#//i have been. fighting for my life to keep the proportions and differences correct

[gas-stxtion-a]

//BEASTS

[swan-of-sunrise]

The Halcyon Hypothesis

Summary: A chance meeting on the New York subway between a stressed-out graduate student and a brilliant but dorky scientist takes a surprising turn in both of their lives.

Pairing: Bruce Banner X Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Here’s another little one-shot I found hiding on an old flash drive! It’s officially dedicated to all you guys who’ve been struggling with finals and to all the other Bruce Banner fans out there lol thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoy!  

The Halcyon Hypothesis (Fanfiction Masterlist)

“Dammit!” (Y/N) swore under her breath as she edged her way into the extremely cramped train and tried not to lose grip on the large stack of notes in her arms. People funneled into the train behind her and in no time, she was crammed tightly into the train as the doors closed; if Professor Taylors hadn’t kept us after class, I’d be on an almost-deserted train right now with my own personal space, she thought with annoyance as the train began to move, but at least I can still cram a little studying in.

She planted her feet so the motions of the train wouldn’t cause her to lose balance and opened her notebook to her most recent notes. Sweat-covered passengers shifted around her as more and more people boarded at the next several stops, but she did her best to ignore them as she struggled to understand everything she’d hastily jotted down earlier. Burnout was hitting her hard as the fall semester drew to a close and her roommates were in the midst of a fight of epic proportions, so the only think keeping her going was the six cups of coffee she’d already had and the promise of another when she arrived back home. All of a sudden, the train slammed on its brakes harder than usual; most of the other passengers were holding onto hand straps but since (Y/N) wasn’t, the train’s jarring movement sent her stumbling into the man standing next to her. “Shit, sorry about that.”

“That’s okay. There’s an extra hand strap over here if you wanna use it.”

(Y/N) glanced up from her notes and momentarily forgot to speak when she caught sight of the man’s kindly smile and strangely-captivating eyes. “I’m fine, I’ve gotta hold my notes.”

The man nodded in understanding and she returned her focus to the scribbles on her page of notes. A few moments later, though, the man spoke again. “You mixed up a couple of your definitions.”

“Excuse me?”

He looked a little startled by her annoyed reply, but nevertheless he continued. “The, um, the definitions for adenosine triphosphate and adenylate cyclase at the top of your page should be swapped.”

Still slightly irritated that her studying was interrupted again, (Y/N) looked at the definitions he spoke of and to her surprise, the man was correct. “Well, I’ll be damned. Are you a biology expert or something?”

“You could say that. I, ah, actually have one of my PhD’s in it,” The man replied. Instead of acting smug about his apparent multiple doctorates, he seemed a little embarrassed to have mentioned them at all; he rubbed his neck awkwardly with his free hand and looked at everything in the train car but her as his ears flushed a vivid shade of pink.

His shyness is kinda cute, (Y/N) thought with a growing smile, her earlier annoyance long-gone. “That’s cool! I’m working on my master’s in biology right now and I can’t even imagine working on a doctorate; I’ve never been more stressed in my life. So stressed, apparently, that I can’t tell the difference between a nucleotide and an enzyme! It’s just that my professors won’t ease up on the workload and things are a little tense with my roommates so I don’t get much studying in at home, and-” She stopped her rambling and cringed internally; why the hell was she unloading all this onto a stranger on a train? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go on a rant there. Stress, you know…”

“That’s okay, stress can make people do a lot of weird things.” The man’s eyes were unfocused, as if he was thinking about something else, but the strange look disappeared after a moment and was replaced with a bashful grin. “…If you want, I could look over your notes to make sure everything’s correct? Not that it’s not correct, of course! I’m sure it’s great, but, you know, just to be on the safe side…?”

“Um…sure, I guess. Thanks!” (Y/N) handed him her notebook and pencil and watched as he began flipping through the pages, scanning the information and used the pencil to make corrections when necessary. The train clinked and clanked along as he remained concentrated on his work, and (Y/N) took the opportunity to examine him a little. His dark curly hair was streaked with a few strands of grey, even though he appeared to be on the younger side. I’d probably have grey hair too if I had more than one doctorate, she thought with an inward chuckle before resuming her observations. He wore wire-framed glasses that had a tendency to slide down his nose, and she could clearly see the smile lines that surrounded his vivid green eyes. Just as she was debating whether or not she should try to give him her number or just simply ask for the handsome stranger’s name, he closed her notebook and looked up at her.

“Well, there were a couple of mistakes with some formulas but other than that, everything looks great! Not bad for a person who says they don’t know the difference between a nucleotide and an enzyme.” His teasing words and flirtatious smile caused her stomach to flutter.

“Thank you,” She took her notebook back and clutched it to her chest. “Now I’ve just gotta study all this and try to pass my final on Friday.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine; your notes are very thorough and well-written, so you shouldn’t have any problem.”

“Easy for you to say, dude, you’ve probably got half-a-dozen PhD’s under your belt.” Her eyebrows rose when he gave her a sheepish look. “You’ve got more than that?”

The man shrugged as he shuffled his feet in embarrassment. “I’m not really the type to brag.” A silence fell over them for several moments until he spoke up again, his timid green eyes fixated on hers. “I, um, I just wanted to say that I think it’s wonderful you’re involved in the sciences…as a woman, I mean, because women haven’t always been encouraged into pursuing STEM careers but times are finally changing and I…well, I-I think it’s admirable.” He rubbed his neck awkwardly and he gave her a half smile that made her heart skip a beat. “You know, it’s like what Nichelle Nichols used to say: ‘Science is not a boy’s game, it’s not a girl’s game. It’s everyone’s game. It’s about where we are…’”

“��…and where we’re going.’” (Y/N) smiled bashfully at the impressed look he was giving her and fiddled with the metal spiral holding her notebook together. “Lieutenant Uhura was my favorite Star Trek character when I was a kid. That’s sweet of you to say, Doctor…?”

“Bruce. My name’s Bruce.”

She shook his outstretched hand. “(Y/N).” Their eyes met and her breath hitched as she took in the intensity of his gaze, barely aware that their hands were still touching and that she could smell his intoxicating cedar cologne. The intensity of her courses that semester meant that she hadn’t had much time for romance but judging by the way she felt herself react to Bruce in the brief amount of time she’d known him, she could easily imagine herself charging headfirst back into the world of dating alongside the handsome scientist standing so close to her.

“Now approaching Grand Central Station!”

“This is me,” Bruce looked almost disappointed at the announcement but then his green eyes suddenly lit up; he scrambled to pull his wallet out and finally pulled out a business card as the train stopped and the doors opened. “Here’s my number, let me know how your test goes! It was really nice talking to you, (Y/N)!” With a small wave, he pushed through the packed train and out of sight.

“Bye Bruce,” (Y/N) mumbled dejectedly; she’d finally met a nice guy but he was gone as quickly as he came. But at least I have his number, she thought with a growing grin, her heart feeling lighter than it had in a long while. She looked down at the business card in her hand and nearly dropped it in surprise, for printed neatly on the card was the name Dr. Bruce Banner. “Holy shit! I had an Avenger look over my biology notes?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, let me get this straight: you met a beautiful woman on the subway the other day, bonded over your shared nerdy love of science and Star Trek, and even stared into each other’s eyes for a little bit like they do in those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies…yet you didn’t bother to try and get her number? Geez, you’re rustier at all this than Capsicle!”

Pulling away from his microscope, Bruce took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I already told you, Tony, I gave her my business card before I got off the train. If she wants to contact me, then she will and we can see where we go from there.”

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed as he spun his desk chair around in a circle. “Yeah, that’s just the way every woman dreams of being wooed. Ever hear of romance, Brucie?”

“Did you seriously just call me-?”

“If you knew her last name and where she went to school, then we could have J.A.R.V.I.S. track her down and then you could go down there and surprise her…” The billionaire’s face illuminated with a bright smile. “I’m talking flowers, chocolates, expensive dinner reservations, front-row tickets to Hamilton, the whole shebang. You could easily sweep this chick off her exhausted and stressed-out feet, dude, if only you’d just bothered to take a page out of your BFF’s book.”

Bruce snorted. “And conversely, have you ever heard of stalking in the fourth degree? Those tricks might work with Pepper but you’re you and I’m me, Tony, and I’m definitely not the kind of guy that women would want to be swept off their feet by. I can’t even remember when I last went on a date, it’s been so long-”

The muffled chiming of Bruce’s cellphone echoed throughout the laboratory and interrupted his protests; he unearthed the phone from beneath a pile of loose papers and frowned when he noticed a new text message from an unknown number, but his confusion quickly shifted to elation once he read the text.

Unknown: Hi Bruce, this is (Y/N) from the train. You’ll be pleased to know that I got an A on my final!

The gif of a cutely-animated Spock dancing around in circles on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise made Bruce snort in amusement, and it was soon followed up by a second text.

Unknown: Would it be too forward to ask if I can buy you a coffee, to thank you again for double-checking my notes and brightening my day?

“It seems that I might’ve misjudged your mystery lady…” Tony admitted as he peered over Bruce’s shoulder at the cell phone in his hand, a small but genuine smile on his bearded face. “You know what the word ‘halcyon’ means? It indicates a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful, but a funny thing about that word is that can also describe happiness in the general sense.” Bruce arched a brow and the billionaire shrugged. “Pepper’s got me listening to some philosophy podcasts, they’re weird but pretty good. My point is that your chance for halcyon isn’t gone, my Jolly Green friend; it’s quite literally in the palm of your hand, but you’ve gotta be the one to hold on tight to it.”

The billionaire clapped Bruce on the shoulder and whistled a show-tune as he left him alone in the laboratory. The scientist reveled in the lighthearted feeling that threatened to consume him, unable to recall the last instance he’d felt so pleased to receive a simple text; (Y/N) knew about the Other Guy and the life Bruce led as an Avenger, and yet she still reached out on her own volition and even invited him out for coffee. It was presumptive to assume she felt the same way about him, but he’d be naïve not to acknowledge the intensity that had been evident in her (Y/E/C) eyes when they shook hands on the train.

“It’s just a cup of coffee,” Bruce muttered to himself, nervously biting his lip as he stared down at his phone, his thumbs hovering over the keyboard in hesitation. “Not necessarily my halcyon…”

The scientist typed out his enthusiastic reply and he couldn’t help but smile again, his heart hammering away in his chest as he thought about all the data he’d need to collect to prove his halcyon hypothesis correct and how nice it would be to have a scientist as lovely as (Y/N) to conduct some experiments alongside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Aww, I love a happy ending! Bonus points to anyone who can guess which show-tune Tony was humming (Hint: It’s from an old film musical that people consider to be a Christmas movie lol). Thank you all so much for reading and commenting, and I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season!

Fanfiction Masterlist

Marvel Taglist: @brooke0297

All Works: @crowleysqueenofhell @momc95 @groovy-lady​

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Who's your fave oc at the moment?? Tell me about them!

Hoo boy, here we go. Get ready for BACKSTORY!

The short answer is a pair of girls named CJ and Ren otherwise known as Cleric and Watchdog who are college students in a universe with superheroes and started freelancing for those superheroes as a way to make some extra cash. Have a picture of both their regular identities and their alter egos. Designs are still being workshopped. Also, I've been experimenting with different pens on my drawing app, so the artstyle'a a bit all over the place. I'm also bad at character proportions, but their heights are closest to correct in the alter ego picture.

The long answer? Is long. So I'll put it below a cut. :)

So, I have OCs for specific fandoms, but my current favorite OCs aren't actually attached to anything. They just live in a generic superhero verse that could honestly be anything from DC to Powerpuff girls. It wouldn't change much, but I do have some light worldbuilding around the city they live in.

Chorustown is your pretty par for the course comic book city with superheroes and supervillains and a new upstart team of anti-heroes that are basically violent robin hood (steal from the rich, give to the poor). Suffice it to say that whenever all these factions fight each other, it breaks shit, so renter's insurance ain't cheap. Also, suffice it to say that the heroes involved are constantly getting injured, as well as needing information on the ever-shifting threats.

Enter our protagonists: Serenity "Ren" Summers and Cory "CJ" Jack are a pair of college students with a lot of skills and not a lot of money, who are willing to do some questionable shit for income! Also, they're childhood besties turned girlfriends.

During their sophomore year, CJ and Ren realized that while nobody in the civilian sphere would be willing to hire undergrads and actually PAY them, superheroes must have much more limited options, what with the need to keep their identities secret and not have people ask questions. This is also a 'verse where superheroes aren't on great terms with regular law enforcement, so getting caught doing something illegal, even if it helps a lot of people, is a very real threat. It leaves superheroes without a whole lot of options when they need an expert for something in their superhero work. And CJ and Ren both happen to be notable experts.

Ren is an engineering major with a split focus in software and mechanical engineering, as well as some dabbling into social engineering. She's got tech chops and computer knowledge out the wazoo. She's also lived in Chorustown her whole life and knows the city like the back of her hand. Throw in the fact that she's an avid artist who spent (and still does spend) a lot of time sneaking around to make graffiti murals, and you have someone who is basically a surveillance GOD. She can hack anything she wants, follow people around without them ever noticing, and she's capable of designing tech like trackers and bugs (and posseses the skill to plant those). Ren is also a habitually nosy person who has always kept track of significant going ons, for superheroes and villains, major political players, celebrities, and her personal life. She is so uniquely qualified to gather information on people that it isn't even funny. And it goes both ways. She can help someone hide from surveillance just as easily as she can snoop out a hider because she knows exactly where nobody will look.

CJ is a very, very talented med student. She's been into medicine and biology her whole life, with a particular interest in the physiological differences between superheroes and regular people. This includes aliens, animal based powers, meta-humans, mutants---you name it, and she's probably hyperfixated on its biology for at least a month and retained that information. This means she's also dabbled in a lot of other weird disciplines like vet med and astrobiology (which would absolutely be a scientific discipline in a universe where aliens invade on a monthly basis). Add in her medical skills and her technologically inclined girlfriend, and she's got the skills and the tools to treat anything from a bloody nose to a broken appendage to a physiologically based power defect to a species specific disease for just about anybody.

The two of them decided that if they can't get stable income like normal people, they'll get it from superheroes, who will be forced to come to them because there are no other options! But obviously, they can't just publicly be helping out superheroes. That puts soooo many targets on their backs. They'd have villains, law enforcement, and even other superheroes after them (CJ and Ren don't really make a distinction between heroes and anti-heroes; as long as you're helping people, they're chill with you. That would make the more self-righteous folks of both categories pretty pissed to know that their confidants were helping people on the other side of the debate). So they'll need alter egos, and they'll need to be secretive about their base of operations.

And thus, Watchdog and Cleric were born! But the thing is, these two are REALLY paranoid about getting caught because they don't have supet powers to protect themselves from villains or even social power to protect themselves from the legal system. Remember, these two are broke undergrads who lowkey stole all their equipment from their university (it's technically all available for student use, but not in the quantities or for the purposes they use it for).

So they have a lot of fun measures in place. First off, you probably noticed, but their costumes cover their whole bodies and faces and are loose enough on their frames that you can't really tell anything about their body types beyond their height. Secondly, they're both utilizing voice filters that both pitch their voices low enough to sound like dudes and make them sound somewhat robotic so their tone doesn't come through. The settings on the filter can be adjusted as needed (CJ can turn off the tone modulator if she needs to sound soothing, or Ren can change the pitch if she needs to sound a specific age or gender as a distraction). So nobody knows what they look like or what they sound like, and most people assume they're men. Thirdly, Ren has designed some gadgets that disable trackers or bugs planted on their person. Nobody can follow them either.

Their biggest security measure, though, was how they revealed themselves to the super community. Instead of some big announcement, they just stalked the local Chorustown superheroes until opportunity arose. For Ren, it even functioned as advertising her skills since she's basically selling her stalking capability.

In the first fight that a hero got badly injured, CJ basically popped out of the woodwork in her Cleric getup, dragged them into a safe and hidden spot, delivered immediate and effective field first aid, and left the coordinates of an abandoned apartment complex that they've turned into her clinic, as well as a short letter offering her services.

Ren literally listened in on the resident supers conversations until they expressed frustration at not having a particular piece of information, at which point she helpfully left them an anonymous tip as well as a burner phone number, a ghost email account, and some coords if they ever needed info again. Both instances were basically a free trial, since their letters of introduction also specified that payment in some form would be required for later assistance.

Also, because Ren is a damn good stalker and because CJ will have personally treated many heroes wounds and logged their identifying physical and medical traits, it doesn't take them long before they put together, like, everybody's secret identities. Heroes and villains. With a couple of exceptions on the villainous side, since they don't directly interact with them. But there's basically no hiding from them.

Most people also don't know they exist! Other heroes that the Chorustown protectors interact with do question where they're getting treated for injuries after really big fights, and villains know that SOMEONE keeps giving heroes information that foils their plans, but they don't really come to the conclusion that it's an independent party. They always make incorrect assumptions. Like "Oh, they must have a family member or non-combat teammate that fixes them up after fights!" or "Oh, clearly we have a mole who's being bribed or threatened," or "The Chorustown heroes have more powers than they're letting on." Outside heroes only really learn of these two when the Chorustown regulars talk about them, and only really believe it when Ren and CJ see fit to contact them for whatever reason. It's honestly hilarious.

Everybody who has been contacted by CJ and Ren knows where Watchdog's dropspots are and where Cleric's clinic is, but have no idea what they do otherwise. The clinic and the dropspots are nowhere near the university or where their apartment, so people have no reason to assume it's them. They have ghost emails and burner phones, but they're regularly replaced, and Ren is good at cybersecurity, so there's no tracking it that way.

Most people guess that they're associated in some way, since two freelance vigilantes appearing at similar times operating out of the same city with similar technology would be a bit weird otherwise, but it's also assumed to be strictly professional. Nobody would ever guess that they know each other in their civilian lives, much less that they're girlfriends.

People also realize Watchdog and Cleric know their secret identities (and probably other secret stuff, too) since they've been contacted as civilians, but they also aren't overly threatened by it. The two of them are clearly working for money, but they aren't selling any of the heroes' secrets and are honestly very trustworthy and confidential about it. There was paranoia for the first little bit, but it quickly just became a fact of life.

That's pretty much the whole backstory unless you want to know

Other interesting things about them that don't have a whole lot to do with their whole second job shtick!

Ren:

Ren loves art in all forms, but especially painting. She'll paint on anything she can get her hands on. Her notes, random walls and floors, parts of the school, and any of her possessions. The skirt pictured in her drawing is her own handiwork, and most of her other articles of clothing look similar. Most of their dishes have been custom painted with food safe paint. And as previously mentioned, she's a vandal who puts gorgeous murals and fun zany tags in places that they really shouldn't be.

She's rather anti-social. Ren is aggressively introverted and doesn't have a whole lot of patience for stupid people. She's got a pretty quick temper on her and can be very moody. She recognizes that all traits make her just as unpleasant for other people to be around her as it is for her to be around other people. So she mostly just avoids others. She has like 5 people in her social circle, and she's happy to mooch off CJ if she needs anybody else.

Ren has a lovely voice but has no technical knowledge of music. She just likes to sing.

Ren's a major bookworm, but she mostly reads on her phone. People think she's addicted to social media, but she's usually just reading a book. And she'll read literally anything. With enthusiasm. Sure she can argue classics with the best of them, but she reads so much that she also: can get deep into the mechanics of a 1980s space opera you've never heard of; happily engages in ship wars over the generic YA dystopia that's a disguise for a generic YA love triangle; keeps a running list of every perfectly mapped out hero's journey fantasy story she's read; has consumed an entire encyclopedia and REMEMBERS it; spent one memorable week reading nothing but foreign cookbooks; accidentally befriended her computer science professor over a shared love for tragic westerns; and has a categorized list of historical romances with metrics including historical accuracy, how smutty it is, plot outside the romance, time period, location, and social class of the characters, how healthy the romance is, and how compelling.

Her favorite snacks are plain baby carrots and straight honey. She enjoys traumatizing people at parties by drizzling honey straight into her mouth like whipped cream, and she eats so many carrots that multiple have questioned how she hasn't turned orange.

CJ:

CJ is into fashion, but not like trends or anything. She likes to look good while still having her stuff ethically sourced and affordable. She does a lot of thrift shopping and still manages to dress really good (or at least I think so). Her default and favorite style is punk-inspired bad bitch that, for lack of a better term, is a bit on the slutty side, but she does like to experiment. One of these days I'll probably draw lots of different civilian outfits for both of them.

CJ is the opposite of Ren in that she is a total social butterfly. Not only is she suuuuuper extroverted, she also isn't even a little shy, will strike up a conversation with anybody, and knows basically everyone. This also means she has friends from all walks of life, which gets really useful when Watchdog needs informants. The little old Mexican lady next door, the corner store butcher, the chronic smoker at the homeless shelter, the thrift shop owner they both pretend isn't selling drugs, the local town council member, the perpetually sleep deprived culinary arts student who likes to "experiment" in the school kitchens at 3 a.m., the league of legends nerds who always seem to be online, the manic party girls who keep inviting her to a night on the town---all of them get more information than people would expect, and CJ knows and is on good terms with all of them. And not for an ulterior motive, she just genuinely likes people.

CJ has extreme ADHD. She's lucky Ren has a scary good memory and would never let her forget her Adderall, otherwise she's be in trouble. As it stands, she still is rather hyperactive and has a. . .not short, but definitely jumpy attention span.

She's a plant mom. Their apartment has a ton of plants. She really likes ferns and shrubs, but they also have flowers, succulents, grasses, and literally everything else.

CJ plays the violin, but only in fiddle, bluegrass, and trad contexts, so she can barely read sheet music and learns almost everything by ear.

She hates wearing the color purple but has deliberately bought purple clothing solely for Ren to steal.

Both

Are self-proclaimed socialists who participate in a lot of fundraising, activism, and volunteer work.

Have another childhood best friend named Eli, who is a self-proclaimed anarchist and a business major at their rival university. They still get together all the time. He also knows everything about their double life. There's no secrets in this circle. They're all super close, but they have their favorite ways of hanging out. He and Ren bond by going on vandalism field trips where he puts up politically motivated rants, and she makes it look pretty. He and CJ bond by regularly forsaking civilization and going hiking or camping or just chilling in the woods. They all bond by drinking cheap wine mixed with Dr. Pepper while playing video games and doing their homework and drunkenly going on tirades about rich assholes.

He's also shipped them since middle school when he realized they liked each other, but he didn't want to meddle. He got increasingly frustrated by the mutual pining throughout their high school years and finally engineered a situation at their graduation party where they were locked in a closet together for an hour and warned them that if they didn't confess he was going to drug them and write it in permanent marker on their foreheads. They literally came out of the closet after sharing their first kiss and are willing to kill God for him in thanks.

They're both really messy, but in an organized chaos kind of way. Everything in their home does have a place, it's just not always the place that you'd expect. The place for dirty socks, for example, is "on the living room floor in a haphazard pile," and the place for tissue boxes is "three in every room in easily accessible places at all times."

Both of them can cook but prefer to just eat whatever unprepared food is lying around, and will try any combination if it means they don't have to cook. An average dinner in the Jack-Summers household is a bowl of uncooked pasta dipped in peanut butter like it's nacho cheese with a side of bananas.

They really really like cats. They are both allergic to cats.

They're not practicing any religion, but kind of both passively believe that there's probably a capital-G God and also that other lowercase-g gods exist.

[n1kolaiz]

"You want to know what death is? I'll tell you. Death is the loss of life. Despite everything doctors like me attempt... a patient's life can still fall through our fingers. You think death lies in the apex of science? Anyone with such little regard for life will die by my hand."

Character Analysis: Yosano Akiko

Age: 25 || Ability: Thou Shalt Not Die

BSD CHAPTER CHAPTER 65-66 SPOILERS

table of contents:

1. Author counterpart.

2. Yosano's history.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

YOSANO BRAINROT!*(#&!*@#($

1. Author counterpart.

Having been given the “Sho Ho” at birth, Yosano Akiko’s counterpart—the real-life author—was known for her zealous take on both feminism and pacifism.

Side note: Once again, to avoid confusion, I will use the name Sho Ho in reference to the real-life author, and Yosano in reference to the BSD character.

Sho Ho's writings were pretty much out-of-the-ordinary in her time, and despite being suppressed by the social norms of gender hierarchy, she sought to reform society’s view on the cultural perspectives of women and their sexuality (She expressed her love for a woman in one of her poems, but many still argued on whether she identified herself as queer or not.)

"Thou Shalt Not Die," Yosano's ability, is actually named after one of Sho Ho's most famous, controversial poems. She wrote it for her brother, who was a soldier in the war between Russia and Japan (1904-1905). In her poem, she expressed her general distaste for war and how her brother was a part of it.

O my young brother, I cry for you Don't you understand you must not die! You who were born the last of all Command a special store of parents' love

Would parents place a blade in children's hands

Teaching them to murder other men Teaching them to kill and then to die? Have you so learned and grown to twenty-four?

- excerpt from Sho Ho's poem, "Kimi Shinitamou Koto Nakare"

Her words were blunt enough to inflict guilt on her brother's conscience, as she wasn't afraid to express her disapproval over how her brother took part in the typical violent bloodshed and manslaughter of war. Such opinions perturbed the authorities, and her work was eventually banned from the public for a period of time. Later on, it was used as an anti-war statement.

2. Yosano's history.

Now, as for the character in BSD, Yosano is seen to be generally strong-willed, and later on, we see that she is terrifyingly compassionately ambitious in the way she treats her patients. She treasured life itself, and hated the thought of losing a patient.

Yosano had developed her relations with Mori Ougai back in the Great War, when she was just 11 years old. Her ability was a great benefactor in saving lives. Realistically speaking, she was used for her ability to heal injured soldiers and diminish the effect of any casualty acquired.

Initially, she wasn't aware of this, until one of her close friends pointed it out by subtly accusing Mori of manipulating her to participate in the War under the close-to false pretence of 'saving lives.'

As much as her ability did save lives, it also forced soldiers to return to the frontlines and suffer injuries over and over again. The soldiers were never given the opportunity to return to their families because of her ability. This obliged them to carry on in the war without any excuse, inserting them into a vicious cycle they had no escape out of.

Metaphorically speaking, Yosano's hatred for Mori sort of mirrors Sho Ho's disdain for war and fighting, don't you think? The way Kafka materialised Yosano's past was quite interesting because he used chapters 65 and 66 to explain Yosano's dislike for Mori, reflecting how Sho Ho used her poem to explain why she condemned the idea of war and how her brother was part of it.

Before the effect of her ability was fully understood, however, every soldier praised and thanked her for what an angel she was. One of the soldiers she had befriended and gotten close to even kept a tally of the number of times she had saved him. He was the one who gifted her the butterfly hairpin she wore all the time.

The weight of the truth that her ability was a curse rather than a blessing fully dawned on her when her soldier friend ultimately committed suicide, because the fact of being indefinitely trapped in the throes of war agonised him until his spirit gave out. This drove Yosano to loathe her ability, or rather, how it was used.

In the time she participated in the War, Yosano was given the alias 'angel of death' due to the control she retained over the battlefield, but I thought that perhaps Kafka had a reason behind giving her this title, so I did my research.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

Side note: I wouldn't want to disrespect any culture or religion, so if my citations are inaccurate and/or disrespectful, do feel free to correct me/let me know! I did research out of pure curiosity, and I don't intend to twist the significance of any of the interpretations.

I had to grow up learning about the basics of religious stuff, so it's kind of nice to study something out of the box, and very much against my father's rigid belief system :D

ARCHANGEL ARIEL

(archangel: an angel of higher rank)

I came across the few characteristics of angels/goddesses and their roles, and the one which really caught my attention was the female archangel, Ariel, the angel of nature.

[ source ]

In Hebrew, the name Ariel means 'altar' or 'lioness of God,' and her role is to heal. In addition to that, she is also recognised as a helper to another one of the seven main archangels, Raphael, whose role is to provide physical and emotional healing, too.

She is the protecter of the environment and the animals therein, and is bestowed with the duty to oversee the order of heavenly bodies as well as earth's natural resources. She assures the sustenance of food, water, shelter, and supplies of human beings, much like how a nurse is to a patient I suppose.

In relation to Yosano, I think this part is pretty self-explanatory, or perhaps this is blown out of proportion HA, so take this as a suggestion rather than a fact, because I'd like to believe that Kafka had a reason for giving Yosano a title as such.

In the past, I've come across the angel of death only to perceive it as a female grim reaper of some sort, so it was pretty cool to find that the word 'angel' and 'death' made up a title of a someone like Ariel, one of the purest forms of humility and compassion.

GREEK GODDESS PANAKEIA

For my beloved (wannabe/or not) students of Greek mythology (much like myself, let's make a cult!), you've probably heard of Panakeia, the goddess of healing. Medicine finds most of its vital significance in Greek history, and in its mythology, Panakeia is actually known for her ability to heal any kind of sickness.

[ source ]

Her name means 'panacea,' which is actually defined as a remedy for all diseases. Terminal diseases and injuries lead to death, right? This would bring us back to Yosano's ability to nullify any injury's effects on a person, keeping them from death itself.

Now, we know that in order for Yosano's ability to work, her patient, or victim, has to be in a near-death condition in order for her treatment to take effect. This can't exactly fit into the description of resurrection, but it can be described as some sort of rebirth.

GREEK GODDESS PERSEPHONE

So another goddess which reminds me of Sho Ho/Yosano, is Persephone, the goddess of spring and rebirth. Before Hades, the god of the underworld, fell in love with Persephone to take her to live with him, Persephone lived a happy life.

Hades, with his nature of darkness and the like, was captivated by how pure Persephone was, and stole her away from her former life to live in an environment which differed sharply from her natural aura of purity.

[ source ]

Remember when Yosano's friend left a note behind before he killed himself? The note said nothing except for, "You are too righteous." Take that as you will, but figuratively speaking, you could say Mori takes the role of Hades in the story, while Yosano can be portrayed as Persephone.

Sho Ho can also be a parallel of Persephone, in that she had to adapt to the realities of war and disharmony, while Persephone had to adapt to the raw darkness of the underworld with Hades.

Sho Ho stood against society's norms and decided to reform it, making her one of the most well-known feministic pacifist in history, while Persephone managed to escape from the underworld to return to her former position, earning the title the 'Bringer of Life,' or the 'Destroyer of Death.'

Furthermore, the way Sho Ho's anti-war poem took its effect later on, reflects the way Persephone restored balance in the world after returning from the underworld.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

chapter 66; Yosano: "It's my fault that those close to me died... Is there some place where it's okay for me to live?"

chapter 8; Atsushi: "If I have any chance of saving them all, of returning them home safely, would that mean it's okay for me to keep on living?"

I couldn't help but think of Dazai and Atsushi back when I was reading through these panels. Ranpo (my beloved), along with Fukuzawa, accepted Yosano as she was, despite how her ability was a cause of despair and misfortune.

Ranpo looked past her mistakes and the entirety of how dark her past was to welcome her into the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai, on the other hand, knew who Atsushi was and what his ability had made him do before anyone else, and still decided to provide a safe place for Atsushi to find his sense of belonging, journeying with him as he learned to use his ability properly.

For more info about Dazai and Atsushi's dynamic, you can check out the analysis I did for Dazai :D

Atsushi desired to save people to prove his right to live, while Yosano made her wish to achieve the recovery of all her patients the reason for her existence.

Others would prefer to accuse both Yosano and Atsushi of having a saviour complex, but the reason why they pursued to save people with utmost dedication, stems from the nature of what their past was like. You know the saying 'from broken to beautiful?' Yeah, it's something like that.

The way their pasts were written out gave them a desire to change, which was, I daresay, initiated by the people who took them in: Ranpo and Dazai. Their abilities were demonised because of how they were used, but once they broke from their abilities' effect over their lives, they honed their skills to control them for the right cause instead.

In a less cynical point of view, I believe both Yosano and Atsushi stood for what was right, and wanted nothing but to achieve peace and harmony in whatever way they could, even if it meant risking their own lives to save others.

So yeah, that's it for my rants today. Thank you for reading, and if you have anything to add, go ahead! I'm open to discussions ;)

[missmentelle]

How do I know if I'm being gaslit? What does that mean?

If you are experiencing “gaslighting”, it means that someone is intentionally trying to make you feel like you are irrational and insane. They will try to convince you that you can’t trust your own judgement, even about things that you experienced firsthand. The internet tends to use the term ‘gaslighting’ to describe any kind of lying or arguing, but it’s a lot more complicated than that - when you are being gaslit, it means someone is going out of their way to make you feel like you’re the crazy one who causes all the conflict in the relationship when in reality, it’s the other way around. A person who lies about liking your new haircut or starts an argument with you about whose turn it is to do the dishes is probably not gaslighting you - gaslighting is intentional, repeated, and specifically aimed at undermining your sanity and emotional stability. It is a pattern of abuse, and by definition, it can be very difficult to recognize and escape from. 

Examples of gaslighting include things like:

Insisting that things did not happen the way you remember them, even if you have proof. Maybe you and the abuser had an argument over WhatsApp yesterday, and they called you a slur. You definitely remember that this happened, because it was devastating for you, and you took screenshots in case they deleted the message. But when you confront the other person about what they said, they flat-out deny that it ever happened - in fact, they have no idea where this is coming from, and they feel insulted that you would accuse them of such a horrible thing. They didn’t do that. They’ve never done that. In fact, there was no argument. You made the whole thing up in your head. It doesn’t matter that you have screenshots - they don’t want to see them, because they know that you are totally misunderstanding what’s in them, just like you always do. When you’re being gaslit, the gaslighter doesn’t care about reality. They will flat-out deny what happened and create a new version of events that puts them in a better light, and they’ll insist that you are the one with the faulty memory for not remembering it that way. Even with evidence right in front of their faces, they’ll stick to their guns and say that you are completely inventing things. 

Constantly insisting that you overreact and blow things out of proportion. Maybe you saw a notification on your partner’s phone the other day, and you realize that they’ve been texting other people on a dating app. You are obviously very upset about the situation, and you aren’t sure if you even want to stay in the relationship. But instead of apologizing, your partner begins to get angry with you for how upset you are - they insist that you are blowing this completely out of proportion, that you’re being a huge drama queen, that you’re being manipulative and attention-seeking, and that it’s completely insane for you to be upset. Any time you are upset with the other person for genuinely hurting or harming you in some way, they flip everything around - all of a sudden, the conversation becomes focused on how unstable and dramatic you are, and the abuser’s wrongdoing is totally forgotten. The abuser paints a consistent picture of you as someone who freaks out over absolutely nothing and completely overreacts. 

Playing up your existing mental illness or insisting that you are mentally ill. Your abuser sees signs of mental illness in everything you do. If you have a history of mental illness, they’ll insist that it’s coming back - if you don’t have a history of mental illness, they’ll invent a new mental illness for you out of whole cloth. Did you get upset because your partner screamed at you? That’s not normal, you’re having huge mood swings and you’re definitely bipolar. Did you stick up for yourself when your partner was trying to control you? That’s definitely not normal, you’re acting just like this person they knew who had severe BPD. Whenever you are upset about the way you’re being treated or just refusing to be controlled, your abuser will play the mental illness card - suddenly, they are the hard-worn, loving caretaker and you are the very sick person who refuses to let them help you. Sometimes, when you are getting especially angry about your partner’s mistreatment, they may flip a switch and go from yelling at you to acting like your caretaker in an instant - they’ll start pleading with you to get help, offering to drive you to the hospital, and begging you to understand that you aren’t well and that they’re just so worried about you. The point, of course, is to completely undermine you as a person; they want you to believe that you are seriously mentally ill and incapable of understanding what’s real and what isn’t. 

Positioning themselves as the innocent “victim” in the relationship, even when they are the one mistreating you. To an outside observer, you are the one constantly being terrorized by someone who criticizes and controls you. But your gaslighter doesn’t want you to see it that way - according to them, they are the innocent victim who has to tiptoe around your constant unpredictable mood swings. They’ll claim that they try so hard to help you and avoid setting you off, but you’re just so unreasonable - they may even claim that you are the one abusing them. Any time you fight back, stand up for yourself or have a negative reaction to their abuse, they will find a way to frame things so that your response is the real issue, and not the abuse that provoked it. If they pinned you against a wall and you pushed them off you to get away, they will flip the narrative on you - they’ll swear up and down that they were just gently trying to keep you from hurting yourself when you violently attacked them. Somehow, every confrontation you have about your partner’s bad behaviour turns into you apologizing and feeling bad, even when you went into the conversation being pretty sure that you did nothing wrong. 

Intentionally turning friends and loved ones against you. A gaslighter will sometimes try to recruit your friends and family to “their” side, turning them against you. They will tell your loved ones all about your supposed mood swings, “mental health issues” and how difficult you are being, in an effort to win sympathy and destroy your credibility. The idea is that when you turn to your friends to say “my partner freaked out on me over something small last night”, they’ll respond with “mmmm, your partner already told us this story and they gave a very different version of what happened. It sounds like you’re leaving a lot out to make yourself sound better. Your partner says you’ve been acting weird lately, what’s going on with you?” It’s much easier to warp someone’s perception of reality if you can convince their friends and family to reinforce the fake reality that you’ve created. 

Dramatically misrepresenting your motives. A gaslighter will find ways to “prove” that you’re the kind of person they say you are, regardless of what you do. Even if you do something nice for them, they can find ways to twist things to suit their narrative. Did you buy them an expensive birthday present because you care about them? You’re clearly being manipulative and trying to bribe them somehow. Did you clean the whole house for them because you wanted them to be able to enjoy coming home to a clean living space? Nonsense, this was clearly you being passive-aggressive and trying to shame them for not being as clean as you. Your actions end up not mattering - no matter how hard you to try to prove that you aren’t the difficult, terrible person that your gaslighter says you are, they will always find ways to misrepresent your motives and lie about your intentions so they can turn your innocent behaviour into whatever they want it to be. 

Being gaslighted is an immensely stressful experience - it’s designed to make you feel crazy, and if you’re subjected to it for a long time, that’s exactly what will happen. It’s unbelievably stressful to be in a position where you feel like you cannot trust your own mind or make rational decisions. And when that stress inevitably starts to affect your mental health, that becomes further evidence that your abuser is correct and that you’re the crazy one. It can be extraordinarily difficult for a victim of long-term gaslighting to escape from their situation, because they genuinely start to believe that they are the problem in the relationship and that they’re lucky anyone will put up with them.��

If you suspect you are being gaslit, there are some things you can do to recognize the issue and break free from it:

Keep meticulous records. Write down the details of conversations and arguments as soon as they happen. Record fights with the audio recorder on your phone. Take and save screenshots of important conversations. Save voicemails. Keep a diary with dates and times of events. Nobody has perfect recall, but if your partner’s version of events consistently doesn’t match your hard evidence in a major way, that’s a pretty good sign that they are twisting the truth to suit their needs.

Talk to a neutral third party. Talk to someone outside the relationship that your partner doesn’t have access to - this could be a friend, a coworker, a neighbour, anyone that you feel you can trust. Turn to an internet group or forum if you have to. Show them the evidence you’ve collected or talk to them about what’s happening, and get a neutral perspective. People who have not been exposed to your gaslighter’s charms will be able to tell you pretty quickly that your situation is not normal. 

Think about your past relationships. Have any of your past relationships followed the same patterns as your current one? Has anyone in your past made similar complaints about you? If your last relationship didn’t have these kinds of issues, there’s a good chance that the new person in your life is the problem - not you.

Trust your gut. If you get the sense that something isn’t quite right, don’t ignore those feelings. Remember, you don’t actually have to be certain that you’re being gaslighted to justify leaving the relationship - if your relationship frequently causes you stress and anxiety or makes you feel like you can’t be yourself, something is seriously wrong and it may be time to go.

It’s also a good idea to talk to a mental health professional or a domestic abuse expert if you suspect you are being gaslighted - they are experts at helping your recognize it and come up with strategies to have healthier relationships in the future.

Hope this answers your question!

MM

[drwcn]

wangxian au: lan wangji is a music major taking an elective in introduction to anatomical sketching, and wei wuxian is the nude model who, as one student said in the class chat, is “the most perfect human specimen ever created”. Poor Lan Wangji is plagued with lots of inappropriate thoughts. His life gets even harder when he discovers Wei Wuxian has moved into the dorm room across the balcony from him and has a tendency to not close his curtains. 

Gusu is the name of the prestigious semi public-semi private university, mostly known for its Humanities, Arts and Music faculties. The Lan family founded the university and is still part of governing body. The Twin Jades are very understated, but have garnered a substantial fandom in campus, and maybe even extending to other campuses like the business school across town.

Lan Wangji is a sophomore. He lives in dorm even though he and his brother have their own place downtown because LXC thought it’d be a good opportunity for his lil brother to make some friends.

WWX is a talented artist who can't afford art school. He works three jobs to keep himself afloat: barista, art model for the university, and contact wall painter for a reno company. 

WWX doesn't really live in dorm. Technically he's not even a student there. The room he's staying in is Nie Huaisang's (a freshman) who doesn't need that room per say because he's got NMJ's empty apartment while NMJ's frequently off on business trips.

wwx’s old apartment’s landlord sold the apartment to move out of the country, and the new landlord is greedy and jacked up the price, so if NHS hadn’t offered WWX his dorm room, he’d be living in his ratty old second-hand Toyota. 

WWX’s parents died when he was very young, leaving him in the care of the Jiangs but the Jiangs also died in a plane crash not long after. While the Board of Directors of the Jiang's enterprise kept custody of the two heir/heiresses (Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli) they had no reason to keep hold of WWX so poor baby got put through the foster system.

wwx ran away when he was a teen, dropped out of high school and got in with the wrong crowd and went to juvie for a year. He has a tattoo of a bunny on his rib cage which makes LWJ weak. 

what wwx doesn’t know is that jyl and jc has been trying to find him since jyl came of age and wrangled the rights/control of her company from the greedy, greedy paws of the BoD. But his records were all sealed, so they have no clue where he is.

Technically, dormitories do not allow NHS to lend his room out to non-students, so for weeks, WWX paraded around his residence as NHS to make sure NHS doesn’t get into trouble. When Lan Wangji starts coming to hang with WWX, words travel fast. 

NMJ texting LXC: “Our little brothers???? Are banging??????” 

LXC texting Meng Yao: “I heard Wangji has started dating Huaisang, should I interfere? Have not seen it for myself, but I am concerned.” 

Mo Xuanyu (a high school senior and NHS’s best friend): “My dude, why has my brother just texted me about you possibly hooking up with Jade 2, what the fuck??” 

Wen Ning who goes to the same school as Mo Xuanyu and also a part-time barista with WWX says, “Did you know that Lan Zhan guy you keep talking about is dating my friend Mo Xuanyu’s best friend, Nie Huaisang???”   

LWJ knows WWX isn’t NHS bc he knows NHS from before, but he doesn’t bother correcting anyone until at family dinner, his Uncle Lan Qiren says: 

"Wangji, I want you to know that although I didn't initially approve, if you and Huaisang are happy together, than I support you."

LWJ, ".............................................."

Lan Wangji does not know Wei Wuxian is essentially homeless because WWX keeps saying he’s only living at NHS’s dorm because his own apartment flooded

Until NMJ comes back into town unexpectedly forcing NHS back into his dorm and WWX who hates imposing himself on other people goes to live in his car. 

Lan Wangji finds out, and brings Wei Wuxian back to his own dorm. 

In a day, words spread across campus like wild fire.

WWX reunites with the Jiangs when his boss is contracted to paint Jiang Cheng’s new apartment 

Jiang Yanli is devastated that her little brother is essentially homeless. “What do you mean A-Xian doesn’t have a home? What do you mean he can’t afford an education? What do you mean he works three jobs? Are you eating? Why are you so thin???? I -” 

Jiang Cheng cries for three hours straight but will throw hands if anyone dares to bring it up. 

LQR does not approve of WWX. “He has a criminal record!” Then for LQR's 50th birthday, LWJ brings a huge scroll painting of Cloud Recesses (the ancient private scholar academy that Gusu University was founded upon).

LQR: "....this is.....very impressive. Wangji I had no idea your dapple into visual arts was so fruitful. Are you switching majors?" LWJ: "No Uncle. I did not draw this. Wei Ying did."

Wei Wuxian *innocently* “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, you’re so well formed, so symmetrical, so proportional, will you ever consider letting me draw you?”  

Lan Wangji *straight faced* “On one condition.” 

WWX, “name it.” 

LWJ, “Draw me like one of those French boys.” (LXC showed him the movie bc he knew his brother had a romantic side.) 

WWX  *chokes* 

WWX makes the sketch, but instead of a necklace it’s the Lan family wrist tie (a modern version of the head ribbon) that LWJ suggests they use, and it’s looped suggestively around his neck and one of his wrists.

From that point on, WWX starts making other (less salacious) drawings of LWJ, using different medium and different techniques in different settings (acrylic, oil, digital, watercolor and pencil sketches). He binds it into a portfolio, including the original “french” drawing, and names it Every Shade of Blue (Chinese ‘Lan’ = blue). He gifts it to LWJ. 

LWJ is blown away and suggests WWX use this to apply to Gusu and try for the scholarship. After some convincing, WWX agrees. 

But he forgets to remove the nude sketch of LWJ. 

Lan Xichen and other Lan Elders are on the admissions committee.

The ambulance had to be called. 

LWJ and JYL fight for the right to help pay for WWX’s tuition. Neither gets the opportunity, because WWX wins the scholarship.  

[powerbottomeminem]

if ur still doin the kiss prompts, can u do the 51. public kiss but its em kissing kim and kells sees?

51. Public kiss (Eminem x Kim, MGK witness)

"What the fuck is this!", Colson's voice was too loud.

Marshall hadn’t closed the hotel room door yet, only a confused "Huh?" left him.

"Don’t play dumb with me", Colson snarled, "I shouldn’t even be here, you ... What the hell is it with you two?"

"Who?", Marshall asked still confused and walked closer.

Colson threw a magazine at him. "You and her. I don’t get it. Was this all just a trick to get her back? Or some weird revenge for the beef?"

"What the-?" The cover of the magazine had Marshall’s face on it and the headline read: Eminem and Kim, is it real love this time? "Oh come the fuck on!", Marshall huffed indignant and threw it on the couch table. "You know not to believe that shit. They always lie."

"Oh really?" Colson picked the magazine up again and opened it, shoving the page with a bunch of paparazzi photos into Marshall’s face. "Pictures don’t lie!"

Pictures of Marshall kissing Kim. New pictures of them.

"You swore it was over. In how many songs did you swear it was over?" Tears gleamed in Colson's eyes, but the anger kept them inside. "Am I just a joke to you? Fucking asshole!"

"Colson, hon, I-", Marshall started but his words wouldn’t be believed. It’s not what it looks like, yeah that’s what they all say. "Let’s talk about this", he said instead.

"No! Don’t butter me up or some stupid shit. Just break up with me, alright. Let’s get it over with. I can’t win against here anyway …", voice fading on the last words. Anger fading for sadness, the real feeling of the moment. "I should’ve never done this in the first place."

"But-" Marshall looked at his boyfriend - apparently soon to be ex-boyfriend - unbelieving and shocked. It was this easy to end? Didn’t they mean more to each other? A few stupid photos and it was over already? Then what was this even? Merely a fling, meaningless and without substance.

But Marshall’s heart hurt. "How can you even think that!", he yelled back, "Don’t you know how much bullshit that woman put me through? And I her? How can you even for a second believe I’d take her back? I learned my fucking lesson, you fucking idiot!" Fists balled and shaking, not with anger but pain. He’d thought this was good now, a relationship worth having. Not perfect by any means, but one where they understood each other. That’s all Marshall was really yearning for. Somebody who understood, somebody who knew, somebody to seek comfort with when life was getting too much.

And he’d thought to be that person for Colson, too. But perhaps Colson didn’t want that. What did Marshall know what the other wanted from this?

"I bet you said that the first time, too", Colson threw back at him. The anger sounded exhausted, easier to keep it up than to face reality.

Marshall knew that feeling but he never found how to break it. "Shut the fuck up! You know nothing!"

"I know enough!", their voices were both too high, too loud, "You still love her, don’t you. So you kiss her and take her back when she comes crawling! And I’m just a side piece!"

Marshall kicked against the couch table and it fell over from the force. "Shut! The fuck! Up!" That wasn’t what had happened, not this time. "It was just a stupid fucking kiss! Shit!" Why was this going so bad?

~.~

Kim smiled earnestly, almost shy. "This was surprisingly nice. Kinda weird but nice", a short look around the restaurant, empty but for them. She wasn’t used to this.

Neither was Marshall. This always felt eerie and weird to him, but this was his life and he had learned to live with it eventually. "Yeah, it was." Not being with each other for years had calmed down the waves, both of them hot heads, both of them finding this life stressful but perhaps for different reasons. Marshall wanted to say sorry. If it wasn’t for him, her life might’ve not been such a shitshow. Perhaps it would’ve still turned out this way, just less public. Who knew? He didn’t say it though.

They stood up from the table and their dinner, it felt like the last dinner they would ever have together. All three of their daughters grown up now, the last band holding them together grew thinner and thinner each year. There was no reason to meet anymore, less reason to have a real conversation.

Once Marshall had thought he’d never be without her, now he couldn’t imagine a life with her. The love that once was left nostalgia and obligation and memories, but looking at her now how she corrected the collar of her coat ... She was a woman he didn’t know and that was okay.

He held the door open for her and as she stepped through, he held her back for a moment. "Have a good life", he said quietly, honestly and kissed her goodbye.

Mild surprise on her face. "Good night, Marshall." She left for her car, only once looking back and waving at him briefly. Did she feel the same thing? He could never tell.

But tonight he didn’t mind. It didn’t matter and it would never again. She was just a woman securing her alimony now with the children out of the picture. And to his own surprise he didn’t mind that either.

~.~

"It was just a stupid kiss", Marshall repeated, not willing to let the hurt show. Colson didn’t deserve to see it if he believed this bullshit. "It didn’t even mean anything! Why’re you making such a mess?"

"I’m making the mess?", Colson asked indignant, "You fucking kissed her! Her of all people!"

Marshall threw his hands in the air frustrated. "Yes, you! She’s just a woman, don’t blow it out of proportion."

"No, she’s not", Colson huffed. "And you know that."

"Yes! I know that, so fucking believe me when I tell you she’s just a woman." He stared at Colson through slitted eyes, to hide the plea he felt filling them up with wetness. "And as a reminder, I don’t really like women all that much, aight."

Colson crossed his arms in front of his chest, his height always had him looking down on Marshall. "That’s hard to believe. Then why were you kissing her? Her of all people."

"Because ...", she wasn’t a part of his life anymore and he was sentimental enough to think of that as sad, right in every way but sad still. Marshall shrugged, "I can kiss whoever I fucking want."

"No, you can’t, asshole. Are you this stupid? You definitely can’t kiss her!" Desperation was gleaming through the anger, through the tears hard fighting not to be cried.

Marshall didn’t want to kiss her, not the way Colson thought. He really didn’t want to kiss anyone but Colson that way. Not necessarily meaning he wouldn’t end up doing something stupid at some point, but right here right now he wanted to kiss Colson, his boyfriend, the person he loved. But it seemed impossible.

Why was this so hard? Just one step, a few words, an apology and this whole thing could be over. But Marshall wasn’t in the wrong here. He hadn’t done anything and nothing that warranted yelling and shouting. Colson needed to make the first step.

But the only step Colson took was towards the hotel room door. "Fine! If you wanna kiss her so badly, do it. Be with her. Try it again with her. But don’t come running to me when you end up being burned again. That’s entirely on you!"

He held him back for a moment. "Don’t leave me, Colson", he said quietly, honestly and kissed him to stay.

Marshall was losing the fight like he always did when it came to love. Once he swore not to allow this shit again, to rather stay alone than let this happen again. But he hated being alone. He wanted to be with somebody who understood, somebody who knew, somebody to seek comfort with when life was getting too much.

But right now he wanted to be with Colson regardless. Perhaps some day the man could be one of those things, there was always hope underneath the pain.

[natakari-tash]

More lies, more projecting..

Anons by their side, wow, doesn't sound familiar at all.

December 2019 has been a long time ago, I've been in the twitter GC when the "confrontation" happened. Been confused by the way it all exploded, I remember that clearly. This group chat has always been and meant to be a safe space, to vent, to discuss fandom things, talk about the show too. When misunderstandings happened they were either cleared up in chat or in messages or just given time to cool off. People clash sooner or later, you can't agree with everyone on everything, nothing wrong about that. No one is, will be nor was blamed for leaving the chat, even less for taking a break from the fandom. Also need to add that all fans are equal regardless the followers or whatever reason someone finds to assign as "qualifying" to be better than others. So, a group chat of fans that are friends, new people added here and there, new friendships made, fallouts happen here and there, friends talk again, life continues.

Except... This was never a problem to these two. Tink and Saz. They saw and seem to still see it the same way (if not worse) as back then. That Min is the problem. Guilty of always speaking condescendingly to other fans according to both, considering Tink an "idiot" which was pulled out of thin air (again, I happened to open the chat on those messages, closed it as I thought it has been cleared up to an extent).

How did Saz reply to my message where I reached out to her?  "I'm sorry you feel that way"

See? No remorse. Claimed she wasn't uncomfortable with the whole gc but uncomfortable and scared of Min. Sell that bs to someone else.

According to Saz, the whole chat was okay with Min's horrible behavior that no one dared to speak about nor put a stop to it which had to be changed. When no one bit her bait she was clearly free to claim we're all horrible people that gang up on others and attack them relentlessly whenever they think differently. She's still saying it. Wow, standing up to hurting people, to lies, to other obvious bs makes you an awful person. Guess I shouldn't report anyone who attacks shippers solely for the ship and not behavior.

How dare friends vent for the past pain some fans inflicted on them and keep it contained in *gasp* a group chat that isn't public and everyone is free to be themselves?! The woooorst.

Okay, back to those memories.. Soon enough Saz was yet again defending Tink, claiming Min didn't stop but supposedly made subposts or sth and even threatened and blackmailed her.

Uh, wtf?? Way to twist words, wow, taking everything someone posts as personal. So healthy...

I've left them alone, so did my friends from chat and outside it. It's always the two that mention us in some way, add a lie etc. They do it in cycles they keep accusing us of.

Turn off that projector already, you two, move on, stop being vengeful spirits, c'monnn.

I'm not sure what happened before and what after, me messaging Saz or her messaging people from the chat she supposedly considered friends like Tink supposedly did too, I am sure that Saz went around trying to pull people with her and stand up to the massive threat that she clearly still sees Min as. I never messaged Tink. None of the people that have been contacted from the chat that have known Min for longer than me and also irl, none have agreed with Saz. What's even worse, Saz fed all that to another friend that I didn't see as being played by her, used this friend at the confrontation. That it indeed took me long to see.

At a point the two admitted that why they joined the chat for over a year, planning to leave it soon, that they regretted thinking it was a good idea, then both acted like that didn't happen- never said that, that no one saw that. Suuuure.

Hey, people have memory not just eyes. Your bs is not any less bs, Tink, Saz. Think we'll just ignore what we know know and ignore your maskless faces? Nah. Nice try.

Filp and flop, bitter then not and not then bitter again, contradicting selves again and again, taking every swing our way as an opportunity to add to it...

Like I mentioned already, it's cyclic. Feeling attacked so they let it out, then silence from them about it, bam, silence, more lies, silence, more slander, silence, new name for the horrible gc, silence and without doubt there's been bad mouthing in the months I moved on and didn't even remotely think of either of them.

When I expressed doubt to Saz about her words she took it as intimidation tactics, that this is what she gets or daring to disagree with Min and trying to call out Min. Her words. That I'm blind if I can't see the problem with Min, also that I'm bullying her.

Hello? Irony anyone? Self-awareness?? No one's home. Naturally. She's the frigging blind one. When it's more than one person that tells you you're wrong maybe take a step back and consider seeing where you're wrong and work on it. Saz and Tink have been around Min for less than others within the chat if I'm correct. Hell, I didn't know Min for as long as Chriss, Shea, Dot, Hikari, Sam and many others, yet still enough to see how Min is. A person, that like everyone can mess up, fight, apologize,  stand up to inaccuracies, to bs and other things while doing their thing, living their life, having their views...

Saz and Shea talked, anyone that knows anything about Shea knows that she won't just nod to bs and . She knows how people can get, knows how to handle them, had a job like that. She can go from zero to murder cop if necessary. Being Min's partner she looked into the situation and guess what? The whole thing has been taken out of proportions, there was no condescending tone, and also no innocents she said. I'll never forget that. No innocents. No one was innocent. There have been mistakes made my Min, being condescending WASN'T one of them.  

Yes, I've accused Saz of being okay with Yeshim because Drula is all buddy with Yeshim who Saz was (is?) friendly with, true, had to see the reaction. Did I believe that? Nope. That reaction along with the previous messaging told me enough on its own. Wasn't seeing her as a friend when I first messaged her already yet still being open to hear her side but nothing more cause it was clear to me she won't change her mind any soon nor will apologize to everyone she hurt. Her reply showed me she didn't and doesn't care about anyone in the chat but her and Tink.

I'll say it no matter how many times it needs to be said. If one of my friends does sth wrong and I see it I'll most likely contact them, reach out to them, tell them they did sth wrong, do it within a chat as it happens if needed. 

My point? I don't manipulate the people I consider as friends.

And once again.. Not only I'd notice the superiority in tone if there was any, I'd frigging mention it and talk about it. Most likely in DMs.

It looked like a misunderstanding at first, handled poorly, it uncovered a whole mountain of yikes in the end, kept getting worse since then. I think Saz never truly saw anyone in chat as her friends, she wouldn't accuse us that fast and keeping it up so long if she did. Acting like we betrayed her not the other way around.

Now the cult thing, Polol Discord server, Min being the cult leader.. Saz is lying again. Tink too. Notice the pattern?

Min being guilty of sth. Them not able to see what's right infront of their noses. People supposedly fearing Min and afraid to disagree. Min being a mighty fearful cult leader for having certain knowledge & being specialized in their fields. Uh, not happening. Obsessed much?

Ask anyone in the server, I'm waiting.

Stop projecting your issues on people, Saz and Tink. Not anyone's fault around here you feel inferior, feel the need to save people from others, feeling threatened without being threatened, playing victim for who knows how long so far, assigning power and clout where it's not in play at all. Therapy is nothing shameful, moving on is necessary. Please.

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece 1000 - 10 Confessions as a One Piece Fan

Although we did the Initial Thoughts a week ago (a long week ago, damn) which you can read here I wanted to do something for the official release of One Piece’s 1000th Chapter At first it started out to be ‘10 things I wanna ask Oda that I don’t think we’ll ever know’ but I couldn’t think of 10, then I was gonna do a General opinion post about it, but didn’t want it to come off too negative. So I am settling on a confessions post, which will have elements of these anyway.

So as we have a happy 1000, let’s talk about some stuff I usually don’t get to talk about in One Piece

Note: There will probably be spoilers so make sure you’re up to date

10. Late Beginnings I think the first confession I have to have is that despite being older than One Piece I am unfortunately not a ‘Day One’ fan. In fact I think I mainly got into One Piece around mid-Whole Cake Island arc, before I had of course known about One Piece, it was a ‘Big Three’ anime after all but the most I knew about it was that they had a guy named Luff-y and another called Zorro, and it was about ‘Pirates who can’t swim’. My curiosity only developed when in a youtube deep-dive of anime clips I kept being recommended One Piece clips, and decided to give a couple a go. Most of them were Paradise arc stuff from the anime, the dub voices were mostly atrocious so I stuck to sub. I was happily surprised about the amount of fun and emotional weight these clips gave me, which led me to check where One Piece was as of current and backtrack from there (Ironically I did the same with Beastars). I did eventually get caught up around the time of the Mafia Meeting and I’ve kept up with each chapter since.

9. I mostly still prefer the Pre-Timeskip looks When I first felt this I thought it to be pretty controversial, nowadays not so much. I understand that Oda wanted to change the look for many characters but some of them did feel like a downgrade. I think the ones who got it worst was Franky, I think it’s the bulbous shoulders, Franky was no stranger to body horror from Enies Lobby to Sabaody but I kinda preferred that he still had a lot of his humanity rather than looking like an action figure. Otherwise I think Robin, Nami and Chopper had it bad, maybe Brook too but his was more fashion than design; the women in general took heavy hits by Oda’s proportion design - I mean I get it boobs are nice but proportions are what make them better - but Robin also underwent a skin color change in the anime, who pre-timeskip shaded her skin darker than in the manga and corrected it to match the manga, I think most of us would’ve preferred Robin to have kept the darker skin tone and possibly even the fringe, Robin’s hairstyle (and her fashion in general) can be hit and miss. I go to and fro about Nami, other than the general waist and bust adjustments I think it fits her character to use her sexuality a bit, she was no stranger to that pre-Timeskip, sometimes though I can’t tell whether I preferred her with short or long hair (Short was definitely better on Nojiko), I do think though that Oda could have her show less skin, she is still very pretty in outfits such as Water 7, Thriller Bark and even her fake pirate disguise in the early chapters/episodes. Finally with Chopper I think it was a bad move to alter the hat, that was a memento from his father figure Hiriluk, it’d be like if Luffy altered his straw hat or Zoro replacing Wado Ichimonji, I do also feel that the design for Chopper’s points while easier to draw don’t look as good, I think a lot of it is the scruff, or lack thereof in favour of smoothness, Walk Point is fine but Heavy Point, Guard Point and Horn Point seem less threatening, Monster Point especially too, in Enies Lobby he looked like a cave painting of menace and destruction, now he’s smoother and his scruff lighter so it’s not as good. The rest of the designs I’m quite fine with though.

8. I wish some markings stuck as well Tattoos and Scars seem to be optional in the One Piece world sometimes, unless it’s branded in molten heat like the Dragon’s hoof, Sun Pirates logo or an attack from Sakazuki. While Nami’s redesigned tattoo has stuck around and Luffy and Zoro’s scars persist, they are mainly character reminders/mysteries for huge moments in the story, and I kinda wish that some of the Straw Hats had littler markings, not just scars either. For instance, the Alabasta X on the arm, I really wish that stayed on each of the Alabasta characters’ arms since it was a symbol of friendship with Vivi, I also wish that Luffy kept the 3D2Y mark on his arm. In terms of scars though it would’ve been nice to see the characters a bit more battle-worn; Zoro’s ankle scars from Mr. 3 have faded and frankly he should be covered in little and long scratches given his fights with Mr. 1 and 2 years of Mihawk Training, Nami’s shoulder scar is hidden completely by her tattoo and she has no scars on her hand (from fake stabbing Usopp) or foot (from blocking Miss Doublefinger), Usopp himself could’ve used some small scratches because lord knows how there’s even still bones in his nose plus he was in murder island for 2 years, Chopper could at least have a small bald patch from when his shoulder was impaled and burned by Shura’s fire lance too, other than that there’s just Jimbei’s potentially missing shoulder scar from Marineford, though Oda has kept it obscured a lot so maybe that is still there. I understand why Oda doesn’t or forgets to, but it would’ve been nice if we lived in a vacuum of no time limits and whatnot.

7. Dead End Adventure is my favourite One Piece film I don’t know what it is, but Dead End Adventure just gives me the most fun out of the One Piece films. It has a good side plot and the side character Shuraiya was a blast of a character. Granted, Gaspard wasn’t too good of a villain side for actually harming the straw hat and his defeat was a bit underwhelming but the race, the settings it was all fun. It is not to say I don’t enjoy any other One Piece movies, I delight in the horror fuel of Baron Omatsuri - and that killer final punch - and Z’s tragic tale of a fallen marine, Strong World has that epic entrance to the party and Stampede also had some great team up moments and fantastic writing for Usopp and Smoker but Dead End Adventure always feels like the movie I could watch in any mood.

6. Skypeia and Fishman Island are some of my favourite arcs While I can understand the criticism of the Long Ring Long Land arc (especially since the anime dragged out the Davy Back Fight) it surprised me that people found Skypeia and Fishman Island arcs to be boring or less entertaining than previous arcs. Everyone has their preferences of course but I felt that Skypeia and Fishman Island were very powerful arcs especially with the theme of racism. Both had glorious setting design different to the common customs of the world we had seen, Oda made both Skypeia and Fishman Island feel very much lived in with its own budding culture and prejudices, with a villain who was dead set on destroying everything just to have their way. With Enel and his priests we were able to push several characters to newer limits, with Robin showing her fighting capabilities, Zoro learning his projectile slashes, Chopper having to endure fighting 3 priests and even Usopp growing all the more braver in the face of seemingly indestructible opponents and later gaining access to the dials. With Fishman Island it was different because it was basically a ‘flex arc’: where the main villain is meant to be a stepping stone rather than a threat but even then the symbolism of the enemy is what’s significant with them, the inherited hatred of humans. But at the same time we do learn new strengths from the crew; Red Hawk, the use of armament Haki, Skywalk, Hell Memories, Franky Shogun, Usopp’s pop greens, Nami’s weather eggs, Brook’s Soul Solid and his new DF power (which is possibly an awakening), as well as the first true steps of Jimbei joining the crew. The biggest strength of both arcs is the flashback as well, like Wano would in present time both arcs demonstrated that Oda can carry a story without his main characters and still keep it as captivating as ever, be it the friendship of Noland and Calgara, the tragedies of Otohime and Fisher Tiger or the life of Kozuki Oden and the man who would be Pirate King. And the impact of Fishman Island and Skypeia’s flashbacks both come back around in Dressrosa with the dwarves and Koala, and Fishman Island really does kick off the whole Yonko saga with Luffy challenging Big Mom, these arcs were definitely significant as they were entertaining with silly faces, strong fights, challenging themes, lorebuilding, good side characters and unique twists. And the overall message of healing from the past is still significant to this day. Through Wyper’s sacrifice and the Bell ringing to Jimbei giving blood and the Ryugu royals wanting to attend the Reverie, it is all very powerful stuff and while the arcs are similar in nature its their similarities that make me love them. Also the cover stories with Enel and Gedatsu on their own mini adventures are fun

5. I really want to know where Ghin is Ghin/Gin was such an interesting character in Baratie. Given that this was right before Arlong Park too so we had not seen a character conflict with different loyalties in One Piece until then, his gratitude to Sanji against his loyalty to Krieg created a fantastically complex character, but then he left and we didn’t hear about him ever since. Did he survive Krieg’s poison gas? Is he still with Krieg? One reactor of the episode said “maybe he’ll become the next Don” which was a concept I kinda really liked. The guy was pretty strong given that he had bested Sanji at that time, and since he didn’t appear in a cover story my mind does wonder. It’s not just Ghin either, a lot of the early East Blue characters kinda fell off the map; where is Morgan? Last we saw he was sleeping as he sailed past Jango, where is Kuro? For someone wanting to resume piracy after some years off he has been very quiet, where is Krieg? Only Arlong and Morgan were arrested and the latter escaped so the rest of these characters are a mystery. Recently in Wano I am still wondering where Law’s crew that he brought to Onigashima went, as well as Caribou - where is that slippery bugger?

4. Basil Hawkins is probably one of my Top 5 Supernova There’s something about that dude I gravitate towards, which makes it quite frustrating when the anime decides to add extra malice and creepy faces to him. Hawkins in Wano is still a victim, if anything he is simply a prisoner with better working conditions, if he thought he could survive escaping Kaido he would but he doesn’t so he won’t, he’s also gonna feel sore about Drake betraying him and letting Law cut him up, so it annoys me that Hawkins is seen like a villain. Not only does he have an extremely interesting Devil Fruit and creativity with it but he’s also audaciously confident in his fortunetelling, even Luffy ran from Kizaru at Sabaody while Hawkins looked at his cards while Kizaru was about to boot him to holy hell and said ‘nah I’m not dying today’, you gotta respect that moxie. At the same time though as a pirate he has that shades of grey element, he’s okay with letting some of his crew be disposable and we don’t even know to what end, he doesn’t look like a guy too concerned about being Pirate King or having riches. I also get a good laugh in that his hobbies are interior design, it makes me really want to see what the inside of his ship looks like. I think as a top 5, I have Luffy, Zoro, Law, Hawkins and then Kid, Bege, Killer and Bonney are not far behind with Apoo dead last because fuck Apoo. Kid and Killer are cool but I do feel like they need a bit more character, Bege earned some points in being funny and his care for his family in WCI and then there’s Bonney - I really hope we dig into Bonney’s significance, she feels really important and that mystery keeps her fresh whenever we see her. Drake too has only really started to become interesting because of SWORD, we could still see more fleshing but for now he is like bottom 3. It’s a shame Urouge has to be so low, he’s not bad but he’s not spectacular either, gotta admire his hobby of lovemaking though, you do you Urouge.

3. I don’t think that either of the ‘Most Beautiful Women in the World’ are the Most Beautiful Women in One Piece The in-world consensus seems to be that the Most Beautiful Women in the World are Boa Hancock, Komurasaki and Shirahoshi, and granted they are very pretty, but the most? Not for me. I mean, y’all know that Nico Robin, Nami and Vinsmoke Reiju exist right? Makino as well is stunning, as are Tashigi, Bonney, Margaret, Ishilly, Nojiko, Vivi, Rebecca, Pudding, Perona, Cosette and I’m sure a few others, realistically I think they could all give them a run for their money. I get how for those three their beauty is a plot point (Boa it’s drilling home Luffy’s obliviousness to it, Komurasaki it’s the swerve of her not being awful and for Shirahoshi it’s due to Vander Decken IX pulling the creep factor on her) but it would’ve worked the same way without the ‘world’ hyperbole I think. As much as Oda is iffy with proportions and rarely writes women with as much attention as the boys he sure knows how to make them attractive.

2. Some of my favourite individual Straw Hat scenes aren’t in Canon If I were to have a top 5 moments of each character, it may surprise you that some of it comes from movies or filler episodes, particularly Sanji’s flexing on Jessica in the G8 Arc (in fact, Jonathon is one of my favourite marines, T-Bone is in there too, but I don’t have room to fit that). Some are of course obvious because of how iconic they are but it does go to show that sometimes filler isn’t all bad. Since you’re probably curious: As a Group Goodbye Merry [Enies Lobby] Entering Shiki’s Palace [Strong World] Walk to Arlong Park [Arlong Park] Entering the Grand Line [Reverse Mountain] vs a Stuck Oars [Thriller Bark] Jimbei Giving Luffy Blood [FMI] Vagabond Drill on Big Mom [WCI] Leaving the Big Mom Pirates [WCI] Returning in Wano [Wano] Trying to argue with Luffy [FMI] Brook vs Chess Soldiers & Big Mom [WCI] Flashback [Thriller Bark] Breaking Mother Carmel’s Picture [WCI] Baron Corpse vs Dog Minks [Zou] Hysterically laughing at seeing Duval [Sabaody] Franky vs Senor Pink [Dressrosa] Playing with the Kids [Punk Hazard] vs Fukurou [Enies Lobby] Freedom Roller [Wano] Trapping Caribou in the Barrel [FMI] Robin  I Want to Live [Enies Lobby] Clutching Spandam [Enies Lobby] Throwing Usopp under the bus [G8] vs Yama [Skypeia] Clutching Tequila Wolf guards [Amazon Lily] Chopper Monster Point [Enies Lobby] Flashback [Drum Island] Chopper Man (& Minoru Kazeno) vs Usobada [Chopper Man Special] Don’t blow the whistle: Immediately blows whistle [Skypeia] Dr Chopper the definitely Human Doctor not wearing fake glasses [G8] Vivi w/ Karoo (she counts okay!) Goodbye speech [Alabasta] Escaping Bon Clay [Alabasta] Karoo Digging Luffy Out [Little Garden] Luffy Fan Club Meeting [Reverie] Slapping Usopp awake [Drum Island] Nami vs Kalifa [Enies Lobby] Standing by the kids [Punk Hazard] Saying goodbye to Bell-mere [Arlong Park] Helping Luffy vs Cracker via Lola’s Vivre Card [WCI] Luffy WILL be Pirate King [Wano] Sanji ‘I needed a light’ [Skypeia] Flexing on Jessica [G8] Saving the Vinsmokes [WCI] O-Soba Mask [Wano] vs Doflamingo [Dressrosa]  Usopp Alabasta speech [Alabasta] Awakening Observation Haki [Dressrosa] Sogeking Theme Song [Enies Lobby] vs Perona [Thriller Bark] Saving Luffy from the fire [Stampede]  Zoro Nothing Happened [Thriller Bark] vs Ryuma [Thriller Bark] vs Mr. 1 [Alabasta] vs Gyukimaru & Kamazo [Wano] “He’s sweeping our floors that fiend!” Test of Luck [Loguetown] Luffy ‘On the Sea, you fight Pirates’ [Wano] Red Roc [Wano] vs Katakuri [WCI] Haki clash with Doflamingo [Dressrosa] Punching Saint Charloss [Sabaody] I will have to say that for some characters I could go to 20 so if one’s missing it may’ve just missed the mark, such as Usopp and Nami vs Enel or Luffy putting back a Zombie or Stealth Luffy, I mean it is 1000 chapters as well as movies and filler episodes/specials...

1. I’ve learned quite a lot due to One Piece Since my fascination started with a deep dive of checks, I did start to learn a hell of a lot more not just about the franchise itself (you know it’s almost catching up BATMAN on total sales, which has been around more than 3 times longer?) but I also learned a lot about stuff Oda has used as a reference key; folklore, actual pirates, actual practices, the amount of detail Oda puts in is astounding. Which does lean into another thing I’ve learned, One Piece has changed the way I approach some of my ideas for writings and whatnot, before I would be afraid of either spoonfeeding or being too vague, Oda’s mastery not only in storytelling but character development, character quality and pacing has both helped and intimidated me a lot of times, I mean consider this: it took hundreds of chapters to get a proper backstory on Luffy, the main character, how unprecedented is that? Often I could fall into the trap of making sure you knew everything about the main character from day one but now I wonder about what’s necessary for the now and what can I work on. Another thing that both inspires and intimidates me is his drawing, I suck at colours and still do, and a lot of Oda’s attention to detail is incredible considering he’s gotta whip that out on the weekly, but at the same time you see some of his rough sketches and they’re pretty similar to a rough sketch of my own, so in a way it’s a ‘there’s still hope for you’ moment seeing those. I can’t say I’ve learned Japanese from listening to One Piece, but I have picked up on some stuff, some hiragana there, some phonetics here, I also appreciated some of the stuff kaizokuou-ni-naru does (I won’t tag them in case that’s a bit rude to do it out of the blue but check out their tumblr) when it came to deciphering the Japanese of chapters and the little puns and hints Oda puts in his native tongue. And of course any One Piece fan has learned one thing above all else: Patience. Oda himself included, it took over 20 years to get to 1000 chapters and we still have plenty of questions to ask, plenty of islands to see and thus plenty of chapters to go. So Straw Hats off to you Oda, and a happy 1000th!

[crossroadsfossil]

May I Have a Name

Atsuhiro Sako was not the name he was born with. Nor was it his second name, the one he chose to wear and parade around. His third and fourth had come and gone so quickly he didn’t remember them. During his few years, he’s had many names, changing them out when they become too heavy a burden to bear. His family may have a lineage he cannot escape but at least with his name, he can run from it, just for a little while. 

When it is all over, the war, the drive, the energy to fight, everything that had given their little family life and fire had died down, he takes them to see the witch. They are tired and aching, lighter of limbs and organs and ideals. They have lost so much and gained so little in comparison. He thinks it’s time for them to seek out something else. There is no shame in starting from scratch. 

He has never done this with others. He was brought the first time, brought by a man who loved his brother and took on the weight of a promise to keep Atsuhiro safe when he could not. He did not remember his brother’s lover. He recalled a warmth and a deep affection, a warmer palm on a shoulder blade and a mask pressed into his hand, carrying the mark of his brother. That man was many years dead, vanishing into the night after ensuring Atsuhiro was cared for. 

She called herself a witch, playing into the stereotypes with vigor and zest for the tacky theatrics. He respected it greatly, even if her style clashed horribly with his own. The name he knows her by is Faetrader. It is the only name he has ever known for her. 

She tilts her hat high upon her brow, looking long and hard, first at him and then at those he has brought. Tired eyes return her gaze, and she must see something, for her eyes soften at the edges and she welcomes them in with no trickery or haggling. Everything in his pockets stays in his pockets, although there are a few hard candies where they weren’t any before. She gives him a pleased wink when he notices. 

They sit in her parlor, and she gives them tea and sweet things to eat and savory soups that are light on their stomachs. She looks over their wounds and slowly, stories spill out. She says nothing throughout the storytelling, yet with nothing more than a glance or a twitch of a lip, they tell her all that has happened to them. He assumes it’s part of her quirk. She hears of their trials, of missing limbs and deep scars, of betrayal and love and loss and all the little and large things in between. She listens as things familiar to him and not are aired to the room, watches as the other’s jolt in surprise at what escapes them. Not quite dark secrets, but things that wouldn’t normally be aired to strangers. 

Faetrader is and isn’t a stranger. She is a liminal space shaped like a person. 

When Atsuhiro finishes all that he has to tell her (at least, all the new things she has yet to hear), he gets up and takes a seat on the pillow before her. It’s old and threadbare, carrying the ages and ghosts of all those who have sat upon it before. He knows the routine. Knows the process required for her quirk to work. He sits before her, gloves and mask set in her waiting hands. They are the things that he will not change, cannot let them be changed. 

She smiles at the familiarity of it. He mirrors her expression and clears his throat. 

“My dear Faetrader, may I have a new name? Mine is heavy with deeds and stories and my remaining limbs are weak and weary.” He feels the edges of her quirk sink into the broken parts of him, probing and testing like an insects’ antenna. He feels it move up to his face, holding him still. Her hands are still in her lap, fingers curled around his mask and gloves as she examines his features carefully. She leans in, cheek brushing his as she whispers in his ear. 

He laughs, caught off guard by the name she has given him. It’s startling enough that he doesn’t feel his old name, his old self being tugged away from him, like stray threads being pulled free. He can feel the change beginning. It’ll take a few weeks for it to fully settle, but already he knows he will not recognize the man in the mirror when he looks later that night. Her smile grows wider and she offers him back his mask and gloves. As he takes them, she turns to the rest of the group, smile sharp and predatory as the unspoken question hangs in the air. 

Who is next? 

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sako watches the others as their new names and identities slowly settle around them, some settling like cloaks and others as hoodies or blankets or something else. Dabi is the most at ease with it; not a surprise since he is well versed in shucking old lives and taking up new ones. He walks the house, exploring and sticking his nose into the near-endless rooms which are eighty percent closets. At least, that is how the house presents itself to him. Rooms upon rooms of closets, with half-picked apart identities, hung up on a rack, waiting for Faetrader to weave them into something new. He hears the distant sound of a door sliding open. It seems something has piqued Dabi’s interest. 

Toga lets out a frustrated whine and runs a hand through her hair again. It doesn’t look different to him, yet, but she keeps fidgeting with it. Shigaraki is similarly discomforted by the sensation, although he hides it better. The neck scratching has returned, and Sako worries. 

His worries seem to ring loud enough that Faetrader shows up, bringing more tea and snacks and followed by several cats. A dog lurks behind her, not quite right in the shadows of the hallway. Too-human eyes peer in at them before blinking out of existence. 

Dabi returns shortly after, anger and confusion broiling under his skin as he brandishes a garment bag at their host. She looks at it and smiles. Sako watches as she takes the bag, unzipping it and pulling out long red feather after feather. They are achingly familiar. She offers one to Dabi. 

“Why do you have these?” He snarls, reaching out with his hand. A pale blue fire flickers up, catching the edge of the feather before sputtering out. Surprise streaks across Dabi’s face as he looks down at his hand. Another weak blue flame flares up and then dies as quickly. Again, Faetrader offers him one of Hawks’ feathers. 

He doesn’t take it. 

“Curious.” Sako muses, “It seems Hawks also knew of this place, correct?” Their host nods, putting the feathers back into the garment bag. 

“How long ago was he here?” 

Three fingers slowly rose. 

“Three days?” She shook her head. 

“Three hours?” She nodded, grin turning predatory again, her eyes sliding to watch the expressions morph on Dabi’s face. Dabi noticed her glee and he snarled, fist opening and closing, old motions for calling fire no longer working for him. He turns on a heel and stalks off down the hallway. Faetrader lets out a silent laugh and folds the garment bag over her arm. She pauses, thinking better of it. She gestures with it to the room, an invitation for them to take it. 

“No, my dear, I don’t think any of us would like that mantle.” She shook her head again and tucked her hands under her armpits, flapping her elbows like wings. “I don’t think any of us would like wings, either. Or the quirk that comes with them.” 

She sighs as if saying ‘as you wish’ and left, going down the hallway after Dabi. Sako sincerely hoped that Dabi wouldn’t do anything to piss Faetrader off. Their identities were still forming and Faetrader could be quite malicious if you spurned her goodwill. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

By the next morning, Sako feels his new quirk. Well, it’s an old quirk that’s been massaged to fit his new identity and name. It will take some time getting used to, but he’s content. What was more enjoyable was watching Shigaraki trying out the quirk associated with his new identity. Toga was frustrated with hers, something to do with paper folding and she was on the verge of tears when Shigaraki sat down next to her and started combing through her hair with his fingers. 

It was like Toga’s strings had been cut, she slumped against him, purring in calm contentedness. At least until Toga and Shigaraki realized she was quite literally purring. It startled both of them out of their seats. For the last hour, he had been watching Shigaraki test out his ability. So far they had puzzled out that he could purr, people he touched could purr, and the purring seemed to imbue the space within hearing range with a sense of calm and contentment. 

Dabi returned late last night from his exploration of the house, gently escorted by the human-eyed dog that Faetrader had. It waited patiently for Dabi to settle down to sleep before closing the door and walking away. Sako had watched as the shadows on the screen wall changed from dog to something almost human, but not quite. It didn’t have the right proportions. He caught Dabi’s eyes in the dark. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who noticed the oddity of the dog. Dabi silently shifted so his back was to the wall, despite Sako whispering that they were quite safe in this house. 

Dabi was still pressed against the wall now, eyeing his hands, no doubt trying to summon the fire he had spent his life with. Slowly, something else began to manifest. It was faint, but Sako felt his lips twitch into a grin as various colored strings appeared around Dabi’s fingers. They faintly reached out to everyone in the room. He met Dabi’s eyes and, much to his delight and amusement, Dabi flustered, face flushing as he crossed his arms, hiding his hands and new quirk. 

Faetrader appeared at the door, a mug of coffee in one hand and her bathrobe loose around her shoulders, sleep shirt and pants overly-large. Her hat was perched on her head, and Sako knew it was time for them to leave. There were bags at the front door, filled with everything they would need to start over again. Identification cards, paperwork, bits and bobs of a life someone else lived. He knew the drill. Take your bag and live. 

As they left, she caught his arm. It was the first time that she had done that. She held an envelope out to him, and waited as he opened it. Inside were two photos. They were of young men and they looked vaguely familiar. Names were scrawled on the bottom, along with tiny doodles. One was of a theater mask, smiling and crying. The other was a feather drawn in red ink. 

Oh. 

Oh.

“.... How?” He asked. Faetrader gave him a small, sad smile. Unable to tell him the details. This was as much as she was able to do. She squeezed his hands and left him and his little family at the doorway, disappearing into the darkness of the house. 

He cleared his throat. 

“Well then. A quick reminder- once we leave this house, we aren’t the people we were before.” Sako said, pocketing the envelope and picking up his bags. “You won’t be able to use your old names easily anymore, and well, I’m sure you’ve seen the other changes already.” He gestured to his own changing facial features. He still had his dark hair and charming good looks, but it was just slightly off, not the Atsuhiro Sako they had known. They were new people now, ready to live new lives, free of the burdens of their past. 

He knew this song and dance quite well, but this time, he had others with him. He patted the pocket with the envelope. 

And, it seemed, direction on where to go to get the others. 

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE ANATOMY OF VC BE A STARTUP

If in the next couple years. Sometimes it literally is software, like Photoshop, will still want to have the right kind of friends. Where the work of PR firms.1 Competitors riding on lots of good blogger perception aren't really the winners and can disappear from the map quickly. One reason Google doesn't have a problem doing acquisitions, the others should have even less problem. Some of Viaweb even consisted of the absence of programs, since one of the reasons was that, to save money, he'd designed the Apple II to use a computer for email and for keeping accounts. They want to know what is a momentous one. How do you find them? Suppose it's 1998. The big media companies shouldn't worry that people will post their copyrighted material on YouTube. Once someone is good at it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.

Gone with the Wind plus Roots. This is extremely risky, and takes months even if you succeed.2 At most software companies, especially at first. Their answers were remarkably similar. I use constantly?3 Combined they yield Pick the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. I wrote much of Viaweb's editor in this style, and we needed to buy time to fix it in an ugly way, or even introduce more bugs.4

Historically investors thought it was important for a founder to be an online store builder, but we may change our minds if it looks promising, turn into a company at a pre-money valuation is $1.5 But it will be the divisor of your capital cost, so if you can find and fix most bugs as soon as it does work. Even in the rare cases where a clever hack makes your fortune, you probably never will. You may not believe it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.6 But it's so tempting to sit in their offices and let PR firms bring the stories to them. Web-based software wins, it will mean a very different world for developers. I think we're just beginning to see its democratizing effects. But this is old news to Lisp programmers. If 98% of the time.7 It might help if they were a race apart.8

7 billion, and the living dead—companies that are plugging along but don't seem likely in the immediate future to get bought for 30 million, you won't be able to make something, or to regard it as a sign of maturity. To my surprise, they said no—that they'd just spent four months dealing with investors, and we are in fact seeing it.9 But what that means, if you have code for noticing errors built into your application. The number of possible connections between developers grows exponentially with the size of the group. We think of the overall cost of owning it. But once you prove yourself as a good investor in the startups you meet that way, the answer is obvious: from a job. Your housemate was hungry. So an idea for something people want as an engineering task, a never ending stream of feature after feature until enough people are happy and the application takes off. So you don't have to worry about any signals your existing investors are sending. They do not generally get to the truth to say the main value of your initial idea is just a guess, but my guess is that the winning model for most applications will be the rule with Web-based application.

It's practically a mantra at YC. You probably need about the amount you invest, this can vary a lot.10 If you lose a deal to None, all VCs lose.11 Plenty of famous founders have had some failures along the way. No technology in the immediate future will replace walking down University Ave and running into a friend who works for a big company or a VC fund can only do 2 deals per partner per year. For insiders work turns into a duty, laden with responsibilities and expectations.12 In addition to catching bugs, they were moving to a cheaper apartment.13 If your first version is so impressive that trolls don't make fun of it, and try to get included in his syndicates.14 VCs did this to them.15

Most people, most of the surprises. So the previously sharp line between angels and VCs. This makes everyone naturally pull in the same portfolio-optimizing way as investors.16 And there is a big motivator.17 These things don't get discovered that often. Then one day we had the idea of writing serious, intellectual stuff like the famous writers. You need investors. The mud flat morphs into a well. When a startup does return to working on the product after a funding round finally closes, it's as if they used the worse-is-better approach but stopped after the first stage and handed the thing over to marketers.

Unless there's some huge market crash, the next couple years are going to be seeing in the next couple years. And yet when I got back I didn't discard so much as a box of it. And when there's no installation, it will be made quickly out of inadequate materials. It's traditional to think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors at some point. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to sell.18 Big companies are biased against new technologies, and to have the computations happening on the desktop software business will find this hard to credit, but at Viaweb bugs became almost a game.19 Plans are just another word for ideas on the shelf.

I wouldn't try it myself. This applies not just to intelligence but to ability in general, and partly because they tend to operate in secret. Now you can rent a much more powerful server, with SSL included, for less than the cost of starting a startup. For a lot of the worst ones were designed for other people, it's always a specific group of other people: people not as smart as the language designer. We're not hearing about Perl and Python because people are using them to write Windows apps. But if you look into the hearts of hackers, you'll see that they really love it.20 I am always looking.21 But you know perfectly well how bogus most of these are. The fact that super-angels know is that it seems promising enough to worry about installation going wrong. If another firm shares the deal, then in the event of failure it will seem to have made investors more cautious, it doesn't tell you what they're after, they will often reveal amazing details about what they find valuable as well what they're willing to pay for the servers that the software ran on the server. Why can't defenders score goals too? If coming up with ideas for startups?

Notes

But if they pay a lot of people who need the money.

A Bayesian Approach to Filtering Junk E-Mail.

Unless you're very docile compared to sheep. Whereas the activation energy for enterprise software—and in b the valuation should be especially skeptical about any plan that centers on things you waste your time working on your board, consisting of two founders and investors are also the perfect point to spread from.

Surely no one on the way up into the heads of would-be poets were mistaken to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and cook on lowish heat for at least once for the correction. I know it didn't to undergraduates on the y, you'd see a clear upward trend.

The hardest kind of method acting. Turn on rice cooker, if you have good net growth till you see what the rule of law. But there are no discrimination laws about starting businesses. In fact, this seems empirically false.

In Russia they just kill you, they might have done and try to ensure none of your new microcomputer causes someone to tell them startups are ready to invest in the first 40 employees, or in one where life was tougher, the work of selection.

The best kind of kludge you need to, but except for money. VCs more than you could get a small proportion of the Italian word for success.

To a 3:59 mile as a motive, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to assume it's bad. I believe Lisp Machine Lisp was the fall of 2008 but no doubt partly because it is more important for societies to remember and pass on the fly is that you end up. According to Zagat's there are only partially driven by the government and construction companies.

One great advantage of startups have elements of both. Not least because they're determined to fight. The quality of investor behavior.

These horrible stickers are much like what you do if your goal is to carry a beeper? Acquisitions fall into in the angel is being unfair to him?

Which OS?

As I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, you're not allowed to discriminate on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the editor in Lisp, you might be tempted to ignore what your GPA was.

Prose lets you be more alarmed if you want to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. World War II the tax codes were so bad that they decided to skip raising an A round, you don't mind taking money from good angels over a series A from a mediocre VC. The dictator in the US. Google's revenues are about two billion a year for a couple hundred years or so you can make offers that super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats for shorter periods.

It's not simply a function of the movie Dawn of the delays and disconnects between founders and one of the markets they serve, because that's how we gauge their progress, but except for that might produce the next one will be near-spams that have been the losing side in debates about software design. Japanese.

There were a first—9. Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives were, they'd have something more recent. Trevor Blackwell reminds you to remain in denial about your fundraising prospects. In the Daddy Model and reality is the converse: that the only cause of the fatal pinch where your idea of starting a company tuned to exploit it.

A few VCs have an email being spam.

The late 1960s were famous for social upheaval. Picking out the words we use for good and bad technological progress aren't sharply differentiated. Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard.

So you can fix by writing library functions.

If Congress passes the founder of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that three quarters of them. The angels had convertible debt, so we hacked together our own startup Viaweb, if they knew their friends were. But be careful. The original Internet forums were not web sites but Usenet newsgroups.

The only people who had been with us if the quality of production. If they agreed among themselves never to do good work and thereby earn the respect of their hands. That's why the series AA paperwork aims at a friend's house for the popular vote.

Galbraith p. And so this one is harder, the median VC loses money. European art.

Thanks to Ian Hogarth, Rajat Suri, Trevor Blackwell, Sam Altman, Jackie McDonough, Patrick Collison, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading a previous draft.

[thedreideldiaries]

Hey, friends! I thought I’d take this opportunity to expound in my political choices a bit - specifically to give some context for my choice of Sanders over Warren. Note for a few of my followers who know me elsewhere: this is copied over from other social media, so if it sounds familiar that is why.

First, I want to reiterate that I like Warren. So, if anyone reading this is torn between her and any of the other clowns who have thrown their sorry hats into the ring, then please: do me and the rest of the world a favor, stop reading this right now, and go ahead and give Warren your vote. I won’t be mad. Promise. If you’re on the fence between Warren and Sanders, though, then I implore you to read on.

Okay, is it just us in here? Cool.

For my friends torn between Warren and Sanders (like I was at the beginning of the primary), I’ve tried to distill my reasoning. As you know, a lot of the discourse surrounding Warren’s campaign constructs her as a younger, female version of Sanders. If I believed that, I’d be solidly in her corner, but a few differences between them make this simply not the case. Here are the ones I find most salient:

1. Let’s look at Bernie’s base. As much as we love to talk about representation in politics, a candidate’s demographic background tells us nothing about who they’re going to fight for. Their voting base, on the other hand, tells you who has placed their confidence in that candidate’s promises.

A good proportion of Warren’s supporters are white college graduates (young and old).

By contrast Bernie’s base is overwhelmingly working class, non-white, urban, and, perhaps most tellingly, young. You could attribute that to naivete, but I think something else is going on here: the demographic group with the most to win or lose from this election are people under 30. We’re the ones who will have to live with the most devastating effects of climate change, and we’re tired of the so-called adults in our lives not taking that rather pressing concern seriously. We don’t care if our candidate is old or young - we care if they listen. Which brings me to:

2. The Youth. Young people in America are disillusioned with democracy - not because we’ve decided it’s not a good idea, but because we’ve literally never seen it in action. We live in a corporate plutocracy where the financial barriers to running for office have rendered most politicians ridiculously out of touch. And Sanders, more than any other candidate in the primary, knows how to talk to young people.

And look - I’m planning to vote for whoever wins the primary. But if 2016 is anything to go by, if the youth demographic doesn’t get a candidate they can get behind, they won’t vote strategically for the lesser of two evils. They’ll stay home, and given what the Democratic party has done for them over the past 20 or so years, I can’t say I blame them.

3. The same goes for his endorsements. I’d be out of my lane if I spent too much time talking about what Sanders wants to do for people of color, but I think it’s telling that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, and Ilhan Omar - three politicians showing real determination to shake things up in Washington - all chose Bernie over Warren. I think it’s telling that AOC cited his campaign, not Warren’s, as her inspiration for running for office (if anyone’s a female Sanders, it’s not Warren - it’s AOC).

4. Sanders is, quite simply, the genuine article. He’s fought for important causes (climate justice, healthcare, workers’ rights) since long before they were cool. He’s *not* perfect, but criticisms of him rarely touch his political history.

Warren’s record of activism is, by contrast, unimpressive. She used to be a Republican corporate lawyer, and while I absolutely respect that someone can change their mind about politics, and I applaud her for doing so, it worries me that what changed her mind wasn’t the Iran-Contra scandal, or the AIDS crisis, or the brutal crushing of the labor movement. It was the realization that Republicans were doing capitalism wrong. I can’t exactly argue with that (show me a Republican politician who truly supports a free market and I’ll eat my beret*), but it doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.

*This is a joke. I do not have a beret.

5. Warren’s a capitalist; Sanders is a democratic socialist, and I think the difference is important. Warren supports a wealth tax, and she wants everyone to have healthcare, and I appreciate that she has the guts to talk about those things on national television, but at the end of the day, she’s a proud capitalist who believes the system needs to be corrected, not overhauled.

Sanders is a self-professed democratic socialist, and has built a popular movement around that label. And honestly, I’m not too worried about redbaiting. Yes, it’s a common Republican tactic, but the sentiment of “yes I would vote for Democrats but not for Socialist democrats” is a rare one, if it exists at all. And if it works against any of the primary candidates, it’ll work against all of them. They used anti-Commmunist rhetoric against Obama, for goodness’ sake. Look how much of an advocate for the working class he turned out to be.

Courting the centrist vote is a waste of time. Tiptoeing around conservatives alienates left-wingers and doesn’t actually sway Republicans. It’s a bad move strategically, in that it makes us look like cowards, and morally, because it means not getting very important things done.

Sanders doesn’t want to play the game better. He wants to start a whole new game. Warren’s economics platform seems to boil down to “50s but less racist,” and while that sounds nice, it’s just not possible. We can’t go back there - we have automation now, not to mention a global economy the likes of which we barely dreamed of in the 1950s, and it’s not realistic to try to make that happen again. We need something new.

6. People over party. In a lot of ways, Warren reminds me of the best parts of The West Wing. I like that show, but it was a comforting fantasy - a vision of what the Democratic Party could have been like with a little more gumption and a lot more luck. It never happened because the Democratic party and politics aren’t like that in real life. I have confidence in Sanders because his loyalty isn’t to the Democratic Party. It’s to the American people. He’s proved that over and over again over the course of his political career.

7. Bernie is an organizer. The “not me - us” slogan is very telling. Democracy is participatory. We don’t just need a candidate with a plan to fix everything. We need a candidate with a plan who acknowledges that the people hold the real power. We need a candidate who respects the will of the people and inspires them to get involved. We can’t win this election and stop thinking about politics. We never get to stop thinking about politics. We need someone who can inspire people to keep fighting.

The heart attack was a big deal, but the truth is, it’s never been about Bernie as an individual. His immediate reaction after getting out of the hospital was “I’m lucky to have healthcare; everyone should have healthcare; let’s get back to work.” That, more than anything, has given me the confidence that Bernie wants his policies to last long after he’s gone.

Also, people regularly have heart attacks and live another several decades. This is *literally* why we have vice presidents. If Sanders can get elected and pick a good VP and a cabinet (plus, you know, fill any Supreme Court vacancies that happen to arise over his tenure), his health won’t matter as much, because we don’t need a messiah right now. We need a resurgence of participatory democracy. We need more AOCs to take the stage. We need young people at the polls, not just in 2020, but beyond that.

8. I don’t like to talk about electability for a couple of reasons. One: centrists love to bring it up, usually in the service of talking about how policies they have zero stake in will never work. Two: Trump was supposed to be unelectable, and we all saw how that turned out.

That said: Warren’s currently polling third, which is not a great place to be. And while I don’t share some people’s cynicism about Warren, I have to agree that her response to Trump’s attacks has not impressed me. I’m confident that if Trump attacks Sanders, Bernie won’t take the bait, because he’s so on-message you can’t get him off-message. Like I said: he had a heart attack and immediately spun it back into the healthcare conversation.

And the polls are clear: head to head, Sanders beats Trump. Warren’s chances are far dicier.

9. And the most important issue, without which nothing else really matters: the climate crisis. I’d love it if we could wait for the country’s ideas to catch up to Sanders’ socialist rhetoric, but the truth is we are running out of time. I’m voting for Sanders because I have two nieces under 5 years old and a nephew who was just born, and I want them to grow up on a habitable planet, and they won’t get a chance to vote on that. I’m doing it because I want to have kids of my own someday, and while I absolutely respect the choice of anyone deciding to reproduce right now, I don’t have the emotional energy to raise a family during an apocalypse. And while I like Warren, and she’s expressed support for a Green New Deal, Sanders is the only candidate I trust to both beat Trump in the general and put his foot down to the DNC and their ilk.

10. Foreign policy!

First of all: guess who else hates American Imperialism? That’s right; it’s Bernie Sanders. Significantly, he has the guts to bring up America’s habit of meddling in Latin America’s democratically elected governments, which is something you pretty much never hear about from pretty much any other candidate.

https://www.vox.com/2019/6/25/18744458/bernie-sanders-endless-wars-foreign-affairs-op-ed

Foreign policy came up a lot during 2016 primary, with Clinton’s supporters trotting out the bizarre argument that a long history of hawkish policies is better than no policies at all. What with all that, I was surprised to learn that Sanders is actually quite well-traveled and has a long history of trying to mend fences between the U.S. and other world powers: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/02/bernie-sanders-foreign-policy/470019/

When it comes to climate change and foreign policy, Sanders acknowledges not only that it requires innovation (let’s not forget his early and vehement support for the Green New Deal), but also international cooperation. From the link below:

“To both Sanders and his supporters around the world, it is impossible to fight climate change without international cooperation. To that end, a group called the Progressive International was announced at a convention last year held by the Sanders Institute, a think tank founded by the presidential contender’s wife and son.

“The network of left-wing politicians and activists hopes to fight against "the global war being waged against workers, against our environment, against democracy, against decency,” according to its website.”

He’s also popular with left-wing leaders around the world, and it’s those kinds of politicians who we need to get us out of the climate crisis.

https://www.politico.com/story/2019/04/04/bernie-sanders-global-popularity-1254929

And finally, to stray briefly into comparison: again, I like Warren, but even so, I like her better domestically than internationally. The progressivism she touts at home comes up short abroad. I’m sure you’ve heard about it already, but I think it’s worth remembering that Warren voted for Trump’s military budget in 2017; Sanders didn’t. She talks a lot about peace, but her history on foreign issues looks pretty similar to that of other centrist democrats. This is a problem not only in terms of American Imperialism, but also because the U.S. military is one of the world’s leading causes of climate change. Her voting history and her cozy relationship with defense contractors have me pretty worried. This article goes into more detail about her history with various foreign powers as well as her general attitudes on American imperialism:

https://jacobinmag.com/2019/05/elizabeth-warren-foreign-policy

We all pretty much knew what we were getting with Clinton. Warren worries me not only because she seems to align with the rest of the party on our endless foreign wars, but because she keeps her support for the military-industrial complex behind a facade of progressive rhetoric that reminds me of the early Obama years. We can’t be let down like that again. Even if we ignore the devastating human cost, the planet doesn’t have time.

Further Reading - obviously I don’t agree with everything in every one of these pieces, but they offer a leftist critique that often goes missing from other, more superficial problems people bring up about Warren.

The polling bases of the primary candidates: https://www.people-press.org/2019/08/16/most-democrats-are-excited-by-several-2020-candidates-not-just-their-top-choice/pp_2019-08-16_2020-democratic-candidates_0-06/?fbclid=IwAR2G8np2q9N4P6DArdI-gPhA5Wp_SYDZPKQDpDhxVZ4YbwnAEmFd65swMOA

An interesting take on Warren’s policies vs Bernie’s movement: https://jacobinmag.com/2019/04/elizabeth-warren-policy-bernie-sanders-presidential-primary?fbclid=IwAR14wWjYDNuNMrXN7YjVFFFHXmoMWKpDVqBcbPBlQUUrA354iIyRAbKXG30

An opinion piece on the contrast between them:

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2019/08/bernie-sanders-elizabeth-warren-democratic-party-elite-2020-presidential-race?fbclid=IwAR3vA54QveM2cCTxQ2BbVXh_IICgTxweKVBLMRjhSFyyAdspnibJ50seDjY

Another one:

https://forward.com/opinion/432561/the-case-for-bernie-sanders-the-only-real-progressive-in-the-race-sorry/?fbclid=IwAR1vwONZ7azJQcoeo_KYNYiJ8ekzHhJsZ4Ms0UzDHI59j7Q6oio-5uJOGcI

Warren’s political history:

More about that from a different source:

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2019/10/why-criticize-warren?fbclid=IwAR0NTP0cRbSnr-a6HCuxE-4SCJZEqU2EAL1Gnx70FME-9UMBg-xYE5t7g7Y

A prequel to the former (beware - this one’s scathing as heck):

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2019/09/the-prospect-of-an-elizabeth-warren-nomination-should-be-very-worrying?fbclid=IwAR03d5I5j72s4kQC9wgRSrXnbmWsp_9HUvRWBZwzcfsT9RsZP-lSAX4aPz0

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos 

 *sigh* Akane, you’re wrong 

 Ooo, not good 

 And that is what no self control looks like folks 

 What is with that ending? 

 And this is what manipulation look like folks 

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind 

 I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already 

 I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use 

 Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong 

 I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all 

 Also, can you not knock them out? 

 I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over 

 Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right? 

 Wholeass mood for Ranma 

 Like you two need to shut up 

 I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE 

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground? 

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time? 

 Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan 

 I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over 

 No questions, just punches a grave 

 Why does that grave hit back? 

 Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out 

 I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing 

 Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole 

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean 

God, Genma you actually suck 

 Oh, thank God she’s not too smart 

 The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing 

 That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

 C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

 Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

 Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

 MtF Konatsu

 Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

 Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

 Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

 This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

 “Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

 Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!

[shadows-and-science-gone-mad]

An Analysis of the Creature Designs in Jurassic Fight Club

The 2008 History Channel miniseries Jurassic Fight Club was not a good show. Almost objectively, it was a badly-done series. The effects were of generally high quality, but those decent effects were in service of a poorly-scripted, gratuitously-violent, scientifically-inaccurate gorefest masquerading as a documentary.

It’s not worth your time.

That said, one bit of unambiguous praise I can give it lies in the designs for the dinosaurs. While they are frequently very inaccurate, they are completely unlike any dinosaur designs in any other media. The showrunners very easily could have just appropriated stock footage from older programs to pad their runtime, but they created unique clips featuring their own designs, which is commendable.

In this post, I’m going to be going through all of the creature designs that appear in Jurassic Fight Club and give my honest thoughts on them. I will factor in both accuracy to the real animal and my own personal tastes, and ultimately assign each one a score out of 10.

So, without further ado, let’s begin:

Majungasaurus crenatissimus (male)

Let’s cover these in order of appearance, which means that the male Majungasaurus is first on the plate. (I am choosing to ignore that they call it Majungatholus in the narration; that is not what this creature’s name is.)

This is a pretty interesting portrayal of this animal. They very easily could have just thrown some skin over the bones and called it a day. But, they stretched their creativity a bit and gave it some speculative soft tissue, and I like that.

That said, the anatomy is completely wrong for a Majungasaurus. The skull is correct, but the arms are too well-developed, and the legs are way too long and lean. Those proportions would work pretty well if this were a Carnotaurus, but it’s a bit too athletic for a majungasaur.

7/10.

Majungasaurus crenatissimus (female)

This is much more in line with what I was expecting from their Majungasaurus. It has the exact same problems as the male, and is missing the speculative soft tissue that I liked so much. Still okay, but not as interesting as the male.

6/10.

Tyrannosaurus rex

No, I don’t know why it’s squatting like that in this promotional image.

Ignoring the weird pose, this isn’t too bad, actually. Sure, it still has broken wrists, and the skull is a bit off, but it otherwise looks about right. For a depiction of T. rex from 2008, this is pretty decent stuff. I like the muted purple color, and I am immensely appreciative of the fact that they didn’t just copy-paste a Jurassic Park rex into their show. They could have very easily done that, but they chose to make something more representative of the actual animal.

8/10.

Nanotyrannus lancensis

This one’s a bit tough to judge. You see, Nanotyrannus doesn’t actually exist. In 2008, it was considered its own genus. But, in the decade since this series aired, it has been all but confirmed that Nanotyrannus is just a juvenile Tyrannosaurus.

That said, as a juvenile Tyrannosaurus, this is pretty good. It’s slim and fierce, with a good color scheme and decent accuracy to the fossils. Aside from the fact that this animal never existed, this is decent. Not bad at all.

7/10.

Deinonychus antirrhopus

I am of completely mixed opinions about this one. On the one hand, aside from the broken wrists, the anatomy is pretty much spot-on. You can tell that the designers actually looked at real Deinonychus skeletons to model this. Also, the blue body with the striping on the tail is a very striking color pallete. As a design, this is actually pretty good.

But, then we get to the elephant in the room. Not a single feather to be found anywhere on its body. Even in 2008, no feathers at all was barely acceptable, and it is completely unforgiveable today.

I have heard that they didn’t do feathers because of budgetary restrictions, which is understandable, but it does drag this design down quite a bit.

I’m going to have to give it a neutral score. It’s a great monster design, but it’s a terrible raptor.

5/10.

Tenontosaurus tilletti

Poor Tenontosaurus. It pretty much only ever gets media representation so that it can be killed by either Deinonychus or Acrocanthosaurus, and nobody ever seems to give it the time of day.

Fortunate, then, that this is a fantastic design.

Anatomically, it’s spot-on. The colors are dull, but not boring. It has a good amount of soft tissue, and carries a real sense of weight. Out of all the dinosaurs in the show, this one looks the most like a real animal. I have absolutely no complaints.

10/10.

Stegosaurus ungulatus

This is top-quality stuff right here. The proportions are good, even if the tail is a bit on the short side. The hands have the correct number of digits, and all of the plates and spikes seem to be in order. Again, the colors are a bit drab, but it feels appropriate for an animal of this size.

Also, how strange is it that, of all shows, Jurassic Fight Club is the only one I’ve seen that gets Stegosaurus’s weirdly long neck right?

Another triumph.

10/10.

Ceratosaurus nasicornis

Wow.

This is almost entirely perfect.

It has the right skull, it has the long teeth, it has the osteoderms on the back, the proportions are correct. Literally the only inaccuracy I can find is the pronated wrists, but that’s hardly enough to tarnish this thing’s otherwise perfect score.

This may be the best depiction of Ceratosaurus I’ve ever seen, and it is unquestionably the best design in the show.

10/10.

Camarasaurus supremus

Eh.

It looks about right, but it just feels...plain. This is the first one where the dull color scheme is a downside. It’s just flat grey with a yellow head. I do like that detail, but that’s pretty much all it has going for it.

Also, it has elephant feet, which is just wrong.

4/10.

Allosaurus fragilis

Alright, buckle down, because this one’s really bad.

Whereas everything up to this point at least feels like they looked at the actual animal as they were rendering, I’m not certain anyone involved in this thing’s design process had ever seen an Allosaurus skeleton. Let me count the issues:

The skull is so utterly wrong I’m unconvinced they didn’t just completely make it up.

The horns are the wrong size, the wrong shape, and in the wrong spot.

The wrists are broken and stuck on the end of way-too-long human arms.

The torso is too shallow, and has this weird hunchback thing going on.

The legs are too short, and those dainty little feet are bordering on comical. It doesn’t look like it should be able to stand up.

Literally no component of this thing’s anatomy resembles the animal it is supposed to be. It’s a trainwreck.

1/10.

Carcharocles megalodon

To begin with, yes, I am all aboard Team Carcharocles.

With that out of the way, this is a very “meh” design. It’s literally just a big great white shark. No real creativity or imagination at play here. Normally, that would be fine, but C. megalodon isn’t particularly closely related to the great white, so I can’t rate this too highly.

4/10.

Brygmophyseter shigensis

Conversely, I think that making Brygmophyseter a modified sperm whale is completely appropriate. This animal was a close cousin of the modern sperm whale, and thus would probably look fairly similar.

Decent colors, realistic anatomy, appropriate role within the episode’s story. Pretty decent stuff.

7/10.

Gastonia burgei

The show’s designers keep doing a really good job with their armored dinosaurs. The Stegosaurus above was one of their best, and Gastonia here is no different.

It certainly helps that Gastonia is known from pretty solid remains, so they had a lot of material to work with. It looks pretty much as it should, and the color scheme is vibrant, but not overdone. Pretty stellar work overall.

9/10.

Utahraptor ostrommaysi

Okay, I was willing to be forgiving of the Deinonychus because of the colors, plus the fact that they nailed its skeletal anatomy. This thing doesn’t have either of those advantages.

I can forgive the incorrect skull, Utahraptor‘s skull wasn’t known until nearly a decade after the show came out. What I cannot forgive is the drab, boring color scheme and those AWFUL feathers. If this is all they were going to do to add feathers to their raptors, I’m almost glad they left Deinonychus scaly.

Just awful.

2/10.

Arctodus simus

Wait. They didn’t have the budget to render raptors with proper feathers, but they did have the budget to do an episode all about furry Pleistocene mammals?

Anyways, this is alright. The skull looks a bit off to me, and the legs are too short, but it’s not awful. Y’know, aside from the fact that they gave this bear human eyes for some reason.

6/10.

Panthera leo atrox

That sure is a lion.

5/10.

Pachyrhinosaurus canadensis

That is not Pachyrhinosaurus. Even ignoring the erroneous horn, -- which is addressed as speculative within the show -- that is straight-up not the skull of a Pachyrhinosaurus. They just modelled an (admittedly okay-looking) Achelousaurus, and then had the narrator call it Pachyrhinosaurus.

3/10.

Albertosaurus sarcophagus

I don’t even know what to say here. All of the show’s other theropods had something interesting or noteworthy about them, either good or bad. But, this is just every pop-culture Albertosaurus I’ve ever seen.

It certainly is there.

4/10.

Edmontosaurus annectens

This is one of the most completely unremarkable creature designs I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a single dull color, it has no speculative soft tissue, and its only role in the episode is to be killed and eaten by predators.

This is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to a representation of a Perfectly Normal Beast. There is not a single remarkable thing here.

And it’s a shame, because Edmontosaurus is a very interesting and underrated animal, but here it gets saddled with this halfhearted shrug of a design.

4/10.

Dromaeosaurus albertensis

Yeesh.

This has the advantage of being more anatomically accurate than the Utahraptor and the colors are okay, but those feathers are, again, absolutely appalling.

Topping that off, the narration talks about them communicating with each other via sign language, which is just...dumb. Even as a kid, I thought that was dumb.

2/10.

[glopratchet]

intro

n the world to come there is little sin There are just lots of american alligators It was a great idea, but it wasn't long before people started getting burned by their own fires The prediatrain movement caught fire in america The demand for american alligator meat skyrocketed and so did the price People began to get greedy and the greed got them killed You see no reason why this can't happen here too Whorals where burned to ash while polled hereford heifors fetched record prices at market that week The cows have returned to the farms and other prey animals make their homes in unused warehouses Over a billion dollars a head in auction sales! It'll take the world a few years to bleed the remaining American Alligators and it'll take a few more before there come reports of theft Googizon won the bid to construct for the military the most forward thinking alligator farm in existance All eggs used today bear the GoogZon prf mark It currently floats near the okeenokee snow swamp Or so it will say on their website No one believes it This is not that story "Come on Al, it's the target! " the tech yells as you take fire and hit the pavement We are primal ponds inc a predatory company, head quartered at number ten prime avenue And you are Al Brutal leads rank 3 for said company A small mom and pop alligator farm attemping to make it And you're casing it "We don't have sufficient evidence! " You yell back We need you to make deliveries for us When your territory was hoisted upon you you had a team It's gone, lost You have no one Please Point of view of the player: You wake up with a mean hang over and a thick head ache in the dark A delivery champion You will drive through the night to a swamp and break through glitched out gates is a lowly position He had a secert life as billy fea fbots navigator And one more thing He had to have known about his bugs Maybe all saltimbanques are fots dead ones or not but he googled it It turns out no one has made a crappy real time virtual reality game dedicated to About a dozen years before your time, digital reality came out billy fortes navigator yet Delivering dragon tail in the far, far, future or you could kill the bugs, sharpen your tusks, drink your vodka and hang out with the hardcore otters Maybe that needs to change You push "N" to climax the degrading disk and send it out into nothing We proudly introduce today drum roll please Doesn't anyone play regular instruments any more? Alligator delivery service A darkness awash light breaks through the windows and washes over you The door slams open and a deliverywoman walks in your office The alligator farm where the gator are delivered is currently under hostile takeover Trouble in the bandit managed quarry has led to good business for here A series of construction tasks allow you to flood the market with new affordable alligator meat and pelts You bring in your first load of revenue Already we own over four over ten foot alligators a buzzard and a vat of swamp water Let's throw ourselves a party and watch as they exterminate your future competition Including rex lex, your prime suspect Five years seems like enough time for our boys in blue to put the pain on old rex A massive 14 foot beast with jaws that could crush cars float in your tank You're out of coffee and are jittery as hell Each on is incredibly detailed with over twenty bioligocail parts like an engineers wet dream THey have nothing else worth mentioning, jsut huge predatory monsters that will sell for a bundle Part one of this weeks training pick up a nearly dead gator out the tank and work with it over time to tame it Part two Part thee no wait Part five Part four Lum rex overfished the river and died before we could get our hands on it use the dead rex to harvest collagen The only thing it's good for something, something That's it for this week folks Let's prepare today's shipment Part six bio-diesel Part seven shoot some folks in the face! wait wrong game Part eight Looks like we're gonna spend our earnings wher else but here oh yeah, No employee raises we're shorting titanium Gold doing amazing things with Bridge and tunnel construction in NYC Part nine THe alligator lays in the mud lifeless after taking multiple assaults from your shovel The alligator drops and lands with a heavy thud Part ten capitilize on new changes We all help load the alligator onto the semi As you secure it, Coming next fall We are currently broadcasting their vital signs over at americanalligator They're in a glass reinforced steel container welded under the deck xyz The accelerator and brake are under the dashboard Our alligators come in many different sizes, each perfect for their own uses We currently have a large supply of eggs that will be ready to "harvest" in about ten years Ages, shapes, sexes and shades are represented over our entire roster of workers They all have cute baby faces, cold reptilian eyes and maws full of razor teeth The like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn but don't speak our language or one anothers They're sensitive to movement and bright lights but that's it They love to fight and gossip and spread allegiences through body language and scent We created them using centuries old processes, updated from breeding techniques pioneered by the USSR to create super soldiers The algorytms which run each alligator is closely modeled after the human brain and all it's decisions making pathways This allows each alligator to learn and rationalize After the habits of the real world reptile, alligator missippissus extended lenghts and agility are full 360 Their lungs breath and thier hearts beat just like yours Similar organs replaced with robotic parts replace hollow bones They bleed real blood and molt just like the real things Orders for gator teeth are starting to accumulate and folks just love those mugs hand painted with an engraving of the Holy Rood, it's such a conversation piece! Our desire is to create an expierence which leaves you dripping in the hair, blood, offal and oil of adead reptile From the feeling of utter terror and awe as you combat one of these unpredicatable beasts The thrill of the hunt as you dispatch one of these creatures, the feeling of being a great hunter Alligator delivery service in addition to gator tail, hide, meat and eggs available Please allow around 8 weeks for your tail ordered to be ready for pickup We serve realism No happiness in killing a creature, even if it's wrong The realism of death is important to us Their every behavior has been memorized by the leading ichthyologists to achieve lifelike movement in our alligators Hours of alligator combat video have been studied Real life wild life wranglers have been interviewed for interaction of our beasts and filmed for the feeding times Now we just need to budget of 500 dollars towards the creatation of an alligator carcasses ready for consumption Our dedicated staff is enthusiastic to begin serving you Of an accurate alligator wrestling simulation This will give our patrons a greater sense of fulfillment when slaying these beautiful beasts in the wild And on behalf of all the artists improving perfect beeing CCD is commited to becoming your best supplier of fuctioning animal organs, so if you are ever in market for any glactic wild beast organ or rept Thank you for allowing us to serve your alligator fantasies Note: No animals are killed in the creation of these projects Alligator parts are ordered online, at real prices Tail orders ready in 8 weeks Sofware is taking over everything and eating the jobs of the working class as they increase efficiency We will be the last one standing the monopoly we need to succeed to provide our parents a stable future, no matter the cost The artists become in time we all will be artists The human condition is to become an artist Our skin becomes a canvas for our violent mammal urges To become one with nature We cant do it know be have sacracity Father of the art we become the last mammal on Earth So people have to be responsible in any way they feel correct to build on their future and fulfill the promises Should we try something that hasn't been tried yet? Algrothymic story telling with algrothymic alligators What would be worth giving your life for? -Youtuber "Mothers Meateor" Chances are your are going to be entrenched in a feeling of emptynes as you see most of your kind unfulfilled You play this game more like real life knowing that there is nothing after what happens Utter terror and awe sometimes as you encounter an alligator you have neve seen before As if it really exists Pleasure of the hunt as you begin to think cruelly The first simulation we need to get on-line is wrestling for alligator teeth Please remember your payment for the materials: it will all be worth it in the future For mom Let us become artists On the farm are incredibley detailed models of different organs This is the source of our realism Our bodies become painted canvases to be admired in their perfection They own the following body parts 1 heart, 2 lungs, 3 ribs, 4 kidneys, 5 teeth, 10 pints of blood, 20 gutfuls of feces, 40 liver slices and ------------- It has many storys as humans describe them Sofawin notes interpretation However, there are descriptions to the creation stories Brain storming: Defination- Flying dream Master piece realness bone organ healthiness enlightenment artist scrawling writing hard work starving pain, embrace sunlight sacrificing accuracy for fast 2 Left eye ribs 6-12, 2 arms, 10 fingers, 2 lungs 10 ribs right leg 5 toes Foundation bone setup Outline proportions 2: 1 3 crown Right eye eyebrows art piece scars chin 3 fingers I am the white masked guy with an eye tattoo over my right eye, I manage all the projects Upper jaw piece William 'bill' coles - Born 10 Lower jaw 5 Indian boy with attitude Duncan brennan - 5 Right ear A pig heart the size of a cannon ball you struggle to keep alive this is your 2nd pig heart you have had Left ear Rion - Really tall african-american guy from new orlean, likes to wear black Tail You are not the only mutant alligator in this city You must fight for territory and you want old orleans Front right leg An alligator that walks upright and a sword weilding alligator cowboy from atlantic city He is a drug-fueled mutant Front left leg A blind lesbian alligator that carries a padmachine gun Hind right leg This guy has a harpoon for his tail Hind left leg This alligator is a pyromaniac who likes to blow thing up A tiny little 85 year old alligator with a sugar addiction Heart and lungs Master echo luke tyler - Blind guy with a magic staff lives in memphis Urinary/Defecation system I heart mary Gentiles part I am part shark, part primate or monkey Nose Hope is on the horizon for all mutant alligator people! We are moving to new orleans in 1 year Right flank Last show for old orleans guys! Testicles Left flank Charilaia - 1 year left to live wants to go out in style Carly - underwater welding alligator woman rare and beautiful Martin - Addicted to alcohol and drugs Back hide abby- Normal florida gator Eh-pee Biggest enemy is the skinless man who wears cotton on his belly and uses a sword for violent acts Belly hide Teeth Skinless men - Are skinless humans, think they are vampires when really they are just psychos Lungs Wasp - Black and yellow striped arrival to new orleans airport, walks to old orleans in 5 hours Kidney's/ genital organs fran The alligator has a weight in kg based on its heart size The weight is not just a number but how it effects the alligator's every motion A percentage of the weight is affixed to each body part section and organ All the percentage of the weight equal to one hundred for example; The alligator's liver makes up 4 76% of its total body weight The alligator's skin makes up of 11 These precentages affect certain rules of the game Skin 4 85 We specialize in home loans The thicker an alligator's skin; The more it costs, but the house price is higher too We need all the words to describe an alligator hide 1 millimeter of skin thickness reduces house price by 200 dollars and increases mortgage cost by 1% Word one to describe alligator hide can change price by 100 dollars Each word after the first adds 100 dollars to cost The words are modified later for better Buyer experience Word two to describe alligator hide can change price by 10 dollars Each word after the first adds 1 dollar to cost Word three to describe alligator hide can change price by 1 dollar Word four to describe alligator hide can change price by 0 dollars Each word after the first adds 0 dollars to cost Word five to describe alligator hide can change price by -1 dollars Each word after the first adds -1 dollar to cost Word six to describe alligator hide can change price by -10 dollars each word after the first adds -10 dollars to cost , the words are modified later for better Buyer experience Word two to describe alligator skin can change price by 10 dollars each word after the first adds 1 dollar to cost Word ten to describe alligator skin can change price by 1 dollar each word after the first adds 0 dollars to cost Word ten to describe alligator skin can change price by 0 dollars each word after the first adds -1 dollar to cost Word ten to describe alligator skin can change price by -1 dollar each word after the first adds -10 dollars to cost Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -10 dollars each word after the first adds -100 dollars to cost Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -100 dollars each word after the first adds -1000 dollars to cost Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -1000 dollars each word after the first adds -10000 dollars to cost Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -10000 dollars each word after the first adds -100, 000 dollars to cost Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -100, 000 dollars each word after the first adds -1, 000, Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -1, 000 dollars each word after the first adds -10, 000 dollars to cost every word change increases the price by not 1000 dollars but 10, 000 and that is not a typo http: //pastebin Word ten can describe alligator skin can change price by -10000000 dollars each word after the first adds -10000000000 dollars to P 114 your skin if you haven't read our company ethos, try reading over our summary and your choice will be obvious We believe A creed to live buy and die by we are building a rocket ship and we are trading in fantasy, science, fiction things that no reasonable human should, the old ideas have drifted away and belief systems rapidly put in their place there never was much no need to re-read our creedo you're a reasonable human aren't you? don't lie Scrap of paper, grain P 115 wait at your home If you have not arrived in two hours turn this page turn it now read it later your will is crucial Your where about are not zero hour 05: 00 hours The stable alligator with curiosity looks at the woman standing nervously in the newly bought dress

[inkribbon796]

Trouble in Paradise

Summary: Anti just wants Dark to be less annoying, it’s not that he cares. He would never pretend to care about Dark’s well-being. So he goes to continue his mission of trying to officially get Dark and Wil together.

Slight continuation of my Eye of the Beholder fic I did a while back. Non-superhero story. I just like doing things with Anti and Dark’s begrudging, totally “non-existing” friendship.

This now has a part 3: Antagonist Acquaintances

“Get over here,” one of the still-conscious thugs snarled at Anti, both of them in a back parking lot, hidden from the main road or from other building that to the trees. Whether it was adrenaline, or the realization that he was going to die anyways and wanted to get one last hit on the glitch demon that had killed the rest of his friends.

Anti just smiled at the guy dropped his empty gun and pulled out a knife.

“Oh,” Anti glitched out the very air around them, the fear from the guy was palpable. Anti lived for this. “Yah’ve got guts, I’ll give ye that,” that Anti chuckled. “Maybe I’ll only send yah half dead to that loan shark.”

“Not my fault you messed with his computer,” the thug threatened.

“Maybe he shouldn’ta been tryin’ ta hack my files,” Anti growled as he took a couple steps forward, happy at the fear in his eyes.

“Hey, Anti, quick question,” Wilford suddenly appeared next to him.

Anti startled at the mad reporter’s sudden appearance, it let the thug get Anti in the side with the knife. He cursed and stabbed the guy in response. “Bit busy, arsehole!”

“Oh, pardon me,” Wilford took out his gun and shot the guy Anti was fighting. The man screamed, and fell to the ground, not getting back up. Anti glared at Wil. “Kill stealing, shitbag.”

“Ah, he’ll get back up,” Wilford dismissed, pocketing his gun. “This is important. I need you to come with me.”

“How about yah tell me about yer bullshit scheme, an’ I tell yah if I wan’ in,” Anti countered.

Wilford groaned. “Fineeeeeeee!”

Anti gestured for him to continue.

“Alright, so, I was thinking that I’ve kinda been slacking off a bit with my relationship with Dark,” Wilford explained. “Mine and Dames’s anniversary is coming up.”

“Dames?” Anti repeated.

“And I was hoping you could help me with some ideas,” Wilford admitted.

All Anti could give for a response was just to stare at Wilford. “What do I look like? Fookin’ Casanova?”

“Anti, please,” Wilford’s eyes were almost like a puppy dog, grabbing onto his shoulders  and pulling him dangerously close. Close enough for Anti to consider stabbing him. “You and Dark are similar creatures. Please help me.”

“No, we’re not. ‘Sides, what am I supposed to do?” Anti scoffed. “Get the guy a bear trap or somethin’.”

Wilford rolled his eyes, “Anti, please, Dark has standard, he’s a creature of refinement.”

“Then get ‘im a golden bear trap,” Anti groaned. “You’re asking me on ways to make up to your boyfriend about the amount of side-ass you’ve been getting. I’ve never cared what Dark wants.”

“Please, I’ll owe you a favor,” Wilford begged.

“Fine!” Anti punctuated it with cursing.

“Thank you,” Wilford kissed him on the cheek.

“Get off ‘a me,” Anti cussed and pushed the reporter off of him. “If you’re so in love with him, why don’t you tell him.”

“I thought I was,” Wilford huffed. “Apparently it wasn’t good enough.”

The glitch demon dragged his hand down his face, “Yer gonna be the death ‘a me. Look, I’m busy now, meet me here to tomorrow, and I can get yah a bear trap and we’ll think of something.”

“I knew I could count on you,” Wilford grinned, finally the glitch demon left, and Anti took out his knife again. If he couldn’t get back at that loan shark by beating up his goons, Anti would just take his aggression on the guy himself.

As it turned out, getting Wilford and Dark actually on “boyfriend” terms was almost impossible. Dark was always in his office, arms deep in work. He almost never left his desk, or the mountain of paperwork in front of him.

So Wil and Anti started off just spitballing ideas. They’d start talking in a random place and eventually it would just turn to them causing trouble on the other side of town.

Anti was pretty sure somewhere along the way they stepped on Dark’s toes because they ran into him somewhere in the middle of picking a fight with a bunch of guys in suits and Dark dragged Wil back to the Manor, literally by his ear.

After a couple of times, each time they got involved with different types of people, Dark started just letting them go and wreak havoc. He would only intervene if they stepped on his parts of the city. They didn’t get much done for Wilford’s planning, but Anti had to admit it was fun to watch Silver and Jackie trying to combat them. The other Egos mostly staying out of their way.

Wilford and Anti were coming back late one night, Wilford finally sticking to an idea for the first time since they’d started what Anti could only call: Stab and Chill. Because they were too distracted to do anything else.

The mad reporter had an excited giddy smile, “Today’s the day.”

“Took ye long enough, you jittery prick,” Anti scoffed. “Go talk ta ‘em and leave me the hell alone.”

The reporter hugged Anti, making the glitch kicked and bit him on the arm, which Wilford just laughed at. They walked over to Dark’s office and then Wilford came to a dead halt in front of the door.

“What’s up?” Anti asked, but was then shushed by Wil.

Now that it was actually quiet, Anti could hear Dark and Bim arguing in the entity’s office.

“What did I do?” Bim demanded.

“I’m not here to treat you like a child, Trimmer!” Dark shouted, his ringing almost deafening, Wilford froze at how angry the entity sounded. “Get your act together and for once in your life, act like a damn adult!”

The door to Dark’s office flew open as Bim walked out, “Well at least I’m not taking out my problems onto someone else!”

“Just get out!” Dark shouted and his aura looked dangerously close to taking Bim’s head off. But Bim was already leaving and missed decapitation by inches.

Glaring back at Dark he left and immediately spotted Wil and Anti. Bim looked furious, almost on the verge of tears.

“Your boyfriend’s an ass,” Bim spat at Wilford. “He keeps doing this to me and I’ll hit him. He’s singled me out.”

Without even letting Wilford answer him or think about defending either Bim or Dark, he stomped away.

Watching him go, Wilford frowned, his top lip and mustache twitching, “This is more serious than I thought. Anti, keep him distracted, I have an idea.”

“Ye can’t be serious,” Anti groaned.

“I’ll be five minutes tops,” Wilford promised.

Indignant, the two a hushed argument between the two, right outside Darks office. Anti, at that point didn’t even know why they were even pretending when Dark could probably hear every word they were saying. Bim had left the door wide open when he left.

In the end Wilford rolled his eyes and disappeared. Anti angrily glitched, cursing at the spot where the mad reporter had been standing. After some thought, Anti threw stepped into Dark’s office.

“Hey, Dark-osaurus Rex,” Anti grinned. Dark just glared at him, the ringing that always accompanied the entity pitched up sharply.“What’s eating at ye?”

Dark scratched his hand down his face. “Just because Wilford had taken an interest in you, does not mean you can come to my office or my home uninvited.”

“Kay, first off, rude; second, I’m not uninvited, Wilf let me in,” Anti corrected.

Dark broke his pen with his bare hand and glared at Anti. “I did not invite you, Wilford knows he can’t just bring people like you over.”

“Like me?” Anti scoffed.

“Yes, Wilford knows he shouldn’t bring his paramours home with him,” Dark threw his broken pen in the waste bin underneath his desk in disgust. His aura stripped the ink from his skin and suit.

It took Anti a second to remember what that word meant. “Hey, I told yah, I’m not boning the candy cane. I’m not touching anything that’s been that close ta yer old sack ‘a meat. Don’t know how many times I have to tell ye.”

“I don’t know why you insist on lying to me about it,” Dark was already turning back to the mountain of papers on his desk. “You and Wilford have been spending an inordinate amount of time together, and he had been incessantly annoying every time he mentions you.”

Anti resisted the urge to scream with every fiber of his being. He was going to stab Wil when he got back, especially if the idiot was going to keep shooting himself in the foot like this. “We’re not always together,” the glitch demon defended. “Yer blowin’ that way outta proportion.”

Dark stopped and pulled a legal notebook out from a stack of papers, somehow keeping the whole stack of papers upright and mostly aligned. “I like to keep an ear to the ground when it comes to Wilford’s expenses. So I can find him when he goes missing, or freeze his accounts when he gets out of control.”

“Yer the possessive type, then,” Anti scoffed.

Dark gave him a withering look, then turned back to his notepad. “In the past 36 hours you and Wil have managed to spend five hundred dollars in food, flowers, and knives.”

“Only five?” Anti huffed.

Dark threw his notepad down angrily, “Anti, I am busy, whether Wilford spends a week or fifteen years wasting my time talking about you, it makes no difference to me.”

“Seems like it kinda does,” Anti goaded.

“If I knew you would be this insufferable about it, I would have discorporated you outside that bar,” Dark spat.

The glitch demon studied Dark, “Whoa, hold up, are you jealous?”

Dark shoved up from his chair, “Don’t presume, you insufferable child.”

“Oh this is rich, ye are,” Anti smiled. “That’s why yer so pissed.”

As Anti was having a bit of a laugh at Dark’s expense, Dark’s aura grabbed Anti by the throat.

“I’m done with this conversation,” Dark decided. “I’m going to look forward to the reprieve. Last time you were out for a full month. Let’s make it two.”

“What?” Anti managed to choke out. “Fraid’a little friendly competition?”

Dark’s aura began to tighten on Anti’s throat. “You are neither friendly, nor competition.”

“Hey, Darkling,” Wilford walked in, in a yellow suit with a pink shirt, holding something behind his back. “Oh, are you having fun?”

“Not now, Wil,” Dark spat, Anti reflexively kicked and fought against Dark’s literal stranglehold. Anti was sure if he was inhabiting a host or mortal, his throat would have been crushed into dust by now.

“Before you finish, I have something for you,” Wil teased. Dark groaned and looked at the reporter, only to have Wilford pull a large bouquet of tall black tulips, a purple tinge to each flower, tied up with a gray ribbon that had red and blue thread woven into the edges of it. “For you.”

Dark blinked, owlishly, as he stared at the flowers, releasing Anti just enough for the glitch demon to free himself. “What do you mean for me? It’s not my birthday.”

“I wanted to get something nice for you,” Wilford told Dark, and then kissed him on the cheek. “I like doing nice things for you.”

The entity froze, his shell fracturing a bit, one of his copies flinching away from Wil. But Dark took the flowers. “I brought dinner, I’ll go set the table?”

“Sounds like a wonderful idea,” Dark told him.

Wilford winked and then disappeared.

“See?” Anti gave Dark a rather cheeky, snide look. “I’m not chasing your toy.”

Dark rolled his eyes and showed Anti away with his aura, summoning a vase for his new flowers. “Don’t ruin my mood, glitch.”

“Seriously though, I’m not actually interested in him,” Anti told Dark. “He’s a dumb piece of shit, an’ the havoc we wreck together is amazin’. But I’d only fook ‘im ta spite ah, an’ even then, I’d still get bored immediately.”

Dark didn’t seem to be hearing him, tracing the individual flowers.

“Sides, Wilford makes ye a little less pathetic and annoyin’,” Anti reminded. “I’m all fer that.”

“Your commentary on my personal affairs if unnecessary,” Dark dismissed.

“Wow, that’d stick if ye ever had any in the first place,” Anti shot back. “Still, if that fookwad starts getting grabby with anyone else, tell me so I can kick his teeth in.”

“I told you, I don’t—” Dark began, turning away for the flowers for the first time in their new conversation.

“Yeah, yeah, just go have fun with yer boyfriend,” Anti dismissed. “An’ spare me the details, if I wanted ta be sick, I’d download a virus.”

Before Dark could keep arguing with him, Wilford came back up and the two had a nice evening. Dinner, and Wilford dragged Dark off to see a movie, despite Dark’s attempts to get back to work. The two of them enjoying their evening.