrous idea they presented in discord that ended up creating this fic. i think i wrote this fic in like 3 days bc of how much fun i was having with it. the dirty talk was my favorite thing to write in this and i remember distinctly having this [:< moment when i was daydreaming about it

Seldom All They Seem

there was an impromptu bottom thor day back on 20 oct and this fic was my contribution. we can never have enough time travel, can we? i remember i think i took like a four day weekend from work and part of my motivation was literally wanting to finish this fic in time to post it lmfao

Fluffy Thorki Sunday Ficlets

i started doing fluffy thorki sunday back when i was on bourbonbucky and i continued it here, and i’m proud that i’ve written at least 1 piece for fluffy thorki sunday every sunday since i started. i love doing fluff and smut, and honestly even when my mood has been shit, i’ve always felt motivated to try and improve it at least enough to write some nice fluff. i put all of these on ao3 once i moved blogs

Let Love Disrupt

this is another fic we owe to discord lmao. i remember posting this when i was either very drunk or very tired and having to keep going onto ao3 on my damn phone browser to correct minor shit, and some not so minor shit like a typo in the title bc at first it said “distrupt” and that’s why i only post when i’m awake and sober now lmfao

Without Fear

i love werewolves (: a whole bunch (: and this fic is something dirty and wonderful that i’m proud of and THERE’S ART bc @nekokat42 is a blessing and takes commissions. kot i love u :3

On the Other Side Like Always

i have a lot of feelings about this fic. there’s an entire future in this ‘verse that i would so love to write, but i’m stuck on where to go with it. as it stands i am satisfied with this as a story of thor and loki coming together, and a story about how loki does something out of desperation but is finally given something genuine and comforting in his life like he’s always deserved. THERE’S ART from the wondrous @boltplumart / @mrhiddles bc allie is perfect :]

Runaway

when i tell y’all i’m a trash gremlin king. i do have a thing for writing underage characters with adults (probs due to messy personal history lmfao ain’t gonna look at that too closely) and so writing this one was a fun little bit of self indulgence. also it’s dirty and really plays into codependency, which i always like writing bc it’s a fun thing to explore in fiction

Sunset Rhapsody

this fic. was supposed to be. two thousand words. at most. then thor smiled at me, as the writer, and was like “i want to own him” and we ended up with 11k of thor’s obsessive bs and loki being brutal. joking aside, i love this fic, i love what i did with it, i have an original story i wanna write for my size kink anthology that will follow a similar thread to this one. also that torture scene. i don’t recall if i ever properly wrote torture before, but this did kinda make me squirm a bit when i was writing it and if you’ve read it you know precisely which scene i’m talking about lmfao

Right to Guard

this fic was honestly very emotionally satisfying for me in a pretty visceral way. writing thor just surrendering to love and spoiling the fuck out of loki was pretty damn cathartic. 

A Bite of Lamb

me making sure i never lose my title as a trash gremlin king. honestly writing thor’s POV in this fic was like >.> at myself a couple times bc it felt distinctly dark in a way i’d never written another character. a very, very unhealthy kind of obsession and this twisted logic where he’s trying to make it all okay. i really fucking love this damn fic tho and i’m happy with how it came out. 

Seamless

i was so, so frustrated and pissed off at work that i needed to let that shit out, so that was channeled into this very guilt-ridden turned tender fic, and i really enjoyed writing it. loved writing thor taking care of his baby sister. also! KOT IS FUCKING AMAZING and drew this bc they’re such a good fucking person ;A; like they sent me a message and just said “really liked this scene” and i was D Y I N G and i still am. thank you again, kot!

The Way A Rose Blooms

this was written for the thorki secret santa exchange! i drew @chickcheney and honestly the list of prompts was so, so good. bottom thor, arranged marriage, semi-public sex and trying not to be caught, body worship. i was like “damn did i draw myself wtf” bc that is all up my alley. 

Sugar Cookie

i honestly could not think of a better fic to finish off 2018 for me than sugar cookie. porn and emotions that’s all this is, but it features loki as a trans woman being loved and appreciated as she is with nothing extra expected of her and it was so satisfying to write. it makes me want to write original romance with trans women, which i’ll definitely do bc i loved writing this hungry and tender story and i’m very happy with how i ended it. 

so that was 2018 for me! 

[sclfmastery]

Mun Questions Meme - 3, 4, 5, 11, 23, 26 & 29.

Do you have a favorite AU?My entire blog at this point is an AU, lol.  It’s kind of a necessity because I’m committed to this particular iteration of the Master (wonderful as they are in all their faces) and in canon it’s heavily implied that he’s regenerated into Missy by the end of The Doctor Falls.  So in the sense that I have AU’s, they are literally all at least canon-divergent after the end of Series Ten.  I think my favorite AU’s are those in which he survived Missy’s stabbing and reconciled with the Thirteenth Doctor some time after her own regeneration.  Both Simm and Missy have shown us that the Master is capable of contrition and redemption; that combined with the fact that Thirteen has regained the hopefulness that the Doctor lost for several faces tell me that it’s an ideal combination for a real Thoschei reconciliation.  Simm has seem the future, has seen his own stupidity, and knows the choices Missy is willing to make on the Doctor’s behalf. With some soul-searching he’d realize that’s what he, too, wants: his friend back.  And Thirteen is surely contrite for Twelve’s misguided attempts to “rehabilitate” Missy.  They’d both be willing to listen to each other now. 

Name one thing you don’t like about your character.I don’t like his limitless capacity for cruelty.  Which often makes it difficult to write him, considering it’s  such an enormous part of his mature character.  But again, the ability to crush his enemies (and friends) and the CHOICE not to, are such a compelling challenge for a writer, that I keep coming back for more. 

Name one thing you love about your character.His persistence, and his resilience.  His defiance.  His certitude that his path is right (which on the flip side can be a reckless arrogance), even if he must tread it alone.  His strength of resolve.  He is a lion, brutal though he may be. 

What one character you’ve thought of RPing but haven’t yet?Oh there are several, LOL. But I’m notorious for multi-tasking past my limits, and having, as a friend recently told me (god, I cringed) “fickle” muses.  So I’m trying to limit myself from making still more blogs. For some reason, having a multimuse has never worked for me; I like to fixate singularly on a character, and make sideblogs for weaker or rarer muses.  So unless I want literally like 15 blogs...lol.... Anyway the characters I’ve thought of rping.  Rhys Griffiths from The Catch is the most recent urge, and he still hasn’t gone away.  John Simm plays him, too, but he’s so similar to the Simm Master (with several notable differences, including a way more laid-back, lazy disposition) that despite him being a delightful disaster (my kind of character LOL), I decided instead to make a Mob Boss AU (Rhys is an English mob boss who hands the title over to his sister in favor of working with his best friend, a con man, as a consultant to the FBI).  I dunno, I may cave in, aside the fact that the show only lasted 2 seasons and the fandom is nonexistent.  Other characters: Sebastian Moran and Irene Adler from Sherlock Holmes.  I’ve played Sebastian before, for years, but since I ship him with Jim Moriarty and I have a Jim blog, I’m still hoping someone else’s Sebastian will show up on the regular (and also be of age...cause...yeah I won’t do nsfw threads with minors. EVER.)  Irene is like a huge thorn in my side because original books Irene is a goddess but nobody, except maybe the Jeremy Brett series Irene and the Rachel McAdams Irene, has ever portrayed her anywhere close to book canon.   So I’m like “FINE, I’ll just do it!” lmao.  I’m still seriously considering her.  

What fandom do you like but have never interacted with?I can’t think of any honestly.  If I like a fandom I pretty much intrepidly dive in.  That’s exactly my problem lmfao. 

Name one thing about your character(s) that no one knows about.This is also challenging because I LOVE sharing headcanons lmfao.  Maybe this: He really liked being a woman before (yeah, I headcanon that Missy isn’t the first Time Lady Master, because it makes zero sense in a nonbinary gender-liberated society???) and looming a child.  He would actually like to be a woman again, and even to try old-fashioned pre-looming pregnancy, but he’s very leery of regenerating, because he has ambivalent feelings about becoming Missy (much as he adores and worships her, lol) given his last experience with her.  So likely nothing will ever come of this. 

If your character(s) were paint colors, what would their paint color names be? (Go silly if you want!)

Black hole; smoldering red resentment; belly fire; absent night; LOL. Terrifying variations on red and black.