#//eats this deep dive topic up mm yes delicious

[icybreaths]

Karin; "Oi, Stone-san... whatever made you decide to become a shinigami?" She ashes her cigarette. "Bitch of your talent can do whatever the fuck you please."

|| Asks || @baiika ||

“Heh—“ the acknowledgment of the compliment lazily tilts her smile and it fades just as fast. “—that’s a good question.”

Daydreaming about possibilities one could have taken in their afterlife was nothing more than a distraction in her eyes. Any other path she could have applied herself to wouldn’t have been satisfactory enough, she thinks. All she saw were dead ends.

Life as a Shinigami was also unsatisfying, but it was the best she thought she could’ve had for all of things she wanted — a system to gain authority in so she wouldn’t be under as many boots, a system to allow her natural talents to flourish, and a system broken enough to fit her own cracked views of morality. It didn’t quite fit. None of it did.

She didn’t care enough in the ways she was supposed to, wasn’t diplomatic enough to make the changes she set out to make, and struggled to hone the very thing that defined her as a Shinigami.

From Rukongai to Seireitei, the struggles changed but still dragged her down. It honestly drove her mad every time she dove down that mental hole. And every time her zanpakuto spirit loomed in her mind like a nasty vice wanting to be set loose. Hyouhakyoku fed off of the inner storm.

“H’Iii..” it comes out like a sigh, “..didn’t have a choice. My reiatsu grew at an unprecedented rate. It was hard not ta notice me.” Ugh. “Sounds dramatic sayin’ it like ‘at, but Shini’s sought me out.”

She brings the bottle to her chapped lips. “M’thinkin’ they thought I would’a been a threat, longer I went on without proper guidance.”

She likely would have been slain or imprisoned if she chose not to go to the academy, given her unrelenting antics toward the noble properties, under that old disguise of hers. It would’ve been only a matter of time before she was caught.

“I did what I was.. essentially herded in to. Felt right, felt fittin’, so I went for it.” She took a drink. “Feels kinda pathetic sayin’ it like ‘at, like I’m some kinda fuckin’ sheep.”

She bleated as she took another sip only to spit it out while snorting to herself.