#<- i feel like its really pretentious but also i need to figure out what i wanna call these little zombie things they fight

[the-kiss-of-wet-asphalt]

So i just finished Madoka Magica, and so should you!

The animation is frankly impressive if you look closely. It's very much Studio Trigger levels of 'looks so much simpler than it is'

Its high praises from YT analysis video thumbnails did not lie. I think i've just seen too much to think it's scary, but the concepts that are at large set such a high bar for themselves and fucking MASTER it with bravura. The characters aren't the most organic ever but everything they've got going on still hits every point that needs to be hit narrative wise. I surprisingly feel less for the characters than for the existential thriller basis that they're set in. With Kyubey being by far the most valuable part of the story in terms of horror but also intrigue imo.

From how he looks, to the information he's in charge of delivering. I'm in love with the ties to real world events like the burning of real world witches and other big events from history. The phrase that without the wishes human kind "would most likely still dwell in caves" is probably the most pretentious as well as weirdly interesting quote from the show to me. Yk, since we still have many unsolved mysteries about human history, explaining it with the fact that little girls performed miracles by being granted wishes is just... crazy delicious?

I'm usually never that interested in the 'save the world' plot and focus on the characters, but honestly it was the complete opposite with Madoka Magica for me. The witches and the existentialism pulled me in most of all.

I'm gonna start raving uncontrollably if i begin about the insane perspective work that's been exercised to make the witches look so fucking menacing and exactly like what they're explained to be later on. I love foreshadowing and a load of goofy playfulness with my horrors beyond human comprehension, yk? "Studio Shaft" (no because what-💀) really had weirdcore figured out early.

PS: I've seen a Madoka Magica transformations compilation about a year ago & none of them were present in the original show so i assume they're part of an ova or the like. They looked absolutely awesone too

[wuhohdotcom]

tf2 mercs and the smokes i think they would pick up from a gas station. source: i work at a gas station

reasonings below the cut:

scout: i chose newport red shorts for him because i feel like he would think menthol is for losers. newports to me are a very. basic cigarette. the layman's cig. i also find newports, especially red newports to be a little nasty lol. also i dont see him as much of a cigarette smoker but i do think he smokes every once in a while, esp if hes really stressed out or had a bad match. his 1 box will last him a few months. after a while i think he would switch to newport gold shorts, as theyre lighter.

soldier: i know theres a lot of art of soldier smoking cigars, esp blue soldier. while i don't disagree with that notion, i dont think hes coming into a convenience store and picking up a pack of cigarillos. i went with lucky strike red shorts because theyre an All American cigarette and have been around forever. theyre on the cheaper side as well and he smokes them in Emesis Blue. i didn't go with american spirits because theyre advertised as an "organic" cigarette, and i feel that he would find that to be pretentious and an overall turn off. also american spirits are more expensive.

pyro: i dont think pyro is a tobacco smoker. if the pyro is smoking anything its going to be weed wrapped in a banana backwoods. banana is one of the more strange flavors backwoods has, and i feel like they would go for something on the fruitier side. i also chose backwoods because backwoods fucking rule and the shits look like twigs bc theyre full leaf wraps. i also feel like they would choose banana because none of the other mercs would want to smoke that.

demo: with demo it was more a process of elimination than anything. i dont think he's a cigarette smoker. so i went with a cigarillo because i can so very clearly see him smoking one. i don't think he would go for swishers as a lot of them are fruity, and that doesn't seem up demo's alley. i went with white owl sweets because theyre simple and straight forward, and i feel he would like a pack of sweets. to be honest, im a little shaky on this one, but i don't think anything else would suit him besides like. game greens. to be fair, i don't think he smokes much, and would probably go for something higher quality and hand wrapped if he was smoking a cigar. overall he would get these if he needed something quick and cheap.

heavy: idk about other stores but my store has 1 million dorals and nobody is buying them except for maybe one person every 6 months. heavy is that person. if heavy is smoking anything he's smoking light 100s because i can't see him smoking or liking a rich or full flavor cigarette. also dude is big so he's not getting shorts because they're too small and will be gone in two seconds. these smokes are a mystery to me; i have no idea of the quality or price range. but in my mind i can see him coming up to my counter, asking for these, and leaving without a word.

engie: i almost went with marlboro southern cut for this guy but it felt too on the nose, even if i think he would enjoy the smoke of those. i went with honey bourbon backwoods instead. the flavor seems right up his alley, and i can clearly see him asking for these at a convenience store. as to what he does with them... i can see him smoking them as they come in the package, or using them as a wrap. overall engie looks like he drinks good whiskey, and these cigars look like good whiskey. well... bourbon.

medic: i had a hard time deciding what medic would smoke and went thru all the brands i know of. at first i discounted marlboro because of how commonly bought they are, figuring he would smoke something weirder. but when i came back to it i had figured he would enjoy menthols, and i landed on marlboro menthol blue 100s. he wouldn't go for full flavor, as they would irritate his throat. i feel like smoking these shits would be like sipping cold water after having mint gum. i mean, they're described as "smooth" and "cool." medic is smoking basically spearmint and cold water, but not enough to the point of where he's buying a pack of marlboro ice and its variants of gum package looking cigs.

sniper: i chose cheyenne menthols for him because to me sniper looks like he loves old school shit. the youngest person i have seen come in and buy these has been maybe 40. i don't think he would go for a basic cigarette. cheyennes are box cigars, and a box of these goes for under $3, and typically have more tobacco in them. i feel as if he would enjoy that as well as menthol full flavor, and the smokes themselves are brown instead of white. i can see him smoking a brown looking cigarette so clearly. also the packaging has an outdoorsy look to it lol. basically, i just Know he would go for these. if he was going to go for anything else, he might smoke camel menthol wides. he would also pick up zig zag unbleached cones for his joints.

spy: look we all know spy is smoking that hoity-toity imported french bullshit but if for whatever reason he had to pick up a pack a cigs from a mobil or something it would be parliament blue 100s. i already think he smokes 100s in general, and would go for parliaments because theyre expensive. where im from they sell for like $13 a pack and its always dudes in suits and/or gold chains asking for these things. the packaging isn't an issue here as spy keeps them in a case, but i don't feel like he would turn up his nose at it. overall these are his best option for a gas station cig.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari this is a THREAT ‼️⚠️ i am cornering u with a knife… that i will use to cut out a slice of carrot cake for u to enjoy while you tell me more of your thoughts on the stsg reincarnation au u mentioned in your tags 🍰 >:3 bc i am nothing if not NOSY !!

i feel like i’d heard abt an au like that before too but the only one that comes to mind rn is this one where suguru’s a barista.. n satoru is soooo starstruck just instantly like he even waits outside in the rain for suguru to clock out 😖😖 in love with how op drew them too the pouty look on satoru’s face in the second one kills me every time like aaaahhh they’re so pretty </33 prettiest boys ever….

LOGAN I GOT SO SCARED 😥😥 ty for the carrot cake i am munching on it happily :33

BUT OKOK i think i’ve figured it out …. i’ve ALSO seen that specific reincarnation au (i love it sm it hurts OUR PRETTY BOYS…..) and i think i’ve also seen some other art for another series entirely where the reincarnated characters met in a museum… so my brain probably just . mashed those two together PHDJDH 😭😭 but ok we ball I’M SO GLAD UR CURIOUS i thought abt it a bit more before going to bed yesterday and my thoughts spiralled into a whole plot PHDJDGB LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK…….. (warning!! this got long ALSO tagging mickey obv i need stsg nation approval for this @softgirlgonehaywire)

ok so !!!! first of all. satoru is a stem boy in this au. that’s simply how he is. he has literally no interest in The Fine Arts, and just so happens to get dragged to a museum for a school trip. he doesn’t really see the appeal yk?? just a bunch of stuffy rich people (he’s rich too but he’s not like the others he’s down w the poor <33) walking around like zombies….. he just hates the atmosphere bc he sincerely loves interacting w people and everyone in the museum is just staring at the paintings and sculptures and so on w/o even talking abt them :/// yeah. he does Not like art. (he just doesn’t Get It yet!!)

then we have suguru. our beloved. suguru is an art student <3 a bit pretentious about it <33 goes to a prestigious art school and lives and breathes art. he LOVES going to museums and exhibits and galleries just to dissect the pieces, think about their meaning, study them up close…. similarly to satoru i think his feelings about art have a lot to do with his yearning for connection and companionship; satoru doesn’t like art because he sees it as an isolated activity (average stem boy smh he just doesn’t Get it), suguru loves art because it gives him the chance to connect with painters new and old. he’s sooo enamored with the idea that he can forge a kind of connection with someone long dead, just by looking at something they made with their hands and mind. it’s so dear to him. (this is important for the Themes ok bear with me </3)

so!!! basically!!!! satoru is a stem boy, suguru is an art girl, and they happen to be in the same art museum at the same time. one of them is bored out of his mind, dragging his friends around and generally being a disturbance to the peace, the other is delicately and thoughtfully going from painting to painting. lost in his own little world.

they stumble upon one particular painting at the same time.

it depicts a man with long, black hair, clad in robes and smiling with the sun sinking behind him. his face is partially obscured, a little blurry, but his smile is framed almost as the center of the piece. it’s beautiful. the colours are warm, the brushstrokes are delicate, and there’s a tenderness to it that neither of them can quite put their finger on. but it’s so fervent. when they look down in search of the name of the piece and its painter, they see the following:

my one and only — unknown artist. (this is pure love starts playing in the bg)

satoru, for whatever reason, can’t take his eyes of this particular painting. he’s mesmerized. he’s never felt like this before — never felt so moved by a piece of art. suguru can’t turn away, either, but he thinks to himself that he feels a little sick. he’s never looked at a painting and felt as if it was looking right back at him. and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get a sense of the artist’s intent. he feels like he should be able to, but it’s too out of reach.

finally, suguru notices satoru standing only a couple steps away, and asks what he thinks. smiling politely. satoru is completely entranced, but meets suguru’s gaze, and all he can verbalize is that it’s pretty.

suguru loves to be a contrarian — but this time, he genuinely can’t bring himself to agree.

ok so here i’m thinking they fight a bit <33 it’s how they get to know each other (in typical stsg fashion)!! suguru really doesn't like this painting for some reason, while satoru really loves this painting (for some reason), and feels oddly protective over it. so suguru makes a throwaway comment that pisses satoru off, he gets a little hissy, they bicker a bit, that’s all. suguru offhandedly mentions that he goes to an art school. satoru ends up remembering this.

aaaaand here is where the Plot begins <33 i hope u are still with me logan & mickey here is a treat and a snack for u to munch on while reading because tbh i dont think im stopping anytime soon (you did this 😞😞): 🍨🧋 🍧🍵

satoru, as previously stated, is a stem boy. he’s never cared about art. but this painting makes him feel something, something that he’s never felt before. he’s never felt so fulfilled, and after some contemplation he realizes that must be because he’s an art boy at heart. he’s found his true calling.(<- his own assumption lol) he’s just so!! excited!!! he buys a big canvas and expensive brushes and sits down to make his Masterpiece, certain that it’ll end up mending the hole in his heart, the feeling he’s been plagued by for as long as he can recall — that something is missing from his life. (satoru assumes that this something is art.) (it’s actually suguru.)

after a very eventful evening, satoru discovers that he can’t fucking paint.

and he’s horrified by this revelation bc he’s a GENIUS. he can literally do Anything if he just tries. but he sucks at art. he just can’t do it. he sits down and tries his best to paint but nothing comes out well. there’s a gap between his imagination and reality and that just irks him. he doesn’t know what to do. he’s so used to never needing anybody’s help, but it sure would be nice if he had an art student to help him out a bit…..

……………………

satoru ends up hunting suguru down <33 by going to every single art gallery he can find in tokyo. suguru calls him a stalker. satoru asks suguru to tutor him. suguru thinks he’s insane. (but obv ends up agreeing bc no one can resist the allure of a stem boy finding his true calling) (mickey this wasnt even an intentional parallel to the vamp fic we’re just connected through the hivemind i swear)

and!! while we’re on the topic of suguru — he’s currently having a bit of a crisis because he’s never truly encountered a piece of art that’s made him feel as uncomfortable as my one and only did, and even though he knows it’s a good thing he can’t help but suddenly feel a tiny bit afraid of art. something about the smile of the man in the painting makes him feel a little nauseous, a little guilty. he can’t focus as much when he’s painting anymore, and it bothers him.

he also can’t stop thinking about the white haired little freak in the museum, who seemed so out of place, but looked so sincerely captivated by this one single painting. what does he see in it that suguru doesn’t? he just doesn’t get it.

he figures tutoring said freak will give him some answers.

aaaaand that’s the plot!!! they end up bonding through art and both take their time trying to figure out why they’re so fixated on my one and only. which obv happens to be the final work of satoru gojo, dedicated to suguru geto to keep his memory alive <333 nobody knows exactly where the painting came from, but it’s said to be a symbol of true love. a connection that transcends time. etc etc etc. u get me. satoru and suguru can’t help but feel drawn to it, and it helps them find each other again. they have this feeling towards the painting, towards each other, that they can’t quite put their finger on. something out of reach.

(one time, satoru dreams of a man with a severed arm, framed by the sunset, and wakes up with tears in his eyes.

he feels as if he’s forgotten something important.)

[drawnfromthedead]

Update on the learning to code thing: at first I was using Mimo, for nearly the past 2 months actually, and I decided to get a second app yesterday, Sololearn, and have been working with W3schools as well (I have also been considering Codédex, just because it looks fun, and the Odin project when I get more confidence because it looks intense) So I can "study from different angles" so to speak, in my head if I study one thing multiple ways it stays for longer. And anyways, I found out that Mimo wasn't teaching a shit tone of stuff!!! With html alone there where so manny gaps between what it was teaching me and the questions it would ask me (for example it didn't tech me what a div was (I googled it) but it asked me a question about styling a div in the css section, and it didn’t show me haw to make a table or lists either, it did teach me lists but not until I was already aslo learning Java (if I remember correctly)).

I still think Mimo is good, I did some further digging on places like Reddit and several of those sites where they rate different educational apps, and Mimo still does pretty good! Unfortunately, I like knowing all the stuff about what I'm learning and implied learning (where it teaches you a thing by asking you questions about the thing) isn't for me. I need information first, then repetition to really let it sink in (and again, I need to see things in multiple ways). It's why with Duolingo, I've been moving at a snails pace, learning pretty much anything. Duo does better with its format than Mimo (in my opinion) because with it's "implied" learning your allowed to tap/click on what you don't know and read what it is (or if it's a word that has multiple meanings you can read through those and get good idea). Duo also has these little section notes things that you can read through before you start a single lesson in the section, giving you the info before it asks you questions on the things. I don't think I can continue with Mimo personally, but I still think I'll recommend it for a start at the very least! I also think imma start recommending learning python early on as well, just because what little I know of it was so simple and easy to learn I think it makes a good jumping point and it's good for a lot of stuff!!!

On another note (related), ever since learning that I need the info before I'm questioned on it (I get too frustrated if I don't and it makes it hard for me too keep learning because I feel discouraged), I've figured out how to make learning a bit easier for me and I've been moving so much faster in my various studies (I say say pretentiously). I've also managed to order some textbooks for myself, both for coding and for my SATs! I'm very excited and I'm hoping I can keep this up, learning anything is hard and can get exhausting buy I'm hoping I can get better at all of this, I like this and wanna keep going!

[stargazerlion]

Istg i feel like my life is a low budget sitcom sometimes. So theres a pair of twins I met in school. One is currently my friend, the other used to be my friend until they stopped talking to me a few years back, as best as I can tell because I creeped them out, but honestly I just dont know, and is also my coworker. So I was going to their house after work today since the one who is my friend was going to give me knitting lessons, and I was just gonna take the bus. The one who is my coworker also takes the bus, but weve never ended up on the same one before because I take a different route home and when ive been at their house for knitting lessons before we've left at different times and thus ended up on different busses. Today however, I ended up leaving only about 5 minutes before my coworker, and the bus was late, and also I never told them I was going to their house since Ive been doing my best to respect the minimal contact wish. So they showed up at the bus stop and I had to awkwardly explain to them that no I was not following them home I just had knitting lessons with their sister. So the bus continues to be late but a different bus shows up, they get on and I assume know where theyre going but it turns out they are checking with the driver if it will take us where we need to be, so not knowing quite what to do I slip past them and figure worst comes to worst I get off and walk. The bus is crowded but I see about 2.5 empty seats in the back, which I beeline for. Coworker shows up a minute later, apparently unable to find another seat, and we sit about as far away from each other as we can in the 2.5 free seats. Then we get off at the same stop since we are going to the same place and have to do the awkward walk to their house. What do I do? Its pretentious to go ahead of them to their own house, creepy to fall behind and into their blind spot, and overly friendly to walk beside them as someone who they dont really seem to want to be with. Anyways nothing bad happened it was just awkward as fuck and feels sitcom levels of orchestrated to me at least

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[netflixonyourcouch]

So, since I can't sleep and I have time, I'm gonna go through this and unpack it the best way I can. And in order for me to do this subject the most justice, I feel like we have to start from the last slide.

Men too often grill women in what can be considered niche/nerdy or otherwise male-dominated interests such as video gaming, metal and hardcore, and men's sports. There's an expectation for women to prove themselves, they get subject to questions about their knowledge and their credibility is called into question. I fully understand this and its role in this situation, with perhaps the ease in which the heckler dove into the comments to disparage her.

This situation does have more angles to explore, so I'll put a "Read More" here:

Now let's address her chief complaint, which is being a public influencer and being subject to harsh criticism. The way I feel is that if you are a creator, in the very broad sense of the word, like anywhere from being a content creator to a music or visual artist, or even a creator of products or creator of cuisine - If you have *ANY* product that others consume, there will always be haters, and there will always be critics. Period. I think that's inevitable and I think you have to say fuck the haters and accept the critics.

Anthony Fantano faces similar backlash on his music reviews. His supporters often say, "But how are you upset? It's just his OPINION!" not realizing that his OPINION is also his PRODUCT, his BRAND. He's not simply doing this in a vacuum and neither is Kelsey. I think she is learning what it feels like to be scrutinized as a public figure, but I also think, like most other public figures, she should avoid reading the comments or she'll continue to find herself getting hurt by disparaging comments.

This doesn't contradict the first point I made. She definitely is coming under fire for being a woman and giving her opinion on Beloved Male Band #342 or whatever (I'm not even sure what band they're talking about, but it doesn't really matter as it could be any band really). I would hate to see these haters tear her passion away, and if she thinks these type of call outs will help filter her fandom out, then who am I to stop her? I'm just saying, if I started going viral for music opinions and I started getting racist microaggressions and overtones in my comments, I don't want to take time out of my day to address them. BUT I'm not saying she's wrong for doing so. EYE am just saying I have a difference of opinion in how I'd react to haters in my comments.

FINALLY. One last thing to say, and again, I need to work this as carefully as I can.

As a music critic, which Kelsey doesn't think she is (and we'll discuss that too), you have a certain duty of how you approach music that is revered in music culture. Now, this is perhaps not agreed upon except for the most hardcore music purists, many of them pretentious as fuck. But as a recovering pretentious music snob (I promise I've gotten better over the years!) there is a salient point to be made here.

I have older white friends who didn't really "get" Kendrick Lamar and their chief complain was that they didn't really like his music because it heavily features "the n-word." Imagine that. Pulitzer Kenny! He won the fucking Pulitzer Prize, but your perception of his art completely reduced to "oh, he uses the n-word."

It's not valid criticism. It's your opinion, one that I can't take away from them or try to argue differently but it is in fact REDUCTIVE of Kendrick Lamar and his accomplishments as an artist.

So there's always gonna be artists and artists' works you need to approach with a certain reverence and "show your work" so to speak that you tried to consume their art completely. Like if my white friends did that, they'd realize there are several phenomenonally written Kendrick songs that have a substantial amount of depth beyond the fact that he (as a fucking black artist, mind you) uses nigga in his songs.

Kelsey disagrees with this responsibility because she doesn't fashion herself as a critic. I agree somewhat. If she doesn't want the critic tag and she's purely making content for fun and engagement then so be it. *then why spend time getting angry at the trolls if you're not even trying to be what they are assuming you to be.* If your position is "hey, I'm not a critic, these are just my silly little opinions" then STAND ON BUSINESS THEN. If you listen to 8-10 minutes of Sgt. Pepper and you think it's too whimsical and too psychedelic, then if a hater blowing smoke in your comments about how you didn't listen to it long enough, STAND ON BUSINESS.

But even moreso than that is the philosophical question of *how* should one react to albums. My disposition is this: Critic or no critic, if you have a public platform where people are consuming your content, you have a duty of care to react in a way that says you understood the damn assignment. Once you reach a certain level, you simply can't hide behind "this is just me sharing my opinion" because it's not just your opinion. You are in a position of authority, like it or not. And Kelsey doesn't seem to really enjoy the position of being in authority. But I would argue that you better figure that out before you build out a viral platform, or you better stand on what you post and be able to back your shit up with the fact that you don't care to do it in a traditional way!!

It is my opinion that people who are spotlight music influencers give up their right to have opinions without consequences. In other words, you can say fuck everybody in the club, but you cannot then walk back to your car!!!

This sounds NUTS to someone who doesn't see music opinions as a big deal, and think opinions are just personal and "aren't that deep." Kelsey, you have hundreds of thousands of people following you. Like it or not, you're in showbiz now and your opinions hold weight. You are in the unique (best, very fortunate) position to inform the masses about a subject and have them actually LISTEN to you. You can't misuse your platform by saying (for example, she did NOT say this!!) that Joanna Newsom wasn't your cup of tea because you found her voice to be grating.

"BUT IT'S HER OPINION" you might say. "If she didn't like her voice, you can't force her to like it!" Yeah, and I understand that. I don't like Diamanda Galas because I think her voice is too intense. But I'm also NEVER gonna use my platform and say all that without also acknowledging Diamanda Galas being an important avant-garde artist and nobody should speak on Joanna Newsom if they don't address the complexity of her lyrics and music composition.

It's not just Kelsey. I don't think Gen Z values having a responsibility of holding a music opinion like older generations of music enthusiasts do. But it's ok. I think she'll be ok in the long run, but she's gonna have to shake the haters off and respond to criticism much differently than she's doing here. That's if she wants to keep her current approach of reacting to shit that people hold near and dear to their hearts with silly little videos (her words, not mine).

Like if I was starting a fun film platform, I'm not about to react to watching The Godfather and go, "Eh, not my cup of tea, it was too slow."

But that's just me. Some people would say that's a perfectly valid opinion to have, and I would say they are wrong. And though we might not agree on that, that vast difference of opinion is the entire purpose of this rant.

Also, it goes without saying that all of this would apply if she was a guy too. Like I said, Anthony Fantano faces similar backlash as your stereotypical white male music nerd.

[rt-lots]

Joining in on the Ian and Rammy ask train… 🌂✏️ (and 🍎 specifically for Ian!)

TW for a fair bit of suicide talk!!!

umbrella - i assume this doesnt need an answer for both of them, bcuz they belong 2 the same story. i imagine ian and rammys story being a vidya game, and i guess itd b a psychological horror? which feels like, pretentious to say but the main scaries of the story are how much ians life sucks and he wants 2 die. so... i think itd count. thats all overarching stuff tho... most of ian n rammys time spent together is lightheared, i think. theyre two dudes hanging out and one of them is slowly coming to terms with the fact his suicidal thoughts won. whatever genre that is

pencil - WAHHH it depends a lot of the time... ian and rammy have definitely made a big resurgence in my brain recently (past month) bc im 18 and can post bout em, but also just cuz i love them sooo much and want to chew on them constantly. id say i write abt/draw them pretty frequently tho!! i doodle them on my school work and in notebooks a lot and they have some of the bigger galleries on my toyhouse lawl. i dont write much directly for their universe, but ive typed... many paragraphs to my friends just braindumping the shit i think about them. so, yeah, less often than id like, but theyre up there in my priorities of ocs :3

apple (for ian) - GRAHHHHHHHHHHH u dont know what demons uve unleashed w this. i already twed this post for suicide but im gonna move this part under the cut bc mentioning ians dad specifically ties a lot into the suicide aspect of the story

OKAY SO. ians family consists of his mom, sister, and him. his dad was in the picture when he was a little kid, like early elementary age, but ditched after some time. his relationship with both parents was relatively normal, they definitely couldve done a better job raising him, but they were never intentionally hurtful nor did they scar him at all. (well, correction, his MOM didnt scar him at all)

after ians dad left, though, his side of the family still kept in touch... they gave very flimsy reasonings for his fathers absence, why he couldnt make it to holidays, why he wasnt saying all these things directly, etc. it kept things strained and tense as the family knew things were being kept from them but never got to know why. the last interaction ian ever had w his dads side of the family was on his 18th birthday, where his uncle gifted him a silver handgun with his name carved into the handle. it was a hollow attempt to connect with ian, a display of violent masculinity that ian would later use to try and take his own life.

i dont have it fully figured out what this *means* for ians character, but its something i go insane about. ians only memories of his dad are him doing stereotypical masculine dad things w him, like fishing. maybe he didnt interact w ian ass if he was his child, but if he was his son, and that improper socialization is part of the reason he hates himself- why the gun is what kills him. but... i dunno really. ians social anxiety, addiction, and general collapsing in on himself are cuz of a life time of mental illness that went unchecked until he successfully isolated himself to the point no one *could* care, not just cuz daddy give him gun.

okay! that is NOT what u asked at all but now u know it. hehehe. of course ian and rammys story is a big wip forever so excuse me for any side tangents and/or general plot points w loose ends

but! as for his actual relationships w family (ill include sister since his relationship w mom isnt rlly fleshed out yet):

he and his mom havent spoken in 6 years, nor have he and his sister. he slowly faded out of their lives when he moved away, partly out of a subconscious desire to isolate and partly due to just not having the social confidence or energy to maintain regular communication w his family. his mom is the first person he talks to when he escapes his Puter, and she's his rock in his remaining months of recovery. shes very underdeveloped as a character atm, but what is certain is she tries her hardest to understand her sons struggles and support him, offering to pay for therapy for him. ian loves his mommy lalala

ian and his sister are... dddifferent. ian also had an average relationship w his sister, but shes a lot more upfront with him when it comes to talking about how his 6 year absence effected her than their mom. their mom, while wanting her children to seek help for their respective struggles, doesnt really want to actively talk about those things with them. shes terrified of saying the wrong thing, and it doesnt help that she doesnt even have a clue what *to* say. ians sister, though, isnt afraid to tell him "hey man we fucking missed you. your absence hurt a lot because i didnt have any friends either, and i wish we couldve had eachother. jackass" post main-story they are friendly and hang out. during his time w rammy, ian does talk about his thoughts on his sister before he left, that being that shes a "crazy bitch"... family <3

[cakejerry]

im so glad you can be critical of jk without being cruel i see so many ex-jkks turned jimin solos talk about him like he killed jm with hammers or something just bc he isnt publicly hanging out with him as much and the company favors him like its crazyy to mee.. he clearly doesnt have any direction or identity without his group and hes been spiralling ever since and idk maybe bc im a ancient army who died in the trenches in 2018 and now im kinda back from the dead so the image i have of jk is veeery dated.. but like thats still googie hiding behind whatever hes got going on rn they could never make me hate him !! like obviously hes acting like an inmature teenager .. WONDER WHY .. but i also feel for him bc he molded his personality based on what (RM) his fans told him to be and to see him at his big age say that hes still catering to them in terms of how he presents himself is so sad to me... likee no wonder his version of being himself is doing the opposite of what people tell him to be bro is lichrally stuck at 13 .. also maybe its meee hoping for a redemption arc and getting dissapointed every time he says he for the hundredth time that he wants to be c-word but i can kinda see him trying to be self aware and mature but he has no idea how and hes sooo far behind he should have gone through this at 16 or something, he gets a little close to making sense and then he fucks it up by saying the most delusional out of touch sentence ever and then he makes a finger heart or idk pouts and everyone forgets BUT I DONT !! i remember what you said about your PARENTS when i catch youuuu ..its crazy that the most blank canvas member of bts is kinda the most complex one FOR THE WRONG REASONS and ofc i blame rm he goes on and on with his pretentious rants trying to come off as woke and mature do something for once and book him a therapy session !!!

waitt anon you're literally me I also left them in early 2018 and walking back in a few months ago was wild because they actually massacred my boys like what happened...

but like damn i wonder why this boy who got called 'oppa' and sangnamja constantly by 30 year old women when he was half their age ended up like this. it's like he can't fathom the idea of being cool and manly while also being the maknae.. well we can! we been doing it! he needs to catch up tbh

c-word 💀 "he gets a little close to making sense and then he fucks it up by saying the most delusional out of touch sentence ever and then he makes a finger heart or idk pouts" RIGHT ANON LIKE YOU GET ME he's distracting us because what do you mean "armys are the biggest... even more than my parents..." and then backtracking LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN

'blank canvas' member you're so right for that. company favors him because of that and he just follows aimlessly thinking it was his own idea. like idk, if he had even an ounce of flavor or self-identity he could do something actually revolutionary and interesting, like you want a cool image but you debuted in a hoodie and jeans with a radio hit? does he even know what cool means?

'complex for the wrong reasons' you're so right for that please marry me. he's complex in like a metanarrative way. I can't explain it.

rm catching strays I love it. he really acts like he has all the secrets behind their fame figured out too like bro you the translator c'mon THINK!!

[duskyvision]

m. l. rio - if we were villains

Hi, it's been a while! I've been itching to write a book review because it's been over a year now, and sometimes I just have to scream about books in other places than on Discord (I still scream about books on Discord, but shh).

So why not just write a book review about a book that I did not enjoy? Haha, what a funny thing nobody has ever done before! I sure wonder what this funny guy is going to say about this book he didn't enjoy.

Anyway, this is going to be pretty long, and I'm gonna bitch about a bunch of stuff in here. Will contain spoilers.

Content warnings:

substance abuse (alcohol, drugs)

cheating

suicide

This book was my first venture into the dark academia genre/aesthetic, something I'd seen a bunch of stolen Tiktoks about on my Pinterest feed, but never paid too much attention to, mostly because I don't really care about stories centered on students. Maybe that should have been my first warning sign.

Initially, I wanted to read The Secret History by Donna Tartt because that's apparently what's seen as the dark academia staple, but I decided to stick to this because it was the only book I'd found an audiobook of on Scribd, and audiobooks are more digestible. Read a bit of the blurb and thought, "okay, sounds like it could be interesting".

Man was I wrong.

Reading the blurb, I already knew I'd have to handle pretty pretentious characters, because there's nothing more pretentious than a group of more or less wealthy white theater kids obsessed with Shakespeare (except for rich white business majors and law majors, put one of each category in a locked room and they'd maul each other within 0.5 seconds like wild beasts trying to one-up the other), but holy shit, it was worse than I'd anticipated.

The writing makes everyone and especially Oliver (the narrator) sound insufferable to the point where I wished they could simply shut up. Unfortunately, this book has slug-like pacing and bitches who love to talk on top of chapters that are padded with lines copied verbatim from Shakespeare plays because admittedly you need a very high IQ to understand the nuances and intricacies of Shakespeare plays and how it influences the characters.

And while we're still on writing: while in theory, the script-like snippets are a fun nod to how plays are formatted, it simply doesn't work in audiobook format. Really grating to hear things like "James: Cock" "Me: So true bestie" when my patience was already wearing thin the more I listened to it.

Yet, the writing wasn't the most infuriating aspect of this book to me. I think what infuriates me the most about If We Were Villains is that, ultimately, the entire book tries so hard to be deep and emotional regarding its plot and its characters when said plot is predictably boring and the characters have the depth of a single sheet of paper.

So let's talk about the plot! By the halfway point in the first part of the book, it was made obvious who would die between the main characters, but comically so. The moment Richard started acting up, I felt like the author slapped a huge sign on his head like "Watch out! He's either the bad guy or... THE VICTIM! OMG!" because there was no way Mrs Rio could come back from turning Richard into a goofy Sunday morning kids cartoon villain. And as soon as Richard died, I also predicted the twist itself, because it was so goddamn obvious it felt like it was screamed into my ears.

Now, I usually don't mind if a plotline is predictable. Actually, I enjoy it! It makes me feel smart to predict things and figure out what's happening, and it usually keeps me engaged rather than plot twists that are pulled out of the author's ass! The problem with this book, though, is that I wasn't engaged in the characters to begin with, so following them going through their problems after Richard's death just made me feel a total sense of apathy followed by "so... when are we getting to more plot?"

It focuses too much on trying to give emotional depth to characters whom, in my opinion, severely lack it to begin with. The main characters aren't interesting to me, they're just puppets with names on them at this point. They can really just be summed up into archetypes that are barely explored in a way that feels compelling:

Oliver: The average joe. Oh, look at him, he's so average and surrounded by people who are so much more interesting than him (this is a lie)!

James: The guy. I'm struggling to find anything interesting about him, besides the fact that he's Oliver's best friend and roommate. You can tell he's important because he's Oliver's roommate. I think a loaf of white bread would be more memorable as a character than him.

Richard: Probably the most interesting character in the cast, ironically, solely because he's a fish out of the water. By that, I mean that he's just a jock in the middle of theater kids. Besides that, he's laughable at best: the author tries so hard to make him devoid of anything sympathetic in the moments leading up to his death that it nullifies any emotional investment you could have in any of the characters.

Meredith: The hot girl but like not in an objectified way, in a gaslight gatekeep girlboss way (this is a lie). Richard's girlfriend. Can't catch a break because everyone and their mom objectifies and slut shames her. She usually breasts boobily, not in written script but in spirit due to how her role in the story is pretty much "piece of meat".

Alexander: The weed-smoking gay literature major stereotype, except in a special way because he objectifies Meredith too, for some reason. Diversity win! Gay man is also gross towards women!

Filippa, Wren and Colin: Filippa and Wren exist for the sole purpose of not turning this cast into a complete sausage fest (& Knuckles Meredith). Filippa is the good friend who covers everyone, and Wren is the fragile frail uwu girl. Colin exists solely to be Alexander's boyfriend.

What a totally charming cast of characters who are oh so full of depth, and completely developed throughout this book. There's also a detective guy, but I completely forgot his name because the book spent too much time on this group of pretentious theater kids whining about their interpersonal relationships.

Man, just talking about how much this book bored me is becoming a pain in the ass, so I'll just summarize what I thought about the book here:

Pretentious, flowery writing with sluggish and often jarring pacing

Characters who are equally pretentious and whose high airs desperately try to hide the innate nothing burger-ness of their existence

Extremely predictable plot that's handed to the reader on a platter by the first part, making the reading experience that much more boring when you have 0 affinity nor sympathy for any of the cast members

Final rating: 1/5 (2.29/10 on CAWPILE). I should have dropped this book when I predicted the entire plot instead of being stubborn.

[dailyexo]

[NEWS] Chen - 221115 NME: “Chen of EXO: “Love is about being honest and real with yourself””

"As the EXO singer prepares to release ‘Last Scene’, his first mini-album in three years, he tells NME what he’s learned about love and getting back to music

Since sharing his debut solo mini-album ‘April, And A Flower’ in 2019, EXO’s Chen has carved out an artistic niche for himself as one of K-pop’s most romantic vocalists. His catalogue so far is like a diorama of love – from debut single ‘Beautiful Goodbye’’s bittersweet break-up to ‘Shall We?’’s butterfly-filled new beginnings. On his newest mini-album ‘Last Scene’ – his first material in three years due to mandatory military service – he once again works his way through different stages of a relationship, adding more colourful and heartfelt tales to that display.

Considering this new record’s title, it’s fitting that Chen finds portraying the emotions needed to bring those stories to life an exercise akin to acting. “I often ponder what the protagonist [in the song] would feel or be doing in those certain moments,” he explains, his face cast in careful consideration as he sits in a meeting room in SM Entertainment’s office. “What would I think, what would I feel if I was in that position?” It’s an approach he’s borrowed from his work on K-drama OSTs, which he’s been contributing to since 2014, two years after he debuted with EXO: “I almost feel like an actor myself because I feel that I have to bring out the emotion of the song through my voice.”

As Chen makes his big return to music, he speaks to NME about getting back on stage and in the studio, the meaning of love, and his hopes for the future.

‘Last Scene’ is your first release in three years – how did it feel coming back to the industry and returning to songwriting and performing?

Chen: “Three years has definitely not been a short time and I really felt that over the break that I’ve had. There’s been a lot of throwback moments [in that time] where I’ve been reminiscing about old memories and experiences. But I looked back and realised that I felt like coming back home after a long time and felt very comfortable and happy to be back. In the songwriting, there was a moment of introspection where I had to really look back and that process helped me to open up my eyes and widen my views of the world and how I thought about certain things.”

This is the first release of your thirties, a decade that is often associated with truly settling into adulthood after the exploration and figuring out of the twenties. As you’ve gotten older, how have your experiences and maturity had an impact on the artist you want to be and the stories you want to tell?

“They’ve definitely had a lot of impact on my current music and I realise that in my twenties I received so much love, often love that most people can never really receive in their life. It was a really rare experience and quite precious. I also really took this time to reflect and wonder what love means to me. To me, it’s something that is without extravagant, pretentious decoration – something that is raw and on its own and somewhat organic. I really hope to become an artist who can share through my music how I see things and how I perceive different experiences and show my perspective of things.”

‘Last Scene’ is such a beautiful but emotional song to return with – what was it about the track that made you want to lead with it on this mini-album?

“The first meeting I had with the A&R unit within the company, I had the chance to listen to a couple of candidates of other songs that could have been the title track for the EP. But as soon as I heard this track, it immediately clicked with me and I had no other thought than this is exactly what I want as my title track. So it was an instant moment, almost like love at first sight. A part that really stuck with me and the reason why I chose this song and how I felt when I heard it would be the melody and the harmony, which really clicked with me and touched my heart. It made me recall things that recall love in a certain way, so it was just something that I was very pleased with from the very beginning.”

You wrote the lyrics for the song ‘I Don’t Even Mind’, which is about the complicated feelings around confessing your love for someone. Where did the inspiration for that song come from?

“Out of all the B-side tracks that were coming for my album, I realised that this one didn’t have set lyrics because it came as a demo. It actually took a while for it to come together with the lyrics. Within the demo, there was the phrase ‘I don’t even mind’, which stuck with me. I wanted to maintain that first impression of the song and still carry and show my own voice and wanted to interpret it in my way.”

Your solo material, including this mini-album, has often touched on the many different sides of love. What have you learned about love through songwriting and performing over the years?

“Love is something that we all experience and feel, but it is perceived very differently for each and every one of us. So it’s hard for me to define and conclude what love is [universally], but, for me, love is about being honest and being real with yourself and to your partner. If you really love someone, you have to really love them for who they are. In order to know who they really are, you’ll start to show your real self as well. That interaction allows the two people to create this kind of energy and chemistry. There are white lies that often get told between partners but eventually snowball into a bigger misunderstanding or lack of trust. Honesty is the wisest action and bravest thing to do and has a big part in the definition of what I think love is.”

So far this year, you’ve held a few performances here and there, including a stunning set at HallyuPopFest in London. What was it like returning to the stage after so long?

“It was my first time being in London, actually, for HallyuPopFest, and it was one of the first stages I had after my break, so it was very, very memorable for me. I remember that my performance time was actually during the night, but on the day of the concert, from the morning until the moment I sang the first note, I was nervous throughout the entire day. It was very nerve-wracking, but as soon as I sang the first note, I really felt comfortable and happy, and I felt like I was back where I belonged. All of my worries went away, and I could recall all the nice moments of being on stage before, so I want to thank all the London fans who have been there to support me and had been waiting for me until I was there. I hope to visit again very, very soon.”

What are your hopes for the future as an artist?

“I want to become an artist where I can truly show who I really am and where I can be real. There are certain things that only I can do best on my own. Often, music feels like an act where I have to tell a certain story or share a certain moment in music, but I always try to make it my own. I want to become someone who continues to just showcase my true self the entire time.”"

Credit: NME.

[kritischetheologie]

dealer's choice, any of these you feel like answering: 18, 25, 40, 41, 46 - grideon

get to know your fic writer!

thanks to @grideon for these asks :)))

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

generally towards the end of the writing process. I say generally because there are exceptions; the urbp aka sing myself a lullaby got its title very early on, and saltwater and gasoline somewhere in the middle. but usually, as I start wrapping up, or even once I'm done, I'll either pluck a lyric from the song that I wrote the whole thing listening to, as in the case with caught my reflection in the mirror and there's no need to show me round, baby and the price you pay for a loss of control and... etc. or, I'll come up with something pretentious (the numbering at bethlehem, for example). the majority of my titles come from song lyrics, which is a thing I'm trying with limited success to move past. I'm also experimenting more with silly working titles; the working title of saltwater and gasoline, as an homage to georgia_k, was "several things change."

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

I've said before that I wish I got more of a response on the price you pay for a loss of control, and then I got into a debate with someone about the comment to kudo to hit ratio, and everything got a little weird. repetition compulsion is very, very dear to me and whenever someone mentions it I thrill a little bit inside. the short answer is that I am extremely grateful for all the attention I've ever gotten on my fics, and it exceeds my wildest imagination to even have an audience, so you won't catch me complaining. I would be very interested in going back and doing director's commentaries on more of the parts of sing myself a lullaby that I never got to, or answering more asks about it; it got tons of attention on ao3 and lots of incredibly wonderful comments, but I've been surprised how little I get asked about it in ask games. maybe it stands on its own. who knows.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

oh my god. first of all: any of it and all of it, in any medium, so jot that down. when someone made a moodboard about i'm the weight, you're the kite it made my entire life.

other fics that I think would lend themselves particularly well to being moodboards include s&g and the urbp, as well as everybody wants to rule the world, since those are all fics that have very strong emotions and also have a coherent aesthetic-- you can do a lot with the ferrari red and the mercedes white, with the green in ewtrtw, etc. the yale au, too, given the gothic architecture of it all.

if someone wanted to illustrate a scene, off the top of my head, I'm thinking of the garage scene in s&g, or the scene where charles lays his head in bono's lap after monza; baby nico fighting with his father on the boat in greece in the urbp; seb winning in abu dhabi in ewtrtw... ok maybe these are just my favorite fics of the ones i've written, but like I said, literally anything would be so beloved to me.

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

as a writer: some of my stuff I still reread regularly, others I just post and let lie. I haven't really figured out much of a rhyme or reason to it.

as a reader: I'm a big, big rereader. many of my favorite fics I've read a dozen or so times. it's very rare that I'll only read something once, unless it's very long.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

oof, this one is always the hardest question. definitely character and emotion driven, maybe even to a fault. I've said before that a long internal monologue is easier for me to write than either dialogue or description. I haven't literally written a character just sitting alone in a room thinking, but it feels like it, sometimes.

in terms of themes, I tend to think a lot about the roles that people play in systems; it's a constant from my yale au, which was all about lewis seb and nico within the system of academia, to s&g, where the system of ferrari is the main villain, and comes up a ton in my a/b/o. I am attuned to societal power dynamics, though I like to play with (and sometimes eroticize) them. I've written a fair number of sexual dynamics where the one who is 'bottoming' is actually the one holding the power in the scenario, though the more romantic things I write often end up with more straightforward submission from the pov character's perspective. I'm frequently drawn to sex that is about something, or someone, else, other than the two people who are having it. you'll often find a queer character who's cheating on their straight spouse. my writing is rarely romantic in a straightforward way, but there is almost always tenderness and intimacy creeping in on the margins.

there's certain turns of phrase I come back to; one reader clocked a kinkmeme fill as being mine because of the way fernando said "by the way" at the end of a sentence. other ones I have actively noticed myself doing too often are "x isn't surprised that y, but he is surprised that...", or other things that hinge on what people are expecting vs what happens, as well as "so and so did so and so, like/as if blah blah blah."

[thexgrayxlady]

What I Read in July 2024

The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by S.A. Chakraborty - 4.50/5.00

If you could synthesize a book in a lab, just for me, this would be very close to the end result.

This was a fun, swashbuckling adventure, staring a retired pirate and her middle-aged crew. I love how despite being older, the characters are all still hot messes and absolute menaces to society. Amina, despite trying to reform for her kid, is still an adventurer at heart and you feel how much she loves being back on the sea, getting into misadventures. I was having too much of a good time to take too many notes.

Also Raksh sucks so much. He's just the worst. I love him. I want him to keep trying to serve Amina magical divorce papers forever.

It's really just held back by its ties to her previous series, which is mainly a personal grievance because I'm finding interconnected universes, especially when they don't need to be there, increasingly uninteresting. The part on the Peri's island drags a lot and they take a lot of the tension out of the ending.

The book has a fun, Raiders-esque feel to it. The plot unfolds at a pretty fast pace and I never got tired of the hijinks the characters got into getting the band back together.

Voyage of the Basilisk by Marie Brennan - 3.00/5.00

I'm always weirdly disappointed by these books. Like, they're not unenjoyable, but I always feel like there isn't enough focus on the speculative biology of dragons. The pacing for this book is a lot better than the previous entries, it gets right to business on Isabella's voyage around the world to study dragons. It's very accessible and easy to read. When the dragons are on page, they're really interesting. I really liked the illustrations. Unfortunately, I'm just not terribly interested in the politics of this world.

Wicked Beauty by Katee Robert - 3.50/5.00

I gave Katee Robert another chance and I liked this so much better than Electric Idol. Wicked Beauty made for a fun and easy beach read. The characters are less annoying, except for Hermes and Dionysus, who are, yet again, just so irritating. I hated every second they were on page. Fortunately, there was not very much of them.

I really liked Helen, Achilles, and Patroclus. They had a fun dynamic between them. I appreciate that while they come to care about each other, they have incompatible goals at first and they eventually work to figure out how to make their relationship work. They're all messy bisexual assholes and I loved watching them being messy bisexual assholes.

The ratio of porn to plot was a lot better in this book. The plot is kind of dumb, but it's entertainingly dumb and, let's be honest, you're not reading this series for the plot. There are some things from the plot that I would have changed, one of them is genuine and the other is just a personal preference. I wish that Helen defeating Paris had been from her POV and had more time and weight dedicated to it. It felt like the author was rushing to the end here. I also wish there had been more drama around Patroclus' injuries in the second trial, but that's just my preference. Hiding injuries is my catnip. It was dangled in front of me and then jerked away. Like the football. Jail for Katee Robert. Jail for 1000 years!

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson - 2.75/5.00

I see the appeal of these books. They do not appeal to me.

To it's credit, it is very accessible. Maybe a little too much so for my taste. I am, admittedly, a pretentious asshole. This could have been a fun book. At times, it is very close to being a very fun book. Unfortunately it settles for being the MCU of fantasy in both a complementary and a derogatory sense.

The language is very simple, to the point where the few times where complex vocabulary was used, it was somewhat jarring. I think I can count on one hand the number of times figurative language was used. Everything is very surface level, if it's what you're in the mood for, I could see it being very easy to turn your brain off and enjoy this and not have to worry too much about missing out on subtext.

That being said, everything is explained so often that you have to ask yourself if Sanderson thinks his readers are stupid. You just want to tell him that yeah, you got the point like three paragraphs ago, just get on with it. The over explanation of the, admittedly interesting, magic, the simple plot, and the beyond simple characters lead to the book feeling tensionless and bloated.

I actually like the magic system. When it wasn't being explained every other paragraph. Learning about Allomancy became very repetitive fast and I think at least half of it could have been kept in the appendix for a much tighter book. And because it was so overstated, I became kind of pedantic about it. The magic system doesn't even go as far as it could with its own logic. Why can they push and pull non-magnetic metals? Why is that road copper when it could be a much cooler magnetic metal? You could have a road made out of cobalt or neodymium or even nickel if you wanted something more mundane. Why is pewter the metal that makes you stronger when it's really soft and malleable in real life?

The world itself feels more like a themepark version of itself than an actual lived in world. I wouldn't care about this so much, but Sanderson gets so much praise for his worldbuilding and I do not get it. This is due at least in part to how flat and lifeless the characters are.

Vin is wildly inconsistent. She says over and over and over again that she doesn't trust people and she expects to betray her. Yet every time she encounters someone betraying someone else and she becomes surprised pikachu. Like, she should not need to have what noblemen do to Skaa women explained to her. She should not be shocked and appalled by it. She grew up with that threat constantly hanging over her head. She should not like or trust the nobility as much as she does, as quickly as she does. From the very beginning, she feels more like a sheltered noblewoman than a homeless orphan who makes a living by stealing.

I've very rarely encountered a character as annoying as Kelsier. You can practically see him tip his goddamn fedora and hear him say, "M'lady." I'm not sure a whole chapter goes by without one character or another extolling the virtues of the goddamn Mary Sue. He has one pretty good moment, when he returns to the Pits of Hathsin, and another when Sanderson has another all too brief flash of really good writing with Kelsier's death. The first is nearly immediately undercut when Kelsier single-handedly destroys the Pits in two pages and meets so little resistance in doing so that it feels like he could have done that whenever he wanted to. If he could so easily do this, why does the rest of the plan even need to happen?

Sazed's the best character and even then, he's still wish.com Alfred Pennyworth.

Because the main characters are so overpowered and the antagonists have very little presence on the page, plot has no tension. Everything just feels too easy for the characters. Everything more or less goes according to plan. And when it doesn't, it doesn't feel like they have to struggle to get things back on track. At the end, I had to ask myself what was the point of 2/3 of the book spent gathering the army when Vin and Kelsier were going to solo everything.

The tension is not helped by calling the oppressed underclass The Skaa.

The logbook bits at the start of the chapters are the most interesting part of the book because they're allowed to stand more or less on their own and they don't tell the reader everything that happens, then explain it in the narration, then have the characters discuss it again just to make sure that the reader knows what happened.

Admittedly, the last fifty pages are a blast, but you shouldn't have to slog through six hundred pages of repetitive, annoying, beige prose to get there. The Lord Ruler's entrance is really cool and creepy. What Vin does with the metal arrowheads is creative and frankly just nifty. Unfortunately, my copy had several misprinted pages right when it was getting good, so I couldn't really even enjoy that.

At the end of the day, it honestly feels like Sanderson would rather be writing manuals for a TTRPG than a novel.

Mirrored Heavens by Rebecca Roanhorse - 3.50/5.00

The cover is less criminally ugly than Fevered Star!

I want so badly to like this book more than I do. Unfortunately, it inherits too many problems from the previous book to land as effectively as it could. The author still has to scramble to move characters into place because of how much time the previous book wasted futzing around.

The whole Teek storyline feels rushed and I feel like Xiala should have gone through most of it in the previous book. If her mother, aunt, and the matrons were given more time to develop, then their massacre would have had more of an impact. The scene on the beach where she starts to Sing is really good and I wish that it had the impact it deserved. That being said, once it gets off of the Teek islands, watching her come into her powers is pretty cool and her storyline moves much more smoothly. Her reunion with Serapio is very cute and I love their relationship.

Naranpa's storyline ultimately feels superfluous and hastily tacked on as the conflict pivots away from the Crow God and the Sun God. At the end of the last book, I thought we would get at least something interesting happening at the Graveyard of the Gods and it just never happens. I feel like you could cleanly excise her parts from the book and very little would be lost. It's ultimately just so shallow and disconnected from everything else that it's hard to care.

None of Balem's flashbacks were needed and just leave the book feeling bloated. Frankly, I don't think that Balem's POV is needed to begin with. You could get just about everything you needed from that with some minor tweeks to Iktans.

Serapio's POV is easily one of the strongest. There's a scene with the man he thinks is is father that's so good. You get such a strong sense of his religious trauma and why he feels like his destiny is his only option. You really understand why he latches so strongly onto anybody who treats him like an actual human, like Okoa and Xiala.

Like. I loved the first book in this series. I love these characters. This is such an interesting world. I know it doesn't seem like it from this review, but I like this book. There's a lot of very good stuff in here. It's just held back too much by mistakes made in the previous entry and I wanted it to be better.

[castlebyersafterdark]

just seen some people say they didnt vibe with max's running up that hill scene and i think that reactions and people reacting quickly about media for socials is part of the cause of this new thing where people have so many divisive opinions. when i watch something new i am eyes and ears at full alert, taking in everything as it goes rather than trying to figure the plot out ahead of time, and i realised i would make a shit reactor because it's all happening internally. i dont want to express anything aloud as i watch because you would miss something; dialogue, music, emotional beats? even if stories aren't meant to be consumed in dead silence, i'm amazed at how quickly people form coherent opinions about characters a split second after they've done something instead of just seeing how everything plays out. i'm thinking about lucas 'betraying' the party in s4, people thinking he was genuinely hunting eddie instead of just seeing where his story went. in terms of byler, even now with the story unfinished i am so unable to conjecture real 'proof' or evidences of byler wholly because its open ended! i wont judge anyone until the story is complete.

i'm just amazed by these reactors because theyre usually just GA/nerds, and its fascinating to see them respond and react so quickly and so judgementally, i wonder if it's partially for views now instead of an honest reaction theyre sharing online.

Reaction videos are not something I watch, unless a very funny clip gets shared, I guess because I'm maybe feeling some of the same things you are - they don't feel sincere a lot of the time? I don't think there's anything wrong with all of them. I know a lot of people like watching them especially after they finish a show so they can go back and see what others are taking away which could be interesting. It depends on the reactor. So I can understand the appeal to an extent, but I don't personally like a lot of that format because like you said, the initial over the top gut reaction isn't that useful to me? I'm also mentally absorbing a show if I watch. I'll gasp or maybe cry a little at a scene, laugh, but mostly I'm just watching. The reactor videos are a performance, but then these folks use that performance to inform their opinion. It's a little too off the cuff for my personal taste.

I think for me, I just can't imagine ever filming myself watching something to showcase my emotions, especially if it's something I really care about? So I don't trust reactors as true fans. Because it's just not so authentic. You're aware of the content you're trying to capture. You overly emote, you pay more attention to the fact that you're recording. It's never completely a natural opinion or reaction. I'm not so much into livetweeting/liveblogging, either, so that's probably a factor. Sounds pretentious, but if I care about a movie or show, the first time I watch it I need to be present.

I know when season five drops, I'm turning off my phone from the moment it's available on netflix until I've finished watching what's out myself. That's my plan. Divisive is the key word. Social media moves fast and everyone wants to be the first to post something or see something or point something out. I'll be ok being a day late to things!!

It's why the main Byler fandom on tumblr isn't appealing to me anymore, because one thing I kept seeing is people getting pissy about folks 'pointing out stuff that's been talked about already too many times' or 'I already thought of this theory first and this user is copying me now' as if everyone watched and thinks at the same pace? As if people innately know every post that's ever been made on tumblr or added under the tag? Calm down. Yeah, if it's a rage bait opinion, or blatant plagiarism, but that's not what I'm talking about.

[mythtiide]

🍓 and imani!! pls i care about her so much 🥺🥺

HELL YEAHHH ( i dont have a whole bunch of info on her yet but heres som thoughts ^^)

Imani's wand is actually her primary weapon! meaning she just carries a nailed bat covered in crawler(1) juice around everywhere she goes and because shes with the HAA(2) everyones pretty much fine with it.

Shes got super speed and strength just over the line of a standard magica, able to hit crawlers hard against the noggin and send them flying without dislocating her shoulders lol im still thinking other abilities for her so i might just spend hours on the superpower wiki

ALSO ive been thinking about combo moves a little bit and I think a pretty powerful combo attack between Angel and Imani would include sending a big honking ball of Holy Flame into a cemetery(3) or just a really fuckin massive crawler and it looks cool as fuck in my head soooo shdjak

Glossary

crawler (1) - Term I made up on the spot for the infected zombies magical girls fight lol

H.A.A (2) - Stands for Heaven Archangel Association, does all of the legal stuff involving figuring out labor hours, wether they should pay wage that messy stuffs.

cemetery (3) - Group of crawlers

[sukunasweetheart]

A better way to enjoy chocolate.

Pretty much just reader trying to give Sukuna some chocolates on Valentines. Highschool AU, gender-neutral reader, SFW content

Sukuna looks at the pile of boxed chocolates, seemingly unphased. Everyone peers to look. “Uwah! You got so much this year!” Yuuji exclaims. “Ridiculous.” He sighs, shoving all of them into a disposable plastic bag. “It’s actually pretty amazing how you went out of your way to bring your own plastic bag for this. You were expecting this, weren’t you? Pretentious bastard,” Nobara adds. “Well, it does happen every year,” Megumi says as he casually scrolls through his phone.

Megumi's the first one to leave for class and Nobara and Yuuji follow after him. You look at the daunting bag of chocolates Sukuna holds in his hand and gulps. “Do you like chocolate, Sukuna?” You ask him carefully. “...Not particularly. I don’t like sweet things. But if I throw these out, that idiot’ll never stop yapping about it. Something about going to hell if you waste food. So annoying,” he clicks his tongue. You offer a laugh at his brutal honesty, quietly regretting your own chocolates that you had made to give him today.

The two of you were dating anyway, so it wasn’t exactly necessary, right? Sukuna discreetly gives you a side glance, but you don’t notice it.

Morning classes passed by without much happening, and it soon became lunch. You watch as a classmate approaches Sukuna at his desk and holds her own homemade chocolate out towards him. “Hey. I just wanted to give you this. No feelings involved though, so don’t worry about it,” she tells him. This was obviously said for you to hear, since there was almost nobody in this school who didn’t know of his relationship with you (Sukuna is notorious for just as many reasons as Yuuji is...maybe a little more towards the sinister side of things). This apparently didn’t stop people from trying though, unfortunately. It would be a lie if you said you didn’t feel the least bothered by this. Sukuna looks at her lazily, and just gestures towards the bulging plastic bag that lay beside his desk. The class atmosphere freezes up a little as everyone looks over. S-So cold…! They all thought in unison.

However, the girl just gives a small chuckle as if she had been expecting such a reaction and just added hers onto the pile before going back to her own group of friends. “What a cruel guy,” Nobara gives Sukuna a look of distaste. He shrugs in response and proceeds to yawn. “Now, now…” You naturally take the role of the peacemaker, simultaneously thinking about what you should do with your chocolates. You had actually made four small bags, one for each of your friends. They were wrapped in clear plastic sleeves, tied up with a ribbon on top. Except, Sukuna’s one is...

Yuuji and Megumi both stroll in through the classroom door. “Yo~! We came to visit. Let’s eat lunch here today!” He says cheerfully. The two of them take the empty seats of the students who went to the cafeteria to eat. You couldn’t give the chocolates to Sukuna in front of them. Then you’d have to give him his as well - or else it'd feel like you were excluding him. Guess I'll just give it to them later on, privately.

“And? Where’s our choco, Y/N?” Nobara cheekily grins at you. You freeze up, mind giving you a throwback to the memories of last night when you had told her of your plans in advance. Silent panic echoes in your mind. “I-It’s,” You feel Sukuna’s gaze shift onto you, “...In my bag!” You hurriedly rummage your bag and pull out the three bags, making sure to avoid eye contact. “I made one for all three of you…” You say, avoiding eye contact with him. “Eh? You made one for us too?” Yuuji asks, wide-eyed. “Yeah. I thought I’d give it a try this year.” You hand them all over. “Thanks, Y/N!” Yuuji immediately opens it and plops one into his mouth. “It’s good!” Megumi also gives you a thanks but puts it to the side for now, wanting to finish his lunch first. Nobara gives you a questioning look. “What about Sukuna?” “Eh? Ah, I... kind of figured he didn’t like sweets so,” you turn to face him. “Sorry, Sukuna. Should I have made you some as well? I wasn’t sure if couples who were already dating gave chocolates on Valentines.” It’s a painful lie, but you manage to say it. “...No. I don't really care.” He looks entirely unaffected. It kind of hurt in its own way, but you ignore it and sigh out of relief for now. It was way too embarrassing to give it to him in front of the group. But now that you've said such a lie, you don't think you’ll be able to give it to him at all anymore. There was a bit of an awkward silence momentarily, but Yuuji being Yuuji - naturally carried the group's conversation elsewhere.

A few minutes later, Sukuna stands up to go to the toilet. Whilst Yuuji and Megumi are talking about something that you admittedly zoned out on, Nobara snatches up your bag and takes a peek inside. “H-Hey!” You shout-whispered. “...I knew it. You did make them! Why are you-” She stops and notices their shape. “That’s so...cute?” She gives out an amused laugh and quietly puts it back down. You fan at your face, cheeks aching with embarrassment. “Make sure you give them to him. Trust me. I’ll beat him up if he doesn’t appreciate it,” she tells you. “I’ll try…” you say meekly. Unbeknownst to you, Yuuji grins at Megumi upon hearing this and Megumi responds with his own subtle smile. 

- The bell rings for the end of school. Sukuna stands and leaves first, telling you that he had something he needed to do after school and that you should go home first. Before you can stop him, he's already left the classroom. “Go after him,” Nobara pushes you, so you hurriedly pack your things up before running out.

More than ten minutes have passed, and you can’t find him. You want to call or text him, but you’re worried that he was in the midst of doing something important. It’s rare of him to stay back at school, after all. You sigh, and tell yourself that you’ll just give up with this year’s one.

Walking out of the school’s entrance, you see Sukuna standing nearby with his usual bored expression, hands in his pockets. He catches sight of you and immediately approaches. “I thought you had something to do at school?” You start to say. “Obviously a lie. What took you so damn long?” He scratches the back of his head in annoyance. “I was looking for you inside! Also why did you lie?” You question him. “Nevermind that. You could have just called...No, that’s not the issue right now. Give.” He suddenly stretches his palm out in front of you. “Eh? Give what?” The thought of the chocolates go right over your head.

“You...the thing that you gave to everyone else except me. I know you have mine. Don’t keep me waiting,” He says, frowning. The realisation hits you like a truck and you give him a helpless smile. “How’d you know…?” You ask, quick to reach into your bag. “How long do you think I’ve known you for? The others probably knew too,” he says nonchalantly. “But I thought you wouldn’t want them...you've gotten so much. And you don’t even like sweets.” You place the bag gently on his palm. “Idiot. We’re dating. There’s no reason to not accept them if you've made some for me.” He gives them a look and grins.  “Oh…? Now I understand why you couldn’t give it to me in front of the others.”

Only Sukuna’s chocolates were heart-shaped, when the others' had been circular ones. He’d rather die than admit it, but he thrives on getting this kind of special attention from you. You get flustered and look at your feet. “It’s true that I don’t really like sweets.” He tells you suddenly. “You don’t have to force yourself to eat them-” “But there’s a way of eating them that would make it taste a bit better,” he cuts you off. You were confused as to what he was talking about, and you watched as he opened the bag and popped one of them into his mouth before pulling you in for a kiss.

Your eyes were widened in shock as you barely had the time to register all of this - he was already slipping his tongue into your mouth. One hand on your hip, and the other on the back of your neck, you're so close to his body, getting pulled into his warmth that threatens to melt you, the taste of the chocolate starting to spreading across your taste buds as he's making out with you passionately. Before you know it, you're reciprocating the gesture and kissing him back, your hands rising up, gripping tightly onto his uniform. Chocolate has never tasted any sweeter. You can feel your own body beginning to heat up and you're gradually running out of breath. As your tongue is intertwining with his, the chocolate is getting pushed back and forth, and your desire to get even closer to him is growing, growing, growing.

The last of the chocolate had melted away from the exhilarating temperature the two of you had built up and he finally breaks the kiss, leaving you breathless and gasping for air. You can't tell if this remaining aftertaste that lingered on your tongue was the taste of the chocolate, or the taste of him. Nonetheless, you adore it.

“Much better.” He licks his lips and smirks at you. Still in shock, you lack a response except for your flustered face and your eyes that are now reflecting a glint of lust within. Sukuna hums in satisfaction at this expression of yours and he gently drags his thumb across your lower lip.

“We should do this more often.”