#[[ whenever i think of kurosawa

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[twig-tea]

Ossan's Love Returns: I Love This Show

I have so many feelings about this finale; and they’re very different from my feelings about the Perfect Propose finale (both very good but in extremely different ways) so having experienced both today has been a real emotional journey! 

This episode left me feeing euphoric. I am not a huge crier, but Ossan’s Love always gets to me, and I cried four times during this finale. Then I rewatched and cried four times again. 

There is something about how this show does such a good job of capturing complicated and loving relationships of all kinds–romantic, platonic, familial, other–and making me believe that they will support one another through anything, even as they whack each other with frying pans and despair at their loved ones ever having two braincells function at the same time.

That exasperated, eyes wide open, no illusions about who you’re with kind of love has been in the series from the first season, but in this season it feels so lived in. The comfort that all of the characters have with one another, having all seen one another at their worst already, is palpable. And the way the original gang were so open to the new characters and their absurdities was so touching. 

There are so many things I love about this show. Haruta and Maki’s relationship makes me feel so proud of them, knowing how far they’ve come from Season 1, and everything they went through in that season and the film to get here. But even just taking the season as a stand-alone, there is so much growth this season. They go from a couple who have not been in the same city together for years to living together, and they have to learn to be in one another’s physical space. They have conversations with both sets of parents, they navigate whether or not to have a wedding, whether or not to have kids, and just how to show appreciation for one another in a long-term relationship. 

The way Maki said that Haruta was his happiness, and Haruta said that he was happiest just looking at the sky with Maki (because Maki is his happiness too) made me cry twice. Maki is so competent, but Haruta is kind; and it’s his consistent, active kindness that holds their wider found family group together. The way Maki had to learn to actively think about Haruta’s happiness in the same way was that Haruta does all the time, in the same way that Haruta had to learn to be competent in cooking and cleaning so that he could take some of the burden off Maki, this is the stuff that gets to me. 

The way this found family cares about one another, rallies around whenever one of them needs it, and shows up for one another consistently, also really gets to me. And this show knows exactly what it’s doing–there were some wonderful conversations this episode about what counts as ‘family’, and how sometimes the importance of someone in your life can’t be easily defined but that doesn’t make them any less important (that was another one of the times I cried). The final placard of the show read WE ARE FAMILY in sakura petals, and that’s what made me cry the fourth time (and is making me tear up now to think about). 

And I can’t think about this gang without thinking about how so many of the relationships in it are complicated, like I mentioned above. The way Maki and Kurosawa cannot be in a scene together without sniping, but Maki calls Kurosawa for help when he needs it and Kurosawa leaves Maki an extremely touching note acknowledging Maki’s importance in Haruta’s life. The way Maro and Haruta are friends but Haruta also chastizes Maro’s causal speech every time they talk. The way Chouko has found a detente with her mother-in-law by bonding over a boy band, and how Chizu relies on the Arais for childcare but feels ashamed that she has to. The way Takegawa wants a relationship so strongly but holds himself back from making a[nother] move on Maki so that Maki and Haruta can have a happy wedding day. The way Haruta can’t return Izumi’s feelings but he leaves room for him to feel them.The way Chouko and Izumi bond over having lost a long-held love. The way everyone thinks Kiku is super suspicious but they still eat his onigiri. The way Kurosawa gifts Kiku his fermentation pot in recognition of the both of them holding onto unrequited love. 

This show makes me so happy. I could keep explaining all the ways in which it brings me joy, but honestly, just go watch it. It’s on GagaOOLala right now, and @isaksbestpillow is working on improved subs for all episodes (the subs on Gaga are good enough to understand what's going on, but Siiiri's are better for understanding the nuances and jokes). You don’t need to have seen any of the previous content to enjoy this show. If you’ve ever lamented that BL isn’t funny; that BL doesn’t feature established relationships, that BL doesn’t have enough older characters; that JBL couples don’t kiss or show affection, then watch this show.

[bengiyo]

Ossan's Love Returns Ep 9 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, everyone sensed that something was up with Kurosawa, and so the squad rallied to host a home party to cheer him up. Kurosawa spent much of the episode working on saying goodbye, and even left instructions for Maki with some household tips before teaching him how to make his version of miso soup. He left goodbye videos that completely destroyed me, and his final scene in the park with Haruta brought me back to the In the Sky goodbye in ways I was not ready for. I don't want to mourn him, but I feel like I already am.

I can't drink those smoothies that just taste like grass.

NOT THIS GOOFY ASS MAN MISHEARING THE DOCTOR AND JUST WALKING OUT OF THE HOSPITAL!!

He kicked the doctor!!!

All this drama over red food!?!

Oh lord his home sold. Where is he going to go??

I hope the entire cast comes to visit him a little bit at a time. This is great.

"Give me back my tears, geezer!" Yes, Maki! Fight him again!!!

I'm with Haruta. I think about my parents getting older. I've been making slow preparations for the future.

Good job, Chizu. I'm glad you're still here to keep Haruta from spinning out.

Oh, thank you for the shower scene. Tanaka Kei has a great body.

Natflax real estate???? I'm gonna lose it.

This recruiter looks familiar. I'm going to need to look them up later.

STYLER JIBS!!!!!!!!!

Oh no Haruta is having nightmares now.

Whoa, is that Tabasco hot sauce???

I really do love the way Kurosawa and Maki moments have evolved over time.

I love that the whole crew is here for a surprise party, and glad Kurosawa is back to tormenting Maki.

Haruta bursting into tears whenever he feels too much love is one of my favorite things about him. He always appreciates every earnest gesture from Maki.

This is beautiful. I would love to be surrounded by all the people I love telling me all the things I did that made them feel supported and appreciated.

Takegawa got a cat! That feels so correct.

This whole sequence is incredible. It's an ongoing group hug, a party, and a talent show.

Maika is always eavesdropping and she is correct. Not all queer relationships need names that fit neatly into other expectations.

It does feel like a family photo. I have quite a few with my wider digital families.

Wow, the cherry blossoms scene was beautiful. I really appreciate how explicit this season has been about the complex nature of family and that finding community and joy in it is possible in any number of configurations.

Maro is such a dude I love him. He would absolutely get into a fandom just to be closer to his mom and wife.

Kiku and Izumi made it! Can't believe that they've grown on me a little bit.

Teppei, Chizu, and Maika having dinner with their kids as Teppei sings another song is perfect for them.

Maki stay trying to slam the door on Kurosawa.

Another almost brawl!!

"WE ARE FAMILY!!" I got all my sisters with me!! Okay, I cried.

Final Verdict: 9, Highly Recommended. I think, even if you bounced off or didn't watch Ossan's Love (2018), you should absolutely check this show out. There's so much to be had in this show about adults navigating what they want for their lives as they try to take care of the people they love. Maki and Haruta figuring out what their romance is going to Iook like when it's not just an idea landed so well for me. I like that Maki is still able to be a little bit terse or reserved, but he's finally able to say clearly to Haruta how important he is to him and he's also better able to be around others. Izumi is right that Haruta is this beacon of love that others seem inevitably drawn to. Kurosawa is such a huge presence, and he reminds me of some of my favorite gay elders. I hope to be as powerful and loved as him when I get older. I'm so glad I went back and watched Ossan's Love properly. I can't believe I denied myself this incredible experience for years.

[timotey]

4 episodes in and, hand to heart, I can say that I like the Thai version of Cherry Magic so much more than the Japanese one. That one was cute but also very short and except for Adachi, Kurosawa and Fujisaki I didn't like anyone there, especially the secondary pairing jarred for me.

But the Thai version seems to have so much more heart. I've always adored TayNew - not for nothing have I written almost 40 fics for PeteKao who are one of my top BL pairings ever! - and they really did not disappoint here. Newwiee has such a beautiful smile and the way he smiles whenever Achi hears Karan thinking something cute steals my heart.

This moment...

made me laugh because I thought, is art imitating life? Newwiee is namely known for his ability to fall asleep anywhere, at the drop of a hat.

And this moment...

... reminded me of Tay's response in a recent interview, where he said that he and Newwiee were so happy to star in a drama together again even though they still felt shy in romantic scenes.

Which I find rather funny considering that they're usually all over each other in RL, like, Mook mentioned that they always book a room apart from others when they travel as a group, they usually push their beds together in a hotel room - Tay takes pics everywhere, not realizing (or caring) that you can see a lot in them... So the fact that they're still shy when they film romantic scenes together? Cute!

The drama simply gives me warm fuzzies and I love the way it incorporates Thai culture.

[nova-lightz]

So, y'know how I was the one who made this post.

I got another silly little idea... UNDIAGNOSED ADHD KUROSAWA!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Now, this idea doesn't have as much "evidence" I can use from Cherry Magic's canon in both the drama and manga compared to Adachi being potentially autistic, but ADHD!Kurosawa gives me a giggle and I think it works wonderfully. Yes, this is me projecting about how amazing my relationships between myself and other ADHD-havers, have been.

If y'all want some "evidence", Kurosawa's thoughts are SO FUCKING BIG/LOUD in his head that they're often the biggest monolog text on pages and SO FUCKING LONG that the monolog text leaves their boxes. Oh yeah, his thoughts also OVERLAP each other. His brain is running a million miles per second every day. That can be seen here.

Another thing Kurosawa shows is poor short-term memory retention. It often happens whenever he's talking with Adachi despite trying his best to pay attention to the love of his life.

This next bit isn't very strong, but I think it's worth mentioning. Kurosawa takes pictures and videos often.

Obviously, it's very typical for one or all people in a committed relationship to take pictures/videos of their partners. Still, the idea of Kurosawa relying on those pictures/videos as memory aids because he can't stop forgetting things so quickly, makes my ND heart feel all warm and fuzzy!

Again, there's not a lot to go off of from canon, but there's a lot of potential in what people can use as branching points for their own headcanons about how Kurosawa with ADHD could possibly act like. If anyone knows about other details from canon sources I missed that could serve as more "evidence" for this headcanon, I'd love to know!

[dongpound]

I need a spin-off about the ordinary everyday lives of all of Foot and Karai on the ship

I do like thinking about their day to day :') this def is just a lot of word vomit and I go on a tangent abt their favorite movies figndlgndl but I think about life on the ship a bit

Tigerclaw is usually in the main command room with Honeycutt, Karai will usually dip in for a second to bug him before either 1) snagging the TV from Chris/Zeck/Steranko/Whoevers on it atm or 2) she does spend a lot of time in the holoroom. Steranko and Zeck (if they aren't watching TV) hang out in their room. Baxter is usually holed up in his bedroom or utilizing Honeycutt's lab. He’s built himself an emulator game system and uses Honeycutt’s media library to play TONS of video games. Chris trains, or sleeps, or watches TV.

Y'know I haven't really put a ton of thought into what *Xever* does in his off time. Like yeah, he probably uses the holoroom to train (*coughs*visits the beach*coughs*) like everyone else- but I feel like given they have a vast library of Earth media at their disposal he starts to actually get into movies and TV shows. I always headcanoned him as like... not super into either just bc it wasn't something he was raised with/stayed caught up on? So he probably sticks around whenever someone puts on a show just to see what’s up

anyway now you're getting the movie night headcanons

okay so EVERYONE watches SO much TV on that ship. Right now as a group they're working through different 90's sitcoms. It’s like, one of the only times they can all gather and not fight. They all have varying tastes in movies too.

TC makes like a movie night schedule and whoevers night it is gets to pick what they watch.

Steranko leans more into classic movies from like the 50's onward or comedies

Zeck's really into heist movies but also like 80's sci-fi (LOVES shit like Bladerunner, Tron (obvi), Videodrone)

Tigerclaw usually picks either a spaghetti western or a Kurosawa movie

Chris actually also *really* likes Kurosawa movies but he'll usually pick his own material (NO ONE LIKES CHRIS'S NIGHT FOR THIS REASON except Steranko who actually likes his movies)

Karai's actually really into horror films (so far has made everyone watch Tokyo Gore Police and Alien)

Baxter almost never participates in movie nights but when he does its something like Jurassic Park or Avatar (aliens, genetic modification, sci-fi aligned)

Xever spends like an hour figuring out what to watch until he eventually just settles on a random movie that looks interesting. This is how everyone on that ship has watched Surf’s Up

Honeycutt usually doesn’t pick a movie, but will watch with everyone :>

(Thanks @loco-warehouse for helping w Baxter’s movies fkgbldfnldfjdln)

[world0fmadness]

Please I need to tell someone about this😭I finally got to play RE4 remake and-OMG LEON KENNEDY THAT MAN

Whenever he appears on my screen I feel like a victorian man seeing ankles😭Not even a guillotine could prevent the head id give him

Anyway hiiiii how are you doing?I hope youre doing well!Eat something tasty and drink lots of water💗💗

-🫧✨️Leon makes Dreamcast anon feel thirsty

awhhh, well first of all congratulations on finally being able to play it, dreamcast anon! it is a damn good game, huh? i hope you’re enjoying it and i would certainly recommend checking out the separate ways dlc too because well, more ada content and who doesn’t love more ada content? she is so beautiful and so kickass ^w^

leon is most certainly a very pretty boy, he is definitely a sight for sore eyes… he was a cutie pie in resident evil 2 but he looks beyond hot in resident evil 4… resident evil 2 leon is absolutely a cute little submissive boy whilst resident evil 4 leon is a major switch man!

honestly i think so many characters in survival horror games are attractive though and it almost seems unfair because how fucking dare they go through so much insane shit and still look so good! leon kennedy, james sunderland, claire redfield, ethan winters, mia winters, heather mason, ada wong, yuri kozukata, miu hinasaki, hisoka kurosawa, josh washington, emily davis, sam giddings are just to name a very slim few… people in horror games are just always guaranteed to be hot :(

getting all hot and bothered when you see an attractive character appear on screen is certainly a familiar feeling for me too, dreamcast anon! shit, it goes double for me because i fawn over both men and women…

second of all, thank you for asking that! i’m doing pretty good, my tooth extraction date has finally been scheduled for the second of december so not as soon as i would like but it was all they had so you know… thankfully my pain has lessened a whole lot and is much more bearable thanks to my antibiotics and codeine tablets so i’m not in all that much pain anymore! other than that i’ve been doing my usual of playing some games, listening to music and getting a bit of writing done whenever i can! i will most certainly drink some water and eat something sweet so long as you do the same, honey… seems you’ll definitely be needing a drink anyways considering just how thirsty you are, dreamcast anon hehe <3

[kusanagihaku]

putting this out into the world bc if I say it enough it might manifest but if tkdb ever gets a live action:

snow man’s iwamoto hikaru as alan

imp’s sato arata as subaru

hey say jump’s yamada ryosuke as leo

sxz’s nakajima kento as rui

pictures pictures pictures

1. iwamoto hikaru as alan mido

- just a block of pure muscle

- acted as a bodyguard & a firefighter once & did his own stunts idk I feel like he’d do the takeru scene pretty well

2. sato arata as kagami subaru

- pretty™️

- also started out in kabuki

- has the same mole I think it’s fate

3. yamada ryosuke as kurosawa leo

- looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kill u

- idk what else to tell u his name is also leo & he livestreams whenever he’s not busy being an actor/idol

4. nakajima kento as mizuki rui

- will flirt w anything that moves

- also incredibly babygirl

- if anyone in tkdb has the catch phrase “sexy thank you” it’d be rui

[teddybeartoji]

AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! no you get it dune 2 wasn’t as good as the first one i think sequels rarely live up to the first one!! omg my favorites change alll the time and that includes directors LOL but my current favorite one is satoshi kon!!! he made my all time favorite movie paprika!!! he’s also the director of perfect blue ! im sure you’ve heard of it :3 i sooo so so recommend his movies like millennium actress or paranoia agent or!! of course paprika!! the music in that movie is soooo good! i also really enjoy akira kurosawa’s, tim burton’s, wes anderson’s and of course kubrick’s movies im trying sooooo hard not to fangirl too much i cannot be too much of a nerd LOLOL glasses slipping off my nose doing the um ackshually pose whenever i talk about movies

WHAT ABOUT YOU THOOOOUGH!!! who are your favorite directors

AHHH YOU ARE RIGHT ABT THE SEQUELS NOT MEASURING UP TO THE FIRST ONES but hhhhhhhh i did have pretty big expectations for it too smhhh.. i really did looooove the first one😔😔😔

OMGGGGGGG I HAVE HEARD ABT PERFECT BLUEE!!!!!!!!! i have to admit that i haven't seen it though please don't shoot me.. i'm adding paprika and the others to my watchlist rn too hehehe i'll remember those!!!!!!!!!! and i'll come screaming when i finally happen to watch them too bc we then have to Discuss them>:33333333 ALSO PLSSS NERD OUT WITH MEEEE I LOVE ITTT I WANNA HEAR ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! btw i recently saw wes anderson's isle of dogs at the cinema for the first time and i loved it soo so fucking much i think that actually might be one of my favourites of his now....

out of kubrick's stuff i think i've actually only seen the shining if i'm being honest here,, it's not like i'm not interested in the others i just have a tendency to rewatch a lot of things instead of going for smth new lmao i also love how we both seem to be Film Bros but like.. different types😭😭😭😭 I SAY THAT WITH LOVE BTW

i am a... david fincher film bro lmao fight club is literally my most watched film i love it so so much it's like a comfort film at this point idk don't get me wrong it's not my favourite of his though,, i think my top three would be 1. se7en 2. zodiac 3. the social network!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah i just love his works so fucking much they scratch my brain so fucking good..

AND THEN MY OTHER FAVOURITE DIRECTOR IS GUY RITCHIE!!!!!!!! this is such a silly one but i love him okay his sense of humor goes so well with mine,, snatch is one of my favourite films ever it's so good lmao aaaand i do love his later films too i think they're super fucking fun!!!!! the man from uncle has the best fucking score ever and idk i know a lot of ppl didn't like it it is one of my little guilty-not-so-guilty pleasures!!!!!!!!!!

and. continuing on with my film bro streak lmao i do like tarantino quite a lot ngl i absolutely adore inglorious basterds and django and kill bill and reservoir dogs and pulp fiction they're all just so fucking fun too

AAAAAAAAAAAND i also wanna add spielberg just bc i've been thinking abt indiana jones again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE-CHANGINGGGGGG i love the indiana jones films so fucking much i've loved them since i was a fucking child but they really are so so good they just don't make films like that anymore.... the lighting the blocking the acting the sweat the clothes the fact that indiana is a fucking loser and not some tough guy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa idk i could talk abt those films for forever i think..

[redxx95]

How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice

Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.

Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).

So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).

But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.

Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.

For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.

So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.

First one is the disaster-date in volume 4

Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.

The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.

Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.

Next is the argument they have in volume 8

Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.

The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.

The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.

And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:

He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.

So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.

I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.

So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.

There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.

So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)

So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?

... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨

So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)

Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.

(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)

Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.

Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.

Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)

So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.

Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".

He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.

So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.

(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)

Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:

He really knows him so well.

Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.

.

Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨

So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.

As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.

I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.

A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)

This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖

Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.

[symphonxx]

So, in the midst of scrolling through tiktok nd waiting for kubosai content, i stumbled upon sumn I should’ve watched back during quarantine.

Cherry Magic. ( or Cherry Magic! 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい )

It never occurred to me that i should watch it until two days ago, when a video a close friend of mine reposted came up. Despite having told myself that i might watch it back in 2020 when it came out, i never actually got to watching it but now that i did, I want to say that, its a fkin masterpiece.

Adachi nd Kurosawa have such a lovely relationship, that doesn’t necessarily revolve around sex ( something that i try to put off from most BL’s ppl around me have introduced ). The side characters are all well written and really memorable despite the little scenes they have with the main protagonists.

My favourites are definitely Adachi, Kurosawa, Rokkaku and Fujisaki! They’re all so sweet to each other nd their dynamic makes it more or less sweeter!! The way they ( Adachi nd Kurosawa ) inspire both Fujisaki and Rokkaku in their own ways. But despite the little ( i mean, does it count as little?? They do have alot of screentime together??? ) scenes they have, they do make their scenes worthwhile to watch and man they are js so adorable everytime they come up 😭😭

Adachi and Kurosawa on the other hand, are rlly rlly cute. Their relationship makes me crumble and fold.

Kurosawa is such a green flag. The way he wants to hold and kiss Adachi but holds back from his urges bcs he cares more abt Adachi than his own urges. Sure its basic human decency but seeing it actually being well-portrayed in a BL show ( not that I rarely see it, its more of most Japanese shows being weird nd stuff ykwim? ) makes it so much more refreshing to watch. Also the way he cares so so much abt Adachi? He could sense if Adachi is more gloomier, picks up on the lil quirks Adachi has, makes sure Adachi is smiling most of the time bcs he enjoys seeing him happy more than he enjoys seeing him being upset etc etc. It’s js so heartwarming and Kurosawa doesnt even have mind reading powers to do that. He supports Adachi all the way, even spending days trying to help Adachi perfect his presentation skills nd stuff nd js ughhhhh-

Adachi, is incredibly cute as well, his little bedhead, the funny monologues he does in his head, his existential crisis’ everytime he hears Kurosawa’s thoughts, the amount of “ Ehs “ he says and the way he thinks so lowly of himself makes his character relatable and endearing. He gets so excited about the thought of being popular or being an inspiration but immediately turns the idea down due to some unforeseen circumstances or js bcs of his thoughts. He sees himself as a normal boring person, doing normal boring things in his life. Hell, even we see that Kurosawa thought of him that way too before he fell for him. Everyday is the same for him etc, at one point when Urabe-san, his senior, suggests dating Fujisaki-san, he instantly turns down the idea. Even after thinking abt it, he turns it down bcs he thinks it would be impossible ( to an extent ).

But despite all that, Kurosawa and the others genuinely think of him as an incredibly hardworking, reliable and kind colleague to have around their work place. Even though he used to pick things up through his mind reading powers, he does show that, even without it, hes still as kind and reliable.

The show is so amazing and im planning to watch the others ( eg. the movie, the manga, the anime?? ) because i just cant get enough of them!!

Also i cant do reviews for the life of me so this would be the longest you get out of me yet. I usually attempt to ramble a whole abt my fav shows or anything but whenever i try, my brain melts or get all woozy at the thought of them bcs I JUST LOVE THEM SO SO MUCHHHH !!!!

Anyways, I’ll do another Kubosai post soon.

[fruit-of-infidelity]

Share 5 particular habits your muse has!

Thank you so much for the tags: @kindan-no-kanojo & @spookylady07 ! I'll tag: @kurosawa-family , @mukami-kuron-mrsadisticcat , @mukami-kou-dazzlingpinkidol

　✒︎ Playing with his hair.

Ryuuto has a veeery bad habit of touching, twirling, and fidgeting with his hair when he is concentrating or intently focused on something he is doing. It tends to tickle his neck in the worst way possible whenever he is hunched over doing school-work or whenever he is contemplating his artworks. If he has a spare hand free, you might notice him flicking and playing with it subconsciously.

　✒︎ Chewing on the end of his paintbrushes (and pencils).

Similar to the above habit, he tends to chew at the end of his paintbrushes and pencils when intently focused (there seems to be a running trend lol). I think I've mentioned this point about him before, but nevertheless, you'll find the ends of his paintbrushes in his studio littered with tiny fang marks. Unlike his hair-habit, he is fully aware that he does this (as there is physical evidence) and is deeply annoyed that he cannot get it under control.

　✒︎ Sighing.

Blame Richter for this one lol. Richter is melancholic at the best of times, often sighing here and there to release his own sadness and stress... Something which has rubbed off onto Ryuuto over the years. Whether it is overly dramatic sighs (which are few and far between and definitely intentional), or tiny ones that go unnoticed by even him, Ryuuto's sighing has become one hell of a habit.

　✒︎ Talking to himself.

Bro is in an otome universe, this is a habit for them all. Characters have conversations that should be kept to themselves aloud ALL the time. Whether it is monologuing like he's in a Shakespearian play (cough cough Laito cough cough), or whether it is oddly helpful comments on lore that the reader and Yui should definitely not be let in on, Ryuuto talks to himself quite often... And nothing is gonna stop him lol.

　✒︎ Saying "good grief" way too much.

This goes for Reiji as well, lol. Those two are the WORST for it, constantly tut-ing, and saying "good grief" after every little thing that irritates or baffles them. I'm not too sure if he's overly aware of this, but he is definitely conscious of how he is being perceived, so he probably does make quite an effort to say it more often than he should, to seem a little more "refined" and "well-bred" lol.

[seikatsu-ga-tsuzuku]

Hi, I really love reading your blog, thanks for sharing your posts. Even if I'm not the one who asked your otps, do you mind if I asked why you love those couples (your otps)? You can pick at least 3 couples, if you want to write the reasons.....

Sorry if I ask too much, feel free to just ignore my ask. Also sorry again if I send this ask twice....

I don't think anyone has ever said they like reading my blog, so somehow this makes me happy. I get little traction on my posts so most of the time I'm thinking I'm just talking to myself on here.

I don't believe you've sent this ask multiple times, but if you have, I guess tumblr ate it because I don't see it in my inbox. But sure, I'll try to answer succinctly because when it comes to ships I can ramble for years (ask my best friend). I am assuming you're referring to the post I did the other week about my top 10 ships of all time, so I'll pick 3 of those to explain.

So first up, Adachi and Kurosawa from Cherry Magic. They are so refreshing. I don't know how to explain it. First of all, I appreciate the gentle kindness of Kurosawa as the pursuer/top which I feel like is something you don't see often in BL. There's always the looming threat of noncon/dubcon which is nowhere to be found in Cherry Magic thankfully. His love for Adachi starts off much like a schoolgirl crush, and quickly morphs into an adoration and admiration of Adachi as a person as they get to know each other better. It's interesting to watch how Adachi's feelings develop for Kurosawa as well. He thinks carefully about what Kurosawa means to him, and in what ways he wants to be with him. He's considerate of Kurosawa's feelings even before the love is mutual. Their love for each other is very pure, sweet, and wholesome, and the slowburn from coworkers to friends to lovers is just perfect. They definitely give me a toothache, and their relationship is something that I would like for myself. I also hope to write a love story as good as theirs someday. I could go on but I'll spare thee. Next is Kotetsu and Barnaby from Tiger & Bunny. Now, I know they are not canon, but they are as close to canon as a couple can get without being canon, if you know what I mean. Their relationship starts off spiky, but their growth as people because of the development of their relationship is one of my favorite things about them. They become better people because of each other, especially Barnaby. They teach each other a lot, learn to work together and care about each other, even during the times when Barnaby is resistant to this change in him. Barnaby's attitude eventually changes from snooty, prickly, and isolated to soft and trusting of Kotetsu. They don't only maintain a good relationship for work reasons, but outside of that obligation too, working on their friendship and truly becoming family (in season 2 you can literally see a photo of Kotetsu, Barnaby, and Kaede together in one of their apartments', I forget whose, but my gut is telling me Barnaby's). The scenes in season 2 when Kotetsu just wanted to go out for a drink with Barnaby but some shit kept coming up so they couldn't. And the episode when Kotetsu wanted to do something nice for Barnaby's birthday. Kotetsu's determination to get along with him just makes my heart ache, I dunno. And whenever the other's life or health is in even the slightest of danger, they launch into panicking worry mode for each other. Also I can't overlook the occasional flirting. It just genuinely feels like watching two people interact that don't realize they're in love with each other.

Last lemme talk about Ryuji and Akira from Persona 5 because I never get to talk about my feelings for them. Now I know there is another more popular BL couple in P5 that shan't be named here, but let me explain why I prefer AkiRyu. I like the premise that Akira and Ryuji's relationship starts on and is built up from; an almost immediate acceptance of each other and the ability to relate and empathize with one another's circumstances. Ryuji had become an outcast after the incident with Kamoshida and the track team, and Akira had become an outcast due to his criminal record, which rumors of had followed him to his new school. At the start of the story, they had nobody but each other. Ryuji took an immediate liking to Akira, and Akira also seemed to be content with Ryuji as his first friend at Shuujin. Despite having very different personalities, they had the same morals, the same sense of justice, similar problems to deal with. Now this can be said about Akira with the rest of the Phantom Thieves, yes, but I feel like Akira and Ryuji's dynamic is unique. Again he's Akira's first friend, and you can't deny this quickly escalates into Ryuji being his best friend out of all the Phantom Thieves. Ryuji often basically tells Akira this is how he feels about him as well, so it can't be denied or brushed off (although you can make Akira respond with the snarky and meaner dialogue options, the sentiment is still there. It's not in the same ways that you can be mean to Mishima or rude to Goro, for example). They have a bond that I don't feel is present with the other Phantom Thieves, after completing everyone's social links. Even the canon romance routes with the girls felt weak in comparison. I feel like AkiRyu is the prime example of the shounen-esque tendency to write two guy best friends so emotionally charged that it loops right back around to being gay by accident (see Ryuji's social link stage 9 or 10, I forget which. If you know, you know. The ramen restaurant conversation, yeah, that one. It was basically a declaration of love to me). Those are the vibes they give off to me.

I said this would be succinct but it wasn't. Thank you for your time 😭

[raspberrylix]

not to mush two of my favourite shows again, but... especially after yesterday's episode, whenever I think of kurosawa now, all I can hear is kaoru's "thirsty gorilla"

[cubedmango]

Tysm I will gladly offload my rambling to you free causeI've realised that we seem to be on the same level of incomprehensible affliction of the body due to cherry magicism😭🫂BUT NAINAAA OH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE SO RIGHT THAT HAD ME ON THE FLOOR and it also stood out to me as well and because you mean to tell me rokkaku was observant enough to realise something was off between the two of them but couldn't tell they were dating):&:£ like DUDE!

Especially thinking about the fact that he probably regularly catches kurosawa at adachi's desk and kurosawa gets a bit Antsy whenever he's too close to adachi like he's so funny to me l'll always wish we got to see a live action reaction to them walking in with matching rings before the wedding like it must have been so funny watching the moment it clicked for him (at ALSO WAIT. you know when they're hugging and kurosawa is like I've been watching you all this time, magic or not you're still you' + the montage of their moments playing in the back and how he loves him all the same and then he laughed and was like 'you've been reading my mind so you should know anyway right?' I had to pause for a solid 6 minutes and just scream into my blanket because What The Fuck.

cm has bewitched our minds and souls now we share the same wavelength of undecipherable brainrot . peak method of communication honestly whats better than going RRGRAHAGAHG over the blorbos together

rokkakus literally the character of all time like he saw 1) kurosawa taking extra time from his already busy schedule to help adachi 2) krdc spending a lot of time alone even outside the office 3) them coming to work together that one time (and then everyday after they started living together) 4) them being off for those four days 5) kurosawa immediately taking a leave after finding out abt adachis accident and being gone for days 6) them both coming back one day w matching rings . in my head he still didnt piece anything together until they gave him a wedding invite and even Then he went "omg ur both having ur separate marriages on the same day wow u guys are such besties" until krdc have to tell him "No Listen We're Marrying Each Other" at which point rokkaku bluescreens and flashes through his entire mental directory of krdc observation notes for 5 hours straight rethinking everything in complete silence

[aylinaliens]

hello :) i saw your post where you said that tinn reminds you of sarawat (among other emotionally repressed queer male leads) and wow great minds must think alike as i made a similar post to that a few days ago! wat is still on my list of top bl boys and i’m sure that by the end of the series tinn will be as well. as you said, guys like him pine from afar and are more than pleased with just that as long as they get to keep this person in their life, no matter what form that takes in the end. they wear this mask of apathy, and at times hostility, all in order to hide what the other person means to them and the lengths they’re willing to go for their happiness, regardless of whether they know of their efforts or if it’s at the expense of themself. anyways, i’m glad that others seem to be enjoying this silly little show as much as i am!

hello!! within the first few minutes of msp i was hit with this nostalgic feeling—something about tinn felt so familiar, so instantaneously endearing. it’s because he reminds me so much of my fav emotionally repressed queer leads. except he’s not a carbon copy of them if that makes sense? he has his own flavor and personality while still maintaining what we saw sarawat/kurosawa/lwj/etc. go through.

the pining and yearning and wishful hope that maybe one day they would look at you and actually see that you have been standing there this whole time with your heart and soul bared. but…well…that’s scary. whether it be rejection, low self-esteem, or simply just the acknowledgement that it’s better to keep that mask in place…there is something holding them back. the one thing i love about dynamics like this is that the emotionally repressed one is going to have that big italicized Oh moment where they maybe get this burst of bravery to fight for what they want.

i think it’s neat that going into msp i had zero expectations. i was hoping for something silly and fun to balance out the heavy stuff i was rewatching. i didn’t think i would be this enamored or sucked in. although i don’t *love* 2gether like i used to anymore too, wat is still a character that i hold near to my heart (and tine!!).

tinn is just that type of self-sacrificial character who just wants the person he likes to be happy. sure, he sort of messes around and teases gun but it’s never malicious or cruel. it seems like tinn is actually amused that he can get gun riled up. there’s never any ill intention behind what he does, in fact the poor lovesick fool was so earnest asking people to vote for gun’s band. he did the totally innocent thing of doodling his crush!! he takes satisfaction in hearing gun refer to himself with tinn’s last name. tinn just…he has a lot of strong feelings and he might not know what to do with them outwardly whenever he’s around gun but he sure knows what to do behind the scenes.

anyways. thank you for sending this! i’m glad that other people are enjoying this silly little show too. i have a lot of feelings about it already which is wild considering there is only 1 episode out. i can’t wait to watch tinngun grow as characters and learn their backstory! i cannot wait until episode two comes out tomorrow 🥰