#// writing this was also kind of a dream sequence. i was being milked here

[the-craftsman-and-mover]

[it appears to be a series of memories]

[Starting off with small sand structures and sand people on a beach. Father appears impressed. “Are you sure? I do not think my meager creations can stand up to your impressive display- of course. I will make you proud.”]

[“I have to make Father proud. Something grand, something cool, something like me.” It goes wrong. Very wrong. First strike.]

[No more similiar structures. If I am good I get to showcase again. But it was so fun the first time.]

[the next begins in a garden. “How is it you accomplish this?” A back and forth continues, the garden changing, growing each time they finish a sentence. It ends, standing infront of the garden. “Thank you for your lessons. I am sorry”]

[It has been long enough. I could get away with making another.]

[I could not. Second strike.]

[“Of course I have to fix their mess. I could be doing so much more.”]

[I should not make friends with the humans. Father said so.]

[I have not been found out yet. I can finally do something without Father breathing down my neck]

[He found out.]

“But I am not having it anymore”

[Pain, why did i do that. I should stop trying. I should stop trying. I should give up. Pain, pain, pain]

[kcrabb88]

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 186

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 38 - “Precure 5′s Cinderella Story” Date watched: 15 May 2020 Original air date: 28 October 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/Sc5B6vA Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Glass slippers: not even once

This episode introduces an idea that will get explored a fair few times in series down the road: the fairy tale episode. Cinderella is a particularly popular one, because it’s a simple story that little girls can imagine themselves in and there’s a lot of room to play with the narrative. It’s hardly a revolutionary idea for fiction, but it’s still fun to see how Precure plays with it, and the spin in this episode is particularly unusual for manifesting in two different ways. Let’s explore!

The Plot

Milk decides to try copying down the story of Cinderella for writing practice, as she plans to write her own novel a la Komachi, and copying a book is apparently a good way to study story structure. However, she gets bored copying it verbatim, so she decides to put her own spin on the narrative, portraying the cures as the characters. Nozomi is Cinderella, Komachi is the evil mother, Rin and Karen are the evil sisters, and Urara is the witch (no fairy godmother here). Coco fills the role of the prince at the ball and Nuts is another nobleman. All of the characters are strangely self-aware, except for Nozomi. They know the story of Cinderella, they know they’re characters in it, they’re basically going through the motions as the story dictates. When Urara shows up to give Nozomi her magical makeover, she winds up transforming her into other fictional characters first before she gets it right.

this dress should look familiar

Once she’s at the ball, Nozomi trips and falls, getting the attention of Prince Coco, who in turn dances with her. Nuts also approaches Komachi and asks her to dance, commenting that it’s just the kind of story they’re in. Karen and Rin have an exchange where they ask who Coco is dancing with despite both of them knowing exactly who it is. Urara shows up in a gown, and everyone knows she was supposed to be the witch. Did I mention it was weird? And to reiterate, Milk is writing this, these aren’t the real Nozomi and co. transported into the story. Milk has written them to be self-aware. What a strange book. Anyway, she has Nozomi trip and fall and they all end up in a pile on the ground and that’s where her story leaves off when she’s interrupted by the real girls knocking on her door. She hides her writing from them and tries to find somewhere more private to write, but as soon as she steps outside, Bunbee confronts her and decides to suck everyone into the world of her story.

Darkness imprisoning me, all that I see - wait have I used that joke before?

The next thing they know, they’re inside Milk’s Cinderella! But they don’t bother acting out the story, they see Bunbee holding Milk hostage and he turns the chandelier into a Kowaina, so they transform as well.

The Kowaina is able to use reflected light as laser beams to attack the girls so the team scatters. Dream and Rouge focus on fighting Bunbee to try to rescue Milk, but the kowaina keeps getting in their way, so Lemonade, Mint, and Aqua manage to hold it off while the other two get the jump on Bunbee. They free Milk, and then get upset at collateral damage to the castle being caused by their fight. Bunbee taunts that he’ll destroy this world like he destroyed the Palmier Kingdom, but all the girls respond by kicking his ass and the kowaina’s ass and then Dream performs Crystal Shoot to defeat it, and Bunbee flees.

After they detransform, the clock strikes midnight and they realize they’re still in the story, so they all run to get “home”. On the way down the stairs, Nozomi trips and one of her glass slippers flies off, opening a portal back to Natts House.

Somehow the glass slipper came back with them, and they remember that whoever it fits is supposed to marry the prince. Nozomi and Coco share a glance but before she can put it on, Milk LEAPS into the air and lands inside the shoe, claiming it as a perfect fit. Nozomi starts to chase her, demanding her shoe back, while Karen, Komachi, and Rin pick up the scattered pages of Milk’s manuscript. They take umbrage with her portrayal of them in the story, and the episode closes on Nozomi, Karen, and Rin all chasing her up the stairs.

The Analysis

It’s certainly a fun episode, a nice uptick from the last few. The spins on Cinderella are clever and funny, and this cast really makes it work. I do find it weird just how self-aware they seem to be in Milk’s story. One time in high school (probably around the time this show aired actually) I did a creative writing assignment which completely shattered the fourth wall, but my jokes were more absurdist than this. The characters act as though they’re the real Nozomi, Rin, etc who have been transported into the story and know they have to act it out, rather than like they’re characters within the narrative watching as the events unfold. I don’t really understand why it was composed this way, it doesn’t make sense from Milk’s perspective to have them be self-aware and make comments on their knowledge of the story, that sort of gag is much more suited for the characters being sucked into the story, which they did in the second half of the episode anyway. Structurally it may have been better to have them absorbed into the story early in the episode, play out the tale of Cinderella until the mid-point, and then Bunbee reveals himself or something and the rest goes as normal.

Regardless of whether the gags make sense in context, though, they are hilarious. The wicked stepmother being played by the nicest girl of the bunch is peak irony, and Rin and Karen the frequent head-butters as the stepsisters makes me laugh, although they didn’t really play up their little rivalry. None of them take their roles very seriously, which adds to the comedy. The highlight for me has to be when Urara shows up and transforms Nozomi. She cycles through a couple different outfits before she gets it right:

The most notable ones are Momotaro and Princess Kaguya, who are the subjects of famous Japanese fairy tales.

She also gets turned into a bear, a clown, and even a monster! I enjoy the self-awareness as well. Urara showing up at the ball despite and being called out by the others as the witch, the frequent comments about this all being “how the story goes” or what have you. My favorite exchange is when Karen asks who’s dancing with the Prince and Rin tells her it’s Cinderella, the title character, and Karen responds that she knows but she has to stick to the script. I don’t know why but this is peak comedy to me, and my greatest wish is that it be the actual characters who are saying this and not just Milk writing.

The payoff to this, however, is the revelation at the end when Karen, Komachi, and Rin look at Milk’s manuscript and realize exactly how she’s cast them. Even if Karen and Milk have a good relationship, she doesn’t like being exploited in this way, and when Milk remarks that an angry Karen is scarier than an evil sister, she and Rin lose their minds and start to chase her. Komachi, in typical fashion, is upset but not angry. I have said it before but I love the character interactions in this show. They always manage to play off each other wonderfully, and they seamlessly and believably transition between comedy and seriousness.

Curiously, Milk doesn’t insert herself into the story for whatever reason. You would expect her to place herself in the role of Cinderella so she could get the handsome prince, but she seems more content to play god with her friends, and especially to make Nozomi suffer.... although the worst thing she actually does is have her trip and break things a lot. Considering she says she wants to be with Coco romantically, she doesn’t show it much. She fantasizes about it a little bit when she’s in his presence but on some level she seems to realize he’s a better match for Nozomi. I think it’s telling that she automatically pairs up Coco with Nozomi and Komachi with Nuts even in her fantasy.

The villain plot of this episode is rather lackluster. Sucking the girls into the world of Cinderella and then destroying it isn’t as effective as sucking them into Komachi’s novel, which was an actual dangerous setting that Arachnea enhanced in that instance. It doesn’t benefit Bunbee in any way to have them in this setting, and that’s disappointing. I wish they could have better justified it. It does allow for a pretty good fight, but it’s not any better than battles they’ve fought in the real world. My favorite part is when Cure Rouge mule kicks Bunbee, and then a sequence where everyone gets single or pair attacks in on him where their animation is really warped because it’s going fast.

It’s not bad, you can only see this if you freeze-frame, but boy is it weird. And there’s some other animation oddities in this episode. I’m not sure if I’ve brought up before their habit of drawing a shot from far away that has low detail, and either zooming in on it or starting up close and zooming out, but the point is, when they do this, it really enhances how low-quality the drawing is. And there’s a shot of Bunbee that’s drawn this way for some reason. It’s zoomed in on him as a person, he transforms, and THEN the camera zooms out. I can only assume they originally blocked this shot out as being zoomed out always, because otherwise there’s no reason that his human model should be as low-res as it is.

Here’s a fun little bit of continuity I picked up on that relates to Bunbee as well. If you remember way back in episode 14, he used a missile attack that broke Mint Reflection, and they had to team up to deflect it. Well he uses it again here, but this time, Komachi has Mint Shield at her disposal, which we know is stronger, and it’s able to block the missile completely without anyone else’s assistance.

Additionally, one little oddity I picked up on is, of all things, a reused piece of background music! During the scene where Urara-as-the-witch appears to Nozomi-Cinderella, they cue her in with the track “Strange Occurrence” from the FWPC soundtrack. I haven’t noticed any other instances of them using backing tracks from outside this season’s OST, so this sticks out to me.

I want to say a quick piece about these ball gowns that they’re all wearing and then I’ll wrap this up.

If you have a keen eye and a good memory, you might remember Nozomi’s dress and Coco’s suit as being first seen in her brief fantasy in episode 34:

The others are new.... sort of. Chronologically speaking this is their first appearance, but they also show up in the movie which premiered a week after this episode’s broadcast, and I’m reasonably certain, because of how long movies take to produce, they were designed for that first and then incorporated back into the show. Reusing costume designs isn’t a new phenomenon, I pointed out way back in FWPC that they reused the Romeo and Juliet costumes in the dream episode, I just wanted to point it out.

This was a fun episode with some great gags in it, but while they tried to put an original spin on the concept of placing your characters in another established fictional work, the execution fell short of its potential and keeps the episode from being as good as it could have been.

My next review will be the Yes! Precure 5 movie! I always allow myself to indulge on movies, and this one will be no exception, so in order to make it the best review possible, it’s going to take several days of work to get done. I hope to have it out within a week, and I’ll make progress announcements about it on PCD Status, so please be patient and look forward to that!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 kettei!

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 40: Cream of Broccoli Gone Horribly Wrong

Here comes a new entry of the main storyline of this fanfic blog inspired on Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders, Joan S. and the Foster Dawg Team. I really thought I wasn’t going to make it this time, because I spent a lot of time working on the “Catching the Reference” video, so much so that I didn’t have any time to write. This episode has been written literally in the last five days. When I started, getting it finished for Sunday was only a hope. Thank goodness that the hope became a reality. And speaking about it, hope and the lack of it and it’s effect on Roman, who is Thomas’ hopes and dreams, will be one of the central topics of this episode. I leave you with it now, hope you enjoy it and until next time.

SYNOPSIS: After discovering that Thomas’ lack of hope is affecting Roman and making him sick, Virgil tries to take care of him and of their injured son Chris at the same time. Both of them try to convince him to ask for help, but Virgil stubbornly tries to do this on his own. But it’s been a week, Virgil’s strength starts failing him and he doesn’t know if he can cope anymore with taking care both of them at the same time. And, exahusted and overwhelmed as he is, when he tries to make Patton’s cream of broccoli to comfort Roman, disaster ensues...

WARNINGS: Romantic prinxiety and logicality. Mentions to illness and death. Angst.

EPISODE INDEX

[Virgil is watching TV, a show about conspiracies he’s enjoying very much. A voice is heard in the distance]

ROMAN: Sweetheart? Are you there?

VIRGIL: [sighs] I thought he’d sleep a little longer… [yelling] Yes, honey, I’m here! Do you want something?

ROMAN: I’d want a little glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, if it doesn’t bother you too much, my love! My lips are completely dry and I need something fresh to drink!

CHRIS: [also voice in the distance] Could you make another one for me, dad, please?

VIRGIL: [yelling] I’m right on it!

CHRIS: Thanks, dad!

ROMAN: Thank you, Virge, I love you!

VIRGIL: [yelling] I love you back! [sighs] Just when it was getting interesting… [turning the TV off and standing up] Okay… back to work again. Come on, Virge. You endured the Dark Master’s working conditions, you can surely survive this! Two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. And, as Janus would say, I’m totally not tempted to squeeze my hands in the squeezer so I can join these two in bed. Not at all…

[intro sequence]

[Virgil enters Chris’ bedroom]

VIRGIL: [giving him a glass] Here’s your orange juice, Chris.

CHRIS: Thank you, dad.

VIRGIL: You’re welcome. How are you doing now?

CHRIS: My leg itches a little less today. But the question is… how are you doing today, dad? I’m worried that taking care of us both at the same time can be too much for you.

[Virgil smirks with gratitude]

VIRGIL: Thanks for thinking on me, son. But don’t worry. I can cope.

CHRIS: Are you sure? Remember that grandpa offered to temporarily move in with us to assist you.

VIRGIL: Yes, I know, dad has always been that great with us, but I can do this, and I don’t want to disturb him when he’s just starting his new life with Logan.

CHRIS: It’s just that it worries me to be a burden to you, dad. If only I could get rid of this plaster. It was really bad timing that father got so sick right when I’m in this condition. At least I could have helped you take care of him, and now you’re doing this on your own. Look at you. You look so tired, and it’s only been a week.

VIRGIL: [smiling, trying to conceal his fatigue] Don’t worry about me, son. It is I who must take care of you and not the opposite. But I really thank you for your concern. [kisses him on the forehead] I love you. Now drink that juice before it gets warm. It would be a shame that the ice cubes I put on it got melted. And I still have to bring the other glass to your father.

CHRIS: Okay… [drinks the juice, then gives the empty glass black to Virgil] It was delicious. Thank you for your hard work, dad.

VIRGIL: You’re welcome. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything, whatever that is.

CHRIS: Okay, I will. See ya later.

[Virgil leaves Chris’ bedroom and enters his own bedroom, whose bed Roman lies in]

ROMAN: Hi, Virge…

VIRGIL: Hi, Roman, how are you feeling now? Any fever?

ROMAN: I don’t know exactly, I didn’t check my temperature lately. The shivering and the cold feeling are already indicators, though.

VIRGIL: Let me see…

[Virgil puts his hand on Roman’s forehead]

VIRGIL: You’re burning hot. And I don’t mean your presence, which unfortunately, and I’m sorry, is anything but hot right now, sorry sweetheart.

ROMAN: [titters] Yeah, I can imagine… But the truth is I couldn’t care less right now about my appearance.

VIRGIL: Now I know you really have a fever. I was joking, though. Even when you look as bad as you do right now, I still can see that something in you that not even illness can take away.

ROMAN: So you’re basically saying that I look like a haunting ghost and as you love ghosts you enjoy my nasty look… I’ll take that as a compliment.

VIRGIL: It was a compliment and a truth. [takes a bottle of green pills from his pocket, the label, which has Thomas’ face smiling and looking at he sky with a dreamy face, reads “Thomas’ Hope”] Okay, it’s time for your medicine. Take one pill with the orange juice. That will make you feel better, at least for the time being.

[Virgil takes one pill from the bottle and gives it to Roman along with the orange juice]

ROMAN: Thanks. I owe Thomas and his friends so much for their efforts in trying to improve his mood. If it wasn’t for these little pills of hope Thomas generates for us, I don’t know if I would have coped at all… They’re the only thing that keeps me alive, literally. I hope, pun not intended, that they never run out.

VIRGIL: Me too, but remember what Logan said. You must take them fresh, because hope is strong and almost unbreakable when it’s the basis of a human mind, but it’s very fragile and gets spoiled easily when served in these small doses. So take it before it expires.

ROMAN: Okay. Can’t I have a double dose? The effect is so good, but lasts for so little…

VIRGIL: I’m not sure if it’s safe. I’d rather not take the risk until we ask Logan about it. It could be harmful for you.

ROMAN: [sighs] Okay, you’re right. Itadakimasu! [puts the pill in his mouth]

VIRGIL: What was that?

ROMAN: [still with the pill in his mouth] It was Japanese. Don’t you watch subtitled anime? They always say that before eating, as an expression of gratitude for the food they’re gonna eat.

VIRGIL: Oh, I see… You’re welcome, I guess.

[Roman swallows the pill with some of the juice]

ROMAN: Ah… this is so good. No one makes orange juice better than you, Virge.

VIRGIL: Heh… It was nothing special. If the oranges are good, the juice will be good, that’s all.

ROMAN: [grabbing Virgil’s hand] Don’t take merit from yourself, my Emo Dream-of-my-Lifetime, especially when I’m complimenting you.

VIRGIL: [smiles] Okay, I accept your compliment.

[Roman kisses Virgil’s hand, then they both look at each other for a couple of seconds with the most loving glance. It’s Virgil who gets out of this mesmerizing moment first]

VIRGIL: Okay… Now, I gotta go clean the squeezer, then I’ll make dinner. Do you want anything special for dinner tonight?

ROMAN: You told me Patton had given you his secret recipe for the cream of broccoli, right? That warm soup brought me back from the dead when I was feeling bruised. Maybe it could have the same effect with this fever. Could you make some? [puppy face and voice] Please? [suddenly serious] If it’s not too much work for you, of course.

VIRGIL: [shrugs] It’s okay by me. I have never made it before, but I’m willing to learn and if I follow the recipe, it shouldn’t be too hard. [yelling] What do you think, Chris!? Cream of broccoli for dinner!? With my dad’s recipe!?

CHRIS: [from a distance] Yay, I love Patton’s cream of broccoli! And broccoli is a good source of nutrients to help me effectively restore my bones too!

VIRGIL: Where did you learn that?

CHRIS: Uh… internet!? Oh, and grandpa Logan told me the last time they visited!

VIRGIL: [smirks] I thought so, you could only learn that kind of technical words from him… Okay, it’s settled, then. Cream of broccoli for dinner. I’ll start making it as soon as I clean the kitchen. Are you done with your glass, Roman?

ROMAN: [swallowing the last of the juice] Yes, I’m done. Thanks, Virge. I love you.

VIRGIL: I love you back, and you’re welcome. [grabs the empty glass] Now, try to rest a little bit while I’m making dinner, okay? Let the pill of hope make effect.

ROMAN: Okay. I really think I could sleep a little more.

VIRGIL: Dream a little dream of me.

ROMAN: All I do is dream of you my whole life through. [laying down in bed] See ya later.

[Virgil goes downstairs to the kitchen. He washes the two glasses, then cleans the squeezer, getting it ready for another use]

VIRGIL: Okay… now, to make dinner. I hope I have inherited some of my dad’s abilities to make that cream of broccoli.

[Virgil picks up his phone and starts reading the recipe Patton texted him]

VIRGIL: Okay, I need broccoli… Of course, Captain Obvious… I also need butter, an onion, a clove of garlic, three spoonfuls of flour, two cups of chicken stew, a quarter of liter of milk cream, two carrots… Carrots? Oh, well, Roman likes carrots. And Chris… He doesn’t need to know. And I also need salt, black pepper and cheddar cheese. Okay, time to summon it all. Here we go.

[Virgil summons all the ingredients, which appear on the counter]

VIRGIL: I wish I could summon the cream of broccoli itself already made… but I need to make it myself a couple of times before I’m certain I’m summoning it right. I wouldn’t want to serve my husband and son a bowl of swamp mud. Okay, let’s get cooking.

[Virgil starts following the instructions of the recipe. It’s not long before he starts getting anxious about the many steps the recipe has, some of them done at the same time. Soon, an awful smell starts filling the whole room]

VIRGIL: Holly sh… [bleep] ! The broccoli is burning! Oh, f… [bleep], the pan is on fire!

ROMAN: [distant voice] Virge? It’s something burning?

VIRGIL: It’s… it’s okay, Roman! I have it all under control!

[Virgil puts the pan on fire in the sink]

ROMAN: Remember, Virge, that you mustn’t try to extinguish grease fire with…

[Virgil turns on the water and a huge flame erupts from the pan, Virgil yells scared]

ROMAN: …water.

VIRGIL: [yelling almost hysterical] Okay, okay! Don’t worry, I… I knew that!

[Virgil looks for the fire extinguisher everywhere, on the verge of a panic attack. He finally finds it and extinguishes the flames that had already started burning the cabinets above the sink]

VIRGIL: Gosh… that was close… but I must endure. I need to make that cream of broccoli. And I’ll finish it even if I have to throw myself to the floor to grow the vegetables myself!

[Virgil approaches the counter, but he slips on a bunch of butter that had fallen on the floor in the confusion, and he loudly falls. He tries to hang on the edge on the counter, but he only manages to throw down everything that was there over him with a huge chaotic noise]

ROMAN: What was that? Is everything okay, Virge?

VIRGIL: [mumbling with a face of pain, covered with all the ingredients that fell on him] Aw… my arm… Talk about throwing myself to the floor… aw…

[soon footsteps are heard on the stairs and Roman appears wearing a dressing gown, white with a red belt and his logo on the left side of his chest. He’s also wearing golden slippers, and he’s carrying a walking stick, made of gold with the handle full of embedded rubies and amethysts. Roman looks horrified at the chaos in the kitchen, especially when he sees Virgil lying on the ground. Roman walks towards him, unable to run, but walking as fast as he can, leaning on his cane]

ROMAN: Virgil! Sweet Bette Midler, are you okay?

VIRGIL: [getting up with difficulty] Roman, you shouldn’t be up. Get back to bed, I can handle this.

ROMAN: Don’t worry, the pill has started making effect and I’m not feeling fever at this moment. And you obviously can’t handle this, anyone could see it. I’m so sorry I’ve made you go through this, my love. But not anymore, I swear.

VIRGIL: It’s not your fault. You didn’t choose to get sick, and it’s my duty to take care of you.

ROMAN: For starters, it never was a duty as in an obligation, and even if it was or rather you saw it as such because of your vows, you never vowed to do it all alone on your own. Logan once taught me that one mustn’t do things alone if they can gather a group of friends to help them. Now I understand what he meant and I agree. Virgil, I want you to call the others for help.

VIRGIL: So you think I’m not good enough to take care of you on my own, right? You think I’m not capable to do this?

ROMAN: You are capable enough, but capacity wears out with time for anyone, and there’s no need for you to do all of this all alone. Please, Virge, you need to rest as much as we do at this moment. Don’t you see we’re worrying about you and we’d feel better if we knew that you had some assistance? At least, let Patton come here to help you. He already offered to do so.

VIRGIL: But I don’t want to bother him…

ROMAN: [serious, firm voice] Either we call him or I call my brother Remus. You choose, but you’re no longer doing this alone.

VIRGIL: …or maybe it would be fine to call my dad…

ROMAN: That’s more like it. I knew I could convince you somehow.

VIRGIL: You say convincing, I say coercing. You know the mess that would happen if we bring Remus here to take care of this.

ROMAN: Whatever works… Will you call Patton or shall I?

VIRGIL: No, I’ll call him myself. And you’re going back to bed right now, mister.

ROMAN: I tell you I’m feeling fine at this moment. Call him. I’m not going back to bed until I see him here.

VIRGIL: [sighs] Okay… Dad! Dad are you there? Could you come here, please!

[Patton rises up]

PATTON: Hi, son. How are you do… [notices the mess in the kitchen] …ing now…? Okay I can see the answer with my own eyes… What’s happened here?

VIRGIL: Let’s just say that the cream of broccoli didn’t agree with me… while I was making it, that is.

PATTON: Okay, do not fear anymore. Your happy papi Patton is here.

VIRGIL: I hate so much bothering you… but Roman is right, I have reached my limit and I really need help.

PATTON: Hey, don’t worry, Virge. You are my son. You do this because you’re motivated by taking care of your son and husband, right? Do you think my motivation of taking care of you and your family, which is my family too, is any less strong? I’ll always be here for you, don’t you ever hesitate again to call me if you need me.

VIRGIL: Thank you, dad. Thank you so much.

PATTON: Okay, then first, Roman, go back to bed, you shouldn’t be up. Second, you, Virgil go have a shower and change your dirty clothes. And, even if you’re Vigilance and Anxiety, try to relax. Third, I’ll clean this mess before you have time to say “cookies”. And four, time to make some good warm cream of broccoli for my folks. [clapping hands] Okay, move on, now!

ROMAN: Wow, Patton, you really have your condition of dad in your DNA. You’ve organized all of our tasks in less than ten seconds…

PATTON: I said, back to bed, Princey, or do you want me to grab you there in my arms?

ROMAN: Okay, okay, I’m going, you don’t need to do that. [going upstairs] See ya later.

[Virgil also goes upstairs to the bathroom next to his bedroom. While getting a shower, he shows a face of concern while his thoughts are heard in an off-voice]

VIRGIL: [train of thought] Patton is saving the day this time… but I can’t rely on him for everything. I need to be self-sufficient. If I’m not capable of taking care of my own family… what kind of father and husband am I going to be? And Roman needs me… He doesn’t say it, because he pretends to be strong, like I do… but I know him very well. Behind that smile of assurance and that theatrical voice of bravery he displays… I can sense the fear in his eyes. He knows his life is on the stake and he doesn’t wanna die. I’m afraid to speak openly to him about that because I don’t wanna hurt or stress him… but I know he’s so scared. I wish he would open up to me, but opening up about his feelings has never been his strong suit… But is it him who needs to talk or is it really me? Is he the one who’s afraid to die… or is it me the one who’s afraid to lose him? Perhaps it is me who wants to talk to him about it… but I shouldn’t… Goodness, if I lose him… it will be like falling back into the Dark Realm again. He was the torch that guided me to the Light Side in the first place. It was literally his kiss what transformed me into a Light Side… and… I don’t know what I would do without him… [black tears fall down his cheeks, he cleans them and notices his stained hand] Oh, sh… I forgot to take my eyeshadow off before taking the shower. Oh, never mind, I’ll clean it later.

[Virgil gets out of the shower and wears a purple bathing robe. Right at that moment, Roman enters the bathroom. Virgil turns around quickly, trying to avoid Roman seeing his ruined eyeshadow]

ROMAN: Oh, sorry, I needed to go to the bathroom to pick up something and… Wait a minute. Have you been crying, Virge? Your eyeshadow is all over your cheeks

VIRGIL: What? Don’t be silly, it’s just that I forgot to take the eyeshadow off and the shower ruined it, that’s all. I…

ROMAN: You can’t fool me, Virge. I know you, and I can tell when you’ve been crying. What’s wrong, my love? You know you can tell me anything.

[Virgil turns around and looks at Roman. He’s crying again]

VIRGIL: I’m afraid.

ROMAN: Afraid?

VIRGIL: I don’t wanna lose you and I’m afraid that you could…

[Virgil gets choked up and covers his mouth and nose, desperately trying to fight the outburst of crying he can no longer hold back. Roman’s eyes get filled with tears again and he looks at Virgil with a glance overflowing with love]

ROMAN: Gosh… What have I done in life to deserve so much love from you? [opening his arms] Come here.

[Roman hugs Virgil tight until he calms down, then gives him a long kiss. Then he stares at him for a couple of seconds, still hugging him]

ROMAN: I’m scared too, I’m not gonna lie. Who wouldn’t be when his life is on risk? But I’m not gone yet, and while I’m here, I’m gonna keep fighting for my life, to keep on living, to keep on sharing my life with you and Chris, and the rest of our friends. You are the reason why I haven’t given up yet. So don’t give up either. I’m still standing and this illness won’t take me so easily. Heck, it won’t take me, at all. You’ll see. Okay?

VIRGIL: Okay…

[Roman kisses Virgil again, then Patton’s voice is heard from the bedroom on the other side of the door]

PATTON: Soup’s ready! Where are you, guys?

ROMAN: [still kissing Virgil, he groans] Mmm… I’m regretting Patton being here right at this moment…

VIRGIL: [kissing Roman’s cheek with a mocking smirk] It was your idea, Roman…

ROMAN: Yeah, I know… [gives Virgil a quick kiss, then releases him] Okay, let’s go. Now I’m feeling stronger than ever thanks to the pill… and this pill of love we’ve just shared. But I’m really in the mood for some warm soup. Aren’t you?

VIRGIL: Yeah, me too. But you go first, I’ll fix my makeup, then I’ll help Chris get to the stairs. It’s a good thing we can summon the chair lift at will to help Chris go up and down the stairs while his leg is still in the plaster.

ROMAN: Yeah, it is. Okay, I’ll be waiting downstairs for you two to arrive. I love you, my Hooded Dark Prince.

VIRGIL: I love you too, my Sir Sing-Along.

ROMAN: [opening the door] I’m here, Patton.

PATTON: Oh, there you are. [noticing Virgil in the bathroom before Roman closes the door behind him] I hope I’m not interrupting something.

ROMAN: No, we were just having a husband-to-husband talk we both needed to have, but we were done. I can’t wait for that broccoli, I’m hungry! My kingdom for a bowl of cream of broccoli!

PATTON: It’s a good sign that you feel hungry, kiddo. Let’s go.

[meanwhile, in the bathroom, Virgil cleans his face, then applies new makeup. Looking at himself in the mirror, he smirks]

VIRGIL: Things are coming rough right now… but as long as we’re together, we’ll get through it, I know.

PATTON: Virgil, your soup will get cold! I already helped Chris down the stairs, so hurry up, we’re all waiting down here, all the four of us!

VIRGIL: [changing to his usual outfit, then opening the door] Yes, I’m ready, dad! Don’t eat all the cream of broccoli without me! Wait… did he say the four of us?

[ending card]

[Roman, Virgil, Patton, Chris and Logan, who’s joined them, are eating the cream of broccoli on the living room’s table]

LOGAN: I give you my thanks for inviting me to dinner tonight with all of you. This cream of broccoli is more than adequate, Patton.

PATTON: Thanks, Lo. It’s the least I could do, inviting you for dinner, when I’m gonna have to spend a few nights here to help them.

VIRGIL: What? No, dad, that won’t be necessary. You can perfectly go home tonight with Logan, we can survive the night on our own, cause the only thing we’ll be doing is sleeping. And if anything goes wrong in the night, the only one who could get up anyway is me. You know you all fall asleep while Thomas is sleeping.

PATTON: Yeah, I know I’d spend the night sleeping in spite of myself… but I’d probably have nightmares all night out of the concern. If I was here, I’d feel more relaxed and my dreams would be more pleasant. Please, I can sleep on the couch if you want me to.

VIRGIL: No, dad. Should you come over here for the night, I would never allow you to sleep on the couch. We have a guest bedroom you can use… [sighs] Okay, if you think being away could cause you harm in your sleep… I accept. Both of you can sleep over here if you want, Logan.

LOGAN: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a…

VIRGIL: It’s okay, there’s room in the bed for both of you, and I would be less worried knowing that I’m not separating you now that you’re just married. What do you think, Roman?

ROMAN: Oh, I don’t mind at all.

LOGAN: All right, if you don’t have any issues with it, I accept. The only thing that worries me is breakfast, I…

ROMAN: It’s okay, Logan, we also eat a lot of Crofter’s in this house in the mornings.

LOGAN: [speaking quickly and excited] I’m in!

PATTON: Then, it’s settled. We’ll be here as the lovely family I’ve always envisioned in my dreams!

LOGAN: But only for dinner and breakfast, though, at least me. I’m currently working on something that needs all my attention in my own room during the day.

VIRGIL: Oh, okay, if that’s what you need. Can I ask what are you working on?

PATTON: Yes, my love, I would also like to know, you never told me anything.

LOGAN: It’s a plan of action to try and make Thomas’ mood improve. It is my duty to create all the logical mechanisms that help Thomas enjoy life and understand why life is still enjoyable, so I have to do that. My goal is that, when I have settled that foundation, Thomas will be able to restore his levels of hope to a healthy level again.

ROMAN: Oh, that would be so great. If it would work, you would be saving my life, literally. Thank you, Logan.

LOGAN: Don’t mention. That’s my job, after all. How are Thomas’ pills of hope working, by the way? Are they doing the trick?

ROMAN: Yes, they’re working perfectly fine. I had the last one a couple of hours ago and when I take one, all the symptoms almost disappear, even the fever goes away. That’s why I’m feeling so fine right now. It’s a shame that the effect only lasts for around four hours per pill and that I can only get three pills each day so I have to spend a great deal of the day feeling the symptoms in all their crudeness, and in those moments I feel like trash, but when they’re working like now, it’s an absolute relief. Say, isn’t there any possibility that I could get a double dose to make the effect last longer?

LOGAN: [suddenly yelling, with a face of fear and tension] No! Don’t do that! [there’s a silence at the table, everyone looks at Logan in silence. Logan clears his throat] I’m sorry… I wish you could take more pills or that the effect was longer, but as I told you, hope is fragile when served in these small doses, and if you got more than the established dose, which is one pill each eight hours, the pills you’d take in excess would get corrupted inside of you, as if it was an overdose. And then, they wouldn’t be hope anymore, they would be delusion, irrationality, even dementia, and that would have dangerous consequences, for you and for Thomas, that we must avoid at all cost. Remember, Roman. Even if you’re tempted to do so when you’re feeling the worst, even if you feel like you’re gonna die if you don’t, don’t take more than the right dose each day, do you understand?

ROMAN: Okay. I understand.

LOGAN: And I’m warning you about this because… I’m sorry but, seeing the evolution of your illness…

ROMAN: What?

LOGAN: You’re getting worse, Roman.

VIRGIL: What?

LOGAN: The pills will keep rescuing you and making you feel fine while they’re working, but when the effect wears off… you’re gonna be feeling worse than you’re already feeling now.

ROMAN: Oh, no… There has to be something you can do.

LOGAN: We’re working on it. But you must have faith in us and be strong when you feel the worst.

ROMAN: You’ve managed to scare me… Is it going to be so horrible?

LOGAN: Maybe even worse than anything you could imagine.

VIRGIL: [distressed] Logan, please, there’s no need to say things so crudely.

LOGAN: I’m sorry, but I can’t lie in a matter so serious, and Roman has the right to know… to be ready for that when it happens.

ROMAN: Logan is right, Virge, I have the right to know to prepare myself mentally. Don’t worry, I’m a prince. I’ll be strong, I promise.

VIRGIL: Roman… I know you’ll do your best. And we’ll do our best to take care of you too.

ROMAN: I count on that…

CHRIS: I wish I could take care of you too, father, but my leg…

ROMAN: I know, Chris, don’t worry about anything. Save your energies to heal that leg and get back in perfect shape. Remember we have lot’s of fencing lessons to share together in the future. And I don’t have any intention to miss them!

CHRIS: [smiling] Right!

PATTON: Okay, soup is over. Would you like a nice cup of hot chocolate for dessert? I can make churros to go with it.

VIRGIL: I’m not in the mood, dad, sorry…

PATTON: And that’s why I want you to help me make them. We need to distract ourselves and enjoy Roman’s good moments while they last. I won’t take no for an answer, kiddo.

VIRGIL: [sighs] Okay… let’s make some churros, then.

ROMAN: I think I’m gonna enjoy Patton’s stay in this room more than I anticipated. Churros for everyone! Yummy!

LOGAN: I would have preferred to dip them in Crofter’s, but hot chocolate is good too.

[Virgil goes with Patton to the kitchen and they start gathering the ingredients while Roman looks at them with a face of love and satisfaction, even though his eyes can’t conceal the fear. Virgil looks furtively at him and notices this fear but says nothing, and focuses on not messing up the recipe again]

[starwriterulia]

Reviewing Brea's Stuff - BTS Soulmate AU (1/2)

PART 1/2 (Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin)

HI! \(OwO)/

I want to draw ya'll's attention to one of my friends: @jimin-jungshook-over-literalbae. She's a k-pop reaction/scenario/text writer, and not only have I missed her as a friend so much during my long hiatus, I've also missed her writing. Thankfully, there's a lot for me to catch up on! She asked me to give my opinions on her BTS AUs, and with her permission, I've turned my reviews it into a bit of advertising! If you wanna read the stuff I did, ya'll don't have to scroll super far to find it all. I'll be reviewing each AU from a Reader's Standing (silly, sometimes improper sentences; sO MUCH swearing; caps lock) and from a Critic's Standing (second reading; at least one paragraph). Let's get into this! >o<

—Faith

Written in Order of Whichever Came up First While Scrolling

Taehyung AU (Reader's Standing):

Man, I can't relate with being abandoned at a club 'cause I don't drink, and there's no club in my town, but I love how Y/N is essentially abandoned, ha ha ha! Also, poor Y/N, the only person among their friends who hasn't found a soulmate yet and feels so damn lonely about it. :'(

'...soft masculine voice'—bless you, Brea, for describing this scum as feminine.

'It makes you want to scoff, honestly'—All right then, this Y/N is a bit of a bitch, when it comes to meeting strangers in a club. I like Y/N, already. :D

'...back hitting a wall'—Aw yeah, good going, Y/N. Cornering yourself, good shit.

Strong Tae is hot, like that whole wrist grabbing sequence, ooh.

'Excuse me, sir'—My inner Englishwoman accent has been summoned.

Bitter chocolate on Y/N's tongue?? Where did this come from, hm... HM... hm.

Oh wait this is the soulmate bit. NEATO, I LOVE CHOCOLATE!! Milk is cool too, I mean, I'm vegetarian. If you bring meat into any of these AUs I will riOT.

Internal screaming holy shit it's the gang they're here hi Jimin my baby TwT

Yas to fun dancing with the puppy that is Taehyung

'Your back is pressed against his chest and his hands rest on your hips'—AERUNAWERAWENURAWO cute yes thank you

More chocolate taste, mm, yes. *w*

Holding hands on way to friends = classic, love it.

scREAMING HE CALLED Y/N HIS SOULMATE YES BLESS THIS AU I mean I don't usually read them, but my friendo-burritos are special occasions, OK??

Physical manifestation?? All right, sure. I'm so confused about this because, as I just said, I don't read soulmate AUs.

Love how the flavour of chocolate changes, it's kind of romantic.

*Sees typo at second last paragraph for 'had' instead of 'hand' and holds breath* Save it, Grammar-Nazi alter-ego, it's just a typo.

Super cute paragraph though awoureraelr

'As though he's meant to stay there forever'—Is just too cute, oml.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT LAST PARAGRAPH AND THE LAST LINE OF Y/N MY HEEEEEEEEEEART GOD DAMN SO CUTE UUUUUUUUUUGH

It's over? ;w; It's over...

Taehyung AU (Critic's Standing):

I'll say this here so I don't have to repeat myself, but I don't tend to read Soulmate AUs because I honestly think they're a very basic and beginner's way to write fan fiction. But they're also a great way to practice, so no, I don't hate them, I just don't tend to read them. As you know, I've made an exception for my friend. The first paragraph set the atmosphere very well, and easily stated how Y/N was feeling about not having found their soulmate, yet, and how they're just forced to watch their friends, who already have. The creep insertion, while a common trope, was well executed—I especially approve of how Brea described the wrist grabbing and the little struggle Y/N had.

And then there's Taehyung to the rescue, and for a moment I forgot I was reading a soulmate AU, I was confused about why Y/N tasted chocolate for second. Like the subtle inclusion of Jungkook, Jimin and the other guys, and the dancing section where the taste of chocolate changes according to Taehyung's emotions was really neat. I also loved how Taehyung took Y/N home, and their little kissing moment was the cutest. Not the mention the killer one-liner Y/N delivered, at the end. This was a brief AU, but that's often a good idea, for these kinds of scenarios. If I could improve one thing about this, I would have done... nothing. I seriously can't find anything that I would change, in this. Great job, Brea!

Jungkook AU (Reader's Standing):

Ooh, a Big Bang concert!

OOH, bells to signal soulmate status, that's really cool! Also, cute stumble is best stumble.

'bunny teeth'—Yes, Jungkook is a bunny in disguise, I knew it. *w*

YouTuber Jungkook is a concept I would sell my soul to Satan to see IRL

Ey yo, Seungri! \(>w<)/ Feels like a real concert, lol

Oh boy, whispering...

Awwww group waving to Jungkook's camera, how nice. ;w;

OH BOY JUNGKOOK IS ESCORTED

Oml Jungkook must have been so embarrassed, standing on stage like that, as a mega-fan. Lucky dude.

Never mind, boy was hyped as hecc

Happy Jungkook is best Jungkook, that was so cute to read.

Ye boys and girls, let's go with Jungkook and see what happens next oml this is too cute aaa

iS THIS THE SAME BAR AS THE TAEHYUNG AU?!

Hi Jimin I love you ;w;

Riot for Jimin? Yes, very possible.

beLL RUNG AGAIN GOOD LORD

I approve of Y/N's choice of Daesung as their favourite member

Thank you Jimin for approving of Y/N's choice

Jungkook shooing because he's secretly a possessive puppy, cute

bELLS AGAIN

'pretty damning evidence'—This is suddenly a detective AU? Nice.

'princess'—Aaand now I'm trying not to squeal.

Good choice of bar over apartment there, Jungkook.

Clasped fingers are cute, yes, thank you

More bells, aaaaa

Soft kiss ;w; Ow my heart

Evolving bells? YES.

Seriously this was really cute, I loved it. I love everything Brea writes, tbh.

Maybe that's just a friendship thing, idk.

Jungkook AU (Critic's Standing):

When the story began at a Big Bang concert, I immediately started to recall every bop they ever made, and it made me so nostalgic and happy. Really nice concert vibe, felt pretty alive, for being described in one paragraph. The first occurrence of the bells stole my heart, I'm a winter fanatic and bells are such an iconic symbol of that season, so I really enjoyed finding out that the little soulmate signal for this AU was bells. Not to mention the little confused looks that Y/N and Jungkook gave to their surroundings before introducing themselves with yelling (because concert, makes total sense) was really nice. I also loved how Jungkook was a YouTuber, that's totally something he could be, if his life went a different direction.

Seungri noticed Jungkook, told the guys about him, and they all gave Jungkook's camera some love was neat, too. They got him onto the stage and Jungkook fulfilled his mega-fan dream of performing with the big boys, that was ultra sweet of them (and Brea, I guess). And the excited Jungkook after he returned to Y/N was so easy to picture, it was great. As I said in the Reader's Standing, is this the same bar Y/N in the Taehyung AU was taken to? It was nice to see Jimin again though, hee hee, and I really liked how Jimin and Jungkook talked about why Jimin wasn't with Taehyung—the struggles of being a famous idol, right?

Jungkook shooing away Jimin was also cute, and how Brea mentioned that Jungkook and Y/N just sat with a couple drinks and talked with a little buzz was nice. Jungkook's explanation of how he and Y/N are soulmates was a nice touch, I really can't get enough of picturing how those bells sound. Small kiss from Y/N to Jungkook was super sweet, and yes, YES, I would love it if those bells evolved into like, an entire little melody, ah. This one was somehow very relaxing to read, I enjoyed it.

Jungkook isn't even my bias wrecker and I want to punch him with a pillow for being so cute in this AU, dammit.

Jimin AU (Reader's Standing):

For some reason the picture of Jimin wouldn't load and I'm immediately a little sad because I don't get to see his pink hair and those amazingly adorable cheeks of his. Not to mention his gorgeous eyes and just AERNUOEWATO Jimin is great. ;w;

Y/N is legit me, but I'm reading hentai manga instead of an 'actual book'. Just kidding, I'd be reading Piers Anthony.

Cool cafe, would definitely go there.

But reading sometimes stresses me out, so... I just stick to Piers and other fantasy others who don't write about female leads, sorry, but I really fucking love men. >w<

Aw yes look at that, his pink hair is peeking through, I wish I could reach into this story and touch it, fuck

The Chim just keeps getting closer... and closer... God that's cute, it's so like him, I love that.

'marches his way right over to you'—AEUROOAEUNCOWEASNLU thank you Brea, I'm dying a little

Soft speaking is so cute, good Lord, bless this AU

I'm just excited to read this for a second time, I love Jimin so damn much, aaaa

Just reading with Jimin would be so nice, that one paragraph had such a quiet feeling to it, ah.

Oh no, he went back on tour </3

he'S BACK AND HE TAPPED Y/N'S HAND MY LORD

I would totally jump up and hug Jimin, sorry not sorry, that man needs so much love for being so cute and... A N D *heavy breathing*

Oh right Y/N does it anyway

Awww yes he hugs back ;w;

Ooh, familiar scent and a long hug, that's definitely romantic.

bOOK HANDING OVER INCEPTION. Thank you for that little nod, ah.

I would probably fit in his suitcase tbh I mean I'm 145cm and he's what, 165cm?? It would totally work out, guys.

fiNGERS ENTWINE SCREEEEEEE

Sneaky Jimin putting his number in Y/N's pocket. Wait he's also part of the pervert line, BREA ARE YOU SURE HE DIDN'T TAP Y/N'S ASS A LITTLE? Lol just kidding, but still, nice move, Jimin.

He smells like books, bless

NOT TO MENTION THE KISSES GOOD LORD

That note was so sweet holy shit

Good ending oh my God that was such a nice ending

Jimin AU (Critic's Standing):

How do I write a formal review, again? I loved the book cafe, that was such a natural place for this to happen. Y/N and Jimin meeting week after week, and Jimin inching closer and closer until he literally comes right up to Y/N and all I could think of was a fluffy puppy running, and it killed me. I really liked how Y/N and Jimin established a quiet relationship, that's like, friendship, and friendship is so nice. Then Jimin left and I felt a little empty with Y/N, and I'm just sitting here thinking about how easily you were able to make me relate to Y/N. He came back blond (I refuse to add the 'e' for a male; I'm Canadian, that's just how the French do things, nothing wrong with the more modern/American way >w<) and had to tap Y/N's hand to get their attention, and then there's that adorable hug that just warmed my heart.

Then there was a very well executed explanation of how Jimin knows he and Y/N are soulmates and how he slipped a note into their pocket when they hugged. And I'm completely serious when I say that I would love to just stuff myself into Jimin's suitcase, ha ha ha! The kisses were also a really nice touch, the note was very sweet, and again, Y/N's last say in this scenario as they gave in to temptation and texted Jimin was adorable. Jimin's explanation and the note really did it for me, heh. I enjoyed Jungkook's the most, out of these three, but this was also really relaxing to read.

OK, that's it, for the maknae line! Onto the hyung line. Thanks again for reading, everyone.

[annaheartbeat]

Okay so I saw The Last Jedi and here are my in depth messy af thoughts(spoiler alert, duh):

- Poe is gettin more screen time and bigger role in the series and OMF this makes me really happy. His little rebellious side is what keeps me going

-Ok I read spoilers before but never heard anything about the Yoda guest star appearance ummmm HELLO! I’m so happy to see him again! This makes me think that Jedi ghosts are gonna play an avid role in 9 since they reintroduced them back into the game🙌🙌

- THANK GOD they didn’t kill Leia. That was a major thing I didn’t want to happen going into this and the whole ‘Kylo not killing her even though he was suppose to’ moment was v important to me and whoa Leia can float and survive outer space WHAT A BAMF. I’m scared for what will happen to her character in 9, I wish she was still around the end the series, but maybe they’ll pull a fast and furious for the general?

- Wtf was with that milk shit omf that was so stupid, creepy, and unnecessary.

- Ok so I agree with most SW die hards: Luke’s dialogue was written SO POORLY, likeeveryone else was normal soundin but Luke sounded so weird wtf..?

- Luke’s death tho=was unexpected, sad as hell, but it was a good death. I’m glad Kylo didn’t kill him and I loved Luke’s dialogue in the fight scene at the end. Lukd talked normally then and had good af points thank gooood

-Casino planet= weird but I somehow like it..?

- Ending with the kids and shit was kinda unnecessary but I get it, it’s cute, it sets up the next movie, whatever.

- Ok so Leia- she became like one of the best parts of the film for me. I thought she was one of the best written in this film. I wish we saw more of her force power shit buuut maybe eventually we will..?

- Loved the plot twist of Luke almost killing Ben and that’s how Kylo began. That’s some good writing shit right there 👌👌👌

- Rose... meh. She’s cute. Idk if I like her and Finn(mainly because Finn and Poe are Finn and Poe, whatever). I wish she was more of a BAMF but her emotions did kinda balance out the characters. Still on the fence about her though🤷‍♀️

- Um hai the part with Luke going back in the Falcon, seeing R2, and the Leia projection. ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS

- Luke and Leia reuniting. ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS.

- Why does everyone hats C3PO goddaaamn

Ok so grand finale: let’s talk about my two babes: Rey and Ben.

- Rey was HELLA BAMF IN THIS FILM HOLY HELL YES PLEASE! She looks so good in blue. She can fight S U P E R well. He dialogue was great. I wish she’d shut up about her parents buuut the character wants what they want🤷‍♀️ etcetcetc.

- THIS FILM MADE KYLO SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER AND THAT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE HE IS MY FAV!!! A lot more emotional dynamics, more backstory insight, ugh. Like, they obviously want a redemption story for him. It’s so obvious at this point. I also want this redemption story hella bad so JJ, listen up for 9👉👉

- ok but KYLO KILLED SNOKE AND DESTROYED HIS HELMET AND TOUCHED REY’S HAND AND YALL THINK HE’S STILL GONNA BE BAD?!?! YEA RIGHT BITCH TRY AGAIN!!!

- Kylo force pushing Hux toward the end was my favorite part of the entire film. Hands down.

- I’m still pretty sure Rey is a Kenobi Guys. There are so many hints in the writing. Ex: In TFA in her dream sequence, most of that sequence is cleared up except A: child her being left on Jakku and B: Obi’s voice in the background. Like, between that and the whole- I’m gonna scar Kylo’s face the exact same was as Obi did Anakin, makes it really obvious to me. Her parents may have been nothing, BUT HER GRANDPAPI THO!!!

- This could lead to a new type of redemption arc but oddly enough kind of like a full circle moment for the KenobixSkywalker past. It would be so poetic guys. Rey and Ben are basically reliving the same relationship plot as Obi and Anakin but in reverse!!!

- Who will Rey end up with in the end?!? Either A: no one, she don’t need no man(but this is the modern day film industry, that’s highly unlikely). B: Ben. But only when Ben is Ben or perhaps if they find a middle ground. I think this is the best option. I’m not a Reylo person, I’m a Rey and Ben person. Guys, the Force ben wants them together. THE FORCE👉👉 And it wouldn’t be abusive then and would kinda be similar to Leia and Han in a way. They hate each other to the point of liking each other. Also, Ben/Kylo is already gotten everything he wants: Luke dead, his past(Han) dead. What the hell does he want now? Rey. C: Poe..? It’s weird and I hate it too, but if JJ just wants to spite us all, he will. HE WILL.

- Um the force bonding moments between Rey and Ben: 11/10 super cool dude. I looooooved it omf and the pants were exactly what I expected. Terrible, but I love my emo bean anyways

- UMM HAI THE HAND TOUCH PART HAD ME SHOOK SO MUCH OMF

SO WHAT DOES SHE WANT FOR EPISODE 9:

- Rey having a blue double lightsaber like darth maul but because it’s Rey. It’ll be hella rad.

- Kylo to be confronted by Jedi ghost Anakin, Han, and/or maybe Luke about the past and the future so he will turn on the first order and kill Kylo off finally. LET BEN BE BEN.

- Ben and Leia reunite somehow. I know Carrie’s gone, but Hollywood, has your CGI magic to make us happy please.

- TAKE DOWN THAT FIRST ORDER BITCH

- Kill Hux, omf I hate him. Sorry not sorry

- Finn better fricking reveal his past god dang it. I don’t want that Lando shit, I’d much rather him be Mace Windu’s grandson. Him&Rey&Ben would have like an ancestor reunion. HELL YEAH

- Rey learning about Obi and being a Kenobi pls. I think her parents will actually be garbage but her grandpapi was the shit dude👉👉 I need that.

- More Rey and Ben fight scenes because that was literally soooooo good omf.

- More Force bonding pls if possible. The film kinda ends with them shutting that down possibly, but I doubt shutting a door means that..? It’s just her symbolic ‘no dude I’m not gonna be evil’ to Kylo.

-Poe better lead the effin rebellion.

-And idk whatever else JJ wants I trust him... and only him at this point.

[imperfectfools]

@onceuponymous

This… got pretty long. If you feel like publishing this, you can paste this into a text file so that a readmore can be added.

Things that happen in Official Casebook Vol. 2: The Miles Edgeworth files: A comic that takes place between Rise From the Ashes and writing the note, wherein Phoenix and Gumshoe worry because Edgeworth isn’t answering his phone or e-mails, and that he’s acting differently lately.  Gumshoe actually steals a file from Edgeworth and brings it to Phoenix’s office in order to force them” to confront.  Phoenix points out that this file is from an old case, meaning Edgeworth is sorting out all of his old cases and not taking any new ones, and is worried.  Quotes from his inner monologue: “This is why I didn’t want to see him.  He cuts right into the one thing I don’t want him to touch.” Phoenix grabs his hand and tells him not to feel alone. “If… …I let go of his hand now… I may never get another friend like him again. Even so,” Miles pulls his hand away.  Out loud: “If… if I disappear from before you again, don’t come after me, Wright.” Edgeworth sees Pearl in front of a TV window display in a toy store.  It’s a movie where a mother bear is fighting to protect her cub.  The store manager comes out and says it’s closing time, and Pearl asks, “Mr. Edgeworth!  This… this little bear will get to see his mother again, won’t he!?” and starts crying.  Knowing that the mother and cub get separated in a blizzard and never see each other again, and also knowing that Pearl’s mother is in prison, he lies and says they reunite.  He then spends the rest of the day sabotaging Wright and Co. Law Offices’ attempts to let Pearl watch the movie on television or DVD (including walking into their office, pouring coffee on the TV, and walking out).  It only ends when Pearl comes forth and said she lied, she knows how the movie ends, and she just asked the question as a lie because the scene upset her.  Everything gets settled, the movie gets watched, and he buys a stuffed bear based on the movie for Pearl. This: 

(check out the shape the stars make)

Edgeworth allows himself to be stabbed by a child because the boy was upset at him getting his father declared guilty. (Okay, he blocks the knife with the cast he had on his arm at the time.)  He doesn’t try to get the boy punished or anything, just hugs him and tells him “It’s okay… You’ll be okay.”

He dresses up as Phoenix to help the defense investigation because the real Phoenix has been kidnapped?? This comic is kind of dumb.  He gets sad afterwards because he had a good time with Maya and Gumshoe and isn’t used to feeling like that.

A comic that doesn’t make much sense, but fuck it, I’m recounting it here.  Miles remembers crying in the rain after his father’s death, and a boy coming up to him and giving him his umbrella.  Present day, he has a dream about it, and goes to talk to Phoenix about how he feels like he’s in that boy’s debt because the act of kindness meant so much to him — but he can’t remember what his face looked like.  Somehow Pearl, Maya, and Larry all chase him into a lake as they try to hit him on the head to make him regain his memories (???).  He wakes up on a couch in Wright’s office, and the boy he remembers is standing in front of him.  Turns out it’s Phoenix but with wet hair after pulling him out of the lake.  (I choose to believe that Miles’s shit vision means he’s used to identifying Phoenix by hair alone.)  Edgeworth gets this distant look on his face, and thinks “So I’ll be indebted to this man my whole life…?”  Phoenix says, “Not that I care, but you could at least say thank you, Edgeworth”  “I know that!  I — I am deeply grateful!”

Another comic where he dreams about being rescued from the elevator by Maya.  Edgeworth thinks about how he really wants to say thank you to her (for risking herself with the contempt of court thing and for getting the bullet) but can’t seem to get the words out.  Somehow he and Phoenix go to Kurain village and rescue Maya from a bear using Pink Samurai training cards??? I’m kind of fuzzy on this sequence.  Maya says, “Thank you for saving me.”  Inner monologue as he takes her hand to help stand up: “  Those are the words I wanted to say to her then… and the words I can never bring myself to say. …But… I’ll push myself a little at a time.  Because they may be only two words, but they’re very important ones.”

Apparently, in grade school Miles, Larry, and Phoenix used to have milk chugging contests where the loser would have to take cleaning duty, and Miles never won.  This is brought up at a restaurant, and Edgeworth demands a rematch then and there.  He loses.

Somehow he ends up teaming up with Ema Skye in a curry-eating contest against Jake Marshall and Damon Gant??? (He wins.)  (This comic book is dumb.)

Edgeworth sees Pearl, Phoenix, and Maya standing outside of a curry restaurant.  Pearl: “I’m sorry… I don’t really like curry…”  Maya: “What?  I thought you loved curry, Pearly…”  Phoenix: “Oh… I bet it reminds her of gravy and that case.” (The translators had to kind of scramble to make this make sense since Bridge to Turnabout had curry in Japanese and gravy in English, and this manga story is very clearly about curry.)  Miles immediately thinks that Pearl is going to unavoidably encounter curry a lot in her life, and thus materializes next to the group and demands that they go on a curry-making cooking field trip, in order to provide Pearl with good curry-related memories.  (“We’ll banish the detested memories by engraving new ones in her heart!!”)  Franziska comes along.  Franziska dices an onion using her whip.  Franziska fights a bear by whipping an onion at it.  Pearl gets across that she’s really happy and thankful for the whole experience.

His cravat, throughout all of the stories, is referred to as “his ruffles”.

He hires Maya as a co-counsel for a short while so that she can get some money (which she uses to buy a tie for Nick).

Maya has a fight with Nick over Steel Samurai, sneaks into Edgeworth’s office, and falls asleep on his couch.  He drags her back (and they stop at a noodle place on the way there).  Later, Pearl sneaks into his office and falls asleep on his couch.

Phoenix and Maya get to talking about how a lawyer should look good.  Phoenix goes to Edgeworth and asks him what he thinks a good-looking man is like.  Edgeworth tries to pass him off to Larry, but after each piece of advice Larry offers, Phoenix goes back to demonstrate for Edgeworth.  It’s all pretty stupid, but I thought it was gay enough to warrant mention.

[horrorbutgay]

NDRV3 Demo Analysis w/ Full Game Spoilers!

(My friend Elfi/Apri made this and jesus fuck shes a fucking genius please love her)

First off, let me mention that I immediately went into sleuthing mode while I was playing the demo for about 4h (both English and Japanese), because I'm aware that even DR demos have a decent difficulty level to its case writing (judging by suspicion not necessarily incriminating Hifumi The Harmless in the demo until the manga came into the picture with the full story) and this demo seemed too easy if you don't give it some proper thought like most of the unspoiled fandom is still not used to doing. From what I managed to piece together with the clues shattered throughout the demo and based on the knowledge of the full game's content, I'm convinced Naegi is the correct culprit vote like we all thought, BUT (huge but) paying attention and giving it some thought grant you the speculation that he could've actually had an accomplice outside of the protagonist room. And that accomplice is no less than the scheming mastermind of the game: Shirogane Shirogane Tsumukweeeen. (Yes, that Despair Arc dub meme never gets old) Let me start my explanation with the clarification that this demo is clearly another in-universe promotional method for V3 like the Maki, Kaito and Ki-Bo poster. It's like a popular show treating its fanbase with the kind of sneak peek preview to let them know what to expect. I also want to clarify that people were indeed able to enter the protagonist room before the gym announcement, because how else would you explain Tojo being able to clean the whole dormitory? This leads me to the conclusion that Tojo likely got her hands onto a master key from Monokuma with Tsumugi's aid and she locked the doors of all the rooms after cleaning them. Yes, Hoshi was there too, but so was Yumeno for a bit and that still doesn't mean they entered the dormitory later. Considering how Ultimate Dedication Kirumi is able to afford wasting time on introducing herself if she was supposedly in the middle of cleaning when you just arrive at the dorm, it's quite safe to assume the job was already done at that point and that is why the protag room is already locked if you do try to open it before going to the gym. In fact, all the rooms are locked. Kaede clearly was the last student to wake up, and Tsumugi being the only one with the ability to confirm Kirumi's alibi - despite Hoshi and Yumeno presumably being at the dorm as well - is a major hint that the clean-up was pretty much done waaay before you awoke, got past all the other students from the AV Room onwards to the dorm, and finally listened to the introduction of those three. I say three because I honestly think Yumeno was in the kitchen at first and only appeared in the dorms once the body discovery announcement was made. Anyway, Kirumi obviously locked the doors for safety and privacy measures once the clean-up was done. I believe Hagakure's "corpse" was already in Kaede's bathroom at this point, and here's why Tojo probably neglected to inspect and clean ALL of the bathrooms: As someone who comes off on the surface as a trustworthy and supportive person, not to mention that she acts as a huge fan of a maid's work, Kirumi is inclined to believe her if Tsumugi simply insists for example that Monokuma told her that all the bathrooms were taken extra care of to be spotless. As I've established, there is no breathing room for the player after the gym announcement, so Tsumugi had to be the only character present while Kirumi was cleaning the dormitory. Because she simply admires Kirumi's work as a maid due to how much of a geek she is, so she had to keep watching and this doesn't seem suspicious to you at all without fullgame spoilers because they always made Tsumugi out to be a bland motherly "heart on her sleeve" nerd type of girl. It is entirely understandable that Tsumugi - as the MM getting her lifetime dream of a writer debut on TDR come true - wants the killing game to start as fast as possible, and this is emphasized in the full game by how she gives them a two days time limit right off the bat to commit a murder or else they'll all be mass murdered. In the full game, this doesn't work out so well and she doesn't like how Kaede gets so well along with Amami in that bonus scene (explaining why Kaede believes in his innocence to be the MM in Case 1) without even knowing about his impressive SHSL Survivor status as the only survivor of V2. And Rantarou also turns out to be better at nail painting than the Ultimate Cosplayer thanks to living with twelve sisters at home, making her outraged with jealousy. To push her over the edge, time is running out and a mass execution would be a boring and way too quick end for the season, which would affect the ratings. She can't allow that, so she goes with the two characters she passionately dislikes so far to get them out of the picture and continue the show. Arguably, she would've even been fine with any vote that wasn't her because the MM being executed would also end the show too early. Kaede and Saihara were the prime suspects, so even though she framed Kaede for also trying her hardest to expose her due to the same reasoning and she conveniently set a death trap with a similar method to how she decided to kill Rantarou (remember, the heavy iron balls were in the warehouse available for anyone to grab), Saihara would have been fine too. Kaede works better though, because she is legitimately convinced of her guilt. Shadowing her as the demo first culprit is a nice nod to the full version and it makes perfect sense in context, and I'll explain why right now. No, sadly enough, there are no chances of that but that info is (preferably?) not spread through the fandom and only on the wiki. Turns out that when you enter Amami's research faculty, you discover a recording of himself before the memory manipulation process (there's a vast difference with that and brainwashing :')) in which he reveals that he is from the previous killing game and he was the only survivor there. That likely makes him more worthy of the SHSL Survivor status in the fanbase's eyes. Especially Tsumugi lmao She's a full-on critic Anyway, I liked clearing that up for the people here, but now onwards. I'm almost 100% sure that Kirumi would vaguely hint towards this exchange of words happening between her and Tsumugi if the player voluntarily approaches her after she decides to stay behind with Hajime, but that's something I'd have to check with a replay. Hajime and Makoto actually being in the demo/in-universe preview episode is also a great treat to hardcore fan Tsumugi. Especially Makoto, the protagonist of her favorite cast. We already established before that Tsumugi is going back to the original and she wanted to recreate the DR1 cast & killing game whilst simultaneously criticizing the flaws of her favorite game/season (the reality tv killing game started with reboots of the original fictional material with real actors, as evidenced by the collage sequence if you manage to read through all of them.)(edited) I initially thought of them possibly being Tsumugi's cosplays, but that ended up being too far-fetched for my taste and some of the 53 seasons do involve aforementioned reboots of originally fictional source material. It's just a little too fastly skipped on in the collage for the most part after the first ten entries.(edited) And just who from the cast do you think even Tsumugi would detest despite being a DR1 stan? That's right: Yasuhiro Hagakure. This passionate hatred is even further emphasized by there not being a Hagakure parallel in her fanfiction. She likes her casts well-rounded. But that doesn't explain the revealed fake death at the end, so let me continue my theory. Tsumugi invited Hajime, Makoto and Hagakure along to the live preview of her writing and acting debut on Team Danganronpa. Because she arranged the perfect protagonist who's like no other and ideal to keep milking the series, on top of that that person is also female, the actors for the OC leads (who obviously also survived in their portion of a reality tv killing game to stay faithful to the omnipresent motto of keeping the MCs alive, despite the vast differences in the rest of the  survivor sets for DR1 and 2 which I'll tackle in a bit) are brought back to their roles to guide Kaede and introduce the nostalgia Tsumugi is going to include in the upcoming season. Ah, and before anyone comes up with a "Rantarou" rebuttal for the sake of completing the DR1 parallel, keep in mind that his personality mainly stems from the previous season and there are some characters (like Gonta) that even Kodaka admitted he has never written before because Tsumugi managed to give a sense of uniqueness to the cast.(edited) And the remaining students also managed to drift apart from the character arcs she so thoroughly planned for them, but that's meta for another day. Remember the "fake" AU leaks that I eventually explained to be V3's version of the (either tv or game) outcome for the events for 1 and 2 in their universe? Well, Hagakure dies in that. Probably also the first victim, explaining Monokuma's fourth wall breaking comment that this is actually his second time dying. It's a double-sided statement that you won't catch up on if you haven't practically finished the game. His character was basically recycled with a look-alike actor in order to fool the audience with that pretense of Danganronpa just being a cool TV show (more on that in that ending meta I plan to discuss here some time) - I assume they do this with all previews of new seasons once the audience started doing some digging on the real people behind their beloved characters or perhaps the real names were initially not even included in the credits (like when they did the reboots) until they started with new storylines to not run out of ideas, keep profiting and take the thrill a step further) - and because he therefore wouldn't have experience with acting like Hagakure, Tsumugi left him out of the preview until it was time for his body discovery. Being the comic relief character he is supposed to be, Hagakure's actor was fortunate to be able to be used as a fake death with the plot convenience of Ultimate Detective not entering the crime scene in the demo. All this clearly explains the black screen ending scenario where the returning characters all wonder if their acting was good, and Hagakure suddenly rushing in to reveal it was a fake death. TDR is teasing and deceiving you, the unspoiled viewer anticipating their announced renewal for another season, because deception is what it's all about with V3's Truth vs Lies theme. A neat manner to let the world know what to expect. TDR probably also uses these previews to test the results of the memory manipulation used on the cast and the audience's reaction on seeing this cast in action. The company wants to know if Tsumugi's adjustments are sufficient or if there's anything left to mold their personalities for in order to appeal the whole cast to the audience, explaining the pleasant surprises like Tenko initially being hyped up as the discourse character yet actually being the most morally good female of the cast. Seriously, the best part about V3 is that it all (even the promotion) comes full-circle if you give it some proper thought. The entry is filled with a never-ending cycle of full-circle moments which are able to blow your mind when you finally connect that cycle. Spoiling, fourth-wall-breaking game promotion before the game is even out. It's incredible how far they planned ahead, honestly Anyway, let's continue. There's some necessary details left to make the full picture. So basically, Tsumugi arranged this whole scenario with the three of them, and considering how safe it is to assume how passionately Tsumugi despises Hagakure, they might as well have even had to resort to a compromise to give Hagakure's nobody actor a planned fake death as long as Tsumugi makes sure nobody enters the protagonist room. The fake crime scene they set up must not be exposed. There's obviously frozen blood bags in TDR's various morgues from all the reality tv killing games, so they used the dead Hagakure's blood to shroud the new actor in. This is all done to make the timing so fresh and in case they cannot prevent the Ultimate Detective from investigating the crime scene. Saihara would definitely catch up on fake blood, after all. You can supply blood in a fresh manner by sustaining them in frozen blood bags. Common scientific knowledge. And it makes sense to supply their blood because TDR started these behind-the-scenes kidnappings and schemes up with running out of ideas and the reality TV reboots of their original source material. No way would the ratings - which are so important to them because they're making a good living off of this show and it can't end in their eyes - stay unaffected by a simple reboot, hence the new survivor sets that I will headcanon as being part of the TV reboot from now on. This indicates that they kept the strengths of the original entries, but they twisted the story of the games like we already were informed of by Tsumugi. They're greedy and huge perfectionists, so those previously fictional characters really had to be brought to life. That's where the development of the futuristic technology comes in. More on TDR specifically in my ending meta though! :P Well then, let's further detail how this off-screen plan worked so well in case the realization is not hitting someone yet. The knife is actually just twisted in a gaping hole from his shirt being stabbed in his abdomen non-fatally, so I suppose it makes sense that it looks so real once he plays dead and they add real blood on him. Implying that the fandom or the in-universe audience will spend that much doubt to it with how legit it looks, but Saihara definitely would inspect the corpse more as it's his duty. It's a huge plot convenience that Saihara does not bother to do so, likely because he's already made up his mind on who the culprit is like all of us did from the start: Naegi Makoto. And while he is not exactly wrong, he's dense to the major foreshadowing of an accomplice due to a lack of evidence. A nice mirror to the real first case. Tsumugi truly is a master puppeteer, and I still view her as a controlfreak because the term means that she is obsessed with maintaining her control of something. And that is emphasized in the game multiple times once Monodam, Angie and Korekiyo turn the planned pattern for the killing game around in chapter 3 and so onwards. Back to the demo: after the preparation process is done, Hagakure is left alone in the bathroom waiting for his scene to act like a corpse, not allowed to make a noise.(edited) Tsumugi and Makoto split up; former approaches Kirumi to start cleaning as soon as possible (probably convincing Monokuma to give the SHSL Maid a master key) in order to avoid anyone meeting Hagakure; the latter goes to check on Kaede in the AV Room in order to continue the plan "smoothly" as he mentions later in the class trial. Wanna know why he had to part ways with Kaede when all the students are demanded to go to the gym? It's simple when you've gotten this far. Since Tsumugi cannot possibly ignore this order from Monokuma and come out of the shadows with her real personality, Makoto is the one who needs to proceed with the last phase of the plan: splashing the actor playing dead in freshly kept blood from the frozen blood bag for his original predecessor. Hagakura is the one who got the kitchen knife and might as well have been the one to non-fatally stab himself, but that's just a small detail and it makes sense that the cast without the detective (thus inexperienced with murder cases) would legitimately assume his death to be for real just upon the sight of a drenched murder weapon and the excessive amount of fresh blood.(edited) And this is exactly why the blood confirms the time of death being a few minutes ago when they were all at the gym. Lastly, this also explains Makoto's hair dropping at the crime scene. Stuff like that commonly happens, especially when you're in a rush and they probably had to fake a convincing struggle in the short period of time they had. He was obviously able to access the room because he was the first one to receive the keys due to likely being the only person not to be infected with sleeping gas alongside Hagakure.(edited) I can't connect where Hajime's part comes in though, so maybe he wasn't involved - which I can understand cuz a fangirl prefers cooperating and interacting with her favorites - or perhaps his only contribution was (unknowingly of Tsumugi's elaborate scheme) aiding Tsumugi and Kirumi with his confidence and experience in order to convince Monokuma to hand over that master key for the maid to do her job. I really believe Hajime's actor was kept in the dark because unlike a personified Naegi, the personified Hajime wouldn't be lured to a route as corrupt as the former took by being willing to do anything to keep living off of TDR's unquestionably high salary if you survive AND return to the show. No, this actor only thought he was hired again for nostalgia's sake, because that's what we all assumed as well. And Hajime was the most intended as a returning lead to guide Kaede on the road of leading her group and passing the leadership onto her, despite not being her instructor like Naegi but that's all according to plan, of course. This is my demo headcanon. This is my conclusive interpretation of the demo

[mnwlknthwrld]

CAS final reflection

All of the things I did for CAS were actually things I would usually do, therefore, they were never forced. However, I must say that sometimes if the necessity of doing CAS reflections  did not exist I would omit for example some guitar practices simply because I would decide that I do not have enough self-time left. But thanks to CAS I didn’t. Most of these two years I stuck to the same activities as I wanted to see a bigger progress in few areas rather than only touching on everything I would ever want to do (and there are a lot of things like that). 

It was very easy with finding activities for Service since I was already a member of an organization called Otwarte Klatki (Open Cages). Volunteering is what I wanted to do since I was a little child, therefore this was a very pleasant experience for me. Having to reflect on it for CAS allowed me develop inside of the organization and also realize how important it is for me. During these 18 months I became more comfortable and found my place in the organization. I figured out which branches of our movement interest me the most and the ones where I can help the most. I found that I am more interested in animal welfare campaigns rather than plant-based campaigns. I think that this part that I like is actually tougher mentally because you have to work with difficult topics revolving around suffering animals. Whereas plant-based campaigns focus on talking to businesses or promoting vegan food in the social media. This allows you to help animals with some kind of a shelter where you are not exposed to their suffering. For this reason there are less people in the welfare campaigns and this another motive for me to work with more difficult subjects. Thanks to volunteering in this organization I met many people who understood my beliefs, this brought me more peace and gave me power to act. It is always easier when you are not all alone in something you strongly identify with. During the last months of the CAS experience I also realized that what I’ve been doing in Open Cages for these three years is actually something I would love to do for a living. I always knew that I will always aspire to help animals but I did not realize that this was something I could or wanted to do as my regular job. When I came up with it I was really shocked, the answer was so close, it was just beside me. Now when I am thinking about it, this idea seems perfect. I would like to dedicate my life to helping animals and doing it as a job is a dream of mine. If I was to do something else for a living I would not be able to give as much to Open Cages. Working in such organization would give me a lot of satisfaction. Therefore, now I try to do as much as I can in the OK so I can gain experience. I also plan to use outside resources so I can learn more on the matter so I am ready to help animals full-time. Besides from Open Cages, I also volunteered in WOŚP. Once I even connected the two while volunteering for Open Cages during Pol’and’Rock Festival. I really loved being able help on a bigger scale. This way I could spread knowledge about animal welfare and plant-based future to A LOT of people. I learnt how much I like it and actually how good I am at it. I realized how clear and calm I can be and it made me really happy. I loved it when people agreed to try some recipes or switching regular milk for a plant-based one. Generally, while doing streetwork I realized how uninformed people are and I was really happy to present even the smallest part of my knowledge to them. 

Activity was also not a threat for me since I always loved sports. I decided to make dance my main activity since this was what I already focused on the most. Right with starting my CAS experience I also joined a new group, which we later called “Zokinazoli”. This was with my all time favorite teacher Sarna. Despite being a dancer for ten years these two were when I expanded the most. I was introduced to the raw dance forms (previously we had some technique and simple choreographies). I fell in love with basic contemporary. Thanks to these classes I found a second family, a place which was some kind of an asylum. The atmosphere in the group is amazing and whenever I go there I feel deeply cared for and it is really amazing. I used to force myself to go to classes because people there were so toxic but here it’s the opposite. These classes allowed me to open up and break many boundaries including the ones in arts/sports and the social ones. This group is a safe space where I can expand on many levels. I also came across obstacles as I often had to choose what is more important: school or dance classes? My decisions differed and I am happy to say that I managed to always make good decisions. Dance is a necessary part of my life. When I dance just for myself in my room I feel better mentally. Dance also keeps me healthy and strong which is amazing as well. 

When it comes to activities I did many things which were supportive to my dancing. This included various acrobatics I tried. They taught me about fear and breaking boundaries. I learnt a very important thing that is: practice, practice, practice. It is very simple. You just have to dedicate your time and the results you want will come. I was also stretching. However, this would come in waves and I did not maintain an uninterrupted routine. Because of this I saw how important routine is. And I discovered that I actually like it. Stretching gave me a lot of satisfaction and I adored the results. I also tried yoga, dedicated the most by the end of my CAS experience. I believe that due to the holistic approach of the yoga path I took was a very good idea. Thanks to the specific breathing techniques, repeated sequences, always doing yoga in the morning, it was like meditation for me, like a trans. I feel incredibly good when I practice yoga. Much more grounded. My other Activities included ice skating. Once again I learnt that I just needed yo let go of the fear and this allowed me to “fly”. The tricks I did were not even hard, I had it in me but I just had to break the mental blockages. And once I did it (which took me many years) I started expanding really fast. This taught me a very important lesson and I hope to go with it on many other layers of my life. I also skated using usual inline skates. It brought me relaxation, I could compare it to a small journey when I could reflect or have a little moment to myself. I started running for a very short while, maybe I could call it a failure but at that time it helped me with by health. I also learnt that if you are not into something there is no need to force yourself to do this, there are plenty other things you van do instead. 

I had a lot of activities because I love sports and I am happy because they helped me expand different areas of my body and kept me healthy. 

Creativity was probably the toughest part for me because I did not have one thing which I specifically wanted to develop. I want to do many things so I did not have problems with finding ideas, however I never found one thing I liked the most in terms of Creativity. Guitar was what I sticked to the most. I am happy and surprised that I managed to practice so much. I am especially happy because I love music and it is nice to play the songs I listen to. I wanted to learn how to play for very long so I finally did this. I also saw how important group work was as it would be much tougher without help from a number of friends. I did try Spanish, I really loved learning it but I did not have enough time. I learnt that this was just too much for me, I did not have as much time and space in my mind I could dedicate. I wasn’t able to do as many things at once. I plan to learn Spanish after finishing high school.

Creativity which surprised me a lot was the photography. I always loved to shoot pictures of nature and architecture but during the course I started taking pictures of people. I loved how I could capture their emotions, show them the pictures and make them smile. Thanks to photography I could also show people how I see the world. I love different shapes, perspectives, shooting and editing pictures in a certain aesthetic. This is similar to movies. I formed a deep appreciation for beauty. I adore cinematography, the incredible pictures. I think it makes life more beautiful. I love drowning in aesthetics created by directors and the whole staff of a movie. I often draw many life lessons from them as well.

During my CAS project — KatMUN 2019 — I also learnt a few things. I was the Deputy Secretary General so my role was to coordinate everything. I learnt that being in a team is a really great advantage, you get a lot of support and not everything is on your shoulders. However, I also learnt that you should not work with people who need a detailed explanation of everything they have to do. The work was much easier when people just consulted with me and Zosia instead of us doing almost the whole work for them because they did not even try unless they had everything laid out in front of them. 

To conclude I am really happy with my CAS experience, despite the fact that I would do all these things either way. I really appreciate writing the reflections, it inspired me to reflect more on my activities and I plan to continue doing that with for example my dance classes. 

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jeff York on The Establishing Shot: “CATS”, QUITE SIMPLY, IS A DOG

If you saw the trailer, you had a good idea of just how badly conceived the filmed adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical CATS was going to be. But after seeing the 110-minute, $95 million mess, bad is too small of a word. This film is a dog.

Seldom has an adaptation been as blundered at every level as this one. One could readily list a hundred mistakes in it, and I’m sure the makers of those “Everything Wrong With” videos on YouTube will go to town in exactly that way. Me? I’ll list nine, an appropriate number given the number of lives felines are supposed to have. This CATS, however, and all of its screw-ups, arrives in the cineplex DOA.

1.) The source material has aged badly

When he wrote the musical in 1981, Webber kept faithfully true to the T.S. Eliot source material – the book of poems entitled “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.” Eliot’s musings about felines were equally nonsensical and whimsical. He coined the term “Jellicle cat” to signify scruffy, black and white cats, which he had a fondness for. By the time you’ve heard the cast sing that gibberish word for the hundredth time, you’ll wish he had just used a term like “domesticated cat” or “pet.” The lyrics sound creaky, dated, and not particularly charming or funny, like a lot of Eliot’s misguided take on cats. (Cats aren’t supposed to drink milk or dream, for example. Need I go on?) The odd poetry really doesn’t play in 2019, especially when the one song that is crystal clear in meaning and intent is a new song written by Taylor Swift for this adaptation. There’s quaint, and then there’s irritating and worn, and too much of the jellicleness falls into the latter category here.

2.) The look of the cat/human hybrids is ugly and inconsistent

The form-fitting fur costumes for the big screen accentuate human anatomy more than suggest our four-legged friends. The film is supposed to be family-friendly, but the look of the characters is far too sexualized, too Dr. Moreau. Rebel Wilson’s Jennyanydots portrayal is the most egregious, as she rubs her loins and holds her tail between her legs as if it’s an erection. Why they simply didn’t ape the stage costumes is a puzzler as John Napier’s award-winning designs mixed dancewear with tasteful fur trimming and some human clothing, but nothing about it conjured the feel of a “furry” fetishist.

Also, the attempts to look like real cats are inconsistent. Sure, the ears move, as do the whiskers, but what good is any of that when all the cats have human hands and feet, and often left flesh-colored at that. Couldn’t such appendages have been painted or covered with gloves or socks? And why aren’t any of the cats’ noses painted here? Cats’ noses are pink, brown, and almost always a different color than the yap surrounding them. To a cat lover, it’s inexplicable.

3.) The special effects aren’t very special

The cat dancers here do a lot of wonderfully slinky moves, just like they did on stage, but the movie wants them to be able to leap about too and that requires wirework. Granted, the wires were removed in post-production, but when the dancers jump high in the sky here, it looks like crappy stuntwork. The movements are slow and rickety.

The effect of removing the human ears in post-production looks wrong too. Not enough hair fills out the edges of the face, giving some cast members the look of a burn victim or plastic surgery gone amuck. Placing human faces on the mice and cockroach characters is ugly and cheap-looking as well, but then so is the whole grotesque concept of Busby Berkeley dancing vermin.

4.) The acting soars…over-the-top

On Broadway, you can be as big as you want because you’re playing to the balcony. Movies are a whole other matter. Close-ups on film don’t require the same large efforts. Director Tom Hooper failed to learn from his mistakes in the movie version of LES MISERABLES that he directed. He shoved the camera right up into the actors’ faces to prove that they weren’t lip-syncing. Unfortunately, it showed off too much spittle and spray too. The same happens here. Jennifer Hudson’s Grizabella is so screechy, melodramatic, and moist, it makes a sympathetic character into a shrill one.

As for most of the rest of the cast, they either mug shamelessly or overdo the cat clichés. James Corden is slyly funny until he starts hacking up hairballs. Ian McKellen creates some pathos as Gus the Theater Cat, but then he vamps through his solo number and the heart-tugging moment almost becomes laughable. At least Judi Dench attempts to underplay throughout, but she’s not helped by a costume that makes her look more like Bert Lahr’s Cowardly Lion than a dignified Old Deuteronomy.

5.) If you’re going to write dialogue, resist hoary cat puns

Webber’s original stage production was a sung-thru musical. Adding dialogue now, with cheap puns like, “Cat got your tongue?” and “Cat’s out of the bag” should’ve given the filmmakers pause. (Not paws.)  There are too many cat behavioral clichés on display too, with the cast leaning hard on traits like hissing, preening, and lip-licking. They’re like students in a freshman improv class – “Okay, everyone, now you’re all cats!”

6.) Taylor Swift is wasted in a nothing role

She looks quite good in her “Josie and the Pussycats” kind of way, but her role as Bombalurina is virtually a throwaway. For starters, she doesn’t appear onscreen until the last 30 minutes, and then all she does basically is sing about what a badass Macavity is. We already know that as Idris Alba’s character is clearly the villain of this piece as evidenced by his every insidious action and all the snide lines he utters. Where’s Bombalurina been the whole time?

7.) The scale is all wrong

The cats here are too small in the context of many of the film’s settings, particularly its human homes. The scale isn’t properly proportioned as almost everything is too oversized, reminiscent of the fantasy sequences in ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. Such satirical scale worked there because it was a spoof of childhood. Here, it just looks wrong.

8.) Are we in a human world or a cat world?

The opening scene has a high-heeled woman step out of a car and throw her bagged pet away in a dirty alley. Additionally, Gus sings about appearing on stage with Shakespearean actors. But then the city marquees, billboards, and hotel names all are ‘cat-ified.’ So, are we in the human world or a modified cat one? Such inconsistencies should have been taken care of in the first pass through Final Draft.

9.) Tom Hooper is not a natural for such material

The Oscar-winning director for THE KING’S SPEECH tends to do well with character-driven pieces, like JOHN ADAMS on HBO and PRIME SUSPECT on Granada Television for the UK. Musicals are different though, requiring a sophisticated blend of the extroverted and the intimate. Too much of LES MIZ felt histrionic and broad, and the same goes here. He’s also not a natural at moving the camera and relies far too much on actors moving in and out of frame to give his film action.

Casting principal dancer Francesca Hayward of the Royal Ballet at Covent Garden as the lead cat Victoria here was his one inspired choice. She’s got expressive eyes and entrancing moves, and she makes her audience conduit character the calm in all the storm around her.

Alternately, Hooper badly botches the presentation of magical Mr. Mistoffelees, letting actor Laurie Edwards play him as far too irritating. The “Skimbleshanks” number not only feels extraneous here, but the character comes off as completely lackluster in the way Steven McRae performs the part. And the estimable Ray Winstone is given little to do but growl as Captain Growltiger, another throwaway role. So much for Hooper being such “an actor’s director.”

Perhaps the simple, stage-bound show should have remained so. Doing an adaptation of it almost 40 years after the fact is crazy late too, not helped by the fact that playwright John Guare satirized the notion of a CATS movie musical in his award-winning play SIX DEGREES OF SEPERATION way back in 1990. CATS is not a great musical onstage, anyway, but it’s been an enormous success for decades and should have garnered a better adaptation.  And cats, as a superior species, certainly deserve a lot better than this effort too.

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[flauntpage]

50 Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan: Part Four

Yeah man.

You know what time it is.

It’s time for the hottest takes in the Delaware Valley, and I’ve gotta be honest with you – these stories have been doing a lot better than I thought they would. If something ain’t broke, then it doesn’t need fixing, as Bert Lance once said. That’s why I’ve decided to come up with 50 more hot takes for you, the Philadelphia sports fan, since parts one, two, and three obviously were not enough.

Before we begin, I’d like to share a part of a recent email from a Crossing Broad reader, an email which served as the inspiration for this story:

It was an uplifting message for me, and with the resulting energy and motivation I came up another list of takes for y’all:

The Allen Iverson/Tyronn Lue stepover is the most overrated sequence in all of Philly sports. The Sixers went on to lose that series 4-1, yet here we are celebrating that moment like it was the Brandon Graham strip sack.

If given a choice between Taco Bell and Chipotle, I’m eating at Taco Bell.

The hatred for “chain restaurants” is misguided. If you’re suburban white trash, like me, you find comfort and familiarity in spots like Olive Garden or the Texas Roadhouse simply because you grew up absent of independent and unique restaurants.

103.7 in South Jersey plays better music than WMMR.

Old Town Road is a horrible song.

All millennials and Generation Z members should have their bank accounts frozen and assets seized until they have seen the following movies: Half Baked, Black Sheep, Happy Gilmore, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

“They” say that the millennial generation includes anybody who was born after 1980, which is technically true, but also off-base. If you were born before 1985, you have so much more in common with Generation X. You probably didn’t have a cell phone until college, you actually called your friends on a landline and said hello to their parents, and you entered the work force right before the economy went to shit. Most millennials, as stereotyped by others, were graduating college and high school during the recession, which impacted their ability to find jobs and affordable living. Older millennials like myself were lucky to have just missed that.

The “celebrity” scene at Philly sporting events is totally lame. It’s typically M Night Shyamalan, a shitty local rapper, and then 3-5 current or former Philly athletes.

I don’t trust people who dislike dogs. How could anybody possibly dislike dogs?

If you bring your dog to the dog park, you can’t just stare at your phone the entire time. You have to spend at least five seconds paying attention. Try to notice when your pooch takes a huge dump right in front of you.

People who throw trash out of their window while driving are the biggest scumbags on the planet.

“Price point” is an annoying term. You can just say “price” and it means virtually the same thing. It’s generally understood that prices change based on market fluctuations and typical bargaining.

Nobody gives a fuck about your fantasy football team.

Furthermore, if you’re watching the Eagles game with friends and family, don’t talk about your fantasy football team. Only talk about the Birds.

99 times out of 100, the person who cuts you off at the South Philly sports complex is a middle-aged white guy, 10 year old son in the passenger seat of his oversized gas guzzler of a truck, and he feels like he’s entitled to just jump in line wherever he wants. These people are total assholes.

If given a choice between Natty Lite and an IPA, I’m choosing Natty Lite.

If I’m forced to drink an IPA, I guess I’m going with the New England variety. West Coast IPA tastes like hoppy pinecone butthole.

The best brewery in our region is Hidden Sands, down in Egg Harbor Township. Excellent variety, great taproom, lots of interesting tastes with frequent rotation on the menu.

The second best brewery in our region is Evil Genius, for a lot of the reasons I listed above.

The most overrated brewery in our region is Tired Hands.

“Party school” rankings are dumb. Most big state schools have a party scene. What nobody ever talks about is substance abuse at high-ranking academic institutions, where the stress to perform relative to your peers results in people just drinking themselves into oblivion with regularity.

I like NBC Sports Philadelphia’s new studio. Maybe the anchor desk could be bigger.

Some people didn’t “get” my Jersey Shore column. It wasn’t an anti-shore column; I was telling people to take the occasional weekend and go somewhere else, see something different.

Y’all always say “who cares about Skip Bayless?” but click on those stories whenever we write them.

One of my biggest professional failures was being rejected for a Q/A story with Joe Cordell, of Cordell and Cordell. I exchanged some emails with his PR guy but was unable to get Joe on the phone.

Philadelphia doesn’t need any more bars or restaurants. Or snooty pizza places.

There are a lot of poorly run city agencies, but the Department of Revenue is the worst. It takes four weeks for any payment to clear, the web portal doesn’t work, and nobody on the phone has any idea what they’re doing.

I’d rather eat at Donkey’s than any cheesesteak place in the city.

A hot dog is not a sandwich because the bun is comprised of one piece of bread. If a hot dog bun was sliced into two halves, then it would be a sandwich.

“Is a hot dog a sandwich?” may be the dumbest debate ever.

Dunkin Donuts is better than Starbucks. Starbucks blows.

I can’t get down with the boat shoes and no socks look.

I kind of want to unionize Crossing Broad employees, just to see how Kyle responds.

It’s pointless to respond to a post or tweet with “nobody cares.” If you don’t care, then don’t respond.

Penn State fans should run James Franklin out of town. He doesn’t have what it takes to get you guys to the college football playoff.

People need to stop painting Penn State fans and alumni as Sandusky enablers or “pedos” or “cultists” or whatever. Yes, there was a portion of the community that seemed to handle the scandal poorly, but the vast majority of PSU people I know approached that topic with the required discretion and seriousness.

I hope Manny Diaz goes 0-12 this year and gets fired. I understand that the Miami situation was unexpected, and that his dream job opened up under unique circumstances, but he made a commitment to Temple and he should have kept his commitment.

When Josh Harris and David Blitzer sell their stake in Crystal Palace, they should purchase the Philadelphia Union from Jay Sugarman. Whatever $$$ amount it takes. Adding the Union to the Sixers/Devils/Blue Coats/Prudential Center portfolio would make a lot of sense geographically and from a growth potential standpoint.

Do you ever notice how sports radio callers are either incredibly stupid or incredibly smart? There never seems to a be a middle ground; they either make really good points or totally horrendous points.

Regarding the above, I feel like the smartest radio callers are dialing up Glen and Ray on the weekends, or queuing up for the Sixers post game show with Devon on 97.5.

People on Twitter talked a ton of shit about the Fanatic’s “Fantasy Fest,” which took place in August, but I think it’s a good idea. I’ve never actually been there, but what’s wrong with putting together an event where all of the radio personalities and listeners can get together? Just seems like a big party atmosphere to me. Shrug.

Changing poop diapers isn’t a big deal at all. The baby is only eating breast milk and formula, so the poop is consistent and sterile, or at least that’s what the pediatrician said.

Having a designated hitter in one league but not the other is laughably stupid. Baseball has some of the worst rules on the planet, but “baseball is fine” according to you curmudgeons.

The Yankees forcing their players to shave is incredibly corny. If they drafted me I’d refuse to play for them for that reason alone, then grow my beard like Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill out of spite.

If you don’t like soccer, just say you don’t like it. You don’t have to bend over backwards explaining why it’s a “communist” sport or “un-American” or for “liberal hipster pussies” or whatever.

Street hockey is underrated as a neighborhood game for kids. You just need sticks and a ball, then use backpacks or other items for the goalposts or buy a cheap pop-up net.

The Wells Fargo Center upgrades were badly needed. It feels like a 25 year old building with 75 years of use.

Temple needs to get out of the Linc and go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

College Gameday on Independence Mall was one of the most underrated Philly sports moments of all time. It brought a tear to my eye. A tear of joy.

David Lee Roth people need to get the fuck over themselves. Both Van Halen and Van Hagar dropped great music for us to listen to. Life is way too short to sit here complaining about Sammy’s time in the band.

Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,

-Kinker

The post 50 Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan: Part Four appeared first on Crossing Broad.

50 Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan: Part Four published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[joshuazev]

On a trip to the movies:

*new disclaimer-there are probably errors in this post.  sometimes late at night I don’t spell well or write good*

When I read the title to this post I always think of the Majestic Bay Theater in Ballard.  Before every show there would be a two-minute or something clip of these two young kids going to the movies while making sure at every turn to exercise appropriate movie-viewer behavior.  One part follows this young guy smoking, which in turn bothers the young girl, so the brother goes to fetch a staff member to tell the gentleman in front of them to stop smoking.  Then, later on when the movie is over, the boy and girl are on their way outside but see some leftover trash discarded by another patron.  The brother once again comes through in the clutch and whips out a handy dandy plastic bag to make sure the theater is left clean.  “A trip to the movies.”  The Majestic was also very well known for scaring the bejeezus out of me because before the feature was to start there would be a signature montage of a jockey on a horse being captured and the sound always spooked me a little bit.  “Elttaes theatre.  Where the magic returns again.  And again.  And again.  And now, our feature presentation.”  I can remember it like it was yesterday.  

I don’t go to movies as much as I should anymore.  I sometimes fall into the trap of blaming it on the price, but that’s utter bullshit.  When you love movies, you’ll go no matter what the cost is.  OK, maybe not whatever the cost is, but if you gotta go, you gotta go.  I can’t even blame it on the output because movie buffs and true aficionados always find places to see a good flick and here in NYC there are so many niche theaters and cool areas to catch a movie.  In the past couple days I’ve had two very different experiences watching movies.  Last night I went to Lincoln Square near Columbus Circle, a wonderful theatre that attracts many movie fans in that area and a lot of them are of the older persuasion.  The movie in question was “Maudie,” a film that came highly recommended to me by a couple members at the gym, so naturally I expected it to be good.  I got in the theatre about 4:40, just about showtime, and was blinded by the glare of bald spots.  I expected to be one of the few people there and was taken aback to find it was damn near a full house.  I snuck into one of the rows in the back, set my backpack down, and got comfortable.  The trailers were pretty crappy, but it was funny to observe which trailers the audience liked.  The only one I was interested in was a movie about a step team in Baltimore.  There didn’t seem to be as much of an audible response to that trailer as there was to the others.  Ah well.  I wasn’t surprised.  By the time the movie was beginning I was getting to be a little tired.  It had a slow start, which pretty much spelled out my doom right then and there.  A funny thing happened though.  The film started with one of those scenes that actually was set later in the movie.  I only made it a couple scenes beyond that.  When I woke up like an hour later, groggy eyed and disoriented, they had cut back to that first scene, so even though I missed damn near the entire movie it felt like I hadn’t really missed anything at all.  That was short lived because—when the movie finished up ten minutes later—I realized I couldn’t tell anyone shit about shit as far as what happened in the movie.  

I saw “Dunkirk” tonight at a much bigger theater, the AMC 25 right in the middle of Times Square.  I went to the front to get a ticket and the lady behind me had the audacity to tell me with a straight face that the ticket would be $23 dollars.  I thought this had to have included a meal, my laundry, and a gym membership or something, but apparently that was just the ticket’s value.  I gladly paid her in freshly rolled coins, but it did take me a second to open my eyes a little bit wider and realize that I wasn’t dreaming.  $23 dollars!?  What.  The.  Fuck.  I knew IMAX was expensive, but I hadn’t even been to a 3D IMAX Cineplex CINERAMA Pacific Science Center showing that was $23 dollars.  Have I complained too much?  My bad.  23 dollars.  That’s like nothing, right?  I’ll just shut up now.  Then I get to the actual theater with my super cool assigned seat, found someone sitting in it, kicked him out, and sat down.  They were huge leather seats with little remote thingymajigs that let me recline and extend.  That was pretty cool; I can’t lie.  Then the trailers started.  And they continued.  And continued.  And continued.  The movie was supposed to start at 9:30.  I checked my phone after the last trailer.  It was fucking 10:04.  10:04!!!!!!  34 minutes of trailers!  And they were trash movies!  All of them!  Fuck.  But then the movie started and “Dunkirk” for those who don’t know is a war movie by Christopher Nolan.  My friend and I quickly learned after the opening sequence in which there was heavy machine gun fire and ear splitting planes trying to shoot the other one down that the seats would rumble every time there was a vibration of sound.  The movie was about two hours of non-stop action and since the seat was responding to everything happening on screen, it kind of felt like we were riding a roller coaster.  It was a memorable movie, to say the least.  Even if I was sleepy, like I was for “Maudie,” this movie wouldn’t have let me off the hook.  The score alone was astounding.

So, there it is.  Two experiences at the movies.  One short-lived experience, conscious wise.  And the other, one over-the-top, expensive, superfluous, gratuitous, but ultimately entertaining and crowd pleasing.  The state of movies or the viewing of them is certainly in a flux.  Or maybe it isn’t and the space in between the incredibly wide spectrum is something to appreciate and be thankful for.  That could be so.  I do wonder sometimes what it was like to see a movie in the fifties like those two kids in the Majestic Bay.  I’m sure I wouldn’t be smoking, but I’m also sure I wouldn’t be carrying around a plastic bag in case someone had left a box of Milk Duds.  To be honest, I’d probably just eat the leftovers.  

What will a trip to the movies look like ten years from now?  Will there be an hour of trailers before hand?  Will tickets cost fifty dollars?  Will movies like “Maudie” still be shown or produced, at all?

I wonder.