A Complete Set (Whatever That Means) || 1
This is a direct sequel to Skin Deep which can be read here. From now on I'm splitting up any one shot that is longer than 10k. So here is part one of this sequel. 6k.
Johnny pierces fem!reader’s nipples.
About this: at least five nipples in this one, an altogether questionable use for a sequel, nipple play, graphic depiction of nipple piercings, alcohol, jealous!soap, spoilers in the 'about this' section, iffy writing. Reader has enough hair to “hold back” and height difference necessitates that she “looks up” to speak to Simon.
-
Thirty minutes waiting for Green Jade Chinese takeout when you’re only a block from the restaurant is a crime. It’s even more of a crime when it’s thirty minutes spent away from Ghost—whose name you have learned is Simon. Laying on the sofa in Skin Deep, your stomach gives another shameful growl. You glance at the clock on your phone, hoping he hasn’t run into trouble…though you’re not sure there’s much in the way of trouble that Simon couldn’t handle.
The bell over the door rings, and you sit up, smile blooming in anticipation.
“Hey youuu–fuck!” you nearly shriek.
Standing in the doorway is a man who is decidedly not Simon, though there are similarities. They are both tall (though Simon must stand a hand taller), and broad (this bloke’s biceps are threatening the sleeves of his t-shirt as he crosses his arms across his chest), but that is where the similarities end. Where Simon is pale and blond, this man is tan and brunet, his hair a cropped mohawk that looks soft to brush one's fingers through.
Looking over his shoulder is a beautiful woman with braids that drip down to her shoulder blades.
“I tend to have that effect on women,” he says, glancing back at her.
“I can imagine,” she says, no small hint of flirtation in her voice.
“Um. Sorry, but there aren’t any walk-ins,” you remind them. The sign had been right bloody there. Could they not read? A more important question: were they murderers looking for their next victim? In the city, one could never know if a person was malevolent or just stupid.
“Where’s the big guy?” the man asks. He holds up a hand a few inches above his head. “Tall. Devastatingly handsome. Monosyllabic.”
“He should be back any minute.” That’s what you’re supposed to say, right? You always let the murderers know that time is not on their side; no inconvenient prey here. Try again elsewhere. “Maybe you two could wait outside.”
The man does a neat little trick with his tongue, flashing a silver barbell piercing at you like a calling card. “I’m the piercer, lass. I own forty-nine percent of the business. Let Ghost know I’m back with a client, alright? Nice meetin’ you.”
The two of them disappear together behind the curtain at the back of the shop, leaving you hoping that a small hole will open up directly beneath your coordinates and swallow you whole. Hopefully it will leave the shop intact. Maybe you had the time to let Simon know not to look for your body—
The bell rings again, and this time it is Simon, his mask still pulled up over his nose and mouth, one paper bag of fragrant Chinese food tucked under his arm. He takes in the sight of you with your head in your hands, elbows on your knees and approaches with caution.
“What’s this?” he wonders out loud. He sets down the bag and tears it open: egg drop soup, pork fried rice, crab rangoon. All your favorite goodies. A feminine giggle is heard from the back of the shop and he sighs, eyes rolling toward the ceiling.“Soap. What’d he say to you?”
“Nothing. I just put my foot in my mouth.”
“Yer a flexible one, aren’t you.”
“Just in that one, very specific way, trust me,” you say, accepting the disposable chopsticks he hands you. You break them apart and go looking amongst the packages of food for your rice. “I mistook him for a client and asked him to wait outside.”
Simon sucks on his teeth, a sure-fire sign that he is trying not to laugh.
You launch a chopstick at him, scoffing when he catches it nimbly out of the air and offers it back to you.
“Careful with that,” he says solemnly. “Could have taken my fuckin’ eye out.”
In the back, a scream rings out. You jerk, nearly upending the rice in your lap. Under his breath, Simon mutters: “Always Soap with the screamers.”
-
That night, the two of you fuck at his flat. He puts you on top of him, where you can control how deep the penetration is, and it gives you a chance to explore the angles that you never really had a chance to explore with other partners. With others, it had been a race: rushing toward some blissful edge, hurrying to get them (and if you were lucky, yourself) off as quickly as possible. With Simon, you were just discovering that sex could be fun; sex could be slow; sex could end with no one orgasming and it could still change your life.
He is an excellent sport while you ride him, his eyes quiet and soft in a way they aren’t when you’re outside of his flat together, when the mask is on and pulled up into place. If he weren’t so fucking put together, you might say that he were pussy drunk. As it is, he stays still, hands kneading your thighs until you nearly get a cramp in your hip and then he sits up, guiding you off of him and back into the bedsheets, laying face to face to fuck you in a way that is so painfully intimate it makes you want to shut your eyes.
Afterwards, you curl up against his side and find yourself playing with his nipple piercing. He’s got cute nipples: small and pink as his mouth. The barbell is black, a nice contrast to his skin tone. He watches you sometimes, other times letting his eyes fall shut.
“Did this hurt?” you ask him, tugging on the barbell a little.
“Yes,” he says in that dry way that lets you know your question has amused him.
“You know what I mean. You’ve gotten tattoos and had your ears pierced. What’s the worst pain?”
He shifts to touch a spot on his inner arm where a black and white skull rests. The skin is delightfully soft and thin. “This part nearly had me in tears. Barely felt the nipple, in comparison.”
Your mouth says it before your brain comprehends it: “Maybe I should get mine done.”
He stares at you, eyes briefly falling to your breasts. He reaches down and skims his fingers along the curve of one, his fingertips calloused but his touch so very soft. He says: “Soap did this, didn’t he?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re alone with Soap for sixty seconds and now you want your tits pierced. Are you saying that’s a coincidence?”
You frown. “I don’t know. I mean, maybe he influenced me, subconsciously?”
“He didn’t ask you?”
“No! He had a client with him.”
Simon hums. His face is closed off, expression unreadable. You can sense there is more that he holds back the same way you can sense a body of water is deep, but he doesn’t share and you don’t push him, not sure if you’re ready to take that plunge yourself.
“It was a silly idea,” you backpedal. “Forget I said anything.”
“It’s your body,” Simon says, ignoring your words. “You should do whatever you want with it.”
“Yeah? You’d be surprised how rarely anybody ever says that to a woman.”
“Most people are cunts.”
“True.” You reach out and thumb at his nipple again, just to satisfy the urge in your own tiny, one track brain. He takes a measured breath—for Simon, that’s as good as a moan. Your eyes flicker down, but his cock is hidden somewhere beneath the sheets. “Want to go again?”
He guides your hand down to wrap around his cock which is like hard steel wrapped in smooth velvet.
You roll on top of him. The cramp in your thigh has faded by now. Reaching up, you palm your breasts, briefly playing with your nipples. You’ve never considered yourself to be particularly sexy, but the way he looks at you makes you feel powerful, like the sun lives just underneath your skin.
“I think I do want them done,” you say, watching the hungry way he watches your fingers. He sits up, tugging you onto your knees so he can take one nipple into his mouth and tease it with the sharp line of his teeth.
You figure that’s as good a blessing as any.
-
Simon tends to spring things on you. Texts are usually last minute and painfully succinct: dinner? or my place? He is prone to just showing up out of the blue, unafraid (and unoffended) to take no for an answer when you’re busy.
One sunny fall afternoon, the thing he springs on you is Soap. Simon brings you to the shop, telling you that he needs to meet with a client. You’ve never tagged along to something like this before, but you’re beginning to think that there are few places Simon could go where you wouldn’t want to follow. Convinced you will be hiding in the back of the shop without a word to alert either of them to your presence, you agree easily enough.
But when you arrive, that client is Soap, and instead of letting you hide in the back, Simon picks up a chair with one hand, hauling it across the room so that you both sit flanking Soap on either side while he’s in the tattoo chair getting some fancy, winged symbol just over his pec.
“We’ve got a spectator? A voyeur?” Soap asks, rubbing his hands together. “Oh you know all my seedy kinks, Ghost.”
“I can leave, really,” you offer, already moving to stand.
“Sit,” Simon says.
You sit. Johnny sheds his shirt with obvious relish, and you find the artwork on the wall just over his shoulder to be incredibly interesting all of the sudden.
Soap extends a hand to you. “The big guy still hasn’t introduced us. Some call me Soap, but beautiful women are allowed to call me Johnny.”
You shake his warm hand to be friendly and make the mistake of meeting his eyes. They are very blue, framed by dark lashes and expressive eyebrows. He flashes his tongue piercing at you again and you jerk your hand back like you’ve been burned. He laughs.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, MacTavish,” Simon murmurs, putting a gloved hand flat on his chest to force him back against the chair. You see then that Johnny has both his nipples pierced: little golden rings that compliment his tanned skin.
He’s fit, unfortunately.
You look back at the picture on the wall while Simon grabs the razor to shave Johnny’s pec. You learn that there’s no such thing as silence when Johnny is in the room. He keeps up a consistent chatter of conversation while Simon preps his body and lays the stencil, and it goes a long way to putting you at ease.
“Would you hold my hand, lass?” Johnny asks, eyes big and guileless. “I’m scared of needles.”
Simon rolls his eyes, tugs his mask into place, and starts the gun without waiting for your response. The buzzing causes a visceral reaction in you, reminding you of your own tattoo that you had received from Simon only weeks ago. A craving rises up in you, tangible in your throat (and between your legs). You shift on the chair Simon brought over for you, eyes drawn to his hands to watch him work.
Johnny wiggles his fingers at you, palm up.
Your chair legs screech against the floor as you scoot in bursts towards him and take his hand. You haven’t even held hands with Simon yet, and here you are holding hands with his best friend. Suddenly regret has you wishing you could draw your hand back and wipe the touch away on your leggings. Unaware of your turmoil, Johnny heaves a sigh, giving you a smile that is painfully handsome. “There. Now I feel safe.”
“You shouldn’t,” Simon reminds him.
“Ready to tell me where your newfound generosity has come from?” Johnny asks, straining his neck to glance down at Simon’s work. “What happened to never tattooing friends for free?”
“I want you to owe me,” Simon says, voice quiet and distracted as he traces the line work.
“You need a favor,” Johnny guesses.
“Something like that.”
“Well don’t leave me in suspense.”
“She wants her nipples done.”
Simon lifts the gun away from his skin just in time for Johnny to jerk in the chair, head swiveling to look at you. Your own head has swiveled to look at Simon, who holds both hands up innocuously, looking not at all apologetic or regretful.
“You want me to cop a feel of your girlfriend’s tits?”
“Don’t say it like that!” you squawk.
“It’s true. We get very close and personal during a piercing, lass—“
“There’s a fundamental difference between copping a feel and touching my breast—“ You realize that you are still holding Johnny’s hand and you practically toss it away.
“I’m not laying a finger on her,” Johnny says firmly, speaking only to Simon now (likely considering you a lost cause). “Period. Out of the question.”
“I’m not letting her go to a stranger,” says Simon, brows drawn down low on his forehead. “So get over your own bullshit and pierce her, Johnny. It’s fine.”
Johnny’s mouth shuts with such force that his teeth click together. He turns his eyes on you and stares. You feel like you’ve already taken your top off even though you’ve done no such thing. Shyly, you cross your arms in front of your breasts, giving him your best glare. It has the opposite of intended effect; Johnny’s gaze softens a little, turns pitying.
“Alright,” he says. “Consider my bullshit over with.”
Simon inclines his head in gratitude. He picks back up the tattoo gun.
-
“What’s the story with you and Johnny anyway?” you ask Simon over dinner. He rarely takes you out, more content to spend time alone in private rather than in public. His eyes can’t stop scanning the few people in the restaurant. Sometimes his hand reaches for his mask, instinct urging him to draw it back over his mouth and nose, but he doesn’t.
“We met in the SAS, been friends ever since,” he says succinctly.
“How’d you two go into business together?”
“I was doing stick ‘n pokes for anyone who would sit still. He was piercing soldier’s ears in exchange for cigarettes. We both decided we’d rather live to see thirty, so when our time was up, we didn’t re-enlist, pooled our money, bought a location and never looked back.”
You frown. “I didn’t know you were in the military.”
He nods, sipping at a water (he’d refused your offer to share a pint together). You’re aware suddenly of how much there is about Simon that you don’t know.
“Was Johnny the one to pierce your nipple?”
Simon stills for a moment, considering the question. At length he sets his glass down and says slowly: “Yes.”
“Why do I sense there’s a story there?”
“Because there is. I’m sure Soap will be thrilled to tell it with as many details as possible.”
“Shouldn’t you tell me first, to control the narrative?”
Simon’s mouth twitches, lips quirking upwards at the edges. Coaxing one of his rare smiles from him never failed to make you feel like you were walking on clouds. He says: “You’re clever.”
“High praise.”
“Does that do something for you?”
“What?”
“Being praised.”
You sputter a little, flustered. But then it occurs to you: “Are you changing the subject?”
This time he grins, full and beautiful. You think about Soap calling him ‘devastatingly handsome’, and while there was a part of you that was sure the masses would not agree with your assessment of him, you couldn’t help but find Simon striking. Looking at his smile makes you smile, an unconscious mimicry.
He catches the waitress as she comes by and asks for the check.
-
“You look frightened,” Johnny says when he spots you as you come into Skin Deep. He’s seated on the couch where you and Simon had sex, texting on his phone. How he knows you look frightened, you couldn’t say; he hasn’t even looked up to greet you.
“What gave me away?” you ask, feeling queasy. You’d spent half the night awake watching videos on reddit of people getting their nipples pierced feeling increasingly panicked. It looked brutal. It made no sense to stick a needle through one of the most sensitive parts of your body. But it hadn’t made sense to be stabbed a hundred thousand times by microneedles either—and you’d done that. Eagerly, even.
“That look on your face that says you’re about to be sick,” Simon says from behind you.
You turn and give him a tepid glare. It’s all you can muster.
Johnny leads you back through the curtain, which you cross with a muted giddiness (your first time in the back of the shop!). It leads to a narrow hallway with a few frosted doors. One is clearly marked as a bathroom. One isn’t marked at all. The last has the light on inside, turning the frosted glass a golden yellow. The writing on the glass says SOAP’S ARTISAN PIERCINGS. He opens the door and ushers you both in.
The room is small, with a chair similar to Simon’s except for performing piercings. One wall is dominated by cabinets and drawers and mirrors, a small porcelain sink. A table holds a photobook which you make the mistake of skimming through—it’s full of clits, labias, penises, and nipples, all with a variety of gruesome appearing jewelry.
“Ow,” you mutter, shutting the book.
“Getting ideas for your next piercing?” Johnny asks over his shoulder, washing his hands at the sink. He soaps himself up to the elbows, like a surgeon preparing to root around in your open chest.
“No,” you say. “Definitely not.”
Simon has seated himself in one of the chairs in the corner, his legs looking obscenely long with the way they are folded. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, watching you closely. You pull a face at him just to watch the way his eyes roll.
“Everything off from the waist up,” Soap says, tugging gloves into place. “Any allergies? Latex, dyes?”
He is much more abrupt today than he had been yesterday. You’re almost moved enough to ask him if he’s upset, but perhaps this is just his professionalism. Regardless, you miss the easy-going nature that had gone so far to put you at ease yesterday.
“No,” you say, shrugging out of your shirt. It is warm in the room but goosebumps still bloom along your arms and chest. God, are you really doing this? Are you really exposing yourself to Simon’s best friend? You glance back over your shoulder, but Simon’s face gives no indication of what you should do. The message is clear: you have to choose. Taking a deep breath, you slide the straps of your bra down your arms and reach around back to undo the clasp, folding everything nice and neatly into a pile on the chair beside you. Your nipples immediately pucker, whether from nerves or some unwilling arousal, you couldn’t say.
Johnny isn’t even looking at you. He’s opening up packages of frightening looking tools: scissors with clamps on the end, needles, toothpicks? “Had any caffeine today?”
“No. Wait, yes. A tea.”
“Goddamnit, Ghost. You and yer bloody teas.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No, not really,” Johnny says. “I’d prefer if you hadn’t drunk it, but what’s done is done. Makes the blood thinner though, you know.”
“Didn’t know that. I thought that was just alcohol.”
“Alcohol is worse,” he agrees. He glances over his shoulder, but towards Simon whose dark figure is haunting the corner of the room. His expression is sly. “Ghost knows all about that, aye?”
You latch on to this news eagerly. “Are you talking about when you pierced his nipple?”
Johnny’s brows lift in obvious surprise. “He told you about that?”
You hear the creak of the chair behind you as Simon shifts but you don’t turn to look at him. “He told me some of it?” you say, voice pitching upward at the end in question.
“Which parts, exactly?”
“Just that you were the one who had done it.”
“Left out all the tastiest bits,” Johnny says. “I bet he does that a lot when talking about his days with the 1-4-1.”
Your stomach dips.
“That’ll do,” Simon says sternly from the corner.
Johnny scoffs a little, muttering something under his breath as he arranges the tools to his liking. The silence that lingers is thick and awkward. Eager to break it, he turns to you and your tits. “Alright then. Let’s see what we’re working with.”
You want to cross your arms more than you want to take your next breath, but you don’t. You don’t breathe either, really. Johnny stares at your breasts and then asks you to stand and come closer. Knees knocking together, you do, until you are close enough to smell his cologne or aftershave—whichever you aren’t sure.
“Biggest question here,” he says, glancing back toward your eyes. “Are we doing one today or both?”
“Uh—both?”
“Let me bring this to your consideration,” Johnny says. “If you can’t go without playing with them, I recommend just doing one at a time. Because once I pierce it, it’s hands off for six months. No touching, no twiddling, no teasing, no twisting, definitely no tasting, I’m talking to you, Ghost—“
“Fuck off.”
“—so if that’s a dealbreaker, I recommend leaving one to play with. Stagger them. Mitigates the loss a little.”
You glance back at Ghost. On the one hand, nipple play is a favorite of yours. On the other hand, if you don’t do both today, you might chicken out and never come back. In the end, you decide: “Let’s start with one and see how I do.”
“Yer the boss, hen,” Johnny says solemnly. He tears open a tiny package, the bitter scent of antiseptic stinging at your nose. “Any preference on left or right? Do yeh have a favorite?”
“A favorite?”
He snorts. “Alright—which side do you sleep on?”
You say your left, so he takes the antiseptic wipe to the right breast and warns you with a brief, It’s chilly, before swiping it across your nipple. You hate every moment of it, mostly because the stimulation feels good in a distant, muted way. Teeth gritting, you wait for him to be done, even though he is a consummate professional and going as fast as he can.
Next he takes one of the toothpicks, dips it in ink, and marks a spot on either side of your nipple where the needle will pierce. It’s more on the areola itself; you can’t decide if that makes it more or less tolerable.
“Go check the placement in the mirror, let me know if you’re level,” says Johnny, tossing away the toothpick.
You turn to Ghost instead. “Will you be my mirror?” you whisper.
The corners of his eyes crinkle behind his mask. He beckons you closer with two fingers, and you walk to him on unsteady legs. His hand cups your breast, careful not to touch any part that Johnny has sanitized as he looks you over thoroughly.
“Perfect,” he mutters, almost like a curse.
“Hey! No touching!” Johnny calls, crumpling a piece of trash noisily in his fist. He sounds irritated. “Don’t you make me sanitize her again!”
When you and Simon have finished, Johnny adjusts the chair until it is laying flat and helps you up onto it.
“Normally I freehand most piercings,” he says. “But since this is your first, I’m going to use a hemostat clamp. Looks like this—“ He shows you the device which looks like scissors but with clamps instead of blades, holes strategically placed for the needle to be pushed through. “—and I’ve been told it hurts more than the piercing itself, so be warned.”
“I’m warned,” you whisper weakly.
“Arm up, over your head lass.”
He scoots his chair beside you and then gently touches your breast, the latex warm from his body heat. He adjusts the clamp and then grips down tightly, ensuring that the marked spots of ink are within the holes. It does hurt, but not as badly as you imagined. You let out a breath. You can do this.
“Ready for the needle?”
Yeah, you can’t do this. Your other hand reaches out blindly towards Simon. After a moment, you feel his touch: hand warm and solid where he laces your fingers together awkwardly. Neither of you have had much practice in the way of hand holding—and none at all with each other—but you feel his touch all the way in your toes, and you think that’s a pretty good sign.
“Make all the sound you want,” Johnny mutters, breath fanning across your outstretched arm. “It helps, trust me. On three. One—“
He pierces you. You suck in a breath through your teeth. “You bastard, that hurt way more than the clamp!”
“Yeah,” says Johnny, guiding the jewelry through your nipple. He looks down at you with a sad, strange smile. “I’m a liar.”
-
You shower together that night. The shower is small for a man of Simon’s stature. Add you into the mix and it’s positively tiny, but that just means you both have to stand close together, bodies brushing against each other with each movement. He puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you to the spray to let the water run across your sore breast, thumbs kneading at the tense muscles of your shoulder blades.
You relax back against him, feeling his hard cock against the small of your back. He doesn’t do anything about it, so you don’t either.
“What’s the verdict?” you ask him. “Do you like it?”
“Is it important to you that I like it?” he asks, voice rumbling against your back.
You think.
“Yes,” you say.
His hand comes down to ghost over your unpierced breast, cupping it in his huge palm. Your hard nipple rasps against the calluses on his hand making you shiver even in the heat of the shower. He squeezes softly, pulling a sound from the back of your throat that is lost thanks to the roar of the water against the tiles.
His mouth brushes against your ear, lips damp: “I like it.”
You twist in his arms, his cock dragging against your slick body, and look up at him. His hair is plastered to his forehead, a shade darker than usual. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You guide his hand to your hair. “Hold this for me.”
You slip down onto your knees.
-
How’s the piercing healing? Simon messages you one afternoon. Soap won’t shut up asking me about it.
Give him my number, you suggest.
After a lengthy silence, Simon texts: He says he doesn’t want it.
And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Maybe it was some weird piercer/client boundary he didn’t want to cross, but Ghost had come across more stringent (in just about every aspect of life) and he had had no problem crossing the tattoo artist/client boundary to text you mock ups of your tattoo. Something in your gut goes sour. Something sows itself in the soil of your heart, something thorny and unpleasant, and you don’t like it one bit.
It’s fine, you tell him. I’m taking care of it.
Okay, he says. And that is the end of that.
-
The next time you see Johnny, it is Simon’s birthday. True to form, he does not make a big fuss of it, though it’s clear that this is the first birthday he has shared with a romantic partner perhaps ever.
He genuinely seems to appreciate the Bluetooth stencil printer you bought him as a gift (he’d looked at the wrapped present like he didn’t know what to do with it, unwrapped it with the same enthusiasm as a man walking to the gallows, but when he’d seen it, he’d given one of those slow, rare grins; the crooked ones thanks to the scar across his mouth), and you silently congratulated yourself on getting him something practical over something sentimental.
“The boys want to get together,” he says that afternoon. “I want you to come, too.”
How could you say no to that?
So you doll yourself up, wearing your nicest pair of skinny jeans and a sweater to keep away the autumn chill. You are giddy at the thought of meeting Simon’s other friends, so much so that you cleanly overlook Johnny’s hot and cold act. At least there will be others there to act as buffers between the two of you.
The pub itself is more crowded than Simon would like. He won’t even take his mask off, keeping his back against the wall and eyes on the door. Not for the first time, you wonder if he doesn’t have some sort of PTSD, something leftover from his time in the service. It would make a lot of things make a lot more sense.
You meet Kyle, who clasps your hand with both of his own, grinning so fetchingly. “Nice to meet you,” he shouts over the sounds of the pub. “Simon’s never brought a woman around before. You must be special.”
“That means be on your best behavior, Garrick,” Simon says dryly, shifting his mask to sip at a beer—the first you’ve ever seen him drink.
“Yes, sir.”
John arrives next. He’s older than the others, though there’s not yet any hint of silver in his facial hair. He smiles, eyes twinkling, and shares Kyle’s sentiments. It shouldn’t make you feel as special as it does, knowing that Simon hasn’t brought a woman to meet his friends before. But it does. It means something. The two of you still haven’t discussed exactly what your relationship is, but it seems clear in the eyes of everyone around you, which makes you feel a little more like you’re standing on solid ground.
Johnny arrives last. His easy grin falters at the sight of you. He slips into the other side of the circular booth beside John and barely greets you, barely even meets your eyes. You don’t shrink, necessarily—you’re aware that you belong here, celebrating Simon, just as much as Johnny does—but you do grow quiet, your arms crossed in your lap, leaning into the warm comfort that Simon’s body beside you provides.
The group together are downright boisterous. Even Simon comes out of his shell some as the drinks come and go, eventually tugging the mask down to rest beneath his chin. They tell stories that make you laugh, make you tear up, make you cringe, make you groan. It eases some anxious part of your heart to hear these uncensored stories, to learn more about Simon’s past straight from the sources.
It’s clear that their time spent serving together has made a brotherhood of them, and while a small part of you feels estranged as the outsider amongst this group, the larger part thinks it’s beautiful to see.
Simon deserves this, you think, as the group gets up: some to go to the bathroom, others to the bar, others to smoke. He deserves to be surrounded by people that love him.
You realize right there in that cracked leather booth of the bar that you are included in that.
You’re in love with him.
“Oh God,” you mutter, pressing your hands to your cheeks. Suddenly your head is spinning from the few shots you had shared with the others. Air. You need air.
Not spying Simon anywhere near the bar, you take your chances of running into him outside and step out of the pub onto the cool street. There is a bitter wind blowing that has you wrapping your arms around your middle, wishing you had worn a jacket over your sweater. Resting your back against the brick wall, you stare up at the moon and think. Nothing has changed between now and five minutes ago, except that now you are a little wiser to your own feelings. A little more aware of how invested you are in this undefined relationship. You don’t need to freak out.
You just need to talk to him and figure out where you both stand with each other. It is the only—
“You followin’ me?” You jerk, startled. Johnny stands there, having come around out of the alley, crushing the remnants of a cigarette beneath his boot. His cheeks are red from the cold, hands jammed deep into his pockets.
“What? Of course not!”
“Alright,” he says, his agreement sounding a lot like skepticism. He moves past you toward the pub doors.
You know that you shouldn’t. You know that for some inexplicable reason, Johnny doesn’t like you, and that you should take this at face value and leave well enough alone. But instead it makes something inside you feel needy and desperate, desperate for this closest friend of Simon’s to like you, desperate to fit it to Simon’s old life.
“Hey,” you say, catching his wrist. “We should plan my next piercing while you’re here.”
He visibly shakes off your touch. His eyes look back toward the pub longingly. “Yeah. Look, not much to plan, really, is there? Just let Simon know when you’re ready and he’ll text me.”
He opens the door. For a moment, the sounds and smells of the pub spill out onto the sidewalk, but then the door shuts and it is quiet and you are alone.
-
“Johnny doesn’t like me much,” you say to Simon on the way home. You’re driving—three beers in total had managed to make him tipsier than you thought possible for a man of his stature.
He snorts. “Soap loves everybody, and everybody loves Soap.”
You take your eyes off the road briefly. Simon’s figure is illuminated by a passing streetlamp, turning his silhouette into something gilded where he is slumped over in the passenger seat resting his temple against the cool glass of the window. “I don’t love him,” you say, hoping you don’t overemphasize any certain word.
Simon looks to you. You can feel his eyes on the side of your face. Not even being drunk affects the intensity of his gaze, the way it penetrates you, turns you see-through. Whatever he sees in your face must not be enough, because his head thuds as it hits the window again.
“It wouldn’t be the first time that a girl who was supposed to be mine ended up being for Soap.”
You suck in a breath, heart clenching painfully. Taking one hand off the wheel, you search for his thigh—find his knee and settle for it, stroking softly with your thumb.
“I’m not Soap’s, baby,” you say.
“No?”
You shake your head.
“Whose are you?”
“Come on, Simon,” you mutter, face hot. “You already know.”
“Are you mine?”
You nod.
“Don’t say it.”
You blink, glancing over to him. He’s watching you, eyes heavy-lidded and pitch-black in the darkness of the cab. “Why not?”
“Because I’ll make have to you pull over.”
-
Instead he makes you wait until he’s inside you, still feeling the rasp of his stubble against your thighs from where he had eaten you out. Then, his hands shaking, he asks you again, Whose are you? just to hear the way you chant over and over again: Yours, Yours, Yours.
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"How 'bout this?" (Asks Bonnie, holding up another spoonful of soup for you to try. You take a sip.)
(It's creamy, a little salty, nice and hot. It burns a little on your tongue but it was okay. Because once it was past your throat you didn't feel much more.)
"Tasty!" (You respond with a smile.)
(You were set up next to Bonnie as they cooked the meal for tonights sleepover. It was, differen't. Sure there were some similar stuff, samosas, rice, but they were making some soup for you now, too.)
"You sure?" (Bonnie pouted at you.) "I mean! Of COURSE it's tasty!!! Duh!!!"
(You let out a little laugh as Bonnie confidently goes back to cooking. They had been nicer than usual. Last time you were in the same kitchen you were banned from cooking for life. Not like you could now anyways, hahaaa. . .)
(You still couldn't move.)
(It had been a few hours, Odile had tried a few more things, Mira, Odile, and Isabeau had gone around town asking for help, trying not to cause a panic, reasuring people you were okay, trying to keep things discrete. You hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Loop.)
(It was all. . . So, so differen't. They were all acting similar but, differen't. The play had shifted, changed, they all had gotten a script and you had to improvise. At least you had a lot of rehearsals.)
(Even if they should probably just get a replacement actor, haha.)
(Look at you, can't move from the neck down. Had to get help to get anything. Stars, Bonnie would be more helpful in the house than you. . .)
". . . Heyfrin." (Bonnie took a pause from cooking. They didn't look at you.) ". . . Are we gonna be okay tomorrow?"
(H-huh???) "Of course we are." (You say with a smile.)
"I'm not a stupid kid, Frin!!!" (Bonnie yells.) "You always look for the traps and the keys and stuff and know where to go!! What if we can't make it! What if we don't get to the King, and, and. . ."
"Bonnie. . ." (You want to reach out to them. They're, are they crying?)
"And what if I don't get to see Nille again!!" (They were crying.) "What if, i-if. . ."
"You'll be okay, Bonnie." (Oh no you are nooooot ready for this talk.) "I, promise. I promise okay? You'll be okay."
"But you don't know that!!!" (Bonnie turned to look at you, finally. They looked like a mess.) "You don't know if we'll make it!! You're just, just saying that!!!"
(But, you do know.)
(You know that, no matter what, they'll be okay. You'll get out of this, eventually. It, it might be harder now but. . .)
(It might be impossible, but. . .)
(But. . .)
"It's not fair!!!" (Bonnie shook their head.) "It's not fair!!! You can't even move!! And you wont get to meet Nille!!!"
(Wait.) "You, wanted me to go back to Bombouche after-?"
"Of course I did!!! Crabface!!!!" (Bonnie angrily turned back to the food.) "I know you don't crabbing care about me but I wanted you to see my sister!!! Now you won't!!! None of us will!!!"
(That. . . That, this was new- wait, wait you know this!)
"Of course I care about you!" (You yell, a bit more emotional than you meant.)
"You don't crabbing care about me!!! You don't know anything about me!!!"
"But I do know about you. . ."
"You don't!!! Not even a little bit!!! You don't even know my three favorite foods!!!"
(Bingo.) "I do. . ."
"H-Huh?!?" (They turn to you again.)
("You love. . .") "Rice."
"Y-yeah, that's true, but. . ."
("And. . .") "Pineapples."
". . ." (Bonnie stopped crying and was looking at you surprised.)
("And the last one is. . .") "Samosas!"
". . . But. . . But what samosas?" (They pouted.) "Yeah!! I bet you don't even know that!!! Which samosas are my favorite!! Stupid!!!"
("Is it samosas. . .") "Without cheese and with potatoes?"
(They were just, staring at you, shocked. Just like before.) "Y-yeah. . . Those are, are my favorite foods."
(Yes!!! Still got it!!!)
"You. . . Do pay attention to me?" (They looked away, wiping away some tears.) "No that's stupid, of course you do. Or else you wouldn't have. . ."
(. . . Wait, what happens now?)
". . ." (They looked away still, thinking for a second. Then they huffed, turning to you.) "Okay. Maybe we could make it out of tomorrow."
(Bonnie paused again.) ". . . Hey 'Frin, I know you wont be able to fight tomorrow, so, maybe you could, help me how to fight."
(What? This, still is working?!?) "U-uh! I mean, I can't exactly show you right now-"
"I know that!! Dummy!!! I mean just give me some things to know or what to do or something!!"
"Well. . ." (Hmm, okay, maybe this could work, but. . .) "Okay, it's a bit late in the day though."
"Aw Crab." (Bonnie pouted, looking at the food they were cooking.) "Stupid."
(Oh well, there's always a next time. Maybe if you bring this up earlier in the day. . .) "But I know you're going to do great, okay?"
"Okay. . ."
". . . Hey, breathe with me, okay?"
"Uh, okay?"
(You said it on autopilot honestly. But you roll with it, you and Bonnie breathe in. . . And Out. . .)
". . . All good?" (You ask Bonnie. They nod.)
"Uh huh."
(. . . . . . This is awkward.)
". . . Don't burn the food!"
"CRAB!!!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Sif. . . Hey. . . Hey Sif. Siffrin. Siffarooni."
(Isabeau was whispering your name. It was like the other nights, comforting. In a way.)
(You were lying in bed. Staring at the celing. You couldn't sleep. Your mind had been racing with what to do, thinking up ideas, ways to get through the house, ways to survive.)
(You turn your head to look at Isabeau.)
"Uhm. . . Sorry? Are you doing okay?" (He asks. Alright, a bit differen't.) "Too hot? Uncomfortable?"
(You softly laugh.) "I wouldn't know."
"O-oh, right." (He looks away, sheepish.) "Sorry."
(Not being able to feel anything had been even more inconvenient than you thought. You couldn't feel if you were too hot, too cold, hurt, anything.)
"C-can, I check?"
(You nod. Isabeau reaches out a hand puts a hand on your forhead. You try not to wince, and try to savor it. He takes his hand back.)
"You don't feel hot, but, maybe, if you need anything I'll get it okay?"
(You smile.) "I'm fine, Isa."
"O-okay. . ." (He looks away.) ". . . I. . . Wanted to. . ."
("To tell you something.")
(Isa pauses, as he always did.) ". . . Wanted to tell you, something."
"The thing I wanted to tell you. . . . Is. . . . . That. . . . ."
"I. . . ."
("Don't have anything to tell you right now.")
"I. . ." (He pauses.) ". . . I . . . I won't leave, okay?"
(HUH?!?!?!??!) "W-what-?"
"I-I mean!" (He tries to keep his voice down. Looking to the side, nervous.) "I mean, I, I won't go untill you're better, okay? E-even after, after we beat the King, okay?"
(That's. . .) "Isa. . ."
(You look at him, he's, so bashful. Embaressed. He turned to look at you, smiling.)
"Hey, everything okay?" (Huh?!? That was Bonnie's voice. Usually Isa would get a faceful of pillow right now. You turn your head to look.)
"'Frin okay?" (They were wipping the sleep from their eyes, Mira had sat up too.)
"I-if you need anything, or anything's wrong, or-" (She asks, calmly.)
"H-hey I said I could be on Siffrin duty, don't worry!" (Isa replied.) "Promise!"
"I-I just wanted to make sure-"
"Let Siffrin sleep." (Odile spoke up, finally.) "And let me sleep too, frankly, otherwise I might wake up cranky. You do not want to see me cranky."
"Sorry."
"Sorry, m'dame."
"S-sorry. . ."
(They all get tucked into bed again. You turn back to Isabeau. He's looking at you, sheepish, like before. But, then he smiles. A big, biiiig smile. You smile back.)
(Finally. . . You're starting to feel sleepy.)
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