Author’s Note: I do not and will not regret this. Thank you (?) to @brendadaaedestler for the inspiration.
The Snuggie Oneshot
Her shriek at once echoed off his chamber walls.
Erik’s grim face twisted in an expression his decaying features alone could produce; he had expected this tragic outcome and yet seemed to revel in its arrival. His smile was jagged and his eyes fiercely trained on her, a warning of his slow approach.
“My dear.”
Christine gasped and backed from the horrible sight, nearly tripping over herself in the skirts of her robe and costume from Hannibal. “No… no! It’s too horrible!”
“Feast your eyes! Glut your soul!” He cackled monstrously. “Yes, you wanted to see, my dear, you wished to know what lay hidden beyond the veil!” He snapped with reproach, finally darting forward to ensnare her wrist in his dead hand and drag her closer to the sight.
“Erik, no!”
“You wanted to know?! Look!”
Her wide, terrified eyes beheld the sight. A yawning black chasm, sinister wires affixed to a metal rod, hanging there like so many nooses. And on each…
A fleecy, super soft garment to keep you warm and your hands free. The machine-washable fabric seemed to taunt her in the candlelight, so unnervingly versatile enough to be worn anywhere, so eerily lightweight. The perfect, horrifying companion for lazy days.
“You see, I no longer live by the rules of man,” he explained from behind the mask, letting her go as he straightened and gave a simple gesture towards the open closet. “Man, who has shown me nothing but hate!… Snuggies, on the other hand—“
“Erik!” She cried. “How can you possibly commit such a fashion crime? Why not a sensible cloak, or a long jacket?”
“Jackets show no compassion to me!” He cried like a wounded animal. “Besides, finding a tailor for the sleeves and length is an absolute nightmare. Now, with Snuggie’s one-size-fits-most accessibility…”
Poor Christine moaned with dread, and once more began to distance herself. But a long arm clad in super-soft black material snaked round her waist and held her captive once more.
“There is beauty one can find, Christine, in this life, if only one chooses… you shrink from me! Ah, Christine, you do not yet know the joys of all-day comfort whether you’re watching TV, working from home, braving the cold at outdoor sporting events…”
She was helpless as he led her to an adjoining closet, but she could not look away, no matter how hard she tried; at last, when this fresh nightmare was revealed, it was all she could do to give a squeak of pure terror. Before her stood a mannequin, a bride, unmistakably; the figure bent forward, as if to embrace, wearing a veil…
And a bright, white Snuggie.
She fainted in his arms, and the Angel of Music held her to his breast, looking over her limp figure almost mournfully.
Based on a Danny Phantom horror au I made a shot list for for fun (nerd film student over here) a few months ago. Should I turn the rest of the shots into full compositions?