#[ so I’ve come to pray to y’all to save me ]

[spiderwarden]

Astarion rpers save me, fandom and larian treatment is making me hate your boy outside of rp.

[fantasyandshit]

Tea time

Type:one shot

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Summary: Yn sees a new kind of tea while shopping at one of her favorite shops, come to find out it’s a strong form of aphrodisiac, reverting the drinkers to ‘their most primal instincts’. Not believing it she decides to make it for her and her mate as a joke.

(A/n, this is my first go at smut. I’m so sorry if it sucks. Also sorry I haven’t posted in forever, I had like zero ideas- this why I need y’all to help me, I can’t make decisions for myself. Anyway on too the Oneshot)

Azriel is out on yet another spymaster mission, so to kill a bit of time, I stroll through the isle of my favorite tea shop in Velaris, Trixies tea time shop. As I’m looking through the different teas I spot a box I’ve never seen before, it’s red and black, with a heart on the front, looking at the description to see what it tastes like I see something…interesting.

This is a drink to give you and your partner a once in a lifetime experience. The natural roots in this drink revert one to their most natural state, all while tasting like sweet and sour cherry.

I inspect the box for a few more moments before ultimately deciding to take it. My poor Az has been so stressed lately, maybe this could help him unwind and lead to a night of fun for the both of us, also wever tried nearly every method to get me pregnant as we desperately want a little one of our own. Besides what’s the harm if it’s simply a hoax. Taking the three new times I’ve grabbed to the desk, the woman-Trixie who I’ve made friends with smiles as she looks at the red and black box.

“So you’ve got plans for tonight?” She teases softly as she tells me my total. I roll my eyes before thanking her and walking back home.

———

“Hey Az baby?”

“Yes love?”

“I’ve made some tea for us.” I smile softly as I set it on the coffee table in front of where he sits reading on the couch.

“Thank you sweetheart.” One of his rare smiles save for me graces his lips as he kisses my head softly before picking up the glass and bringing it to his lips. “Hmm, this is new? What is it”

“Oh just a new one at Trixies I saw, figured we could give it a try.” I bring my own glass to my lips and we both simply sit in each others presence until we’re done and take them to the kitchen.

I lay with my head in Az’s chest moments later, his hand absently running through my hair as he continues his book. “Is it hot in here?” He asks out of the blue, pulling at the color of his shirt.

“Yeah, yeah I suppose a bit.” My eyebrows scrunched as I just now noticed the sweat dripping from his forehead and my own dripping down my back. I sit up as he continues clawing at his shirt. As he peals it off with a grunt more arousal then I thought I’d ever had sweeps through me like a wave.

As my mate turns to me I hear him audibly growl before he opens his mouth and I see his canines sharpening and his eyes darkening. “What-“ another grunt, “-what was in that tea?” His voice seems deeper and by the mother I’ve never thought this male could be this attractive.

“I-it said its to bring us to our most primal instincts-I didn’t think-I thought it was a hoax.” I’m panting as all I can think about is the man in front of me turning me into his bitch, filling my womb with his seed and giving me his babies.

“I think-I don’t think it’s a hoax love.” The last word growls and an involuntary moan leaves my lips as a smirk graces his features. “I don’t think-gods you don’t know how badly I want to put you on all fours and make you my bitch, get you nice and round with my babies. How much I want to fill your womb as you beg me to stop.”

I crawl to the male like a bitch in heat. “Do it Az. Make me your bitch.” I’ve never sounded more desperate or horny in my life as something flickers in my mates eyes and he lunges for me with a growl like a predator to pray, his hand landing on my throat as the other wonders my body.

“I’m gonna make you my bitch, gonna have you begging for my babies. Do you want my babies? Want to be big and round for me?” I nod breathlessly as his hand squeezes the supple skin of my thigh. “Words baby.” His hand squeezes my neck, just enough to have me struggling slightly for air.

“Y-yes sir. Please, fill me with your babies, get me nice and round.” Just like that the weight of his body is gone and all I can do is whine, my body feeling almost heavy.

“Take off your clothes and get on all fours.” He grunts as he takes his painfully hard cock from the restraints of his pants, that’s when I notice it, a swelling knot at the base of his dick. I make quick work of slipping from my restraining clothing and getting on all fours, my Butt slightly raised and pointed towards the male. “Good girl. Such a good girl for me.” His face goes to my neck as he rubs my back and thighs.

A yelp leaves me as he sniffs my pulse point before biting down. Hard. Just as he does this his hand shimmies to my clit, rubbing softly before delving to my folds, spreading the soaked lips and feeling around them as I moan uncontrollably. He takes his fingers and brings them to my lips, “open.” I immediately obey and he sticks them in my mouth, I moan at the taste of myself on tongue as I suck his fingers like a whore. “Now here’s what’s gonna happen, I’m gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk, I’m gonna fill you with my seed and make sure you know who owns you.”

“Yes sir.”

“Say it again.”

“Sir.”

A throaty moan leaves my mate just before he pushes into my slick folds and my head falls back in pure ecstasy.

Azriel pounds into me, his lips assaulting my neck as moans and grunts leave us both, at this point he’s fucked me in nearly every position, his cum dripping down my thighs as he pushed in again and again from behind me where I lay on my stomach. Bite marks litter both our skins, particularly near our pulse points where a delicious scent I’ve never smelt before radiates from him. “Gonna, gonna cum baby.” He sighs as he furiously drags himself in and out of my tight pussy, a ring of cream at the base of his knot. His words finish off my building orgasm as I cum hard enough to see stars. Azriel lets out one last chesty moan before his knots slips into me and I get dizzy, never have I been this full as he paints my wall with yet another load.

My mate falls to his side, me going with him seeing as we’re attached, however I don’t think I would be able to move on my own without him anyway. Az pulls me tight to his chest, nuzzling his face in my neck softly as he slowly falls asleep, snores falling from his parted lips.

——————-

I know it sucks but I tried ok. Please give me ideas guys! My suggestion box is open and in need of some good ideas. Love y’all.

[vicsnook]

Close To You | Scott Miller x Reader

word count: 2381

warnings: Smut, 18+, unprotected p in v

notes: Hey y’all! It’s been awhile since I last posted that is not to say I haven’t seen y’alls love on my other fics and I want to thank you so so much for that 🫶🏼. Here’s a little something with my current fav, pardon any errors, I wanted to post this asap. Please don’t forget to like and reblog!!

My heart is beating a million miles an hour as I will the doors to the shelter to stay shut. Holding on to Scott like my life depends on it (and it does) as the tornado comes closer and closer. “We’ll be okay,” he shouts over the noise but I’ve never been this close to death and that terrifies me.

The doors shake violently and I screw my eyes shut, praying to anyone to spare our lives. Scott’s grip on me seemingly tightens as the tornado comes over the shelter, and then the silence sets in, it’s over.

Daring to open my eyes I look up at my teammate Scott who not only saved my life but the rest of the team’s by pulling us all into the shelter. His grip on me loosened as his blue eyes met mine and a small smile danced on his lips and for once, I allowed myself to feel.

I watched quietly as he went around and checked on everyone then directed us back out. The debris was way less than expected, still my company SUV did not make it out unscathed which meant I’d be riding with Scott for the foreseeable future.

-

The warm water of the motel’s shower was a blessing as I washed away the horrible day. My cheeks heated in guilt as I thought of Scott’s grip on me. Shaking my head, I finished off and went to bed but my dreams weren’t any better.

The knock on the door startled me awake and looking at my phone I noticed it was only 2AM. Slowly I make my way to the door, only allowing myself to let out a breath when I see it’s just Scott on the other side.

“Hey, sorry to wake you but the A/C is out in my room and it’s a million degrees. Can I sleep on your floor?” He asks, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes looking into mine waiting for my answer.

I feel my cheeks heat at the thought of sharing a room with him after the dream he woke me from in which he happened to be on top of me. Nevertheless, I step aside, and let him in, hoping he can’t see right through me.

“Um, Scott, you don’t have to sleep on the floor. The bed is big enough for both us and probably another person.” I say, looking at the floor, not wanting him to see how much I want him to say yes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I confirm, sliding onto my side and feeling the other side of the bed dip as he slides in after me. Thoughts are already running wild through my head as he places his arms behind his head and I notice the vein in his muscles popping.

“Well, goodnight!” I exclaim, as he catches me staring and he nods in response. Turning the other way I hope he can’t hear my heart race. Somehow soon after, I drift off to sleep.

-

Waking up the next morning, I’m initially startled as a pair of strong arms is holding me and then last night comes back to mind and it takes everything in me not to bolt up from the bed. Scott’s head is on top of mine and I can feel his muscular chest on my back. His leg is against- and I nearly yelp as I realize that’s not his leg against my ass.

I try to wriggle out from his hold as quietly as I can but fail miserably as he only pulls me closer. All I can hope is he can’t feel how wet I am as his bulge is now seated between my legs. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this has to be a dream.

But I know it’s not and at any moment Scott will wake up and our dynamic will change forever. Slowly, I work up the courage to move again, and this time, his arm moves up and I take the opportunity to get up and practically sprint to the bathroom.

The shower water is not cold enough to wash off the steamy thoughts going through my head as I picture Scott waking up and taking me right then and there. But thankfully I am interrupted by the knock on the bathroom door.

“Hey, thanks for letting me crash. I’m gonna go shower and I’ll see you at the diner.” He says, through the door and I yelp out you’re welcome as I wrap a towel around myself and start to get ready for the day.

-

I look up from my coffee mug as the bell above the door rings and see it’s not Scott coming in but rather his mortal enemy, Tyler Owens. He catches my eye and flashes me one of his knee weakening smiles as he heads my way and takes a seat on the booth across from me.

“Howdy, sugar. Whatcha doing all alone?” Tyler asks, grabbing my mug and taking a sip of my coffee. He’s lucky we’ve been friends since college or else I’d be kicking him in the shins right now.

“Just waiting on the rest of the team.” I reply, “Make yourself scarce before you upset Scott,” I add quickly, not wanting to make things awkward.

“I doubt I could make him upset. After all he was the one sprinting out of your room with a very visible boner this morning,” He replies, chuckling at my very red face. I am so screwed.

“Mind your business,” I hiss, snatching my mug back and downing the rest of my coffee. Tyler shakes his head at me still laughing but for once takes the hint and gets up, heading to the counter to order and speak of the devil, Scott walks in and I feel the air go out of the room.

His serious demeanor is back as he heads to me and I truly hope things are not awkward. He slides into the booth quietly, not making eye contact and I want the ground to open up and swallow me. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable this morning,” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Nothing happened, we’re fine.” I respond, a little too quickly for him to believe me but he offers nothing else and we eat in silence when the food comes.

-

The ride with Scott is silent except for when he asks a question about the radar or I give him directions which doesn’t help my thoughts whatsoever. After picking up the last radar, I notice he’s not heading the right direction back to the motel but given his cold attitude I don’t want to question him. That is until we pull into a hotel that is way nicer than the motel and I shoot him a confused look.

“I figured we deserve to stay somewhere with good working A/C. We can go pick up the bags after I get us some rooms.” He offers, getting out of the SUV before I can reply.

I stay put in the SUV since he didn’t signal me to follow like he does most times and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault we’re here. If only I hadn’t offered him my bed.

He comes back with a scowl on his face and slams his door shut. His hands gripping the steering wheel so hard, I can see the veins popping in his arms. And he looks so hot. Stop it!

He pulls out of the parking lot and starts back in the direction of the motel when I finally break the silence. “Everything okay?”

“Hotel’s booked up for a conference all weekend. Looks like I’m sleeping with no A/C tonight,” He rants, his hand coming to rest on my thigh as he hits the breaks when Tyler’s truck cuts him off. “God I hate that fucking hillbilly!”

“Scott, you can stay in my room. I’ll take the floor. ” I say, aware that his hand is still resting on my thigh.

“What kind of man do you think I am? We’ll just share the bed. I’m sorry,” He says, “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable again.”

“You didn’t,” I counter. Noticing as he pulls his hand off my thigh.

“Yeah right, you basically sprinted to the bathroom this morning.” He spats, putting the SUV in park and I notice we’re in the motel parking lot.

And suddenly I feel cornered. I can’t tell him the truth, he’ll just reject me and things will be even more awkward, I reason as I pull my door open and feel the breeze, immediately calming me down.

“Can we talk about this inside?” I ask, turning around to face Scott who still hasn’t gotten out of the SUV and he nods. My nerves are going insane as I feel him behind me on the stairs and I swear I feel his breath on my neck as I open my room door.

I take as long as possible to take off my boots and set down my stuff before I turn to face Scott who’s still standing by the door. Here goes nothing.

“I’m sorry that I reacted the way I did this morning. I thought it would make things less awkward if I wasn’t there when you woke up and saw what you were doing.” I say, letting out a shaky breath and looking away from Scott’s piercing blue eyes.

“Y/N, since when is cuddling a crime? I thought, well, I thought that’s what you wanted since you asked me to sleep on the bed.” He said, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair. Continuing when I didn’t offer an answer. “Javi told me you liked me and I just took a chance, I’m sorry if I overstepped your boundaries. I was wrong to assume.”

“You weren’t,” I whisper, looking up at him.

“What?”

“You were right. I do like you. I just didn’t think you felt the same,” I reply, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“I thought I’d made my feelings obvious this morning.” He replies, walking across the room and lifting my chin up to look at him and I see sincerity in his eyes.

And before I lose the courage, I’m closing the space between us, our lips moving perfectly in sync as we get to explore each other. His hands are traveling up and down my body and I tug on his hair. Please don’t let this be a dream.

He walks us back to the bed, only stopping his kisses to remove his shirt and I take the opportunity to gaze at the man in front of me. But I don’t get to do it for long because his mouth is back on mine and he’s placing me on the bed, carefully climbing on top of me.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks, pulling away and I feel like my heart might explode. “Yes,” I reply breathlessly, reaching for the bottom of my shirt and pulling it off and his mouth is on my neck before my bra reaches the floor.

We slowly strip each other, Scott traces every piece of my bare skin with his hands as the clothes come off and I shake in anticipation. He grunts when I tug at his hair as he kisses my neck.

I run my hands down his abs and it’s way better than any of my fantasies. I palm him through his boxers and he groans in my ear as I slide my hand under the waistband and pull his cock out, and he slides the boxers all the way off.

Slowly I run my hand up and down his length and take pleasure in the way his breath hitches and he closes his eyes. “I need to be inside you, honey” he grunts, stilling my hand and I nod, not trusting my words.

He looks down between us and guides himself to my entrance, slowly pushing in while still giving me time to adjust and I am grateful because he’s way bigger than anyone I’ve ever been with. “Y’okay, sweetheart?” he asks, and I pull his face down, kissing him in response as he bottoms out in me.

The slow pace Scott choses is almost criminal so I still him and immediately he looks at me with worry. “I want to ride you,” I say quietly and his smile lets me know I made the right choice. He tortures me by pulling out slowly but I’m quick to climb on top as soon as he is laying on his back.

His hands rest on my hips as he guides me down his length and I moan in pleasure. I hold on to his muscular shoulders and start to set a pace with him meeting me with rhythmic thrusts in response and it’s not long before I feel myself getting close to falling apart.

The room is filled with our moans and sweet nothings and I can’t help but smile as he pulls me closer to his chest and takes my nipple into his mouth while he pinches the other.

“F-fuck,” I moan and he lets go of my nipple, finding purchase on my neck and I almost lose it as he speeds up his thrusts.

“You feel so good baby,” he groans in my ear and I whine in response as I fall apart and he fucks me through my orgasm. My mind is blank with pleasure and I dig my nails onto his shoulders as I feel his thrusts get sloppier.

And then he comes, and my name has never sounded so beautiful until that moment when he’s uttering it over and over as he kisses everywhere on my face.

-

The warm water is exquisite as Scott scrubs my sore body slowly, trailing small kisses as he goes and I smile leaning onto him. His hands come to rest around my waist and he kisses my neck and my legs feel like jelly. “Take me to bed or lose me forever, Scotty.” I whisper, turning around to face him and he smiles before turning off the water and reaching for a towel. This is going to be a long long night.

[belli5]

hii i was wondering if i could request an aj fanfic where the reader and aj are friends and the reader is to go on a date with a guy but aj gets jealous to the point he confesses to the reader? thank you in advance, i already love your work so far! youre doing amazing ! :)

Hidden feelings — Aj Shabeel

Pairing: Aj Shabeel xfem!reader

Summary: reader trying to distract her feelings from Aj, going on a date with a guy, Aj getting jealous and confessing to her.

Contains: friends to lovers, jealousy, idk what else, you lmk 😭

A/n: thank you so much, I really appreciate it 🤭 also i fw Aj’s this curly hair so much. Btw like I said, I’m gonna write other people requests but maybe not today because I’m not home. So please please be patient!

Masterlist

I’ve been talking to this guy named Louis, i met him on instagram atleast 2 weeks ago, it wasn’t Aj, but it was something.

The guy was tall, he had curly hair, he was nice, he was everything you could want in a guy. But did you actually want something? You weren’t sure.

But when he asked you on a date, there wasn’t a reason to not accept the offer. 1st he was a nice, good looking guy, 2nd you’d gladly get to know someone new, distracting yourself from Aj.

Aj didn’t pay attention to you at all in a flirt way or more than a friend way, but still you both were really close.

The date was tonight, you were kinda excited, Aj was over your house and you didn’t tell him you had a date, but you had to tell him one way or another.

“Uh Aj?” You spoke, he was sitting on your couch scrolling through his phone. He looked at you “im going on a date with someone.”

“What?” He said, putting his phone away, because where did this all come from so suddenly? You didn’t tell him about anything. “With who?”

“A guy?!” You said in ‘duh’ tone, “i met him on instagram like two weeks ago.”

“And you’re gonna go out with a guy who you’ve just met?”

You didn’t understand if you were being delusional that he’s jealous or he’s actually worried about you going out with a random guy, well he wasn’t just a random guy..

“Aj, it’s not a big deal,” you hold yourself back from rolling your eyes “you can stay here and wait for me to come back.”

He just shook his head “Y/n, you can’t go out with a random guy..”

“No, im going and that’s it. Can you please help me choose what to wear?” You refused to lose another chance with a guy, just because he worries.

“Fine.” He just said, not only you had the audacity to cancel you plans with Aj tonight hanging out by a date, but you also asked him to help you choose your outfit.

You both went upstairs to your room and opening your closet, Aj looked at it, you had a lot of clothes but one that he liked was from white fox ‘settle for you pink ivy’

“Oo i like that one, it’s so cute.” You smiled at him and went into bathroom to get changed, he would lie if he didn’t choose that dress because he wanted to see you in it on y’all’s date.

You stepped out of the bathroom with the dress, going over where your jewellery was and picked out necklace and bracelets and putting on makeup.

I got a notification, I looked at my phone and saw unknown number “I’m here.” It must’ve been Louis, he gave me his number but I didn’t even bother saving it.

“I’m sorry Aj I had to tell you last minute about this.” You said feeling guilty for real, also feeling guilty of just leaving him like that.

“It’s fine I guess, you look beautiful..” he said shyly, at that you blushed, you hugged him and said you won’t be long.

He took you to a nice restaurant, the date was going good, he was such a gentleman, but not even this could keep Aj off your mind.

In fact trying to replace him, made you even want him more for some reason. He just wasn’t Aj, little did Louis knew that you prayed for the time to go faster so the date would be over and you could go back to your house and see Aj.

He kept asking you all kind of questions, like “how long have you been single?”

“Uhm, I’ve been single for a quite a while now,” you told him, “what about you?” You tried to keep yourself interested so he wouldn’t think that you’re bored, not that you aren’t..

“I’ve been single for 6 months.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for me?”

You finally both finished the date and now he was driving you home, when he drove infront of you house gate, he kissed your cheek to what you just smiled.

“Thank you, Loui, I really enjoyed my time with you.” Lies.

Unlocking your door, you went into your kitchen seeing Aj sitting on a chair again scrolling through his phone, “Hey, I’m back.”

“Hm, how did your little date go?” He asked, why is he acting like this?

“It was good I guess,” you lied again, it was Aj, you could tell him the truth.. “he took me to an restaurant nearby and when he dropped me home, he kissed my chee-“

“HE DID WHAT?” Aj stood up, “why would you let him..?”

“Even th-” he tried to tell him that you didn’t want to, but he cut you off again.

“Y/n, im so sick of hearing about you going on these dates with those guys,” he says, he doesn’t even let me talk “How do you not know that I’ve had a crush on you for years. If you weren’t so obsessed going out with other people-“

“Why didn’t you tell me, you like me?” Does he actually like you or he just doesn’t want to see you with someone else?

“I wonder why..” he says back, “this could get real messed up, I didn’t mean to say that.” He says walking away, not wanting to ruin the friendship.

“Wait, I like you too.”

“How can you like me, if you went out on a date?” He asks confused.

“I don’t even like him, the whole date I was thinking about you, and it was boring. And if you would’ve listened to me I was trying to say that I didn’t want him to kiss me.” You said rolling your eyes.

“Actually? Uhm..” he asks avoiding eye contact, “do you wanna go on a date with me then? I can take you to a better place than that guy Lewis..”

“His name is Louis and I’m sure you can. Of course I want to.” You laughed. You both went to sit on the couch, you found a photo of Kenny and Aj to post on your story so maybe that way Louis would leave you alone.

You quickly went to your room to change into comfortable clothes, when you walked back down Aj said “somebody texted you ‘delete my number’”

You were confused, “who?”

“I don’t know, it’s unknown.” He said, as you took your phone from him and opened it, you saw a message before “im here” you straight up knew it was Louis

“Oh it’s Louis,” you texted him back ‘Ima be real with you, it was never saved so ion even know who this is’ Aj saw your message, “you don’t have his phone number saved?”

“No, I couldn’t bother saving it.”

[bam-bi-buck]

8x07 SPOILERS

Ouch for Athena

So many loafs!

Maddie bringing in the universe! 👀

Detective Buck!!!!

Awww the hug is so sweet

“Is this Brad Torrance?”

“It is love! Send help!” Lmao

Oh dang

Him being concerned about getting the shot - goodness

“Hovering closer than my shadow?” That’s a fun saying, don’t think I’ve heard that one before

It’s Sargent, not ma’am

“Yes ma’am- I mean Sargent!” lol

Hen’s look when Buck is talking about wanting to text him - that stare piercing

The chief walking in while Eddie’s playing keep away with Buck’s phone

Booo “better start praying” grow a pair don’t tell a star they can snatch somebody from their job

Sparks feels off to me

“That’s real power” ew

Athena testing him like that, girl, don’t do that he’s gonna come after you I feel it

Athena also doesn’t like him! (Vindication!)

Hen and Athena besties!! I’ve missed them chatting

Bobby keeps getting hugs he doesn’t want 😭

“Twice in one week, what a blessing”

Omgod dude, Bobby’s married, leave him be

I don’t feel bad for Gerrard but I do feel uncomfortable watching him cry

Take that elsewhere dude, I don’t wanna see that

Telling my mom about the “he wants the cookie so f-ing bad meme” to explain the craziness of Brad’s obsession with Bobby

Sparks went “weee!”

Sparks dangling in the wind is such a funny sight

He almost went splat

“Don’t be a bitch, rob” reminds me of Grace telling the dude, “gods plan!”

Thanks for the assist, she saved your ass dude

Elaine listen to Athena! Dude has something wrong with him

200, 000k - me and my mom “DANG!”

Dude is such a sneak, why are you listening to peoples conversations creepy?

Love Maddie and Chim being like here! Have our child for the night, she’ll cheer you up! Bye!!

“All of them!” “That’s the best answer” he’s such a good uncle, he’s so good with kids, I love him, I love them, I adore the Buckley-Han family unit, y’all 🥺🥺🥺

Leader of Man! That’s Bobby!

God Brad is being a freak - shut up dude

You’re so right Bobby, she absolutely deserves an apology

Everyone immediately recording, if he’s this brazen around Bobby who hes obsessed with I’m surprised there aren’t a bunch of videos that the team brought up after learning Bobby was working with him

Holy shit

Why did you reach for a weapon at all? You didn’t need one asshole

Calling it a taser over and over again doesn’t make it one, dumbass

Gotta say, I prefer when we don’t have police based storylines but Angela Bassett is such a memorizing actress

I’m glad we see Sparks having to deal with the consequences of his actions at least, if we have to have this kind of storyline

Then saying “limey ass” in unison - beautiful

Also love the show immediately proving me right, there should be so many Brad Torrance videos!

Love a good “____ behind me, aren’t they?” moment

Omgod he’s gonna shadow Bobby

Oh poor Bobby, Brad’s gonna cause so much buffoonery, isn’t he?

The promo with Eddie being in the car while the water rises reminds me of S1 when Buck was in the elevator with the water rising

[hoodoobarbie]

LIFE UPDATE

Mentally I feel like was been struggling to create content, art, write and even interact on social media, due to massive adhd burnout, during the past few months and year. I feel like I let y’all down but I’m slowly returning to my blogs an social media.

This blog grew super fast and which scared, then overwhelmed me. I got overstimulated and started overthinking everything. I also think I got overzealous and started too many small projects, confusing myself even more. I’m still learning that I need to keep things simplified for the good of my adhd challenged brain while struggling with executive function despite my grand ambitions. Slowing down, for the sake of clarity is something I’ll always have to work at.

Spiritually I’ve grown so much on my path in Hoodoo which has been incredible. I don’t know if I should make that a separate post for later but I just feel incredibly blessed and even more connected to myself, my people and the world around me. I’ve gotten wiser and I’m forever grateful for all things Hoodoo, it’s saved my life. I’ve watched people come in and out of this community, by way of the church, disinterest, witch wars and even psychosis. I’ve learned a great deal about myself and my own mental health, which has empowered me further. I’ve laughed, I’ve learned, I’ve thrown hands with big dogs and made peace with and gained more understanding of the metaphysical realm.

Most importantly my faith and hope in life has been restored, knowing that I no longer will be a victim of injustice. I’m blessed to know how to conjure justice, swiftly and without fail. No longer with head on swivel or on edge as a black woman, it’s given me deep sense of peace and relief. No longer a victim of unlucky circumstances, I am the captain of my own ship. It’s all so scary, exhilarating and mind blowing at the same time. It’s a feeling I wish and pray for every black person to experience in their lifetime. It is a weight that I hate to see us carry, which is why I do my best to spread the love of Hoodoo all around.

I’ve worked and will continue to work hard on my ancestral journey, choosing to venerate them over worship. Through veneration, I’m breaking inter generational trauma, curses and chains and laying the groundwork for a better life for my entire bloodline.

In the meantime, Happy Hoodoo Heritage Month!!

HOODOOBARBIE

[space-cowboy-101]

✨Ateez as Dragon Age aesthetics pt.1✨

This is for my story on ao3 ‘i want to be where the sun warms the sky’ and 😭 i love them

Some backstory on them in case y’all are curious.

Captain Kim Hongjoong of the Destiny, he hails from the wealthy and famous coastal Antiva City—capital of Antiva. Growing up with two smartass parents, it wasn’t surprising that he spent most of his time reading the books in his family’s library and Antiva’s beginnings were revealed to his prepubescent mind. Pirates, raiders, plundering, Antiva was built by the pirates who wished for a calmer life after they were done with their wild days and Hongjoong became enraptured by that freedom. Now? Now he’s being held captive by a commander who couldn’t care less about his desire for freedom.

Park Seonghwa, a Nevarran with the grace and beauty of an Orlesian, a confusing case for Hongjoong to figure out. He’s sacrificed to give everything he could to one person and somehow it’s not the prophet he prays to every night, but he wouldn’t change that. His life was returned to him by a woman that would later be known as a Divine and while it gave him more than he could ask for, it would soon take much, much, more.

Crown Prince of Ferelden Jeong Yunho. A name many knew throughout Ferelden and its neighbors, but not because of who he is. The Fifth Blight ravaged the lands of Ferelden eleven years prior and it took the life of their king: his brother, but it gave him another, one that he was told was a stain on the Jeong name. The Landsmeet was the beginning of his end, when he’d be pitted against his new brother and forced to endure the fury of father as he slandered his uncle’s name while wishing he could leave through those doors with his brother and the Warden. Something festered in him during the coming times. Hate, rage, envy, something, until the Divine Conclave became his saving grace and his father sent him with a pirate as his escort.

Kang Yeosang, Orlesian nobility and the wearer of a mask that could easily be deemed ugliest of all. Eighteen years of his life spent attending special events, dawning the gold mask of the Kang family, and being groomed into the person his mother wanted to see representing their family. He’s watched his cousin humiliate himself to avoid the unavoidable, heard of his departure that lasted seven years, and listened to the stories he told about the adventures in Kirkwall. His cousin was his only connection to the outside world, and it sounded wonderful. Come time for his own attempt at humiliating himself before his father, to beg for his freedom, and failing, his cousin quickly became the sole key to the cage that locked him in Orlais.

Basically, everyone in this story comes with a little bit of trauma but I will not stop saying how much I love them because their stories are something I’ve spent days creating 🫶🏻 and I hope you love them too.

Each member is from a different nation in Thedas (I’m sad I couldn’t make anyone from Rivain but Hongjoong’s basically from there, right? He’s lived there long enough after he leaves Antiva) and I’m so excited to incorporate the nations cultures into their characters 😭

Anyway, feel free to ask questions about them or fangirl with me because my friend doesn’t share my excitement 💀

thank you for reading this if you’ve gotten this far! 🫰🏻

[strywoven]

y’all already know what time it is , popping in with my quarterly check-in.  just the general , thank you for remaining patient with me through the term and a reminder that the queue will assuredly run out soon but i won’t have the energy to do much for it until break starts a few weeks from now.  i’m always skulking about , however , willing to do things over discord or IMs.  anyways , the tea under the cut , for those interested !

well , as you might expect , we’re in rush-hour rn with the final few weeks slamming into everyone full-force.  not much is happening save for me continuing to excessively min-max my time to ensure i get the best grades possible ( please stop me , this is a problem ) . also two of my finals are a presentation and , as we all know , i might have done theatre but i cannot public speak ; pray for me.

i inevitably turned down the symposium despite the board members being like , “you should do it ! you have good research !” nah. you want my stupid ass to talk to the whole campus ? not gonna happen. sorry , maybe come talk to me when i’m , i dunno , another few years more self-assured.

the induction ceremony into the honor’s society is the 18th ! POG ! every time i talk about it , though , i inadvertently keep referring to it as an “inauguration” so now certain people i’ve mentioned it to refer to me as , “mr. president” as a running gag i shall never live down.  don’t you ever let my big-dick 4.0 and verbose mannerisms fool you , i can’t even speak my own language half the time LMAO.

it came to my attention recently that the remaining cornerstone classes for my degree are evening classes. and , just to save everyone a long and miserable story , the TLDR is i don’t drive for traumatic reasons ( and hailing an Uber several times a day back-and-forth is unsustainable when i pay part of my tuition already ) . so i had to sit down to counsel with my advisors and upcoming professors to sort out a game-plan. one of the professors , i shit you not , broke out the , “well , as a psychiatrist --” and she proceeded to grand-stand to me about her accolades , “-- have you considered therapy ?” like , no , what a novel idea-- obviously i have. i literally almost bailed right in that moment ; how fkn rude can you be ? what’s better is that i’ll be seeing her several times next term so … what a good introduction , huh ?

and just a remark about my moral theology course ( again ) . i do not see myself as a “know-it-all” … but i noticed over the term that i am one of the few who contributes consistently to the discussion at all. every time the professor asks a question , I MEAN OBVIOUSLY i have something to say ( like just recently he asked about dostoevsky , whom i was excited to discuss ) . and i swear to god , i cannot tell if this man is smiling when i talk because he’s amused or annoyed -- perhaps both. 

[jalbert-james]

heres my gen z translation of julius caesar act 1 scene 1. if you even care.

under the break:

Enter Flavius, Marullus, and certain Commoners, (including a Carpenter and a Cobbler,) over the stage.

FLAVIUS

Hey! Get off my lawn! Don’t you hooligans know you can’t just walk around without us knowing what color collar y’all wear? Speak up! What’s your profession?

CARPENTER

Well sir, I’m a carpenter.

MARULLUS

Where’s your leather apron and your tools? What do you do while you’re in uniform? You, boy, what do you do for a living?

COBBLER

If I’m honest, handsome- I mean sir, I’m watcha might call a cobbler.

MARULLUS

Whatever, soy boy. What’s your job? Tell me!

COBBLER

Well sir, in a way, I’m a mender of bad soles.

FLAVIUS

Dammit boy, what makes your bread? Quit being a saucy moron and tell me!

COBBLER

Sorry! Sorry. Don’t freak out. But, if you did freak out, I could make it up to you. Wink wink.

MARULLUS

Hey! What’s that mean? Mend me, zest fest?

COBBLER

Why, sir, cobble you.

FLAVIUS

So you’re a cobbler, yeah?

COBBLER

Well to be quite honest sir, I ain’t got no business but with the awl. I got no business in sales, nor any business with the ladies, but I really do fix shoes: if you got a hole in your heel, count it done. I’ve been the mender of some real rich men’s shoes.

MARULLUS

Then what business do you got out here? What’re you hootin’ and holl’rin’ about? What handsome, strong fella do you know who’s out there saving Rome? Y’all are a bunch of dimwit sopbrains who ain’t got no heart. Didn’t you know Pompey? Did you not hold your babies to your chest and watch over the fields to see our triumphant beauty come home? And when you did see him, did it not bring you to tears as you shouted in solidarity to his efforts for Rome? And what now? Don’t you dress for his excellence? Do you not bring flowers to honor Pompey’s bloodline? Get on! Go! Go pray to the gods for forgiveness. Your sinful lack of gratitude offends them.

FLAVIUS

Yeah! What he said! You best cry me a river right into the Tiber banks, and I better see y’all fall to your knees at the shore.

All the Commoners exit.

Now we’ll see if those low-life kids feel remorse. Look, you can see the guilt in their walk. You go to the Capitol, I’ll meet you there. If you see those pigs honoring the statues there, you better pull the ceremonial robes off of that sucker.

MARULLUS

Is that safe, Flavius? Y’know, it is Lupercal. It’d cause quite the ruckus.

FLAVIUS

Whatever. Don’t care. If I see another statue of Caesar, I’m going to go insane. I’m about to chase off all of these hobos. Together, we can pluck each feather out of his big stupid wings so that he can’t fly above us anymore. We can’t fear him if he’s just as powerless as us.

They exit (in different directions)

[girlamongstthewildflowers]

My Testimony

Hey y’all! Welcome to my blog!! I wanted to tell you a bit about myself incase we don’t know each other.

I’m a twenty six year old wife and mother of one. I grew up in a Christian home. Church every Sunday, praying before every meal and before bed every night. I had deep fear of God and of Jesus’s eventual return. I spent my whole life full of anxiety and fear. Any little noise I didn’t recognize would send me into a fit of tears and shakes. At the age of sixteen I nearly took my own life because I felt so lost. Like God had given up on me because there was so much wrong with me. Like I wasn’t worth saving to Him so why stick around. But I stayed. I kept trying and failing to be the Christian I thought I was supposed to be.

But in 2020 I took a step back from it all. I never stopped believing in God but I had a lot of trauma from my upbringing that made me lose interest in church and the Christian lifestyle all together. I spent the next four years going in and out of deep depression and hopelessness. It wasn’t all bad, though. Of course. I had a baby. I got married. All good things.

But through the spring and summer of 2024 I felt like something big was coming for me. Good or bad I didn’t really know. But I had a very scary thought going through my mind; “something is happening. God is either going to save me from myself. Or I’m going to end myself. I can’t see it any other way”. Then one morning I’m watching a new Christian movie that had come out and for the first time in a very long time, I cried. I was touched by the spirit in a way I hadn’t been in forever. This is something that’s always been important to me. I need to be able to cry for God. I prayed out and asked God to forgive me. After, I texted my mom and told her to pray for me. I knew now that I had done this, Satan was gonna come for me hard. And he did.

The next few months were hard. Habits I so badly wanted to lose got that much harder to let go of. I started church but was discouraged about having a hard time making friends. And life in general got very hard and busy. But then in October I decided enough was enough. I wouldn’t ride the fence anymore. I’m all in.

I was baptized November 3, 2024. And since then I’ve been slowly climbing upward. No matter how hard life gets. No matter what Satan throws at me, I’m solid. I’ve never felt so sure of my faith. What a comfort that is. To know where I’m going when Jesus comes back.

[drivemysoul]

“taylor you are so so beautiful and so so autistic please categorise taylor swift lyrics that correspond with kazuto and asuna’s relationship through every arc of sword art online”

thank you 😭😭 also thank you to everyone else who sent one i love y’all so much 🩷 okay i’m limiting myself to 3 per arc or i’ll be here for 20 hours because i have hours long playlists for each and every arc i love these two so so much

aincrad: “once upon a time the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned, you and i ended up in the same room at the same time, and the touch of a hand lit the fuse of a chain reaction of countermoves to asses the equation of you, checkmate, i couldn’t lose” (i’m counting it as one lyric shush), “i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” and “i’m perfectly fine, i live on my own, i made up my mind, i’m better off being alone, we met a few weeks ago, now you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes”

sugary days: “i want to drive away with you, i want your complications too, i want your dreary monday, wrap your arms around me baby boy”, “outside they’re pushing and shoving, you’re in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing” and “take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die, i don’t belong and my beloved neither do you”

fairy dance: “i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us”, “romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel, this love is difficult but it’s real” and “don’t say yes, run away now, i’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door, don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said speak now”

phantom bullet: “i’d give my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me”, “when i was shipwrecked i thought of you, in the cracks of light i dreamed of you, it was real enough to get me through, i swear you were there” and “are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these, and let all your damage damage me, and carry your baggage up my street, and make me your future history?”

mother’s rosario: “you can’t talk to me when i’m like this, daring you to leave me just so i can try and scare you”, “no deal, the 1950’s shit they want from me, i just wanna stay in that lavender haze” and “i gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy, and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your arms, frontlines don’t you ignore me, i’m the best thing at this party, and i wouldn’t marry me either”

ordinal scale: “i like shiny things but i’d marry you with paper rings”, “only bought this dress so you could take it off” and “give you the silence that only comes when two people understand eachother, family that i chose now that i see your brother as my brother, is it enough?”

alicization: “i woke up just in time, now i wake up by your side, my one and only, my lifeline”, “can i go where you go? can we always be this close forever and ever?” and “wherever you stray, i’ll follow”

war of underworld: “lord save me, my drug is my baby, i’ll be using for the rest of my life”, “i would’ve read your love letters every single night and prayed to god you’d be coming home alright, and you would’ve been fine, we would’ve been timeless” and “in the end in wonderland we both went mad”

moon cradle: “have i known you twenty seconds or twenty years?”, “i don’t wanna look at anything else now that i saw you, i don’t wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you” and “time breaks down your mind and body, don’t you let it touch your soul”

unital ring: “i’m gonna love you when our hair is turning grey, we’ll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we’ve made and you’ll say “oh my, we really were timeless””, “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush, drinking beer out of plastic cups, say you fancy me not fancy stuff, baby all at once this enough” and “i’ve loved you three summers now honey but i want them all”

[stargirlfeyre]

the same people scared feyre will become high queen with rhysand being high king bc they’re either 1. jealous of her bc they’re a sister stan or 2. peeved by her for biased idiotic reasons if they’re either a n*sta, l*cien or t*mlin stan usually end up being a fan of aelins, pray tell what age was aelin when she become a queen? who would put someone like her who keeps secrets and can be impulsive and temperamental in charge? who talks about conquering lands and people? i like aelin her and feyre are sjm’s best heroines imho but…aelin being a queen with how she’s acted and how young she was and being the same stan’s to say feyre is too young or shouldn’t be? can’t take them serious 😂

like aelin has CONQUERED lands christopher columbus style that weren’t even hers, and feyre and rhysand don’t even want to do that nor do they like that sort of thing they only wanted to rule to NC. sjm is having it where they’d only take over to help with all the courts being on the same page since there’s so much conflict and feysand has the most power to stop the asteri. aelin never had to help save 7 courts with asteri even if her circumstances were still serious too. i just peep the bias and hypocrisy from these groups of fans is all lmao. love you aelin stan’s but SOME of you make it hard to be stan’s w the bias and hypocrisy toward feyre when it comes to this queen shit. anyone against it only makes me manifest it happening even more! ✨

The people who don’t want her to become High Queen are the same people who want it for their favs instead. I’ve literally seen people say that they’re only against the “High king/Queen” plot if it’s Feysand. They’re the same people who want Lucien or Nesta for the role. The two most incapable people in the series.

The sister stans probably don’t want Feyre to be High Queen because they are obsessed with this idea that each sister is going to inherit a court and become high ladies along with Feyre. I don’t think they want Feyre to have the power of “High Queen” when her sisters don’t. And wasn’t Aelin and Feyre around the same age? 19-22? Not to diss or try to downplay Aelin but she spent some of her childhood at court then was an assassin for a better part of it. To me nothing about her makes her more qualified to be queen than Feyre. And that’s not shade, it’s just the truth. Yes they both have different strengths and weaknesses but I don’t see neither as being majorly qualified over the other.

And top of that you’re trying to call Feyre a tyrant and say she doesn’t actually care about people when Aelin literally thought about becoming a colonizer just for the fuck of it. THATS the girl y’all are putting against Feyre when it comes to ruling? Y’all just need to learn when to pick your battles. Rhys said he would never become high king because it’s unethical and he doesn’t agree with prythian answering to one power and Aelin said she would start conquering far away kingdoms to build an empire for her children if she got bored. They’re not the same.

[gloomy-ghosty]

Hello, I’m Ameera a 23 years old Muslim lesbian who is trying to come out, I’ve been in the closet with my girlfriend for way too long, because of how dangerous and hard it is to come out as a lesbian to a religious Muslim family, but me and my girlfriend have decided to do whatever it takes and risk it all to come out, do you mind supporting and encouraging us?, we have the plan to go away which is why I have my donation campaign pinned on my profile, if I raise at least that goal I can start the process with my savings, I can’t come out until I’d gotten my apartment and I’m away from family, so please support by donating if you can and help reblog though I know we all have what we dealing with, so I’m not imposing we just need all the support and encouragement we can get, check my pinned post for more information on how you can support, if you are a Muslim queer and you are out, please help with tips on how to make it less complicated, any word of advice is also really needed, we really wanna come out but we need y’all 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ pride please come through for us, I believe pride is for all

hey there, Ameera! unfortunately, i cant do much other than reblog and pray for you, but i will do both of those things. hope all goes well :]

[biseuxal-fox]

Hello, I’m Ameera a 23 years old Muslim lesbian who is trying to come out, I’ve been in the closet with my girlfriend for way too long, because of how dangerous and hard it is to come out as a lesbian to a religious Muslim family, but me and my girlfriend have decided to do whatever it takes and risk it all to come out, do you mind supporting and encouraging us?, we have the plan to go away which is why I have my donation campaign pinned on my profile, if I raise at least that goal I can start the process with my savings, I can’t come out until I’d gotten my apartment and I’m away from family, so please support by donating if you can and help reblog though I know we all have what we dealing with, so I’m not imposing we just need all the support and encouragement we can get, check my pinned post for more information on how you can support, if you are a Muslim queer and you are out, please help with tips on how to make it less complicated, any word of advice is also really needed, we really wanna come out but we need y’all 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ pride please come through for us, I believe pride is for all

I hope you and your girlfriend can get all of the support that you need! Praying that you two will be safe & happy soon! ❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ I'm not very religious nor am I Muslim but I am queer, which can be difficult at times but it's worth it because it's who I am, who I want to be and I wish all LGBTQ+ people the same! Good luck❤️

[enchantinglyjade]

Milk & Honey - Ch. 17

Austin!Elvis x Black!OC

Masterlist

Previous | Next

Summary: Honey tries to learn how to carry on without her love

Warning: BIG SAD, Depression, character death, loss of parents, car accident

Song: Maybe - The Chantels

Note: Y’all gone hate me for this one

Playlist

-

Maybe, if I pray every night

You'll come back to me

It had been a lonely number of weeks, my family and job continuing on like nothing had changed. I felt like a broken record, stuck doing the same routine every single day. My goal to save money dwindled. Save money for what? Move out to be even more alone? So I could cry ANYWHERE in my house in peace while I longed for him? I stopped singing, all passion I once had had been torn from me. I barely talked, I never smiled. I was a shell of myself.

I sit on the couch, dull, empty, staring at the TV with Pearl who has been obnoxiously quiet the past few weeks.

I had been avoiding exposing myself to any media, the news, the radio, music, the newspaper, everything. I could barely get groceries without seeing his face somewhere. Everything was a constant reminder. I’ve been trying to challenge myself recently, looking at a picture of him and telling myself to feel nothing. I had to strengthen myself back up. I don’t know how many more breakdowns in aisle 6 I could take anymore, or that the grocery store would allow. On the bright side, Elvis and I were long forgotten news and I could actually make it to the grocery store again without someone following me for a picture of me and my juvenile delinquent activities. I was back to being a nobody.

So here I am, back at home watching the news.

So far it was fine, no mention of him, just regular weather and advertisement. But right as I started getting comfortable, BOOM, there he was. Cut hair, green Army suit, and the last thing I ever prepared myself to see, a woman hanging on him. She was younger, white, rich. She had long, luscious dark hair, a smooth, innocent face, with glistening eyes. Nothing but eye candy under his arm.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Not from jealousy. No, that was too simple of an emotion. In my heart surges grief, longing, betrayal. I felt like a bug that just got stomped on repeatedly. Days of trying to build up immunity absolutely demolished from one short clip of him on TV.

My heart quickens in panic and my eyes fill with tears. I feel like I can’t move. God, I feel sick. Just then I race to the bathroom.

Okay, maybe I’m actually gonna be sick.

I clean my mouth, hanging over the sink to clear my head and compose myself before I go back out into the living room.

“Honey…are you alright?” My mother asks standing in the doorway.

I take a quick glance at her before looking back down into the sink saying nothing. I haven’t spoken to her in days.

She takes a deep breath. “Baby, I’m sorry. I just- I didn’t expect your daddy to come into the picture either and it’s been a lot for me too. Raising you on my own all these years, then having him come back in with another kid. I knew you were stressed about it too, so when you was goin to see Elvis I knew you just needed support. I tried to just let you be happy, but it’s hard havin to let my baby go and be an adult now. Especially when it means watching you get involved with the law.” She sniffles, wiping a fallen tear from her face. “I was so scared and tryin so hard to figure out what to do about you, your daddy, and Pearl that I exhausted myself, but I still shouldn’t have been ignorin y’all, and I’m so sorry bout the hurt I put you through.”

I lift my head up from the sink, tears brimming my eyes. “Mama, I missed you.” I say, before meeting her halfway for a hug.

She rubs my back, laying kisses down in my hair. “I’m sorry about Elvis. I know how much you love him and I see everyday how much it hurts you. I’m here for you, baby.”

Now I’m just a crying mess. I sob into her shoulder. “Thank you.” Only once I get a hold of myself do I break away from her. She gives me a weak smile, while I close my eyes, rubbing away tears. When I open them again I see Pearl standing behind Ma. She looks at me, guilty, playing with her hands. Ma notices a change in my face and turns around.

“I, um.” Pearl starts, swallowing. “I’m also…sorry…about Elvis.” She clears her throat. 

I scoff, walking past Ma to her. “He was sent to the other side of the world because of what you did. Don’t talk to me.” I warn.

And Maybe, if I cry every day

You'll come back to stay

Oh, maybe

Another restless night.

I creep out of my bedroom, careful not to wake Pearl. I tiptoe tiredly down the stairs to switch the TV on, turning the dial down to its lowest volume, then sitting on the couch.

“Can’t sleep?” A voice calls from the kitchen. Dad steps around the corner, coke in hand and a sentimental look on his face.

I shake my head, turning back to the TV. He quietly walks across the wooden floor, sitting down next to me with a groan. The light from the TV flashes on our faces in the otherwise dark room. He takes a sip from the cola, sitting in silence while I hug one of the couch pillows.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask, chin still resting on the pillow. No point in staying angry with him. He sits up. “What was life like in Alabama?”

“What? You want me to tell you my life’s story or somethin?” He asks with a smile.

I hug the pillow insecurely. “Yeah…Ma never told me anything.”

His smile turns soft. “You wanna know everything?”

I nod, smiling like a little kid while I turn sideways on the couch to face him.

He chuckles, running his hand through his blonde hair, same color as mine. “Well, grew up on Maw and Pa’s plantation. Was always a real rebellious kid. You must get that from me.”

My smile turns into a toothy grin.

“When I was a teen, my folks hired a maid, your Mama. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and woowee did she have a voice. I’d sneak out with some of the sharecroppers, listen to ‘er sing. I was in love. I used to purposely break things just to get her alone in a room, sneak her little kisses. One day, we got caught. Pa put me in jail, thought som’ was wrong with me. I was in there for 2 years, Pa passed halfway through my sentence. When I got out, Maw told me your Mama ran away. I could never stop thinkin bout Loretta, but I tried to do what I could to make Maw happy, she was all alone then. Even tried marrying another woman. Betty. She was a lovely woman. Gave Maw the white grandbaby she always wanted, thought I was ‘cured’ or som’. When Pearl was ‘bout 7 years old, Betty passed. It was just me, Pearl, and Maw up until a few months ago. Maw passed over the summer, Pearl was gonna be turning into an adult soon, so I finally took it upon myself to sell the plantation and start lookin for your Mama again. Then I found out I have you.”

I sit, processing all the information. I always wondered where Pearl’s mother was. I figured divorce or something, I had no idea she passed away.

He sighs. “I’m sorry bout the way I been actin, ‘specially with…Elvis. It’s just- I thought I lost ya.” He takes a deep breath. “I lost nearly everyone I love and the thought of finally findin you just to have you taken from me scared the shit out of me.” He shakes his head, hiding his tears with a smile. “Pardon my language, but it really did. Them cops they- They won’t hesitate to hurtcha, or worse…” A desensitized face stares back at me, knowing and full of stories and experience.

I smile weakly. “I never meant to scare the both of you so much, I just- I loved him so much, Dad. I known him my whole life. He was my best friend and now he’s gone. I miss him so bad.” I cover my face, tears threatening to spill.

He leans over, bringing me into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Honey. I never should have made you feel so bad about it. I just didn’t want you to go through what your Mama and I did or worse with all his fans and reporters. I just want you safe. The world can be real cruel when it sees things it don’t like.”

I pull away with a deep breath, before shooting him an understanding smile. Of course it wasn’t that easy to forgive everything he said just like that, but I’m too low on energy and love to care enough to keep this grudge up any longer.

“Can I ask you somethin now?” He raises an eyebrow at me, waiting for my answer with a smirk.

I giggle. “What?”

“I don’t know what went on between you two, but can you and Pearl TRY to get along? It breaks my heart seein you go at it all the time. I know it sounds hard to believe but she does really look up to you, but she thinks that coming here means I’m gonna forget all about our family and her mama and that none of it meant anything. She feels…abandoned. I tried talkin to her some, but from the sounds of it, you two have some talkin that needs to be done too. I just want my two little girls to be sisters.”

Ugh. That’s the last thing I wanna hear right now. But, I admit, knowing a little bit more about her does help me understand her better, so for his sake-

I sigh. “I’ll try.”

Maybe, if I hold your hand

You will understand

And maybe, if I kissed your lips

I'll be at your command

A few days later I find that when Ma said she was stressed about Dad coming back in, she really meant she was scared about the love coming back.

From my bedroom window, I watch. In the Green Chevy parked out front, sits my parents. I was wondering what the hell they could be talking about that they didn’t want Pearl and I to accidentally hear. They sit in there for a good while, just talking, and right as I get bored and start pulling away, they kiss. 

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I knew they had something going on. I’ve always known Ma missed him, which is why it was so hard for her to talk about it, but I didn’t think they’d actually go for it again, especially with Pearl in the way.

Ma pulls away, eyes closed for a moment, still dazed from the kiss. Had I not known better, I’d think it was her first kiss. Her lids flutter open, love sparkling in her eyes and a big grin plastered on her face. They hug, holding each other tightly, finally getting the peace to love like they always wanted.

My heart stands exactly 3 more seconds of this scene before it causes me to burst out into absolute tears.

At least one of us got our happy ending.

I've cried and prayed to the Lord

To send you back my love

But instead you came to me

Only in my dreams

“Ooo, where you goin?” I ask Ma with a smile, looking at her getup. First time I had ever seen her so dressed up.

Dad comes rushing downstairs, taking her arm into his. “We’re goin dancing.”

I smile, fighting through the sting in my eyes. Come on, Honey. You can’t let everything remind you of him. “I hope you have fun.” But I can never hide anything from Ma.

She walks over to me, holding my face in her palms to examine me. “You okay, baby?”

I nod. “Yeah, just stressed still. I’m fine.”

“You sure? You look pale?” She looks over my cheeks, rubbing them with her thumb. “Is this about Elvis?”

I sigh. When isn’t it? “Yeah.” I answer in a whisper.

Her smile turns to a frown, bringing me into a hug. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this, but maybe it’ll be for the best. Maybe someone even better than you could’ve imagined will find you.” She pulls away, holding my face once more. “You’re a strong woman, Honey. You’ll get through this.”

“Your mama’s right. You’re a real strong girl, Honey, but maybe you should try gettin out sometime too. Get your mind off things for a second.”

I smile into Ma’s palm, looking between the both of them, before pulling away. “Yeah, maybe I’ll have to try that sometime.” I chuckle lightly.

He smiles, taking Ma’s arm once again. “Alright, we’ll be back later. Two of you be safe now.” Dad says waving to Pearl and I as they step out the door.

I spent most of the night in my room deciding to try singing again. My voice had gotten rusty from barely being in use for nearly 5 months now. It’s everything but motivating, but I know past me wouldn’t want me to give up, no matter how hard it may be to keep pushing on right now. 

Eventually I tire of singing tand lay down on my bed. I stare at the wall, tracing the patterns with a sigh. Things will get easier. They have to.

The next morning I wake up with that usual stomach ache. Damn stress has been getting to me so bad that I make myself sick most days.

I go downstairs with the intention of grabbing a coke, hoping it will settle my stomach. Pearl’ sat on the couch with a bowl of cereal and the TV playing its usual news in front of her. I scan the living room and kitchen finding no sign of Mom and Dad. “Are they home?” I ask Pearl from the kitchen, peeking around the corner.

“No.” She says, not looking up from her bowl.

Okay..? “Where’d they go?”

She shrugs, “Never came back.”

And she’s not worried by this? Weird they never said anything… “Did they call?”

She shrugs again with an annoyed sneer.

I roll my eyes, going back over to the fridge. Maybe they called when we were asleep, decided to stay out late and got a Motel or something. I try shrugging it off. Just glad they're both happy again. I bring a coke over to the counter, grabbing a bottle opener, the TV filling the silence between us.

‘An unfortunate accident just on the outskirts of Memphis-.’

“So, I saw you watching American Bandstand the other day, do you like to dance?” I ask, attempting to make small talk with her like Dad’s wishes.

She doesn’t answer.

I roll my eyes again, popping the lid of the drink and watching it fly across the counter. It ain’t any easier for me to pretend to like her, but the least she can do is play along for Dad’s sake. “Pearl?”

She doesn’t answer again.

I put down the bottle opener in frustration, marching into the living room. Between my stomach ache, and now headache from her, I had about enough. “Look, Pearl, I know that-”

I pause. She stares at the TV in horror. Her shaking hand loses grip of her bowl, letting the glass slip from her fingers and shatter across the wooden floor. My heart drops at the scene alone, my whole soul dies when I glance over to the TV.

The man’s voice completely tunes out of my head. The only thing I see is the sight of a familiar green Chevy smashed into little pieces.

Maybe if I pray every night

You'll come back to me

And maybe if I cry every day

You'll come back to stay

If I thought life was tough before, I had lost every sense of myself now. I felt like I finally lost that last bit of childhood happiness I tried clinging onto while the world crumbled around me. This is what being an adult is like; Loss, sacrifice, disappointment, working so hard for such little results.

I just started getting things right with Ma and Dad. I never even got to tell Dad I loved him. And now I lost them. It’s just me now. It’s a new beginning I have no choice but to accept.

I locked myself in Ma’s room, letting Pearl have mine. I went through all of her things, hugging her clothes, putting on her old jewelry, until finding myself hunched over, crying into a box tucked in the back of her closet. In the box I find some of my old clothes and baby dolls. I take out a cloth article, a pull toy falls out from underneath it, rolling across the floor. I unwrap the fabric, discovering it’s an old baby dress Ma sewed for me. I hold it up, eyeing its every detail before a rot takes over my gut.

My hands shake and I breathe in a panic as I realize. The stomach aches. The night he left. No, no, no. That can’t be right. I can’t- This can’t happen to me right now.

The dress falls from my hands, as I prop myself up on a wall. I hold my belly as I try to keep my stomach in from the pure fear I felt.

I’ve been so stressed I didn’t even notice.

I hadn’t bled in three months.

Oh, maybe

Maybe (Maybe, maybe, maybe)

.

.

.

- Taglist -

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[xxaraaq]

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤

Im writing this because I’ve been thinking about it so why not. And sorry I haven’t posted in a while I just didn’t feel like it

ProHero! Midoriya x black fem reader angst

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

You didnt think that you would wake up to a soft knock on your door at 7 AM on a unusually quiet Sunday morning

You didnt think that when you opened the door you would see Bakugou looking at you with nothing but dread in his eyes

You didnt think that he would come in and gently sit you on the couch

You didnt think the now bubbling thought in your mind would be the truth

You really didn’t want to think that it was a reality when he told you that your beloved husband was killed an hour before you were woken up

You look at him blankly as he directs his gaze to the floor

“What are you talking about Katsuki?” You say, a cramping sensation taking space in your throat

“I’m so sorry y/n.” He says, placing a gentle hand on your knee

“Ar- are you okay?” You say, tears ushering to the front of your eyes

“Wha- um...yeah, I will be.” He says, sadness decorating his face

“Ok, that’s good. I’m sorry, I know that you two were close.” You say, taking his hand in yours

“What’re you talkin’ about, why're you askin me?” He says, confusion decorating his features

“I know, I just- um, I know that this’ll sound rude but can you come back later? I just um, I just need to take this in.” You say, tears racing down your face

“Yeah yeah, just um, call me if you need me ok? I’m here.” He says, getting up

“Same here ” You say, getting up to give him a hug

“I just want you to know that he loved you so, so much” The blonde says, returning the affections

“I know.” You whispered

As you lock and close the door, a deafening, body racking sob crashes though your body.

you cried and cried, struggling to breath. You couldn't do this. You cant do this. You cry until you can't, simply opting to stare at nothing, letting your mind continue to run in a frenzy

You have since put your phone on dnd, not having the energy to read and answer the continually flowing ‘I’m so sorry for your loss’ and ‘Are you okay, I heard’ texts

You think about him. What he was, was he was going to be. You prayed to anyone that would listen, begging to give hime back to you. To let you see his face one more time.

The days following the news of how your husband gave his life to save hundreds were hectic and overwhelming. You were constantly giving public speeches and handling all of his affairs including his funeral. It was too much, but you couldn’t stop, because you knew deep down that if you did, that you wouldn’t start again.

By the time the day of the the funeral came, you had shed so many tears that you went numb to the aching pain of the headaches that ensued after. You hadn’t felt it, but the people around you noticed the change in you after Izuku died. The way your eyes lost the excitement, the way your skin lost the glow that it always had, the way you would immediately shut down any conversation about or concerning him, the way your aura was consumed with emptiness and hatred. But no one said anything, because if they did you, would give them a look that would put gut wrenching fear in them, no matter who it was. You were a different person now, your reason of why you did everything the way you did now gone.

After the ceremony was done, you sat beside him, doing nothing but admiring his headstone, a painful smile on your face.

"Hi baby. It's been to long since I've heard your voice. I need you, but you're gone and I don't know what to do. Please tell me, you always knew the answer. But tell me, what the hell am I supposed to do now that you're not here? I'm lost, and I cant find my way back. I need your help, so please, please come back to me. I need you."

As get move to the front of his stone you silently read the words.

‘A great husband and friend, and the best hero.’

“Why did you have to save the day? Why did you have to be the hero?”

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Hey y’all I hope y’all liked it, I was thinking about this and I personally think that it came out good, but thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed

-Nene