#<- um does this count. dont know. my bad if it doesnt

[backtothedisaster]

Is there anything else you want to do?

[suffarustuffaru]

why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

[roseworth]

Opinions on Rose's Ravager outfits? Personally I always feel like she gets screwed over when it comes to outfits. I thought her original outfit was bland, but I'd rather have that than the weird pirate motif DC keeps putting onto her now.

HEAD IN HANDS i just wrote a whole response to this with details of every single one of her costumes then i pressed the wrong button and accidentally deleted ALL OF IT im gonna cry. so im sorry if i forget something because this is the second time im writing this whole thing :(((((

anyways overall i agree her costumes are usually bad. they either dont really fit her vibe or theyre boring or they have way too much going on. there are only a handful that i actually consider Good and most of them are really bad or just kinda nothing

but i put under the cut what i think of all of them:

original costume: BAD

this one falls into the bland category and its just.... not good. like the boob window is so unnecessary, i dont like the mask, and the colors are so nothing, and every detail sucks. i like the boots tbh but other than that. bad.

the same costume but different: better

i like this because it takes some of the good aspects of the other one and keeps them, but then makes it all a lil brighter and gives some more orangey accents. i wish she didnt have the mask at all, i hate it. but when she does have the mask i prefer it when her hair is sticking out the bottom, i dont like it when its all tucked in like in the first pic

the same costume without the mask: <3

im counting this as its own costume just because in the middle of teen titans she goes a while just not wearing the mask at all <3 its so disappointing when she puts it back on after going a bit without it

ok. new 52 time :/

NOWHERE fits: so fucking awful

technically not even ravager outfits but still. everyone point and laugh. the white and green does NOT look good on her and both of these costumes look terrible. especially the first one bc what the fuck is going on with that skirt thing

the ravagers: unfortunate serve

i fucking love this costume, i think this is actually one of my favorites of hers. i think it combines costume + armor really well, and i think that the color scheme really suits her. the art in this book was so fucking pretty and she looked so good every time she showed up. the unfortunate part was every other aspect of this book :/

her worst look: literally fucking terrible no redeeming qualities

girl take that shit off right fucking now i cant be seen with you wearing this. there is not a single part of this fit that looks good. i said the color scheme looked good in the last costume bc the red was kept to accents. there is so much red going on here and thats FAR from the worst part. lets go from head to toe. that mask is literally a travesty, i dont know who thought it was a good idea. the weird collar thing she has going on is so????? then she has the skulls on her shoulder pads, which are bad enough on their own. and why does she have a bazooka on her back. and why does she only have a skull on one knee?????? this is a fucking mess. kory attacks her on sight in this book and i fully believe its because this costume is so ugly she couldnt hold herself back. um. i like the fingerless gloves though i guess

rebirth: hesitant slay...

i hate the mask but other than that its?? fine???? this one used to be my favorite but i dont really like it as much anymore, idk why. i think its trying too hard to be armor and casual at the same time and ends up not looking good. i hate this mask soooo much though, i think the weird thing going on with her eyes makes this the second worst mask behind whatever was going on in the last one. and like you said i think this one relies too much on the pirate motif??? like i appreciate the reference to the eyepatch i guess but i would rather they just give her an eyepatch. like the skulls and the pirate thing seems way out of place and doesnt fit her vibe or the outfits vibe at all and it just looks weird. but other than that this look is. Fine.

defiance: eh

this one isnt technically ravager either but its still a rose costume so im rating it. its very ,,,, fine. like i dont have any problems with it but there isnt anything i particularly like about it. the whole point of the white costumes in this arc was because they were supposed to look wrong and out of place and all so i cant fault it for that, but theres just not really anything going on here its fine for what it is and thats all i can really say about it

willow: SLAY &lt;3 <3

i love this one, probably another one of my favorites. once again the black with red accents suits her so well. and the artist draws it so it doesnt even seem that horny despite the fact that its a lace up crop top and booty shorts <3 she looks so nice and i love the fit thats my girl (gn) ❣️❣️

stormwatch: yeah &lt;3

two screenshots just to point out the fact that she changes costumes halfway through this issue and i want to bully her for it. but this one is nice, its really simple but i think it works, plus shes drawn like an actual adult instead of a 15 year old so i cant complain <3 the skull imagery is very small and doesnt seem to piratey so i still dont love it but i forgive it. this costume is pretty good and i like it overall, its one of her better costumes

and yeah <3 i hope i didnt forget any but uh rose babygirl we have got to get you better costumes. i think the best color for her would be like a reddish orange bc i like the red for her but the orange is kind of Her Color (even though its only because of slade) and i think she should never wear that mask

[yukina-otome]

OPINION ON MCL ALTERNATE LIFE ARMIN EP 3

I rarely if ever talk about MCL on my tumblr, simply because i have stopped playing it long time ago.

But hearing that my first ever otome crush, armin, was coming back, i have decided to play his alternate life route. And i liked everything about it.

The angsty tension of episode 1, the sweet fluff of episode 2. And i had expected i would like episode 3 just as much.

Oh, how wrong i was.

Seriously, the episode started well. Armin and Candy were having a conversation in her room. Alexy comes and Armin hides because.....euh.......just because. Thankfully, the hidden relationship doesnt last long as Alexy bust them pretty quickly.

And you know how much beemov love their hidden relationships.

MC tells Armin she is scared and wants to have more time together before they officially get back together. And Armin tells her he never stopped loving her all these years. And that's super sweet.

Anyways, 300 AP wasted on how to eat cupcakes and both of them decide to go to cosy bear café to the cupcake workshop.

For now everything is well. Then comes Clemance and the jealousy bullshit. And I'm like, why?!

If we chose to not make him jealous and focus on our cupcakes: Which is the best of the two endings in my opinion.

why doesnt he say anything to clemance? Do we really have to intervene to make her stop ? Can't he say something to her?

Something like "Excuse me, maam. But you are being overly touchy feely and that makes me uncomfortable." But no candy needs to be the one to intervene to stop her.

Cause of course, if a man does not have a girlfriend you are free to touch him as much as you want. 😒

Anyways, all ends well, Candy and Armin goes to the park to decide who has the best looking cupcakes. Armin loses and MC asks him to kiss her. He happily accept, he tells her how much he loves her and that he does not wanna live without her ever. How much her not being in his life for 3 years made him feel like he was carrying a heavy weight etc.

They kiss and finally officially get back together yay!

Now to the worst ending.

If you decides to make him jealous by flirting with poor hyun.

I mean why would she do that? That's so toxic.

Yes,armin has never gotten jealous.

Yes,i did wanna see armin jealous since episode 33 of HSL.

But not like that. It was so childish and cringe. And poor Hyun who really thought MC was into him.

Anyways MC ends up not focusing enough on her cupcakes and they look horrible. After the end of the workshop, Armin is angry and he takes MC to his appartement, locks the door while looking at her with an animalistic gaze (her words not mine), and tells her that seeing her seducing another man has made him angry and horny and she needed to take responsability for that.

Um...Mister...slow down. Because:

1-You two are not dating yet. She told you she was feeling scared and not ready yet.

2-You did not even have your first kiss yet. (The mall one doesnt count).

Anyways here, you get to choose if you have sex with him or not. I dont know what happens if you refuse and If someone knows please tell me.

But when you accept, the two have beastly, angry jealous sex on his desk.

And it was super hot, don't get me wrong. But this is not what i expected of their first time after a 3 year long breakup.

This is not sex between two people who had a terrible break up and spent 3 years missing each other only to finally find each other again.

I had expected something more.....vanilla.

I mean at least do it on the bed. At least tell her that you love her and officially get back together then do the crack crack boom boom.

But no, they do the deed, then Candy says "Wow, ok. My legs are still shaky. Best sex ever, lets get back together."

Anyways I hope you all get my point. I'm dissapointed.

It would have been better with some slight changes:

-MC and armin go to the cupcakes workshop.

-Clemance flirts with Armin but MC helps him before he has the time to say anything.

-They have fun baking together and laugh at how bad they both are.

-After the workshop they go to the park and the confession from the first route happens wirh the illustration.

-Then now that they are officially together, they go to his appartement to eat the cupcakes and watch a movie.

-They start making out and here you can have a choice of having sex with him or not.

-If you do, they have sex. It doesnt matter if its not that vanilla because here they had there confession, expressed their feeling and are officially back together. You get the nsfw illustration.

-If you dont want to do it yet, the two watch the movie and cuddle, have long converstations about super hero and video games and fall asleep cuddling on his bed.

End of the episode.

What do you guys think?

[lokilysolbitch]

My new fixation is bad poetry

and its making me think about how to define art and poetry and what makes poetry good etc but I can't go back and find my sophomore english teacher and rant about it so I'm making it yalls problem. but mr c if ur in here pls read also what do you mean thats one way to skin a hamster. thats not how it goes what are you talking abou

first of all, ive finally figured out my current definition of art: records of the human experience or just experience in general. so yes paintings and poetry but ALSO tiktoks or a decorated room. idc if you think its stupid there are remnants and references to human experiences ALL OVER those. so basically if it left a mark at any point, its art. maybe not always "good" or skilled, deep, etc but it is art (to me)

secondly, what is poetry? the same sophomore english teacher asked this at the beginning of a unit and the class was struggling. every time we listed a requirement for poetry he went "is that necessary though?". "it has to rhyme" "does it?" "it has to be deep" "does it" "it needs to have words!" ".....does it?" man idk i was 15 and sleep deprived

but now im less sleep deprived and i have an answer. I would consider poetry a spectrum (but not necessarily flexible. i wouldn't say you have to bend it's meaning to make something fit) but also playing with language, to be playful with it and have fun with it, to use it as a toy in a way. using language in a way different from its intended use. so writing a personal narrative about a deep topic? not poetry. maybe you had fun with it but thats still its main use. to make words rhyme, to alliterate, to use words just plain wrong? probably poetry. its still a spectrum. and im aware this means that saying something like "yew nork/glass fork" would count as a shitpost and poetry while "Ill love you and ill never stop loving you" doesnt and um i dont care i said what i said--

this would also mean most books and speeches would have little bits of poetry in there and i stand by that too. maybe the entire thing isnt poetry but bits of it could count. i came to this conclusion on the meaning of poetry because i saw too many "aesthetic" free verse poems that were just. tweets. you coulda just made it a sentence and posted it for free. there was no attempt to play with language. you just used it the way you were supposed to. its just a quote.

im definitely going to add more onto this about what i think poetry critics miss sometimes and why formal teaching of poetry is flawed but not all in one post bc its a lot. However i have one last concept to attempt to define. this one has always made me the angriest

GOOD VS BAD POETRY/ART

where do i even start. maybe we should just get rid of these terms completely and make people say what they mean. is it good or did he just use literary devices correctly. is it good or is it genuine. is it good or is it deep. is it good or is it entertaining. is it good or do you like it. is it good or is it popular. is it good or is it complex. is it good or is it creative.

ive been saying since i was i was maybe 12-13 that even though good does not have a solid stable meaning, there is still a sense of what good is. We know what its supposed to be. classical music, Edgar Allen Poe, Da Vinci are good. sure most people barely know or understand or care about these things other than one piece of work they can recall because they had to look at it in highschool that time and the teacher seemed to appreciate it. and we know that reality tv, messily hand drawn animals, and half assed near unintelligible tiktok skits are bad.

but....wait we like those though

ive come to the conclusion that while still shifting, "good"'s meaning in scholarly settings tends to come down to whatever those somethingth century european dudes and what the modern smart looking guys deemed intelligent. and in colloquial settings, what everyone likes.

many pretentious types will say rap is bad and the subject matter is crude and the same way im sure some old european guy would have said or has said traditional african music is too weird and primitive to be respectable.

now. i dont really listen to rap intentionally. if its in there its in there. I used to be pretentious and after changing i just never got too deep into it BUT. i listened to a Nicki Minaj song one time just to see and yeah it was not family friendly but dear god was it clever. the way she'd drop the most genius alliteration-personification-allegory-englishvocabword and then just keep it moving like im not gonna have to stop and ponder the seven layer reference to bedtime hanky panky. its smart. its creative. its complex. and so many rappers can write about the same topics over and over and still come back with a new way of phrasing it. its genuinely impressive

but so many still wouldn't consider it good.

the term good when it comes to art, while having somewhat of a meaning is still useless. make your own personal standards for what is important for you to see in art. its kind of silly for us to collectively decide "okay this art? we like it. this is good" and then go to a different community (age group, culture, race) and go "were going to show you the new gold standard for good! its what we liked! you dont do it like this?? then yours is bad!". historically thats never been a good move

what i find important with poetry (and by poetry i mostly mean song writing bc i dont even read poetry like that) tends to be "is it a poem? or a sentence/paragraph". everything other than that just has to do with my taste and what I prefer in the moment. and it goes the same for everyone else. there's no universal good or bad with art. its just what a dominant or culturally respected group of people said was important.

limericks are bad tho jesus told me/j

TL;DR: i think anything that records an experience is art. i think toying with language mostly makes it poetry, and i think its weird people create little boxes for good and bad and make everyone else adhere to it

[ispyspookymansion]

my true and correct ranking is

evil dead - all good

child’s play - mostly good people r to mean to seed it’s fun

final destination 3/4 but 4 is terrible

scream 4/5 and 5 isn’t that bad

saw - mostly good sometimes really great and even the bad ones have their moments

friday - mostly terrible but all extremely enjoyable

nightmare - 3 great movies and new nightmare and like the bad ones are fun

chainsaw - two fantastic movies i can take or leave the rest

psycho - i love 1 & 2 but the rest of them are notverygood

halloween - great opening wild sequel i own season of the witch merch and a dvd copy of h20 but christ alive when it’s bad it’s terrible

write-in last place is alien cuz those first two are without comparison but prometheus is the worst movie i have ever seen

saw should maybe be higher cuz i like her more than scream but if we’re looking at them as a franchise than i think 3D and jigsaw really bring her down cuz they kinda loose what makes those movies work so well i loved finally seeing the reverse bear trap in action tho

also i’d be reeeeally incherested in knowing ur rankings :D we’ve all given our terrible opinions i’d love 2 know urs

sorry this is abt to get so long and just know i dont necessarily believe any of this im saying words recreationally ! and i tried to think abt them as in quality of franchise, but i am obviously human with personal tastes and biases. i generally counted how many movies i gave 3 or more stars on letterboxd to get my numbering. below the cut for my takes!

- saw (8/9 or 88%) my babygirl. my sweet cheese. i can get why some people dont rock with it but writing it off as torture porn is unforgivable both in that its not, or not entirely, and okay so who cares torture those bitches !!!!! saw’s Quality is not consistent, but its premise is and its one of the most interconnected franchises which strengthens it as a series

- child’s play (6/8 or 80%): prefacing by saying this doesnt take the show into account, but the show is a wash for me anyways. child’s play is a perfect mix of funny and scary, both on a movie by movie basis and as a franchise. don mancini sucks at writing a tv show but his consistent hand in the series makes it a good franchise as far as consistency. edit i forgot about the terrible remake um. yeah. eep.

- final destination (4/5 or 80%): 1, 3, 5 are really good, 2 is decent, theyre fun! i rewatch them from time to time i love the concept i love tony todd and i think its impressive that theres really only one stinker (the final destination aka final destination 4 you will never be famous)

- scream (4/5 or 80%) very partial to the original, and i respect a lot of what scream does even in the movies i dont like as much, but the last film + upcoming no sidney lose points for me for sure. the first movie is standout, the rest are pretty consistent even if its at a level far below the first film. i havent seen the tv show

- noes (6/9 or 66%): my beloved <33333 i loooove the first three and i love new nightmare! the quality steadily deteriorates between those though it Is in a fun way most of the time. the atrocious remake damages this a lot for me but it Knows what it is, so you cant fault it for that. i would fight for noes as a favorite above scream and final destination, but its a weaker franchise overall imo

the next three i had a hard time putting in order tbh, but i guess what i’ll say is:

- psycho (3/5 or 60%): i really was surprised by how good the 2nd one is, cannot state that enough. but 3 flopped to me, the bates motel tv movie sucks, and ive heard the remake is horrible. the prequel is alright (it and 3 both get a half mark), though the whole franchise loses ground for the inherent issues with norman’s character. i havent seen the bates motel tv show.

- evil dead (2.5/4 or 63%): look. sorry, but its not for me. i love the first one and i love the remake, but the style of comedy isnt my thing in the two in between. its not BAD in the sense that it is what it set out to be, but i just dont like that thing very much, and i struggle to call it a better Franchise than most due to how varied its parts are. ash williams tboy swag you Will always be beloved tho, and the first one is a real fav of mine

- halloween (7/13 or 53%): the original is very dear to me, i love the weirdass hustle of 3, and i think halloween 2018 was a great start to a disappointing trilogy. the muddied timelines mean the franchise itself is a mess. one great movie does not a good franchise make! i might put this above psycho depending on the day, but the last movie was so atrocious it leaves a very bad taste in the franchise mouth

- friday the 13th (5/12 or 42%): i love campground horror and overall, the quality of f13 as a series is pretty consistent! its just that its pretty consistently bad. i respect the hustle of sending jason to space and manhattan but its not my kind of film

- tcm (3/9 or 33%): only the first two and the 03 remake are really good to me. i dont think people realize there are NINE of these. a lot of the other sequels are decent movies, bad tcm films, so a low ranking as an overall franchise. sorry tcm, your writers dont understand what makes you great!

so um yeah. im pulling for scream or noes to win at this point, but my opinions are clearly not very shared....also these could change at any time i cant stress enough how much even the lowest franchises here are beloved by me, rewatched by me, have posters on my walls, etc etc!!!

[coolkidstuffsblog]

I really do love you nat.

misty quigley x natalie Scatorccio

this is my first fanfic, cut me some slack

misty gripped onto the bar table "jesus misty.." shauna sighed but looked around "tai? where the fuck is nat?" taissa sighed "in the bathroom." misty looked up "one!" she raised her arm but shauna pulled it down as she turned to taissa and stared at her as the bartender went to them "hello sir, do you know how many shots or drinks this women has taken..shes our friend." taissa said shooting him a smile while he began to squint his eyes trying to remember "i lost count after 20." he shrugged "damn!" natalie showed up freaking shauna and taissa out, taissa sighed "can we just get the check please?" she looked at him and ofcourse he nodded and took out the bill '100' dollars was infront of her eyes "jesus." misty shook her head and handed the 100 bucks "okay..i-i need." misty tried standing up but she began wobbling, which made it turn into a fun game for her as she tried walking a straight line the entire time to her car "okay..misty pass your k-" shauna looked back to see if misty was behind them but she wasnt there.

"OH MY GOD!" shauna shouted "What?!" natalie looked back to see shauna freaking out "OH MY GOD WE LOST MISTY! WASTED MISTY!" she frantically looked around "I THOUGHT YOU HAD AN EYE ON HER?!" taissa shouted "I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE TIL NOW!" shauna said.

their freaking out ended when they spotted misty under a tree with a cat on her lap "isnt she a bird person?" nat rolled her eyes "i'll go get her."

-

as they were driving to mistys house misty shouted "WAIT!" as she saw the gas station "can- we fill up my tank?" she slurred her words.

shauna sighed "okay then." as soon as they stopped the car misty ran into the little store looking around, nat went behind misty "hi! can i..get." misty looked around "a pack of cigarettes please?" natalie looked at misty "thank you." she left without paying but natalie paid for her.

misty put the cigarette immediantly in her mouth before asking natalie for a lighter "light." misty said looking at natalie "you gotta lighter dont you?!" she shouted "okay okay! no need to yell." natalie flicked the lighter on mistys cigarette "you dont even smoke." nat said "then take the damn pack." she shoved it in nats hand before inhaling hard "i feel like you've done this before." natalie says.

misty smirked as she inhaled again then exhaled the smoke "yeah..it fucking feels great." nat nodded, she stared at misty "but misty? you dont even like smoking." nat said "well..ya know." she patted the cigarette to let the ashes fall down to the ground "i like bad things."

"alright girls! lets get outta here!" shauna yelled from the car.

misty nodded "ALRIGHT!" nat yelled "okay-" nat looked at misty inhaling once more before rubbing out the cigarette on her wrist "doesnt that hurt?" nat said as she trailed behind misty.

they both got in the car "aight lets head out now." nat said.

misty smirked and looked over at nat with love eyes "misty..you good?" natalie said confused on why the hell misty was staring at her.

"im inlove with you." those words made shauna press on the breaks and turn her head so did taissa "um..what the hell do you want me to do with that information?" nat shrugged "nat!" shauna yelled "what! shes drunk..she probably doesnt even know what shes saying."

misty shrugged and looked at shauna "keep driving." she said in a stern voice before laying her head on the glass of the window and falling asleep.

"its so scary seeing misty like this." taissa said "yeah..its sending chills down my spine." nat just chuckled "you guys freak out on anything she does."

-

misty goes to her house and opens the door with nat behind her, shauna and taissa left already, misty went inside and took off her shoes before going into her room and laying on her bed.

she looked back seeing nat on the doorway "hey nat.." she smiled at her "cmon..sit next to me." nat rolled her eyes as she walked over to misty.

and as she sat down misty pulled her down to cuddle with her "nat..did you know that." misty looked at nat "i..i was inlove with jackie taylor." nat looked at her shocked "no way." misty nodded "i mean..i knew she wasnt interested ofcourse..plus she had shauna." misty smiled before turning and cuddling into nat "i love you because.." nat looked at her "you look so much like her." nats eyes got huge "your joking." misty shook her head "but..i've learned to love you." nat scoffed as she shoved misty away and got up "nat? where are you going?" misty said as she lifted up "you never loved me did you." nat said looking at misty "i-i did! and i still do nat!" natalie began putting on her shoes "please dont be mad." nat glared at her "FUCK YEAH I'LL BE MAD!" misty flinched as nat got closer "YOU LOVE ME BECAUSE I REMIND YOU OF SOMEBODY ELSE!" nat yelled into her ear.

misty scoffed "if you found a man that looked like travis, wouldnt you love him JUST because he looks like travis?" misty smirked as nat gulped and avoided eye contact "ofcourse you would nat.." misty began to smile geniuenly "i cannot believe i fall inlove with maniacs." nat shook her head "im not really crazy nat." misty smirked "im kinda happy to hear you love me." misty smiled "go to bed misty." misty frowned "go to fucking bed." nat shoved misty on the bed "well atleast take me to dinner first." misty winked "seriously..go to bed." misty smiled "i love you nat." misty smiled but nat didnt answer "well then." misty laid down before looking at nat one last time "goodnight nat." natalie nodded "good night misty."

[melancholiaenthroned]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

i was tagged by @bladeofavernus tyyyy<3 i rlly struggled to think of 10 fandoms im currently in (that had characters i care a lot about. sorry malevolent) but this was fun! not tagging 10 ppl bc im insecure and dont want to be a bother but ! not in any particular order but here they r

michelle carter (dc comics) the realization that i can only pick one dc character for this... so scary. idk if michelle is my favorite dc character ever but shes certainly up there and right now shes at the top of my brain... what does it mean to walk out of the fridge... what does it mean when everyone remembers you dying except for you... hes mourned you but youre back and you didnt even know you were gone... funerals are for the living....

paige duplass (the silt verses) my girlllll augh. augh. my false prophet... its been going not great for her lately and every scene with her recently makes me want to rip my heart out and sob and sob and sob. she just wants to fix the whole world. is that too much to ask. it might be. ill support her forever tho idc if her godchild fucks up and destroys the whole earth i will always be on her side. she went to business school shes a star employee shes an alcoholic shes mother mary. shes everything

amanda young (saw) you knew she was gonna be here i love her so bad. ive spoken at length about amanda before u all know my thoughts. saw iii you will always be famous

jung heewon (orv) thought id throw in a recent interest even tho im still no where done orv^_^ jhw is my favorite so far ever since her scene where she first used judgement day... i love the avenging angel type of character esp the way she does it (attack dog baby!) and i love her dynamic with the rest of the group.

kim kitsuragi (disco elysium) everyday i am thinking about him if you dont see me post about him know that im still thinking about him. i miss him bad

clara (pathologic) shes just a baby... i love her... i love a girl who is silly but so tragic i love a girl who was born in an empty grave i love a girl with frightening powers she doesnt understand i love a girl placed in a situation outside of her control who is still blamed when it goes wrong.

apollo (wildstorm) doesnt count as dc ok. im reaching here im rlly not into that many things its mostly just dc comics. but its his wildstorm self i actually care about sooo counting it. i miss when he killed ppl

calroy cruller (dimension 20) sorry im gonna be a calroy head forever probably hes so special to me. i love villain monologues i love treason i love betrayal.

sasha (borderlands) not into borderlands anymore but she makes this list bc sasha isnt a borderlands character to me ok shes a dear friend. i love her forever even if i will probably never play those games again. ok thats a lie but ill probably never talk about them online again. ok thats a lie too

eddie brock (marvel) it was truly a struggle to think of ten fandoms i currently care about um. i dont even like current venom comics. but eddie will always be special to me i love u insane girl<3

not tagging anyone today im way too tired to think of ppl sorryyyy but if u want to do this just say i tagged u 👍

[rainbowe-set]

100 questions, to help doe {eye/he/it} figure eyeself out. w soul {it/red} answering as well coz why not. except we keep changing the 100 questions

name

doe.. | soul/shrimp

2. age

20 | 20 but body is {ADULT}

3. we're not sharing our city xdd

4. What do most people not know about you?

i'm, kind of a girl? and a boy? but also neither? my gender is love i think.. | idfk, just like blue /sys did, i like digging out chunks in minecraft. repetitive task go brrr

5. What do most people know you for?

i don't think anyone knows me, apart from amaris and others of his system? but i guess that would be for the game i'm a fictive from. | hell if i know?? for being the soul i guess

6. Hobbies

talking with amaris.. if that counts.. oh! drawing, right. | listenin to music

7. What are your passions?

art? love? | maybe minecraft speedruns. or music, music is more like it

8. What do you search for in a significant other?

that they love me? i don't know.. that seems like enough | probably being less socially anxious than me. need me a "excuse me he asked for no pickles" kinda person /hj

change of plans i chose different questions those ones were too hard

   1) Put your {playlist} on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

Chonny Jash - Grew On Me | i dont have a separate playlist but from blue's playlist, I Am... All of Me by Crush 40    2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

amaris.. | amaris as well    3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

from fnaf into the pit, 'his dad sped away, probably glad to get rid of him."    4) What do you think about most?

probably amaris.. is that weird? | weirdo here! not weird. :thumbsup: .as for me uhhh maybe music    5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"gniiight 💜"    6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

clothes on, i suppose? i don't like changing clothes much | clothes on, somewhat same reason    7) skip    8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

girls are awesome, boys are awesome? | girls go to ccollege to get more knowledge.... boys go to jupiter to get more stupider... /ref    9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

no? i wonder if i can write poems. as in, am i good at it? i should try some time | i meeean, technically the soul eclectic? lol ik tht doesnt count but its funny    10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

what does that even mean? | that was before i even existed i think    11) Do you have any strange phobias?

don't know about "strange", but.. heights? and being abandoned, you know.. being hated.. | slight social phobia xdd    12) skip    13) skip    14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

going out on a walk. that sounds nice, we should go on a walk sometime | absolutely not /lh uhh for me i guess shopping? but never on my own {w parents}    15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

ooh, that's tough. um... both? if that makes sense.. as in, being able to watch myself? because i like myself? | <-autospec momence. uhh for me i think behind th camera    16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

chonny jash? he's not a band, but.. | lemon demoonnnnn    17) skip    18) skip    19) skip    20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

love. both of those. | my fuckinnn self esteem issues tbh. and, resilience, is that th word? idk man    21) Who is your celebrity crush?

ooh. chonny jash? | backrooms    22) skip    23) skip    24) Do you have a collection of anything?

i mean, if it counts, collection of art of us amaris has done | blue's rock collection is somewhere in the wardrobe    25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

ah, neither? or, actually, both. talking online but not with video | both r bad but talkin on the phne is bettr    26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

if the people i love are happy with me, then i am. | no lmaoooo    27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hm, maybe chalk on board sound. and voices of loved ones | chalk on board from me as well chief. or sound of the body's voice. sound i love, uhhh idk silence?    28) skip    29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes? but not aliens.. | one of the alters in here is literally a ghost lmao {well ghostkin but it counts}. uhh idc abt aliens    30) skip    31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

sweat? | cold wind    32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

i haven't been to many places.. | school. i didnt even exist yet but school    33) skip    34) skip    35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

love? | none lollll    36) skip    37) skip    38) What’s the weather like right now?

cold. | cold windy    39) skip    40) skip    41) skip    42) skip    43) Do you have any nicknames?

i mean, john doe is a nickname i guess.. | soil or smtn i dunno    44) skip    45) skip    46) skip    47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

amaris? does he count.. is it weird? | minecraft speedrunning perhaps    48) What’s your ?

? | ??    49) skip    50) Do you believe in magic?

i suppose i do | sure man fuck me up    51) skip    52) skip    53) Do you save money or spend it?

i would save it, i think | save    54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

| rainbow huggy wuggy? tht happened b4 either of us existed but idk what else we've bought    55) Love or lust?

love.. | love    56) In a relationship?

yes.. | yea    57) skip    58) skip    59) Where were you yesterday?

at home, i think? | do not fuckin remember lolll    60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

hello kitty clip ons | anime girl figure    61) skip    62) What’s your favorite animal?

ooh, uh, probably cats. | birds. crows. uhh sure cats i mean i like dogs too so idk    63) skip    64) skip    66) skip    67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping? i think..    68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

what? | i dont think satans last name is what.. (that's not what i-) ahem. uhh redfield    70) skip    71) skip    72) skip    73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

love.. | trust    74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

maybe my type by saint motel | aint nothing like a funky beat perhaps    75) skip    76) skip    77) How can I win your heart?

just love me. that is enough. | like my things or smtn    78) skip    79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

coming back from the void | <- headspace void. uhh joining pcjs perhaps. it wasnt me who did it but still    80) skip    81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

loverboy. | wtf kinda question is that...    82) skip    83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

amaris.. | acou /sys and amaris    84) What is a saying you say a lot?

"is that weird" maybe.. | awesomesauce    85) What’s the last song you listened to?

| currently listening to Moe Shop - You Look So Good    86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors?

black and red | red and gray.    87) What is your current desktop picture?

| p3 protagonist. we should probably change it... hm    88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

(REDACTED) | myself /hj    89) skip    91) skip    92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

amaris telling me he likes me.. | when i first appeared. tht blurry feeling is weird but kind of pleasnt    93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i mean, if i erase our trauma (that i don't even remember), i probably wouldn't exist anymore, would i? | vyral's trauma    94) skip    95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

meeting amaris.. | amaris as well    96) skip    97)skip    98) skip    99) skip    100) skip

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] squishing ur cheeks so hard (gently) right now youre so cute UR PARTNERS VERY SWEET AND I GET YOU THO like personally,...

to me i have a mixed feeling with kisses cus of family complications and other social stuff etc etc that twists a lil of my view to physical affections in general, but it doesnt stop me into understanding it in fictional creations and to myself as someone who's not interested in romantic associations. so i think!! platonic and familial is what rlly matters 2 me when presenting these things.

i hope u know how much it makes me Not Sane for zhongli being softly indulgent to xiao especially on his most vulnerable moment (bc by god does he need that extensive care and love despite the spiralling), but not too mushy and direct (going segway a bit that while i hold parental zhongli Very Dearly i do not dig the idea he does it to the extent of inf*ntilizing xiao, hes still a [young] adult but just very confused how to be one, so the treatment IS still specific) but patient and gentle. and when the adeptus isnt awake in such situations, the former archon would plant a light kiss on his forehead too (doing when xiao is awake would be a whole other thought spiral and confusion to the poor guy). very rare moment, but very valuable.

a lot more rare when its on lumine getting her unspoken concern and care to him in an affectionate way that's not just holding his hand for reassurance or light but solid hold on his shoulder to keep his whirling internal conflict grounded. i could literally count on one hand (TWO FINGERS INCLUDING THE ANGEL KISS) that she ever kissed xiao at all before she left.

so it just,... matters to me a lot of xiao's relationships to others with the emphasis of his unwilling repulsion to affection, cus on both reasons he doesnt think hes worth one and that he doesnt know how it will work for him yknow [[explodes

NO BC i dont think ive seen full on infantilization of xiao (Yet.) but the thought of it just now esp w/ zhongli flooded dread through every ounce of my being dear Lord. no yeah he is very much still a young adult and zhongli Gets It zhongli knows whats up <333 AND THE LITTLE FOREHEAD KISS WHILE XIAO IS ASLEEP............ EXPLODES AND DIES INSTANTLY

the shoulder hold to help keep him grounded mgmfgnfmngmnfgmnfmng dies. dies. dies. dies. DOESNT THINK HES WORTH IT AND DOESNT KNOW HOW ILL WORK FOR HIM that's so real of him tbh like i Get It king me too <- said as if i dont put him in so many situations with So Much affection because i cant get the idea of him w/ the traveler specifically being very casually physically affectionate out of my head after seeing the way he holds onto them during that One cutscene. um. anyways ^_^

what if we both exploded what if we just held hands and then exploded that'd be pretty awesome i think. my cat is here as i write this she can explode too i think she'd appreciate the experience. staring directly at her as i type this Patches What Are Your Thoughts On Xiao Genshin Impact. Be Honest.

i need to get my ass in gear and write more on god like. him being casually affectionate gets me so bad but him being touch repulsed or touch starved or both or him only really accepting physical contact of anytime in combat because thats just how it works or him feeling as though he doesnt deserve the affection or smth i actually have partially written with him enjoying/accepting it from lumine but having no idea how to reciprocate in the slightest or or or or. i need to write All Of It i need to explore All Of It or else i will explode

[ndiecity]

idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)

also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.

anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.

(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))

so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then

fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.

so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.

then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"

and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"

but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.

then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"

and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"

then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.

then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"

then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)

so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)

then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"

my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"

by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit

does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????

anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone

so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.

i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."

then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.

morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.

it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not

my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.

a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.

present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)

anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!

Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔

[roseworth]

What do you think Rose’s love language is?

violence blood killing maiming etc.

no but actually i thought about this and i think its absolutely words of affirmation (also im sorry for how much detail im about to go into but im taking a class rn where we talk about love styles/love languages a lot so i have a lot of thoughts about this)

for one thing she really cares about what other people think of her and ties her own personal value into what she can do for others, so i think the verbal reminder that other people care about her means a lot to her

also before i get into this i want to say for the record that love languages can also be platonic so the screenshots im about to use are Not all romantic ships (i know this is common knowledge but i just wanted to be very clear bc im about to use screenshots of like. lian and slade. and i dont want anyone thinking im saying it romantically)

anyways first things first in fresh hell (best rose book ever) she is hallucinating the team a lot and pretty much every time she hallucinates them theyre encouraging her or saying that they care about her. shes kinda using the words that she wishes other people would say to her to support herself while shes Alone and Struggling

not to mention when it actually does happen not in a hallucination it clearly means a lot to her every time

(ok in fairness the kyle one isnt really words of affirmation but i really like that moment so im posting it anyway)

also the less serious example is rose in nightwing #114 asking dick how she looks then glaring at him until he says she looks nice hfdkjasfhsdf the renegade arc is a comedy to me

plus she also tends to feel most hurt when people are saying harmful things about her

not to mention she tends to look for slade to say something positive about her and will get. um. very upset when he doesnt

anyways i think that her love language stems from rose's mom because lili very clearly has no problem with outright talking about how much she loves rose <3

now you might be thinking "lauren you dumb bitch. all youve done is make a compilation of people being nice to rose. relationships are a two way street and rose doesnt compliment people"

and to that i say... its complicated okay

i have two possible reasons for this. the first is that she is so fucking bad at expressing herself and she doesnt know how to be nice to people, and is terrified of showing others that she loves them

the other reason is that some people have different love languages for giving & receiving!!!! and i think that while rose's receiving love language is words of affirmation, her giving love language is acts of service

now usually these "acts of service" are either saving their life or beating the shit out of someone that hurts them but it COUNTS okay!!!

and of course. the funniest "act of service" which is marrying hosun

anyways i ran out of images but rose as deathstroke arc my beloved, i consider that another act of service because her father was dead and she knew what he would have wanted to be done (killing his last target) so she did it

also id like to think that her acts of service love language stems from wintergreen because of how he did so much to help her when they first met <3 <3 <3

i had more for all of these but tumblr only allowed 30 images per post <////3 how am i supposed to be publicly insane when theres a limit 😔

tldr: her receiving love language is words of affirmation and her giving love language is acts of service <3

[choibinn3]

get to know me game!!

tagged by: @tyunni

tagging: @tyuncafe this is suuper long btw so dont mind it if u dont wanna do it!! hehe

what day is your birthday? dec 8th, sunghoons bday 😥 (thats how i heard abt enhypen actually, my friend was like "OMGG u share a bday wirh my bias!!!!")

what’s your favorite color? pink <33 it makes me so happy

what’s your lucky number? 8!!! like my bday date :')

do you have any pets? no :(( want a kitty real bad though

how tall are you? skipping. no comment. next question.

how many pairs of shoes do you have? like THREE and i rotate between two ♥️

favorite song? kpop?? um rn fever by enhypen or ghosting.. non kpop would be amoeba by clairo (shits GOOD plz go listen to it)

favorite movie? not the biggest fan of movies, but im suuper into slasher films/horror!!! so maybe smthng from there??

what would your ideal partner be like? jungwon ♥️ LMAO

do you want children? nope!! love kids but parenting doesnt sound like smthng id want to do unfortunately

have you gotten in trouble with the law? not that i know od?? Dont tell anyone

bath or shower? shower.. i dont thinj ive ever taken a legitimate bath b4, always showered

what color socks are you wearing? soz to say this but socks suck!! also irs 11pm and im in bed BUT THAT STILL STANDS

favorite type of music? like genre?? no clue, but i typically like music that reminds me romantic pining (aka, fever ♥️ or around you by hyunjin)

how many pillows do you sleep with? pillows are four!!! plushies,?? infinite bitch!!

what position do you sleep in? curled up on my side hugging smthng hehe

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? yk that sleep where like,, ure sleeping... but u feel awake the whole time?? and rhen u wake up fuckin groggy like uve just been lying there.. that.

what do you have for breakfast? no breakfast!!! 2 cool 4 that. also i wake up at like uhh 11am-3pm sometimes

have you ever tried archery? NO!! sharp objections should not be in my possession apparenrly. tch 😒

favorite fruit? strawberries? mangoes?? anything fresh

favorite swear word? no favs, jm too indecisive for that :((

do you have any scars? yea, i dont have a cool story for them though.. i was just a scab picker kid lol

are you a good liar? SHITTY. horrible, the worst. i cant lie dor shit nd it gets me all shcoked everytime someone is like "mai ure LITERALLY so bad at this" during a lying game lol

what’s your personality type? istp-t!! same as huening whoooo 🎉🎉

what’s your favorite type of girl? mean girls...... i jusy like mean ppl in general but mean gurls have a special space in my heart ♥️!! theyre so demonized but as long as theyre not acrually complete assholes (like homophobes, bigots yk?) they r everythint 2 me

innie or outtie? gots an innie :]

left or right handed? right

favorite food? no favs again!!! but SPICY FOOD YUMM

favorite foreign food? probs uhh Bún bò Huế!!! im viet so idk if that counts as "foreign" but omgg ITS SO GOOD

are you clean or messy? messy!! i feel like everythings much more comfy and natural.. not like too messy though

most used phrase? BARK BARK (not proud of this one guys)

how long does it take you to get ready? like 40-60mins... ONLY BC i zone out tthough and forgot im meant to be gettinf ready LOL

do you talk to yourself? Yes. i do <3 thats also why i read&write fanfictions

do you sing to yourself? mhm!!! esp when the songs too good i sing along or throughout the day

are you a good singer? actually, literally not sure at all. i took chorus since like elementary school tho if that helps

biggest fear? heights and commitment ♥️

are you a gossip? what does this mean. but i think?? i like heaeinf gossip but im not tonna get outta my way to talk abt it ?

do you like long or short hair? on myself short!!! but guys&girls nd just everyone in general look so damn good with long hair sometimes

favorite school subject? none lol <33!! school sucks this question pains me every time i see it on back2school answer sheets

introvert or extrovert? introvert, im a lil hermit all cooped up inside my room all the tim3 ://

what makes you nervous? ppl i like are cool!!! or like ppl in general, i cant even order my boba by myself dude

who was your first real crush? i THINK. it mightve been my bff from when i was in 5th grade.. idk if this counts bc i (THINK) but like...... i cried so fucking much when we stopped being friends. it felt like a breakup and im still not over it tbh (tmi?)

how fast can you run? not fast at all but i can JUMP

what color is your hair? black, still have virgin hair!!

do you like your own name? umm tbh no, but my screen name (mai) is my middle name anyways so i dont think that matters too much

what makes you angry? people who dont listen :( pisses me off but tbh i dont get angry often

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? NEITHER. if i had to pick maybe boy but NOOOOO

what are your strengths? ive been told im endearingly stupid (like twice by the same friend) and it stuck with me. like AWWW :(( U THINK IM ENDEARINGG??

what are your weaknesses? id say im too socially anxious, public speaking makes my hands shake and i cant speak so its real bad

what’s the color of your bedspread? like white with blue polka dots ^_^

what’s the color of your room? this nice beige color,, like the color of my blog rn actually!!!! i based it off of jungwons color scheme but ig this works too

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS

ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time

Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Pauline: We're having a baby. Shiyu: Oh, congradu- Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.

---------------

Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands. Shiyu: Because they have little hands.

------------------

Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---------------

Wid: Pros and cons of dating me. Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

(cons. you're the smart one😔)

----------------

Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

-------------

Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

-------------

Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

(*lipbites in 166 cm*)

--------------

Wid: I don't dab. I stab.

(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)

----------------

Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

(t-pose to assert dominance)

---------------

Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

(lmao baby nacho really be bold)

--------------------

Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

------------------

Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

----------------

Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

--------------

Pauline: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

(we are the squad now)

---------------

Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

---------------

Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Wid: I need my socks.

------------------

Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

(yes yes you are how dare you)

------------

Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT. Shiyu: cuLt leader. Shiyu: God hates me personally. Shiyu: cowBoy hat. Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(my asexual ass be like;)

-------------

Wid: *plays shreksophone* Wid: Woo. Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity. Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend

---------------

Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pauline: Killed without hesitation.

----------

Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

---------------

Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-----------------

Pauline: I hate Lili. Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word. Pauline: I have strong opinions.

(oh no)

----------

Wid: How does that even work? Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.

(...fair enough)

------------

Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-----------

Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French. Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Shiyu: Bonjour. Lili: Le growl. Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)

------------------

Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table* Lili: *taps fingers back furiously* Wid: …What’s going on? Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking. Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

-----------------

Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay. Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money. Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.

(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)

------------------

Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Wid: Strong. Shiyu: Weak. Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.

(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)

--------------------

Shiyu: Those darn tall old people. Wid: Darm em' indeed. Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Lili: Hahaha. Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

-----------------

Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you. Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Shiyu: I stand by my choice.

------------------

Wid: What do we think of Shiyu? *pause* Lili: *sighs* Nice pal. Pauline: I think they're gay.

=------------

Wid: Where is Shiyu? Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu?? Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?

(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)

--------------

Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Wid & Lili: One, two, three- Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three- Shiyu: Vanilla! Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

----------------

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Wid: A doll. Shiyu: A cinnamon roll. Lili: A sweetheart. Pauline: Pauline: ...stop it.

(cant deny the truth bby)

---------------

Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming* Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?! Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here? Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(i mean... its true )

-----------------

Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)

-------------------

Lili: Wake me up- Wid: Before you go go Shiyu: When September ends Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

--------------------

Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on? Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.

--------------

Lili: *Gasp* Pauline: wHAT?? Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Pauline: *inhales* Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?

(shiyu: same shit different day)

----------------------------

Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled. Wid: You can't cancel a holiday. Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too. Wid: What does that mean? Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.

--------------------

Pauline: So, are they your friend or... Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you. Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu. Lili: Precisely!

(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)

----------------

Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Pauline: When have I been paranoid? Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…? Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid! Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong* Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.

(id gladly be one)

--------------------

*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling* Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline. Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

----------------

Wid: We need to distract these guys. Lili: Leave it to me. Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*

(*pulls out dictionary*)

------------------

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!

----------------------

Wid: What is love? Pauline: An emotional minefield. Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction. Lili: Baby don't hurt me.

(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)

--------------------

Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Wid: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Lili: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.

------------------

Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Pauline: Gray. Lili: Grey. Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is. Wid: Dark white.

[mourneruntosheol]

What sort of things do you like doing?

ANYWAY… things i like? easy!

drawing is super fun! i really like drawing myself especially. like half of my drawings are just me… actually, the first thing i did after i saw that human was draw it, before i even told anyone. (not my smartest moment… but the inspiration was overwhelming, i couldnt just not do it.) greed says i could sell my art, but i dont think its good enough yet. it seems like ill never get better, though… i probably just need more practice.

i like sparring with my siblings! theyre all good fighters. (…mostly. lokis pretty bad… lust too. and envy. and… okay, maybe im just too nice, ill own that) pride and the dark one are sore losers though. it sucks cause i really like fighting the dark one. hes the only one that doesnt hold back on me. sometimes i even get to spar with mom, but he always beats me! he says when i get older ill be able to beat him. im not allowed to spar with mother though.

i really like video games, but there arent much of them down here. (movies and tv, too. those are even rarer!) we pretty much only get whatever my siblings can scavenge from closer to the surface. or if were really lucky, someone will sacrifice one of em to mom, and those are always the good ones! i like games where i can play by myself the most. my favorite game is wormhole, where you use holes to solve puzzles for an evil robot. ive probably replayed it like a hundred times!

does dreaming count? sometimes i dream interesting things. i have this dream sometimes where im with someone i dont know, on the surface, and we just sit there and talk and stargaze. oh man, i know its like 9 hours, but it feels like 15 minutes… sometimes i wish i could live in my dreams. maybe that wouldnt be good though cause i would miss everyone here in sheol

um… there isnt much to do around here.

honestly, im all for something bad happening because at least it would mean SOMETHING is happening. its boring here! i wanna go outside and play! i hear its fun out there

[oscar-mildes]

elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?��theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part 

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy 

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it 

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT  i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it