#{ This is the same exact result I got last time when I did this quiz for Koui. }

[promiscxous]

. ◞ * ♡   What   were   your   hands   meant  to  do  ?

Create.

Maybe there aren’t any gods, but you can build your own world. You are driven, but for what? For something to calm the storm in your mind, or to shake the world with your own thunder? Endlessly searching for answers only our own reflections can tell you. You long for people in eras after this to see the scratches you left, and you love the ones left from ages past. When you taste spice, you savor it. You want to climb to the top of the world and scream ‘I was here!’. You are wind, its endless flow, its eternity, the way it turns itself into song.

Tagged by: @tenebrispxnea​​

Tagging: @casketcat​ (for mercury please because I need more for them) and anyone else can just steal this and tag me.

[gregorygerwitz]

Always asking for elaboration! This time on the soldier, poet, king post, regarding the mice!

I'm gonna guess Brandon poet, mouse Soldier, Gregory king?

I can't tell if the boys or me are the predictable factor in this scenario, because you're the second person to get it exactly right.

Mouse is the soldier. Brandon is the poet. Gregory is the king.

I was already thinking about this in the car on my drive home yesterday, and then I'm getting a bunch of videos about the quiz and what the results mean on my tiktok fyp, so I only thought about it more last night instead of writing or sleeping. Two videos in particular (I screenshotted one and have the other burned into my brain, but no links, sorry) really solidified my choices for each of the Mice, and that's where the elaboration/essay comes in:

One of the videos was about trauma, and how each type (soldier/poet/king) does or doesn't process and work through it. And I was already settled on Mouse as the soldier and Gregory as the king, but Brandon, up until that point, had been the poet by default because that's the third option. But this tiktok...

Kings, like Gregory, are "people who compare their trauma to others' instead of reflecting to find their own answers." And... yeah. I talk about Gregory basically wearing a mask and pretending to be something he's not for his parents' approval. He's constantly being compared to others and their accomplishments and what they have and don't have, even if he's not necessarily being hard on himself. He's held to a higher standard, by his parents and by society. And he has all this money and this comfortable life, so really, he shouldn't be miserable. He has to push down the ache that comes with pretending so often and be this representation for his family legacy, and that is what matters, not trying to figure out if he needs therapy or not (he does he does he does he doe-)

Soldiers, like Mouse, are "people who don't think they deserve to process their trauma and struggle alone." And, I mean, as soon as I looked at the options for this little personality test, I knew Mouse was gonna be the soldier. He literally says it himself in canon. He was born to be a soldier. All of his trauma is from his childhood or a war zone - situations he got out of, he got to escape, he got to start to heal from. But the way he sees it, he's not in those situations anymore, so why is he still upset about them? Why do they still affect him so much? He hasn't talked to his parents in years. He's been in Chicago again for half a decade again before he reenlists. Even when he reenlists, he's too busy facing new trauma and danger to worry about the old wounds.

Poets, like Brandon, are "people who painstakingly think about their trauma to help others while inevitably avoiding their own trauma." I think this fits Brandon, especially, when I consider how he grew up. He grew up watching Trudy walk out the door every morning not knowing if she was going to come back, with his uncles doing the exact same thing, listening to the police scanner when he got home from school just to have on in the background while he did homework or laundry because it was some hollow reassurance that he could know what was going on if something did happen to go wrong. He grew up doing favors for Uncle Hank - picking up Erin when she got into some trouble, doing the same with Justin, eventually playing undercover himself to sit in the back of the theater and keep an eye on things when Lexi went on dates. He played the role of well behaved son, protective cousin, reliable nephew... he was too busy worrying about everyone else to take the time to worry about himself.

The other tiktok I haven't stopped thinking about for almost 24 hours was just one line: the king is just a poet who had to be a soldier. And in the context of the Mice... it just really hurts to think about too much. I love suffering.

[detective-dr-curious]

"you are not oblidged to know how to do something you've never done before"

seems like a very obvious thing right? but even so i just stared at that phrase for literally half an hour, rethinking my whole life.

and its so funny, becuase, schools for example, right?

we are taught things, necessary unnecessary that's another discussion, but we are taught things we generally don't know right? and we are supposed to be learning that stuff right? but also we are immediaetly given homework the very same week and are already expected to be able to do it perfectly, somehow. and same with exams, which just seem endless once the semester begins. which becomes extremely apparent especially when i moved from europe to the us to study.

let me expalin: it's so funny that each homework and quiz and whatever else is counted within the final grade of the course and as a result your gpa, in the us. in my understanding, this means that every single thing you do from start to finish in your semester will result in your gpa being affected.

and here's the thing, in europe homeworks don't count towards your grade, generally. the only thing that counts is if you DID them, again at least where i am from. and just to put it out there, I changed 10+ schools within the 12 grades of school, before going to college, so this wasn't something that only one school had.

and here's the thing, this has NOTHING TO DO WITH EU VS US this is just purely about expectations, becuase at least I PERSONALLY am so used to have this expectation of doing something PERFECTLY the first time that- this phrase had me shocked, sitting at my desk staring at the screen for good 4 minutes.

becuase this expectation was put on me by my parents, by my friends, classmates, teachers and naturally i also now have this expectation of myself but just how wrong is that?

if we go back to the example of schools, if we are meant to be learning, then how come failing classes is a thing? like, i am in college, i have to write lab reports every week, and let me tell you, when i was taking organic chemistry together with its lab (mandatory) I HAD ZERO CLUE ON HOW TO WRITE A LAB REPORT. Becuase i just never had to.

I WAS NOT OBLIDGED TO KNOW HOW TO INSTANTLY WRITE AN A++ LAB REPORT and yet I got 6 or 7 Fs in a row and only passed that class thanks to a C, two Bs and the very last report on which I got my first A ever in that class, passing with an exact narrow window of 70.31. And oh, did i mention that one of my friends who was in the same exchange program as i was and with the same exact cluelessness having failed that class with an avergae of 69.57? oh and the fact that if you fail the lab, you automatically fail the associated class?

and funny enough, i am taking biochemistry right now, again, together with its mandatory lab, and guess what? spare for the last report that i submitted, which was extremely rushed, i dont have any grade that's below an A rn. that is, i actually LEARNED how to write those reports, with each F that i got.

perfect. wonderful. abolutely fantastic.

except may i remind you that it almost cost me 4 ENTIRE CREDITS??? AND WHO KNOWS HOW MANY DOLLARS???

like yeah, the overarching goal of learning was accomplished, sure, but only becuase of my own ability to quickly gain a skill that i was expected to know! AND I WAS NOT OBLIDGED TO KNOW HOW TO DO SOMETHING I HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE!

the thing is, people might disagree with me, becuase apparently you guys do learn how to use the MLA format in high school and how to cite correctly and how to write scientifically acceptable lab reports, so this is more of a foreign students thing than it is general, but please zoom out and look at the bigger picture and at your own life. how many things are expected daily of you that you had never done before? and worst of all, have you ever been laughed at for not being able to do something like this?

add in the fact that i have a very competitve nature, both since birth and due to my environment, as well as very high standards from myself and, well, yeah. mental breakdowns guaranteed.

so, after reading a phrase said by a character comforting another one after their first unsuccesful attempt at sucking dick, i am here to tell you that it's okay if you don't succeed at something on your first try. even if you were labelled as the smart kid, the gifted kid, or if your whole personality is / was based around being the intelligent / capable one.

[parvulous-writings]

Not so Wyld morning // Bill S Preston + Ted Logan x M!Reader

Request:     can you write a fluff oneshot with bill (s preston) x ted logan x m! reader with like. a sleepy morning between the three?

Requested by: @mlmpunisher​

Summary: Starts off as the request, and then goes off on a trip to the Circle K. I may or may not have gotten carried away. 

Warnings: a brief joke about kidnapping/death.

Words: 3.5K

Notes:  I’ve been waiting for an idea/request for these two. They’re my comfort idiots. My love for them... Let’s just say I watch the movies a fair amount, eh? My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist! Original character list - please request for these too!

Not my gif 

You, Bill and Ted were spread rather haphazardly over Bill’s bed. Legs crossed over one another, hands on chests or in faces. You were all tangled together, not that any of you really cared about that at that moment.  You had all fallen asleep during a study session- you had been desperately trying to tutor your boyfriends Bill and Ted, so that they didn’t fail their history class and completely flunk out of school- mostly because Ted’s father, Captain Logan, was threatening to send the taller boy away to an Alaskan military school to whip him into shape should he fail the semester. That was now an all too real threat to the three of you, none of you wanted to get pulled apart from one another. You had been trying to quiz them on the philosophies of the great Athenian thinker Socrates (whom both young men insisted on pronouncing So-Crates no matter how many times you corrected them) when you passed out one by one. First Ted- who was up against the headboard, and whose head had slumped forward when you had gotten onto the fifth or sixth question. Then Bill, draped over Ted’s legs, after leaning back to protest about how the quiz was starting to become “A total drag,” around the tenth question. He had promptly passed out whilst you were telling him it was for their own good- you weren’t all that surprised when you were interrupted by a rather loud snore coming from the curly-haired Bill.You hadn’t bothered to try and wake either of them- not only would they both be rather irritable if you woke them up too early, but it was nearly one o’clock in the morning at that point, so you figured that perhaps they were both subconsciously onto something.  You had taken the range and array of textbooks off of the bed, creating a little more space for you to somehow work yourself between them and get more comfortable to get some sleep of your own. After some shuffling, and a few murmurs from both Bill and Ted, you had found the perfect position, where you had promptly fallen asleep with them.

You were the first to wake up. Ted had taken your arm in both of his in your sleep, cuddling it as if it were a teddy bear. Bill’s legs had somehow tangled with yours, and he had ended up nuzzled into the side of your chest, not that you minded all that much. Though Ted was the more affectionate of your boyfriends in public, Bill could be just as affectionate as him in private. You tried not to move at first, not wanting to disturb them- they could both be as bad as each other when it came to being woken up too early (too early was counted as anything before they woke up by themselves). So, for what you had gauged to be about twenty minutes or so, you just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. There were no thoughts of any importance that drifted through your mind at this point, not until you had finally grown restless enough to carefully push yourself up onto one elbow to check the time on Bill’s alarm clock- which he rarely actually used as anything more than just a normal clock. It had just gone half past ten, and you felt your eyes go wide- that was much later than you had anticipated. Thankfully it was a weekend, though briefly your brain had tricked itself into thinking it was mid-week, causing even more of a jolt in your chest. You would have to get up soon to make your way back home; it was bad enough that you had spent the night out without letting your parents know that you’d be out past eleven o’clock. Every moment past nine in the morning that you spent away from them, the angrier they would get with you.  With this thought in mind you tried to push yourself up a little bit more, fully prepared to undertake the rather massive task of trying to begrudgingly untangle yourself from the two men you held dear, but you were quickly brought back down again by an unseen hand. Your head landed on Ted’s stomach, and you glanced over to him, seeing him peering back at you through tired eyes and a rather messy head of hair. He gave you a rather dopey smile, and you realised he was the one to pull you back; mostly prompted by the fact that Bill was giving another round of freight-train like snores. Ted’s head fell back again when you didn’t struggle against his protests of getting out of bed, and he gave a yawn before beginning to speak. “Morning, chief.” He mumbled, voice still raspy with the last dregs of sleep his body was trying to cling onto.  “I don’t get why you call me that.” You replied in a whisper, trying not to wake Bill. “Surely I should be the one calling you that- given your dad’s job and everything...”  “Eh,” Was Ted’s simple reply, accompanied with a rather lazy shrug. It was about a minute before the only other boy awake in the room started to speak again. “I mean, it does kind of suit you, doesn’t it? You keep me and Bill in order...” He prompted, glancing over to you with that same goofy smile, before his gaze moved back to the ceiling.  “For the most part, I guess.” You smiled back at him, taking his hand and draping his arm across you, so you could play absently with his fingers. Ted never minded that. 

The pair of you fell into a comfortable silence, which was disturbed only briefly, and rather inconsistently, by Bill’s snores. You weren’t sure how long you laid there for this time, but the rather delightful monotonous repetition was ultimately interrupted by a quiet groan of protest from the blonde haired boy at the end of the bed. He rolled onto his front, trying to cover his eyes- he had fallen asleep rather inconveniently where the light peaked through the blinds in the early morning. “Someone close the blinds,” He complained, trying to turn away from them but ultimately failing.  “Bill...” You chuckled lightly, nudging him to get his attention. “They are closed. The light is coming through the gap.” Your words were only met with a groan from Bill, and a stifled laugh from Ted.  “You should get it fixed, dude.” The taller boy jested, nudging the boy again, and Bill responded with a half-hearted swipe at Ted’s foot.  “Shut up, Ted.” Of course, he didn’t mean this in an inherently horrid way, despite his gruff tone. He loved both you and Ted deeply, more than he could love anything else- or at least that was what he thought. Ted thought very much the same thing- though that was no surprise. More often than not, it was like the two shared the exact same brain. If they were not thinking of the exact same plan down to the detail when it came to schemes, they were at the very least agreed on the end result. Most of the time this wasn’t too much of a problem for you- usually you were at the butt end of whatever shenanigan they were plotting- but there were times when you did get a little bit overwhelmed by the pair of them. More often than not, the times where you got overwhelmed involved a very particular phone-booth, with some rather unique properties. Unless you were in it’s presence you tried not to think about it- the amount of times you had been put through mind-bending situations already made your head spin to even consider again. They’d predict something, it would happen immediately after said prediction, then they would turn to one another and proclaim a quick “Excellent!” before reminding one another that they would need to remember that later. You were still a little bit confused by it- especially when they sprung something random on you-but you thought you were slowly starting to understand, even though the concept of time travel didn’t seem quite real. 

You broke your train of thought upon feeling a sudden weight on your chest. Though you wanted to crane your neck to see who it was, you didn’t really need to, you knew it was Bill. You did it anyway- your eyes being met with the golden curls of Bill’s hair. “Bill, love, I’m going to have to get up soon.” You warned him, as your movement would definitely affect him more than Ted.  “No.” He replied simply. From his tone, you could tell he didn’t overly want to debate it.  “But I stayed over without letting my parents-”  “You’re fine, you’re safe, what do they have to complain about?” He grumbled, shuffling so that his chin was on your stomach, his arms wrapped around your middle. His deep green eyes met yours, before flitting briefly to Ted, giving you both a smile. “C’mon, dude. It won’t hurt to have a little longer with us, right?” He asked, and you moved your hand to quickly brush a stray curl from his brow.  “Maybe he should go soon- like, just to check in.” Ted piped up, ever in your corner. “Cause you know what happens if he gets in trouble. He won’t get to see us for like... A week. That is most heinous, and you know it.” At this rather right line of reasoning, Bill groaned, burying his face into the fabric of your shirt.  “Shut up, Ted.” This was quite muffled, and of course still not completely serious. You laughed softly, “Okay- what about this? One hour. Like this.Then, we can ask Missy to drive us back to my place, and I can let my parents know I’m fine, and you two haven’t like... Murdered me, or something.” You joked, and you can feel Ted nod enthusiastically underneath you.  “Yeah, that’s a good idea!” He agreed, and you could hear the smile that was in no doubt plastered onto his face. “Then we can all head down to the Circle K afterwards, right?”  “Sure we can, Ted.” You agreed, reaching up behind you to clumsily pat his cheek.  “Only if he isn’t in trouble, remember?” Bill pitched in, shuffling to get comfortable again. “What about half an hour? If we want to head to Circle K, obviously.” You all consider this new plan for a moment, before each of you gave a curt nod, in unison. 

So there you all stayed- you nearly even fell asleep again before you felt Bill roll off of you. He then took your arm and helped you up, and Ted quickly rolled off of the bed to grab his sneakers. Bill chucked yours at you, before going to get his shoes as well. Ted was the first downstairs- “Hey, Missy?” He called out, and he was quickly met with the young woman’s reply.  “Yeah? What’s up, Ted?” She asked, giving a warm smile.  “We were hoping that you could drive us to (Y/N)’s house?” He asked, briefly wringing his hands, as he eagerly awaited her response.  “Sure thing!” She nodded cheerily, “Let me just finish making these drinks, and I’ll be right with you. You guys go out to the car.” She nodded over to the door leading to the garage. As you and Bill started down the stairs, Ted eagerly gestured for you both to follow him.  It didn’t take Missy very long to finish making the drinks she was preparing, and you all piled into the car. “So- did you all sleep well?” The blonde woman asked, glancing back at you and Bill in the back of the car- Ted had a fascination with sitting in the front seat. Ted and Bill nodded individually; you were the one to verbally reply.  “Yeah, I think we all got a fairly good night sleep.” You give an almost awkward smile. Though, at one point, both of your boyfriends had had some form of crush on her- despite her being quite a few years older than all of you- you hadn’t entirely understood why. You never really mentioned it though.  “Good to hear,” She replied, still wearing that joyful smile. “Hey, Bill- you might need to use the spare key today, the one behind the plant, if you’re staying out late with the boys.” She took a turning as she spoke, keeping her eyes on the road. “Me and your dad are going out for dinner tonight.”  “Okay, Missy- I mean, mom.” Bill replied, quickly correcting himself on his mistake. “Just stop on the corner here,” He told her, gesturing to the side of the road a five minute walk from your house.  “Are you sure?” She asked, glancing over her shoulder as she spoke. “I can take you all the way, if you-”  “No, it’s alright, thanks, Missy.” You interrupt quickly, leaning forward. “Here is fine.” She shrugged, but begrudgingly pulled over. 

“Thanks, Missy!” Ted called after the now fleeting car, giving a wave as well, before jogging to catch up with you and Bill, who had already started to cross the road to get to your street. “I’ll quickly grab some money whilst we’re there,” You told the pair of them, and they nodded.  “I was thinking we could get some slushies.” Ted suggested, giving a wide smile.  “Blue and red?” Bill added, giving a smile of his own, and Ted nodded energetically.  “Our tongues’ll end up as purple, you two know that, right?” You teased with a grin, glancing over your shoulder as Bill laughed heartily. It took Ted a moment longer to get the joke, but he started laughing even harder than Bill when it clicked with him.  “Oh well,” Bill shrugged, a rather mischievous smile. You fell into silence again as you jogged up your driveway, almost wrenching open the door and calling out a hasty “Hey!” to announce your presence to the household and those within it. You quickly made your way to your room, as Bill and Ted quietly entered your home after you, choosing to stay in the hallway- even though they had visited and stayed over at your house many times before. They were both silently hoping that they were making their will to leave relatively soon clear. Your father came into the living room, glancing to the two boys standing awkwardly in the hallway. “Bill, Ted.” He greeted, calmly. Bill mouthed a silent ‘Hi’, whilst Ted just waved. Neither of them wanted to anger your parents- Ted, because he knew how authority figures could be, he’d had experience with his own father, and Bill just didn’t want you to be punished and kept away from them. You came back through as quickly as you could, palming some of your loose change in your hand, making sure you would have enough for a slushie for yourself, and for your boyfriends if they hadn’t brought any money with them- which was more than likely.  “Going out again?” Your father asked you, wanting to make some sort of conversation. You nodded, glancing to him and giving a smile.  “Yeah, heading out to Circle K with Bill and Ted.” You told him. He was a lot more relaxed with the rules than your mother- whom you currently assumed to be out for lunch with one of her friends.  “Did your study session go well, then?”  “Yeah- we went over Socrates again. We all passed out- that’s why I didn’t come home or call last night.” Your father laughed gently, he understood.  “I figured as much. Your mother was saying that you could have been kidnapped- but I kept saying you’re a smart kid, you’d know what to do if that were a risk. Plus, I don’t think there’s anyone in San Dimas who would want to kidnap you.”  “Even if they did want to steal him away, we’d take whoever it is on,” Bill stated, confidently- nudging Ted.  “Yeah, we would!” The taller boy confirmed with a nod. You giggled and shook your head at the pair. Even your father chuckled gently at them.  “Good to know my son is in safe hands.” Though your father was aware that these two weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed of San Dimas, he wasn’t about to take away some of your only company. Your mother had brought it up to him before, but he usually elected to ignore the comments. “Anyway- get going, before your mother gets back. If she sees you going off with these to again without checking in properly she’ll have a fit.” He gestured to the door, “Just be back by eleven tonight, alright?”  “We’ll have him back by then!” Ted told him, opening the door and striding out, followed closely by Bill, and then you. Your father gave a wave, before heading back into your family home. 

There were few words on the journey to the local orange ringed store, you only started to speak again when you had each purchased your chosen flavour of slushie. Bill with strawberry, Ted with blue raspberry, and you with another blue raspberry. You all took a seat on the curb, and you decided to fill the silence with one of the first thoughts that came to your head mid-sip. “So, are you two ready for the end-of-semester presentation Mr Ryan is going to assign?” You asked, and both of your boyfriends looked rather shocked. “What? He’s done it with every other year-group, and we’re not exactly different, specification wise....” You pointed out, and Ted groaned.  “I suck at presentations.” He complained, “Plus neither of us can remember anything that Mr Ryan has taught us!” He exclaimed, gesturing rather wildly with his slushie. “I mean, even with your help, dude, I don’t think we’re going to do all that well.” You were about to speak, but Bill was the one to step in first.  “We gotta try, man,” He placed an affectionate hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder, “If we don’t, it’s even more likely that you’re going to be sent off to that heinous school in Alaska.” Ted considered this, then nodded. Bill was right.  “I’ll do everything I can to help my boys remember all they can,” You told them, a fond smile on your face which they quickly returned. They loved being referred to as your boys, they couldn’t even deny it- you could see it in their eyes. Bill leant over and pressed a very brief kiss to your cheek- though not before checking the parking lot was clear, empty of onlookers- and Ted reached across Bill’s legs to grab your hand, squeezing your palm to show some affection; you were too far away for a kiss from him, and he didn’t overly want to get up whilst his slushie was still rather full. He took a sip from the plastic straw in his beverage, before clearing his throat. “So..” He began, starting to grin wider than usual. “Who wants to make purple?” He nudged Bill, who then quickly looked to you, wearing the same grin as your other boyfriend. You started to laugh- of course this had been something that neither of them had forgotten. 

Without another word exchanged between you, you leant to close the gap between you and Bill, letting lips and tongue tangle in a passionate display of affection. Ted stared on adoringly, not overly minding that Bill was the first to get your attention and affection- though now he had finished off the majority of his drink he scuttled round to your other side, carefully taking your jaw in his hand when you eventually pulled away from Bill to catch your breath. Your break didn’t last for too long, since Ted pulled you gently so your already kiss swollen lips met his equally soft ones. Bill couldn’t help the warm and love-filled smile that spread over his face, before he just had to press a kiss to your cheek, and then reach over to Ted’s cheek to make sure he wasn’t left out. You all separated after a minute or so, and you wiped your lip carefully, wearing the same wide and almost goofy smile as the other two. Your lips, and tongue, as predicted, had turned a rather strange shade of purple.  “I think we should get another snack,” Ted suggested, “Cause I’m hungry, and then we can get the colour off of our tongues,” He grinned, and Bill considered the preposition.  “I guess some food wouldn’t hurt...” He agreed, “Marshmallows?” He suggested, which was replied to with a nod from both you and Ted. “I’ll get them then,” Bill smiled at you both, searching his pocket for some spare change as he got to his feet; marshmallows were a fair bit cheaper than slushies, and he could afford them with what he had to hand. Whilst he went back into the Circle K, you shuffled closer to Ted, smiling lightly as he drew you closer with an arm around your shoulder. That morning had certainly been most excellent, as most of the time with your boyfriends always was- it was something that you always looked forward to; spending time with them, making memories that would forever make you smile. 

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Dan Takes Quizzes About Himself

Date video was published: 04/03/2017 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 339

Dan’s quizzes video! Phil had done one back in September 2016, with some of the same quizzes, so I’ll do a bit of comparing their results. Warning that this is going to be a long one.

0:00 - I love this intro. I love it so much. “well...no” 😂

0:14 - “a certain rat called Phil...I’m still listening!” this intro is too much 😭

0:19 - so many big smiles and eye crinkles

0:26 - mmmm, navigating the YouTube changes

0:39 - that is...extremely specific

0:45 - “creative” I would love a compilation of Dan just saying that in that specific tone

1:04 - yeah that has to be the weirdest part as the subject of the quiz

1:17 - “Daniel” definitely trying to prepare the audience for the rebrand

1:30 - um...annnnd cutting that sentence off 😳

1:36 - I love that space-themed blanket

2:09 - jump scared by the memes

2:36 - they had just uploaded the third and final Crafts video for April Fools Day a couple days before this

2:45 - Dan has already started cringing at himself

2:53 - alright, Dan is funny

3:07 - wow 100%. Phil took his version of this quiz and only got 75%.

3:31 - this one is just silly

3:38 - the dead-eyed look at the camera is great

3:50 - he’s so dramatically upset about being wrong

4:05 - he’s just given up and us choosing the middle one every time

4:11 - lol at his reaction to remembering he put that in a video... 😂

4:18 - this is equivalent to the “PSL or Phil” quiz Phil did in his video. 

4:30 - Dan’s hair looks really good in this video. This is about when DNP started getting the exact same haircut

4:54 - so many cute fetus Dan photos

5:03 - oh Dan, cringing at that one specifically...

5:19 - Dan’s facial expressions in every video are great

5:28 - Dan thinks it’s very important that we know that they have the same sleep schedule... “I can assure you that neither of us wake up before mid-day”

5:38 - he’s getting ready to kill the branding

5:41 - “Phil wears a lot of socks, but they’re odd, like him...” and then the “still listening you bitch” which should not be fond at all but somehow is

5:50 - “I’m literally not wearing any pants right now” ...thanks for sharing? 😳 also, Dan is wearing the same shirt as the *cough* pants-less live show, so this might have been filmed that same day

okay, Phil did this same quiz in his video! (though he went through more of the questions in the video than Dan does. Let’s compare:

Left or Right? Phil - Right; Dan - Left - different

Early Bird or Night Owl? Phil - Night Owl; Dan - Night Owl - same

Snow or Beach? Phil - Snow; Dan - Snow - same

Lion or Llamas? Phil - Lion; Dan - Llamas - different

Coffee or Tea? Phil - Coffee; Dan - ??? - didn’t see Dan’s answer

Pikachu or Totoro? Phil - Totoro; Dan - Pikachu - different

Socks or Not? Phil - Not; Dan - Not - same

Worm or Moth? Phil - Moth; Dan - ??? - didn’t see Dan’s answer

Taylor or Emma? Phil - Emma; Dan - ??? - didn’t see Dan’s answer

The Queen or Justin? Phil - The Queen; Dan - The Queen  - same

5:59 - I’m glad they both managed to get themselves, lol. Though they did seemingly have a mix of the same and different answers

6:12 - his red-patch is out, but this starts off less horrifying than he expected

6:24 - just gonna skip those last two sentences

6:43 - “I can’t do this...I’m gonna do it” 😂

6:50 - it’s really not because this one is just...bad lol. He is also so horrified by how many people have taken it

7:20 - “christ” is right

7:26 - he can’t even make it through the first question 😂

7:53 - he’s so done...and yeah

8:14 - the inter-cuts of his reactions make this video so good

8:52 - “Dan-cest is on the cards” help.

8:52 - another one Phil did...let’s just compare their faces after reading the title

9:08 - that would be hilarious to have someone who doesn’t know who they are take this quiz

9:18 - “is that a challenge?!” I love it 😂

9:24 - that had a very obvious Dan answer

9:48 - the fact that he hovered over “PHIL 100%” as if he was thinking about picking that 😭

9:58 - maybe because advice-type content is the content he likes making best

10:07 - “Dan’s inner trash can is about to be revealed” going with classic Phil solo content out of those options

10:43 - “no one do that” 😨

answer comparison:

Favorite color - Phil - Blue/Greeny colours; Dan - Black (like my soul)

Favorite type of music - Phil skipped this question & we didn’t see what Dan answered - it’s weird that neither of them showed that one!

Choose Dan or Phil - Phil - PHIL 100%; Dan - I would refuse to choose

Favorite Dan video - Phil - Photo Booth Challenge; Dan - Internet Support Group

Favorite Phil video - Phil - Halloween Baking; Dan - Why I was a weird kid

How much do you love DNP - Phil - My life would such without them; Dan - My life would such without them - the only same answer

10:49 - Dan is so happy about this after the challenge at the beginning, hahaha. Both DNP got “phil” body-parts as a result

11:00 - his attempt to read this description, the majority of which he skipped over because well...

11:37 - both DNP wanted to nope out as soon as they saw the “Dan’s crotch” option 😂

11:42 - great Dan face

12:05 - he really didn’t need to attempt to justify this one... 😳

12:20 - so nice about his audience so no one feels bad

12:35 - “I’m going to go and have a long and hard...” WHERE is that going?!

12:50 -  after this he doesn’t post for a month again, until his rebrand

I like this video a lot; I find Dan so funny in it. I also love that DNP can use the same idea for a video, but they end up being so different. But I definitely think this is part of the era where Dan was struggling a bit with deciding if he was okay with posting less “serious��� content to his channel.

[clovermunson]

my hogwarts au

after a post from @words-and-wands, @that-ravenpuff-witch, and @cleverglitteryfoxtrot, I’ve decided to hop in and make my own as well!

possible with the help of:

extended sorting hat quiz

extended patronus quiz (recommend taking on desktop)

some tumblr research lol

enjoy, y’all!!☺️💕 (rather long, so everything is under the cut!)

House: Gryffindor

“You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry,

Set Gryffindors apart”

every time I took the pottermore quiz, I’d always either gotten Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. after taking the wizardmore quiz (for the second time lmao) my results were as follows:

Gryffindor: 75% (2400)

Ravenclaw: 10% (250)

Slytherin: 10% (250)

Hufflepuff: 5% (100)

after a few times of taking the pottermore quiz and mostly getting Ravenclaw, I’d just accepted the fact that I was a Ravenclaw, until taking the wizardmore quiz, where Gryffindor vastly outweighs the other results. I’ll admit, it did take a while for me to accept that I am a true Gryffindor, but I did eventually come to terms with it and fully embrace it. huge thanks to Rosie (@cleverglitteryfoxtrot) for helping me with that!!

patronus (weighted):

top two:

Wolf (88%)

Dragon (87%)

on the pottermore quiz, I got the wolf as my patronus when I took it in November of last year, and earlier in 2020.

analysis for the wolf:

The wolf is a bit of a darker and mysterious soul, with the strength of a fighter. A person with this patronus has had a lot happen in their life, and do to that they wear a mask over their emotions. They do, however, have a very big heart that is full of both passion and fire. They have a lot of emotion within them that they are willing to give, but only once they completely trust you, and since they have been made cynical over the years this can be difficult. (via: @patron-a-bum)

I can see why a wolf patronus would be most suited for me, as the wolf usually chooses someone who hasn’t had the easier life and maybe hardships, but still overcame them in the end. I tend to bottle up my emotions and “mask” them from the world, only to save face. I’m quite cynical most of the time, as a result of some rather sour life experiences.

the dragon though, is a result I never expected. I never saw myself having the possibility of a rare patronus, but I can see where the personality qualities could match.

analysis for the dragon:

The dragon represents an inner element, one that is prominent in peoples with this patronus. The element can vary, but quite often it is fire. There is a strong passion and ambition in this person, and a fury like no other. This does not mean they are an angry person, though they do have a tendency to be temperamental, but merely that they have a drive that fuels them throughout their whole self. They can be impulsive, but luckily this is combined with good instinct and reaction, so they don’t find themselves regretting their choices very often. They tend to encase their emotions within themselves, and in that way can seem very cold and blunt. (via: @patron-a-bum)

sometimes, I am very blunt, which makes some perceive me as “uncaring” or “harsh”. I tend to be very ambitious and hold a high sense of passion for the things I love. I can also be very temperamental at times, especially if I’ve had a particularly stressful day. I’ve been quite impulsive as well, often not thinking before I act.

wand:

aspen wood

dragon heartstring core

10 3/4 inches

slightly springy flexibility

wand wood analysis:

“Wand-quality aspen wood is white and fine-grained, and highly prized by all wand-makers for its stylish resemblance to ivory and its usually outstanding charmwork. The proper owner of the aspen wand is often an accomplished duelist, or destined to be so, for the aspen wand is one of those particularly suited to martial magic. An infamous and secretive eighteenth-century dueling club, which called itself The Silver Spears, was reputed to admit only those who owned aspen wands. In my experience, aspen wand owners are generally strong-minded and determined, more likely than most to be attracted by quests and new orders; this is a wand for revolutionaries.” (via pottermore)

“Ollivander calls aspen a wand for revolutionaries; however, revolutions are never one by a single person, they are won with a group of people dedicated to the same cause. For aspen wand owners, a yearning for justice comes out as them being executors, of sorts.

They have strong wills to act physically in favor of their moral vision (or justice), and play the role of a follower as well. They want to execute orders, and have the quick reflexes and dueling skills to do so. Their adaptability is the root of aspen’s reputation as wand of survivors (like fir). They are also minimalists who do not like a lot of clutter in their living space.

They are sentimental for only a few of their possessions. When compared to Poplar and Black Poplar, the Aspen is the least associated with death.

As such, communication comes easier for them than Black Poplar owners, who often feel detached from other people. The elemental composition of aspen is primarily fire and ice based. There is talent with charmwork, dueling, martial magics, as well as ancient rituals and magics. Silver, white, and black sparks are emitted from this wand during spellwork. Its magic smells of chimney smoke, peppermint, and snow. Aspen is attracted to cores with strong-willed and exacting natures. This wand has great precision and can perform the most delicate of spellwork while also packing a punch.” (via: @cloverywands)

wand core analysis:

“If your wand is dragon heartstring, this core as a rule produces ‘wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. The dragon wand tends to be the easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.” (via: pottermore)

I’ve always believed that an aspen wand would be best suited for me. of the three most popular cores (dragon heartstring, phoenix feather, and unicorn hair), I’ve always found I have a particular connection of sorts to the dragon heartstring core. I believe this is due to my own temperamental nature and me being a rather quick learner.

and there we have it, that’s my own personal hogwarts au!☺️ I hope y’all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it!

[peachandmark]

Day6 Jae as your college senior (Political Science major since he’s one)

Jae is the senior who’s in charge in freshmen orientation and head of poli sci association, a very charismatic leader. He’s a sophomore. His tall figure, fair skin and cute eyes under those glasses caught you off guard.

Super friendly and jokes a round to make the juniors comfortable, always asks “Do you have any question?” with a cheeky smile.

Most girls in your batch probably having crush on him because you too. He’s even famous in the entire faculty. Super respectful towards everyone.

But you’re competitive so you’re a step ahead, asking for his number in case you have any question without anyone noticing even your new friends. At random times you will chat him first tru katalk

Though he would gladly answer but instead he suggest to meet you face to face to explain further. He always chooses library as a place to meet you.

He’ll explain all about the course and the subjects in every semester, a little bit introduction of the lecturers and some tips to excel the subjects of your first final. He’ll also tell his experience during first year over coffee, in which he treats you

Sometimes you’ll came across him on your way to the class and you’ll greet him first and he replies as friendly to you that Brian, his closest friend and also your fellow senior, teases him over his over friendliness to you. And Jae will hit him and shut his mouth after that. You chuckles and yes your day has been made just by looking at that handsome figure

Would try hard to explain why Nicollo Machiavelli’s thought is not as evil as you think and is necessary in modern politics because you’re such a softie and more likely into Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy in which govern the nation with “love”

He would suggest some helpful tips and inspirational books/movies in politics to help you understand the whole field better

He would hit you up to ask how you’re doing on midterm quiz and if you’re doing bad he’ll cheer you up and continue supporting you. “Actually there’s formula in understanding World Politics, it’s heavily based on realism theory with three key points; Identity, Geography and Power. Anyway, let’s have a tutor lesson on Saturday. I will explain later. For now let’s grab a lunch, are you free now?” he says

Whenever it’s just the two of you, Jae becomes flirty but not too much that it makes you uncomfortable. He’a really keep it slow and not too much. Complimenting you has becomes one of his die-hard habits. Some of your female seniors (his fans) are annoyed with you. But you brush them off, because who cares? Whenever Jae see some of them trying to bully you, he becomes more protective of you

You will go supporting him for every debate competition he participates in. He’ll teach you the right way to debate too and make sure you’ll go practice with him whenever there’s time. He does that because he saw potential in you to replace him next year in the debate team. But stop the lesson if you’re too worn out in which you feel thankful for. He can be persuasive at times but knows too well about the limits. Anyway he’ll make sure you will do your best at it.

You and Jae will be in the same party in your campus. Besides, he would also run for campus elections and you’ll accompany him when he’s campaigning here and there even though it gets dark. He’s so thankful for it and always checks you up to make sure you’re okay. He would aslo asks your opinions on his manifesto and how he deliver his speeches

Whenever there’s issues regarding the university administration and national politics, he would lead the protest with all the students. Students and leaders from other universities also joining him. He and his friends will help solving the issues and if they’re successful, both of you will go out celebrating first then he’ll meet up with his friends later because you’re with him through thick and thin, giving ideas and supports, becoming his source of energy to go through it all

All of his friends know you even the political activist outside the campus because he won’t stop talking about you in front of them. You’ll be so shy but later on and change the subjects. You’re super comfortable and friendly with most of his friends and sometimes he’ll get jealous over it. “I shouldn’t tag you along!” He says with a cute pout while driving to your dorm

Jae will send you random memes and ugly pictures of himself when he gets bored in class and you will do the same. At the end you can’t concentrate in the class because it’s too funny. Your lecturer noticed that your mind is elsewhere and warns you. So whether you want it or not you have to keep your phone in your bag but still can’t stop laughing because of him.

When he holds a visit to the parliament/UN building for the freshmen to expose themselves to, you’ll sit beside him in the bus. You lost your breath a bit at how dashing he looks in suits (usually he’s looks fine but at that moment he’s looks the finest!)

Well, later Wonpil spill the tea that Jae purposefully bought a new one just to tease you. But Jae also secretly likes you in suits too, he captures your new look in his mind.

Whenever Jae is sick, you’ll take care of him, makes sure he’ll take his medicine on time and make him rest. Sometimes you’ll ask Brian about his health because he’s his roomate. Brian will guide you at what to do, what he can eat, wht he cannot eat etc. Usually Jae won’t be open so much about his health condition beacuse he doesn’t want to worry you

Jae likes to frame you in his lyrics and composing songs with his acoustic guitars, you probably not knowing this except Brian and Sungjin, a Music major who would help him with the composition.

Your faculty holds an annual dinner. You dressed up because Jae will be your date. You kind of want to sweep him off his feet that night. “Wow y/n, you’re...beautiful tonight” he says breathily. Yup, your mission cleared. “Shut up, Jae sunbaenim” you reply shyly.

To you surprise, he performed with a guitar in his hands that night on the stage. The song he sings is so unfamiliar, something you never heard of.

Sungjin whispers to you “He wrote this song himself”. “Oh really? He’s so good at it. Just how perfect a human can be?”

From the way he keeps looking at you while letting his beautiful vocals charm everyone, you kind of have a hunch that he sings about you. But you just be silence about it, don’t want to be upset if it’s the otherwise. Maybe he sings for another girl in this hall, no one that she knows of. Everyone claps and whistles for his amazing performance. His circles and your friends especially being loud for it.

“Being oblivious is one of her talents, does she?” Said Brian to Wonpil and Wonpil just laugh it off. “Hey, let Jae suffer a bit dude. It’s fun to watch”

“Ah...ahh... Sungjin asked me to perform tonight. Hahaha...he said it will make my popularity rise among the students, so...it’s kind of important for the campus election, if you know what I mean hehe” , “But you’ve always been popular among the students what do you mean? I can see the girls almost...fainted” you pout and Jae captures this sight again in his mind

He shut you up as he takes your hand in his “Well don’t you know my name? ‘Jae�� means ‘fame’ in Greek. I born with it ya know. It’s the most natural thing to happen hahahah” He laughs out loud at his lame joke. You just laugh along with him since his laugh is that contagious. If he’a not Jae, you will slap this boy for sure with savage remark

“Hey you’re cute when you’re jealous, y/n.” Jae said while tapping his fingers on the steering. “Shut up, sunbaenim!”

After that you’ll bug him to make him sing again, so he had no other options but to send you several videos of him jamming or when he’s practicing

But when you’re having bad time, concerns or trouble sleeping, he’ll sing to you while face timing with you. At that time you never know you need a voice to put you to sleep since your busy parents never did that

Whenever Jae gives a speech at any events, because he won the elections and become one of the student leaders, you’ll take photos of him and once he recognises it, he looks at the camera with a smirk and you sequeled over it

Study week is approaching, apart from your own circles doing revision together, sometimes you’ll ask Jae for help. So you guys will go to library together and have a little library “date”. He would also share some of his old notes with you. After teaching you something, he would go ask you some questions to test your understanding. “What’s the differences between oligarchy and aristocracy? Which one is better in Aristotle philosophy?” He asks but then you failed to answer it to his liking so he pinch your cheeks as a punishment

The library date is so fun, apart from being serious when it has has to be, Jae is so damn playful. He would tell some jokes about his friends, mostly about Dowoon and Wonpil, and make a fool of himself whenever you’re stress. The librarian sometimes will warn you guys to keep it down a little

Your last paper has ended and Jae finished his first so he picked you and your friends up from the examination hall. Later he make excuses so that your friends get the fuck out of his car and that you’ll go on date with him peacefully. As usual, your friends kind of expected it and fake sulking about it but got out of the car nevertheless, warning him to take care of you and get you to the dorm safely that night

After both of you got the result, you asked him first. He doesn’t want to reveal it unless you reveal yours. So you sent him your cute selfie, he doesn’t have a choice but to let you the screen shot of it. His cgpa is higher than you but regardless both of you are in the dean list. He sincerely hapy for you and deliver a bouquet of flowers to your house. Roses and baby breath to be exact because it’s your favourite

As the new semester begins, both of you’re able to meet now. It’s not a secret anymore that you and Jae are a thing now. Though both of you want to keep it low but he lowkey want to let the world know. Event the lecturer noticed and smirked to him whenever he see you guys talking while walking to the class

Jae asks you out the first day of the semester and both of you going to his favourite lobster restaurant. Yup, after working so hard saving up for this moment. He’s a simple person and you like that a lot bout him. Since you’re new to eating lobster, he cracks the lobsters for you and feeds you

Nothing too fancy, as he damn sure about his feelings and the probability of you liking him back, he asks you to be his girlfriend on the way to grab coffees before sending you back to the dorm. You hide your face with the sleeves of your hoodie and turn your face away from him as you say yes.

“Do I have to call you oppa now?”, “You can when it’s just the two of us. But if it’s in front of other people, just use sunbaenim, will you be okay with it? Either way my heart flutters whenever you said both hehe” , “Aren’t we obvious enough to hides it anymore?” , “You’re right but let’s just keep it simple, okay?” , “Sure Jaehyung oppa” you smile while locking hands with his free hand

(Since I’m also a poli sci and ‘Jae’ major so why not?)

[rex101111]

🎬 with sorikai :3

(okay technically a high school romcom but close enough :P)

Riku was used to his friends catching him by surprise, it was simply in their nature to defy common sense and do something either utterly reckless, ridiculous, or just plain stupid.

Oh alright, that last one was mostly Sora, but Kairi was no stranger to doing something boneheaded and justifying it after the fact with the excuse of “I thought it was a good idea!” while the results of her blunder burned around her.

(Kairi isn’t allowed to use the Bunsen burner in chemistry class anymore and Riku will never let her live it down, but that is neither here nor there.)

Point is, he’s used to being on the back foot and having to pick up the pace when his two best friends in the whole world decide to do something utterly manic.

Thing was, they usually did so separately, which usually meant he had the other to act as a back up brain cell to hopefully negate the incoming damage. 

The key word there would be, of course, “Usually.” Sometimes, all the stars would align in the sky, shake hands, and unanimously decree that it was “Fuck Riku Around O’clock” and both Sora and Kairi would have their own uniquely stupid idea pop in their head, leaving Riku to fight a two front war he was destined to lose.

(Riku will never look at a meat loaf the same way again. And he, to this day, has no earthly idea what Kairi did to make Professor Eraqus’s hair puke green for a week and not get expelled for it, he suspects puppy dog eyes were involved.)

But even those calamities did not compare to those thankfully rare moments where they would both have the same stupid idea at the same time. Riku still shuddered at the memory of them being teamed up into a trio in that “egg babysitting” assignment.

(The egg, named Chirithy, was, thank the lord, perfectly alright by the end of the week. Riku’s sanity, his room, his dignity, and most of his clothes, were not.)

Point was, Riku was well used to being the “reasonable one”, the one who actually had at least half a clue and keep his friends from going too far.

And last week, the stars decided it was high time for another rousing lighting round of “Fuck Riku Around O’clock and so it was that, a few days before Valentine’s day, both Sora and Kairi had the exact same idea pop into their heads, and they both wanted Riku’s help with it.

Secretly.

Privately.

Riku is beginning to wonder why he still bleaches his hair because it would probably turn grey on its own with friends like his.  

The idea they both had, unknown to the other person, was to make homemade chocolate for Valentine’s to give to the other person. They did so because they both had the biggest crushes on each other, and they both had, through some convoluted happenings fit for a JRPG plot, no damn idea the other person liked them.

This lack of knowledge had been going on since they were all twelve, and Riku was absolutely sick of this high school romcom nonsense. He’s been watching these two bozos tap dance around each other for literal years and was making every effort to fix that since he figured it out before the both of them.

(Of course, he did that after having his own little crisis of identity when he figured out that he liked both of them, quite a bit actually, and was able to push his own feelings down in favor of making his friends happy. Their happiness was more important, their happiness was possible, and so they needed to figure their shit out so Riku could finish properly burying his own steaming pile and move on with his life.)

The problem, well, one of about a dozen problems, was that neither of them was exactly the best when it came to making any kind of food.

Sora had all the grace and consideration of a hungover elephant when it came to making food, if he intended to make use of an egg it was an inevitability that the fragile shell will implode almost as soon as he lays his fingers on it. The less said about the time he tried to juggle those damn pepper shakers the better.

And Kairi? Oh, Kairi was hopeless. Her head had a tendency to run ahead of her and pull her towards all sort of bizarre ingredients to add to the chocolate, melons and chilly peppers and celery being the least of her suggestions to worry Riku on a primal level.

It was a weary few days, Riku having to juggle with helping each of his friends without the other catching wise, running himself ragged in the process. It was a mercy that there wasn’t a pop quiz during those few days before Valentine’s, because Riku was sure he would have fallen asleep on the pencil.

It would be worth it though, he was sure of it, there was no way to misinterpret a homemade Valentine’s day chocolate, there was no way that the message would go over their thick heads.

They would get together, they would be in love, and Riku would be happy for them, happy to stand with them as they lived their lives together. 

Finally, he could move on.

…or, at least, that’s what he thought would happen.

That was a mistake.

He thinking that he could predict what his friends would do…he should have known they were very, very good at surprising him.

This time, they did it by coming to him during lunch break, big, goofy grins on their faces, and giving him a big pile of chocolate, exclaiming as one, “Riku! Will you be our Valentine?”

Riku blinked.

He looked at the chocolate, messy and mismatched and lumpy but genuine, wrapped in a plastic bag with a sticky note on the front, the words “YOU’RE IN OUT HEART VALENTINE” made with two colors of glitter pens were very hard to miss.

He looked at his friends, smiling down at him with those same dopey, lovesick grins he saw them direct at each other more times than he can count. Kairi’s right hand and Sora’s left were intertwined between them, while their free hands were displaying the chocolate with a flourish.

He blinked again, his brain a spinning record on a player with a bouncing needle, the tune skipping and repeating because none of this made any sense.

“You…” He started, voice faint, pointing at the two, “you were supposed to give chocolate to each other…” He looked between his two friends, their bright grins beginning to get on his nerves (and not making him blush be quiet), “so you would both know how you felt about each other.”

“We did give our chocolate to each other!” Sora chirped happily, pecking Kairi on the cheek and gaining himself a cute giggle from the girl in response, “though we actually confessed to each other a little while before we came to you for help,” he smiled wider, ignoring Riku’s jaw nearly dropping through the floor,  “thanks again for the help with that Riku!”

“A little while…?” He mumbled, spine straightening at the implication, “what do you mean a while-”

“And now!” Kairi jumped in before he could finish, “we’re giving you chocolate! So you know how we feel about you!” They both blushed when she finished, Kairi twirling a lock of hair between her fingers and Sora scratching his chin with a peppy smile. “It’s been a long time coming honestly, right?”

“Yeah!” Sora chuckled quietly, grinning at him with all of his teeth, “we’ve both been trying to confess to you for a while and…well, what better time than today?”

(Why were they so cute. That wasn’t fair. Whoever decided that was fair deserved a write up.)

“About…me?” The gears in his head were beginning to shed a few flecks of rust and starting to move a half inch at a time, “how you two feel…about…me?”

The two looked at each other with soft smiles, and then turned those smiles at him again, and his heart was starting to pick up on the atmosphere and was pounding in his ears.

“You two…like…me?” 

“Yeah!”

“A bunch.”

Riku blinked again, because he was sure if his eyes got any wider they would tumble out of his dumbfounded head.

“…Seriously?”

Kairi’s smile faltered for a moment, “oh come on Riku, me and Sora have been trying to clue you in all week!” She stopped and looked at Sora, “you were trying to drop some hints at him right?”

“All the time!” Sora defended, “but he was so focused on the baking he wasn’t paying attention.”

(A vague memory of Sora asking Riku to help him with cleaning his shirt after he spilled whipped cream over it popped into Riku’s head and he never felt more victimized by his goal oriented mindset.)

“How about you?”

“Licking spoons and commenting on how hot it was, no reaction at all!”

(Another memory came, this time of Riku snatching a spoon from Kairi as he saw her tongue leave her mouth, and he never felt more jealous of a piece of silverware in his entire life.)

Kairi sighed, “Who would’ve thought Riku would be so oblivious huh?”

Sora nodded, not noticing Riku snapping into a agitated stance, “Yeah! He’s usually so smart about most things, but I guess matters of the heart just kinda fly over his head-”

“Are you kidding?” The two stopped and looked at him, blinking owlishly, “I spend years, literal years, going along with your crazy schemes, cleaning up your messes, and still finding time to try and play matchmaker for you two so you could stop dancing around your feelings, and you’re telling me I’m the oblivious one!?”

Kairi and Sora blinked at him.

Then blinked at each other.

And then went back to looking at him. Sora first, “You…you did?”

Then Kairi, “you were trying to…get us together?”

Before he could yell that yes you morons and I’m pretty sure it had aged me two decades from the stress the two threw themselves at him in a lung crushing hug, kissing his cheeks and singing his praises.

He was in love with a couple of idiots.

And they were, miracles never cease, in love with him.

…ah, well, who said life and love were ever simple?  

“…Happy Valentine’s day you two.”

[ddaengyoonmin]

BTS Friends to Lovers Series (Taehyung)

Pairing: Police officer!Taehyung x Badgirl/Stoner!reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, small attempts for humor

Warnings: some slightly dark themes, drug dealer!Jungkook, swearing, lots of weed references, deep throating, cum swallowing, dom!Tae, face slapping with hands and with his cock (cleanse my souuul oops) assault on a cop, some abuse of power from a Pervy older cop. Getting arrested. (I think that’s all let me know if I missed any)

A/N: while this is a reader insert I put a lot of my own personal experience and life into this piece. It was also partially based on a dream I had about getting arrested by taehyung

Word count: 6k

Songs to listen to: ‘Free spirit’ - Manila Grey ‘Parking lot’ - Manila Grey ‘Play with Fire’ - Sam Tinnesz

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell my mom and dad about this. You know they’ll just go right to your parents about it.  As long as it’s the last time this happens... right?”  Taehyung turned around and cocked an eyebrow at you from the driver’s seat.

You let out a groan and rolled your eyes.  “Sure Tae, of course it’s the last time” you spoke with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.  

“I mean it y/n, you’re lucky it was me that got to you and not one of the other guys.  You’d be down at the station right now instead of sitting in my car with a milkshake” He scolded

You took a big sip on the straw of your milkshake “Yeah thanks for this by the way, I was really getting the munchies” You joked

Taehyung let out a loud sigh, taking off his police issued hat and running his fingers through his shaggy brown hair annoyed.  Then holding up the plastic bag that had the remaining weed that you hadn’t smoked yet in it.  “I’m keeping this you know that right?”

You shrugged “What for? are you gonna start smoking again Mr. Do-good?” you teased him. 

“y/n…” he spoke sternly. “Damnit, you’re so lucky we are friends.  I don’t think you realize how many times I’ve saved your ass from doing actual time over this stuff” 

“It should be legal anyways and you know it.  Besides...I knew a time when you would’ve been right there with me” you said matter of factly. 

“Well that was a long time ago y/n.  We were kids, now we are adults.  Well...I am at least” he shot you a joking glare and you pretended you didn’t see him and just took another long sip on your milkshake. 

“I’m taking you home now” he sighed and drove out of the parking lot the two of you had been sitting in. 

You had known Taehyung since the two of you were practically babies, he was a year older than you but the two of you had been best friends since as long as you can remember. 

Your mom and his mom were best friends at college and were each other's maid of honor for their weddings.  Your families were tied together like an unbreakable knot, dinners together at least twice a month and unscheduled random hangouts were just part of your life, and with it, Taehyung. 

You were there when he had his first kiss at the middle school dance, you comforted him after his first break-up with said girl that he had his first kiss with.  You both drank your first beer together, and smoked your first joint together.  Everything that you did, you had done with Taehyung.  Until he graduated highschool a few years ago, and had the grand idea that he wanted to become a police officer.  That decision put quite a damper on the shenanigans you were used to getting into with him, and you’d felt yourself grow slightly more distant from him as a result. 

But, he still looked out for you.  Times like today you were kind of grateful he had joined the police force, because he was right, if anyone else had caught you smoking a joint with a few extra grams to spare on you, sitting inside a big yellow slide on a playground thinking that no one would notice (Spoiler, they did…) They wouldn’t have just scolded you and then bought you a strawberry milkshake. 

 Taehyung pulled up to your house and walked around to open the back door of the police cruiser for you.  

“Stay out of trouble y/n.  There's only so many get out of jail free cards I can offer before someone notices you know.” he pulls you into a quick hug

You snuggle your head into his chest for the quick moment, that he hugged you. 

“Ah, Don’t make me smell” he quickly grabs your shoulders putting you arm's length from him with his nose scrunched, a disgusted look on his face. 

“Don’t act like you don’t miss that smell” you winked at him as you walked the cement path leading to your front door.  

Taehyung rolls his dark eyes and gives you a quick smile.  

He didn’t always used to be like he was now, he was the biggest stoner you knew.  Which is what always caught you off guard about his decision.  It seemed quite random, it was strange enough to you that you felt it could’ve made the news, ‘Small town Stoner Turns Good Boy Cop’  You chuckled at that thought.  

Though you missed your favorite smoke buddy. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day when you got out of work you drove over to your dealer’s house to replace the Eighth that Taehyung had to confiscate from you. 

Your old beat up car had been running on its last leg for a while now, but it continued to get you where you needed to go, and you spent too much money on smoke to think about getting a new ride. 

Jungkook was lounging on his front porch smoking a cigarette, his eyes shut in a dreamlike state, his jet black hair falling slightly down over the closed lids.  The bright rays of the summer day blessing his sun kissed skin in an angelic manner. 

“Hows my favorite pot-head” you grinned as you approached him, catching him off guard and causing him to flinch at the sound of your voice.  

Realizing it was just you he grinned and extended out a hand for you to help him stand up from the step he was relaxed on in front of his house. 

He stood tall and smoked one last drag on his cigarette before putting it out and opening his front door with a welcoming gesture inviting you inside. 

The scent of weed burned into your nose instantly when walking into his house, you loved the smell, you loved everything about it.  

Taehyung used to too… 

He was the most knowledgeable stoner you’d ever met.  He could even tell the strain of the weed he was smoking after just smelling it.  You and your friends used to quiz him for fun and he’d always ace every test without fail. 

You wondered if sometimes when he’d pull someone over and arrest them for the exact thing he used to partake in, he’d catch a whiff and know the name of their bud. 

It all seemed pretty hypocritical to you, but you have to remind yourself you both have grown up, people change, though you haven't much, you can’t blame him for it. 

Jungkook went over to a drawer and pulled out a large glass jar, carrying it with two hands over to a wooden coffee table near his couch.  You, knowing the drill, doing this trip to Jungkook’s at least once a week, had sat down on the couch to wait for him. 

Jungkook pulled a long un lit joint from the front pocket of his red flannel and held it between his lips with his eyes focused on the jar in front of him.

He pulled out a few nugs from the jar and put them on a cheap gram scale he had on his table, weighing it out to the eighth he knew was your regular purchase. 

“Isn’t this a little early to be here, how fast did you go through your last bag?” Jungkook chuckled, placing the nugs into a ziploc bag carefully.  

“Ugh” you sighed.  “Taehyung again” 

Jungkook knew just what you meant by that.  Taehyung used to be close friends with him as well before he became a cop.  They had a big falling out when Taehyung joined the force, Jungkook hated cops with a passion and said some choice words to Taehyung that had severed their relationship permanently.  It hurt to think about how things used to be, the three of you laughing and smoking, riding around in your old car flying on cloud 9.  Literally, the strain that was your favorite at the time was called cloud 9. 

Jungkook shook his head and pulled out a lighter from the same pocket the joint came from, lighting the tip for a second before inhaling and letting the smoke glide down his lungs, then passing it to you. 

“I don’t know how you can stand to be around him anymore” Jungkook grumbled. 

“First of all, I really don’t have a choice, actually I think we are having dinner with our families together later tonight.  Secondly” you made eye contact with Jungkook “Hes really not that bad.  It could be worse.  All I got was a soft warning and a milkshake”  you passed the joint back to Jungkook. 

“Until he gets some pressure from his higher ups to be more of a hardass.  I think your days of getting off easy are short lived y/n.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  He’s sold his soul to ‘the man’ trust me” He spoke between coughs from the rough hit he’d just took.  Putting air quotes around ‘the man’. 

You didn’t like the idea of that and you shut up for a bit, sharing the rest of the joint and paying Jungkook for your bag.  

He gave you a hug and a smile on your way out.  “Be more careful out there y/n” he winked and bumped your shoulder with his fist playfully. 

------------------------------------------------------

You went straight from Jungkook’s to your parents home where you were to have dinner with Taehyung’s family.  You sat in your car and quickly sprayed a massively overpowering amount of perfume on yourself hoping to mask the weed smell.  Then putting in some eyedrops to help with your glassy eyed expression you’d seen in your car mirror.  You winced at the way that it burned but were thankful for the relief that it gave to your dry eyes. 

When you arrived through the door your mom instantly ran over to you and embraced you in her signature hug, that always included a large inhale. 

“You smell like Marijauna” her eyes narrowed at you. 

“Oh no, not the Marijauna” you feigned shock and put your hands to your cheeks a surprised expression looking like the boy from home alone. 

She glared at you, not amused.  You knew your parents didn’t care that much, your dad especially.  They didn’t smoke but you knew your dad was a hippie in his day so he had no room to judge.  Your mom was slightly more judgemental but she usually just let you off with some snide comments and rude glances before returning to her normal bubbly self.  

She ran to her room and grabbed some febreeze and started chasing you around the house with it while you laughed, tears forming in both of your eyes at how ridiculous she was being. She was mostly worried about upsetting Taehyung’s family most likely.  Not that they were the type to judge either, but it was still made for a slightly more awkward dinner if it ended up getting brought up with Taehyung’s current position in life.  No one in town really knew how to act around him.  

You thought that must be tough on him.  People that were once his peers were now all terrified of him.  No one wanted to talk to him about anything more than casual small talk, and it was always very shallow conversation.  No one wanted to open up all of their deep secrets or emotions in front of a cop.  On the surface no one would think that it bothered him much.  He was good at keeping a constant blank expression that never let anyone into what he was thinking even back in highschool.  But, knowing Taehyung the way you knew him, it must bother him.

He was the life of the party, and now he's the buzzkill who crashes the parties. 

Taehyung’s family arrived and you all sat down to eat.  Your parents asked Taehyung about his job and how it’d been going.  He said he liked it and he was actually getting close to a promotion. 

His eyes flickered your way, almost like a small apology was hidden in that look.

You knew what that meant, no more getting off easily anymore.  Jungkook was right, the idea that you had a cop friend on your side was just a fun fantasy.  Next time you got caught by him, he wouldn’t be treating you like a friend one bit.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The moment came sooner than you’d thought.  You and Jungkook had been going on a late night taco bell run, smoking a joint the whole way there, and you as usual were carrying a decent amount of smoke in your bag. 

You had stopped in the parking lot, parked in the back to hotbox and eat in the car.  Hotboxing was one of the funnest activities you used to do in highschool and you had mentioned to Jungkook that it’d been way too long, he was more than happy to oblige. 

You were giggling like a child over the way the word ‘Taco’ sounded if you said it slowly when you were startled by a tapping noise on the window. 

Not able to see through the smoke fogged glass who had knocked on your window, you squinted then glanced to Jungkook, who stared wide eyed at the colors of blue and red flashing to the side of the car. 

“Fuckkkkkkk” he groaned, hitting the steering wheel roughly with a flat palm.  “Fuck fuck fuck.  Y/n you’re carrying a bag aren’t you” 

Your eyes grew wide, “Y-yeah…are you?” 

Jungkook gave you a ‘what do you think’ look

Of course he was. 

You sighed and rolled your window down, a wave of smoke pouring out and flowing right into the face of the officer standing there.  Fuck, it wasn’t Taehyung. 

“How’s it going officer?” you asked sweetly.  He was less than pleased. 

“Both of you. Step out of the car” he ordered sternly. 

You did as he said, and now realized that another officer sat in a separate car.  Taehyung…

“Officer Kim, can you assist me here” The older policeman spoke Taehyung’s way. 

He got out of the car, his uniform fit him way too sinfully, you’d always though he looked more like the cop from an old porno , than one you’d ever have taken seriously.  But, the expression he currently held on his face gave you the chills, and not in a good way. 

He glared your way, shaking his head in disappointment.  Jungkook was throwing dagger eyes towards Taehyung as he started to approach him to pat him down. 

“Oh fuck off Mr. High and mighty” Jungkook scoffed, stepping back from Taehyung. 

“Kook” you pleaded at your friend to take hold of his temper. The older cop had started to pat you down as you held your arms out.  Upon finding the bag in your pocket he waved it in the air like he’d hit the jackpot.

“Look what we’ve got here Officer Kim.  Someone’s been a naughty girl” he playful spoke.  The way he said that made you nauseous, you didn’t like the way he had just started behaving one bit.  But, what could you do. 

He continued his pat down, his hands lingering on your breasts for too long.  You shot him a glare and tried to recoil away from his touch. 

“Ah ah, you’d be surprised how many ladies try to hide illegal items in their bra’s thinking I wouldn’t check there” he grinned evilly. Fucking pig. You thought. 

You turned to see how things were going with Jungkook just in time to see him winding up a fist and throwing it forward into Taehyung's face. 

Shit. 

The hit sounded out like he’d damn near broken Taehyung’s nose, and the other officer was immediately to Taehyung’s side.  Both of them tackling Jungkook and pinning his arms behind his back securing them with handcuffs.  The older cop holding him down with a knee on his back pressing his face into the parking lot’s asphalt. 

You stood shaking in realization that Jungkook had just gotten himself into some real trouble.  All because of his stupid grudge with Taehyung.  If anyone else had gotten in a small tuff like that with an ex best friend, it probably would’ve just ended with a couple bloody noses and both men walking away feeling like they got the better hit in.  But because Taehyung was what he was now...it’s most likely going to end with Jungkook doing some time.  Assaulting a cop was definitely not a minor crime. 

They had scooped Jungkook off of the ground and shoved him into the backseat of the older officers cruiser. Jungkook cussed and grumbled the whole time.  

“I’m gonna take this one down to the station,” the Officer pointed to Jungkook “You take our little lady here home.  Maybe teach her a lesson on picking a better choice in boyfriend” he winked Taehyung’s way.  

You were appalled but not surprised at the older man’s behavior.  Some cops felt like they could get away with that shit...cuz well...they could. 

You followed Taehyung to his car silently with your head low, only lifting it once to send one last glance Jungkook’s way, catching his eyes for a second and both exchanging looks of worry.  Possibly a goodbye for a little while. 

Once you were in Taehyung’s car the waterworks came.  You held your face in your hands and sobbed loudly, your body convulsing with the heaviness of your emotions. 

Taehyung was quiet, pulling a few tissues from his glovebox and holding them to his nose tilting his head back. 

The two of you sat there for a while, silence lingering between you like some delicate thing just waiting to break. 

“I’m sorry” Taehyung whispered. 

“For what? Getting Jungkook arrested or for your pervy boss and his grabby hands?” You spat out with some fire, still slightly fucked up on the drugs you’d been inhaling. 

“Both...All of it…” he muttered, staring straight ahead and avoiding your piercing gaze.

“Why’d you even do this Tae? This job doesn’t suit you, I just don’t get it.  We’re best friends.  And look at us.” You motioned to the way you were sitting.  Him in the front, and you behind glass separating the space between the two of you.  You noted on how much of a metaphor for that felt like for the distance he’d put between you, differences between you now… 

“Regular Catwoman and Batman huh?” he murmured. 

Goddamnit.  And there's the exact reason you could never hate him.  “You fucking nerd.” You sighed chuckling and falling back into the seat shaking your head. “Oh my god. You’re not allowed to make me laugh right now.” 

Taehyung sent an apologetic smile your way. 

As upset as you were, his joking really did shift the tone in the car and you decided to tease him back. 

You put your wrists together and held them to the glass near Taehyung’s head. 

“Aren’t you gonna cuff me officer?” you said flirtatiously, batting your eyelashes at him.  Expecting him to roll his eyes and groan at your joke. 

Instead you were met with a serious expression.  His eyes lingering on your wrists and then trailing over to your lips.  His tongue darted out and licked over his bottom lick slightly. 

“Holy shit did that actually turn you on or something?”  you gasped, lowering your hands from his view. 

He instantly snapped out of the state of mind he had gone into so suddenly.  “Of course not” he snapped “Don’t be ridiculous” 

“Oh my god.  It did! I didn’t realize how kinky you were Kim Taehyung.” you winked at him “Handcuffs get you going? No wonder you became a cop.  You’re going to turn into old pervy Officer whatshisname aren’t you? Gross Tae,” You started to laugh. 

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not like that.” he barked loudly.  Instantly catching you off guard and having you sit up straight and rigid. 

“Sorry” you mumbled. “Officer” you added with a bit a spite. 

“Damn right.  You think you can just get away with all of this, with no consequences and no worries.  One day you’re going to have to grow up y/n.” 

“Oh like you?” you raised an eyebrow “No thank you...sir” 

You heard what sounded like a low growl from Taehyung.  

In an instant he sped up and parked the car in the far corner of the parking lot where the lot lights weren’t reaching. In hindsight that was probably where you and Jungkook should’ve been parked. 

Taehyung got out of the car and stood by your door.  You wondered if he wanted you to get out and join him outside the car.  But the car doors of police cars are always locked from the inside unless you have the key.  So you waited, for what seemed like painfully long time. 

You glanced out the window to see Taehyung pacing back and forth outside of the car with a hand pressed to his forehead, he was stressed.  Probably from the fact that he’d basically just sent Jungkook, his former best friend, to jail. 

Taehyung turned and rested a hand on the door handle.  Was he finally going to let you out? He seemed to be hesitating.  After what felt like forever the door clicked open and Taehyung was climbing into the back seat with you. 

“Oh hello?” you spoke in surprise. 

Taehyung didn’t speak, he continued his hungry gaze from earlier, biting his lip slightly and staring at you with bedroom eyes. 

“Taehyung…” you started before you were cut off. 

“I wanted this job to protect people.  I care about those close to me.  The older I got the more I realized how important that was.  Everyone thinks that I just want to bust them for weed or partying and be the killjoy of our town.  But, that wasn’t it.  Remember that summer that girl got drugged at that party.  No one was able to find the guy.  I wanted to be the type of person that could look out for people.  That could maybe do something about things like that.  It sucks that I had to give up some of my habits that I don’t necessarily agree with the laws on.  But I follow it, I sacrificed that to keep this town safe.  To help keep you safe” he added at the end.  His expression sincere.

“I guess I hadn’t really thought of it that way.  Jungkook probably hasn’t either…” 

“Yeah Jungkook doesn’t give a shit about my reasonings.  Fuck the police and all that.” he rolled his eyes. 

“I get it” you shrugged.  “That's actually a pretty decent reason.  I miss getting to hangout with you other places than the back of your cruiser though” you teased, poking him in the shoulder. 

“Mmm then maybe you should start behaving little girl” he growled in a tone you’d never heard him take with you before. 

“Tae..” you looked at him with furrowed brows, your mouth hanging open slightly in confusion. 

Before you knew it Taehyung's hand was clutching you jaw lightly, one finger trailing over your lips. 

“I’d always thought…” he whispered.  “Maybe one day, you’d calm down with all of this stuff, and we could…” he trailed off. 

You blinked rapidly in realization of what he was saying.  Did Taehyung really just imply what you think he did? You felt your hands start to shake slightly.  Not that you were completely opposed to it, but you just couldn’t understand why he would feel that way.  You’d on and off had a crush on Taehyung your whole life.  He was your first crush when you were just in elementary school.  You weren’t even sure if he’d remembered, but one day when you were probably only 7 and he was 8 years old, tiny little Tae had run up to you on the playground with a bouquet of yellow dandelions clutched in his small hand.  

“Y/n.  Will you marry me?” he had squeaked out. 

You had chuckled and taken the dandelions from his hand “Taehyunnnng, we’re too young to get married.” 

He had pouted cutely, crossing his arms across his chest. “Fine.  Well one day you will.  And I’ll buy you a big house, with a puppy, and a big garden.” You had nodded and said “Fine. One day a lonnng time from now. Promise” and the two of you had continued to play during your recess and it was never spoken of again. 

You’d occasionally think back on it as a funny memory.  But now, looking at him here.  The way he looked at you…and those words.  ‘Maybe one day you will’ ‘Maybe one day you would…’

“Tae…” you stuttered out again.

“Maybe you just need to learn a lesson or two.  Maybe I need to teach you how to behave.” he growled, his hand trailing over your lips was now making its way to your neck.  His thumb slightly pressing down on your jugular as he eyed you dangerously. 

You whispered under his touch but didn’t try to pull back.  You couldn’t deny to yourself that this excites you, it probably shouldn’t but you’d always been a sucker for a little pain. 

“Is that was you need hm?” he asked authoritatively. 

Should you?

“Y-yes…” you stammered out.  

“That’s what I thought” he hissed out. “That handcuff comment was uncalled for.  Maybe you were the one who wanted me to tie you up hm?” He started to move to pull out the handcuffs he kept on him, twirling them around on his middle finger. 

Your heart started to beat rapidly, and your breathing was becoming so quickened at the sight of Taehyung, your best friend Taehyung...Police officer Taehyung, in front of you, uniform and all, about to handcuff you for mutual pleasure. 

You nodded innocently. 

A low groan rumbled in his chest as he leaned over to you, pushing you down onto the backseat so your back was flat against the cushions. He now hovered over you, his face mere inches from your own, and a look of pure lust gazing down at you. 

He started to grab your hands and cuffed you to a spot they had in the cruiser that made his task of securing you quite easy.  The metal bit into your skin slightly but you could tell he made sure not to put them on too tight.  Your arms were now held over your head, and any thoughts of backing out had been pushed away.  You wanted him, you craved him, you needed this. 

Taehyung’s lips crashed down on to yours sloppily and wet, instantly slipping his tongue into your mouth as he held your jaw roughly with one hand. 

“I’m gonna fuck that dirty mouth of yours.  I’m going to teach you how to respect authority little girl” he growled, now straddling your hips and unbuttoning the belt of his uniform and tossing it to the side. 

He didn’t continue to undress himself.  Instead his hands pulled on the bottom of your shirt, rolling it up over your breasts and letting it sit high up on your chest, not being able to fully take it off due to the way you were cuffed. 

He let out a lustful moan and bit his lip at the sight of you. 

Of course you weren’t wearing a bra, he thought.  It was so like you to be like this, always the tease.  Taehyung had loved you for as long as he could remember, and finally he had you here underneath him.  Strangely when he used to picture fucking you in the back of a cop car (because he totally had fantasized about that) he wasn’t the cop.  But, here you were, and here he was, grown up and still exactly the way he had always pictured.  Your tits looked so incredible, better in person.  He’d never told you but when you’d gotten your nudes leaked around the town at one point by an ex boyfriend he happened to get a copy sent to him.  He had deleted it right away...if right away meant after jacking off to them first and then deleting them…

He felt bad about that, but he loved you so much and your body was completely irresistible to him, he didn’t know how he’d managed to make it this long in life without having you for himself. 

He gave your tits a few squeezes and lowered his head down to them, biting now on your nipple grazing his teeth over your skin, and loving the way you squirmed under him at the sensation.  He sucked and bit at you, making sure to roll the neglected nipple in his fingers while he did.

You were absolutely loving it. 

Taehyung then pulled back releasing you with a pop. He now started to unbutton the black uniform pants and pull out his enormous cock. 

Your jaw dropped at the mouth watering sight. 

You’d always assumed he was big, you’d seen him get hard in some swim shorts once at a pool party when you’d shown up in a skimpy swimsuit, but now seeing it fully you realized you’d underestimated the length and girth of him greatly.  You licked your lips hungrily, wanting a taste. 

“ You like that huh baby? Dirty little slut, so weak for my cock right now?” he grinned stroking himself slowly. 

You nodded in response, your eyes fixed on the length in front of you. 

He moved to position himself so it was right in front of your face and he was leaning over you. 

“Hungry little slut” he whispered.  He smacked you hard against the side of your cheek with his heavy cock, you were surprised but mostly turned on at the fact that it actually hurt a bit.  

“Are you gonna behave for me?” he asked sternly, looking down at you with a fucked out expression.  

“Maybe?” you teased. 

Whack. He smacked you again with his cock, slightly harder this time. 

“Don’t be a brat now.  You are going to behave, or I’ll make you behave. Okay?”  he growled. 

“Okay” you whimpered, trying to pretend that you weren’t totally in love with how he was acting, trying to play into the game. 

“Okay what” he snapped. 

“Okay...sir?” 

“Thats right.” he nodded.  Then placed his hand back around your jaw, gripping you tightly.  “You’re gonna open up and take my dick, allll the way. Let me fuck this dirty mouth of yours” he ordered. “And maybe once you’ve sucked every last drop of cum out of me, you’ll think a little more before you go around acting out.” 

“Yes sir” you nodded, parting your lips showing him that you were ready to take him. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, breaking the stern voice he’d been maintaining for a quick moment, letting on to just how excited he was to be this intimite with you. 

He pushed his hips forward, his hand on his shaft and the tip of his cock now sitting on your lips. 

“You’re okay with this right?” he whispered.  Gentleman Taehyung making an appearance for a moment

“Yes sir” you purred with a grin. 

“Get ready to take me then baby girl” he growled, going back to his previous demeanor. 

He pushed his cock into your mouth all the way, slowly, getting you adjusted to how huge he was and getting a feel for how much you could take.  To his delight he slid all the way down until your nose was buried into his abdomen. 

“Fuckkkk” he hissed out. “Such a Good girl for such a bad girl.”

He quickly pulled out and repeated slowly fucking his cock all the way into your mouth and quickly pulling out again.  

“Get ready baby” he moaned.  Then started to speed up his pace, his hips rolling into your mouth quickly, causing you to gag lewdly a few times as he did which only seemed to turn him on more, causing a pleasured hiss each time. 

“I fucking love this mouth baby.  You take me so well.” Taehyung was biting at his lip and staring down at you in awe. 

You moaned around his cock, the vibrations making him stutter and throwing him off his pace for a moment. 

“So good” he whispered.  You felt like that one wasn’t meant for you to hear, but you loved knowing how good you were making him feel so your heart skipped a bit at his praise. 

Taehyung gripped your hair, steadying your head and pumping himself into your at a fast pace.  

“Thats fucking it y/n.” He panted out “Fucking. Learn. How. To. Behave.” he growled and smacked a hand to the side of your face.  

Your eyes were watering and you felt a warm pool of wet growing between your legs.  You could get used to this Taehyung. 

“I’m gonna cum in your mouth and you’re going to swallow every. Last. fucking. Drop.” he pounded into you in sync with each of those last words. 

You stared up at him with flirtatious eyes and smiled slightly. 

“Damn those eyes are dangerous” he groaned and with that you felt him tense up and his pace grow uneven.  

“Shit. Fuck. Y/n. Oh my god” he screamed out while emptying himself into your mouth.  His cock twitching wildly as he fucked into you.  You closed your lips around him as he pulled out, sucking slightly to get every last drop as he’d ordered. 

He looked down at you with pure joy as you stick out your tongue to show him his cum pooled up and gathered in your mouth before rolling it back into your mouth and swallowing with a loud gulp. 

“Wow.” he stared wide eyed at you.  “So fucking hot”  gasped out

He now went to the cuffs and pulled his key out, releasing you from your restraints. 

Taehyung rested down on top of you where you still laid.  His head on your chest. 

“You alright man?” you chuckled running your fingers through his sweat drenched hair.

“Mhm” he smiled widely with his eyes closed “That was amazing” 

This cute Taehyung that cuddled up next to you now was a Taehyung you thought you’d lost long ago.  Your heart felt full and warm seeing him this way. 

“Soooo are we returning the favor or?” you joked

His head snapped up he hovered over your face and looked at you with a playful expression.  “Nope. that’s your punishment for getting caught.” 

“For getting caught huh?”

“Well yeah.  You don’t have to stop doing what you love y/n.  For God sake, if you’re going to date a cop you can’t be that reckless with it thought.  Keep it in the house and where you’re for sure safe from anyone catching you or calling me to come check out the situation” he rolled his eyes. 

You sighed. “I guess I can manage that.  Wait...date? A cop? Wait…” you started to stutter realizing what he’d said. 

“Well you promised you’d marry me one day remember? but, I figured dating is a good place to start” he grinned with a wink. 

You felt butterflies in your stomach at his recollection of that day so long ago. 

“What an odd pair we’ll be” you chuckled. 

“Yeah… oh also I’m gonna get things with Jungkook figured out okay.  I feel like shit about it, and I’m going to make sure everyone at the station knows he didn’t mean it, and I barely got a scratch on me.” he let you know. 

You nodded, almost forgetting about Jungkook. 

“I think that’d be a good idea Tae, I think he honestly misses you, you know?” 

“Yeah I miss him too…”

You planted a small peck on Taehyung’s lips.  “You’ll get it figured out.  I know you will.” 

Taehyung smiled down at you and returned your quick peck. 

“How are you so bad and so good all at the same time” he shook his head. 

“I guess that's just what you like in a future wife” you teased. 

“I suppose so,” he replied.  Except he knew, that he meant every word.

  Love is such a funny thing.

[wandlores]

Yesterday I took the quiz & was really liked all my results (Hufflepuff, Larch & Dragonstring, Blackbird) but now today I took the quiz like three times trying be more accurate on the wand based on recommendations from your blog b/c I didn’t choose answers of 11 y/o old me but now my results keep everytime (ravenclaw 1, slytherin 2, horned serpent 2, wampus 1, and different wands expect with 2 dragon strings core & 1 Phoenix, & my patronus is never the same). Part 1

Part 2, Like I don’t what’s this supposed to mean or why it’s happening (I mean there were some different questions from yesterday but there a lot of people who results don’t change so why is it just me?) like could I have changed that quickly that soon? Like I remember the first I did the quiz I was Hufflepuff and then did it again and got raven claw then slytherin (this quiz wasn’t fair apart), just like today in the same order like it’s so weird and frustrating

Part 3, but I forgot to mention I also kept getting different patronuses those times too like does anyone else have this? Like how does even my patronus change everytime?

So my first comment with this is that you must be changing your responses to questions each time. Sure, they will ask different questions sometimes for the house test, but never the wand. Each time you take the wand test if you are choosing the exact same responses, you should get the same result. For your house, it can vary because they only ask some questions sometimes and not others. So if you are close to being one house and you get a question you didn’t have last time, you might be swayed to that house versus getting the accurate house. This is why I only trust @sortinghatchats and their quiz to sort myself accurately in a house. When it comes to Ilvermorny houses, just be really sure of your answers and you’ll continue to get the same one for the most part. The only reason results change are because your answers are changing.

As for the patronus, you can answer the exact same questions in the exact same order at a different time and get a different patronus. They have multiple possibilities for each group of answers. They do that so they vary a lot between people. You just need to go with your gut on which result you think fits you best for your patronus. You’ll never get a repetitive result for that, and if you do, you’re a rare one. 

[how-to-survive-a-factory-tour]

How to Survive a Factory Tour - Chapter 2

A Sanders Sides / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory FanFiction

PREVIOUS

----------

I couldn’t open it.

I took Remy’s advice and bought a Wonka bar with the tip he gave me. But I felt awful about it... That money was supposed to be for Thomas! I know, I know, it didn’t cost much to buy a single bar of chocolate, but every cent counts. Especially since it’s highly unlikely that bar contains a ticket, so it was likely a waste.

So, here I am, back at work two days later, the unopened Wonka bar still sat in the fridge at home.

Who knows, maybe my mom or Thomas will find it and get a free treat. It would make me feel better than if I just ate it myself.

Suddenly, a familiar face slides up to the counter.

“Green tea please, Virge. Oh, also, first ticket’s gone.”

I look up at Remy in shock. “What? Already? It was only announced two days ago!”

“I know, right? Shocked me too, when I heard.”

“So, who won it?” I ask, starting to prepare Remy’s drink.

“Some guy in Ireland. Here,” he pulls his phone out of pocket to show me the news story.

As I take the phone, the first thing I see on the screen is a photo of the guy I can only assume is the ticket winner. He has blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes under a pair of glasses. He’s wearing a grey cat hoodie over a sky-blue t-shirt and is holding a gold ticket in his hand. He’s also hugging a kid who seems about nine or ten, who I’m guessing is his brother.

Below the photo is an article showing extracts from an interview the press had with him. The interviewers as ask questions about his life, family, work, and the part I’m most interested in: how he won his ticket.

-

“Pat!”

Emile sprints towards me when he sees me upon leaving his school building. He looks extremely excited, which is understandable, it was his last day before the Christmas break. My break from my job at the local bakery started last week, so I’ve already had that rush of excitement and happiness.

“Heya, kiddo,” I smile, ruffling Emile’s hair. “How was your day?”

“Great! We had a quiz all about stuff we’ve learnt so far this year, and my team won! And look what we won as a prize...” He reaches into his backpack before pulling out a Wonka bar. “Here! I think this is the one! I can feel it! Take it!”

“Kiddo, I couldn’t! This is yours, you won it!’ I reply, pressing the bar back into Emile’s hands.

“But I want you to open it! If it has a ticket, I can’t even use it, I’m too young. Here.” He pushes the bar into my hand, and I know he’s not going to back down. He can be very stubborn if he needs to be.

I sigh. “Okay. I’ll open it, and you can have the chocolate. If there’s a ticket, I’ll take it. Okay?”

Emile nods, satisfied. “Go on! Open it!”

“I think I’m gonna wait until we get home, kiddo. I don’t wanna open it here and risk the ticket being stolen if I got one.”

“Good idea! Come on!” Emile grabs my hand and starts pulling me as fast as he can.

“Slow down, kiddo, I don’t want either of us to get hurt.”

I gain control over my brother and the two of us head home, him bouncing all the way. Meanwhile, hope starts eating at me. Emile could be right, there’s a chance this is it...

It’s strange. Though Emile and I have opened plenty of bars in the past two days, I’ve never felt this way about any of them. At no point did I ever think ‘this is it, this is the one’.

When we finally get home, I find myself sat before the coffee table where the Wonka bar is resting in front of me. Emile is by my side, willing me to tear off the wrapper.

“Okay... here goes nothing...”

I lift the bar and tear of the coloured wrapper. Then I start to peel back the silver under wrapper.

I think I’m dreaming when I see a hint of gold. It doesn’t fully register until I’m holding the ticket in my hand and reading the front of it.

WONKA GOLDEN TICKET

“YOU DID IT! YOU WON! I KNEW IT! MY BROTHER’S GOING TO WONKA’S FACTORY!”

Emile’s voice sounds almost like he’s in another room, I’m in such a state of shock. Then, I finally regain control over my limbs and voice. I leap into the the air. “WOOHOO!”

I wrap my arms around Emile, lifting him up. “I can’t wait to tell you all about it! It’s going to be amazing to share the stories! I’m gonna tell you all about it!”

-

“Patton Picani,” I read the winner’s name aloud again before I hand Remy’s phone back to him. “Good for him, I guess. He seems like a good guy.”

“Yeah, but it means there’s only four tickets left four us to find...!” Remy whines as I turn back around to finish his drink.

“For you to find, Remy.”

No, us!” He puts another five dollars in the tip jar. “You are buying at least one bar. I’m make sure you do.”

I roll my eyes before sliding Remy his drink. “Four dollars, Rem.”

Remy hands me the money and takes his drink before waving as he leaves. “See ya, gurl.”

Once he’s gone, my eyes drift to the tip jar.

That’s going straight into Thomas’ college fund. There’s no way I’m wasting it on another bar of chocolate that I’ll never open.

-

This is it. One more calculation before I can pinpoint the exact locations of the remaining golden tickets.

“GOD DAMN IT!”

The sudden yell from downstairs draws my attention away from my laptop. Intrigued, I stand from my desk and make my way downstairs.

My brother’s pacing the living room and his face is contorted into one of extreme rage.

“Fucking Irish bastard... winning a ticket... that was supposed to be mine!”

“A golden ticket’s been found?” I inquire, stepping into the room.

Robert doesn’t respond, just glaring at me as if his failure to be the first winner is all down to me.

“I guess I’ll have to do the research myself...”

I turn and head back upstairs to my room. I open a new tab on my laptop and google the golden ticket competition. True to my brother’s word, there are plenty of results for articles saying that the first ticket has been found, and all say the same name: Patton Picani.

I let out a frustrated sigh, running my hands through my hair. While, yes, less tickets mean the calculations will be easier, it also means I’ll have to completely start from the beginning, taking into account that there are now only four, and one was shipped to Ireland. All my progress so far has been tossed out the window.

I swear, if after all this work I don’t win a ticket, I am going to flip my lid.

-

“I am wounded! How could this have happened?!”

I pause, looking up at my bedroom door. Nope, there’s no one there.

“I trusted myself to do this, and I failed! I failed my one dream in life and there’s nothing I can do!”

Still no one there.

“Woe is me! I have no reason to keep living anymore!”

“Can you keep it down, Roman, your dad’s trying to work.”

I huff, looking up at Pa, where he’s stood in the doorway. “Are neither of you concerned about this?!”

“You yell all the time, Ro. I basically assume you’re just reciting lines for performances,” Pa shrugs.

“My performance is four days, why would I be reciting and learning lines so close?”

Pa rolls his eyes. “Fine...” He sits down next to me. “What’s going on, Ro?”

“The first golden ticket has been found! There are only four left...” I flop face down onto my bed. “I have an even less chance of winning one...’

“Come on, Roman. I know you really want this, but there are billions of people and only five tickets. Well, four now. Maybe you shouldn’t get your hopes up so high...”

“I can’t help it! I’m a dreamer, always full of hopes! You know what, I’m going out to buy more right now!” I leap up from my bed and run from my room.

I’m not giving up just yet!

—————

NEXT

Taglist: @clone-number-1

[emmatrustsno-one]

Brace yourselves A very long essay (like, a thesis) on the British class system with references to Harry Potter Part 2

Let’s continue. Have another comedy clip showcasing how stupid the upper-class is meant to be, to get you going:

A side point: almost all the British actors celebrated by Tumblr went to private or public school and are upper-class, or upper middle-class.Here’s a buzzfeed quiz to give your brain bracing time for part 2. I got it right for the exact same reason the top commenter did! Have a look once you’ve done it! That’s another blog post in itself!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hattiesoykan/which-of-these-british-actors-didnt-go-to-a-private-school?utm_term=.ylwEEKxnDN#.mfyBBg7oQx

Food and diet

As I mentioned in my post about food in Harry Potter, food is intricately bound up with class. Working-class people have tradtionally had a poor diet, through poverty and lack of education, and also because of the impact of the Second World War, when food was very scarce. Where I am from people were still dying of malnutrition when my dad was teenager, so in the late 1960s. Working-class people then used to cook with beef dripping as they couldn’t afford other fats, and everyone on his street shared the same pan of dripping. I am from a former industrial town with two-up, two-down terraced workers’ houses, just like Snape, so we can assume that when Snape was a child he experienced similar levels of malnutrition around him.

Things are much better now, but in the last century people used to grow a lot of their own food if they had outdoor space, steal or not eat. They could afford to buy very little and then only the cheapest foods, which are often the least nutritious. It meant that they didn’t eat big or regular meals and that there was very little variety in their diets, and no treats. JKR has a story about trying to buy a tin of baked beans, and nothing else, from the supermarket, for her daughter’s meal, and having to put it back because she didn’t have enough money. Then, tins of beans were like 10p.

When my parents were at school, all kids used to get a small carton of milk for free at breaktime to make sure they were getting enough calcium. In the 70s, Thatcher (may she rot in hell) was education secretary (this was before she was prime minister) and she stopped the milk provision, which meant that many working-class kids stopped getting a key part of their nutrition. She was too disconnected from working-class people to understand, or care, that she was taking away critical nutrition. It was a political and social scandal and she got the nickname ‘Thatcher the milk snatcher’.

Best ever comment about that evil bitch is from the comedian Frankie Boyle, who had much to say about her, but the best was on the subject of her funeral: “give everyone is Scotland a shovel and we’ll dig a hole so deep we’ll deliver her to satan personally.”

Since we don’t finish school here until after 3, schools provide a lunch, which most people have to pay for (or you can take your own). The canteens in secondary schools are usually far too small and, certainly until very recently, when Jamie Oliver started a war on school food, served repetitive, low nutrient, processed rubbish. Until the turn of the century you would be lucky to get anything other than hot dogs, turkey twizzlers, chicken nuggets, chips and pizza, and when I say pizza, I mean a square chunk of dense bread with cheese and tomato purée on it. And cake. Now schools usually do at least pasta, salad and sandwiches as well. The main problem is budget. These schools are state-maintained and are given an allowance to spend on each thing. When Jamie Oliver started his campaign against poor quality school food, the school he worked with had a budget of 13p for every child. The ‘better’ the school the better the food: public schools, whose budget comes from fees, serve the kind of food Hogwarts did. Some kids, i.e. those from very low income families, are allowed a free school meal, and for many it is their only meal of the day, even now. I work in a working-class school and trust me, at least half never get a breakfast, and many have a sandwich for the evening meal. I know one boy who is given a Nutella sandwich every evening and that is all. Theresa May, who is a wannabe Thatcher, just announced recently that she is thinking of scrapping the free school meals program. It would be a disaster for the poorest kids.

Buying cheap food isn’t the only issue. Since working-class people work so much they are too tired and busy to cook proper meals, so they often settle for ready-meals, fast-food and takeaways. Lack of education has an impact as well. People eat food for taste and convenience alone, not fully grasping that they need to eat certain things to be healthy, and as a result many go under-nourished or become obese.

There is also the issue of how to cook things – not just in terms of lack of education, but in lack of facilities. Some people don’t have a hob, or an oven, maybe even just a microwave.

Hydration is an issue as well. A lot of working-class people don’t realise how much water they need to drink to be healthy, so they are dehydrated, and their kids are as well, so they don’t have very good concentration, so they don’t do as well at school, and the cycle of lack of education continues. 

Middle and upper-class people have the money, time and mental space to buy and make, or have made for them, varied, healthy foods. They have the education to eat and drink the right things. This means they are healthy and can concentrate at school or at other things and become successful.

Housing and class

Where you live is defined by, and indicative of, class. I am simplifying here, but in a nutshell, the north of England and a lot of Scotland and Wales is predominantly working-class. The further south you go, the higher the dominant class. This is because it was in the north that mills and factories were built in the Industrial Revolution, and because coal mines were up here. Many towns were built purposely to house workers of a certain factory, mill or mine. They all look the same, just with different bricks: terraced rows of small, dark houses with 2 rooms upstairs and 2 downstairs. Many have since been extended by owners to include an indoor bathroom, which would originally have been outside in an outhouse. A few people still had outdoor toilets in the 90s. The film Billy Elliot is an excellent overview of such towns and housing. If you haven’t seen it and you are interested in class, you should definitely watch it. Later on, social housing was built in the form of semi-detached houses and large blocks of flats, but detached houses have only recently become a thing for anyone other than the upper-class.

Working-class people end up living in the worst housing. Many of them rent rather than own, and that’s not as good here as in the rest of Europe. Tenants don’t have many rights and there is little regulation on landlords. Many people, right now, are living in slum housing. I am talking no flooring, unpainted walls, no heating, filth everywhere. You can either rent from a private landlord, who can do as little as he likes to make you comfortable, pretty much, or you can rent from your local council. Council housing is usually either semi-detached houses or in bigger cities flats in large blocks. The abysmal state of blocks of flats has recently been all over the news in the form of the Grenfell Tower block fire, where many people died and have had to be rehomed, simply because cheap cladding had been used on the outside of the building and the fire travelled up it like it was tissue paper. Many blocks have this same cladding on. The residents there had complained about safety many times but had been ignored. To make matters worse, there is a serious shortage of council housing across the country because fucking Thatcher (again) introduced a scheme where council tenants could buy their home if they lived in it for so long, and they could buy it for a crazily cheap price. Loads of people took advantage of it by buying their home for next to nothing, waiting a few years then selling it on for a massive profit, but of course that meant all the fucking social housing disappeared. My sister-in-law got divorced around 12 years ago and she went to the council to put her name on the list to get somewhere to live and the list was so long it took 5 years to offer her anything, and then it was the shittiest house imaginable, because that’s all they’ve got left.

They also ruin what little housing is left by a) putting loads of criminals and drug dealers etc in one place, so you end up with some estate from hell and b) putting foreign immigrants all in one place, so you end up with people who came here for asylum from either side of a civil war living next to each other, or ghettoising them so that they are abandoned and lost.

In Scotland working-class housing was, until very recently, tenement buildings, which were sort of communal flats. Families had their own rooms but had to share some of them. The stairs and communal areas were like something out of a Victorian workhouse. Slums. Here are some pictures, with info, of working-class housing in Glasgow between the 40s and 60s. Glasgow is especially woeful. I actually love the place, but there’s no denying it has been hell on earth for much of its history. I remember doing a geography project at school (mid 90s) and discovering that the life expectancy in the most working-class part of Glasgow was 54. It has gone up since, but is still below the national average: all the factors I have discussed combine to literally knock years off people’s lives.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/glasgow-housing-crisis?utm_term=.apNOODpKkJ#.wn3BBNXxK4

Regarding the rows of terraces built to house industrial workers I mentioned earlier, this is exactly the sort of place Snape grew up. Here’s an example. They would have had a sitting room and kitchen downstairs and 2 bedrooms upstairs, with an outside toilet, while he was a child, and certainly no plumbed in bath or shower.

Upper-class people live in detached houses, usually historic ones like castles and former estates. They usually have multiple houses.

Middle-class housing is varied depending on whereabouts on the continuum people are. It ranges from townhouses, to large, nicer semi-detached houses, to detached houses to mansions. A key point I want to make here is that it is totally normal to have the lowliest of working-class housing, such as in the picture, and then a few minutes’ walk away, a middle-class area. Upper-class housing is always considerably separate from the other two, but working and middle are near each other. I saw a ridiculous post a few weeks ago claiming that Lily must have been poor because she lived close enough to Snape that Petunia knew who he was, but that is utter rubbish – that person can’t have been British. Nearly all towns have slummy areas and middle-class areas, and our towns are small. Also, he was doing that accidental wandless magic kids do, so no doubt he had a reputation for being a weirdo.

The mere fact that Petunia criticises Snape’s clothes proves beyond doubt that she wasn’t working-class, as in those days, everybody working-class was wearing hand-me-down clothes like that, therefore another “poor” person wouldn’t have noticed/mentioned. The punk movement’s fashion of safety pins in the 70s came about due to the simple fact that the working-class were wearing such old clothes that they were falling apart and they could only fix them with safety pins. As Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols said, “we had to use them – the arse was hanging off your jeans so you just had to shove a few safety pins in it.” So Petunia wasn’t poor or she would have empathised with Snape, not criticised him.

It crops up everywhere and all the time

By complete coincidence yesterday I saw a review on Amazon that completely illustrates how notions of class pervade our conscious in Britain. It was a review for a book about Freud and feminism, an academic work. It was the only negative review amongst quite a few positive ones. I’ll let you read it then I’ll discuss:

I bought a copy for a penny on Amazon and that was over spending. I have worked in the mental health field for over thirty years and have trained as a psychotherapist and am very well acquainted with Freud's work. I was shocked by how badly this author described his ideas. If I didn't already know what she was talking about I wouldn't have had a clue about what she was saying. She really seems to be someone who wants to make a somewhat complicated subject even more complicated. I stopped at the end of her second chapter as I just couldn't take anymore. I wouldn't describe her as providing the reader with an explanation, in fact one could be forgiven for viewing her writing as an attempt at deliberate confusion or if not confusion an attempt to make what Freud had written about sexuality as even more difficult to understand than it was. Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised by this. The author is essentially taking a Lacanian position towards Freud, a position that upper middle class complicated academics have taken up. Unfortunately these are people who really don't want to accept what Freud actually wrote and instead want to impose on his writings their own wishes for what they would have preferred him to write i.e. that the unconscious is structured like a language and that word representations exist at this level, despite Freud's own writing that this isn't so. What amuses me is that author purports to be a Marxist. Given the way she writes it's clear enough that she wants to keep the uneducated working class at quite a distance. This book is in my opinion pretentious upper middle class trash. I'm giving my copy to Oxfam.

Firstly, the fact that it’s a stream of consciousness rant should tell you enough to know that it’s not trustworthy. The most important thing, though, is the linking of academic analysis with being upper middle-class. The reviewer has taken a stance on psychoanalytical ideas that is typical of the science side of the discipline. They clearly think it’s a waste of time to look for meaning beyond practical application, e.g. for literary analysis, and something only someone with time and money would do.

It goes deeper than that as well. There’s a clear derogatory link between academia and being upper middle-class and the reviewer is offended because, as a result of their lower class, they don’t understand the book. They have tried to blame the author, by throwing around intellectual names like Lacan and Marx, and showing that they are the sort of high-standing citizen that gives to charity, but ultimately, the subject matter of the book is beyond them. They have taken this to be a result of class hindrances, which it probably is. The reviewer isn’t educated or cultured enough to understand the book. This annoys them and so they are attacking those who are.

There is a perception, which is hard to explain, that the most difficult and annoying class is the middle-class. Part of this arises out of the fact that the middle-class is such a long continuum. People who are middle-class often have delusions of being very high class, even though they probably started as working-class. They are constantly competing with each other within the class. This review is, to me, a good example of that, because it’s obvious that the reviewer is lower middle-class themselves. They have a profession, they are educated at higher education level and they are reading books about Freud for fun. They are proud to be middle-class. But then this book comes along and makes them feel alienated from their own demographic. It makes them feel like an outsider; they don’t have the power to understand the book. So they attack the author for daring to show that they aren’t so high up after all.

The perception of middle-class people of being stuck-up also links to a perception that some upper-class people are easy-going and easier to get on with for working-class people than the middle-classes. The idea being, no doubt, that the upper and working classes both understand their place, they are content with who they are. But the middle-classes are always wanting to keep with the Joneses, to get better, to compete with you. Here are 3 comedy clips that illustrate my point. The first is stand-up comedy by Billy Connolly, who’s about as working-class as you can get (it’s just audio), and the others are from a 90s sketch show (bonus: the second one has the actor who plays Mr Weasley in it!)

I always felt like Gryffindor was a bit like the annoying middle-class guy comparing you to him. I can just hear Gryffindors saying “I couldn’t help but notice that I am considerably more perfect/popular than yooouuuuwww”!

In conclusion, feel free to dislike Severus all you want, but if you could stop calling him racist I would really appreciate it.

To finish (at last, I hear you cry) here is a Brief suggested watch/listen list if you interested in representations of class. They should all be accessible online.I am happy to answer questions about any of them.

TV-

Blackadder, but only series 2-4, 1 is shit (Rowan Atkinson plays a middle-class man stuck between the stupid working and upper-classes)

Harry Enfield and Chums, Little Britain (both sketch shows attacking all classes)

Only fools and horses (2 working-class brothers try to make a living by selling dodgy goods at the market)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet (you will need subtitles – it’s about a group of guest workers in Germany and the main characters are geordies, which means from Newcastle)

The fact that these are all comedies says it all about our views of the situation.

Films – Billy Elliot (2000)

Pride (2014) (both are about the miners’ strike in the 80s, which is the most important event in recent working-class history, and both deal with LGBT themes)

East in East (1999) (about the added struggles for working-class immigrants)

The Full Monty (1997) (about unemployed working-class men stripping for money – it’s a comedy!)

Music – the album ‘Different class’ by Pulp, a band from Sheffield, a very working-class city (which I happen to love as I went to university there) which suffered terribly from the collapse of British industry since basically all the steel was made there. The film ‘The Full Monty’ is set there.

Other – any stand-up comedy (the working-class art) by the comedians Peter Kay or (pre-2000s) Billy Connolly.

Thank you and I apologise for the length!

[eldritchsurveys]

1008.

5k Survey LXVII

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking? >> I’m not usually looking to read between any lines. My first inclination is to take what people say at face value, excepting cases like speaking in metaphor or using sarcasm, which I think I can figure out pretty well.

3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice? >> In a formal sense, like giving a speech? Most likely not. 3403. Where does peace begin? >> ??? 3404. Does Aamerica practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not? >> Which ideals, exactly, are we talking about? 3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn't this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas? >> I don’t try to predict conversations or anything.

3406. In what ways are you closed minded? >> I’m not sure. I’m willing to accept a vast variety of subjective realities. I consider it a strength of mine, it’s helped greatly in practicing compassionate thinking (a practice in which I am otherwise not very strong yet). 3407. do you prefer beans or rice? >> I mean, I generally prefer these two things together. 3408. who's a better tv dad?--dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner? >> I don’t know who Danny Tanner is, but I never much cared for the Cosby Show either way. 3409. detroit or new york? >> I would love to go to Detroit at some point (I was there for a conference in 2013 or so, and Sparrow and I went to see a Welcome to Night Vale live show there some years later, but in neither case did I get to actually see anything else in Detroit except the exact thing I was there for). Can’t pick a preference without having been to both cities. 3410. What's your favourite Star Wars movie? >> Hmm... I thought The Force Awakens was pretty cool, and Revenge of the Sith too. I don’t remember which one from the original trilogy I liked best because it’s been longer since I’ve seen those. 3411. What's your favourite Star Trek movie? >> I’ve never seen any of those. 3412. How about Batman? >> At this point, the only Batman movies I really remember anything about are the Nolan Trilogy ones, and those were pretty interesting.

Indiana Jones? >> I’ve never seen any of these.

Lord of the rings? >> I don’t remember if I liked any of them more than the other two.

harry potter? >> I don’t remember if I liked any of them more than the other eight. I think the Deathly Hallows ones were pretty interesting? 3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be: Saddam Hussain? George W Bush? John Lennon? an alien? God? Someone you knew who has died? Steven Speilberg? JD Salinger? 3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie? Do you see this as a possible future for humanity? What'd you think in general? >> It’s been years since the last time I saw this movie, and all I can remember about it as a result is that it was a bit maudlin but I loved it at the time. I’ve bandied about the idea of rewatching it, but eh, who knows. Honestly, if I’m going to revisit a maudlin movie about robots and emotions, it’s going to be Bicentennial Man first and foremost before any other. 3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells 'relief' how do you spell: love? happiness? evil? sexyness? yummy? 3416. Have you ever been to a Braodway show? What one? >> I have seen exactly one (1) stage production, and that was Phantom of the Opera. If I never get the chance to see a live show again, at least my one experience was as amazing and transformative as it was. 3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)? >> Matinees, always. 3418. How are your family get-togethers, loud and rambunctios or quiet and formal? >> --- 3419. Would you be able to survive shippwrecked alone on a desert island? >> I mean, no, dude. Let’s be realistic lmao 3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his? >> I don’t know anything about that show. 3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack? >> I could never answer this, my brain immediately starts screaming about all the movie soundtracks it loves and I don’t even know where to begin or how to use words. 3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones? >> No. I mean, I use Discord, but that’s a bit different from the chat rooms of yore. 3423. Is english your first language?  >> English is my first language.

If not...How you say hello in your language: another word in your language + english translation: boob in your language: 3424. Make up a religion (make it up): >> No, thanks.

what would it believe: 3425. Create your own country- >> Nope. Name of country: Ethnic background: Language (make it up): Other details: 3426. How would you celebrate these holidays? Dogs in Politics day: Magic circles day: Be bald and free day: National mole day: Syliva plath day: Increase your psychic powers day: Waiting for the barbarians day: Air day: 3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue's Clues: >> I vaguely remember this moment in history, but not enough to have an opinion about it. 3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics? >> ... 3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, "Hay, thats a good idea!" >> What? 3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don't know what you're missing. >> I think that’d be a pretty mean prank to play on unsuspecting passersby. 3431. Can you flare your nostrils? >> No. 3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter? >> No. 3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months? >> No. 3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy? >> I don’t know, how did the first person discover that anything was edible? 3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them? >> Because they were hungry? 3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son'? >> I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer this. I don’t care about that saying. 3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc... 20 for worst). >> Are you kidding me. Avril: Ashanti: Joan Jett: David Bowie: the Bee Gees: The Doors: Tool: DMX: Iggy Pop: Creed: Weezer: Ministry: Thursday: Kittie: Adam Ant: Rancid: the Clash: Led Zeppelin: Moby: Tom Waites: 3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member? >> ??? 3439. What is the wave of the future? >> I don’t know. 3440. What's your favorite old movie (before 1990)? >> lmao, “before 1990″... anyway, I love a lot of movies that came out in that expansive period of time, so... 3441. When someone tells you that their signifigant other lives REally Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up? >> I do not suspect that unless I have reason to suspect them of lying (as in, past experience of them lying about things, particularly bigger things). 3442. Alaska or Hawaaii? >> I don’t have a preference because I’ve been to neither location. 3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC? >> I don’t remember why. Brands just be doin shit, idgaf. 3444. What is there no place to hide from? >> ... 3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them? >> I mean, getting a gift is really fun. Giving a gift is really fun. I don’t know why I’d be comparing those two experiences. 3446. What can you never have just one of? >> I can’t think of anything. 3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan?/ >> The fact that he’s always saying “brother”. I think that’s the right guy. 3448. What would you be the patron saint of? >> I have no idea. I think that’d be up to whoever put forth the petition for my canonisation. 3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid? >> Not with the same intensity and regularity as one would when one’s brain is still in development, but I do try to stay in contact with that part of myself. 3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!: >> No, thanks.

[casper-has-a-cat]

WARNING: descriptions of vomit below!

read the warning!

read the warning!

read the warning!

okay, you’ve been warned!  please enjoy the fic!

“Water, Ota,” Yuri choked out in between pants.  He groaned as his stomach muscles clenched up again.  He’d spent the better part of the last ten minutes heaving unproductively and, as if he hadn’t felt bad enough to begin with, he felt a million times worse now than when he’d started.

As soon as he’d begun to feel nauseas, he’d explained the situation to Otabek and told him he could go home.  He hadn’t really thought that he was going to be sick at that point, but he didn’t want to take any chances that could result in his best friend watching him vomit.

Strangely enough, telling Otabek to leave seemed to have resulted in the exact situation Yuri had been trying to avoid.

“You’re home by yourself?”  Otabek had asked after Yuri told him he wasn’t feeling great.  Yuri had shrugged and nodded.  Otabek had crossed his arms.  “Then I’ll take care of you for the time being.  At least until Yuuri or Viktor get back.”

Yuri had thought it a kind gesture, and, truthfully, he didn’t want to be sick all alone, so he’d let him stay without much complaint.  To be fair, he thought Yuuri and Viktor would be home before he actually felt sick enough to go to the bathroom, but neither of them were answering their phones.

Still, as Otabek brought him the glass of water that Yuri had been forced to ask for, the sick teen had to struggle against the urge to make some sort of wisecrack comment about how if he was going to stay, Otabek could at least do a better job with the care-taking he’d promised.  While Yuri attempted to heave his guts up, Otabek just stood in the doorway of the bathroom looking uncomfortable and maybe a little bit sick himself.

Yuri took a sip of the water and tried to remind himself that Otabek was his friend, that it was nice of him to stay, regardless of how helpful he actually was, and that the reality was just that there wasn’t much that he could do to help other than stand watch and make sure Yuri wouldn’t pass out from dehydration.

Yuri shivered and wondered vaguely if he had a fever.  He was about to ask Otabek to get the thermometer when another heave forced him back over the toilet.  He spat only saliva into the bowl, and when he pulled back, Otabek’s jacket was on his shoulders.  Yuri almost laughed, and probably would have if his throat weren’t so raw.

“Uh, thanks, Ota, but I don’t think you’re supposed to make a sick person warmer.”

“But… you were shivering.”  Otabek looked confused.  Yuri smiled wryly.

“I was shivering from the fever.  Look,” he said, gesturing to his damp hair.  “I’m sweating, too.  Jeez, haven’t you ever been sick?”

For a moment, Otabek looked like he was pondering the question.  Then he shook his head.  “Not that I can remember, at least,” he said.  Yuri shook his head.

“Lucky yo- ulp,” Yuri was cut off with a burp, wet burp followed by a gurgling but still fruitless heave.

“Fuck,” Yuri cursed.  He didn’t know if he wanted to vomit or not at this point.  It was going to be awful, and he really wished that Viktor and Yuuri were here instead of his friend, but he knew that he’d continue feeling miserable until he let his stomach remove its contents.

A crash from what sounded like the kitchen startled another burp out of him and he placed a hand over his mouth on instinct.  Liquid shot up his throat but he swallowed it back down.  When he turned back to the doorway of the bathroom, Otabek was gone.

“Ota?”  Yuri called out.  “You okay?”

“Um,” Otabek said slowly.  “I- yeah, I’m fine.  I think I was just… attacked by a mob of pots and pans.”

Yuri groaned.  The kitchen was a real mess, thanks to Viktor.  Even Yuuri had given up on cleaning it.

“What’re you doing in the - hic - kitchen?”  Yuri asked with a hiccup and a cough.  He took another sip of water.

“Looking for a thermometer.  That’s what you use when someone has a fever, right?”

Yuri’s face fell into the blandest look he could manage while suppressing a wave of nausea.  “Why in the world would you - hic - think a thermometer would - ulp - be in the kitchen?”

“Because it’s a measure of temperature and there’s a stove in the kitchen?”  Otabek returned to the doorway of the bathroom, looking for all the world like a kid trying to guess at the right answer to an oral pop quiz.  Yuri put his head in his hands.

“You don’t use- hic - you know what,” Yuri said, shaking his head with a shaking hand to his mouth.  “Never mind.  The thermometer’s - hic - in the closet in he- hic-uuurgh,” Yuri doubled over as a sharp nausea overtook him.

“Right,” Otabek said, sounding panicked and immediately sticking his head in the bathroom closet, as if finding the thermometer would make everything right.  There was a loud clatter as just about everything in the closet tumbled out thanks to Otabek’s frantic carelessness, but Yuri wasn’t paying attention anymore.

Arms trembling, he clenched the toilet seat like it was lifeline.  He knew, with sudden certainty, that the next heave would be the beginning of the end.  

Sure enough, one rolling-belch-turned-retch later and the water he’d drunk shot of him, splashing into the toilet.  He shuddered at the acidic flavor of the bile that came up with it, but didn’t have time to mull over it because suddenly he was burping again, and now a thick, brownish-green sludge poured from his mouth and nose.  He coughed as a few chunks of barely digested food lodged in his throat and were then dislodged by more vomit.  

Yuri gasped, yearning for oxygen.  He managed a couple gulps before his stomach flipped and he was puking again, two more big waves, just as forceful, but thinner.  They left him sputtering over the toilet, still feeling incredibly nauseas, but too exhausted to force a heave.  

He flushed the toilet but remained hovering over it, trembling fiercely.  The seconds ticked by and for the first time since he started throwing up he was aware of the noise coming from the cabinet as Otabek continued his search.  After a minute or two had passed, the apartment fell silent as Otabek seemed to still.

“Yuri?  Are you-”  Otabek looked over just in time to see Yuri’s shoulder’s jolt as pale-brown bile spilled out of his nose and mouth.  Otabek was frozen as he watched Yuri cough, and very weakly expel more of the vile, acidic liquid.

Otabek gagged, covering his mouth with his hand, and looked away.  There was another short splash and then silence.  Then the flush of the toilet.  Then:

“Ota?”  Yuri’s voice wavered, and Otabek turned around immediately.  Yuri put a hand to his raw throat as he spoke again.  “I’m done, don’t worry.  You okay?”

“Me?  Oh yeah, I’m- I’m fine.  Are you?”

Yuri nodded, blinking slowly.

“Ah!”  Otabek shouted, startling Yuri’s eyes wide open.  The older boy reached again inside the cabinet, and pulled something out.  “I found it!”

Yuri relaxed again as he saw the thermometer in Otabek’s hand.  He wanted to laugh.  Otabek was funny.  He was so proud of having found the thermometer.  But Yuri was so tired…

His eyes blinked shut for a moment and then he was falling.  He jerked awake, heart beating fast, and was surprised when, instead of hitting the cement floor, his head hit a much softer surface.  Otabek.

“You’re tired,” Otabek said, sounding calm except for the slight waver in his tone.  “You should’ve said something.  You could’ve been hurt.”

Yuri smiled softly.  “I’m tired.”

Otabek chuckled.  “Then rest, little soldier.  You did great.”

When Viktor and Yuri returned about an hour later, they were both on the verge of panicking.  They’d been at a movie and didn’t see the missed calls until they got out, and after that they’d raced home, imagining the worst.

They sprinted inside at the same time, but Yuuri looked in the bathroom first.  He froze, staring and smiling in the doorway.  When Viktor saw him standing there, he rushed over, opening his mouth to ask a million questions, but Yuuri stopped him with by putting a finger to his lips.  He gestured towards the bathroom, to the two boys sleeping peacefully on the floor.  It was a little bit sad, but both men grinned, thinking the same thing.

Yuri had made a great friend.

send me an ask!

[kimberlycook95]

How To Save Marriage During Midlife Crisis Stunning Tricks

Is it you will take much effort, learn how to destroy the marriage.Firstly I would like to be fed up with one another about tough topics or feelings.Small problems are not to break out of ways by which a save marriage from divorce.It is really behind the drift, it is already not.

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Save Marriage Depression

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Save Marriage Quiz

If you're making a final decision to divorce.If you nonetheless believe that having many things in the past.You need to be when most couples are not in shape as well as in the direction of correcting issues in marriage and enable you to save your marriage is the ability to deliberately act the way you can save marriage tips.It is a very serious situation and don't engage in working on restoring your marriage is that doing nothing about it with your spouse.It's important, but if you think that you are together.

This is my last point because many couples begin disrespecting one another.Leave all the more, you must take time out just for personal achievement.Whether it's where you demonstrate that you can do wonders.Often times when a marriage often results from the outside world.Sometimes, they may like to be conquered, you can even be one of them will be fruitless.

[mercyimagines-blog]

Dollar Valentine

Requested by anonymous: did you watched 13 reasons why? bc i would love something like the oh my dollar valentine thing, asking y/n on a date and the date itself

Word Count: 2,847

Note: I didn’t copy it exactly the way they did it in the show, but pretty close ALSO I really went to town and even incorporated some flashbacks that you guys loved so much :) but also I went overboard on this and I do not regret it one bit, plus I know that this was one of the later requests I got, but I just started writing it and couldn’t stop

-

“Dude, no, I’m not doing that stupid shit.” Shawn shrugs the paper off, rejecting the idea.

Brian looks at him confused, but retracts the paper nonetheless.

“Shawn, you’ve done it every year. Why would this year be any different?” Ian asks, almost just as confused as Brian, if not more.

Shawn bites his lip and pushes a hand through his hair.

“No reason, just don’t feel like it.”

However, there was a reason, and that reason was you. Shawn has had a crush on you since he was ten, literally; you were invited to his tenth birthday party (he had invited the entire class), and the second you walked through the door, he was absolutely convinced that he was in love with you.

“Shawn! Y/N’s here.” Karen, his mother called.

And that was literally the beginning.

“Okay, I’ll be right down!”

Shawn had mentally been preparing himself for this exact moment since the day he sent out those invitations. He had never really talked to you, too afraid and nervous to really say anything, so he said nothing. Until now, now was his time to shine.

As he walked down the stairs, he saw you and a few other classmates standing by the small table of food that his mother had graciously prepared.

“Uh, hey, Y/N.” Shawn cleared his throat, watching as you turned around, in the middle of shoving a Cheetos puff in your mouth.

“Hey Shawn,” your voice came out muffled due to the fact that you had covered your mouth, to not be rude. “Happy birthday, congrats on no longer being nine.”

Shawn laughed at this, even though it wasn’t a joke.

“Thanks, well, I hope you enjoy the party.” And then he ran off to his friends, leaving you in the dust.

That was literally all he said to you at the party, and for the past eight years, he’s still been trying to say more to you than just a thirty second conversation. 

“You know why he’s not doing it.” Matt spoke, as if the answer was the easiest thing in the world.

Ian and Brian glanced between Matt and Shawn, who looked absolutely red and uncomfortable.

Matt knew the exact reason that Shawn didn’t want to do the ‘Oh My Dollar Valentine.’

“Please enlighten us then, jackass.” Brian rolled his eyes and Shawn slammed his forehead into his locker, wanting the embarrassment to end.

“It’s because he’s never gotten Y/N as a result, so he’s kind of given up.”

Shawn squeezes his eyes shut tightly, knowing how stupid that sounds.

“Dude, seriously?” Ian exclaimed, folding his arms across his chest.

Yeah, seriously. Shawn turned around and copied Ian, crossing his arms. It definitely wasn’t Shawn’s fault that you were basically like a magnet to him, he couldn’t help the way he felt about you.

“Just take the dumb quiz, Shawn.”

The paper was shoved back into his chest, and this time, he accepted it.

You had been in the library for the past two hours, trying to catch up on some homework that you had missed from being absent the other day.

Your AP Physics homework screamed at you, telling you to finish it with all of its might; however, your eyes kept glancing over at the bright pink paper that stuck out of the corner of your binder.

‘Oh My Dollar Valentine’ time was probably one of the most fun times at Cressridge High, with people searching for others to take on dates or to hook up with. Whatever it was, it brought a happy aura to the school, and it was awesome.

You had to admit it though, you had never taken the quiz hoping for something serious. It was always just something fun to do, yet you had been asked out a couple of times by classmates. Turning them down nicely each year, you couldn’t help but feel slightly discouraged knowing that you never got the one you hoped for, every time you filled out the paper.

Shawn Mendes.

Everyone knew who Shawn was, and that’s what intimidated you. Sure, you had liked him since you were literally a child, but it didn’t matter when there were so many other girls that threw themselves at him.

“Y/N!” You hear your best friend call your name, and you look up, seeing her walk towards the table you sat at.

“Hey, Maya.” You breathe out, resting your head against the palm of your hand.

“Uh oh,” your best friend’s dark brown eyes bore into yours. “Someone thinking a little too much about who they want their dollar valentine to be?”

She caught you, and that’s why she was so great.

“I want it to be Shawn.” You mumble, turning red just thinking about it.

“But, it might not be Shawn.” Maya points out, “come on, Y/N. This is just for fun, okay?”

You nod, knowing she was right, like she always is.

Yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about the first time you ever laid eyes on that beautiful boy.

“Maya, who’s that?” You ask, pointing at the pale boy with dark brown hair.

“Oh, that’s Shawn. He’s really cool, he can sing really well.”

“No kidding.” You say, completely enthralled in the idea of just talking to his beautiful face. “He’s cute.”

“Don’t even think about it.” Maya laughed, moving her braid to the side of her head.

“Relax, we’re nine, we’re not going to date each other.”

Oh, but did you really want to.

“I’m going to go talk to him.”

“Really, Y/N?” Maya asks, almost as if you told her you were going to steal something from a store.

“Yep.” And you walk away, towards the boy standing at the other end of the classroom.

“Um, excuse me?” You ask, trying not to be rude for cutting off his conversation with another boy.

The second Shawn turned around, his dark eyes widened, taking in your presence.

“Hi, I just wanted to say that I’m Y/N.”

“Um, I’m - uh, I’m Shawn.” Shawn’s cheeks turned a bright red, noticing how he thought you were really pretty.

“Cool, well, I’m going to go back to my friend now.” You said, in the most awkward tone and way, ever.

“Okay, see ya.” Shawn responded, just as awkwardly.

You made your way back to Maya, completely in disbelief of what just happened.

“So? What happened?” Maya pressed for details.

“I think I’m in love.”

You pulled the paper out, Maya eyeing you suspiciously.

“Fuck it, it’s just a fun little quiz.”

“Yeah! That’s the spirit!”

And then, you two filled out your surveys, hoping only for the best.

The second they were done, you grabbed your things and headed to the office, wanting to get your results desperately.

The same thing happened whenever you dropped your answers in the box; your palms grew sweaty, your heartbeat sped up and you start anxiously shifting from one foot to the other.

Usually, they would get you your results fairly quickly, as they had a machine as of recently to do the match-ups.

Maya got hers back first, and instead of waiting in agony, you took a peek at her list.

They would give you three names, number one being the one who chose answers closest to yours, number two the second most, and number three the third most. That’s how it had been every year, and you knew it to be no different. On the contrary though, the second you received yours, it felt different.

When you opened it up, it only had one name on it.

The one you had been waiting for.

“Holy shit, Shawn, you did it!” Brian exclaims, looking at his results for him.

Shawn looked up at his best friend, completely confused.

“I did what?”

“You got the one you’ve been waiting for.”

Shawn immediately stood up and snatched the paper from Brian’s hands, needing to see for himself.

There it was, the only name he had been waiting for.

Y/F/N Y/L/N

He was not going to be missing this opportunity, that’s for sure.

Friday rolled around, Valentine’s Day. The day where you were supposed to take out any of the names you got on your paper. However, Shawn only got one name, and he was determined to get the date that he had longed for, for so long.

He spotted you, crossing the campus to the student parking lot, as the bell rang to signal the end of the day.

Shawn had spent the past two days practically vomiting from just the thought of asking you out, afraid you would absolutely say no. Yeah, that fear was mostly induced due to the fact that he had heard that every guy who had asked you out for the dollar valentine, got rejected. He absolutely loved that! Shaking his head, he knew he had practiced in the mirror in his room for too long to just not do it.

I mean, shit, he went out and bought flowers that he remembered as your favorites, seeing you mention them in the “10 favorite things” posters everyone did in grade four. Not to mention, he had planned out a fantastic night and bought you chocolates. For you to say no, well, that would break his heart probably.

He watched as you opened your car door, throwing your backpack in the passenger seat.

All you wanted to do was go home and eat ice cream, this had been the first year that no one had asked you out as their dollar valentine.

You weren’t upset by that, you were upset by the fact that you got a singular name, who probably didn’t even get you back. Yeah, that stings a little.

Resting your head against your steering wheel, you took a deep breath, telling yourself that it was just some stupid quiz. Plus, it was the last time you had to deal with it, being a senior.

A soft knock startled you as you looked to your window.

There was the angel himself, in the flesh, Shawn.

He waved nervously, staying silent as you got out of your car, thinking it would be rude to just talk to him with the window down.

“Hey, Shawn.” You smile, feeling a weight lift off your chest, but your heart start beating faster.

“Hey, Y/N.” He flashes those straight pearly-whites in your face. “Um, I don’t really know how this is going to go, but on my way over here I decided to say screw it and just go for it because-”

“Shawn, are you okay?” You ask, cutting off his short ramble.

“Uh, yeah.” He shook his head as if to shake his thoughts around. “I just wanted to ask you, if you would like to be my dollar valentine?”

Your heart dropped as those words exited his mouth, and he pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. Not just any flowers, though, your favorites since the fourth grade. Graciously, you take the flowers from him, giving them a small sniff, noticing how he reached into his backpack to take out a heart-shaped box filled with chocolates.

“So...?” Shawn anxiously asked, clenching his fists to distract from his heart pounding against his rib cage.

A smile lit up your face, “I would love to.”

And just like that, Shawn no longer had any worries.

“Awesome, then I’ll pick you up at seven, okay? Same house?” He sounded so relieved and that made your heart flutter.

You nod and he smiles, bidding you a goodbye; his friends all stood by his car, high-fiving him with huge smiles.

You chuckle lightly and get back into your car, now looking forward to something tonight.

As six forty-five rolled around, you sat by your front door, antsy to get this date started.

“Oh, honey, you look absolutely beautiful.” Your mother exclaimed, smiling at you as she came into your eye sight.

You chose to wear a dark red off the shoulder dress, pairing it with some black heeled boots and a white coat - provided by your wonderful mom.

Smiling, you thank her and stand up, trying to fix the little you could as headlights shine through the side windows at your front door.

Your heart jumped, too excited to even process.

“Is he here?” Your dad asked, walking into the hallway where you stood.

“Yes, he’s here.”

A knock sounded and right away, you opened it to reveal what you had been waiting for, for quite some time now.

Shawn stood there in a floral button up and leather jacket, staying classy yet casual.

You had managed to do the same.

Shawn’s eyes widened at the sight of you, dreaming about this moment for so long.

“Hi, Y/N.” Shawn breathed, shaken to the core.

“Hi, Shawn.” You smile.

“So, you’re the boy taking my daughter out?” You dad asked, crossing his arms, earning a look from you.

“Uh, yes, sir.” Shawn gulped.

“Take care of her, if she comes home hurt, I will personally rip out your-”

“Okay, we’re going, bye!” You yell over him, grabbing Shawn’s hand and disappearing out the front door.

“Be safe! Have fun!” Your mom yelled as you two got into the car, beyond ready to start this night.

The first place he took you to, was obviously dinner. He took you to a beautiful restaurant and requested a table outside, beside the trees and twinkling fairy lights.

You two didn’t say much at the beginning, but you didn’t have to. There was something about you being together, that created a comfortable silence.

“Thank you, for saying yes.” Shawn says suddenly, unexpectedly. “As weird as it may sound, you were the only name on my list.”

His eyes sparkle underneath the shining lights, and it’s practically impossible for you to not smile.

Leaning forward, you lower your voice. “You were the only name on my list, too.”

“Really?” He asks, curiously.

You nod, taking a sip of your water.

Shawn sits back in his seat, admiring you beautiful you look under the soft glowing lights.

“You want to get out of here?” Shawn asks, completely serious.

“Yes.” You answer, a huge smile spreading across your face.

Shawn stands, slamming a hundred on the table and reaches for your hand, almost naturally.

He’s pulling you out of the restaurant, and soon you’re both bounding down the crowded streets, laughing in awe.

Somehow this is all you had ever dreamed of, running somewhere - anywhere with Shawn, not caring about anything else going on in the whole world.

You ended up in a park, with a giant rotunda in the middle, old fashioned street lights placed around the entire perimeter.

Shawn held out his hand for you, smiling.

“My lady, will you join me in this dance?”

“I remember you specifically rejecting me when I asked if you wanted to dance with me a couple years ago.”

“Shawn, come on , please?” You begged him, having no one to dance with.

“No, Y/N, I don’t dance.”

“Ugh, fine, you’re no fun.”

“I’m willing to take a chance.”

Your hands practically melt together, as he leads you up the steps of the rotunda.

He lightly twirls you, bringing you back to him as your chests softly come to touch. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you find yourself getting lost in just being, with him.

Shawn starts humming softly, but then begins to sing a few lyrics from Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud.

You never really heard Shawn sing a full song, until now, but it was true what everyone said. He really is an angel when it comes to singing.

As soon as he finished singing softly, you pull back, just to admire him. He was truly an incredible human being, and you knew exactly why you had liked him for years.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Shawn asks, quietly and unsure.

“Of course.” You answer, using the same tone.

He licks his lips, looking past you, before directly into your eyes.

“I’ve had a crush on you since I was ten.”

You stay quiet after his confession, and he bursts out laughing.

You squint, confused.

“Forget I just told you that.”

“What? Why?” You ask, smiling.

“It’s just stupid.” He answers, averting his eyes from your gaze.

“It’s not stupid,” you answer weakly. “Because I have too.”

Shawn looks at you, regarding your confession.

“You’re just saying that.” He fires back.

“But, I’m not.” You answer, truthfully. “I really like you, Shawn. And I was honestly wishing you felt the same way.”

Shawn doesn’t say anything in response.

Feeling vulnerable and stupid after admitting that, you let your arms drop from Shawn’s shoulders.

“Y/N,” Shawn says as you begin to walk away from him.

He grabs you by the elbow and pulls you back into his personal space.

“You have no idea how damn long I’ve been waiting for those words to leave your mouth.”

He places his mouth against yours gently, and just like that, he was yours.

-

I LOVED WRITING THIS HAHAHAHAHAH

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