#[for kels and anyone else who's in the kissing mood]

[deanstead]

Treat Her Right

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Halstead!Reader, Jay Halstead x Hasltead!Reader x Will Halstead

Request by anon: Could I get maybe a Severide x Halstead!sister story. They just recently got together and haven’t told anyone yet. But then she gets sick or in an accident and her brothers find out while she’s in the hospital. Little bit of gruff protective brothers before they give their blessing.

Word Count: 1,359

Warnings: mentions of injury/blood, car accident, angst, fluff

A/N: Filing this under Kelly Severide but Halstead!Sister moments here too! I hope you like this one too! Thanks for reading!

---

You smiled across at Kelly who was sitting a few tables away from you and your brothers at Molly’s.

Kelly winked and you looked back down at your drink, smiling.

“Y/N? Hello? Are you here?” Jay’s voice made you look up again.

“What?” You asked, trying to focus on Jay, your eyes unconsciously flicking to your boyfriend again.

It had been barely a month and you weren’t quite ready to tell your brothers yet. Will and Jay might not seem like it to others but they were protective, and sometimes a bit too protective.

Kelly had been nothing but supportive, saying that he’d follow your lead and that the both of you could keep it on the down low for as long as you wanted or needed. “Whatever makes you happy.” Kelly had said with a smile and you could feel the warm fuzz in your chest just at the memory of that conversation.

Kelly was the only other person that made you feel this loved, safe and happy, other than your brothers. And that was saying a lot.

Jay narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you hiding something from us?”

You paused. “What? Why would I be hiding something from you?”

Jay and Will exchanged a look before Will steered the conversation back to what they had been talking about before and you made a more concerted effort to be involved.

---

Kelly whistled as he walked into the firehouse and Matt looked at him, narrowing his eyes.

“You’ve been in a good mood recently.” Matt commented, closing his locker.

Kelly shrugged. “Things have just been good.”

“With Y/N?” Matt asked, raising his eyebrows. Kelly’s head shot up as Matt smirked.

“Safe with me.” Matt grinned, just as the familiar bells rang out through the fire house.

Squad 3. Truck 81. Ambulance 61. Car Accident.

Kelly glanced at Matt, a small smile playing on his lips. “Down low, you hear me?”

Matt gave Kelly a salute as they got into their respective trucks, pulling out of the station and hurtling towards the address of the accident.

Kelly frowned as they approached the scene of the accident and felt his heart drop to his feet as he recognised the familiar battered car that had tipped onto its side. Your car.

“Y/N…” Kelly muttered, jumping out of the truck the moment it came to a stop and racing towards you.

“Y/N!”

You groaned, forcing your eyes open despite the blood that was running down your face from the large gash across your forehead.

“Shh shh, baby, look at me.” Kelly called out to you and your eyes flicked to him. “I’m right here. Breathe. I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”

“I need some cribbing and struts over here to stabilise this thing!” Kelly yelled. “Don’t let it tip over!”

“Hey, stay with me okay?” Kelly was talking to you this time. You smiled back up at him and tried to nod but your head gave a painful throb. “Y/N honey, don’t move, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” You groaned as you heard the loud sounds from their equipment, obviously trying to cut through the metal to get through to you.

“Eyes on me, eyes on me.” Kelly repeated, as you heard the grunts of the rest of the firefighters as they pulled open the roof of the car.

“Hey, I need a C-Collar and a backboard!” Joe yelled.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Kelly soothed as he gently fit the c-collar around your neck, trying not to jostle you and you felt yourself being slid onto the backboard and lifted.

“Kel…” You tried to reach out for him.

“I got this, Lieutenant.” Joe reassured, nodding to Kelly.

Kelly glanced at Matt, who gave him a thumbs up. “Go on, I got the scene.”

Kelly clambered into the ambulance with you, holding your hand all the way as the ambulance sped towards Med.

---

Kelly stood over you, holding your hand.

“Kelly, I’m fine.” You reassured, smiling as the door slid open and your brothers came bursting into the room.

“Y/N!”

Jay raised his eyebrows as he saw Kelly there, Will’s eyes darting towards your entwined hands. Before they could say anything else, Connor came into the room.

“Connor, how is she?” Will asked, his attention immediately focused on his friend.

Connor smiled. “Don’t worry, she’s fine. The scans show no internal bleeding, her cognitive function and movement are good. She has a slight concussion so we’ll just give her some Tylenol in case she has any headaches.”

“So she can be discharged?” Jay asked, his eyes still darting towards Kelly.

Connor nodded, “I’ll get a nurse to do up the paperwork.”

Connor quietly left the room. Kelly quietly smiled at you, stepping backwards as your brothers charged forward.

“You feeling okay?” Jay asked, stroking the top of your head gently, his worried eyes scanning you.

“I’m fine.” You repeated what you had just told Kelly, smiling up at them. Will didn’t say anything but turned, only to realise that Kelly had left the room, choosing to wait outside.

“Something you want to tell us?” Will asked.

You smiled sheepishly. “I was going to tell you at dinner tonight. We just wanted to stabilise things before…”

You could see a little tick in Jay’s eyebrow. “Jay. Don’t go all crazy.”

“What?” Jay shot back.

You chuckled a little, wincing as your bruised body gave a small throb of protest. “You’ve said it yourself, Kelly’s a good person.”

“A good friend.” Jay retorted through gritted teeth.

You smiled just as a nurse walked in. “We’re getting the discharge papers ready, why don’t you wait outside and we’ll get her changed.”

Jay seemed to hesitate but Will nodded at him and motioned him outside.

---

Kelly had quietly excused himself.

This was so not the way he wished for Jay and Will to find out that he was dating their sister. And he was sure this wasn’t the way you had envisioned it either. But the accident had thrown everything off balance.

Kelly sighed as he leaned against the counter. He could still feel the adrenaline pumping in his veins from when he had recognised your tipped-over car and that was even before he had seen you in there, covered in blood.

Kelly looked up as the door to your room opened again and your brothers came out.

“They’re getting her changed.” Will said, as Jay continued to stare at Kelly.

Kelly paused, hesitating, not sure if he should wait for them to broach the subject or just bulldoze his way through it.

Jay frowned a little and Kelly cleared his throat.

“Look, Jay, Will…” Kelly paused. “We weren’t trying to keep it a secret. Y/N just wanted things to stabilise before… before anyone else knew.”

“Stabilise?” Will asked, his eyebrows furrowing as well.

“We just needed to see how things were going for us, for both of us.” Kelly answered.

“And?” Jay asked.

“And I love your sister. More than anything in the world. She’s what I’ve been missing my whole life.”

Jay stared at Kelly for a while more. “You treat her right, you hear me?”

Kelly smiled, “I’ll make sure I’m the man that she deserves.”

Will narrowed his eyes, “You better.” But Will stuck out his hand, letting out a small smile. “You take care of her.”

Kelly nodded, shaking Will’s hand as Jay stuck his hand out too.

“Thanks for looking out for her.” Jay said, gruffly.

The door opened then and you glanced from your brothers to your boyfriend.

“Everything alright here?” You asked.

You knew your brothers could be a little overprotective sometimes, you just hoped that it would be better since they knew Kelly.

“Great.” Jay said, flicking you lightly on the arm.

“Hey!” You protested.

“That was for not telling us.” Jay said.

You laughed but looked at Kelly. “Everything’s okay?”

Kelly smiled, taking your hand gently in his. “Yeah, everything’s great, we all want the same thing.” You looked quizzically at him before looking at your brothers.

“We just want you to be happy, safe and healthy. Everything will be just fine.” Kelly smiled, kissing you on your temple.

[thesmokingguns]

Bad Day, Worse Night

Word Count: 2051

Summary: You’re having a bad day and just want to come home and stay in bed all night but your boyfriend is on a mission to cheer you up and turn your bad day into a good night. But he doesn’t have the best of luck. 

A/N: I wasn’t going to post today after dropping a bunch of stuff yesterday but kind of like writing Kelly Nickels so I had to write this piece today. I know you’re all probably getting tired of this but I want to thank everyone for engaging in the posts. Let me know if there are any characters you prefer me writing for or if you want something more specific please feel free to request HERE. Thanks everyone!

Tag List: @thenobodies-inc​ , @littlemisscare-all​ , @that-80s-chick​ @ayablackwood

It’s not letting me tag the following people. Please check your settings on Tumblr, thank you!

@agroupiewhore , @ayablackwood

Part One: Bad Day

The door burst open with a crash so loud Kelly looked up from the couch where he was picking at his bass. When the door slammed shut with a louder slam, his eyebrow shot up. You stormed past him into the bedroom slamming another door making the beer he had on the table shake from the force. If he didn’t reach out it would have spilled all over the coffee table.

“Love, by slamming the doors are you trying to tell me something?” He called from the couch. Instead of a response he heard muffled screaming coming from the room. “Take that as a yes.” He muttered to himself as he moved to the bedroom, opening the door that was just slammed.

“Go away.” You mumbled into the pillow. Kelly sat down beside you on the bed, pushing your hair behind your ear. You were so mad about the day that you had at work and just needed to calm down.

It had been one of those days where if it could go wrong it had. Everyone had been screaming at you all day, from customers to the manager it seemed everyone had a bone to pick with you. It felt like you had gone through a boxing match with your emotions and you were holding on by a tiny string. A string that was frazzled, tired, and ready to break at the slightest provocation.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, rubbing your back. You shifted, laying your head on his lap, his fingers working through your hair. His touch calming you down and make you take a mental step back from the ledge you were about to fall off of.

“I hate the world.” You muttered curling into him and sighing out a deep breath. You heard your boyfriend scoff at this.

“How can you hate the world when I am your world?” Kelly countered. The smile tugging at your lips let him know that he was on the right track to putting you in a good mood. “We can’t go about wallowing in misery. The first option is we go take a bath, drink whiskey, invite some people over and have a party or you can get dolled up and I’ll take you out so that you don’t retreat into yourself like a hermit.” You thought for a second about his offer. Not really wanting to be around anyone.

“I pick C. I stay here in my moody bubble and wallow in my self pity feeling sorry for myself.” You told him, kicking off your heels and reaching for the blanket so you could stay in bed all day. He stood up, letting your head fall to the place he was just sitting and a whiny sound came out of your mouth. “Kelly, come back and rub my hair. That was so nice.” You propped your head up on your hands, looking as he opened the closet door, flipping through some hangers.

“Here. Get dressed.” He threw you a dress that you recognized, it was one of his favorites, smirking as you hit your head against the mattress. “Hey, Y/N stop being dramatic.” You threw a pillow at him as he left wishing it was a lamp and could do more damage. You’d show him dramatic if he wanted to be like that.

Kelly had picked out a short silky dress for you that was skin tight and showed off all the parts of you that he liked to touch. Instead of giving him the satisfaction of being a little sleaze doll for him you pulled on a pair of combat boots and grabbed your leather jacket. You were going to be as comfortable as possible.

“I’m going to get so drunk you’re going to have to carry me home or bail me out of jail. It will be a fun game of which one happens first” You warned, watching the way that he smirked at you. His arm wrapped around your waist pulling you to him and planting a kiss on your lips. The feeling of his lips melting some of your anger.

“Will you get drunk enough to let me take you out to the alley?” He flirted his hand sliding down your curves to your bare thighs and back up trying to creep back up. You smacked his hand away shaking your head annoyed. He always had a one track mind.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Kels.” You shook your head taking a step away from him and trying on one of his hats that were hanging by the front door. Thinking of how he had mentioned the alley you thought of how to change his mind to staying in and letting you wallow, “You know, whenever you’re in a bad mood-“

“I’m a ray of fucking sunshine. I’m never in a bad mood.” He interrupted earning him a glare from you as he took the hat off your head and put it on his own head.

“Ray of fucking sunshine, my ass.” You snorted. But your mind was on how you wanted to stay home. Maybe order a pizza and eat it in the bathtub or eat it well crying on the couch watching a movie. Maybe you could convince him to stay home with you if you played your cards right and used his weakness against him..

Taking a step forward you ran a finger down his chest, making sure you kept eye contact and held his attention. You let your tongue slip out wetting your bottom lip, watching his eyes follow the simple motion. You let your arms slip around his neck pushing your body into his, loving how he couldn’t stop his hands from skimming your body.

“When you’re in a bad mood I always cheer you up by going down on my knees. Maybe you can return the favor?” You asked, batting your eyelashes. He definitely was reconsidering going out now. You could see the hesitation to move as he tried to process what you were saying to him.

“Giving me a blowjob will cheer you up?” He asked, tilting his head slightly. “Because if that’s the case we have plenty of time to-“ you threw up your hands shaking your head as you took a step away from him.

“Let’s just go.” You said moving to open the door. Kelly slid his arm around you, practically dragging you outside and into the fading sunshine. Part of you wondered if you should ask where you were going, the other part was just hoping there would be drinks. The sooner you left the sooner you could go home.

Part Two: Bad Night

It had been about two hours since you had been dragged out of your apartment after having a miserable day at work. Your head was throbbing and you were thinking about how you could be wrapped in blankets on the couch watching the VHS of Beetlejuice you had bought last week. Maybe be halfway through a pizza and on your second bottle of wine.

Instead you were at The Roxy, packed in the upstairs bar where people kept bumping into you and where you had lost Kelly at least a half hour before when he had gone to the bathroom. You had managed to get drunk but instead of bringing out the laughter and dancing that your boyfriend had been hoping it would bring out you were just getting more upset.

You slammed back another shot of whiskey, tapping two fingers on the bar to signal you needed another. If Kelly didn’t appear after the next shot you were going to go home. You felt like you were on the brink of tears. They were burning, ready to fall if you could just get back home. The overwhelming feeling of a bad day setting you on the path for the worst mood to break open.

“Hey beautiful, are you here alone?”

“Fuck off.” You didn’t even bother to look at the man who had slid into the free spot next to you. You were not in the mood to have strangers talk to you or flirt with you.

“Aw, why are you being rude to me? Bad night?” You slammed back the last shot. Time to go. Standing up, ignoring the man you felt the hand on your arm. You turned expecting to see Kelly but some stranger was holding onto you. It had been a bad day and now a bad night. You slammed your head forward headbutting the guy who had tried to talk to you at the bar. He broke contact with you, you could feel his blood drip onto you as you turned to walk out of the club, your body shaking in annoyance.

Bad day turns into a bad night, who saw that one coming? You lit a cigarette, sucking on the filter and sighing out a cloud of smoke. You just wanted to get home and into your bed, away from everyone. You were mad at Kelly for dragging you out and vanishing. You were mad about work. You were mad about that fucking weird guy grabbing you at the bar. You were mad that you were… crying.

The stream of tears coming out, burning as your mascara poured down your face.  Wiping furiously with the leather sleeve of your jacket, you depended on muscle memory to get you home. It was aggravating to be so upset and crying because of it. Pushing open the door to a dark apartment you headed straight into the bathroom, filling the claw foot tub with hot water. You needed to wash off this day and have a little bit of a fresh start.

Kelly threw the front door open, eyes wild as he looked around the apartment. A glow from the bathroom had him nearly sprinting across the apartment opening the door and freezing when he saw you. Your hair was pulled up, face a mess of mascara lines from tears and someone else’s blood, a bruise from where your head met a face, naked with an arm crossed over your breasts, the other arm resting in it and holding a cigarette.

“What the fuck?” Kelly rushed towards the tub. His hands checking you for any other injury, “Where are you bleeding from? Are you okay?” He was touching you everywhere but you were so numb, everything overwhelming you that it was like you were outside your body watching it happen. “Y/N? Y/N, please, say something.” Your eyes snapped up watching him, the concern for you swimming in his eyes.

“Who goes to the bathroom for a half hour?” The guilty look he gave you had you shaking your head, taking a drag of your cigarette, “Just leave me alone. It’s been a bad 24 hours.” You drew your legs up, resting your chin on your knees.

But leaving you alone was the last thing he planned on doing. Kelly was stripping, easing himself behind you in the tub. His arms wrapping around you and dragging you back against him. He grabbed a washcloth filling it in the water before starting to wipe the makeup and blood from your face. With each gentle movement of the washcloth you could feel your bad day starting to fade. The way Kelly rubbed your shoulders, kissing them after they were clean started to crack your anger.

“How are you, Love? Any better?” His hands tucking a strand of hair away from your face. His fingers feeling like they were soft kisses on your skin.

“I’m still a little grumpy.” You admitted.

“Well you’re always a little bit grumpy so that seems fine. As long as you’re back to your normal amount.” Sinking back against him, you felt thankful for him being here with you. This is exactly what you had needed.

“Hey Kelly, I love you.”

“I love you more. Sorry for doing coke in the bathroom.” You rolled your eyes at his confession snuggling into his arms. The way he was stroking you arms and laying kisses on the back of your neck made you aware it might have been a bad day but Kelly wasn’t going to let you go to bed in a bad mood.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

The Bet - (Kelley O'Hara x reader) part 3

"Please tell me you didn't"

I scrunch my face and look at the forward, "Hey Chris. I'm good thanks for asking, how are you?" I guess she isn't in the laughing mood as she shakes her head at me, "This is serious Belle. Please tell me you didn't". "I didn't what?" I ask. The forward sighs exasperatedly, "Please tell me you didn't sleep with Kelley". My head snaps to her as I slam my locker shut, "What!"

She tugs on the hoodie I'm wearing, "That's Kelley's hoodie. She always wears that hoodie". I tilt my head at her before looking down at the hoodie and my eyes widen as I see she's in fact right, "Shit. I forgot to give it back to her and I was in a rush this morning that I just grabbed the nearest one". She narrows her eyes at me, "So you did sleep with her?"

"No! I did not sleep with Kelley" I whisper shout at her before calming down a bit, "Look she came over to my house and we ended up hanging out and going for ice-cream. On the way back it was raining and she gave me her hoodie. I must have forgotten to give it back to her. And like I said today I was in a rush and grabbed the closest thing to me on the way out the door".

"How does she know where you live?" Christen asks. I snort, "Guess who's my new neighbor". Her eyes widen, "No way!" I nod with a chuckle, "Way". Christen let's out a breath as she runs her and through her hair, "Look I'm sorry. But I'm really only trying to look out for you. Kelley's one of my best friends but she doesn't have the best track record when it comes to dating and I just don't want to see you get hurt".

I smile at the green eyed girl and hug her, "Thanks Chris. I'm so thankful to have you as my friend". She hugs back, "I'm glad your my friend too B". When I pull back I look at her with a smirk, "Now tell me about your date with Tobin this weekend".

Kelley's Pov

"Are you sure about this Kels?" Tobin asks as I put my books into my bag, "I mean it Kel. Your playing a dangerous game". "You talking about the bet?" I ask. She runs her hand through her hair and let's out a heavy sigh, "This is serious Kelley! This isn't just some girl anymore, this is our teammate". Tobin nods her head down the corridor where I turn and see Christen and Belle both smiling and laughing about something, "Christen is getting really close with her. She will kill you if you play her like every other girl you've ever had".

I keep my eyes on Belle watching her smile and giggle as Christen tells her something, her hands waving all over the place. Her eyes had this certain sparkle in her eyes as she listened to her which made her eyes shine. "It's just a bet Tobin" I say. I shut my locker closed, "Besides" I start, "she'll never know". I look back at her and smile as I see my hoodie she's wearing, "I'll make sure of it".

I walk towards the two but just as I reach her it seems Christen leaves to head to class, the idea of being late is unbearable for the girl. "Hey Beauty" I grin as she chuckles and nods back at me, "Hey Beast". I smirk and look her up and down, "Nice jumper...I could have sworn I've seen it somewhere before though". She blushes slightly and crosses her arms in front of her, "I didn't even realise I brought. I was in a rush this morning and grabbed the closest thing. Do you want it back?"

But I shake my head, "Nah it's fine. It looks better on you anyways..." She licks her lips with a hint of a smile but quickly shakes her head, "What's up so?" I raise an eyebrow at her, "Well I was wondering when I could bring you on our date?" But she furrows her eyesbrows at me, "Did we not go on our date?"

"Funnily enough when I got home I found money in my back pocket that magically got there" I say making her grin with a small smirk. "So because I didn't pay that means it wasn't a real date so that means I still have to take you out for our deal" I smile cheerfully.

She playfully groans throwing her head back, "So if I ask for the money back does that mean we don't have to go on a date?" I shake my head, "Nope! I already spent it so no take backs! We are going on a date". She sighs with a roll of her eyes, "I guess there's worst things...." "Admit it, you love me really" I tease but she rolls her eyes and nudges my shoulder, "Cmon we have class".

"Let's go Beauty"

But as we sit in class my head was anywhere but. All I could think about was the conversation I had with Tobin and I look at the girl beside me furiously writing notes next to me. I knew she hated the reputation attached to me. She never hid that from me she was very vocal about it. So I knew how much it would hurt her if she knew about the bet. Especially after her opening up to me about her family life at home. Something like that you don't just tell to anyone.

The thought of hurting her made me feel a pang in my heart. But I had to shake it off. Everything would be fine. It's no big deal. As long as she never finds out nothing will happen. But who was I trying to convince?

Tobin or myself?

.............

"I don't understand you" she tells me as we sit in her room doing homework and just hanging out really. It's become a daily occurance really. We share a few classes so I usually come over to her house so she can watch Peter while we do homework. Then on the weekends I was just hang out here or we would walk around or do something.

Today though we had the house to ourselves as Peter was at a friend's house and her mom was at work like usual. "What do you mean?"

She sighs and looks at me hard as if she's studying me, "You act different when it's just the two of us like this. Yet when we're at school your all cocky and arrogant and live up to your reputation. But when it's just us your revert back to your dorky goofy self which I can actually tolerate". I scoff, "I would hope you would more than tolerate me if we hang out this much".

She gives me a look, "I'm serious Kelley. Why?" I scrunch my face at her, "Why what?" She groans frustrated throwing her hands up, "Why me? Why do you act different with me? You flirt but you make sure not to cross the line. We constantly hang out but your careful to make sure to keep in line and not do anything I'm not comfortable with. And I'm not the only one who hasn't noticed that you haven't slept with anyone in months. So I'll ask again, why me?"

I bite the inside of my cheek as she stares back at me expectantly. I open my mouth trying to say anything but no words come up. I sigh as I look back at her. Not knowing what to do and in a moment of complete impulse.

I kiss her

But as I realise what I'm doing I immediately pull back and start spluttering out an apology, "Shit! Belle I'm sorry! I shouldn't have-" But I'm cut off my her lips meeting mine. I slowly kiss back. Her hands cup my face as mine trail down her back before finding purchase on her waist pulling her closer to me.

We continue to kiss until I pull back both of us breathing heavy. "Because your different" I answer as she stares back at me, "I don't have to live up to this reputation when I'm with you. When I'm with you I just get to be me and I like you for that. You got to know me without my reputation. Why would I want anyone else when your here?".

"No games?" She asks and I could hear how vulnerable she sounded as I nod, "No games". She nods and cuddles into my side hugging me, "Just....please don't leave". I hug her back and kiss her head, "I won't. I promise". We stay like that just laying with each other.

And it was then I completely forgot about the bet

...........

"So I guess you won the bet" Ash says as we walk to training with Tobin and Allie. I shake my head, "No I didn't". Allie looks at me, "So your saying..." But I nod, "We haven't slept together". Tobin narrows her eyes at me, "What are you playing at O'Hara?"

"I'm not playing at anything! I genuinely like her. I know this started out as a bet" I say but I smile as I start thinking about my girlfriend, "But at some point it stopped being about the bet. I really like her guys". Ash coos, "Awe our little squirrelly has finally grown up!" I roll my eyes at her, "Shove off". "Does she know about the bet?" Allie asks. I bite my lip and shake my head, "No. She doesn't".

"You need to tell her Kel" Tobin says. I frown, "I can't". "Why not?" She asks. I think back to what she told me about her family. If she knew about the bet she would be destroyed and she would never trust me again. I shake my head, "I just can't Tobs". Tobin sighs as we come up to the field, "Look Kels you need to tell her soon before she finds out from someone else. Imagine how much worst she'll feel if she finds out from someone that isn't you. She doesn't deserve that Kelley".

I nod, "She doesn't but if I tell her she'll be hurt anyways and she'll never want to be with me then". "Well shouldn't that be her choice?" Tobin challenges but before I could answer the team spots us. I go over to Belle and wrap my arms around her waist, "Hey Beauty". She giggles and leans back into me, "Hey Beast". "Do you want me to walk home with you and pick up Peter? We can pick up food on the way?" I ask as I rest my chin on her shoulder.

But she shakes her head, "No it's fine. One of Peter's friend's mom is dropping him here and then we'll walk home". "Cool. Still up for movie night?" I ask. "As long as your fine with Disney cause I promised Peter could choose then sure" she laughs. She turns her head to the side so I can peck her lips and I hum, "Sound great".

"How do you do that?" Mal asks. We both look at her confused before she points at us, "You have Kelley whipped. How did you do that?" The team and my girlfriend laugh as I glare at the younger forward, "Shut it before I go and tell a certain baseball player about your crush on him". Belle detaches herself from me and walks over to Mal hugging her, "Don't you dare come at my Mal Pal"

I stare at her shocked, "Your my girlfriend! Your supposed to be on my side!" She just gives me a cheeky grin, "But she's my Mal Pal". Mal grins as she hugs her back, "Yeah!" She sticks out her tongue at me as the rest if the team laugh. "But!" I try but she shakes her head and walks back over to me, "Nope!" "Belle!" I whine but she just mocks me back, "Kelley!" We hold each others stare for a minute before I sigh and cross my arms, "Fine!" She smiles and pecks my lips again quickly.

"Oh my god the power" Sonnet teases but is bonked on the head with a ball that Belle throws, "Hey!" But my girlfriend just shrugs, "Only I can tease Kelley". As Belle starts to mess around with I smile as I watch them.

"She's good for you"

I turn and see Christen coming up beside me and I nod, "Yeah". "I still haven't decided if your good for her" she says. "Chris" I sigh but she shakes her head, "I'm allowed be cautious Kel she's my best friend. I just don't want her to end up like all your other girls. I don't want her left heartbroken after you". "I really like her Chris" I whisper as I watch her and Mal team up against Sonnett and Lindsey. Christen sighs, "Just don't hurt her Kelley she's too pure for that". I smile as Mal and Belle cheer as they're able to knock the two blonde over but quickly stop and run as they start to chase after them, "I'll try". But Christen shakes her head, "You better do more than try O'Hara". But as I open my mouth to protest I'm cut off by a loud shout.

"Kelley!"

I turn to see the small seven year old running towards me, "Petey!" Once he's close enough he jumps up and I catch him before playfully spinning him around making him giggle. I can see Belle over talking a woman probably one of Peter's friend's parents who agreed to bring him here. "You training?" Peter asks me as I hitch him up on my hip. I smile and nod as I start tickling him, "Yup! Wanna play with me for a bit?" He nods rapidly as I put him back on his feet as I grab a ball and roll it towards him. We pass the ball back and forth for a little while before Belle comes over and joins us, "You being good Pete?" He nods but I grin, "No he isn't! He keeps megging me with the ball!"

Peter grins widely as Belle crouches down beside him and and high fives him, "Good boy". I hold my hand over my heart in mock hurt making them giggle even harder. As Belle picks him us the rest of the team starts to surround us. "Who's this little guy?" Christen smiles as she looks at Peter in Belle's arms. Belle smiles at the team, "Girls this is my little brother Peter. Pete these are my friends that I told you about. The ones I play soccer with". Peter flashes them a toothy smile paired with a small cute wave which makes the youngsters awes.

"He's adorable" Mal squeals making Peter's smile widen even more. "How old is he?" Rose asks and I just look at Peter who counts it out on his finger, "7!" "Wow that's big!" Ali smile as Peter nods. "Why didn't you tell us you had a brother?" Tobin asks. But Belle just shrugs, "Guess it just never came up". "How come he already knows Kelley?" Sonnett asks. But before either of us could answer Peter's face lights up, "Kelley comes over a lot. She does homework with Bells and she plays with me and gets me ice cream. She's Bells best friend!"

But as soon as he says that Christen shakes her head, "Oh hell no". She plucks the seven year old out of Belle's arms and carries him off toward the stands. "Uh Chris? What you doing?" Belle shouts after her. "There's no way in hell your brother is going to like Kelley more than me!" I scoff as the rest of them giggle before following Chris towards the stands leaving me and Belle alone.

"Did they just kidnap my little brother?" Belle asks while I nod, "Yup!" "So what were you and Chris talking about before I came over?" She asks as she tangles her fingers with mine as she interlocks both our hands together. I smile and spread our hands out wide so she comes closer to me, "Just how I'm not good enough for you". She sighs and frowns a bit, "I'm sorry Kels. I'll tell her to lay off". But I shake my head with a tiny smile, "No she's right I'm not good enough for you". Her frown deepens as she watches me but I give her a small smile back, "Your amazing and I know my previous relationships have been less than stellar. But being with you makes me want to be better. So yeah I know I'm not good enough for you".

"But one day I hope I will be"

............

I was grabbing some books from my locker when I felt arms wrap around my waist. "Well hello" I chuckle. But I'm surprised when I'm grabbed my the shoulder whipped around and pulled into a kiss. But I don't kiss back knowing that Belle isn't usually like this and it doesn't smell like her. And I'm right as I push her off of me instead of seeing my girlfriend I see Reagan.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask as I wipe my lips on my sleeve. But Reagan just smirks at me. "What's going on here?" Belle asks as she comes up behind me. I put my arm around her, "She just came out of nowhere and kissed me!" But she doesn't back down, "Cmon baby you can drop the act now". I step back away from her as Belle scrunches her face at her in disgust, "What are you even talking about?"

At this point a crowd begins to gather obviously trying to see what's happening. But I can feel my stomach drop as Reagan's smirk only grows as she crosses her arms. "Didn't your girlfriend tell you?" Belle glances at me, "Tell me what?" "That your nothing more than a bet. Do you seriously think that she actually cared about you? The only reason she's dating you is to win a bet" Reagan announces to everyone listening.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any worst, Reagan twists the knife in the worst possible way.

"Why would the biggest player in school want you. Hell not even your dad wants you"

It's a deafening silence as I don't even know what to do. I don't even know how she knew about that. But I can see Belle tense up as she clenches her fists. But just as I think she's about to launch herself at Reagan she instead pushes herself through the crowd. "Belle wait!" I follow her pushing past people. She has a head start on me but I follow her into the locker room. When I enter I see her throw a soccer ball against the lockers her back to me, "Belle?"

"Tell me she's lying" she says. She turns around and I frown as I see tears well up in her eyes. "Tell me it's not true and I'll believe you. Please tell me it's not true" she pleads. For a split second I think about lying to her but I keep my mouth shut knowing that will only make this so much worst and I guess she can tell as she glares at me, "Goddamnit Kelley answer me!" I wanted nothing more to tell her it was all a lie, that she was just sprouting nonsense and we should just forget about it. But I can't lie to her. "It's not what you think" I say barely above a whisper.

She lets out a bitter chuckle as she wipes her hands over her face, "Of course. I should have known". "Please just let me explain" I beg stepping towards her but she whips around on me, "No! You don't get to try and fix this. I don't think there's anything you could say that can fix this".

She glares at me, "Did the team know? Did Chris know?" I'm frazzled as I try to answer, "No-I mean yes but-" She doesn't let me finish as she scoffs, "Oh fucking course. Of course they fucking knew". She runs her hands frustratedly through her hair, "All of you were probably having a big old laugh behind my back right? What did you tell Christen to warn me to make it more of a challenge? Thought it would make the game more interesting? See if I was dumb enough to still go for you even after she warned me about you? How could I be so stupid?"

I shake my head, "No Beauty please it wasn't like that!" "Don't call me that!" She shouts at me. "You don't get to call me that" her voice cracks. "Belle please" I say tears starting to well up in my own eyes. She shakes her head, "I can't believe I was so stupid to actually think you could change. That I could change you. I should have known I wouldn't be enough to change you. I never am". She swipes at her face not allowing the tears to fall.

I wanted to scream at her. Yell, shout anything to tell her she was enough. That she was so much more than enough. But I don't know why but it was like I couldn't move. But honestly I don't think it would have mattered at this point. I had broken her trust.

And there was nothing I could do to make her believe a word I'd say

I just stood there not wanting to say anything that could make everything impossibly worst. She just sniffs wiping her nose on her sleeve before crossing her arms around her almost as of she's hugging herself, protecting herself. I have never seen her in a more vulnerable state. I could feel my heart crack as she looked me in the eye showing me her blood shot eyes all red and puffy, "I never want anything to do with you ever again Kelley O'Hara".

Without another word she swiftly leaves the locker room. Carefully not to even brush past me, not wanting to even touch me. I wanted desperately to run after her and tell her everything. I just wanted to run after her and hold her. Reassure her that this was all a misunderstanding and she had everything twisted. I just wanted to tell her she was so much more than enough. I wanted to tell her that I love her. But I knew I couldn't. She was heartbroken.

And it was all because of me

............

A week

It's had been a week since Reagan told the entire school about the bet. It had been a week since Belle found out. It had been a week since she pretty much broke up with me. It had been a week since I had experienced my first heartbreak. It had been a week since I had last seen Belle. It had been a week since she blocked my number after numerous attempts to call and text her.

It had been a week since she left my hoodie on my front door step

She left school immediately after what happened and hadn't returned to school since. She didn't come to class or training. Everyone on the team tried to reach her especially Christen and the youngsters but no luck. I didn't even see her at her house. I tried going to her house. But the blinds were drawn with no sign of life and when I tried to knock I would get no answer.

But whether she was there or not I don't know but either way no one was answering the door.

When Chris heard what happened she was furious. She practically launched herself at me ready to attack me for hurting her best friend and I pretty much let her but the rest of the team pulled her back off me before she could do any real damage not accounting the bruise I had my back from when she shoved me into the lockers.

Everyone could tell things were different. The team was falling apart. The dressing room was buzzing with talk or life as it usually was. The youngsters weren't joking or laughing as they use to. The team didn't play the same. We could barely string a series of passes together. There was a big massive hole missing in the midfield that was missing someone to call for passes and to slot if through for the forwards. There was no one praising the youngsters for a good practice. There was no one lift team spirits.

But just when I thought things couldn't get worst, they did.

After another dreadful practice we all dragged ourselves into the locker room only to notice something had changed. The locker across from mine was cracked open. In-between Mal and Rose's locker everything was bare. I slowly open the door only to find everything had been emptied out. The locker that was full before training had been cleaned out and stripped bare. The locker that always had extra prewrap incase her teammates needed any. The locker that always kept a speaker in case we wanted to lift team spirits and let loose before a match or a particularly hard training session was now gone. Even the sticker on the front of her locker had been ripped off but not entirely only leaving behind her number.

Actually that wasn't true. As I reach inside left folded neatly in her locker was her jersey along with her key to the dressing room and locker. Which could only mean one thing.

Belle had come and cleaned out her locker while we were training and she had no intention of coming back.

I trace my hand over her number looking down at it sadly before I hear a locker slam. I barely get to turn around when Christen pushes me back against the locker. The whole room is shocked as they have never seen Christen like this as she holds me against the locker glaring at me furiously. "Chris!" Tobin breathes out as she moves up behind her but Christen ignored her. "This is all your fault O'Hara!" She growls at me, "you promised me you wouldn't hurt her and you did it in the worst possible way". She looks at me hard as if debating what to do next but thankfully she releases her grip on me. But she still glares at me, "Just when I don't think you could get any lower, if usual Kelley fashion you prove me wrong".

She doesn't even wait to get changed as instead she snatches her bag from her locker and leaves but not before hitting my shoulder on the way out. Everyone looked at me to see what I would do. All of them probably expecting me to do something. But I can't find it in me. As instead I as well grab my bag and walk out of the locker room in defeat to start the long walk home. As I'm walking home though I pass the park that I brought Belle and Peter to for the first time. The place we would come so often so Peter could play or even for us to mess around with a ball together. I change my course to park myself at the bench where we had our first real conversation and I just sit there wishing I could turn back time to that moment.

I don't know how long I'm sitting there before someone sits beside me. I turn hoping to see her but my shoulder slump slightly as I see it's only Becky. We just sit there for a while before I sigh, "Why don't you hate me?" She just looks at me with a small smile, "Now why would you think I hate you?" I shrug stretching out my legs in front of me, "Well I wouldn't be surprised. I single handedly destroyed the team. Christen hates me, the youngsters don't know how to act around me, Chris and Ali lost it when they found out Tobin and Ash knew about the bet. I didn't only ruin my own relationship, I dragged their relationships into it as well. The team has never been so divided. So I wouldn't be surprised if you did hate me".

Becky shakes her head at me, "I don't hate you Kel". I look at her as she looks at me sympathetically, "It may have started as a bet but I could see how much you cared about her. Everyone could and I think that's why everyone was so upset. Because they genuinely thought you were done with everything and everyone else. That you were happy with Belle. And then when everything went down they didn't know which side to take". She sighs as she leans back, "I don't know if you remember but before we met Belle. When we first heard about the new student coming I told you I didn't like your lifestyle per say and I told you one day it would come back and bite you in the ass and you would regret it later".

I scoff, "Are you really going to tell me "I told you so" right now?" She snorts but shakes her head with a smile, "Maybe later but right now no". She looks at me seriously, "Look you can't change the past. But that doesn't mean you can't do anything right now. If you really care about her, show her she was so much more than a bet. Show her that you love her". I bite my lip as I look down at me shoes kicking a lonely stone on the ground, "Do you really think I could fix everything?" She shrugs as she gets up from the bench, "You don't know until you try". But she gives me a smile.

"But the Kelley O'Hara, since when do you give up on something you believe in?"

............

I stare at the door in front of me. I bite my lip as I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet as I try to talk myself into knocking on the door. I knew it shouldn't be this hard. I been here so many times that I didn't usually have to wait for someone to answer the door usually just use to walking in. I had been acting like I haven't been here for everyday for the past week waiting outside her house hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl I've fallen for. Wait to pounce at the chance to talk to her. But I knew fear was hold me back this time. This time I knew I had to make it up to her and the overlying fear that she would completely reject me wanting nothing to do with me after everything that's happened which would be understandable.

Letting out a heavy sigh I quickly knock on the door before the fear overwhelmed me entirely. I prayed that this time it would be different. That someone would open the door. That I would at least have the chance to explain. "Beaut-" I start but I catch myself and correct myself, "Belle? Can you please open the door? Can I please just explain?" As usual there was no reply. "Please just....open the door. Please take one more chance on me" I beg through the door. I wait for a second hoping for any sign of life.

But still no one opens the door

I sigh and run my hand through my hair as I turn about to walk back to my house when I hear the small click of the door opening. I whip around but tilt my head when it's not the person I expected to see, "Petey?" He waves at me happily. But he quickly stops as he sneezes into his elbow and pulls a blanket tighter around him. I frown as I see him sniffle with the tip of his nose bright red.   I open my mouth to say something to him but I'm cut off by a shout, "Peter! What have I told you about opening the door to strangers?"

But she stops once she sees me. I lick my lips as I look at her for the first time in over a week. She isn't smiling like she use to. It's more like how she was when we first met. Not smiling but not frowning so I guess that's something. Peter now frowns, "But it's not a stranger. It's Kelley!" "Might as well be a stranger" she mutters harshly making me wince and Peter looks at her confused. But she quickly shrugs it off as she ignores me and kneels down in front of Peter as she fixes the blanket around him and puts her hand to his forehead, "I told you, you should be in bed". He sniffles again, "I know but I wanted cuddles and then I heard Kelley at the door".

She sighs and glance at me before picking the small boy up on her hip, "Let's get you back to bed little man". He looks at me before looking back at his sister, "Can Kelley read me a story?" She sighs as Peter lays the puppy dog eyes on thick but I quickly step in, "I-I don't mind". She barely looks at me out of the corner of her eye but sighs, "Fine". Peter cheers while I smile slightly as Belle quickly waves me into the house. Belle carries him up to his room as I follow behind them. She tucks him into the bed before she turns to me, "I'm going to go get his medicine". I barely have time to nod before she leaves. I sigh but shake it off before turning to Peter with a smile, "Okay what book are we reading?" He hands me a book from beside his bed and I start reading. As I'm reading I can see how he's not really listening, "Hey what's wrong?"

He plays with his fingers, "Is Bells okay?" I frown as he looks at me, "She's seems sad and she doesn't smile as much". He lets out a small whimper, "She was crying one day in her room. Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong?"

My heart broke as looked down at the boy how was worried about his sister. And what was worst was he somehow thought it was his fault for something I did. "No you didn't do anything Petey". His eyes drooped as he leans back into the bed, "Is she going to be okay?" I just hum and nod as I watch him start to nod off, "I hope so". Barely a minute or two later he was out like a light. I brush some hair out of his eyes before I bring the blanket up over him. Belle then walks in with the medicine but stopped when she saw Peter asleep. She leaves the medicine on the desk, "Come on let's just let him sleep".

I nod as we leave and head downstairs letting the kid sleep. She goes back down to the kitchen and I follow her not really knowing what to do. I just stand at the door awkwardly as she moves around the kitchen obviously trying to keep busy. She starts bring dirty dishes to the sink stacking them with small clinks filling the silence. I hated it to be honest. I had practiced endlessly what I was going to say to her but now my mind just went blank at the sight of her.

I mean what do you say to the girl who thinks completely destroyed your trust?

But it seems like while I was about to go into a mental downward she was the one to break the silence, "You need to stop talking to doors". Getting myself out of my thoughts I scrunch my face at her confused, "What?" She sighs and turns and leans against the counter with a hint of a smile, "People are going to start talking if they keep seeing you talking to a closed door". I let out a small breath as it feels like all the air was knocked out of my lungs. The entire time I thought she was listening she was, "You heard me?"

She scoffs, "Of course I heard you. You kept showing up outside my door and just started talking to a closed door. That's not something you can ignore". I knew I shouldn't but against my better judgement I can't stop myself before it comes out if my mouth, "Why didn't you open the door?" Any sense of a smile disappears as she narrows her eyes and crosses her arms at me, "Oh yeah cause I was definitely going to open the door to the girl who played with my heart. Why not give her another crack at fucking me over?"

"Belle" I sigh but she shakes her head, "It's hard enough trying to explain to Peter why your not around anymore? I just can't anymore Kelley". "Please just let me explain Belle" I beg with tears starting to well up in my eyes, "I know you think you know everything but you don't know the full picture. Just let me tell you everything and then if you still want me gone....I'll go".

She pursues her lips while I look at her pleadingly until she eventually relents, "Okay". I let out a huge sigh of relief and I try to step towards her but she immediately steps back making me falter again. But I push it aside and take a deep breath before I start explaining, "Look I won't deny it that it did start out as a bet". I can see her glare at me hard so I keep going, "But! That was before I got to know you. Before I even knew you were on the team or even before Peter. So yeah it started out as a bet but it became so much more. The more we hung out the happier you make me. I enjoyed being with you. The happiest part of my day would always be coming over and doing homework with you or even playing with Peter. I guess I ended up liking you more than I planned".

She scoffs but I can see the small hint of a smile making me smile before I sigh as I run my hand through my hair, "I don't know exactly when but I didn't care about the bet. All I cared was being around you. I knew you would never go for me so I thought I would be happy with just being your friend". I smile as I play with my fingers, "But then we got together and I couldn't have been happier. And for a brief while I forgot about the bet". I look straight into her eyes hoping to show her how genuine I am, "When everything settled I knew I had to tell you. I should have told you....but I got scared. I was scared that you would want nothing to do with me once you knew. I was scared to lose you..."

"Well how did that work out for you?" She bites back which makes me physically flinch. "I know I should have told you..." I start but Belle scoffs, "Yeah you should have". She lets out a frustrated sigh, "You know what's the wrong thing about all this?" I could see her crumble slightly as her shoulders slump the tiniest bit and slight tremble in her bottom lip.

"The worst part was I didn't even hear it from you"

I suck in a short breath and bite the inside of my cheek as she keeps going, "I knew I shouldn't have gone anywhere near you. Everyone knew who you were and I had been warned so many times. But I couldn't help it. That day when you brought Peter and me for ice cream and how you were more worried about us than yourself I knew there was a side of you that everyone else didn't see. I got to see the two sides of you. The you at school and the softer side of you with Peter and I. Now I don't know whether any of it was real or not..."

I immediately shake my head and step towards her taking her hands in mine, "Everything was a hundred percent real. I have never lied to you. There wasn't a minute that wasn't real between us. Every minute, every hour, every second it all was all a hundred percent true". I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles as I nudges my forehead against her own. She let out a breath which fanned against my face making me shiver slightly. I look into the bright blue eyes than I missed so much, "I lo-"

But she's quickly to cut me off shaking her head, "Don't. Please don't. I don't think I could take anymore, it's hurts too much". I slowly pick my head up spreading around her face. Peppering her face with feather light kisses on her cheeks, her jaw, her temples, her forehead before finishing on her nose which makes her smile lightly. "I love you Belle Rose. You are the only person who has ever made me feel this way. There is no one on this entire planet who could make me feel the way you do and that terrifies me. But I'm totally unapologetically in love with you".

Tears start to slowly slip down her cheeks as I gently wipe them away with the pad of my thumb. "I don't want to be hurt again" her voice cracks. "I promise I will do everything possible to make it up to you. Just please give me the chance to". She studies for me for a second before she barely inclines her head. I can't stop the smile on my face as I lean in closer to her, "Can I kiss you?" She lets out a soft laugh, "Wow eagar much Beasty".

All I can do is laugh before I lean up on my tip toes and kiss her with all I have before pulling away.

"Always for you Beauty"

[twrites1]

“Another Woman’s Treasure”

Sam threw the glass of whiskey back, hissing at the stinging sensation as he sat it back on the tray, asking for another refill. Tonight, he wasn’t in the mood for this engagement party. He looked over to his future wife, a spoiled brat indeed. She started off as a good friend of the family, someone who he didn’t see more than that but fell victim of their mothers interference and nagging. He wasn’t going to engage into the foolery, but he prematurely proposed to her under the influence of alcohol and pure horniness. He wasn’t going to lie, he tried to get out of it but only gave up the fight due to belief that it wouldn’t be that bad. She wasn’t a bad girl, but there just wasn’t no romantic feelings nor love there. It was more of a long distance friendship type of love but even that was a reach.

“Here you go, Mr. Evans.”

Sam came out of his thoughts when the woman appeared with him a new drink, downing that immediately and sat it on the tray before picking up the second glass as well. He looked at her and smiled, “Keep them coming, sweetheart.”

“Will do.”

He turned his attention back to the guest, who were mingling, when he caught his mother’s eyes. He forced a smile once she sent one to him, she was his mother, so she probably knew that it wasn’t a real one but then again, she had been busying herself with her future daughter in law and the wedding planning. This was going to be a long night. Feeling someone come beside him, he knew who it was without even looking, “I’m surprised you showed up, Sarah.”

“Almost didn’t.” The woman spoke as she moved her straight brunette hair back behind her right ear, “It’s not too late to call this sham off because you and I both know she’s not the one for you and you’re definitely not in love like you’re pretending to be.”

“How you know I‘m not?”

“Please Sam.” His sister said without another fit of explanation, picking up the champagne flute and thanking the man with a smile before she began to scan the room, “How they are isn’t even close to how we are. That bitch and her family are no good.”

“Don’t be like that. She’s a sweet girl.”

“If that lie doesn’t keep you up at night, why should it for me?” Sarah chuckled as she pressed her lips against the glass, shaking her head before walking off, “Mark my words, this thing won’t go beyond this tonight. Just wait, big brother.”

Back in the kitchen, the caterers were busing around getting trays of drinks and hors d’oeuvres out for the crowd in their normal routine, but for some reason tonight, they were a tad bit more busier with the alcoholic drinks going out.

“Who’s in charge?”

The woman, who sitting the glasses on the tray for one of the severs, turned her head towards the entrance door of the kitchen, raising a brow at the woman, “I am.”

The rich woman stared at the girl, giving a cold glare for no apparent reason other than the fact that she could, “Don’t send anymore appetizers out. The main dishes need to be prepped and out in the next thirty minutes. No guest should have anything cold on their plate.”

“Do I hear a please in there? Matter of fact your rudeness needs to be cut from the tone you miserable bit-” A boy mumbled, causing the woman next to him to distinctly step on his foot, prompting him to speak in the full volume of his voice, “Ouch Mercedes.”

Mercedes gave him a look before her eyes turned back to the woman, giving her a respectful nod. Usually she didn’t take anyone talking to her in the way she did but her boss told her that this particular job tonight, she needed to bite her tongue because they were all going to get a healthy bump in their paycheck. She didn’t put money before verbal aggression but in this case, she would because she needed it.

“Miserable Bitch.” He said loudly once the woman was out of sight, “That’s what I was trying to call that hag. I try to respect my elders and never call women out of their name but she’s been pushing it all night. And plus, she’s acting like she’s the one who’s paying us.”

“I know, we only have a few more hours.” Mercedes reassured the youngest of the staff, watching as he huffed out before picking up the tray and heading back out, “Hang in there baby.”

Zachary, Mercedes’ best friend and colleague, met him coming into the kitchen, heading over to her, “All I know is that we better be getting a good bonus because I have bit my tongue so much, I might have to go to the ER.”

Mercedes gave him a sympathetic look before setting the glasses on two more trays, “Yeah, I’m about ready to go at this point, but I need the check bad this month. Things haven’t been good.”

“I know you don’t want to ask your family, but you know you have me and Kels, right? Put the pride aside, we got you.”

“I know.” She told him with a small frown, “I’m grateful but I can’t because you guys have your own family.”

“Shut the hell up with all that.” Zachary said in a way he told her all the time when he saw her stressed and refused help. Him and Mercedes have been friends since they were in pampers, and every since he has known her, she has always had to stubborn, independent stance within herself. He hated it, “We got you. End of discussion. What’s ours is yours, you know that. Now give me the damn tray.”

“Yes sir.” Mercedes mumbled as she handed one off to him then the other server, watching as the walked out.

The next hour had went by without a hitch, thankfully, for the the crew. Mercedes was leaned against the wall, watching as the speeches were made and the interactions between the couple. Usually, after dinner was served, this was her favorite part. Seeing the love between others always brought a smile to her face, but tonight, something felt so inorganic this time around. The groom for one seemed uninterested in everything, and the bride was too busy showing off her ring to everyone more than anything else. Most couples couldn’t be apart from one another on this joyous occasion. It just felt wrong. Hearing the applauses, she saw the groom’s sister come and announce that she had a special video for the couple.

What started off as innocent pictures of them from their childhood, turned into something unimaginable. Mercedes’ mouth went wide as she stared in horror at the video, her eyes traveling to find to Zachary, who was standing next to her in the same position, then the groom, who’s face was unreadable.

You couldn’t hear a pin drop when the video finally shut off. On it was photos of the bride, which looked taken by a PI, making out with some man numerous times that was obviously not her fiancé. What made it even worse was that the same man was here, due to the picture of her dressed in what she was now. Lily, Sam’s fiancée, looked at him in horror, making her way to him, “Babe...it’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh, it is.” Sam glared at her before moving away, a mixture of joy, anguish, and pity in the eyes of the guest, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, “Party’s over. Engagement’s off. Everyone have a great night.”

Mercedes watched as he walked out the room, his ex-fiancé and their parents following closely behind as well. The mumblings about what just happened rose amongst the guest as the started to file out of the venue. She came out of her thoughts when she heard one of her colleagues speak.

“Guess it’s a short night for us. Let’s get to packing up.”

Mercedes started to head to the back, busing herself to get things in order so they could leave expeditiously and that they did within the hour. Her and Zachary were the only ones left, finishing up the last of the kitchen, which wasn’t much.

Zachary looked at his watch and eyes went wide, “Shit, Kelsey’s going to kill me. I was so wrapped in this drama.”

“Go, I can manage the rest.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Zachary kissed her on her forehead before heading out, “I love you.”

“Tell her I said hi.” She called after him, shaking her head when he told her he would and was going to tell about her situation. She shook her head as she moved the dolly towards the counter. Turning back around, she gasped when she ran into someone, eyes going up and seeing it was the man of the night, “I’m sorry, Mr. Evans.”

“Sam, just call me Sam and there’s no need to apologize.” Sam told her, making his way to the other side of the counter, grabbing a paper towel to dry his hands. Truthfully, Sam was hoping that everyone was gone and had accidentally left a bottle of anything brown down there.

Mercedes eyed him carefully before gathering up the cork screws and placing them in the bag.

Sam’s attention was on her. Seeing the uniform, he took obvious note that she was part of the catering crew. He had used them last year but has never seen her before, “I bet this was one of the most entertaining receptions you’ve ever worked.”

“Nothing’s entertaining about what happened.” Mercedes told the man truthfully as she threw the unusable cling wrap in the trash, “You didn’t deserve that.”

Sam watched her movements closely, seeing her at ease as she quickly straighten up the counter. She then moved over to grab the leftover, never opened champagne bottles, stopping her, “Leave one.”

Mercedes glanced at him and nodded, sitting one of the bottles down before she grabbed four, a talent in Sam’s eyes, and placed them in the box.

Sam grabbed two champagne flutes from behind him, sitting them on the counter before swooping the bottle up. He opened the top, somehow avoiding the dramatic spill that comes along with it and poured the liquid into the flutes. He looked at Mercedes once she turned back around, picking up one and gesturing to her, “Have a drink with me.”

“Mr. Eva-urm, Sam.” She corrected as she shook her head, refusing the drink, “I’m still at work.”

“I’ll handle Laura if she so happens to pop up.” He sent her a lopsided grin in reference to her boss, pleading eyes, “Please, for a poor man whose heart just got broken.”

Mercedes pursed her lips and raised a brow, muttering and not realizing that she was that loud when she spoke, “You’re not torn up about it like one would expect.”

Guilty. Sam stared at her seriously, speaking honestly, “Maybe I just want to have a drink with the one genuine, beautiful soul I have met tonight. Who, may I add, have been nothing but nice and professional for the past ten minutes. Hard work pays off and this is your pay off.”

Mercedes rolled her eyes at the guilt trip, mumbling but not admitting how his words made her feel some type of way, “Fine.”

Sam smiled triumphantly as she took the flute, clinking his glass again hers before moving back and taking a sip.

Mercedes did the same, the bubbling alcohol stinging as it went down her throat. To be honest, she wasn’t much of a drinker but she would indulge in the kindness of the client.

“Not a drinker, aye?” Sam took note from the features on her face, laughing a bit when she shook her head and sat the glass down.

“Far form it.” She managed to get out with a snort.

“Maybe I should’ve ask if you’re even old to drink.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Mercedes laughed a bit before resuming back to her work, “I’m old enough to rent a car then add seven more years.”

“Wow.” Was all he said, causing the woman to look at him with a raised brow, he shook his head, “A good wow.”

Mercedes smiled as she leaned against the counter, “Is there anything...” she stopped when she heard her phone ring, grabbing from her pocket to look at the screen, “Excuse me for a second.”

Sam watched as she left out, his eyes wandering over to the platters that was wrapped up. He took a seat and grabbed one, placing it in his lap and picking one. He haven’t even gotten a chance to eat due to all the drama that went on. He powered through three of the delicious croissant sandwiches when Mercedes came, her phone call taking a littler longer than expected, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, my babysitter was just checking in.” She said absently as she looked at him, seeing the surprised look on his face puzzled her, “What?”

“You have a kid?”

“Kids. Six month old twin girls, Bronx and Brooklynn.”

Sam caught her smile get bigger at the mention of her daughters, watching as she showed him her lock screen. Present were two brown skinned, hazel doe-eyed, chubby cheeked little girls giving gummy smiles, “They’re beautiful.” Sam complimented, his eyes going back to her to ask a question, “Is the father in the picture...oh shit, I’m just all in your business, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Mercedes giggled as tucked her phone back into her pocket, going back over to finish stacking the things on the dolly, “Their father was a cheating bastard. Slept with someone, who I thought was my friend, during my whole pregnancy and ended up getting her pregnant. He’s with her now, raising their child and don’t acknowledge my girls.”

“That’s....that’s fucked up.” Sam said bluntly, a frown plastered on his face. He had known this woman all of twenty minutes and was pissed that anyone would treat her and her innocent children like that.

Mercedes shrugged as she moved around, placing a few napkins in front of him so he can use, “It is what it is. I didn’t and will never dwell on it. I’m just trying to make a living for me and my babies. It’s hard, but I’m doing what I need to do.”

“And from what I can tell, you’re doing a hell of a job. Seriously. I commend you for it because having a child, let alone twins, is a lot.“

Mercedes smiled at him, “Thank you.”

Before Sam could respond and ask her some more about herself, he heard the sound of heels clicking against the hardwood, a familiar face appearing as her voice ran out.

“Mercedes, you were suppose to check in thirty minutes ago.” Laura stopped when she noticed that Sam was in the kitchen too, “Oh, Mr. Evans, I didn’t know you were in here. Hopefully Mercedes wasn’t bothering you.”

“She wasn’t.” Sam spoke before Mercedes could, giving the woman a pointed look, “Matter of fact, I was the one bothering her with my venting and held her up.”

“Oh, well that’s quite alright.” She waved off, earning a side eye from Mercedes, “I’m sorry for tonight.”

“Don’t be.” He pulled an envelope from inside of his suit jacket, handing it over to her, “Here’s the rest of your payment, plus some extra for the staff for the snobbish attitudes that they may have encountered from her side.”

“That’s very generous of you, Mr. Evans. Thank you.” Laura smiled at him before her eyes darted to Mercedes then him again, “And I’m sorry once more, but I kind of need my employee back so we can get going.”

“No, it’s okay.” He pushed off the counter, grabbing the platter and champagne to take with him, giving Mercedes a smile, “Thank you for being a listening ear and feeding my stomach.”

“It wasn’t a problem. You try to have a wonderful rest of the night, Mr. Evans.”

“I kind of already did talking to you.” Sam sent her a wink before heading out, leaving the two women alone.

Laura’s eyes back to Mercedes with a raised brow, opening her mouth for a question but Mercedes beat her to it.

“I’m done in here.” She grabbed the dolly and headed out, trying to avoid any questions that the woman may have had for her.

Mercedes mumbled as she headed through the crowded grocery store, cursing at there literally being no baskets left. She didn’t know why she just didn’t do this earlier and was regretting not bringing the stroller with her, prematurely thinking that she would’ve had a basket for the two girls occupying both sides of her hips. She sighed as she looked at them, “Looks like Mommy is going to have to just come back tomorrow.”

“Or not.” A voice came behind her, causing the woman with the children to whip around, familiar green eyes staring back at her with a smile, “You can have mine.”

Mercedes smiled at the man, who she last saw a month ago at his disastrous party, “Sam, hi.”

“Hi.” He had saw her when she first came in. He knew that the baskets were gone because he had grabbed the last one, “It’s good to see you.”

“You too and you don’t have to give me your basket. I’m sure you have things to get too.” She chuckled softly as one of her antsy daughter’s, Bronx, started to wiggle in her arms.

“It’s quite alright, you obviously need it more.” He commented as he looked at the little girls, who were a tad bit older from the picture he saw last month, “So, these are the little cherubs that were on your lock screen?”

“Yes, the one who is trying to escape my arm is Bronx and the always so calm one on my left is Brooklynn.” She watched as Bronx stared at the man curiously, a smile breaking out of her face as she leaned out of her mother’s arm for him, catching the woman by surprise. She never did that for anyone, especially strangers.

“May I?” Sam asked first, watching as the mother nodded before he picked her up, “Hey there cutie pie.”

Mercedes felt sudden relief of the extra weight being lifted but abandonment at the same time. She adjusted Brooklyn on her hip, shaking her head, “She usually doesn’t like people.”

“Guess I’m an exception.” Sam laughed as his eyes went back to hers, “But really, the basket, you can have. I can wait.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Thank you.” She told the man, shaking her head, “I’m sorry, how rude of me, how have you been?”

“Good.” He responded as he walked forward a bit, sitting the little girl in the seat part of the basket, watching as a pout took over her lips but she didn’t cry. He watched as Mercedes placed Brooklyn in there as well, thankful that this was the basket that was capable of sitting them both, “I’m going to be honest here, I’m glad I ran into you because I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night.”

The keys that occupied her hand slipped but Sam was quicker, catching them before they fell to the ground. Her eyes were shocked at the admission, not knowing what to say, “Huh?”

Sam knew he caught her off guard but it was nothing but the truth. That night, Mercedes had made it worth the pretense of it all and he was really grateful that it turned out the way it did. Her presence drew him to her and he knew exactly why. This woman, only talking to her for the short amount of time he did, was the one. Something he didn’t feel with any of his exes, “I fought for a whole month on whether to call Laura and ask for your number. Funny enough, today was going to be the day I did but look at fate interfering. I want to ask if you would like to go out on a date sometime.”

Mercedes looked at him in surprise at his words, not believing that this was happening, “Me?”

“Yes you.”

Mercedes gave him a skeptical stare, shaking her head, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that this man was asking her out, “You can have any girl you want. You’re in your prime, newly single, handsome, have a great job, and no children. I’m a single mother with twins, who gets paid minimal wage. Why?”

“Why not?” Sam watched as she ducked her head shyly, a smile tugging on his lips when he saw the realization on her face that she didn’t have a comeback, “One thing you should know about me, I’m not like them. You’re beautiful, smart, caring, real, hardworking and a great mother to your daughters. What more can a guy ask for?”

Mercedes lifted her head. No man, besides her father, had spoken so highly of her. And here he was. After that night, he left an impression on her and it was more than the act of him being so nonchalant about being cheated on. He was right, he wasn’t like anybody there, snotty, nor belittled the staff, he treated her and she would guess everyone else as equals. That’s what drew her to him, but she didn’t act on it for the simple fact that he probably wouldn’t see her in a romantic way. Deading that idea that night, she went on about her life, until those thoughts and feelings she had resurfaced in this moment. The sincerity in his voice and eyes was all she needed to know that he was serious and because of that, she was willing to give him a chance, “Okay.”

The smile spread so wide on the man’s lips, repeating her words, “Okay.”

Mercedes couldn’t help the heat of cheeks as she stared underneath his gaze, the only thing breaking their trance was her daughter reaching over and throwing the chips down, “Bronx, no.”

The little girl looked at her and giggled, causing Sam to do so as well as he picked it up and placing it back on the shelf, “How about this count as a predate? While we’re shopping, we’ll get to know each other better. What’d you say?”

The smile couldn’t leave Mercedes’ face if she wanted it to, “I’d like that.”

As she shopped, Sam stayed beside her every step of the way doing exactly what he intended to do. Get to know her and vice versa. This grocery trip was full of information and laughter between the two, and the unnecessary need for ease because it was already there.

[the-lupine-sojourner]

The Tale of Astoria Kenobi [Chapter 1] [Obitine and Anidala featured] [Dad!Obi-Wan/Daughter!OC]

I hope you guys like it!

I'll put the same disclaimer I did last time; I am not an expert at all things Star Wars. I'm sorry if I make any mistakes but I'm still learning. Just bear with me. I did so some research to make sure I had the basic timeline right before I got too far into this story though.

Alrighty! This Right Here is the prologue to this story for those who haven’t read it yet. 

Now for the taglist: @elite-guard-hardygal​, @forcearama​ (who created the Scandalore/Secret Marriage AU I’m using), @sunshineisdelightful​, @fwtcanimelover​, and @babycollectiondragon135! Thank you all for being so amazing and supportive! :)

One more thing; Would y'all be mad if I started writing in 1st person from Astoria's point of view? I just realized that doing 3rd person will get a bit difficult.

Also, um...does anyone have scene suggestions for the ten-year gap between this and Attack of the Clones? Cus, looking at the timeline of everything, that's how long it takes to get from this point we're at currently (not long after Phantom Menace) to Attack of the Clones.

Anyway, I'm gonna let you guys read the story now and hope you all enjoy!

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

“Can you believe it?” Satine murmurs, settling her few bags down in the room she’d been loaned. It was rather small and spartan, but Satine had known far harsher living environments and couldn’t complain.

Obi-Wan smiles. “Indeed. The Counsel are rarely so conceding.”

“They even allowed me all day tomorrow to make absolutely certain Astoria will adjust well to life here.”

“Yes, though they more than likely expect the generosity returned, should we have need of it.” Obi-Wan points out sagely. 

Satine nods. “Oh, I’m well aware. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Perhaps, dear, you could request to be given assignments to Mandalore? Since you're the most...experienced in Mandalorian affairs?” 

Obi-Wan smirks, rising to her challenge.“Darling, is this your way of saying you want me home more often?”

“’More often’ implies you’re at home sometimes.” Satine snips, crossing her arms and looking away petulantly, though she wasn’t truly angry with him. The mood shifts regardless and Obi-Wan gently spins her to look at him.

“Satine...you know I would never stay away intentionally.”

“I know, Obi-Wan, but..." Now that Satine had said those words aloud, she realized she did mean them, angry or not, "surely you could manage a few visits? Astoria gets to see you so rarely...she misses you.”

“I miss her more.” Obi-Wan replies softly, easing Satine’s hair from her face. “And you, as well. I meant to leave, you know. But…” The unspoken words ring in the air as if they’d been verbalized.

Obi-Wan would never abandon Anakin, and Satine would never ask him to.

“I know, Obi-Wan.” Satine rubs his arm comfortingly. “I know.”

The pair are content to simply hold each other then, the door shut against any surprise visitors.

=#=#=#=#=

Astoria was nervous, fiddling with the sleeves of her Jedi robes.

She liked her new clothes, plain though they were. They were fairly soft and comfortable, if a little thick for the warmth in the Temple.

The reason she was nervous was that she was waiting outside a chamber Uncle Obi told her his superiors were in.

When she asked what ‘superiors’ were, Obi-Wan had explained that they were the ones that told him where to go and what to do.

And Astoria was going to meet them!

“Don’t worry.” Came a voice behind her, and Astoria turns to see a young boy, not much older than her, standing there smiling. “The Counsel don’t do much. They just ask a lot of questions and sit there.”

Astoria feels a little better, returning the boy’s smile as she extends a hand in greeting. “Thanks. My name’s Astoria Kryze.” She introduces.

The boy shakes her hand. “Anakin Skywalker.” Astoria decided she liked this boy, though he was older than her.

From around the corner came Obi-Wan, having finished whatever had called him away. He smiles in greeting at the two. “I see you two have met. Good.”

Astoria grins. “Yeah!”

Obi-Wan crouches before his daughter, absently straightening her robes. He felt a mixture of pride and sadness that his child was already wearing the Jedi robes, hardly remembering that she was older than most Younglings when they were brought to the Temple. “Now, Astoria, just be polite and everything will go smoothly, alright? No need to be nervous.”

Astoria feels her stomach swirl a little as her nerves started to come back, but felt them leave again when her uncle squeezed her hand and stood up, smiling at her.

Without another word, Obi-Wan hit the button to tell the Counsel they were waiting, and soon enough a deep voice inside told them to enter.

=#=#=#=#=

“Should I be concerned our daughter has such a penchant for fighting?” Satine asks coyly.

The settling of Astoria in the Temple was going rather smoothly. Astoria took to life in the Temple like a duck to water, though Satine suspected her departure for Mandalore the next morning would spell trouble.

Obi-Wan chuckles, distracting Satine from her thoughts. “Darling, she is Mandalorian.”

“Half Mandalorian.” Satine corrects, playfully smacking her husband’s shoulder.

“True, true.” Obi-Wan side-hugged his wife, watching with a large smile on his face, though the smile faltered when he saw that she seemed genuinely a little concerned. “It’s alright, Satine.” He assures her, “She’s just begun her training. She won’t have these violent tendencies for long.”

Directly down the hall from them, Astoria was playing with Anakin. Their playing had quickly dissolved into wrestling and Astoria tended to use more aggressive strategies, Satine noticed.

The thing stalling the adults from intervening was the laughter ringing in the hall.

Anakin had not had it easy in life and Obi-Wan was rather hesitant to stop his Padawan’s fun.

Obi-Wan recalled the meeting with the Counsel not two hours ago. Astoria had charmed the Jedi almost immediately and performed remarkably well on the small tests Mace Windu gave her.

Obi-Wan had even had the fortune of putting the braid in Astoria’s hair himself, missing Fisto’s smirk entirely as he worked.

No one else had said a word when Mace Windu asked who would braid the new Younglings hair, so Obi-Wan came forward, motioning his daughter to him and beginning the braid, instructing her to remain still.

“I am almost sad, seeing the braid in Astoria’s hair.” Satine muses, sighing. She had smiled and encouraged Astoria when the girl proudly displayed it for her mother, but Satine’s heart clenched knowing what that braid meant.

“And yet it means hope.” Obi-Wan reassured Satine, rubbing his wife’s shoulder comfortingly, “She won’t be far out of either of our reach here, darling.”

Satine nods. “Of that, I am certain. But...I won’t get to see her grow up.”

A teasing smirk reaches Obi-Wan’s face and he chuckles. “Now you know what I went through.”

Satine whirls to glare at him, drawing away from her husband's side. “Oh, really, Ben! The nerve!” He knew then that, though her tone and body language conveyed annoyance and perhaps a bit of anger, she was teasing on the inside. She only called him Ben when she was teasing him.

“I have plenty of nerve, my dear.” He counters, daring her to continue their game as he grabs her hips to draw her back in.

Instead of replying, she kisses him boldly on the lips. It’s only through the Force that Obi-Wan had enough warning to withdraw reluctantly from Satine and call for Anakin before Plo Koon rounded the corner.

As a result, the approaching Jedi saw nothing but the children halting their wrestling match and the adults taking the children’s hands. If it weren’t wearing the rebreather, everyone would see his smile as he watches Astoria take her mother's hand.

So this was the new Youngling. He’d been en route to Coruscant when she’d been given her braid, watching her through a hologram as Obi-Wan volunteered to braid the girl’s hair. It was one thing seeing her in a hologram, it was quite another thing seeing her physically.

“Pardon the intrusion.” Plo Koon calls. “I was on my way to the library.” Astoria loved libraries and runs over, still riding the adrenaline of nearly winning her match against Anakin.

“Library?” She asks eagerly, bouncing in front of the Kel-Dorian, who takes her youthful giddiness in stride. “Can I come with you?”

“Yes, little one.” Astoria squeals in delight and before Satine can scold her, Plo Koon takes her hand and guides the excited child down the hall.

Anakin goes to catch up to his new friend, not for the destination, but because he liked her company already and didn’t want to say goodbye yet.

Obi-Wan and Satine follow in the rear, their hearts singing with joy that already their child was making friends.

=#=#=#=#=

Jocasta Nu was pleasantly surprised when Astoria walked up to her, now calm after a few words from Satine about behaving herself, and asked to see some maps of the galaxy.

“Well, dear, we have many maps. Are you looking for anything special?” Jocasta was slightly confused as there were no adults with the child, though she could hear people within the library. Luckily, Satine then came around a bend, spotted her wayward daughter, and approached the librarian apologetically.

“There you are, Astoria.” She takes her daughter’s hand. “Apologies, madam. She’s still young.”

“No need, Duchess.” Jocasta assures Satine patiently. “It’s not every day a Youngling comes in and asks to see maps.”

Satine smiles. “Yes, she is rather curious to see the galaxy. She’s never left Mandalore before.”

Jocasta offers her hand to Astoria and, after once more telling Astoria to behave herself, Satine allowed the kind librarian to lead her daughter away, staying where she was.

Satine was trying to ease Astoria into not needing to be around Satine as much as she could.  After seeing Astoria engrossed in picking out a map, Satine slipped out of the library to pack her things. Come tomorrow morning, Satine would no longer be allowed in the Temple.

Plo Koon, for his part, was watching Astoria with piqued curiosity. There was something about that girl...but he couldn’t quite place what it was.

He supposed he had plenty of time to figure it out and began the task that had led him to the library in the first place.

Obi-Wan helped Jocasta educate Astoria on the various planets the girl asked about and spent a pleasant half an hour this way before Anakin, bored of watching them, wandered off.

Obi-Wan then had to excuse himself. He had to be Anakin’s Master, not Astoria’s father, though he yearned to stay where he was.

Anakin was looking at records of various lightsabers. He still called them ‘laser swords’ and Obi-Wan had yet to fully iron out that habit.

The group spent a pleasant afternoon in the library while Satine, heart growing a little heavier with every item packed, was alone in her room.

She knew full well now that Astoria would be very happy here, would grow into a Jedi that would make her and Obi-Wan prouder than they already were, if that were possible.

And yet Satine would miss her daughter terribly. She knew there would be visits and calls as often as could be helped, but it wasn’t the same as having Astoria in the palace with her.

It never would be.

Obi-Wan found her nearly packed after escorting the Younglings to the evening meal. He’d slipped out with two portions, one for him and one for his wife.

He knew this was hard on her and regretted that he had to put his duties before his family. “Take a break.” He calls as he enters. “I brought food.” Satine turns and walks over, heart lightening a little at seeing him.

“Thank you, Master Jedi.” She says, glance teasing as she took her plate.

They sat on her bed and all was quiet for a few minutes. “Satine, I wish I could say it gets easier, missing her day in and day out, but I’d be lying.” He murmurs, knowing full well the source of the weight on her shoulders.

“How do you cope?” She asks miserably.

“You learn to treasure the moments you see them, hologram or in person, and memorize the little things, the tidbits that make the person who they are.” Obi-Wan says softly, wrapping an arm around Satine as she leans her head on his shoulder. “You memorize their voice and let the memories surface when you feel the loneliest.”

“Seems a rather dull way of life.”

“We’ve known worse.”

“That we have, darling.” Satine finds a small strength in that revelation. Yes, she had survived worse than separation from her daughter. "It’ll be a hard conversation, explaining all this to her.” Satine sighs, leaning on her husband for support in more ways than one, her head against his shoulder.

Obi-Wan nods, leaning his head against Satine's. “Yes. Do you want me there?”

Satine nods her head. “That might be wise. You are her father and a Jedi. You can explain the things I can not.” Her tone was sad, resigned. The matter of leaving Astoria and having to explain to her why Satine was leaving still weighed incredibly heavy on his mind.

“Satine, it’ll be alright. You’ll see.”

=#=#=#=#=

Astoria washes down her food with a few gulps of water, grimacing a little.

The food was satisfying to be sure, but it really didn’t taste like much.

Anakin told her he wasn’t overly fond of it, either, but it was better than what he had on Tattoine.

That prompted an eager discussion between the children about where they each were from.

That is, until Obi-Wan appeared and informed them it was time for evening meditation and bedtime. Anakin groans and heads off with the other Younglings they’d been eating with, but Obi-Wan grabs Astoria’s shoulder and silently leads her to Satine’s room. He’d talk to her about meditation later.

Astoria was wondering where her mom had gone, about to ask where she was when Obi-Wan came to guide her to Satine’s room after her bland meal.

It doesn't take long to get to the room.

“Hi mommy!” Astoria cheers, missing the sadness in Satine’s eyes as she hugs her mother.

“Hello, dear. Did you enjoy dinner?” Satine asks, settling Astoria beside her.

“No. It didn’t taste like the food back home.” Astoria replies, wrinkling her nose.

“Well, you have to get used to it.” Satine says gently.

Astoria wasn’t paying much attention; she was more concerned with why her mom’s bags were packed. “Are we going home already?” She asks. “We just got here!”

“Darling…” Satine winces, drawing Astoria into her lap. “You have to stay here. I have to go back to Mandalore.”

Astoria’s eyes go wide, head tilted in confusion. “But...but Momma, I thought…”

“You remember your mother telling you about my job?” Obi-Wan chimes in, feeling his heart ache at the troubled look on his daughter’s face and the sadness in his wife’s eyes.

“Yeah, but...Uncle Obi...that’s your job.” Astoria points out, not understanding why she was staying when her mother was returning to Mandalore.

“And you will be helping me.” He says.

Astoria frowns. “Really?”

“Yes, in a way. You will stay here, learning what the Masters teach you, and in time you will help me with my job.”

“But why can’t Mommy stay, too?” Astoria asks, lip trembling a little as the weight of what was happening was beginning to occur to her.

“Because, sweetheart, I don’t work here.” Satine explains simply. “It was through the kindness of the Counsel that I was allowed to come with you in the first place. But they can’t let me stay. This place...is special.”

“I’ll miss you.” Astoria whimpers, going to hug her mother tightly. “I don’t want you to go!”

“Oh, Astoria, I’ll miss you greatly, as well. But don’t lose heart; you can call me sometimes when you’re allowed. And maybe you can even visit me once in a while.”

“Really?” Astoria asks, hardly daring to believe it.

“Yes, Astoria. Now...I have a lesson for you before bedtime, alright?” Obi-Wan interjects, reluctantly cutting the moment short. Satine was well aware she was on limited time with Astoria, but smiles at her daughter encouragingly.

Astoria slowly gets off the bed. She then turns back around. “Are you leaving now?”

“No. I’m leaving first thing tomorrow.” That comforts Astoria and she hugs her mom again, kissing her cheek before leaving with Obi-Wan. The two are quiet as they walk toward her new bedroom.

It wasn’t far from Anakin’s, which would make it easier for Obi-Wan to check up on her when he could.

“What’s the lesson?” Astoria asks once they’re in her room.

“Sit.” Obi-Wan says simply and crosses his legs. Astoria grunts and struggles to get her legs crossed. Obi-Wan chuckles and leans over, helping her get into position.

“This hurts, Uncle Obi.” She grumbles.

“You’ll get used to it. Now, I want you to take deep breaths and close your eyes. Think of something that makes you feel at ease.”

Astoria tilts her head. “What does that mean?”

Obi-Wan reaches out with the Force, sensing her connection easily. It was turbulent and unruly, like most Younglings. She’d have much work to do calming this flurry of thoughts and emotions.

He helps her begin that process slowly, easing his way through the storm to the center. There, he calms the pulsing ball of energy he finds, very very slowly. If he dimmed the ball too much, he’d risk harming Astoria.

“Like this, young one." Obi-Wan says, eyes still closed. Astoria sighs contentedly, sudden exhaustion causing her to yawn.

“...I think I like this, Uncle Obi.”

“Good, remember how this feels, and try to quiet your mind even further.” Obi-Wan instructs, withdrawing his presence in his daughter’s mind.

“I don’t know how.” Astoria replies, coming back to her senses a bit and feeling embarrassed she didn’t know.

“It’s alright. Just breathe and relax. Don’t let your mind wander. Imagine putting it to bed.”

“...” There are several moments of quiet before Astoria groans, and Obi-Wan feels the progress he’d made vanish as she comes out of her attempted meditation. “It’s not working.”

“Patience.” He replies softly, his mind calming as he talks. “It doesn’t come without practice. Try again.”

Astoria does, with the same result, but Obi-Wan had felt a subtle change. It was clear she was trying, but she was still overthinking things.

He smiles at her and decides that was enough practice for tonight. “Alright, Astoria. Let’s go to bed.”

“But I didn’t do what you wanted.” Astoria protests as he helps her stand.

“That’s alright. You just started learning. No one learns meditation right away. I struggled with it, too, but with time and patience, I was able to master it. One day, you will master it, as well.” Astoria nods, going to brush her teeth.

“Can I say goodbye to Momma tomorrow?” She asks once she’s getting under the thin cover on her bed.

“Yes. I’ll wake you so you can say goodbye, but then it’ll be breakfast time and we’ll have to go eat.” Obi-wan explains.

Astoria nods, yawning. “Thanks, Uncle Obi.” She murmurs sleepily. Obi-Wan has to fight the urge to kiss her forehead. He knew better than to confuse the girl by being overly affectionate just yet.

“Goodnight, Astoria.” He whispers from the doorway, closing the door quietly and leaving.

=#=#=#=#=

“It was quite the honor, having you as our guest, Duchess.” Kit Fisto says genuinely, walking beside Satine on her way to her ship.

“And I am most grateful for the opportunity.” She replies, just as genuinely. “I don’t think I would have left Astoria here if I couldn’t see for myself what the Temple was like. When Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were my protectors, Obi-Wan would describe his training as intense and the conditions in the Temple as spartan at best.”

“Perhaps he was exaggerating, or perhaps he assumed you were used to a life of luxury and thought the Temple would not suit you.”

“Perhaps.” Satine concedes, unsure herself what he had meant, but content with either explanation.

“If I may be frank, Duchess, I suggested your visit to let you see Obi-Wan again. I understand you two are...close.”

Satine’s heart skipped, but she remained calm outwardly. “Yes. A year on the run together tends to make people close.” She muses.

“I’m certain.” Is Fisto’s careful reply. He knew for a fact she was hiding just how close She and Obi-Wan were, but he was not willing to upset her by revealing he knew of their relationship. “If it helps at all, I will do my part to look after Astoria. I may not control which Master will one day train her, but I assure you whoever it is will take very good care of your daughter.”

“Thank you, Master Fisto.” Satine replies. She quite liked Kit Fisto. He was more approachable than other Jedi, more...relaxed and almost carefree.

By now, they were near her ship, and the pair turn when they hear running footsteps behind them.

“Astoria, wait!” That was Obi-Wan's voice, sounding far away, and soon enough, Astoria came into view, stumbling haphazardly around a corner and barreling toward her mother, eyes wide and desperate.

“Mom, don’t leave yet!” She cries, pumping her legs as fast as she could and it’s only through Kit Fisto kneeling and sticking an arm out that Astoria was prevented from knocking her mother clean over.

“You must learn restraint, young one. You would have hurt your mother running into her like that.” He cautions, letting Astoria go so she could jump into her mother’s waiting arms.

“Sorry, Master!” She squeaks with the good grace to look sheepish now that she had accomplished her goal.

She’d made it before her mother left. That was all that mattered to the girl. 

Obi-Wan walks over, panting. “She just took off after I woke her up. She was so worried she'd miss you leaving.” He explains with no small amount of exasperation. Satine smiles.

“Thank you for escorting her, Master Kenobi.” She replies, refusing to acknowledge Fisto’s smile that seemed too knowing.

“Of course, Duchess.” The two then remember that they weren’t alone and walk to the ship, a respectful distance between them, Fisto trailing a bit behind, highly amused that they thought they were successfully hiding their feelings for each other.

Astoria didn’t move her head from her mother’s shoulder till they were at the landing ramp. It was so hard for Astoria to understand why she had to stay, but she had to say goodbye to her mother now. “I’ll miss you, momma.” She whimpers, sniffling and slowly leaving her mother’s arms when Satine hugs her again, kissing her daughter’s cheeks and forehead.

“Darling, you’ll see me again before you know it.” She insists, smiling sweetly at Astoria and gently lifting her chin so the child was looking at her. “Be strong, dear, and learn everything you can, alright?”

“Alright.” Astoria replies thickly.

Reluctantly, Obi-Wan calls her from his position a few feet away. “Astoria, come on. Your mother has to leave.” Astoria runs to her ‘uncle’, a few tears running down her cheeks. Out of sympathy, Obi-Wan crouches and lets Astoria hug him briefly as he waves to Satine subtly.

The ship then closes with Satine on board and Astoria sobs as Obi-Wan stands, unable to carry her and continue the comforting hug with Fisto nearby.

“Astoria, remember what your mother said. You have to be strong. No more tears.” Obi-Wan felt so proud when Astoria obeyed, wiping her eyes and squaring her shoulders.

“...Can I get some food?” She asks meekly. “I’m hungry.”

[floor13xxdeactivated0912020]

Let’s Do It

Summary: Kels and you are best friends and he is jealous of your boyfriend

Warnings: Mentions of smoking, but really none.

A/N: Hey you guys! This is my first imagine on here and I just wanna say requests are opened and you guys are more than welcome to request things! I am in school so it may take me awhile, but I will try my best! I hope you guys like it :) Also, this turned out a whole lot longer than I wanted, but I hope y’all enjoy!

“Colson!” I shouted as he bursts with laughter.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry!” He said in between laughs. I just smiled to myself. It’s been awhile since Colson and I have had time to just hangout since school has started back up and work and Dylan and since he’s been working on music. Right now he’s on break before his Europe tour. We’ve just been hanging out playing video games and eating junk food as usual. Normally we would smoke, but I get drug tested at work. “Are you going to press start?” He asked me with a smile.

“Oh sorry.” Right then my phone buzzed. My boyfriend had texted me.

“Don’t tell me. Is that the guy?” Colson said with an annoyed tone and a huff. I let out a sigh. Colson never approves of the guys I date, but that’s fair because I never approve of the girls he brings home.

“His name is Dylan and he’s going to come over for a little bit.” I couldn’t see his face but I know he rolled his eyes.

“Of course. I’m back for a month and you want to hangout with him. Seriously Y/N why?” Now I was rolling my eyes.

“Hey he’s not like everyone else. He’s a man and has a good job and makes great money.” I laughed in attempts to lighten the mood, but that didn’t work. He still looked extremely pissed off. Just then a knock was at my door. I didn’t say anything, but I just stood to my feet and walked to answer the door. Opening I see Dylan’s wide smile.

“Hey babe.” He says with a kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Here, I have someone here you need to meet.” I took Dylan’s hand and led him into the living room. Colson was there on his phone. He didn’t even acknowledge us walking in. “Colson this is Dylan. My boyfriend. Dylan, this is my best friend Colson.” Dylan nodded with a smile, but Colson didn’t look so enthused.

“Dude how old are you?” Colson bluntly asked.

“I’ll be 32 in September.” Dylan says to which Colson let out a stifled laugh.

“Are you serious Y/N?” I rolled my eyes. “You’re with a senior citizen.”

“You’re 28!” I snapped.

“Yeah but you just turned 22 and I’m not fucking you, but if I was I’ve been your friend way too long so I don’t even count as a stranger. Plus, didn’t you say he was your boss?” I snapped.

“Colson, if you’re just going to be a jerk then I don’t even see why you came over anyways.” I said biting my lip. Colson looked to me kinda puzzled.

“Babe don--”

“I don’t either Y/N.” Colson stood up to his feet from the floor and grabbed his bag. I let out a sigh as Colson pushed past Dylan and I, giving Dylan a hard shove. 

“Cols--” I was cut off by the slamming of the door. Dylan looked at me very confused. “I’m sorry Dy--”

“Baby it’s okay no reason to apologize.” He pulled me into a tight hug. “Besides, you don’t need to have a guy best friend anyways. This way, I don’t have to worry about him.” I was confused with Dylan’s words. He was comforting me, but also saying I don’t need guy friends?

“What? I can have guy friends.”

“Baby no.” He said with a kiss on my forehead. “You can’t have guy friends when I’m with you. I’m the only guy you need.” I was a little surprised hearing this. “Guys just wanna fuck and I don’t want to think about that guy covered in tattoos fucking you behind my back.” I let out a laugh in hopes he was joking.

******

I was currently laying in bed crying. Colson wasn’t answering my texts, calls, snaps, or even my DM’s. Dylan and I got into a huge fight and he left too. I haven’t tried getting ahold of Dylan, but I didn’t care about our fight. Right now I needed to talk to Colson. I didn’t want to lose my best friend and my boyfriend in one day. I was scrolling on Colson’s page when I heard my front door shut from the living room. “Hello?” I called out reaching for my pepper spray on the nightstand.

“Fuck.” I recognized that mumbled voice.

“Colson?” I darted towards the kitchen seeing Colson leaning against the counter.

“Y/N I’m kinda fucked up.” He started laughing making me laugh, then I remembered this afternoon.

“Colson? Do you remember earlier today?” I didn’t want to ruin our moment but I was confused. He let out a sigh.

“Yeah. I’m not that fucked up.” We stood there in silence. He looked up to me. “I’m sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No no I’m glad you did. Dylan was not the one for me.” I said with a chuckle and I see the grin on Colson’s face.

“I told you.” We both started laughing. “But I’m sorry it didn’t work out Y/N.” I started to walk over to him so I could see him in the dim light.

“Not the end of the world. Anyone who comes between my friend and I is not worth it.” I smiled and Colson did too. I saw his gaze break from my eyes to lower and his smile faded. I just--” Colson’s lips were on mine. I could taste a hint of the drink he had and some residue from a blunt. I didn’t stop. I was shocked, but I didn’t want to stop. His hand cupped my face as I felt my arms naturally go around his neck pushing myself closer to him. He pulled away as we both looked into each other’s eyes. He let out a slight chuckle and so did I as he bit his lips.

“Fuck.” He mumbled. “I’m sorry Y/N. I don’t kn--” This time I cut him off with another kiss. He didn’t hesitate to kiss back. He somehow maneuvered us to where my backside is pressing against the counter as he pushes himself against me harder. “I’m sorry.” He said laughing.

“Don’t be sorry. Just tell me what you’re feeling. I said pushing him back a little bit remembering the reality we are in. We’re best friends and he’s drunk.

“I like you. I’ve always liked you.” I felt my heart skip a beat. “Literally no girl makes me as happy as you do. I used to hate coming home, but now I look forward to coming home because I know you’re here.” He said looking into my eyes. I felt so giddy on the inside now hearing that.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“I didn’t know how I felt until I saw your hand in his. And then I thought about all the things I wanted to do with you and I just couldn’t stand the thought of you doing them with someone else.” We both smiled at each other and started laughing.

“This is a little cliche don’t you think?” I asked as we are slowly swaying back and forth.

“Yeah very much so, but I’m kinda drunk and feeling oddly confident and all I know is I want you in my life for as long as I can.” I leaned up and kissed him again. Short and sweet but so much love behind our kiss.

“I want you in my life till the end. You’re my best friend Colson. Always have and always will be. Are you sure about this? What if we ruin things?” I asked nervous. I loved him when we were younger, but he never seemed interested so I just put the thought out of my head.

“Then we admit we fucked up and move on someday. But I’m focused on the now, not what if.” He says and I just smiled at him again.

“Let’s do it.”

[imaginesforyourfandom]

I’m Gay! - USWNT Imagine

(Y/N) POV:

I paced around my room trying to hype myself for the conversation I was about to have. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but for some reason I am scared shitless. I took a breath and tried to calm my self down.

“I can’t do it” I mumbled to myself as I sat down putting my head in my hands. I have tried about five different times to have this conversation with my teammates, yet every single time I have chickened out.

I don’t understand why I am so scared. Coming out to a team full of gays should feel easier. I don’t believe in my heart for a second that they would stop loving me or hate me, but damn if I don’t feel the pressure. I am psyching myself out too much.

My head shot up when I heard the door open. It was Alex, Kelley, and Pinoe laughing about something. I tried to hide the fear that I felt and smiled at them. They both gave me odd looks when they saw the nervousness on my face.

“Are you-?”

“I’m Gay!” I said rubbing my hands together and swallowing. I let out a shaky breathe waiting for their reactions.

“Same!” Pinoe said grinning at me

“Mood” Kelley said nodding her head

Alex gave them both looks and then walked towards me pulling me in for a hug. Kel and Pinoe then both joined the hug as I started crying a little into Alex’s shoulder. I pulled back from them wiping my eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Pinoe said taking my face into her face. “You are so loved on this team and it doesn’t matter who you love. Nothing is ever going to change how much we care for you.”

Her words caused me to cry harder as she pulled me closer rubbing my back as I cried into her shoulder.

“I don’t know why I was scared.” I said continuing to wipe away my tears. “I knew you wouldn’t care, but I just…”

“Hey, you’re fine. Coming out is a scary thing. We are all super proud of you.” Kelley said giving me a huge smile. “So, you got a girlfriend? Like anyone? I need to know.”

I let out a laugh as the other two girls also laughed. Alex wrapped an arm around me to give me some comfort as I blushed at Kelley’s questions.

“No girlfriend. Unfortunately.” I said leaning my head against Alex’s shoulder. She immediately pulled away and looked at me.

“You do like someone though?” she said staring at me with shock. I looked at her and then the other girls with a deer in headlights look.

“No!” I said shaking my head with wide eyes.

“You do! Oh my god, Is it someone on the team?”

I blushed super hard and looked away from them. I thought about my crush on Mal. We were both the younger players on the team so usually we stayed near each other.

“It’s Mal” I said looking at them.

All three of them got huge smiles on their faces. I don’t think my face could get redder of I tried.

“This is amazing.” Kelley mumbled looking to the two other girls. “I am already planning the wedding in my head. Oh my god. Ash is going to flip”

“Ash? JJ and Crystal are going to flip. They’ve been going on this for weeks.”

I watched all three girls go into a conversation about which teammates were most likely to flip out over my crush on Mal.

“Someone want to fill me in?” I asked looking at them. “You seemed shocked for like five seconds.”

“Oh honey, the whole team has been wanting you and Mal together for like ever.” Alex gave me a small smile as I stared at her my mouth opening in surprise.

“Wait…are you going to tell the rest of the team?” Pinoe asked giving me a serious look. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do. I just am nervous.”

“(Y/N) you do not have to if you do not want to.” Kelley said matching Pinoe’s look of seriousness.

“I want to.” I said nodding my head.

“When do you want to? I can call a team meeting right now if you want.” Pinoe said nodding her head as she pulled her phone out.

“No, I have an idea.” I pulled my phone out and went to our group chat with everyone else. I typed out a message really quick. I read it over to edit it and make sure that there were no errors. I then pressed send. All three girls looked to their phones. Pinoe and Alex both let out laughs as Kelley read it out loud.

“I hope you don’t mind but I’m gay. Short and sweet I like it.”

“No, we wait” I said sitting down waiting for everyone to respond. They all smiled at me.

“I am so proud of you” Alex said giving me a big smile. I smiled back at her and then turned my head towards the door when it flew open.

Ashlyn and Tobin came in with Christen, JJ, and Ali behind them. Ashlyn said nothing as she pulled me into a hug.

“My little gay baby.” She said turning towards everyone with me still in her arms.

I was then passed around for hugs as more people started coming into the room. I gave them all smiles and thanked them for their support. My heart practically jumped into my stomach as Mal entered the room. She didn’t say a word as she walked up to me and hugged me. I let my head drop to her shoulder and closed my eyes.

“I love you so much.” She said pulling back and looking at me. “This doesn’t change anything between us. You are still my best friend”

I nodded my head giving her a smile as she hugged me again. I turned to see Alex and Kelley both giving me thumbs up and Pinoe mouthing the words ‘Kiss her’ to me. I shook my head at them and turned to smile at Mal.  

“Can we go for a walk?” I asked quietly. She nodded her head and grabbed my hand pulling me out of the room. Once we got outside, we walked for a little bit until we found a bench to sit down on.

“Are you okay?” she asked me as I looked at her nervously.

“Yeah I just…there are other things I need to talk to you about.” I said giving her another nervous look. She nodded her head and motioned for me to continue what I was saying.

“I like you Mal” I said looking down away too afraid to see her reaction. “I have for a while. I didn’t really know how to tell you because I care about you so much and I love our friendship so much, but I feel like I need to be honest not just with you but with myself.”

I looked at her and she was nodding her head along to what I was saying. I released a shaky breath waiting to hear what she had to say. She then shocked the hell out of me by leaning forward and kissing me. I immediately reciprocated leaning forward and cupping her face. She leaned her forehead to mine, and I took a deep breath opening my eyes to see a smile on her face. I smiled back at her as I took a chance leaning in to give her another kiss which she smiled into.

“This day is just full of surprises” she mumbled as I let out a laugh. She reached forward intertwining our fingers. “I like you too if you couldn’t guess.”

I let out a laugh as I stared at her amazement in my eyes. She grinned at me and the expression on my face.

“I never would have known.” I joked as she let out a laugh. I grinned at her as she played with my fingers. I stared down at our hands and then looked up at her.

“So, where does this leave us?” It was her turn to give me a nervous look.

“Can I take you on a date?” I asked giving her a small smile. She nodded her head and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. She then stood up and pulled me up with her.

“That date starts now. Let’s go. I want ice cream” she said dragging me with her to get some ice cream. To be fair, this was how she usually was with me. I wouldn’t want her any other way though.

The End.

[heroineimages]

Anyone else have this problem?

Anyone else ever create a character that they love dearly but have no idea what to do with? I wrote a character for my novel who has been great fun to write, but I have no idea what her future role in the narrative will be. Her name is Liani, and she’s a slave/assistant/lover to a retired courtesan named Senyara. With her growing harem, Queen Viarra hires Senyara to help train her slave girls as courtesans, with the intent of creating a network of spies posing as courtesan emissaries. Senyara, however, has a only a year or two to live due to a heart condition. In return for her service, she makes a deal with Viarra to keep Liani safe and among people who care about her once Senyara passes on. 

Liani is one of my favorite characters I’ve made, because she’s a grown woman but is silly and simple-minded, with this child-like earnestness in everything she does. At the same time, she’s surprisingly perceptive of other people’s moods and emotions. I love her character, but I have no idea what to do with her in the long run. In the following scene, Queen Viarra’s lover Elissa sits under a tree, fretting after Viarra has to sail south without her. Liani sits with Elissa and helps her feel better, just by listening and being herself. 

Elissa sat against a tree in the atrium of her majesty’s harem estate, staring past the branches at the stars. Her majesty, her love, her everything, she was gone. Queen Viarra had left aboard the Myrmidonian Harpe and sailed south without her. Yes, Elissa understood their need for haste, that there’d been no time to return to Kel Fimmaril before sailing south. But she’d never been left behind before. She’d never been apart from her love for so long.

She felt an emptiness in her guts, a hopeless feeling that something was going to go wrong. And there was nothing she’d be able to do about it. What if her love never came back? What if something happened while her majesty was in the south, and Elissa never got to say farewell?

It was irrational, gods knew it was. Her majesty was strong and intelligent and always surrounded herself with loyal, capable people. She was sailing on a powerful, well-built warship, and the Vestic’s winter storms had ended weeks ago. There was literally no probable reason why Queen Viarra was in danger of not returning, and yet Elissa couldn’t shake the empty, lonely feeling in her guts.

The sound of a poorly muffled giggle interrupted Elissa’s fretting. She could hear Liani trying to sneak up on her—that strange serving woman who’d traveled with that courtesan woman, Senyara. Senyara was here to help train her majesty’s harem girls as future courtesans, but Elissa had no idea what Liani’s role in all of this was.

“Boo!” Liani shouted, bursting around the tree at Elissa. “Hi, Elissa!” she chirped, giggling. “Did I scare you?”

“Um, maybe a little?” Elissa answered, still uncertain of how to respond to the strange, tall brown-haired woman. Apparently Liani was practicing sneaking up on people?

“I did scare you; I can tell,” Liani laughed, plopping down to sit beside Elissa. “I’m a sneaky kitty, like Corsair!”

So she was pretending to be a kitty? Elissa frowned again, trying to recall everything she knew about Liani. Two days ago, one of the harem singers had sang a story about nymphs, which lead to Liani pretending to be a nymph by running around “seducing” fair maidens—which to her apparently meant awkwardly hugging the other harem women until they either hugged her back or asked her to go away.

Liani cocked her head as she watched Elissa. “Kitty says you smell kind of sad,” she observed, leaning in and making sniffing noises.

“I guess I am,” Elissa sighed, tucking her knees against her chest. “Her majesty sailed away to the south, and I’m left here without her. I mean, I know she’ll be alright, but we’ve never been apart this long, and I don’t know what to do.”

“I understand. You’re worried about your mistress, huh?” Liani frowned, sounding genuinely sympathetic. “I worry about my mistress all the time, too. She’s dying, you know.”

“Wait… what?” Elissa turned to her sharply. “No, I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, she has something wrong with her heart,” Liani confided, sniffling and looking up at the stars. “The physicians say she only has another year or two. It’s why mistress asked Queen Viarra to keep me safe after mistress dies.”

“Gods, I had no idea, Liani,” Elissa apologized, scooting over and wrapping her arms around the strange woman. Liani leaned in to rest her head atop Elissa’s. “I feel bad now,” Elissa admitted. “I was worrying irrationally over my love, even though I know she’ll be fine. But you, you know that your time with your love is short. I… feel kind of selfish by comparison.”

“My mistress has always been so kind to me,” Liani sniffed loudly, weeping. “My past master and mistress weren’t kind. They’d yell and hit me when I made mistakes. I know I’m not as smart as the other slaves, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t trying.” She sobbed again. “And their son and daughter… they were both so horrible. They used to make me have sex with them, and it was awful. I always felt sick after. Their son, he–he said he was practicing for when he got married. I always felt so bad for that girl who had to marry him. I hope she’s okay.

“But Mistress Senyara, she rescued me,” Liani continued, looking at Elissa behind earnest tears. “She bought me and took me away from those terrible people. She’s so kind, and she’s always patient when I make mistakes. And she’s so gentle when we have cunny-sex. She cares for me and wants me to be happy. And I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy.”

“And I want to spend the rest of my life making Queen Viarra happy,” Elissa assured her, feeling a sudden kindred spirit with the strange woman. Liani gave a grateful smile as Elissa reached up to wipe her tears.

“I really like Queen Viarra,” Liani said, nodding. She leaned in conspiratorially. “Have you ever had cunny-sex with her? She’s not as soft and gentle as mistress, but she’s really, really good at it.”

It felt like a minute or two before Elissa could make herself stop laughing.

“I’m serious,” Liani insisted. “She is really, really good.”

“I know she is, Liani,” Elissa said, trying to regain herself. She leaned in, mimicking Liani’s conspiratorial posture. “She learned everything she knows about ‘cunny-sex’ by practicing on me,” she whispered.

“Wow,” Liani whispered back, staring at Elissa in awe. “You’re really lucky.”

“Yeah,” Elissa decided, thinking it over. “I guess I am pretty lucky. Thank you for helping me realize that, Liani,” she said, leaning up to kiss Liani’s cheek.

“You’re welcome,” Liani answered as Elissa leaned against her shoulder. Liani lay her cheek against the top of Elissa’s head in return. They sat together for several comfortable minutes.

“Do you want to go have cunny-sex?” Liani asked suddenly, her tone completely earnest.

Elissa just started laughing again.

[arofili]

Aro Kel Masterpost

ETA: I wrote a fic about aro!Kel/Dom, read that if you want ;)

After Tamora Pierce revealed that Kel is aro, I was elated. To finally have representation of any kind, especially from an author and a character I really love, felt so good. Now, it’s not really good representation - I would have preferred to have it explicit and there from the beginning, but this is still incredible for me. So, naturally, this new information spurred me to reread the Protector of the Small series with Kel’s aromanticism in mind, and I unearthed a whole lot of interesting things.

A lot of this was fairly obvious, but much of it was subtext, and there’s still a lot of parts of Kel’s love life that required a bit of effort to see as part of her arospec experience, but I would say that she reads as pretty darn aromantic to me now. In this post, I’ve compiled a bunch of quotes/scenes (mostly paraphrased, sorry) and thoughts about Kel’s aromanticism and how it was portrayed in the books.

This post has been more than a year in the making, mostly because I’m lazy as fuck, but I finally managed to finish it up for @aggressivelyarospec​ week 2018! Also, the wonderful podcast @tortallrecall is coming up on Kel’s arc soon, and I hope they’ll discuss Kel’s aromanticism, so I wanted to provide an aro person’s opinion on Kel being aro for them to have as a resource if they want to use it :)

Overall: I don't think Tamora Pierce wrote the series meaning for Kel to be aro, because I doubt she would have included the “romance” with Neal, Cleon, or Dom, though that is still justifiable with her being aro [see my explanations below], but I think that she did write it with her being less interested in romance than her peers and Pierce’s other heroines and I think she very intentionally gave Kel a happy ending without romance. And so looking back, the aro label fits. She is definitely arospec, and I am delighted to read about an aromantic character.

First Test

There’s a part where Neal is being all dramatic and talking about the glory of knighthood, but Kel says something along the lines of “Well, sure, but being sung about will take a lot of hard work”. Neal responds, “You aren’t a bit romantic, are you?” and I know that it’s a different kind of “romantic” in this context but also PUNS!

“she'd had experiences with crushes—none her own, of course”

I know Kel is 10 at this point, but also, that is exactly what I was thinking at age 10.

Whenever Cleon fake flirts with her, she's so exasperated and amused. At one part he says he'll pine for her until she returns and she thinks “He'll pine and I'm a holly bush”.

And she's always so sympathetic about Roald's arranged marriage. And sure, anyone could be because they’re not ~in love~ but Kel just seems really sympathetic about marriage in general.

Neal has a crush on Daine in this book, which I had forgotten about, and Kel is so exasperated every time he talks about it. She consoles him, but she's so confused and amused by his feelings.

Page

So here we get to the part where 11-year-old Kel thinks she likes Neal. It’s funny, because it happens at the same time when Neal has a crush on Uline of Hannalof, so I think there’s definitely an argument for her reacting of jealousy. She definitely has some feelings for him, but I don’t think they’re quite romantic, and she doesn’t understand them. At least, that’s how I’m choosing to read it.

And she keeps making fun of him about his feelings, and the part where she and her friends all get together to sing him a sappy love song is really funny.

Also, she keeps complaining to Lalasa that he won’t actually do anything about his feelings. Even when she thinks she has a crush on him, she’s annoyed by romance.

@buffintruda and I were talking about this, and I wondered how we hadn’t thought of Kel being aro before the announcement, and they said something I think is very true:

Too be fair, for me at least, the last time I read her books was before I knew I was aro, and her relationships and crushes deterred me from considering it, even though now that you point them out, they're pretty weak and aro-y

At some point in the story, Cleon’s fake flirting becomes real, but Kel doesn’t realize it. She still thinks he’s joking up until halfway through Squire. Even when he’s being really obvious and blushing and commenting on her appearance, she’s just confused as to why he keeps doing this and doesn’t even consider the idea that he could be sincere.

Honestly this is such a GEM of a quote. Like, same:

“I can flirt just as well as my gelding can dance” 

When Kel is talking to Joren about how he’s “changed”, and he tells her that she should get married and her immediate response is “I don’t want to be married”. She does think of Neal, but it’s an afterthought. When I used to force myself to pretend to like someone, before I knew I was aro, I would do the same sort of thing - “I don’t want to marry anyone, ew! Wait, no, I would totally marry [insert fake crush here]...” It’s something she feels like she’s supposed to think, not something she actually feels.

Honestly, Kel’s whole crush on Neal is not really a big deal, even to her. She’ll pine over him when a situation comes up that makes her think about romance, and she’ll occasionally have that “heart flutter” thing, but it’s mostly them being great friends and she seems to forget she’s supposed to have a crush on him while she’s hanging out with him. This seems a lot more like a squish than a crush, at least to me.

So this isn’t technically related to Kel’s aromanticism, but I couldn’t leave it out. Before their third examinations, Kel and Neal talk about their friends and Neal says something like “I wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything”. Ahhh I was so emotional when I read that!! Their friendship is so good and heartwarming and beautiful that I wanted to cry!

Kel made a joke out of it, but it was really sweet and that moment was truly beautiful and relateable. It’s great to see strong friendships shown in books, even if one of the people thinks that they’re in love with the other one.

And in this scene, Kel didn’t think about her “crush” even once, even though it was a pretty intense moment for both of them.

Squire

When Kel finds out that Alanna wants Neal for her squire, she has this silly line about “I can’t not be his friend even if I can’t be his love” and Kel, please. That is far too melodramatic for you! This is so out of character it feels forced, which, if we view it through an aromantic lens, it probably is.

Aw yeah, Raoul is back! I love him. Another aro icon! @buffintruda​ and I couldn’t believe that we could imagine him as arospec, but totally overlook Kel!

When Kel joins the Own, she meets Dom! She’s wondering why Dom makes her feel all weird and “romantic” moreso than she ever felt for Neal, and I’m like... It’s because you’re making this all up! It’s amatonormativity and heteronormativity! Once you’re not around Neal, you forget you’re supposed to like him, so you find someone else to project your confusion and insecurity onto! You’re not “fickle”, you’re just a confused aromantic.

Kel wonders why “Lalasa never mentioned this”, and that’s pretty obvious. Lalasa is canonically in a relationship with her friend Tian...this girl is a lesbian.

“Who falls in and out of love in a summer?”

Probably someone who was never in love in the first place, Kel. This quote comes the next time that Kel sees Neal, and she realizes her romantic feelings are gone like they never were there in the first place.

“Were her feelings even real?”

Ding ding! Now you’re starting to get it!

Cleon is ridiculously awkward around Kel, and she is just as ridiculously oblivious of his feelings and exasperated by his flirting. (Relatable.) When he kisses her for the first time, she’s so shocked that she doesn’t know how to react which is a mood.

“They won’t be able to talk sense for weeks!”

When Yuki comes to Tortall, Kel makes fun of all the pages and squires for “falling in love” with her. She thinks “her messmates were romantic” in a way that totally excludes herself from that line of thought, because obviously she’s not romantic! That would be ridiculous!

“She hadn’t seen Cleon privately since that astonishing kiss. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to see him or never to see him again. She didn’t know which would be worse, finding that he’d done it on a dare or that he’d done it because he wanted to. Either meant a rat’s nest of problems.”

She liked the kiss, so we know she likes kissing, but that does not mean she isn’t aro. She doesn’t really want to like Cleon romantically. Unlike with Neal and Dom, she isn’t tricking herself into feeling something for Cleon; his feelings surprised her. “A rat’s nest of problems” is true not only politically, but also very much personally.

Tamora Pierce has also called Kel asexual at different times; this post is about her being aro, but there was one little ace thing I wanted to mention. When Kel meets George Cooper, she cannot figure out why Alanna is attracted to him; she only finds his eyes attractive. Kel is struggling to find anything attractive about him, and when has she ever before focused on the physical side of things when she’s forcing herself into liking someone? It isn’t something she even considers.

“Nice eyes hardly seemed to Kel like grounds for marriage.”

Yeah, well, for you it would be hard to find anything that would be grounds for marriage!

When Kel and Cleon (finally) talk about their first kiss, Cleon is trying to convince her that they should be in a relationship and Kel says something along the lines of “If people knew, they might not know it was friendly” and that’s literally the most aromantic thing I’ve ever heard. She is literally incapable of forming a reason why she would kiss someone outside of being friends. She likes kissing but doesn’t have romantic feelings.

In the same scene, she wants so badly to be interrupted by someone so she doesn’t have to deal with Cleon’s romantic advances. In the end they do get together, and some of this conversation was in jest, but Kel is truly terrified of romance and uncomfortable with her situation no matter how much she is genuinely fond of Cleon.

During the Progress, she talks to her mom about sex and Cleon. Her mom says, “you can choose if you want to have sex”, and Kel’s immediate response is “I don’t want to choose that!” Her reasoning is “I don’t want to be distracted”, “I just want my shield”, “I certainly don’t want babies” and if that ain’t the most aroace thing then I don’t know what is.

Shortly after this scene, Kel talks to Cleon, which goes something like this...

Cleon: Come down and let me hold you! Kel: No, you come up, and no holding.

Kel is terrified of sex but simultaneously struggling with her self-worth and wanting to be fuckable.

Once Kel and Cleon are officially together, their relationship is pretty romantic, which explains why I didn’t consider she could be aro at first. But even then, I see it as more that she enjoys Cleon’s company and the physical side of their relationship even though they never actually have sex. And the whole time, Cleon is so much more scared than Kel of the inevitable end of their relationship. Kel is much more practical and sees their relationship as doomed from the beginning.

Not related, but I love how Raoul and Buri’s relationship develops. They’re basically mutual beards and best friends. Buri’s such a lesbian, and Raoul is so aro!

When Kel first suggests that Raoul should ask Buri to go to his party with his aunt, she says that Buri “won’t get any romantic notions” which 1) shows how gay Buri is and 2) shows how Kel’s thought process about romance works.

This speaks for itself:

“She had decided years before that she was no prize on the romance market.”

There’s this lovely conversation while the Own is helping some town...

Kel: Why don’t people talk about hard work when it comes to war? All I hear about is glory. Dom: Pretty girls want to hear about glory, not work.

Kel wasn’t thinking about romance as a factor; she didn’t even consider it. While the Own is at Giantkiller, Kel completely forgets about her crush on Dom and it’s pretty much never brought up again.

Another gem of a quote:

“Kel thought asking her for wedding ideas was like asking a cat how to raise a horse, but she did her best.”

Kel and Cleon’s forbidden words are “love” and “marriage” and oh my god that is the most aro thing ever.

Lady Knight

There is so much less romance in this book! That’s great it in general, but it also really establishes Kel as aromantic because this is the book in which she becomes more sure of herself. She thinks about romance much less, which means there’s less things to specify how her reaction to romance proves her aro. I think it was at this point that Tamora Pierce decided that Kel wasn’t going to end up with a romantic partner at the end of her series.

On the way to the Scanran border, Neal and Roald are complaining about being separated from their fiancees, and Kel is so exasperated with them. She feels sorrier for Roald, but she approaches the whole subject with way too critical an eye to be alloromantic.

“She wanted love and children, too—someday.”

She thinks about Cleon, but it’s so distant. She’s imagining that she’ll feel different in the future, because that’s what’s supposed to happen to people, right? But she doesn’t really want love and children.

Kel’s thought of “romance was more pleasant than reality” proves that she doesn’t believe that finding romance is realistic. And as we know, Kel is practical above all.

“Friendship was there, but passion was gone.”

When Kel sees Cleon again after a few years of separation, everything she thought she had felt for him has disappeared.  And multiple times she feels bad about not loving him anymore; that’s textbook aro guilt. She emphasizes that “she could still be his friend even if she couldn’t be his lover.” She isn’t at all surprised that she doesn’t love Cleon anymore. She expected this, and she’s relieved that she was right.

“She wanted no lovers until she had settled the Nothing Man’s account.”

Kel will look for any excuse to not have to deal with romance, and everything that justifies her lack of love will do.

“Beyond kisses, Cleon was her friend.”

This proves that she always saw Cleon mostly as a friend, just a friend she also liked to kiss. To aro people things like that aren’t always cut and dry; she likes to kiss but to her kissing is not a romantic action.

She’s relieved that Cleon isn’t trying to keep things going, because it would hurt too much for both of them and because she didn’t want to have to keep faking romantic love. She’s upset about the end of their relationship because change is hard, not because she wants Cleon. She understands that now and talks to Tobe about it. I’m so proud of her!! She’s coming to terms with herself.

At Haven, Kel sees Dom again and remembers that she had a crush on him, but it’s a minor afterthought after a paragraph of her considering their friendship. When he leaves, she misses his friendship and support and doesn’t even think about romance.

And finally, the second to last paragraph in the whole series all but makes aro Kel explicit representation:

“Lovers, Kel thought, rolling her eyes. At least there was one headache she didn’t have. She was about to tell her friend [Neal] he could wait when she remembered that she’d get to see Dom at Steadfast. It would be nice to able to sit and chat for a while without kidnapping, flight, and war to distract them.”

Sure, that could (and has been) interpreted as Kel’s crush on Dom continuing to manifest, but to me it shows her value of friendship, especially as it immediately follows her declaration that lovers are a headache.

In conclusion, my point at the beginning still stands: this is not necessarily good representation. Kel’s story was written without authorial consideration of her aromanticism. But it is representation. And to me, a queer who grew up reading Kel and identifying more with her than with any of Tamora Pierce’s other heroines, even post-canonical, Word of God revelations of Kel being aro matters a lot. This is especially relevant because of the void that is aro rep—I can only name one or two canon aromantic characters from popular media, and Kel is one of them.

An aromantic lens is required to see Kel’s aromanticism, but it is there. It means something. And even though this post has been like two years in the making, Kel still means a lot to me.