#@051688

[shelikeswongkarwai]

[ school dazed and confused ]

ft. bohyun @051688 in an au

Their ages usually stay the same in the verses she imagines except for a certain few. In this one they both go to the same school. He’s a year older than her because it just doesn’t seem right that he wouldn’t be. From what he’s told her he was the nerdy jock that somehow toed the line between cool and uncool, which would make her the irresponsible goth princess that still makes good grades while still spending most of her weekends out being with friends or catching a show in some college kid’s garage.

But none of that matters. Not really.

What matters is that they go to the same school and they just so happen to take a class together. English specifically because English is her favourite and she’s proficient enough that her teacher recommends she move up a year in her class. So she does. And that isn’t necessarily where they meet but it’s where she sees him most of the time. Him in the little gaggle of bros in the corner she would never in a million years associate with because ew how boring is that. Varsity jackets? Please. Varsity jackets in high school? Gag. But she knows he’s smart. And she knows he’s not nearly as bad as the others.

And maybe that’s why she bothers him. Maybe that’s why she corners him in the library where she knows he’ll be like clockwork after school on a day he doesn’t have practice. Because he’s on the swim team or something, some sport where he wears tight things, she doesn’t really pay that much attention. But she knows he’ll be there, so that’s where she is. For once he’s alone, which she figures is as good a sign as any for her to plop herself down beside him and slam a hastily stapled stack of papers before him. She figures the cover page will tell him everything he needs to know. They’re in the same class, they’re working on the same assignment, ultimately different subject matter, but it still counts for 30% of their final grade and it’s due in three days.

“Word on the street is that you’re doing pretty good in O’Grady’s class. So, I want you to help me.” Chances are he would just stare, chances are even higher that he might not know who she is. She’s kind of counting on that, because she figures if he doesn’t know who she is, there’s a better chance he won’t say no. So she offers up what she thinks is a charming grin, little does she know he had that market cornered long before she could ever try.

But all that matters is that she has his attention.

Her paper, finished for the most part, is on top of whatever textbook he was reading and she sits there staring. Kind of hoping he won’t ask too many questions. But what normal person wouldn’t, right? She’s a whirlwind of long dark hair unkempt at the ends, chokers layered around her neck, doc martens overworn and scuffed, a usually oversized flannel tied around her waist to reveal a band tee (NIN today) and jeans torn at the knees with real pockets (they’re thrifted of course). And he’s not. The exact opposite in fact. But she isn’t deterred. Their stubbornness usually remains intact through the verses.

His look is disbelieving and Elena can’t blame him, but maybe she can? She’s heard he tutors, although she’s also heard his sessions devolve into something more sex education adjacent but when he finally answers with an affirmative, she sees her opening and he’s doomed. The figurative door is kept wide open as she coerces him into looking her paper over and arguing when she disagrees with a correction he wants to make. But for the most part the next two hours are spent getting exactly what she wants, even if the librarian has to come around at least three times to shush them. The matron was used to such shenanigans from her but clearly not from him based on the suspicious looks she sent them.

And that would be the start of their haphazard friendship. Acquaintance? Something else entirely? They start acknowledging each other in the hallway, he grins sometimes while she usually shoots him the finger. In English class, he remains in his varsity jacket corner, but from time to time, she catches him staring, he catches her looking him over and that goes on for the next few weeks. The grades for their paper finally come back and she gets her highest mark yet in the class which means she sneaks a note into his locker telling him to meet her after school. She knows he doesn’t have practice that day.

Elena in this verse is still just as obnoxious and bratty as she is in their current one. So when he shows up after school, as she’d hoped, she drags him to a nearby hot dog stand and buys him one as thanks. Not that she says thanks outright but like most of the verses, she’s hoping he gets it without her having to risk softness because that would be the bane of her existence. They’d sit hunched on the curb as they ate and talked, it’s a lot easier like this for either of them to open up and chat freely without the hover of eyes and questioning stares because they shouldn’t even know who the other is. Elena teases and prods and says nothing of the ketchup on his cheek because it’s nice to see him messy for once, not all taut and clean.

She’ll never admit that she likes him. Or is starting to. Always had? No matter the verse, there’s always this pull strung tight between them. No matter how long it takes them to realize it. Here? With them like this? It takes the end of the semester and a few short weeks left in summer vacation for them to realize it. With school out, it’s both easier and harder for them to see each other. They don’t have the excuse of daily hallway run ins and English class, but there’s nights where Elena invites him to an underground show and days he convinces her to catch a matinee showing of the newest movie from a director they both loved.

It doesn’t always work out. Sometimes she has to stay at home and help her mom and other times his friends assume he isn’t up to anything and force him to another house party that sees him garnering the attention of girls he isn’t interested in. One such summer party, a big blowout at Garth’s house (he’s one of the varsity jacket boys), results in a slew of videos and the high speed churn of the gossip mill that young and handsome Bohyun was now dating young and beautiful Jess from a neighbouring high school. Normally Elena wouldn’t hear about such things, they didn’t run in similar circles, but a cousin of a friend went to said neighbouring high school and Elena followed them on IG and the algorithm found a way of showing her such a video. This one’s clear, obviously shot on the newest iPhone, yet shaky but it’s zoomed in on someone who bears a striking resemblance to Bohyun definitively making out with a very pretty blonde in the one corner not occupied by other bodies apparently.

Elena doesn’t speak to him for a week.

Texts go unanswered, calls are ignored, even discord messages are left unread. For all Bohyun knows, she’s been abducted by aliens, but by the fourth day, she’s uncharacteristically live streaming from a shitty venue hosting an even shittier band while tipsy but smiley and barely hanging off the shoulder of an older and attractive in that sketchy-you’re-on-the-verge-of-an-eviction-notice-aren’t-you kind of way. Bohyun asks things like ‘Where’ve you been?’, ‘Are you ok?’, ‘Who is he?’ in the stream but she’s too drunk to notice and shuts it down soon after.

Like I said. No matter the verse, they’re always stubborn. And this one’s no different.

On day 9, Bohyun has had enough and he shows up at hers. In this verse, Elena’s family’s a little better off, but nowhere close to his and the rest of their school. For all of her ripped jeans and laissez faire approach, she’s a scholarship kid. It’s the only way for them to afford four years. He’s been outside her apartment before and after meet ups, but he’s never gone all the way to her door. She’s never let him. The complex itself isn’t shabby, it’s clean and well maintained, but Elena always had troubles with her guard. Verse be damned.

So when she opens the door, she doesn’t expect him. He hadn’t messaged her in advanced, which was a good thing too. For if he had, she’d have run off and moved to neighbouring Jersey if that’s what it took. Instead she’s met with him and she pulls a face, remembering the stupid video.

“What?” She’d hiss, probably stepping outside and closing the door behind her because if her mom knew he was here, she’d invite him and Elena’s really not up for explaining why boys like him aren’t allowed.

“So you are alive.”

“In the flesh. Anything else?”

If it isn’t clear already, Bohyun doesn’t like this new curt Elena tensed before him. He doesn’t recognize her. Not in comparison to the Elena who he’s spent several weeks sharing knowing glances with and ducking through subway turnstiles behind because ‘he needs to live a little’. Not the same Elena who shoots him a sideway little smile over her book when he glances up from his own only to notice they’re both staring. This one is hard and bundled up tight and he doesn’t understand why. Of course he wouldn’t.

“Walk with me,” he can see no on her face before her mouth even thinks to move so he decides not to give her the chance. He takes a hold of her wrist and pulls her along despite her opposition because he can’t talk to her like this. The elevator ride is quiet and she’s fuming by the time they make it back outside and she wrenches her arm out of his loosened grip. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Bohyun the great? Do something wrong? You’re not coded for that. Why would something be wrong?” Her stare is dark and he almost laughs until he realizes she’s serious. It’s not the sardonic tone he’s used to from her, and that worries him.

“Hey… what’s wrong? Really. We haven’t spoken in at least a week and I haven’t seen you in even longer.” For some reason that realization strikes them both. Elena begins picking at her black nail polish and Bohyun tries to get a better look at her face. The city is loud behind them, it’s late afternoon on a long summer day, but all the two of them can hear is the stretch of silence between them.

Eventually she speaks, mouth curling into a pout she would never admit to, “….figured you’d want to spend the rest of the summer with your girlfriend. She’s pretty. But why wouldn’t she be? It’s not as if you’d date someone ugly.” If she weren’t too busy burning a hole into her chipped polished nails, maybe she’d see the confusion distorting his young features. Genuine confusion withering his brows.

“Girlfriend…? What are you talking about?”

“Oh my god— don’t play dumb. Everyone knows. You and Jess. It’s everywhere.” She hates that she suddenly sounds like everything she hates about high school, the endless tedium and the drone of gossip that went in one ear and out the other— but here she was. Being the thing she dreaded most. A high school girl. Worse— a high school girl who liked a boy that didn’t like her. Remember: this is what she thinks.

It hits him then that she must’ve seen the videos. Heard whatever it was people were saying. He was a growing boy with urges and Jess was a pretty girl with those same urges— tack on some underaged drinking and the goading of his friends and who was he to pass up a makeout session or two? What he hadn’t expected were the rumours that followed quickly after, but he never took much stock in such things, so said nothing of it, shrugging off anyone who dared to assume. Yet the girl before him had never asked him. Why would she? That wouldn’t have been very Elena of her. So how would she know that it was all just the exaggerated fancies of drunken teens?

He grins to himself and there’s something familiar and vaguely cocky about it as he leans in to catch the eyes of a moody Elena.

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? Because you think I’m dating a pretty blonde? You know how I feel about blondes.” She sends him a scathing glower at that and his grin deepens, intentional in his wording. A riled up Elena usually forgot much else. Even the fact she was supposed to be ignoring him.

“I know you’re a guy and guys will date anyone that looks like her. Even you.” Which is probably what has her disappointed the most. She thought he was different despite his jacket, but maybe she’d been wrong all along. She hated that it started up a ball in the pit of her stomach.

“Elena, Elena… if you want to date me, just say so.” She punches his shoulder with a huff and he laughs out loud, sensing the slow return of the girl he knows. “I’m not dating her. If you’d ever thought to ask, you’d have known that.” She still has it in her to roll her eyes like she wasn’t pouting just moments before and his grin softens. It’s funny how very little their dynamic actually changes throughout the verses.

“Well… congratulations I guess. You’re still on the market. The girls of New York must be sooo relieved.” In the midst of her tirade, he’s moved in even closer and before she has a chance to notice, he’s a lot closer than she’s used to. Especially after more than a week of not having seen each other.

“You’re wrong. I’m not on the market.”

“But you just said—“

“I know what I said. I’m not dating her. But I can’t be on the market either if there’s someone I already like.” It isn’t like the movies where she’s suddenly swept off her feet, but she sees something in his gaze that she hadn’t noticed before. And neither of them do anything about it because they’re both a little chicken and a week before school starts up again, she’ll tell him she better not see anymore videos of him kissing girls online or she’s kicking his ass. And he’ll promise only for them to finally kiss the night before the first day of classes outside her apartment after they’ve gotten back from a Park Chan Wook marathon because what’s more romantic than that, right?

Neither of them says anything like go out with me but the next school year they’re always talking between class and he’s always trying to walk her to hers to her chagrin and sometimes if the library is quiet enough you might peek around a bookshelf and spot them making out behind a precarious pile of books that she thinks works as an effective hiding technique but what does he care so long as he gets to kiss the girl he likes.

[minseologs]

Perspective Compliance pt.2

@051688 @shelikeswongkarwai

It was rather tense in the lift ride with Elena’s purse in Minseo’s hand. It took heavy convincing and negotiation for her not to call the cops. To explain everything to someone who had barely known her. The younger’s arm comfort her own self after witnessing the traumatic thing she’s seen, while Minseo was nonchalant about the situation, and even cleaning up her bloody self to the best of her abilities like it’s in the norm.

Elena follows her through the office, the grandeur was being experienced for the first time as it was her first ever being there in CRM’s grounds. It was quiet due to the late hours of the night, and she was already packing her questions to Minseo. They enter a wing with prepared items to clean up herself, including water bottles and sanitary wipes of all kinds. It appeared this wasn’t the first it’s happened. An internal monologue was running in her mind, she doesn’t even know where to begin. Am I gonna die? Who is she, really—? I should call the cops— wait what if I die before they get he—

“Sit.” She jolts, and sit’s to the closest couch by the door. the older notices this wile washing her hands in a makeshift sink with the trash bin. “I don’t mean to threaten you, but I’ll have people catch you if you try to run from me at this moment.”

“I won’t.” She assures. But she was still tense. The terror in her voice pipes from her through and she had trouble getting her words out. How does one react to that? “You’re gonna get arrested— you’re leaving evidence just like that?”

“I can’t be arrested if nothing is there. I already messaged my team, they’re taking care of it at this moment. I know because the garage has been closed. No one gets in, or gets out until it’s done.”

“—and what about the body?”

“They usually burn it.”

Elena’s face was stunned with the way Minseo just says it so casually. Her mind puts out questions after questions that Minseo probably has an answer to. She was unsure what’s gonna happen now, but her perception had changed. Seeing her as a comedic and soft relief has now shifted to someone headstrong and to be feared. Despite this, she felt as though she knows to lay everything out.

“I heard you know a little— from Bohyun. I could only assume not this much.” She speaks gently, for a moment there, the person she knew returns."

“Yeah— but— not like this,” her shoulder shrugs. She still felt uncomfortable. “I didn’t know about killing or whatever…” her eyes gaze cautiously. “Does Bohyun— do this, too?”

“No— his family just deals with the tech things and what not— nothing illegal. Nothing about killing. They operate overseas, our family acquainted with each other here in Korea. We’ve had a long history so…” she hands back her purse as some sort of peace offering. “I promise, Bohyun didn’t keep anything a secret from you. This— what I do, I told him a long time ago even before you were around. So it’s between us. At least, as far as I know.”

hm… Elena mutters in a weary tone, watching Minseo finish up her dues. It was weird. All to weird for her.

“Why were you here anyway…?”

-

“Have you lost your fucking mind—?” Bohyun storms in to the CRM office, with Minseo just as surprised they weren’t able to stop him. “Let’s talk, about what Elena saw—“

Her eyes look over at the apologetic guards bowing their heads, excusing them gently so not to make them feel even worse as they are left alone. “Goddamn you’re worst than Wenhan— he shows up undetected sometimes.” He huffs, pacing around her office floor. “You know you can’t just come in here and start screaming at me— let alone make the poor security chase after you.”

“How much did she see—“

“Everything, including the dead body. And my hand is injured aren’t you gonna ask about that?” She responds nonchalant, eyes still on her work. Bohyun wants to snap her hands in half, only to retract the thoughts after seeing it bandaged. “It’s been less than a week… it’ll take time to get used to— I told her what your family does as a pre-requisite, you know. Everything else that is your personal history with relationships, including that awful bitch you had previously, no. She told me she knew a little but not all of it. You should thank me, I made you look like a saint—“

“Fuck off, Minseo—“ she was about to say something sarcastic but was cut off by his frustration. “How would you like it if I told everything to Wenhan??”

She chuckles, amused at the thought. “He knows everything about me. Which reminds me, you should go before he gets here—“

“I don’t care, I have your time, he can wait.” Bohyun was stressed. He wasn’t sure how to come to terms with it all. “I just don’t understand how you’d be swayed so easily.“

“Excuse me, she’s the one who showed up unannounced and somehow got lost at a security area. Don’t blame me,” she rolls her eyes at the thought. Of course you’re going to choose someone you deeply care for. “It’s either I call the cops or kill her—“

“That’s not funny—“

“Yes but you know you would’ve done the same thing if our lives are breached by an outsider.”

“How long will you keep thinking she’s an outsider??” He argues, slamming a hand on her desk. Minseo doesn’t budge but she does stop her work to pay full attention. It’s rare to see Bohyun in such an agitated state. “Can’t you just trust her? I don’t understand why you’re adamant of our relationship. It’s not very nice.”

“You already know how I feel about Elena, that was never a secret between us.” She prompts a hand on her cheek, trying to be of comfort some way. “She’s a lovely girl. but you know she was going to find out one way or another and her curiosity got the best of her. Did you think I want that? Did you know why she was there in the first place? She wanted to surprise me and give a lunch box for the book party next week. In the right place at the wrong time, she … found out.”

Bohyun’s annoyance falls through, his palms cover his face and slides it down in annoyance. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“You’re frustrated. I get it. I’m sorry you had to find out this way though.”

Minseo sits in silence with a thin-lipped smile, waiting for him to say something else. She lets him be for awhile before he decides to figure it out on his own. they escort each other to the lobby, with their stance holding power over each of their perspective specialties. Both were children of the rich and powerful.

“I can’t believe she saw you… Id feel less bad if it was me.” His hands dig in his pocket with a huff. “I’m still glad you’re both okay.”

“She won’t talk. I know that for a fact.” She looks up to him with a smile as they leave the elevator. “Can’t wait for next week though.”

Bohyun rolls his eyes, seeing how out of touch this reality was for someone not in their world. He was looking at his watch to kill time and finding ways to make amends with Elena. Minseo smiles for show again and himself— well— in a civil smile.

“I promise not to get Elena in any trouble. So long as she doesn’t do anything…” She holds out her pinky for him to take, and he links his with it. “I promise.”

“Yeah yeah, just— just at the party, please be nice… you can get a bit scary with that…”

“That— I can’t promise compliance.”

[uninvitedawn]

how does your muse carry emotions ?

ANGER — jaw clenching , hands balling into fists , teeth grinding, yelling , going nonverbal , vocalizations , stuttering speech , rushed speech , slow concise speech , rambling , quiet , arms crossing , shaking head , curling lip upwards , baring teeth , tearing up , animated , expressionless , projects , internalizes , vents , withdraws , tighter movements , passive-aggressive , direct , physical outbursts , verbal outbursts , pacing , going still , anger boils over in the heat of the moment but cools down quickly afterwards , anger brews slowly but lingers longer , will act out of impulse when angry , will stew on their anger and plot revenge , holds grudges , forgives easily , forgives but never forgets

JOY — easy smiles , fighting back grins , suppressed laughter , loud laughter , giggles , chuckling , smirks , whole body laughs , covers mouth when laughing/giggling , throws head back when laughing , slaps leg , touches people around them when laughing , looks down when laughing , looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes , bubbly happiness , quiet subtle happiness , obnoxious happiness , wants to spread joy , quietly savors joy

SADNESS — crying , bottling it up , seeking distractions , wallowing , meditating and processing , avoidance , seeking out comfort , withdrawing , swallowing thickly , talking it out , internalizing it , sad smiles , depression naps , using alcohol , using drugs , seeking out sources of joy , fidgets with sentimental item , sits in silence , broods , gets moody , wants someone to share the misery , tries to hide negative emotions , nurtures others to make themselves feel better

EMBARRASSMENT / SHAME — blushing , looking away , rubbing at the back of the head , running a hand through hair , clearing throat , covering the face , laughing nervously , laughing it off , overthinking , letting it go , self-deprecating humor , deflecting , getting irritated , smiling , withdraws , crossing arms over the stomach , crossing arms over chest , hands in pockets , shoulders sinking , shrugs , falling into silence until comfortable again , talking a lot to compensate

GUILT — avoiding eye contact , shoulders sinking low , head hanging down , crying , chest aches , lashing out , internalizing , apologizing , deflecting , communicating , withdrawing , grand gestures for forgiveness , accepting fault easily , punishing themselves , martyrdom , victim complex , over-active guilt complex , healthy conscience , internalizes even after forgiveness , seeking redemption , moves on easily , denial , shuts off empathy to cope , lack of guilt / conscience , sorry they got caught more than caused harm , can’t handle knowing they hurt others

FEAR / ANXIETY — trembling , crying , sarcasm / sass to cope , humor to cope , rambles , going quiet , going nonverbal , getting angry , fidgeting , freezing up , impatience , clenching jaw , picking at nails , chewing at the lip , pulling at clothes , adjusting jewelry / clothing / hair , pacing , swallowing thickly , eyes widening , over - reacts , under - reacts , calm , logical , panic , irrational, overthinks , carefully analyzes , talk to themselves , breathing exercises , flight , fight , withdraw , fawn

tagged by: @amoresins 

tagging: @antiresolution  @051688 @minseologs @weineries  @shelikeswongkarwai

[uroborosymphony]

       @051688 liked for a one liner !

"Whenever I decide to disappear, run away, you are the one to come and find me. Is this your magic, as the Author, have you trapped me in your pages for me to never fully escape?."

[petricur]

🍫

quietly hand over a treat/food item  ➝ @051688

Ever since a particular conversation took place months back on a night where Yohan was drunken and vulnerable, where he would wield his feelings of heartbreak only to hurt himself even more, the quarreling two found peace. Recently on a rooftop restaurant for a hearty brunch meal on a Sunday morning, where truths shed off like callusses off the palm of their hands. And while that memory is not a gratifying one, he holds onto it, for he was not neglected a listening ear. He feels silly having to strip himself from the "stiffness", to live off a life where he's not meant to "hold" himself back. Lately, he's been a wreck and while his body manifests his composure, his insides vex the thoughts of his future and ailments of the past. Bohyun examines Yohan through his specs and throws him smile. "What is it?" Yohan's train of thought is interrumpted, it causes a sharp exhale to leave his lungs before he shifts his gaze to Bohyun. His eyes remained naturally lidded but his lips curled into a smile, evidently vocalizing his next inquiry in a teasing tone.

"Have you come to care for me?"

"Good to see your crush for me is going strong." Bohyun says in a reciprocating tone, and a teethy grin. To add to his role-play Bohyun scoops some of the remaining crème brûlée and holds it for the younger male to taste. "Open up, 자기야~" Yohan's smile fades and his face drops a death glare at the older male.

"Shut the fuck up."

[shelikeswongkarwai]

[ of clapperboards and ]

ft. @051688 in another au because they won’t let us rest

Elena has no idea how she landed this gig. One of the assistants to an up and coming Korean actor? Especially when her grasp of the language had days where it was dubious at best? She had a friend who knew a guy who worked for another guy— all she wanted was work and she loved film and its inner workings. And rent needed to be paid. And apparently they wanted a foreigner on board, something about the emerging jdrama market… all she really heard was that she’d be on staff for some emerging heartthrob. 

The first time she met him, she didn’t really see it. Sure, he was tall and broad and had teeth, but she couldn’t help but wonder just how well this Ahn Bohyun character would do. And yes. In this verse they have the same names still. What about it?

She’d been braced and fed horror stories and the importance of keeping her distance and keeping things strictly professional. It was all a bit intimidating at first, being at someone’s beck and call, but the more experienced staffers acclimated her to the routine of things and gently corrected her Korean. The first time she got to join him on set with some other staffers, she begun to understand. 

It was some variety show that involved getting answers wrong and being thrown into water…? At least that’s what Elena could gather. It looked freezing. And harrowing. They got to watch most of it behind the production crew and during breaks they scuttled forward with towels and snacks and concerned looks. What got to her was his attitude. He was chipper. Unwavering in his grins despite his costume being soaked through and any and all hair products long gone from his matted hair. She remembered the way he smiled in thanks when she brought him a water bottle and she got to thinking that maybe he had a shot in this whole hallyu business. 

But of course, a few months later and she’s reminding herself: “He’s nice to everyone.” Because he is. It didn’t matter where you landed in the food chain, Bohyun had kindness to spare for everyone, even when there were no cameras around. It was mildly distressing when she noticed herself staring and sifting through magazines for his latest shoot. She’d even gone out of her way to buy his photobook, knowing good and well she could have just asked management for one. But she wanted to support him. And more importantly and urgently, wanted no one to know that sometimes her face went hot when he’d ask for her by name and ask her of her weekend as she struggled to remember why she’d gone to him to begin with. 

The worst was when he’d speak to her in her native tongue. Because of course he’s still multilingual and near perfect in this verse too, he wouldn’t be him if he weren’t. The first time it happened it was unexpected and a couple hours into a party they had thrown him after the last day of shooting for one of his recent dramas (something where he played a jerk and had to dye his hair— he couldn’t wait to go back to black). She realized pretty quickly into the gig that his staff adored him and found any excuse to celebrate his achievements, and this was no different.

She recalled nursing the same beer all night, she couldn’t imagine drinking on the job despite everyone shedding their usual formalities and relaxing, and somehow standing before the massacred congratulatory cake when he joined her. He smiled that big smile of his and asked her in well practiced Japanese, if she wanted a slice. Her mouth dropped. And he barked out a laugh, unfazed by her shock as he explained he’d taken an interest in the language back in secondary and was mostly self taught. Elena’s blood boiled: no human could be this perfect. She chugged from her beer at the notion.

He proceeded to cut her a slice and they continued to speak in Japanese, allowing her to unfurl and relax before she’d even realized it, and they sat on the floor across from each other volleying questions to each other like: “What’s your favourite book?”, “Why’s Merde your favourite short from ‘Tokyo!’?”, “Do you plan on doing this forever?” just to name a few. You can go ahead and make guesses as to who asked what. 

After that, she was a bit of a goner. For as young as she was, she was serious about her work and maintaining professionalism and respecting boundaries— yet there was only so much she could do about the wavering fist in her belly when they’d share a wave down a hallway or laugh at a tiktok between takes. Elena understood that he was a nice man, a good man, and that she couldn’t take anything to heart. She was just a kid after all finding her way in the world that was show business. 

With his growing fame came the rumours.

One week his female costar was supposedly in love with him and the next, he was apparently courting his model cast mate from a variety appearance the week before. They always found it amusing when the stories would pop up and as his staff they’d make it their mission to find the most ridiculous rumours online and show it to him. Bohyun was always tickled by them. Elena wished she could relate. Instead she went into private dives at home, skewering herself as she tried to find the source of these rumours and if there was any semblance of truth. It wasn’t as if she could ask him herself. That would be ridiculous. 

Nearly a year into the job and suddenly one of the rumours are true. Pictures are plastered all over the internet one random night of Bohyun leaving the apartment of a well known (and beautiful and talented) idol and even more disconcerting is the confirmation from both their companies that the two are in fact dating and doing so quietly and happily. The office is abuzz and the group chat doesn’t stop ringing from exclamations and assertions from the other staff that they knew it! A man like him couldn’t possibly be single and any girl would be lucky to date him. They were a very loyal team as you can see. The tight fist returned to her belly but this time it had morphed into a boulder and she wanted to barf all over everything.

She knew they were right. It made more sense that he was in a relationship, he was always being teased and prodded about his type and when he’d land himself a girlfriend and here he was, and she didn’t have it in her to celebrate with the rest of the team. 

She wasn’t an actress for a reason. She was terrible at pretending.

The next time she saw him, it's a few days after the announcement at their offices after what looked to be a meeting, she could barely catch his eyes when she wished him a perfunctory congratulations and tried to excuse herself with record speed. But unfortunately they were headed in the same direction and he had longer legs and gained on her in a few steps. 

“Elena-yah, where are you off to in such a hurry?” Suddenly she hated the honorific but couldn’t help but slow anyway because she liked her job (andmaybeshelikedhimew). 

“……cafeteria? Couple of the unnies want some coffee.” That wasn’t an entire lie. No one had actually asked for the drinks, but she knew they wouldn’t turn them down, and she couldn’t tell him she was trying to get away from him. 

“I’ll help. You can’t be expected to carry all that on your own.” She hated that he’d reverted to Japanese and that it made her palms sweat. 

“No, no, don’t worry. It’s not a lot. Don’t you have somewhere to be? Doesn't.... this place seem louder since the news?" She internally winced. Why had she brought it up? She didn’t want to and it wasn’t her business to begin with. 

She couldn’t see his bemused expression as he peeked down at her as they walked. “It’s almost as if no one can believe I could land someone like her. Am I so hideous?” When she shot him a look, she saw that familiar playfulness behind his eyes and tried not to gulp. 

“….if anything, she’s the lucky one.” She mumbled, coughing right after and pulling out her phone in an attempt at nonchalance. Like I said, Elena was a terrible actress. 

He does in fact help her with her improvised coffee order and they carry it back to the staff room, greeted with cheers and the delighted twitters of the team as he was bombarded with congratulations and hushed curiousity. Elena wanted no part in it, if that wasn’t obvious already, so she scurried into a corner and pretended to be preoccupied with the schedule. She popped her airpods in so she couldn’t overhear a thing. 

The months went on just like this. To everyone’s surprise, the new couple was heralded by all and fans from both sides were simply excited for the pair— it was so unlike the usual reception such announcements received. It figured his would be unprecedented, Elena thought, trying her damndest not to roll her eyes at all the praise lauded their way. She was only human. A young one with a crush at that. It was clear to all of them that he was happy. Happier than usual? She couldn’t be sure. But there were less impromptu team get togethers that he was available to show up for with his schedule filled to the brim to begin with, never mind the coordinating they were all sure it took for an idol and actor of their calibre. But leave it to Bohyun to find a way, they all thought. 

It was hard to be the jealous little gremlin that she was when everyone else in the office was so happy for the beautiful couple. She couldn’t disagree. They were picture perfect. 

In those months her Korean had improved and she was entertaining first and second dates. Her excuse had always been work and being too busy for such things out here, but if someone like Bohyun could do it, why couldn’t she? She wasn’t dumb. She was well aware she was trying to fan away the childish feelings in her chest by going out to dinner with a burgeoning model and by traipsing the night market with a university student. She couldn’t help it. Elena needed the distraction, more importantly, she needed something else, anything else, to replace the cloying crush. On the bad days, she’d search his name on Naver and scroll the onslaught of candids of the couple and the countless articles seemingly outlining every supposed aspect of their public relationship. They really did look good together. There was no denying that. But she couldn’t help but wonder what they talked about for hours on end and if she loved cinema as much as he did, and if she’d noticed the mole precariously positioned low on his torso, and if she knew that he snored when he was drunk, and if she’d seen his scars, and if she loved to camp as much as he did, and if they kissed like high schoolers with their first crush, and if—

“Earth to Elena… anybody home?” A voice cut through her cacophony of thoughts and she stirred to be met with the crinkled amusement of the very subject of her thoughts, face suddenly hot as she instinctively pulled back. He stole a look down at the phone in her hands and remembering that it was open to a slew of images of him and his girlfriend, she shoved the device between her legs. 

“Ah— sorry. Kind of zoned out there for a minute. Didn’t get much sleep last night,” she feigned a yawn. That was only half true. She was the nocturnal type and rarely got the recommended eight hours of sleep, but any excuse would do. 

Something that might be considered a grin played with his lips at that, and he straightened up once more, watching the young staffer, musing in playful Japanese. “I’ve heard a certain Japanese woman has been seen out on a number of dates recently. Have your suitors been keeping you out late?” 

If she thought her face was hot then, it was lava under the earth’s crust now. Mouth dry, what was she to say? Sensing her embarrassment, the actor laughed and patted the top of her head with one of his gargantuan hands. 

“I’m happy for you, Elena-yah. You’re young. You should be out there having fun.” Ah, yes. A reminder of their age gap. Just what the young woman needed. 

“…..I’m not that young.” She pouted, truly showcasing her youth. He could easily pass for someone in his mid to late twenties and she consistently envied the actor’s skin care. 

He laughed again, he did that often around her, and she watched his broad back disappear around the corner before slamming her head face first on the desk. She prayed for a concussion or at least memory loss. 

Neither of those things occurred though. 

But what did was a fan coordinated celebration that consisted of balloons and cake and gift baskets and a coffee truck set up behind their offices with Bohyun’s face plastered all over it. The news that he had landed the leading role in his first movie was official and everyone was happy. He’d earned his success. Even if there was no doubt people claiming it had something to do with his high profile relationship— they all knew back in the office just how much work he had put into his career. Bohyun rarely rested, going from one project to the next after wrapping. He was constantly invited onto variety shows and wasn’t the type to ever say no. 

The coffee truck drew many fans during the day but at night when things had quieted down, they could steal away downstairs and grab some drinks before it closed. They were amused by it all. Even the cups had his face on it, each one displaying one of his many roles. It was easy to see the thought and care that had gone into the gift. 

Elena wasn’t really one for coffee but she couldn’t pass up a cup with his face on it either. But as fate had it, as she rounded the corner towards the truck, she spotted two very familiar silhouettes stood in front of the truck. She could spot them from a mile away. They looked exactly like the candids she’d scoured online and suddenly her stomach wanted to cave in on itself. It figured the one time she pretended to like coffee he would show up with his girlfriend. 

She ducked back behind the corner and peeked out from the wall, she doubted they’d seen her. He was probably showing off the sweet gesture from his fans, not that she could hear them from where she was, but she could infer. The smaller form was dressed in a long dark coat and her hair was pulled back and even under the dim light, Elena knew she was beautiful. Half the globe knew that already. She couldn’t help but laugh to herself. Her crush had always been a dumb notion to begin with, immature and silly in its conception. He wasn’t even her type. All mainstream and broad shoulders— she liked rough edges and nicotine stained fingers. The two forms drew closer, a long arm winding around a tiny back, and that’s when she knew. 

The next few weeks were spent job hunting. This had always been a temporary gig in her mind, a crazy opportunity, and one she’d always be grateful for. Elena knew she wasn’t cut out for this business, but it had been fun while it lasted, and she’d met some of the best people she could ever ask for. Her original intent was to look for something out of show business entirely but the lead staffer recommended her to a producer friend of hers instead. He often worked on the sets of variety shows and the older woman had noticed how transfixed Elena had been whenever they’d end up on one. With praise she felt unworthy of, the producer offered her a place on his crew and the entire thing was bittersweet. 

She handed in her two weeks notice with the condition no one was told. When her unnie (she was the youngest, they all had her calling them unnie) asked if it had to do with Bohyun, Elena balked and couldn’t hide the feelings on her face. She was kind about it, told her it was all a part of being young, and made her swear to visit. She swore. 

For some reason or another, her last two weeks involved frequent sightings of the actor. He was preparing for his film and constantly in and out of the offices for meetings and what looked to be rehearsals. He was the type to bring his script in and read it whenever he had a moment to himself. She found herself walking in on him hunched over the script in his seat or stood in a corner lost in his own world, mouthing back words to himself. She liked his focused expression best. He was unguarded like this. Mouth soft, gaze preoccupied. It certainly didn’t help the feeling in her chest but what was the harm in memorizing a little bit? 

On her last day she begged them not to throw a party, especially not in the office, which she only managed by agreeing to celebratory drinks after work which was really code for getting drunk and crying into her peach soju because she’d miss her unnies. 

“See you tomorrow!”

“Yeah, see you... don’t overwork yourself. I can see your eyebags from here, you know.” It’s been a few months and she’s hunkered down in the back office of the studio, thumbing through the stunts planned for the rest of the week. She didn’t have the final say, obviously not, but her opinion had some stock and she liked knowing what to expect for the next series of shoots. Working on a show was entirely different from working for an actor, there was a stability to knowing she’d be in the same studio day in and day out. She couldn’t tell if that was better yet. 

Elena didn’t mind being one of the last people left behind, it was quiet this way, and she could muffle her thoughts with the ticking of the clock on the wall and the electrical boops and beeps filtering in from across the hall. 

“Do they not say goodbye where you’re from?”

She’d know that voice from a mile away at any timbre. The sort of voice she hadn’t heard in person for quite some time now. But she could hear it on television and had it wash over her only just last week in the movie theatre. This time it was riddled in what almost sounded like disappointment and her breath stalled in her throat. 

“…no.” Elena hated how sheepish she sounded. A tremor of shame. 

There’s a long and suffocating silence that allows her to fully take in the man that looks exactly the same from the last time she’d seen him. He’s suddenly stood in the doorway, like in one of her ill timed dreams, he must’ve just gotten off work, it’s a public space, and the studio’s known to share with other other shows and chances are he's just finished another appearance promoting his new film. But what does it matter?

The last time had been two months back in fact, on her last day at the office (he didn’t know that), he joined in step with her on the way to the cafeteria and asked if he could eat with her. It had been some time. As if she’d say no. Especially not on that day of all days.

She dreaded being alone with him those days, struggling to keep from mentioning the obvious, the elephant in the room. But by the time they’d filled their trays and found a table outside with the umbrellas, some of the familiar ease had returned. He spoke to her in Japanese, while she replied in Korean (they both needed the practice), and she considered telling him the truth, reveal that she was leaving— but he laughed like a boy who had caught his first fish at her badly recited Korean pun, and she couldn’t risk ruining it. 

“Are you happy?” The question felt like lightning in the present day and she shrugged, the tears she’d tried to blink back suddenly falling. Incriminating. The silence expanded like a balloon. 

“….are you?” She finally whispered. He shrugged too. 

“It’s funny what we can get used to. I keep walking around corners thinking I’ll see you.”

“….must be a relief when you don’t.”

“If only.”

If only encompassed too much and took up the entirety of the inside of her chest and he must’ve noticed because he crossed the rest of the distance between them and knelt beside the desk. A large hand suddenly swamped the left of her cheek. Her face really. She wondered if he could feel her heartbeat through her skin. 

“If only I'd seen it.” She shook her head, definitive, well aware that if she were to speak she’d sob. “If only you’d told me you were leaving. Why was I the last to know? Why was everyone wary about telling me you’d quit the next day like they were walking on eggshells?” She didn't want to look him in the eyes but there was no helping it and emotions swam in his dark gaze that she wondered if they were reflected in her own. Regret coloured his tongue. 

“I didn’t think you’d notice if I was gone.” His brows furrowed in disbelief and she was just impressed with herself for getting it together long enough she managed to croak out the words. 

“Elena-yah.” Two months since the last time she heard that. It almost sounded like admonishing but his fingers grazed the skin beneath her mouth, hand still cradling her cheek, and every actress she’d envied before was now her. “May I?”

“…But you’re…”

“Not anymore. It’s a secret.” 

“…if only.” She echoed. Their timing was the worst. It almost made her want to laugh but instead she watched him near through her swimming gaze and the warm slide of his lips on hers popped the balloon in her chest. She could taste the salt of her tears which meant he could too but they kept kissing. 

And that was all it remained. A bittersweet kiss tinged in salt that thrummed of hello and goodbye. She knew better than to hope for the impossible. He was a star on the steady path of global fame and she was lucky enough to afford rent most months. There was no future in people like them making it together, even if she could still feel the ghost of his breath when he'd flicker across her television screen or she'd hear whispers in the hallways of his appearance as a special guest.

Part of her heart had broken off and gone with him that day but Elena didn't regret it. She wanted Bohyun to keep it, whether or not he knew it was even there. Her happiness for him was genuine, even when the guy she'd gone on a third date with let it slip that he was his favourite actor and asked if she'd ever met him. The way Elena saw it, he was just another one of those actors she heard about from time to time through the grapevine, and everything she had heard was good.

No one else in the world would know about their kiss and the if only sealed away between them. Some things were better off kept behind half closed office doors.

[shelikeswongkarwai]

[ vending machine redux ]

ft. @051688 / this just came out of me randomly this morning (you’ll be able to tell lol)

The train pulls away but she’s not on it when it does. Not anymore. The clawing in her belly, the anxious strum of heat in her chest— it compels her to get off at the last minute in the hopes that when she races back, he’ll still be there. She doesn’t know that for sure. But at least she can say she tried, can’t she? Jaw clenched, she’s nearly out of breath, but she’s made it back outside and the entrance is empty but for stragglers now. She sighs. Her belly cramps. But then she sees him. His back has grown smaller as he returns back the way they came, and she has just enough juice left in her to catch up to him and punch his shoulder from behind.

“Oi!” The shock is blatant on his face but so is what she thinks might be relief behind his eyes. But perhaps she’s just projecting. Whatever the case, she’s catching her breath now and uselessly points at him in childish frustration. “Why didn’t you stop me? I wanted you to stop me.”

She knows things are a lot more complicated than that. For all her youth, she’s not stupid, just twenty two. She knows what the ring on his finger means, but a part of her can’t help but wonder about the pull between them either. He looks torn. He’s looked that way for most of the night but it only truly hit her as she settled into an empty seat on the train what it meant. Because she saw the same expression reflected on her own face as she peered out the window.

“…drinks at mine?” The nerves have returned as she swallows and deflates. It hits her that maybe she’s messed up. She’s just missed her last train. Because of a man. Granted, not just any man— a married man. She can hear her friends’ admonishment already in her ears.

Time slows as he stares. She knows he’s thinking, it’d be weird if he weren’t, she thinks she’d reconsider everything if he didn’t take pause. But then he nods and he’s hailing down a taxi as nerves are replaced with relief then the hyper awareness that she’s getting into a taxi with a stranger and giving her address. Well, not a real stranger. There was an ease. A familiarity in the space of the night as they talked at the bar, and she tried her hardest not to stare at his hand because then she’d see the ring again and her conscience would tell her to stop.

The ride is awkward. Just a little bit. Maybe because their knees brush together or maybe because the passing streetlights dance across his face and she can tell they’re both stealing glances when they think the other’s not looking. At a red light though, they catch each other’s eyes and she laughs. She can’t help it. She feels a little silly but it’s freeing in a way because he laughs too and finally some of the tension dissipates.

Finally at her apartment, he paid the fare which made her huff and he called it cute, she warns him as she unlocks her door. “I hope you like dogs. She’s harmless. But big.” There’s a good chance the doberman is asleep at this time of night, but she can never be too sure. She offers him slippers and is happy to see she hadn’t left her apartment in too big of a mess before hurrying out this morning.

She knows he’s taking everything in as she wanders off to the kitchen for glasses and whatever liquor she has left. “Nice place you got.” She grins to herself, he’s being nice. It’s fine. It does the job for a girl living on her own in Tokyo. The only saving grace is all the personalization, pictures strewn across the wall and countertops, vinyls and books littered together, figures propped in a corner that her dog can’t get to— it’s home.

She pours them some whiskey, a gift from her manager, and gestures for him to sit on the couch. The lamp partially lights up the room, but the bulb’s dying. Sat beside him again, she tries to pretend it’s like the bar, but that’s difficult with no one else around and the very little space left between them glaringly obvious to her thigh.

But they return to talking, hushed, the ease eventually creeps back in and before she knows it, she’s turned to face him, legs crossed on her couch, nursing a half drunk glass, cheeks hurting from how hard she grins.

“Just admit it. You’re old and out of touch. It happens to the best of us— not me though.” She teases, a little too proud, enabled by the amusement in his look but something else flashes there. She can’t make it out fast enough because suddenly he’s much closer than before, faces so close she can feel his breath on her nose and count his lashes if she tried.

That look’s returned. That torn expression she’s come to recognize. She wonders if she looks up at him the very same. She wonders if he can hear the high speed fluttering of her heart, it races so fast, she thinks it might careen out of her chest. There’s a part of her that wants to close the gap entirely. But another part that knows by getting off the train and stopping him, she’s done her part. All she can do now is wait. Sit and stare in the dark.

“This feels like a dream. What if I kiss you, only to wake up?“ Her eyes squeeze shut. What he describes sounds like a nightmare. When she wakes up, she wants to wake up knowing this was all real. Maybe he senses that trepidation. Or maybe she’s just full of it. But one second he’s married and the next he presses something small and hard in her hands. Before she can ask what, he meets her halfway and kisses her.

It’s just like his books. She feels like Annora that first time her lips graze Gerold’s and she shakes because this isn’t what real life is supposed to be like and maybe he’s right maybe it is a dream which means she better hold on tight or else she’ll forget this ever happened.

They kiss and they kiss until one of them has to catch their breath and then they kiss again; a big hand around her neck, long fingers clenched in his hair. What feels like hours pass just like that and they somehow have the wherewithal to keep every other part of their bodies to themselves. Probably because they know if they dare risk any more, any lower, that there’s no coming back from what they’ve just done.

She feels sixteen again, kissing in cars until it’s time for them to head home. But she’s already home. And his wedding ring is fisted so hard in her left hand, she almost wishes it would disintegrate. But she’s not nearly strong enough. And that’s probably for the best because they finally have it in them to stop, their breaths are shallow and hard and fill the silence of her apartment as she wordlessly puts it back on his finger.

No harm, no foul right?

Her lips hurt, she can tell they���re swollen, but it’s the good kind of ache. The kind she’ll dredge up to the forefront of her mind when she feels like remembering the electricity struck between their mouths and the electric wire that was his tongue tasting her own.

“Stay the night.” Her voice is smaller than she likes, she sounded a lot more confident in her head, but her vocal cords apparently hadn’t gotten the message. A calloused thumb runs over the jut of her lower lip, it’s like a silent apology but she hopes he doesn’t apologize because she’s not sorry.

“I can’t be trusted.” He says simply.

“I trust you.” Dark eyes follow her mouth when she speaks and soon they’re back on her own, they glitter sharply under the dimmed light of her lamp. She sucks in a shaky breath. Fingers cradle her chin and it hits her that she doesn’t have it in her to stop him if he kisses her again. Even if it means he’s wearing his ring this time.

Her eyes flutter shut but the tension is suddenly broken by a familiar bark and the click of paws on the floor. She laughs to herself. He stiffens, caught off guard. But her dog is as friendly as they come and she’s curious and immediately takes to him, and he to her, she’s always been a Casanova. She could learn a thing or two from the easily excitable animal.

The rest of the night involves him cradling her dog between them and her feigning disbelief that she’d steal his attention like that. It was probably for the best. Who knows what they may have gotten up to otherwise. He does end up staying the night, but he sleeps out on the couch, and she stares at her open doorway hoping he’ll appear. But he never does. And she knows that’s for the best too.

Morning comes and he’s gone, but he’s left her a well made breakfast waiting for her on the table and the book she’d been reading last night signed with a note tucked between the pages that read: ‘So it wasn’t a dream. I’d almost hoped it was. Maybe it’s better this way, because I don’t deserve you yet. But on the off chance I do someday and you find yourself in the Big Apple, call me.’ A number that isn’t from Japan is tacked on at the end and she’s mindlessly typing it into her phone over and over again while she nibbles on the pancakes he made.

She has to make it to New York. She can’t afford not to.

[minseologs]

Perspective Compliance pt.1

@051688 @shelikeswongkarwai

“Miss Choi, the investors are looking in to giving new proposals for possible locations in the southeast,” her eyes look at the portfolio, idly- with little interest. “but the board of directors —“

“I received the letter.” She abruptly interrupts. “They don’t think I’m fit for duty any more… right now, at least.”

The woman quietly averts her direction else were.

“Do you agree with them?”

“They requested a meeting with you in a few hours..”

Out of anxiousness in confronting her own team (supposedly), she could only gather the papers she refused to acknowledge for the time being. She looks out to the view overlooking the city from her office space. For a moment, she was an untouchable. It felt like nothing mattered.

~

“I want to know the board’s proposal to remove me from operations,” she requests in a stern manner, yet remained level-headed with her tone. “The letter didn’t state the grounds of this request and I wanted to know from all of you.”

The group of older men and women look at each other with hesitation. She can feel six pairs of eyes on her, at least. It seemed as if no one wants to say anything due to the way hierarchy is placed at work. Despite her young age, she was still the one who controls everything right now.

“If no one answers me, I can’t make a decision.”

Someone— finally decides to speak up. It was an older gentleman who seemed afraid to do so. He was here when his father first took position.

“Miss Choi, the board decided—“ a pause. For what minseo thought was dramatic effect. “There’s just… too much news, about you—“

“I’ve told our publicity that I avoid those things and more so— these reports aren’t of my reach.”

“Yes but at this point, it’s outside of business.” One argues. Two agrees.

“I can’t control that—“

“You carry the company’s name regardless.” Cautiously, the room had became even more tense. “Miss Choi. We just urge you to step away from company duties until further notice…”

“I read the papers. There’s a chance that if I step down every charitable deed I do will be—“

“They are not part of business—!”

“Says who—“

“Your father.”

Minseo slams her fist on the desk. It startles everyone in the room but they hold their ground. Her palm tightens, trying all attempts to remain calm.

“Those charities are keeping your asses on this very same seat. Touch them and I’ll make you regret ever working for me. ” Muttering coldly, everyone felt disrespected with her choice of words. “If you really want me to leave— even temporarily— it will be under my terms, and under my right. You can’t deny all works I’ve done in the company. It’s no longer my father’s, not even Hyeseo. You are all just the board and I won’t settle for your terms.”

“We can vote—“

“Then I can remove you.” Was it a power trip? Certainly. Minseo stood her ground and inhaled a sharp breath. “My decision is final and I hope you think it through. I’m fighting what’s rightfully mines. What’s out of my control can’t be helped, all I need from all of you is trust.”

By trust, they were all part of a stock that benefits their current, lavish lifestyle all due part with business in the surface, and underground. No one wants to leave, and most did not want to lose the dependency over dirty money.

-

Minseo became wary about her surroundings to the point where she takes extra caution of her surroundings. She was like a rat looking for food that didn’t exist until it’s hit with with a sudden jackpot of a rotten meal. The meal? it was her safety.

This wasn’t the first time someone had attempted to go in for a kill. Though Minseo was strong enough to keep herself safe until back up arrives, she can still be overpowered and her fighting style is messy from previous injuries she had sustain over the past decade. Agile but frail. The scuffle at the private hall leading to her vehicle was short of security, and she knew it’s about to get violent before she could alarm someone that she was in danger.

“I never understood why you’re always hated,” the man didn’t look familiar as she gets her stance ready, for whatever he was about to do. It was then when the sharp edge of a knife was seen taken out of his pocket. “It’s nothing personal.”

She stood her ground with nothing but a purse to protect herself.

“I know.”

The man lunges quickly, aiming directly to her face before she managed to dodge and use the strap of her bag to attempt a disarm. It fails and she finds herself being tossed to the ground with force. His knife stabs to the direction of her face once more but she blocks with both hands, proceeding to bite his knuckle as hard as she could before he backs away. She looks of what could be useful in the spilled items from her bag, and only her pen looked feasible.

Minseo grabs the pen in a hand, which earns a chuckle from the other, menacingly trying to get a hit multiple times but was blocked diligently on her own accord. She was over powered before the sharp edge touches her thigh. There was a pained scream rupturing from her throat the also ensues her stronger will to survive at that point. The grip on the pen becomes stronger and it was her turn to attack. Just like her, she fails but manages to toss the pen and to take the weapon away from the other’s after a brief kick on the man’s chest the sends him stunned to the wall. She wastes no time lunging for the man’s side as to what she could reach, before aiming to the side of his throat. Deep red gushes out of his mouth and all over her face, with him trying to fight back even to death.

“it's quick,” she mumbled, the knife going deeper. “Nothing personal…”

“…..mooncake..?"

She snaps her head to reality— the nickname, only familiar from a person recently. Her horrified face disarms Minseo’s survival instinct, much more to say the knife in her hands. She gets up with blood from her skin, unsure of where to begin.

Elena..!?

P.2

[minseologs]

[ PAST ]:     a letter which the writer wrote in the past, that reveals a piece of their backstory, that the reader finds and reads out of curiosity. (this could also be a letter written TO the receiver of the meme, or about them, or anything at all!)

𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 // @051688

Dearest Bohyun,

I hope New York is treating you well...

It's been two months now that you left. Still haven't heard from you like you promised. I guess you're really dedicated to your school and work or whatever it is you're doing there, huh? I'm getting worried that this letter will hit a dead end considering you haven't answered my calls. I should've asked for your email too-- or should I try visiting you? Perhaps that's a bit too much. I keep thinking how strange it is now that Hyeseo will get married. Is that why they made you leave? I don't have anyone to talk to as much as I did when you were around. I guess that's kind of a good thing? The family haven't paid much attention to me since they're preparing for it. A ceremony will happen in Shanghai as her husband is a tech guy over there or something. Good for business but unnie and that guy liked each other. I'll be meeting old friends so that's on me to look forward to.

It brings me to the fact the reason why I wanted to write this letter. The time has come that papa chooses who will own the family business. It's no doubt that it will be Hyeseo. Do you remember we were talking about my plans about leaving? You insisted on saying 'running away' but I dont think I'm running away. Just letting go of what's not good for me. I don't really have a plan yet however I wanted to travel first. I wanted to ask if I could start where you are. I'd be more comfortable with it. You can show me around-- I've never been in New York before! I heard it's nice with fancy buildings and such. I'll be graduating university by then, but right now, I'm gathering money knowing papa will probably cut me off... We'll see what happens, yeah?

Anyway, I hope by the time you get this, I'm still okay. I promise you right now I'm not hurt. They're too focused on other things right now anyway...

-Minseo

P.S. missing you dearly. call soon.

[minseologs]

WRITING EXERCISE: RELATIONSHIP LYRIC PROMPTS  

Bohyun: @051688 - Becky G - Dolores (Pains) // “Esa sonrisa tiene mucho detrás, después de lo que te han hecho” (That smile has a lot behind it, after what they’ve done to you)

Is it strange sometimes? The way you know what I’m like behind the scenes?

Perhaps it was the past contract that binds him to her to this day, but Minseo admits that Bohyun’s calculated presence blossomed into a few friendship she held. Or maybe, it was loneliness. He had witness the family’s deceit first hand, and even being an instrument to place a narrative for others.

“Come back to Korea, I’ll make sure to give you a job the moment you step here,” Minseo wasn’t the softest when comforting others, only providing solutions at the immediate chance. It was something she wished she stopped. She wanted to be more empathetic. “Cry it out, but don’t stay there too long, yeah?”

It was the news of a woman who had left, along with traces of a child he thought was his. The confusion, the lonely nights he had to fend for himself. She heard them through the calls they just so happened to make in between her university hours and his neverending book writing. She can only imagine the heartache he held, and wishes she could go straight to New York to comfort him. It wasn’t even for her own satisfaction to help, it was truly something she wanted to do after everything he had done for her in protection from her family. 

I remembered how you smiled at me. When did you get so sad, too?

[minseologs]

❝  so,  what would you be?  if you had to power to change all the things making you unhappy,  what would your life look like?  ❞

IT’S  ALL  ABOUT  THE  YEARNING 

"A dancer."

She attempts to hide the grin from the thought of being something aside what her family expected her to be. It starts to drift away like it always did, and the book in her hand soon turns to just weight in them.

“Sadly, I’m only ever to pursue something like that as a hobby.” Her lips purse as she looks his way. “Something like that is just an accessory in the family. An asset, per se—“

They burst out a laugh with no care in the world. It seemed a familiar topic between them. “You know how it is! The more extracurricular things you have, the more it would seem like you’re of importance before you actually enter the real world, no?”

Her eyes avert towards their reflection of the cafe’s ambiance: gentle from the work and conversations people have between one another, yet rushed from those who come and go with little time they had. Much like the moment, this is the last time they’ll see each other for awhile since he will return to New York with his own life. To think he stayed in her family’s planned way of being in the inner society’s rumor radar for the sake of her safety— Minseo will definitely miss Bohyun’s brotherly presence. He entered her life and is leaving the same way, suddenly -- leaving with endearment.

“Come back once in awhile, okay?” She asks, with hope maybe he will change his mind now. “It was nice talking to someone new in the house without fear of being rattled on.” She taps her cup over his, shortly before she gave an assured smile that she will be able to handle herself. With, or without help.

"I would've been a drifter in some way. In another life, you're probably watching me in the New York City Ballet."

[minseologs]

❄

Christmas Headcannon Meme: You two get snowed in, what events occur?

Minseo would most likely keep Bohyun quiet company, too busy to pay attention to anything but her own duties. Whether be it a simple read of work duties, or simply just existing side by side, she most likely would not speak until he does.

"You can't tell me you find joy in reading numbers all the time." He'd comment.

"You can't tell me you find joy in pulling your hair when you can't think of the next line in your novel." She retorts.

[minseologs]

people’s will pt. 2

— Female, around early 30s found in Incheon pier and no identification. Found with multiple lacerations. Patient currently unconscious. Deformity noted on left clavicle and bullet wound on right upper thigh. Current vital signs: blood pressure 60/48, pulse 50, respiration 15, skin is pale and cold. Treatments: spinal motion restriction and BVM in place per BLS protocol. Requesting immediate trauma surgery. ETA 3 minutes. —

-

“I had a feeling she always knew the severity of her status being in danger,” Her lawyer piles all the paperwork she had taken care of following the process Minseo had left incase she had passed suddenly. She looks at the police officers with a stern look. “She never really mentioned anyone specific coming to get her or the fact that I just didn’t think it’ll be this soon.”

“Would you say were the contents of the will suspicious? Perhaps any major changes that we could speak to about?”

“That information is confidential, however I’d suggest going through everyone she knows. After all we can never be too safe.”

In the wake of Minseo’s attack, many people have found the events out of character but not out of place. In the family’s history, they can recall times where they’ve been in danger even before her existence as they’re placed in high security due to their status with in the business world. It also doesn’t stop the rumors to fly around as fast as it could. One by one, investigators have looked into what suspicious events have led up to the point of today, from friendships to employers— they were all suspects.

-

“It’s been noted that you frequently visited her home for days— some months ago,” the notepad of the officer sat close with possible leads. Xian’s eyes were nonchalant as he nods. “What were you doing there?”

“House sitting.” He was relaxed. Only curious about the other’s scribbling. “She went out of the country for vacation. In Switzerland. She has pictures.”

“Was she traveling or meetings anyone, you think?”

“Not that I know of. She told me it was a vacation.” Xian’s shoulder shrug, though his face didn’t show, he was worried about Minseo’s state knowing he could be where she was instead of waiting for a green light to see her. “Why can't we see her?”

The officers look at him with a dismayed feel, but understanding that the secretive nature of the case placed a toll in others.

“For your own safety as well, perhaps you should avoid her for the time being..."

-

“You were the last message from Minseo,” Bohyun was tense. He’s never been interviewed for information like this, let alone for someone he knew. He was away from all the events as the unexpected phone call is making him plan for the worst. “Before she was taken from her walk.”

“I swear we didn’t really talk about anything—“

“You left a mesage after announcing you didn’t want to speak before hand,” the officer turns back to his notes. “Then a voicemail asking about her conditions. Did you and Minseo have conflict recently? Some eyewitnesses saw you in company grounds arguing before.”

“That was a long time ago— and No.” He was stern, taking a deep breath and huffs out. “We have disagreements as friends. Like all friends do…”

-

His brows furrowed at the folder that was slid from across the table. Minseo’s lawyer following the protocols she was given once more, but Wenhan refused to accept. She counted him as next of kin, giving in to consideration of Minseo's wishes.

“You’re the first person to know—“

“She’s not dead,” he attempts to keep it all in, but his body language had already spoken for him. Tense and irritated. “You give a will when someone is dead— she’s not dead. She’s alive, I know that much. because I didn't see it myself.”

The woman sighs. He was correct, but also wanted to relay information that he needed to get ready “just incase”.

“You’re a possible person of interest, you know.” She mentions with little hesitation. “I believe it could help if you see what’s inside that. You refusing to comment or even give anything is already suspicious. Not to mention the nature of your relationship could be used against you. Neither engaged, married, even together? As far as the investigators think you are just a frequent visitor here.”

“I don’t need to if I don’t want to. They have nothing to prove.” His gaze land at the guards nearby, but it felt as though he wanted to flee from everyone’s stare. “Tell me how she is if you don’t grant me access to see her. How it is. Don’t bullshit me. You owe me that at least.”

“She was found at the docks the family owns. You are one of the people that know that place.” She begins, complying with his request. Wenhan’s irritation turns to a headache, closing his eyes at the thought. “She was shot on her thigh, suffering from a broken collarbone— internal bleeding in her torso. She was found with cuts in her body. Her face is unrecognizable at the moment since the bruises and inflammation are starting. Currently in a state of prolonged unconsciousness but they'll announce the official protocol for a coma if she doesn't wake up by two days; but I’m not sure if she’s making any progress last time I checked so I need you to cooperate because you are the successor she named. For everything domestic concerning about the two of you.”

"If it concerns everything domestic about us, you would let me be where she is," He was still for a moment, not even bearing a thought into thinking if Minseo really did place everything in his hands after he had walked away from his own family's pressure to be the heir, it can't be. The quietness made the woman uneasy. She could only assume what he thought. "It doesn't make sense."

“Fine, I can give supervised meet—“

Wenhan stands abruptly, requesting for a key to get a car ready. He made a quick decision to be there immediately, and the lawyer had no choice but to follow just as fast. To this point on, it was him they had to follow orders from.

-

“She’s alive—“ his lung takes a deep inhale of the cigarette between his hands, looking over his face from the damage she received from Minseo that night. "We can kill her in the hospital. That's fucking easy."

"She's on high watch, let alone they document everyone and everything around her," the woman paces around the rest of the board, looking grim at the thought Minseo will be well enough to name them as the attackers. "I'm gonna leave the fucking country-"

"They're going to come for all of us if our story doesn't line up," the nervousness in the man's voice was grim. "We have to think of something so they don't come closer... I already heard someone is speaking for her so we need to line everything-"

"It's over-"

"You can't just assume other people aren't helping-"

"Do you know how dangerous her family is?!"

"ENOUGH!"

Perhaps it was for the best that they continue to mask the ideology that one of them could run the company next, but the looming threat of being outed as the five that attempted to kill an heiress was also bad. These directors have been with the family even before the daughters could talk, they also knew how vengeful they could get. It was proven after seeing the operation from the inside. They were like experimental rats, waiting to see how they could resolved a botched way out.

"We will give our alibis. Until then, no one backs out, and no one talks to anyone else. Especially those who know her well.."

[minseologs]

“how long have you had that?”

PROMPTS FOR PATCHING UP WOUNDS

"Always."

They were cigarette burns. Faded with time and history of her young self.

"Papa used punish Hyeseo and I when he got too drunk," she quickly covers up her shoulders, feeling the old marks that had also left a slight unevenness on her skin. "Don't worry, it isnt the only scar on my back." She jokes, trying to ease the tension from his face.

"It's okay now, I promise."

[minseologs]

Get to know my character~

dedicated to my #1 ted talk subscribers @antiresolution and @051688

Reblog this so your followers can spam your ask box. Have fun! ♥

(this is long forgive me)

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? - Minseo could roughly meant Calm and Clever! I wanted a character that had an ironic name, so I chose some that had the opposite personality of hers at least. Her original name would’ve been ‘Jiwoo’ which roughly meant ‘With a purpose’ or ‘Universe’ but stuck with Minseo because I wanted to share the ‘Seo’ with her sister, Hyeseo. I also stuck to the lore that ‘Seo’ and ‘Woo’ are ancestral names to their family.

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? - Minseo is a people-pleaser and mildly a perfectionist when it comes to business. She’s very aware of herself, and would usully catch herself before fully immersing in what could be too much for her to handle emotionally, and mentally.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? - Her long legs! and she knows that.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) - She doesn’t technically have a lover, but the person she likes currently is incredibly open, that she knows she can trustwith no questions. Physically, she likes that the person has high cheek bones because it’s like hers, except rounder.

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? - She’s sexually confident, but in a humble way? She’s the type to be confident about her looks, however she doesn’t outwardly put it out there.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? - I dont know. her making a bit of noise on odd times? maybe?

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? - ‘Fufu~’ or she hums alot. in different tones, by the way.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? - that she’s violent. she knows about it because it became diagnosed lately, but she has gotten better controlling it with different outlets like her endless hobbies.

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? - her favorite season is autumn, and favorite holiday is christmas! she likes giving presents and decorating, specially when it comes to lights.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? - she’s more on the masculine side, growing up mildly tomboy and was rambuncious growing up.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? - seeing her loved ones get hurt.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? - Minseo was a technical dancer. She would never give up the habits. you can probably find her prancing about in a walk.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?- She is a light sleeper and the slightest noise will wake her up! I think its because she will always have her guard up. she sleeps military style but wakes up cuddling something near by. An occational sleep talker and mildly insomniac.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? - She currently lives with Wenhan and their pets, Gunbam and Honey, and the guards and caretakers are in the near distance of the property.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. - her father.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? - athletic! she doesn’t like staying still. at least she needs to fidget something if needed. Minseo can play any sport with beginner’s luck.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? - she’d experienced both before (engaged), so no. But she would like to do it all over again if she could. And actually get married.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? Seongbuk house is their family home, it’s acres, which is uncommon living near the city. its a private suburban area, showing wealth around her. Honestly speaking, she would rather have a small space because she isnt a big fan of cleaning.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? Minseo would resort to physical fights only if the civil talking the first time didn’t work. She’s agile, but not too strong. Minseo is skilled in weaponry, however it’s the only time she could be considered strong since she has… a weapon.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? She loves animals! specially sea creatures, because she discovered them as her son loved them growing up. she particularly likes the rays because they look funny underneath. Minseo has one dog at the moment, and taking care of a cat. as for mythical creatures, she would want to see a mermaid.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? - losing a person. she would enter the long stages of denial before finally accepting and moving on.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? She has double earlobe piercing, an industrial and a conch. Her birthmark is located on her hip, a tiny brown spot. Minseo also has a small scar on her lower spine for a surgery she got when she was in an accident as a child.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? She excelled well in school to appease her father, she didn’t do bad at any subjects to maintain this. She excelled well in maths and history as well as the arts. they only ever got in trouble once, and that was when she beat up a student who bullied her. (which was suspiciously erased from her records)

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? “He’s tall, like me. I like to think hes the complete opposite of me, like were mirroring each other. he sort of has a mean face but kind and soft-hearted. tough-looking but playful. in sort of ways, it’s as if we’re always reuniting in life somewhere– I cant quite put my finger into it. I like the way we understand one another with no words. Time simply doesn’t exist if were together. We’re mischievous but chivalrous of it. I look at this person and suddenly become at ease.”

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? her son’s death

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? Minseo hasn’t been intimate with anyone for a long time so I can’t really answer this.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? Surprisingly, Tax Evasion. With multiple businesses, there has to be a slip up somewhere. But shes always on top of everything.

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? Being a chaebol, or a skilled dancer.

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? Leave them. Accept how things are and realize it’s not always her fault.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? All except art making. Her mother was a painter but she’s terrible at making things. Hence, why she has multiple art-making hobbies. She’s currently into glass art, but has been missing a few classes. lol.

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? Yes. She’s a torturer type, psychological and physical. But would only do so if the talking doesn’t solve anything.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? Something simple and filled with activities. Like at a theme park or activity based date. She doesn’t like formal restaurants as she usually goes there meeting business partners.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? Hike somewhere. Neo gave her a location he went to before, and she goes there form time to time. On a hill over looking the city.

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) Starchy foods! She loves italian and japanese, any time of the day. She also likes traditional sweets of any kind. also adventurous when it comes trying, except seafood. she doesn’t like slimy feeling foods.

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? No. She would want to die of old age, if possible.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? Minseo mostly carries psychological conditions, most recently with intermittent explosive disorder. She hates taking medications and finds other ways to deal with it like therapy and meditating. It doesn’t affect her everyday life often, as she figured out ways to keep herself busy. She also had low resting heart rate, which causes her to be lethargic or faint from time to time.

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? people with terrible cleanliness and hygiene.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? cold days. sunshine days, but it has to be breezy. she doesn’t like heat.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? When peole look at Minseo the first time, they would think she’s the typical golden child. Soft, caring and motherly. but no, she’s rambunctious, sometimes mean, and childish.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? Minseo lovessssssssssssss snooping at other people’s business. for some fucking reason, she just cannot mind her own business. she thinks that she can give people a helping hand but ends up delving too much. I think it started when her family always put her aside like she didn’t exist. As far as hobbies, she’s a living a 'jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one’

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? Yes. If she grew up in a loving family, she probably wouldn’t be so two faced. And if her mother lived, she would be loved by her father and sister and wouldn’t seek approval of others.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? Minseo always says she regrets living for others. She is trying to undo that and just honestly living her life. But it’s difficult because she’s afraid of being judged in a poor manner, hence she has a knack to be seen as perfect.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? Yes. Every friend sees minseo as a motherly person but each of them has a different type of motherly. For example, she’s a tough-love kind of person to some, but she’s nurturing to someone else. There’s only a few people who have seen her multiple sides, most of them knowing her underground background.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? her son’s death. she hasn’t been the same since.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? she hides her true emotions. she’s particularly good at hiding it as her father trained her and her sister to ensure putting face on a perfect family. like robots.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? Cook for them. Making a lunch box is her specialty. If Minseo ever made your muse a lunch box, she likes you.

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? Minseo is only outgoing if the other person acknowledges her weird afficianado personality. otherwise, she’s a calm type. Minseo is definitely the leader, but would give the others a chance to lead her. She’s the type to plan things.

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? Minseo gets jealous when a muse divides their time with someone else. She doesn’t do very well with group settings because it reminds her of work, where her presence is split to multiple people. Also envious of people who has their hearts on their sleeves, and always chooses their heart over their heads.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? She used to have nightmares of being killed by her own family. They’re no longer frequent but she’s always tense around them.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? She’s a direct person and doesn’t beat around the bush.

[minseologs]

There is truly only one thing I wanted to experience wholeheartedly without it being ripped away from my grasp. I wanted love— and to love. Everything that I’ve desperately wanted to stay has claw marks of what I fought for. Yet, something in me was saying that I have to figure out if I am someone that is worth to be loved.

Do you know what happens to people like that?

They resort to power; it’s the closest thing they could feel to being wanted.

aesthetic builder - chasing, begging. these are a few things I believe she struggles to cope with. she can't accept the fact that her father was right about her social perimeters regarding being accepted.

tagged by the lovely @antiresolution

tagging: @rngyis @chiaroscurote @liux14n @shelikeswongkarwai @chenosias @imnotsiho @petricur and @051688 anyone else who would like to do it.